#we don't even know what the externals do
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I haven't seen anyone mention this but Lena said the Mr. Bonzo was "one of" their Externals, meaning multiple. Considering their involvement in this episode's case, do you guys think Ink5oul might also be an External?
#the magnus protocol#mr. bonzo#ink5oul#idk I'm just spit balling here#we don't even know what the externals do#it would be cool if I was right though lol
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I bring a sort of "flawed female characters can be fun and enjoyable blorbos - both flawed in terms of having character flaws and in terms of having occasionally flawed writing" that it appears many, many, many people do not like
#i'm sorry for all the annoyance lately. i've been tired.#and a lot of the media i'm enjoying right now has focal female characters so i'm seeing the most absolute stupid takes of all time#anyways. cyan did have a character arc actually and her arc's flaws are largely similar to my criticisms of lin ling and yang cheng's arcs#so i don't appreciate the double standard#tianxi is just as interesting as tianchen if you actually read into her character the way one would for any underdeveloped male character#we don't even know anything about shao yuanyuan yet either why does everyone shit on her. i mean i get it i'm unimpressed with#her leaving her son behind - that is undeniably shitty. but there are so many who just don't want to see anything more of her. why???#yes wang qing got less screentime and marketing than hhh. but we actually have just as much if not more concrete info about her#than we do for any of those three. why is it that i mostly just see people complaining about her lack of screentime instead of#making five million headcanons for her the way hhh gets? :/#and like. all the arcane female characters. i'll admit i never did get as attached to caitlyn as i wanted to. but man.#i don't make arcane posts or interact with the fandom for a reason. the only female characters people seem to like are jinx and isha#mel has been done a great disservice in fandom imo. she is wayyy more interesting than just being beautiful.#and mizi is not a manipulator. wtf is your problem#i legitimately have no idea what kind of female character it would take to actually be considered good.#people want flaws but then completely misinterpret her. bad character writing means she's bad female rep.#it doesn't matter that people would lovingly take a guy with mediocre writing and give him a better arc. she's just “boring”#a male character can have the same internal conflict as a female character and everything about how she treats it is wrong.#writers then “play it safe” by giving their female characters external problems to overcome instead of internal ones#thus making her... “boring”. again.#same general issue applies to any character with a slightly darker skin tone too. doubly so for darker skinned women.#anyways. i am really scared for queen's arc honestly. i've already seen people being more excited for X than her#and shitting on her for being a “nepo baby” (???)#meanwhile i am concerned that they are going to play it too safe with her writing thus making her “strong woman” whose problems are#all external#that most of her drive will be related to the two older men in her life with no nuance (i'm hoping not but this is always a fear)#or that they will delve into a messier internal conflict and everyone is going to hate her except for the handful of people who#actually have a baseline understanding of women's issues. lmao.#liu yuwei get behind me.#storyrambles
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
forever hilarious to me that tennis is promoted as this prestigious highbrow big-brain sport when most tennis fans these days are like. yeah this is my favorite player. yeah i don't know why they're like that. yes they are stupid. no i will not choose somebody else.
#wta tennis#atp tennis#i feel like the era of...shall we say 'federer-esque' players is waning#which i think can in part be related to the loss of the one-handed-backhand#as the sport moves more toward a necessity for fitness and athleticism players do not put as much emphasis on 'art'#which imo is fine! i think the 'art' of tennis is too protected in some ways. which i maybe will expand on later.#but i think it's too much for the tags of a (mostly) silly post#but yeah you can hear a lot of commentators touch on it#i know nadal even said something abt it recently(ish)#but i think as tennis is gradually less associated with this abstract 'image' (e.g. the obsession with federer's 'grace' and 'class')#players are coming in thinking 'this is a physical battle and i am going to win' and very much leaning into the *competition*#which not to say that they're ignoring/denying the mental aspects at all because i actually do think many players are very strategic/aware#and in truth i think many tennis players ARE actually very smart#but i also think it's less apparent because more and more players are able to just hit the shit out of the ball and call it a day#which leaves you with the occasional shot/point/game/set/match etc where it seems like they don't know what the fuck they're doing#but you think about most sports which evolve in phases#it's very normal for certain player profiles to become more or less popular as the landscape of the sport changes#or as new techniques/strategies are developed#or as new communities/populations become interested!#extreme example but think of like. high jump's fosbury flop. that was one guy!#one guy who changed the entire fucking sport! so it makes perfect sense that tennis is continuing to evolve#given how many unique players have come and gone#and how much the sport is changing externally as well as internally#anyways. this got out of hand but i love sports and i love tennis and i love my brainless players.#this whole post was inspired by rewatching sabalenka v boulter and aryna completely missed an overhead by like five feet. lol#love her <3
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
>makes biggest ongoing project tied to a piece of media with a high barrier to entry that most of my irl friends don't give a shit about
>don't want to share all (i do share some) of the proper writing for it with online friends until it's time for the actual project to actually exist
>share with irl friends and my boyfriend
>lack of response from most people
>it's not even been 24 hours since sharing
>starts having A Big Fucking Moment over it
>ishestupid.jpg
