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mooncruiser · 4 years ago

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Heyy!! I’ve been meaning to pin my testimony, so here it is :)

So, my life wasn’t really the greatest growing up. I mention C-PTSD in my bio, and that’s what I’ll get into a bit. I’ll try not to be too graphic, but I can’t guarantee it’ll be totally safe.

There were some questionable things in my toddler years, a neglectful daycare center for 3 months, my dad being in and out of my life due to fear of getting attached at first, him flying off the handle once with me (my mom got on him for it, so it never happened again) but I think the trauma started with my cousins leaving me stuck out in a baby swing twice, a near death experience with a dog bite, and a homicidal attempt on me and my mom by my sister, who was 16 at the time (I’m 5 years old).

There was also the dog cage incident I believe at…6 years old? Me and my brother were playing and he forgot me on accident. I pretty much accepted at this point that life was gonna chain me up and try to kill me lol, but it let up for a good while, and I had a pretty decent childhood. At 9 years old, there was the torturously loud school program in the gym I had to sit through for 2 hours, I think.

It was at 10 when things became chronically ongoing. Domestic violence at home from my sister (physical, emotional abuse on me and my family), more physical and emotional abuse at school from my assistant teacher because I was on an IEP for my autism. At 11, I was sexually abused by my female friend who was 12, and her female cousin, who was 13. I was abandoned by my cousins and aunt, and I was being placed in a seclusion room at school during standardized tests (which was sensory deprived solitary confinement) even after I was finished for the day. At 12 years old, I started being emotionally neglected by my mother.

I mean, I was so angry and depressed and secretly suicidal at 10, but by 12 I was severely dissociating (I had been dissociating during trauma at various times prior). I had so much fear and anxiety that by the time I was 13 I’d be feeling like passing out 24/7, so I got on meds, which only helped the more severe physical symptoms, I guess.

At 13, I started being groomed by this high school girl that liked me. She was a Sophomore, and I was in 7th grade. She noticed the neglect and told me she knew me better. She would give me gifts, teach me to ship gay pairings, gave me a gay pedophilic manga. Shamelessly told me she had sexual relations with her male cousin and his friends who were around my age. I blocked it out.

I also had a very abusive friendship with a girl online who had BPD. My assistant teacher, who came with me to middle school, restrained and tortured me with the marching band’s loud music in the hallway, which only intensified my dissociative symptoms (I was actually switching alters at this point regularly and having no idea).

I remember at 13 being confused about my gender and sexuality. My mom was no help and just wanted me to hide it from my family and everyone else, for reputation purposes and she didn’t want me bullied. That was actually how I decided to get in contact with my grooming abuser, which I wonder at this point whether that was my fault. I didn’t expect her to really take over like she did, but I was essentially brainwashed into accepting whatever I was feeling for her benefit. I just wanted advice and a friend.

I was so lonely, I had been desperate for friends for years, and I was desperate for someone to love me in any way, honestly. I was overeating. I’d spend hours daydreaming, in video games or entertainment to escape from school and everything else. During meltdowns, I’d be doing self injurious behaviors.

So by 14, I come out as a lesbian. Had a couple relationships with girls who just saw me as a sexual object (I remember saying yes to sexual things even though I didn’t want to, just so that they wouldn’t abandon me. Dissociating off and finding it disgusting), would cheat on me with multiple people, ignore me for new friends, etc.

The BPD friend I dated, when I broke up with her, immediately attempted suicide so that scarred me more into our trauma bond. She’d show me self harm pics she took from time to time. It scared me into making sure I didn’t trigger her again, but u know I never knew what triggered her in the first place, so, like with everything else, I had no strategy to life. It was either fight, run, dissociate or nod yes to everything. She took up the latter lol.

I came out as trans my Freshman year, and stayed that way into my Sophomore year. I was bitter about dating because of the whole sexual object thing, and full of shame at the same time, thinking no one would want me. I thought I was asexual. I tried out a career high school honestly just to get away from the memories of my old school.

Some feelings about being trans started to fade, but not entirely, so I went by genderfluid/genderqueer from 17-19. I was excited to make new friends at my new school, but my anxiety kept me from it. I opened up very awkwardly about my dating history to one girl (which tbh I shouldn’t have, but I had been brainwashed so lol) and she told all the girls in my lab, and I was excluded and bullied (and cyberbullied) from thereon.

I didn’t know it at first, it was so subtle. But once I knew, I tried standing up for myself and told the principal, which made them leave me alone for the most part. They’d glare at me, use me at graduation, cyberbully me one last time 8 months after graduation, and that was it. I still had to deal with domestic violence until I was 22, but once I graduated everything pretty much hit me.

I knew I’d be too stressed out to go to college or work. School indoctrination tried to teach me to be neurotypical and expect this, but it wasn’t happening. I was too afraid to leave my house for a year, and too afraid to be honest online for fear of being watched and bullied, or stalked. I was seriously considering suicide down the line. I thought I had nothing left to live for. I was useless. Nobody cared. Friends moved on to their new lives and I was dying.

That’s when Jesus stepped in.

I guess I started being curious about God again for the first time since I was 12. I always believed in God, was grateful to Him for being there for me during the domestic violence and never blamed Him for it. I found out about worship music and was thrilled, and a question came up. Was being gay a sin? My grooming abuser taught me that God made me gay, so it was alright. But I wanted to know for sure this time from the Word.

To my surprise, she was wrong. The Bible said it was indeed, a sin (the practice, not so much the identity aspect). I couldn’t piece together why, so I struggled with it for months. On my 20th birthday however, when I got done creating fanart of a gay pairing, I felt strongly convicted by the Holy Spirit that it was wrong. So I went to God.

