#we both ate everything else tho

[collaredkittyboy]

How many bugs have you eaten in your life?

Zero that I know of

[bacchuschucklefuck]

the never stop blowing up vhs is where cute twinks go to get harmed

[sunsetsturniolos]

Oneshot: Matt confronting you after you start getting quiet. You’ve been getting insecure and you feel like you’re holding him back. This hot ass man is sweet as fuck tho!!!

talk to me - matt sturniolo x fem reader

a/n: took my own little twist on this :) sorry is there are any mistakes!

warnings: mentions of toxic childhood, not eating, hate comments, insecurities. if you are going through any of this please talk to someone! my inbox is always open if you need some to rant to 💞

as always my inbox is open for requests, but other than that, enjoy!

lots of love,

m💌💌💌

it had been about 2 weeks since you and the triplets have done anything together. every time they asked you to do something that involved getting ready nicely you shut them down. this wasn’t like you, normally you were a very bubbly and happy person who was always jumping at opportunities to do something fun, so you knew they were starting to get suspicious but you just brushed it off and moved on.

lately you’ve been feeling very insecure with yourself. you grew up in a toxic environment, which lead to you always having the thought in the back of your head that you weren’t good enough. recently, you’d been in some of the triplets videos, and the hate had been adding to this. you’d stopped eating as much, cutting down to a few snacks a day, maybe a whole meal if you were lucky. it’d been like this for a while, and while you hated doing this to yourself, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

a few days had passed and matt was starting to get worried. he knew you were struggling at the moment but he didn’t realise it was this bad. the triplets ordered canes for dinner last night, and while matt thought you ate your meal and didn’t finish because your stomach was hurting, he was wrong. he found your entire meal in the bin the next morning and suddenly everything made sense. he’s been trying to muster up the words and courage of what to say to you. he knew he had to do something, he couldn’t bare to see his beautiful girl going through this. he waited a while before finally going to your guys’ shared bedroom, already finding you sat on the bed, phone in hand. you had bags under your eyes. you’d lost a lot of weight, you weren’t yourself anymore.

“hey baby, can we talk?” matt stuttered,

“uh, yeah of course,” you hesitantly replied, these kind of conversations always made you nervous. “uhm i don’t really know how to start this, but i saw all of your food from last night in the trash, i thought you ate some of it?” matt asked.

shit. you thought.

“oh eh i just wasn’t that hungry thats all.” you quickly replied, hoping to end the conversation.

matt knew that was all bullshit.

“love, you and i both know that isn’t true,” he spoke.

oh you were screwed.

“talk to me baby, whats going on?” he carried on, adding a comforting hand to your thigh, you tensed under his touch.

tears started to well up in your eyes, you knew you couldn’t keep it in anymore, you had to tell him. “i’ve just been feeling a bit insecure recently, i mean you’ve seen the comments right? everyone thinks i’m fat!” you’d broken down by now. matt’s face was drained with guilt. “baby those comments don’t mean anything! your the most gorgeous girl i know! they’re just jealous, mean 12 year olds! please don’t let them affect you. everyone loves you so much, nick loves you, chris loves you, and i love you more than anything! this isn’t healthy, you need to eat.” matt was right. “i know, i just didn’t know what to do.” it was a lame excuse and you knew it, but you had nothing else to say. “please talk to me next time, you know i’m always here for you,” he reassured, you lazily nodded.

“i love you matt.” “i love you more baby, why don’t we go get ice cream from down the street, your favourite?” matt smiled. “that sounds great honey, thank you.” you blushed.

matt quickly kissed you forehead and grabbed his keys from the dresser. he held his hand out for you as you got up and interlocked fingers, making your way to the car.

what would you do without this boy.

tags: @sturnioloslurps @lacysturniolo @lewisroscoelove @55sturn @freshloveforthefit @lanai3mother

[marleyybluu]

Oh sista you ate baaaaad with Don Julio even tho we all know none of us needed liquor help when it comes to that man, I am wide open sober papacito ya tú sabes 🥵🤤

Don Julio 2

Best friends brother!Rio x f!black!OC (Honey)

Word count: 3.5k

Content Warning: 18+, smut under your fingernails, p in v, creampie (bcus I have a serious problem atp), two dummies who think no one notices they’re into each other, a bit of flirting, oral (f receiving), we are in missionary today, Rio wears rings 🙃 :)

Lmk if I’m missing any idk I probably am

A/N: surprise, the Rio girlies get fed even though I don’t like this, some parts suck in my opinion but I hate everything I write so what’s new. Not proofread sorry

Suddenly she was so... aware of him, of every molecule and particle that created his form.  Now, she notices his hands and the copious amount of rings he wore, how large and wide his palms were and how slender and long his fingers suddenly seemed. She took a swig from her can of Twisted Tea as she sat around one of the tables in their family's backyard. She didn't want to be here, it was too weird for her, but it was his birthday party. She'd been to all of his parties since they were kids and she figured the lack of her presence would be obvious.

She kept her distance though, only saying 'Happy birthday' and 'Here's your gift' when she arrived about two hours ago and hadn't said anything else to him since. But she couldn't keep her eyes off of him, the fantasies of what could've possibly happened that night haunt he in a pleasant way, but she just adored him from afar. Paying extra attention to whom he was talking to.

Vera.

She's a beautiful woman, Honey could give her that, she is probably the same age as him too. She'd been around the neighbourhood long ago but moved and would once in a while return home to visit. She raised her eyebrows, her eyes narrow as she attempted to read Vera's lips to know what they were discussing but she couldn't make out anything, this weird pang in her chest— possibly a smidge of jealousy, was an unnecessary and stupid feeling. She sighs and shifts her eyes to Cherry who had seemingly been watching her the whole time. Honey smiles innocently as if she hadn't just been ogling her brother for ten minutes. Cherry nods to the house, letting Honey know to meet her inside.

Honey excused herself from the table and waltzed her way in through the back door that led straight into their big kitchen, a few family members-- mostly men, were inside the living room watching football. Cherry cleared her throat, her way of announcing she was in the room. Honey spun on her heels and beamed. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just need help bringing some more drinks out."

She shrugs and they both head down to the basement and to the wall where various boxes of liquor, both strong and light, were propped up. She reaches for the Corona's and the Smirnoff's able to hold one of each. "Can you believe Vera's here? I swear that woman gets prettier with age." Cherry states and there's that kink in her chest again. Honey nods, afraid that if she mutters anything she'll give away the jealousy but her friend continues with; "I wonder if they've been hooking up." She reaches for more Twisted Teas and two boxes of White Claw's mostly for her consumption. Honey swallows and looks at her shoes. "What makes you think that?"

She smirks. "I went into his room, just to steal one of his sweaters, and I saw something pink under his bed,"

Oh god.

"I didn't touch it but I'm assuming they were some panties."

One of the boxes slipped from Honey's hands and crashed to the floor, it popped open and all the cans of Twisted Tea rolled in their own directions. Cherry chuckled. "Are you good?"

"Yeah... yeah, I just— sorry." She stammered, she squats down to pick up those that fell in front of her while her friend grabbed the scattered ones. "Here, take this box and I'll hold some of the cans." She says and they switch. Honey feels like she can't even look her friend in the eye, her cheeks feeling warm and if she was any lighter she'd be as red as a stoplight. They head back upstairs where they meet the birthday boy in the kitchen with his head in the fridge. "What do you want now?" Cherry asks with fake annoyance. He pops up and straightens his posture just like he did when he was younger getting caught doing something bad. "Came lookin' for some more drinks." He says pointing to the boxes, his eyes locked with Honey's and she swore she lost her balance for a split second.

Her face only getting hotter, he was a continuous reminder of that Sunday morning. Cherry raised her eyebrows as her eyes played ping-pong between the two, the silence was awkward and making her uncomfortable. She'd never seen the two be this strange. She dropped the cans and the box of drinks onto the counter, hard enough that the sound would snap the two out of whatever unearthly trance this was. Honey and Rio broke their staring contest, eyes bouncing off in different directions. He helped the two put the drinks in the cooler, he had a spliff tucked behind his ear, and he took it down offering it to his sister. She dismisses him and says she has to find their father, so she leaves the two alone, Rio puts the spliff between his lips and cups the free end with his hand, with his other hand he flicks the lighter and the small flame transfers over to the paper, burning it along with the kush.

Honey just watches him from the corner of her eye when he looks up she darts her eyes forward and begins to sway from side to side. He looks over at her. "Still don't smoke?"

"I do," She lied. "Occasionally." She didn't know why she fibbed, she just did. He chuckles calling her bluff and in some strange urge to prove to her friends older that she is mature enough to smoke, she takes it from him and inhales, she holds it and chokes once before coughing embarrassingly loud. He chuckles and takes the spliff from her, he pats her back but it is no help as she continuously coughs. Now it's becoming concerning. He puts the (still) lit spliff behind his ear and ushers her back inside in hopes of getting her some water.

"I-I'm fine, I sw- cough- I swear."

"Yeah fucking right, mama." He coos grabbing her a bottle from the fridge making sure he opens it for her before handing it to her. Honey tips her head back as she downs the bottle in desperate relief. She comes up for air and sighs with contentment. "Better?" He asks.

"Mhm." She nods and suddenly realizes they're both alone. In the house. In the kitchen. Honey clears her throat and opens her palm, a silent way of asking for the cap. He hands it to her and their fingers brush for a moment, she savours it, a shot of electricity running through her veins. He finds himself blushing and quickly retracts his hand, though he'd give anything to touch her soft skin again. "Thanks." She mutters. "Yeah."

There's that awkward silence and neither of them knows what to do. "Your fault anyway." She says under her breath with quick wit. "You're the one who knows you don't smoke. Why take it?"

