#we better fucking get vibe too
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I try to not be hater, but then I see the stupid takes and get madddddd
This is just what I feel every single time I see those shitty opinions
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#WELL ACTUALLY YOU'RE WRONG BC IF OCHAKO SAID SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH DEKU WE NEED TO FOCUS ON THAT WHICH MEANS SHE'LL CONFESS TO HIM#THIS IS FORESHADOWING FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP U R JUST GASLIGHTING YOURSELF BC HER ARC WAS PARTIALLY ABOUT LEARNING TO LET HERSELF LOVE HIM#tf you mean ppl are still making this fight about deku???#“she said she fell in love with him we win!” tf? it wasn't a reveal#much like the story with her parents we already knew that- this was about opening up to himiko so she could understand her better#and the way it was portrayed confirms this; we pointed out in the manga ochako's face being covered by her hair bc it means we shouldn't fo#focus on that rather than her next statement -she's there as herself not as a hero#this is her being selfish and open in order to reach out to himiko's sadness#and yet ppl are trying so hard to focus on the thing we weren't meant to focus on#and even taking away the deku memory they still made it about him#“ochako is jealous oh toga expressing her love which means she wants to confess to izuku too!!”#SHE LITERALLY SAID SHE ENVIES HOW HONEST SHE IS WITH HER FEELINGS AND SHOULDNT HIDE HER LOVE NOR FACE LIKE HER PARENTS TOLD HER#SHE SAYS SHE WANTED TO AT LEAST TELL HIMIKO HOW LOVELY HER SMILE IS#TO THE POINT OF WANTING TO BE LIKE HER IN THIS WAY#THIS ISNT HER BEING JEALOUS OF HER TELLING DEKU SHIT OR YEARNING TO CONFESS#THE EPILOGUE CONFIRMS THE FEELINGS SHE WAS HIDING WERE ABOUT GRIEF AND FAILURE AS A HERO#YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A TOGACHAKO IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND THIS#CANT WE FUCKING ENJOY F/F CANON CONTENT FOR ONCE WITHOUT SOMEONE SAYING#GRRRRGRGRGRGRGGRGRGRGR#WE FINISHED HER ARC AND IT WAS ABOUT HER LETTING HERSELF GET HELP WITHOUT FEELING LIKE SHE MUST BE LESS OF A HERO#ABOUT HER GRIEVING AND WANTING TO DO MORE TO HELP SOMEONE ABOUT HER NOT WANTING TO HURT OTHERS WITH HER FEELINGS#DONT YOU UNDERSTAND HEROISM IS THE LEAST ROMANTIC THING FOR A FUCKING HERO NERD#DONT YOU UNDERSTAND???? SHE DOESNT ACCEPT ANY OF HER FEELINGS LIKE HIMIKO DID#AND WHILE THEY TALK ABOUT THE BOYS THEY LIKED ITS NOT ABOUT THEM ITS ABOUT THE GIRLS FINDING SUPPORT IN EACH OTHER#PICTURE ONE OF THOSE FEMALE RAGE COMPILATION VIDEOS#I think they can easily get terfy and im not even a woman but the screaming is the vibe of this post#grrr being a hater#Youtube
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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dude the TOP song you posted (truce) fucking kills me and the way you described the animatic is??? so good???? I'd bawl actually /pos
I need to know if there's any other TOP songs you relate to the furies/any DE character really, or any slower songs even if they aren't by TOP
OH AGREED ABSOLUTELY!! TRUCE MY BELOVED... and THANK YOU!! we are imagining animatics and crying together! /pos :'] <3
ooh!! well, i havent listened to a lot of TOP in a while, so i don't have many recommendations there unfortunately :'] but for other slow, soft songs, let's see... i'll put them under a cut with all my explanations, but ☀️ "See The Day" by The Altogether (Volition song!), 🍃 "Rounds" by The Oh Hellos (Shivers song!), 🦋 "Would You Be So Kind" by dodie (general skills song, Suggestion primarily!) are the best contenders!
