#we both had beautiful white shoes we had just gotten and out of nowhere the water just rushed us!

[just-a-tiny-goldfish]

Something about getting soaked in the rain can be so fun.

[jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka]

Santa Baby

Pairings: Jake Kiszka X Danny Wagner ***slash my besties

Warnings: fluffffff, domestic bliss, established relationship, smut, m/m sex, oral

Word count: 7.5k

“Did you just say you want to go play in the snow?” Jake blushed and pushed Danny off him, standing up to fix his shirt and take off his jewelry so it wouldn’t get lost or damaged. “Yeah, when was the last time we got to play in the snow?”

“Another text from Josh” Jake chuckled as he silenced his notifications and tossed his phone into the empty cup holder between him and the driver. “Have you gotten any from Sam?”

Danny glanced at his phone which was situated on a stand that hung from the air vents so it could be used as navigation. “Oh, only about seven” he smiled over at Jake and they both had a good giggle at the expense of their brothers being ignored.

As the soft laughs bubbled out of his chest Jake was able to watch as Danny kept his focus on the winding mountain road before them.

Initially Jake was reluctant about letting him drive, but Danny put his foot down and even brought up Jake's driving history to get him to back down. Though it was a low blow, Jake secretly admit that it was nice to be the passenger, so he could take in the beautiful scenery- of both his boyfriend’s gorgeous profile and the plush snow covered mountain top.

It was mostly a last minute decision for the two of them to sneak away for the holiday. Well maybe Jake had the makings of the idea in his head already after the past few weeks of nonstop photo shoots, recording sessions, and interviews had kept both him and Danny busy and drained.

He’d brought it up as a joke ‘why don’t we just disappear in the mountains and spend Christmas together?’ but to his delight Danny easily agreed.

One slightly delayed plane ride and a blink of an eye later here they were in a rental headed towards the only cabin Jake could find online still available for the week.

After just shy of an hour of driving, the deep green colored pines dusted in sparkling white grew thicker. The wind was blowing the loose powder from the tree tops like it was still snowing although the forecast didn’t call for more participation until tomorrow afternoon.

A break in the trees gave way to an open gate with a freshly plowed driveway and at the end of the drive was the quaint yet impressive cabin that the two would call their home for the next six days.

“Looks even better than in the pictures” Danny commented as he cupped his hands around his eyes and leaned his forehead against the window. He was trying to get a peek inside as Jake fumbled with finding the access code in the long message the owner had sent him with check in instructions.

“Would you quit being a creeper, what if we’ve got the wrong address?”

“There’s no way, you triple checked” Danny laughed at Jake’s incessant doubting, knowing it was just the perfectionist in him showing.

“Ah! Here it is” he chimed, reading the numbers aloud as he keyed them into the pad on the door. A little green light illuminated and the electric lock whirred as the bolt was retracted from the door.

“Good thing we’ll be able to hear if anyone tries to enter in the middle of the night” Danny commented at how loud the mechanical sound was. Either the lock needed to be greased, or they just weren’t used to the still silence of living out in the middle of nowhere.

They set their bags down at the door in a little foyer that contained a coat closet, a shoe rack, and a large framed painting of the very cabin with the phrase-

Everyone needs a place to retreat: a spot where the world grows quiet enough for the soul to speak.

“Cute” Danny said as he stood next to Jake and admired the artwork. After a moment he slipped his arm around Jake’s waist to give him a squeeze before pulling him up a step and around the corner where the rest of the cabin lay waiting for them.

Besides the small space at the front door, which offered privacy for those inside, there was a wide open floor plan shrouded in lots of blue tinged natural light from the abundance of windows that overlooked a snowscape that was so beautiful it could have been a painting as well.

To the left was a surprisingly large kitchen for the size of the cabin overall. Its stainless steel appliances shimmered, polished carefully with the numerous cleans in between stays. White quartz countertops mirrored the untouched mounds of snow outside, smooth and glittery. A vase full of probably two dozen white roses sat elegantly arranged waiting to greet the next guests. White roses Jake smirked to himself, of course they were.

The living room was to the right. It was small but cozy, a rocking chair sat in front of a large stone fireplace with a round table tucked to its side. The couch hardly looked big enough for the two of them, not that either of them minded having to snuggle up with each other. Behind the couch were sliding glass doors that led to a small porch built out of the same raw sealed pine as the interior walls. Two more rocking chairs made of sturdier wood sat on the porch that looked out into the sparse trees that grew into a sea of forest that surrounded their island of paradise.

Jake felt like he was going to get too comfortable here. He could picture how their week was going to play out already, him cooking in the kitchen, looking over the island at his boyfriend lounging comfortably on the couch, feet propped up, maybe reading a book to pass the time until food was ready. He’d stop where he was every so often to look up and say ‘smells good’ with his signature crooked smile that Jake loved so much.

Perhaps the most unexpected element was the fully decorated Christmas tree erected right in between the kitchen and the living room. It was a real tree, no doubt cut down from right outside and somehow hauled in through the door. It was covered in thick ropes of silver tinsel, glass ornaments of varying size and color, and large velvet bows. The lights weren’t on but he could tell when they did light it up, which if he knew Danny the way he thought he did would no doubt would be soon, they would glow elegantly bright.

“Look, a rule book” Danny pointed out a binder that was sitting on the counter next to the vase of roses. He flipped the book open and started to skim read aloud. “No parties, no pets, we’ve stocked some food in the fridge but there is a general store about 30 miles past the cabin's entry road. The upstairs and downstairs are heated by a radiator but it’s old so we recommend starting a fire in the evenings to keep the cabin warm. There’s a pile of wood around back. It gets really cold outside up here so there’s an assortment of coats in the closet on the foyer for your use. Please message us if you have any questions”.

“I’m going to take the bags upstairs” Jake called over his shoulder as he turned and headed back towards the front door, but Danny jumped up and ran in front of him.

“That’s alright I got it!”

Jake glowered over at Danny. He always treated him like he was a delicate flower especially when they were alone together. When in fact Jake was a grown ass man that honestly handled himself better than Danny did. He dropped his shoulders though and let Danny pick up both the bags, knowing that Danny just liked being extra nice and showering Jake with his affection any chance he could get since the times when they could be lovey-dovey around each other were few and far between.

“I’ll come with you, I want to check out the bedroom anyways” Jake wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Danny, who smiled coyly before leading them up the small spiral staircase at the other end of the living room.

The upstairs wasn’t much more than a loft. A large chair with a fuzzy gray cable knit blanket thrown intentionally over the back sat perched toward the window that overlooked the top of the porch and the yard.

Danny dropped the bags in front of the accordion closet doors and flopped onto the bed with a satisfied groan.

“Jake, I don’t want to ever leave here!” He stretched his entire body out over the bed like a starfish, unintentionally showing how impressively big the bed was since not a single long limb hung off the edge.

Jake took a seat on the chair, adjusting the waistband of his pants and crossing his legs to get comfortable. “Remember the last time we shared a room with a lounge chair?” He mused over at Danny who sat up onto his elbows in the bed with a knowing look.

Jake smirked, thinking back to the night in question when he had pulled the chair from their hotel room in front of the bed and watched Danny play for over an hour.

“You said you were going to be nice to me while we’re here” Danny reminded him, though the mischievous glint in his eye said he didn’t exactly hate the memory of it.

Jake stood up from the chair and joined Danny on the bed, marveling at the way Danny scooped him up and threw him down onto the crisp duvet. “I’m always nice to you” he playfully argued with a smile as Danny smoothed his hair away from his face.

“I know you are, I was only teasing” Danny replied quietly then quickly gave a kiss to the tip of Jake’s nose.

“See, you’re the mean one. How many times have you teased me?” Jake didn’t drop it, in fact he brought up more memories from over a year ago. “How long did you make me worry before you told me you felt the same way I did about you back?”

“That was a long time ago baby” he sighed. How they got their start was something he didn’t like to think about often.

Danny didn’t like being reminded that there was a time when he didn’t know how he felt about Jake. He knew there was something there, but feeling that way about another man, let alone your best friend's brother, was a scary notion at the time.

Danny knew now exactly how he felt about Jake. Absolutely head over heels, and he planned on spending this week letting him know exactly that.

“Come on, let’s go back downstairs, I want to go play in the snow”.

Danny blinked a few times, thinking he hadn’t heard his boyfriend right. “Did you just say you want to go play in the snow?”

Jake blushed and pushed Danny off him, standing up to fix his shirt and take off his jewelry so it wouldn’t get lost or damaged. “Yeah, when was the last time we got to play in the snow?”

Danny took a moment to think about it. It had to have been back at home in Michigan, probably when they were in highschool if not even before then. “Alright, let’s go”.

“This looks like it will fit you” Danny held up a purple polyester coat from the closet the rule book said they’d be in. He eyed the way its proportions looked like it would match Jake’s.

“Is that a girl's jacket?” Jake pouted, crossing his arms instead of taking it from Danny’s hands to try it on.

“Well it’s this, or you can try to squeeze into one of these kids jackets”. He pulled out a bright yellow one next and snickered at the way Jake snatched up the purple one and silently put it on. It fit really well actually.

Danny slipped into the navy blue one, it was a little big for him, but this was the best they were going to get with borrowed gear.

“Alright, ready?” He asked, making sure Jake had put on his gloves before they made the first step back out into the chilly air.

“Ready” Jake replied, unable to hide the childlike excitement he was feeling.

“What are you doing!” Danny hollered from where he huddled on the porch with a cup of hot cocoa trying to warm up a little. They had been outside for nearly 45 minutes now and although he was thoroughly enjoying the novelty of playing in the snow, he needed a break.

“I’m building a snowman!” Jake called back, not once worried about how cold he was getting even with his pink cheeks and frosted nose. “I used to build a snowman for our yard every year, just because Josh bet me one time I couldn’t make one taller than him”.

Danny chuckled as he took a slow sip, careful not to burn his tongue. “Well, did you?”

“Damn right I did” Jake grinned wide as he rolled the now giant ball of snow back and forth until it was nearly too big for him to pick up.

“Need some help?” Danny asked to sound supportive of Jake’s determination, but honestly he wasn’t planning on moving from his spot where he could watch in lovestruck leisure.

“You know what happens next after the snowman is up?” Jake questioned with his hands on his hips, standing back and admiring the faceless stacks of snow he’d stacked together. He didn’t bring anything out to decorate it with, but he’d shoved two twigs into its sides and that was good enough for him.

“What’s that?” Danny replied and Jake turned around with a mischievous grin. He wordlessly bent over and balled up a fist full of snow.

“You better not!” Danny yelled, already aware of what Jake was planning next. He didn’t heed his warning, instead hurled the tight packed snowball at the porch where Danny was standing.

Danny protected his drink; like the snow could do it any harm, it was too hot to drink right now he was just using the steam to warm up his face at this point.

The snowball landed at his feet, a warning shot. He turned to put the mug down on the small table between the chairs and as soon as Danny’s guard was down Jake pelted him with a ball of snow right between his shoulder blades.

He turned back around and Jake’s face lit up at the look of shock and utter betrayal on Danny’s.

“Oh, you’re in for it now Kiszka!”

“Come and give me all you’ve got Wagner!”

Danny’s arms flew up as he jumped off the porch and started running, bending down to scoop up some snow and scrunch it together between his padded palms. His first shot was a miss, but the second landed dead in the center of Jake’s chest.

“You have shit aim!” Jake called out as he tried to shield his body behind a tree. “Were you aiming for my head or my balls!”

“I was aiming for your heart!” Danny gave up on trying to gather snow and decided instead to just chase after Jake. He was faster than him anyways and it was time he proved it.

Jake caught on quickly and darted out from behind the tree, yelling and laughing as Danny chased after him. They were like a couple of big kids, finally free to yell and fight as much as they wanted without the scrutiny of others or an image to upkeep.

The thick snow was hard to run in and it slowed Jake down, or at least that was the only explanation he could believe when two long arms came circling around him and pulled him down.

He was thankful for the snow when they landed, otherwise the ground would have really hurt.

Danny landed on top of Jake, but he rolled off onto his back next to him, placing his hand on his heaving chest and waving the other in the air to call a truce.

Laying there on the ground Jake looked over and his heart clenched so hard he was afraid it might implode in on itself. Leaving nothing behind but an emptiness in his chest that could never be filled again.

Everything about Danny in this moment was perfect, from the way his dark curls stuck out from underneath his knit beanie, to the way his nose scrunched and one eye closed when flecks of snow drifted through the air.

Danny turned to meet his gaze, smiling so charmingly that Jake couldn’t stand it anymore. He lifted off the ground and threw a leg over Danny’s, successfully mounting him and attacking his lips with his own.

Danny’s were no longer warm, but he still tasted like hot chocolate. He placed his hands gently on Jake’s waist and if Jake didn’t already know that he would freeze within minutes he would have ripped that stupid purple jacket off just to feel Danny’s hands closer to him.

Once he’d had his fill, and Danny’s lips were nice and swollen, he pulled back and they locked eyes again.

Danny’s face was flush, whether from the cold or the sudden intense make out session Jake didn’t know, but his eyes gleamed with admiration. “Jake, I lo-” Danny’s words were cut short by Jake stuffing a fist full of snow into his mouth and jumping off him to run back onto the porch.

The two warmed up on the couch with the knit blanket from the chair upstairs wrapped around both their shoulders. Jake had said he didn’t want any hot chocolate, but he stole more than a few sips from Danny’s mug every now and then. Danny didn’t mind though, he’d give Jake the shirt off his back if he asked, not that it’d fit him.

They turned the TV that hung above the fireplace on but didn’t bother to flip through the channels. Instead they settled with watching whatever it was already on, which happened to be a channel running a marathon of Christmas rom-coms. The movie that was playing was already half-way over, but Jake didn’t care. This wasn’t really his taste in cinema but he was happy to be worry free, doing nothing but enjoying sitting with Danny who was actually pretty invested in the story. From what he was able to pay attention to, the whole premise of the movie was examining the different types of love.

“This movie is kind of stupid” Jake said, stealing another sip even though the liquid was luke-warm now and the chocolate powder had started to settle in a ring at the bottom.

“What? You don’t like this movie?” Danny replied, forgetting for a second who exactly he was talking to. “Well, my mom and sister love this movie. I've watched it with them a few times”.

“You’re just like those people,” Jake referred to the characters on the screen, “a romantic”. He tried to pinch Danny’s side but stopped when the squirming threatened to make the blanket fall off them.

“You are too, you just try to hide it, especially around your brothers”.

“I don’t care what my brothers think, but the team…” Jake sighed, they had this talk or a version of it many times but it never got any less frustrating. They could act like a couple at home or around family who all knew of their relationship status at this point, but in public or while working, they needed to be professionals. Not just for their sake, but for Sam, Josh, and everyone they employed too.

“I know” Danny set his mug down on the round table and slid his arm under the blanket over Jake’s shoulders to pull him close. “It’s hard right now, but eventually things will slow down and we will have more time together just like this”.

Jake knew Danny was right, but it still occasionally got to him. He’d fought so hard to get Danny, and though they had gone strong for over a year now, it sometimes felt like he still didn’t have him completely.

“You hungry? I’m going to go see what they have in the kitchen” Jake pulled Danny’s arm off of him and fixed the blanket across his lap so he wouldn’t get up and follow him.

“You know I’m always hungry” Danny smiled, grabbing the corner of the blanket and pulling it tighter around his frame.

Jake didn’t expect there to be much of anything in the fridge. Rentals usually only had the bare minimum for cooking, but he was surprised to see he had all the stuff to make some alfredo sauce and there was a package of dried spaghetti in the pantry.

It didn’t take long to cook, but the movie was already over when he returned to the living room with two plates in each hand.

Danny had fallen asleep sitting up but he slowly blinked his eyes open when he felt Jake sit back down next to him.

“You want to eat in here?” He questioned when Jake handed him his plate. Jake was usually the type to insist on eating at the dinner table, but he just shrugged and stabbed his fork into his food.

They ate in silence, Danny stealing a peak or two in Jake’s direction who was pretending to watch the next ridiculous movie on the TV.

When they were both done Jake took Danny’s plate back to the kitchen and started to rinse them off in the sink before loading them into the dishwasher for later.

“Everything ok?” Danny broke Jake’s concentration as he leaned against his elbows over the island. When Jake still didn’t say anything he pushed off and walked around over to where Jake was standing and wrapped his arms around him, resting his chin on his shoulder and simply watching as Jake mindlessly flipped through the rest of the pages in the rule book. “Tell me what’s bothering you baby”.

Jake didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want his sudden onslaught of anxious negative thoughts to ruin the mood on the first day of their little getaway. That’s why he’d left the living room when he did. He knew though that now Danny had picked up on his energy he wouldn’t back away until Jake told him.

“It’s just we will never be like the people in those movies. Sure the tour will end and we will get a break and it will be amazing to spend time with you, but there will always be another tour, another project, people watching our every move”.

It was Danny’s turn to be quiet, because he didn’t know what to say to console Jake. This had always been a sacrifice they knew they would have to make when they started this career. Whether they were dating their bandmate or not, trying to have a relationship while being a touring artist was a challenge. If anything Danny had more pain in his heart for what Jake was internally going through right now, because he was in the same shoes. He understood that their love for eachother came second, and their love for the music came first.

“Not even that, but the way things are going in the world right now. Who knows, maybe in ten years when we’re finally ready to get married, what rights we will still have”.

Danny’s eyes widened at Jake’s words. He’d never heard the word marriage come out of Jake’s mouth in this context and it made his heart skip a beat. “You want to get married?”

Jake backpedaled real quick, he hadn’t even realized what he’d said or how Danny could take it. He only meant to reflect on the fact that the future of relationships that shared the same nature as theirs would always lay in the hands of others.

“Whatever. It’s going to get dark soon. I’m going to go chop some wood around back for the fire”. Doing something with his hands would help put his thoughts to ease, it always did.

“Want me to come help?” Danny backed away, thinking it better to just ask Jake if he needed space or not right now would be best.

“I’m from Michigan, I think I can chop wood on my own”.

He found an ax and got to chopping, focusing on his form and the feeling of his shoulders rounding before listening for the sound of the wood splitting in half. In fact, he was so focused he hadn’t even heard Danny come outside.

“Hey! Why don’t you have your jacket on?” He dropped the ax next to the stump he’d been working at and yelled at Danny who was walking briskly towards him with his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“I just came to steal a few of these” his steps turned into a little jog as he realized just how cold it was even with his sweater on. He picked up a few of the logs Jake had cut and paused to press a quick shivering kiss to Jake’s cold lips before turning and running back. “Hurry up! I’ve got a surprise for you!”

Jake stacked as many of the leftover pieces as he could into his arms and carried them closer to the door for easy access, wondering the whole time what it was Danny was up to.

The first thing he saw when approaching the porch doors was the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree casting a bright glow against glass.

The sun had gone completely down while he was in the back getting his frustrations out, and he was tired and cold now.

The heat from the fire Danny had already built hit him as soon as he slid the door open. He hung his purple jacket back up on the coat rack by the door behind the couch, searching the small room for Danny.

He didn’t find his boyfriend, but he did find that Danny had come across quite a few candles, and he had them lit in various dark corners around the room so that the entire cabin was flickering and cozy in the warm fire paired with the white lights on the Christmas tree.

“Danny?” He called out, stepping a few feet to the left to check and see if he was in the kitchen. It was empty, but he could see now that on the floor in front of the couch Danny had also scattered a few pedals from the roses on the counter. What a romantic he really was.

“Sit down” Danny finally revealed himself as he started down the stairs, clearly holding something behind his back.

Jake moved around and sat back down on the couch where he had been earlier, before his thoughts and emotions got the best of him.

“I was going to give this to you tomorrow morning, but I think now is better” Danny crouched in front of Jake, placing one hand on his knee, the other still hidden from sight.

“Danny-” Jake began, his voice getting caught in his throat until he cleared it and tried again, “what are you doing?”

“Don’t worry baby, it’s not what you think it is” Danny assured him, but then stopped to think about it for a second, “well, kind of… just let me say something really quick ok?”

Jake nodded his head and stared intently at Danny as he searched for the words he meant to say when he got the idea to do all of this.

“I was thinking about what you said earlier, and you’re right, but you know I don’t really care what other people think about us or our relationship. All that matters to me is you and making you happy any way that I can. It’s not a ring, but I got this for you thinking that it would serve as a promise from me to you. A promise that that I will always be there for you, to shield you and protect you, and that we are bound together”.

Danny showed that he had a small black box and placed it in Jake’s hands for him to open.

Despite the heat from the fire Jake felt like his fingers were still numb when he pulled the top off the box and revealed what was inside. A coin set in a halo of silver and hung on a braided chain necklace.

“It’s not a real Atocha coin, I had it made by this badass jeweler back home, but this one is special”. Danny picked the delicate looking piece up and turned it around in his fingers, “If you look closely she hid our initials in the design”.

Jake took the coin from Danny and brought it closer to his face, his eyes scouring the tiny detailed engravings until he found them. A DW and JK carved right there, not in plain sight, but now that he’d found them it was all his eyes could see.

“So, I know this may sound silly,” Danny started again after he was sure Jake had found the initials, “but Jacob Thomas Kiszka I gave you my promise, do you accept?”

“I-” there were no words that would explain how Jake felt at that moment. So instead he gently placed the necklace back into the box and set it down at his side before grabbing Danny by the back of his neck and pulling him into a passionate kiss.

“Daniel Robert Wagner, I promise that I will always be there for you, and that I will never give up on us no matter how hard the road gets. I promise that I love you and have always loved you. I do accept and I hope you do too”.

“I do” a couple of runaway tears fell down Danny’s cheek, it wasn’t often that he cried, but when he did it was always bittersweet. Jake kissed his tears away and Danny smiled at the feeling of Jake’s beautiful lips against his cheeks and eyelashes. “I love you too”.

Jake propped the box up open so he could see his promise when he looked over at the round table as Danny retreated back upstairs to collect the duvet and pillows from the bed.

They spread it all out in front of the fireplace before peeling each other's clothes off between sharing needy kisses.

“So, are we secretly married now?” Danny joked after they had both sunk to their knees on the floor. He held Jake against his torso and scattered kisses across his bare shoulder.

“Only if this can be our secret honeymoon” Jake replied as he pushed Danny’s boxers down over the swell of his ass.

“That sounds heavenly to me” Danny grinned, reaching his hand between their bodies and stroking Jake a few times causing him to shiver and tilt his head back with a moan. “How do you want it baby? You want me on my back for you?”

Jake nodded and pushed Danny down, mounting him like he did before when they had fallen to the ground outside. “I need to feel you though. I need you to fill me up”.

“Really?” It wasn’t often that they switched roles anymore. Jake liked to take charge in the bedroom and Danny never once had a complaint, but they weren’t in the bedroom. No, they were on the floor of a cabin at the top of a distant mountain. In a pile of blankets and pillows, their bare skin baking in the radiating heat of the fireplace. “Lift your hips up for me then”.

Jake was eager to obey. Usually he was the one giving commands, but tonight all he wanted was to let Danny take care of him in a way he knew only Danny could. Danny spit into his hand and brought it between their bodies again, only this time he slipped past Jake’s erection and to his entrance.

Once the first finger was all the way in he was sighing and groaning as he rocked back against it, his body already begging for more.

“So impatient tonight aren’t we baby?” Danny smirked as he lined up his second finger and pushed inside.

Jake bit down on his lip to silence his cry, his hands tightening their grip on Danny’s chest to show him he still had some sort of leverage.

Just then Jake pulled off, letting Danny’s fingers slip out of him, he was ready.

“Wait,” Danny asked Jake to hold on when he felt him shifting into position. He ruffled the blanket around, pulling the corner back to reveal he’d plucked their bottle of lube from Jake’s bag and brought it down with the bedding “here”.

“Thinking ahead were you?” Jake chuckled but graciously took the bottle and coated Danny up, letting his hand linger on him, getting in a few good twisted strokes before wiping the leftover on his own thigh.

“I’m always looking out for you Jake” he replied, fighting off a groan that made its way out by contorting his eyebrows into a knot.

Jake braced one hand onto the pillow beside the man below him and leaned closer, their chests pressing together as he lined Danny up. “I know you are” he whispered with a kiss to Danny’s ear then slowly pushed his hips back against him.

Danny gasped and threaded his arms underneath Jake’s so he could run his hands up his back, feeling the way the exposure to the fire left it so hot to the touch.

Jake bit down on his lip and buried his face in the crook of Danny’s neck to hide the way his face pinched at the pressure. He didn’t want his slight fleeting discomfort to diminish any of the pure bliss he knew Danny was feeling right now.

Three rough fingers circled around Jake’s upper back and gathered the hair that hung around his neck, guiding it over his shoulders to give Danny a spot to kiss and suck on while Jake adjusted to his size.

“You’re doing so good baby. Do you feel me?” Danny purred, his sweet praises and gentle touches paired with the proximity to the fire causing Jake’s brain to short circuit for a moment.

His body was tense and he figured he probably should have let Danny take more time to prep him, but Danny was right, he was just so impatient to feel connected.

Then he lifted his head from its hiding place and looked forward. Giving himself one last glance at the necklace hanging in its box above them and remembered everything Danny had said it signified. His body melted, finally resting completely against Danny without any pain or worry left.

“There you go” Danny felt Jake physically relax and wrapped his arms around him once more as he began to work slow deep thrusts, never once letting them loose their connection.

Jake’s own cock was throbbing, trapped between their bodies getting only some relief by the way Danny’s abdomen pressed against him with every rock upward.

This was euphoria, laying in a puddle as hot as the sweet liquid they shared earlier against Danny’s chest while he held him tight and fucked him slowly, but he wanted more. So he lifted himself back up, Danny’s hands sliding back down to his hips and squeezing as Jake sat up and used the muscles in his thighs to begin bouncing up and down.

Danny was fixed on Jake’s form above him, marveling at the shadows his features cast as they danced across his face with the flickering light of the cozy room.

No more words were said, but the room was all but silent. Moans and whines, the crackling of the fire as it slowly died down with their work, and the wordless reminder of their promises to each other as they watched the physical reflection of their love bloom between their bodies.

Danny removed one hand from its firm grip on Jake’s hips where he was guiding them against him and wrapped it around Jake’s pretty cock.

Jake clenched all his muscles and groaned something painful, nearly stopping the rapid motion he’d worked up to. “No, if you do that too I’ll-” he wasn’t as used to this position as Danny was, so the added stimulation of both pleasure points at once was sure to be too much for him.

“What is it baby? You don’t want to cum?” Danny asked sweetly, no teasing in his tone at all, just concern and love for this beautiful being that graced him with his affection.

Jake shook his head frantically, stands of his hair that had stuck to the sweat on his face falling free. “No, it’s not that”.

Danny cocked an eyebrow, squeezing his fist tighter over the achingly hard flesh which resulted in another loud choked cry from Jake. “You don’t want to finish yet?” He tried his question again, watching the way Jake’s eyes squeezed shut and his expression twisted into concentration as he resumed his speed again.

Jake opened one eye, jaw falling slack as the knot was beginning to tie itself around his insides and Danny then knew what he was holding out for. “Together?”

Jake nodded this time, he was past the point of being able to speak, just waiting for Danny to say the words so he could finally let go.

“Don’t worry, I’m there. I’ve been there. You just give it to me when you’re ready”.

The sudden realization that Danny had been holding back just as much as he had was the tipping point for his sanity. Danny had stopped stroking him but that didn’t matter. Hot streaks burst across his stomach as Jake couldn’t keep it in any longer.

It was the ‘O’ face that did it for Danny. He was used to seeing stars as Jake gave him earth shaking climaxes, or his face would be buried in the sheets with his back aching from holding its arch for so long, but this time he had a perfect view as Jake reached the peak of his orgasm and it was so sensual that Danny couldn’t help but finish as well.

“Want to go for a drive after breakfast? Figure out where that general store is that was in the rule book?” Danny asked as he rubbed soft circles into Jake’s back who had collapsed on top of him and hadn’t moved a muscle since. It was perfect.

“Anything you want” Jake replied, eyes wandering around the cabin to take it all in so that he’d remember this place in as much detail as possible when he thought back on tonight. Something caught his eye and he finally lifted his head from Danny’s chest to get a better look out the windows. “It’s snowing”.

Danny followed his gaze and gave a few breathy chuckles that shook Jake. “It tends to do that in the mountains” he jested and leaned forward to steal a kiss against Jake’s cheek. “Do you want to go back upstairs and get cleaned up or stay down here tonight?”

Jake settled back against Danny, this time turning his face towards the fire that was all but burned out, just like him. “I want to stay here” he replied as Danny got the memo and tossed the blanket over their tangled bodies. “Besides we will be getting messy again in the morning”.

“Is that so?” Danny laughed again and Jake smiled, he would never get used to how much he loved that sound especially from this proximity. “Good night Jake, sleep well”

“Good night Danny”.

Danny woke up with the sun shining through the many windows, only that wasn’t ultimately what had pulled him from his dreamland. It was the pouty pink lips wrapped around his morning wood that did the trick.

“Baby” he groaned in his raspy morning voice and threaded his fingers through the head of slightly knotted tousled hair.

Jake’s eyes gave him the ‘good morning’ that his mouth couldn’t as he really started to suck Danny off now that he was awake.

It didn’t take long for Danny to get the fuzzy feeling in his toes and head as he came with a sigh of profanities paired with his lover's name.

When Jake pulled off with a still sleepy but proud smile Danny motioned for him to get up and sit on the couch before shuffling on his knees to be in front of him.

Danny played with Jake a little first, cupping his balls in his palm as he licked around the tip. Jake squeezed the cushions to keep himself from bucking up when Danny did finally take him in.

Once Jake had finished too he finally let himself touch Danny. He leaned over and pulled Danny into a sloppy kiss, the taste of each other mixing with their saliva.

“I’m going to go get your present now” Jake said when he pulled away.

“You’re telling me that wasn't it? Or last night?”

“Course not” Jake chuckled, pointing at the mess of pillows and blankets still on the floor to silently tell Danny to ‘stay’ as he ran upstairs.

When he came back he had a small green paper bag topped with red and white striped tissue paper sticking out the top. “It’s not as thoughtful as the necklace, but here you go”.

He handed Danny the gift which he happily took and brought to his lap as he dipped his hand past the paper and pulled out a pair of brand new leather golfing gloves.

“You said you needed a new pair, so I got you some. I hope you like them”. Jake was avoiding eye contact, but still wanted to watch Danny open his present even if it always made him feel shy and awkward.

The leather was soft in his hands as he turned the gloves over and examined them, honestly so surprised. “I said that months ago, in a passing comment somewhere out west between shows”. Danny remembered the conversation they had been having on the tour bus when he mentioned needing new gloves, he just didn’t expect Jake to have picked up on it and gone out to buy him some. “Thank you so much!”

Jake crawled back over to him on the floor, Danny waiting to embrace him with a million kisses.

“Merry Christmas, I love you”.

Just before Jake could reciprocate he was interrupted by a phone ringing.

“That isn’t dead yet? I didn’t even charge it last night” Danny looked around the room, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from.

“I think it’s mine” Jake replied.

Sure enough the last place he remembered having it, over on the counter by the vase, his cell was buzzing violently.

He attempted to move to stand up, but Danny wrapped his arms around him to keep him put in his lap.

“It could be mom” Jake said. He couldn’t remember the last time his mom hadn’t called him on Christmas morning no matter where in the world he was.

Danny let him go and he ran over to the phone before it could go to voicemail, not even checking who it was before answering.

“Jake! Where the hell have you been?!” Josh hollered from the other end before he could hear him turn to yell at someone, most likely Sam, I got Jake to answer!

“Hey Josh, I’m alright, just decided to get away for a bit.

“Get away for a bit? Jesus Jake you had us all scared you were drunk facedown in a snowbank somewhere! Is Danny with you? Sam hasn’t been able to get a hold of him either”.

Jake looked over at Danny who was still sitting on the floor, trying to listen in on the conversation as best he could.

“Hold on a sec” Jake walked back over to their little lovers nest and held the phone up, making sure they were both decent enough before hitting the FaceTime button. It rang for a few seconds before Josh and Sams faces popped up with shared confused looks.

At the same time they both realized what was happening and groaned in unison at the image of Jake and Danny naked, save for the gray fluffy cable knit blanket wrapped around their waists.

“Gross! My eyes!” Sam yelled, shielding them with one hand and slapping Josh with the other who held the phone and shook his head with fake disapproval.

“As you can see, we’re together and we’re fine, perfect even” he and Danny laughed and Josh rolled his eyes. “Phones about to die, tell mom we said we love her! See you guys after the new year!”

Just then Jake’s phone really did die, the screen turning black in place of his scarred brothers.

“Wait, I thought our flight home was on the thirtieth?”

Jake tossed his now useless phone over to the side and shrugged. “They don’t need to know that”.

“Now where were we?” He placed his hands against both Danny’s cheeks and smiled innocently. “Oh yeah, Merry Christmas”.

[rosethorns10]

For Better or Worse

18+ | Minors DNI

Summary: Secretly dating, you and Levi are invited to a wedding of two mutual friends. As the festivities begin, you both are celebrating in your own way.

