#we have a whole routine every few days where i help him with his problem areas in most of his joints | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

megalony · 1 year ago

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Is It Bad?

This is an Eddie Diaz imagine requested by Anon, I really enjoyed writing this one I hope everyone likes it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefanthefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn @noonenuts @sleepylunarwolf @coverupps @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway

Masterlist

Summary: Chris has a bad day when he can't keep his routines, but things get worse when he and (Y/n) get in a car crash and the 118 don't know Eddie has a family.

Enjoy.

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"Mummy…"

Turning her head, (Y/n) looked back over at Christopher but the smile on her face started to fade when she saw the frown setting into his brows and the slight slope of his lips.

"What's wrong baby?" She turned the trolley round and slowly headed over to him.

Instead of answering, Chris reached out and patted his hand against the bare shelf on his left and with each tap, his effort got stronger until he was slamming his fingers down on the shelf and making a thudding noise that echoed through the shop. (Y/n) let go of the trolley and kneeled down in front of him to see what the problem was but she sucked in a deep breath when she realised what was missing from the shelf.

Cookies.

Pushing up, (Y/n) bounced on her heels and scanned the rest of the shelves in case they had been moved higher up and Chris simply couldn't find the brand he wanted. He liked the thin baked cookies with animal shapes baked into the underside and chocolate on top. They came in a dark purple packet that was hard to miss.

They always bought three packets every Friday to last him the week, he took a few in his pack up to school and always demolished a full pack on a Friday night when they watched Thomas the Tank Engine movie. The same movie every Friday, the same snacks and the same pyjamas and blanket.

"Excuse me, do you know where the animal snaps are?"

The elderly lady in front of (Y/n) leaned back to see where she was pointing before she clicked her tongue and shook her head.

"Sorry, we don't sell those anymore."

"Fuck,"

(Y/n) bit her tongue and turned back round to Chris. How could they not make those anymore? They were specific, they were this store's home brand cookies, that was the whole reason they did their weekly shop at this store every Friday, without fail. Come rain or shine, (Y/n) and Chris were here after he finished school and those cookies were always in the trolley.

"Uh, we'll get some other ones for now and I'll Google and see if anywhere else sells them and we can go somewhere else." She didn't even manage to get her phone out her pocket before Chris shook his head.

He slipped his arms out of his crutches, let them drop to the floor and then flopped down until he was sat on the polished floor with his head against the shelf and his arms around his chest.

Oh dear.

It wasn't as if (Y/n) could buy similar cookies and replace the packaging with the brand Chris was used to. He would taste the difference, he had a specific pallet like (Y/n) did, they could both tell when they didn't have sugar in their coke or when the crisps were the cheap brand or not the specific store brand they were used to.

Chris was a stickler for routine, it kept him content and relaxed, they helped shape and control his life. Fridays were for shopping and cookies and the same movie that he could watch five times over and not be bored of.

He didn't want different cookies or a different snack for a Friday night. He didn't want a similar brand that looked different and tasted tangy with bittersweet chocolate.

"Baby, let's finish the shopping and we can look across town for them," (Y/n) went down on her knees in front of him and reached out to him but she knew they weren't going to get finished here.

"Home."

"Now baby-"

"Home. Home. Home!" Chris reached out for whatever was on the shelf next to him and grabbed a bag of flour from the bottom shelf. It was a bit heavy for him but he moved quicker than (Y/n) anticipated and managed to throw it between his legs and bash his hands down on it like he was playing the drums. A gust of flour spread through the air around them and a powder of white settled down on (Y/n)'s face until she had to close her eyes and cough to get a clear breath.

The flour settled on Chris's glasses and covered his hands before he felt (Y/n) hoist him up by his underarms and lift him from the floor.

She juggled Chris in her left arm despite how heavy he was starting to get, and grabbed both crutches with her free hand and moved back to the trolley. It was usually Eddie who would carry Chris in and out of the car and pick him up if he got upset or had a meltdown. Despite the meltdowns Chris would have, he always stopped immediately if he was comforted, a cuddle or being carried always stopped him.

Especially if it was Eddie holding him.

"Okay baby, we'll go home."

(Y/n) sat him on the trolley handlebar, shoved his crutches in the trolley and whispered a quiet 'sorry' to the lady who was already smiling and shaking her head politely.

He left his legs swinging between them but kept his arms tightly bound around (Y/n)'s neck and his face buried in her chest so she had to lean over the trolley while she pushed it towards the checkout. They barely had half the things on their list. She would have to come back tomorrow and see if Eddie's Abuela would have Chris for an hour. If the shopping wasn't done on a Friday, Chris wouldn't go unless it was to the toy shop.

Her back started to burn and ache when they reached the checkout and Chris still wouldn't let go of her. (Y/n) had to carry him on her hip as long as she could while leaning in the trolley and putting the items on the checkout. When her back and arm started to strain, (Y/n) set Chris down on his feet and let him coil his arms around her waist instead and burrow into her side.

"Home. Is daddy home?"

(Y/n) was relieved Chris had said something a little more than home when they were back outside the car. He was sat back on the trolley, arms around her neck and his face so close to hers she had to kiss his nose to try cheer him up.

"He won't be home yet baby, but when we get back you can ring him and talk to him, how's that sound?"

"Hm." He let (Y/n) lift him him up and put him in his car seat in the back of the car but he wouldn't unwind his arms from her neck. "No, mummy, no." He started to whine in her ear until he was almost crying and his arms were shaking from how tight he was holding her against his chest.

"Christopher," Her warning tone was enough to make him let go and he let her strap him in.

His head fell against the headrest and he brought his hand up to his mouth so he could bite down on his thumb. There was no trace of his usual bright smile on his lips and he closed his eyes and burrowed into his seat.

It was going to be a long day.

***

"You all know the drill, spread out, anyone who can walk or with minimal injuries, send them to the medics. Anyone you can't free yourself, shout out. Go."

They all knew where they needed to divert to. Eddie and Hen were already getting a woman out of her car on the outskirts of the crash. Chimney was with another medic helping anyone who could freely get out of their vehicles and make their way to assistance. And Bobby was heading down with Buck towards the cars that were more damaged, wedged in the middle of the mess.

Reaching a dark red fiesta, Buck narrowed his eyes and climbed over the bonnet to reach the driver's side. The back of the car was crumpled up against the divider between the motorway and van had crashed into the passenger side and wedged it into a corner.

"Miss? Fire and rescue, can you hear me?"

Buck sucked in a deep breath when he opened the door and it fell off its hinges, crashing down to the floor. He bent down and leaned on the edge of the car but he could see immediately that the driver was unconscious.

Her hair was fanned across her face, her chin was tilted down into her chest and she was slumped to the left. Buck tried to look for injuries but the most pressing one he could see was her right leg. It was broken so badly the bone was sticking out halfway down beneath her knee.

"Mummy!"

A shiver bolted down Evan's spine and he grabbed the roof to steady himself. He hadn't thought to look in the back.

A little boy, roughly seven or eight, was sat in a car seat behind the passenger seat. He had a cut to his brow, he was trembling, his glasses were hanging around his neck on red string and he was biting his thumb like he was about to chomp through it.

"Hey there, my name's Buck I'm a fireman. Can you tell me mummy's name?"

"Mummy… I want mummy." He reached his arm out towards the driver's seat and made a fist and a grabbing motion to try and reach her but the seatbelt was strapped too tight and he couldn't get it off.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Christopher."

"Good lad, stay put and I'm gonna get you and mummy out of here, alright? Are you hurt?"

When Chris shook his head, Buck managed a smile before he leaned over the driver and reached for her bag that was still resting on the passenger seat. He could see her eyes fluttering behind her eyelids, he needed a name and address to give the hospital when they got her transferred and helped out. Someone would have to come and take Christopher when they got to hospital or they would have to call social services for him.

He found her purse quickly and rummaged around for her driver's license but when he read her name, all the blood drained down to his feet and pins and needles coursed through his legs.

Oh God.

"Cap… Cap I need assistance, badly." His hand shook around the radio, he couldn't say anything else lest Eddie heard him through the radio and got panicked. He was busy helping someone with Hen, they couldn't risk panicking him until he had sorted his patient. "Just gonna put this on your neck (Y/n)," Buck whispered quietly and grabbed a neck brace from his bag.

He carefully tilted her head back and clipped the brace around her neck to keep her head in place. He didn't know what kind of spinal or nerve injuries she might have sustained and he didn't want to give her any further pain. It was a good sign that she groaned when he moved her though, she was coming back round.

"Buck, what have you got?" Bobby knelt down near the passenger door but when he noticed the little boy in the back, he quickly moved to jam open the back door.

"Cap, it's uh… her name is (Y/n) Diaz… Eddie never said he was married."

Buck wasn't sure if he was getting the wrong assumption, she could still be Mrs Diaz and be Eddie's sister. Maybe she kept her last name when she got married. Eddie did have three sisters after all. Or she could be a cousin. Eddie never said anything about going home to a family after work, he didn't mention having a child waiting at home for him. Eddie never indulged about a family and Buck told him everything about his life.

"You must be Christopher, I'm Bobby, I work with your dad. Can I check you over and get you out of here?"

Bobby dared to glance his eyes across at Buck whose face fell and his jaw dropped. Eddie really had hid a whole other life from him- from the rest of the team. The only one Eddie told was Bobby because he had to divulge personal information when he had the job interview. He had to tell Bobby that he had a wife and son at home and if his son had a disability, in case he ever had to rush off shift and go to the hospital or take a personal phone call on shift.

"Daddy, I want daddy." Christopher's words were mumbled around his thumb that he wouldn't stop biting.

"I'll take you to your dad, don't worry. Eddie, when you get a second come over to the red Fiesta near the front pile up please."

"On my way."

Bobby reached over and wiggled the seat buckle hard enough to wrench it free and let Chris breathe better. He had a small cut on his chest from where it had pinned into his skin and glued him to his seat. There was a cut on his head and he pointed down to his foot but when Bobby checked, it wasn't broken or fractured. Most likely sprained.

The car seat had saved him from most of the impact.

"Okay, come here." Bobby carefully picked him up and lifted him out of the car but when he turned round, he held his breath.

'Here we go.'

The medic bag in Eddie's hand dropped down to his feet and he stumbled back a pace until he felt Hen's hand on his back and her worried whispers in his ear asking what was wrong. He thought Bobby saying a red fiesta was a bit unnerving; it was the same car as (Y/n)'s.

But the moment his eyes latched onto his captain, he felt like his world had turned upside down.

He knew that mop of brown curls anywhere and those legs that were kicking and swinging like he always did when he got picked up and carried around. That was his little boy.

"Christopher? Oh God, Chris! I'm here bud I'm here!"

Eddie pulled away from Hen and weaved through the cars towards his son who started to scream. His arms started to wave and when Bobby put him down, his voice overtook the sound of the car horns and the raised voices begging for help. All Eddie could hear was his boy screaming his name and waving his arms out towards him.

"Daddy!"

"I'm here, oh bud I've got you." Tears fell down Eddie's face when his arms looped around his son and he lifted him from the floor. He couldn't breathe when Chris snapped his arms so tightly around his neck and burrowed his face into his neck.

He cupped the back of Chris's head, tangling his fingers in his curls as he kissed the side of his head repeatedly.

"Are you alright?"

"Foot hurts… mummy won't wake up. No cookies in shop, you take us home now. Daddy I wanna go home." There was too much rattling around in Chris's head and he couldn't cope. His foot was aching, his mum wouldn't answer him when he cried out for her. They didn't have cookies in the shop so tonight's movie night was now ruined. And then the car started to spin and everyone was crying.

But Eddie was here now. Eddie could take them both home and look after them.

Eddie's hand tangled tighter into Chris's curls and he got closer to the passenger side of the car and peered down. (Y/n) was crying. She was awake now and she was sobbing her heart out. Eddie had to get her out of there, he had to get them both to the hospital and look after them.

"Chris, buddy can you wait here with Bobby for me so I can get mummy out?"

Bobby nodded and held his arms out again but Chris wouldn't have it. His arms stayed tight around Eddie's neck and he started to whimper and cry. He wasn't leaving either of his parents, he was staying right where he was in Eddie's arms.

"You take us home. Now. Home-"

"Buddy I can't take you home, I have to get mummy out she's hurt."

"Home!"

Eddie tipped his head back as if to try and force the tears into the back of his head and his lips pressed into a thin line when Chris started to cry. His hands bashed down on the back of Eddie's chest and shoulders and his legs started to swing and hit out at his legs and knees so much Chris himself cried from the pain it caused in his sprained foot.

"Buddy please-"

"Home-"

"Christopher Diaz!" The moment the name passed through his lips, Chris stopped kicking out and gasped when Eddie dropped down to his knees onto the tarmac.

Huffs, sniffs and bubbling cries passed through Chris's lips but he loosened his arms around Eddie's neck and tilted his head down to burrow his face into Eddie's florescent jacket that smelled of dirt and smoke. A smell he always associated with his dad from this job he'd had for the past eight months.

"I promise, when I get mummy out and safe, I will not let either of you out of my sight. And when mummy is okay, I will take you home and we will sort everything out. I will make it better, I always do. Now you stay with Bobby, understand?"

With a lasting kiss to Chris's temple, Eddie picked him back up and let Bobby take hold of him and set him on his hip. Bobby stood off to the side so Chris could still see his parents but he wasn't close enough to see the damage or get too frightened. The little boy burrowed his head against Bobby's and started to pat his chest rhythmically to calm himself down.

Eddie wasted no time in climbing into the passenger seat but when he looked across at Buck, he could see something flare in his eyes. Maybe he should have told the team- or at least Buck, about his family.

But he didn't like mixing work and personal life and he never thought he would be on scene where his family had been in a car crash.

"Mi amor, it's me, how we doing?"

"Eddie! God, baby… where's Chris?" (Y/n) managed to open her eyes and when the tears fell down her face, she craned her eyes to the left to look at her husband. It was a Godsend to hear his voice. She had no idea who the other man next to her was, the only person on the team she had spoken to before was Bobby. But the other lad next to her seemed very concerned which was sweet.

"He's fine, Cap's got him, just a bad foot that's it." Eddie kissed her temple and reached down to hold her hand. "This is Buck, we're gonna get you out…" Eddie looked over at Buck but when he glanced down at (Y/n)'s leg, Eddie could feel bile rising in his throat.

"(Y/n), I'm going to put a strap around your thigh to restrict the bleeding, then we can get you on a stretcher and out of here, alright?"

"W-what's wrong with my leg? Baby, i-is it bad?"

(Y/n) tried to look at Eddie but she couldn't move her head due to the neck brace she had woken up with. Everything ached and burned but both of her legs felt they were on fire. What was wrong with her leg? Has she broken it or got a deep gash that was bleeding out? It didn't feel like her leg was hanging off or in bad shape.

Moving over, Eddie leaned across (Y/n) with one hand on the seat and the other moved to cup her face so he was in her line of sight. His thumb brushed over her cheek and he managed a smile before he leaned over and gently pecked her lips.

"You've broken it, mi amor but we can get it fixed up. Stay really still so Buck can strap it."

(Y/n) brought her hand up to grab Eddie's wrist and she nodded, keeping her eyes on him when she felt Buck shuffle a small plastic strap beneath her thigh. Her teeth gritted together and she gasped when he pulled it tight and popped the pin in. She had to be bleeding for them to cut off her blood supply.

"I'm gonna round the other side so we can get you out," He kissed her again before he scrambled out of the car. They had to move her now, her leg was in bad shape and Eddie could feel the car overheating. It was a trap ready to blow.

Her hand reached up to rub her temple, her head felt like it was splitting and her back was burning. She tried to push forward to relieve the pain in her back but when she heard Buck mutter no and his hands grabbed her shoulders, she looked down.

"Eddie!" His name screamed from her lips and she pushed back in the chair, moving her hands to grip her thigh like she was going to magically fix it. Another tortured scream flew past her lips before a gurgling cry errupted and she slammed her head against the headrest. "Eddie, ooh fuck, Eddie-"

Her bone was sticking out. Her trouser leg was no longer dark blue, it was a horrid shade of crimson and a sprig of bone was punctured out along with a torn piece of muscle that made (Y/n) almost throw up.

She couldn't lose her leg. Christopher needed her, she had to drive, they had their routines, their walks and their physio they did in the park to keep him up and active. She carried her boy around when he needed her, she couldn't lose her leg. If they saved it, how long would she have to be in a cast? She couldn't look after Chris if she was on crutches too or God forbid, she had to be in a wheelchair. He was going to be petrified enough after this whole ordeal.

Buck moved out the way and took Eddie's place in the passenger seat so Eddie could crouch beside his wife.

his hands moved to cup (Y/n)'s face and he took a very deep, slow breath and managed a smile to try and calm her down. He couldn't have her panicking on him now, they had to get her out.

"Mi amor, shh. You're gonna be fine, we can fix this. I'm gonna spin you round and Buck will get your legs, and we'll lift you out of here. Christopher is waiting for us, come on mi amor you got this." He kissed her head, peppered his lips across her cheek and down her jaw until she nodded in agreement with him.

"Here we go (Y/n), on three."

Buck kneeled up on the chair and leaned over, carefully holding her knees in place while Eddie twisted her round so her back was flush up against his chest. His hands slipped under her arms and he gripped her flesh comfortingly tight and nodded over at Buck.

"One, two, three."

Eddie took her weight on his chest and started shuffling back while Buck climbed over the seat, trailing his hands beneath (Y/n)'s legs to hold her ankles and elevate her legs.

The scream (Y/n) let out made Eddie tip his head back and he held his breath to try and compose himself. He felt her hands reaching back to grip his biceps and ground herself while the boys carried her to the stretcher Hen was waiting with.

"Baby d-don't go… p-please get Chris,"

"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." He smothered her temple with a kiss and held her hand until they got near the ambulance Bobby had moved over to. When they were close enough, Eddie reached his free arm out and looped it around Chris's waist and sat him on his hip. "I've got you both, you're safe. I'm here."

