#water mom au

[minijenn]

The way I would write an entire Water Mom AU fic and make it soft and fluffy as hell if only I didn't work a full time job and could just sit in front of my computer all day crying over that fucking blue alien and her adopted son I swear to god

[starry-bi-sky]

Clone^2 Damian

If you really think about, Damian's situation in the clone^2 au is... kinda tragic? Especially in the early months of his arrival. Like,,, think about it. Damian has always known he was a clone of Damian Wayne, that he was a copy of the blood son. There was nothing 'original' about him, not even his name (of which at least Danny has that). He was just... a replacement. A disposable one, to boot.

And he knew that, to an extent, by the time he was six years old. he might not have been actively acknowledging it -- he's six years old -- but deep down he knew. And like, he's six years old. Every small child craves the love and affection of an adult, especially their parents, and even though he knew he was clone, I imagine he still considered - and still does consider, somewhat - Talia and Bruce as his mother and father. And I really doubt he was... getting it?

Now, I know Talia loves Damian, her son. At least in some interpretations she does, and in this au she does. But... a clone of her son? I'm not so certain if she would have the same affection for baby Dames as she would for Damian. I don't think she would treat him badly, but I don't think Talia would treat him warmly either. Kinda just, distant. Colder than she would have been with OG Damian.

And, I know I've mentioned Damian's arrival from Danny's point of view, and its kind of comical kind of insane from his perspective -- a little boy clone of Damian Wayne falls through a portal and immediately attacks him. That sounds like a bad joke.

But, if you think of this from Damian's point of view? It's like he just got dropped into a scary movie. Like, think about it. You're six years old, and suddenly a portal, as green and as swirling as your grandfather's pools, opens up beneath your feet and sucks you through.

After an intense bout of vertigo, you end up in a massive, urban city -- completely different from the rural mountain palace that you lived in for the last six years of your life, and in this city, you don't know any of the language. You don't know what anyone is saying, you can't read any of the signs - you are completely stranded, away from home.

And then, to make things worse, you're facing a figure with a terrifying mask and eyes as burning green as the portal you fell through. Of course Damian's first instinct, six years old, is to attack. He's terrified.

And this figure, he's not a good fighter, but he's fast, and he dodges you quickly. He grabs your sword with his hands, and tries to restrain you, saying something in a language you don't know. Naturally, Damian is just scared. He's six! He'd just be learning how to read if he was normal child going to school.

This figure halfway through the fight yanks off his mask -- he realizes you're scared -- and looking at you now, is a youthful version of your father. This is a clone of your dad, someone you have never met but, six years old, still wants to. Damian gets defensive. This is an imposter.

But this imposter eventually gets you home with him - and he's using his little box, his phone, to communicate with you through a mechanical voice speaking in arabic. and it's frustrating. The boy, the imposter, can say whatever to you just fine, but trying to talk back is a hassle and a half. He's six, he doesn't have that much patience.

He wants to go home.

And so he keeps trying to run away. He keeps trying to find out of this hellish concrete jungle, and he keeps getting lost. It's loud, and busy, and there are people talking to you and you don't understand them, and there are rules and signs you don't understand - Damian tries to cross the street and nearly gets hit by a car. He doesn't know how the road signs work, he was never taught. They didn't get to that.

And he gets lost. And it gets dark, and Damian is brave, but he is six, and this is the worst stress he's been under in all his six years of life. He wants, desperately more than anything, to go home. Why wouldn't he? The only stable... semi-stable environment he was in just got ripped out from under his feet, literally! He wants his mother.

And it's not happening.

But there's something good to be said, at least. The imposter that looks like his father always comes and finds him, no matter what. He could have left that morning, and he will find Damian at midnight, frazzled and worried, and carrying an extra jacket with him because it is cold in Amity Park and Damian is six years old.

And sometimes Damian attacks him - he's scared and stressed and he doesn't want to be here. And every time he catches the sword. Even though Damian can see it cut into his hand and pearls of blood well up and stains his fingers. Even though Damian can see him wince in pain and bite his lip, he still catches it.

But with that little box, he coaxes Damian to come back with him. It's cold, it's dark, Amity Park is unsafe at night. They can figure something out tomorrow, please. And every time, he agrees, reluctantly. And the imposter takes the extra jacket he brought with -- a flannel, a hoodie, a jacket -- and he wraps it around him. It's warm, Damian's clothes are not that thick, and even though he thinks he might hate this imposter, he still sticks close to his legs as he leads him down the street.