Pretty sure you've seen it already, but from a different ask, i recommend "Almost (Sweet Music)" by Hozier! (and "Like Real People Do" if you want to cry and yearn with me, though my DE ideas for it are very loose hkjhg) these are slow ones i like hkjhg <3
"Goodbye" by The Altogether is a Harry and Dora song :0
"Soldier, Poet, King" by The Oh Hellos is one i specifically relate to Volition (my beloved protector/motivator/crownhead blorbo! [picks him up and wiggles him!!!]), but i would make one of those animation memes for it with every skill slotted into a "soldier" "poet" or "king" position.
☀️ "See the Day" is both another The Altogether song and another Volition song! a real "the worst is over. we made it through. we're going to survive this. it might not get easier yet, but we'll come out the other side and we'll be alive" song. it makes me cry hkjgh
🍃 "Rounds" by The Oh Hellos is a soft Shivers song, though the lyrics don't start until halfway in. ough my god listening to it makes my heart ache (/pos) <3 La Revacholiere singing to Harry in the wind. "Will you start when I end? Yeah, I'm long in the wind..."
"Northern Star" by Dom Fera, a song Harry would sing for karaoke and dedicate to Kim, and then they'd waltz a little clumsily on the dim, starlit sidewalk on their way home for the evening... <3
🦋 "Would You Be So Kind?" by dodie BUT SPECIFICALLY THIS VERSION, because i love everyone's crowded but earnest vibes. this one is led by Suggestion ("oooh you wanna fall in love with us so bad right? right???") and makes me grin, you GOTTA imagine all of the skills squished together in the front of Harry's brain all trying different tactics to get Kim to fall in love with them, (rhetoric: "I HAVE A QUESTION..." ency: "let's write a story! be in my book!") at 2:35, after all the skills singing together loudly, it's just Harry himself singing to Kim, with all the skills slowly backing him up. the ending is all of them fucking ECSTATIC celebrating when harry finally kisses kim hkjhg jesus this'd be so cute hold on i have to go plan this out i have so many thoughts hkjdh
"Seven" by Sleeping at Last would be a sweet Reaction Speed song (ironic that im adding react speed to a list of soft, slow songs though hkjgh) "I'm ready for whatever comes next!" <3 Reaction Speed is a fast, restless little fella who can't sit still for long, always loves moving, acting, doing. he's like the personification of a verb hkjhg <3 i would also accept an interpretation for echem <3
"Cosmos" by Jawbreaker Reunion is a song that The Furies recently suggested to me as a jean song and it's so right for that, very soft and i like it very much :'] (you should also ask The Furies if you want to, it's much more musically inclined than me, i feel hkjhg <3)
awuahg thank you for asking and for reading!! i appreciate it!! <33
oh and here's links to all of the songs in the tags: Come Together Now, Two, Four, Five, Six, Eight, Nine, RPG Animation Meme (<- homestuck lmao)
#volta transmissions#now: songs that didn't meet the requirements (either not a slow song OR doesnt remind me of de characters/skills) but honorable mentions:#you specifically asked for slow songs but i refound ''come together now'' from the lego movie soundtrack and I HAVE SKILL THOUGHTS...#<- no chemi you're not hosting a fucking multi animator project you have enough on your plate THANKS <3#but!! that is my idealized version of the skills to me though. ''we're all really different but we make each other better together''#dodie has many more slower songs but i cant really relate them to DE hkjhg <3 the oh hellos too!! and the altogether <3#''two'' from Sleeping at Last makes my heart hurt but i can't relate it to anyone in specific. but if you want a soft song that i love <3#also from Sleeping at Last but i dont like these songs as much: ''Four'' is Concept! ''Five'' is Viscal! ''Six'' is Psyche in general#but specifically inland and volition!! ''Eight'' is an Endurance song but i'd also take Authority or Phys interpretations <3#but eight is kind of intense so it doesnt go in the actual list. ''Nine'' might be Empathy? get over being a moralist little guy!!#i like ''Two'' ''Seven'' and ''Eight'' while the other ones are not my cup of tea... but they ARE soft songs i associate with skills!#only tangentially related but the RPG animation meme would be. extremely fun to do for the skills. and i think about it intensely.#LISTEN... there's 30-ish beats at the start for characters. theres 24 skills plus room to show group ups by type (int; psyc; phys; mot)#the entire main thing of the meme is [someone says a stupid idea] [everyone disliked that!!] WHICH IS EXACTLY THE RIGHT VIBE HFJKFH#HOWEVER. i still dont have designs for [checks] MORE THAN HALF OF THEM. so EL BIGO MISTAKO LIEUTENANT! YOU CAN'T!#i wish i was more well-versed in music hkjhg im kinda just vibing with what i got <3 this is why daily voltas stopped :'] alas!#esprit: Sammie
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Not to brag, but the two prettiest tattoo artists in town think I'm cool and have cool tattoo ideas and aren't at all off-put by my weird tism talk and we're like aquatinted but not friends because they're also weird and probably a little autistic and were clearly girls who were bullied in grade school but ended up being baddies as adults but that trauma of being ostracized never left them so neither they nor I know how to be like, "Hey let's be friends!"