"Daddy," Chris wrapped his arms around Eddie's neck when they were in the ambulance and he perched on his dad's lap. He could feel his dad kissing his hair and his mum rubbing her hand up and down his leg, both of them doing their best to keep him calm and stable.

They would be okay.

#eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz imagine #eddie x reader #imagine #911 imagine #911 #911 fox #bobby nash #evan buckley

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yakii-m0chi · 2 months ago

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Inazuma Men as Fathers

decided to write a part two just because i felt like it! might go thru all the regions and characters so far!

pairings: thoma x reader, heizou x reader, kamisato ayato x reader, kazuha x reader, gorou x reader, itto x reader (gn! reader)

warnings/disclaimers: im so sorry if u have allergies to pets/don't like the animal i chose! i just thought it'd match the characters well | heizou names your pet (ish?) | slight angst warning (kazuha)

🍭 thoma

thoma was walking around town, helping out here and there as he went about his day

on his way back to the kamisato estate, he saw you with a stray dog, playing around together

he thought he was seeing floating hearts when he heard your laughter and baby talk when the dog flopped over

thoma was convinced then and there that you had to have that dog

when he made dinner, he wanted to ask you about it without being too suspicious

how was your day, sunshine? did you do anything fun today?

i did! there was this cute dog, and i swear it was the most adorable and serotonin-filled thing in the entire world! i'm going to go buy some food and spend the whole day with him tomorrow

how fun! i'm sure that you made that puppy's day.

and soon, he was going to make your day

two days later, thoma was outside your room, the stray dog in hand

he had spent the entire night cleaning him, feeding him, and trimming its mangled fur and claws. it wasn't perfect by his standards, but his skill could be mistaken for a professional

when you opened the door, you couldn't help but squeal out of pure joy and shock as you held the puppy in your hands

thoma! how did you know?!

i saw you two a few days ago, and since you seemed infatuated with the little guy, i thought we should have him as a pet. what do you think?

i love that! thank you thoma, i love you so much!

bby was blushing so bad T-T

he'd buy you a hundred dogs at that point, just to see your reaction again and again

he knew that he would be taking care of the dog as well, but he had 0 problems in doing so. thoma was good with people and animals

somedays when you were busy with work or commissions, thoma would take the dog around town to keep him company

it's like two golden retrievers were running around town now - thoma and the doggo

everyone came to know your puppy, and they always stopped to feed him something delicious or give him some head scratches

ayato and ayaka both loved your dog too!

thoma had hand-knit an entire closet of clothing for your dog. he had mittens, hats, scarves, pants, shirts, costumes - everything. hell, thoma had even given him cute shoes too so his paws wouldn't get dirty or cold

10/10 househusband and dog dad

at some point, he had attached an omori to your dog's collar, which thoma had always joked that whenever your dog was around, good luck and fortune always came with him

oddly enough, every time you went to the shrine with your dog in tow, your fortune slips would always turn out to be very fortunate

🔍 shikanoin heizou

he was a detective, there was no way he'd get a pet with how busy and active his job was

... until he saw you with a cute little cat

it was game over at that point

he caved and ended up getting you a collar to give to the cat

but he made it clear that it was your responsibility to take care of it since he was always busy and didn't have time to care for a cat on top of the other cases he had going on

but, one day, you were really busy with something and didn't have time to take care of your cat

on his way out from your shared home, he heard your cat meowing for attention, looking at heizou expectantly

the boy caved (x2) and took your cat with him to his office, where it got cozy on his windowsill

he had to admit, watching the cat loaf while sleeping in the sunlight was oddly adorable

life got busier for you, so he ended up making it a routine to bring your cat to his office, and you'd meet him there when you finally got off work

at some point, he replaced the curtains in his office with blinds that he'd open when your cat would sit on the windowsill so he could look out at the people who passed by

he also gave your cat a nickname that stuck: watson

honey? where's the cat?

watson's alseep by the window.

'watson'?

he's not just 'cat' now. he's watson

one time when your cat did something especially naughty, heizou made wanted posters of your cat and hung them around the tenryou commission's offices

it was because he had knocked over heizou's juice and it spilled on his paper, then in its shock at the loud noise, the cat had jumped off and accidentally smashed the mug too

as of today, your cat has a 40,000 mora reward on the poster

💧 kamisato ayato

do you really expect kamisato ayato of all people to have the time to take care of your new pet?

... yes. yes he would.

you are so lucky this man is absolutely whipped for you, but you better choose a pet that's easy and lower maintenance

so what did you choose?

a fish.

no, you're not dyslexic, dear reader (unless you are, then my bad). you brought him a little fish.

thoma and you were fishing, and you had caught a small little fish that looked too cute to let go

luckily, thoma had brought along a small container which was big enough for the fish until he went out into town and got you an actual fishbowl for it

so, you excitedly brought it to ayato, who had... a very clear stance on this animal

love... is... this what you were excited to show me?

yeah! look, isn't it cute?

... i don't think 'cute' would be the word i would use to describe it. do you even have a way to sustain that thing so it lives?

i was going to raise it in this tank until i can move it to the pond outside

...

yeah... he wasn't super impressed at first

but it seemed to keep you, ayaka, and thoma entertained, so it was a plus since he had more time to work without being interrupted

you had placed it strategically in a spot where ayato would have to see it before he would move along with his day

eventually, something in him wanted to try his hand at feeding it but he wasn't sure if you had already done so

so he asked you over dinner

darling?

yes, ayato?

... how often do you feed your... fish?

[feeding schedule]. why?

ah, i see. i can feed your fish in the evening. that way you don't have to hurry back.

you will?!

i suppose i can spare a minute or two for it.

when the time came to move your fish into the pond, he did kind of miss having the fish conveniently nearby

more or less, kamisato ayato became fond of your little fish friend

🍁 kaedahara kazuha

pets?! boy sign this man up

we all know he is such a sweet and soft boy

there's no way he'd turn you down

so when you came back with a white cat, you best believe he was gonna take care of it with you to the best of his abilities

also... the cat unironically reminded him of his friend :(

you best believe that both you and your cat will get absolute royalty treatment

in fact, he has a surprise for you about a year in

my love?

yes darling?

your cat was clinging onto your arm, seemingly lazing around

i have something to surprise you with.

oh really? what is it?

here.

IT WAS ANOTHER CATTTTT!!! ANOTHER BABY CAT!!!

kazuha?! another cat?

i figured that our little one would get bored so... i found it a friend.

bless this man's heart- he's such a sweetheart

now you have two cats - a boy and a girl

he did his very best and was able to bond the two of them within a few weeks

now you both had two cats to go with you on your travels around teyvat

they were so easy to travel with, and they were extremely calm

probably because they knew that their papa would always protecc them :)

a lot of times, kazuha could be found napping with the small furballs on a sunny rock in the afternoon

oh my GODDDD kazuha and your cats are absolutely the cutest

HE ALSO GIVES THEM LEAF HATS. YOU CANNOT TELL ME HE DOESN'T BECAUSE HE TOTALLY WOULD.

🐾 gorou

the most timid of the bunch

he'd probably get nervous no matter what pet you give him

bro probably goes through 100+ books a day to try and learn everything he can about the animals so he can provide the most optimal care for it

it was a dog.

and yet here gorou was, stressing over it

Y/N? do you think this is enough dog food for her?

yes, gorou, why are you so worried?

w-well... this book said we need 5 servings, but then the other one said 2 servings...

so how many did you give her?

... 3 and a half servings?

that's fine then, gorou. it's not like we can't feed her more.

yeah...

he's a general, of course he'd be worried over your lil furbaby :(

this poor man already has a ton on his plate, but he wants to make sure that your pup is well-fed

since gorou is a dog, your dog got along really well with him

she actually licks him a lot to try and groom him, especially his tail and ears

this poor man... he now takes extra good care of his hair and tail when he showers and cleans himself because he doesn't want your dog to get sick

he also got your pup a small set of armor so he felt a little more at ease

your pup was becoming more and more of a guard dog every single day hehe

one time you came home to your dog and him cuddling in bed together, and it was super CUTE because of the fact that both of their tails were moving in sync

he does get less stressed over time, but he still gets worried about your dog at times

please reassure him that your dog will be okay and won't die from a gust of wind. please.

🪲 Aratakki Numero-Uno Itto

you see your pet?

that ain't your pet no more.

that's the GANG's pet

poor shinobu LOL i just KNOW she's gonna be stressed more

you and shinobu are the only two sensible people in the aratakki gang

one day when you were exploring, you saw a small weasel who got captured by some treasure hoarders

it was malnourished and super sickly looking, and you immediately brought it home

but when you were cleaning it and making sure it was bandaged, itto bursted in

hellooooooooo baby beetle!!!!

shh! itto!

huh? what's wrong? something the matter?

itto walked over to where you were, seeing you in the bathroom taking care of the small weasel

huh? what is that furry slinky-noodle thing?

it's a weasel, i found him inside a cage.

oh... poor little dude.

itto gently patted the weasel on the head.

don't worry little guy, you're in good hands with my baby beetle. they'll take good care of you.

yeah... there's a reason why he said that your weasel would be safe with you and not with him

he liked to take the weasel out with him and the gang, and sometimes it overstimulated the poor thing to the point where it seemed to go limp from exhaustion

you and shinobu usually had to take the weasel away from itto and his gang and scold them

at some point (1 year of having your weasel), itto had finally understood when the weasel would get tired, so he'd sometimes just leave the weasel entirely with you before going out with his friends

although, whenever he was at home, your weasel enjoyed hanging around him since it wasn't too overwhelming and the little dude could hide whenever he's too tired

itto is a great dad and super attentive, but sometimes he needs to know when enough's enough :)

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xan-izme · 2 years ago

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Platonic! slightYandere Miguel x teen reader

(Was literally watching the movie while making this)

Okay, lets run this one last time.

My name is Y/n L/n, I got bit by a radioactive spider. And for the past two years I have been the one and only friendly neighborhood Spider-woman. You probably know the rest.

Beat a few bad guys, got hit by a few cars- don't ask. Go through my daily routine, take care of my family. Saved my brother. I . . . couldn't save my best friend, Miles Morals.

Beat up more bad guys. Me and Miles kind of, stopped being friends. Yeah, things kind of went downhill for me. One day, I was just doing my usual save the city thing. When some portal sucked me in!

I back home, but it wasn't my home. Fast forward, I was in a universe where Miles is the Spidey, me and other Spiders help him save the multiverse and we get back home.

But a year after I got back home. A villain showed up, one I couldn't defeat. My pops died saving me. My whole family found out about me being spider-woman.

After that I had to leave them. It was for their own safety. Mine as well

And I guess that is how I ended up in the Spider society.

-You were recruited into the Spider society by Jessica Drew. You were still hung up about your father and leaving the rest of your family. So, you stayed silent. Stuck with Jessica most of the time.

-When you and Meguel first met, there was a little tension between the two of you.

-But the more you stuck around. The more you and Meguel got close with each other, you two didn't have a chatty relationship. Just silent. No words were needed with you two.

-Miguel had strong feelings to keep you close. You were so broken. Your canon was to lose your brother, making you feel the need to protect the people. Your father's death was to make you stronger. Of course, it was to take time. Meguel never saw your progress of healing, but he sees you almost every day. And every time, your face is battered up.

-You do certain things to cope with your father's death, things kid's your age should be doing. So, when Meguel found out (#lyla a snitch) he was pissed.

You were sitting in the lounge, laying on the couch as Jessica was giving you a report on how your family was doing. Suddenly, Miguel came marching in the room, your small stash bag in hand.

"Miguel?" You spoke up. When you noticed your stash bag, you quickly got out your couch and followed him.

"Yo, Miguel. That's my bag!" You were speed walking at this point. Miguel opened the door to the bathrooms.

He opened the trash can. He looked at you with a stern expression.

"This-" he held up the bag in the air "-- Is unexpectable. You understand me!?" You stood by the doors, slowly approaching Miguel "Just put the bag down, and let me explain."

"Explain? no querio tus malditas excusa. No more."

Miguel was about to throw the bag in the trash

"No- Shit. Miguel! the fuck is your problem!"

"oop-" Lyla could be heard from behind. Meguel stayed silent. He kicked open a stall and dumped everything in the toilet.

"Oh my- No! no no no!" You ran towards the toilet, only to be held back by Meguel and pushed away.

"Look mi hija. I don't care if that, was your way to cope. I don't want to see this shit anymore. Understand?" Meguel reached out to you. But you slapped his hand away and scowled.

"Don't fucking touch me." You turned around and stormed off.

-It hurt Miguel when you refused to talk or even look at him. You were mad, but he wanted you to know that this wasn't okay. He blamed the fact that you would be with Hobbie all the damn time.

-It took a few months, but you eventually forgave him. Knowing that he was just doing what any other parent would do. You know what happened with Miguel and his daughter. You felt that the two of you had somewhat familiar wounds.

-You would stick with Miguel more often. He would be working as you were crouching down on the ground, playing with toys Jessica gave you.

-Miguel enjoyed watching you act like a baby when you played with the toys silently. He made sure to keep you close. He has been saying words of manipulation to make sure you never do anything bad like before or keep any secretes. He knows you're not going to tell him everything, but he wants to know every detail. To keep you safe.

-What makes you feel more guilty about doing anything or saying anything that could hurt Miguels feelings, is when he does practically anything you ask. Want something homemade? he'll do it. Want to go to your world or a different universe just to go to the mall or theaters? he'll let you, as long as you are assisted by either him or Jessica.

-So now if he does something you don't really agree with, you just complain a little and just wait it out. Because you feel bad if you actively go against him. After everything Miguel has done for you.

-And that is exactly how Miguel wanted things to be. For you to obey and stay out of trouble. Then Miles came to the spider society. Miguel made sure to keep you occupied with a mission back on your earth. So, he can finally deal with Miles.

-You have spoken about Miles Morales multiple times before. Both the Miles from your earth and the one from earth 1610. You clearly care for both of them. And Miguel knows how you get when people you care about are in a situation, you're not fully fond of.

-Miguel also hopped deep down, you would side with him. Hoping all of his hard work to wiggle his way into your trust will pay off.

You sighed as you slipped off your mask. You had a long day. Your earth was safe for the time being from any other anomaly. When you entered the portal. Your Spidey senses were tingling. You were quick to search around you. You were in the lounge. Shrugging, you made your way to where Miguel should be.

"Yo! I'm back." You entered the room holding some drinks for you and Miguel, and a little something for Jessica. But your eyes are met with an awkward scean.

Miles was there. Why weren't you told about this? your usually talked about incoming visitors or guest who are in already.

"Y/n!" Miles jogged to you with a smile. He was happy to see another familiar face. You chuckled as you and Miles gave each other a quick hug before your hand rested on his head.

"Hey. . . . Que haces aqui. " You looked up to scan the room once more. Miguel stared the two of you down, Gwen glanced at you before slowly avoiding eye contact.

As Miles went on and on about his little adventure here. You took his hand into yours and walked with him back towards Gwen.

"A-and I was just wondering. You know Spot. I got some ideas-"

Suddenly, Miguel threw a desk along with the empanada on the groaned towards Miles. You were unphased as it passed you, Gwen and Miles ducking down to not get hit.

"He's worried about Spot- I'll worry about Spot!" Miguel was in a burst of anger. You groan and roll your eyes. "W-what did I do?" Miles asked quickly. He was nervous, and you felt bad. This was why you didn't want Miles to be here.

"Ay, calmate, esto no es su culpa." You covered Miles with your body.

"He blew another hole in the multiverse!" Miguel shouted again.

You sighed as Gwen defended Miles. Miguel scolded Gwen about her knowing better. He moved on to Hobbie who he just got frustrated at by looking at him and ignored him. Peter B showed up.

You let the other three have their small reunion. You shot a web and swung up to where Miguel was having a stressful brake down.

"Miguel, por favor, Miles no sabe nada. Se amble con el." You put your hand on his arm. He put his own over yours and took a deep breath and fully turned towards you. You caught Mayday and held her in your arms. Miguel was visibly annoyed by Peter B as you just chuckled at how excited Peter is and proud of Mayday.

You felt a slight pain in your chest. Your mother used to do that all the time.

Things went to shit instantly. In a blink of an eye. It went from simply seeing all the canons then to Miles being surrounded by multiple spider-men.

". . . Miguel, Miles is right." That was all you had to say to break the older man's stoic expression. He gave you a look of utter confusion.

"Miles just wants to save his dad! He wants to save an innocent life. Isn't that what we do?" Miguel inhaled deeply.

"He could destroy everything! Mi hija, if you knew about your father's fate, knowing what it could do if you saved him." Miguel got into your face as you kept composer.

Your eyes glanced to Miles. Meeting his big eyes that shined with so much hope. No matter what. You know that this Miles with you at the moment was your Miles.

The Miles you failed to save, the son of the mother who you had to comfort at his funeral, the nephew of the man who hated you for killing him.

But you also know, you have the power to prevent any more pain come to him. To keep him save. And if that means going against the man that took you in, cared and even gave you fatherly love, then so be it.

"In a heartbeat."

#platonic love #miguel o'hara #platonic Miguel O'Hara x reader #slight yandere #miles morales #gwen spiderverse #miguel spiderman #death mention tw #mental health #mentally tired

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falconearring · 1 year ago

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Hello Falcon, first off LOVE you're AU and designs, their so unique. I was just curious and I don't think anyone's ever asked this but.. What did everyone do before the Apocalypse? Aside from Scar which you already answered. :)

Hi hi! So happy to hear you're enjoying! I think here and there I've mentioned bits and pieces of some character's pre-apocalypse lives, but never all at once. Here's a comprehensive list of everybody's prior occupations, with some supplementary info for the characters that I've thought about the most.

Etho worked on an industrial farm. He was mainly tasked with planting and harvesting vegetables, and other miscellaneous labor tasks. When he wasn't working, he spent much of his time with Cleo and Bdubs. He's notorious for leaving his flip phone on the kitchen counter in his apartment when he goes out for the day, so it can be a bit difficult to get a hold of him. In general, he's pretty content with his life, and enjoys the routine his job offers.