"Why offer it to me?" She giggles, he takes it from behind his ear again and inhales as he lets her question sit in the air. He shrugs and blows the thin smoke away from her face. "Didn't think you'd take it."

Honey rolls her eyes. "You've always been like that." He responds. "Like what?" She asks. He shrugs and takes another drag. "What?" She repeats and he continues to serve her with silence. "Well, you've always been an asshole." Honey spits back, now it's his turn to roll his eyes. "Always been like that." She says mocking his words from earlier. They look at each other as the awkward silence becomes less so, it bleeds into a comfortable feeling with each other. Rio's eye quickly falls to her lips and back up to her and she catches it. She witnesses his want for her, dare she say it's a need. And between the head buzz of both kush and liquor his mask was faltering, the longer she stared the softer his features became for her.

"I need you to kiss me..." She whispers and trails off, the statement taking the both of them by surprise, he'd ask for reassurance but the slight desperation in her voice and the positiveness in her face were more than enough. Rio doesn't hesitate. He kisses her like his life depends on it and maybe it did. His hands cup her cheeks drawing her closer to him. Their bodies pressed against each other and the kiss quickly rose from slow and sweet to hot and steamy. She slides her hands under his shirt, her fingers dance along the warm skin of his smooth back. He licks her bottom lip as a response and she gladly invites him in. Honey feels herself stumbling back as their tongues fight in the name of lust, she finally hits the counter and is hoisted on top of it.

"Wait..." She mumbled but it fell on deaf ears as his lips met hers again, she moaned into the kiss and gently pushed him back. "Someone's gonna see us." She laughs breathlessly. It was a miracle no one did already. He wraps her legs around him and lifts her off the counter. "You sure about this?"

She nods and he carries her up the stairs while making sure the coast is clear. He takes her to his bedroom, the place where it all started, and closes the door and locks it. "How long do you think it'll be before anyone notices you gone?"

"Who would notice?"

She playfully flicks him against his temple. "You are the birthday boy remember?"

"Worry about it later." He huffed and before she could get another word out he shut her up with another kiss. His hands shift her dress up around her hips, the cold air of his room creates prickles against her mahogany skin. He rests her down on the bed, her back contacting the very soft comforter and the memorable mattress. The best damn sleep she ever had was on that thing. His lips travel to her jawline and along the side of her neck. She turns her head giving him more access to her sweet spot he so seemingly remembers.

Her toes curl at the teasing, the anticipation, for once she wanted to skip foreplay and just go straight to it. Her eyes flutter as he sucks on her supple skin in hopes he'd leave a mark, another thing to spark her memory of him. Honey softly moans when his fingertips play with the strings of her thong, pulling them down and exposing her wet and needy pussy. She gasps at the friction from the band of his boxers rubbing against her swelling clit. Her eyes wander the room and land on his doorknob, she squints and giggles. "What?"

"Are... are those my panties hanging from your door?" She snorts. He quickly turns his head and blushes. "Maybe."

"You want these too?"

"Don't tempt me." He says before attaching his lips to her neck once again. She lightly scratches at his back. and whines as her aching hole clenches around nothing. He finally undoes his jeans, and the sound of his belt hitting the floor only adds to the tension, she almost whimpers when his shirt is next to go and his body is on display for her and her only. Rio's hands waste no time caressing the back of her legs as he pushes them back, his eyes so fixated on her swollen sex, he places his thumb on top of her clit and rubs slow circles on her sensitive nub. She sighs with pleasure as her eyes close, his thumb soon trails down her slit collecting her slick.

His middle and ring fingers follow the same path before they find their way inside her. "Oh." Honey mewled as they planted themselves deeper, her eyes slowly rolled to the back of her skull when he started playing with her pussy. He pushed his fingers in and took them out at a languid pace. The sounds of her wet pussy squelching with every pump of his fingers erupted through the room, bouncing into his ears and running straight to his dick as if it couldn't get any harder. He had to make this quick before anyone got suspicious.

"I promise mama, next time I'll take real good care of you." Rio coos in her ear before pulling away and ridding himself of his pants and boxers.

Honey softly whines and clenches at the promise of a next time. She watched his painfully hard dick spring out and hit his lower abdomen with a hard this. Her eyes slightly widened as if was her first time seeing him. Wondering how she took all that. "You scared now?"

Honey sat up on her elbows and shook her head, she looked up at him through her fresh set of lashes. She slowly spreads her legs wider. His eyes fall between them and his tongue swipes his bottom lip. "Next time..." He softly repeats to himself as a reminder. "Next time..." He pulls her to the end of the bed and drops to his knees in front of her, he can't wait until next time. He just needed a little taste.

His head disappears between her thighs and she's greeted with the warmth of his tongue between her swollen lips she glitches at the contact but soon relaxes when a kiss is pressed against her clit before it was followed up with his tongue once more. Her eyelids fluttered. He was practically making out with her pussy, wet and sloppy sounds made themselves known-- thank goodness the music could drown them out. Gasps and whines leave her lips, her toes curl, her body rendering her powerless against his regime, especially when his thumb starts to tease her hole with small circles.

His hands ran over the back of her thighs and hooked in the space provided behind her knees. She's writhing under his touch, her hands gripping onto his sheets for dear life. "Oooooh, yeeeesss." She slurs lost in her pleasure.

Rio smiles at her continuous babbling, half the words he could barely make out himself. Honey's moans were going straight to his dick making him harder than ever it was almost painful. He, unwillingly, pulls away and she lets out a frustrated sigh. He smacks her thigh and shakes his head. "You're getting what you want, mama, relax. Yeah?"

He gives her no time to respond before he guides himself inside her heat, she's beyond wet and sticky, he knew he wouldn't last. Her back arches with every inch he puts inside her, she cries out as her hand quickly flies to his lower abdomen. "Fuck, wait..." She protests, swearing she can't take anymore.

"Honey, if you don't move that hand." His tone let her know it was a warning, she whines as she takes her hand back. Her jaw slacks so much it touches her chest, he's in and he's in deep. He retracts only a little bit before going in for more. He drives his hips into hers at a tantalizing rhythm. Honey's head falls onto the soft mattress, she lays there and all she can do is take what he's giving to her like a good girl.

A string of poetic and vulgar moans leave her system, telling him how big he is, how deep he is and how good he's making her feel. He can only respond with his grunts and praises, leaning over to bury his head in the crook of her neck, whispering some of the filthiest things she'd ever heard. "That pussy is soaking for me, huh? Guess it wasn't the Don Julio, after all, you fucking like this?"

All she can do is nod, the air from her lungs has been knocked out. The bed is rocking, creaking to the beat of his strokes, the small fear of being caught or heard had dissipated and her sole focus was on the man on top of her. "Yes, yes, yes!"

Her nails dig into his flesh while his teeth graze over her neck, his tongue gracing the same area. Rio pounded into her until he felt her tighten around him, he looked at her to catch her love faces. The way her jaw drops and her eyes roll to the back of her head, her eyelids fluttering from the intense pleasure and the euphoric feeling. And he just keeps going. Dragging it out, making sure she lets out everything. All of it. But she can't take it anymore, it feels good but she's so sensitive from the explosive orgasm, that her hand goes back to his lower abdomen.

And Honey gasps out of shock when her hands are suddenly pinned to the bed and above her head. "I told you to move your fucking hand didn't I?"

"Fuck! Baby, I can't take it." She pleads. "But you took it so well last time mama. I remember it."

Her eyes gloss over. "Telling me you don't remember? The way you kept asking me, begging me for more. For me to go deeper, for me to fill you up all the way."

She nods lazily, though she can barely tell what she's agreeing with. "Yeah? So, you can take it. Look how well you're doing right now."

Rio mumbles into her neck, he lets go of her hands and they immediately hug around his neck. "There she is." Her heels dig into his lower back, she wanted it deeper if it was possible. "Fuck me, please." She whines and it's barely a whisper. He pushes himself deep and stills his hips. "You asked so nicely darlin'." He rasps.

She's pinned between his body and the mattress, she could feel a devilish smirk against her skin before he isolates his hips— rotating them sloooowly. He's losing it too, just trying to keep his cool but he was at his tipping point. His tip nudging against her g-spot and her lush walls contracting around him. "You wanna cum baby?" She whispers and now it's his turn to nod as he loses his words. "You can cum inside me." She purrs feeling another orgasm pulling through. Rio plunged into her, she's coating him with her sticky pleasure. He stills once more and soon he's pouring everything into her, she giggles lazily. "Mmm, so warm."

He chuckled and shook his head planting a passionate kiss on her cheek. And they lay like that for a while, vibing in their post-coital glow— sweaty, hot and satisfied.

But as time passes they realize they have to go back before anyone truly notices anything. He cleans her up and himself and then begins to get dressed, in silence, which feels awkward. Neither of them knew what to say.

After they get dressed, Rio sneaks out first just in case anyone is inside the house— especially on the lookout for his sister but when he confirms the coast is clear he knocks on the door twice to let Honey know they are fine. The small action causes her to smile to herself. "I have to fix my hair." She softly says and hears a muffled, "Take your time, baby."

Her heart leaps and the little girl inside her begins to glow which causes her cheeks to heat up and if she were any lighter she'd look like a tomato.

After making sure she looked decent she creeps out of his room and closes the door quietly, but as she heads to the top of the steps she hears, "Honey?"

You've got to be kidding.

She quickly spins on her heels and smiles, seeing Cherry in the door frame of the bathroom, she reaches to turn off the light and crosses her arms right after.

"Hi, Cherry."

Her friend's eyes dart between her and the bedroom door. "What are you doing in Rio's room?"

