#we just get to feel like they are when we read from their perspective

[akashirl]

alright community, prepare yourselves for the ultimate sei info dump. you have been warned.

in some of the questions i decided to write about both ore and bokusei's different perspectives...

🍓 - sei is studying business (due to his father's pressure) but he has always wanted to become a professional basketball player

🍒 - playing basketball or playing shogi. since we're talking about a whole day -- perhaps board games since basketball can get tiring obviously. i know for a fact that sei can get into heated battles with his other self inside his head when playing shogi. he does it out of fun.

🍎 - black coffee and apple / cinnamon tea.

🍉 - this is a bit secretive but sei has been disconnected from religion ever since the passing of his mother. part of him doesn't even like celebrating christmas due to such.

🍑 - sei actually prefers receiving gifts rather than giving them! i suppose it's because he wants to feel cared for and thought of. although he preferes homemade gifts -- he doesn't like having money spent on him.

🍊 - well, there are two outcomes. (ore)sei would would shake his head and peel the orange using a napkin, while (boku)sei would just hand me a knife. if he's feeling generous, that is.

🥭 - sei only had one stuffed animal growing up -- and that is a small plushie of a white horse, resembling his own; he obviously named it "yukimaru", after the real horse.

🍍 - naturally i would say that i would have not wanted him to go through what he went through but that way he wouldn't be who he is today. he's grown and learnt how to deal with the difficulties of his harsh past, and he's doing well at that. i wouldn't change anything about him.

🍌 - what the fuck. he does NOT know what that is.

🍋‍🟩 - (boku)sei dislikes it when people whistle under a roof. (ore)sei doesn't really care much about that, and sometimes even he whistles when he's distracted. bokusei is the superstitious one.

🍈 - (boku)sei is a determinist! he believes that everything is pre-destined and we only have illusion of choice. on the other hand, (ore)sei believes in both destiny and free will.

🍏 - sei's first crush was actually nijimura, teiko's former captain. (starts rolling on the floor crying and screaming) but sei only realized that he was queer when we got together so i take pride in that! (by the way, ore is biromantic and boku is only into men.)

🍐 - sei tends to tap mindlessly on a table or stomp his foot on the ground when he's nervous...

🥝 - well, he doesn't normally wear makeup and as much as i'd like to believe that he'd let me do his makeup, i'm afraid my skills are far too awful. i'm serious, i'm terrible at it. he can ask kise.

🫒 - he is not much of a hugger! his hugs are actually quite awkward. unless he is on his feels, then he's a great hugger. oresei usually wraps his arms around the waist and gives a few back pats while boku goes for the neck.

🫐 - sei is more of a writer than an artist. and he is definitely right-brained.

🍇 - i'm afraid his life wouldn't change much. he would still be the captain of the basketball team, president of the student council, an aspiring professional player...what could i have changed?

🥥 - he likes reading, playing shogi and chess, playing basketball obviously and horseriding. he also knows how to play the violin and the piano, although he prefers the violin. he often talks about wanting to get into knitting but he's never quite had the time. sei has also mentioned journaling before but, according to him, he "lacks the creativity". what a silly boy

🍅 - his answer was "i'd buy you something that would make you smile, no matter what." then i asked him to elaborate and sei just replied "perhaps a puppy.". i have yet to process this.

🌶️ - bold of you to assume sei's immune system isn't literal iron. he rarely gets sick. though when he catches a cold and ends up with a sore throat, i make him a cup of tea with a spoonful of honey to ease with the irritation.

🫚 - sei is quite picky, actually. he would never eat natto, kimchi, raw octopus and liver. he prefers seafood over meat, but when it comes to it, he only eats well-done steak. he despises red meat.

🥕 - sei wasn't very fond of vegetables as a child but his nanny and his mother taught him from a young age to finish his plate (which was always sectioned) and he always obliged. of course he was also allowed to have sweets from time to time, but he was never fussy about his veggies before.

🧅 - sei is not very emotional. even at the toughest times, he still holds back his tears. what he does instead is just show a puzzled expression that reflects his despair perfectly -- and that's scarier than a tear rolling down his cheek. i wish he expose himself to vulnerability a bit more but if he's comfortable the way he is, i won't insist. as long as he doesn't bottle it up, it's fine with me.

🌽 - sei really likes eagles and lions. as for pets, he likes horses (obviously) and cats. i have a cat and a dog and he always manages to get oreo (the cat) on his lap. he usually isn't very fond of dogs since they bark a lot and can be disobedient, but my dog is such a chill old guy that sei has taken a liking to him.

🥦 - like i mentioned before, dogs that bark at him and are disobedient. he also feels this way towards children -- while he understands that some kids simply won't listen, he still finds them annoying. he isn't annoyed by people who chew loudly (he's used to it) but (boku)sei draws the line at slow walkers. meanwhile (ore)sei is a slow walker himself.

🥒 - other than the fear of failure and chaos (which are so painfully evident, i won't elaborate), he has thanatophobia (fear of death and losing his loved ones). he also doesn't fuck with clowns. now this isn't exactly a phobia but he's constantly haunted by the thought and possibility of becoming like his father.

🥬 - sei sets alarms for specific times such as 6:24, 7:02, 8:33 (instead of just 6:30, 7:00, etc)...also, when he's at home, he has an assigned seat (always at the head of the table.). he hasn't drank milk in a while but when he was a kid, sei would always put the milk before the cereal. some people call that criminal.

🫛 - (ore)sei likes petnames and nicknames! he finds it endearing whenever i call him "sei", and he uses petnames a lot, such as "darling", "my love", and "my knight". (boku)sei is a different case; i call him "aka-chan" and he accepts it, but never quite commented on it. patience!

🫑 - death is a sensitive topic for him. before death eventually takes him, sei would like to play one last game with his friends and have a post-game commemoration at maji burger...

🥑 - sei is very interested in history, especially the history of japan! he is interested in sadō (the tea ceremony) and kyūdō (japanese archery).

🍠 - sei either indulges in one of his hobbies or starts online hunting for those "Good Morning🦋🦋" pictures and gifs to send all of his groupchats when the clock hits 6am.

🍆 - he likes the smell of sandalwood incense. sei has also taken a liking to vanilla since that's...what my hair smells like...

🧄 - he has an allergy to pollen, especially during spring season. sei's eyes tend to get puffy and watery and his nose becomes stuffy. must protect him from pollen at all costs!

🥔 - out of the two of us, sei is the cook. i'm a disaster in the kitchen. he likes dishes with tofu -- which is something we eat a lot, since i'm a vegetarian. he likes especially tofu soup and yudofu.

🍄‍🟫 - he would probably be a chimera of a dragon mixed with a lion.

the ULTIMATE f/o infodumping ask game!

(this is gonna be a long one...)

🍓 - disregarding the career your f/o currently has, what other career would they consider going into, if given the chance?

🍒 - if your f/o and you spend a day doing anything, anything at all, what would they do and why?

🍎 - what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

🍉 - is your f/o religious? what's their opinion on religion or spirituality?

🍑 - is your f/o more comfortable giving or receiving gifts? why? do they have any preferences on gifts they like receiving?

🍊 - if you asked your f/o to peel an orange for you, what would they do?

🥭 - did your f/o have stuffed animals growing up? do they still have stuffed animals? do they have a favorite?

🍍 - if you could change any one thing about your f/os backstory/character, what would you change? why?

🍌 - does your f/o have a vendetta against The Big Light™? what kind of lighting do they prefer?

🍋 - if your f/o could change one thing about themselves, what would they change and why?

🍋‍🟩 - is your f/o superstitious? is there any habits they follow or quirks they have to follow said superstitions? like not opening umbrellas indoors to avoid back luck?

🍈 - does your f/o believe in fate? do they thing everything is preplanned out by the universe or a higher power, or do they think that the idea of fate is bogus? why?

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

🍐 - does your f/o have any nervous ticks or idle quirks they do? like mindlessly tapping on a desk or fiddling with their hair when they're stressed?

🥝 - would your f/o ever let you do their make-up? what does their make-up process look like? is it simple? complex?

🫒 - what kind of hugger is your f/o? do they give good hugs? do they like hugs? do they like receiving hugs?

🫐 - is your f/o more of a writer or an artist? would you say your f/o is more left or right brained?

🍇 - if you and your f/o never met, what do you think your f/o would be doing right now?

🥥 - what hobbies does your f/o have? is there any hobby they would like to get into that they haven't tried out yet? what is it?

🍅 - if your f/o could buy you any gift in the world, whether it exists or not, what would they buy you? or, if they could make you something, what would it be?

🌶️ - does your f/o have any remedies they follow when they get sick? like taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of a fever?

🫚 - is your f/o a picky eater? is there any foods they will not under any circumstances, gun to their head, eat?

🥕 - when your f/o was little, did they dislike vegetables? do they still dislike them?

🧅 - what makes your f/o cry? do they get emotional at sad movies or books? do they only get emotional under very rare circumstances?

🌽 - does your f/o have a favorite animal? what is it? are they scared of any animals?

🥦 - does your f/o have any pet peeves? things that just really really get on their nerves? what are they and why?

🥒 - what's your f/o afraid of? do they have any phobias? anything minor they're scared of?

