#we as an audience might know they never do fully work their shit out and so are doomed but they don't at that point

[dxxtruction]

"Louis acting like a pimp to Armand" And what is a pimp exactly? Quickly. And, oh so sexual trauma survivors can't engage in kink now without it being all about that? Pet names? They can't be submissive anymore? Consensually? Sexually healthy? Be serious. I'd hardly say there's much power difference between them during all this anyway, except that Louis is freer than Armand and it's been putting a strain on their relationship. Louis wants more from Armand, and less of this 'being his past' for them both, and so helping Armand with this could fix that. It's healthy to want to help your partners get out of a rough patch?

I mean, the whole exchange was very clearly set up as a "I want to help you" after such a great moment of vulnerability Louis feels just how much Armand is desperate for it. Louis called Armand so they could work out a plan together.

And the bit with the umbrella was Louis' way of asking 'are you willing to listen to me?' and Armand said yes by unfolding it. Louis goes on and explains, Armand is allowed to argue against it, but Louis makes his point. And then he gives Armand a way to make his own choice in it too. Armand's already decided 'I want you, more than anything else in the world', but Louis still asks after if he's sure of his choice, and with a name, Arun, that is the one of his fullest agency, running the point home. Honoring the situation Armand calls Louis Maitre - as a way of being like 'I'll do as you've said then'. To make this work he's going to have to give Louis some of the control, yes. But it's the first time such a role is ever established, and it was his choice to do it. So so what if they do it in a very suggestive way? They can't like doing that? I think it's them having fun.

I struggle to find how Louis is being overly domineering here when really he's giving and offering Armand the most agency he's ever had. Same with finding it manipulative. The manipulation was more earlier in the episode I think, when he was stringing him along, giving mixed signals. He's no longer toying with him like that. Louis might be pushing Armand, leading him on to make a decision, but he doesn't mean bad by it.

But back to this pimp thing. I find it frankly offensive that this is where people are going with this. I get it, but to run with it being the case is, on many levels, wrong.

Louis told us episode 1 this was the only sustainable line of work to support his family and keep their standing, at the time. It was never his choice to be doing this either but his blackness allowed no other options. He did what he did so his family could stay in that house and maintain all their same comforts. It gave him privileges most black men didn't have at the time that he wanted to maintain and even have more of. Anyway, it doesn't and had never defined him the way 'being good at running things' had. And in that case he just likes having that kind of control where he can get it, which makes sense.

The world is what placed that kind of role onto him of what he was allowed to be able to run, not himself. And on that he actually treated the sex workers he employed well and respected them enough to give them more opportunity.** He recognizes they don't have much in the way of options either.

Louis employed sex workers, yes, but he didn't subject them to abuse, (like how Armand was)*. He didn't oversee things in a way that would go against their consent (see; episode 1 again)**. Sometimes a job is just a job. And Sex work is work.

Armand's particular past with sexual abuses may strike a particular cord with Louis, given all that, but the very last thing either is thinking is that Louis' pimping Armand out here. This is merely their decision as companions, and had nothing to do with adding another line in a laundry list of selling Armands body out to people at the command of someone else. Armand rescinds some of his control to Louis' wishes, because he wants him, and he trusts him, that's all.

If you aren't allowing Armand that choice, and are doubtful it's fully his, you're putting him right back in the box of being defined by his abuses. Putting him back into that space where he isn't given any agency over what he does. (Which is exactly opposite of what the intent of this scene is for)*.

*: (edit) added for clarity.

**: (strike through) numerous people are saying I'm misremembering these points so disregard it. (Thought he was siding with Bricks, it was the other way around). (Technically one aspect of those opportunities were for getting around the law). I don't have a perfect memory, it happens. Let's not get mad about it. Doesn't change much of the point which is that Louis, now, Louis then, was always considering more about the running things and for stated purposes. So I guess I'd say he may only have respected the SWers enough sometimes for what allowed him to do that, and there are moments he certainly expressed remorse over the fact, but he has a great deal higher respect for Armand that is genuine. It's incomparable. Please read my added notes in the tags, it should address most other concerns.

[lemotmo]

To the Nonny who posted an ask about...

... how they think that Buddie shouldn't happen in season 8, but rather in season 9.

Okay, look. I read your ask and I understand where you are coming from. I get your frustration. I do.

None of us really expect Eddie to jump out of the closet in episode 1 and shack up with Buck in episode 2? You know? Sure, we joke about it, but we all know it's going to take some time.

I understand that you, as a writer, want to see everything developed and treated with caution. I get why you don't want the Buddie narrative to be rushed. I do. In an ideal world, I would happily sit down and watch two seasons of a very obvious Buddie build-up. I think most of us would, because the 'Will they? Won't they?' of it all? Delicious.

But we also need to be serious here. This is 911. This show is filled with underdeveloped narratives and very flawed character arcs. Realism isn't very high on their priority list. It never was.

This is the show that had Buck realise he was bisexual in one single episode and he didn't even flinch.

This is the show that had Eddie on the path to healing, but then decided he should meet his dead wife's doppelgänger so they could take away his son in the end.

This is the show that has Athena running around playing Robocop, threatening people as she, and she alone, solves all the crimes and murders in LA. Yet she gets to keep her job without any problems.

This is the show that had Bobby dead for 14 minutes, but two weeks later he was walking into the 118, smiling and hugging the others, as if he had had a minor cold and he was coming back from a week off sick.

And yes, Eddie (and all of the other characters really) has a lot of issues and realistically this would take years of therapy and working on himself, but we all know it'll only take a few episodes for him to feel better again. Cue Christopher returns home and all is well again in the Diaz household. Happy times.

It is all far from realistic, but fundamentally that's the nature of this show. It's a silly, wholesome, found-family, sometimes nerve-wracking, highly unrealistic fire fighter procedural.

And that's the whole point of it. The audience love this show because it is so ridiculously over the top. The episodes with the disasters are so iconic! These characters go through the craziest shit and always end up being okay again. It's a big old dose of the found-family trope that everybody loves to watch.

So ultimately, I don't fully disagree with you. You have a great point. And for some other more realistic procedurals? I might even have fully agreed.

But for 911? Knowing this show and how they do things? I'm fully convinced that, if they wanted to pull off queer Eddie and canon Buddie in one single season? They could and they would.

They wouldn't go there right away, because they would need to build the tension. 18 episodes is enough for them to take that tension and use it to elevate the hype. And then in episode 18? BOOM! They drop the 'fully canon' Buddie bomb for real. This way people will go into the hiatus all hyped up, which is always a good thing for a TV-show.

If they decide to not drop the 'fully canon' Buddie bomb in season 8, I do fully expect them to make it canonically absolutely clear that Eddie and Buck are in love. Again, all to create hype during hiatus.

In the end, does it really matter how and when it happens? Whatever the showrunners and writers decide upon? All we, as an audience and as a fandom, can do is accept it and go with it.

And you know what? I'll be seated and transfixed in front of my TV-screen for all of it.

What can I say? I love this flawed, but awesome TV-show so much. ❤️

[hiemaldesirae]

The Hazbin Graduate’s Guide to Homicide (3)

HAZBIN'S MIDSEMESTER STUDENT REPORT Student: Vox Vanhal Supervising Staff: Professor Enoch Leviathan Sponsor: Not Applicable To the Board: Vox Vanhal may be one of the most brilliant students this school has seen in decades. In all my years of teaching at Hazbin, I have never met a student more insanely ready to learn and apply their skills- due in part, of course, to said student's own possible insanity. I mean this in a jovial way, of course, but I will admit that when young Vanhal's true identity was revealed to me that my first thought was along the lines of 'is this student insane?' Whether or not my student's reason should be called into question is something myself and my fellow professor Asmodeus have discussed in length, but there is one thing that we can definitively agree on: If there is any one student in this school who I would choose to place my bets on, it would be Vox Vanhal. There is nothing more to say at this time of report evaluation. Sincerely, Professor Leviathan.

May God's blessings be with you now and at the hour of our deaths, Amen.

[ 1 ] / [ 2 ] (<- read these first for context and more murder academy radiostatic content!)

Though Alastor may have thought that Vox was much more knowledgable in how Hazbin's Institution for Homicide worked, the truth was, Vox was still fully flying on the seat of his own coattails.

He had no damn clue what he was doing still, and although it'd been two weeks since he'd arrived, part of him still felt like how he did when he'd first arrived: hesitant, scared, not knowing where to go or what to do besides the want to make his boss suffer as he killed him.

That level of animosity might sound strange to anyone not a Hazbin student or alumnus, but it was perfectly normal for any student enrolled in the academy to have such feelings. After all, there was quite a rigorous process involved in the application, and for Vox, this application process (and what led to it) was perhaps more intense than most.

There had once been a time where Vox had dreamed of becoming a Hollywood starlet, one who lit up the silver screen and was blessed by hundreds of thousands of cheering, dedicated fans who would fawn over his every move and action. He'd wanted to follow in his mother's footsteps, at one point. But after taking on his first roles in Carmine Studios, the glamour of Hollywood had shattered like fine glass.

"Miss Vesper! Would you please look over here for a second?"

"Miss Vesper, when is your next movie coming out?!"

"Miss Vesper, is it true that you and your co-star on Anna Karenina, Valentino Vega had an affair-?"

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! That- fucking bastard!" Vox rushed into the privacy of his and Val's shared apartment, slamming the door behind him as he collapsed into the couch, head cradled in his hands. He couldn't even begin to start detailing the number of ways he'd wanted to fucking butcher and rip apart his boss.

Andrealphus Goetia was no stranger to the spotlight, naturally. One of Hollywood's top directors, the man had been an influential cornerstone in the history of movie-making, a real legend to light the days. But behind that picturesque platinum reputation laid a monstrous piece of shit.

It had been a complete accident that Andrealphus had found out about Vox's identity.

Vox himself hadn't even really planned out what to do about himself at that point, only that he'd known that the dresses he wore on screen were far more suited to his best friend than they were for him. Knew that the copious amounts of makeup flattened on him everyday made him feel more like a clown than a princess, that it was the most uncomfortable feeling to have to sit and play the pretty face for the audience's sake.

But he persisted, telling himself, one more year, one more year til my savings account has enough to supply Val and I with a comfortable life and we can leave.

But of course- of course Andrealphus had to ruin it for him.

The man had found out and immediately proceeded to blackmailing Vox with the information, holding things such as promotions, media gossip and rumors over his head. And now... now... Vox stared down at the script he held clutched in his hand, his knuckles turning white as he grasped it with an iron grip.

"Dieser verdammte bastard," Vox muttered under his breath.

Though he'd never loved the spotlight that came with his first taste of fame, he had loved acting. Had loved being adored for his skill, applauded for the emotions that he could evoke in crowds of people and the way he could twist people's hearts. He had wanted to be one of the best, a household name.

And now, he stared down at the script for a movie that Andrealphus knew would tank his reputation. It was absolute bullshit. The plot was held together by thin strings and a bit of glue, despite being an adaptation of one of the past decade's best selling books. Not only that, but the moment he left the safety of the apartment once more, he would also have to contend with the rumors that were steadily piling against him and dragging his loved ones and friends into it too.

All this, because Vox had refused to sleep with his shitty boss.

He could still hear the fucker's voice- come on, don't you wanna say that you got a piece of me? I'll even leave out the part about you being a transvestite, darling, just the fact that I got a piece of you is enough.

God. If only.... if only he could see that bastard's face when he crushed his fucking skull in between his hands. He wanted to see Andrealphus' stupid face contort in revulsion and terror when Vox finally did the deed, wanted to bathe in the the fotze's inbred blood. He'd do anything for the chance to just kill that piece of shit-

"Amorcito?"

Val's voice makes Vox jump on the spot, quickly shifting to hide the script from view. His friend comes around the corner, eyebrows furrowed with concern, and it's this that makes Vox break his composure, a single tear falling down his face as Val frowns, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "Voxxy, amor... tell me what's wrong."

And because he can never keep his mouth shut when it comes to his best friend, Vox tells him everything. Val nods along, pauses at the right moments, all of that stuff that friends do when they're trying to let you know that they'd rip apart your shitty boss if not for the law.

But- and perhaps this is something that Vox knew deep down to be true anyway- Val was a bit different in that aspect. He'd met the man under... less than legal circumstances, after all, and he knew that Val was the heir to quite the illustrous cartel career.

So when Valentino stops him with a firm hand on the shoulder and hands him an application paper for Hazbin, telling him to think it through, Vox barely takes even a second glance at it before filling it out.

Now, two months later and sitting in the auditorium of Hazbin's famed Music Hall, Vox doesn't find himself regretting the decision. Sure, it's a bit lonely without Val's supporting presence by his side, but the students he's met so far have proved to be some of the friendliest people he's had the pleasure of knowing: ironic, considering the kind of school they're studying at. And he's even managed to make a friend! Not that bad a start, altogether.

