#we have no future without first solving our problems today
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i think I'm just emotional tonight, but as I was staring into the night, I was just struck by how big everything is.
I can't visit all of the places in the world, not truly, not to the extent I want to. Neither can I consume all of the information there is, it's impossible. I'm just struck by how beautifully unfathomable everything is.
And that's just on earth. To think that there's the possibly that there other inhabited worlds out there, with their own unfathomable cultures. And even if there isn't! Just everything.
There's so much to learn and see, that I can't even imagine or comprehend. I am so small and insignificant and yet everything is so beautiful.
#midnight ramblings#i just love the world so much#even with all the fuckery#we are so beautiful and so is everything#but as much as i want to picture this bright and beautiful future where we can comprehend more and continue to find things that we can't#i know we must first acknowledge and fight back against what atrocities happen currently#we have no future without first solving our problems today#we must look to the future but stay in the present and remember the past#i love everyone and everything and i hope we have a future even more beautiful than we can currently imagine#and I don't want to cloud the tag but Free Palestine Look Out for our Queer Russian ( and other ) Siblings who are being discriminated#and fucking vote#this is likely not making any sense because I am tired and sad currently
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The Cost of Duty
Gwayne Hightower x Fem!Reader
Summary: Gwayne Hightower, is summoned in Kingslanding during his wife’s first pregnancy. After giving birth to their son without him, she struggles to forgive Gwayne upon his return.
Warnings: lots of angst because our girl is alone but a good ending i guess ?
A/N: no use of Y/N and also included Daeron in the fanfic, he’s 7 yrs old and raised by Gwayne and his wife
- Word count: ≈2.9k
Your hand rests on your growing belly, feeling the subtle movements of your child. The babe is still small, just five moons along, but every tiny kick, is a reminder of the life growing inside you, a life you created with Gwayne. Yet, as the days pass, it feels like you are experiencing this miracle alone.
The door creaks open, and Gwayne steps inside, his expression tired as he pulls off his gloves. His face is lined with the exhaustion of someone who has been carrying the weight of Oldtown on his shoulders.
You watch him as he moves around the room, setting his things aside without a word. A part of you wants to let it go, to simply accept that he is busy, that he is doing his duty. But another part aches for his attention, for the warmth and closeness you once shared.
"Gwayne," you say, your voice soft.
He looks up, his eyes briefly meeting yours before he looks away again. "Yes, my love?"
You hesitate, trying to find the right words. "You've been so distant lately," you begin, trying to keep a calm tone. "I understand that your duties are important, but... I miss you. I miss us."
He sighs, rubbing his temple as he moves closer to you. "I know, my love. I know it has been difficult. But there is so much that needs my attention. With Father in King’s Landing, everything falls to me."
"But what about me?" you ask, your voice rising slightly. "What about our child? I need you, Gwayne. We need you."
He looks at you, with guilt in his eyes. "I am here now, am I not? I’m doing the best I can. But Oldtown... it doesn’t run itself."
You stand, unable to keep your frustration to yourself. "And what about me? Do I run myself too? I sit here every single day, waiting for you, hoping for just a moment of your time. But when you finally come, it’s like you’re not really here.”
You pause.
“You do not even look at me unless I speak to you first."
Gwayne steps back, as if putting distance between you would solve your problems. "I do not have the privilege of simply putting things aside, my dear. You knew this when we married."
"I didn’t know it would mean being ignored!" you snap, your hands trembling as you grip the skirts of your dress tightly.
He takes a deep breath. "I’m doing this for us, for our future. The child’s future. Can you not see that?"
Tears threaten to fall out your eyes, but you refuse to cry. "I just want my husband back," you whisper.
Gwayne’s face softens, and he reaches out to touch your arm, but you pull away before he can touch you. “My love-"
"Don’t," you say, "Just... don’t."
He watches you for a moment, but he says nothing more, only turning and leaving the room, the sound of the door closing behind him, leaving you alone again.
Days pass, and the tension between you two only grows. Gwayne is present, but his mind is always on his duties. You feel as if you’re growing further and further away from him.
One evening, after a long day, Gwayne finally sits down beside you as you take your evening meal. You’ve been silent for most of the day, and now the sight of him so close yet so distant is almost unbearable.
He clears his throat, breaking the silence. "I have received a raven from King’s Landing today," he begins.
"And?" You replied unphased, not even looking at him.
"Father has summoned me," he says, "He needs my presence to sort out some political matters."
You place your spoon down. "King’s Landing?" you repeat, disbelief in your words. "That’s so far... and I’m already five moons along, Gwayne."
"I know," he says, his voice low. "But I will be returning as soon as I can. I won’t let anything keep me from being here for the birth."
You shake your head, unable to believe what you’re hearing. "You don’t know that. What if something happens? What if you don’t make it back in time?"
"I will," he insists, reaching for your hand, but you pull it back.
"You’re not listening to me!" you raise your voice at him, your frustration taking over. "You’re choosing to leave. You’re choosing your father over me. Over us."
He frowns. "It’s not a choice, my dearest. It is a duty. My father needs me."
"And I need you," you sob, your voice breaking. "I can’t do this alone, Gwayne. I shouldn’t have to. You are my husband before anything else."
He reaches out again, but this time you stand, moving away from him. "Please," he begins, but you shake your head.
"Don’t ask me to understand," you say, "Because I don’t."
After a long moment of silence, you hear him rise from his seat. "I’m leaving in three days time," he says quietly, his voice filled with regret. "Please, try to rest.”
You say nothing, you hear the door close behind him, and you break down crying, once again, you are left alone.
The night before he’s supposed to leave, Gwayne comes to your shared chambers, his expression softer than it’s been in weeks. He moves to sit beside you on the bed, his hand resting on your knee.
"I know you’re angry with me," he begins, his voice gentle. "But I don’t want to leave on bad terms. I love you. You must know that."
You turn to face him, your emotions a mix of anger, sadness, and love. "If you loved me, you wouldn’t be leaving."
He looks surprised, but he doesn’t argue. Instead, he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your neck, his hand sliding up your nightgown. "Let me show you," he murmurs as he presses tender kisses down your collarbone.
But the anger and hurt are still too fresh. You place a hand on his chest, pushing him back firmly. "Not tonight, Gwayne."
He pulls back, surprise and hurt showing in his eyes. "My love..."
"I can’t," you say, "I’m still angry. I need...time."
He nods understandingly. "I am sorry," he whispers, pulling you into his arms despite your anger. "I am truly, so sorry."
You let him hold you, sobbing into his arms without saying a word.
Gwayne leaves at dawn, you watch from the window, your hand resting over your belly as he rides away. He turns once, looking back, but you don’t move. You don’t wave.
As the days turn into weeks, the loneliness only grows. Gwayne’s absence is a constant reminder of the growing distance between you. You try to busy yourself with tasks; embroidering blankets for the babe, reading, even taking long walks through the gardens. But nothing can fill the void he has left behind.
You spend time with Daeron, Gwayne’s youngest nephew, who has been staying in Oldtown under your and your husband’s care since he was born, and he had now seven years of age.
One afternoon, as the two of you sit beneath the shade of a large tree, Daeron looks up at you sadly.
You reach out, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. “What’s on your mind, sweetling?”
Daeron glances up at you, his blue eyes filled with a sadness. “Auntie… will you and Uncle Gwayne forget about me when the babe is born?”
The question catches you off guard. You shift closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him into a gentle embrace. “Forget about you? Never, Daeron. Why would you think such a thing?”
He shrugs, trying to appear indifferent, but his voice trembles as he speaks. “Because the babe is your child. He’ll be important, and I’m just… I’m just your nephew.”
You tighten your hold on him, your heart breaking at the thought that he feels so insecure. “Daeron, listen to me,” you say softly. “You are not just our nephew. You’re as much a part of this family as the babe will be. Gwayne and I love you dearly, and nothing will ever change that.”
His eyes fill with tears. “But… he’ll be your real son. Won’t you love him more?”
You shake your head. “Of course not, sweetling. I will love both of you equally, just as if you were both my sons. I promise you that. You and the babe will grow up together, and I will raise you both as brothers. Nothing will change how much I care for you.”
Daeron’s lip trembles, and he finally allows himself to lean into your hug, resting his head against your shoulder. “You mean it? You won’t forget about me?”
You press a kiss to the top of his head. “I mean it, Daeron. You are very dear to me. The babe will be your little brother, and he will look up to you, just like you look up to Gwayne. I’m sure you’ll be the best big brother anyone could ask for.”
He sniffles but nods. “I will teach him all the things I know. How to ride a horse, and how to climb trees…”
“And how to be kind and brave, just like you,” you add with a smile.
Daeron smiles a little. “I’ll do my best. I promise.”
You hug him tighter. “I know you will, Daeron. And I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”
He pulls back slightly, looking up at you with determination. “I’ll be the best big brother ever.”
You smile, ruffling his hair affectionately. “I’m sure you will be, my love. And the babe will be so lucky to have you as his brother.”
The boy’s expression softens as he looks at your belly. “Do you think he’ll be just like uncle Gwayne? Brave and strong?”
You hesitate for a moment, the thought of Gwayne filling your mind with sadness. “Perhaps,” you say gently.
Daeron nods, then his face brightens again as he looks up at you. “Can I help you pick out a name for him?”
Your smile widens at the offer. “Of course. Do you have any ideas?”
He thinks for a moment, his brow furrowing in concentration. “What about Maelor? It’s a strong name, isn’t it?”
