#we had a talk with my parents and a neutral teacher afterwards but like

[lunavagans]

One of the worst things to ever happen to me because fuck it, I need to vent:

My german teacher once accused me of plagiarism on an assignment when I was in 10th grade. It wasn‘t graded and during the lockdown, so I spent a lot of time on it out of boredom. It still makes me feel kind of sad and betrayed. I liked her before that. And she didn‘t even explain why she thought I got my parents to write it for me. She didn’t even make sure that it was in private, other classmates heard it. The only person I‘ll ever unironically call bitch tbh. Still kinda fucks me up, and it‘s been years.

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Anonymous

Published: Feb 8, 2023

• An anonymous student speaks out about transgender ideology in her school  • The student, aged 14, attends a state secondary school in South-East England • Claimed teachers say Lady Macbeth non-binary and girls wear breast binders

She’s 14 and attends a co-educational state secondary in South-East England — where she says one in ten children in her year identifies as trans or non-binary. After becoming increasingly upset by the school’s acceptance of transgender ideology, this female student has decided to expose the truth about life in an ongoing culture war.

The other day, I went to the school office to get a new copy of the timetable. The teacher I spoke to used ‘they/them’ pronouns about me, asking another member of staff, ‘they have lost their timetable, can they have a new one?’

He knows me really well and it’s clear that I’m a girl. I felt furious he didn’t just say ‘she’. But it’s not just the odd teacher here or there; I am regularly asked if I am in the process of transitioning.

There is a gender-neutral uniform policy at school and lots of the girls wear trousers. Those of us that do are often asked if we are transgender, especially if we have short hair, as I do.

The fact a girl likes playing video games, or doesn’t like feminine clothes or make-up is enough to be seen as potentially trans. When my mum complained about me being called ‘they’, the teacher apologised but explained he was being cautious in case I was transitioning. He said the teachers are treading on eggshells, scared of being labelled transphobic.

It feels like trans is all anyone talks about. The library has a section devoted to LGBTQQIA+ books and there is a display for Pride in the school entrance, with rainbow flags and words and terms such as ‘non-binary‘, ‘polysexual’, ‘demiboy’, ‘demigirl’ and ‘pansexual’. These words come up in lessons, too. I’m now in Year 10, and the other day a girl in my English class asked if the Greek god Zeus was a man or a woman and the teacher replied that Zeus could have ‘identified as non-binary’.

More recently another teacher said Lady Macbeth was ‘neither a man nor a woman’. I think most parents will have no clue this is what their kids are being taught.

So I’m glad the Education Secretary Gillian Keegan is set to tell schools they must be more open about their handling of trans issues. I would be too scared to say this at school, though. I would lose my friends if I did, as they’re completely intolerant of anything they think is transphobic.

That’s what made me decide to speak out here — without giving my real name.

When I started at my secondary school four years ago, I didn’t even know what ‘transgender’ meant. It hadn’t been talked about in primary school or at home. But within days, we were told by a teacher in our PSHE (personal, social, health and economic education) class that we would be seen as ‘transphobic’ if we used any of the ‘offensive words’ from a long list, which included ‘gender bender’ and ‘butch’.

I had no idea what transphobic meant, but I could tell it was definitely something I didn’t want to be seen as. At that age, when you are told something at school you just believe it. We trusted that what the teachers told us was true. 

But I did ask my mum about it later. She is a feminist and is critical of students being dictated to. She said that often it depends how you use words — that people within queer communities have used ‘gender bender’ as a positive way to describe themselves and that ‘butch’ is used by lesbians to describe other lesbians who are quite masculine in appearance.

While still in my first year, 11-year-old girls in my class began asking to be called ‘he’ or ‘them’.

Soon afterwards a number of others were doing the same. It felt as if they joined in because it meant they were seen as cool.

You get special treatment if you say you are trans or non-binary and suddenly become the centre of attention when you ‘come out’.

As soon as a girl says she is a boy, her name is changed on the school register and students are told to use their chosen boy’s name.

Now, out of 200 students in my year, at least 20 say they’re trans — almost all are girls claiming to be boys or non-binary. Although there is one boy saying he’s a girl, this really is largely about girls saying they are boys. The kids in my year don’t say they are lesbian or gay, because those words are thought to be an insult.

There is a straight boy going out with a straight girl who says she is trans, so he now has to say that he’s bisexual. It’s often said by my schoolmates that trans girls are ‘better’ girls than ‘other girls’. I find this insulting. But the teachers don’t take any action even if they do hear conversations like this.

Recently, I was watching a news item with friends about the changes to the Gender Recognition Act in Scotland and every time a guest on the programme said, ‘this is a threat to sex-based rights’, my friends were sneering and laughing. It made me feel as though girls have no rights and are not respected in my school.

There is constant talk of transphobia and bigotry and many of the students who say they are trans constantly talk about being ‘victims’, with anyone who isn’t trans being the perpetrator.

Coming out as a lesbian or gay doesn’t have the same effect, but barely any students do, in my experience.

My friend Kelley* was ‘affirmed’ [accepted without question] as a boy in Year 7. She has serious mental health issues and is regularly off school as she self-harms.

Kelley socially transitioned without any teacher challenging her. She has a new name and can now use the boys’ changing rooms. All my friends pretty much believe in ‘gender identity’. Girls and boys are referred to by teachers and students as ‘assigned female at birth’ or ‘assigned male at birth’. This is shortened to AFAB and AMAB.

There is also confusing language such as the word for being attracted to non-binary people, ‘skoliosexual’. I find it ridiculous — but can’t say that.

There is a lot of breast-binding going on, too, but we don’t know who might be on puberty blockers because no one talks about that. One trans-identified girl wants to get a breast binder, but was complaining that her parents would not want her to.

I joined the Equalities Club because I believe in equal rights for all, then found it was impossible to talk about any group, other than trans people, that was discriminated against. There’s a rule against wearing badges in school but some students wear trans flag and pronoun badges and nobody tells them off.

Recently, a group of us were watching Prime Minister’s Questions and when MPs talked about maternity care, using the terms ‘birthing partner’ and ‘non-birthing partner’, I wondered out loud why they didn’t just say ‘mother’.

I was told off by a friend who said that not everyone with a cervix is a woman. I didn’t want to disagree because I knew what would happen — I would be publicly humiliated.

Until now, I’ve just gone along with most of it. But there are some things I can’t leave alone. For example, I really like J. K. Rowling but she was called a ‘TERF’ (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist) by a friend, who said she was heartbroken to hear that J.K. was ‘anti-trans’.

I asked in what way J.K. was transphobic but this friend couldn’t give me an answer, she just said: ‘I hope all TERFS drop dead.’ I was shocked by her anger.

There have also been violent comments on social media towards ‘transphobes’ with students from the school threatening to strangle them.

That’s why I’m writing this piece anonymously, although I believe I should be able to say these things without fear of attack. I want adults to know what it’s really like in schools like mine now.

*Names have been changed.

==

This confusion, this uncertainty isn't a bug of Queer Theory, it's the explicitly stated intent. When nobody can trust anything about the world, they can't know whether to oppress you or to give you the privileges associated with being an oppressor. No more "systemic" oppression. One of the big problems is that this constantly questioning your own perceptions is a tactic of Malignant Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It's no wonder it attracts narcissists.

https://segm.org/England-ends-gender-affirming-care

The new NHS guidance recognizes social transition as a form of psychosocial intervention and not a neutral act, as it may have significant effects on psychological functioning. The NHS strongly discourages social transition in children, and clarifies that social transition in adolescents should only be pursued in order to alleviate or prevent clinically-significant distress or significant impairment in social functioning, and following an explicit informed consent process.

It's Psych 101 that affirmation solidifies belief, because it wires the amygdala to accept the belief as reality. If you keep telling someone "yes, you are a victim, the world is out to get you," they'll become helpless and incapable. If a therapist actually recommended affirmation therapy for those with anorexia nervosa - "if you think you're overweight, you must be, since you're the expert on you. In fact, you could probably even stand to lose a few more lbs" - we'd know they were incompetent and dangerous.

https://cutdowntree.substack.com/i/54708841/metaphysics-of-marginalization

If those who are born Black or disabled are the chosen, trans people are the converts who have voluntarily accepted Marginalization. They choose to suffer more from their involuntary embodiment. Because of this, they become virtuous. They are saved.

[oscarswildetiger]

I was tagged by @terryfphanatics to compile a list of 9 movies that I loved, and at first I couldn’t think of one movie, then I had too many and had to edit. So this is just a loosely based list on 9 movies that are definitely at the top of my Movies I love list.

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure! Hands down one of my favorites, while I’ve been decorating my house I’m trying to take inspiration from Graceland and Pee-Wee in every room. This movie is silly and ridiculous. A perfect mashup of camp, Burton, and Danny Elfman. 

I first watched Harold and Maude when I was a junior in High School. Someone else in our drama class had watched it and talked about how funny it was, and afterward I asked my Drama teacher what it was about and the description he gave me was so WILDLY DIFFERENT than what the movie was that when I watched it the first time I was so disappointed. However it’s since grown on me and continues to be one of my favorites to this day. I watch this movie when I’m happy. I watch this movie when I’m sad and grieving. I’ve stood in line on record store day to purchase the soundtrack on vinyl. I try to model my life like Maude even when I find inspiration in Harold. And Vivian Perkins continues to be fashion inspo every day of the week.

Hey so don’t fucking judge me okay. Yes yes, I love Gene Wilder and I love Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory but @terryfphanatics already did that and besides those two movies are bad bitches and we don’t pit bad bitches against each other. I don’t know why so many people HATE this movie, if anything it’s more accurate to the book than the 1971 version (Though lacking in Oscar Wilde quotes) But anyway. I was so excited, this movie came out the height of my Tim Burton and Johnny Depp phase and I went to the midnight showing. It possessed me completely and then I saw it FOUR MORE times in theaters. My friends bought me purple leather silk lined gloves. I bought the velvet jacket, I cut my hair. I wore vests and pinstripe pants to school. I made golden tickets and folded them into king sized candy bars for my 16th birthday and handed them out at school with no explanation. I had never been so popular. Everything at my party was chocolate. Chocolate cups and everything! All my friends gave me Charlie and the Chocolate factory merch. I was living it. I don’t have any complaints about this movie. It’s delightful. I love it all. Don’t come for this movie or I’ll come for you.

Big Trouble in Little China was a movie I was exposed to very young and I only continue to love it more as I get older. I’m in love with Kurt Russell. I quote it all the time. It’s so 80′s and action packed without going over the top with fight scenes like some other john carpenter flicks. I like to use this movie to gauge whether or not I will get along with someone. 

Truth Beauty Freedom Love. Is there anything else to say? I remember when this movie came out my parents wouldn’t let me see it but when I finally got to see it years later it was like I discovered drugs for the first time. I changed my whole room to be french and moulin rouge themed. My friends and I would sing the songs to each other in the stair wells. The music and the costumes are *chef kiss*

When I was little I wanted to change my name to Sally because of this movie. I expect the man I marry to be like Gary Hallet even if I keep chasing after Jimmy Angeloves.  And if I’m lucky I’ll end up like Aunt Francis, she’s really all I ever wanted to be in this world. If you haven’t seen it, take a windy summer night and watch it with the windows open.

Less and less people seem to have seen this gem of a movie. A perfect horror movie set in a neutral setting. Bored suburban neighbors growing increasingly wary of their new neighbors? It’s amazing. Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, and Corey Feldman? Yes please. Again, if you haven’t seen it. Perfect Summer night flick.

This Movie is great on so many levels. I quote it non stop. It had such a big impact on me from when I first saw it at a sleep over. As stupid as Austin Powers but with far more charm. The best thing about this movie is seeing how many cameos there really are. Talk about star studded as well! Ben Stiller, Jerry Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Christine Taylor, and countless cameos including David Bowie in maybe one of the best movie scenes of all time. 

Marissa. Tomei.  I’m gonna go ahead and tag @beardedbarista @hatglasses @impure-lace @pmastamonkmonk @everyonespinkontheinside but no pressure

[waltrp]

NO, DON’T PUSH US AWAY, HIRO. WE’RE HERE FOR YOU

BIDDI BOPPI BOOP A SPECIAL MESSAGE ADMIN ZULEMA: jill my queen, i know how long you’ve wanted to take up this angel and i’m so happy to finally bestow her to you. your sample for haven was amazing. You know this character inside and out. the love and passion you have translated perfectly into your para and i’m so excited to see what you do with her !! also nag me to finish the cast so i can see cute big hero 6 interactions on the dash lmfao. Please refer to THIS PAGE for your next tasks. We can’t wait to roleplay with you. Welcome to our Ohana xx.

It’s a pleasure to meet you…

Jill, 30, eastern, she/her

My favorite color is purple

My favorite super hero is Kate Bishop/Hawkeye

I’ve seen Parks & Rec so many times I can “watch” the show with my eyes closed

No triggers

Are you positive you can be active?

yes indeed

How did you stumble upon Walt?

we go way back

Did you read the rules?

yup!

Are you sure?

Scuttle

Character you want?

Haven Lemos

Please describe the character for us

When Haven was born, her parents said they could have sworn they gave birth to the sun, so bright and cheerful their little one was. Growing up wasn’t easy for Haven—her family immigrated from Cuba to the United States when she was small. Haven doesn’t remember a life in Cuba, but she knows that everything her parents have done was to secure a better life for their children, and because of that Haven has always admired them.

Haven’s formative years were spent in Miami, Florida, which meant that even though she was away from Cuba, she was able to grow up immersed in her culture even outside of her own home. The older she grew, the more responsibilities fell to Haven, but she took every one of them in stride. With parents that were constantly working to make ends meet, Haven spent much of her free time taking care of her siblings. She may have grown up faster than most kids her age, but Haven never let that get to her. Her optimism and sunny disposition were constant. Haven worked as hard as her parents in every thing she did. She wanted to make them proud and wouldn’t take their sacrifices for granted. One day, Haven hoped to take care of them the way they took care of her.

As a child, most of her peers found her to be strange. Haven has always been quirky and unique, and to top it off she was smart and her favorite subject was science. Most of the other kids couldn’t quite relate—their favorite subject was recess, long after recess stopped being a thing. Haven became one of the top students in science for their school district, and graduated with AP courses in biology, physics, and chemistry (her favorite). To Haven, the logical next stop was the prestigious San Fransokyo Institute of Technology. She wanted to attend the school so desperately, but knew that with her family’s financial situation, it was only a dream. But with a push from her chemistry teacher, Haven’s dreams came true: admission and a full scholarship.

At SFIT, Haven truly came into her own. She was surrounded by students similar to herself, and lucky enough to spend every day learning more about the thing she absolutely loved. Chemistry came naturally to the girl, and it wasn’t long before she was conducting her own experiments, hoping to push the subject to new heights, beyond anything the world already knew. The only thing that made the experience better than she could ever imagine was the group of friends she almost suddenly found herself a part of. She couldn’t imagine how she had managed a life without the four of them. She even had a nickname among the group: Honey Lemon. (You’d have to ask Freddy why.)

It didn’t take long for the crush to develop. Tadashi Hamada was her friend and her equal. How could she not fall in love? The friendship blossomed into a full-on mutual flirtation after the two were paired up for a class project. She loved everyone in their group, but Tadashi easily moved from best friend to boyfriend. Not wanting to disrupt the group dynamic, the duo decided it would be best to keep their relationship quiet for now. The transition started slowly, with stolen kisses when no one else was looking, and much more free time dedicated to simply spending time together. They would lie awake for hours in each other’s dorm rooms, talking about science, their lives, and their futures.

Haven and Tadashi never got the chance to make the possibility of a future between the two of them official. Their junior year, Tadashi helped his brother Hiro enter the SFIT school science fair. Haven had heard so much about Hiro, and the whole group was there to support Tadashi’s younger brother. The kid was only 13, but he may have been the smarted thirteen-year-old Haven had ever known. Even at his young age, Hiro would be a perfect fit at SFIT. When a mysterious fire broke loose at the fair, everything changed. Students, faculty, and visitors all evacuated, and not moments after the last person was out of the building, the whole place exploded. When the smoke cleared in the early hours of the morning, one thing was clear:

Tadashi never made it out of the building.

Haven had never imagined heartbreak to feel this way. A piece of her heart was missing, and Haven was sure it would never feel whole again. How do you move on from such a loss? Whatever Haven felt at the loss of Tadashi, she put on a brave face when around her friends. Haven wasn’t going to stop being the ray of sunlight and optimism she’d always been, for all of them, for herself, and especially for Hiro. The young boy had now lost both his parents and his older brother, and with all the love she had for Tadashi, she was going to look after Hiro as much as she could.

With SFIT destroyed, the students were relocated to Elias. The new location helped Haven move on. She graduated from Walt University with top honors and started working toward building the future she’d talked so often about with Tadashi. Now she’s attending graduate school, working part time in a lab, and working as a teaching assistant in the Walt chemistry department. Tadashi is on her mind constantly. But Haven is looking forward to better days.  

Second character choice

n/a

It’s time to see that sample para.

Peach cream smudged cheeks. A thin, careful stroke of liner. Mascara. Waterproof. Uncertainty behind saddened eyes. Hair twisted up into a high bun. The best way to keep it out of her experiments. He’d casually remarked that one day. Still she let wispy bangs hang loose. A generous swipe of neutral toned lipstick. Lips pressed together to distribute the color, and Haven sighed.

Heartbreak wasn’t supposed to happen this way. The love of your life wasn’t supposed to die at twenty-one.

Haven stared at her reflection, and the person staring back at her seemed like a muted version of herself. A neutral face, hair up, black dress, black tights, black everything. Haven fidgeted with the peter pan collar at her neck, the white a stark contrast to everything else. It seemed both so wrong and right at the very same time. She’d never been one to conform, and for that moment she knew that even in his death, Tadashi would be proud. Glasses were carefully replaced to their spot at the bridge of her nose. She’d chosen the translucent pair for this occasion.

A faint drizzle had started as she stepped out from the dorms, and she wondered idly how long the students would be able to stay. There wasn’t exactly a school anymore, but that was a worry for Future Haven. The weather wasn’t a surprise, especially for northern California this time of year, but still it felt appropriate. As if they sky, too, knew of the tragedy they mourned today. Meteorology was a science, after all, and whether they knew it or not, the science community had suffered a great loss.

By the time they reached the cemetery, rain poured from the sky. A fitting welcome, Haven thought, quickly stepping beneath Wyatt’s unfurled umbrella. Hers was a bright pink, a perfect spot of brightness in normal dreary weather, but today that didn’t seem right. Eventually Haven knew she’d put on her bright sunny disposition as often as she could, but right now was a time to let themselves mourn.

The service wasn’t terribly long, expected due to the rain. The plot was near his parents’, and every so often, Haven would look over to glimpse at Hiro. She couldn’t imagine how he was handling things right now. When all was said and done, the group began to disperse, planning to gather afterwards at Aunt Cass’s where friends and family could drink tea and share memories. Their little friend group, now minus a member, lingered, and she’s pretty sure it was Leiko who shoved the umbrella in her hand before they, too, left for the Lucky Cat.

So this was it. Haven Lemos, alone, and Tadashi Hamada’s grave. The plot of grass where he’d lay forever. It wasn’t far from where his parents lay, the three of them at least together again in their final resting place. Haven’s eyes lingered on the headstone, and the hyphen within which Tadashi’s entire life lay. All of his accomplishments, his light, his laughter, his love, her love for him, his brain, his smile, reduced to a punctuation mark, followed by a date past which the two of them would never truly be a couple.

Moments passed until finally Haven knew it was time. Gently she placed her hand atop the marble headstone, caressing it as if she would his face. The ‘I love you’ was implicit; she needn’t speak those three little words aloud. Gathering herself, Haven tightened her grip on the umbrella before heading in the direction of the Lucky Cat Café to meet up with the others at Aunt Cass’s.

This wasn’t the last time she’d see this place.

Anything else, love?

sad breakfast club

[talysings]

LFRP--T’ahlia Chelewae

The Basics –––

Server: Balmung

Age: 29

Birthday: 12th Sunday, First Astral Moon

Race: Miqo'te | Keeper/Seeker Mix

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Lesbian

Alignment: Neutral Good with Lawful Tendencies

Marital Status: Single

 Physical Appearance –––

Hair: White

Eyes: Blue

Height: 5’

Build: Toned, lean in some places, curvy in others

Distinguishing Marks: Small scar on the left shoulder blade; Menphina and Azeyma tattoo (Moon and Sun) on left shoulder

Common Accessories: Delicate neck chain with a jeweled dragonfly on it

 Personal –––

Profession: Writer/Performer | Formerly Scout for Hire

Likes:

·         Performing (Singing, guitar, acting)

·         Writing

·         Fishing

Dislikes:

·         Rude people

·         Garlemald

 Languages:

·         Eorzean (primary)

·         Bits of Miqo’te Huntspeak

Residence: Lavender Beds/Shirogane

Birthplace: Ul’dah

Religion: The Twelve

Patron Deity: Halone

Fears:

·         Being under someone else’s control

·         Writing or performing badly

·         Letting people down

·         Being alone forever

Relationships –––

Spouse: —None

Children: —None

Parents:

·         Rhaya Chelewae, mother (deceased) – A Keeper from the Shroud. Her family were poachers and kidnappers. When driven out for daring to love a Seeker, she fled to Ul’dah. She discovered she was pregnant with T’ahlia on the way there. She rejected her own heritage and raised T’ahlia as a city dweller.