#aluria.txt#and i KNOWWWW i'm being selfish here#i have trouble keeping track of irl friends' OCs and there are things my irl friends care about that idgaf about#I KNOW I'M BEING A HYPOCRITE HERE#IT'S NOT LIKE ANYBODY'S BEEN FORCING ME TO SPEND OVER A YEAR OF MY LIFE ON THIS#i do this for fun i don't need external validation this is intrisically rewarding except idk would still be nice to get more confirmation-#-that Yes I Am Doing A Good Job#and for some fucking reason instead of actually talking about it i'm melting down on Tumblr at 11:30 PM#i fucking notice who engages with my OCs when i talk about them in a server with irl friends i fucking notice who gives a shit about-#-something i'm very passionate about. but again like i already said I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMPLAIN I'M JUST BEING AN ANNOYING SHIT!!!#awwww is somebody mad that not everybody gives a shit about the same things as him? shall we throw a fucking party?#IDK WOULD BE NICE TO FEEL LIKE I COULD EXPRESS MY INTERESTS WITHOUT FEELING LIKE I'M BEING ANNOYING#I USE ONLINE SPACES A LOT FOR A REASON#it's probably nothing i'll be fine tomorrow morning after sleeping (lying. it's more likely i'll just go back to bottling it up)#or once the actual comic starts serialization and then over time i can watch people go nuts over the good shit i've been hiding#I'M FUCKING FIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE just selfish#none of the people i'm complaining about here use Tumblr often enough to be likely to see this and even if they do and i acknowledge this-#-rant is objectively a bad idea that i might regret later but what-fucking-ever idgaf about anybody else rn
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I aspire to be a lover not a hater. but
#long heavy exasperated siiiiiggghhh#I love seeing ongoing discussions around my blorbos#except for the fact that people canNOT stop being little haters#people talk about your favorite stan twin without bashing the other one challenge (failed. SO many times failed)#I get it people have favorites#but I think everybody should just stop. stop trying to compare the shit they've been through and arguing who had it worse#please I beg of you#first of all we don't have the full story for either of them and we never will#second of all. while their external experiences are very much important and some were very damaging#it's ultimately INTERNAL conflict that drives them both#and guess what sometimes internally you can be doing shitty even if everything seems fine on the outside#hell brain chemicals can go haywire literally because of bad luck and no other fucking reason#'oh Ford got everything he wanted out of college despite going to BMU he has no right to complain'#'oh Stan had somewhere to live for those thirty years and people who liked him for some of them'#okay maybe those periods of their lives were more stable than their respective drifter years#doesn't mean everything was automatically peachy#hell we don't know that Stan didn't occasionally secure a better job/place to stay at some point between pines pawns and gravity falls#we don't know if some of the dimensions Ford visited were more peaceful and hospitable#I'm not necessarily saying either of these things are true I'm saying WE DON'T KNOW#ugh I was going somewhere with this and then I got lost in a rant#ultimately neither of them would have settled if given a chance because they were after something more#I do think there's potential in exploring the moments of good that happened in the bad times and the moments of bad that happened in the#good times and I think that's actually way more compelling than 'everything sucked all the time for X twin for Y years'#nope still haven't quite gotten back to my original point#which is STOP IT WITH THE OPPRESSION OLYMPICS. STOP STOP STOP STOP#okay rant over
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
truly something that, amidst facing / going through a dramatic Life Change ft. unavoidable emotional effects of that, there are instances where i can't conceal any & all degrees of being distressed / upset, & repeatedly getting "it's hard for me too" as a Direct Response to that: really something & a half how the asserted theoretical Sympathy of [i feel similarly!] is invoked so as to, oh you know, preclude sympathetic Treatment. such as that what would be More sympathetic in these instances would be to say Nothing, "if there's nothing but dismissal / making it first & foremost about someone else's feelings to say, don't say it at all" style
#reading also that original Lovelessness essay ''love is meant to make me human / love is also the mechanism by which my humanity#has been denied'' always preferring to have [sorry! couldn't fully bottle up this Emotiona externally manifesting at all!] Ignored rather#than ''nicely'' interacted with so as to Invalidate; Dismiss; someone's annoyed at you for having it; etc#for bonus context like we are not in the same boat with it.#not a case of ''the same situation; mine is worse though'' like no; fundamentally different situations here lmao. mine is worse#If You Feel So Bad. Or At All. then at least now do me the favor of Not Saying That; Repeatedly#their feelings put on me too in other ways. stewing resentment into lashing out; tossing out ''but i'm justified'' like ok! Your business!!#the ol like. If You're Going To Do Something Anyways then how you justify it to yourself is Your business / b/w you & your god as they say#& the last thing to do is be making it the problem of ppl Most Affected by what you're gonna do anyways & Also ask their Absolution.....#like if you need more moral support abt What You're Doing Anyways: turn to Anyone Else. even No One if you have to.#bit going tf through it when it's spilling over into Posting but such is life!! we all have that [the horrors. girl help] blogger on dash#again the tl;dr like oh you don't say. the [umm but have you considered? My Feelings! (they're so sympathetic at all. yor welcome)] is#the mechanism through which Really basic sympathy is being denied & replaced with [Saying Nothing would've been less hurtful]#misgendering me the other night too while Also all 'hey I'm trying to talk to the customer service. why are You going up & talking first'#(that was me experiencing the latter. i didn't say it but i was like cmon. my glasses are fogging up w/surgical mask (don't have access to#more effective masks so doing what Nonzero i can there) i'm a bit carsick i'm weathering a crisis. can i have anything here lol)#just Oh You Know. The Horrors....#balancing ofc trying to endure trying to self soothe etc etc. with ''it's the horrors. it's gonna be horrific & you're gonna be affected''#ah the [being kind to oneself] like also means knowing how reasonable it is to Not solo contain & endure & Cope Through everything....#crushing a paper cup in my hands genuinely i would like to generously thank my virtual allies out here today. mic feedback#irl In Real Life? life is Real asf here & nobody Realer than them
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bare with me, I've got an idea that combines TFP Shockwave's invention of the cortical psychic patch, what motivation a Shattered Glass Shockwave might have made it, plus more broad cybertronian biology headcanons and how it lead to the invention of the cortical psychic patch in the first place-
Um... let's go!