#tbh tattoo artists can be some of the coolest most open minded people#or they're total dickbags#but most are chill as fuck#kinda the same vibe as sex shop employees. they're just vibing (heh) and aren't there to judge unless you're a prick.#i get along with tattoo people most of the time. better than i do other random people i encounter.#the last time i got tattooed we just talked about killing the rich for 3 hours#i didn't talk yesterday because i was too focused on not kicking while having my fucking kneecap stabbed#but any time i see that artist we'll talk about some wacky ass shit#the other pretty tattoo lady will just sit there making beep boop sounds and shit that sounds like waluigi or some shit#and occasionally how she wishes people were more like dogs because dogs are cool and people suck#they also both have grown emo kid energy and as a grown emo i vibe with that shit#we just listened to like adtr and linkin park and shit yesterday#i hate getting a tattoo and they're listening to chill music#i feel like you have to have something emotional or fast paced or the tattoo vibe is off#real tattoo shops only play rock rap or edm/techno#if i go into a shop and they're playing adelle or mumford and sons i know it's gonna be a weird day#maybe shit like lady gaga gets a pass. that like fast paced kinda pop stuff.#i feel like a bpm under 100 doesn't work.
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(i haven't read Whole Cake in a while, and i never really watched it, so bear with me)
I'd love to write a fic with Usopp on Whole Cake. it'd be sooo fucking long and i'd need to refresh myself on the entire arc, but god i'd probably be so satisfied when it's done. specifically for having brought a single moment in my head to life, but we'll get to that.
On Zou, he insists to be taken along on the Sanji rescue team and has worked himself up with a whole bunch of very good reasons as to why he should go there instead of helping in Wano, but of course Luffy just immediately accepts with a "yeah sure"
With Whole Cake, I think he'd be flipping between having fun as part of the idiot trio/quartet (Luffy, Chopper, Carrot), and being terrified with Nami. There wouldn't be that many differences in the arc as a whole, though; some things would be easier/better and some things would be worse- I don't necessarily think Usopp's presence would be overall an advantage or disadvantage, just different. Like, major events would stay mostly the same, but little details would change and maybe those little details would build to a far more drastic change-
for example, maybe one of Big Mom's kids considers themself a great sniper and wants a match with Usopp, or is motivated to work harder because Usopp is around and they want to take him out and boast about it. Maybe it means Sunny takes more damage than canon, or maybe Usopp's help means less damage to Sunny. (idk if i'd really do smth like this, but it's just an example)
skjdhf fuck i'm really not equipped to try and figure this out when i don't remember shit from Whole Cake aaaa
I do know that, despite his penchant for talking and rambling, I'd probably have Usopp be dead silent after his initial shock when Sanji fights Luffy. Everything about that is the same, except Usopp is just watching Sanji the whole time- not panicking, not moving, and not speaking. He doesn't say a word the entire time, doesn't even make a sound, and that, along with Luffy's words and Nami's begging, stick with Sanji.