Vox absentmindedly doodles on the edge of his notes as Professor Leviathan's soothing voice lectures them on the importance of a proper alibi. "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, but it has an airtight alibi, it is...?"

"Not a duck," the auditorium echoes back to the professor, who nods, looking satisfied with the class's response. "So, then! The first step to alibi making is...? Miss Velvette, perhaps you'd like to answer this one for us?"

The girl sitting beside Vox shoots up in her seat, looking as if she'd just fallen asleep and was awoken by the professor's question. "Uh... the..."

After a moment of silence and stuttering, Vox takes pity on the girl, sliding Velvette over a slide of paper that she squints at before reading. "Make sure you're in a different place from the crime?"

"And how would I do that?"

"I... uh. Use an accomplice...?" Velvette stutters.

Professor Leviathan shakes his head, looking disappointed. "Not quite. One thing you will have to learn at Hazbin's is that you should never rely on any other person to carry your deed out for you. No hiring accomplices- after all, paid personnel's loyalty is shaky and they have no honor code preventing them from taking you to the police- and absolutely no committing crimes as lovers, unless you can guarantee that neither of you will be snitching. Would anyone else like to take a try?"

Vox raises his hand hesitantly. "Move the crime scene or otherwise obscure the culprit?"

Professor Leviathan snaps his fingers, "Yes! Absolutely. One of the best ways to make yourself an iron clad alibi is, if the pope is shot in the church at midnight, make sure that you are seen halfway across town in the bar at midnight; so drunk that you cannot even leave until your wife comes to pick you up at two- and no one will suspect you, even if he was actually killed right outside the pub and moved to the church instead. By moving the crime scene, you can make yourself an ironclad alibi. Obscuring the identity of the perpetrator and making it someone who couldn't possibly be you also works splendidly. After all, if the police believe the murderer to be a six foot tall adult man, then the actual perpetrator, a four foot tall young woman, would be able to pass by completely unnoticed. Thank you for that input, Vox. Now, onto the actual creation of such an alibi..."

When class ends, Vox is the first to leave his seat and head for the door, intending on leaving and getting to Track with Professor Satan as quick as possible when someone stops him in his tracks with a firm grip on his shoulder.

"Hey. Vox Vanhal, right?"

"That would be me, yes," Vox turns to face the person he's talking to, only to be met with the young woman that Professor Leviathan had called out in class earlier. "You were... Velvette?"

"Yep, that's me," the chipper young woman responds. "Listen, I know you don't know me at all, but I really need to get through this school year. Like- look, okay, I'm in a little bit over my head right now. I still want to go here and do what everyone here does, of course, I'd love to just go and plunge a damn butcher's knife into my cunt of an ex-friend's neck, but... well, you saw how I did back in class- look, what I'm trying to get at is I need someone to help me. And you're like, Leviathan's star student. So- I don't care what I have to do, I'll-"

Vox holds up a hand to stop her.

"I don't need you to do anything for me, unless you've got any tips on how to kill my boss and make him suffer during it. But I'll help you with whatever you need to study during your courses. Just..." He pauses, taking a moment to think out what he's about to ask. "Could you teach me how you did your makeup on your own?"

Velvette blinks, clearly not expecting that response. She laughs, a shrill, sharp bark and grabs his hand to shake it firmly. "Yeah, 'course I can. So, do we have a deal?"

"We do," Vox smiles. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

[lovecolibri]

Am I a loser for fearing that this will be like BT 1.0 in that it is dragged out and remains stale and chemistry-less and harmful to Buck's character (for being with a not good person and not caring about said person's bad deeds) and the twist will be that it doesn't end 😭 Don't hate me for being negative...I was not negative until today, seeing that gremlin in the promotions and Tim showing favoritism to anti-Buddies yet again on FB.

And it's so funny that all my concern stems from social media activity and nothing about what I'm seeing on the show itself. Because the show has shown he is a non-entity - giving him and Buck no development, HIM no development, no evolution, no appeal, since last season. Yet maybe the writing and producing IS just that bad now.

Sorry to be a bit of a pessimist. I just feel like the vibe shifted dramatically over the past day and I'm in my feelings, I guess.

First of all, you're not a loser! There is a long history of TV shows NOT following through on things for fans of a popular fandom ship, including this one, back ins season 4, leading to that godawful BT 1.0 mess in the first place!

There is a lot of reasons this gets compared to the OG BT, because the show seems to be giving them no development and he's so clearly WRONG for Buck and seems to enjoy talking down to him and watching him deflate a little each time, and also it makes Buck look kinda shitty for dating someone who purposefully hurt, and delighted in hurting people Buck loves. I have said multiple times I wasn't ever worried about tay kay as a LI in s4 because she called him "needy" in that nasty voice on the heels of the audience seeing how absolutely shit his parents were and where all those issues came from, so I was sure that was the narrative telling us she wasn't going to work out. Only to get slapped in the face with an entire fucking season of Buck looking miserable with her, which was never addressed, him trying to talk about their issues and the firefam lecturing HIM about HIS failings instead of ever being allowed to talk about how they felt about her given their past (you can't tell me back in s4 Athena would EVER willingly let that woman in her and Bobby's home, much less feed her), and then watch her nearly get Chim and Hen killed and STILL get a fucking "amicable" breakup of the "oh no one was really to blame, it just didn't work out" variety. So like. Yeah, sometimes the writing is just That Bad 🤷🏻‍♀️

What I will say about all of that though, is we now have information we didn't back in s4. Information like, we weren't seeing things and there WAS a set up planned, and discussed with Oliver (at least, likely Ryan too since the shooting was Like That and what the fuck other bi realization was Buck gonna have, or gay realization was Eddie gonna have after his breakup with Ana was Like That), but the network forced the changes. Tim fucked off to go smash other dolls together (and lost his mind a little bit over on LS, probably because he leveraged that shit into getting to do whatever he wanted, plus the whole RL effect), and the story got changed and, as Tim pointed out, it made the show markedly worse. I'm not putting all my faith and trust in a network, but I will say ABC knows what kind of accolades, awards, and hype this kind of story will bring them and that is something I DO trust.

8x01 might be fluke like the handful of watchable episodes in s5-6, but it truly felt like the Buck we know and love was back, the focus was on the core four and on the emergencies, there was *heart* in the emergency, we got dispatch properly involved, and even the Athena stuff took a turn for a more rescue-focused adventure than the Con-Air prison transport plane mishap I was expecting. The bees sounded ridiculous and like they could be one emergency, like freeway shark my beloved, or *maybe* hold a whole episode, but I was NOT expecting much for a disaster opening and was fully prepared for s5 levels of zoo animals promotion vs actual 3 episodes of creeper being creepy cop storyline. But they actually...kinda pulled it off?? It's no tsunami or earthquake by a LONG shot, and I'm still reserving judgment until the arc is over (I enjoyed the cruise ship disaster but it needed more core four on sight helping with rescues which make it drag a little being so separate from everything else), but it felt like a season 2 or 3 episode at heart!

All this to say, *EYE*, notorious salt gremlin and hater (because trying for low expectations is what works for me!), am feeling more hopeful about the show as a whole than I have in awhile. And I'm going to hold your hand so gently when I give this advice, you can take it or not (for some people, needing to know everything is what works for them, so you do you!), but do not listen to that middle-aged white man and what he does on facebook. Or anywhere. Do not listen to that man! He is a shit-stirrer, and he is a liar! They all are in interviews! Him and Oliver both said "hardly any time skip" and then they did the exact same 3 month time skip they have ALWAYS done between the spring season ending and the fall premier! He lies! He interacts with shit he probably doesn't even read, just promotes his show! He does not care about upsetting us because people shouting over each other about the show just reads to him, and the people above him to let him do things, as the show having enough impact to be talked about! I personally have good feelings because he likes to get his way and ABC gave him something in 4 episodes he'd been trying to do since s4. And they originally green-lit it being another character so it feels like there were plans for both and timing just got switched.

DO NOT LET THAT MAN STEAL YOUR JOY!

I'm not going to tell you that of course it's all going to work out and be perfect and everything we wanted, but I WILL say, we all saw how fucking miserable Oliver was in s5 and 6, how checked out and disengaged he was (he was SO CLOSE and they TOOK IT from him! Fuck FOX forever!), and we saw how he was/is in interviews with or about that man, vs how happy and excited he was/is when talking about Ryan/Eddie/Buddie right now, how much he's engaging and sharing, and WHAT he is sharing. We saw the shift from filming episodes 5-6 to the back half of s7 for both him and Ryan. It's very loud, and while some kinda similar vibes have come through before, we have knowledge now we didn't before about why we kept getting those vibes and then having them pulled back. We know WHO was standing in the way and it wasn't Tim and it sure as fuck wasn't Oliver or Ryan, and that doesn't appear to be an issue anymore. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hope my rambling incoherence was helpful, Nonnie!

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 2, Match 4 TEAR DROP vs. BACKDRAFT

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for TEAR DROP:

"yuno kashiki enthusiast here anyways tear drop propaganda WE BALL

let's start off with the lyrics! holy fuck, i'm so glad yuno finally got to say what she's wanted to say!!

and she fully shows the fact that she does compensated dating through the lyrics ("the wanted wanting the wanted")

and even if it sounds like she's scolding the audience for the song, she's also scolding her clients! they only perceive her as a certain type of character and deciding that's all she is. She's upset that we decided based on how "naïve" she looked instead of her actual crime (to be honest, I could write a whole analysis into why her murder is perfect for her character anywa) and she doesn't care what will happen to her, she needs her opinions heard

also kinda rap section?? banger fr

THE VISUALS!! GOOD LORD THE VISUALS!!! THEY ARE SO BANGER!!! they're really pretty and gosh i literally don't know what to say, the scene where vampire is in the background and it transitions to yuno sitting on her bed... the pink tinted glasses (YES FUCK I LOVE THAT MAN!!!!) THE COAT!! THOSE INBETWREN SCENES i'm obbing

AND THE INSTRUMENTAL!! PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU ALL LISTEN TO THE INSTRUMRNTAL OF HER SONG THERES SO MANY SMALL DETAILS!! SIRENS, TEAR DROPS RAHHH THE CLAPS/CLICKING TJE TECHNO PIANO GUITAR??? THE INSTRIMENTS I CANT NAME I THINK THEY ALL HAVE SOME READON OF BEING IN THE SONG AND I WILL FIND OUT IN AN ANAKYSIS POST I JUDT LOVE IT AUEUEU

literally tear drop is the banger ever i listen to this shit religiously thank you for listening to my tear drop propaganda"

---

-Yuno’s voice. Enough said. -The imagery in the MV is brilliantly used, and doesn’t shy away from the horrors of Yuno’s line of work. -Vampire cameo!!! -Almost Lo-Fi vibes to the instrumental?? I can’t really explain it but it’s a vibe and I’m 100% here for it,

---

"For teardrop: The pink aesthetic in the MV as a whole makes it super nice to look at :D"

Propaganda for BACKDRAFT:

"Backdraft may be a minute shorter than Bring It On, but it’s still over three minutes long, and it makes up for the lost minute with a complex form. The “Pressure! Pressure!” might be the only part that truly repeats.

At the beginning, Fuuta is showing off, acting cool. Then the music slows down as he ponders his verdict. Then the music picks up the pace again and gets more and more frantic as the consequences of his actions catch up to him.

See that structure in the three distinct verses that sound nothing like anything else in the song: cool, contemplative, and “oh no, what have I done”.

The “chorus” (burn burn!) never stays the same. You’ve got the “cool” first chorus. Then you have the muted second chorus as it sinks in that Fuuta’s victim was a middle-school girl, which leads into the tense final chorus (which is twice as long as the first) as the victim and Fuuta both burn.

The instrumental and the spoken-word from the beginning combine in the end, changing the mood of the stanza from confident and showy to panicked and desperate.

And the words… You can hear the wordplay in the last stanza, even if you don’t understand it.

Appreciate this chaotic masterpiece of a song."

---

- Fuuta being very cocky at first before realizing how fucked he is (it is kinda funny) - The use of spray cans and overall graffiti symbolism, it’s so good - The multiple eyes and people off camera showing how paranoid Fuuta has become, it’s really well done without being obvious - The name backdraft meaning when a fire deprived of oxygen gets a sudden influx of it. A kind of metaphor for what Fuuta did. Then it being shown through a spray can explosion, aaaa it’s really cool! - Fuuta’s overall look changing, being more realistic on how he actually looks contrasting Bring It On’s idealistic version of himself - Es at the end!! The only time Es shows up in a prisoner’s MV!!! And they looks so damn cool - Also the entire eye thing referencing the audience, he perceives us lmfao

---

"Back draft is incredible because it not only has great visual symbolism with the use of the spray cans but its visual symbolism shows a progression from ‘Bring it on’. In ‘Bring it on’ the channelling is glorious , fuuta is surrounded by people and fuuta idealised himself (taller , better teeth , better posture ect) , the people he cancelled were portrayed as these powerful rpg monsters but now in back now the channelling is portrayed as vandalism a crime as destructive , the ally is empty we only ever see others as hands or his victim fuuta is alone and fuuta is no longer idealising his appearance and his mind is now portraying his victim as a harmless cutesy drawing. This shows a change in how fuuta views his crime between T1 and T2. It wasn’t glorious, it wasn't justified , he was at fault. The fire being recontextsied as something out of control , all consuming and out of control which is the opposite of how it was portrayed in ‘Bring it on’ we really see how the vote has changed fuuta."

