#we MIGHT be back 🙏🏾

[xeebs]

way down hadestown 🌹🎶

[bikaidanalenko]

i was supposed to go back to school monday but thanks to the winter storm i’ve had the last 3 days off…

[httpsserene]

𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 “𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤”𝐞𝐝 - 𝐨𝐩. 𝟖𝟏

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: oscar’s girlfriend is feral on main. 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: crack. this is a shitpost, you have been warned. uh this is completely unrealistic, it’s pure vibes okay. this is not an accurate representation of those mentioned. 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: oscar piastri x fem!black!reader 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smau.

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: i wouldn’t consider myself an oscar girlie but then,,, i opened tumblr and saw the photos of oscar from when he went karting and um…now have another op 81 mess of a smau! this is completely unserious and it’s inspired by the nefarious actions i would do to oscar’s biceps. inspired by @dwarvenchords and @hookhausenschips ‘s reblog lol. it’s short but, enjoy, loves xxx.

insp. 1 | insp. 2 | taglist | feedback & requests | table of contents ↻

instagram

yninstagram • february 28th

view replies

oscarpiastri: love…you couldn’t even save this for the close friends stories? you had to post it on main yninstagram: did you like my joke? oscar “jack”ed piastri LOL im so clever oscarpiastri: ijbol 😐 yninstagram: i’d be pressed but ur muscles are distracting me oscarpiastri: u should cmere and give them a kiss :)

lilymhe: he let u tie a bow around his bicep?!!! omfg i have to do this with alex yninstagram: i don’t think alex has enough muscles to meet the requirement for the bow :/

landonorris: he’s such a simp landonorris: i would never let my girlfriend tie a bow on me 🥱 yninstagram: step 1: have a girlfriend

logansargeant: your freak out on twitter had a slight mentally-ill aura yninstagram: shut the fuck up and get on a podium before you talk to me yninstagram: gangly bitch + not funny didn’t laugh + L

instagram

yninstagram • february 28th • in between my boyfriends tiddies ⚑

liked by, oscarpiastri, mclaren, logansargeant, markwebber, and 1,223,458 others

yninstagram: things to do with your boyfriends muscles; listed in the comments below (a huge thanks to the toto user on twt for FINALLY sending me the photo)

tagged oscarpiastri

view comments

yninstagram 1. tie a bow around them (completed)

➥ user thx for sharing the photo

➥ user FUCK! I CAN’T FIND A PIECE OF PAPER TO WRITE THIS ON

yninstagram 2. kiss them (completed)

➥ user awh how cute! going to nap on the interstate rq

➥ user wait for me!

➥ user omg slumberpartyyyyy

yninstagram 3. touch them (completed)

➥ markwebber there’s a time i thought you were a normal girl

➥ yninstagram who told you to think that??

user i know those arms are rock solid 🥴🤤

user i’m the toto user on twitter !!! she did not kill me y’all !!!

➥ user u were flirting with death babes

➥ user i would not have admitted to this under her post

➥ user you should seek witness protection 🙏🏾

yninstagram 4. have him suffocate you with them (he said no)

➥ oscarpiastri WHY DID YOU INCLUDE THIS ONE

➥ logansargeant i think you’re proving the mentally-ill part y/n

➥ yninstagram u sound jealous logan

➥ user personally, i think if you didn’t want her to say that, you shouldn’t have muscles @/oscarpiastri

➥ oscarpiastri oh! yeah! why didn’t i think of that—lemme just take them off rq 😐 WTH

yninstagram 5. wall sex (?)

➥ oscarpiastri i specifically said not to say #4 and #5 in public

➥ user the question mark is SENDING MEEEEE

➥ yninstagram i mean, i can tell you that he didn’t say no to this one 😈 @/user

➥ landonorris i did not want to see this when i opened ig

➥ yninstagram do us all a favor then and delete ur account x

➥ oscarpiastri what she said^

➥ landonorris :o -> :(

yninstagram 6. draw on them (in progress)

➥ user wait this one is actually cute 🤭

➥ oscarpiastri watching the pure concentration on her face is adorable

➥ user omg she’s so 👉🏼👈🏼 coded

➥ oscarpiastri it tickles lol

➥ yninstagram ur moving around too much

➥ yninstagram might have to tie you to the headboard 😏

➥ user and she’s back on her bs

yninstagram 7. watch him flex for you (ongoing indefinitely)

➥ mclaren do we have your permission to post oscar thirst traps now?

➥ yninstagram i’m sure we could work out something mutually beneficial

oscarpiastri • february 28th • my girl’s basement ⚑

liked by yninstagram, danielricciardo, logansargeant, landonorris, and 1,478,539 others

oscarpiastri she knocked out on my chest halfway through drawing on me. didn’t know this was part of the boyfriend job description, felt like there was some false adverting. overall: 12/10 experience, will be doing this again.

view comments

danielricciardo didn’t know where this was going for a sec but fuck you guys are so cute 🥹

➥ oscarpiastri thank you? i guess

➥ user oh to have my relationship praised by danny ric

➥ user girl ur man responds to your texts two days late

➥ user DAMN u didn’t have to air out my business like thatttt

user WHAT DID SHE USE TO DRAW ON YOU OSCAR??? HELP A GIRL OUT

➥ oscarpiastri its liquid eyeliner 🫡

➥ oscarpiastri she used an eyeshadow palette when she wanted to add colors

➥ user why did i never think of that, she’s so smarttttt

user oscar piastri the MAN that u AREEEE

logansargeant so,,,,are we still getting dinner later orrrrr

➥ user LOL

➥ user omg y/n was right logan IS jealous

➥ logansargeant im not jealous !!!!

➥ user 💀

➥ user okayyyy….we believe you LMAOOOOO

➥ oscarpiastri ijbol 😂

➥ logansargeant stop using ijbol it’s not funny

➥ user this will be the only time that i say i agree with logan on something

➥ logansargeant ur literally a fan account FOR ME?? @/user

➥ user yeah man u didn’t have to bring that up 😒

taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz @vetteltea @tallrock35 @iloveyou3000morgan @smartstupyd @spideybv28 @loomiscorpse @hiireadstuff

© httpsserene2023

[idkwhatimdoingherehonestlyy]

Heyyy!!! Can you do something where earth42 miles is playing video game and your sitting in his lap or something like that🙏🏾 love your work btw😻

VIDEO GAMES - MILES 42

A/N: Hey bestie! Ty for the compliments :) and ofc I can!!

WARNING: I dont speak spanish so I will be using google translate, lol. However, if anyone is a translator and can help me out please do!

BE PREPARED FOR: FLUFFFFF, KISSING, IT MIGHT GET A LIL HEATED, LANGUAGE (USE OF THE N WORD, BUT ONLY 1 TIME LOL) , LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANY

Currently, you were laying down on your boyfriend Miles's bed while he sat in his chair playing his stupid game. Call of booty or whatever it was.

"Gotcho ass bitch, you owe me $40 nigga" Miles yells while laughing.

You sigh rolling your eyes. He invited you over here just to scream over his headset the whole time like I might as well go home then.

He spins around in his chair staring at you and his eyebrows clench together as he sees you frowning. "What's wrong ma?"

You scoff "Oh nothing it's just my dumbass boyfriend invited me over here just to give me no attention but no biggie!" Sarcasm laced in your tone.

He starts laughing again while he takes his headset off and manhandles you until you're in his lap.

You feel those special butterflies flying around in your stomach.

He starts kissing down your neck and you giggle as it starts to tickle

"Sigues enojado bebé?" He hums, your shirt muffling his voice a bit.

"What if I'll teach you how to play to make it up to you and we can play together" He proposes as he makes his finger crawl up your thigh and his lips never leave your neck.

You a blushing mess at this point.

"Ok" you giggle obviously flustered and turned on.

He puts his headset on top of your head as he turns the game back on, when he logged into the game he yells into the mic real quick, "Yall watch how ya talk my girls on here."

He spends the rest of the time holding his hands over yours and helping you kill all the people, you and him know you're not really doing much work, but it's too much of an intimate moment to ruin.

