#watching hiccup do his thing in 4k....

[jackshiccup]

house sitting for my sister while she's on holiday and the first thing i'm going to do is rewatch httyd 2 on her 85 inch flat screen tv just as god intended

[madwomansapologist]

Autumn Thunderstorm | Chapter 7 - And then you know, you just know

Navigation | Series Masterlist | AO3

series synopsis: Thranduil thought the recent attack of spiders on a periphery village was the only thing deserving of his attencion. If he could've imagined what he would found there, who he would found there, the Elvenking would wait a millenia in front of that river so he could see her sooner. Or: how Gandalf managed to keep a secret for 14 months.

seventh chapter synopsis: Tomorrow came and became yesterday. In Woodland, you found more than just a roof over your head: you discovered a different way of living. And Thranduil also discovered something, a secret hidden by his own heart. [4K]

warnings: female!reader. lotr kinda of violence. pre-Smaug. padme you will never be forgotten! if you watched pushing daisies i have something to tell you: 😉. another thing and i promise it is the last: anyone interest on hearing the playlist i made for this series?

glossary: Maenwë: Clever girl┆Losto vae: Sleep well┆Melön: Friend┆Vendë: Maiden┆Lossëistar: Ice Mage┆Aithor: Warrior┆Alassëa rá: Good morning┆

“You are as intimidating as a butterfly, maenwë.”

A dry laugh escaped your throat as you rolled your eyes. Most people would not do that to a king, but that was a limit already crossed. And the alcohol did not helped. It was all Thranduil’s fault, and he would admit it too. Woodland’s wine is stronger than what you thought, and the sindars party for way longer than you are used to.

You held yourself against the door of your chambers, your fingertips brushing the wood carved elk. It was your best attempt of standing still while also being serious. “You are testing my pati…”, a hiccup stopped you from finishing your sentence.

Thranduil laughed. He guffaw. After a moment of silence, so did you. Everything felt so bright and lighly. “Losto vae”, said Thranduil. It sounded so far away, even thought you knew he was right there in front of you.

How long has it been since you both left the dining room and were there, standing in the corridor of your chambers, talking the night away? Thirty minutes, maybe an hour. You lost track of time. All you knew is that your feet hurt, and your eyes were heavy.

You started to open the door, finally doing what you meant to do since you got up from your seat beside the Elvenking. “You too, dear.” Entering your room, you felt sleep joining forces with the strong wine to get you down. “You too.”

The door had already been closed for a few moments before Thranduil could move. He just stared at it, unable to do anything else. Thranduil gave a step back, his gravity trembling even though he was far away from being as wasted as you, and walked towards his chambers trying not to look back.

For the last week you spent at the inn, you could not keep your eyes closed out of rage. During your small journey, boredom made you sleep for the most part of it. Sleeping have once again become an unachievable task. 

Not out of rage, or disinterest, nor sickness. But because of something else. Something better. Little by little it overcome your body. Strange, but not unsettling. For a moment it felt just like happiness, then it was something else entirely. You never wanted so bad for tomorrow to start. For something else to happen.

Longing. The problem is that you knew exactly what you were longing for. You knew exactly what your mind could not stop itself from thinking about. Who haunts your sleep, accompanied by the full moon. And the more it haunts you, the more you understand what it truly is. Or what it is not.

Gandalf has a gentleness that hides in the brutality of his words and actions. He cares, deeply. Aerin was present, forever concerned about you. Respectful until she was not. Luthien helped you with your shoulder, letters and secrets. Gildor surprised you with his lightness. Even Lorie, whom you know for a few days, already means something for you.

Thranduil is a friend, one that so quickly found a way into your soul, but he is not just that. What you feel for them is something completely different. To call him a friend is to diminish what he really is. To diminish what you feel for him. Thranduil is… 

He is not a friend.

Thranduil is your favorite person in the whole world.

Those days you spend at his Halls, all those moments you shared with him, just made you more sure of that. At every meal, Thranduil saves a seat for you by his side. After every training session with Tuor, he has that concerned gaze that makes impossible for you to not share what happened. And Thranduil, a king, somehow has time to hear all your dirty jokes.

It felt like you had just closed your eyes when Lorie opened the curtains, complaining about how cold it was there. You blamed the wine for not being able to get out of bed, and Lorie for not being kind enough to let you stay in there for a few more hours.

Sat on your bed, you agreed when Lorie showed you a dress. You did not even glanced at it. She spoke a few more things, not that you payed attention. You would have agreed with anything if it meant you could close your eyes and pretend you were sleeping. Your body felt just like static, and your brain was far away from functioning.

Lorie helped you change from your nightgown, mostly because your body would not stand for itself. The dress was so comfortable. So soft. The fine silk made you feel like you were wearing a cloud. It was of a blue that remind you of clear waterfalls. Chains of pearls held it against you.

Glaring at yourself through the mirror, you were mesmerized. You never thought a dress could make you feel like the fairest girl alive, but there you are. You touched the fabric, and it seemed to glow with the contact. It was unlike anything you had ever seen. 

Yesterday you wore a beautiful dress. Today you wore the sea itself.

“The Elvenking will love this one”, murmured Lorie, running her fingers through your hair. She decorated it with flowers, leaving the length loose. “Maybe even more than you do.”

You let go of the dress, turning your head to face her. “You think so?” 

Suddenly, shame hits you without mercy. Lorie should not have realized that Thranduil’s opinion matter so much. Nor should you hope of her being right. “He will not even notice.”

Lorie returned her attention to your hair, weaving the pearly flowers into your strands. Her fingers felt so great against your skin, so delicately tooking care of you. “I thought this was your goal”, she hummed. “To become more.”

You looked at her by the mirror. “To become what?”

“To become our queen.”

You coughed. Hysterically. “What? No, I… I never said that I was trying to do… this. That. Whatever you thought I was doing. I am here to learn.”

And all she did was to smirk. “Alright”, Lorie raised her arms, surrendering. “I judged you poorly. I apologize, melön.”

“It is fine,” you whispered, without looking at Lorie again. Your whole being was aching. Burning. Thranduil and you. That is… impossible. A king, a immortal graceful being, and you. He would laugh at the thought.

"And still, I must admit that I am definitely right about the king”, Lorie touched your shoulders, squeezing them gently. “I never saw Thranduil look at anyone the way he looks at you. And I was born only a few years after him.”

Lorie is old in a way impossible to understand or explain. And when you have the chance of hear a being that saw lands form, seas dry, stone fortresses rise and fall, you do it. You do it, despise fear or embarrassment.

You held her hand, feeling Lorie’s warmth emanate into your skin. “What do you… mean by that?”

Lorie leaned down, her face fit against yours. She felt so warm. So caring. “One day, maybe sooner than i can predict, you will become more”, she whispered against your ear. “And when that happens, I will say ‘I told you so’.”

It felt like a promise. Maybe because it was.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

When Tuor threw you a sword, you credited luck for catching it before it sliced you in half. It certainly was not for a previous experience. Or any further warning.

“That is… new”, you hesitated. “Did you confuse me with someone else?”

There is something so young about Tuor. Perhaps because of his comforting smile, somehow always half present on his face, or for the way Tuor seems so in peace with his own silence. But looks can be deceiving. Tuor appears to be young, but he is eons older than you. Maybe his memory is just as flawed and untrustworthy as one of an elderly human.

Because there is no other sane, logic explanation for Tuor to throw you a fucking sword.

"I know exactly who you are, vendë", Tuor's sword was in its sheath, and you could see it was much larger than yours. You have gone through Gandalf's things a few times, and got used with him hitting you in the head with his staff for using his sword as a toy. You recognize a two-handed sword when you see one. "Now we need to understand who you will become."

You looked around you, hoping someone would enter the hall and give you a reason to avoid whatever this conversation was supposed to be. Only then you questioned yourself about why you both were in a different room than the usual. No furnitures, tapestries, not even paintings or sculptures of any kind. It was just you, four wooden walls, and Tuor.

A perfect room for people to bleed in.

"You will not try to murder me, will you? I know our past lessons did not ended up as we wished, but is this really necessary?”

Tuor lead you throught ancient knowledge in an attempt of getting you in tune with your powers. He showed you Woodland, told stories about gifted people, gave lessons about self control. And no matter how much Tuor tried, nothing ever evolved.

Tuor seemed to lose the thread of his thoughts. "Why would you ever say that, vendë?"

"You have a menacing sword."

"So do you."

With a sword in your hands, the only person in real danger was you. “It would be very unfair if you try to murder me now."

"I will not murder you. I will train you", Tuor could not stop the smirk from growing on his face. "Just in a different way.”

"And how will it help me?"

"I heard so much about you", Tuor walked slowly around you, resting his forearm on the scabbard of his sword. "About how you did not waste a second to act when it was needed. That requires a lot of courage. To face a river."

"Anyone would have done the same on my place. And if I did nothing I..."

"Would have felt bad", murmured Tuor. Was he quotating you? "It all lead me to a obvious conclusion: you work better under pressure."

You sighed. When Thranduil offered you to be trained, you thought he meant read ancient tomes and talk to people older than the sun itself. And for a time it was. But now you will be trained. Trained trained. What have you done with your life?

"You do not have control over your gift", Tuor glanced at you, and in his eyes you saw something beyond confidence. Something similar to competence. "So we should redirect it to something you do.”

The sword you held seemed heavier. “And what should I do with that?”

"Hit me."

You waited for Tuor to say something. Then you waited longer. And longer.

You tried to remember the way Gandalf wielded his sword. How he seemed to use it as an extension of his own body. You also thought about the gleam of Thranduil's longsword.

You looked at the one in your hands. It was so thin, the metal was forged into an almost cylindrical shape. The handle was not long, and it had the right thickness for you to be able to hold it firmly. Paying attention, you saw how beautiful it was.

Your first blow was quick, but Tuor only had to turn his face for you to miss it. He laughed, and so did you. After a long, deep breath you attacked again. This time Tuor took a step back, and you stumbled as if the world was pulling you down.

“Now that you are warmed up,” hissed Tuor. “You can go all out.”

You swallowed the excess saliva, trying to keep yourself from feeling irritated. You aimed harder this time. The sword came down, and if you had hit Tuor he would been split in two.

At every attempt of yours, Tuor just backed away. Unaffected. It did not matter how hard you tried, if you did something different, how you held the sword. It just never hit him. 

And of course it would not. Tuor is a general. Way more experienced than you. A warrior. Respected because of his abilities. And you know that. It is obvious for you. But how could you not get mad when he kept on smirking everytime you fail? Even his eyes mocked you.

With your wrists burning, you decided to stop for a second. Tuor noticed it, and made sure to not keep his mouth closed. “Are you even trying, melön?”

“Right now I do not feel like your friend”, you sighed.

Your response got him off guard, making Tuor chuckle. He quickly returned to his serious face, reminding himself about his goal. Tuor need to get a reaction out of you. To make you feel something deeply, something other than that warm tranquility that is somehow always present in you. 

“So what should I call you? Vendë? Or maenwë?” 

Tuor waited for you to say something, then it clicked. He remembered a thing he heard. At the moment it did not meant anything, but now it could be useful. Thranduil was so upset about it — he mentioned it once and never again talked about it, which could only mean he thinks constantly about it. Tuor hopes it will get an reaction out of you too.

 “I know exactly what to call you.” Tuor gave a step towards you, smirking like a poisonous snake. “From now on, I will only address you as Lossëistar.”

And he did get an reaction out of you. A dumb one. A stupid, idiotic one. You made a decision no one remotely intelligent would have done. You did not even actively thought about it, it was instinctive. 

You slipped your foot on the ground and closed your hand over the base of the sword. For a second the thing on your hand was a spear. One that you threw right at Tuor.

It missed his cheek by an inch.

The sword chased into the ground and broke into a hundred little pieces. But what reached your feet was not forged metal or the base jewels. What broke, floating in that empty hall like a shallow fog, was ice.

Tuor kneeled down, took what once was a piece of your sword, and watched it melting on his palm.

“Melön. From now on, melön.” Tuor’s smiled was infectious. “And we need to get you a spear.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

It has been so long since Thranduil had seen his advisors so dedicated. In a matter of days since the translator gave them all documents found, every change was planned. New lookout routes mapped, expenses for new guard posts stipulated, blacksmiths chosen to forge new weapons, evaluations scheduled for soldiers’ skill.

“Which generals will lead the evaluations?” Thranduil inquired, glaring at the dagger in his hands.

It was perhaps the ugliest he had ever seen in his long life. A blackneded dagger, with its tip bent, the edge lost and wrong angles. Even if Thranduil had not know the stench of blood, there would be no need to cling to that sense. The dried blood was begging to be seen, daring anyone to ignore it.