·         T’vett, father (deceased) – T’ahlia only recently discovered that her father had not perished in the Shroud. They reunited very briefly before his death. He left her his company and wealth.

·         Other Relatives: No known living relatives

Pets:

·         Cinnamon, a fox kit.

 Traits –––

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

 Additional information –––

Smoking Habit: None.

Drugs: None.

Alcohol: Drinks, but alcohol to this point has no effect on her.

 RP Hooks –––

·         Performer - You might see her performing at any number of locations, if you enjoy such things. Talk to her afterwards about the show.

·         Learning Guitar? – Taly is starting to teach guitar at the Palazzo Aldenard soon.

·         Business Person Importing Things? – Taly owns a business which exports high quality gemstones out of Meracydia, as well as some fruits and other unique plants.

·         Need a Scout? – Taly is essentially retired from scouting, but maintains her skills and still knows many places well and is a dead shot with a bow. She would need a good reason to become involved.

·         Like to fish? – So does Taly. Like, a lot.

What I’m Looking For –––

·         Friends

·         Performing partners or practice buddies

·         Open to romance, but Taly is not casual. She hopes to find someone long term someday (and I would need to get along well with the player ooc). She is pretty much my only character, so I would not be interested in shipping her with an alt that was rarely in-game.

 Limits –––

·         I don’t like god-moding.

·         Darker rp may be possible, but Taly is not really a dark character, and there are certainly things she wouldn’t be involved with, so you will need to coordinate ooc

·         Casual erp is a no. If you are often trolling the Quicksand, we will not likely rp well together.

·         No permanent damage or death

  ABOUT ME  –––

I am a teacher in the real world, in the Eastern U.S. I love to log in to FFXIV after work. Taly is my main character, and I am almost always playing her. I prefer in-game rp to Discord. I do use Discord extensively for coordination, and ooc discussion with players. I enjoy the PVE side of the game as well if you want to run some content (don’t expect an expert though, I’m a casual player).

Contact Information  –––

In Game: Walk-ups are fine, though a tell as a warning is appreciated. At events, feel free to walk on up without a tell.

 Discord: T'ahlia Chelewae#4374

You may contact me in game, or via Discord.

[wanderingcas]

a timestamp for ‘passing ships’. 1.7k ao3.

It starts happening about a year into their marriage.

At first, people were (politely) hyper-fixated on the fact that Dean and Cas weren’t soulmates. That snagged their attention more than anything else—“Oh, so you’re being progressive and rejecting the soulmate idea? Good for you.”—and despite being annoying the three-hundredth time Dean and Cas were asked, they learned to just laugh it off and provide their quick explanation, scripted down to the letter from how many times they had to repeat it.

But then, that curiosity wore off, which left questions about kids. 

The first time to the question is asked is at the small book signing at Mary’s bookstore. Cas had worked his ass off all week to make sure the small space was accommodating to an audience of twenty and a small deli spread afterwards. Dean would know—he barely saw his husband or mom in the week leading up to it (which of course, he never complained about, because being co-owner of the bookstore with Mary was quickly becoming one of Cas’ passions).

Dean was standing by the drinks, getting lost as usual in staring at Cas across the room, at his wayward-buttoned collared shirt and mussed hair as he talked to the guest author. His reverie was interrupted by an older couple that used to live next to Dean, when he was growing up.

“It’s just so lovely that you’ve gotten yourself married,” Kate—or was it Nancy?—gushed, gesticulating a wrinkled hand toward Cas across the room. “And he’s such a nice man. Richard and I just met him.”

“Yeah, he’s really something,” Dean says with a grin. He practically rocks back and forth on his heels with pride.

“So, when you two thinking of having some kids?” Richard asks.

Dean freezes. “What?”

Kate-Nancy laughs. “We were just asking your husband that same question—he had the same reaction!”

“Uh, we…” Cas is suddenly looking over at Dean; their eyes meet. Cas may not be an angel anymore, but he still possesses this freaky sixth sense when he’s being talked about. Dean licks his lips. “We’ve discussed it,” he says neutrally.

“Ah-ha, that’s what he said too!” Richard proclaims, wagging a finger. “You two are peas in the pod.”

“In a pod, dear,” Kate-Nancy corrects. “Poor dear, native language is Polish. Still not getting American colloquialisms down even after 83 years!”

“Uh-huh,” Dean says distractedly. He takes a long swing of beer and lets the conversation steer elsewhere.

The second time it comes up is at a more casual setting: hanging out with Dean’s coworkers at a bar on the last day of spring semester. Anna even decided to come, which Cas expressed his quiet joy over by bringing her some books to borrow. He didn’t see her much, since she took over Naomi’s position in Heaven.

Dean is squished between Charlie and the new Biology teacher, Jo. They just finished a toast when Jo asks, cheeks tinged from her fourth Sidecar, “So, Dean, when are you and that adorable husband of yours gonna have some kids?”

Although caught in a conversation with Anna, Cas stops and turns his head to look at Dean across the table, his sad eyes meeting Dean's.

“Uh,” Dean begins, intelligently.

“They’re gonna have kids when they want to ,” Charlie yells above the pulsating dance music in the bar. “And they’re gonna be beautiful because it’ll be a half of each of their perfect genes!”

“You know we can’t have kids biologically, right?” Dean mutters, taking a swig of whiskey.

“I’m not that drunk, Dean," Charlie snaps. "There have been advances in the science of genetics. Hell, I’d be your surrogate if you wanted.”

“Awww!” Jo screams, leaning over the both of them, her drink sloshing in Dean’s lap.

“Guys, drop it, okay?” Dean sighs. “That’s me and Cas’ business.” He looks at Cas again, awkwardly, but Cas is already scooting past Anna, standing to leave. Anna gives Dean a Look.

The third time is, of course, the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Because it’s John that asks the third time, and worst of all, he’s not even trying to be a dick about it (which, to Dean, is a first).

Things not exactly being repaired completely with him, Dean and Cas only have John over for dinner about once a month. John has sobered up, has done the AA meetings shtick—he just recently completed the step of apologizing to the people he’s wronged, Dean included—and for once in his life, Dean isn’t jolting awake in the middle of the night with anxiety toward John’s situation. So he expects this to be a calm dinner.

But then John asks, innocently, and non-intrusively, if they’ve thought about having kids anytime soon, and before Dean can say ‘pass the butter’, Cas—Dean’s cool-headed, logical, and level-tempered Cas—is on his feet and slamming his palms down on the table. The plates and glasses shake.

“We don’t know that yet,” he says, jaw clenched. “We’ve discussed it, but we don’t know. Whose business is it that we have kids, but our own? I don’t understand why humans have to ask all these stupid damn questions!” And he spins on his heel, leaving John and Dean with jaws unhinged.

“I… should probably talk to him,” Dean ventures, putting his napkin on the table.

“Did I say something wrong?” John asks. He looks like he needs a drink.

“No, Dad, it’s just… a touchy topic.” Dean reaches over the table as he stands, patting John’s forearm. “Seriously, it’s not you. I’ll go calm him down.”

Dean finds Cas where he usually does—on the back porch, perched on the deck’s railing, staring up at the stars. Dean’s made the inane comment before that Cas must like it back here because he can look up at Heaven—to which Cas of course responded, coolly, that Heaven is on a different plane of reality, not simply ‘up’.

Nevertheless, Dean suspects Cas likes to think he’s looking up at his old home anyway, when he sits out here in the cool night air.

Clearing his throat to announce his arrival, Dean walks until he’s behind Cas. “Hey, uh… wanna explain what the hell that was back there?”

Cas doesn’t turn. “I’d rather not.”

“O-kay.” Dean fidgets with his hands. “I know we’ve talked about kids before. And we haven’t landed on anything. But don’t feel pressure, okay, Cas? It’s just humans makin’ small talk. You don’t—”

“I’ve already had a child, and I lost her,” Cas snaps. He still doesn’t look at Dean, just sits cross-legged on the porch railing, head tilted toward the sky. “She wasn’t my biological child, but she felt like mine . Especially since she was a foster child and never truly had parents. And now she doesn’t know me from a stranger.”

Dean presses a hand on Cas’ back; feels the tightness of his muscles. “Cas… I didn’t even think about that.”

“I know we’ve discussed children,” Cas continues, voice soft. “I know you want them. And nothing—” Dean can hear his breath hitch. “Nothing would make me happier than to give them to you. But I don’t know if…”

“You don’t know if you could lose one again,” Dean finishes. He sees Cas nod.

He lets the silence seep between them; lets the cicadas fill the space. Taking Cas’ arm, he turns him around. Cas relents and swings his legs over the porch railing, legs dangling, facing Dean.

Dean frames Cas’ face with his palms. “I know you miss her,” he says. Those gorgeous blue eyes still won’t look at him; Dean’s not discouraged. “I know how painful that was for you. And trust me when I say we will find a way to get her memories back. You know how hard Anna is working to figure out what Naomi did with them.”

“They could have been destroyed,” Cas whispers. “There’s no guarantee that—”

“Cas.” Dean firmly plants a kiss on his lips to shush the usual tirade of self-defeatist talk Cas usually spewed. “There was no guarantee that we’d find each other and fall in love, defying expectations and social convention, right? And we did that, didn’t we?”

Cas shrugs. “That’s true.”

“What’s important is if you want kids or not. And if you don’t, then we won’t have them.”

Finally raising his eyes, Cas gapes at Dean. “No, Dean. You can’t say that. All you’ve talked about for the past three years is having children.”

“Of having a family ,” Dean corrects. “If that means we get twenty stray cats you keep picking up off the street, fine. If that means I become some hot-shot professor someday with a bunch of graduate students treating our house like a second home, fine. If it’s just you and me, even better.”

Cas shakes his head. “Dean…”

Dean captures his lips into a kiss again. He rubs his thumbs gently against Cas’ cheekbones, resting his forehead against Cas’. “I mean it when I say that I love you, and I will take literally anything you have to offer,” Dean says, “because that’s enough, Cas. You’re enough. I mean it.”

Clutching Dean’s shirt, Cas confesses, softly, “But I do want children, Dean. I want children with you.”

“Then we’ll do that too.” His thumb travels up Cas’ face, carefully rubbing some moisture that’s gathered at the corner of Cas’ eye. “If it makes you happy, angel.”

“You’re too good to me,” Cas says, hushed.

“Not good enough,” Dean scoffs.

“Impossible.”

They stay like that, for a few moments—Cas sitting on the railing, legs bracketing Dean in front of him. Dean can hear the sound of Cas’ windchimes taking flight on the warm wind.

“We could adopt,” Cas says.

Dean leans back. Grins. “Yeah?”

Wiping his cheek with the back of his hand, Cas mirrors his smile in his soft, shy way. “Yeah. Give a child a home who needs it. Like Claire.”

“If I’m being totally honest, Cas?” Dean kisses Cas’ forehead, then his cheeks on either side, because it always gets Cas to nuzzle his head against Dean’s and give him that shy grin. “That sounds absolutely perfect.”

[norahjakobs]

Earth 33: Outlaws - Playdate

Batman believes Robin could use more friends, he isn't really close with anyone at school and Gotham lacks anyone his age in the hero game. Luckily fellow hero Blue Devil also has a fairly friendless sidekick and could use some help with something down in LA. But when the two sidekicks get back from their adventure they find the adults missing and another kid, hijinks ensue.

This took forever to write, it also got a lot longer than it was suppose to but i guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Also no beta reading, we die like men.

Also heads up a character mentions being nauseous twice but no one throws up

The idea that he didn’t have enough friends was frankly, offensive. He hung around other students at free period, and sure none of them ever invited him over nor did he invite them over to the manor, even though he was sure Alfred would be thrilled to keep an eye on them and clean up afterwards if it meant he didn’t just hang around the manor alone for a little while. Okay he had to admit that maybe his school connections weren’t the closest but there were the other batfamily members! Like Dick who did make time for their phone calls and was there for him, not physically though since he was with the teen titans, well there was also Barbara and her… Okay honestly they weren’t the closest.

Ughhh dammit he was kinda lonely, wasn't he? He looked out the window of the batjet trying to figure out if he forgot anyone and could make a truthful argument that he wasn’t lonely, not even because he didn’t want to meet a fellow sidekick, he was actually pretty excited about that part, and getting to go somewhere sunny thanks to Blue Devil and his sidekick Kid Devil basing out of LA. He just didn’t want Bruce to worry about him, and he knew there was already a million other things he worried about, that was just part of the deal of taking a kid from crime alley in, and Jason knew there wasn’t anywhere he could ship the baggage off to, it just had to stay by the door to be unpacked slowly, like it was fine china.

He had to wonder what a sidekick with probably a far less messed up history, and such a sunny place to work out of, because face it, working out of gloomy Gotham would have an impact on anyone, would be like? Hopefully not too much more reckless, he already had that covered in spades he had been told, and it would really suck if Batman and Blue Devil had to rescue them from the clutches of Polka-Dot Man. He would never be able to live it down, even just thinking of the idea had his cheeks go pink from embarrassment, he quickly glanced at Bruce who thankfully was focused on landing the jet. The last thing he needed was to explain he was worried about fighting Polka-Dot Man, what kind of sidekick worried about that? Him apparently.

The loading area behind a 4.5 star hotel seemed like a strange meeting place, but apparently Bruce and Blue Devil were meeting with Zatanna to talk about a case and she was staying in the hotel, so it just worked out best. Blue Devil looked just like he did on the old movie poster Jason had lifted off of the side of a movie theater, kinda badass but also down to earth in a way that was hard to place. Kid Devil who was rocking back and forth on his heels, looked like a complete dork, the little horns and tail were just too much in his opinion.

“They’re here!” Kid Devil pointed at them as they approached.

Blue Devil who had been facing the other way turned around and stepped over to Batman and shook his hand, “Glad you could come by,”

Batman raised an eyebrow, and lightheartedly asked “Why wouldn’t i?”

Blue Devil let out a chuckle and answered, “You bats aren’t really know for coming to sunny California,”

They continued to chat meanwhile Kid Devil basically ran over to Robin and extended his hand in an almost exaggerated manner, a big grin on his face “I’m Ed- Kid Devil, nice to meet you!”

Robin looked at him for a moment before shaking his hand “Robin, nice to meet you too. Gotta ask, are you always so... Excited or is it just when meeting Batman and Robin behind a hotel?”

He put his finger to his mouth thinking for a moment before answering, “Yeah pretty sure i’m just always this upbeat!”

They two could hear Blue Devil chuckle in the background and then turn back to Batman and begin explaining something, probably why his sidekick was so energetic.

Kid Devil turned back to Robin, “I’m really looking forward to kicking butt with you! There aren’t a lot of kids my age around here that fight crime,” he mumbled under his breath “And blue doesn’t let me help with his stuff often.”

Robin raised an eyebrow, “Why doesn’t he?”

Kid Devil’s grin faltered into a still somewhat happy looking neutral expression, Robin had to wonder if the guy was capable of frowning, he started rubbing his arm and his eyes lingered off to the side, “He thinks it’s dangerous or something, but the worst injury I've gotten was after crashing my bike on the front door of the workshop, and that was completely out of costume.”

Robin had to wonder if Kid Devil realized why that was his worst injury was because Blue Devil kept him away from the dangerous missions, but wasn’t going to bring it up. Nothing kills the mood for a hang out (as he insisted it was not a playdate like how Batman said it was) like telling the other kid maybe the adult is right. “That sucks, Batman lets me jump around on the roofs of buildings, and trust me, it's not as easy as it looks.”

Kid Devil giggled, “Do ever worry about falling?”

“Ehhh, I used to, but this-” He pulled out the grappling hook, “-helps with that fear a lot, besides I'm way better at parkour than I was when I started.”

“Could you show me how to do parkour? I mean this thing-” he grabbed a weird looking trident that was left on the curb on the loading dock, “-can fly so practically I don’t need to know, but it would be really really cool!”

Robin smiled at him, “Yeah sure, I'll show you a few tricks while we’re looking for Polka-Dot Man,”

He rubbed the side of his face, “That’s not gonna be a lot of time, because maybe this is just me trying to find Polka-Dot Man sounds like trying to find an orange in a empty parking lot.”

Robin chuckled, “We can take the scenic route back here once we’re done with him.”

“Awesome!” Kid Devil did a fist pump.

Man, here Jason was thinking Dick was energetic, and for Gotham city, he was. But LA was a lot less grim, maybe cause of the sun or the sea. Or the shine of Hollywood, Jason honestly wasn’t sure.

Batman and Blue Devil walked over to the two, having finished their chat. Blue Devil put his hands on his hips, “Well we’re heading to Zatanna’s room, you two have fun and be careful, once you’re done come up to room 503.”

“If you run into any trouble, Robin remember you have a communicator on you, we’re only a call away.” Batman added.

“We’ll be fine,” Robin rolled his eyes under his mask and waved the idea that there’d be any trouble away, “It’s only Polka-Dot Man, if we can’t deal with him i think we would have been out of the biz a while ago.”

Blue Devil sighed for some reason Robin couldn’t figure out. Eh, probably no reason, people sigh sometimes. He then turned to Batman, “Well I'm going round front, guessing you aren’t going to be using the elevator with me?”

Batman shook his head and walked off, probably in the direction of the window for the room.

“Can he not use doors?”

Robin shook his head, “No, he can. He just prefers the window, I mean have you ever heard of a bat flying in through a door?”

“No… But he’s not a bat, he’s a man.”

“A Batman.”

“Wait is he a vampire? He has been squinting a lot, and sticking to the shadows!” Kid Devil had the face of Newton when he realized why the apple hit him.

Robin frantically shook his head “No! He’s just a night owl,”

“Have you ever seen him eat?”

“Yeah, not a lot but that’s cause he doesn’t eat at the dinner table.”

“Where does he eat?” Kid Devil raised an eyebrow.

“We should get moving, we have a criminal to catch,” He was trying to change the topic from if his adopted dad was a vampire and onto the thing they were meant to be doing. Like the kid that diverted a conversation from the fact their parents's a teacher by suggesting they do chores together.

“Oh yeah right!” He mounted the trident like how a five year old mounts those toy horse stick things. “Hop on!”

Robin was apprehensive to ‘hop on’ like Kid Devil suggested. The thing looked barely safe for one person, let alone two. “Uh, are you sure it can carry both of us?”

“Yup! Tell me you aren’t scared or something?” Kid Devil teased.

“No way,” He climbed on.

And the moment they were off the ground he was screaming, he was fine in the jet but he wasn’t having the wind whip in his fac- Eww a bug just smacked in his face. How the frick did Kid Devil do this so calmly???

“Wooo!”

“AHHHHH!”

Kid Devil turned his head to face Robin with a look of concern, “Are you okay?”

Robin frantically shook his head, he felt nauseous, oh lord he wanted down. He looked down and oh god that was a mistake, he was fine when there was something to hook on to if he fell but they were nowhere near downtown LA. “I’m gonna throw up,” He managed to say in between the screaming.

“Okay okay we’re going down.”

The moment they were on the group Robin got off the flying trident from hell and gave the sidewalk a kiss, “Sweet sweet ground i’m never leaving you again!”

Kid Devil crouched down and patted him on the back, “Be glad we’re in a good part of town, if we were in Skid Row you would have probably just gotten some sort of disease.”

Robin sat down to catch his breath, “No need to tell me that, I lived in the Gotham equivalent before Bats took me in.”

Kid Devils eyes were wide with surprise, “Really?”

He nodded, “Yeah, can’t say it was fun or that it’s something fun to talk about..” He hated talking about it with anyone frankly, they all tried to be understanding and empathize but the only person he felt actually understood was Leslie Thompkins.

“Alright let’s change the topic! So where does Batman eat?” Kid Devil offer Robin a hand up, a hand Robin took.

He groaned and answered, “A cave…”

“He’s totally a vampire.”

The two continued to debate the topic as they tracked down Polka-Dot Man, took out his, like, three goons, and then punched him in the face and dragged his butt over to the police station. And then even continued as they entered the hotel, waited for the elevator since some other kid had just closed it as they had got into the entrance, went up and waited for someone to answer the door after Robin had knocked.

There was a strange lack of any response. Like there was no one in the room.

“Do you think we should knock again?”

Robin shrugged, and then Kid Devil proceeded to knock on the door continuously.

After a moment it was opened. Not by any of the adults they had been expecting but some kid with messy, slightly curly black hair and a rabbit themed t-shirt and a blankly confused expression. “Uhhhhh”

“Ummm”

“Who are you?” Robin asked trying to take a peek behind the boy as he waited for a response.

“Zach,” He paused and then presumably realized that was not identifiable at all, “I’m Zatanna's cousin.”

“Where is Blue Devil and the others?” Kid Devil wasn’t being rude and trying to get around Zach, but instead just acted like a normal person in a conversation.

Zach shrugged, “Uhh, no clue. I’m kinda hoping you two could help clear that up?”