Featured: Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith (briefly), Hange Zoë (briefly)

________________________________________________________________

A formal gown, heels, and your hair up in a stylish bun, you looked so beautiful as you stood there and mingled with the wedding guests. Small talk was being made - only to pass the time and wait for the ceremony and your friend, the bride, to show up. After a few minutes, you found a seat near the front. 

From across the way, a pair of steel-blue eyes glanced at you every so often. He was sitting with his friends – acquaintances, as he put them – and then said something to Hange. She looked over at you, and you looked away as she stood up.

You looked around at the décor: White, gold, and black. How formal and chic everything looked. 

Please, don’t come over here. For the love of shit, please don’t come over here.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Turning, you saw Hange standing there with a big grin on her face. Internally groaning, you happily inquired, “What’s up, Hange?” Hange invited, “Sit with us!”

With them…

With him…

“Are you sure?” you inquired meekly, and she grinned and said, “Yes! Levi sent me over.” “Oh? Well, how surprising,” you mused as you stood and gave up your spot. She looped her arm around yours and took you across the aisle, warranting unwanted glances. 

Once you arrived, Erwin scooted over and teased, “I’ll let you and your girlfriend sit together, Levi.” “Tch, she’s not my girlfriend,” Levi retorted as he crossed his arms, and you sat down and murmured, “He’s right. We’re not dating.” 

How troublesome it would be if we actually admitted we were.

“You look absolutely stunning,” he muttered under his breath as Erwin and the others talked, and you nodded your thanks and whispered, “You look handsome.” He rolled his eyes, and you smiled and looked straight ahead.

The music began playing, and everyone stood. After the vows were said and the ceremony sealed with a kiss, you watched as the happy couple walked down the aisle and out the door. Slipping out to get some fresh air, you entered the corridor and sighed. 

That was too much pomp and circumstance for your liking. But, you need to escape from his gaze. He had looked at you often during the ceremony, and his hand was struggling to not grab yours. It had felt like he was going to forego decorum and allow his lustful side to come out then and there.

As you turned the corner, you heard, “Oi.”

Turning around to look who was behind you, you were shocked to find Levi standing there. White cravat, white, long-sleeved shirt, black suit, and black shoes, he had a stern look on his face. 

What now?

“Yes, Levi?” you squeaked, your demeanor now demure. Walking towards you, his shoes click-clacked on the stone floor as his eyes pierced into your soul. “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked sternly, and you replied immediately as you were nearly filled with panic, “Nowhere. I’m just looking around.” 

Now in front of you, he rolled his eyes and said, “Come with me.” “Why?” you inquired curiously, and he took your hand and led you down the corridor without a word. Turning another corner, he suddenly pushed you up against the wall and kissed you. You sighed with relief; his walls finally came down. As his arm wrapped around your waist, his tongue entered your mouth. 

He didn’t need permission from you. 

As much as he fucked you, why would he ask you?

“Fuck, you made me fucking wait. How cruel do you have to be, huh?” he muttered between kisses, and you gave him a coy smile and replied, “Well, it drove you crazy, didn’t it?” 

“Tch, cheeky,” he whispered as his cool fingers lightly ran over your bare skin, sending tingles down your spine. “If you wanted me to sit with you, you should’ve gotten me yourself instead of Hange,” you whispered as he kissed down to your neck, and he pressed up against you and asked, “And have Erwin and Hange teasing the fuck out of me while asking you personal questions? No.”

You smiled from his consideration and remark, and he moved the collar that hid his love marks and kissed your neck. Your head lolling to the side, you whispered as he kissed again, “You made it difficult to find a dress that covered your marks, babe.” Licking your neck, he “hmph”ed and replied, “Well…it’s your fault. You’re too damn irresistible and taste good.”

“Levi? (Y/N)? Where are you two? Pictures are being taken!” you heard Hange’s voice echoing the corridor as her heels click-clacked on the stone floor.

Shit.

Wrapping his cool fingers around your wrist, Levi took you to one of the rooms and closed the door. As he locked it, you looked around as your eyes adjusted to the darkness. 

Of all places...it had to be a storage room with cleaning supplies. A dusty room with cleaning supplies. We’re gonna get in trouble for this.

Taking his jacket off and putting it on one of the chairs, he immediately went over to you and whispered, “Tch, the place is filthy. Bend over. We don’t have a lot of time, and I’m not going to fucking wait until this night’s over.”

“Bend over? Where?” you asked rather innocently, your mischievous demeanor breaking through just for him. Impatiently, he pushed your head down onto the table. 

His hand on the back of your head and then moving to the back of your neck, he whispered in your ear, “Here, you naughty girl. Fuck…you in that dress…you look so fucking beautiful. Enough playing around. Hange will find us sooner or later, and I’m not going to be found midthrust with you trying not to cry my name. Try to stay quiet.” 

“Between you and me, Levi, I think you’re the louder of us,” you teased, and he asked, “Is that so? Wanna make a bet with me?” “Bet?” you asked as you turned your head to look at him, and you saw a smirk on his face. 

That smirk was just for you and no one else. How lucky you were.

Giggling, you inquired, “What’s the bet?” Quietly, he replied, “I bet you’ll be screaming my name by the time I’m done with you.” “Or, you’d be saying mine,” you teased as you licked your lips, and he said, “Bet I won’t. I bet you’ll say my name way before I say yours.” “Bet,” you replied as he raised your skirt and saw you were already starting to soak through your panties. 

“How wet you are,” he mused as he pulled your panties down, and you sighed, “To be honest, this is kinda hot.” As he worked to get his cock out, he asked, “Yeah? Well, how bad do you want me?” “Bad enough,” you whispered, making him smirk. For someone with a height and physique as his, he had surprised you the first time with his length and girth. He truly lived up to the Ackerman name.

Stroking it, he murmured alluringly, “Do you want it?” “Yes, Le…Sir,” you replied, catching yourself. “Faltering already?" he teased, "Tch, you’re used to saying my name. I think I’ve broken you in. Now…” Pushing two fingers into your cunt, he began to fuck you like that. 

Pleasure trying to take control of your body, you gasped, “Sir, nnngh… Not that.” Smirking, he whispered, “I like you calling me “Sir.” Now…” He quickly thrust his cock into you, nearly making you cry out. His hand on your coccyx, he made your back arch as he growled, “Fuck, you’re tight. Baby...” As you adjusted to his size, you could only let out a whimper. 

Thrusting at his usual pace and grabbing your hips, he growled, “You wore that fucking dress and did this.” “Well… Fuck, it’s your fault.” you breathed, and he asked, “How the hell is it my fault?” “I told you I’d be wearing it, and you were the one who said it suited me. Didn’t I warn – ah, damn it. I’m not gonna lose this fucking – “

He thrusted deeper and harder, breaking your sentence. Nearly forgetting your bet, you gasped, “No…damn it, Le…” “Say my name, baby,” he ordered between thrusts, and you shook your head and groaned, “No.” 

Damn it, I’m not going to fucking lose to him.

Pulling your head up and bringing your lips to his, he kissed you and whispered, “Say my name. It’s all right. Lose this bet, and I’ll cum inside you.” “I’ll be damned to lose this bet, babe,” you whispered, and he growled, “Damn it. You were so damn close. Just say my name.” You shook your head furiously, and he thrust into you so hard that you ended up crying out, “LEVI!”

Trembling underneath him, you had coated his cock to its base. Your hair now somewhat of a mess, your body was in control of itself as it had left your mind in the dust. 

Damn him... I... I - Fuck, I lost.

“There’s a good girl,” he murmured as he let you back down, and you gasped, “Levi…” “What, baby?” he panted as sweat rolled down his face, and you groaned, “Damn it, I lost the bet.” “I knew you would,” he breathed before thrusting past your cervix. 

Your cheek against the table, you were pounded senseless as your body acted on its own. Your mind was blank, and you felt swimmy headed. “Fuck,” you heard him growl, and you lost all control and began crying his name.

Levi…Levi…Levi…

A few more thrusts, and he groaned and smacked your ass. “Stay right there, baby… Fuck, this won’t be the last time today we’ll fuck,” he breathed as he held onto you, and you sighed, “I knew it. You wouldn’t resist.” “Oh? Well…” he groaned before pulling out, and you moaned and turned around. 

Your eyes widened, and a “Holy shit,” left your lips.

Larger than usual, thicker than usual… No wonder he couldn’t wait any longer. If Erwin or Hange had seen him like this, seen that, they’d pick at him like no tomorrow. 

Kissing your lips, he whispered, “I love you. You know that, right?” Smiling, you nodded and murmured, “Yes, I do. I love you, too.” Taking a handkerchief out of his pocket, he said, “Good. Now, excuse me.” You nodded and took care of yourself as he took care of himself. For someone so rough, he was still such a gentleman.

When you two were ready to go, he took your hand and said, “Dance with me this evening.” “In front of everyone?” you inquired softly, your mind racing as your heart pounded against your chest. 

It’d mean he’d be confirming the rumors were, indeed, true. 

A rare gentleness overcoming his usual expressionless expression, he wrapped an arm around your waist and murmured, “Yes, in front of everyone. I’d be damned to let anyone flirt with you this evening. You’re mine.”

[blissfulparker]

Driving First class→T.H

Parings: mechanic!tom x reader

Summary: A bitter fight with your now ex has you taking your car instead of a train for a business trip. Although out of your pettiness and anger, your car breaks down and you are left in the middle of nowhere but luckily Tom sees your distress and the man who works on the car is your best rescue. But he works on you other ways both Physically and emotionally

Warnings: Dom!tom, sub!reader, degrading(only slightly), sex on top of a car, squirting, oral, unprotected sex (this is fictional please use protection!), orgasm denial, power struggle, Tom being scared of women for two seconds

Word count: 5.5k

A/n: yeah so idk why I got so horny all the sudden and wrote this. Tbh...I like this version of tom, whatever this is I kinda like it. Let me know what you guys think, if you want to see more or less but I present to you: the first full fic I’ve written in months!(also I know barely anything about cars so I’m sorry if it’s cringy😭)

“Fuck! Shit! Dammit! Fuck! Fuck!” You scream. Hitting your hands against the steering wheel. Such a stupid idea with a stupid end result how could you not expect it?

Taking a car instead of a plane or a train across the country to avoid your ex on a business trip. Thinking you were being more bold and brave, proving you never needed him in the first place when now you sit stranded out in the middle of nowhere with a smoking engine and only hours until sunset and you’re sweating your ass off in a suit. A suit, who the hell wears a suit on a road trip?

Your Phone only having one bar and giving you 20%, you’re doomed. Doomed to be stranded out here and either killed by a maniac or killed by a bear. If London even had bears you would be killed by one. Wanting to cry and scream and maybe a train seat next to your ex who cheated was a better option than crying in your grandpa’s old Chevy that you thought was a better idea than the Tesla or the BMW. Anything would’ve been a better idea than this one but for once you couldn’t let go of the fiery side to you and just got in a car with your middle finger to your ex thinking you were so much better than a first class seat with expensive champagne.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” You say to yourself. Your hands run over your face. As dramatic as you can be you think you feel the end coming. The smoke from the engine never dies down and the sun is getting hotter and hotter. No more bubble gum pop plays from the radio but instead the sound of birds chirping and your paranoia of a bear eating you eats at your ears. You think maybe you should’ve sent that drunk ‘I miss you’ text to your ex back two nights ago when you were drunk to maybe just feel his dick once more and get on a stupid train with him but now you are—

“Miss?” A knock at your window causes you to jump. Screaming as you are met with the face of a man and grabbing your pepper spray from the keys and pointing. Even though the window was rolled up you still point and he backs up with his hands up.

“What the fuck!” You scream as you lower the pepper spray. You don’t know when, don’t know how, but now pulled in front of you was a black SUV that was in much better shape than your car. A man who wore a tight white shirt and had sweet chocolate brown curls stood with a scared look on his face.

“I-I’m sorry! I-I wanted to make sure you were okay. I’ve seen your smoke some while back and...and you were slumped over your steering wheel and needed to make sure I didn’t need to call police.” He explained very rushed. You place your hand over your heart, calming yourself as you reached to roll down your window so you can properly talk to him. A harmless boy who was probably on his way home.

“I’m fine.” You almost groan as you put your pepper spray back down. Running your hands over your face once again. Tom takes in how nice you look, black suit and neatly painted nails, you looked expensive so what was such an expensive girl like you doing in such a dirty old car like this?

“You got smoke coming from your car, you don’t look fine miss.” He looks at the cloud that still comes from your car. He has a worried look. You hate that you make the assumption of him being a man so he will know how to fix it but at the same time he was an Angel sent from Heaven,

“The engine blew out...at least I think…” you trail off. Honestly you didn’t know anymore, The last time you worked with a car was when you were 15 and before your grandpa died. The only person who truly taught you about cars now seemed to be reincarnated into the Greek god in front of you.

“Mind if I take a look?” He asked and you nodded as you popped the hood.

Stepping out of your car you join the boy in the front. Taller than him in the heels you wore having him look up at you as if you were the Angel sent down in the moment.

He doesn’t hesitate to dig his fingers into your car. Feeling the overheated engine and you watched as his eyes went in shock and his sigh. You were fucked. Utterly fucked and no, it wasn’t by some hot guy on a plane like you wished in the moment.

“She’s busted.” He looked at you. You almost want to roll your eyes and go ‘thanks’ as if you already didn’t know that. “I might be able to fix her up, gotta take her back to the shop and see what I can do but other than that she’s no good for a ride.” He placed his hands on his hips and looked up at you again.

“You mean it’s like broken broken down?” You start to panic even more. Ruining the BMW was far more worth it than the ‘57 Chevy you drove. No one made a car like this anymore and you adored it. Every chip of paint, every dent, each faded seat you loved as your own.

“I can see what I can do.” He shrugged. He starts to walk to his car, opening the trunk to hook your busted vehicle up to his and drag it back to where he just came from. As he starts to hook up your car you only just stare, watching as he does his work. He rubs his now oily hands on his pant leg before he looks up at you.

“You wanna hop in the front?” He asked and you started walking to your car and he let out a laugh. “No I meant my car, Angel.”

The random man that pulls over on the side of the road, has you pointing your pepper spray one moment ago now has you acting like a idiot as he was so pretty and a gift sent just for you.

“Right,” you walk around to the passengers seat. “Sorry.” You cleared your throat as you sat and waited in silence. Waiting for him to come around and when he does he doesn’t say anything but just starts up the car.

“You’re not going to kill me are you?” You looked over to him who has a goofy grin on his face.

“No sweetheart.” He shakes his head and you sigh in relief. As if he would even tell you that he was going to kill you. “You’re not going to kill me are you? With that spray you’ve got?” He teased and you shook your head.

“No, and sorry, I was just panicked and you are—“ you started but he lets a low laugh that you find so attractive.

“No I get it, you’re fine.” He stared back at the road. You were so use to the city, the tall building and the blinding lights you never really got to see the beauty of London outside of it. The gorgeous countryside you never knew existed actually did. But the countryside only lasted for so long before you were in a town filled with some of the cutest shops and was like a small city. So cute and so tiny.

“You wear heels on a road trip?” He broke the silence again and this time you’re looking at the four inch shoes.

“I-well-“ you looked and sounded like a proper idiot. You worked for one of London’s best businesses and now you were stumbling over your words, “well...yes? I’m on a business trip.” You admit and he looks back at the busted vehicle.

“I don’t know what business you work for but them sending you in a—“ he starts and you shake your head.

“No, no, that is mine. I thought—I didn’t want to go on a train and—it’s just complicated. A complicated stupid mess.” You tell him and he tilts his head as if he was agreeing.

“Well, I’ll see how well I can get you out of the complicated stupid mess.” He flashed a smile before he turned into what looked like a garage. A large garage that was filled with cars of all types, from new to old there were cars that had looked like they had been worked on for days as Tom pulled his car up and turned it off.

“We have some water in the front if you need some and there's a bathroom in the back. Make yourself a home, I'll get started.” and so for once, instead of just staring at him as if he was a piece of art hanging in the louvre, you search for the bathroom and the water he was talking about.

Leaving him to pop back open your hood, you walk into the bathroom and run cold water over your face. Feeling yourself relax at the feeling of finally getting the heat from the sun out of your face. Facing yourself in the mirror, you stare long and hard at yourself. The dimly lit bathroom, the achy feeling in your feet from being so stupid and wearing heels, the fact you broke down in god know what part of london but now you are in a mechanic shop and you are letting some random person fix up your beloved car.

“Should’ve just gotten on the train.” you groan as you take a paper towel and dry your face. Reaching for the door and walking back out to the garage where tom was now in a white tank top that was stained black all over, he had a towel over his shoulder as he worked at your car. You try to swallow the lump in your throat as you are completely mesmerized by the man in front of you.

Should've gotten on the train. Should've gotten on the train. Should've gotten on the train.

“Fuck!” Tom almost hits his head on the hood of the car as he sees you. You think he had curly hair at the start, now he had hair that kind of stuck to his forehead from the heat and sweat of your car. His hands are covered in black oils and he wipes them on the towel. “You scared me.” he lets out a breath as if he held it in and you take a seat at the stool next to the table filled with tools as he walks over to it.

“Sorry,” you say as you look at the car and try not to make it obvious you want to fuck him right now. A complete stranger that picked you up, you want to fuck. What if he did want to kill you? What if he had a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Or a family of kids? What if-

“You hear me?” he was closer to you than ever and you felt your whole body go weak.

“I'm so sorry,” you shake your head. “What did you say?’

He lets out that stupid pretty laugh of his again as he puts tools back in the tool box. Cleaning up the mess he just made he repeats himself.

“I said, your car is so old that they don't make the part I need to fix her up anymore. Luckily I know a guy who has the part but it will take a few days to come in. the engine is completely busted and i think if i go a year up in model I can put it in just right. But for now she needs to cool off. She’s not gonna be able to drive for a while.” he gives you almost a pout and you slouch your shoulders.

“So I'm screwed?” your brows raised and he gave you a pressed lipped look.

“Im sorry angel, I got a spare room at my place or there is a bed and breakfast up the road I can drop you off at but for now there is nothing I can do.” he says and you sigh. Maybe you want to cry, scream, throw something but Tom notices it all at once as he watches your head drop.

Tom grew up around boys. His whole life was wrestling with his brothers and working on cars. He never dealt with girls crying. Even when he had girlfriends they typically left when they were crying but now he has a crying girl right under his roof after he worked on her car. It did take everything in him to not ask why she used the old thing but he knew a lot more was happening than just a beat down old car.

“I'm sorry. I should thank you, not cry.” you sniffled as you looked up at him who was on his knees crouched down for you. Face to face, he had a concerned look.

“I have a feeling that car isn't why you’re crying.” he didn't know how to play therapist and mechanic but tonight he would.

“I was so stupid not to just get on the train. God, I would have already been there by now and all because I didnt want to sit next to my stupid cheating ex who I thought I was so much better than if I just got in this old thing and drove there myself.” you wipe your eyes and he hands you a tissue but you shake your head.

“He sounds like a shit guy.” He spoke and you nodded.

“He is, but he was the only one that gave a shit about me and now I'm here like an idiot. Well, not an idiot...no, yeah. An idiot. You're really nice and sweet though so thank you.” you try and give him a smile and he stands up.

“Get up.” he groans a bit as he stretches his legs. “C’mon sweets, get up. I’m not going to let you cry over a guy who treated you like shit. You drink?” he asked and you nodded. “I have some beer in the fridge, you already had a shit day let's not cry about it.”

You don't know if you wanted to throw the wrench at him or if you needed him to say that. Either way he sets an ice cold beer in front of you and pops open the top for you.

Probably making more money than everyone in this town, you never thought you would plop down on a nearly broken bar stool in the middle of a car mechanic shop and drink away your feelings with a random man you just met today. You didnt even know his name, nor did he know yours but he listened to everything you had to say about your ex boyfriend who was probably fucking some model right now while you for once felt like you didnt have to play pretend nice in front of someone. How you don't know what god above sent this man in front of you but he did and he listened to each of your problems, nodding and not saying anything back as he just listened to everything.

“I used to work on cars too.” you look over at the cars and he raises his brows.you had finally stopped crying so much, realizing what was happening and where you were but you felt like a weight was taken off your shoulders when you told him everything. Not even your best friend could make you feel like that.

“Penthouse princess used to work on cars?” he teased and you only nudged his shoulder.

“Wow, penthouse princess?” you repeat back to him with a playful smile and he nods.

“Never got your name and you live in a penthouse and act like a princess.” he takes a sip of his beer and you finally extend your hand to meet his.

“(y/n).” you shook his dirty one but wow were his hands thick. You could feel each callous and feel each crooked finger. Your mind went to dirty places and you think maybe he caught on as he watched your legs cross over themselves as you shook his hand.

“Tom.” his thumb swiped over yours as he shook your hand. The feeling made you swallow hard and him smirk just a bit for himself. Before you could get too comfy you walked over to a truck that already had its hood popped open. You stumble a bit in your heels and the uneven ground and Tom is quick to follow you to make sure you don't hurt yourself.

“That's the engine.” you point. And he nods, his hand is on his hips as he watches you point and explain. “That's the brake pad, that's where you put in the oil…” you trail on and Tom nods as you get everything correct.

“Very good, darling.” he nods impressed and you look over at him with a smirk.

“What? No penthouse princess?” you're close to him. You didn't realize how close he was to you before you turned around and are almost chest to chest with him.

“Mmh, you have a preference?” he teased and you look down at your feet. You're still taller than him, but you think even without the heels on you would be either taller or the same height as him. You were always told that you were the one in control, always the one in demand which seemed to be a complaint by your ex.

“Mmh,” you lean in close enough to where your chest is gently pressed against his. “I'm not sure yet.” you let your hand go to the strap of his tank top, its dirty with oil before you let your hands go down and touch the muscle. Feeling just how strong he was, he was pretty tanned too. He was both toned and tanned as he watched your hands trail down to the bottom of his shirt.

His hands rested on your waist. Holding you tight in place and maybe in the moment he was the shorter on but he was always in control. Always.

“You seem so indecisive, do you want to drive or get on a train? Get back with a man or stay away? You don't even know where you want to sleep at night but you still act like you're so in control.” he almost mocks, giving you the same pout you had throughout the entire night and it shocked you.

“I know what I want.” you nearly snarl back and he clicks his tongue.

“Yeah?” he almost whispers as he leans in for your ear. “Prove it.”

You don't know when or how but his lips quickly land on yours. In a rough fight for dominance he has his hands wrapped around your thighs and has you picked up and laid down on one of the cars with a hood down. You don't realize it's your car with his hood down until you brace yourself on the hood. Stripping of your suit jacket and fiddling with your pants button but tom is already on it. He's down on his knees, undoing the straps of your shoes as he lets his hands go up and undo the buttons of your pants. Having you nearly completely naked in front of him, that's not exactly what he was going for as he picks you up from the hood as has you on your knees in front of him.

“Was so cute, you thought you were going to get exactly what you wanted.” his hand was dirty as it stroked your face but landed a grip on your chin. Pulling you in close, your head in between his thighs looking up at him with pleading eyes. You almost whimper, you were on your knees for a man you didn't know and you were almost whimpering.

“Dont act stupid.” he nearly spit at you as he leaned back. Your hands are going to unzip his pants but he stops you. Forcing you to rest your hands on his thighs as he pulls himself out of his pants. You swallowed hard as he was bigger than you had expected--far bigger than your ex as you felt like your mouth was watering as he used his thumb to stroke over the tip.

“Stick your tongue out.” he told you. You gladly stuck your tongue out with your mouth wide and ready to take him. He had one grip on your jaw and the other guiding his cock into your mouth. You start to suck but that's not what he wanted. He held your jaw in place as he thrusted up into you.

“Thats a good girl,” he hissed as he used your mouth as if it was his own personal toy. You reached to stroke what couldnt fit in your mouth and he let out an airy laugh. “What a little whore you are.” he shook his head. “So desperate, is this not enough for you? Sucking on my cock not enough for you?” he taunted you and you only moan—or at least try to moan and he laughs.

“What was that darling? I can't seem to hear you?” he teased and you only whined more with your mouth around him. You play a game with yourself where you think you can make him cum like this. Making him cum this early would mean that you always were more incharge from the start. But you barely know him, you don't know how long he can last.

“Get up.” he pulls your head off of him. His cock still hard as it fell onto his stomach and you were drooling with his precum. Your eyes don't even look up at him you look at the redness of his cock, how you want more of it and maybe you were the whore like he said.

“Look at me,” he pulled you up, now face to face with him. His hand that was free slips in between thighs, teasing as he gets closer and closer to your core and he clicks his tongue again. “Such a dirty girl, don't even want to look at me, say thank you, you just look at my cock wanting more. You want more?” he strokes your cheek and you nod. “What was that? A moment ago I thought I was talking to one of the richest girls in London but now I feel like I'm talking to just some whore--” he starts to talk but your lips are already on his. You straddle his hips. Extremely unsturdy but he quickly picks you up and flips you over. As much as he'd loved to see what you look like on top of him. Tits bouncing for him and trying to hold on, here was not the best place. He would get a better view later, he just knew it.

For now he flips you over on your stomach. You're pressed up against the car as he wraps his hand around your waist and uses his fingers for a bit.

“So fucking tight.” he slides in slowly at first. Making you gasp and him hiss. “That other boy fuck you like this?” he asked but you were too busy trying to feel more of him. His hand comes down to your ass and in shock you yelp. “I asked you a question, don't say you don't know manners either.'' He was close to your ear and you shook your head no.

“No!” you nearly cry out as he pushes into you. Completely filling you up. You feel tears perk at the corner of your eyes for how desperately you needed him. You even push back on him and he lets out a soft laugh. “H-he's never fucked me like this, god tom please move!” you cry out. His hands come to your waist and he clicks his tongue again.

“Since you asked so nicely.” he teased as he pulled himself fully out and pushed himself fully back in. you cry out, not caring who heard you, you cried out as he fucked into you like you two were the last people on earth.

“Fuck youre so tight.” he threw his head back as he held on to your hips. You felt yourself give up under him. There was no use in you trying to take control anymore when he did this to you. Had you dumbed down just for his dick.

“I need to cum tom.” you cry out. You try and open your eyes to look back at him who has created a rhythm for your body. His head is thrown back and he shakes his head.

“No.” was all he said and you nearly cry more. “Not yet.” was all he said as he went faster.

“Please, please, please.” you begged between a mixture of moans and cries. Reaching back to hold his hands but he quickly moved them to wrap around your waist and touch your clit. Using his thumb to rub gentle circles you nearly

“So cute when you whine like that.” he chuckled. You felt him twitch, knowing he was close too, you clenched your walls around him. You could barely hear his gasp but you have your cheek pushed up against the hood of your car that got you here in the first place.

“Fuck,” he struglld to moan out. “C-Cum for me.” he sped up and your whole body went numb. You swear you pass out for a moment as all you hear are his moans and the sudden feeling of him stopping.

Both heavy breathing you slowly move yourself to get up, at least turn yourself around so you can face a clearly stunned tom. His mouth open just a bit and his eyes are wide.

“Y-you squirted.” he tells you and suddenly you go from feeling like the sexiest person alive to feeling your body heat up in full embarrassment.

“I-i'm so sorry i-i didn't know-” you start to stammer as you reach for your shirt to clean him up but he shakes his head still trying to catch his breath.

“No, It was hot.” he says as his shock turns into a small smirk, cocky that he was able to do that. “Fuck, have you ever done that before?” he asked.

Your cheeks heated up, even though he couldn't see the clear embarrassment you nodded. One time, years ago when you were by yourself. You hadn't touched yourself in over a month and it was just the highest setting of your vibe and the hottest porn star you could find that had done it to you. Never ever had an actual man been able to make you do that. Hell, you were lucky if your ex even made you cum.

“O-Once, once but I was by myself.” you swallowed hard, you could already see the smirk on his face as he knew he was so much better than anyone you had ever had. He didn't even know your ex partners but if he could get you to do that the first time he fucked you then even you knew you didn't need anyone else.

He uses his clean shirt to clean you up. Helping you slip back on your underwear and making sure that you could still walk--you barely could. He helps you into his car. Letting you cool down a bit before he drove out of the garage, driving down the road and it was only about a minute until you arrived at the cutest house you had ever seen.

He lifted you out and brought you inside, passing you clothes that were far better to sleep in than a suit and your completely ruined underwear, you found yourself getting comfy under his bedsheets.

“So im guessing im not going to the bed and breakfast for the night?” you nuzzled into the sheets that smelt of ocean spray and cedarwood. This man was some sort of god, you swore on it.

“Hmm, no. unless you still want to.” he slides under the sheets himself. His hands dont touch you but you gladly lean in and wrap your arms around him. He at first stills, stiffens his whole body before he relaxes for you. He didn't even know what he was thinking. First he helps the pretty girl he worried was dead on the side of the road and now he has her in his bed after having one of the best orgasms of his life.

“No,” you hum against his chest. “If you don't mind.” but it wasn't a question. This time you take control over the situation and fall quickly asleep in his arms. He only lays there, waiting for you to find yourself fully asleep.

Fuck that stupid train, fuck your stupid ex, and fuck him.

-

Dark roast and sizzling eggs fill your nose. You wake up with puffy eyes, from crying last night embarrassingly in Tom's arms you look down and see you're only in a random stained tee and your underwear. In a way,you thought you hit your head hard enough on the steering wheel that all of this was a dream but it was real. You lay in a grey sheeted bed and hear the sound of music come from the kitchen.

Ideally, if you got on the train, you would have woken up in a hotel with a view of the city and probably eat half of a bagel and drink rich coffee from the breakfast bar before being off to your first conference of the day. But you were instead naked in the bed of a man who was helping you fix your car.

You stumble out of the bed, your legs wobbly, feeling as if you did a hardcore work out you nearly wince. What the man did was something you swore was only in porn. You don't know what kind of magic fucked him over while he works on cars but his fingers were skilled.

“Woah, woah,” Tom came over to you. Plaid boxers and no shirt, you think you died and went to heaven. Your car exploded and you died and went to heaven and if this is what it was then you were perfectly okay with that. “You okay?”

You nod, sitting at the island and only watching him. You knew you had to say a word soon but you didn't know what to say.

“Not so sure how you liked your eggs so I made them scrambled because that's personally how I like them but I can make them any other way you like-” he starts to go off and you only nod.

“No, I like scrambled.” When was the last time you had a breakfast like this? You grew up with servants and your parents are always gone. You never had a breakfast as simple as this.

He gave you a smile, you walked over to the coffee machine and poured coffee into the mug that was already out.

“Not sure if you were a coffee or tea type of person, if you-” before you could listen to his ramble again you shook your head.

“I like coffee. Coffee for the morning and tea typically in the evening.” you tell him and he gives a smile and a sweet nod.

“Me too.” was all he said before he remembered what was happening. “Hey, when do you have to be at that business trip? Or whatever it was?” you nearly spit out the coffee as he brings it up. You knew everything that was happening but honestly you were holding on to the concept you died and went to heaven but you had a conference in probably an hour and who the hell knows where you are.

“You know what,” your heart suddenly calms down. The panic subsides as you take another sip of that coffee. “Fuck them. They have waited for others before and they can wait for me. Fuck the trip, fuck the car and fuck my ex.” you felt good saying it. Tom slid you a plate of eggs and toast and you smiled.

“The car is still better than the train?” He remembers how all of this is about you and your ex fighting and you not wanting to sit on the train next to him.

With a smile, with everything that had happened within the past 24 hours, you pick up the plate and turn to tom.

“I don't think I should've taken the train.”

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Tagged for mechanic!tom: @londonspidey

[thisisarcanereverie]

Something ‘Bout You (Biker Natasha x Reader) Chapter 1

A/N: Hey this is a new series! I’ve been meaning to write something for her for a while now so here ya go enjoy! 

MAIN MASTERLIST

MCU MASTERLIST

NATASHA ROMANOFF MASTERLIST

REQUESTS ARE FREE AND ENCOURAGED 

SUMMARY: After Wanda announces her engagement a familiar face returns into your life. 

“(Y/n)!”

You heard the familiar chime of the doorbell and the familiar excited voice of your friend fill the relatively empty store. You whipped your head to her just in time to see her barrelling toward you and captured you in a bone crushing hug. 

“Whoa there Wands,” You said as you returned the hug, “did something happen or are you just that happy to see me?” 

Wanda quickly released you from her vice grip, “oh nothing much happened,” Wanda paused before holding up her left hand, “except this.” On her left hand on her ring finger sat a beautiful vintage ring. 

“Oh my god!” You exclaim smiling as you grab her hand to get a closer look at the ring, it was simple in design but it really suited Wanda. ‘When did this happen?!” 

“Last night,” Wanda reveals happily her smile never deterring, “Vis and I were watching reruns of the Dick Van Dyke Show, I told him how Mary’s ring was beautiful and next thing I know he asks ‘is it as beautiful as this ring’ next thing I know he’s down on one knee with the ring in his hand asking me to marry him.” 

“I’m so happy for you and Vis.” You congrat Wanda as you and her continue to talk about her engagement for a few more minutes. 