You tilt your head, considering the name. “Maelor…” you say slowly. “Yes, it is a strong name.”
Daeron smiles, clearly proud of himself. “I can’t wait to meet him, auntie. We’re going to have so much fun together.”
As the months drag on, you begin to feel your belly grow heavier each day. Letters from Gwayne arrive frequently, filled with words of love and concern, but you don’t care to answer them.
You feel alone, as the weeks turn into months and the baby gets more active. Every kick is a reminder that the time is running out and you can only hope that Gwayne comes back in time.
But as your belly grows, so too does your anxiety.
One evening, you feel a sharp pain. You clutch at your belly. It’s too soon, you think. Gwayne isn’t here. He promised he would be here.
The pain intensifies, and you know without a doubt that the babe is coming. Your maids rush to your side, their faces filled with worry as they help you to your bed. The midwives and the maester are summoned.
You grip the sheets, your knuckles turning white. “It’s too soon,” you gasp, tears streaming down your face. “Gwayne isn’t here… he isn’t here…”
The midwife shushes you gently, wiping the sweat from your forehead. “Breathe, my lady. Focus on the baby. He’s eager to meet you.”
The labor is long, painful, and each moment is filled with fear.
At one point, you feel that you can’t go on, the pain too much to bear. “I can’t,” you cry out, “I can’t do this…”
“You can, my lady,” the midwife insists. “You’re strong. Your baby needs you.”
The room is full of faces, of whispers and encouragements, of hands holding yours as you push with all your strength.
Hours pass, and just when you think you have nothing left to give, you hear it. A loud cry that fills the room. The midwives wrap the tiny babe in soft blankets before placing him in your arms.
Tears stream down your face as you look down at your son cry. He’s perfect, you think.
“Maelor,” you whisper, “my sweet Maelor.”
Days pass, and the babe grows stronger, his cries filling the empty chambers that once were filled with silence. Daeron is overjoyed to meet his new brother.
“Can I hold him?” Daeron asks one afternoon, his eyes wide with excitement.
You smile, carefully placing Maelor in his small arms. “Support his head,” you instruct gently, watching as Daeron cradles the baby with surprising care.
“He’s so small,” Daeron whispers. “Will he be strong like uncle Gwayne?”
You nod, your heart filled with pride. “He will. But he’ll also have your kindness, Daeron. He’ll need you to show him how to be a good man.”
Daeron’s face lights up, and he nods eagerly. “I will. I promise.”
You watch as Daeron gently rocks Maleor, your heart warming at the sight. For a moment, the loneliness fades, replaced by the joy of watching your sons together.
But as the days turn into weeks, Geayne sends letters, each one more desperate than the last, asking about Lucerys, about you, about your health. But you can’t bring yourself to respond, the anger still too fresh.
Maelor grows, his tiny fists curling around your fingers, tugging at your hair, his eyes beginning to focus on your face. He’s beautiful, perfect in every single way, and yet every time you look at him, you’re reminded of Gwayne’s absence.
Two months pass before Gwayne finally returns. Word reaches you that he is only an hour away, but you remain in the nursery, rocking your son in your arms as you sit by the window.
Despite knowing Gwayne is coming home, you make no move to greet him at the gates.
Footsteps approach, and a moment later the door to the nursery swings open. Gwayne stands there, his eyes searching for you immediately. He takes a step inside, his gaze falling on you and the child in your arms. “My love…”
You do not look up, focusing instead on Maelor. Gwayne approaches you, dropping to his knees beside you. “Please, look at me. I am so sorry…”
You remain silent, unwilling to let your emotions show. Gwayne reaches out, placing his hand on top of yours. “I know I’ve hurt you. I never meant to be away for so long. I didn’t think it would be so… difficult.”
You glance up then, your eyes meeting his.
“I needed you,” you say quietly. “I went through the hardest moments of my life without you, Gwayne. And now… now you come back and expect everything to be as it was?”
“I do not expect that,” he says, “I know I’ve done wrong. And I can’t change what’s happened… but please, give me a chance to make it right. I want to be here for you, for our son.”
You look down at your son, your heart aching. “Maelor is already two months old,” you say, your voice barely a whisper. “You’ve missed so much, Gwayne. His first smile, the way he grabs my finger when he’s hungry… you weren’t here.”
Gwayne’s breath hitches, and he finally touches Maelor’s tiny hand, his fingers trembling as they brush against the babe’s soft skin. “I know,” he whispers. “I am truly so sorry, my love. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life. Please… let me be here now. Let me be the father he deserves, the husband you deserve.”
“We’ll see,” you say quietly. “For now, all that matters is that Maelor is healthy and safe.” You pause and take a deep breath, “But… I want us to be a family, Gwayne. For Maelor and Daeron.”
Gwayne nods. “Thank you,” he whispers, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your son’s forehead. “Thank you for giving me a healthy son, my dear. I promise, I’ll spend the rest of my life making this right.”
You watch as he cradles the babe in his arms, the sight filling you with joy.
PS: I know I have to start writing for other characters, I just love this man so much 😔 So just a reminder that my requests are open 🥰🥰
#gwayne fanfic#gwayne hightower#gwayne hightower fanfic#gwayne hightower x reader#gwayne hightower x you#gwayne imagine#gwayne x you#gwayne x reader#hotd fanfic#hotd fanfiction#hotd x reader#ser gwayne hightower#hotd season 2#hotd#hotd s2
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Throughout history, women have left an undeniable impact on society with their hard work, creativity, and dedication to progress. Unfortunately, their accomplishments have often gone unnoticed, been undervalued, or even stolen. Despite these challenges, brave women of today continue to push boundaries, break barriers, and pave the way for a more fair and equal world. It's our duty to keep going, so that future generations of women can inherit a kinder, more just, and supportive world. By following in the footsteps of the incredible women who came before us, we can create a world where every woman can flourish and succeed, and where their contributions are recognized and celebrated.
Joan of Arc is a patron saint of France, honored as a defender of the French nation for her role in the siege of Orléans and her insistence on the coronation of Charles VII of France during the Hundred Years' War. Claiming to be acting under divine guidance, she became a military leader who transcended gender roles and gained recognition as a savior of France. She was put on trial by Bishop Pierre Cauchon on accusations of heresy, which included blaspheming by wearing men's clothes, acting upon visions that were demonic, and refusing to submit her words and deeds to the judgment of the church. She was declared guilty and burned at the stake on 30 May 1431, aged about nineteen.
Rani Lakshmibai was the Maharani consort of the princely state of Jhansi from 1843 to 1853. She was one of the leading figures in the Indian Rebellion of 1857 became a symbol of resistance to the British rule in India for Indian nationalists. When the Maharaja died in 1853, the British East India Company under Governor-General Lord Dalhousie refused to recognize the claim of his adpoted heir and annexed Jhansi under the Doctrine of Lapse. She rode into battle with her infant son strapped to her back, and died in June 1858 after being mortally wounded during the British counterattack at Gwalior.
Rosalind Franklin was a British chemist and X-ray crystallographer whose work was instrumental in the discovery of the structure of DNA. Her contributions were largely overlooked by her male colleagues, James Watson and Francis Crick, who used her data without her permission or acknowledgement. This theft of her intellectual property and erasure of her contributions is a prime example of the systemic sexism that has historically plagued the scientific community.
Hedy Lamarr was an Austrian-American actress and inventor who co-invented a frequency-hopping spread spectrum technology during World War II that was used to guide torpedoes. However, her contributions were largely ignored and dismissed by male engineers and the military at the time. It was only later in life that she received recognition for her scientific achievements.
Emma Weyant is an American competitive swimmer. She was the US national champion at the individual medley. She qualified for the 2020 Olympic Games in the 400m individual medley and won the silver medal in this event. Weyant finished second in the 500-yard freestyle at the 2022 NCAA Division I Women's Swimming and Diving Championships. She was beaten by William (Lia) Thomas, a fetishist, who when competing as a member of the Penn men's team, which was 2018-19, ranked 554th in the 200 freestyle, 65th in the 500 freestyle and 32nd in the 1650 freestyle. Weyant is the fastest swimmer in the 500-yard freestyle and had her position stolen by a man.
Maryna Viazovska is a Ukrainian mathematician who made a breakthrough in sphere packing, solving the centuries-old mathematical problem known as the densest packing of spheres in dimensions 8 and 24. She was awarded the Fields Medal in July 2022, making her the second woman (after Maryam Mirzakhani), the second person born in the Ukrainian SSR and the first with a degree from a Ukrainian university to ever receive it.
Hannie Schaft was a Dutch resistance fighter during World War II who played a crucial role in the resistance movement against Nazi occupation. Schaft was a former university student who dropped out because she refused to sign a pledge of loyalty to Germany. Nazis arrested and killed her in 1945, just three weeks before the war ended in Europe. According to lore, Schaft’s last words were, “I’m a better shot,” after initially only being wounded by her executioner.
Shakuntala Devi was an Indian mathematician and mental calculator who was known as the "Human Computer" for her exceptional ability to perform complex mathematical calculations in her head. Her extraordinary abilities earned her a place in the 1982 Guinness Book of Records. Her lesser known achievement is that in 1977 she wrote what is considered to be the first book in India on homosexuality titled “The World of Homosexuals.”
