#we dont tame or hand feed

[insipid-drivel]

Something's been decimating my supplies of peanuts, seeds, and cracked corn for my squirrel feeder, and it's kind of been driving me crazy. I've been spending the better part of a week trying to figure out what's been visiting my garden feeders exclusively when I'm sleeping.

I put up a motion activated camera, expecting rats and raccoons as possible culprits. This is a swamp, after all, and varmints gotta eat too, but the sheer quantities of animal feed I'm having to refill almost every morning has been getting expensive. I have to figure out what (or who? Ew) is behind this.

It's been almost a week of nothing on my cameras but industrious spiders and moths, saving for a stray cat (who's getting a feral cat house and food+water now I know about him), and a single visit from such a fat raccoon I honestly thought it was a bear cub that only visited once. It could've easily been my midnight snacker, but it never revisited (rude).

I am officially Confused. Rats, or just that one chonk of a raccoon, would've explained the disappearing feed, but none appeared, even as my feeders still wind up empty by the time I get up in the morning to check them. Even ants would've explained it for me enough to drop the subject, but the only ants we have out here aren't active at night.

Bigfoot? Maybe. I live in Bigfoot country, and met my fair share of swamp devils offering me slammin' Blues skills in exchange for my soul. Weird things happen out here every day, but this is officially bothering me. This is going on outside my bedroom window, so it's starting to get... unsettling.

So I stayed up. My cameras are set to stop motion capture after sunrise to avoid eating memory, so the Feeder Cryptid must be showing up after the cameras power down, but before I wake up after sunrise.

So it became time: Time to get my weird, weird cat, and use her as my eyes and ears. Nobody bats an eye at a cat chilling in a window sill.

Yes, I have a dog, but she doesn't bark or growl unless she's upset or playing.

My cat growls at mailmen.

(Nimue, the delivery-hater - she's not fat, just a Maine Coon)

So I park her in my bedroom overnight.

Just as the sun crested the horizon this morning, at about 5am, I heard Nimue's growling and sat up with my phone's camera ready, eager for Bigfoot or maybe my neighbor's weird nephew.

But no

goddamned teenagers. I'm going back to bed.

[loversj0y]

'tis the damn season

chapter one - we could call it even

its your first day back home from winter break, and the overwhelming extent of the holidays leads to some interesting rekindlings

'tis the damn season masterlist

pairing: cc!wilbur soot x gn!reader

fluff and angst (quite a lot of angst in fact)

trigger warnings: reader's mother is abusive (not physically) and father is emotionally absent. this will be talked about in extensive detail. alcohol, some suggestive themes, and a lot of anxiety.

author's note: WELCOME! to the very first installment of a multichaptered fic inspired by taylor swift's tis the damn season! this work has been in progress for about. 4 months now so !! yipee!!! hope u enjoy (chapter two should be out sometime within the next week; i wont make the wait too long between chapters) dont like tumblr formatting? ao3 version is available here!

word count: 6.3k

If you had to be honest, you despised the holidays. It was always stressful, no matter how prepared you tried to be. But regardless, being in your final year of Uni, it was pretty nice to get a final winter break before graduation. The idea of staying with your parents wasn’t ideal. They’d spent years neglecting you and taking a toll on you emotionally, but in the time you’d been gone, it had seemed like things had improved. You agreed to go home for the holidays under this idea, hoping to have a nice break from everything, despite the heavy feeling in your chest that came from being in your hometown – that you’d proudly left behind – and the general dread of the holidays.

Wilbur wasn’t exactly the opposite. While he didn’t mind the holidays themselves, he hated the social conventions of it all. Particularly the insistence that you must be with family or else the holiday isn’t worth anything. However, Wilbur seemed to luck out this year. His mother and stepfather happened to book a cruise for the holidays, and all they wanted from him was to watch the house while they were gone. It gave him both the convention of helping out family without dealing with the mental decline that he gets from actually being around them, mostly his stepfather. So, he’d spend a month in his old bedroom, in the town he dreaded because the number of good memories he’d had all involved one person that left not long before he did.

When you’d finally arrived, it wasn’t long before your parents were hugging you and peppering kisses on your face, talking about how much they’d missed you, and asking if you were eating alright. It was loving, and you did appreciate it, but you felt uneasy. As your mother hugged you, it felt unfulfilling as you looked around the room, each familiar surrounding bringing up memories of your mother’s yelling. You’d settled down fairly easily, which tended to be a perk of returning to your childhood bedroom. After changing into something much more comfortable, you’d returned to where it seemed your family members had accumulated.

“Y/n, darling, my goodness, you’ve grown so much since I’ve last seen you! What are they feeding you out there in London?” It was your aunt who spoke to you. She was tame enough, save for when she got her hands on enough cosmopolitans to feel the need to share everyone’s gossip. 

“It’s nice to see you too. And I cook for myself, in case you were wondering.” You deadpanned. Honestly, you just didn't feel like humoring her advances to pull information out of you. You’d fallen for them as a kid, but now, even with little to hide, you couldn’t quite trust her. 

“Of course, you are, my genius. How’s the dating scene been?” 

You rolled your eyes at the nickname, brushing it off, “Boring as ever.” 

She hummed, taking a sip of her drink.  Ah, looks like she may already be ready to gossip, you thought, noticing the soft flush on her cheeks consistent with her drunkness. Your suspicions were confirmed when she continued, “You know, your mum told me she saw that old fling of yours at the shops the other day. What was his name?” She hummed for a moment, “Wilbur! That’s what it is.” 

Your chest turned to stone in a matter of seconds, and you forced out a response, “Oh, cool.” 

It was not “oh, cool” however, it was very much not cool. You and Wilbur had been friends since the third form, and while you weren’t incredibly close at first, you became much closer as time went on and as social circles grew smaller and smaller.  It came to the point where you two were inseparable, the best friend you’d had even until now. Your “fling” couldn't even really be classified as such. Despite how much you loved Wilbur Soot, you and him just never seemed to break that barrier, save for one weekend in your final year of A-levels. You’d planned to go to prom together, neither of you being romantically involved with anyone else, but you never actually made it to prom. You both went and sat in a field outside the back of the school, sharing a bottle of vodka he’d lifted from his stepdad’s stash. It was then that he’d opened up to you about how embarrassed he felt to be leaving school without having ever kissed a girl before. The mixture of his vodka and your love for him ultimately amounted to a few sloppy kisses, a moment’s worth of making out, before the two of you both had to run from a counselor who was looking for any delinquent students. Neither of you ever addressed it again. 

The years you two had known each other eventually culminated in the same relationship that you had with most people these days: you leaving him and losing contact. You didn’t mean to leave him behind, but between a full scholarship in London and his insistence on how shitty London is, you had to leave. 

You thought about him frequently. There were numerous nights where you’d open up his contact and attempt to draft a message, but it always ended in watching the cursor blink as you struggled to find the words. Honestly, you never thought you’d see him again. You knew nothing about him anymore, what he was like, what he was doing. It was impossible to decide if you dreaded seeing him or would go out of your way to attempt to see him. 

After catching up with your family for a bit longer, you decided to step out. Honestly, you didn’t know where you were going. It was late, almost midnight, and you just needed the fresh air. After walking into town, you found the one thing that would realistically be open this time of night: the pub. It was mostly empty, save for a few older folks sitting in some booths around the wall. You recognized the bartender, he was a few years above you back in school, but he always made an effort to be kind to everyone. He grinned at you once you sat at the bar. 

“Well, if it isn’t Y/N L/N. Shit, I would’ve thought you died," he chuckled, "You visiting for the holidays?” 

“Yep. And trust me, I’d quite rather be dead than be around my whole family all day.” 

He laughed, “Let me guess, a martini for the sophisticated Londoner?” 

You laughed back, “God, no, I haven’t exactly been converted over yet. Just a pint.”

“Still the same as before?” 

“Mmhm,” you nodded out, sighing softly. Being here felt a lot less tense than being at home. At least here you didn’t have to deal with the hushed fights and curses whispered between spouses. 

Wilbur had been incredibly excited by the idea of being alone when he first arrived at his old house a week before. It wasn’t long before it got old. 

“Alright, chat, who should we raid?” 

His chat moved rapidly in response to his words. He’d been playing Minecraft with Tommy, not unlike usual, but he’d been live for an hour and a half, which was a long time to hold up a persona for. Once he’d ended, he stayed on call with Tommy through Discord. 

“I dunno, man. I like being alone, like having the place to myself, but I’ve never felt so lonely,” Wilbur paused, “This place is way bigger than I remember.”

“So go somewhere,” Tommy offered.

Wilbur groaned, “You do understand that there is nothing to do here. It’s part of the reason I settled on Brighton.”

“Oh, c’mon, there’s gotta be something there for you to do. Don’t you have at least, like, a park or a pub maybe? You could go meet women!” 

“Tommy, I know every woman in this town, nobody has moved here or left here since I left,” he sighed, “we do have a pub though. Honestly, that’s not a bad idea. I could go for a drink.” 

“See! Just gotta think outside the box. Have a little optimism, man. Maybe you’ll see that person you knew in school.” 

“Tommy, don’t.” Wilbur genuinely considered leaving the call, his heart sinking at the mention of his old friend, “They haven’t been back since they left, alright?” 

“Yeah, but you never know! Have you thought about what you’d say to them if you did see them?” 

“No,” he groaned, “I don’t know why I’m humoring this, but if I saw them, I’d probably be nice. As much as it hurts, I miss them, and it’s not like I reached out much either, so.” 

Tommy hummed, “Wilbur the Wise, you are. At least maybe if you do see them, you’ll be much less bored.” 

“Yeah, I suppose,” Wilbur sighed, pulling an old beanie on. “Alright, I’m going to head out, talk to you later, man.” 

“Have fun!” 

Wilbur hung up the call after a moment, sighing a bit as he stretched. While he didn’t actually want to go to the pub, it was a better idea than staying in another night. Plus, at least he could get to walk his old path and try and see some of the cats he always used to stop for. 

His walk did end up taking quite a while. He only spotted two cats on the way, but he’d given them as much attention and love as they’d allow. But that wasn’t really what took up so much of his time. He kept going back to what Tommy had asked. Honestly, he did not even consider he’d see you here. For a long time  after you’d left for school, he thought that one day he’d see you walking to the shops and he’d go up to you, and just by saying hello, everything would feel like it used to. After a while, he’d lost hope that he’d ever see you again. He’d tried to find you online, some scrap to see how you had been and to see if you were okay, but he knew he couldn’t exactly just follow you without the risk of questions. He cursed himself for a long while over his pettiness in never reaching out. He thought about that prom night often. Part of him couldn’t make peace with the idea that his best friend, someone who he’d fallen in love with the second they’d spoken to him, was now just a stranger to him. It didn’t make sense to him, but  what made even less sense was when Wilbur opened the door to the pub to find you sitting alone at the bar. 

Wilbur’s breathing went full stop when he saw you. He couldn’t feel his fingers, but whether that was from the cold or the shock he felt seeing you, he couldn’t tell. Once he could feel his body again, he felt his heart pounding in his chest. He’d have to make a choice right now, and he’d have to make one he wouldn’t eventually regret, but-

“Wilbur! Mate, close the door, would you, you’re lettin' in a draft!” 

You felt frozen in your seat when you heard the bartender– whose name, you were kindly reminded, was Liam– yell to Wilbur. You didn’t know if you wanted to look up at him or look anywhere but him. Eventually, curiosity got the best of you, and you looked up directly into his eyes as he stood in the doorway. He seemed to come back to life after a second, turning to walk towards the bar. 

“Uh, right, sorry, man. Could I get a pint?” 

He sat across the corner of the bar, close but still seemingly holding you at a distance. 

After Liam walked away, he turned back to you, and for a moment, you both stared, trying to find words. He’d grown quite fit since the last time you’d seen him. He was still  tall, but not quite as lanky. His shoulders have filled out nicely.  

You decided to start, stuttering a bit as you began, “Hi, Wilbur.”

He seemed to think for a moment before the look faded from his face and something kinder replaced it, “Hi.” 

“How- um,” you contemplated even asking, but you’d rather ask than be sitting here in awkward silence with the boy you’ve loved for years, “How have you been?” 

“I’ve been…” He took in a breath, a moment to compose himself, before responding, “I’ve been good, actually. How about you?” 

You considered lying. “I’m okay, could be better but…”

“But?” 

“Well, I’m still doing the whole uni thing, so still just living in London. Not many developments.” 

“Right. How is London?” 

You thought back to your apartment. Your shitty apartment and your three roommates who you never spoke to, the leaks in the ceilings, the constant noise, the crowds, the grey fogs that would weigh down on your lungs, the deaths on the tube, the harassment just from walking to campus, everything. “It sucks. The city is horrible,” you sighed, “The school is alright, though. The people are standoffish and don’t talk, but the education is good.”

Wilbur looked as though he was fighting off a smile, taking a sip from the beer he’d been given. “I’m sorry to hear that. Glad the school is good. It may not be my place exactly, but do you mind if I say something?” 

Dread filled your chest. “Well, you have to now.” 

A smile crossed his face, his eyes wrinkling at the corners. “I told you so.” 

A moment of processing passed before you burst into laughter. Of course, after all the years you knew Wilbur Soot, you probably could have predicted that would be the first thing he’d want to say to you. 

“Okay, okay, I can admit. Maybe you were a little right. I’ve got my regrets, but despite the city, I don’t hate my choice,” you took a sip from your pint, “what about you? How’s life been?” 

He shrugged a bit, “I’d say good. I did some schooling online and graduated a bit ago. Been doing some work, uh, online, so yeah. It’s been good.” 

“Oh, that sounds cool. Anything I’d know?” 

 “Uh, maybe…” He went quiet for a moment before continuing, “I work for Twitch if you know that company.” 

You shrugged, “I know of them. That’s cool though, I’m glad you found something you enjoy.” 

He smiled a bit, “Yeah, it’s been nice. I’ve made quite a few friends.”

“Really?” That was a bit of a surprise, “Shy little Wilby is making work friends?” 

He seemed to flush a bit, chuckling, “I’ve gotten better about the shyness.” 

“That’s good. You seem to be doing better in that department than I have. I haven’t changed much at all, I think.” 

He hummed, pondering. He stared for a moment, and you almost felt shy under his gaze. Finally, after what felt like ages, he spoke up, “You do your hair differently. You used to part it to the side.” 

You laughed, surprised by the unexpected statement, instinctively reaching up to fix some stray hairs. It brought a blush up to your cheeks, as you couldn’t remember the last time someone had noticed such a small detail as that. You bit your lip for a moment before responding, “Yeah, I- I guess so. Though, to be fair, we kind of had the whole edginess thing going on back then. Had to look the part.”

“Very true,” He snorted a bit, “I still listen to the same music for the most part though.” 

“Oh, let me guess. Favorite band is still Los Campesinos!?” 

“Yeah,” he laughed, “though I play a bit of my music now too.” 

“Oh?” that was a major development. Wilbur spent a significant amount of time in school talking about how much he wanted to play music, always humming some tune to himself, “Will, that’s fantastic. You’ll have to show me sometime.” 

“I could show you now, if you’d like. I’m just watching the house for my parents, so I brought some of my music equipment with me.”

You don’t know what made you so willing to say yes. Maybe it was the fact that you’d finished your pint. Maybe it was just the way that being here and talking to Wilbur made the heaviness in your chest finally lighten up since you first realized you’d have to go home. Either way, before you knew it, you and Wilbur were walking back to his place, chatting lightly the whole way there. 

“Wow, this place hasn’t changed.” 

You took off your coat as you and Wilbur entered his front door. 

“My parent’s haven’t made much of an effort to change things. They think the nineties are still in.” He joked lightly as he locked the door behind you both. 

You chuckled, “Yeah, I can see that.” You followed him up the stairs, “So, you said you were just watching the place for them. I take it you don’t live here anymore?” 

“Nope, I’ve been living in Brighton, actually. I think you’d really like it. It’s still England, so it’s not great, but the ocean is gorgeous.” 

“I’ve been meaning to go down there, actually. It’s only about an hour's train from me, so sometimes my roommates go down there for long weekends. I just haven’t had the time.” 

He hummed, “Well, whenever you do have the time, let me know. I’ve got a pretty nice spare room. Plus, I could introduce you to my mates.”

You smiled softly, mostly to yourself, “Yeah. That would be nice.” 

He sat down on his bed, reaching behind him and grabbing his guitar.  You  took a moment to look around the room. The same posters were still hung up, the dents in the wall from you and him goofing off and throwing things, even the scuffs on the floorboards from when you and him rearranged all his furniture. In the years of separation, you expected more of a difference. The only actual difference was that the room was cleaned for once. You hesitated before sitting next to him as you made your observations. He noticed. 

“What’s up?” 

I shrugged, “It’s weird. Being back here, I mean. I haven’t sat here since A-levels.”

He nodded, thinking it over for a moment. “Yeah. It is a bit weird. Doesn’t it kind of seem like nothing’s changed though?” He chuckled, “I mean, despite the time gap, you always did say being here made you feel safe.” 

“Yeah,” I sighed, “the feeling is still there. I just feel… weird. I’m used to missing you and all of our memories, but I’m not used to being here again after everything that has changed.” 

He smiled slightly, “you missed me?”

I chuckled, “Obviously, man. I missed you every day. Missed having a best friend to bully.” 

He snorted, “Hey, all of our bullying was friendly. Unlike some of the other wankers at our school.”

You laughed, throwing your head back, “Oh god, yeah. Bloody hell, man, I feel bad for their kids. Marshall’s going into medicine, and my god, I pray I never end up as his patient. I feel like his negligence alone would kill me.” 

Wilbur laughed, leaning into you a bit. “God, that is not a man who should have a medical license,” he sighed softly. “Don’t fret, though. I missed you a lot too. I missed having someone yell at me to go outside or cut my hair.” 

You laughed, “Yeah, my yelling comes from a good place, though.” 

He hummed, “True. It did help me not go stir-crazy for a while there.” He paused for a moment, turning towards you slightly. “Wait, if you missed me, then… why didn’t you ever call?” 

You took a deep breath, sighing softly. “Honestly, at first… I thought you might be mad at me for leaving. We did kind of have a whole argument about it, and I didn’t know if you’d want to hear from me. And then, once some time had passed, I considered it. I considered looking you up and trying to talk to you, or even just texting you, but I just felt like it might’ve been weird for me to just text you out of the blue. I didn’t want you to think I was just contacting you because I needed something or something stupid like that. I got busy, and more time passed, and reaching out just felt weirder and weirder each time I considered it.” 

He nodded softly. He didn’t make eye contact as he listened and thought. “If I’m being honest as well, I didn’t want to hear from you at first. I was pretty upset. But after a while, I just missed my best friend. And I was going to text you, but I thought you’d be upset with how we left things. I wanted you to reach out because if I had hurt you, I couldn’t handle reaching out only to get anger, or even worse, just silence,” He sighed, “but if I knew you were thinking the same, I would have dedicated as much effort as I have to keep you in my life.” 

You flushed a bit, “I would have too.” You made eye contact with him and everything felt warm for a moment, as if his gaze was sunlight peering through dark clouds. 

“Now that I know, though,” he started, “I am going to annoy the fuck out of you.”

You laughed loudly at that, grinning up at him, “I wouldn’t have it any other way. We’ve got a few years to make up for after all.” 

He grinned softly, looking down for a moment. He pulled his guitar up a bit, smiling, “Well, now that that’s settled. Let me play you something.” 

Wilbur’s music was beautiful. He played for an hour before he decided to stop, something about not wanting to play anything he hadn’t quite finished yet. 

“Always the perfectionist, you are,” you commented as he placed his guitar down. 

“Not always, I’ve gotten better about it. But I want to impress you mostly.” 

“Really?” He sat back down on the bed next to you, “You wanted to impress me?” 

He nodded, humming out a soft ‘mmhm’. 

“If I knew we were trying to impress each other, I would’ve made my life sound much cooler.” 

“Oh, really, how so?” 

“I dunno, would’ve made it sound like I have some millionaire boyfriend who takes me to Spain for a casual date.” 

He hesitated, his teeth taking his bottom lip in thought. “Do you have one?”

“A millionaire boyfriend?” You laughed out, “No, Wilbur, I d-“

“No, I just meant like, a boyfriend.” 

“Oh.” You frowned a bit, “No. I don’t. Haven’t exactly gotten to know many people there. Plus, all the men are quite shit.” 

He nodded, “Just like everything else in London?”

“Pretty much,” You chuckled softly, “What about you though? A handsome guy like you in Brighton, I’m sure you’ve gotten yourself, someone, by now.”

He shrugged, “Tried it out for a while, but I just didn’t have much luck.” He stopped as he processed your response in full, “Hold on, handsome? You think I’m handsome?” He teased. 

You lightly blushed, rolling your eyes, “Obviously, man. You’ve always been quite fit. Especially with that haircut rather than that straight line cut you used to have.” 

He laughed, “God, that was horrendous. Well, wait, how about now,” he took his hands and pushed his hair back, revealing his forehead. 

You burst out laughing, “Somehow, yes, even if your forehead takes up half your face.” 

He laughed, moving his hands and shaking his head to get his hair to fall back into place. “I can safely say, I find myself quite flattered. Especially coming from an incredibly pretty person such as yourself.” 

You flushed a soft pink, “You think?”

“No, I don’t think, I just know facts.” 

You blushed darker, chuckling. “Well, thanks.” You lightly nudged him with your side. 

He repeated the action, albeit slightly harder. You two did this for a moment, each going slightly harder until he’d accidentally gone a bit too hard, knocking both of you down. 

You both laughed, him laying his head against your side for a moment, before pulling himself up and holding himself up by his arm above you. 

“You’re still as goofy, Mr. Soot.” 

“Only with you.” 

“Oh?”

“Actually, no. But this kind of goofy, yes.” 

“And what kind is that?” 

He just stared down at you for a moment. You felt yourself flush a bit under his gaze, and you stared back up at him. The light from his room gave him a soft halo glow around his head that made him look completely angelic. You’d always thought him attractive, but fuck he was ethereal like this. 

“The kind I do to make pretty people laugh.” 

Your breath hitched, but you were quiet otherwise. You couldn’t remember a time when your best friend was ever so… bold. Maybe part of you was reading into the tension, but the most gorgeous man you’d ever know just called you pretty. That plus his position above you was enough to make your heartbeat faster. You wanted to kiss him. Something in you felt so strongly the urge to wrap your hands around his neck and kiss him. For some reason you couldn’t quite fathom, though, you didn’t. 

“Well, feels nice being special, then.” 

He laid down next to you, the both of you just staring at the ceiling for a few quiet moments as the tension diffused. 

He turned to you. “I can’t tell if I still know almost everything about you or if I know nothing anymore.” 

“I can’t tell either.” You turned back to him, sighing, “Honestly, you probably still know more about me than I do.” 

“You think?” 