He finally moved out of the door frame letting the other two get a good look at the hotel room. It was high class, had one of those tubs with the jets in them and a bathrobe left on the steps to it. But it also smelled of… those gunpowder poppers you could throw on the ground to make a sound and fire and there were scorch marks on the floor. There were no signs of a fight or struggle but the other things left behind didn’t paint the most optimistic picture.

Robin turned to Zach while Kid Devil just gawked at the room and checked under the beds. “Did you see or hear anything Zach?”

Zach covered his mouth as he thought for a moment, “I was down in the dining room, Zee told me she didn’t want me at her meeting cause there’d be important people and…. Oh my gosh she was meeting with Batman wasn’t she?!”

Robin nodded, “Uh yeah she was, but that’s not the most relevant thing at the moment, you can bother her about it once we know where she and the others are.”

“That’s just so cool.. Man I've got the coolest cousin ever! Anyways i was down in the dining room eating when I heard some very muffled yells, so i came up here to investigate and well you know the rest.”

Robin tried to remain calm. None of that was very helpful. Not at all. But there must be a way to contact them. He then remembered he had his communicator on him, duh this was gonna be so easy. Almost nothing on earth could block it’s signal. He pulled it out and started a call with Batman. Only to see static on the screen and hear white noise out of the speakers. He frowned at it and banged it against his hand, hopeing that it would fix the problem, but no dice.

“Crap.”

Kid Devil got his head out from under the bed, “What now?”

“Batman is somewhere really bad, i can’t get in contact with him.” He waved around the communicator to make sure Kid Devil saw it.

He could see both Kid Devil’s and that Zach kids hopes dashed in one sentence. They had probably, along with him, been hoping that this would something really easy to clear up and they could just go raid the vending machine while waiting for the adults to get back. But instead they kinda needed to figure out where they had gone, three kids, one of whom seemed like a civilian wasn’t much backup but they were the only three that would notice this for a while.

Zach started to pace, a frazzled, almost panicked expression on his face. Meanwhile Kid Devil sat down on the platform area the jacuzzi was in, seemingly trying to think of what to do. Robin just leaned on the wall, going through what plans Batman had made for situations like this.

If he were in Gotham he was suppose to be contacting Alfred, The Commissioner, or Barbara at the moment. But he wasn’t so he mentally moved on to the next plan. If in Metropolis- no that didn’t help either, he was in LA, was there a LA plan? Thinking about it for a moment, really trying to scrub through all the paranoid planning Bruce did, nope. There was nothing for LA. So it was time to fall back on to the specialized situations plans, the one most relevant seemed like it’d be the magic one…. But the plan there was to contact Zatanna and follow her lead and she was one of the missing people.

“What the heck do we do?!” Zach pulled at his hair, not hard enough for any to come out.

Kid Devil shrugged, not that Zach noticed that as he turned to Robin pointing his finger, “You! You’re the sidekick to freaking Batman! What do we do?!” Clearly this guy wasn’t used to stressful situations.

Robin raised his hands trying to calm the fellow kid. “We.. Uhh…. Say do either of you two know any magic users?” He had to hope they could at least list one, for crying out loud Zach was Zatanna’s cousin, surely he’d know at least one. Hopefully one that’d be helpful, he didn’t want to get stuck calling the talking monkey.

Kid Devil shook his head. Unsurprisingly being the sidekick to a guy that was just stuck in a suit in the middle of LA wasn’t prime meeting magic people circumstances. “No one i know, Zach, buddy what about you?” Kid Devil was maybe too friendly for his own good, they had know Zach for a total of what? Five minutes and he was already calling him buddy, and not even in the tone that people use when the person isn’t actually their buddy.

He rubbed the nape of his neck as he answered. “Uhh, i do know Zee’s ex….. I even have his phone number,”

Robin grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him in the face, “Perfect. What is his number?”

Zach took a moment to rattle off the number as Robin put in each number in the hotel landline left on the desk of the room. It was almost going to stop ringing by the time the person on the other end picked up.

“Who on ‘earth is ‘this? And how’d ‘ya get this number?” He spoke with a strong scouse accent, and in an annoyed tone.

“Robin, Zatanna’s younger cousin gave me the number.” He stated it matter of factly, hiding the nerves that were twisting in him as each minute passed, what if something awful had happened. What if they were all overreacting and the three would be back once this call was done. Either idea terrified him, just for completely different reasons.

“Ah the Bat’s sidekick, now why ‘in hell are ‘ya calling me? And also why ‘ya ‘round Zach, the kid doesn’t get out much.”

Robin played with the cord as he explained, “Well you see… Uh, Batman was meeting up with Zatanna and Blue Devil in Zatanna’s hotel room while me and Kid Devil were off with each other, we came back and they were gone, and there’s scorch marks on the floor and smells like someone threw down some gunpowder poppers on the floor. Uh as for Zach he was getting babysat so was in the hotel.”

“Hmm,” He paused for a moment before seemly rifling through some papers, what they had on them Robin could only guess, “Ah shit, the smell you're describing is brimstone, one of ‘the telltale signs ‘of a demon. Where’d ‘ya say this hotel room was again?”

He hadn't even asked in the first place but Robin didn’t mention that as he detailed both the address and the room number.

“Alright, ‘hold tight i’ll be ‘there in a few,” The phone clicked off, he just hung up.

Kid Devil looked like he was about to burst with anticipation, “So what’d he say?!”

“He said he’ll be here soon, i’m not exactly sure how he plans on getting here so quick but he said to just hold tight.”

Zach shrugged, “Well if he’s magic like how he says he is he’ll just.. Like appear or something.”

Kid Devil raised an eyebrow, “Wait, ‘like how he says he is’?”

Zach shrugged, again. He was not very sure of much was he? “I mean i’ve never seen him do magic,”

Robin blinked a couple times, “Wait….. Do you not know about.. Ya know?” Anyone with some knowledge about the magic community, including Jason who only overheard stuff, knew that Zatanna’s most notable ex was John Constantine, and that he was magic as fuck. Not that anyone would say the second thing in front of him, they thought he hadn't heard even worse than that.

Zach shook his head, “What are you talking about…?”

Kid Devil piped up, “Your cousin actually has magic and so does her ex.”

Zach took a moment to process it, “I knew it! There is no way you could fit so much stuff in a hat otherwise, plus those sparkles she can make seemed way too shiny, and-” he continued to list things to himself that now made a lot more sense, it seemed like he was more convincing himself he should have figured it out sooner than that he was listing reasons he already figured it out.

Kid Devil came over and stood next to Robin. Both of them watching Zach pace and continue on to no one in particular. Kid Devil turned to Robin, “So we just sit here and wait?”

Robin turned to him and nodded. “Yup, sit and wait.”

“It kinda makes me feel useless, I feel like we should be looking for clues, putting them all together, bursting in last moment and rescuing our mentors plus Zach’s cuz, and instead we’re what? Waiting for another adult to show up and probably take the problem right out of our hands?”

“I feel you, but i mean we don’t know anything about magic. And that seems to be the problem, I've got no idea what magical causes there are for a brimstone smell and I don't know where to start with this! Like agreed it’d be awesome if we could burst in and help! But I don't think today can be one of those days, I don't think whatever this is is something we’re ready to deal with. Plus I don't think we should leave Zach over there alone in case something dangerous is around.” It sucked to have to be the mature one but he was used to it, he used to give advice to some of the other street kids and now he was Batman’s sidekick, other young heroes would listen to him.

Kid Devil sighed, “I get that, still feel kinda useless.”

Robin patted him on the shoulder, “Honestly, same, I'm Robin and i feel like i can’t do anything.”

“Misery loves company they say, i guess that also rings true for other bad emotions.”

“From my experience i can confirm.”

The background chatter of Zach talking to himself suddenly stopped as he turned to the other two boys. “Are you two even hearing what i’m saying?”

“Ehh i think we both started tuning it out when you got to the part about sparkles, sorry.” Robin didn’t even think the guy had been expecting the both of them to listen to any of that.

Kid Devil shook his head with a guilty look on his face.

Zach waved his hands dismissively, “It’s fine, i think i got on a tangent there didn’t i?”

Kid Devil and Robin nodded at the same time. “Yeah you did,” Robin confirmed.

“I just start talking then i can’t stop till i’m done what i’m saying, it didn’t annoy you two did it?” He rubbed his arms as his eyes wandered to the floor.

Kid Devil immediately answered. “No! I actually get that sometimes too, though usually when i’m talking about movies or movie making.”

The was a small smile on Zach’s face. “Heh, I didn't think anyone else did that.”

So they loitered around the hotel room for 15 minutes, most of which were spent watching Kid Devil trying to find a good movie on the TV and sharing fun facts about a couple of the ones they didn’t pick off the TV guide. Then the sound of knuckles against the wooden door could be heard over the action flick the three had settled on.

Robin went to the door and checked through the peephole before opening it, “Hey does your cousins ex looks like a private investigator in need of better pay?”

“Yeah that would be him alright.”

He opened the door to only be hit with the smell of strong booze and smokes, the smell seemed like it cling on to this man like a toddler to a parent in the supermarket. He held himself with confidence though, his hands in his pockets and an expression that bordered on unhappy but didn’t tip toe over the line.

“So what do ‘ya guys already know?” He went to reach for a smoke but everyone shot him a look and he seemed to then remember both that he couldn’t smoke in a hotel and that the room was full of kids.

“Zach heard some noises, and basically all the stuff you can figure out by looking around the room. Also there is nothing under the bed.”

John approached the bed where Zach was sitting on the edge of. “So what’d you ‘hear, Zach?”

“Well i was down in the dining room so i-”

John cut him off. “You ‘were in the dining room?”

Zach nodded.

“The one down four floors?”

Zach nodded again.

“Alright there’s no way ‘ya would have heard much of ‘anything from down there unless Zee used some magic to try and tell ‘ya something, continue on.”

“Like I was saying I was down in the dining hall eating some brownies when i heard very muffled shouting, it sounded like two men and Zee. I got up here as fast as I could but no one was here when I got the door open…”

“Alright, and could you make out ‘any of the words ‘anyone was saying?”

Zach thought hard for a moment before answering. “I think I heard something about Wrath?”

John mulled the word over, “Wrath, wrath, hmm there’s gotta be someth- Ah! I ‘know i think ‘ya heard Rath.”

“Yeah that was it! You have to admit it does sound a lot like Wrath…”

“Who’s Rath?” Kid Devil asked.

John shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he began to explain. “He’s a demon. ‘One of the demons ‘three, three demon brothers that cause a lot ‘o problems for people. Two of ‘em already are banished to hell, ‘hopefully for good. But Rath, the bugger is still on the loose. Not for much longer if me ‘and Zee got anything to say about it, though.” He started to march out of the room.

Kid Devil half raised his hand, “What do we do since you’re leaving?”

John paused his march for a moment and shrugged, “Keep ‘yourselves busy ‘and stay in the hotel.” He then exited through the door before anyone could ask for any more specific rules.

Kid Devil turned to Zach, “Is he always so…. You know.”

Zach nodded. “Yeah just about, he was a little nicer and put together when I was younger but he’s let himself go.”

Robin interrupted the two of them. “Hey guys, tell me, what just happened.” A mischievous smile was barely being contained as he asked.

“John just left us alone and told us to stay in the hotel?”

The grin crept onto his face. “Exactly, we my friends, have been left with no supervision in a hotel. And guess what i’ve got?”

Both Zach and Kid Devil looked upon him like he was some sort of great leader, paving a new path as they realized what he just said was true. They did just get left with no supervision. “What?” The both asked.

Robin rifled through his belt, where oh where was it? There it was! He pulled out, the batcredit card and held it up ala an item in the legend of zelda.

Zach burst out laughing meanwhile Kid Devil looked confused, “Why on earth do you have that? Why does Batman have one of those?”

Robin shrugged, “Sometimes we have to pay for stuff, and it’d really ruin the whole secret identity thing to whip out a checkbook and write down his name on it or pull out his other credit card with his name clear to see. Plus i can use this without anyone raising an eyebrow! At least if I'm in costume, I don't think I'd get away with it in my civilian identity.”

Zach continued to laugh in the background while Kid Devil replied. “Huh, that actually makes a lot of sense, still pretty silly.”

“Agreed.” He knew all the practical reasons behind it but pulling out a credit card with a bat slapped on it to make it bat themed so it’d match everything else did feel ridiculous.

“Say, you haven’t actually told me your name, can i ask what it is?”

“Nope, sorry. Bat’s is really strict on that, hell Nightwing couldn’t tell the teen titans for the longest time what his name was and in fact the only reason they know is cause he broke the rules and told them.” He did wish he could tell Kid Devil, trying to be friends with someone but not being able to tell them his name felt weird.

He looked disappointed for a moment before moving on. “Eh i get it. I’m Eddie by the way!” The name seemed to suit him, he just kinda gave off ‘Eddie’ vibes, though the idea that certain people seemed like a certain name would fit them was kinda ridiculous. By that logic he probably go by the name Hunter or Jaxon.

Zach raised an eyebrow. “Did you forget I'm standing right here?”

Eddie shook his head, “Nope! It’s just we’re a little more lax about idenites here, if someone really wanted they could do some googling about Blue Devil and probably end up with my address and what school i go to. Besides there are a lot of Eddie’s in LA, if you aren’t looking into Blue Devil you aren’t going to find me with only that information. Also i trust you’ll be keeping all of this to yourself, right?”

Robin raised an eyebrow and his mouth dropped a little, “It’s that easy to find out who you are?”

“Blue Devil isn’t exactly hiding in the shadows. Heck he was front page when the suit got stuck to him!”

Zach stared off for a moment, seeming to be in a little shock. “Yeah i won’t mention this, i mean i don’t really even know who i’d tell. My parents probably just go ‘that’s nice Zach, now go away’ and my friends would think i was lying.”

“Really?” Those seemed like some pretty shitty friends and dismissive parents to him. But it wasn’t like he was the expert on either, he barely had any friends and his parents were, gone too soon to be much of anything, dependent on him, or actually interested in him and what he was doing.

“Probably, i mean i don’t know for sure and i’m not going to test it.”

Robin thought about it for a moment. Batman would be so mad if he ever found out, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him and it wasn’t like either of these two would tell anyone. “You guys can call me Jason, just don’t do it front of Batman. If he found out i told you two he might rethink his golden rule.”

Eddie giggled, “Alright, I'll make sure not to do that Jason.”

“Also don’t say it in front of anyone else for that matter.” He did have to be careful, there were a lot of Jason’s in Gotham city, including the highly public Jason Todd adopted son of billionaire Bruce Wayne, came from the streets. If anyone thought there might be connection that could spell so much trouble. Hell he realized he just handed over the tools to figure it out to Eddie since he already mentioned he grew up on the streets. It would take a leap of logic but it could happen.

“So basically it stays in this room and this room alone?” Zach said.

“Yup.”

Zach started pacing rubbing his hands together, “So back on the topic that we’ve been left without supervision, what do you two think we should do?”

“It might be fun to ride on the cleaning cart…. Let’s just make sure it’s not one in use, i don’t want to make the cleaners day even shitter than it already probably is.” Only after he was done his sentence did he realized he said shit in front of the other two. He had been trying to not swear in front of people but he grew up in crime alley, he had heard much stronger language almost everyday.

Eddie took a pause before speaking, “Yeah that’d be a lot of fun!”

“Then what are we waiting for?!”

The three headed out of the hotel room back into the hallway. The first cleaning cart they came across was in front of a room with the door left ajar, clearly in use. After a bit of sighing and Jason pulling Zach away from the cart they found another one. No cleaner in sight or clues that they’d be back anytime soon. They pushed it away from where they found it and took it down to the third floor at the end of the hall, no one would catch them there.

“So who goes where?” Zach asked staring at it.

“Zach you get to sit on the surface of it, Eddie you stand on the little edge on the front end and hold on for dear life, and i’ll stand on the back bit that sticks out and push.”

“Alright!”

They all got in their specified locations and Jason started to use his foot to push the cart, at first it was going slow. Though given how excited all of them looked, they might as well been nascar drivers. Then a little faster, Eddie gripped on to the cart a lot tighter and Jason followed suit, he didn’t really want to fall off.

“Faster!” Zach demanded, a grin on his face.

Eddie and Jason exchanged a look, on the one hand, neither of them wanted to get hurt and crashing into the door to the stairwell would hurt a lot. But on the other hand, it’d be really fun. But before either of them could decide if the reward outweighed the risks they could hear what was but a faint whisper, “Retsaf.”

The cart was now really picking up speed. Jason pulled his foot from the ground quickly as this thing did not need anymore speed than it already had. They were now barreling down the hallway, headed straight for the door to the stairwell. And worse yet Jason just remember that it's a push door, not a pull one.

“Weee!” At least Eddie was still having fun.

“Woo!” Zach also seemed to not yet realize the very present danger they were in.

“We’re headed straight for the stairs!” Jason panickedly yelled.

Their yells of glee quickly turned to screams of fear as they crashed through the door, skidded on the edge of the stairs, Eddie jumped off and landed on the landing for the third floor and then the cart went straight into the wall before the cart finally landed on it’s side, the wheels still spinning.

Jason could only see the roof above him as his senses processed what just happened and subsequently wanted to throw up. He felt a blunt pain where he had landed, nothing too bad but just enough to be unpleasant. Note to self, don’t ever do that again. He could hear Zach groaning a couple feet away from him, that was good as it meant he didn’t hit his head hard.

They both then could hear Eddie shout down at them, “Are you two okay!”

Jason weakly held a thumb up and shouted back, “I think!”

He could hear Zach pull himself off the ground and using the wall to support himself as he got up. “Speak for yourself, i’m not exactly used to getting banged around like that.”

Jason closed his eyes and just let himself focus on breathing for a moment. He could hear someone was using the stairs and frankly he had no idea if they were going up or down. Though judging by how light the steps were and the fact that Eddie nor Zach were talking it was one of them.

“Want a hand up?” Eddie asked. Jason opened one of his eyes to see Eddie crouching over him, a hand extended.

“Sure.” Jason got up with Eddie’s help.

“Let’s head back to the room.” Robin suggested.

“Yeah before anyone gets to the scene of our crime.” Zach dryly added.

The three rushed back up to Zatanna’s room. It was as empty as they had left it. All three of them had about the same idea as each other as they all rushed on to the soft bed. Much nicer to lie on than the scratchy carpet the stairwell had.

Jason still felt a dull pain in his torso where he had crashed against the handlebar of the cart. His costume didn’t let him easily check it but he was pretty sure a bruise had formed. “Hey does the mini fridge have anything really cold in it? I think i got bruised from that.”

Zach got up and checked, and then turned back to the bed and shook his head. “Not on hand, unless you want some barely cold vodka that Zee put in here before I had to leave the room, but I can order some room service and ask for an ice bucket.”

“Please do that.”

Once the room service arrived Zach got the bucket from them out in the hall so they wouldn’t notice how torn up the hotel room itself was. He then came back in and set the bucket down on the desk as he went and grabbed three towels from the bathroom, he set those down on the ground then dumped the ice on them and spread it out evenly between the three, he then bundled the towel and twisted the end till it wouldn’t just come apart if you let it go for half a second. He handed one over to Jason who immediately stuck it on top on where his bruise was, then one to Eddie who rubbed it over where he had got some scrapes, and kept one for himself that he was just keeping in his hands.

They sat like that and chatted for about five minutes before Zach started eyeing the bucket.

“What are you thinking?” Jason asked, his hair dangling off the bed with the rest of his head.

“I just remembered a cool trick i saw down in the dining room…”

Eddie who was lying belly first like how you’d see a sleepover in a girls magazine, looked interested. “Ooo, what sort of trick?”

“You get some strong alcohol, and you set it on fire.” The way he said it made it sound really cool, though it was a deceptively simple trick. “You know I could probably show you two if you guys wanted.”

Jason raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure that it’d be safe?”

“I’ll do it in the metal bucket and i’ll even do it on the edge of the jacuzzi so if it gets out of control we can just push it in there!”

“Okay..” He was a little apprehensive about the idea but as long as they did it safely. And besides it’d be fun to see.

Zach grabbed the bucket, then the vodka out of the fridge and poured it in. He then looked around for a moment for something to set it on fire with. Jason tossed him a lighter with an extendable metal bit where the fire came out. He extended it and lit it and brought it to the vodka and…

It lit in blue flames! Eddie enthusiastically clapped and Jason had to admit he was impressed. Zach took a small bow “Ta dah!”

“That is so cool! How long will it stay on fire?”

Zach looked like he had a sudden realization, the look you get when a person realizes that they did leave the stove on. “Uhh, i’m not sure. The people in the bar would just blow it out but i don’t think we can do that…”

Jason sat up on the bed to get a better look and also so blood would stop rushing to his head. “Alright let’s figure this out, we’ve got a bucket full of vodka that’s on fire… A thin spread of the right kind of alcohol will stay burning for only a minute or so but you poured the whole bottle in so-”

“Why do you know how long alcohol burns?” Zach asked

“Some idiot thought it was a good idea to throw a molotov cocktail at a police car and completely missed and got the sidewalk instead.”