Joel sort of just goes through the motions. He works a number of minimum wage jobs during his adult years, and doesn't really do much else. It isn't until the apocalypse, when he starts to meet new people and he realizes being lonely sucked. If you ask him, though, he's never felt lonely in his entire life-that would just be silly.

Grian spends his late childhood learning how to cook in a local restaurant. The owner and staff look after him best they can, but despite their hospitality, he resolves one day to grab as much cash as possible and head to a seaside town to start his early adult life. There he finds a small funeral home, and lands an apprenticeship only because they could really use the help and the owner themselves isn’t particularly concerned if they have to cut corners. It isn’t long before his inexperience starts to cause problems, and he takes off yet again when it comes to light the name he had been going by was stolen from an obituary a few cities over. He continues as he was, from place to place and name to name. It’s become somewhat routine for him to cheat every person he comes into contact with, in some way shape or form.

Scar, as we discussed in this post, has an extensive criminal history. Him and Grian somewhat deserve each other in that regard.

Cleo does a lot of crafting in their free time. I don't think I ever decided what she does for work, but on the side she does jewelry making, pottery, crotchet and a bit of sewing. She often sells some of what she makes, or gifts it to friends.

Bdubs does a trades program and is just starting out doing construction work. He takes up drawing as a hobby, mainly life drawing. His two best friends are his whole entire world, baby! He somewhat struggles with his independence, and usually wants to spend his time with Etho and Cleo.

Martyn is a hypnotherapist who specializes in past and future life progressions/regressions. He also claims to be a surgeon, but it's unclear what kind or when exactly he got a PhD.

Bigb was a racecar driver. Later in his career, he switched from cars to offroad motorcycle racing. He fell in love with modifying bikes and became a really knowledgeable mechanic.

Tango was a paramedic. Not much time for anything, but when he can he usually would meet up with some of his buddies to play board games.

Ren worked at the saw mill where Etho's friends are set up. At the time, he was living in a cabin in the woods not far from his work. He was somewhat of a hermit, and he has all sorts of woodsy knowledge and equipment at the ready.

Impulse has a bachelors of engineering and worked as an electrician for a few years. Loved his job, loved having to take out all his piercings most days a lot less. He's always been very close with his brother, Skizz, and they meet up often.

Skizz worked a 9-5 office job, and genuinely could not be any happier about it. He's the type of person to make extra time to exercise, or wake up early just to have some quiet time.

Pearl was an art student on exchange from Australia. She has a passion for installation pieces and painting. Some of her work is a bit strange.

Mumbo was a programmer. What did he program? I don't know. I'm sorry Mumbo fans. If it's any consolation he is so disoriented and so scared and so stressed.

Jimmy lived on a small farm with his family. It was all he knew growing up, and it was all he really knew going into adulthood.

Lizzie had a part time job at an aquarium in her town. She gave tours and sometimes did workshops with the kids where she did aquatic themed arts and crafts.

Scott.... I have a hard time imagining what he was up to before everything happened. Who can say for sure what he did in his spare time? (<- the guy who is writing the AU and can't think of an answer)

Hopefully this is helpful! Sorry some of it is more sparse than other parts. Take care, thank you for reading ^_^

#asks #falconearringzombieau

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anamoon63 · 8 months ago

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Hi guys, I am writing this in case anyone wonders why I have been kind of MIA lately. No, I haven't forgotten you, but I have had a difficult week, more than a difficult week, I have been through a real ordeal. Where or how it started it's a long story which I don't have the time or the energy to tell, so I'll just share a brief chronology of what happened during this past week.

Friday May 3 - I turned in my finished work and set out to do my sims posts, play and rest for the weekend since more work would be coming my way on Monday.

Saturday May 4 - My husband came down with the flu, I spent most of the day with him in the emergency room.

Sunday May 5 - I spent it taking care of my husband, who fortunately no longer had a fever. I barely slept two hours at night giving care and medication.

Monday 6 May - My birthday, we couldn't go out for dinner as usual, so we celebrated at home.

Tuesday, May 7 - My son comes down with the flu, too, another afternoon in the ER and sleepless night caring for him and bringing down his fever.

Wednesday, May 8 - My son starts to feel better, and begins to recover very quickly. I start working on the following translations, at the same time I take care of both my husband and my sick son, do food, laundry, order home medicines, and all kinds of small chores, including disinfecting things. It's like going back to 2020.

Thursday, May 9 - My husband no longer has a fever but does have a cough that won't go away and minor problems with his asthma.

Friday, May 10 - Mother's Day, my son was feeling fine, my husband still had a cough, and had a doctor's appointment at noon, when he returned, we celebrated at home just like on my birthday, I spent the rest of the day working, and juggling a thousand other things. In the evening my daughter started to feel sick, but still no fever.

Saturday, May 11 (yesterday) - My daughter woke up with a fever, another visit to the ER. She was prescribed flu medicine, painkillers and rest, and sent home.

And that's my odyssey so far. On top of it all, from Wednesday through Saturday we were in the middle of a heat wave with temperatures of 37ºC with real feel of up to 45ºC; at night we get a "cooler" temperature of 29ºC. So imagine a person with a fever of 38 ºC and with this heat, obviously it's not of much help.

Surprisingly, I haven't gotten sick so far, but I'm not claiming victory. I have been taking care of my family for a week, sleeping two or three hours a night, getting up at different times to check on them, or give them medicine. I don't have time for getting sick! Lol. Thankfully, everyone is better and last night for the first time in a week I was able to sleep straight through. Honestly, I don't need many hours of sleep, but I am routinely and usually I am in bed a 11 pm and up at 8 am every day, so all this did upset my sleep cycle a little bit.

Anyway, that is the reason why I wasn't here much, since the whole day I was too busy, and at night I was so tired all I wanted was to go to bed. I apologize if I've fallen behind on your updates, I'm not ignoring you in any way, I just didn't have the strength or the time, not even to play The Sims. If I did, it was just a little free play to distract myself.

Last week I told you that I was juggling a lot of things, well now I have even more things, lol, at times I feel really exhausted, and even a little cranky from lack of sleep, the first few days my feet and legs hurt so much from going back and forth, but I'm fine, healthy, and in good spirits. Today I believe, as never before, that the universe does not send you more than you can handle.

At this point my family is already in recovery, if I don't get sick too, it's likely by I'll be able to get back to my simming routine. Now, if I do get sick, I hope to recover as quickly as the others. Whatever happens, I'll be around. Know that, even if I don't comment, I read you, and I am with you, especially with those who are going through difficult times of any kind.

Ok, I said to myself this was going to be a short post, but I made a wall of text instead (for a change). My apologies if it's written in a sloppy or confusing way, I just wanted to write it quickly to let you know where I have been and what has been going on with me these days. I hope you are all well, please take care of yourselves, health is a treasure that can be lost at any moment, the flu is a nasty disease, we must never let our guard down and forget to take the necessary measures to prevent it.

Last, but not least, I want to thank all of you who have mentioned me, tagged me, sent me asks and/or stars to my inbox, commented and/or liked what few posts I could do these days, I appreciate it very much and I'll try to reply to you as soon as I can, though I've fallen so far behind that I don't know if I'll be able to find your mentions in my notifications. In any case, thank you very, very much to all of you for thinking about me in my absence. 💗 I'll see you soon, hopefully, with more sim adventures, stay tuned!

#personal stuff #text post #life update #non sims #delete later

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ahiddenpath · 2 months ago

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Hidden's Life

Hi guys, I started writing a journal on my computer, as typing is a lot faster than pen and paper. I am sharing my first entry.

Content warning: It's about the "should I have a kid" debate, and it's way more political than what I usually post on my digimon blog. It gets into climate change, the financial and emotional cost of child rearing, and is leftist in tone. I am really struggling with this topic, and I welcome input and conversations. If you want to talk about it and we're pals on Discord, please do! I want to hear from as many people as possible.

The tone is bleak, but in a matter-of-fact way, if that makes sense?

So, I took a two week vacation. I was in Vegas for a few days for the first time, then in a cabin on a river. I’m not going to talk about that much here. Instead, I’m going to focus on life.

Whenever I have a few days off in a row with no plans (which is rare), I like to touch base with myself on where I am in life. I guess that’s what I’m doing here.

I will say that I’m feeling a lot more rested/restored by this vacation than I have been from my vacations over the last few years. Travel takes a ton out of me, and I’m sensitive to time zone changes and general shifts in routine. I’m surrounded by career scientists, many without children (aka people with money to travel), so it’s common to feel like I’m “missing out” or “doing it wrong” if I’m not visiting 1-3 international spots per year. It turns out that. Um. I actually really like the river cabin. Japan last year was amazing, but I came back jet lagged, exhausted, sick, and with a foot injury from power walking for 10-14 hours per day for 2 weeks. More chill domestic vacations may be the way.

But anyway, I wanted to write down my thoughts on the future.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here, so pardon me if I have, but… I’ve been dating my husband since we were 14, and we’ve been married for 11 years, together for 21. For nearly two decades, whenever I asked about children, my husband would shrug and say, “Maybe someday.” This year, for the first time, his answer changed to, “I’d like one child, but I’m not sure if it’s ethical.”

As for me, I’ve never been hit with maternal desire. In my early twenties, I assumed I’d marry my now husband, have kids, and be a stay at home parent. I’m not sure… Why I thought that? Other than that I have no career ambition, and my husband was raised by a stay at home parent. It feels a bit weird to say I lack ambition when I’m a career scientist, but it’s true. I just want to get the most money with the least effort and damage to my physical and mental health. I feel, on some level, I’ve been waiting my whole life for some kind of purpose or desire, but these days… I’m beginning to understand that wanting health and happiness is an amazing goal, and that humans aren’t necessarily meant to find fulfillment from our work. It’s okay if family is your goal! It’s okay if being a hobbit is your goal (being comfy, reading books, taking walks, etc)!

I got my first job when I was 15, I had to get my mom to sign a permission form, lol. I saved all my money and invested it as best I could, which was CDs (at the time they had like a 5% return, and as a teenager I did not really understand investing- that kinda remains true). My mom warned me from early on that she had no money to help me, and my father openly gloated about not being financially responsible for me soon. Like, he’d count down and update me every now and then- only five years until you aren’t my problem anymore, girl! Four years, three, two, one. He apparently still doesn’t understand why I went no contact with him.

I’ve never been laid off or between jobs, just. Working and preparing for a future where I was financially independent since I was 15. So again I wonder. Why??? I thought I would be a stay at home parent, lol! My husband is extremely intelligent, and he graduated straight into a programming job that pays more than I will ever make, so that might have been part of it. But when I got my new job 2 years ago, my package became competitive enough that I now actually… Have a career to lose.

What I’m trying to say here is that I feel conflicted about… everything. Why am I in this job that I don’t like, but I excel at and it pays fairly (or at least, it does since the new job two years ago)? Am I going to do this until I’m in my 60s because capitalism? Do I want a kid? Shouldn’t I know if I want a kid? But then, I can barely scrape together the brain juice to decide what I want for dinner most nights, after spending 8 hrs working and 90 min commuting. Is it any wonder I can’t bring myself to figure out if I want huge life changes or not?

Financially, my husband and I are doing well. We have a house, retirement savings, and we can afford our expenses on my husband’s salary alone. Mine is called upon for things we want, like getting a working shower in the master bathroom this year and the laundry list of smaller home improvements we paid for last year. But when you have a house, there is always more to do. Our roof is probably original to the house, which is 36. If I want our fireplace to work, that will cost at least a few grand. Our heater is too small for the house; if we want to use our finished basement more, we need to replace it with an appropriately sized one.

If I quit now, it will be difficult or impossible to do those things (and by the way, I feel like wanting a correct sized heater, a working master shower, a working fireplace, and a safe roof are not, like, super bougie??? God damn shit’s expensive). (And by the way, I'm aware that HAVING these problems is a privilege, and that is INSANE to me). If I wait too much longer, I’ll be unable to deliver a healthy baby (I’m 35). But if I’m going to have a baby, just one baby, then I want to spend time with them.

Meanwhile, there’s the ethical questions. I’ve searched online for: Is it ethical to have a child during the climate crisis? Interestingly, the hits were mostly about the impact each individual human has on emissions and climate change. Listen, sure, if you really want to be conscientious about it, don’t have more than 2 kids, which keeps your family’s population steady at the micro level. But damn, don’t be guilted out of a family, a totally normal thing, while a few corporations destroy the world for profit and tell you to have fewer babies. God damn! The mythos of the individual’s impact on climate change while companies burn fossil fuels for funsies is some high level con work, holy shit.

I’m not worried about my theoretical kid’s carbon footprint. No man, I’m worried about them having access to clean water, reliable power, food, medicine, and places to live that aren’t storm riddled, underwater, on fire, etc. Oh, and clean air. People who are sensitive to air born pollutants are already dying prematurely, and have been for years. The idea that people think climate change is something you “believe in” like fucking Santa Claus is absolute insanity to me. People are already dying, my brother in Christ.

So like, do I raise and rear this child to die early or have poor quality of life starting now, and rapidly declining? True, humans have literally always faced pressures: plague, economic strife, war, the threat of nuclear fallout, etc. We have babies anyway, partially because we don’t all have education and access to reproductive care, but also because having families is just. A totally normal desire, as is not having them! Having them does have an additional biological push behind it; organisms tend to feel reproductive pressure. It’s evolution’s super fun gift (/sarcasm)! In some ways, having kids feels almost necessary, as it makes people feel hope and desire for a better future. But there must be millions of kiddos existing now, and we’re not doing much to make the world more habitable for them on a global scale.

I want to take a moment to clarify that I am not judging anyone for having children. We should be able to have families. It’s insane that we’re facing these pressures, that so little is being done about it. But as someone who does not have any yet, I find myself grappling with these questions.

So yeah. A.) I’m not sure if I want kids, and my lifestyle does not allow much time or space for reflection. B.) I’m not sure if having children is ethical in the year of our lord 2024. C.) As much as I dislike work, I’m not sure if not working is right for me, either. It’s easy to fall into mental health issues without a structured routine. D.) I have a strong desire for financial security, and it was beaten into me from as far back as I can remember. What will the loss of my income do to my mental health? E.) While we can afford our needs on my husband’s salary, relying on one income is always precarious. Layoffs are a constant threat in tech, and injury, mental health crises, and death can come for anyone. F.) When I was in therapy, my therapist specifically advised me not to stop working and rely on my spouse’s income. I know this is good advice for women, lol! Like, truly, I do get it. My therapist knows about my drive for financial security and my strong support for women. I can say, though, that in 21 years with my husband, he’s never given me reason to doubt him. Not once.

I guess that brings me to another fear of having a kid. Obviously I’m terrified of pregnancy and childbirth, and my country has the worst maternal death rate of the developed world (like… by a long shot). I’m already unhappy with my body and my energy levels; bearing and raising a baby is not. Going. To help. But I’m also worried about the division of labor that goes into childrearing. I’m told Millenial men have made huge strides in combating the deadbeat dad. But when I grew up, every family I knew was held together by the mother. My father worked. He did not do anything else. He didn’t cook, clean, play with or watch the kids, do yard work, make doctor appointments, meet with teachers, shop for the family, chauffeur the kids around, any of it. He didn’t even buy Christmas presents for his own parents, my mom had to do that for him. Most of the households I visited seemed to function the same way. I know my husband wouldn’t do that; hell, as it is, he does more than I do, often in the 90 min per day that I spend commuting. But my understanding is that, when it comes to raising kids, women still take on more of the work on average. And I’m not even sure if I want one, lol!

And the other huge concern is the political scene. If Trump wins in November, or just… Idk, stages a coup or whatever, I… Probably won’t reproduce. As I understand, his proposed administration/Project 2025 is looking to defund public education, continue destroying the planet for the profit of a few people, and generally dismantle everything. I don’t think the country would recover within my childbearing years.

Basically, I don’t know what the hell I want. I suppose I can get another job if I lost the one I have, although I’m told competition is stiff. Once you have a baby, though, you uh… You have a kid, lmao! I admit that I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out why one would want a baby. The ‘ol pro/con list isn’t looking too great! Like, babies, okay? The good things (in my mind): as we age, we lose more people. It’s common and understandable to want more people to call your own, especially as we age and as life pulls us further apart from people we knew when we were younger. Some people experience reproductive drives, so there is a driving force. Cons: Pregnancy is body altering and life endangering, children produce a horrific and varied array of fluids, they’re sick all the time and make their parents sick too, daycare costs are a second mortgage for five years in my area, taking them to and from daycare and school around work is next to impossible, they make noises and run around (aka, incompatible with my stimulus issues), and I personally don’t have fond childhood memories or warm feelings about family, thanks to my own difficult upbringing.

This is one of those decisions that doesn’t logic on paper. I’m sure most people would say, “Oh, you don’t use logic for this sort of thing!” But then, like. Uh. What are you doing? I have a coworker who is maybe 15 years older than me who talked to me about people my age not having kids (uninvited, I might add, lmao). She was like, whenever I ask someone your age, they give me all these reasons about money and daycare and the difficulties of navigating work around a family where both parents have full time jobs. You just make it work! You’ll figure it out!

And I remember thinking, Ma’am, your youngest is 12. Daycare didn’t cost $2,000-2,400 per month per kid back then, and mortgages and rent were less. Like, sure, yeah, I’ll just have a kid and feed them hopes and dreams, no problem! Mm, delicious.

I don’t know, man. Sometimes I think about all the folks who will never have kids because they can’t afford them, and I feel so enraged. Or the rising infertility rates as our environment and foods become less healthy and our stress increases. Or I think about the people who have kids but can rarely spend time with them (and desperately want to) because they are trying to get the money they need to take care of them. And then there’s people like me, who are so goddamned tired and overwhelmed by their job that they have no brain space to even… Like… Figure out if they want a kid!

Well, there will be no changes until I see how the election and the possible coup go, so I need to put this down for now.

What a fun sentence.