And sometimes the imposter carries him, because Damian's shoes are not that thick, and he cuts his foot on broken glass while they're walking home. The imposter sits in the bathroom with him and carefully cleans the cut out, and makes sure it doesn't get infected.

There's hope you know, he still has it. His mother will be looking for him. She'll be worried. He's important to them. Damian may not be the original, but he is still a blood son. He is still her son. She will come find him. This nightmare will end soon. He can go home.

And then weeks pass, and nothing. Then months, and nothing. His family is not coming for him, and it hurts. Hurts more than anything. And yet while that happens, the boy he's attacked, and hurt, teaches himself arabic in order to speak to him. He takes Damian out of the house one afternoon and buys him new clothes, or tries to. And then he keeps buying him new clothes. He gives him blankets and gives up his bed to him until they can get him one himself, and steadily he teaches Damian english.

This boy is kind. Kinder than Damian's ever experienced, and he doesn't know what to do with it. He's devastated by the fact that he is not as important to his family as his family is to him. What do you do when you're six years old and you learn something like that? When a random stranger who looks like your father is kinder to you, and cares more about you than your family did?

And then Damian tells him he's a clone. He's Damian Wayne's clone, and he tells him his purpose - that their grandfather made him to kill him. And the boy, the imposter, Damian thinks he probably already knows that he's a clone. But he doesn't say that. He just nods, and asks him if he wants to tell his original about him.

Damian says no. He doesn't want to. He's tired of living in the shadow of his original. He wants to keep this to himself. This is his. For once, all of this is his.

And to his surprise, the imposter doesn't try and convince him otherwise. He just nods, and says okay. And when Damian asks why, the imposter - his brother - looks at him and says.

"I don't care about Damian Wayne. I care about you." And in Damian's gobsmacked silence, his brother continues. He tells him that if Damian doesn't want to tell his original that he exists, then they don't need to. They don't need to worry about the LoA going after him, because clearly if his 'grandfather' needs to make a clone of Damian in order to take him out, then whatever it was that Damian Wayne was doing to keep himself safe, was working.

"Wayne already has people in his corner, he's got Gotham's army of vigilantes to keep himself safe." his brother says with his eyes as blue as moonlight. "You, however. Do not." And he continues, and says that if Damian Wayne has the same training as Damian does, then he will be fine. He doesn't need to be aware of his clone. Because if DW doesn't know about Damian, then the LoA doesn't either.

And here's the thing. Damian would not have survived in the LoA for long. Not as a clone. No matter what, he was going to die no matter what he did, and sooner rather than later. The sword of Damocles was always hanging above his head in the League of Assassins.

That portal, and meeting Danny, saved his life. There's no way around it. And to an extent Damian knows this even at six years old. He may not be aware that he would've died, but he knows that meeting Danny was the best thing to happen to him.

It's no wonder after that, that Damian is as clingy to Danny as he is. Danny is the first person he's met to offer him unconditional love, with no strings attached, only pure affection.

[cygnus-is-tired]

So I’ve been lurking in the gravity falls tags for a bit and seen quite a few vampire Fiddleford aus. Which is wonderful don’t get me wrong, but most of them lean into the more classic victorian aesthetic. I however, wanted to lean more in a southern direction, I drew on some classic cowboyish designs as ways for him to hide his… affliction

Cowboy hat to shade his eyes and cover his ears (sorta)

Bandana to shield his teeth from view

Boots and messy jeans (because every farmer/ worker I know is always covered in various muck and viscera) to cover any blood he may accidentally leave on him

Vest because it looks neat

[butmakeitgayblog]

Does Anya ever show dal any affection? Not even tossing a ball far away to distract his staring? How do you even resist that face?!

What’s Sal’s best trick? The waving is super cute.

