#we know that Pearl is doing double meanings too cause right before she says “why do you have to look up to her”

[faelapis]

what i mean when i say i like jasper’s ending a Lot in terms of “what the character needs”, rather than what the audience needs, is that the transition from “fragments”, to “homeworld bound”, to finally “the future” shows, albeit quickly, a pretty interesting commentary on “want vs need”.

“want vs need” is a pretty basic storytelling concept of, basically, writing flawed characters who have some growing to do as people. they “want” one thing, but they actually “need” another thing.

so let’s talk about jasper’s “want” vs “need”.

cont: but you are not my diamond. if you think you’re hard enough to tell me what to do, fight me and prove it.

she makes her “want” clear in every episode she’s in SU future - which is that she wants to subjugate herself to a diamond, because that’s the only worthwhile purpose in life she’s known.

but we, and steven, don’t actually want that to happen. we know it’s not good for her health. we’ve seen that it’s not, both because hierarchies like those are toxic and because we’ve been shown, specifically for jasper, that it causes her to self-destruct over and over again.

so when it does happen, it’s very fitting that it’s in the worst circumstances possible. she begged for steven to fight her with all his might, over and over again, so he could prove himself a worthy diamond - to the point where he ends up shattering her. and when she’s brought back to life, she’s not even mad at him. he’s proven himself a “worthy” superior.

so we’ve been shown very clearly that jasper’s want is pretty, well, unhealthy for her. she would literally die for it, and get nothing in return except unhealthy, oppressive structures around her. getting everything she wants, at long last, fills her with a kind of void and fragile happiness... which only lasts so long as steven embraces his role as diamond and stays with her. 

hence we, and steven, only see her act at peace with her circumstances without complaint for a couple minutes, and it always (both in fragments and homeworld bound) ends in her own heartbreak. that’s the fragility of her “want”.

basically, it’s bad because, albeit she would know what to do with these structures... it would be at the expense of her own agency, character growth and health. it would always end badly for her.

this is a good time to point out the parallels to steven in “mr universe”.

much like jasper, steven doesn’t care if the structures around greg were cruel or oppressive. he never looks closely enough to notice how much greg hated his life. he just wants things he sees as “normal”. he wants guidance, certainty and authority figures to tell him what he’s “supposed” to do in life.

so. how is jasper’s “want” inverted?

much like rose would eventually do with pearl, the unhealthy attachment is cut by giving your subject a very bitter pill - disappearing from their life. by leaving them behind, you’re essentially forcing them to grow.

that’s NOT the main / only reason rose has steven, or steven eventually leaving beach city... but both serve the purpose of making someone who idolized you “deal with” your absence. and that’s certainly at least a part of their intention - rose thought of herself as stuck and likely holding pearl back. steven is horrified by the diamond role and wants jasper to do “something better”.

and that leads us to jasper’s “need” - to be free from these oppressive authority structures and find her own path in life. this would both improve her health & happiness, as well as making her stop engaging in unhealthy behavior towards herself and others.

now. is she fully “there” yet? no. 

but i think that as much as her trying to persuade steven to take her with him into the great unknown mirrors pearl - ie “i should be fighting for you, because you’re too important”, her reaction to steven’s reassurance that he will be fine shows that she’s already done more growing than pearl had at that point.

she’s likely been taking classes at little homeworld (where she was confirmed to currently live, NOT just visit to say goodbye to steven) for the preceding months between “i am my monster” and “the future”. she’s somewhere near accepting that her diamond doesn’t need protection. it’s also likely something she started thinking after “fragments” - if your diamond is truly so wonderfully powerful... why would they need your protection? what is your “purpose”? steven defeating her + leaving without her in “homeworld bound” both lead her to the same conclusion - she can’t fail or succeed in protecting him, because he doesn’t need her to.

thus, her role isn’t warranted.

“i can protect myself”. “i know... farewell, my diamond”.

it’s pretty significant to me that at the end of their little scene, steven doesn’t run away or give jasper any orders to stop following him. SHE leaves, albeit sadly, because she agrees with him. he can take care of himself.

jasper’s still framing steven as a diamond / superior, but... i think a big point here is that she’s someone who was so firmly stuck at the bottom of a pit of self-hatred, isolation and meaninglessness that she couldn’t unstuck herself - not without being pushed to do so. which ended up also being true for steven.

that’s the irony of the double-edged sword of her “want” - in a way, she’s right about one thing. she can’t just magically get better on her own.

i think the episode “guidance” illustrates an interesting balance between steven and amethyst’s philosophies - amethyst would rather gems do whatever, even if they end up slipping back into their old patterns. steven would rather guide them towards challenging themselves, even if that means dismissing their autonomy.

jasper... kinda gets both? her “want” and “need” play into each other in interesting ways. i’ve been framing her want as a negative a lot, but it does have an interesting silver lining - she had to get what she wanted (to be defeated, to be given a diamond), to be pushed to what she needed.

and in turn, steven needed to listen to and adapt to HER, in order to help her. only after doing that, after being pushed by jasper in turn and truly giving her what she wants, even if it tears you apart mentally... would she ever listen to you. as steven is probably used to by now.

and despite the tragedy of it, i think that’s... kind of an okay thing to show? because not everyone will seek help on their own. it’s not the uplifting message of “anyone who needs help will eventually realize it entirely on their own”, but it IS the hopeful message of “even people who refuse help, deserve help”. 

there’s horror in steven ultimately adapting to jasper’s desires, because it shows them both the fragility of their wants - for steven, being able to control jasper was a horrifying consequence. he got what he “wanted” in the worst way possible. for jasper, getting what she “wanted” meant being forced to let it (steven) go in favor of staying at little homeworld. 

but honestly... we already knew that jasper would never seek help on her own. she’s too “selfless”, in the toxic sense. purpose matters most.

and she’s not alone in that.

“pearl took pride in risking her destruction for your mother. she put rose quartz over everything; over logic, over consequence, over her own life.”

pearl taking rose down from that pedestal was a slow, elaborate, exhausting process that took years of actively working on herself. the majority of that work was only done after rose was gone.

jasper’s gonna have all the same tools - a genuine support network, people who are willing to both empathize and teach a better way, distance from her romanticized superior, and her own desire to get better. 

the latter point, at first, because she’s told to. but as we saw in “little homeschool”, leaving her to her own devices without any “worthwhile” path forward wasn’t ideal. her “want”, much like amethyst said... still deserves to be listened to, even if she still thinks like a homeworld gem. 

but the seriousness of such an effort is, as pearl taking care of steven “for rose” and then “for him” and finally growing to do things “for herself” shows, a good avenue for REAL growth. jasper may soon yet grow for her own sake.

and the results... again, pulling pearl as my example, can be remarkable.

as i’ve said before... i am pretty sad we won’t actually get to see more of that. that’s what “the audience” may have felt they needed from jasper. the same way i’m sure rose would find it bittersweet to know how much pearl has grown without her. the same way you’re sad whenever you don’t see a character you love find love and happiness onscreen, even if it’s implied...

but in a show told from steven’s perspective, i think there is some point to that.

i’ve come around to the following: she couldn’t go with him. any forgiving hugs steven & jasper could’ve given each other at this point would’ve been hollow. that power dynamic would’ve been in the way. what they “need” is not each other. they need people who really, truly understand them, and to figure out what they want in their lives when steven doesn’t have someone to save emotionally (jasper), and jasper doesn’t have someone to sacrifice herself for (steven). 

(...and it’s at this point you realize i made you read ALL OF THAT mainly to justify why pearl and jasper’s relationship is gonna be such a central thing in my post-canon fanfic. lol. anyway here’s the link again.)

[amispnrewatch]

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

[violetwolfraven]

“You know they’re gonna get married and have a bunch of unholy babies.”

*deep breath* Here we go. I can do this.

It’s been a long time (like over a month) since I’ve put anything out, but... I’m trying. Got struck with a small bolt of inspiration and I’m gonna try to start creating again. As of now I am gonna say that requests are still closed, but I’m feeling a bit better and I think this fic looks okay, so don’t hesitate to comment with your thoughts!

Tw: implied internalized homophobia, rejection, mentioned child neglect.

...

Flynn knows that Carrie likes girls.

She’s always known. It’s obvious. It’s been obvious. Since even before the first time Ray showed the girls (Triple Threat. Triple Threat was going to be their band name after they were introduced to Carrie in 2nd grade, key words going to be—) Star Wars and while Julie was saying how cool Princess Leia shooting a gun was, all Carrie could talk about was how pretty she was.

Carrie’s favorite flowers are violets. Her favorite Disney fairy is Vidia. Her favorite Avenger is Thor. It’s obvious. It always has been.

Flynn has known Carrie likes girls... well, the entire time they’ve known Carrie. Carrie likes girls. It’s just the way things are. Julie has a seemingly permanent crush on Nick but occasionally gets another one on someone else (she has excellent, though unrealistic, taste) Ray and Rose don’t question it when Flynn shows up at their house unexpectedly, and Carrie likes girls.

And Flynn likes Carrie, not that she feels like telling her that.

Carrie, who shines like a neon pink supernova when she sings, who attacks every move when she dances, who is ambitious and ruthless and... so insecure.

She needs constant validation. She needs reassurance that people can care about her for more than just her dad’s wealth and fame. She needs to know she isn’t going to be left behind again.

She seems to like being needed, when Flynn’s mom and dad finally get divorced, perfectly happy to wake up at odd hours to marathon the entire Pirates of the Caribbean franchise because it’s not like Flynn’s dad will notice if they leave the house in the middle of the night and take an Uber to a mansion above the beach because she needs to feel seen right now.

And it’s not that they blame her for any of it. She doesn’t. It’s just... weird, knowing that Carrie needs those nights, needs to feel needed, as much as Flynn needs to feel noticed.

It would be simpler to go to Julie’s house, but Carrie knows how it feels to have the ground under your feet shaken and your family break apart. Julie can’t possibly understand that yet, so Flynn goes to Carrie.

And Carrie takes to popping in The Curse of the Black Pearl before she can even ask her to. She learns to braid natural hair and will sit for hours doing Flynn’s. She’ll talk absentmindedly about the latest shenanigans her dance class has been up to until they feel up to talking about whatever’s bothering them.

They talk about Flynn’s mixed feelings about her mom’s new girlfriend and their buttload of homework and her dad paying more attention to his car than to them and somewhere in there, Flynn realizes that isn’t just a crush. She’s had those before. This—what they’re feeling now—is love. Or... it has to be.

It has to be love because what else could possibly be this strong?

She really shouldn’t have forgotten that as their dad likes to joke about, love is bullshit.

And Flynn really shouldn’t have taken Julie’s advice about making a move on the girl they have a crush on (she didn’t even tell Julie who it was, what were they thinking?).

Because Flynn pours her heart out, says they’ve been in love with her since they were 7 (and they’re 13 now so literally almost half her life), and Carrie just stares at her for a full 10 seconds, then runs—no—sprints away.

Less than 48 hours later it’s all over her Instagram that she and Nick are going out on a date, and Flynn wants to scream.

They both keep it together for Julie, pretend they’re still friends, because Rose just got diagnosed with cancer and Julie needs them to be normal, so they are.

But the first and last time Flynn tries going over to Carrie’s house again after the fiasco of telling her how they feel, it’s a big argument that narrowly avoids waking Trevor that ends in an unholy, heartbroken mess of you don’t even like him, you don’t even like boys so why and I don’t know what you’re talking about and yeah, right, call me when you’re ready to stop pretending to be something you’re not.

Then Flynn leaves, goes to the Molinas’ (Ray makes her hot chocolate, he’s such a good dad), and pretends it doesn’t hurt until it doesn’t anymore. Until she’s angry instead of heartbroken and they’re not just angry for herself. They’re angry that things are weird enough now that Julie can tell something’s up. Angry that Nick’s inevitably going to get his heart stepped on (because he is a sweetheart, if an oblivious one). Angry that Carrie’s gone and formed her own band without what is now going to be just Double Trouble and her performances are good.

Angry that Carrie thinks liking girls would... what? Make people love her less? Make her dad love her less? Hurt her career bad enough to end it?

And she’s definitely angry that Carrie’s pushing Julie so hard back towards music, after Rose dies.

She means well, thinking what she did to cope with her mom abandoning her will work for Julie, but she’s being short-sighted about it.

Rose’s death is hitting all of them hard in different ways (Rose was almost as good as another mom to Flynn), only Carrie can’t seem to see that. She can’t seem to see that when Julie’s hurting, she shuts down completely. Stops creating music because it’s what she needs to do to cope.

And Carrie... does not react well when Flynn tries to tell her that. That conversation ends in a big, explosive fight in the Molinas’ garage with Julie caught in the middle that doesn’t stop until Ray comes out and makes them stop by telling Carrie he’s driving her home.

Flynn shoves every last bit of feelings they might have had for Carrie down and puts all her energy into making sure Julie will be okay.

They don’t miss the feeling of Carrie’s hands in her hair, hearing her voice sarcastically remarking on how Jack Sparrow is lucky to be alive, and talking about feelings with someone who clearly needs that talk as badly as they do.

It’s almost the same, once Julie feels okay enough to handle listening to other people’s problems, but...

“I know you love her, Flynn,” Julie tells them one day, months after the big fight.

To which Flynn can only respond, “That’s not true.”

Because it’s not. Not after everything Carrie said. Because if there’s still some feelings left over for that beautiful neon pink supernova demon... no there isn’t. She turned them into anger, making snappy comments about how Carrie’s a traitor, a demon, whatever.

About how she’s gonna end up with Nick and live unhappily ever after.

That not happening would require either Nick to get his sweet himbo head out of the clouds (probably not going to happen), or Carrie to get past the denial phase of accepting her sexuality.

Ha. Fucking likely that is.

Because Carrie likes girls. Flynn’s always known she does.

But she’s also insecure and aggressive and obsessed with breaking out of her dad’s shadow, and any possible threat to that dream can’t stand.

Even if accepting herself might actually make both of them her happy. Fill in some of the holes in both of their lives her self-esteem.

Carrie’s too damn stubborn to even consider it, and Flynn doesn’t miss her. They don’t. She’s not stupid enough to hold on to something that will never happen and they have moved on. Can even joke about it now.

“You know they’re gonna get married and have a bunch of unholy babies.”

...

Part 2 here cause I’m physically incapable of not writing at least the possibility for a happy ending!

[browniefox]

Color Theory

@wrightfamilyweek Day 2 - Investigation/Hijinks

In which an anniversary is coming up, so Trucy makes some plans.

You can also find this on AO3 right here :)

“Have fun at work, Daddy!”

Trucy runs up to Daddy and hugs him around the stomach. He kisses the top of his head.

“Mmhm, I expect your homework to be done and you to be in bed by the time I get home, alright? No exceptions!"

“Of course!”

“And no trips to Germany, alright? I’m sure you can hold off for another few months.” Daddy teases. Trucy sticks his tongue out at him and he ruffles her hair before going out the door. In a few months, she is going to actually get to go with Daddy on one of his trips to see Miles, a reconnection between the two of them since Trucy's own little trip a year ago.

As the door closes, Trucy runs over to the window and waits until she sees Daddy riding down the street on his bike, officially out of the building. Her homework is already done, most of it finished during class time and the rest of it finished up during recess and on her way home from school. Walking while writing had made her numbers come out a little odd, but it didn’t matter, because now she had hours and hours of time to work.

She stops by the fridge, staring up at the calendar. It’s four weeks away from the date circled in red, and two weeks from the date that sits ominously empty. It’s plenty of time, though.

Trucy makes a lap around the office, double-checking that the windows are locked just like Daddy does every time before leaving. Everything seems safe and sound, so she grabs her backpack and leaves, making sure she has the spare key and locking the door behind her. Daddy won’t be home until late, but she’s still going to make care to be home with plenty of time to spare. The meer idea of putting him through the same fear of last year sits in her chest like a promise.

It’s a few bus-stops to get to Gummy and Maggey’s house. They’re both out at the moment, so Trucy finds the spare key in the fake rock and lets herself in. She’s spent a lot of time over here by now, and the couple has spent alot of time over at the office, the big and towering man she’d met at the airport transforming into a familiar and lovable family friend.

She skips over to the closet, pulling out the supplies stuck in there. Streamers and confetti, magic wands and fake flowers, tumbling out from where Gummy had helped her shove them in last time. She looks down at the supplies and begins organizing it into the different acts that they’re associated with. There’s a lot of pieces, a lot to get over to the Wonder Bar eventually. Keeping so much of it over here makes it harder to practice back at home, but that’s kind of the point, even if it’s really annoying.

Gummy and Maggie came home after an hour, setting their things down and chatting about their day while Gummy starts dinner. The smell fills the house, warm and comforting. Trucy likes the Gumshoe house. It’s not too big, but not too small either. Gummy and Maggey used to clean it up before she came over, but they’ve stopped making that special little change for her, and so she gets to see it all lived in, a sock strewn here, a few dishes left out, pillows lying wherever they were last placed. Small things that make the place not a house but a home. She’s never had a home like this one, and oh there are sometimes where she’ll be lying on the couch and imagine what it would be like to stay here.

She knows she could.

Daddy has made it clear that if she ever felt dissatisfied with the cramped office, with him, all she has to do was say something. Gummy and Maggey have mentioned, before, that they’d be willing to take her in if anything ever happened to Daddy. Gummy had laughed about all the sorts of injuries Daddy tended to accrue, recounting a story about Daddy getting amnesia before a case - Trucy knew that one, she’d read it a bit ago.

Trucy doesn’t want to leave the cramped little office.

After dinner, Trucy uses Gummy’s phone. Gummy and Maggey know how to set up her stuff for a performance by now - they’ve already agreed to be her stage crew for the performance. While they’re doing that, Trucy calls up Aunty Maya.

“How’s my favorite magician doing?” Maya answers, and Trucy can hear the smile in her voice.

“Working on her next trick.” Trucy replies. Maya makes a humming sound.

“Well, things are going well on our end over here. Are you sure about the color? You don’t want to go darker?” Maya asked.

“Nope! It’s, well, there’s a reason for the shade.” Trucy says. She can hear Maya hum in understanding over the receiver.

“Well, I’m almost finished with it, although I’ll probably come up soon just to make sure everything is right. Pearly says hi, by the way.”

“Oh! Is she there?! Is she there?! Hi Pearls!” Trucy shouts over the phone and gets a distant and soft ‘hi Trucy!’.

“When I come down I’ll bring Pearly with me, don’t worry. If I didn’t,she might just run the whole way over there anyway!” Maya laughs and Trucy laughs along.

“If everything’s working out, then I’m gonna have to go. I need to make sure the rest of the show is ready to go!” Trucy says.

“Alright, alright, just say you’re afraid I’m going to start prattling on about the new season of Rubber Samurai. But you know there-”

“Love you Aunty Maya bye!” Trucy hits the end call button still chuckling to herself. She hopes that Aunty Maya makes true on her promise to come back down and to bring Pearls before the big day, but if she doesn’t then Trucy guesses she can wait that long, even if it’ll be agonizing.

She stares at the next number for a long long while before finally hitting the call button.

The phone rings once, twice, three times before he picks up.

“Gumshoe, this had better be fucking import-”

“Hi, Miles!” Trucy chirps. There’s silence on the other end.

“... who is this?” Miles grumbles.

“Trucy Wright!”

“Trucy?!” Miles sounds a little more awake now.

“Yup!”

“Ms. Trucy… why are you calling me at… three in the morning?” Miles groans.

“Th… three in the… OH!” Trucy gasps, feeling her face flush in embarrassment. She’d completely forgotten to take into account time differences. “Oh my god, Miles, I’m so sorry, it’s pretty late here and-”

“It’s, it’s fine Ms. Trucy. Just tell me what you were calling about… from Gumshoe’s phone? Is your father alright?” Worry creeps into Miles voice.

“Oh, yes, Daddy’s fine! Daddy’s just at work right now, and I went over to Gummy and Maggey’s! We had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, and then we’re gonna play a card game, and then Gummy is gonna drive me back to the office ‘cause it’s all dark now!” Trucy says.

“Ms. Trucy, I don’t mean to sound rude, but again, it is three a.m. here…” Miles sighs.

“Right! Right, um… Mr. Edgeworth, do you think you could help me with a little something.”

“I’m going to need a bit more information than that.”

Trucy rattles off her little plan into the phone. Miles stays silent for the entire explanation, only grunting here and there to assure her that he is still awake and listening on the other end.

“... this is very short notice.” Miles says.

“Oh,” Says Trucy, looking down at her feet, “Well, that’s okay, I’m sure together, the rest of us-”

“I never said I wouldn’t do it, just that next time you’re planning something like This, please, tell me about it a little more ahead of time.”

“Okay! Yeah! Next time! And this time… you can do it?” She double checks.

“Yes, you can count on me, Ms. Trucy.”

“Thank you! Um, I’ll let you get back to sleep, thank you!”

Trucy skips back into the kitchen, where Gummy and Maggey have set up a board game. She still has her show to practice a bit more, and even now thinking about it she’s a little nervous, but she’s found she’s more excited. It’s coming together.

oOo

“Please, Daddy, please, come and see my show tonight? Pleaseeeee?”

Phoenix lets out a long sigh. Trucy is bouncing around in excitement in front of him. She’s already done her stage makeup, and he’d helped her put little weaving braids into her hair. Most of it will be covered up by her hat, but there are usually moments during the performance where the hat comes off, and so she needs to look amazing no matter what’s going on. Phoenix is fine to help her with this, but on today of all days, all he wants to do is sit in his office, read through old case files, and mourn what he has lost.

He was disbarred two years ago. That both feels like too much and not enough time. For the most part, he likes to think that he’s been coping with it well. He’s been working, and raising Trucy, and he’s had some other little things in the works, but on today of all days, it’s so hard to focus and not feel the ache of what was taken from him, of what he’s lost, of those who have come to his door in the past couple years looking for help and having to be turned away.

“Trucy, baby,” Phoenix starts, trying to let her down easy, but Trucy stomps her foot.

“No, Daddy, please, just, just come? To the show? Please?” She begs.

She’s been 'off' all week, too quiet and then too talkative in bursts that serve to confuse Phoenix. Now, there’s something almost akin to fear in her eyes, and it tugs at Phoenix’s heartstrings.

“Alright, sweetie, let me just,” He looks down at himself, still in sweatpants and a hoodie. He’d meant to get dressed today, but even now he’s struggling to find the energy to get into something better, and eventually he just says lamely, “Put some shoes on.”

He gets a pair of beat-up sneakers on and walks outside with Trucy, who is still vibrating with energy. He considers for a moment that perhaps he should buy a new pair of shoes, but then he sees Trucy’s cape, starting to look thread-bare in places and sitting so much shorter on her than it did two years ago. It used to fall to cover her almost completely in a mysterious sort of way, but now you can see her entire hands. Trucy has told him before it’d be fine, her cape had been too long anyway, but maybe he should start to consider how to get her something new and nice. Things for himself could be put off as long as they needed to be.

The ride down to the Wonder Bar is quiet between them, Trucy sitting on his handlebars with careful balance. The first five times they did it, Phoenix had been worried about her falling off or something, but now it was routine if they had anywhere they both had to be and didn’t have the time to puzzle through bus schedules or the budget for a taxi.

Phoenix recognizes some of the people in the Wonder Bar, and Mr. Wunderbar himself comes over and greets.

“Ah, Ms. Wright, so glad to see you! Your assistants are already backstage.” Mr. Wunderbar says. Phoenix’s brow furrows.

“Assistants? You mean the your staff?” Phoenix asks.

“Alright thanks Mr. Wunderbar Daddy find a seat love you bye!” Trucy says in one breath and runs over to the stage.

“This way, Mr. Wright. Trucy asked that we have a table upfront reserved just for you.” Mr. Wunderbar leads the way to one of the tables close to the stage, which does indeed have a a ‘Reserved’ marker on it. Phoenix feels suddenly self conscious in his outfit. He’d been planning to sit in the back, where nobody could see him, and he feels like everybody in the bar, waiting for Trucy to perform, are staring at him.

Mr. Wunderbar took his order and then slipped away. Phoenix drumms his fingers on the table, a cowardice sweeping through him with such force that he almost gets up and walks away. Something odd is going on, and it's making him even more nervous.

“Oh good, Trucy was really worried you wouldn’t show up.”

Phoenix jumps at the familiar voice, and spins around to see Maya and Pearls.

“Wh- hey, what are you two doing here?!” Phoenix jumps up and hugs both of them, “And especially what’s Pearls doing in here?”

“Mr. Wunderbar says that so long as nobody at our table orders drinks, he’ll allow it this once.” Maya says, sitting down, and Pearls sits on the other side of Phoenix, sandwiching him between the Fey’s.

“But why are you two-”

“Now Nick, do you really think we’d let you spend today on your own to mope?” Maya sets her hands on her hips. Phoenix looks away. He doesn’t point out that they didn’t last year, because it’s not their responsibility to look after him. Maya has her own life she’s living. She had texted and called him, though, regularly, throughout the day, at random intervals. She threatened that if he didn’t pick up any of the times, she’d be coming over right way, “I’ll admit, though, clearly we came mostly to see Trucy perform. Right Pearls?”

“Yeah! She’s so amazing, Mr. Nick! And we also had to bring the-” Pearls starts to say, but Maya puts a finger to her lips and shushes Pearls, who’s mouth slams shut.

“... alright, enough of this, what’s going on?” Phoenix asks more plainly.

“So she still hasn’t seen fit to tell you yet?”

And then, slipping into the fourth seat at the table, is Miles. Miles, in California, in the flesh, in the Wonderbar.

“M-Miles! What are you doing here?”

“Your daughter had a simple request, and I obliged.” Miles sniffs, “You look,” Miles regards Phoenix and Phoenix looks away, wishing he’d brought something to cover his head as well, “Alright, all things considered.” He ends.

“No need to sugar coat it, Miles.” Phoenix laughs bitterly.

“I’m not. You seem to forget you’re not the only one who has gone through some trying times.”

Before Phoenix can formulate anything to say to that, the lights in the bar dim. The curtain lifts, but there’s a sheet behind it, so that all once can see of Trucy is her silhouette.

“Now introducing… Trucy Gramraye!” The announcer booms, and there’s some applause, even though nothing’s happened yet, Trucy still not seen.

“There are times that we, in life, come to a crossroads,” Trucy’s voice booms through the speakers over a mystical sounding soundtrack, “ Where we our lives take sudden changes.”

Oh, Phoenix thinks, heart plummeting to the bottom of his stomach, a theory forming in his mind, She wanted me here for her Last Show. Did something happen that made her want to stop being a magician? He’s tried to be supportive, even though he’s had some trouble keeping track of the supplies she needs, and how to help her out, with her teaching him far more than he can possibly teach her about this stuff. He’s offered to get in touch with Max Galactica, but Trucy had made it plain her opinion of that magician.

“Sometimes, you need to say things. And sometimes actions - and appreances - speak louder than words.”

Phoenix almost wants to stand up, to shout at her that no, he doesn’t want her to give up her magic just because she thinks it’s going to make him happy, but he’s frozen in his seat as the sheet of paper hiding his daughter from view is torn through and fog comes rolling out… but she’s not there.

In a puff of smoke, Trucy appears on top of his table. She winks down at him, the spot light finding her.

Her red hat and cape and bag are all gone, replaced by pale blue versions. New, lovingly crafted, and Trucy puts her hands above her head in a pose.

“I am Trucy Gramarye, but your little witch in red is now a magician in blue. Sorry if I startled anybody by coming… out of the blue like that?” Trucy says. She smiles, twirls around, and in another puff of smoke she’s gone. The room goes dark.

The spotlight finds her back on the stage, still in the strange blue uniform.

“Wh-what- when did she-”

“You know, in Kurain, we have to make all our own clothes.” Maya says with a mischievous little smirk.

“You mean you-”

“She wanted to put together something to make sure you weren’t too sad today.” Maya explains, smiling.

Phoenix does his best not to cry so that he doesn’t miss any bit of the show.

When it’s done, Mr. Wunderbar brings over another chair and Trucy sits with them. Phoenix spends the evening surrounded by his friends, by his family, and staring at Trucy’s new outfit. Blue, just like his old suit, he thinks.

“Do you like it?” She asks, surprisingly shyly, right before bed. Phoenix grins, picks her up, and twirls her around.

“You look amazing sweetie. You know, you didn’t have to go through all that just for me.”

“I didn’t do it just for you.” Trucy defends, “I did it because I wanted to! And because I love you!”

“I love you too Truce.”