#hidden's life

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trans-duckling · 6 months ago

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KakaGai Week 2024: Fire Country's Wilderness

Words: 1,947 Pairing: KakaGai Promt: Collectables

Excitement ran through Kakashi’s veins as he jumped from one building to another on his way to the training ground where he knew Gai would be with his students. He just hoped he was almost finished, because what he had discovered had priority over any training. Or that was his opinion, anyways.

As expected, his friend was torturing the young genin with personalized exercises that would no doubt help them to become chunnin soon. The Hatake didn’t do a lot of that anymore, since Naruto had left with Jiraiya, Sakura was under Tsunade’s supervision and Sasuke… Well, he tried not to think too much about how he had failed him in order to avoid his brain messing up with him even more.

“Yo!” he exclaimed as he reached the team.

“My rival!” Gai greeted with way too much energy. “Have you come to join us in a youthful training?!”

Judging by Tenten’s and Neji’s expressions, the activity was being more a tortuous than youthful. Then again, they had to deal with a high-energy Gai for most of their day, so…

“Not really” he deadpanned. “Could I talk to you for a moment?”

Kakashi put emphasis on sounding serious but not urgent, though the matter was rather pressing, if they asked him. His friend, obviously noticing that, nodded while walking behind him until they were at a safe distance from the genin. Tenten and Neji took that as a signal for taking a break, while Lee started to do push-ups. He really was like a mini clone of Gai.

“So, what is it, rival? A mission?”

“Ah… No” the Hatake said. “I saw a new international delivery entering the village an hour ago.”

“Okay…” the other man nodded, as if waiting for something more. “And…?”

“It was an international delivery, Gai” he pressed.

A few seconds passed before his friend opened his eyes wide.

“Oh! OH! I see!” the taijutsu master exclaimed, suddenly excited and barely containing his energy. A moment after, his expression changed into a sour one as he looked back at the genin and then to Kakashi as if he didn’t know what to do. “I, uh… I know I promised you we would do this together, but my students…”

“Mah, Gai… You promised to open and build them together, but never said anything about shopping, so…”

“You’re right! GREAT!” he beamed, taking out his wallet the next second and offering him a bunch of money. “Here, there should be enough for two or three. We’re almost finished with the training, so maybe we can meet at your house in half an hour?”

The Hatake quickly took the money and put it away before the genin could start wondering what was going on.

“Sounds about right” he nodded. “See you in a bit.”

Not wanting to wait one more second, he shunshined back to almost Konoha’s center. There, at the corner of a building in a secondary street, an international shop brought items from all over the world once a month or so. It was a tricky business, since the provider had to have permits from all the countries to move freely and then be checked in every entrance to ensure they weren’t bringing anything dangerous to the villages. However, the price at which the products were sold definitely compensated those problems to the owners.

A few months ago, when Naruto left the village to study under Jiraiya’s supervision and Sakura told him about wanting to become a medic-nin, Kakashi had gone back to a normal jounin duty. That meant a higher number of dangerous missions and, since he was feeling rather guilty and useless about the whole situation, he also accepted those that nobody else wanted for morale or just because they bordered the suicidal. For several weeks his routine seemed to go back almost to what it was when he was in ANBU, the world grey around him. Of course, as soon as Tsunade noticed —she either paid more attention or cared more than other Kages—, he forced him to step down, but his guilt and sense of being useless remained there.

Until Gai intervened, that was.

Even after so many years, he still didn’t understand how it was possible for that man to find him at his lowest and manage to put him back together. One day, when he’d find the strength to do it, he would tell him how much that meant for the Hatake.

In that occasion, Gai had opted to make him focus on other things. Stupid things.

‘Maybe we should find a hobby for when we’re off-duty’ the taijutsu master had said. ‘We have too much money saved, anyways.’

It was a stupid suggestion. Shinobi didn’t need hobbies. And yet, the other man had dragged him through all Konoha’s streets until they found the international shop. There were a lot of different products they had never tried, so Gai made a challenge to finally do it. One of the things they bought were a couple of rectangular white boxes that were supposed to contain a puzzle or something like that. Obviously, the intention of buying two was too see who could put it together faster.

Once at Gai’s home, the package revealed to have not puzzles, but some kind of figures that could be put together to make a three-dimensional landscape of a well-known part of the world. And it was not one puzzle, but a series of collectables ones that could appear randomly in the box. The whole building process turned out to be way more difficult than what they had initially predicted, but the result was rather accurate and pleasant to the sight. And that without counting that each landscape was constructed to act as some kind of day-to-day object, like a pot, a door’s holder or fishbowl.

The thing was that, after hours of building those things, Gai won the challenge and Kakashi was left with the desire to get some of the other constructions that appeared in the pamphlet. One in particular became his favorite with just a simple look, but he would never admit it. As stablished before, to have a hobby like that was stupid for a shinobi. And those things were expensive to buy, even with their jounin pays.

The next day, Gai appeared at his house with two more and they spent all the afternoon at it again.

Little was needed after that, the activity becoming something satisfactory for both of them. To Gai, it was another opportunity for a challenge. To Kakashi, it was a relaxing activity. And, of course, it was also a nice way to spend time together without having to factor feelings in the equation. That was as completely different story.

One thing they didn’t consider after buying the six available constructions at the shop, was that once they were all finished they had to wait until the next delivery to get more, which could take from one to three months.

Thus, why Kakashi had run to find Gai the moment he had seen the international delivery arriving to Konoha. Now, he waited in his little apartment with four white boxes mocking him on the desk. They were challenging him to be opened and reveal if they had gotten anything new. Up until then, they had bought eight boxes —plus those four— and gotten five different landscapes and one duplicate twice. They both had one of the repeated, while the other four had been distributed by tossing a coin and the duplicates had been given to some friends. And they still had twelve more to collect each of them. The Hatake had opted to not do the math to calculate how much money he would need to make the whole collection.

What was most annoying —especially being a shinobi—, was that it was impossible for them to know what was inside of the box without opening it, which of course you could only do once bought. There was no serial number to check and the weights seemed to be identical.

“I’m here!” a loud voice exclaimed while banging at his door. “Open up, rival!”

Sighing after having to wait for so long, the Hatake left the chair to let his friend come inside.

“Four again?” Gai huffed, looking at the packages on the desk. “I really thought they would consider my suggestion of bringing more next time!”

“I guess we’re the only ones buying them for now” Kakashi shrugged. “So bringing more would probably take up space for other best-selling items, even if we do leave a fortune in this... Anyways, are you ready?”

“Always, rival!” his friend beamed. “You’ll see, I’m sure this time we won’t get any duplicate!”

They got two duplicates. Yup, their financial savings were going to disappear thanks to those collectables, Kakashi was sure of that now.

At least they got two news, too. And not some random ones, no, they got it. The one he had been waiting for since the first time. Called ‘Fire Country’s wilderness’, it was a small fountain and lamp that worked connected to the electricity by a plug. It had a conical form, with the most famous animal species of the territory, all replicated with absolute precision and a landscape so beautiful that it brought peace to the Hatake just by looking at it. That, together with the soft running of the water and the dim light, made of it an object that he would appreciate for the rest of his life. If he got it, that was.

“Well, then” he coughed, trying to look nonchalant. “Should we toss the coin to see who takes which?”

“We could, but I don’t think it will be necessary this time.”

That look again. The damn look indicating that Gai was able to read him like an open book even when the only visible part of his face was an eye. He hated and loved it at the same time.

“Are you sure? It would only be fair.”

“Of course I’m sure, rival!” the other man assured, patting him on the back. “You take the fountain, and I’ll take the Wind Country oasis, see? That way we’re all happy.”

Trying to hide how delighted he actually was about it, Kakashi took the object in his hands and found the perfect spot for it in the corner of the desk next to the bookshelf. There, it would be protected from falling and a plug was accessible to connect it so it could act as a lamp and a fountain when turned on. He did so almost immediately, satisfied with the calm sound of the thin creek running down.

“Would you like to stay for lunch?” he asked before thinking about it, his mind still focused on the warm feeling in his belly.

“Are you sure, rival? I wouldn’t want to impose…”

He wasn’t.

“I wouldn’t ask otherwise, Gai.”

“Well, in that case… Of course!”

They would slip. Again. Either if it was only making out or more, he knew it would happen. Some time ago, he had tried to promise himself to stop that kind of relationship with Gai until he could offer him what he really wanted: a partner. They had even —more or less— talked about it in the past and agreed it was for the best to not keep getting involved like that.

Evidently, the decision was not working for them. Not as long as Gai’s hands kept finding their place on his hips while he cooked in the kitchen. But it was ok, he tried to convince himself. That would be the last time. For sure. No more slips.

It was not the last time.

#kakagai #kakagai week 2024 #kakagaiweek2024 #hatake kakashi #maito gai #collectables #fanfic #ao3 #let them play #cute hobby #look at them being silly and spending money

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to-each-based-on-need · 1 month ago

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I went to my first good meeting yesterday. It was non religious and mostly a share group about people facing adversity and having the strength and tools necessary to get through it with grace and gratitude. it was the first time I felt hope in a few days.

I did my relaxing bedtime routine. I actually wrote for the first time in forever. Years. I fell asleep reading. I got three and a half hours of sleep, which is the most I’ve gotten in a clip all week.

I woke up and cannot stop crying for missing him. I want to get better and I will get better because it is the only option where I survive. I just hate myself for squandering this opportunity. I moved back home at the beginning of 2020 because I was too depressed and addicted to function. It helped for a little, and getting away from the people that triggered me emotionally and triggered me to drink was helpful, for a time. I guess that part has always been helpful. The problem is I didn’t find new community. I thoughtI could do it alone. What hubris! There were lots of challenges I faced, and I didn’t have the tools to face them alone. I was living in my childhood home with my formerly abusive and deeply unwell alcoholic mom. I felt like I was fifteen again, except I was in my late twenties without the benefits of naturally-occurring community or hope. I had been taking such poor care of myself that at first, just not drinking every day was a huge accomplishment. But jesus, was it hard. I lived in that house for four years. I had a whole year sober, and worked on my mental health, but I still didn’t have any community I have never been good at making friends; I’m private and secretive and flirtatious. I has a few pleasant acquaintances through work, I still have them, but they have their own lives. I was so deeply depressed for so long that I foolishly pinned my hopes on moving out fixing everything. Then TJ and I got close and moved in together. He had seen me drunk once before and it was ugly. He told me if I ever drank again, he would leave. He is a person of principle. We moved in, and it has been so comparatively peaceful. It would have been a great opportunity to heal. It also brought up all my feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. I got homesick for parts of my life where I had people around I felt understood me. I missed old friends and lovers terribly. I resented him for making an ultimatum that made me feel like I couldn’t ask him for help. I realize now that feeling was something I could have explained more. Instead, I drank in secret and lied about it. At first, it was only a little. Then more frequent but not in insane amounts (probably insane to normal people, but I have no concept of what normal drinking is). Last weekend, I binged. There are a thousand reasons why: I wanted to celebrate feeling safe (WHYAREYOUDUMB); I was happy; I wanted to feel unrestricted; I was sad; I wanted to be able to relax; I wanted the confidence to reach out to the people I missed so much. That is such a shitty part. Sunday he confronted me and told me he knew I’d been drinking. I do not remember the rest well, but I remember telling him I had hid it because his ultimatum had made me feel I couldn’t talk to him. I remember trying to turn my shame into anger. Then I woke up and we weren’t talking. I went to stay at my mom’s. He told me he could eventually forgive me but couldn’t trust me and couldn’t be in a relationship with a person he couldn’t trust. And he’s right. I have been in panic mode since 2018. I have so much untreated trauma. I try, but I don’t have a lot of support and I kept not putting myself first.

The meeting last night made me feel good. Talking to people close who care has helped tremendously. But I’m still geographically alone. I don’t have anyone nearby I can cry to or be held by. I’m going to keep going to meetings until the miracle happens. But jesus. I let him become the one good part of my life. And then I threw it away. I want to beg him to give me another chance. I offered to go to couple’s therapy with him but he said he couldn’t think about that right now. I can hear him snoring in the next room and it is going to be the thing that helps me fall back to sleep. I genuinely feel like I can recover. I do not want to be without him. He is kind and this life we started building is so beautiful. I need to make him trust me again. I am hoping that showing up every day being a better person and offering him constant honesty and patience will help. Right now he doesn’t want to talk to me. How badly I want to go fall asleep in his bed right now. I will not, though. Boundaries. Jesus, when did I become so pitiful and codependent.

I also need so much therapy for codependency. I need to be up in two hours for a meeting because it will help. I am doing all I can to fall back to sleep. I just need a little bit of hope for a better life to get me through right now.

#sobriety #this fucking sucks #personal #lucky to be here

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vanillashusband · 2 years ago

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Helpfully Unhelpful

Word count: 2804 words Fandom: Cookie Run Kingdom Relationship(s): Blue Jay Cookie/Madeleine Cookie A/N: Fic I keep forgetting to post!! kind of a first meeting with me and Madeleine