The bag that revealed the betrayal of free people had it hidden in one of its secret pockets. To imagine how many people died at the hands of that disgusting being, and to never be able to discover if any of them were from his realm.

It interested Thranduil almost as much as the loom shaped pendant with snow inside the crystal. Thranduil cannot help but feel offended by it, the same way he felt lured by the jewel. 

So much had been done in Greenwood, and yet not enough. They can change everything, make only the best choices, and it will still not matter if they do not know who the spy is. There is no way of stopping the Enemy without that answer. 

Thranduil knows that it is not a advisor responsibility to find a culprit. He do not blame any of them for not having a name for him to blame. Thranduil has his suspictions. A traveling wizard with long white beard and a pointy blue hat tops his list.

“I will begin with the evaluation of the king’s guard”, said Tuor. “The officers are-”

“There is already a training under your responsibility, aithor”, Thranduil stopped him. “With your focus divided between so many tasks, the chance of one of them being done mediocrely is higher.”

“I disagree, your grace. I am the leader of the king’s guard, I know their limits and abilities. Furthermore, it is not as if your guest’s training is not progressing.”

After a few seconds of silent planning, he nodded. “Then I shall trust your discernment,” Thranduil begun with the subject he was supposed to. After acting as a king, he said what he wanted to. “Her training is progressing.”

It makes no difference Tuor calling him your grace if when given the chance his devilishly smirk will appear for anyone to see. “If there is something I can guarantee, your grace, is that she knows how to use a sword”, rejoiced Tuor. “Or a spear, to be more specific.”

A brief moment of silence came, but it was louder than any scream.

“Out”, said the king.

Tuor was the only one that remained sit.

As the door was carefully closed, Thranduil stood up. Leaning on the table, he bent over look into Tuor’s eyes. “What have you done to her?”

“I trained her. And it worked. Better than I expected.”

“With a spear?” Thranduil growled.

 “A sword”, corrected Tuor. He could feel Thranduil getting angrier, but he did not saw what Tuor did. “Next time it will be with a spear.”

“I thought I ordered you to guide her with her gift”, hissed Thranduil. “Not to make her fight. Not to maim her.”

“I did not…”

“I have no interest in hearing your empty excuses”, Thranduil interrupted. “If she is hurt, if by Varda her shoulder suffered because of your stupid delusions, you will not evaluate the guards. You will be one of them.”

Thranduil stormed out of the room, and Tuor felt as if his breath had followed his king. He shook his head, the echo of the doors slamming against the wall still in his mind, and stood up. “So over the top”, he whispered.

The Elvenking marched towards your chambers. Thranduil knew it would inconvenient to enter a maiden’s room unannounced, but he could not just wait. To think he trusted Tuor. That he believed in his ability. And that is what he get in return.

Thranduil remained determined in his path, until he heard a distant laugh. An all too familiar laugh.

He followed the sound, and was startled to realize it was coming from one of the kitchens. A servant came out, bowed as she passed the king and forgot the door open behind her. Thranduil did not even noticed that. He just continued walking, this time without rush, until he was right in front of the open door.

“And just when I turned around, prepared to walk away and never look at his face again”, your voice lured him. He could not see you, surrounded by elves that were supposed to be working, but to hear you was enough. To know you were there, laughing while sharing a story he did not heard the beginning, was enough to make the Elvenking just stop in time. “The horse decided to run away from me.”

The laughter returned, but his heart remained the same. It was not yours, so it did not affected him.

One of the cooks saw him, and she bowed with an awkward, startled movement. This caught the attention of others around her. With a gesture from their king’s hand, they left the room pulling their distracted colleagues with them.

You already had a smile on your face, but it just got bigger when you saw Thranduil. “Alassëa rá!”

Thranduil steped closer to you, admiring the way you radiated calm. You were fine. Not hurt, and using the dress he personally commissioned Lorie to sew when he saw the sketches. You looked divine.

“What you do here, maenwë?” A small, almost imperceptible smile appeared on his face.

“I craved something sweet”, you gestured towards the half-made pie in front of you. You were stretching the dough to cover the filling when you got distracted by conversations. 

His smile disappeared. “You should have warned me then. It is Lorie’s responsibility to guarantee you will not lack anything here”, Thranduil scolded. “As my guest, you will never have to work. I will find the best pie-maker and make him do everything you crave.”

“Sometimes it is just not that deep”, you answered. The basket of raspberries was turned over by flour-stained hands, and you turned to him with the prettiest one you could find. “Try it,” you offered him the fruit.

Thranduil stared at the fruit in your hands. “It is a offense that you think you need to deal with hardwork under my home, maenwë.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbed his hand and pulled the Elvenking closer. Chocked, Thranduil did not pull away when you opened his hand and placed the raspberry on his cold palm. 

“Again: not that deep”, you smiled as you stared into his ocean blue eyes. “It is just a pie.”

Thranduil did carried you all the way since the meadow until Luthien’s cabin. He did helped you get up from the bed after your long unconscious time. His fingers brushed against yours when you gifted him a precious book.

And still, this was the first time you held him. And by doing that, Thranduil never before felt so complete.

Thranduil could not hear anymore. He could not breath anymore. He did not saw the flour stuck to the bench, or noticed the heat, nor smelled the scent of sweet raspberries. The world could have burned and he would not see the ashes.

His world was reduced to only you. Like a mantra is his head, your name echoed throught the halls and hidden passages of his mind. Time moved, but you remained still. His world was expanded to only you.

Spring flourished in your hair, summer sparkle on your body. Smelling like pomegranates and lilies, you enchanted the earth. Water surrendered too, with rivers running down your curves. And meanwhile the sun shone above, Thranduil finally saw you for what you are.

Like the moon, you empermeated into his darkest nights. And just like the moon, you shone on him.

The sun is warm, but the tight embrace of the darkest nights and its brighiest stars are unstoppable. The sun burns, but the moon heals. Nothing would ever compare to the sweet returning home, or a dream filled with hope, nor the yearn for a sleep that never come. The sun shine on some, but the moon watches them all.

“Will you eat with me?” You asked, fingers still holding his hand. You were looking at the pie, trying to calculate how long it would take, but Thranduil continued glaring at your eyes. Thranduil dived into them, and he would gladly drown. “I think it will take about a hour.”

As discreetly as the lady who arrived late for dinner revealed herself to be able to stop a river, Thranduil discovered that this ache on his heart was what people call love.

You are his moon. Thranduil’s moon and stars. His treasures and riches. His sweet, toothaching sweet, friend. How stupid was him to not see it before. How deaf, dumb and blind.

“I can wait.”

[Eigth Chapter]

AUTUMN THUNDERSTORM: @ferns-fics @notanalienindisguiseblink @rayrlupin @elvyshiarieko @graniairish @whore-of-many-hot-men @h0ly-fire

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[sugarcoatedstarkey]

hiiii congratulations on hitting 4k!!! so well deserved!!!! <33

for your celebration, can i ask for prompt n. 7 from the first list ( “You can take it”) and prompt n. 40 from the third one (“Is that gonna fit?”  “I’ll make it fit.”) with rafe please?👀 thank you and congrats again!!!!

Hiii baby, thank you so much! I appreciate you 🖤

Warnings - Smut, drinking and language below. (18+)

What was meant to be a quiet night had turned into a raging party, your girlfriends ordering you to change and get into the car.

You had lost count of the number of drinks you had consumed, that lightness beginning to settle in. Your feet began to wobble slightly, your hands reaching out to grab the nearest person or object to steady yourself.

Your tongue felt tacky and teeth furry, you set the cranberry and vodka down. Reaching for a bottle of water, you consumed the whole thing and reached for another. “Woah you're going to drown yourself with the amount of liquid you have had tonight”.

A voice from behind you startled you, turning to see the one and only Rafe Cameron leaning against the fridge. “I’m fine thank you” you hiccuped, you went back to drinking your water.

You moved around the kitchen, your arm brushing his chest as you reached the bin. You could feel his hot breath on your shoulders, turning your body slightly away from him.

“You look good tonight”

“I know”

“Ha, of course you do”

You pulled yourself up onto the island, staring directly at him now. Your legs swinging softly, his eyes drinking in the curve of your thighs.

He moved himself, standing in front of you. He places both hands either side of you, a cocky grin on his kissable lips. “What are you doing?” You question, raising one eyebrow at him.

You didn’t mind though, you parted your legs just a smidge. His body instinctively moves between the gap, your lips hovering over one another’s. “nothing”

“Hmm… okay”

You could cut the sexual tension with a knife, his Adam Apple bobs as he swallows. Your throat was dry, your belly swarming with butterflies from the way he was eating you up with his eyes.

“I’m going to kiss you now” “okay”

His lips melted against yours, the alcohol buzzing through your veins. Your fingers found home in his hair, pulling him as close to you as humanly possible.

His tongue ran against yours, the room began to feel hotter. You could feel the eyes of others on you both, your skirt riding up slightly as he pushed his hips against yours.

“Come with me” you ordered, you pushed against his chest and grabbed his hand. Pulling him out of the kitchen and towards the upstairs area.

Hoots and hollers followed you both, eyes all on you. You rolled your eyes, giving everyone the finger as Rafe chuckled behind you.

Once you were inside a room, the door locked. You wasted no time, pulling your dress down to expose your thin panties. Breasts bare, his hands instinctively grasping them both.

His thumb and forefinger rubbed and pulled at your nipples until they sat erect. “Fuck” he groaned, pulling his shirt over his head.

Your eyes trained on his cock that’s sprang free from his boxers. The tip was red and begging to be touched. “Is that gonna fit?” You gaped, his hand began to pump at his shaft. Pre cum dripping onto your thigh.

“I’ll make it fit”

You nodded your head, staring back up into his eyes. He gripped your thighs, opening them wide for him. “Such a sweet little pussy”.

Your cheeks flushed a deep red, knees moving to hide yourself from him. “Don’t hide yourself”. You watched as his eyes trained on your pussy, fingers running through your wet folds.

You bite down on your lip to hide your moan, his thumb rubs soft circles against your swollen clit. Your hips moving against his hand, he pushed two fingers inside of you.

“Shit!” You cry, head flung back as he moves his digits in and out of you slowly, he spreads your arousal around until you were exceptionally wet for him.

“Ready?” “Yeah”

He begins to push his cock inside of you, stretching your walls. There is a slight sting as he nudges further and further into you. “Ouch!” You mumble, eyes squeezed such.

Your fingernails leave half crescent moons in his shoulder blades, ordering yourself to stay relaxed until he’s completely inside of you.

“You can take it” he groans, bottoming out into you. His balls hit your ass cheeks, you nod your head for him to keep moving.

You felt like a virgin all over again, his cock was thick and long. Soon enough pleasure was building inside of you, your toes curling as his cock hit that spot inside of you. “Oh fuck”

“Such a tight little pussy… all mine now”

“All yours!”

🏷️ @vigilanteshitposting @drewstarkeysleftfoot @cameronmedia @outerbankspov @pedrisgatorade @teresalesbian @users09 @m-indkiller @cilliansangel @bbycowboi @imnotapretzelsstuff @its-ria-07 @mountloverr @loverofdrewstarkey @ijustwanttoreadlols @kkmstblog

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

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Summary: Ashton has a bad asthma attack backstage.

nice ring to it - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) michael/luke T, 3k

Summary: Luke and Michael drunkenly meet at a bar, and wind up married to each other. Calum and Ashton are less than impressed with Michael's impulsive decision.

over and out (ao3) - mlstyles257 ot4 N/R, 4k

Summary: Except, when he goes to pull the toy out…not all of it comes out. Luke stares down at what was the base of his vibrator in his hands. The vibrations have yet to cease and Luke’s body is becoming oversensitive quickly. He scrambles to try and get the rest of the toy out, but his hands are slippery with lube and the toy is too far in him to be able to grab, especially by himself. The vibrator is persistently pressing against his prostate, which causes an excruciating amount of painful pleasure, Luke crying out as he cums for a third time. He raids the bed sheets for his cellphone, clicking on Ashton’s contact as it was the first one he could find. Thankfully, his boyfriend picks up in two rings. “Hi, love.” He greets cheerfully, but is cut off by Luke’s anxious cries. “Ash, it broke.” Luke sobs into his phone, the vibrations coming from within him turning painful with overstimulation. “What do you mean ‘it broke’?” Ashton sits up a little bit straighter at his boyfriend’s cries, Michael and Calum looking on with worried expressions.