To start, let's go in reverse order by talking cybertronian biology, or more specifically the more wire based functions of a more literal less sex version of interface panels. Because cybertronians are biomechanical aliens who's only method of 'reproduction' canonically (in most series) is through being birthed by the planet itself - on hold while Primus and Cybertron are dead - when I say 'interface panels' I mean panels housing plugs and ports that are typically there for medical stuff and otherwise data transfers or for use in hardware depending on the individual. The number of panels is relatively consistent and the number of in/out connections depends on the size of the bot (more for larger frames, less for smaller) and are kinda paired to whatever systems they are nearest location wise; two on either side of the hips or one each at the top of the legs, two on either side of the chest or one each at the top of the arms.
Depending on the location you can read the diagnostics of that part of the frame in more detail than if you tried investigating the same part in an entirely different panel; you're gonna get a more accurate read on damages to the left arm in the left arm panels then you are on the right leg. And for particular frames, the interface panels are used to control objects using the relevant limb or part - like a robotic arm to lift things heavier than your frame can handle - and probably even to have your frame be used AS a limb; combiner limbs would connect to whoever's the main body and interface with the relevant limb panel.
But there are panels that are explicitly medical use only, that being internal panels adjunct to the sparkchamber as well as another for specific monitoring of a cybertronian's organs, and paneling at the back of the helm or where it meets the neck for the processor and all the delicate software it holds. Bots with medical programing like Ratchet can interface with those panels directly in the event of a lack of resources (AKA the entirety of Transformers: Prime), and in fact the panel along the sparkchamber would be the easiest way to get a general systems check on a patient. Mecha like Knock Out who may or may not have actual history with being a medical doctor probably would have a harder time directly interfacing with the more delicate sparkchamber, organ, and processor panels, but he and Ratchet (and other bots with even the vaguest sense of medical training) can set up a line running to a monitor or sparkreader or any other medical hardware to fully take in a data analysis, even if it means more resources are used or that vulnerabilities could be introduced.
To the processor panel, much like brain surgery you kinda need a signal in the first place in order to get a read on it's damages, hardware or software. A spark read can let you know if the body is alive and all the damages that IT can diagnose for a general check, but operating on an offline or barely awake processor can lead to issues that you may not even be aware of at the time of procedure. It's why a direct connection (with appropriate medical coding) is better for processor diagnosis as the hardware bypass might have a signal delay between patient and doctor.
And here's where the cortical psychic patch comes in.
When Megan was otherwise comatose, the cortical psychic patch was able to allow access into his processor that had been percolating with activity (one described by Knock Out to be like 'a dream he may never wake from'), and though far from being an actual medical use of the patch it did allow for a non-medical bot to access the processor of a very much comatose patient. It was even Ratchet himself - resident medic of the Autobots - that knew how to create the patch even if it was banned for Autobot use.
Keeping in this reverse order, perhaps a SG Shockwave had invented the cortical psychic patch for an intended medical use, a tool meant for mecha who may not have been forged nor coded to BE medics but have enough training to be such (typically self-taught in the early stages of revolution, then mentored by forged medics when the war really picked up speed) in order to allow direct access to the processor interface panel. The design of it would be - rather than a plug that just magnetically sticks on to the back of a cybertronian's head - would be a series of plugs and ports of mostly universal design, adjustable to a degree for multiple frames, allowing the medic irrespective of coding to have full access to diagnose what the fuck is up with the processor.
Unfortuneately for SG Shockers (and fully intentional by TFP Shockwave) the patch isn't quite as synonymous as the medic's coding is to processor interfacing, being rather invasive of a connection even as it is, let alone the patch being more of a hardware connection which in of itself introduces vulnerabilities. Heck, it's not even safe for the operator themselves to use the patch, seeing as how Bumblebee got a head full of Megan; I mean, Bumblebee isn't a trained medic, but the fact that it happened at all is evidence to it's flaws. And that's to a patient who isn't of mind enough to struggle, Shockwave himself says that resisting the patch may cause damage to the patient/subject, combine that with the second option of 'let it happen and let them walk unabated in your head' and you're pretty much shit out of luck.