(Usopp is thinking of his own fight with Luffy in Water 7, he's partially wondering if this was what it was like- if it was this painful to watch from the sidelines- and partially knowing he doesn't have to say a word, because he knew, like he knew back then, that it didn't matter what was said. It wasn't quite the same, but he could tell in the way Sanji moved, in the way he spoke and held himself, that he was putting on a front, trying to be brave in all the wrong ways. Usopp didn't say a word to Sanji because there was nothing he could say that Sanji himself didn't already know. Should've known. And his quiet, direct stare, was more than enough.)
the singular moment i really wanna write, is a scene where Sanji is apologizing for dragging them into his mess- either during the big meeting in Bege's castle or some other time- and Usopp's like "I'll do what you can't, you do what I can't, right?" and Sanji pauses, a little confused, until he remembers Enies Lobby and a stupid mask and cape and-
and tears are gathering in his eyes now, fuck, but he laughs a little. It sounds wet and his face is itchy and they're surrounded by tentative allies, but he- he laughs again and he says, "Fuck, you remembered that?"
Usopp shrugs, a little smile on his face. "They were some wise words from a wise man."
Sanji laughs a third time. "You think I'm wise?"
And they banter a little more before Bege tells them to quit it since they're on a time constraint or something. Quietly, Usopp will ask, "It-it helps. On bad days. And I figured, 'what's a worse day than this?' Ah, not that you getting married would ever be bad per se-"
"Usopp," Sanji says, looking more relaxed and settled. He smiles fondly and grabs his friend in a one armed hug, crushing him to his side. "Thanks."
And yeah, don't remember much beyond that, except the whole "hiding and then busting out of the cake" bit, which would mean Usopp in a cute little tuxedo or smth- maybe with a fedora aaaaaa <- loves fedoras- helping out with the fighting and eventually sailing with everyone to Wano.
He would be so distressed about fixing up Sunny now that the whole thing with Whole Cake is over. Maybe there'd be a gag about him promising Franky to take good care of Sunny while they were gone and being confident, after being Franky's tinkering partner and learning from him over time, that he could handle minor repair work much better than he did the first time around with Merry. And so when he finally takes in all the very-not-minor repairs he has to do, he's certain Franky is gonna strangle him for not keeping his promise. Probably also try to write in some nostalgic 'repairman Usopp' vibes from pre-Water 7.
Also something something, Sanji, wanting to do more for the crew bc he still feels guilty about Whole Cake, decides to take it upon himself to help Usopp not fall into a whole anxiety spiral about the ship. In turn, Usopp ends up helping Sanji not feel so guilty- usually by handing his own words back to him on a silver platter. And, yknow, having the two of them bonding and being buddies again like they so rarely get to be in canon nowadays qwq
#one piece#usopp#whole cake island#nemotime#that bit in bege's castle isn't exactly how it would go. just kinda. trying to get the vibe. also it's wayyy too short lol#the sanuso bit can be platonic or romantic. originally when i was gonna write out this idea a while ago i was thinking romantic with my#'they get engaged/married b4 dressrosa' au but tbh platonic works just as good#im- these guys man. i hate them so much (affectionate)#i'll get to rereading whole cake and finding a way to put him in there but for now. this.#if anyone's got other ideas im all ears#edit from like march 7: thinking about this again#maybe usopp being silent is an indicator for sanji that usopp's really fucking disappointed or shocked or w/e#but for usopp himself it's like being back in water 7. he doesn't even mean to be silent. he's got words built up on the tip of his tongue#but none of them come out. and despite sanji being Right There all he wants to do in that moment. is run.#at the very least he stays and watches the whole confrontation through. but afterwards he probably feels like shit#because he's the guy who's great with words right? he's the guy that can relate the most out of the group who went to WCI. he should be abl#to make a significant difference and help convince sanji to come home. but he feels like he failed. like he's going to lose another friend#and it's going to be all his fault. (again)#[not really. we all know merry wasn't his fault but we love old insecurities rearing their head in this house]#later he'd probably end up saying the words he wanted to say. and maybe it's better that way. that he ended up waiting#until luffy's had a proper shot at scolding sanji first. because then usopp can act as support and reinforcement. which. yknow.#a sniper's duty and all#anyway i got other shit to do so i'm cutting myself off here#wci usopp
