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#we did game changer for the first one
whoopseydaisy · 1 month
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so i want to, in the style of murph and brennan, have a dinner with my dm about the characters im making for gamp so naturally im relistening to the deadeye short rest to see the start of the going to dinner bit and i have realized.
the stranger, the man in black, the pilgrim under the stars, he who has held his breath since the beginning of the world is SO deadeye cybin coded
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aceofshitposts · 2 years
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Have you considered... JayTim cabinfic? 👀 👀 👀
i'm considering it as we speak
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It's supposed to go like this: Tim is working a case tracking down a corrupt politician. Said politician is also part of one of Jason's human trafficking cases.
Who is also taking a very convenient vacation into the mountain wilderness where he will be attending a conference.
Timothy Drake-Wayne will also be in attendance with his body guard.
They attend the conference, bust the human trafficking and are home before the holidays.
What it actually goes like is this: Tim and Jason arrive to the resort village where this is supposed to go down just in time for a freak blizzard to blow in, dropping the temperatures enough to rival a Mr Freeze incident.
The politician's flight is cancelled along with the conference, losing both Tim and Jason months of work.
Now they're stuck together in an overpriced two room cabin, being told the storm will blow over any day now.
That was three days ago.
Which would be fine, Tim has certainly been through worse except...
Well. He must have some kind of cabin fever from being stuck in such a small space with Jason because Jason keeps...
(This is the part of the story where is Tim was trying to retell this to the family Jason would helpfully interject with, "being nice? Attempting to hit you over the head with hints?" and Tim would turn beet red and tell him to shut up.)
They've barely argued the entire time, Jason insisted on making all the food (and thank god for all the food these rich resorts would stock the fridges with despite knowing most rich people would just end up eating at the various resort restaurants) and he keeps goddamn smiling at Tim.
Maybe they're both suffering from cabin fever, actually.
The power hasn't gone out yet at least; due to the underground electrical grid to "preserve" the view although every communication tower and wifi signal in the area is kaput. Which gives them plenty of opportunity to watch the ample DVD collection that Tim is half convinced is only there for aesthetic purposes.
There's everything anyone could ever want here from explosion heavy action movies, to comedy to the complete collection of Saw movies.
Somehow though, they've ended up steadily making their way through various romantic holiday movies.
"She reminds me of you," Jason says about the plucky, career oriented female lead who was currently oblivious to the male leads obvious flirting.
Tim snorts. "I'm not like that."
"I wouldn't be so sure," Jason mutters, frustration obvious even as he keeps his eyes trained on the screen. Plucky female lead throws the coffee cup with male lead's phone number written on it in the trash, never even noticing the number was there.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tim snarls, turning to sit sideways on the couch so he can round on Jason. Why would he be choosing now of all times to start picking a fight? Is this about something with the case? If it was why wouldn't Jason say anything sooner--
"How many times do I have to walk around shirtless after a shower or give you heart shaped pancakes for you to get it? We're sitting here watching romance movies."
What?
"I thought the pancakes were just a fluke?"
Jason barks out a laugh, head dropping to his hands.
"Once is a fluke, Tim, I made heart shaped pancakes three days in a row."
There really isn't anything Tim could possibly say to save face at this moment.
Unfortunately, neither his brain or mouth get that message and he says, "oh, shit."
They truly are both afflicted with cabin fever at this point because Jason starts laughing, gasping for air and shoulders shaking with his head still covered by his hands.
Tim hiccups once before he's laughing too, gripped by the absolute madness that is his life.
"You're an idiot," Tim says five minutes later through more hiccups.
"Me?! You're the one who wilfully ignored heart shaped pancakes!"
"Fine, we're both idiots. You" - Tim emphasizes this by reaching over to punch Jason in the shoulder - "could've just said something, though."
"So, you're saying I should have dyed the pancakes red?" Jason asks with a smirk that Tim wipes off his face by launching himself at Jason and kissing him.
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iamthedukeofurl · 3 months
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Everybody acts like each new Game Changer is a new level of betrayal and psychological torture from Sam towards his friends. Did we forget that the very first game changer was "Sam wheels out a strange machine and asks the contestants embarrassing personal questions, the veracity of their responses is judged by the Machine. The machine is actually controlled by the contestant's significant others who have been made accomplices. Forcing their loved ones into revealing shameful truths for internet broadcast." And sure, he's gotten a bit more personalized with these, constructing a variety of torture chambers for Brennan Lee Mulligan specifically, putting Grant O'Brien in various situations and then bringing his mother onto the set. But deception and betrayal were part of Game Changer from the beginning. So, when I hear people say "I can't believe Sam WENT THERE" about something all I can do is think to myself He went nowhere He's been there the whole time
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harrysfolklore · 2 months
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vogue beauty secrets - jacob elordi blurb
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MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
YN's Guide to Glowing Skin and Easy Everyday Makeup
"Hey everyone, It's YN," you said as you stood in your bathroom, face bare of any products and a comfortable top on, "I'm going to be talking you through my skincare routine and my everyday makeup look."
"Just so you guys know, it's really early over here," you said as you took out your products from your skincare bag, "My boyfriend is still sleeping I think," you smiled at the mention of him, "You might know him from his bathwater in the movie Saltburn, I don't know if you're familiar with that."
Playfully talking about each other in interviews was a really common thing for both of you and Jacob to do, and fans absolutely loved it.
"So first things first, gotta cleanse the face," you showed your cleanser to the camera and then applied it to your face smoothly and washed it off, "Now this face mask, has gotten me more compliments about my skin than anything else I've ever used, even Jacob is obsessed with it and steals it from me all the time," you couldn't help but mention him again, "So I will do a generous amount, which is like pea size for me."
You applied the face mask all over your face and waited 15 minutes to take it off and move on to your makeup.
"Before applying any makeup, we need to put sunscreen on," you showed the bottle to the camera, "I never leave the house without this, I have one in my bag at all times. It's so important."
You rubbed the product all over your face, making sure to cover every inch of your skin correctly.
"So, let's start," you grabbed your makeup bag and took your foundation out, "I'm obsessed with this illuminous silk foundation, I discovered one time I visited Jacob on the Euphoria set and I saw the makeup artists using it, it has been my go to ever since."
You grabbed your pink beauty blender and gently applied the foundation on your face, getting closer to the camera to show the process better.
"I learned how to do my makeup by watching how other people did it," you said as you applied the product on your nose, "I think I've gotten very good at it, or at least I would like to believe so."
"Now, It's time for concealer," you showed the product to the camera, "We're running low people, someone might be stealing some from me," you said as you tried to grab the most product you could and applied it under your eyes, "Okay, concealer is done, now let's do some contour."
Just as you grabbed your brush to apply the contour, you heard some noises coming from the bedroom, "Guys I think Jacob just woke up," you said as you moved the brush around your face, "So we have to be very quiet so he doesn't crash my video, okay?"
You heard the bedroom door open and some footsteps down the stairs, and you guessed that Jacob was looking for you in the kitchen.
"Alright, contour is done," you continued in a hushed tone, "Now, let's move on to blush." You picked up a peachy blush and lightly applied it to the apples of your cheeks, blending it out with your fingers. "I love this blush because it gives such a natural flush to the cheeks, perfect for everyday wear."
Next, you reached for a neutral eyeshadow palette and selected a soft brown shade. "For my everyday makeup look, I like to keep it simple on the eyes," you explained as you applied the eyeshadow to your lids, blending it into the crease. "Just a wash of color so I don't look completely dead."
"Now, for my favorite part - mascara," you exclaimed as you held up a mascara tube, "I think mascara is a game-changer. It instantly opens up your eyes and makes you look more awake."
You applied a few coats of mascara to your lashes, making sure to cover from the roots to the tips.
"YN?" you heard Jacob's voice calling for you, making you instantly laugh.
"I don't know if you guys heard, but Jacob is calling for me," you said as you checked your mascara in the mirror, "Let's ignore him until he figures out I'm here."
"Now, last but not least, lips," you said as you grabbed a nude lipstick. "I like to keep it natural with a nude shade for everyday wear." You applied the lipstick to your lips, finishing off the look.
Just on cue as you applied the last touched of lipstick, you heard the bedroom door creak open behind you. You turned around to see Jacob standing in the doorway, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," you greeted him with a smile, trying to stifle a giggle at his sleepy state.
"Morning, love," Jacob blinked a few times, trying to wake up fully, "What are you up to?"
"I'm filming a skincare and makeup video for Vogue," you explained, motioning to the camera set up on the counter. "I was just finishing up, actually."
Jacob walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder to look at the camera.
"Oh, am I interrupting?" he asked, glancing at the camera with a devilish grin.
"Just a little," you chuckled, "But it's okay, you can join if you want."
"Nah, I'll let you finish," Jacob leaned in and pressed a kiss to your cheek, "I'll just be in the background, quietly judging your makeup skills," he teased, earning a playful swat from you.
"Hey, I'll have you know, I've gotten pretty good at this," you said, pretending to be offended.
"I know, I know," Jacob laughed, planting another kiss on your cheek, "You always look beautiful, even without makeup," he said sweetly.
You couldn't help but smile at his words, feeling a warm flutter in your chest. "Thank you, babe, you're really sappy," you replied softly, turning to give him a quick kiss.
"I'll let you finish your video. I'll make us some breakfast," he called out as he disappeared from view.
"Well, it looks like I've got breakfast waiting for me," you turned back to the camera, a smile still lingering on your lips, "I better wrap this up," you said to the camera, giving a little wave. "Thanks for watching, and thank you Vogue for having me, I hope some of this beauty tips are helpful for all of you. Bye!"
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dumbseee · 11 months
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gentleman.
in which nothing is easy for a woman in a "man’s world."
carlos sainz jr x journalist!reader.
fc: danna paola.
note: inspired by this. sorry for the typos and mistakes :(
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liked by lissiemackintosh, lilymhe, charlottesiine and 109 000 others.
y/n: living lil y/n’s dream ☁️
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charlottesiine: missing you love!
liked by y/n.
lissiemackintosh: you’re going to kill it y/n!
liked by y/n.
fan1: i want to be her so bad
fan2: she’s living my dream
fan3: so beautiful!
fan4: good luck y/n!
fan5: what does she knows about f1?
fan6: another clout chaser… i wonder which driver will be her first victim🤣
view all comments.
_
"hi carlos! first of all, congrats on p3, you did amazing!" you smiled, your mic in hand, shaking a little and trying to stay composed as carlos stood in front of you. he smiled at you, and you swore that you could faint right now. but you had to stay professional. "thank you…?" he said so you could tell him your name. "y/n l/n, it’s my first day." you smiled again and he smiled back, handing out his hand, that you obviously shook. "i have a question for you before letting you rest, how are you going to prioritise or how is it going to work with you to test everything, do you think it will be a game changer or not?" you asked, handing him the mic, he took it and started thinking. "good question! you have great questions y/n." carlos answered first before getting cut by someone behind you. "ha! mate, if you want her in your bed, no need to lie to her." another journalist said, and you could feel your heart fall in your stomach.
you knew that kind of thing was going to happen to you during your career. because it was well known that formula one was a man’s world and women had no business in it. you took a step back and bit your lower lip to stop the tears from falling. you knew you were qualified, you knew that you worked hard for it, it was your dream! but you felt utterly disrespected and embarrassed, you couldn’t even look at carlos anymore as you tried to back up to leave. but carlos wasn’t having that, he grabbed the mic you were still holding, which surprised you and pulled you back where you were previously standing. you looked up at him and was surprised to see how pissed he looked, his warm eyes were now cold and dark, his jaw clenched and his hand flexed against the mic which showed his veins.