The base Shockwave would most certainly be fully aware of the intent, a direct hardline to an individual's processor is most definitely a connection to some very vulnerable software and thus information, the cortical psychic patch probably battling a lot of firewalls off with the ease of a medical interface. And in the base TFP universe, Autobots with only recent war-based medical training as opposed to previous education probably early on DID resort to using the patch as a crutch, Ratchet after all knew how to make one. It's probably a combination of Shockwave's brutal interrogation method USING the cortical psychic patch and the relatively inexperienced Autobot medics opting to use direct processor interface rather than the comparably safer hardware bypass that lead to it's banned status in the Autobot ranks, too many 'Bots were having trauma responses at the hands of young medic's servo's who didn't know any better and actively resisting the patch, which just so happened to lead to more Autobot casualties and thus probably shellshocking the medics in training to get them to fear the daunting prospect of actually losing a patient by THEIR OWN hands.
It's one thing to be using a tool made by someone who has been known to do lots of dubious shit, it's another to see a tool that you made to help be manipulated into an interrogation technique, made all the worse now that you have significantly more emotional capacity to not only feel guilty but feel solely responsible for the patch induced trauma of your own allies; the cortical psychic patch was banned by the Shattered Glass Decepticons for about similar reasons, but it's near worse for a lot of medics (even the experienced ones) had been relying on it solely for the fact that they weren't forged with the coding. The stagnated use of the cortical psychic patch in the base verse was mostly because Shockwave himself had been the inventor of it and main user of the patch, the Autobots avoiding it's use for the ban and the Decepticons not very experienced with the tool. In Shattered Glass however, the only real limit to it's perpetuity would be if the Autobots managed to learn how to create the patch at all, which if even in the base verse Ratchet knew how to make one, probably means that there's more than enough patch use in SG even if Shockwave gets caught in a spacebridge explosion or not.
And that's that I think- funny to talk about interface panels in a transformers post without doing it in a sex way haha- I just want these guys to be alien 😫
#shockwave#tfp shockwave#shattered glass#tfp shattered glass#transformers#tfp#maccadam#xenobiology#i like to conceptualise that there are 6-8 maybe interface panels at a minimum#with a number of ports and plugs that i haven't determined yet but maybe depending on what panel 4ish? idk#i would probably not count because the number might seem off so i'll just say that there's probably a few each#even though i mentioned interface panels in more of a machine or medical way i guess technically it can be used for recreation#those tend to be the external panels though or if 'intimate' aka low-key dangerous and definitely vulnerable#it would be through the sparkchamber panel/s that a doctor would not recommend you doing all willy nilly#even though ko actually goes ahead and implies 'interfacing' is akin to human sex (see 'plus one')#i do believe it's more 'how do i translate what i see to what words i know' plus 'this is a kids show we can't say sex'#the act of connecting one person to another? interfacing#because these bitches are alien they still have interfacing panels in altmode#it's wherever their limbs go and if their spark is anywhere near where the people go#since two wheelers and open four wheelers (like quad bikes and technically dune buggies) don't have a cabin#you're not gonna particularly find any paneling inside a cockpit or under a roof#you could probably have some 'technically' internal panels but functionally not not THE internal panels#internal panels would be actual organ and brain stuff not paneling that happens to reside inside a cockpit or in a dashboard#all these tags are talking about the details of interface panels i realise this post isn't completely about the panels#i would say in recreational interfacing between bots or through hardware you're not gonna be able to access a lot of stuff medics can#unless you're a super hacker like soundwave your firewalls prevent fuckers from reading your mind and can only really be described as#feeling what it's like to have another person's frame which is- technically intimate i suppose#sparkchamber to sparkchamber you might get some extra with the same stipulation that sparkchamber panels offer a global general check#still up to the behest of actual medical coding (or hacker mode) to get actually 'interactive' between systems but you get a bit more info#on the other through sparkchamber connections
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
y'know. i don't often hate the way my brain is and how difficult it makes certain things for me.
i do a little today though.