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anyway. it okay. im giving myself time to just be chill. im gonna start panicking when i get there. i still have 5 hours till then and rn im more preoccupied with the fact that i feel like i might be getting my period today and it better not happen on the train or ill kms and everyone on it
#i genuinely dont know if i do feel the grief#in some way for sure but also im. 1. not sure i have the right to actually feel it 2. even IF i am feeling it. its highly probable#im just repressing it and unconsciously beating it back with a stick because babygirl rn? i feel nothing#could be the shock too#but im kinda feeling worse about how im NOT feeling all that bad#cause i should. he never did anything wrong to me and i never did hate him. we just didnt get each others vibe#anyway it's so fucking unfair towards my mom. the fact that her bitch of a mother is still alive while he's dead.#i know its not her fault but i kinda hate her for being still alive lol she should have died 12 years ago#it would have been better for everyone. but nvm. i wish it was me too. my mom doesnt fucking deserve that ffs
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Hot guitarist who flirted with me and put single as his Facebook status despite being in a relationship for 8 years sent me an invitation to a gig in the middle of Lower Bavarian nowhere 💀
#interesting that he thought of me and how i asked him about upcoming shows while we were drunk back in early august#but i'm not going bc how the fuck will i get there and it's too close to his home so his gf will be there... where's the added value for me#i mean yeah it's closer than the cherie currie uk dates in winter but dude. you know i live at the other end of the state#ask seb to book your main band for a club show up here again 😭 it's got better vibes i get there easily and i can do what i want here#might text him about it actually like yo ask to be opener for one of the more niche shows in the next months#i need to tell my concert bestie about it omg i need to add on to the groupie lore how did i forgetttt#mel talks
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the toxic relationship that is pinned on bojack that the show ignored/ brushed off as a nothing burger on anas end when she basically used this guy for sex in order to get an oscar the more i dwell on it the angrier i get cause there is never any mention of her assault zero zilch none .. nothing.. i mean im sure bj shitty esteem/ mommy issues thinks he deserves it/ but the show saying nothing against it bugs me
. they couldn't let diane know i guess but man it be amazing if she did her best friend getting assaulted she'd be so pissed off
#bojack horseman#ana#her last name is annoying to spell#ana spanakopita#my boy was assaulted and does the show care? n o#the more i view thses scenes the angrier i get#cause imagine if bj did this man he never heard the of it from fandom#as he should in fact id prob hate him for it#i find the idea he goes along with the painful sex sad some people enjoy it but he didnt really give off those vibes for me#woman having power over men is a thing that was annoyingly ignored in this show#cause yes it can happen it does happen it prob happens more than we know#we give men power to abuse others bro your an abuser too its horribly fucked what happened to penny but ya aint no better#even with the penny situation i believe diane would hate ana for asssaulting her bes friend too cause shes against that shit
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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the seasons so far this year have felt really weird. it was unseasonably warm in February, didn't really seem to get gradually warmer through the rest of spring, randomly ended up being frosty at the start of May, also randomly ended up foggy yesterday in a way I associate with late autumn, and the trees had blossom since late January but no leaves until some time last month.