🧡TAGLIST: @selfshippinglover @sunstar-of-the-north

It was a peaceful morning in the Cookie Kingdom. Gingerbrave was going about his daily routine, walking around town, checking in with his friends, and running a few errands when the voice of Madeleine Cookie caught his attention. It wasn't unusual to hear Madeleine Cookie throughout the day as he made his rounds because he was loud, and when he spoke, practically every cookie in the Kingdom could hear him. Gingerbrave rounded the corner and went to see what commotion Madeleine was involved in this time, and he was surprised to see Madeleine Cookie standing in front of a tall tree, talking to seemingly no one. Gingerbrave approached the other cookie curiously. "Madeleine Cookie, who are you talking to?" He asked. Madeleine turned and smiled brightly. "Morning, Gingerbrave!" He greeted. "I was just trying to help this poor Cookie out of this tree. But he's a little too afraid to come down." Madeleine Cookie explained. Gingerbrave looked up in confusion, and sure enough, there was another cookie perched high up in the branches of the tree, sitting in a reclined position. He didn't seem like he needed help at all. It took a moment, but Gingerbrave finally realized why this cookie seemed so familiar to him. They hadn't met officially, but he had heard talk from around town that a new Cookie had appeared in the Kingdom. A very skilled beast hunter named Blue Jay Cookie. He had been taking on the monsters in the Kingdom's forests and clearing them out quickly without any difficulty. Gingerbrave had heard from Herb Cookie that Blue Jay had helped him gather some plants in a dangerous part of the woods recently. So he knew that he was a kind and helpful cookie. "For the last time, I told you I am not stuck. I do not need your help." Blue Jay Cookie said in annoyance. His eyes travelled to Gingerbrave. "Young one, please talk some sense into this Cookie and tell him that I'm perfectly fine up here." He said. "There is no need to be frightened! As long as I am here, there is nothing to worry about, jump down and I will catch you in my strong arms!" Madeleine Cookie called cheerfully. "Madeleine Cookie… I think he's ok. He doesn't need any help." Gingerbrave said. "Nonsense. Why would a Cookie be up in a tree unless they were stuck?" He questioned. "As I told you before, I was taking a rest after my hunt last night. And I would like to get back to it." Blue Jay Cookie responded with a groan. "You sleep in a tree?" Gingerbrave piped up. Blue Jay paused for a brief moment. "Well, yes. Where else would I sleep?" He questioned. "In a house?" The younger cookie replied quizzically. "If you are too tired to walk home, I will carry you there! It will be of no trouble for me, the Knight Commander!" Madeleine boasted with a hearty laugh. There was a long string of silence between the three as they waited for Blue Jay Cookie's answer. He then tentatively spoke up. "I don't exactly have a place to stay." Blue Jay said quietly. "You don't have a house yet?" Gingerbrave said in surprise. "Well then, I can talk to a few cookies in town and we can start building you a new home right away!" The young cookie said cheerfully. Blue Jay Cookie looked shocked for a moment. "Wait… Are you serious?" Blue Jay asked, his tone filled with disbelief. "Of course I am! I've heard a lot about you and everything you do to keep the kingdom and the surrounding area safe from monsters. I'm sure everyone would be glad to help out and build you a proper place to stay." Gingerbrave said. Blue Jay Cookie still seemed rather uncertain about the whole situation, but he nodded. "Alright then." He said simply. "And thank you." Blue Jay added. Gingerbrave smiled. "No problem!" He chirped happily. "Oh! And while your home is being built, perhaps you would like to stay with me? I assure you it would be much more comfortable than living in a tree." Madeleine offered, clearly hoping that Blue Jay would take him up on the offer. "Actually-" Blue Jay began slowly before getting cut off by Madeleine Cookie. "Great!" He exclaimed joyfully. Blue Jay sighed to himself. It seemed his mind was made up for him. He slid off the branch and jumped to the ground. Blue Jay Cookie's cape opened and it slowed his fall magically. Madeleine Cookie stepped forward and opened his arms to allow Blue Jay to gently drift into his waiting embrace. But he flapped his cape like a pair of wings and shot high above them, gracefully landing a few steps away. "Wow!" Gingerbrave said in amazement. "I don't need you to carry me." Blue Jay muttered. "If you insist. But I can't help but feel that it is my duty to watch over you now." Madeleine argued. "That really isn't-" Blue Jay attempted to say, only to stop short once again when he saw Madeleine's bright blue eyes. Madeleine Cookie's gaze never left Blue Jay's face and for some reason, Blue Jay found that he couldn't speak properly. He knew full well that he was blushing, which only caused more embarrassment. Blue Jay quickly cleared his throat nervously and avoided the other Cookie's eyes. "I suppose we haven't properly introduced ourselves. I'm Blue Jay Cookie." He greeted. Madeleine Cookie chuckled at the sudden change in topic. "I am Madeleine Cookie, Knight Commander from the Crème Republic!" He announced proudly, flipping his long white hair dramatically. Blue Jay raised an eyebrow. Was he always this dramatic? Blue Jay Cookie also noticed that Madeleine Cookie was wearing shiny polished armour, complete with an impressive shield and sword to go with it. "I'm Gingerbrave." He introduced. "Hello, Gingerbrave. It is very nice to meet you both." Blue Jay said, smiling politely. Gingerbrave smiled back. "Well, I gotta go now. Have to let the Sugar Gnome Guild know that they should start work on a new house." He said. Blue Jay and Madeleine Cookie waved goodbye to Gingerbrave as he hurried off. There was a pause as Blue Jay Cookie realized he was now alone with Madeleine, but the other cookie quickly broke the tension. "Come, I will show you to my home. There you can rest yourself." He said, beckoning Blue Jay toward him. The two cookies walked down the street side by side and made their way further into town. Eventually, Madeleine Cookie stopped in front of a fence with a large fancy gate and gestured with a sweep of his hand. "Welcome to my humble home away from home. It's not much, but it is suitable enough for my needs. I hope you will be comfortable here." He said. It was practically a mansion. It was a lot larger than what Blue Jay Cookie had been expecting. There was even a sizable beautifully manicured garden with a shrine in the backyard. Blue Jay Cookie glanced at Madeleine Cookie. He was gazing at him expectantly. Madeleine's home was twice the size of his old home, and Blue Jay had spent the last several weeks scraping by in the wilds. This was what he considered humble? "Thank you again for letting me stay, Madeleine. Your home is lovely." Blue Jay Cookie complimented. "You are most welcome! Please, make yourself at home!" Madeleine Cookie answered, leading him inside. When Blue Jay Cookie entered, he was immediately taken aback by the lavishness of Madeleine's home. The walls were painted deep blue and white with elegant detailing along the edges. There was a huge fireplace, a grand staircase ascending from the room, and even a crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling with dozens of lights illuminating every corner. "Wow…" Blue Jay murmured as he took in the grandeur and luxury of the house. Madeleine Cookie's smile widened smugly at Blue Jay's reaction. "It does indeed look quite beautiful. I am so glad you like it!" He chimed merrily. "Why I will even order a feast tonight and we could enjoy a delicious meal together!" Madeleine offered. "T-There is no need to go through all that trouble just for me." Blue Jay Cookie said somewhat bashfully. "I'm going to sleep until nightfall anyhow so I won't be a bother." He added. Madeleine Cookie blinked in surprise. "Sleep until nighttime? But why would one want to sleep through the entire day and be up all night?" He questioned with a slight pout. "The beast I have been tasked with hunting only comes out at night. I need all the energy I can get." Blue Jay explained. "Are you certain that you can handle such a task alone?" Madeleine Cookie asked, his brows furrowed. "Of course, it is my job after all." Blue Jay Cookie replied. "Hm." Madeleine hummed thoughtfully. There was a string of silence between them. "Well, I suppose I shall leave you to settle in, then." Madeleine said. Madeleine Cookie guided Blue Jay Cookie to the spare guest room on the second floor and left to attend to his regular duties. Blue Jay Cookie opened the door and tried not to be overwhelmed by the spacious fancy room. The big bed was neatly made and looked fluffy and inviting. He had to admit, sleeping in such a luxurious bed would be a welcome change to sleeping in a tree every night. His dough was beginning to get sore. Blue Jay took off his cape and hat and hung them on a coat hanger. After drawing the silky curtains to darken the room, he crawled gratefully under the soft covers and quickly fell asleep. When the night fell over the kingdom, and as every cookie was getting ready to drift off to sleep, Blue Jay Cookie awoke. The sky had darkened, and it was time to start the hunt. He climbed out of bed slowly, trying to not make any sound, and donned his cape and hat. He crept across the room quietly and peeked around the doorway to see if the coast was clear. The mansion was silent and dark, with only a few lights lit throughout. Blue Jay Cookie didn't want to disturb Madeleine Cookie, so he snuck down to the front doors. He slipped outside as silently as possible and closed the door behind him. Blue Jay Cookie navigated his way to the edge of the kingdom where it bordered the forest. The moon was shining brightly overhead. A cold breeze rustled through the trees, bringing the fresh scent of the forest to him. Blue Jay sniffed the air. Most Cookies didn't have a heightened sense of smell like he did. He had trained for a long time to differentiate the scents of the many creatures and Cookies he encountered. He peered cautiously into the inky blackness of the treeline, scanning for anything moving. Nothing stirred. Blue Jay continued onward, looking over his shoulder every now and again cautiously. The beasts he was hunting were Blueberry Spiders. A Cookie from town had posted the job on the bounty board a day ago when an innocent Cookie nearly got dragged from the road while travelling. The monsters had made their nest in the forest and had been straying closer to the kingdom. Blue Jay Cookie moved through the brush with ease, barely making a sound as he checked the area for any evidence of the spiders. He took another whiff, and the smell of blueberries drifted faintly to him. Following the scent, Blue Jay Cookie discovered thin lines of silk clinging to the underbrush. Blueberry juice was spilt on the ground. Blue Jay touched the juice rubbing it in his hand thoughtfully. It was fresh. He was getting close. As the trail led deeper into the forest, the spider webs grew thicker and more numerous. Blue Jay carefully stepped over them as he scanned the darkness, looking for signs of movement. He came upon a small clearing where Blueberry Spiders had made their nest. Multiple spiders crawled over a large cocoon of webbing stuck to the trunk of a tree. Blue Jay Cookie carefully positioned himself downwind so that his presence was concealed and got down low into the brush. He crouched there, holding his breath and waiting patiently for the perfect moment to catch the monsters by surprise and strike. That was until something big began crashing through the bushes, a loud booming voice announcing their presence. "Ha ha! Fear not, for I am here!" Madeleine Cookie said. He raised his sword, it shone with the light of day, attracting the Blueberry spider's attention. "Madeleine Cookie?!" Jay exclaimed. "What on Earthbread are you doing here?" He sputtered. "My dear Blue Jay, I am here for your well-being." Madeleine responded, walking into the clearing boldly. A hoard of Blueberry Spiders began swarming out of the cocoon, hissing and screeching angrily at the intruders. Madeleine Cookie seemed unbothered and flipped his long white hair with confidence. The Blueberry Spiders rushed towards him, and he unsheathed his sword. "Wait, no-!" Blue Jay Cookie protested. Madeleine's sword glowed brightly, and with a powerful swing, a blue wave of light shot from the blade, slicing any creature in its way to pieces. The spiders retaliated by spitting globs of concentrated poison, easily blocked by Madeleine's floating shields. The Cookie raised his sword again for another attack when a Blueberry Spider shot out a sticky line of silk, yanking Madeleine Cookie's sword from his hand. "My sword!" He gasped. A Blueberry Spider leapt out at him, its fangs extended and ready to tear into Madeleine Cookie when Blue Jay Cookie swiftly jumped in front of the other Cookie, slashing and dicing the creature with the sharp edges of his cape before it could reach Madeleine. Blueberry juice spilled on the ground. More spiders surged towards them, spitting poison and bombs of silk. There were far too many to take on at once. To the knight's surprise, Blue Jay Cookie quickly scooped him into his arms and soared over the mob of Blueberry Spiders to the other side of the clearing. As soon as they reached a safer spot, Blue Jay Cookie set Madeleine Cookie down. Without a word, Blue Jay turned to the approaching spiders. He swung his cape, launching a spray of metal feathers into the midst of the swarm of spiders. But few of the blades found their targets, piercing into the ground and surrounding trees. Madeleine didn't understand the purpose of such a weak attack until he heard a hissing sound. Tied to the ends of each sharp feather were small paper bombs. The bombs exploded in rapid succession, sending a cloud of smoke over the entire clearing. Blue Jay Cookie shielded himself and Madeleine Cookie with his cape from the shower. The remaining Blueberry Spiders were immediately engulfed by the fine mist and let out shrieks of distress as they rubbed their faces with their mandibles. The area was filled with the pleasant scent of citrus and marigolds. Madeleine watched in awe and fascination as all the spiders, irritated by the scent, backed down and retreated into the dense forest. Blue Jay Cookie looked around the area, satisfied that the Spiders had been dealt with and turned Madeleine Cookie with a frown. He crossed his arms. Madeleine only stared in amazement. "Impressive strategy Blue Jay Cookie! How did you know that would work?" He questioned. "Because Blueberry Spiders are repelled by scents of citrus and marigold oil. I know that because it's my job." Blue Jay replied. "You're amazing!" Madeleine Cookie beamed. Blue Jay blinked rapidly, a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks. He cleared his throat and dismissed Madeleine Cookie's praise. "My job would have been a lot easier if you hadn't interrupted." Blue Jay Cookie huffed. "Why did you follow me anyway?" He questioned pointedly. "Well," Madeleine began with a smirk, "you're my friend, and I wanted to make sure you were alright. As a knight, it is my sworn duty to protect all cookies!" Madeleine Cookie explained. "I don't remember giving you any indication that I needed protecting." Blue Jay replied dryly. "Oh, there's no need for that! I'll always be here when you need me. But if you insist, we'll just have to think of something else to do together." He winked. Blue Jay rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly. "Let's get out of here, shall we?" Madeleine prompted. Blue Jay nodded in agreement and took the lead. He waited a moment while Madeleine Cookie collected his sword from the ground, the Cookie frowning at how dirty it had become. Together, they headed back to the kingdom for some rest as the first hints of sunlight began to tint the sky.

#bug dad writes #self shipping #self ship #Self Insert #self insert x canon #self insert community #self shipping community #self ship fic #s/i x f/o

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izzysarchivedblogs · 1 year ago

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THERE'S THAT ITCH. The flaw in who Clint was, the tick in his personality. HIS NEED FOR CONTROL, the way with which he had to be able to dictate the direction that his life was going, where his arrow was going to land. Hitting the mark.

He's terrible at schedules, at routines, and always had been. Something of which his therapist at rehab, had recommended him for an evaluation with which Clint had dismissed. YET Clint had always tried put himself under the illusion that he had control, that even when he was fumbling that, oh haha he had some idea here and there, that he still knew where his life was.

It's why the alcohol was such a problem, because he thought he had control even as a whole pack became regular, as two or more became occasion. NOW WITH THIS SOBRIETY THING? Clint thinks that he's creating control with this schedule, with deciding he'd give himself an off day from all of this. THAT HE HAD CONTROL, because he would start doing everything himself.

Conflating control with not needing help, with not asking. Holding up the fact that he had asked for help from Tony, from others here and there. CONTROL WAS DOING IT ALONE.

Clint stabs at his french toast, dragging it around through the syrup but not lifting it up to his lips. YOU ARE ALSO NOT AN ISLAND. He frowns, he doesn't quite think he's making himself an island. Maybe getting a little impatient, and than he already got his cast off which at least Tony had intervene from Clint doing it himself at the beginning of the week.

YOU CAN'T DO THIS ALONE. ❝ I know⸻ it's FINE, I'm doing fine and figuring it out. ❞ FIGURED IT OUT. He won't overdo it, and he's working on independence. Spending every day of every week thinking about this, why couldn't he take a night off, because every moment has been exhausting.

❝ Yeah, being driven. ❞ He agrees, wanting to point out like see he was letting help be had, that he wasn't doing this all alone in his attempt at re-establishing his independence after rock bottom, after rehab.

I KNOW YOU KNOW.... here it comes. Clint looks at Tony for a moment, and sighs because there's that part that he is the guy he asked him to help, his sponsor and has been-there, done-that. THAN there is the part of that sigh, that wants to reject that and push back against it. HE'S ALREADY MADE UP HIS MIND. ❝ WE'LL SEE TOMORROW. I got this all figured out ❞ Is all he says on the subject. He'll see how he feels tomorrow, and than he'll probably stick with his plan.

IT'S ALL BEEN SO EXHAUSTING. He just wants one night.

❝ We got time; have things in our pocket for days when we need to entertain Brandy, but we could do the smaller one some time soon.❞ IT'D BE DIFFERENT. He wanted different after these last five weeks.

Clint smiles, even if there is no way he wants to eat the eggs offered up to him. HE TAKES IT. ❝ Aww, Brandy, you're so sweet. Bibi-birdy thanks you. ❞ He does eat a bit of the thoroughly mushed eggs, only a little bit before he puts on his plate. ❝ You wanna eat more? ❞ He signs food and more to her, a few times, to see if she'd pick up on it.

Tony reached over the table and patted Clint's shoulder. "Look. I know you're trying to be independent, and that's great. You should aim for that. You need that. We need that. But please don't think that I'm bothered by helping you. I'm not. Just don't overdo it. That's all I'm asking. No - not asking - advising as your sponsor. You need to be independent, but you are also not an island. You can't do this alone."

Tony pulled out his phone and began to fill things in, so that he had an idea when he might be needed and when he would be free. "So I'm assuming you'll probably want to be driving over to your PT until your leg is stronger at least, just because it's a long way to travel there and back on the subway. Especially the back when you've just been doing PT for two hours." While it was phrased as a statement, it was a question. He definitely wasn't telling Clint what needed to happen. For a couple of weeks at least, Tony had cleared his schedule, and he was there to make sure Clint had as much support as he needed.

He would need to go back to things, but he could start part time if needed, and then as Clint had a routine and his injuries healed, he'd go back to his regular life, just checking in with Clint, hanging out in free time, and going to a couple of the regular meetings with him. For now though, he was ready for whatever Clint needed him for. He wouldn't force himself on the other man. But he was free when he needed him.

Ninety in ninety was the recommendation for addicts, and Clint hadn't even made it seven in seven.

Tony let out a breath. "I know you know that's not the recommended. So I'm gonna say that I do think you should at least try and get to the ninety meetings. But I also know you. So if you're really set that you do six a week instead of seven, can I at least talk you into doing seven days? You go to a meeting this Sunday. And then maybe after that, doing video chat meeting to make up the until at least the end of a month? Even if it's the same day as an in person one. They do have meetings all day long in the city."

He wasn't too confident that Clint would agree to that, but he at least did his due diligence in suggesting it.

"We don't have to set the zoo trip in stone. See how you feel. I mean, the central park zoo is two blocks away, so it's not exactly something we need to plan super in advance if you want to do it. Bronx is a bigger trip though. Do you have a preference?"

Brandy babbled happily when Clint asked her about the zoo and held out a handful of her eggs to him. They were very thoroughly mushed.

#ic; clint barton #mrtonystark #alcoholism cw #clint barton; mrtonystark #rp; mrtonystark #verse; clint barton; who shares your burdens (mrtonystark)

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horrorwhores-posts · 2 years ago

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Arts pet.

Summary: Your family decided to reopen the miles county carnival. And you soon catch the eye of a certain black and white clown.

Word count- 6307 (it’s a doozy)

Warnings: blood, mentions of dead bodies, sexual themes (but no smut), torture, reader/ character was written as afab but you should be able to read it as gender neutral.

Authors notes: this is my first ever fan fiction I’ve written so please be gentle on me. Also not proofread so there might be some errors. And this is about Art the clown soo, yeah. This big ol’ dork has me wrapped around his horn.

Maybe reopening the rundown carnival in Miles county wasn’t a good idea. But no matter how many times anyone told my father not too, he’d just brush it off. Working with your family is hard, even harder when you’re a carny family. My family and I have been on the road ever since my parents got married back in 93’. Soon after they had my older brother, sister, me, and finally my little twin brothers. My father joined the Barnum and Bailey circus when he was a teenager after his grandmother and sole guardian died. Being 15 with no other options, the circus became his new home and they welcomed him with open arms. My mother was the complete opposite, coming from a prestigious, well off, loving family; well if they liked you that is. My mother never really fit into her family, she had always been the black sheep and problem child. And no matter how hard her parents tried, she was never suited for their perfect world. She actually met my father when she was on a date with a “proper'' young man, as her mother put it. After spending roughly an hour listening to the high collared sleaze belittle every performance and worker he came in contact with, they got to my father’s act. Over the years he had climbed the ranks from being a cage cleaner to the circus’s headlining daredevil, and he was really good at it. His stunt that night was riding his motorcycle around a metal cage that was lit ablaze. Even my mother’s date was dumbfounded. After the show was over my mother refused to spend another second with her dick headed date. She snuck away from him and with the help of a hopeless romantic bearded woman she was able to go back to my fathers trailer. He said the second he laid eyes on her he knew he was going to marry her. And that night my mom decided to run away with him. My parents have been inseparable ever since.

Growing up the way we did, my siblings and I have developed multiple talents and were able to pick our own personal acts. My oldest siblings are aerial artists. I was one myself for a while and will even join in on their performances, but my actual love is contortion and fire breathing. The twins are in their teens and still learning about themselves every day. My father had always wanted to own a circus/carnival for himself, and over the past few years his craving to get off the road grew. Through the grape vine he had heard of the Miles county carnival being sold for little to nothing, we later found out that there were multiple murders there, which explained why the value was so low. My mother, sister and I all had our reservations about buying the place, but yet we still found ourselves standing at the entrance of the carnival in all of its glory. It took us months to spruce the place up, fix broken rides, and rebrand the whole park. My father even built a circus tent in the park where my family and other performers could perform if they wanted. We had our handful of protesters over the past few days but we also had a lot of tickets sold for tonight, opening night. I stood in the circus tent, looking at the time on my phone. 8:30; 30 minutes till opening and an hour till the show starts. Deciding to practice some of my aerial work for tonight's show, I gripped the soft silk as the music blasted through my speaker in the corner of the stage. I started going through the routine one last time, not noticing the black and white figure watching intently from the shadows. I ended on my finishing pose and nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard loud, sporadic clapping coming from the echoing seating area. I safely dismantled and shielded my eyes from the spotlight to see who was there. A black and white clown stood in the middle of the aisle between the seats still clapping with a large smile on his face. I felt my face heat up from embarrassment and anger.

“The show doesn’t start till 9:30, I’m sorry but you have to leave.” I said from atop the stage as I quickly gathered my items. The clapping ceased immediately and I glanced over my shoulder and saw the clown standing there, arms stiff at his sides, an emotionless face looking back at me. A shiver of dread prickled up my spine and I quickly exited backstage, still feeling his icy gaze on me. I briskly walked to my dressing room and locked the door behind me. I glanced at my phone screen and noticed it was only 8:50. ‘Wait, if we aren’t open yet how did he get into the tent?’ My thoughts were broken when three gentle raps came from my door, a common knock my sister used to let me know she was the one wanting in. I strode to the door and unlocked the handle, my sister stepped in and gently shut the door behind her.