“Actually Vis and I were planning on going to the city tonight to celebrate, are you busy?” Wanda asks. You take a quick look at your calendar finding nothing but closing the store on the agenda for tonight. 

“Nope,” You respond, “just have to close the store.” 

“Close early and Vis and I will pick you up,” Wanda said, “We’re bringing Pietro, Steve, Bucky, and Monica with us.” 

You hesitate for a bit, but you take one look into Wanda’s pleading eyes, the same eyes that have gotten you into more than your fair share of trouble since highschool, next thing you know you’re nodding your head in agreement.

Wanda lets out a small squeal before enveloping you once again in a small hug before saying goodbye and that Pietro will pick you up by seven. 

As you continue about your day, stacking books and working the register you start to wonder when the last time you actually had a date was. 

During the slow rush you decide to check your calendar again. You flip through each page until finally you land three months prior where you had plans to meet up with the local coffee barista at some bar you can’t remember the name of. What you do remember is that the date ended with you buying a half quart of ice cream and watching reruns of Gilmore Girls. 

You check the clock and check the store to find it empty. You decide now would probably be a good time to close and to start getting ready for the night in the city with Wanda and the rest. 

You turn the sign on the door to ‘closed’ and push all thoughts of dating to the back of your mind. 

---

You had just slipped your shoes on when you heard Pietro knock on your door in the familiar pattern he’s done since high-school. 

You answer the door to reveal Pietro. You always thought he had looked handsome in that mischievous way. But when he wears that white button up and slacks with his hair gelled back he is a special type of handsome. 

“Well damn don’t we look fancy tonight?” You say as Pietro noticeably checks you out in the same appreciation. You did a small turn in your black dress that fell just mid thigh. 

“And you don’t look too bad yourself Princeza,” Pietro said as he offered his arm in an overdramatic gentlemanly style. Which you responded in kind, laughing slightly as you made sure to lock the door behind you before finally heading out.  

---

You were back in your parents backyard, sitting in that hammock with a book in your hands. Nancy Drew had wormed her way into eleven year old you’s heart, with all of her adventures and detective skills. 

Just as you were about to reach the climax of the book you heard a familiar voice. 

“Whatcha reading today?” You look away from the book and spot a familiar blue haired girl the same age. She was the neighbor that moved in about three years ago, Natasha, who quickly became your best friend. 

“Nancy Drew,”

“Again?”

“There’s more than one Natty.” You responded, next thing you know the book is lifted from your hands and Natasha is hovering over you with the book in her hands. 

“Naaat.” You whine as you try to reach for the book only to have her expertly move it away from you. 

“C’mon,” Natasha says as she makes her way to the bushes separating your yard and hers, “adventure awaits.” 

You struggle a little as you make your way out of your hammock and through the lush bushes to Natasha who slips through the crack in between. 

“Nat,” you warn lightly. 

“I promise I’ll give you the book back,” Natasha promises, “but first we go on an adventure! Grab your bike and meet me out front!” 

“Where exactly is this adventure?” 

“Just grab your bike, chatty cathy!” 

You hear her footsteps rush over to her bike as you rush to yours. 

By the time you let your parents know you’ll be riding your bike and get to the front of your house Natasha is already waiting for you. 

Together you both rode your bikes until finally settling on a clearing near the local park. There was this big oak tree and in front of it a huge rock as well covered in green moss. 

For a while both you and Natasha played by either climbing on the rock and proclaiming yourselves rulers of the land, climbing the tree, playing pretend in the most kid way possible. 

However you would catch glimpses sometimes, you didn’t know what, but it made you worry for her. Like how sad she looked, or scared. 

Finally, after being worn out by playing you both lay on the grass beneath you and watch as the fireflies began to dance around the big oak looking like thousands of moving stars. 

You were enjoying the bit of peace and silence when you felt her hand hold yours. You look over and see the blue haired girl still staring at the millions of fireflies with a smile on her lips. 

“Thank you for being my best friend.” She said gently as you looked away from her and continued watching the fireflies dance, until the sun finally set and it was time to go home. 

She never did give that book back. 

---

“Princeza, we're here.” You hear the familiar accented voice say. You slowly open your groggy eyes to see the glittering lights of the city. 

“How long was I out?” 

“An hour.” 

“So the whole car ride,” You say, you could see Pietro nod from the driver's side, “I’m sorry.” 

“What for?” 

“I was asleep the whole car ride, you were probably bored.” 

“No, I wasn’t bored,” Pietro said, “I know you haven’t been sleeping much because of the store.” 

Here it comes. 

“You need to start working less Princeza,” Pietro continued concerned, “you spend all your waking hours at the store, tending to your books, and life is going to pass you by.” 

“Pietro-” 

“I don’t mean to be harsh or rude,” Pietro quickly added, “it’s just I see you all the time at the store and nowhere else lately. I get that the store is demanding, but just try to make some time for yourself. Promise me?” 

You look at him and can’t refuse. 

“I promise.” 

You can start relaxing tonight. 

---

You came to quickly realize that clubbing really wasn’t your thing. 

A pile of random sweaty bodies ground on each other on the dance floor to music that hurt your eardrums. 

It wasn’t that you were judging anyone for liking this atmosphere, it just wasn’t your cup of tea, you preferred to stay on the sidelines and watch your friends dance. 

And the full bar proved that you weren’t the only one. 

You had looked away for a second to order a beer when you spotted someone familiar. 

It was dark save for the flickering lights that illuminated her every once in a while. You couldn’t place where you knew her but you knew that you knew her. It was in the way she walked with a certain grace and her eyes were sharp enough to cut through you and you imagined her tongue was the same way. 

She must have noticed you staring because the next thing you know she’s staring right at you. Your eyes lock and that’s when it hits you. 

You didn’t recognize her without her blue hair. 

Natasha. 

You panic and turn back to the bar to order that beer you were going to order about five minutes ago. You mentally beat yourself up, if you didn’t look like a creep before you definitely did now. 

You were so busy mentally assaulting yourself that you didn’t notice the redhead sauntering her way to you and sit on the empty barstool next to you. 

“Well if it isn’t Nancy Drew.” 

You turn your head and see Natasha there beside you. Her hair was shoulder length and no longer blue. Now her hair was it’s natural elegant red color, her blue eyes sharper than you remember as well as her cheekbones. You noticed hints of tattoos peeking out from the collar and sleeve of her leather coat. 

“You never did return that book.” 

You both couldn’t help the laugh that erupted. Even though it’s been years somehow it almost feels like no time has passed. 

Almost. 

“So what’ve you been up to?” Natasha asked, “still into books?”

“Uh yeah,” You confirm, “I actually own a bookshop back home.” 

You see Natasha smile from ear to ear before taking a sip of what was your beer now it seems to be adopted by Natasha. 

“That’s so you,” Natasha said before taking another sip from the beer bottle. 

“Well what about you?” You ask, “what have you been up to?” 

You could see the hesitancy in Natasha’s face, just as she was about to answer, however you see a light brown haired male come up beside her. 

“Hey Nat, I hate to interrupt but we got a Budapest situation over here.” Natasha swerved her attention to where he pointed at the blonde who was obviously drunk off her ass putting a six foot tall man into a choke hold. Which you had to admire and be impressed at. 

“I guess that’s my cue Nancy Drew,” Natasha said as she took one last sip from the beer bottle before abandoning it. As she was making her way through the crowd but before she got too far you saw her turn around. 

“What was the name of your bookstore again, Nancy Drew?!” She yelled over the crowd. 

“Oh-um- Summertime Stories!” You call out, you catch a glimpse of something in her eyes before it disappears. 

“I’ll see ya soon Nancy Drew!”  

Oh how right she was.

[multifandomfanficss]

Perfect

Doctor x Reader (Platonic!Jack x Reader)

Prompt: When on an adventure with the Doctor and Jack the reader is attacked by an alien called a Psyfon, a race with psychic abilities who feed off of emotions. The reader gets stuck in their perfect dream realm and the Doctor has to save them before they die in there.

Warnings: Dead family members.

A/N: Pretty much any Doctor can be used, but I mostly thought of 10 and 11 while writing it. The aliens were inspired by the Djinn from Supernatural. I was also inspired by Doctor Who: The Infinite Quest a little bit so if you’re a fan of the main series you should totally check that out. Also please let me know if I made an error in pronouns. I tried to make the reader gender neutral so everyone could relate. 

You had been traveling with the Doctor for a while now and had run into Jack not long after you met him. When you first met Jack, an old friend of the Doctor’s, you didn’t believe him when he said he had known the Doctor for over a century. Judging by his earthly appearance and his age there was no way this could be true, but after watching him die you quickly learned of his immortality. 

You met the Doctor when he saved you from the Cybermen. Sadly he couldn’t save your family from such a terrible fate, but he got you out just in time. Ever since then they had been your biggest fear. Jack and the Doctor had lived for so long they both knew what it was like to lose the people they cared for most...nobody knew better than the Doctor. They helped you get through the pain that came after such a big loss. The Doctor would often hear crying coming from your room during your early nights on the TARDIS when he sat up late in the console room and he would be at your side in seconds to comfort you. He was always there for you no matter what. You wouldn’t have gotten to this point without him. By now the nightmares had gone away, mostly, and the scars had stopped bleeding, but they were still there. They would always be there. This history was a part of you forever, your history, and you were just lucky enough to have the Doctor in it. If you’re being completely honest with yourself you had grown a little bit of a crush on the Doctor. I mean who wouldn’t? He’s the Doctor. You loved him, but you would never tell him. You were happy living with his ignorance. Life was better in the bliss of your friendship. 

It had been just a normal adventure with your two best friends, Jack and the Doctor, but then again nothing was ever really normal with them. You were separated from your boys as your ran down a long dark corridor. Your shoes slapped against the cold, hard pavement as you rounded the corner. When you looked behind you there seemed to be nothing chasing you anymore. You stopped to catch your breath. 

The three of you had been investigating a series of psychic attacks that were leaving people brain dead and full of a strange blue goo. You weren’t sure what kind of alien could do such a thing, but you knew you had to find out. 

“(Y/N)?!” I hear Jack yell in a hushed tone. His voice echos throughout the empty building. You turn to look for him when you start to hear ringing in your ears and a giant pounding in your head. You feel your eyes close as your body hits the ground. 

THIRD PERSON POV

Jack stood next to (Y/N)’s body with his gun aimed at the monster while the Doctor crouched down to check their pulse. 

“You better hope they’re still alive!” Jack said as he shoved his big gun in the monster’s face. Usually the Doctor would object to pointing guns at people, but he was so worried about (Y/N) he didn’t have time to care about Jack’s manners. 

“What did you do to them?!” The Doctor asks standing up to look at the alien. They were from a species called Psyfons, a group of aliens who feed off the emotions of other people. 

“Don’t worry, they’re only sleeping,” the alien slurred. 

“For now,” they added. Jack hit the alien with the butt of his gun and knocked them out. The Doctor gave him a disapproving look.

“You should be happy. Knocking them out was the least I could do” Jack joked. The Doctor rolled his eyes and dropped down to (Y/N)‘s body again. Jack joined him this time. They were sweating. He placed his hand over their forehead.

“They’re burning up” Jack stated the obvious. 

“Yes, I know I-I I have to do-do this thing-“ The Doctor starts stuttering. 

“Then do it!” Jack cuts him. 

“But I can’t! I swore I’d never do it again! Not since-“ He started to get a little choked up.

“Since what?!” Jack questioned. 

“Not since Donna” The Doctor finished sadly. Jack put a hand on the Doctor’s shoulder. 

“It’s the only way to save them” Jack told him.

“It was the only way to save her too” The Doctor says sadly.

“Maybe it’ll be different this time” Jack suggests.

“We don’t know that” The Doctor says coldly as he puts his hands to (Y/N)’s head and enter’s their mind. 

(Y/N)’S POV

You wake up laying in the grass in front of your old house. You hear the sound of birds and the sun is just a little too bright for comfort, but it’s home. You take a deep breath of the fresh air. You smile, but you’re confused. You look over to see the Doctor standing in the TARDIS door. Jack is nowhere to be seen. 

“Where’s Jack?” You ask. 

“Oh, popped off to see his friends at Torchwood, I suppose” The Doctor tells you. You nod as you look back to your house. 

“And we’re home because...” You wonder.

“The Psyfon knocked you out. I figured this would be a nice, safe place to rest for a while” He reminds you. 

“And I couldn’t just rest in the TARDIS?” You ask.

“I thought this would be a nice surprise” He says. 

“What year is it?” You ask. You doubt he would be able to bring you to a time period where your family is alive, but it never hurts to ask. 

“2021” He answers.

“So they’re not here” you say sadly.

“Who’s not here?” He asks.

“My family” You say becoming more sad, but more confused by the second. How could he just forget like that? You know he’s lived for a long time, but surely he wouldn’t forget something this important to you. Would he? He gives you a confused look.

“Doctor, my family is d-“ You’re cut off by the sound of a door opening. 

“You didn’t tell us you were coming!” You hear a voice say. You stop dead in your tracks and you go white. It can’t be. 

“Mom?” You say as you turn around to see her. You run to her and engulf her in a giant hug. 

“Woah, what’s that for?” Your mother asks delighted, as you practically knock her down. 

“I just missed you. That’s all” You say as you try to hold back your tears. 

“Where is everybody?” You ask, as it suddenly dawns on you that your family is alive. 

“Your father went to go pick up your brother and sister from school” She informs you. The Doctor comes up behind you and takes your hand. He squeezes it, giving you a big smile. He is an impossible man, but you never knew he could do something like this for you. 

“Why don’t you two come in? It’s almost time for tea” Your mother invites you in. You gladly accept, of course. You watch your mother go into the kitchen as you pull the Doctor aside into the living room and hug him tightly. 

“Thank you” You tell him. That’s when you start to let go of a few tears. 

“I figured it was time to go home” He says happily. The hug lingers a little longer than usual. He just holds you. Then he places a quick kiss to your cheek, just missing your lips. Your face goes red. This is completely out of character for your relationship with the Doctor. Sure you had always wanted to be something more, but he didn’t need to know that. You didn’t want your relationship with him to change. You figure it’s best to just dance around the subject. You pull away and clear your throat. 

“So, um...how did you do it?” You ask.

“Do what?” He asks looking lovingly into your eyes. 

“Bring my family back?” You ask with a slight chuckle.

“I didn’t” He says simply. That’s when your head begins to ring again. 

“Let me in, (Y/N). That’s it.” You hear the Doctor’s voice, but his lips aren’t moving. Suddenly there is a light and the Doctor shifts uncomfortably. He cracks his neck and stretches out his arms. 

“Good thing there was a body here for me to jump into or else that could have been disastrous” He comments. You give him a confused look. 

“Oh, yes! I’m sorry (Y/N), but none of this is real” He says plainly. 

“What?” You ask. This all certainly looks and feels real. The sound of a kettle whistle comes from the kitchen. The Doctor sniffs the air. 

“Is that tea?” He asks. 

“Tea’s ready!” Your mom calls from the kitchen. 

“Doctor, you need to tell me what’s going on right now” You demand. He looks into the kitchen and makes a face.

“The Psyfon. It put you in a dream state so it could feed off your energy and emotions. You’re dying in the real world. Turning to goo” He held out the last word as he made a face of disgust and interest. He gave you a sad look as he started to put the pieces together, of where you were and who you were with. You started to feel your legs give out from underneath you. The Doctor guided you to a chair. 

“I want to stay” You say numbly. 

“(Y/N), none of this is real” He starts.

“I don’t care. I want to stay” You repeat. 

“You’ll die in here” He begins. 

“Time works differently in dreams. I could easily spend my whole life here-“ You try to rationalize it.

“You’ll never see me again” The Doctor tries. 

“There’s a version of you here-“ You try, but are cut off again. He crouches down to your level and takes hold of your hands. 

“(Y/N), none of this is real. It will never be real. Your pain balances out your beauty. There wouldn’t be one without the other and that’s what makes you human and you are SO human. This is all in your head. You will be alone in here forever. Please just come home with me. There are people there who will miss you. Come back with me, back to the TARDIS, please!” He results to begging as a last ditch effort. 

“How can I go back when everything is so perfect here? I’m perfect here. I’m not a mess. I can just be me” You start to cry. 

“You’re always perfect to me and that little bit of mess makes you human. It doesn’t lessen your beauty or your creativity or your kindness. It just adds to who you are as a person” He says, wiping away a tear.

“Please. Come home with me” He begs. You nod in response as he gives your hands a squeeze. He gives you a sad smile. You stand together and you hear the doorbell ring. 

“That must be your father. He forgot his keys again” Your mother laughs as she walks to the door. The door opens and the Doctor pushes himself in front of your as three Cybermen crash through the door. 

“DELETE” One yells, as it kills your mother. 

“NO” You scream, as the Doctor tries to keep you from running towards her.

“She isn’t real! Come on!” He yells over the sound of pounding Cybermen feet as he pulls you out the back way to the garden.

“Where’s the TARDIS?” He asks. 

“It’s on the other side of the house!” You say as you pull him around the building. You lay your eyes on the beautiful blue box as the Doctor shoves his key inside. 

“YOU WILL BE UPGRADED” The Cybermen shout. Once unlocked, you push your way through the doors to find a hollow Police Box. 

“Why is this happening?!” You cry. The Doctor places his hands on your shoulders. 

“The dream is turning into a nightmare to try to keep you here. (Y/N), come on. You have to think. What’s keeping you here?” He asks.

“My family is dead!” You cry.

“Yes, something else” He tries to think. You look at his thinking face. His beautiful thinking face and it strikes you. 

“I’m in love with you” You blurt out.

“What?!” He looks back at you with a confused look. 

“The version of you here. I think he felt the same way” You give him an embarrassed look. He lets go of a big breath. 

“Well...” He starts as he tilts his head. 

“I suppose if admitting the way I feel gets us out of here then the real me doesn’t feel very different” He finishes quickly. 

“Wait, what?!” You respond. He gives you his classic Doctor smile before the Cybermen fade. Everything fades. The world goes black. 

You wake up crying with a pounding headache in your bed in the TARDIS. The Doctor rushes in just like old times. 

“It’s okay. I’m here” The Doctor tells you as he sits on your bed and wraps his arms around you. 

“I just had the most insane dream” You start to tell him. 

“Well...” His voice fades. 

“Doctor, was that real?” You ask him. He pulls back to look at you. 

“In a sense, yes” He goes on to explain the effects the Psyfon had on you and how he went into your mind to save you. He explains how you were unconscious when you came out of the dream state and that he brought you back to your room on the TARDIS to rest.

“Where’s Jack?” You ask.

“He’s bringing the Psyfon to the Shadow Proclamation for me where they will be tried for their psychological attacks. They won’t hurt anyone anymore” He promises. After you’ve calmed down somewhat he gets up to leave the room. 

“You should get some rest” He says opening the door. 

“Wait! Doctor, do you think maybe you could stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?” You ask. 

“Of course” He responds as he awkwardly climbs into your bed and wraps his arms around you. You almost forget about your confessions until he kisses you on the cheek. 

“Goodnight, (Y/N)” He says sweetly.

“Goodnight, Doctor” You say as you drift off to sleep to the sound of his dual heartbeats. 

[bloodykora]

Wild Bouquets and Fair Rides

Hi! This is 2024 Kora editing. This is a very self indulgent fic where I talk about my life a bit so it's a bit oc/dodge. Y/N is used for yall even tho its actually me

I kinda realized there was already a carnival episode but shhh. DODGE SIMPS COME AND GET YALL JUICE!

Summary: Dodge takes reader on a date to the fair.

I'm not really sure if it's a date or not. Dodge never really specified and neither did I when I asked. I remember he seemed so hesitant when I asked him, I mean in his defense it was kind of out of nowhere. Just one day asking him if he wanted to hang out while at the cafe, in all honesty he might just stand me up. Although his texts didn't seem to indicate that he forgot about it, he planned to pick me up actually. I had always been the one to be ready a bit too soon out of excitement, I still had 5 minutes until he was supposed to be here.

I know it's like the dude's "responsibility" to get something for the date but should I have gotten him something? Maybe like chocolates or like a card? That seems kinda weird but I already broke the gender norms by asking him out, although I still have no clue on whether or not it's a date. I wouldn't be upset if we considered a date, I'd probably be more upset if we didn't. Dodge is an attractive dude and I didn't grow up with him. There's more to his story then just this town, unlike everyone else who lives here.

I see a white car approach slowly before coming to a stop in front of the house. I grab my purse and slip on my shoes, walk out the front door and close it behind me. I turn around and see Dodge get out of the car, he looked nice. I mean he always looks nice but it seems he dressed up as well. A deep v grey shirt with jeans which weren't ripped like other pairs and some converse. He seemed to have a small bouquet of flowers, they looked more handpicked then a professional bouquet though. I waved and smiled while walking up.

"Hey." Dodge said, not a hint of nervousness in his eyes. God the want to get lost in his eyes, but me staring at him is weird therefore I won't.

"Hi." I simply state, he looks down at the flowers then gestures them to me. "These are for you." He states while holding them out, his right hand rubbing at the back of his head. I take them gladly and I can feel the smile on my face. "Thank you they're lovely." Little flowers of blue and white bundled together, some purple and normal dandelions all wrapped in some twine. "I will run in and put them in some water." I say, he nods and I turn back to the house. Walking as quickly as I can back into the house, grabbing a tall glass cup, filling it and putting the flowers in. I leave them on the kitchen table but plan on taking them up to my room later then walking back out the door.

Dodge leaning against his beautiful white car looking down in thought, he hears the door close and he looks back up. I do a scurry run back to the car to keep him from waiting. He opens my door and gestures for me to get in. I happily oblige and climb into the car, it was clean unlike my other friends' cars. It was a good size, big enough to fit a few people but small enough to not feel tiny in it. I hear his door open and see one of his grasshopper legs come into the vehicle.

"I was thinking we could go the fair." He simply states while turning the car on, I throw my seat belt on. I had already been to the small annual town fair/carnival but I loved it so no harm in going again. "That sounds awesome." I say, a rush of nerves spread through my body. Thank god I chose the throw on sneakers instead of the heels I was debating about in my head. A quietness resonates throughout the space we were in, almost like we both had a bunch to say but we didn't want to scare the other.

"I know you probably get this a lot but you have a very nice car." I let out, dudes like to talk about their cars and stuff so maybe that will start something. "Thanks, it took some time to patch her up when I got her." He replies, his eyes concentrated on the road. "Do you have a name for her?" "The car?" His eyes peak over to mine for a second then returning back.

"Yeah. My nana would always name her car Betsy, no matter what. We are on Betsy #7 and I think she will be my nana's last car. Although she would always talk about wanting a BMW." "I do not have a name for her." Dodge says, a smile on his face. "Don't worry, I don't know shit about cars and I'm not good at most things but naming things is one my skills." I joke, easing the tension between us. "Really? I gotta hear some facts then."

"Well my old friend's dad had a very specific colour of paint on his car so she was Goldie. My friend has a silver beetle and she is nicknamed the bitch bug along with precious girl, but that's only for when we go through car washes." Talking about cars maybe wouldn't be as hard as I thought it would be. "Is it because the car was clean after?" "No. One time we went into the wash and right at the end the car starting rocking forward and back. There was this huge truck right behind us and we thought we were gonna die then the whole car wash turned off. It was very scary for us so every time we go into a car wash we praise the bug to make it through."

"Sounds like an exciting day." The conversation lulls again before Dodge speaks up.

"I know the fair opens in 30 minutes so we could either drive around or we could go wait in the parking lot." He says, it was intended as a question to me and what I wanted to do. "Well I like drives but I'm not the one doing it therefore, Dodge would you like to go for a drive or go straight there?" I question back. Looking at him, a small smirk on my face. "Well (y/n) you are just in luck that I also enjoy driving." I nod and smile, I haven't really been out of town since I first moved here. A new fresh start with high school, the new kid since Natalie but then Dodge came.

"Would it be alright if I turned on the radio?" Dodge asks me, looking to fill our quiet time with some tunes.

"They don't have the best music selection, I would say hook up an aux if you have one." I joke, putting my arm on the exterior of the window. Looking out into the empty fields and different barns on the country side. He turns it on and a unfamiliar tune comes on, I feel my foot naturally bounce to the beat.

"You know you're very talkative and sarcastic for someone who is friends with Heather." He states, teasing. "You're very quiet for the new kid. Most of the time they try to fit in somewhere the minute they arrive yet you didn't care for the whole year." I tease right back, pausing before speaking again.

"Besides Heather only sees the good in people unlike the rest of us, I try to be nice to her and her pals." I finish. Heather was one of the only people to actually talk to me in grade 9. I mean there were others but it was a more interrogative way to find more about me. Dodge stays quiet for a few moments. "Were you close with Natalie?" He asks, his words more cold then usual.

"No. I tend to stray away from her kind of person. Not that I think she's bad or anything, she has this vibe that I don't really trust. Like her friends are her only friends and even then she would talk about you. She was great with student council stuff though." I comment, I look back at Dodge to see his knuckles turning white with the strength of his grip.

"I love the cows out here, in all honestly I just love cows. I always see videos of them in the sun or them walking, I don't want a barn but if I could I would have a cow." Changing the subject to a more light hearted thing. "Out of all things for you to like, cows?" I nod excitedly, eyes gleaming with serotonin. "Have you seen how beautiful they are! They got such nice big eyes and their fur looks so soft!" I start and I hear Dodge chuckling beside me.

"I don't want any horse girl jokes okay! I just think they are a gift to us humans, they produce milk which makes cheese and the MOST important. Milk chocolate." I state leaning back in my seat.

"You are correct about that." He says, letting out a laugh and a happy sigh. A happy calm settles in the car, and I realize in all this time he still hasn't told a lot about himself.

"So you moved here with your mom right? I remember seeing her briefly at graduation, well that's a lie. My nana started talking with her and I got roped into it." I reveal, he nods. "Yeah, my mom and my sister." "It's cool. I mean it's cool that you're close with your mom, I know a lot of people our age who refuse to give their parents a chance." "Where are yours? Shit, I didn't mean to say it like that. It just came to my head." Dodge quickly lets out, worry in his face.

"It's okay I get it. Well, my dad's dead and I haven't spoke to my mother since grade 8. My dad's mom, my nana, took me in when I was younger." I never get used to telling the story of me. "That must have been hard, for you I mean with all the talk around town." "I didn't live here yet."

"You weren't born here?" "Nope I moved just like you." He hums in agreement. The sound of tire hitting the gravel road echoes in my ears. "I heard through the grape vine about you and Natalie." I push out, it's a lie. I heard from Heather who didn't know who else to turn to in her time of fighting with Nat. "Really?" He questions.

"Yeah. Not to push more salt into the wound but I could tell she was hiding something. Always asking the right questions and knowing where the next clue was." "Did you play?" Quickly diverting the topic of Natalie. "Absolutely not, I don't need to revisit past traumas in my life. Plus, I've been helping my nana around the house more." The conversation dies down finally, truly realizing you were both at the fair.

"Dodge do you want to do this?" I ask, looking up at all people passing by. "Why you scared of puking in front of me?" He jokes, pulling into a spot. "Not necessarily." I stop and then turn to look at him. "I don't want anyone in there to see us together and call you names because of me. I don't want that kind of torment for you, I know you might not care but people do talk a lot in this town." Dodge looks at me confused, like not aware of what I'm talking about.

"Did you ever hear about the person who punched Ray? I know it was a few years ago and you weren't here but I still hear about it from time to time." I ask him, he looks away thinking for a moment then nodding.

"One of the first days I started living here a dude came up to me and started hitting on me, I ignored him and then he got cocky. Some older dudes were with him and were teasing him too, I was in a particular mood that day. I looked at them all and then bam. Knocked him right in the jaw. Well it just so happens that Ray got popular in school and the moment he saw me, he told everyone I punched him unprovoked. A few people thought I was bad ass but as I got older I was nicknamed the bull because my temper used to get the best of me." I explain to him, his eyes widening in what seemed like anger and shock.

"I don't want to hear how you're the bull's tamer or that I gripped you by the horns. And I especially don't want you to regret today after you hear them." I finish, Dodge shakes his head and turns the car off. "Ray is a jack ass and what he did is shitty. Instead though of caring what they think, we should enjoy our night." I nod and jump out of the car, a new rush of excitement going through my body.

I wonder what we would do first, a ride or a game. Oh I could already hear the music and see some of the cheap bright lights. We make our way up to the entry booth and Dodge stops for a second, I slow my walking and turn back to look at him. "Should we buy tickets or get the bracelets." He asks, I just smile and turn back around walking up. "Hi what can I get for you today? We do have a few deals on today, tickets are 15 for 10. Bracelets are 25 for 1 but 30 for 2." The ticket lady asks me. "Hi, may I please get 2 bracelets." I ask while digging in my purse for cash, I hand over the money in exchange for the cheap plastic jewelry. I smile and wave while walking away, Dodge catches up to me.

"You didn't have to do that." He says. "Well, you have already given me flowers and took me on a drive. Now give me one of your arms." I say and he reaches his left arm out. I secure the band on him. "Now were bonded and you can't leave me." I joke, he smiles and rolls his eyes. "What would you like to start with first?" He asks me while looking around.

"Not sure however I do know that I don't want to go on the zipper." I say, head swaying to the ABBA song that was playing. "We could look around first then decide." He suggests, I nod and we both start walking again. Looking at different vendors and saying hello to the other adults that I knew.

"So tell me, why do you stop by the cafe so much?" Dodge asks. "Easy, it's a nice place, good food plus they have cute workers." The words slip out, my brain half busy with the earrings I was leaning down to look at. I look back at him and let out an embarrassed laugh. He looks away and laughs, his cheeks having a dust of pink on them. I stand back up and retreat back to him. "Dodge do you not get told how attractive you are?" I ask looking up at him, a smile on my face. "It, it happens. It's just normally from shy, blushing people and not like that." He says and I let out a dramatic gasp.

"You're telling me, the great Dodge Mason doesn't get told how pretty he is from a very loud, passionate person. Dude I gotta change that." I say and he lets out an embarrassed laugh. I back away from him and look at the ride closest to us.

"Would you make fun of me if I said I wanted to go on the carousel?" I ask while looking at the circling structure. "No but I will call you basic." He says making his way to the ride. I follow him with a smile on my face. We stand in line, me slightly grooving to the music they played over the speakers. We get ushered into the brightly lit ride. "Would you like a booth or would you prefer an animal?" Dodge asks, peering at the selection. "I think this beautiful hippo is calling to me." I say placing my hands on the water creature in front of me. Dodge walks up in front of me.

"Well I can't let you make a fool of yourself therefore I will join you. I like this tiger." He says, I shake my head while looking down. I bounce my feet a little before hopping on the seat, watching Dodge do it a lot more smoothly. He looks back at me, amusement in his face.

"Focus on yourself lover boy!" "You sure you won't fall?" "Shut up!" He chuckles and turns back, the music starts and the merry go round begins. The movement of the seat going up and down, carousel will always entertain me. A minute or so goes by and everything slows again, coming to a full stop. I climb off with a little less than grace, stumbling a bit but not falling.

"How was your ride?" I ask as we exit, watching the next kids slowly pile in. "Oh it was lovely though I felt so alone without your talking." He jokes, I watch the line empty before having a thought pop back into my mind. "Do you know what's lovely about having bracelets?" I ask looking to him.

"That we can go on any ride?"

"That and we can go on as many times as we want." Grabbing his wrist and pulling him back to the place we just left.

"There won't be any room!" He yells out, I step past small children and their parents looking for an empty animal. I pull him to a horse before climbing back up, moving as far up forward as I could go then putting my hand out for him.

"You want me to join you?" He asks and I nod, smiling. He shakes his head and looks away. "Please Dodge! I will buy you a whole funnel cake!" I bargain with him, he looks back. "Alright fine." He says before climbing on behind me. His hands resting on his lap with his leg bouncing.

"If you get scared you can always hold onto my waist." I say as it starts again. He shakes his head smiling, head looking down at his lap. I could feel his body heat on my back as we went in circles.

"Horses don't move like this." He comments.

"I know. A lot more back is involved." I say back to him, he seems to get a little closer. "Do you ride?" "Only once, before we moved. The horse's name was Tonto, a beautiful huge brown stallion. It was funny seeing small me on the back of him, I got to brush him after and clean out his feet." Happy to relay any info to the horse ridding king himself.

"Most people don't like that part." The carousel starts slowing, lights on everything getting brighter as the night started to ascend upon us. I just shrug while looking back. I feel his body press against mine as we come to a stop. He gets off and puts his hand out. I swing my leg over the horse, taking his hand and jumping off.

"Thank you, oh kind sir." "You're very welcome majesty. Now you have to get me a funnel cake." "Wow, I thought we had a moment talking about horses."

"This was a good decision." Dodge comments while taking his next bite of cake. "Agreed." Sitting in a pleasant silence while devouring the sweet in front of us both. Of course though there will always be something to ruin those moments.

"Hey Dodge!" Male voice calls out, footsteps approaching our table. I see him turn to his head to find Ray standing next to our table, a few of his goons beside him. "Ray." His tone in non-chalant, like he couldn't give a damn and it was kinda hot. "Just know I will be kicking your ass in joust." He pauses looking to me, eye contact made before he looks away. "I would teach you about cheating but I don't wanna upset your guard dog." He adds on, the douches behind me chuckling at that. Dodge looks to me before looking back.

