#only friends ep8

[gunsatthaphan]

#attaboy.

[victorialovesstiles]

I was trying to figure out why this scene had so much power to it and I realized this is the moment Ray figures out Sand’s feelings for him. It is so beautifully written and executed… I have so many thoughts on this:

Firstly, Sand is the one to bring up the elephant in the room that is RayMew. This is not surprising, given Ray’s lack of accountability and avoidance of serious matters.

What IS surprising is Ray’s immediate reaction to this - he completely discredits the seriousness and validity of RayMew’s relationship to Sand:

“… we need to see if it’s gonna work.”

He’s (consciously or unconsciously) trying to reassure Sand that he’s not entirely unavailable - that him and Mew are just “trying things out”. That there’s still room for Sand and this thing between them.

He follows that discredit with a comment that can be read as direct criticism and comparison of Sand’s own “just friends” boundaries during their time together:

“At least he let me cross that friend zone line.”

At least HE did, at least HE let me try.

Sand returns this thinly veiled snide comment with a double entendre of his own:

“Good. You can finally end the secret crush.” To which I don’t think Ray picks up on Sand’s true meaning until Sand finishes with “Such a waste of time, right?”

THERE. RIGHT THEN. THAT MOMENT is when Sand’s true feelings finally become clear for Ray.

Because why would Ray’s secret crush be a waste of time if it worked out and he is now with Mew???

Sand is talking about himself… and Ray knows it.

You can literally see the lightbulb moment clear on Ray’s face. Sand likes him, Sand has a crush on him, Sand doesn’t want them to be only friends, and possibly never did.

But Ray didn’t know that before, how could he? And how unfair that he finds out now, finds out RIGHT as Sand is telling him that he’ll end his secret crush on Ray, and that he’ll let Ray go now that Ray has Mew?

All of the times Sand said he would never take Ray as his boyfriend or lover - insisted that they stay friends and nothing more. Possibly even hurting Ray with these words during the brief time when Ray was properly trying to move on from Mew.

And now that the man Ray has loved for years is giving him a chance - now that it’s seemingly too late, Ray is figuring out that he was wrong - that Sand did want him, like him, love him.

You can see the wheels turning in his head - trying to figure out his next move - and in that moment, he can see himself in Sand. Because at the end of the day, Ray understands loneliness and rejection better than anyone.

And so finally, he decides to next ask Sand the question he wishes someone would ask him:

“Are you okay?”

[tswizzlesfan]

one of the things i adore about this fandom is the collective sand protection squad we got going on

sand acts a little unhinged?? GO BABY YOU DESERVE IT

sand is sad?? everyone loses their mind and wants whoever hurt him perish

sand is happy?? EVERYBODY CHEERED AND FLOWERS START BLOOMING

in conclusion: the first kanaphan effect must be studied bcs every time i look at him i go "hes so pretty i will cry"

also his whole character is just so daddy and no i will not elaborate

[sandrayofsun]

I may be Team Top??

As promised in my last post, I'm making a diary entry for TopMew!

I'll start by saying that I have not been a fan of this couple throughout the show, but I did like their characters separately. Something that I felt a lot throughout the series was the lack of chemistry and awkwardness surrounding TopMew. Mind you, I've watched "A Boss and a Babe," I KNOW ForceBook has chemistry.

In saying that, episode 8 has officially changed my mind on the TopMew train hehe.

Specifically this scene

Mew's revenge era is honestly what made me like him the most... Unpopular opinion maybe, but I found it really relatable that he is doing things he normally doesn't do and becoming someone different. Top did a really shitty thing to him. Despite him being "perfect," being a virgin, having good grades, and being respectful, Top still cheated on him. It opened his eyes to the fact that no matter how "good" he is, people are still capable of doing shitty things to him.