"how dare you call yourself a man and talk to a woman like that?" he called out, the journalist turned bright red and struggled to find his words. "she heard the disgusting words you had to say about her and it hurt her, so you better apologise right now, and loud enough for the entire paddock to hear you." the man mumbled some apologies before running away, pushing some people out of his way which made the others people surrounding you laugh. carlos looked at you and smiled, putting his hand on your shoulder. "you have a bright future ahead of you, y/n. i’m looking forward to your interview in silverstone." he winked and finally disappeared, leaving you blushing and completely lost.
carlos sainz was definitely a gentleman.
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carlossainz55: amazing race for us! another podium for me and charles, thanks for the support guys! we must stay focus for the next race!
_
charles_leclerc: well said!
scuderiaferrari: proud of you boys!
fan1: YAAAAAAY
fan2: p2 and p3 for ferrari, i used to pray for times like this
fan3: who’s the girl on the fourth pic?
fan4: @.fan3 a random journalist
fan5: @.fan4 idk about random tho, that’s y/n l/n, the journalist carlos stood up for in autria
fan6: is that y/n l/n??
view all comments.
_
"congrats on p2 carlos!" you said with a big smile, you weren’t pointing a mic at him, you were actually heading back to your car when you bumped into the ferrari driver. he looked surprised to see you, but smiled back. "y/n! i was expecting you during the post-race interviews, where were you?" he asked, he was still wearing his race suit, tied up to his waist which had to be the sexiest sight you’ve ever witnessed. "i was feeling sick so i asked lissie to do them for me. i watched you- i mean, i watched you and max and charles of course!" you added, flustered and suddenly turning bright red. carlos laughed and patted your head which made your heart skip a beat. "haha! don’t worry cariño, i hope you’re feeling better, i need you to be there to interview me when i finally get to be p1." you smiled and nodded. "i promise to be healthy to interview you!" carlos smiled at you before walking to his car, you watched him leave and felt your cheeks getting hot when he turned around to wave at you before hopping in his ferrari.
carlos sainz was successfully playing with your heartstrings.
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liked by lissiemackintosh, charlottesiine, carlossainz55 and 345 010 others.
y/n: happiness is a butterfly.
_
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bogleech · 1 year
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Extremely long post about how you’re now allowed to erase your neopets faces (NEOPETS IS GOOD AGAIN: YOU CAN ERASE THEIR FACES.)
I have just learned that neopets recently added some wearable (neocash only though) items called the “be-gone cans” that let you hide different body parts, so there’s like eyes-be-gone and wings-be-gone.
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There’s a lot of caveats (the mouth one for some reason is locked behind a gacha capsule, the “body” one only removes minor extra details from the torsos of a few species, they don’t all work on all pets and they don’t even work on the same exact parts of the same species in different colors because of how they were coded) but at minimum ALL pets can at least have the eyes and mouths removed and this alone improves countless, countless designs. For instance if you didn’t like some of the invertebrate variants stuck with the pet’s usual face, now you can fix it:
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Same for the fruit and vegetable chias, they're SO good without faces, for reference here’s the mushroom chia with the horrible face all chias normally have:
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Awful. Just ghastly.
Now you can correct him and make him good:
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Look how fucking cute some of the other chias are this way:
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This is a fucking game changer, I actually care about neopets for the first time in a decade because I can take their faces off. They were born for this. They were waiting almost 30 years to be freed from their disgusting foul orifices. “Help me, mother” they say, “I am cursed with a mouth and can therefore all too easily scream!” as their famous catchphrase always went I think. At last their salvation is here. I mean, look at this sad lenny:
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We all know exactly why he’s canonically always so miserable! If there’s one thing he hates more than having legs to touch the earth’s filth and corruption it’s being able to see it.
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Now he’s happy! He wants this!
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And now he’s even happier i’ll bet!!!!!!!!!!
If you take the muzzle piece off the scorchio it even liberates their whole head from their neck as their god intended:
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Legit though some pets actually make better serious designs besides the nudibranch one, like if you take the eyes off any of the (already badass) transparent pets you get their deep abyssal cave version:
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Now look at some of the transparent pets with everything taken away that can be taken away:
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The uni is finally almost unrecognizable as an equine, its life long dream
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This isn’t like any of the dog designs in any of the silent hill games but it could exactly have been a dog design in a silent hill game, you know??
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God bless whatever artist refused to give the insectoid Ruki a normal vertebrate skeleton so you can make this gelatinous flying space angel
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But god bless whoever DID give the insectoid Buzz a vertebrate skeleton so you can make this HR Giger parasite embryo. Actually cannot pick between the two bug pets here as my new favorite neopets that are still technically available. THESE WINGS HAVE BEEN RETIRED SINCE 2012 OR I WOULD MAKE THIS PET:
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phefics · 8 months
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An idea: poly!ghostface- the boys are out about to go after a victim when they find they’re missing something/something broken (the phone isn’t working or their voice changer doesn’t have batteries whatever you want is totally cool!)
They realize- afab!reader the needy little whore did it on purpose so they’d have to come home to her and give her attention like they don’t give her attention 99% of the time.
Which of course they do and they are very very grumpy angy bois. All like “oh you missed us you wanted our attention you know you’d get it when we came home but you had to ruin our game and now we gotta take our energy and anger out somehow”
Followed by some smutty degradation, spanking/punishment, good ole fashion filth lol
Side note i think you have one of the easiest to understand request rules idk some people just make them complicated but yours is great!
needy little whore
ship: billy loomis x fem!reader x stu macher summary: exactly what the ask above says!! :) warnings: degradtion, spanking, a bit of knifeplay, rough/unprotected sex, face-fucking word count: 1.3k
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You knew that you were asking for trouble, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
It wasn’t that Billy and Stu weren’t giving you enough attention. In fact, to the average person, they would be considered abnormally clingy. It didn’t bother you, though, because you were the same way.
You would have survived one night without them, but you were feeling mischievous that night. You wanted to piss them off so that they’d take it out on you, because angry sex with Billy and Stu was a whole new level of adrenaline.
So, you stole the batteries out of their voice changer, and then hid all the other batteries in the house. You weren’t stupid: You knew the reason they wouldn’t be hanging at Stu’s tonight, and you didn’t mind that as much as you minded their attention being elsewhere.
Since Stu’s family was rarely home, you would often hang out there even when Stu wasn’t around. He didn’t care, and had even given you a spare key.
You watched the two boys head out the door, black backpacks surely stuffed with everything they’d need to carry out a brutal crime.
You popped in a VHS of Nightmare on Elm Street, then made yourself comfortable on the couch, wearing the most revealing pajamas you had. You had seen the way the boys looked at you before they left, and smirked to yourself.
You only made it about twenty minutes into the movie before you heard a car pull into the driveway outside. Anticipation built inside you, but you stayed put, looking innocent as ever as Billy and Stu burst through the front door, both looking absolutely pissed.
“What did you do?” Billy demanded.
You looked up at him with your sweetest expression. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t play stupid, Y/N,” Stu said. “You’re fuckin’ lucky we tested the thing first.”
“You trying to get us caught?” Billy asked, grabbing your wrist and pulling you up from the couch. “You know we can’t fuck you if we’re in jail, right? Is that what you want?”
You shook your head. “No, of course not—”
“Ruining our game just cause you wanna get fucked, huh?” Stu said, closing in behind you. You were trapped between them now, Billy still holding your wrist as Stu pressed himself against your ass; he was already hard, and you bit back a moan at the realization.
“I just—”
“Couldn’t wait til we got home?” Billy smirked, his voice dripping with mock sympathy. “You would have gotten what you wanted later, but the needy whole just couldn’t wait.”
Stu gripped your hips from behind, breathing against your ear. “Well, we gotta get our energy out somehow. But now it’s all gonna be focused on you, baby. We’re gonna fuckin’ destroy you.”
You whimpered as they manhandled you back onto the couch, the film still playing in the background.
“Look at these slutty clothes,” Billy practically purred. “Barely covering anything…”
Stu pulled a knife from the bag he’d been carrying, the blade glinting in the light. “Bet you won’t mind if we take ‘em off,” he said, using the sharp blade to cut the strap of your top, then doing the same to the other side.
You opened your mouth to protest, but Billy stroked your hair and whispered, “We’ll buy you somethin’ even prettier, m’kay?”
Before you could offer a response, he shoved his fingers into your mouth, and you sucked on them reflexively, making him chuckle.
“Such a fucking slut,” he said.
Stu pulled the remnants of your tattered clothes off, leaving you naked as Billy pulled his hand back, admiring the strings of spit on his fingers before licking it off. He and Stu were completely fucking depraved, and it turned you on more than you could handle.
You were quickly pushed onto all fours on the couch, and you could barely contain your excitement at the idea of them fucking you. But that was wishful thinking. Instead, a hand came down on your ass with a hard slap! making you yelp.
You turned your head to see that it was Stu who had hit you, and you pouted at him.
“Oh, don’t give me that pathetic face,” he said. “You thought we were just gonna give you what you wanted after that? Not a chance, baby. We gotta punish you first.”
He laughed as you whined in response, clearly enjoying your frustration.
They took turns spanking you, slapping your ass without mercy.
“Count them,” Billy had ordered.
Each number left your mouth between pained groans and squeaks, stuttering over nine and eleven and thirteen, but when they hit twenty, they stopped, apparently satisfied with your teary face and marked-up ass.
“Think we should give the whore what she wants?” Stu asked.
Billy hummed, considering it. “I doubt she learned her lesson, but I wanna fuck her too bad to care right now.”
“Agreed,” Stu said, and you stayed on your knees as the two of them stripped out of their clothes hurriedly, bickering about who was going to take what place.
“You always get to fuck her, let me—”
“Her mouth is just as good—”
“Do I get a say in this?” you asked.
“No,” the boys replied, grinning at their synchronized speech.
You couldn’t help but giggle as you watched them play a rigorous game of rock-paper-scissors for who got to fuck you, and your laugh only grew when Stu won, and Billy flipped him off.
Some nights they would take turns, but after the spanking that they’d given you, they were gracious enough to not push your limits too far.
You were already wet, but Stu took some time playing with your pussy, fingers fumbling through your folds to rub at your clit, and you bucked your hips uselessly, moaning at his touch.
Billy walked to the other end of the couch, grabbing you by your hair and smirking down at you. “You gonna let me fuck your throat, slut?” he asked.
You nodded, opening your mouth for him without needing to be asked. He chuckled at your obedience, and wasted no time in pushing his cock between your lips.
As he did so, Stu was lining himself up with your entrance, his grip impossibly tight on your hips and he entered you, slow at first, before immediately picking up the pace, snapping his hips rhythmically. Every time he thrust forward, it made Billy’s dick go further into your mouth, and the sounds of their moaning filled your ears as they used you like the needy whore you were.
Your eyes teared as you focused on breathing through your nose amidst the pleasure of Stu’s cock inside you. Before you met them, you could never cum from penetration, but both Billy and Stu had a way of fucking you so good, rough just like you wanted, that it had become more common for you to orgasm from it.
“So fuckin’ hot,” Billy murmured, almost to himself. “Perfect fuckin’ mouth.”
“Such a slut,” Stu added. “Taking us both at once. Gettin’ off on it, too.”
You whined at their words, floating from the mixture of praise and degradation.
Stu came first, and Billy followed shortly after, and the three of you collapsed onto the couch together, sweaty and tired.
Stu leaned over to you and kissed you, his tongue slipping into your mouth. You had a suspicion it was partly so that he could taste Billy’s cum, but you kissed him back anyway.
“Get a room,” Billy joked, making Stu giggle.
Nightmare on Elm Street was almost over, and you were sticky and exhausted.
“You wanna get cleaned up, baby?” Stu asked.
You nodded, and before you could say anything, he was carefully leading you to the bathroom, his arms supporting the majority of your weight.