PRETTY (ao3) - vcndetta G, 1k

Summary: Michael just likes pretty flowers, what's so wrong with that?

Somebody I Don't Know (ao3) - MCRmyGeneral michael/luke G, 7k

Summary: Calum walks into his unlocked apartment to find someone sitting on his couch cuddling Duke. Which is not unusual; his friends all have keys.

Except that Calum has absolutely no idea who this guy is, or why he’s in his apartment hugging his dog.

Superbloom - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) T, 3k

Summary: Ashton brings Calum a CD.

this is everything i didn't say - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) michael/luke, calum/ashton T, 6k

Summary: Luke's home life has never been great, with an abusive and homophobic father. Calum is the only good consistent thing in his life, with Calum being Luke's best friend. One day, Calum suggests that Luke meets some new people to hang out with. Luke is hesitant, but then he meets a red head named Michael Clifford, and everything changes.

Tour Mishaps (ao3) - JessJ7890 G, 1k

Summary: Somewhere through their South America tour, Ashton falls victim to a stomach bug and has to deal not only with protective bandmates, but with a chronic illness that makes an unexpected reappearance.

Unexplainable (ao3) - ashxtodd (orphan_account) calum/ashton E, 6k

Summary: Ashton just wants a good night’s rest before he has a show to put on the next day and repeat this process again and again. But apparently this cycle is too boring for the universe, so it decides to make Ashton’s already very complicated life, even more complicated by making him wake up the next day in his best friend’s body instead of his own (how the fuck is that even possible?)

The problem is, that isn’t even the only problem. The other problem is that Ashton’s completely oblivious to his best friend’s feelings towards him – so this bodyswap makes Calum lose his god damn mind when he has to face Ashton’s dick every single day (the universe just wants to torture him, he decides).

Worst of all, Ashton realizes that Calum has a very high sex drive and since he’s really not that experienced in the gay sex department. So he asks Calum to help him, which only drives Calum even more nuts. But hey, friends with benefits always end great (not).

The fact that Michael and Luke know too much is another problem.

Water The Flowers (In My Lungs) (ao3) - Marauders0exe michael/luke, calum/ashton, michael/ofc N/R, 5k

Summary: Luke's been in love with Michael for as long as he can remember, but Michael loves Lydia. Michael is marrying Lydia. And Luke is going to die just so long as the flowers in his throat threaten to suffocate him.

[poibynt]

The Poib Masterpost (WIP)

Yo yo yo I'm Flynn I do so many god damn things here's some of them

Ao3

FICS

I have some old Maze Runner stuff on my ao3 but I don't wanna look at that shit anymore so I won't be putting them here but they do exist.

Star Wars

Tennir par ni. Bobadin. 19k. Din's sick. The palace is old and full of memories. Boba grapples with it.

Harbinger series

If I can't change the weather, maybe I can change your mind. Also known by its working title Harbinger. Bobadin 84K. A harbinger offers a lighthouse keeper’s son an umbrella. Things go from there.

Seabird, Seabird, Fly home. Gen. 2K. Companion piece to change your mind. Din truly didn’t know if Paz would greet him with an arm slung over his shoulder or a hand pressing him hard against the cave walls while a knife glinted at his throat.

At ash’amur, norac at norac. At oyayc, pel’gam at pel’gam. Bobadin. 4K. The fight is over, now it’s time to clean up the mess. But first, Boba needs to take care of someone and avoid all the things that need saying.

Ni dirycir ner kando, ner beroya. Bobadin. 3k. Din keeps running away from being Mand'alor. Boba keeps tracking him down and bringing him back. Maybe they should talk about it.

ATLA

Theatre Techie Modern AU

live in america (the upper peninsula and the television news) Zukka but mostly gen. 3K. Waffles, horrible weather, impromptu production meetings and love amongst the dragons.

we watched it all night (we grew up in spite of it) Zukka. 3K. Misadventure, newly realised fears and late night lighting work.

HTTYD BOOKS

Moving Forward, Looking Back Gen. 1.6K. The first thing Hiccup does the morning after his (hopefully last) venture into Lavalout territory is sneaking out of his hut way too early in the morning. He wasn’t trying to hide what he was doing from his father, but Toothless.

Jujutsu Kaisen

My dogs a gone hunting (the howling is through)

Yuuji/Sukuna. 3.5k. The end of Itadori Yuuji’s false confidence starts with a bird hitting a window. Or: Yuuji starts receiving a visitor in his dreams. Things spiral.

Begging you please baby (show me your world)

Getou suguru/gojo satoru. 12.6k. Getou Suguru is in love with his best friend. Summer doesn't help.

Do you ever think of me and my two hands?

Kenjaku & Yuuji. 4K. Kenjaku follows their son’s development with interest.

PODFICS

STAR WARS

[podfic] Eccentric Orbit by a_shiny_mess. Bobadin. 15min. Boba had left a non urgent message in one of the drops Din checked regularly. Of course he’d started making his way back to Tatooine.

[podfic] a kind moment by QuickSilverFox3. Bobadin. 9min. Working together comes with several unexpected problems. Trying to avoid being spotted by the bounty Boba and Din are tracking is one of them.

[podfic] gonna carry you back home by Kazhan. 13min. While on his way to Corvus to find the Jedi, Din finally takes a closer look at the armor he retrieved from Cobb Vanth.

[podfc] yeah, you know what to do by Control. 13min. There’s a bounty on the head of Tatooine’s newest crime lord.

ATLA

[podfic] i gave you to the water (and she claimed you for her own) by Agni_Kai. Zukka. 1hr 34min. Stories and legends, of missing boats and strange sea-creatures from the spirit world, drowning unsuspecting sailors when they paddle too far out to sea. Sokka is beginning to think that he maybe shouldn't have been so quick to ignore Gran-Gran. Sokka’s solo fishing trip does not go as planned. Neither does Zuko’s hunting trip.

[thetempleofnyx]

wanna be a friend you can keep | 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕒 𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕠

summary: you never really thought about just how skilled your best friend is in bed until suna shows you what happens when you question him.

a.n: for @crybabycrisis 'lost a bet collab' Honeymoon Avenue Lost a Bet collab! thank you for letting me join cloudie! 

c.w. : a mirror is involved :)), squirting, suna's a little shit, but it feels so so good, pet names like angel and sweetheart, use of the word c*nt, unprotected sex (pls wrap it up irl y'all), brief mention of alcohol. ummm, pls let me know if i missed anything!

w.c: approx. 4k

:)

suna loves having you as his girlfriend. "such a pretty little thing," he thinks to himself as he watches you prance around your apartment, wearing only an oversized t-shirt of his. it had only been a month since you began this relationship with him, but how did you end up by suna's side? that was a long story.

the two of you were best friends first, having known each other since high school. you were the first person suna called for his accomplishments, from graduating high school to going pro, making the EJP Raijin team, to celebrating when he made the Japan national team and went all the way to the olympics; you were right there beside him for it all. and suna has been there for all of yours; every school graduation, promotion, or a new job, he's been there to celebrate you, so it's no secret that the two of you are incredibly close. so close that you share everything with the other, including when you're disappointed or frustrated about the state of your sex life.

it was a typical weekend hang out for the two of you, gathered in your living room, watching real housewives with snacks and drinks to unwind from the throes of adult life. suna was hardly paying attention to what was happening on TV, scrolling through twitter on his phone and barely listening to you talk to him about this last guy you've been dating.

"suna, you're not listening to me!" you complain, hitting his arm and lunging to grab his phone. you forget that as a professional volleyball player, the tall man has reflexes superior to yours and quickly moves out of the way, causing you to grab at nothing as he pushes you away from him back into the couch. "sunaaaa," you whine, but he still pays you no mind. "ugh whatever. so as i was saying, this guy just sucked. just like all the others. a one pump chump who failed to make me come, and i'm upset!" you lament, dramatically throwing yourself onto his lap.

suna, ever the blasé boy responds, still scrolling through whatever app that's occupying his attention, "that's because you always choose losers who don't know what they're doing."

offended, you scoff, "no, i do not! what do you mean i always choose losers?" a little burp leaving your mouth, the drink you'd been nursing making you hiccup.

"i mean exactly that. the past few guys you've been with each sucked worse than the last in bed. one guy refused to eat you out at all, claiming that he likes it when girls go down on him, but he could never do it to someone else. and the other guy! who really thought he was doing something rubbing at your coochie lip instead of your clit. when you tried to tell him exactly what you needed, he got it right for a minute only to end up back at the wrong spot? yeah, remember him? all losers."

noting that you didn't say anything in response to him, he looked down at you to see you frowning, "i'm sorry, but you really know how to pick 'em, don't you?" he jests as he lightly flicks your forehead.

"ow!" you whine. "whatever, it's not like you're any better. i bet all men are the same." you mumble into his torso. now you know this isn't true. as his best friend, some people felt too comfortable singing his praises to you of how well suna pleases whoever he chooses to bed. and you've never really entertained the thought of finding out for yourself. 

until now, that is.

"what are you down there mumbling?" he asks. deciding that you're really gonna take this step, you sit up, now eye level with the green-eyed boy, the little alcohol you had earlier giving you the confidence to cross that line with him, "i bet you're no better than all those other guys. bet you couldn't make me come." now suna may give off a nonchalant attitude, some may even say lazy, especially when it comes to things he doesn't really care about but there are a few things you know. one is that he deeply cares for you, and two, he never backs down from a challenge.

chuckling darkly, he set his phone to the side and looked at you. "i'm not sure where this is coming from, and i'm not opposed to it either." he said, leaning closer to you, his lips just a breath from yours. "but are you sure you wanna go there? because i could make you feel things all those losers could only dream about making you feel."

your eyes trace down his face, stopping at his lips before looking back into his eyes, "oh yeah? then prove it." you say with a smirk. with a widening grin, suna cups the back of your neck, pulling you closer, "your wish is my command." before crashing his lips against yours, taking your breath away.

part of you wishes you had kept your mouth shut because then you wouldn't have found yourself in the situation you're in now. 

hot, hazy and heavy is the atmosphere of your bedroom as suna has you sat on his lap, his thighs holding yours open so that he can see all of you. your breathing is laboured as one of his long fingers lightly toys with your clit, his other hand exploring your body, grabbing what he can, squeezing what he can, teasing what he can.

"eyes on the mirror, sweetheart." he gently commands, his voice smooth and deep.

you look up to see jade eyes peering at you as his lips leave electrifying kisses against your skin. he's reduced you to a moaning mess in mere minutes. it feels like you've already been at it for hours. Still, he's barely begun, and you're already feeling overstimulated, like everything he's doing is too much and not enough at the same time.

but suna is in no rush. he does nothing about your complaints but coo at you, "but i like seeing you like this," he breathes against your shoulder, the warm air from his mouth tickling your skin and making you shiver. you press your body into his, and the skin-on-skin contact grounds you just a little.

"you look so desperate, baby; your body strung so taut in my hold."  he taunts while leaving a trail of featherlight kisses up the length of your neck to the space just below your ear. "look like you're ready to snap," he emphasizes with a slight bite to your ear and a light flick of his finger to your clit.

you're so high-strung that pleasure rushes through you at the small gestures, "oh fuck!" you groan, thighs trembling as you uncontrollably buck your hips up. suna grabs your jaw, turning your head towards him and capturing your lips in his. you whimper into his mouth, allowing his tongue to curl around yours. 

"now look," he says, pulling away from you, a string of saliva connecting the two of you like a string of fate. he turns your head, fingers holding your chin, making you look at yourself in the mirror again, and you're a little embarrassed at the lewd scene before you. your clit is on display, puffy, swollen, and desperately begging to be touched again as suna purposefully ignores it, running his fingers through your folds instead and coating them in your slick. the dirty sound of how wet you are makes you leak even more. "since you like challenges, i would like to make one with you." he poses, a long finger shallowly dipping inside you.

"what would that be?" you ask, your voice shaking with need. 

"i bet i can make you come once for every loser boy who failed to make you do so." 

you're so focused on how good he's already making you feel as another finger joins the other, inching inside you at an agonizingly slow pace; you agree to his challenge with no clue of what you've gotten yourself into.

suna, the mischievous boy, meets your gaze with a cheshire cat grin, "excellent."

slipping his fingers out of you, he takes your hand and guides it over your clit. "show me how you touch yourself," he practically purrs, and you sob a little at the loss of his fingers, but you do as he says, rubbing light circles against yourself. his other hand slides down from your face, over your chest and torso, down to your thighs to help keep your legs open for him. you sloppily pick up the pace on your clit and tremble in his hold at the mounting pressure.