So why not do all the things you've never done in the name of being hurt. No matter who he is, people can hurt him no matter what, might as well go out with a bang.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bathroom scene was interesting because it's the first "civil" conversation they've had since the whole fight blew out. and Top is now seeing the effects of his affair with Boston reflecting on Mew. Even with Mew rubbing Ray in Top's face, he still is only worried about Mew and what is happening to him.

It's honestly slightly refreshing that Top isn't taking the jealousy approach because he knows that at the moment he's lost that right. He can't blame Mew for running to Ray because Top set him on that path.

Top was presented to us as a selfish character, one who is used to getting what he wants, and not having much to work for (a little bit like Boston). Him going to Cheum and voicing his concerns for Mew, even taking a little bit of heat from Cheum (you go girl), shows character development on Top's part, and honestly gives me a little bit of hope for their end game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to touch on Mew for a sec, and his "relationship" with Ray.

I think it is so intentional the way that they have framed this phrase for Mew and Ray. How Ray is someone that Mew "should" love, but obviously doesn't, because Mew loves Top and knows deep down that Ray will never fulfill that role in his life (the same way Mew can't fulfill that role in Ray's). Even hesitating to kiss him when they are alone is evidence enough that Mew is pretending.

Curving Ray's kiss and saying they should go and have fun is ultimate "get me out of here" behavior. Mew doesn't want Ray. Simple as that.

I also need to call out the fact that the next time we see RayMew kiss is because Mew is trying to prove a point to Top. Only then does he use Ray to make him jealous, but isn't actually willing to do it in private.

Top's face during this whole scene made me sad tbh. I really felt for him, he was manipulated by Boston and thrown under the bus by Nick. Overall, he did a shitty thing, but that doesn't mean he didn't love Mew or want to be a better person for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This scene called to action the fact that Mew is still jealous over Top. Calling him and Boston out for sitting next to each other and telling them they're free to hook up again was funny but also important to TopMew's relationship.

Top still being there for Mew, helping him when he was throwing up and then sitting next to each other on the floor gave me MAJOR SandRay Episode 1 parallels. But also look at Mew :(

He's asking Top why he has to be an asshole because he still loves him. He is in love with an asshole :((((( and I'd like to point out that this scene was the MOST chemistry that I have seen from these two thus far.

Both of them are hurt, and are hurting for the other. I think deep down, Mew wants to make amends, but also he needs to do this for himself. He needs to spiral a little bit to realize where he is headed. he needs to make Top hurt a little (as sad as that may be).

Top on the other hand is hurt because he did this. He caught feelings, and then messed up the person he loves. He doesn't know how to fix what he broke, but also knows that they are meant to be.

This is what really changed my mind on them. Before it felt like both of them had masks, and didn't really see each other, but now they're both at low points, and seeing each other for the first time. But still loving each other from afar despite the turmoil they're going through.

Top taking care of Mew after everything at the end of the night was so heartwarming. A man who probably has never been one to take care of others, spending what little time with Mew he can get.

I'm really looking forward to seeing where these two go, and huge props to ForceBook for the amazing acting job they're doing!

See you guys next week!!

[santoshm]

POV:- That feeling when the person you hate the most saves you.

[blorbingqls]

pathetic (affectionate) tired besties lets go

[hay1ock]

Pain for you. And pain for you. Pain for everybody.

Only Friends Episode 8 was a mess and I appreciate that lol.

Where to even start? These characters do be playing up this week.

I think I’ll start easy with Nick, who only got a couple of significant scenes this episode. Firstly, how freaking adorable was he as Detective Conan? (To be fair everybody looked amazing in their costumes) The glasses and hair and his little bow tie. He was super cute and you’d never think he’d be out here bugging cars lol. But yeah, before party time we get a scene and are introduced to Papang’s character, Dan. A senior, so a handful of years older, who’s offering him a job. I hate to say it, I already feel like Nick’s heading for more problems if he does end up pursuing a relationship. Firstly, he’s his boss, which is fine-ish, it will just depend on the power dynamics between them. And then how those dynamics translate to the Daddy Dan stuff we see in the preview. I was just wary of Dan saying there were ‘lots of issues’ with his previous relationship, so whether being called Daddy means he’s into dom/sub stuff and his other partner wasn’t… I guess we’ll have to see, and if that is the case, whether that’s something Nick is interested in exploring.