Tomorrow morning, reality will set in again. He’ll have work, and maybe all the grief he was able to put off today will make a forceful comeback, but tonight he knows he’s loved, and that Trucy wants to be a part of his world, wants to be a part of his broken little family, and maybe that’s all that really matters in the end.

[san-shui]

HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED! @djts-arts

i'm sorry this took a while but here's ur gift! it's based off on the MLB AU but doesn't follow ur plot. basically - let parrmour be happy lol! anyway i love you and hope you enjoy it!

i also posted it on ao3

On Monday

On Monday, I met you

It was the first day of school and the first akuma attack when Jane Seymour, a.k.a. Chat Noire, met Ladyblue.

How they met was by accident when Ladyblue flew into Chat Noire, who was walking along her baton like a tightrope, learning her new abilities. Their time to get acquainted was cut due to having to fight an akumatized classmate, Stoneheart.

But the moment Chat Noire met her partner in crime, she was entranced.

I liked you, I liked you

The girl had bronze skin and short, dark curly hair that parted on her left side with blue highlights hanging over her deep brown eyes.

Her skintight was black with light blue on the front in the style of an opened short sleeve jacket that stopped at the waist and on the legs from the knees down her to her feet, and within the light blue were black spots while white pearls lined along her wrists and waist into a “V” on the front. Her mask was opposite of the suit (light blue with black spots), and on her head was a black headband with silver spikes.

Even though she was in her superhero outfit, Ladyblue was gorgeous. Appearance was one thing, but her personality was another, and it's just as beautiful as her. Her bravery, her cleverness, her strength, her positivity, and her confidence.

It’s Monday – bad day

After defeating Stoneheart for the second and official time, the superheroes checked to make sure that the citizens were alive and well. To their surprise and glee, the akumatized classmate ended up dating their crush.

But good day for us

“They’re made for each other,” Ladyblue awed.

“Like us two,” Chat Noire flirted, offering her new partner a hand.

Good for us

Right then, Chat Noire’s ring beeped as the fourth paw flashes green – signaling one minute left before transforming back into civilian form. At that, Ladyblue grabbed her wrist and pulled it forward, showing the ring.

“Uh-oh, you see that?” Ladyblue asked lightly.

Chat Noire glanced at it then at her, and noticed how close their faces were to each other.

Even though they just met today, Chat Noire briefly wondered how those lips felt against her. It must’ve been subconscious because the next thing Chat Noire knew was her eyes drifted close then getting shoved back.

You wouldn’t let me kiss you

“Time to split,” Ladyblue said, releasing her hand.

Too stunned to move or speak, Chat Noire merely stood and watched as Ladyblue walked away.

“See you soon, Chat Noire,” Ladyblue said with a wave, then swung her yoyo out and launched herself into the air and behind some buildings.

Chat Noire smiled and dazely waved.

And that is why

She’s been in a relationship before and truly thought she was in love with him, but he turned out to be douche. She thought she learned to not fall in love so fast, but fighting alongside Ladyblue, Chat Noire was willing to do anything to get closer to her.

“Can’t wait, milady,” she whispered, then turned and vaulted away.

You were my kind of guy

~~~

Then Tuesday, I called you

Chat Noire was playing with her baton while lying lazily on a roof. After defeating another akumatized civilian, the superheroes agreed on doing patrol around London to further prevent harm and more akumas. Chat Noire wanted to talk to Ladyblue, but she left before Chat Noire could get a word in.

Chat Noire wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Wasn’t Ladyblue curious about her partner too? Or was she just too busy today? Chat Noire knew what it was like to be busy. Her civilian form, Jane Seymour, was a famous singer in England, she was bound to be crowded with meetings and rehearsals and classes.

Still, why did Ladyblue leave in a hurry?

Chat Noire supposed she could learn more about her baton’s gadgets. She had the rest of the day anyway. She was boredly pressing buttons when Contacts popped up on the screen. Seeing the only contact on her baton was Ladyblue’s, Chat Noire perked up.

She immediately pressed “call” under Ladyblue’s profile and waited eagerly. To her disappointment, the call went to voicemail. Chat Noire frowned, but it quickly vanished when an idea hit, and she pressed “call” again.

Several hours later, Chat Noire had left about 15 voicemails for Ladyblue of her rambling about her day. Unlike the others, the last voicemail was sincere as she asked if they could meet and talk. Assuming Ladyblue wouldn’t answer, Chat Noire set down her baton, sighed, and gazed at the starry night.

Ignored me, straight voicemail

A minute later, her baton vibrated with a beep, and Chat Noire glanced to see a notification from Ladyblue. She excitedly opened it to a message.

You texted back saying:

Ladyblue: play hard to get. ready. set . . .

You wouldn’t let me see you

Baffled, Chat Noire reread the text over and over. What was that supposed to mean? Was Ladyblue interested? Did she think she (Chat Noire) was messing around? She knew she was a jokester between the two, but she’s real when it comes to feelings.

Whatever it meant, it was clear that Ladyblue was not going to video call with her - at least for today.

Got so depressed by your test

Chat Noire sighed. That’s fine, she didn’t want to pressure her partner to the point of scaring her. Although she probably annoyed her with all of the voicemails. Chat Noire would gladly wait to see her lady, but that didn’t dismiss the depression that she felt at unanswered calls and the game Ladyblue set up.

Still I thought

Yet, a smile crept on her lips at the excitement of the game with Ladyblue, and she typed her response.

You’re the best

Chat Noire: u’re on >:P

‘Cause I’ve been so juvenile

That to take my time is just not my style

~~~

Come Wednesday, black coffee

After purifying the akuma, the victim offered them free coffee. Chat Noire happily agreed, while Ladyblue hesitated but agreed.

“You like black coffee?” Chat Noire asked her partner.

“Yeah, and you don’t?” she countered, raising a brow.

“Just because I look good in black doesn’t mean I like black coffee. I prefer flavor like myself,” Chat Noire teased proudly.

Ladyblue rolled her eyes, and Chat Noire laughed. Once they got their coffee and gave their thanks, the heroes left to drink in peace. They decided to sit on Big Ben, having a perfect view of their city.

Pure talking, clean touching

For hours, they talked and laughed. At some point, they discussed their double lives as being superheroes. While Jane was thrilled to have more freedom as Chat Noire, Ladyblue appeared anxious and concerned.

“I’m glad doing this to save London, but I can’t help but think I’m not the right one for this job,” Ladyblue confessed, staring down at the busy streets.

Chat Noire frowned and leaned back on her hands, gazing up at the sky.

“I get that. I doubt myself too sometimes. This may be bias but–”

Feeling bold, she placed a hand on Ladyblue’s. Startled, Ladyblue stared at their hands then at her with wide eyes.

“–I think you’re perfect for the job. Sure, we have flaws, but that’s what makes us human. I’ve never seen someone as smart, brave, and strong as you. I know we’ve only met and done this for three days, but it feels like a lifetime, and I can’t picture a better Ladyblue than you,” said Chat Noire sincerely.

Chat Noire wasn’t sure if it was the sun’s lighting, but she could’ve sworn she saw color on Ladyblue’s cheeks.

Oh, Wednesday, hump day

Ladyblue averted her eyes and stammered.

“I– um, thank you, Chat. I couldn’t have a better partner than you,” she said, facing Chat Noire again.

From the soft tone and her genuine eyes, Chat Noire knew she meant it and smiled. Then, to her astonishment, Ladyblue turned her hand over, grasped Chat Noire’s, and squeezed it gently. Chat Noire’s heart skipped a beat, and a silent gasp left her lips.

But we just held hands

“And I can’t picture a better Chat Noire,” Ladyblue whispered, giving her a small smile.

Chat Noire beamed and laughed.

“That’s a relief to know,” she teased.

Ladyblue giggled then gazed forward again.

You wouldn’t let me take you away for the day

As much as Chat Noire wanted to do more than hold hands, she was content with this for the day. Facing out, she too stared out at the city. About an hour later, Chat Noire decided to push her luck for the day.

“Are you up for hanging out more? Maybe go see a movie?” she asked.

Ladyblue chuckled and shook her head.

“Sorry, kitty, but I gotta stay. I have some things I need to finish,” she excused apologetically.

Chat Noire tried her best to hide her disappointment.

And I felt so juvenile

“Oh, that’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Good luck on your stuff,” she said.

Chat Noire then took Ladyblue’s hand, who was close to resisting until Chat Noire simply kissed her knuckles.

“Goodnight, milady,” she said, shooting her a wink.

Suppressing a smile, Ladyblue shook her head.

“Night, Chat Noire,” Ladyblue said.

Chat Noire smirked then jumped away. As she leaped from building to building, a part of her was feeling impatient with her and Ladyblue’s relationship (friends or more). She was clearly pushing it, but she didn’t know what else to do with these feelings – especially towards a girl.

The logical side of her informed Chat Noire that she’s taking this too fast, but the emotional, useless, romantic side of her wanted her to pursue this. Hell, she only knew her partner for three days, and Chat Noire was willing to do anything for her.

You gave an inch of time, and I took a mile

If Ladyblue wanted to just be friends, she would’ve said, right? Maybe she was interested in Chat Noire, but was too afraid to admit it or didn’t know it yet.

Arriving at her mansion, Chat Noire jumped through her bedroom window and landed quietly on her floor. She de-transformed into her normal clothes then walked over and face planted on her bed with a groan.

“You’re such a useless lesbian,” Plagg said bluntly, floating above her head.

“Shut up, Plagg,” Jane mumbled into her pillow, but Plagg ignored her.

“Psh, why love a complicated human when you have camembert!” Plagg said, throwing a piece of cheese up and into his mouth.

Jane flipped over onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

“She may be complicated, but she’s still amazing. I’m still not sure how we ended up getting these miraculous, but we’re meant to be. I can feel it,” she said thoughtfully.

Plagg rolled his eyes. “Yuck. You being all gushie is making me sick. If you need me, I’ll be in the cabinet with my love,” he said, stroking a piece of cheese then disappearing into a desk under the TV.

Jane grinned and shook her head then stared out her window at the moon as thoughts of Ladyblue swarmed her head.

I was so juvenile

‘Cause to take it slow is just not my style

~~~

Then Thursday, like Tuesday

Fed up with her family, Jane used Chat Noire as an excuse to flee her house. She roamed around London for a bit, helping citizens here and there, then ended up relaxing on top of a building.

Similar to Tuesday, Chat Noire called Ladyblue and left voicemails about her day. She probably shouldn't bother her, but Chat Noire found comfort doing this. She’s not sure why, but being able to talk to someone other than Plagg was relieving.

But unlike Tuesday, Ladybug never responded. This baffled Chat Noire. Was it something she did yesterday? Everything seemed fine . . .

Your “day off” from me

A loud crash came from behind, and Chat Noire turned to see a large robot stomping through the streets. It was about to hit another building until a yoyo stopped it, restraining its arm back. Chat Noire followed the line to see Ladyblue tugging on it.

Maybe that’s why Ladyblue hasn't responded. Whatever the reason was, Chat Noire had to put the issue aside as she sprinted to help her partner.

~~~

But Friday busy

Twice, Chat Noire tried to bring up Wednesday’s night event, but Ladyblue kept dodging it, using an akumatization or needing to hide before transforming as reasons to avoid the topic.

And Saturday too

Another victim saved, and Ladyblue and Chat Noire’s partnership appeared alright, but Jane could see through the mask (figuratively and literally) that Ladyblue was evading more moments with her. Jane’s heart broke the less Ladyblue interacted with her when they’re not fighting alongside each other.

Not wanting to deal with this game anymore, Jane made certain Ladyblue would talk to her the next day.

