#we all want a media that’s exactly like the media we love

[yamumsyadadd]

consequences

part of the Marquita series. Talks of consent, sexual assault, Jenni’s trial.

It had been odd at home for a few weeks. Your mami and Irene were always talking in hushed voices, both with frowns on their faces. Sometimes random people in suits would be in the living room when you got home. 

Olga was busy with the baby, Mami with whatever secret she was dealing with and your mama? You weren’t exactly sure since she had gone radio silent on you. 

Alexia knew it was time to have a conversation with you. After Rio was born, she and Jenni had sat you down to have the sex talk. Answering all the questions you had, emphasising not to look up things on the internet again and letting you know that regardless of your sexuality, they loved you. 

The conversation they needed to had was around consent. None of your guardians thought you’d be having sex, or really doing anything inherently sexual, but with the trial coming up it was a conversation needed. 

You were simply going through the motions. Confused as to why your mama wasn’t talking to you, even why you Tio Rafa wasn’t replying. Your phone was now left at home or in your mamis car more often. You didn’t have social media, something both parents were extremely strict about. 

Sometimes you wanted to fight about with them, but then you remembered when Olga let you use her phone and you were scrolling through her instagram, the amount of hate messages, death threats and overall mean comments she received had shocked you. 

There were moments, at school with you friends, that you felt like you were missing out because they all had instagram and Snapchat, but you reminded yourself about the awful things said to Olga and you didn’t think you’d cope with that. 

The house was eerily quiet when you came home from school. There was no baby noises, or tv. Olga and Rio weren’t in the kitchen, office or in your Mami and Olga’s room. The lounge room was clean, untouched from the cleaner. A apart of you felt forgotten. They had gone out somewhere and forgotten you. 

In a major act of defiance, you found your phone and downloaded instagram. To you, this would get their attention, make them feel bad for forgetting you. The ramifications of it didn’t even float in your mind. 

It took at least half an hour to figure it out, following a few of your friends from school, as well as your Tia, Abuela and a few of the Barcelona Women’s team members but not your mami, mama or Olga. 

You were so wrapped up in discovering how to use the app, you didn’t hear the keys in the front door, or the sounds of both your mami and mama walking down the hallway. It was only when your mama plucked your phone from her hand, eyebrows creased, did you realise they were there. 

“Hey!-“

“Since when did you allow her to have an instagram Alexia?” You felt your body fold into itself. 

“Never. Marquita, you aren’t allowed instagram. You were told this!”

Both your mami and mama were standing in front of you, mami with her arms crossed and her usual frown, your mama with one hand on her hip, the other looking at your phone. 

“Why? Why did you break our trust and make an account. You know how people are, the cruel things-“

“I know! I know okay? I guess I felt left out. All my friends have it, you guys have it. Even Nala had an instagram!”

Your mama sat down in front of you, giving your phone to your mami, “this is a conversation that your mami and I need to have. Without you around.” 

“Why are you here?” It clicked in your brain, your mama was here, in February, she was supposed to be in Mexico, playing a game in a few days time. 

“We need to have an important, honest conversation with you.” Your mami sat down next to you, grabbing your hand. 

“Are you sending me back? I’ll delete the instagram! I’ll do whatever you want but please-“

“Stop, Amor we aren’t sending you back.” Your Mami looked towards your mama, giving her a slight nod. 

“Do you remember how Spain won the World Cup in Australia?” You nodded your head, of course you remembered, “there was a moment on stage that something happened. The head of the RFEF did something to me, something I didn’t like and didn’t ask for. Because of this, he stood down and there were charges filed against him and a few others. They were saying some really horrible things to me. About you, about my career and your mamis career.” You could tell she was getting emotional, maybe even a little embarrassed. 

“There are certain people in this world that think they can get away with things. Usually it’s men, but sometimes it women too. If you don’t want to do something, hug someone or kiss them or whatever, never let them pressure you. It’s important that if you’re not comfortable, you don’t do it. Even if it’s a feeling in your tummy that you don’t understand, listen to it. You call me, mami, Olga, alba, abuela, or anyone on the team. We will all be there.” 

“Okay.” 

“Do you understand what we are saying?” 

“Yeah. Don’t let anyone make me feel uncomfortable.” 

“The same applies to you. If someone tells you to stop, that they are uncomfortable, you stop. Straight away. If someone expresses their discomfort after the fact, you listen, you apologise, you don’t do it again.” 

“Okay I understand.” 

“The reason” your Mamas voice broke as she spoke again, “I’m here is because we are going to trial. Your mami, Irene, Tio Rafa, Codi, they are all going to talk at the trial, I’m going to talk at the trial. That’s part of the reason I’ve- we’ve been so hesitant on you having social media. These people, they have been really really cruel, so have the people online and neither of us want you exposed to that.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” You asked almost shyly. Both nodded at you, “when I was on Olga’s phone, I went through her instagram. I saw the messages she gets.” 

“Yes. It’s not pretty, your mami and I get them too. Alba probably does. All the girls on the team. When you’re a bit older and, um, sexual activity we will revisit this conversation. Do you have any questions about anything?”

You shook your head. At this current time, there were no questions to be asked. It was a lot of information to take in. The thought of kissing a boy or girl, was too much to think about. 

“We are just going to have a chat about your instagram and phone privileges. Do you have homework to get done?” 

It didn’t take long for the house to become loud again. Olga and Rio walked in right as you started your homework. Olga gave you a kiss on the head as you took Rio from her. Leaving the two of you in the lounge room as she went to join your Mami and mama in their room. 

Sometimes you were jealous of Rio. He was just a baby, a baby that had no expectations, no homework, no chores. His only job was to just survive. 

A short time later, your mama, Mami and Olga came out of their room. Your mami taking Rio from you and your mama wrapping her arms tightly around you. 

“We have all come to an agreement. You can keep instagram on a few conditions.” 

“Okay?” 

“1. You make that account private. No one is allowed to follow you expect your friends, family and the girls on the team. If you don’t want them to follow you, you don’t have to accept it, but you cannot accept any strangers. Understand?” 

A small smile crept on your face, “I understand.” 

“Okay, number 2. You have to give the email and password to us. We are allowed to check what you’re looking at, who you’re following and who is messaging you. I know it seems like it’s controlling but it’s for your own safety.”

“Yes! Yes okay!” 

“Wait, don’t get too excited. There’s one more thing: every night, at 8pm, your phone is to be in our bedroom. Just because you are getting instagram, doesn’t mean you’ll be allowed to be on it all night.” 

You nodded quickly, before launching yourself at your mama and then mami and Olga. They were giving you a taste of freedom, they trusted you and you wouldn’t let them down. 

Secretly, you would search your mami and mamas names. Reading the horrible things people said about them made you feel protective over them. They were the best people you knew, the strongest, most loving. It took a lot of self control and conversations with Mapi, but you learned to ignore it. 

[morgana-larkin]

Alright, here’s the arrival of part 3 of “Just Tired”. I’m so glad that there’s been so much interest in this series! I’m wanting to make this series as realistic as possible for someone going through it as I still struggle with the trauma for when I went through it, even though I escaped him at the end of 2021. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I was listening to Angel Eyes by ABBA as it seemed fitting lol. Would have posted this earlier but I was watching the chiefs get their asses handed to them. Go Birds! 🦅

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Just Tired -Part 3

Warnings: Manipulation relationship, small masturbation part, Melissa going through some confusion

Words: 3.75

You awake at 5am to your alarm going off and you shut it off before you get ready. You hop in the shower and in there you can’t help your mind drift to Melissa and how beautiful she looks, even when she was downright ignoring you.

“Stop it, mind! She’s married.” You remind yourself. But that doesn’t stop your hand from wandering down to your clit and start circling it.

You lean against the shower wall and close your eyes as you picture Melissa being there. You imagine how her lips would feel all over you, how she might make you come. Would she want to use her tongue or her fingers or even a strap? You honestly wouldn’t say no to any of those if she was asking. You then feel yourself right at the edge and you start circling faster and then you come. You quickly have your shower and then you get ready and leave at 6:30. You walk up to her house at 6:58 and you knock on her door. She opens the door a few seconds later and she takes your breath away.

“Hey Y/n, just gotta grab my things then we can go.” She says and you nod.

“Alright.” You say and then take a step back and watch as she gathers all her things. When you step back you notice her ‘Go Away!’ welcome mat and you snort. “Nice mat.” You tell her as she steps outside and she smiles.