“You okay? You rushed into this room like your ass was on fire.” she asked as I sat at my vanity, my head in my hands. With a deep sigh I rubbed my hands down my face and finally looked at her.

“Yeah, I think I’m just tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night.” I weakly responded. She lowered her eyes at me, assessing if she believed me or not. Her eyes softened as I guess she decided it wasn’t worth pressing.

“Maybe you should take a nap before you go out on stage, I’m going on first so I can wake you up when it’s almost your time to go on.” My eyes light up at the thought of getting some sleep.

“You promise? Like really?” I ask with hopeful excitement. She nodded her head, opened the door, waved, and gently closed it behind her. I glanced back at the mirror and saw the dark bags under my eyes, deciding a power nap would be best. I got up, turning off my main light, leaving my vanity lights on, and crawled on to the small gray couch. I had some burgundy throw pillows and a black blanket, I used to get nice and comfortable. In the dim light I could barely make out the posters I had adorning my walls. Mostly old Barnum and Bailey posters my dad snagged before he left, but there were a few photos of me performing. After a few minutes my eyes felt heavy and I quickly fell into a deep sleep.

‘The colorful lights were twinkling against the night that engulfed it. My nose was invaded with the sweet yet salty smell of popcorn and cotton candy. Energy buzzed around me like electricity, lightly shocking my senses. All around me were people playing games, eating food, and laughing with pure joy. In the distance you could hear the screams of ride goers as they raced into the air, some of them twisting and turning along the tracks. The environment was warm and inviting, glowing with delight. I soaked it all in. Embracing the happiness that flooded me, I pranced around the carnival, seeking out my next adventure. As I wandered through the fair I accidentally ran into a figure. He was tall, holding a bunch of red balloons, concealing his face from my view. A black sleeve emerged from the crowd of latex, holding a floating sphere out to me. I gently took it from his gloved hand, immediately hearing a loud, threatening crack from the sky above. Glancing up I noticed a fiery red glow erupt from behind the thick clouds rolling in the darkness of the sky. Suddenly the cheery demeanor of the festival dissipated and the screams of joy turned into ones of pure horror. I whipped around and saw multiple rides on fire, the patrons festering in their seats. Mutilated corpses laid strewn across the park, blood and guts splattered everywhere. My tears were singed on my cheeks from the heat of the flames. The scream that was bubbling in my throat was cut short as long, strong arms wrapped around me.’

I was startled awake, my body jerking up and my brain still fuzzy. I looked around my dimly lit room, looking for what caused my sudden consciousness. There were alarm bells going off in my head, but I couldn’t place what was causing them. Scanning my room for a second time, I immediately froze when I noticed the figure in the dark corner, my breath catching in my throat. Panic coursed through my veins as I fumbled to come up with a single coherent thought. The figure slowly stalked out of its hiding spot and into the dim light. My eyes finally focused on the lanky black and white clown towering over me, the same blank expression on his features as before. With my heart racing, I choked back a scream as he slowly bent down to my eye level, getting uncomfortably close. His dark eyes were threatening as he looked me up and down, assessing me. For what? I’m not fully sure. My chest was heaving from my rapid breath and pounding heartbeat, something he picked up on. He reached forward and placed a gloved hand on my chest, rolling his eyes back and breathing in deeply through his nose. I sat frozen as he smirked, opening his eyes and making intense eye contact.

My mind immediately went blank as the panic dissipated from my body, being replaced with a strong need. As I gazed into his onyx eyes I felt a strange, intimate connection to the man in front of me. His hand climbed from my chest to caress the side of my face, gently gliding his thumb over my lips. I slowly opened my lips, inviting the digit into my mouth, and sucked lightly as it hit my tongue. His taste was bitter and salty, and he smelt of fire and sweat. Normally I would be repulsed but for some reason I was intoxicated. The clown’s mouth was hung open with lust, chest quivering from his deep breaths. If he had pupils, I knew they would be dilated. My eyes closed as I savored the flavor of him, moaning softly. He pulled his hand away, I released his thumb with a soft pop. My eyes shot open as I felt a rough yank on the ponytail atop my head. I fell back and the man followed me, climbing on top of me. His long lanky frame just barely fit on the small couch with me. His hands roaming my sides as he buried his face into the crook of my neck, sucking and biting with a hunger I’ve never experienced before. I moaned as his hand snaked under my shirt, roughly grabbing at my chest.

A sharp pain radiated from my neck and I shrieked. His hand quickly clamped over my mouth as he continued the assault on my neck, warm blood trickling down my shoulder. Fresh tears streamed down my cheeks as I struggled to get out of the grip that was holding me down. Finally the man sat up, blood adorning his mouth and filled his smile. Hand still over my mouth, he ripped my shirt exposing more of my chest. A muffled scream was ripped from me as the clown dug his finger into my fresh neck wound. He then took said digit and proceeded to write something on my flesh. Once he was done, he leant back over me with a sick, mocking sad face. Dragging his finger down his cheek, mimicking a tear. Finally placing a finger over his mouth in a shushing manner, he leant down and kissed my temple with a surprising gentleness. The hand covering my mouth moved to wipe the tears off my face. I whimpered as he placed another tender kiss on my forehead. The mysterious man gave me one more smile and wave of his fingers before he was gone without a trace. I laid in silence, my mind completely blank try to make sense of the last 10 minutes.

A loud banging startled me out of my daze, as whoever knocked started to come in. Fearing it was the man from before, I sprang up and used my entire body weight to slam the door shut. I heard a muffled grunt and exclamation of “what the fuck” as the lock clicked back into place, preventing anyone from coming in.

“Hey, you missed the whole performance!” My older brother yelled at me from the other side of the door. Ice ran through my veins as I scrambled for my phone and noticed it was 10:45 pm.

“Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.” I exclaimed while throwing my phone back down on the couch. I caught a glimpse of myself in my vanity mirror and I looked horrible. Somehow the bags under my eyes were worse, my body was flushed, and my hair was completely disheveled. My neck was still dripping crimson, with obvious teeth marks. My shirt was jaggedly ripped with dried blood marking the visible skin. In messy, dripping lettering, ‘Art’s pet’ was written across my chest. A strange shiver ran back up my spine, and I stood there wondering if I’d ever see this man again. Most of me hoped I never would, but a tiny part of me begged to differ.

A few weeks have passed since the strange encounter with the black and white clown, I now know as “Art”. He’s also known as the miles county clown with a long list of victims. I thought for a second he was just a weird fever dream, but the tiny teeth shaped scars on my neck prove otherwise. I’ve constantly been thanking the powers above that it was getting colder out, with me having to wear turtle necks to obscure my markings. My dreams have also been haywire since that night, filled with decimated remains and burning fire. He’s always there too, welcoming me with his demented gifts and acts of passions. Whether it's a still beating heart, a crude mural of me in coagulated blood, or gory jewelry from his victims, he always has something to give me. Greeting me with his signature wide smile, accompanied by some flourish to produce the gift of the day. With his palms out stretched, eyes blinking innocently, he’ll traumatize me yet again with a morbid curiosity.

Luckily I’ve been able to push his invading presence out of my mind during performances and when I’m around my family. My sister has noticed I’ve become a bit more reclused and only asked me about it once. When I snapped at her with an anger she hadn’t seen before, she never pressed the issue after. Tonight I sat in my heavily decorated trailer, covered in old rock n roll posters, tapestries and sentimental trinkets. I had a small dark brown vanity sitting in the front of the small room, my burgundy red twin sized bed laid adjacent to the vanity. My clothes and costumes were strewn about and hung up on a small portable hanging rack, a small bookcase sat at the foot of my bed with a vintage, delicate, lamp sitting on it. Books lined the shelves, ranging from the classics like Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, and Bram Stokers’ Dracula. Tonight I was reading The Complete Tales of Edgar Allen Poe, my head was laid at the foot of my bed, my tiny lamp dimly lit the pages. I lounged lazily in only my black satin robe, trying to turn my mind off for the night, preparing for sleep. A sudden loud knocking came from my front door. With a jump, I bookmarked my spot and slowly sat up. The pounding came again, even louder and more aggressive than last time. I stood up and wrapped the robe tighter around myself, slowly reaching for the curtain covering the small window on my door. The fervent banging picked up once more, and with a flourish of anger, I ripped the door open without looking first. There, in the misty night, stood the clown of my nightmares. The white and black mirage stood stone still, eyes wide, a bouquet of wild flowers outstretched towards me. ‘No , no, no’ raced through my mind as the door started to close. My ragged breath caught in my throat as a large gloved hand slammed on the door as I tried to shut it. He slowly climbed the feeble stairs and stepped into my tiny trailer, hunching to prevent from hitting his head on the ceiling. I stared up at him with pure shock and a hit of fear. He gleamed down at me and he stretched the bouquet back to me. With shaky hands I gently pulled it from his humongous mitt, ogling the beautiful flowers in my hand and gave them a gentle sniff. The scent of fresh florals and the musky scent of the impending rain wafted towards me and I hummed with satisfaction. He bowed down, gently grasped my other hand, and gingerly pressed a kiss to my knuckles. A blush creeped up my face as I shyly looked away, pulling my hand from his grasp. He smirked and stalked towards my vanity, taking a seat on my small chair.

He patted his lap and looked at me expectantly with a big smile. I gingerly placed the bouquet on my bed, wiping my sweaty palms on my robe and approached him sheepishly, finally standing in front of him. He reached out and wrapped his long arms around me, pulling me into his lap, causing me to yelp. He nuzzled into my neck, his warm breath tickling the sensitive scar tissue, sending shivers down my spine. Smirking at me through the mirror, he rubbed my sides, gently squeezing, almost threatening to tickle me. I made direct eye contact with him in the mirror, trying my best to give him the stoniest stare I could. He frowned, looking down, twiddling with the satin belt. I swiftly grabbed his hand before he could untie my robe and I just stared at his reflection as he continued to look down with his ‘sad’ face. Slowly his eyes connected to mine in the glass and we just sat there staring at each other for a long pause. My expression stayed cold, and his frown curled up into a scowl. With a silent huff he rolled his eyes and pushed me off his lap. I stood, stunned, as he walked over to my clothing rack and palmed the sequined outfits. His face broke out with a wide smile as he grabbed a shiny red one piece body suit from the hanger, rushing up to me and pushing it towards me. I jumped at his erratic actions, my arms limply holding the outfit. I looked up at him with confusion, as he started miming taking off his clothes sensually, almost in a cartoonish manner. I gulped and tightly gripped the belt of my robe till my knuckles were white. With another silent, irritated huff, he tapped his clown shoes impatiently on the ground and looked at his wrist as if there was a watch there. Not wanting to anger the man in front of me, I turned around and with trembling fingers I picked at the knot holding my robe together. It finally fell free and it gently slinked off my shoulder. I laid the one piece on my vanity and slipped the robe completely off, avoiding my gaze from the mirror entirely. I was never one to stare at myself naked, let alone in front of the miles county murderer. Somehow I didn’t hear him sneak up behind me, instead being scared by his hands snaking around my waist.

“Why?” I whisper, finally locking eyes with him in the chrome glass. His chin was buried into my neck and his breath fanned against my cheeks. His eyebrows quirk up in a question and his face falls to the side, feigning innocent curiosity. With an annoyed huff I yank my way out of his grasp and turn to face him. My hands cemented on my hips.

“What do you want?” I ask rather gruffly. The look of shock briefly took over his features before being taken over by a look of malice. I felt the spurt of confidence I had immediately disappeared as he reached forward. His hand gripped my throat and in a flash I was thrown onto my bed. He laid atop of me with a look of glee as he watched me struggle for breath. I knew my face was on the verge of turning purple when he finally let go. He leaned over me and stuck his long sharp nose into my neck. I could feel his hot breath against my skin and a shiver ran down my spine. Somehow I just knew he was breathing in the scent of my fear. That thought caused yet another shiver to rack through me, and the clown wasn't oblivious to it. I felt something warm and wet run up the side of my neck. His tongue left a prickly sensation in its wake as he faced me again. A smile adorned his face and his finger came up to boop me on the nose. Clumsily, he crawled off of me and I remembered that I was nude. I grabbed my blanket and covered myself as Art grabbed the one piece setting on the dresser. He brought it to his face and took a big sniff. Yanking it from his nose he made a silent gagging motion and threw the one piece at me. It hit me in my chest and with caution I took a small smell of the fabric. My eyebrows drew together as the scent of laundry detergent invaded my nostrils. The clown had his nose pinched between his fingers, sticking his tongue out in yet another gag and I rolled my eyes.

After dressing in my red leotard, Art led me to the performance tent. I felt uneasy as I stood on the pitch black stage. A loud crack emanated through the room as the lights sprang to life, eerie silence followed in suit. I was temporarily blinded, squinting my eyes until they adjusted. Almost immediately I recognized the 5 people sitting in the front row. My family was duck tapped and gagged, unconscious in their confines, blood coming out of differing cuts and scratches on their faces, proving they put up a fight. My family wasn't the only people in the crowd. Decapitated torsos, gutted stomachs, and carved up bodies surrounded my family. Staring at the mutilated and bloody corpses caused bile to rise in my throat. Panic wracked through me causing tears to cloud my vision, falling to my knees, wretching. Art started clapping in a way to get my attention. I turned my head towards him, a giant blanket covering something behind him. He gestured to my family, an evil smirk adorning his face as I slowly looked back at them. They were gently stirring as they slowly started becoming conscious again. That’s when it dawned on me. 5. The twins, mom, dad, and my older brother. I whipped my head back towards the black and white clown.

“Where is she?” While Looking straight at me, he reached up, grabbing the thick white tarp. Yanking down, the cloth fell from the giant round shape. It revealed my sister strapped to the wheel of death, the spinning circular board we used for our knife throwing acts. She was also coming to lucidity, fear flooding her features once she was able to comprehend a little of what was going on. Art slowly stalked towards my crumpled frame, bending down and dropping daggers in front of me. Immediately looking between my sister and the blades I was able to piece together what he wanted.

“No, fuck no!” I screamed, crawling backwards away from the sharp knives. Art grabbed my upper arm in a Vice grip, almost immediately bruising. Picking me up by said arm he pushed me towards the pile of metal. I violently shook my head, wrapping my arms around myself, staring at the ground. He pinched my chin between his fingers and jerked it towards him. I stared at him with glossy eyes. He frowned at me and gestured his hand towards my sister. My face morphed from fear to complete hard anger.

“No.” I glowered, refusing to break eye contact with him. His face became stony as he pushed my chin from him. Standing to his full height he glared at me and walked off stage. With him gone I rushed to my sister to untie her from the spinning board. As I got to one of her wrists she looked at me with tears streaming down her face. Muffled words escaped her taped lips.

“Hold still, I’ll get you down faster.” As I was distracted with the buckle my sister seemed to notice a familiar figure creeping up behind me. Her silence quickly turned into muffled screaming and thrashing. Finally focusing back on my sister, her wide eyes told me everything I needed to know. Looking over my shoulder I saw the clown raise his arm with something in it. With a quick strike down, I felt searing pain rip through me. I was lurked forward with the sheer force of the whip, screams being torn from me with every strike of the weapon. My sister's tears rained down on me as I clung onto her for support as the lashing continued. My back felt like it was being sliced open by a million little knives. The searing pain caused my consciousness to start to waiver. My sisters muffled screams faded from me as my ears started ringing, only hearing the crack of the cat o’ nine tail. My mind focused on nothing but the constant burn radiating from the wounds, refusing to let my legs buckle from the pain. Finally the lashing came to a halt as I heard a voice ring out.

“Okay! Okay. She’ll do it, just stop!” I looked up at my sister, noticing the tape dangling from the corner of her mouth. Her tears must have loosened the adhesive. “Do it. I trust you. Just get it over with.”

With heavy breath I slowly and painfully turned, looking at the demented man in front of me. Cautiously limping towards the pile of throwing blades, my knees wobbled slightly. I stopped to regain my balance, before bending down to grab the steel daggers. The cold metal bit at the warm skin of my palms, and the weight of them threatened to pull me down. Turning back to face my sister, I saw Art forcing her mouth shut with fresh tape. She struggled a bit, glaring with a hatred I’ve never seen. I stole a glance back at my tied up family, differing levels of horror adorning their faces. My mothers face was covered with tears and my fathers face was hard with a fire licking behind his eyes. Nothing but fear adorned the twins faces, and my older brother was looking around. Forming a way to get out, I assumed. Clapping for attention, I turned back to the black and white demon, watching him grab onto the wheel, to heave it down with his full body weight. My sister started spinning and I took a deep breath. Separating a knife from the bundle, I aimed it, cocking my arm back and tossing the blade directly at the board. It landed right between my sister's legs. Grabbing another blade, I wretched my arm back and threw it again. Thinking was never a good idea when it came to knife throwing. Just aim, breathe, and throw. The more you stall, the more you hit the target. Before I knew it I only had one dagger left. All the other throws were perfect misses and I readied myself for a final good throw. A loud piercing honk rang into my left ear. My throw was ruined. And I watched in horror as the sharp steel plunged itself into the soft flesh of my sister's thigh. Her muffled scream was drowned out by the intense ringing in my ears as I turned and looked at the clown. He was pointing at my sister and silently belly laughing, holding his stomach.

“I hate you! You stupid, annoying motherfucker!” I ran up to Art, hitting him on his sturdy chest. He barely reacted as he looked down his nose at me, watching me pound onto him with my full weight. He snatched my wrists and held my arms out, staring at my red face as I continued screaming profanities at him. Smiling sinisterly, he let go of my wrists and stalked towards the, now still, round board my sister was still attached to. I had no clue what his plan was but I tightly grabbed his arm, refusing to move. Realizing he was anchored, he slowly faced me again. “What will make you stop?” I basically whimpered. His grin widened even more than I thought it could. He stood back up to his full height, and I couldn't help but gawk at his towering stature. Gazing up, he tapped his chin in a ‘thinking’ manner until he snapped his fingers in a eureka moment. Cocking his head to the side, he grinned at me, leaning his face down. Becoming eye level with me he gently tapped his cheek, as an indication to give him a kiss.