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

🫛 - how does your f/o feel about pet names or nicknames? do they like them? hate them? what are their favorites and least favorites to be called and to use?

🫑 - how does your f/o feel about death? are they afraid of it? is there anything specific they'd like to do before they die?

🥑 - is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

🍠 - what are a few of your f/os favorite pastimes or things that they do when they're bored?

🍆 - does your f/o have a favorite scent? why is it their favorite? do they have a least favorite scent?

🧄 - does your f/o have any allergies? food or otherwise?

🥔 - does your f/o have any food dishes they make often? is there any foods you make for your f/o that they enjoy?

🍄‍🟫 - if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? if your f/o is already a mythological species, would they ever want to be human?

I recommend practicing reblog karma ! people love infodumping about their f/os :) I also recommend sending more than one emoji at a time,,, there are Many here...!!!

[thewadapan]

School Days review

Yeah, School Days is actually pretty good after all.

When you google "School Days", on the first page of results there's a reddit thread asking "hey, why do people hate this show?" OP gives a succinct summary of the show's themes and praises it for its tight focus and psychological depth.

The comments in that thread are fucking crazy. The top-voted comment includes this absolute gem: "Sekai is an emotionally manipulative bitch". Some users gesture towards a faint understanding that School Days is a deconstruction of harem anime, but almost to a one they claim the character writing is unrealistic. Nobody seems able to look past the show's metatextual meaning to just look at it on a straightup subtextual level—that is to say, it's not just being different to other anime for the sake of contrarianism, it's making a serious point about misogyny and toxic masculinity. Describing Makoto as a "character" at all is almost missing the point; he's practically a force of nature, and the vast majority of the show is concerned with the psychological manoeuvring of the girls in his class trying to manage and shape his behaviour.

I only know about School Days because @weaselandfriends is constantly banging a drum about it being a secret masterpiece. Gee, I wonder who the OP of that thread was! Cannot imagine being on a "School Days slaps" grindset for eight fucking years now.

(CW: discussion of underage sex, full spoilers follow)

I'm going to take a cowardly centrist route and say that School Days does in fact slap on a conceptual level, but that the execution in many places leaves a bit to be desired. It often feels repetitive. I watched the thing on 1.5x speed because, as someone who reads fast, watching subbed anime is like watching paint dry. The dialogue often feels awkward (unintentionally so, as in), which I'm willing to partially chalk up to the translation; maybe some of the clunkier lines feel more natural in the original Japanese. The imagery is often kind of laughably blunt: in some cases it works, like Kotonoha's red yarn like she's pulling her own fucking arteries out of her body, and in other cases it feels derivative and hackneyed, like the whistling kettle in the final episode. Maybe that was more original in 2007, I don't know—I would've seen the same thing in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire two years prior.

School Days does set out to pull the wool over the eyes of its presumably-mostly-young-men audience, by putting them in Makoto's POV. The show is adapted from an eroge, where the player literally would have inhabited Makoto and made his choices for him, and the "objective" of the game would have been to unlock sex scenes with all the schoolgirls. The trick with the anime is that it removes the possibility of choice, creating an impactful dissonance as Makoto's actions become increasingly alien and harmful. Inversely, as Makoto's sexual exploits escalate, we see less and less of them; by the end, the whole thing is routine, not eroticised in the slightest, we see people putting clothes on afterwards, sneaking around darkened rooms.

At the start, though, it's all panty shots and boobs. And like, how do you depict the objectification of women, from an internal perspective, without just... objectifying women? This has basically always been the classic problem with satire. If there is a way of doing it, School Days hasn't figured it out, so it just rolls up its sleeves and gets on with it. Where School Days stumbles, in my opinion, is that the fanservice shots leak out of Makoto's POV and into the scenes where it's just the girls on their own. Nevertheless, I think that even pretty early on School Days is unmistakably saying, "this is a bad thing". There's a discordant note to everything, a threat of another shoe waiting to drop. At the start, it takes the form of these innocuous remarks as the characters try to interact in good faith: Sekai is constantly like, "There's nothing wrong with feeling attracted to a girl! But maybe she doesn't feel comfortable with it! Have you thought about how she might feel?"

That's the great tension of Sekai, and indeed of much of the show's conflict: there is a world where Makoto and Sekai are just friends, and where Makoto is faithful to Kotonoha, and everyone lives happily ever after. Maybe Sekai really is earnestly trying to cross this gulf between genders, and wants to just make Makoto understand, so everyone can be happy. But from the start, there's a question of Sekai's motives; embodied by Sekai's friend Setsuna, who trails after her constantly asking, "But do you like him really?"

Setsuna is an interesting character with her own motives. There's a reading where she has a crush on Sekai, but can't pursue it because of her family's impending emigration; she ends up hanging around Makoto and desperately attempting to protect him from the consequences of his actions to preserve his relationship with Sekai, expressly stating that she wants Makoto to be a proxy for her after she's gone (though leaving any romantic feelings unspoken, that's just my interpretation). This escalates to the point of her having sex with Makoto on the condition that he breaks off another engagement with Otome, which is such a self-defeatingly doomed gambit that it becomes tragically clear Setsuna has lost all control over the situation. I got the impression that Setsuna somewhat envied the other girls' entanglements with Makoto: the bit where she kisses him while he's asleep, in an attempt to create a personal memory before she leaves forever, is haunting. Like Sekai, Setsuna ends up manufacturing a romance between herself and Makoto as a way to be with him "by proxy", without earnestly confronting her own feelings.

Anyway, my point is that early on, everyone is treating Makoto like a person, which is sort of their mistake. They're like, oh, a boy with a crush, how cute! What's the worst that could come of this? He's a bit clumsy, but I'm sure he means well! And progressively, mercilessly, the show is like: no, he does not mean well. This dude has absolutely nothing in his life except sex. Girls only exist to him as people to have sex with. Guys practically don't exist, as he can't have sex with them. And for these teenagers who are discovering their sexuality, the very fact that Makoto soon starts having these rumours circulating around him is what gives him some allure: he's a sexual entity, he can be thought of in that way, there must be some reason all these girls are acting so crazy over him. Even a character like Hikari, who early on was crushing heavily on the anime's one (1) other male character, Taisuke, ends up taking her turn with Makoto; whatever feelings she had for Taisuke are forgotten, the anime doesn't even bother establishing how that romance works, because it doesn't need to, we've already seen Makoto use his exact same wiles on like three girls already.

School Days has aged well not just because the years since have yielded a better cultural understanding of its subject matter, but for its "production design": what would have been a timely present-day setting at the point of its release ends up turning the whole thing into an early-2000s period-piece. The fashion and environments are distinctly noughties. Perhaps the most consistent bit of visual symbolism in the whole thing is the flip-phone: whenever a character is holding their phone, you can think of them holding their heart in their hands. They're like the fucking soul gems from Madoka Magica. Sometimes, people leave their hearts in the other room, or block each others' hearts, or search their hearts for good memories. The "cell phone charm" from the first episode is brought up towards the very end, seeming bitterly quaint in retrospect. Right before she kills him, Sekai sends Makoto a text which just reads "sorry" copied and pasted hundreds of times. And of course, the ED shows a propped-open cellphone with a slideshow of photos of the girls.

I think in terms of its place in history, School Days speaks to this information age where young girls are being bombarded with cultural messaging that the best way to get ahead is to sexualise oneself while simultaneously slamming everyone else for their sexuality. Girls aren't just competing with one another for the attention of boys; now, they're competing with online pornography. Sekai works as a waitress at a maid cafe (?), and sometimes wears the outfit for Makoto when they have sex. During the School Festival, the girls theme their class as a maid cafe (drawing on Sekai's experience, I think?), and are shown using "absolute territory" as a last-ditch resort to steal people from the other classes. As part of the festival, they have a secluded area curtained off with a bed, encouraging couples to go there for sex acts—but later, it turns out some of the girls have set up a camcorder, and they use the footage to reveal how everyone is cheating on everyone else. While the exact events are obviously taken to an extreme, subtextually everything in School Days tracks 100% with my own experience growing up in a Bri'ish high school, and it feels like things have only gotten worse since social media really tightened its grip on our society.

The most common talking point I see regarding this show is that the characters are "stupid". And it's like, no, they're not stupid, what planet are you on, they're fucking children! (They're children, fucking!) Most of them have probably never been in a relationship before! Everyone in the show is pursuing their own interests; it's just that often, they're in denial about the reality of the situation, because to acknowledge the reality would run against those interests. It's funny, Makoto hardly changes his behaviour throughout the whole show—it just becomes more extreme—but the only thing that affects whether or not his behaviour with Sekai is good or not is whether or not Kotonoha is his girlfriend. The use of "girlfriend" as a role is weaponised by both Kotonoha and Sekai against the other constantly; like declaring "you're It!" At once point while cooking for the school festival, Makoto starts groping Sekai's ass, and she goes, "Geez, stop it! Stop it I said! What'll you do if someone sees us?", only for Makoto to reply, "Then it's okay if no-one sees us?"; this motif of a private sin recurs with Setsuna's character, particularly in the masked play that crops up a couple of times. In what context is an act of desire okay, or not okay?

