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#we are all struggling
simphic · 11 months
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I expect a certain caucazoid group of people to literally be bigots but it's crazy when it be your own people or other ethnic groups....like loll??
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One of those nights
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She thinks. All she does is think. What a curse to have reason and word! And that word never goes away. It stays like permanent ink, like carvings on stone, like fossils on the Earth's soil. The maiden of the castle was allowed to think once and now she won't stop. What she once thought to be a blessing turned into a curse in few months.
"August and it rains… Only my room and the duke's guestroom shine in the darkness and clouds."
For a little while her thoughts allow her to be less serious, to fuss over the weather and her lord's guests. She stumbled upon them in the small dining hall; them eating peacefully-
"Were the nobles holding hands? Oh, how lucky are they to have love in their blue-blooded hearts!"
-her holding dirty dishes to wash. How easily does romance fade out at the stench of half-eaten food… Still, she was happy to have shared a goodnight with them, to have spoken little phrases in their odd languages.
"I wouldn't call me happy."
There it goes; the curse! At the briefest mention of happiness, it goes reminding her she has a half-written suicide letter she doesn't know if she'll finish or not. It is a letter that made her realize how truly unfitting in this world she is. How apologetic she is. How sad. How useless she feels. How her sister was right to point out all these flaws all these years. How she could just maybe give up. Besides, all her life she's tried to become better and somehow ended up being worse.
"When did it start? When did I forget it takes luck to make it in this life, not just hard work?"
She had always believed that if she worked hard she'd be rewarded, she'd get everything she ever wished for. They forgot to tell her she'll start feeling lost, she'll forget to talk to others, and she will be at odds with her family. They forgot to mention that the curse would make her doubt herself at every step, be too decisive one moment and scared or tired the next.
"Have I lost who I am? Am I turning to someone new? Why does it feel like I am just a worse version of myself?"
Her favorite song speaks of the beauty of existence, yet all she's been able to think of -damn that curse- is disappearing. Her sister is right, she is a coward.
"I don't want to cry again."
Crying in a castle is odd. The nobles either pretend they don't see your pain or discreetly ask you days later if you're alright now.
"No."
The maiden seeks comfort in everything and everyone that'll give it to her. A servant boy called her strong the other day.
"I was crying like a baby."
Still, he called her strong. She doubts she is anything good anymore. She tried to kill herself again and her mother is worried.
"How many more times will I almost do it? When will I finally just give up?"
It is one of those nights, yet she must let it pass and sleep. The lord's guests will need her tomorrow early in the morning.
So, this is very much inspired by my current mental state, but I am glad I managed to at least make something creative out of my depression.
The castle photos are mine and the location is Hapimag Chateau de Chabenet. I was listening to the following while writing:
youtube
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buttercuparry · 5 months
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Reblog the fundraisers you mfs!!!!! I don't know why you all skip those to reblog some pic of a banner saying "FREE PALESTINE" or of news from Columbia University! Literally these people from Gaza have made an account on Tumblr and is writing in english to communicate what they need and you all are coming onto my blog or on the tag and not reblogging their posts. We have people both Palestinian and non Palestinian vetting the fundraisers! I mean more the reblogs, more the chance of the fundraisers gaining momemtum, the more there would be a chance of a donation. Please donate if you can and reblog!!! and follow them if it is possible.
@/mohammedayesh has posted about getting leaflets, telling them to evacuate Rafah. They are very low on funds. Go follow them and reblog their posts and donate if possible.
We have @/haneenatya too whose mother is suffering from eye stroke and need to evacuate. Please I have been following them for some days and it doesn't seem their own posts are getting much attention.
Follow them! They are on tumblr. Reblog their posts and donate. The protests in universities are being done on account of them. They should be our focus.
(EDIT: on re-reading my post it seems as if I am dismissing all that the students of universities are doing. I am not. I just meant, since all of it is to help Palestinians, we must not ignore them when they ask for help).
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fairydrowning · 2 months
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– Noor Unnahar, Instagram account "noor_unnahar"
[TEXT ID: / [Lemons] / My father's mother loved lemons. Years after her passing, / we run out of everything, but never / lemons. / Nothing else shelters grief / better than memory. / It's my father way of saying, / even in your absence, you will be / cared by me. / END ID]
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pornosophical · 4 months
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Just to be clear, I'm angry at people who have the time and resources to help and choose not to while still performing concern. basically, this doesn't apply to anyone reading this
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tattoosingarishhues · 2 years
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framboises-supremacy · 10 months
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when life gets so hard that looking at your reflection makes you want to throw up....