#i'm probably going to feel this way the rest of the week#got some Stressful Stuff on my plate - none of it is world ending no matter what my brain thinks#but it's stressful and needs to get done#we already took care of One of the big major things just today because i was having a breakdown about it#because peeks threw up on my favorite shirt after having thrown up all over my bed yesterday and i'm like#she does this when there's a lot of change and stress going on and we've just moved and also we're attempting peace negotiations between he#and Solaire and it's. y'know. hampered by the fact that she's poorly socialized and both of them are dumb as rocks#and so she's stressed out because of the myriad of changes happening to her#and i'm stressed out because she's stressed out PLUS all the other bureaucratic nonsense i have in my brain#AND there's external stress in my foundkin (we're workshopping ways i can integrate the Family Label to apply to folks who weren't terrible#to me when i was a child) and it's just like#i had a really good day yesterday#i've been having pretty good days in general and i knew the crash would come and i knew that i'd get stressed about these things to the max#and that's. like. I know the science and paths behind how we got here#but i also hate that i'm here in this mindset with these things and i also cannot do the laundry myself after all#first because stairs are not always conquerable (they are Exceptionally Not For Me as of yesterday to the point where i'm going to have to#limit myself to the bathroom that doesn't have 2 stairs down to it even if it's closer in the moment)#and second because i ABHOR the texture of tide pods but i cannot deny that they are useful and so much easier to use/keep tidy#than a jug of Cleaning Goo is#so like. i'm embarrassed that all my bedding needs washing and i'm embarrassed that my shirt needs washing#and i'm embarrassed that i make dirty clothes in general and i *am* getting over that#it's slow but the fact that physically laundry is not a task i can complete on the wet side of things#(i still really enjoy the process of folding and sorting though i don't get around to it quickly)#but like. this is one of the reasons why i get freaked out about the fact that i create laundry that needs doing#even if it's not actually my fault (i'm trying very hard to remember it's not my fault the cat threw up on my clothes#and them being put away would have meant she probably would have thrown up on something else that needed to be cleaned#like the bed for example - i cannot put my whole bed away so she doesn't throw up on it)#becuase i feel like i'm burdening someone else to do a whole bunch of work for *me* and i can't do anything in return#(as if i haven't been very deliberately trying to keep up with the dishes daily this whole week so i don't feel like i contribute nothing t#the household)
1 note
·
View note
Text
Look at Leo singlehandedly (or nearly singlehandedly. Busquets is there too and it's hilarious seeing how unaccustomed he is to how low the bar is in the MLS and Miami just signed Jordi) take the worst club in the league—the one that's literally dead last—to first place. It's going to be hilarious.
And the petty vindication I'll feel when that happens will be great. People can finally shut the hell up about how Leo's brilliance will fade/has faded when he's out of a system that was essentially constructed around him and for him to win. I'm sure the argument has shifted to "Well, the MLS sucks so of course he'll look amazing and in fact look even better than usual," but it doesn't hold any water because many former greats have tried to make a big splash in the MLS and none actually succeeded to the degree that Leo's already changing things.
#people really thought they had a point when he went to psg as if he even wanted to go there and there weren't other external factors at play#and as if he still didn't play well even if it wasn't to the standard we expect of him#and as if he still wasn't breaking records over there#where are all the 'but could he do it on a cold rainy night in stoke' people now#look at what he's doing with mid to even horrendous clubs#and teams (sorry to argentina but we know that this era isn't exactly the strongest of squads we've ever seen)#your favorite can genuinely never (they can score a lot of goals sure but not control the game#or they can control the tempo and passing or defend but they won't score the crucial goals needed to save the team)#FINALLY won the world cup which was the only thing that eluded him and kept those ridiculous people from calling him a GOAT#and i wouldn't be surprised if he shattered 9823738279832 records and massively changed things for the MLS#i talked about potentially dragging inter miami to the upper rankings on the table if not the league title itself#but on a game level....there's no way that clubs can stand by and let leo destroy their defense like paper every match#they're going to have to level up if they don't want to be mauled#so it'll be interesting to see the ripple effects of his stay here
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#forgot i had one more uhhhh idk personal update post?#lemme give you a quick meaningless rant to bury the tags i want to be less visible#i think my mom's finally over the dementia hump and i am worried about how to handle that since i'm apparently#the designated problem solver for this family#but idk how to solve that problem idk what you do when someone has dementia and refuses to see it#like i have no problem financially taking care of it for her i just don't know how to social part of it works#anyway we had our monthly team meeting today#and my boss kept bringing me up!#he was very nice but also i'm easy to embarrass!#and it's setting off my weird neuroses where i convince myself everyone's gonna hate me#as soon as i stop being perfect#IN MY DEFENSE this truly happened a year ago!#so that is not me being paranoid...#my true goal in life is to find that ideal level where like...#i outperform your average person enough to be noticed#but not so much that i eventually burn out#and i fear it is unrealistic :(#BUT for now my two main projects at work are both department expo projects for our organization-wide presentation coming up#and they are watching far too closely to see if my proposal wins for my external project#so i am scared of crashing and burning#even though i've gotten almost nothing but positive feedback in my entire time here
1 note
·
View note
Note
You've changed, man. I don't know what it is but some time in the past six months your shitposting got a bitter edge to it. Sure you could blame the political climate or world events on it but...I dunno. I used to scroll your blog to momentarily escape the hardships of today but now it feels like even you're not a safe place any more. I wish you luck on your journeys onwards but I'm sorry to say I cannot travel with you any more. Be well, puki, and I hope whatever troubles you passes.
Escapism is important and I try to offer that to a degree, but ultimately, I am a person. I experience hardships, I empathize with the worsening conditions of my world. As long as I care about things external to myself, I will subtlety, or blatantly express them in some way in my blog, which I’ve done for years, not merely 6 months.
Unbeknownst to you, these concerns are often the inspiration for some of my most beloved posts.
You’re free to leave of course, if my 1 serious post out of every 30 fucks your day up that badly, then please, feel free! - I simply don’t see my blog as escapist fluff, it never has been, even if that is often the outcome. My page has always been about my interests, and I just so happen to enjoy making people laugh.
I see it more as a fun place to hang out and express the feelings I feel inclined to express, most of which are fun and goofy, some of which are not. I love our little playful back-and-forths, and I enjoy seeing your insights, even if some of you are fucking stupid as shit. Sometimes I just like using you guys as little guinea pigs, testing my odd expressions out on you, and sitting back and seeing the outcome.