"just like that," he coos, pleased with how tantalising you look to him.

"my pretty baby, look at you," he murmurs against your ear. "so filthy touching yourself like this." 

suna slowly rocks himself against your ass, the heat emanating from your skin and the way your plush flesh slides against his cock as you grind into your hand makes him grunt against you. he curls both his hands around your thighs and spreads them obscenely wide, so he can see all of you, his eyes never leaving yours in the mirror as he listens to you pleasure yourself.

"all on display just for me," he hums. "does it feel good, sweetheart?" he utters, his own voice husky and broken. "fuck, you feel perfect grinding against me like that."

it does. 

your fingers feel soo good but not as good as his, so you stop, letting him know of your displeasure. "suna," you cry. You sound so beautifully wrecked, it makes him shiver as heat washes over his body. "oh my fucking god," he whispers to himself before addressing you. "what's wrong, angel?" he asks with a wicked grin, knowing exactly what it is you want right now. Still, he wants to hear you say it. "i-"you pause, trying to get your brain to form a coherent thought. "i need more. i want more."

suna pinches at your inner thigh, "did i tell you to stop?"

you whimper at the sudden sternness in his voice, casting your eyes down, unable to hold his gaze. "n-no."

"so why did you? only good angels get what they want." using his thighs once more to keep your legs open, he brings a hand to your chest, slowly teasing your nipple.

you bring your fingers back to your core and rub lazy circles on yourself again, tears budding in your eyes at the lack of stimulation you really need. you're so close, whimpers and cries falling from your mouth like a prayer. suna just sighs in satisfaction. he thinks you look so adorable like this, evident displeasure clearly written on your face, with your cute little pout, unhappy with his teasing. the tears welling at your waterline threaten to spill just for him. and it made him dizzy, the feeling of power he had over you. his cock throbs at how you so eagerly did what you were told, how easily you listened to him.

"now tell me exactly what you want. use your words." 

and you, tired of being played with, look him in the eye, "i want your fingers, rintarou. i want them inside me. i want you to make me feel good like you said you could supposedly do." 

this isn't the first time he's heard you say his name, but fuck did it sound so sweet in this moment.

"see baby, that wasn't so hard…" he says with a wolfish grin, voice dropping to a low whisper as he pinches your nipple, "was it?"

"look," he says, sliding his other hand over yours, guiding it to press circles into your clit together with his. licking the shell of your ear, he speaks, "see baby? you do it just like this. doesn't that feel good?" you can't say anything, too overtaken by the pleasure. all you can do is bite your lip and nod. 

"keep going just like that," he commands, and you're about to complain again when he suddenly plunges two fingers into you, curling them inside you so perfectly. with his fingers' return, your eyes flutter shut, and your back arches away from his chest with a cry, quiet curses flying from your mouth freely. the hand on your chest twists and pulls your nipples until they're swollen to his liking.

he eyes how you writhe around in his lap, your eyes squeezed shut as you chew on your bottom lip. but suna wants to see your pretty eyes on him, so he delivers a sharp pinch to the swollen bud.

 "pay attention and look at me." 

you slowly open your eyes and lock gazes with his, your whole body quivering from the satisfaction of him thrusting his fingers in and out of you at such a slow pace. you stare at him with lidded eyes, and you're the perfect picture of debauchery; it drives him a little insane.

 makes him want to devour you. 

a sheen of sweat glistens across your body, your chest heaving as you struggle to breathe.

"god, you're so messy," his thrusts slowly stop as you both look at the creamy sheen your wetness leaves all over his fingers, dripping down to his wrists. "look at how well you're taking me. see the way you stretch around me, creaming around my fingers." he rasps, nipping at your shoulders.

'i wish it was my cock." he groans into your skin and bucks his hips up against you, so you bounce in his lap, his voice deep and rough against your ear. fuck, he sounds so sexy, you thought to yourself, finally noticing just how hard he is underneath you. all of that makes you rub at your clit even faster now, the wet sounds your pussy is making filling the room. you feel like your body is on fire as you unconsciously try to push yourself deeper onto suna's fingers, your ass grinding against his cock as you do so. 

"fuck! fuck fuck suna." you cry. "i-shit, i'm so close. so, so close, and i wanna come so bad," you slur, voice trailing off with a frustrated cry, mind delirious with want. 

you look up at him with pleading eyes, and the little "please" that leaves your mouth is so sweet. how could he deny you what you've been so patiently waiting for? sliding in one more finger to join his others and you keen at the feeling of being so stretched out by him. his thumb pushes your fingers away and rubs vicious circles into your clit in their place. the hand on your breast now curls around your jaw, turning your face as suna deeply kisses you. he whines a little at the feeling of your tongue sliding against his, and your breath quickens into him as he curls his fingers just right.

he's entranced by the way you respond to him as he pushes his fingers even deeper inside you, scissoring until they graze along that sweet spot. your body shudders against him, trying to close your legs around his hand, but his firm thighs hold you open, not allowing you. he pulls away, his teeth catching your bottom lip, lightly sucking and chewing on the flesh before letting go with a pop.

"suna fuck, you're gonna make me come. pl- please, i just need a little more." you cry breathlessly into his space, the two of you dizzy from the lack of oxygen. suna chuckles at your fucked out state, "i told you i would make you feel good." he speaks against your lips, and you clench violently around him. you're so wet. you've made a mess of his hand, his lap, and your bed, but you can't bring yourself to care as a familiar warm tickle begins to fill your body, and it hurts. it hurts but feels so good, so good, and you're so fucking close. 

"i know, sweetheart, i know. you just need a little more, don't you?"

his fingers slip out of your cunt again, and you nearly wail at the loss of your fading orgasm, hips bucking up in the air. 

"shh baby," he coos, "don't worry, i told you i'd take care of you." his hands let go of your thighs to rub up and down your torso, trying to calm you down a bit. 

"i had planned to make you come on my fingers and then again on my cock. but you look too fucking good writhing away in my lap for me to wait. i need to be inside you." 

you're so impatient; you need him inside you right now, or you may go mad. "fuck the bet, rin. i want you. i need you." 

he leans down a bit and kisses you once more before grabbing your legs and throwing them over his, your cunt on full display to him in the mirror. gripping his cock, he guides it to your folds and slowly inches his length inside you. "oh fuck! shit, rin, i'm gonna come! i'm gonna come, i'm gonna-" you throw your head back onto his shoulder in a silent scream of ecstasy, your fingers raking red marks down his arms as white-hot pleasure washes over you, traveling from your abdomen, down your legs, and back up. he moans deeply and hisses at the sting. you clamp down impossibly tight on him, immediately coming from the weight of his cock inside you alone before he can even begin to move. 

"ohh fuck!" he groans, throwing his back and forcing himself to breathe as he almost comes too quick from the sudden vice grip you have on him. your body is shaking on top of him, and tears spill from your eyes; that was probably the best orgasm you will ever have. 

"it's ok, baby," he coos as you try to catch your breath, sweet babbles of nothing leaving your lips. "i know, but i need you to relax." thumbing away your tears and the sheen of sweat at your hairline, planting a soft kiss to your cheek. "do you think you can give me one more? i want to come with you this time." you're not sure if your body can handle it, but you want to come with him, and he's made you feel so good, fucking amazing all this time; you want to do the same for him. "i'm not sure rin, but i want to try for you." 

"thank you, angel." With a beaming smile, he passionately kisses you and starts slowly, angling his hips to find that sensitive spot inside you. he knows he's found it when you squeeze around him tightly. he picks up his pace, driving into that one spot, and you loudly mewl, back arching as you bring your hips down to meet his in sloppy, wanton movements.

"fuck baby, you're so wet. look. look at the mess you've made." a large hand pushes your head down, his fingers tangling in your hair, and you both watch the way his cock disappears in your dripping core. "it's like this pussy was made just for me. fuck, creaming around me so well." 

suna is talking to you, but you're not hearing anything he's saying. you're so close to coming again that your release is the only thing on your mind. suna sees how desperate you are for him, how close you are to coming again, so he slides a hand over your clit and toys with the engorged bud. 

"you're so close, aren't you, angel. wanna feel you come around my cock, ok? go ahead and let go, baby." 

he grips both your thighs, slightly lifting you off his lap as he thrusts up into you with an almost animalistic pace, determined to make you fall apart around him again. you're full-on shouting at this point; suna is hitting inside you so deep, abusing that sweet spot unforgivingly. you bring a hand up and behind you to grab at his hair, not knowing what to do as he whispers filthy things in your ear.

"come on, baby, you feel so good around me, hugging my cock so tight. but i want you to come for me. wanna feel you squeeze around me as you let go. i want you to make me come." 

those words are all you need. your eyes roll back, and you cum almost instantly, your walls fluttering around his thick cock as squeals of his name roll off your tongue and ring in his ears like a bell toll. suna swears he never wants to hear anyone but you say his name like that again. he watches in fascination at how you squirt all over his length, and the sight alone sends suna hurtling over the edge. he drops your legs, a harsh grip on your hips as he slams up into you, his praises of how tight you're squeezing around his cock and taking his cum so well buzz around your head. he watches how your face lewdly slacks with overwhelming pleasure at the feeling of him filling you up, your body twitching in his hold as choked moans spill freely from your lips. once he's emptied himself inside you, he slows his thrusts to a stop, and your body, now spent from coming twice, slumps against him. 

laboured breaths and the quiet smack from the light kisses suna leaves along your neck and shoulder are the only sounds in the room. after calming down for a moment, suna pulls out of you with a hiss, his cock slightly twitching at the sight of his come spilling out of you. you cry at the feeling, suddenly feeling so sore and exhausted and overstimulated. he gently kisses your temple, "it's ok, sweetheart," he murmurs. "fuck—you did so well. you were perfect for me." he moves you both farther into the bed, leaning against the headboard, and lays you down on his chest, the skin-to-skin contact and the sound of his heart calming you down. he brings a hand up to your hair and runs his fingers along your scalp, his other hand running along your back; you feel so relaxed you could fall asleep. 

"you weren't lying." you quietly say. 

"lying about what?" he asks, looking at you confused. 

you turn in his hold to look up at him. "well, not only did you make me come, you made me come twice and managed to make me squirt. no one has ever done that before. i've never even made myself do that before." 

suddenly, gone is the sweet, tender suna of one minute ago, a sly smile appearing on his face. 

"well, i did tell you that i would make you feel things those losers could only dream of making you feel." with a tired smile, you turn back around, snuggling into his chest and playing with his fingers. 

"so that means you won the bet. what do you want for your prize?" suna gently slides you off of him and gets out of bed, shamelessly stretching his naked -albeit impressive, body before you. 

"well, it involves me and you and a date. that's if you'll go on one with me?" a shy but hopeful look taking over his features. "ok. on one condition though." looking at you inquisitively, suna asks, "what do you want?"  

"carry me to the shower? please," you whine, a sheepish and embarrassed look on your face. suna merely laughs at you, equal parts proud he fucked you so good you can't walk and delighted that you agreed to go out with him. "i think that can be arranged." he says before climbing back into bed and covering your face with kisses.

[rommahh]

I Carry Your Heart

Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4k

{Ahhhh ok so this is my first work like ever. There will definitely be a second part because ive got more to say and it needs a second part. I hope whoever sees and reads this imagine enjoys it. I appreciate comments, likes, reblogs, ideas on what could go into the story, and any form of help and redirection as to how i should write things. Much love, R.}.

Part two

All Y/N wanted tonight was to hang out with her boyfriend, eat a mass amount of junk food, and watch a marvel movie or two. That was all she wanted and that was all she asked of her boyfriend. Instead of any of that happening, she found herself sitting on the nasty kitchen island of her boyfriend's frat at a party that she was trying to avoid going to.

This party was supposedly ‘the party of the year.’ The last rager before finals and then christmas break. Y/N had spent the whole week studying and finishing up end of semester projects hence the want for a chill night. When Harry came to her saying his frat was throwing a party tonight and that he just HAD to be here, Y/N didn't feel like she had a choice but to let him go. She came because she thought this would be the only time she would be able to have some time with Harry after a long week of barely seeing each other. With two vastly different majors, the couple wasnt able to find a lot of time in the middle of school work to make time for just the two of them. Obviously her hopes of quality time with her man were futile because here she was sitting by herself in the kitchen of the frat while Harry drank and got high with his friends in other parts of the house.

Of course she was disappointed. She felt a knot in her throat and a weight on her chest just sitting there in that kitchen. Her white claw was warm now- not that it was any cold when she opened it. She was starting to form a small headache from the too loud music and the ache in her heart was growing.