"There are so many things in the song that show a progression "

-“ deliciously scorched till your mouth waters” > “I don’t want any more”

-fuuta spray paints the camera hen as the end es spray paints him/the camera

-the pressure graffiti changing

"There’s so many interesting details like the applause towards the start of the song , the personality in the subtitles like them going from “Burn , burn!” To “burn , burn?” But the pressure’s punctuation mark stayed the same:   “pressure , pressure!” , the way FIRE is the only word in full caps till LIES. The thumbs down fuuta does during “the fights up here! Come up to the ring and face me!” Part which is like his T1 art , the way the lighting changes from green towards the start and becomes red by the end (stop go colours) , The way fuuta is constantly interacting with the camera , spray painting it twice and kicking it."

"Backdraft actually makes amazing use of the camera , things are often shown from the (camera)audience’s perspective rather than us seeing the events removed. We are there like we are the ones doing it/looking through the eyes of the person doing it. When fuuta/the others spray paint the graffiti of his victim and the ice gorilla it's from the audience’s perspective , we don’t see them do it, we see it like we are doing it. When the spraypaint can explodes it's like it’s exploding in our face and then when es spray paints fuuta at the end they are spray painting the camera(audience). "

"Backdraft makes the most references to the voting system and uses it well to make the audience re-examine if they really are any different. Aren’t we using little information and inferences to hold people accountable for crimes we have no stake in? Aren’t we causing unintended harm? Aren’t we judging them from the safety of our screens? "

"And on a more silly level"

-ARTHUR CONANT GOES SO HARD IN THE VOCALS!!!! COME ON LISTEN TO BURN BURN AND TELL ME THIS MAN ISN’T GIVING IT HIS ALL!

-cat mouth fuuta :3 how can you not love cat mouth fuuta?

-lowpolydog designed amazing graffiti 

[unsentimentaltranslator]

“Wait, why are the edgelords right about the people who make ‘translation is loss’ posts?”

I don’t want any of the people I reblogged from under my old account, or any of the people I will undoubtedly reblog from under this account, to think I’m judging them for reblogging those posts. Those posts are the only point of view that non-translators on here tend to see, both because media translation is more interesting to the average non-translator than the majority of what we do and because while the tortured artist types are posting their laments on the internet, the rest of us are typically just getting on with our work. But “translation is sad because you can’t translate great literature in a way that fully replicates the experience enjoyed by those who speak the original language” is…not the best way to conceptualise translation for numerous reasons.

1. Most translators will never get to work on high-profile literature projects. You know that line in the song Don’t Be A Lawyer in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend where he says “Did you hope one day you’d find a way to spend four years working on a pharmaceutical company’s merger with another pharmaceutical company?” Yeah. And that’s not always a bad thing. “Translation is loss” is a romantic way of saying “if you work on prestigious literary projects, EVERYONE will have an opinion about the translation you did and many of those opinions will be the same kind of bitching that any high-profile creator has to deal with”. At most, I’d be willing to work on something like Marie Kondo’s books, where the audience is interested in the substance, not the style. Beyond that, forget it. I know what people are like.

2. Translation loss in prestigious literature is the kind that’s most talked about, but it’s one of the least actually consequential kinds. Not getting 100% of the original experience of reading a novel might be a bit of a bummer, but it’s not comparable to people dying because someone messed up a translation for an aircraft or a medical device or a bridge. It just isn’t. In my country, a dodgy translation of a treaty occupies the same place in our history as the smallpox-covered blankets in American history. That’s a tragedy. “We can be sad about both!” But you’re not.

3. Bridging the gaps between the two languages is OUR FUCKING JOB. If it was easy, we wouldn’t be hired in the first place. Academic study for translators is not supposed to be a fucking funeral for the source text (again, where would we be if translators in fields like aviation, medicine and construction did that?!); it is supposed to equip you with the analytical and problem-solving skills necessary to create the best target text possible. Which brings me to my final point:

4. If you’re a novice translator, the reason you find it so difficult to convey the source text in a way that is both accurate and natural is BECAUSE YOU ARE NEW TO THIS. You are going to need a lot of corrections at first. WE ALL DO. Some people never get good enough to translate professionally, just as not everyone is cut out to be a professional writer or artist or doctor or lawyer or teacher or pilot or athlete. That isn’t the profession’s fault. Every novice translator has to deal with a difficult learning curve and you can either blame it on the inherent nature of the profession or you can work on becoming the best translator you can be.

In closing:

 “ReAdEr i HaVe TaKeN LiBeRTiEs” NO FUCKING SHIT.

[quarterlifecrisis-activated]

So I’ve been thinking about my earlier post (idk how to link posts 🤷🏻‍♀️ so it’s the one about Zheng) and I’ve been trying to figure out her character arc. Because she’s not in the show a lot and I know there’s more there that got cut for time. I’ll be honest and say I never fully understood why she went to Ricky for her plan or what her full motivation was. I have some theories but I’m trying to piece together an arc using the gaps in said arc so it might be rough. So if you disagree please let me know because I’d love to discuss this more.

I love Zheng and I think she deserved more screen time in season 2. I tend to believe that Zheng does operate with good intentions overall, but when the point was raised about some of her totalitarian tendencies I had to restructure my view of the character. Because we don’t see much of her I use the little we do see and what other characters say about her to form my opinions. But there are different ways to interpret things and I go back and forth on what is actually going on. For example, her “join me or die” line is interesting. I took that line as a woah harsh, but that’s just piracy. We as an audience have to adjust our standards of acceptable behavior towards what is common for pirates. On the other hand that line indicates that Zheng doesn’t let people walk away from the table. And her recruitment of the Republic of Pirates is in a similar vein. Again, as a viewer I took what she was doing as kind of a pirate union, because of her demand for a livable wage as well as Olu, Jim, and Archie’s positive reaction towards it. Of course it’s also extortion by a powerful crime boss, which is far less wholesome. (Even though extortion of the British Crown is rad as hell.) I believe that these two opposing views are in a way both true and intentional of the writers.

Which brings me to Ricky and Zheng. I was caught off guard originally when I saw them meet together and initially brushed it off as “plot stuff that needed to happen”. But I think there’s something there. In many ways there are parallels between Zheng and Ricky, they’re both in charge (kinda for Ricky) of massive fleets and they both are striving for even more power. In Impossible Birds they have similar lines Ricky calls people rubes who don’t know the puzzle chest is valuable. And Zheng in the same episode says “you people know so little” in reference to the same chest. While I believe Zheng’s statement comes from her years of experience, Ricky’s is very obviously classist. She’s a character that is on the path to becoming like the people she hates. If she got that power she could very well turn into that authoritarian leader who only cares about power. But it’s her interaction with the crew and her relationship with Olu that is going to pull her back. We see her appreciation for Stede and the crew grow throughout the season, whereas she rejected and mocked it at the start. The destruction of her fleet was necessary and I don’t think it’s going to come back.

Which leads me to season 3 predictions. Cause the shows coming back and no one tell me otherwise. Zheng’s goal is to get Ricky and rebuild her fleet. I think Jim is going to play into her arc a lot during this season. They understand wanting Revenge and will probably push Zheng to appreciate the people around her, like Olu. Her ultimate arc (fitting with the theme of the show) will be about realizing the error of her ways and understanding community and softness. My theory on kind of how this happens is they’ll meet Captain Henry Morgan. I’ve been listening to Howard Pyle’s Book of Pirates at work and it gave me ideas. Captain Morgan has a fleet to rival Ricky’s and I can see them enlisting his help to get revenge. He also is a piece of shit. He stole money from his own men and fucked off and is still regarded as a great pirate. I can see him being like a Mr. Beast type, where he’s a cult of personality that cares little for other peoples safety but he still has a rabid following. It’ll be a great parallel as to what Zheng does not want to become. We’ll also get to see how pirates typically operate (Stede and Zheng are the exceptions) which will provide more context to Ed’s Kraken era. It’ll be a great way for the show to say how different Ed was truly operating in regards to pirate culture. I think it’ll be similar to his Kraken era but the confirmation will be nice to get.

Anyway, let me know what y’all think cause I’m spit balling her and I’d love to discuss.

[teeth-cable]

You know if Vivziepop wanted Helluva to transition from comedy to drama there was an easy ways to do its without jumping the shark.

The imps are hired killers payed by sinners who have done terrible shit.

Don't expect me to believe I.M.P. hasn't killed innocent people because you really think that awful people only have grudges against awful people.

Like Murder Family would be a great set up for this eventually coming up because Moxxie can't justify killing innocent people. Like all the clients have been evil so he can sleep at night but if there's a target who has done nothing wrong is Moxxie gonna be able to cross that line? Like this is prime conflict potential within I.M.P.

Maybe as the series progresses the main I.M.P. plot the imps get hired to kill for pettier and more petty shit. Hell have Stolas send them on missions like it was set up in the pilot if you want to justify him being here more and not take a left turn in the plot. Maybe have characters comment on how ridiculous the reason for revenge is.

Then imagine one day if the client is an abuser who was killed by their victim in self defense. As the episode goes on we see hints and clues to what went down. Maybe Moxxie and Loona (if she is there) start putting the pieces together. While Blitzo who doesn't give a shit about the target ignores them or doesn't notice. Millie has a healthier life overall so she might interpret the target and client doing typical stuff she sees in Wrath or both evil.

Then when Moxxie or Loona finds the target and learns the truth... There's a few ways for it to play out.

1. The target is let go

2. They hesitate and either Millie or Blitzo take the target out.

Either way it devolves into an argument about morality and i don't expect Moxxie or Loona to fully reveal backstories especially since Millie doesn't know what went down in Moxxie's life but i would think they would hint at it. Maybe Loona could elude to it:

"Blitzo, do you remember when you took me in. The shithole I grew up in! Did you think for a moment I was never hurt? You want to do the dirty work of someone like those assholes?"

Moxxie would probably just stare at Millie intensely.

Like showing a conflict of morals is such a good way to develop your characters and see what lines they will or won't cross and the characters are literally assassins yet that only comes up once and meant nothing because Martha is evil.

If the characters are morally grey, deep and complex like Vivziepop claims yet she does nothing to have the characters morals challenged. Like Moxxie having issues was portrayed as him being in the wrong and a joke. The closest we get to that genuine conflict is Harvest Moon festival where you legitimately can't tell if Blitzo is tempted to let Stolas die and join Striker. Like Striker has legitimate decent points to bring up that are hard to argue against. We know Blitzo isn't a person who believes murder is wrong so that concept wouldn't be the source of conflict. The source is even though he does dislike Stolas at the point and wants to be unshackled and free is he willing to let him live despite that?

We also see that Striker's words did have an impact on Blitzo despite the choice to go against him being made. That's good shit. Like does this mean Blitzo could've easily chosen to let Stolas die then?

Like that's a very complex bucket of worms to address but alas Striker's character seems like it is going to slowly degrade as the show goes on just to dump that bucket of worms in the ocean because if Striker is going to be retconned as a selfish bigot that ruins the moral ambiguity of this scene. Like you can have evil characters tempt characters in media, common trope and all. But usually the audience knows they are evil or its a plot twist. Usually with known evil characters its temptation mainly when you know the protagonist is going to stay on the side of good. However if the audience knows but the protagonist doesn't/plot twist that nobody knows its usually manipulation because if the protagonist chooses their morals then that's gonna out the villain as one.

Morally grey antagonists like Striker are usually 50/50 in what choice the character chooses because grey villains always have somewhat of a point that makes them gray after all. Now im not invalidating manipulation as a valid tactic in storytelling by villains, if its written well it can show power not by might but with words and add a pinch of tragedy or saying morally grey ones cant manipulate but Im just using broad strokes to paint how if Striker gets retconned it takes away from Blitzos decision. It makes it less of a hard choice if Striker is just going to be made into what Vivziepop is intending based off twitter likes.

Like the framing ruins Blitzo being morally grey if Striker is a generic asshole. Instead Blitzo will fall into more of an almost manipulated hero. Which makes him more innocent in the matter.

Then we have Millie. Lets be honest Millie has two traits which is cheerful/sweet and good at killing and everything plot relevant to her is tied to Moxxie.