In terms of him and Boston this episode. Nick, baby, you really need to let it go. I felt bad for him as he happily chatted away about getting a position at the animation company. But I understand why Boston is doubly pissed at him now what with Mew getting hold of Gap’s recording. And as much as I hate agreeing with Boston, he is right, it’s not really Nick’s place to judge him, especially in light of his own actions regarding the wiretap. Also, I enjoy his continued friendship with Sand. I’m glad they were able to makeup and stay friends after Sand’s betrayal of trust.

Boston was also pretty straightforward this episode. He was mostly just minding his own business with a side of irritating Top. Their scene made me chuckle but knew as soon as they were together they’d end up getting spotted by Mew. The fact Boston was looking at the photo of him and Nick this episode is interesting. I don’t know if it’s ‘feelings’ as such for Nick, but maybe he kind of misses him as they had been spending a lot of time together. Whether anything else happens between them, I’m not sure. It seems both Nick and Boston will be exploring new people. Oh Atom. I can’t decide if he’s going to end up being Nick 2.0 or if it is casual curiosity about his sexuality and men. Boston wouldn’t be the worst person to explore that if feelings stay out of it. It’ll be interesting what goes on between them. Also, as a part-time Cheum non-appreciator (sorry Cheum fans) I enjoyed Boston getting back at her a little at the pool side.

And so onto the mess that is Ray and Mew and Top and Sand.

Back to the beginning of the episode. I find the Ray and Mew dynamic really sad. As much as I would love for them to work out, the truth is, in their current states, they’re bad for each other. Where before Mew was a light, someone who could, to a limited degree, lift Ray up and help in keeping a handle on things, now Mew is spiralling down to meet him. Heartbreak and betrayal can make people act out so I can understand Mew’s desire to be someone else for a little while. Being a ‘good’ boy got him nothing good. It’s interesting to me how his style in clothes and obviously the vices he’s trying are very Ray-ish in particular. I suppose his only other immediate blueprint would be Boston, and sex with just anyone probably isn’t as easy for someone like Mew.

I wonder if Ray would have been as forthcoming with meeting Mew’s requests if Mew hadn’t thrown out the possibility of them getting together? If Ray had stayed firmly in the friend zone would he have been able to hold back, try and support Mew via other means? As it is, Mew has offered him a chance to be with him. Personally, I don’t think they’re together together, more in some strange pre-boyfriend trial period like Top was put into. He’s flirting with the idea, trying to view Ray and their relationship through a different lens. Mew keeps saying he should love him, not that he does. He’s probably not ready to be in another relationship straight away and I would like to think that maybe Mew is aware enough of his feelings (or lack of) to keep Ray at a distance. Like he knows it won’t work out and maybe this way they can avoid too much hurt when the party inevitably ends - at least when he’s thinking clearer and not high and drunk.

Ray is kind of stuck in this place of wanting to please Mew and going along with everything. And it doesn’t help that Ray’s unable to admit he himself has a problem where drink and drugs are concerned, that he needs help, so we can’t expect him to be able to make a rational decision on someone else’s behalf (though he did query the cigarette at first).

Mew right now, isn’t the person Ray fell in love with. I don’t want to say he is using Ray but it’s hard to ignore that he is at some points - as an escape/distraction, as a way to get access to and indulge in bad habits, and as a way to get back at Top. The way he wouldn’t kiss Ray in private but would in front of Top.