She stood from the countertop on the search for her boyfriend, hoping he wasn't too far gone from sober. Wiping the back of her jeans from anything that was left on the island, she began walking around the house. She doesn't remember the last time the two of them spent time together by themselves. Of course they occasionally ate dinner together in the dining hall but they were normally surrounded by friends. Y/N wanted to be alone with her boyfriend to talk and bask in his presence.

After pushing through groups of partying humans, she found Harry and at least ten other people sitting around playing some sort of drinking game.

“Y/N! Where have you been?” Luca, one of Harry's frat brothers yelled out to her from the circle. Luca was cool, he was one of the only tolerable boys in this frat aside from Harry. Hearing his girlfriend's name, Harry turned around from where he sat on the ground and reached out for his girlfriend to sit beside him. Much to Y/N’s dismay, Harry was wasted. His eyes were half mass and his words bumped and slurred together. “We are playing truth or dare, wanna play?” Luca asked.

“I don't wanna play but Ill sit and watch.” Sitting next to her boyfriend, she grabbed one of his hands holding it in her lap. She was annoyed at him but it did her no good to show it when he was this drunk.

This game of truth or dare was childish. Dares of licking people's shoes and taking multiple shots had been done and truths about money and relationships were being spilled among the group. It had finally become Harry’s turn to do something, making Y/N tense.

“Ok Harry, I dare you to…” One drunk frat boy started looking around the room trying to come up with something clever. His eyes landed on a pretty girl in the room, Yara, a stuck up girl who for sure got her way no matter what. “I dare you to kiss the hottest girl in the room- obviously not your girlfriend because that defeats the purpose.” The frat boy smirked knowing what his intentions were. Everyone in the group giggles and gasped shocked by the dare but ready to see what was going to go down. Y/N’s brows furrowed as she became angry with the stupid dare.

The ache in her chest seemed to tip over the edge when she felt her boyfriend in the room move to stand up. She grabbed at the bottom of his shirt as a way of stopping him. Harry halted his movements to look down at his girlfriend. He giggled a little.

“You’re not actually going to do this right?” She asked Harry with wide eyes of shock. Harry laughed at her like she made a joke, making her heart hurt even more.”Harry I do not want you to do this just take the shot and lose the dare.” Her tone held warning.

“Don't be silly of course I'm going to. It's just a dare, nothing serious. Don't be so clingy.” He stood walking over to Yara and planted a wet kiss on her mouth. Yara gripped Harry’s shirt and kissed him harder. The kiss went on for a few more seconds, the room absolutely silent out of shock. Harry stepped back from Yara slightly sobering up from his actions. Yara smirked at Y/N, hand gliding down the front of Harry's shirt.

Y/N stood from the seat she was in and scoffed. Scoffed because she should've known Harry would do something like this. Scoffed because it hurt to see her boyfriend do something so careless without any regard for his girl's feelings. She pulled herself together, feeling her throat tighten once again. She was quick to leave the room and down the hall of the frat.

Harry's clumsy steps could be heard from behind her as he mumbled her name. Or at least he tried to. He was still so out of it, his words not making much sense. Y/N was crying now, the strength that she had slowly dissolving as she walked further away from her boyfriend.

“Y/N wait. P-please wait. I cant-” Harry stumbled over his legs behind her falling into the grass of the front yard. The girl couldn't help but turn around looking at her stupid boyfriend. She was choking on sobs now. She wasn't crying over a measly little kiss but over an extreme amount of burnout from school and exhaustion from simply existing. She was crying because her boyfriend ignored her boundaries, crushing and erasing the boundaries she had set in their relationship. Harry tried reaching for her once she had stopped walking. His hand clasped around her wrist, he laid his head down on her shoulder. He hated seeing her cry even if he was too drunk to see why.

“Baby don't leave, Im-Im Sorry.” He hiccuped and burped due to the alcohol. Y/N felt her rage build. Shoving Harry off of her, she crossed her arms across her chest as a way to shield herself from Harry physically. He was hurt by her distance and the wall she put up around her.

“You're an idiot Harry. An idiot!” her sobs grew louder, some stray party goers watching in amusement- some even snapchatting it for shits and giggles. “I didnt want you to kiss her and you did. What provoked you to think that was ok? All I wanted was for us to hang out tonight and just be us and you did this!” She was yelling now. Her hurt is beyond her now. Anger and rage simmered throughout her body making her head dizzy and her fingers curl within themselves. She didnt like being angry. It wasn't an emotion she liked acting on, it felt impersonal.

“Baby I don't under-” Before Harry could finish his sentence he was barfing at his feet. Y/N stepped back disgusted with her boyfriend. She couldn't even feel remorseful because of how angry she was. Luca, the frat brother from earlier, caught up with Harry and his girl only to find Harry doubled over heaving. Luca wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders.

“I'm sorry Luca but I can't do this tonight. Can you please make sure he gets some water and goes to bed. I-I can't do it tonight, I wish I could but I can't.” Y/N didn't want to leave her boyfriend in this state but she didn't deserve this. She wasn't going to care for her drunk boyfriend when all she wanted to do was care for herself. Selfishly, she enjoyed seeing him this way because of the anger he caused her.

Luca shook his head in understandment. “Of course, I'm really sorry for tonight. He's going to seriously regret this in the morning, especially since it will be circulating all over snapchat in the morning.” Luca waved to Y/N then proceeded to pull Harry into the house. Harry called out for Y/N not wanting to be away from her but Luca pulled him harder.

Harry woke up the next morning feeling like the bottom of a dumpster. He wasn't shocked by that. He knew he got trashed last night, he had planned to. He, just like Y/N, spent all week studying and completing projects while also fulfilling certain responsibilities for his frat. He wanted one night to be a normal teen. So he drank and drank and drank and maybe even smoked some weed. As he tried to recall last night's events he came up with nothing. He didn't understand why Y/N wasn't here with him like she normally would after a party on the weekend. They were normally always together during the weekend. A bad feeling loomed over him. He could tell something wasn't right but decided to put his feelings to the side.

He saw a bottle of water beside his bed making him think she was probably here and left early. Chugging the water he started to go through his socials to see if anyone had posted about the party. He had multiple tagged pics and videos in his notifications from snapchat. Way more than he normally would.

The first video he saw was a video of him and Y/N standing in the front yard of the frat house. Turning the volume all the way up he could hear Y/N yelling, it shocked him. She doesn't normally raise her voice, especially not at him. The angle changed showing her face which was red with anger, eyes filled with unshed tears. He could hear her yelling about him kissing someone else. He felt his heart stop. He had kissed someone else? On the next snap was a picture of him keeled over vomiting on his shoes with the caption saying, ‘are yall seeing this shit?’ Harry was embarrassed but he was more concerned than anything.

His head was hurting but it didn't stop him from rolling out of bed, washing up, and putting on a fresh set of clothes. He checked his phone hoping Y/N had messaged him but nothing was there. He walked into the kitchen only to see luca sitting at the counter eating cereal.

“Hey Harry….” Luca said warily. Luca pushed the cereal around his bowl feeling the tension begin to rise in the room. He felt horrible about his friends.

“Luca...what's up?” Harry was confused by Lucas' wariness.

“So do you remember anything about last night?” Luca asked, setting his cereal down in the sink behind him. Harry started playing with the frayed edges of a bracelet Y/N made for him. It had little beads with her name on it. They made them together at an event on campus.

“I don't, I only saw the videos of Y/N screaming at me. I think I fucked up but I- I don't know what happened.” Harry's cheek flushed with even more embarrassment. Luca awkwardly chuckled scratching the back of his neck.

“You got dared to kiss the hottest girl in the room and um actually did it in front of Y/N...even though she didn't want you to. Which led you guys outside and yeah you know the rest...Im sorry dude, I wish I had stopped you.”

“Who- who did I kiss?” Harrys stomach lurched when he heard Yara’s name come out of Lucas' name. Y/N didn't like Yara and it was understandable. Yara has been pining after Harry since their first year of college. Harry couldn't breathe. He felt disgusted with himself. He could only imagine how Y/N was feeling.

Y/N woke up the same morning, eyes puffy and crusty from tears and head hurting. She probably cried herself into dehydration. She was lucky enough to have no roommate because she wouldn't have wanted someone else to see her breakdown. She still couldn't believe last night went down the way it went down. She couldn't tell if she was just being overdramatic or if her emotions were in the right place. She didn't want to be mad at Harry. He was everything to her, she had an odd connection to him. Meeting him during their freshman welcome week they quickly became best friends with a growing romantic connection in the mix. They started dating before Christmas break. They had grown close so fast that he even came home with her to meet her family for the first few days of break.  Even though they were in their junior year of college, Y/N could see them beyond college. She's imagined them getting married, travelling, sharing a home. She saw the whole future with him. She had her doubts though. He was immature just like every other boy in college. He was dumb with his actions and tended to only do things if they benefited him. He had a lot of growing to do as a person, so did she but she wanted to grow with him.

She heard a knock on her door hesitating to answer it because one, it could be Harry, and two, she looked like a wreck. Answering anyways, she was met with a very sorry looking Harry holding a small coffee and bagel from their cafe.

“Hi baby…” He sheepishly said holding out the items. She silently let him through the door not once looking him in the eye. He stepped into her room, setting her treats on her desk. He could see that her bed was messy meaning she recently woke up. Y/N never went about her day without making her bed. He turned back to her and finally their eyes met. He took in all of her facial features, from her puffy eyes, to her downturned lips that looked chapped, to her flushed cheeks that longed to be held for warmth. He hated to see her like this, the last time he saw her so upset was when her parents moved out of her childhood home. It took alot to make Y/N this upset. She was normally really headstrong and vigilant. She knew how to ease her way out of problematic situations and could talk her way through anything.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Y/N holding her hand up in front of his face. “Don't talk. I'm really hurt Harry, so if your plan was to come over here and apologize over bagels- think again.” She snapped, backing up to put space between the two of them. She sat down on her bed while Harry pulled the desk chair out and sat down. He much preferred to be on the bed with her holding her tight but he didn't want to overstep boundaries.

“Love, I don't know where to begin. I'm really sorry for what happened last night. I was really drunk and obviously wasn't in the right headspace.” Harry reached out and touched the tips of her fingers with his. She wanted to move but it felt good to be touched by Harry.

“I told you that a measly little apology won't do Harry. I didn't want you to kiss Yara and you did anyway. You know how Yara feels about you and you just let it happen!” She pulled her hand away remembering the prior night's events. Harry felt himself getting angry too. He felt like he needed to defend himself- even though it would be a very bad idea.

“I think you're being over dramatic.” Wrong move Harry. “It wasn't like I was making out with her!”

“You're joking right?” She scoffed and scooted further up her bed to create more distance. “Harry it's the simple fact that you did something that made me uncomfortable that shouldn't have even happened. I see myself getting married to you and it makes me worry that right now in our relationship you can't respect my boundaries!” She yelled. Harry’s eyes widened as he laughed sarcastically.

“Married? What the fuck are you on about? I'm a junior in college. In what world would it make sense for me to be prepping a relationship for marriage? Once again I think you're being over dramatic.” Her eyes watered hearing Harry's statement.

“I- I guess I'm the only one in this relationship thinking about the future? I thought we were on the same page. I'm not planning our marriage now, obviously. I'm thinking about how elements of our relationship now could play out in the future when we do want to get married. You cheated on me last night. I went to a party you begged ME to go to only to be there for you. I wanted to be here cuddling with you, pigging out on fast food but I was at a party with you and got cheated on!” Her volume rises once again, making Harry shove his chair from underneath him when he stands up.

“You're doing too much right now. I'm not planning a future right now because I don't want this future! I want to be myself without thinking about how to appease my girlfriend. I invited you to the party so you could lighten the fuck up. I love you, I do, but I'm not thinking of marriage and futures. I'm thinking about my life right now and having fun.” Harry snapped right back at her. Her chin wobbled. Obviously her and Harry were on different pages. It hurt so much to hear him say that he didn't want a future with her. Harry didn't mean it though.

“Ok, well I guess that's my fault for assuming we were thinking along the same lines. Um, I don't want to hold you back from being yourself so with that being said, you are a free man Harry.” She pushed herself up from her bed walking to the door ready to escort Harry out.

“Huh? Love, what?” Harry was confused on how they got to this point. Just a few days ago they were in love, meeting in the library to share a lunch and exchanging sweet words determined by their love.

“Listen I have a day full of exams tomorrow so if you could just leave that would be best. You don't really want this so I'm letting you go, Harry.” She had tears rolling down her face, falling from her eyes down to her chin where they fell to the ground in droplets. Harry’s eyes welled up watching his love cry before him.