Not... so much lol. She's not mean to him at all! Just awkwardly professional with him considering he is, in fact, a dog. Like if he brings her a ball, she will very politely tell him, "No thank you" and then fidget while he stares at her until Lexa or Raven intervenes 🤦‍♀️ She's tried to pat his head in the past but then that just leads to him him wanting to lean on her, which in turn inevitably leads to him wanting to sit on her, and then everything just devolves and again, "No, no. No thank you. Sal, that's not—........ Lexa he's crushing me 😐"

He's only got a few tricks up his paw thanks to his hips, so the waving thing is probably his most impressive. But he can balance a treat on his nose pretty decently and cover his eyes if Lexa tells him to, and also play dead if Lexa yells BANG and pretends to shoot him. But it's not uhhh the most graceful death in the world 🥴 he kinda goes down in increments and floppy limbs because of his hips and so the effect is just... well it's ridiculous to watch

[navybrat817]

How is the weekend almost over, lovelies?! Getting ready to take the kiddos to the pool and all I want to do is sleep. They'll have fun though. 🥰

I plan to have Part 5 of Hold You Tight posted this evening. And we get a little bit of spice in this chapter. ❤️‍🔥

Hope the weekend is going well or the week is off to a good start. ❤️

[theluckywizard]

Kiss Me Moonstruck

Hawke x Trevelyan | DA2 | Matchmaking Mischief | Fluff and Smut | Fish out of Water | Romantic Comedy

At long last! I have begun publishing my 'distraction fic' Kiss Me Moonstruck, a romantic comedy romp set during Dragon Age 2, Act 2 between scrappy warrior Garrett Hawke and plucky noblewoman Rose Trevelyan. This fic happened when I overheard Leandra Hawke plotting to find Hawke a spouse right at the start of Act 2 and decided to run with it! New chapters weekly or biweekly (haven't quite decided yet) 💖

Fic Summary: Smashed together in a matchmaking scheme cooked up by their enterprising mothers, Garrett Hawke and Rose Trevelyan are forced to endure one another for a whole week over Satinalia at the Hawke Estate. Rose hears he’s a swashbuckling treasure hunter, as wild as he is handsome and as ill-bred as he is rich. Garrett suspects she’s a brat of an ingenue with a string of rejected marriage proposals behind her. Determined to prove to the other that they could not be less compatible, they quickly find their mothers’ plot might be working better than they thought.

I have loads of art of these two for my DA:I long fic, but not for KMM yet! But this favorite of mine is by @crunchyncrumbly 👇 and the one below is the favorite of mine that I made!

Chapter one excerpt below the cut 👇

The carriage winds from the outer gates through the undesirable part of the city, slowed by restive crowds who can’t be bothered to get out of the way. The unfamiliar livery of their carriage offers no additional incentive; indeed the teeming masses seem utterly unmoved by the finery of the vehicle. Rose counts derisive stares, supposing they’re envious of their fortune, the one passed down through generations. She wonders how they’d feel if they knew that her veins coursed with the same humble blood and whether it might soften the bitterness in their eyes. 

“I wish they would hurry up,” mutters Alsatia, fiddling with her delicate kidskin gloves.

“Oh I’m sorry, Mother, are the unwashed masses making you nervous?” asks Rose. “Didn’t you tell me that Leandra lived in these parts before her fortunes were restored?”

“Well it’s not as though she wanted to be down here any more than I do,” retorts Alsatia. 

“And wasn’t she a Blight refugee? From a humble life in Ferelden she chose for herself? I’m amazed you ever managed to become friends in the first place.”

“Hush, Rose,” says the elder Trevelyan, drawing her furs closer around her neck.

“It’s true. You can be an unbelievable snob,” presses Rose. “But maybe you weren’t so stuffy back in the day.”

“Polish up that mouth of yours,” she warns her.

“Or what? He won’t make me an ill-fated offer of marriage?” she asks. Alsatia’s frosty eyes land on Rose’s with a determination that matches her daughter’s flippant resistance. “Truly though. Isn’t he some sort of swashbuckling treasure hunter? I’d be amazed if he cared.”

“He’s richer than the Maker and an Amell and you will do your best to make a favorable impression.”

“I thought he was a Hawke.”

“The name doesn’t matter as much as the lineage.”

Rose slumps back and huffs a sigh. Aside from Alsatia’s industrious pursuit of an advantageous match for her daughter, she knows it’s all a clever plot to avoid her father’s family who descends upon Swinley House each Satinalia and treats her low-born mother with thinly veiled contempt. And now they’re off to see her old friend who suffers from a similar affliction: Leandra Amell had famously absconded to Ferelden with an apostate mage. The upper crust never forgets these sorts of things. Rose certainly knows that.