“You know, stuff like that makes me glad i don’t live in Gotham.”

“Hey! Gotham is the best, it’s just got a couple neighborhoods where you gotta watch out a little.” Jason had his own problems with the city but he was a Gotham boy through and through, born and raised.

“Still i think i like New York better.”

“Anyways i think the fire should burn out in about… 8 minutes..” He wasn’t a hundred percent sure his math was right but he was pretty sure.

“Great..” From the way it sounded Zach did not think it was, “Great” but wasn’t going to raise any complaints.

“So while we wait for that to burn out could we do something remotely safe?” Eddie asked.

Jason crossed his arms. “Like what?”

“Hmm, I don't know. Maybe make a blanket fort?”

“If we’re going to do that we’ll need more blankets.” Zach pointed out.

“I think I can do that.” A devilish grin spread across his face.

Jason went alone, the other two were getting chairs, rope, and tape. While he was heading to the cleaning room. The lock on the door wasn’t much to contend with, especially since he got given real lock picks, not like the crappy ones he got used to on the street. He grabbed a couple of the clean ones, and avoided the ones that still needed cleaning.

They all met back up and started construction, Zach was in charge of direction as he had the most practice out of the three of them, meanwhile Eddie was in charge of getting the blankets where they were supposed to be, and Jason was put to tying all of it down and making sure it stayed together since he was the best knot tier out of them.

Once they were done Zach made some microwave popcorn while Eddie and Jason got comfortable. Eddie didn’t really seem to have much of an idea of personal space but Jason couldn’t say it bothered him that much.

Zach crouched down to climb in with the bag of popcorn, “Hey move over a little, you two are hogging all the space!”

Jason shuffled over to the side letting Zach slip into the majestic blanket fort they had made. Eddie grabbed some of the popcorn and stuffed it into his mouth.

They had just started chatting when they could hear the door open and the sound of several exhausted adults mummering at each other about demons and whether or not it was too nice to just seal them in hell. Then they suddenly stopped for a reason the three kids, frozen from surprise could see.

“Why the hell is there an ice bucket on fire next to the jacuzzi?!” Zatanna loudly asked.

“I was going to ask where they got all those blankets from.” Blue Devil added.

“Are you three why there’s a cleaning cart crashed in the stairwell?” Batman asked.

John stayed uncomfortably quiet.

Meanwhile the three of them looked at each other, slight terror in each of their eyes. Then they all clambered over each other and out of the blanket fort.

Zach began the explanation. “I wanted to show these two a trick I saw down in the dining room, and I guess it hasn’t burnt out yet.” He shrugged.

“As for the blankets we got them from the cleaning room, well robin did, me and Zach were getting the other stuff together!” Eddie cheerfully added

“We made sure it wasn’t a cart that was being used, besides we can pay for any damages done and leave a generous tip while we’re at it.” Jason tried to finish.

“How did it happen though?” Batman asked.

“Zach wanted to go faster, and we didn’t realize the door was a push one till it was way too late…”

Batman covered his face with his hand and shook his head disapprovingly. Though Jason could imagine there was a small smile on his face under his hand.

Zatanna slowly turned to John, giving him the sink eye. “John.”

“‘Yeah?”

“Why’d you leave these three unsupervised?”

“Well ‘lov, it’s not like ‘I've got babysitters in LA ‘already plugged into ‘my phone.”

“You could have call Mikey! And don’t tell me you don’t have his number, i know you sometimes ask him to send you pictures of me.”

“Look I didn't ‘think of it!”

The two continued on while Batman and Blue Devil awkwardly tried to give them their distance and the ice bucket finally burnt out in the background.

Eddie turned to Jason. “This has been a whole load of fun!”

Jason smiled at him, “Yeah it has.”

“Hey how about i give you my address and we can send each other letters!”

“Why not just exchange our phone numbers?”

“I mean we can do that too! It’s just fun to use out of date stuff, my aunt still uses vinyl cause of that reason.”

“Alright sure.”

They exchanged both their numbers and mailing addresses, and in doing that they both knew that it would definitely let the other one figure out who they were, but neither were all that worried about it. Jason was sure Eddie wouldn’t tell anyone.

Soon enough Robin and Batman had to leave and go back to Gotham. Though Robin got himself dropped off in the city instead of going straight to the cave, he needed to go get some stamps.

[ariadenassau]

AMERICANA TASK 001

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE (OOC)

name: Ariadne Marie de Nassau 

meaning of name: Ariadne is a Greek name, meaning “chaste” or “most holy”. Marie is a French version of Mary, and the meaning is debated, but can mean “sea of sorrow” or “rebellion”. Her last name, de Nassau, is literally “of Nassau” — she is a part of the House of Nassau. 

aliases: Aria is her nickname from childhood and her preferred name. 

place of birth: Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts. 

race: Caucasian 

nationality: Dual citizenship with France and the United States. 

gender: Cis-female

sexuality: Mostly heterosexual

profession: A freelance journalist

eye color: Dark brown

hair style/color: Straight, chestnut brown hair to her shoulders, usually partly braided or in a plait.

height: 5’4” (164 cm)

clothing style: Simple, tailored, and clean-cut, Aria dresses in neutrals and soft materials. She's partial to creamy ivories and tans as opposed to bright colors, with the occasional baby pinks. The only jewelry she wears is a simple gold pendant and a sapphire ring, her birthstone.

best physical feature: Her eyes — both soft and piercing at the same time, the eyes are truly the window to Aria’s soul. 

appearance: Very soft and muted, yet luxurious. Aria is from wealth, which shows, but she never flaunts it. She doesn’t wear much makeup and avoids showing too much skin. She looks professional and pretty, but not someone you’d turn around and look at twice in New York. 

weight: 110 lbs (50 kg) 

complexion: Fair during the winter, slightly tanner during the summer, as Aria darkens easily under the sun. 

build: Slight and petite, she is quite skinny and small, without very many curves. 

voice: Gentle, she rarely speaks over a shout. She doesn’t like to yell and upturns the ends of her sentences, as if she’s always a bit unsure of herself. She has a slight British/European accent from her upbringing abroad. 

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE (OOC)

fears: Spiders, roller-coasters, and disappointing her parents — although she is working on that last one, 

guilty pleasure: The Bachelor. Aria will never admit to watching them, as she finds the entire idea trashy and degrading, but somehow, she turns it on every week when its airing with popcorn and a glass of wine. 

biggest pet peeve: People who chew on their food loudly (bad table manners in general, really.) 

ambition for the future: To find out who was behind Abby’s killing and write an entire expose on it. 

one bad habit: Popping her pimples and skin blemishes.

one good habit: Washing the dishes immediately after she uses them.

one habit they can’t break: Her daily iced coffee (or two) from Starbucks.

one they’ve broken: Chewing on her nails. 

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS (OOC)

first thoughts waking up: “I need coffee.” 

what they think about the most: Deep-set anxieties about her future and identity as an individual person. 

what they think about before bed: All the errands and things she needs to accomplish tomorrow. 

what they think their best quality is: Intelligence and writing ability. 

what they think would completely break them: Finding love, and then losing it. 

what they think was the best thing in their life: Discovering that she had a long-lost sister, and getting to reconnect with her. 

what they think was the worst thing in their life: Losing that long-lost sister. 

what seemingly insignificant memories stuck with them: Her childhood piano teacher smacking her fingers when she’d play the wrong notes. 

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER? (OOC)

single or group dates: Neither — Aria hates dates. 

to be loved or respected: Respected.

beauty or brains: Brains. 

dogs or cats: Dogs. 

coffee or tea: Coffee. 

showering in the day or night: Showering at night. 

taking baths or taking showers: Taking showers. 

tv or movies: Movies. 

writing or reading: Writing. 

platonic or romantic love: Platonic.

iced tea or lemonade: Iced tea. 

ice cream or smoothies: Smoothies. 

cupcakes or cake: Cupcakes. 

beach or mountains: Mountains. 

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU? (IC) 

lie: “Yes — it’s a way to get information that I want out of people. But I never lie to hurt anyone.” 

believe in yourself: “I hope that I do. I think that I do. Maybe not.” 

believe in love: “I think love is out there, but I don’t know how to find it or if it even exists for me.” 

want someone: “Maybe.”  

work so that you can support your hobbies or use your hobbies as a way of filling up the time you aren’t working: “Well — neither. Writing is both my work and my hobby. So I guess I lucked out.” 

have something you’re reluctant to tell people: “My ‘royal’ status. It doesn’t mean anything.”  

have an opinion about sex: “It’s something lovely that can make two people’s bonds stronger, but...  I don’t know. I don’t think I have a strong opinion either way.” 

have many friends: “I have many acquaintances from work and school, but close friends? Probably not.” 

have as many friends as you want: “Yes. I’m a bit of a loner, you see.” 

have something to make a scene in public about: “God, I hope not.” 

have something to give your life for: “A hundred percent — my career, my writing, and figuring out what the hell happened to Abby.” 

have major flaws: “I… get too attached to people. It goes along with having such little close friends. The friends I do have, I keep very close to my heart, which means when I lose them… well, my world falls apart.” 

have something you pretend or try to care about: “Um — politics?” 

have an image you project: “I think I try to come off as more self-confident than I am. I’m also very polite to most people, even if I don’t particularly think the person is deserving of it.” 

have something you’re afraid of: “Isn’t everyone afraid of something?” 

think you’re polite or rude: “Definitely polite.” 

LAYER SIX: FAVORITES (IC) 

favorite color: “Hm. I love baby pink, but I also love cream and ivory as well.” 

favorite animal: “Polar bears. They’re so majestic!” 

favorite movie: “Lost in Translation. It was such a beautifully shot movie!” 

favorite game: “I don’t play very many games.” 

sound: “Oh! — the sound of sunny winter mornings back when I was in school in Gstaad. You can hear it when you open a window; the chilly breeze, the sound of snow underneath people’s feet… I miss it.” 

song: “It changes, really, but I can always listen to anything by Frank Sinatra.” 

band: “Is it cliche if I say The Beatles?” 

outfit: “Well, it certainly depends on the season, but for the fall and winter, I love my tan crepe pants, an ivory cashmere turtleneck, and my Acne leather boots.” 

place: “Switzerland. I spent most of my years there, and the landscapes are so beautiful.” 

memory: “I think the first time I met Abby — I was so nervous, and I just saw her, and we talked for hours in her room afterwards. Her parents made hot cocoa, and we just sat there, laughing, crying… it was so wonderful, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” 

person: “Abby. Or my mentor back at Harvard. She was the one who helped me curate my writing to what it is now.” 

show: “I don’t watch much television.” 

LAYER SEVEN: AGE (OOC/IC) 

age: 29

date of birth: September 2nd, 1990

day your next birthday will be: Thursday.

zodiac sign: Virgo.

age you lost your virginity: 18.

does age matter: “Age certainly matters if you’re younger, but once you pass twenty-five or so… who am I to judge?” 

LAYER EIGHT: PERSONALITY (OOC) 

moral alignment: Neutral Good. 

enneagram: 4 - The Individualist

four temperaments: Melancholic

tropes: the soiled dove, the lost soul, the contrite, the taciturn

archetypes: The Sage/Innocent 

tarot cards: Temperance

compassion: yes. 

empathy: yes.

creativity: yes.

mental flexibility: at times, no.

passion: yes, for the right things. 

stamina: yes. 

physical strength: not much. 

battle skill: not at all. 

agility: a bit. 

strategy: she’s always planning for her next move, so yes. 

teamwork: yes, but she needs to be the leader. 

strength: so much emotional strength. 

intelligence: yes. 

wisdom: partly, but still trying to find it. 

dexterity: none; Aria has a rare muscular dystrophy that degraded the muscles in her hands and fingers. 

constitution: a hundred percent. 

charisma: only on certain occasions; otherwise, Aria is quite aloof. 

LAYER NINE: FINISH THE SENTENCE (IC) 

i love: “... good food. Can you blame me?” 

i feel: “... lost.” 

i hide: “... my feelings, my emotions, my thoughts.” 

i miss: “... Abby.” 

i wish: “... that I could know where life is taking me.” 

i hate: “... people who think they can take advantage of my kindness.” 

LAYER TEN: FAMILY (IC) 

relationships: “I had a boyfriend. It’s awkward to talk about really, but he dumped me. Quite an awkward situation.” 

parents: “My father is Prince Jean Louis, sixteenth in line for the throne in Luxembourg. My mother is Princess Charlotte Julie, formerly Charlotte Julie Vanderbilt.” 

siblings: “Just Abby, who was fathered by my father and another woman. She was given up for adoption when she was a baby, which is why I never met her until I grew up.” 

children: “No — although, maybe in the future.” 

favorite childhood memory: “Oh — my childhood wasn’t that fun. But I guess, early on, my parents did take me out on trips on the boat in lakes in the South of France. Those were always nice.” 

favorite childhood toy: “My stuffed bunny Juliette. I still have her.” 

embarrassing story: “I fell asleep once in a bowl of yogurt in class. I was so tired staying up studying for an exam, that during it, I was eating my breakfast, and just… fell asleep.” 

favorite family member: “Abby. I’m not very close to my parents, or anyone from my family, really.” 

[ecofinisher]

Off to Rust! (Adrigami fanfic)

Chapter 1

This fanfic is inspired by gataclism’s post of headcanons of the fencing class in Miraculous. I want to share the post, but I don’t know how to link it here. Second inspiration is the Europa-park, where my workplace is going to go coming Thursday. 

Fanfic links:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21137411/chapters/50303216

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13415645/1/Off-to-Rust

https://www.wattpad.com/797324322-off-to-rust-intro

Adrien Agreste entered into the wardrobe followed by other students who were like him dressed in a white fencing suit with the symbol of the D’Argencourt academy.

“See you tomorrow, Adrien,” One of the fencing students said waving at the blonde, which had his face uncovered, unlike the other mates.

“See you tomorrow, Etienne” Adrien wished his groupmate, then stopped in front of his locker to unlock it and open it to find his kwami Plagg sleep over the smartphone of the boy, making the blonde smile and he removed his fencing gloves and placed them on the plate of the locker, then took Plagg slowly away from his smartphone lying him on top of the glove, without waking him up. Afterward, he grabbed his smartphone to see a message of his friend Nino Lahiffe, which he then opened.

“Dude the amusement park is amazing! You’re missing out so much!”

Adrien sighed and typed down a message to the Morrocan.

“That’s fantastic. Enjoy the rest of the days there with the others”

Adrien took from his locker his barrel bag out and stowed his smartphone inside the bag, then grabbed on the gloves carefully with Plagg over them and placed it inside his back, then someone stood behind him and tapped him on the back, shrieking him and he turned around grabbing his barrel bag. Adrien let out a relieved sigh as he saw it was just his good Kagami Tsurugi, who stood there behind him in her fencing uniform holding two sabers on her hands.

“You forgot your saber in the court, dizzy,” Kagami mentioned jokingly earning a smile from Adrien, which grabbed the silver-colored sword and placed it beside his locker.

“Thank you”

“Are you still sad, that you couldn’t go out with your class to the Europa-park?” The blue-haired girl asked making Adrien shrug his shoulders.

“I don’t know, why he even does this when I’m together with my class. Not even to London or Monaco, he didn’t let me go with them. He’s exaggerating with the over protection”

“At least he lets you go out for fencing or for photoshoots” Kagami mentioned sitting down on the bench in front of the blonde, afterward he joins by her side, glancing at her before he continued to chat with the girl.

“At least he lets me hang out with you….well, when my bodyguard is around or when we’re either in your house or mine,” The blonde said. “It probably makes you feel awkward or uncomfortable when he’s around us”

“When we’re at your house I find he’s doesn’t seem to be present around us as anywhere else. He has given us more privacy”

“Yes, he doesn’t check out, if I’m around in the room or doing something I shouldn’t be doing”

“Like what?” Kagami questioned making Adrien think of possible motives he would get in trouble if he got caught.

“I think throwing a party would be one” Adrien responded, then heard the door of the wardrobe get opened and the fencing master Armand D’Argencourt entered the wardrobe with a few envelopes in his hands.

“Great you’re still here,” The teacher said walking the corridor along to the fencing students on the other side. “I forgot to tell you this. Since we're still on school holiday next week I planned a trip for you all and I got a letter for your parents to sign. I want you all to have your suitcases prepared for next week. There are not many things needed, cause it’s going to be a surprise”

“This sounds awesome,” Two tall fencing students said in a chorus.

“Where are we going?” Asked the third fencing student.

“It’s a secret, Etienne. But I think you all will like it” Armand explained earning a nod from the students.

“I know your parents are most likely to not want you to come, but you two receive a different mail from me, telling you about a fencing class, that is going to train with us all to help us improve” Armand explained moving from both hands his index and middle finger at his comment earning a nod from the students. “Do you two understand me?” The grey-haired teacher asked earning a nod from the two pros.

“Yes” Adrien responded.

“Good and if you feel unsure, tell your father to call me and I solve this” Armand said with a wink, then walked to the other corridor knocking on the lockers to call for the girls of the fencing class. “Ladies, I’ve got a letter for you all too”

“I wonder, what the surprise is” Adrien mentioned earning a nod from the blue-haired girl.

“Maybe a field trip or a visit to another city?” Kagami guessed watching Adrien shrug his shoulders.

“I hope it will be good” A fencing student mentioned earning a nod from the other comrades around him.

Ten minutes later Adrien stood out at the sidewalk along with Kagami in front of the gray-colored Sedan of the Agreste family.

“The car will be here any minute, you can leave if you want,” Kagami mentioned looking up at the blonde, that stood beside her holding his barrel bag over his shoulder.

“No it’s fine, I don’t mind waiting out here with you” Adrien answered making the girl chuckle.

“You’re so sweet, Adrien. I never had such a great friend as you are in my life” Kagami mentioned seeing Adrien smiling brightly at her comment. “I don’t know how my life would have been, if you didn’t offer me that decisive match after I….was akumatized,” The Japanese girl pointed out grabbing her elbow rolling her eyes down at the ground neutrally, making Adrien’s lips form a straight line and creasing his eyebrows up by looking at the friend remembering the first time she was akumatized. Adrien placed his hand on Kagami’s shoulder, then gazed into the chestnut brown eyes of the girl that were rolled down.

“It’s not your fault you got akumatized, it just happened. It happened to every one of us, even your mother or my father. You don’t need to take the blame on you,” The blonde explained watching Kagami roll her eyes up at him, which shined at him due to a minor negative feeling, she felt from the conversation. “Everything you did and said during that time wasn’t you. I know, that you know that” Adrien assured earning a nod from the blue-haired girl. Kagami closed her eyes taking a deep breath, then inhaled the air out, afterward she repeated it again with Adrien Agreste observing her.

“Good just relax. Don’t let anything negative enter into your head” Adrien guided the girl, which then stopped and looked back at the boy with a little smile, making the blonde sigh in relief. “How do you feel?”

“I’m better now”

“That’s great Kagami” Adrien stated glad, watching Kagami’s smile grew thereafter behind the silver-colored car, a red car approached stopping behind the vehicle of the Agreste’s and Kagami glanced at the Sedan of her mother.

“I have to go, we will see us….next Monday I guess?” Kagami questioned the blonde, who shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, he didn’t mention anything more besides, that it was a surprise” Adrien recited earning a nod from the Japanese girl.

“We will see it then” Kagami added. “We still can chat about it, when necessary, right?” Questioned the blue-haired girl earning a nod from the tall boy.

“Yeah and look Kagami, if you need to talk with me about something, you can count on me”

“I know” Kagami responded going on her tiptoes to place her arms around the boy for a hug. “Thank you,” Kagami told the blonde which smiled at the hug of the girl, then patted her gently on her back. Kagami’s head leaned beside her friend’s head in serenity, then she went off the boy to gaze at him, smiling gently at the girl.

“Au revoir,” Adrien said watching the girl smirk at him charmingly, then she replied back to the friend.

“Au revoir,” Kagami said walking at the door of her car along with Adrien, which opened up the door for her to get in, making her smile and place her hands on his shoulder and pulled him carefully down at her to kiss him on his cheeks, causing him to blush.

“Huh?” Adrien mumbled, then watched Kagami smile at him again, watching him mirror her facial expression back, but more amorously and the Japanese student entered into the car watching Adrien close the door so that the vehicle could pull away and leave with the girl having a moony Adrien, that stood back on the sidewalk.

“Oh, what did I just see?” A voice said coming from the pocket of Adrien’s jacket. “You are interested in that girl aren’t you?” Plagg asked with a smirk as he held his head out of the pocket of his owner.

“You think I have a chance with her?”

“You’re great friends and you practically share almost all details about you two with each other. Your chances are as high as finding Camembert in a supermarket” Plagg noted earning a nod from the blonde.

“When we’re off those days at that surprise trip of Monsieur D’Argencourt I should take the chance to ask her out on a date or to just hang out with me. What do you think?”

“It's worth trying. Just be yourself and don’t be a fool” The cat kwami recounted the blonde, which nodded and walked further to the car of the Agreste’s and entered into the backseat, closing the door behind him to leave along with his bodyguard the location.