I said, “If it is wrong, please change me so I can make You happy, because I love You. In the meantime, I won’t do anything in support of it for a while. If it’s not wrong, don’t change me, and I’ll know which way is right because I trust You.” When I look back on it, it was a pretty crazy prayer. Lots of people have said they couldn’t “pray the gay away”, and I do wonder what the difference was with me.

After 3 months, I stopped to check if I still felt anything, and the feelings were gone. My gender dysphoria was gone, too. I was way too afraid to tell anybody yet, but I remember when I did, one of the first people I told was my grooming abuser.

She was livid, tried one last time to intimidate me. Another time we crossed paths (she came out of nowhere saying hi, said she worked at that market, complimented me and walked away smiling) and I was triggered, I messaged her and told her how she hurt me and I couldn’t bear to be around her anymore, but I hoped she’d have a good life. She didn’t respond online, but she complained to my sister that I thought she was a predator, and by the end of the conversation tries to get her to tell me she said hi. When she had kids, she was planning on raising them to be nonbinary. Her husband was abusive to them, so she ended up losing them. She never bugged me again.

I was blown away by how God had changed me. How He opened my eyes to the truth. I prayed for Him to open my eyes to whatever else I had been blind to, and He slowly began lifting off the amnesia surrounding all my traumas, urging me towards recovery with Him. I realized I might have OSDD-1b recently as well, which is strange that I could have possibly had DID prior to losing my amnesia?

I have been on this journey ever since, journaling, blogging, researching, and finally in a wonderful therapy called EMDR where I truly release the traumas from my body, hear God’s new positive beliefs to replace old negative ones from my childhood, and experience loving extraordinary visions while processing that teach me to focus on Jesus, trust Him more, love and pray for my enemies, and have a real satisfying relationship with Him that’s unattainable with anyone on Earth, along with daily Bible study.

The picture on the left was me at 16 in my old life, the one on the right is me in my new creation :) God bless all of you, thank you for reading this far 💕💖

#testimony #long post

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ladyhistorypod · 4 years ago

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Episode 11: [Insert Political Joke Here]

Sources:

Patsy Mink

National Women’s History Museum

University of Hawaii

United States House of Representatives

Patsy Takemoto Mink

KHON2 News (YouTube)

Further Viewing: Internet Archive, Patsy Mink: Ahead of the Majority (Trailer)

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

The White House Historical Association

Theodore Roosevelt Center at Dickinson State University

Find A Grave

The New York Times

Smithsonian Institute

Wilma Mankiller

National Women’s History Museum

Oklahoma History

Time Magazine

National Women’s Hall of Fame

Smithsonian Magazine

Attributions: Cherokee Nation's Chief Wilma Mankiller, Marching Drum, Power Of People: Sea-Tac Airport Travel Ban/Immigration Protest

Click below for a transcript of this episode!

Archival Audio: I'm really very excited by, and my process says our difficulty has been that not enough have run. We can’t expect that every woman, because she's a woman, the minute she runs she's going to be successful. That's not possible. So we do need to have the numbers in there competing, and given the numbers I think we're going to be more and more successful over the years.

Alana: So this is the first episode that's going to come out after the election is over. Like, by the time this comes out we're gonna know.

Haley: I was thinking of that when I was looking at the schedule and I don't know… I'm real nervous. I have class that night. It's going to my first class being like on the east coast, so I'm gonna be real tired. I’m gonna be with my cat though it's gonna be fine.

Alana: No this podcast is gonna be so nice.

Lexi: To be fair, we might not know who actually won by that Thursday.

Haley and Alana, somehow at exactly the same time: That’s true.

Lexi: Because there's going to be a lot of contention about mail-in ballots. So, dear Lexi listening to this on Thursday or even on Tuesday while editing it of election week; how's it going? What’s up?

Alana: Are you okay?

Lexi: Are you doing okay? Do we know yet? When will we know?

Alana: When will we know? We probably won't know on Tuesday when you're editing it, but…

Lexi: And we probably won't know on Thursday.

Alana: On Thursday when it comes out.

Lexi: We might get a result and then we might get told it's not the result. There might be a lawsuit.

Alana: This podcast is gonna be really nice for the two of you to have to remember my voice by when I die in the coup.

Lexi: Yes the coup that will occur in DC. That might be more like January.

Alana: That's true, the coup will be in January.

Lexi: When someone refuses to leave… the area… to evacuate the premises.

Alana: Maybe he’ll be dead by then.

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History; the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. Here I am, still on Zoom, with Lexi. Lexi, have you ever run a political campaign?

Lexi: Oh my god. I have.

Alana: Did I set you up for this?

Lexi: Yes. My dog is running for daycare class president. Please vote for him. His name is Captain, he's a Portuguese water dog, he's two and a half years old, and he's really cute. His platform is that he'll give you a snuggle.

Alana: I love him.

Lexi: Me too.

Alana: And someday will be reunited in person, Haley. Haley, what's your political platform?

Haley: I know. My skeleton is allowed to be in my passenger seat so I can ride in the carpool lane.

Lexi: Skeletons is people.

Haley: My plastic Napoleon Bone-aparte should be my second in command. Thus, me going in the carpool lane.

Lexi: Vote for Haley, skeletons is people.

Alana: And I'm Alana and my single issue vote is not ushering in the apocalypse.

Lexi: I have experience as a campaign manager, feel free to hire me.

Haley: A lot of people are gonna hate that.

Alana: No I love that.