A wave of nausea hit me, but I also got a fuzzy, warm feeling course through me at the same time. I hated it. I hated myself, for having some sort of affection for the man who’s done nothing but torture me and my family. I snapped back to reality when a loud clap erupted in front of my face. I blinked and refocused on the man in front of me. His face was almost child-like as he watched me with pure, I’m not sure, adoration? I took a deep, quivering breath, and stepped forward. Wrapping my arms around his neck, balancing on my tip toes, and I gave him what he wanted. Granted it wasn’t on his cheek, but he didn’t seem to mind. His lips still had that rich smokey flavor as last time. His hands immediately found my hips and pulled me in closer, almost desperate to get me closer. His tongue licked at my lips and I opened eagerly. I just let him have control, not feeling strong enough to put up a fight. I pulled back with a gasp as a sharp pain came from my lip. A small trickle of blood ran down Art's chin, causing me to reach up and gingerly touch my bottom lip. Pulling my hand back, there was warm blood covering my finger tips, and my lower lip throbbed.

“Let them go.” I croaked out. Art still had his grip on my waist, and squeezed almost threateningly. His eyebrows knitted together and his eyes squinted together in distrust. “If you want me, let them go. I’ll be all yours, no questions asked. As long as they’re safe.” I gently cupped the side of his face and placed our foreheads together. Our breathing slowed and we shared a moment of peace. Running my thumb over his jagged cheek bone, I felt my eyes water.

“Please.” I whimpered. Tears ran down my face as I finally looked up at my tormentor. His eyes almost softened when he saw me. His hand moved from my waist to my cheek, brushing the tears off as they fell. With a gentle kiss to my forehead, he stretched up to his full height and stepped back. He turned to the side and lifted his arm towards my sister. I slowly looked between the appendage and her. Making eye contact with the man again, I nodded and sped walked up to my sister. She was barely lucid. I lightly slapped her face and her eyes finally focused on me. Pulling a knife out of the board, I cut away at the leather straps holding her to the panel. When she finally tried to put weight on her leg she screamed. She grabbed the knife sticking out of her thigh and I supported her the best I could. I looked over my shoulder to see Art was gone. Not waiting a single moment I hobbled her across the stage, refusing to listen to her pleas to stop. We finally got to our trapped family. They sat there with nothing but pure terror and tears on their faces. With the dagger I cut my father loose first. Immediately he wrapped me in a bear hug, almost squeezing me a bit too hard. He held me for what felt like years but was no longer than a few seconds. My sister struggled to release my mother from her confines when we heard a loud boom. The heat came soon after as the back of the stage was lit ablaze. The fire grew to the top of the tent within seconds.

“Jesus Christ!” My father hollered as he, and the rest of us, scrambled to free our brothers. The smoke was thick and dark, making breathing almost impossible. Coughing, we were able to untie my brothers. We all were kneeling down toward the ground, trying to avoid the thick musk above us. “We’re not gonna be able to make it!” My mother screamed, as the loud crackle of the flames almost drowned her out. I could tell my sister was worse for wear, and I had no idea how to get her out. While my head was swimming with panicked thoughts, my eldest brother noticed the dagger I still had clutched in my hand. He grabbed the blade out of my hand, dashing towards the closest tent wall and carved into it.

“Come on!” He screamed as everyone rushed to the new opening. I grabbed my sister and supported/ dragged her out of the tent. Her consciousness was faltering when I laid her on her back. We hacked and gagged as we finally got some of our breath back. The tent was completely ablaze. I heard sirens wailing in the distance as my head started to spin. I started dry heaving while slowly crawling away from my family, not wanting them to see me like this. My vision blurred from the tears and the spinning when I suddenly saw I black shape in front of me.

“Get away from her!” A distorted familiar voice rang out as I looked up and saw a blur of white and black. For a split sec I was able to focus and I saw Art standing there. Blank faced and fists balled to his sides, he raised his foot. In a split second everything went black.

Waking up was almost like a nightmare to me. My head pounded and I was freezing. The room was still spinning and My eyes couldn’t focus on anything. I tried to move, but I was cramped in something small. With a groan I reached out and touched something cold and metal. But it wasn’t solid, it felt like it was made out of metal wiring. I adjusted myself and once again heard the ringing in my ears start up. The floor was solid underneath me, but I could see outside of my confines. My fingers once again grasped the walls around me and it all clicked. I was in a steel cage. Visions of what happened before I was knocked out bombarded my brain. Adrenaline mixed with panic and caused everything to come into sharp focus. There wasn’t much to see, it was dark and dingy, a single light swung above my cage. A smashed tv sat on the floor across from a table with a little stool. Blood and various sharp objects littered the table. I immediately scattered backwards until my back hit the chain wall. The reality of what I agreed to dug its way to the forefront of my brain. I agreed to be with this man. For whatever he shall need me for. My stomach flipped as all the possible scenarios ran through my mind. My leotard -covered body shivered in the corner of the cage. My erratic breathing caused me to notice that there was something around my neck. My throat felt constricted and panic wracked through me as I clawed at it until I got a decent grip, ripping it from my throat. In my hand sat a collar. A. Fucking. Collar. My ears weren’t ringing, it was the bell on the collar the entire time. I was drowning in my thoughts when The entire cage rattled, as someone else shook it. I snapped my head up and was greeted with Art's smiling face. He lifted up the top of the cage, revealing the door. His face slowly morphed into frown as he looked at my face, then my neck, and finally to the collar in my hand. He held out a finger initiating to give him a minute and closed the cage. Prancing over to the table I saw him pull a thin sparkling string up and hold it close to himself. After finagling with it for a moment, he walked back over, and completely flipped the top of the cage open. He held out his hand, dangling there was a necklace with a heart dog tag. It read “Arts pet”.

#art the clown #terrifier 2 #david howard thornton #terrifier movie #horrorwhores #slashers #slash fic #Art fan fiction #art the clown x reader #terrifier x reader #scary movies

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havin-a-wee · 4 years ago

Text

If Only She Knew

pairing: dad!harry x cheerleader!reader

word count: 4.2k

warnings: smut (fingering + unprotected sex), cheerleading position implies readers weight, 20 year age gap

hi! ive been having some really bad writers block but i wrote this and even though its def not my best work i like it enough to post it :) also, i totally didn't mean to imply the readers weight, i only realized afterwards, so im really sorry about that. also the age gap is kinda big, so if ur uncomfy with that you shouldn't read this <3

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY

“Geez watch where you’re going!”

You don’t even look up at the girl, recognizing her nasally voice easily from how annoying it is. You were nose deep in a book while walking down the school hallway, and of course your worst enemy had to be walking down the same hallway, at the same time, in the opposite direction. You are both at fault for the collision, considering Ella had her eyes locked on her instagram feed. But knowing the girl, there is no way in hell that she will take any responsibility, even though you are the one who has coffee dripping down the front of your white blouse.

Since middle school, Ella Styles has always hated you. You have never known why, but she seems to have a vendetta against you, and tries her best to make your life miserable. You never let her, always refraining from giving her the explosive reaction that she was looking for. And that makes her hate you even more.

High school is over in 2 months, and although you are going to miss the freedom of being a child, you most definitely won’t miss the people from the tiny town you’ve lived in since you were young. You’ve always been the type of person to have a small friend group, only 4 people in your circle. But that’s how you like it, because crippling social anxiety makes it difficult for you to meet new people.

“I- sorry.” You still don’t look at her, instead peeling the soaking wet top off of your stomach.

“You better be sorry.” She flips her blonde hair, ensuring that the fluffy locks hit you right in the face. You are lucky this time seeing as she didn’t take it further, because sometimes she would purposely embarrass you after small incidents such as this one.

Tears well at your waterline and you run into the nearest bathroom, pushing open the blue door and locking yourself in a stall.

After all these years of torment, Ella rarely was able to get to you. But sometimes, she does something that pushes you off the edge, leaving you with red, tear-stained cheeks. The final straw this time was her ruining your brand new shirt, the one you were anxiously waiting to debut at school.

But now there was coffee dripping down your chest and staining the bright white fabric. Your only saving grace is the cheerleading uniform in your backpack. In fact, you were walking to the locker room to change for practice, and then for the game at 6 tonight.

You had been excited for the game, knowing that Friday night games always led to parties and fun afterwards. You rarely go to parties of course, but the buzzing energy never fails to rub off on you. But now that stupid Ella had to go and mess up your day, you’re dreading seeing her smug face while she asserts her dominance as cheer captain.

You untie your top and rip it off in a haste, frustrated tears running down your face periodically. You could’ve put a jacket on and gone to the locker room, but Ella would be going there soon, and the last thing you want to do is run into her with teary eyes. She can’t know that you let her get to you.

You brush your hands down your uniform, pulling down the skimpy costume and stuffing your old clothes in your backpack. Once out of the stall, you pull your hair up into a high ponytail, reapply your lip gloss and walk back into the hallway, having already done your makeup that morning. You’re happy that it’s a home game today, because the home game uniforms are two pieces and the skirts are smaller than the ones on the away game uniforms. There is a certain someone you are looking to impress, and the way your tits spill out from the top of the outfit will most certainly help you in your mission.

It’s not like you need to impress him, because he’s shown time and time again that he finds you sexy no matter what you wear. And when he doesn’t tell you, he shows you, by pressing his hard on up against your ass after you just woke up, despite your messy hair and bare face.

However, he also loves when you tease him. And that’s exactly what you’re planning to do.

You sling your heavy backpack over one shoulder and trudge down the hallway, the old fluorescent lights practically blinding you on your journey. The locker room is dingy, smelling of cheap soap and Victoria’s Secret perfume. At least it doesn’t smell like the boys locker room, which smells like sweat and more sweat.

It's already bustling with people, your teammates scrambling to get ready in time as to not get yelled at by the coach.

“Y/N!” The familiar shout of your best friend Rose is like a breath of fresh air, and you bound over to her. She’s standing in front of your lockers, the two of you obviously picking ones next to each other. “Wait, why are you already changed?”

“The bitch spilled her coffee all over me,” you grumbled, your eyes shifting over to where Ella and her little goons are giggling.

“I keep telling you, anytime you want me to beat her up I will gladly do it.”

“Not that I doubt your abilities Rose, because I know you would have her on the ground in a heartbeat, but I can’t let you do that. She can’t know that she upsets me.” You lower your voice for the second sentence, irrationally fearing that she can hear you over the loud chatter echoing through the room.

“I still think you should let me beat her up, but you do you I guess.” Rose shrugged her shoulders and turned back to her locker, bursting out into laughter with you after a beat of silence.

The rest of the getting ready process goes smoothly, Rose distracting you from the girl side-eyeing you in the corner. Soon enough, the whole squad was in formation outside, and you have your hands on the shoulders of Rose and another girl named Bethany. You are a flyer, meaning that you’re the one who the bases support while you pose and flip in the air. Its a hard job, but you are one of only three girls on the team who is advanced enough at flying to be safe doing it in routines. One of the other three girls is Ella.

Ella is the flyer for the middle group, seeing as she is the captain. You are on the right and the other group is on the left. Luckily, Rose is a base in your group, so you feel a lot better putting your safety in the hands of someone you already trust with your life.

“ELLA! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” Coach Habbiths voice is piercing, her angry shrieks bouncing off your ear drums. Ella audibly huffs, displaying her frustration with the critiques she has been receiving since we learned the routine weeks ago. That’s one of the biggest problems with Ella, she believes that she's always right.

Every single practice she has done a needle instead of a scale at the end of the routine. It's aggravating for everyone, and that frustration is amplified everytime she makes the same mistake over and over. “Alright, everyone down. group 1 and group 3 take five, Ella and group 2 stay on the field.

The team obliged to her instructions, and you are brought down from the air.

“Okay Ella, I want you to watch how Y/N does the last move, because she’s actually doing it correctly.” Coach is standing in front of you now, and she emphasized the word ‘correctly’. This is much to Ella’s dismay, and much to your excitement.

Nothing brings you more joy than seeing Ella’s face when you one up her, and this time is no exception.

Aside from a few eye rolls and nasty looks, Ella corrects the move without much fuss. By now there's 15 minutes until the game, and the players have been warming up on the field for about half an hour.

“Did you see her face!” Rose tugs on your arm while you walk back to the locker room, water bottles in hand.

“I know! I should’ve taken a picture!”

“We can only hope that it knocked her ego down a peg.”

“I doubt it” Rose nodded in agreement and you continued your chatter, talking about the random things that best friends talk about.

“It’s go time ladies!” You jumped in surprise when Coach Habbiths yelling booms through the locker room, the hefty amount of metal in the room enhancing the echo.

In a blur, your entire team rushed out onto the field, the crisp air cooling your warmed skin. There was a huge crowd. probably the biggest the teams ever had. But that makes sense, because this game was against your school's biggest rival. Luckily, despite the huge crowd you were able to lock eyes with those piercing green irises you have gotten to know so well over the past couple months. Everytime you see him he gets more and more attractive, and this time is no exception.

At this point, the teams routine is muscle memory and you’re done with it before you can blink. Most people would think that being thrown in the air is memorable, but your main concern is the growing wet patch on your panties that spreads each time you squeeze your thighs together. Just the thought of the man is enough to turn you on, and now that you’re sitting on the cold metal bench your imagination has time to go wild.

The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the eruption of appaulause from the audience, and the realization that the other cheerleaders were standing up and running towards the players. You breath out a sigh of relief, recognizing the cheering as a signal that the game has ended.

“Hey, you coming?” Rose tugs on your arm, looking down at you still on the bench.

“Um, actually I don’t feel so well, I think I’m going to go home.”

“I should’ve known. You know, one day you’re going to have to go to a party.” Rose places her hands on her hips, giving you a sarcastically annoyed stare.

“And today is not that day.” You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder, turning back to Rose for a second. “Have fun and be safe.”

“I always do.” Rose places a chaste kiss on your cheek before turning back to the gathering crowd on the turf.

Instead of heading to the sidewalk and walking home, you duck under the bleachers and walk down the gravel path, pushing open the fence that separates the field and the school. The contents of your backpack slosh around while you sway your hips as you walk. Finally, you make it to the back wall of the school, leaning your back against it and plopping your heavy backpack down by your feet.

And now you wait.

Much to your convenience, the wait this time isn’t long, only five minutes passing before you see the familiar man following the same path you did earlier.

He has a pair of brown slacks on, pressing against his waist courtesy of his black belt. A button up white shirt hides the tattoos on his stomach, but he's rolling up his sleeves as he walks over to you. He's walking with intention, hungry eyes zeroed in on you.

When he’s only steps away, you cheekily bite your lip and use your finger to push up your skirt a little bit more.

Your actions have the intended effect, his eyes blowing wide and hands grasping at your waist.

“Y’can’t do that.”

Before you have a chance to ask what he means, his lips collide with yours, his tongue slipping in only moments after the initial kiss. But as soon as he started, he pulls away.

“Y’can’t be teasing me on the field like tha’, had me hard next t’my friends.” His hand is on the wall above your head, and his other arm is wrapped around your waist pulling you into his chest. He’s panting, and you are too.

“Sorry Mr. Styles,” you push your bottom lip out in a pout, giving him the most innocent look possible. “Just wanted to wear it cause I know how much you like it.”

“Aw, my babygirl wore this f’me? Well I guess y’can be forgiven. Now let’s get t’my house before I fuck yeh right on this wall.” He places a soft kiss to your lips picking up your backpack from the floor and turning to the direction of his car.

“But it hurts!” He turns around again, giving you a sympathetic look and caressing your cheek. The rings on his fingers are cold, but you’re used to the feeling.

“I know sweet girl, but I can’t take care of yeh here, s’too risky.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of a solution to your not so little problem. “How bout I give y’my fingers in the car? Hows that sound hm?” You nod eagerly, pulling his hand down from your cheek and holding it. He takes the signal and begins walking to his car while you follow him.

You never planned to sleep with your bullies dad. But a few months ago your parents dragged you to a family friends housewarming party, and that friend happened to be a friend of Harry’s too. There were no other teenagers there, so your focus was on the attractive older man who had been checking you out since you first locked eyes, and after ending up in the upstairs bathroom together the two of you have been fucking at least twice a week. You only learned that he’s a dad when you saw him for the first time outside the party. He didn’t look the part, and you actually thought he was in his 20s until he corrected you. He’s 38, having become a parent at only 20 years old. Your relationship is a bit taboo, but you’re a mature 18 year old and you and Harry get along well. So well that your time together has developed from casual sex to a mutually exclusive relationship. (Neither of you like labels, but you’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend).

He makes you really happy, and when you have to face off against Ella, it helps knowing that you have power over her, even though she doesn’t know it.

“Did she do anything today?” Harry is walking beside you, hands still intertwined.

“Besides spilling coffee on my shirt, nothing much.” Harry sighs in frustration and squeezes your hand as a show of affection.

“M’so sorry, I wish y’didn’t ‘ave to deal with her.”

The thing about Harry and Ella is they can barely be considered family. Ella’s mom is, for lack of a better word, a bitch. She’s snobby, conceited, and rude, and those behaviors have rubbed off on Ella. Another thing that rubbed off on her was her mom’s hatred for Harry. Being young parents put strain on their already struggling relationship, and they split before Ella’s first birthday. Harry said he tried his best to make it work for Ella’s sake, but her mom was looking for someone to pay for her life, and Harry had just started working his way up as a businessman.

Now, he’s a CEO, but luckily Ella’s mom already found a new beau with plenty of money, so she didn’t come crawling back to him. However, the success Harry achieved only a few years after their breakup made her jealous, and so she instilled that anger in their daughter. So currently Ella spends most of her time with her mother, and when she is with Harry she doesn’t treat him kindly.

“It’s not your fault Harry, you don’t have to apologize for her actions.”