Billy went upstairs to grab you some clothes to borrow—a pair of his pajama pants, and one of Stu’s t-shirts. It was all too big on you, but it was comfortable and smelt like them.
You fell asleep to the sound of Billy and Stu planning another night to carry out the plan that you’d ruined. Maybe next time you’d take the burner phones off their chargers.
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weirwoodsugar · 1 year
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lil jon things i am obsessed with/think are hilarious in the order they occurred to me at 3 am
-spends the first book telling anyone who will listen that he’s Not Afraid To Die and then a wight shoves its whole hand down his throat and he’s like wow that was actually extremely scary and never says that shit again
-always got little Things he says to himself but they’re all awful. very bad affirmation game no wonder morale is low
-“did lord eddard father you on a fish wife”
-the doubts that plague me can’t catch me if i just keep making Decisions!!! let’s hear it for Decisions!!!!
-arguably contender for top woman respecter but batting absolute zero at successfully comforting crying women. unless you consider “making her mad at you instead of upset” a success
-i’m not a wolf! i’m not a wolf!! i’m not a wolf!!! while warging like almost constantly with zero control. babe i don’t think your affirmations are working you’re experiencing non consensual smells at an alarming rate
-i wish mormont was my dad wait no i wish benjen was my dad wait no i wish qhorin was my dad wait no i wish donal noye was my dad. will someone be my dad please i just keep making decisions
-constantly having Agonies over ethical decision making while the rest of the continent hasn’t even really invented the concept of ethics yet? on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to his constant Agonies
-related: love is the death of duty but having strong ethical convictions/clear moral vision is also kind of the death of duty oops! aemon didn’t warn you about that one!
-stannis wants to davosify this kid mega bad
-“jon felt like he was fifteen again” (said when he’s literally sixteen)
-has a terrible violence in his heart but it’s kind of the least of his problems tbh. like yeah my fire and blood levels are a little elevated but i’ve got paperwork i need to take care of
-RUNNING DOWN THE TABLE AT YOU WITH A KNIFE!!!!!
-last of the giants fixation. god he’s gonna be so mad when he comes back and wun wun is dead. this one isn’t hilarious it’s deeply moving and endearing
-an eagle almost rips his eye out and he’s like well i guess i have no choice but to have sex with ygritte at least one dozen times. it’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it
-just a crazy amount of anime main character pre-loaded swag (bastard of winterfell skin changer with an albino direwolf and a cool sword which he can really SWANG and cool facial scars etc etc) and is actively working against it. rolled super high on charisma and is trying to balance it out by being as much of a boring fuddy duddy as he possibly can. the devil works hard (at making me cool) but i work harder (at being very uncool). it is an honorable thing to be swagless by choice…….
-pretty sure he actively enjoys saying no to people. just for love of the game (the game is being disagreeable). very capricorn coded. likely brushes his teeth in the shower.
-REMEMBER WE KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP 😈
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knight-a3 · 2 months
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Just some pre-triple changer Blitzwing and his best buddy Astrotrain.
Some ideas for what happened to the other triple changers(aka every successful experiment has a few failures preceding it)
I ramble on under the cut
SO! I know the S4 plans had it outlined that Black Arachnia was the one who did the triple changer procedure on Blitzwing, but it doesn't totally make sense for her to do it imo. None of the S4 plans were ever set in stone anyway, so it's not actually canon. I just don't see much precedent for her to do that. Where did this medical skill set come from?
Historically, iterations of Shockwave have been the resident unethical scientists. In TFA, he was shown to be capable enough to restore Arcee's memory, so I think there's grounds to believe he can still play that role.
Whoever it was, Blitzwing couldn't be the first test subject. What other triple changers do we know of that could potentially meet a tragic fate? 🤔
So my idea was that the Decepticons captured three autobots and decided to use them as test subjects for this revolutionary new triple changer idea. Two alt forms? Truly a game changer!
Broadside was a former con(due to his jet alt form) turned autobot. He was a total failure. Never made it off the operating table.
Sandstorm lasted a little longer. But his body soon rejected the modifications, and he went offline.
Springer lasted long enough to be rescued/escape. But his mental stability gradually declined until the mods failed and he also died.
After these three experiments failed, they turned to some of their own troops.
Octane was not a particularly well respected Decepticon, which is why he ended up being a test subject. He survived, but suffered severe mental damage and was deemed useless. Probably tossed out like trash and left to rust. If not outright killed.
Astrotrain: Considered the first success. The mental damages were minimized and he was initially fairly stable, but his transformation abilities became more sluggish over time. And he suffered increasingly severe mental lapses. He'd either stare vacantly or suddenly drop into recharge mode. They were worse if he didn't get enough energon, gradually requiring more and more to keep him going. Weapons capabilities were lost to conserve energy. He was on a transport mission when a lapse got him killed and Blitzwing injured(which made him the next triple changer test subject).
(Also, I don't like drastic mass shifting, so Astrotrain is bigger than the others. And I think I'm gonna treat him more like he's a portable space bridge, rather than big enough to carry multiple Decepticons. He can bridge others from the decepticon base to himself, or to base from himself (it's still a strategic disadvantage compared to the autobots' large network of space bridges). This requires Astrotrain to still physically travel places in order to transport others. And losing weapon capabilities requires an escort to travel with him. The other option is a pocket dimension like Swindle's)
Blitzwing: His personality was fractured, leading to erratic behavior. Turns out the fracture eased the processing load caused by the triple changing modification. But otherwise in working order physically and mentally. He's lasted longer than the others, and his condition hasn't deteriorated since.
ANYWAY, this has been my attempt to reconcile some headcanons with canon. While also maybe tweaking canon a little to fit
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yamujiburo · 5 months
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oh we're talking about my hyperfixation drawfee now huh??? 🤨🤨 how was your experience being in an episode with them! I know y'all already knew each other thru caldwell so I imagine fun lol
It was so fun! It was my first time doing a more “entertaining” video rather than the “informative” podcast type thing. I was definitely very nervous but everyone was super reassuring and chill. I got even more nervous when I was having technical difficulties but again, they just rolled with it and we made it work! Amazing experience and a delightful group of people 🥹
Caldwell did recommend me for the episode but I actually hadn’t met any of them other than Nathan until the day we filmed. Nathan came and visited us at Disney one day and that’s where I met him!
Somewhat related, keep an eye out for the drawfee game changer episode with Caldwell, Nathan and I 👁️
youtube
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willowrites · 2 months
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Bro hear me out .... Sam and Colby as ghostface but they are killing y/n and her friend group , she's the last one but they don't kill her . They just torture her and scare her because they are obsessed but cannot admit it 🔥🔥🔥 can you add non con if possible ? If not then that's fine either
I hope this didn't make you uncomfortable, if i crossed the line I'd like to apologise, hope you have a good day 😇
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LIVE OR DIE?
PAIRINGS. sam and colby x reader
SUMMARY. as you and your friend group were having a game night, you got a very interesting visit.
WARNINGS. blood, killing, implied sexual interaction (i don’t write non-con but i wrote enough for your interpretation and imagination)
AUTHORS NOTE. hi! this was very short but i wanted to write an ending that had you imagining what would come next! i didn’t want to write anything that would be someone uncomfortable so the ending is up for interpretation of what you’re comfortable with! hope you enjoyed and don’t apologize for anything! this is a judge free zone 💝
WORD COUNT. 1270
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“okay so tell me again, why the fuck can anyone stand matt donovan?” your friend myra asked.
“um, no one can.” you laughed while putting away the cards to cards against humanity. it was game night for you and your friends plus the guy you’ve been talking to. your friends each brought their own little plus one to the game night this time making things more interesting.
“that's true!” your friend athena agreed. “okay are we gonna start truth or dare?”
you nodded and clapped excitedly. “yes yes! okay let’s start everyone get in a circle.” you said pulling the hand of rafael, your talking stage’s, hand.
“okay who wants to go first?” zoey asked sitting close to her friend nick.
“ill do the honors.” you spoke. “hmm, ryan truth or dare?” you asked. ryan is myra’s little hookup.
“uhh…ill do truth.” ryan said.
“hmm okay, what's your favorite thing about myra?” you ask eyeing myra mouthing a ‘you’re welcome’
“probably how she’s always in a good mood and she looks for the best in people,” he answers.
“awww ryyyy.” myra squeals giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“awww grosss but so cute.” zoey compliments. “okay i have one, y/n truth or dare?" she asks you.
"hmm, ill pick tru-" your answer gets interrupted by the ring of your house phone.
you go toward the phone picking it up slowly.
“hi! this is y/n speaking.” letting them know who picked up.
“i know who you are. y/n.” a weird voice spoke through the speaker. the voice sending chills down your spine.
“uh…okay…what did you need?” you questioned suspecting something was up immediately.
“what do i need hm?” the voice asked. “need you to open your front door.”
“is this some kind of prank call or joke? yeah well fuck off it’s not funny.” you immediately hung up. “fucking losers. prank callers.”
you rolled your eyes.
“they even used a voice changer how patheti-” the ring sounded again.
you were frustrated the phone calls were interrupting your game night so you picked up quickly so you could end it quickly.
“hello?!” you asked a little more aggressively.
“that was quite rude.” the same voice said.
“listen, you’re not funny. you’re actually very fucking annoying and ruining our night so go find someone else to fuck with.”
“aw baby it’s funnier with you.” they laughed. “hey y/n.” the way they said your name had you shivering.
“what the fuck do you want.” you asked.
“truth or dare.” they spoke.
you froze. how did they…
you immediately hung up.
your heart was pounding. that had to have been a coincidence right? there wasn’t any way they could’ve been on the line during that…or worse.
watching you?
knock knock
your head whipped toward the door.
“what the fuck?” you whispered to yourself.
“i got it.” ryan stood up walking toward the front door.
he disappeared in the hall and you heard the door open.
silence.
no voices, no chatter, laughter. nothing.
“r-ryan? who is it?” your voice choked. there was a pit in your stomach.
you heard the door slam closed causing you and the others to jump.
nothing for a few seconds before ryan fell.
a knife in his chest.
your eyes widened in fear. you were frozen unable to comprehend what you were looking at.
at first, you thought it had been a joke but the closer you got the more the smile you had on wiped from your face.
“o-oh my fucking god!” zoey screamed. “what the fuck what the fuck!”
“holy shit.” nick chokes fear seen on his face.
“no no no ryan!” myra screams in agony. “call 911 call 911!” she cries.
you quickly nodded turning back to the phone you had just walked away from but bumped into someone.
you stumbled back before making eye contact with a person with a ghost face-looking mask.
no words came from their mouth.
this time you didn’t freeze. all you did was run.
“run run run! come on!” you shouted causing the rest of the group to scatter and try to escape.
myra was still on the ground crying to ryan who had been gone for a while now.
you stopped, trying to pull myra with you. “myra come on please!” you cried.
she shook her head. “no i can’t leave him here!” she sobbed.
“myra! myra! come on we got-” before you could finish your sentence myra got grabbed by her hair and slammed so hard to the wall that when she fell down she was already gone. her head bleeding onto the hardwood floor.
“n-no!” you screamed in fear. you looked around to see if anyone else was around but all you were faced with were dead bodies. the rest of the group lying on the floor.
you then saw not one but two of the figures of what you saw earlier.
you were on the ground but tried to stand up. your legs so shaky all you could really do was scoot backward until you were met with the doorframe to the hall.
you shook your head pleading for them to spare you. “please please please don’t. don’t kill me, please. what do you want i’ll give you anything.”
you curled up, knees to your chest hiding afraid of what they would do to you.
silence on their end.
you didn’t want to look up afraid that would be the last thing you’d do.
“you’ll give us anything?” a deep voice said.
you lifted your head and made eye contact with a brunette with piercing blue eyes.
you were stunned not only because he was attractive but you’d think whatever did this wasn’t human.