“It’s to ward off unwanted visitors.” She says as she locks the door.

“Does it work?”

“Most of the time, yes.” She says and you both walk to her car. “Apparently it doesn’t work on family.” She adds and you smile.

“Good to know.” You tell her. “So you giving me rides, does this make us acquaintances?” You ask her and she looks at you before starting the car.

“No, this is me just helping someone in need, and I’m not going out of my way to help them.”

“So you have a heart then.” You say and she rolls her eyes at you before bringing the car onto the street. “So is the husband not up?” You ask her and she shakes her head.

“He doesn’t get up until another half hour. He doesn’t have to be at the fire station until 9.” She tells you.

“He’s a firefighter?” You ask her and she nods.

“Yep.” She says and you take your phone out and go on your social media. You look up Melissa on Facebook and then you click on the name where it says who she’s married to and see a picture of him.

“And what exactly do you see in this… Joe?” You ask her and she looks at you quickly before turning her attention back to the road.

“Did you just look at my account?” She asks.

“Obviously. But what exactly do you see in him? I mean there’s ones much better looking than him.” You tell her and she quirks an eyebrow at you. “I’m gay not blind.” You tell her and she snorts.

“We met in college and he was really nice to me. He kept talking to me, giving me gifts that he knew I’d like, listening to what I say, wanting to spend all his free time with me, even before he asked me out.” She tells you and two words come to your mind when she says this, love bombing. You don’t say anything as it’s not your place and it was probably like over 20 years ago and you’re sure things are different now.

“So why are you so closed off?” You ask her to change the subject.

“You ask a lot of questions, you know that?” She asks.

“I don't normally, only when something catches my interest.” You say and she quirks an eyebrow at you.

“And I caught your interest?” She asks and you nod.

“You seem like an interesting person, and you wanting to say nothing about your life only makes you more interesting. You’re a mystery.” You tell her.

“And I like to remain a mystery.” She tells you.

“You know I could probably just ask Barb questions about if I really want, I mean you two seem close.” You say.

“Barb and I have been best friends for over a decade and she knows I like my privacy. She won’t tell you a thing.” She says to you and you lean back in the seat and pout.

“Are we close enough for me to at least know your favourite colour?” You ask her.

“It’s pink.” She says and you give her a weird look. “What?”

“The badass of Abbott likes pink? I would have never guessed that.”

“What’s wrong with pink?”

“It’s seen as a colour for little girls, especially when Barbie came out.” You explain.

“Alright, what colour do you like?” She asks.

“F/C.”

“Ok, interesting.” She says as she pulls up into the parking lot of Abbott and then you both get out and walk into the building.

*In the break room*

“I’m telling you that I saw Melissa purposely go up and start talking to Y/n. And not only that but it seemed like there was some attraction there as well.” Janine tells Jacob.

“It doesn’t matter for Melissa if there’s attraction, she’s married to a nice ma… she’s married.” Barb tells them. “She has never cheated on him and she doesn’t intend to. And has never thought about leaving him either…even though she should.” Barb adds and she gets a weird look from Janine and Jacob.

Just then you and Melissa both enter the break room and everyone looks at you both.

“What are youse looking at?” Melissa asks them.

“This is the third day where you get here at the same time.” Jacob says as you go to sit down with him and Janine.

“We just end up getting here at the same time. Is that a crime?” You ask them.

“Ok what about yesterday? I saw Melissa and you talking and smiling.” Janine asks you.

“Janine, what exactly are you asking?” You ask her and cross your arms.

“Is there an attraction between you two?” She bluntly asks. “You have mentioned you’re into hot older gingers and Melissa fits that.” She adds.

“Ok, first of all, Melissa and I were talking about our job yesterday as she was nice enough to give me pointers. Second of all, yes Melissa is a hot older ginger but she’s married and we’re not even acquaintances as Melissa very clearly told me that she barely talks to newbies.” You tell everyone and they shut up after that.

“So what pointers did Melissa give you yesterday?” Janine asks after a couple minutes.

“She told me to not do my lesson plan so far in advance and expect to fall behind, don’t be too stressed that it’s my first year of teaching on my own and she generously took a look at my first week lesson plan and said it was good and the kids will enjoy it.” You tell them and you weren’t lying as Melissa did actually tell you all those things.

“Melissa, you gave her that advice?” Barb asks her and Melissa nods.

“I don’t like communicating with newbies but the kid looked like she was gonna have a panic attack, I wasn’t gonna sit by and do nothing.” Melissa tells her.

“Oh Janine and Jacob, would you help me hang a few things that require 2 people?” You ask them and they immediately nod.

“As long as it’s not on a ladder.” Janine says and you nod.

“You’re not climbing a ladder, it’s not high.” You tell her.

Melissa watches from her desk as you and Jacob hang some stuff up and Janine directs you both to make sure it’s straight. Melissa’s mind starts to wander. She doesn’t know why but you seem to have caught her interest a bit. Her telling you her husband doesn’t forgive her just honestly slipped out and she doesn’t why she said it. Of course her husband forgives her every time. And then she tries to remember when was the last time he said he’s sorry and she can’t remember.

“I’m telling you it’s straight.” She hears Janine says.

“It doesn’t look straight to me.” She hears you counter. She then gets up and leans against her doorframe with her arms crossed. She sees you and Janine a few feet away from her and you’re looking at your board.

“You two are loud.” She says and catches both of your attention.

“How about we ask Melissa?” You tell Janine.

“No, she’ll just side with you as you’re friends.” Janine counters.

“Ya, we’re not friends.” Melissa says and goes to stand beside Janine and looks at the board. “And it’s not straight.” She says and sees you sticking your tongue out at Janine. “It’s a little high on the left.” She adds and then goes back to her door. “Try to keep it down this time.” She says and then walks inside her classroom.

At lunchtime she gets there before anyone else does and takes a few seconds to decompress as she gets her salad out. Everyone else comes in about a minute later and Barb gets her lunch and sits down and immediately notices Melissa is looking stressed.

“Are you alright?” Barb asks her.

“Ya, just a headache.” Melissa says softly.

Barb knows that she’s lying. But she also knows Melissa enough to know that she’s not ready to say anything and she’ll tell her when she is ready.

“Want some ibuprofen?” You ask since you heard as you were at the coffee maker. “I always carry some as I can get some painful cramps when menstruating. And that’s probably too much information.” You immediately say and it gets Melissa to crack a smile.

“It’s not that type of headache, but thanks hon.” Melissa tells you and you nod.

“Want some coffee? New batch is ready.” You offer and she nods and gives you her coffee mug.

“Thanks kid.” She says as you hand her the mug back with coffee.

“Y/n, do you have any plans this weekend?” Janine asks you as you join her and Jacob at the table.

“Probably just watch the game, I hope the Eagles hand the cowboys their asses.” You say and you don’t notice Melissa smiling at that comment.

“What about you?” You ask her and she goes into some detailed plan about what her and Tariq are doing this weekend.

When lunch ends, you all get up to go but Melissa stops you and Janine.

“Just wanted to let you both know that around February is when I do this Peter Rabbit art project with the kids and each of your second graders can join as well.” She says to you both.

“Oh that sounds exciting. What do they usually make?” You ask her.

“A rabbit face from paper plates.” She says.

“Oh that sounds fun, definitely count my class in as it sounds exciting. Y/n is your class going to join?” Janine asks.

“Definitely count my class in as well, they’ll enjoy that.” You tell Melissa and she nods before she goes back to her classroom.

At the end of the day, you pack up your things and you head out the door and you run into Jacob and Janine and you have a conversation with them for a few minutes before they both head to their cars. You start to head to the bus stop when Melissa stops you.

“My car is the other way.” She tells you and you turn around to face her.

“I didn't know how long your offer was by driving me home.” You tell her.

“Until you can get gas in your car.” She says and you smile before following her to her car. You both don’t notice everyone watching you both as you get in Melissa’s car.

“Thanks again.” You tell her as you do up your seatbelt and she pulls out. “So how long have you done the Peter Rabbit project for?” You ask her.

“Since I started working here, almost 15 years ago.” She tells you. “By the way, do you really think I’m hot?” She asks you and you furrow your eyebrows. “You told Janine that in the break room this morning.” She clarifies.

“Well of course you are. You honestly don’t need all that makeup.” You tell her and you see her smiling and a hint of a blush on the cheek that you see.