Honey's throat had suddenly run dry and her brain had flushed all the excuses in the world. She had nothing to say. What could she say? It wouldn't be believable regardless. Her mouth opened with the incentive to speak but nothing but croaks of awkwardness.

"Are you-"

"Honey!" A sudden call comes from downstairs. It's Rio looking up at them from the first floor. "Have you seen- oh there she is. Honey and I were looking for you. Bring your big heads downstairs I'm cutting the cake."

She could feel a bead of sweat forming at her hairline. "I'm getting the second slice!" Honey childishly announces bolting down the stairs. "No! I am!" Cherry follows suit and they both bolt down the stairs. Honey slows down allowing her friend to pass her. She squeezes his arm as a silent thank you and he nods at her.

Everyone is outside and gathered around the table waiting for the three of them to arrive. Cherry and Honey stand with the birthday boy as their mom lights the candles.

"One... two... three."

They begin to sing, and while everyone is looking at him he can only pay attention to one person. Honey. She giggles and puts her head down trying to hide her ginormous smile. Everyone else was too busy singing to notice, but Cherry... oh Cherry noticed. Something was going on and she needed to find out.

Now.

🏷️: @darqchilddaydreamz @rio-reid-whoreee @skyesthebomb @realhotgurlshit @lovedlover @librarian1002

Might be interested: @bigenergy777 @educatorsareslutstoo

If you would like to be on the tag list, or removed lmk. If I missed you, sorry, I don’t have these tag lists written down (I should )

[maxsimagination]

𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 - 𝗸.𝗰𝗼𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆-𝗰𝗿𝗼𝘀𝘀

summary: kyra and yn both like each other and only start to make loves after charli becomes a pest.

𖦹 masterlist

"𝗦𝗢 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗔𝗥𝗘 you and kyra gonna start dating?"

i was caught completely off guard at that statement by charli. "huh?" all the eloquence left my body when i responded. "you and kyra. we all see it. you two make heart eyes behind the others' back all the time."

i could feel the blush creep onto my cheeks and around the nape of my neck. "i don't know what you're on about." it came out as a mumble but charli heard me.

"yn i can see you blushing. can you just ask her out already? the amount of times i've had to listen to her harp on about you is giving me headaches." i didn't know what to say to that either. "she talks about me?" charli looked dumbfounded that i picked up that piece of information out of everything else.

"yes, now can you please go and kiss her to shut her up?"

"you first. i'm not kissing anybody." it was then that kyra herself came over to join us, and had caught the last bit of what i had said. "who's kissing who?" "nothing, no one." i immediately shut it down and charli couldn't seem to find anything funnier. "so i'm gonna go now.." charli started to walk off.

"charlotte layne grant!" my voice held a warning for her that she knew she cop later. she didn't seem to care tho and ran off with a cheeky grin on her face.

me and kyra were left there, the latter not knowing what was going on. "what the fuck?" kyra whispered out at what had just occurred in front of her. "charli likes to screw around with us." i attempted to explain to my best friend of 5 years. a grin broke out on her face as she understood what i was trying to say.

"you got that right. wanna go to lunch with me?" i agreed happily and we headed for her car. what we didn't know was that charli had recruited katrina and they were both watching us from afar.

we went out to a local cafe and i took a seat at a table while kyra went up to order for the both of us; we did this together that often that she knew what i liked off by heart. she came to sit back down and the food followed soon after. we couldn't eat too much because we had training later on in the day.

it was a comfortable silence when we ate, and small talk about anything and everything when we weren't. i just felt so comfortable around her, she was the one thing in my life that i would sacrifice everything for, even my career.

we were in the middle of talking about something we'd both seen on the media, i had pulled out my phone to show kyra, and i saw her looking at me in the corner of my eye. as charli would have put it, she was making 'heart eyes' at me.

i thought back to the conversation i had with the young blonde earlier and her words echoed in my head. 'we all see it.' and 'you both make heart eyes at each other when the other isn't looking.' it got me thinking that maybe i should take that next step, maybe i should take a risk and ask her out.

my anxiety pulled my mind back down to reality, reminding myself of what could happen if she in fact didn't like me like that. everything would be ruined, the team dynamic and the bond we have going for over 5 years. and everyone would know. that's the last thing i needed. i looked back up to kyra who had just finished her food while i, on the other hand, was only halfway due to my daydreaming about the girl sitting opposite me.

"whatcha thinking about?" you. "oh nothing. just got distracted by something outside." i lied through my teeth to her face, i couldn't tell her now. i needed to at least get through training. then if she hated me i could pack up and move to england again.

we finished up, more like i finished while kyra waited patiently, then paid for the food and went back to the hotel the matilda's were staying in. i didn't even bother to go to my room, it was always one of us in the others room and this time it was my turn.

i flopped on her bed, starfishing in the middle, and taking up all the space. "yn move, i wanna lie down too." i shuffled over and held my arms out for her to fall into. she did just that, falling down onto me face first. we stayed like that for god knows how long before i checked the time and had a mini heart attack that we would be late. "i don't wanna leave."

"if we don't go, tony will skin us and drop us off the team." my tone was serious but my face betrayed how i felt.

with a groan she got off me and i grabbed my phone to go get changed in my room. "i'll come back to get you." i called out behind me and closed the door. as soon as i got into my own room i grabbed the first pair of any training gear i saw, changed the quickest i've ever changed and headed back to kyra's room.

it had only been 5 minutes, tops, so i knocked before hearing a barley audible 'come in!' and opening the door. kyra poked her head out from the bathroom and grinned at me. "geez, your quick. that desperate to get back to me, huh?"

i rolled my eyes at her antics, "you wish, ky." i shot back at her. "hurry up, let's go." she yelled back saying she was coming then ran back out to get her shoes on. we left to head down to the field where training was held. when we walked in together, both katrina and charli raised their eyebrows at me in a teasing manner.

i just flipped them off discreetly, trying not to catch kyra's attention.

——

we had just finished doing the last lap tony had ordered and i flopped onto the ground. the other girls were walking around, everyone was sweating their asses off and some had gone to the changing rooms already. kyra came over and stood above me with a sweaty grin.

“are you dead yet?"

"shut up, ky."

i managed to get out. she held her hands out for me to take and i did. when she pulled me up i came face to face, only an inch away from her. our hands had instinctively gone to my waist and her neck.

my eyes flicked down to her lips then back up to her eyes, just in time to see her doing the same to me. i thought back to charli and decided fuck it. "ky, do you wanna be my girlfriend?" it was silent for a second then kyra broke it and kissed me. i reacted instantly, kissing back and pulling her tighter against me.

she did the same with her arms around my waist, one of her hands trailing down to my ass, just resting there. we pulled apart and breathed heavily before i spoke up.

"so i'll take that as a yes?" before she could respond there was a shout from across the field. "finally!" it was katrina and charli, the latter being the one that yelled. "i knew you could do it yn!" while katrina just stood their smirking, even throwing out a wolf whistle. i shook my head at the two and turned back to kyra.

we grinned at each other and i whispered,

"finally."

[ilovehimyourhonour]

17 & 34 with jungwonieee ✨

6.55pm

📂 bf! yang jungwon x fem! reader . jungwon being whipped . inspo — prompt 17: A random “I love you.” + prompt 34: Them simply admiring their lover in silence .

a/n yet again not as great as I wanted it to be :( idk something about these endings—they just ate giving. but enjoy ig.

navigation

Heeseung had been the first to take notice the leaders silence, and the others caught on not long after. They knew Jungwon’s quietness wasn’t one of anger, or annoyance, or sadness, and when they had found the tender look that was plastered across his face, the boys had all silently agreed that they were going to tease their leader for it once you left the dorms later that night. His soft brown eyes were glazed over and the corners of his lips tilted upwards in a admiring smile, and it was all for you.

Jungwon watched you with his heart and his soul, everything within him revolved around you. “She’s not even doing anything,” Jake had muttered to Heeseung—who simply nodded and continued to watch Jungwon ignore everyone else in the room but you.

Even when you excused yourself from the room, having to use the bathroom after drinking your whole can of iced tea, Jungwon’s attention was still—somehow—wrapped around you. He watched the doorway you had just disappeared through, waiting and waiting for your return. “Do you think she’s okay?” Your boyfriend asked, you’d barely been gone for two minutes but without you by his side Jungwon felt…cold and…lonely. And before anyone could respond to his ridiculous question he spoke up again. “I’m gonna go check on her,” he pushed himself from the floor and began shuffling after you.

As he reached up to knock on the bathroom door, it gave away—and you stood staring up at him with a look of shock. “Everything alright ‘Wonie?” You place your hands on his chest, his heart beats rapidly at the casual touch. He merely nods, taking your hands in his and leading you back to the group.

“Oh, so she was okay?” Ni-ki chuckles.

“Was I in danger?” You ask as you fall back onto the floor, bringing your knees to your chest.

“Your boyfriend seemed to think so,” Jay mutters with a smirk.

“No I didn’t,” Jungwon blushed as he slipped onto the floor next to you, his body a little closer than before. His warmth radiated off of him in large waves, and tho you were wrapped in one of Jungwon’s hoodies—you still found yourself shivering a bit. Perhaps being away from Jungwon had made you cold and lonely as well.

The boys began a new conversation, something on Sunoo’s phone bringing the attention away from the both of you. Jungwon slipped his hand into yours as you shuffled farther into his warmth, your head resting on his shoulder as he uses his free hand to twirl strands of your hair.

“I should head home soon,” your words stay between the two of you.

“Stay with me tonight,” you sigh and shake your head softly. “Then I’ll stay with you.”

“You have practice tomorrow morning. But next time you have a day off I’m all yours,” your boyfriend’s heart thumps faster against your ear—bringing a soft smile to your lips. “You can come by mine tomorrow, or I can come see you, or we can go somewhere. But only if you want to.”