Halfway through the show, I remembered Emily is Away, a short Western indie visual novel. Released in 2015, Emily is Away is very consciously an early-2000s period piece, wearing the whole time period as an affectation. The whole game is a series of text conversations on an IM client with a girl; after key choices, you are told "emily will remember that".

I fucking hated Emily is Away when I played it. It made me so, so cross. Because after I finished my first playthrough, and got a miserable, unsatisfying end, I naturally started the whole thing over and tried again. I picked different favourite bands. I acted completely differently. And yet, no matter what I picked, during the timeskips between sections, my viewpoint character would do the exact same shit and the relationship fell apart in exactly the same way. The second playthrough was a complete waste of time. It seemed like I, the player, was being railroaded, that the writer simply hadn't the imagination to conceive of a truly interactive narrative with a wildly diverging chain of events.

But of course, that's the whole point, obviously. Emily is Away plays a mean trick on the player, where it outright lies that "you" are making meaningful choices, when in fact "you" are merely spectating the actions of the viewpoint character, a specific guy who is, by nature, a certain way. It posits that all this shit on the computer just doesn't fucking matter, it has nothing to do with how we feel about each other, that it's only our actions in the real world that matter. The thesis of Emily is Away is that sometimes, for some immutable reason, shit just doesn't work out between two people, and there's nothing you could have done differently that would have changed that.

In the timeline where you go the party, you regret going to the party. In the timeline where you don't go, you regret not going. So, the game says, what's the point in regretting at all?

I totally understood this, after finishing the game. But, fuck, I was still pissed about it. The game lied to my face. It put me in the position of being a shitty person, and I didn't like that. It left a bad taste in my mouth. I'm still not sure if Emily is Away is actually any good; I think I like it conceptually, but maybe the writing sucks, I played it eight years ago. My point is that I think School Days is trying to pull the same trick as this one game, but in a much more mean-spirited way, to much more devastating effect, and I suppose I can't be too surprised that it pissed off a lot of people. If I hadn't known upfront what to expect- well, I wouldn't be watching ecchi anime in the first place, but you get the point, maybe I would've been pissed too.

If you break out of the "anime" mindset for even a second, and allow yourself to think that what you're watching is a frank portrayal of events, rather than some hyperreal cartoon, then Makoto is obviously just a little sexual predator. He's constantly pushing the girls past their limits, groping tits, going in for kisses, often against their express wishes. He initiates all the sex we see, and while in a certain sense it's all consensual, everyone involved is under the age of consent, and the show is making a very strong case for why underaged sex is a problem. When Sekai gets pregnant, Makoto wants nothing to do with her—"It's not my fault!"—but it's made clear he wasn't using any contraception, so, c'mon.

School Days is very deliberate in omitting adult characters entirely. Teachers mostly exist in the form of textbooks being read offscreen. I think we get a line of dialogue from Sekai's mom, if I remember right? It presents this world where Makoto basically has free reign to do whatever he wants to the girls, and everybody knows about it, but nobody is doing anything about it. When Sekai murders Makoto, there isn't a scene where anyone notices his absence, finds out. Kotonoha carries his severed head across town without anyone noticing, kills Sekai, and makes it onto the boat without getting caught. The show ends on a montage of idyllic school scenes, as if to say, "nobody noticed, everything just carried on". And again, to a certain kind of guy, I think this would stretch plausibility to the point of causing offence. For me, I think it's speaking to something very real.

Makoto's bedroom is barren except for his computer and magazines: porn, and porn. In the back half of the show, the void left by the absence of adults is filled by Makoto, Sekai, and Kotonoha, who are thrust into this horrible domestic drama, as everyone else in their class blocks Makoto. Makoto relays Kotonoha's recommendation for an abortion clinic to Sekai. He and Sekai sit diagonally across a table in a living room, and suddenly Makoto's school uniform looks like a salaryman's suit, a size too big for him, like he's walking around in his dad's clothes. Sekai tries to prepare a big meal for him, in a fucked-up parody of domesticity, but ends up destroying the whole thing after Makoto spits in her face yet again; later, she sees the remnants in the trash, an uneaten chicken leg poking out, and sees a little of herself in there, and that's basically when she decides to take the knife and kill Makoto. She stabs him in the belly, which is what Kotonoha will later do to her; both are imitating the original sin of the pregnancy.

Kotonoha explicitly chooses to kill Sekai this way because she believes Sekai is lying about the pregnancy—which we can pretty safely say isn't true, based on the scenes where Sekai is on her own. There's this horrible, horrible shot where the camera is looking out at Kotonoha from inside the gut wound, and she observes, "Just as I thought. There's no-one in there." And it's like, is she talking about this baby, still so early in the gestation that it's scarcely even an idea? Is she talking about Sekai, or Makoto, these two people who turned out not to care about her at all? Or is she peering straight through the screen at the viewer, complicit in this atrocity? The shot mirrors the bag containing Makoto's head earlier in the same scene; when Sekai unzips it, the inside is just a black void, and we aren't shown the contents. It's honestly more unsettling to infer it—that bag's not big enough for all of Makoto—and have it "made real" by that final shot of Kotonoha pressing the severed head into her chest on the boat. The memes were more right than they knew: "Nice boat."

Overall, I think School Days extends a lot of empathy towards its female characters. Or, if nothing else, it takes care to give them complex and distinctive internality, which is more than I can say for a lot of anime. Kotonoha initially represses her feelings for Makoto, and then when she feels pressured into reciprocating his intimacy, she soon gets turned into a social pariah for it. Early on, there's this eye-roll-inducing scene where Kotonoha is like "the other girls used to make fun of me because of my huge boobs", and from Makoto's perspective it's like "great, you've got huge boobs!", but then from Kotonoha's perspective, she spends the whole show getting slut-shamed, doesn't she? As a coping mechanism, she builds up elaborate delusions around Makoto—Makoto wouldn't let this happen to her, would he!?—which make it impossible for her to see how he's harming Sekai at the same time, culminating in the "I think you've made up your pregnancy for attention" beat. Their own internalised misogyny prevents the girls from identifying their common enemy.

If I'm being totally blunt, I feel like I can pretty safely put most of the comments regarding School Days I've seen online into a big bucket labelled "HAS NEVER HAD MORE THAN ONE GIRL INTERESTED IN HIM AT ONCE". Like, "I can't believe this Makoto guy! Why doesn't he just dump Kotonoha and date Sekai, who he's obviously more compatible with?" Bucket. "Makoto is so spineless and needs to stop letting these girls manipulate him!" Bucket. "There's no way the teachers would let him get away with this!" Bucket. "What do these girls see in Makoto anyway?" Bucket. "Sekai is such a bitch!" A new, bigger bucket labelled "NO BITCHES".

What I'm interested in is takes from School Days haters who aren't brainpoisoned anime fans, who might even nod along to all my analysis of the show's themes here, but who nevertheless think it's a bad show that deserves to be reviled. What part didn't you like? Is it the part in the OP where you see every female character naked one after the other? Yeah that part's pretty bad. Is it that windowpane-shattering digital transition that gets used once or twice? Is it the utter self-seriousness with which it tackles its ludicrous melodrama? I can see how, if you don't let yourself start to think "oh, those poor girls!", if you don't have that emotional buy-in, the whole thing might just feel comically edgy, sophomoric. I don't think there's any level on which School Days is fun to watch, and I'm not saying it's a secret masterpiece either, but I guess it more-or-less landed for me.

[tarotbyjam24]

You and your future spouse's 1st valentine's day date

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Disclaimer: This is general reading . It may or may not resonate . If reading doesn't resonate let it fly and choose another pile or simply there were no messages for you through this reading 😊 Take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so🕊️

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This reading a collab between @tarotbyjam24 and my girl @winisayswhat 🖤 don't forget to check her account loves

Pile 1

Pile 1 : your first valentine's day date might possibly be a 50-50 date like you couples splitting your bills or it could be like you both are always so busy so it took effort from both sides to have a valentine's day date together finally. It's gonna be a very planned and calculated date . You guys might also not show your truest self to your spouse on this date because either of you or both can have your guards up even though you're married. I also feel on this date you could also fight with eachother 😭 probably because of hiding something. I see 'hide' word is so prominent here . I wonder how you guys are so mysterious to each other . Mostly I see you guys could be trying local street foods , trying drinks here n there. Although I feel you both will be dressed perfectly for a date to bring the date date vibe . Having drinks on this could help both of you to loosen up a bit and open up to each other . This date will be a start for something new probably you could think of starting family or something else . This pile seems like both of you love eachother but also don't show it and hide it very well that you both seem to each other like enemies ✨ that's all pile 1 I hope you liked reading this pile happy valentine's day and bless you all 🎀💗

Pile 2

Pile 2 : your first valentine's day date is gonna be amazing I swear . They'll make you feel like a prince\princess . Almost worshipping you and giving all the power . I also feel your spouse will be older than you . So ofc they gonna spoil you it's natural to them and you gonna enjoy it . They'll surely take you on various activities for this date like taking some fun classes in day , eating local foods , taking you on shopping, then dinner night at a perfect place probably by river or seaside . This date will grow more love between each other . I get the vibe of ' material girl ' from this pile and I support you for this lol . You go guys . You deserve it all . Now from another perspective if we see this than your spouse could be bit more domineering in this date like those ceo and their girlfriends where ceo likes to eat at three Michelin star hotel and you enjoy your ramen and drinks but you're forced to go on the three Michelin star hotel date lol. I feel you'll act like a disciplined kid when in real you're so spoiled 🍃 and you just don't listen to anyone but you'll have to listen and follow them .that's all pile 2 I hope you liked reading this pile happy valentine's day and bless you all 🎀💗

