#we NEED to hang out this summer
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i miss my cupcake snugglemuffin pumpkin wumpkin bumpkin smookie wookie dookie pookie alex :((
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made myself sad thinking about a world where landoscar were no longer teammates 😞
#landoscar#honestly don’t want them to ever separate#they work so well as a pair#I just want them to take turns winning races#and championships#together#like honestly who could ever replace them#I don’t see lando leaving mclaren#and I don’t see oscar leaving lando…#if we see them hanging out aside from racing at all over the summer or winter break yall will need to perform cpr#i’m on the landoscar besties agenda
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huh. the smallest silliest things really do pull me from my own head
#i was rounding hour 3 of a morning breakdown after feeling small and insignificant in the world#and then my brother texted me directly asking if I'd come to hang out for his birthday this weekend (i already was gonna cause my sister tld#me ab it) and that simple thing Instantly made me feel better 🥺#i just want to be wanted nonsexually/for company lol#and i want to be Explicitly wanted cause i get so many open invites to things but rarely do i get “can We hang out” unless im prompting#(which I don't mind or even resent - i do like that im able to ask for the time and company i need now and i enjoy now that i can plan#hangouts and social calls and stuff now but since it also falls on my shoulders a Lot to plan (and last night pointed that out to me when i#asked my friend if we could try seeing each other this summer and he immediately was like yes i will plan the activity if u come here)#i sometimes get sad and small and weepy and in my head about it sometimes and it meshes with the way I struggle really hard to Make Friends#or even Be In Community Actively bc both require a level of social energy/ability im not very good at in reality bc even tho i can Talk i#really struggle socially. irl i am nearly completely isolated outside of work. i am working on these things too just takes time)#but yeah. that really really helped. im gonna go exercise now so the yuck feeling from sweaty crying becomes sweaty exercise glow bye bye< 3#bunny rambles
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✌🏻ᵥᵢ𝚋ᵢ𝚗 wᵢ𝚝 𝚍ₐ 𝚋ₒᵢ𝘴✌🏻
#chillin on a saturday with the limp crew are the only vibes I need#just posted up on the curb in front of the taco bell on a hot summer day just shootin the shit. life is good.#as much as the live performance scenes from the Break Stuff video are top tier with the guys swapping instruments and stuff#the shots at the skate lab are so fucking fire man.#between the action shots of the skaters doing their thing#to the shots like these of the guys just hanging out and bumpin their music#god I love that so much#Limp Bizkit#nu metal#DJ Lethal#John Otto#Sam Rivers#Fred Durst#Wes Borland#down the rabbit hole
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:c
#i luv my friends ;-; i feel like i’m gonna lose my mind when i’m not living right by all my friends lmao 😭#i’ve literally been hanging out w ppl like at least every other day if not every day#we made semi spontaneous plan to go to pride tmrwwweww 🥹🥹 i’m excited#i just am so happy that i get to spend sm time w ppl rn bc we’re all somewhat free bc summer 😭#also idk i was just thinking abt this recently but like#it’s kinda new to me to like actually be comfortable/confident in knowing my friends want/like my presence ;-;#even then i’m not that confident LMAO bc after sm time together i’m like surely they’ll get sick of me#like we’ve seen each other every day the past like three days#but no 🥹 ugh like idk man i had one elementary to sort of middle and high school friendship#that like fucked me up i feel like lmfao 💀#like girl sidelined me so much for other friends that i just#:l and cried so much bc of that 😀 anyway 😀#so like idk i’m just so grateful rn 😭😭😭#also was thinking abt it recently bc my mom made me feel judged/ made me feel like she was annoyed that i was staying here on campus#when i technically don’t need to and my main/only reason is bc friends#and after that conversation w her i got kinda annoyed bc i was like#i have had so many conversations w you where i was sad af or frustrated that my friends wouldn’t reach out to me ever#or my friend who never paid attention to me when other friends were around#like i don’t think she’s actually judging like me staying for friends but it was that one conversation we were both kinda annoyed idk#and i was just like . pls#anyway 😀 i always have so many friend thoughts i always be overthinking it LOL#anyway anyway i need to be up in like 6 hrs LOLLLLLL pride tho yay 🥰🥰🥰#rip me not having clean cute clothes for this LOL 🤪#ong last yr i tied my hair in a ponytail w like rainbow hair ties tied down the ponytail……#idk if i have those but if i do maybe i should do that again LOL#idk might be too lazy tho we’ll see how much time i have to get ready when i wake up 🤡#jeanne talks#TOO MUCH BYE
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how to make friends in ur 20s no borax no glue
#i only have 2 friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and one of them moved back home for the summer so we’re down to 1 and she doesn’t wanna be toxic codependent besties and hang out every day#real question tho!!!#i keep thinking i’m getting close at work but nothing ever happens#i literally suggest going out after work with people like i’m BRAVE but it never happens#i like they genuinely like me like i always get along with them but i can’t go from work friends to real friends#😔😔😔😔#and half of the time they’re like omg we need to hang out outside of work and i’m like omg yes and then nothing!!!!#also i cant with bumble friends because i just get platonically ghosted !!!!#which is more humiliating than regular ghosting#mari.txt