You gently fumbled with the materiel of his shirt, he softly stroked along the length of your hair—and tho you sat amongst the other boys, these soft touches were private. Your conversation had been a whisper, words solely for the two of you—but Jungwon’s next words were spoken much louder than he had imagined they’d be.

“I’m so in love with you.”

© ilovehimyourhonour

[cozzzynook]

Omg love the Roddy angst! Can we have some Roddy tenderness to balance it out? His Lover(s) caring for him, cuddling and being sweet?

“What are you doing?”

Turning from the mixer, a bowl of glowing sweet energon in his servos, resting on the top of his large swollen tank, Rodimus raised his optic ridges in surprise and inquiry at Drifts sudden appearance and question.

“What are you doing back so soon Drift? Did you get to leave your shift early?”

Rodimus didn’t see a problem at all with his question but it seems Drift did and so did Ratchet who joined the swords mech in the doorway to their hab suite.

“Kid what are you doing up at this hour?”

Oh yeah. Thats right.

It was midnight and his newly conjunx weren’t off shift early but off shift on time.

He was the one who was up early.

But thats because he couldn’t recharge without them both by his side. Along with their sparklings who were craving something so fierce it woke him from his light power down when he actually managed to enter a form of recharge.

“They woke me up wanting something sweet,” he rested a servo beneath the round ball of his tanks that wouldn’t let him see his own pedes, rubbing the sensitive plating to feel a hyperactive kick that he can’t help loving but wishing would stop hurting.

It was Drift who snuck up on Rodimus and slid his servos along his tanks putting them beneath the heavy girth and slowly, ever so gently lifting the heavy weight making Rodimus’s shoulders drop all tension and ex-vent with a serious relief he drops his helm back onto Drifts shoulder close to his neck cables.

“See Roddy? You should be resting in the berth. You could’ve called us and asked for your craving. We would’ve made it for you.”

Ratchet came and took the bowl that was snug atop Rodimus’s tanks, tasting some of the energon and humming in approval. He began making the dish he knew their sparklings often made Rodimus crave. He planted a kiss to Rodimus’s cheek and then Drift’s forehelm. Giving Drift a nod when the swords mech helped slowly shift Rodimus back into their suite and into their nest.

The heavy sigh of relief from Rodimus told them he’d been standing for a while.

At this stage, the second phase of carrying, typically bots wouldn’t be this huge or tired but since himself and Drift managed to pump Rodimus full with two heavy sparklings, he was far bigger than normal.

He was mixing the energon where Rodimus left off putting the sweet treat in the freezer instead of the oven like most would do. This particular dish was normally served hot but their sparklings wanted the treat cold and so Rodimus ate the dish as a frozen dessert. It was still delicious but they monitored how much he consumed since it was far sweeter like this.

“Ratty come quick.”

The light laugh from Drift told him Rodimus had fallen into recharge and when he walked inside their berthroom to see Rodimus indeed had fallen asleep, he smiled.

“Fuels done,” Ratchet announced quietly, moving to lay on the other side of the berth.

They wanted Rodimus to sleep in the middle since his carrying began but he said he couldn’t rest comfortably there anymore and he wanted them to be able to cuddle each other and they couldn’t with Rodimus having to sleep on propped up pillows sitting up.

“Did you imagine we could have this?”

“This? A family? Being conjunx? Living peacefully? Being happy?”

“Yeah,” Drift whispered, touching his cheek as he laid on his side.

Rodimus was snoring lightly and they couldn’t stop a small laugh from freeing itself.

“I’d lost hope quite a few times honestly,” Ratchet was able to smile, “but meeting you two..being here beside you even before everything officially started. Gave me the hope I once feared.”

“Aw Ratty you really are a sap,” Drifts teasings were cut short by Ratchet elbowing him and Rodimus venting as he tried to shift.

“Watch it kid, or else I’ll really pull out the big guns.”

“Oh yeah? I used to be a gun slinger baby. I can take it.”

Ratchet smirked trying to hide how funny he thought Drifts words were as he closed his optics.

The two held each other, em field surrounding Rodimus who was so deep in recharge his own em field made them tired.

The feeling was welcome though because they were safe in their nest with their conjunx resting as he should be while the two talked quietly until they fell to recharge themselves.

Life was good.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

More Clone Wars headcanons that I keep basing off me and my family cause where else am I gonna get inspo from

Both Anakin and Ahsoka try to keep their shared space as clean as possible 

Whenever they’re home and have free time after a long mission they’ll go around and pick up messes and they’ve got a somewhat decent system going until they get to the dishes that’s when war breaks out 

Normally people switch between who loads and who unloads but most of the time it just falls on Ahsoka to do both and she’s tried literally everything to get him to do the dishes

She’s made a chore chart, she’s let the dishes pile so high they’re at risk of all falling out, and she’s ratted him at to Obi-Wan but nothing works except giving him a challenge 

One day out of the blue she said something like “Last one to scale the wall washes the dishes when we get home!” 

And here’s the thing they’ve been doing these competitions for years so she knows he’s more than down 

Rex claims he’s never seen two people climb a wall faster in his life “They were like a blur” is something he mumbled after the two probably broke the galaxies record 

Ahsoka won by pure determination alone her sore arms and scraped-up hands would be worth it when she got home and wouldn't have to do the dishes

Even tho their shared space is relatively clean Anakin’s room is like a death trap

Random clothing items are strewn all over the floor and pieces of droids are scattered among them the first time Ahsoka walked into the room she almost ate shit twice and if it wasn’t for her training she would have hit the floor the second she stepped inside 

It’s a genuine miracle that he’s able to navigate this landmine of crap especially cause he doesn’t have night vision like she does 

Ever since I heard Ahsoka growl that one time I’ve been imagining her doing rottie rumbles (which just means she growls when she’s happy look it up it’s adorable) 

The first time it happened was when Ahsoka and Anakin were watching a movie and they fell asleep 

He woke up basically on top of her and heard quiet rumbling coming from the togruta he quickly got off cause he thought he was hurting her and she woke up confused he asked if she was in pain and all she said was that was the best she had slept in a while 

The next time was when the two had to share a bed with Obi-Wan it ended up working in their favor cause the planet they were on was freezing 

She started to growl again but the two men were 1. Too tired to move and 2. Kind of curious why she was growling 

When nothing changed and she didn’t seem to be exuding any kind of pain or stress they stayed 

After a couple of times Anakin and Obi-Wan managed to calm down this instinctual part of themselves that told them to back up when something growls 

The first time Padme witnessed it was during a big old group hug between her, her husband Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka 

She almost gave it to that instinct if it wasn’t for Anakin and Obi-Wan's calm demeanor 

Honestly it’s kind of become a telltale sign of who’s close to Ahsoka cause most people that she’s comfortable with know the difference between her happy grumbles and the growls that mean she wants to tear someones face off

Both Anakin and Ahsoka hate going to the med bay and the halls of healing or any place that’s got a person with medical training and tools to poke and prod them  

And the healers hate them for it because most of the time the last thing they want to do is chase down a Jedi and his padawan as they’re bleeding out

So most of them banned together to give the duo a pretty extensive first aid kit and teach them both how to use it 

Because for some kriffing reason they’re okay with being poked and prodded at if it isn’t a medical professional

The duo also participates in a decent amount of first aid training which has saved both of them and many other's so no one complains when they skip out on kind of important duties for those classes

As someone who has a lot of older siblings who I’m not related to so it wasn’t uncommon for people to tell me how attractive my siblings were 

So I’m just imagining the other padawans telling Ahsoka how lucky she is to have Anakin as a mentor and while they’re complimenting him she notices a lot of those comments were centered around his age and his looks 

At one point she’s sick of it and just straight up confronts them about it and they turn around and go “Well don’t you agree?” she alternates between being hunched over laughing and hunched over gagging 

Anakin finds her a little while later still stuck in this sick cycle surrounded by a group of concerned padawans 

He tries to get her help cause she’s kinda freaking him out but she stops him and just guides them both away because she knows if he shows more protective older brother energy the padawans are gonna be even more weird 

Literally everyone is too scared to mention Ahsoka’s physical appearance around Anakin 

But there have been a couple of times when he’s on an off-world mission and witnessed some dumb kids pushing their friends in her direction because it’s obvious they think she’s pretty

God forbid they catch a glimpse of him while it’s happening tho cause they walk away shaking like a leaf  

He doesn’t think Ahsoka noticed and even if she did he distracted her with boba and ice cream because she can never turn that combo down

[rheareadsss]

Mistake 16

I hope you guys enjoy!🤍

••••••

Gwyn wrapped her arms around Nesta and hugged her tightly, her eyes were on her mate for a minute but then she looked away to hug and look at her friends. Emerie joined in on the hug “I missed you both” Gwyn exclaimed as she hugged Emerie as well

“Happy Solstice” Rhys said while kissing Feyre in the forehead, Feyre hugged him and instantly Nyx was giving him his arms to hold him

Gwyn cried while holding her girls, Emerie and Nesta were not too far off “we’ve missed you Gwyn”

“Tell us everything!” Emerie exclaimed

Gwyn smiled and nods “of course”

Rhys looked at Azriel, he was glued to his spot but a small smile was forming on his lips. He watched as Nesta and Emerie sat around the table with Gwyn in the middle, they served her a plate and began bombarding her with questions.

He listened as she talked about Valhalla, Monterese and many other places she visited. She talked about her friendship with Lucien and Vassa, she informed them that while Jurien was there she didn’t really bonded with him.

