#we don't even fully know their dynamic to even call it toxic

[dtaegis]

OMG the way I feel you on Eva x Iris. The way it’s been labeled toxic yuri when they’re not is criminal. THEY ARE ENEMIES TO LOVERS. And I’ve only seen ONE person besides you get that. Even if it being ‘toxic yuri’ started out as a joke, it stopped being funny a long time ago if it were ever funny to begin with. They’re enemies to lovers and the physical manifestation of the Barbie and Ken mugshot meme and I hope more people start to get that. Because I honestly might cry if I have to sit through more of people calling it toxic yuri or some variation. Because it feels like everyone is treating this ship as a punchline and others a punching bag. And it sucks so badly to see a ship get treated this way when it did nothing to deserve it

AND THE WORST PART???? THERE ARE PEOPLE HATING ON IT BC IT'S "TOXIC" WHEN IT ISN'T

my honest to God opinion on whether a ship is toxic is if there's some kind of imbalance or extreme (co)dependence. or. y'know. classic abusive things. iris and eva would be toxic if like, iris was a fan of hers and eva took that to her advantage for iris to drop investigating this criminal that's going around. THAT'D be toxic bc there's manipulation and power imbalance going on

but the cat and rat thing? just enemies to lovers! iris and eva to me read as cunty lesbians sherlock and moriarty honestly (the classic adc version), just 2 extremely intelligent people that are on opposite sides, but if it were for one small change, either of them could change sides

it has the potential to be the most interesting jd couple and we could get another queer couple, but nooo people have to label normal fucking ships as "toxic" bc Gor forbid a couple disagree on some things

also LMAO i love your interpretation of them being the manifestation of the barbie and ken mugshot meme. i need to see a drawing of it now

[saintsenara]

For unhinged and deranged ships: Snape/Bellatrix.

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i adore these two haters, and not just in a "toxic situationship which leaves dozens dead" way.

because - as the most delusional snapemort defender in history, who would also defend bellamort with my life - i think it's inherently plausible that snape spends his period as a death eater during the first war feeling profoundly jealous of bellatrix.

after all, she's the dark lord's favourite - and voldemort isn't exactly shy about this being known [she wouldn't run around yapping about he "calls me his most loyal, his most faithful" if she had even the slightest feeling that voldemort would murder her for leaking his pillow talk] - which means that, if you go in for the idea that he's sleeping with her, i think you can argue that he also permits her some degree of public physical affection. i don't think they're holding hands during acts of terrorism, or anything like that, but i do think that bellatrix is summoned away from group settings to join voldemort, everyone knows what they're about to get up to, and the dark lord doesn't care.

snape - in contrast - is kept as a pretty clandestine part of voldemort's operation. karkaroff can't think of anything specific to credibly accuse him of, sirius isn't fully convinced he could have been a death eater, and so on.

and this makes sense - it's clear that snape gets taken on by voldemort in a back-of-house role [to be a spy he can eventually place at hogwarts, and very probably originally to brew for him], and is peripheral to the more public-facing, combat side of voldemort's terror. which means that any time he spends with the dark lord is probably one-on-one - and any affection he receives from voldemort during these sessions [and look, i ship it...] is similarly private.

but it's also clear in canon that this order only continues for a few months after bellatrix gets out of azkaban, before things start to shift and she finds herself having to be the jealous one.

from the start of half-blood prince onwards, snape usurps bellatrix in voldemort's public favour [no matter what he's like with either in private]. and we know that she's not thrilled about this - not least because she's correctly worked out that snape's not trustworthy and voldemort's only response is to tell her to wind her neck in.

and we also know that snape fucking loves how annoyed she is - he's having the time of his life roasting her when she cockblocks narcissa by stomping around his front room [the line about "endless reminiscences of how unpleasant azkaban is"... a third-degree burn, i fear] - and that all of snape's best pairings feature that "we literally cannot stop hurling insults at each other, i will not rest until i've told them this next zinger, i am incapable of letting anything go" dynamic.

textbook enemies-to-enemies-who-fuck.

where this turns into enemies-to-lovers... is that both snape and bellatrix are clearly profoundly lonely people. and not only that, but profoundly lonely in strikingly similar ways - above all in that they're in love with someone who doesn't want them in the way they'd like to be wanted. i don't think bellatrix loses anything of her character - her cruelty, her temper, her resilience - if we also imagine her as a bit of a hopeless romantic [her joy at voldemort complimenting her - "no higher pleasure... that means a great deal, bellatrix, coming from you" - which vanishes when he turns it into an insult is but one example] who would jump at the chance to be mrs riddle. snape's unrequited love is well known.

neither of them seem to have friendships in which they're the priority - snape is close to lucius malfoy, but the relationship is nonetheless transactional; bellatrix clearly adores her sister, but she's secondary in narcissa's concerns to her husband and son. they live their lives in service to men who regard it as their duty to sacrifice themselves for their cause - snape with dumbledore, who may like him, but who also thinks of him primarily as a tool to bring about voldemort's defeat; bellatrix with voldemort, who considers her to have done the bare minimum in terms of loyalty to him by enduring fourteen years in azkaban [even though he also thinks this places her above all her fellow death eaters, who didn't even do that]. they both have experience of imprisonment - snape metaphorically, trapped in the school he doesn't seem to have particularly enjoyed and the childhood home he thought he'd escaped; bellatrix literally. they're both voldemort's exceptions in terms of the demographics of the death eaters - snape on account of his social class; bellatrix on account of her gender - which means that they depend entirely on maintaining the dark lord's goodwill and are peripheral to the elite male social group which makes up the rest of the inner circle.

and these similarities mean that they have a pretty high chance of being able to understand each other, comfort each other, and help each other move beyond their isolation...

until voldemort gets jealous, that is.

[magical-girl-coral]

I did the mistake of entering a blog that unironically reblogs confessional discourse posts and read a lot of stupid takes so here's me debunking them, I guess:

Why didn't the Bad Kids reach out to the Rat Grinders? - They did. Multiple times. The Rat Grinders were mean to them back so the Bad Kids dropped that plan. Ivy was racist about Mazey to hurt Fabian's feelings. Adaine called Oisin cool in one episode and then saw him murder Buddy the next. Fig and Kristen tried to recruit Mary Ann several times and she didn't give a fuck. Ruben fully tried to antagonize Fig when he first saw her because he could. They don't owe them to stick to people who were sucky to them.

From a mechanical standpoint, Brennan did this so they players won't waste time on them and move on to solve the mystery. From a story perspective, it was because the Rat Grinders refused to be saved. They were too brainwashed by rage and they refused to let it go. Even in the last fucking battle Fig tried to reach out as Wanda Childa and Ruben almost killed her with a ninth level spell. I'd say they were pretty fucking patient if you ask me.

The Bad Kids were too mean to the Rat Grinders in the final battle! - No, they were not. Oisin taunted Adaine about her greatest fears before trying to murder the entire student body. Ivy was racist in her last moments and called Mazey "objectively ugly." Ruben was an asshole to everyone he meets. Kipperlilly tried to get them all expelled since episode three. The Rat Grinders sucked as people when they were villains and the Bad Kids had every right to lose their shit.

Fig was too cruel to Ruben. Getting into his dreams was insane - One, Ruben was a villain NPC that won't stop threatening her party. She entered his dreams after he tried getting them kicked out of school by offering them drugs. Pete entered Kingston's dream palace after he threatened to take Pete if he gets out of line again. When PCs get threatened, they act out. Secondly, this is how the team finds out about devil's honey, one of the more important discoveries they've had yet. Her entering his dreams worked.