J. K. Rowling is a British author and philanthropist. She wrote Harry Potter, a seven-volume children's fantasy series published from 1997 to 2007. Known for her philanthropy, she was doxxed and harassed after coming out with support for women's and gay rights in 2020. Rowling secretly donated hundreds of thousands of pounds to save 100 female lawyers and their families facing murder in Afghanistan. In 2022, she funded a women's only rape shelter in Edinburgh.
#this post was inspired by me being absolutely sick of trans activists claiming that joan of arc/rani lakshmibai/insert literally any other#strong woman#is actually a trans man#they were no man at all#women have been brave and strong and amazing throughout history#and they still are#if only you'd get your head out of your ass to take a look#radical feminism#radblr#terf#trans#misogny#i am no man
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lmao (from this CTF writeup):
The final step, emitting the target language, which is nowadays often NOT C, is our greatest weakness in 2024. A new generation of engineers and systems folk have discovered the fruits of Chris Lattner's labor and staked their claim on today's software landscape. Unfortunately for reverse engineers, we continue to deal with the Cambrian explosion in binary diversity without commensurate improvements in tools. We eat shit reading worsening pseudo-C approximations of things that are not C. This problem will probably not get solved in the near future. There is no market for a high-quality Rust decompiler. First, no one writes exploits or malware in languages like Rust or Haskell. Unlike C/C++/Obj-C, the Rust/Haskell/etc ecosystems are predominantly open-source further decreasing the need for reverse engineering. Lastly, improved source control and ready availability of managed enterprise services (i.e. GitHub) make first-party loss of source code much rarer nowadays. So like, no one really cares about decompiling Rust other than unfortunate CTF players. Golang is a notable exception. Golang is like, the language for writing malware--great standard library, good cross-platform support, brain-dead easy concurrency, easy cross-compilation, fully static linking, and design with junior programmers in mind. You could shit out a Golang SSH worm in like 200 LoC crushing carts and ketamine no problem. People worry about AGI Skynet hacking the Pentagon to trigger a nuclear holocaust but really it's more gonna be like eastern European dudes rippin' it with some hella gang weed ChatGPT ransomware. So maybe we'll get a good Golang decompiler first?
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Bound Souls - Part 2
Part 1 \\ Part 2
2. Lost
The September sun shines high in the clear sky as I walk through the university campus with a considerable dose of tension. I had spent the night imagining this moment, hoping everything would go smoothly.
I had studied the campus map countless times, but now, with my phone in hand and the map enlarged on the screen, everything seemed like total chaos. I absolutely had to find the theater for the course presentation.
"Okay, theater, theater... where's the theater?" I murmured to myself, trying to stay calm. I kept walking, zigzagging between chatty student groups and speeding bicycles. Anxiety grew inside me like an unstoppable wave. The map seemed like an unsolvable puzzle, and every building looked identical to the others.
As I tried to orient myself, I paused for a moment near a bench, attempting to interpret the arrows and signs on my phone's screen. "Ugh... I can't make sense of this!" I burst out, running a hand through my now disheveled red hair.
Head down, eyes glued to the screen, I continued walking without paying attention to anything when I suddenly felt a violent bump. Before I could realize what was happening, I was on the ground, my phone had flown away. I heard a groan and, looking up, saw a boy trying to get up with an angry expression.
"Are you blind?" he snapped, his forehead furrowed and his hands trying to brush the dust off his jeans. "Can't you watch where you're going?"
Still dazed, I hurried to pick up my phone before replying. "I'm sorry, really! I didn't mean to..."
"Didn't mean to? Didn't mean to what? Is it so hard to lift your eyes from your phone for a second?" I felt my face blush. My clumsiness had already caused me many problems in the past...
I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I tried to stay calm. "I know, you're right... it's just that I'm lost and was trying to orient myself with the map on my phone..."
The boy looked at me with an annoyed expression, ready to retort, but when our eyes met, something changed. The boy seemed to stop breathing for a moment, then his expression softened. "Never mind," he said, extending a hand to help me up.
I accepted the hand, still surprised by the sudden change in tone. "Thanks," I murmured, trying to tidy my hair and regain a bit of dignity.
"You're new here, aren't you?" he asked in a friendly tone.
I nodded shyly. "Exactly... today is my first day at college and nothing is going right. I'm trying to find the theater, but I have no idea where it is. Not to mention that being late for the first class of the year would be rather unpleasant and embarrassing."
"Don't panic... there's a solution to everything. So, you were looking for the theater, right? I know exactly where it is. I can show you if you want," he offered, with unexpected kindness.
"Yes, thank you very much. You would solve a big problem for me."
I followed him, grateful. As we walked through the campus, he pointed out various landmarks, explaining how to navigate in the future. I listened attentively, trying to memorize every detail.
"This place can seem like a maze at first," he said, "but you'll get used to it soon. And if you need anything, you can always ask someone. Most people here are friendly."
When we arrived in front of the theater, we stopped. It was an imposing building with large columns and an air of elegance. "Wow, it's beautiful."
The boy nodded. "Yes, it is. Well, now you also know where to find it."
I thanked him again. "Thank you so much. I don't know what I would have done without your help."
The boy, with a half-smile on his face, added, "You know, you haven't told me your name yet, freshman."
I felt my cheeks warm with embarrassment. "Oh, sorry! My name is Freya."
"Nice to meet you, Freya," he replied, with a warmer smile. "Well, good luck on your first day! See you soon."
I watched him as he walked away, silently cursing myself for not asking his name as well. I'm such a fool!
With a sigh, I turned toward the entrance of the theater and headed for the large wooden door, hearing the buzz of voices coming from inside.
As soon as I crossed the threshold, I realized the class had already started. The theater was dark, except for the illuminated stage where a man with glasses was speaking animatedly. I tried to make as little noise as possible as I headed for the rows of seats. I looked around quickly, hoping to find a free spot.
The only available seat was next to a girl with long blonde hair, who seemed to be completely absorbed in her notes. I approached timidly and whispered, "Is this seat free?"
The blonde girl looked up and smiled warmly. "Yes, of course, sit down!"
I sat and took out my notebook, trying to focus on the lesson. After a few minutes, during a pause by the professor, the blonde girl turned to me.
"Hi, I'm Marianna," she said with a welcoming smile.
I smiled back, relieved to find someone friendly. "I'm Freya. It's my first day and I've already managed to get lost and accidentally hurt a stranger. And the day has only just begun!"
Marianna laughed softly, trying not to disturb the lesson too much. "Don't worry, it happens to everyone! Even I spent yesterday wandering like crazy looking for my room. What are you studying?"
I replied, feeling increasingly at ease. "I'm studying to become a professional actress. You?"
"Me too! Fantastic, maybe we could study together sometime."
I nodded enthusiastically. "I would love that. Thanks, Marianna."
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Design Diary: Heaven in the Dust (Revised) - Playbooks
So here's the thing—Heaven in the Dust was the first Belonging Outside Belonging game I ever wrote.
It was published way back in January 2019 for the Record Collection jam into a largely-unexplored design space. Sleepaway wouldn't crowdfund until the end of that year. The design jam that produced Our Haunt was three months away. You could count the BOB games in existence without running out of fingers.
As a result of that, the ideas are strong but the execution is somewhat naive. See for yourself with Hades:
Looking back on this today, what do I see?
The picklists are perfunctory—often only one unique prompt per archetype—and pedestrian. The prompts themselves are uninflected (Wanderhome hasn't reshaped the possibility space yet).
There's too much focus on aesthetic, and not enough on narrative prompts. There only unique prompt focuses on the factory rather than on Hades. This needn't be a bad thing, as characterising him mainly through the business he runs could be interesting, but right now the factory prompt is surface-level—anything broader it says is up to the player.
The birthrights need to be punchier and snappier, and you're currently making a choice without context (the rules for them are at the bottom of the next column over).
In general there's good ideas in a lot of these picklists, but not some too-obvious ideas as well.
So then, a revised edition. Meet Hades, new and improved:
To start, we have a new picklist in a new format. This solves a couple of problems.
It explicitly states what was implicit in the original version: archetypes bring certain things with them. Hades has a factory, Persephone has a garden, Hephaestus has a strike, etc.
It lets the player assert some truths: about that thing, about their archetype, about the broader setting, about what has come before, about a sliver of hope that this might not be a tragedy after all.
It gives me room to assert some crucial details about that thing—Hades is not running an artisanal workshop, or a worker-owned collective, or a functional business. They're running a Gothic caricature of an industrial factory that is certainly fucked up somehow.
Next, a familiar picklist but with a crucial recasting in the prompt: products and byproducts. The difference between a factory churning out propaganda and a munitions manufacturer that incidentally produces propaganda is vast, and the prompt now invites you to play with that difference.
Another new picklist! This one characterises Hades both indirectly (as a boss, through what they forbid) and directly (as a person, through their mode of self-denial), which is a nice change from the blank slate of the previous version.
Aesthetics have been combined and condensed, nearly thirty prompts distilled down to a razor-sharp set of eleven. Narrowing it down to just three distinctive features (though I'm not a cop, choose as many as you like in play) invites people to make bolder and more evocative choices, and lean into them harder.
Relationship questions are sharper, punchier, and there's more of them. There's also explicit permission to keep asking questions after the initial two (which I may yet keep the "ask one left and one right" wording for), something that I've certainly seen players do in playtests.
Finally the birthright picklist now tells you what it's about before you choose. More than that, each archetype locks in a core birthright, which is a snappy way to communicate what the game's take on that mythological figure is, and the possible birthrights have been edited to be more distinct and evocative.
And that's Hades, before and after!