“Have you dated?” Emerie asks

Nesta glanced at Azriel quickly, she knew Gwyn’s answer could break him “of course, I’m single now tho”

“Who are you and what have you done to Gwyn?” Cassian asks a bit exaggerated

Gwyn laughs but then clears her throat “she got more life experiences?” She ended with a smile, she didn’t feel like the girl from before whom shied away from Azriel. She no longer feels bothered by his silent presence.

After they ate they moved to the living room and the conversation continued, Gwyn told the girls about Kelvan and Nesta filled her in everything she missed along with Emerie.

“I am officially in a relationship” Emerie announced

“What?”

Mor went and sat next to Emerie “don’t play coy, you knew before everyone else”

Gwyn laughs “you’re right, I did see you in out apartment once or twice”

Emerie blushed

“It’s been a real challenge to get Emerie to training now” Cassian announced

“Lies! I’m always on time” Emerie exclaims

Everyone laughs, Gwyn could feel his gaze on her. It was a torture not to look at him, she could tell he was trying to control his shadows from searching for her.

Gwyn spied as her shadow peaked from behind his wig, when her eyes landed on him it seemed as if it almost perk up. She gave it a smile and instantly the shadow disobeyed his master and ran to get lost in her hair.

She truly had missed that cold wisp of his shadows when they get lost in her hair or the way they wrap around her fingers or wrists, a second shadow went to her and the first one found his way around her neck like it always had.

It was time to exchange gifts and Gwyn had gone home to get hers, she handed everyone a gift that she brought from all throughout her trips.

Azriel went and sat next to her, he saw an open opportunity as Emerie was sitting with Mor and Nesta was opening gifts with Cassian. Gwyn was carrying Nyx. As soon as he sat down Nyx gave him a wide smile, the baby really loved him.

“He has grown hasn’t he?” He starts small talk

“Definitely, do you visit often?” Gwyn asks him now looking at him

“I’m sometimes the designated baby sitter” he admits shyly

Gwyn chuckles “really?”

“Yeah, everyone is already paired off and have plans most of the time” he admits “if not me then Nuala or Cerridwen” he adds

Gwyn smiles and shakes her head

“how you been?” He asks her while he holds one of Nyxs hand

“I’ve been good, how about you?”

“Not so great” he admits “there is so much I need to talk to you about”

“Rhys filled me in, you don’t have to if it hurts you” she adds with a whisper

Azriel nods “I’m sorry for putting you through this” he adds in a whisper

Gwyn only gives him a small smile

“I don’t know if this is the same pain you went through but I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have” he adds

Gwyn nods “I’m settling in but how about we talk some time?”

Azriel gives her a smile “I’d love that”

•

Gwyn had gone to the cabin the next day to spent the day with them and of course see who won the yearly snow fight, everyone had their money on Rhys or Cassian due to Azriel’s state. Gwyn knew that his competitive side wouldn’t let them, one of the many things they have in common, their competitive streak.

It came to a lot of shock and no surprise to her that he actually won, she cheered him on which made him smile widely.

She hugged him and then everyone went to eat, she helped out in the kitchen as everyone digged in. She sat next to Nesta and Cassian, Azriel was busy talking with Rhys.

“He’s finally eating like normal” Cassian said towards Nesta

“He wasn’t eating?” Gwyn asks

“He was” Nesta says “but his appetite wasn’t the same, this is the most I’ve seen him eat in a while” she adds

Gwyn nods and got to talking with Nesta about the plans for the rest of the day.

The girls went outside so Nyx would see the snow, Feyre was carrying him when Nesta started a snowball fight. She hit Cassian until Cassian got a mischievous look on his face and started chasing her. Rhys got a smile on his face and Feyre only raised her eyebrow, still holding Nyx.

Mor threw Amren a snow ball and a fight broke out, Gwyn quickly geared up and assisted Emerie and Nesta on taking Cassian and Azriel down. She truly had missed her family.

•

Gwyn was wrapped in a blanket and holding a hot chocolate cup when Azriel sat next to her “is this okay?”

She nods “what’s going on Az?” She asks while sipping her hot chocolate

He wore comfortable warm clothing, everyone was inside the cabin drinking and playing board games. “How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m actually glad to be back, I missed everyone” she admits “including you despite everything”

He smiled

“Are you okay? You don’t look like yourself” she says concerned about him

“I’m doing fine, taking it day by day” he admits

“Rhys told me about the suppressants, are they working?” She meets his gaze

He nods “yeah, I mean I’m not jumping on you right now” he jokes “I found out that our bond has been accepted but not really fulfilled in a way?”

“I understand, if it gets too much to be around me I can take another traveling trip” she said with a smile

“No, you shouldn’t have to Gwyn, this is your home as much as it is mine” he says with a sad smile “if anything I would just go to hewn city, that’s where I work from most of the time”

She places her hand on top of his “let’s hope it doesn’t have to come to that”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go for it”

Azriel rubs her hand with his thumb “do you think I would get another chance?”

Gwyn sighs “Az, you knew” she starts “I told you about our bond before you got engaged and didn’t do anything, we were close, we spent a lot of hours together and basically were there for each other and you never felt that way for me”

“Gwyn-“

“No, let me” says interrupts him “you and I were close and yes I developed feelings for you but you never did for me, right now what I think is that you only want a relationship with me because of the bond, not because you love me for me” she finally says what she feels

“Gwyn I have to admit that I was obsessed with the idea of Elain that I was blinded to my feelings towards you, I don’t want to excuse myself but I think I never allowed myself to think of you that way, you are a priestess and it felt wrong to do so” he admits

Gwyn nods “I get that”

“I want a chance to redeem myself, I want to show you that I really do love you and not only because of the bond” he adds

Gwyn sighs “it would take some time Az, maybe years? I was really hurt with everything” she admits

“I’m willing to wait, I’m willing to fight for you Gwyn not because I feel entitled to you no, because you deserve better and I want to be that for you, I want to earn your love, I want to fight for you because you deserve that, nothing less” he says while looking in to her eyes

Gwyn nods and Azriel placed a kiss on top of her hand.

Tag list_

@rcarbo1 @sillyfreakfanparty

[klanceyuri]

drag me into place / and lock the fire escapes (i'll break your pretty face

summary: wherein Sasuke wants them to love him, even though everyone gets hurt

tags: hurt/comfort, through the ages, aromantic Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto r both alloromantic, suggestive themes, complicated relationships

authors note: it took me a week to write this lmao, worth it tho

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54574129

It hurts every single time they say it.

And in spite of how much it makes him hurt when he hears words he knows he can never say back the same way, he wants them to say it. To confirm he's still worthwhile, that someone out there could want him even though he can't want back in the same way. He wants them to say those three magic words and know that they mean it and feel the burn of disgust course through him even though he needs them.

He bites his tongue when they say it, to refrain from saying 'I don't' when in fact he does in ways he doesn't quite understand himself. He understands that Sakura needs to go be with girls sometimes and that Naruto is content where he is now. He understands that he revels in the way his thigh fits between Sakura's and the way Naruto's fangs sink into his skin.

But he does not understand how he yearns aside from the fact it's different and detached in a way that makes him feel like a predator. Like a monster. Like he's broken. Like he needs to be put aside so he won't hurt anyone this way ever again. They let him hurt them. They know he can't ever be with them the way that they're with each other, and they know they're pouring all of their love into a black hole- but they do it anyways.

Sakura says 'I love you' and it makes his skin crawl as he nods in response because he can't say it back. He squeezes her hand a little bit tighter as if to say 'I'm sorry' without verbalizing it. She just smiles in response to that as he lets the discomfort simmer down into a veritable pleasure at the thought of being wanted.

Naruto says 'I love you' and it nearly makes him gag as he tries to choke out a weak 'okay' when nothing else will suffice. He let's his lover kiss him once on the cheek after that and he hums softly and whispers 'sorry' under his breath. Naruto grins, a softer one than normal, but he lets Sasuke process those three words as long as he needs.

"This isn't working," Sasuke would say in the mornings when they ate breakfast and sipped on glasses of water and tea. He's stopped saying it so frequently, but he still wakes up and feels utterly monstrous as he cannot return the feeling somedays.

"What do ya mean, Sasuke?" Naruto would ask in response as he glanced up from his plate of food. He never understood it when Sasuke said that, he still doesn't because this situation he has is everything he's ever wanted.

"I'm not." Then he'd pause with a stiff exhale, "I don't love you guys the way you love me."

"And?" Sakura asked back sharply. Almost aggressively. They knew their situation, they knew the ins and outs of Sasuke Uchiha better than anyone else. And much to his chagrin, they both wanted him to stay and do so much more than stay.

Sasuke always went silent when Sakura said that one word. It was a challenge. 'Prove to us why we shouldn't love you, Sasuke' is what she was really saying. And Sasuke could never come up with a better reason than 'because I can't' and that was never enough to turn them away from him. He hurts them when he doesn't say it back, and they hurt him when they say it to his face; it's a mutual thing that he isn't ready to give up even if he tries to shrug it off.

It hurts the most when they say it in bed. When they're fucking him, letting him be wanted in the only way he knows how and then they drop those three words and he hisses in pain. He's a masochist but he can't take anything in the realm of emotion. They say it between kisses and tight grasps and he knows they say it out of habit but it still hurts and cuts into him because he can't say it back.

Well, he can say it back, but they'd know that something was wrong. He can say he loves them even when the words taste like acid on his tongue and feel so wrong. He can say that he needs them and they nod along and maybe it makes them feel uncomfortable and that strikes fear deep into Sasuke. Etches terror into his flesh because it's the closest he'll get to loving them and they don't feel it back.

They need each other and he third wheels along. He lives in their house, eats their food, sleeps in their bed, wears their clothing, and propels them both further forward into strength and excellence. He needs them but he doesn't love them. And they love him but they don't need him. He tells himself that at the least. They never say they need him because they're sure they make it clear enough without saying it.