What’s up with you?

~~~

On Sunday, after a well fought battle with an akuma, Chat Noire caught Ladyblue before she left.

You don’t wanna kiss me

“Ladyblue, wait!”

You don’t wanna see me

Ladyblue froze and stared at her with apprehension.

You don’t wanna take me

“You’ve been avoiding me and I want to know why. I get you don’t wanna kiss me, but why don’t you want to see me? Or even be with me?” Chat Noire asked desperately. “Look, if it’s something I said or did on Wednesday, then I’m sorry. I know it seemed like a game and it’s only been a week now, but I really really like you. But if you don’t feel the same, you can tell me. It’s okay.”

So let me go

Chat Noire lowered her head and closed her eyes, waiting for the heartbreaking words. Instead, a gentle hand rested on her shoulder, prompting her to look up into kind eyes.

But you said:

“There’s things I know . . . you are cute, but juvenile,” Ladyblue said, booping her on the nose.

Then she placed her hand on Chat Noire’s cheek, who happily leaned into the touch.

“Don’t you know the greatest love takes the greatest while? So if you’re willing, take my hand and take the trial for just a mile and then another mile. Be patient for that one day.”

Before Chat Noire could blink, Ladyblue kissed her on the other cheek. When she pulled back, both faces were blushing. Ladyblue chuckled and looked at the sunset.

“Look, kitty, it’s Sunday,” she said, then glanced back at her. “Come with me, and I’ll make it worth your while. Maybe it’s not far away or coming down the aisle, but . . . I do wanna kiss you and try this out if you’re okay with going steady,” Ladyblue asked shyly.

But I wanna kiss you now

Chat Noire beamed. “Can I kiss you now?” she asked eagerly.

Oh . . .

Ladyblue giggled and nodded.

And kiss you

Chat Noire grinned and cupped her cheeks then connected their lips.

And kiss you

Ladyblue tasted like sweetener, and Chat Noire couldn’t get enough.

And kiss you

They broke away for air, but they could barely get some as they laughed at one another.

And kiss you

They then rested their foreheads against each other as they calmed down – goofily smiling.

And kiss you

“Is it too soon that I just want to kiss you?” Ladyblue asked in a hushed tone.

And kiss you

Chat Noire giggled. “We can do it as much as you want, milady,” she whispered.

And kiss you

Ladyblue chuckled then closed her eyes and kissed her again, which Chat Noire gleefully returned.

Till Monday

[hlizr50]

Revelations

Chapter 1: This is Wrong

Hawke eavesdrops on the Duke's lessons with Poppy and realizes what is happening within the walls of castle Teerman

Read on AO3

Casteel… Hawke… stared at the door as it clicked closed, the Maiden having entered the Duke’s office.

“Penellaphe, I am so incredibly disappointed in you.” Duke Teerman always sounded so haughty and condescending.

Something didn’t feel right.

“I’m sorry to have disappointed you. I –“

The Duke cut her off, “Do you even know what you have done that has disappointed me?”

Was this why she and Tawny had been so apprehensive of the Duke’s summons? A scolding? A dressing down? It couldn’t have been just that, considering how Penellaphe had frozen before the door.

He took up a position not too close to seem suspicious to the two men standing guard. No matter. He was Atlantian, and even though he leaned against the wall a few feet from the door he could hear every word spoken in that office. He didn’t know what he should expect.

“I don’t. But I’m sure whatever it is, I’m at fault. You are never disappointed in me without cause.” Her words were measured. Careful. And careful wasn’t really her style.

“You’re right. I wouldn’t be disappointed for no reason at all. But this time I find myself blindsided by what I have been told.”

Hawke had been her guard for barely a day, but he found it hard to believe that Penellaphe would have committed a crime so egregious to blindside the Duke. Although, if her escapade to the Red Pearl was any indication maybe she had.

“Remove your veil, Penellaphe. You do not want to test my patience.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just that we… we are not alone, and the Gods forbad me from showing my face.”

“The Gods will not find fault in today’s proceedings.”

They were not alone? His amber eyes narrowed slightly. Who else was there? Had he not experienced the meeting yesterday he would have also wondered why she was apparently hesitant to remove the veil. But he knew the Duke likely wanted to take the opportunity to comment on her scars.

“Lift your eyes.”

A pause.

“You grow more beautiful each time I see you.”  Hawke grimaced. His insides roiled at the thought of the Duke looking at her with those deep, empty eyes.

“Thank you, your Grace.”

The Duke made a cluck with his tongue. “Such a shame. What do you think Bran?”

It was Lord Brandole Mazeen, then. Gods above, what was he doing in there? His lust and depravity were well-known throughout Castle Teerman. The maids were often warned not to earn his attention, good or bad.

“As you said, such a shame.” The Lord answered.

“The other scars are easy to hide, but this? There will come a time where there will be no veil to hide this unfortunate flaw.”

How many years had Penellaphe been here? How many times had the Teermans and their lackeys taken an opportunity to cut her with those words?

“Do you know what that new guard of hers said? He said she was beautiful. Half of her is truly stunning... You look so much like your mother.”

Hawke had said that. He meant it.

“You knew her?” Penellaphe gasped.

“I did. She was… special. You do realize that the guard wouldn’t have said otherwise. Wouldn’t have spoken the truth. I suppose it’s some small blessing. The damage to your face could have been far worse.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have stayed. It was difficult to for him to keep his expression neutral as the Duke continued to berate her. So he kept his eyes down, studying the stone floor of the hallway. It had likely once been rough and uneven, but the years of scuffing boots had smoothed the cobbles to satin.

“You do have such pretty eyes… And a well-formed mouth. Most will find your body pleasing… For some men, those things will be enough.”

He didn’t like the way the Duke paused between his backhanded compliments. Was he looking at her? Touching her?

“Priestess Annalia came to see me this morning,” Duke Teerman paused, as if waiting for a response. “Do you not have anything to add?”

“No, I’m sorry. I don’t know what Priestess Annalia would have to say. I saw her last a week ago in the second floor parlor and all seemed fine.” Penellaphe sounded confused.

“I’m sure it did, since you only spent half an hour there before leaving unexpectedly. I was advised you didn’t once pick up your embroidery set, nor did you engage in any conversation with the priestesses.”

So… this was the crime? She hadn’t completed any of her needlework? Penellaphe had sounded confused, and Hawke had to admit that he was, as well. With all honesty and due respect (which was none, if he was being honest), who the fuck cared?

“My mind was occupied with my upcoming Rite. I must have been daydreaming.”

“I’m sure you’re very excited about the Rite, and if this had been just one situation I would have easily overlooked your poor conduct. But I’ve learned that you were just in the atrium.”

“Yes, I was. I didn’t know that I wasn’t supposed to be. I don’t go often, but –“ she was interrupted again.

“Spending time in the atrium is not the issue and you’re smart enough to know that. Don’t play coy with me. You were speaking with two of the ladies in wait. You know that is not allowed.”

She had barely spoken two sentences to them! Who had run so quickly to report her to the Duke for that? The ladies had been too busy trying to get Hawke’s attention. He grinned at that, recalling the spilled rhinestones and fainting young women. But Penellaphe, who was not to have any interaction with, well, anyone… she had been in the atrium before anyone was there. The ladies had chosen to sit at the same table. Was she just supposed to just stand up and leave?

“Do you have nothing to say?”

“Such a demure Maiden.” Lord Mazeen’s words dripped like acid against Hawke’s skin. He did not have to know the Lord well to know that he would get an inordinate amount of pleasure in killing him. He felt ill knowing that Penellaphe was alone in that room, with those two beasts.

“I’m sorry. I should have left when they entered, but I didn’t.” He didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone apologize so much in his life. What had happened to the woman from the Red Pearl? That Penellaphe was so full of heart and fire. The girl on the other side of that door was…

Defeated.

“And why not?” The Duke prodded.

“I was… curious. They were talking about the upcoming Rite.”

“I’m not surprised to hear that. You were always an active child with a curious mind that flicked from one thing to the next: something I’ve warned the Duchess you wouldn’t grow out of easily. Priestess Annalia has also informed me that she fears your relationship with your lady’s maid has become far too familiar.”

Good Gods, how many imaginary transgressions could there be? How was she not supposed to be familiar with someone who had literally been tasked to be at her side at all times?

“Tawny has been a wonderful lady’s maid, and if my kindness and gratefulness has been mistaken for anything else then I apologize.”

Hawke knew that had struck a nerve. Penellaphe and Tawny were close, and the Maiden was allowed so little in the way of… of anything that made life bearable.

“I know it may be hard to keep boundaries with someone you spend so much time with, but a Maiden does not seek intimacies of the heart or the mind with those who serve them. Not even those who are to become members of the court. You must never forget that you are not like them. You were chosen by the Gods at birth, and they are chosen at their Rite. You will never be equals. You will never be friends.”

He inwardly scoffed.

“I understand.”

“I don’t think you do. You were chosen at birth, Penellaphe. Only one other has ever been chosen by the Gods. It was why the Dark One sent the Craven after your family. It was why your parents were slaughtered. That hurts, doesn’t it? But it’s the truth. That should have been the only lesson you ever needed,” Duke Teerman had a talent for cutting words, Hawke noted. “But between your lack of awareness regarding overstepping boundaries, your lack of attention with Priestess Annalia, your blatant disregard today for what is expected of you, aaaaand the attitude you displayed yesterday toward me. What? You thought I wouldn’t address your behavior while we discussed Ryan’s replacement? You stared back at me as if you wished to do me physical harm.”

The Duke chuckled then. “The meeting would have ended vastly different if others had not been present, and we weren’t there to discuss Hawke replacing Ryan-“

“Rylan! His name is Rylan, not Ryan!”

There she was, that spirited woman that had so intrigued him.

“THERE it is! Not so demure now!” Lord Mazeen sounded… almost gleeful.

“You mean, his name was Rylan. And does it really matter? He was just a royal guard. He would have been honored that I even thought of him. Either way, you just proved that I must double my attempts to strengthen my commitment to make you more than ready for your Ascension. Apparently I’ve been too easy on you. Unfortunately, that means you require another lesson. Hopefully it will be your last, but somehow I doubt it.”

“Yes. Hopefully.”

Hawke sighed inwardly in relief. How long had been here listening to the Duke ramble on about imaginary transgressions and basic human interactions painted as crimes. They should be finished soon.

“I believe four lashes should suffice.”

He froze.

Lashes.

Hawke could barely breathe. This was no mere dressing down, no raised-voice scolding with some hurtful words.

“Are you sure that’s enough? I wouldn’t want you to feel as if you haven’t done enough.” Gods, Penellaphe’s fire roared to life at the worst possible moment.

“How does seven sound? I see that number agrees with you. What do you think, Bran?”

“I think that is sufficient.”

This was no “lesson”.

“You know where to go,” the Duke directed.

This was abuse.

“You’re not ready, Penellaphe. You should know better by this point.”

Hawke strained to hear. It was far too quiet. The Duke was waiting for something. Could he hear the soft rustle of fabric? His restraint was thinning by the second.

This was torture.

“This is for your own good. This is a necessary lesson, Penellaphe, to ensure that you take your preparations seriously and are committed to them, so you do not dishonor the Gods.”

This is wrong. This is wrong.

“Brace yourself, Penellaphe.”

He heard the faint whistle… then a crack… it had to be a cane that the Duke was using on her.

A cane. Sweet merciless, sleeping Gods.

Swoosh. CRACK.

Two. Was this the fitting punishment for not touching her embroidery set? For speaking a word to a lady in wait who needed to be put in her place?

Swoosh. CRACK.

Three. Was this the fitting punishment for daring to have a friend? For not cowering when the Duke had hoped to humiliate her the day before?

Swoosh. CRACK.

Four. His eyes were wide, but when he looked to the guards at the door they avoided his questioning glare, acting blissfully unaware.

This… this travesty…

It was as if…

As if this happened all the time.

Swoosh. CRACK

Five. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. He was back there… in Carsadonia. In his cage. Made to bleed. Made to feed. Forced to take and be taken.

Swoosh. CRACK.

Six. The Blood Queen took pleasure from his pain. For decades. He couldn’t understand how any living being could be so monstrous.

Swoosh. CRACK.

Seven.

He let out an unsteady breath. It was over.

Penellaphe hadn’t made a sound.

How?

“I truly hope, Penellaphe, that this lesson… sinks in.”

His rage was white hot behind his eyes. He had to keep them closed. The guards would have been… disturbed… if they saw how they glowed with his ire.

Duke Teerman had signed his death warrant. And it was not going to be quick and painless.

Breathe. You have to breathe. You have to get ahold of yourself. This is not the time and place.

Hawke took a few measured breaths, and his heart began to slow. He couldn’t wrap his mind around what he’d just witnessed.

The door clicked and his head whipped up, amber gaze falling on the veiled woman who gingerly pulled the door closed behind her. She looked up and saw him, and Hawke could see her entire body tense. He just stared at her, willing her to meet his gaze behind the veil. He could tell that she avoided it. Penellaphe then straightened slowly and did her best to walk toward him, past him, as if nothing had happened.

But it had.

Her breathing was labored and he could tell that every step she took caused her pain. He followed her down the hall, cursing to himself when the effort became too much for her and she started whimpering softly with each pace. They made it to the narrow spiral staircase that would lead them down to the main floor. He opened the door for her to enter, and she dared not look at him as she passed.

She was already attempting the first step, grunting with effort to lower her body down through clenched teeth, when he closed the door behind him.

“Penellaphe,” his voice was low. Cold. Raw.

She continued to work on the next step, acting oblivious to his call.

“Penellaphe.”

She stopped.

“How long?”

“What?” she tried to sound surprised, but he could only hear the pain lacing the word.

“How long. How long has the Duke been doing this to you?”

Silence. It hung heavy over him. He felt like he was being smothered, waiting for an answer that he knew would likely ruin him. He could hear her pain-laden breaths sawing in and out. It had taken such effort for her to go down two steps. He watched her shoulders rise and fall with a deep, calming breath.

“Since Ian returned to the Capitol.”

Gods, why weren’t they somewhere with something he could break? Blood red rage roared in his blood. Hawke could feel himself trembling.

“That’s… that’s been years,” he whispered.

“It has.”

And then she began struggling down the steps again. As if that were the end of the conversation.

It wasn’t. Not even fucking close.

He practically leapt the three steps down to stand in front of her. “Is that all you have to say? Poppy this is wrong. You know that, don’t you?”

“Don’t call me that. Only my friends call me that.”

“Am I not? Do your friends know about this? How have your friends helped you?” Hawke spat, clenching his quaking fists at his side. “From what I can tell, I’m the only person who seems to give a flying fuck about what just happened. Tell me how that doesn’t qualify me as your friend.”

“There’s nothing that can be done to help,” she whispered and turned her head to the side, suddenly finding the stone wall quite interesting. He uttered a curse and reached for the chains that held the veil on top of her head.

“Take this Gods-damned thing off,” he growled as he pulled it away. He couldn’t stand trying to speak with her without seeing into her eyes, seeing her face. She was a person. Her emotions and expressions mattered. But she barely even flinched, keeping her gaze fixed somewhere near his boots. Her face was flushed and her eyes lined silver.

“Look at me.” When she made no move he reached her hand to her. He lightly traced his fingers over her left cheek down to her jaw, pulling gently so her face was lifted to him. “Please, Penellaphe. Look at me.” Her emerald gaze met his, shining with pain and sorrow and shame.

“I… I used to try. I used to do everything I thought I could to fix whatever it is that I’d done that had disappointed him,” she blinked, allowing a couple stray tears fall. “But it was never enough. No matter what I did, no matter how demure I was, no matter the eggshells I walked on and the dedication I tried to show… I realized eventually that my dedication was never the point. It was never about what I did or didn’t do. It didn’t matter how hard I tried. He would find anything-“

“Like not doing your fucking cross-stitch?”

She sucked in a breath and pulled away from his fingers. “How much did you hear?” the fire-haired beauty clasped her hands in front of her heart. He held onto her gaze and her eyes roared at him with hurt.

“Everything.”

She shuddered and bowed her head. Her hands trembled as she brought them up to cover her face. Hawke could feel humiliation rolling from her in waves and saw the tension in her shoulders. She was weeping before him.

“He will find anything that could possibly be an offense. He’s punished me for walking too quickly and breathing too loudly. And I have come to realize that… he only does it because he wants to hurt and humiliate me. He knows that his words make me flinch and his touch make me want to peel the skin from my body. And he relishes that. And I hate that he has that kind of power over me.”

Hawke’s ire sharpened into something cooler, more calculating and thoughtful. He had come to Masadonia to kidnap and ransom the Maiden, a symbol to all of Solis. He’d come to send a message using their precious prize, a privileged brat that was no better than those soulless creatures who had raised her.

He took a measured breath and ran a hand over his face in realization.

She was... innocent. She was a pawn, a possession. She was a victim, kept in a cage just as he had been, albeit far more gilded. And even though there was an illusion of life and choice, she was guilted, berated, and beaten into submission.

And Gods, she was still brave and vivacious enough to risk the Duke’s ire. Reckless enough to step into a brothel and send all of Hawke’s expectations straight to hell.

There is nothing that can be done to help.

There was. He could take her away from this. He had planned to do that, in a way, but now? How could he deliver her back to the Ascended knowing that this is what her life would be? And how could he convince her of the truth? She was smart, and Hawke knew that she didn’t agree with everything the Ascended ordained. Her reactions at the council meeting had been proof of that.

He reached out to her again, taking her hands in his and pulling them away from her tear-streaked cheeks. He stroked his thumbs over her knuckles and spoke her name to draw her gaze.

“This is wrong. You hold no shame in this. He has done this to you, and that is evil and terrible and monstrous. Tell me you realize that, Penellaphe,” he urged. She nodded softly. He gave an encouraging quirk of his lips and continued. “He does these things to make you feel weak and powerless, and you are neither of those things. He knows that you are curious and full of life, and he is afraid that you will be able to see past his façade and into his own weakness if he cannot keep you squashed under his heel.”

Hawke let go of her hands and gingerly held her face between them, using his thumbs to wipe away any remaining dampness that fell there. He looked down for a moment, and then brought his eyes back up, a burning golden stare.

“I need you to make me a promise, Penellaphe. Can you do that?”

“A promise?” she whispered.

“Promise me. Promise me that you’ll trust your instincts. Question everything. You are fierce and intelligent, so think about what they do and what they say. Think about it… you are the most important person in the entire kingdom. They should be worshipping at your feet, not taking a cane to your back,” he was afraid he’d said too much; pushed too hard. Would she be suspicious? Would she balk at his request? Her gaze was green as springtime, and her eyes stared into his, trying to process what he was saying.

“Can you promise me that?”

The knight endured her gaze for a few tense moments, her face still in his palms. She closed her eyes after a sigh and placed her hands over his, dipping her chin.

“I promise, Hawke.”

Thank the Gods.

He pressed his lips to the crown of her head and the Maiden inhaled sharply. Chuckling, he let her go and reached down to the discarded veil.

“I will make you a promise, as well,” he extended his hand with the soft fabric. She moved to grab it and he clenched her hand with both of his. Startled, she looked to him again.

“He will never hurt you again.”

She smiled wistfully then, and he could read in her expression that, as much as she wanted that to be true, she didn’t believe that anyone had that power. Then she pulled the veil from his hand and attempted the next step in front of her.

It would take forever to make it down the stairs.

“I have an idea,” Hawke smirked. “I think it will help. But you have to trust me.”

“I… I don’t trust you. Not when you have that look in your eye,” she laughed lightly.

“Here, if I squat down can you climb on my back?” he turned around on the step in front of her. He knew he was still much taller than she was, even on a step below. “It may be painful to get there, but if you can wrap your arms around my shoulders and your legs around my waist we could make it down much more quickly. And hopefully without too much strain on your back.”

Hawke felt a hand on her shoulder, but she hesitated. “That would be… incredibly inappropriate. What if someone sees?”

“You’re hurt. If someone opens one of the doors we’ll hear it and have enough time for me to set you down and throw that Gods-forsaken sheet over your head,” he scoffed over her shoulder. “Now wrap your arms around my neck, and I’ll grab your legs when I stand up.”

He was surprised when she didn’t argue and her forearms crossed in front of him.

“Ready?” He asked, knowing the first time he lifted her up would probably cause her some pain.

“Yes.” Her grip tightened around him. She gasped into his shoulder as he stood straight, putting his hands under her thighs. He waited a moment, listening for her breath to even out as she adjusted to the soreness.

“I’m sorry. Are you alright?” Hawke gave her legs a light squeeze. She nodded against his shoulder, and he started gingerly making his way down the stairs. He thanked the Gods that he was Atlantian, strong and light on his feet. He knew he could practically glide down without causing her any additional discomfort.

They reached the bottom landing and he gently set her down, heart constricting when he saw her wince as she slowly lowered her arms to her sides.

“Here,” he grabbed the veil from her hand and placed it over her head. He studied the tiny chains that were supposed to hold it in place, and he had to admit that he wasn’t sure what to do with those. A giggle escaped from behind the veil.

“Give me that,” she grabbed the chains. “It’s not far to my room. We should be able to make it there without it falling off.”

Hawke grinned and pulled open the door. “After you, Milady.”

They walked down the corridor slowly and silently. He would look down at her from time to time, wondering how she could possibly have the strength to be so spirited and brave knowing the consequences that could await her. What would the Duke do if he’d known about her little trip to the Red Pearl? He frowned to himself and looked forward. That had been reckless, but he understood her need for life. For freedom. She had wanted to experience things that everyone else in the world took for granted. They said she was Chosen, privileged. But she was also alone.

Well, no she wasn’t. Not anymore.

As they stopped in front of her door he turned to her. “Are you alright? Is there anything you need?”

“No,” she shook her head. “Tawny gets an ointment from the healer. It will help, but I may not be… I may stay in my room for a while. But I heal pretty quickly, and this isn’t the worst I’ve had…”

The anger roiled through him as she trailed off. Of course it wasn’t. Of course seven lashes for not touching her embroidery set and her attitude hadn’t been the worst that he’d done to her.

“I… he…” he swallowed and took two deep breaths. “I’m going to calm myself so I don’t do anything reckless about what you just said.”

“I’m sorry,” she answered quietly.

“Don’t you dare apologize, Penellaphe. None of this is your fault. I am simply… staggered by his cruelty,” he managed a soft smile that he knew didn’t reach his eyes. “Get some rest.” Hawke reached down and squeezed her hand before he opened the door and motioned for her to go in. He began to close the door behind her when she stopped.

“Hawke?”

“Yes?” he answered, looking for her eyes behind the veil.

“You can… please, call me Poppy,” she gave a shy grin and shuffled into the room. He pushed the door closed behind her and leaned his forehead against the wood.

He was shaking.

Breathe, Hawke. Breathe.

His ragged breaths seethed out from between his teeth. In for four counts, out for four. In… out… in… out...

After what seemed like ages of breathing exercises he pushed away from the door and stalked down the hall.

He needed to think. And talk to Kieran. He would be none-too-thrilled at the change of plans.

But plans would change.

Duke Teerman would die.

They would have to find another way to get his brother back.

Because nobody was going to hurt Poppy again.

[vodkassassin]

Hellooooo I heard that you are taking prompts!! May I propose crossdressing SQH? For the sect's mission or sth like that =))) and he pulls a very convincing disguise, with his knowledge as an author. Bonus if he can dance/sing/play instruments cuz I know he has it in him, being an overachiever he is (sorry for the rambling I just. Rly love him)

Don’t apologize! I love SQH too, so feel free to ramble away. My inbox is always open, even if you just want to gush about Shang Qinghua!

—

“Everything is set up correctly?” Yue Qingyuan frets.

And it really is fretting, the way that the man hovers over the group of peak lords that have gathered around the meeting table, almost like a hungry hummingbird scoping out its next meal. The man is normally much more composed than this, a bastion of calm amidst any crisis, and it’s making everyone else high strung as well, now that he’s slipped.

“For the last time, Sect Leader,” Shen Qingqiu grouses tiredly from where he sits, as slouched as he’ll ever get, fan open and so close to his face that it’s pressed against his cheek and causing his words to slur slightly. “We have gone over every possible contingency. Shang-shidi will be as safe as if he is still within our very own sect.”

“Yes, I know,” Yue Qingyuan murmurs, still gazing concernedly down at the multiple shafts of papers that they’ve got spread out across the entirety of the table. There’s a crease in between his brows, and Shen Qingqiu doesn’t really blame the man for being so worried, not really.

It’s a big operation, what they’ve got going on here. Complex, precarious, and it’s so incredibly important that they get every minute detail correct in their handling of the situation, or all of Shang Qinghua’s hard work, years worth of it, will go down the drain faster than someone can snap their fingers.

Despite carrying himself with the calm distance of an immortal master, leader of one of the greatest sects in all of China, Yue Qingyuan is the most ardent Big Brother Type that Shen Yuan has ever met in either of his lives. The man obviously cares about each and every one of his martial siblings, and it’s very apparent in the way that he gets anxious like this whenever one of them is put into a dangerous situation.

Given what the situation entails — and what exactly they’re dealing with here — Shen Qingqiu definitely doesn’t blame him for his hovering.

But, by the heavens, he’s ready to grab him by the shoulders and force him into a chair. He is fully prepared to sit on the man himself just to get Yue Qingyuan to be still for five seconds.

“Shang Qinghua is not new to work like this,” Mu Qingfang says soothingly. His calming demeanor is only broken by the way the doctor reaches out a second later to redundantly adjust the placement of one of the papers that litter the table. A nervous tick. “Out of us all, it’s him who has the highest chance of success. That’s why we chose him.”

“I know,” Yue Qingyuan says again, more firmly this time. He folds his hands behind his back and stands straight, gazing down at the table between them all. “However, given the matter at hand, your shixiong believes it prudent to ensure that every possible avenue of failure be closely examined.”

“More than we already have?” Ju Qingsong complains. He’s slumped entirely over the table, and has been for the last two hours. “Zhangmen-shixiong, this lord thinks that you’re really being a mother hen, here. Shang-shixiong’s done this sort of thing before. He’ll be fine!”

“It’s Shang-shijie now, Qingsong,” Qi Qingqi slyly announces, pulling the door to the meeting room open with a flourish. “And look, our martial sister! She’s so pretty, isn’t she?”

“I still don’t see why it couldn’t have been you doing this,” Shang Qinghua grouches as he troops into the room behind her. “You’ve done stuff like this before, as much as I have, and you’re actually a girl.”

Shen Qingqiu turns away from the table, a word of good-nature’s ribbing ready at the top of his tongue, but he finds that he can’t deploy it. Not when his bro is standing right there and looking like a real, dainty and dignified young maiden of a noble, xianxia family.

The robes are what’s most shocking, at first, like a full frontal assault to what Shen Qingqiu has become used to in regards to his friend. Shang Qinghua prefers dark blues, indigos, and blacks, all in a durable and solid weave — so, to see him decked out in flowing silks of soft pastels and light trims and embroidery, is certainly a shock to the senses.

His hair is next on the list of differences, usually pinned up entirely in braids and a bun held together with sharp silver needles. Today, half of it falls down his back in a gentle wave, while the top half of it is carefully twisted up into a delicate looking hair ornament that sparkles subtly in the light of the night pearls that decorate the meeting hall’s ceiling.

All of this, paired with the tasteful arrangement of jewelry — earrings that accentuate his jaw in a way that makes it appear a softer line than it actually is, artful golden clasps around the crown of his head, with gemmed beads that hang on carefully positioned wires to frame the fall of his hair and make it look like a tumbling waterfall of golden waters — Shang Qinghua makes for a beautiful young mistress.

“Damn, bro,” he says, unable to stop himself.

Shang Qinghua turns and raises an eyebrow at him, and all Shen Qingqiu finds himself able to do is shoot his friend a thumbs up.

“Damn is right,” Ju Qingsong gives a low whistle, pushing himself up from the table. Both of his eyebrows have risen up to meet his hairline, and a large grin adorns his face. “Shang-shijie! You’re breathtaking! Isn’t she gorgeous, Qingsheng?”

Rong Qingsheng doesn’t answer the man. He’s too busy staring at Shang Qinghua with silent and intense eyes. Knowing what he does of the lord of the agricultural peak, Shen Qingqiu figures he’s busy cataloguing every minute detail of their martial brother’s — er, sister’s — new look.

Honestly, he doesn’t blame him at all. Shang Qinghua makes for a show-stopping beauty.

Seriously, what the hell?

“Didn’t I do such a good job?” Qi Qingqi preens. She reaches over and, with careful fingers, tucks a stray strand of hair behind Shang Qinghua’s ear.

The man ducks his head, slowly in mindfulness of his intricate up-do, but Shen Qingqiu is too busy having heart palpitations to make fun of him for it. From the way that his fellow martial brothers’ eyes have all widened imperceptibly, they’re having similar struggles.

Liu Qingge stands up from the table rather abruptly.

“Qi-shijie needs to go instead,” he demands, a scowl curving his brows downward.

Shang Qinghua lets out an exasperated puff of air and tilts his head back, chin rising up almost stubbornly, and it’s likely because he’s still not used to the added weight of the hair ornaments. What it does, though, is expose the curve of his neck, and Shen Qingqiu turns away from the sight of his bro entirely just to shoot their sect leader a look of trepidation. The man himself seems like his earlier anxieties have doubled.

“That’s what I said earlier!” Shang Qinghua complains, crossing his arms over his chest. He’s pouting, and oh god it makes the picture of him look all the more delicate. Has Airplane even seen himself in a mirror yet?! He needs to stop with the cute actions!

“I said ‘Qi-shimei is actually a girl! Like, we have an actual female peak lord, who doesn’t have to crossdress in order to sneak into the human trafficking ring to find their financial books!’” Shang Qinghua re-enacts, pout becoming even more pronounced. Shen Qingqiu is pretty sure that Liu Qingge’s grip on the table has just cracked the wood. “And you all were like, ‘But Shang Qinghua! You have more undercover experience!’ And I was like, ‘That’s bullshit!’ because you all know that Qi Qingqi’s peak actually specializes in espionage! Like, why is it always me that has to go undercover?! I’m An Ding! I deal with information networks, not field work!”

“Except, you do deal in fieldwork,” Mu Qingfang points out, gently. He sounds like someone has punched him in the gut. “Very often, in fact…. Zhangmen-shixiong, I-I don’t think—”

“That’s because you guys always make me go!” Shang Qinghua interrupts him, clearly needing to complain a bit more. “I mean, there are plenty of times I do it myself, sure, but that’s just because I know the job will be done right that way! But all the other times! Like now! Seriously, you guys, Qi Qingi is right there!”

“And we definitely should have listened to you, you’re right,” Shen Qingqiu says weakly, waving his fam in front of his face in the hopes that it’ll help with the faint flush he can feel assaulting his cheeks.

“It’s too late for second guessing,” Qi Qingqi says flippantly, shaking her loose hair behind her shoulders. “If we change things up now, the entire operation will have to be reworked from the ground up, and that’s just not possible with the time frame we have. If we want to take advantage of the opening we’ve been given to take down this trafficking ring, then we must proceed as planned.”

“I hate that I have to agree with you,” Shang Qinghua grumbles.

He takes a step forward, toward the table, and then stops, staring at his own chair with a complicated expression on his face. After a few moments, he sighs and looks up.

“All these layers are even more complicated than my peak lord formal attire,” he says, forlorn. “I… I have no idea how to sit down in them…. Shijie, help.”

Qi Qingqi cackles, loudly, before going forward and pulling the man’s chair out for him. She waves her hand at the seat and instructs Shang Qinghua on how to adjust his robes as he sits, and then goes on to comment that they will have to practice so that Shang Qinghua will be able to make the motions look flawless and befitting of the young noble lady that he will be impersonating.