Pile 3

Read by @winisayswhat

Okay, babes, this date is going to be mind-blowing . Like, expect some serious sparks flying, and that's just not from the table. The man or woman you're going on a date with has a provider energy. It's like a very fancy place, with a fancy setup. This person is jacked for sure. They're serious and will bring lots of stability and maturity into your life. They're the real deal, honey .The Two of Cups is all about harmony and balance. So, expect some beautiful, heartfelt connections. You'll feel fulfilled. This place feels like a rooftop restaurant with dim lights, and you're drop-dead gorgeous . You're dressed up, drop-dead gorgeous that day. Oh la la, that person is going gaga all over you! They're very chivalrous. They're going to spend all their money on you without thinking twice. You'll feel luxurious, wealthy with them This person is a provider, wild, and dressed to impress . Both of you are excited to meet each other and already know you're the "it" deal. It's like you both were meant to be together, like two puzzle pieces . You both love, value, and cherish each other. It's like you both have manifested each other. The God has led you both to each other .This person is very straightforward, and whatever they say is going to be very real. They'll be honest with you, and you'll love that about them . They're the type of person who'll have many surprises in store. If they take you out for dinner, they'll make sure there's music, a big bouquet of roses, jewelry as gifts, your favorite champagne, food, and good photos to be clicked . Oh la la, this person is also a great photographer! Your Instagram feed is sorted ! Every time this person walks into a room, people look at them and go, "Oh my God, who is that?" They drip with money and luxury 💸. This person is going to be so nurturing and caring. Expect some serious TLC from this person, honey! It's going to be wild, but guess what? This is just the beginning. The journey is much more exciting and spicy!

Pile 4

Read by @winisayswhat

This Valentine's Day date is going to be EVERYTHING and more! The energy is mutual, excited, and respectful. You both love and adore each other, and you're ready to spend quality time together.

The ambiance is romantic, probably at a favorite restaurant or spot. The air is filled with a sweet scent, and you both feel harmonious and in tune with each other. You're thinking about how lucky you are to be in this relationship!Conversation on the date is all bout goals, future plans, and excitement for what's to come. You both are magnetic, high-achieving individuals who are planning out your adrenaline-fueled life together! Eye contact is intense, and you both feel a deep sense of connection and understanding.This is a couple who will be the life of the party, so in love and into each other that they won't even notice what's going on around them! You're best friends, despite being different, and you complement each other perfectly.

Oh, and there's red velvet cake involved somehow! And maybe some red fruits or wine? Whatever it is, it's going to be a night to remember!

You'll spend the evening planning your life together, discussing kids, cars, homes, and all the adventures you'll have. And guess what? The universe is going to make it all happen!

Get ready for lots of kisses, gentle touches, and admiration from your partner. Their love language is touch, and they'll show you love and affection in the sweetest ways.

This person is going to adore you, honey! They'll be captivated by your smile, lips, eyes, and entire aura. And they'll appreciate you for the rest of your life! You will be like one of those couples from the Hollywood 90's-2000's Romcom movie aesthetic for sureeee!!!

I hope you liked the reading . Thank you so much for letting me read for you . Wishing you best ahead . 🎀 Bless you and have a nice day 🫶🏻

Loads of love , jam\gem 🩷

Exchanges : open , collabs for pacs : open

[redcamellia13]

Mitsukou Analysis: Red House Arc

Okay. God, I was not excited for this arc…

*motivational (platonic) KouNene*

Honestly, when I first read this scene I was quite surprised.

Isn’t it sort of odd Kou isn’t super affected by Mitsuba or even Hanako’s disappearance?

Yashiro became a veritable shell of herself, and Akane fell into depression, so to have Kou as his usual smiling self was quite shocking to see.

Woah, woah, can… can we back up a bit Kou? That’s twice now you’ve shown signs of contemplation of killing yourself for your ghost boy friend. (In my opinion, it should be ghost boyfriend, but ya know.)

Wow, so he’s actually considering this. I assumed Kou knew he probably couldn’t die back in the picture perfect world, since it’s supposed to be picture perfect, but he’s genuinely thinking about it.

So. At this point in time, Kou doesn’t know “whether the old Mitsuba is really gone.”

Well, Kou, for better or for worse that’s about to change. Which brings us to the next point of interest:

Right here. Kou has realized, for the first time in (Hanako or Tsukasa’s, I can’t remember) words, “the Mitsuba Sousuke that lived and died in this world is not here anymore.”

I think some subconscious part of Kou’s brain really believed Sousuke was still out there somewhere, and because he only met him very briefly as a human, and still quite shortly as a ghost, he never really processed the fact Sousuke had family that cared about him.

This is divulging into more theory territory than analysis, but why did Sousuke have a picture of the Red House?

His connections with it are nonexistent, and even No. 3 doesn’t know it exists, and is only associated with it because of his relationship with Amane Yugi/Hanako.

This is mostly just context for what’s about to happen next. Aidairo has made it crystal clear the house appeals to your desires.

Ah yes, so of course Mitsuba shows up immediately afterwards, almost as if Aidairo are implying when you say “think of your greatest desires,” Kou’s brain immediately thinks of Mitsuba.

Another interesting thing about these panels, and also the main reason I added it is that this is the first time we’ve seen Kou’s desire to be needed, and be needed specifically by Mitsuba.

“I can’t go on without you Minamoto-Kun. You’re all I have.”

This is saying Kou wants Mitsuba to rely on him and only him, a fact that was already well-established, but confirmation is always nice.

Perhaps this is pulling from Kou’s desires of Hanako being “a run of the mill evil spirit” so he would be easy to exorcise.

However, I believe this is more pulling from Kou’s… suicidal tendencies, and wanting to be with Mitsuba on the other shore.

It might actually be a combo of both.

Actually, this got me thinking for a while. Do Kou and Mitsuba trust each other? Kou certainly doesn’t think so, but do we have examples of them showing mutual trust?

Welp, guys, thats another ding on the “are they a healthy relationship” perspective.

“You know you wanted me to say that.”

My sleep deprived brain cannot even begin to pick out why the hell Mitsuba would say that, but let’s try.

I have a vague feeling it’s because Kou wants Mitsuba to know that he wishes for Mitsuba to know he needs him to need Kou… but why?

Like I said, I am on not a lot of sleep and a lot of caffeine, so I can’t really say. I might come back later with new ideas, but for now this is what you get. (Sorry!)

Kou wants closure from Mitsuba’s death, which is understandable. However, Kou, you might wanna organize your priorities, because a solution for Yashiro’s lifespan isn’t even present, while Mitsuba comes up twice?

*ahem ahem*

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Wow. Real smooth Aidairo. Stopping Kou right before we get an answer as to why Mitsuba (both!) is there, while not being an actual desire.

Yes, I updated my oneshot book- all entries below <3

[jaijeijayjei]

I guarantee a post like that in the Jayvik tag or Caitvi tag, even if it was respectful and had logical points, would get torn apart. If you disagree that's fine but I stand by that statement and I'm not willing to test it out on my own blog.

This is why "anti" tags exist (There's an anti meljay tag, an anti jayvik tag, etc.).

I feel that you're assuming most fans will be respectful, post in good faith, and be interested in a healthy debate instead of just arguing. But you said so yourself- this fandom especially has so much infighting. Tagging posts the way you're suggesting will only make the atmosphere more toxic than it already is.

Plus, sometimes people just post negative content about a ship because they want to express those negative feelings- not necessarily to have a discussion or share thoughtful points.

Think of this from the perspective of someone in a smaller corner of fandom. Jayvik shippers outnumber Meljay 10 to 1 (rough estimate). If Jayvik fans used the Meljay tag to air out their issues with the ship it would absolutely be flooded with anti-Meljay content which would be irritating as hell.

Imagine opening the Jayvik tag and all the posts are about "why do people see them as a couple, they're brothers," "CL confirmed it's not real," "Jayvik doesn't make sense" - of course discourse is enjoyable but its tiring to constantly see your ship get dunked on, good intentions or not.

I have no issue with people posting things in the Meljay tag that I disagree with. The reason I found this post distasteful is that it read as shipper bait. And yes that was an assumption: but tone doesn't always carry over text and we're all bound to make assumptions about posts. You yourself assumed ppl who took issue with the tagging are hating on OP (And I appreciate you apologizing for being a little harsh). The good thing about online discourse is that we can ask for clarification and at least reach an understanding (like me and that other commenter did with OP).

It's not unreasonable to assume that an ambiguously worded post like this was something that didn't belong in the Meljay tag, for reasons I already discussed.

Fandom culture has changed a lot - I have consistently seen people emphasize that not all content related to a ship should be in the ship tag, especially when anti-tags exist.