The same thought process has been applied to all the other archetypes, in addition to the new one I'm adding for the revised edition, and there've been additional changes to lures, failings, moves, etc that I might talk about in a future post.
I'm hopeful the revised edition will be playtest-ready by the end of September, and released by the end of the year.
My inbox is open if you're curious about the game or have any questions about the approach outlined in this post. Cheers!
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By: Szu Ping Chan
Published: Mar 31, 2024
Britain has a boy problem. If you are born male today, you are increasingly likely to struggle in school, in the workplace and at home.
The gender attainment gap is not new – girls have been outperforming boys at GCSE level for over three decades now, while the number of women completing degrees has exceeded the number of men since the 1990s.
But solving the problem of underachievement among boys has never been more crucial. Economic growth is stalling, productivity is flatlining and public finances are creaking under the strain of growing benefits bills.
At a time when businesses are struggling to hire, more and more men are dropping out of the workforce. Everyone in society must achieve their fullest potential if we are to fix our economic problems.
There is a political dimension too – William Hague earlier this month raised the alarm about the growing numbers of disaffected young men who, with little offered or promised to them in life, were turning to far-Right politics.
There is nothing innate about boys’ underachievement. There is no fundamental reason why outcomes should be getting worse.
Yet without a concerted effort to close the attainment gap, it seems destined to widen. Ever more men and boys will find themselves unwittingly consigned to life’s scrapheap.
The problem is clear – where are the solutions?
Deepening development gap
Before children even step a foot inside the classroom, boys are already behind.
The Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) notes that “a significant gender gap in both cognitive and socio-emotional development” emerges by the age of three.
By the time children start primary school, two-thirds of girls have reached a “good level of development”, suggesting they are able to write a simple sentence or count beyond 20.
Just under two-thirds of boys have hit that same milestone. For children eligible for free school meals, the disparity is even larger.
This gap that opens up at three never completely closes, according to the Institute for Fiscal Studies’ (IFS) analysis of Department for Education data.
“There’s a silent crisis brewing among boys and men in our classrooms, workplaces and communities,” says Richard Reeves, academic and author of Of Boys and Men, which explores the male malaise from cradle to career.
“Boys now lag behind girls and men lag behind women at almost every level of education. That’s true in nearly every rich economy.”
Reeves, a former adviser to Nick Clegg, the former deputy prime minister, says biology is behind some of this gap.
All the academic evidence suggests that the prefrontal cortex – or in Reeves’s words “the part of the brain that helps you get your act together” – develops around a year or two faster in girls than boys.
Girls are not smarter, they just mature faster, Reeves says. “Anyone who spends any time with teenagers knows exactly what I’m talking about.”
His conclusion is that there are simply some “natural advantages of women and girls in the education system”.
Rather than recognise and compensate for this, the system has in fact evolved in ways that favour girls. A switch to more coursework at GCSE level benefitted girls more than boys, according to the IFS, which noted that the gap in performance first emerged in the 1980s when exam-based O levels were replaced by GCSEs in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
“The shake-up brought a move towards more continuous assessment, which seems to have benefitted girls,” the IFS said in a recent paper.
This idea is “quite hard to get this across because many people say: well if girls and women always had this natural advantage, why didn’t we see it 40 years ago?” Reeves says. “The answer is sexism.
“There is no doubt my mum would have gone to university if she was born 50 years later, but it wasn’t considered to be a thing. But now having taken the lid off, that potential for women in education just keeps going. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just that along the way a lot more men have fallen behind.”
Woes of the white working class
Of course, it would be wrong to suggest women were doing better than men in the working world. A median gender pay gap of 7.7pc still shows women are being shortchanged.
After graduation, men are more likely to get a “highly skilled” job than women and average earnings for a male graduate are around 9pc higher than a female a year after they leave university, according to the IFS.
That gap rises to 31pc a decade later.
However, what is worrying academics, politicians and teachers is that attainment among men and boys seems to be declining while for women it improves.
Average pay adjusted for inflation has fallen by 6.9pc for men since 2008, according to ONS data. Among women, it has climbed 2.2pc. In fact, men’s wages are no higher in real terms today than they were in 2002.
Men have been behind the fall in average hours worked since the pandemic, while women are working more.
Louise Murphy at the Resolution Foundation says the worsening prospects for boys and men reflect structural factors.
“The industrial structure of the UK has changed. Some of these manufacturing jobs that existed don’t exist in the same way now.”
Reeves says: “It used to be true that men with relatively modest levels of education do OK in the labour market. And that is not always the case anymore.”
The experience of boys in schools has led them to “underperform in the labour market” more broadly, he adds.
Achievement has become a particular issue among one subset of boys in particular: the white working class.
“Too many people in society just see these boys as the people on mopeds with a balaclava on their head,” says Andy Eadie, assistant headteacher at Cardinal Langley school in Rochdale. “Actually, that’s only a tiny minority.”
Eadie has taught at the mixed comprehensive school of 1,200 pupils since 2016. A fifth of his pupils are eligible for free school meals.
Many have already been “written off” by teachers as soon as they enter the classroom, Eadie says, particularly if they are white working class boys.
“There is a perception that some boys are already signed off and have no hope,” he says.
“The danger is that people aren’t bothered about these gaps. They’re just bothered about keeping them quiet so they can get on with other things.”
Just 14.6pc of white working class boys went into higher education in 2021. This was the lowest figure of any ethnic or socio-economic group and a third of the overall average, according to research published by the House of Commons Library.
Eadie says: “A lot of young people in the white working class background actually have really low self-esteem.
“And so you’ve got a lot of young people who potentially all underachieve and not feel very good about themselves.”
There are signs that this malaise is adding to Britain’s worklessness crisis. One in three 18 to 24-year-old boys were classed as economically inactive – meaning they’re not in work or looking for a job – in the three months to January, a record high.
The figure is up by more than five percentage points since the end of 2019, before the pandemic. Inactivity among 50 to 64-year-old men has climbed five times slower over the same period.
The inactivity rate among young men has roughly doubled since the early 90s, with almost two million now out of the labour force.
Some are choosing to stay on in education but the share of men not in employment, education or training (NEET) is climbing back towards financial crisis rates at 15.3pc. For women, it has remained on a bumpy but downward path.
“I think it goes back to the idea that we just don’t expect our boys to do well. So they don’t do well,” says Conservative MP Nick Fletcher, who leads the All-Party Parliamentary Group (APPG) for men and boys.
Caroline Barlow, headteacher at Heathfield Community College, has submitted evidence to the APPG suggesting there was a culture of low expectations for male students.
“In the early days, there was a tendency to almost just be grateful if boys were there and they were doing some work,” she said.
By shifting teachers’ expectations of their pupils, results improved and Heathfield was also able to close the gender gap.
Fletcher says: “We expect our boys to behave badly, so they behave badly. We are letting our boys down and unless we actually recognise we have a problem, then we won’t really start searching for the solution.”
Where does the problem start? Some think it is in the home.
Family circumstances have changed dramatically over the past few decades, with a sharp rise in lone parent households as divorce becomes more common or people don’t even get married in the first place. The vast majority of children in these circumstances grow up with their mothers.
In part, this reflects the economic empowerment of women: they can afford to be a single parent.
However, it raises the question of where male role models are coming from. Research conducted jointly by the Fatherhood Institute found that fathers who read to their children every day are contributing to their development and can help to address early attainment gaps.
The Conservative peer Lord Willetts writes in his book, The Pinch: “A welfare system that was originally designed to compensate men for loss of earnings is slowly and messily redesigned to compensate women for the loss of men.”
This too can leave men rudderless in mid-life.
As Reeves puts it in his book: “Economically independent women can now flourish whether they are wives or not. Wifeless men, by contrast, are often a mess. Compared to married men, their health is worse, their employment rates are lower, and their social networks are weaker.”
‘Crisis in masculinity’
The underachievement of men and boys was once seen as almost taboo.
“There have been people who have sniggered when I stood up and asked for a minister for men and a men’s health strategy,” says Fletcher.
“I genuinely believe some of the problems we face are down to the lack of interest in young boys and men, who we’ve always assumed are going to be fine.”
However, politicians have now started to notice.
Wes Streeting, the shadow health secretary, has announced that Labour is looking at introducing a men’s health strategy to address what he describes as a “crisis in masculinity” that is costing lives.
It is understood that Labour’s forthcoming review into mental health by Luciana Berger will include a chapter that focuses on male suicide. It remains the biggest killer of British men aged under 35.
William Hague, the former Tory leader, believes the issue is reshaping politics. He recently highlighted that a majority of men now believe they are being discriminated against, which is fuelling support among young men for extreme parties.
Fletcher is calling for a dedicated minister for men to match the minister for women, Kemi Badenoch, who is also part of the Cabinet as Business Secretary.
Despite overwhelming evidence that boys are falling behind, some colleagues still treat the idea of a dedicated minister with ridicule.
Fletcher says: “I think one of the problems that we’ve had as a society is there’s a lot of reluctance to speak up for men. We’ve noticed it in parliament over the years.”
Reeves wants to challenge the longstanding assumption that gender gaps only run one way.
He takes particular issue with the World Economic Forum (WEF), which looks at progress on gender equality across the world.
Countries are scored on a scale from zero to one, with the former representing no equality and the latter signalling full equality. The problem, says Reeves, is that the index itself assumes that only women have any catching up to do.
For example, it “assigns the same score to a country that has reached parity between women and men and one where women have surpassed men”.