Like she killed people in her neighborhood. Like Millie legitimately wants to kill people and is disappointed when she's not allowed to.

Like if she's so nonchalant with murder why not have that be tested then? Like what's her line she wont cross in killing or how does her being a serial killer with no remorse who takes pleasure in it effect her life.

Like Millie unlike the rest of the cast has a decent life

Like if she's ignorant to peoples issues because of her blessed life like a lot of people are when they don't research other peoples experiences (this is proven by the amitheasshole subreddit) co-opt that into her murder sprees. Like would Millie not care if the target was an orphan? Would Millie kill a child? If so how does her lack of morals effect her relationships with others or viewpoint of the world.

Like we know from the Alastor comic despite him being a mass murderer he doesn't kill the weak and will go out of his way to protect them, that's moral grayness.

Like the only moral grayness with Millie is her being a killer but... Everyone in Helluva is... Shes not unique in that regard and is often praised for her bloodlust.

But her being so wrathful makes me question why Moxxie even married her because their morals are clearly different. Like Moxxie was traumatized by his time in the mafia and killed a man at like 5 and immediately learned his father killed his mother in the same way. Why would Moxxie want to fuck someone who realistically if Helluva took place irl would trigger him.

Honestly I question why Moxxie is in I.M.P. but that's a different discussion.

Millie and Moxxie having different morals could work if you address it because rn its a huge ass elephant. Like im supposed to buy that these two are a couple who are madly in love and have no issues at all when one of them was traumatized by murder and the other doesn't care to turn the ocean red???

Like if Millie had other traits or we knew her killing morals then I could buy them actually marrying the other.

Just the lack of morals ambiguity is fucking nuts in a show about assassins.

Out of all the rewrites I have read for Helluva Boss, this one is my favorite so far. The main series drama being the moral ambiguity of assassinates makes so much sense. Not only does it relate to the premise of a work class comedy that Viv advertised but also there is a lot more you can work with for drama.

I alway had a few problems with Stotliz becoming the main drama of the show. First, as the series continued it became more about Stotliz and less about the imps and their job, the very thing Viv promised and advertised the show will be. Second Blitzo and Stolas are only affected by their relationship. Moxxie and Millie aren't affected and Octavia and Stella just get repeated plot lines. Nothing new happens and it's strange because Stolas has so much power in Hell that when he screws up, it should have big consequences. There should be new arcs about Octavia being resentful towards Stolas instead of only running away and forgiving him, Stella using her status and power to smear Stolas's reputation, and the M&M should actually be worried about Stotliz because their jobs are made possible by the relationship so if Blitzo and Stolas have a falling out and they can't use the grimore anymore, they will be out of a job. Relating to this, how come the stress of the relationship and breakup hasn't change Blitzo? He has trauma and PTSD towards relationships because all of his pervious ones failed terribly. When he broke up with Stolas, shouldn't he have become more distance towards imps because he got hurt again and doesn't want to risk the same fate with the only friends he has left? Maybe he becomes more creepy and invasive about the M&M because he's so desperately want to feel intimacy and wants to know what they're doing right and what he's doing wrong, there needs to be some kind of change in his character and relationships to show how the breakup impacted him. Third, Stolas is just a pointless character to have in the main cast. He doesn't relate to the majority of the IMP crew, his arc about being a gay man stuck in an abusive relationship doesn't relate to the show being a work place comedy about assassins, and his only plot importance is giving the imps the Grimore. Stolas could have just been a side character who has three minutes of screentime in every Ep to establish his relationship with Blitzo and his purpose or just be a guy we only know though Blitzo's dialogue, there is no reason for him to have such a big role in the context of Helluva Boss being a show about imps assassinations. Maybe Stotliz could be a running side-plot throughout the show and it comes full-circle when Stolas orders the IMPs to kill Stella but there is no reason for Stotliz to become the main focus on the show especially when it doesn't related imps or assassination.

This rewrite explores the idea of morals and ethics better and fleshes out and fits the characters' theme better. Moxxie is a great example of this, he doesn't want to kill innocent people and so far all the people he has kill, he assumes were or learned are assholes but what will he do when he realize he was send to kill a harmless person? I'm curious how this new conflict will affect Loona because most of the time she never goes on missions to assassinate and she pretends to not care about other people. Also how will this contradict her relationship with Blitzo? Will Blitzo still kill the person despite Loona saying how wrong it is, he doesn't want to hurt her but at the same time, it's their job to kill people and he just doesn't care about the person they kill. After he kills the person, how will Loona react? Same thing with M&M, maybe Moxxie married Millie because he thought she was a sweet girl with a brute side but he realizes from their job that Millie is a bloodlust person who loves killing and doesn't care about the ethics and morals. This causes a strife in their relationship just like with Blitzo and Loona and now it becomes a "Us vs Them" situation where Moxxie and Loona become closer and trying to convince them to only kill terrible people but Blitzo and Mille doesn't care but they're not being mean because they're assholes but because in Hell it's difficult for imps to be respected and if killing both terrible and innocent people can give the imps and their job respect then they will continued to kill. Honestly this drama just works better because now everyone in the main cast is affected and we get to learn about their relationships and how people's backstories affect their world views.

[acaciusbride]

Unconditionally: Joel Miller x OC { Part 1/10 }

Summary: Lucy loves Joel Miller unconditionally. A cross country trip to escort an immune, bad mouthed teenager to safety might just prove it.

CWs: canon typical violence / unsafe sex / age gap / language / spoilers (if anyone cares) / canon divergence / mentions of attempted sexual assault / themes of previous suicidal tendencies

Note: this work is intended for adult audiences only. It is not strictly canon compliant, and was originally posted to A03 when I first ventured into the fandom.

Unconditionally. Part One of Thirteen.

Joel doesn’t want to stay the night, not really. It feels too much like invading the peace, too much like an intrusion, even though Bill and Frank are dead. Maybe that’s precisely why it feels that way.

It feels too much like an intrusion, and he’s lost enough, as of late. He didn’t much like Bill, and he’s certain that feeling was mutual. Grudgingly, he admits he didn’t mind Frank so much. He was hard to dislike, even by someone as prickly as Joel. He can’t afford to get caught up in thinking on it, not too heavily. Even with Tess gone… he has two travelling companions still relying on him. One more than the other, he supposed, on account of Ellie being a goddamn kid. Lucy, not so much. The younger woman he met by chance in the QZ isn’t bad with a weapon, and she’s good at being stealthy. All good traits in a smuggler. He never wanted a fucking apprentice, or whatever the hell she started as, but when she found out he was leaving the QZ, she’d pretty much invited herself along to “watch his dumb ass”. He hadn’t exactly argued.

As requested in the letter, he doesn’t go into the bedroom. What he does do, before he showers, is take inventory of the gas canisters, the truck, the supplies in the garage. Only once he has an idea of what they’re working with, does he relent to Ellie’s nagging and hit the shower.

For a kid, she’s persistent.

It’s not his ideal scenario, to crash for the night in the bunker Bill installed beneath his house long before the infection ever started, but it soon becomes clear to him that it’s the scenario he gets.

Ellie’s rubbing her eyes, clearly exhausted but making a show of pretending she isn’t; even the hype of the handgun she pocketed earlier can’t fight off fatigue. Joel doesn’t know about the weapon, nor does Lucy, and in Ellie’s eyes, the adults guarding her don’t need to know. Not yet anyway.

Lucy doesn’t look much better; there’s only so far you can go on caffeine pills and pure adrenaline, and Joel fully expects her to crash at any moment. She’s currently examining the wall of guns along the far side of the bunker, occasionally pausing to check the security cameras.

“We may as well stay here for the night.” Joel offers, because he knows Lucy wants to ask, but won’t, and he’d rather she was sharp for the journey ahead.

“You sure?” She’s not questioning him, more making certain; she knows he’s not a huge fan of staying in one place for too long. Even though the compound is protected, it still feels too exposed. Too risky.

“May as well. We can get some sleep, load up the truck and be out of here by dawn.” He’s already taking a mental inventory of everything they’ll be taking with them.

“Right.” Lucy turns her attention back to the wall of guns, running her fingers over a few, occasionally taking one down to test the weight of it, to see how fast it reloads and cocks.

Ellie, meanwhile, busies herself opening a cardboard box stamped: US ARMY MRE RATION.

“Is this food?” She turns a vacuum sealed bag over in her hands, squinting at it.

Lucy looks over her shoulder, a rifle in her hands.

“Oh, yeah. That’s old shit, but it’ll survive anything. Whatcha got there?”

“Chilli.” Ellie reads the print on the package, “and something called a snack cake? The fuck is a snack cake?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. Probably an old Twinkie.” Lucy puts the rifle back and selects another, weighing it in her hands, checking the ammunition capacity. Satisfied, she raids the ammunition cabinet nearby then sets about repacking her backpack.

“It’s safe to eat, if that’s what you mean.” Joel reaches past Ellie to snag his own freeze dried food, unsealing the package to inspect the contents.

It’s not the best meal they’ve ever eaten, but it’s decidedly better than some of the worst, and certainly enough that each of the trio made room in their backpacks for a few of the rations. Better to have ancient, somewhat tasteless food, than no food at all.

“So we’re sleeping down here?” Ellie surveys the bunker in mild amusement. They’re all aware there’s a spare room upstairs and a couch, but it feels too exposed, and too much like squatting.

“May as well. You take the cot, Ellie.” Lucy nods to the camping cot tucked away against the wall, under a rolled sleeping mat and a small stack of blankets.

“Not gonna complain.” The teen shrugs, helps move the sleeping mat and most of the blankets off the cot, then drops herself down onto the surface, pausing only to take off her new hoodie.

Joel keeps his eyes on the security cameras as Lucy unrolls the sleeping mat; it’s relatively large, they can probably both squash onto it and have enough room, and a blanket each.

“Tonight only.” He warns both woman and girl, “don’t get comfortable.”

Lucy sticks her tongue out at him. She wants to argue with him, make a smartass comment about it being impossible to get comfortable on a thin ass sleeping mat in a bunker, but she knows the road ahead is likely to be unpleasant, far more uncomfortable than the current situation.

Joel rolls his eyes, watches as she unlaces her boots and leaves them to the side of the sleeping mat; if they were anywhere else, he knows that she wouldn’t have taken her shoes off at all. But if they’re compromised in the night? Best thing they can do is wait it out in the bunker. He’s not going to begrudge her taking off her shoes, not when he plans on doing the same.

He glances over to the cot, where Ellie’s already out like a light. He has to hand it to the kid, her ability to sleep wherever the fuck they land is somewhat impressive.

Another glance, to Lucy this time, then he returns to the security feed.

“We can swap out watching the monitors, if you wanna be sure.” Lucy unfolds a thin, itchy blanket, then another. Sighs. Wool isn’t what it used to be.

“Honestly there ain’t much point, but. I’m not the type to be a sitting duck. Not that we’ve got much choice.” Joel frowns, surveys the makeshift double bed Lucy’s put together. “I can sleep in the chair.”

“At your age?” Lucy’s mouth turns up into a smirk, the way it always does when she’s teasing. He can hear it in her voice, even when she turns away from him so she can crawl under the blanket, nose wrinkled with distaste at the fabric.

“Rude.” Joel replies without rancor; honestly, the chair looks uncomfortable as hell, more so than the camping mat, itchy blankets or no.

“Don’t argue with me,” Lucy says in response, “there’s room. Besides, these blankets fucking suck. We’ll freeze down here without each other.”

Her tone is playful, makes it clear she’s just messing with him. Sighing, he takes off his own shoes, leaves them on his side of the ‘bed’, then sets his handgun down beside them, within reach. He notices she’s done the same thing, has her pistol within reach, just in case. Her new rifle isn’t far off, either. He wants to think he’s taught her well, but honestly, Lucy was a survivor before he met her.

Joel turns out the fluorescent overhead lights, leaving the bunker illuminated only by a camping lantern next to the ‘bed’ and the security feed monitors.

He strips off his coat, folding it into a makeshift pillow, then slides under the blankets, immediately feeling the slight itch of old fabric mixed with the chill of the night coming.

“These blankets do suck.” He comments as he turns onto his side, facing her. He can look over her shoulder or prop himself up to check the monitors every now and then. He doesn’t think they’ll be disturbed, not really, not down here. It’s probably the only secure night of sleep they’ll get until they’re back in the QZ, or something similar.

“Told you.” Lucy huddles under them nonetheless; he supposes it is somewhat cold down here, and it’ll only get colder during the night. That, and she gave the best blanket to the kid. Of course she did.

He looks over her shoulder to check the monitors one last time before he turns his attention back to her; she’s trying not to shiver, even in the long pants - jeans - and shirt she’s wearing.

“Fuck sake, c’mere before you wake the kid with your chattering teeth.” Again, there’s no heat in his words as he opens his arms to her. Anyone else, it might feel weird or uncomfortable, but Lucy is just…. Lucy.