[a-sweeter-solarsystem]

Happy Pride Month to everyone, especially those whose identities aren’t often included in pride celebrations!  Big love to all of you!!   (~￣▽￣)~ ♥♥ I think I’m comfortable enough to share my coming out story to the world.  Its not full of homophobia or dark thoughts like a lot of other folks, but I feel like it’s just as important to share the stories of those who had the support system that they were afraid that they wouldn’t have.  There are people out there who can support you!  There are people out there who love you!  Coming out is scary, but don’t automatically jump to the idea that no one will accept you because that’s the only story you’ve ever heard.

I came out in February of 2014, after weeks of questioning and experimentation to figure out what labels fit me best.  At this point in my life I was transitioning from 8th grade to 9th grade, already hitting the strongest point in my depression.  I wasn’t eating, I felt terrible, my mental state was breaking and I didn’t know how to feel anymore.

I came out to my friends first, figuring if they wouldn’t understand there would be no way my parents could.  I remember sending out that text message through instagram.  I was just so scared because I’ve heard so many stories of people coming out and being shunned, tossed aside, or even disowned for being LGBT+.  I was still very new to the community as well, and with no other family close to me at the time the last thing I wanted was for something like that to happen.

But to my surprise, they understood!  They were supportive and cheered me on!  And they sat there with me over text messaging just going back and forth while I talked to them about what it would be like for me to be who I wanted to be.  I told them about my mental health as well, explaining the causes for me feeling comfortable as being bigender.  I told them about how I wasn’t comfortable with my past self, and that I wanted to change for the better so that I didn’t have to suffer mentally anymore.  And then my friend group grew more and more and they were there to support every step of my recovery.

A day or two after I came out to them, I came out to my parents.  I wrote my mom an email, figuring she would be the hardest to get through first.  I want to share a little of what she told me in the email because it still makes me tear up with joy going back and rereading it:

“ Thank you thank you for confiding in me.  I am honored that you felt comfortable coming to me. First though, let me tell you I love you.  I will love you and respect you no matter what, whether you are a guy a girl or purple and brown spots, you are my kid and I was blessed that you came into my life. This is a very difficult time in your life.  It absolutely normal to question your gender and maybe try being the other for awhile.  If dressing and looking gender neutral helps you feel more confident, then fine.  Let me know the types of clothing or hairstyle and we’ll go.  You have a rough couple of years coming up with high school and i want you to feel and do what you need to get through it.  This is something that will take time to decide.  It won’t happen over night and while one day you might be ok with how you look, your body will through a wrench and change some more. These years are not easy!  I remember. Just grin a bear it and do your best.  But I will be there for you. Do not doubt it. “

A few days later I came out to my dad.  We took a drive around the area and talked things over, and he brought me to a small diner where we just relaxed and had pie together.  He told me I needed to start being more open with things, and to tell people when something was wrong.  But you know?  He was there to dry my tears and tell me silly jokes to make me feel better. The first step was cutting my hair short.  I pulled out a few haircuts that I liked and my mum took me to the best LGBT+ friendly barber she could find.  The lady was so kind and gave me advice on how different styles would work with my hair.  I remember laughing at the large pile of fluff on the ground as my shoulder length hair was cut short.  It was so freeing!  And looking into the mirror I felt like an entirely new person! I went to therapy not long afterwards, another step to my recovery.  My first therapist was so kind and understanding, and I shared with her so many thoughts that I just couldn’t speak about without sobbing.  She would give me a small notebook to write in in case I couldn’t talk, and she would smile with the patience of a parent as I vented my thoughts out to her.  Before I had switched to a psychiatrist she gave me a small stress toy with a story behind it.  I gave her the biggest hug because I felt so blessed to have her in my life. A few months down the line and I bought my first binder.  I was so cheery!  I wore it the whole day, just smiling to myself because I finally felt comfortable in my body.  I took so many photos that day, just me smiling wearing my first binder.

I didn’t really have to come out to either of my brothers.  I was comfortable with my family using my birth name, but had just requested that they call me Lukas in public.  Even throughout high school the worse I ever experienced were a group of upperclassmen guys who would harass my friends and I during lunch.  We brought it up to my principal and he walked with us to lunch the next day and dragged the group of guys all the way across the cafeteria so they couldn’t bother us any longer. There’s been times that I’ve been asked about my name as well.  There was a sweet old substitute teacher who came up to me during class and told me that she’s here to support me no matter what I choose.  And sometimes at work customers would come up to me and ask if I was transgender.  I’d correct them, explain what being bigender meant and they would nod and talk with such kindness and understanding it almost brought me to tears.  I distinctly remember hugging one of the customers in the self checkout line, a complete stranger, but he was so understanding of my identity and so curious to learn what it was like with my identity I just couldn’t help it. This year was my first year on my own, hours away from home and in university. I was able to just be myself without an explanation.  I got to be in an entirely gender neutral dorm, with gender neutral bathrooms in a community of folks like me.  I made so many friends in one short year.  I owe a few of them so much kindness, especially my closest group who I was able to confide in with some of my strongest mental issues.  We were there for each other, to help each other bounce back and just laugh and be happy.  We could feel comfortable with who we were without ridicule.  It was so heartwarming! I am lucky to have such a comforting community supporting me: my friends, my family, my university and my work all supported me every step of the way.  If I’m ever asked questions I give them an honest answer.  I try not to hide my identity anymore, and instead be more open about who I am. It took about 5 years now before I can safely share this story and feel confident in my words.  It took five years of hard work to get to where I am today, a place where I am comfortable with myself and my labels.  I still have doubts and fears, but I’m sure we all do.  And for particularly harsh days I know that there will be someone out there to talk to and get me through the hard times. It is a long and winding road to come out.  I know not everyone has the same support that I did.  I was lucky, but I have to remind myself that this isn’t something to be ashamed of.  This is proof that there are people out there who will support and love you.  Proof that you’re not alone in whatever fight your facing physically, mentally, or even spiritually.  There are people who care.  There are people who listen.  And you just have to be there to find them.  You don’t have to suffer alone. I am so fucking proud to be bigender.  I’m proud to be asexual.  I’m proud to be biromantic and I’m so fucking proud to be akoiromantic even if it doesn’t seem like it at times.  These are aspects who make up who I am.  This is me.  I’m not some sad kid anymore.  I’m happy, I have so much to be thankful for.  And I have so many people that I want to thank for being in my life that there’s simply not enough room to share it all. Happy pride month to all of you!  I love each and every one of you!

[catalinda04]

Carried Away Chapter 49: Confessions

Masterlist

Lucy awoke stiff, exhausted, and still wrapped around Henry. She allowed herself a moment to bask in his embrace, before she slowly extricated herself from his arm, she had almost succeeded when Henry tightened his grip, and drew her close again.

“Good morning Cupcake.” He mumbled, kissing the top of her head..

“Good morning Darcy.” She replied lifting her face to his for a good morning kiss. “Would you like to explain how it is that I am wearing what I’m wearing right now?”

“You don’t remember?”

“I don’t remember anything after you took my stockings off.”

“After I rubbed your feet for a bit, you sleep-walked to the bathroom to get ready for bed. You somehow managed to take your contact lenses out without opening your eyes, it was quite a feat to behold. Then I helped you out of your dress, and into that.”

“So we didn’t…” She trailed off.

“We did not, as I mentioned, you were asleep.”

“I missed this. The lazy weekend morning, lounging in bed … snuggling … talking.” Lucy replied wistfully, burrowing into his chest.

“Well, I’m here now, and I wish nothing could drag me away.”

“You wish?”

“Well I have to leave on Wednesday, I have an appearance in Jersey next weekend, that I need to attend. Then from there it’s off to the premier next Thursday. I would love if you were able to attend with me.”

“May is such a hectic month for teachers. I’ll have to look at my calendar tomorrow and let you know. But you’ll be here for your birthday?”

“It would appear so.”

“I’ll have to plan something special then.”

“Speaking of planning something special, how about I take you out to lunch.”

“I like that idea, as I’m not 100% sure what kind of food I actually have in the kitchen, we’ll have to go to the grocery store afterward.”

Lucy showered and pulled her hair back in a ponytail. She grabbed a book while Henry was taking his shower. Not long after she heard the shower start, Lucy heard a noise coming from the kitchen table. Upon investigation, she found Henry’s phone ringing. The screen indicated that Dany was calling. Lucy answered.

“Hello. Henry’s phone.” Lucy answered.

“Lucy?” Dany asked hesitantly.

“That would be me.”

“Well, I guess that answers my question. Is everything back to rights then? Or are you answering his phone because he is currently decomposing deep in some northern Minnesota forest?”

Lucy laughed, “Just about. Henry’s in the shower.”

“Well, I was just calling to see how last night went, but I have my answer, though I do have a couple of things to discuss with Henry, if you’d have him call me later.”

“Sure thing, and Dany, thank you. Henry told me you slapped some sense into him, literally.”

“Men are stupid, some more than most, but you’ve got a good one there, he just needed to have his vision adjusted.”

“Well, again, thank you, and I’ll tell him to call you later.” She disconnected the call and put the phone back on the table. Henry’s phone reminded her to check her own. She was unsurprised to find several missed messages. Not just from Heather, and her mother, but all of the Cavill sisters-in-law had texted her, obviously Heather had shared the news. She also had over 50 Instagram notifications, the kids must have posted their pictures from the night, and tagged her school account.

She called her mom first, assuming that it would be the most difficult call to handle. Lucy dialed her parent's phone number, praying no one would answer. She wasn't that lucky. Her mother answered.

"Hi mom."

"Hi Lucy. How are you this morning."

"I'm good. Did you get the picture I sent you last night?"

"I did. I would seem you had some excitement at prom last night."

"I did." Lucy agreed.

Her mother sighed heavily. "Tell me what happened.”

“He was waiting for me when we got to the dance. He explained why he’d been stupid. I’ve forgiven him on a probationary basis.”

“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”

“I don’t think you need to know all the details, but he apologized, and explained his side of things. I believed him, and forgave him.”

“I’m just worried, it was two months, and you still weren’t back to your old self.”

“I know mom, I couldn’t get over him because I still love him. But rest assured, I am happy. And if he does hurt me again, that would be the last time. He won’t get another chance.”

Her mother sighed. “You’re a grown woman, and it’s your life. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“So you’ll be friendly to Henry when I bring him around?”

“I don’t know about friendly just yet, but I’ll be civil.”

“Can you talk to dad? Get the same promise out of him?”

“I’ll try.”

“I just wanted to let you know what was going on. I have a couple other calls to make, so I’m going to go now.”

“Ok. Bye honey.”

“Bye mom.”

Lucy disconnected the call, and scrolled to Heather’s name in her phone book. She had missed her conversations with Heather. She understood being in Henry’s life better than her other friends. She found Heather’s number in her contacts, and pressed connect.

Heather answered on the first ring.

“Hello!” Heather all but yelled into the phone.

“Hi Heather. I take it you got my text last night.”

“You could have knocked me over with a feather. First when I saw that you had texted, then I saw what you had texted. Charlie thought there had been some kind of accident, from the way I screamed when I opened the picture. So he’s come to his senses? What happened? What did he say?”

“I’m not going to go into all the details, if you want them, ask him when he’s home next weekend. If he wants you to know, he’ll tell you, or he’ll tell Charlie, and Charlie will tell you.” Lucy laughed.

“I’m so happy for you two. We could all tell he was hurting, but he wouldn’t talk to anyone about it. Not even Charlie, they tell each other practically everything. He was glad to see his brother smiling again. So what’s the plan now?”

“Well, we’re going for lunch as soon as Henry’s done in the shower.” Lucy said jokingly.

“You know I meant further than that.”

“I don’t know. We haven’t had a chance to talk about it really. I’ve been working or sleeping since he surprised me, and a noisy ballroom full of teenagers is not exactly the best environment for having any sort of deep conversations about our future.”

“Ok, well, I’ll let you go, but we’ll have to schedule a long talk soon, I want to know what’s been happening in your life. I’ve missed talking to you.”

“I’ll let you know when’s a good time. I’ve missed you too. But I have to go, Henry’s almost ready to go.”

“Ok, bye, Say hello to Hank for me and Charlie.”

“Will do. Bye!” Lucy said cheerfully, and ended the call, just as Henry came around the corner from the bathroom barefoot, in jeans and a t-shirt.

“Heather and Charlie say hi.” Lucy informed him.

“When did you talk to them?” he asked, reaching for his phone and slipping it into his pocket.

“Just now. I texted Heather last night.” She showed him the picture Emma had taken. “I missed talking to her.”

“That’s a great picture, would you send it to me?” Henry asked.

She sent the picture and they discussed where to get lunch, finally settling on Mexican. While they ate their meal, they kept the conversation neutral. Both knowing they had a major conversation looming, but not wanting to have that discussion in public.

When the check for their meals came, Henry opened his wallet to retrieve enough cash to cover it. Lucy noticed a very familiar shade of teal poking up from the section of his wallet where bills are kept. Henry made to put his wallet back in his pocket, but Lucy put her hand over his, stalling his action. She lightly took the wallet, and opened it. Producing her letter from its depths. When she had written the letter, the paper had been crisp and new. Now the edges were tattered and dirty, while the folds had gone soft, as though the paper had been opened and refolded numerous times. Lucy raised her eyes to Henry’s. “How many times have you read this?” she asked tentatively.

“I’ve read it at least once a day for the last month. It’s been the last thing I saw before going to sleep and the first thing I saw when I woke for a month. I didn’t find it until I went home to Jersey for Easter. I guess you could say I’ve been torturing myself with it since then.” He said, his eyes shining with remembered pain.

“Oh, Henry.” she said, covering his hands with hers. They were silent for several long seconds before Lucy wiped the tears from her eyes. “Why don’t we go home. I feel like we have a lot to say to each other.” Lucy said quietly, sliding out of the booth. Henry slid out too. Lucy took his hand in hers, needing to feel connected to him.

They drove the short distance back to Lucy’s house in silence, each lost in their thoughts. Lucy poured herself a glass of water, and sat on one end of the couch, with her legs tucked underneath her. Henry assumed a similar pose on the opposite end of the couch. Lucy smiled, thinking how such a large man could look so small. They stared at each other for several minutes, sorting their thoughts, neither wanting to be the first to speak.

Finally, unable to stand the quiet Lucy started. “Henry, I love you.”

Henry cut her off, “Darling, I never doubted that you love me.” he said, but Lucy stopped him.

“Let me say this. Henry, I love you, but you hurt me. You hurt me more than anyone or anything ever has. I trusted you. I gave myself to you, body and soul, and it felt like you just threw it away. Things were so good between us, and then they just weren’t, then you were gone. And I was left wondering what I had done wrong. I cried for weeks. And I tried to pull myself out, but normally when I’m down, I watch Pride and Prejudice. But I couldn't, at the first mention of Mr. Darcy, I started bawling again. Then I got mad. You ruined Pride and Prejudice for me.” Lucy stopped, as her eyes started to tear again.

Henry saw his window, and jumped in. “Lucy, I love you. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I genuinely thought I was doing it for your benefit. First I saw you in your classroom, with your students. They adore you, and you them. Teaching is what you were born to do. Then you said you didn’t know what you would do if you weren’t teaching. I did some research to find out if you could teach in the UK. I didn’t understand everything, but it seemed like a possibility. So I asked you if you’d ever consider moving to Europe. You said it was too far away from your family. So I did what I thought was the right thing, and I left.”

Lucy’s eyes had taken on a distant look, before she gasped and covered her mouth. “Henry, is that why you asked if I’d ever considered moving to Spain?” When he nodded in response she continued, “Henry, I said I didn’t want to move to Spain because it was too far away from my family, AND because I didn’t know anyone there. If I moved to London to be with you, I would have people. I’d have you, and your brothers, and sisters-in-law, and nephews. I’d have a family there. When I said that I meant I didn’t want to move by myself.”

“I realized that after I read your letter, but by then I had been gone for over a month, and, I guess I was embarrassed at my behavior. I kept your letter with me, as a reminder of what we had shared. Before the letter, I had my conviction that I was doing the right thing for you, but after I knew I had thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to me. It took Dany shaking me out of my head, and hitting some sense into me,” he smiled at the joke, “for me to realize that I had to try. Even if you kicked me out, I could see you again.”

“When I saw you waiting there, I didn’t know what to do. I was angry, and sad, and hopeful. And you looked so good standing there in that suit.” She smiled.

“I’ve never been as nervous in my life, as I was standing there, waiting for you to arrive, then watching you decide if you wanted to come talk to me.” he smiled.

“You’ve got Emma to thank for that.”

“Then I believe flowers are in store for Emma this week.”

“She’d like that.” Lucy said thoughtfully.

“Lucy, I know it’s going to take some time for us to be comfortable together again, but please, tell me what you’re thinking. All of this could have been solved, if I had just said what I really thought. I’ll promise to do the same.”

“I can do that. In fact, I’ll tell you what I’m thinking right now. Right now I’m thinking how long it’s been since I’ve really kissed you.” she said, crawling across the couch to him.

“And I’m thinking that we should change that right now.” he smiled, pulling her to him. Their lips came together tentatively. Taking the time to re-learn each other. Henry unfolded his legs, and scooted down to lay on the couch, with Lucy on top of him. Their kisses varied from sweet and light to hot and deep. Henry’s hands slowly caressed Lucy’s back, eventually resting on her bum. Slowly his hands moved back up to the hem of her shirt, slipping underneath. When his hands made contact with her bare back, she stopped, and pulled away from the kiss.

“Henry, I…” she stammered, “...I don’t think I’m ready for us to make love again. My heart has forgiven you, but my head is a stubborn bitch. She won’t let me forget the pain and heartache so fast. So can we just lay here and snog for a while, but know that it’s not going to go any further than that?”

“Of course, Cupcake. I don’t want to rush you into anything.” He gave her quick peck, “you said, snog.” he laughed at her.

“Before you left, I was trying to work more Britishisms into my speech, and snog is a fun one. Fun to say, fun to do.”

“I agree.” he said capturing her mouth again.

Much later, when both of their jaws had grown tired, Lucy and Henry walked the few short blocks to Emma’s house to retrieve Henry’s rental. They knocked, and Emma answered promptly. One glance at Lucy’s face told Emma all she needed to know. Her friend was happy, and she was going to be supportive.

“Hey Em, thanks for driving it home last night. It saved us a lot of time. And thanks for helping chaperone. Did you have a good time?”

“I did, except my date dumped me.” she winked.

“Sorry, he’s cuter than you are.” Lucy retorted. “But we need to be going. Henry has some phone calls to make and I need to go to the grocery store. See you tomorrow!” Henry drove Lucy back to her house. He parked and went inside to call Dany, while she went grocery shopping.

Lucy wandered the aisles of the grocery store, her head in a fog. Henry was back. He still loved her. He hadn’t come out and said it, but he’d implied that he wanted her to move to London with him. It was amazing how much her life could change in 24 hours.

When she arrived back home, Lucy called Heather. Henry’s sister-in-law had been a great friend to her during the two months they’d known each other, before the split. It had been almost as hard for Lucy to lose Heather as it had been to lose Henry. But now she had them both back.

The two women chattered away like magpies. Catching up on each other’s lives since the last time they’d talked. Lucy heard all about Heather’s photography adventures, and Charlie’s skiing excursions. “Why weren’t you skiing?” Lucy asked Heather.

“Henry didn’t tell you?” Heather asked shocked.

“We haven’t really had much time for talking about another other than us.” Lucy explained.

“I was too sick to go skiing.” Heather said, and Lucy was about to ask what was wrong, when Heather continued. “Morning sickness is a bitch.” She said elatedly.

“You’re pregnant! Oh! Congratulations!” Lucy exclaimed.

“We told everyone over Easter. It’s the reason we all got together for Easter, we normally don’t. But I’m not just pregnant. It’s a girl!”

“Ah!” Lucy screamed! “The first Cavill girl in 3 generations! What did Marianne say? She must have been elated.”

“We haven’t told them yet that it’s a girl. We’re going to tell them when we’re there this weekend, so swear Hank to secrecy.” Heather warned.

“Oh, I will. Oh, Heather! Congratulations! When are you due?” Lucy asked.

“Early October. I’d love if you could come for a baby shower. It’s not that far to fly. I know Marianne will try to come, but the other sisters-in-law I don’t think will be able to. I’d love to have you there.”

“Just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there. If I lived closer, I’d even bake the cake, but cakes don’t fly well.”

“I’ll keep you posted. Oh Marianne is going to be so happy next weekend. Henry is back together with you, and happy, and she’s finally getting the granddaughter she’s always wanted.”

“2015 is shaping up to be quite spectacular.” Lucy agreed.

Chapter 48              Chapter 50

[pillowfluffs]

Caretaker!Minhyuk

Pairing: Minhyuk X Reader ft. other members (Gender Neutral) 

Genre: Caretaker!AU, fluffffff, slightest angst?

Summary: You love the rain but you hate the thunder that comes with it, but it's okay, you have your loving, sunshine boyfriend Minhyuk to take care of you!