"What got nothing to say?" Ray says before looking back to the dudes behind him.

"I think I have an appetite for balls tonight Dodge. Although Ray seems to be lacking any." I say before letting out a deep, growling bark at them. "Better run before I break my chain."

"Fucking psycho." Ray grunts while walking away from us. I go back to enjoying my dessert.

"So it really does happen often." Dodge says, I look up at him before shoving my knife into his strawberry cake. "Give me some, strawberry pairs nice with chocolate." He scoffs at me. "How dare you. I take you out and this is how you repay me." I shrug and shove the bite into my mouth. Chewing a bit before letting out an mmm sound. He grabs his fork and stabs my plate.

"OI! No, this is not how it works sir." I yell while trying to swat his hand away. We quickly finish up then return to looking around, trying to decide whether or not to play any of the games.

"How good is your aim?" Dodge asks while looking at a booth. "Pretty good, why?" He walks up to one with targets and plastic guns on the table. "Hey there! Would you guys like to play?" The attendee, Dodge nods and hands them cash. They explain how to play and that we each gets 3 "bullets", in reality they were sticks with suction cups on the end. Dodge goes first, landing the first one pretty close to the center, the second one bouncing off the wall and the third hitting to the right of the bulls eye. Then he hands the toy gun to me. I fuck up the first one, graze the bulls eye with the second and the third right off center.

"You're a better shot then I thought." Dodge says while I put the weapon down and walk away.

"This calls for an actual match." Dragging him off to another booth. I pay for us and the worker tells us how to play. Simply knock down as many ducks as you can, knock them all down and get a prize, count how many you knock down.

"No cheating, this is a fair game." I say putting my hand out and he shakes it. The game starts, having shit aim at first then hitting almost every one until there was none left.

"Wow I'm impressed, all of them have been shot down!" The worker announces before handing me a polar bear stuffie. "How many did you hit?" I ask Dodge, he sighs before answering. "23." A smile erupts on my face. "27." I say while handing him the soft plushie. "I won this for you." I say, he grabs it from me. "What should it be named?" He questions, we stroll again side by side. "I'm not sure, he's your bear."

"Mm how about Beary?" "Oh Dodge, that's beautiful." I reply, letting out a small laugh. I see a group of disappointed kids walking away from one of the games. "Some of these are rigged, even if you were the best at them you would still lose." I say, then point at one. "I heard that one moves the pole near the end while you're hanging on." Dodge looks to me and then at where I was pointing.

"I bet I could do it." He says, chest puffed out. "Oh really?" "Yeah, what's hard about just hanging on?" I scoff at him.

I take the bear from his hand and Dodge walks up to the man running it. I watch him wipe his hands on his shirt then jump up to the bar. He moves a bit then relaxes into it, the countdown begins. His head facing down, seeming like he was concentrating. I sway back and forth to the music in the background. His shirt rode up just a little bit, I mean I know I shouldn't think about it but he is very attractive.

He seemed to upper body strength too, it wasn't like Ray's who was built like a huge boulder. Dodge was the sneaky one who was strong but didn't look it unless you really tried. Although I should have known this by when he literally pulled himself back up on the shitty tower in one of the challenges. My face heats up a little, 15 seconds left and he wasn't even breaking a sweat. I let my eyes wonder one last time before he drops down, winning the challenge. The man running it hands him a prize and he walks back up to me chest up.

"Your pride is showing." I say giving him back the bear. "Is that jealousy I sense?" He asks, laughing at me. I shake my head and wave him off. "Maybe I was just imagining the red on your cheeks huh?" He teases following me to wherever I was going. He goes in front of me and offers the prize.

"I won this just for you." A green little frog plush in his hands, I take it. "I think I will name him Bradley." I state, holding him close to my chest. We get some cheese fries to snack, I bop to the music overplaying. "You do that a lot." Dodge comments while taking a fry.

"I like music, it's nice on the ears." The last minute of the song beginning and Dodge scampers off to a nearby booth. He comes back as the song begins to fade out. "Why do you have a fan?" "I got it for you." It was black with gold accents, it was quite pretty. "Why did you buy me a fan?" I question, he takes the fries out of my hands and places them on a nearby table.

"Because were going to dance." He states while taking my hand, I stop while shaking my head. "No Dodge, I can't dance. At least not in this way, my brother in law literally makes fun of how nervous I get while doing it." I say trying to pry my hand away.

"You'll be fine, you've got me as your partner." He says calmly, eyes looking down at mine. The familiar notes of Hungry Eyes coming on. His hand gently going around my waist, mine going up to his shoulder, the other intertwined with his. I look down at my feet, matching to his that were just slowly stepping from side to side.

"You know you're supposed to look at your date when doing this." He chuckles out, I whip my head back up to his. "You wanna lose a foot?" I say back. "Wouldn't be the worst way to lose it." He says, eyes looking in mine. "Why the fan?" "Saw it in a movie my sister was watching." My feet naturally fall in sync with his and we evolve from more than just a sway.

"There you go, you got it." He whispers to me, a shot of nerves goes through my body along with a blush.

"I'm gonna push for a spin now." He said, he lets go of my waist and puts space between our bodies. I go under our arms and pull back from him while still holding his hand then reunite with him and place my hand back on his shoulder.

"I think your brother in law is wrong."

"I know he is." The song comes to a slow and so do we, staying close to each other for a few seconds before pulling away. Hands still holding each others, returning to out belongings. It had gotten dark by now, lights of the attractions filling the sky.

"It's getting late." He says looking at me. "It indeed is, how about one more ride and then you can drive me back?" I ask him. "Sounds like a plan." I knew exactly what I wanted to go on and lead Dodge straight there.

"The ferris wheel?" I nod while getting comfy in the seat we were buckled into. Frog on my lap and the bear in his. We start slowly going up and I reach for Dodge's hand. "I'm kinda horrified of heights." I state. "Why this ride then?" "I have to rationalize it, how likely is it to break? It's not that I'm scared of heights or falling, it's the pain that I would face if I did get hurt. If I go through it enough then I won't be scared anymore." I say while looking over the town, hand grasping his tightly.

"That's an interesting way to face it." We stop at the top and I look up into the stars. "You can see the stars so clearly." "Did you live in a city before?" "A very small one, I could see them but they're always so bright along with the moon out here."

We begin to descend back to the ground, anxiety in my body slowing calming back down. Climbing out of the seat and making way back to his car. The ride was pretty quiet, not an awkward, weird one though it was the calm warmth one. Like all your talking had been used up and it's just nice to be with each other.

The house appears in my sight and a twinge of sadness comes up in my heart. I would have to say goodbye. He slows out in front, the kitchen light still on.

"Let me walk you to your door." He says quietly, getting out of the car with me. He walks beside me up to the front door, we stop at the door. "Thank you for hanging out with me today Dodge." I say looking up at him smiling. "Thank you for inviting me." He says quietly looking down, I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, he wanted something but he wouldn't say what.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks, his voice so low that I almost missed it. I nod and he leans down to me. Eyes closing and lips meeting, soft and simple, yet my heart exploded in my chest. The remains of cheese fries and sugar on his mouth, we separate looking into each others' eyes.

"You be safe taking Beary, Holly and yourself home okay?" I say, he looks at me confused. I look to the road at where his vehicle stood. "Told you I would name your car." Looking back at him, he smiles. "You have a good night (y/n)." He says and he slowly walks back to his car as I open the front door.

[blueprint-han]

desert rose — yang jeongin.

↪ “ Because love and a red rose could never be truly hid. ”

— “ You’d have never thought that one incident would’ve enlightened you of how much in love you were with your childhood best friend, but it turns out to be more of a problem when you’re threatened with a life-ending disease with no cure whatsoever. Or so you thought. ”

pairing: jeongin x reader

genre: hanahaki au; fluff, angst with a happy ending.

⇥ warnings: hanahaki disease, mentions of blood (not very graphic but enough that it’s tagged), lots of angst, also in this world the hanahaki surgery isn’t discovered yet, because it’s a fairly recent discovery, also y/n’s dad is nowhere mentioned in this fic idk take it as you like but i imagined him to pass away when y/n was 12 for some reason :((, please do not read if you triggered by topics of death or blood or disease! These themes will be prevalent though not in super explicit detail, they are still there. If I missed a warning, let me know. <3

word count: 11.09 K

type: long one-shot.

⇥ disclaimer: this fiction does not represent the activities of the real Yang Jeongin, nor is associated with JYPE in any form. Events are pure fiction. ♡

part of: the @bystay​ skznta event, written for @stayndays​ !!

song: inspired from Desert Rose by Lolo Zouaï <3 No relation to the fic but it did inspire the ~vibes~.

↯ note: I’m gonna be honest this tired me out so much that I’m glad I finished it, it took me longer than I expected and it got longer than I expected, but nonetheless, here you go shayna! Hi!! It’s me! Your secret santa! Sorry I couldn’t send you that many asks because my uni is a bitch™, and I wish I could’ve made this better, but I guess this will have to do for now. I hope you like it, and I loved being your santa! 🥺 I hope we can interact more in the future, and this isn’t edited so pls go easy on me （＞人＜；）eiury2y4er okay happy reading! <3 love you shayna! <3 I wish I could give this more editing time :( but... i hope u still like it!  ⇥ dawn.☀️

Jeongin’s eyes are really pretty.

The first time you'd made this miniscule observation was during your summer vacation road trip when the sun shined a tad bit overly bright, and Jeongin’s umbrella had a hole in it. The exact details of how it ended up torn don’t matter, but the way Jeongin’s eyes seemed to shimmer in the harsh noon sun almost made it seem worth it.

You remember it clearly — He’d smiled brightly when his eyes met yours, eyes crinkling into tiny little half-moons before his expression turned neutral. At that moment, you were lost into the abyss that was his midnight black orbs. They seemed to hold glimmering stars in them, ones that outshone the specks of white in the night sky.

Looking back, you didn’t think of it much, opting to shake your head off it’s daze before running to where Jeongin stood, throwing a bottle of water into his backpack and laughing at some corny jokes the rest of the group cracked.

Jeongin was a friend — a good friend. In fact, you could call him your best friend, though it had never been verbalized. You couldn’t remember exactly when or how you’d gotten closer to him — it just happened, like everything important in this world did. Like how Jeongin says “It was fate, Y/N, fate” in that old-man-philosopher voice to get you to laugh (Of course it would never work, but you’d still laugh, because anything to see him give you that bright, toothy grin and that little scrunch of his nose in acknowledgement).

The memory of how it all started  is as clear as the sky, as pure as the pigment of a rose.

“Don’t stray too far away, alright? Meet me back here in two hours.” The instructor screams, and all the students chime in with a collective “Yes, ma’am!”. 

 “Good, now go collect your flowers.”

A flower-picking expedition isn’t a common event in a school field trip, at least in your school. You’re more used to the normal visits to the ice cream factory, or the butterfly park (which, to be fair, had some pretty flowers, if only you could pick them) or another affiliated school. Nevertheless, you don’t complain, because the prospect of your school giving you a chance to collect all the pretty flowers you could spot here had you on top of the clouds.

You’re allowed to go alone or in groups of two, and of course, Jeongin has you by the arm the moment your teacher had screamed “Disperse!” at the top of her lungs (P.E teachers had a thing for screaming, apparently). Ignoring the teasing glances the other boys made towards the both of you, you set sail on your path, scanning all the bushes for any wild and unique flowers you could find.

“Oh look, there’s one!” You pointed out after a good four-minute-walk, almost stumbling in your one-inch-too-tight-shoes and ignoring Jeongin’s giggle at your antics. You beckoned him over to where you were standing and he obliged, tucking his sweater paws into his pockets before walking over to where you were staring at the pretty flower.

So, flowers. They’d always fascinated you. You’d developed said fascination ever since you were six. Something about the sheer way the petals were arranged, the various ranges of coloring — vivid, gradient, muted — the beauty of something so delicate and intricate always drew you in. You found yourself examining a flower for hours, and surprisingly, you never grew tired of it. They’d helped you through a lot when you felt particularly down, too. Perfect distraction — snuggling against Jeongin’s arm and playing with the flower he’d always pick out for every visit, surrounded by calming; almost numbing silence along with the sound of his steady breathing, maybe sometimes his heartbeat too when he’d get overly affectionate. Flowers in a way, in every way, were your escape. You loved them. 

“Hmmm.” Jeongin hummed over the sounds of the leaves susurrating and rustling on the ground, the wind enveloping you like a cold, yet oddly comfortable blanket. He fixed his round glasses over his nose, quickly flipping through his encyclopedia. No one really questioned him as to why he carried it wherever he went — but just like you, he had a vivid fascination for flowers too. It was something the both of you fit like a glove on, and you were beyond grateful to meet someone who could click with you so well.

“This is wolfsbane, we can’t pick it.” He said, shaking his head. “It’s poisonous, the whole plant is.”

“Oh…” You pouted, staring at the flower once more. You took in the sight of lush, violet petals, the way they wrapped around the centre and had almost no smell.

“Hey.” He touched your hand worriedly. “You didn’t touch them, right?”

“No, I didn’t. I know better than to touch plants without knowing what they are.”

“Good.” There you could see it again. That lovely, bright smile, one more of relief this time. When you looked into his eyes, you seemed lost — you could capture every flutter of his lashes against his cheeks, count every lustrous star that was laid in his eyes. “That’s good, the poison can be absorbed easily through your skin.”

“Yeah.” You let yourself smile at him, hands dropping down to fiddle with the hem of your frock. 

“Come on, I wanna get some shots for my book. Plus some flowers.” Pulling at your hand, he led you amidst the varying degrees of green and the damp smell of grass for a good distance, before halting in front of a bush. You knew what he’s referencing to by ‘shots’. The camera that hangs around his back, ready to immortalize the memory into his SD card, or rather make a polaroid (or a painting, if he’s being artistic) and tape it to his notebook along with the pressed flower.

“Look!”

Trip a step back, and you yelp at the sudden intrusion to your pace, pouting at Jeongin before looking in the direction he had his eyes fixated on. “Roses.” You giggle, kneeling in front of the bush and hissing when you feel the damp coldness of the grassy floor seep into your knees. “They’re pretty.” 

You can barely hear the sound of students walking past you — the moment seems almost captivating — nothing heard, nothing felt except the whirring of the wind, and the fresh smell of various plants mixed together, it carries.

This part of the garden seems particularly shady and cool, and some of the roses haven’t bloomed yet. A few rosebuds, a few half-bloomed roses, and two fully bloomed, deep red roses, sitting nicely against the green foliage.

Jeongin kneels before you, and you turn to smile at him, chortling at the way his glasses are about to fall over his nose again. You ruffle his black hair gently before fixing the glasses up his nose. 

“You might wanna get a chain attached to that thing. You know those strings that go around your neck and to your glasses to hold them in place?”

Jeongin chuckles. “It’s alright. I don’t like my glasses anyways.”

“Whyyy…?” You whine, poking his arm playfully before directing your focus back on the rose. “You look so adorable with them.”

Your friend feels a smile tug at his lips, leaning in to pinch your cheeks lightly. “You’re adorable.” He says, before focusing on the rose, (thankfully) oblivious to the way your cheeks feel warm after his action.

“Here, let me pick them out and then we can press them into our journals.” Yes. The both of you have matching journals, owing to your near obsession with flowers. You oft share them with each other and get fascinated by how the other views the flower, how they delicately craft words into how the little gift of nature meant to them. It’s a heartwarming tradition — one of the main reasons you follow it till date. 

Jeongin pulls out a pair of scissors from his satchel, and albeit with a lot of force (and the adorable nose scrunch™, manages to cut off a decent amount of stem with the fully bloomed flower, carefully bringing it to his nose to smell it before doing the same to the other one. And all the while, you silently watch.

“Here, this one is more fresh.” It’s so surprising how he can just say that by looking at the flower. Then again, you know him better than anyone, so it’s not surprising at all. He looks at you with dreamy, fluttering eyes and that precious smile on his face, his hair falling perfectly on his forehead. You want to reach out and fix the stray hairs back into position, but you hold back, swallowing the lump in your throat when you look into his pretty, pretty eyes. Trying your damnedest to not get mesmerized, lost in them once again.

It doesn’t seem like a very, very special moment. And to you at that time, it wasn’t special. You simply ignored the heat that crept up your face at his silent gesture, nodding sporadically and ignoring the way you tensed up more when your fingers touched, barely.

Your heart suddenly thumped against your chest with renewed vigour, and you could tell Jeongin was close to noticing it too. 

“T-thank you, that's very sweet.” Fixing the frills of your frock, you smooth them over before looking further and deeper into the garden.

“Lend me a hand, please.”

You once again, ignore the way your heart flutters at his statement, silently extending your hand and covering up your sudden emotion with a smile. His hand feels soft, warm in your hold, fingertips slightly rough from when he used to play the violin. You like it, though.

“Here.” He places the rose carefully in your palm, making sure no thorns prick the delicate skin of your palm, and you can’t help but smile at the tiny reassurance. A nod of approval and you tuck the flower away neatly into your satchel, almost like a valuable present he’d given you, oblivious to the way Jeongin’s eyes twinkled at your action, his smile beaming.

My god, who would’ve known this flower could’ve brought you so, so much trouble?

It had started simple, almost unnoticeable. Just little glances towards Jeongin when he’d come over to watch a movie, getting lost in the way his hair looked exceptionally soft to touch, silently drifting off into space as you admired him from the backseat during class — sure, you were supposed to be focusing on the lesson and taking notes, but something about the way the rim of Jeongin’s sunglasses caught the sunlight and created a lens flare effect was breathtaking to watch.

That, combined with his beauty, his personality. It was too much, too much to handle.

You found yourself waiting to get a glimpse of him, even a tiny glance of his smile would be enough to make your day — to make your heart flutter. 

He was pretty.

You suppose it’s because being Jeongin’s best friend meant you already knew about the kind and empathetic man he was — but for the love of god, you could not stop your heart from fluttering when you heard his name, let alone looked at him and his mind-numbingly pretty smile, his dazzling eyes that always seemed to keep you off the ground.

Oh my, was this love?

You didn’t believe it. You didn’t agree, couldn’t accept that this was love. Maybe it was just your way of showing appreciation for him, for everything he’d done for you? Yes. That was probably it. 

Love wasn’t something you’d experienced — how could you jump to the conclusion? 

But you couldn’t pin the feeling you were feeling to another word — though you were desperate. The way your heart beat faster around him, the way you started noticing all the tiny details that made you fall for him even more, and for what? Just because he happened to give you a fresher, more lusciously colored rose after choosing them on his own? 

Jeongin had noticed it too — it was hard not to when you’d start fiddling with your thumbs, twirling your hair, and the way heat would rush to your face when he did as little as smile at you — you’d fallen for him — and while he was ever-the-oblivious to realise the implications of your actions, he did know that something was wrong.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Jeongin asks rather dully, seeming kind of worried about your current state. You’re resting your head against his lap, but Jeongin can feel the warmth of your cheek through the thin material of his shorts — and not the regular kind. The kind of heat one would radiate when they’d either been overly flustered. Or possibly a fever.

He rests a single palm against your cheek and your eyes flutter shut, and there it is again. The butterflies in your stomach, the fuzzies in your head, and the tingling that shot up to your fingertips. “Are you sick? Is that why you’re oddly quiet today? You haven’t said or eaten anything.”

“Ah, no, I’m alright.” You try to hide the dizziness in your voice, snuggling in his hold before fluttering your eyes close. Thankfully, Jeongin doesn’t question it. 

“Alright, we won’t talk about it if you don’t want to.” Even though you aren’t facing him right now, you can feel him smile in melancholy. 

“Hey Y/N?” 

“Yes?”

“You know I’m here for you, right?”

Oh, you knew.

Sometimes you wish you didn’t — maybe that would’ve prevented it from ending this way.

It’s such a common scenario — in movies, in books, in media. Two best friends falling in love with each other, confessing their love in the warm and intimate setting of the night sky, over gentle touches and lingering kisses. You’ve always had an attachment to those kinds of movies or books — because for you, that kind of love was special in it’s own way.

Those little ways the lead characters had of showing each other their undying love, those subtle acts were so special, so special in their own way. Those books had shown you how heartwarming, how vulnerable yet rigid, strong that relationship could be. It was such a pretty world to explore, to fantasize. You kind of felt that you and Jeongin were the protagonists of those books, those movies.

Except, you had no happy ending.

The books failed to show how painful it was to swallow, to digest the fact that you could be nothing more than friends. Sure, there had been some moments where the main leads would be sad, but it was nothing compared to this, this suffocation in your chest that slowly built up, day by day, minute by minute, second by second.

It was hard.

The first prick in your chest hadn’t been entirely painful. It was barely noticeable even. Simply a tiny jolt of pain when you bent forward to grab your books from your locker. It had only been a slight jab, like when you’d accidentally poke yourself in the rib with the edge of your hardcover diary while picking it up. Nothing too hard.

Then came the slight feeling of breathlessness. You found yourself unable to run a full round in P.E (when you could easily do so beforehand), having to stop in between to catch your breath. You figured it could’ve been your dust allergy because the P.E room wasn’t cleaned that often, so it made sense. Somewhat. Still sceptical, but nonetheless, you covered up your random outbursts of coughs with any and every excuse you could find when your parents questioned you about it.

It was hard, but you figured it was just a matter of winter passing by, and soon you’d be alright.

Would you, though? You couldn’t bring yourself to accept that there was in fact something wrong happening to you, pushing behind that feeling of paranoia every time with a smile on your face and a hold of your breath, wishing for the pain to ebb away.

Who would’ve thought that a sudden infatuation would have led to your demise?

Jeongin can hear the noises.

Those loud, dragged out wisps of air that you borderline struggle to take in and expel out, Jeongin can hear them.

He can feel your struggle. It’s not easy for him to look at you like this, curled up into a ball and ignoring the rampant burn in your chest. The movie isn’t even the main focus right now. Jeongin has something to say, and he’s had enough of watching you struggle. He’s rather here to persuade you to go to the fucking doctor, and get some sort of diagnosis instead of beating around the bush.

Strange. Jeongin feels oddly affectionate today, when usually you’re the one to initiate such gestures. All he wants to do is pull you into his arms and rock you back and forth until you fall asleep, because you seriously seem like you need it.

“Y/N,” he calls, watching you lift your head up from where it’s rested against your knees. You don’t reply, because right now, your throat seems like a barren desert and all you can seem to let out is a croak.

Jeongin sighs and rolls his eyes as if in deep thought, turning on the couch to face you before touching the tops of your cheeks with his hands — they seem overly feverous. 

“What’s going on?” He asks sternly.

“What d-do you mean?” You manage to get out, feeling your chest hurt more and more with each syllable that leaves past your lips in a croaked voice. It felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing your chest with the sharp edge of the knife, the burn in your throat and lungs getting too much to handle. You can’t even tear your focus from the fiery sensation to revel in the feeling of Jeongin’s soft palms cupping your cheeks.

“Y/N, you’ve been acting weird ever since the expedition.” Worry is laced throughout his tone, mixed in with a dash of sorrow to give rise to the most heartbreaking sound you’ve ever heard. Though you know otherwise, it almost seems as though Jeongin is disappointed in you.

“You’ve been getting more and more sick—” he raises a hand to stop you from contradicting his statement. You only look at him with mellow eyes, knowing that what he says is right. You’ve been ignoring your health for too long. 

You can’t help it, either. While you have an inkling of what might’ve happened, you’re too stubborn to accept it, let along your unrequited love for your best friend, who seems ever-the-oblivious.

“—and you can’t tell me it’s the winter allergy, love. I know you more than that to believe it.”

Shaking your head in dismay, you turn around to get up. You can’t be having this conversation right now, not with the faintest taste of blood lingering at the edge of your throat — you can’t be showing yourself like this in front of him — broken down, vulnerable, confused of your own feelings, having no idea of what you should be doing.

Your mother had pointed it out too, at this point. They suggested going to the doctor, and you outright refused. You didn’t want your suspicion to come to life. It couldn’t- it couldn’t be this way-

“Y/N!”

Jeongin grabs your hands to stop you in your position and turns you around.

And that’s a wrong move.

Your whole chest tightens, and the thorns that stab against your chest has never been more painful. You cry out loudly, only causing them to dig deeper into your skin and almost bleed. Jeongin’s eyes widen in shock at your sudden, unexpected reaction and only tightens his grasp on your hands.

Which again, is a very wrong move, because the following bouts of coughs that take over you shake you up from the core. Jeongin feels blanked out looking at how much you’re suffering right now, so much that he doesn’t feel the wet, yet light flutter on the back of his hand.

When Jeongin snaps back in from his momentary daze, he’s borderline horrified.

He’s convinced, completely certain that there’s nothing more terrifying, heartbreaking, scarring — he could go on and on — than what he just saw. He can almost feel his heart break into a million tiny shards, but he knows that it’s nowhere equivalent to the pain you’re going through.

Well, looks like your suspicion did come to life.

Because what Jeongin sees is, gah, he feels horrified. There’s blood dripping down your lip, staining the skin below garnet red. Your eyes are tinted pinkish-red too, most likely from the exertion that came along with the horrendous amount of coughs that took over you.

Red, red everywhere. Jeongin had previously thought of red as one of the most beautiful, and most interesting colors ever — a symbolism of love, nothing but the pure love he felt towards you.

But now, all he could think of was how much he was tormented by the mere sight of the color.

When his eyes, still blown wide in shock, trail down to his lap, the mere sight of what’s littered on it leaves him in tears.

Red petals, everywhere. All over the back of his hands, all over your lap, all over his lap.

Jeongin could probably spend ages, ages sobbing and whimpering about the sheer pain the sight in front of him brought. It tormented him beyond imagination. This should be a dream — Jeongin wants to wake up any second now, anywhere, in your lap, in his own bed, just anything to save his heart from seeing you this way.

Yet when you cough again, the pain in his heart tells otherwise.

“Y/N!” He chokes out a cry, and from there, he acts quick. He could cry about this later — he needs to find you some help, and now. 

You feel numb. As numb as you possibly can when you see the tears in Jeongin’s eyes, though your sight is clouded by your own tears. You’re numb to the blood dripping down your chin and pooling in your lap, you’re numb to the feeling of those bloody petals littered all over the couch. 

“We need to get you to the hospital, quick.” He gets up, wiping his eyes that are surprisingly, surprisingly overflowing with tears. You barely feel the handkerchief quickly wiping against your mouth, causing you to snap from your trance and look at him. The numbness doesn’t fade yet.

You doubt it ever will.

You’re not sure that the events after the incident go super quickly or as slow as a snail, and you’re not in any state to care about it either. Jeongin had called your mother when he drove you to the hospital — albeit over the sound of your repetitive and raucous coughs — and now your mom’s standing next to him outside, nervously prancing back and forth as he waits for the doctors to come out.

The hospital corridor is moderately lit — perfect setting for Jeongin’s mood right now. There’s no sound except for the occasional encounter when a nurse or doctor happens to walk past them. The hanahaki treatment section of the hospital isn’t the most crowded place — surprisingly enough, the doctors had immediately known what had happened to you.

Your mother can’t bring herself to thank Jeongin for dragging you to the hospital — she’s too paranoid. Your daughter coughing up blood and — Jeongin hadn’t mentioned it to her — flower petals over a movie night isn't the best news you’d want to receive when her friend calls you; so Jeongin understands why your mother is overly quiet.

He doesn’t try to reassure her either. It’s hard to do so when she’s gonna find out her daughter houses a wedding bouquet in her chest — and Jeongin isn’t that oblivious to not know what’s going on, especially standing in the hanahaki department of the clinic. His mother, not so much. All she can do is silently sob and mutter prayers repeatedly, hoping her daughter would be alright. Jeongin feels his heart break more when he sees your mom like this, and he knows he’s not gonna last at this rate, when he’s allowed to enter your room.

At this point, he can’t get past his own brain screaming a million different things at the same time, none of them coherent enough to make sense. He’s a mess right now — red eyes puffy and swollen, hair completely disheveled and half of his sweatshirt hanging out of where it was  neatly tucked in.

Two hands at his heart, and that’s when he notices the red rose petal stuck to the back of his hand, probably from when you’d coughed all over it. It’s fairly large in size — Jeongin examines it, in a slightly successful attempt at trying to distract from the feeling of anxiety that builds up inside bit by bit. It’s a deep, dark red color, exactly like the rose he’d given you that day, at the trip.

The boy sighs to himself before pulling the petal off his hand, eyes widening when the blood underneath it tints the skin it runs across. 

That’s when a lump forms in his throat, but he isn’t given time to cry, because soon enough, the sound of a door opening clicks through his ears, and Jeongin’s head snaps up.

He can see you from where he’s standing, and his whole world freezes in front of his eyes.

The flowers inside your chest had grown moderately large — that’s what the doctor said, at least. You’d been hiding your disease for two months, and it wasn’t until the end that Jeongin caught on — you’d been too stubborn to accept your fate. Maybe this was how it was supposed to end, after all. 

You couldn’t accept it then, but you did now. Did it seriously make a difference?

Jeongin had seen your scan, and what he saw would’ve truly been pretty, if not for the fact that these flowers could be the cause for your imminent death. The roses had almost fully bloomed — and the thorns were pricklier than ever. Jeongin could almost feel them stab against his skin, and he didn’t even have the disease. It was confusing — things were too confusing right now.

You couldn’t speak much, the painkillers you were on were making you drowsy and causing you to quickly fall asleep. Even if you weren’t asleep, it wouldn’t have made a difference.

Numbness ran through your veins. You couldn’t bring yourself to feel anything after what had happened.

Jeongin and your mother hadn’t spoken to you after the doctor had shown them your scan, and they preferred to not break the news to you either, figuring that you were pretty shaken up from the incident already.

The doctor said he could give you two weeks before the flowers filled your lungs completely and blocked your throat.

And Jeongin is devastated.

When the effect of your painkillers wear off and you open your eyes, you feel a soft sensation brushing against your thumb, slowly turning to look at your best friend — tears streaked all over his face, eyes ridden with dark circles and red and puffy, his voice sounded nasal as he silently cried, eyesight focused on the floor.

“J-Jeongin…?” You mumble past your oxygen mask, surprisingly not noticing it’s presence until right now,

He perks up at the painful call, lifting his head to gaze into your eyes. He looks worse than you look right now, if you’re to be honest. You doubt he’s even brushed his teeth or had breakfast. The hospital room is pretty dim just like the exterior, but the sunlight coming from the open window is enough to light up the whole room, enough to at least see your friend’s features clearly.

“You’re awake.” he says as a matter-of-fact and you nod, gently taking off the contraption placed against your nose. Jeongin flinches like he wants to stop you. But then freezes when you try to slowly get up.

Turns out that’s a wrong move, because you can soon feel the thorns of the garden you have in your lungs prick against your skin, making you gasp and shriek in agony. Jeongin jerks up and places a hand on your back, and the other across your stomach — and gently maneuvers you into an awkward but comfortable position, before lifting the top of the bed into a reclining position before laying you down onto it.

“Careful, love.”

Your chest tightens at the actions once again, yet you try not to cough like you did the last time. Surprisingly biting on your tongue works to rid the feeling of suffocation, or at least distracts from it.

“Where’s m-mom?”

“She went to pick up some of your essentials, plus a few clothes.”

“D-did she eat? Did you eat?”

Jeongin smiles at your concern. It’s something he’s found endearing about you — how you always seem to put others first, even though you’re in a worse situation. Though the habit isn’t healthy, Jeongin can’t seem to get over how thoughtful one would have to be to act that way all the time. You’re so innocent, so kind — you’re one of a kind, at least for him.

“What?” You chuckle, noticing Jeongin’s lingering stare on you.

Your friend only beams, taking your hand in his once again. “I forced her to eat something because of her medication, so you don’t have to worry. I ate along with her too, though the canteen’s food doesn’t taste that well.” 

A soft giggle leaves your lips and quickly morphs into a set of coughs, more petals fluttering all over your lap and hands. When Jeongin stands up to call a doctor, you lift a hand to stop him, gesturing for him to sit down.

It isn’t as intense as the first time, but there’s still a tiny bit of blood dripping from the corner of your mouth, which Jeongin quickly goes to wipe off with his thumb. You flinch at the warm touch, sighing to yourself before dropping your gaze to your lap.

“So…” You start. “What did the doctor say?”

“What?”

Jeongin seems visibly tense at your question, kind of like he was dreading it. Which he was. He knows enough about this to know that patients usually don’t like knowing, and in fact can be traumatised by knowing that their apparent death would be in two weeks.

Jeongin in fact has no idea how he’s so calm. He should be sobbing, trashing, looking for a way to hold you back. He shouldn’t be so calm.

He figures he’s just accepted fate. He’s relishing what could be his last moments with you.

You don’t reply, and Jeongin knows he’ll have to make something up.

“They said it’s just a regular allerg-”

“Jeongin.”

The boy freezes.