None of the other peak lords move. They’re too busy looking anywhere but at the two shijie currently chatting away on the other side of the table. Well, Rong Qingsheng is studying them rather carefully, but that’s a given. Ju Qingsong is watching his friend with an amused (if wistful) expression, himself.

Shen Qingqiu shuts his fan with a flick of his wrist and lays his head down on the table, pillowing his eyes into his crossed forearms.

He supposes that he will have to resign himself to the unfortunate fate of actually worrying about his best friend while the other is gone, for the entirety of the mission. Airplane is just too pretty for his own good! It’s Shen Yuan’s job, as his bro, to be absolutely and wholeheartedly concerned about what might happen to him out there, especially in the situation he will be descending into.

Man, he really relates to Yue Qingyuan, now. Had the sect leader known just how pretty Shang Qinghua would be? Is that why he’d been so visibly apprehensive even from the beginning?

Shen Qingqiu thinks he might need a drink. He glances across the table, at Shui Qingyu, and finds that the brewery peak lord appears to be thinking the same. Their eyes meet, their expressions of dread nearly identical, and they share a nod.

Later tonight, they’re going to get drunk.

[philthepegacornfics]

Stained Hearts

Michael Clifford x Reader

Summary: What happens when Michael tells his FWB he loves her?

Trigger Warnings: Swearing, implied sex, mentions of past abuse, angst

Word Count: 6k

A/N: @galcalirwin​ and I wrote this together! What inspired it was a conversation we had about the songs “i love you” by Billie Eilish and “Why Won’t You Love Me?” by 5 Seconds of Summer.

~Michael’s POV~

“Fuck!” I giggled, rolling onto my back, tucking my arms under my head.

“That good, huh?” she giggled with me, snuggling into my side.

“Always,” I murmured, moving my hand to run my fingers through her hair. “Gonna miss you when I’m gone.”

“You fuckin’ better.”

“I always do, don’t I?”

“Yeah, you’re pretty good at that. Pretty good fuck, too,” she winked before kissing at my jawline.

I laughed loudly, hooking my fingers under her chin and bringing her up for a proper kiss.  “Fuck, I love you,” I breathed, before going in for another kiss.

She pushed against me, rolling out of bed, her feet hitting the floor. She didn’t say a word as she quickly shimmied into her jeans, throwing her shirt on over her head as she headed for the door, her things gathered up in her arms.

“(Y/n)?” I asked in confusion while my mind caught up with the last 30 seconds. Oh, shit… “(Y/n)!” I scrambled to my feet but the front door was already slamming shut. I slumped back down on the bed. “Fuck!”

~Y/N’s POV~

Panic consumed me as I booked it out the door and drove home. He said those words. Words that we agreed to never say. Friends with benefits. That’s all we were. Nothing more.

My heart was racing. What the hell did I do for this to happen?

“Maybe he was joking?” I said aloud, questioning everything as I entered the threshold to my home.

No, if he was joking he would’ve laughed his way through saying it. He can never tell a joke with a straight face.

“Fuck!” I yelled, throwing my purse across the room. The items in it spilled onto the floor where it landed.

Tears streaming down my face, I ran into my room and locked the door behind me. Michael has a key to my place and the last thing I wanted was to see him. He ruined everything!

Not bothering to change, I climbed into my bed. My thoughts were racing a million miles an hour. The last time this happened, things ended badly. Very badly.

“I love you,” he said when I caught him in bed with another woman.

“I love you,” he would claim every time he beat me when I tried to leave.

“I love you!” his voice echoed in my head for years to come.

~Michael’s POV~

You're still coming in a few weeks, right?

I stared at the message, waiting for a reply that never came. I sighed, swiping my thumb up my screen to hit the airplane icon on my phone before clicking it shut. I sighed again as I leaned my head against the glass of the plane’s window. “Fuck…” I muttered. Then I scoffed at myself. Really Mike? Fuck? That’s the only thing you’ve been saying for the last 6 hours.

“Jesus, who died?” Ashton’s voice asked me.

I opened my eyes that I hadn’t realized I had closed to peer back at the man frowning at me. He may have been frowning, but his hazel eyes were lit with humor. “I fucked up, Ash. I said the words we promised to never say.”

“Oh, shit…” The humor vanished as he took a seat across me from, resting a hand comfortingly on my knee. “Did you at least mean them?”

I swatted his hand off of me. “Of course I fuckin’ meant them!”

He raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, fuck. Well, what’s the problem then exactly?”

“I wasn’t supposed to! That was the deal. Just sex. Keep the loneliness controllable. No real emotions. And I fucked it up!”

“Okay, back up. What exactly happened that made you say it in the first place?”

“Well, we had sex.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“And I dunno. We were just lying there like we always do. Joking with each other about how I better miss her and shit. And then, I dunno… it just sorta slipped.”

“Sorta slipped? How do those words just sorta slip?”

“Fuck if I know. But she just… she feels so good in my arms, mate. And I guess for a second I just wanted to pretend what it would be like if things were different. If I could have all of her.”

“So you didn’t mean it, then?”

“No, I did. That’s the problem. Like I know I should apologize, but I can’t. Because I don’t know how to apologize for saying something I meant to say. Like ‘whoops, sorry I let you in on how I’ve been feeling, my bad, you weren’t supposed to know’? I don’t know what to do, Ash. All I know is that I fucked up probably the closest thing I’ve ever had to the real thing. Three stupid fuckin’ words! If I ever met him, I swear I’ll kill him.”

“Not if she gets to him first, you won’t,” he chuckled. “Look, mate, and I know it’s easier said than done, but just try and move past it. Maybe this’ll all blow over by the time we head back home.”

“She’s gonna be with us in a month,” I reminded him.

“Shit… well, who knows what’ll happen a month from now.”

“Ash?”

“Yeah, Mike?”

“I appreciate all this,” I gestured about the man. “But, can I be left alone now?”

“Sure thing, buddy.” He patted at my leg as he got up and went over to bother Calum and Luke.

I clicked my phone, my home screen lighting up to a picture of her smiling brightly at me.

“We’ll never be lonely, right?” 

“Never.”

Course. Wouldn’t miss it.

I smiled at the notification. Maybe Ashton was right. Maybe this could blow over if either of us could pretend it never happened in the first place.

The plane rumbled and I turned my attention to the window, watching as the ground rushed by, then grew smaller and smaller as we climbed higher and higher. I felt a tear start to roll down my cheek, so I hurriedly wiped at my face, sniffing back even more. Or maybe we could just pretend she loved me too.

~Y/N’s POV~

In front of me were dark chocolate double doors. From the other side I could hear an orchestra playing a beautiful melody. I looked down at my hands to see myself holding a bouquet of cream coloured roses. 

I then notice that I’m wearing a beautiful dress. The top is white with intricate lace and pearl beading that overlap onto the skirt. The skirt was long and cream coloured to match the roses.

My cheeks started hurting because of how much I was smiling. Suddenly the band began playing louder, causing my heart to accelerate. The double doors opened slowly to reveal a beautiful ballroom that was decorated from top to bottom in whites and creams. Rows of chairs sat on both sides of the room creating an aisle for me to walk down.

I looked up to see Michael standing at the end of the aisle waiting. He hadn’t seen me yet. I start walking faster. He’s wearing a white tuxedo. His hair is combed, but still slightly messy as it always is. He turns and sees me. A smile breaks across his face as tears well up in his eyes. It takes everything in me to not drop the bouquet and run to him.

As I reach him, he steps forward and takes my arm. Walking me the last couple of steps. I turn and face him, basking in his presence. In the corner of my eye, I see a man I assume is a priest. He’s talking, but I don’t pay any attention. I was too busy studying Michael. And Michael was studying me back with bright green eyes.

“I love you,” he mouthed.

“I love you too,” I mouthed back.

I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing on my nightstand. I let out a groan as I rolled over to see who could be calling me at this ungodly hour. The screen was lit up with my best friend’s face. I let out a heavy sigh before answering.

“What’s up?” I grumbled.

“(Y/n)!” She squealed into the phone.

“Jesus Christ, woman. What do you want?!” I snapped.

“Well good morning to you too,” she giggled.

“Rosa, it is,” I pull my phone away to look at the time, “Holy shit, it is five in the goddamn morning. What do you want?”

“Well, I have news and I couldn’t wait anymore to tell you.”

“And that is?”

“I’m engaged!” she cheered into the phone.

Hurt panged into my chest as my dream flooded back to me. I stared blankly at the wall, not saying anything to Rosa about her news. My thoughts were racing. I could feel tears well up in my eyes.

“(Y/n)?” Rosa called out, bringing me back to the moment.

“Sorry, I zoned out for a second.”

“What’s wrong?” she sighed.

“Nothing, I’m just tired,” I mumbled.

“No because if I told you this two weeks ago, you would’ve been screaming. It’s Michael, isn’t it?”

“I can’t get him out of my head,” I sobbed as I continued to tell her about my dream.

“Honey, you need to talk to him.”

“Rosa, I ran. There’s nothing to say!”

“He’ll forgive you if you just talk to him. You’re still going on part of the tour, yeah?”

“Yeah. He asked me if I still planned on it, and I told him yes.”

“See! He wants you there. Just talk to him.”

“I don’t want to,” I admitted to her.

“Avoiding this isn’t going to solve anything,” she said sympathetically.

“You’re right.”

“I know that, Girl! Now, I’m going to let you go back to sleep. Dream about my wedding for me, okay?”

“Okay.”

With that we hung up. Before laying back down to sleep, I decided to check the notifications on my phone. I had three missed calls from two in the morning. All from Michael. I quickly made a mental note to text him in the morning before I left for work.

I sighed as I sat my purse on the kitchen counter after returning home from work. It had been another long day. It didn’t help that that was the night I was going to be flying out to see Michael.

“Leave it to me to wait until the last minute to pack,” I muttered to myself as I headed to the bedroom. Once I got to the door, I hovered my hand above the doorknob. Do I really want to go?

I shook the thought of staying here out of my head. You promised Michael that you’d go.

Without waiting another moment, I quickly opened the door and made my way in. Grabbing my suitcase, I shoved as much clothes as I could fit in it. I was going to be spending the rest of their tour with them, so I needed as many outfits as I could get. I then took a backpack and filled it with the rest of my essentials. As I packed, I let my mind wander. Mostly in thoughts about Michael and trying to figure out what I was going to say to him.

“Shit, I forgot to text Michael about him calling me!” I groaned. “He probably thinks that I hate him.”

A sudden knock at my front door pulled me away from my thoughts. I made my way to it and opened it to find Rosa on the other side.

“Why didn’t you just let yourself in?” I asked.

“With you being so stuck in your head, I didn’t want to scare you,” she shrugged.

“Well thanks for that. My stuff is in my room, let me go grab it.”

After grabbing my things, we took a silent trek to her car. It wasn’t until she started driving that Rosa spoke again.

“Did you talk to him?” she asked.

“No, I forgot…”

“How do you forget something like that?”

“He called me at two in the morning last night. I didn’t hear. I told myself I’d text him before going to work, but I woke up late. And I just kinda forgot,” I explained.

The rest of the car ride was silent until we got to the airport. I thanked her for giving me a ride and we made small talk until I had to go through security. Right before I went though, I took a picture with her and made an Instagram post. I then made my way to the gate and boarded the plane. Michael was always nice enough to buy me a first class seat.

After the flight had taken off, I motioned for the stewardess and asked her to get me wine. To keep the wine coming. My plan was to get drunk enough to pass out. I couldn’t be alone with my thoughts any more. They were all about Michael and what I may or may not feel for him. One thing I knew for sure though, was that I missed him. My body yearned to be held the way he holds me.

When I was half way through my second glass, the person next to me decided to make small talk, “Going to be up all night?” 

“Not the plan,” I gestured to my glass. “But, red eyes tend to do that to you.”

“Where are you headed?”

“Just seeing some friends. What about you?”

“I’m going home.”

“That’s nice,” I said before finishing my glass. “I wish we never learned to fly.”

“Fear of flying?” they laughed.

“Fear of what’s to come when we land,” I gave them a tight lipped smile before turning in my seat to end the conversation.

I made my way through the airport begrudgingly until I heard Michael shouting my name. When I spotted him, he was waving his arms in the air to further get my attention. A smile spread across my face at seeing him act like his goofy self. I quickly made my way over to them excited to see him, but as I got closer, my steps felt heavier. Every instinct in my body was telling me to turn away and run.

“Hey!” Michael said, pulling me into a hug the moment I got close. I returned his hug as quickly as I could. Not squeezing hard like I normally do to try and get it over with.

“Hey,” I mumbled.

As we let go, I saw Ashton walk up. An escape! I smiled at him.

“Hey, Ash!” I pulled him into one of my signature hugs.

“Hey, love. How was your flight?” he asked me as we pulled apart.

“Oh, it was great!” I lied. I quickly told him stories of previous flights I had. I didn’t want to admit that I spent most of it drunk and crying.

~Michael’s POV~

“Dude, would you relax?” Ashton scolded, looking at my leg that kept jostling his.

“Shit, sorry,” I mumbled, pressing my palm flat against my leg to keep it from bouncing, but my other leg started it back up again.

“Jesus, you’re a fuckin’ mess, Mike…”

“Well, she hasn’t answered like any of my texts.”

“Did you call her?”

“Yeah, and she didn’t answer. I mean, I realized after that I had called her at like 2 in the morning, but still.”

“Hey, Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re not hanging out outside an airport just for fun, are we? Like, (Y/n) got on the plane?”

I nodded. “Yeah. She made a post about catching her flight. I just don’t get why she can tell me that she’s still coming and then fuckin’ ignore me. Like I know she’s coming out to be with all of us and shit, but…”

“But we all know who she really comes for, and if she’s been ignoring you, then why is she bothering?” Ashton supplied.

“Exactly…”

“Well… maybe whatever she wants to say, she wants to wait to say it in person.”

I sighed, hoping he was right. “Shit, I see her!” I scrambled out of the car. “(Y/n)!” I shouted, waving my arms over my head to get her attention.

Her head lifted at the sound of my voice and she quickened her pace.

“Hey!” I smiled, pulling her in for a hug the moment she was close.

Her arms wrapped limply around my shoulders. “Hey…” she mumbled.

I felt myself deflate as I let her go. I bit my tongue when she noticed Ashton, perking right up. “Hey, Ash!” she beamed, giving him the hug that held all the warmth in the world.

“Hey, love. How was your flight?”

“Oh, it was great!” She started prattling off every detail of her travel, which sounded more like a mixture of other stories she had told us. I paid special care to pick up on any new details, wondering why she was hiding the truth of her most recent flight experience as Ashton and I took her bags and placed them in the trunk before we all climbed back in the car. 

When her leg pressed up against mine, I was willing to believe that she was just nervous about being around me given everything. But when I rested my hand on top of hers, she not only moved her hand away, but crossed her leg, shifting in her seat to give Ashton her full attention and effectively shutting me out.

“Mate? Mike? Michael!” Ashton shouted in my ear.

I flinched away, swatting at him like I would an annoying fly. “Fuck! What?!”

“You’ve been sulking all night. The last three days, really.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious…”

“Have you talked to her?”

“She doesn’t wanna talk to me, Ash.”

“How do you know that? She’s here, isn’t she?”

“Because I just do, alright?!” I snapped, slamming the beer bottle I’d been spinning in my palm down on the table and rising to my feet. “You think you know everything, but you don’t! You don’t know her! I do! And she doesn’t wanna fuckin’ talk to me because she fuckin’ hates me! Because the last guy who told her he loved her was a fuckin’ liar and that’s all she knows! All she knows to associate with those words is hate! And since I’m the one who said ‘em, guess who’s on the receiving end of that hatred? Me! Can’t you see that I’m losing a whole lot more than just some girl?! So, yeah! Sorry if my sulking is bringing you down, but I think I’m entitled to sulk when my world is fuckin’ fallin apart!” I knew people were turning their attention to watch me scream at Ashton, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the tears streaming down my face either. All I cared about was the pain in my chest threatening to break me wide open. Hell, if I had just yelled at Ashton in public, maybe I already had.

To Ashton’s credit, he just stood there, letting me go off. “Are you done?” he asked, his voice terrifyingly calm as I stood in front of him, my chest heaving.

“Yeah,” I answered, keeping my voice low as I felt the shame wash over me. Ashton was only looking out for me, and I knew that. “Sorry for yelling…”

His hand clapped on my shoulder. “Aw, it’s alright, buddy. C’mon, I’ll round everyone up and we’ll head back to the hotel.”

I nodded, watching him turn to leave me at the table. “Hey, Ash?” I called out.

“Hmm?” he asked, turning back around.

“Thanks. For listening and stuff. I know I’m getting on everyone’s nerves.”

“You’re not getting on anyone's nerves, Mike. You’re just going through it. It’ll be okay, I promise.”

I chuckled a little, shaking my head. “Well, forgive me if I don’t hold my breath.”

~Y/N POV~

“I’m going to get another drink,” I told Calum and Luke before standing up from our table and heading towards the bar.

I only took a few steps when I suddenly heard Michael yelling. I frowned and took a few more steps to get closer to hear better.

“You don’t know her! I do! And she doesn’t wanna fuckin’ talk to me because she fuckin’ hates me!” he snaps.

Is he talking about me? I take a few more steps until he’s in sight. In front of him, I see Ashton whose jaw is set as he just let’s Michael continue to yell at him.

“Because the last guy who told her he loved her was a fuckin’ liar and that’s all she knows! All she knows to associate with those words is hate! And since I’m the one who said ‘em, guess who’s on the receiving end of that hatred? Me!”

He’s definitely talking about me…

“Can’t you see that I’m losing a whole lot more than just some girl?! So, yeah! Sorry if my sulking is bringing you down, but I think I’m entitled to sulk when my world is fuckin’ fallin apart!” he finished. His chest was heaving as tears trailed down his face.

My heart felt like it was ripped in half. Tears started rolling down my own face. I turned on my heel and ran out to the patio of the bar. I didn’t want to become part of the scene that Michael just created. The air outside was nice and cool. I tried taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down, but they ended up more like hiccups. I leaned over the railing, feeling sick to my stomach.

“(Y/n)?” Ashton’s voice called out for me after a few minutes.

I turned back to look at him and the frown he was wearing deepend in concern as he walked up to me. I leaned over the railing again.

He started rubbing my back and asked, “Are you okay?”

“No!” I cried. Tears started falling faster.

“What’s wrong?” he pulled me into a hug. I buried my head into his shoulders and cried on his shirt. He continued rubbing my back as he held me.

“I don’t know what to do!”

“Are you talking about Michael?”

I nodded my head and Ashton let out a heavy sigh, “You need to talk to him.”

“I can’t!”

He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me out an arms length away. With his hands still on my shoulders, he looked me in the eyes, “You have to.”

“I know,” I sniffled, wiping my eyes. “I know I have to, but I’m just so scared.”

“Why are you scared?”

“I hurt him, Ash. I hurt him bad. I don’t know how he’d ever forgive me.”

“He will-”

“Let’s say he does. Then what? He thinks I hate him. He’s always going to wonder if I do or not. Which I don’t. I could never hate him. When I’m with him, it’s like nothing else in the world matters. My heart races and I get butterflies in my stomach, yet I’m so happy and comfortable at the same time. I like him, Ash. I like him so much it hurts. It’s killed me not being close to him this past month. I want him in my life. I can’t imagine a future without him! I even had a dream that I married him! And that scares me. What if he doesn’t want the same thing? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I can never differentiate between him and my ex?” I cried.

“Have you ever thought about the fact that he’s probably just as scared as you?” Ashton asked. “He cares about you a lot, (Y/n). You’ve known Michael for years! He’s not like your ex, and I know that you know that.”

“Michael’s the first man I trusted after him…”

“Just talk to him.”

“I don’t know if I can,” I whispered.

He let out another sigh, “Come on, everyone is waiting for us. We’re going back to the hotel.”

~Michael’s POV~

I ducked into the bathroom as Ashton went to round everyone up. I gripped the sink as I peered at myself in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and the tears I had shed had left track marks down my cheeks. I splashed water in my face to try to clear some of it up, hoping to pass for drunk rather than someone who had just sob-screamed at his friend in a public space. A feat that probably would work out better if I had actually gotten drunk. But I’d been scared to have anything beyond a single beer because I was afraid of how I would feel in a drunk state. I was already drowning sober, I didn’t want to risk hurting more than I already did, or confessing more things I was better off not confessing. 

I gave myself one good last stare before I threw on my sweatshirt, pulling up the hood to hide more of my face.

I found Calum and Luke towards the front of the bar, waiting expectantly. “Where’s everyone else?” I asked.

“Ash is getting (Y/n) from outside,” Calum answered. “You alright?”

“Yeah, ‘m fine.”

Calum and Luke shared a look, before shaking their heads. “No, you’re not. But, whatever it is, you and (Y/n) will figure it out. You’ve been friends for too long to not bounce back from this,” Luke told me.

“I hope you’re right…” I sighed. Unfortunately, I had the sinking feeling that the conversation that would need to happen for me and (Y/n) to “bounce back” wasn’t one with a happy ending. Sure, the regression to basic pleasantries was killing me from the inside out, but at least it meant we were still in each other’s lives. Which, come to think about was how I had gotten into this mess in the first place. Wanting whatever part of herself she was willing to give me no matter how badly I wanted more because it was better than not having her at all. And yet, I still couldn’t bring myself to regret saying “I love you” to her. That was the one small comfort I could take away from all this pain. And all I could do was cling to the hope that she believed me.

I felt what small composure I’d been able to reassemble crack when I saw (Y/n) walking towards us with Ashton, and the wave of shame washed over me again. It wasn’t fair how the sweetest arrangement of eight letters had completely shattered us both. 

Ashton kept nudging me into her as we walked the block and a half back to the hotel, constantly clearing his throat as obnoxiously as possible. “Alright, I get it…” I growled at him under my breath, knocking my shoulder roughly into his.

“Then fuckin’ do something,” he muttered back, practically shoving me into her.

“Shit, sorry,” I mumbled, my hands going to catch her as she stumbled, throwing a glare at Ashton.

“Ss fine,” she sniffed, moving a step out of reach from me. “Sidewalk’s really uneven. Dark. Hard to see.”

“You okay?” I asked stupidly.

“Are you?” she countered. She drew her jacket tighter around her and picked up her pace to hurry into the hotel with Calum and Luke.

“No…” I answered, and my feet stopped carrying me forward.

“What the fuck?” Ashton questioned, hands going to my shoulders to keep pushing me forward. In front of us, Calum raised an eyebrow in silent question as an elevator arrived. Ashton waved him off.

“I tried…” I told him, tilting my head upwards like gravity would keep new tears from spilling.

“Try harder!” he hissed, as we waited for another elevator.

“Try harder how, Ash?! Talking things out doesn’t work if she doesn’t talk back! In fact, the only thing that’s kinda working is keeping my mouth fuckin’ shut. Like I should’ve to begin with…”

“Oh, don’t pull that shit! It wasn’t a slip of the tongue when you told her you loved her and we all know that. You meant to say them because you meant for her to hear them. You two just need to stop acting like you can sweep this under the rug.”

I shoved him into the elevator as the doors dinged open, hard. “We need to stop acting like we can sweep this under the rug?! You’re the one who keeps forcing our hands!”

“I’m not forcing shit! I’m trying to help you guys ‘cause I care about you!”

“Well I didn’t ask for your help!”

“Ask me if I give a fuck!” He slammed his fist into the buttons and the elevator started moving upwards. “Look…” his voice was soft when he spoke again. “You can hate me if you want to. This shit between you and (Y/n) is between you and her. You’re both adults. But you told her that you loved her for a reason. And she still came here for a reason. And if you two want to keep pussyfooting around the truth until one of you dies, that’s your choice to make. But you’re both my friends, and I’m not just gonna sit in silence when you’re both hurting.”

“It’s not you I hate, Ash… it’s him. I hate him so much. I hate what he did to her. And I hate that no matter what I do, I’ll never be enough. I’m not good at a lot of things. I know that. I’ve accepted that. But the one thing... the one thing I know I’m good at is loving her. It’s the greatest thing I’ll ever do.”

“So, tell her that,” he said as we stepped off the elevator and walked towards our room.

“Ash, you don’t get it… my greatest isn’t enough. I’m not enough. And I can hate him and blame him all I want, but it doesn’t change the fact that I wasn’t good enough to be hers before him, and I’m still not good enough now. All I am is a distraction. So, I guess I’m good at two things...”

His jaw set as he pulled out the key card to let us into the room. “Well, lucky for you, I’m good at a few things myself.”

The look in his eyes frightened me. “Ash… what are y-”

He held up his hand, cutting me off. “(Y/n)?” he called out.

“Yeah?” she asked, poking her head out of the bathroom.

“Could you c’mere a second?” he asked as he opened up the closet and hung up his jacket.

“Ash, what are you doing?” I asked again as she came over to us with a confused, “What’s up?”

“Remember,” he said, grabbing our arms. “It’s not me you hate.” Then, he pushed us both forward, quickly shutting us inside.

“Ashton!” she gasped in surprise.

I rammed my shoulder into the door, but he must have been sitting in front of it because it didn’t budge. “Ashton! Open the bloody door!”

“No!”

She pounded her fists against the wood. “Ashton! This isn’t funny! Let us out!”

“I will once you two figure out your mess! Don’t worry, I won’t eavesdrop. Just text me when you’re done.”

“ASHTON!”

~Y/N POV~

“It’s no use (Y/n), he’s not going to let us out if we’re struggling,” Michael said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

“I’m going to kill him,” I muttered, stopping my banging on the door.

“That makes two of us,” he sighed.

We moved so we were facing each other, leaning against either side of the closet. Even in the low lighting, I could still make out Michael’s figure. I could tell he was looking at me too.

“Do you think there’s a light in here?” I asked, breaking the silence that engulfed us.

“I don’t think so, and if there was, I think the switch would be on the other side of the door,” he answered.

I sighed and started feeling my pockets for my phone, coming up short. I let out a huff of annoyance.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I just breathed,” I shot.

“That’s not how you breathe. That was you huffing about something.”

A small smile crept onto my face. “I can’t hide anything from you, huh?”

“Nope.”

“I was going to pull out my phone and use the flashlight, but it got left out there,” I gestured to the door.

I watched Michael’s figure shift around until he pulled something out of his pockets. Suddenly a screen lit up, indicating that it was his phone. He quickly turned on the flashlight and shined it at me.

“Is that better?”

“No,” I giggled, blocking my eyes from the light. “Now I can’t see you at all.”

“Shit, sorry,” he mumbled, pointing the light at the floor.

Michael shuffled to his left before sliding his back down the wall until he was seated on the floor. I mimicked his movements and shuffled the opposite directions until my shoulder was pressed against the door frame. Michael then placed his phone on the ground between us.

With the light, I was then able to see his face. His eyes were glossed over with red surrounding the green. There were tear trails on his cheeks. I absentmindedly reached a hand over and cupped his cheek.

“Crying isn’t like you,” I murmured.

“I couldn’t help it,” he whispered, leaning into my touch.

I stroked his cheekbone with my thumb a couple of times before pulling my hand back. Michael appeared to deflate at the loss of contact.

“I’m sorry,” We both said at the same time.

“Why are you sorry?” I asked.

“Because I scared you off. I put a stress on us, that never should’ve been an issue,” he explained.

“Don’t be sorry. You only said the truth. I should be-” my voice broke. I cleared my throat as tears started to roll down my cheeks. “I’m the one who ran. I’m the one who created all of this drama because of something we both felt.”

“You mean that-”

“Yes,” I cut him off. “At least I’m pretty sure.”

He nodded his head, asking me to continue.

“I really like you a lot, Mikey. When you’re not around, I feel like I can’t breathe. Whenever I imagine my future, it’s always will you. I’ve been having dreams of us getting married, for crying out loud! And that scares me. I don’t know what to do. You said those words, and I panicked. For a moment all I could think about was him.”

Michael’s fists clenched the moment I brought up my ex. I put my hand on top of his before continuing.

“But you’re not him, and I know that. I fucked up and ran. I hurt you so bad and that hurt me. Because I was hurt, I got defensive, and I continued to hurt you. And I am so, so sorry. Michael, I don’t know how you’ll ever be able to forgive me.”

Tears were now streaming down my face. I looked up at Michael to see that he was crying as well.

“You’re already forgiven,” he said, grabbing my arm to pull me closer.

I shifted my body to allow myself to be pulled closer. Michael wrapped his arms around me. We wept into each other’s shoulders. 

After a little bit, I pulled away slightly to get Mikey to look at me. The moment he was looking at me, I smashed my lips against his. The kiss was salty from our tears, and held so much emotion. My heart started racing as butterflies erupted in my stomach.

We kissed until we were out of air. With our foreheads pressed together, a smile spread across my face.

“I’ve missed you so much,” I admitted to him.

“I’ve missed you too. Now, let’s get out of this closet.”

~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @galcalirwin​ @frontmanash​ @cxddlyash​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @talkfastromance4​ @aneclecticwriter​

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

I Decided To Watch The Walkthrough Of Deltarune Chapter 2

I was really happy that Chapter 2 was finally ready, but because of reasons... I wasn't able to play it, I mean I wanted to.

but whenever I clicked on it, it ended up showing that small blue message. saying that it might put the PC at risk.

I don't know if I should try to play it or not, maybe nothing will happen and it will just play the game with no problems.

but that message did pop up before,

when I wanted to play that Undertale Kissy Cutie fan game.

the Undertale Don't Forget Fan Game, it works just fine.

those two games didn't have that blue message pop up,

when I clicked on them.

so something must be causing it to happen,

I want to know if it will be okay to play those games.

if others have been having the same problems, but were also worried about playing it because of the blue message.

maybe someday they will have a update for those games where that blue message wont pop up and everything will be fine.

also I wonder if my seeing Toriel as a off-white purple colors, might of been a trick of the eyes...?

what I mean is, that maybe it was....I don't know.

also ya know like the Pie Was Canon, cause  someone's fan animation ended up predicting what was gonna happen in Deltarune.

turns out that Kris really did eat the whole pie.  and by the looks of it, from what I have seen in the walkthrough of Deltarune's Chapter 2.

I think that one of the Comics of Deltarune, might of predicted the future......

well Semi-Future.

so what happens at the school in Deltarune, is canon in the game.

of course there are still some differences from what happens in Chapter 2

and the AU-Comic.

maybe it is me that thinks that a comic predicated what was going to happen in the very start of the Chapter 2....

it took some hours, but I was able to finish watching it.....still wish I could of played it.

but like I said, that blue message that pop up made me decide not to at the moment because it says it might put The PC at risk.

so I'm not sure if it really would, but I don't want to risk it.

so I still have chapter 2 of the game, but I just can't play it right now sadly.

I got to say that the romances in the game was sure interest...

can't wait to see the ships.

well with any hope, all the chapters of Deltarune will be on a Nintendo Switch Game Card someday, maybe in a few years.

hopefully the Cuphead Game will be on a game card too, I still haven’t beaten that game sadly....I really need to try to get one of my family to be my player-2

so that I can maybe beat the hard bosses.

yeah know, Cuphead and Mugman should have common sense not to go into a casino that is run by the Devil.

well them and the debtors, the debtors should of had some sense not to make a deal with the Devil.

I wonder if it’s weird to have thoughts of flipping off the Grandpa Watchers and Nephilim.....? 

or the whole having thoughts of flipping off the Devil himself too...?

and in case there is any confusion, the “Watchers” were Angels....

well I think I would have it in my right to do a double flip the birdy off of them...

for some odd reason a little bit of the song “it’s my life” pop into my head just now....

guess you could say history repeats itself lol.

I mean, if what those mortal men wrote about it is true....

but it is likely one of their fibs.....maybe?

the song it’s my life, it’s by Bon Jovi.

as soon as that song pop into my head, I just had to listen to it.

  even though I might not be able to play Chapter 2 for a while because of the issues that prevent me from playing it.

I did enjoy watching the walkthrough of the chapter 2.

it was worth watching it for hours, plus I was surprised by what happen in the start of the chapter 2....well it happen when Kris went to school and there was something that happen there, which reminded me of well Paper Trial.