This is a deliberate choice. However, as a result the UK’s educational attainment score stands at 0.999 despite the fact that girls have clearly outperformed boys for decades.
Reeves believes continuing to publish the index in this way is damaging and leads “to a lack of policy attention to the problems of boys and men”. In short, he says: “It makes no sense to treat gender inequality as a one-way street.”
The Government insists it is making progress, with a Department for Education spokesman saying the gender gap “across most headline measures is narrowing across all key phases.
“Education standards have risen sharply across the country, with 90pc of schools now rated good or outstanding by Ofsted, up from just 68pc in 2010.”
Reeves offers some radical solutions to closing the attainment gap in his book, including starting boys a year later in school. Many teachers and academics believe this is not practical and Reeves himself says the idea was designed to spark a debate.
Reeves says the evidence also suggests children should take more frequent breaks at school because boys find it harder than girls to sit still. He himself was put in a special class for English because his teachers felt he lacked focus.
At Balcarras secondary school in Cheltenham, headteacher Dominic Burke felt the only way to tackle what used to be a 15pc gender gap in the GCSE results was to level with his students.
“We got the boys together en masse and said to them: ‘You’re going to underachieve. The girls are going to beat you hands down’. And then we showed them the evidence. Their ability profiles were the same. But we said the reality is girls are going to get better results than you and we challenge you to be the first year group to stop that. We called it the ‘effort challenge’.”
It worked. Competition and the offer of cold, hard cash was enough to encourage many to put the effort in. Boys who were judged to have done so received £20 at the end of term. The school managed to close the gender gap and a few years ago, the boys beat the girls for the first time.
“Competition does work I think, and it’s a good tactic for teaching because it becomes a rewarding experience to meet the challenge,” says Burke. “If you make something more engaging and enjoyable, people are more likely to do it.”
Healing
No survey of the state of boys and men in Britain today can ignore the changing ideas of masculinity.
Whereas men were once seen as breadwinners, American sociologists Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas point out that many women in poor US neighbourhoods have come to see them “as just another mouth to feed”. This is disorientating.
Yet perhaps the way to survive as a man in the job market of the future is to junk ideas of traditional masculinity altogether. Many of the jobs of the future will be in things like caring and education.
Reeves wants governments to spearhead a drive to get more men into health, education, administration, and literacy jobs – which he brands HEAL – just as they have ploughed efforts into getting more women into science, technology, engineering, and mathematics – or STEM roles.
Increasing the number of male teachers would also raise the number of role models for boys in class. Three-quarters of state school teachers are women, according to data published by the Department for Education.
The share of men working in state-funded nurseries is even lower, at just 14pc. Around 30pc of primary schools have no male teachers at all.
“I did actually get some funny looks when I first started,” says one male nursery worker who does not wish to be identified.
“Even now I tend to leave the cuddles to my female colleagues as I think there’s still a stereotype that any man who wants to work with young kids has to be some kind of pervert.”
Encouraging more men into these types of jobs would be no small undertaking. Perceptions that men are not suited to caring or creative professions are deep-seated.
Florence Nightingale, who in the 19th century established the principles of modern nursing, insisted that men’s “hard and horny” hands were “not fitted to touch, bathe and dress wounded limbs, however gentle their hearts may be”. The Royal College of Nursing did not even admit men as members until 1960.
Edward Davies, policy director at the Centre for Social Justice think tank, cautions: “It’s absolutely right to remove cultural, perceived and real barriers that keep men from certain careers, especially caring and teaching professions. But we also need to be careful not to pretend men and women are exactly the same.
“At a blunt population level women seem more interested in people and men in things. You would expect to see that reality play out in the jobs they do too. Imposing quotas or expectations that all professions should be evenly split between men and women will probably drive some people into careers they are not suited to.”
Fixing Britain’s boy problem may be harder than even experts think.
[ Via: https://archive.today/AFaiR ]
==
The people who talk endlessly about "equality" and "equal rights" are strangely silent when it comes to areas where boys and men fall behind: education, health and lifespan, and life satisfaction.
https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0205349
[ The Basic Index of Gender Inequality (BIGI, x-axis) as a function of the Human Development Index (HDI, y-axis).
BIGI is the average of 3 components: Ratio in healthy life span, ratio in overall life satisfaction, and ratio in educational opportunities during childhood (see Materials and Methods for details). Deviation from zero implies the extent of gender inequality. The plot shows the largest contributor to the overall score for each nation: Purple dots indicate healthy life span is the most important component, green dots indicate educational opportunities, and red dots indicate overall life satisfaction. The Ns indicate for each level of HDI how many nations have a BIGI score greater than 0, and how many less than 0. ]
Almost like it isn't "just about equality."
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✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #1 | 01.31.23
Welcome to Ravenstar Games' first devlog! ���💜 We are so excited to finally share this month's progress with all of you! It has been a surprisingly productive month for the team, and we have not only done everything we scheduled for January, but also some extra work!
I want to first and foremost congratulate my team for their wonderful job this month. We hope February will be another amazing month for us and the game!
We want to thank you all so much for sticking with us, for sending us asks, showering us with love and good vibes, and overall for just being here! Without further ado, let's jump into the devlog, shall we? 💜
One of January's highlights has been, without a doubt, Vycar's debut! He's one of six supporting characters you will meet in the demo, and he is very dear to the team.
Calm, shy and a bit of a workaholic, Vycar is the complete opposite of his Lord and close friend, Amon. The dynamic of these two is extremely fun to write, and you'll be seeing a great deal of it in Amon's route!
We did his concept art around late 2022, but this month we focused on his clothes, the color palette and his sprite.
He's not our first finished supporting character, though: we already did Neela's sprite—a character you'll also meet in the demo, and one of the main supporting characters of Envy's route— a few months ago. We want to do some tweaks as her sprite sadly is a bit outdated now compared to the rest of the cast, but you most likely will be meeting her soon! 💜
Ah, yes, the team's personal nightmare! This month we have made outstanding progress with our backgrounds: as of now, six out of ten backgrounds are ready for rendering, or are already finished!
I may as well point out that Raquel, our lead character artist, is also in charge of rendering the backgrounds, which is a ton of work. As we'll be focusing on the characters next month, it'll be a while until Raquel can keep working on finishing backgrounds, but the wait will be worth it! 💜 In the meantime, Astro and Kayden will keep working on them.
Here you have a WIP of one of the first places you'll visit in the demo: your kitchen! We also wanted to show how the background department works with this little gif. Every member of the team is in charge of a different stage; I, for example, write down a briefing for each background and create a moodboard for Astro, and then we all offer our feedback as he works.
Well, this is your mother's kitchen, but it counts...right?
Astro, our lead background concept artist, has also been working hard on bringing Lost in Limbo's world to life. We don't want to spoil too much, but as the director, I wanted to highlight Astro's work today, so I'm leaving here one of the concept pieces he did for another background, as a treat! 💜
What could possibly be happening here, I wonder...?
As of today, 76% of the demo script is coded! ✨ Courtesy of Seyl (that's me!), who has suddenly become a Ren'Py pro (quotation needed).
Jokes aside, we are slowly but surely getting closer to tie all the knots and solve all the mysteries behind Lost in Limbo's demo programming. The pronoun selection works great, the choices don't make the game explode, and variables change when they have to, which may not sound like a lot, but for us first-timers it is like a dream!
You can punch Amon in Lost in Limbo's demo! Yay!
For me, the most complicated thing has been programming the LIs sprites, as they will change clothes in the future, they blink, etc. A bunch of unexpected problems came out (as they always do) as I got familiar with Ren'Py, but fixing them has been an equally rewarding and maddening experience. There's a lot of work left to do and I'm sure I'll suffer a great deal trying to figure everything out, but isn't that the fun part?! Coping mechanism!
Honestly, as an adult who still has to count with her fingers, finding out that I can program with Ren'Py quite correctly is making me feel kind of smart.
Our UI is still on the making, but we hope we can show y'all some sneak peeks real soon!
Seyl's programming adventure also includes absolutely beautiful placeholders like this one, made by yours truly. We promise your mom looks better than this.
As for the writing department, I keep saying the prologue / demo script is finished, but I find myself going back to it to modify stuff. To this day there's still some changes I think can benefit the narrative—but I have to sit down and think about them thoroughly first. As the story grows and the plot thickens, it is my job to make the demo as engaging as possible, and I'm committed to it.
The first chapter of Amon's route is done, and the second is on the making. My plan is to at least write three chapters of every route before focusing on finishing one, to make sure all of them are coherent and cohesive.
January has been a good month for the team. I'd say that the progress we have made especially in the programming and background department has relieved us from a lot of stress.
Sadly, as you all know, Raquel, Astro and me are full time students, and our master degree is being quite intense. How much time we can dedicate to the game depends on the amount of work the master demands from us, so February could be as good as January for the game, or it could be not as fullfilling. Only time will tell! Know that in any case, we regularly work on the game.
If you've made it this far, thank you so much for your time! 💜 I hope it wasn't too boring, and please forgive my overworked brain if there's a bunch of nasty typos around. I promise I'll check the post (again) soon, just in case.
Sending you all a lot of love from the Ravenstar Team! Have an incredible week, take care, and remember to drink water!💜
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Tokiya Ichinose (Repeat) Memorial
Translator: Koto (Twitter: kotowari16)
Proofreader: Mimi (Twitter: _mimisaurora)
Reason
Just why did this have to happen on a day like this…?
