#we gots da sweetest love in da WORLD !! <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[satorisoup]

commi by my sweet zennie !! @saexy /ᐠ. .ᐟ\ฅ 🍊

[saturngrqy]

road trip// gd

HI BABES!!1!!1 im sorry ive been inactive as fuck i have had so much going on school wise and sports wise and I promise imma get back on my grind. ily!!!! thanks for being so patient with me. i luv yall:)))) send in some reqs because i keep falling behind because i suck at coming up with ideas by myself. thanks yall ok bye 

warnings-  fluff, das it

The orange glow of the sunset blared through the windshield of the car as I readjusted my head against the seat. I sighed, snuggling into my pillow that was leaning on the door. 

“Tired, baby?” Grayson asked, leaning his arm over the console to rub my shoulder. I grunted in response, turning towards him. 

“How much longer do we got?” I asked, barely opening my eyes. 

“Uhhh.... about 45 minutes,” Grayson responded, glancing up at the map on his phone. I nodded, wrapping my blanket tighter around myself. Grayson and I were driving down to New Jersey in his van, and Ethan and Kristina were in the backseat sleeping, as it was Grayson’s turn to drive. 

Grayson’s hand moved from my shoulder to my thigh, softly resting there, rubbing small circles. 

“You can take a nap, babe, I know you’re tired,” he whispered. I smiled up at him before softly closing my eyes. 

-

“Baby, Y/n,” I woke  to Grayson gently poking me in the face. I shuffled awake, slightly confused about where I was. I looked out the door to see we were finally at his mom’s house. I got up, wrapping the blanket around myself to shield me from the cold air. 

“E and Kris already went inside,” he explained. “Unfortunately they already called dibs on the big room, so looks like we are sharing the laundry room.” He laughed, pulling me into his side. I giggled, following him to the door. When he opened the door, we were immediately greeted by his mom, who was probably the sweetest person I have ever met. 

We had a pretty small dinner, and Grayson and I quickly ran to bed once we were finished. He laid down first, gesturing his arms toward me from below. I laughed, laying down right on top of him as he wrapped his arms around my collarbone. 

“Thanks for coming,” Grayson whispered into my hair. “I know a 3 day long car ride isn’t the most exciting thing in the world.”

I rolled my eyes, looking back up at him. “Anything with you is an adventure. I love you, Grayson.”

- 

bye that was horse shit

[yong-bokk]

all in²

pairing: special agent ! lee felix x medical examiner ! reader

genre: f for fluff and felix

warnings: mentions of dead bodies and a ghost.. or a murderer... or a ghost murderer

welcome back to skz criminal investigation division !!

today

i’d like to introduce you to special agent lee felix yongbok ( ⁎ᵕᴗᵕ⁎ ）

he’s one of the two agents with the prettiest long blond hair in the division in the whole wide world

also has the prettiest !! freckles !! that looks like stardust sprinkled all over his cheeks

to conclude: felix looks like a tiny ball of sunshine,

especially when he smiles ,,

BUT he can kick ass real hard ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

very good with weapons and combat in general

he also has the deepest voice which comes in handy during interrogations

“stand up and show your skills you know the drill”

+12983742 points for intimidation >:

don’t u worry though

bc he’s nothing but a cuddle bug and the sweetest ball of fluff to his loved ones ‧⁺✧(⁙´ワ`⁙)⁺

and that will include u

ESPECIALLY u

but first ! u’ll have to meet him

so u, my precious reader, are the new medical examiner in the office yay!!!

it has only been a week since u started ur new job and u’re still trying to adjust

but thankfully u have seungmin, the senior medical examiner and also ur new partner, who has been so so helpful and friendly

u’ve been so busy during ur first week with work and all the transfer administrations that u haven’t got the chance to formally meet everyone

so far u’ve only met, well, seungmin

and the unit chief, bang chan, who is very friendly too

but one day !!

an unfamiliar face showed up at the medical examiner’s office |ω・)

GUESS WHO

i’m going to give u a clue

long blond hair, prettiest freckles, and a BLINDING smile

YES

FELIX (♡ > ◡ < )

he came to ur office to fetch a report from seungmin

and that’s when he saw u for the first time

u were bagging up a few articles of clothing to send to forensics

felix never thought anyone could make a lab coat look so pretty

but THERE U WERE LOOKING LIKE AN ANGEL

u: exist

felix’s lovestruck braincells: (⸝⸝⸝ᵒ��̶̷ ｡ ᵒ̴̶̷⸝⸝⸝)(⸝⸝⸝ᵒ̴̶̷ ｡ ᵒ̴̶̷⸝⸝⸝)(⸝⸝⸝ᵒ̴̶̷ ｡ ᵒ̴̶̷⸝⸝⸝)

cue: felix embarrassing himself in front of u

“hi, i’m here to r-report”

?????????

u are ??????(・ ・ ? confused

bc the most beautiful person u’ve ever seen just popped out of nowhere and says he’s here to report?

what does he even have to reportksljflkasdf

“hi! uhm i’m sorry, report what?”

“the medical report….?”

????????????????what????????

“OHH u mean u’re here for the medical report? hold on”

……

out of his entire lifetime

his brain choses to be dysfunctional right there in front of u

felix, deep down inside: i want to. (」｡≧□≦)」 D I S SIPATE. (」｡≧□≦)」

“oh right y-yeah, for the burn victim”

u hand him a copy of the report u had prepared and walked him through some of the findings

“we found something in the victim’s ear but i think we haven’t heard back from the lab-“

“hey yn they ran out of the cookies u wanted- oh! (｡･o･｡)ﾉ hey felix!”

“h-hi seungmin”

seungmin looks at him weirdly bc ??? what was that

who is this and what have they done with felix, his giggly cuddlebug of a friend

ANYWAYS

after u finished going through everything, felix said thank u and bolted out of ur office so quick

chan: “u okay there, buddy? u look.. uh”

“……that’s exactly how i feel too”

since then on

he never stops thinking about u

also keeps reminding himself of how embarrassing he was and gets sad over it again • ʖ̯ • )

not that he knows but !! u keep thinking of him too

u’re a little sad that all u know about him is that his name is felix (he didn’t even tell u himself :c ) and that he’s one of the special agents in chan’s division

but u two don’t see each other again after that for awhile

the next time u saw him was when u got back to ur office after lunch break

felix was fetching another report from seungmin

and he was all smiley and giggly (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ* with seungmin but the moment u walked into the room

he just smiles awkwardly at u and rushes out

u figured that he’s uncomfortable whenever u’re around

:(

and it was like that for a very long time

he’d come in with chan sometimes for the reports

and he’d be like buddy-buddy with seungmin but whenever u’re there he’s just hhshdfhshfgotta go

u wanted to be his friend too because he looks so lovely to be around :(

little did u know that he’s just shy because he likes u like A LOT and his brain just short circuits whenever u’re within his eyesight :(

u got felix going dumb da da dumb (sorry)

but stop being sad bc

here comes !! the twist to the plot !! (｡✧ᴗ✧���)

one day

u were working late and we’re talking like LATE late because

(1) seungmin was out of office for a hearing, and

(2) suddenly 4 new bodies came into the office in a span of 2 hours?!@?!?!@# and u were currently in the brink of breaking down ；—；

but seungmin didn’t raise no quitter

with the power of coffee and anime by ur side, u started working through the bodies one by one

it’s a little past midnight now and u were quite sure the last light outside ur office turned off a couple hours ago and

u see

u could just leave and have seungmin work at it in the morning

but the caffeine in ur bloodstream said u wouldn’t be able to sleep once u get home anyway so

(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و back to work (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

u were scraping something from the last victim’s nails when suddenly ??? the lights went off

ok let’s be real

u are ⁿᵒᵗ afraid

u work with dead bodies every. day. but it’s god knows what o’clock in the morning AND NOW it’s pitch black and u just hhhhSHDFHS

ur hand went into ur pocket to fish out ur phone but then u remembered that u left it to charge on ur table AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM

reader u dummy

u didn’t know how long u froze in that same spot bc ???u’re kinda afraid and u couldn’t see anything

but suddenly u heard the sound of glass shattering and someone’s groan and u thought

this is it this is ur END

seungmin is going to walk into this office tomorrow and find 5 bodies instead of 4

u crouched as a horrible attempt to hide from the ghost……….. or potential murderer…………. honestly u don’t know which one’s better (maybe bc the answer is NOT BOTH??!)

u were internally cursing about how u could’ve had a scalpel in hand for self protection but instead all u had with u was a goddamn TOOTHPICK when u felt something? or someone?touch ur shoulder

“hey-“

“p leasedon’t kill me i’m new here i really don’t know anything pleaseiwon’t sayanything to anyone”

“YN IT’S ME”

“THEY EVEN KNOW MY NAME ALREADYSDKFJSK I REALLY DON’T WANT TO D-“ Σ(ﾟДﾟ；≡；ﾟдﾟ)

“i’m not here to kill usdfskdfjs it’s me!! felix”

,,,,,,,,

felix? (･Θ･)

well

that was

,,,,,,,,embarrassing

“w-what are u doing here?”

“the electricity got cut off and i heard hyunjin say u’re working late and probably still down here so… (´ . .̫ . `) i came here to check on u”

u could barely make out his face in the dark but he was close enough u could see him smiling at u

the two of u just stayed there crouching on the ground and u were just about to say something when suddenly the lights flickered on again

( 〃．．) ohsldkfjs he’s so close and if he keeps smiling that lovely u swear u’ll combust

“are u gonna go home yet?”

“i-i’m not done yet”

“oh ! i’ll wait for u”

“WHAT no it’s late go home”

!!!!

“exactly! it’s late!! i’m not letting u go home at 3 in the morning by urself”

so u quickly finish and when u’re done u found felix nearly dozing off on ur table </3

how can a person be so CUTE ◕︿◕

he walked u home and offered u his jacket along the way

(wouldn’t take no for an answer)

it was a little awkward bc the two of u are just very very Shy

but u enjoyed his company

when u finally arrived at ur apartment,

the two of u just stood there for a little while, u fiddling with ur bag and him with his earring

“i-“ “hey-“

“sorry, u go first”

“i apologize for scaring u earlier…. whenever we meet i just always embarrass myself”

he mumbled the second half of his sentence and ur sleep-deprived brain couldn’t make out what he said but !! he looked so disappointed (っ◞‸◟c)

so u gave him a tiny hug

“no, thank you for checking up on me earlier and for walking me home”

:o

felix was bright red

shy shy felix shy

“no worries..” ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ ⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ “i guess.. i uh- i’ll get going, yeah? see u tomorrow?”

“see u tomorrow, be safe”

felix waited until u went inside and then let out a giggle

u hugged him

this is the BEST day of his life

it doesn't even matter if his house is on the other side of the city

he’d walk u home every day if it means u would hug him again

bonus:

“thanks for walking me home again” (⌒⌣⌒ )

lix looked like he was about to ask u something

but all he could say is his usual “no worries”

u see

felix has been meaning to ask u for ur number for a WEEK now but he just couldn’t seem to get the words out of his head >:

he was just about to chicken out once again when u fished out ur phone and gave it to him

“u know… i’d say text me when u get home but i don’t have ur number”

smooth reader very smooth (＾⌒＾*)

he thanked the heavens he didn’t drop ur phone when typing in his number because boy was he SHAKING

the two of u stayed up all night texting and neither could stop smiling that day

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 7 *FINALE* (Thoughts and Rambles)

We have a LOT to unpack here oh my god oh my god

When I say I was screaming and yelling during the episode, I mean I was LITERALLY screaming and yelling

This post is mostly screeching and capital letters, you’ve been warned

“So cold” “life or death meant nothing” - well shit. Accurate description of a Spectre attack damn

I didn’t know what those creepy noises were at first and I was sat here absolutely TERRIFIED because it was creepy as fuck. Then I realized it was cliff ghasts because they said something that I recognized from the book and I was like “oh shit”

Pan and Will talking is the sweetest omg

The fact that Pan told him that Lyra thinks he’s as brave as King Iorek Byrnison :’)

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had” “You’re her best friend too” - STOP, MY HEART

Lyra was awake and heard the whole conversation :3

“I’m no longer an aeronaut” :( “I’m an insect” - LMAO

Hester and Lee’s banter remains my favourite thing and now it’s bittersweet tbh...

“You could never be an insect, Lee” “Okay, hare” - bless them

Marisa finding where Lyra was staying and then finding Lyra’s coat?? And crying with it pressed to her face?? :’(

In case I haven’t mentioned it already, I am incredibly gay for the witches/their aesthetic/costume. Absolutely beautiful queens, all of them

Oh hi, it’s Mary and the two kids!

The fact that Mary helped them find their adults :’)

Also, “We like you miss” - BLESS

I’m kind of confused as to whether the blue flower petals are important or if it’s just her smelling them? IDK

“I’m close to my father, it’s time I found him” - OOF OKAY UMM ARE YOU SURE

“I let my best friend down” - Noooo Lyra, no you didn’t! :( Your dad is a terrible parent and killed him, that’s not your fault!

“Maybe this is how I let you down” - Well done, Asriel and Marisa, you’ve fucked up a perfectly fine child is what you’ve done

Will telling Lyra that she hasn’t let him down :3

That witch turning up because she was trying to warn Marisa about the spectres, only for Marisa to torture and kill her... oof

FUCKING MONKEY I CAN’T DECIDE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM

“She’s MY daughter” - Okay, damn, lady...

“EVE. She’s the mother of all” - OH FUCK YOU TOLD HER. OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

THE SPECTRE ATE HER DÆMON OMG NO THIS IS HORRIFYING WTAF

Seriously, the way the witch went so grey and lifeless and just fell to her knees and down... Urgh, my stomach is turning

Just when I thought I hated the monkey again, he starts whimpering because he’s afraid of the Spectres :(

“Stop whimpering” - DAMN MARISA YOU ARE A STONE COLD BITCH HUH

Pan being the damn voice of reason and telling Lyra they should stay with the witches like yes, Lyra, listen to him for once!!!

Okay but why are the Magisterium soldiers lowkey dressed like German soldiers from one of the World Wars???