Read the rest of the chapter here

DAFF CREW

@warpedlegacy | @rakshadow | @rosella-writes | @effelants | @bluewren

@breninarthur | @ar-lath-ma-cully | @dreadfutures | @plisuu | @hekaerges

@ir0n-angel | @inquisimer | @crackinglamb | @agentkatie | @oxygenforthewicked

@about2dance | @exalted-dawn-drabbles | @blarrghe | @delicatefade | @leggywillow

[meenawrites]

Spider Modern AU cause I can't help myself

I've seen so many people doing this and I love so much so I shall be participating as well. I'll also be doing other characters but this post is dedicated to Spider rn. I should really be working on my finals rn but here I am.

Spider is 100% a theater kid. Like no question about it. This kid can sing, he can dance, he can do gymnastics. He's the theatre troupe's pride and joy honestly, he's always pulling big stunts that wow the audience. This also ties into his love of storytelling in general so of course he's a theatre kid. Which ALSO means a lot of his playlist is musical songs cause.. ya know, obviously. I'd imagine Kiri actually secretly gave him access to her Spotify so he'd got access to premium (secret meaning everybody but Neytiri knows tbh). 

I think Spider actually does pretty well academically. He's a fast learner and his brain absorbs things like a sponge so once he understands a concept, it's all A's for him. It kind of pisses Kiri off how smart he is without trying sometimes, but she's also super proud of him for proving his haters (and her mom) wrong. 

This kid is the Anti-Bully of the school. He sees anyone bullying anyone and he's already aiming a punch at their face. Because of that, he's kind of seen as the protector of underclassmen and targets in general so he's pretty well liked generally, except for by the traditionally popular kids. Also not super popular with parents cause all that really sticks in their heads is violent Tarzan kid. He kind of stops with the physical violence once Kiri expresses her worry for him and how she doesn't want him to just blindly resort to violence all the time. But then he starts making comments to bullies that piss them off equally so there's no real winning for him here lol.

I think Spider likes working with his hands a lot so on top of acting in theatre, he also comes up with and constructs a lot of things for set and they always look incredible. 

Also, inspired by @be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie 's latest post, he joins the cheer team in solidarity with Lo'ak because he wants to get close to Tsireya. Refer to her post for more detail on that, I reblogged it if that helps. 

Despite being a year older than both Neteyam and Kiri, Spider and Neteyam actually share a lot of classes because Neteyam is a star student and skipped a grade. Kiri could probably also skip a grade if she wanted to, but her head's a little too in the clouds during classtime for any of her teachers to recommend it, even if she does get good grades. 

Spider still has his hair long, though I'm not sure if he would let it just endlessly keep growing or he would trim it here and there to his shoulders just to manage the curls a bit. I imagine his hair grows pretty fast so maybe once a year he chops it back to his shoulders and in like three months it's already almost to his elbows. He's gotten pretty good at braiding though, so when he can't be bothered to put effort into maintaining his curls, he just brushes his hair violently and braids it all in like dutch braids or other complicated hairstyles. The girls' soccer team probably starts recruiting him to braid their hair before games (based on my own experience lmao).

On a more serious note with his home situation... I think as a kid he was probably passed through multiple foster homes and all of them kind of said that he's too much for them. Then he ends up with the McCoskers and while they're not ideal they never say anything like that or try to get rid of him (yes they neglect him but seeing how he was treated before and they're not kicking him out, he's okay with them just giving him a place to stay). At least I'd imagine until maybe something big happens like he overworks himself or something and who notices other than the new family in town? The Tonowari family. And then they swoop in and are like 'mine now' and Spider's just like what? Unconditional love? A home where they notice I'm gone? Where I don't have to find my own food? What is this?

BUT IF TRUDY LIVED: so I imagine as a kid he'd still maybe be passed through the foster system a little, but Trudy is invested in his well-being, she's just still convinced there's some couple out there who'd be better for Spider overall until she sees all of them rejecting this perfect kid and she's like screw it and screw my own problems, I'll work through them for this kid but I'm taking him. And he's a happy boy thank you very much, loves his mama to death. 

I'll probably have stuff to add eventually but take this for now. 