She doesn’t even hesitate, even though she might have normally done so. She’s too damn cold to care, and fully aware it’ll be a long night if they don’t warm up soon.

When she’s right against him, Joel pulls the two blankets over the pair of them, adding an extra layer to her before wrapping his arms around her, rubbing his hands up her back to generate heat.

“How are you always a goddamn furnace?” It comes out muffled, on account of her face being buried in the crook of his shoulder, cheek resting on his collarbone.

“Luck of the draw.”

“Very funny.”

He can feel the curve of her smile against his neck, though, so he knows he hasn’t actually annoyed her with his sarcasm.

“Warming up?” He doesn’t want to push her away, not really. They’ve shared a bed - or a makeshift one - plenty of times, when the situation has called for it. There’s never been anything strange about it, not really, and if there’s an unspoken tension? Well, that’s not his problem. Or so he tells himself.

“Little bit.” Her lips graze his throat when she speaks, but she’s not so tense now; clearly she’s warming up, feeling more at ease than she was before.

“Good. Can’t have you come all this way just to lose you to frostbite.”

“I don’t think it’s cold en- oh.” She huffs, realising too late he was making another joke, albeit in that dry way of his.

A low chuckle escapes his throat, not laughing at her; at least, not in a mocking way, more just amused by her embarrassment and the little huff she made.

“Just tell me if you’re still cold.”

“A little,” she admits, “but I’ll take being a little cold as a fair trade for a single night of sleeping in relative comfort and safety.”

She said relative, so he doesn’t argue with her, just keeps running his hands up and down her back.

“We’ll find somewhere safe enough in Wyoming. After.” Joel says instead. He doesn’t add the unspoken rest: after they find his brother. After they find someone who can take Ellie in. Lucy understands; there are too many variables, too many things that could go wrong.

“Go back to being FEDRA slaves?” She suggests.

“If that’s what it takes to be safe, sure.”

He can’t see her roll her eyes in the dimmed light, not really, but he can almost hear her doing it.

“Safe.” She mutters, “as if that’s a reality.”

Joel hums agreement, adjusts his arm around her, tucks the blankets a little tighter around her shoulders.

They lay in silence for a few minutes, Joel watching the monitors, thinking she must have drifted off to sleep, when her soft voice breaks the near silence.

“Thank you.”

“For what? Keeping you warm?” He isn’t too sure what precisely she’s thanking him for.

“Keeping me around. Keeping me safe as best you can. I know I get on your last nerve, but I really do appreciate you.”

He can feel the heat of her breath on his skin as she speaks, hushed words into his good ear, not wanting to disturb Ellie.

“You don’t get on my last nerve.” He says finally, “and you don’t have to thank me. You watch my ass, I watch yours. It’s a good partnership.”

He can feel her smiling again.

“No longer a padawan, huh?”

It’s his turn to smile, a rarity for him.

“Those movies are older than both of us. How do you even know that phrase?”

“Keeper of my secrets, I am. Never know everything, will you.” Lucy responds, mimicking Yoda in a whisper.

Joel has to turn his face into her hair to muffle his own laugh, instead getting a good inhale of whatever shampoo she pilfered from the shower earlier. Something floral.

“Nerd.”

“I miss pop culture.” Lucy half shrugs, dislodging the blanket, then shivers and tucks herself further under his arm, pausing only to peek over at Ellie, who’s still a steadily breathing shape under her own blanket, probably a great deal warmer for not being practically on the concrete floor. Lucky kid.

“I miss good music and decent coffee.” Joel readjusts the blanket again, tucks the edges down around her shoulder to keep the chill out.

He misses about fifty other things, some things far more painful to talk about than others; he’s barely been able to talk about Sarah with her. He doesn’t know if he ever will. But he doesn’t want to ruin the good feeling between them by being a downer, even if he thinks she’ll understand, so he keeps it light.

“Gas station coffee was never decent.” Lucy counters, “but I get you.”

“Yeah? You were a Frappuccino girl, huh?”

“Latte.” She informs him, “with a flavour syrup.”

Joel snorts in spite of himself.

“And here I am giving you the shittiest black coffee in the history of shitty instant coffee.”

“That means we have access to it, so I’ll take it.” Her tone makes it plain she doesn’t mind, not really. Her preference might have once been for sweet coffees with lots of almond milk, but these days, she’ll take whatever caffeine she can find. Especially when it means he’s sharing his limited supply with her.

“You’re too kind.”

She’s laughing again, soft sounds muffled in his shoulder, but at least she’s no longer shivering.

“If you say so.” She says finally, hands flat against his chest, keeping herself as close as possible, trying to conserve heat. “I guess I should move, huh? I’m not about to freeze on you anymore, so.”

He doesn’t want her to move. Even the four or five inches they’d have between them if she did suddenly feels like too far.

“Only if you want to.” He says finally, “I don’t want you to just freeze again. I’m comfortable like this, if you are.”

Lucy shrugs against him.

“I’m not opposed to this.”

If there’s more she isn’t saying, that’s her business. Joel doesn’t pry, because quite frankly he’s not sure he wants to go down that path. Not because he finds her unappealing, but because letting someone close could have dire consequences.

So he just hums agreement, rests his chin on top of her head. Almost expects that to be the end of it, until -

“Not opposed to it, or okay with it?” He speaks before he can think it through, and he knows it. Wants to take it back almost right away, because this is precisely down the path he wanted to avoid. Apparently not. Again, he’s not blind to the tension between them, but he isn’t truly sure he wants to allow someone to get close to him. Not after so many losses.

“What a leading question.” Lucy tilts her head against his shoulder.

“That’s not an answer.” If he’s going to walk this path, he may as well walk it properly. Or maybe she’ll save them both the awkwardness and just go to sleep.

“Do I really need to answer it? Spell it out for you?” She laughs softly, “I’m comfortable here. I feel safe here, with you.”

“Nowhere’s safe, Lu. You said it yourself.” Joel feels like a dick the moment he says it, but he’s trying to keep it light, almost afraid to let this go any further, even if he wants it to.

“I know that. What I mean is this. Lying here like this. It feels nice.” She knows she’s doing a terrible job at explaining herself, but he’s caught her off guard.

“Yeah. I get you.” He admits, because he’s not so much of a jerk that he’ll let her confess that and not be honest in return.

“I know you do.” She adjusts herself, fingers playing idly with the fabric of his shirt. “Get me, I mean.”

It takes him a moment to formulate a response; he’s almost ashamed of how distracted her touch makes him, as though he hadn’t been running his hands up and down her back a short while ago. As though he hadn’t been distracting her just as much, even if he doesn’t know it.

“Be a shit team if I didn’t, huh?” His hand moves to briefly cover hers, planning on giving it a light squeeze of reassurance before letting go.

Lucy has other plans, flipping her hand over and interlocking her fingers with his, surprising both of them.

“What are you doing?” He asks, truly surprised by her touch.

“Tell me to stop, and I will.” There’s a quiet determination in her voice, something he’s heard only hints of before. Not like this.

“I’m not gonna tell you to stop.” Joel says finally, “Hell, I got you wrapped up against me. How’s it any different?”

He’s being deliberately vague, toying with her. He doesn’t mean to, but he’s curious how far she’ll push it. He’s almost glad she’s making the first steps.

“To keep warm.” She reminds him, “that’s why I said… tell me to stop if you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to stop, honestly. This is nice.”

He means that; it’s been far too damn long since he held anyone like this, let alone had someone hold his hand the way she’s holding him, her smaller thumb tracing over his, rubbing little circles. It’s soothing, and quite frankly probably the only tiny piece of serenity they’ll get for a while.

“I’m glad.” There’s a sheer honesty in her voice, even with it pitched so low, so as not to wake Ellie.

He sighs, weighing his options in his head, fighting a losing battle with himself if he’s honest. Maybe it’s strange to even be considering any sort of romantic entanglement when laying in the basement of someone else’s house, when that someone else is dead in the bedroom the floor above. But somehow, Joel thinks, Bill and Frank would understand. Here, in this house, where their story began and ultimately ended… why shouldn’t it be the place something else starts too?

“Hey, you okay in there?” Lucy tilts her head up to look at him, eyes searching his face, trying to figure out what he’s thinking.

“Yeah. Just thinking.”

“Escape route?” She’s only half joking, so used to him constantly being wired, attuned to their surroundings.

“Not quite.”

“Then what? Is everything alright?” Truly she sounds concerned, which in itself is touching. Maybe it once annoyed him that she gave a shit, but now? It’s grown on him.

“Everything’s fine. Honestly.”

She’s still looking at him like she doesn’t quite believe him, like she’s trying to work him out. Fuck it. Why shouldn’t this be the place something else begins too? Isn’t that what they’d have wanted? Isn’t that why Bill left him an entire goddamn arsenal? To protect those he cares about? So maybe that’s a foul mouthed teenager and a woman he used to help scavenge black market medicine with. Better than the alternative. Better than the aching emptiness of being alone.

Lucy’s still looking at him, lips slightly parted.

“Ah, what the hell.” Joel mutters, and tilts his head down so he can connect his mouth with hers.

It’s not the perfect moment to kiss her, not really. They’re barely above freezing cold in the basement of their dead friends’ house, with their antsy charge asleep twelve feet away, but it feels right nonetheless, and hell, it may be the only chance he gets.

Seize the fucking day, or whatever whoever said that shit said.

He’s almost surprised by how soft her mouth is; honestly, in a world without makeup, or very little of it, he knows her singular concession to vanity is chapstick, if she can find it. She doesn’t waste her time trying to find box dye or eyeliner or anything else that she once used daily, lets her hair be streaked with silver in places without shame or concern. She wears practical clothes to keep herself comfortable and protected, usually keeps her hair tied back for safety. And yet somehow, somehow, she has the softest goddamn mouth he’s ever kissed.

She half pulls away, just for a second, her eyes searching his once more. She must have found some sort of answer in his gaze, because she doesn’t hesitate to lean back in to initiate another kiss.

Lucy’s younger than him, it’s true, but not by so much that she’s inexperienced; that much is clear by their second kiss, by the way her teeth nip gently at his bottom lip, almost demanding better access to his mouth. He doesn’t remotely hesitate to let her, lips parting, letting their tongues entwine as he pulls her tighter against his chest, holding her there for a moment before he rolls them, carefully, propping himself up on one elbow so he’s not putting his entire weight on top of her.

She breaks the kiss once more, glances over to the other occupant of the room. Joel looks too. Still dead asleep.

“We’ll have to be quiet.” He breathes into her ear, dropping a kiss below her jaw. “Can you do that?”

A little smirk is her first answer.

“I’m sure I can.” She hums, undoes the top button of his new borrowed shirt so she can lean up and drop a kiss to his collarbone.

Once, she might have bitten, left a little mark, but since the outbreak, biting one another has sort of lost any amorous appeal. Thanks, cordyceps.

Still, the kiss there is intimate enough, considering. He doesn’t stop her, lets her hands wander down his chest, settling there for a moment before they slide under his shirt, fingertips tracing every old scar she can find, like she’s committing every inch of him to memory.

His hand - the one that isn’t occupied propping himself up, slides along her side, thumb rubbing circles on her hip. It’s the most he’s touched another person in months. Years, maybe. He can’t say he dislikes it; it’s unfamiliar, sure, to be touching another person in a caring and intimate way, but he’s certainly not opposed to it at all.

“Joel…”

He’s not entirely sure, but it almost sounds like a plea. One he’s more than happy to answer, letting his hand drift to the button of her jeans. He’s gotta admit, he’s glad he can get them undone with one hand, not wanting to appear as out of practise as he realistically is.

Her hands slide out of his shirt to help tug her jeans down, not fully off, but out of the way. Neither of them are stupid enough to undress fully, not in their surroundings. They’ll make do, and Lucy does, shaking one foot loose from her pants, keeping them looped around her other ankle. Their shirts can stay on, not wanting to waste time or expose themselves too fully.

As her hands move again, he leans down into another kiss; it’s his turn to nip at her lips this time, leaning right into her as she gets his jeans undone. It only takes her a moment, considering she has both her hands to work with.

Speaking of hands. He has one free, and he decides to make use of it, rubbing his fingers across her hips, now bare to him, just watching how she responds to each little touch. He doesn’t get much time to observe her, though; she seems far more interested in kissing him, which is fine, it’ll at least keep her relatively quiet as things progress. It’s a shame; honestly, he almost wishes they were back in his apartment in the QZ, or hers, somewhere where he could coax all sorts of interesting sounds out of her and not care about the volume. But things have changed, and they’re here now, and that necessitates they be as quick and quiet as possible.

It’s almost disappointing. He would have liked to take his time, but well. He’ll take the situation as it is. His fingers move inwards, across her thigh, slowly, teasing her, their lips still locked together, her tongue teasing at his bottom lip between kisses.