Thirdly, shatter star Ruben was a creep that dated his fans (an extremely uneven power dynamic) and then made songs out of being toxic in those relationships. Sandra Lynn, Fig's mother, had her life ruined by a man that tricked her into a toxic relationship with an uneven power dynamic. Insane that no one made this connection yet.

How could the Bad Kids kill them when they were forced into being Shatter Starred? - This one pisses me off the most because of how much this is based on hindsight. The Bad Kids didn't know the Rat Grinders were forced into the ritual. They canonically knew few things:

The Rat Grinders joined a rage ritual after their sophomore year spring break adventure

They almost definitely killed their cleric Lucy Frostblade

They famously hated the Bad Kids since forever.

They never went on real adventures and instead grind rats for their first year and then were power leveled by two teachers

Not once was it hinted none of them wanted to commit to the ritual. It was a popular fan theory but that's it. The only one who evidently didn't was Lucy and Yolanda and they found their bodies in the forest with runes written on their bones so they couldn't be brought back.

Isn't it weird how the Bad Kids did a 180 and asked the Rat Grinders to be brought back once the battle was done? - No. They only found out at the very last minute that the only one who did the ritual willingly was Kipperlilly after she died and her lack of a scar was revealed. This was at at the very end of the season finale. Of course the Bad Kids felt bad after they put 2 and 2 together and asked them to be brought back, they were the same way about Ragh and Awelyn when they found out more about their backstories.

It's so shitty of Brennan to not delve into any of the Rat Grinders' backstories - We still don't know if Jawbone is Tracker's biological uncle or not. We don't know if Sandra Lynn's family supported her after the scandal or not. We don't know the name of Ragh's father or any of the mothers' maiden names. A lot of NPCs in Fantasy High have a shit of information missing because only the plot relevant stuff comes up. Some NPCs are more relevant than others, that's just how it is.

I remember when people used to make forums to theorize about a character's past. We made OCs and new cities out of fun when the creators didn't. Where's the fucking joy, man? Where is the fucking whimsy?

I bid you all adieu with this:

Get in the fucking transcripts, for the love of god.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

They can't respect Ed's fear and distress because then that would mean Izzy had done something wrong, but also it would mean accepting that he even could be vulnerable in the first place, which too many people do not. "He's physically capable, so what's the risk to him?" type thinking that only looks at abuse and conflict like a simple test of physical strength rather than acknowledging the complicated emotional and psychological dynamics. I've seen some people refuse to accept that Izzy getting the crew to help him pressure Ed into killing Stede even *was* pressure, they don't accept that Izzy's threat could have been a fear at all. These same people have no concept of how much Jack was able to control Ed (leaving Stede, drinking when he didn't want to) without physical violence ever being a part of it. It's a cold-hearted way to treat Ed, especially knowing his background, and it's a completely ineffective way to understand the events of the show. And anyone who thinks it's "infantilizing" to acknowledge a character's fear is admitting they think fear is something for weak characters. Calling acknowledgement that Ed was being emotionally manipulated for years infantilizing is admitting they think people in toxic relationships are weak.

Yes! Say that!

It's very blatant that they assume that Izzy's manipulation and abuse of Ed wasn't "that bad" and they trip over themselves to make up justifications for why they don't care about Ed's fear and pain and hurt. It doesn't matter that Ed has been wildly successful in a very violent field; the show makes sure we know he's still a person who is just as vulnerable to being manipulated and hurt as anyone else, and that doesn't make him weak, it makes him human.

It's very telling that these metas never seem to fully grasp that Ed's a human person with human reactions, but they never have trouble assigning all kinds of sad backstories and trauma to Izzy to justify his actions.

[genericpuff]

Do you know "Eggnoid"? It's a rather old webtoon about a girl being put into circumstances on taking care of a robot guy who hatched from an egg (hence the title) the robot guy appears to be a grown man, but he has mental capabilities of a toddler and even acts like one. So, it's like those types of "born sexy yesterday" tropes but the gender reversed. The girl also repeatedly shown crushing over the robot guy and at some point, she called him her boyfriend despite she's supposed to be his caretaker.

I haven't read it, but I can definitely attest that there's a double standard when it comes to gender roles and age gaps / situations of grooming / etc. in literature but especially in webtoons. And by that I mean I've legit seen people hold comics like Lore Olympus accountable for their gross dynamics between a young teenage girl and the much older and richer love interest, but then turn around and say it's "couple goals" for a teenage boy to hook up with a much older woman. At the end of the day there's still a power imbalance due to the age gap and the massive differences in life experiences between the two, gender doesn't really change that.

Big ole' sip of hot tea as a take, but speaking as an AFAB, a lot of women are just as capable of grooming and taking advantage of younger men in the same way as men towards young women, it's just that on the surface people tend to get skittish about addressing that because they don't want to sound like they're going "yeah well actually women though-" and dismissing the notion of toxic masculinity. Which yes, that's a fair thing to worry about, some people do use that as a way to dismiss the arguments made regarding patterns of grooming behavior in men towards young girls (among many other problems in which men and toxic masculinity are held accountable), but like any topic of this nature, it's not always a cut and dry black and white thing. Toxic masculinity and the grooming of teenage girls by adult men is a very real problem! But just like how we can understand the nuance that being a man by default doesn't immediately make you a predator, we should be able to understand the nuance that being a woman doesn't give you a free pass to do the same things we call out men for doing without consequences. It's like the double standard in LO that it's okay for Persephone to do the same things - if not worse - than what Leuce and Minthe and Thetis do, because she's the main character and she's not some scummy "mud-sucking" lower class person, she's rich and a Queen and she's wearing a giant hat so it makes it okay /s

Unfortunately the saying of "I support women's rights and women's wrongs" is being used in a completely tone deaf "literally excusing the main character of her crimes and wrongdoings against others because she happens to be a woman" kind of way, while missing the real point of the saying - supporting women's wrongs doesn't mean you celebrate their abuse towards others, it just means women shouldn't automatically be viewed as irredeemable "crazy bitches" for making mistakes like any other human does, and like any other human, they should be given the opportunity to grow and heal and learn from their wrongs.

When it comes to Persephone specifically, it can't even be chalked up to a "one time mistake" anymore, she's literally been showing patterns of abusive behavior for years now and refusing to take accountability, and now even Rachel is meme'ing on it knowing fully well it's what people are calling Persephone out for in the critical spaces. That's not "supporting women's wrongs", that's enabling the wrongs of a person because they happen to be a woman, and that's not okay. Persephone isn't a "girl boss", she's a bully.

I think the double standard in these age gap romances also speaks to the idolization and fixation on women as being nothing more than conquests for men as well. People who romanticize age gaps between a young woman and an older man think, "Wow, that woman is so mature for her age, enough that an older richer man would choose HER to be his wife! So romantic!" when in reality those who know those dynamics are unhealthy and toxic recognize it as an older man taking advantage of a young woman who's being love-bombed into believing she's "mature for her age" so that she'll sleep with him. Meanwhile, on the other side of it, those who romanticize young men getting with older women tend to come at it from the angle of "well she's so old and washed up, no man could ever love her, her chance for love and a happily ever after is gone now! it's so wonderful of that young man to give that sad and lonely old woman love and attention!" and yet fail to see it from the same perspective of an older person manipulating a young person with zero life experience, because there's still this deeply-rooted ideology that women are "used up" by age 30 and any man who gives her attention beyond that age range is a hero. Completely neglecting the fact that relationships aren't off the table at all for older single people and they don't need to involve robbing the cradle.