Case in point: This is a post I made about why Jayce's affection for Viktor does not mean he doesn't also love Mel, and that it's possible to ship Jayvik without hating on Meljay. I was hoping this post would reach Jayvik shippers so I tagged it as such initially:

And this is a comment I received on that post.

This commenter and I actually ended up having a polite conversation about our takes which was nice. This person wasn't going out of their way to be aggressive- they were just put off by the tagging, and because I was courteous and removed the tag they were more open to having a civil debate. Which goes back to my other point- if people tagged the way your suggesting it would NOT be conducive to a nontoxic atmosphere. I'm not saying I agree with it or like it but that's just the reality of the situation.

I have seen many other comments like this pointing out issues with tagging. So I err on the side of caution.

If you disagree that's cool - just expect that people will point out what they see as tagging issues because fandom culture has shifted.

Wait a sec Mel can sense people’s emotions and has literally had her power since before she was born so the entire time she and Jayce were having sex she could tell he wanted to fuck Viktor and was just like “mm that’s kinda hot ngl”

[novlr]

This may seem like a weird question, but any tips for writing an alcoholic character?

She's the queen of a rather unstable kingdom in a Graeco-Roman inspired fantasy setting and uses wine to cope with stress caused by the political circus and personal things, and her husband and daughter often criticise her unhealthy drinking habits:

Using topics like alcoholism for a character can present a relatable–and flawed–person for readers to sympathize with, if not connect with. Yet do be cautious when writing on the topic. Alcoholism, as well as other topics on addiction and/or harmful habits, can grow very sensitive very quickly. How far you dive into this topic should depend on how relevant it is to your story and character(s).

It’s also important to consider how you address the topic as well. For example, there’s a major difference between a writer showcasing alcoholism with an open-minded and empathetic perspective versus a writer who is close-minded and reveals shallow portrayals of an alcoholic simply being “bad.” Yes, while these addictions cause harm to all involved (and by no means should be “downplayed��), remember that alcoholism is a mental health disorder. There is so much more at play than just craving alcohol and being affected by the intoxication. And that’s what we will touch on in this post.

For the sake of providing a potential content warning for this post, know that I will cover alcoholism and how it affects emotional and physical reactions. We will discuss internal thoughts, as well as external actions, from both the alcoholic character and the surrounding characters for the sake of learning how to write them in narrative.

Also, as a minor disclaimer, I will note that I am not a psychological professional on the topic. However, I am someone from a family affected by generations of alcoholism and will use some personal experiences for the purpose of discussing how to write about alcoholism, from habits I’ve seen from family members to how I and others have reacted to it.

With all that out of the way, let’s get started!

Internal thoughts

If you’ve ever chatted with me about writing or read other posts of mine in the Novlr Reading Room, you know I love diving into the “why” behind everything. Why someone writes and why a character has this motive are just a few examples. And when it comes to addictions, like alcoholism, you want to get into the why behind that as well.

Because it’s not only the alcohol that creates the addiction, right? There still has to be a reason why the person starts the habit and why they want the outcome that results from the habit. This is how a habit turns into an addiction.

Based on the question prompting this post, there’s already a hint of that “why.” The character is stressed by the politics in her setting. So you want to ask why this person is turning to alcoholism and/or what they want out of it. 

For example, control and escapism are big desires that can drive someone to drinking. In most cases, those reasons are why people prefer alcohol as the depressant to lean on after a bad day. That lighter feeling of escapism, at the very least, is enough to keep wanting to drink more, so someone always feels that way. It’s a way for them not to feel stressed or unhappy.

On top of that, destructive habits like alcoholism will usually display and exaggerate an insecurity the person has. This is the case with one of my family members. They grew up in a toxic household that demanded they go to school for a high-paying job. The short story: that didn’t work, and their sister went through with the high-paying job instead. This (among many other things in their life) ultimately created a setting for them to feel and/or not be seen as “worthy enough” by their family.

Now, psychologically, there’s a lot more about my family member to potentially unearth here, but even this one piece of backstory is already a wealth of inspiration for writing a character turning to alcoholism. It touches on personal events in their life and/or their personal flaws. And we’ll stick to that one piece for the purpose of this post.

Let’s say you have a character that went through the same scenario as my family member. Someone who doesn’t feel worthy around their friends and family will want that remedied, and that commonly leads to attention-seeking, people-pleasing, and/or the desire for control.

And there are flavors to this. Maybe someone is deemed “unworthy” because they’re too immature. And what’s seemingly more “mature” in society than drinking? Then, when they want to prove they can handle it, they keep drinking and ignore the inebriation. Because now it’s a competition with themself to impress others. And now, they have the potential start of an addiction. But they don’t see it that way. They simply see it as a means for control over what bothers them and see an opportunity to fix that issue.

See how that worked?

So if the character, like the queen in the question of this post, has the stress of ruling and turns to alcohol, there’s plenty of character interiority in there to dive into regarding seeking control and/or escapism, at the very least. 

Again, ask why. Why is alcoholism the answer to meet the character’s needs, and why do those needs exist in the first place for your character? And after all that, we can dive into how the consequences of alcoholism become external actions based on those internal “whys.”

External actions

So, we’ve answered the “why” behind alcoholism for a character and how it makes them feel. Now we can discuss how the interiority and insecurities show on the outside as external actions.

I mentioned my family member with their insecurity of feeling unworthy, and that being one reason for turning to alcohol for control and impressing others. If there’s one thing that people who seek attention, control, and are people-pleasing want, it’s to be right. It’s to be the go-to person. It’s to be the best person in the room.

Turning to alcohol can help someone feel more confident, daring, and/or adamant about being seen as that person. But on the outside, that’s not what we see at all, especially when they drink to the point of inebriation. What my family member thinks of has having a civil debate with others or making a point important to them is actually explosive behavior to those experiencing it.

When someone’s senses are dulled from intoxication, and said intoxication amplifies the desire to be seen as worthy and in control, the person drinking will end up doing almost anything to get what they want. This, at least, is my experience. And that ends up becoming aggression for some, even leading to violence. Especially if someone never grew up with a proper outlet or learned how to properly express themselves.

This is why I started this post by discussing the internal thoughts of a character. Their self-esteem was already low before drinking. And drinking to fix that self-esteem now becomes a method of defense. More often than not, that leaves everyon else, reacting in return. Which leads to our next topic:

The internal thoughts of family and friends

As you may know, it’s not just the alcoholic themself affected by the habit of drinking. It affects those around them too.

If you’re around someone who exhibits explosive behavior, is prone to yelling, and displays unpredictable behavior, what would your reaction be?

A person in this situation, especially a child, is often left with the desire to get away from the perceived threat and protect themself. There may be other reactions, like wanting to end the threat (i.e. standing up for themself), but that is dependent on an individual’s personality and their way of facing threats. As someone who experienced this, I can confirm the need for safety. Seeing an unpredictable, threatening person mostly leads to feelings of fear and helplessness, and thus, a need to hide and feel safe again.

Ultimately, when it comes to your characters around alcoholism, ask yourself how they would respond emotionally via their core personalities against a threatening situation like this. Is it wrong for them to be right out of principle? Is it not worth confronting because trying to fix the problem is hopeless? Or is there too much fear behind what happens, and the character must heed their flight instincts?

Thus, those emotions lead to how the characters around the alcoholic will react externally.

The external actions of family and friends

Based on the emotional examples above, there are several ways a character can react externally around an alcoholic. Some people will confront them, regardless of their explosive behavior, and some will quietly hide and wait for it all to pass by. And some will be afraid enough of the situation to leave and never return to that person’s side.

It all depends on the character, their age or situation, their core values as a person, and their relationship with the alcoholic.

But, all in all, friends and family react one of three ways: address it (to the point of intervention), accept it and/or ignore it, or detach completely. And, from there, it can be a snowball effect of action, reaction, and consequences between the characters.

So, if you have an alcoholic character ruling a country, and you’re uncertain how those around them would react, start with their core personalities and how they would emotionally respond to threats (internal thoughts), and how those thoughts would lead to certain reactions to that character (external reactions). And don’t be afraid to dive deep into a character’s interiority and development here to get as detailed as you can! 

How far do you want to go with this?

As you can see, writing a destructive addiction like alcoholism boils down to why the character resorts to the addiction, how that addiction affects them based on their core beliefs and personality, and how that transformation affects people around them internally and externally.

Once again, keep in mind how relevant this is to your story and character. If alcoholism is one of the primary topics you want to address with an adult novel, then you can go as far into this topic as deemed necessary.

However, if alcoholism is more involved with a side character in a young adult or middle-grade story (i.e. the main character’s parent that don’t show up in every chapter), and it isn’t a major part of the plot or story, then I would caution against touching this subject on a deep level. You can still have a teenage character yearn for parental love because of how alcoholism affects that character’s internal thoughts and emotions and how the alcoholic parent is never around. But if the external plot focuses on something else —like using magic to save the world—that is what takes precedence.