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Here is part two of our expanded headcanons:

-Tuk is every parents worst nightmare. Her siblings are so much older than her, she has been desensitized to everything. When Lo’ak and Kiri were Tuk’s age they were fighting over a toy, but Tuk is pretty sure she’s ready for an Ikran. She is the ringleader of all her friendgroups and she can manipulate anyone into anything. She was the youngest to do everything in her family just to keep up with her siblings, and that means she knows so much more than all her friends her age. She taught them all the swear words they know, and she definitely told every child in the clan how babies are made as soon as Lo’ak told her and they were ALL way too young to know. 

-When Tuk was born Lo'ak and Spider were literally so upset she couldn't play with them for a while. You would think it wouldn't be them who'd want her around, but they just want her to be able to do more than crawl already. Therefore Tuk learns to walk the fastest out of all the Sully kids, because Spider and Lo'ak keep losing patience. They stand her up with Spider holding her hands and Lo'ak hovering with his hands at her sides at least once a day until she learns to stand on her own.

-Tuk also learns to speak the fastest. It's to get the attention of her siblings and to get a word in when they all talk over each other at the same time. This is not to say she's somehow smarter, she is simply adapting to her surroundings.

-One time when Tuk was around two Jake stubbed his toe and said "fuck" in English. He was alone with her, and didn't give it much thought until she whispered "I know what that means," also in English.

-Tuk is a why child, just like Lo'ak was. There has to be a reason for literally everything and she will not let it go. She is then the most educated toddler ever, because her siblings aren't quite old enough to get fully frustrated with her yet and usually just answer her endless questions.

-Tuk teaches every other toddler in the village everything she knows, answering endless why questions that no one else is asking, teaching an audience that is paying varying amounts of attention.

-As much as the other kids call her the baby, they spend a lot of time letting her join them doing things that they did not do at her age. They are enablers as much as they are co-conspirators.

-Who do you think taught Tuk to threaten to tell Neytiri, because she didn't think of it herself.

-Lo'ak: Tuk, go with Kiri, me and Spider are going flying.

Tuk: Kiri says I can't go to that part of the forest.

Lo'ak, unknowingly releasing the beast: Just tell her you'll tell mom where she's going if she doesn't bring you.

[sleepingsongbird]

Alrighty so I’m finally getting around to writing some modern au One Piece fic so I figured I should probably share some background for it!

Everything is set in one giant city and I have put way too much thought into this

City is roughly split up between the “four emperors”

The Grand Line(NE-SW) is the main commercial street that runs through the center of the city where every large group has a front. It intersects Red Street(NW-SE) which divides the territories. The Hospital sits at the East corner of where the Grand line and red street intersect.

Big mom’s pastries

The Red Force bar - cocktail bar

Kids repair shop

The Amazon Lily - Boa Hancock’s strip club

Rayleigh is a legal consultant and the only piece of neutral territory on the grand line

Marinefold- the Town hall sits dead center of Red street

Lodge square - located in the center in front of city hall

Pacifista church - run by Kuma, large mega church

Etc.

The Heart territory is a couple blocks in the East side that spans from Law’s apartment to the employee entrance of the hospital

All of the Hearts work either at the hospital or the Heart Club

Hearts are highly territorial despite being in Red Hairs area

The Hearts have tattoos but no markings on their medical uniforms

The large hospital where Law works is neutral territory and pretty much every doctor/surgeon there is affiliated with a group

The white coats of the doctors each have the symbol of their affiliated group embroidered with white thread. Each major group has at least one doctor that is deemed safe to go to

Kaido is a Yakuza group and Kin'emon’s group is the remnants of the Kozuki clan that are trying to retake the territory

East side is Red Hair

Locations-

Baratie- restaurant Sanji works at and common meeting place of the Straw Hats

Water 7- Large mechanic shop, Franky uses one of the workshops there for personal projects and to repair their Van(The Sunny)

The Heart Club- A below ground nightclub owned by Law

Patty’s bar- Run by Makino and frequented by Shanks

Mihawk’s Dojo- Zoro frequently trains there

Elegia recordings - Run by Shanks and started to Publish his daughter’s music

Uta started as a streamer then starting doing live performances once her popularity grew, she is often out of the city on tour

She is a very active protester and has been arrested multiple times

Soul KIng - Music supply shop owned by brook

Brook who was a famous musician who faked his death and moved into town to avoid the publicity (still very recognizable)

The straw hats live friends style with 3 apartments on the same floor. They are the local menaces and are constant up in everyone’s business

North Side is Kaido

Locations

Onigashima- Formally called the Kozuki theater was taken over by Kaido and turned into a club. Run by Orochi but paid for by Kaido. The daughter of Oden works undercover as a dancer.