I do plan to read more of it on here, of course there is still differences.

but a certain thing that happens at the start of the Chapter 2,

reminds me of it but I wont say what....but what happens in that game that reminds me of Paper Trial, also reminds me of the The Pie Is Canon.

cause of that fan animation that had Kris saying that they were going to eat the whole pie, and it turns out the Chapter 2 Trailer shows that they did in fact eat the whole pie.

so The Pie being ate by Kris at the very end of Chapter 1, is 100% Canon.

 if there was fight between Susie from Deltarune and Cuphead from the Cuphead series.

I think Susie would win, at least I think she would.

plus Cuphead would have to be out of his mind to pick a fight with Susie.

I’m also starting to wonder if Asriel (the one from Deltarune)

might be a bit of a perv...? ^_^;;

if that book he borrowed from the library is a clue and him NEVER returning it.

well, I say it is possible.

Flowey: Has He Have No Shame!?

after finishing listening to it’s my life, I started to listen to some other music.....I’m listening to Equestria Girls songs now.

the magic of friendship is a wonderful thing, but like Sunset said before....

it can be turned into something else, and with how most of the problems in Equestria was solved by turning the “Bad Guys” to stone,

instead of just talking with them and trying to understand their point of view...

I think Sunset and her friends are a bit more better in reforming the bad guys.

I know that not all bad guys from a movie or cartoon or video game series

can be redeemed, that is because they are too far gone or have been really dark from the start.  

  but sometimes a villain, is just a tragic villain who has been hurt by someone either physically, psychology and or emotionally......or all of the above.

it might not be very easy to heal from the wounds.

it might even make you, not as happy as you use to be.     

and when you see a picture of how happy you seem before,

you can just tell that the you that is now, isn’t as happy as the you that is in the picture.

does that make sense...?

but you might still have happy moments and still be okay, and at some days

I don’t believe it is good or right for a Hero or Main Character,

to cross a line when it does not need to be crossed.

like making Magic the scapegoat, and having it be destroyed.

I mean Star Butterfly’s family had been the ones to misuse the magic,

so the magic itself was NEVER the problem....it was her family that was the problem because of their misuse of it.

and Cozy, Tirek and Chrysalis could of been reformed if they were spoken to and asked why they were doing it....I still think the “Magic of Friendship”

did cause Chrysalis some trauma, and that is why she broke out of the feeling good bond she was forming with Tirek and Cozy.

I get it, she was hurting, what she’s been through made her distrustful towards friendship and the ponies that took her family away from her.

even if she does have trauma, she might still care about Cozy and Tirek deep down.....well that is what I believe anyway.

 cause in a way, those three are a adoptive family and they need each other.

 what Discord, Celestia and Luna did to them,

I will not agree was the best course of action.

at least in Steven Universe Future, they solved the problem with Steven the right way....and like it was pointed out in that video I mention from Youtube.

the problem started at the VERY beginning in the Steven Universe Series.

even if Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet love Steven,

they still Semi-Neglected him, but not as much as Greg had.

and the video did point out some very important facts.

all the stuff that happen in Steven Universe, was going to erupt in time....

and when it did, it started to in the Steven Universe Future.

we can’t pretend that there was nothing wrong with Steven,

or like after he got back from space and after the whole Lars dying and coming back to life....

Connie didn’t try to see that Steven was trying to act like everything was fine,

and she shouldn’t just make it about herself, yes she had a right to her feelings and to wanting to be there for Steven, but Steven had been through a lot and he was hurting too. it is still good that they made up at some point.

and it is good that Connie finally figured out that there was something wrong with him, and they ended up as boyfriend and girlfriend at the end of Steven Universe Future.

maybe there is a lesson in both Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future.        

if we re-watch Steven Universe, we might can see why he ends up the way he does in Steven Universe Future and how it ended up causing him extreme emotional pain that would at some point make him view himself as Monster to the point of transforming into a type of Gem-Kaiju. 

it took everyone of his friends and family, to get through to him and give him what he needed, for them to hug him, and to be there for him when he was at his lowest.

Steven was at his lowest, it is possible the breaking point might of started at the first episode of Steven Universe Future or maybe in the Movie...who knows.

but at least he is seeing a therapist, he did say that he is seeing one now.

we can’t pretend the problem that Steven was having, didn’t first start at the early series....we just need to try to understand that it was going to break him past the breaking point and that it was gonna become too much for him.

even if Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst did technically  live with him

(and Amethyst became mature enough at some point to comfort him a bit more, and not just act like the teasing older sister.)

they still were half the cause of what happen to him, even if they made sure to help him with his gem powers and with other stuff.

they still ended up not taking care of him when he needed it.

and he might of thought it was normal, at least until he learned later on in Steven Universe Future, that it wasn’t.

even what his Dad did wasn’t okay, I get that Greg’s relationship with his own parents wasn’t perfect, but he is just as bad as them.

yes there could be reasons why Greg never got his way,

like one of the theories being that one of his parents had very sensitive hearing and couldn’t take really loud music.

another theory I have is that Steven might of went to go live his Grandparents when he left Beach City.

even if his Grandparents could be disappointed with Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst, they might still see them as a bit more responsible than their son Greg.....who could end up having their full disappointment.

  Greg ended up with so much money, and yeah he could of still treat himself.

but he could of send Steven to the hospital, and even hire a tutor for Steven.

but no, he doesn’t do that at all.

and we know what happen in Steven Universe Future

when Doctor Maheswaran points out some very important facts to Steven.

and Steven ends up getting really mad at his Dad, which I don't’ blame him for getting mad, plus the wreck wouldn’t of happen if Greg had stop being so insensitive to Steven’s feelings of wanting to have what he had and took for granted.

Greg only made things worse, with his talk of “freedom”

and even the whole “Gem” thing....

being a Gem, is only half of who Steven is.

and all his life, he was made to think he was only made to be like a replacement for his Mother....and even question what he is for, like with the whole Nora episode.

I still love Steven Universe, as well as the Movie and the Steven Universe Future. 

even if it takes myself and other fans to finally realize that Steven’s problems didn’t first start in Steven Universe Future, BUT in the first series.

and over time during Steven’s childhood it was only getting worse.

we want to believe that Steven’s life was perfect in the first series,

and the bad times he had in most of them, he got through with a smile on his face with no problems at all.         

who knows what the next show will be that Rebecca Sugar will make next,

but I know I wouldn’t mind seeing what comes next, just got to keep a eye out.

also you know how I believe the Darkners from Deltarune

are Tulpa, and from what we see in Chapter 2,

the new Darkners we see in it, are also Tulpa

and there are many different type of Tulpa.

well, I can’t help but wonder if Chara might be a Tulpa.

it is possible that the Red Soul in Undertale and the one in Deltarune,

are one in the same and are Chara.

and when the Player meets Chara after a Geno-Run....

they are really meeting them inside of Frisk’s Head.

I think it is possible that in Undertale, memories have been rewritten by the Man Who Speaks In Hands.

and the human that Prince Asriel befriended and became family to,

wasn’t Chara......but Kris.

with no soul, the Chara-Soul was placed inside the empty body that was buried under the bed of flowers.

 that is possible, but it might just be a theory that might not end up being true.

unless it is....well I do have a theory that Undertale will be one of the chapters.

if that happens that means Crossover, or not....it is just a theory after all.

it be really awesome if that turn out to be true.

a future Chapter having a Crossover between those two games would be really interesting.

I think it might be possible that the two games could be cleaved worlds, once being one in the same before splitting and breaking apart.

we can think about what was originally going to be in the original version,

as the original world before splitting into Undertale and Deltarune.

Chapter 2 was Awesome, well even if I could only watch a walkthrough of it and I couldn’t play it because of what I spoke about before in this....

but I hope that I will be able to play it sometime.

but for now, I am happy with just watching it until I am able to play it myself.

[mysticdoodles]

Powerful lines from Spinel that hit harder the more you watch

So I’m sure this has probably been done already BUT I’ve been having too many feelings about this movie and especially about this precious new gem so I absolutely have to gush. After watching the movie the first time through, there’s a lot of double meanings to Spinel’s lines that really make her come to life. Obviously this won’t include everything because then I might as well just link the entire dang movie. These lines are the ones that I’ve just found myself thinking about more and more as the days go by since my first watching of the film.

Spoiler alert, most of these are going to be coming from Other Friends (but that’s no big surprise).

!!-SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE YET-!!

1. “I’ve got a new style, and a few new TOYS.”

Spinel’s introduction is very well framed in a lot of ways, with her slamming down on the injector and backlit by the pink poison glow, but the dialogue is what really hit me. With the context that Pink Diamond abandoned her because Pink eventually grew bored and tired of Spinel, this line in particular struck me as very pointed. Coupled with the slam of her palm against the giant instrument of death, it speaks volumes about how Pink Diamond saw the things that she valued as hers, as well as how Spinel sees herself. Pink had tossed her aside like an unwanted doll - now SHE gets to be the one with fancy new toys, tossing aside her old self just like Pink did.

2. “Yeah yeah, I’ve heard. I’ve had your little message to the universe ON LOOP!”

Pretty blatant in context, but the more you think about it, the sadder it gets. Spinel stood in the garden for six millennia, loyal and faithful to Pink all along, praying she’d return. Instead, all Spinel gets in response is some happy message to the universe from a galaxy-wide intercom that tells her Pink Diamond lived a happy life without her. That everything else was so much better for Pink with her forgotten. That Pink made new friends. Hearing this broke her heart, and traumatized her. Yet she listened over and over to the same message - hoping it would change? Trying to deny it, and see if it wasn’t true? She had the fulfilling relationship she was denied shoved in her face over and over, until she finally gets angry enough to go vent her fury.

3. “[...] where Pink Diamond spends the rest of her days on this NOWHERE PLANET, with a bunch- of- NOBODIES!”

Pink had her own private garden; built just for her, as we know the other diamonds have no taste at all in preserving or keeping organic life. And in the efforts of the Diamond Authority to keep Pink happy, they also gave her Spinel, a gem specifically designed to be a top-of-the-line Best Friend.

And yet despite all of Spinel’s quirky and goofy nature, she was never enough for Pink. The garden, for all its beauty and catering to Pink’s desires, was never enough either. Pink traded her personal playground and ultimate playmate for a planet that was doomed to be colonized and destroyed, and for a- as she puts it- “menagerie” of gems that aren’t particularly special at all. An ‘overcooked’ Amethyst soldier, a Pearl created to be a servant rather than a friend, and a fusion that by Diamond law had been outlawed in Spinel’s time. Spinel was left in her special garden to rot, in exchange for what she views as nothing but a downgrade.

4. “What did she say about me, what did she say? What did you do without me, what did you do? Did you play games without me, what did you play? Did you think all this time that I wouldn’t find out about you?”

These are all the things that ran through Spinel’s head after finding out she’d been left behind for good. That surely Pink Diamond gossiped to her brand new friends about the one she left behind. That surely Pink included her brand new friends in every game she wanted to play that Spinel couldn’t be a part of. That surely everyone involved with Pink Diamond MUST have known about her, and chose to leave her behind. It’s her rationalization for her actions - her excuse to beat on complete strangers for the actions of one person that ruined her life.

5. “Who am I? Who am I?? What are you even saying?”

This is the moment where it hits home for Spinel - that Pink didn’t even talk to other gems about her. Spinel was so unimportant to Pink that she never even crossed her mind or came up in conversation. You can see the moment where shock takes over, and is bulldozed by even greater rage.

All those years, all that waiting, and Pink never once intended on returning, or even so much as acknowledge the existence of her previous ““best friend.””

6. “I’m the loser of the game you didn’t know you were playing!”

Aside from being probably my favorite line in the whole song, this one stuck with me for a good while. It took me until approx. the 54th loop of Other Friends to realize Spinel is being completely literal as well as metaphorical. The reason she stayed in the garden was because- to her- she WAS playing a game with Pink! A game that, by the shallow rules Pink herself set, Spinel has lost. Spinel broke the rules and moved from where Pink told her to stay, and Steven is, for all intents and purposes, what remains of Pink Diamond. He really didn’t know of this false game, none of the Crystal Gems did.

But this hit even harder in the emotional sense - Spinel lost the game long before she moved from her spot in the garden. She lost the minute Pink decided Spinel was better off forgotten on a rock in space than by her side, because her loyalty was wasted on Pink. In Spinel’s steadfast adoration of Pink, she never realized the truth until it was far too late, and she feels all the more foolish for it.

7. “Let’s play another game, this time I get to win! Lives on the line- winner takes all- ready or not, let’s BEGIN!”

Not only is this Spinel’s statement that she’s taking control back by FORCE - that SHE is now the one who gets to pick the games, and as a result, affect the lives of those she “plays” with (just like Pink) - but it’s also a very subtle admission of how this feels. Deep down in the depths of her mind, this isn’t just a mission to cause hurt in turn for the hurt she received, but also a potential suicide mission.

Sure, she might have a good chance of killing ALL of Pink Diamond’s precious new besties; with her fancy new “toys” of a jumbo-sized colony injector full of poison and a factory-reset device for gems, she stands to take out quite a few important Crystal Gems AND the Earth that stole Pink from her, before finishing what she started. But Spinel also acknowledges later in the film that Steven is respected as a legendary savior of the galaxy. She’s playing hardball with powerful figures, and she knows it. That’s WHY she went the extra effort to get such strong equipment before even showing up to the party - Steven and the Crystal Gems were a legitimate threat, who could have easily defeated or even shattered her. And for Spinel, who waited for thousands of years in what I can only describe as emotional torture in solitary confinement, shattering would be preferable to her than one more second of living in that torment.

8. “[We’re going] back, to where I never left.”

Physically leaving the garden never made her problems go away, like how Pink seemed to do with everything she grew bored of. Despite being on Earth, in this ‘new place to play’ and surrounded by gems she’d never met that she could make friends with, even Rejuvenated to be back to how she was supposed to be right out of the kindergarten, she can’t escape the damage done by Pink abandoning her. She’s unable to find happiness yet, haunted by Pink’s actions and decision to discard her. In Spinel’s mind, she’s standing in that garden. Still waiting for Pink. Still waiting for someone, anyone, to come and be her friend.

9. “I don’t want to play anymore.”

This has stopped being a game for Spinel. Attacking and hurting the people she blames for her life being ruined is no longer fun, and doesn’t make her feel better anymore. She’s losing whatever twisted enjoyment she was getting from the one small goal she set for herself to keep moving forward - revenge. So from this point onward, she’s determined to finish things - that maybe actually doing the deed and being done with it would finally make the pain go away.

10. “Why do I want to hurt you so badly? I’m supposed to be your friend... I just want to be your friend...”

Striking out from her anger and pain, Spinel finally recognizes that harming others isn’t going to change how she feels. The pain isn’t disappearing. She’s falling farther and farther from what she truly wants to be. In her heart, she DOESN’T want to harm others, and realizes that she’s lost control of herself and her actions.

And it’s her final plea to Pink Diamond, who she can never get back. That’s all she ever wanted from Pink, and in the end, was it really that much to ask?

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter seven: the wedding

“it’s a nice day for a black wedding. it’s a nice day to start again!” -”black wedding”, in this moment

Joey held the car door for Sam once they had posted up before the big church on the corner, across the street from an ice cream parlor. It was a large white steeple with stained glass windows more vast than anything Sam had seen at the school: the spire up top shone high and bright in the hazy midday sun. Just another beautiful day in the neighborhood, and the neighborhood consisted of Rhode Island, and it would be a true steampunk wedding.

She recalled everything Aurora had told her during dress rehearsal the day before, but she wondered if she could carry it out well enough for her, especially since they had to hurry back to the hotel and help out with all the band equipment. It was the only show she was to make so far, given finals for spring term took place right when they toured in upstate New York and in New Jersey. But she vowed to follow them on a few dates elsewhere in the country.

If all else fails, Sam thought about asking Zelda if she could be manager to the Cherry Suicides and Stormtroopers of Death, that is if the latter did something further than the one album.

She kept her sunglasses on over her face to better add to her maid of honor outfit, while Joey had put on a small tuxedo that he borrowed from one of his old hockey friends. She also had put a yellow tulip pin on the bolero in honor of Cliff.

Sam asked him why he still hadn't dry cleaned his other tuxedo when Anthrax had a month off between the release of the new album and the official start of the new tour.

“I told ya—it's a bitch to get to the dry cleaners,” he explained, flustered. “I've also had shit to do, too.”

“I'm gonna need you to watch your mouth, Joseph,” she commanded. “There's gonna be a few kids here—Aurora's an only child but she has a cousin and he has three little ones with him.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure—I'll stay away from the booze, too.”

“Okay, good.” She rested a hand on his back, and they walked up the steps in unison to the front door. They stepped inside of the large spacious church: the ceiling hung high over their heads in those strong wooden rafters; right above the rafters was a portrait of the madonna and several cherub. On the far side of the room was the altar as well as a big black Latin cross upon the wall. They strode towards the cross in awed silence, given the sheer size of the church.

“If I didn't know better,” Joey started, and his voice echoed over the pews and the vast floor, “I'd swear they were Catholic.”

“Emile is,” Sam recalled, “I guess Aurora wanted it outside by the harbor but he was like 'no, we need to have it in a church! It's for my faith!' and so they compromised on it. The wedding is here in this church while the reception is by the harbor itself.”

“And then we've got the show tonight,” he added.

“Right, we've got the Anthrax, Testament, and Cherry Suicides shows tonight—which means the bride and groom better get here soon so we all can get there quick enough.” Sam nibbled on her bottom lip when she saw that they were the only ones there for the time being. They had left their room rather early, given the wedding itself was at three.

She also thought about that show that night. She hoped things would not be so awkward between Joey and Alex, and also between Zelda and Louie, and yet hope could only get her so far. Things needed to play out and she knew that she need not be in control of it all. Joey gave his black curls a little toss back with the back of his hand.

“So where do I sit?” he asked her once they reached the front of the church and right beneath that tall cross on the wall.

“I think you guys sit up here, up front—you being high up on the guest list of course. Aurora went over it with me yesterday, but I can't remember if it's the right or the left side—”

“Oh, here we are,” he pointed out the little paper sign on the pew on the left side: on the front, in Aurora's neat penmanship, it read “reserved for ANTHRAX and METALLICA”. He stooped over a bit to pick it off of the heavy dark polished wood.

“Kirk and Rebecca aren't gonna be here, you said?” he asked her with a glance over his shoulder.

“Nope. They've got things to worry about on their end.”

“Huh. Well, I call dibs on this spot on the bench closest to the altar.”

“I think her dad sits there,” Sam recalled as she lingered behind him. “Her mom probably does, too.”

“Damn. Well, it makes sense.”

Right as the words left his lips, the front door of the church opened and Belinda poked her blonde head inside of the church.

“You guys doin' it silly in the middle of a church?” she called out; and Sam noticed she stood right behind Joey as he was stooped over.

“Yeah, you wish,” he retorted with his index fingers above the crown of his head, and that brought a laugh out of both girls.

Within time, Marla showed up with her iridescent hair bright and shiny and even more colorful from the stained glass windows around them. Given she was the maid of honor, Sam whisked them behind the altar and to the small cozy room where Aurora had told them to meet up at, and so they could help her out with the dress and the bouquets. The other guests took their places in the church outside, including Aurora's parents, both of whom had flown in from San Diego bright and early. Sam poked her head out to see them for herself and their short little statures next to the towering giants of Frank and Charlie; Mr. Young wore a red and black suit and a dark red velvet hat upon his head, while Mrs. Young had done her inky black hair into a beehive style upon the crown of her head.

“Aurora, your parents are here,” Sam told her, “and they look so cute next to Charlie!”

Frank bent down towards Mrs. Young and gave her a smile, and she nodded at him in response.

The door on the other side of the room there swung open and Alex almost stumbled inside, wrapped up in that full suit: his jet black hair sprawled over his shoulder like the tentacles of an octopus. She had no idea if it was her eyes fooling her, but she swore that black hair dye was wearing off: the little pearl of white was returning just in time for the summer months and the heart of that big extensive tour. He left the top two buttons of his silk shirt undone so the Star of David glimmered under the soft ceiling lights.

“And there's our man,” Belinda announced.

“I wondering when you'd get here,” Aurora told him.

“Testament's van is having some moments,” he told her, out of breath: he took off that ring so his hands didn't stand out so much to Sam when he adjusted the lapels of his coat. He gave his hair a slight toss back with a flick of his head and the ceiling light shone into those deep eyes. His otherwise milky skin had a slight rosy bloom to it.

“Are you warm?” Aurora asked him as Marla adjusted the dark veil upon her head.

“Kinda,” he replied. “It's not as bad as I was suspecting out there.” He then stood there with his hands pressed to his hips, and he sighed through his nose. Even though he always looked serious, his gaze fell to the floor and those dark eyebrows sternly knitted together.

“What's wrong?” Marla asked him.

“Hm?”

“Yeah, you look like something's bothering you,” Sam added.

“I'm just—nervous,” he confessed. “Because I'm the bridesman. I know I shouldn't say that because I'm just in the party and not the one at the altar but it's still reason for concern.”

“Why, 'cause you're hanging with a bunch of girls?”Aurora fixed the lace gloves on her hands; she had put a turquoise bracelet on over her left wrist, on top of the glove. He pursed his lips but he never replied to that. “Alex, what you're doing for me is so sweet. I can't thank you anymore for it, especially after Zelda and Rebecca both couldn't do it.”

He showed her a small smile in response to that.

“Yeah, if someone gives you hell for being in the bridal party, then to hell with them,” Belinda assured him.

“Thank you, ladies, that's—that's real nice of you,” he said in a soft voice.

Aurora then ran her hands down the front of her corset.

“Okay, something old—that would be my shoes—” She lifted her skirt and showed off the black leather flats on her feet. “—these were my mother's shoes when she and my dad married in Seoul. It's also the only thing traditionally Korean here. Something new, that would be the dress and the veil. Something blue, that would be my bracelet—something borrowed, though.”

Belinda reached behind her head to undo her snake pendant, but Sam unbuttoned the yellow tulip pin on the bolero and stuck it onto the front of Aurora's dress, right above the corset. She gasped at the sight of it.

“Perfect,” Alex declared as he rubbed his hands together.

“Yes—it is!” Aurora brought a hand to her mouth and then Sam put her arms around her. “Thank you,” she whispered into her ear.

“Let's do this,” Sam told her, and Aurora reached for the first of the bouquets. “So we go around the hallway here and make our way to the door and we meet up with the groomsmen.”

Each of the bouquets consisted of white and bright pink carnations and white and pink lilies. Sam led the way with Emile's best man linked elbows with her; Alex, Marla, and Belinda followed suit right behind her with the rest of the grooms. They strode down the aisle together, past the pews and the matching bouquets of white and pink carnations and lilies, and towards Emile, who was wrapped in an all black double breasted suit complete with a silver chain in his pocket and a top hat upon his head, and the priest at the altar.

It was really happening. Something that felt so surreal and right out of a dream was unfolding right before her very eyes.

She stood closest to the altar and she peered out at the small silent audience as they congregated in only a small part of the church. Scott, Frank, Charlie, the Dans, James, and Lars all sat in the row closest to the altar; Joey and one of his old hockey friends took to the row behind them.

Alex stood right next to Sam with that bouquet in his hands. On the other side of the aisle was Chuck, Eric, Greg, and Louie; Zelda was nowhere to be seen. But Chuck nodded at him and gave him a thumbs up, and Alex raised his eyebrows at him. Because the church was so big, they could hear every cough, every creak in the walls, and every voice no matter how low.

“He looks like a sissy,” the guy next to Joey whispered; and Joey asked him something.

“Alex—at least that's what I think his name is—” And then his words slurred.

Joey shrugged his shoulders with a straight face. “Pink and girliness? That's not what we're about.”

Alex sighed through his nose. That was his worry after all.

“It's okay—don't let him get to you,” Marla assured him in a low voice. “He's just—had a couple is all.”

“Who, Joey?” Belinda asked her.

“No, the other guy,” she replied.

Aurora stood at the far end of the aisle with her father linked arms with her. Everyone in the pews stood in her honor. Alex bowed his head and closed his eyes; Sam looked over at his serene face as the church organ played that wedding song. His lanky fingers cradled the bouquet but she noticed them flinching a bit every so often.

A born guitar player.

The guy in front of them giggled at him. But Alex kept his head bowed long enough to faze him out. Sam looked back over to the other side of the aisle, at Aurora's mother and her cousin, who indeed had three young children next to him. At least they were over there, away from the drunk guy.

But she wondered as to how much Joey was resisting from a drink himself, especially with the frazzled look on his face. Mr. Young brought Aurora to the altar and then he kissed the back of her hand before he let her go to Emile; he shook his hand and Emile said something to her.

Sam held the bouquet down to her waist as the priest talked for what felt like an eternity. She thought about what Joey had said to her at Kirk and Rebecca's wedding: indeed, when she looked down at him, she could see a twinkle in his eye. She wondered what he was thinking as Emile vowed to care for Aurora through sickness and through health, until death do they part. Aurora returned the favor without a shred of hesitation. They put the rings on each other's hands: Emile with the silver band and Aurora with a shiny silver and diamond one.

“I pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Young-St. Vitus—you may now kiss the bride.”

Alex closed his eyes again as Emile put his arms around Aurora and they embraced in a single kiss. When they left the altar, the bridal party linked arms right behind them and they made their way outside to the bright afternoon sun.

“Alright, ya'll, so the reception is about two blocks from here,” Emile told them as he adjusted the brim of his hat. “Big ol' grassy area with a good view of the ocean.”

“We can walk there or we can make a bee line towards it,” Aurora added.

“I think we can walk,” Marla told them. “It's not like it's sweltering out anyways.”

Sam felt a tap on her shoulder right then, and she turned to find Joey right behind her, and her face lit up at the sight of him.

“So we walkin'?” he asked her in a low voice.

“I think we are.”

“I got the keys anyway.”

She dared not tell him about the guy next to him, and for all she knew, he had bowed out behind the church to throw up, and she didn't care, either. Joey need not another trigger like that to get him to drink again.

Aurora and Emile led the way down to the corner and around the bend: at the far end of the block was a cul de sac as well as that grassy area in question. Beyond that was a sliver of a view of the glimmering Atlantic Ocean. Emile held onto his hat with one hand while he held onto Aurora's shoulder with the other. Sam still had an odd feeling about them, especially since he never mentioned his previous wife once, or if things had been finalized between them before. There was only so much to know about them, and thus she dared not mention it to anyone. Her best friend had just gotten married.

Her best friend had just gotten married, and she couldn't even hold onto a boyfriend for herself.

The cool ocean breeze swelled up and pushed Aurora's long skirt up a bit.

“Easy there!” Joey cracked.

“I feel like I'm about to sail away,” she told him with a glimpse over her shoulder.

“Come sail away! Come sail away!” Joey sang out, and Emile peered back at him.

“Nice voice you got there, son!”

“Joey doesn't mess around you know,” Aurora told him.

“Just put out an album with that voice, too,” Sam added.

“The hell I did.” Joey looked behind him, and she knew he was looking for that drunk friend. Behind her was Marla and Belinda, and Alex lingered somewhere back there with Testament. She wondered about those kids in particular, and if Aurora's cousin knew that there was a drunk guy in the audience.

Soon, they reached the grassy area and she spotted a row of tables, including an empty one underneath the tree closest to them. Across from that stood the table with the wedding cake, a three tiered cake with black and white frosting and little pink and white roses decorated around it in that rich frosting. On the top tier were those little mannequins of Aurora and Emile: she was small and petite compared to his big and heavy stature.

Sam never realized how hungry she was until they sliced into that cake in front of everybody. Greg and Alex stood before her with eager looks on their faces.

“I am so hungry right now,” Greg confessed as Aurora handed out slices to everyone.

“Plenty for everyone and then some,” Emile told him, and he handed Sam a big slice of cake, complete with a rose on top. “For the maid of honor.”

“Thank you, my dear landlord,” she retorted to him.

“You know what? Just for being well behaved and so hard working, the next month's rent is on me.”

“Aw!” Her face lit up at that.

“Aw, man, I gotta move into where Sam's livin' at,” Louie called out from the back and everyone laughed out loud at that. Sam took the slice of cake to the table on the right, where the bridal party was instructed to be seated at. She took the spot closest to the cake table and she waited for Marla, Belinda, and Alex to join her; she had no idea if Aurora and Emile were going to be right next to her, but once the rest of the bridal party took their spots, she dug right into the cake.

“Oh, man, that's good cake,” Alex remarked.

“Courtesy of the Cherry Suicides,” Aurora told him as she handed out a slice to Joey.

“They made this?!” He gaped at her.

“No, it's from the best bakery in Narragansett—according to them anyways.”

“I see. I'll buy it, too—I need like a glass of milk with this.”

“Nice big frosty glass of milk,” Marla added.

“Where are those girls, anyway?” Sam asked her.

“They had to get to the venue,” Aurora replied as she adjusted her skirt, “Zelda called me yesterday and said there was no way they were gonna make it because of their own rehearsal. So I said, 'that's okay! Do what you have to do, and you'll be here in spirit.'”

Joey took his seat on the grass in front of Sam, which brought a chuckle out of her.

“What're you doing?” she asked him.

“I'm your date, remember?”

“At least get a chair, Joey,” Belinda laughed along with her.

“Nah, I'm good,” he assured her, and he showed Alex a fleeting glimpse. Sam returned to her cake and relished every bite of the chocolate inside, and of the black and white frosting on the outside; then there was that lovely oceanic breeze. She had been so acquainted with New York and with the Pacific Ocean that to feel the whispers of the Atlantic on her face was a world of its own.

Once she finished the rest of the frosting rose, she brought a hand to her mouth and closed her eyes.

“Here, I'll take that—” Joey offered her, and she opened her eyes to find his hand on the rim of the paper plate. She showed him a smile as he stepped towards a nearby trash can. Alex also had finished his cake, and then he waved at Greg; he hurried around them faster than those three children around the Young family table. Aurora's face was flushed from all the excitement but she smiled the whole entire time, and even more so when one of those kids came up to her.