You nodded. 

He thought to himself, “Still play Minecraft?” 

“God, no,” You laughed, “I wish. I just don’t have the time for anything like that. I’ve just been studying constantly.” 

“Unfortunate. If you ever need a break from studying, we could always play together.” He hummed, “ They’ve added a lot of cool things to the game.”

“You still play?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I play a lot. It’s a fantastic narrative tool, in fact.”

“Oh, really?”

“If you have enough people willing to work out a story and act it out, it makes for a cool platform to tell stories.” 

You smiled, despite it being only for Wilbur’s sake. Honestly, you were sad that you didn’t know what he was talking about. 

“What’s up?” 

“Hm?” You questioned softly. 

“Something’s wrong. I still know one of your fake smiles when I see them.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, “no, it’s just… I missed you. I’m a bit bummed that I can’t see the cool stuff you’ve done since.”

“Well,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck, “actually, you can.” 

You gave him a confused look as he continued. 

“You know how I mentioned I worked for Twitch?” You nodded, “well when I say that, I mean that I stream, actually, so playing live for people and that includes all my stories.”

“Wilbur, that’s amazing.”

“I know,” he laughed, “I’m still shocked people are interested in what I write and create.” 

“If they’re anything like your DnD campaigns, I’m not shocked at all.”

He laughed again, throwing his head back, “Oh, man, I loved making those as convoluted as possible though, you were the one who made the stories make sense. These are more streamlined since we have to deal with so many different schedules and coordinate stuff.” 

“God, that sounds stressful. I can barely coordinate plans with one person.” 

He shrugged, “It’s easier since streaming is all of our jobs. It’s more like assigning work shifts.”

You hummed, “That makes sense.”

“Yeah, I can send you some stuff from it. Though, be warned, without your aid, some pieces of lore are wildly convoluted.” 

You chuckled, “I expect nothing less.” 

You and Wilbur continued to talk for hours, just catching each other up on life and new habits, and every detail missed between the cracks of time you two were separated from each other. You couldn’t be sure when you or Will fell asleep, but you woke up feeling safer than you’d had in a long time. When you’d briefly woken up to the morning light coming through the blinds, and you noticed his lanky arm wrapped around you, you gently reached down and held his hand in yours before falling back into the kind arms of rest. 

You woke up again about two hours later. You were facing him now, both of your legs wrapped between each other, and his arm was still lightly cupping your back. You opened your eyes to see him still sleeping, a soft and peaceful expression on his face. You gently reached a hand up to brush some of his hair away from his eyes. You were so busy staring at his soft features that you barely noticed his eyes open. 

“Good morning to you too, then,” he spoke, his voice laced with sleep. 

Your hand jumped back, a blush immediately rising to your cheeks, “Sorry.”

“‘s alright. Felt quite nice, actually.” He blinked the sleep out of his eyes after a moment, and he flushed himself, going to move his hand off your waist, “Oh, sorr-“

“No.” You stopped him, his arm halting midair, “It’s okay. It felt quite nice,” you said, mimicking his words from a moment ago. 

He blushed, cautiously lowering his arm back onto your side. 

“Did you sleep well?” He asked. 

“Yeah. Your room feels more familiar than mine, honestly.” 

He chuckled, his laughter slightly gruff from the early morning, “You probably spent more time here than at your own place, so I can’t say I’m shocked.”

You laughed, “Oh, almost definitely. What about you, did you sleep well?” 

He smiled at you, nodding, “Best I’ve slept since I got here. I felt much less lonely.” 

“I know what you mean. My room kind of just feels cold. Not temperature-wise, but just like,” you sighed, “you know what I mean.”

“Luckily, I do.” He smiled, “You’re welcome to stay here again, if you like.”

You hummed, “I might consider it. Though I would like to stop home to put on something clean.” 

He nodded, “Right, of course, yeah. I actually have to stream today, too, so, if anything, just,” he trailed off, “text me around eight?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded, “That sounds good. I can bring some food from home too, given that I know you have probably just been eating takeout or, god forbid, have been trying to cook by yourself.”

“Hey, I’m much better at cooking than I used to be,” he laughed. “You’re right about the takeout, though.” 

You snorted, “I know you well, Mr. Soot.” 

He smiled fondly, “You sure do.” 

The two of you just lay there quietly, basking in the early air and light. After a few minutes, you sighed, leaning your head against his chest quietly. 

“Is everything alright?” He whispered. 

You nodded against him, burying your face deeper against him while he wrapped his arms tighter around you. You felt emotional all of a sudden as you held onto him: Your best friend, who you’d secretly loved for years. And now, you thought about what held you back in the past. The main thing you were afraid of was losing him, but in the end, that ended up happening anyway. Love confession or not, you lost him, and now, you were given another chance by whatever fateful creature may exist out there. And as insistent as you were to not lose this chance, your logic stopped you. This trip was just that: a trip. In two weeks, you’d be back to your place in London and he would be back in Brighton. But yet there was an ache in your chest, consistent with longing and want but entirely unattainable. 

“Stop thinking so much,” he spoke softly, placing his chin on top of your head. 

“Wilbur, you know that is entirely impossible for me.” 

“Okay,” he trailed off, “then do you want to talk about it, so it can at least be out of your head?”

You did. You wanted to talk about it all, in its entirety, if only just to know if the ache present in your chest matched an ache in him. But you couldn’t. If that ache wasn’t present in him, who would you be to share it with him? The solution seemed to lie in half-truths.

“I’m just thinking about how I go home in two weeks and how much I’m dreading it. I don’t want to go back to schoolwork.”

He hummed, nodding, “It’s probably not helpful to say, but if you dwell on that the whole time you’re here, then it will come twice as fast. You’ve got to slow your brain down a bit. Try and just be in the moment.” 

You snorted, “That’s rich coming from you.” 

He chuckled, “Hey, my anxiety might take over sometimes, but it really does help to try and just focus on what’s happening, you know. You’re safe here,” he lightly kissed the top of your head, “so just focus on being here.” 

You sighed, “I’ll try.” You shifted your focus to the soft sound of his heartbeat against your ear, the feeling of his arms wrapped around your back. Every detail was comprised of him. 

You eventually did have to go home, after receiving a frantic call from your mum about how you “couldn’t just sneak off every time you got bored” which, granted, you disagreed with; you knew this town like the back of your hand, and you’re an adult so it’s not like she can dictate your every move. When you made it home, you went to your room to change and shower, but your thoughts immediately drifted back to Will. You never really noticed just how many minute details you had memorized, like the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, or the way he would tilt his head back when something that caught him offguard made him really laugh. You thought about the way he would hiccup in between laughter so strong it made his ribs hurt. The sly smile he would give you when you made eye contact but neither of you had anything to say.  Your thoughts were entirely consumed by him. 

By the time it was dinner, you had done almost extensive research into Wilbur’s online persona. You watched as many videos as you could, some of his, some of them fan-made. It was a weird concept, your best friend having fans. You’d gone onto the online space briefly before backing away. You didn’t exactly want to intrude on fan debates given how much you knew about Wilbur really. It was odd watching him talk to his chat and everything. It was so different. He didn’t seem like the shy, almost moody, boy you knew. He was much more confident and comfortable. It did warm your heart to see him being so strong in himself. Your mind wonderer over this new information, how different he was from the person you knew, as you ate. You almost didn’t hear your mum speaking to you. 

“Dear, are you listening?”

You brought yourself out of your thoughts, grimacing. She hated when you weren’t listening, “Oh, sorry. No, uhm, what’s up?” 

She frowned, giving you a cold stare, “I asked if you’ve found any jobs lined up yet. For after graduation?” 

You sighed, “Not yet, Mum.”

“Because my old work friend, Charles, he could use the extra folks there. They’re looking into expanding into America.” She never actually cared much about what you wanted to do, always trying to push you into the field she wanted you to pursue. 

“I’ll be fine. I can find a job myself. And Charles doesn’t even work in the same field my degree is in.” 

“Just trying to help,” she tutted, tucking her arms defensively in front of her. “What’s on your mind these days?” 

You shrugged tensely, “School and work. I haven’t had time for much else.”

She cooed, almost mocking, “You really should be looking into a relationship, dearie. You don’t want all the good ones taken, right?” 

“God, mum, stop that. I’m fine on my own.” 

“But are you happy?” She laughed, as if taunting you. 

“I resent the implication that I cannot be perfectly fine and happy on my own without the presence of another person to fulfill me.” You spat.

“I’m not saying that specifically, I’m just saying, you really ought to try harder. I’m sure most people don’t find your constant sweatpants that attractive.” 

You groaned, standing. “I can’t be here for this anymore.” 

She did this every year. Constantly reminding you of your own loneliness under the guise of being thoughtful and caring, rather than just understanding that you are your own person who’d rather be alone before feeling like someone’s personal doll. 

You strode to the kitchen, filling a container with some leftovers for Wilbur as your mother tried helplessly to justify her own points. You waved her off, grabbing your bag before walking out the door.

You let out a sigh once you headed out. You walked to the end of the street and sat on the curb, pulling out your phone to text Wilbur. Once you got confirmation that you could come, you stood and walked the short distance to his place.

He opened the door, and you walked in casually. 

“You look annoyed about something,” he noted. 

“I would like you to take a wild guess,” you hummed, handing him the leftovers. 

He murmured a quick ‘thank you’ before responding, “Your mum?” 

“Still as bad as before, she is.” 

He sighed, “At least you’ve got mine to hide out at. Want to watch a movie or something?” 

taglist: @shubblelive / @superioritycomplexes (dm me or send an ask to be added!)

[stay-midnight]

hello hello!

. . . 🎙

i mean-pquwbzkwiw its long and all that so understandable 🤧 just delete it or something then-? HAHA- i don't want my asks to be too bothersome y'know so do what u gotta😎💕 (also fr justice for snowswept tails and divine amusement eventually!)

Anyways-Changbin ficc ! ! ! Idk if it's right or not but what I noticed most about the change in writing style is like, its more descriptive? Describing the atmosphere or the background and all that- its nice ! And Changbin is so romantic in it 🤧🤧🤧 Also-soft dom smut is a nice change of pace for suree (cause we all know-) pretty good overall as well!

also also! the college au skz 🤧🤧 THE FACT THAT ALL OF THEM HAS SPECIALTIES LIKE- (i would very much like to be madaldal about perv jisung and just perv skz in general so sorry about that in advance /hj)

ahhh the prisoner seungmin and incubus jeongin random thoughts (i was actually thinking of asking if just random thoughts was okay to send instead of the fic talk-)

hushed sex with prisoner seungmin oml-he'd probably be whispering the nastiest stuff as he shuts you up with his big hand i-certainly a setting that's new for thoughts 👀

the incubus jeongin one i haven't read it but imagining it is-🤐🤐🤐 (if we're specialties now then blindfolds with incubus jeongin for that one-would want you to be so addicted to him that you didn't even need to see him doing the things he'd do-more pleasure to feed on ofc!)

shorter ask than usual-(a miracle honestly-) anyways, that its for nowww 💅💕

good evening anonnie!

boop!

I dont wanna delete it 😭 cuz idk ill keep it in my inbox for awhile— its not bothersome but I just feel bad cuz you put the effort into those asks 😭 (frfr hopefully those fics will turn into full fics someday)

Yes? In a way— trying different styles in writing because of purposes and researching stuff as well cuz yall deserve the best content hmph 😤 I also tried to play with words a bit as an experiment and yeah— I started getting into the more softer side with the new fics idk why(?) did 10 months affect my libido or something-I love romantic changbin sm! And up next, lee know and bin fic! hmmm i have a general idea in mind but not a clear plot point

YES, like college au skz has a hold on me depending on how its delivered but thats just some of my ideas and yours in the specialities! (oh yes, perv jisung is literally 😫🫣 cuz idk Ive fallen for that jisung trope like? newnwnwis)

Yea! Random thoughts are okay cuz they give me burst of ideas driven by thoughts—

Seee? cuz like Prisoner Seungmin is so unexpected like seungmin is on the more tame side of skz fics itll be a nice change of pace but anyway, Seungmin fucking you in the prison bathroom as well? under the cold public showers he would shamelessly fuck you despite other prisoners around in a way its him claiming you his—

Ive hidden that fic deep somewhere cuz like the writing is making me go 😨😬 but it does make me see my improvements atleast BUT LIKE- anyway Incubus Jeongin is having fun with you and messing you up in your dreams as you sweat in blindfolds in your own head- of course, it makes you beg for his touch as he teases you— twirking your nips, thumbing the slit of your cock and lightly brushing against your rim- aghhhhhbwbsuannns

aaAaa its even more a miracle that i answered this that fast- thank you anonnie!

[ifthiswallcouldtalk]

I lied before. I understand my mother now. Not as a form of violence or as a relationship between predator and prey. I can feel her teeth poking at my gums now. I get it. I get what it is to be so lonely for so long that once you do have someone to occupy that space, you'd rather have nothing at all then half of what you want. I understand why she bites the hands that feed her and why everything must be on her terms. I get it mama. I really do.

But I know more than you did at my age. And I know the anger is not justified. It's not the people who are wrong for having flaws and being distant and not quiet clicking into place. They are not ungrateful for not wanting to occupy this shrine that you have built for them. The pedestal of a friend, or lover, or sibling. They didn't ask to be put there. And no matter how much you worship and tend to this shrine, a pedestal is still in a cage if the inhabitant cannot move. Can't grow. Can't make mistakes, can't choose. But you just want someone to choose you so badly, You want them to understand you so, so badly. You just want one, simple, miserable thing. And that is for someone to be glad when you walk into a room. 

And over the years you have become bitter and angry that you cannot seem to find a single person that can stand to be around you all of the time. Not a single person who enjoys your company so much that they would do anything to have you around. I get it mama. I understand now. And you never really had a fighting chance. You were brought into this miserable world through a miserable woman into a miserable family. You, and I know you don't like to admit it, came into this world broken. I know, because it's always been like this for me too. I came into this world broken too, and I know you don't want to admit that either. I wish I could tell you it wasn't your fault, and you'd believe me. Maybe If I could convince you of that one thing, we'd be able to unravel all of the anger you've used to force those broken pieces into a functioning person. Maybe we could heal that miserable little girl. 

Regardless, you were forced into a dark corner of the world, already broken, and were forced to fix yourself without any knowledge that you were hurt in the first place. Of course, you didn't do it right. But further than that, I know almost everything there is to know about what is wrong with me. What toxic traits I have, how I hurt the people around me sometimes. How I hurt myself and my chances for survival. How im really only here because maybe one day I'll be okay, but I'm not holding my breath. I just got a 2,000 dollar check and if I could use it to euthanize myself I would. Start over. Come back as someone else. I know that that's not healthy either. But I cannot rationalize myself out of misery. I know everything there is to know. And it doesn't matter. My misery is persistent, just like yours. My ungratefulness is persistent. My yearning for more is persistent. That's the brokenness in us mama. We have black holes where our spirit should be. We want more from people than they can give. Should give. More than we have a right to. 

Our beasts are the same mama. I keep mine chained though. Not tamed, because she tells me when something is wrong I try not to listen to her suggestions on what to do about it; it doesn't always work but I keep her contained. I think you let yours off her leash too much. And that is really the only difference between us. You think her jaws are righteous, I know that mine are just greedy.

I dont think I'm asexual, I think I know that loving me would be like loving a void. There is not enough you can give me for me to be truly happy. I'd end up snapping like I always do, and the thought of being someone's crazy ex terrifies me. So. Not to mention all the ways I fuck up on a daily basis. I know that I should take responsibility; better myself, drink water, not wear the bloody underwear my entire period, make my bed. But I don't feel human most days, and taking responsibility for my actions is like driving in a car where the brakes are cut, the oil hasn't been changed and the headlights don't work, and having to explain why you crashed the damn thing. If you follow this metaphor long enough you start hearing the same self help things people tell you: “Change the oil regularly, put new headlights in, if you know it is broken why wont you go somewhere to fix it?”

The metaphor starts to fall apart then because you and I both know the real solution is to throw the damn thing out, and get a fucking new one. And that's what people do to us right? If we really show our underbelly? Decide that we aren't worth the trouble. We've also decided that we aren't worth the trouble. That's why we haven't gotten therapy right? Why fucking bother. I've been trying to tell you that maybe pills will work. Maybe just maybe the medical field just this once won't fail us. Because our voids are killing us mama. And I want to one day be able to come home and know that my abyss won't send your black hole into a frenzy. I wanna fix us, but that means you are coming to terms with some things.

 But that's okay, I'll wait. I'll stay as long as you need me to mama. And when the reaper comes to take you, I will be right there. You will not die alone, I will make sure of it. I love you.

SHE WANTS TO BE UNDERSTOOD. THAT ONE POST THATS LIKE THERE IS LOVE IN BEING UNDERSTOOD. THATS WHAT SHE WANTS. I DONT UNDERSTAND HER THOUGH. I NEVER HAVE. I COULDNT.I UNDERSTAND HER THE WAY A HARE UNDERSTANDS A FOX. A DEER UNDERSTANDS BEARS. I UNDERSTAND HER AS A MEANS OF SURVIVAL. BECUASE IF I WERE TO UNDERSTAND HER COMPLETELY, THAT WOULD MEAN I HAVE BECOME HER. AND I SPENT YEARS TRYING TO DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE

[d10nsaint]

Your whole entire account gives me more dion brainrot then i need you feed my addiction all i think abt is more milf reader and dion imagine her being a strong magic user 😩

Yet again me on your acc love you lots😩😩❤️❤️

HIHIHIIII!!! also random hcs please spare meeee

Dion w a powerful wife would be such a power couple on missions

like, back to back, surrounded.

*Partners in crime by set it off plays as they kill people*

And then imagine going to a ball with him..BJBH THE MATCHING OUTFITS???

like, he would have a purple outfit (agriche's color) w the red hints, and you would have a purple dress with red roses & blackshaw flowers!! (taming of the tyrant ref.)

Then nobody would talk to you both because hes glaring daggers at anybody who looks at you

Imagine the morning after sex and you use magic to cover up bruises.He would watch you so intently, too..

Yk how he used a little lightning magic in s1?Thoughts of teaching him that are flooding my mind

And your kids would all be so beautiful

3 mini versions of you then a pair of twins that look like dion and act like him

And your kids would love affection because they don't want to end up like their dad (attention starved, therefore always needing to fuck for validation)

Imagine having Dion's siblings hit on you though..

Like, fontaine talking about what he'd do to you while you scrunch up your face.

Then sexy roxana's seduction omgee omgee...!!

I would see you also being close to lant, and getting a sneak at his plans then telling dion so he could prepare.

Seducing dion, though..'

Like, he would say 'we need more kids' and you would lazily smile at him and kiss him in the most enchanting way possible and he would just be starstruck(but its not on his face)

Imagine caging him between your arms on a wall and putting your hand under his chin after kissing his cheek and sending a light shock to his body everytime he tries to back out.

The way he would have the most sexy laugh (laughing at you, obvi) as you seduce him because he knows your knees get weak at his voice..!

How he wouldnt know what to do with kids, either.Like, didnt you put those in me sir??Wdym you dont know how to take care of them while i go bathe??

[saturndivine]

The Ferality of Mars

»»————-　➴　————-««»»————-　➴

Feral: "Existing in a wild or untamed state"

When I think of Mars, I think of the Greek god, Ares. I think of the heart pumping blood throughout the body to keep it alive. I think of passion, ferocity, and rawness. Mars is the planet of emotion, similarly to the moon but with a more sinister twist. Mars wants you to feel everything and create with that energy, Mars wants you to be overwhelmed with emotion, so much so it consumes and guides you. Mars wants you to feel everything. It is known as a Malefic Planet because of its inability to be tamed and controlled but Mars isn’t about having control, its about intuition and allowing yourself to be guided by the invisible force that encourages you to nuzzle into your most primal and authentic state and honor that part of you. 

[Yes I will be using Hozier lyrics that represent the ferality of each sign]

Aries Mars [Mars in 1st]

When I picture Aries Mars at its most feral state, I visualize a forest fire consuming everything in its path, absorbing nature to feed as fuel. With Mars in its rulership, Aries Mars has no issue releasing, guided by their heart throughout it all to overcome whatever may stand in their way. They move quickly and harshly, striking first and questioning later. You mold life into what you want it to be so there is no need for you to even plan right? As an unstoppable force, you have to let your heart take control. 

“There's no plan, there's no race to be run

The harder the pain, honey, the sweeter the sun

There's no plan, there's no kingdom to come

Sit in & watch the sunlight fade, honey, enjoy its getting late

Theres no plan, theres no hand on the reign,

...As Mack explained, there will be darkness again”

Taurus Mars [Mars in 2nd]

When I picture Taurus Mars at its most feral state, I imagine a bear tearing its way through a beehive, grasping at the honeycombs and devouring it in a matter of seconds. With a venus-ruled mars or mars in detriment, you all look for the sweeter things in life and insist that you are worthy of goodness and don’t mind taking it for yourself. Conflict is stupid to you because you have your own morals and studies and firmly believe in what you desire and if anyone steps to you, you have the power to throw it right back in their face. You are the raging bull, undefeated once you’re committed. But you represent the tamer, earthy side of Mars.

“I have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me.

I have never known hunger, like these insects that feast on me.

A thousand teeth, and yours among them, I know.

Our hungers appeased, our heartbeats becoming slow.” 

Gemini Mars [Mars in 3rd]

When I picture Gemini Mars at its most feral state, I picture the rebirth that spring offers. The energy of this mars sign matches the intensity of the rising sun and falling rain that causes the flowers to blossom and fill the earth with its aroma. It is quite impossible to stop a determined Gemini, they want to leave their mark on this earth and do so in many different ways as they are indestructible, powered by the combination of their mind and their heart which creates an explosion upon collision. To get in the way of this placement is to stand in the way of the changing seasons, impossible. 

“Each day you'd rise with me, know that I would gladly be the Icarus to your certainty.

Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight.

Strap the wing to me, death trap clad happily, with wax melted, I’d meet the sea,

Under sunlight, sunlight, sunlight.”

Cancer Mars [Mars in 4th]

When I picture Cancer Mars at its most feral state, I visualize the crumbling of the earth into itself, only to grow back in a healthier form. A resilient placement that can have the worst thrown at them and come back only more beautiful. In the introduction, I discussed how both Moon and Mars share a common goal but the Moon goes about it a different way, as Cancer Mars goes about martian energy in a different way as well. With mars in fall, Cancer takes the soft approach to ferality, embracing the harsh energy and converting it into tenderness. 

“And I love too, that love soon might end, 

be known in its aching, shown in the shaking,

Lately of my wasteland, baby. 

Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking,

Though quaking, though crazy

That's just wasteland, baby.” 