“how much money i’ll…i’ll find a way. please just don’t kill me.” you cried.
the other took his mask off as well revealing blonde hair with the same piercing blue eyes.
“oh baby, we won’t kill you.” he stepped forward offering his hand.
the last thing you’d do was grab the hands of a killer.
“take my hand.” he said.
you shook your head starting to cry even more.
“i wasn't asking. wanna live or do you wanna die?” he demanded.
your lips were quivering as tears rushed down your cheeks.
reluctantly, you took his hand. he helped you up and led you to the couch to sit down.
“what’s your name pretty girl?” the brunette asked.
this was cruel. this was sick. they were asking you questions about yourself while your friends were lying around the room dead.
“what the fuck do you want from me?!” you screamed in their face.
the brunette was quick to grab you by your neck. “watch your tone, baby.”
you froze in fear silently gasping for air. not because he was choking you. no…he wasn’t even applying pressure it was because you were choking on your own sobs.
“what we want is to show you how sorry we are for killing your little friend group.” the blonde said placing his hand on your thigh. when you look down you notice splattered and dried blood on it.
“you’re fucking crazy. you’re crazy.” you repeated. “you need help.”
“then can you help us?” the brunette smiled. he treaded his knife down your other thigh.
you shook your head shutting your eyes quietly trying to control your cries.
“come on if you’re a good girl i promise we’ll make it worthwhile.” he winked kneeling down and nudging your right leg causing it to open up with the knife we was holding.
your heart raced faster and faster thinking about what he could mean by that.
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milksnake-tea · 1 year
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The Stellaron Hunters were a group renowned and hated across the galaxies, both feared and respected by the factions. But under those skillful manipulations and operations, was an organization as put together as a monkey circus. You should know this best, as a member of this menagerie.
stellaron hunter!reader (no specific pairings)
contains: cursing, possibly ooc, written before version 1.2, just a bunch of silly shenanigans, unedited, can be read as romantic and platonic !!
word count: 3.7k
a/n: i had to rewrite this like... 4 times bc tumblr kept deleting it :// anyways night dancer got me through this piece so :D u can tell i have a blade preference but listen he's hot
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Before we get on with the sillies, let's lay down some groundwork.
Every Stellaron Hunter has a specific role in mind. Blade is the feral dog that you throw at people, Kafka pisses people off (and shoots ig), and Silver Wolf gets past all defenses.
You're the expert on espionage and disguise. With the power of masks, voice changers, and makeup, you can become basically anyone if you put your mind to it. Even people with completely different builds than you, you could pull off - as long as the holographs don't start glitching out.
You're often paired with Silver Wolf in order to infiltrate various bases. Silver Wolf can transcend any physical barriers, while you sweet talk your way into the inner circles of any leaders. Sometimes, you implant ideas into people's heads in order to guide them towards a certain path, sometimes you just do it for the fun of it.
Your favorite victim so far has been the Express. Ever since the Trailblazer joined, you've entertained yourself by posing as them or other members of the Express (the only ones you can't figure out are Welt Yang and the conductor, Pom-Pom).
And it was surprising, how easily you could trick March 7th and Dan Heng. You had no idea where the original Trailblazer was (probably up some poor soul's dumpster), but frankly, you didn't care.
You somehow managed to trick the two for the better half of a day. It wasn't until you didn't jump at the sight of the first trashcan on the Xianzhou Luofu that the duo realized that something was off.
"Who- Who are you?!"
March stepped back, Dan Heng already drawing his spear. But you weren't going to give in so easily. No, you wanted to see just how far you could take this.
"Guys?" You feigned hurt and confusion as you faced the two. "What're you..."
"Don't play dumb," Dan Heng cut you off, thrusting his spear under your chin. "You're not them. The real Trailblazer would've started ransacking that trashcan by now."
What kind of freak-
"C'mon guys, I have taste," you sighed, crossing your arms. "The trashcans here don't compare to the ones at Belobog. They're not as shiny."
"Trailblazer said that appearance doesn't matter when it comes to trash!" March shot back, her bow appearing in her hands. "Enough games, who are you really?"
You paused for a moment, contemplating your options. You could try to bullshit your way out of this, but you sincerely doubted you would be able to. What kind of freak personality did Silver Wolf program into the vessel, anyways?
You sighed, making the two tense up. Your face, still that of the Trailblazer's, twisted into a condescending sneer, before you doubled over in laughter.
"Ah... Damnit, and here I thought I was doing well!" You stretched your arms, March backing away from you. "Well, that just goes to show, I still have much to improve."
With a snap of your fingers, your disguise melted away, revealing your true appearnce.
"You're-!" March gasped. "You're one of the Stellaron Hunters!"
"Am I really that famous?" you pondered, leaning back on the railing. "And here I thought Kafka or Silver Wolf were more popular."
"What're you trying to pull," Dan Heng growled, "pretending to be the Trailblazer? What did you do to them?"
"Oh, nothing," you replied simply, popping your bone. "I just sent them a coupon for that restaurant down the street. So don't worry yourselves, I'm just here to have a little bit of fun."
Before the two could comprehend the stupidity of their companion, you jumped onto the railing, balancing on your toes.
"Well, it's been fun, Nameless." You waved cheerfully, taking a step back into the open air. "Let's meet again sometime soon, yeah?"
"Wait!" They rushed to the railing, adamant on catching you - but you had already vanished.
The world might see you as a complete weirdo, but honestly, you aren't even the worst of the Stellaron Hunters. In your humble opinion, you're the lesser evil compared to your comrades.
If you're going to survive in this job, you have to get used to Kafka bullying you. Don't worry, she does it to everyone, it's not just you. But signing up to become a Stellaron Hunter also means you sign up to a life of relentless teasing.
You roll your eyes at the feeling of a familiar gun barrel against your head. Kafka holds it against your temple firmly, but you know her finger isn’t anywhere near the trigger. It’s not like you’re Blade, who somehow survived getting thrown off a four-story building.
“Now who do we have here?” Kafka muses lazily. “A potential spy from the IPC? Or perhaps, one of the Xianzhou Cloud Knights?”
“Don’t fuck with me, Kafka,” you turn around, unimpressed. With one move, you pulled off your mask, glaring at her pointedly as you grab a bottle of water. “I know that thing isn’t loaded.”
“Oh, it’s you, [Name],” Your senior gasps mockingly, removing the gun. “When did you come in? I could’ve sworn an intruder-”
You throw the bottle at her. She dodges because of course she does.
And Kafka isn't even the least of your worries. At least she has a sense of financial responsibility.
There's no doubt that Silver Wolf is integral to the workings of the Stellaron Hunters, especially with her hacking abilities. She's certainly skilled with her work, and she has saved your ass many times before.
But sometimes, you have to play babysitter to her, because homegirl may or may not have a gambling addiction, especially when it comes to whatever those gacha games of hers. Whenever she visits the city's nearby arcade or casino, either you or Kafka have to be around so that she doesn't end up gambling all of your funds away. You would get Blade to do it, except he couldn't care less about your financial problems.
“Let me go! I’ve almost got it, I know I do!”
Silver Wolf kicked at your shoulders wildly as you hoisted her up. You paid her no mind as you left the arcade, Blade walking in tow. You kept a firm grip on his sleeve, making sure he didn’t run off and start any trouble. You saw the look he gave the claw machine. If you hadn’t dragged Silver Wolf away, he would’ve likely broken the thing out of impatience.
“I was so close!” The girl on your shoulder whined, like a kid who didn’t get their favorite toy.
“You already spent 500k on it,” you replied bluntly. “It’s a scam, don’t you know?”
“So what?” Silver Wolf retorted. “I would’ve won!”
“Yeah,” you shifted her up, your shoulder getting sore. You weren’t really built for hard labor. “After you spent another hundred thousand credits, sure.”
“I wasn’t!” She’d stopped fighting you, now hanging limply so that her entire weight pressed down on you. “I could’ve hacked it-”
“Really? You’d put that much effort into a claw machine?” Before Silver Wolf could argue, your phone dinged, as did Blade’s and Silver Wolf’s - successfully interrupting your bickering. You glanced at Blade as he checked his phone for the three of you.
“It’s Kafka,” he reported, typing out a quick response. “She says it’s time to go back.”
“Tell her we’ll be there in 10 minutes, if Silver stops her tantrum,” you said, looking pointedly at Silver Wolf. The hacker kicked you in response. 
“I am not throwing a tantrum,” she huffed. You rolled your eyes.
“Sure, whatever you say.”
Speaking of which, Blade is like your guard dog. A very intimidating guard dog. With a sword. And attitude issues.
Come to think of it, he's more like a cat if anything.
When he's not being launched at the faces of various enemies, Blade often finds himself acting as your shadow. He just follows you around, doesn't say anything, and the second he smells a whiff of a threat, the sword comes out and you have to talk him down before someone calls the cops.
It seems that you’re the only one unaffected by the suffocating tension clogging up the clothing store. There’s an obvious circle of space surrounding you and Blade as you browse through various suits, intent on finding one that would fit the man standing behind you. Elio’s next script required that Blade and Kafka go to a dinner party, and knowing Blade, the man didn’t have any clothes other than the ones you and the other Hunters got for him.
It wasn’t that Blade didn’t have an eye for fashion, rather, he simply didn’t care much for it. Shopping wasn’t exactly his cup of tea either. His hands itched for action, but he did have to admit that this was better than sulking around in his room all day.
You pulled out another suit that had caught your eye, a simple black one with a bronze lapel. It would fit the vest you’d already picked out for him. Holding it out in front of Blade, you squint as you try to picture what it’d look like on him.
Decent enough. You hummed in satisfaction, turning the suit around to show it to him. “What do you think?”
Blade shrugs, only giving the suit a brief glance. “It’s fine.”
You sigh, giving him a look. “Do you like it?”
“It isn’t the worst thing you’ve put me in,” he says nonchalantly. You huff, lightly hitting his chest. For a second, a glimmer of a smile flickers onto his face at your action.
“Watch your attitude,” you reprimand playfully. “Otherwise I’m giving you the shittiest suit I can find in here.”
“You wouldn’t,” Blade says easily as the two of you walk toward the cash registers. “Your heart couldn’t bear to do that to a face like mine.”
“Cheeky brat.”
You remember the day Blade was first brought to the base, picked up by Kafka and Elio like a stray cat. He had a strange resemblance to that of a drowned rat, being absolutely sopping wet.
Your seniors just kinda dropped him off into your room with the only instructions being "Make him look presentable", which didn't give you a lot to work with. You weren't sure how you were going to fix him, but after a lot of bathing, hair drying, and brushing, you soon discovered that the drowned rat had a pretty face.
So basically, you're the only reason why he looks remotely presentable.
And quite frankly, Blade does not make it easier on you. He doesn't care about how he looks, only how his enemies look - and that's dead and unmoving. Sir somehow manages to fuck up his fit every time he goes on mission, coming back with his very expensive clothes, mind you, covered in blood, and his hair messed up.
The audacity of him, to just walk into your room unannounced, clothes completely torn and hair a mess, and plop himself down on your perfectly clean chair and wait for you to fix him up. Granted, you'll do it (you wouldn't allow any of your comrades to leave without a decent haircut), but that doesn't mean you won't rattle his ear off with a scolding.
“Just what did you do to it this time?”
You grumbled as you cut away at Blade’s hair, the man in question sitting in your salon chair and scrolling through his phone. He had just come back from a mission, and this time he somehow managed to cut off the bottom half of his long locks, resulting in a horrendously uneven cut.
“You’re literally so photogenic and then you go and do this?” you huffed, blowing his hair into his face with a blowdryer.
“You can fix it, can’t you?” Blade didn’t even look up from his screen as he texted Silver Wolf, likely using this as an excuse to escape her pleas to game with her.