Author’s Note: I don’t have any ideas on what their dorm looks like so if there ever was a dorm tour video, I never saw it. This story was inspired by Monsta Xray season 1 episode 5 where you can watch here! Well only for the first half; how you two met is based on that episode. And it’s the cutest thing in the world omg if you’re not dead after it, are you human?? Anyways, here is another addition to the Caretaker! series which leaves Hyungwon as the last one, coming out next week. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated and please look forward to more works in the future!

Other Caretakers! Hyunwoo // Wonho // Minhyuk // Kihyun // Hyungwon // Jooheon // Changkyun

Suggestion: Read with rain and thunder audio! 

The sky was clear with blue skies, light traffic flowed through the streets as you walked wearing jeans and a black shirt and sneakers. Music from your earbuds filled your ears, the bass boosted music with the upbeat rhythm of your boyfriend and his group’s music. The deep impactful lyrics resonated with your soul as they sang the main chorus “I can be your hero!” This entire song has you having an entire rave in your head as you internally bellowed the lyrics, walking with a light bounce. You slowly began approaching the familiar building where your boyfriend along with the other members of his group lived. The two of you have been happily together about a month, meeting him at a little daycare center, picking up your baby sister after your dad had dropped her off from work.

You entered the colorful daycare that you went to when you were her age, about a year and a half old, when you noticed how much fuller it was with camera crews and men in the light green and orange vests, going around and playing with children. You were so soft seeing your little sister running to a man sitting on the ground with his arms out, catching her as she practically flung herself against him with his coconut esque dark brown almost black hair, her small arms barely reaching all the way around him. It was so adorable making your heart flutter and warm up at the sight since your sister was shy, especially with new people yet here she was after just a few hours hugging a stranger so fondly. It took you about a week or two until she got used to you, as she used to crawl and follow you around and want you to hold her as your parents rushed to work most of the time. He smiled at her as if a father would to his own daughter, stroking her head with her short hair and face, how small her head was compared to his one hand. You could see her smiling and laughing into his face as she sat on his lap, bringing her small hands to cover her eyes as his hand supported her back as she leaned in them.

“Ah, you’re so adorable~” he used a baby voice, teasing her making her giggle. You could feel your heart melting at the scene before you. You practically froze there, feeling your heart racing from how kind he was and gentle as if he was already a father but you were able to tell he and the other teachers weren’t from the cameras recording them.

“Hello, Y/N, are you here to pick up L/S/N?” The sweet sound of the kind voice of the woman who was your teacher when you went here approached you, taking your attention from the man to her.

“Oh, yes, my parents are working late so they sent me.” You nodded as you glanced from the older teacher back to your sister, still seeing her in the man’s arms as they played peek-a-boo with each other.

“Ah, I see, I’ll go fetch her then.” The elderly teacher gave you a warm smile before turning around and head towards the carpeted bookshelf area where he sat. You watched him as his eyes quickly glanced up towards the teacher, his eyes full of light as your sister clung on to him. It wasn’t long before your sister had heard your name and looked towards the door where all the shoes and coats were. She crawled out of the man’s lap as he stood afterward, watching your baby sister run with a small bounce and waddle as she made her way over to you, smiling a gummy, her arms out reaching out for her as you did the same, ready to catch her if she fell. You knelt down on the small step that went from the entrance and coat area to the classroom, seeing the man’s figure follow behind.

“Hi~ L/S/N,” cooed as she did a tiny jump into your arms, nuzzling her face against the crook of your neck as you gave her a tight but gently squeeze around her little body. “Ah, you’re the best little sister!” You thought to yourself and looked up to see the man.

“Ah, you must be L/S/N’s sibling?” His voice was friendly, along with his features, how his smile made you feel warm as if he was radiating the warmest aura, warmer than the sun. He bowed politely as you stood up, holding your sister as she clung her small arms around your neck but looked out towards the teacher with a smile and reached out her small right hand towards him. He smiled and gave his hand to her, letting her hold his fingers.

You nodded and smiled as you shifted your body as well so she could be closer to him. “And you are?” You were a bit shy, but just by being around this man made you feel like as if you already knew him, which was a first for you since he was a stranger.

“Ah, she’s so cute~” He clenched his heart with his other hand, making your sister laugh. “I’m Minhyuk of Monsta X. We were filming a segment for our show, Monsta X-Ray.” He stood back up, looking into your eyes as you stared, your eyes had a shine which enraptured him.

You felt as if you were in a trance and all you wanted to do around this man was smile. “Oo, that’s really cool, I hope you guys had fun, it looks like you did.” You looked past him into the classrooms smiling, seeing and hearing the happiness of many young children, running around chasing or being chased by the teachers.

Minhyuk looked at you, he could feel his heart racing a bit quicker than normal and his face and ears burning up just a bit as he observed your features, which was strange since he wasn’t a shy member or person at all; he was always bubbly and never shied away, until meeting and speaking with you. “What’s going on?..” He couldn’t quite wrap his head around his personal issue at the moment, but he was sort of excited to be feeling this way. “Yeah, uh we did.” He coughed a bit, looking down at his fingers as they constantly moved, fidgeting with each other until he stopped. “Ah, I’ll go fetch her coat,” his voice was gentle as he looked back to you, kneeling on the ground on one leg as your other leg was stuck out for your sister to sit in it, your little sister holding your face with her small hands, reaching forward to press a kiss against your lips. He left back toward the coat rack, scanning for L/S/N’s coat.

“Is someone being picked up?” The familiar voice of the main vocalist of the group and mom of the group, Yoo Kihyun. He glanced up from his search, seeing the familiar light pink hair as he wore a yellow sweater with the green and orange apron over it. He stepped in carrying a one-year-old, sleeping in his arms after being tired out from running/ crawling around with his tiny arms wrapped around his neck and Kihyun supporting him with one arm below his bottom and his other hand resting on the small boy’s back.

“Yeah, L/S/N is.” He concentrated finally finding the jacket, buried deep hidden between two coats. His voice was monotone as he spoke, removing the hanger off the small coat, about to return it when Kihyun stood in the way.

“What’s up?” Kihyun stood in his way, one eyebrow raised higher as he looked at his member with a curious expression. “You don’t sound like.. You and it’s a bit offsetting.”

Minhyuk sighed, glancing back towards the entrance way where you were, hearing your voice and your little sister’s voice, as you two had a mini conversation which just made his heart melt; how you were so kind and he didn’t know anything about you yet he was intrigued by you, wanting to know you more. “I don’t even know, I have this feeling and it makes me feel.. Shy I guess when I talk to her.” He gestured to you in the room as he talked to Kihyun.

Kihyun carefully peeped over to the entrance, seeing you and your little sister, seeing how you gently smiled into her face, brushing small strands out of her eyes, making cute faces at her. He looked back to Minhyuk, seeing him peeking over to you too, an expression plastered on his face as if he was in class, learning more about his favorite subject. “You like her~” Kihyun’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape, trying to contain a smile, for the first time, seeing Minhyuk act this way.

“Do I? Ah, I don’t know what to do,” Minhyuk’s voice dripped anxiety, feeling nervous on what to neck and how he should talk to you. “I want to know her more..” Minhyuk didn’t have an idea on what to do, he hadn’t really felt this way nor acted this way.

“Ask her out.” The next thing Minhyuk knew, he was being pushed out towards you by Kihyun, but it was too late to react, as he stumbled into the room into your arms. He felt the heat rising to his face even more as he was much closer to you now, able to see details in your face.

“A-are you okay?” You felt shy yourself, feeling happy, however, that you had your sister sit in one of the waiting chairs on the side. You looked into his dark brown eyes, seeing his hair, how soft it looked, wondering if it was natural or not, considering you saw a teacher earlier with blondish white hair with blue tips. You could feel his body heat as your hands were placed around his waist.

“Oh, I’m fine, uh thank you,” his voice was flustered, hoping you wouldn't notice. Minhyuk felt heat slowly rising as he stood in your arms, being so close to you.

You soon realized you were staring at him for a bit too long, seeing another teacher with pink hair looking out to the two of you. “Uh, I’m sorry.” You move your arms off him, taking a step back. “Ugh, why am I like this?” you internally cringed at yourself.

He smiled as he now saw you flustered. “Oh, right. Here’s her jacket.” He handed you her jacket. He looked into your eyes, enraptured by them and how bright and how soft they were.

“Ah, thank you.” You took her jacket from his hands and turned towards your little sister who watched everything, but she was still too young to understand so she just sat there playing with her shoes. You lifted her off the seat, making her stand and had her spread out her arms so you could help her put on the jacket as you knelt before her. Normally, she would let you with ease, but this time, she walked towards you, reaching up for her coat. “Are you gonna do it by yourself?” You handed her the jacket, speaking with a slight baby voice. She took her jacket and began to walk behind you towards Minhyuk who watched everything making his heart a puddle for you and your sister.

He knelt down as she walked towards him, a smile on her face with her arms out holding her jacket. “Do you want me to help you?” He spoke playfully to her with a big smile on his face, taking the jacket nicely from her. She nodded her head and giggled in response, sticking her arms out as she usually would when you asked. “Okay~” He carefully helped her with his attention fully on her, making sure he didn’t hurt her in any way, shape, or form. “There you go. Ah, you’re so cute!” He placed his fingertips on her chubby cheeks, making her giggle. She ran forward with her arms open toward him, throwing herself at him and wrapping her short arms as much as she could around him.

“Aw, she likes you so much.” Your heart raced at the scene before you. You had never seen your shy sister down anything like this other than to you or your parents. You sat there on your knees, smiling.

Minhyuk glanced back at you, flashing a smile. “Not as cute as you,” his voice was quiet but he knew you heard what he said when he looked up to you, seeing your cheeks blushing. “Oh my gosh, I just did that.” He realized he had spoken his thoughts out, now making him cringe internally.

“Ah um, thank you.” You smiled at him. You could feel second-hand embarrassment but you figured you might as well make him feel better since you thought the same thing. “Would you want to get some coffee sometime?” You braved yourself internally for rejection. “Of course he’s gonna say no, dummy. You two just met and he’s an idol,” you mentally scolded yourself.

“You can say n-“

“I’d love to,” Minhyuk smiled, his heart racing in his ears. “I can’t believe I did it... Omgomg.” Minhyuk’s mind raced with the possible day. “Uh, what day?” Minhyuk could feel a warm fuzziness bloom in his stomach, feeling nervous, but excited at the same time.

“Mm, when are you free? I’m free on weekends and I know you’re an idol so you must be busy with your schedule and all.” The music industry was tough; idols trained for years to debut, some unfortunately either never to debut or they fail, making them quit or be cut by their company.

From there on, the two of you met again a few days later at a coffee shop a few blocks away from your home. He arrived wearing a gray sweater with a black jacket and ripped jeans and a black snapback with a mask covering his face while you wore a white shirt with light blue jeans with your shirt tucked in the front with vans.

He sat at a table towards the back corner of the cafe, fidgeting with his hands waiting for your arrival but stood up immediately as soon as you approached him. He pulled your seat out and ordered coffee, and from there, sparks were ignited between you two. You two sat there for probably hours making conversation as if you two had known each other from a past life and just catching up with each other.

Now here you were, approaching their dorm as you listened to music. The sky was clear, not a cloud in sight. “The weather channel lied... It’s not even gonna rain,” you thought to yourself as you looked up at the clear sunny sky as you approached their building. You entered with a key badge Minhyuk had given you so he wouldn’t have to come down every time. You felt the cool breeze of the air conditioning blowing against your face as you entered pass the double doors. You made your way up the stairs, continuing to listen to music. You couldn’t help but smile as you thought of your surprise date and how it would go. You approached the dorm, hearing music and the light clanging noise of what you assumed were dishes through the door.

Minhyuk scanned around the kitchen and to the living room, seeing everything was perfect. After a few days, he was finally able to make the guys leave the dorm so he could have you all to himself without worrying about hearing any laughing or whispers of how cringey he was being with you. The sound of the microwave went off, signaling the end of the popcorn being popped. He had popped two bags since you guys were going to be watching movies throughout the entirety of the day. He opened the microwave, pulling out two bags of popcorn and pouring them into the large bowl he put to the side on the counter. The warm aroma of butter and popcorn spread through the kitchen as the popcorn filled the bowl. He tossed the bag into the trashcan before he heard the knock of you at the door.

You put away your earbuds as Minhyuk opened the door, the savory smell of popcorn which you could almost taste as you entered. He smiled at you, literally being brighter than the sun itself. “Hey~” You wrapped your arms around his body as he did the same, swaying gently as the two of you embraced each other warmly. “Are you ready?” He slowed down the swaying, looking downwards at you.

“Always.” You smiled, stepping up onto your tippy toes to press a kiss on his cheek. You slipped off your shoes, following Minhyuk, noticing how empty and quiet was without the other members around as you stepped in. They usually would lounge about the dorm, not all of them though, but those around would say hi and tease Minhyuk playfully. “Where is everyone?” You stood leaning against the kitchen entranceway, watching Minhyuk as he grabbed the large bowl of hot popcorn.

“I had them go out, so tonight, there won’t be any teasing or any disruptions during our movie marathon!” Minhyuk smiled, pulling you towards the living room where he had got out extra pillows and blankets. “I compiled a bunch of movies from the times you told me you wanted to watch when they came out but never got the chance to due to our own schedules, so.” He placed down the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table which was moved to the side. “Ta-da!”

“Aw, I love it.” You smiled, wrapping your arms around Minhyuk’s torso as you saw the curtains drawn shut as fairy lights were strung from the ceiling, lighting the room ever so gently as they slowly twinkled. He had moved the small table out of the way, placing down blankets along with pillows allowing the two of you to learn your heads on the couch while sitting on the ground. You slowly stepped into the blankets as he followed suit, tucking you in as he brought the popcorn, placing it between the two you. His arm was wrapped around you as he grabbed the remote, playing the movie you had recently been dying to see.

The two of you had sat there for hours upon hours, movie after movie of various genres. There had been moments during movies where the two of you would go from laughing to crying to even screaming. You guys had moved up from your place on the ground to the couch since your bottoms were getting a bit too sore on the hardwood floors, now maying it even warmer and softer for you two to nuzzle up even closer. A romance movie now played on the screen, as it neared the end, even making you tear up a bit, which was unlike you to cry until a sudden boom had caught your attention, making you jump a bit.

“What happened? Are you okay?” Minhyuk felt you jump in your arms as if someone had scared you or something/ He scanned your body seeing no harm done.

“I think, it was just thunder..” You got up from your spot, walking over to the closed curtain on your left, pulling it open to see darkened clouds from above, rolling fast, seeming endless. A bright flash of lightning followed by another crack of thunder filled your ears and sight, sounding as if it were about to crack the sky open. You jumped back, suddenly feeling a warm brace wrapping around from behind you.

“Woah, the sky’s so dark,” Minhyuk’s voice was astonished at the sight before him. Just as the words fell from his lips, heavy rain began to pour with a roar. He looked down to see pedestrians on the streets scurrying into nearby convenience stores for shelter from the rain. The sound of the rain drowned out the light, sweet music of the movie credits from the tv, disrupted by the loud gregarious boom of thunder once again, making the dorm ground vibrate. The wind blew, making the branches of trees whip back and forth, their leaves being turned so their pale colored underside was seen.

You flinched, sucking in a breath of air. You grasped onto Minhyuk’s arms, your body stiffening on its own as your eyes were glued outside.

“Are you scared, sunshine?” He playfully nudged you, his smile disappearing, however when he realized you were not smiling in return, instead, you grew paler. “Sunshine?”

You hated to admit you were scared of thunder, especially for your age since you were almost two years younger than Minhyuk. But you knew you would have to tell him sooner or later to avoid moments like these. “Thunder... Isn’t my.. Particular favorite thing in the world..” Memories of your childhood flashed into your mind, recalling nights where you spent crying silently to yourself as thunder and rain concealed the night sky filled with stars. Your parents were always working hard, always coming home late while you were already sleeping, leaving for work before you woke. You and your parents hadn’t seen much of each other but the love never wavered between you three.

“Oh, I’m sorry... Let’s want another movie? Hm?” He could feel how uneasy you were to the thunder, similar to how uneasy Jooheon felt whenever they made him do something he was scared of. He began ushering you away from the window, closing the curtain though it barely changed the sound of the chaos of nature outside.

You turned away, following Minhyuk as he guided you, sitting you on the couch gently, tucking you in with the blanket before he made his way over to the tv, choosing another movie to watch. You couldn’t help but tense up a bit every time thunder rumbled outside. It was completely harmless, especially since you were inside, yet it was just something you couldn’t control. You took deep breaths, trying to put a brave face on since you didn’t want to seem like a scaredy cat in front of your boyfriend.

“Gotta choose a movie to help soothe Y/N,” Minhyuk thought to himself, contemplating on which movie to put in. The light began flickering as the howling of the wind outside had grew harder. All sounds in the room grew silent, except for the rain as it continued to pound against the glass. “I, uh, hope the members are okay.” He changed the subject, looking back at you with a warm smile with which you returned with the same.

You caught on, continuing it. You just wanted your mind off of the rumbling outside. “Where did they go?” Your voice was light. “Did they tell you where they were going? Or-” The words were caught in your throat as the power went out, darkness filled the room. A slight pang of panic filled you before Minhyuk appeared before you.

“Hey, shh, I got you.” You didn’t realize you had frozen, beginning to feel nervous even though you were completely safe. There was nothing to be worried about, but it had been a while since you had heard a storm. Every time a storm came on, you had just listened to music instead, reading a book as classical or any genre of music played on your phone. You didn’t even care what genre, as long as you didn’t hear any of the low booms from the sky. Minhyuk pulled your head into the space between his head and shoulders, petting your hair.

You snaked your arms around him, holding him firmly within your grasp as if it would make the storm disappear, but it was worth the shot since he was your sunshine.

“Here, it’ll be quieter in my room since the window’s smaller.” He pulled you up gently, leading you down their dorm hallway which leads to their shared bedrooms. Minhyuk slept on the lower bunk so the two of you laid down on his bed as he sat on the outer side of the bed, letting you be on the inside next to the wall. A hold for his ipad allowed him to watch shows or movies, allowing him to be comfortable as he laid in bed. He laid down next to you, putting on one of the movies you wanted to watch, fortunately on metflicks.

You naturally nuzzled yourself around him, breathing in his natural scent. The room was cold from the air conditioning, but you were warmed up against him, his blanket over your bodies. “Sorry..” You felt guilty, feeling as if you ruined your date.

“Y/N, never say sorry for something like this, please,” his voice was firm, yet caring. He turned his head so he made direct eye contact with you, staring into your soul. “I will always take care of you.” He smiled, pressing a long kiss against your forehead before peppering your face, making you laugh a little.