Haley: I’ve never met–

Lexi: Listen, the people who support NAGPRA, they will love that.

Haley: He’s fake. My mom really had to grill me and I–

Lexi: He’s not real. Her skeleton is not real.

Haley: My mom was terrified that I got a real skeleton. And like honestly, of all people, I could go on the deep dark black webs, sure, but she even like texted my roommate like when we were all like in a group chat and we were calling or something and she was like “Caroline it's plastic, right.” And then also, y'all were involved in this– when Robert and I started dating, for like months he thought that was real and wouldn’t go near it and was like, heavily creeped out that like he was sleeping in the same room as a real skeleton. And it wasn’t until like I pitied him and–

Alana: First of all, he’s sleeping in the same room as two real skeletons.

Haley: That's true.

Lexi: He's sharing a body with one.

Archival Audio: Because the women have not until recently reached retirement age after having worked a full lifetime, only now are beginning to realize that there is inequity in the law.

Lexi: Congresswoman Patsy Takemoto Mink was born on December 6, 1927, near a sugar plantation. She was born on the Hawaiian island of Maui, and I just have to say, Maui is one of my favorite places on Earth. It was the first place I took scuba diving lessons and it is seriously an amazing and beautiful place. I have trouble thinking of any place I've ever been that's as beautiful. Patsy was a third generation American and her grandparents were immigrants from Japan. The term among Japanese Americans for a third generation child is sansei, not to be confused with sensei which means teacher. And sansei are the first to be raised by parents who are themselves raised in America, so they are very American and that is why they get a special name. Patsy was close with her brother Eugene and the two spent most of their childhood exploring the island together, foraging for edible mushrooms and bamboo shoots which is really cute. The family mainly spoke English at home, but Patsy learned Japanese in order to communicate with her mother's parents. Her father, Suematsu Takemoto, had been orphaned at a young age and served in the military before attending the University of Hawaii and becoming a civil engineer. He served during World War I. Suematsu was the first Japanese American to earn a degree in civil engineering from the University of Hawaii and he set a precedent for his children who would go on to break barriers themselves. Patsy witnessed racial discrimination faced by her family at a young age and this may have served as inspiration for her work in later life. Patsy also grew up in a community where many families did not have the privileges and comforts that her family had, and she realized this when she started to attend school; this also likely shaped her future work. Patsy's parents treated Eugene and Patsy equally, breaking Japanese tradition in which strict gender roles were imposed. This likely contributed to the strong bond that she and Eugene shared, valuing each other as equals. Patsy, who always kept up with her brother, decided to attend school a year early to be with him in class. She started primary school at the age of just four. In the fourth grade, her and her brother were transferred to a new school. This new school, which focused on English language learning, only admitted students with fluent English skills, effectively segregating white students from non white students and indigenous people on the Hawaiian islands. Every teacher they had in class was white. Patsy and Eugene were admitted because they had great English skills, but of course, English was their first language and it was also language their parents spoke to them at home. And Patsy and Eugene were part of only five percent of the student body that was non white, so ninety five percent of the school was white. Though Patsy flourished academically, she had trouble fitting in at the new school and made very few friends. Patsy's hobbies included listening to the radio and reading books which connected her to the world beyond Maui. Eventually, Patsy entered a new school to begin high school. There she was elected class president. She claims the support of the football team helped her secure the position. This was the start of her career in politics. While Patsy was in high school, the attack on Pearl Harbor occurred.

Archival Audio (FDR): Yesterday, December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy.

Lexi: Local non-Japanese citizens became wary of the Japanese locals, despite no Japanese Hawaiians being involved in the attacks. Japanese families destroyed culturally significant family heirlooms such as katanas and kimonos. They shut down Japanese language schools and they disbanded their cultural clubs. At the same time, Japanese Americans in mainland America were being rounded up and sent to internment camps. Many of them had been born and raised in America and had never even visited Japan. Some of them were sansei, just like Patsy. But racism and fear led non-Japanese individuals to oust even their closest Japanese friends. In Hawaii, far less Japanese were sent to internment camps and Patsy narrowly escaped participating in a tragic part of her generation and culture’s upbringing. Despite this, Patsy later in life claimed that President FDR was her political inspiration. Patsy graduated from her high school as valedictorian in the middle of a global war. In the fall, Patsy was admitted to the University of Hawaii, her father's alma mater, and she began her studies. She participated on the debate team and became president of the pre-med club because at the time she was considering pursuing a career in medicine. As the war continued, many of Patsy's college friends decided to transfer to schools on the mainland for security reasons. One of her professors suggested she apply to a women's college on the mainland. She was admitted to Wilson College in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania which happens to be my home state. She met with the president of the college upon her arrival at the school; he told her she would probably struggle with her course work because the classes are all taught in English and she would be granted a private room. Patsy later recalled that he was so shocked when she replied in perfect English for multiple sentences, and she was then put in a shared room because if you can speak English, you can share a room. This was Patsy’s first taste of the ignorance many mainland Americans had about the Hawaiian territory, which was not yet a state. Patsy found the course work at Wilson to be below her, stifling her for real learning. She also faced discrimination from classmates and faculty. Because of this, she transferred to the University of Nebraska. It was at her third college that Patsy became engaged with policy making. The university's policy segregated white students and students of color in student housing. The international house, where she assumed she had been placed purely because Hawaii was not a state at the time, actually was home to both international students of color and American students were Black, Latinx, or Asian. The school’s other dormitories and the on-campus Greek housing only admitted white students. Patsy decided to take action and began a campaign to end the discriminatory policy. She led letter writing efforts, worked with the school newspaper, and spoke with local newspapers about the issue. Students she did not even know began supporting her in her campaign. She became president of the Unaffiliated Students, a group of individuals were not associated with Greek life at the University of Nebraska. Patsy was within just one semester a campus leader. The same year she starred at the University of Nebraska, the housing discrimination policy was lifted by the board. Unfortunately, Patsy suffered a medical emergency and had to return to Hawaii to be with her family, where she finished her last semester of college just where she started, at the University of Hawaii. She earned a dual major degree in chemistry and zoology. After graduation, she applied to medical school. Every school she applied to reject her. At the time, women were not admitted to medical school at a fair rate and women made up only about three percent of the student body of most American medical schools. And, because it was 1948, many colleges were focusing on admitting returned veterans. The odds had been stacked against Patsy, and unfortunately she would not be able to fulfill her goal and dream of becoming a doctor. Then Patsy started her first job in a museum at the Honolulu Academy of Arts. Museums always seem to be a factor in our shows… huh… Well anyway–