Talking of Top, I’m kind of proud he was able to stay calm and not slap Mew when he ended up with a face full of drink. He’s a better person than me lol. But then to stand any chance of getting Mew back, he needs to let himself be Mew’s punching bag. He needs to take all the hurtful words and actions and hope at some point there can be some forgiveness. Again, I have no idea what I would do in Mew’s situation. I feel like it’s possible he could take Top back (I mean it’s classed as a BL right? So, chances are they’ll come back together by ep 12 unless there’s a 2nd Season or something). He clearly still has feelings for Top, thinking about him at the bookstore and his little ‘why’d you have to be an asshole’ and sad eyes while sat on the kitchen floor. And it’s also apparent Top fell for Mew and regrets sleeping with Boston. However, I’m still wary of him because of certain behaviours of his in earlier episodes. The Boston thing was shitty, but there was a degree of manipulation and misinformation from Boston. Top just ended up being weak and did something incredibly stupid there was no way of taking back. It’s some of the more possessive type behaviours that bother me, though honestly, Mew isn’t exactly a pushover so maybe I need to start forgiving Top a little bit too… that is assuming him having an envelope full of money ready to hand over was pure coincidence *narrows eyes*. I’m glad he bailed Ray out but I can’t help but keep being suspicious of Top. Like what was his little glance and expression after handing over the bribe? Just him being all shady because he’s bribing a policeman, or some smug ‘you owe me’, or satisfied with himself because it was all part of a plan? I dunno. Top’s expressions are often hard for me to read to be honest, I want to start thinking well of him, but guess we’ll find out soon enough if there was anything more to the situation with the cops than an unfortunate (and fortunate in the end for Ray) series of events.

The last scene between Top and Mew got me feeling two ways. One, I think it was incredibly sweet and responsible of him that he took care of Mew. But, two, as much as a hug can be great and comforting, I feel he crossed a boundary by snuggling up to a passed out Mew, considering they are currently not together. I don’t know if we’ll see Mew waking up trouserless and in Top’s arms and get a reaction, or if Top will have moved away from him/left, or skip past all that (seems Boston and Atom scene is a continuation of the same night in the preview). But yeah, I know he loves and misses him and is probably struggling with his insomnia/trauma now he’s alone - maybe that’s why he seems a bit more subdued because of lack of sleep - I hope he hasn’t returned to drugs or even abusing the (what I assume were) prescription ones. I just think in that moment he should have kept to doing only what was necessary in caring for Mew - stick him in the recovery position in case he pukes again and watch over him from afar or at least the other side of the bed.

And continuing the whole crossing boundaries, let’s hop back to the start again and Ray and Sand. That first scene between them outside the bar got me in the feels. I felt so bad for Ray as the hope fell from his face about them remaining friends. He was losing what had become his happiness and relief from the shitty on repeat cycle that had been his life. I get why Sand is doing it and certainly feel bad for him here too. Like I said, I don’t feel like Mew and Ray are anywhere close to claiming to be together, more testing the waters and as Ray said, Mew had let him step out of the friend zone. It really felt like he was saying ‘unlike you and me’ to Sand. I’m not ignoring Sand’s feelings, I’m all for him cutting ties with people or things that cause him pain. He’s doing it for his own benefit, and because of his ex he does his best to guard his heart, it just sucks that in doing so and keeping (or more like struggling to keep) Ray at a distance at every chance meant Ray’s feelings never got a chance to move on properly from Mew. I believe he was trying to until things got shook up by Boston and then Sand’s own desire for revenge on Top. Ray, even up to this point, is the one to ask of Sand is okay, if he’s okay with their ‘friendship’ and Sand always claimed to be, shutting down the chance of any kind of conversation about the possibility of anything beyond ‘friends’ - emergency staff, friend, fellow human being, nothing to do with me, I care about you and so does your dad. I feel bad that they never got a chance to explore things properly and god the ‘Let me go already’ line cut deep. (The preview gives me hope that Sand might use all his words this next episode - but shall wait for all the context as wouldn’t mind a proper clarification on where Ray and Mew stand with each other if things were to happen between Ray and Sand).