I’m not really surprised that BBC left out the detail of Ruta and Asriel fucking when she found him to be honest XD

So the witches think that the Æsahættr is a person but it’s actually the KNIFE. AND THEY DON’T REALIZE. RUTA YOU DON’T NEED TO GO ANYWHERE, IT’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

“...That’s not my dæmon.” “Run.” - OH SHIT OKAY MY WHOLE BODY JUST TENSED UP

So umm Lee got shot and FUCK NO FUCK NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS EMOTIONALLY THANKS

I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN OKAY

“You’re either with me or against me” Umm he’s your dæmon?!?!

THE WAY SHE SCREAMED AT HIM OH MY GOD SHE’S FUCKING TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

“What are you frightened of?” - oh, I don’t know, Marisa, maybe because YOU FUCKING SCREECHED AT HIM. MAYBE HE’S FRIGHTENED OF YOU

Also I love the detail of Marisa getting onto her hands and knees, sort of crouching and mirroring the monkey’s body language. I just love the parallel

The way the monkey flinched from her when she went to touch him omg :( No dæmon should be THIS afraid of their person (or at all?!?!)

Honestly, I find this series’ portrayal of Marisa fascinating tbh

“We have to do whatever it takes to keep her safe” - Umm, like maybe drugging her and hiding her in a cave for months? 🤔

Also in case I didn’t say this before, the fact she has complete control of the Spectres is fucking scary and always has been from the very first time I read the books

Okay so Lee is fully aware that he’s going to die if he stays behind but he does it because he knows that it’s the best chance of making sure that Lyra ends up under the knife’s protection (because Jopari will find her). All Lee wants is for Lyra to be safe and that hurts my heart so much, he loves this child so much :’(

“I love that little girl like a daughter” - LEE STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY BREAKING AS IT IS

NO NO NO NO I AM NOT AND NEVER WILL BE READY

Oh hey Red PAN-da (sorry I know I keep repeating that joke but honestly LOOK AT HIM)

“Once I change, you’ll stop changing” - OH SHIT. So we’re having THAT conversation then

“What do you think you’ll be?” “A flea I hope” - LMFAO I LOVE IT

“Is it Will that’s changing you?” “I think” - FORESHADOWING FOR AMBER SPYGLASS ANYONE?!

All the meanwhile, while Lee is dying and shit is going down, Ms Mary Malone is just chilling in a cave on a mountain by a waterfall, just reading

I literally struggled to watch Lee’s final scenes. I literally didn’t want to watch it because I cried reading it in the book, and I knew I’d be the same here

The fact that Lee HATES taking away people’s lives but he says “it’s theirs or Lyra’s”... I love him. He loves her so much.

“Think about anything, think about bacon!” - LMFAO I LOVE YOU HESTER YOU ABSOLUTE GEM

THE BULLET CLIPPED HIS SCALP AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK 

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” - NO HESTER NO DON’T YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF DARLIN’, YOU ARE THE BEST AND WE LOVE YOU AND LEE LOVES YOU

I do this everytime I read the book and I did here even though I know what happens, but I was praying mentally that maybe Serafina would reach Lee in time... just maybe...

I’m really sitting here crying over Hester and Lee on a Sunday night, love that for me

Hester limping :(

“Don’t you go before I do” - FUCK YOU BBC AND PHILIP I’M SOBBING MY EYES OUT

“Oh how far we flew” - STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR-

I literally yelled and cried out “NOOO” when Hester faded away and Lee died. I am so upset even though I KNEW it was coming. I am literally not okay.

Oh god no Will, now is not the time to be walking away from Lyra and that witch 

Also why is that witch asleep on guard?? Come on, love, do better, it’s not like these are the two most important children in all the universes.... 

To be fair to Marisa, I’d feel pretty invincible if I were climbing up a mountain while the Spectres were guarding me/on my side

WILL AND JOHN FINALLY MET AHHHH

“I was told I’d find my father here”  - YEAH AND THAT’S HIM WILL ASDFGHJKL;

I’m low-key disappointed that there’s no brawl between Will and Jopari here. Like they instantly recognize each other and... hmm. I know there has to be changes but still.

“Your mother, Will, where is she?” - Awww. John really didn’t stop loving her :’)

“My son... is the Knife Bearer” - oooooohhhhhhh

“You have a dæmon” - that’s right, Will. Don’t worry, you’ll get one next season

The way I audible went “oh shIT” when Mrs Coulter found Lyra fast asleep. Like I said, I knew what was going to happen but STILL

I’m not really surprised that those Spectres killed the witch who was supposed to be guarding Lyra and Will tbh like that’s what happens when only ONE witch guards two teenagers and that witch falls asleep

The way that Lyra panicked when she woke up and saw her mother stroking her cheek omg 

Off topic but I’ve only just realized that Jopari has a fucking man-bun LMFAO OKAY

The fact that Jopari tried to get back to Will and Elaine but couldn’t will always hurt me

“And you chose these people over your family?” - I MEAN-

“I’ve thought about you every day.” - Awww

So John tells Will that he has to go to Asriel and bring him the knife, and he tells him all about the war that’s coming and I have LITERAL chills because I’m so ready

“And then we go home?” “... And then we go home.” - RIP MY HEART OUT, IT WOULD HURT LESS

“I’m not strong enough” - yes you are, Will! I promise you, you are! And Jopari says, “Both of us were brought here” - exactly! You were brought there for a reason by fate or whatever you want to call it!

“Your duty was to be my father” - WILL REALLY CAME FOR HIS DAD LIKE THAT I GUESS

“Look what you’ve become without me” - Oh my god, just when I thought I wasn’t going to cry again

JOPARI HUGGING WILL, SEEING THE SOLDIER AIMING, AND THEN PUTTING HIMSELF BETWEEN THEM SO HE TOOK THE BULLET INSTEAD OF WILL ASDFGHJKL;

So in the book, Jopari is killed by a scorned witch who had once asked him to be her lover, but he had turned her down (because of Elaine and Will obviously), and she kills Jopari in front of Will and then he kills her (I think?). But here it’s just a soldier leftover from the Lee vs Magisterium fight, so... yeah. Kind of a little peeved about the change personally but whatever I guess.

“The night is full of angels, they will guide you now” - AHHHHH

Also, might just be me, but maybe that line would have been slightly more impactful if the scene had taken place at night

This show really said “fuck healthy parental figures” I guess

Except Will’s mum, she’s the best and if anything were to happen to her we’d all riot

SAYAN KÖTÖR FADING AWAY NOOOO I HATE SEEING DÆMONS DIE

Okay, last little gripe, but I just wanted to say that in the book, Will doesn’t realize it’s his dad until literally the last second before his dad dies - like they both realize and then BAM, Jopari is killed. And while I do love the father-son reunion, I am kind of annoyed by the change because it was such a huge punch in the gut in the book that Will searches for so long for his dad, only to lose him the second he finds him.

Serafina finding Lee’s body and kissing his forehead was yet another punch in the gut, thanks Pullman/BBC/BadWolf

The fact that Will had to bury his dad :(

Also, WILL WEARING JOPARI’S JACKET OH MY GOD MY HEART

Oof that shot of his amputated fingers...

So the narration, when it started I thought it was Jopari at first, like from one of his letters... but then as it continued, I went “hang on”, and then I said outloud “wait, is that ASRIEL?!”

DID MARISA REALLY PUT LYRA IN A FUCKING TRUNK?!? BITCH ARE YOU OKAY?!?

Will putting his hood up like his dad did just hits differently

Okay so um ASRIEL HI I WASN’T EXPECTING TO SEE YOU THIS SEASON OH MY GOD THE SCREAM I LET OUT

HIS MONOLOGUE BY THE WAY IS FUCKING ART AND A MASTERPIECE BUT I WAS TOO BUSY CRYING OVER JAMES MCAVOY TO WRITE THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE DOWN

Oh, hi Stelmaria!

It always makes me scream that this man is not only Lord Asriel now but he’s also fucking Mr Tumnus and MOTHERFUCKING BILL DENBROUGH LIKE HOW IS THIS MAN INVOLVED IN SO MANY OF MY FANDOMS?!?

ANGELS ANGELS OH MY FUCKING GOD-

“We stand with you, Asriel Belacqua” - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Let us prepare for war” - FUUUUUUUUCK

(I was deadly serious when I said this was just me screaming and crying by the way)

I’m still reeling over the fact that Marisa put her daughter in a fucking trunk. Like I get you can’t exactly carry a drugged child about in the open but Jesus Christ, love, really?!?

Also Ruth Wilson / Marisa Coulter in a headscarf? *chef kiss*

The way that the screen went to black as she put the lid on the trunk down - SHIT OH SHIT GOOSEBUMPS

THE CREDIT SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IT HAS FUCKING ANGELS NOW I’M-

I WASN’T EXPECTING THE POST CREDITS SCENE OH MY GOD

ROGER?! ROGER! IT’S ROGER I’M NOT OKAY-

BBC YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT ON US LIKE THAT FUCK-

“What is this place?” - I’M SCREAMING SO LOUD I CAN’T HOLD IT IN

For anyone unaware, the reason I’m screaming so loud over the post-credits scene is because in TAS, while Lyra is drugged and in a groggy sleep, she has these visions of Roger talking to her from the Land of the Dead, which then later leads to her and Will actually GOING to the Land of the Dead and... well, the rest is even HUGER spoilers but YEAH I’M NOT OKAY.

Honestly, I’m just so happy and emotional because I’ve been waiting over a decade for a decent adaptation of not only NL but for TSK and TAS too, and we’re 2/3 there now. Just one more book/series to go... I wish we could have it now. I really hope that filming for the final one starts ASAP because if we have to wait two years just to see the conclusion to this series, I might cry.

This series is so amazing, and this season especially has been so incredible to watch. It’s been the highlight of my week for seven weeks, and I have no idea what I’ll do with my Sundays now that it’s over. I’ve asked for the DVD for S2 for my birthday already (since it comes out 29th December and my birthday is 13th January... just saying), and words can’t describe how much I do love this series. I know it sounds hollow since I say it about so many things I’m into, but this was such a huge part of my childhood and it’s one of my favourite fantasy series of all time. It’s truly one of the most incredible pieces of literature and now it’s making for incredible television... I love it so much.

[djblendsky]

✘ BLENDSKYS Festival Radioshow #16 ✘

*Note*

Not a bored regular radioshow! Fast transitions!

30 minutes / 1 Hour the best Edm tracks all over the world!

Soundcloud: https://bit.ly/BSRadioshowVol16Soundcloud

Mixcloud: https://bit.ly/BSRadioshowVol16Mixcloud

💬 Download here: https://www.slammes.com/gate/10894/

➥ BLENDSKYS Festival Radioshow playlist on Mixcloud: bit.ly/3uPJ0zf

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🔊Tracklist:

1. Andrew Rayel feat. Sam Gray - Wild Feelings

2. Nils Van Zandt X BACKFLASH Ft. Basti Woods - Gone (Take On Me)

3. Megan Thee Stallion & Dua Lipa & David Guetta - Sweetest Pie (David Guetta Dance Remix Extended)

4. Endless Summer, Sam Feldt, Jonas Blue, Sam Derosa - Till The End

5. Dubdogz x Selva - Are You Down

6. R3hab - My Pony (Kryder Extended Remix)

7. Nikk & AVIIZ - Won't Leave Tonight

8. Manse x Jac & Harri - Nobody

9. Nick Havsen & Mike Miami - Harmonia

10. Krevix & Miami Boys - Just One Touch

11. KURA - Bananza

12. Öwnboss, Sevek - Move Your Body (Saint Punk Extended Remix) 

13. Mr. Sid & Serdar Bingol - Electric

14. We Do Voodoo, Amfree, Dj Shog - Braveheart

15. Winning Team - Party

16. Sputniq & Retrika - Break Down

17. Steff Da Campo - Hot in Here (Öwnboss Extended Remix) 

18. Gabry Ponte, Djs From Mars - Killing Me Softly 

19. Nick Havsen & David White - Ocean

20. Martin Jensen x Fastboy - One Day

21. Bastille, Alok - Run Into Trouble (Jonas Blue Extended Mix)

22. Stan Kayh & Oskana - Elephants 

23. Milky Bass - Transcendence 

24. Yellow Pvnk - Rythm of the Night

25. NWYR x Wiwek - Cocoon

26. Pete Tong & Becky Hill - You Got The Love (Tiësto Remix)

27. Alesso & Zara Larsson - Words 

28. Alle Farben & Keanu Silva - Music Sounds Better With You 

29. Vion Konger, Ken & Rebetz - Never Gonna Stop

30. Faithless - We Come 2022 (NoizBasses Remix)

31. Tiësto & Deorro - Savage

[pogueslandia]

hi millie!! for the love letters, i'm requesting: romantic, she/her, and i can't decide who so it's up to you but pansy, hermione, harry, or cho would be ideal. take your time love <33

PANSY —tap

HERMIONE —tap

CHO —tap

Hey puppet,

I know, I know, I’m writing you a letter, surprised me, too, but I had no other option to resort to. You have been continually running in my mind all throughout the day, all night. Honestly, don’t you ever get tired? Probably not, because you’ve been in there ever since we parted for summer break. I know that I tend to be closed off sometimes but cherish this letter because you’ll get to take a peek into my mind. Asteria, every time I think of you, I get hit by these conflicting emotions, and I don’t know how to express myself. You have no idea what you’ve done to me and now I can’t think of anything beyond you; You with that charming smile, those enticing green eyes, and your gorgeous brown locks with those stupid highlights, can’t help it. I really think it should be pink or emerald green. My day starts with you and ends with you, my pretty girl, even if you aren’t by my side.

I’m still clueless as to what I’ve possibly done to have such a sweetheart like you in my life. You’re the best, the sweetest, the most genuine, the most loving and mischievous girl I met. + hottest ;) I don’t only love you, but I also respect you and you have all of my admiration for you. I do not exactly know how to thank Merlin for letting you have the best taste in women (therefore having me), but all I know is that I’ll love you for forever and always. You’ll always have my heart. I would’ve been lost without you, I don’t know how I managed to do everything before I even met you.

You complete, puppet, thank you for never failing to make me happy and loved.

Yours,

Pansy Parkinson <3

P.S.-- Now that you’ve read this, burn it before anyone else manages to read it.