You scowl, venting your anger as you brushed his hair, cutting a few extra strands. “Just because I can, doesn’t mean I always have the time to do so! Now sit still.”
Oh, and another thing? There's no such thing as privacy when you're with the Stellaron Hunters.
You first learned this when you came back from a particularly grueling mission, early on in your career with the Hunters. You were covered in blood that wasn't (or was it?) yours, drenched from the rain and safe to say, not in the greatest of moods. All you wanted was to take a shower, and preferably, take an undisturbed nap on your warm bed.
Unfortunately, Kafka had other plans.
You opened the door to find her lounging on YOUR bed, IN THE DARK, ruffling through your makeup collection like it was normal. She didn't even seem bothered when you flicked on the light, didn't even acknowledge you until you threw a knife at her.
And what did she say when you made it abundantly clear that she shouldn't be in here? Nothing. She just scrunched up her nose and told you to take a shower.
And that is how you learned that having your own room is utterly useless because every single Hunter could pick a lock. You could try to use an electric one. Silver Wolf sure did. And to her credit, it worked, until a certain dog named Blade came around and just kicked the door down.
Out of all the Stellaron Hunters to creep around in your room, Sam was by far the worse. You could handle Kafka going through your makeup, or Blade judging your taste in books. You can deal with Elio having his fucking shoes on your bed because he's your boss and honestly what are you going to do against an actual seer? Exactly. Nothing. At least his shoes are usually clean.
But Sam? He doesn't visit so that he can go through your things, or just hang around. No. He comes around with the pure intention of scaring the shit out of you.
He just waits?? Outside your door?? In the dark?? Until you open it and he jumps you. It usually ends with someone getting punched, but honestly, it's nothing either of you couldn't handle.
Silver Wolf likes to pretend that she isn't as bad as the other because in her words, she "gives you a warning". Said warning is "You better be decent" before she barges in and starts rambling about the new game she bought.
One time you were not decent and someone had to pay the price. That someone was not you.
There is one good thing that comes out of all this invasion of privacy. Because whatever the others do to you, you get to do right back to them. 
“What does this button do?”
“Don’t touch that.” Kafka playfully whined as Silver Wolf snatched away the console in her hands. The hacker was less than pleased, having returned to her room only to discover that she’d been chosen as the Hunters’ victim for today.
You lean against Kafka’s shoulder, pouting alongside her at your latest toy being confiscated. “C’mon Silver, let us have some fun at least.”
“After you two invaded my room? Not a chance,” she replied, tossing the console to somewhere you and Kafka couldn’t reach. Kafka merely hummed at the loss, leaning back onto Silver Wolf’s messy bed.
“You know, you should really clean up around here,” she commented. “They nearly killed themselves tripping over a stack of DVDs.”
“Agreed, although I wouldn’t mention that last part,” you said, picking up another one of Silver Wolf’s consoles. This one had a fighting game on it. Silver Wolf rolled her eyes as you quickly busied yourself with fighting the boss she had left off on.
“If you don’t want to get hurt, then don’t come in,” she said, plopping down on the bed next to you. Kafka smiled.
“Sure, but where’s the fun in that?” she asked, watching you tap away at the screen. “It was just a suggestion, no need to get all worked up.”
“I’m not, but okay.” Silver Wolf hissed as your character took damage. “If you get my character killed-”
“I won’t,” you retorted, swiftly defeating the boss. You tossed Silver Wolf the console. “See?”
“You’re half dead,” Silver Wolf deadpanned.
“Doesn't matter. I still won.”
Your group chat is an absolute mess, with no one understanding Silver Wolf's slang or dialect. Blade's outdated brain short-circuited the first time he touched a phone, while Kafka just silently accepted her fate. You often have to translate because Silver Wolf sure wasn't going to.
Gambling Addict: Ykw blade
Gambling Addict: This is why u pull no bitches
Gambling Addict: Bc if [name] didnt yassify u 
Gambling Addict: U would have zero rizz
Gambling Addict: Negative rizz actually
You: I see no lie here
Gambling Addict: So stfu about my social life at least i can pull bitches
DONT PICK UP: [Name], translate
Gambling Addict: [Name] i have ur closet at gunpoint 
You: She means Blade can't attract maidens bc he has as much charisma as a blobfish
You: Also stfu silver I know you can't shoot for shit
Gambling Addict: [NAME]
Gambling Addict: Actually no, ur right
DONT PICK UP: Oh, I see
You: I'm always right 💅✨
DONT PICK UP: That does sound like Bladie
Gambling Addict: Listen
Gambling Addict: All i know is that blades been real quiet since i said that
Blade: Silver Wolf.
Gambling Addict: And so he speaks!
Blade: Count your days.
You like to fuck with the others by pretending to be them. Blade nearly murdered you because one time you got bored, and decided that slandering his nonexistent image would be ample entertainment.
In minutes, you turned yourself into Blade's lookalike, and spent the afternoon prancing around in a maid dress because what else were you going to use it for? Unfortunately, that also put you as a target for Blade's wrath. Fortunately, you have a lot of experience escaping people you pissed off.
Silver Wolf still has the pictures. Kafka laughed her ass off until you did the exact same thing to her. And that's when she started shooting.
"I can't believe you did this," you sniffed dramatically, fake tears falling from your face. In your hands was what used to be your pride and joy, the beautiful maid dress that you'd spent millions on (lie).
What used to be a gorgeous garment with frills and lace, was now in tatters from Kafka's bullets and Blade's sword. The two aforementioned culprits weren't the slightest bit guilty as they watched you lament over your clothes.
"You should've thought of that before you started walking around like that," Kafka blew at her smoking gun. Blade nodded firmly in agreement, holding his sword close to his chest.
"It was cute!" you huffed, shaking your head. You weren't actually mad at them. You could always buy another dress to mess with them. Besides, you already got what you wanted.
Your gaze met with Silver Wolf's, who grinned back, holding her phone in between her fingers.
None of the Stellaron Hunters know basic first aid, and that includes you. Most of you just slap on a few bandages, some weird smelling ointment, and call it a day. Silver Wolf doesn't even do that, she just downs three bowls of rice and walks off the broken arm like a Sunday hangover.
But one day, just as your luck would have it, you came back to base with an injury that you couldn't just bandage away. No one knew what to do, and you were bleeding out fast. So what did this hardened group of criminals do?
They googled it. They fucking googled it.
Silver Wolf deadass just searched up how to fix you while you were bleeding out next to her. Kafka, to her credit, did hold your hand to try and comfort you (albeit mockingly), and Blade just stood back and watched. If Elio foresaw a way to help you, well, he didn't say anything.
But it all turned out all right in the end. Eventually, Silver Wolf gave up and simply shoved a bowl of her fried rice in front of you. You still don't know how or why, but it somehow worked. It shouldn't have, but it did.
The scene in front of you reminded you of a bunch of school children watching a chemistry experiment for the first time. The Stellaron Hunters crowded around you, eyes trained onto your closing wound with unnerving fascination. Even Blade, who rarely had any emotion at all, was watching you with the faintest glimmer of awe.
"What the hell did you put in that thing?" you turned in disbelief to Silver Wolf, the only unphased person in the room. The hacker was already somewhere else, her thumbs tapping rapidly as she played another one of her rhythm games.
"Trash."
"WHAT." You almost throttled her before she quickly teleported a safe distance away, clutching her phone to her chest.
"Kidding, kidding, no need to get all worked up!" She sighed, clearing a level without looking.
"Just some solid water and protein rice, that's all."
"You mean ice?" You swatted at Kafka, who was poking at where your wound used to be.
"No."
Safe to say, the Stellaron Hunters are an... interesting bunch, to put it lightly. They're all assholes, including you, and seem to thrive over inconveniencing each other. The only time you all can somewhat work together is when you're acting out one of Elio's scripts.
But you'd be lying if you said you hated working at this job. You live for the thrill of things, and being a Hunter was the most fun you've had in a long, long time, even if your coworkers occasionally annoyed you to death.
None of you would ever say it aloud, but you wouldn't trade each other for anything in the world.
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zafulz · 6 days
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Regarding SotE's ending.
Spoilers ahead, rant.
I'm a dissappointed on the fandom always wanting to take sides for the most nuanced narratives ever written in games, sometimes it feels like we play different games at all. They want to excuse other demigods and put the blame on the ones who wanted to changed the status quo, when we all should realize how the Greater Will and the Outer Gods had influence and have been the ones to actually be playing chess with their tragic fates. Radahn and Morgott wanted to keep and perpetuate Marika's / Golden Order rule, Miquella, Ranni and Rykard wanted to get rid of all the Gods (using the Stars/Moon, destroying gods or becoming God themselves), and Mogh, Malenia and Godwyn had their fates taken by Outer Gods/Plots. They were all played and incited by the horrors of Marika, under the Greater Will. Remember that Marika shattered the Elden Ring to rebel against the Greater Will due to all the grief and most recently Godwyn's death, so we can guess she realized too late.
Then, it surprises me how easy we are to label Miquella as a villain without taking all that into the equation. The game changers, following up Ranni's statements, were only Miquella, Malenia (as she was almost ready to become a goddess even before Miquella), and her. Ranni, probably the one who knew all of Marika's record and was already done with the situation of her family and the Lands Between, started this first with killing Godwyn. Miquella just could not keep at delaying the facts during the time he tried to revive his brother and revert his twin curse, leading to despising the Greater Will and deciding to ascend having learned the horrors of the Lands of Shadow and the current state of the Lands Between. The actions taken by them can't be honestly judged at certain human moral standpoint, since we are talking of literal demigods, SOME of them supporting the current status quote where Omens, Demi Humans, Albinaurics, Giants where OBLITERATED to keep the Golden Order's rule. The DLC covers the process in which Miquella decided to walk the same path as Marika, probably for similar "better world" goals, but Marika just followed the Greater Will. Miquella decided to become a god and strip himself from all essence, without any guidance. Is not a mending rune to keep the Elden Ring somehow. The story trailer show us how Marika called the Greater Will, now dried up after thousands of sacrifices, Miquella becomes a God by stripping himself of what attaches him to the world (reminds me of Tales of Symphonia, where Colette is loosing all senses to become an angel or the Avatar State) St. Trina asks us to kill him, because she understood this path will only create another Greater Will-like God, no feelings, just cold stare and control, a caged god.
Now, somethings that aren't clear is how the affection compelling powers works. Miquella shattered his own rune knowing this would remove his "charm" from others. Why he did that? What's the vow Radahn and Miquella made? The cutscene crystal clear shows Miquella is afraid of becoming a god, but taking that decision on this vow.
Probably a fight with Malenia before becoming Lord. Whispered this part on his ear like normal.
A LOT of information is missing, but the point was that there are no " villains" in this game, BUT THE GODS. It is a Man vs God narrative that is very nuanced. Thanks for your time.
Ps. Did you notice this?
Grace and the Gods influence reflect in the eyes. Messmer is final proof of it when he breaks his Grace and Serpent appears isntead, or Miquella showing up with eyes shut, becoming a God himself. Ranni Melina I wish we could have more dialog options and reactions from what we did in this DLC :')
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itsclydebitches · 7 months
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Though I adore the dynamic myself, it struck me as odd a few months back that fans were taking a "Monster loved for the first time" approach to Astarion. Part of the allure of a vampire (for me anyway) is the act of transformation; the horror and tragedy of having lost who you were before—including all those everyday, human experiences. There were debates about precisely how old Astarion was when he died and at the same time fans were screaming over him having his first hug, his first real romance, this is the first time someone has helped him without ulterior motives, etc. and I'm going, "How is that possible?" This is an elf who lived a life before being turned, even if it was short compared to what his race would normally experience. Astarion had a family. He had a job! Yet the fandom (and to an extent the game as well) treats Astarion as more of a Phantom-esque character: deemed monstrous from birth and blindsided by the simplest acts of love because he was denied them from the get-go.