Oden restaurant - Named after the late boss of the Kozuki family is run by his friends and son, current front to the Kozuki Yakuza group

DonQuixote Inc. headquarters- Center of Doffy’s operations and front for the family

Dressrosa Casino - run by Doflamingo. Hosts fights at its arena. Formerly run by the Riku family, Viola Riku currently sits on the board.

Punk Labs- Caesar’s lab, Donquixote is their parent company. Was formally run by Vegapunk.

Cipher pol - Government intelligence. Has agents stationed in every region

-Local occult shop run by Hawkins. Perona works part time doing seances

West side is Big Mom

Locations

Germa 66 publishing company- a well known action comic publishing company owned and run by Sanji’s family

Thriller Bark - Haunted house run by Gecko Moria

Zoo - Run by a wildlife conservation group called Zou

Drum University Campus - known for its medical programs ​

South side is Whitebeard

Locations

Local Police station

Alabasta Gallery - an upscale art gallery. Formerly run by the Nefertari family has recently become a front for the Baroque Works gang run by Crocodile selling counterfeit art

The family heir Vivi is a curator trying to gain evidence to take down Crocodile and restore the Gallery to its former glory.

Museum - has previously bought works from the prestigious Alabasta gallery. Robin works as a curator and researcher there.

The yami - dive bar run by Blackbeard

The coast(East Coast)

Impel Down- High security prison located on an island off the coast

Enies Lobby- an old mansion island now used for major celebrity and political events

The big top - an amusement park and circus located on the boardwalk. Run by Buggy. Alvida runs the big top in his absence.

Buggy is the primary informant in the city and also works as a clown at the local hospital to cheer up the patients and gather information.

The Barto Club - a bar and exclusive club dedicated to the strawhats gang. Run by Bartolomeo. Invitation only.

The Polar Tang- Luxury Yacht that Is outfitted with a full medical infirmary owned by the Hearts

Outskirts

Cocoyasi orchards - citrus farm owned by Nami’s family run by Nojiko

Baltago Cafe - front for the revolutionary army, an anarchistic group opposing the government. Koala is their head barista. Militia operations run by Dragon. Sabo is a member.

Feel free to use this as inspiration or setting for any fanfic or art just tag me so I can check it out!

[jotawaifu]

Kiss Art Challenge 14 - Anything!

[frodothefair]

Huge inside joke with Mr. Nisile that nobody will get, but I feel the need to post it anyway.

Gaffer: Marigold, ever since you married Frodo you use far too much lavender to wash your sheets and clothes! You two are going to die of lavender poisoning, mark my words!

[cuteniaarts]

What if… Suiren in Vaatu’s colours 😳👀

[cantsayidont]

It's a day ending in "y," so here are some more movies, most of them bad:

DIAVOLO IN CORPO (1986): Sexually explicit but generally lackluster Franco-Italian drama about an affair between a high school boy, Andrea (Federico Pitzalis), and a 20something woman called Giulia (Maruschka Detmers), who's engaged to a political prisoner currently lobbying for release under a new clemency law. Loosely adapted from Raymond Radiguet's 1923 novel LE DIABLE AU CORPS, the film departs so much from the original story that one struggles to see the point: In the novel, the boy (who narrates) and his mistress (whose name is Marthe, not Giulia) are both teenagers — when they meet, they're 15 and 18 respectively — and Marthe is engaged and later married to a soldier away fighting in WW1. Stripped of that context, Radiguet's sardonic first-person narration, and most of the novel's plot, the script preoccupies itself with painting Giulia as a maniac who threatens to castrate her young lover while he's sleeping and may have had an affair with his therapist father — bleah! (The book, which Radiguet wrote at 18 and which was at least semi-autobiographical, has been adapted several times, some more faithful than others.) CONTAINS LESBIANS: No. VERDICT: Greatly inferior to the source novel, with little to offer besides sex and misogyny.