Alana: I wonder why…

Lexi: I wonder why… I mean I didn't even know this about her when I picked her so this is super fascinating.

Alana: You were just– you are drawn to her.

Lexi: Yes.

Alana: The museum called out to you.

Lexi: The little museum bit. And this is actually where she met her mentor who encouraged her to pursue law, so it was through the museum that she found her true calling. And she was accepted to the University of Chicago under their international student quota, and though she desperately, desperately wanted to correct their error and remind her that being born in the Hawaii territory made her an American, she did not want to mess up the chance to get into law school, so she just rolled with it. So, she went to Chicago and she started law school. Patsy found law school intellectually a good match for her and it kept her engaged in her learning which was something she really cared about. She made many friends, some of whom were also Japanese American students studying law. It was at law school where she met her future husband, John Francis Mink. John was from a Pennsylvania mining town and his grandparents were Czechoslovakian immigrants. He had received his undergraduate degree from Penn State and was pursuing a Masters in geophysics at the University of Chicago. Patsy and John married while still in grad school. Patsy's parents disapproved, saying they wished that she would wait until the two graduated, though it is speculated they may have had qualms about her marrying a white man. Patsy graduated in 1951 as the first Hawaiian woman to graduate from the University of Chicago with a law degree. John and Patsy remained in Chicago and had a daughter named Gwendolyn who goes by Wendy for short. And after she was born, they decided it was time to move back to Hawaii. A really shitty, dumb law at the time made women citizens of their husbands’ home states. Who decided that, what for, I do not know. This meant Patsy, despite spending less than a semester for life in Pennsylvania, was a Pennsylvania resident. She fought this law, arguing that the couple had never resided there together and she was granted Hawaiian residency and she was able to take the bar exam in Hawaii. Though she passed, she could not find work as a lawyer. The dual reality of her gender and race was working against her. Potential employers found that it would not be appropriate for a married woman to work long hours as a lawyer and they also feared she would decide to have another child. Go figure, they just assume these things about women, blahblah blahblah blah, people suck. So with the assistance of her father, she opened her own firm, advertising herself as the first Japanese woman lawyer in Hawaii. She had few clients, so she worked as a part time professor and took court appointed cases to supplement her income. When Hawaii was granted statehood, Patsy knew she wanted to run for government positions. She helped start a club in Oahu for young Democrats and expanded her interest in politics. In 1959, she ran for a position in Congress, but was not elected. In 1962, she won a seat in Hawaii’s State Senate. She had run an intense door to door community campaign, and it had worked. Patsy became the chair of the Education Committee and served in the State Senate until 1964. Patsy was determined to make change on a national scale and continue to campaign for selection as a candidate for the Democratic Party of Hawaii. In 1964, Hawaii was granted a second seat in the US House and Patsy ran to be the representative; she became the first Asian American woman to serve in Congress and the first woman to represent Hawaii. During the eighty ninth Congress, from 1965 to 1967, only thirteen of the five hundred thirty five combined senators and representatives were women. Patsy was the only woman of color. There's actually an awesome picture of the thirteen women and Patsy’s just right there in the middle with a big smile, but I think it's so crazy when you think about percentages and scale and how that doesn't accurately represent America, and, hm, anyway. Patsy fought for gender and racial equality. She promoted bilingual education, co-wrote Title IX, and promoted affordable child care. As a working mother, she knew she needed to support other working parents. Even though she moved to DC to take her new role she often traveled home to Hawaii to visit her constituents and hear their concerns. In 1970, she was the first Democratic woman to deliver a State of the Union response. She also passed an act in 1974 protecting women's access to equal education. She also spoke openly against America's participation in the Vietnam War, fearing the effects on civilians of the weapons that were being used. In 1976, she attempted to run for the U. S. Senate but lost. Then the Democratic Party of Oregon asked Patsy to run for president. Because they had an anti-war focus, Patsy felt they shared values and agreed to run for them. Patsy only got two percent of the Democratic primary vote, but she broke barriers as an Asian American and woman running for president; she was the first. East Asian American woman to seek the democratic nomination for president. Patsy also served as the Assistant Secretary of State for Oceans and International Environmental and Scientific Affairs in the Carter administration. In 1990, Patsy returned to Congress as a representative for Hawaii. She founded the Congressional Asian Pacific American Caucus and served six more terms in the House. In the summer of 2002, Patsy fell ill with pneumonia. She was hospitalized in her home state. She died in September 2002. Because ballots had already been printed for the 2002 election, her name still appeared as the candidate. Despite passing before the election, she won by a vast majority. Her replacement, Ed Case, still serves as a representative for their district of Hawaii today. After Patsy passed away, the Title IX Act was officially renamed the Patsy Mink Act. Patsy was actually one of the women I covered in my personal Instagram campaign to combat the lack of Asian American women in U. S. history core education standards, and as of 2020, no state public school history standard mentions an Asian American woman by name. I've said it on the pod before, I'll probably say it again; let's make sure students learn about people like Patsy, especially young girls in the Asian American community who can see themselves in politics because someone like Patsy broke barriers for them. Patsy continues to be the subject of documentaries and podcasts. In fact, of all the women that I've covered so far, she was featured on the most podcasts according to my quick Google. Obama awarded Patsy a posthumous Presidential Medal of Freedom, commemorating her work for the people of Hawaii and the nation, and remembered her as the embodiment of the Aloha spirit. Of Patsy, Obama said “Every girl playing little league, every woman playing college sports, and every parent, including Michelle and myself, who watches their daughter on a field or in a classroom, is forever grateful to the late Patsy Mink.” Patsy left her mark on US politics, paving the way for iconic Asian American politicians today like Mazie Hirono, Tammy Duckworth, Andrew Yang, and even Kamala Harris. Mahalo and arigato, Patsy. Lastly, I would like to thank the National Women's History Museum for the awesome page if they put together on her which I used as one of my main sources and I interned there this summer and the content is really well researched and totally worth checking out if you need resources on other women like Patsy.