“I know, I jus’ hate tha’ she treats yeh like that.” He sighs again, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys. In a few more steps you’re standing outside the sleek black suv, walking around to the passenger seat and sliding in once you hear the click of the door unlocking.

You both take a few seconds to breathe, an unspoken gesture to prepare for the night's events. Harry turns to you, a sexy smirk plastered on his face. “What d’ya think about fixin’ that ache darlin?” You nod eagerly, sliding down a bit in your seat to give your legs room to spread. “Think yeh can take off y’skirt fo’me?” Your head bobs once again as you nod, hooking your fingers under the elastic waistband and shimmying out of the skirt. While you’re doing that, Harry turns the car into the deserted street, using only one hand to steer.

You toss the tiny skirt into his lap, giving him a signal without distracting his eyes from the road. He reacts immediately, his free hand coming down to squeeze your thigh. You mewl at the contact and bite down on your lip, trying to stop your hips from bucking up in search of relief. His squeezes move up your thigh, and finally his fingers press against your weeping cunt. Swiftly, he pushes your soiled panties to the side, swiping his fingers up your folds collecting your juices. You shriek and buck your hips up into his hand, but much to your dismay he removes it from between your thighs. The car comes to a stop at a red light, and Harry takes the moment to look at you, his eyes wandering your squirming body. He’s practically drooling when he places his fingers in his mouth, tasting your sweet wetness.

“Sorry pup, jus’ needed t’taste yeh.” He chuckles again, and you whine softly in desperation. In one quick motion, he dives his hand back to your pussy, pressing his thumb on your swollen clit.

“Fuck!” The pleasure shoots up your spine, goosebumps raising across your body as he rubs circles on the puffy button. “Harry- please,”

“What d’ya want puppy? Want m’fingers?”

“Yes, yes,” you breathe out, words barely comprehensible through your panting.

“Alright, alright, I gotcha.” And with that his two fingers press into you, filling your tight hole perfectly. There is no hesitation before he begins pumping the digits in and out of you and his thumb never lets up on your bundle of nerves. “Such a needy puppy, got yeh soaking f’me from out in the stands hm?” His eyes are still on the road, but you can picture the lust filled eyes that are undoubtedly on his face.

“Get so wet jus- just thinkin’ about you,” you gasp, writhing as his fingers slam in and out of you.

“Yeah? This is my cunt, m’the only one who can make yeh this wet, isn’t tha’ right?”

“Only Harry.” At your confirmation he speeds his hand up, your vision clouding with white spots as the knot building in your stomach grows tighter and tighter.

All of a sudden, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty. “Wha-” You begin to question him but you realize that he’s pulling into his driveway. Instead of complaining, you sit up quickly and unbuckle your seatbelt, pulling your skirt back up your legs to avoid being nude on his front lawn.

As soon as you feel the little jolt your hand yanks on the handle and you hop out of the car. Your brain is fuzzy with need and all you are focused on is alleviating the aching between your thighs. You hear Harry lock the car while you're on the steps, and you turn back to ensure that he’s behind you. And sure enough, he’s hot on your trail, just as eager as you to get inside and onto his bed. Your foot is tapping on the ground anxiously, waiting for Harry to unlock the front door. After what seems like an hour, he is next to you again, fumbling with the silver keychain in his hand, eventually unlocking and pushing open the door. You both practically run inside, hands roaming each other's bodies and lips locking as you shuffle through the hall.

You disconnect breathlessly when you reach the stairs, subconsciously wrapping your hands around Harry’s neck so he can pick you up bridal style. He does so hastily, barely a second passing before he’s plopping you onto the fluffy mattress. “Finally,” he pants, hands fumbling with his belt buckle. There’s a prominent bulge in his trousers, and although you’ve seen it plenty, you are always in awe at how thick and big he is. While he’s busy removing his clothes, you are practically drooling at the sight of his bare cock, full, heavy, and dripping precome.

“Harry?”

He looks back down at you with his emerald green eyes, simultaneously dropping his recently-removed shirt on the floor. “Can I ride you?” The look he gives you is indescribable, a mixture of need, lust, cockiness, and beauty all rolled up into one.

“Whatever y’want puppy,” His hands scoop under your ass, and he lifts you up and switches your positions. Now it’s your turn to undress, and Harry makes himself busy by running his hands up and down your torso. “So gorgeous, y’know that?” You nod quickly then pull your shirt off of your head. “Most beautiful girl in the world I reckon.” You blush at the compliment, butterflies being added to the many sensations occuring in your body. You straddle his thighs, wrapping your hand around his length and tugging a few times. A loud groan rumbles through his throat, and you smile knowing you’re the one who made him feel like that. “Thought- thought yeh said y’wanted to ride me pup.”

“I do.” You keep your hand on his cock, sitting up on your knees and lining him up with your weeping cunt. All at once, your body is put at ease as his cock fills you up perfectly. He bottoms out inside of you, both of you moaning and groaning while you adjust. “So big-” Your words come out in choppy pants, the syllables being cut off by your heaves. You suck in one deep breath and move upwards, sinking back down onto him quickly. His large hands hold a tight grip on your waist, guiding you up and down his member. His lips attach to your neck, suckling on the supple skin just enough so that it doesn’t bruise.

“What a dirty little puppy you are,” he growls, eyes focusing heavily on where your bodies connect, watching himself disappear inside of you as you bounce up and down on his cock.

“Feel so full-” Tingles ricochet down every part of your body, and your legs are becoming weaker with each movement. Harry can feel your movement faltering, so his hips thrust upwards to meet yours, fucking you from underneath. “Harry!”

“I know pup, I know.” His thumb strokes your cheek and he leans in for another kiss, devouring your plump lips and swirling his tongue around yours. “So fuckin tight,” The words tumble from his mouth in a low growl, which sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. His cock twitches inside of you, encouraging you to muster all your energy and finish both of you off. Adrenaline kicks in and your strength returns, riding him faster and harder than before. “Let go f’me Y/N.” It only takes a few more thrusts for you to come undone, Harry’s orgasm following suit. The waves of pleasure roll through your body, and you throw your head back in ecstasy as you allow the feeling to overcome your body. Spurts of his hot cum cover your velvety walls and you ride out your orgasms together, resting your foreheads against one another.

You end up sleeping at his house, feeling safe knowing that Ella is staying with her mom today. It’s normal for you to sleep at his place, seeing as both of you are usually so tired that you pass out before you can leave. What isn’t normal is for you to be woken up in the morning by Harry’s phone ringing. Harry is a deep sleeper, and you laugh at the sight of him conked out while his ringtone blares on the nightstand just a few inches away. Carefully, you reach over his sleeping body and grab the phone, planning on hanging it up and going back to bed. However, when you saw that it was Ella calling, you changed your mind. Making a split second decision, you slide the icon to the right, holding it up to your ear.

“Hello?” Her whiney voice rings through your eardrum and you wince. Not the nicest thing to be woken up to.

“Hello,” you answer, your voice not reflecting the cocky grin that spread across your face.

“Who the hell is this!” she shrieks, and you make a mental note that she must not be a morning person.

“A friend of your dads.” Your response is once again calm and monotone, trying to stifle the laugh that is bubbling in your throat.

“Ugh! What’s your name?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N”

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theriu · 2 months ago

Text

PART 2

Another fun part about your body resetting with each time loop is that the whole "skipping the sleeping hours" part doesn't take a toll. Sometimes I'll take a loop off (after my morning no-coffee latte and Protagonist snoop) and nap the day away, but it isn't necessary. That's the main reason I do it—I'm a little paranoid of what my sleep schedule will be like when the Problem gets solved if I'm out of practice with sleeping. Thank the Lord I wasn't particularly groggy that first Tuesday. It would be miserable going through dozens of days in a mental fog.

When I walk into the cafe and greet Claudia behind the counter, I'm not too surprised to see the Protagonists there earlier than usual. I've noticed they do that sometimes when they've had a particularly frustrating previous loop. It's no problem for me; I follow my routine, ordering the same drink and breakfast sandwich, going to my usual table under the huge painting of an Italian cafe, and setting up my laptop. I don't even have to worry about pretending to ignore them, because they're talking just loud enough that anyone might look over in interest.

"I can't believe we got the cops called on us," the brunette groans over her espresso. I think she's the oldest of the group, maybe early 40's? She has a slight Spanish accent.

"I can," Nasa qips. "We broke a window in broad daylight."

"It's not like we could wait until nightfall!" she rejoins. "What kind of stupid time loop is only twelve hours long?"

"At least it's not the other way," Jessica offers, a grimace creasing her round nose. She's likely the youngest, looks to be in her early 20s. "I don't think I could stand it if we only saw daylight for a couple of hours every time."

The grumbler heaves a sigh. "Stop pointing out the silver lining, Jess, it's ruining my bad mood."

"Nothing could ruin your bad moods, Martina," Nasa says with a grin. "It'd be like snuffing a fusion reactor."

Martina, ha! Got another one!

The one remaining member whose name I haven't gleaned breaks in, his face as serious as ever. "That's enough, guys. We're drawing attention." He's older than Nasa but younger than Martina. His broody eyes dart towards me, and I pretend to focus back on my computer. "Let's get into today's plan. I still think the Rite Aid is worth investigating..."

His voice lowers until it's hard to make out anymore, and the others follow his lead. Well, that was nice while it lasted! Keeping one ear cocked for any interesting tidbits, I turned my eyes back to my laptop.

Maybe you're wondering why I don't let on to the Protagonists that I'm also aware of the time loop. Well, first of all, it would just be awkward at this point. How do you walk up to people and be like, "Hey, I've been lurking in the background of your sci-fi adventure for the last three weeks, thought I should finally introduce myself"? Great way to out myself as a weirdo.

But there's also the fact that I don't really want to get dragged into their quest. Once you reveal that you're one of a select few who are self-aware in a perpetual time loop, you can't really peace out after that. They'll expect me to help. Especially whats-his-face, the leader guy; I have not seen him crack a single smile since I noticed he was aware. He's like a military commander. He's the one I keep expecting to notice I'm not perfectly duplicating my own actions every day.

I mean, I guess I could just avoid where I know they're going to be, but that seems like a lot of work, and how would I get updates on their progress? Obviously I hope they figure this thing out eventually. But the point is, there's already FOUR of them working the problem, and I doubt I could contribute significantly. I'd much rather continue my established cycle of self-improvement and keep a casual eye out for clues on my own than endure the stress and/or judgemental glares that seem to be the only possible outcomes of revealing myself.

So, yeah. I spend the next hour half-listening to the Protagonists arguing and planning while I binge another serial webcomic. It's really too bad you can't take notes in a time loop; I'm going to have a time of it trying to remember the names of all the good series I've dug up. Knowing that I can't expect any of them to update until a week after the indefinite time loop ends is also a bit of a bummer.

I head out shortly after the Protagonists take their leave. Naturally, my first stop is the Mexican grocery, where I grab a container of candy sticks called Tamarrico. "Hola," I say to Francisco in slightly less halting Spanish. "Estas saben bien?"

"Ah, si, si! Es una de mis favoritas," he replies, a big grin spreading over his face. I grin back as I pay, knowing he says that about any candy I bring to the counter. He's a friendly guy, and what do I know? Maybe they really are all his favorites.

"Gracias! Hasta manana," I reply with a wave. I hurry out the door to hide my grin at the confusion that flits over his face. Okay, so it'll still be Tuesday when I see him again, but hey, it'll be "tomorrow" for me.

The Protagonists are barely visible around the back of the RiteAid, probably trying to jimmy the lock on the fire entrance. I quickly check my watch; shoot, it's half an hour earlier than when I came out yesterday! But none of them are looking my way, not even Jessica, so I hurry on down the street and gamble on her not noticing my no-show at the appointed time.

Every other loop, I try to find a new spot to visit. I've explored all the open shops on Main Street twice over, and even braved walking into the insurance building despite having no need for insurance. I've just always wondered what the interior design looks like. (Blue carpet, boring office pictures, a surprising toy cat.) Today, I wander around in a little hole-in-the-wall thrift store. I end up buying a ridiculous hat that I wear proudly back out into the street.

I take a detour to buy snacks at Mister Maxx, a little store that sells bulk food items that are past their expiration date for cheap. (Don't flip out, it's perfectly safe. Plus you get a lot of variety!) I shove some canned smoke salmon into my satchel alongside the Tamarrico container, then it's on down the street to the library for another afternoon of hitting the books.

I've noticed I can get slightly different responses from the librarians depending on when I come by and what I'm carrying. Maj is my 2:00 librarian, and she starts to beam her usual welcoming smile but stops short at the sight of my neon-yellow sunhat. I think she enters a stare-off with the rubber duck nestled on the front brim. Her lips twitch, and she barely manages a welcoming nod to me before she has to turn away quickly, both hands trying to stifle the laughter shaking her shoulders.

I grin. That was an even better reaction than I'd hoped! I'll have to try this out for Janice at 3:00 next loop.

The afternoon slips away between Spanish studies and origami practice. (They don't have the perfectly square papers here, but I make do with cut-up printer paper from the library's copy center.) There's something really peaceful about being in a library. No loud noises, no shouting, no expectations I'll have to buy something. With a library at hand, I could spend years in a time loop without running out of new materials.

Do I want that? Years of the same repeated day? The question niggles at me, making me crease a fold wrong. I shake it off as quickly as I can, though. Surely the Protagonists will figure things out before that becomes an actual question to worry over.

I almost lose track of time, until I hear Librarian George making the rounds to announce closing time is imminent. I bolt to my feet, checking my phone as I abandon my misshapen paper frogs. Crap! I can't be late! Someone calls after me, probably to say not to run in the library, but I skid around the few corners between me and the door and burst out into the lowering sunlight.

I almost don't make it in time. Kevin is two steps onto the crosswalk when I pelt up, grab him by the collar, and dive us both back towards the sidewalk. He yells, I yell, the truck roars by honking loudly, he yells again. There is a mad scramble of limbs as me and the older guy struggle to sort ourselves out. I get up first and help him to his feet. "Are you okay?!" It would be pretty rotten if I broke his hip or something.

He sways shakily, feeling himself over. I pick up his glasses and he ever-so-carefully puts them on, peering at me, then the truck speeding into the distance. His eyes are bright with shock and moisture as he looks at me again. "Young lady, you just saved my life."

I almost blurt an apology for being late, but my better senses catch up and do a similar dive-tackle on my tongue. Instead I smile, a little shaky myself, and put a hand on his arm. "Lets get across this road and you can thank me with a Speedway hot chocolate."

His mouth quirks up, and he barks a laugh. "How did you know my favorite?" That shouldn't have startled me, but I'm off-kilter enough that I actually miss a step. Kevin apologizes profusely, thinking he tripped me somehow.

By the time we make it to our usual spot, I'm feeling much more stable. That had been too close. I need to keep better track of the time in future loops.

Maybe it seems unnecessary, me worrying about stopping an event when it will just be erased barely an hour after the fact. I could just leave the library early, skip the whole thing, right?

Wrong, for two reasons. First, it's easy to joke about being hit by a truck. But have you actually seen what it's like? The damage? I have, after seeing it happen to Kevin. He was still alive when the ambulance came, but by how much, I couldn't have guessed.

The thought of just letting that happen to someone... knowing the exact minute he is being hit and ignoring it because I can't be bothered to save his life...somehow, it just doesn't matter if the whole thing will be undone and forgotten shortly after it happens.

The other reason should be obvious. Since I don't know what's caused the time loop, I don't know what will end it. I can't risk the chance that the loop I decide to skip saving Kevin will be the final one where the Protagonists fix everything. I can't take that gamble with his life.

So I sit with Kevin, and we share bland gas station hot chocolate (seriously, why does he like this stuff), and I make a large mental note with a lot of exclamation points and underlining to make sure I'm out here early in future loops. By the time he's told me about his dogs Rusty and Pogo and their penchant for climbing each other to get over the yard fence like canine escape artists, I'm feeling much calmer. It's okay, I didn't mess up too badly. Everything is as it should be.

Well, as it should be within the scope of an inexplicable infinite time loop, anyway.

Kevin's alarm goes off, and he jumps to his feet. "For Pete’s sake, I’m late! Sorry, Miss Jackie, I have to run. You’re sure I can’t offer you a reward of some kind for what you did?”

I tip my still-half-full cup of hot chocolate to him. "Just knowing you're safe and getting to chat with you like this is plenty enough reward."

"You're a real blessing, miss," he says warmly as he shakes my hand. He says that line sometimes when my rescue efforts cut it a bit too close, and I shoot a prayer up that I won't give him a reason to say it again. But it's still nice to hear.

He hurries away, and I decide to walk down the street towards home this time instead of chilling at the Speedway. The air is pleasantly balmy with the setting sun, cool but not cold, a soft breeze washing away the remnants of the day's heat from the pavement. I drink in that air and let it out again slowly. By the time I reach my front porch, I'm feeling all settled and content, and I wave a hand at the few stars. It feels so refreshing to be able to slow down and really appreciate the beauty of this pleasant evening.

With a glance at my phone to note the time, I walk up the front steps and start to reach for the doorknob. Let's see if I can get the timing right this go-round. My hand closes around the knob, and I close my eyes, holding my breath. A few moments pass, longer than I was hoping, and then the popping, fizzling sensation comes and there's a new brightness past my eyelids. I'm opening my eyes from a blink, and it's a bright, sunny morning. My hand is on the knob, having just closed it on my way out before this all began.

Darn! Five seconds off. I'm getting closer to a perfect time loop transition, though! I grin to myself, release the doorknob, and turn around to head back to the cafe for a fresh new Tuesday.

someone should write a story where there’s ppl stuck in a time loop, but the pov is from someone who rlly doesn’t care. there’s a whole ‘protagonist group’ or whatever trying to figure out how to escape the loop but this dude has just kept living their life so no one has noticed that they’re also stuck. they’re just sipping the exact same coffee order for the hundredth time watching the group strategize at an adjacent table and thinkin “man, wonder if they’re gonna figure out how to fix that today.”

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