.・。.・゜・.・・゜・。..・。.・゜・.・・゜・。..・。.・゜・.・・゜・。..・。

Dear Asteria,

I was browsing through a greek mythology book in the library while Ron and Harry are, doing Merlin knows what, and I somehow managed to come across your name. I always knew your name was special but did you know that ‘Asteria’  means “star”? Asteria is also apparently the greek goddess of justice and innocence. This doesn’t really surprise me because I know that you have no problem calling out people on their mistakes and/or confronting them. Although “innocence”? Let’s not dwell on that topic. Besides the point, Asteria, you’re my star. I hope you know how much our relationship has come to mean to me. Getting to know you more over these last few months has changed my life. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, possibly even happier than when I first received my Hogwarts letter, and I owe that all to you. I never even realized that you’re the missing piece that I longed for all my life.

I thought I saw my future as bright as day before when I really just convinced myself that it is despite it being blurry and vague, but now? I’m absolutely certain that it’s clearer than ever-- Asteria, my star, you are the light in the dark that guides my step to where I want to be. As much as I don’t want to believe such things as soulmates, I’m going to speak figuratively, my entire world was once overcast by subtle shades of black and white, but then I took a sudden turn in the hallways and I bumped into you, I got to stare into those eyes of yours and I began to see all these types of colors, and in my heart, I felt this warm feeling inside me, and just then I just knew that I needed you in my life.

I adore your sweet smile and your gentle eyes. I love your quiet strength and your desire to do what’s right. You have so much love for others, for me, even though you have quite the temper. Your example makes me want to be the best version of myself. You can always make me laugh, even though I undoubtedly don’t want to. I know that you love reading just as much as going out, so I want to let you know that I appreciate you for taking the time of your day to spend some light reading with me. When I look into your eyes-- those gorgeous green eyes-- I could practically see our future together. And you by my side, no matter where that may be, is nowhere else I’d rather be.

Love, Hermione.

P.S-- Harry says hi, I reckon he took quite a liking towards you.

P.P.S -- Don’t be late for the DA meeting!

.・。.・゜・.・・゜・。..・。.・゜・.・・゜・。..・。.・゜・.・・゜���。..・。

Asteria, My Love,

As I’m writing this letter today, I have a million thoughts running through my mind. This letter is supposed to be a confirmation or authentication of the love I feel for you-- a love that is honestly hard to put into words because it’s the type of love that can only be felt. Do you know how much you mean to me? You’re the reason why I wake up every morning, the reason I go to bed and fall asleep peacefully. The person who never fails to put a smile on my face. Looking at it, I realized that your love has done so much for me in my life-- you have offered me opportunities and new-found adventures that no other person could offer me. I love you so much-- more than words will ever be expressed.

When you walked into my life, the sunshine and fire walked in with you. I cannot thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. I can only repay you by loving you unconditionally and wholeheartedly. You are my dream come true-- you’re the love of my life.

Although now that we’re on that topic, I do not know how you can think so poorly of yourself with these overly-exaggerated insecurities of yours. You are perfect in my eyes, my love, and I would do anything for you to see that from my point of view. You have nothing to be ashamed of because I love you just the way you are.

I love you, Asteria.

-Cho Chang

P.S.-- I know how you love those muggle hot topic jewelry, I somehow managed to come across them and bought you a few, I hope you like them! Also, love your new hair, try pink or purple next time xx

@choke-me-pansy

[sasskarian]

I know you're not exactly a DA blog anymore... But... I just finished DA2 for the very first time and, and. I got myself Inquisition with all DLCs. I need to know what happens. I want the poor baby Cullen to be happy :(

Nonnie, I am still at my heart very much a DA blog (and Mass Effect; I just tend to smear new obsessions everywhere. Like finger painting). I curate my experience as much as I can due to the fandom being shit, but my love for DA is strong and steady. 

The best thing I can say is, play through the game and DLCs. (Tho suggested order is Jaws > Descent > Trespasser) I promise you, Cullen has the option of being happy. I wouldn’t write about it if I didn’t see those paths, and at least some of them are canon. 

I know what you mean, tho. Cullen is, to some of my friends’ dismay, near and dear to my heart. He’s my canon quiz’s romance, for many reasons. The truth is, I struggle with the fandoms’ interpretations of him and was just talking about this with my DA/FO/ME bestie @asaara-writes the other day. I think a lot of Cullen’s trauma is easily missed or overlooked in favor of louder plots (like Fenris’s, who doesn’t get hated on nearly so much for his hatred and distrust of mages, or Anders who hates Templars and is lauded for it. If I see another ANDERS WAS RIGHT banner, I’m gonna overclock somebody’s capacitors)

(Pardon me, I’ll throw this under a cut because wall of text, but I have some got-damn Opinions on Cullen and how the fandom treats him)

But for me, I’m neither in the “Cullen is poor bab who never did anything wrong uwu” or the “Cullen is a horrible bastard and should be set afire” camp. I walk a more moderate line, and here’s why:

I have a Cullen. 

My fiance, he’s... so much like Cullen that it breaks my heart. Military vet, disillusioned with his desire to do good in the world and the realities of corruption and power abuse. Substance abuse issues, and recovery from addiction. Said some bad things/had bad opinions when he was younger due to abuse by certain groups of people, and has since reformed and is trying to continue changing. Abuse survivor. Blood on his hands from his career. Trying his best to find his way in a world that he doesn’t understand. So I see the similarities, and I live with the reality of what that kind of history and life is like. 

Cullen was a fresh-faced 18 year old in the Kinloch Circle (however old his in-game image looks, he was canon 18-20). Which, by canon, was one of the less problematic, more lenient Circles (though you have to have Mage origin to find that stuff out). I don’t think he’d been a Templar long at that point. And he joined the Templars out of a desire to do good in the world. His examples of Templar behavior were those stationed in a small village, who had more leniency and less lawkeeping duties. Honnleath was tiny, and quiet. I’m going on assumption here, on my own history of small towns vs larger cities, that there wasn’t much evidence of power hunger and abuse an eight year old would notice.

Note that he remains kind and even remorseful at some of his duties (for instance, having to attend Harrowings) even under a hateful man like Greagoir.

When Uldred takes over the Circle and kills everyone, Cullen is the last left. He watches possessed mages and demons run wild in his home, killing and torturing his friends. If you’re a mage origin, he talks about how the demons used his feelings and affection for you, inappropriate though they were, to torment him. It’s implied through dialogue that at least some of those demons sexually abused him. 

Yes, in his panic and fresh trauma, he begs the Warden to kill any mages found left in the Circle. I wonder why. Tumblr at large acts like the only way for PTSD and trauma to be exhibited is through cowering and nightmares, but it’s well known among people who have PTSD (including myself) that outrage, hair trigger tempers, and anger issues are as common as crying jags and insomnia. 

After the resolution of Broken Circle, Cullen is reassigned to Kirkwall. Arguably, this is the worst possible Circle he could have been sent to in the entirety of the goddamn world. Not only is Kirkwall famous for increased blood mage activity (both due to history and also due to Templar behavior), which is one of his trauma-groups, but Meredith hates mages, and rules over them with an iron fist. She is fucking crazy, and whether her past makes her a sympathetic villain or not (ymmv), she downright encouraged the abuse of mages and as she loses her mind, we see her start accusing everyone of blood magic. 

Canon states that there are Templars in Kirkwall who sexually abuse mages, who torture them, and who kill them at will, and these are never dealt with. Meredith has no desire to change the way the Gallows is run, and it’s said or implied that before her reign as the overseer, the Gallows-- while still not great-- was not this bad. 

So, freshly traumatized and young Templar is sent to the worst possible place in Thedas, under the command of a crazed mage hater, surrounded by the very thing that will trigger him nigh constantly. I see a lot of the fandom say “well why didn’t he quit/leave?” And I wonder if those fans understand what indoctrination can do. Specifically, military indoctrination. You’re told that the ranks are your home, your family, the only ones who can or will ever understand you. You’re told this for so long that it becomes a life raft. It becomes your world truth. That’s the nature of emotional abuse that fosters codependency: it literally reshapes your world. 

Added to that, Templars are controlled by the Chantry through lyrium, an addictive drug that quitting is difficult and surviving the withdrawal of is often fatal. (that’s another rant entirely that can be summed up as tl;dr fuck the fucking Chantry)

The Templars were the only thing he knew. After that kind of soul-shaking trauma, do you leave behind everything you ever knew? (Remember, he was 13 when he joined into this kind of brainwashing.) No. You cleave to what you can, to what keeps you getting through the day. 

Cullen spent a further ten years in Kirkwall, watching the city fall apart under Qunari, blood magic, and Meredith’s increasing insanity. There was no reprieve for his PTSD: everywhere he turned, there was Something. And yet, we hear in Inquisition (depending on player choices, ofc) Samson say that Cullen tried to continue to be kind. He didn’t abuse mages, he tried to protect them where and how he could. 

[Samson: He arrived after the trouble at the ferelden circle. Cullen jumped at his shadow in those days, always on the watch for abominations and demons. Did right by the mages, though, never played rough with them. Not like Meredith.]

Was it limited? Yes. Was it hampered by circumstance? Yes. Should he have tried harder? Yes. 

But he still tried. 

Does he say regrettable things? Yes. Does he regret those things later? Yes. 

I had a friend, who I am no longer friends with for various reasons, tell me that “If Cullen was a good person, he wouldn’t need a redemption arc.” And... no, No, that’s not how redemption arcs work. Everyone does problematic things. Everyone who grows up brainwashed has to unlearn shit, and atone for shit. 

Cullen still struggles with mages. He still has a deep fear of them. Partly this is the Templar in him talking, partly this is trauma. And, here’s where we break from canon and go deep into psychology land: I think partly because he’s projecting. Cullen cannot imagine forgiveness for what he’s done. I wonder if part of him fears mages because he expects-- perhaps even some part of him desires-- retribution from them for his actions and past. 

And there’s things that have been retconned or that were misleading in previous games. For example, the rumor that Cullen escaped after Broken Circle and went on a mage murdering spree. That was nothing but a rumor, but the fandom levies it against him as if it happened.

But if Cullen “hated” mages, you wouldn’t be able to romance him as a mage. And honestly, that mage romance in DAI? Is one of the sweetest, most tender things I’ve seen in DA. As a mage, you can choose to help him past his fears, help him with his lyrium addiction. Help him grow as a person, and watch as he becomes a better person. As he learns that mages are more than their magic, and that Templars are so often wrong and awful in their treatment of them. 

I find Cullen to be well written. And believable as hell. The portrayal of him-- from the mood swings, to the trauma, to the shaky but steadying growth-- feels real, and I can back that up with my fiance’s own similar path. 

So. To wrap up because hoooooo, Opinions, play through the game. There’s a lot of gems there. <3 

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Mount Everest Ain't Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem! reader, Part 11.)

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like a scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: Inspired by the nicer, happier Euphoria soundtrack (Florida by AQ, Eyes Closed by Curren$y and All That by Drama Relax). I wrote this fckn part for three days, hope it is worth it at least.

Warnings: Don't be silly, wrap your Willy; whether you're doing illegal stuff or completely legal shit. JUST IF YOU DO ALL THAT, BE CAREFUL, OK?

Word Count: 4.7 K

Read the rest here, babe:  PART 1  PART 2  PART 3  PART 4  PART 5  PART 6  PART 7  PART 8  PART 9  PART 10

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

Tagging: @charmed-asylum, @jeyramarie, @pantherxrogers

Before the downfall, there's a ride upon a rollercoaster. Everything is just fine, you feel happy and you have your inner peace to keep.

You feel like you're on the top of the whole world, you’re beyond everything that could ever hurt you. Friends have your side no matter what, you have some fam to live for. At those moments, you never realize that it can all fuck up in an instance. When you look forward in front of yourself, into your future, there's nothing that can go wrong.

You felt it with him, with Fezco. Every kiss felt like a heaven's touch, his clothes were the most comfortable ever and when you snuggled in the evening, you felt nothing like safety in your chest. Maybe Fez wasn't the smartest or the most talkative boy in the hood, but he sure was the kindest one, looking our for you and your safety along with Jules and Rue. Sometimes he took you out of school, sometimes you saw each other in the evening.

You lived for every small moment you could spend with him. So, when after three other months since the fight in front of your school, there was one evening you could sneak out of the house, you immediately took it to your chance and just left to stay at his place even if it was only for one night. You were knocking on the door when the sundown came and you had that smile on your face.

Ashtray had voluntarily left the place when he heard that you should come over, so there was only Fez, you and his nana. But you were calm about her being present because she was out of the world and Fez was taking care of her. As time passed, he let you visit her. You always talked to her in a nice, smooth tone, about the things that occurred in your daily life.

And your parents liked Fezco as well. He was invited to a lot of family hangouts, your mom loved to spend his time with him because he was acting so nice around you. They even framed you a picture of you and him from one of your hikes, when you were hanging on his shoulders with your legs around his waist. He loved to call you a monkey. 

But that was long forgotten when you were standing in front of his flat, knocking on the door, being all nervous about the evening all of a sudden.

"Wazzup', babe?" - The door opened and his tired face looked from behind it. You were proud that you could make him smile only the way you could. No one was able to make him smile except Rue when you were not near.

"Hi, darling." - You whispered and tiptoed to kiss him gently with your eyes closed. - "I have bought those sweets you like so much."

"Yo da best and no-one can tell otherwise." - He hugged you and helped you with your bag. - "Imma help my na, so can you do the coffee? Don't cook, we can order somethin’." - Fez said and disappeared into the back of his place. You made him the coffee as he loved, making some sweet one for yourself and you just laid down on his big plushy sofa, chilling. You were scrolling through your Instagram, adding a picture to your story.

Fez was smiling wildly there, holding a cone with ice-cream, with his hoodie on his head, but you could see how your hand holds yours in that picture. This picture was one of the sweetest you ever took of him. He looked exactly his age there, not tired, his eyes weren't flat at all. He wasn't a dealer. He wasn't someone who dropped out of high school. He was just happy. You could see that he looks really in love at that one.

A girl who was your closest friend back in the town you were living in texted you almost immediately: You two are such a couple goals. 💙

You couldn't say otherwise. The second one who reacted was Rue, of course, as always: Yaaas, slayy queen. She was fangirling over you two a serious lot since you got back together. And you were as well.

"What ya up to? Ya lookin' all happy." - Two hands hugged both of your shoulders in a tight-ish grip. Fez's palms were warm as always. You leaned into his touch.

"I'm here and with you. What should I tell you? That just makes me happy." - You said with a shining smile, leaning the back of your head into his belly, looking him into the face. Everybody could tell you that you were on fucking cloud nine when you were with Fezco. At school, you smiled sometimes, drifting off to the distance a lot, but you felt sad in some way. But it always disappeared when you saw him in front of the school in his car, waiting for you.