Alana: I think I remember Obama– like I remember him giving the Presidential Medal of Freedom to her. And I think I remember him also being like she was a political icon of his, outside of what she did for like Asian Americans and women and Asian American women. Like he was just like this is someone else from Hawaii who was doing cool political things. Like role models don't need to be gendered.

Lexi: Yeah I was just gonna say like Hawaii is his home. It might be that being born there and her being born there really built a connection for him between them.

Archival Audio: My mother and I were put behind a screen door in the drawing room. We were allowed to listen, but we couldn’t be seen.

Haley: This is gonna be a wild ride because I have a lot of anecdotes about my life and to this woman, and this woman is Alice Roosevelt Longworth known as the president's daughter or the American celebrity of her time, and she was even referred to as Princess Alice. Like I said, I have a lot of anecdotes about my life and the Roosevelts. Can I interest anyone with a fun fact?

Lexi: Yes I love fun facts.

Haley: Thank you for your enthusiasm Lexi. Her father–

Lexi: Yes! I love fun facts!

Alana: Always! I always want the fun facts!

Haley: I love these two people. President Theodore Roosevelt is technically my fraternity brother. It's like a technical, like they– we say it, we claim as like the boast Roosevelt is like our fraternity brother but there's no– I think, I don't think there's like actual documentation that they were Alpha Delta Phi fraternity members, so– and also if you're listening to me like “that's a fraternity, no women allowed” I am part of the Alpha Delta Phi Society, we still claim post-split to be like gender neutral and be like “hey, women should be involved not just as our secretaries.” That's a whole other tangent I could go on. Google it, if you will. I think there's even a Wikipedia about it. But yeah he's my fraternity brother. I say that a lot when I like, see pictures or like statues of any of the Roosevelts, it’s a great time. I'm gonna start us off with like an inkling of a Teddy quote since we've been talking about him, and a lot of you may know that this quote whisper it while you listen to it if you're in the car, taking a shower, just chilling on your bed hugging a dog, anyway Teddy once said “I can do one of two things, I can be President of the United States or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.” That's just giving you a taste of what a ride we’re going to go on. So what did Alice do to be worthy of such a quote, and the honor of being one of our political ladies for this episode? Honestly I could go on hours– I know I say this all the time, I can go on an hour long tangent on Alice, and I'm going to keep it just to like her pol– main political topics. Again, cracking this history book wide open to the birth of Alice on February 12 1884. Unfortunately, two days later, both her mother and her paternal grandmother died, and she was raised by her aunt Anna Roosevelt, and grew up with her five other half siblings between New York and Washington. This leads into another fun fact, if you will. You can visit their house at Sagamore Hill, and my friend was a ranger there once last year, and I got to go visit her during our Friendsgiving and slept in one of the barns on their site and there's like, I think Teddy's buried there, Alice is not but we'll get to that. But they have a whole like Roosevelt cemetery, it's a whole historic site in Long Island. The barn is haunted by something because I could not sleep at all, I just felt like something kept waking me up and I kept looking at this like one creaky door. Because we were in like her guest rooms, which was like two, two other twin beds in case they were like more Rangers on duty. And mine looked straight at this old door that kind of like lead into a mudroom and the outdoors. I swear there was no light outside. Like I went around, like the next time, I twisted my ankle trying to get around to that area, and I couldn't find like where this porch light would be giving such a green mist of color around this door at night because like all the lights were like those museum fluorescent like white bright lights or like– nothing green light and it freaked me out. Anyhoo that's end of like my tangent with that fun fact. Go visit Sagamore Hill for more Teddy content. And as a child– back to Alice– it was clear that she was a brilliant woman. Many sources noted that she was quote self taught in many of her areas of studies and was an avid reader. Along with her brilliance, she was considered to be a stubborn, strong-willed, risk taker, headline-maker, rabble-rouser, and trendsetter. Just all the things and you want in a lady. Alice's political side didn't shine through her skin cells until her father was sworn into office after President McKinley was assassinated in 1901. She was also, if not like the first, the first of any of the president's daughters to take like on a political role, kind of like with Lexi you were saying like there are a lot of firsts going on, and I believe this was like a first, for whatever reason, but she was the first of like president's daughter having some sort of political action that she like was like “hey let's fix this. I'm gonna do this, I'm a lady, I'm brilliant, I can do this, I have a voice.” And for example, in 1905 she accompanied Congressmen to Asia as like a quote goodwill ambassador for the administration, for like one of those let's go see the sights that we see a lot of political figures around the world do. There she was involved in a lot of peace discussions that were like post Russo-Japanese War. So there's a lot there. There's a lot on like the White House website that's in the sources, but it was more about the politics rather than Alice herself and I saw that a lot when I was reading things about Alice. Like when it started to get political it was heavily on the politics not much so what Alice did for those political actions or her political voice. I don't