but then the weather suddenly got a lot warmer recently and now it feels summer-y and we keep having to have the A/C on and it's basically felt like being in a bizarre liminal state where the seasons are kind of malfunctioning and fucked up and then suddenly being thrown into early summer, having not really been prepared for that because what the fuck even was this spring
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#2024#it's been a really weird year#it's also simultaneously been really stressful and been a year where we've done a bunch of stuff that's been really exciting and fun#so it's like... it's been a shitshow but I think we are managing the whole ''I'll find a way to make it a good year no matter what'' thing#like a bunch of really rough shit has happened but we're also doing objectively better with a lot of things#I think I'm possibly having a weird night because we processed emotional stuff earlier#and now the warm summer-y atmosphere in our room is giving me very vague weird flashbacks I can't quite pinpoint#I think I'm getting flaashbacks to the last two summers and either I can find a way to vibe with that and not feel too bad#or I'm gonna end up feeling really fucking weird so I guess we'll see what happens
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lets see how long i last this time <3
#nyxtalks#ha the vibes are still rancid over here but its increasingly clear to me im not gonna be doing anything about it any time soon#n i miss you guys!#but maintaining conversations is still dubious in bandwidth so im back to parallel play with all of yall on here#we will see how long it lasts#i will say the vibes in the head have currently shifted to move out n have my own space so? maybe things can get better?#idk theres a level of believing in my ability to do things which is probably far too fucking optimistic but fuck it!#lets pretend i can for a while <3
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reddit people agree that crazy form was a bit boring in that it lacked the usual teez oomph, which i agree with, BUT on the other hand they say they liked it better/it was better than bouncy, which ????? babes, how
#you'd have to actively dislike bouncy? how can you dislike bouncy bouncy is FUN#i feel like crazy form suffers from roughly the same ailment as r/u/n/ b/t/s although to a smaller degree. it's just too monotone#rbts had the same beat for the entirety of the song so cf isn't as bad but the party chorus at the end is 1. too short and 2. not party#enough 4 me. someone quoted hj in a recent interview saying that they were aware of it but chose it as the title track because it show-#cased their performance skills so i have no complaints because it did what it had to do but at the same time while it's an enjoyable song#and great to vibe to it IS the second vibing song in a 4-part series. we've got guerrilla-vibes-vibes (fin)-[epilogue].#and the previous (fin) album had WONDERLAND and obviously it's VERY hard to beat wonderland but i feel like we know COULD have done#that. we know. FUCKS. i'm at this point just taking we know as a spiritual title track and crazy form as a heavily promoted b-side#aough. i should go to dw with that it feels like A Poast#shrimp thoughts#edit: this is a bit like people saying maison is better than vision. i get where you're coming from but no it isn't!#WAIT crazy form is ateez's maison....
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I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO SAY ANYTHING OF SUBSTANCE BUT PLEASE ENJOY MOVIE <333
IT WAS DEFINITELY A MOVIE
#snap chats#HEY SORRY I MEANT TO RESPOND TO THIS SOONER BUT I WAS GETTING MY STREAM SET UP READY FOR TOMORROW/LATER#BUT YAYA I DID WATCH THE MOVIE AND MAN.#i should get shot for this but i just kept getting reminded of sailor suit- which is a compliment we know i loved sailor suit...#ALSO TAKE A SHOT FOR EVERY MAKOTO WE RUN INTO at least he didnt. fucking DIE this time#if i had a nickel every time there was a yakuza movie bout a girl becoming a yakuza boss who had a dude named makoto helping her#then golly gee#and look at that..... the matriarch actually got to be a matriarch after everyone died 🧍♂️#on the real tho.... it was hard watching the movie there were too many beautiful women i almost started crying when i saw them#nana was adorable. i stan matriarchs who inherit their relative's yakuza family#she had every right to dump her dads ashes in the bay tho im just saying but shes a better person than me so ig not#ima be so tbh tho the bro played by motomiya had been giving me ibuchi energy if not solely cause of the one (1) white-collared yakuza grun#movie had me HUNGRY got me wantin curry...... fucked up#i loved tetsu bro.. what a vibe.. what a king I STAN.#ALSO YEAH VERY RGG REMINISCENT WITH THE PARKING GARAGE SCENE had me thinkin we were goin into a set piece#complete with Sudden Vehicle QTE. and i shant neglect The Final Set Piece with ryu dazzling up and killing everyone#gorgeous....... rip queen they really up and shot ryu at the end LIKE BRO i quit#in any case.. i oughta sleep i struggled WAY too long to get the stream ready#so gn eveyrone. ty for sendin me the movie was def a fun watch :] see yall later.......
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every time i think about being near other people i actually do throw up in my mouth a lil. many such cases! very sad to see...