Ultimately, I try to balance balance 3 things on my page:
Comedy, as you know - I like making jokes, I like testing them out on people. Even if they suck, I like writing them regardless. Sometimes I sit back after writing something I know objectively sucks, hit send, and watch as everyone tells me how much it sucks. It brings me joy.
A desire for money - because if not, I wouldn't be able to make posts half as often as I do (ie, shirt sales, promoting my music, etc) - Sometimes that anxiety for money also bleeds into my posts, it has for years; and I hold back from being even more desperate about money than I feel I should be sometimes.
And the point you brought up: The occasional comment on something real that matters to me. - Over the past 3 years, if not longer, I’ve made a few uncharacteristically-serious statements on things like Covid, Gaza, The Presidency, hell, even the indigenous people of Australia... and more.
Why do I feel inclined to discuss these things? Because I want to. My page has always been about what I want. Fortunately for you, what I usually want to do is to make you laugh! But sometimes I wish to express other feelings, because I have a platform that allows my voice to travel further than that of others!
For those angry at all the qualms I don't bring up, try to understand my balancing act, as someone who understands your desire for escapism, and the comfort that it brings you. If the veil falls, remember, we are of like-company - - and maybe, this veil was only ever in your head to begin with.
5K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! I remember you saying at some point (I think, on the podcast?) that just realizing you have ADHD helped you to deal with it because you found some practices and techniques to help it, even without medication - or something along these lines, do I remember correctly?
Can you tell, which techniques? I seem to be somewhat resistant to medication (tried all options we get in the country I'm in, and improvement is very minimal), so I'm interested what else can be done there just to make it manageable
Caveat that every ADHD person is different so what works for me might not work for you, but this is what I've found helpful:
Break up Executive Dysfunction and fight Time Blindness by SETTING TIMERS. I have a fitbit, and on days I can feel my brain being restless and uncooperative, I set a ten minute timer on it. When it runs out, I set another one, and so on. It buzzes on my wrist, so it's hard to ignore, but it's not gamebreakingly distracting so it doesn't ruin my mood if I'm on a work roll. A brief, tangible reminder that time is passing can help me snap out of a break period or, if I'm working, give me a feel for my rate of progress. I can also use that reminder to take stock of if I need to eat food, get up and stretch, or lie on the floor for a bit to reset.
Take SMALL, LATERAL BITES OF PROGRESS. If you're having a hard time working on something, feel out what else you might be able to make headway on. Maybe you've got some writing notes you could jot down to build on later. Maybe there's a tiny item on the day's to-do list you could cross off quickly. Maybe there's a text or an email you've been meaning to fire off, or you've got a mild itch to doodle something in a sketchbook. Any progress is better than no progress, and even if you're just on your phone on the couch, you can get a lot of good work done just jotting down thoughts in the notes app. The lateral element is also very important; if you're fixating too hard on the ONE thing you're SUPPOSED to do, you can trap yourself in a spiral of how it's what you're SUPPOSED to be working on but it feels IMPOSSIBLE. Literally let yourself do anything else. Don't trap yourself with "it's either doing your responsibility or it's NOTHING." Your work is not a plate of broccoli you're not allowed to leave the table without eating. Give yourself permission to un-imprison yourself.
Related, If there are external factors on the responsibility - like an outside deadline or a team of people you're working with waiting on your stuff - don't be afraid to let them know where you're at, or if you're uncertain you can make the deadline as stated, even if you think your "brain is not working" reason isn't good enough to justify the delay. Most people are extremely chill about it, and some of them will even offer to help or make it easier for you in some way. "Struggling with deadline" is not an ADHD-only experience. It is one of the most relatable human experiences, and basically everyone will be inclined to help you out.
ANY PROGRESS IS BETTER THAN NO PROGRESS. LARGE projects can feel extremely overwhelming because you know you can throw everything you've got at them for a day or even a week and it still won't be finished, and if you've got that shadow looming over you, you might sink into a malaise of "I can't finish it and that means I can't even bring myself to start it." The best way to fight that is to make ANY progress in ANY direction. Every large project can be broken down into bite-sized chunks. Anything feels overwhelming if you see it as an unassailable monolith. Work you do now is work you don't have to do later.
CHECKLISTS. It's hard to hold a large list of things that need your attention all in your head at once. It is unbelievable how helpful it is to just write them down somewhere obvious, and when you're done with something, CHECK IT OFF. Don't erase it, leave it visible that you FINISHED it.
Tell your anxiety to CALL YOU BACK. This one's weird, but when I'm stuck stressing over something, I've found it legitimately works to pull up my schedule and pencil in "worry about <thing>" for a specific date and time. My brain registers that SOMETHING has been resolved and nothing has been outright dismissed or ignored, so it settles down. When the time rolls around, the source of the anxiety is still there, but the feeling of anxiety itself has been drained out of it.