know if that's like author writing stuff… I didn't write it, all I know is that she was married. I believe it was like around 1906 and it was to Nick Longworth– that's why we have the Roosevelt Longworth name– who was actually part of the Republican Party. So at this time it was the Progressive Party which was her father Teddy Roosevelt and herself and then the Republican Party. And Alice agreed with her father on political stances, thus the Progressive Party, thus making these different political ideals kind of like a wrench in their relationship. But there’s a lot of other stuff that made this marriage kind of like a very topsy turvy one. But also there was alcoholism and affairs and they didn't necessarily come from Nick. This is where I read many sources where like Alice had many different lovers. I didn't really dig into Nick’s because like… men… we're here for Alice. But it was noted that she had different affairs, lovers, and these were all other men in the government. More on her political leaning, I didn't see anywhere that they got divorced, but they did have a daughter, Paulina, and Nick died bef– like way before Alice's death and she would– like should write books and go on like traveling trips, even post Daddy being in office to support Paulina. So I said her father died– that was a great segue, good job Haley. Even after her father died, she continued to use her voice in politics. She was one of the people who led the charge to keep the US from joining the League of Nations, and this is we're gonna get into like right around World War II. She was also a tough critic on how FDR was handling the Great Depression, and she at this time had a syndicated newspaper column where she would just bash politics, essentially. She would use this column to speak her voice and say “Hey, I have this, I’m gonna use it, I'm going to speak my mind, not care if I'm gonna piss any other political figure heads off” which… snaps for her. She also used her voice when she was on different committees to help the US, especially throughout World War II. She was heavily on the side of being neutral. I believe she was like even the head of some of these committees, these US implemented committees, to stay neutral. And just like overall politics itself. I couldn't find any where she was on a specific women's rights, education, it was more glossed over. I could have missed something. Other than being on committees, writing in newspapers, going on different platforms to speak her mind, she also would campaign for others such as Taft’s campaign and it was noted that she was friends with the Kennedys, Nixons, and the Johnsons; all other political figurehead families and future presidents. I didn't know where to put this little story, but like I need to say it, it's great. She was known for like, being like, that wild child. But in her wild child youths, she was known for smoking on the White House rooftop, and I'm like trying to picture the White House in my head, and obviously it probably changed a little bit since like Teddy was president, but like… I want to know if like you could see her from like walking on the Mall just like chilling on the roof because her father said she couldn't smoke inside the house for like a whole laundry list of reasons, it's not ladylike, blah blah blah, and she would just go to the roof and be like “I want to smoke. I'm going to do it on the roof. You can't touch me when I'm on the roof.” And she would also carry around a snake in her purse, and the snake’s name is Emily Spinach, yes, Emily Spinach was her… her snake’s name. Like honestly I would just love to carry around like a snake in my purse or any animal in my purse.

Alana: That’s my aesthetic.

Haley: It's an iconic name, Emily Spinach. This also confused me because I saw many pictures of her with a small dog. Like, kind of like a chihuahua, kind of like a pomsky, like one of those small fluffy dog mixes, so I want to know if like the snake and the dog got along. I don't– I don't know. I couldn't see my small dog like, liking a snake much.

Alana: I think small dogs were bred to hunt snakes. I'm not good at like the history of dog breeds but a lot of those small breeds were bred to hunt like pests, so–

Lexi: Rats, snakes.

Haley: Yeah, very confused.

Lexi: I guess if you raised it from a puppy around your snake, it might– it might have a different view, but like I don't let my parrot and my dog hang out. Maybe she didn’t let them hang out. That’s chill. I don’t know.

Haley: Yeah, I couldn't find a picture of like the two of them together, and if anyone does, please send it our way. That is– that would be an incredible portrait. Because she also– a lot of her faces are kind of like a “I don't want to be here” face, the classic “please leave me alone” which is iconic. And like one of her wedding photos is between like her, her dad and like her husband, and her face is just like “I so don't want to be like here right now…” Chef's kiss, I can feel it. I felt the energy. My last tidbit, of course, is while she was born in New York City, she was buried in Rock Creek Park Cemetery when she died at the age of 96. And I actually went to Rock Creek Park Cemetery a few years ago, when living in DC. At least like on the outside of it, if it's the same cemetery. I went to many cemeteries in DC, doing like the spooky tours but also getting from like point e– point A to point B, because like Rock Creek Cemetery is like way to get into like Maryland area. Also, anyhoo, on their website she's noted as one of their famous residents, and on their tour I believe that her like tomb, grave area is like part of their cemetery tour. Keep it respectful, people. And that's my story on Alice.

Alana: I like that she carried a snake around in her purse. That is my aesthetic. That is goals.

Lexi: Snakes are fun little noodles.

Alana: They’re so fun.

Haley: Snakes are fun. I would love a snake. Emily Spinach. I now want like a stuffed snake to name it Emily Spinach. Lexi, I remember that one of your friends or your sister requested this.