I blame the lack of older couple representation in media tbh, so many mainstream romance stories are basically just this:

To pull it out of the perspective of LO and webtoons for a second (sorry, I'm going on a hell of a tangent here), remember how gross it was when it was revealed in Fifty Shades Darker that Christian had been introduced to the concept of BDSM at age 15 through one of his mom's friends (i.e. an older woman!) who Anastasia calls "Mrs. Robinson"? And they had that relationship until he was 21? And they never really did anything about that, it was pretty much just there to explain why Christian was fucked up but he still got married to Anastasia, an innocent woman who he was repeating the cycle of abuse with, and lived happily ever after anyways?

Yeah. That was pretty fucked up.

[masquayla-the-splendid]

Grand Fest fancams and thoughts. (Why is nobody calling this "Conch-Shella?")

Congrats team Past! I was on team Present.

I had to wait before I said anything about the Grand Fest so my opinions are fully processed.

I was actually pretty torn between the two (future was out of the question, sorry.)

I'm a Splatoon 1 vet, and I know a lot of people were on Past because they are too, but I was being conscious as to not let nostalgia influence my decision. (I should probably also do that when purple is an option lol)

My take was that if present won, the setting would be in the present, and the campaigns would be time traveling stories. That, and a reoccurring message in this game is the whole "don't get caught up in the past, keep moving forward" thing.

Even if I think OTH has a better dynamic, the Squid Sisters are also important characters to me. Marie was my first ever cosplay outside of a Halloween costume. I have a "Stay Fresh" poster that has been on my wall for like 7 years. I was on team Callie for 1s final fest, so this was justice for her too. I also really like the sentiment that they're the ones who started and ended these events.

Of course, all Splatfests have their flaws. It's the match making. We all gripe about the same thing every splatfest for every game, and the one constant throughout all of them that hasn't been addressed or patched is the prioritization on fast matching instead of coordinated matching. Even if it took longer, it might've knocked out mirror matches on the way. But oh well, it's done and over with.

The toxicity I've seen from others was a whole thing too. I thought the "waifu wars" from 1 was bad. Sheesh. I mean I'm a fnaf fan, so I'm used to this flavor of discourse, but some of yalls were being full on bullies for a game intended for kids.

Now when I open Splatoon 4 in the coming years, I better be in the trenches of the Great Turf War./j

(We all saw the proposal, right?)

[y---control]

Motherhood in HOTD-

Alicent/Rhaenerya as boy mom's

One thing I would love to see in HOTD is Alicent and Rhaenyra as mothers, and how their actions and views on the world, especially regarding patriarchy and women's roles, are passed on to their kids.

Alicent tells her sons they deserve the throne just because they're male. Helaena is somewhat shunned by their family, first because she's a bit strange, and second because she's a woman. She's not seen as providing anything more to the family aside from having babies, which she has already done.

Aegon and Aemond both feel entitled to the throne and think Rhaenyra took it from them. Aegon doesn't really want the throne, but he also hasn't been shown much love or affection, and he has no real purpose or power. To fill that hole (non pun intended), he drinks excessively, will fuck anything that moves both consenually and not. He needs to feel power over someone so he goes for powerless women who can't do anything to him.

Aemond also felt inadequate when he was bullied for not having a dragon. Being the only male in the family without a dragon, he probably saw this as a hit to his masculinity. Dragons represent power and violence, traits tied to masculinity in their world. Once Aemond finally gets a dragon, he reacts with violence and vitriol toward the other kids. In the books, both Aegon and Aemond are very misogynistic toward Rhaenyra, calling her a "whore." In the show, they are seen smiling when Vaemond calls her a whore.

Olivia mentioned that in season two, Alicent's power is slowly fading because she's no longer the Queen. Her role is diminishing, and her sons ignore her, which is inevitable because that's how she raised them. Alicent has been a servant to the patriarchy and imposed those ideas on her children. This also shows how deeply ingrained patriarchal values can undermine even those who enforce them.

In contrast, Rhaenyra's sons see the world and women differently. Jace and Luke fully believe in their mother, defer to her, and listen to her. They know she is the rightful heir and will fight for her to have the throne. They are more respectful toward women and do not view them as inferior. They are immediately upset and angry when Vaemond calls Rhaenyra a "whore." At the dinner, Jace tells Aegon not to disrespect Baela when he gets vulgar. When he notices that Helaena is alone and "ignored" after she makes a comment, he dances with her (he probably did it to piss off Aegon too, but still). There's not much about Luke, but he is obviously kind, sweet, and respectful. Baela and Rhaena are also brought in by Rhaenyra to have a place at the council table and be part of the conversation, like Viserys did with her. In the second season, we've seen how Jace really respects Baela and sees her as a warrior.

Additionally, the contrast in the way these two sets of children are raised reflects broader themes of nature versus nurture. Alicent's sons embody the toxic aspects of their upbringing, whereas Rhaenyra's children, raised in an environment that values respect and equality, show these traits in their actions.

I don't know if this will be flat out acknowledged in the show, but I feel we will see bits and pieces of it. It's interesting how this "feud," for lack of a better word, was passed on to their children as well. This dynamic adds depth to the characters and highlights how generational values and conflicts shape the next generation.

I'm rambling and have been thinking about this for a while. IDK if it makes sense.

[sandrayofsun]

Gagged with a capital G - EP. 8

Holy mother of God I don't even know what happened to me when this episode ended. I think I ascended to heaven and back. This is going to be a long post filled with thoughts and feelings (and I have no one else to talk about this to) so buckle up!

Starting off with this first scene... not even 2 mins in and I was already tearing up. This entire conversation was so interesting to me because BOTH of them are fully aware of their feelings, yet neither one is willing to speak up. Ray is "happy" to be with Mew, and Sand is "happy" that Ray finally got who he wanted (supposedly🙁).

Major props to sand for standing his ground during this conversation even though you could see unshed tears in his eyes (go First!!!!🤞). You can feel the love he has for Ray simmering beneath but also the dejection that he feels towards seeing that Ray picked Mew.

This is not the face of someone who is happy with the decision they made. Khaotung really stepped up his acting in this scene because I swear I saw like 18 emotions go through him all at once (slay my king!!🤌). He has formed such a strong attachment to Sand and is now realizing what it means to have chosen someone else (and I don't think he feels too good about it).

THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE!!!!! Sand asking for Ray to let him go, and RAY LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT!!!! This had me seriously gagged to the core, I didn't even know what to do. Looking at it simply, they are both just sad. Sad at the fact that they know they can't be friends, but also won't admit their feelings, but it bothers them that they don't have each other😭. Seeing what unfolded afterwards with Yo and Plug was even a bigger eye opener for them because it was a direct parallel.

~~~MOVING ON!~~~

I think all of us got a little excited we we're going to get the "now that you've walked into my life..." scene, however, I actually really enjoyed this scene in between everything else that was happening because it shows Ray's dynamic with Sand during a regular time, right after showing his dynamic with Mew (pre-halloween). It gives us insight into the fact that despite Ray being with Mew, it still isn't enough for him. He is still wondering why Sand won't answer his messages, and still wants to spend time with him, even though they had that conversation at the bar and Sand asked to be let go. Ray can't/won't let go of Sand. *Bonus cute Ray pouty face*

What's funny to me is that Ray doesn't even realize what it means that he craves Sand's company. He has no problem verbalizing that being with Sand makes him happy (also in their bar conversation🧐) and isn't shy about asking to spend time with him. Yet, Sand still calls out the fact that Ray can spend time with Mew, but Ray doesn't even acknowledge it. Even using the excuse of Mew not being able to play instruments as a justification for seeking out Sand.

^^^^ I mean seriously look at that cute little face rn. I don't even blame Sand for folding like a wet tissue because I too would fold.