The Plug and Yo situation go me all, nooooo. I would say it was nice to get a scene from them but why’d it have to be this one? Well, I know why in terms of mirroring feelings and stuff with our main couples. It did hurt though, and apparently, made Ray forget that Sand was trying to step away as he turns up at the music room. Sand is the one Ray wants to tell about his day in court. Honestly, it’s kind of like a little kid excited to tell their parents what they got up to at school that day. Ray upped his ‘na na na’ game with cute little knee pokes. I’m a weak woman, he had me at the first poke. I saw Sand smile though lol. I know there was some behind the scenes stuff posted by staff that had kids, so wonder if we’ll see them carrying out the community service together. We ended on Sand’s little dunno/whatever shrug lol.

And so, we’re back at the party. I started off feeling bad for Ray over all the Mew stuff. He’d gone along with the cigarette early, the party and what I can only assume is Mew wanting to try drugs. In a way it’s probably better Mew do it with Ray and in a reasonably safe place if he’s insisting on trying all these new things. Ray, I assume, knows to a degree what he’s doing with the drugs and was there to check Mew was okay, at least at the start of the party. It was clear by Mew’s face he didn’t feel enough for Ray to want to kiss him. Ray’s hope though was reignited slightly when Mew took hold of his hand and led him down to the party. Drink and drugs kicking in and the appearance of Top and well… once more feeling bad for Ray. Mew stating he only cares about himself now then kissing Ray in front of Top… ugh. Everybody is hurting and then going on to hurt other people. I’m kind of hoping this’ll be Mew’s lowest point and he can start building himself back up next episode, but I don’t know considering the preview. He doesn’t seem to be out with Ray and being hit on by someone and then seems Top took a page from Ray’s book this episode in regards to cockblocking Mew lol. It’s all good fun.

And then yeah, Sand and Freddie. The guy seemed really sweet actually. Also, being bi, it was nice to hear Sand say he was too. But then in barrels coked up, drink in hand Ray. Wasn’t feeling bad for him at this point as he had no right to do what he did to Sand. I get he’s high, confused as hell about his feelings for Mew and Sand, not at all satisfied with his situation with Mew who seemingly kissed him and vanished as Ray is all alone and Mew is later. Once again, but not to the same erratic degree as the birthday party, fuelled by drugs and drink, Ray got mean and was lashing out. That’s a reason, but not a justification. He did wrong and I’m glad Sand told him so. Sand is capable of saying no. Up to now, I believe he’s given in because he wanted to and Mew hadn’t been in the picture beyond Ray’s lingering feelings. The current situation with everybody though, no, I agree with Sand wanting to put his foot down, no matter how much I want them to find a way to be together happy.

What happens between them is up to them. Some people are not built to deal with people with mental health issues or addiction. Sand can’t stop caring, and when the police arrive his first thought is to find Ray despite what went down. I can understand that. Having woken to a tirade of abusive messages from someone I knew who was an alcoholic, past my initial surprise and trying to work out what I’d done to deserve such messages, I was very much concerned and wanted to make sure they were okay. Though I relate to Ray a lot, I also share some of Sand’s traits when wanting to take care of others, even above taking care of myself at times.

That scene with the cops though. I’ve seen enough news reports about what can happen and seeing a knee on Ray’s neck and Sand calling for him to stay still was pretty scary. Ray’s slow crumbling as Cheum spoke, to him crying out and breaking down was heartbreaking. I still don’t know if it’ll be enough for him to admit he has a problem though. I’m looking forward to seeing how we move on from the mess of this episode.

Okay, and now for a section on Cheum. If you’re a Cheum does no wrong and OMG she’s the bestest friend ever kind of person feel free to skip this last part, because though I don’t think she’s all bad, I was annoyed by some of the things she said this episode. This is just how I felt. I know others think she was right to say the stuff she did and, like I said, she’s not all bad and some of her points are valid, but this is me mostly getting off my chest what irked me.