“Don’t lie to me.” Your voice is laid with so much pain, Jeongin wants to reach out and crush every problem you have into his fist. He wants all your sorrow and worry to dissolve, and right now, he just feels helpless. He feels powerless.

“How many days do I have left?” You ask, sniffling before wiping your tears away. “Just tell me already, Jeongin-”

Jeongin’s grip tightens against your hand as he whispers — “Two weeks.” 

The words are only let out as a soft mumble, as though Jeongin himself is questioning the statement the doctors put forth. Really, in two weeks? Would you really be gone? Would he seriously never see more of your smiles, your loving gaze, those times when you’d get overly shy of his compliments, those times when you’d silently smile at him from afar?

Was this the end?

“Two weeks.” You repeat. Your voice honestly sounds like a croaking frog, but you can’t bring yourself to care. 

“Hey Y/N…?” Jeongin hesitantly calls.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?” He puts his other hand on yours. “Two questions, actually.”

“Mhm?”

“This disease you have… hana-”

“Hanahaki.”

“Yeah, that.” A hand runs against the back of his neck and he continues. “Be honest, did you know that- that you had this disease before I found out?”

“Jeongin…” You’re about to shake your head, but then you remember the deadline. The deadline by which, you’re no longer going to be here, no longer going to be able to cuddle Jeongin during movie dates, no longer be able to even look at him from afar, or close for that matter. In other words, you didn’t want to end your days with him based on a lie.

Therefore you sigh, breathing out a ‘yes’ as your shoulders droop down.

You can hear Jeongin’s shaky sigh too.

“W-why?” He clenches your hand tightly, sadness mixing in with what you can only call disappointment. “How could you be so selfish?”

It's too late to take back those words now.

“Wh-what?” You raise your eyebrows, feeling scared at his sudden question. “Jeongin, I wanted to be sure-”

Oh who are you kidding? Jeongin and you both know that you’d hidden it because you didn’t want to accept it. It’s too late to change that now.

And Jeongin seems to know that too.

“Don’t- Y/N.” His breath morphs into sharp inhales, as though he’s downright angry at your actions — you know he has every reason to be — still, it doesn’t ease the pain in your heart. Or maybe that’s just the flowers.

“Do you think this is a joke?” His sobs grow louder in fervour, and you feel yourself break at the sight. The room is so, so quiet that you can hear his faint mumbles. You can hear the cries his heart screams in agony, letting you go is painful for him. The thought, rather the sound, only makes the plant in your heart grow further.

“Y/N- did you not think of your mother? Of me? Did you not think of what would have happened if you left us? You think it’s gonna be easy on the both of us? On everyone?” His gaze stern and his voice stable, you don’t get affected by his words, but you do understand what he means — and maybe wish that you could’ve reversed your actions.

“How could you, Y/N?” He gets up from where he’s seated beside your hospital bed. “How could you think that this would be the most appropriate action?”

Jeongin knows he’s angry. Jeongin knows you’re going through a lot. But he’s too.

He’s not angry at you, not at himself, but fate. He’s mad that this is your fate, that you have to go away so soon. He’s mad that he can’t do anything to help you, in any manner.

You don’t say a word, which only causes Jeongin to sigh — disappointedly, again — and walk to where his coat is hung against the edge of his bed, picking it off and pulling it over him in a hurry. Every cell in you wants to scream at him, apologize for what you did, but your voice feels small, almost like you can’t force it out of your throat.

He goes towards the door that leads to the corridor, stopping for a second before turning to look at you.

“Are you gonna tell me, at least, who this person is?”

“W-what?” Things are too confusing right now.

“Hanahaki comes with unrequited love, Y/N. Are you gonna tell me who didn’t return your love?”

“You didn’t” You want to say. But then again, you stay quiet, not being able to handle the intensity of the moment.

Jeongin wants for two seconds, then sighs and shakes his head. “Whatever, I guess.”

And then he leaves.

In the next week, your health goes down drastically. More of petals expelled out of your lungs, more blood dripping from between your lips, more of your mother’s horrified expression as she runs away from the room while the doctors tend to your coughs. More sobs from your mother when she thinks you’re asleep, more melancholic smiles when you’re awake.

But you feel so empty.

Every piece of you feels like it’s being ripped apart. You can’t even sit up without someone’s help, of such intensity is the pain. The pain of knowing that your love would never be returned. 

The pain of knowing that you hurt the person you loved truly.

You were put on your oxygen mask 24/7, and instructed to not take it off whatsoever. Your medication stopped taking it’s usual effect, and if anyone saw you the way you were outside the current circumstances, they’d have assumed that you haven't slept for 8 days and were going to crumble into the earth any second.

“Honey?”

You gasp at the sudden intrusion to your thoughts, turning around to see your mother, sitting next to you and holding your hand with her own. You hum as a response, clearly unable to respond more than a mere mumble.

“Did you and Jeongin fight?”

A pang of guilt floods through your nerves at the mention of your friend’s name. He’d come to visit you only once in the past week. Perhaps even he couldn’t handle the fact that your death certificate was ready to be signed soon, and was trying to not be tormented by the fact. Or perhaps he was just angry.

“W-why?” You croak.

“I convinced him to come stay here while I go pick up a fresh change of clothes, but it took me quite a bit of arguing.”

You feel sad for her. She’s clearly paranoid — you can hear it in her voice, the shake lingers throughout. Yet she holds it in, trying not to let you worry about it.

You don’t answer her question. The last thing you need is for her to get mad at you too, though you doubt it. Your mom has never been the kind to yell at you for anything — provided, you’ve never given her a reason either.

“Do you think he’s mad because I didn’t tell him about the person who didn’t return m-my l-lo-ve…?” your throat goes dry towards the end and your mother quickly hands you a glass of water. You chug it down and sigh in relief, breath still short.

“Is that person him?” Your mother questions with her gentle, soothing voice one that can make you relax on the first listen. There’s no use lying to her, you figure. She knows you too well to do that, plus, like you said, you couldn’t bring yourself to end your days with her on a lie.

“Yeah…”

“Oh sweetheart,” She brushes some of your hair off your face, sitting down again before drumming her fingers against the back of your hand gently. “I don’t think he could be mad at you.”

“But he is. Didn’t y-you see? He didn’t bother to meet me as much after our argument. He’c c-clearly mad.”

“Hmmm,” Your mother ponders. “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t?”

“Nope. I have known him for a while, dear. He’s been with you for more than five years. Maybe he’s having trouble taking this in? Just like…” Your mother stops after that, but you know the completion.

Just like her.

“I’m sorry, mom.”

You simply don’t get it. You should be scared. You should be sad and devastated that your end was going to come soon.  You should be thrashing around and crying and wailing in despair — you just don’t have  the energy to even bother about your end. It’s depressing, but you know there’s no way you could avoid the inevitable, or get your lover to return your love.

Love wasn’t supposed to be something forced, it had to happen naturally. And if Jeongin didn’t develop it naturally, you just had to learn to live with it. Or not.

“Don’t be, darling. Everyone deserves to love, just like how they deserve it back. I wish it could’ve ended differently.”

“It’s alright mom. He loves me too… just not on the way I love him.”

You sniffle as a single tear runs down your chin, though you and your mom aren’t given enough time to speak more when you hear a familiar voice at the door. 

“Hey Mrs. L/N.” Jeongin says, shrugging off his half snow-covered coat before hanging it onto the bedside. Did he seriously walk in the snow? All the way here?

“Hello, Jeongin dear.” Your mother stands up, picking her coat before moving to fish the car keys from her purse. “Thank you for watching over Y/N while I’m gone, darling.”

“It’s no problem, Mrs. L/N.”

“Oh, so formal.” Your mom chuckles, though in her despaired state. “Y/N, you get some sleep, it’s about midnight dear.” She leans over to kiss your forehead while Jeongin excuses himself to the washroom, and you nod. 

“Good night mom.”

“Good night, and don’t worry about him. He’ll talk to you eventually.”

Oh, how reassuring. “Mhm.” You smile, closing your eyes to drift into slumber before Jeongin returns, because the last thing you need right now is to feel sad and cry over how you’d hurt him.

By the time the sound of the door clicking resounds through the space, you’re already asleep.

 It’s way past midnight. Jeongin shouldn’t be up. 

Somehow, he still finds himself seated next to your bed, staring fondly at your calm features as you finally get the rest you’ve needed for the past few days. 

Oh, he wouldn’t be able to compare your sheer beauty to even that of the moon; even when you’re in such a fragile and vulnerable state. Your eyelashes are still and unmoving where they sit against your skin, your breath is calm and slightly wavering as you struggle to breathe slightly. 

His hand slips into your own gently, and his heart melts when you shift, tightening your grasp on his warm skin before falling into a slumber again.

Why was he mad in the first place? Jeongin feels dumb for acting so quickly on his emotions, especially when you’re in a bad place at the moment. He wants to wake you up and apologize, but he can’t, because you’re sound asleep — and that’s a good thing, since seep comes so scarcely to you these days.

Then, a single tear falls from his eyes. His thoughts traverse to the dream he had the previous night — you, cold, dead in his arms. Him, sobbing, trying to wake you up but you’re really gone. He can’t even hear your mother’s cries from behind him, because he’s devastated to know that you’ve left him. The dream had woken him up in a cold sweat — it was then he realised that he’d committed a mistake, and agreed to come visit you, because you had about 5 days left.

His thoughts then traverse to the conversation you had with your mother, while he was standing outside in the cold hospital corridor, curiously listening.

“Is that person him?” “Yeah…”

When he heard those words, countess, infinite thoughts crashed at his head; all at once. Nothing made any sense. The reality of the situation was dawning on him too quickly, and Jeongin was having a hard time processing it. 

You loved him? He was the person who didn’t return your love?

“Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N?” He mumbles in confusion — so much confusion, so much hurt — he wanted time to just stop for awhile and give him a fair chance to analyze the situation.

But, once all the initial thoughts were out of the way, only one question remained:

Was he the reason you were going to die?

Jeongin felt like a murderer — like he’d just stabbed you in cold blood. He knows it is’t like that — just like you’d said, love should come natural. So why did Jeongin feel so bad? WHy did he feel like he was the one at fault?

A fond smile crosses his lips when he remembers the book where you keep all your flowers safely. Who would have thought your fondness for flowers would morph into the reason for your demise?

Quiet, hushed in the midnight wind, Jeongin gently brings out the rose he’d picked from his satchel. It’s almost relieving to see a rose in it’s true glory, without scattered petals or blood covering the flower. A part of him grows sad that you won’t be able to gush over flowers together anymore, he won’t be able to see your smile anymore. It hurts him. It stabs his heart over and over again, and Jeongin is pained — almost like he’s being put to death slowly — he wants the pain to end, but only suffers and suffers.

The stem has already been cut and the thorns have been thrown out. Jeongin leans over to tuck the flower behind your ear, fingers brushing against the almost cold skin at the back of your ear before letting another tear slip from his eye, running down his cheek and falling on your palm.

A strange, oh-so-strange feeling creeps up on him. It’s like… a fluttering in his heart? Jeongin can’t quite place it — heck, he doesn’t try to make sense of it. There are more important things to look at, right now. He suddenly has the urge to pull you into his arms and gently murmur sweet words into your ear — seems odd for a situation like this, but oh well, feelings are feelings.

He pats your hand gently and smiles, before moving to sleep on the smaller bed in front of your own. Not allowed to go far, though, because your grip on his hands tighten almost immediately, and Jeongin tightens to look into your eyes, sparkly and slightly droopy from the intrusion of sleep.

“Y/N, go to-”

“Stay.” You mumble, feeling your voice choke as the petals threaten to spill out for what seems like the millionth time. Yet, you manage to spill out another, “Please?”

Jeongin feels like he’s about to cry. Your expression is so, so hopeful, he can’t bring himself to deny. He wouldn’t in the first place, because who was he to deny what could be his friend’s last wish?

A sob bubbles up his throat, but he swallows it down, smiling with melancholy before following your weak pull on his hand, genty climbing on your bed before slotting himself between you and the steel grill that prevented patients from falling down. He gently tucks his hand under you and pulls you close to himself, tensing up for a second when you wrap an arm around his own, gently rubbing on it before drifting off to sleep. You want to cherish this moment — this could be the last time before you could never see him again. Fuck your medication for making you so drowsy. Or not, because you were certain you would start crying, and that would certainly not end well.

The whole room falls silent for two seconds, and you fall asleep almost immediately. 

And then, Jeongin releases all his tears, and everything comes crashing down on him. He breaks apart.

The world was too cruel to you. He was cruel to you. He can’t believe that in less than a week, you’d be gone. Gone from earth. Flowers had lost all their beauty for him, the moment he saw you coughing them up on that couch during movie night.

He wanted to do anything. He wanted any small sign to show that you would stay with him. He was in so much pain, he couldn’t accept your fate. He wanted to grab your hand and pull you to himself, keep you close, he couldn’t let go, he couldn’t give you up, he couldn’t —

“I love you.” You mumble unconsciously in your sleep, and Jeongin loses it then and there. His throat feels dry as tears flow and flow and don’t cease no matter what. His body shakes like a sobbing child, but thankfully you’re knocked out from the effect of your medication. He hasn’t cried this hard in a while, guess there’s a first time for everything. The three words pierce his heart, and they suddenly hold more meaning than anything — Jeongin wants to hear those words on a loop; he feels strangely ecstatic when you say them.

And so, with a shaky voice and a sorrowful tone, Jeongin replies after pressing a kiss to your forehead — “I-I love you, t-too.”

His eyes flutter shut and he basks in your arms just one last time, holding you close to himself as he finally, finally finds himself at peace, next to you.

When your mother finds you both snuggled up and asleep together, a smile crosses her lips. A hopeful smile.

“Are you ready for your scan, Y/N?”

You feel oddly light today — one would say it’s because your body was close to shutting down completely, but your throat felt a bit, a tiny bit clearer and less barren than a fucking desert. Nevertheless, the scan does make you nervous. This would make clear how long the flowers would take to reach your throat — the doctor’s estimation was about three days, which seemed way too short for Jeongin.

Oh, how embarrassing it was when the nurses, all giggly and mushy-eyed, found you snuggled with Jeongin like a teddy bear at the early hours of the morning, waking you and Jeongin up and only cracking up more at your bewildered expressions when you find yourself tangled with each other.

Before the scan, Jeongin had held your hand softly, leaning down to press another kiss to your forehead. You’d shyly smiled, nodding before letting the nurse drag you to the scanning room.

The details of the scan itself aren’t important, it went pretty well — as decent as a scan could possibly go. You’re able to cooperate with your nurses pretty feasibly, you feel the sudden urge to get out of your wheelchair and try walking. Sure, you can still feel the choked feeling in your throat and the burn in your lungs, but somehow, it’s just a tiny bit lesser than usual. Maybe it’s because your painkillers are working more effectively. Maybe.

Jeongin’s waiting for you outside when you’re led out of the room, and he smiles when he sees you.

You don’t even remember what you’d said the previous night. All you remember was passing out while Jeongin was in the washroom, and then waking up to him cuddled up, warm and snug next to you. His features were clear and calm as the ocean on a sunny day, a small smile on his lips, as though he was dreaming about something happy. You hope he did, because that boy deserves the happiness.

“You seem energetic today.” Jeongin says, taking note of your perky demeanour, that only causes you to giggle slightly. 

Sure, you don’t remember the happenings of last night, but he does — and he’d promised himself to cherish every last second. Because in the end, it’s all he can do — for leading you to this state, for getting mad at you and wasting precious time in which he could’ve stayed with you. He’d promised to not let you live your last moment sad and desolated.

“I feel light, for some reason.” You mumble with a broken voice as Jeongin takes the wheelchair from the nurse, listening to what she has to say before bowing and nodding, leading you back to your room.

“What did she say?” You ask, fiddling with your thumbs.

“She said your scan results would come in an hour.” 

“Oh… alright.”

For some reason, you’re too joyous today, after the little surprise you got as soon as your eyes opened. You can’t seem to bother about the end— you want to live in this moment, right now.

When you come back to the room, Jeongin lifts you up bridal style, causing you to gasp before placing you down onto the bed. The nurse waiting there quickly fixes your IV and helps you sit into a comfortable position (though it’s hard when thorns keep pricking at your ribs) before bowing to the both of you, and leaving.

Your mother has once again left to go fix up the house, leaving you in the trust of your best friend. You aren’t complaining though, especially when Jeongin sits down beside your bed, taking your hand in his before playing with your nimble fingers — just like always.

He looks gorgeous today. After a lot of nagging from your mother, he’d used the hospital bathroom to wash his face and comb his hair neatly, and you’re happy about that because he looks fresher and happier than ever. You want him to be smiling and happy, even when you leave, because… did you need a reason? You just wanted him to be happy and content with his life.

The thought invokes an angsty feeling of melancholy, but you brush it away, trying to focus on Jeongin and the silence that drops on the both of you like a warm blanket. You smile softly at him, gently letting go of his hand before tucking a few strands of his hair behind his ear, almost melting when Jeongin’s eyes flutter close.

“Hey Jeongin?” You call, grabbing his hand once again and interlacing the fingers together.

“Yeah?”

“When I… leave,” You notice the twitch in his expression, but nonetheless, continue. “Will you bring me flowers every week?” 

You remember the red rose you’d found tucked behind your ear when you woke up — it had dried up a bit, but nonetheless, it was one of the prettiest objects you’d ever seen — even though there was a whole bouquet of them spewing out your mouth every two seconds.

“I will.” Jeongin sniffles. The thought of having to visit your grave every week to bring you flowers is immensely saddening, but Jeongin agrees anyways. He agrees, for you.

It’s the least he can do.

It’s funny how you say “leave”, like you’re going to your hometown for a month-long vacation and not actually like you’re going to be buried any time soon. Jeongin thinks it’s because you don’t want him to get too sad over his loss — a stupid thing to wish — Jeongin knows this loss is going to affect him in more ways than one.

“Jeongin, d-don’t cry…” You cup his cheek, gently brushing your thumb against his cheek and wiping away the tears that fall, one by one. Jeongin shakes his head, placing his palm on your hand and smiling at you.

“Can you do me another favor?”

“As many as you’d like Y/N.” He says. He’ll do anything you want — it’s your last wish after all.

“Bury me with my flower journal, please?” It may seem like a weird claim to bury oneself with a dusty old book, but Jeongin understands the significance — you want to hold onto those memories you made with him while writing it together, while picking flowers together and all those happy moments you exchanged.

Jeongin tries not to let his voice break again. “I will.”

You beam at his acceptance. Jeongin feels the slight thump of his heart against his chest, and a warm feeling envelopes him from inside. He’s suddenly overcome with an urge to press delicate kisses on your eyelids, though he tries to shoo it away, because it isn’t the main point of focus right now.

But soon your mother walks in, and it’s all small talk and deep conversations with her at the same time. You have breakfast, persuade (more like force) Jeongin to scarf down his meal and giggle about some random jokes thrown here and there, until the doctor comes in. Both Jeongin and your mother stand up, bowing and wishing good morning while you do too. Wish, not stand up. You’re basically tied to the bed at this point.

“Mrs L/N, I’d have had a word with you in private, but I think Miss Y/N needs to hear this too.” 

“What is it, doctor?”

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion and Jeongin’s grip on your hand tightens, thumb rubbing over your skin to soothe your obvious tension. The doctor slides the transparent, firm sheet off it’s envelope before letting the sunlight hit the back of it, in order to enable a clearer viewing.

“This is… the most unusual case I’ve ever seen, but —” He points to a junction on the scan. “The flowers have actually reduced in amount, and they've separated from the windpipe by a whole two inches. See?” He points at the edges of the lungs and at the windpipe, but you understand what he means. The flowers are there, no doubt, but it’s almost like — a whole stem of them just disappeared into thin air.

Of course this could’ve been because you coughed them up, but the coughed up flowers go instantly, or so you’ve heard. There’s confusion written on all of your faces right now.

“Is that why I was feeling lighter and easier to breathe today? Because the flowers withered off and gave more space for air?” You ask in your low voice, and your doctor nods.

“Seems like it. Do you have your previous scan?” Your mother hands it to him quickly after a great deal of fishing out of her purse.

He places the earlier scan behind the newer one, and suddenly, you can see what he means. It’s almost like they shrunk — you don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but nonetheless, you’re happy you can breathe a bit more.

“What does this mean, though?” Jeongin asks, bewildered at the strange news. The room is so quiet and the tension is thick enough to cut with a knife, and you can see both your mother and Jeongin waiting for the doctor’s words.

“It means that we’ll take another scan tomorrow, a deeper one. And check if the flowers are actually collecting somewhere else, or just disappearing. And if they are disappearing…” He trails off, and you giggle when Jeongin and your mother lean forward in anticipation, though curious yourself.

“She’ll be home by Christmas. Or even earlier, if the recovery speed is fast.”

“Y-You mean… I can be cured?” Your voice shakes with hope, and the doctor smiles sweetly at you, before nodding.

“Yes dear, you’ll be the first patient who’s walked out of this place cured from hanahaki.”

At that moment, it almost feels like every flower inside your chest wilts out — you feel so light, so ecstatic. You’re over the clouds at the news, and don’t even hear your mother’s cries of thankfulness before the doctor heads out.

“Y/N!” Jeongin exclaims, ignoring the fluttering feeling in his heart and the burn in his cheeks when he cups your own. “You’re gonna come home!”

You shake with soft sobs, and smile at Jeongin.

“I’m gonna come home.” Provided the scan tomorrow showed a positive result, but you don’t bother to mention that part.

And the next day, when your scan results come back, a huge smile adorns your face, and your mother is in tears. Happy tears.

The sunshine is overly bright today, leaving you squinting for sight, especially when you’re seated in a garden out in the open, book in one hand and the other one resting against the cool, moist grass. The air holds a musky forest scent, and you revel in the feeling of the shivers the cold air that cuts through skin brings.

The park is relatively empty for the morning — you’re glad it is, because it brings on a sense of calmness that you seem to like. The surroundings are just perfect — you don’t want anyone to disrupt your mood right now.

So yeah. The story ends that way. You recover, bit by bit, though it takes a whole bunch of time. There were times when you still had to cough out those petals, but you couldn’t be happier — it felt as though you were spitting out those vicious thorns that had tormented and threatened your life. The doctors had no idea how you’d managed to recover — but this was an interesting case to put into their portfolio, so they weren’t complaining.

And oh, you had Jeongin to help you through all of it, of course. 

It had taken you two weeks to be discharged from the hospital and be able to finally walk again, but when you did it — you felt like a whole new person, in a whole new world. Sure, you had to hold onto your mother or Jeongin wherever you went for the first week or so — it was almost like your legs had turned jelly.

When you returned home, Jeongin insisted that he take you to the garden every day, and when you complained that you couldn’t walk, he’d lifted you into his arms (bridal style, again) and carried you all the way there, and then given you a piggyback ride you all the way back home.

Eventually, you ended up telling him the truth — that the unrequited love that caused everything was because of how you’d fallen for him. You figured he deserved it, especially when he’d stuck with you the whole time without any hesitation and helped you whenever he could — he was truly one of the nicest, kindest people you’d ever met.

Of course, you were surprised when Jeongin only smiled and told you that he knew what you were talking about, and then proceeded to narrate how he’d overheard you in the hospital. Giggles left his lips when you gave him that meme-worthy look, making him shake his head before slinging and arm over his shoulder.

Surprisingly, that night ended just like the books — lovey-dovey confessions exchanged in the warm and intimate setting of the night sky, over shy smiles and lingering kisses. The both of you finally gave in to each other.

Huh, so maybe you were wrong about them — books — after all.

So when, your love was returned in the end, every flower in your chest had finally disappeared, and you couldn’t have been happier.

“You know when I brought you here I wanted you to help me pick flowers and not read a book?”

You laugh at the voice that comes from behind, closing the book shut before placing it on the side while Jeongin takes a seat beside you, hissing at the slight coldness of the grass. Ah, what a romantic scenario — green and colorful flowers as far as the eye could see, a book that you’ve been trying to finish but have never been able to because your boyfriend keeps interrupting you with his random outbursts of affection, and said person sitting right next to you.

“Well, you keep interrupting me all the time!” You chuckle, sliding a hand behind his shoulder before pulling him down to lie on your lap, and Jeongin complies. A sigh of content leaves his lips when he feels your fingers comb through his hair to rid them of any tangles — Jeongin feels stupid to not realise how much he loves you. It feels nice to call you his, feels nice to be able to say I love you, in all of it’s true meaning.

“What, I can’t cuddle my girlfriend now? Come on,” He takes your other hand in his, turning onto his back to look up at you before pressing his lips to the back of your hand. You feel the heat creep up your cheeks when he calls you his girlfriend, still not being able to take it in without growing immensely shy.

“You crybaby, fine. I’ll read the book later only because I love you and you give exceptionally nice cuddles.”

“Hmm, good.” He mumbles sleepily, eyes fluttering shut in calmness when he feels your fingers brush away any stray locks of hair that may get into his eyes. The reaction to your touch is so immediate these days, Jeongin thinks it’s a part of his routine now. Spend at least an hour admiring you in all of your happy, healthy glory.

Meanwhile, you’re sitting there, admiring his features in silence. His hair has grown longer now — Jeongin refuses to cut it no matter your endless verbalizations of how his original haircut looked better — and a small part of you has grown fond of this look too. His warm skin, and his sparkly eyes when he looks up at you, the bright, loving smile that he displays before getting out of your lap, kissing you on your lips to break you out of your focus.

The action only makes you more shy, and Jeongin laughs, cooing at your behavior before standing up, dusting his clothes off the dirt and extending his hand for you.

“Lend me a hand, will you?”

The line seems vaguely familiar and you’re overcome with a sense of deja vu, but nonetheless, you give him your hand, standing up before picking up your satchel and handing him his own.

“Now are you gonna pick a rose for me or do I have to do it myself again?” Jeongin raises an eyebrow and smirks, and you frown, slapping his arm before walking off to check all the flowers in their bushes.

“Hey, wait for me! Y/N!”

When he reaches you, he slides a hand into your own, interlacing the fingers before looking at you lovingly.

“I love you.” You both say at the same time, giggling at each other soon after — perhaps at how well you knew each other to time the confession so well.

So, this is how it ends. While you do think that things could’ve been handled differently, you’re glad that everything went the way it went, because in the end, you’d found him, he’d found you, you’d discovered your feelings together. You loved each other.

Because love and a red rose could never be truly hid.

but what if she had never recovered?

taglist: @inkidz​ @stayverse​ @districtninewriters​ @kpopscape​ @skzwritersclub​ + @sunoo-luvs​ @sleepylixie​ @rae-blogging​ @happiestgirlontheeastcoast @guerillrah​ @p2q3r4​ @baby-innie​ (Please send me an ask if you’d like to be added to my taglist!) *oh holy lord pls let this show up in the tags*

[ronnie-azumane]

Petty

Oikawa x Pregnant Reader

Heyo! Since there are almost no pregnant reader haikyuu fics to feed my baby fever, I’m here writing this self indulgent piece. For my first one, I decided to write Oikawa x Reader, because I feel like he fits the story best (which by the way, is inspired by the events that went down when my sister was born). So yeah, I hope y’all enjoy! If you want more, my asks are open! I’m always open to feeding into both my and other’s baby fever.

Pairing: Toru Oikawa x pregnant reader

Warnings: Pregnancy; birth; Cursing; Oikawa being a petty bitch, you know, the usual.

Petty is defined as, “Of little or no importance or consequence,” according to the dictionary. And according to you and all your friends, there is only one person in the world that lives up to that definition.

Your husband, Toru Oikawa.

Ever since you started dating the pretty setter, the littlest things would transform him into the petty setter. And of all times, It had to be today.

Earlier this week

The two of you were cuddling on the couch, watching some Netflix original you both stopped paying attention to a while ago. Toru held his hands over your swollen belly, rubbing occasional circles with his thumb. You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, sighing at the comforting warmth. 

“Hey, Toru, can I talk to you for a second?” You raise your head up and ask.

Oikawa hums in reply.

“So the baby’s coming soon, right?” You ask him as he nods along. “Do you think you could try to look presentable for the birth?”

Oikawa narrows his eyes and stares into your eyes, “What do you mean?” he half-asks.

“Like, for example, if I go into labor while you’re at practice, could you like, I dunno, shower? Put something on other than workout clothes?” you say. Oikawa’s glare stays glued on your face.

After a minute of the stare-down, you finally break the silence, “Look, Toru. Last appointment when you showed up all sweaty and gross, It was kinda embarrassing.”

In response, Oikawa scoots from underneath you and sits up on the couch, effectively ending the cuddle session. You wine at the lack of contact.

“You know what, I guess I can do that much,” Oikawa groans. Happily, you stand up, peck his forehead, whisper a quick ‘thank-you,’ and head to the kitchen to scoop you some ice-cream.

Oh how naïve you were to think that it would end there.

Present  

Sleep had been hard to come by tonight. You tossed and turned on your half of the bed as your husband slept soundly next to you (or as soundly he could with you moving so much next to him).

Sighing, you get up to make your way to the bathroom. Maybe a glass of water would help. Ok, it probably won’t, but it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?

After sipping down the water, you stare at your reflection in the mirror. So many friends and family reassured you that you were beautiful, but frankly, you didn’t see it. Maybe it was because they only saw the good parts of you, not the eyebags you covered up with makeup, not the endless layers of stretchmarks that littered your body. Sure, you husband still assures you that you’re beautiful, but that didn’t prevent the insecurities from rising to the surface.

“You know, little one, you’re a lot of trouble sometimes,” you sigh, rubbing your yummy up and down. The baby, in response, gives you a little kick...

…a kick straight to the bladder.

You rush to the toilet to finish your business, sighing in relief as you didn’t make too much of a mess for once. After a moment, a sudden dull pain hit your lower back. This isn’t the first time this happened, you’ve been getting this pain off and on for the past few days. It was just then when it hit.

Those were contractions. You were going into labor.

Quickly, you rush back to the bedroom to wake up Oikawa. Before shaking him awake, you glance at the analog clock sitting on the nightstand. 3:39 am. 

“Toru. Toru, wake up. Now,” You whisper harshly as you shake his lip, sleeping body. He groaned in response and turned away, sliding his head under his pillow.

“Toru. I said now. Get up,” you whisper again, shaking him even harder.

“Five more min-” Toru was interrupted by the sound of water hitting the floor.

“Toru, my water just broke, the baby is coming. Get out of bed, now.” 

Connecting the dots, Oikawa sprang up from bed.

“Ok, get the bag, I’ll be a couple minutes.” Oikawa said as he made his way to the bathroom.

You grab the bag and set it by the door. not knowing what to do until Oikawa got there you paced around the kitchen. As you walked by the counter, another contraction hit, stronger than those previous. You gripped the counter, trying to ground yourself as your body powered through the pain.

After the contraction ended you looked around to see your husband nowhere in sight. You started to wonder what was taking him so long, so you rushed back to the bedroom.

You arrive to the bedroom to find him in the midst of a shower. The steam and the strong sent of Oikawa’s tea tree shampoo filled your nostrils. Most of the time, this would be a calming sensation, but today was not the day.

“Toru, please hurry up,” You whine, sitting back down on the bed.

“I’ll be out in a minute, babe,” Oikawa sings back. For someone who is about to become a father, he seemed awfully calm, you thought.

After much longer than a minute, Oikawa came out of the shower, donning his gray bathrobe and rubbing a towel through his hair. You sigh in relief, but the sigh is cut short as another contraction rocks through your body.

However, to your surprise, Oikawa doesn’t make his way to the closet, but to the sink. He pulls out a razor and shaving cream from the cabinet.

Oh fuck no.

“Toru, what the fuck are you doing?” You ask, your voice strained from the contraction you were pushing through at the moment.

“Shaving.”

“Toru, you and both know you don’t grow facial hair.”

“I have a bit of a stubble coming through, wouldn’t want to look bad for the little one coming,” Toru replied.

It all hit at once.

“Toru, is this about the conversation we had on the couch last week?” You ask.

“What are you talking about? I just want to look my absolute best for Oikawa Jr.” it was, damn that petty bastard.

“Damnit Toru, just hurry up.”

Two contractions later, Toru finished shaving his bare face. He waltzed his way to the closet, causing you to sigh in relief, until he came out holding two different pairs of pants.

“(Y/N), what pants should I wear?” He asks. In his left hand he holds a pair of slacks, in his right, a pair of jeans.

 “Toru, I don’t give a shit as to what you wear, just hurry up so I can birth your spawn”

“Oh really? In that case, I’ll go put on my workout clothes!” Toru chirps as he skips to the closet. You groan in reply.

“Just wear the fucking jeans.” You cry out as yet another contraction rips through your body.

“Anything you say~” He replies, changing into the pair of jeans.

You sit on the bed, waiting as your husband takes his sweet time slipping his jeans on, one pant leg at a time. At this point, the contractions have gotten both longer and more frequent. Everything was progressing smoothly, given the circumstances.

“Toru Oikawa, Hurry the fuck up,” you seethed, watching your dear husband as he walked out of the closet with four different shirts.

“Which shirt should I wear? I was thinking this one, but I’m not too sure,” Oikawa held up a white polo.

“Fuck you,” you cried as another contraction hit.