Melissa gets home a few minutes after dropping you off and she immediately goes to the kitchen for a glass of wine. She takes a deep breath after she takes a few sips and puts her head in her hands. She keeps getting compliments and praises from you and she doesn’t know how to react. She then realises that it’s been awhile since she received any from Joe and a tear slips down her cheek but she quickly wipes it off.

“Don’t cry, I’m not sensitive.” She tells herself and takes a big sip of her wine.

She has 2 glasses of wine and ends up falling asleep on the couch. When Joe gets home, he leaves her be and goes to reheat leftovers and watches tv in the bedroom. Melissa gets home a couple hours later and immediately goes to eat. After she eats she hears the tv on upstairs and goes to see Joe.

“Finally awake?” Joe asks her and she nods her head.

“You could have woken me up.” She tells him.

“I wanted to watch tv by myself anyway without being asked for cuddles or any kisses.” He tells her.

“I’m sorry, I know sometimes I might be too needy and I’m trying not to be.” She tells him and she goes downstairs to watch tv by herself.

She falls asleep on the couch again and wakes up around 4am. She gets her phone out and sees that it’s dead so she charges it as she makes breakfast. She eats and then she puts some in a container for Joe when he gets up. She gets ready for work and then she goes outside a few minutes early and sees you pull up on your bike.

“I woke up late but I don’t remember biking being this tiring.” You tell her and she shakes her head at you.

“You can leave it in the backyard for now.” She tells you and you nod. You come back out a couple minutes later and you get in the car.

The car ride this time was pretty quiet as you tried to make conversation but wasn’t getting replies. She pulls up 10 minutes later and you both get out and walk inside. This time you actually don’t head to the break room, you turn into your hallway and head to your classroom instead. It takes Melissa about 30 seconds to notice as she was in her own world and wanted to question you but you were too far ahead.

“Did you and Y/n not arrive at the same time today?” Barb asks her.

“No, I saw her come in, she went to her classroom for whatever reason.” Melissa explains.

“Interesting thing yesterday, I saw her get in your car when we were all leaving for the day.” Barb says and everyone looks at Melissa.

“Oh, well that’s none of youse businesses.” Melissa says. Right after she says that, you walk in and you head straight for the coffee machine.

“Y/n, we all saw you go in Melissa’s car yesterday.” Janine immediately tells you and you shrug.

“Cool.” Is all you say and pour yourself a cup and head back to your classroom. Janine and Jacob sensed something must be wrong and follow you out.

“So Melissa, now that we’re alone, want to tell me what’s happening?” Barb asks Melissa.

“On Tuesday I saw Y/n on the side of the road in my neighbourhood and she said she ran out of gas. I’ve just been giving her rides as she lives like a minute away from me, that’s all.” Melissa explains.

“Well that’s nice of you.” Barb says and really looks at Melissa. “Is something wrong?”

“What do you think of Joe?” Melissa asks her and Barb tilts her head.

“What do you mean?”

“Well Y/n has actually given me compliments in the week she’s been here, more compliments than Joe has given me in the past year. So what does that say?” Melissa asks her.

“That Joe doesn’t give compliments.” Barb simply says. “Melissa, I’ve given my opinion on Joe many times over a decade ago and you always gave reasons why I was wrong. I stopped trying as you kept defending your marriage with him.”

“Well you never had a lot of nice opinions about him but you never knew him like I do.” Melissa states.

“You’re right, I don’t. And I hope he’s changed since then.” Barb says and goes back to her cup of coffee.

*Your classroom*

“So you went on a date 2 months ago with a girl, but stayed friends and she invited you to watch the game at a bar this weekend?” Janine says and you nod.

“I thought like everyone else that she’d just forget me and we’d never talk again.” You tell them.

“So you have a new friend, what’s the problem?” Jacob asks you.

“She’s a little crazy.” You tell them. “I’m just hoping that after the game, she never wants to speak to me again.” You add.

Melissa gets to her classroom and sees your door is closed but can see Jacob and Janine standing near your desk from the little window on the door.

The morning goes by quickly for Melissa, and before she knows it, it’s lunchtime and she heads to the break room and gets her lunch.

“So I was notified this morning by a parent of one of my students that I’m getting.” You say to Janine and Jacob.

“And what did they want?” Janine asks.

“They wanted to let me know that they tested their daughter over the summer and apparently this kid is dyslexic.” You tell them and that catches Melissa’s attention and she turns around to look at you.

“Do you know how to teach a dyslexic child?” Melissa asks you and you shake your head.

“No, but I could just google some ways to help her.” You tell her and she nods and goes on her phone.

You go to your classroom and an hour later Melissa walks in and closes your door behind her and walks up to your desk where you’re arranging some papers.

“Melissa, what can I-”

“Can you switch the dyslexic kid over to my class?” She asks you and you tilt your head.

“Why?” You ask her.

“I can help her better.” She states and you furrow your eyebrows.

“Look I know I’m new but I’m pretty sure I’m not an idiot.” You say and she sighs.

“It’s not about you being new, it’s the fact that you can’t relate to her.” She says and the gears in your head are turning until it dawns on you.

“You’re dyslexic?” You ask her and she nods.

“I haven’t had a student who’s dyslexic and I feel like I can help her the same way that I was.” She says and you smile.

“Of course, want to go to the principal to make the transfer right now?” You ask her and she looks taken back.

“Wait, you’re not going to say no?” She asks and you shrug.

“Since you’re dyslexic then you might be the best teacher to help her.” You tell her and you go to your door. “Come on, let’s go see Principal Coleman.” You say and she follows you to Ava’s office.

“What do you two want?” Ava asks you.

“We want to transfer a student from my class to Melissa’s class.” You tell her and she rolls her eyes before she gets to one of the women in the office and you follow her.

“Can you do a classroom transfer?” She asks her and the woman nods. “She’ll help you with that.” Ava tells you both and you nod.

“Thank you.” You say and you and Melissa get the transfer done. “I’ll also send you the email that the parents sent me. They said a couple ways that they’ve noticed have helped her.” You tell Melissa on the way back and she nods.

“Ok, thank you.” She tells you and you nod.

“I’ll also notify the parents and tell them about the transfer.” You tell her and she nods. “Do you mind if I tell them that you’re dyslexic as well?” You ask her.

“No, that’s alright. It’ll probably make them happier that their daughter’s teacher has the same thing.” She says.

“Alright, I’ll forward you the email right away.” You tell her and go inside your classroom.

Melissa receives the email a few minutes later and sees the ways to best help her and writes it down.

She goes through the rest of what she needs to get done and finishes about an hour before the day ends. She stays on her phone for the rest of the day and waits a few minutes for you in the parking lot.

“You waited for me?” You ask her as she’s leaning against her car.

“Well I offered you rides, plus your bike is at my place.” She says. “I’m gonna drive to my place and you can bike home.” She tells you and you nod.

“Sounds good.” You say.

Melissa drives you both to her place and you go to get your bike right away.

“Hey Melissa.” You say as you come out with your bike and she looks at you. “I can probably actually just bike to and from school.”

“You ran out of breath biking for like 5 minutes. How are you going to survive for another 30 minutes?” She asks you and you shrug. “Mm, I’ll see you Monday at 7.” She tells you and then goes inside. You put your helmet on, get on your bike and start biking back home. Melissa watches from the window as you leave and she sighs. “What the fuck am I doing?” She says out loud and goes to get some wine and chocolate.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

@lilfartbox1

@ricejucie

@unicorniusfallapatorius

@a-queen-and-her-throne

@sleep-deprived-athlete

@og-kxsh-420

@sasheemo

@midnight-lestrange

@dashbag-art

@morgananyx

@schmentisgf

@cblanchetts

@that-october-night

@schemmentigfs

@italianaidiota

@ambessas-doll

@ankhsta

@olderwomenenthusiast

@ackleybloodybridge

Let me know if you want to be added!

[gilbirda]

How to Write Women, a quick guide by me

Hello! I was recently inspired to write a series of educational posts so I thought maybe it would be useful for someone.

I want to preface this that there is no criticism intended. I understand that female characters in general have been neglected in media, and I don't blame fandom for not understanding how to write a woman if there hasn't been a good reference in their lives.

My objective is that you, the reader, finish this post with a basic structure and few questions to ask yourself when writing a female character; and with the terms and curiosity to research more if you'd like to expand.