The first scene of her watching Ray and Mew, all I got from this is that she was jealous that Mew was spending more time with Ray than her - April even said, he’ll come back to you when he’s had enough. He. Just Mew. Because apparently fuck Ray. The way she said since being with Ray, Mew was skipping class and drinking all the time. Now, hold up, is Mew skipping because of Ray or is it because he’s not used to drinking and so feeling ill the next day. Is Ray skipping too with Mew? Did he used to skip? Does she even care? As far as we’ve seen, Ray drags his hungover ass into class, be him nearly falling asleep at the front of class, or face planted on his desk. Obviously, we don’t know if he always makes it in. They’ve been uni friends for 4 years (haven’t figured out if anyone was friends beforehand as it seems they all live reasonably close to the university - Mews parents owned the apartment he moved into, Ray and Boston seem to live in their family homes, and Cheum/Atom work at that café hangout place so might be family owned) so we’re jumping into this group of friends not aware of everything, so who knows how often Ray skipped, if at all. She also mentioned Mew wasn’t picking up her calls. Like, if you’re that worried go and see him. You were round his place post-birthday party chaos so not like you don’t know where he lives. Hell, if he won’t listen how about remembering Ray exists and cares about Mew and maybe try talking to him about how you’re worried. Ray had hints of being concerned over the cigarette and trying to reassure Mew at the bookstore that he was fine the way he used to be. Maybe together you could have tried supporting Mew instead of coming across as jealous.

And then her talk with Top. Again, some good points in there but also once more she sounded jealous about Mew hanging out with Ray too much, plus also - We used to stop him (Ray). You did? When? Look I get they’re at university and drinking and partying is part of that experience but saying you used to stop him means you know there’s a problem, right? I know we can’t expect others to give things (alcohol) up because of someone else’s problem with it and they’re university students so still learning about life and can’t be expected to do everything right. I just feel like even two years in the past after Ray’s bath tub moment, they’re drinking and she’s shit-faced. As Ray is enabling Mew, they’ve enabled Ray by continuously surrounding him with alcohol. I don’t know. I’ll say it again, we’ve only seen a small part of their 4 year course and time together so… maybe I’m too harsh, but this is how I felt at the time about what she said.

And then, inviting Top to the party. What was the reason you said Mew was changing when you were talking to Top, Cheum? Oh yeah, Top. Yes, yay, thank goodness he was there to deal with Ray and Mew’s bad situations, but I doubt seeing Top made Mew drink any less, in fact, I’m pretty sure it only made him drink more.

I shall pop it in here that I agree with her calling out Ray for using drugs at the hostel. It’s a business and he needs to remember that.

And then the lecture when Ray is caught by the cops. I agree both he and Mew need to call it quits and address what they’re doing to themselves and others. But to lay all the blame on Ray yet again… Being friends (with Mew) was good enough, did she happen to give Mew the same criticism being as he opened up the opportunity of being more than friends to Ray? The hostel - he never wanted to run it with her just something to do with Mew. Mew was the one making plans for Ray’s future, because I doubt Ray thinks about life past the end of his next drink to be honest. Mew seemed to be the driving force behind it, Ray and the others pretty much just let themselves go along with it. Plus she was happy enough spending Ray’s dad’s money for the pool party she wanted to have.

Ugh. Maybe I’m too harsh. It’s probably my protective instincts over Ray heightening my annoyance with her. When Ray’s functioning day to day and has a semblance of control on his life, Ray is sweet but needy, especially around Sand, and clearly cares about the people around him. Drunk and high as a fucking kite, he’s either an ‘I love you guys’ idiot or can be cruel if his emotions have been put through the wringer and he’s lost and confused. He needs help and it’s hard to watch at times.

Anyway, a couple more hours and we’ll see what comes next. Please, a little less pain this week.