Of course, it's easy enough to read everything through the lens of slavery and torture. Sure, Astarion had all this at one point but it's been so long and his life as a vampire has been so unimaginably torturous that it's eclipsed those earlier experiences. I get that... but time as the answer still didn't fully convince me.
Not until I started romancing him and hit this line:
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"I... I don't know. I can't remember."
This is in response to asking Astarion what color his eyes were before they turned red. Can we just sit with that for a moment? He doesn't remember the color of his eyes. This line was a game changer for me because I can't even CONCEPTUALIZE that. Mirrors appear to be pretty common in Faerûn—it's not like this is a setting devoid of all modern inventions and Astarion, as a member of the upper class, absolutely would have had access to various ornate mirrors like the one he starts this scene with—so what does it take to make you completely forget such an ingrained bit of knowledge about yourself? 200 years as a dehumanized slave, obviously. Still, my mind continues to trip over the idea. I have blue eyes. That's a fact I've known since I had any real sense of self. If my eyes were to suddenly change tomorrow I can't imagine forgetting that they were originally blue. Even if I'd put it from my mind for an extended period of time I'd expect the very pointed question, "What color were they before?" would fire some old synapses and drag the information back. Obviously none of us have any idea what 200 years would do to a human brain (or, you know, an elf's) but it still feels firmly in the real of impossibility that I could ever completely forget something like that.
Yet Astarion has and this line more than anything else has sold me on his Baby Monster Loved For The First Time characterization, both in-game and in the fandom. He acts like he's never been hugged before? Of course he does! The guy can't remember his eye color and you think he's going to recall any probably-treated-as-casual-and-thus-didn't-solidify-as-significant-memories hugs while alive? When was the last time you were hugged? I'm not sure. I know I HAVE hugged recently but was the last one with family over Thanksgiving? Did I give my friend a brief side-hug before we parted? I'm lucky in that hugs are such a normalized part of my life that I don't give them much thought... which means that if you were to suddenly enslave me and keep me isolated for 200 years, yeah, I'd probably forget what they feel like too. Or that I ever had any at all.
(Self-hatred is going to play hell with memory too. Once you feel like you don't deserve something and it's continually denied to you it's easier to convince yourself you never had it to begin with.)
So yeah, Astarion acts like someone who was always the monster because he has, on a literal canonical level, forgotten what it was like to be anything else. Which just sets his relationship with Tav into such angsty, terrifying focus. Here's someone who has lost his previous identity. He (rightfully) despises the identity Cazador forced on him. Even if he didn't, Astarion is now miles away, the tattered remains of his self threatened by ceremorphosis. He stares into a mirror knowing he'll never see anything, but doing it anyway because he needs to figure out who he is—and that's precisely where most of us would start. What do I look like? What do others see when they see me? Is that the person I want to be?
Then Tav offers to be his mirror, just like they offered to sketch out the poem on his back. How exquisitely horrible for Astarion. He's being given precisely what he wants but he's in NO position to take it. All his sense of self placed in the hands of another? Asking, "Who am I?" and hearing, "I'll tell you. I'll be the keeper of that knowledge"? That's a far more intimate, potentially destructive power than anything else Astarion is looking to get his hands on AND he's trying to manipulate YOU at this point in the story! It just makes me crazy because Astarion is desperate to figure out who he is, but circumstances have ensured that, at this point in time, he needs to put his trust in someone else to begin answering that question... and the one thing he does know about himself is that he's a manipulative, mistrustful rogue who's only out to keep himself safe. Allowing someone else to take the reins with his identity (again) is probably the least safe thing he could possibly think of.
It's this messy tragic loop that yes, Astarion is working to break by the end of the game (depending on your choices) but in Act 1? Goddamn. No wonder he's trying desperately to maintain control of this relationship. No wonder—despite his best efforts—he's still undone by the simplest acts of kindness.
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ashprompts · 2 months
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𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒
a collection of sentence starters from dropout tv's game changer. feel free to alter pronouns/text as you see fit
“I’ve been here THE WHOLE TIME”
“It’s hard to hold this much anger in my body.” 
“If you never hear from me again, you know what to do!.”
“If they don’t find me it’s because I was chopped up and fed to the pigs!”
“I SOLVED YOUR LABYRINTH, PUZZLEMASTER. THE MINOTAUR’S ESCAPED, AND YOU’RE GONNA GET THE HORNS, BUDDY”
“I. CANNOT. WIN!!!!”
“A lot of people have been saying that ___ is a singularly evil, wildly incompetent, befuddled nepo baby silver spoon motherfucker. This is what people are saying.” 
“If you can do ONE swing on the swing I will let you play with all the math puzzles that you want” 
“You’re not getting a FUCKING JOKE OUT OF ME until you let me out of this room! You want bits?! You let me out of this room for bits, motherfucker!”
“Are we gonna die before we get outta here?” 
“I’m gonna lose so fucking hard it’s gonna blow your fucking mind”
“But in this sick rodeo, this bizarre fucked up clown festival, we’re here celebrating what I can only describe as the sickness at the core of America.” 
“Give me the assignment and I don’t miss. I’m gonna DIE before this is over.”
“Your tower’s gonna fall. Laugh it up now.” 
“A river of sweat is running down my back right now.”
“I do hate zombies and I will have nightmares about this tonight. But in this moment I just feel like I’m surrounded by friends.” 
“We don’t give a cum.”
“If you’re in a hole, DYING. I WON’T BE THERE.”
“I showed them my feet, [name]! I SHOWED THEM MY FEET FOR NOTHING?”
“Stop shaking your cock in the middle of a fucking huddle, dude!”
“I’d fuck that pie.”
“If you’re like me, you eat a lot of ass.”
“I hate capitalism but I also hate losing.”
“I get my tongue so far up somebody it’s like I’m tasting their tonsils. I get so deep in there I’m gonna burn myself with stomach acid.”
“I like perching like a little bisexual gargoyle”
“If you were performing on a subway I would take money away from you.”
“I’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN TO PULL THE THREAD ON THIS SWEATER.”
“Icarus flying too close to the sun, but it seems Daedalus our little mastercrafter over here had some WAX WINGS OF HIS OWN, didn’t he? Wanted to see his son fall, faaaalll from the sky, OH HOW CLOSE TO THE SUN HE FLEW”
“Hey can I get an ah? … Don’t scream at me.” 
“You kinda have the vibe that your kids call you by your first name.”
“The day I DON’T curse when a body falls from the sky, call somebody.”
“Could I place an order? I’m hungie. What do you think would be the best pizza to order if I’m quite hungie? Um, I like cheese, what is your largest pizza? Yeah let’s get an extra large because I’m hungie. I’m hungie, I’m hungie, I’m hungie.” 
“WE ARE NOT ANIMALS!!!”
“So long as I am on this stage and drawing breath, you can good and goddamn believe I’ll be trying my best in every challenge.”
“Was it bad that we just started smashing shit?” 
“You didn't count on INGENUITY did you motherfucker?!”
“FIGHT THE BOURGEOISIE. I WILL VENMO YOU $20.” 
“This could be hell. This is very Satre-esque.”
“YOU ARE NOT GOD. THE MACHINE IS GOD.”
“Can you tell us why you’d do this to us?”
“I won’t be made a fool”
“I do feel like I’m in a nightmare”
“I’m the only one OUT of the loop it seems”
“Everybody do the wenis! The wenis is a dance! Everybody is a genius! Who knows it in advance!” 
"DANCE IS A SIN!"
"You think I'm gonna fucking roll over?!"
"It'll be a COLD DAY IN HELL when I go out like a fucking chump!"
"I don't care about winning, I just don't wanna lose"
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clarionglass · 2 months
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yeah, we all knew this one was coming. 5395 words, if you're wondering exactly how bad the brain rot has set in ^^;
----- deja vu (sam reich!master cinematic universe, part 2)
Right from the beginning of Game Changer, Sam had had a small monitor in his dressing room where he could watch the show being recorded. He'd always appreciated it being there, but never quite understood the point of having it, if he was going to be on stage hosting the shows himself. 
When his doppelganger was hosting, though, being able to watch the show while hidden away was absolutely ideal. 
Since Escape the Greenroom, the pair had been less cautious about being seen in the building together. It was always more enjoyable to debrief immediately after a show, and besides, they had their secret weapon. The magic technology that kept anyone from thinking too hard about two Sams in the one place had turned out to be nothing more than a small lump of circuitry attached to a key on a loop of string, and whichever Sam wasn't on set at the time held onto it and watched the session from the dressing room. It was an extra precaution—hell, if everyone knew Sam was in the middle of a recording, why would they be going into his dressing room—but it was handy to have nonetheless. 
It didn't work if you knew what you were looking for, though, so when the door creaked open and his doppelganger walked in, pure glee painted across his face from ear to ear, he turned his megawatt smile on Sam straight away. 
Sam raised his eyebrows. “Good record, was it?”
“Oh, was it ever.”
“Well, great!” Sam replied. “You were pretty keen for this one, glad it lived up to expectations.”
As his double nodded with satisfaction, Sam's eyes flicked back to the monitor, now showing a view of backstage, and Trapp, Ify and Siobhan talking quietly to each other. 
Something felt off. They didn't seem distressed or anything bad, bad, but the energy between the three contestants was weirdly muted. As it was for everyone, actually. Josh, Zac, Brian—the general vibe backstage was sitting noticeably lower than usual, particularly with such big personalities in the room. 
“How'd the cast take it, though?” he asked. “They all look exhausted, was everything alright?”
His doppelganger flapped a hand dismissively. “Oh, they're fine. It was just a long record.”
“No longer than usual,” Sam said, with a brief glance down at his watch and a frown. “We had seven loops planned, right? And you definitely didn't get through all of them, you only did, what—”
“Five, yeah,” his double agreed, speaking with him. “For the episode, we ended up recording five.”
There was an odd tone in his voice as he said it, an emphasis on the specifics that was just a little too weighted. Sam grimaced. 
“I'm sensing there's a but coming.”
“Yeah,” his doppelganger admitted slowly, then grinned, a bright, twinkling expression of pure mischief. “We actually ran a lot more loops than that.”
“Wait,” Sam said, “wait. No, you didn't, I was watching the entire thing.”
“Come on,” his doppelganger shot back, a bite of impatience bleeding into his excitement. “You really think I'd fight to do the fake time loop episode and not throw in a real time loop or five?”
“Oh my god.” It was all Sam could say, and he really couldn't tell if he was impressed, or dumbfounded, or just really fucking worried. “Oh, my god. What did you do?”
The giddy delight shining in his double's eyes as his smile broadened even further, brilliant and infectious and only slightly predatory, did nothing to calm Sam's nerves. 
---
The first loop went well enough, and confusingly enough. Weird trivia, questions that clearly had an answer, but no way of working out what that answer was, cameos that didn’t seem to relate to anything—it was strange, but you knew that was what you were getting into when you signed up for Game Changer. Trapp, Ify and Siobhan knew that there was a solution to it, but they’d just have to work until they found it.
And then Sam pulled out that bizarre dance that he expected them all to join in on, and accidentally kicked Kevin’s camera out of his hands, and the three of them shuffled offstage for a two minute reset.
-
The second loop, the pieces were starting to fit into place. The trivia was a memory tester; the weird questions had answers that could only be worked out with knowledge gained in previous rounds; Zac’s—sorry, Grant’s—spaghetti was going to cause problems by way of Brian’s podium inspector; the list went on. 
This time, it was pretty clear that the kick wasn’t accidental. 
-
The third loop, everyone knew they were dealing with loops right from the start. 
-
“I think my watch battery is dead,” grumbled Ify on the t̷͖͗̅h̶̥̔͗i̴͉̞̊r̴̭͘d̵̢͔͌̈́ loop.