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.... take a break
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inkskinned · 1 year
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love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
#writeblr#warm up#ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from:#15% literally don't even touch water#an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP#15+35 =50%#like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap#btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water''#which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes#ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild#i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me#but no they're just confidently wrong.....#182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6#that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week.#ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho#this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded#in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair#or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS.#men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies#i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health.#this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become.#like they don't try to hide it anymore.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months
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Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this comic only to find out I put WWX in the ugliest outfit.#Continuity came first. Plus let's be honest; he did *not* show up in anything fancy. Or in all black as seen in most fanart.#We are at the middle of WWX depression arc. His self-care was 100% because Jin Yanli would be sad if he didn't try to look nice.#Okay okay. Fine I've delayed talking about the kiss long enough.#It is absolutely a core LWJ scene over a WWX scene. Which is made even more fascinating because we don't get his POV.#But we get so many insights! His loss of control and his firmness all contrasted against how he trembles.#And all of that wrapped up in a wonderful self-loathing bow! You go Lan Zhan! You hated yourself so much for this!#WWX is a hilarious narrator for this because he is truly just...baffled by what's going on.#He would push the person away but he doesn't want to hurt their feelings or pride (putting other people first again are we?)#I do understand why this one is divisive for people though. I choose to look at it through a character/humourous lens.#I've seen people defend and admonish this scene as a particularly shitty thing LWJ did and let's be very clear here: It was.#That's why I like it. LWJ did a shitty thing and struggles with it. It's part of what makes him so robust as a character.#It's also fine if you enjoy this scene for it's eroticism. You're not a bad person for that. You are just A Person.#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?
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clouvu · 7 months
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Save me french yuri... Save me
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misstoodles-doodles · 1 month
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Safe & Sound 💙
I just really wanted someone to give Echo a blanket so why not let it be Rex
Closeups T-T:
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Bonus Doodle:
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- The best part about France. Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you!
- Oh, my... what a generous God. What could I have possibly done to deserve such gifts?
- Last evening between the stealthy silence of bats flying and the annoying buzz of summer mosquitos, I heard of your pleads. I created this life of yours you wish to end. I wish not for my creations to have premature death. So, tell me what it is you want in this land I found you in.  Is it the Eifel Tower or the Louvre that you want? How about the French country? The flower fields and castles scattered all over them, waiting for you to discover them. No, not that either... Oh, I know! The wine, of course. The fact that ordering wine is like ordering water here. I shall give you all the wine of this vast land.
- Sitting alone in a busy restaurant at noon with a cheese platter, thee conversations you barely understand all around you, blending into a cacophony of everyday life... Give me this, please. I don't want the wine.
-How can you choose something so mundane? I offered you the nectar of Europe!
- I don't need this nectar, my generous God. Wine is what people drink to forget they exist. And all the rest you offered -the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, the châteaux- are but the remains of beauty, the remains of those that lived and died. I don't need a reminder of death. I need a reason to live. And all these strangers and their loud converstations give me life.
- But...but you are alone amongst them. Isn't a solitude a reason to die?
- Perhaps. Or a reason to think, a reason to write, a reason to simply be without anyone imposing their will, thoughts, feelings, being upon you, not with their hate nor with their love.
- Do you not need love to live, my young creation?
- I do not know, my god. I only know that when I have it, it consumes me, it changes me, it brings chaos and pressure and vicious cycles. So, at the moment I need food in my belly and solitute amongst the crowd.
- Yet, is this enough for you to LIVE?
- It is enough for me to not die.
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So...yeah, my depressing thoughts and relationship with my family are becoming worse by the day, but still I don't want to go offline completely. I want to, at least, keep hanging on to my writting. At this point, it feels like one of the very few things left that connect me to the world.
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bacchuschucklefuck · 3 months
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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
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redvexillum · 3 months
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lucky-fy · 6 months
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For the Laicion nation (aka, me and three other people)
I had this illustration commissioned (a big thank you to @lunehowls) for my werewolf AU Laicion fic (still a WIP).
The general pitch is as follows :
AU in which Laios never got to meet his sister again, putting his life on a whole other path, a more desperate one. A military deserter with barely a coin to his name, Laios hitches a ride on a boat to one of the elven continents, where he learns about magical tattoos that binds one’s soul to a wolf’s, effectively making them artificial werewolves. Illegal magic be damned, this feels like the answer to… everything.
In the process, he learns about the existence of an illegal fighting ring in one of the elven cities, where beastmen gladiators gather. Freshly tattooed and without anywhere else to go to, Laios decides to head there, where he meets Lycion, an elf and artificial werewolf gladiator. If they first bond over a simple shared meal, by spending time together (sharing the same room in the barracks, maybe the same bed? gasp) they find that they have a lot in common, notably a shared distaste for the body they were born in, a dysphoria partially remedied by becoming a werewolf.
They bond :)
NB: I commissioned another piece, go take a look :D
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sonknuxadow · 11 months
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its kinda funny that the chaotix are like the only characters who mention having to pay rent or buy food or whatever and theyll take any job that pays because theyre desperate for money but none of the other characters are struggling in this department at all even though most of them dont seem to have jobs. its like the concept of needing money to live exists for no one in the sonic universe EXCEPT for vector espio and charmy
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