“I don't-”

“Harry, leave, please.” She opened the door making room for him to go through. He walked through the door turning to look at her. She turned her face away from him whispering a small goodbye before shutting the door. Harry was left in the silent hallway, so silent he could hear his thoughts and the tears hitting the tile floor beneath him. He thinks he stood there for at least thirty more minutes before accepting what had happened and walking away.

Leaving Y/N in her room sobbing like she had never done before. Her tears coated her face and she thought her head could explode right then and there. She didn't want to accept what had happened but she had priorities. She composed herself enough to start studying for her exams.

The week rolled by quickly, Monday meeting Friday in a flash. Exams were done and Christmas break was on the horizon. Students were piling off of campus in a hurry ready to get home to their loved ones. People were outside by cars loading up their winter necessaries and saying their goodbyes to their close friends.

Harry cried everyday this week. He wasn't normally a crier. He hated crying, he hated the feeling of crying and the headache that came from it. He cried because he realized how wrong he was. He missed Y/N. He missed finals week dinner together where they tried to get off campus at least once and be alone for a moment. He missed watching her relax while eating food that wasn't from their school's cafeteria. He would pay for their meal just so she could have one less thing to worry about. They would normally get frozen yogurt right after too, Y/N getting as many toppings as she wanted because Harry would be the one paying. He missed her tight after exam hugs. She would squeeze his shoulders tight, smiling into his neck, telling him how proud she was of him. She would bring him tea in the morning when they met for breakfast. Sometimes they would spend the night in one or the others room so they could have time together to destress and just talk.

Y/N wasn't doing any better. She normally went into exam week feeling confident. She studied too hard not to. But this week she felt like shit. Her heart hurt and she kept thinking about the fight. She feels like she overreacted but hearing Harry talk about their lack of a future hurt nonetheless. She really assumed that they did have a future that included marriage and a life together. She didn't understand where his sudden lack of commitment came from. She regretted dumping him but at the same time she wished he did more to get them back together but he was silent. He hasn't contacted her at all and avoided all of their spots on campus all together.

She stood by her car prepping for her six hours car ride back home. Packing away her clothes and some essentials in the trunk of her car, she heard light footsteps behind her. Closing her trunk she turned to see Harry standing with his hands in his pockets.  

“Hi.” He said. She looked at him, putting her own hands in her pockets. It was cold outside, the nippy air hinting at a possibility of snow.

“Hi Harry.” They shared a moment of silence together. Just staring at each other. It felt good to be near each other again. They felt like they could breathe again.

“I had to see you before you left. I know the break is only a month but I didn't want to leave without seeing you.” He replied quietly. She made him feel so shy. Her beauty always made him awestruck. Even in a hoodie with their college's logo and some large sweatpants and some fuzzy crocs, she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

“I don't know what to say harry.”

“It's ok. I don't deserve anything from you after what I said. I just wanted to apologize and wish you a good break before you left. I also wanted to give you this.” He pulled a small box and envelope out of the front pocket of his backpack. “I know we agreed on no presents but I think thats a dumb rule and I love you too much to not get you something.” She smiled at his words, taking the gift from his hands.

“Thank you Harry, it means a lot to me. So what are your plans for a break?” She asked him, the tension that was in the air slowly dissipating.

“I couldn't get a flight home until next wednesday so i'll stay here on campus until then.” He shrugged.

“Oh ok. Well tell Anne I said hi. I have to go Harry but I'll see you after the break, ok?” She didn't want to leave him but she didn't want to drive through the dark.

“Ok, love. Drive safe. I lov- I mean have a good break.” Her chest tightened at his hesitation. She wants to hear him say the words but she knows he won't.

“Have a good break Harry.” She whispered. Before getting in her car she stood on her toes placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Rubbing her thumb across his cheek and turning away and into her car.

She drove away knowing that her heart was left in that parking lot in the hands of someone she loves way too much.

Harry stood in the parking lot watching his heart drive away for winter wanting nothing more than to be with her.

Part two

[highqueenofelfhame]

fafs, twenty-two

masterlist // rowaelin au // 4k words follow @highqueenofelfhamewrites​ and turn on post notifs for updates! i don’t do a tag list anymore because it’s too time consuming and doesn’t work half the time.  thank you to @punkassbookjockey26​ and @westofmoon​ for help with this one! ash had a great idea featured in here and katie is always my little editing faerie that makes my writing loads better.

AND WE’RE BACK! first things first i do not know when the next update will be, this wasn’t even supposed to happen anytime soon but i missed it and them and here we are. i wrote it so quickly it’s a little weird. i also had a major hiccup with google docs during the editing process so if you notice any extremely wonky typos or sentences, please dm me about it so i can fix it. i think i got it all but i’m unsure and nervous lol. also-- i can’t believe this fic is 86k words. it’s the longest thing i’ve ever written and i am just very proud of myself and this fic. i hope you guys are still excited and eager to read this story, and i hope you enjoy!

Waking up with Aelin’s body still tangled with his after a day of complete and utter ravishing was a luxury that Rowan never wanted to give up. Her golden hair was splayed across the pillow with her face turned toward him. The sunlight illuminated her body’s  soft curves and hard muscles, and he didn’t stop himself from exploring her skin with his fingertips. 

In sleep, her face was smooth and void of concern, worry, or anxiety. She looked so calm like this, and Rowan desperately wished he could bring that same sort of peace to her reality. Most of the time, when she was awake, when the facade of the swaggering assassin fell away, there was still a tightness in her jaw and a sharp coiling to her muscles. Like she was always on alert. Even when she was quick with her wit and sharp tongue, he knew that part of her was still always lying in wait. 

Rowan knew she’d never known a day of peace in her life. Maybe before everything had happened with her parents, but ever since she was a young girl, the explosion of chaos that wrecked every day had sharpened her into a blade. It was paranoia. It was spending her life peering around corners before she walked out because any number of people could have been waiting to take her down.

But when she was asleep, she looked younger. The romantic in him thought she looked like an angel, but he was sure if he voiced that out loud, she would adamantly disagree. Still, she was so beautiful. Any hour of the day, she was the most immaculate thing he had ever seen, and he loved her. 

Love. When he had said it yesterday, something had changed on her face. It wasn’t anything he could quite place— he was sure he saw relief, adoration, and love on her face. Yet, there had been tension to her mouth when he kissed her. It had confused him, but she had seemed so wholly blissful the rest of the day it had been easy to push from the forefront of his mind. It had been a day of cooking together, watching movies, and completely ignoring those movies to peel their clothes off and drown in the feeling of one another. They’d had yet another coupling before drifting off into deep sleep, and Rowan had muttered the words between her shoulder blades seconds before falling into oblivion. Aelin had squeezed his hand in response, but at no point yesterday had she said it out loud.

Not that he needed her to. Rowan saw her for everything that she was. He knew about lives she’d taken, about the blood that stained her soul. He knew that sick, fleshy slap had been Arobynn’s heart hitting the ground, seconds after Aelin had succeeded in cutting it from his chest. None of that scared him— Rowan knew he had no reason to fear the woman that shared his bed. Yesterday had been tangible proof of that, that she was willing to further darken her soul to keep him safe. He would do the same with no hesitation. Rowan would follow Aelin Galathynius to the ends of the earth if it meant being with her. 

But he sensed some hesitation. He could see it in her face and feel it in the way her hands had stuttered over his skin. Despite that, Rowan knew that she loved him. If he was to believe the feeling in his gut, she had felt that way for a while now. Perhaps he had just said those damned words too soon. 

His thoughts were brought to a pause as she roused from sleep, bare legs shifting against his. Beneath the sheets, her body arched as she chased away the stiffness in her limbs, toes pointing while they ran down his calf. It took a solid thirty seconds for her eyes to blink open, the morning sun casting brilliant light within them. Rowan couldn’t help himself and leaned down to press the softest of kisses to her mouth. 

“I need to shower,” she whispered, voice thick with sleep as the heel of her hands dug into her eyes. Rowan watched quietly, letting her drag her body awake while his knuckles brushed over her ribs. 

“I have to go into the office for a few hours. They have some questions for me that I’m sure they’ll have for you, too. But I told them to give you another day to rest.”

“You were kidnapped and drugged. I hardly need another day to decompress,” she countered, sitting up and reaching for his shirt at the edge of the bed. Rowan watched while she tugged it on and flipped her hair out from the collar. 

“It was a long day for you, too.”

“I can handle it.” Taught tension strung the words together as they hung between them. It was so close to coming across as snappy, and she seemed to realize it as she looked over her shoulder at him and gave him a tight smile. “But if you think I should wait until tomorrow, I’ll wait until tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” he said, relief flooding him to his toes. Instead of saying anything, Aelin merely hummed in response and disappeared into the bathroom. In truth, he’d wanted to talk with Lorcan first and see what was going on after his curt summons an hour ago. If anything negative was going to come of what had transpired over the last few days, Rowan wanted to know, and he wanted to be able to give Aelin any heads up that he could. 

As he heard the sounds of water thumping against the tile of the shower, Rowan stretched his own body out in his bed. Focusing on the ceiling fan above him, he flipped through the Rolodex of his memory to recount everything that had happened in the last few years the best that he could. 

Everything had started at the gala where  he’d first met Aelin. Their casual friendship came after, followed by a relationship that blossomed over several months. And when Sam had been killed, and he found Celaena Sardothien left for dead in a warehouse,the truth had slowly unraveled. Anger had been the first thing he’d felt, followed by betrayal. Losing the woman he’d known as Lilian had forced him through grief as if she’d died. 

And in a way, she had. But Rowan also knew that the woman he loved was one and the same. It was the same heart beating under his fingertips, the same lips he ached to kiss. Aelin had made more than one comment lately about burying Celaena Sardothien somewhere that no one could ever find her, paired with a sardonic laugh that made it sound like a joke. But some days, he couldn’t figure out if there was truth in that statement. If she was going to try to run to escape the terrors that she’d endured over the last few years. 

His fingers raked through his hair as he threw his legs over the side of the bed and made for his closet.He went through the motions of putting on a suit for work, his mind still caught up on Aelin. Despite knowing she wouldn’t run, there was still that fear there. Rowan just wasn’t sure what he was more scared of - the law catching up with her or the pain of being left behind. 

~*~

It wasn’t good. In fact, it was worse than terrible. He’d known it from the second he’d stepped into the conference room and noticed the files stacked on the tables. There had been no reason to read the labels. He already knew that every file was a different assassination that Aelin had committed. From what he could tell as he lowered into a seat, this was a meeting about what they could do to finally convict Celaena Sardothien. 

It had gotten worse as soon as Lorcan started talking. There had been no beating around the bush about what everyone wanted to happen. Maeve was even sitting in at the head of the table while everyone on Rowan’s team chimed in about different cases they had studied and what details could potentially be used for evidence against her. To his credit, Rowan managed to stay silent the majority of the meeting and only spoke when he was required.

But as soon as everyone had filed out and the door clicked shut, Lorcan had said the one thing Rowan had been hoping he wouldn’t ever hear.

“We want you to testify against her.” The sentence sent a powerful jolt of dread through his body, and his hands began to shake against his thighs. He curled them into tight fists and turned his gaze to the window. Rifthold was bustling beneath them, no one having a single clue that they wanted his testimony to lock away the love of his life.

“Look,” Lorcan said, leaning forward on his elbows. “I’ve let you carry out whatever dangerous, kinky fantasy you wanted to play with and kept my mouth shut about it. You’re an idiot if you think I don’t know where she stays most of the time or if I don’t see how you’ve started to look at her. But she’s a murderer. One that you put behind bars not too long ago. One that I know you’ve been getting closer to, and I thought she might tell you something that would help our case. That’s why I let it happen because we need whatever she tells you when she thinks she’s safe to really be able to put her away.”

“She doesn’t tell me anything useful about the case.” It was only partially a lie. He knew some of her secrets, some of her darkest and heavily guarded ones. But there was a lot of information that she never told him because it could be used against her. 

“I think we both know that’s bullshit. You’re playing house with her, for gods' sake. I know she’s told you at least one thing that would be useful, and you have to wake up at some point, Rowan. You aren’t doing yourself any favors by deluding yourself into thinking you can have a future with her. She’s a murderer. She’s a con artist. She’s a thief. She is just biding her time before she slits your throat in the middle of the night and—”

“That’s enough.” 

“When we call you to testify, you’ll be under oath. You can’t lie, and if you pull this same bullshit in court that you’re trying to pull with me right now, I will personally make sure you’re locked up for it.”