"Ya really not too hard to satisfy." - He kissed your forehead for a long time, his eyes closed and when he stood up again, he was smiling. You could tell he had a joint or two. But you were not making a deal out of it. Fez and weed just got along. - "So tell me what ya want, baby girl. Will be orderin' the food for ya."

"Just cheese pizza or some Thai, nothing too expansive. I can have some cereal when I'll be hungry." - You leaned into the sofa, taking another sip of the coffee.

Fezco couldn't take his eyes off you. You had messy hair falling free from your bun and your bit tired eyes, but your smile indicated that you feel safe and safe with him.

"Ya want to lay down for a bit? Will wake ya up when the courier arrives." - Fez asked when he was dialing some restaurant. You leaned into the back of the sofa and leaned your chin into your hands.

"Yep. I think I'm gonna take a big, long nap." - You nodded and raised your chin to his direction. He leaned down to kiss you slowly, but firmly, taking a hold of his palm on your hair. Just holding a fistful of it before actually noticing the phone operator on the other end of the call. He lends you a blanket, making sure that you're warm before dealing with the man or woman on the other side.

You fell asleep for an hour and a half, Fezco massaging your feet and watching the TV while smoking the joint he made for himself. His touch light and gentle and it lullabied you to sleep. You were done for. A gentle kiss into the crook of your neck has woken you up. And a smell of freshly made coffee and some dinner, but you got up because of two big hands around your waist and a body of a gentle bear being pressed on yours. He was pretty heavy sometimes.

Your lips curled into a lazy, happy smile as you hugged the back of his neck with your hand, playing with his short hair. He was like a puppy, kissing your neck gently, playing with curves of your body. He could feel that you're happy and well-rested at the moment.

"I'm up, baby boy. I will get up soon, I swear." - You giggled when you felt the curious tips of his fingers crawling under your t-shirt. Technically, it was his, but you didn't seem to even think about giving it back. It was like he wasn't listening, he was just kissing you more and more intensely, getting into your personal zone. It felt serious all of a sudden, your heart raced and your back started to arch to his chest.

This didn't feel like your normal cuddly session. From a moment to moment, you felt as your body burnt. You... Wanted him. That happened a few times before, but it has never lead anywhere. But that time was different.

He made sure that he found his way to get the blanket off your body, letting you there with your head tilted back and your mouth opened and breathing heavily. Fez was thankful to you for having only your shorts on.

You may have kissed some boys, touch a very few dicks, but no boy ever touched you... Only one of them dared to. It was never with such determination and warmth. 

But this one was different. You feel that Fez is into that a big time. Maybe being high helped him to read you way better. He was defined sure when his nose was raising the shirt up and licked a small way from your belly to your bra.

The dinner was long forgotten as you felt the warmth of his body, the passion of his hands and the love coming from his moves. The t-shirt left your body and you saw as he slowly leaned down to rest his chin on your breasts pushed up with the tight, innocently white bra.

Nothing could happen that night, bud even tho you took a long bath, completely shaved your legs and the rest, taking a duo of undies on. You wished for something to happen, but it was even more than it was in your mind. A palm traveled under your butt, slowly slipping in under your shorts and panties, finding your entrance slowly. You told him nobody ever took you as a woman, of course, you were honest with him.

His fingers only smoothed you a bit, but you moaned out loud. Fezco was unbelievable because you haven't got any idea of how he could reach that part of your body so confidently and gently - that wasn't even possible. He must've broken his hand. He was basically just smoothing over the outer lips, but it felt like he was showing you the space for you.

You hugged his shoulders tightly, opening your mouth and moaned out loud. It was funny for him because as you trembled and wanted him to reach higher, you traveled under him like a boat on the sea. You panted when the hand disappeared from under your pants and you looked at him with a disappointed face. Your gaze met him in the middle and so you asked him why.

"This ain't nothin', baby girl. Gonna show ya more today." - He said with a small smile and slowly took off your fuckingly tight bra. It was some time since he saw your boobs for the last time, in the swimming pool. They were really a masterpiece in his eyes, he was really amused, almost childishly fascinated, by the way how they bounced and how the nipples reacted to his thumb or his tongue so fast. And you were about to go crazy.

You saw porn, how the man could blow your back out, fuck you senselessly, slowly, with desire and passion, but this was so... Real. This was like nothing you've ever seen or feel. His tongue felt wet, hot and firm at the same time, your cheeks were rosy and you feel as you slowly began to sweat. Your heartbeat was off the charts.

"Oh my lord." - You whispered quietly as you felt his hot mouth on your boobs but a cold breeze hugged your crotch when your pants and panties slowly disappeared from your body. He was so smooth that he occupied your mind first and then he did what he planned all along. He was a good player. And you wanted to be played with.

So meanwhile his fingers worked wonders on your boobs, his face suddenly disappeared between your legs. At that moment your eyes opened widely and your mouth made an erotic noise. In a contraction you hugged his jaws with your inner thighs tightly, your body was looking like a bow and your face was just like a painting. You looked so beautiful and lovely when he was eating you our, making slow and intense circles around your clit. And his beard?

That worked fucking wonder between your legs. It was teasing you, adding to the final effect. He swayed his tongue faster and faster and you did something you heard is called riding his face, moving your face in his rhythm.

Some warmth began to concentrate inside of you, directly next to the place where he was working on you. It was more and more intense as the time slowly passed, and when you were more and more tensed, your sounds became louder and higher, heavier because you tried to breathe between the sounds.

Your legs on his back trembled and your feet began to curl when you tried to hold that amazing feeling back. And when his finger caressed your outer lips, you just exploded all around his face. You curled into one big ball and tried to breathe it out, but he worked serious wonders on you. And he didn't stop when you yelled his name between the moans, mainly because of you held his face in your crotch.

It was like his mouth was praising you and just made for your little special place, as you called your pussy. He made you brutally cum without even entering you with a finger. You were completely done.

"That was..." - You whispered and your body just relaxed. You closed your eyes and smiled, being completely out of your mind. So that was a drug so-called orgasm and you were sure that Fez can give you many, many of that.

He watched you when he held your thigh when he was kissing it slowly and his eyes were shining. He was wet all over his mouth and beard. But both of you looked equally contented and happy. You slowly caressed his hair as he caressed you with his hand travel, from your knee up to your bum with delicate moves.

"That was fucking unbelievable." - You whispered and only after he was sure that you won't pass out because of the bliss your brain was occupied with, he climbed to look into your eyes and to kiss your lips, giving you a firm tight kiss, again tugging your hair. You hugged his fully clothed body with your, which was completely naked.

"Ya like a monkey." - Fez murmured with a giggle when he kissed a trail down to your earlobe, tugging it with his teeth.

"And you love it." - You murmured back and clothed yourself with a blanket, crawling back to his arms, leaning your forehead into his neck. You were held in his arms as you were slowly drifting off. So that was how it felt like. Physical love.

Yeah, you have had a hand between your legs, but no-one has ever made love to you. This just simply happened, both of you just wanted it, so you didn't stop and just went with the flow. And you felt like a true woman. Even when your virginity was left untouched.

"Why I have never felt this amazing? Where were you hiding that tongue, baby?" - You asked and slowly put your panties and a t-shirt on when Fez got up to fetch you some food. You curled into a ball, still feeling the sensation in the small bungle of nerves a lot, taking a mug from him. As always, he ordered your all-time favorite, hugging your shoulder with his arm as he leaned you into his body, continuing with watching the TV.

"So ya liked it?" - He asked with an amused tone and took a bite from your meal.

"I want you to eat me out all the fucking time." - You whispered with your lips near to his, then you gave him a quick peck on his lips.

"Alrite, just have a bath, eat a little and have some coffee. We can do it again how many times you would like to, we have the whole nite." - Fez told you with a tired smile and you nodded and put the tip of your nose onto his, before watching the TV again.

Fez was a man of his word and his bed was messy and wet from sweat soon, as his head disappeared between your legs more than two other times. When orgasm swayed your hips for the third time that evening, you felt like you're on the edge of Eden, just about to fall down. Your body was tired, hurting in the best kind of pain and you smiled without having a clue about it. He worked up wonders with you.

It was a strange feeling, having your slit wet from his saliva all over it, it felt too wet, too dripping and too gentle. It was unnatural but somehow natural more than anything else in the world. You also found out that your legs were amazingly flexible - Fezco could put your knees on the bed and it didn't hurt at all, which was a serious fucking surprise for you. The hormones made you flexible like a fucking gymnast.

"This is the best feeling in the whole world." - You whimpered as you took a long breath out, still feeling the slight sensation and vibrations between your legs as Fez cleaned the area around his mouth and plushy beard. But it was somehow strange, to smell yourself and taste yourself within his taste. He had a knowing smile on, feeling sure about making his girl feel good. But even though Fez temped himself with making you cum for the one last time.

You felt his fingers ghosting all over your body, and your eyes caught that it is around eleven p.m. But that didn't play a single role in what were you two doing at that moment.

All of a sudden you felt the sensation and slight pain when something has entered you. For you, it was like going through the first time for another round. Slowly, the first finger entered you; it was practically effortless because of how dripping and relaxed you. A moan came out of your body and your fingers circled around his wrist. Fez hovered above you, supporting his head with his palm and watched your face, showing him that you're in the state of bliss and nothing more.

"Hurts?" - He asked and tried to take his fingers out of you, but your palm stopped him. Instead, you were holding his palm in one place and started to slowly press yourself against his hand. You made it a few times before you let his hand go. That was so much sensation, that you hugged the sheets with your hands firmly - to move against something and to feel it move against you was pleasurable, no matter the pain when you started. Both of you knew about some spot inside of you, but you also knew that if you don't find it, you shouldn't make a big deal out of it.

His lips kissed you all over your neck and boobs as you found euphoria in which you wanted to get lost. You knew that it will end not so long from that moment, but if you could do it until the world end, you would. Only slowly you used one of your hands to get yourself off as he continued to finger you. 

“No. No. No. Stop it, baby.” - You whispered when you felt that everything was about to crumble down inside of your body. 

“Did I hurt you, babe?” - Fez asked quietly with fear in his tone and you caught his face to your palms. You hummed into his face when your hand slowly massaged his body with your fingers. He was all tensed up as you grabbed his junk firmly with your palm. 

“Come on, I want all of you. I mean all of you.” - The sound of your desire-filled voice resonated through his bedroom. Your small, gentle body tried to imprinted into his bigger one, your hand continued to hold his dick and you felt as it was getting harder and harder. 

“This ain't no good idea.” - Fez tried to oppose you, trying to get your hand away, but you were very persistent. You two continued with kissing you, his eyes closed and his fingers tried to make you occupied with something different. But before he was able to make you go away, you were straddling his lap. 

You were all naked, your hair was framing your face and your smile was the happiest one that Fez saw on you. Your smooth move made him sit up and you slowly helped him with undressing his sweater. You loved that boy no matter what - he maybe was not the athletic one around, his body had a lot of scars on it, but it was no matter for you. 

For the first time forever, you pressed your naked body onto his, feeling how warm he is. His skin was so smooth to you, it felt like a flame was consuming your whole body. Then you helped him with taking his pants down.

The kiss you had peppered your body with was as smooth as he were, or so you thought. You moved slowly, caressing every inch you could reach with the tips of your fingers, all you wanted was to be one person with him, you wished to just melt into his body, to feel his warmth and love. Slowly, you started to undress his jeans, kissing his pelvis, making small circles on that bone. 

You took everything out of his body, his boxers, his denim jeans, you were making him vulnerable. Fezco was unable to stop you at that moment. Fezco felt weak because of how good you were making him feel. 

And when you licked his shaft down for the first time, the weed made him do a big, happy smile. He loved to give good eating out sessions but even more, he loved to receive a blow job from someone. 

Even tho you were doing it for the first time, you were really good at it. Your mouth was taking a good portion of his dick down until the tip of his hock tickled the entrance to your throat. From the porn, you have watched through you knew that you should play with the second part of his junk to make it way more pleasurable for him. Your mouth was warm and wet so soft that it made him three times harder. 

After a while, you smiled at him, still smoothing his shaft slowly, kissing his upper thigh gently. His face was seriously looking happy, he was on cloud nine. Your nails drugged into his skin harshly. 

“Come here, lover boy.” - The tone of your voice was deep and full of lust. You were on your pills, so you were completely calm about everything. Or at least you hoped that everything will be fine in the end. The feeling of wanting got into you again - the first time, you wanted to be with him. Now, you wanted him to be inside of you.

When you two laid down and snuggled for a bit, you opened your eyes with sudden pain. He took you by surprise. Not that he did a full invasion into your pussy, but it... Somehow hurt when you felt how his dick stretched you.

Without waiting, you put your fingers on his neck, caressing within slow motions. You tried to be calm and of course, he had to feel it when he was almost three inches inside at that point. But you felt like a fucking velvet, hot and wet, being all tight around his dick.

Your lips felt his trying to kiss you, so your head naturally followed Fez as his tongue slipped on your lips, kissing you hungrily with his fingers tangled into your hair. You moaned into his mouth as the rest of him slipped inside, putting your fingers onto his breasts in a slight shock, your legs putting further so his whole ass could take a place between your legs.

As you heard from your friends, the first moves were the most unpleasing, hurting ones. When those were happening, you just firmly closed your eyes, hummed into his lips at high frequency with a wrinkle between your eyebrows.

Your body tried to capture that experience as a whole, the slapping sounds your skin made when his body collided with yours, how strangely warm and sweaty both your bodies were, how strangely soft his skin was yet how tight and firm his muscles were as he pounded into your body with rhythm. It was a sloppy one, a slow one full of desire. His ass was moving steadily and slowly, you started to relax, every muscle inside of you accepted the way he was moving inside of you. 

At that time, you felt that only moaning will not keep him in one place, so you started to talk shily. You parted your lips, taking his cheeks into your palms, making him look you in the eyes. 

“You're doing me so well, baby.” - A whimper came out of your lips between you tried to breathe normally. - “You can go harder. Just like that, just like that.” - You did not expect it to work, but it truly made him go faster and a bit rougher. That made you roll your eyes to the back of your head as your lips parted and another sound came out of your lips. 