-
Loop aft̵̐͜e̷̘̓r̵̩͊ ḽ̵̞́o̷͉̬̼͈͘ö̸̖̠̭́̈̀p̶̡̣̖͂ ạ̸͌͘f̸̱̲͐͗t̶͈͐̇ẻ̶͇̮̄ř̷̤̗͝ ̷̹̌l̸͎͎̔̀̅̀̀̕ò̸̢̨̜͓̳̮̀̕o̶̮̕p̵̪̫̠̝̘̒͒͗̚ͅ, ad infinitum ad nauseam. 
-
A few loops in, Siobhan watched Brian get paler and paler as he examined the trio of podiums. And this time, he was actually taking the time to look at them properly, not just making an act of peering through that stupid little magnifying glass in order to justify a foregone conclusion. He was acting weird, even for him.
Still, he put a good face on it, declaring each one dirty in increasingly elaborate ways, just as he had every time before. Something had clearly rattled him, though, and it made her uneasy in turn.
“Sir? Excuse me, sir?” she said, just as she had the last few rounds, and smiled sweetly with a dollar bill folded in her palm. As Brian came over, she locked eyes with him, hoping the look was enough to convey her question.
“Camcorder, Jan ‘97,” he muttered as he took the money, and had given her the (bribed) point and hurried backstage before she could ask what he meant.
She knew the video he was referring to, it was one of his. Creepy, definitely, but very well-done, all about rewinding tape and rewriting time. And—yeah, man, duh. This was the time loop episode, apparently, so why state the obvious? And why so cryptically?
Unless… unless it was something to do with time loops that wasn’t to do with the format of the episode. 
How long had they been recording, anyway? All their phones were in the box backstage, Ify’s watch was dead, she wasn’t wearing one at all, and with her and Trapp on the outside podiums, there was no way she could ask him without making it look stunningly obvious. But it had been a while, for sure, and Sam wasn’t showing any of his usual signs of wanting to usher the recording session towards a natural conclusion.
If anything, he was looking wolfishly pleased with the way things were turning out. He'd even favoured Brian with a wider grin than usual, where Brian's own smile had been kind of watery. 
Another part of that video, Siobhan couldn't help but recall, was that sinister, looming silhouette.
-
Through more and more loops, and the brief interludes they were granted backstage, they’d worked out the rules, sort of. People weren’t affected by the loops resetting, they carried through pretty much as normal. Objects didn’t, though. Things on the set, like the ducks, the money in their envelopes, and the spaghetti stuck to their podiums, reset to the state they were at at the beginning of what they’d begun to call “Loop 3.0”. Things brought across the threshold of the set, like Zac/Grant’s plate of spaghetti, or Josh’s balloons, reset as soon as they crossed over that boundary.
Josh hadn’t had a good time when he realised that one. While the contestant cast and the cameo cast were kept separate backstage, the contestants had to assume that Brian would have told them everything he’d worked out. The next loop after Brian had given his hint to Siobhan, the contestants had to watch a very good character actor try to keep control of the creepy clown role while going through a moderate existential crisis. It was uncomfortable to watch, stuck at their podiums and unable to help. At least they could mutter a few words of encouragement each time they went up to pop a balloon, and the same with Zac and Brian each time they came by to mess up or inspect their podiums. 
It was good to have that connection, brief as it might have been. They might have been stuck, but at least they were in this fuckery together.
The crew, though, seemed to be immune from feeling the weirdness they were caught up in. Or—no. Not immune. Exempt. They weren’t trapped in the loop, they were part of it, moving along their set tracks like automata. It took the cast a while to work that one out, because Sam kept time perfectly, interacting with Ash when she brought out the contraption and the jar of beans as if they were having a normal, fluid conversation. But then Ify spotted that the camera operators were moving completely out of sync with the cast, and Trapp noticed that only Sam’s half of the interaction with Ash ever changed, and the illusion fell apart from there. The crew wouldn’t be a lifeline.
And speaking of Sam… Fuck, it was a hard one to swallow. He was their boss, their friend, and they’d all known him for years—hell, he’d come through for each of them multiple times. Until now, he had been pretty unequivocally a Good Guy. But it was becoming harder and harder to ignore the signs that Sam Reich was the puppeteer of this entire shitshow.
He was still pretending to not know what anyone meant when they expressed frustration with the loops, but the words were accompanied by a twinkle in his eye that said he knew exactly what was going on, and was staunchly refusing to help. He was delighting in their discomfort, even more so now the cast knew just how fucked they really were.
He looked like Sam, he sounded like Sam, every single mannerism was something that the cast knew intimately. But the personality driving his actions was wrong. Maybe this guy wasn’t Sam at all. Fuck, if they’d suddenly been catapulted into a reality where time loops were real, maybe so were evil clones, or brain-snatching parasites, or—no, the magician great-grandfather lore from Escape the Greenroom was still a stretch too far. But given the choice between believing that a weird sci-fi plotline was true, when another one was literally happening around them; or believing that their friend had secretly been some kind of torturer with access to sci-fi tech the entire time they’d known him—the decision wasn’t particularly hard. 
“We have to stop him from kicking the camera,” Trapp said quietly, as soon as they had all huddled backstage. “That’s what he’s going with as the trigger.”
“It could be another bluff,” Siobhan interjected glumly. “More fucking misdirection.”
Trapp shot her a look. “You got anything better you want to try?”
“I can get between him and Kevin if I’m quick,” Ify volunteered, the tallest among them by a good half a head, with a build to match.
“See what happens,” Trapp said. “But be careful, yeah? Don’t get yourself hurt.”
“So what’s the way to get out?” Siobhan asked, as Ify nodded his agreement. “There has to be something, I might start killing people if I let myself think this is actually completely random.” She paused for a moment, thinking. “Popping the right balloon? Or winning the video game?”
“Or unlocking that,” Ify suggested, nodding to the green chest that had been sitting on the table the entire time. 
“Yeah,” Siobhan and Trapp agreed together.
“Cool, so we try and—”
“Sorry, y’all, but I’m supposed to take your phones?” Kaylin interrupted, holding out the box as she always did. 
By virtue of podium order, Trapp, then Ify, then Siobhan noticed it as they walked on and gave their introductions. Something had changed.
The point totals on the podiums read 14, 9, 14. The points they’d ended with in Loop 3, not started with. They’d survived it. Time was moving.
-
“Sam, look over there!” Siobhan exclaimed as she entered, and dragged a couple of boxes onstage with her in no more subtle a way than she did the last time. 
Trapp got it, he really did. These loops had been… wearing, was probably the best word for it. “Sadistic” was a bit too harsh, particularly when nothing actually bad had been happening (and to be honest, he didn’t even want to risk thinking too badly of the person who seemed to be pulling all the strings in this scenario, in case he somehow noticed, and decided to turn the heat up), but… yeah. Wearing. So he understood why Siobhan might be trying to keep things the same. Making the group less fun for their host to play with.
The trivia rounds were chaos, as always, and passed in a jumble of noise that Trapp was only half focused on. A quiz show was still a quiz show, even if it had descended into some kind of weird time loop purgatory, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to be first on the buzzer regardless. Maybe the points were the way to get out of this whole shitshow, who could say. But when Ify and Siobhan started to have their exact same argument over the equation question, complete with Ify’s triumphant twerking, Trapp felt his stomach rise into his throat, as if once again, the ground had been cut out from under him.
“Yeah, Solzhenitsyn,” Siobhan nodded in response to a question he hadn’t asked, and his blood went cold. 
Sam, or possibly ‘Sam’, looked him dead in the eye and winked. 
“Next up, there’s a little game I have just for Mike Trapp,” he said with a smirk.
Tinny music started up, and the bright colours of that infuriating video game popped up on the screen, but Trapp didn't care. There wasn't any point in pretending now. 
“You fucker,” he said, walking close to eyeball the host. “You mother fucker.”
‘Sam’ just wheezed with laughter, exactly as the real Sam Reich would when a contestant insulted him out of annoyance at the game, and for the briefest of moments, Trapp had his doubts. Everything about this man said Sam Reich, every tiny detail. Had he really been hiding this all along?
“You were doing great playing as a team,” ‘Sam’ said once he'd regained his composure, looking at Trapp with wide-eyed sincerity. “But that's not really the point of the game, now, is it?”
No. Sam, actual Sam, wouldn't do this to his friends.
“What have you done to them?”
“To them? Nothing,” whoever the fuck this was said brightly. “To the studio, though… Well, it would take too long to explain, and you wouldn’t understand most of it anyway. Let’s just say I can run this whole place like a VCR, and the only two people who wouldn’t be caught up in it right now are you and me, bud.”
“That’s fucked up,” Trapp said, as Ash, deaf and blind to their conversation, came out with the giant jar of beans. “That’s just fucked. Let them go.”
“Aw, but they’re probably having a better time than you are right now,” ‘Sam’ said, mock-serious. “They think time’s finally moving ahead for them, remember? And anyway, do you really want to be arguing with little old me when you’re wasting your one chance to earn points without any competition? It is an individual game, after all.”
Trapp’s eyebrows shot high. “Are you saying only one of us gets out of this? You sick fuck.”
‘Sam’ just shrugged and smiled, looking meaningfully at the empty podium. “Do you want to risk it? The choice is yours, Trapp, but time's a-ticking.” His smile flashed. “Or maybe it isn't.”
-
“Next up, there’s a little game I have just for Ify Nwadiwe,” ‘Sam’ announced.
Yeah, no shit. Ify wasn’t an idiot, even if his point total was sitting below his fellow contestants’. He’d been checking his not-actually-dead watch at the start of every loop, so he knew right from the off that even though their host had been gracious and let them pass through one gauntlet, it sure didn’t mean that the time fuckery had finished. 
This run, though, was looking extra screwed up. Siobhan arguing loudly with him about things he didn’t even say this time was the final confirmation. He was alone in this loop, just him and the guy who was running the show.
He knew that ‘Sam’ knew that he knew that he was the only person who wasn’t stuck. So he waited, staring flatly at the person who had taken over the host’s podium, watching to see what move he would make.
‘Sam’ just smiled. “Left or right?”
Alright, so that’s how he was going to play it. Yeah, no, absolutely not. 
“Nah, nah, nah,” Ify said instead of engaging, because it didn’t really matter. In his peripheral vision, the game kept scrolling through. “Fuck that. What’s the win condition? What do we need to do to get out of here?”
“Play the game,” ‘Sam’ replied.
“Shut the fuck up, man.” Ify shook his head, and ‘Sam’ chuckled like he’d told a good joke. “We’ve already done that, and it’s got us exactly fuckin nowhere. You put us in this thing for a reason, so there’s gotta be something you want to see happen.”
‘Sam’ blinked at him innocently. “Who says this isn’t exactly it?”
Ify took a deep breath. “Let me get this straight. You’re saying we’re in here, doing the same shit over and over again, until you feel like you’ve had enough?”
“In a nutshell,” ‘Sam’ beamed, “yes.”
“Fuck you, man,” Ify said, shifting his weight to lean more heavily on the podium. “Fuck you.”
“Noted,” ‘Sam’ said brightly. “But I wouldn’t spend too long being mad at me, because—” he broke off, giving the front of Ify’s podium a significant look, “—you’ve got quite a lot of ground to make up, in… well. Who can say how much time?”
“Fuck you,” Ify repeated, and ‘Sam’ just laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
-
Ify was taking too long to name a goddamn Keanu Reeves film, again, and Siobhan had had just about enough. So when he stalled, and stalled, and still came up with the same title he’d answered in the last round, grinning like he’d just got one over on her, she could have screamed.
And then she remembered where she was, and who was asking the questions, and her heart sank. They weren’t done yet, apparently, and this time she was completely on her own.