“So show later tonight,” Marla proclaimed.

“Yup—the girls go on first, then Anthrax and Testament,” Sam recalled.

“Ooh, Anthrax between Zelda and Louie,” Belinda remarked.

“I might be there tonight, to be honest,” Marla told them.

“Really?” Sam raised her eyebrows at her.

“Yeah, I might as well. That album probably never would have sounded like it does if not for me and Charlie.”

“Wow—”

Sam was cut off by the sight of Joey darting past the table and towards Testament.

“Oh, no,” Belinda groaned.

“What the—”

Before anyone could say anything, Joey shouted something and it took Sam a few seconds to realize he yelled at Alex. He held his arm back.

Joey punched him right in the nose, and Alex fell backwards onto the empty table. The Young family stopped right in their tracks. Emile hurried over to them. And even though Alex wasn't very big, the legs buckled and the table collapsed underneath him. Joey lunged for him but Charlie and Scott grabbed him from behind.

“JOEY!” Sam shrieked as she climbed to her feet.

“Joey! Joey! It's not worth it!” Charlie exclaimed. “It's not worth it, man! It's not worth it!”

Joey tried to break free from their grip but Charlie in particular was too strong. Frank and James both joined in from behind and dragged him away from Alex.

“Get him out of here—get him out of here—” Chuck commanded them.

Alex groaned from the pain in his nose and from landing on the table and the grass, and Marla knelt down next to him. Sam and Belinda stood behind her.

“Shit—fuck, are you okay?” she gently asked him.

“You alright, Alex?” Chuck joined in; Marla extended her hand for him and she and Chuck helped him off of the grass. She almost lost her balance but she caught herself on the broken edge of the table.

“I think so—god, he really got me hard there.” Alex sat upright and Sam peered over Marla's head: his nose was bright red but it looked to be about it.

“I'm not bleeding, am I?” he asked them with a sniffle.

“No,” Marla assured him, “but does it feel like something's broken, though?”

“I don't think so,” he confessed as he held a hand to the tip of his nose. His legs shook like those on a newborn foal but he looked as though he was ready to start another fight with Joey.

“What was that all about?” Emile asked him, but Sam turned away to see where Joey had gone off to. A sinking feeling emerged in the pit of her stomach as she looked beyond the Young family and the blushing Aurora, to the trees. She spotted Charlie and Joey near the edge of the slope.

She held up her skirt and then bowed past everyone to see what was going on. Even with those three kids there, she could overhear Joey swearing like a sailor.

“Charlie, that fucking kid gave me the finger!” he said once she came within earshot, and she stopped right in her tracks. “I swear by it, man! I fucking swear by it!” On one hand, she wanted to curse out Joey for cursing in front of three children, but then again, she wondered exactly what happened there.

She turned back into the direction of the bridal party, but she noticed Marla helped Alex to a different table, far away from the main area, almost around the corner of a tall willow tree. Even from a distance, he grimaced from the pain and kept the back of his hand pressed to his nose. Marla asked him something and he nodded his head at her. He was alone at the table as Belinda went over to the Young table to talk to Aurora.

He raised his gaze to Sam and he frowned at her, still with his thumb pressed to the side of his nose.

“Why'd you give him the finger?” Sam demanded.

“What? I didn't!” Alex insisted with a wave of a hand. “I was just talking to Greg and I pointed my thumb upwards while I was telling him about the volume on the amps. He must've mistook it for something else.”

“I was standing right next to him when it happened,” she pointed out. “It looked like the middle finger, Alex.”

“Hey, why're you defending him? He pushed me and then he punched me! Both times you defended him.”

“Because Joey is my friend,” she declared. “And I'm trying to help him and get him out of old habits. And I don't need you flipping him off and getting him riled up because when he gets riled up, he drinks.”

He paused for a second: those deep eyes stared hard and cold into her.

“He drinks, Alex. He drinks. And he gets triggered by these things.”

“I did not flip him off,” he said through gritted teeth. She shook her head and closed her eyes in frustration.

“Just—stay right there,” she ordered with a wave of her hand. “I'll handle it.”

“I didn't flip him off, Samantha,” he repeated as she walked away. She headed back towards the main area but the last thing she needed to do was speak to anyone about anything that had happened. She rounded the corner of the trees and, careful not to bring any attention to herself, she slunk across the grass to the table with the wedding cake. She hoped Aurora wouldn't mind her taking a second slice for herself when she spotted Joey's black curls over by the far edge of the grass. Charlie had gone, but he sat there in the sun with his back towards her: even from a distance, she could see the split down his back. The punch to Alex's face did a number on that suit as well.

She walked towards him but once she left the shade, she hesitated right behind him. At least Aurora and Emile refused alcohol there, but she could sense it with him. He was craving it. Her mind fell blank, especially since she hadn't dealt with this sort of problem before. He wished for it.

She took a promise to get him away from it, and Belinda did, too. The only hope right then was that he wouldn't take the car and search for a drink. He did have the car keys on him.

But then she had an idea.

She sighed through her nose again, and she ambled the rest of the way across the grass. She tapped on his shoulder and he lifted his gaze from the shores down below up towards her. He squinted his brown eyes in the bright sunlight at her.

“Hey,” she gently greeted him.

“Hey,” he echoed her in a low voice.

“How're you feeling?”

He shrugged his shoulders and grimaced.

“Do you have the car keys?” she asked him.

“What you need the car for?”

“I want to get you something. You know, to cheer you up.”

“I really want a drink,” he confessed, “and I don't mean booze, either.”

“Okay. I'll do that for you.” He reached into his coat pocket for the car key, but she wasn't willing to leave right away. Instead, she strode past that table where Alex was seated at and she scowled at him.

“I did not flip him off,” he said a third time, and that time he said it in a terse tone of voice.

“Go sit over there,” she ordered again and she gestured to the far side of the grass, back towards the bridal party.

“Why?” He showed her a slight smirk.

“Because you're annoying and I don't want you here when I get back.”

“I'm annoying, is that what you said?”

She fumed at him, but then his smirk went away. And he shook his head. “Wow,” he muttered, and he stepped away from there. He kept his thumb pressed to the side of his nose all the while. But she rolled her eyes at him and she kept on walking towards the far side of the grass, where she reached the street. She spotted the spire on the church and she knew the cars were near there.

But then again, there was that little ice cream parlor across the street. She held onto her skirt as she crossed the dark pavement, and she did have some change in her pocket, enough for a drink of water for the both of them, although she knew there were plenty of drinks back at the reception. Just so long as it got her away from there for a bit. She couldn't believe Alex had done that, and she had lied to him, too: she had no idea what he was doing over there by Greg. For all she knew, Joey was telling the truth that time.

She returned to the grassy area with two cups of water for the two of them. Joey still sulked there with his back to her, but she hovered next to him.

“Wanna go sit at a table?” she offered him.

“Sure, why not.”

He stood up, and his jacket tore a bit more at the back, and he followed her back to that table on the far side of the grass. Scott's big Queens accent caught her ear right then, but she couldn't hear what he was saying.

“By the way, who was that guy who was with you earlier?” she asked him.

“The guy I borrowed the suit from—and yeah, he was pretty hammered. I tried my best to get him to cool his jets, but once the bride and groom left, he made a run for it outside. After we sit here for a bit, I'll go see if I can find 'em.”

“—Marge and I are getting married, too—” Scott proclaimed right then, to which Joey groaned. They walked right past the Young table at that moment.

“Fu—”

“Joey, watch your mouth,” Sam cut him off, and they kept on walking towards the table. He plopped down hard in that one spot under the tree and he shook his head.

“Frick, frick, frick, frick,” he stammered.

“What?”

“So many freaking weddings, I freaking swear to freaking god—frick!”

[myfriendscallmecoelophysis]

The Fears of a Goddess

Part 1 of my Dark! Ianite fic 

Part 2 

Enjoy and as always

Find me on Ao3:

Selenejessabelle12626 for the tame stuff

Lady-Spieroles for the less tame stuff ;)

~

It wasn’t often that Tom felt like warnings of any sort were worth heeding. People often overreacted. ‘Don’t touch that’  ‘Don’t climb that high’ ‘Don’t challenge him to a fight’ ‘Don’t taste that weird green goo’,  blah blah blah, always so boring. No one was willing to have any fun. But the warnings he did at least give a bit of consideration to were the ones from his God. Dianite may not really care about Tom but as long as Tom was useful, Dianite had to have some sort of interest in his continued survival. So when the book was left for him saying that Ianite may not be all that she appeared, Tom actually took it into consideration.

But really? Ianite? Jordan’s dodgy eyed, bubbly Goddess? Evil? Sure the Ianite of Ruxomar had caused the taint and destroyed the entire city of Dagrun with it  and all that but she’d been chill whenever Tom had spoken with her. He didn’t admittedly have much experience with the Ianite they’d saved in their first lives either, really just causing a bit of mischief whenever she showed her face. Though there was that one time she took the sword Dianite had given him and killed him with it. 

Eh, he’d go with Dianite for now. No harm in pretending to join her side and just using it as an excuse to spend more time with Jordan. 

It was when Mianite warned them, all of them, of some sort of evil shadowy force that could be in any one of them that Tom gave Dianite’s worries a second thought. Maybe this was what he’d been thinking of? Maybe this evil had gotten it’s grip into Ianite? Should he say something to Jordan? 

“Karl?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Did Mianite, say anything else to you about this evil thing that he didn’t tell us?” 

They were sailing together back to their islands after the Mianite Games. Sparklez had flown ahead already, he stashed his elytra in that stupid ender chest and brought it along instead of leaving it behind like they’d been told. 

Karl took a moment to reply, a moment too long for his words to be anything but suspicious. “No. Just what he told all of us.” 

“Nothing about, Ianite or anything?” 

“What do you mean? Why would he talk to me in secret about Jordan’s God?” 

Tom frowned, turning back towards the front of the boat. “Nevermind, forget I said anything.” 

His suspicions don’t fade, but he hid them well enough, he’d always been a pretty good liar when it actually mattered. Dianite had said nothing to him since before the Trial. He’d said he needed time to figure out what was happening and while Tom did feel a bit abandoned, he didn’t fault the God. He knew his own sister better than Tom did, he would know if she was acting off. So he played his part, gave Ianite the pearls she wanted, knelt before her and pretended to swear his loyalty despite Jordan frowning down at him from her side. For the foreseeable future he wouldn’t destroy anything or kill anyone or cause unnecessary chaos. There were greater things at work that he didn’t know about. Dianite would come back when it was time.

~

“Jordan, you trust me don’t you?” Ianite asked him out of the blue one day. She was sitting on the stairs in his tower, watching as he rummaged and crafted. Hunter, the stray cat that Ianite had adopted (despite it living in Jordan’s home), sat in her lap purring as she stroked it.

“Of course.” Jordan said without looking up from what he was working on. 

“I think my brothers are plotting against me.” He paused, pulling back the ingredients he’d been about to mix at his brewing stand. 

He turned around to look at her and asked “What do you mean?” confused by why she would say such a thing. 

“They’ve stopped speaking to me. But I see them speaking to each other.” Jordan felt a twinge of pity for her, he knew what it felt like to be left out of conversations. Tom and Karl did it often enough, swapping secrets and inside jokes. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing milady. They’re your little brothers, little brothers do things like that sometimes. Or so I’ve been told.” 

“I’m scared of what they may be planning.” At her admittance, the pity he felt doubled. He set aside the potion and moved to sit on the stairs next to her. “I’m scared of what is to come if they come into their powers.” 

He’d told her of the theory he and Tom shared. That they’d come backwards in time to a point where the Gods they would know as powerful had not yet grown into their abilities. She’d asked him endless questions about that life and he’d told her, once she’d shared that she knew some of it already. The Ianite of Ruxomar had told him what would happen when she scattered her quintessence, that she would become one with all her lives across all dimensions and realities. It made sense that this version of her might have glimpses of those other lives. She knew that for Dianite to be defeated in the far-flung future, his evil ended once and for all, she would have to rot in a crystal prison cell for millenia unknown. He would steal her heart and hide it away, leaving her weak and broken, a shell of a Goddess and of herself. It was no wonder that she was worried. 

In all likelihood Dianite had already gotten a similar story from Tom about the future where they’d come from and knowing Tom, it did not paint Ianite or Mianite in a very kind way.   

“It’ll be alright. The fact that I’m here is proof that it will be. I saved you then and I will do it again. Over and over as many times as I must, in this dimension and all others. You have my word. I swear it to you as your Champion.” He was not often one for physical contact, but hazarded a chance to take one of her hands in his, giving what he hoped was a comforting squeeze. 

She smiled and squeezed it back.  “I know you will. You always have. I see the other mortals and I wonder how I got so lucky to have a Champion as loyal as you. I’ve seen into those other worlds, in my dreams. I’ve seen the world where she loved you, where I loved you, well not you but another you.” “Spark. He was called Spark.” he chuckled, explaining to save her the confusion. 

“But in that world I saw what became of her after he was gone. The destruction she caused without him by her side. But then she met you, this you. You did so much for her, for us. The others were so cruel to you but you only did what you felt was best and best for her.” He looked away from her then, but did not let go of her hand. He was ashamed of some of the choices he’d made in the name of balance. Cruel, foolish, selfish choices justified by claiming they were for the greater good. “And I was wrong. She-” He swallowed, closing his eyes “-she died. Because I couldn’t help her. Because I wasn’t strong enough.” 

“Jordan.” She sighed, looking to him with empathy in her eyes. “It’s not your fault. Such things are bigger than any one man. You did everything you could to help her and keep her safe and happy until it was her time and still even after. But there was nothing more you could have done. It is the nature of fate. We all have our destinies to face. Be they discorporating or spending a thousand years in chains. There is nothing we can do to change them.” 

He knew she was right, that they had to simply accept what was to come. He and Tom had discussed it soon after coming to the understanding that they were in the past. They could not tamper too much. Who knew what might happen if they accidentally changed the timeline? But now Jordan was realizing something. 

When he arrived on that Island of ‘Mianite’ where Tom and Tucker had decided to create their land, Mianite and Dianite both had been alive and well. Ianite had been the one languishing in a prison at Dianite’s hand, her heart stolen and hidden away. Ianite’s followers had been the ones to die under Furia’s attacks. Ianite’s temple and holy city had been what had burned. Ianite was the one who’d been neglected and forgotten by the brother that was supposed to be the ‘Good Guy’. How in any way was it considered balanced for the Goddess of Balance to undergo such trauma while her brothers went about their lives with leisure? And even in Ruxomar, it had been Ianite who’d sacrificed herself to return the balance to the realm after Mianite and Dianite had sent it into flux. Why was she the one who must always suffer?

“But what if,” Jordan said slowly, the words already tasting treasonous on his tongue, “we changed yours?” 

~

When she was a young girl, Ianite had a dream of a crystal castle in the sky. She dreamed of the castle often, of its beautiful impenetrable walls and decoratively barred windows. To a girl it seemed enormous, an endless maze of hallways and corridors. But try as she might, she could never find the door.  As she got older the castle in her dreams grew smaller and smaller until it began to feel not like a palace, but a prison. Burning shackles began appearing on her wrists each night, searing and branding scars upon her skin as she struggled to escape. What had once been a dream became a recurring nightmare. 

Mother, despite having never heard Ianite’s dreams, told her bedtime stories of a woman who was locked away in a crystal tower, awaiting rescue from a hero. He would come and it was with only his help that she would come into her own and reach her truest potential. It didn’t take long for Ianite to put the pieces together. This was not a fairy tale, but one of Mother’s visions. It would be her fate to see that dungeon and it was only by surviving that she would grow to become the Goddess she was destined to be.  

From that moment on Ianite vowed that she would subvert her fate. She would never lay eyes on that place, not if she had anything to say about it. She may not have access to the fullest extent of her powers but she was still a fledgling Goddess. She would fight tooth and nail to reach the potential that was promised to her, with or without the hero. 

Her own visions began after Mother was gone. They were not prophetic, not like Mother’s had been. It took Ianite some time to realize that she was seeing glimpses into other realities. She was always herself, that much she knew, but in every reality things changed. In some she was a Goddess, in others a human, in yet others still she was neither. One of these visions was different from all the others, so much so she was not sure it was the same thing at all.

She was in a cavern lit only by scant torchlight. Before her was a hooded figure, sat at a writing desk. She heard the scratching of a quill on parchment then the tap of the quill being set aside. “I wondered when I might see you.” A man’s voice greeted. He stood and stepped away from the desk, turning to face her. His face was shrouded in darkness in the depth of the hood but still she felt as though she could not break his gaze. “I’m so pleased that you have begun to come into your powers, my daughter.” 

“Father?” She’d never known her father. Mother had never spoken of him aside from passing references twisted within her prophecies. She did know enough to know he was powerful, far stronger than she or her brothers. Mother had claimed it was their destiny to defeat him and rid his darkness from the world but only after they reached their fullest potential and strength. A task which could not be accomplished without the help of a mortal hero. Something Ianite was trying to avoid, seeing as it required her to be imprisoned for Gods knew how long. 

“You are unhappy with your destiny.” He stated. She said nothing, frightened into silence. She could feel the sheer force of power that radiated from him, dark and roiling like a deep turbulent sea. “No need to speak my child. I know what you seek. It’s why you have come to me. You, a daughter of creation, are scared of a lifetime of suffering and pain. Scared of relying upon another to free you from what would otherwise be an eternal prison.” he turned away, back towards the desk. She saw now that upon it lay a book bound in crimson leather, the ink within still shiny and fresh. “I’m not surprised by your fear, young one. Your Mother, while she possessed a great many qualities, tact was never one of them. But it is no matter. I am able to offer you what you wish. In fact, you could not have arrived at a more opportune time. I have just finished crafting the only spell you will require.” 

Wariness filled Ianite, she’d paid attention well in her lessons despite working against her future. She knew that no magic, particularly magic this strong came without a price. If her feelings were correct, this price would be a costly one. But if this were to be her only option, what choice did she have?  She watched as he closed the book then turned it so the spine rested upon the desk. He lifted a candle the color of the deep black void from its holder, tipping it so that wax dripped upon the fore edge and both covers, sealing it shut. He pressed a seal into the cooling wax then laid it back on the desk. 

“But, I fear, you are not yet ready for it. A pity, truly.”

“I’m ready.” She’d found her voice but the words did not hold the conviction she had hoped, coming out wavering with nerves. 

He didn’t even entertain the thought, scoffing in disappointment. “You are weak. You and your brothers both. I could kill you with a thought. But I will refrain, simply out of interest to see if one day you might be strong enough to tame my magic.” He turned back to her and raised a hand. “We will meet again one day my daughter, and perhaps then you shall impress me.” He flicked a finger and then she was waking up back in her bed.

She had a path now. A goal to strive towards. She would find that book and learn the spell. She would not allow her destiny to come to pass. No matter what it cost. 

When the mortals arrived many many years later Ianite was just as surprised as her brothers. Her visions in the days leading up to their arrival had been filled with images of a man who changed little from reality to reality. In one he was her husband, in another her caretaker, her knight, her son, her servant, her confidant, many things but always close and always trusted beyond measure.  When she opened her eyes in that temple, he was before her and suddenly she understood what the visions had been trying to show her. He was the hero from Mother’s prophecies. He was the one who was destined to save her from that crystal prison. He was not just her hero in that time but in all times, he was her Champion. Her one true follower. 

She got to know him over the next weeks. He was clever, shy, funny, strong, quiet, patient, driven, level headed. She enjoyed simply speaking with him of everything and nothing. It was during one of their conversations that she learned of the life he’d lived before this one, of the world of far advanced magic and technology. It fascinated her to hear the details from a world she’d only seen glimpses of, but this led him to admit that that world had not been the first. That was when the theory he and the Zombie shared came to light. She understood then, he came from the future Mother had prophesied. A future where Ianite had been unable to accomplish her goals. They’d not yet figured out why they’d come back in time but it was then that Ianite’s plan became clear.

It was with his help that she would finally accomplish what she’d worked for almost her entire life. She’d felt her strength growing with each day she spent with him, with him at her side she would return to her Father’s temple and find the spell that would free her from her destiny once and for all. 

She got her first peek of what potential her Champion had when the Zombie renounced Dianite. Jordan didn’t entertain even a scrap of belief that it was the truth, his cleverness turning calculating in a single moment. She felt his anger when she gave Syndicate a chance, saw the building fury in his eyes when she insinuated her faith may be placed in the newcomer. Yes, her Captain, while clearly a kind and good man at heart, had the potential to be the knight and warrior she needed him to be. 

Her reassurances that his loyalty to her was not misplaced and that he would always be her favored champion were enough to calm his frustration with her but did nothing to temper his suspicions towards Syndicate. He stood at her side with his sword drawn as she formally accepted Dianite’s Fallen Champion, ice in his eyes. He was not happy about this, not at all. For what it was worth, she wasn’t either. It had been far too abrupt a shift to be anything but on purpose. Dianite had something in the works. 

She’d heard nothing from either brother for weeks, since before the mortals had arrived. She was under no impression that they did not both have plans of their own. She doubted they had the conviction she did however. They had very little to avoid in their futures, perhaps Dianite may fear giving into his chaotic nature but Mianite had nothing to be concerned about. She was the only one of the three with such high stakes. Which was why she was the one who must be the strongest. If either of them were able to over power her they would put a stop to her plans. If she changed the future for herself it would most certainly change it for them as well. She had to contain and surpass them before they could do the same to her. She did not think they knew exactly what her goal was, did not know of the existence of Father’s spell, but she had no way to know for sure. It was the reason she’d accepted Syndicate’s fealty. Let Dianite think he had her fooled, a man who thought his actions were going to plan was a man who let his guard down. 

She did learn another important lesson about her hero during this endeavor.  Even in his anger, he remained far too good a man to willingly go against his friends or the other Gods. She had his loyalty but how far would that last if she asked him to take up arms against the others? No, if everything she’d heard of his past dealings with the other versions of herself was true, asking him outright to do anything of that nature would go against his sensibilities. She had to approach this a different way. Slowly, patiently, carefully she would get him more used to who she was in this time. She was not the scorned woman she was destined to become, nor was she the desperate pivot of balance in a world crumbling to ruin. She, this younger version of herself aiming to change the future, was the Goddess of all facets of Balance. She was a Goddess of Justice and of Vengeance. Justice for herself and the suffering she was fated to endure. Vengeance against the brother who would lock her in that cage and the brother who would do nothing while she faced millenia of torment. For in her Captain’s timeline, such a thing had already occurred. That was reason enough to get her revenge. 

His loyalty to her would be the factor that led to her triumph. The lives he’d lived prior to this would be all she needed to convince him to see her side. Surely a loyal man such as him would not want to see her suffer. Surely he would not want to send her to that fate when he knew even more of what had happened than she herself currently did. The guilt he felt for ‘failing’ the last Ianite he had served would only aid her now. A man presented with a chance for penance would almost always seize it. She just had to get him to agree. 

~

“But what if,” Jordan said slowly, tentatively, well aware that what he was saying was not what he should be suggesting , “we changed yours?”  

“Jordan, what are you saying?” Ianite asked, pouring sweet and sickly innocence onto her voice. “We can’t change the future. It’s not right.”

“Neither was Dianite locking you in that prison for who even knows how long.” His voice was gaining certainty as he looked up from his hands and to her. “We have a chance to keep you from living through that. What if that was why I was sent back to this time? To prevent that from ever happening?” 

“None of the others will allow it. My brothers want that future. They want a future where they are strong.” “But why do you have to suffer so they have the chance?” There is was, the spark of anger in his eyes when faced with injustice. She’d seen it for more mild matters before but it was exactly what she’d hoped to bring forth. Weeks of subtle manipulation and reinforcing her own views of balance were coming to fruition. “Who decided that you were the one who had to lose so that they could win?”

“It’s no one’s choice. It simply is. My Mother’s prophecy saw what must happen. The three of you heroes are to lead us to our fates and our truest strength, for my brothers it occurs now, for me it is once you return my heart to me.” 

His eyes narrowed in determination and he squeezed her hand again, getting to his feet. 

“Good thing I’ve never put much stake in prophecies.” 

[misslavendertown]

🌹My thoughts on Steven universe future!🌹

WARNING this post contains a lot of steven universe future spoilers if you haven't seen the new episodes and don't want to be spoiled don't read. I would put a read more link below the warning but Tumblr mobile sucks.

Little homeschool

So Steven can heal corrupted gems using a mixture of what I expect are the diamonds escents? Maybe it's from the extraction Chambers? I can't remember what they're called but yellow's sauna and blue's bath.

Pamphlets about being uncorrupted. Kind of makes me think of those awkward puberty pamphlets you get from school.

The next few minutes are just the trailer.

Connie's preparing for college. I'm so proud. 😊

Pearl teaching gems how to use phones is just golden. Also Holo Pearl is back.

"took me forever to pull those puny green earthlings out of the ground" "you mean grass"

People are gonna hate me for saying this but I actually kind of feel bad for Jasper I think she's bored. She just wants to fight maybe she can take up boxing or wrestling. You know what never mind she'll kill the first person who steps in the ring.

F I G H T M E!

Steven putting a bubble around baby birds to protect them from him and Jasper's fight is purest thing I've seen on the show.

Pink Steven shows up but we already knew about that.

Steven seeking guidance from Jasper disturbs me. This obviously isn't going to end well.

Guidance

Guidance counselor amethyst!

Mr. Smiley has gem employees now maybe he can finally get some sleep. Does anyone remember that?

Amethyst assigned human jobs to the gems and a lot of them are doing jobs they did on homeworld. Steven has a big problem with that but I'm not going to be quick to judge him because I also had a problem with it and I'm sure I'm not the only one who did.

I thought little larimar would be smaller

Larimar and snowflake have I've powers. It's really hard not to make a Frozen joke.

Snowflake seems to have a "male" voice like rainbow 2.0 I think it's Ian Jones-Quarty voicing them but I could be wrong so don't get your hopes up.

I just hope people won't start thinking the gems have genders. The gems don't have genders and I'm tired of explaining that to people.

"I wish to hear the humans scream forever" - little Larimar 2019

Steven is becoming a bit of a control freak that must be the diamond in him.

Uncle Andy is back.

One of the rubies has a #1 body guard mug. I love the idea of a Ruby drinking coffee

As expected Steven forcing gems to do things they suck at goes horribly wrong and now there's all kinds of crazy stuff happening including a runaway rollercoaster.

SMOKY QUARTZ RETURNS!!

Pink smoky and they have super speed now or Steven has super speed. they're so fast everything is slow motion like that one episode of regular show with the double glazed apple fritters.

For some odd reason amethyst never questions Steven's new abilities but then again she probably doesn't know that it might be a bad thing.

Some of the gems actually enjoy what they did on homeworld. Amethyst is a really good guidance counselor I'm really looking forward to seeing more of this in the future.

"sometimes you save all the people and the rollercoaster still crashes into the ocean....and that's okay" words of wisdom.

Amethyst found out who she is and what she wants to do.

Larimar likes children and now she hands out prizes for them at one of the game stands.

"I love their laughter it's sounds just like screaming"

"OH NO WE FORGOT ONION!!! eh he's fine"

Onion is immortal apparently. Whatever it's onion don't question his logic.

Rose buds

The homeworld humans are back! They've taken control of the zoo after the diamonds freed everyone and now it's a cruise ship.

J10 and y6 being salty about Greg not choosening them. J10 annoyed at the amethysts for being lazy. I guess he doesn't realize that's how cruise ships work.

Holly blue agate and the famethyst are back! Holly doesn't know how to relax.

THE BUBBLED ROSE QUARTZ GEMS ARE FREE AND THEY ACT LIKE TEENAGERS. THEY'RE SO CUTE!

They consider Steven their hero and are super excited to see what the Earth has become since they've been. There's only three of them staying.

Steven feels overwhelmed by all their questions and accidentally invites them to dinner.

Only three of the roses come a bubbly rose, a laid back rose and the one we saw in the trailer

As expected it's super awkward for everyone the gang isn't ready to face them yet.

They call carrots carrot beans and it's so adorable. I love them so much.

Greg considers the human zoo humans his exes. He mentions he hasn't had this many exes in one place since and then he's cut off I would like to know more about Greg's exes and the incident he was talking about.

"I can feel the rest of my hair falling out!" -Greg Universe 2019 seriously though poor Greg.

They all hide in the bathroom.

The rose quartz want to stay with Steven. he's uncomfortable around them but doesn't want to seem rude and hurt their feelings or make them feel unwelcome.

SLUMBER PARTY!!!

Steven tells the roses how he really feels and turns out they were faking their feelings too. They're really hurt over what happened and they know what Steven is going through with the whole pink diamond fiasco and their conflicting feelings regarding her. It's a very sweet and touching moment between them.

Steven considers them siblings now because they were all created by pink diamond and understand what it's like living in Rose's shadow

I know they don't stay on earth with Steven but I hope we get to see the roses again before the series ends.

Volleyball

Doctor Steven > Doctor Mario don't @ me.

long necked Ruby is hilarious

Pink Pearl's crack can't be healed by Steven's spit.

She doesn't remember being under White's control which makes sense. She was under her control for 8000 years.

So Pink hurt pink pearl why am I not surprised? 😒

I think she's still grieving obviously. Again trailer stuff.

Pink pearl is older than pearl

Some Pearls were made on Earth and the facility doubles as a repair shop. It also has accessories basically it's like a place where you can get your phone fixed and shop for phone cases and other stuff.

Pink pearl is a ribbon dancer. That's what they're called right?

The problem isn't her gem it's a psychological thing.

Gems can damage their physical forms without damaging their gem. That's very interesting and I don't think we've seen this in the show before.

Pink had destructive tendencies It was a tantrum that hurt pink pearl after being denied a planet and gave her PTSD or something similar.

Maybe it was PD hurting Pink pearl that made the other diamonds realize she was a force to be reckoned with and that led to them giving into her demands and giving her Earth.

Seems like those destructive tendencies are starting to come out through pink Steven. Maybe the corrupted Steven theory is right?

Steven should really consider anger management but hey puberty will do that to you. Just kidding I am genuinely concerned.

Apparently the Pearls were both in denial and kept making excuses, never really accepting who PD really was. pink pearl kept saying "she didn't mean to hurt me" this is clearly a metaphor for abuse.