“I don’t have a shirt that says ‘fuck you,’ do you think the store would have one?”

“Toru, if you don’t hurry the fuck up, I will deliver this baby right here.”

“Fine, I’ll go with the polo. Although you could have just said so,” Oikawa whined. He threw the polo onto the bed and waltzed to the closet to put away the other three. Once he finished putting away the shirts, he put on the polo, grabbed a pair of shoes, and the hospital bag. You thought he was toying with you until you heard the jingle of the car keys in his hand.

XxX

”Hello Mrs. Oikawa, lets take a peak to see how far along you are!” The nurse smiled. Already dressed in a hospital gown, you put your legs in the stirrups to allow the nurse to take a look at your progression. 

Honestly, you just wanted this examination to be over, so you could order an epidural. At this point, the contractions were frequent and painful.

“How does it look?” Your dear husband asked, only for the color to rush out of his face when he looked at the nurse.

“What’s going on?” you question, but the nurse’s face of shock doesn’t ease your nerves in the slightest.

“Well,” the nurse stutters, standing up and taking off her gloves, “everything is fine, you’re just fully dilated, I’m honestly surprised you haven’t started pushing yet.”

“W-what?” you stutter in disbelief.

“It’s baby time!” the nurse smiles as she pages the doctor to come over.

“No epidural?” you ask, afraid of the answer.

“No time!” the nurse exclaims as she readies the equipment needed to deliver and care for the freshly born baby.

Oikawa started to shiver from the death glare you were giving him. The room almost seemed to drop a couple degrees from the ice in your eyes as you stared at him.

“Thank-you for taking your time this morning. I know the baby is going to appreciate your look, Toru,” your eye twitched.

“Look, y/n, I’m so sorr-”

“Save it” you interrupt. The two of you stay there in silence until the doctor comes in.

“Alright Mrs. Oikawa, ready to push?” The doctor asked.

To Oikawa’s surprise, you clutched his hand and readied yourself for the first push.

“Let’s get this over with.”

XxX

You cooed at the little girl in your arms. Her tiny flailing limbs rested against your bare chest, with the flimsy hospital blanket covering the two of you. Oikawa stood at your bedside, doting at his two favorite princesses. He would avidly deny it, but he did shed a couple of tears whilst looking at the small baby girl.

“She’s perfect,” you whispered as you rubbed the sleeping baby’s back softly with your thumb.

“Just like her momma,” Oikawa cooed, ending his sentence with a kiss to your forehead.                 

“Wanna hold her? You haven’t done skin-to-skin yet,” you asked, for him to answer a littler too quick. After all, who could blame him; he was about to hold his baby girl for the first time.

Quickly, he shed his shirt and folded it neatly on the arm of the chair next to the hospital bed. As he prepared himself physically and mentally to hold the baby, you started to sit yourself up, reaching for the robe you had brought.

Gently, Oikawa reached out to pick up the small baby girl. She was just so tiny, about the size (if not smaller) than the volleyballs he’s used to serving across the net. Little hands with little fingers, all with little fingernails and fingerprints. He laid her on his chest, to which she snoozed away.

“y/n, she’s just so perfect,” Oikawa cried. He held one of her tiny hands between his thumb and pointer finger to examine, to which she instinctively squeezed his thumb. At that moment was when his heart melted.

“Well, I’m glad you like her,” you yawned, lying back down to catch up on some sleep. 

Oikawa’s hands have migrated from the baby’s hand to the back of her head, rubbing his thumb over her forehead. Everything was perfect. Everything was peaceful.

“Toru?” you called out for groggily.

“Yes?”

“I’m still mad at you,” you said as you drifted off to sleep. Oikawa sighed. Any punishment was worth being able to hold his little princess in his arms.

[iwillsearchtheuniverse4u]

Lingering feelings

Characters: Song Mingi (Ateez) and a female reader (first person)

Genre: very emotional fluff, suggestive

TW: body confidence issues!

Description: A boy I’d been tutoring suddenly started acting strange. Both of us having our own issues it was hard to face him but when I did...

I looked at my alarm clock. 2:45. I hadn’t gotten a good night sleep for the past three days ever since I had met up with my best friend who was telling me about all the men she had to turn down because they weren’t fit enough, smart enough, loyal enough, funny enough,...not enough. For her. But there I was drowning in my emotions every single night because noone even looked at me. I hadn’t been desired for 20 years of my existence. I hadn’t felt wanted or loved or even noticed by anyone. It was a knot that was getting bigger and bigger inside me but the whole thing had just escalated when Leia told me about her “troubles”. She was everything men desired: beautiful, thin and free. Nothing holding her back, making her think twice about the consequences while I was the complete opposite: objectively overweight, nerdy and anxious. All the movies and books I had been surrounded with since I’d been a child spoke about love stories of women like Leia. How could I ever get the love I so desperately needed?

I tossed and turned in my bed for another half an hour before deciding to give up and find refuge in another episode of a Korean drama I was trying to keep up with. Another beautiful female protagonist with the skin that looked like porcelain and the body of a supermodel deciding between two equally stunning men, one having problems with being faithful and the other with being too shy to pursue the girl. Halfway through I realized the whole thing is just making me feel even more anxious and angry so I clicked pause and lay back to bed. My tears just started flowing down my cheeks out of nowhere but I couldn’t care less about stopping them. I was alone in my dorm room and most of my roommates who slept in separate bedrooms were asleep so the sounds I made were swollen by the night...or rather by dawn.

Morning came and while I was in a state of being half asleep half still sobbing about feeling worthless my alarm went off. I could feel my lids being heavy and sticky from the teardrops that accumulated around my eyelashes but I got myself to stand up and put some clothes on. It was always a drag to pick out clothes after having a night like that, never truly feeling like your body was worthy of being displayed out in the open to people whose opinions are so important to you that you spend every waking moment being concerned about them. But I did it, I went for a pair of cropped jeans and a red t-shirt with little black hearts all over it. It matched my red converse shoes so it made me feel more put together for some reason. I had morning classes because we were reviewing materials before the exam period and I just needed to be present.

I walked through campus with my earbuds in trying to look at my phone as regularly as possible to avoid any eye contact knowing I hadn’t put any makeup on my dark circles. That combined with my greasy dirty blonde ponytail and blood-shot eyes wasn’t a sight for the world to see. When I managed to get into the faculty building my phone vibrated in my hands causing me to finally look at it in search of substance not a mere excuse for ignoring people’s gazes. I was surprised to see Mingi’s name on top of my screen. It read: Are you coming? If you don’t get an A in this course you might lose a spot as my tutor next year. ;) I was so surprised I had to stop walking and read the whole text again. Mingi had told me that he was taking some time off to visit his family in Incheon but I knew better. He wasn’t motivated to study throughout the pandemic because his mental health was deteriorating but I wasn’t the type of friend to call him out on his white lies. I had just been trying to be there for him whenever he needed me, like a silent sidekick reassuring him that life does get better. While I had never truly believed that myself, I wanted so badly to make him believe that because he was one of those innocent souls who were just to fragile for this world. Or so I thought.

I almost sprinted to the lecture room, passing groups of students like I was an obstacle course racing because Mingi’s text reminded me I was running 3 minutes late to the Globalization and Cultural Change lecture. As soon as I got to the huge hall with about 30 students in it I was relieved to notice the professor hadn’t arrived yet and started looking for the familiar smile. Mingi always smiled, even at times when his smile wasn’t genuine and you could see his eyes losing the stars from their constellations in them. It was heartbreaking to see it but you couldn’t help but smile back. But most people couldn’t understand the smiling shy boy and kept their distance. I had always felt like he didn’t want to burden people around him but it also stopped him from building strong relationships and most people don’t like to spend their energy trying to break someone’s walls. It never really bothered me but as his assigned tutor I couldn’t just turn a blind eye. It had always upset me how I could see the pain in his eyes on his worst days but he would always laugh and make jokes like it was nothing.

I finally noticed him and his shiny pearly whites with the prettiest eye smile I had ever seen on a person. He was sitting in the middle row next to the wall with his bag on the seat next to him which he immediately removed when I started walking towards him. I sat next to him and whispered: “Dude, I thought you were taking this semester off, you can’t just come back right before finals and expect me to tutor you through the whole semester worth of materials. And what about your family back in Incheon?” He giggled nervously and scratched the back of his head while his glasses slid down his nose. “They’ll be okay. I just missed... being here. And besides, even if I fail this year I can take these classes next year and then I have at least some material covered if I attend these reviewing lectures right? I do want to pass this semester though... It would be so lame to attend all the uni parties at 30 because I probably won’t graduate until then. And then where can I find an amazing tutor like you?” He laughed while my face remained dead serious. I took the liberty of adjusting his glasses, pushing them up his long thin nose with my index finger to which he flinched a bit while his eyes widened. “I’m not a magician. I can’t bring out my magic wand and copy all of my knowledge into your head. Plus, if you have other things to worry about maybe this just isn’t the right time for you to attend uni. Everyone’s lives are ran by different currents, don’t worry if yours seems to be running behind everyone else’s.” He didn’t respond, his expression unreadable. Mingi looked down at his bag and took out his laptop in silence while the professor’s heels clicked towards her desk.

We sat there listening to the recap of all of this semester’s material. I could catch a glimpse of Mingi’s face his furrowed eyebrows, trying so hard to concentrate it made me feel guilty for what I had said. I’d never wanted to make him anxious or out him like that but knowing him he must have been confused by my sudden strictness. I took notes in my paper notebook while he was quietly typing on his laptop so I quickly wrote a note on the side of my page. I’m sorry. Of course I’ll study with you. :) I lightly tapped his shoulder to which he looked up from his screen adjusting his glasses again. As our eyes met I pointed to the note. He scanned the note and only gave me a slight smile as a response before looking back at his laptop.

After the class had ended he grabbed his things and waved only a little goodbye~ to me. I was confused and worried because he had never acted that way before and I had always teased him about how I was going to stop studying with him if he didn’t try harder. But this time it was different. He didn’t talk to me after that and skipped the second class of the day so it made me worry even more. I didn’t want him to feel pushed aside or hurt by my mindless actions so I decided to skip lunch and check up on him at his dorm.

“Mingi! I’m really sorry, okay? I said something stupid that I didn’t even mean. I like tutoring you, it’s really not a problem for me. It even helps me revise everything... and I want you to do well too... I just know I will be a lot lonelier next year if you’re not going to pass. Can you just talk to me?” I said while knocking on his bedroom door because he wouldn’t open them after my first attempt. Eventually I heard a low growling sound and his bed squeaking before he opened his door with ruffled hair and a yawn. He scratched the back of his hair and blinked a few times to adjust his vision. His eyes widened with his mouth agape probably realizing he was wearing only his boxers. In a matter of seconds my eyes automatically scanned his bare upper body. The door shut closed as I tried to get my thoughts in order, covering my mouth with my hand. After a few torturing moments he said through the door: “Wait a sec, I’ll be right with you.” It took a while before I could hear him take a deep breath and opening the door inviting me inside. He was now wearing his glasses and the outfit he had worn to class earlier that day with his dark brown dyed hair slightly more presentable. I sat on his chair and he sat on the bed looking at his feet like a sad puppy. I couldn’t help but feel extremely guilty at the sight of him so I decided to explain myself again. He didn’t look up throughout my monologue but played with the material of his hoodie. After I finished he looked around the room with his lips tightly pursed. He scratched the back of his head before saying in a low voice: “It’s not that...” His eyes scanned the room, avoiding my eyes.  “Look, I would actually hate it if we stopped studying together but I know you didn’t mean it.” He finally made eye contact but had only held it for a few seconds before looking down at his hands again. I was waiting for an explanation which he didn’t deliver. “So what happened? Was it the stupid thing I said about currents?” I said annoyed. He looked up at me again. “Well, I didn’t know you could see through my lies. I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me or something. I’m just having a bit of a rough patch in my life right now but being alone or with my family didn’t really help me as much as... well... being with you.” I was left speechless, I couldn’t find the words to respond to the sudden confession.

I had no idea how much of an impact I had on his life. We’d spent a lot of time together for the first few months of the semester ever since I had been assigned to tutor him because his grades had been getting worse but I’d mostly just talked about the material and laughed at the jokes he’d make when he would be tired of studying. We’d grabbed lunch sometimes and talked about books and movies we liked or the parties we hadn’t been invited to but it never felt that deep.

I decided to sit next to him on the bed putting my hand on his shoulder and saying softly: “You really could’ve told me sooner. I could have been there for you all this time but you kept building a wall around yourself and I was too afraid to speak to you honestly because I felt like you’d close yourself even more if I told you I knew. I really wanted to help you. I still do.” He shook his head and looked up at me, both of us finding out our faces were dangerously close. I could see the faded constellations in his eyes and could almost count every one of his eyelashes. My heart rate suddenly accelerated at the sudden proximity and his furrowed eyebrows relaxed as he looked directly into my eyes. I hadn’t had a clue about how much I actually missed him, I was so lonely in all of the lecture rooms since all of my other friends were in different departments and Mingi was the only one making my uni life a little easier.

His face suddenly moved even closer to mine, our noses only a few centimeters apart. It was as if he was checking to see if I would move away. I was confused, trying to get my heart to calm down so I couldn’t control my movements. I didn’t even flinch when he turned his head to the right to softly push his lips against mine while slowly closing his eyes. I kissed him back. It wasn’t something I could control, it was more of an instinct. My hand was now gripping his shoulder while his were still in his lap. As we slowly parted I opened my eyes again seeing his cheeks had flushed red and I felt mine becoming hot too. That was my first kiss.

I left his dorm without saying anything because I couldn’t decipher my own thoughts and emotions. I was shocked. I didn’t suspect him having any romantic feelings towards me even when he’d said being with me helped him so much. I was really dumbfounded by his actions as I had never imagined that a man could see me as something more than a friend. Mingi was handsome but he wasn’t confident and loud like most guys on campus that were constantly surrounded by heaps of girls. Being quite reserved myself I thought we understood each other better because of our shy personalities never because he was attracted to me in any way. I just couldn’t believe it so I told myself the reason he kissed me was just him being flustered by the sudden upheaval of emotions.

We didn’t see eachother over the weekend and none of us had the courage to text the other so I spent the next two days overthinking my every action trying hard to focus on studying. On Monday, I walked into our lecture room for an overview of Anthropology of Media. The second I laid eyes on Mingi’s fearful expression my mind was set. I wasn’t going to let this get any further. So after class I caught his sleeve while he was hurrying down the hall to the next lecture. “I think we need to talk,” I said as I tugged on his wine red hoodie to signal to him to go with me. He followed me to the place under the stairs that people rarely used so I could be sure we were alone. But the second I looked into his eyes I couldn’t get myself to tell him what was on my mind. His eyes were brighter than ever making my heart skip more beats than just one. It was almost as if the constellations tripled over the course of the weekend. I’d never seen him this genuinely happy.

Mingi was looking at me expecting me to speak but I remained silent until he said: “If this is about the thing I did on Friday... please don’t feel pressured. I can’t make you like me back, at least not in the same way that I do.” He scratched the back of his head while looking at the floor. My eyes widened at the sudden confession. “Mingi. This isn’t about me not liking you at all... I just feel like you’re confused about your emotions. You can’t possibly make me believe that a guy like you...” I gestured at him. “..would like a girl like me?” He looked up at me with his eyebrows furrowed like he didn’t understand what I was saying. “What’s that supposed to mean? You can’t believe me that I’ve been thinking about you for the past 6 months, that I’ve been trying to find the words to tell you how I really feel? It’s really that hard to believe that I’ve fallen for the only girl who’s ever made me feel like the world is not such a shitty place to live in?” His voice cracked and he closed his eyes to stop the tears from escaping while clenching his fists. I just stood there in disbelief unable to say anything. After a few moments he spoke in a low whisper: “And please don’t tell me this is about the things you say about your body all the time. It’s complete bullsh*t. I love every inch of you. I can’t even think straight every time you touch me and the thing that happened on Friday wouldn’t have ended there if you hadn’t left so fast. I couldn’t function normally all weekend because I kept thinking about you and your body.” He was gradually getting closer to me as he spoke until he got me pinned against the wall with his right hand. Our faces were only centimeters apart when he continued: “About how you kissed me back.” His whisper was so low that even I barely kept my composure. I couldn’t deny it anymore, there was no excuse for my heart to beat as fast as it did when I felt his breath on my skin and his intense stare. The proximity of his face made my cheeks blush and when he noticed it he backed up and broke our eye contact. It was like a wolf turning back into a puppy in a matter of seconds. He looked back at the ground. I had never even imagined a sweet and gentle boy like Mingi could act this way, I guessed he must had been suppressing all of this for far too long. I took a step towards him and awkwardly tugged on his sleeve to make him look at me again. “Mingi, I like you too. I guess I’ve just never imagined for someone to like me like that and I didn’t want to get my hopes up.” Mingi’s face lit up with a smile and he suddenly wrapped his hands around me trapping me in a tight hug. “You can get your hopes up for me,” he whispered in my ear.

[brunos-beloved]

wine and cards : bruno bucciarati x reader

summary: bruno comforts a wasted y/n, unknowing that he’s the reason.

word count: 1.7k

—✧—

“Va tutto bene, y/n?” Bruno asked, a concerned look softening his normally stiffly straight posture. You’d always wondered how he managed to keep such professional composure up for so long. You yourself had never had a problem with that either, but you rarely kept one up around those you knew didn’t need it or expect it, leaving that side of you for missions or deals. But Bruno? He was capo, and a very consistent and committing one at that.

“Y-yes, grazie Bucciarati.” The stutter that formed unwillingly came from the push of a hiccup at the bottom of your throat; you’d never been a drinker...but tonight was different. Tonight you just didn’t want to think of a way to deal with what you were feeling other than that, which you hadn’t even thought of yourself, but childishly took the suggestion from Abbacchio and the bottle of wine he’d popped open for himself. 

You recalled playing cards with Narancia and Fugo, now you knew you were a confident drunk. But you could only win for so long, and you came crashing down from the high. Now things seemed to be getting fuzzy, and Narancia and Fugo’s game you’d skipped out on produced squabble that felt like nails on a chalkboard to your numbing ears. Though, this messed up state you were in, this had been exactly what you’d wanted, right? So why did you suddenly feel so much more helpless and overwhelmed than before? Every word and every noise seemed to amplify the more you thought of it, and you felt a headache coming on, along with the desperate craving to just leave. Though your body didn’t move, and your limbs just grew more tired. The high was nowhere near worth this crash, you thought, even if it did seem to null your feelings for the capo for a while.

Although you had reassured him earlier, his long black shoes never did leave your gaze that had sunken to the floor. Was he watching them play? Even raising your head had become a chore with all the noise in your head and alcohol in your system. Rather than the side profile you’d imagined, you were met with sapphire eyes, focused on you rather than the boys. 

“Is everything alright, y/n?” Bruno repeated. His striking eyes seemed sterner than the gaze you’d received last time, so your own eyes darted back to the floor rather than providing an answer. Somehow though, that and your uncomfortable expression seemed to be enough for him. He offered you a hand with such grace you wondered again just how this man managed to present himself in such a way. From his composure to his very movements Bruno was someone who just mesmerized you with anything he did. That was the very reason you’d drank bottles tonight, you could never picture yourself keeping up with him, being enough for him, being wanted by him. That is what ate you alive. But, as a soft smile formed onto his full lips and in his beautiful eyes, black bob swaying as he tilted his head towards the door, how could you say no to an exit like that?

As expected, the way off your seat and onto the balcony had been anything but graceful. Rather than being lead by only his hand, you’d found him carrying half your weight, you tried not to hang off the arm supporting you. Unbeknownst to you, Bruno truly didn’t mind the close quarters. He’d always been so careful and doting towards you according to the others, but you’d assumed that was just how he acted with most he cared about, it was just in his nature. Finally arriving at said balcony, you’d couldn’t help but gawk at the stars. 

“I thought you needed fresh air.“ He mused, the same welcoming smile upon his handsome face. You couldn’t help but stare and feel lucky. You leaned onto the railing, feeling a chill breeze run through your hair.

“I did, thank you.“ Was all you could manage, staring at the way his olive skin soaked up the moonlight and wondering what it’d feel like under your touch. Another gust of wind ran across your bare shoulders, you couldn’t help but shiver. You’re cheeks were on fire, they had been for hours but now, in front of him, they felt completely ablaze, making the ice cold feel so much harsher. His warm palm landed onto your shoulder.

“Are you cold dolcezza? We can go back if-” Your mouth ran before he could even finish. You were finally back to enjoying the night, you weren’t ready to sleep and you weren’t looking to crash with your own thoughts yet again.

“No! I want to stay with you.“ Your boldness surprised the both of you, and a silent pause followed. Immediate dread ensued, and your blurry thoughts caused you to panic and defend yourself. “We don’t get to talk often, so it’s alright if I’m cold.” Even saying that made you crave a slap to the face, your inability to think anything through made you feel foolish, yet it had gotten you to say the truth. You slapped a hand over your mouth, as if it’d move on its own, then squeezed your eyes shut to sigh and hiccup. Opening them again to look up at the man, wondering if he felt the same, if his doting nature was for you and only you, rather than just anyone. Yet in your insecure mind that seemed so reaching, so you inhaled, “I’m sorry, I-I don’t know what I’m saying, you can leave if you’d like.” You said, though you prayed he wouldn’t. 

Your drooping eyes perked back up at the sound of a dry chuckle, it wasn’t something you heard often from a man so serious and hard-working, your heart tinged at the sight, remembering the heat on your cheeks. 

You’d gotten him to laugh. 

“Why would I want to leave? We don’t get time alone like this often, didn’t you say so?” You were equally surprised by the reply you’d gotten.

“I just thought what I said sounded stupid.“ You regret freeing your mouth of your palm for even a moment, realizing that acknowledging your stupidity only points out the stupidity you were trying to conceal in the first place. Bruno looks ready to laugh again, but luckily decides to spare your pride, and send you a smile instead. For that you were grateful. 

“Not at all, I thought it was sweet.“ He adds with no strain at all, easily honest. You breath stutters, and you’re also a little more grateful for your running mouth and wine stained lips. It’s your turn to chuckle, and Bruno takes the relief in your voice as a good time to leave you temporarily, coming back with a blanket for your chilled shoulders.

Bruno wraps it around you, careful and doting just like your friends had described, and your mind drifts from his eyes to his lips. “Here you go carino, better?” His hands haven’t yet left the ends of the blanket, so you’re drawn into him quite closely. The noise inside -a mix of blaring music and the gang reacting dramatically to a card game that got surprisingly competitive- muffles and fades, you wonder if it’d be alright to close the distance. All you’d need to do is cover a few centimetres, and you’d be pressed against his chest and in his arms, your stomach flips at the thought. Meanwhile, Bruno stares down at you, equally torn about letting go of you. You tear your head away and switch your gaze to the stars, your heart strained enough. 

“The stars, they’re really beautiful tonight, no?“ You feel Bruno shift, and his grip on the fabric around you loosens, looking out into the vast and dark sky like you’d asked. He hesitantly agrees, was he just breaking out of the same daze you were? When Bruno turns his head, you feel his arms about to free you, and without thinking twice, you use the angle of his face to your advantage. You grasped his cheek, pecking the other and drawing him back in. When you pull away slightly, his cerulean eyes are on you, and you wonder whether or not it was your place. Then the swift hands that had released you are easing into your waist, and your doubt dissipates, you’d actually thought correct. You can’t tell which of you closes the distance, but his lips are pressed onto yours, and your hands pull him in even tighter by the back of his neck. Your bodies press together, and the warmth he grants you is heavenly, so much so you wonder if you were dreaming, actually passed out onto a counter somewhere. Fortunately, when your eyes flutter open you instead see Bruno Bucciarati, blue eyes looking down at you with such fondness your heart could burst. You arms go from his neck to his shoulders, relishing in the soft fabric of his black and white suit as you press your face into his chest, humming in relief. You relax at the rhythm of his heart, the both of you enjoying the silent embrace.

After such warmth and relief all at once, you feel yourself sink into a soothing fatigue, and Bruno insists on getting you to bed. You wish to wrench yourself from the party inside the moment the mayhem of loud teenagers reach your ears, Abbacchio passed out in his room from his own wine presumably. 

“Well look what the cat dragged in! And with- Oooooh!” Mista whistles at you from the couch, you stick out your tongue at him, but you can’t help but grin as you lean back into Bruno’s arms and make your way up upstairs, eager to muffle the loud voices downstairs with your bedroom door. 

Once you arrive, Bruno helps you into bed, you reassured him you hadn’t had that much to drink, but he insists. The moment you curl up into bed you already miss his touch, needily flipping over to look back at him before he leaves. Your actions surprise him, he’d swore you would be out like a light, but you’re determined to see him out it seems. So, he humors you, and presses a tender kiss to your forehead before ushering you to sleep. 

“Buonanotte, amore mio.”

—✧—

first fic on here, it’s 12:30 AM, wooooooo :0 hope y’all enjoy :)

[iamtheblondestblonde]

Missed You This Much

AN: So apparently I am a porn director now. This literally has no plot whatsoever and if my grandma were still alive I’d certainly get an earful for it buuuuuuut I thought you guys might enjoy.

Word count: 4.6k (go off)

Warnings: ALL the warnings, this is literal filth like I’m talking about unprotected sex, choking, size kink kinda, sex toys and overstimulation in a way that takes doing the dirty literal (not even gonna mention the language at this point) - obviously nsfw below the cut

- Have fun ya filthy animals (and wrap it before you tap it!) -

His hand on your back was slowly but surely becoming unbearable.

You wanted to curse the idiot that had the absolutely genius idea of having a team event the night of the boys’ return from a long trip in a way that would make every single sailor on this planet blush worse than anything your Orgasm blush from NARS could ever achieve. And you loved that blush to death.

But instead of taking your beautiful and amazing boyfriend straight to bed like you had wanted to since the day he’d left – which was 10 long days ago by the way – you had to put on a full face and bear mingling with the executives all night. More than one time you’d thought of somewhat inconspicuous ways to sneak off with your boyfriend so you could have your way with him but to your dismay nothing had worked out.

From the looks of it Mikko wasn’t doing any better. More than one time his hand had rested a bit lower on your back than what could possibly be considered acceptable in public. The back of your dress, or rather the lack thereof, had allowed him to feel you up in a way that had gotten you from 0 to 100 real quick.

Usually you weren’t one to get riled up quite like that by the simple action of his palm right above your ass but something had been in the air tonight. Perhaps it was because you hadn’t gotten to trail your hands over his glorious naked skin in way too long but something about the way his hand spanned the entire width of your lower back had you mentally panting at the mere memory of the way it had felt.

It didn’t exactly help that Mikko had stepped into the location looking like an absolute snack. All 6’4” of him were wrapped in your favorite suit and the smile that had lit up his face as soon as he had spotted you with some of the other wives and girlfriends had lit the room in a way that no chandelier could.

He’d worn the tie you’d tied for him before the trip because he still refused to do it himself even though you’d long taught him and it brought a smile to your lips that rivaled his own. Because you were in a public place there wasn’t a heated make out session to welcome him back but the way he had hugged you close after a short but sweet kiss with your face nestled against his chest in a way that wouldn’t ruin the look you had carefully curated for the night was no less affectionate.

The next hours had been nothing short of torture, you could see it on everyone’s faces. While the guys (and girls for that matter) usually didn’t mind the mingling and networking that was the norm for such events it was more than obvious that tonight no one was in the mood for it. Everyone just wanted to celebrate the successful road trip that had just come to an end, preferably in a bedroom if one were to ask you.

By the time it was finally acceptable to make an exit Mikko had practically dragged you towards the car, barely taking his time to ask where you’d even parked it. He had to slow down eventually though because you were no match to his incredibly long stride in your heels.

You’d gotten lots of smug looks on your way out – Josty, Burky and JT even going as far as to cat call the two of you in front of everyone – but you knew that it was only out of envy. Gabe had only barely managed to not say anything and that was only because Mel and him were antsy to get out of there themselves.

Sitting in the passenger seat gave you the freedom to let your thoughts wander to what was about to come, making you shudder in anticipation. Mikko noticed, of course, and his right hand immediately inched up from its usual place on your mid-thigh to the very top. You were convinced that if your dress would allow it you’d already have him where you needed him the most but unfortunately you’d only thought of the way it made your body look and not how practical it would be.

His white-knuckled tight grip on the steering wheel revealed that he himself was already further along in the timeline of the night in his mind and in the dim lighting from the interior and the passing city lights you could definitely see that he was already beginning to strain against his pants. For a minute you contemplated asking him to pull over and to just have his way with you right here in the car, it definitely wouldn’t be the first time, but you wanted to savor this night and not rush it.

Besides, no matter how big Mikko’s car was, there was just no way to actually do it in here comfortably, backseat included.

So you waited, rather less than more patient, and endured what would arguably be the most charged minutes of your life so far.

The second Mikko pulled into the designated parking spot of your shared apartment the both of you couldn’t make it to your door fast enough. In a mad dash you practically ran to the elevator and since it basically was the middle of the night neither of you gave a shit that there might actually be someone else in this building that could set a foot in the elevator. Thankfully no one did but the two of you still put on quite a show.

Mikko had you pressed against a wall, one leg pushed in between yours and hands gripping your face tightly as he practically devoured you right there in the tiny metal box. You were moaning already, so needy and touch-starved from the past few days and the racked up anticipation from the past few hours. Your hands had already managed to loosen his tie and to push his jacket off his shoulders by the time the little bell announced that you had reached your floor.

It was times like this that made you incredibly thankful for modern technology because instead of fumbling around with a key, something that would have definitely taken an amount of tries in the double digits between the two of you in your current state, you only had to hold up your key card to the scanner before the door opened and you were finally home.

Mikko had left his bags in the car, something you were grateful for right now because it allowed you to continue where you left off earlier without a hassle but you would definitely regret as soon as you had to wash his sweaty gym clothes after the delay. He didn’t even let you get a step into your apartment before pushing you up against the back of your front door while somehow kicking off his shoes at the same time.

“I’ve missed you so much, you have no idea”, he practically growled against your skin as he dropped his head to suck along your neck while simultaneously sneaking one hand around your body to find the zipper of your dress.

“Oh yeah? Ho much exactly?”, you teased back but the light tone you had intended to use was lost because of the way his lips made you whimper. He grabbed your right hand with his free one and shoved it down towards his crotch where the outline of him now fully erect was threatening to rip the seam of his pants.

“This much. Feel how hard you make me babe.”

And feel you did.

He groaned as you made contact, slowly running your nails over the fabric the way you knew drove him absolutely wild. Unfortunately you couldn’t keep doing that forever, otherwise you’d get nowhere tonight because you needed both hands to unbutton his shirt. He had located your zipper by now as well and was hurriedly pushing it down, only stepping back far enough to access it before crowding you back against the wood as he pulled the fabric down.

You stepped out of your dress, careful for it to not get caught up in your heels and immediately Mikko took the chance to explore every inch of newly exposed skin with his hands. You couldn’t let him have all the fun though because you had finally – finally – unbuttoned his shirt all the way. The city lights streaming in through the window made any additional lighting unnecessary as you took in the beautiful body of your boyfriend.

The Sistine Chapel had nothing on him and his body belonged right up there with ‘The Starry Night’ and ‘The Kiss’, every inch of creamy skin just as beautiful as anything a master of the arts could possibly create. You could get lost in his broad shoulders, and you often did, but seeing him tonight after so much time apart was truly something special.

“If you don’t do anything but stare at me real fast I’m going to spank you woman”, his voice was low and his tone revealed that he was only somewhat serious but nevertheless you took a step closer until your bodies touched again. Even with heels on he was still so much taller than you so you had to stand on your very tippy toes and pull him down towards you at the same time so you could whisper in his ear:

“We both know that I wouldn’t object to that, it wouldn’t be the first time after all.”

His groan was music to your ears and you squealed as he swiftly picked you up like you weighed nothing and wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you to the bedroom. You were closer to eye level like this and Mikko’s mouth immediately found yours as he held you close, his strong arms never once making you doubt his ability to manhandle you without incident. He would rather thro himself on the floor to cushion your fall than drop you.

Only a close to unhealthy amount of practice in this particular aspect of foreplay made your journey to the bedroom safe. The first few times had definitely resulted in a few bumps and bruises but neither you had cared at the time, too distracted with everything else going on.

What no one might suspect was the fact that your usually uncoordinated and constantly-stumbling boyfriend was anything but in all things bedroom. He had a kind of control over his body that most men could only dream of and to say you were excited to get to experience it again first-hand tonight was probably the understatement of the century.

With an air of expertise that made you think he was paid to do this instead of chasing a puck across ice he flicked on the one lamp you liked to turn on during sex because of the warm glow it created without even breaking the kiss. He was still wearing his pants and on the way here they had created some delicious friction but now he was sitting down on the edge of the bed with you still perched on his lap.

His hands had taken a hold of your ass and he was helping you to slowly grind against him, the both of you so far gone already by now.

“Did you think of me while I was gone?” While his question might sound sweet to the unknowing ear, you knew what he was playing at.