“Y/N.” - Fez whispered and his back arched a bit, making him go even deeper and a bit harder. When all of your friends told you about their first time, they told you that it hurts like fuck. But you didn't seem to even notice, the more your legs went wider and wider, the more you felt how pleasurable it was and the wetter and flexible inside. 

You seriously didn't know how long it all have lasted, but somehow you felt how his pace became seriously sloppy. Fezco could feel his body burning, because of how good it all felt, he was on the top of the world. He would swear that he never had sex which was so good. No girl made him feel so good before you and your tight pussy. 

The sweaty drops were running all over his body, down his back to his chest, he lasted for a long, long time. It was more than fifteen minutes, which was a seriously good score. Nails were running down his back when your hard tilted backward with your eyes firmly closed. 

Fezco could feel how your fingers on your clit and his body was curling and tensing as you started to slowly orgasm. You left your second hand on the side of his face and just seconds before cumming all over his cock, your stares connected. And then, you screamed loudly as you began to shake a bit in a blissful state. You were mumbling his name again, again and again like a magical spell mixing it with oh my dear fucking lord.

He was done for in the next seconds. Fezco couldn't even breathe, he slowly collapsed onto your body as he kissed your neck down. Your body was all salty and wet from sweat. You just circled your hands around his back, gently kissing it on the top of his head, playing with his beard. His eyes were closed and he breathed loudly, but you could see a huge smile all over his face. 

“So what do you say?” - Your silent voice whispered. - “How was it like?”

“I have never so fuckin' good in my whole life.” - Fezco said back voicelessly. After that, you just covered yourself in blankets and he almost immediately fell asleep naked, hugging your body in a tight grip with his head on your naked boobs.

One last photo was added to your Instagram story that night. It showed Fezco laying all over your body like a huge, gentle bear, your naked upper thigh was peeking out of your intertwined bodies and your hand was holding his head on its place. 

And you felt safe and loved at that moment. 

[shinfinitexo-genius]

The Best Night of My Life

It has already been a month since the concert in Vancouver and I can not believe that a month has pasted since then! This past month has been such a whirlwind that I can not believe that I did not get the chance to actually sit down and write out my thoughts and what happened during the trip! So my flight was at 7 in the morning of the 6th so I had to get up at 4:30(?) which was definitely not fun since I was basically running on 2-3 hours of sleep. (Note to future self: do not listen to Dad and book a flight in the morning of a concert, fly in the day before so you can actually get a proper night of rest!) So I get ready and get my carry on and luggage and head to the airport with my dad. Let’s just say that I definitely overpacked for a 2 day 1 night trip but you can never too over-prepared as this was the first time I was traveling anywhere by myself. So my luggage was definitely a struggle to close but it worked out in the end! After going through security safely with no issues, I head to my gate and wait to board my flight. Flashforward an hour and after boarding my flight, we still didn’t take off since we had to wait for the airport staff to defrost the airplane wings since it had snowed the night before (typical Canadian weather). So finally after the wings were defrosted, we finally took off to Vancouver and I managed to get an hour or so of sleep. 

As we landed in Vancouver and waited to get off, I had checked my messages and I had gotten a reply from someone in a FB group I had joined for people who were travelling or going to to the concert by themselves to meet with other solo concert goers. I saw her post the night before flying out and she had replied back to me! It was so perfect as she was arriving in Vancouver around the same time I had landed. She had posted in the group that her friend wouldn’t be done school till later that afternoon and she would be spending the day alone and was looking for someone to spend it with! It worked out so perfectly! I messaged her back and told her I had arrived in Vancouver and would take the sky train to Downtown Vancouver since that’s where she would arrive at and that’s where my hotel was. So I finally get off the plane and head over to the train station, get my train pass and head off to Downtown Vancouver to meet up with Mira! I arrive to the Waterfront Station and then finally meet Mira! She is so pretty and cute ;-; We were a bit awkward at first which is pretty normal since we were literal strangers, but we decided to head to my hotel to see if I could check in or at least store my luggage. My hotel was about 5-10 minutes away from the train station by walking so Mira and I walked over to my hotel. After we arrived and spoke with the front desk, I wasn’t able to check in since it was pretty early in the morning and check in wasn’t till the after, but I was able to store my luggage. After all that, Mira and I decided to go grab some breakfast and we looked up restaurants we could go to on Google Maps that was near my hotel and we headed up going to a cute cafe that has brunch and lunch options and it was so busy! It’s apparently a pretty famous cafe and there is always a waiting line! Mira and I started to talk a little more about ourselves and then we started talking about our biases and I found out that she is a Shawol which was honestly the best thing ever and we clicked so fast! It felt like we were had been friends forever since we are both Shawols! 

After about an hour or two, we finally finished our breakfast and then I asked Mira if she would be okay to do some travelling to Burnaby to visit the cup sleeve event that was organized for Mark! She was totally up for it so we made our way to the train station and headed to Burnaby! We just talked the entire ride to Burnaby and it was so amazing to just talk about our love for SHINee and how we got into Kpop. Once we finally arrive Burnaby, we head to the cafe for the cup sleeve event and the sleeves were so cute! I was able to get two which was the best thing! LOL Before actually getting the sleeves, the cafe was in the same mall that a Kpop store was in as well that I had been planning on going to so Mira and I went to the store first and decided to come back to the cafe afterwards. Can I just say that I was only going to the store to get a shatting star pin, but came out with 3 albums (Dongwoo’s, Hoya’s and Taemin’s solo albums LOOOL), two posters, the shatting star pin and a EXO and SHINee lanyard. I definitely spent over my budget HAHHAHAHA Mira also got a shatting star pin! After we bought out stuff, we headed to a bench in the mall and I opened the albums to see what photocards I got and AHHH the amount of fangirling I went through HAHA! After finally calming down, we headed back to the cafe to get the cup sleeves. Once we finished at the cafe, we decided to head back to downtown so I could check into my hotel room and start getting ready for the concert since it was about time for the merch stand to open AHHHHH! It was crazy how close to the concert we were getting. It was raining all da, but the rain was getting annoyed so we decided to go to another mall and get some cheap umbrellas to use LOL After, we trained back to downtown and I was able to check in and go to my hotel room and settle in. It was nice to relax for a bit and I was able to change and get ready for the concert. Mira and I soon after headed to the concert venue so we could get some freebies and meet up with her friend, who is a fellow EXO-L! We arrived at the venue and walked to a nearby Starbucks where a fan was giving away fan support banners for Baekhyun and Kai and we finally met with Inge! After talking for a bit, we headed to the venue to get some more freebies and then we actually headed back to my hotel so we could leave our freebies and most of our stuff so we would not have to carry everything during the concert! After having a photoshoot with our lightsticks, we headed back to the venue for the concert AHHH!!! It’s actually kinda funny how Mira and I started randomly telling each other how many hours left till the concert like Mira randomly said “THREE HOURS LEFT TILL THE DOORS OPEN” and I just completely freaked out and I would do the same and we would just completely freak out! It was the funniest thing HAHA! I was so nervous heading to the venue and my heart wouldn’t stop beating cause this concert was something I was waiting for since October and I was ready to cry tbh just thinking about how I was about to see some of the boys that I have loved for almost 8 years and who were a part of my ultimate bias groups. We finally get to the venue and line up to get in and I was actually able to get me and the girls in the VIP Line to get into the venue since I was a Rogers customers HAHAH so fancy~~~ BUT OMG WE FINALLY GOT INTO THE VENUE AND I WAS FREAKING OUT F R E A K I N G  O U T AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mira and Inge had seats together and I had floor seats so I followed them to their section before heading to my seat AND OMG MY VIEW WAS SO AMAZING! And I was sitting next to two Japanese fans, a Shawol and EXO-L! They were both so sweet and the J-EXO-L gave me a candy ;~; I was so nervous waiting for the concert to start and I was trying to figure how I was gonna hold three lightsticks HAHAH I had my SHINee, EXO, and SuperM lightsticks and it was definitely a struggle carrying them in one hand and my phone in the other! BUT OMG THE CONCERT STARTED AND THE VCR STARTED AND THE AMOUNT I SCREAMED THAT NIGHT!!! HAHAHAA I definitely had a hoarse voice by the end of the night. But y’all, the boys are so much more beautiful in real life. Like. Their skin is so flawless and the boys are the sweetest ever! When the hyung line introduced themselves, you know that I SCREAMED MY HEAD OFF YELLING THEIR NAMES AND CHEERING FOR THEM!!!! I love them so much! The maknae line are the cutest and it was so amazing seeing my wayv and nct boys! They are such amazing performers!!!!!! Like O M G WHEN TAEMIN PERFORMED DANGER AND GOODBYE I SCREAMED I SCREAMED WHEN HE PUT HIS HAT ON! IT WAS SO AMAZING SEEING HIM PERFORM!!! I LOVE TAEMIN SO MUCH!! AND BAEKHYUN!!!! BETCHA AND UN VILLAGE!!!!!! LITERALLY ALBUM OF 2019!!!!! AND JONGIN!!!!!! CONFESSION GOT ME FEELING ALL SORTS OF THINGS AND JAIJDISDLKSDLSLD STILL PROCESSING THAT I SAW JONGIN ABS IN REAL LIFE! REAL. LIFE. AHHHH ALSO SEEING NO MANNERS!!! THAT TAEKAI WAS ONE OF THE HIGHLIGHTS OF THE NIGHT AHHHHHHH BUT WHAT’S EVEN BETTER IS WHEN TAEMIN AND I LOCKED EYES! O M G I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE IT HAPPENED CAUSE I LITERALLY FROZE WHEN I REALIZED TAEMIN AND I LOCKED EYES LIKE- 💀💀💀 It was during With You when they were throwing their signed frisbees and Taemin looked towards my section and we briefly locked eyes and let me tell that all the air in my lungs was gone in a split second. My world literally froze when I tried to process the fact we had mad eye contact. I definitely lived my best life that night. When the boys were saying their ending ments, I was literally holding my lightsticks to my chest and literally whispering to myself “Don’t go” over and over again and I was on the verge on crying. It still hurts when I think of that moment of when the boys said their farewells after performing Jopping. Once the concert finished, I had to sit down to process everything and the Japanese fans were concerned about me and checked to make sure I was okay! LOL they were honestly the sweetest and when they realized that it was my first time ever seeing Taemin and KaiBaek in person they understood why I was so star struck! But it’s crazy to think about this night sometimes cause it still doesn’t feel real. Met up with Mira and Inge after the concert and we couldn’t process everything that had happened. We went back to my hotel so they could get their stuff and Inge and I decided to go to Gastown to take pictures where Taemin and Key had taken pictures. After saying bye to Mira (and I was so sad that I had to say bye to her after spending the entire day with her 🥺. Mira, I hope we can meet soon!) Inge and I head to Gastown and have a mini photoshoot LOL and soon after I said goodbye to Inge and head back to my hotel and stayed in my bed just rewatching my concert videos and just crying my heart out LOOOOL. And that was the end of one of most amazing days in my life thus far 😭😭 Thank you SuperM for coming to Vancouver and helping me cross off something off my bucket list - seeing some of the boys that I have loved for so long. My heart swells when I think of my boys 🥺❤️ My cute maknae line, thank you for making this concert one of the most amazing concerts of my life Lee Taemin, Byun Baekhyun and Kim Jongin I love you three so much and I can’t wait for the day I can see you again with your brothers. I waited 8 years to see you, I can wait a little longer to see you as SHINee and Exo and I hope to see you again as SuperM!

[iicewitch]

☕ real boy

a playlist for @stevenrcgers​ link to playlist: here tracklist and favorite lyrics below

1. blood, sweat and tears - bts   Peaches and cream, sweeter than sweet Chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings But your wings are wings of the devil In front of your sweet is bitter bitter 2. brainchild - everything everything A good thing Now you think about it, don't you make it real? The bad thing, maybe it's a feeling I don't want to feel But love is all you need to know But love is all you need to know

3. dumb dumb - red velvet

Like a mannequin Everything is so awkward I should just act like I do normally But whenever I see you, I act so stupid Like my little brother’s robot Everything is so awkward What do I do? I think I’m broken I forgot even how to breathe 4. the zombie song - stephanie mabey And I'd try not to bite and infect you because I'd respect you too much And that's why I'd wait until we got married Oh, and our happiest days would be spent Picking off all your friends and they'd see A love this deep won't stay buried

5. real boy -  lola blanc Every time we touch your hands are colder, colder There's no beating coming from your wooden chest Frozen grin, a mannequin When I get closer I can see the strings there underneath your vest 6. who do you want to be ? - oingo boingo Who do you want to be today? Who do you want to be? I think I'll be a teddy boy, I think I'll be a hunk I think I'll be a tough guy and I think I'll be a punk I might just be a fashion star all dressed in frilly rags Or perhaps, I'll cross the other side and walk around in drag! 7. under my skin - jukebox the ghost I can fit two people under my skin Yeah, I can fit two people under my skin And I will prove it if you will listen You crawled up in there, you joined me within I can feel your heart beating under my skin And the beating of your heart is making me bleed from within 8. mr. capgras encounters a secondhand vanity: tulpamancer's prosopagnosia - will wood and the tapeworms Damn, I thought you’re not your imposter. You’re so sure you’re not gonna get caught! Dead in your own skin, but you didn’t choose what you were born in! And another man in your repertoire, ready in your head and fed upon your memoirs Still the same rules apply from the birthday to the mourning What you feel and what you do; are those things really you? And if not, then what is?  9. breaking out - the protomen If you can hear my voice outside these walls (If you can hear me) If you can hear me sending out this message tonight Then break the silence, send a signal back (If you can hear me) I'm coming, all I need is a little guiding light...