~~~MOVING ON PT.2~~~

The entire SandRay Halloween party sequence was BONKERS. I must applaud FirstKhao because they are mopping the floor with the other couples as far as chemistry goes (no shade to the other couples!!! I'll touch on them in a separate post).

POSSESSIVE RAY STANS STAND UPPPPP😩!!!!

Finally we have Ray witnessing the consequences of his actions. Literally seeing him looming behind Sand and the other guy, pushing him away, questioning Sand about what he's doing, saying he wants to sleep with him, then kissing him to establish dominance over the other guy. CHEF'S KISS😮‍💨. Now, obviously anyone with eyes can tell this behavior is toxic, but I simply have not seen this possessive side of Ray with anyone, not even Mew. It was nice to see Sand getting a little bit of attention in that regard. Was it healthy? No. Does Sand deserve better? Yes. But was it hot as hell and real as fuck? 100%.

FIRST KANAPHAN THE MAN THAT YOU ARE😩

He looked good enough to eat in his costume (I'm sorry I had to say it or I was gonna scream lol). I don't blame Ray for seeing his (boy)friend flirting with someone else while looking like that😭. Anyways, Sand standing his ground ONCE AGAIN was so elite of him, he refuses to be number 2 and I am here for it.

Listen guys... Say what you want but Ray ate this little bit up lmao. I chose to take this as progress in a way because Ray is finally bringing up the feelings between the two, and Sand made himself clear that he will not settle for less than first *no pun intended*. I must also state that I found Ray's possessiveness funny lmao because he had literally JUST kissed Mew (love of his life or whatever🙄) and then goes and get's pissed at Sand for even looking at someone else. And also kisses him?? Did he really need to get rid of Mew's kiss that badly🤨??

~~~Last scene hehe~~~

Sorry this post ran a little long but if you made it this far you're Sexy.

Sand throwing literally any beef he had with Ray out the window and into the rubbish bin to help him made my heart ache a little. No matter what Ray does, Sand will always be his emergency staff, no complaints, no conditions, no questions asked. Going as far as to lie to a police officer and coming up with excuses to help him shows how far Sand is willing to go for Ray. I hope this is something the Ray takes note of and appreciates.

This whole part honestly was pretty hard to watch, especially with the police brutality that a lot of people face around the world. I think the show did a good job of showing what this can look like on a smaller scale, and calling attention to it.

It once again showed Sand's loyalty to Ray, trying to hold on to him when the cops grabbed him, and telling him to stay still. Putting myself in his shoes, idk if I could bare the visual of the person I love getting handled that way.

Overall, this may be my favorite episode of the entire series. and I will say that it finally felt like FirstKhao were getting the screen time they deserved.

I physically gasped when I saw the preview for next week's episode because we're getting communication, and uninterrupted SandRay road trip (yeehaw😎).

Sorry again for this long post

See you guys next week!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not breaking up a friendship?

Hi. So me (27F) and my partner (36M) have been together for over 3 years now. Relationship is great and I love him so much, and he loves me back. We start to actually make a living together.

But recently there has been a little conflict. I have a friend (30M, let's call him V) who I have known since I was 13 and him 16, so that's half of my life, and vast majority of my "conscious" life. And my relationship with him is.. well. I know, it will look and sound badly and I don't blame my boyfriend for feeling insecure but also I am not willing to cut V out of my life entirely.

Like I said we've known each other for so long I can't imagine my life without him. We've been saving each other from depression and SA. He used to have problem with d*ugs, I've been there for him and help him get clean and he's free of addiction for almost a decade now. And whenever I had my mental breakdowns he was also always there for me, he knows ways to calm me down when I have panic attacks. We've seen each other at our lowest and pulled ourselves up. We can almost read each other's minds at this point.

V has lived through all of my relationships too, he himself having his own. But our dynamic wasn't fully platonic, we did get close to each other inbetween the relationships and even thought and tried to be together. But we both have very explosive temperaments and felt like it wouldn't work cuz we would eventually hurt each other being this close so we decided not to be together in the awe of it ruining our friendship forever. Nevertheless we do have a history of going back and forth.

For the past couple of years V has lived in Canada, I live in Europe (I'd like not to disclose where exactly). He is also married to a man. (He's bi and so am I so that was one of the things that brought us close) So we rarely actually see each other in person, he does come to visit his son from previous relationship who lives with his mom, once or more a year. V does music for living so that allows him to be more mobile. And everytime he visits it's like no time has passed. We could not see e/o for a full year and then it's like he never left.

Like I mentioned, there has always been some mutual attraction between us, I admit he is a very handsome man but the thought of being with him gives me an ick. I just couldn't handle some of his lifestyle decisions and my current partner with his calmness, caring and purest heart is a true blessing for me. For the first time of my life I feel life this is "it". And V has quite different personality, he's not a bad person or anything but his dynamic is just not what I need from a life partner.

Couple of years back when he was abroad I was in a relationship that turned out to be abusive. I was with this crazy jelaous, controlling, toxic person and we fought almost daily to the point where I wouldn't leave my bed for hours because of anxiety and depressive states. One time the ex went too far with his hands and the tension between us was over the top. We lived together at the time. When I told V what happened he came over once ex was off to work, helped me pack my bags and leave the house and then he stayed with me in his family house for couple of weeks making sure I was ok. He even almost beat up that guy.

My partner was aware of this friendship and even met V once. My past with V wasn't the preffered subject at the dinner table so we didn't speak much about it but he never told me directly I should cut V off or that he doesn't want me to meet him. I'd say he was rather cool, as in cold, about the whole thing.

But recently V told me he is coming back to Europe for longer, claiming he wants to spend more time with his son and try to be a more present dad. I also know that him and his husband have been going through a crisis lately, but V hasn't said anything about separation or divorce.

When I told my partner about V staying in the country for some indefinite amount of time we had an argument. He said he doesn't feel comfortable when V is around me, that he has a very good reason to be mad and that he's hurt I didn't come up with the idea of limiting the friendship. I admit, I got a little carried away and angry. I said he is not the one to decide who can be in my life and who cannot and that I will not allow anyone to control my friendships. As in the mentioned abusive ex-relationship, that was very much the case and I developed some sort of PTSD. My ex was jelaous of me meeting with my family or beeing in the uni classroom and doing project with male friends and wanted me to not have anyone in my life beside him.

My partner then said he feels like he's some sort of a backup in case the relationship fails and that he fears we will end up together either way and that to move forward he needs to be sure he is the number one for me. I love him with all my heart and regarding the thing he said of me and V getting together... I wouldn't want it that way, V and I were very clear about it and talk about it if needed. But I understand my partner feels... abandoned in a way. I love him so much, he means the world to me but I also don't want to lose a friendship so dear and long whom I've been through almost everything together. I've known V for 14 years, my partner and I are together for over 3 and I have had a relationship longer than that already.

Am I the asshole for not pushing V away when my partner asked me to? Would it be the right thing to do?

What are these acronyms?

[zorkaya-moved]

me @ tumblr rpc: YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLOT WITH OCs and it shows.