[chlix]

treatment resistant

bf! chan x fem! reader: he comforts you during a mental health episode

pairing: chan x reader

genre: ANGST like seriously, turns into comfort at the end tho 🙏🏾

word count: 4.7k

warnings: graphic depictions of depression, anxiety/anxiety attacks, and psychosis (paranoia); self worth issues; general self-loathing

a/n: i wrote this in one sitting about six months ago and deliberated posting it, but it's almost the end of the year so i feel like i should release it. i used to feel so validated by fics where reader is depressed and gets comforted, but she was never as depressed as i sometimes was, so i drew a bit from life for this one. everyone please be safe and read the warnings <3

It doesn't start with the dishes. In fact, you think your therapist might tell you that it's not about the dishes at all, but about your own poor self-image, or lack of emotional regulation, or about a thousand other things that are wrong with the way you perceive yourself and the world.

The truth is that lately you've been sleeping way too late and waking up too early, and you're so tired that you can't eat, which makes you so hungry that you can't take naps. You're between jobs and the outlook hasn't been great, your best friend keeps blowing you off in favor of her new boyfriend, and just this week you found out that your favorite bakery is no longer making the souffles that you've been using as a pick me up since you moved into this building.

You don't do well with change, or rejection, or honestly anything, lately. You wake up stressed and you go to sleep stressed. You keep your phone on Do Not Disturb because you can't bear receiving notifications. Just today you've talked yourself out of taking showers twice, only to have a meltdown when you tried to sit on your bed because you felt too dirty to touch your own sheets. You sit on the floor instead. You eat a singular banana for lunch, just to make your headache go away. Your headache does not go away. You feel both unreal and painfully solid, sinking into the ground and on the verge of floating away.

Your boyfriend, Chan, keeps texting you updates about his day, and answering them feels like an exercise in performance art. You scroll through your previous texts to make sure you're adding the right amount of exclamation points, that you're using the same recent emojis. It's like cosplaying a happier version of yourself. A better version, a version that he could love, as opposed to how you are now: greasy and gross and plastered to the floor in your hallway. The idea of him seeing you like this fills you terror, or at least it would if you hadn't burned out your capacity for feeling things already.

A new message pops up.

Chan: Hey baby ❤️ Was thinking of swinging by tonight after work? I can bring dinner with me

Just the thought of eating threatens to make you vomit. You suck in a breath and hold it as you type,

You: If you want something specific go for it! I already started cooking but we could have it another time

Chan: I don't want to waste all your hard work. We can have what you're making. I'm sure it'll be delicious :)

You: I can promise edible. Delicious is up in the air rn 😭

Chan: I have faith in you even if you don't ❤️. I'll be there around seven today

You: Okay! I love you sm, see you then! ❤️❤️❤️

You lock your phone and throw it across the room. Why do you do this to yourself? "Already started cooking?" You haven't showered today.  Normally you try to deter Chan from coming over when you're having a freakazoid episode, but now you've basically invited him in? You have to be normal for an entire evening?

You fall on your back on the ground and put your hands over your face, blocking out the sunshine that insists on steaming through the cracks in the drapes. Your heart is beating so hard you worry you're going into cardiac arrest.

Get off the fucking ground, y/n, you tell yourself. You have to go cook dinner for your boyfriend.

"There is something very wrong with me," you say out loud, very quietly. The silence of your apartment swallows the words. They vanish, as if never said.

You get up.

It takes you two tries to make something even passing as edible. Your head is all over the place, and you burn batches of oil and veggies before you manage to stay in your body long enough to finish making anything. It takes an embarrassing amount of pans and spoons and bowls to make something that should be simple, and as dishes pile up in the sink you feel stupider and stupider. Why are you acting like you don't know how to cook? It's not hard to make some vegetables in stew. You don't know why it's taking every appliance in your kitchen and all of your concentration to execute such a simple task.

By the time you're done cooking, you've stressed yourself out enough that you're getting a tension headache. You close your eyes and brace yourself against the sink, rallying yourself.

Just do these dishes and then you can sit down, you think. Just one more thing.

You pick up a sponge.

You put the sponge down.

There is no way you can do these dishes.

It doesn't so much hit you like a train as the realization slowly creeps up on you. It's not that many dishes, really. It looks like a lot, because the pots and bowls are so large, but numerically there's very few items in your sink. It wouldn't even take 30 minutes to clean everything and leave it in the rack for later.

But that's not happening. The idea fills you with a cold and genuine dread, just as strong and perverse as when you'd tried to shower earlier, or sit on your bed. You can't turn on the tap because then the water will touch you, and it will feel Wrong, and then your whole body will feel Wrong, and then you'll die of Sudden Onset Wrongness. And now that you think about it, a lot of your anxiety today has revolved around water, and isn't that a symptom of rabies? Hydrophobia? Did you get rabies somehow? Would you know if you had rabies? Maybe that's the thing that's wrong with you- you're not depressed or insane or just a terrible person living a terrible life. You're just rabid. There's something eating your brain, and that's what's making you into such a fucking failure of a person.

While you're debating the possibility of brain-eating viruses, Chan comes home from work. You automatically turn towards him, a bright smile on your face, and rush to greet him.

"Hey, Channie!" you say, bouncing over to him with a pep you do not feel. "I'm so happy you're here!"

And you are, mostly. You love your boyfriend, really you do. He's loving and attentive, and he's never made you feel like anything less than the number one priority in his life. You have similar values and work ethics, which keeps you on the same page through most difficult periods in either of your lives and careers. You haven't been together long, but your bond is solid, and you really believe you're going to make it far together.

You also really believe you won't if he ever finds out what a complete nutcase you are. So you hide it. You grin at him and you appear light and joyful and easygoing and you brush off his concerns with adages and placations, and you redirect the conversation back to him, because you're a good listener and you love the sound of his voice and you much prefer that activity to any activity that involves you explaining how you laid on the floor for five hours and had an emotional breakdown while slicing cabbage. He has other things to worry about, other problems to solve without adding yourself to the list. You're supposed to be his respite, not another draining task. He doesn't need to know how hard it's been lately. You shouldn't have to say it.

So he doesn't. And you don't.

"Hey baby," he says. He sets his stuff down and kisses you in greeting. "How was your day?"

"Okay," you say. The answer feels curt, but you don't want to ruminate any more on your absolutely fruitless afternoon.

Chan doesn't comment on your strange answer. He takes his shoes off and hangs up his coat, and as he's about to walk past you he spots the mountain of dishes in the kitchen.

"Oh, were you about to do the dishes? I can do them if you'd like."

"You just got home," you protest. "You should go sit down."

"But you've been standing just as long cooking dinner, right? I should do my part."

His insistence is making something terrible expand in your gut. Instead of being flattered at his offer to help, his words feel like a violent condemnation. You should've done the dishes before he got home. You should've finished cleaning the kitchen altogether, so that he can relax in a clean environment. What kind of stupid fucking girlfriend are you, where you can't even do basic chores around the house?

"No, it's okay. I already psyched myself up to do them, so I'll do them."

Chan hums in a tone that's either playful or mocking, you genuinely can't tell which. "Okay, if you say so. Don't be afraid to tap out if the dishes get the better of you."

Great. He thinks you're so stupid you couldn't do the dishes if you tried.

You subtly regulate your breathing as you turn towards the sink. Chan disappears into the apartment out of view, and you give yourself thirty seconds to push your freak-out as far down inside you as you can.

"You're not an idiot, y/n," you tell yourself. "You can do some fucking dishes."

You reach under the sink and pull out some disposable plastic gloves. They make your hands look weirdly swollen and unfamiliar, as if they aren't your hands anymore. For a bizarre moment, you're convinced that they're genuinely not, that someone else's hands have been put on your body. You close your eyes so hard sparks fly in front of you.

Stop being crazy. Do the fucking dishes.

You turn on the water and pick up a bowl.