#.txt#YOUUU HATE PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU'RE 14 AND THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE 14#I AS A TOTALLY STRONG BEAUTIFUL AND CAPABLE ADULT AM SO MUCH MORE PATHETIC WHEN MY THOUGHTS AND#FEELINGS AND OPINIONS ON TOTAL STRANGERS CAUSES REAL LIFE GENUINE NAUSEA#i deserve to be on welfare. i deserve to be paid for doing literally nothing. i deserve to be a leech. i#i need to find a way to safely talk to other people without going back to school and/or getting a stupidly hard 9-5 (IM SO PATHETICALLY WEAK#and/or .... going to one of those mental hospitals with rehab centers or whatevrr....... yeah i don't wanna do it i do think it'd make me#it'd make me worse and not get better#slowly trying to force ego death rn unfortunately i'm so fucking dense braindead and stubborn it's actually so hard#in situations where my peers got groomed i was unaffected due to just not caring enough hashtag like a boss ok anyways#'uuuu this creepy guy texted me' 'oh he texted me too but i started talking about pokemon and then we started talking about pokemon :D'#'did he want nudes...?' 'yeah but i don't really care cuz it's not about pokemon'#'did he bother u about it?' 'i think i bothered him more with my shiny hunting tbh ngl desu'#now take this sheer density and apply it to other scenarios and situations in life and beyond. and feel free to remove the pokemon parts too#just sheer vibes#i can't just kill my ego it wants to live#i can't just kill these demons they want to live! and i've been tolerating them for so long and i hate being wrong grrrrrrgrr#dude i have an actual fuckign . hallucination creature who just stopped talking to me because i didn't care enough to talk to it so it just#kind of . sits around and does nothing but be visible to me#'you should kill yourself NOW' 'i meant in real life' 'I MEANT IN REAL LIFE!!!!' 'wtfff this woman won't listen to me i give uppp' basically#whatever i heart rambling i'm like 1.2k in debt i hate my stupid chungus life i hope i get nuked entangled in my lovers embrace and#and they can't fucking bear to tear us apart#yeah. just like that. bitch#consequences n shit#bitch ...
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what do you do when your boyfriend sucks ass and you feel unloved and inferior all the time and you hate what you've become and he probably does too and you know it's all because of him because you changed for him and he hasn't changed at all
#he says one thing does something else kind of vibe#irresponsible unreliable its so hard for me to hold his attention#i wish that when we broke up when i was like 18 we never made up and i could have moved on to something better and also kept my friends too#im just so angry why did i have to get stuck with this i feel like i deserve a love better than this#i just want to feel like im the one and i matter and we can grow together and i can make choices not be pressured#i adapted so many life choices for this fucking guy and im so unhappy why did i do that hes literally just some guy#yeah i know what im supposed to do dw let me process my pain first#i was never this passive and insecure i used to be a lion now im just a lamb i hate him i hate this relationship i hate what its made me#idc if he sees this idc idc idc im so hurt all the time by his actions his apologies are so empty#he always goes back to the same patterns i know he doesn't change bc i've been begging him to for fucking years#I don't trust him i don't believe him i don't confide i don't want his love bc it feels so off#what he wants isn't me and that's fine but he's so lazy about it like ok then venture forth and leave me alone please#its whatever i'm already dreaming of someone else now anyways
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#it seems disingenuous to suggest that n*te should be ***** if other orgs are doing that to their hc#we had a better record than last year and yes there are things to improve#but we did have a lot of injury#and I do think there was some Indecisiveness on the part of roster construction#like you either have to commit to running 4 guards and no 4 and being ok with the lack of rebounding#or you have to get a real 4 not just when#you start to doubt#and I think that is why with the exception of 2-3 players (depending on if you count Sophie as a starter or not) our whole bench changed#I think we ended with a stronger bench but we probably played more games with 8 or fewer available#than we did with more than 10#and the issue is the way the mercury offense was set up was to have 4 players on the floor be threats from 3#and when you add a 4 for rebounding but who doesn’t have a 3 it messes up the system#and the indecisiveness also happened at the start of the season#they added people back who they liked at camp but got cut because they wanted more size when bg was out#and on top of not having starters who played a whole season you also have a bench that isn’t as cohesive#and the merc via tash have said this was a 2 year process#and yes the Olympics fucked us over as did the post Olympic schedule#fundamentally I think the right move is to keep in place hc who have only had one year and dealt with a lot of injury#could this team have got it all with someone like sandy ot Steph#maybe or maybe could have gone further#but in their absence who do you want who would you rather have#me idk#but like to me I would rather have an owner that spends a ton of money with some startup vibes than someone who has no long term plan#so please not too much on girldad
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