Sasuke leaves when they say it in bed after it happens one time too many. He pushes away Sakura and leaves Naruto and runs a shower as they wait patiently to find out what went wrong. Where they misstepped. How they can make it better. How to make sure that Sasuke won't leave them because he's the third piece of the puzzle and everything feels wrong without him even if he doesn't realize it. They bicker and try to pinpoint how they messed up as the water runs, any semblance of arousal dying in an instant the second Sasuke leaves.

He's the spark. They're the kindling. He's the fire. And they revel in the way he burns through them without so much as a second thought. He's the ashes that smolder and die down without full attention and they stoke the flames and keep him properly maintained because he'd fall apart without them. And even though he can't give what he takes, they'd fall apart without him.

Flowers and chocolates lay on his desk on valentines day and he chokes down bile as they smile. They want him. They still want him no matter how hard he tries to explain to them that he doesn't fit, they still want him. He reads the card as he eats the cherry flavored chocolates and they used words he uses. They wrote in a way that he could understand, that he could get, in a way that doesn't make him feel terrible. Sure, it's stilted and rushed and imperfect, but it's done in a way that makes Sasuke feel… human.

He knows he doesn't fit in with them, but he also can't help the slight ache in his bones at the fact that they love him so much they wrote an entire card without any of the phrases that make him feel ill. He'd frame it if he didn't have to save face, instead he heads out to the shops and marches through streets lined with red hearts and all sorts of flowery stuff that he hates. But he persists because he's doing it for them and everything that they've done to make sure he felt needed despite feeling broken.

'I'll meet you in the middle,' is what he's trying to say as he gives Sakura and Naruto their valentines gifts, 'I don't feel right doing it, but I'll do it for you.' And he tries to say it because that's what they tried to say when they shoddily wrote that letter with the box of off-brand chocolates. The way their eyes light up with the faintest twinge of worry makes the disgust at his own actions worth it.

Naruto and Sakura say 'I love you' less and less as the months blur into a year and then another in their odd semblance of a relationship, one that doesn't always work and always seems to be improper; but none of them can drop it. They stopped using those words near entirely, only uttering them between each other when they thought Sasuke couldn't hear. It hurt him. They still didn't understand that he wanted this type of hurt, this delicious agony, the type of ache that only comes from being desired.

He lets the days turn to weeks, peppered with kisses and attention and some form of sweet words that he can tolerate. It's all too dull and numb now. Nothing quite hits him just right with how much they try to accommodate him, try to make him feel welcome even though they're far past the point of introductions. He holds onto them and doesn't say the three words he fears they want him to say, he just holds them close. 'Bite me, scratch me, hit me, hurt me.' He can never really vocalize it when he knows they'll misunderstand what he wants.

He watches as weeks turn to months and he feels wrong once again in their dynamics, he feels othered even though he hopes they still want him. They've stopped saying it entirely at this point, out of fear or regret due to past mistakes is something Sasuke can't tell. He just knows that something is deeply wrong and he is at fault over the injustice. He still holds them as they sleep, staring at the ceiling with Naruto on his chest and Sakura curled under an arm as he contemplates what went wrong.

"When did you stop wanting me?" Sasuke asked one morning, not too long before lunch so they'd be fully lucid. He swears his voice cracks, a deep-seated fear of something that he can't identify making his heart race and his palms clammy. He realizes at a later date it's rejection that he was fearing so instinctually.

Both of them are quick to be at his side, flooding him with a hundred questions and he ignores all of them. He just gathers a semblance of concepts as his eyes start to water. Hands are on him, his face, his arms, his neck, his shoulders, his own hands- it keeps him real.

"You stopped saying that you love me," he manages, barely stopping himself from breaking into tears.

"It hurts you," Sakura said quietly, caressing his cheek gently with her thumb.

Naruto nods in response, "We don't, we don't want to hurt you."

Sasuke knew that, but he didn't know why they thought he was too daft to realize it. He nudges aside Sakura's hand and holds one of each, trying to put it into words. It was too complex to get it all out in one go, so many layers of their lives linked together to create what they have now. But he tries, "I trust you enough to let you hurt me," and he can only hope that it suffices.

Sakura sighs, "I love you, Sasuke." And the words feel so right even as Sasuke visibly flinches at them due to lack of exposure in far too long. The words reduce down to something registered as 'want' after a brief moment of processing. "You're stubborn as a mule." It's an insult he takes as a compliment.

"Love you too, you idiot," Naruto tacks on even though he's the idiot. He let's Sasuke bite down whatever dumb retort is surfacing and let's him squeeze their hands a little tighter instead.

And Sasuke doesn't need to say it back. They know he wants them.

Sasuke holds their hands when they're in public, not everyday, but sometimes he does. He let's them have their ideals until they get home and they can joke over a bowl of ramen. They drag him along to every store they can because they're not that old yet and can still have some fun on a date. Another phrase Sasuke has learned he hates over the years of being with them.

It was once that they went on dates and he stayed at home, waiting for their return, or he would go pick them up when they were drunk. He'd help them home as they slur their words and stumble and say the phrases he hated the most till his knees went weak. But he went on and got them home and safe and they still said it as they settled into sleep, and only in those rare moments would he ever try to say it back.

But despite their impaired state, one of them would always reach out and shush him.

'It's fine,' Sakura would slur with a finger pressed to Sasuke's lips, her hands were colder than his.

'We know,' Naruto would slur with a hand somewhere on Sasuke, his fingers burned like fire on his skin.

And now when they go out they bring him even though he feels out of place. It makes them look like friends instead of something else far more complex than that, he still didn't know if it was the same strain of attraction. He'd grown into not caring about it either as they eat at high end restaurants, and go through shops, and watch the sunset. He had Sakura and Naruto, and they had him; it was far more perplexing than that, but he only needed to know that much to be satisfied.

He chokes sometimes, words fail to come to the front of his mind when they give him romance out of reflex. He goes stiff and uncomfortable and wants to leave and then he manages a simple 'no' and they all get a small laugh out of it. He's gotten better at not doing that in the same way they've gotten better and only waxing poetic to each other and not Sasuke. He hums along as he watches his partners be the perfect couple on date night, he eats silently as they pass their own kind of want back and forth. It's a comfortable practice that only makes him mildly uneasy after a decade has passed.

Even with Naruto being Hokage and Sakura being chief of the medical shinobi and Sasuke being part of the Akatsuki- they're still stuck to each other with duct tape and undying loyalty. It's become less of a formality, they all live their own lives, Naruto married Hinata, Sakura married Ino, and Sasuke got two pet cats. But their legal partners get it, they hear their spouses and have their own version of it with their old team and let Sakura and Naruto have Sasuke. On the side or front or centre nobody really can tell in their extended and overlapping relationships these days. It's all blended and clung onto each other like velcro, sometimes their spouses kiss and sometimes and they don't- Sakura and Naruto are already familiar with the complexities of relationships considering how long Sasuke's been a part of them.

Family dinners are big, nine people minimum attend and when parents ask they answer with simple words. 'Ino is my wife,' 'Me and Tamari have been a couple for years,' 'I'm Naruto's wife,' 'Gaara couldn't make it tonight,' and many other simpler terms would crop up while Sasuke was left in the dust to lean on Naruto. They both had no parents to ask those questions. So they'd sneak out back when no one was looking and sometimes they'd smoke and sometimes they wouldn't.

The buzz of conversation would sit behind them as they stood in a comfortable summer breeze, even when Sakura would come out to join them. It was a nice silence, one that none of them ever really got a chance to experience with their lives so busy. Three words would be murmured as a cooling breeze rolled with the clouds, usually followed by a kiss on the cheek or grasping for his hand. And Sasuke would hum in response and he would say 'I know' and return the gesture.

Even with Sakura towering over him in the dead of night, moonlight glinting across the room and lighting them up in a pale glow. Her hands resting at his waist and knees bracketing his thighs as he whimpers. She gave a demure smirk and spoke, "I love you," words carried on the near silence and light as a feather as they reached Sasuke.

Even with Naruto at his side as the clock strikes midnight, alight with the silver sheen of the moon skipping across bright blue eyes. His teeth grazing upon the nape of his neck and hands skimming across his abdomen. He grinned and spoke, "I love you," there's always the underlying snarl of the fox that makes Sasuke shudder.

It hurts every single time they say it.