“Yes Mik, multiple times. I really tried but nothing feels as good as when you’re with me.” He knew this already because he’d gotten his fair share of pictures but you were more than happy to provide an answer.

“Oh yeah? Did you touch yourself thinking about the time we did it in the kitchen right before I left?” Even if it weren’t for his hands slowly outlining your lacy bra and barely grazing your nipples you couldn’t prevent the moan that escaped your lips at his words.

You had – in fact – thought about the way he’d taken you on the kitchen counter that faithful morning and the images that now flooded your thoughts again had you literally dripping. Mikko could feel it too, the way you were drenching his pants and underwear right now and while it was annoying that you had to take yet another suit to the dry cleaners to get rid of the stain his strangled moan was everything.

Then it was a frantic dash to rid him of his clothes as soon as possible as you both got up and you pulled down his slacks and boxers in one swoop, discarding both in some corner already forgotten.

You literally sighed at the sight of him now in his full naked glory before you, every inch of his muscular build exposed. It didn’t matter how many times you’d touched, sucked or felt his dick already, there was still always this moment of ‘oh my god’ whenever he dropped his pants. It made sense actually, Mikko was a huge guy so it shouldn’t really be a surprise that his dick was proportionate to his body but to see it in real life was something else entirely. To see it bouncing against his abdomen had your thoughts running a mile a minute and now you were more than impatient to feel full again.

It was as if he felt your anticipation but wanted to be a little shit about it because he now took his time in undressing you, dropping your bra straps at a pace that would have made a snail proud. It was sensual, of course, but you really needed him to hurry up right this second. You didn’t even know where he had suddenly found all of this self-control but you cursed whichever brain cells of his that were responsible for your misery.

An ice-age later he had finally rid you of the scrappy piece of fabric, eagerly exploring your boobs as if he hadn’t seen them over a hundred times already. He pushed you back onto the bed so you were spread out before him but when he moved to take your panties off at the same pace you finally drew the line.

“Mikko please, I just really really need you inside me. Like right now.”

He must have seen the desperation in your eyes because he finally let up, pulling your panties down at an acceptable speed and moving to hover over you. You thought you’d finally get your long-time wish but then he pulled back.

“Actually, can we try something?”, he asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Babe we can try anything you want right now as long as it means that I’ve got your dick inside of me within the next ten seconds.”

You almost thought he’d waste some of his precious given time with making a dirty joke like you knew he wanted to but instead he just moved towards your nightstand. Since you’d ditched condoms in favor of birth control a while ago and you were so dripping wet that you could probably cure the Californian drought so there really was no need for lube right now you knew there was nothing of value in those drawers, or so you thought. The same gleam was still in Mikko’s eyes when he turned back around to face you and you instantly recognized the item in his hand.

“I’ve thought about incorporating this ever since you sent me that one picture at the beginning of the trip. Needless to say I’ve had a couple of rough days behind me.”

Excitement bubbled up inside you and now the look in your eyes matched his. Mikko wasn’t one of those guys that got intimidated by sex toys and he’d even tried some of yours on you but you’d never actually used one during sex.

“I think I came up with a way how to best do this”, he mumbled as he stepped closer to you and you motioned for him to go ahead so he could show you the ropes. To your surprise he settled against the headboard of your bed, legs spread out in front of him. So far you weren’t really sure what his plan was exactly. He motioned for you to come closer and you obliged but as you moved to straddle his lap like you often did he stopped you.

“No babe, the other way.” His hands gently guided your hips and helped you straddle his thighs with your back facing his chest and your knees on either side of him. You moved to stroke him while the other hand dropped to fondle his balls but he quickly caught your wrists in his hands, effectively ceasing all movement. “Don’t please, I already won’t be able to last as long as I want to.”

With one swift movement Mikko lifted your hips off his thighs and moved you so you could align yourself and then he was finally inside you. Sinking down on him was already a feat in itself but with the change of position you could feel him reaching places that made your mind go blank. The both of you simultaneously groaned once he finally bottomed out and you took a couple of seconds to adjust to him filling you up like this.

Once his grip on your hips grew even tighter you knew you had to move or else your boyfriend would lose every ounce of self-control that was still left at this point. He gently guided you along as you slowly rotated your hips, the both of you moaning already. He took his time covering your neck and shoulders in kisses and every few seconds you could feel his teeth grazing your skin when he had to stop himself from just pounding up into you while you were still finding your groove.

“Look up babe, I want you to watch yourself”, he murmured in your ear and you slowly raised your head to meet his eyes in the mirror that was strategically placed across your bedroom. It had done you many good deeds already but tonight it was on a whole other level. This position was becoming one of your fast favorites already but to be able to watch Mikko lose himself in you was what would make this night so very memorable.

You watched his right hand pat around on the comforter before finding what he had been looking for, the silver vibe. The anticipation made you clench around him and he groaned and you wondered what it would be like once you both finally got to experience the real deal but thankfully you didn’t have to wait much longer until you’d find out.

Mikko kept the slow grinding pace that allowed him to go so incredibly deep as he switched on the vibe, it’s soft vibrations filling the room with a different kind of noise. He slowly raised it to your chest, first teasing one and then the other nipple with it while you couldn’t help the moans tumbling out of your mouth. Once he deemed the amount of attention your breasts had gotten enough for now he tapped the vibe against your lips. “Suck”, was his only command and obediently you opened your lips to wet the toy.

You tracked his movements in the mirror as he slowly dropped his hand towards where you needed it. The moment the vibe connected to your clit was honestly life changing. You immediately arched your back, trying to get more of that amazing feeling between your legs.

Mikkos left hand immediately shot up and wrapped itself around your neck, his long fingers engulfing it almost completely and effectively holding you still as he moved the vibe away.

“Oh God, Mikko more, please give me more”, you practically sobbed, begging him to continue.

“Shhh babe”, he soothed you before scooting the both of you away from the headboard a little. Then he leaned back again, his hand on your throat giving you no choice but to follow him so you were both now leaned back at an angle. With wild eyes you watched him move the vibe closer again and he obliged, placing the vibe back onto your clit while never once faltering in the agonizing but amazing pace at which he was grinding into you.

The change in angle had him grinding against your g spot and now your orgasm was coming at you with lightning speed. Mikko could tell so like the good boyfriend he was he kept doing the exact same thing while you tried to mentally prepare for the absolute tsunami that was about to crash over you.

With one last thrust from him the wave finally crested and your mind literally went blank as you thrashed in his lap, only his hand stopping you from entering a whole other dimension. It felt as if the high would never end and with the vibe still buzzing against your most sensitive part and Mikko keeping up his pace you had only barely come down when your second orgasm hit, detonating like a bomb yet again.

Mikko was moaning loudly below you, trying his best not to blow his load as your walls spasmed around him for the second time and almost failing but somehow pulling through. You had drenched his entire lap and he could feel the slow trickle of your juices down the sides of his thighs, not that he minded.

After two close orgasms like this you needed a second to regroup so you weakly pushed his hand with the vibrator away, the sensation too much now. All energy had left your body and you were a ragdoll in his lap, panting like you’d just crossed the finish line at a marathon.

“Holy fuck Y/N, that was… just wow. Do you want me to take over?”, he asked, knowing full well that you weren’t able to stay on top like this right now. You couldn’t even form any coherent sentences right now if you tried so you only nodded, allowing him to lift you off of him and set you on the mattress so only your ass was in the air.

“You look so good like this, I think about you every second when I’m gone. You’re always on my mind.”

You reached back and Mikko knew exactly what you needed, lacing your hands with his own and dropping them next to you before carefully entering you again. The first few times he’d been worried to continue after you were in your blissful post-orgasm state but you’d explained him many times that you liked being at his complete mercy like this, for him to basically use you in whichever way he wanted to.

So when he bottomed out in you once again you only led out a blissful sigh, happy to have him so close to you. He moved slow but calculated, hitting deep every time before pulling out all the way only to enter him once again. He kept this pace for a while, giving you enough time to pull yourself together a little after the mind-blowing ordeal you had just been through.

“You think you got one more in you?”, he asked, voice definitely strained from keeping this antagonizing pace for so long.

“Let’s find out.” He let go of one hand to reach for the vibe again, setting it on a lower setting than it had been before so you could ease back into it.

“Can you hold it yourself babe?” He dropped it into your hand then, moving to settle both of his hands on your hips. You shifted a little until you found a comfortable position where you could reach down and let out a content groan as soon as you felt the vibrations again. You’d thought that you would be too spent for this by now but to your surprise you were actually holding up pretty well, an orgasm just below the horizon.

Mikko slammed into you then, pulling out a little before bottoming out again on the next thrust, both of your moans far louder than the little vibrator in your hand. You arched your back as he kept up his almost brutal pace, his hands tightening with every thrust and you were sure he’d leave bruises yet again but you certainly didn’t mind with the amount of pleasure he was currently giving you.

It didn’t take long until the combination of his powerful thrusts and the vibrations on your clit had you teetering towards the edge yet again.

“Mikko I’m so close”, you panted, slightly worried that he wouldn’t hear you over the sound of everything happening right now.

“No. Not yet. Hold it back and wait for me, I want to feel you pulse around me.”

His demand was clear and yet you let out a frustrated whine because your orgasm was right there and you honestly didn’t know how much longer you could stop it from approaching.

The stutter in his thrusts gave you hope because it meant that he wasn’t far behind you either so you turned your head so you could watch him in the mirror. His bottom lip was pulled in between his teeth and his brows were slightly knit as he chased his orgasm in desperation, every muscle in his body flexed tightly.

“Fuck baby cum for me now”, he rasped out and you finally let yourself fall over the edge, loud moans tumbling out of your mouth as he thrust inside you one, two, three more times before burying himself inside you and throwing his head back in pleasure with a guttural groan. His jaw went slack as he stilled inside you, filling you up with his cum and only heightening the sensations of your own orgasm. It was as if someone had exchanged your blood for gasoline, heat racing through your entire body and leaving everything heightened and trembling.

Your legs gave out from under you and Mikko followed you down onto the mattress but careful not to crush you with his weight. For a few moments you just lay there, the both of you basking in what had just happened. You let out a content hum as he reached up to brush your hair out of your face, his soft touch in such stark contrast to his bruising grip only seconds ago.

But that was the thing about your boyfriend, he might go crazy in the bedroom sometimes – which you obviously loved – but he was still the gentle giant you had fallen in love with all those months ago. And you’d endure all the height difference jokes in the world if it meant that he would stay with you forever.

Your sweet and mushy thoughts were slowly but surely interrupted by a buzz and both Mikko and you turned towards the source of the noise, him still deep inside you but slowly softening. He picked up the small vibe that you must have carelessly discarded at some point during your orgasm and switched it off. Carefully he pulled out of you and you already missed the feeling but took his outstretched hand to help you stand nevertheless.

Mikko raised the now turned off toy towards his face before saying:

“You have been a trusty friend and we’ll definitely use you again but first this beautiful young lady and I have to shower. I hope that’s okay for you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the way he was actually having a conversation with a sex toy because it was so typical of him. And you wouldn’t have him, or this, any other way.

 AN Part 2: I 10/10 recommend trying all of the above ;)

[queenbrightwhitly]

Hi! Can I please request something?

I was thinking maybe something where Malcolm is dragged to a charity event by his mother and she re-introduces him to the reader, who Malcolm went to Harvard with and they had a little secret relationship. It ended a but badly because the reader moved counties after and they loved eachother but never said. Maybe they get talking and it’s just really cute and fluffy, until they go back to his and they make out (no smut or anything, just some soft kissing or something idk) and then they agree to go out on a date and sort of hint at them having a future relationship.

Sorry if this is a terrible idea or too specific, but it’d mean the world if you wrote this!

Lol it’s okay, specific is not so bad. I’ve never seen a Malcolm fic about Harvard. So I was excited to write it. Thank you for submitting this.

Lucky

“Here, let me help you.” Gil walked over, readjusting Malcolms tie.

“Tell me again why I’m doing this?” Malcolm sighed, running his hand though his hair. “Even without a case, I’m sure there is something that you need me for.”

“Malcolm we talked about this.” Gil stood back. “I promised Jessica you would show up this time, so you can’t skip, or I’ll get in trouble.”

Malcolms front door opened and Jessica walked inside. She was dressed in a emerald green, strapless gown, her heels echoing though his house.

“Oh Malcolm, you actually look like you’ve gotten 5 hours.” Jessica smiled, moving some hair to the side of his face. “Let’s get going, shall we?”

Once in the car Jessica continued to talk about the event. “So many lovely people for you to meet Malcolm, although not all show their true colors, but I’m sure we can find someone for you to chat with.”

The car came to a stop, a huge mansion with white gates surrounding the outside, cars came in and out, people with cameras standing right outside the gates with security holding them back.

Malcolm stepped out, walking to the other side to open his mother’s door. Taking her hand they both walked inside together. When they got inside the whole place was lite up with chandeliers, a huge ball room in the center, tables covered with white sheets, a piano player in the corner.

Malcolm sighed. “This should be fun.”

“Shush, Malcolm. I’m going to get us some drinks, try to make conversation.” Jessica walked away, leaving Malcolm standing by himself, next to a plant...

Malcolm stood there for 15mins, wondering just how long it took his mother to get two drinks, before he could go off searching, he heard her voice from behind him.

Finally

Turning around he saw Jessica with two drinks in her hand coming this way. She was laughing with someone walking beside her. Malcolm stood frozen, his eyes widened, taking in the appearance of the person beside her, she looked just as he last saw her, even better if he was being honest.

“Malcolm, I would like you to meet-“

“Y/n.” Malcolm interrupted.

She stopped in place, staring at him in surprise. “Malcolm?”

Jessica looked between the two. “Well, I’ve seen we already met. So... how exactly do you two know each other?”

Malcolm didn’t say anything, he just kept staring at her. Y/n smiled at Jessica. “We went to school together... at Harvard.”

“Oh! Wonderful! Well, pardon me, I will leave the two of you to catch up.” Jessica handed Malcolm the other drink, turning around she smiled at Y/n before wondering off.

Malcolm still hadn’t said anything, he watched her casually looking around. “You look beautiful.”

Y/n smiled, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear. “Thank you, you cleaned up very nice yourself.”

“Do you wanna go somewhere, quiet?” Malcolm asked, noticing the crowd had gotten bigger then when they first arrived.

“I would like that.”

Both of them walked around the ball room until finally coming across a flower garden outside. They walked the path, both not knowing where to start.

“How is the FBI?” Y/n asked.

“Yeah, that didn’t really work out, they didn’t like me punching a sheriff in the face. How did you know I was in the FBI?”

Y/n shrugged. “I have a few friends there, and... I guess I kinda kept up.”

Malcolm smiled. “You kept tabs on me?”

“I was worried.” She looked down, messing with the hem of her dress. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Were you?”

Y/n stopped, looking back at him. “No, not really.”

Malcolm didn’t mean to, but he smiled. He thought he might have been the only one who was hurting. Everything was so messy after the two split, all thoughts of how he could’ve done something better to make her stay.

“You never told your mom?” She asked.

Malcolm shook his head. “I never told anyone.” He looked at her for a second. “You never told anyone ether, did you?”

She smiled, shaking her head. “We made a promise.”

“Yeah, we did.” They continued walking. “How was Germany? I heard you did well teaching classes. I also saw a lot of photos on your blog, they were incredible.”

“You kept tabs on me?” Y/n teased, skipping around in her dress, her shoes clicking against the stone path.

“I missed you.”

Y/n stopped, turning around to look at Malcolm. He had his hands in his pockets, his expression holding no humor. He was smiling but it looked sad, regretful even.

When she didn’t say anything, Malcolm took that as a bad sign. Clearing his throat, he laughed awkwardly. “Sorry, that was a bit mean. I know this was hard for the both of us, and I promise I was so happy for you, I didn’t mean-“

“I missed you too.” Y/n stopped him. “I missed you so much, but with how I left things, with how hurt we both were I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me, I thought-“ she sighed. “I don’t know what I thought..”

Malcolm nodded, he walked over to her. Taking a hold of her hand he brought it to his face, gently kissing it. “Do you want to go back to my place? We can talk more, I really wanna catch up.”

“Yes.” She smiled at him. “I would like that.”

Malcolm decided to call a cab instead of taking his moms driver. Although he did send her a text apologizing for leaving early and without saying goodbye. The car ride was nice and peaceful, his hand still hadn’t left hers the whole way there, up until he had to open the door.

Walking inside, Malcolm slipped off his shoes and coat, going to the wine rack and grabbing two glasses.

“Oh she’s so sweet.” Y/n said.

Turning around, Malcolm saw Y/n standing next to sunshine cage, her finger in between the bars while Sunshine gently peeked the top of her finger.

“She likes you.” Malcolm walked over to his couch setting down both glasses, pouring one for himself and Y/n.

Walking over she sat herself next to Malcolm, taking the glass from his hand she took a sip. “Your mom was sweet, she talked about you and Ainsley a lot.”

Malcolm smiled. “She loves talking about her kids... sometimes anyway.”

“When they aren’t jumping out of buildings and getting kidnapped by serial killers.” Y/n teased.

“Heh, she told you about that?” Malcolm laughed nervously.

“She’s proud of you, I hope you know that.” Y/n reached up to move some hair from his face. Malcolm looked up to her, placing his and her drink down he took a hold of her hand.

Bringing it down to his lips he gently kissed her knuckles, his eyes never leaving hers. She didn’t say anything, looking between his eyes and his lips she wasn’t sure if he wanted to take it this far.

Malcolm smiled, leaning in he kissed her. She responded quickly, cupping his face with her hands, her thumbs rubbing up and down. She felt his scruff against her fingers, the scratchy feeling sending tingles down her spine.

She wanted to move closer, but there was nowhere else to go. Malcolm solved that by pulling her waist towards him. She sat on the other side of his leg while her legs laid across his lap, her fingers tangled in his hair.

Malcolms right hand reached around her back rubbing up and down, while his other hand came up to cup the side of her cheek, pulling her more towards him.

Malcolm started to get flash backs to the last time this happened. They were younger then, collage life taking almost all of their time on top of Malcolms obsession with his father and joining the FBI, her obsession with her study and travel planning.

To get alone time was almost a miracle those days, especially when nobody knew you were dating in the first place.

Pulling back, both breathed heavy, resting their foreheads against each other, they took their time catching their breath.

“Wow.” Y/n laughed. “This brings me back.”

“Yeah, me too.” Malcolm nodded. “I missed this.”

“Do you- do you think this could-“ Y/n stopped herself, suddenly getting nervous.

Malcolm of course noticed, but he already knew what she was thinking. He was thinking it too. “One date?” Malcolm asked. “Let’s try it, just once. If it feels wrong, we can stop, but-“

“If it feels right?” Y/n smiled. “We can talk about what happens next.”

“Agreed.” He said, pulling her in he wrapped one arm around her waist, his other went to her head to scratch it lightly.

She laid her head on his shoulder, messing with his tie in her fingers. They both sat quietly.

“Malcolm?”

“Yes.”

“I have some hope that we might be having that talk.”

Malcolm smiled. “Yeah, so do I. Maybe a lot more after that.”

“Oh yeah?” She said teasingly. “How far you already planning?” 

“If I’m that lucky? Hopefully forever.” Malcolm leaned down, kissing the top of her forehead.

“I actually hope you’re that lucky than.” Y/n admitted, pulling herself closer to Malcolm.

They both laid there wrapped in each other’s arms. Knowing how they left things, this was definitely a better outcome to reuniting. This date was risky, but this was something they didn’t know each other needed, or wanted for that matter.

The outcome of that date they both had a good feeling would have a better ending. Wrapped in each other’s arms, instead of running from them.

[rocorambles]

Ahhh i just thought of kuroo punishing his s/o by just making them watch him please the fuck outta himself and make him cum over and over again and they get really whiny and frustrated that they cant touch him or even help him out. But in the end kuroo lets them help him out. 😩🥵

Whoever sent this...we need to talk because clearly you’ve been reading my mind and I feel ATTACKED by how close to my fantasies this is LOL

Warnings: NSFW, Choking, Degradation

This is all your own fault. You knew there would be consequences for teasing Kuroo in front of all his friends, mockingly complaining about how Kuroo’s just a horn dog who only wants you for sex. 

Everyone knows that’s far from the truth, that your boyfriend loves you to the moon and back, that he adores and treasures you more than anything or anyone else. But it’s just so fun to rile him up, get back at him for all the sly comments he sends your way that has you flustered. And you smirk at him when his friends raucously laugh, only to pale when you see a wicked grin stretch across his face, nothing lighthearted about the stare he pins you with. 

You feel like you’re on pins and needles for the rest of the night, unsure of when or how he’s going to retaliate, your anxiety only skyrocketing as he just casually acts like the perfect boyfriend as the party goes on. You’re tight with anticipation as you trail after him into your shared apartment, but all he does is calmly take off his shoes and turn on the TV, motioning for you to sit next to him on the couch, and you tentatively obey, gingerly seating yourself besides him. But as hours go by you begin to relax, to sink into the plushy fabric, to pay more attention to the screen. 

But you’re jerked back to reality when Kuroo moves besides you, eyes calmly on the screen as he pulls down his pants and boxers enough for his cock to spring out, one large hand slowly stroking the length and your mouth waters at how delicious it looks hardening in his hand, growing into a shape you’re all too familiar with. And you dive down to wrap your mouth around it, to help him, only to yelp when you’re shoved away. 

Confused and disoriented, you rapidly blink at your boyfriend, cautiously drawing near only to gasp when Kuroo wraps his free hand around your neck, keeping you still, arms length away from him as he continues stroking, stroking, and stroking with his other hand. 

“You don’t have to do anything, kitten. Wouldn’t want to make you think that this is the only reason I keep you around, right? I’ll take care of myself, just enjoy the show.” 

The words by themselves would be innocent enough, almost sweet and caring, if it weren’t for the mocking tone and the icy cold stare combined with it and you whimper, silently pleading with your eyes for him to forgive you, to let you please him. But he’s having none of it and disappointment and regret flood through you as he keeps a tight grip around your neck while he finishes himself off, a whine slipping past your lips when he spills thick white spurts all over his hand, letting out a satisfied groan before abruptly releasing you and walking off to clean himself off without even a backwards glance at you. 

Days pass. Weeks pass. And you wait, but you’re growing desperate as you come upon a month. Kuroo and you both have high libidos and after being together for so long, you’re embarrassed to admit you’ve gotten used to having mind blowing sex regularly and constantly. But he hasn’t touched you even once since that night, even when you purposefully time it so that he walks in on you fingering yourself, even when you waltz around in his favorite lingerie sets. And you sob in frustration as your orgasms leave you unsatisfied, as your body aches and wants for more with every passing minute. 

So when you come home and find him on the bed, his head lolled back, breathy moans and groans exiting his mouth as he touches himself, you fling yourself to your knees beside the bed, loudly and desperately begging and whining for him to touch you, that you need him to fuck you, that you want to make him feel good. And Kuroo victoriously smiles at you, hazel eyes raking over your lust-filled eyes, the lewd way you can’t keep your eyes off of his cock. But he wants to punish you a bit more. 

“For someone who complained about me always wanting sex, you’re pretty desperate for my cock. But I don’t know, kitten. You hurt my feelings that day. I don’t think you deserve to feel good.” 

His cock twitches as you instantly babble incoherently, blathering on and on about how you’re the slutty one, how you love his cock, how sorry you are for being such a bad girl. And when little tears of frustration begin to slide down your face, he loses all control as he hauls you onto the bed, shoving your face into his groin, hissing at how beautiful and delighted you look just from having his pre-cum smeared all over your face, just from him rubbing and slapping his hard length all over your face, your tongue lolling out and licking any bit he gifts you with. 

You don’t resist at all when he’s finally done teasing you, when his large hand grabs you by your hair and shoves your face all the way down his cock, both of you moaning as he bottoms out in your tight throat, your eyes rolling back from the comforting weight and warmth stuffing your wet hole, your fingers reaching between your legs and wildly rubbing and fingering your dripping cunt. 

The two of you reach arching peaks so quickly, so powerfully after so much pent up sexual tension and frustration and Kuroo stares in awe as he catches his breath, watching the way you genuinely savor his bitter taste, mewling with pleasure as you swallow all his milk, your body trembling from the after shocks of your own orgasm. 

And despite the mind numbing blowjob you had just given him, arousal stirs deep and heavy within him once more and you gasp as you’re flipped onto your back, positions reversed as he slides down between your legs this time, predatory eyes staring intently at you as he inhales your aroused scent. 

“We’re nowhere near done yet, kitten. Thanks to your brattiness, we have a whole month to make up for. Hope you can keep up. You did beg for this after all.” 

[darkenedreaper]

The Velvet Box

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: angst, lil fluff

A/n: requested by lovely @captain-josslett hope you enjoy honey

You and Natasha had been happily together for 2 years. The two of you had moved into a spare room within the compound. It was on the floor below her old room and it was on the same floor as your old room. Natasha was the happiest she’d been in a long time. The same for you.

After that extremely traumatic event that was your parents death, Natasha had become everything to you. You felt the desperate need to protect her, contrast to how you couldn’t protect your parents fro Hydra. The Avengers become your family. And you were deeply grateful.

Your shared room was simply decorated. There was some photos of the both of you and some of you and the Avengers scattered around the room. She had her own photo of you and her on her bedside table. It was a Polaroid, your arms were wrapped around her waist as she held the machine by her head with her hand, the other holding onto your wrist.

You and the Avengers had recently had a tough mission and had easily finished it. So Tony was holding a little dinner for all of you. Natasha had gotten ready putting on the finishing touches of her black dress, which ended just above her kneecaps. The straps of her dress left room to show off her collarbone and her shoes were black, only added to the beauty she had. Her red curls were perfectly draped over her back and arms and her mascara highlighted her eyes. You wore a black shirt that had 3 buttons open. Your shirt was tucked into your black pants and you wore a thin suit jacket over it. You had checked for the 100th time that the small velvet box was in your jacket pocket. And you made a mental note to not take it off. She came over and greeted you with a kiss on your cheek, raising her head slightly so she could reach you. You hadn’t worn a dress and you looked strong in that suit, which Natasha was fond off. But you still had that feminine shine. She linked your arm with yours and you left your room, lamp turned on to come back into after the small group party.

You had been gathered around the glass coffee table, Steve’s soft music was quietly playing on the speakers and you had made subtle eye contact with Clint and he knew it was time. He took away Steve, Bucky and Bruce. Which left Tony, Thor, Wanda and Vision. Tony got the hint and as you and Natasha were in conversation, Tony and Thor excused themselves as they were gently arguing over who had the best suit. Vision had left to go and make Wanda another cocktail and so Wanda rushes to his help, hoping to not have another incident in where the drink spilt all over the counter. They had given you space, far enough so you were basically alone but close enough that they could just catch what you were saying. You turned to Natasha catching her attention as her eyes stuck on yours and her lips turned up.

“Nat. You know how much I love you and, how much you mean to me. I’m not that good with words but, I.. I wanted to ask you something.”

She listened to you with confusion and then everything clicked into place once you had slipped off the sofa and onto one knee in the floor. She watched you take out a velvet box and she dreaded what came next. There it was. A silver white coloured ring with a diamond sitting on top of it. It was beautiful, yes.

“Will you marry me Natasha?”

You asked with a smile on your face. The team joe had their full attention on the both of you, smiled tugging at their lips aswell. Although your smile had started to die once she hadn’t spoken or did anything in 10 seconds. You tilted your head a little in question.

“Y/N.. no. I can’t.”

And she lifted herself up from the chair and simply brushed past you. The click of her heels had started to fade away and you began to feel... upset, like a fool. The team had watched her walk away and they turned back to you with sorrow looks on their face as they saw you still kneeling on the floor with no one in front of you.

“Well then..”

You whispered to yourself. You got up from the floor and sat down on the couch slowly, a million questions running through your mind. You had your head in your hand now. The ring was forgotten on the table, still closed now. Tony made his way over to you and sat down, he tucked his left hand under his jacket not wanting to show you his wedding ring as he knew that would pain you even more. He gently rubbed your back and whilst you had your eyes covered by tears and your hands, Steve took away the box and stuck it in his pocket. They didn’t do anything or say anything, all they could do was watch you. Wanda could hear your mind and heart breaking that made her frown. She could also hear the teams hearts breaking. You just decided to give the team a small smile, hiding your head as you made your way to your shared room. You opened it, not so surprised to see it empty, without her. Where you now single? What happens now? In hopes, you made your way to her old room and as soon as you reached it you knocked gently on the door.

“Natasha? Nat? Can we talk? Honey?”

She could hear your muffled pleads from outside the door, knowing you were leaning against it. But she decided to block it out and instead get undressed. Taking out her earrings that you had given to her for your 2 year anniversary. You decided to leave her, perhaps she would think things over.

You went to bed later on and cried. Cried without a shoulder to cry on.

It was now morning and you had gotten about all together, 13 minutes of sleep. You got up. Your hair was a mess, you had a T-shirt on and some sweatpants and socks. The team decided not to discuss what happened last night with either of you and instead Clint had breakfast. You slowly sat down at the kitchen counter and slumped over in your chair. You ran a hand in your hair and sighed. Clint slide your plate that had pancakes on that were shaped into a smiley face. You smiled back at him, satisfying him as he smiled warmly and turned back round to the pan. You soon pushed it away from you. Bruce and the News on tv had drowned out the possible awkward silence and your kindness nowhere except for when she walked in. You stood up from your chair and you hadn’t noticed Steve protectively standing behind you.

“Morning Nat.. can I err, can we talk?”

She had she gone deaf? You called out her name once more but you just watched her fill her cup up with coffee. She then walked past Steve and had taken a seat on the sofa in front of tv. You cautiously took only 3 steps in the direction she was sitting in and you called her name for the 3rd time.

“What?”

She said in a harsh tone without even looking your way. She was obviously ignoring you and it seemed like you got to her that much she eventually decided to answer you to get you to shut up.

“Can we talk?”

You said and your tone was a little more quieter.

“Nah.”

Nah. You hadn’t eaten anything for breakfast but suddenly you had energy. You nodded your head doing your best to not show your weakened face, even though she wasn’t looking at you. You made your way to the training room. They all couldn’t believe how she was acting. Like nothing had happened, like there wasn’t such a thing called a 2 year relationship between Y/N and Natasha. They had kept their mouths shut as they knew not to anger or disturb the Black Widow. Maybe Clint would try later, but not now.

2 hours you’d been in the training room. You had to re-wrap your knuckles another 2 times as you had gone that hard on the training back, the wrapping had dissolved away. Steve had been watching you long enough to know that you weren’t in the mind of you. He brought you in a sandwich he’d made and a bottle of water. He left it on the bench for you as he watched you once more with a sad frown before leaving you alone. After needing to wrap your knuckles for a third time, although it wasn’t doing to much to help as your knuckle skin was already broken. You grabbed the water, completely oblivious to the sandwiches.

It was later on now, getting to 11 o’clock at night and the team had done everything to drag you to bed but you locked the doors. Jarvis had then threatened to turn off the lights and he did, but you trained in the dark, only focused on the bag in front of you. Jarvis then talked literally into your ears until you were forced to leave. Your head and hair was drilling with sweat and you made your way up to Natashas floor. You needed a quick breather as you leaned your body against the corridor wall, taking some breathes before you weakly knocked on her door, arms hurting and knuckles bruised. You had knocked twice more and no answer.

So you made your way to what would now be your second room only the find half of it empty. Natasha had taken things from her bedside table, clothes from the wardrobe, her jewellery, make up, phone charger. Nearly everything. But she did an excellent job of leaving the pair of earrings you’d bought her. They were the same ones she was wearing the night you proposed to her. They were just sitting in the bed. But what hurt most was that the Polaroid of you and her was still on her bedside table, knocked over. She hadn’t taken it, probably not even acknowledged it. You were just still. Your face turned from a sad one to a neutral one and you grabbed a clean jacket and headed down to the ‘Mission Room’.

Bucky had to pull out of a mission because he had special plans with Steve and so you hoped that mission was still available as you’d take off in 10 minutes. And luckily it was. So off you went.

The night you decided to leave for the mission, had worried everybody. They were worried sick thinking you might’ve left or been kidnapped. Until Wanda had the gran idea of checking the mission file and sighs of relief had spread throughout the room seeing as you had checked out i the compound for the mission. Except for Natasha. She hadn’t even known that you were missing. At this point she literally blocked you from her mind.

It was about 2 months on now. You’d lost about 30 pounds. Your gym sessions were daily and lasted throughout the day. Every night you knocked on her door, got no answer. Then you would cry for about an hour and hate yourself for being so stupid and so unloveable. Throughout those months, the team had found that their mission had been completed, and that could’ve been 3 or 4 a day, adding up to a total of 30 missions a week. Your weight loss hadn’t gone unnoticed by the team. In fact, they tried to take you to Bruce’s lab and force feed you. Then tried taking you to a therapist, but you told them you’d eat if they let you go. You smiled every time but Steve could see right through it. They all could see your bloodshot eyes, bags under your eyes, bruised knuckles, clothes getting ridiculously big on you. So big, you had to have a new suit made for combat.