And there you have it! This is mostly a surface-level dive into the topic with examples of personal experiences. I reiterate that I am not a psychological professional in the industry, so if you are looking to dive further into the topic, then I recommend more research involving articles from experts in studies/facilities regarding alcoholism (or other addictions), as well as testimonials for further experiences from others. I’ve popped some resources that have helped me below:

Resources

Cleveland Clinic: Alcohol Use Disorder

Mayo Clinic: Alcohol Use Disorder

NIAAA: Alcohol Facts and Statistics

SAMHSA: Children Living with Parents Who Have a Substance Use Disorder (A Study)

answered by Lindsay Sfara

[pixiedurango]

If you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate a letter from Illario to Lucanis that is basically him wondering how the hell his awkward cousin managed to attract a hottie like Rook De Riva. (Bonus points for it being my Rook, Adava. I've posted a couple screenshot archives of her.) Thank you very much! This is such a wonderful and fun thing you're doing for the community!

Ding Dong. Another special delivery from the Antivan Postal Service.

We all know Illario is a yapper... this may be the reason why this letter is so crazy long. It's a bit more than just the one requested topic, I hope you don't mind, but I felt, that even Illario would not just kick down the door and starts asking awkward questions about his cousin's love-life. I honestly can't figure, how Lucanis would even answer this letter... Anyway, enjoy!

Transcript:

Cousin, I hope you don’t mind me, bothering you. I know the new First Talon is still saving the world and has probably not the time and even less patience to read from a despicable criminal anyway. Even (or rather because) said criminal is your blood and the closest thing to family you’ll ever have. Beside of course our dear Caterina, who naturally sends her regards (because this way she’s excused to write a letter to you herself. Which of course she would never confirm, and I would NEVER even think. Huh, who wrote that?)

I spend my time doing paperwork for the Diamond recently, since Viago could not be bothered to supervise me all day and night (which I don’t take offensive, I would not want to be my watchdog, either.) Of course no one gives me a contract anymore, maybe there are some with my name on it, but I fear, you’ll find that name in an unfamiliar spot there. No wonder, Viago is paranoid, that something might get out of hand. Which would make him fail his first ever contract from the new First Talon by losing his ward (that would be me).

Not that I wish for this to happen, but then, what is life without the roofs of Treviso in the moonlight, its markets and cafés. The canals and gondolas and the beautiful people in the streets. While I am stuck in the belly of the Diamond. Copying inventory lists.

Anyway, how’s your days? And I mean the parts we don’t get to read in the gazettes or war reports. Allow me to live a little through your new life. I want to know about hat Lighthouse you’re residing in. Living in the Fade is such a weird concept on its own – but being there stuck with a bunch of non-Antivans who are each so different and unique, but you’re still all on the same contract - that sounds like an interesting experience. And they are all so stunningly beautiful and exciting personalities.

Speaking of exciting: Send my kindest regards to that divine but harsh Tevinter detective if you don’t mind, my brother. I’d be very intrigued to get to know other Tevinter people. For a wider perspective, maybe if you want to call it that?

And no, I’m not trying to make a joke here. Or try to push a shady agenda. I just feel that my choices of people from the Imperium was not the… most educated one.

You know what? Never mind, you shouldn’t have to bother with such silly requests and why I feel to ask them from you.

Better we hold onto our words about the things past until we can exchange them in person.

But, you are aware that I simply could have made up a story to make you introduce me to her, right? Or, even better, I just could have written to your Tevinter friend right away, instead of asking you to give my regards…

Speaking of friends. Must be all new and awkward for you, cousin. I can’t remember you having any close acquaintances ever, at all, when we grew up. I would never have thought, you’d have that in you.

Of course now, this all new YOU will not have any more use for your poor cousin - who’s fallen from grace, to do all the nasty ice breaking and socializing for you. And we were such a successful double like that.

Remember that wigmaker job? Vyranthium, I guess. It got you your, moniker, right? Demon of Vyranthium. Just like a creepy foreshadowing, don’t you think? Anyway, what was I talking about? Ah!

You did all the bloody work back then, I happily give you that, but without me? Way more complicated it would have been, I dare say. And even more dangerous as it was already.

Cousin, just think about it. We could rule Antiva together. Or just retire and be the rulers of our own court, whereever that may be - and do what ever we please.

Or did you eventually make peace with being the one in charge? First Talon! So much responsibility. And so large boots to fill.

May Caterina continue to live and rule on for many many more years to come. So you don’t have to step up entirely. Letting her continue to draw strings in the shadows, while you being the representative and handsome young face of the Antivan Crows. That was a clever move from the old girl. Or was it yours? Either way. She could have all that with less drama and an even prettier face, far more willing, to put up with her and her attics. But, well, here we are.

Sorry, I fell back into ramblings about things again, that should be topic for us talking in person. Forgive me. How did I get there in the first place… I have no idea. Maybe this gives you a hint, of just HOW boring the paperwork is, I get to do here. I start yapping. In a letter.

Before I end this pointless lament, cousin, brother! I want to congratulate you. Honestly. Of course, only if it's true, what’s going round within the Diamond and probably the salons of Treviso’s nobility, too. That the new First Talon, known to be the chastest of all Crows, finally decided to seriously court someone. And not only that. It’s even reciprocated this time, as we hear.

A strategic bond with the House of the 5th Talon? I hear that not few people are taking it this way.

But I know you better, cousin. You’d never engage into such an endeavor, when it’s not playing out like in your silly romance novels. (Yes, of course I know what you always hid between your textbooks and under the mattress. Kitsch!) But well, to each their own, I guess. You the books and me the real experience. But you seem to finally getting there, as it seems. Tell me everything, brother! I’ve witnessed you yapping about coffee and kisses goodbye and smarmy stuff like that. You were really into that de Riva girl, right from the start. There goes my last hope, that Adava had, or would ever discover, a soft spot for me behind her wall of professionalism and all business. Just joking, of course, I’m happy for you both. I mean it.

Just don’t let your heart and your… midsection get into the way of a contract. Which in your case would very much unfortunate for all of Thedas. But who am I to give you advice of matters of the heart… (or the midsection) My latest choices weren’t the smartest, either.

Before I end up filling a journal here, I’ll end now. If you want, write me back, I really want to hear about your life and could use any distraction. We’re family, after all. - Illario

Find the other letters here

[ladykatibeth]

Not to pull out your tags, but I think this is an interesting thing to grapple with! There’s two major things from this perspective I often see and differ on is it’s an either/or perspective and a “only Ellen is feeling the effects of the “normal” social roles in the marriage” perspective.

Firstly I think that Thomas granted her something that Orlok couldn’t—open love and a sense of normalcy. Thomas being in the picture actively helped Ellen’s symptoms (that she expressed were painful and uncomfortable) lessen, and it’s notable that when he leaves these symptoms start to return. She is actively benefited by his presence (mainly as her emotional support). This does not mean she wasn’t also fulfilled by Orlok as well (in a you understand me/I understand you) way.

People need multiple things, and rarely can they get all their needs filled by a single person. It’s an unhealthy expectation. That doesn’t mean a relationship can’t work out that doesn’t include every need being fulfilled, just that you need many people in your life to meet needs. Anna supports Ellen when Thomas is having nightmares, for example. Ellen needs the open love Thomas provides, and she needs someone who can relate to her darkness and that’s okay. She can’t get both from a single person.

In terms of Thomas I don’t think he’s reacting ordinarily to what’s going on. Definitely not for his society, but also not generally. Most victorian men wouldn’t put their all into supporting their wives in their mental illness, or even marry someone with that sort of history attached to begin with.

They also mostly wouldn’t support their wife after she summoned a monster and then hold her through being possessed. I’m thinking most modern day spouses wouldn’t either ngl that man is devoted.

However I also think that Thomas’s hyper concern for filling his gender role, combined with the fact that the vampiric symbol of victorian repression fed on him in a scene mirroring the repression symbols feeding of Ellen, implies that Thomas isn’t really easily living up to these standards either (the why is up to interpretation, personally I think he’s bi).

The single provider social dynamic puts stress on him as well, especially as the expectation of men to not be weak keeps him from being able to connect with Ellen over their shared vampire trauma (something that would benefit them both.)

I also think that we need to be considering it in terms of a partnership if we want to have an anti-sexist reading. Thomas couldn’t save Ellen because she didn’t need saving. The emotional support Thomas provides is more important than heroics, and he succeeds at the former way more than the later.

They’re cutting the honeymoon short, meaning it’s likely they weren’t in a committed relationship as we would describe it (they would have been restricted to chaperoned dates and letters before being wed) until at most a couple months before this, so they didn’t really have an opportunity to work out any issues (an inevitable part of the relationship process, issues will naturally come up more once their lives conjoin).

Not very soon after they move in together, Thomas experiences trauma fairly similar to hers and gets some similar symptoms (nightmares) and some separate symptoms (she has seizures/sleepwalks/gets possessed, while he is physically messed up from the draining/jumping off a building/sprint to get home) putting them on equal footing in terms of needing support.

He didn’t “let her down” any more than she did him. She chose to keep him in the dark to sacrifice herself. She didn’t tell him about the evil vampire ex (fair given their society but still) he didn’t listen to her about the bad vibes of the business trip. Choices made all around.

Neither of them really talk about it though. By the end it isn’t just a woman failing to receive support through her trauma, it’s two traumatized people handling it in very different ways and making choices based in that. We don’t know if it would have worked out, because they never got the chance or time to even really try, and yet they still gave it their all anyway.