THE MACK (1973): Unexceptional blaxploitation drama about an ex-con called Goldie (Max Julian), newly released after five years in prison on a robbery beef, who decides to reinvent himself as a pimp, much to the dismay of his politically conscious brother (Roger E. Mosley). Richard Pryor has a noncomedic supporting role as Goldie's childhood friend and one-time co-conspirator. Not as clunky as some blaxploitation films of its time (it's head and shoulders above the conceptually similar WILLIE DYNAMITE, for instance), but not particularly memorable either, and its attitude toward women is hard to stomach, particularly in a bizarre sequence where Goldie tries to build a cult of personality around himself. Its main virtue is the soundtrack by Willie Hutch; the movie is no classic, but Hutch's end-credits theme song ("Brother's Gonna Work It Out") definitely is. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Not in any meaningful way. VERDICT: Stick to the soundtrack album.

PATTY HEARST (1988): Dull, mostly unsatisfying attempt to dramatize Patty Hearst's 1974 kidnapping/recruitment by the Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA), starring Natasha Richardson as Hearst. Based on Hearst's 1982 autobiography, it tries to convey her state of mind by sticking close to her point of view, beginning with her abduction and psychological torture/indoctrination at the hands of the SLA and its leader, Cinque (Ving Rhames), and ending with Hearst's conviction for crimes committed while part of the SLA. (Her sentence was commuted in 1979.) If you're not familiar with at least the basics of the story, you'll likely be completely lost, because the framing is deliberately disorienting, though never very engaging. In its determination to suggest that Hearst was non compos mentis through much of the period it depicts, the film leaves her something of a blank, and the portrayal of the other SLA members is thin and wooden; Rhames' charisma compensates to some extent, but costars Dana Delany, Frances Fisher, and William Forsythe are just not good enough to make up for the weakness of the script (which is by Nicholas Kazan, son of infamous HUAC collaborator Elia Kazan.) It only comes to life near the end, following Hearst's capture, which hints at a more interesting movie that failed to materialize. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Several of the other SLA members were wlw. VERDICT: Reading Hearst's Wikipedia entry and then watching the SLA pastiche in NETWORK (1976) would tell you just as much and be significantly more entertaining.

RAMBO: LAST BLOOD (2019): Seeing Stallone's engaging turn in TULSA KING gave me the misguided notion that maybe some of his other recent projects might be passable time-wasters. Not so this extremely dreary, very racist hokum about John Rambo, the improbably durable Troubled Vietnam Vet™ from Stallone's inexplicably popular '80s action series (originally based on a David Morrell novel, whose protagonist did not survive the story), trying to save the Latina granddaughter of his caretaker (Yvette Monreal) from evil Mexican human traffickers led by Sergio Peris-Mencheta (apparently taking time out from his role on SNOWFALL) with the help of Paz Vega. Why anyone thought the RAMBO series needed a fifth installment 11 years after the the previous movie (to which it's unrelated) is anyone's guess, but the results are wholly free of redeeming virtue — sadistic and jingostic almost from the jump, and most of the Mexican characters are played by Spaniards! I noped out after less than an hour. CONTAINS LESBIANS? No. VERDICT: If you want vicious racist bullshit about the evils of The Border, you could just watch presidential campaign ads (from either party) for free.

SERIAL MOM (1994): Appropriately ridiculous John Waters satire about deranged Baltimore housewife Beverly Sutphin (Kathleen Turner), who becomes a serial killer lashing out at anyone who tests her fragile sense of propriety. Eventually, she becomes a popular celebrity, even defending herself at her much-publicized murder trial. Sam Waterston, Ricki Lake and Matthew Lillard costar as her family, with an assortment of absurd cameos and supporting bits — Juror No. 8, whose white shoes (after Labor Day!) so offend Beverly during her trial, is played by Patty Hearst! The film doesn't quite find its groove until the nightclub scene (featuring L7 as "The Camel Lips"), and its satirical take on the derangement of straight white suburbia is not exactly deep (or subtle), but it remains fun, thanks mostly to Kathleen Turner's commitment to the bit; she's great. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Not as such — it's a Waters film about straight suburbia, so none of the characters are normal (gay). VERDICT: Tame by Waters standards, but a minor classic worth seeing for Turner alone.