Leo Mars [Mars in 5th]

When I picture Leo Mars at its most feral state I see a blinding white-hot light overcoming anyone and everyone in its path, forcing others to bend to its will simply by doing what it does naturally. As a fixed mars, Leos energy is continuous and bold, quite difficult to escape if a Leo Mars has you in their eye line. They are everywhere, they rule the heart so they rule ferality in a way, diving back into their lion roots and fully delving into the fact that they are the rulers of the jungle and rulers of the world.

“Be love in its disrepute, scorches the hillside and salts every root 

And watches the slowing and starving of troops

And, lover, be good to me.

Be there and just as you stand or be like the rose that you hold in your hand 

That will grow bold in a barren and desolate land

Oh, lover, be good to me.”

Virgo Mars [Mars in 6th]

When I picture Virgo Mars at its most feral state I can clearly gaze upon an open field, a deer nosing at grass only to be pounced on by a random predator, yet Virgo represents both the predator and the prey, enforcing balance and really honoring nature fully. Virgo Mars is one of the most ferocious and determined martian placement because they understand how to use the life around them to their advantage. Failure is impossible because they are always ten steps ahead of everyone else. They understand balance, both aggressiveness, and peacefulness. 

“With the war of the fire, my heart moves to its feet

Like the ashes of ash, I saw eyes in the heat

Feel it soft and as pure as snow, fell in love with the fire long ago

With each love I could lose, I was never the same

Watch it still live in roofs, be consumed by the flame

I was fixed on your hand of gold, laying waste of my lovin' long ago”

Libra Mars [Mars in 7th]

When I picture Libra Mars at its most feral state, I see a person walking into a mossy lake only to never come out again. There is a slight underestimation when people first get to know the Libra Mars.  This martian placement matches up with tricky Aphrodite, Libra mars has secrets they dont want unturned, they have a hidden past that they want to be kept to themselves because they are never the people they were a few moments ago. They are evolving and healing, rubbing soil on their open wounds to grow into a new version of themselves. 

“I had a thought, dear, however scary about that night, the bugs and the dirt.

Why were you digging? What did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth?

I will not ask you where you came from, I will not ask and neither should you. 

Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do.” 

Scorpio Mars [Mars in 8th]

When I picture Scorpio Mars at its most feral state, there is a black burning tree in the middle of the falling snow, crackling and popping and falling to the pieces onto blankets of snow only to keep burning. Mars takes a different approach in this rulership, it is calculated, ready, and sure of whatever move is to be made as if it has been practiced for quite some time. There is no defeating a Scorpio mars, only succumbing, bending to its will, and praying that they will take mercy on your soul. 

“If I was born as a blackthorn tree, I'd wanna be felled by you, held by you

Fuel the pyre of your enemies.

Ain't it warming you, the world gone up in flames?

Ain't it the life you, your lighting of the blaze?

Ain't it a waste they'd watch the throwing of the shade?

Ain't you my baby, ain't you my babe?”

Sagittarius Mars [Mars in 9th]

When I picture Sagittarius Mars at its most feral state, I see the serpent in the garden of Eden sliding on its belly and offering an option of freedom, going against the grain of submissiveness. Sagittarius Mars tends to ooze this raw sex appeal that stems from their confidence & their need to question the life around them, never satisfied by what is given to them, instead they leave their own mark on the world before them by embracing individuality and moving along their own path. 

“I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found. 

I'd be the choiceless hope in grief that drove him underground.

I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee that made him turn around.

And I'd be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice,

Imagine being loved by me.” 

Capricorn Mars [Mars in 10th]

When I picture Capricorn Mars at its most feral state, I imagine the fall of an empire, a civilization, a society, forced to come to terms with the fact that its reign has come to an end. Mars in exalt, arguably one of the most powerful placements to have in the natal chart, there isn’t a way to prevent the energy of a Capricorn Mars, they are backed by Saturn, two malefic energies combining to create an unbeatable power and manifesting as strength in the native who claims this energy. 

“It's the light, and it's the obstacle that casts it

It's the heat that drives the light, It's the fire it ignites,

It's not the waking, it's the rising.

It's not the song, it is the singing.

It's the heaven of a human spirit ringing.

It is the bringing of the line, It is the bearing of the rhyme

It's not the waking, it's the rising.”

Aquarius Mars [Mars in 11th]

When I picture Aquarius Mars at its most feral state, I visualize a group of nude women, dancing around an intense fire, the full moon shining only for them as they howl out into the wind. Aquarius Mars is a placement that understands how to honor their roots and get back in touch with themselves to move to the future. They use their past to propel them into new opportunities and to become a higher version of themselves. There is no obstructing this futuristic placement, eyes steady on the prize that remains up ahead. 

“When you move, I can recall something that's gone from me

When you move honey, I'm put in awe of something so flawed and free.

So move me, baby, shake like the bough of a willow tree,

You do it naturally, move me, baby.” 

Pisces Mars [Mars in 12th]

When I picture Pisces Mars at its most feral state, I envision a floating sailor, sinking in with each song that leaves the siren’s voice only to realize that it is too late as the last of air leaves their lungs and they now become one with the siren. Pisces Mars has the gift of “innocence” that people project onto them and they understand how to use it to their advantage and come out on top. Deception is a mastered tool but doesn’t negate the fact that they are simply seductive and persuasive and hold power that many are unaware of. They should continue to move carefully and use their “faults” to their benefit. 

“Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh, 

I lay my heart down with the rest at her feet.

Fresh from the fields, all fetor and fertile

It's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet. 

In leash-less confusion, I'll wander the concrete,

Wonder if better now having survived.

The jarring of judgment and reason's defeat. 

The sweet heat of her breath in my mouth; I'm alive.”

Link to Website [Services, Blog, & More!]

[glowy-green-potions]

Hi sage time for your ask!!! ALSO Im just. going to ramble a bit about our shared ships and also the one au I know/can remember that you have at all (the wing au) sO apologies if this is messy! <3

Anyways uhm, I love your wing au, specifically Griffin having wings is just such a lovely concept. SO Doddle x Henry x Griffin with the wing au??

(I AM SO SORRY THIS IS GOING TO BE MESSY I DONT KNOW HOW TO SEND AU ASKS NORMALLY AJHAJSDHASD)

How would Griffin have wings? How would he get together with Henry and Doddle? Would he be together with one of them first and then the other joined, would Henry and Doddle be in a relationship first and then invite him in? How would they find out that Griffin has wings? Also the thought of grooming sessions where Henry and Doddle go through Griffin's wings and tame the feathers my beloved. Griffin using his wings to embrace his lovers when they cuddle??? I wish I was an artist so I could actually draw that. Just... Please, please ramble about this, my brain is smooth sO I would be very happy for every ounce of info or lore you could give me <3

This came out really long so I'm adding a read more <3

So for the griffin winged au there's 2 ways I can see griffin getting wings I'm only going to focus on one which is basically when moreau attacked the society instead of being brunt to a crisp by hyde he instead sees that he'll probably lose grabs the first lodger he sees which just so to be griffin. Moreau experiments on griffin giving him wings and other bird-like abilities and also moreau experiments on griffin gives him the ability to turn himself invisible at will just as the cherry on top. When they find griffin he's locked up in a cage very obviously hurt and doesn't seem to be fully there. The moment he sees them he just turns invisible and the only people who can go near him are jekyll and doddle. To get him out of his cage doddle eventually lures him out with his favorite sweet and the mintue griffin gets to them he just collapses onto them and passes out (Also im imagining doddle griffin and jekyll were already together before this.) Now we can get onto the fluffier bits :D so when griffin first wakes up he's in the society's medical area and while the were able to clean most of his wounds they couldn't touch his wings without worry of hurting him. Anyway jekyll walks in to check sees that he's awake que tearful reunion jekyll also asks a lodger to go grab doddle. After they catch griffin up on everything and such they bring up the topic of cleaning griffins wings (which I imagine are kinda like a snowy owls pattern wise tho he acts more crow-like) griffin nods though he's notably tensing a lil. They eventually start and while during the beginning its a slow process to say the least eventually as they get through the bad areas griffin starts relaxing they all end up cuddling once the actual cleaning is done<3 griffin does lose a lot of feathers during the cleaning more than they thought he would so they do have jasper come take a look. And while griffin is trying to stay calm he does not trust jasper so I imagine the process has a lot of griffin turning invisible on accident and doddle and jekyll have to hold his hands to make sure he doesn't hurt himself with his claws. (Eventually he goes up to meet frankenstein it does not go well he ends up going invisible and leaving in a panic(when I do the actual au post I'm going to talk so much about the creature x griffin possibilities-) Anyway now we can go into some of the real fluffy bits. Like I have said before griffin loves collecting shiny objects and giving them to doddle and jekyll. He lights up when doddle or jekyll like an object he gives them. I can imagine doddle cooks for all three of them a lot which increases after griffin comes back from moreau because moreau doesn't seem like the type to feed his experiments often. Also wing body language my beloved<3 he poofs them up when annoyed. Spreads them out a lil more around jekyll and doddle. Whenever he's stressed he starts losing more feathers than normal. Also not wing based but he goes invisible whenever he's panicked or flustered<3 doddle smiles at him and it's adorable he's now invisible. Jekyll and doddle think it's the cutest thing. Also him and jekyll tend to read and cuddle a lot while they watch doddle cook and once doddles done he joins them in cuddling and they all eat together <3 eventually grooming griffins wings every weekend becomes a thing they just cuddle while going through his feathers. I think that is all this came out really long

<3

[multyfandoms-imagines]

May we have Mountain of Smiling Bodies headcanons, please! :)

Sure. I have some headcanons for Mountain. Altho, since it is mostly "mindless", it is abit of a tricky abno to write headcanons for

Smiling Faces (Mountain of the Smiling Bodies' headcanons)

•where do i even begin with. Mountain. Just. Doesnt respond to the most things you do with it. Its just a pile of corpses that is always hungry

•please dont get any cuts or bruises. I mean it. ANY. It will smell blood and start to try and bite you. Its not good. So be sure you are 100% healthy before even thinking of going into MotSB's room

•it eats any flesh. Fresh meat pieces of fallen workers and fresh meat from animals work very well on Mountain since it is focused on meat instead of you

•just dont get too excited or else it will bite of your enitre arm and then eat you

•Mountain most of the time just wants to be alone. Or eat. But, even with it being as smart as some fish, it will eventually remember the smell of the employee, who feeds them. So, when MotSB meets that employee, it will instantly think that they have food and its feeding time

•but it doesnt work during breaching. Mostly thinks about eating as many corpses as possible. It acts on instinct and, sadly, cant be tamed

•im pretty sure at one point will give you that face-looking EGO gift. Mountain is blind, but if it will smell you over and over in its room, it will give gift because it is 100% sure that its that one employee who feeds Mountain

•recovers really quickly from any damage delt to Mountain, but also suffers the same problem most corpses have - easy to break (thats why Red weapons are deadly against MotSB). But trying to heal it will make it angry. It doesnt want your hands on its corpses. Shoo! It heals quickly enough already!

•but eh, guess you'll just have a... very... big and angry... dog-like thing. Yeah. Hungry, big, undead doggo

[turtle-steverogers]

Not Guilty- 2

murder mystery’s back! im having too much fun with this story guys

Link to chap 1 in case you need it

warnings: albert being a human disaster, abuse of the word ‘milk’

ship: ralbert, platonic spalbert

word count: 1680

editing: lmaoooo no

Chap 2

When Albert gets to the precinct the next morning, he’s wary to find a wrapped parcel on his desk that looks suspiciously like a sandwich.  He pokes at it, frowning when he sees a singular smiley face drawn on the underside in black sharpie.

 “Hey, uh, Spot?” He calls, looking up when he hears his partner’s chair roll out from his desk and subsequently poke his head around the low wooden wall that separates their cubicles.

“Yes, honeycakes?” Spot’s expression is the face of innocence and Albert’s stomach churns.

“Did you-” He stumbles, gesturing to the presumed sandwich, “Is this for me?”

“It’s on your desk, isn’t it?” Spot smiles, rolling back into his cubicle.

Albert sighs, taking off his messenger bag and jacket and sitting heavily in his desk chair.  He cautiously unwraps the white paper to find a loaded meatball sub sitting in the middle of a napkin.  There’s a sticky note placed delicately on the fluffy white bread and Albert plucks it up, squinting at the words:

Sorry you didn’t finish your sandwich xoxo Spottie

He laughs probably too loud and sticks the sticky note on his desktop, right next to the note from Jack that reads: ‘I’m sorry for stealing your pants, I had brains on mine’ after Jack had taken his extra pair of slacks from his locker when his got spoiled at a crime scene.

He takes a bite of the sandwich, pleased to find that he can still stomach his favorite Gianno’s special after yesterday’s events.  As he chews, careful not to get any tomato sauce on his shirt, he plucks a sticky note from his own pad and scrawls out: Thanks, Pop Spotcket.  Love u, dear xoxo and tosses it over to Spot.

A moment later, Spot snorts indignantly, “‘Pop Spotcket’? Really? Does anyone actually use those anymore?  The only person I know who has one is my niece and she’s eleven.”

Albert rolls his chair so he’s in Spot’s cubicle, sandwich still in hand, “I have one, asshole.  They’re useful.  Anyway, thanks for the sandwich.  How’s it looking at Gianno’s?”

Spot sighs wearily, placing a stack of papers down and turning from his computer to look at Albert, “Eh.  They’re closed today.  I stopped by this morning to pick up some evidence left at the crime scene and one of the waiters asked if I wanted anything and I remembered that you didn’t get to finish your lunch yesterday so…”

“Thanks, man,” Albert says, mouth full.  Spot wrinkles his nose and tells him not to speak with food in his mouth.  Albert rolls his eyes, “Anyway, evidence?  What’s new?”

“Nothing really,” Spot says, “Just Wiesel’s receipt from his last meal.  Wasn’t really much on it, but it gave us a sure timestamp that lines up with our original record, so at least that’s set.”

“Good,” Albert shoves the last bit of sandwich into his mouth, licking his fingers.

“Yeah.  Saw our boy there, though.”

Albert raises his eyebrows, “Higgins?”

“Mhm.”

“How’s he?”

Spot shrugs, “Didn’t talk to him.  Kid looked like shit.  Well, more shitty than yesterday if that’s somehow possible.  Kept sending cute little glares my way, fucking ray of sunshine, that one.”

“Christ,” Albert grimaces, “I’m convinced he’s a player in this debacle somehow.  I mean, he seemed genuinely surprised when he found out the vic was Wiesel, but too many strings lead to connections on his end.”

“Yeah,” Spot agrees, “I dunno, I say we dig a little into Wiesel’s other relations as well.  I feel like there’s a gap here somewhere.”

“Toxicology came back,” Albert says after a pause.

Spot looks at him, eyebrows raised, “And?”

“Sarin poison in the blood.  Stab wounds were post-mortem.  Someone wanted this shit to look messier than it is.”

“Interesting.  I wonder who’d go through the trouble of poisoning, then following up with a physical attack.  ‘Specially in a public place.  S’kinda risky.”

“That’s what I was thinking, but whoever it was, clearly knew what they were doing.”

“Clearly…”

XXX

Albert never understood why there was such a wide variety of milks in the world.  And why, in this moment, he can’t find any simple fucking 2%.  

He scans over the selection again, bypassing the almond and oat milks and skimming over the fritzy lactose free shit.  There’s strawberry milk and chocolate milk on display and even horrifyingly enough, mint milk, but no fucking 2%.  It’s not even like this fucking bodega is big enough to warrant having so many milks. 

He just wants some damn normal person milk!

“Excuse me, detective.” 

Albert doesn’t startle.  He doesn’t.  He’s a trained law enforcement officer and detective.  People like him don’t fucking startle.  But, he is on high, professional alert when he turns around to see Antonio Fucking Higgins standing behind him, eyebrows raised in what’s probably amusement and hands shoved in his pockets.

Albert makes a strangled noise, eyes working on their own accord as they trail down Higgins’ body.  He’s sweaty, looking like he just came from some sort of workout, and a pair of tight adidas running pants hug his legs in all the right places.  He’s in a tank top today, somehow doing his arms more justice than the grey shirt he’d been wearing yesterday.  A hat sits backwards on his head, doing little to tame the curls that are trying to sneak out of the stupid hole where the strap meets the fabric.  He looks hot and it’s unfair and Albert’s never been ashamed of his sexuality, but right now he’s wishing that he could reign in his gay ass a little bit because aside from the fact that Higgins is a bit of a prick, he’s also a suspect and that’s, like, number one in the Book of Nope for cops of any kind.

Higgins is still looking at him, but now there’s a small crease of concern between his eyebrows, “You alright, man?” He asks, “You look kinda like you’re having a heart attack.  Do you have any chest pain?  Your left arm feel numb at all?”

Albert shakes himself, morphing his expression into something he hopes looks less like Gay Panic, “Yeah, sorry, I-” He splutters a bit, then shuts his mouth with a click.  

Higgins scoffs, “I just need milk, man, you mind?”

Albert starts, hastily stepping out from where he was definitely blocking the milk selection and watching as Race grabs a carton of-- fucking 2%.  How did he find it so fast?  How did Albert not see it?  He’s supposed to be the one trained to look for details others don’t see!

Trying not to flush, Albert reaches out and grabs a carton as well and Higgins looks at him again, laughing, “You were standing here for a long time, dude, I thought you were gonna murder the milk for a second.”

“Couldn’t find the 2%.” Albert mumbles, blushing harder when Higgins laughs louder.

“Real good reconnaissance there, detective.”

When Higgins is laughing, his face changes into something a whole lot more pleasant.  Not that it was ever unpleasant (the dude’s got a jawline of a god), but some of the hardness in his eyes and shadows on his face go away and for just a second, he looks like the 25 year old he’s supposed to be.  It’s nice, Albert thinks, ignoring the way alarm bells are going off in his head.

“Shut up, Higgins, I’m tired.  Some of us have to read about murders all day, so excuse me if my milk finding skills aren’t the most refined.”

Higgins’ face softens and the smile in his eyes turns into something else that Albert doesn’t want to dissect, “Race.”

“What?”

“Higgins is my dad, not me.  And I don’t like the name Antonio very much, so if we’re gonna be talking more, be it over murder or milk, call me Race.”

“Race?”

Higgins--Race--winks, “That’s a story for level five amici.”

“Oh, okay.”

They pause for a moment and even though Albert’s not drunk, his inhibitions seem to flutter away from him against his will as he blurts out, “Drinks sometime? Would- uh- would you wanna get drinks sometime?”

And fuck-fuck- SHIT- what are you doing Dasilva? What the fuck?

Race considers him for a moment, “Not that I wouldn’t hit that,” he nods to Albert’s body and Albert flushes.  Damnit with the flushing!  He’s 26, not some flouncy high schooler, “But I don’t think that’s a good idea, detective.”

Albert nods, “No, yeah, honestly I don’t know why I asked- uh-”

“Relax, don’t have an aneurysm, it’s okay.  I just don’t think it’s a good idea right now.”

“No no, you’re right.  Absolutely.”

There’s another pause, then Race smiles apologetically, “I gotta go get the rest of my groceries.  Take care.”

Albert cringes internally at how fucking painfully awkward this exchange has been, “You too,” he says, watching Race retreat to the wine aisle.  He takes another moment to gather himself, then goes to the checkout line.

XXX

Albert turns up the volume on his TV, pleased with the quiet solitude of his apartment for the night.  He doesn’t love living alone, but it’s been a long couple days and he’s been looking forward to a night to himself since he’d woken up that morning.  Just him, some thai, and the Animal Planet playing reruns of ‘It’s Me or the Dog’ all night.  Fucking self care.

He’s just yelling at some dog owner on the TV for feeding his pug 24 eggs a day and watching as Victoria Stilwell chews out the greasy fucker when his phone rings on the coffee table in front of him. 

Groaning, Albert mutes the show and chugs down a few sips of beer, before picking up the phone and answering with an annoyed, “Someone better be dying.”

There’s silence on the other end and Albert pulls the phone away from his ear to check the caller ID.  It’s Spot.  Shit, someone might actually be dying.”

“Spot?  Everything okay?”

Spot sounds sheepish when he says, “Well no one’s dying, technically…”

“But…”

“There was another murder.”

“Shit.”

-

Race went straight home after the bodega, right? RIGHT!??!? stay tuned ;)

thanks saph for ‘pop spotcket’

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

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[hockeytrashgoblin]

High ~Part 12

A/N: This is the last part of this tonight but just wait because I have some other things to post too lmao. I have so much I’m so sorry I’m such a goblin that hordes writing like this when I get sad.

It was about a month later and things had gone a little more normal. Ema was still allowed to come see Gray but Brian stayed at Auston's. I knew Ema had nothing to do with it. She'd never do anything to risk never seeing Grayson again, she loved him too much.

As Mitch expected Freddie had a long talk with Auston. Mitch also had a talk with Auston and so did Ema. The general consensus was that he stuck up for me with his dad and that he didn't think of how a signed jersey would come across. He was dumb. We knew this.

Mitch and I had given the shirt to a little boy in the hospital with brain cancer. He was really small for being 6 because of the chemo on top of him being small anyway so the toddler jersey fit him perfectly. He had loved the gift and I felt a lot of satisfaction in giving it to him and brightening up the little guy's day.

Everything was getting back to normal just in time to be wrecked again by two new babies. I was thinking a lot about how things were gonna change with more kids as Mitch and Grayson were sleeping on me. We had started taking family naps because my boys liked to feel the babies move around. So there I was, the first one awake, sandwiched by Mitch on my right and Gray on the left. It was my favourite spot to be these days.

I felt Mitch stir beside me and blink awake. He smiled wide and put his hand on my tummy where a baby was moving.

"Morning sunshine." I said running my hand through his hair.

"Mornin baby." 

"You feel the babies?"

"Yeah there's one right beside me. Kicking me in the head. I love it. I love you. I can't wait to meet them."

"You're so sweet baby. I love you too."

"Oh year clear your schedule tonight babe. We're going on a date."

"Well I waaaas going to watch a  beach bargain hunt marathon but I suppose I can do that another night."

"Sorry to disrupt your big plans love but this is worth it I promise. I want to go out with you again before the babies get here."

"Don't be sorry lovey. I'd love to go on a date with you. How fancy do I need to get?"

"You can wear whatever you want. I'm gonna be in a button down shirt with some nice jeans. You wear what you like. We'll be outside for a bit though so keep that in mind."

"Mitchy it's April!"

"Yeah but the snow is gone. It'll be only a little cold."

"I'm still on board babe you don't need to convince me." 

"Okay good." He gave me a kiss and we just cuddled together for a while. Mitch was happy to just lay there for hours with his hands on my belly. It was really sweet. Eventually Grayson woke up though so cuddle time was over.

"Hi baby."

"Hey little man, how was the nap?"

"It was good daddy. The baby kicked me."

"Do you want to make a fun craft with me today?" I asked him trying to tame his wild hair.

"Yeah! What kind of craft?"

"A new one. We haven't done this one before."