It’s kind of crazy to me that Thomas gets flak for trying to get to work on time, or taking a job assignment, despite his wife being worried about it. It’s not really greedy for a lower middle class man with debt and a wife to support (because societal expectations mean she can’t work) to care about not losing his job and it’s not greedy for him to want a slightly better paying job.

It’s also not a reflection of lack of intimacy/love/trust between Thomas and Ellen that he makes financial stability a priority.

Also that the flowers scene is a reflection of Thomas not understanding Ellen, because she says she’s upset about the flowers dying. She’s just had a dream that messed her up that had lilacs in it. It’s not about him getting her flowers it’s about him getting her lilacs after she just had a nightmare heavily featuring them combined with the stress over his upcoming trip. She’s upset about what the flowers represent (a bad omen and a result of him apologizing for leaving for the trip) not him getting her flowers.

[not-poignant]

The latest UtR update on AO3 got me hooked and I could no longer constrain myself and had to read the other chapters on Patreon. Now I need to know: does Lucien have any redeeming character traits in the series or can I add him straight to the list of characters that deserve the worst? That attitude of his towards Faber made me so mad lmao

Hi anon!

This actually reminds me of the ask I got recently about how awful Augus is as a character and how it's impossible to consider him through a positive light after reading Falling Falling Stars. Because that's how he seems if you've never read him in anything else of mine!

My narrators are unreliable, anon. We only ever see Lucien very briefly through the jealous eyes of an insecure man.

(Spoilers for a future brief verbal encounter between Lucien and Faber in Underline the Red).

Lucien is an extremely vulnerable omega who is in an institution that has temporary custody of him. They control what he eats, what he does, whether he leaves or not (i.e. he's functionally imprisoned), who fucks him, if he gets to see anyone else, if he can talk to his partner and family back home and how often. He has significant psychiatric issues around his own insecurities re: jealously and his partner, and he clocks Faber as being in love with Caleb, and he's right.

And that's incredibly unethical of Faber, honestly, to not have disclosed any of this to Dr Gary (like Dr Gary will be right to consider firing him over this in the future). It puts Lucien's mental health in direct and severe jeopardy, and is ironically likely what causes his relapse that causes Caleb to suggest domestic discipline in the first place (oh, Faber, the irony).

Because Lucien's there to learn that actually a lot of his jealousy and insecurity is unfounded. Instead, he learns the opposite, that no matter who he bonds with, someone else is there loving his potential partner while he perceives himself as having very little control (and in the case of Hillview - this is true, all he has are his words).

He's a chronically disabled omega who needs a disability aid (walking stick) to get around, he's a second class citizen, he's agreed with his partner to stay at Hillview because they both recognise how sick he's getting.

Faber is not a mental health patient/omega like Lucien is. He's a staff member who is nursing unrequited loved to an alpha companion, that he's refused to disclose, while still interacting with Caleb and his omegas. Imho, while Lucien is very good at lashing out, he's not wrong to, and that's why Faber fully acknowledges what Lucien is saying and listens to him, and basically never interacts with him again, and avoids Caleb where possible.

Lucien's mean about it, but Lucien is right re: Faber trying to hide his feelings because he knows what will happen if people find out, and that it's also wrong/unfair to put Lucien in that position.

And Faber knows that.

So yeah. The reader is meant to hate Lucien on a surface level, in the same way that Faber does.

But consider that Faber also sometimes seems to hate all omegas. He finds the smell of their heats disgusting. It's actually pretty normal for people to go through a phase of rejecting the thing that they are, if that's something hated in society. Faber's oscillating mixed feelings of bitterness, resentment and cutting attitude is actually mirrored in Lucien.

Faber has thought extremely savage, scathing and unforgiving things himself to the people around him (and himself). Lucien responds to Faber like Faber is an omega (something Faber doesn't recognise yet), because Faber...kind of acts like one in moments like that. (Efnisien also picks up on this, Faber is not great to him in the beginning of Underline the Black, in a very specific way designed for Efnisien to pick up on, and for Gary to miss. Faber behaves jealously, and constantly suggests to Gary that he should get rid of Efnisien, before he finally adjusts to the absence of Gary in his life. Faber is possessive and manipulative!)

Lucien ultimately doesn't need any redeeming characteristics because he's a victim who is at Hillview to heal and Faber is jeopardising that. We can hate him, but that's just the fact. He didn't try to kill Kadek when he arrived at Hillview, he hasn't tried to destroy memories of James, things Efnisien has done even though we love him all the same (ideally). Lucien felt understandably jealous/insecure (literally the thing he's at Hillview to be treated for, safe from people who will be in love with his lover until Faber) and he lashed out meanly.

If a staff member of Hillview can't handle some rude words, they shouldn't work there.

But yeah, I like the Lucien and Faber encounter because they are both extremely similar people in some ways. They are both bitter, jealous, resentful people capable of very scathing thoughts (and words). The only difference is that in that moment, Faber is the recipient and we feel bad for him. I mean, I do feel bad for him. Faber is in a bad place psychologically, it's a horrible thing for him to experience.

If we were getting Lucien's story from his perspective, and saw the panic attacks he had afterwards, and the regression he went through, etc. it might be different. But it doesn't have to be! Lucien in that moment functions as a reality check for Faber, and a very effective one at that. We're meant to hate him, but also meant to understand that Faber's love for Caleb is not as subtle as he thinks it is in the sense that - omegas can see it for what it is.

I personally like the one moment where we see that Lucien might have a heart when Faber admits his parents are dead, and we can see that he doesn't react with savage satisfaction, but like Faber broke the narrative he'd built for himself in his own insecure, jealous, scared mind.

[honeygrahambitch]

Came across a poll regarding who the best therapist in Hannibal nbc is and I just want to ask if the people who voted for Alana Bloom are talking about the Alana Bloom in the series

[screambirdscreaming]

I used to like saying "gender is a social construct," but I stopped saying that because people didn't tend to react well - they thought that I was saying gender wasn't real, or didn't matter, or could be safely ignored without consequences. Which has always baffled me a bit as an interpretation, honestly, because many things are social constructs - like money, school, and the police - and they certainly have profound effects on your life whether or not you believe in them. And they sure don't go away if you ignore them.

Anyway. What I've taken to saying instead is, "gender is a cultural practice." This gives more of a sense of respect for the significance gender holds to many people. And it also opens the door to another couple layers of analysis.

Gender is cultural. It is not globally or historically homogeneous. It shifts over time, develops differently in different communities, and can be influenced by cross-cultural contact. Like many, many aspects of culture, the current status of gender is dramatically influenced by colonialism. Colonial gender norms are shaped by the hierarchical structure of imperialist society, and enforced onto colonized cultures as part of the project of imperial cultural hedgemony.

Gender is practiced. What constitutes a gender includes affects and behaviors, jobs or areas of work, skillsets, clothing, collective and individual practices of gender affiliation and affirmation. Any or all of these things, in any combination, depending on the gender, the culture, and the practitioner.

Gender encompasses shared cultural archetypes. These can include specific figures - gods and goddesses, mythic or fictional characters, etc - or they can be more abstract or general. The Wise Woman, Robin Hood, the Dyke, the Working Man, the Plucky Heroine, the Effete Gay Man, etc etc. The range of archetypes does not circumscribe a given gender, that is, they're not all there is to gender. But they provide frameworks and reference points by which people relate to gender. They may be guides for ways to inhabit or practice a gender. They may be stereotypes through which the gendered behavior of others is viewed.

Gender as a framework can be changed. Because it is created collectively, by shared acknowledgement and enforcement by members of society. Various movements have made significant shifts in how gender is structured at various times and places. The impact of these shifts has been widely variable - for example, depending on what city I'm in, even within my (fairly culturally homogeneous) home country, the way I am gendered and reacted to changes dramatically. Looping back to point one, we often speak of gender in very broad terms that obscure significant variability which exists on many scales.

Gender is structured recursively. This can be seen in the archetypes mentioned above, which range from extremely general (say, the Mother) to highly specific (the PTA Soccer Mom). Even people who claim to acknowledge only two genders will have many concepts of gendered-ways-of-being within each of them, which they may view and react to VERY differently.

Gender is experienced as an external cultural force. It cannot be opted out of, any more than living in a society can be opted out of. Regardless of the internal experience of gender, the external experience is also present. Operating within the shared cultural understanding of gender, one can aim to express a certain practice of gender - to make legible to other people how it is you interface with gender. This is always somewhat of a two-way process of communication. Other people may or may not perceive what you're going for - and they may or may not respect it. They may try to bring your expressed gender into alignment with a gender they know, or they might parcel you off into your own little box.

Gender is normative. Within the structure of the "cultural mainstream," there are allowable ways to practice gender. Any gendered behavior is considered relative to these standards. What behavior is allowed, rewarded, punished, or shunned is determined relative to what is gender normative for your perceived gender. Failure to have a clearly perceivable gender is also, generally, punished. So is having a perceivable gender which is in itself not normative.

Gender is taught by a combination of narratives, punishments, and encouragements. This teaching process is directed most strongly towards children but continues throughout adulthood. Practice of normatively-gendered behaviors and alignment with 'appropriate' archetypes is affirmed, encouraged, and rewarded. Likewise 'other'- gendered behavior and affinity to archetypes is scolded, punished, or shunned. This teaching process is inherently coercive, as social acceptance/rejection is a powerful force. However it can't be likened to programming, everyone experiences and reacts to it differently. Also, this process teaches the cultural roles and practices of both (normative) genders, even as it attempts to force conformity to only one.