Chan reappears. You flash him a smile, but say nothing. Chan grins back, all dimples and crescent eyes. He's so handsome it makes you want to rip your own skin off. You thank God every day that you were born beautiful, because you could never have caught his attention with your personality alone. He'd be completely out of your league, and honestly, maybe he still is.

That thought gets shut down and pushed away. One crisis at a time. You don't have hands and you might have rabies, but you definitely have a boyfriend who loves you. There's no point in kicking yourself while you're down.

You turn back to the sink.

You cannot do these fucking dishes.

"Work was funny today," Chan says as he moves over to the stove and opens the pot.

"Mm?"

"Just some technical issues in the studio. Nothing serious, but it gave us some good bloopers."

You pick up a glass cup. You can see your reflection mirrored back at you in the curve, and your eyes are so wide. Have they always been that wide? Are your eyes drier these days than they normally are? You can't tell, because every part of you feels both dehydrated and submerged under water.

"This is really good, babe," Chan says.

You blink. "What?"

Chan holds up his bowl. "The stew. It's great. I told you it would be delicious."

You let out a pleased sound. "Thank you baby. Your encouragement really motivated me."

It was the wrong thing to say. You have no idea how, but from the way Chan's expression changes slightly as he looks at you, you know he's caught on to you acting weird.

"Is everything alright?"

Shit.

"With me? Yeah, I guess so. I've just been really tired lately."

"On the job hunt?" he asks sympathetically. It's like a stake in your heart.

"As always."

He wraps an arm around you and presses a kiss to your hair. "Don't worry, baby. You're super qualified in your field. You'll find something soon."

You need him to stop touching you or you'll start throwing pans at the wall.

"I hope so," is all you say.

"I know so. Just keep faith."

You hum again, noncommittal. It's like you're slowly losing the ability to speak. And the gloves are too tight and the water is so loud and you're nauseous and your head still hurts and it's probably not even the stress, it's probably the rabies, it's turning your brain into swiss cheese as you speak.

After another tight squeeze, Chan lets you go and retrieves his bowl from where he'd set it down. You hope he might leave you to go eat in the living room, but instead he hovers on the opposite side of the island, and continues telling you about his day. Normally, you'd love to hear the play by play of every crazy thing that happened with his group members and managers. Today, it's like nails on a chalkboard. The story is endless, keeps weaving around other anecdotes and tangents and you wish he would just shut up for one second so you can pull yourself together but you can't say that, because he isn't doing anything wrong, you're just being crazy, you're a bad and lazy girlfriend and you can't even put your own issues on hold long enough to listen to your boyfriend talk about his day. Everything is wrong wrong wrong, and you're Wrong and something is Wrong With You and it just keeps going it never stopswhy can't it all just stop-

"Y/N?"

Your name sounds like it's coming from a thousand miles away.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

You turn to look at Chan, see his eyebrows pinched together in concern. You have no idea how long he's been saying your name.

Very calmly, you strip your gloves off and lay them to the side. You turn off the water.

"Sorry," you say. "Give me one moment, please."

You walk past him and down the hall to your bedroom, where you very calmly and gently close the door behind yourself. You climb on to your bed, filthy clothes and all, and pull two of the pillows from the end to rest on top of each other. You tie your hair back with a hair tie, press your face into the stack of pillows below you so that your whole face is covered.

And you just start screaming.

Screaming is therapeutic, apparently. Or at least, it's on the approved list of emotional regulation activities your therapist had given you. As long as you aren't screaming at anyone, it can be an effective form of release. It helps you release the tension from your core and focus that nervous energy into sound and action.

You scream into the pillow as loud as you can. You aren't sure how much it's doing to muffle your sound, but the belief that it's helping allows you to let go. It's tearing at your throat, the intensity of it. Once you start it's hard to stop, you just keep going and going and going, as if you're expelling demons.

When you finally peter out, you pause for a moment, then push yourself onto your knees. You're dizzy. Blood is rushing in your ears. It's oddly hard to breathe, as if you can't get enough air in your lungs. Even the fact of your own body is too much for you. You wish you could abandon it, just for a moment. You wish you could observe this from the outside so that you would better know how to fix it.

Eventually, your breaths calm. The buzzing recedes, leaving room for rational thought. And your chest feels....lighter. No longer is there a bomb sitting in your sternum, waiting to explode. The pressure has equalized. You look down at your hands, fisted in your bedsheets, and they look like your hands.

Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool.

You think you can probably do the dishes now.

Gingerly, you climb out of bed and make your way to the door. You open it, prepared to put your smile back on and apologize for your rude exit.

Chan is outside your door.

His eyes are wide with alarm. He looks stiff, hesitant. One of his hands is outstretched towards the door, as if about to knock.

Your face goes blank, wiring short-circuiting as you try to figure out what to say.

"Hey, y/n," Chan says, slow, testing. "Are you okay?"

Your script restarts, and a big smile automatically draws itself on your face. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that. I just got a little overwhelmed."

"Overwhelmed?"

"Yeah. It's fine, though. Come on, you can finish telling me your story."

You grab his hand and try to pull him away from the bedroom. He doesn't budge.

"Will you tell me what's going on?"

You turn back to look at him. "Nothing's going on."

"Baby, I understand if you don't want to talk to me about it yet. But you don't need to pretend there's nothing wrong. You don't need to lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

"I heard you screaming in there."

Ice flushes through your body.

"Ah. Well, it's like I said. I got a little overwhelmed. I'm not hurt or anything. Sorry if I worried you."

"A little overwhelmed?" He's getting frustrated now, put off by your blase tone. "You look like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown."

"No, I don't," you say, because you don't. You know what you look like when you get like this. You've trained your expressions so well that your face doesn't flush. Your eyes don't tear up. You have to look put together, because if you don't look put together then you can't convince yourself that you are put together.

"Y/n. I know you. I can tell when something's up." He sighs. "I've thought you were a bit distant for the past couple of weeks but I figured you would come to me eventually. But here we are, and you're having an anxiety attack right in front of me and you won't even admit it."

"I'm not having an anxiety attack."

"Love, I know what anxiety looks like. If you'd just let me help-"

"I'm not having an anxiety attack. I don't have anxiety. I would know if I did."

"Everyone has bad days and hard times, baby. You don't have to be defensive. I'm not accusing you of anything."

"You say you're not accusing me of anything after unilaterally diagnosing me with anxiety?"

Chan lets out a long breath. "That wasn't what I meant. I just mean-"

"You can't just assign me disorders when you decide I'm acting irrationally. You don't know my medical history. You don't even know me that well. You don't know if my behavior is normal or not."

"You can't be getting upset at me for 'not knowing you' when it's clear you're actively hiding things from me," Chan says, patience thinning. "I see you're in distress and you're picking apart my wording? I'm trying to help you."

"I didn't say I wanted your help."

"You're my partner! Of course I'm going to help you!"

"You can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because-" You choke on it and slam your lips shut.

Chan's face is drawn in irritation. He makes a go on gesture. But you can't go on. It's like the words are trapped in bubbling tar.

Your silence stretches. Chan sighs and drags a hand down his face in exhaustion. He'd gone out of his way to come visit you and now he regrets it. You've wasted his evening and ruined his mood. It's only a matter of time before he realizes you ruin everything. Hell realize he's drowning in all your mess and decide to save himself, and then you'll be alone again.

You draw in a breath of your own, but you're still lightheaded.

"Why did you invite me over if you didn't want me to see you like this?" he asks finally. "You don't have to see me every day if that's not what you want."

All the anger is gone from his voice. He's being so patient that your own stubbornness is acrid in comparison. You swallow, hard. Every muscle in your body is tense. You have the pull the words out of your throat with hooks, one syllable at a time.

"I wanted to see you," you explain, stilted and pathetic. "I thought I could pretend for long enough."

"Pretend what?"

That I'm not crazy. That I'm not falling apart. That I'm normal and easygoing and a joy to be around and definitely not rabid.

It's impossible to say. You don't know what's wrong with you, but you know that something is. You can't do the dishes. And you can't do this.

Your knees buckle and you sink to the floor of the hallway.

"Y/n?"