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Bro why are there so many suffixes in Kazakh what's happening
#plural case? SUFFIX. you want a preposition? SUFFIX. you want a (god forbid) possessive modifier?? you guessed it lads: SUFFIX#and they stack too?? like fr why are we tacking eighteen different mini words onto this library's ass#she just wants to check out books!!#she doesn't need a brazilian butt lift she needs the govt to give her that 20% budget increase she asked for last fall#ah well#i'm being overdramatic i just haven't gotten the hang of it yet#at least kazakh doesn't make me remember a million different grammatical genders and arbitrary stress shifts#unlike some OTHER languages i could mention#(cough cough RUSSIAN)#school talk#in other news i just took my 807th oral proficiency assessment for russian and uhhhhhhh ya girl's vocabulary did NOT survive the summer ✌️
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i rlly like my new co worker bc do you guys know how refreshing it is to hang out with another queer guy multiple times a week irl
#i love all my friends and the gay ppl in my phone but i did really need more regular irl interactions with fellow fags#and i dont mean just like going to the club but actually hanging out with someone and possibly befriending them#leevi talks#our last summer trainee was a cishet guy and he was alright but we were not on the same. like. not page but#we were clearly two very different people who saw the world in wildly different ways and had nothing in common#we werent even work friends. just co workers#he was alright tho like he wasnt a bigot or anything! but not everyone needs to be more than acquaintances
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thinking about gene and tina's relationship again. with god as my witness i will finish my gene and tina fanfiction when my life has calmed down a bit more </3
#i guess i just wanted an excuse to keep hanging out with you :( we don't need an excuse to hang out :(#txt#bob's burgers#coming this summer?? maybe?
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i will genuinely never understand my dad!!! and i feel guilty for being confused and angered by him!!!! i don't know what he wants and i doubt i ever will
i guess he's known that he's had cancer for over a month now but never told me. and i dont know if it's because he wanted me to reach out/pay attention to him, as he's done in the past or if he just didn't think to, or if it's some other third mysterious reason that i can't think up
we aren't close since he was rarely in my life but i feel like that's something you tell your kid.
and the only reason i found out is because i went to go check and see why he hadn't replied to my message about asking if he wanted to hang out for the thousandth time without getting a response
#[static]#he tells me 'kid im gonna change i miss you i love you we need to hang out more im sorry that i wasnt around'#and then when we try and make plans it's like pulling teeth to get him to follow through#and sure there's been a couple of times in my life where ive had to back out of plans with him but like .....#we're talking less times than i have fingers on one hand in 30 years lol meanwhile he disappears for years without a word regularly#i thought we got somewhere last year when i decided to reach out after i stopped talking to him#we're both adults and we're busy but i somehow manage to have regular scheduled dnd games with 4 other adults twice a month#and i cant get my biological father who claims to want to know me reply to a message#and i know i know i know he's got his own demons and battles but i s2g it's just Frustrating because i dont know what he wants from me#i dont fuck with indecision and i dont like not knowing where i stand with someone#i know that he wont reach out to people in hopes they 'care enough' about him to do it#but like dude .......... SHOW THAT YOU CARE ABOUT ME TOO WTF#i want to be unendingly compassionate to him since he's gotta figure out what he's gonna do regarding his throat cancer#but like ..... what am i supposed to do with this lmao he saw my message and didn't reply and maybe he's busy#but he also didnt reply to any of my other messages asking to make time to see each other#but then he called me this summer to see if i was in town when he was there (and i wasn't and it was out of the blue)#he also posted a lowkey transphobic comedy sketch on his page which is weird because that's not really his politics but also he's old#and i can just hear exactly what he'd say about it if i tried to even bring it up to him ever#idk what he wants from me but i sometimes think even he doesn't know#i think we missed our time to mend things into something that makes sense#anyways sorry for the vent into the void i just got new information and dealing with stuff about my dad is always difficult#i have rarely felt wanted by him and have never felt seen for who i am either
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It only took me
*quickly googles when it came out*
Eight years to finally get a frame and hang my Rogue One poster that I procured from the local theatre when they finished playing the movie way back when 🥲
#kee speaks#hard to get scale cause nothing else in the pic but its one of the ones that hangs outside the theatre in the lightbox thing#so it's bigger than a typical poster#i have a Jedi Survivor poster and three more that are more normal sized but i have to reorganize so i can hang them up#I've literally had this poster almost as long as I've been in this house#i moved in in August of the same year this movie came out (in December) and the poster has just been rolled up on top of a shelf ever since#🥲🥲#also finally got BD-1's head back on his body this evening#cause I'd taken it off to send with a friend to get Cameron to sign it at a convention earlier this year#been too busy so his heads just been laying next to his body all summer 😅😅#friend lost his eye though so we need to have a Lego Store date and get replacement parts#(ive already looked it up and its like less than $1 worth of parts so it'll be a cheap trip at least lol)