The crack must've been caused by her burying her feelings.

I swear rose/pink gets worse every episode I get she was abused herself but that's not a good enough excuse. Not saying I don't like pink diamond l just hate the things she's done.

I love how the two Pearls bonded over pink hurting them and how they never stopped hurting. it's so sweet and wholesome how can you not ship it? Pearl's gotta stick together.

PEARL FUSION SHE HAS A CAPE!!! SHE LOOKS LIKE A QUEEN!!

I'm assuming the fusion's name is red pearl.

I can't tell if it's a different voice actor playing the pearl or if Deedee is speaking in a low voice.

They didn't show pink Pearl's eye so whether or not if it's healed is up for interpretation.

I think this is easily my favorite episode so far.

[caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma]

Map of the Soul, Chapter Four

For the @btswritingcafe​‘s Map of the Soul: 7 Workshop

Pairings: OT7 x reader (kinda); Taehyung x reader x Jimin

Series Summary: If you give a piece of yourself to everyone you love, at some point, there will be nothing left for yourself. While feeling lost and alone in your adult life, a strange box falls onto your head in your own closet, and you take an unexpected walk down memory lane wondering where everything went wrong.  Was it the romances that fizzled out, the friends & loved ones you left behind, the “what could’ve been” moments, the brush with Fate that never quite connected? Could the strange map you find have the answers you are looking for?  Determined to feel complete once again, you embark on a journey to reclaim the missing pieces of your soul.

Genre: Angst, Fluff, A Lot of Smut

Word Count: 7k+

Warnings: cursing & vulgar language, alcohol consumption, sexual innuendos, mentions of previous sexual encounters, bisexual behavior, fingering, oral sex (m/f receiving & giving), spanking, unprotected/protected sex (rules exist for a reason, be safe), daddy kink, a sliver of degradation, orgasm denial, cream pies, anal play/sex, double penetration

Chapter Four: Just Filter Out the Bad, Keep the Good

Oh, Kookie.

You rolled your eyes and giggled at your phone screen as the bartender finally walked over to you.

“Can I get another Jameson and Ginger?” you shouted over the music. “And another Long Island Iced Tea?”

The bartender nodded in acknowledgement and began making your drinks. It was the third time tonight you’d made your way to the bar, but you couldn’t really complain. You were having so much fun, and Taehyung had the crowd half in love with him with his charming stage presence and his smooth honeyed vocal stylings.

“Thank you,” Taehyung crooned over the microphone. “I’m going to take a little break, but I promise, I’ll be back.”

A round of disappointment resounded through the bar, and you rolled your eyes at the ridiculousness of it all. You caught Taehyung’s eye and he motioned that he was going to go to the bathroom. After a quick thumbs-up, you picked up your drinks and made your way back to your booth to wait for him.

Almost twenty minutes passed and the ice in your drink was clinking against the bottom.

Where the hell is he? Men’s bathrooms don’t take THAT long in bars.

Realizing that this modern bar might actually have gender neutral bathrooms, you decided to go off in search of your soulmate. After making your way past the crowded tables, you rounded the corner and saw there were only a few people waiting in line, none of them Taehyung. You waited a few minutes and the line moved, but none of the individuals exiting the single stall bathrooms were him either. Confused, you started walking back toward the bar.

A throaty groan caught your ear as you walked by a darkened hallway. In the dim red light of the Exit sign at the end of the hall, you made out the distinct shape of Taehyung’s shoulders hovering over a smaller individual against the wall. The two were completely unaware of your approach as they were obviously occupied with other things at the moment.

“Seriously, Tae,” you mused. “Ditching me for a pretty face? That’s a real dick move.”

“Look, sweetheart,” a wispy voice exhaled. “I saw him first, so I’m gonna need you to step off, alright?”

That voice…

You inhaled sharply, staggered back a few inches with your eyes wide, and clutched at the non-existent pearls on your neck.

“Jiminie?” you squeaked out.

The two men ceased their makeout session abruptly, and Taehyung stepped aside to reveal plush lips, bright red hair, and big brown eyes blown out in shock.

“Jagiya?”

March 20th, 11:17 pm

“This next song goes out to my gorgeous soulmate,” Taehyung chirped into the microphone. “I’ve loved her since the moment she fell from Heaven and crushed my head on the playground.”

A round of “awwww”s reverberated across the bar, and you rolled your eyes at Taehyung and blew him a kiss. The music started up again and Taehyung went into full Elvis mode.

“Wise men say only fools rush in, But I can't help falling in love with you…”

“Wow,” Jimin groaned sensually. “Does his voice always sound like liquid sex poured over hot coals?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact,” you quipped. “Taehyung has a very special relationship with the microphone. They’ve been going steady for decades, but he’s always too cowardly to commit.”

“What do you mean, jagi?” Jimin grinned. “Does he not realize how good he is?”

“Oh, he knows,” you corrected him. “He just can’t handle the spotlight very well. In a bar, he’ll get brave, but put him on an actual stage with a real crowd, and he becomes an awkward mess of a man. It’s a mystery.”

“You’re kidding,” Jimin scoffed. “There’s no way that gorgeous hunk of man over there is ever awkward.”

“You’d be surprised,” you chuckled. “I know that man better than he knows himself.”

“I was pretty close to getting to know him myself,” Jimin bragged. “Someone just had to interrupt our steamy little makeout session back there.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Jimin,” you goaded. “Sure, you may have captured his attention, but he’d never really ditch me for another pretty face, including yours.”

“I don’t know, jagiya,” Jimin smirked. “Before you showed up, I already had him asking how far away my place was.”

“That may be so,” you smiled wickedly. “But I guarantee he wouldn’t ditch me. One look and he would be crawling back to me without question.”

You and Jimin stared one another down and your eyes battled it out for dominance. You sighed sweetly and blew a kiss to Taehyung, and he eagerly snatched out of the air and placed it in his lapel pocket. Jimin rolled his eyes at your dual displays of affection and chuckled.

That’s right. No one comes between me and my soulmate.

“So, what brings you back to town, Jiminie?” you giggled, changing the subject. “Let me guess, another frat party?”

“Yes, actually, I’m here for the fraternity’s centennial celebration,” he explained. “We had a whole ceremony and raffle fundraiser last night, and the house party is tonight.”

“I’m surprised you aren’t there now,” you gawked. “The Park Jimin I remember never missed an opportunity for a good frat party.”

Jimin giggled and ran his fingers through his hair, an old habit that always increased his allure. He leaned over and placed his hand on your thigh, provoking a rolling plain of goosebumps across your arms and legs.

“I’m not the same Jimin you remember, jagi,” he murmured while licking his lips. “A lot of things changed since we last saw each other. When was that, by the way?”

A bitter memory triggered in your brain and you gently pushed him away, free from his hypnotic seduction. Confusion traveled across his face and he cocked a questioning look at you, lifting an eyebrow for emphasis.

“It was during grad school,” you reminded him. “The Venetian Masquerade Homecoming party at your frat house?”

Jimin closed his eyes briefly and nodded gravely as the memory hit him as well. There was a tangible shift in his personality, and you knew Jimin was trying to figure out how to proceed.  He was an expert at tailoring his personality to fit the situation, but he seemed at a loss when you reminded him of the troubled past. You both sat there in silence, allowing the details to take shape in your mind once again. Taehyung chose that exact moment to intrude upon your conversation.

“Hey,” he shouted. “Who’s up next?”

Jimin glanced over to Taehyung and gave him a tight smile.

“I guess I am,” Jimin offered. “Any requests?”

“Sing me something sweet,” Taehyung pleaded. “I want my heart to burst with emotion.”

Jimin winked at Taehyung and glanced over to see if you’re looking at him. You were not. As Jimin headed over to the booth to choose a song, Taehyung pulled you close and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

“What’s going on, ttalgi?” he teased lightly. “I’d know that angsty look of yours anywhere. Are you and Jimin-ssi reliving painful memories from college?”

“Something like that,” you muttered “We didn’t exactly end on good terms the last time.”

“How so?” he recoiled. “Every time you’ve mentioned him in the past, it was always with glowing reviews of his sexual prowess. I’ve never once heard you say one bad thing about him.”

“Tae,” you grimaced. “Have you really never noticed that I stopped talking about Jimin a long time ago? Like almost 6 years now?”

“No,” Taehyung said carefully. “Why? Did he do something to hurt you?”

Taehyung stiffened against you as he shot a glare in Jimin’s direction. You were quick to calm the raging Papa Bear beside you. Taehyung was always quick to defend your honor, but it wasn’t necessary in this case.

“It’s not that simple, babe,” you sighed in defeat, lifting your eyes to stare longingly at Jimin. “We hurt each other...badly.”

“Hello, everyone,” Jimin announced on the microphone. “I’m Jimin, and I’m an asshole. That’s not a lie either. I hurt someone who is very special to me, and I never apologized. Because of that, I lost her and I don’t know if I’ll ever get her back and that sucks. Because I really care about her a lot and I just want us to be friends again because she’s amazing and I miss her. Jagiya, this song is for you.”

A powerful boom pumped through the speakers and Jimin began singing “Before I Cry” by Lady Gaga.

“I can't believe the things you said Right now I wish that you would try Try to stay near me Try to be near me”

“Oh damn, babe,” Taehyung breathed out in a rush. “He broke out A Star is Born? Bold move.”

Your eyes glistened as you concentrated on Jimin’s gaze, which never once wavered from your own. He was singing directly to you, and everyone else in the room just faded away. The delicate lilt of his voice was mesmerizing, and you braced yourself for the chorus, knowing he would be unleashing the full extent of his vocal power on you.

“'Cause I'm gonna cry If you say you don't need me I'm gonna cry if you act like you don't care Promise me, baby, you know I can't fake it Why don't you hold me? Tell me you love me before I cry”

You took note of the gloss covering his eyes after that last big note. He continued to sing, his heart pouring waves of regret and longing over you. His hands reached out for you emphatically as the song progressed and after he hit the last big chorus, he stepped off the stage to sing the last verse. With every step he took, he walked closer and closer to your booth until he was kneeling in front of you and reaching for your hand.

“Have I said what I needed to say? Have you said what you wanted to say? Did you say what you wanted to say? Would you try and stop me before I cry?”

The music stopped and you sucked in a sob before launching yourself into his arms. Jimin stood up and lifted you off the ground in a crushing hug. The room exploded into thunderous applause and they cheered loudly when you pulled back and kissed Jimin on his full lips. He released you and you brushed away the tears trailing down his chubby cheeks. He smiled brightly at you and then remembered he still had the microphone in his hand.

“Oh, thank you,” he laughed in embarrassment. “I guess that worked pretty well, huh? Who’s next?”

Jimin handed off the microphone to the next singer and you pulled him back into the booth with you. Taehyung was leaning on his fists while shooting heart eyes at Jimin who countered with his own half-moon eye smile.

“Jagiya,” Jimin said, turning to face you properly. “I really am sorry for what I did. I never meant to hurt you.”

“It wasn’t only your fault, Minnie,” you responded sweetly. “I said some pretty fucked up things to you that night also. Can you ever forgive me?”

“So, is anyone going to tell me what the fuck is going on?” Taehyung interrupted rudely. “All I seem to understand is that you fucked up, you stopped talking, and now you’re making up. Can someone please fill in the blanks?”

You and Jimin giggled at Taehyung’s flabbergasted expression and decided to take pity on him.

“Jimin and I were supposed to go to a masquerade ball together a while back,” you began. “We even got matching costumes.”

“We were never officially a couple, but people just knew we had a special relationship,” Jimin continued. “But it didn’t stop us from playing the field.”

“However,” you cut him off. “That night, we’d agreed to stick together for once. No one else, just us.”

“Oh shit, I see where this is going,” Taehyung squealed. “Sorry, you were saying?”

“Anyway,” you sighed. “We were doing fine until the jello shots started circulating. You know I can’t resist a good jello shot and neither can Jimin.”

Taehyung nodded enthusiastically, and Jimin pulled you closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I caught her making out with some hot cheerleader in the kitchen,” Jimin explained. “So I got mad and pulled her away.”

“In my defense,” you countered. “I had just seen you nibbling on that guy’s ear on the patio.”

“You were the one giving that guy a lap dance on the couch,” Jimin shot back.

“Only because you grabbed that girl’s ass on the way to the bathroom,” you spat.

“Yo,” Taehyung cut in. “I get it. You guys are stupid competitive and extremely jealous. Continue the story.”

You and Jimin both laughed at Taehyung’s outburst.

“We ended up having a full on public shouting match in the front yard of the frat house,” you sighed. “Not gonna lie. It got pretty ugly.”

“People thought we were having an actual breakup,” Jimin scoffed. “After we said some pretty nasty things to each other, I got mad and told her to leave the party.”

“He disappeared into the frat house,” you muttered sadly. “The last thing I saw was him pulling some guy and girl into a back room. He flipped me off before he slammed the door in my face.”

“Nothing happened,” he explained. “I just wanted to piss her off. When I left the room a few minutes later, they told me she’d left in tears. I felt like shit about it, but I was still pissed. I got blackout drunk and woke up under the kitchen table in my underwear.”

“Sounds like a good party,” Taehyung giggled. “So what happened after that?”

“I left back home,” Jimin said. “I didn’t apologize because I thought it was her fault.”

“And I didn’t apologize because I thought it was his fault,” you continued. “We haven’t spoken or seen each since then, at least until tonight. We were so fucking stupid. It’s not like we were dating or anything.”

“Yeah, you two should never date,” Taehyung declared. “Look at how horrible you were to each other. That shit would get toxic real quick.”

You and Jimin looked back at one another and he placed a kiss on your forehead. You both sighed and hugged it out once again.

“You’re probably right, Tae-bear,” you admitted. “It just sucks that we weren’t able to fix things back then. I feel like we lost out on so much.”

“I’m willing to do a hard reset if you are, jagi,” Jimin suggested. “I really have missed you. Want to be friends again? We can just erase everything that was bad and just focus on the good stuff and all the fun times we had.”

You rolled the idea over in your mind and then an idea struck you. You promptly scooted him out of the booth, and with a wide smile spreading across your face, you grabbed onto his hands.

“Let’s do our song,” you cheered. “That way it’s really official!”

“Oh, jagiya,” Jimin pouted. “I’m definitely filing that under bad stuff. Besides, you know I can’t perform without the proper attire. There is only one way you’ll get me to sing that song, and I seriously doubt you have what I need.”

“Oh my gods,” you huffed out in bewilderment. “No fucking way.”

“I’m sorry, jagi” he teased. “You know my rule: no sequins, no song.”

You crawled over the table and grabbed your clutch from next to Taehyung. You reached inside and pulled out the gold sequined bow tie and held it up for Jimin to see. He blanched at the sight and the shock on his face was tangible.

“Where the fuck did you find that thing?” Jimin spat. “I thought I burned that in the bonfire!”

“I have no idea,” you grinned triumphantly. “But you owe me a song now, sir. Let’s go, 가자!”

You pulled the bow tie over Jimin’s head and adjusted it. He grimaced and whined as you pulled him over to the booth to fill out the song request. You both grabbed a microphone and you pushed a very reluctant Jimin onto the stage.

“Hello, everyone,” you greeted sweetly. “I brought this adorable gentleman up here for one more song. Wasn’t he just lovely earlier?”

Everyone applauded and Taehyung stood up to whistle and whoop like a crazed fan. You beamed at Jimin who gave you the fakest petty smile he could muster. You leaned up to kiss him on the cheek and he gritted out a faint, but spiteful “I fucking hate you” under his breath. You winked at him cheekily and poked your tongue out in response.

A series of electronic snare drums snapped and synthesizer beats popped out of the speakers and an exuberant “Yeah” and “Woo” filled the air as Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” kicked off.

You and Jimin switched off every other line like a proper duet, and the crowd was eating it up. You alternated little dance moves around each other with cute poses, and you even pulled his arms around you during the chorus, which of course, everyone sang with you.

When the song was done, you both received a standing ovation from the entire bar, and even the bartender applauded enthusiastically. When you finally made your way back to the booth, a waitress showed up with a round of fruity red shots called Washington Red Apples, courtesy of the elated bartender.

“Well,” you cooed at the grumpy Jimin next to you. “That is definitely the best friendship renewal I’ve ever been a part of. Can you even think of a better way to make up than that?”

“I know a better one,” Taehyung remarked with a smirk.

You and Jimin looked up at each other and then at Taehyung. The devilish look on his face transferred onto Jimin’s and then made its way onto your own. You took the shot glass between your fingers and held it out to propose a toast.

“To renewed friendships,” you grinned. “Among other things.”

You all clinked your glasses and downed your shots. It only took a second after for everyone to take action.

“Tae-bear,” you purred. “Close out our tab. Jimin and I will meet you in the car.”

March 21st, 1:07am

The drive back to your apartment was a blur, a steamy blur full of well placed kisses, hot visuals, and a plethora of wandering hands.

After Taehyung pried you off of Jimin’s lap in the back seat, he handed you the keys and ordered you to drive since you were the only one who knew how to get to your apartment. In the meantime, Jimin was pulled onto Taehyung’s lap in the backseat and you were treated to quite a show in your rear view mirror. The moans and groans emanating from the backseat were causing quite a stir in your panties. In fact, the thin material was noticeably sticking to your dripping folds as you parallel parked the car in front of your apartment building.

“Everyone out,” you barked. “Let’s go!”

The two entwined bodies groaned at your command, and refused to move out of the backseat. Beyond aggravated, you leaned in and grabbed onto both heads of hair and pulled back harshly. Both men whined and moaned lightly, but both also knew better than to pull away from your claws. You knew both of their kinks to the letter, and pain was at the top of the list.

That’s right, boys. I’m in charge here.

“I said,” you growled. “Let’s go.”

They quickly exited the vehicle as soon you released them, and all three of you hastily made your way inside of your apartment, promptly locking the door behind you.

The dogs had been walked and fed before you’d left the apartment, so they briefly greeted you at the door, and then huffed out snorts of derision at your choice of nighttime activities.

Jimin got excited when he saw Oberyn and Yeontan, but you and Tae were quick to pull him back into the fold, promising proper introductions later.

Much later.

After a flurry of clothing and shoes tossed from the front entrance to your bedroom floor, you found yourself completely naked and standing at the edge of your bed wedged between two deliciously sweaty naked men who were pressing open mouth kisses all over your body. You could barely differentiate between Taehyung’s playful nibbles and Jimin’s soft suckling against your skin. In perfect synchronization, Taehyung and Jimin latched on to opposing sides of your neck, drawing an impatient moan from your lips.

That’s definitely gonna leave a mark.

Jimin pulled you back slightly and kneeled between you and Taehyung, gripping his hands onto each of your thighs for balance.

“Allow me,” he hummed. “After all, I am a guest in your home.”

With fluid precision, Jimin grasped a hold of Taehyung’s throbbing cock and began stroking it from tip to hilt while simultaneously pulling your swollen clit between his lips. You and Taehyung let out gasping moans in unison while holding onto each other for support.

“Didn’t I tell you the man had talent, Tae?” you hummed. “Ah, Jimin…”

You couldn’t even start your next sentence because Jimin was slipping his tongue into your folds and lapping up every drop of essence collecting between your thighs. Taehyung gaped at the sight while trying not to blow his load over Jimin’s skillful ministrations.

“Holy fuck, babe,” he groaned. “You totally undersold him. He’s like some kind of wicked little sex fairy.”

Jimin giggled against your slippery folds before placing a fat kiss on top of your clit. He sat back on his heels and pursed his glistening lips at Taehyung.

“Sucking dick doesn’t make me a fairy, Taehyung,” he teased. “But I guarantee it will feel magical when I get that fat cock between my lips.”

Switching it up, Jimin plunged two fingers into your hungry hole while licking a long wet stripe up the front of Taehyung’s girthy length. Your eyes locked onto Jimin’s bouncing red hair as he sucked on Taehyung’s dick like a juicy popsicle. Neither his fingers nor his tongue slowed their actions as Jimin turned both of you into hot moaning messes.

“Jimin...ah...baby,” you whimpered. “We need to get horizontal before I fall. My legs are...ah...about to give out.”

Taehyung slid his hand down your side to steady your waist, but found it difficult to concentrate with Jimin’s never-ending onslaught of pleasure. You could see Taehyung’s eyes rolling back in pleasure each time Jimin lowered his head onto his crotch. The erotic sight only spurred your arousal forward, leaking all over Jimin’s fingers as he artfully fingered you.

“Tae,” you whispered. “I can’t...ah...I can’t hold...ah…”

You couldn’t even form coherent sentences at that point because not only was Jimin curling and dragging his fingers along your G-spot, he was also brushing against your clit with every stroke. It was heavenly, but also sent you tumbling forward into oblivion without anything to hold you up.

Taehyung took mercy on you and grabbed a hold of Jimin’s scarlet locks. After pulling Jimin’s mouth further down his length a few times, he pulled his wicked little sex fairy off his dick and to his feet.

“My soulmate needs a bed,” Taehyung gritted out. “Now.”

“Flattering,” Jimin chirped while licking his lips. “But we’ve only just met, Taehyung. Don’t you think soulmate is a bit much?”

Taehyung seized Jimin’s head and devoured his lips, while still holding you up. After a clash of teeth and tongue, Taehyung pulled Jimin’s bottom lip between his teeth and bit down harshly. Jimin’s aching whimper drew your attention, but you struggled to focus on anything with Jimin’s fingers pumping into you.

“I wasn’t talking about you, Jimin,” Taehyung growled. “I was talking about her.”

Jimin offered Taehyung a mischievous smirk and nodded coyly. He motioned for Taehyung to get behind you as he focused all of his attention and energy on you. They eased you onto the bed keeping you on your knees, and your legs were happy to oblige the shift in balance. Jimin pulled you closer and licked his way into your mouth and you began attacking his lips with your own. He swallowed each whine and moan as his fingers began to pick up speed.

Taehyung took this opportunity to kneel behind you and run his hands over the globes of your ass, relishing the plumpness in the dim lamplight.

“How does your ass always look this perfect, ttalgi?” he mused. “It’s extraordinary, and totally unfair.”

He reared his palm back and brought it down firmly against one cheek and then the other. With each spank, you cried out wantonly, much to the delight of both men.

“She loves it when you spank her,” Jimin chuckled. “This vixen loves pain.”

“I know,” Taehyung shot back after delivering yet another smack to your ass. “She’s my soulmate. It’s my job to know these things.”

“Oh yeah?” Jimin quipped. “You think you know more than I do? I’ve probably made her cum more times than you have.”

“It’s not about quantity, Jiminie,” Taehyung bragged. “It’s about quality.”

Taehyung punctuated his statement with one last slap across your reddening cheek and then leaned against your back. He cupped both of your breasts and began pulling at alternating nipples, loving the throaty moans you emitted with each tug. You started rubbing your ass against his hardened length, and Jimin chased after your creamy center, determined to regain your attention.

“She needs multiple stimuli,” Taehyung explained while leaning forward to pull your earlobe between his teeth. “She’s a dirty girl who wants everyone to touch her, to feel her, to own her, isn’t that right, ttalgi?”

Your moans were reaching a fever pitch, and Taehyung knew what you needed to hear to reach the apex of your climax.

“Come on, baby,” he purred against the shell of your ear. “Be a good girl and let Daddy hear you scream.”

The knot of pleasure in your core tightened sharply and snapped. You cried out as the orgasm quaked across your body in a frenzy, the sensations more pronounced in the areas where you were being touched. Your nipples tingled, your clit pulsed, and your ears were ringing.

You collapsed back against Taehyung’s chest and let out a blissful sigh of satisfaction. You opened your eyes when you heard a wet noise near your face and got an eyeful of Taehyung licking your essence from Jimin’s fingers.

“Mmmm delicious as always, babe,” Taehyung swooned. “You have no idea how good you taste, do you?”

“How good?” you giggled.

“Exquisite,” Jimin hummed after licking the remnants from Taehyung’s lips. “I seriously missed that flavor on my tongue, jagiya. It’s only gotten better with age.”

“Right?” Taehyung expressed with a boxy grin. “I was going to say that too!”

The two of them high-fived and you groaned at their childish behavior.

“If you two assholes are just going to sit there and call me old while high-fiving, I’m so fucking done,” you spat. “I got mine already.”

You tried to move away from them, but they both moved swiftly to pull you back into their arms with a whine.

“Where do you think you’re going, dirty girl?” Taehyung teased while grinding his still hard cock against your ass. “You aren’t done until we say you are.”

“And we are far from done, jagi” Jimin promised. “How about we change things up a bit?”

They laid you back on the mattress and you stretched out your limbs, trying to shake the tension out of your muscles. Taehyung reached into your side table to pull out the box of condoms he knew you had. Jimin pressed his body against yours, trailing his fingertips from your neck down to your hip. You both looked up at Taehyung when he cleared his throat.

“Ok, ttalgi,” he began. “Are we sticking to our usual rules with Jimin here? It’s your call.”

“What are the usual rules?” Jimin asked. “She and I only had two rules: wear a condom and be honest about what we liked or didn’t like.”

“We have something similar, but with variations,” Taehyung explained. “Condoms for any assplay, colors for safewords, consent is always confirmed, aftercare is mandatory, and open, honest communication.”

“Condoms only for assplay?” Jimin gulped. “What about vaginal play?”

“I have my birth control implant,” you told Jimin while pointing out the spot on your arm. “Taehyung and I have always been vigilant about staying clean and we get tested every other month, even when we aren’t sexually active.”

“So, I guess the question we have is,” Taehyung expressed kindly. “What about you, Jimin? What do you want to do?”

Jimin sat up on one elbow and shifted his doe eyes between you and Taehyung. He couldn’t believe what you were offering.

“Jagi,” he breathed out. “We’ve never gone bare...like ever. I’ve never gone bare with anyone actually.”

“I know, Jiminie,” you expressed tenderly. “I’ve only ever trusted Tae-bear with something like that. But I know how careful you are, and I’m sure that hasn’t changed. If you’re comfortable with it, then I’m willing to trust you as well.”

You reached up to cup his cheek and he leaned in and kissed your palm gingerly with his swollen lips. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky exhale.

“Nothing’s changed,” he finally responded. “I’m still careful, I still get tested, and I’m still clean. If you really trust me, then I trust you too.

He pressed a chaste kiss on your lips and sat up to pull Taehyung in for a kiss as well.

“I trust both of you,” Jimin proclaimed. “I know I just met you, Taehyung, but if my jagiya trusts you with something like this, then who am I to argue with her logic?”

Taehyung smiled at Jimin’s words and reached over to stroke your cheek affectionately. You all took a deep breath as the electricity in the air increased exponentially. The soft caresses on skin transformed into overzealous gropes, and the quiet exhales became heated moans and needy whines. You decided to take the lead this time and climbed onto Jimin’s chest, asking for permission to ride his face, to which he quickly consented. As you settled over his ravenous lips, Taehyung instigated a rather noisy blowjob behind you, pulling Jimin’s angry red tip between his lips and slurping at the precum spilling over the edge.

“Fuck,” Jimin gasped out beneath you. “You couldn’t give me a warning, Tae?”

“Do you want me to stop?” Taehyung pouted. “Just say the word, Jiminie.”

“No, please don’t stop,” Jimin begged. “Keep going.”

You looked back over your shoulder and grinned wickedly at Taehyung. The smirk on his handsome face was mesmerizing, and you returned it in kind. You lowered your soaking wet heat to Jimin’s lips once again as Taehyung swirled his tongue around Jimin’s girthy penis.

Jimin inhaled sharply through his nose and moaned out into the flooded depths of your vagina. He dug his nails into your hips and you cried out erotically. For every lick and suck Taehyung unleashed upon him, Jimin paid it forward to your gushing center.

“Jimin,” you moaned. “I’m getting close.”

Taehyung slapped his palm against Jimin’s thigh, causing him to hiss and moan into your drenched thigh.

“What was that for?” Jimin protested.

“Don’t let her cum yet, Jiminie,” Taehyung instructed. “Let’s see how far we can edge her out.”

You whipped your head around to glare at Taehyung’s smug face and scowled deeply at him. He knew you hated edging, but he also knew that you came especially hard when edged. You pouted at him and he cocked an eyebrow at you before pulling off of Jimin’s dick with an audible pop.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, babe,” Taehyung relented. “But I promise it will feel amazing if you let it happen.”

He winked at you playfully and you couldn’t resist the boxy grin he shot your way before diving back onto Jimin’s glistening cock. You watched him dip and twist his mouth up and down Jimin’s stiff shaft, even dragging his tongue below the base and flicking along Jimin’s scrotum. Jimin was quickly unraveling underneath Taehyung’s expert skills, and he suddenly lost his concentration on you when Taehyung started licking lower between his legs.

“Ttalgi, come here, quickly,” Taehyung commanded.

You released your hold on the wall and dismounted Jimin’s face, which was contorting into a mask of pure pleasure thanks to Taehyung. He started stroking Jimin’s shaft in time with his tongue barrage.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jimin moaned out. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do you want to cum inside her, Jiminie?” Taehyung cooed. “Want this dirty girl to sink down on this hard cock and soak up your hot sticky load?”

Jimin couldn’t verbalize anything, but he nodded desperately and started flailing his arms in search of you. Taehyung positioned you just above Jimin’s dick and held you in place.

“When I say sit, babe,” Taehyung quirked. “Sit down and ride him into his orgasm, ok?”

“I’m ready, Tae-bear,” you agreed wholeheartedly. “Just tell me when.”

After a few more strokes, Jimin’s hands clenched against the sheets and he threw his head back harshly.

“NOW,” Taehyung commanded while lowering you safely onto Jimin’s lap.

As soon as your thighs connected with Jimin’s, he let out a cry of unbridled passion and thrusted up into you like a madman possessed. His eyes were blown wide and he couldn’t stop pulling you onto his dick even as he shot out jets of cum, painting your walls in white. The sexual tempest finally abated and Jimin slumped against the pillows and let out a long audible breath laced with amusement.

“Holy shit,” he exclaimed. “That has to be the most incredible sensation in the world. Jagiya, why have I never plunged into your Cave of Wonders bareback before?”

“Because we were both busy being responsible adults, Aladdin,” you quipped. “Or maybe I should call you Genie since Tae referred to you as a magical sex fairy.”

“He can call me whatever he wants if I’m going to get this kind of treatment,” he giggled. “But, I’m worried about him, jagi. He hasn’t been given proper attention just yet. We should really help him out, don’t you think?”

You chuckled and pulled yourself off of Jimin then propped yourself up on all fours, wiggling your ass slightly to entice Taehyung forward. He shook his head and eased onto the bed behind you. He reached between your legs to see if you needed additional lubrication, but the deluge he slipped into told him you were more than ready.

“Look at this mess you two made,” he commented in astonishment, while licking the combined cum from his fingertips. “Just like a creamsicle on a hot summer day.”

Taehyung slid the blunt head of his stiff cock along the crease of your sopping wet pussy and then slowly pushed his way in. He groaned as each inch disappeared from sight and he gave a small thrust to fit the last few inches snugly inside. You whimpered at the stretch and lifted your head to meet Jimin’s amused stare.

“What a naughty girl we have here, Tae,” Jimin cooed. “All stuffed full of cock and she still looks like she wants more. Should I give you more, jagiya?”

When all you could do was whimper weakly at Jimin’s entreaty, so Taehyung pulled your hair back and thrust forward sharply. Jimin was enthralled by the fucked out look on your face and leaned forward to lick into your open mouth.

“Jiminie asked you a question, ttalgi,” he hissed in your ear. “Don’t disappoint Daddy and ignore our guest. Now, do you want more cock or not?”

“Yes,” you begged desperately against Jimin’s plushy lips. “Want him in my mouth, Daddy. Can I? Please?”

Jimin chuckled at your pleas and leaned over to lure Taehyung into another heated kiss.

“Daddy kink, huh?” Jimin teased as he pulled away. “That’s a new one for me.”

“It only works when I do it,” Taehyung grunted. “You can call me Daddy too, if you like?”

“We’ll see how I feel later,” Jimin smirked. “For now, let’s stuff this naughty little slut full of cock.”

Taehyung picked up the pace as he pistoned his aching dick deep into your womb. Jimin stroked his own cock until he had half an erection and then ran the tip across your lips.

“Open up, jagi,” Jimin crooned sweetly. “I’ve got a treat for you.”

You eagerly opened wide and allowed Jimin to place his hands on your head to hold you in place while he fucked into your mouth. You hollowed your cheeks and slurped him down until he was hard and quivering against your tongue.