10. roaring 20s - panic at the disco Maybe I'm overjoyed, maybe I'm paranoid Designer me up in straight jackets My tell-tale heart's a hammer in my chest Cut me a silk-tied tourniquet This is my roaring, roaring 20's 11. evelyn evelyn - evelyn evelyn We grew up closer than most Closer than anything, closer than anything Shared our bed and wore the same clothes Talked about everything, spoke about so many things 12. looking glass - the birthday massacre A boyish notion of false emotion These words are spoken despite my love A fool's devotion was set in motion My eyes are open now

13. play dead - the birthday massacre Thinking hurts and thoughts don't rhyme To those of us who've never tried To find a face behind our lipstick smiles And as our pretty faces die Our broken hearts will wonder why The makeup just won't hide the scars of time 14. lets fall in love - mother mother There's a game in the world A little bit of cat and mouse With the boys and the girls And if I had to ante up I'd bet on the birds 'Cause they don't have to walk around With the boys and the girls 15. o my heart - mother mother And I pour my heart a new foundation But it don't set hard it just stays shaking And I scratch my name I scratch my name in But it don't set hard it gets mixed back in Oh my heart, it's a fish out of water  16. body - mother mother Take my teeth, tear through my cheeks And take the nose go and dispose Oh would you go dispose, just go dispose 'Cause I've grown tired of this body A cumbersome and heavy body 

17. touch up - mother mother I am a makeover queen A swan out of duckling Ugly duckling you're drowning In makeup (in makeup) My makeup (my makeup) Has washed off 18. roman holiday - nicki minaj Take your medication, Roman Take a short vacation, Roman, you'll be okay You need to know your station, Roman Some alterations on your clothes and your brain

19. replicant - they might be giants You've got his eyes Same exact smile All that he has All this will be yours  20. happy days - GHOST Oh, it’s painful My heart is quite a mouthful I’ll tear it out for you I’ll be the sacrifice for you Y’know, things could go exactly how you want it I’d be exactly how you want me Use what’s left of my soiled personality I’m all yours, I’ll do anything 21. girls on film - duran duran 'Cause the crowd all love pulling dolly by the hair By the hair And she wonders how she ever got here As she goes under again Girls on film (two minutes later) Girls on film Girls on film (got your picture) Girls on film  22. nobody - mitski And I know no one will save me I'm just asking for a kiss Give me one good movie kiss And I'll be alright Nobody, nobody, nobody 

23. TT - twice I feel like crying, I don’t feel like myself This isn’t like me at all I love you so much Think I’m all grown up now I’m free to make my own choices, but why Why can’t I have it my way The more I try to push you away The more I’m drawn and attracted to you baby 24. in every dream home a heartache - roxy music Your skin is like vinyl The perfect companion You float my new pool De luxe and delightful Inflatable doll My role is to serve you Disposable darling Can't throw you away now 25. the moss - cosmo sheldrake But have you heard the story of the rabbit in the moon? Or the cow that hopped the planets while straddling a spoon Or she, who leapt up mountains, while whistling up a tune And swapped her songs with swallows while riding on a broom 26. green - todrick hall Green! Is a way of life And the millions would kill to see their name up in the lights For the green is okay tonight But be careful what you wish Because you might get what you like 27. guy.exe - superfruit Oh I, wish I could synthesize a picture perfect guy Oh I, oh I Six feet tall and super strong, we'd always get along Alright, alright Oh, he'd pick me up at eight and not a minute late Cause I don't like to wait, no Kind and ain't afraid to cry or treat his momma right 28. the dismemberment song - blue da kid  Well once upon a time that's where the clock begins And right after the end Well, that's right where the plot thins And I've got no angel to keep me in line! So I'm taking your narrative and I'm making it mine! 29. me!me!me! - teddyloid I’ve worked hard for myself - What have you done for yourself? When you notice the scattered pieces of the mirror You’ll realize I wanted you to notice Is this still going on? Is this still happening? Even though I’d been waiting for you Even though I loved you 30. alone together - fall out boy My heart is like a stallion, they love it more when it's broken Do you wanna feel beautiful, do you wanna, yeah I'm outside the door, invite me in So we can go back and play pretend 31. get busy living or get busy dying - fall out boy This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters But we never stood a chance And I'm not sure if it matters If you are the shores, I am the waves begging for big moons I'm mailing letters to addresses in a ghost town  32. hi it’s me - ashnikko When I'm with you I have amnesia, I'm weaker than before My stupid brain thinks that I need you, I'm eager to hurt more My best friend thinks that I'm a dumbass My dumbass should be a little more cautious I slip up, I text you, I forget That you were so so disrespectful 33. i’m poppy - poppy Welcome to the new world, I'm your internet girl Open up and you'll see, everyone is happy I like your technology, can you put it on me? The future is so pretty, we're living in harmony 34. idola no circus - neru Come, let’s dance all night in our naked bodies We know, we know your true nature Again putting on a fake face, You’re just like a pierrot ! It’s time to put a mask, a mask On your unsociable faced 35. shine - casey lee williams But baby, it's time to make up your mind I think that tonight is when our stars align Honey, it's time to leave the doubt behind Take my hand 'cause you and I are gonna shine 36. one thing - casey lee williams I was nowhere, I had no one, I felt nothing Lost without a voice and on my own Then a candle's flame brought a brand new name But now you've stolen everything And I'm all alone 37. sweetest cure - hugo What the hell am I s'posed to be Choose a world over me Sitting pretty in my mess On the phone I can't confess Word's out somehow You're the sweetest cure I never got to tell you 38. bang bang bang bang - sohodolls Teacher says that I've been naughty I must learn to concentrate But the girls they pull my hair And with the boys I can't relate Daddy says I'm good for nothing Mama says that it's from him Manic sister thinks I'm cracking Brother says it's in my genes 39. helpless - phillipa soo One week later I'm writin' a letter nightly Now my life gets better Every letter that you write me I'm helpless! He's mine, that boy is mine! Look into your eyes And the sky's the limit, I'm Helpless! Helpless! Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em 40. lifeboat - laurence o’ keefe Everyone's pushing Everyone's fighting Storms are approaching There's nowhere to hide If I say the wrong thing Or I wear the wrong outfit They'll throw me right over the side 41. chase the morning - sarah brightman In you is a world of promise We have both been kept in bondage But you can learn from all my failures Let your life be your dream Integrity, honesty, its too late for me Don't look back till your free to chase the morning 42. no reason - leslie kritzer Everything, everything happens for a reason Be a beacon of light in the world Put a little "alright" in the world There are spiritual guides above Look up and see 'em Perception is reality Just listen to the melody the universe sings 'Cause everything, everything happens for a reason 43. i love play rehearsal - stephanie hsu I love play rehearsal 'Cause you are equiped with directions and text Life is easy in rehearsal You follow a script so you know what comes next Anywho, the point that I'm getting to Is sometimes life can't work out in the way It works out in the play 44. your song - elton john And you can tell everybody this is your song It may be quite simple but now that it's done I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful life is while you're in the world 45. the party goes with you - lindsay mendez And when we're dancing nose to nose Darling do you suppose, darling do you suppose This party could be just us two, and I your wife? Oh, oh, the gayest party, sad but true It's true The party goes with you The party goes with you 46. half jack - dresden dolls It's half biology and half corrective surgery gone wrong You'll notice something funny if you hang around here for too Long ago in some black hole before they had these pills to take it back I'm half Jill and half Jack 47. the secret - pierces Got a secret Can you keep it? Swear, this one you'll save Better lock it in your pocket Takin' this one to the grave If I show you, then I know you Won't tell what I said 'Cause two can keep a secret If one of them is dead 48.  connect - claris My heart awakes in order to depict the future Even if I come to a halt on a tough road The beautiful blue sky always waits for me Therefore I'm not afraid I won't be disheartened anymore no matter what happens 49. simple and clean - hikaru utada Hold me, whatever lies beyond this morning Is a little later on Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all Nothing's like before 50. mountains - message to bears  And we could run away Before the light of day You know we always could The mountains say, the mountains say And we could run away Before the light of day You know we always could The mountains say, the mountains say

[ask-the-friendly-ink-demon]

Important Message I Would like to get off my chest for a bit

I would like to say something to you all, throughout the years that i’ve had this blog, i thought it would never get this well liked, i thought i was just gonna be another one of those cringy 13 years old roleplayers that are always in character, but, well, it’s 2019 and here we are, and i would like to say,,,, thank you.... thank you everyone for being here with me, throughout all the hardships i’ve faced over the years, and with the bullshit i have to deal with at home, i still find someway to smile throughout it all. it’s because of you guys you guys are the reason why i keep going with this blog, why i keep moving forward in life and interacting more with others, it’s you guys who made prowler who he is today character wise pretty much, i enjoyed seeing you all interact with my characters, and most of all, even if i don’t get any more asks or starters, just seeing ya’ll like my stuff is more than enough to make me move forward for the rest of the day, you guys are like a second family to me, and i love you all to death, even if you all just like, fave and then leave a few seconds later that’s really all im glad for, that you all still notice my work and like it, even if i would be glad if i could get asks again, im not gonna be a little bitch and just, spam ask box is open, that was the old old old me, this is a new year and a new me, a few moments of ya’ll times as i would like to say to some of my most closest friends or famous people who’ve helped me in the past and still help me to this day even if they don’t know or feel it. @ask-coldarcherbendy- one of the first friends i actually made on here during my main blog, shade has been a good person and a good friend to me, and was the reason of how fast my blog grew in a short period of time, she’s the main reason why i created my own bendy blog in the first place so in a way she is my idol, and im proud to have you have you as a friend. @ask-soul-bendy- my second but amazing friend in the whole world, sheyd has been there by my side whenever i felt down, or depressed, or angry, he’s a great talker, and a great listener and was willing to stop everything he was doing just to talk with me about my problems sometimes, for that i thank him, he’s one of the greatest artists i know in my opinon, and a amazing friend to me <3 @ahrifoxtailgoddess- i would like to thank you ahri, for being a very good friend, and almost like a sister to me at times, you’ve been one of the best friends i’ve ever known for years on both DA, and on here, i’ve watched you grow and you’ve watched me grow, you have a job now and here i am, still here but at leash you can meet new people, for that im happy for you, i thank you for all the times you’ve and i’ve goofed around, for all the times that we would sat sit down and just laugh about random things that make no sense, and for giving me inspiration to draw more, if it wasnt for you i wouldn’t have found so much joy and happiness with drawing, so i hope that even if you may not find your work the best, i hope that you remember all the fun that we had together, love ya fam~ <3 @ask-modern-demonarchived- even though i know your no longer on tumblr, i still have hopes that you lurk around here from time to time, if you do, im glad that you could buy the time to view this, the mun here is just, really sweet, and very amazing, them being the first people i had my own precious boy, bendy meet, by then he was just called modern, you were a very huge inspiration on me, as due to how much your writing style inspired me to make my own writing style, throughout my years i’ve just, been improving, for that i thank you my friend, i hope that you are having a wonderful life, whereever you may be for now. @kkw424- though we barley talk now a days on tumblr, im quite glad that we got to knew eachother for a while and had fun goofing around in messages, and for having prowler meet one of the most cutest little demons that he’s ever seen, and in a way, i would have to thank you for your own way of drawing bendy gave me the moviation i wanted to start drawing my own bendy once again, i guess what im trying to say is that if it hadn’t been for you, i would have never started drawing my own boy again, and if i even did, i probbally would’nt have not put that much effort into it ^^; @licoriceblackaliceangel- even though we barley talk now a days, i honestly enjoyed all the times we’ve have with my bendy and your alice, despite of many possibly situations, we somehow still found ways to be friends despite of everything and for that, im glad to have you as a friend. @sammys-sanctuary- another amazing friend that i met who i’ve now consinder one of my other idols, out of all the three that i met before everyone else, sammy was one of the artists and story makers that i have found the most interesting and amazing, plus they were the reason of how i met the creator of spider!bendy! @ask-spider-bendy- speaking of the mun of spider, i would like to thank him, for being a amazing inspiration towards me, and for being a very wonderful person and artist, your art and posts always makes me laugh no matter the day or mood im having, somehow your posts just have, a unique vibe to them that just, makes people like me laugh like crazy. @metallicartist- another person whom i met during my first years of being on tumblr on this blog, they were the nicest i have ever met, and a amazing friend to this day, i owe it to her of being another inspiration to why i draw, because im hoping that one day, i can draw as good as her, maybe someday that’ll happen, someday. @inkwise, another person whom i met thanks to interactions with some of my other friends, i was scrolling around tumblr and just, happened to come across this blog, and by then i was trying to be more social and all so i figured why not and talk a bit with them, best choice i’ve ever made, because of the sweet mun that is known as avi (the god) they inspired me mentally to be the person i am today, even if i don’t show it sometimes, im glad that we are and still are friends. @inkgalaxys- another person whom i met during when i was coming back slowly from my long ass hitaus, i originally met them when they asked alpha (they told me it was meant for prowler but hh) a small little starter, which at the time i wasnt that hesitant to roleplay with other people like i am now, but i guess time changes, and like some years later i decided to have conversations with some people that i knew over the years on this blog and pastel just happened to be one of them, again, another best choice, i enjoyed seeing their blog, and their art style is just, adorable and amazing, as a fellow cartoonist artist myself i respect you, i still do! and im glad that we are still friends, despite with things that happened, somehow we forgave eachother and, moved on from it, your characters and little roleplays with mine are always fun to see and view whenever im lurking around on tumblr, and plus honestly your one of the most valid people that i would say that deserves more than me out there, so again thank you for being such a dear and an amazing friend towards me, i still hope that sometimes we can still have fun with our characters goofing around on tumblr and all that jazz, maybe someday it’ll go back to that. @one-eyed-twin- me most favorite BATIM Ask And RP AU blog of all time!~ when i was simply scrolling around tumblr i have no idea when i stumbled across this blog, i admired the art style of this and wanted to see if this blog was messageable, sadly not, but before then despite that i found the mun and they were really nice, and we became good friends! with them i was inspired to create a more, child like and kinship version of prowler that would later be his trademark mood for whenever he interacts with clyde, who is the most sweetest of demons and deserves better in his life, please go by their blog sometimes and give them love, they deserve it <3 @derpy-doodlees and @anawizachu585- two people who i consindered to be the bestest of friends that i had and talked with when i was only comfortable with talking with few people, i found them one day and just, had a chat, eventually we got to talking a lot more and discovered that we all had a few things in common, plus there also sisters too! and they are really nice and funny! two of the most funniest and kindest friends that i’ve ever had @halfusek- one the most famous people on tumblr, their strange but amazing art style made me honestly very happy every time i would see it, i would just, get a whole lot of wholesome vibes from them, plus, their joey is just, beautiful, along with their blog and content, they are one of the best people i would call an idol and possibly a friend in the near future. @a-rae-of-sunshine- one of the most recent bloggers i’ve met, who i already consindered to be famous, is very nice and very cool! i adore their HEA!au and it’s wholesome content, im glad that i had the chance to talk with ya and become slight friends!  @ask-eb-drago-bendy- another person whom i met during my slight hitaus from tumblr when i was just lurking around, i got a slight random ask from them, and being my curious self i decided to view their blog before anything, and i got to talking with them, and we became good friends, their art style actually inspired me to make detailed art more often than i would normally do, plus gave me the slight inspiration to make my sweet boy have a scary dragon like form~ @theswordandthependle- queenie is a god and a amazing friend, nothing else to say, there pretty funny too, made me laugh a few times too. @problematicprojectionist- another friend whom i met during my first few years slightly on this blog on tumblr during my long ass hitaus, their art style were amazing and their norman is, just a sweetheart, he and my henry got along very well ;W; and plus the mun, angel is a sweetheart and a amazing person. @mad-hatter-ison- another person whom i met when i came back during my long ass hitaus, they were funny, cool, and nice! and honestly that’s all i would want to see in a friend, being nice and having fun with eachother! they inspired me to actually be more social around people and talk more, even though i’ve been slightly not doing that,,, im trying ;u; @core4lost- another person whom i met along with sheyd, though at first we barley talked a lot, mainly on da and tumblr but later on we became quite good friends! and even though we’ve barley talk now, i still have high hopes in the near future, plus it was for them that prowler turned out to be such a cutie pie when meeting other toons like core’s adorable little demon child named corr~ @instrumentsofcyanide- stella is a amazing person and one of the most funniest bendy bloggers i have met in my life, their bendy named oreo had been the main cause of my more happy mood swings, their posts and shitposts are just the most beautiful and funniest i have ever seen, plus they are a good friend of mine that im glad to have met <3  @ask-the-crafty-demon-bleh- and lastly i would like to talk about one of the most other slightly famous people i know, they inspired me to change my bendy’s personality and behavior to make him more original, and made him stand out from others, i enjoyed seeing their content, and their adorable little bendy character named crafty, whom he and prowler became good friends just like with me and their mun, and honestly, with them and the mun of soul-bendy, they inspired me to make more friends, and be more strict, but also more polite and mature too, they were amazing role models, and amazing friends, and they still are some of my most amazing friends to this day. thats... really i all have to say ya’ll, i know this post is like, very long right now but im hoping that ya’ll would have the time to view it when you get a chance, and before you all ask, no this is not a post of me saying goodbye forever, then it would of been a lot more sad oof, i may go on a short hiatus sometime during spring, but im not gonna go on another long ass hiatus or leave tumblr completly, it’ll take more than my emotional life and stress to keep me from leaving the main scource of why im who i am today, so again to everyone, thank you all for supporting my blog, and to those who have been with me since the beginning, you all are valid and beauitful and deserve to be loved by everyone, that is all i have to say, imma gonna get off now but i hope you all took the time to read this post ;U;