He can tease right back, letting his fingers slide between her thighs, pausing just before he reaches his target to break their kiss.

“Remember what I said about quiet.” He warns, a gentle reminder whispered into her ear. She hums her assent, her fingers carding through his silver streaked hair, as though she can’t get enough of just simply touching him.

He understands the feeling, truly, but he has other plans, beyond touching her hair. His fingers trail along her inner thigh, amused to find her already soaked and waiting for him. Amused, yes, but aroused, too; his thumb finds the little bundle of nerves at the apex of her core, rubs it slowly, watches her eyes widen, her teeth sink into her lip to keep herself from making a sound.

He finds himself smirking, just a little, rubbing slow little circles on her sensitive skin, fingers skimming across wetness, spreading it, coating his fingertips in it.

Her lips part in a silent gasp as he slowly slides two fingers inside her, giving her a warning look as he curls them, buried to the knuckle inside her soaked heat. He can feel himself aching against the fabric of his jeans; even unbuttoned, he feels constricted, a dull aching need throbbing in him.

“Been thinking about this for a while,” he admits, voice still low and sensual in her ear, “maybe not in this setting, but I’ll take it.”

He keeps slowly moving his fingers, pumping them in and out, agonisingly slow, wanting to watch her reaction, wanting her to beg him for more. He knows her well, knows her better than he’d like to admit, and he knows damn well she’ll crumble eventually.

It comes sooner than he expected; he can feel her tensing up, her back arched up, her chest pressing flush against his, her entire body trembling. And somehow, somehow, she manages to stay almost completely silent, burying her face in his chest to muffle the tiniest of whimpers that fall past her parted lips.

“That’s it, baby,” he murmurs, pulling his fingers out of her slowly, “just ride it out. You’re okay. I got you.”

Her whimpers fade as she recovers, lies back, gazes at him with half-shut, adoring eyes. Fuck, why has he never done this before? All this time…

He wipes his soaked fingers on his pants, pausing just a moment before he moves the offending fabric out the way, tugging them down slightly, freeing himself. He damn near sighs himself when her hand wraps around his length, stroking slowly, her thumb caressing the tip of him.

“I want you so bad,” she whispers, leaning up to kiss him softly, “you have no idea…”

He laughs, a quietly amused chuckle.

“I’m getting an idea, darling. Don’t worry. It’s nowhere near as much as I’ve wanted you.”

It feels wrong, in a way, how long he’s wanted her, since the first time they ventured out of the QZ together, since she proved herself a capable survivor, since she back talked him and brought a smile to his face.

Her impossibly soft mouth curves into a smile.

“Then take me,” she whispers against his lips, “I’m yours, Joel. All yours.”

As she speaks, her hand tightens slightly around him, guiding him between her legs, rubbing the head of his length against her dripping sex.

“Mine.” He repeats softly, before he sinks into her, slowly, inch by inch. He has the foresight to cover her mouth with his, to muffle the soft moan that falls from her lips.

Fuck, she feels so good. So warm and tight around him, her velvet walls tightening and pulsing as he buries himself to the hilt.

Her fingers ball into the flannel of his shirt as she returns his eager, desperate kiss, wrapping her freed leg around his waist loosely.

He breaks the kiss, takes a breath, before he slowly starts to move. Her head falls back against the sleeping mat, eyes half closed as her leg tightens around his waist, drawing him in deeper. In spite of himself, a low groan tears from his chest.

“Careful there, baby girl,” he murmurs, “careful.”

He’s warning himself as much as he is her, reminding himself to keep his head as best he can. It’s difficult, so difficult, when her fingers are curled in his shirt, when she’s so tight and wet around him, when her breathing is becoming more and more frantic as he starts to move again.

Lucy leans up to pull him against her, her lips brushing his throat.

“Joel…”

He understands what she’s asking, without her having to say it; he picks up the pace, lets his hips rock against hers a little harder, a little faster. He has to bury his face in her shoulder to muffle his own sounds; it’s been so long since he was intimate with someone, and she’s so desperate for him, one of her hands leaving his shirt to tangle in salt and pepper curls.

They’re both being pushed to the limit, trying to keep as silent as possible, not wanting to wake Ellie, trying to keep their noise as low as they possibly can, quieter than the low hum of the generator Bill kept down here, just in case, always switched on and wired to the security system.

“You feel so good,” Lucy whispers, lifts her leg slightly higher around his waist, wraps it tighter, keeping him buried inside her. Her voice shakes as she whispers it, as he keeps up the deep, steady thrusts, in and out of her.

“Mm, you have no idea, baby girl. No idea how good you feel. How are you so fucking wet?” He can’t help the low moan that he lets out into her ear as his hips steadily collide with hers, harder and faster, chasing both of their release.

She can’t answer, not a full word, only tiny whimpers as she clings to him, raking her fingers through his hair. She can’t get enough of touching him, of feeling him close to her, the scratch of his beard on the skin of her throat.

“So close…” she whispers, back arched up against him, “don’t stop…”

“Not a chance, baby girl. Not a chance.” He murmurs, picking up his pace once again. Chances are he’ll feel this in his lower back and his hips tomorrow, but he’s beyond caring. All that matters is her, and the pleasure building between them, and her soft, soft mouth, kissing at every inch of him she can reach.

His mouth finds hers, captures it in a deep kiss, letting his tongue sweep her mouth as she clings to him, feels her tighten around him, feels her entire body tremble as he brings her to a steady climax, feels her soak every inch of his length as he buries himself to the very hilt inside her. Her moans and whimpers of pure pleasure are muffled by their kiss, her hand tightening in his hair for the briefest moment before she goes limp, lets her hand fall from his hair, caressing his face gently before her hand falls.

“I know baby, I know. Let go for me,” he murmurs, presses a kiss to her forehead, “that’s it, darling, breathe through it…”

She whimpers again, links her fingers with his.

Regrettably, Joel realises he can’t hold back much longer, not with how tight she is, the fluttering of her around him. His mind is hazy with pleasure, becoming more and more clouded with each snap of his hips.

He presses deep one final time, rolls his hips into hers slowly, before he reluctantly pulls out of her warm heat, spilling his release onto her stomach with a low groan against her lips.

The temptation to finish inside her had been overwhelming, but he wasn’t about to risk any complications. Not in this world.

Joel rests his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. Lucy glances over to ensure they’re still as alone as they can be, before she exhales, sighs, looks down at their joined hands and smiles weakly.

“That’s it,” he sighs, “fuck…”

He’s most certainly going to feel this in the morning, but he’s in no rush to roll away from her; he moves so he’s no longer on top of her, tucks himself back into his jeans and gives her a moment to pull her own pants back on. Once she’s redressed, he pulls her right back into his arms, inhaling the scent of her hair, their mingled sweat.

“You alright there, old timer?” She whispers, pure tease and thinly veiled adoration.

Joel huffs.

“This old timer just made you come so hard you went limp. Smartass.” He kisses her forehead and she giggles softly.

“Yeah, but I’m your smartass.” Her fingers trace the lines of his face, committing every little wrinkle and detail to memory. Just in case.

“True enough,” he agrees, pulling her closer against his chest.

Joel isn’t one to half ass things; he’s a stoic bastard at times, sure, but he’s protective as hell when he cares, and hell, he cares about her. He wasn’t kidding when he said she was his, and they both know it.

“Joel?” There’s a hesitation in her voice as she says his name. It’s a harsh contrast to the soft, adoring reverence with which she spoke minutes before.

“Yeah?”

“Are you gonna pretend this never happened in the morning?” There’s a raw fear in the way she asks it, the way she doesn’t sugarcoat it or dress it up. He likes that about her. That she’s brutally honest.

“No.” He says finally, “there’s no going back. I’m not gonna shut you out like that. It’s… not easy for me. You know that. But … for you? I’ll try.”

“I know it’s not easy.” She agrees, fingertips tracing in his hair, her other hand splayed on his chest, “I just… that’s all I want. For you to try. I just want you.”

“I know. Don’t worry, baby girl. You’ve got me.” He presses a soft kiss to her lips before he kisses her forehead once more.

He’s a lot of things, but he’s not a liar. Not to her. Never to her.

She hums happy agreement, “You know you’ve got me. Til the very end.”

“I know.” He assures her, shifts the blankets tighter around them. “Try get some sleep, darling. I’ll be here when you wake up. Then we can hit the road.”

“Hmm,” she sighs, nuzzles her face into his shoulder. “You should get some sleep too.”

“I plan on it. Someone tired me out.” He chuckles, surprised at his own good mood, in spite of everything he’s lost recently.

“Your own fault.” Lucy replies, her voice heavy with sleepiness as she settles against him.

Try as he might to fight his own fatigue, he can feel it overwhelming him. He’s exhausted, warm and comfortable, and the weight of her in his arms is so goddamn inviting.

“Not a fault.” He mumbles, but she’s already asleep, unable to answer him.

———

Morning dawns, but Joel is awake long before he originally planned to be. He wants to take an inventory of supplies, pack up Bill’s truck, and hit the road, but first he wants to allow himself a moment.

It’s been so long since he simply lay in a bed with someone, let alone allowed himself to hold someone in such an intimate way.

Lucy’s still asleep, her head tucked on his shoulder, arm draped over him, legs tangled with his. They’ve shared a bed before, but only for necessity. Never have they allowed themselves to become intimate before, and now…

If he thought he was protective of her before, it’s nothing compared to the dull ache in his chest whenever he looks down at her now, taking in every detail of her sleeping face.

“I’m yours,” she had said, “all yours.”

There had been so much longing in her voice, going beyond lust and physical need. He doesn’t think he deserves it, and yet. And yet he isn’t going to refuse her. Not when he so desperately, deeply, needs her to be his.

He sighs. Presses a kiss to her forehead, untangles himself from her just as she stirs.

“Time to get going?” She asks, her voice thick and heavy with sleep.

“Yeah. Time to pack up and move on.” He almost wishes they could stay in this stupid bunker for a little longer, but that’s not their path. Wyoming calls. His brother waits.

Lucy doesn’t argue, just sits herself up, untangles her hair, braids it back and slips her boots on.

“I’ll pack up some supplies from down here.” She offers. He likes that about her; she asked him for reassurance before they slept, but she’s not about to ask for it every five minutes. They both know everything’s changed between them now, but simultaneously, nothing has. All they’ve really done is act on what was already there.

“Great idea. Some rations, some ammo. Whatever you think we need.” Joel shoves his own shoes on, surveys the monitors for a moment. All quiet.

“I’ll get Ellie ready, too.”

“I’ll fuel up the truck, pack a few things. Come on up when you’re ready.” Almost without thinking, he drops a kiss to her lips on his way past, climbs the ladder, pushes the bunker door open, and disappears into the morning light.

Lucy stares after him for a moment before she’s interrupted by a soft snicker. Turning, she finds Ellie sitting up and staring at her, grinning.

“What?”

“I fuckin’ knew you two were a thing.” Ellie shrugs, unravels herself from her blanket and tosses her jacket over her shoulders.

“Wh-?” Lucy doesn’t even try to deny it.

“I saw that. And I see the way you two look at each other. It’s gross. You’re both old.” Ellie makes a face as she starts to pack MRE rations into her backpack.

“I’m not that old!” Lucy protests, somewhat lamely.

“Not as old as Joel, that’s for sure.” Ellie smirks, then laughs when Lucy opens her mouth. “I’m just fucking with you. I don’t care. Maybe it’ll get him to stop being such a stone cold asshole.”

Lucy laughs in spite of herself, stocks her own backpack with another box of ammunition for her new rifle and her handgun, before shoving a few rations of her own on top.

“Not gonna argue there,” she agrees, “c‘mon. He’s fuelling up so we can leave. Let’s go.”

“Back to the road. Yay.” Ellie sticks her tongue out, takes one last look around the bunker, then heads for the ladder.

Lucy follows her, taking one last look at the rumpled sleeping mat on the floor, a small smile crossing her face.

She’s not sure where they’ll go from here, but it doesn’t matter. She has Joel, and he has her, and that’s all that matters right now.

[lesbiandanhowell]

Sam (begrudgingly) reacts to: Dan and Phil play Poppy Playtime CHAPTER 2!

I fucking hate horror games and I am have a high anxiety day so this is like awful timing BUT HERE GOES NOTHING.

- Not a fan of the runtime because I don't enjoy horror so the longer the worse for me personally so fuck this actually oops

- Babes I am literally shaking and almost crying 4 minutes in this will not be fun lmao (but also I know my anxiety won't go away without dan and phil content so might as well hope they will be funny and cute enough to make me calm down).

- I hate this I want to cry UPDATE: I literally started crying right after this, about 8 minutes into the game, but it got better afterwards.