"Let's go right now!" He said jumping on the bed.

"Okay honey let's go."

I got up with no help from Mitch who was dying laughing watching me struggle with my giant tummy. I brought Gray downstairs and started getting the supplies out. Once I was done I put Grayson in his booster seat so he could reach the table and I sat beside him.

"What are we doing mommy?"

"Well grandma made some little ocean onesies for the babies and I thought we could colour them in together. There's four so pick two that you want to do."

"I want the poptopus."

"That's octopus love. Octopus."

"Octopus. I forgot." He said giggling making me smile.

"Which other one do you want to do?"

"I want to do  free Willy!"

"Okay so you get octopus and the whale, and I get jellyfish and the seahorse?"

"Yes!"

"Okay here are the markers. It's just like your colouring books. Do whatever you want. Sound good?"

"Yeah!"

We coloured together for a long time. Mitch had left for practice so it was just me and my boy drawing together with some music in the background. I had finished my jellyfish and gray was done with the orca. He wanted free willy to look like free willy so he was only one colour.

"Are you colouring one special for each one?"

"Octopus is for Marly."

"So Willy is for baby brother?"

"Yup. What's his name gonna be?"

"We haven't decided yet. It's a big job naming a person ya know."

"How come?"

"It's just that they'll have their names forever. You want it to be a good one."

"Oh okay." He was quiet for a while before he asked, "When will the babies get here?"

"In a little while. Pretty soon actually. The doctor thinks they're going to come early even."

"I hope so. I can't wait."

"Me neither Gray. I'm very excited to meet them."

We kept colouring until Mitch came back home with William.

"Hey guys what's going on?"

"Uncle Willy!! We're colouring for the babies, look!" 

"Wow Gray you've done a really great job!"

"Thanks."

"Are you ready to come stay with me tonight?"

"Yeah!"

"We can eat pizza and ice cream and watch movies while mommy and daddy have boring adult time. Sound like a plan?"

"It's a plan!" He said giving William high ten.

"I think Mitchy packed a bag already." I said getting up. Mitch and Gray went upstairs to get him ready.

"Jeeez babes you're giant!"

"Thanks William I really needed that today." I said punching his shoulder.

"I'm just kidding (y/n)."

"The doctor thinks the babies are gonna be huge."

"Not good news for you."

"Meh I'm not too concerned. My body is built to do it."

"You excited for your last date for a while?"

"I am excited yeah. I don't know what we're doing or what I'm going to wear. I dont even know if I have anything nice that still fits. Aw man I'm gonna look like a slob for Mitchy." I whined.

"No you won't. You'll look beautiful and you'll have an amazing time. I promise you."

"I hope so. I've been really nervous lately about that. I feel like I've let myself go and Mitch is going to think I'm ugly and gross."

"Hun, you don't have to worry about that at all. He talks about you constantly. About how beautiful you are and about how he loves you more every day."

"That's crazy."

"He really loves you."

"I love him too. So much. Will I never thought I'd be so in love with someone."

"I'm happy for you." He gave me a hug as the boys came back in. "You ready to go little man?"

"Yeah let's go."

"Can I have a hug bye love?"

"Of course mommy." He ran over and hugged me tight. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and then patted my belly. "Bye bye babies."

"Bye Grayson."

"Love you mommy. Love you daddy." He said going to give Mitch a hug and kiss too.

"Bye buddy. We'll see you tomorrow morning okay?"

"Okay. Bye daddy. Bye mommy." He said dragging William towards the door. I started cleaning up our craft supplies and I heard Mitch talking to William.

"He needs to be in bed by 8:30. That's giving him an extra hour and a half after bedtime. If you feed him after 6 give him something a little healthy. (Y/n/n) prefers it. Also if anything happens call, we'll answer-"

"Marner, we're good. You guys enjoy your night. Good luck man."

"I hope it goes well."

"It will. You've got this." They were quiet for a minute before William spoke again. "Bye (y/n) have fun!"

"Bye boys! See you tomorrow."

I heard the door close and Mitch can in. He stood in the doorway for a minute watching before coming in and wrapping his arms around me from behind. Not an easy task with my giant tummy but he managed. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and I smiled leaning back against him.

"What did you guys do today?"

"We drew these for the babies." I said laying them out. "I just need to put them in the dryer to lock in the markers because I can't be bothered to iron them. Then they'll be baby ready."

"These are so cute."

"Gray made that one for Marly and this one for baby boy."

"Who are yours for?"

"Either one, I don't really care. I think I'm going to bring his to the hospital as babies first outfits. With the hats he picked out."

"I like that idea."

"Just another little thing that can really make Gray know he's part of this too."

"I love it. You're so thoughtful in everything you do. I just can't believe how lovely you are."

"Mitchy stoop." 

"Never." He turned me around and gave me one kiss which led into multiple kisses. "Okay no time for this right now. We need to go get dressed for our date."

"Okay." I gave him one last kiss and we made our way up into the big closet. I started looking through my clothes that still fit while Mitch got dressed in the room. He came in looking hot as ever and it made me feel even more nervous.

"What's wrong babe? You look sad."

"I'm gonna look ugly and embarrass you." I said sadly as a tear slipped out.

"Hey love, no you won't. I think you look absolutely gorgeous."

"Even with a giant bump?"

"Especially with the giant bump." He kissed my forehead and started looking through my clothes. "How about the blue dress you wore for the maternity pictures last week? That'll still fit right?"

"I hope so. Thank you Mitchy."

"You're welcome baby. Now get dressed and we'll be out of here."

I was lucky that the dress still fit. I was also lucky Mitch didn't get a car that was low to the ground because there'd be no way I'd get out of that. We drove a little ways to a nice restaurant we liked. The dinner wasn't very eventful. We talked a lot about hockey, a lot about Gray and how we're going to still give him attention with the babies. We talked about ourselves too and how we felt which was a nice change. After dinner we were walking around a small park near the arena talking more about the babies.

"We really need to decide a name lovey. It's getting so close."

"It's not that close. May 26th is still pretty far yet."

"Baby please be serious."

"I'm still really liking Dexter."

"I've been thinking about Dexter a lot too. Pretty much as soon as you said it I loved it."

"So let's call him Dexter. Dexter Joseph Marner. It's perfect."

"It is perfect. I love it. Baby Dexter and baby Marly. So precious."

"I'm glad we decided." He said swinging our hands. "Let's go inside and warm up a bit."

"Are we allowed?" I hadn't even noticed that we were at the arena until he was opening the door.

"Course we are. Come on."

"Where are we going Mitchy?"

"To the family room, come on." He dragged me all through the arena until we got there. Once we did he stood with me in the middle of the room.

"What's going on Mitchy?" I asked smiling at him softly.

"This is where I first met you. Where I first laid eyes on you. I heard you laughing and joking with Willy and my heart beat faster. I didn't ever even let myself get my hopes up that you'd ever have feelings for me. Then you got with Auston and I hated how you got so quiet and hidden away. Then you guys were off and you were your normal self again. Then you were back on and it hurt so bad seeing you taken by someone who really didn't appreciate you at all."

"Mitchy I'm sorry-"

"Babe let me finish please?"

"Okay sorry go ahead." I said giggling making him laugh and kiss me quick.

"Anyway then you guys were off again and you had little Gray in your belly. I wanted to be around constantly for both of you as whatever you needed. Then I kissed you and you kissed me and it all just blossomed into this amazing beautiful relationship. And now we're making our family bigger. I've never been happier than I am now."

"I never thought I'd be this happy Mitch. I mean that."

"I'm so in love with this family we're making. And I'm so in love with the way our life together is going. And most of all I am so, so, so in love with you (y/n)."

"Mitchy you're going to make me cry. I love you." I kissed him again and wiped my eyes when we broke apart.

"I guess there's just one more sappy sentimental thing left that I need to say." He lowered himself down to one knee and I started crying.

"Mitchy."

"(Y/n), you're my best friend in the whole world, the love of my life, and the mother of my children." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a box.

"Mitchy. Oh my God." I wiped my eyes and laughed as he opened the velvet box.

"Will you now please, please, please be my wife?"

"Yes. Yes! Mitchy of course! Yes!" He slid the ring on my finger while I cried into my hand. "God I love you more than I could ever express."

"I love you." He smiled and kissed me. It didn't work out great since we were both smiling and crying but it was the best feeling in the world. "I'm so glad you said yes."

"You thought I'd say no?!" I asked shocked.

"Well I thought you'd say yes because you've said you want to spend your life with me but we never talked about getting married."

"Lovey I would never think twice about promising myself to you forever in front of everyone. You're it Mitchy."

"I'm so happy."

"Me too."

"Let's head home. As sweet as this moment is, I really want to go home and spend the night with you. But first. I want to take a picture of you."

"But Mitch I look like a mess, I've been crying."

"Just cover your face with your left hand then. I think you've never glowed brighter the whole time I've known you. You're beautiful.

"Fine take the picture."

He did and he posted it on our way back to the car. I got a notification from Instagram and opened it to find me with a caption that said. 'April 29th 2020 she said yes'. It was simple but it was perfect and I told him that much. As we drove home I was floating so high in the clouds I didn't think I'd ever come down.

[taylorseyelashes]

Posting this on all of my social medias so please read:

Yesterday, my sister and my Dad went up to the stable in the morning to check on the horses, thankfully and as normal, they were all fine. BUT, my sister's horse (Biscuit) had been moved into the field with my other sister's horse (Bow).

Biscuit came down with laminitas a few days prior, so he was on box rest, with access to the yard so he could stretch his legs.

Now, laminitas is a serious disease that can kill horses. Laminitas is in simple terms makes a horse lame when it digests too much sugary grass. Biscuit was on box rest, so that he couldn't eat anymore grass, now let me be clear, he had plenty of hay and water, as well as a salt lick.

DO NOT move other people's horses! It is extremely dangerous, and DO NOT feed them either! DO NOT break into people's stables and touch their horses.

1. You have no idea of the temperament of that horse, it could bite, it could kick, and personally, I don't want to see a random dead body when I go to the stable in the morning.

2. Feeding that horse could give it serious complications, it could be allergic, it could have laminitas, it could give it colic, and the horse could become spiteful and greedy, and not give the owner an easy time when it comes to catching, tacking up and generally being around the animal.

3. Horses can be easily spooked and confused, and a random stranger breaking in and moving it, stroking it etc can scare them

4. It's not your fucking property. Horses are not yours to touch, they are not yours to feed and they sure as Hell are not yours to move around and play with.

Leave other people's animals the fuck alone!

And moving swiftly on, don't fucking flytip outside my god damn stable. Just don't fly tip anywhere! Nobody wants your old appliances and pieces of shattered glass outside their property.

We managed to find an address in amongst the rubbish, and it was the address of a caravan park. Now, I have a few things to say about this also...

1. I don't know if you're dense or just don't give a shit about anyone's health, but we are still having around 100 deaths a day due to coronavirus. I know you City people God damn love the countryside, but it's our home. It's farmers home. Farmers who have livestock that they have to tend to all hours of the day, and if they get sick, then congratulations, you've killed a bunch of animals and ruined someone's career. DONT move to second homes in the countryside, just don't do it you're putting so many people in danger.

2. (Now I don't know how to say this without being offensive, apparently Gypsies prefer being called Gypsies to Travellers, but if I've used offensive language, I'll be more than happy to change it.)

Look after your animals. Where I live, two horses were tied to a pole at a petrol station all day, with no food, and no water. Look after them, they're not just creatures that you can use for your own gain, and then ignore whenever you feel like it.

And the final thing I want to say - which I'm guessing will apply to even less people than what I've already said has, but listen up, because this could be you one day.

If you're driving along open moorland, for example Dartmoor, DRIVE SLOWLY. There are wild animals roaming around, in the road, by the side of the road, on pedestrian paths etc. Respect them, drive SLOWLY around them, don't touch them and don't feed them.

Wild horses are not to be touched or fed. Now I know it's tempting, but those animals are not tame, and they could kill you, they could smash your car window and climb into the front seat. They could follow you into the road and get themselves hit. Of course you can admire them from afar, but leave them alone, they're not yours to touch.

Moving on, when you see a horse and rider, also slow down. I had some pretty nasty experiences with my young horse on Saturday when I was up on open moorland. Now my horse is young, spooky and open land is pretty new to him. For every car that sped past, he would break into canter, or rear up and spin around, putting me and him in danger.

The other week, I had to get off my horse to open a gate next to a cattle grid, whilst I was going through the gate, some test zoomed over the cattle grid, which caused my horse to spook, and jolt the reins out of my hand - he then went trotting up the road and I had to rub after him. Thankfully, there were some people on a walk who could catch him before he died.

And I know middle aged men think they can drive as fast as they want past horses because 'we don't pay road tax' or some bollocks like that. Just shut the fuck up and respect other people, a lot of equestrians are children! And horses are seriously dangerous creatures, you could KILL both the horse and the rider by driving too fast, or honking your horn. Just have some moral decency and slow the Hell down.

Okay I think I'm done, thank you for reading, and please take these things into account x

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 7 - Meat Page 26

==>

Back on to Jade swimming into the singularity or something.  (And trying to stop thinking that maybe Candy ends with a giant polyamorous relationship and/or orgy, because I don’t imagine Rose would have acted so tamely if that’s what she saw.)

Yes, Time is the complement of Space, that was already confirmed in comic if it wasn’t super incredibly obvious all along anyway.

Gah, I’m getting stomach cramps again.

Yeah, too much Space makes Time invisible and vice versa? Or...

Maybe Dave broke her heart a little, and he keeps doing it too, no matter how many different timelines they try out.

D:

God damnit these CRAMPS.  Reading further.

Like a garden, where Jade used to spend so much of her time with her hands in the earth and her head in the clouds, dreaming about flowers that bloomed in six colors and grew when she played them a song. Was that real? It’s hard to tell. But it made her happy, didn’t it?

FUCK are you going to start making me doubt the reality of the liFe we saw her living early in-comic?????  Cut it out, it’s unsettling!

Alright, alt!Callie is taking the reins from Dirk on this narrative he so smugly thought he could completely consume.  That’s good/bad.

slutty adult Jade

FUCKING YIKES!! FUCK YOU DIRK!

FUCK I DIDN’T NEED HER DEATH DESCRIBED IN SUCH DETAIL EITHER.  Also alt!Callie’s really embodying Death here.

==>

Pff.  Calliope’s writing the story now, in a sense, like she always kind of wanted.

Also pff, this version of her doesn’t know how to describe human stuff colorfully.  :)

An adversarial dichotomy between your opposing goals, huh?  This might end up as a “none of us can really write the ending” ending that DOES leave it up in the air for everyone else to decide instead.

Fuck, now you’re having THIS Jade suffer by proxy by experiencing the other Jade’s memories.  This metatextual ascension’s happening to everyone isn’t it.

Yeah, she’s done it before and stuff--

when jade turns to look at roxy, her eyes are completely black.

FUCK.

my presence shall mitigate, if not altogether subdue, the corrosive effect on reality and the will of its occupants by those who would manipulate the way events are telegraphed for their own megalomaniacal objectives.

Well, fuck.  Jade’s been temporarily hijacked for the rest of the story AGAIN, like back in Condesce days, this time as a plot device to keep Dirk from overreaching with his god powers and stepping over everyone’s wills like an Ultimate Riddle style villain.  Dirk, I mean.  Being the villain.  And alt!Callie just doing what she has to to put this back on track.  Man I HATE it when Jade’s will doesn’t get to be on full display.  Her will is awesome.  (Also, alt!Callie just tacitly confirmed that the will of reality’s occupants matters, if that wasn’t obvious already, so ha.)

despite his pretensions to a greater design, the prince of heart cannot be allowed to continue to exert unchecked control over the authoritative recitation of events on this side of my horizon. it cannot be overstated the extent to which he represents a threat to the continued existence of both this world and corporeal life itself.

Yeah, it was indeed looking that way earlier.

Ooh, alt!Callie is really spot-on with her pronoun use.

Alright, Dirk’s voice is shrinking away, and my stomach still feels half-clenched.

Wow, alt!Callie’s really mad at what Dirk’s been doing with this epilogue.

==>

“EPILOGUE FIVE”?????

Did I miss the titles for one, three, and four??? Yeah there were probably there and I just missed them or something.

Pfffff, John looks/smells like shit.  :D

...too fresh??

Fuck you John for thinking Monty Python and the Holy Grail isn’t a masterpiece.  :P

terezi tips her head to one side, with what john personally regards as a cute expression, one he believes is unique to her. whether he’s correct or not, it’s his belief that there is no one else who emotes in this manner. it’s both quizzical and mocking, two descriptors that he considers to be an apt summation of her personality as well.

Niiiiice.  Nice linguistic description of her “>:?” expression.

have no desire to interject thoughts into others’ minds, or to sway intent. nor do i see value in masking the reality of the emotions that i transcribe. this is how he feels. his mind, however, has made a habit of being less clear about his thoughts than i am willing to be.

Oh thank fucking god, I don’t have to question everyone’s thoughts anymore.  Until Dirk comes back or something, I dunno.

Oh my fucking god, alt!Callie, you total voyeuristic nerd.

he fears he is in danger of seeming like the type of creepy human male who is likely to collect large pillows bearing the illustrated images of japanese earth females. to me, this idea means nothing. but it is causing him to sweat.

This is one very relatable snippet of text.

Feed Terezi Feed Terezi Feed Terezi

WHY is the gold tooth poisonous???????  ...Wait, Caliborn affixed it to his mouth intentionally.  He had every right and motive to make it poisonous for no good reason.  Ugh.

Beep beep, let’s find Vriska.

==>

WHAT

WHAT JANE

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING

JESUS

Using Trickster Mode as a drug to further one’s political performance.  That’s fucking horrifying.  No wonder it was on the triggers list.

additionally, it prevents one from dwelling on any given personal problems, or the greater implications of any political statements one might make.

Pff, mhmm.

Problematic, huh?  Jane seems like the slightly-old-fashioned sort of person who thinks it’s getting kind of ridiculously silly how much people are caring about stuff being “problematic”.  And yet that stuff DOES matter, and ignoring it DOES hurt people, and she not only isn’t seeing that but is drugging herself to see it LESS with that goddamned lollipop.  Holy shit.

she turns around promptly, her body jolted by the surprise of her sudden reversal. she bends over, cradles the lollipop reverentially, and situates it carefully in a place signifying respect: atop the mantle, after clearing space for it by shoving several brittle, worthless objects to the floor.

PFFF.  Okay, so alt!Callie ISN’T above altering characters slightly from their narrative course when it comes to one of the few things she deems important.  Heh.

Having “his control of a shared vehicle fully suppressed”, huh?  Does alt!Callie only mean the narrative, or maybe Rose too with whatever weird bullshit he did to her?

Uh, “while the seer both diminishes and ascends”???  D:

--Oh, oh shit.  He was planning to NARRATIVE CONTROL Jake into going along with things.  D: D:

Yeah, Jake would want to bang all the aliens, really.

Sendificator rifle, or something like that.  Got it.

==>

How fucking long is this epilogue, anyway?????  I mean, the length is appropriate from an objective point of view, I’m just frustrated because I’m going to have to spend every waking hour liveblog-reading it until I’ve reached the end or I’m likely to fucking explode, and I didn’t want this to be my entire day/weekend/existence again AAGH HOMESTUCK YOU BLACK HOLE

anyway yaay karkat in a suit.

Alluding to assassination attempts?  What, is that red rifle going to try and fulfill that old “through the silver screen and straight into my heart” unused foreshadowing-herring from act six, or five, or whenever it was? Five, I believe.

Pff, super pacs, yeah.  Dave’s nearly as political as me now or something.  Except he actually acts on it here instead of just sitting around talking about it and thinking he’s right all the time, like me.

Wait, JANE ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH with smearing Jake??!???  Holy shit she’s lost touch.

KARKAT: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SUBJECT MATTER FOR PRODUCING CAMPAIGN ADS! KARKAT: NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT POINTS YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE! DAVE: yeah its awesome

Pfffff.

...yeah, Jake isn’t thinking of ANYTHING except Dirk right now, really.

Oh huh, Dirk HAS been as controlling of Jake as he used to be, now that alt!Callie’s pointing it out.  Just with an even more insidious mechanism.

Oh cool, Karkat’s version of the policy pitch!  :D :D :D  Can’t wait can’t wait reading

(dont lie karkat you totally know shes hot)

Pff, stop making it seem obvious that Dirk wanted to assassinate Jake for political purposes.  Heck, even if that WAS his plan it’d just be a temporary death that he’d resurrect from and then they’d try to turn it into... what, some media spin on how Karkat might have been responsible? Or a troll?? That latter part would make things MUCH more xenophobic.  I’m starting to get seriously into the politics of this.

==>

Pff, now ‘rezi’s eating tobacco.

...okay, is Terezi REALLY going to go for a real conversation with just an honest ask for one?  I don’t think so--

--aaand there she goes laughing, as expected.  At least at first.

Yep, Terezi’s wearing the shoes.  Nice date gift.

--And yep, Terezi remembers all that.  She managed to do the nigh-metatextual mind merge with her other selves WITHOUT even needing God-Tier.

Yeah, Vriska always seemed fit to abandon the kismesis you deserved when it suited her, ‘rezi.  :(

JOHN: even worse, i might have tried to fix things MYSELF! TEREZI: OH D34R GOD JOHN: yeah!!!

Yeah I cackled out loud at that.

TEREZI: 34RTH C 1S P3RF3CT 1SNT 1T? TEREZI: BUT NOT FOR YOU TEREZI: YOU DONT *F33L* 1T

john swallows a thick breath. he reminds himself that he never wanted perfection, never asked for it. and yet he feels guilty every day for failing to enjoy it as much as he believes he was supposed to.

Holy shit.  John’s survivor’s guilt from all the doomed timelines he witnessed and escaped is keeping him from feeling their victory has been real, and making his “squandering” of it gut his self-esteem too.  God damnit.

Roxy and John wouldn’t have worked out????? Hey Terezi, quit it! >:[  That’s not fair, just very plausibly and authoritatively dismissing a ship we’d hoped for offscreen like--  Oh, shit, she’s alluding to something that happened in the Candy side I haven’t read isn’t she.  She would DEFINITELY have an idea of what happened on the other side of that Choice Split with her hero role.  Fuck what am I in for

....pfff, that Callie vs Dirk bit.  It’s like revenge against Doc Scratch, which it kind of IS, really.

I didn’t expect this much time to be spent dwelling on really intimate John/Terezi scenes.  It’s really refreshing!  Making this kind of meaningful no matter whether it’s black or inexplicably red they end up with or whatever, and equally meaningful if they don’t end up in any sort of relationship at all, really.

even without the aid of a juju, he is fortunate enough to be blessed with the only true form of divinity. to be released from the prison of nonsensical inhibitions which so often psychologically hobble the more primitive forms of life.

Alt!Callie, are you causing this?  I thought you wanted to be impartial.