But Sasuke still wants them to say to those three words until he feels terminally ill.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i held an intervention for my cousin?

strap in bc this is gonna be long, but first i need to introduce this little cast of characters: I (26f), my sister (23f) and my cousin (22f) are literally the only young ones in my family. my fathers siblings never married, and i have only my mother's sister (50sthF) who has married and also has a kid. so this made us kind of close since we were kids, especially my sister and my cousin (due to their close ages) were always together. we did live far from each other, and could only meet one or two times in a year.

my cousin and my sister have ocd. i have depression. we all have anxieties. my aunt and my mother both have anger issues, so we kind of can guess what kind of house my cousin is living in. and also from what we could see during our short visits. so yeah, we're all fucked up, but ever since i started therapy and forced my sister to go as well, things started to change. my cousin kept making excuses about money issues, and not really needing any therapy, but her ocd started spiraling down very quickly after her cat got sick last year (we'll get to that soon).

so here's where the problem lies: my cousin has ocd, and needs to constantly ask for approval. she also has severe separation anxiety, to the point that she cant even think about a family member or her cat dying. and see, i get that! we also had beloved pets who died and honestly it still fucks us up, but she is getting delusional about it. god forbid we mention that the cat is now an old lady, or say that shes not as sharp/agile as she was before—this makes her cry immediately. also her ocd is very focused on her cat: she thinks she can carry diseases to her cat, she gets hysterical if we change our clothes near the cats bowl, asks everyone repeatedly if sth unrelated might make the cat sick. shes also of the belief that if someone uses an insect spray, then the poison will stay there till she goes to that place and carries the poison to her cat and making her sick. we kept explaining to her that if the sprays would work like that then we wouldnt suffer from a serious ant infestation for the third year in a row, but as it goes with ocd, she just cant accept it. she only believes what her mother says, and well. her mother gets agitated Very Quickly and they start fighting which makes everything worse.

usually id interfere and tell my aunt to just get along with my cousin as shes going through therapy and medication, and i saw it first hand on my sister that it takes time for ocd to get calmer. its not like oh u started therapy? why arent u already performing like a mentally healthy person?? this is what i suffered from when i first started my therapy. but my aunts main issue isnt her ocd. the ocd is par for the course—the main problem is that my cousin never helps around the house.

we knew this, since we have been together forever, that my cousin never works. she complains a lot, even snaps if u ask her to do two things at once (even if its like hey check the kettle and btw put this glass in the sink as well). and my aunt has zero tolerance for her attitude, which leads to her doing the chore herself and well this kind of encourages my cousin to get away from the chores by complaining. she was like this ever since we were KIDS. she'd play with us and make a mess, but when we were supposed to clean everything shed either not do a thing (saying "i dont know how to" even to simple things like put the thing in the basket) or shed just. vanish. whenever we ate lunch or dinner, shed immediately go to the bathroom, and come out after everything was cleaned and washed. and before u say there might be sth else, it really wasnt. she even admitted to it later. she just didnt want to do a single shit. and well, now that shes older, its getting kind of upsetting. whenever she's alone at home she does NOTHING. and when my aunt comes back from her trip SHES the one who has to clean after my cousin, even tho she has just arrived home. this is why no matter how much she asks us to go stay with her when shes alone, we never go. bc we dont want to clean after her. or when she comes over to our house she just. barely does a thing.

this is taking a huge mental and physical toll on my aunt, bc shes physically disabled (severe migraines caused by a bubble in her head, and recently due to her bad workplace her right hand and arm are also not doing well), and even tho she kind of brought this on herself (but indirectly encouraging my cousins behavior), its still really upsetting. whenever we go to their house, my sister and i try to shoulder a part of chores, bc 1) our aunt shouldn't have to do everything by herself and 2) we were taught to help. my parents never had any tolerance for us slacking off.

cut to last week when we went to their house, and it was a huge war zone. my aunt kept shouting at my cousin for things that werent her fault (like her asking for approval or complaining about sth someone did), and on the other hand my cousin kept dodging the chores, and when my aunt asked her to do ONE thing she kept snapping at her and complaining like it was a huge deal (it really wasnt. example: my aunt asked her to put her clothes which she had already folded and put on her bed away. my cousin snapped at her that she would do it and she should get off her back and then kept complaining that her folded clothes arent bothering anyone and she shouldnt be forced to put them away. this is not an exaggeration.) i also realized that part of the problem with their relationship was how my cousin kept complaining about everything to my aunt, which makes my aunt go insane bc she needs a break from the negativity, but my cousin is very clingy and would call her multiple times a day just to bitch about sth. and hey, i also bitch about things to my mother, but i dont call her that much when shes/im away, and also i try to balance it with good fun stories. i know my cousin isnt like having a very bad life, she just likes to complain about everything. but this, coupled with her insistent need for approval, and her clinginess, makes for a bad recipe.

so, when i finally had a private moment with my cousin, i told her that she needs to do chores, and this would do wonders to the current tension! i said this very gently and very quickly bc i didnt want my aunt to overhear us, and my cousin started crying and nodding and said she would try. this made me feel a bit calmer about the whole situation, until the next fucking day when my grandparents came to my aunts house and my cousin, u guessed, did nothing to help my aunt. at one point my sister found her kissing her cat instead of setting the table, and it made us both extremely mad.

i think that gently talking with her wont do good, bc she'd probably do the same thing again. i feel like i need to be more stern and a little bit harsher to hammer the point home, bc apparently she doesnt understand anything unless its shouted at her. im not gonna shame her or anything, im just gonna say that she needs to a) continue her therapy (which she has dropped for 5 months) b) take her pills regularly (which she doesnt) c) enforce a clear boundary between herself and her mother no matter how close they and d) do the chores. if she doesnt do these stuff, then she wont be able to get any sympathy from me, and my sister. also cant complain about it anymore if she's not going to do any fucking thing to improve her situation.

so, wibta?

What are these acronyms?

[seventeenficsformalereader]

Finals; Junhui

Jun helps you get over the stress of finals week. <3

Conatins: Male X Male, reader being stressed, mentions of harming yourself, mentions of family issues

VERY SHORT!

Genre: Fluff, slight angst but nothing too much

~Requested by anon~

A/N: Sorry it took so long again but here it is! Hope you enjoy reading as always. And i will probably do something special when i get 100 followers so stay tuned if i make it to 100! :D

===============

You felt yourself tapping your foot on the floor endlessly. You tried to consentrate on the book sitting infront of your face for the 3rd hour straight.

You couldn't even get words out of anything anymore because you were so tired. The thought of dropping out of school has crossed your mind way too many times than it should, but you never actually did it.

You knew that you had to get through it, otherwise your parents would be disappointed and your dad would tell everyone how "irresponsible and useless" you are if you actually dropped out.

You sighed once again and the urge to slam your forehead against the desk was high, but you managed to push that thought away.

You heard the door behind you being knocked on and after that it was opened. You slowly looked away from the desk and all the notes and stuff on it and when you did turn around, you saw your boyfriend standing at the door, looking rather tired himself, even tho he usuallu looks like that.

"What's up?" You asked and turned back to try and get something out of the notes that you had written "It's already 1am.. You should get some sleep too." Jun said as he stepped inside the room fully, walking closer to you.

"I can't yet. I have to study"

Jun sighed deeply. "You have already studied for atleast 6 hours. Have you remembered to eat at all today?" He questioned with his eyebrow raised.

"No. I mean i ate some chips like..." You check the clock "4 hours ago?" Jun sighs once again and looks at you reading something. You looked so tired and Jun couldn't bare to look at you like this.

He turned off your computer and closed all books on the table, not bothering to ask you anything else when he picked you up from the chair, bridal style "Hey! What are you-" "Shh. I can't let you overwork yourself like this." He said with a smile on his lips as he walked downstairs with you in his arms "I can walk on my own, you know?" You said and let out a laugh.

"But i want to carry my prince~" Jun said back teasingly and set you on one of the chairs in the kitchen. "I will prepare you some midnight snack and then we will go to bed and cuddle" He said in a demanding yet playful tone, and you knew that you couldn't say no to him now.

You nodded slightly and smiled up at him as he started to prepare a cup of ramen for the both of you.

He got the cups of ramen done and he handed you your own "Eat now. You need energy so you can study tomorrow again." He said as he started to eat his ramen. You laughed a little and started eating too. "You worry too much! I'm able to study after this too. I don't need sleep that much" You tried to argue but it was like everything you said fell on deaf ears. "No, no and no. You will get to bed with me and have a good nights rest. You can study tomorrow." He said in a childish tone and you couldn't help but smile "Finee~ If you insist." You whined.

After you were both done with your ramen, he walked over to you and reached his hand out, so you could grab it. You smiled up at him and grabbed his hand tightly and he started to take you to the bedroom

"Put on your pyjamas and then come here" He said as he patted the bed and climbed on it

You went to change and after you were done, you went next to Jun, cuddling against his warm body "This... is nice" You said as you felt your eyelids get heavy from all the studying.

"I know my love. It is nice to have you in my arms, knowing that you are safe with me." He said in a comforting and calm tone while he hugged you tightly against him.

You closed your eyes slowly as you drifted off to sleep with the spund of his heartbeat.

"I love you~" He whispered and went to sleep too.

===============

It's quite short and i'm not sure if it's what you wanted but it's a Jun fic so it doesn't matter so much because we love Jun!

Stay safe and i hope that you all will have a great day/night or whatever it is in your country right now!

[imovyn]

ok day recap time ig didn’t do one yesterday bc i did bad yesterday 😔😔 wasn’t until 3pm that i realized ohhhh i haven’t taken my adderall that’s why everything is so. impossible. are like two good meals tho so at least that. highlight from that day was hottubbing w my roommates in the evening that was nice but today was good slept in later than i would have liked but woke up way earlier than i have recently on saturday which meant there was still time to go to the weekly farmers market downtown that runs june through october that i’ve just never had the chance to go to before bc i’m always doing stuff on saturday or i sleep in or forget anyway pb&j breakfast/lunch (not brunch that is something else entirely) and hella cute farmers market outfit and while i was at the train station i sat next to and talked w this dude from nepal who is doing grad school here and he was way cool and laughed at the notion that i consider the rockies “mountains” he’s like lol that’s what we call hills and we talked about hiking and he showed me some photography he’s done in nepal and how we both love ghibli films that was nice then i took the train and walked to the farmers market it was wayyy bigger than i though it’d be there was farmers selling produce and food trucks and artists and clothes vendors and so many other things and the vibes were immaculate there was a lot of people i bought some v fresh v sweet peaches and also bookmarks from a very entrepreneurial seven year old then i went over to my fave coffee shop that has taken all my money to work on an assignment that was a day overdue about mesoamerican art and i got it done really quickly and remembered i’m actually rlly good at writing essays they just make me anxious and i walked over to the bus stop and while i was waiting there were lds missionaries going back to the mtc (missionary training center) from the temple and i talked w one of them for a bit he and his group were going to japan for their missions he was debating what college to go to when he got back love public transit bc of all the people i meet and i’ve been reading the great gatsby and i read that on the bus on my way to trader joe’s bc i was out of things again and it was busy af on a saturday afternoon people were buying cartfulls of pumpkins amazing i was in and out and i went back home and made myself rice and egg and celery in a rice cooker and added some sauce it was kinda mid and also ate some edamame and had some tea and listened to some dope dreampop and was incredibly chilled out spent my evening organizing and watching youtubes about spirituality stuff that i might have to get more into and now i’m on the train on the way to my parents house bc we’re having dinner w my extended family tomorrow yayyy