On a related note, this might not be an ADHD thing, but I've found it's very useful to Avoid Anxiety And Guilt Spirals by HOLDING COMPULSIONS AT ARMS' LENGTH. I picked this up from some readings on OCD, which is in the category of "I don't seem to HAVE this to a diagnosable degree, but some of the structures were at one point familiar to me." It's good to be aware that, if your brain keeps circling back to any given thought that distresses you, that is structurally an obsession, and if in reflexive response you have a desire to do a specific thing to mitigate that feeling, that is structurally a compulsion. This includes things like "I bet my friends think I'm annoying - I should message them something fun and casual to see if they still like me." Or "I'm worried about the state of the world - I should check the news so no new horribleness blindsides me." The compulsion might contain a sensible thing to do; checking in on your friends is good, keeping up with world events is smart. But done AS a compulsion, it reinforces the anxiety cycle. Even when it results in something neutral or positive, it only confirms that this innocuous thing is your only lifeline over a yawning abyss of terror and stress, because if this time it was fine, it must be because THIS time your vigilance Saved You. So you'd better do it next time, too, because there WILL be a next time, and you might not be so lucky twice, right? The way to stop this cycle is to weaken it over time by, when the obsession pops up (a random reminder of a stressor, an old fear) and the compulsion is prompted, do not do it, no matter how reasonable it seems. Hold the compulsion at arms' length, becoming aware of what the obsession wants you to do and why. Similarly, sit with the awareness of the obsession. You are having an unpleasant thought, but having a thought does not make it inherently meaningful in any way. It doesn't mean you're actually in any danger, any more than you were before you had the thought. It's discomfiting because it removes the salve of the compulsion from the sting of the obsession, but in the medium to long term, it withers the cycle at the root and makes the entire process loosen its grip. Then you can do things like talk to your friends and check the news without it being underlaid with the sting of panic and desperation; they are, after all, neutral activities with typically beneficial consequences, not lifelines over the abyss. It might startle you when, months later, an intrusive thought pops up that used to send you spiralling into misery for hours or days, but now it feels irrelevant - even absurd - and easy to disregard. It really does work, and it's surprising how many things you can untangle this way.
Avoid boredom time prison by HARNESSING HYPERFIXATIONS. My most controversial take, but I think if your brain is desperately hungry to do This One Cool Thing Today, it's a good idea to let it. Even if that means you spend the whole day drawing fanart or bingewatching a show or baking croissants instead of Getting Work Done, the benefits you reap from just letting your brain tap into the rare Infinite Dopamine Opportunity usually outweigh any and all work slowdowns that result from taking the impromptu day off. When your brain works in the ADHD way, your enthusiasm is a vital fuel to keep it running. You need to have energy and joy in your life, energy and joy to spare and spend on things that may not be inherently energizing. If you have the option to spend a day doing something ridiculously fun, fill up that tank and reap the productivity benefits for the next week straight.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
୨୧ You're NOT Desperate ୨୧





ꨄ˚。⋆୨୧⋆ ˚。⋆ Hey you, yes you! Stop obsessing over symptoms, and angel numbers, and any other "sign" from the universe. You don't need any of that to tell you what you are; you don't need that validation. You are more than capable of making your dream life happen, YOU. Not a number, not a twitch, not a random picture that popped up on your Pinterest feed. YOU.
You are not desperate, you're not sad and needy looking for someone or something to tell you what you need to hear. You are not desperate, you have infinite power.
Stop relying on validation from external sources you don't need them. Newflash, numbers don't shift your reality, symptoms don't shift your reality. But you know what does? YOU do!
You are the universe, you are powerful, you are GOD, you are everything but someone who can't even assume the life that they want. Do you realize how easy we have it? Anything you could possibly want is yours, if you decide that it is.
And another thing stop stop STOP relying on "symptoms." I hate the fact that the term even came about in the shifting community. The twitching, itching, whatever it may be that you feel is just your body being relaxed/falling asleep. Those are NOT indicators that you are shifting. Why on Earth would you let something/someone else hold YOUR power in their hands? What is it? Are you afraid? Do you not believe that it can be THIS easy for you? Well, it is. Acknowledge that, accept that, assume that, and be that.
Never forget who you are and what you're capable of.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
*Tim and Kon sitting on one of the couches in Titan's Tower*
*Kon suddenly turning to Tim*: Tim my best bro, you need to help me.
Tim: Sure. What's going on?
Kon: There is this guy I really really like but I just don't know how to tell him because everytime I flirt with him he thinks I am just joking and whenever I ask him to go out, just the two of us he answers me with: "Oh! This and this friend will love that! We should totally all go together.".
Tim internally freaking out: He likes guys? He likes a specific guy? Wait, does this mean I could have a chance with him? No, that's stupid he already said he likes someone else. Does this mean that I'm not even an option when Kon likes guys? No why am I only thinking about what this means for me? I am a horrible friend and-
Tim externally: Well what exactly do you like about him?
Kon *with a soft smile*: Everything. He's smart, somehow handsome and pretty at the same time, he is strong and good at fighting and sometimes he does things that just infuriate me and we argue but he is probably the best thing that ever happend to me and if he asked me to become supervillains and take over the world with him I would so without a seond thought.
Tim *literally crying on the inside because he's pretty sure he could be all of these things if he tried*: Then tell him that. After that say something like "I really like you and wanted to ask if you would like to go on a date with me sometime" If he still doesn't get it after all that then he is probably just not interested in you but too nice to outright say it.