I'm no professional writer, but I've been writing for more than 20 years at this point, and I specialize in writing female protagonists and writing organic romantic storylines.

Here we go.

I want to write a woman, where do I start?

Writing women, at the end of the day, is no different than writing a man. Really, that's the trick.

Disappointed I'm not giving some kind of hot takes about this?

Good.

Because it should be that simple, but to get to that point we should unravel some baseline thought process that can and will get in the way even if you try to write a good female character.

A few questions to ask yourself are:

Why am I writing this character?

Does she have agency in her own story?

Does she have her own goals and aspirations?

Let's break them down:

Why am I writing this character?

What do I like about her? Is she annoying? Is she a hero? A villain? An antagonist? What thing do I like about her canon characteristics (for fanfic writers)? What would I change?

As mentioned at the beginning, female characters usually are not very well written. They are usually fridged or used only as a reminder that MC (usually a man) has emotions and vulnerabilities.

Take a moment to think about it. Think about the feelings her character gives you, and what are the things you do know about her. Think about wasted potential, or unanswered questions about her actions and plot lines that left you wanting more.

If you find her annoying, wonder why — usually, a female character being "annoying" or "not interesting" is tied to her not being developed enough, and pushed into a one-dimensional role. Pay attention at how many speaking lines she has, that usually gives you a clue of how much her character is developed.

Once you have decided who you want to write, this is where it gets interesting.

What kind of story do you want to tell? What role does she play in it?

When making the structure of the story and developing the plot, wonder about how exactly the female character(s) add to the table. Again, female characters can fulfill any role in a story, but watch out!

Bitchy mean girl lesbian

Motherly mommy mom/sister/friend that takes care of everyone

The "healer" of the team

These 3 roles have been used as boxes to fit female characters for ages. Be careful if you think you are pushing her into one of these.

But how can you avoid the tropes?

Does she have agency in her own story?

Or: if you remove her from the story, nothing changes?

Go into your mind palace, and remove the interactions and scenes the female character is in. Does the story still work? Could her lines be easily delivered by someone else?

If the answer is yes, then she doesn't have any agency.

It doesn't matter if she is a main character or a supporting character — she should have a say on the events or some kind of influence in the development of the plot.

Maybe she has a skill that is needed multiple times during the story, or maybe she has past experiences that are a mystery and unraveling her secrets reveals a plot twist, or maybe turns out she was the traitor all along. Make her MATTER.

Does she have her own goals and aspirations?

Or: Is she existing for someone else's sake?

This one is useful for the "mommy" character or the "healer" character.

Go into your mind palace again and think if you remove the female character's loved ones from the equation, does she have something to do?

If the answer is no, then she doesn't exist for herself.

She could still love and take care of others, but she has to exist for something else than that. Make her dream and yearn, and make mistakes, and sacrifice thing for selfish reasons.

Romance is usually a goal given for female characters (and that's a whole other topic I hope to write another post about), and it's a good one! Just be careful with falling for the trap of swapping the people (usually men) she exists for.

Give her hidden agendas, convoluted selfish secret reasons, make her want to destroy the world! Make her want to pursue the truth, chase someone for revenge, be a thrill seeker. Make her HUMAN.

In Conclusion

A quick trick I use when I write female characters is: If I swap her gender, nothing changes?

Of course there's nuance, but that keeps me grounded when even the questions I went over in this post are not enough for me.

Again, writing female characters should not be that different from writing men. If it feels different, ask yourself why and try to understand where the thought comes from.

NOTE: If the point of the story is to discuss the problem of codependency, or portray a toxic relationship, by all means skip checking about agency or her having goals. Rules are there to break them, but first you have to understand them.

I hope this helps someone and I will add and edit this post as needed, maybe to add useful links.

Happy writing!

[starkwlkr]

stutter | robert keating

an: as promised, here’s some inhaler fics because I’m seeing them this year :)

neeson!reader

INSTAGRAM

liked by bobbyskeetz, gallagher_anais and others

yourusername ny, i am back and i have missed you. here’s some pics from the past few days and an oldie of my lovely parents that i found recently ❤️

gallagher_anais come back to me

yourusername i’m counting down the days until i see your beautiful face again

bobbyskeetz is that the i will find you and i will kill you guy in the last pic?

yourusername i think that’s the guy that made you nervous and stutter when you met him

bobbyskeetz oh

load more comments

GRAHAM NORTON SHOW

“I’m aware you don’t have social media, but your daughters love life went viral because of you.” Graham told Liam Neeson. The crowd laughed at how Graham phrased it. “Can you tell the people who don’t have a clue what I’m talking about?”

Liam chuckled and nodded. He liked telling the story a little too much. “So my daughter tells me she’s seeing this boy and like any parent, I tell her I’d like to meet him and get to know him but she tells me ‘da, please don’t intimidate him he’s really nervous about meeting you.’ and that’s exactly what i did.”

The crowd along with Graham started laughing. “Anyways, we have lunch together and the entire time the boy is stuttering and I could tell he wanted the lunch to be over. Towards the end, my daughter gets up to leave and take a call so it’s just Robert and me. I obviously take the opportunity to make sure he’s the right person for my girl.” Liam explained.

“You didn’t threaten the boy, did you?” Helen Mirren, who was the other guest, asked.

“Well . . . I wanted to make sure he understood.”

“Liam!” Helen punched his arm.

“No, I didn’t. I could tell he was the right one for my girl. He’s part of the family now and when I can, we all go to see his band perform. They’re great lads, very talented.” Liam smiled.

“So no more threatening?”

Liam smiled innocently. “I mean you never know.”

[milkoomi]

be your own valentine. ᥫ᭡

with valentine’s day just around the corner, it’s important to show yourself love even when this holiday may be your least favorite. self love is the most important kind of love! at the end of the day, we only have ourselves and it’s important to show yourself unconditional and genuine love.

let’s begin …

୨ৎ — self love is vital

let’s start this discussion on why loving yourself is important!

1. it helps your mental health

mental health is greatly impacted by how we feel about ourselves. if we don’t love ourselves, our mental health declines, but when we do love ourselves it feels like we’re healing different parts of ourselves!

this is where self care comes in. taking care of yourself is one of the best ways to show yourself love!

skin care + basic hygiene

journaling

meditate/breathing exercises

partaking in hobbies that make you happy

unplugging from social media

2. it shows you respect yourself

self respect and self love go hand in hand. when you respect yourself, you love yourself! setting boundaries and upholding to your own personal beliefs is a wonderful way of loving yourself. taking the time and energy to respect your needs and yourself as a person shows how much you love yourself!

THE ART OF SELF RESPECT

3. loving yourself makes it easier to love others

rupaul’s most famous quote is, “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” and i stand by that!

once you learn to love yourself, you learn to love others in an entirely new way! you figure out what exactly it is you need for yourself and what you should expect when it comes to loving someone else; setting those standards for your future relationships!

୨ৎ — take yourself on dates

solo dates are a wonderful thing to do for yourself! especially with valentine’s day coming up, you should treat yourself to something special!

solo date ideas…

watch a movie at the movie theatre

bookstore date

take yourself to your favorite café with a nice book

treat yourself to brunch or a nice dinner

take yourself on a shopping spree

treat yourself to get your hair/nails done

go to a museum

have an at-home spa day

bake yourself some treats while having a movie marathon

୨ৎ — write yourself a love letter

since valentine’s day is this friday, you have 5 days to write yourself love letters! write one for each day and by the time valentine’s day comes up, read them all and remind yourself how much you love yourself!

you can write yourself a poem or write a letter about your favorite qualities of yourself! i know a lot of us have dreamed about receiving a love letter, so let your fantasies become a reality by writing yourself that long-awaited letter!

୨ৎ — create a gift basket for yourself

receiving a valentine is one of the biggest things a lot of people look forward to on valentine’s day! so take this time to create a little gift basket for yourself!

treat yourself to all your favorite goodies or maybe some things that you need or really want for yourself!

a new journal

skincare products

your favorite candies/sweet treats

include a love letter or a sweet little card

a cozy blanket or socks

new little trinkets

final notes —

allow self love to flow into your field of energy this valentine’s day! this holiday isn’t just about spreading love to others, it’s also about showing yourself love too! remember: you deserve love just as much, if not more, than everyone else!

with lots of love, faustina 🌷

[lillaydee]

The Unlucky One Part 7

Joel Miller (No Outbreak AU) / F Reader

When it comes to love, Lady Luck seems to have lost your address. After being left at the altar without so much of an explanation, you decided love is no longer something you are interested in. Not even meeting an unlucky-in-love-himself Mr. Grump could change your mind.