[kdbl143]

this is me before watching the episode 8 of Only Friends:

[faith-gigliorosa]

only friends the series (+ep.8) | boston & nick } [nightcall]

I'm gonna tell you something you don't want to hear.

[theautisticvampirearmand]

Literally everybody at the party that aren't in the main group as 20 different dramas happen in the space of an hour

[misspoetree]

It's Joker & Harley Quinn y'all

[gunsatthaphan]

I'm having trust issues 🤨

[victorialovesstiles]

Is it a positive or negative outcome now that Ray is aware of Sand's feelings for him?

I think it was necessary.

We accept the love we think we deserve: Ray knows that Mew is settling for him but he is willing to accept that, because he knows that Mew at least cares. Meaning Mew at least wants Ray to be alive. It is a low bar for caring but unfortunately, due to Ray's trauma, that amount of caring is enough.

I think Ray learning Sand's feelings is going to open up Ray's view of what love can be. How it can feel when it's done right, when it's real - when it's untainted by desperation and grief.

Once he can compare the two, he will see that how he feels towards Mew and, more importantly, how Mew feels towards him is different than what he shares with Sand. Different and not right.

In my opinion, Ray was not going to be able to be better until he knew Sand's feelings:

He was not going to come to the conclusion that he wasn't in love with Mew (the way he thought he was for years) all on his own... for the same reason that he is not going to wake up one day and decide to be clean with no outside force to help him along.

Ray feels he is worthless, a burden, unloveable. How do you find the strength to fight the demons inside if you don't even mind being eaten alive?

But now he knows that Sand loves him and Sand is a good person, a worthy person. There is hope in being loved and a feeling of belonging that Ray has been missing in his life up until this point.

Sand's love will give Ray a reason to fight. A reason to believe he is worth being saved, if only because Sand is worth being saved.

Ultimately, Sand is going to save Ray's life, in more ways than one. Sand will have to be strong, brave, raw and it won't be easy... but do I think things can end positvely for both if Sand can open up his heart and Ray can use that intimacy as shelter to change for the better?

100%.

[tswizzlesfan]

im a sandray girlie but when i tell you I CHEERED when sand pushed ray when he said all that problematic shit to him I CHEERED

THAT'S MY BOY YES WE DONT TOLERATE THIS BS IN THIS HOUSEHOLD

god bless i love sand so much

[sandrayofsun]

Gagged with a capital G - EP. 8

Holy mother of God I don't even know what happened to me when this episode ended. I think I ascended to heaven and back. This is going to be a long post filled with thoughts and feelings (and I have no one else to talk about this to) so buckle up!

Starting off with this first scene... not even 2 mins in and I was already tearing up. This entire conversation was so interesting to me because BOTH of them are fully aware of their feelings, yet neither one is willing to speak up. Ray is "happy" to be with Mew, and Sand is "happy" that Ray finally got who he wanted (supposedly🙁).

Major props to sand for standing his ground during this conversation even though you could see unshed tears in his eyes (go First!!!!🤞). You can feel the love he has for Ray simmering beneath but also the dejection that he feels towards seeing that Ray picked Mew.

This is not the face of someone who is happy with the decision they made. Khaotung really stepped up his acting in this scene because I swear I saw like 18 emotions go through him all at once (slay my king!!🤌). He has formed such a strong attachment to Sand and is now realizing what it means to have chosen someone else (and I don't think he feels too good about it).

THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE!!!!! Sand asking for Ray to let him go, and RAY LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT!!!! This had me seriously gagged to the core, I didn't even know what to do. Looking at it simply, they are both just sad. Sad at the fact that they know they can't be friends, but also won't admit their feelings, but it bothers them that they don't have each other😭. Seeing what unfolded afterwards with Yo and Plug was even a bigger eye opener for them because it was a direct parallel.

~~~MOVING ON!~~~

I think all of us got a little excited we we're going to get the "now that you've walked into my life..." scene, however, I actually really enjoyed this scene in between everything else that was happening because it shows Ray's dynamic with Sand during a regular time, right after showing his dynamic with Mew (pre-halloween). It gives us insight into the fact that despite Ray being with Mew, it still isn't enough for him. He is still wondering why Sand won't answer his messages, and still wants to spend time with him, even though they had that conversation at the bar and Sand asked to be let go. Ray can't/won't let go of Sand. *Bonus cute Ray pouty face*

What's funny to me is that Ray doesn't even realize what it means that he craves Sand's company. He has no problem verbalizing that being with Sand makes him happy (also in their bar conversation🧐) and isn't shy about asking to spend time with him. Yet, Sand still calls out the fact that Ray can spend time with Mew, but Ray doesn't even acknowledge it. Even using the excuse of Mew not being able to play instruments as a justification for seeking out Sand.

^^^^ I mean seriously look at that cute little face rn. I don't even blame Sand for folding like a wet tissue because I too would fold.

~~~MOVING ON PT.2~~~

The entire SandRay Halloween party sequence was BONKERS. I must applaud FirstKhao because they are mopping the floor with the other couples as far as chemistry goes (no shade to the other couples!!! I'll touch on them in a separate post).

POSSESSIVE RAY STANS STAND UPPPPP😩!!!!

Finally we have Ray witnessing the consequences of his actions. Literally seeing him looming behind Sand and the other guy, pushing him away, questioning Sand about what he's doing, saying he wants to sleep with him, then kissing him to establish dominance over the other guy. CHEF'S KISS😮‍💨. Now, obviously anyone with eyes can tell this behavior is toxic, but I simply have not seen this possessive side of Ray with anyone, not even Mew. It was nice to see Sand getting a little bit of attention in that regard. Was it healthy? No. Does Sand deserve better? Yes. But was it hot as hell and real as fuck? 100%.

FIRST KANAPHAN THE MAN THAT YOU ARE😩

He looked good enough to eat in his costume (I'm sorry I had to say it or I was gonna scream lol). I don't blame Ray for seeing his (boy)friend flirting with someone else while looking like that😭. Anyways, Sand standing his ground ONCE AGAIN was so elite of him, he refuses to be number 2 and I am here for it.

Listen guys... Say what you want but Ray ate this little bit up lmao. I chose to take this as progress in a way because Ray is finally bringing up the feelings between the two, and Sand made himself clear that he will not settle for less than first *no pun intended*. I must also state that I found Ray's possessiveness funny lmao because he had literally JUST kissed Mew (love of his life or whatever🙄) and then goes and get's pissed at Sand for even looking at someone else. And also kisses him?? Did he really need to get rid of Mew's kiss that badly🤨??

~~~Last scene hehe~~~

Sorry this post ran a little long but if you made it this far you're Sexy.

Sand throwing literally any beef he had with Ray out the window and into the rubbish bin to help him made my heart ache a little. No matter what Ray does, Sand will always be his emergency staff, no complaints, no conditions, no questions asked. Going as far as to lie to a police officer and coming up with excuses to help him shows how far Sand is willing to go for Ray. I hope this is something the Ray takes note of and appreciates.

This whole part honestly was pretty hard to watch, especially with the police brutality that a lot of people face around the world. I think the show did a good job of showing what this can look like on a smaller scale, and calling attention to it.

It once again showed Sand's loyalty to Ray, trying to hold on to him when the cops grabbed him, and telling him to stay still. Putting myself in his shoes, idk if I could bare the visual of the person I love getting handled that way.

Overall, this may be my favorite episode of the entire series. and I will say that it finally felt like FirstKhao were getting the screen time they deserved.

I physically gasped when I saw the preview for next week's episode because we're getting communication, and uninterrupted SandRay road trip (yeehaw😎).

Sorry again for this long post

See you guys next week!!

[santoshm]

We know Ray has a lot of issues, but the second hand embarrassment I got for Ray this whole episode!!! Damn!!