Okay, THAT finally brought things suitably closer to the black side of romance like I would have expected.

==>

their finger hovers over dirks number for a moment, but... no. that would not be a good idea. they don’t know why they suddenly think it’s a bad idea. it just is.

Okay, THAT shred of influence is fair.  You DID say you were going to countermand his influence, so yeah.

Good excuse to get narration of her thoughts, if flimsy.  :)

Lord save me from this fake woke nightmare.

Pfffff.  Fuck you, Dirk.  ;)

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

FUCK you’re going to kill JADE aren’t you???? You’re giving Jade a TEMPORARY DEATH just to deny alt!Callie’s proxy?!?? That’s fucking insidious!  Fuck you, Dirk!!! That one wasn’t a loveable joke this time, that was an ACTUAL fuck you.  This epilogue is really good at making him out to be the villain now that his powers have expanded to the narrative.

Reading reading reading...

...Huh.  Is Roxy talking about coming out as non-binary and getting advice on it?  Hm!

Alright, and she’s defs a little gay for Callie from what she’s saying if it wasn’t clear before.  If “gay” even has any relevance when you’re talking about a pair of non-binary... yeah whatever.  :)

Alright, time to hear Dave talk about it all some more I guess.

--Yep, he’s only mostly gay.  Called it.  There’s a whole spectrum.

...and yeah, I mean... why NOT let it go beyond quadrants with Karkat and never slap an official label on it?  You’re just two people who love each other and want to spend time together in any capacity, be it positive or negative.  It doesn’t have to result in anything formal unless you want it to, much less boning down or something.  Dirk, stop getting creepy with how hard you’re shipping them, that’s the fanbase’s job.

Jade and Roxy are visible from this location, right?  Wasn’t it mentioned that they live in a tower in Carapaceville or whatever?  Has Dirk successfully conned alt!Callie into having her vessel shot through?  Probably.

the ongoing corruption of his cerebrally impaired daughter.

Eewwwwweweewww

Anyway yeah here comes the plot twist or whatever...

Yeah, Callie gets it wrong, and--

......ah, a tranq?  That makes more sense and is more than slightly less evil, if still ultimately evil given his eventual presumed goals or whatever.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

FUCK YOU

Oh, Jade’s going to be asleep for the rest of the story?  AGAIN?!????  FUCK YOU SO MUCH, DIRK.

Jesus christ.  How long is this epilogue anyway.

Taken your leave?  From this planet???  What the fuck, are you--

Oh.  Oh shit.

When Dirk ascended into absorbing the memories of all his various split selves, did he get a heaping helping of DOC SCRATCH in there too???  Was Doc Scratch’s ambition actually for POST-victory ascension in this very manner? FUCK.  Either way, him sharing some of those memories puts a pretty unique spin on his descent into goddamn evil, here.

Reading on... oh shit, did Callie write the candy half??

==>

Huh, postcoital; we actually went there.  Cool.

Ah, she gives up on Vriska?  Better find Vriska really fast, then.

Oh, you’re really going? Or, trying, anyway.

==>

Really committed to this whole ascending to literal godhood schtick, aren’t you, Dirk?

(Hm.  Makes me almost think that this situation with Rose is going to end up with someone splitting her essence entirely in two to save her; her raw Seer-ness getting forced into a convenient vessel (cueball, wonk wonk) and herself returning to consciousness a slight bit more mortal than she was before, ie not going completely insane.  Hmm.)

Oh, “Vast Fuck” sorta-maybe-confirmed..??

Stop tacitly insulting Jake as you puppet him, Dirk.  He’s a dumbass but not THAT much of a dumbass.

beta-bitch

FUCK YOU, DIRK.

She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart. 

Fuuuuuuck you.

could subsume your entire personality

Shit, he IS trying to pretty much consume them all.  Swallow their individuality and take total control of all their actions.  All Prince of Heart on the whole world.  Dirk you need to fucking DIE.

And to love Dirk is to obey him.

There isn’t a Fuck You large or loud enough to what I feel about the mental violation Dirk is inflicting on Jake right now, and everyone else around him, and I sincerely and selfishly hope this epilogue is almost over because I don’t want too many pages to stand between this one and seeing Dirk fucking PAY.

Jake opens his big, dumb mouth to make the only important contribution to the plot he ever has or ever will make in his whole sad, pointless joke of a life.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU

Let’s hope that in your hubris your looking away managed to let him say something different or some such.

==>

You try to remember if you’ve ever been revived by Jane before. You honestly can’t recall. So much shit has happened. Maybe?

Yeah, I don’t recall either really.

The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.

Okay, fuck?  How the hell?  Is this just because Dirk says it is, or???

I guess it’s tragic, though maybe not in the conventional sense. My view is, the real tragedy with you, John, is that you never mattered all that much.

Yeah, Dirk’s first fucking rant when he took over the narrative officially was about John being a you-insert nobody average guy, and the DISDAIN he shows to everything about who John is is pretty goddamn insulting.  He has NO concept of how John managed to bring everyone together or... UGH!

even though you knew both then and now that it was the only choice you possibly could have made.

Dammit, so it probably WASN’T a full timeline-bisecting Mind split.  Just a side branch that wasn’t as likely, because just like with his Denizen, John’s will was tilted toward this part of the choice.  D:

I see how some of this seems to be going, or at least think I do... Dirk thinks that John needs to die heroically “for the good of the story”, and something’s potentially going to come in and say “no”?  That the whole reason they WON was to essentially be free of that cruel logic once and for all, and that Dirk is gonna get one hell of a smackdown for trying futilely to enforce it in their new post-victory domain??

She listens to him bleed while she smells him die.

--That, and fulfilling bits of foreshadowing for shits and giggles.  >:(

Huh, “friable”, didn’t even know that was a word.  Just looked it up; you learn something new every day.

Okay what is Dirk planning with the fucking body.

==>

Jane swept the election, of course. I told you I was going to win. After Jake’s incoherent and scandalous heel-turn at Karkat’s ill-fated rally, no amount of esoteric, three-dimensional jpeg artefacts could have salvaged the Vantas campaign. 

Ah, but is that what REALLY happened, or what you’re saying happened, about to be overwritten?

Mainly that their BFF Jade has been in a coma for an entire month. They’ve been in and out of the hospital handling her affairs. Her next of kin is listed as John Egbert, and no one’s seen him in ages. It’s like he just disappeared suddenly. Like some great hand came out of the sky and crossed his name off the big list of guys we ever need to give a shit about anymore.

F U C K  Y O U

Roxy, after all, and since her big heart-to-heart about the personal politics of queer onion metaphors, and ten stages of galaxy-braining through the many vicissitudes of the phrase “no homo,” Roxy has decided to really step up her gender experimentation. I guess at this point she’s gone beyond Stage Ten. Which I imagine is somewhat like reaching Super Saiyan 2 of gender, and then going even further beyond.

Holy crap, she’s going full Dave Lalonde.  That’s pretty sweet.

...Isn’t Terezi like obviously covered in blood and stuff?

ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

Oh my fucking GOD real!Callie please save the plot.  Nuke this self-indulgent Dirkshit.

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

...This is an allusion to the Candy side I haven’t read, isn’t it?  Maybe THAT’s part of what she supplants this bullshit with.  Or since it mentions “various combinations”, she’s restoring the possibility to everything that the ending was supposed to have?

This is potentially a real fucking indictment of the idea of a narrative-driven ending when what actually mattered was the characters’ escape from said narrative.  :)

ROXY: its like theyre traumatized ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me

Okay fuck maybe Callie ISN’T helping.  Maybe she’s just so worried about the alternate history she could have lead that she’s retreating into every Candy-like fanfic she can think of.  :(

What’s with the phone buzz?  The intervention we’ve been hoping for, since Dirk’s making her ignore it?

Oh cool, figures Terezi’s been hearing the narrative all along and just politely not acknowledging the fact that she hears it!  Maybe SHE’LL help unfuck this mess.  (And according to her, Roxy’s gone full “him” too!)

Fuck fuck fuck Terezi don’t listen to him go against his bullshit instead

Where, canon? Is that where you’re planning to escape back to or some such, with yourself as the author? Is that orange Andrew actually you or some BS?

Dammit.

==>

FUCK, “new body”????

The new body I’ve made for her won’t have much use for her usual ensembles. That’s all I was saying.

FUCK FUCK FUCK it IS the cueball isn’t it.  Holy shit.  That’s even worse than a robot.  FZUCZK

Okay calm down.  The Rose part of Rose can be cut away and rescued from this fate somehow, if she isn’t just whole-hog rescued entirely which would also be good.  FUCK DIRK

...look purple? What?

DIRK: What’s happening here is the best thing for everybody.

Yeah, go fuck yourself.  This shit had better be undone soon.

To finally face the truth. If Rose has been spending more time with me than you, if she’s realizing she resonates more with me due to our natural similarities and finds my presence more rewarding than yours, then what does that say about YOU, Kanaya?

PFFFF. YOU’RE GONNA BREAK UP THE PAIRING JUST SO YOU CAN STEAL HER?  HAHAHAHAHAHA NO.

Okay, after THAT page’s last bit of horrid manipulation, this can’t end in any way that doesn’t involve ages of existential and literal torment for Dirk, forever.

==>

Epilogue Seven, huh.  One last thing he wants to take care of before getting out of dodge, huh.  I see Karkat and Dave’s text colors on screen.  Is he going to try to force them to finally bone down or confess?  This would be the perfect place for his plan to get fucking stopped.

Homestuck, stop making my fucking stomach clench so hard.

That’s a hell of a disaster Dirk thought up for these guys on that stage.

Part of this whole shitshow might be to tell us that this ending, this “fanfic” of dubious authenticity of an epilogue that Dirk is giving us is how DIRK believes it would end best for everyone involved, but not how everyone else would, ignoring their wills... while also discarding the idea of the epilogue that any individual reader of Homestuck would want in favor of the possibilities he meant to leave open with the ending.

Alright, here comes Dirk NOT forcing them to bone down but rather trying to persuade-brainwash them into a relationship talk.

DAVE: so what youre saying is you believe in me who believes in you

Dave. Please.

Hey, the Gurren Lagaan reference went WAY too long unsaid.  Even if Andrew literally didn’t know a thing about said anime when he made the character designs.

I look Dave right in his mind’s eye and tell him to cut it the fuck out. He wants it, you want it, so just go for it, my man. It’s now or never.

DAVE: oh DAVE: same

I feel every brain cell in my immortal body begin to perish in real time.

BAAHAHAHAAHHhahahha FUCK YOU Dirk.

I mean, I want Dave and Karkat together as much as the next guy but FUUUUUUUCK YOU DIRK!!! I want everything you ever wanted to go wrong and shit on you.  Their equivocating soft-nearly-mance is strong enough to go even against you, who thinks yourself the narrative fucking Sun.

Oh this is fantastic

I’ve literally been decapitated and that was less unbearable than this.

YES KEEP FALLING APART

You see that twinkle? That’s devotion, you unbelievably dense neutron star of a dumbshit.

Nice callback to... what was it, Dave’s first rant at Tavros to troll him back or whatever?

radially effervescing kaleidoscope of more hot boy peckers than you could ever imagine.

Yep, DEFINITELY a callback to that. I’ll never forget the sick flow of that metaphor.

DAVE: i just keep having thoughts i know id never think

SAVE US DAVE

Dammit, near miss.

The privilege of a Strider Eye Moment is about the most earth-shattering experience a young man will ever have in his life. 

Pfff

DAVE: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD AND JUST LET ME DO THIS MYSELF!!!

yaaaaaayyy

I mean we didn’t save the whole story yet but at least Dirk got fucked over and we still get Davekat intimacy.

That’s pretty classy actually, not getting into detail and just sounding blown the fuck away by it even though he’s Dirk.  That’s pretty good.

==>

Something about the height of Rose, roughly Rose-shaped, and wrapped in a cloth. I know she’s gonna love it the first time she sees it.

Oh so it IS a robot body.  Well, fuck you a little less than it potentially being the magic cueball, but STILL fuck you.

I may have already mentioned, but I’m a bit too deft at this for my own good. Doing the thing where I tug at the part of someone’s latent thought process that already knows they adore me. That if someone would just pull the stops from their sense of inhibition, they’d realize they would do anything for me.

It’s called killing their soul with your role abilities you ASSHOLE

I hope this crush you filled him with bites you in the fucking ass now that he’s here.

DIRK: I won’t be coming back, Jake.

Oh, so you’re just going to drop the truth on him like that? Let’s see how that works out for you, asshole.

DIRK: Jane needs you now more than ever.

Oh fuck you.  This is “best for everyone”, huh?????

DIRK: You’ll just be, you know. DIRK: Her candy boy? JAKE: CANDY BOY??? DIRK: Yeah. Being on call. DIRK: Serving a multimillion-year term of giving her the right kind of “presidential action” she needs to keep going. To keep her morale up and such. DIRK: To provide her with many heirs. DIRK: Doesn’t that sound cool? JAKE: HEIRS??

Um.  What the fuck?  Is this even Dirk anymore?  It’s not Condesce intervention, I’m not going to try and suspect that just from the callback or anythiiiii-----

Fuck, we DID just get an alive Meenah dropped into a universe somewhere.

Maybe this IS Condesce intervention. Just a different Condesce.  o_O

Two ticks longer than he ever deserved.

Gah???

DIRK: But I’ll never let you break my heart again.

So this was all just revenge for dumping him??????????????

==>

Guh, back to Kanaya-- wait, why does Dirk want Terezi around, anyway?

Jade wakes up and then-- Okay. Okay my eyes flitted down to the green halfway down the page and I saw this phrase before I actually got to it.

JADE: DIRK STRIDER HAS TO BE STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!

Thank FUCK.

Anyway reading the in-between...

The scope of her awareness, she now understands, is truly staggering. Memories are suddenly accessible that are almost impossible to believe. Some of them are unspeakably marvelous to her. Others, deeply disturbing.

FUCKING COOL she got Ultimate-Selved!  Now she knows too much about what’s going on to stop her!  Get fucked, Dirk!!!!

No, more than just disturbing. She lingers in the dark recesses of her consciousness. There were things she saw, things she was told... Her mouth twists into a silent snarl. She’s been angry plenty of times before. But never so angry that she stopped being cute. She’s not cute this time.

YEAAAAAHHH JADE GET ANGRY

This had better not be Dirk intentionally riling her up since he still has control of the narrative though.

Next post.

[lilsqueakers]

I love the scholarly sunday post! So what conclusions can be drawn based on those studies, like regarding ideal litter size or level of human intervention when breeding rats?

Yay! I’m so glad! 

Honestly I think a lot can be gathered from it! 

So- for starters, I think a lot of people think handling babies is a good thing, but I think it needs a heavy balance favoring more mom time. Of course, as breeders we shouldn’t be taming down rats at all, but I dont think it’s correct to assume that we have to be COMPLETELY hands off as well!

Mom needs her time to do that good sweet sweet epigenetics grooming/caring/communicating, but we also need to be hands on to make sure that these animals are getting the appropriate amount of food. be that upping mommas supplements to allow her to stay healthy while she feeds a large..ish.. litter or having to make some hard decisions to bring that litter number down.

Which can be hard, but if it’s for the stability of those animals? Then it’s a needed one. 

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

Chat Conversations

(for Lexy!)

Jo and Anna talking (seemingly before the binding and collar sections):

<Jo> http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1q0h6mZYM1qaqwxto1_500.gif Jo saw and felt the need to share/for nonfeelings one from that bet a while back

<Anna> hehe

<Anna> “are you saying you miss me?”

<Jo> “Miss. Miss is such a strange word, could mean lots of things..”

<Anna> “I didn’t hear a gun so I assume that you didn’t miss me that way.”

<Jo> “Maybe I was going old school. If I was missing you that way. Why do you ask? Did you want me to be saying I miss you?”

<Anna> “Defensive much?”

<Jo> “More like curious.”

<Anna> “What would you say if I said looking back at some of this has made me miss you.”

<Jo> “I might say that I’d agree.”

<Anna> “wow..we’re agreeing.”

<Jo> “Not exactly that uncommon… …No, actually thats sort of a lie”

<Anna> *Anna laughs*

<Jo> “It’s even more uncommon that we’re not fighting. Nice, even.”

<Anna> “I agree, it’s nice. Those are the best memories, when we weren’t fighting.”

<Jo> “Most definitely. Or when it was just pointless bickering that didn’t go out of our mucking about with it.”

<Anna> “You mean like you trying to get in my pants.”

<Jo> “Rather when I was kidding about it. Was still right about that bra.”

<Anna> *Anna smirks teasing* “I missed that banter and your frustration”

<Jo> “… Same. Though I dont really miss the frustration.” *Jo grins back*

<Anna> “But you were so cute”

<Jo> “Oh screw you, I was frustrated. That and you never did believe me about that kind of stuff.”

<Anna> “What kind of stuff and frustration made you cute.”

<Jo> “Frustration does not make me cute! And the kind of stuff like if you wore some weirdly angelic white lacey number.”

<Anna> *Anna smiles* “Yes frustration does make you cute. You’re cute now. And you don’t have to worrry about the lacey stuff. I rarely wear a bra now.”

<Jo> “it does not! I am not cute, in any form be it normally or frustrated or what. And I’m… glad to hear you’re embracing my take on the world. Less things to get in the way.”

<Anna> “Totally cute.”

<Jo> “God dammit..”

<Anna> *Anna giggles madly*

<Jo> *Shakes head staring, starting to smile again after a second* “Either nostalgia has gone to your head, you’ve somehow eaten too much candy or your really happy right now. This is so weird…”

<Anna> *Anna shrugs* “I don’t know but this is comfortable and it feels nice again to not fight with you everytime we open our mouths*

<Jo> “I cant help but completely agree.. Its nice actually.”

<Anna> “It is.”

<Jo> “I’d ask how you were doing or what you’ve been up to but chances are one of us will get upset, so I’m goin’ to just make a joke ‘bout my habits rubbing off on you if you’re not wearing your bra that much these days.”

<Anna> “I’m sure other habits have rubbed off but it’s like you said if we went into details one of us would probably get upset.”

<Jo> *Frowns for a second before shaking her head and laughing* “You know.. I’m surprisingly past that. It’s not like I can get upset about your having a sex life these days since I do too, and lord knows that might be whats helping you mellow out so much these days.”

<Anna> *Anna blushes a bit* “Who said I was talking about sex. I’m sure you have lots of bad habits I could pick up on without it being sexual in nature.”

<Jo> “Very few of my other bad habits would probably make us upset.” *Jo grins slightly at Anna’s blushing before it turns into a smirk* “Course, the blush completely gives you away anyway”

<Anna> “Oh shut up.”

<Jo> “To steal a phrase - you’re cute when your embarrassed.”

<Anna> “I am not!”

<Jo> *Jo just laughs*

<Anna> *Anna grumbles*

<Jo> “So, you’ve stolen my no bra and sexcapades - have you progressed to no panties yet?” *Jo continues grinning*

<Anna> “No….” *Anna blushes more thinking about some of the things she has progressed too* “Possibly sleeping nude..”

<Jo> “Lucky.” *Tilting her head at the blushing, Jo gives a laugh* “Theres something else though. Cause you’re doing the cute blushing thing again.”

<Anna> “No..there isn’t.” *Anna says looking away from Jo* “It’s not like I kiss and tell anyway.”

<Jo> “Fine fine, I’ll leave you and your monsters filthy kinky sex habits be.”

<Anna> “They are not filthy!” *Anna says a lil too fast looking indignant*

<Jo> *Jo bursts into giggles at that* “Oh, but now I think they are!”

<Anna> *Anna crosses her arms* “I think you would have liked some of it if we had stayed together*

<Jo> “You’re gonna have to give me examples, cause I’m a bit more vanilla than most people think.” *She smirks back at Anna, cocking an eyebrow suggestively*

<Anna> “Oh what are you asking for a demonstration?” *Anna raises a brow looking at Jo*

<Jo> *Jo snorts slightly, waving a hand* “I don’t think your boytoy would like that. I said examples.”

<Anna> “And I doubt yours would take kindly to it either.” *Anna grins*

<Jo> “Casual sex.” *Jo points at herself* “Relationship. I think your guy has more sway in the matter.” *She points back at Anna, shaking her head slightly*

<Anna> “True. And I think it would be more fun to leave you to wonder.” *Anna grins impishly at Jo*

<Jo> “Not sure that’s a good thing, given I’ve got a pretty active imagination.” *Smirks back at her*

<Anna> “Its probably not but really who are you going to ask? Gray? I doubt it.”

<Jo> “Suddenly Im thinking I could probably bully some answers out of Harry if I was interested enough..”

<Anna> “All Harry will have heard is screams and moans.”

<Jo> “Thank god for his poor virgin eyes then.” *Jo laughs again, smiling*

<Anna> *Anna laughs and then blushes* “Then there was that one time..the door was open to the bedroom..”

<Jo> *Jo stops laughing for a second before starting again* “Oh lord, you left the door open?! Though I guess I can’t say much but gees, what if someone came to see if you were okay?”

<Anna> “It wasn’t my choice! Gray hit all the right spots and well..I didn’t want to stop to close it and he wasn’t going too. I think he was enjoying it.” *Anna shakes her head, thankful Cas hasn’t said anything about it.*

<Jo> *Jo stares before flushing embarrassedly and laughing* “Oh god, me and him have something in common then. And of course he wasn’t going to, though no harm no foul?”

<Anna> “And it’s not like Harry would have seen anything he hasn’t already seen before.” *Anna gives Jo a pointed look and then tilts her head thinking.* “And why am I always the one naked in these things.”

<Jo> *Jo bursts out into hysterics at Anna’s look, shrugging a shoulder as she tries to talk through it* “Cause… Youre less aggressive?”

<Anna> *Anna huffs as Jo laughs and she waits for the blond to get herself back under control* “I wouldn’t say less aggressive..”

<Jo> “You’re not just gonna stradle someone, rip your and their clothes off and get right to it there and then. You’re.. a little more patient.” *It took a while but Jo gets herself together and smirks wickedly as she talks, raising an eyebrow*

<Anna> “Well no, that isn’t my style but..nevermind.”

<Jo> “No, but what…?”

<Anna> “Nothing. Let’s just say, Gray has come back from feeding to some intersting things.” *Anna says with a smirk and a blush*

<Jo> *Jo pauses for a second before grinning slightly* “Now /that/ is something I wouldn’t have expected. …Wait, did your involve porn or dress ups - or dress downs as the case may be?”

<Anna> *Anna squirms* “I’m not sure how you classify it.”

<Jo> “I’m gonna say not ‘personal time’ things then.” *Jo shakes her head slightly, flushing slightly before grinning* “Were there costumes or no clothes? Easiest way to tell.”

<Anna> “Um. No costumes..”

<Jo> “….Fancy underwear? Or starkers?”