Lexi: Yes, my sister Elena Hoffman who is in law school in DC at the George Washington University. She’s not my biological sister, she's my sorority sister she sent me this like–

Alana: That always confuses me.

Lexi: Sorry.

Alana: Lexi will say that she has a sister and I'm like no you don't and I've– because I forget that she’s in a sorority.

Lexi: Anyway, she sent me this picture that's like one of those tumblr history… we take it with more salt than the Dead Sea.

Alana: Take your internet history lessons with more salt than the Dead Sea.

Lexi: Exactly. And it was like one of those like distorted screenshots where some screenshots it a million times and shares it like a meme. It was– it was about her being crazy, was like smoking cigarettes on the Mall, carrying around a snake, blah blah, a lot of which turns out to be true, so… Elena, thank you for suggesting her. I hope this confirms your weird internet history for you.

Haley: I really thought because I've seen like some of those pictures too, but it kept coming up in sources that I was like “oh they're not gonna give me like misinformation.” If they were, like I wouldn't be surprised, like misinformation comes up even in like what we call good sources. Like correct us if you're more widespread in the Alice history. Because I keep forgetting that like when we do this research, we do like probably like three hours of research, maybe less, maybe more depending on the person, but there are like, people devoted to this for their life's work. So like please, again we say this every episode.

Alana: If we're wrong let us know.

Archival Audio: “My guest, director, producer Valerie Red-Horse Mohl, let's start with the subject. What is the subject of your– your documentary?” “Well the name of the film is Mankiller and that actually is Wilma Mankiller’s last name. Wilma was the first woman elected Principal Chief of the Cherokee Nation and her story is just so relevant today.”

Alana: So my political icon for today is Wilma Mankiller, who has the best last name ever in the entire world, it's amazing. It's actually a military rank that was achieved by one of her ancestors, but kids made fun of her for it. If your name is Mankiller, why would you– why would you make fun of that? Because one time–

Lexi: First off, I would be scared.

Alana: Exactly! Exactly, why wouldn't you be scared? One time as like a grown up she was fed up with it and she said to somebody that it was a nickname and that she'd earned it. And I’m just like, what a woman. Very cool. So, she was born on November 18, Scorpio, 1945 in Tahlequah, Oklahoma. Her father's name was Charley Mankiller and he was Cherokee, and her mother was an Irish Dutch woman named Irene Sutton. And Wilma describes her family as an “activist family” so that is how she grew up to be an activist. She was the sixth of eleven children so right there in the middle. And when she was eleven years old, when she was eleven years old, the federal relocation programs that meant to encourage– I'm doing the massivest air quotes in the whole world– encourage assimilation. (Frustration noises) The racism!

Lexi: I just puked in my mouth a little bit.

Alana: The racism! But they moved her family to San Francisco, where they were poor in Oklahoma and they were destitute in San Francisco. It was bad news bears. She married for the first time in 1963 to an accountant from California named Hector Hugo Olaya de Bardi. They had two daughters, and I'm gonna bring up their names– Gina and Felicia. Felicia is my middle name. I think it was Haley, Haley was it you who I told you my middle name and you thought I was kidding?

Haley: Yeah.

Alana: Felicia is legit my middle name. That's true. I will show you my birth certificates, or my passport probably is more likely because I have that on me. In 1969, there was a nineteen month Native American occupation of the island of Alcatraz. Like nobody was using it, it had yet to become a tourist trap and it wasn’t a prison, and so it was sort of like out of use. But for nineteen months, Native American activists occupied Alcatraz and they like had schools and were just doing really amazing things.

Lexi: That's so cool. I didn't know that about Alcatraz and that is so cool.

Alana: It was amazing. But this happened while Wilma was living in San Francisco, which is you know right near Alcatraz, of course. It awoke something in her. She considered it a benchmark in her activism that inspired her to shift her career more towards political activism as opposed to being a mom and doing other things. Her husband wanted her to stay home and be more of like a traditional– massive air quotes again– housewife, so they got a divorce, which is what I would do as well if my husband was like “no I want you to stay home.” I’d be like first of all, why didn’t you tell me this before we got married we could have saved both of us a whole heap of trouble and just not gotten married in the first place but okay. But they got divorced, and so Wilma moved with her daughters back to her family land in Oklahoma, where she became involved in community government and improvement projects. In 1979, she survived a very bad car accident where her best friend died and she was also diagnosed with– I'm probably gonna pronounce this super wrong– myasthenia gravis, which is a neuromuscular disorder that made it hard to talk, hard to write, hard to use her hands in general. So she started the Bell, Oklahoma water project; and Bell, Oklahoma is a tiny, itty bitty, little town in Oklahoma, so small, most people only spoke Cherokee, and they were in like dangerous living conditions. There was no clean water, it was just a bad time all around. But using federal grant money and local volunteers, she managed to construct eighteen miles of a water system and repair a lot of the dangerous living conditions. While she was recruiting volunteers she met her second husband who was full Cherokee named Charlie Soap. I'm not gonna say nothin about her dad and her second husband having the same name, but okay. That's a deal breaker for me, but you know what Wilma, go for it.

Haley: If I found another person with the name Fuzzy. I think I would have to marry them. I don't know like I feel like that's just too insane not to.