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13/100 days of productivity Saturday, 29th July. I live because I love. Checklist:
🌱6 hours of sunlight + walking 🇩🇪 20 min of German on Duolingo
#spent the entire day hanging out with my best friend. we walked several places and spoke so much it was awesome i love them so much#they reminded me how much i love art and writing and god. i need to get bacl to write more often#aesthetic#academia#light acadamia aesthetic#studyblr#art#photoblr#studyspo#study inspo#bookblr#books#productivity#photography#summer#nature#100dop#100 dop#100 days of productivity#2023dop
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depression cancelled i cleaned up a small part of my room and also my bag
#logbook#i hsd tea bags in my bag without a baggie bc im an idiot and was walking around with spilled tea in said bag for a month#i have spent all weekend in a depressive haze im so tired and sick. and this week is going to SUCK ass.#its fine everythings fine.#im debating if i want to go do laundry tonite or not. in the process i could pick up some food and things for the house up here.#and then not have to go down tmrw. . .sighs#also my plans to hang out wirh new friend were cancelled. he said he didnt make enough and had to work and was like 'oh yeah#we can hang out for an hour' and im like bro wont you need to get ready for work. like dw abt our hang out take care of yourself#and then we bonded over taking care of ourselves LOL#i think it worked out bc i ended up tsking 2 hrs to build a maybe hr max furniture and then napped for another 2 hours#i was so sick snd exhausted. this whole weekend has been like what if you are never not depressed. thanks man!#i forget how depressed i get at the end of summer going into fall everybodys so up there and im just waaaay down here#but i have managed to do some things. finally pulled myself out to bed. and ive also forced myself to eat so theres thst too.#jk also in case it wasn't obvious. depression still here
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I'm a day late as usual, but happy first day of summer from the Hero/Villain cast! I really tried to find a good way to get the umbrella Axel's under to be visible but it just really wasn't working out so just shadow it is.
As usual, speed paint is below the cut! Also we worked on this image from start to the end of the lineart on Twitch! If you want to see some art or just vibe with some friend themed background noise, come drop by! link is in my pinned post
#webtoon canvas#Hero/Villain Webtoon#H/V#H/V Webtoon#H/V Axel Grey#H/V twins#H/V Kai Tanaka#H/V Ren Tanaka#H/V Vance Thorne#kk's art#artists on tumblr#summer#beach day#look at these dorks#Axel highkey not wanting to be here but babysitting#Kai being an absolute menace to his brother#Vance being the surfer boi he is#also I havent made a big deal about it here (tho it was ALL over my insta) but#while working on this on twitch we reached affiliate status!!!!!#if you want to come hang out on stream we'll be making emotes and a lot of little art that the channel now needs#it's a really welcoming community feel free to drop by! link is in my pinned post
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Might be hanging out w d Thursday :)
#And q said she’s busy this week but maybe next week#won’t get my hopes up for q bc she’s been saying that for years now n we never actually hang out#but I do have a lil hope#(If I don’t see her this summer I’ll fall into another depressive episode)#But I’m seeing d so that’s good#I really need some human interaction I feel like… idk what I feel like but it’s not good just very disconnected#Screaming
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oh also shes straight
#and the part of me thats empty hopeless and constantly passively suicidal scores a goal!#a win for the agony within!#a loss for whimsy hope and serenity and the part of the me that is trying to heal and move forward without the weight of it all defining me.#it's like. im not surprised. why did i have expectations#why did i hope. i shouldnt hope. im so stupid. i shouldnt hope i should know better than that. im scarily lacking substance. im a shell#im a puppet. i cant form lasting relationships im an actor im a liar it would've never worked anyway#-> me going insane in real time#-> i sound so dramatic like go watch txt to do and chill out maybe ⁉️#idk lol 😐#im not giving up bc she said we should hang out again and friendship is always an option and she already#knows too much about me at this point so it's too late to back out#here is to befriending her for the sake of allowing myself to exist imperfectly and for the sake of hanging out with someone every week for#funsies and nothing else. we dont need to have some grand connection. she doesn't need to have a crush on me. we can just be#on campus buddies#we can meet during the summer at some points too maybe#idk. idk i want to disappear i think bc i really feel like i embarrassed myself by being so open about my insecurities#i should've put on the mask i usually wear#but i didnt#and everything thats pathetic about me was on full display#i don't know. god. i dont know#what matters is i made her smile a few times. my unnecessary commentary got a laugh out of her a few times too#the world is still spinning#the air was refreshingly chilly on my way home today#i got rained on and came to class looking beautiful despite my carefully slicked back hair falling into my eyes#my spanish professor agreed with my thoughts on the text we were analysing#z.post
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