[keeperthemultiversemom]

poppy don't get mad at me but.. L BURNED THE WATER!

"..."

"H-how...? I've seen things in my life, but this is a first... Generally the triplets are the one who sets things on fire. You didn't hurt yourself I hope ?"

[petty-arsonist]

So how does the inheriting powers thing work?

They’re always listed as Former masters of the elements but- do the former masters powers fade once the new one reaches their full potential? If they were both alive at the same time could they both use them? Would it just be a mild inconvenience once the former masters powers faded? ????? ??

[theluckywizard]

Kiss Me Moonstruck, Ch. 5: That Nosy Bird

Hawke x Trevelyan | DA2 | Matchmaking Mischief | Fluff and Smut | Fish out of Water | Romantic Comedy

Gif by @lavellanlin

Chapter Summary: Garrett comes home. Rose eavesdrops. Garrett gets stitches. Rose gets an eyeful.

WC: 2,592

Fic Summary: Smashed together in a matchmaking scheme cooked up by their enterprising mothers, Garrett Hawke and Rose Trevelyan are forced to endure one another for a whole week over Satinalia at the Hawke Estate. Rose hears he’s a swashbuckling treasure hunter, as wild as he is handsome and as ill-bred as he is rich. Garrett suspects she’s a brat of an ingenue by the string of rejected marriage proposals behind her. Determined to prove to the other that they could not be less compatible, they quickly find their mothers’ plot might be working better than they thought.

Excerpt below the cut 👇

“Well I think it went well!” says Leandra, returning to the chopping block with supplies. As she wanders to the fire to pour a cup of tea for her son, she carries on. “I— admit Alsatia seemed a bit stiffer than I remember. But I think she liked my tart.” 

There’s something tense in her voice like she isn’t sure at all. She’s soothing herself. He can see it in her expression.

He takes an inelegant oversized bite and speaks through a mouthful. “Well if she didn’t, she’s a blazing moron.” His factual assessment is met with a glower. “ Only because it’s the finest treat in the whole of the Marches.” He adds. “I hope it was a pleasant evening.”

“Alsatia and I were able to catch up for an hour or so. Lady Rose was tired from the journey so she didn’t stay with us long, but I can’t say I blame her exactly. It’s a terribly long time to sit in a carriage.”

“I spotted her in the library just now,” he says.

“A reader! That’s promising,” says Leandra, dunking a cloth in a basin of water.

Garrett exhales a chuckle and shakes his head. “Yes, the barest indication of intelligence.”

His mother tugs on his arm in annoyance, flashing him a look of reproof. “Let me see this wound of yours,” she says, jerking his arm straight to inspect. She wipes the dried blood off his forearm and then bends to squint at the laceration at his elbow. “Five or six stitches I’d guess.” She wanders over to the larder for a bottle of alcohol. 

“Is that— Maker, Garrett your back is bleeding as well!” she cries upon her return.

Garrett cranes his head to look over each of his shoulders, catching a glimpse of deep scarlet over his left. He thought he felt something itchy back there. “Huh. They must have caught the edge of my cuirass.”

“You’re going to send me to an early grave, you know that?” she mutters, pushing his linen shirt up off his back for a look. “This one is bigger. Take it off, come on.”

Garrett tugs his shirt off, peeling carefully where it sticks to the drying blood on his shoulder. He laughs into the crimson stained shirt he balls up for washing. “Take enough blows you stop noticing them, I suppose.”

“Maker, Garrett. You didn’t kill anyone tonight, did you?”

“I don’t think so. Dougal’s thugs are just hired help,” he says. “Probably have families to feed, same as me.” He takes a gulp of tea and pushes the last of a slice into his mouth. “So is it good to see her? Your old friend?”

Leandra is quiet for just long enough that he can tell something is off. “Chew with your mouth closed.”

Garrett rolls his eyes. “You can tell me you know. Regardless of whatever you hope for me.”

“She’ll settle in I think,” says Leandra over the swish of a bottle as she dabs gauze. “She’s been amongst nobility for a long time. It’s made her—”

“—a bit of a snob?” Garrett finishes, turning and squeezing her shoulder.

“Eat your galette.”

Read the rest here 💗

Start the fic here! 🌛

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