And you know what? That happens. Plotting is hard. Honestly? Hate plotting so much if I don't know a person these days because I just feel overly anxious and ramble. So yeah, anyhow... Let me share some personal thoughts! THIS DOES NOT TOUCH ON PEOPLE WHO TAKE THEIR TIME, PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME IN PLOTTING AND PLEASE DO EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN PACE! THIS IS A HOBBY AND THIS IS SOMETHING WE DO FOR FUN! This is based solely on some of my own experiences with SOME plotting (not all ofc!) as a woman oc writer in 2022-2023. I've had fantabulous experience with plotting and not so much. Please know you're valid, Ily, thank you for bearing with my burnt out ass in plottings. Mwah. Stay winning.

We all suffer from the collective dead brain cell syndrome when it comes to plotting any interaction, but do you know what kind of sucks and makes little ol' me tinsy bit bitter at the end of 2023 after going through countless people who just ignored my plotting proposals when I gave a ton of ideas? And what I'm going to call out just a tiny bit as a woman oc writer?

You can get into wikipedia and seek out information about a canon character to figure out some ideas on plots if you don't know the fandom, but do you do the same for OCs? 'Cuz OCs are sure as hell the very same 'canons from fandoms I don't know' type of situation.

Do you reach out to the CREATOR who can answer all your questions no matter how miniscule they can be? We, OC writers, are ready to give you the deep lore if you ask.

Do you check out about pages or headcanon pages? Hell, some of us have DETAILED NAVIGATION PAGES FOR VERSES! Is your OC or Canon from there? Check it out! Read! Find what interests YOU or if you didn't find something? Just ask the WRITER! Simple, innit? God, Imma be real, some of y'all gonna get my DMs like 'Listen, I can't find if you have this hc, could you please link it to me?' because I want info for plot ideas and if you do the same to me? I kiss u platonically.

Lemme give you a Done For You plotting thoughts you can use on how to plot with OCs, ladies and gents and nonbinary folks!

Do you have a specific dynamic you WANT for your character? Perhaps, you see a villain OC and want smth toxic to try out - ASK. Or you see an OC that might be a fun friend or neighbor or any other more positive dynamic - ASK. Inquire each other about what DYNAMICS you're open to. Oh you open to all? Sick. PUT DOWN YOUR BOUNDARIES FIRST. BOTH SIDES. SPEAK YOUR BOUNDARIES.

Do you have verses both of your characters are in? Be it OC & OC or Canon & OC? Noice, discuss all possible connections your characters might have! Offer ideas! Offer thoughts! The worst thing another can say is 'no'. And if so? COUNTLESS POSSIBILITIES. Yummy possibilities. Friends, childhood friends, childhood rivals, exes, rivals, co-workers, fight on sight, live next to each other, see each other in the same fucking cafe your muse goes at 2 pm specifically and ALWAYS sees another muse there... Countless. I'm telling you.

JUST DO THE FIRST STEP TOO WHEN YOU INTERACT WITH OCS, I'M ON MY KNEES BEGGING.

OFFER. IDEAS. The vaguest ones will do ok too. I cannot stress this enough but as an OC writer, I've had instances where I just... Gave 5 ideas only to have someone just drop me. Fully and completely. Not the 'I'll reach out to you later I need to think about this' but just full on 'wow this is too much plotting and I don't want to invest that much time' like it sucks. It sucks being the only person offering possible dynamics, ideas, even funny ones in some cases! I'm so burnt out from plotting dynamics because I keep. Offering. Ideas. But I don't have the same feedback loop. More like I have 0 feedback in the instances I dive into possibilities which burnt me out from plotting altogether, closing plotting possibilities with those who may actually be the same kind of insane as I am. And it sucks. Bless you all who give vague ideas or not vague ideas. Love you. You're fucking champions.

BE OPEN TO ASKING QUESTIONS, PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS, HOLY SHIT, PLEASE. Please never forget to ask "Hey, how would you feel about this scenario?" or "Would your character be in this kind of situation? Maybe that's how they met and started hanging out?" or "Oh, how about us trying out this type of dynamic and see where it goes?" or anything, really.

Anyways, this is just my 2 am psa because yeah why not. December sucks ass so why not speak out my thoughts at the end of 2023 to enter 2024 with sunglasses and cool Women OCs Propaganda I will continue preaching. You're all welcome to reblog this.

[thousandyearphantombunker]

how the fuck was Steven supposed to kill the diamonds? With the crystal gems a team consisting of like 8 people? One is a human girl with a sword, another is a random technician and another is a disabled soldier? With the breaking point? The diamonds are huge and have insane powers they could use to protect themselves with ease so...and if somehow he did find a way to kill them- what would the aftermath be? What would happen to the corrupted gems? The system on homeworld wouldn't have changed, they'd still kill the off colors, they'd still be colonizing planets etc. would spinel still be waiting never knowing anything about what happened to her friend? Like what would have happened- 'oh the diamonds will probably go right back to killing people if Steven let them live and therefore Steven will be responsible for all the blood on their handa when that eventually happens, it's also unjust and toxic that Steven forgives other peoples abusers on their behalf we always let the colonizers have redemption arcs and portray the people they hurt as villains for fighting back' yeah okay, you cop Steven is a moral failure who is guilty of colonization and hes an abuse apologist who ignore the victims and demonizes them(where we watching the same show? Did we not see Steven try to help centipetle? Did we not see him break down over the cluster- could Steven had forgiven the diamonds for the sake of the victims? I do give some shit to Steven for how he acts about rose but even then he's a teenage with PTSD)-The situation also changed from 'homeworld gems are coming back to earth after the war to create a geo-weapon, they thought they won the war and didn't care about colonizing the earth anymore' to 'now they want rose quartz to hang for as justice for what happened to pink diamond' to 'pink diamond faked her death and her attempt to escape the abuse and evils of her home ended up turning her friends into monsters and her deciding to die to create Steven has led her sisters trying to drag her back to homeworld to uphold the horrible caste system' no more going after earth the way they used too, now the conflict was personal.

su's ending was bad- it felt hollow rushed and like so much happened but also like not enough was happening- it was a mess but also, su is about restorative justice and changing unhealthy family dynamics, and that's actually great. I get pissy about Steven Universe's ending-lapis, peridot, lars and bismuth were completely irrelevant the complaints i have about white diamond are the exact same ones i have about the collector (i hate them both) the movie piled more shit onto rose's bad rep sheet when it was really unnecessary and the show only portrays the perspective she was a brat which was great at the start but once you see how internalized she was and that shes an abuse victim the show should have portrayed her more empathetically, and if we wanna talk about the show as a whole- i hate that shattering can be reversed fully now and that jasper didn't stay dead as much as i love her, i hate that the show never acknowledged how toxic sadie was toward lars (kidnapping him and steven the donut prank- lars was a dick but sadie was a psycho) or how its hard to defend pearl after they made her a total creep (even if you don't read fusion as sexual its still super uncomfortable to see pearl lie to garnet like that and take advantage of something that meant so much to garnet) and i dislike that peridot lost her edge and the episode "too far" pissed me off (amethyst you encouraged peridot to be mean and call garnet a slur, pearl a braindead slave and Steven an affront to nature but when she made an accidentally ableist remark while trying to compliment you that's when it became a problem?). Su botched a fuckton of its messages and the filler was hit or miss in terms of quality and a lot the hate was Deserved (it did get uncomfortably sexual when it came to certain fusions- and rebecca sugar being Jewish bi, nonbinary etc doesn't exempt them from criticism- it felt perverted in several parts and rocknaldo was a worthless episode though if I hear another anti-Semitic take on this show im gonna flip- y'all don't know what Nazism is please stop using that word without understanding it) but I while I have my complaints about the ending I think Steven changing the diamonds minds was the only appropriate way for the show to end, the show always was about making amends or living life after the carnage had settled without focusing on vengeance/perpetuating the cycle of violence it was always about seeing nuance and not seeing you people you come into conflict with as enemies. I'm not angry at the diamonds being redeemed, I hate how it was handled, I'm not angry at the show for saying bismuth was wrong I hate how it was handled she deserved better but Jesus christ can we stop acting like the only appropriate way the show could have ended is with Steven 'realizing pacifism is bad and killing the abusers/colonizers is the only answer' because fuck diplomacy and systemic change-