<Anna> “Neither”

<Jo> “… Okay you’re gonna have to explain. Before I start thinkin’ he walked in on your getting off. Which isn’t exactly a bad thing to happen in my experience.”

<Anna> “No! no! nothing like that..but..well..” *Anna squirms turning red* “Thanks for leaving behind some of the silver chains down stairs*

<Jo> *Jo stares before laughing* “Oh god.”

<Anna> “Shut up!”

<Jo> “Thats just…” *Jo continues giggling*

<Anna> “Just what?” *Anna says regretting saying anything*

<Jo> “I wouldnt have expected is all. Well, from him, yeah, but I wouldnt have predicted you would.”

<Anna> “Well I did it for him..but it was fun..” *Anna grins just a bit*

<Jo> *Jo smirks back nodding her head* “I’m sure he probably enjoyed that.”

<Anna> “Oh he did, twice.”

<Jo> *She snorts out a laugh, shaking her head* “I could actually believe you did that..”

<Anna> “Why is it so hard to believe?” *Anna tilts her head*

<Jo> “I said could. Its not hard to believe at all, though I wouldn’t have expected it.”

<Anna> *Anna shrugs some* “I guess I want to make sure Gray stays happy and its different”

<Jo> “… There a reason he wouldnt be?” *Jo frowns slightly, crossing her arms* “I’m suddenly so glad I don’t need to worry about that these days”

<Anna> “No, stupid ass won’t leave even if it’s for his own good.”

<Jo> *She raises an eyebrow for a second before waving her hand for Anna to explain*

<Anna> “Crowley used me to get to him. He begged for Crowley for me..and nothing I do now will get him to leave or fight back as long as Crowley has me for leverage.” *Anna’s frustration is starting to show some*

<Jo> “That… ….sucks. A lot.” *Jo frowns slightly* “Did you want him to fight back and risk your safety instead?”

<Anna> “I don’t ..I’m not worth it. He shouldn’t just do what Crowley says because I might be hurt. It’s not like I haven’t been hurt before and he’s not supposed to be willing to lay down for me like that!”

<Jo> “It’s called being whipped Anna, or in the more affectionate venacular - love. You’d do the exact same for him, so regardless of my feelings on the subject given I’d really like to see him flayed alive by Crowley these days…” *Jo pulls a face as she says the word ‘love’, frowning back at Anna* “Youre stuck with it. You tamed the beast, now you’re gonna have to deal with it.”

<Anna> *Anna give Jo a glare as she says she wants to see Gray flayed alive by Crowley*

<Jo> “Oh come on. I’ll let you have a snark about Grey and then we’re all even. It’s not like your boy doesn’t want me hung, drawn, quarterd and fed to birds.”

<Anna> “Only becaus of what you did…”

<Jo> “And I only feel that way about him cause of what he did. We’re both justified in our hatred of one another Anna, that aint gonna change”

<Anna> “Did I say I wanted it to change?”

<Jo> “The glare indicated otherwise…”

<Anna> “Well for once I wish you were right and I could do whatever it is that I do to drive people off and drive Gray off. I would happily accept it being my fault and ending up alone then if it kept him and everyone else safe because you know I’m such a fuck up.” *Anna turns walking off*

<Jo> “I doubt you could do that - driving him off wont stop Crowley!” *Jo calls after Anna, sighing slightly at the end*

<Anna> “maybe but least then he would fight back.”

<Jo> “Again, I doubt it.”

<Anna> *Anna just makes a sound of frustration*

<Jo> “Anna its not that simple to get rid of that protective feeling, regardless of his being a monster or not. Why do you think Crowley picked you for the second person, not Dean or Sam or anyone else? It doesnt go away that quickly.”

<Anna> “he picked me because I tried to kill him, he holds a long grudge.”

<Jo> “No. He picked you because he knew it would hurt me on top of that.”

<Anna> “Well then everyone would be better off if I were dead.”

<Jo> “Do you have a deathwish or something? I thought I was the suicidal one of us all.”

<Anna> *Anna doesn’t say anything*

<Jo> *Jo sighs* “Anna, as it stands, youre making it better being alive and being used as a bargaining tool. A weight over peoples heads that is. Cause all we’re getting is emotional pain, it’s a buffer to stop everyone acting stupidly and getting hurt more. I mean - I came away with only a busted lip from my talk with Crowley, at least visibly.”

<Anna> “Is this supposed to make me feel better??

<Anna> “

<Jo> “…Sorta?”

<Anna> “You still suck at giving pep talks.”

<Jo> “You thought over everything that’d be what changed?” *Jo smiles slightly, hoping Anna’d follow cue*

<Jo> out of* (wtf brain?)

<Anna> *Anna just shakes her head going and retrieving a bottle of drink* “I don’t know what to think anymore.” *opening it she just drinks straight from the bottle*

<Jo> *Jo raises an eyebrow at Anna grabbing the bottle and drinking straight* “Well, that’s different. C’mon, lets look at it this way - what /has/ changed with me since… everything? I know you’ve gotten more adventurous and seem to like your liquor to squash things now. Your turn.”

* STATUS: Online

-

<Anna> “I know you’re with Grey..living there, seem happy even if you call it casual. Your mom is back, you’re hunting still, Crowley made you drug me…mostly what’s different is your monster relationship.” *Anna doesn’t say anything about what Jo says about her drinking.*

<Jo> *Jo keeps her face straight as Anna speaks, lips tugged out to an almost pout* “You’re less likely to pick a fight.”

<Anna> “What do you mean?”

<Jo> “It’s something thats changed.”

<Anna> *Anna shrugs*

<Jo> “Well its true.”

<Anna> “What is new with you that I don’t know?”

<Jo> *Jo frowns for a second, thinking* “I’ve been saying I’m sorry.”

* STATUS: Online

-

<Anna> *Anna looks surprised for a moment and takes a drink* “Huh..it is the end of the world after all. One of the signs of the apocalype, rivers shall run red, fire shall rain down, cities will fall and Jo Harvelle will apologize.”

<Jo> “A few very ugly fights with more than just the one person tends to do it.” *Jo shrugs a shoulder before reaching for the bottle and swigging back a mouthful*

<Anna> “With more than one? So it wasn’t just all me after all?” *Anna can’t help but sound just a bit amused*

<Jo> “You can blame your boytoy and that predjudist view you used to have about monsters for it all.” *She scowls slightly, taking another larger drink* “Me and Mom were fighting tooth and nail long before you and I were… And then there-nevermind.”

<Anna> “Oh no you didn’t let me off the hook. And there was??” *Anna takes the bottle back from Jo taking another drink*

* Quit

* Rejoined

<Jo> (I missed that. Resend)

<Anna> <Anna> “Oh no you didn’t let me off the hook. And there was??” *Anna takes the bottle back from Jo taking another drink*

<Jo> *Hitting her forhead Jo sighs, pulling a face* “And there was my fight with Grey about… ….inappropriate techniques to make people stay and answer questions which was highly wrong. Of me.”

<Anna> *Anna snorts* “You used iron on him didn’t you?”

<Jo> “… Yes.” *Jo cringes taking the bottle back and taking two large gulps before continuing* “Shackles actually.”

<Anna> *Anna laughs slightly* “Wow and all I did was lock Gray in a room.”

<Jo> “Yeah, shut up, I know. Bad bad bad bad bad. I swear to god I thought he was going to blow up or somethin’… Can’t believe I did that honestly.” *Jo continues to drink for a few more seconds before offering the bottle over*

<Anna> *Anna takes the bottle laughing still before taking a drink* “I can, you used to threaten me with holy oil all the time and I think a few times you would have used it if it hadn’t been fatal.”

<Jo> “Difference is I didn’t like you back then. I blame your dick of a partner for getting me in a flurry before it happened.”

<Anna> “Gray held a gun to your head and forced you to shackle his twin?”

<Jo> *Jo sighs, shaking her head and running her hand through her hair* “No, he… Not the point. Just. I’ve been getting over my stupidass pride more, is all.”

<Anna> *Anna takes another drink* “Yep end of the world, were doomed.”

<Jo> “Glad to know I’m now a sign of the Apocalypse coming. Again.”

<Anna> *Anna smirks offering Jo the bottle* “Could be worse..could have been the apacalypse”

<Jo> “I’m not even going to pretend that was amusing.” *Jo shakes her head, taking another swig, changing topics dramatically* “Have you said ‘I love you’?”

<Anna> *Anna blinks and looks like a deer in the headlights* “What? How did we get onto this? What does this have to do with what we were talking about??”

<Jo> “It’s somethign different, we never actually said it, so I was wondering if you’d said it these days.” *Jo smiles slightly around the lip of the bottle, taking a smaller drink* “So, have you?”

<Anna> *Anna reaches for the bottle taking another drink* “If I didn’t say it you and you have human emotions, what makes you think I’ll say something like that to Gray?”

<Jo> “Cause. I’m an emotional cripple with no tact or seeming understandiing human emotion as it is. He at least knows what they are to eat off of them - so who knows you might have. Was just wondeirng.”

<Anna> “You seem to be getting better. Have you admitted to Grey they you really like him?”

<Jo> *Jo snags the bottle back, looking slightly serious though taken aback by Anna’s question* “He’s my best friend, and I love him. He knows that much. What makes you think I like him more than that?”

<Anna> “Because he seems to tolerate you even after pulling a stunt like iron shackles so there must be some serious feelings running deep.”

<Jo> “Tolerate sounds so cold… And it took a while but I think we’re past that - at least he doesn’t freak out when I touch his wrists any more, and I’ve been paying my dues for it. I asked why you thought /I/ really like him though”

<Anna> “You’re still with him and you’re admitting that you apologized and called him a best friend and you love him.” *Anna raises a brow at Jo* “He obviously has something that I didn’t to get you to move forward like that”

<Jo> “He just lets me be me is all. I’m just trying to fix the problems I’ve had in the friendships and relationships I’ve fucked up. Learn from mistakes and what not - make up for them if I can.” *Jo shrugs a shoulder, taking another drink* “You didn’t answer my question.”

<Anna> *Anna takes the bottle taking a drink trying to not feel bitter at hearing Jo saying she’s trying to work through her mistakes with Grey but didn’t try with her till the point everythign was wrecked.* “What was the question?”

<Jo> “Have you said anything about your feelings to Gray?” *Jo blinks at the slightly nasty look, but shrugs it off*

<Anna> “No.”

<Jo> “Because of what he is…?”

<Anna> “Because he isn’t the type to have deep emotional conversations”

<Anna> “you aren’t the only one learning from your past mistakes with people.”

<Jo> *Jo frowns slightly, before nodding her head* “Okay, yeah, I get it. You know, I’d like to be able to actually be friends after … all of this has blown past. The Crowley stuff. I mean it when I say I’m wanting to make up for things I do wrong - yourself included.”

<Anna> *Anna gives a small snort* “It’s funny that you think we will get through this.. but sure.”

<Jo> “Who knows, the guy might get so over inflated with himself he spontaneously combusts.” *Jo gives a wry smile back at her*

<Anna> “We aren’t that lucky.”

<Jo> “Never know. We might catch a break for goddamn once.”

<Anna> “Probably..arm, leg, spine…”

<Jo> “Already got the ribs covered, I say.”

<Anna> “So that just leaves the rest of the bones in the human body.”

<Jo> “At least a third are in the feet?”

<Anna> “Well thats one reason to stay in bed all day..”

<Jo> *Jo gives a laugh, taking another mouthful of the bottle, shaking it slightly* “Without the need for chains.”

<Anna> *Anna takes the bottle from Jo* “Funny..”

<Jo> “I think I’m hysterical.”

<Anna> *Anna rolls her eyes*

Jo and Anna talking for the first time after Anna gets her collar put on

<Anna> *Anna sends Jo a text with a long list of things she needs from the bar library closet asking her to bring it over*

<Jo> *It was easy enough to find the things Anna was after, it was the sheer number which was annoying as Jo fumbles her way to Anna’s apartment. Knocking once, Jo tries the handle, heading inside when it’s unlocked* “What on earth is with all this stuff, Anna? You planning on making some magical bath for your leg or something?”

<Anna> *Anna comes out of the bathroom after having a shower to work out the kinks out of her muscles from a day of failed attempts. Toweling her hair dry she points to the kitchen counter.* “You can put that there and no something else. Thanks Jo for bringing it over.”

<Jo> *Setting them down, Jo turns to look at the other, frowning at the shiny metal around her neck and the lack of bruising and problems* “No problem. …Where’d you get the jewellery from, that looks really familiar?”

<Anna> “Oh I thought you would have heard all about it from Grey.” *Anna raises an eyebrow, her voice a bit rough as she walks over looking through the bags and sorting them for each spell.*

<Jo> “Funnily enough, you’re not exactly a topic of conversation we have any more.” *She sighs, raising her brow back at Anna as she crosses her arms and leans back against the counter* “So.. what happened?”

<Anna> “Crowley, what else happens, beside Grey and Ruby. He put it on, Grey got a good laugh as he caught me walking home. Gray is pissed..by the way, thank you Jo. I don’t know what you said to him but thank you.” *Anna looks at her smiling some.“

<Jo> "Ah, that’s why it.. that makes sense. And I’m sure he did, this is the exact type of thing Grey finds amusing.” *Jo shakes her head, running a hand through her hair as Anna thanks her, shrugging a shoulder* “I let the guy beat up on me and told him he wasn’t allowed to do something, nothing too hard. I cleared up the stuff he was reading into you and Grey as well though.”

<Anna> “You alright?” *Anna could imagine if she caught Gray in a foul mood and tried to talk to him about her when he didn’t want too.

<Jo> *Shrugging again, Jo rubs at her neck briefly before crossing her arms again* “It’s fine. I’ve had worse from him before so it’s not so bad.”

<Anna> *Anna nods walking over to sit on the bed.* “Crowley’s given him a choice, he can either take it out on me or Crowley will bend him over he won’t and he isn’t.”

<Jo> “You sure Crowley isn’t just trying to worm his way into joining the two of you? Because that’s a new threat I’ve only heard the both of you get delivered.” *The flash of sympathy Jo feels towards Anna and Gray gets stomped down as hard as possible - at least those for the monster of the pair - with a quick spin to look away from Anna and fiddle with some of the bowls left out*

<Anna> “We aren’t exactly back together, just talking and no. I think Crowley is enjoying using me against him.” *Anna snorts softly as she shakes her head, it’s either laugh or cry at this time about the fact she’s a weakness for Gray.* “I keep hoping he gets bored with us but no luck.” *She bites her lip to stop from saying that she wishes he would go after Grey.*

<Jo> *Jo sends Anna a thoughtful look before tapping her knuckles against the top of the counter* “I’m sorry if I cant really get any sympathy for him about that - you sure, but him.. not really. I don’t want that asshole getting bored and snooping about my house.”

<Anna> “I know. Someone has to keep him busy while you kill him.” *Anna runs her hand through her hair and she sighs, she’s not used to stepping back from everything but it’s what she’s doing now.* “How are you doing in that?”

<Jo> “Good actually.  I think I have a short list of spells which might do the trick, now it’s just a case of.. finding the right one, the right changes and the right ingredients.” *She sighs again, rubbing at the back of her neck awkwardly, giving Anna a look* “Any advancements on your end?”

<Anna> *Anna shakes her head* “I don’t know anymore I’m just stepping back before I mess anything else up for anyone.”

<Jo> “Stepping back and waiting for the horror again? Sounds…. dreadful.”

<Anna> “It is but hey at least I’m just a bitch now instead of a control freak bitch.” *Anna jokes weakly*

<Jo> *Jo just shoots Anna a look, shiftng to move to stand nearer the bed* “So… whats all this stuff for then?”

<Anna> “Trying to get my new jewelry off, can’t do any damage that way to anyone but myself. So far, I’ve got a sore throat and I feel like i’ve been run over by a truck.” *Anna shrugs some as she looks at Jo scooting over and making room for her if she wants to sit.*

<Jo> *Moving her weight from one foot to the other, Jo looks about and then back to Anna and the collar with a frown* “Have you got him to try and help with it? I know that Grey couldn’t get his off, even back when the two of them were joined and fighting against it.”

<Anna> “He tried when he saw it but hasn’t touched it since everytime anything happens it..well… Have you ever seen one of those collars a dog wears if it barks?” *Anna huffs feeling embarassed and annoyed at the same time, she still can’t stand the idea of what it represents.*

<Jo> *She nods, giving the plain metal surface a curious look before sitting down* “I recognise tha tlook on your face, I’m guessing it really fucking hurts when you try? At least it doesnt shrink?”

<Anna> *Anna nods and then she laughs* “Don’t say that too loud and give him ideas. And Grey can kiss my ass if he thinks I’m just going to sit here and wait for Crowley to take it off. He enjoyed rubbing that fact in my face.”

<Jo> “…You should be glad he hasn’t seemingly taken up any of my ideas yet, actually.” *Jo kicks her foot out against the floor, bouncing her ankle against the surface* “I’m sure he did, Anna, like I say, this is totally to his sense of humor.”

<Anna> “Sense of humor? It’s spite and hate, I’ve seen Gray have that same look in his face when he’s rubbing salt into a wound. Stop trying to down play it but we were good, no one touched each other.” *Anna snaps and then she looks at Jo as she realizes what Jo said.* “Wait, what are your ideas?”

<Jo> “Like I said, I’m sure he did. So long as no ones touching or hurting one another, I don’t care how much steam you blow up at one another, Anna. I know you’re just as likely to find enjoyment out of his being beaten and broken down as he is his, so I’ll downplay the both of you until someone bleeds.” *Her voice is blank as she looks back at her, shrugging a shoulder* “I gave him some suggestions when he was trying to make me his babysitter.”

<Anna> “Is these ideas anything I should be worried about?” *Anna ignores Jo’s comments on Grey but she raises a brow at the wording, no touching and no bleeding, maybe she can do something about the monster after all.*

<Jo> “..If you don’t like acid or starving to death, then yeah, I’d say so.” *Jo shrugs, picking at her jeans as she looks away from Anna with a frown*

<Anna> “Sounds pleasant.” *Anna looks at Jo studying her and she tilts her head to the side.* “You seem upset, what’s wrong?”

<Jo> “Definitely not pleasant. He seemed to find them enjoyable enough not to come after me with them, but I’d be on the look out if I were you.” *Anna’s question stumps her a bit, not really sure how she could explain in such a way that Anna wouldn’t see it as a free shot towards her housemate* “It’s nothing. Just my talk with your not-partner got me thinking about some stuff is all.”

<Anna> *Anna raises a brow.* “What do you mean?” *She tries to keep the edge out of her voice but she can’t help it a bit because Gray just started to talk to her again.*

<Jo> *Jo shoots the other a look, shrugging a shoulder again even if she wants to snap back at the tone* “Just stuff, okay? He’ll be fine”

<Anna> “No offense Jo, you generally have a small list of things you think about. How to kill, how to fuck, what to drink or eat and can you do the other two while killing something.” *Anna gives Jo a look to elaborate on which of these things she’s thinking about.*

<Jo> *Jo flushes, half in anger half in embarrassment, at Anna’s comment, crossing her arms and standing up* "Its not of your damn business, okay? I’ve just been thinkin’ is all and it’s not just about your guy.“

<Anna> *Anna holds her hands up in defeat.* "Fine fine but you seem like you have something on your mind is all.”

<Jo> “Yeah, well.. I do. But it’s fine.” *Jo scowls slightly, shooting Anna a look when she doesn’t seem like she’s about to fight it out with her about it* “It’s just.. I’m not acting like I should be but I’m not feeling weird about it. Which is weird, is all.”

<Anna> “So you’re not feeling like you want to kill him, is that what you’re saying Jo?” *Anna tilts her head as Jo seems really uncomfortable right now,*

<Jo> *Rubbing the back of her neck, Jo shifts her weight between her feet, looking anywhere but at Anna* “In a very dumbed down version, sort of. I want to kill him, I do, I just… don’t want to kill him all the time. He needs to be killed, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want to every second of the day.”

<Anna> *Anna snorts* “So he’s growing on you then.” *She’s trying to not smile, glad for some thing to make her laugh right now. She just never thought it would be hearing Gray is growing on Jo.*

<Jo> “/No/!” *Jo practically shouts back, digging her nails into the back of her neck to stop from throwing her hands upwards, scowling at Anna’s attempt to hide her amusement. Pacing a little way aways and then back, the scowl doesn’t shift at all, even as she rolls her shoulders and continues quietly* “It’s not that.. I don’t like him, I just.. understand him a bit. And it’s not just him, I’m not working properly and it’s throwing me off.”

<Anna> “He’s totally growing on you. Is that why you tried to get him to talk to me? Because if this had been reversed and I thought that you were dating a sociopath of a monster I would do everything I could to keep you from going back to him.” *Scooting back she gives Jo room to explode.*

<Jo> “He’s not! He’s a sociopathic asshole with no redeeming features at all and I have no clue how or why you like him at all and he’s just..” *Jo keeps pacing, not even looking at Anna and turning redder and redder as she talks, scowling fiercely* “He’s throwing me off! Him and his brother! I’m not acting right and it’s bloody pissing me off.”

<Anna> “Gray’s the psychopath, Grey is the sociopath.” *Anna offers helpfully as Jo keeps pacing. She’s not sure she’s ever seen Jo so red and she’s  having a hard time keeping herself from laughing.* “How is the fact you’re starting to accept him, his fault for throwing you off and what is his brother doing to you?”

<Jo> *Jo growls at Anna’s correction, shooting her a look as she keeps pacing, running a hand through her hair like it will calm her down* “Because I /can’t kill them/! I just… I can’t kill either of them, and I know I have to or might have to but I /can’t/, Anna. And it’s making everything else harder and I don’t.. I need to kill that bastard, but I can’t because you’ll get upset and I can fucking /understand/ him! Dont you get it?!”

<Anna> *Anna’s eyes are growing wider as Jo explodes and she finally bursts out laughing.* “You can kill him. Just pull the trigger. And how do you understand him?”

<Jo> *The second Anna laughs Jo snarls back at her, hand jerking out of her hair in a fist and hits a punch at the wall closest to her enough that a few bits of plaster shake off* “It’s not fucking funny! I’m serious!” *Glaring, she pulls her hand back, stuffing it into her jean pocket before she can punch anything again, before muttering darkly* “You don’t fucking get it.”

<Anna> “There goes that deposit…” *Anna bites back her laughter as she looks at Jo’s hand to make sure she isn’t bleeding.* “Then explain it to me. Breath deep and explain how things have changed and why you can’t kill him and why you understand him.”

<Jo> *Scowling, Jo pulls away from Anna, starting to pace again while opening and closing her hands at her sides* “I just get him, alright? He says stuff and does stuff and thinks stuff that I do, and I just.. It makes sense, a lot of it. Not the psychopath crap but a lot of the other stuff, and… I can’t kill him, because once again, that would mean you’d kill … and I can’t have that either so it's just throwing me off of my game. I can’t /hunt/, Anna, it’s hard. It’s never been hard before, but now, I just..” *She slows to a very sedate walking pace, hitting her hands gently against her hips before sighing* “It’s messing me up.”