Right?

Let me know if you want to be tagged, or if you want to be removed from the tag list.

WARNINGS: Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Grumpy Joel (The Last of Us), Jealousy, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Idiots in Love, unlucky in love, Child Abandonment, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us)

@peelieblue, @vickie5446, @harriedandharassed, @lovefreylove @martuxduckling @kikookii @liciafonseca

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 6

---

Joel found himself contemplating saying yes. Before you, Jen was the only woman in his life for about 10 years or so. He stuck with her even when she left him. Wore the stupid wedding ring as if it meant something – it sure didn’t to her. She was openly galivanting around, showing off men after men on social media sans wedding ring since the day after her parents’ funeral. He was the one who was stupid enough to still wear his, blindly hopeful that this ‘phase’ would be over.

When Tommy’s then girlfriend brought up introducing him to Lucy, Tommy got way too excited. She had shown Joel a picture of Lucy, but he said no. Tommy coaxed him into meeting her for one drink, and still, he said no. Tommy was so insistent, so persuasive to the point that he almost gave in, but somehow he managed to get out of it. He wasn’t ready.

Heck, he wasn’t ready now. Well… that’s not quite true. He knew he was ready to take it slow with someone – just not her.

But the woman he was pining for was taken.

Still, there was an unease in his heart. He couldn’t do this to Lucy. She seemed like a sweet woman. Younger than him, that’s for sure, but she was clearly very hopeful that he would say yes. She knew he had a kid, so that was one thing he didn’t have to deal with. Telling someone new he came with baggage wasn’t exactly something he was looking forward to do. He was writing a script in head on how to tell you about Sarah should you call him, praying hard that you wouldn’t find that to be a dealbreaker. So with Lucy, that conversation needn’t happen. And, she was a kindergarten teacher, so she must be great with children.

But Joel wasn’t a player. He couldn’t lead this seemingly sweet woman on like this, knowing that if he did agree to sit down for a drink with her, there was a possibility that it might lead to another drink, and whatever came after that. He couldn’t do that. Not when he knew for sure that he would only be doing that to distract himself from the fact that the woman who was haunting his dreams was living right next door.

He had never been the kind of man who would use a woman that way. And he wasn’t going to start.

Lucy was still looking at him, hopeful that he would say yes.

“Actually,” Tommy said, surprising him, “We should be going. It’s nearing Sarah’s bedtime.”

“Oh, come on,” she persisted, “It’s not even 7 yet.”

“Yeah, but it’s bath day, and we promised her a new book to read tonight so…” Tommy insisted, placing his glass on the counter, beginning to push Joel out. Joel was shocked at his brother’s sudden change of heart. He genuinely thought this was Tommy’s dream come true. Not two years ago he was fending off this younger man’s pleas for him to go out with her, and now he was giving excuses for him?

“Yeah, we really should be going,” Joel said, downing the rest of his beer and placing the bottle on the counter. He could see the disappointment on her face, but he tried not to let it get to him. This was, after all, for her own good.

“Well, okay, but could I at least get your number? We could text? Maybe talk? Set up another time?” she tried.

Joel put both his hands in his pockets, taking a deep breath. He shook his head a little, “Sorry, I just don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said, still not wanting to start anything that might lead to her getting hurt.

He could see the defeat in her face, but she smiled, shrugged, and said something about giving it a shot before finally turning away.

“What was that?” Joel asked Tommy as they buckled up in the truck. “Less than two years ago you were begging me to go out with her, and you couldn’t get me out of there fast enough?”

Tommy sighed. “I don’t know… something was… anyway… I thought you were going to talk to Aria first? Lucy seemed too excited to run into you, that drink would’ve led to something else. What if you were wrong about Aria? You can’t just dump Lucy if you decide to get with hot new neighbour.”

Okay, who the fuck was this guy? What the heck happened to the guy who spent the entirety of their flight to Bali trying to convince him he needed to sow his wild oats now that he was divorced? The one who tried to get him sowing while he was still married, even?

That night, as he was lying in his bed, a sleeping Sarah wrapped up around his right arm, her new book still in his left one, a thought suddenly came to his head. Did Lucy introduce herself as Sarah’s teacher? He met Sarah’s teacher. He knew Sarah’s teacher. Mrs Adler. The lady who lived down the street from him. The one who picked up his daughter and dropped her off daily. He was too busy trying to place Lucy in his mind that he didn’t pay much attention to what she was saying. Maybe he heard her wrong? Maybe she said that she was a teacher at Sarah’s school?

Whatever she might have said was lost from his thought when his tired body decided it needed sleep now, rather than continue mulling about this little factoid, or carry a sound asleep Sarah to her own bed.

**********

“Morning neighbour,” a chirpy Tess called out to you as you exited Maria’s car, a tray of coffees and a paper bag full of breakfast in your hands. She had just arrived home herself, it looked like, looking tired from working through the night.

“Morning!” you replied, shocked at how genuinely friendly you were sounding. “Wanna come over for breakfast? I bought plenty!”

“That’s so nice of you, but I’ve gotta crash. I’m shocked I could still stand here talking to you,” she said, looking genuinely knackered.

“Rough night?”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

The door to her house opened, and Tommy walked out, a cup of coffee in his hand.

The driver’s door to Maria’s car slammed shut, and she and Tommy just stared at each other for a few seconds. Tommy walked over, a happy smile on his face.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Small world.”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

Tess was smiling at you, going inside. You quickly took the other paper bag of food from her, unlocked your front door and went in, depositing the bags and coffee on your kitchen counter before going to your front window to snoop. What you saw made you smile.

You best friend, the one who went through her adulthood convinced that she didn’t want a relationship with a man, was obviously smitten with this guy she met in Bali. And he was here. At that moment, you knew. You just knew. She liked him. And as much as you didn’t know this Tommy from Adam, you could tell, he liked her too. That smile Tess gave you told you she knew that as well. They seemed to be exchanging their shock (and maybe happiness?) at the fact that they had been in the same town all these years, and despite their attempts to withhold information from one another in Bali, they managed to meet again.

You watched as the awkwardness between the two turned to familiarity, as their body languages relaxed. If you had to guess, they were catching up. Their shy smiles turned to full on laughter and easy chit chats.

And then their conversation seemed to take a serious turn, frowny looks were exchanged, more conversations, before looks of disbelief finally settled. Tommy turned and seemed to call someone. Tess came over, still in her uniform, a gigantic coffee cup in her hands. You watched as the same serious, frowny look landed on Tess’s previously smiley face, turning to disbelief as well.

And now they were all laughing.

What the fuck was going on?

Oh, you had a bad feeling about this. You didn’t like it. You didn’t like it one bit.

They continued talking for a few more minutes before Kyle and Ethan arrived, and the two joined in on the conversation after Tommy shook hands with them. The same facial expressions came and went on their faces before more laughter followed.

Okay. This was not good. Should you go find out? But you didn’t know if you wanted to. You had decided early on that you didn’t want to get too close to Tess. The lesser of a friend you were to her, the less severe the scratches she would leave on your face should she find out you had slept with her man.

The group was now intently discussing something, huddling closer to one another. You were practically pressed up against the window now, trying hard to listen in, but to no avail. Damn you, high quality triple paned picture window!

They talked for a good few more minutes before dispersing, your three friends bee lining for your front door. You just about injured yourself trying to move over the scattered boxes and half-assembled furniture to get to the kitchen before they came in, somehow managing to sip on your coffee just as they did, Ethan’s bad leg giving you the opportunity to get there in time.

The four of you had breakfast, unpacking the basic kitchen utensils you bought as you did. You had just finished unloading them into the dishwasher when Maria suddenly chirped.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you. The neighbours are coming to help assemble the rest of the Ikea stuff this afternoon.”

“What? No!”

“Why not?” Ethan asked, innocently sipping his coffee. “It was your idea, wasn’t it? At Ikea, a pizza assembly party! Plus, they’re your neighbours. You should be nice to them. Who do you think would be coming to your immediate rescue if you scream for help?”

“They’re bringing the pizza, too. Very nice neighbours, if you ask me,” Kyle chimed in, mouth full of eggs, “That reminds me, we need to order drinks,” he said, taking his phone out.