I had been keeping an eye on the clock ever since this morning, even while taking proper care to do the things that had to be done.
We have been working hard for this day.
Taking lesson after lesson, pushing each other to grow.
And yet…
Why, did I all of a sudden… and why today…?
No, it’s too early to give up now already.
Fortunately, our performance is the last one.
If I could push the time, perhaps…
“There’s no way but to do it, right?”
I put in some effort and finished without mistakes.
“Thanks for your hard work!”
When I finished and got through the greeting, I started running.
I might still make it if I leave now!
Please, let me still be in time.
With thoughts like a prayer, I jumped on board the train.
One hour left until our performance.
If I took a taxi from the station closest to the academy, the probability isn’t zero.
I don’t usually take the train, but this time is different.
I can’t read the exact time by car.
There was danger of things blowing up because Hayato is on the train, so I disguised myself with a hat, mask and sunglasses and - Well, it worked out somewhat.
Later I only need to transfer, if I don’t miss that one…
I had hammered the shortest route in my head. I couldn’t even afford a mistake of 1 second.
I promised to have that performance with her, the first step towards our future. I could absolutely not be late.
Ever since enrolling, she had always continued to support me without saying anything.
She had made that song just for me.
I can’t think of any other partner besides her. I want to debut with her music.
And that’s why I don’t want to betray her as well.
I don’t want to create sad memories on a day like today.
Today, for the first time, we will perform her songs in front of a lot of people, and that day should be celebrated.
I’ll show you that I can make it in time.
I will gain her trust and we will definitely debut.
But contrary to my thoughts, reality is a cruel thing.
The train I was on came to a sudden stop.
Why not at a station…?
At least I could have gotten off at a station and transferred to a different line.
In this giant mass of silver with no place to run, my impatience only grew stronger.
My chest ached at the thought of her waiting until the last minute because she believed in me.
Continuing to wait for someone when you don’t even know if they will come, can’t help to be bitter about that.
However, …
She would be waiting, right?
“Hurry up…”
I noticed I had been strongly clenching my fist, and my nails had dug itself deeply into my hand, leaving red marks.
“Move. Start moving.”
Whether or not my prayer had gone through, the train finally started moving.
However, this didn’t mean the problem was solved.
The train arrived at the nearest station, and ended up coming to a halt again.
“I’m not waiting anymore.”
I jumped out at the station and picked up a taxi at the nearest road.
“To Saotome Academy… It doesn’t matter if you use the highway, please take the shortest route.”
“Got it.”
The taxy driver quickly understood my intention.
However, …
Just a few kilometres from Saotome Academy we got stuck into a traffic jam and the car came to a stop.
This is a one-way road, so you can’t make a detour.
The school festival performances should already have begun, right?
My time had already passed.
I wonder what she’s doing…
Would she have given up, or even, would she continue to wait while believing in me?
You can’t give up, until the last second…!
Please don’t give up.
“I’m sorry. I’m getting off.”
Even if I wait, the traffic jam might not be dissolved. That’s why I have no choice but to run.
“Please wait for me. I’ll definitely come rushing.”
I promised her.
That I would definitely come.
She said she would be waiting.
I can’t betray those feelings.
If they were on schedule, then all the performances should have been finished by now.
But if I hurry, I might still be able to sing a little.
I won’t let the time that I have spent with her until now go to waste.
My dream, and her as well…
To take everything…
I don’t want to give up on anything.
It’s not that everything goes successfully. I know to wish that is an illusion, but let me see my dream at any cost.
The future I walk with her.
The day I can debut as myself…
I can’t stop these feelings anymore.
I’m going now.
That’s why, I ask you.
Please wait for me.
Haruka!
Maybe because I’ve been running at full speed since I left the taxi, my mouth had become parch dry and my breathing was also laboured.
But my heart cannot stop.
With every step I take, my speed increases instead.
I want to see her.
I want to see her as fast as possible.
Only that thought was driving me.
I’m begging you.
Please…!
Feeling like I was praying, I opened the door to the lecture hall.
I lost my hope.
The performances had ended.
There was no one left to listen to our song.
The lighting was turned off, and the lecture hall had calmed down.
Only the afterglow of the enthusiasm remained.
However, she was there.
It had ended.
I didn’t make it in time.
I couldn’t uphold my promise.
And yet…
I was happy that you were there. I felt absolutely worthless for not having been able to make it in time…
When I found myself at the mercy of these two conflicting emotions, I ended up hugging her.
Thank you for waiting for me.
I’m sorry.
I ended up making you wait quite a lot.
I can’t lie to such a dedicated person any longer.
I will tell her everything, and on top of that, let’s do this together. (t/n: 共に歩むis often used in “let’s live our lives together” )
That’s what I decided in that moment.
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REVEIL: A Thrilling First-Person Game Coming to Linux and Steam Deck
REVEIL is a first-person thriller game headed to Linux and Steam Deck while launching on Windows PC. Thanks to Pixelsplit's creative talents for bringing this experience to life. Available today on Steam. The REVEIL release is all thanks to Pixelsplit and Daedalic Entertainment for collaborating, along with Arina Tara for the soundtrack. It's not just any music; it's a collection of original songs that echo the spine-tingling vibe of REVEIL's story. And if you're into music as much as I am, you'll want to check out the Funhouse Edition. It's not just the full soundtrack; it's an extra six songs. Plus, it's a great way to support both the developers and the artist. Now, speaking of support, here is what is happening with the native build:
We use Unity with HDRP. Our main goal with Linux was to have a native version of the game ready for Steam Deck.
A quick heads up for those looking to dive into REVEIL on Linux – there's a bit of a snag. The native version seems to have a memory leak issue that causes some crashes after playing for a bit. The team at Pixelsplit did the right thing and reached out to Unity about this hiccup a while back, but it seems like they're still waiting to hear back. But don't worry, Steam Deck users! There's a solid workaround. You can play the Windows version using Proton. It works smoothly and doesn't have that memory leak problem. So, while the Linux issue gets sorted out, you can still play the first-person thriller without a hitch Now, let's dive into what makes REVEIL stand out. It's a blend of visual allure and mental gymnastics. The puzzles are diverse, the clues are baffling, and the whole experience will also mess with your head. You're stepping into the shoes of Walter Thompson, and believe me, it's a wild ride.
REVEIL | FearFest Trailer
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You'll be exploring Walter Thompson's psyche and past, which gets increasingly murky and mysterious. The deeper you go, the more you're caught in a whirlpool of deceptive images, memory fragments, and bizarre visions. It's a puzzle you can't help but want to solve, even as hope fades. Your main drive? Finding Martha and Dorie. You've got to stay sharp, and also look for clues, and hang onto your sanity. Now, let's talk features. REVEIL isn't just playing a role; it's a deep psychological journey that makes you question everything. It's spread across five acts, each set in uniquely crafted settings. The first-person story is immersive while offering various puzzles and riddles that keep you hooked. Plus, it's stunning – the visual experience is a #madewithunity style. The narrative layers are impressive while blending psychedelic, biographical, and unsettling elements. The atmospheric touches, like paintings and posters, also brings the '60s circus era to life. The Funhouse Edition launches today. It's more than just a game; it's an experience, especially with its 60s circus-inspired setting that morphs into something surreal. REVEIL first-person thriller showed up at the Future Game Show and Fear Fest on Steam. And now, the wait is almost over – it launches today, March 6th for Windows PC. But offers Proton support for Linux with an intent to offer a native build on Steam. It's also priced at $17.99 USD / £15.29 / 17,99€ with the 10% discount. Dive into and experience this mind-bending journey. It's not just about playing; it's about immersing yourself in a story that promises to be as haunting as it is intriguing.
#reveil#first-person thriller#linux#gaming news#pixelsplit#ubuntu#steam deck#windows#pc#unity#Youtube
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HAVE LOVE WILL TRAVEL
Another drabble from prompts I get on a Discord server I belong to.
Asami answered her cell phone on its third ring. Opal was on the other end of the call and she blurted out, “Where the hell are you right now? I tried the mansion but no one answered.”
“I’m never home on Sundays…at least I haven’t been since Korra’s down south. I thought you knew that.”
“I guess I didn’t put two and two together, sorry!! How long has she been gone?” Opal questioned.
“She’s been gone for two months and I’m going crazy without her. She tells me all the time how much she misses me and I miss her too. I mean we talk every second day but I’m just not sleeping well without her. I just need to feel her next to me. Plus, our anniversary is coming up and I don’t know if she’ll be home or not. I feel like I’m losing it Ope.”
Asami knew that the confession she had just made would have Opal’s problem-solving skills kick into overdrive. It did not take long for Opal to respond.
“Aren’t you the CEO of a multi-billion yuan company?”
“Yes, I am and that’s why I’m in the office right now.”
“And you’re missing your wife?”
“More than the three years she was gone.”
Asami could picture Opal raising one of her eyebrows as they spoke on the phone. “Oh My Raava. You’re the boss. You’re allowed to say, ‘Fuck it’ and just leave the city to go see your wife you know. I mean if I was you, I would book a first-class ticket to Harbour City right now and screw the consequences. You have great people who work for you and they can take up the slack. You did train them.”
Asami couldn’t argue with that. “I so hate it when you’re right.”
“No, you don’t. You love me!!!”
“Yeah, I guess I do. Thanks for the pep talk. I’ll book right now and I’ll send some emails to my team while I wait for the flight. Thanks, Ope. See you in a week.”