also Steven is fully willing to use violence, Steven would pick up a gun and shoot to before batman or aang would ever if it meant saving his world (this isn't me shitting on those characters just pointing out Steven isn't that extreme of a pacifist) and Steven carries a lot of anger as we see in su future (whether or not you think it's a hot mess it's canon) while i don't think he hates the diamonds he definitely resents them and is afraid of then but holds back (until he ya now gats... Way worse mentally), he wants to fix the system not get justice or vengeance or make huge moral judgements where he is in the right when he hurts others- steven isn't an abuse apologist who believes him self morally superior (he actually kind of is afraid of that) he isn't afraid to use violence if he seems it necessary (he's a diplomat and his skills lie in talking things out- of course he'd go to that first) he cares a lot of about the victims of the diamonds and people who have been hurt- even if they hurt him. Steven is deeply flawed his martyr complex reveals him to be incredibly entitled and desperate to be in control and for others to be hurt or bad so he can fix their problems so he can feel good about himself and deals with a lot of guilt and by future he has developed anger issues- but he always cared about others that's why he did what he did and does what he does

[mandareeboo]

The Goetia family (Stolas, Stella, and Octavia) for the character meme?

Pick a character I’ve written and I will explain the top ~three to five ideas/concepts/etc I keep in mind while writing that character that I believe are essential to accurately depicting them.

Stolas doesn't really know how to talk to others. He's never been taught. He grew up with the butler and then Stella in his ear, reminding him of manners or general speech, but when it comes down to it he doesn't know the intricacies of having or maintaining contact. He legitimately didn't realize he was condescending to Blitz. He didn't realize how badly he was hurting Octavia by bringing her to the park. He sees these things as Stuff You Do, important tasks on a leger.

He doesn't always speak so formally! So many 'fics have him all but reciting Shakespeare. Stolas can tone it down and has quite the casual tone when talking around family or IMP. The fancy talk is, for lack of a better way of putting it, dirty talk to him. Or work talk.

Just getting out of an abusive everything. His childhood was shit and his married life was too. Stolas thinks anyone who treats him semi-kindly is a friend or romantic interest. When Striker kidnaps him he doesn't view it as anything dangerous until he crushes the phone. He's willing to take most any treatment from anyone.

Daddy's girl through and through. Her major fear during all of this was that Stolas would run away forever.

I legitimately don't think Tia knows all of the ins and outs of her family. There's nothing to indicate she does, anyway. Stolas doesn't have the heart to explain it to her in Loo Loo Land, she clearly doesn't have any arranged fiancé of her own, I honestly think she assumes Stolas cheating on Stella was the only thing going on in their relationship. I doubt she's ever even met Paimon.

TEENAGER. Octavia is a typical goth teenager and she's gonna act that way. Sometimes she does stupid shit for attention, or to be popular, or to make friends. Sometimes she steals a book to look at a meteor shower as a fuck you to Stolas. Other times she wants to be carried away to Stylish Occult.

PACK BONDS you can't tell me that the girl who hugs a hellhound two minutes after meeting her is not a 'you said nice thing ergo I will die for you' type.

I actually have a LOT of headcanons about Stella and her relationship with Stolas, but this is about canon Stella so:

Stella doesn't give a single fuck about Stolas cheating on her. She doesn't. If you listen to her it's not about the sex, or the cheating- it's about Blitz being an IMP, it's about Stolas showing off a lower-class beau. She cares about their IMAGE.

I don't think she ever loved Stolas and I know Stolas didn't love her, and I'm pretty sure they both fully understood that long before being wed.

Stella, unlike most abusers, is NOT selective. She's not hiding shit. She's upper crust, and she can leave bruises on his face or hire assassins to kidnap him publicly if she likes.

Like Stolas, I legitimately think Stella has never been outside of a toxic environment. We don't know about her folks but it's clear her dynamic with her brother is fucked up and abusive as well. It's a constant cycle she ended up perpetuating.

We have no idea what she feels about Octavia, and that feels so telling to me. In two seasons Stella has not said her name once. She's called her 'that girl' but never 'my daughter' or 'Tia'. She never wanted to comfort her nightmares or dry her cheeks. I really don't think she wanted to be a mother at all.

[lunarlights-world]

Must admit I am intrigued if disgusted with your shadoweaver x Stan idea.

Mainly bc I hate shadoweaver bc she is abusive BUT tbh I also ship stanchez which includes rick who is abusive (when he is present) to ppl around him. I feel like storywise tho rand ridley and shadoweaver are more similar (and SPOILERS FOR INSIDE JOB) both have shitty sorta redemptions that they don't really deserve.

Tbh I am wondering about the stanweaver dynamic. Is it an exes situation? Did they know eachother before everything (maybe stan tripped through some weirdness barrier dimension or smth right after the portal incident or maybe before and met her when she was still in or fresh out of mystacore ( that's what the academy thing is right???). I can imagine her being reluctantly charmed and him being reminded of his brother, also tampering with things they didn't fully understand and having faced the consequences. I think he'd feel like it was a chance to fix his mistakes with Ford.

Is it a toxic situation too? I can imagine her viciously digging into his every insecurity and then love bombing him.

If they reconnect or meet after she raised catra and adora, will either of them connect that similarly to Stan's father Filbrick, she raised two smart and capable people but favoured one for its perceived usefulness or success? I can see it being verrryyyy toxic tbh.

Or maybe it'd be a Bill ford redemption type thing where stan "fixes" Her ( I imagine she wouldn't be 'good' in any sense but nicer maybe). I can kinda see it being a thing (we all know stan has a thing for morally dubious people, eg that spider-monster woman and Jimmy snakes or wtver he's called.)

Either way intrigued in the extreme. The more I think of it the more I see the appeal, I would love to study their reactions and how they interact.

-The Goose 🪿

I very much liked reading this and all the interpretations and ideas you had about it. What o was thinking with this is that he didn’t know her until the storyline of the au came into play, but I do like the idea of Stan somehow meeting Shadow Weaver before the storyline as well. My idea for the au will be further elaborated when I draw out character reference sheets and post them since that will be where most of the explanations for it will be.

My au will go along with the normal events of Gravity Falls and She-Ra, except some things are different, so Ford would probably be the one to have met her, but I don’t know. Again, I do like the idea of Stan somehow meeting her when she was teaching at Mystacor and will probably incorporate that into the au somehow.

Thank you for the ask and I hope I answered your questions well! If not, feel free to try asking the questions again!

Also, yeah Shadow Weaver is pretty bad and doesn’t REALLYYYYY deserve the redemption at the end (mainly because it was kind of a bad redemption even though I still absolutely loved it T^T what does that say about me 😭😭) but I randomly came up with the idea when I was hyperfixating because she’s my favorite character

[mimibwi]

BTS and fanservice

This is a big topic and issue among shippers, so I'll give my opinions on the matter (if anyone cares to read).

BTS members definitely do fan service. There shouldn't be much debate around that but I want to put it out there in the event that someone didn't already know that. All K-pop groups do fan service to some degree and it's fine, in my opinion. It makes things interesting and gets the fans screaming, so who’s complaining?

The conversation about fanservice gets out of control when it comes to shipping. Much of it comes down to what the fans think fan service is. I don't see fan service as completely fake and drawn up by the company's execs. Don't get me wrong, I don’t think the company is completely uninvolved but the theories you present are way too over the top. They come across more like conspiracy theories rather than opinions I can even consider a possibility.