“Thank you.” A warm feeling filled you as the two of you laid there, continuing to watch movies in bed, no longer hearing the storm outside.

~~~~~

Masterlist for more!

[libraryscarf]

Payback

Yukine flung the door open again, not even bothering to hide how eagerly he’d been eavesdropping. “How did it—” He stopped short, surveying the broken man in front of him. His tone shifted completely. “Okay. What happened.” Yato gripped his hair with both hands, digging his forehead into the wall. “The lavender mocha guy,” he whispered in horror.

Chapter 4: The “Date” ( ao3 / ff.net )

Yato stared at the phone in his hand. His thumb had been hovering over the “dial” button for the better part of two minutes. Yukine pushed the bedroom door open, and with a yelp, Yato flung the phone across the room.

“Knock?” he screeched. Yukine gave him a withering look, dragging his eyes from Yato to the phone lying facedown on the floor.

“You were doing something stupid,” he said. It was more of an observation than a question.

Yato reached into his hair and pulled a clump of bangs over his forehead. He exhaled. “Last night went…less than perfect.”

Even with the hair across his eyes, he could feel Yukine’s smirk. “And who could have foreseen that?” he asked snidely.

Yato glared at him through his bangs.

“I just thought I should talk to her about it,” he admitted, after a second of expectant silence. “So it won’t be so rocky the next time. We could…work on our story. Just so we’re not met with any surprises.”

Yukine nodded in thought. “That is a smart plan.”

Yato’s head snapped up, because for once, it didn’t sound like Yukine was making fun of him. “It is?” he said in a bewildered voice.

Yukine didn’t answer immediately. Instead he walked over, plucked the phone off the floor, and handed it back to Yato with a mocking gleam in his eye.

“If you can call her.” Each word was a direct jab into Yato’s bruised ego, and he snatched the phone back in irritation.

“Of course I can call her,” he snarled, punching the dial button before he gave himself a chance to chicken out for the umpteenth time.

As the other end of the line rang, Yato’s heart climbed into his ears, but he told himself it wasn’t. Because this? This was a normal thing friends did. And he was friends with Hiyori now. They were friends. They got along well. Just friends, running a con on her family. Just friends, who sometimes kissed each other, and who, afterwards, found it impossible to think of anything else. And it was nice to be Hiyori’s friend, because she was thoughtful, and funny, and sweet, and because she smelled like gardens, and because when he spoke to her she had this look on her face that made his every word seem important and memorable, and because he wanted very, very badly to kiss her again, except not in front of her parents, but somewhere else, dim and magical and private, and maybe then when he kissed her he would be able to say a few of the things that quivered in winged frenzy against his breastbone when he was near her, and maybe then—

“Hello?”

Yato was yanked back to earth, disoriented and blushing.

“Hey,” he said. A stupid grin melted across his face at the sound of her voice. He was pleased to hear that his own sounded quite deep and husky. Yukine rolled his eyes.

When Hiyori didn’t immediately reply, Yato said: “It’s me.” The grin evaporated. Nice. Way to go. He kneaded a knuckle into his eye.

Yukine rolled his eyes again, so hard that his whole head moved. Then he backed out of the room, mouthing “good luck” as he quietly shut the door behind him.

There was a scuffling on Hiyori’s end of the line, as though she were rustling through papers.

“Sorry,” she said. Her voice was coming thin and distant, like she had set the phone down somewhere in the room with her. There was a lot more noise, then a loud sound that might have been a door.

“Sorry again,” she said after a few more seconds. Her voice was much clearer now, and Yato could easily imagine the frown pulling at her lips. “I forgot how much crap I left lying around my old room.”

“Crap?”

“High school worksheets, mostly. Though I did just find a piece of notebook paper covered entirely in unflattering doodles of my bio teacher. No one’s eyebrows should look like that.”

Yato stifled a snort. There was silence on the line for a few seconds. Then Hiyori let her breath out, crackling static in his ear.

“So,” she said. “Last night.”

Yato winced. “Yeah…I’m. Um. I’m really sorry—”

“No, no,” she interrupted. “It worked beautifully. My parents were beyond fooled.”

Yato struggled to not sound incredulous when he said: “Really?”

She sighed again. Despite the news of their success, she sounded low and dejected.

“Yep. On top of that, my mom loves you so much she wants to invite you over.” She paused. “To our house.”

Yato’s gut clenched. “Oh.”

“Exactly.” Hiyori gave a soft, nervous laugh. Something bloomed within Yato’s chest at the sound. He fought to trample it as he said:

“Well—do you, um, want to still want to…to keep this up?”

“Of course!” Her reply was instantaneous. “The more they think I’m off the market entirely, the better my life will be in the long run.”

Yato’s mind jumped to Fujisaki, and his hungry, reflectionless eyes stripping the meat off Hiyori’s body.

“Yes,” he said firmly. “I think you’re right.”

For a minute, they were both silent.

“So, uh. Do you want to to…hang out?”

Yato heard himself ask the question before he could stop his mouth from forming it. He winced with his whole body. For a full three seconds, the silence roared against his ear. He entertained serious thoughts of impaling himself on a curtain rod.

“Sure,” said Hiyori.

Yato nearly dropped the phone.

“Sure!” he repeated. He coaxed his mouth into a neutral line, so she wouldn’t hear how hard he was grinning.

“It’ll be good to talk about our cover,” she said, before he could say more. “So we don’t have any more calls that are quite that close.”

A bit of his grin melted into a small puddle at the bottom of his gut. “…Right.”

“Do you like coffee?” she asked.

“I love coffee.” He did not love coffee. It was, at best, a passing acquaintanceship.

Hiyori’s voice brightened. “Perfect! I’ll meet you at Heaven Roastery? Twenty minutes?”

“Yep!” he said. “I love their…uh…” He stumbled through a rapid and completely silent Google search, discovered that the roastery was a staggeringly overpriced café about four blocks from his house, and scanned the online menu, “I love their…white…lavender mocha.”

He wrinkled his nose, realizing that he was now locked into ordering a six-dollar drink that sounded like it would be served in a flowerpot.

Hiyori’s voice was bemused. “Really?”

He was committed to it. Once again, his mouth took the reins.

“Yeah. They totally know me there. When I walk in they’re all like, ‘Hey, it’s the lavender mocha guy’.”

Yato fisted one hand in his hair, yanking some of it out. What are you doing, what are you doing, what are you—

“Wow, I go there all the time and I’ve never seen you!”

“Haha. That’s crazy.” He slumped against the wall, letting his forehead knock against it with a dull thud.

“Well, then.” Hiyori paused. “I’ll see you soon?”

Yato, pressing his face against the wall, stopped himself from ripping out some more of his hair. “Yep! See you soon.”

He heard her hung up, and let the phone slide from his fingers. It clattered to the floor. As soon as he heard the noise, Yukine flung the door open again, not even bothering to hide how eagerly he’d been eavesdropping.

“How did it—” He stopped short, surveying the broken man in front of him. His tone shifted completely. “Okay. What happened.”

Yato gripped his hair with both hands, digging his forehead into the wall. “The lavender mocha guy,” he whispered in horror.

The next moment, he snatched the phone from the floor, threw on a jacket, and combed his fingers through his hair to reduce some of the damage he had caused in his emotional turbulence.

“I have to go,” he said in response to his roommate’s confused sputtering. He rushed out the door, slamming it behind him.

The house shook on its foundations, leaving Yukine with the sense that he had just witnessed the aftermath of a natural disaster.

: : :

Hiyori arrived at the café four minutes early. She hadn’t realized she was expecting to get there ahead of Yato, but she couldn’t hide the jolt of surprise when she saw him already sitting at one of the round window tables. The door shut behind her, and the bell attached to it tinkled softly. Yato’s head turned, and their eyes met.

The bubble of surprise, rather than dissipating in her nerves, blossomed like ink in water. Hiyori wasn’t sure it even was surprise anymore. It was turning into something else—something that tingled under her skin when he looked at her, or when he smiled at her.

Like he was right now.

“You got here quickly,” she commented, sitting down across from him. She tried not to think too much about how warm her face had gotten, and kept her eyes fixed on his hands, which rested on the table in front of him. His thumbs were active, drumming on the pastel mosaic of the tabletop. He had sharp, long fingers. The delicate skeletal architecture of the bones was almost miraculous.

Hiyori had never noticed them before. She had never looked.

Angry heat bloomed across her face and neck, and she tore her eyes away from his hands, glaring at the menu behind the coffee bar like it had personally insulted her.

“I didn’t have anything else to do,” Yato said. Hiyori couldn’t decide if it was phrased in admission or condescension.

“Mm,” she said. She kept her eyes fixed on the menu and started to wonder if her cheeks would ever cool down.

Yato’s drink arrived. The waitress, her expression bewildered, set it down in front of him. He shot her a meaningful glance.

“Uh. Here’s your usual,” she said hastily.

“Thanks, Aiha.” He beamed at her, which sent her scuttling back behind the counter, the dusting of a blush on her face that had most definitely not been there before. Hiyori, her eyes still burning a hole through the menu, did not notice any of this.

Yato took an experimental sip of his white lavender mocha (which had not arrived in a flowerpot, but in an ornamental mason jar with a sprig of lavender decorating the rim), wrinkled his nose, and set it back on the table. At the soft clink, Hiyori looked back at him.

“So,” he said, then hesitated. His thumbs took up their rhythm again, and a crease started to form between his eyebrows.

Hiyori cleared her throat louder than she needed to, as though doing so would help clear the air.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

Yato’s thumbs went still. “You’re sorry?” he repeated.

“For…the, um. For kissing you like that.” She lowered her eyes to the table in front of her. “I’m sorry. It was…I panicked.”

He was silent for a few seconds.

“It’s okay,” he said finally, but there was no backbone to it. Hiyori felt that it wasn’t okay, and that, furthermore, she had injured him by apologizing.

“Hey! We would have had to do that at some point, right?” he said quickly. She looked back up at him, and he was smiling again. It was a warm, crooked smile, and something in the soft place beneath her ribs brightened like a flower under the sun.

“Yeah, probably,” she admitted, sheepishly.

“Though I didn’t really think it would be in front of your mom, your grandparents, your stalker—”

Hiyori snorted so loudly that the waitress looked up at them from behind the coffee bar.

“Can it be called ‘stalking’ if it’s sanctioned by both my immediate and extended family?” she asked. It was only half a joke.

Above his coffee, Yato raised his eyebrows. “Does he tend to show up in places or situations where you aren’t expecting him?”

Hiyori stared at her hands, frowning. “Well...”

“Does he act invasive and disrespectful of your privacy and personal space?”

Her frown deepened. Her eyes flickered up, catching Yato’s. His were wide and earnest. She couldn’t answer.

“And—most importantly—do you want to be around him?”

Hiyori gave a brief, vigorous shake of her head. She disliked Fujisaki with every nerve in her system; the mere suggestion of his presence, even now, made her gut tighten with anxiety. She had never felt safe around him. She harbored the firm belief that he would pounce on her throat if they were ever alone together.

“I don’t,” she said softly. She hardly noticed the quiet clink of the coffee cup against the table as the waitress set it down next to her hand.

Yato set his own cup on the table and spoke to her, lowering his voice so the waitress, who had been glancing curiously at them for the last several minutes, couldn’t hear.

“I…do have an idea of what you must be feeling. I hope that doesn’t sound presumptuous. I…I just—” He cleared his throat, like there was something physical blocking the words from coming out. “I know how it feels to think your own life isn’t in your hands. I don’t wish that on you, Hiyori.”

A rush of warmth pooled in her chest, but was just as swiftly driven out by a wave of shame. She shook her head again, and took a sip of her drink before answering.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “You probably didn’t expect this to turn into a therapy session when you called me.”

For a millisecond, disappointment sagged on Yato’s face. Then it disappeared, so quickly it could have been a trick of the light, and he was grinning at her again.

“Hey, you’re the client! I can play the therapist quite well, if that’s what interests you.”

“Have you had to do it often?” she inquired.

“Well, I live with Kazuma.”

Hiyori stirred sugar into her latte, which was bitter. “Is he the quiet one with the glasses?”

“Glasses, yes. Quiet? No. I have to listen to his girl problems. Endlessly.”

Hiyori tried to remember the defining features of the bespectacled young man she sometimes saw walking toward the bus stop, his nose invariably stuffed either into a thick textbook or a sheaf of academic articles. He was familiar to her, somehow. Where had she seen him—?

“Oh!” She rapped her spoon on the table, and Yato jumped. “That’s who he is!!”

At his look of consternation, she explained. “My lab partner—she mentioned him. He’s her physics tutor. She says he’s really nice.”

Yato leaned across the table. His grin had a dangerous edge to it.

“This lab partner…what’s her name?”

Hiyori frowned. “Well, she puts ‘Bishamon’ on all her quizzes, but everyone just calls her Viina. Why? Do you know her?”

“Not from Eve. Did she say to you why she thinks he’s nice?”

Thoroughly puzzled, Hiyori tried to remember the brief, casual conversation from two weeks ago.

“Um. She said…he doesn’t charge for tutoring. She said he just does it to keep the knowledge fresh in his mind—and to help other people, of course. The word ‘noble’ might have been used at one point.”

Yato looked for all the world like the cat who had swallowed the largest, juiciest, most unlucky of canaries. Hiyori narrowed her eyes.

“Why?”

He sipped delicately from his cup, eyes still crinkled at the corners from his Cheshire smile.

“No reason, really. I just thought I’d pass along a compliment.”

: : :

Yato pinched his chin between two fingers, his eyebrows scrunching together in concentration. They had been sitting at the café table for the last hour, ironing out the rest of the kinks in their “relationship” that had yet to pose the most serious future problems.

“Okay…I think we’re solid on all the most important points,” he said.

Hiyori raised an eyebrow and set both her elbows on the table. “What was our first date?”

“Coffee. Just like today.”

“And how did you ask me to be your girlfriend?”

Yato smirked. “With chocolates and a dozen roses.”

“Very imaginative.” She snorted. “Wouldn’t want anyone to suspect us of cliché.”

“It’s not cliché! It’s classic.”

Hiyori shook her head ruefully. “At the very least, my mother would eat that up. Speaking of which…” She made an unpleasant face.

“Remember how I mentioned she talked to me about having you come over sometime? To ‘bond?’ I think you really won her over with that calligraphy talk.”

“She doesn’t want me to cook, does she?”

“Probably not since you boiled a rat into my spaghetti.”

Yato blinked, his mouth twitching. “Oh. Right.”

The waitress, who had come to bus their third round of lattés, scurried away with a horrified look on her face. Hiyori was silent for a few moments, and felt Yato’s curious eyes on her.

“Did I forget something important?” he inquired.

“No,” she said quickly. Her voice was casual. “But—are we serious?”

Yato stared at her. “Serious…?”

“Are we serious.” She cleared her throat. “Our relationship. How…how much have we—uh. You know…”

“Oh! You mean have we had sex?” Yato blurted out. Hiyori shushed him violently, once again blushing to the tips of her ears.

“Do you have to shout?!” she whispered fiercely.

Yato moderated his voice, but the waitress was still ogling them from across the room.

“Why the hell would your family be asking questions about that?!” he demanded.

Hiyori closed her eyes, sinking back in her chair. “It’s not just my family,” she whispered in misery. Yato leaned across the table to hear her lowered voice.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s my—my roommates.”

She opened her eyes again to see that Yato looking at her with a mixture of disbelief and sheer horror.

“You didn’t even tell your friends?!”

Hiyori bristled.

“I’ve known Ami and Yama since we were babies! They know my whole family; my parents think of them as their own daughters.” Her back slid down the chair, and her voice began to crack higher and more desperate. “I can’t risk them finding out that this whole thing”—she motioned vaguely between their chests—“is just a sham.”

Yato was silent.

Hiyori worried she had somehow offended him, even though nothing she said had been untrue. If they were going to pull off this absurd of a hoax, they had to pull it off thoroughly.

When Yato at last spoke, it was in a thoughtful, subdued tone.

“So then, how about we go with: ‘not serious’.”

Hiyori looked up at him from where she sat sprawled halfway down her chair. He smiled as her eyes met his.

“After all, this isn’t going to be forever. If anyone asks, we’re taking it slow.” He reached across the table and tapped one finger next to her hand. “Sound good?”

Hiyori exhaled, and some of the tension that had clamped around her lungs melted away.

“Yes. That does sound good.”

She hauled herself up in her seat, flashing him a smile of apology. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to show you my crazy.” She cleared her throat. “Again.”

Yato laughed outright. When she gave him a betrayed look, he held up his hands in a gesture of pacification.

“You have no idea how far you are from actual crazy,” he said, chuckling.

Hiyori looked at him for another moment. His face was so full of honesty: a true-hearted admiration that she wasn’t prepared for, and her stomach gave a not-entirely-unpleasant lurch.

She set her cup down for the last time.

“Do you want to leave?”

: : :

It was pouring.

“Well, shit,” said Yato. He and Hiyori had ducked under the thin, treacherous awning of a closed Chinese restaurant to escape the deluge, but not before they were both thoroughly, miserably soaked. The storm, which had rushed at them out of a cloudless sky, was quickly overwhelming the storm drains and sloshing in small waves against the sidewalk. Hiyori feared for her socks.

“We could run,” she said half-heartedly. They were still a good block and a half away from their respective houses. The soupy, scowling blanket of gray above them gave a threatening rumble.

Yato shook out his hair like a dog. “You might drown,” he observed.

Hiyori bridled. “I’m a very good swimmer.”

He looked up from under his dripping hair, then pointed across the street to a small shop that crouched between two taller buildings. Its electric sign winked at them through the rain.

“Neither of us have to swim. Look at that.”

Hiyori looked. The glass front of the store was dim and streaked with rain, but through it she saw a window display of neon-pink umbrellas. She squared her shoulders and clutched her thin shirt tighter around her shoulders.

“Run for it?” she said. Yato gave a quick nod. Then the two of them burst from under the awning, splashing across the flooded street to the door of the shop. A little bell clanged irritably as they barged inside, sloshing half a gallon of water inside along with them.

Hiyori picked the nearest of the umbrellas and took it to the front, where a tall, grumpy-looking young man who could have easily passed as a member of the mafia was slouched over the register. Before she could put it on the counter, Yato grabbed the umbrella from her hand, then dug into an inner pocket of his tracksuit to unearth a shabby wallet. She made a sharp noise of protest.

“It’s a cheap umbrella,” he said, shoving it across the counter. The man at the register scowled at him, then shook the stray drops of water off the umbrella before scanning its barcode.

“Besides, it’s the least I can do, considering…everything.” His voice was casual, but the color of his cheeks was heightened.

Hiyori reddened, remembering that she hadn’t yet paid him for any of his…services.

The man at the counter cleared his throat with a gruff “hehm.”

“Sorry, man.” Yato flung some cash at him, and the man took it, his deepening frown carving lines into his face that made him look like a murderous gargoyle.

“You haven’t been here in a while,” the man said, managing to make the statement sound like a dire accusation.

Yato shrugged vaguely. “Yeah…work. How’s Kofuku?”

“Terrible. She wants you to come over for dinner.”

“Tell her I don’t want to get myself poisoned.”

“It might do you some good.”

Yato looked affronted, and snatched the umbrella from the counter with a flourish before offering it to Hiyori, who stood awkwardly off to the side during the exchange. The man behind the counter turned his terrifying gaze upon her, effectively turning her spine to jelly. Yato remembered himself.

“Oh, Daikoku, this is Hiyori. She’s…”

He trailed off as he turned to look at her, his mouth open and an expression of naked panic in his eyes. Hiyori smiled encouragingly at him, trying to ignore how Daikoku’s thick eyebrows were steadily rising higher on his forehead.

“…She’s wet.”

Hiyori gave Yato a withering look, and he mouthed “I’m really sorry.” Daikoku’s eyebrows had disappeared into his hair.

“I can see that,” he said dubiously.

There was a horrible silence.

“Okay! Well, great to see you, man. Tell Kofuku I’ll stop by with a pizza some night. Bye!”

Yato said all of this in one breath, shoved the umbrella into Hiyori’s arms, and hurried out the door, causing the bell to give one last, annoyed jangle. Hiyori and Daikoku exchanged an uncomfortable look before she followed him outside.

Yato had already started walking away, and the back of his neck was the color of an eggplant.

“Did you break?” Hiyori called, splashing along in his wake on the sidewalk. When she caught up to him, she struggled a bit with the pink umbrella, at last managing to open it over both of their heads.

“No!” he said loudly. “No, I didn’t break. That was just—it was weird, for a minute. I’m sorry.”

For a moment, it seemed like he might say more, but he didn’t, and they walked quietly in the direction of their street for the next few minutes. The downpour subsided into a surly, warm drizzle. Hiyori kept the umbrella open until they had arrived in front of their respective houses.

She was suffocating in the silence between them, and the words, which had been building in her throat for some time, finally burst free.

“You know—if this is uncomfortable for you, it doesn’t have to keep going. You’ve already helped me more than enough. I-I completely understand if you want to—”

She choked off as Yato took the umbrella from her hand. His warm fingers closed over hers, tipping the umbrella toward her so the bell covered her head entirely, leaving his own open to the rain.

Something had changed during their walk. His nervous demeanor had vanished, washed down the gutters along with the leaves swirling past their feet. He looked at her with those very blue eyes, made so much bluer by the gray, flat darkness of the sky, and the road, and the rain. A large drop dripped from his eyebrow and splashed onto his cheek, quivering there like a freshwater tear.

“I like this job, Hiyori Iki,” he said quietly.

“You…do?” Her voice cowered in her throat under the blue of those eyes. Her head was warm and light. For all she knew, it could have been floating off her shoulders.

“Yes, I do.” His lips curved in a sudden, mischievous grin that momentarily stole her breath. “But in the meantime, I think I’ll take this umbrella as collateral. Pink is my color.”

He spun on one heel and marched toward his own front door, leaving Hiyori red and spluttering on the sidewalk.

“You bought it!” she shouted after him.

But his door had already shut, and there was nothing she could do but walk up the pathway to her own house, past her roommates (who ripped their foreheads from the window and tried to look innocent), and sit down on her bed, wondering why she was still thinking of that raindrop on Yato’s cheek, and whether she should have wiped it away.

next chapter coming june 11!

[parkandzhong]

🎪🎡🎢 ---- Yet Another Untitled Anon

(Chensung Anon back at it again with no solid plot and an open ending)

Chenle and Jisung take up an interest in dying their hair after Mark goes blonde and Donghyuck dyes his hair red. They talk about it constantly, chatting about which hair colors they’d like and how it unfair that even goody two shoes Renjun got to dye his hair as well. When Jeno bleaches his hair and Jaemin also goes light brown, Chenle and Jisung are starting to feel the limitations of being younger than their entire friend group.

All of their friends have jobs, and as soon as their parents agree to let them dye their hair using their own money, they can go and get it done the next day. Even though Chenle is rich, his mom scolds him when he asks about it.

“You’re 15, what do you need to be dying your hair for?”

“Mom! Everyone else has their hair dyed but me and Jisung! Don’t you think I’d look nice with a different hair color??”

“How fair would it be to Jisung if you dyed your hair and he couldn’t?”

“Oh mom, come on!!”

Jisung’s faced with the same argument, with a “even if I let you, I don’t have the money to bleach and dye your hair!!” thrown in for good measure.