You don't respond. You're just staring straight ahead, all your thoughts whirring so fast that you're having trouble parsing any of them.

"Y/n? Hey, baby, sweetheart, can you look at me?"

You blink, and he's in front of you, on your level. He's trying to look calm but you can see the panic in his eyes. It only makes your chest tighter. You're dragging him down, you're cursing him. He needs to get out or you'll have his blood on your hands.

"We need to break up," you whisper.

Chan reels back like he's been slapped. "What?"

"We can't- we need to break up. I shouldn't have invited you over. I'm sorry."

"I..." Chan is at a loss for words. "You don't mean that."

But you do mean it. With everything in your body. "We can't be together."

"Baby, I don't know what you're thinking, but we don't have to break up if you don't want to. I don't want to break up."

You feel sick with his sureness. How can he claim to know you better than you know yourself?

"You don't get it," you say. Your tone is unnatural, words strange on your tongue. "We just can't be together."

"Can you tell me why you feel that way?"

"Just look at me."

"I am looking at you. And all I see is my beautiful, wonderful, perfect girlfriend who is having a very bad day and might be making some hasty decisions."

"Not a bad day. A bad life. I'm fucked up, Chan." The words come out with such a quiet malice that it shocks even yourself. "I can't even do the fucking dishes."

"I can do the dishes, love. I said it wasn't a big deal."

"No no no. It's not about the dishes." You're struggling to explain- the words are getting twisted, the thoughts all merge together- "I can't do anything. It's not about the fucking dishes. It's about- I can't-"

And you burst into tears

"I'm sorry," you say. "I'm really sorry. I just-"

"It's okay," he soothes. "It's okay. I understand now."

He doesn't. He can't, and you know that full well. You shake your head, vision blurring from your tears. You're so embarassed and it's making you cry worse. You think you must look so ugly right now. He must be repulsed by you. You're repulsed by yourself, your own misery making your skin crawl.

"Can I touch you, baby? I want to hold you."

You shouldn't. You'll infect him. You'll ruin him and take away everything that makes him good. Why is he even still talking to you? Why doesn't he leave?

"You don't have to-to feel obligated. I can just- if you give me a second-"

"I don't feel obligated," he says, patient but firm. "I love you. I want to hold you all the time."

Something in your chest cracks. You're so weak. It's pathetic. But you can't hold yourself back anymore.

"Please," you whisper, defeated.

Chan reaches out and pulls you into his arm. You're both still on the ground, but he rearranges you so you can hide your face in his shoulder, and you do, too humiliated by your tears to be able to look at his face. He presses a kiss to the top of your head and your traitorous body relaxes without your permission.

"You've been struggling for a long time haven't you?" he asks. "You didn't want me to pity you."

You don't say anything. You can't bear to.

"Well, I don't pity you. I think you're very strong, trying to deal with this on your own. You made me dinner today even though you didn't really want to, right? That was very kind of you to do. You take such good care of me, baby. You light up my life. Isn't it fair that I should get to take care of you too? Can't I return the favor by helping you now?"

"It's not the same," you mumble into his shirt, because the magnitude of the two asks isn't comparable. You chopped up some vegetables and threw them in a pot. He is witnessing you have a mental breakdown in your hallway. You're not equally yoked. It's too much to ask of anyone.

"Whether it's the same or not doesn't matter. Love isn't transactional. It doesn't have to be equal effort every single time. This isn't a favor I'm returning. I'm comforting you because you're upset, and I hate to see you cry. Do you believe me when I say I want to see you happy and smiling? That I would do anything to ensure it?"

You finally pull away from him, wiping away your tears on your sleeve. "You might have to go find a new girlfriend then," you say, voice cracking from the tears and the weight of your despair.

"I don't want a new girlfriend. I want you." He's hesitant, but he continues. "There are ways of getting help, you know. We can try some things, like therapy, or medication. I can help you. You don't have to feel this way all the time."

You shake your head. "I'm in therapy and on meds already. None of it really....works on me. I have fewer bad days than I used to but they still leave me like...like this. And they just drag on....it turns to weeks and months, and I can't....I can't do anything." You let out a shaky breath and make yourself stop talking. Even after all this, the urge to hold back is engrained in you. "You deserve better."

"I think I decide what I deserve," Chan says. "I know it's hard to open up about things like this, but what's worse than you being depressed is you hiding it from me. How can we work on this if you're pretending it's not real?"

"I wanted to be good for you. I wanted to be...to be easy."

Chan leans forward and cups your face in his hands. He looks you right in the eyes, and you see that they're glossy with their own unshed tears. "I don't need you to be easy. No one is. I just want you to be you. And I want you to let me be there for you. In everything. Including this. I want all of you. Do you think you can do that? Can you try?" He wipes away your tears with his thumb.

You swallow harshly. It goes against everything in you, everything you've taught yourself. Chan loves you. He wants to stay. Even though it may all crash and burn later, even though he might still turn on you or reject you or give up on you and declare this all a lost cause, right now he wants to stay. He believes in you. And you want to hold on to that belief as long as it lasts.

"Okay. I'll try."

A relieved smile stretches across his face.

"That's my girl," he says, and presses a kiss to your forehead. It makes something like pride settle in your chest, as if the part of you that cracked earlier might not stay jagged forever.

"Let's get off the floor, hmm? I feel like you might've spent enough time down here today."

You definitely hadn't mentioned that. Maybe he really does understand more than you'd thought possible. You don't know exactly how to feel about that, but you allow a bit of gratefulness to come through as he stands up on his own and reaches a hand down to pull you up. You wipe your eyes one last time, let out a breath, and take his hand.

[probablyintensemuses]

mike and marcus running to their friend reader after they’re wanted and her meeting armando for the first time, but to his surprise she can speak spanish after he tried to insult her by saying she might not be trust worthy in spanish 😚🙏🏾

a/n: Ha! I love this prompt so much, so here we go!! Also, I posted these pictures simply because I’m thirsty. You’re welcome.

A thunderous rapp against your door rung out through your apartment.

Immediately you shot up from your seat, grabbing the gun holstered underneath your coffee table.

You crept towards the door, your gun hiding at your hip as you looked through your peep hole.

To your surprise, it was Mike and Marcus.

You sighed, pushing your forehead against the door.

It had been a long few days since they’d been announced fugitives, the whole of Florida and the government hunting them down.

You slip your gun into the back of your pants and unlock your apartment door.

Quickly, Mike and Marcus pile in, smothering you with hugs.

“God, it’s so good to see you, girl.” Marcus says. “Now, where’s the snacks?”

You frown up your face, taking in their foul scents. “Enough about the snacks,’ you plug your nose, distorting your voice. “You need a shower first.”

“Exactly,’ Mike combed through your cabinet and pulled out a glass.

You fold your arms over your chest. “That goes for you too, Mr. Lowery.”

“Thanks,” Mike smiled, taking a swig of water. “We will, but there is just one more thing…” he trailed off, but before he could get a word out, your door flung open.

You whip out your gun, pointing it at whoever just walked through, for all you know, they could be dangerous.

“Whoa,’ Mike pushes off the counter, coming between you and the intruder. “This is my son, Armando.”

You lower your gun, his face suddenly registering in your brain. You remembered seeing him on the screen as wanted along side Mike and Marcus.

“I thought I told you to wait outside,’ Mike whispers.

“I didn’t want to leave you inside with her,’ Armando glares at you, taking in your slender frame and steel demeanor. “Ella podría ser peligrosa y una traidora.”

Mike nods. “She’s not, trust me.”

“Yeah,’ you chime in, brushing past Armando and shutting your door. You observe the new dent in your wall, thanks to his forceful opening of the door, and roll your eyes thinking about the security deposit you wouldn’t be getting back. “I’m not a traitor.”

“But I am dangerous,’ you glare at him and point to your damaged wall. “Entonces vas a pagar por eso?”

Armando’s eyes widen, then narrow as he glares at you. “¿tú hablas español?”

You nod, taking in his wretched scent as well. “Sí. ¿Crees que sólo porque soy negro no puedo hablar español?