[stopforamoment]

Portmanteau

My masterlist is at the end of my bio. Book: The Royal Romance (After Book Three) Pairing: Bastien Lykel x OC Rinda Parks Word Count: 462 Rating: G Author’s Note: Obligatory disclaimer that Pixelberry Studios owns the TRR characters and my pocketbook with those darn diamond scenes. Rinda with all of her quirks is all mine. My apologies if Tumblr or I do something stupid when I try to post this. The keep reading link shows up on my laptop but not my phone. Ugh.

Thank you @asherella-is-a-dork-3 and @bobasheebaby  for always being my sounding board! Thank you @silviasutton1989 ​ @riseandshinelittleblossom​ @tornbetween2loves @sirbeepsalot @innerpostmentality for still being a part of the journey! Drabble Summary: I wish I could come up with a cool couple’s name for Bastien and Rinda, but I can’t think of anything good. Rinda and Bastien can’t either.

Portmanteau

“Tiger? Our names don’t blend well.” Bastien looked at Rinda with complete confusion. “I mean, when celebrities’ names are combined. Like TomKat. Brangelina. Bennifer. Even Kimye.” Bastien slowly nodded, waiting to see where his Tria would take this. “So Rinda and Bastien. And don’t even bring ‘Lorinda’ into this mess.” Bastien jokingly held up his hands in self-defense. He wouldn’t dream of referring to Rinda by her given name. “Okay, I thought of Rintien. That reminds me of Rin-Tin-Tin.” Rinda anticipated Bastien’s question. “He’s a celebrity dog from World War I.” Bastien hummed. “What about Basrin?” “Sounds like aspirin. Although I can be a pain in your ass.” Bastien chucked. “But you’re MY pain in the ass Tria, and I love you for it. What about ‘Dabas’?” Rinda snorted. “You heard yourself say that, right? Dumbass.” Suddenly Rinda stood up. “Oh, no. Even better.” She began singing the Megan Trainor song as she bopped around: “It’s all about Da Bas. ‘Bout the da Bas. No treble.” “No. No more treble. Please.” Bastien grabbed Rinda’s hand and pulled her onto his lap, giving her a kiss to silence her before he threw out another idea. He gave a content sigh as Rinda began to place tender kisses along his jaw and run her fingers through his hair. “Mmm. Tria . . . there’s got to be something else. What about Brinda?” “Oh, Brinda sounds like ‘brinner.’ Breakfast and dinner. Eggs. Yum.” Bastien shook his head, playfully pushing her away from him. “No. No eggs and no breakfast. Especially since you call yourself an ‘egg slut’ because you’re so obsessed with omelettes. Absolutely not. Maybe Rastien?” Rinda scrunched her nose. “I’m not really feeling it. I guess our names don’t ship.” She sighed. “Too bad you weren’t dating Olivia. ‘Baslivia’ sounds really cool.” “Hmm. It actually does. You know, if Drake and Liam were together they could be Driam.” Rinda’s eyes widened. “They’d be a totally dreamy wet dream team!” Bastien laughed as he booped Rinda’s nose. “I don’t know if I should be worried you said that, but if Drake wasn’t like a son to me I could see that.” He looked into her eyes. “You know what this means, right?” Rinda tried to give Bastien a solemn look, but her eyes were luminous green. “We have to break up?” Bastien chuckled. “No. I have no intention of letting you go. You are absolutely stuck with me.” He held Rinda tighter and kissed her nose. “I was just going to say that you’ll have to stay my darling Tria.” Rinda laughed—she loved it when he kissed her nose. “Hmm. That sounds absolutely perfect, my sweetest Tiger.” She pulled him closer, her body quivering as her Tiger softly growled in his Tria’s ear.

[whiskynottea]

An interruption in the 1st law of thermodynamics.

Previously Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27

AO3

As always, thanks to @katnoenau for her beta ❤️

Chapter 28. Hogmanay

source

I was never the girl that dreamed of being a princess.

A pirate, maybe. An astronaut. An explorer. A healer. But not a princess. There were too many walls around those girls, too high, too rigid. I often wondered how they managed not to suffocate.

Walking down the stairs at Lallybroch was the first and only time I felt like one. Not the suffocating part – even though my breathing had become shallow and fast – but all the rest that accompanied the term. And it was all Jamie’s fault.

He was standing by the fireplace, listening to Lamb and Brian talk about politics (the word Brexit was the first that reached me when I left my room) and a broad grin was painted on his face the moment he saw me, making the blue of his eyes brighter and the red of his hair fiercer.

Oh God, he’s so beautiful.

And mine.

A matching grin was splitting my face in two when our eyes locked and I could feel every bit of my heart, yelling at me to move my stupid legs faster and get to him.

Jamie walked to the foot of the stairs and waited for me, his high cheekbones proud, his shoulders and arms stretching the fabric of the dark green shirt. It took me a moment to realize that he was wearing a kilt.

A bloody kilt. My Scot.

And he looked dashing. I’d never thought that a man in a kilt could be so attractive.

And I mean SO attractive.

When I finally descended the stairs (were they so many yesterday?) and stepped in front of him, Jamie surprised me by taking my hand in his and kissing my knuckles. The gesture was so chivalrous yet intimate that it took my breath away and for a moment I was transferred back, to that first day in the cafeteria when Jamie had bowed to me.

My knight in his plaided armor.

Time had stopped. The world forgot to keep rotating around itself, around the sun.

Jamie brought me close to him with a hand on the small of my back and whispering, his lips almost touching my earlobe, “Ye’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, Claire.”

My cheeks were blazing when I met his eyes again. Without replying, I raised up onto my tiptoes and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, leaving a mark of red lips behind. “I marked you.” I said, chuckling, and rubbed his bronze skin to remove the lipstick.

“Ye could leave it, ye ken. This way I’d have yer lips on me for the whole night.” He wiggled his eyebrows, teasing me, but his eyes were speaking a truth deeper than this.

“And what is this?” I asked, pointing at his kilt.

“Ye call me a Scot! Thought I should keep up wi’ my reputation!”

“You’re beautiful.” I said softly, reaching for his hand.

“They’re the Fraser colors. My mom…” Jamie swallowed, his eyes a bit more glassy than a moment before. “It was a gift from my mom.”

“I wear my mom’s earrings.” I admitted with a sorrowful smile and squeezed his hand. Jamie squeezed mine back, a silent conversation shared only with gazes and touches.

“Claire! You’re ready!” Lamb exclaimed, eventually noticing me from across the room. “I thought Jenny would never manage to wake you up!”

“There is nothing Jenny can’t force people to do, if she sets her mind on it.” Brian Fraser said and laughed, accompanied by Jamie who was nodding his head in agreement.

“I can hear ye da!” Jenny’s voice came from the kitchen, only to intensify their laughter.

“I think I’m going to Jenny, see if she needs any help.” I announced and started walking towards the kitchen. Jamie came behind me, mumbling that he was coming to his sister’s aid, too.

It took one of his wide strides to come next to me, and we walked into the corridor, with our arms brushing against each other. The moment we were out of the living room I found myself pinned against the wall, his breath hot on my skin.

“Not on the mouth! I’m wearing lipstick!” I whispered-shouted and saw puppy eyes looking back a me, a pout formed on his wide lips. “I’m serious!” I insisted, determined not to become a big smudge because of Jamie Fraser’s uncontrollable behavior. Jamie sighed, bending just a bit lower and taking the smooth skin of my neck in his teeth, sucking softly.

The effect was instant. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of his tongue on me, aware of the goosebumps that formed all along my body. It was a light bite that brought my mind back to its normal function and I pushed Jamie away, trying to catch my breath. He looked at me through incredulous, wide eyes and I realized that my reaction wasn’t self-explained. “You’ll give me a hickey!” I said, pointing at my neck, white and exposed.

“Ye’re giving me the hardest night of the year, Sassenach.” Jamie said, and took my hand, placing it where his belt buckle met his kilt, cocking an eyebrow.

Message delivered.

I knew this dress was good. The A line, the tight waist, and most of all the square neckline, boosting my boobs just so. “I promise I’ll make it up to you,” I whispered in his ear. “At some point.”

Jamie groaned, half frustrated, half hopeful and I took his hand, moving us both towards the kitchen and Jenny, who had been too silent herself.

--

The guests arrived on time.

The door opened to reveal the first arrival, the sweetest looking woman I’ve ever seen. Ian’s mom, Anne, entered the door with a motherly, warm smile and her hands full with a huge platter of haggis. She greeted everyone cheerily and walked straight to the kitchen, calling to Ian to not dally about but bring the ‘neeps and tatties’ along. A minute later she came out again, to kiss and hug each one of us.

She stopped in front of me, her light brown eyes crinkled in a smile.

“This is Claire Beauchamp,” I heard Jamie introducing me. “My girlfriend,” he added, and stood a bit straighter, his full height making us all look like dwarfs.

Anne Murray glanced at him, and I thought she wanted to ruffle his head as if he was five years old or so. With the smile never leaving her face she looked at me again, enveloping me in a huge hug. “Welcome, honey,” she said, and her voice ran right through my skin, finding my heart and nestling there, for she really meant it.

Ian’s father was less affectionate, but his genuine smile was proof that he shared his wife’s feelings.

So far so good.

The doorbell rang again five minutes later, and Murtagh entered the house followed by Mrs. Crook and her two thirteen-year-old twins, who seemed rather unhappy about being at this particular gathering. They had the face I had, when Lamb took me along to meetings at the university. Murtagh on the other hand, had one of the least grumpy faces I’d ever seen on him. Not that he was cheerful, but his eyes were a bit more slanted and his lips were tugged up just a tiny bit. I guessed that this was as jolly as Murtagh could go.

We were seated in the parlor when the MacNabs arrived. Bridget MacNab was thin and pompous. Her hair was coiffed in perfection, her makeup professional. She was so stiff that I wondered how she could be friends with Anne Murray. She came through the door carrying only her tiny bag, and I saw her husband behind her, his hands full of bags. Bridget kissed Jamie while praising him for his looks and gently pushed her daughter in front of her, so she could greet him too.

Mary MacNab was the exact opposite of her mother. Shy and quiet, she moved reluctantly towards Jamie who hugged her, leaving her even more blushed than she already was. I didn’t take my eyes away from the two of them, observing how he moved around her, trying to find something to lash out at him for. Anything that would reveal the slightest hint of attraction.

I found nothing.

Victorious, I stayed fixed in my place next to Lamb, waiting for the next round of introductions. The MacNab family of four, was split in two halves, I noticed. Mary and her father, Michael, always moved timidly behind Bridget and her son, who had breathed almost all the air out of the room in a few minutes.

Lamb got up from his chair and ceremoniously introduced himself and me. “I’m Lambert Beauchamp and this is my niece, Claire,” he said. “The Frasers were gracious enough to have us here at Lallybroch for Hogmanay this year.”

“It’s our pleasure, Lamb.” Jamie’s dad raised a glass of whisky to uncle Lamb, who followed suit.

I saw Jamie struggling to fit in the conversation, and I was sure he wanted to somehow add that we were there because I was his girlfriend.

“It’s lovely to meet you, dear.” Bridget MacNab said to me with half a smile and moved to talk to Anne.

“Hi, Claire, is it?” He was tall and dark and he was standing close in front of me. Too close, if you’d ask me.

“Yes, Claire. And you are…”

“Benjamin. But you can call me Ben.” He said that as if it was a huge honor for me. His eyes didn’t leave mine and his stare was too intense for my liking.

“Nice to meet you, Ben.” I said and turned towards his sister who was standing next to him, studying me. “And you’re Mary?” I said with a smile. A real one, now that I had assessed the threat.

“Aye,” she smiled. “Nice to meet ye, Claire.”

“So, Claire,” Ben spoke again somehow disturbed that the spotlight wasn’t on him. “How come you and your uncle are spending Hogmanay here?”