Alana: So Ross Swimmer, in 1983, chose her as a running mate for the Cherokee Nation election as he was running for Principal Chief and he wanted her to be his deputy. And they won, despite sexism and death threats. And in 1985 Swimmer took a position in the federal government and Wilma became full time Chief, full time Principal Chief, not deputy anymore. She served two more terms, for a total of ten years as Principal Chief. She decided not to run for reelection in 1995 because of her health. Under her leadership, tribal enrollment was up, infant mortality was down, literacy was up, unemployment was down. She created a self-sufficient health care system, although that's not really going so great anymore because of Covid and racism. Two really bad things, just in general. Of my least favorite things right now, I would say Covid and racism, really high up there on my list of dislikes. She won the Presidential Medal of Freedom, actually, in 1998 from President Bill Clinton who I'm probably gonna talk about in not a flattering light in a couple weeks. And she died in 2010 of pancreatic cancer. She left a legacy of cultural pride and self sufficiency and self government for the Cherokee people. It was her whole thing was like we can do this ourselves, we aren't helpless, we can create our own governments and our own systems, we can be just as good at government for ourselves as these white people who are like imposing these restrictions on us. We can govern ourselves. And so that was her whole thing was like we don't need outside help. That's the story of Wilma Mankiller. I have a couple of closing statements about– for the episode in general. I have been very frustrated lately with people who say that they stay out of politics.

Lexi: It comes to replace a privilege.

Alana: It comes from a place of privilege!

Lexi: But people in different communities can have different levels of privilege, unfortunately.

Haley: Yes.

Lexi: And they can try to exclude themselves from the political process because they think it doesn't affect them, which is blowing my mind. I just–

Lexi: The place I see it the most, and I'm– I don't know if you guys have noticed this too; so many people outside of museums, old heads in museums, trying to say museums should be apolitical. And this frustrates me to no end. For one, everything is political. The existence of a museum is political.

Haley: Yes.

Lexi: Our existence is political. People working in a museum, people who live and then also work in a museum. It's all political. Everything you do– your kid going to school? Political. Your kid go to school? that's political. You eat food? Politics. You wear glasses? You go to the doctor? All politics. This is all political. So, when people say museums are apolitical, I just want to– or or even when they say museums are bipartisan, museums lean one way or the other. And museums tell stories, and stories always have a bias in them, and museum shouldn't try to be apolitical. Museums should aim to tell stories and to make change in their communities.

Haley: I’ve had a similar conversation– I will not give like personal details, but the bottom line was that… the argument that this person was trying to say why they shouldn't be political, were all like human rights… it was just like oh well museums are already like not racist, or like not gender biased and it’s like–

Lexi: Well that's wrong.

Alana: That’s just false.

Haley: But they– like they were trying to skirt around the way of saying like, “oh but these aren't, these are human rights stances, like we can talk about those in museums.” Even though like kind of saying that they're like not happening, trying to be on the more of like there is no gender bias there is no like blah blah blah– which is false, but saying like because those are human rights that they're not political, thus like a museum can talk about it, but we can't say like major political statements which–

Lexi: Human rights is political. It shouldn’t be, all humans should have rights, but…

Haley: Yes! Yes!

Alana: That's why they're called human rights.

Haley: The US has made this a political argument, of course like– regardless of what your stance is, like say “oh these are purely human rights,” not everyone sees it that way.

Lexi: And museums are racist.

Haley: Yes, museums are racist.

Lexi: You know, everyday– everyday, I like sit in the shower because I'm just so overwhelmed. And I think “Museums bad. Museums racist. Museums sexist. Me museums? Me learn museums? Me bad. Me racist. Me sexist. What this all for.” And then I say “That’s museums. Long live the museum.” Because I believe museums can be better places, but–

Haley: And we see that a lot.

Lexi: Yes. There are so many museums doing good work, like District Six Museum in South Africa, the Anacostia Community Museum in DC, one closer to home. Like there are so many museums doing good work, actively anti-racist work. But the historical institution, until we admit this organization is founded on racist and sexist principles–

Haley: We’re getting into a whole chunk of my thesis about the origin of museums. I could–

Alana: I was more talking about, in the broader sense. Like the non-museum people who I know who are like “oh I stay out of politics” and who have friends who are opposite sides of the aisle.

Lexi: Oh, “I don’t vote because I don't care”? Like–

Alana: “I don't know because I don't care.” I think there comes a time, you come to realize that just you existing is political.

Lexi: Yes.

Haley: I also think–

Alana: Like, my existence is political just by virtue of who I am.

Haley: Yes. I also want to like reference like Enola Holmes, remember that part where–

Alana: I was thinking about that a lot.

Haley: It was in the cafe and it was Sherlock–

Alana: Sorry, Lexi.

Haley: And this other cafe human…

Alana: Edith, I think is her name.

Haley: Edith, yes. She was running the cafe and running the upstairs like women learning Jiu Jitsu…

Lexi: The suffragist karate school.

Haley: Yeah, yes. Don’t quote me if it’s Jiu Jitsu.

Lexi: They did not mention the kind, I think it was just martial arts.

Haley: Okay, martial arts. Martial arts. But Sherlock was like “oh I don't get into politics” and…

Lexi: That pissed me off.

Alana: Because like, then she was like “because the system in place benefits you and you don’t want to see it change.”

Archival Audio: “Show me what democracy looks like!” “This is what democracy looks like!” “Show me what democracy looks like!” “This is what democracy looks like!” “Show me what democracy looks like!” “This is what democracy looks like!”

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on ladyhistorypod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review or tell your friends, and if you don't like the show, keep it to yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra, you can find her on Twitter and Instagram at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand, and Ameliea Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time, on Lady History.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week on Lady History, we’re cracking open the history books and talking about some historic and iconic lady authors. Remember, a book a day keeps the stupidity away.

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