Armando’s eyes fill with worry as he shakes his head. “no, yo solo—,”

You playful punch his firm bicep. “I’m kidding, but let’s finish the conversation on how I became fluent in Spanish later. For now, everyone, shower…please.” You gag.

Translations:

Ella podría ser peligrosa y una traidora. | “she could be dangerous and a traitor.”

Entonces vas a pagar por eso? | “so, are you going to pay for that?”

¿tú hablas español? | you can speak Spanish?

Sí. ¿Crees que sólo porque soy negro no puedo hablar español? | yes. You think because I’m black I can’t speak Spanish?

No, yo solo | no, i just—

[jealousmartini]

So I minishifted to my kpop idol dr last night and I'm loosing my mind

Lowkey still kinda freaking out about it because it's only just when the realisation settled in that I FUCKING SHIFTED. AND TWO OF MY FATTEST CRUSHES WERE STOOD RIGHT THERE. FUCK. OKay let me explain what happened before I IMPLODE!😆

So given how startled I was when I woke up in what i assume is my studio room? (It was a pretty cute studio and looked like it WOULD be mine🤭🤞🏾) I was only there for a good 2 minutes before freaking out and shifting back like the COWARD I AM, so I'll tell you everything that happened whilst I was there😁

Okay so first of all, I woke up in "my" studio right next to my group leader Mei and my other best friend on the other end and I was SO confused at the time because I was trying to figure out where I was. I didn't understand why I was in a different room but like at the same time it felt familiar.

But anyway, I felt so comfortable and warm and realised it was because I had a really soft blanket wrapped around my body, which I suspect was from one of my members?? Maybe?? and then Mei looked over at me and noticed I was awake, she was like "Youre finally awake Keesh" and rubbed my back so gently i could have fallen asleep right there and then again. It was like I got a taste of satisfaction for my touch starved self.

And GOSH her voice was so much more raspy than I thought it was going to be i was quite taken aback😭😭 and her face sculpted by Aphrodite herself kinda switched to a concerned expression when she saw me looking around the room frantically like I didn't know where I was, she asked me if everything was alright, and I couldn't even reply with my voice because I was so stunned so I nodded weakly with most unconvincing smile ever because I was still processing what the hell was going on.

Then suddenly, I heard like two worryingly familiar male voices coming close to the studio room we were in☹️☹️(internally i was like FUCK OFF I cant do this rn). My head literally snapped to the door when i heard it creek open and standing right there was the glorious man he is, Min Yoongi, leaning on the door frame (with long black hair btw) and the gorgeous man he is, Jimin, peaking his head through from behind the door😭😭 (I think i remember him being Blonde?). When I tell you my pulse picked up at a million miles per second. Seeing Yoongi and Jimin in the flesh is something else you guys. And to say Yoongi is intimidating is an UNDERSTATMENT☠️☠️ those two were so hot oh my GOD. I was lowkey panicking because I was NOT prepared to come face to face with AANYONE from my kpop dr nevermind BTS☠️☠️ even though i intended to shift there last night.

But anyway, i heard Yoongi ask my members ask if I was still asleep because my food was getting cold, and Mei said, "Oh yeah, yeah, she just woke up.." and Immediately placed my head back on the table and covered my face with the blanket, PRAYINGGG she'd think I fell back asleep WHICH SHE DID THANK GOD🙏🏾 and right before I woke up here I heard Jimin saying something like "you should wake her up before he eats it all??" He was giggling while he was saying that, too. And then I shifted back here.

OH AND LET ME NOT FORGET TO ADD, THIS ENTIRE DIALOGUE WAS IN KOREAN?? AND I UNDERSTOOD IT ALL.

This experience is actually one of my most scariest/exciting/crazy ones ever. Not even just because I shifted there, but because of what happened prior to the shift. Me and my best friend were yapping to each other about BTS, and we were talking about the signs we picked up on and then the realisation I came to. The moment me and my friend and I made this silly girl group as a joke, it seems that we created a butterfly effect in our reality. And now, whatever sign I get about BTS, "coincidentally," always links back to my girl group.

Anyway so yeah idk wether or not I want to shift back because LORD I CRAVE TO SEE THEM AGAIN but like I am so intimidated by Yoongi and even Jimin I might just freak out the next time I see them again😭😭 @livingmydreamlife5555 @samara444 @4ellieluv @theshifterbear

[marscantread7]

In honor of bhm, I'm gonna try to do smth stupid and silly

How the LIs would react to u cutting off ur locs😭💔

Js smth really short and stupid

Xavier

- He truly wouldn't gaf. He'd be a little confused bc u stayed preaching abt how u would never give into societal pressure and chop ur locs off, yet... here we r

- "Did societal pressure get to u?" "The impulse of change and becoming a new person did😍😍😍" okay buddy js say u didn't want locs anymore💀💀💀

- He's truly confused on why u cut them, bc he's walked in on u more than one time cradling a loc, shushing it like a baby

- "Uh-" "GET OUT👹👹👹" and the door is slammed shut

Sylus

- He wouldn't really care, but the twins would be all over u

- "Ur bald." "Very bald." "??? I still have hair, it's js really short???"

- When ur hair grows back, this fucking sap would help u style it bc ofc he did the fucking research on ts. He'd even give u the money to get ur hair braided when u didn't feel like doing it urself, eventually learning different styles himself so u won't have to go through all that trouble

- "Passion Twists r truly calling my name, but I'm not doing allat😒💔" "I could do it for u." "I'm fine w/ u styling my hair and practicing on it, but that's not the same as braiding/twisting my hair Sy." "Who said I haven't been practicing different braiding styles?" Cut to u crying ur eyes out bc never in ur life has anyone ever put in this much effort for u

Caleb

- He would pretend not to recognize u💀💀💀

- "Hey Caleb!" "Who r u?" "Dpwm, I'll fish my locs out the trash and whoop u w/ them" "???"

- He won't stfu abt the past

- "I remember when u first got them all those years ago. Ur smile was as radiant as the sun." "I'm starting to think u had more of an attachment to them than me😕"

Rafayel

- He would scream in agony, cradling ur bald head

- "MY BABIES WHY WOULD U DO THIS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭" "???"

- His dramatic ass would give u the silent treatment for a week before appearing w/ 10 different hair growth serums, and some hair products for "healthy black hair"

- "I did extensive research on this. I want baby locs in ur hair by next week." "I don't want locs again" "Do u hate me?" "???"

Zayne

- This freak bruh

- "U really took new year, new me srsly." "Zayne... it's July...." "😕"

- He'd be unphased by it, really. Although, once ur hair fully grew out and u complained abt styling it, he'd make snarky comments

- "Ugh! Why isn't it coming out the way I want it to???" "Wouldn't be having this issue if u kept ur locs😗😗😗" "I'll show u an issue when I shove my fist up ur ass"

--------------------------------------------------------

God, bring me my own Sylus cause I'm so sick of doing my own hair😭🙏🏾 Happy Black History Month to my fellow black lads players. Js smth really short and stupid I was thinking of. I might do one w/ matching bonnets, I'll have to think on it though. Have a great day evb😛😛😛

[myjealouseyes]

Fever Warm

HJP x wolfstar!daughter!reader.

A/N— baby fic is FINALLY posted and I feel kind of good about it suprisingly. One of the tots finally making an appearance in a fic. We used to pray for times like these 🙏🏾🙏🏾

No content warnings! Family fluff, overthinking, dad!harry (swoon!!)

“Estrella…” you hum to your newborn softly, failing to keep the exhaustion out of your voice. “C’mon, baby. It’s bedtime…”

your baby doesn’t take as well to your gentleness as you hoped. Her cries seemed to get louder as you rock her a little more firmly. You’d tried everything. She wasn’t hungry, and she wasn’t tired. You tried changing the blankets in her crib and even changing her into a lighter onesie, thinking she might be hot. ‘Is she hot?’ You press your hand to her cheek gently. She does feel warm. But is it a good warm? Because you wouldn’t want her to be freezing. Should you get the thermometer? That’ll make her cry even more but at least you’ll know for sure if it’s a fever—

You zone out in your worrying, not even noticing when Harry walks into the nursery. You’re still rocking Estrella on autopilot as he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist.