She playacted the rest of the argument, that and the equation question, and hated the fact that even to her own ears, she was sounding more and more shrill as she shouted, because yeah, it’s panic-inducing to continue a screaming match with someone who doesn’t even register that you’re there. Every word was another reminder that she was trapped.
And then the melodrama stopped, and ‘Sam’ smiled at her. “Next up, there’s a little game I have just—”
“—for Siobhan Thompson?” she finished with him, voice dripping with sarcastic surprise, just like she had in Loop 3.0. 
“That’s right!” ‘Sam’ said happily. “Now. Left, or right?”
“No,” Siobhan said.
The man in front of her raised his eyebrows. “No?”
“You’re not Sam, which means I’m not fucking playing. So, who are you?”
“Sam Reich,” he answered quickly, easily, naturally.
Siobhan frowned. “No. Bullshit. Who are you?”
“Sam Reich,” he repeated, sounding somehow even more sincere, and genuinely confused that Siobhan would be asking. Fuck that. She wouldn’t take it. Couldn’t take it.
“No. Bullshit. Try again! Who the fuck are you?”
This time, instead of doubling down, he paused. “Do you want to know a secret?”
After a moment, she nodded warily. He beckoned her close, and slowly, cautiously, she left her podium, walking up to this devil in the shape of a game-show host. Close enough to see his eyes properly, and how truly, deeply old they were.
“Even if I told you,” he stage-whispered, those ancient eyes sparkling with terrible glee, “it wouldn’t make a single bit of difference.”
-
“Did you just—”
“Yeah. And—”
“Yeah.”
The three of them were once again huddled backstage, debriefing. 
“So, are we allowed to do this?” Trapp asked quietly. “Because he seemed pretty against the idea of us working together.”
“Didn't say anything to me,” Ify shrugged. “And I don't see another way of getting out of this if we don't share stuff. And even then—sorry, but I think we're here til he wants to let us go.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah,” Ify said. “Because we got the game, we got the key, we opened the chest, and here we all are again, so I dunno what we have to do. I asked him point blank about the win condition, and—”
“He made it sound like the points, to me,” Trapp interrupted.
Ify nodded. “Me too. But he also pretty much said we're here because he's having fun. I don't think the points are it.”
“So we can lose, but we can't win.” Siobhan's voice was dull.
“C'mon, Siobhan,” Trapp said encouragingly. “We'll get out of it. We've gotta have hope.”
Siobhan just looked flatly at him.
“Look, there are silver linings, okay?” Trapp insisted. “Not many, sure, but enough to look for. Like, because it means our actual friend isn't fucking with us—this guy isn't Sam, that's for sure.”
“I'm not…” Siobhan started, and winced. “This is going to sound bad. But I'm not even sure he's human.”
Ify exhaled deeply.
“Don't give me that,” Siobhan snapped reflexively, and Ify raised his hands placatingly.
“I'm not saying I don't agree,” he said. “It checks out. But it's heavy going, that's all.”
Siobhan nodded, looking calmer. “He still wouldn't say who he is, but… I saw him. The real him, up close. And yeah, he's the spitting image of Sam, but… fuck. People don't look like that behind the eyes.”
“Jesus,” Trapp breathed.
She just nodded wordlessly in reply, and despite knowing that it was costing them valuable discussing time, all three lapsed into silence. What could you say to that sort of revelation?
“The microphone,” Ify said abruptly, and Trapp and Siobhan’s eyes both swung to him. “I mean, I’ve still been thinking about win conditions. Or at least how he’s controlling the loop, and how we can use that.”
“He said he can run it like a VCR,” Trapp added. “But I’m not sure how, I assumed it was something in his podium—”
“But he keeps drawing attention to the microphone,” Ify continued. “Every single goddamn loop.”
“So we break it,” Siobhan said decisively. 
Trapp made a face. “Or steal it?”
“Whatever. Either way, we get it out of his control.”
“Sorry, y’all,” came a familiar voice, and they all had to stifle a groan. Planning time was over.  
The game started back up again, and—the point totals were as high as they remembered. The set was just as dirty. All promising signs. 
And then their host’s eyes turned to Siobhan after Ify’s successful run at the video game, and her stomach clenched. Even though the time loop continuing was the worst possible scenario, departures from his routine were never a positive thing.
He gave her an indulgent look. “But, Siobhan.” 
She was focused, she was prepared, she could handle whatever he threw at her. “Yes.”
“Because it is the last round of our game…”
Oh.
The buzzy little chiptune started up again, but to Siobhan, Trapp and Ify, it didn't mean a thing. The words “last round” rang in their ears sweeter than any music.
All of them knew it was probably false hope. Nonetheless, it was better than nothing. Something to cling to as they trod the motions of the remaining questions.
And then the cameo cast and all the crew came onstage when the wenis music played, and that certainly had a grand finale type feel to it; and Kevin didn’t get kicked in the face, no matter how much he was darting around in what had suddenly become a minefield of flailing limbs; and whatever it was that was wearing Sam Reich’s face led them all through more repetitions of the routine than usual, radiating manic joy the entire time.
“And stop!” he yelled as the music cut out, throwing his arms wide and looking around frantically as if the camera remaining intact had any fucking bearing on the time loop whatsoever. “Kevin, did we get that?”
The cameraman pulled open the now heavily duct-taped camera body, then looked up, scripted embarrassment mingling with scripted regret. “There’s no tape in the camera.”
And with that, their host turned away from him to look straight down the barrel of the main camera, favouring it with an open smile of pure, uncomplicated enjoyment; the sort of smile that invited you to share in it with him, no matter how strong the hatred that burned in your veins. “That brings us to the end of our show!” he announced happily. “Our winner tonight: Mike Trapp!”
“No-one’s a winner,” Trapp cut in, shaking his head. “No-one’s a winner here today.”
But even so, he was presented with a cool watch, and the confetti cannons went off, and they left the set for longer than two minutes and weren't called back at all, and finally, finally, they could let themselves believe it. 
The loop was broken. They were free. 
---
“What did I do?” Sam’s doppelganger repeated, pausing for a moment to think. “Oh, nothing awful.”
Normally, Sam would be content to let that slide. But just lately, he’d been getting a weird feeling from his doppelganger, and there was too much grey area between ‘something good’ and ‘nothing awful’ to be comfortable. “No, seriously.”
“We just ran the recording a few more times,” his double huffed, his smile fading—not quite impatient, but visibly put out, somehow, like he didn’t feel sufficiently appreciated. “Look at them, they’re fine.”
“I am looking at them,” Sam said. “And that’s why I’m asking. They’re my friends, I can tell when something isn’t right.”
His doppelganger hummed briefly, moving next to him to come and look at the monitor, and—just for a flash, less than a second—Sam felt the hair on the back of his neck rise when his double passed behind him. 
“Maybe you're right,” he said slowly, after watching the feed for a few seconds. “Okay, I'll fix it. I'll have a chat to them.”
Sam exhaled, relief washing over him. Of course there wasn't anything to be worried about.
“Thanks,” he said.
His double just smiled faintly and nodded, then left the room.
Sam turned back to the monitor, waiting for the moment a minute or so later when his double would appear in the frame. And sure enough, he did. The sound setup was only piped in from the stage, and even then it wasn’t the best quality, so Sam didn’t have a chance of hearing what was actually being said. But he watched as, without exception, every single cast member flinched when his doppelganger touched them lightly on the shoulder to get their attention. 
The conversations were quiet, with a gentle sort of intensity. His double seemed to be focused on making sure each person felt acknowledged—Sam couldn’t recall him breaking eye contact with anyone he was speaking to—and whatever he said, it seemed to work. One after another, he spoke to all the cast, contestants and cameos, leaving calm in his wake. And when he had talked to the last one, and everyone looked settled and genuinely at ease, he shot a look of pure satisfaction towards the backstage camera, and headed out of view.
“Thank you,” Sam said again when his doppelganger returned to their dressing room, and received a gracious nod in reply. “Just out of curiosity, though—what did you tell them? Because fuck, it worked like a charm!”
His double tilted his head, half-smiling. “Oh, you know. All the right things. That I was very sorry for anything that might have gone weird during the recording, that I wasn’t feeling like myself, that it’ll never happen again… Oh, yeah—and then I wiped their memories.”
Sam coughed. “You what?”
“Wiped their memories,” his double repeated matter-of-factly. “It was the simplest solution, really. Everyone stays in continuity, they’re blissfully free of any… more troubling memories, our cover isn’t blown—it’s perfect.”
“No, hang on, you can’t—”
“I can, and I did,” his doppelganger replied. “I fixed the problem—which you asked me to, I might add—and now everyone’s back to their regular happy selves. It’s a totally closed system. The only person who knows it happened at all is me. Oh, and you, of course.”
Sam frowned.
“Besides, this way, you don’t have to worry about having to work out the overtime for a time loop, because they’ve got no idea what the extra pay would even be for,” his double added breezily before he had a chance to say anything, then snapped serious. “And don’t look at me like that, Samuel Dalton Reich, because you were thinking about it. I know you.”
Unfortunately, he couldn’t deny it. The tiny part of his mind that was always in Dropout CEO mode had been grappling with the ethical and financial implications of a time loop and getting nowhere, and the relief of not having to deal with it was like a fist unclenching.
“See?” his doppelganger said, meeting his eyes with a pointed sort of kindness. “I know what I’m doing, Sam, I’ve been doing it for a very long time. And it’s better for everyone like this.”
“I don’t—” Sam started, faltering. On the one hand, there was something intuitively and viscerally horrifying about his friends having their memories wiped. But on the other… 
“If you don’t want to know,” his double said softly, and god, it gave Sam the shivers to hear his own voice used that way, “there is a way around it. I thought you’d rather be a part of everything that’s going on, but…”
His eyes caught and held on Sam’s like magnets, and—something had shifted behind them, something small, but with a seismic effect. He was pinned by that gaze, trapped, electrified; wholly unable to look away.
“I can do the same for you as I did for them.”
On the other hand… his double was right. It was kinder, probably, if they didn’t remember whatever they went through, and in that moment, he realised he couldn’t even begin to guess what that was. And… it was definitely easier.
“No,” he said, and when the word came out as a whisper, he cleared his throat and tried again. “No. It’s okay.”
His doppelganger blinked, and the spell was broken.
“Great!” he said brightly, back to his usual cheerful self, with all traces of that scary side—that dangerous side—folded neatly away. “You know, I really didn’t want to have to do that to you—you’ve been so much fun to work with, it would have been a shame to have it all come to nothing.”
And Sam, feeling like a marionette with its strings cut, hated the fact that he agreed. Even with everything that had happened lately, he couldn’t deny that the electricity that came from working with his doppelganger, the sizzle of pushing ideas just that bit past the boundaries and laughing uproariously at the result, was liberating. Exhilarating. Addictive, almost, a heart-racing excitement that sang in his blood.
Maybe the danger was part of the game. And as long as nobody came to any harm, he could keep playing.
“Just… promise me one thing, okay?” he started, and his double turned wide, patient eyes on him. “Promise me I won’t have to see anything like that again. There’s nothing we can do to change this now, but I can’t let it happen again, yeah? They’re my friends, and there’s a line.”
“Sure,” his doppelganger agreed. “You’re right. And I do like them, so—hm. I’ll treat them like I would my own friend.”
“Thanks,” Sam replied, finally letting the tension drain out of him. “That means a lot.”
His doppelganger just nodded in acknowledgement, then clapped him on the shoulder and grinned. “C’mon. We’ve got more work to do.”
----- missed an installment of the sam reich!master cinematic universe?
original idea by @ace-whovian-neuroscientist: x
art by @northernfireart concept: x scissor sisters sketch: x sam and his doppelganger: x
writing by me (!) part one (escape the greenroom): x part two (deja vu): you are here!
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