<Anna> “Welcome to how I started seeing Gray. At some level he’s a lot like us but just more bloody when he gets pissed off. Trust me he keeps growing on you. And Grey, is a lot more like his brother than you want to admit and you’re having a hard time with that because if you want to kill Gray then you should want to kill Gray.” *Anna raises a brow at Jo to see if she’s close to be right.*

<Jo> “I don’t /want/ him to, Anna. I want him dead, I don’t want to be thinking about this or to have that minute pause every time I go to stab or shoot something of ‘what makes this so different’. I don’t want to deal with that, I want him /gone/.” *Jo hisses back, hitting her fist hard against her hip as she looks back at Anna’s look* “And that’s not the case at all. I know what Grey’s /really/ like, not just the jackass he is around you or how nice he is around Harry, alright? He’s not hurting anybody or at least he doesn’t want to, Gray on the other hand just wants everyone to be hurt.”

<Anna> “Really? Then why did you go try not once but twice to get us back together?” *Anna can’t understand some of what’s Jo going through because she could still kill Grey without hesitation.*

<Jo> “I don’t know! You were upset, and he was being creepy, and I just..” *Jo hits her hip again before crossing her arms, frown firmly in place*

<Anna> “Have you ever felt bad for him?” *Anna gets up going to the freezer taking out a bottle of vodka she has in it and throws it to Jo*

<Jo> *Jo catches the bottle, waving it a bit to test how much was in it, almost surprised by the amount, before screwing off the top and taking a quick swig of it, starting to pace again* “…Why?”

<Anna> “Just curious.” *Anna goes back to the bed, sitting cross legged as she watches Jo. She sorta feels bad for her but not totally and she’s more than a bit pleased to know that Jo can’t just flat out kill Gray now.*

<Jo> “I felt bad for him putting up with your crazy moodswings, for one.” *She mutters in response, looking suspciously at Anna’s almost pleased expression*

<Anna> “I feel bad for anyone putting up with me.” *Anna prompts knowing that Jo puts up with her more than she should even now.*

<Jo> *Jo nods, tipping her head back for another mouthful from the bottle, not really feeling any better for it* “Yeah well, what the fuck else are we supposed to do for loved ones, right?”

<Anna> “Protect them?” *Anna smiles some watching Jo take another swig.* “So have you been feeling bad for Gray?”

<Jo> “…Other than that? Why should I?” *She mutters quietly, shoulders shrinking up as she frowns slightly* “I just understand him, doesn’t mean I give a crap what he goes through. I’d much rather not know anything at all and put a bullet through his frontal lobe.”

<Anna> “But does knowing make it even harder to put a bullet through him? You know before he left he said to take care of myself and watch out for you as well. Whatever you did, I think he’s going through a bit of the same because I’ve never seen Gray express concern for you.” *Anna’s voice drops some as she looks at Jo, thinking about Gray.*

<Jo> *Jo’d opened her mouth to speak at Anna’s question but cuts herself off when Anna continues talking, staring almost in disbelief at her* “He.. what? That’s not like him..” *She says the words but doesn’t really believe them, figuring that if she could find some kind of connection other than mutual hatred with him, then it’d probably be the same in reverse* “…It does make it harder, of course.”

<Anna> “Who knows, maybe if we all live through this everything will go back to normal or you two will actually not hate each other. Maybe there’s been some good come out of Crowley after all.” *Anna smiles some at Jo.*

<Jo> *The thought makes Jo shudder, taking another swig from the bottle* “It’s kind of depressing to think me and Gray are more likely to make ammends than you and his brother.”

<Anna> “That is a depressing thought but who knows, things could change. I would have never thought that I would witness the budding chance of friendship between you and Gray.” *Anna chuckles some as she holds out her hand for the bottle.*

<Jo> *Jo snorts at Anna, flushing out of anger for certain this time* “There will be no friendship - he’s a cold blooded murderer.” *She looks between Anna’s hand and the bottle consideringly before grumbling and handing it over, kicking her ankle against the side of the bed as she passes*

<Anna> *Taking the bottle she drinks and offers it back to Jo as the liquor burns going down, not feeling the best on her throat and she coughs some* “Well, friendship is a strong word. Acceptance of each other, let’s put it that way.” *Anna teases Jo some.*

<Jo> “You probably shouldn’t drink anything for a while Anna.” *Jo takes the bottle back, drinking another mouthful before capping it, setting the bottle on the kitchen counter as she stays back away from Anna again, slightly grumpy at the insinuation of potential friendship* “Again - he’s a cold blooded killer. It’s wrong, he can exist /without/ killing anyone or anything, and yet he decides not to. I can’t abide by it..”

<Anna> “Why are you holding him to human standards? He’s not and it’s not fair to expect him to go outside of his nature. It would be like asking you to stop hunting and go into, I don’t know raise puppies.” *Anna challenges Jo.*

<Jo> “I’m not, I’m holding him to the same standards I hold the rest of their kind: are they killing people? Are they intentionally hurting them? Do they have other options? Are they taking them? I get a yes, yes, yes and a no playing the 'Does Gray do this’ game. How 'bout you?” *Jo scowls, crossing her arms as she leans back against the counter* “They don’t /have/ to kill to survive, but he does it.”

<Anna> “No he kills because he wants too. But then again he was created because Crowley did something to Grey correct so he’s unique to the rest of his kind.” *Anna counters logically.*

<Jo> “Yeah, he’s.. ….He’s the part of Grey that didn’t want to stop being a monster, basically. All he does is do what he wants, no regard for anyone or anything else. He’s got no restraint or control - or rather, he has too much control and he just doesn’t care what he does with it.”

<Anna> “And he’s starting to change.”

<Jo> “He’s still hurting people, or he still wants to and will.” *Jo raises an eyebrow, shifting to sit attop the counter space since the table was broken and she didn’t feel like sitting in the table-less chairs or near Anna* “How come he is able to change, yet you won’t believe that Grey isn’t what you think he is?”

<Anna> “Because Gray doesn’t hide what he feels or is. Grey does nothing but work to make others forget he’s a monster but he has no problem acting like one if he doesn’t value your life. Sound familier?” *Anna shifts so she’s facing where Jo has decided to finally sit.*

<Jo> “He sounds like you, honestly.” *Jo looks back at Anna blankly, almost anticipating the response to that, even as she shakes her head at the, in her opinion, shallow interpretation of the monsters*

<Anna> *Anna shrugs* “I’ve got a higher body count technically than you all put together if you really want to talk about killers. Maybe it’s why I can seperate it easier between the two of them.”

<Jo> “Not because you wanted to though, and theres your difference.”

<Anna> “Killing an innocent though is killing an innocent. Why are you holding me different than Gray?”

<Jo> “Because you didn’t /want/ to. You didn’t do it because it made you happy or brought you joy - the same way Grey doesn’t. …While your guy on the other hand does it for kicks, and don’t even try to deny it - I know he does because I get the same when I kill something that I wanted to.” *Jo bites her lip as she finishes, staring at Anna even as she got quieter as she talked*

<Anna> “Then why do you kill the monsters that have no choice but to eat humans. Do they want to because it’s them or the human? How is that justified? Do you feel the same sense of satisfaction or is it simply your duty as a hunter?” *Anna’s expressions have almost vanished as she sits looking straight at Jo, unblinking.*

<Jo> “If they can’t control themselves and are hurting people, then it’s my duty to protect people. It upsets me to kill those that can’t help themselves - the monsters who can’t fight it and who aren’t aware or don’t know any more. If they have the ability to make a choice but decide to continue because that’s what they want?” *Jo shrugs her shoulder, feeling a little too analysed under Anna’s gaze* "Then I /want/ to kill them.“

<Anna> "But you’re  hurting them. What makes humans so supperior to monsters? You don’t like it when the angels considered you little better than trash but you are more than happy to do it monsters.” *Anna’s voice still remains flat as she starts to understand more of why Jo is bothered by Gray.*

<Jo> “I don’t give a crap where any one is on the superiority scale - monsters, humans, angels, we’re all really the same, just different end destinations and paths on the way there. What I do give a crap about is whether something is killing a lot of things because they /want/ to and they want to hurt other’s and make them suffer. I care about that, and I know I fall into the second catergory but I'm trying to balance the lives that I save from being killed in future by something that can’t control themselves or want to murder them - with those I do kill. I’m hoping at the end of the day my good will balance out my bad, but if it doesn’t, then I get what I deserve as well.” *Jo shrugs again, tucking her arms tightly under her chest as she looks away from Anna, the stare completely unnerving*

<Anna> “Death is death. We all live with the comfort and delusion that by killing that one we save this one in the future but  when it comes down to it. We are all killers.” *Anna speaks softer now as she watches Jo still, her expression softening as well.* “Gray enjoys killing and so do you but you seem angry at Gray because he doesn’t try and justify it like you do and he doesn’t feel guilt over it.”

<Jo> *Jo nods at Anna’s first comments, knowing that it’s a little childish to have that opinion but still feeling more comfortable with that theory to life. Her head jerks back around to Anna’s face at her observation about Gray, reaching a hand up to rub at the back of her neck* “..Maybe? He doesn’t care that he doesn’t have to, he’s got no reason other than his own enjoyment and he doesn’t even show any of his victims any /respect/. That’s… that’s wrong on so many levels. I’ve seen those bodies, I’ve spoken and seen some of them while they were alive.. …Ive killed them myself. And they’re just.. it’s /wrong/ how he treats them and how he acts, Anna, it’s pointlessly cruel and horrible and he just does it because its fun. Doesn’t even give them a grave or make it so the family can learn..”

<Anna> “Do you notify the next of kin of the monsters you kill that have no choice? Do you leave them a grave other than a pile of ash in the middle of no where? Have you ever taken pleasure in prolonging the death of something or torturing it simply because it’s not the same species as you?”

<Jo> “..Werewolves and skinwalkers. Rugaru’s I track the families. The rest it gets a little harder to identify and do anything for them, most of the time the families are dead already.” *Jo chews on her lip as she ducks her head, feeling a little ashamed of herself for admitting to even following further than her cases need to, like Anna was like the hunters from the Roadhouse who expect her to be tough* “Burning is the simplest, but even that’s the same as a grave given it’s a cremation. Gray just leaves the mangled remains where ever he’s finished with them. …And you know torture isn’t exactly my favourite thing in the world. Or something I take part in often, Anna.”

<Anna> “I believe Gray would disagree with you on the torture Jo.” *Anna breathes in and she pushes her fist question more. “Those are the ones that have human families but what about those like the kitsune and djinn? They have family, structure, loved ones, do you notifiy those families or simply track them to kill them?”

<Jo> “Gray is a special circumstance.” *Jo shrugs a shoulder as she says it, looking back at Anna curiously* “I don’t know, I haven’t crossed paths with a kitsune before or anything that I know have actual family structures.”

<Anna> “Maybe it’s because while I want to be human to feel things and I admire all that I have seen from you since you first crawled out of the ocean that I favor you and I want to stop you from being wiped out but it doesn’t mean I put you as a species above others. It’s no longer balanced, no matter how many people monsters kill, it won’t ever hurt you as a race and perhaps it’s just their time to go. I don’t hold you and higher than I do Gray. When I put Grey down for being a monster, it’s because angels are above him and humans, equally.” *Anna leans back giving a small shrug as she looks away from Jo finally and towards the bottle of vodka*

<Jo> *Jo nods her head, fisting her hands into her coat pockets* “Yeah, I know Anna. Though I’d think there were both humans and monsters who might disagree about that, but I get it. I know I favor my own kind, but I try to get rid of or have bad humans taken care of as much as I can without getting myself a one way ticket straight downstairs - and if I knew a monster who wasn’t hurting other’s needed my help, I wouldn’t say no if I could help them. It’s.. it’s hard to say though, given I’ve only met a few monster’s who try to control themselves and avoid killing and hurting people.”

<Anna> “I just think you need to stop holding Gray and yourself to higher standards. He’s who he is and so are you.” *She smiles some at Jo as she stands walking over and getting the bottle, taking a drink, trying to shake the feeling she has right now.*

<Jo> “He’s who he is, and who he is is against everything I stand for..” *Jo mutters in return, twisting her hands as she looks down awkwardly*

<Anna> *Anna chuckles as she takes another drink before handing Jo the bottle.* “Yet you can understand him.”

<Jo> “Let it never be said that my life isn’t complicated.” *She takes the bottle herself, sipping another mouthful and relaxes her shoulders a little*

<Anna> *Anna nods feeling hte collar and she starts sorting herbs again, her skin crawling. She feels like an angel right now talking to Jo about this and now she feels like the collar is choking her.* “All of our lives are complicated. Angels, monsters, humans all living together and being friends.”

<Jo> *Jo looks at her out of the corner of her eye as she scratches and presses at her collar, mouth tugging up on one side as she watches* “Or hating one another, depending.”

<Anna> “If history repeats like they say it does then you and Gray are going to be best friends by how we started out at each other’s throats.” *Anna teases as she prepares the ones that need ground in a mortar and pestle*

<Jo> “In contrast to the potential for you and Grey to start knocking boots if history really does repeat itself. …Not sure if I like either of those ideas, myself.” *Jo teases back, taking another mouthful of vodka and glad to finally feel a little less stressed or aggressive from it as she watched Anna* “…What are you doing?”

<Anna> “Working on new spells and I promis to not knock boots with Grey if you don’t with Gray.” *Anna smirks a bit as she stops for another pull on the vodka, clearing her throat some.* “What’s the worse this collar does, kill me?”

<Jo> “That’s a bit of a hard promise to make. Should probably get him to agree to it as well just in case.” *Jo half jokes, leaning around to look t what Anna was mixing* “Well.. I’d say yeah, killing. Or make you completely paraplegic maybe.”

<Anna> “Well, then I couldn’t feel it when Crowley decides that he finally wants a piece of me. Might be a blessing.” *Anna jokes weakly as she adds more herbs and begins to grind them.* “Won’t have to worry about having just lame foot then either.”

<Jo> *Jo swallows dryly looking at the other as she’s focussed on the herbs and grinding, folding her own arms and shifting a little away* “Just try not to blow yourself up while I’m in the splash zone..”

<Anna> “You watch to many horror movies. My head isn’t going to explode.” *Anna takes a knife, running it over the inside of her arm, next to the other cuts and she lets the blood mix with the herbs. Human blood she muses, if she had any grace left her blood shouldn’t work but it does.*

<Jo> “You can blame that on Grey these days; never know with Crowley though, do you Anna?” *Jo watches on in interest from as far away as possible*

<Anna> “Is he taking refresher courses for how to be a monster?” *Anna takes a cheap shot as she draws the marks on the collar in blood and then lights a match, taking a breath as she throws it into the bowl, speaking in Enochian only to have her words choked off as the collar activates*

<Jo> *Jo was meaning to reply to the crack when Anna seizes, not sure what’s going on at all and leaping off the counter to grab her as she starts falling backwards* “Anna? Anna are you okay?”

<Anna> *Breathing hard she just nods, not able to speak yet. Maybe doing the rests of the tests on the bed would be smarter as Jo doesn’t let her hit the floor. If she had thought of that earlier she probably would have a few less bruises*

<Jo> *She tightens an arm around Anna’s waist before pulling her back towards the bed gently, helping to set her down* “Okay, no more blood tests. I don’t think it’s going to work.” *Jo tries to shuffle Anna back as far as possible so any movement won’t have her rolling off the bed before stroking the other’s hair from her face with a small frown* “And no, he’s not. Though maybe you’re taking refresher angel ones - unless you’re just being completely stupid wiht these attempts. Does that happen every time?”

<Anna> *Anna nods, the shock easing and she coughs taking a deep breath* “It sucks and sort of hurts.” She whispers with a weak laugh. “Thanks.” She relaxes slowly, her muscles unclenching. “Refuse to believe that Crowley is only way out.”

<Jo> “Looks like someone was zapping you with fifty stun guns at once, Anna. That can’t be good for your heart..” *Jo sighs, looking at Anna’s clammy and sweart skin before holding up a hand* “Stay.” *She rushes into the bathroom and grabs one of the small hand towels, wetting it and coming back to rest it on Anna’s forehead* “Can’t help but think that he might be. Which is disgusting as all hell”

<Anna> *The cold feels good and she closes her eyes for a moment. Jo keeps bringing things up she hadnt thought off, the shock goes down her spine she never even thought about her heart.* “Just, demon magic, not like real electricty. Crowley won’t kill his pet.” *She’s breathing easier as her chest unclenches and she reaches up with a shaking hand to move the towel down her face* “Thank you again.”

<Jo> “I wouldn’t be too sure about that. He practically did kill Grey the first time he got him. Back when he had one of these.” *Jo reaches out and taps Anna’s collar with one finger gently before moving to pick up the towel for Anna and moves it as gently as possible, frowning down at the silver piece of metal* “I’d avoid doing that more than once a day though, just to be sure..”

<Anna> “He killed Grey?” *Anna blinks not knowing that and she lays her head back letting Jo move the towel over her skin.* “More than once, that was number  6 today..I think..”

<Jo> “I said practically. I don’t know the details, I just know it was bad..” *Jo frowns slightly, giving Anna a sharp look* “/Definitely/ no more tests today. Honestly, you thought that was a good idea?”

<Anna> “No. Never said it was. Only one that can’t hurt anyone else.” *Anna winces as she looks away as Jo gives her a look.* “Tried to get Gray to try and pull it off, just ignore the shocking but he wouldn’t. Never actually finished spell, hard to speak when your jaw locks up.”

<Jo> “I’d go ahead and hazard a guess that it isn’t coming off then, because I don’t know anyone who will willingly help you or hurt you.” *Jo sighs,folding the towel into a long strip and leaving it across Anna’s neck right near where her skin was slightly red from the collar’s reaction*

<Anna> “Maybe provoke Grey, he wouldn’t care.” *Anna reaches up, rubbing the collar.* “This sucks, trade problems? Can be upset over not wanting to kill someone you can have new jewelry.”

<Jo> “He’d know it was helping you, I doubt he’d want to do that..” *Jo sighs, sounding a little bitter when she says it before an idea strikes her making her laugh awkwardly* “I wonder if I had taken Crowley up on his offer if I’d have been given a key.. And I think I’ll keep my own problems, thanks.”

<Anna> “Offer?” *Anna looks at Jo blinking several times as she feels her body wanting to shut down but she doesn’t want to sleep.*

<Jo> “I keep you 'pets’ in line.. take you out for exercise, stop any harm coming to them - and Mom gets a free ride up to Heaven and a long happy life with no problems.” *Jo shrugs, looking down at Anna as she blinks blearily* “I told him to fuck off.”

<Anna> “Still doing it though. Won’t let Grey and I fight, telling me I’m stupid for this, bringing a cold towel.” *Anna’s blinks are getting longer as her words slur worse and worse. “Could use massage if pampering pets..”

<Jo> “I’d rather do it without the connection and feeling like I’ve sold my soul to the devil.” *Jo sighs, watching her carefully before smiling slightly* “You’re not a pet, Anna, 'least not to me. Roll on your front if you want, otherwise just nod off. I’ll take care of everything.”

<Anna> “Take care of Gray?” *Anna asks as she gives up the fight and let’s her body’s demand for sleep take her. She’s relaxed there with Jo, only other person besides Gray she feels totally at ease around when they aren’t fighting.

<Jo> *Jo looks uncomfortable for a second, frowning as Anna seems to slip off slightly* “I’ll see what I can do.” *She waits until Anna’s out cold to stand up, taking the towel with her as she starts packing away the bowl of herbs and generally cleaning up and replacing the towel with another before pulling out her phone to play with instead of just leaving*

[canadiankazz]

The Fourth Time - An L.A. by Night fanfic

Jasper and Annabelle's relationship has taken a lot of intimate steps lately, but when she lets him take the reins, so to speak, and let his more dominant side out, they manage to find a way to get even more pleasure out of it. 

SPOILERS for the end of Campaign 1 including the one-shots. This has gone off canon, so consider this an AU. It's worth reading Part 1 (The First Time), Part 2 (The Second Time) and Part 3 (The Third Time) before you read this. This fic takes place almost directly after The Third Time. This was written before the premiere of Season 2, Episode 2.

I lay no claim to owning any of the characters involved. Things are gonna get more kinky than they have been in this series so far from here on out. We are way past tame wrist biting now. We’re getting into some mild BDSM stuff in this part.

As always, special thanks to @cravatfiend for the support and encouragement during the writing of the drafts. When I asked them for a safe word, they picked the best one for Annabelle. I had the privilege of watching them read this for the first time and all they could say was "...Damn!" High praise, indeed. 

All my love, also, to @gokaiyellow for their additional input, @fluffy-wookiees for being adorable, and to everyone else who has enjoyed this series so far. There are many more parts to come after this one, no worries. (As of posting, I’m currently finishing writing part 8 with ideas for part 9!)

Also posted to the author's Ao3.

First posted Feb, 2, 2019.

The Entire ‘Feeds From’ Master List Can be Found Here

The Fourth Time

Annabelle was having a nightmare. She was running for her life through a dark sewer. Her shoes splashed through the filth. Rats squeaked and scattered in a panic as she charged forwards. Behind her, she could hear a dreadful snarling echoing through the tunnel. She couldn’t see the monster chasing her, but she could hear it. Its hungry growling was getting closer and closer. When, not if, but when it caught her, it was going to rip her apart and eat her alive. Her eyes scanned the walls and curved ceiling frantically for a ladder or escape hatch up to the streets above. There! A ladder appeared to her right. She climbed it as fast as she could, but right when she was about to push up through the manhole cover, she felt sharp claws grab her leg and pull her back down. She screamed.

Annabelle woke with a shudder. Her Beast strained in her chest and throat. The room she was in was dark. There were no windows. She was on her side facing a blank wall. She could feel someone else's body pressed against her back and a long arm curved cosily around her side and stomach that was not her own. There was no breath or body heat coming from the person behind her.

Then she remembered. She was in Jasper's sanctum again. In his bed, again. And he had fed on her last night, again. And now...

She tried to turn her head to look at him without disturbing him. His arm tightened around her a little.

“Jasper?” she whispered.

“Mm.”

He was awake. Annabelle relaxed a little and went back to looking at the wall. He seemed comfortable where he was and so was she, to her mild surprise. Their relationship had taken many great leaps these past few months.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“Hey,” he mumbled into her hair.

“Sleep well?”

“Like the dead.”

She rolled her eyes and poked his arm. “Ha. Ha.”

She heard him snarl softly in her ear as he smiled.

“You need a bigger bed,” she told him.

“Why?”

“Because we only barely fit on it.”

“I thought that this was only going to be a temporary thing,” he said, sounding amused. “Something to tie me over for a little while.”