“She’s still crying?” He presses his chin in the crook of your neck, cooing at the baby. “Poor girl. Must be exhausted.” You only nod as you turn toward him and hand her off gently. “Does she feel warm to you? Like fever warm? Looking for a second opinion before getting the thermometer.” Harry furrows his eyebrows as he lightly touches her skin like you did earlier. “Don’t think so babe. Feels normal to me.”

Your face scrunches up as you look down at your baby. What could be making her so uncomfortable then? “Are you sure? ‘cause I’ve tried everything, and I do mean everything.” You wring your hands anxiously, mentally going through your list again. Maybe Harry is right and she doesn’t have a fever, but it never hurt to be cautious—

“She’s just wet, darling.”

You pause and swing your head back toward Harry, who’s already laying her out for a change. All the worries leave your head as you look on dumbfoundedly. You had thought to change blankets and onesies, thought of a million and one ways to get her to nurse, sang several lullabies in English and French, but somehow never considered a soiled diaper? Absolutely ridiculous.

Harry coos at you once Estrella is settled and comfortable on his shoulder. Logically you know it’s not meant to be patronizing in any way, but with the way your brain is muddled with lingering exhaustion, self-doubt, and embarrassment, you can’t help but take it that way. Lovingly, he pushes you down into the rocking chair in the corner of the nursery. He makes sure his grip on Estrella is firm and steady before kissing your forehead. “You’re just fried. That’s normal, all the books say so.” His words come out swimming in sugar. It makes your heart flutter. “I’ll handle putdown tonight. Go lay down and if you’re not asleep by time I get done we’ll have a bath. ‘Kay?”

You don’t have it in you to disagree, giving him a slow nod as love leaks through your pores. You stand up and walk to bed. Only pausing briefly to watch him tuck her in and kiss her forehead. Every time you think you couldn’t possibly love Harry any more than you do at present, he takes two seconds out of his day to unknowingly prove you wrong. It’s one of those things he’s really good at; making you fall deeper and deeper until you’re drowning in your absolute fondness of him.

Once you can come up for air, you take his advice and ease yourself into bed. You don’t let yourself fall asleep though. A bath sounded really nice.

[hyacinthleaves]

can we get some more Eva content pleasee?? (Papa ME WANT MORE MOVIE 😭🙏🏾!!) it doesn’t matter what genre it is, I just want some more Eva bcs that’s wifey (and I’m pretty sure I read everything in the Eva x reader tag 💔)

You're getting sleep hcs

Eva Tsunaka:

I feel like Eva has a great sleep schedule and she sticks to it

You don't want to see her sleep deprived (though I feel like she did have an era where it seemed like she would barely sleep...it took her a bit to figure that out) it's not pretty

She's wearing an oversized long sleeve shirt with shorts that definitely weren't bought together but just happen to match anyway

I feel like on some nights she actually prefers to not cuddle

She doesn't have a clear reason for this but it's probably just cuz she's not feeling it. The vibe has to be there

I feel like she enjoys pondering a lot before she actually falls asleep and she doesn't want to voice those thoughts anyway, so it might just be awkward on those really closed off nights

Anyway, on the nights that she is up to any contact, Eva's preference is something along the lines of:

Her laying down on her stomach with you clinging to her side. Her arm would drape over you lazily and any other contact that happens is on your part. Example:

I feel like she snores lightly

And I feel like she actually wakes up due to nightmares a lot. She'll try not to wake you up and if you do she'll just tell you to go back to sleep

You rarely hear about the contents of the nightmares because she doesn't think that sharing them changes anything

Subconsciously it's because she wants you to worry about her

On normal days, I like to believe that she wakes up pretty early but she'll let you sleep in if she knows that you want to

There's nothing really wrong with her besides the nightmare situation, 9/10

[yumenoyousei]

I asked for a commission of my DC OC Shay from @jnephrite and look at my girl!! 😭 She so pretty I can't even😭😭😭 Always loved @jnephrite art so seeing Shay in hers is a blessing 🙏🏾

And since the fic is almost halfway through posting, I thought, might as well introduce Shay properly! EDIT: the fic, Awaking in Gotham, is now completed!

EDIT: More art of Shay + art of a scene from fic

Full name: Shay Michelle Frank (♀) Occupation: Graphic Designer / YouTuber Height: 5'9"  Birthday: September 16th  ☀Virgo 🌙Aries ⬆Aquarius Proud African American/Haitian & Gothamite  Hobbies: Poetry, Arts, Rap/R&B music, help the Gotham North Community Center, Discover new artists (both musically and visual arts)

Shay was born and raised in Gotham, close to the infamous Crime Alley, by her maternal grandmother, Marie-Monique "Manmi Mo" Antoine, and with her 3 years older brother Zachary "Zee" Frank. Her mother died of childbirth (she had had complications with Zee which was why she was hospitalized when pregnant with Shay) so her whole family distrusted the American health system. This is why when her grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, they didn't go to the hospital and only went to the illegal clinic. (Also; money.) Her father is unknown. 

Ever since young, she went to the Gotham North Community Center, mostly run by the Black and Latinx communities of the Crime Alley neighbourhood. Her grandmother would teach the children about mostly Black literature but also all sorts of arts which is why Shay is such a creative person. That's also where she met Jason Todd for the first time when she was around 4-5.

Her brother very early on started to "run the streets" and started to hang out with bad crews, but always had his heart on his sleeves. He just couldn't find other ways to get money to make sure Shay had the right education/a chance away from crime.

Her grandma died when she was almost 17 and her brother died not even 4 weeks later (2 weeks after her 17th birthday) because of a dispute between gangs. (Allegedly) 

After her grandma and Zee died, she went to live in Metropolis with her second-degree cousin, Jennifer Antoine, until she graduated from university. Even when in Metropolis, she would go as much as she could back to Gotham to see her people/help the center.

She started a YouTube channel talking about Gotham's art and musical scene to change people's persepective of Gotham after too many people at Metropolis U "pitied" her for being a Gothamite. 

As soon as she was about to graduate, she applied to work at Wayne Entreprise back in Gotham. She got a job as a graphic designer and moved back to her city.

At the start of the fic, "Awaking in Gotham", she is 22 and has been working at WE for almost a year.

Read more about Shay (and her love story with Jason) on AO3! (Trying to update every week!)

Random notes about Shay:

As I wrote in the fic's notes, the first reason for creating Shay was: who the fuck would stay in Gotham that isn't a criminal and/or a vigilante??

So I created a black girl who loves her community and sees all it could be while being very conscious of what it is and its dangers. Then I went, hey! she'd be good with Jason while I was starting my Jason Todd Thirst so obv my fic turned into romance. lol

The name comes from Belgian rapper Shay, Montreal-based singer Shay Lia, and Haitian Montreal-based singer Shah Frank. As I was creating Shay I was obsessed with all three of them and the name Shay Frank wouldn't leave me.

Ngl, I gave a lot of me to Shay; like her Haitian roots and GAD but very quickly she went her own way and grew in this character I'm proud of. I'd like to say I also gave her my music taste but she is way more into hip-hop than me and she rejects most of my pop playlists (sadly).

Because Shay was based on me, all her entourage I created is based on people in my rl. lol

I also absolutely wanted her to be friends with Bernard because I absolutely love Bernard (and Bat SO who are civilians? Tim and Jason bonding over the fact their SO are the only civilians in the Batfam?! So many fun things to do!!)

Zee is also a character that I love, based on one of my favourite cousins, and I got lowkey mad at myself halfway through that he was dead. So I have an AU where he didn't die in my head lol 

I'd like to write a oneshot of it when I'm done with this fic.

Last fun fact about Shay that I wasn't able to put in fic yet: all the rogues annoy her (mostly because they cause mayhem that cancel events) but she madly respects Poison Ivy because of her convictions and: "is she wrong tho?" 