“Like a good friend,” he snarked, eyes hard as he looked back over at someone he had considered a friend at one point. Maybe not now. Not when he was hellbent on locking Aelin away by using his own words against him.

“If you want to ruin your own life, that’s on you. Don’t try to pin that on me.” Rowan’s jaw clenched while he stared at Lorcan, the darkness in his eyes having nothing to do with their color. “I’m not a fool. I know she was somehow linked to what happened to Elide, and you are insane if you think I’m going to let her walk around and do it again.” 

The temper he had been keeping on a tight leash was slipping. His nails were digging painfully into his palms as the vein in his forehead pulsed. If Lorcan was looking for his body language, he might notice how hard his heart was beating based on the throbbing of the artery in his neck. He might see the rigidity in Rowan’s jaw and the anger flaring in his green eyes. 

“Aelin didn’t have anything to do with what happened to Elide, and you are too clouded by your judgment to see a clear picture. By ignoring the facts, you aren’t protecting her. You’re using it as leverage to get a leg up in your career, so if you want to talk about who is putting Elide in danger, look in the mirror.” There was a sharpness to his tone that he couldn’t keep hidden, one that had Lorcan’s shoulders tensing as he clenched a pen in his fist. 

“You can tell me all you want that your little girlfriend didn’t try to kill my fiancée, but I don’t buy it. If it wasn’t directly by her hand, she had some part in it, and I will not let that happen again.” If Aelin knew what Lorcan was saying, the guilt would eat her alive. It already had been. He had seen her jolt awake in the middle of the night so many times from the deaths that fell on her head. He had spent too much time chasing away the nightmares, too much time holding her hand while she cried about what had happened to everyone she had ever loved.

“You protect what’s yours, and I’ll protect what’s mine.” Rowan couldn’t have said it more plainly if he tried. There was no surprise on Lorcan’s face, however. He merely sat back in his chair with a slight smirk pulling at his lips. When all was said and done, and Rowan looked back on the argument, he might not have a clue who had the upper hand. There was no telling from where he sat who had won.

“When this all falls apart and bites you in the ass, I can’t wait to see what you say about her in court.” 

Rowan said little else before leaving the conference room and exiting the building altogether. Every muscle in his body screamed at him to hit something, anything. He had half a mind to go back inside and lay Lorcan out on his ass for everything he’d insinuated about Aelin. Even the brick of the office building would satiate his need to hit something as hard as Lorcan’s head. 

His day really couldn’t get much worse than how it had gone so far, he decided. Aelin had seemed almost distant this morning, barely returning the kiss he gave her before he left his apartment. Now he was expected to plot behind her back, a move that would lock her away forever. Trying not to dwell on the verdict, he took his time walking to his car, flipping his keys over his finger to give his hands something to do. 

Life in prison wasn’t the worst her sentence could be. Rowan already knew that if she was found guilty, the penalty very well could be death. 

~*~

Undeserving. Aelin Galathynius was wholly undeserving of the way Rowan looked at her when she woke up. Despite her heart fluttering in her chest when she saw his expression, her veins had flooded with ice. It had been easier to pretend everything was fine yesterday after he’d uttered those words to her. It had been easy to keep dragging him back to bed to avoid talking, to avoid her own feelings bubbling to the surface. Feelings that she was doing her damnedest to keep choked down but wasn’t sure how much longer they could stay locked up. The warmth of his body pressing against hers had almost been enough to thaw out her bones. Yet when she woke up and saw that look on his face, a heavy weight had dropped back into the pit of her stomach. 

So after he left, she’d carefully packed all of her clothes into a small duffel bag she found in the top of Rowan’s closet. Every shirt she’d brought had been folded into tiny squares the same way she had folded away her feelings. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t love Rowan. She did. It was the most overwhelming thing she had ever felt, making every part of her body ache. Yet, she refused to let herself feel it. She refused to let him feel it while so much was on the line. It wasn’t just their hearts; it was everything. His life, his jobs, his friends, his soul. How much would Rowan compromise to keep her safe? How much would he wash down the drain to save her from the fate that awaited her? She had already lost everyone and everything that there was for her to lose, but she couldn’t be the reason why Rowan lost everything, too. Not when she was so undeserving of the love that radiated from him. 

Not when she had a ledger so crimson and bloody that it would never be clean. Her soul was marred with scars of every life she had ever taken. Those people had stopped breathing by her hands, and she would be damned if the same thing happened to him. He’d already been kidnapped because of her. She didn’t believe any of the bullshit Arobynn had spewed about her being a pawn. If anything, he was trying to make her hesitate long enough to let him live so she could dig for answers. 

But she knew Arobynn. Knew he was a liar. Knew everything he did and said was to save his own hide and prolong his useless life. She had seen him do it again and again, and when it came down to it, she wasn’t willing to let him say anything in his defense. If Rowan hadn’t said her name and pulled her from that blind rage, Aelin may have gone as far as to cut his tongue out just to ensure that even in whatever hell he burned for eternity in, he could never speak another word. 

No, everything had been because of her. All the pain her loved ones had felt while they bled out on the ground. Rowan kidnapped and drugged and left with bruises speckling his body. And she refused to let it go on any longer.

“What’s this?” Aelin’s eyes moved to the front door where Rowan now stood. She hadn’t even heard it open or close, so caught up in her plan to get out of there as quickly as possible. There was a rigidity to his body that had been mirrored in his tone. Compared to how Rowan had seemed yesterday and this morning, he looked like a wire ready to snap. Confusion weighed heavy between his brows, and the color seemed to be slipping from his cheeks.

“I’m going back to my apartment. Without an imminent threat, I don’t need to be here anymore.” It was the truth of the situation but not of her heart. She hoped her voice was steady and convincing enough. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked, kneeling before where she was perched on the end of his bed. The duffel bag was full beside her, and she didn’t miss how his eyes focused on it before looking back at her face. 

“Yep.”

“Aelin.”  So many emotions flickered through her name when it tumbled from his lips. Frustration and concern seemed to be the most obvious, perhaps a bit of anxiety. Exhaustion. Worry. Irritation. It was difficult to pick out which ones were aimed at her. For his sake, she forced herself to smile. 

“I just don’t want you to get in trouble with me being here all the time.”

“I don’t care about that.” A pang of sadness ricocheted through her body. That he truly didn’t care about the consequences of being with her because he thought he loved her. 

“I know you don’t, but I do,” she said simply. Her smile vanished as he gave a curt nod and rose to his feet with a sigh. The fingers that had spent hours memorizing every inch of her body only yesterday raked through his hair roughly. The meeting hadn’t gone well; she could tell without asking. 

“Do you want me to help you carry the bag back?” The words sounded tired and heavy, escaping on the end of a sigh. His body language told her he would rather not be having this conversation and the way he put more space between them to lean against the bathroom door made it even worse. 

“No. I could use a walk anyway.” She had told herself all day that it would be easier if he didn’t put up much of a fight and try to persuade her into staying. Still…when he didn’t object any further, it felt like a confirmation that maybe he hadn’t meant to say what he’d said yesterday. Maybe it had been a slip of the tongue while he was delirious from pleasure. 

It made it easier that he walked her to the door and just let her leave, but it didn’t hurt any less when he didn’t at least try to kiss her goodbye. 

~*~

“You look like shit,” was the first thing Nox said when Aelin opened the door to her tiny apartment. Eyes rolling, she let him in and scooped the takeout bags from his hand, heading for the couch. Pride and Prejudice played on the television while she dug into her container of Chinese takeout. Making himself at home, Nox kicked his shoes off by the door and soon dropped to sit beside her to eat his own dinner. “You wanna talk about it?”

“I want to eat my food and chase it with the bottle of rum you said you’d bring.” There was little inflection to her voice while she spoke around a mouthful of food. 

“Is this about the suit?”

“I literally just said that I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You actually didn’t answer my question; you deflected, which is kind of cowardly if you ask me. I didn’t think Celaena Sardothien was scared of anything, least of all a conversation about her feelings.” His words hit their mark, gnawing at her mind the way her teeth did her cheek. Turning them over in her mind, her eyes blurred on the meal in her hands. Celaena, perhaps, wasn’t scared of anything. She could walk into any situation and leave the victor, compartmentalizing any feelings she had into perfectly wrapped packages that she could assess at a later date. 

Aelin wasn't that person, though. These days her feelings were a hurricane ravaging her soul, and she couldn't escape them. Not anymore. 

When she had ripped Arobynn’s heart from his chest, she had expected to feel content. There was a peace she thought would crash over her in waves, like his heart no longer beating would soothe the darkest parts of her,soul. Instead, there had only been a sharp ringing in her ears while she held the fleshy mass in her hands, an emptiness that she had never felt before crushing in on all sides. It may as well have been her own death. Maybe that’s what it would take for her to feel at peace.

“Celaena.” Nox’s voice followed a jab to her shoulder with his finger, and she whipped her head around to look at him. “What is it? What’s wrong?” 

Her heart was beating so hard she could barely hear his voice. It almost sounded like she was underwater. It took several more thumps of her heart to focus on his face, and she didn’t realize that her cheeks were wet until he brushed at them with his thumb. Truthfully, she ached to tell someone, anyone, about the turmoil that ravaged her. But Rowan was the only person that knew her for everything that she was. He was the only person, save for Arobynn, that knew her true identity. And Rowan was the last person she could get herself to be fully honest with today. Nox didn’t know the truth; he was on a  need-to-know basis. There was just no accounting for how he might react if she told him everything, so instead of letting honest words tumble from her lips, she forced them up into a smile and shook her head. 

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

[bitchin-beskar]

Royal Affairs - I

A Choice is Made

Rating: T (Will change to M in future chapters)

Warnings: None, for this chapter. 

Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 4k

A/N: Hey all!! This is a brand new AU that I’ve decided to dive headfirst into!! An anon sent @absurdthirst a message, asking if anyone had written King Din before, and I saw it on my feed, and that inspired this series!! (on the off chance that that anon follows me, if you wanna send me a message or something, I’d be glad to credit you as the inspiration behind this story!) This is an AU story where Mandalore never fell to the Empire, and Din is the King by right of conquest (winning the Darksaber). More of the AU will be explored in the story, but if you have any questions, feel free to send me some asks! I’ll gladly answer what I can, as long as it doesn’t spoil anything!! I wholly blame @mxndoscyarika for being the reason this chapter is out so soon. She is an enabler. (@ollypopp also got to hear a lot of rambles about this au... i’m not sorry). I hope you guys like it!!!!! Please let me know what you guys think!!!

Please consider reblogging and leaving a comment!! I love hearing what you guys think!!

When you’d gone to bed last night, you certainly weren’t expecting anything monumentous to happen today. Today was supposed to be just another day spent running your little apothecary with your sister, before going to sleep and doing it all over again tomorrow. 

But as you stared down at the small little green alien child hiding behind your counter, you knew that today wasn’t going to go the way you planned. 

“Hey, little one,” you murmured, crouching down, but staying far enough back that he wouldn’t feel trapped by you. “How’d you get in here, huh? Where are your parents?”

He looked up at you with his huge round eyes, his little lip quivering, and your heart broke. 

“Hey, it’s alright sweetheart,” you whispered, holding your hands out. “I’m not gonna hurt you, it’s okay–” You were a little thrown off when he waddled straight into your arms, and you instinctively clutched him to your chest. He buried his little face into your tunic and began to cry, little heart-wrenching sobs as his tiny body shook in your arms. 

Standing, you quickly moved to the back room, seeing your sister in the middle of bottling some healing bacta salve. 

“A’denla, can you cover the shop for me?”

She turned, about to ask why when she saw the sobbing child in your arms. You mouthed that you’d explain later, and she just nodded, turning and heading for the counter, leaving you alone in the back with the little one. 

You rocked the little baby back and forth, humming softly as you tried to get him to calm down. You didn’t have a whole lot of experience with children, but you knew enough from helping watch the children of other villagers while they ran their shops when you were younger. 

His tearful cries eventually slowed to little whimpers and hiccups, and you were able to encourage him to detach from your shirt. He rubbed at his eye with his little arm, and you were startled to see a dark green, almost black bruise on his tiny wrist. 

“Who hurt you, little one?” You gently took his hand, inspecting the bruise. He whimpered when you brushed your fingers over his skin. “I bet that hurts something fierce, huh?” 

You take him over to where your sister had the bacta salve out, setting him down gently on the countertop. “Can I use some of this, sweetheart? It’ll help you heal faster.” You’re not sure if he can understand you, but then he takes a long moment to look at the little bottle of blue gel you’re holding before looking up at you, solemnly nodding, his big ears flapping a little with the motion. 