“Well, clearly... it's not,” Annabelle said softly.

“We can't keep doing this forever,” he told her. His voice was gentle, but firm. “The others are going to find out, and... it's not a healthy relationship.”

Annabelle frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

“What I mean is that...” he sighed, thinking of what to say. She felt him roll back slightly away from her. “It's one sided.”

“No... you feed from me sometimes and let me sleep in your bed sometimes, that's fair.”

“But you don't have to sleep here.”

“You don't have to feed from me either, but here we are,” Annabelle said pointedly. She sighed and touched his hand. “I don't want to argue with you. I... I am happy for this to continue as long as you want. I don't feel like it's one sided, Jasper. I thought you liked it... Liked me.”

“I do,” he admitted softly, “but that’s the problem. I think I’m liking it too much and... that scares me.”

Annabelle thought she understood now. He had told her that a Kindred feeding from another was a big deal and she got why now. Blood was more than just food for them, it was life, and sharing your life with someone else left a big impact. So too did someone forcibly taking it away. He had been trying to adjust to this new, kinder type of feeding and despite the fact that they had only done it three or four times in the past few months, maybe things were still, on an emotional level, going a little too fast for him. Annabelle awkwardly shifted, rolling over to face him. His hoodie was down. From what little light there was in the bedroom, she could see his pale, gaunt face. “It’s okay,” she said. “Don’t let it scare you. I think I get it though. We’ve been kind of going at my pace a little bit.”

Jasper remained quiet, but gave a slight nod. He could see she was more or less on the right track. He felt it in his blood.

“Okay,” Annabelle sighed slowly. “Do you want some emotional space?”

“I think so. To think things over.”

Annabelle nodded and stroked his arm. Her Vitae has done a good job healing him. “Okay,” she said. She didn’t want to make Jasper uncomfortable in this relationship. “How about this... if you want to do this again, you call me, okay? And we’ll do it however you want to.”

“Okay,” Jasper said. He lent forward a little and his forehead touched Annabelle’s for a brief, tender moment. “Thank you,” he whispered. Then he rolled over and got out of bed.

Annabelle stayed where she was, not wanting to get up yet. “You still owe me a boon, remember?”

“Mm. True.”

“And I've thought about what I want from you. If anything happens to me, anything really bad, I want you to take care of Mark and Elleanore for me.”

“What do you mean by 'take care of?'” he asked.

“Watch out for them. Make sure they don't get attacked, I guess? Just keep them safe, as best you can.” Her hand found her golden locket around her neck and held it.

Jasper considered this briefly and decided that it wasn't unreasonable. It was certainly less embarrassing than teaching X how to moonwalk. “Alright,” he nodded.

“Thank you,” Annabelle said tenderly.

Then Jasper stretched his long limbs. Annabelle could her his joints crack and pop. She sat up and sighed. She was hungry. She needed to go.

She packed up her laptop and the little plastic candles she had brought the night before. Jasper helped to collect them. “Will I see you again later?” She asked hopefully.

Jasper shrugged. “At some point, yes. I want to explore my labyrinth this week, and I know the others will be tracking down those other Kindred who attacked us the other night. We should help with that.”

Annabelle nodded. She was angry that her group had been attacked and she hadn't been there to help. At least she could help in the aftermath. She dreaded to think what would have become of Jasper if she hadn't gotten to him when she did. “Yeah.”

An invisible Jasper walked Annabelle to Griffith College, then they parted ways. They both had a lot to do.

**

Jasper kept himself busy over the next few weeks. He explored his labyrinth. He visited Eva. He received and carried out more jobs for Baron Abrams. All the while, Annabelle's movements and moods were in the back of his mind. The longer he went without feeding on her, the weaker his bond with her became. Part of him missed that. He found himself delaying finding another more permanent solution to his empty larder. He knew that eventually he would have to go back to his more aggressive feeding style, but he also knew he would miss having someone give him their honest and thoughtful consent. It made him feel a tiny bit less like a monster.

That got him thinking. Despite himself, he started to formulate a plan, purely hypothetical, of how his next feeding session with Annabelle could go. She had asked him to come back to her when he was ready to initiate things again and had said that they could do things his way if they wanted to. He had genuinely appreciated that. There was something dominant about him that was asking to be satisfied. Every time it came down to the act of feeding in the past, Jasper had been violent and dominant. Until Annabelle came along and offered herself to him, that is. That had changed things. Jasper had become what was for him, very submissive. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but it wasn't what he wanted to be doing all the time, every time.

He was curious, also, about how far he could push Annabelle's boundaries. She was the one who always wanted more and he had been holding back. He knew very well what he was physically capable of and what his Beast demanded of him. The thought of challenging Annabelle, daring her to keep up with him intrigued him. By the time Jasper finished planning the night he had in mind, he knew that he might regret it forever if he didn't try it. The worst that would happen was Annabelle would say no. He might be a little disappointed, but that was nothing new. He waited another few nights, then decided to set his plan in motion.

**

Annabelle was on her way home when she thought she heard something behind her. She paused, straining her senses, searching for something unseen. At first, there was nothing, then she heard Jasper’s disembodied voice in her ear. “Hey.”

She jumped. “God...!”

“No, just me.” Jasper sounded highly amused.

“Jasper, what are you doing?” She hissed, annoyed at being startled like that.

“I was going to ask you...” he started, then hesitated, possibly reconsidering his words. “Would like to come over tomorrow night for another round?”

Annabelle felt a ghost of a touch on her neck and shoulder, right where he had bitten her last time. She shivered and something deep in her core twisted in the memory of pleasure. “Uhhh... sure,” she said faintly. Her mouth was dry and she swallowed. “Can I ask why? I thought you might not want to any more.”

“I’d been thinking,” Jasper said in her ear with a light snarl, “that there are a few things I would like to try with a consenting individual such as yourself, and I don’t know when I will get the chance to do them again. I would be a fool to not ask.” He put special emphasis on the word ‘consenting.’ His voice was soft and sensual, unusually so, but it was undercut with a thirst that Annabelle recognised.

“Okay, um... how about I come over tomorrow and we’ll talk about it and... see where we go from there,” she said.

“Alright. Come by 3:00,” Jasper replied, “and bring those little plastic candles. And yes... you may sleep over as well.”

Annabelle nodded. “See you then.”

“Oh, one last thing...” she felt Jasper’s lips on her ear and she shivered again, despite herself. “In the meantime, can you think of a safe word, please?”

Annabelle’s eyes went very wide. What on earth could he be planning that would need a safe word? “Uh...” she stammered.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course. Well, I have to, for us to do this, right?”

“We don’t have to do this,” he reminded her.

“I know, but... I want to.” Annabelle swallowed nervously and steadied her nerves. “Okay. I’ll think of something.”

“Alright. See you tomorrow.”

She didn’t hear him leave, but she hadn’t heard him approach either. She stood there in mild shock for another little while with her hands over her mouth and cheeks. She cursed herself for being as excited as she was. This was going to be very, very interesting. She hurried the rest of the way home.

**

When Annabelle arrived once again at Jasper's sanctum the next night, she had her bag with her with the plastic candles and her laptop in it. She had fed earlier, as much as she could without killing any one. She was almost beside herself with nervous excitement. Part of her thought that she should be more apprehensive, that she should let someone know where she was just in case things went bad. But she trusted Jasper. He had been very good to her so far, very good indeed, and he didn't seem to want to ruin this relationship they had going. She trusted the control he had over himself. She still believed that, over-all, he wasn't a bad guy.

She knocked on his front door. Jasper answered it quickly. He had been waiting for her in the passage way on the other side again. He was wearing a different black hoodie this night. This one had fewer layers and just a straight zipper up and down. It was casual. Easy to get into and out of. Interesting.

They smiled at each other and Jasper invited her in. She followed him closely back down the long passage way, though she was sure by now she had the route memorised. They caught up with a little small talk. As they got closer to his rooms, Annabelle could hear faint music. It was classical, something with an orchestra and a choir. They weren't singing in English... Latin, maybe? Annabelle wasn't as knowledgeable on her classical pieces. “You're playing music?” She asked, pleased and surprised.

“Yeah, to set a mood.” Jasper smirked at her. She recognised her own line that she had used on him last time she was here.

“Oh, I see,” she chuckled. “What is it?”

“Mozart’s Requiem in D Minor.” Jasper licked his fangs. “Tell me... have you learned Blush of Life yet?”

“Um... yeah. Yes, I have.” Annabelle had used it very successfully around Elleanore. It gave her a pulse, warmed her skin, let her breathe and otherwise seem almost entirely human again. Annabelle tilted her head a little at Jasper, slowly working out what he had planned. “Why?”

His grin was sharp. “I would like you to use it tonight.”

“Oh... yeah, sure. Right now?”

“If you'd like, or we can wait until we get to the bedroom.”

“I'll wait,” she decided. So far, she liked where this was going.

In the bedroom, they set up her candles on the floor as they did last time. The room was soon full of artificial, warm candlelight. The classical music continued in the background, unobtrusive.

“Did you decide on a safe word?” Jasper inquired.

“Yeah. Um... are you familiar with the stoplight method?”

He considered it. “Red, yellow, green?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means stop. It's basic, but effective.”

Jasper nodded. “Alright. We're going to use that tonight. Unless I hear you say 'yellow' or 'red,' I'm going to assume that everything is green.”

“No gags, then, please,” Annabelle specified.

“No,” Jasper agreed. That had never been a part of his plan for tonight.

Annabelle kept glancing at his fangs while he spoke. She couldn’t help it. His eyes had a hungry and excited gleam. She suspected that he and his Beast were working in near harmony tonight. Well, they had their safe word in place. Everything would be okay. She was feeling brave and keen to see how far Jasper was going to push things tonight.

When she was ready, Annabelle nodded and slipped off her red jacket, as was their custom by now. She had worn the good bra again. Jasper recognised the shape of it under her thin tank top. He snarled a little when he smiled.

“On the bed, please,” he gestured to the bed. Annabelle complied, her lips twitching into a little smile. She sat on the bed, then lay back. As she did so, she activated Blush of Life. Her Beast stirred a little, but was still mostly dormant. She glanced at Jasper. He was staring at her with an expression of incredible desire. He came over to her and sat on the bed. He held her hand and seemed to marvel for a few seconds at its warmth. Annabelle's body fell back into the natural rhythm of breathing. Jasper felt her pulse in her wrist. His fingers were very cold by comparison, and felt very dead. He snarled to himself, pleased.

“I don't have Blush of Life,” he explained softly. “I never bothered to learn how to do it. I mean... why would I? Who am I going to try to convince that I'm alive?”

“You still could learn,” Annabelle said. She could think of at least one person he might have used Blush of Life on, if he could, but bringing up that person was very likely going to ruin the mood, so she didn't.

He shook his head. “I could, but it's doubtful.” He seemed to be enjoying just feeling her hands for a moment. The classical music swelled and faded into a new piece of a similar feel to the last, but a faster tempo.

Jasper moved suddenly. With little warning, he was on top of Annabelle, straddling her hips. He had one knee pressed on either side of her ribs. He wasn't very heavy, especially not for a Brujah's strength to support. Annabelle's insides quivered in anticipation. She felt vulnerable, but she remembered all she had to do was say one or two words and he would stop. She understood finally what he had been planning. Jasper looked down at Annabelle, his icy eyes boring into hers. Her heartbeat sped up considerably. Her face flushed. She met his gaze, excited but steady. The degree to which she wanted this to continue bewildered her.

Slowly now, he peeled his hood off his head. Then his hands went to the zipper in the front of his hoodie and he slowly began to tug it down. Annabelle's eyes went wide as Jasper's chest was exposed. He was built of nothing but lean muscle. His flesh was as pale as death save for the starkly contrasting mass of black veins that criss-crossed his body like an insane roadway map. He had no body hair. He unzipped the hoodie down to the bottom, but didn't take it all the way off. This was a compromise, she realised. She had wanted to see what he looked like under his layers for a while, and he had always said no. This was an in-between he was allowing her.

She gave him a warm smile, but when she reached to touch him he stopped her. He gripped one hand in each of his and leaned down over her. He pinned her warm hands and wrists down with his deathly cold hands to the mattress above her head. He continued to watch her, as if daring her to say 'yellow' or 'red.' She didn't. His grip on her was strong. Their faces were close now. Annabelle was breathing hard.

Jasper bared his fangs and growled at her, as if trying to scare her. He was the monster from myth and legend, the deadly black shadow with razor sharp fangs who stalked helpless people at night and she was the young, naive victim. He was perhaps even trying to provoke her one last time into saying their safe word. She did look scared for a moment. There was fear in her eyes, in her Beast, but still she didn’t say either of the words that would make Jasper pull back. A true victim, she was no longer. Annabelle was allowing this to happen.

“Green?” he rasped, edging towards losing control.

“Green,” she nodded and tilted her head to expose her neck. Blood, warm blood, flowed there, and some of it at least, was his for the taking.

The music swelled again in the background as the choir reached a melodramatic crescendo. With a hungry snarl Jasper bit Annabelle hard in the throat. She gasped at the pain. Jasper had good aim. His long, wicked fangs had landed right on her jugular. He bit deep, and his mouth filled with Vitae. She was as sweet, strong and aroused as always, but this time her blood was body temperature. Jasper had never had warm Vitae from another Kindred before. His Beast exalted. He began to drink greedily, keeping an ear open for Annabelle wanting to end this early. He hoped she would not.

The pleasure of the Kiss soon followed, radiating out over Annabelle's body and making her moan. Her eyes rolled back in her skull. She flexed her arms against Jasper, but he still held her down, firmly pinning her to the mattress. Her body, still under the influence of Blush of Life, reacted as it normally would have to intense pleasure. Her heart hammered in her chest. Her pulse raced, sending vital blood into Jasper's hungry mouth. Her brain was very soon dizzy, but she didn't care. Her Beast scrambled, but was soundly ignored in the overwhelming wave of sensations. Annabelle didn't know if it was because of this new, intense situation or the anticipation that had led up to it, but the pleasure this time was near orgasmic. When she felt Jasper bite a little harder in his enthusiasm, it crossed that threshold and she crested with a cry. Annabelle's body trembled uncontrollably underneath Jasper's from her core outwards.

Jasper lingered on Annabelle's throat for a moment or two longer, then pulled his head back with a snarl. His fangs and tongue were painted a deep crimson. Annabelle only barely noticed this. She shivered when he licked her wound closed and he thought he heard her whimper. His Beast whispered at him to continue, that this had been the best he ever had, but he clenched his jaw and ignored it.

Jasper sat up and let her hands go. She didn't move them. She lay there still, breathing hard, eyes closed. Each exhale had a little moan attached to it. He watched her chest heave up and down for a minute. The music faded and changed again to a soprano singing backed by strings and a piano.

Annabelle opened her eyes and saw Jasper watching her. He was still straddling her hips. She smiled up at him. “Wow,” she mumbled. She lowered her hands and rested them on his knees on either side of her body. Jasper didn’t mind. He chuckled at her reaction. “I... mm...” Words were failing her as her blood-deprived brain swam in a haze of endorphins.

“Good?” Jasper confirmed.

Annabelle still couldn’t speak, but she nodded.

Jasper slid carefully off of her and sat on the bed next to her. He hadn't taken a lot of Vitae this time, but what he had taken was potent indeed. His head was also filled with endorphins, mainly from her, but he didn't have the Blush of Life to let his body do anything about it.

“I can't believe you let me do that,” he chuckled softly. He re-zipped up his hoodie, but only part way. He left the top third or so of it open. “I thought for sure you were going to stop me when I pinned you down.”

Annabelle stretched and smiled at him. Other than an internal scolding from her Beast, she was content, still reeling slightly from the pleasures she had been through. “But I didn't.”

Jasper relaxed down next to her on the narrow bed as best he could. He found himself playing a little with her long, black hair. Their bond had deepened again, he knew. At that moment, in that place, he did not care. “You liked it... rather a lot,” he remarked, still amused. His fangs, when Annabelle saw them, were clean now.

“Yeah...” Annabelle marvelled. She covered her face with her hands as embarrassment washed over her. The pleasure this time had been too, too much. “Oh my God!” he heard her muffled giggle.

“What?” Jasper inquired, though he was fully aware of what had happened to her body and why. He was having fun.

Annabelle peeked at him through her fingers. She was grinning. “Is that what you had planned?” she demanded.

“More or less, yes. I'm glad it worked.”

Annabelle groaned softly. “Did you know about... that I would...”

Jasper smirked. “I kind of suspected... but no, but it was a pleasant surprise.” He stroked a cold, pale hand down her arm to her chest, where it settled over her still-beating heart.

“Boy, I'll say,” Annabelle agreed.

Feeling Annabelle's magically enforced heartbeat made Jasper get very quiet and suddenly a little introverted. His eyes found the gold locket hanging around Annabelle's neck and the silver ring on her finger and he pulled his hand back. He got up and went to turn off the music and the lights so that they could settle into bed.

When dawn broke over the City of Angels, the majority of the population arose to begin their day of work and school and life, but Jasper and Annabelle were once again literally dead to the world. The two vampires shared the little bed, holding each other. Where their relationship would take them now, neither of them knew, but in that moment at least, they were content.

[flame-cat]

YDYD episode two

below the cut are all events of importance that transpired, preserved so that others may learn from the fallen gods’ mistakes

the goal is apparently to make a tower of pimps NIGHT 5 alfredo and jack are at home, jeremy and gavin are together underground, and trevor and geoff are as well jeremy accidentally mines out some lava, tells gavin to run.... who doesnt. thankfully they block it off michael is still in front of the tree of wife alfredo: "im outside at night and im unsupervised!" he immediately almost gets killed by a skeleton. michael takes care of it a zombie took some of the wheat from the farm ryan just wants everyone to be friends geoff: "ryan, dont you feed off anger?" ryan: "yeah, but only when i cause it" everyone is getting fucked by monsters michael is on patrol gavin and jeremy get separated alfredo runs back home and gets his mom- i mean jack to save him from the monsters jack is teaching his son- i mean alfredo how to farm and its adorable ryan got a bucket of lava the sun is rising. DAY 6 geoff found alfredo some redstone (daddy brings home a gift) michael makes a creeper noise and everyone freaks out (and blames alfredo) alfredo gets jumped by a skeleton trevor finds a danger cavity jeremy finds cave spiders and gets poisoned. he gets out ok alfredo runs into the cactus. cactus count- 1 trevor finds more lava jeremy thinks hes out of torches. turns out he had a full stack alfredo hears some liquid. everyone advises him to DEFINITELY dig straight down geoff finds lava and barely escapes a lava bath lindsay the ghost informs everyone about where "take it with a grain of salt" came from geoff: "why the fuck does a bird WANT cheese?" gavin: "to make friends" trevor made geoff a helmet jack nearly dies to a hoard of zombies and skeletons gavin finds diamond jeremy ascends to daylight michael nearly dies to a creeper ryan makes a shield jeremy joins alfredo in the house night falls. NIGHT 6 gavin keeps jinxing them all trevor is impressed with geoffs digging jack accidentally hits jeremy when trying to kill a creeper ryan is hurt very bad by a skeleton when trying to resurface. everyone is concerned gavin has resurfaced. he is a scared boi. then he figures out hes right next to the house ryan is veritably surrounded by mobs, still trying to get out. hes very hurt ryan considers eating rotten flesh gavin joins jeremy in guard duty, who warns him like five times to move out of the way of a creeper. he doesnt move, but lives ryan is near the surface at 1.5 hearts, waiting for daybreak jeremy insists gavin stop helping him alfredo joins the fray! jack is farming ryan surfaces DAY 7 geoff finds gold jack is mad about chests not being organized ryan genocides some chickens in desperation gavin makes a  sign- "No excessive rule making" gavin says hes going to make maps. jack immediately makes compasses for him it begins raining alfredo barely escapes his demise at his own hand via lava michael surfaces ryan is lost, but no longer hurt alfredo lavas himself again jeremy finds a jungle temple. and a pARROT geoff: "aPARROTly he did!" trevor makes a block of gold trevor makes a sign- "Geoff and Trev's Coal Hole" alfredo encounters squid. michael punks him into thinking theyre dangerous ryan makes a hovel of stone jeremy spelunks the temple. night falls NIGHT 7 gavin makes two diamond swords and gives one to michael michael: "we might squabble, but we're always friends" everyone else asks if its a proposal jeremy narrowly avoids a trap jeremy tamed a parrot gavin gets lost in the wilderness and is nearly killed by a spider (ONE HEART) before he manages to run away jeremys parrot gets blown up geoff finds diamond these things happen almost simultaniously. my heart is gonna explode as soon as gavin gets back, alfredo accidentally hits michael jeremy is desperate to get home and basically sprints between mobs alfredo spots a gold armored zombie gavin escorts jeremy home what the fuck is alfredo doing. he just dug a hole in front of the house and is jumping up and down, peeking at gavin. what a fucking maniac ryans hovel is almost habitable at this point alfredo is a worm. michael is cross wit him for breaking the cacti geoff has surfaced once again, jeremy warns gavin of danger. and gavin doesnt fucking move. alfredo: "i HEAR YELLING. DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE FROM BELOW?" jeremy; "NO, ALFREDO!" END OF WEEK ONE WEEK TWO DAY 8 ryan picks a fight with a spider for no reason. isolation stage one- delusions trevor surfaces and reunites with his twin jeremy gavin and michael are on sheep-shearing duty it stops raining geoff is working on a cow farm the twins make a racket with the doors ryan climbs a tree trevor walks into the cacti. cactus count- 2 the twins have made a hall of doors, the maniacs jack is farming trevor shows geoff a shield he made. dad is proud the lads are on an expedition in the jungle michael: "i hope that no degenerate wanderer comes and steals our mutton." ryan, quietly: "ahhhh meat..." geoff finds alfredos hole. dad sets his boys to work on the farm jeremy tries to convince michael to jump off a cliff into a pond. he says no but jeremy does it anyway. gavin watches from below aaaand he makes it. michael says fuck it and does it too alfredo has.... a secret underground lair of buttons????? jeremy finds a cat and has to split from the group to tame them gavin watches the sunset from the top of a tree NIGHT 8 alfredo has reached it (the floor of the house) trevor asks to come into alfredos crazy hole. its not finished yet ryan sees a light in the distance and thinks it might be gavin. its gavin and michael! ryan immediately tries to shoot them ryan bridges across the trees with wood to get to the lads, who use dirt to meet him alfredo runs into a cactus. cactus count- 3 "Alfredos super secret kingdom. nothing to see here" mom isnt allowed inside. but mom has pie so he can just set it outside it starts to rain jack and toriel parallels the tree of wife keeps trevor dry the lads fortify their tree jeremy breaks an egg and makes a chicken. now hes a parent alfredos kingdom gets backdoored by trevor and geoff mom gives dad some pie ryan remains separated, but leaves a parting shot. literally the sun rises DAY 9