I have a lot of other small notes about Shay and the Shay-verse but I'll post the rest when the fic is completed!

EDIT 2024-10-04: I completely forgot to add the link to the post fic notes! So if you read Awaking in Gotham do check those other notes!

[hsrlanedefencesquad]

Y'all HSR is so good, like I don't think y'all understand. I genuinely think no one loves it as much as me

I love all the LIs, even though I might not romance them all right now, every single one of them are so beautiful physically, it's crazy....I never thought any other author could out-pretty remy's LIs lol (I think the only gripe I'd have with it, is Anna is the only single female LI....& now this addition of Abel as a male LI when we already had Boris & several male LIs, idk it seems too much. Like give the wlw players one more female LI, please aleksandra 🙏🏾🙏🏾)

Other than that, everything is perfect....my main route - I'm romancing cain, the 2nd slot goes to dmitry (he is honestly not talked about enough, he ate this update up!!!) I would rant about how much I love these two but this post would turn into an essay & I still have a lot to talk about

3rd slot goes to Greg!!! Definitely!!! Hello??? he would have honestly been my main LI if Cain didn't exist (curse me and being drawn to mysterious fucked up men 😭)

First of all, no shade to other rc black men, but I want to say a big THANK YOU to Aleksandra for not making him the typical grumpy or brooding rc black man (no, like what's up with that?, Although cassiel is my main LI in ABH, he gets a pass sorry 😭) I feel like only greg & that one guy in 7b are happy sunlight vibes black men in the whole of rc...

That and she made him so physically HOT without the addition of ridiculous european eye colours (evthys swenett jumpscare & luc- *gunshots*) & he doesn't have that oh so annoying grey undertone? (cassiel once again you get a pass) like Greg is the embodiment of a ray of sunshine. Which is also good because Sasha didn't just relegate him to some goofy black side character, no I'm actually impressed he was the main general or whatever, after dmitry & he actually has an emotional back story with his sister (I feel like his romance route will be so emotionally hard because it will be one of the major factors that will force lane to feel conflicted between humanity & her dark side) heartbreak & tears are coming, I fear

Overall the book is just SO GOOD, it deadass feels like I'm watching a horror movie or sometimes like I'm with the characters seeing everything happening to them from afar, it's so immersive....sometimes cozy AF, NGL I hope they don't move away from their snowy/dead climate background in coming seasons. I think that's a major contribution to the way the story gets players to feel

The writing is amazing for a new author, man I don't want HSR to end but I am absolutely seated for the next work from this author

[itzmnne-3-111]

Tears & Kisses♡

(daddy’s home 😋)

You and your husbands first ‘real’ fight!

“No what I don’t understand is why you came home smelling like some other bitch!” You yelled as your husband came back from the store.

You and Simon rarely fought, yeah there’s tiny arguments about where this goes and why some girl was looking at him or you funny but it never truly got heated but when he came back from the store and he smelt like perfume and roses you knew something was up…..Or did you?

“Love js’ listen It’s not what you think-“ Simon tried to explain as he put the bags down on the floor and took a step closer to you. All he saw was your hand in his face as you put a hand on your hip and started to speak “I ask you to go out and get me somethin’ while I make you dinner. And you come back smelling like some bitch from the suburbs. What she look like?” You said as you pushed past him and went to grab your car keys but you were blocked by his arm. “Just lemme talk love, please” he said and gently put his hand on your shoulder. You looked up at him one eyebrow cocked as you crossed your arms “hurry up cause I don’t got all day” you said your voice annoyed and cold. You heard your husband sigh then he slowly put his hands down. “Alright.. was just walkn’ through the mall jus like ya told me. Then went into that store ya fond’ over, Poolta? Bulta?..”

“Ulta” you interrupted “yeh’ tha.” He said then took another breath “went to get you some make up the..shit you put on your lips yeah? Then some broad walk n’ fronta me n started sprayin her body with some shit shot all over me” he said as he looked at you softly, hoping you’d listen to him he was about to speak again before you sucked your teeth and slammed your keys on the table “you lucky cause I woulda whooped yours and her ass” you said then sighed as you put one hand on your hip and the other on your head as you shook it slowly “thank you lovie” he said softly as he came a bit closer. You looked up at him “you wanna..go get somethin to eat? We can go to that English place you like?” You stammered as you tried to figure out a way to apologize without physically saying sorry. You felt a pair of chapped lips kiss your cheek then forehead as he pulled you into him slowly “Nah jus wanna cuddle t’nite” he said as he lifted you up and took you upstairs to your shared bedroom “You better wash that damn shirt though” he chuckled as he kissed your neck and cheek as he held onto your in the bed “corse I will, n’ you can cover me in your perfume” he said as you two fell asleep together ♡

-Bonus!-

Simon groaned as he smelt a sweetish sent coming from downstairs. He slowly walked to see you in his shirt and some shorts as you made another piece of beans on toast “love? What you doin?” He said as he walked up behind you to give ya a little hug “It goes against everything my mama done taught me but..I wanna make you happy cause..I might have did you wrong last night..” you said and handed him the plate. “You’re so sweet love, makin yer’ husban’ happy yeah?” He said then took a bite “even burnt the toast a little cause I know how you like your food n shit..” you said and patted your bonnet before you felt saucy lips press against your cheek “Aww Simon you got bean juice on my face!” You said and wiped your cheek as he laughed “Love you too hun”

(If you didn’t notice I dunno how to like write his accent the way I want but imma learn 😭🙏🏾)

[perrywrites]

just a funny thought i had 😭 🙏🏾

[Y/N]: i just read this article about birthmarks and it says they’re marks of where your lover from another life kissed you a lot but neither of us have any so i guess we were both single in our past life lol

Shidou: You have them!

[Y/N]: Forreal? Huh, I never noticed-

Shidou: Yeah, you’ve got hellas, like, one on your ankle, your inner thigh, your right asscheek, under your chest and your back!

[Y/N]: .

Shidou: Your past lover must’ve been some kinda medieval perv lmao

“YEAH, you mean LIKE YOU?!” 

You were glaring at him, an angry pout on your flushed face - you’ve never felt as embarrassed in your entire life as you do right now. Sure, you guys are lovers, yes. Fuck each other? Very much so, eagerly, yes, indeed. 

But, to know he’s been looking hard enough to… catch all of those details… 

Your ears burn up harshly, like angry metal ready for melding. Never letting him have a go at you with doggy style ever again!

“Awwh, are you implying I was your lover even in a past life? How romantic, sweetheart, didn’t know you were that sentimental.” Utterly unfazed, his shit-eating grin remains untouchable and undefeatable. 

“You skunk ass jackass, what I’m saying is, the two of you are the same brand of mediaeval pervert,” you snap, before huffing and sighing deeply. Alright, maybe you’ll relent on this point. “... Or I guess you’re the same person,” you grumble, voice almost as low as a whisper, begrudging. 

You glance at him, hoping to catch some sort of interesting expression on his face - but all you notice is his shit-eating grin widening and a familiar teasing glint edging itself into his eyes. “Awwh, that’s cute and all darling, but if it had been me, I wouldn’t have been so picky.” Shoulders relaxed, hands in pocket, he strolls over to you, eyes turning further mischievous with each step. “If it were me, I would’ve had your whole body covered in moles, marks of my love for you covering every inch of your skin…” His voice lowers, the raspy hint of it making you shiver as he loosely fingers a lock of your hair. 

The blush on your face rages ever so vivaciously, for a different reason now, as your heart pounds like it was in the palm of his hands - because it is. Your heart is definitely in the palm of this volatile romantic, a man that at times turns you blasphemous, manages to convince you that you’re divine - your very own Rasputin. 

Shidou Ryusei will either be your salvation or your damnation, you decide. 

Maybe even both. 

“... I suppose in my next life I might as well just be a huge mole because of you,” you murmur, an attempt to conceal how flustered you feel as you cowardly avert your eyes. 