At most, fan service contains acts that build off existing dynamics and sometimes exaggerate them to a certain degree. So while I don't think some of the actions are spur-of-the-moment things (it's evident they talk about/plan some of the moments beforehand) I still don’t think most fan service moments are devoid of any genuine emotions. It’s hard for me to talk about this cause; honestly, I don’t care about the whole calling out fanservice thing. I enjoy all the members’ interactions. Maybe some floor me more than others but I can’t sit here and be mad about two friends interacting.

((A lot more below the cut))

^^All these moments are fanservice in some way or another and they are all cute to me. I don’t get why yall make a big deal out of it so much. Just enjoy it, and smile a little!! Sometimes I wonder how toxic shippers and solos feel when they watch BTS content. You all must be angry as hell when these men (who have known each other for 10+ years, might I add) interact and look happy doing it.

Let me make my points as clear as I can-

some on-stage moments are staged to some degree. I may be wrong but I think I’ve seen a video of Tae saying he wanted to do a moment with Jimin on stage but Jimin was too awkward (lol) so he did it with JK instead. Maybe I hallucinated that cause it's in my memory but I couldn’t tell you where I heard that from. Either way, I am actually convinced this happens often. That or they do something once, see the audience’s reaction, then keep doing it for the other performances.

Fanservice isn’t completely disingenuous. I don’t look at it as a black-and-white conversation. Two members hugging for fans to scream on stage doesn’t take away from their bond. It doesn’t make their entire relationship a fraud. So to me, it’s less of “x ship IS fanservice” and more like “this moment from x ship seems to be fanservice” or “x ship does fanservice sometimes”. I can’t argue with the last two statements for the most part (well I lied, I’m literally countering them with this post in a way) but the first statement makes my skin crawl. It's so dismissive and disrespectful to the boys. — Thinking about it more, I can argue with all the statements even more than I am doing right now because there are moments that are looked into way to deeply. You guys will say “this moment is fanservice” and it’s two members sitting next to each other or talking or looking at each other or *insert any normal interaction that occurs between people who know each other and shouldn’t be seen as a big deal at all*.

*This is me looking for the service (that was so earth-shatteringly obvious and bad that it needed to be called out as such) sometimes.

Please just let people enjoy what they enjoy; it’s not that serious. I know shippers do all of this to fire back at other shippers so it’s just an endless cycle of hate and bitterness but I don’t care tbh you all need to stop it, yall take everything way too far.

Not every on-stage or on-camera moment is fanservice. It's hard for us to distinguish because we never fully know the boy’s intentions at any particular time. This is why I despise this ‘all or nothing,’ ‘black and white’ mindset many shippers have because it can cause you to 1) start digging into moments that aren’t that serious or 2) dismiss real, genuine friendship when it's right in front of you. It’s also frustrating because what one person may think is fs may come across as a genuine moment to someone else then everyone goes to war because of it. The fact of the matter is that none of us know for sure, so we shouldn’t spend time arguing about things when every single one of us could be wrong.

The above points are mainly in reference to on-stage moments. It gets even messier when we discuss the pre-recorded, edited content. This is where you guys lose me even more.

It’s hard to believe that fan service is this huge ordeal and that they plan who will interact with who more. It's also hard for me to think that at this point in their career, BH staff are sitting with these almost thirty-year-old men and telling them how to act. It's absurd to me. While I definitely think there are things they are advised to do or shouldn't do or say, I don't see any of them as the huge conspiracies that fans (shippers) push. So no, the member’s actions are not controlled on the big scale many shippers suggest. I love speculation and theories but there are some things I can't bring myself to speculate about. So the "BH is pushing x ship,” "they edited out all the x ship moments for y ship,” "x member is doing fan service to feed shippers" conversations just bore me for the most part.

Even if they are told to do something, sit somewhere, or get paired together for content, it could simply not be about a ship— at least not in the way people think it is. I mentioned this in my first post but NOT EVERYTHING THESE MEN DO IS ABOUT A SHIP. This is one of the saddest parts of shipping to me. Shippers reduce these beautiful, unique, insanely interesting people to just a ship. “X is sad/hurt/happy because of Y,” NO he could literally just be happy. We’re talking about regular people here, people like you and me, who have so much to offer and shouldn’t be looked at solely through a shipper lens. Whether you think the ship is real shouldn’t matter because this is basic human decency.

The “x ship is being edited out theories”— These, like I mentioned before, bore me and in some instances frustrate me.

How can you say for sure that things you don’t know happened actually happened and were edited out? This kind of shipper logic isn’t for me I fear. I know you could say, “so you’re telling me x and y only interacted once that day?” but it still doesn’t hold up because—

There could be many reasons why a ship moment is cut out. Some possibilities include:

they thought it was boring- lol I don’t know; maybe the editors thought that moment was a snooze fest and they wanted to include things the people would find interesting.

time constraints- with content like ITS or Bon Voyage, where there are days worth of content from seven different perspectives, must be a shitshow to edit. It’s obvious not every interaction will get into the final version. To sit and think the editors intentionally said “We’re out of time? Scrap the x ship parts” is honestly laughable. Let’s be a little serious. Shippers are so funny to me sometimes because I can promise you regular people don’t give af about these ships as much as we do so I doubt they care enough to sabotage them.

it doesn’t fit in the theme of the content- The moment could just not fit in with the overall flow of the content. Maybe there is a particular image they’re trying to draw up with the content and a certain moment throws it off and doesn’t fit the image. With the time constraints I mentioned, it makes sense why they would want to insert some things over others.

something else is happening on screen- I know all shippers get disappointed when it seems like their ship is interacting and the angle changes. BUT that disappointment in that particular moment should not translate into these big conspiracy theories. It’s natural for the camera angle to switch when other things (probably more interesting or things that matter more to the overall content) happen. We’re looking at 7 different people for Christ’s sake.

it’s personal- This should be obvious but I am sure the guys talk about or do things that are just personal. Although I don’t think it’ll be anything crazy considering they’re mic-ed up and are aware they’re on camera, they could just not want certain things out there. They already show us so much (I’m grateful for that 4%) of their lives, I think we should allow them to be able to want things cut out.

*insert other reasons here that definitely does factor in but my brain can’t think of right now*

What irks me the most about these conversations is what they usually always stem from in the first place. They all come from an angle that serves to prove that some ships are better or claim that some ships only interact because they’re forced to. The hypocrisy that comes along with this type of shipping is also quite crazy to me. It’s always the ship you don’t like and that threatens your beliefs that is fanservice/fake/forced when they so much as touch each other but every single interaction between your ship is 100% real. I don’t think you guys hear yourself when you speak sometimes. I will never get why this shipping business needs to be a competition. Like the concept of going to war online over two people’s —who you most likely have never met and don’t know personally— relationship will always be interesting to me. It also doesn't matter whatsoever. No ship’s “realness” should depend on another being fake or worse and if that’s the case then maybe your ship isn’t as real as you think it is. All 21 (I swear I did the math, it’s 21 right??) ships in BTS are unique in their own way and I wouldn’t want any of them to be exactly like another because I love all dearly. Although some dynamics tug on my heart more than others, I will never dismiss any to bring up others because the boys genuinely love each other and I can tell as much.