Wanda cried to Vision every night as your thoughts were too loud. She was crying because you were the opposite. You weren’t unloveable. You weren’t a fool. You weren’t a failure. But you were right about one thing. You were broken and slowly dying inside. Wanda was just lucky it was only her mind she could read and not your organs. You only ate every 4 days and that was maybe a cracker or two. The rest water, training, maybe sleeping. Clint provides you with many hugs and Tony would watch you whilst you were sleeping. He knew you weren’t you because as soon as you heard the door handle you used to sit up right away. Now you slept right though him stroking his hand through your hair. Steve was always protective and close to you as you just had a great and trustworthy connection with him. Natasha didn’t bother with you. You even sat down next to Natasha once when she was eating and she continued to take bites of her food and scrolled through her phone. Each night you’d find yourself sleeping in later, drinking more, losing more weight every day. Then it was team training day. Doctor Cho always stood on standby if anything serious happened. You were on the treadmill as usual but this time you just had to come off it earlier then usual. You tried walking around to get rid of the jelly legs and you tried to grab your water, but all you could see was 3 of everything. Bucky and Doctor Cho were studying you from a far and Thor had started to come over to you as he spotted your ghostly face and sweet beads a mile away. But you doubled over from a pounding headache and all Thor could see was what looked like your eyes shutting as you fell over on your side, body going limp. And everyone heard the thud on the hard floor as even Natasha turned her attention towards it. Thor had started shouting for Doctor Cho and the doctor called for medical assistant. Tony ran over and picked your head up from the floor and he placed it on his bent knees from sitting in the floor with you. He turned your head to the right so you were breathing properly and Natasha saw you. She froze. She actually froze. She was at first focused on your face, your cheekbones had stuck out, your eyelids looked raw red and the bags under your once beautiful eyes had turned purple, going darker and that horrible pale colour that washed over your face. Her eyes were then draw to how thin you were, and she saw him loose the t shirt you wore was, and then sweatpants were the same only baggier. They had to force you to sit up as you were still unconscious and she gasped when she saw your spine sticking through the t shirt and the distinct lines that represented your ribs. She placed a hand over her mouth and everything stopped. She realised what she’d done. How she’d broken you. How she abandoned you. How she left you alone to question if you weren’t good enough. She was then distracted by the team of doctors, 2 with a stretcher, that swarmed around and gently lifted you onto the moving bed. You now had an oxygen tank by your side and a mask on your face. Helen wanted to get an iv drip into you as soon as possible which is why you were rushed off so quick. All she could do was watch and the only part of her that could move were her eyes, desperately trying to see your face if your eyes were open yet.

Steve had stopped and looked at her watching before he quite rough ty shoved the velvet box into her hands. She didn’t dare open it. She just sat down on the training floor. Her thoughts were torn away from you as Clint practically stormed in to find her. His breath was rapid and his eyes were glossy. He stood above her with his hands on his hips.

“Do you know what you’ve done to her? Her organs are failing because of you! She thinks she’s unloveable, unwanted, a failure! Because. Of. You!”

He yelled at her. She could just watch him rant as she didn’t realise that tears were filling up her eyes and she didn’t know that a few slipped out. He soon softened and he sighed before having nothing left to say but he did look sympathetic towards her. He soon left her to return back to you.

As he returned to the room where the Avengers where he took a seat. You had multiple wires and lifelines hooked up to you. You had to have 2 more blankets placed over you as your body temperature was dropping. Thor sadly placed his cape over you. Steve was looking down, Wanda was trying to read your mind, Vision had his arm around her, Bruce was constantly checking your decreasing vitals. Tony was crying silently, the evidence staining his beard. And he was looking at your hand, wanting to hold it. Bucky looked at your face, then your finger and thinking how if she wasn’t so cold to you, within a year you could’ve been wearing a ring there aswell. To Bucky you looked like him when he was caged up which is why he had to leave the room, maybe to go and spend some time in your room. Heading out the door he bumped into Natasha who seemed frantic to get in there. He stopped to say something but she barged past until she saw your figure lying there.

Clint nodded to the rest of the gang for them all to clear out as she couldn’t take her eyes off of you. It could’ve been the disruption, it could’ve been the loud footsteps, noises of the chairs scraping but whatever it was, stopped your heart. Everyone’s heads turned to you and Natasha practically screamed for a nurse.

Tony was immediately by your side holding it as Thor was trying to pull him away as he was getting upset himself.

Helen and nurses came rushing in as they started to work on your body. Natasha refuses to leave and so she was allowed by your side. She did what she had to do and took out the velvet box, looked at the beautiful shining ring and placed it on her finger.

“Y/N. Y/N look. Open your eyes your ring is on my finger. Y/N I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry please!”

Helen had now started manual resuscitation as the team outside weren’t doing a good job of holding it together. Natasha had started to sob as suddenly there was a faint beep on the machine. And another. Another. You were back. She had dropped her head in relief and she begged you to open your eyes, much like you had begged her to open the door. They all heard a groan from you and Natasha lifted up her head and the Avengers were all crammed next to each other looking in through the window. Your eyes were slowly opening and you turned your head to see a green eyed beauty crying. She took a look at you and dropped her head down again in shame.

But that shame was replaced with hope as she felt a light squeeze in her hand that was yours. She grabbed yours with both hands. You couldn’t really talk with the mask over your nose and mouth and your mouth being extremely dry. So you used your other hand to point to it. All she could do was nod her head.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I don’t know why I refused you and.. and put my walls up when I’m this vulnerable around you. Please.. please don’t leave me.”

You gave her a slight nod from your head and a tired smile and she knew what that was. She dried her tears but was still sniffling and now smiling. And then you turned your head to see a bunch of Avengers smiling back at you, some sounds of ‘awes’ coming from them.

@natasha-danvers @imnotasuperhero @aaron-despair @confusinggemini612 @thewidowsghost @ecruzsalaz @fcbarcelona-and-marvel-4-life @gaytrashgoblin @capmarvelq @nat-romanoffdanvers @lesbian-x-blackwidow @emilyprentisswife @captain-josslett @oblivious-horny-lesbian @trikruismybitch @summergeezburr @username23345

[davosmymaster]

To the Ends of the Universe

A/N - Hello!!! How’s everyone doing? Just wanted to say thank you to the people who left a comment/liked the post about this one shot. I really hope this fic won’t dissapoint anyone.

Special thanks to @wonders-of-the-multiverse​ who has been there from the very first second. This fic initially started as both of us just daydreaming about the Master as usual and well, here we are XD. She was also my incredible beta reader.

As some of you know, English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistake. This is also my first fic on tumblr YAY

I really hope you have a good time reading this!!!

WARNINGS - Blood, mentions of nightmares, it’s pure fluff basically with hints of angst

PAIRINGS - Dhawan!Master x Reader (The Master x Reader)

WORD COUNT - 6,062 words

TO THE ENDS OF THE UNIVERSE

 The dimly lit hallways exploded in a bright white light as you rushed to the medbay, the loud thumping of your heart stuck in your ears as you forced your legs to keep the pace for just one more second.

 As Opposed to The Doctor’s, The Master’s TARDIS had always looked quite dark and unwelcoming, almost as if it wasn’t pleased with having anyone wandering around inside her. This time, however, a white flickering light guided you through the maze-like corridors to your destination. It was a big change from the dirty tricks she used to play during the first few months of your stay.

 The floor under your shoes quaked as the ship took off, the harsh trembling sending your body forwards and your shoulder crashing against one of the metal doors. You rubbed the tender spot for a second, the worry that had overwhelmed you at the sight of blood quickly being replaced by a wave of pure annoyance and agitation.

 “You could help me a bit here” you whispered through gritted teeth towards the TARDIS, the pain in your shoulder slowly dissolving into numbness.

 A low groan seemed to come from the walls and the energy inside it. The metal disappeared as the door slid open to reveal the grey colour of the medbay.

 “O-oh” you gasped “sorry”

 Once inside the room and without a thought, your body automatically went for the second drawer in one of the cupboards.

 Traveling the stars wasn’t as safe as you would have liked, and both the Master and yourself had gotten hurt more times than either of you remembered. As years and years passed you had surprised yourself in the most appropriate situations, becoming aware of the fact that you could find almost anything in the medbay at this point; even if you couldn’t understand the advanced medical technology a time lord could have gathered all over time and space for god-knows-how-long.

 “I’m back!” you announced when the control room appeared in front of your eyes again. The figure of the Master was leaning against the console, eyes too focused on his own empty fists to be considered normal. His hair was more disheveled than usual, the fringe coated with blood as it brushed across the top of his eyes. “Master”

 He jumped in place at the sound of your voice, one of his hands instinctively going to his coat’s pocket as a reflex. The wound on the side of his head was still bleeding, although the oozing flow of blood seemed to have lessened considerably since you had last seen him. His skin was much paler than usual and the dark rings under his eyes were looking much worse than that morning. You couldn’t help but think that he looked miserable, even beyond the blood staining his face and clothes.

 “Are you alright?” you whispered. You took a step forward cautiously and didn’t look away from his eyes, trying to find all the answers to your questions in those big brown orbs.

 “Why wouldn’t I be?”

 He quickly backed off, putting as much space between the two of you as he could. You watched him wander the room, walking in one direction before changing his mind the next second. You clenched your hands around the medical supplies, the weight of all the things you were carrying reminded you why you had left the room in the first place.

 “Have a seat somewhere” you demanded, although it sounded angrier than you had intended, almost like a bark. “You’re still bleeding”

 “YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”

 Your heart hammered in your chest as a response. The silence fell between the two of you, the atmosphere suddenly running out of air. He looked like a madman right there in front of your incredulous eyes, bleeding and pointing at you like he pointed at his enemies after stating a threat. He had never glared at you with angry eyes before.

 The Master had been acting odd for some time now. It all started with a change in his plans. One day, for no apparent reason, he took you on a trip to one of the most beautiful planets in the universe. The blue dunes of sand under an orange bright sun permanently eclipsed by one of its forty-three satellites. It seemed to be the perfect place to have some rest, at least it was until some of the natives recognized the Master and threatened to kill both of you.

 Surely ‘the most beautiful’ didn’t imply ‘the safest’, as the few civilizations that lived there had been at war for more than a millennia. The only thing all those aliens had in common was, somehow, the desire for the Master’s dead body. When the TARDIS set off again, as far away from the planet as she could, you realized he had done the first good action in a long time: he had left behind two civilizations unified for a cause greater than themselves, to get rid of him once and for all.

 Most of the time you couldn’t choose where to go, he always traveled whenever and wherever he needed in order to gather weapons or artifacts. Other times it was merely to have some fun, and on some rare occasions you would manipulate him to use his bloodthirstiness to do some justice.

 Those trips weren’t as usual now, or maybe he just had stopped telling you the truth about his intentions. Burning planets, dangerous ships and poisonous waters became beautiful trips to sightseeing constellations and the most delicious dinners served next to the colorful Medusa Cascade. No matter how beautiful or safe the place seemed to be, there was always someone or something interrupting the dates you were trying to enjoy with the Master. Not that he would call them dates, anyway.

 You used to read him like an open book. When he said “you’ll slow me down” in reality he meant “this is gonna turn nasty and I want you as far away from here as possible”. When he said he wanted to be alone, that was probably the last thing he wanted. And most of all you were almost a hundred percent sure that the strange words he whispered into your hair when he thought you were asleep meant “I love you” in Gallifreyan.

 But you still hadn’t managed to persuade the TARDIS to get you a Gallifreyan dictionary with the words’ pronunciation. It was definitely a work in progress though, or it had been until you realized that the Master and yourself had been slowly growing apart for the last few months.

 “(Y/N)” he said, his voice almost as low as a whisper “I- I shouldn’t have-”

 “You’re right, you shouldn’t have” you responded firmly. There were a lot of things you were willing to forgive him for, but yelling and mistreating you wasn’t one of them.

 He groaned in pain then, drenching his fingertips in the blood clot in his temple. Your own heart shivered in your chest at the sight, concern quickly burning your insides as a white hot fire ran through your veins.

 “Don’t touch it!”

 You quickly walked the space keeping you apart and gave him a gentle smack to his wrist. He avoided your eyes, fixing them instead on the rolls of unopened gauze, alcohol, towels, and those strange alien band-aids that accelerated the healing process up to five times faster.

 In a flurry of movement the Master moved, his hands quick to try and snatch them from you. But you had known him for a long time and knew exactly what he was like.

 “I can do it myself, I’m not a child”

 “I know you can-” you replied softly, your mind trying to convince itself that he was acting weirder than usual because you had underestimated the damage caused by the blow he had suffered to the head. “-but I’m not as sure about the rest of the sentence.”

 He raised one eyebrow in response and you watched him try not to grimace in pain again.

 “Here” he pulled away from you and walked to the front door of the TARDIS, opening it with ease. The old wood-like doors pulled back to reveal a black nothingness filled with thousands of distant flickering stars “I need some air.”

 The Master took a seat at the border. His back rested against the doors, one of his legs dangling out into space, the other bent beneath him on the floor.

 “You’ve definitely taken quite a hit.” you laughed, “There’s no air in outer space!”

 He smirked with closed eyes, calmly breathing in and out through the nose. “Don’t tell a Time Lord what can and cannot be in outer space. Now get to work, if you’re not going to let me do it myself.”

 You took a seat in front of him in the small space between his figure and the open door, one of your legs also dangling out into space. Leaning in, you pressed the gauze soaked in alcohol against the open wound to finally stop the bleeding. The Master clenched his jaw as much as he could, hissing in pain.

 “Sorry” you apologized, “Keep the pressure on yourself, I’m gonna clean you up.”

 He leered at you, the corner of his lips smirking lasciviously. You rolled your eyes, taking the wet towel in your hands and proceeding to clean the dry blood away from his chin and cheek. You cleaned his short beard the best you could and tried to get rid of the blood clots in his fringe, unsuccessfully to your dismay.

 You could feel his eyes piercing yours, his fingers gently sliding across the skin of your shoulder, softly brushing your hair to get it out of the way. You fixed your eyes onto his own only to catch him avoiding your gaze, his attention stuck on staring out at the endless sight of the universe.

 The Master kept his eyes fixed in nowhere in particular while you worked on his wound. You slowly opened one of the band-aids and tried to avoid his hair as much as possible, so you could place it on the side of his head; just above the temple. Now you just had to wait a few minutes to remove it. You had used those curious things several times before and although the healing was sped up, the thing never failed to leave some kind of scar. But even with those odds stacked against him, the Master was always lucky enough to never get scarred- likely thanks to his own unique biology.

 You let yourself fall limp against the door and tilted your head to whatever the Master was looking for. The sight was beautiful as it had always been, millions of stars were almost swallowed by the black nothingness that separated planets, constellations, solar systems, and asteroids. And even at the incredible sight of all of this, you struggled to find something that could possibly retain the Master’s attention for more than a split second.

 “Are you alright? You’ve seemed a little distant lately” you asked again.

 Fixing your eyes on his features you searched for any sign of discomfort, either physical or emotional. At the lack of response your gaze started to wander, his hand catching your attention as he played with something inside of his coat pocket.

 He was likely twisting and curling the TCE between his fingers. It was a trait you had noticed during your time travelling with him, his fingers fidgeting without fail whenever he was deep in thought. It happened every time, he would either tap four beats on any surface he could find or get something to entertain his restless fingers with, most of the time the ‘thing’ being his TCE.

 The memories from the day filled your head then. He had looked distant the whole time, from the very first second he landed the TARDIS in one of the three planets that formed the solar system of one of the seventeen suns in Kasterborous. It was the closest you had ever been to Gallifrey and, still, it was far enough to not be able to admire the beautiful planet that had watched the Doctor and the Master grow into adults for centuries.

 “I’m just planning my next scheme to trap the Doctor”

 You nodded, although you didn’t believe a thing of what he said.

 The words of what you had been thinking for endless nights poured from your lips before your mind could make up an excuse for his strange behavior, like all the other times. No one could blame you, after all you were just trying to protect your heart and mind from shattering.

 “Is it me?” you asked finally, your voice betraying you and showing more emotion than what you had intended.

 The Master suddenly turned his curious gaze to you. So he was paying attention then…

 “Don’t you think I haven’t spotted how distant you’ve been lately” you added, although lately didn’t seem to be the right word. Obviously you had realized how much time he spent alone in the library and how his visits to the room you both shared were becoming less and less frequent. He always claimed he didn’t need to sleep as much, but you had been apart for enough time for you to notice that it was just a cheap excuse to not be there.

 “Do you not want me to be here anymore?”

 He frowned at your words.

 “W-wha-”

 “Are you still happy?” you asked with a hoarse voice, feeling the familiar weight of tears building up in your eyes at the low wheezing sound of the silence. You clenched your jaw and tried to swallow the tears. “Don’t lie to me.”

 He just stared at you in silence for a second, mouthing like a fish out of water, until he finally blinked and tried to make a sound.

 “I-is not-”

 “Just-” you cut him off, feeling again like a lie was about to spill from his lips. “-you seem sad, distant, you’re not happy and you’re lying to me.”

“No-NO!” You snapped when he tried to talk again, “Don’t try to deny it, I can tell. I know you”

 “So…” Anxiously you took a shallow shaky breath “It has something to do with me, doesn’t it?”

 He pressed his lips together for a second but soon relaxed again. Changing his expression, the shimmer in his eyes shifted as he smirked slightly, the dark circles under his eyes failing to achieve the frightening look he was striving for. Maybe it would have worked with anyone else, but not with you.

 “You humans are so vain, always thinking the universe spins around you.”

 “I’m being serious, Koschei”

 He took a breathless gasp, almost as if he had been hit. The name of a time lord was one of the biggest, best-kept secrets in the universe. Only a handful of people had known (or would ever know) the real name of the Doctor, and due to the Master’s lack of sympathy and his trouble to connect with people to an emotional level, even less had known or ever would know his.

 ‘How many?’ you had asked when he confessed his real name one night, his forehead pressing against your sweaty collarbone.

 ‘Only you’ he had whispered, right before kissing your shoulder “and some Time Lords at the Academy, but they are not important.” you heard him take a deep breath, his nose pressed against your throat “All dead now.”

 Those times seemed out of reach. You even asked yourself if he regretted telling you.

 “Not you.” he whispered defeatedly, his head falling to his lap “It could never be you.”

 “What is it then?”

 He shifted his whole body to face you, squirming in his place and unable to keep still. He removed his hand from his pocket, clasping your own tightly.

 “It’s me.” he whispered in a choked breath and looked at your eyes “It’s so selfish of me to want you forever even though I know I don’t deserve you.”

 “Don’t say that!” you replied, struggling to believe the honesty in his voice and eyes. “You’re not serious. You can’t think like that after everything we’ve been through!”

 He focused again on your hands firmly entwined.

 “I believe it because… you’re so good” he looked away briefly towards the stars, before turning his gaze back to you again. “And people like me don’t get good people by their side or moments like this.”

 The Master stroked your palms with his thumbs, suddenly finding them more interesting than his own thoughts. After a few moments he gave a shaky sigh, backing off once more.

 “And if the past few attempts haven’t been proof of that, then I don’t know what could it be.”

 “Proof?” you questioned, “Proof of what? And what do you mean by the past few attempts?”

 He froze in place, and you frowned at his sudden stiffness. His shoulders tensed and body solid as he sighed deeply, his eyes fluttering closed as he tried and failed to relax his posture. The Master grumbled to himself in defeat, his hand dipping back into his pocket and playing with the TCE or whatever he had found to fiddle with once more.

 “I-it’s nothing. Just rambling.” he shrugged in an attempt to consolidate his own thoughts, but not even you believed his body language. “You do it a lot, ramble I mean, ugh, it’s your fault. I’m getting your bad ha-”

 “Does it have something to do with the last few stops?” you insisted, although you knew from personal experience that pressuring the Master to talk more than he wanted was never a good idea “All those… extravagant places, the two dates at the Medusa Cascade…”

 “Dates?”

 You would have laughed at his disgusted look if the atmosphere wasn’t so tense between the both of you. So you just gave him a crooked smile.

 “Yes, Master. That’s what it’s called when a person takes another person for dinner to talk and have a good time, especially when the place is that fancy. I loved it even though...”

 He watched silently as you told him about the whole date and everything that happened afterwards, despite him being there by your side. Although the dinner had started off with good intentions, it had quickly slipped into a tone of awkwardness through no fault of his own. So much so that the chasing and ‘running for your lives’ had been very much welcomed, although he didn’t notice it. He even apologized once you got into the TARDIS. It was fair to say that he was beyond annoyed the first time.

 A month later, when the second date was just another failed attempt in another restaurant in the Medusa Cascade, he had been furious. That was one of the reasons why the console room (or the living room of the house the TARDIS was disguised as) was even messier than usual. He had broken some chairs and cups before following your steps as you had stormed out to the library.

 The Master realized as he watched you talk that there would be no such thing as a perfect time. He silently admired the star light reflecting in your eyes and highlighting your features, oblivious to everything else. He couldn’t believe the fact that fate had found a way for both your souls to meet and connect. It didn’t matter in the end how much he had tried to distance himself from any other form of life in the universe, because at the end of the day you had always been there, always. He didn’t believe in fate, but when he looked back at the few possibilities there was for him to meet a person that he truly cared about, it was hard not to succumb at the idea of a force greater than himself pulling the strings to figure everything out.

 Even if he dared to think for a split second about not seeing you again, he wouldn’t be able to keep his pieces together. The Master wanted to do the right thing for once, and if fate surprisingly existed, he was certain it absolutely despised him. Countless times he had tried to have a full minute in silence with you, just enjoying each other’s company with a beautiful view, and the same amount of times his plans had been ruined by someone or something trying to either kill him, obtain revenge or obtain revenge via killing him. Until that precise moment he had never had regrets about all the people he had annoyed.

 He wondered what he could do now. Kasterborous was the last place on the list, and he was beyond exhausted from trying. On the other hand, he couldn’t give up on you. His best dreams were always about you, but so were his worst nightmares. And whenever and wherever he was he could always be sure about two things: his love for you and his conviction that as long as your heart was beating, so would his.

 How had he expected to make it perfect when your lives had always been so messy? After all, that was the whole basis of your lives: chaos, adventure, nothing ever occurring according to plan. And still, everything seemed to always find a way to fall into place. Not even the tardis had felt like a home before you, but now home seemed to be in his hands whenever he held yours, and he would be so lost if your hand ever left his.

 A sudden current of hope swallowed him whole.

 “Travel the universe with me.” He whispered, loud enough for you to hear.

 You couldn’t help but chuckle at his pleading. However, your laugh died with ease when you turned around to find a pair of saddened eyes.

 You leaned in and stroked his beard in your palm, using a few seconds to admire his lips and features. Sighing, you repositioned yourself with both of your hands in his lap, your eyes staring intensely at his own as you held his attention on yourself.

 “I already travel with you, idiot.” You gave his hands a gentle squeeze, “What’s wrong?”

 The Master took three shallow breaths, his sight lost somewhere in your hands above the fabric of his trousers. You moved away from him again, gazing worriedly to how distant he seemed to be from his own flesh. It was at that moment that his hand emerged from the concealment of his thick purple coat pocket, his fist trembling and knuckles a stark white colour.

 An idea quickly surged in your brain, and you fought to swallow the dry lump in your throat at the fear of something serious happening to him.

 However, that fear quickly vanished when his fist relaxed and his fingers slowly curled open; revealing what was inside for the light of day to see.

 For a split second you thought he wasn’t holding anything, but then your mind acknowledged the shape of a ring sitting proudly in front of your incredulous eyes. The ring was so tiny in his large hand that you couldn’t properly see it until his fist was completely open and flat, it seemed almost a crime to keep something so beautiful concealed in the shadows.

 The ring was silver, encrusted with white circular gemstones that you didn’t even bother to try and name as without a doubt they weren’t from Earth. The central gem shined a dim light almost invisible until he lent his hand to the side. For a second you could have sworn you had seen a fine black line inside of it, the thought quickly dismissed as a trick of the light as your eyes filled with unstoppable tears once again.

 The only thing that could make you look away from the small piece of jewelry was a gentle squeeze to your shoulder, that and the fact that the Master had quickly stowed the ring away in his coat pocket once more. Your trembling body kept your eyes locked on the empty space it had once inhabited regardless, that was until you heard his panicked voice breaking through the loud thumping of your heart in your ears.

 The Master had positioned both his hands against your cheeks which were now wet with your tears, his thumb tracing the contour of your cheek and drawing you away from your reverie. Only then did you dare to look at him again.

 “I-I’m sorry. I-” he took shallow breaths, blinking away the tears forming in his eyes at light speed. “I’m so sorry. Don’t cry, please. Don’t cry.”

 “W-” you tried to ask, but the words in your mouth didn’t seem to appear fast enough in your mind “W-what’s that?”

 He leaned in and pressed his forehead to your own, still wiping away the tears that littered your cheeks with his thumbs. Even from that angle you could discern how one tear slipped away from his right eye, licking gently at the hot skin behind only to die in the corner of his lips.

 “Nothing.” He stated with a shuddered exhale, suddenly cutting himself off by chewing his lip “It’s nothing!”

 “It’s a ring!” You cried in return.

 From all the things you expected from the Master, marriage was very low on the list. He despised most planets and sassily commented about any tradition and culture that wasn’t his own. You had never even bothered to think about marriage, especially after knowing that weddings on Gallifrey were mostly arranged, a mere game to obtain political power and status amongst the community. In Gallifrey weddings weren’t enjoyed and at the end of the day, they didn’t mean anything either; it was just a convenient tool for both parties.

 But you weren’t a Time Lord.

 You were human.

 Just one more human traveling the stars.

 During your travels, you had learned that the meaning of marriage was a timeless concept to the future of the human race, no matter how long someone had been away from Earth or how many millenniums had passed since the Solar System had been destroyed to dust. Some things simply stayed the same.

 So he knew what marriage meant to the human race, and most importantly, he knew what marriage meant to you, for the both of you.

 “No” he tried “No, it’s…”

 “Don’t lie to me” you growled, pushing his shoulders back “Don’t you dare lie to me. I’m tired of getting pushed away. You always, always, do that. And it hurts”

 You buried your head in your knees, your arms wrapping around yourself tightly as tears silently escaped your eyes without remedy. It happened regardless of how you felt, were you happy? nervous? sad? You didn’t even know at this point. The thing with the Master was that he was always so hard to comprehend, despite all the years of traveling and living together. In the end he was always true to his spontaneous, chaotic natures, never failing to surprise you at the least expected moment.

 The Master moved closer, this time pressing his forehead to your shoulder. A second after you felt your own shirt getting damp, your heart tightening in your chest even more, if that was even possible. Knowing that not only was he only trying not to cry in front of you, he was also trying to hide, trying to find somewhere safe to let himself break. It was hard not to think about how much exhaustion and courage it was taking him not to get on his feet and run as far as he could.

 He always had struggled to put his emotions into words, and expressing the depth of his feelings for you was still something he wasn’t quite used to. Even though he had never said I love you openly, you also knew he didn’t need to.

 The Master was the kind of person whose acts always said more than his words. The way he supported you in everything you wanted to do, the soft whispers to wake you up and his habit of making a single cup of coffee in the morning just for you (mostly because he didn’t like the taste). You had spent an endless amount of nights in his arms when you couldn’t sleep, countless days curled up tightly next to him when sickness took over your body. You didn’t remember what nightmares felt like anymore, you hadn’t had one since the first night he shared with you. Yet still, you preferred them to the terror swallowing your body whole when his own nightmares woke you up in the middle of the night.

 “Of course it’s a ring.” he finally admitted, “Im selfish enough to not want you with anyone else or anywhere else. I want you here for as long as we have.”

 His confession was sealed with a feather light kiss against the exposed skin of your neck. “I’ve been trying to ask you for a long time, but it never works out. I fear this will have to do”

 When you pulled away, he quickly wiped all the tears from his face in a rapid and almost angry manner. But even with his cheeks partially dry, you could still see the redness tinted around the edges of his eyes and the tip of his nose, still spot the remnants of tears clinging to his eyelashes.

 You pulled his hands away from his face and cleared away the final tears that slipped across his cheeks. A choked sob tearing from his throat as he tried to take a steadying breath. You could clearly see the conflict he waged with himself, especially so when his hands turned into fists and his jaw clenched so tightly you feared he would break a tooth.

 Pressing the tip of your thumb against his lip, you caressed the soft skin you were dying to kiss. Looking deeply into his eyes, you could tell he seemed to be finally paying full attention.

 “Look at me.”

 “I’m looking at you.”

 “No, you’re not.” You exclaimed, “You’re thinking, not looking. Stop torturing yourself in that head of yours and just… look at me and see.”

 Frown lines marked his face and you took the chance to get rid of the white band-aid that stuck to his forehead; revealing the pristine healed skin underneath.

 “What do you want me to see?” The Master ventured after a moment of silence.

 “How much I love you.” You brushed the tip of his nose with yours and slid your hand against the soft hairs in his jaw. “You need to see it, and believe…”

 His short chuckle was melody to your ears.

 “It's impossible not to see it, love.” He smiled sadly, your skin shivering under his touch as he slid two fingers under the fabric of the shirt’s collar. Lazily he outlined your collarbone, his hands roaming and exploring your skin as though it was an uncharted planet.

 You smiled to yourself, knowing it was yet again another sign of his nervous quirks; the constant need to entertain his fingers with something.

 “It’s there every time I look at you.” The Master continued, “And unfortunately, I never believe what I see.”

 Somehow, you already knew what he was going to say, the words nestled deep within your heart. Closing your eyes, you gently pressed your lips against his own, the moment brief and chaste before backing off almost immediately afterwards.

 “I’ll have to make you then.”

 Leaning forwards your hand reached outwards, pulling the pocket of his coat round as you brazenly dug down into his pocket. It wasn't hard to find the tiny piece of jewelry, but it was definitely harder to free your wrist from the Master’s grip.

 “Please…” he begged with pleading eyes “What are you…?”

 Eventually, and without a word, he let your wrist go. You licked your lips, feeling the coldness of the ring nestled against your own palm but too afraid to open your fist to give it a proper look.

 Taking a deep breath, you finally encouraged yourself to do what had to be done.

 Even before giving the ring a second look, you slowly slid the piece of jewellery on to the place it belonged; where it would always belong. Then with baited breath you drew your gaze carefully across every inch of it, committing every shine, every detail to memory. The circular gem in the middle caught your attention for a lot longer than when you had initially seen it, and you found that the more you fixed your eyes on it, the clearer the thin black lines became inside of the gem.

 You could tell it was gallifreyan, the entwined circles were hard to mistake for any other language, the black dots inside the circumferences were almost impossible to see. You struggled to find the meaning, even with the knowledge from the classes that The Master had given you in the past.

 He seemed to be holding his breath when your eyes watched his features again. Noticing your eyes on him, he swallowed loudly. His whole figure relaxed. His shoulders falling back against the wood-like door, his constant frown fading and hands falling limp in his lap. With nifty fingers brushed away his fringe in an attempt to remove the hair from his eyes.

 He was clearly overwhelmed by the situation and you did understand his reaction, after all he had been trying to propose for a long time.

 “What does it mean?”

 His grin was the biggest he had ever made, his eyes recovering that special shine you hadn’t seen in months.

 “Why do I even bother trying to teach you?”

 “Why do I even bother treating your wounds if you make me want to punch you in the face afterwards?”

 “Uhm… let’s see…” He jokingly teased. Catching your left hand, he brought it closer to his eyes, his gaze fixated on the ring perched on your finger.

 With a steady voice and growing confidence, The Master pronounced a series of sounds that you couldn’t quite comprehend, your mind still flaring with recognition for them as the words he always whispered in your hair during the night.

 Before you could protest about not speaking gallifreyan, he promptly translated.

 “Hold my hand to the ends of the universe.” He took your hand and gently pressed his lips to the ring and the skin around it.

 “This is my promise” he finished with a whisper.

 Your breath was caught in your throat. You only remembered you needed to say something when he warily gazed to your own incredulous eyes. You had no idea what he would decipher in your gaze, as your own torrent of emotions were hard to decode even by yourself. But you caught sight of the huge amount of hope installed in his eyes and your heart hammered in your chest at the sight.

 “Yes, I do.”

 The Master chuckled, your attention catching a glimpse of the happiness exploding in his eyes. It was like watching a supernova explode in before you. He let his head fall to your intertwined hands once again, sliding his fingers to tighten his grip around your own as he held your hand.

 “I wanted to propose to you.” he smirked, “Not marry you on the spot. We have time for that.”

 You chuckled and he lent in, his lips gracing your cheek as he kissed you once more. With his breath hot against your skin, the Master released a shaky, relieved whisper.

 “Thank you, love.”

 With a gentle touch, his hands wandered to the small of your back urging you to lay down on top of him. You followed his guidance with little resistance, hands pressed against his chest as you could hear the rapid beating of his hearts despite the numerous layers of clothing he always wore.

 Excited at the sound, you shifted your hand directly above his hearts, the gemstones in the ring sparkling and reflecting the flickering light of the stars on your finger.

 “I love you.” You whispered as his hands traced circular lines in your back. He made an amused sound and kissed the top of your head.

 “I love you too,” He answered without a moment's hesitation.