Gender regulates access to certain levers of social power. This one is complicated by the fact that access to levers of social power is also affected by *many* other things, most notably race, class, and citizenship. I am not going to attempt to describe this in any general terms, I'm not equipped for that. I'll give a few examples to explain what I'm talking about though. (1) In a social situation, a man is able to imply authority, which is implicitly backed by his ability to intimidate by yelling, looming, or threatening physical violence. How much authority he is perceived to have in response to this display is a function of his race and class. It is also modified by how strongly he appears to conform to a masculine ideal. Whether or not he will receive social backlash for this behavior (as a separate consideration to how effective it will be) is again a function of race/class/other forms of social standing. (2) In a social situation, a woman is able to invoke moral judgment, and attempt to modify the behavior of others by shame. The strength of her perceived moral authority depends not just on her conformity to ideal womanhood, but especially on if she can invoke certain archetypes - such as an Innocent, a Mother, or better yet a Grandmother. Whether her moral authority is considered a relevant consideration to influence the behavior of others (vs whether she will be belittled or ignored) strongly depends on her relative social standing to those she is addressing, on basis of gender/race/class/other.

[Again, these examples are *not* meant to be exhaustive, nor to pass judgment on employing any social power in any situation. Only to illustrate what "gendered access to social power" might mean. And to illustrate that types of power are not uniform and may play out according to complex factors.]

Gender is not based in physical traits, but physical traits are ascribed gendered value. Earlier, I described gender as practiced, citing almost entirely things a person can do or change. And I firmly believe this is the core of gender as it exists culturally - and not just aspirationally. After the moment when a gender is "assigned" based on infant physical characteristics, they are raised into that gender regardless of the physical traits they go on to develop (in most circumstances, and unless/until they denounce that gender.) The range of physical traits like height, facial shape, body hair, ability to put on muscle mass - is distributed so that there is complete overlap between the range of possible traits for people assigned male and people assigned female. Much is made of slight trends in things that are "more common" for one binary sex or the other, but it's statistically quite minor once you get over selection bias. However, these traits are ascribed gendered connotations, often extremely strongly so. As such, the experience of presented and perceived gender is strongly effected by physical traits. The practice of gender therefore naturally expands to include modification of physical traits. Meanwhile, the social movements to change how gender is constructed can include pushing to decrease or change the gendered association of physical traits - although this does not seem to consistently be a priority.

Gender roles are related to the hypothetical ability to bear children, but more obliquely than is often claimed. It is popular to say that the types of work considered feminine derive from things it is possible to do while pregnant or tending small children. However, research on the broader span of human history does not hold this up. It may be true of the cultures that gave immediate rise to the colonial gender roles we are familiar with - secondary to the fact that childcare was designated as women's work. (Which it does not have to be, even a nursing infant doesn't need to be with the person who feeds it 24 hours a day.) More directly, gender roles have been influenced by structures of social control aiming for reproductive control. In the direct precursors of colonial society, attempts to track paternal lineage led to extreme degrees of social control over women, which we still see reflected in normative gender today. Many struggles for women's liberation have attempted to push back these forms of social control. It is my firm opinion that any attempt to re-emphasize childbearing as a touchstone of womanhood is frankly sick. We are at a time where solidarity in struggle for gender liberation, and for reproductive rights, is crucial. We need to cast off shackles of control in both fights. Trying to tie childbearing back to womanhood hobbles both fights and demeans us all.

Gender is baked deeply enough into our culture that it is unlikely to ever go away. Many people feel strongly about the practice of gender, in one way or another, and would not want it to. However we have the power to change how gender is structured and enforced. We can push open the doors of what is allowable, and reduce the pain of social punishment and isolation. We can dismantle another of the tools of colonial hedgemony and social control. We can change the culture!

[elftwink]

have to work on a project today and an unrelated thing happened that just made me so so so so so mad (just some irl personal stuff), which normally derails my entire day because i find it so hard to come out of the angry/upset state and tend to just circle back and obsess over whatever triggered it but! today after 20 minutes of that i had a council meeting about it (<- what i call my decision making process) the outcome of which was putting it aside (!!!) for later when i could actually talk about it and resolve it (!!!) & in the meantime we could just do other stuff.

local man exuberant and jubilated to achieve feats of basic emotional self-regulation and was seen excitedly telling reporters he "never thought this day would come" and began giving a thank you speech to nobody in particular. more on this story as it develops

[cat-dragron]

I'm still so mad that August Kitko was such a mid book and like I would go do far as to say maybe it was bad but it's likely it just wasn't for me.

And then I read Hell Followed With Us and realize hey now... there's a lot of similarities between these two books and wow i am enjoying this other book way more. I almost want to dig into that and figure out why. Can you ever dislike something so much you want to take a scalpel to it and dissect it to find the bloody heart? Yeah that's what I'm feeling with August Kitko... it kinda sucks but I need to know why it makes me so mad.

[acourtofquestions]

Golden flame danced between her fingers.

Elide recoiled, and the fire vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

"My name is Essar," the female said softly. "I am a friend--of your friends, I believe."

Elide said nothing.

"Cairn is a monster," Essar said, taking a step closer. "Stay far from him."

"I need to find him."

"You played the part of his mistreated lover well enough. You have to know something about him. What he does."

"If you know where he is, please tell me." She wasn't above begging.

Essar ran an eye over Elide. Then she said, "He was in this city until yesterday. Then he went out to the eastern camp." She pointed with a thumb over a shoulder. "He's there now."

"How do you know?"

"Because he's not terrorizing the patrons of every fine establishment in this town, glutting himself on the coin Maeve gave him when he took the blood oath."

Elide blinked. She had hoped some of the Fae might be opposed to Maeve, especially after the battle in Eyllwe, but to find such outright distaste...

Essar then added, "And because my sister--the soldier you spoke with--told me. She saw him in the camp this morning, smirking like a cat."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because you are wearing Lorcan's shirt, and Rowan Whitethorn's cloak. If you do not believe me, inform them who told you and they will." Elide cocked her head to the side.

Essar said softly, "Lorcan and I were involved for a time."

They were in the midst of war, and had traveled for thousands of miles to find their queen, and yet the tightness that coiled in Elide's gut at those words somehow found space. Lorcan's lover. This delicate beauty with a bedroom voice had been Lorcan's lover.

"I'll be missed if I'm gone for too long, but tell them who I am. Tell them that I told you. If it's Cairn they seek, that is where he shall be. His precise location, I don't know." Essar backed away a step. "Don't go asking after Cairn at other taverns. He isn't well regarded, even amongst the soldiers. And those who do follow him... You do not wish to attract their interest."

Essar made to turn away, but Elide blurted,

"Where did Maeve go?"

Essar looked over her shoulder. Studied her.

The female's eyes widened. "She has Aelin of the Wildfire," Essar breathed.

Elide said nothing, but Essar murmured, "That was... that was the power we felt the other night." Essar swept back toward Elide. Gripped her hands. "Where Maeve went a few days ago, I don't know. She did not announce it, did not take anyone with her. I often serve her, am asked to... It doesn't matter. What matters is Maeve is not here. But I do not know when she will return."

Relief again threatened to send Elide crumpling to the ground. The gods, it seemed, had not abandoned them just yet.

But if Maeve had taken Aelin to the outpost where they'd lied that the Valg prince had been contained...

Elide gripped Essar's hands, finding them warm and dry. "Does your sister know where Cairn resides in the camp?"

For long minutes, then an hour, they had talked.

Essar left and returned with Dresenda, her sister. And in that alley, they had plotted.

Elide finished telling Rowan, Lorcan, and Gavriel what she'd learned. They sat in stunned silence for a long minute.

"Just before dawn," Elide repeated. "Dresenda said the watch on the eastern camp is weakest at dawn. That she'd find a way for the guards to be occupied. It's our only window."

Rowan was staring into the trees, as if he could see the layout of the camp, as if he were plotting his way in, way out.

"She didn't confirm if Aelin was in Cairn's tent, though," Gavriel cautioned. "Maeve is gone--Aelin might be with her, too."

"It's a risk we take," Rowan said. A risk, perhaps, they should have considered.

Elide glanced to Lorcan, who had been silent throughout. Even though it had been his lover who had helped them, perhaps guided by Anneith herself. Or at least had been tipped off by the scent on Elide's clothes.

"You think we can trust her?" Elide asked Lorcan, though she knew the answer.

Lorcan's dark eyes shifted to her. "Yes, though I don't see why she'd bother."

"She's a good female, that's why," Rowan said.

At Elide's lifted brow, he explained, "Essar visited Mistward this spring. She met Aelin." He cut a glare toward Lorcan. "And asked me to tell you that she sends her best."

Elide hadn't seen anything that came close to pining in Essar's face, but gods, she was beautiful. And smart. And kind. And Lorcan had let her go, somehow.

[cursedthing]

.havign lots of thoughts about how npcs are portrayed learning about the nature of their universe in works

[awritersrejections]

particular thanks to @lyricwritesprose for the analysis