Kon suddenly seriously looking Tim in the eyes: Tim, you are smart, somehow the most handsome and prettiest man i have laid my eyes upon at the same time, you are strong and and so good at everything you do and Rao you infuriate me sometimes but I wouldn't change anything about you for the world because you were there every single time I needed someone and I'm afraid ou are my favourite person and that I would sacrifice everything for you. You are my biggest weakness. My Kryptonite. I really really like you, and wanted to ask if you would like to go on a date with me sometime.
Tim: Yeah. Just like that. I'm sure whoever this mystery guy is will instantly fold. Sorry Kon, I think you're gonna have to excuse me now because Bruce wants me back in Gotham.
*Tim runs away to cry in his room and then mope about his crush for the next 2-17 buisness days*
Kon left behind head in his hands: Dude...Just tell me if you don't like me.
Kon is completly convinced that Tim knows how he feels since he is literally the best detective in the world (Yes. Even better than Batman) and there is absolutely no way he didn't get Kon's confession. Tim does infact not know.
Much to the infuriation and pain of everyone that somehow knows them it takes them another three weeks to realize their feelings are mutual and in fat not unrequited.
Except Cassandra: She had guessed the date excactly right and she won a lot of money. (there was a betting pool)
#wow this post got a lot longer than i planned to#timkon#tim drake#tim drake x conner kent#timothy drake#conner kent#red robin#superboy#dcu#dc universe#batman#batfamily#batfam#cassandra cain#superman#young justice
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
do you think Falin's chimerism would affect her lifespan and behaviors? or just her body? maybe she can make more animalistic noises or has vague dragon-like instincts?
that’s a really good question! I think we could probably figure this out by taking a look at what we know about Falin, what we know about red dragons, whether these things would apply to Falin, and go from there.
The obvious external changes Falin has are: her eyes, her teeth, and her feathers.

It’s hard to pin down what Falin is like! Throughout the duration of the manga, she wasn’t really a character so much as a plot device. We have almost nothing told from her point of view, and the majority of her unbiased (as in, we’re seeing her through a neutral lens and not another character’s perception of her) characterization is from the post-canon omake.


Even Falin believes that her wanderlust might come from her dragon side, but she's not sure. Personally, I think it’d make a lot of sense if it kind of does, in the sense that she has 20/20 vision now, haha! For most of her life, she could probably only see clearly within a relatively small sphere surrounding her, and now she can see everything. She can look up and around freely in a way she couldn’t before. Fuck man, if I had magic lasik I’d probably go out more too.



Some other quirks that are really unclear whether it’s typical for Falin or chimera-influenced:
she enters rooms through windows, sometimes. And given the leaves in her hair, I think it’s reasonable to assume this is not the first floor 💀 But who knows! Maybe that’s not new for Falin.
She points out that Laios’s scent could deter monsters. Maybe she has enhanced smell. But again, it isn’t unreasonable to think this is something she would have said before. (I think even Chilchuck and Izutsumi, whose senses of smell are enhanced, can’t identify scents well. Kuro, however, can.)
VIOLENCE! But again, we’ve seen her beat shit with her staff before, and she also used to wield a flail. It IS a trait for red dragons to fight any large threat, so if anything, she’s got even better monster fighting instincts than before. I don't think this would carry over to people. Falin has always been better with people, and I'm personally not a fan of seeing her depicted as territorial or possessive. Marcille is already the possessive one, and didn't need dragon blood to be like that.

Ultimately, I don't think her dragon traits extend much farther beyond this. Especially when you consider How Little the dragon is represented as in her conscience.

it's not like it's a 50/50 split. She's like a person with a dragon ratatouille. I don't think she'd be able to make dragon noises. I don't think her body is built for that. I know there's like, a set list of tropey characteristics that are given to almost every non-human character in fiction. and sure that's FINE but they tend not to be especially personalized to the character, and tend to just be an excuse to write them OOC. Like, sure, dragons may have instincts regarding sleep habits, hunting, courting, raising young, etc etc, but so do humans! And we don't compulsively act on every instinctual whim we have. I don't see why it'd be any harder for her new dragon instincts.
If anything, I think she'd feel more affected by the fact that she has part of the demon in her.

I don't think Falin's in any sort of trouble. All the demon was was a way to communicate with people. Here, it's representing Falin's tether to the infinite realm, to mana itself. The winged lion no longer has the desire to consume anymore because, yknow, Laios has that now. This is very likely why she no longer needs to chant to cast magic.
But what else does this mean for her? She already had unusually high reserves of mana + an innate connection with spirits, but is her mana essentially limitless now? How would that affect her lifespan? I'm leaning towards, it wouldn't really?? But is she immune to mana sickness now? Is it more like her magic is just sort of amplified like it would be in a dungeon?
We can infer that having more mana doesn't increase your lifespan, because-- while elves and gnomes have both naturally high levels of mana and longer lifespans-- dwarves live longer but have lowest levels of mana of all.
So to answer your question! Maybe a little bit?? But I don't think she'd change a whole lot.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#long post#falin touden#laios touden#chilchuck tims#marcille donato#my art#comic
5K notes
·
View notes