“We could tackle the rest ourselves. We don’t need their help!”

“Oh honey, who are you kidding? It took us hours to assemble your closet. They are contractors. They could probably do it in half the time and not break a sweat!” Maria said.

“But…”

“Babes, talk to him. You might be surprised,” Ethan coaxed.

You spent the rest of that morning unpacking your clothes into your closet, taking the nightstands upstairs and getting your room somewhat in useable order. Your head was empty, your heart beating uncomfortably fast, trying hard to not think about seeing Joel again. You picked up the boxes from downstairs and brought them up to the respective rooms, wanting to make things easier for the freaking party you’d only suggested in the first place because it didn’t occur to you that there was a possibility that the man you slept with was gonna be joining you.

Noon finally came, and you were attempting to lift the rolled up double mattress to bring up to the guest bedroom when the first knock came, startling you to the point of almost dropping the mattress. Kyle had to catch you, taking the mattress from you and taking it upstairs himself.

So there you were, standing on your staircase, not knowing what to do when Maria opened the door and greeted Tommy, Tess, and the man you were trying to avoid, carrying his daughter. They all, save for Joel, greeted each other enthusiastically. You reluctantly went to meet them, taking the many, many, many pizza boxes from Tommy into the kitchen, before turning around, almost bulldozing a little girl who, unbeknownst to you, had followed the pizza boxes.

“Oh!”

“Hello!” she said, her eyes, so like her dad’s, looking up at you. “I’m Sarah Miller. What’s your name?”

Miller. Joel Miller. So that’s his name.

“Hi Sarah, I’m Aria.”

“Hi Aya.”

“No, baby, not Aya, it’s Aria,” Joel’s soft voice said, making your heart stop.

“Aya.”

He knelt in front of his daughter, “Ah Ria,” he said, nodding his head so she could repeat after him.

“Ah Ya.”

He laughed softly, looking up at you, mouthing ‘sorry’.

Oh well, she’s too cute to correct anyway. You’ll take it. Aya it’ll be.

“I’m hungry, Aya,” she said. “Daddy order cheese sticks for me.”

“Ah, right, I’ll put some on a plate for you.”

You rummaged around looking for the correct box, Joel pointing it out to you. You genuinely had no idea how you’re still alive and kicking in the kitchen right now – you were convinced your heart stopped beating the moment you saw him. You went to the cabinetry to get a plate, but he stopped you.

“We got paper plates and cups for today, figured you might not be equipped to serve this many people yet,” he said, taking some out of a bag he had just deposited on the counter, handing one to you.

You took it, placing some cheese sticks on it to give to Sarah. The little girl thanked you, climbing on a dining chair to eat it. Joel handed her a napkin, kneeling in front of her, asking her if she remembered what they talked about.

“No mess in Aya’s house,” she said, carefully eating the cheese stick with the plate below her mouth to avoid spills and crumbs.

“Oh, no, that’s okay, we can clean things up,” you quickly said.

She shook her head. “No, I behave. For Daddy.”

God, you hadn’t had that many children around you, but this kid is kinda awesome. And so cute. Too bad you might be the reason for her parents’ possible break up.

The rest of the gang came in, taking paper plates and helping themselves to pizza, standing around the kitchen, sitting down and leaning on cabinetry, eating and laughing as you all did. You and Joel joined along, but somehow, less enthusiastic compared to the rest. Sarah asked for a slice from you, of all people, and you lifted her up the counter so she could choose. After much deliberation from her, during which you had to explain and demonstrate that bell peppers were a type of chilli but not the spicy kind, she settled on plain cheese, politely asking you if you could cut the pizza into smaller pieces for her.

As you placed her back on her chair with her plate of cut up pizza, you suddenly realized how quiet the kitchen was. You turned around to see the entire gang staring at you, a small smile on their faces.

“What?”

Nothing, nothing, they all claimed, going back to idle chit chat.

Joel wanted to cry. Bad enough that you were now living next door with your hunk of a man, but now he had seen his daughter, usually taking a while to warm up to strangers, easily took to you, asking you for the cheese sticks and pizza rather than him, Tess or Tommy. Fuck. How was he supposed to get over you if you kept being perfect for him? This was literally torture.

“So, Tess,” Ethan started, breaking the silence. “How did you and Joel meet?”

Shit. Really, Ethan? You tried to give him the deadliest of your death glares, but he, along with the others were now looking at Tess, who quickly wiped her mouth with a napkin and swallowing, taking a few sips of her drink, no doubt preparing herself to regale you and the rest with the romance story that would shatter your heart.

“Oh, we go way back, really. I suppose it all began when our grandparents met.”

Huh?

She obviously clocked your confused look, “Our mothers were sisters. Joel and Tommy are my first cousins. My parents died when I was eight. Uncle Jake and Aunt Anita took me in. We grew up together.”

Ew… they’re kissing cousins?

“Daddy,” Sarah said, nudging Joel on the hips.

“What is it baby?”

“I make a mess,” she said, pointing to a piece of cheese she had dropped on the floor.

Joel bent down to get the cheese, wiping the floor with the napkin he was holding.

Wait, baby? She’s the baby? He called Sarah, baby?

Ah… Tess called him, and he was talking to her… to Sarah. His baby.

So, he and Tess were not…

“What about you two?” Tess asked Kyle, “How did you and Aria meet?”

You couldn’t help but see Joel’s shoulders stiffen as he stopped wiping the floor, standing up with a defeated look on his face, going over to the trash can to deposit the now soiled napkin. What the hell was that all about?

“Oh, we go way back as well. She’s my first and only girlfriend. High school sweethearts,” he said, taking a bite of pizza.

Why was everyone smiling? All eyes were, for some reason, on Joel, who was busying himself at the counter, taking more napkins, spending way too much time selecting one as he waited for Kyle to finish chewing and continuing the story as his heart began to dissolve into a puddle of hopelessness.

“Anyway, prom night came, and I realized that while I love her with all my heart, I cannot lie to myself. I’m gay.”

Joel’s head snapped as he turned to Kyle.

“Her Dad and Grandpa almost killed me. But when they heard my parents disowned me for being gay, her Grandpa, bless his soul, took me in, sent me to college, and we’ve been best friends ever since. Can’t imagine my life without this amazing woman,” Kyle said, coming over to give you a side hug and a kiss on the temple. “She introduced me to Ethan, and we’ve been married for three years now.”

More smiles around the kitchen as Kyle squeezed your shoulder, giving you another kiss.

“So, you two are not together?” Joel heard himself say before he could stop himself, suddenly not caring if there were others in the kitchen with the two of you.

“No,” you answered, puzzled that he would think that.

“So, why did you leave that morning? What did I do?”

You rubbed your face, feeling stupid right then, “I heard you talking on the phone. You called someone ‘baby’, telling her you loved her, you missed her, and I peeped, I know I shouldn’t, but I saw you talking to Tess.”

Realization dawned on his face. “You thought Tess was my girl? No, I was talking to Sarah. Tess called me for her. She was babysitting. She’s like a sister to me, we grew up together.”

You nodded, “I figured, just now.”

The two of you laughed at what was now clearly a misunderstanding.

“So, we both thought we helped the other cheat?” he asked, a huge smile on his face.

You laughed, feeling so silly, but oh so relieved.

It was only then you realized that the kitchen was empty. Even Sarah was gone.

“So,” Tess came back into the kitchen, the others milling about the living room looking at the remaining boxes, “Why don’t the two of you take the study and smaller guest bedroom upstairs? Tommy and Maria can take the guest bedroom, the guys and I and Sarah will take care of whatever’s downstairs. She didn’t leave much room for discussion, quickly going back to the living room, a sly smile on her face.

You and Joel stood awkwardly in the kitchen for a few seconds, hands in your pockets, before he gestured for you to go ahead. He followed you into the smallest room, meant to be your office, his tool kit in his hands.

“So,” he said, as he took a cutter and began to cut open the box your desk came in, “You’re not with Kyle, but are you seeing anyone?”

You shook your head, taking the plastic off the gamer chair you had purchased. You?

No, he said with a small laugh.

So, both of you were single.

So you asked him to tell you everything, just so there was no confusion. And shockingly, he did. He told you everything, shaking his head as he did, feeling stupider and stupider as he repeated his love life to you. “That morning we went hiking? I woke up to IG stories of her wedding. On what would’ve been our eight year anniversary. The new husband is 23.”