“Ah, fuck yes,” Jimin squealed. “Just what I needed. Thanks, jagi.”

Jimin pulled out of your mouth and you whined in protest. He brushed the saliva from your lips and planted a fat kiss on them before disappearing from your sight.

Taehyung took your distraction as an opportunity to pull you up against his chest so he could play with your clit as he fucked up into you. He read your impending orgasms carefully and pulled back each time the crest threatened to break across your threshold. He appeased your adorable tear-streaked face with sweet promises of “the best orgasm of your life.”

“You have to trust me, babe,” Taehyung sneered against your wet cheeks. “You’ll thank me when you fall over that edge, I promise.”

You were about to whine out another protest when Taehyung clenched against you unexpectedly.

“Oh, fuck,” he hissed against your temple. “You wicked little fucker. I should’ve kept an eye on you.”

“Yeah, you should have,” came Jimin’s voice from behind Taehyung. “I’m a sneaky bitch, did I forget to mention that?”

Jimin had sprung a sexy sneak attack with two lubed fingers currently seeking entrance at Taehyung’s back door. Taehyung released you back onto all fours so he could grant Jimin better access to his ass. He slowed his movements just long enough for Jimin to work his dick into Taehyung’s now well lubricated asshole. With all three of you connected, it took a moment or two to find a definitive rhythm together, but once you did, the fluid movements initiated a series of high pitched squeals and moans unlike any you’d heard before. Taehyung felt your walls clamping down into his dick and he gathered up enough focus to make an erotic suggestion.

“Jimin, wait,” he huffed out on a moan. “Let’s change positions. As much as I’m enjoying this, there’s something I want to try now that we have you here.”

Jimin pulled back and waited for Taehyung to continue. With a flick of his wrist, Taehyung reached over and gently pulled the condom off Jimin’s dick and smirked sinfully.

“I’ve never trusted anyone enough to double penetrate her,” Taehyung explained quickly. “Get inside her cunt and let me get a condom on.”

“Oh, shit,” Jimin gasped. “You’re fucking serious, aren’t you?”

“You bet your fine ass, I’m serious,” Taehyung gritted out while rolling on the condom. “This dirty little girl is about to blow and so am I. Daddy owes her the orgasm of a lifetime and he’s going to give it to her.”

You were just catching your breath, and you whimpered at the tightness in your clit.

“Guys, if I don’t cum soon, I’m going to fucking explode,” you growled. “So unless you want me to take care of this by myself, I suggest you get over here and finish the fucking job.”

“Oooh, jagi is feisty when she’s frustrated,” Jimin cackled. “I’ve never edged her, so this should be fun to watch.”

“I’m giving you a front row seat, Jiminie,” Taehyung beamed as he laid down beside you. “Enjoy the show.”

Jimin helped rearrange your body so that you were wedged in between them on the bed. After lifting up one of your thighs, Jimin slipped his bare cock into your swollen cunt, reveling at the raw feeling of your fleshy walls tightening around his dick. You were so wet and slippery that even Taehyung was surprised that he wouldn’t need much lube to get your asshole ready for him.

“I love it when she’s this strung out and horny,” he chuckled. “Makes it so easy for me.”

With a little help from Jimin’s fingers, Taehyung slipped beyond your puckered hole and buried himself into the glorious tightness of your ass. With both of your holes now occupied, you found yourself adrift in a sea of endorphins. The finish line was just beyond your sight and you cried out as you felt both cocks sliding across the thin membrane separating your cunt from your asshole.

“Tae,” you whimpered helplessly. “Jimin...please...I need you.”

“We’re right here, ttalgi,” Taehyung soothed. “Just let go. I’m not going to hold you back anymore. Just let it flow right through you.”

Jimin slipped his fingers down to rub against your clit and the combined sensations hurtled into your brain all at once.

“OH FUCK!” you screamed as you careened over the edge of your climax and tumbled into one spasm and after another, losing track of just how many orgasms Taehyung had stacked up for you throughout the course of the night. When the last one hit, your vision cleared just enough to catch Jimin’s awed facial expression as he watched you come undone. The glazed look in your eyes triggered his own climax and he shot another rope of sweet release deep into your quivering heat.

“Babe,” Taehyung grunted behind you, still pumping away. “I’m really fucking close. Where do you want it?”

You smiled wickedly and pulled Jimin close. He was still reeling from his last orgasm, but he offered you a small smile, wordlessly agreeing to whatever your face was suggesting.

“On our faces,” you moaned. “Cum all over our faces, Tae!”

It only took a few more well timed thrusts before Taehyung was pulling out and stepping over the two of you. He tossed the condom aside and pumped away at his shaft until he unleashed a cascade of semen all over your face and Jimin’s. He groaned wantonly as he watched you and Jimin lap up the streaks of semen from each other’s face.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” he conceded while throwing his head back in exhaustion. “I don’t know about you two, but I’m fucking spent.”

His knees buckled onto the mattress and you placed one last kiss on Jimin’s lips before rolling off the bed. You left the two of them gasping for breath on the bed while you retrieved some bottled water from the fridge.

“Oh, you angel,” Jimin preened. “Just what I needed.”

Once you all got back to a normal heart rate, you corralled both Jimin and Taehyung into the shower. You silently thanked your landlord for installing the wide shower stall with a built-in bench seat. The three of you fit comfortably in the shower together with a little room to spare.

After you were all cleaned up and refreshed, the boys changed the sheets and you gathered up extra pillows so you could all cuddle up on the bed. Jimin heartily agreed to the sleepover, and you were all thoroughly exhausted from your early morning romp.

Taehyung tucked both you and Jimin against his chest and sighed out with contentment. After kissing both of you on the forehead, he wished you good night and settled into his pillow. You and Jimin slipped your fingers together and snuggled against Taehyung.

As you faded into unconsciousness, you smiled and exhaled happily.

Damn, Universe. You’re on a roll.

The three of you drifted off to Dreamland as the dogs in the living room looked up with curiosity and growled at the black sparkles that flashed and pulsed from your coffee table and then vanished a moment later.

Author’s Note: (releasing my clenched thighs) Whew, is everyone ok after that chapter? I don’t know about you, but I need a long shower after that. I had so much fun writing this chapter and I made my betas all hot and bothered when they read it, so I assume it’s good. I hope you all enjoyed the Vmin playtime. Only three more chapters to go! 

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Chapter Three: The Beautiful Music We Used to Make

NEXT CHAPTER

Chapter Five: There’s Still Sunshine When He’s Gone

MAP OF THE SOUL MASTERLIST

@caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma​‘s MASTERLIST

[johnshelbysbabygirll]

Christmas with the Shelbys - JOHN SHELBY X READER

Words: 3403

hello again loves!!

i was soo excited to post this cause i really love Christmas imagines with all the family and cute things. and also drama cause we are talking bout Shelby family here.

i hope you like it and sorry for any mistakes, love ya xx

Christmas it is a wonderful holiday, your favorite actually.

Family, in this case your husband's family, means everything to you.

Your parents? You are not in a very good terms with them, not after you married John bloody Shelby.

But they all together in your house? Also with the kids...You know it wasn't a good idea.

Hell, everyone fuckin know it.

Every year for Christmas and New Eve you all had a family meeting at Polly's house, Thomas's or Garrison as usual, but this year John wanted to host both of them. This year he bought the house you and him always wanted, big enough for you two and five tireless kids - four with his first wife Martha and the toddler with you. Knowing that your relationship with your parents it's not the best, John wanted you to invite them too. After three years of marriage, four of relationship and a child together they should accept the idea by now. 

You were and still are very skeptical at this idea, but somehow excited. You want to make everything perfect and John understood why are you so perfectionist about it. You and your parents didn't spend a Christmas together since you started dating him and you don't regret it at all, but he is feeling guilty. Even if he knows that his family is your family now and they liked you for the first time anyway.

- John? You said in a questioning tone while putting your pearl earrings on.

- Ya? He was getting dressed with a nice black suite who looked very good on him. His hair was still messy for the things you did before and you smiled, remembering with not a shame his head between your legs. You needed that since you already feel panicked and John knew it, wanting to pleasure and relax his girl every time. He would spend the whole damn Christmas evening like this if he could. But you had commitments.

- No business tonight.

He smirked, but he was focused on the tie. You stand up from your chair still in your robe and you help him with the tie knot, making him look into your eyes when you're done.

- I'm serious, John. No business, no fighting, no drugs. Fuck, no fighting. You repeat knowing how Shelby men can get. You know too well.

He softly kiss your lips, pulling you closer to him and whispering.

- I will make sure the lads will behave. Now...How much time do we have?

Thinking at the fact that your makeup it's not finished yet and you are not dressed, even if you are the host, you answered.

- We don't. My parents are comin'. I can't be late.

Ten minutes later you slowly walked around the long table in your red long dress, making sure everything was in its place. You usually had two maids, one for the house and a nanny, but tonight you have four and John paid them double. The Christmas tree in the middle of the dinning room was huge and you remembered with a little laugh how frustrated your husband was because he had to decorate it with you and the kids for two hours and a half.

- They are here! Katie shout, excited to play with the others Shelby kids and she ran to the door, almost before the maid that opened the door for them.

- Ey, if it's not the most beautiful sister-in-law I ever had! Arthur greet you with a big smile and he hugs you, you doing the same with Linda and Billy, who were next to him. And also with Michael and Gina, her belly growing already.

- Oh, really? Lizzie raised an eyebrow and you hugged her and the little Ruby, who quickly managed to get to Katie. They are so sweet, playing innocently with their dolls.

Thomas looked at you as you greeted each other with smiles on your faces and Charlie was right next to him in a nice grey suit; he was so shy when you hugged him, deciding to do the same with his father as well. You know Tommy don't really like hugs, but he pulled his arms around you as well. Ada and Polly are right next to them and you kissed their cheeks.

- I'm lookin' at you and I already know you are going to be pregnant again in less than two months, Polly smirked and you blushed a little. I can see it already.

Ada chuckled and she looked at you with a warm glare.

- You look so beautiful, [Y/N]. You heard a little voice and you kissed Karl's cheek; he's such a good and smart little boy.

- And happy. You're glowing, sister. Ada speaks as she entered the house, followed by Finn, Isiah, Charlie and Curly who kissed your hand, making you laugh and try to stop him, so you could hug him as you did with everyone. Your kids greet everyone as well, happily and excited to play with the toys they had in their separate room, two nannies watching over the kids.

- Too bad you're my sister-in-law, Finn said joking and Isiah poked him with his elbow.

- Too bad she is mine, brother? John hugged you from behind as you were talking with the "little" Blinders and he pulled you to him by your waist, looking for a moment in other side for his kids.

Finn raised his hands in self defense and you all laughed, but when they walked away to get a drink, you turned to face John's beautiful face.

- You are fuckin gorgeous, love. The most beautiful woman Birmingham has ever seen. He whisper and slowly place kisses all over your face, that calming you down for a moment.

- Thank you love, you said smiling a little but you are nervous.

- They will come. Calm down for a bit, okay? I'm gonna get a drink. Want one?

He kissed your lips, but you declined his offer as you pulled him to your lips one more.

- Mrs Shelby? A few moments later a maid interrupted you as you talked with the girls, all standing by the fire and waiting for your parents. Eric is crying.

Your heart melts seeing your youngest child in tears, but as soon as you grabbed him he stop and he start giggling at his dad wanting his attention, but he was smoking and drinking at the table with the rest of the men, they all loudly talking and laughing. But even in that chaos in the dinning room, John's eyes managed to follow his son, seeing him crying and now he is smiling at the little baby, who is indeed he in miniature. He loves all of his kids the same, but right now Eric melts his heart and that's probably because he is more present now than he was with the other kids.

The maid announced you that you're parents are here and you can feel your hands tightened around Eric.

- They are here, you muttered to the girls as you slowly stand up and John did the same, following you to the door. A good vibe was coming from the dinning room as there was music and laughing, the kids were happily playing in their rooms, but you can feel yourself so strained.

- I'm here for you, love, always. He whispered to you and lovely kissing your lips, but Eric grabbed him by his jacket as he pulled away. Come ere boy.

You placed Eric in John's arms and opened the door, meeting the familiar, yet so unfamiliar, faces of your parents. They never been here before, they never met Eric, Katie, William, Edward or Joe. They just didn't know anything about you all this time and you nothing about them and it didn't bothered up.

- Hello mother, father. You force a smile and John touch your rear with the palm of his hand, knowing you need him to keep you calm.

- Welcome! This is our son, Eric Shelby. John said as the toddler was looking up at his parents and sometime at the strangers in front of him as they enter the house. His eyes are big and blue, his hair blonde and he have pink chubby cheeks.

-I'm glad to see you again, [Y/N]. It's been a while, your father talk only with you ignoring what John said.

- I'm happy to see you too, you reply but you mostly look at your mother. Polly has been a mother to you this time, but you look exactly like the woman that gave you life and when she hugged you couldn't pull away.

- He is adorable. And you two look happy together, she observed and she grabbed Eric's little hands. She even wanted to take him in her arms, but he started crying, not wanting to be taken away from his daddy. Thank you for taking care of her all this time, John.

Your father didn't seemed to happy to hear this, but you mother hugged John and you thought that maybe this was a start.

- As we wait for the food, I want to say something to you...To all of you.

John grabbed your hand and you both stand up with Eric in your arms as he was playing with your wedding ring, not paying much attention to anyone, even if everyone was now looking at you. The Shelby's were smiling, you parents not much.

- Let's hear you Johnny boy! Arthur screamed making everyone laughs, even you two.

- Carry on, Tommy smiled at you and you look confused.

- When I lost Martha, my first wife and the mother to my first children, I thought I will never be truly happy again. I thought that I will marry just for the sake of the business, but this one ere...She really bloody loves me. He said with a bashful smile on his lips as he gesture towards you.

- This one, [Y/N]...Made me realize that everything happens for a reason. I may be a fucker..

- You really are brother! Finn was the one who screamed now and he throw a table napkin at his brother who ignored his gesture as he was trying to find the better words. You tried to not look at your parents, theirs glare will annoy you.

- Ya, I know I am and she knows too, but she loves me anyway. Just as she loves this family. We may be fuckers...We may have fights, who usually end up worse than at any other families...But we will never let each other down, don't we.

- It's in our gipsy blood, Polly proudly smiled as she puffed on her cigarette and you smiled to her. You are a gipsy too and you are proud about it, but your parents aren't.

- We don't have this kind of nights too often and we don't openly talk to each other too often...But I know we love each other, John licked his lips and he looked at you. Your smile was big and proud as he took Eric in his arms.

- And I know I love you, [Y/N]. And I will protect you with my life.

In your stomach you feel the same thing you felt all this years with John; the same stomach knots that you'll never get rid off next to him and that was all that mattered. Your family was screaming and shouting as you kissed with smiles on your faces, remembering the night when John asked you to marry him. Eric screams as well in John's arms and you and your husband chuckled, knowing you found love and somehow peace.

- We are the Peaky fookin' Blinders, John screamed with a proud grin and he takes Charlie's Blinder cap and he puts  it on Eric who was confused but chuckled at his dad. You had happy tears in your eyes and as you wiped them away you saw your mother and father disapproval looks; you looked away.

- We are Gods! Arthur cheers with his glass of whisky in his hand and Tommy pulled the smoke out before talking with a grin.

- Not yet brother.

The first dish was placed in front of everyone, but your mother wasn't at the table anymore. You stand up, John's eyes following away as you talk with your father.

- Where's mum?

- Upstairs. She couldn't stand seeing what her daughter became...With this pikeys...And you call them bloody family? he mocks you and you growl. The kids weren't there and before you can think twice you grab his collar and pull him to you, not afraid at all.

- Listen to me father, you talk in the same mock tone with your face close to his; Isiah was next to your father, but no one moved as they listen to your words. You say one more bad thing about my people and I will get you the fuck out my damn house. You are here only because John insisted so shut your mouth. Your old man for sure hates your guts right now, ya know? He was proud to be a gipsy.

You heard chuckles at the table, but you didn't stand there more. You walked out of the dinning room, John following you just to shut.

- Ya need backup?

- No love. I have to handle this on my own.

You found your mother in the children room talking with them and this wasn't something wrong, but you smelled something so you just stand by the door to listen a little.

- You're old enough now to know about your father's business or it's not the time yet?

- What business? William your oldest son asked, not having a damn idea. He's just ten years old. You forced yourself to listen more.

- Okay kids, listen to me. I am your grandma and I want what's the best for you, but-...

- Why we didn't met you before? Karl asked as he was playing chess with Charlie. You smile proudly.

- [Y/N] never allowed me to. What I wanted to say was that...You know kids, your fathers are bad people. They are hurting innoc-...

You can't stand it anymore.

- Kids, have you all ate? You enter the room and the maids right after you. The kids food was served early and you smile at them; your heart just melts seeing them all together.

- Mommy, can we eat dessert now? Edward asked you, pulling by your dress to get your attention as you sent daggers with your eyes to your mother.

- Course baby. Veronica is bringing the dessert to you now. If you all want somethin, you told her okay?

They all nodded and you look at your mother who was too quiet now after she just told a lot of shit to kids. You pull her into a guest bedroom and after you close the door, you clench your fists.

- You crazy bitch! Wha was that? You trying not to scream, but you can't help it.

- How did you call me, [Y/N]? She was shocked, but before you can do anything, she slammed your over the cheek. Your head remain still for a moment and you bit your lip.

- I called you...Crazy bitch cause that's what you bloody are! What kind of mother told to innocent kids what they parents do for livin? They are toddlers!

- A mother that wants the best for her blind daughter! He spit at you with her voice full of venom and you mock her when you talk.

- Don't you dare give that shit to me.

She puff and when she starts talking again, she have a rotten smile on her face.

- But please tell me...What kind of mother are you, [Y/N]? What mother accept her kid living under the same roof with some criminals? With another woman's children? You really are this dumb? Leave this gipsy behind, take Eric with you and come livin with us. That's all I want and I know you will be happier.

- You are wrong...That's all you can say. You are so angry that you want to hit her for the shit she talks.

- Look at me and listen cause I am right to say that. If you don't leave now, John will do it first. When you will be all alone, you will come on your knees at us, [Y/N]. Listen to me.

You look away but you can feel the fire in your whole body, taking control over your mind. You had enough.

- Get the fuck out of my house. Now.

- [Y/N] don-...

That's all it takes for you to lose it.

You take out the knife that it's always on your leg under your dress and you grab your mother's chin, the knife pressing on her neck as you pushed her out of the door and on the stairs.

- Walk or I will cut your fuckin throat for talking shit about my husband.

The music was still playing in the dinning room, but you heard other noises as well. You heard breaking glasses, other screams and growls as you walked in, still holding your mother. You gasped when you saw John with a bloody lip, but everyone's attention was now on you. Your father was holding back by Finn, Isiah and Charlie and he looked out of his minds. He has a broken nose and a bloody mouth.

- How dumb you two are hitting on a Shelby in their damn house? You laugh and put the knife away. John is in shock as he came closer to you, not bothered by the blood.

- I thought you will be mad cause I hit your old man...I didn't wanted to..

- I'm not, you smile at John and look now at your parents. Get the fuck out of my house and you better pray you don't meet me ever again.

- [Y/N], we are still your family. Don't forget this, you will need us. Your father threaten you. Charlie, Isiah and Finn grab them to take them out, but they waited for your permission. John hand was now around your waist as he looked at you, waiting for you reply just as everyone.

- You're wrong. My family is right ‘ere. Leave.

John smirked proudly at his wife, just as everyone did. Tommy, Arthur and Polly are surprised that you protected them that fierce, that you care this much.

- Ey you truly are from this family, don't you [Y/N]. Arthur handed you the whole bottle of whisky and you took a swing, smiling after.

- I really fuckin am.

John hugged you from behind again, no more blood on his lip as he place kisses on the side of your neck, even if everyone was now looking at you two.

- Christmas with the Shelbys. You never know what to expect, Ada chuckled and the maids come in to clean all the mess.

You laugh at her words and drink again, John took a swing too from the bottle in your hands. He pulled you closer, you still holding the bottle as you reach your hands up around his neck, your foreheads and noses touching.

- You have me at your pinky toe, love. I don't know what your mother told you, but you don't have to worry about me ever leaving you. Cause I won't.

- I know, you smile and you peck his lips, before slowly pulling away to talk again. I'm head over heels in love with you, John.

Your heard sniffing in the back and you laughed when John wanted to stop them, you hold him still, not wanting to let go of his neck. He grabbed your waist and you two turned around to see your family; Michael and Arthur are with their noses on the snow, Tommy is having a loudly funny talk with the other men and the girls are all drinking and dancing barefoot.

- I said no fuckin cocaine! John shouted while laughing, you still holding on his neck as you did the same, drinking from the bottle again.

- And I said no fuckin fighting.

- That's quite impossible for us, love.

[schism-au-blog]

Chapter 8

Pearl and Rose headed back to the Crystal Gem base. They quickly told Garnet everything they “overheard,” which included the news about the diamonds turning gems into weapons, and not the part where the diamonds were going to try to heal shattered gems using Rose’s tears. 

“So?” asked Rose. “What should we do?”

“This is a complicated situation,” Garnet said. “We need to exercise caution. Tell our gems to be more cautious- that includes you, Pearl.”

“Me?” Pearl said, indignantly.

Rose giggled. “You say that like you don’t know what she’s talking about.”

“I can be cautious!” Pearl exclaimed.

Rose giggled. Garnet looked doubtful. “In any case, I think it would be foolish to focus on the metallic gems instead of homeworld. Homeworld is still our main adversary. The metallic gems share the same fundamental goal as us,” Garnet said.

“Right,” said Rose. “So what should we do about Homeworld?”

Garnet thought for a moment. “That’s for you to decide. The future is cloudy. We need to change fate.”

“That hopeless, huh?” Rose asked.

Garnet shrugged. “Not as bad as when it was just the three of us.”

“You’ve also been getting better at seeing possible paths,” Rose said.

“Your teaching on how to trust myself and look at things I never thought possible helped,” Garnet said.

Rose grinned. “I’m glad! Your abilities are wonderful, and the fact that you figured out how to use them properly is incredible.”

“If only I could figure out which path to go down now,” Garnet said.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Rose said. “You’ve guided me wonderfully up until now, and I know I can count on you.”

“Thank you.” Garnet sighed. “As an advisor, without looking into the future, I’d suggest playing defensive, at the moment. The metallic gems’ entire purpose is to be more disruptive than us, and if Homeworld is focused on developing weapons, they’re not as focused on developing the colony. Until we figure out what they come up with and how to turn it against them, we need to focus on as few gems getting poofed as possible.���

Rose nodded. “Thank you, Garnet.” She grabbed both of Garnet’s hands. “You are truly incredible. You are what caused me to truly believe that fighting for gemkind was worth it.”

Garnet smiled. “I trust you, Rose. Personally, I hate the diamonds enough that I would shatter them if I could, but if you say that’s not what we’re going to do, then I trust that you know best. You believed in me before I believed in myself, so I’ll believe in you now.”

“You really think shattering the diamonds…” Rose trailed off.

“I have a habit of looking at outcomes, then the path it takes to get there,” Garnet said. “Frankly, as long as the diamonds are around, I doubt they’ll let us have control of the planet. But, if I know anything, I know it’s possible to change fate.”

“Thank you for trusting in me, Garnet,” Rose said.

Garnet nodded. “Of course.”

“We should check in on the Pearls from the Reef the other day,” Rose said. “We’ve been in such a hurry dealing with the metallic gems that I nearly forgot about them. They must be having such a hard time fitting in.”

“They should be in the armory,” said Garnet. “I think Cherry is teaching them to use axes.”

“Thanks, Garnet!” Rose exclaimed as she ran out of the room. Pearl followed behind.

Rose and Pearl burst into Cherry’s training session. The Pearls were learning basic fighting stances, but it was very clear they were new to fighting.

Cherry waved. “Hey guys, need something?” she asked.

“I just wanted to see how the Pearls are doing,” Rose said, “so, how are you doing?”

Gold grinned. “Rose! I thought I wouldn’t see you around much, since you’re the leader and all.”

Rose smiled. “I don’t want to leave anyone to feel stranded. I want to be available to anyone, anyone should be able to talk to me.”

“That’s very noble,” said Silver. “I’m adjusting well, thank you for checking in.”

“Pearl, would you mind taking over the training session?” Cherry asked. “I’m trying to get them to figure out what weapon suits them best, so you don’t have to stick with axes.”

“Yes, but why would I need to?” Pearl asked.

“I need to talk with Rose real quick. It should only take a few moments,”

“Okay,” Pearl said hesitantly.

Rose and Cherry went to a side room off of the main armory. “So, what did you want to talk about?” she asked.

“I know you like to think the best about everyone, but I’m worried about your plan on where to keep Bismuth. Between the metallic gems being able to relatively easily raid and get to her, and literally any double-crossing gem being able to access her, it seems risky to continue keeping her in the relative open, even with guards,” Cherry said.

Rose nodded. “That’s unfortunate. I really wished that gems could pay their respects.”

Cherry nodded. “I think safety is our first priority. We can worry about that later.”

“You’re right,” said Rose. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Shall we go watch Pearl train Gold and Silver?” She turned to leave.

“Wait!” Cherry said, “that’s not all. I also think we need more guards assigned. Homeworld doesn’t know exactly where our bases are, the metallic gems do. They also know we’re pretty lax on the guards. If they raided right now, it could be devastating.”

Rose turned back around to face Cherry. “Thank you, Cherry. I doubt they would raid so soon, they’ll probably try to get a base established, but I won’t deny that it’s in the realm of possibility. How many more guards do you think we should have?”

“I know it’s ambitious,” said Cherry, “but I think we should double it, at least. Our guards have basically counted on the fact that Homeworld doesn’t know where we are, but the metallic gems know exactly where we are and where everything is within the base.”

Rose nodded. “That means we’ll have to scale back on big wars and focus more on the small hit-and-run missions, but we can do it.”

“Excellent,” Cherry said. “I’ll also work on moving guards so that metallic gems won’t know where exactly everything is.”

Rose smiled softly. “Thank you, Cherry. I don’t know what I did before you joined.”

“Let’s go out, I’ll offer to take back over for Pearl,” Cherry said.

Rose smiled brighter. “Pearl loves teaching. I’m sure she’d be glad to take over so you can work on shifting the guards around, and I’ll move Bismuth.:

“I still want to offer,” said Cherry. 

“Of course,” said Rose.

Rose and Cherry went back to the armory. They watched while Pearl demonstrated swordsmanship to the other Pearls. Rose admired Pearl’s determination, the clean lines she formed with her body and the sword as she elegantly fought. She looked so serious, so passionate, and yet she looked like she found absolute joy in it. In fighting, in teaching.

Rose watched her intently. She was truly the most graceful gem Rose had met. That was, until she met Rose’s eyes, blushed bright blue, and fell flat on the floor. Rose giggled.

“Now, don’t do that,” Pearl suggested to Silver and Gold. “Rose, I wasn’t expecting you to be done so soon.”

“Are you alright?” Rose asked.

“Yes, yes,” Pearl said. “I’m fine. Cherry, did you want to take back over?”

“If you want me to,” Cherry said.

“Pearl, would you be willing to stay here while Cherry and I manage some things?” Rose asked.

“Of course, Rose,” Pearl said.

“You don’t have-” Cherry started.

“No, I insist,” Pearl said. “I love teaching other Pearls how to hold their own.”

“Excellent.” Rose said. She waved. “See you soon.”

Pearl blushed, then quickly nodded. “Right.”

Rose strode out of the room, she took a right to head to the room where Bismuth was currently located. She didn’t know quite where to put the bubble but she figured her secret armory would work quite well for the moment. Pearl was the only other gem to know about it, and if Pearl decided to turn against her, she had bigger problems to worry about. Like Cherry said, letting people visit Bismuth was second priority to making sure she didn’t get unbubbled.

She took a breath and entered the room where Bismuth was bubbled. She looked up at the bubble and felt tears well up in her eyes. This was her friend. Now she was just a rock. She was trapped. It was Rose’s fault. She could fix it. Rose reached her hands towards the bubble, then quickly withdrew them. Garnet had said that timelines where she popped the bubble were to be avoided.

But- but, fate could be changed, the future could be changed. But she thought of the hatred in Bismuth’s eyes as she tried to shatter Rose. As she campaigned for shattering Pink Diamond. She couldn’t face that again. And what if Bismuth tried to do something reprehensible again? Rose didn’t think she could bear to bubble her again.

She brought the bubble down and looked at it sadly, then gently teleported it to her armory. She felt her shoulders sink. Something about transferring Bismuth away made it feel more permanent, and all of the memories that she made with Bismuth flooded to her memory.

She headed back to the training room. All three Pearls, as well as several Holo-Pearls ,had swords in hand. Rose thought about how Bismuth had made all of them.

“Rose!” Pearl exclaimed. “Done already?”

Rose smiled. “Yes, it wasn’t long. Can I help with anything?”

“I think I have it handled,” Pearl said. “If you’d want to watch, you’re more than welcome.”

“No,” said Rose. “If I’m not needed, I’d rather deal with some personal things.”

“Alright,” Pearl said. “Maybe we’ll be ready with something you can help with by the time that you’re done.”

Rose nodded and grabbed her sword before leaving the room. She looked at the magnificent craftsmanship. It was truly a piece of art. She’d complimented Bismuth on it when it was first made, but after all of the use she’d gotten out of it, it didn’t feel like enough. Was she reducing Bismuth down to her actions? No, it’s just that her work was important to her. Rose realized where she needed to visit to truly pay her respects and honor Bismuth.

As she was heading to the warp, she was stopped by Morganite. “Rose, are you okay?” she asked.

“Yes,” Rose said. “I’m absolutely fine.”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to bother you, you just look a bit distant,” said Morganite.

“Ah, sorry,” Rose said. “Did you need anything?”

“No,” said Morganite, “I just wanted to remind you I’m here to talk if you want.”

“Thank you, Morganite,” Rose said. “I appreciate the offer, but I think I’m good for now. How have you been doing?”

Morganite shrugged. “Honestly, this anti-elite talk has been scaring me a little. I mean, I’m clearly off-color, but I still fear that if a metallic gem saw me, they’d try to-” Morganite couldn’t force herself to finish the sentence.

“No gem should have to live in fear,” Rose said. “If you want me to ask Cherry to put you on the permanent guard so you don’t have to go into battle, that’s fine.”

“No,” said Morganite. “I can also manage seeming like an elite to Homeworld. I know how helpful that can be.”

“But you shouldn’t have to be afraid!” Rose exclaimed.

“I’ll fight so that gems like me don’t have to face the fear of being shattered. I’m not nearly as scared now as when Homeworld was after me.”

Rose smiled. “You are truly incredible. I completely support you.”

“Thanks,” Morganite said, “I didn’t want to hold you up.”

“No, it’s completely fine,” Rose said. “It wasn’t anything important.”

Morganite smiled. “Well, I’m glad that you’re doing well.”

Rose smiled. “Thank you.” She turned to head back for the warp pad, this time making it without any further interruptions. She warped to Bismuth’s forge and clutched her sword to her chest.

Taglist: @suartz