“Claire is my girlfriend.”

I didn’t know when he’d come, but Jamie was now standing next to me, looking down at Ben from the few inches he had in advantage. His voice was cold somber, and I felt his fingers reaching for mine.

Claiming your territory, Fraser?

I smiled at his reaction and interlaced my fingers with his long ones, seeing Benjamin - Ben  - looking nervously at us. Mary just bit her lip, lowering her stare for a moment, only to bring it up to us once more and smile.

She was a kind person and I felt sorry for her crushed feelings, but instinctively I scooted closer to Jamie.

Claiming your territory, Beauchamp?

--

The night wore on with laughter and stories, delicious food, and a lot of Fraser whisky for the adults. We, the kiddos as they once called us, had access only to the beer. Not that we complained.

I was eating my sixth shortbread cookie when Brain Fraser checked his watch and stood up announcing that the New Year would be here in less than a minute. All conversations stopped, and I swallowed the cookie a bit too fast, feeling its crumbles graze my throat. Just before I started coughing, Jamie materialized a glass of water out of thin air and passed it to me, smiling at my surprised face. With a shrug he handed me the glass and I had just swallowed a big gulp of water when the pendulum clock on the parlor’s wall stroke twelve and everybody started singing.

“Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,

an nivir brocht ti mynd?

Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,

an ald lang syn?”

I looked at Lamb who looked back at me with a delightful smile, and we joined the Scots with our outlandish English accents.

“For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.”

Jamie took my hand in his and turned his head to face me. We looked at each other, transfixed, as we mouthed the same words in different accents, distinct but together, mingling to create a new mold that held us both, united.

“And surely you'll buy your pint cup!

and surely I'll buy mine!

And we'll take a cup o' kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.”

The song went on and I felt my heart swell and my eyes tear up. That was it. That was what holidays were supposed to be. Celebrating with the people you belong with.  

“An thers a han, my trustee feer!” Jamie pressed my finger between his.

“And give me a hand o' thine!” I grinned, risking the letting of a tear or two run down my cheeks, and pressed him back.

“And we'll take a right good-will draught,

for auld lang syne.”

The song ended and all I wanted was to kiss him. To start the year with his lips on mine, having him as close as possible.

And that was exactly what I did.

It wasn’t the passionate kiss I ached for, but it was the best we could have under the circumstances. Soft, tender and full of love.

“Happy New Year, Sassenach.” Jamie whispered with a smile.

“Happy New Year, Jamie.” I said, lost in the blue of his eyes and I felt him pulling me closer to him.

I left Jamie’s hug reluctantly, to exchange good wishes with uncle Lamb and everyone else.

A loud knock on the door hushed us all and Brian walked cheerily towards the door, with everyone else behind.

Jamie, seeing my questioning glance, started to explain as we walked towards the corridor. “Tis the first footing, Sassenach. A tall, dark-haired man comes to the house bringing gifts and good wishes for the new year.”

“Tall and dark-haired?” I asked looking at the men around me.

“Ian’s da.” Jamie winked at me. “It’s consider bad luck if the man is red-headed, ken.”

“Not for me.” I said with a cheeky smile and marveled in seeing the color on his cheeks intensify.

John Murray was tall – but shorter than Brian and Jamie – with black hair and dark brown eyes. He gave various little gifts for the house’s prosperity to Jamie’s dad, who gave him back a tumbler of whisky. We all raised our glasses then, and a succession of loud and joyful ‘Slaínte!’ filled the hallway.

I’d turned on my heels to go back to the parlor when Jamie stopped me, keeping me where we were standing.

“What?” I asked with a frown, and he put his index finger between my eyebrows, easing the crinkle that formed there.

“Another tradition,” he said, shrugging with an innocent face. “This one is like a game. Ye’ll see.” He winked at me and walked out of the house.

In less than a minute all men had gathered outside the manor, while all women remained inside. Jenny came to my side, quickly explaining what we were supposed to do. “Each single woman spins about in the house, then closes her eyes and walks through the door. She then spins again and opens her eyes. The man she sees first is the one she’ll marry.”

I couldn’t fathom how the down-to-earth realist Jenny Fraser believed in that stuff, and I looked at her with raised eyebrows before commenting on the game. Jenny laughed, adding, “It’s to see what the New Year might bring! Come on! Tis fun!”

She went first, standing in front of the door and she span about, her dark blue dress billowing around her knees. Closing her eyes, she walked out with a broad smile – and Anne’s help - spun once more and opened them again, only to see Peter Crook looking at her scared.

“Sorry mate!” Ian apologized, walking with fast strides towards Jenny. “The lass is taken.” He kissed her on the cheek, bringing a content smile to her face, and making the rest of us laugh.

I couldn’t tell if Peter Crooked was relieved or offended.

“Come on, Claire!” Jenny shouted from Ian’s hug and I took a deep breath, excited and terrified all at once.

Two warm hands landed on my shoulders and I heard Anne’s low voice prompting me to go forwards. “Dinna fash, lass,” she said. “Tis just a game.”

It’s just a game.

As I walked close to the door, I peeked outside and saw that Jamie was on the left side, looking at me with a smile, his fingers moving restless on his thigh. Next to him was Ben MacNab and my last thought before I started spinning was that I needed to avoid him like the plague.

Left. Stop when you’ll be facing at the left.

I spun inside the house, crossed the door and spun once again.

Shit. There goes my orientation.

I took a moment before opening my eyes.

Left. Face towards the left side.

I knew that it didn’t mean anything if I didn’t see him, but for a weird reason I needed to open my eyes and find him looking at me, with that soft smile that made me weak in the knees.

Please, let it be Jamie, let it be Jamie.

I opened my eyes slowly, afraid of whom I’d see, but there he was. Tall, with his broad shoulders and the Fraser colors, looking back at me. He didn’t have the soft smile I expected, though. He had his mischievous lopsided one, that quickly disappeared when our eyes locked and he looked at me seriously, as if the moment was too important to make fun of it.

And then I saw it. Ben was no more on Jamie’s right side, but on the left. The little scam had switched places with him so that I’d see him first!

And that was the best omen the New Year could bring. We’d do everything to be together, no matter what.

In that year which would bring so many changes to our lives, we’d always find a way to each other.

Chapter 29

[uneven-odds]

“the three songs” ask set

The lovely @promisedmistake asked me to do this, thx darling <3 1. three songs that come up when you put your phone on shuffle -Younger by Seinabo Sey, Lie down by James Arthur and Deathbeds by Bring me the Horizon 2. three last songs you listened to - You´re somebody else by Flora cash, Lovely by Billie Eilish&Khalid and From the grave by James Arthur 3. three songs you were recently obsessed with - Lovely by Billie Eilish&Khalid, When we were kids by Walking on Cars and Sorry by Seinabo Sey 4. three songs that you know thanks to your parents - Losing my Religion by REM, Nothing else matters by Metallica and Weiß´ der Geier by Wolfgang Petry (still love this song haha)  5. three songs you wish you could forget (because listening to them hurts) - The scientist by Coldplay, Leave out all the rest by Linkin Park and Say something by Chester See

6. three songs you wish you could erase from history (because they’re terrible) -     Every apored song       7. three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved - bad guy by Billie Eilish, 11 minutes by Yungblood&Halsey and Run boy run by Woodkid 8. three songs that remind you most of summer and vacation - This summer´s gonna hurt like a motherf***** by Maroon 5, Sun comes up by Rudimental&James Arthur and Cake by the ocean by DNCE 9. three songs that get you in the Christmas Mood - Last Christmas by Wham!, Someday at Christmas by Jackson 5 and I´m dreaming of a white christmas by Bing Crosby 10. three favourite Halloween/spooky songs -  bury a friend by billie eilish, The kill (bury me) by 30 seconds to mars and happy together by filter 11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack - Wings by Bleachers, Fete de trop by Eddy de Pretto and I love you by RIOPY. 12. three favourite songs from video games - don´t have any 13. three songs you want at your funeral - Nothing else matters by Metallica,  Trauerfeier Lied by Alligatoah and  Pieces of you by Walking on Cars 14. three songs you want at your wedding - Last dance by Scratch Massive, Toi et moi by Paradis and say you won´t let go by James Arthur 15. three songs you want to dance with your love to - Locked out of heaven by Bruno Mars, You´ve got the love by Florence+the machine and There´s nothing holding me back by Shawn mendes 16. three favourite songs for sex - I don´t like music during sex 17. three songs that remind you of your crush -Well I don´t have a crush atm sooo I don´t have songs for this number 18. three songs that remind you of your best friend - A thousand miles by Vanessa Carlton, every Song by Alligatoah and Bad Romance by Lady Gaga 19. three songs that are your guilty pleasure - Sweetest Poison by Nu Pagadi, Achy breaky heart by Billy ray cyrus and every Us5 Song 20. three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one - Well I will just choose the same as @promisedmistake haha love you <3 because I love all this insider songs sooo,  u-bahn ficker by eko fresh ft. joko & klaas, #wirhaminternet by marti fischer,  du darfst Joko nicht anfassen by Mc Joko&K.I.Z. and Recovery by James Arthur  21. three songs of your childhood -Blue (da ba dee) by Eiffel 65, The bad touch by Bloodhound gang (damn I loved that song so much haha) and All around the world by ATC  22. three songs you listen to when you’re sad - Recovery by James Arthur (well I listen mostly to James Arthur), Speeding cars by Walking on Cars and Lovely by Billie Eilish&Khalid 23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up - Everybody by Backstreet boys, Prisoner by James Arthur and Fenster by Kraftklub 24. three favourite old songs - I want to break free by Queen, They don´t care about us by Michael Jackson and Losing my religion by REM  25. three favourite songs of 2017 -Too good at goodbyes by Sam Smith, Sign of the times by Harry Styles and Green light by Lorde 26. three favourite non-English songs - Songs für Liam by Kraftklub, Kein Problem mit Alkohol by Alligatoah and Kontrolle/Schlaf by Casper 27. three songs that you sing while drunk -I want it that way by Backstreet boys, Don´t stop me now by Queen and every Britney spears song 28. three best songs to get drunk or high to - High for this by The Weekend, Kill our way to heaven by Michl and bury a friend by Billie Eilish 29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives) -Recovery by James Arthur,  Speeding cars by Walking on cars and Perfekt by Casper 30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above) - Somebody you loved by Lewis Capaldi, When we were kids by Walking on cars (just walking on cars in general I just love this band and their songs so much) and Lost without you by Freya Ridings

[dianora77]

When you get this, answer with 5 things that make you happy, then send it to the last 10 people in your recent activity :)

1. My dog Cvita. She's more my parents' dog than mine, to be precise, but we all half-jokingly refer to her as my daughter. (Cause that's what I said to my Dad when I first brought her on the island and handed her to him, I said, that's the only grandchild I'll ever give you. Har Har) Anyway, Cvita is a 4-year-old samoyed and the sweetest, softest, cuddliest, politest girl in the world. Just thinking about her makes my chest contract painfully cause I can't be with her more, even though I try to visit my parents as often as I can, and when I'm there, I take her on long, lovely hikes. My baby...

2. My niece Anja. She's my younger brother's first (and so far only) child, and she'll turn one at the end of January (she's an Aquarius). She looks like a cloned mix of my brother and I, but she's 10 x prettier than both of us. Not that she's family, but she is one of the prettiest babies I've ever seen, with the largest brown eyes ever. She can still only say da-da but she babbles constantly. My favourite thing is to listen to her noises, squeals and laughter over the phone while trying to have a conversation with my mum. Oh, and she has this thing where she occasionally says "Oh!" in a posh British accent. I've no idea where she got it from, but being an Anglophile, I find it hilarious.

3. Hiking. It's my go-to recreational activity. I love the solitude and quiet of an alpine forest, but my favourite thing is walking along those narrow trails that follow the crest of grassy hilltops. Maaaan...

4. Roadtrips. I love driving, it relaxes me. I also love listening to music while driving, and singing along at the top of my lungs.

5. Movies. I once thought I'd have a career in making them, but it wasn't meant to be. Still, cinema remains one of the great loves of my life.

[djblendsky]

✘ BLENDSKYS Festival Radioshow #16 ✘

*Note*

Not a bored regular radioshow! Fast transitions!

30 minutes / 1 Hour the best Edm tracks all over the world!

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➥ BLENDSKYS Festival Radioshow playlist on Mixcloud: bit.ly/3uPJ0zf

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🔊Tracklist:

1. Andrew Rayel feat. Sam Gray - Wild Feelings

2. Nils Van Zandt X BACKFLASH Ft. Basti Woods - Gone (Take On Me)

3. Megan Thee Stallion & Dua Lipa & David Guetta - Sweetest Pie (David Guetta Dance Remix Extended)

4. Endless Summer, Sam Feldt, Jonas Blue, Sam Derosa - Till The End

5. Dubdogz x Selva - Are You Down

6. R3hab - My Pony (Kryder Extended Remix)

7. Nikk & AVIIZ - Won't Leave Tonight

8. Manse x Jac & Harri - Nobody

9. Nick Havsen & Mike Miami - Harmonia

10. Krevix & Miami Boys - Just One Touch

11. KURA - Bananza

12. Öwnboss, Sevek - Move Your Body (Saint Punk Extended Remix)

13. Mr. Sid & Serdar Bingol - Electric

14. We Do Voodoo, Amfree, Dj Shog - Braveheart

15. Winning Team - Party

16. Sputniq & Retrika - Break Down

17. Steff Da Campo - Hot in Here (Öwnboss Extended Remix)

18. Gabry Ponte, Djs From Mars - Killing Me Softly

19. Nick Havsen & David White - Ocean

20. Martin Jensen x Fastboy - One Day

21. Bastille, Alok - Run Into Trouble (Jonas Blue Extended Mix)

22. Stan Kayh & Oskana - Elephants

23. Milky Bass - Transcendence

24. Yellow Pvnk - Rythm of the Night

25. NWYR x Wiwek - Cocoon

26. Pete Tong & Becky Hill - You Got The Love (Tiësto Remix)

27. Alesso & Zara Larsson - Words

28. Alle Farben & Keanu Silva - Music Sounds Better With You

29. Vion Konger, Ken & Rebetz - Never Gonna Stop

30. Faithless - We Come 2022 (NoizBasses Remix)

31. Tiësto & Deorro - Savage