You know sometimes I blame a lot of shipper logic and theories on the fact that many of us feel like these men’s lives are more interesting than they actually are. It’s so sad because a lot of the drama our brains think up makes the guys victims either to each other or the company. The fanservice argument is just that to me. Why can’t we believe the boys are fine in their current situation, that they enjoy their little fanservice moments to stir up fans but it’s not something they’re being held at gunpoint to do? They’re entertainers after all. Why do you as a fan of these guys, think they’re being completely calculating every time they show up in front of a camera? Why can’t yall believe they’re being as genuine as their situation allows? Maybe this is a naïve way of looking at things but it’s easier and it’s the foundation of my views as an ARMY. Playing the mind fuck olympics whenever a member comes around to spend time with us is exhausting. I don’t even share many of these opinions but simply reading them drains so much out of me. We really do read into certain things way too much and I get that’s the whole point or basis of shipping. Still, it gets really muddy to me when people start victimizing and villainizing parties involved because of the shipper’s (and even solo’s) opinions and perspectives.

In conclusion, I don’t agree with any of the fan service theories nor do I think fan service is a particularly bad thing. Even if I have fleeting thoughts about particular moments, I don’t entertain them too much because I don’t know the whole story. It’s also because I respect the members. I respect their autonomy, their words and their dynamics with each other and entertaining these ideas and theories that obviously (even if it isn’t obvious to you) disregard the things I respect would slowly destroy that. So the two just cannot coexist for me. Plus, this shipper thing just isn’t that serious to me. The only reason I even care to think and even talk about this topic is because of the hate the members get cause of it. It’s unfair:(

Look how cute they all look together while they do their little fan service🥺. #letmybabiesdofanserviceinpeace

ⁱ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵃʳᶜᵃˢᵐ ᶜᵒᵐᵉˢ ᵃᶜʳᵒˢˢ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˡᵃˢᵗ ˡⁱⁿᵉ ᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ⁱ ʳᵉᶠᵘˢᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵉˣᵖˡᵃⁱⁿ ᵐʸˢᵉˡᶠ

~~🐝

[filliteapot]

I am happy to hear you like relationships with age difference cause most of the time I ran into people who see them as 100% bad. Like sure, age gaps have their problems but doesn't all kinds of relationships have, even ones where there isn't age gap? I don't think age gaps are this black and white thing were all age gaps are bad and enjoying them is immoral etc. Btw, what's the appeal of age gap to you and what are some of your fave age gap romances?

Oh, you know, I quite like stories in which people make mistakes, do questionable things, ruin their own lives and make suffer those around them, so that you can't call them "good people" and you're fully aware of how toxic the situation is -- but you cannot take your eyes off it bc it's just FASCINATING IN ITS TOXICNESS AND TRAGEDY. It may concern stories with age gaps too, but it's not actually the age difference that makes it work for me -- it's probably this fascinating feeling of the fall, and my heart aching for people/characters while being unable to do anything to solve their situation.

There are actually stories in which age difference doesn't create this atmosphere and any real ground for screams about harm and amorality -- then I just like the story for whatever reason. In my summary of fav dynamics I wrote 'stories with age gaps' just because there are many of them in my faves (ahah) but they are all different in mood and themes and characters' circumstances.

In fact I really enjoy the freedom fiction gives - I seriously don't understand how liking any media makes you good or bad person, neither do I get the desire to have every story fit your - of course - very high moral compass/teach you important life lessons while telling you're a good one bc you support the Right Thing. I actually find this approach quite egoistic and harmful.

Also, does everything have to be morally pure and 100% problemless to be worthy of your love? Does liking a villain or a problematic relationship necessarily mean that you want this for yourself or anyone else in your daily life? Do we really need the story to explicitly tell us what is good or bad to understand what we see as good or bad? It's especially funny to me when people spend much time on threads condemning a story while the story itself shows the problems and their outcomes quite well, just doesn't give you morals openly.

Everything I said above goes for age gaps too - if I find it interesting, I do enjoy this and don't see why I should be ashamed of it.

Personal faves:

Human Disqualification (Lost jtbc kdrama)

Nagatan to Aoto

Otoko no Isshou

I love her (Ikuemi Ryo)

Jane Eyre

Fire and Hemlock

any problematic storyline in old shoujo (Fruits Basket my beloved)

[orchideous-nox]

Thoughts on Quibbler's less common ships (like Seabunny!!)? :3

I've been here since before he was yapping about them publically, I was getting all this stuff in my DMs months ago so I've had a while to take in his headcanons and yapping.

That being said, I think I generally feel quite similarly to Alex but he is much more passionate while I appreciate them quietly because I'm still learning and figuring them out.

Anyway, I checked with him and these are the ships that Quib-bitch (< 3) wants me to talk about!

Seabunny - I really enjoy Igor as a character, I always thought he was interesting from what we know about him canonically, so I like the idea that Charity sees this guy and wants to find some good in him and bring out something that he's buried deep down perhaps, but is also just like "he's never going to be perfect, so I'll also just take him as being a piece of shit because he fucks good". He also likes that there isn't pressure to be who he is expected to be with her, he can be gentle without judgement if that's what he chooses.

Starrynight - I have less opinions about this ship. It took me a while to come around to seeing Severus as more than just how a majority of the fandom sees him. That being said, I do enjoy starrynight, I think they're two people who have a great appreciation for each other that spans throughout their school years and into their teacher years. Aurora is so cool to me, I lowkey love her and the way Alex drew her in his yearbook is like chef's kiss. I think they're two people who seem very 😐 to everyone else but they understand each other's tiny little intricacies that other people don't bother trying to learn.

Wiseprince - Okay this was the OG ship that Alex would yap to me about which made me be like "ohhhhh okay this could be cool". Edmund Jr is so closeted and he only lets himself accept that part of him when it's just him and Sev and even then he hates it and doesn't fully understand what the feelings are. They're an awkward mess of unarticulated angsty yearning and deep deep denial and for some reason I vibe with this dynamic.

Crownest - The cupboard scene in GoF. That is all. Like how can you watch those two in that film and not see two exes who are forced into being in the same place after years and spend most of their time talking shit about the other and glaring at each other. I don't see any tenderness between them, it's not some gentle fluffy love, it's low-key toxic and they're not in it for each other specifically, Severus doesn't sit there fantasizing about Igor and Igor isn't writing "Mr Igor Snape" in the margins of his notebooks.

Goldenshower - Sorry Alex, but if you're not coming up with a better ship name then I will continue to call them this. These two are not good for each other. There is a reason Gilderoy (my boy Roy) is the golden part of the ship and it's not all piss related. He doesn't want his reputation tarnished. Igor also doesn't want people thinking he's going to become someone like Gilderoy and actively teases him for being a pristine posh-boy. That being said, I think there is a dirty side of Gilderoy that he only lets out around Igor. But they're still not good for each other.

Aurora x Pandora - Alex hasn't come up with a ship name for these two yet so suffer with that. I feel very strongly about cosmiccreation (but this much is probably obvious on my blog), but I kinda fuck with this I think. Like I could vibe with this but there's not much content about them really.

If you want to know about any other ships specifically then let me know! I'm happy to yap, though my headcanons might be limited depending on ships because I base a lot of my knowledge about the Snape's Gang characters off Quibbler's posts and him yapping in my DMs (which I love, makes me feel special that I get some of this before it sees the light of day).