- The touch when saying 'we have to be brave' was very personal to me. (Someone give me someone to watch this with and hold me please because I am scared)

- The buttplug jokes being the only thing to make me laugh, thank you Phil. Dan what do you MEAN "tails in" in reference to buttplugs, did you see the unhinged shit we said on tumblr, because oh god please no.

- "What are we going to do now?" "Cry" Phil gets me actually thank you I feel seen.

- The color game is actually calming my anxiety SO much it's hilarious, like it's just logic and following patterns and those things are so calming even when Dan is screaming.

- "For our lesbian audience that has mommy issues this is gonna be a weird episode" YOU DONT SAY DAN YOU DONT SAY

- new lore alert: Phil going to a wrestling party

- Phil lore: he was afraid of the KFC man as a kid

- PINOF MENTION AND CLIP AHAHA, they love doing these references since they uploaded the first react video.

- Dan hiding in his hoodie is adorable, like he just fully went "nope!" and hid haha.

- I think you can see Phil's hand shaking in the whack a mole, like the camera was SO shakey which was either his inability to use a mouse or he was shaking, place your bets.

- Dan playing the mini game after all, Phil is never beating the younger brother stereotype truly.

- When did they film all of these that their heating is still broken?! Makes me think they really did pre-film most of these to have a less stressful time now during december, which good job guys!

- Mommy's voice reminds me of someone else in a tv show but I can't figure out what? Anyone know?

- Their delighted faces at seeing jacksepticeye are adorable, like you could tell they were so happy truly and I love these little easter eggs!

- "Sean you down there?" HOWLING

- They edited so many clips and memes into this (which makes me think they edited it rather than an editor) haha

- Phil just, maybe unconsciously, moving impossibly closer to Dan is a big mood (only I am alone rip).

- Weirdly enough the mini games are the most calming part for me, like there is a clear focus and clear objective of what to do and it's like: here is a problem, solve it and I think that does wonders for me.

- Unsure if I am shaking from anxiety or being cold (also great I have more uni work to do after watching this)

- Yes please sanitize my boobs. What

- I agree Phil, we have gotten a lot of lore (about you)!

- Phil's panicked "geese!" gets me every time because it's so cute.

- "I feel kinda bad" aw ofc you do Phil and ofc you don't Dan, so very in character for both of them honestly.

- "Sometime in 2023, so not much longer" Phil, honey, there are like 20 days left what do you mean?!

This actually wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, after I had my little cry at the beginning. I was actually quite calm by the end and I think my anxiety actually is less, which I didn't think would happen. The magic of Dan and Phil, see you tomorrow!

[elum4x]

It's a Sunday night and I'm thinking about the van scene again because I was reading an s4 rewrite and that scene really stuck with me. It was from Will's pov but I'm thinking about Mike and how his thought process was actually fully revealed in the van scene and he basically said that he wants to break up with El.

Like, Mike clearly feels so seen when Will says "you're scared of losing her." Like YES that's what he was worried about, but it's not because he's insecure about not being cool enough for El. He's already been shown this season to be coming into himself - he dresses differently, he has older friends who support his hobbies, he doesn't care as much anymore about being seen as a freak. He already tried to relate to El by reminding her that they've both been bullied.

But part of growing up is that he has realized that there isn't any red string of fate tying him and El together. I think that he has realized that if he breaks up with El then they might not be friends anymore - because they've never really been just friends before! He doesn't have a solid foundation with El based on shared interests and experiences outside of UD trauma and dating, and at this point she lives in another state. And that's what scares him. If El doesn't need him AKA if they break up, will they stop being friends?

Personal story time: I stayed with my ex-girlfriend for way too long (years) despite some fundamental incompatibilites because she was my best friend while we were dating and especially later on, after I lost touch with some of my other friends after moving. I knew it wasn't working but I really valued our friendship and I was afraid that if we broke up she would be really upset and not be able to be friends with me anymore. It was easy to deny a lot of the negatives of our relationship because we'd been together for a long time, it was long distance, and you think like, 'well, even if this relationship makes me unhappy a lot of the time, this person makes me really happy some of the time, and I don't want to lose that.'

So like, I could just be projecting, but I also think Mike could be doing the same thing, even subconsciously. He doesn't love El that way, but he's afraid that if he tells her, that she won't want anything to do with him anymore.

I think that makes the van scene even a little more heartbreaking because as many people have pointed out, Mike's face falls when Will says "even El, especially El." Will basically just confirmed Mike's fear - El needs romantic love to feel connected to him. Otherwise, their relationship will fall apart. Mike also could have interpreted Will's speech about being different as saying that if he breaks up with El, it'll confirm her fears as well about being different, too different for him to want to date her. I would go as far to say that this could be part of why his monologue is so focused on praising El and telling her how awesome her powers are - he totally misinterpreted what Will was saying due to his mindset. The audience knows that isn't what El wanted/needed to hear, but Mike didn't really understand.

I don't think Mike knows he's gay yet, but I think he's struggling with sexuality at this point. He doesn't feel the way he should, the way he wants to, about El, and maybe he feels a little too much for Will (the triple-take, anyone?) but he hasn't put the puzzle pieces together yet imo.

Again, this has already been said, but Mike isn't shown putting much effort into repairing his relationship with El after the monologue scene. He kind of feels like he's put the ball back in her court. He's treading lightly, because he doesn't want to lose her as a friend, but he's not trying to win her back romantically because he's desperately in love and doesn't want to break up. If that was the case, I'm sure he would have tried to talk to her when she went to her room in the cleaning scene.

Mike just wants to be friends, but hey, he's 15, and that shit is hard to figure out when you're a grown adult. Most relationships don't survive the transition from romantic to platonic. I think El breaking up with him would be a huge weight off of his shoulders and the best thing for El's wellbeing as well, so that's what I'm hopeful for in the early days of s5!

[freebooter4ever]

Are the lines on your drawings stylistic choices or are they measurement/guiding lines? Either way, they are cool, but just wondered. I dont understand drawing at all, might as well be a magic spell to me. I was looking at the pencil (?) sketch of Malkin with the cheesecutter hat on.

i, uh, definitely did not google 'cheesecutter hat' until after i saved out these images. :/ sorry about that. if you'd like the other one broken down, i can do that too lol. my reading comprehension when im tired is kinda lazy i just saw 'cheese' and imediately thought 'omelette'. SO here's the 1) initial sketch, 2) 'clean' sketch, and 3) final lines for the omelette boy drawing instead:

also i have had a cumulative of about 9 ish hrs of sleep total for the past two days so keep that in mind for if this explanation makes no sense, its not my fault. :( anyway! the way i draw definitely has changed over the years but currently im really trying to focus on the line i "see" rather than the one that is actually "there". i've been applying this to my writing for years (story vs happening truth) and you know it never occurred to me that i could do it in my drawings too till like...a few years ago. in general these lines seem to form the planes of the subject. if you google 'stanford bunny' you can find an easy example of a 3D surface turned into triangles. I do this too - see things in relative triangle proportions, except i've been doing it long before i knew how computers worked. i cant begin to tell you how long d*sney and cartooning's obsession with round building blocks of anatomical structure fucked with my brain until i finally decided i could cast that teaching aside completely.

ANYWAY sorry off subject again. so we have these sketchy under lines, and usually as im trying to find the proportions and form of the subject these lines end up being where the light/shadow hits. here i saved out the 1) 'flat colors', 2) the 'light', and 3) the 'shadow' parts on their own (i lightened the background for the 'shadow' so its easier to see):

the light is like four or five 'overlay' layers of pale yellow/orange. you can see how each of these layers follow one of those sketchy lines i did initially. and the same with the shadow but instead its a dark red color set to 'multiply' for each layer. and when you combine everything together you get:

some bullshit :). anyway you know that anniversary edition of beauty and the beast that featured the version previewed to nyc audiences in 1990 with the glen ke*ne sketchy keyframe animation of the beast's transformation? i watched that - must have been sometime after i graduated college - and i felt robbed that THAT version was never presented as a final piece. the 'unclean' drawings had so much more life and movement and intensity to them. tldr i like the messy lines, i hate 'inking' with a passion (HATE. IT.), and when i finally allowed myself to stop giving a fuck drawing became way more interesting. but my art is shit and i will never be glen k*ane so i dont really feel like the best advocate for this "style". alas. there was this one artist on tumblr who i fucking loved whose sketches were SPECTACULAR but the asshole racists in the m*c*ha*nz*o fandom bullied her off tumblr and ive never been able to find her art anywhere else since. she was also very negative about her 'unclean' sketches and it made me so sad. there was also this other artist whose sketches were awe inspiring but all she drew was p*rn and well...we all know what happened on tumblr in december 2018.

also i 100% stole the lighting scheme from The Bear which is currently one of the most gorgeous shows on television right now in my opinion

im really really sorry if this makes no sense, if im feeling motivated maybe i'll try again when my brain is fully functioning but with the actual 'cheesecutter hat' doodle ^_^

[syceusfig]

Sex Education S4.

Hi friends, its been a while. Shit has been pouring down and I've been here with no umbrella, just hoping for it to end and it hasn't but you know what? Acceptance is a gift. So here I am, accepting things and writing a rant about the forth season of Sex Education because I might actually be going insane. If I feel like it, I might do a proper analysis of the show as a whole because it is absolutely fantastic. I highly recommend watching it if you haven't yet. That being said, spoilers for Sex Education season 4 (and potentially other seasons) ahead.

I'm honestly not entirely sure how I feel about this season. I think I prefer it to the third season but not to the first and second. To begin, I think it might be nice to cover why that might be.

So the first, probably most striking factor, is how crowded Sex Education got in the third season. There were (from what I found) 18 characters considered part of the main cast in the third season, which made it very difficult for the show to put any focus on specific characters and shortened the amount of time we got with the main three. Now, the forth season cut out quite a few characters and managed to do it somewhat naturally with Otis and Eric's shift from Moordale to Cavendish, as well as Jean finding out Jakob was not Joy's father. Most of the characters that were cut out had completed storylines (in my opinion) so I wasn't too bothered by it however I felt that Ola and Jakob's complete removal from the show was too sudden as there was no consolidation from Jean finding out Jakob wasn't Joy's father to him completely leaving. I also thought that Ola not being in Adam's life made no sense as I was really hoping they'd get more screentime this season after they got so little of it last season.

I want to note that I do know Patricia Allison (the actress who plays Ola) had said she would not be returning for the forth season and things like that do happen, however it is still very unfortunate and I wish Ola would've at least still have been mentioned by Adam, acknowledging her absence in his life because her complete erasure felt unnatural to me and didn't make much sense overall.

In spite of this, cutting some characters out was generally a good thing. It allowed the show to focus and develop more on characters, giving them more complete, well-developed storylines (or it should have, but we'll get to that) and removing the struggle for screentime I felt there was in Season 3.

One of the downfalls of this season, however, was the failure to fully take advantage of the newfound lack of crowing. There was a certain choppiness to the third season and all the storylines felt disjointed. Which can be okay, as characters do need to develop by themselves, but too much individuality can take away from the whole. The first two seasons of Sex Education had that wholeness, characters had storylines but they were connected in a way; there was a bigger picture that formed as each character developed their smaller, individual pictures. Unfortunately, the choppiness from the third season remained in the forth. Though less, there was a disjointedness. The characters were very strongly "grouped" this season and their storylines hugely revolved around those groups and those groups only. There was no bigger picture, there was no "ultimate" which left a sense of unfinished.

Speaking of unfinished, I'm going to move into individual things that worked and didn't work this season, starting with Jackson and Cal. Quite simply, there was no resolution. Their relationship went nowhere this season, it was just something that sort of lingered over the audience's head but never went anywhere. I found it increasingly frustrating and thought there were multiple moments that could've been worked to create a resolution between them, whatever that may have been. Like when Cal went missing, if Jackson had found them rather than Eric, something could have been done there, a talk, a moment, anything. I just didn't like how they were sort of glossed over. Ultimately, I felt their storyline was unfinished and, as a whole, discarded.

Before moving on I want to talk a little bit more about Cal. I thought they had a lot of potential when they were introduced in Season 3 them being non-binary was practically their only defining trait. I had hope that more would be done with them this season because it's great to have NB representation in shows but I don't feel more has been done. There were some pros, like us getting a bit of a view into Cal's home life, but aside from that it didn't feel like much had changed and the only moment Cal was at all crucial to the story was right at the end.

I also felt that Otis and Eric's "rift" didn't work. One of my favourite things about Sex Education has been Otis and Eric's relationship because they have an incredible bond despite their differences and are always there for each other when needed. The lack of this relationship this season was very much missed. While I understand Eric's inclination to befriend people he felt were more similar to him, I feel the show navigated this badly and it was sort of an afterthought. Otis and Eric's fight was furthermore incredibly redundant as it was similar to fights Otis and Eric previously had made up and moved on from, making it seem like a fight for the sake of a fight.