With that Opal and Asami hung up and Asami opened a travel site on her computer. It took about fifteen minutes to get her flight and car booked. The flight was leaving in three hours. Plenty of time to get everything done.
___
Four hours later and in the air above the Mo Ce Sea, Asami was very glad for the tasty food she was being served by the cabin crew. She hadn’t eaten anything since the bagel she had before she left for the office. She could hear Korra in her head saying that she shouldn’t skip meals. Asami smiled to herself and began to read the in-flight magazine. She blushed because it was the newest edition of “Life in RC” and she was on the cover. The story was about the new 3D printing machines that Future Industries had designed for home use. Asami continued to peruse the magazine until the aircraft's captain came on the speakers.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our descent into Harbour City. We are encountering some turbulent weather so it might get a bit bumpy. We should be on the ground and at the terminal in a little under thirty minutes.”
Asami put the magazine back into its proper place and tightened her seatbelt. Although the landing was a little choppy, she was relieved and grabbed her carry-on luggage from the overhead bin. After thanking the crew, she stepped out of the aircraft and headed directly to the car rental place. Asami knew that winters in the Southern Water Tribe could be wicked so a top-of-the-line Satomobile vehicle with all the bells and whistles was what she had booked. As she got to the counter, the attendant was smiling. He began, “Hi, I’m Kasen. Are you here to pick up a vehicle?”
“Nice to meet you Kasen and yes, I’m here to pick up the SUV I booked.”
“Name?”
“Asami Sato. I booked a new Scorpion XL this morning online.”
“Yes, ma’am. I see the reservation right here. I’m glad you picked this vehicle because the weather yesterday was pretty horrendous. There were whiteout conditions in the town; subsequently, the roads were impassable. With this machine, you will have no problems on the roads today. May I please see your driver’s licence and credit card.”
Asami handed over what was asked for and was relieved that she wasn’t recognized this far south. Once the transaction was complete, she walked out the front of the terminal and strode over to her ride. She was very thankful for the heated seats and heated steering wheel.
As she drove through Harbour City along the waterfront she was amazed by the large chunks of ice washing up on the beach. I guess it really was one helluva storm.
The trip to the Chief’s palace took about forty minutes and when she arrived, she was met at the door by the security staff. Asami was escorted to the front door of the Chief’s living area. She knocked.
She heard “Coming” from behind the door. It was Korra’s voice. Asami’s pulse began to race as she waited. She was almost frantic. The door was flung open and there stood the Avatar in all her glory. Korra’s brow furrowed for a second and then a 1000-watt smile burst from her lips.
“Asami!! What are you doing here? I mean I love that you’re here but why.”
Asami’s voice came out as a squeak. She pleaded, “I needed to see you. I needed to hug you. I needed to kiss you.” The CEO’s eyes filled with tears.
Korra lifted her hand and wiped the droplets away from her wife’s cheek. Asami leaned in, embraced Korra and kissed her fiercely. The relief she felt was almost overwhelming. The couple's weeklong vacation brought them both the comfort and support they each needed.
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The Essence of Blue Lock
A Thesis on Blue Lock’s Standing in the Sports Genre
I just want to say that Blue Lock isn't anywhere near close to being done. It is only getting started. The Blue Lock battle royale may have been the beginning, but we still have a long way to go. We still need to get to Worlds. In the beginning, Blue Lock makes a seemingly ridiculous and insulting ideology: you need to have a big ego to be the best. The story isn’t that simple, obvious, or single-dimensional, though.
It is true that every Blue Lock player must surpass and outclass the rest to be number one. The key point that everyone misses, however, is that Blue Lock actually forces its players to adopt a champion mindset. The point of the champion mindset isn't to think you are better than everyone else (i.e., in Blue Lock, every player is constantly reminded that there is someone better them); the point is to focus on and make conscious the systems you rely on and continually improve them in order to be better today than you were yesterday. This is the key to becoming number one. The reality is that there will always be players who are better than you, but if you cannot focus on your own improvement and you lack the drive to get better, then you don't deserve to be number one. By recognizing this, taking initiative, and using your peers as a metric to gauge how much you’ve improved, you're on the right track to becoming a champion. That, my friends, is ego. This, in my opinion, is the essence of Blue Lock.
Though Blue Lock -in its early stages- may not accurately represent football at its best, Blue Lock certainly represents SPORTS at its best. The reason why people love, and play sports is because sports show us the epitome of humanity’s effort to transcend our limitations and develop new capacity in real-time and in a simplified, focused context. Put simply, sports illustrate humanity at its best. We are winning when we are bettering ourselves; hence, the champion mindset is realized and best depicted through Blue Lock's storytelling. This is the "football's most critical moment" spiel that Ego was trying to impart to his players. Isagi is a likeable main character because he is respectable and admirable for adopting the champion mindset. He is an exemplar of humanity being at its best.
For these reasons alone, Blue Lock should surpass Haikyuu because it gets down and dirty with some of the most intimate aspects of sport, which is human greed. Unfortunately, most people are just blind, horny, or both. All I can say is that the future is uncertain in terms of Blue Lock’s chart-topping ability. I won’t delve into this.
Also, for anyone who says that Blue Lock completely defies one of the primary virtues of football (teamwork): you may be correct, but you are also missing the point of the story. Teamwork is inevitable and it's constantly shown throughout the manga. What is unique about Blue Lock is this thesis that individual greed and hunger actually catalyzes the formation of teams. One's selfishness fuels the fire needed to power a team sport. You can't expect to form a team if everything is fine and dandy, where players are equally strong or equally capable. Why would you? If everyone were good at everything, if no one struggled, then there would be no problem to solve that requires the contribution of multiple minds. If teamwork is the virtue that football prides itself upon, then what comprises teamwork? Well, we first need to ask: what is the purpose of teamwork?
If you asked me, it is to actively pursue the realization of one’s own strengths and combine these with the strengths of others who have also actively pursued their own realizations in order to achieve a common goal.
Have you ever struggled on a homework problem and had to ask others for help? Have you ever witnessed victory in a war without an army? Teams don't form if there is no struggle, no problem. If everyone’s ego were well-fed, then there really would be no struggle. We all know that this can never be the case; therefore, the source of struggle is in the need to satisfy one's ego. Without the ravenous individual ego, there will be no team. Competition also results from the need to satisfy one's ego. When you clash two different egos together, the natural hunger and selfish desire to be better than your opponents will not originate from outside the individual; it comes from within. The desire to “level up” or “become stronger” is the unconscious acknowledgement of the discomfort you feel when knowing that you are inadequate. Thus, to be less inadequate: you feel the need to surpass those who have proven they are capable, hence minimizing your initial discomfort. Yet, the difference between a champion and a loser is settled by how one internalizes and deals with their discomfort. Again, here comes our champion who seeks their own development through rigorous self-reflexive analysis and uses their peers as a metric to gauge their growing capabilities. Here comes our champion who strives to be better than they were yesterday, to develop the systems that produce outcomes they want to improve. This champion knows that if they want a better performance, then they need better systems that provide the foundation for their performance. This mindset, however, is very tricky to handle and adopt, though. Some people can easily get caught up in wanting to destroy others around them, which is the wrong way to go about doing things; you will only set yourself up for severe disappointment when embarking on that path. The point is: there's a fine line in the sand that tells you whether you're focused on yourself or on others.
Now, let's say you have a bunch of egos smashed into one team and now two teams are pitted against each other. What happens then? Would the champion still outshine everyone? Would the team with the champion win? See, that's where things get interesting, and the beauty of Blue Lock really starts to shine. Everyone should act like a champion. The winning team will be the team that can address and support each champion's strengths and weaknesses. In other words, the synergy and mutual respect/understanding for each champion's ambitions will most likely result in a culmination of egos that can be observed as one entity. It's similar to constructive interference, which is a description of particle/wave behavior. Every wave has an amplitude; thus, when two waves that are in phase with each other combine their different amplitudes, you observe a single wave that has a much larger resulting amplitude. The opposite could be said of destructive interference. Thus, the winning team, among a sea of champions, will be the team that exhibits constructive interference. This is a phenomenon that pro-league teams exhibit at the World Cup, and we have been leading up to this point in Blue Lock throughout the manga. This is the whole purpose of Blue Lock and the hidden meaning or implication behind Ego's brief speeches.
With all that being said, Blue Lock is a gem for conveying so much wisdom within a short amount of time.
Lastly, ISAGI #1.
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Any Title Would Sound Like a Prince Song
Nami...thank you for incidentally making my favorite little gag moment in the arc so on point for today. I'll admit I have incorporated the fearsome Future Kick into my repertoire and use it on my boyfriend. A flower made of jewels would really solve my entire conundrum here. Bonney & Kiku. It didn't take me long to point out how well Jewelry Bonney could pick up the thread Kiku weaves through Wano. I literally did when she popped out of the water bubble.
Now that she's been properly utilized, it's time to evaluate. Yesterday's chapter review touched on this. Unlike the mirror opposite dynamic with Yamato, Bonney just tracks more and more with Kiku's odd role in this story. But there's still a couple of nagging questions. Let's take a day to take stock:
So first of all it's worth a refresher. We were already looking at the fact Kiku has a lot of untapped potential and the right background for a Quartermaster before Wano ended. Which it did, but not without playing heavily into the core aspects of how that would work and leaving Kiku conspicuously open-ended. Egghead didn't take long to set up a couple of things that could still leave that door open, and through that lens her story could be seen as being "kept warm" by elements consistently floating around. A theory at least somewhat bolstered by the Academy spinoff blatantly setting up the same shell game with Kiku & Yamato. A type of twist that works well with the classy, unassuming lady.