He laughs, loud and bright, his hand discarding the lock of your hair to cup your cheek - and you find yourself within his grasps as he looks down at you fondly, his eyes creased with a huge smile. “Well, either way it makes no difference to me. You have my claim on you now. Giant mole rat or not, I’ll find you and keep making you mine.” 

Your cheeks are a living fireplace at this point. “B-by the way, I meant the mole as in beauty mark, not the other mole…” Excuses excuses, distractions, why can’t you ever just be honest in the face of his flirting? It’s not like he even believes in past or future lives, he’s told you as much. You know he’s playing with you. 

“Giant mole rats are a funner interpretation, I like that better though, so I’ll stick with that,” he loosely asserts, before he pulls you in closer - hand still on your cheek. Clearly, he’s bored of this conversation now, because he’s not looking into your eyes anymore and just your lips. 

“What do you say I one-up your past lover right now, huh sweetcheeks?” He smiles against your lips, so close to kissing you… What a tease. “Well, you don’t need to answer, it’s a rhetorical question.” 

“No doggy-style this time,” you grumble against his lips, and he laughs right into your mouth. 

Rude, perverted bastard. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cutie ma’amz you really had such a funny ask 😭😭😭 the laugh I sputtered out when I first read that. This was really fun to write lolol, thank you for the fun request! I hope you enjoy this mini narrative, it ended up being less comedic and spicier than it was in my head though DHFJHGSFJHSGDF

[respectmyfrench]

Hello! Sorry the food knocked me out lmao.

So. Miss Fudd got 18 points. Paige got 29. This duo 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ I told y'all. Whew. This will be a fun season.

I was impressed with the first half of the Baha Mar championship. That needs to be a consistent thing. Started off strong and discombobulated the Old Miss defense. They were stunned. It started to unravel a bit in the second half. They almost blew a 21 point lead which cannot happen against higher ranked opponents.

Sarah is so good. Like really good. I'm so happy at how quickly she's acclimating to the team. Literally her last name. STRONG.

Jana is a really good center. She's technically still a freshman so people need to give her a break. She has real potential to be a star. I can't wait to see her develop more.

KK and Ash both had 16 mins in the game and both got 2s in their stats. Kk with the angel numbers 2-2-2 and Ash with 2 pts and 2 rebs. A bit of a slower night for Ash but with each team they play against, a different need will require different asks so I'm not worried about. KK got looks good on defense. It's starting to look like she's a pass first guard now which is interesting and I'll dive into that another time.

We had some nice assists from Kaitlyn and good rebounds from Ice. People love ti hate on Ice but she's not bad guys lol.

I didn't like the refs, I didn't like the environment, I didn't like the braodcast, I hate Flohoops. Lol ummm yeah the people wiping the floors were slacking and everyone was slipping on sweat which I hated because everyone literally just recovered from injury 😭😭 I was paranoid watching everyone drop.

To dive deeper on Azzi's highest scoring game since she came back, I saw some quick release shots that reminded me of old Azzi. That shooting form🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️. She made some really good plays too. She even broke someone's ankles a lil 👀🙂‍↔️ lol. Ole Miss was on a 15-0 run but Azzi hit a crazy 3 and shut that down REAL QUICK. Also also mentioned that her knee feels great and she feels more flexible already which is amazing.

I didn't talk too much in Paige because yall know how great she is already lmao. Paige doing Paige things. We gotta work on those turnovers but when you're shooting like that, I might let a couple slide lol.

If you know me, you already know who I missed dearly in this game. I love all the girls on the team & as l much as I speak on Azzi, my first fav is Aubrey. We're form the same state, play the same position, I'm very biased on her sorry😂.If Aubrey was in this game, I'm positive this game would have been like 90-64. Her impact on defense is missed. Her and Sarah on the court together will be MAGIC. Her basketball IQ🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾. Her speed🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾I can't wait until she's back🙏🏾

Y'all can rewatch the game below from this youtuber i found🙂‍↕️

[kneelingshadowsalome]

This is my third time in your inbox, I'm so sorry 💀💀

Can we get more insight on Konigs childhood? You mentioned abuse from his father. What exactly did he do to Konig and his mother? Why did he cut his face up? Why did his mother not leave him? Where are his parents now? Was his childhood the reason he joined the military? Will he fully open up to the reader abt it?

Ty for tolerating me 😭🙏🏾

Please. My inbox is always, always open and I love these questions! (Like... someone wants to hear my ramblings about mentally unstable, fictional men?? You are godsend, my friend 💖)

Thoughts on König's childhood:

CW/TW: emotional, verbal & physical abuse, talk of personality disorders (by someone who is not a psychologist lmao), aggravated assault/murder, self-hate

So, I wrote König as a sociopath (otherwise known as antisocial personality disorder) with borderline pd. He's also neurodivergent (prob. ADHD). Now I don't know shit about these things but I tried my best to do some research on different pds and neurodiversity and thought this potpourri might fit well in König's character profile.

Unlike psychopaths, sociopaths are made, not born. So his dad had a definite hand in creating one out of König. He thought his only son (K is an only child in my canon) was a freak because he was bigger than "normal" kids, tall and lithe and on top of everything else, behaved oddly. König was bullied at school which made him even more asocial and anxious, which in turn made his dad project his own insecurities onto König even more. He needed to imprint it on König that he's a freak by cutting him.

There was a strict routine and order in his childhood home: dinner was to be served at 6'o clock sharp, every piece of clothing had to be pedantically ironed, no tv past seven, etc. Any misstep on these rules and there would be violence, mainly verbal and emotional but at times, physical too. König's mother was never enough, nothing she did was ever enough. König for sure did everything wrong by simply existing. For a boy of his size, he learned to become surprisingly invisible at a very young age.

Sometime during his teenage years, he started to have enough. He started to rebel, learned how to walk tall and straight, started to jog and train inside his room, do 100 pushups every morning. The idea of joining the army was born during these times as well, and becoming a sniper was soon König's biggest dream.

He enjoyed when his schoolmates, even some of the teachers, began to fear him (if you cannot be loved, better be feared than ridiculed). He was the odd, silent, big freak who was only getting odder, bigger and more silent every day. People at school literally feared the day König would arrive at class with a gun.

His father started to cut him even more when he began to show signs of independence and grit. At some point König realized he could easily beat his own dad if he wanted to. At 15 he started to go to the gym, and a year after, when he saw his father yell at his mom about something utterly insignificant, he finally snapped, took a simple kitchen knife and drove it to daddy's ribs (16 times).

His mother had a tiny mental breakdown after that. She didn't want her child to get into trouble, but seeing such a violent murder was the last straw for a woman who had tried to keep the peace by playing by this crazy tyrant's rules. The reason she hadn't left was because she feared he might kill them both. (Also the breakdown was far more severe than the one reader had after the break room incident, and it def. brought back some not so fond memories)

König got the minimum penalty for the crime because he was a juvenile offender. His mother forgave her child quite soon and deemed that her husband was evil and that König did the right thing for freeing them from such a man.

Things got better after that, but his mother was forever damaged from everything that had happened. She began to blame herself for not divorcing her husband sooner, for then he would still be alive and König wouldn't have suffered so much in his hands. One of the reasons König started to wear the hood was because he didn't want to remind his mother of what had been done to him. Instead, the mask only caused her only more pain. She started to avoid her own child, even fear him, feeding into König's insecurities and anxiety even more.

When König finally joined the army at the age of 17, it was to get away from home and pursue his dreams to become a sniper. He thought it might be best for his mother, too, if he wasn't around the house to remind her what had gone down and how her only child was not only a monster, but a murderer, too.

König's childhood is so filled with trauma that he has pretty much distanced himself from it. The geographical distance helps too, and he's not keen on taking reader on a vacation to Austria, for example. But he will open up about his past if and when he sees it's safe to do so. Sadly enough, the thing that bugs him the most about it is he fears he might look weak in reader's eyes. He's been in a survival mode for so long that he doesn't quite understand that he was a child at the time, and should've received love and care.

Btw I totally got inspired by @random-thot-generator 's gospel truth on how König's first kill was his own father! Also the Conan t-shirt as his (first) mask is my canon now