Ah… hence the tears and the sullen demeanour.

“I’m sorry, Joel. And she hadn’t had any contact with Sarah?”

He shook his head. “I think, after those years she left, that was the thing that got me the most. How could you not want your own child? I think I saw her hold Sarah maybe twice since she was born. Never fed her, not even at the hospital. All bottles. All me, my Mama, my mother in law, father in law, Tommy or Tess. She didn’t care. She just didn’t want her. We thought, or maybe hoped, as wrong as this might sound, that it would be a post-partum thing, at least that would mean this was all a phase, that she would snap out of it, but she never did.”

Wow. You were really at a loss for words here. You couldn’t even imagine. How lucky for that little girl that she had Joel as a father, her Nana, her aunt and uncle to give her the love she deserved.

“She’s an amazing little girl, Joel, you did a good job.”

He smiled, a soft thank you escaping his lips. “So, what about you? What’s your story?”

You took a deep breath, warned him to brace himself, and told your story. You told him everything. Your mother, your sister, Kyle, Eric, the boyfriends before him, and finally, Andrew. Another realization dawned on his face when you told him the reason you were in Bali, shaking his head, telling you how sorry he was you had to go through all that.

You shrugged. Your lot in life, it seemed.

The two of you worked in near silence after that, completing the desk, chair, bookshelves and armchair in your office before moving on to the smaller guest bedroom.

He learnt a bit more about you, what you did for a living, where you went to college, and you in turn learnt more about him, and how he came to own the business with Tommy. Once the daybed, closet and nightstand for the room were assembled, the two of you sat on the new bed, facing each other.

“Look, Aria, I’m gonna be straight here. I like you. I really do. But I have a feeling, that you are maybe not quite ready to date?”

You nodded hesitantly. “I like you too, Joel. But I’m worried that if I move too fast, things might fall apart faster. What if I’m just rebounding? And the way my life is, I’m worried you’re just gonna find it a bit much.”

He nodded too, “I understand, I feel exactly the same way. I’d be lying if I say I’m ready for another relationship, especially since my last one was mostly on standby for years. But I have to be smart here, I have Sarah to think about. It wouldn’t be fair to her,” he said.

More understanding nods were exchanged.

“But” he continued, “Maybe, we could get to know each other better? Take it real slow? For real?”

“Do over?”

“Do over.”

He held out his hand to you, “Hi, I’m Joel. Joel Miller. I’m a single dad, recently divorced, and I live next door.”

You took his hand, “Hi, Joel Miller. I’m Aria Stevens. Recently dumped at the altar, has two wonderful fathers, a questionable mother and sister I no longer talk to, and am best friends with my ex-boyfriend. I just moved in next door to you.”

“Nice to meet you,” both of you said, a huge smile on your faces.

A loud crash came from the other guest bedroom, Joel immediately rushing to the door, asking if everything was alright.

“Erm, yeah, bed frame fell,” Maria’s voice came, rather meekly. There was a lot of shuffling before the door was unlocked, a dishevelled Maria and Tommy emerging, looking guilty as fuck. The furniture remained unassembled, save for the mattress, which was unrolled and inflated, lying in the middle of the room, next to a fallen headrest.

“Oh God,” you cringed, upon realizing what just happened, “You’re buying me a new mattress,” you told Maria, who was trying hard to stop herself from smiling.

“Well, someone had to Christen it!” she defended, her face red.

“Sorry, Aria,” Tommy meekly offered as you turned around to head downstairs. “We’ll get going on assembling the stuff now.”

You shivered as you went down the stairs, Joel chuckling behind you, lifting Sarah up as she gave up collecting discarded boxes with Ethan and running to her dad. “You want another slice?” he asked her, and she quickly nodded. He got her a slice, cut it up into smaller pieces, just as Tess came in from the back yard, telling you the benches and table for the backyard were assembled. Joel asked if it would be okay for Sarah to eat there? Of course! You got a plate for the both of you as he grabbed some drinks and went outside to eat in the fresh air.

Tess, Ethan and Kyle joined the three of you, making use of the newly assembled outdoor furniture, chatting about your plans for the house, you telling him you hadn’t even bought the electronics yet. You didn’t even have a car, not that you needed one desperately. You’ll be working from home, but since you would be required to meet up with clients, you should probably get one some time.

Joel offered to drive you if needs be, and you told him you didn’t want to take his time away from his work. He brushed your concerns off, saying he could take time off if you needed him to, he’s the boss, after all. He had workers to delegate to, he said, causing Tess to choke on her drink. She looked like she was going to say something but changed her mind when she saw the look Joel gave her. You suspected he didn’t delegate much when it came to work when even Sarah giggled along with her aunt.

A faint ‘hello’ could be heard from the front. Tess craned her neck to see, telling Joel someone was in front of their house. Maybe a delivery? He shrugged, he didn’t order anything. Neither did she, Tess said, getting up to see.

“Something tells me you don’t skip work as much as you claim you could, Mr Miller,” you said to him, taking a piece of cinnamon bread from his plate, nudging him with your shoulder, laughing a little.

“Hey, a man can change,” he said, to an explosion of giggles from Sarah. “What? I can too, change!” he defended, to more giggles from her, as if he just said the funniest thing ever.

Kyle and Ethan watched this exchange, Ethan nudging Kyle to point out that you and Joel were eating off each other’s plates as if it was the most obvious thing to do. You were wiping Sarah’s mouth with a napkin when Tess reappeared, a lady following her.

“There you are,” she said, “Hi Sarah!” she cooed sweetly. Sarah nuzzled into your side, telling you she wanted to wash her hands.

You looked at Joel, seeking permission from him, noticing the bewildered look on his face at this lady’s sudden appearance. He nodded, helping you up. You lifted Sarah up and went into the kitchen. She ran off to the living room to look for her iPad once you’ve dried her hands. Tommy and Maria came down, Tommy joining all of you in the backyard while Maria sat with Sarah, looking at the game she was playing.

You sat back down next to Joel, as the lady, Lucy, apparently, talked about the pudding she had brought. She was in the area, she said, dropping off a dish to a friend down the street, she thought he might enjoy some too.

Tommy quickly got the disposable dish from her, Joel still sitting down, thanking her for the dish. Tess sat back down, thanking her again.

“Can I join you guys?” Lucy asked.

“Actually, we were just leaving,” Tommy said, “Thanks for the pudding, though.”

“Oh? Maybe we could go for a walk, Joel?”

“Uh, I’m kinda beat. Sorry. Plus it’s my free day. I need to spend it with Sarah,” Joel said, looking inside to see what Sarah was doing.

There was a few seconds of awkward silence before Lucy excused herself, telling Joel to enjoy the pudding, glancing at you briefly, giving you a small smile and disappearing.

Okay, that was weird.

“How did she know where we live?” Tommy asked.

“Maybe Jules told her?” Tess guessed, looking rather uncomfortable.

“Jules and I dated for two months. She didn’t know where I live. I never told her, never brought her here, remember?”

The three of them looked at each other uncomfortably.

“Sorry to ask, but who is she?” Ethan asked. The awkwardness was palpable.

“She’s this woman Tommy’s ex tried to fix up with Joel once,” Tess told him.

Ah… you thought, trying to brush away the small pang of jealousy that suddenly peeked its ugly head in your head.

As they were leaving that evening, you thanked your new neighbours for their help, Joel asking you if you’d like to go to the electronics store the next day with him. Wouldn’t hurt to look? You agreed on the spot, blushing a little as he kissed you on the cheek, thanking him again for his help.

As you laid in bed that night, a text message chimed in.

‘It was nice spending time with you again, Ms Grump. Good night. See you tomorrow. Mr Grump.’

You quickly saved his number, texting him a ‘good night Mr Grump’, going to sleep with your heart light, and dreams of him and his sweet, dimply smile.

**********

The next day you and Joel spent some time at a store to look at some basic electronics. It was as if the awkwardness of that reunion day had decreased way down. The two of you sort of fell into easy chit chats as if you’d known each other forever. He was rather excited to show you around, telling you this was a far cry from shopping for soaps and coffee in Bali.

Turns out, going with him had its perks. He very quickly pointed out something about required plumbing for a washer dryer you were thinking of purchasing, telling you the plumbing at your house would suit another one, instead. He would know, he installed them. As you were placing your order for the basics, Joel looked around for a good coffee machine to purchase as a house warming present for you, although you did try to talk him out of it. He was staring at a particularly complicated looking one when someone tapped him on his shoulder.