There was quite a bit of fighting for the sake of fighting this season. Which brings me to my next point, Maeve and Otis. I was firstly glad the show had them keep in contact while Maeve was in America so they didn't start in that sort of strange, vague place they did in the third season. However, their on and off this season was very unnecessary. With the death of Maeve's mum and her having just come back from America, their relationship would have already faced enough challenges and obstacles. Getting to watch them navigate that in a relationship would have worked a lot better than the same "will they, won't they" the show has been doing for three seasons already. It's gotten old. We ended up not getting much time with them as a couple which I was really hoping for.

Maeve and Otis' ending in and off itself was understandable but I am very upset regardless. I loved the bit with the note, I thought it wrapped everything up very well. I liked that she kept the shirt, I liked that she chose herself and her future, I like how he closed his eyes when she left so, to be fair, I liked quite a lot. But, as I've said, I wish we had gotten more time with them in the season because I think it would've made it more impactful.

Something that wasn't major but I quickly want to talk about was Eric's relationship with religion this season. While I liked that the show presented how difficult it can be being a queer person who is still religious and finds community in church or worship in general, I found Eric's religion journey confusing. The abstract aspects of it (like the signs, the woman who I suppose was God, etc.) were kind of like when Villanelle started seeing Jesus in "Killing Eve". I didn't think the abstract aspects really fit with the rest of the show so it all just felt out of place. However, I liked that it brought about a lovely family moment with Eric and his mum.

I've been talking mostly about what didn't work so I'm switching to something that has. Family moments were something this season absolutely nailed. The scene between Maeve and Jean was absolutely beautiful and so tender. I loved everything about it and I think the show did wonderfully, especially because Jean and Maeve properly meeting was something I have been waiting for since the start of the show. This and the simple, lovely moment were Cal and their mum were lying together.

Also worth mentioning Adam and his dad's slowly growing and healing relationship. Mr. Groff's development throughout the show has been done astonishingly well, I was genuinely rooting for him this season and I loved seeing him trying with Adam. I also thought Adam was great. I liked that he found something he loved, accepting school wasn't for him because it really isn't for everyone and it's very nice to see that acknowledged.

So, there were nice things about this season and I did enjoy it (I mean, I finished it the day after it came out) despite it definitely not being my favourite. Now, I have a multitude of different issues with the end probably because so much pressure and anticipation goes into an ending that when it doesn't reach the expectations we set for it, it can be very detrimental to our overall enjoyment. For Sex Education, I think there are a lot of little things that could have been changed to make the ending more satisfying, more final. But, if I keep going I will never, ever stop (and it is mainly minor things that could've been done) so I think I'll just end this post here on a semi-positive note.

Sex Education is a great show. Yes, it was better at the start and yes I think it could've been wrapped up earlier hopefully leaving us with a more satisfying ending. But it's still very much worth the watch, there's a lot to love, and I still recommend watching it regardless. I want to be clear in saying I don't think this season or the ending was horrible by any means I just expected and hoped for more. Anyway, if you have any thoughts do share them whether or not you agree with me; I'm always happy to discuss.

[ciaran]

ok ok ok i told myself i was gonna write this so im going to write it even htough its not going to make any sense and i am not actually doing anything and everything sucks. but we live in a shitsuck world so i am gonna write my dumb little thoughts down.

mo du spoilers ahead and discussions of triggering topics

anyway so. the thing abt the last book of mo du which is a v recognisable thing to happen and i Get It as an author like i truly do despite the longest thing ive ever written having been 50k of unhinged word vomit about feeling profoundly isolated from reality. i am the shit king of things that are too complicated and simple and that make no sense and plot is not my strong point as an author and i could not have done better. but i truly believed that priest could. anyway the thing that happened is that the last book was just not good lmao and it was not good for a few very particular reasons that were EASILY rectified by having a team of good alpha readers who are willing to slap you over the head and tell you to make a damn decision.

the thing is that before that mo du IS good and my idea for what should have happened in the last arc WAS SET UP BY THE NARRATIVE! i was not an idiot for thinking that that was what would happen! its just that she refused to go there for two critical reasons

she felt like she wouldnt have enough time to resolve this plot point

she didnt want to introduce a new major trauma before the end

she didnt trust her characters to get through it

she had set up a moral system in which once u commit murder u are irretrievable from The Abyss (as proven by that one dead cop's daughter idr her name but she killed a cop by accident)

that's more than 2 but i am a lit crit bitch not a numbers bitch. moving on.

she WOULD have had time to resolve this plot point if she had simplified her plot by a few threads. that cult shit was not necessary. the fact that the mysterious organization had someone within working to bring about its downfall was a great touch that didnt go far enough. there was a parallel between fan siyuan and fei du that was never fully explored and that was a waste of both their characters.

fei du needed to Go Through Something and he just did not. he needed to suffer a major moral injury in order for that arc to work - he needed to kill his father, or be mindbroken by being submerged in the abyss. the abyss needed to affect him. instead he is untouched which is awful. where are The Horrors of finding yourself at home among monsters! where is the Relief of not needing to mask, and wondering if this might just be better, if its not a little joyous to not care about morality and goodness. where is the Fear and the Self-Hate and the moral conflict between wanting to become your worst self and wanting to slip back into a comfortable orbit. where is the CRISIS OF FAITH!

but that's the thing, she didn't trust luo wenzhou to be able to handle fei du like that. she knows lwz can handle fd when he's being like "im gonna atticwife you shixiong" while clearly being a wet bedraggled catboy but she doesnt know if lwz could handle fd while hes laughing maniacally and trying to decide between killing his father, zhou chunliang, and fan siyuan. not that fd can handle a gun's recoil but that's not the relevant part. she didn't know if lwz could see fd at his worst and still love him but he CAN! he's a little crazy too let him find it kinda hot when fd struts around masterminding complicated criminal plots.

i truly think that showdown should have had lwz as a captive audience so fd experiences terrible feelings. OR fd should have actually HAD TO kill his father, no take-backs, no last minute outs. murder that vegetable. pull the fucking PLUG piglet. he should have to live with patricide even if he's never going to be charged with anything. lwz should have to live with loving a guy who was forced to have blood on his hands. let him have nightmares for the rest of his life about the closure he craved for so long.

but this goes back to priest's issue with MORALITY. the morality of the mo du universe is very clearly slanted into people being either GOOD or BAD and once you cross the line you can NEVER COME BACK. there is no complexity offered to the characters and there SHOULD HAVE BEEN! fan siyuan was a horrible person but what if he felt like he didnt have a choice? what if he was just like fei du and HIS lwz died? u cant tell me that fan siyuan wasnt in love w that one guy whose photo he was trying to see in his last moments. show me the beauty under the rot. what if fei du was pushed over the line? could he still be allowed to have some light? could lwz LET HIM? and i truly think lwz can, it's fd who cant let himself have that. but fd needed some confounding factors in his worldview.

call me a whump lover but i love when theres major trauma at the end of a book but it's still slanting to a happy ending. i like a hint of bitterness, a hint of "it will never be okay but at least we have each other." it's good.

anyway when mac and i were talking about this mac also suggested that fd walking into the abyss could have been very effective as a trust fall, a sign that he KNOWS that lwz will come for him and pull him out and not let him get lost in the evilsauce. and i agree w that being hot but i also have a personal preference for fd having a crisis of faith and lwz having a crisis of faith and both of them realizing in the end that they did choose each other and they still have each other

but priest chickened out of Challenging her Characters at the end and that just meant the whole thing rang soooo hollow. big grief. mz priest i will give u one dollar and my heart if u write an alt ending

get rid of that cult shit, get rid of the moral black and whiteness, let fei du sink into hell and kill his dad and be pulled out and dusted off and loved anyway. forgive some of the people who wandered into it without meaning to. let lang qiao and xiao haiyang kiss. The End

[real-life-senshi]

Happy new year, everyone! In trying to think about my 2023 goals for this blog, I had to look back on how I did in 2022, which had me realize 2022 had been a year of progress and brand-new content on this blog! This means I have many things I need to keep track of and work to continue on, and I had to go through my blog to do some record keeping. This led to me writing this 2022 highlight.

1. Continuation and expansion of PGSM Liveblogs!

In addition to completing the liveblog of Act 14 - Act 17, on Feb 26, 2022 I also woke up at 3am to liveblog PGSM's Director Suzumura Live Guest Talk with Komatsu Ayaka! What a blast that was! And I can totally die happy knowing I was able to actually interact with Ayaka (PGSM Minako) through the live chat!

Using the live chat as a catalyst, I fully dove into doing some fan-translation work as well. In addition to completing a translation on the aforementioned guest talk, I also started doing more detailed translations embedded in my analysis and general liveblogging.

Then, out of nowhere in September, Sawai Miyuu started doing a live broadcast of PGSM viewing party, a hilarious and fun time where she rewatches PGSM, and we audience get to see her live reaction and interact with her! (And she actually reads and speak some English too!)

2. More Fanart

I haven't done too much fanart, my long-time followers knows drawing takes much more time for me since I don't do it enough. Still, 2022 featured some of my best pieces so far!

My personal favourite is Reinako in onesies! The Nako Nako took me forever to figure out how to draw! Additionally, I had my first time drawing something a bit smutty. I also discovered transparent art on Tumblr, and it is my new favourite thing to work on! (Though challenging to figure out.)

I can say without a doubt my latest art that celebrates the anniversary of PGSM Final Act has been the best I've done so far, and I am still incredibly proud of it! I experimented with so many things making this piece - format, composition, layering (& the transparency), coloring, etc. It was also my first time drawing Makoto, Ami, Usagi, Princess Sailor Moon, Mercury, and Jupiter in such detail!

3. More Reinako

Of course, there can never be too much Reinako! In fact, my love for Reinako colours everything I do - even when liveblogging and making fanart. :D

2022 saw me making NINE Reinako gif set in a year, an all-new high! 6 of them are from the new series(?) I started called PGSM Reinako Things I want to Yell About, which basically is just me talking about all the things PGSM does that make me love Reinako and me analyzing the shit out of the smallest hint I can see, because I have zero self-control.

4. Fanfic Writing

2022 also got me back into writing for 4 months, where I've successfully rewritten 8 chapters of my old unfinished story - Echoes of Times. I hit a slump again in April and only wrote a paragraph here or there since... :( But the fact I've written more than I've ever done is a great sign that I can indeed get back into it!

Hopes for 2023

So it’s been proved that I’m not someone that can stick to a “new year resolution” at all, so instead, I’m gonna share what I HOPE to do and see where that takes me.

I will definitely continue liveblogging. This includes keeping tabs if Director Suzumura might invite any other PGSM cast member to his guest talk, and also joining Miyuu's viewing party where possible! I'd also like to see if I can get my PGSM rewatch liveblog to progress into Darkury Arc within the year! I'd be too ambitious to say finishing the arc, since that's over 10 episodes away, but I def want to get into episodes in the 20s.

Keep writing fanfiction! And actually start publishing the rewritten chapters onto AO3! (I will upload on FF.net as well). Year after year I say this, but I would LOVE to publish a new chapter...

I've not finished any fanvideos since 2020, even though fanvideo is actually the first form of fandom content I've done. Here's hoping I can get something done and posted this year!

I definitely have a bunch of WIP fanart and gifsets waiting to be finished. My hope is to finish and share make more Reinako fanart, and dabble more on the transparent art format!

Continue on the PGSM Reinako Things I want to Yell About gif sets. I've done 6 last year, let's see if I can get another 6 done this year? (That's on average 2 per month, doable, right?)

[littlewalken]

Nov 29

I started redoing the notes for Grease 2 and a good amount of pages in I realized that was not going to be the way to do them exactly and I'll have to kind of put them back the way they were. It's kind of at the let's figure out some topics to organize them by stage anyway.

It's all just busy work that will hopefully benefit future Little Walken.

Had the urge to draw for five seconds.

today's IRL update-

Well, now we've actually looked at a place that could work space wise, of course the smothering unit has found things wrong with it, and comes the decision to take a place that will be ready in a month or keep holding out for the other place which we will probably drive by today to see how far they are or aren't with building it.

I have stated that I would be fine living in either place so the decision isn't fully mine because we all know how eldest daughter shit goes. She has someone to call to make sure the utilities math and a couple of little things will fly but otherwise... Even I don't know what to do because if it's the one place we're there until I'm old enough for an old folks place, the other is an old folks place.

Once we apply for a place not only do we have to pay fees we might not get back it could mean we can't apply anywhere else, like if we go for the already made place and the construction site, with it's better in her eyes financial situation, comes available I'll never hear the end of it. Trust me it will be turned on me. Even if it's the construction site. She'll have a fresh audience.

Meanwhile we're okay staying here a little while longer and we're wanting to get back to a normal for us life at the same time.

And everyone we had in our real life who could give us advice was driven away by the Life Ruiner because how dare the special princess in the family be disciplined and so on.