[swagging-back-to]

the way im still reeling from just how much my sister let me down

rant incoming bc im genuinely still mad

like i dont even know how to describe this feeling. 'let me down'is such an understatement.

i went into the weekend knowing it was gonna be awful bc she had just started taking ketamine from her psychotic male friend and was planning on bringing all sorts of psychedlics and hard drugs like ket and molly to a party thats like 2hrs away from either of our houses and in a place we dont know.

she didnt tell me if she needed a place to sleep till half an hour before she was gonna get there and i still hadnt eaten any food at all yhat day. so i had to clean the guest room with all my roommates shit piled to the ceiling and cook at the same time. AND THEN SHE NEVER EVEN STAYED TO SLEEP.

she parked like half an hour away from the party right next to the worlds shadiest and darkest park in existence that had 5 guys just standing behind trees watching us go to the car. and then she wanted subway so we walked like half an hour to subway just for her to decide "im not actually hungry teehee"

and when i was like nah im gonna go eat now if youre gonna play this shit before we even go to the party. we go into an asian restaurant and SHES NEVER FUCKING BEEN IN ONE? all she eats is spaghetti and mac and cheese. didnt even know what a fucling spring roll is. she ate it (a THAI STYLE SPRING ROLL!!!!) like it was a lump of shit. like she ripped it apart with her hands and picked at it with a grimace. i verbally called her out on how stupid that is multiple times.

and then she got mad at me when i tried to tip the waiter everything i had in my wallet ($4) and tried to say i shouldnt tip at all. and in the same breath shared how whenever she doesnt get tipped she wishes death on the person. im actually very anti tipping and i never tip unless im with someone else and they do it. so i was like "he either gets four dollars or he gets fucking nothing. thats whats in my wallet so thats what he gets."

and she asked if ice has gluten in it which is genuinely the dumbest diet question ive ever been asked and ive had dozens of people try to tell me chicken and fish are vegetabels.

she waited until we were right at the door to pop open her fireball and then was like "yeah what if i just throw it on the ground in front of a hundred people and two cops" as if both of us arent underage.

speaking of underage <3 she left an entire box of twisted tea in the car for 3 hours completely unlocked while the cops prowled the streets ♡♡♡♡♡ said she doesnt see why the car needs to be locked even tho it had her id hanging from the mirror with big bold letters saying 'not even 20'

then when we were about to be jumped by the guy following us she kept doing like. the exact opposite of what you should do. kept screaming loudly "omg youre sober!?!?!?!" whenever i would say 'yeah im sober enough to get the fuck out of this place we need to fucking leave'. even as a COP WAS RIGHT NEXT TO US.

and when i was begging her to call the people she knew in the area she called them each one time. never explained the situation. to the point one of them thought she was just joking (which says a lot about how she normally acts that he thought she was joking). and then looked at me like i was being unreasonable for telling her to just CALL THEM and TALK TO THEM so we arent just two high women stumbling down the street quietly. it only ended up happening because she accidentally butt dialed one of her fwb and then was too embarassed to tell him she was with me [her sister] (called me 'some friend') and refused to even look at me when she was talking to him.

and this isnt even the entire fucking event. this is just the main points.

im just genuinely scared to be moving in with her at this point, not knowing whether she'll willingly bring back a predatory male or if she'll take hard drugs in my apartment (im the primary tenant and pay almost all the bills. it's my apartment.) or if she's gonna try to out my dogs to the landlord and get them evicted because "i just dont really like small dogs at all." or if shes gonna quit her job just like 'oh and btw i wont come in tomorrow bc this place is shit and i dont think one of my coworkers'despite not having any job lined up afterwards (she has actually done this!!!) and refusing to get a job closer or better paying because "oh maybe in the warmer months illthink of it" ??????

like she is just so.untrustworthy and so outrageously just.... not all there. even just the few things ive told my case manager makes her go 'is she diagnosed as bipolar? she sounds like my unmedicated bipolar clients."

like yepppp she sure fucking does. im pretty sure our bio mother was a bipolar schizophrenic (schizo diagnosed but idk about bipolar)

[zealiketea]

ask game BARRAGE 0 13 15 26 32 & 33 34 & 35 37 42 43 44 44 again

0. (height) havent been measured in years and dont have the resources to do so currently so i will estimate 5' 9" to 5' 11" because i am just a bit shorter than a 6' friend of mine

13. (turn ons) physically possible turn ons: large quantities of physical affection, whispering sexies in my ear, the idea of clicker training (havent gone through it yet) physically impossible: vore

15: (fav movie) probs both spiderverse films or puss in boots 2 or del toros pinnocchio or the lego movie (lego batman gets an honorable mention) (nimona mightve been here if id actually watched it yet oopsies)

26. (pet peeve) when a customer is being served by someone but i dont know so i go up to them and greet them but instead of saying "oh no im alright you can go serve someone else" they make two entire people start doing shit for them which can be absolutely detrimental especially when we have other people waiting please for the love of FUCKING GOD DONT HOG CUSTOMER SERVICE (recency bias, this happened earlier today)

32. (words that upset me) singular words dont particularly upset me so i cant easily think of stuff i havent repressed

33. (words that i enjoy) this post really hit me, and i highlighted the things that i relate to specifically. that last paragraph especially spoke directly to me as someone who resents my old violent outbursts.

34. (whats attractive about girls) everything

35. (whats attractive about boys) not much but femboys and twinks get me acting up

37. (insecurity) what my friends actually think of me

42. (what i last ate) uhh The Melbourne Rock Candy Aniseed Bo Peep Traditional Recipe hard candy and a bowl of nachos

43. (first attractive person i think of) nondescript hyperfeminine figure (tho with some thought im p down bad for futaba like. ranga neet girl?? sign me UP)

44. (random fun fact) The Penguins of Madagascar: Operation Plushie Rescue for the Leapster Explorer has DLC content that is currently lost media, simply because i havent released it to the public yet

44. (again) like over a year ago now i tried beating a geometry dash level called I Dont Wanna Go, died at 98%, and never touched the level again. I have done the same with Biru, but Biru is 5 minutes long

[nananarc]

Alright so I know I'm a month late to this Art Summary thing, but I'm Vietnamese, and we don't consider the year to end until Lunar New Year (which in here we call Tết holiday). And today, is in fact, the true last day of 2022.

The pic in January feels like years ago actually. I felt like I'm a completely different person compared to back then, both in art and in life. As in, a more skilled and mature person (i hope?), but also beaten up and without all the high hopes and energy that I used to have. I guess it's a funny coincidence that I ended the year with that artwork depicting that particular scene in Truyện Kiều (The Tales of Kieu). She's beautiful, singing songs and citing poems, but in a whorehouse, trapped and melancholic. Well, I can't compare my life to hers. But I'm at that stage of life where it might seem like everything is doing ok but the ground under my feet is rumbling and cracking but no one else can see it.

I feel like "I have been getting it wrong, Father", quote Fleabag, and that probably reflected in my art a bit. At this point I'm just living for that momentary trance / manic / whatever you wanna call it that art is capable of sometimes putting you in.

I might sound all sad and shit and, well yes I am crying and basically a pink fur ball of anxiety as I write this, but I will be relatively fine. So, in order to remind myself of all the good shits that happened despite it all, I'll put a list of them under the cut. Mindful and all that shit, yeah?

No expectation or wish for the next year for me.

But Happy Lunar New Year, everyone! :)

Go by exclusively they/them now and even though I'm still navigating through this identity, I felt gender euphoria when, in eng speaking space, people start to refer to me with the right pronoun.

I still don't make much money, with only 1-2 commissions/month, and most months without any order. But all of my clients were such good people (well except for one, bitch turns out to be crazy as shit but not to me lmao, she was still fulfilling her end of the bargain), they are also good friends, and I love them dearly. They all gave me so much support and care through everything.

I tried edibles, ate a bit too much, was tripping balls so hard I had a disco dance game in my head but with 90s graphics and the characters are all of my worst anxieties. Also had that glitchy, time skipping, reality bending experience. It was all very fucking awesome. Not gonna do that again tho lmao.

Visited the MOCA in Bangkok and reignites the love I have for art.

Realized I am asexual and it was extremely freeing. I thought lewd thoughts more than I have ever been because of that ahahaha XD

Start to embrace the fact that I'm probably neurodivergent.

Got really good at making mods of the Cyberpunk 2077 game and I'm really proud of my works.

Finally got to treat one of the health problems that have been plaguing me for years.

Had some really fun hangout with my dear friend over a drink at small, low-key pubs. She used to refuse to even touch a drop of alcohol because all her experiences with it left too at an impression. Now she drinks for me if I can't finish my cocktail.

I bought 2 traditional dresses and I love them dearly.

Busted a bitch's fake ass for stealing art. That was fun because no one even realized the extend to how shameless that shithead was. But even then, I still have no hate ask, that is kinda a bummer tho lol.

I talked more to my classmates and even though I still don't really vibe with them that much, I appreciate them more now.

Starred in an indie movie. Wasn't a particularly fun thing the whole time, but it was an experience nevertheless.

Got more daring about my makeups.