“Hi! Three times in three days! How lucky for me!” Lucy chirped.

Joel looked around, “You here alone?”

“Yeah, I needed a blender,” she said. “Wanna help me choose one?”

“Actually, I’m looking for something myself,” he said, rather uncomfortable now.

“Oh, cool, I can help you look, what are we looking for?”

“All done! Delivery in two days, which means, I will only have clean clothes, cold food and big screen entertainment in… oh, hi!” you said, smiling at Lucy, stopping your cart filled with appliances you could carry home next to Joel.

“Hello,” she said, returning your smile. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Lucy,” she offered you a hand.

“Aria.”

There was a few seconds of awkward silence as Lucy looked at Joel, asking him again about her offer to shop together.

“I’m here with someone,” Joel said, turning to you and pointing to a classic looking coffee machine, as well as a more modern looking one next to it. “What do you think?”

“Joel, I told you, you didn’t need to do this. I can get one myself.”

“And I said I wanted to give you a house warming present. Plus, this way, I can make sure I have the rights to use it every now and again when mine breaks, since I bought it for you,” he teased, smiling, “Need to have that Balinese coffee again, you know?”

You laughed, reluctantly pointing at the classic looking one. He immediately picked up the box it came in from under the display, adding it to your cart.

“Well, I’ll see you around?” he said to Lucy, who quickly smiled and said a polite goodbye to the two of you. Joel placed his hand on the small of your back, pushing the cart with his other hand, saying goodbye to Lucy.

The two of you had a quick lunch at the store, laughing at stupid purchases you both had made in the past only to find them to be a complete waste of money. By the time he left your house, having come in to help you assemble the coffee machine, it was as if that awkward reunion had never happened.

Once the electronics were delivered, you spent the rest of the week just getting your house ready for your dads’ visit, going out to buy sheets and towels for them. Ethan came with you sometimes, when his bad leg allowed, but otherwise, you were alone, Ubering your way around the city. You were excited. You first home – you had only lived in shared apartments or dorms before – so this visit needed to be perfect. And next week, you would officially be a designer for Ethan’s company, which he somehow managed to run without an actual office. The wonders of technology.  

As you drew your curtains closed that evening, a glimpse of a man caught your eyes. He looked familiar. Not familiar like he was someone you knew, but rather someone you’d seen throughout the week. Like someone you kept running into.

Oh well, new place. As big as the city was, it wasn’t that big. You’re bound to see the same faces every now and again, right?

---

Part 8

[crazy-fangirl2524]

All of us want to read “books that are different from the books we like but also exactly like it” and that’s why we have fanfictions. That’s why we love fanfictions. It is literally the book we love but in a different font.

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

ok please remember when i say this i am at a highly overscheduled time in my life but the latest agatha show ep kinda slapped for real

[ratatatastic]

"When you guys are playing and, like, we all got podcasts and there are big podcasts out there, you know, are going from series to series, and they're critiquing teams and what not—like, at the end, do you know who's chirping you? Do you pay attention to that shit? Do you know who's on your side? Do you know who's, you know, rooting against you? Do you guys pay attention to that kind-of stuff? I'm just curious." "Yeah, I think this might be the first podcast I've ever done—I'm not the biggest fan of podcasts to be honest. I think—I'm friends with that, you know, [Shane] O'Brien, and [Scottie] Upshall (2 out of the 3 cohosts of the Missin' Curfew podcast), I love those guys... so if they ask I would do it but... again they, I think—I think negativity flows through media so much that it just kind-of disgusts me and I want nothing to do with it to be honest. So I hate the negativity, I think it's crazy, I think negativity in media steers guys away from certain teams... it's like, 'Why do you want that?' right? So I don't know, I'm a huge fan of the positivity, finding the positives in players and not putting guys down especially in podcasts and stuff like that where it should be for the players, right? It should be a positive thing, something that we rally around. Especially as ex-players!" "Yeah! We're gonna pump your tires!" "That's it!" "Well, you still gotta be real though!" "No, I know!" "You know if you have a bad game—" "It's gotta be real! For sure!" "—You gotta be real! You can't fake out your audience either so it's still a business." "One hundred percent! One hundred percent, one hundred percent... and I get that but—Yeah, I mean, I saw all those Spittin' Chiclets guys all over Edmonton's bandwagon so..." "That really bothered you guys, eh? Like, I mean, you guys were paying attention to that. I mean, as evidence as well on what took place on the ice after the game... you guys weren't, like, fucking around, you were being serious, right? You guys—that really bothered you guys?" "Hundred percent." "What was it? Like, the most that bothered you about it? Just the fact that, 'Hey, you guys are rooting for them... why are you trying to celebrate with us?' I mean, was it—is it that simple?" "Exactly. Yeah, get the f—we won, get off... right? Get out of here. That's uh, yeah. I don't know, I don't want to be too controversial or anything like that. I'm a happy guy, I like everybody so... whatever." "They're all good dudes, man. Listen if they're into hockey and they're talking about hockey thats a positive one way or the other!" "Oh, they're growing the game! They're growing the game! Huge! And they're doing a great job and I've spoke with Biz [Paul Bissonnette] a few times and I know Whit [Ryan Whitney] (Cohosts of Spittin' Chiclets) and I've got no issues with any of 'em. Truly."

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[vaxxildamn]

very happy Matt decided to clarify his stance on the genocide of the Palestinian people rn. Pretty unhappy with the way he worded it, who he centered in his video, and disappointed to see the responses to it on Twitter.

kinda scared to even post about it bc CR fans can get so defensive about their favorite white people that they can often leave little room for criticism or nuance. but man I have thoughts.

[autumnrory]

i've been going into the liam tag from time to time the last year where both his fans and people who hated him were Weird about him well before there were any allegations so i would get curious, i don't even remember what started it (maybe it was merely looking for photos that update accounts wouldn't post), but i normally try to avoid going into anything but edit tags for people i enjoy bc there are so many nonsense takes

and of course happening to go through today before the news broke bc i wanted to see what was being said about the abuse as i've only gotten bits on twitter and of course there were many posts rightfully calling it out and all but there's that weird mentality which i was getting a lot more of from twitter but some on here where they're like??? celebrating it and girlboss-ing and i'm just like. okay it's great that you're believing a victim but you're making light of it by talking about it like it's just another stan thing, i have seen that time and time again when this kind of stuff comes out and if people already thought that person was annoying or whatever they're just like "oh yes! i knew it! their career is ruined haha!" and it's like. you clearly don't actually care about the horrible things this person has done and just want to brag that you somehow ~knew~ a stranger's vibes were off and it's so beyond gross like you could use that energy to support a person's victims and instead you'll just try to prove you stan the right people and never the wrong ones or whatever

[mothbeasts]

please publically talk about her feelinsg on romance or i'll eat you alive 🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕

oukay I will

The Fabricator, to me, really holds up the idea of romance in her mind. She loves the idea of having a partner, going on dates, being in love and being loved in return. But every time she's tried it, something has gone wrong. She's been hurt, turned on, scorned- And now she's scared to try again. She wants to, she so desperately wants it, but she's terrified of what might happen.

I think she does love, still, but she never speaks about it. She keeps it hidden away and protected. Having her heart broken again... She wouldn't be able to handle that. She can't risk it.

[cowardstiel]

i think it should be mandatory that everyone watch The Social Dilemma at least once every six months

[taeyungie]

hi ♡ i guess i'm back? 🥹

here's a little life update! i think you guys deserve it after my absence that lasted longer than even i expected it to last ;( i am very sorry about that. i miss everyone here and bangtan so much, you have no idea. the reason for all that is that for the past months i have been going through a lot of things and changes in my life. there were good and bad things happening, time flies extra fast, days melt into one and i didn't even notice the past half a year pass. although i think my absence was unavoidable in these circumstances i just thought that you guys deserve to know what's been up with me for the past months haha i have received a lot messages and reminders that people remember about me and that they miss me and i just want to send all of you my biggest apologies for leaving you for so long with no response, as well as all my love and gratitude! 🥺 i think i've been always fairly transparent on here so if anyone wanted to know more I'll leave some more details in the tags but basically I just hope that soon i will be able to become more active again and respond to messages ❤️❤️❤️ i hope everyone is doing great 🥰

[leenaur143]

lee min ho is so loved 💜