Enter Bonney. I had reservations but always thought she fit the bill for someone who could sensibly take that torch. Problem was, she was on the backburner for much of Egghead. An arc now about as long as Punk Hazard. Now that she's back in the limelight she actually is getting the right kind of build for that same role. Not to mention Ginny fitting it to a T. Like I said yesterday, it works for Kiku as the imposing but sweet big sister. A wifey vibe almost. Bonney is more the sharp-tongued, bossy little sister. These both just...work on this fundamental character design level. It's that idea you need to fit a role on the crew but also in an anime ensemble. Both have some "special" markers and both are fairly popular faces with solid stories already. Stories that have good prior hooks to justify a late addition.
Tale of Two Hannya, point with Kiku & Yamato is that Wano is almost a kind of jidaigeki double feature. When a core theme seems to be what we want to do vs. what we feel like we have to do...you gotta wonder about our author doing the same thing. The two split Luffy's story, mirror opposites, why would you ever focus on flashy but flawed here for half the arc over humble with hidden depths always at the edge of the limelight? Now...we're moving on to a sci-fi B movie with something different for Bonney. She's the same thing. Could fill the same role. Can't fault her for being a hothead here because it's not unlike Kanjuro and we've seen Bonney be the level head.
If you ask me, what will be the most telling is what happens when we get back. Are we jumping into the same scene? Bonney could collect herself and show a superhuman amount of composure made all the more compelling by knowing how young she is. Last arc the Supernova buddies took down Big Mom. Bonney could believably show out, girl threw a nasty kick at Luffy and tanked one from the Frontier Dome. If Egghead pulls it again and does something weird with our return to the main story? Then you gotta go back to asking who threads the needle on these vignettes we've jumped through.
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BOOK REVIEW
THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A FUCK
-by Mark Manson
Hello everyone, myself Aadesh Khande, today I would love to talk about the book that changed the way I think and live this world over the course of only 2 months.
I got this book online after reading many recommendations as to why this book is so helpful and all. The title of the book was catchy too.
So let's start:
1: Happiness is the byproduct of solving our daily problems with ways either creatively or by working hard. It is never a constant state of emotion with human beings, no one is always happy, in today's world our actions and thoughts and purely dependent of how we feel rather than what we actually need to do. Happiness plays a big role in that as someone would think that happiness leads to other positive emotions but to find happiness in the first place we have to work hard to achieve that level of emotion.
2: Responsibilities are one of the biggest motivators or demotivators in our life. Suppose a person always blames his bad life decisions to the environment or people around him he will never be happy with the state he is in because this time taking responsibility to change his "own life" is a great demotivating factor which doesn't aligns with his ego hence making him seek validation and approval of others. So if we take responsibility to everything that happens to us or even what our thoughts would be after a catastrophic event should be in our own hands. Yes, seeking validation from others might ease the pain you're feeling for short time but it really creates a shallow hole in your personality.
3: Failure are the most painful yet the most memorable moments of our life which teaches us just how much effort we lacked and to never make the same mistakes again. In this book Mark smartly points out that failure and suffering are corelated as failure inevitably makes us rethink our effort practices and to improve them. Whereas the suffering part is the most joyous as the suffering that we are in now in present moment to achieve something is the same we would laugh about in coming years because, we know that, what type of person we are is shaped by the intensity of suffering we went through in order to achieve it. So don't be afraid of failure and strive to suffer as much as possible because it is better to enter the battlefield and fight rather than sit outside and think about it.
4: Uncertainty: This was the most eye-opening piece of knowledge I've ever came across as this was something that we tend to look over our daily lives. As evolution, humans tend to predict the future situations based on relating it with our past. Mark says that all the values and metrics by which we measure our standards should always be open-minded and we should consciously think about what we should trust and what not. If you are afraid to go to the stage to perform it is your brain telling you to slip back into comfort zone by telling you that "stage isn't meant for me", that's the exact problem with people, they are certain about what's going to happen to them in near future which is entirely not true. Just trying the thing you fear once will not only satisfy you but it will also bring a sense of accomplishment. So the only thing you should be certain of in this life is that nothing is permanent and you are inevitably going to die.
5:Learning to say no is probably the most triggering thing any human can do is today's so called "connected world" because not aligning your values with other people is inhumanly and immoral. The big part of this problem might have to deal with the way our politics is shaped but in our day-to-day life we can't go on without just agreeing on with people without giving it a single ounce of thought as to "why did I just agree with that guy". I think the main reason for this type of behaviour is due to our underlying need of seeking validity from others and "trying to fit in" where you know your opinions aren't valued nor is your time then it may be a good idea to stand up for yourself and save yourself from all the drama by just saying to the other person's request/opinion/advice. We have only one mouth but two ears so be careful about what you're hearing and try to say no more often(Saying no to opportunities is not an ideal case as it is going to shift you away from your discomforts).
So that's it, if I had to summarise what I just blabbered about then:
1: Try solving problems(life based)
2:Take responsibility for what is happening in your life.
3: Embrace failure and suffering.
4: Be uncertain about everything and try to do what you fear the most.
5: Learn to say no.
#self help#self improvement#better#life improvement#mental peace#bookstagram#book review#book#beauty
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TOPIC 1: MULTICULTURAL AND GLOBAL LITERACY
Activity Title: Exploring Multicultural and Global Literacy Through Personal Reflection
1. PERSONAL REFLECTION
How do you define multicultural literacy and global literacy in your own words?
-Multicultural literacy is the ability to understand, appreciate, and engage with diverse cultures. It is about understanding the unique values, beliefs, customs, and traditions within the society. It's about recognizing and respecting it's uniqueness to foster understanding between different cultural groups and to have a inclusive, harmonious, and supportive community and also to address social injustices and inequality. Meanwhile, Global literacy is the ability to understand and appreciate the interconnectedness of cultures and societies around the globe. It's not just about understanding the connection of our world and how our actions impact others, it is also about developing a global mindset and becoming a responsible citizen make a positive difference in a world that's increasingly interconnected.
Can you recall a time when you interacted with someone from a different cultural background? What did you learn from that experience?
- It was the first time I've met my mother's siblings and other relatives from Cotabato and they are Ilonggos. When I met them I'm kinda confused as I don't have any idea what they are talking. And so, by talking with them though there is a language barrier we manage to understand each other. I've learned something, there is really difference such as how they called the dog, in bisaya we called it "iro" but in Ilonggo they called it "idu/edu", and clothes are called "bayo". Discovering and learning something new is really fun and it really amazes me. Uniqueness is not a hindrance rather it's an opportunity and something that we should embrace.
How do you think these literacies are important in today's interconnected world?
-Both multicultural literacy and global literacy are crucial for individuals and societies to thrive in today's interconnected world for various reason. Multicultural literacy is essential for tackling complex global issues such as climate change and poverty; it helps us to build bridges across cultural divides. While, global literacy is important for effective communication, collaboration, and problem-solving on a global scale. Global literacy help us understand the interconnectedness and the need for international cooperation to address them effectively. To sum up, multicultural literacy and global literacy are not just about knowledge, they are about developing the skills, attitudes, and values needed to navigate a diverse and interconnected world. They are essential for building a more just, equitable, and sustainable future for all.
2. Short Article Reading:
Global Citizenship: The Whole World is My Country by Todd M. Johnson, Ph. D. - Co-director- Center for the Study of Global Christianity
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2210656116300496#:~:text=Investigating%20the%20sources%20of%20teacher,level%20study%20using%20TALIS%202018&text=This%20study%20aimed%20to%20investigate,examining%20teacher%20intercultural%20self%2Defficacy.
3. INDIVIDUAL RESPONSE
How does the article relate to your personal definition of multicultural and global literacy?
- The article corroborates my understanding of both multicultural and global literacy by emphasizing the interconnectedness of all people and the importance of seeing ourselves as a part of a global community. It aligns with my definition of global literacy by highlighting the need to understand global issues, appreciate cultural diversity, and take action to address challenges that affect everyone. The article also touches on multicultural literacy by emphasizing the need to understand and respect diverse cultures and perspectives within our societies. It underscores the idea that we cannot truly understand the world without understanding the richness and complexity of different cultures.
What key takeaway did you learn from reading that you didn't know before?
- The most important key takeaway for me was the idea that "the whole world is my country". The phrase encourages us to change our perspective from a narrow to a broader, global one. It challenges us to recognize that our lives and actions are interconnected with people across the globe, regardless of national borders. As the quote says " We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly" (Letter from a Birmingham Jail), this was quoted in the article and it says that our actions, no matter how small, have ripple effects that reach far beyond ourselves. It reminds us that we are all interconnected and that our actions have consequences for others directly and indirectly.
What can you do to improve your own multicultural and global literacy in your daily life?
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ALL STAR ANIMAL TRAPPING
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ALL STAR ANIMAL TRAPPING
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Attempting to remove a wild animal on your own is dangerous (and illegal unless you have a license to trap animals), which is why we’ll ensure to provide you with the best Los Angeles animal trapping services available. Your safety should come first, so it’s a wise decision to give us a call before attempting your own rat trapping, dead animal removal, or snake trapping. You’ll be happy to avoid any potential harm or illnesses that a wild animal can cause.
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Wildlife Removal Glendale CA
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