“It’s not fair,” Chenle whines, tossing a rock into the lake. “Everybody else is allowed to dye their hair but us!!”

They argue with their parents for two months, and Renjun dyes his hair again and so does Mark. Eventually, their mothers start to get tired of their whining and they make a bet with them. If Chenle and Jisung can make the honor roll at the end of the semester, they can dye their hair. So they work their asses off and Jisung actually studies for once and their hangouts turn into study sessions. Somehow they make the honor roll. And even though Jisung’s mom is apprehensive, she keeps her promise and Chensung get an appointment to get their hair dyed.

The bleach smells bad and they spend 2 days getting their hair dyed. It’s worth it when Jisung gets to see Chenle with purple hair. Jisung has blue hair and his mom is obviously not happy with the color. But a bet was a bet so she just glares at him and lets him keep it.

Jisung and Chenle become the talk of the school and a bunch of kids come up to them talking about their hair colors. Jisung gets shy and flustered so Chenle takes charge and charms the girls who come up to them to flirt. He always turns around and laughs for a while afterwards.

“How do they have no idea that I’m gay?? They saw a guy with purple hair and they thought he was straight…..”

Jisung keeps quiet. Mostly because he’s looking at said guy (Chenle) with purple hair and thinking about how not straight he is. Instead he ruffles his blue hair and says:

“Maybe they want to date you for popularity.”

“Then they should date you. You’re the one on the soccer team. They’d have no luck with me.”

“Chenle, I’m also gay.”

“They don’t know that!! I thought girls liked dating the sports guys to get popular!”

“Are we gonna stand here talking about girls like a couple of straight guys or are we going to go get lunch?” Jisung asks. “Because I’m having a gay crisis and I need to hear about whatever drama Hyuck has gotten himself into this week to keep me sane and soothe my soul.”

Chenle cackles and follows behind him.

“That was the gayest fucking thing I’ve ever heard and we’ve heard a lot about what Jaemin gets up to.”

 -

The popularity only increases at every soccer game Jisung plays and every dance competition he does. Even girls from the opposing team’s audience come to talk to him and try to get his number. He feels awkward, and he doesn’t even feel flattered because he’s not attracted to any girl ever. Chenle thinks their sudden popularity with girls is hilarious. Jisung’s not so sure he likes having blue hair anymore, but it takes a few months for his hair to fade and his roots to grow back. He tries to hide the hair, but the teachers force him to remove his hats and he just has to deal with it. He wonders why the girls are so persistent when none of them have gotten a positive response from him.  

“Can I dye it again?” he asks his mother at dinner one night.

“Jisung—”

“My roots are showing and the hair dye is faded. Can I just go blonde instead?”

Chenle’s in China with his parents on a business trip the weekend Jisung’s mom takes him to get his hair bleached and dyed blonde. He avoids skyping Chenle and showing his new hair, and for some reason Chenle only phone calls him too.

“Hey, uh, I kinda have something to show you when you get back from the airport,” Chenle says on the phone.

Jisung hears him get in the car on the other end of the phone.

“I was going to say the same thing,” Jisung says.

When they meet each other at Jisung’s apartment as soon as Chenle gets back from the airport, Jisung’s excited. It’s only been 5 days, but he’s really missed Chenle and he’s excited to show off his new hair to his best friend. So when they finally come face to face again and Chenle’s just staring blankly at him, he feels self conscious. He catches sight of Chenle’s hair and he laughs. Chenle doesn’t move.

“We both dyed our hair blonde while you were in China!” Jisung laughs.

Jisung clears his throat and Chenle finally unfreezes.

“Wanna go hang out with Donghyuck?”

“Why so suddenly?”

“I’m having a gay crisis,” Jisung admits. (bc of Chenle but that’s not important)

“What is it with you going to Hyuck when you’re having a gay crisis?” Chenle asks.

“He’s already a gay disaster so he makes me feel like more of a contained gay disaster.”

“God do you have a crush on somebody that you don’t want to tell me about or something?”

“No,” Jisung lies, panicked. “He’s been telling me about his crush.”

It’s not entirely a lie. Hyuck talks his ear off about Mark all the time. In turn, though, he talks about Chenle and how he thinks he might be developing a crush on his best friend. And once Chenle had dyed his hair purple it just kicked into overdrive. Chenle’s a blonde now, and Jisung’s having a hard time refraining from having a mental breakdown over how good it looks. (Chenle’s thinking the same thing, u moron)

-

Chenle somehow manages to look cuter as a blonde and Jisung somehow realizes that he is developing a small crush on Chenle. He’s been willing it to go away, hoping that it was just a momentary thing brought on by doing something fun together like dying their hair. When they started this whole hair dye thing he didn’t expect it to launch him into the gay void. He just wanted a fun hair color and a fun thing to do with Chenle.

-

“YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO PUSH ME IN,” Chenle yells as Jisung pulls him out of the lake.

“I didn’t mean to!!”

Chenle looks like a drowned kitten as he glares at Jisung. His shoes squelch as they walk on the path and Jisung worries his lip between his teeth, trying to figure out a solution.

“OH! I still have my soccer practice clothes!”

“YOU SWEAT IN THOSE,” Chenle shouts.

“Practice got cancelled, they’re clean.”

“I CAN’T JUST CHANGE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARK!”

They have to walk for 5 minutes as Chenle complains and shivers in the cool April air to find a place for him to change. They finally find a bathroom and Jisung hands off his backpack to the soaking wet Chenle. Chenle’s still fuming from being almost drowned, so Jisung just sings to himself as Chenle changes clothes.

“I look stupid,” Chenle says.

Jisung freezes with a slight blush. His mind is screaming (mostly just FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK) as he watches Chenle flap his new sweater paws at him. He’s wearing Jisung’s black sweater and black sweatpants. They’re a little too big for him, and Jisung’s having a fucking gay crisis again. He’s not even having a gay crisis anymore, he’s just been drop kicked into the gay void of falling in love with his best friend. All of the feelings Jisung has been denying come rushing at him. His legs start to shake a little as he realizes how fuck he is.

He could deny his feelings when Chenle looked a lot like the little kid he met on the playground one day. But after they dyed their hair together he realizes how cute Chenle is and once Chenle becomes a blonde and wears his clothes while looking like a drowned kitten.

Chenle’s face looks neutral as he looks expectantly at Jisung.

“We should put my wet clothes in a bag,” he says simply.

“Yeah,” Jisung croaks. “That’s a good idea.”

~

LISTEN OKAY I HAD MY FIRST GAY AWAKENING WHEN I WAS GETTING MY HAIR CUT BY A NEW STYLIST AND SHE LEANED DOWN AND 12 YEAR OLD ME SAW ANOTHER GIRLS BOOBS (EVEN IN A BRA) AND MY BRAIN SHORT CIRCUITED OKAY SO HAIR DYE MAKES ME REMEMBER THAT SO THANK YOU FOR THIS

[swapstories101]

Bus Stories: Are You Writing a Novel?

I left the apartment at 12:30, last-minute considering I needed to lock the door. I brought a jacket because it looks like I have a really painful bruise on my arm, even though it’s old and doesn’t hurt anymore. Two different groups of guys intently watched me walk past while they chatted in the sunshine. A man expressed his confusion about me wearing a jacket in summer weather. I took off the jacket when I left the apartment complex because, yeah, fair.

I crossed the street and then had to start running shortly after, because I could see the bus coming. I barely caught the bus, then was very confused by it doing a loop and decided to check the route on my phone. I realized I didn’t have my phone. I asked the driver if he’d seen me drop it when I got on, mostly so that he wouldn’t think I was too weird for getting off again in a minute. He hadn’t seen me drop my phone, of course. A very kind lady recommended that if I’d lost my phone, I cancel it.

When we got back to my bus stop I thanked the driver and went looking for my phone. It was in the grass by the sidewalk where I’d started running, and miraculously the driver (who’d just pulled away from the bus stop, seeing as I’d walked almost a block away) waited for me when I waved my phone at him and ran back to the stop. I thanked him profusely. The very kind lady congratulated me on finding my phone and, shortly afterward, reminded me to zip up a pocket of my bag so my things wouldn’t fall out. I thanked her.

I checked the time repeatedly, and the map, even though I knew I wouldn’t make it on time. I called the massage place and the very quiet woman on the phone told me she could change the appointment to 2:30 instead of 2:00. It was bizarrely easy.

That was sort of a weight off my shoulders. I thanked the driver again when we got to the depot. He seemed slightly amused.

I took the next bus down to my stop, by the hospital. I got off with a woman in colorful scrubs who seemed even more sure of the area than I was. The crosswalk buttons confused me, but I pushed one anyway. A bug landed on my hand, I think, but when I reflexively slapped at it it just left a drop of moisture. Gross.

I got to my massage place 10 minutes early. The woman at the counter was very neutral about my arrival. Some people came in and spoke loudly, and her face was less neutral about them, but she said nothing. My massage therapist seemed unusually happy to see me, and told me she’d been running late, so was happy to hear that I was, too.

It was a great massage.

I left a $1 tip, because I only had that and twenties, and I’m too broke to tip anybody $20.

Fifteen minutes from the end of the massage I had gotten a call from my grandmother, so I called her back. We spoke fairly fluently in German, despite me not having practiced in months. She lauded my correction of my own grammatical mistake, which is very characteristic. She didn’t know I was in a loud place, despite me hardly being able to hear her over the cars passing by.

I continued to talk to her at the bus stop until I started to worry about the bus. The phone died right after I hung up, so I couldn’t check anything. I checked the Saturday schedule on the paper route, since it’s a holiday, and saw that I had about 35 minutes to wait. I asked the girl sitting at the stop, and she told me many things. She had come to visit the LabCorps building because it said it was open for a few hours today, but it wasn’t open. She was even more confused about the holiday bus schedule than I was (and much more upset, as I assume she had not just gotten a great massage.) She had recently applied for a job at a Burger King on the same street as the school where I did my student teaching. I don’t know where that Burger King is, but I hope they hire her. She has a tattoo of butterflies on her forearm and when she’s having a better day than today, I’m sure she’s very fun to talk to. She told me all the bus drivers she’s had lately have been rude, but that doesn’t seem right.

A mother was irritated that someone was questioning her ability to do her job while being a mother who rides public transportation. I sympathized, having just explained to my grandmother for the thousandth time that, no, I really don’t want a car, but I also would be intimidated by parenting with only public transportation. She said something about getting better. I hope that she’s healthier every day. Her kids seem to like and respect her, even though they’re energetic and she was on the phone the whole time she was at the bus stop. I like and respect her more because they do.

The bus took us to the depot. I was the only one on my second bus before the driver left for a break. I started writing one of my short stories while I waited, so I didn’t have to look at the people waiting outside for the driver to get back. They always look so bitterly jealous from inside the bus.

Halfway along the route I realized I had no idea what was on one side of the road. It’s a screen of trees between the road and an apartment complex. I have the distinct feeling that this has happened to me before.

The Walmart by my apartment has two bus stops. The second contained two or three people. A woman with grocery bags and noticeable breasts limped to the seat across from me. A man about her age (maybe late 50s or early 60s?) followed shortly after and they negotiated a number of grocery bags until he ended up sitting in the seat in front of her, curled around backward to speak with her.

A few minutes into their ride, he got my attention to ask if I’m writing a book with a gesture at my spiral bound notebook, as full as it is of scrambled thoughts. I told him that I’m not, and it probably wouldn’t be worth reading if I did. He told me about his friend who writes books and sells them for $15.95, and he said it’s not particularly lucrative. I asked him if he was in the market to buy a book, and he said yes without hesitation. I told him I’m mostly writing short stories these days, and maybe I would eventually put them into a collection. He pulled out a substantial wad of cash (which appeared to be mostly $20 bills) and offered to buy it. I told him I’d have to get in touch when I had the book put together.

The bus went in a circle so we were back at their original stop. Everyone was confused by this choice. The bus driver said we would wait at that stop for 10 minutes. The man I was talking to went out to smoke a cigarette, and saw me on my phone. When he came back he seemed undecided about something with his phone, then tentatively handed it to me. I put my number in under my first name. (Yes, I gave my real number to a random middle-aged white man on a bus. I know.) Seeing my name on the phone, he introduced himself as Keith. He figured out how to save it and I told him he was making me nostalgic about my old flip phone. He said he’d found that one in the mud and got someone to dry it out. He still seemed impressed that the thing worked after all that.

He told me about his friend who writes books and sells them for $15.95, and he said that she must be living well off the royalties. He and the woman he was with worked together to explain that her books are romance novels with lots of sexual content. I wasn’t really sure what to say to that. Keith asked if I drank, and showed me that his Walmart bag was full of beer. He told me he drank, but he also worked, which I thought was a reasonable balance. He told me something about the place across from the motel where he lives, but I don’t remember what.

He told me about Nicholas Sparks, who wrote The Notebook and several other things. I told him I hadn’t gotten around to reading any of Nicholas Sparks’ books and Keith summarized a story about a Vietnam veteran for me. He said that when he was locked up he read all of Nicholas Sparks’ books that he could; he said he was only missing one. He guaranteed that if I read one, I wouldn’t be able to put it down until the end. When he asked if I was in school, I told him I’d graduated, but I’d wanted to be an English teacher and being an English major was really fun for someone like me, who loved reading and writing. The sentence kind of fell apart at the end. He asked if I taught English now, and I said I was a special education teacher.

We talked about books a little more, then sat for a bit until the bus got to my stop. We both said goodbye. He asked me where I worked, and I said “a school” as I got off. It took me half of the walk home to realize he probably thought I had a second job at one of the shops near my apartment.

An ice cream truck drove by, and I decided I wanted ice cream, but it turned the wrong way.

No one talked to me on the way back. No one was just hanging out; a couple was bringing a trash bag to the dumpster, and someone was getting things out of his truck. I think I saw a mailman.

No one else is home now. Just the cats. I’m almost as tired as they are, but they’re asleep and I have many things to do if I’m going to give myself ice cream today.

[ncfan-1]

A recently finished replay of KOTOR 2, combined with inferences based on what I learned there plus my own head canon becoming more concrete, gave me a lot of feelings about the sort of relationship I imagine the Exile having had with Kavar. Very sad, and occasionally very angry feelings.

If the wiki is to believed, the Exile had many different masters over the course of her time with the Jedi Order. Which to me sounds like she got bounced between masters a lot, with maybe one or two of them dying. The impression I’ve gotten of the Exile’s general experience with the Order is that she was pretty isolated growing up. Her Force bonding was a powerful, mysterious ability that no one properly understood, she couldn’t control and no one could really, truly guard against. She had a small, potentially very small, circle of close friends (of which Atris was the chief; she seems to have genuinely adored the Exile before the latter went off to war), but otherwise, the other kids, whether they liked her or hated her (and it sounds very much as though there was no middle ground), just kept their distance. The adults had absolutely no idea what to do with her. Her gift was unsettling to them, verging on unnatural in strength levels. We know from an unlockable holorecording on Dantooine that Vrook had it out for the Exile since she was a child, considered her a potential threat since she was a child, and he probably wasn’t the only one.

Trying to figure out where Kavar, who was an informal mentor to the Exile but never formally took her on as an apprentice, fits into this inevitably intersected with the bit about the Exile having been bounced between masters a lot. Basically, what I came up with was that Kavar sort of functioned as a kind of substitute teacher, making sure the Exile kept up with her training whenever she was between masters.

The first time, she was twelve. Her first master had just died, and she hadn’t been picked up by another one yet. Given that she was still quite young, too young to train on her own, the Exile was sent back to classes with the older initiates. Kavar was instructing initiates in lightsaber combat during that point in time, and that was how they met. He already knew about her; there was hardly any adult in the Order who didn’t know about the Exile, that kid with that weird, mysterious, unsettling gift. For the moment, Kavar focuses in more on her skill with a lightsaber. She is unusually skilled for someone her age, and that does get his attention.

He trains her outside of the classes until she’s picked up by a new master, and expects that to be the end of it. It isn’t. The Exile never manages to keep a master for long—a year at most, but more often just a few months, before the master in question becomes so weirded out by her gift with Force bonds that they just decide they can’t deal with it and wash their hands of her. To be perfectly honest, Kavar’s weirded out by it too, but he cares enough about the Exile to not be driven away by it. It’s around the fourth time the Exile gets dumped by her newest master that Kavar considers biting the bullet and taking her on as his apprentice himself, because this is getting ridiculous, she’s seventeen now and she’s spent more time as a Padawan without a master than with one. But he’s been promoted to the Jedi Council by this time, and has zero confidence in his ability to balance his duties with the council with a Padawan. Further complicating the matter is that the Mandalorian wars have begun by this time, and seeing as the Council hadn’t yet decided to remain neutral, he was involved in several of the early skirmishes, and was often away.

The relationship between them was almost like a parent-child bond, but not quite; there was just enough distance between them to keep the relationship from being that. The Exile appreciated the fact that Kavar didn’t treat her like she was a problem, and she valued their relationship greatly for the fact that he treated her like she was normal, but the fact that he taught her without ever formally taking her on as an apprentice made her feel as though she was being held at arm’s length, which contributed to the Exile’s increasing feelings of isolation as she grew up.

As she grew older, the Exile was becoming increasingly aware of her status as the Order’s problem child. She knew what the Jedi Masters thought of her, knew that they regarded her as something strange, as a potential threat, for something completely outside her control. She could perform as a model Jedi and Vrook and those like him would still have had it out for her, would have still regarded her as a threat to the Order because of her strange power. The Exile always felt very separate from other Jedi, very alone. In the background of her mind, she remembers the whispers about her strange power, and sometimes wonders if her few friendships are genuine, if her friends like her for herself, or if it’s simply because of the bonding. Her increasing sense of alienation combined with her overwhelming desire to do something about the Mandalorians attacking the Outer Rim, to protect the innocents being slaughtered, led her to join the war at the age of twenty-two, becoming one of Revan’s top generals in time.

The relationship between the Exile and Kavar became a major source of regret for them both through the war and what came afterwards. It was especially that for Kavar, who after the end of the Mandalorian wars had enough time to reflect to come to the conclusion “…I might have been able to stop some of this if I had just formally taken her on as my Padawan. ……Oh.”

(During the confrontation with the Jedi Masters in the rebuilt Enclave, Kavar mentions that the Exile first began to sever her links to the Force on Dxun, though she didn’t go all the way through with it at that point in time. My first reaction to this was “How the hell do you know that?” It suggests that they either met face-to-face sometime between Dxun and Malachor, or that they had enough of a bond that Kavar felt what was happening to her through the Force.)

The first time they met again in that cantina was beyond awkward. Everything about that meeting was awkward. They were both dressed incognito (character models asides, I feel like Kavar probably had enough sense not to wear clothes that screamed “I am a Jedi” when he was living on Onderon, especially considering that probably would have made things worse for Queen Talia than they already were) and one of the people with her was a Mandalorian in full armor. Absolutely nothing about this was normal, everything was awkward, and the main reason nothing really got discussed in that meeting had less to do with a shortage of time and more to do with the fact that they were too busy side-eyeing each other from across the table for half an hour to do much talking. The Exile was trying to figure out whether she should be angry or not, Kavar was trying to figure out how much he could safely tell her (and, not for the first time, wondering if they’d made the right decision in casting her out in the first place), and both were trying to figure out how much the other had changed, and how much they hadn’t.

When they finally managed to have an extended conversation after Vaklu and his forces were put down, things were somewhat less awkward. It is probably a testament to what these two people are like that they can have a conversation while covered in blood more easily than they can in a cantina. Things do occasionally manage to veer into the awkward, especially when the Exile suddenly comes out with “I found Lonna Vash on Korriban. …She’s dead.” Mostly, things aren’t super awkward only because neither one of them are willing to get emotional. Remembered closeness manages to cut like a knife.

In the game, just judging from the way their conversation goes (this assumes an LS!Exile), Kavar seems fairly approving of the Exile’s actions and is amiable towards her, but we know how that winds up come the confrontation in the rebuilt Enclave. The Jedi Masters fall back on the “wait and see” approach that nearly wound up with the Republic falling to the Mandalorians, and once again, they decide that the Exile is a greater threat than the Sith looming on the horizon, and try to strip the Exile of whatever remaining connection to the Force she has left. The reasons why don’t matter—it could be that they all fell back on dogma, it could be that this was Vrook’s decision (he is markedly hostile towards the Exile when they meet, and is cool towards her even after all is said and done on Dantooine, refusing to admit that the Council might have done something wrong) and that he pressured the other two into agreeing, or something else. Their opinion, that the Exile had been bending her companions to her will and that she had just been feeding on them, and that any moment of affection that passed between her and any of them wasn’t real, was just the result of her bonding, reawakens her childhood fears, does nearly irreparable harm to her.

When the Exile gets over the shock of the three of them dying, when she recovers (somewhat; the insecurity is still there, though she tries not to let it rule her) from the idea that none of the relationships she’s formed with her companions are real, everything with Kreia is said and done and she recovers from that, she finds she’s actually angrier with Kavar than she is with Vrook or Zez-Kai Ell. The Exile expected Vrook to be hostile towards her; he always had been. She didn’t know Zez-Kai Ell all that well; for all that he seemed apologetic when they met on Nar Shaddaa, the Exile knew him primarily as one of the Jedi who had sat in judgment when she was exiled. But she trusted Kavar, and then he did this. There would be no closure, no chance at reconciliation; he was dead, after all.

Their relationship was like many things in the Exile’s life, now—something that had shifted irrevocably into the past, characterized by regret and tainted with bitterness.