You step away to wash your hands, grabbing a small strip of gauze as well. Dipping your fingers into the salve, you gently brush it over his bruise, your heart twisting every time his little features scrunch up in pain. Once his arm is sufficiently covered, you carefully wrap the gauze around the bruise, securing it with a small clip. 

He looks at his arm before looking back at you, cooing, a wide smile on his face, showing off his baby teeth. His arms raise in the universal sign for “up please!” and you’re unable to deny him, scooping him up in your arms, and cradling him once more to your chest. 

Pressing his face against your skin with a contented sigh, he nuzzles against you for a moment before you feel his breathing begin to even out. “It must be exhausting being so little, huh?” 

You carry him over to the small bassinet you have set up for when you’re watching your brother’s baby girl when he’s busy. The little child fits easily in the small padded space, and you carefully cover him up before stepping back. You have no idea how he got to your shop, and he’s not exactly a race you recognize. Hopefully his parents are somewhere nearby, otherwise you’re going to have a hard time finding them. Although, you’d noticed that his bruises seemed to be in the shape of a hand, and you really didn’t want to place him back into the arms of abusers. 

The tinkling of a bell rang through the shop, signalling the arrival of a customer. You quickly shut the door on the small room with the bassinet, walking towards the counter where your sister is. A’denla isn’t exactly the best with people, and you know she prefers to work in the back, so as soon as you get to the counter, you nudge her away so that she can go back to packaging up products. 

She gives you a grateful smile, ducking into the back as you turn to face two of perhaps the strangest customers you’ve ever met. One is a Rodian, which isn’t necessarily odd in of itself, but usually they tend to stay away from Mandalore. Most Mandalorian’s aren’t exactly known for their tolerance towards other races. The other appears to be human, but you’ve learned to not judge people by their outward appearances.  

“We’re looking for our bounty,” the Rodian grunts in Huttese, and your eyes widen a bit. Bounty hunters. You should’ve known. You’re also surprised that Huttese is the language he chose, especially considering the two main languages on Mandalore were Mando’a and Basic. Luckily for him, you’ve always been a fan of learning different languages, and you understand basic Huttese. “It got away from us. It’s very dangerous. Have you seen it?”

You raise an eyebrow. “What does your bounty look like?”

The other hunter chimes in, this time in Basic. “It’s fifty years old but looks like a child. Some weird green frog-like thing with big ears. It’s incredibly dangerous, and you need to tell us right now if you’ve seen it.”

You manage to school your features, but internally, you’re shocked. Their bounty is the little green child you just patched up and is now sleeping in your back room? And he’s fifty? 

Something about the way the two hunters are acting strikes you as odd, and you make a split second decision. You lie. 

“I’ve not seen any creatures like that,” your voice is smooth and calm, betraying nothing. “But I’ve been in my shop all day. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help.”

For a moment, you think they don’t believe you, but the human quickly nods, grasping his fellow hunter’s arm and tugging him out of your shop. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, sagging a little as the door swung shut. 

You ducked back to the backroom, seeing your sister waiting with her arms crossed. 

“You wanna tell me why you just lied outright to two bounty hunters?” She hissed, eyes flashing. “Do you know how kriffing stupid that was?” 

You stared blankly at her. “Do you really think I’d lie to bounty hunters without a damn good reason?” Your voice was incredulous. “I’m not a di’kut, A’denla.”

She huffed, crossing her arms. “Alright, what’s the reason then?” 

You sighed, slumping against one of the tables. “They said their bounty is fifty years old, but the little one who came into our shop? He’s a baby A’denla. He may be fifty, but it’s clear he doesn’t age the same as us! What could a baby do to warrant a bounty? He was hurt, and he was hurt badly. He was sobbing and shaking and it’s clear he was terrified. I wasn’t about to hand him over to the bounty hunters who probably hurt him that bad in the first place!”

A’denla looks shocked at your little outburst, before softening slightly. She’s got a soft spot for little kids too, and you know she wouldn’t be okay with handing a child over to bounty hunters. 

“Fine, but if this brings hell down on us, I’m telling buir it was your fault, okay?”

You rolled your eyes, grabbed a basket of products, and went back out front to restock the shelves.

***

The little one had slept for a couple of hours, but now he was wide awake, and demanding your attention. You’d done your best to keep him occupied out of sight in case the bounty hunters came back, but so far, the coast had been clear. 

The door suddenly burst open, and Vyshena rushed inside. She owned a shop a couple doors down that sold mechanical parts, so she was a regular, often needing basic medical supplies to patch herself up after being a little too careless with a socket wrench.

“What do you need to–” You started, only to be cut off as Vyshena practically flung herself onto the counter, her grease stained fingers gripping the wood lightly.

“Did you hear?!”

You almost winced at the squeal, and you felt little claws dig into your legs. You looked down, to see the child grasping your leg, his ears drooping as he looked up at you with sorrowful eyes.

“Did I hear what, Vys?”

You bent down to pick up the little one, smoothing one hand over his ear as Vys started in on a rant.

“The King is coming! Apparently his kid went missing and he’s tracking him down! Y’know, he used to be a bounty hunter, so it only makes sense that he’d track his own kid down, apparently there’s a bounty from the Empire on the little guy and–”

You looked up as Vys suddenly stopped, and your brow furrowed as she made a choking sound, her eyes wide as saucers as she stared at you.

“And what, Vys?”

Instead of answering, her arm raised shakily, pointing at the little bundle you held on your hip. Her mouth was gaping, and she looked like she was about to pass out.

“Vys, are you alright?”

Her eyes flickered between your face and the kid multiple times before she sucked in a gasp. “WHAT?”

You actually flinched back at her sudden shout, and the kid whimpered, burying his face in your side.

“Vys!”

“I’m sorry, but how do you– where did– HOW DID YOU GET THE KING’S KID??”

Your eyes widened. “I’m sorry, what?”

“YOU HEARD ME!”

“What is all this racket about– oh, hi Vys.” A’denla came out from the back, her hands full of bottled bacta salve. “What’s going on?”

Vys sputtered, and so you mumbled “Apparently this is the King’s son?” As you gesture to the giggling baby on your hip.

A’denla’s jaw dropped, and she nearly dropped the bacta salve. “Are you kidding me??”

You shook your head, feeling faint, and Vys started laughing hysterically, which got the little one going too. “Not helping,” you muttered, but you couldn’t help but smile at how happy the little one looked.

“Maker, what are we gonna do?”

Your sister’s moan was mostly drowned out by the giggling, but you frowned thoughtfully. “Vys, hold him please,” you said, handing her the still laughing child, even as your request caused her to audibly shut her mouth. You rummaged through the drawers behind the counter before you found a spare sheet of paper and a pen. A’denla tried to see what you were doing but you waved her off, writing as fast as you could.

“There,” you muttered, folding up the paper, handing it to Vys in exchange for the kid. “Take this to one of the guards. They should be able to get it to the King quickly enough. It states that his son is safe, and here in the apothecary. We’re gonna close early just as an added precaution.”

Vys nodded, and you turned to A’denla. “I also wrote what I could remember about the two bounty hunters who came in, they’re probably the ones who kidnapped the kid to begin with.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” your sister sighed. “Maker, am I glad you lied to them when they asked about the kiddo.”

“Me too.” You turned back to Vys. “Go, get that to a guard. I’ll wait here.”

Vys nodded shakily, still a little pale, but she dashed out of the shop. A’denla opened her mouth, but closed it again quickly.

“Go on, spit it out.”

She shook her head. “Buir is never gonna believe this.” You snickered, imaging your mother’s face when she found out that the King of Mandalore’s son had wandered into your apothecary.

“You should go home and tell her. I’d hate for her to hear about this from someone else.” A’denla looked worried, but you shook her off. “I’m closing the store anyways. It’s not like I won’t need your help.”

“If you’re sure?”

“Yes, go.”

After a little more persuading, A’denla finally left, leaving you and the little one alone in the shop. He was still perched on your hip, and for a moment, you stood in the middle of the store, mind racing.

“I can’t believe you’re actually the King’s son,” you muttered, looking down at the wide-eyed child. “Just my luck, huh?”

He cooed at you, playing with the fabric of your top. Your eyes fell to the gauze wrapped around his arm, and you sighed. “I guess we better check on that, buddy. Make sure you’re healing alright.”

Just like before, he was a good patient, not too squirmy as you carefully unwound the gauze. His bruise was healing nicely, and you carefully applied a little more bacta for good measure, re-wrapping his arm. Right as you were pinning it in place, a loud banging sounded from the front door.

You jumped, hand flying to your chest. Carefully picking the kid up, you made your way to the door, peering through the curtains, eyes widening as you realized just who was standing there.

Unlocking the door, you pulled it open, stepping to the side to let the odd looking group inside.

You recognized Fennec Shand, a notorious bounty hunter and partner to Boba Fett, who was also a part of the group. Both were known for their close kinship with the King. There was a woman you didn’t recognize, but judging by the small tattoo on her upper cheek, she had ties to the Republic.

Finally, clad in full beskar’gam, was the King. His beskar was unpainted, the silver gleaming in the low light of your shop. He had no shortage of weapons, his spear was strapped to his back, and a blaster and various vibroblades were strapped to his legs. But the most prominent was the Darksaber that hung from his belt.

Dropping into a curtsy, you bowed your head in respect, a quiet “my king,” leaving your lips. You’d heard stories about the King, about his strength and speed in battle, but especially from his time as a bounty hunter. He’d been one of, if not the best bounty hunter in the galaxy, before winning the Darksaber from Maul in a duel, granting him the right to the throne of Mandalore.

Some said he was cruel, terrifying and dangerous, not to mention volatile. You had no way of knowing. He wasn’t one for major public appearances, so knowledge on his true personality was reserved for those closest to him.

There was a tense silence for a moment when suddenly, the child on your hip reached his little arms out towards the King, babbling loudly. He had a large smile on his face and was wriggling desperately to get out of your grasp. 

The King took a step forward, his own hands stretching out towards his son. You carefully handed the child over, your bare hands brushing over the King’s leather gloves as you transferred the little one to his father’s arms. 

“Su’cuy, ad’ika.” 

The King’s voice was barely more than a whisper as he pressed his helmet against the little one’s brow, his hand pressing against the child’s back to hold him close. 

You fold your arms in front of you, absently noting the way that you already miss the comforting weight of the kid on your hip. You look away from the King and his son, not wanting to intrude on their reunion. 

The others seem a little uncomfortable, like you, and thankfully, the woman you don’t know breaks the awkward silence. 

“You said in your note that you had two bounty hunters come looking for him?”

You’re looking at the woman, so you don’t notice the way the King’s head whips in your direction, nor the way his hand falls to rest on the hilt of the Darksaber. 

“Mmhmm, a Rodian and a human.” You pause. “Actually, I’d almost forgotten, we had security cameras installed about a month ago, they should be on the holos.”

“Why bother with security cameras?” Fett cut in, and you were taken aback by the blatant suspicion in his voice. “This isn’t exactly a high crime area.”

You sighed. “We had a break in a couple months ago. Some di’kut took off with half our supply of bacta salve. We’re one of the only apothecaries on Mandalore licensed to make it, and unfortunately, that usually means we have a large stock, and the prices are pretty steep.” 

“You didn’t report it.”

You narrowed your eyes at the accusatory tone. “I figure if someone’s going to go to all that trouble just to steal bacta salve and not even touch the register or safe, they probably needed it. It’s diluted when it’s in a salve, so it can’t be sold on the black market, unlike pure bacta.” 

“What’s this?”

You started at the King’s voice, turning to look in his direction, seeing him inspecting the gauze wrapped around the little one’s arm. You frowned. “The little one had a pretty bad bruise, it was nearly black. I applied some bacta salve and wrapped it. I checked it just before you got here, it looks a lot better.”

��And I suppose you just thought it was okay to–”

“Fett.”

Your eyes widened at the King’s tone, looking away as the green-armoured bounty hunter grumbled, but stayed silent. 

“I’m a licensed medic, and I have been for close to ten years now. I know what I’m doing.” Perhaps your voice was a little defensive, but you weren’t going to apologize for easing the kid’s pain, no matter the opinion of grumpy men in beskar. 

“Thank you.”

You nodded at the King, eyes flicking up to his helmet before looking away, your cheeks growing warm. You weren’t sure what it was about him, but something about the way he seemed to stare directly into your soul, even through the beskar made you feel... odd.

He handed the little one to the woman with the tattoo, before turning back to you. “May I see the holos?”

You nodded again, turning and walking towards the back of the shop, where the holos were stored. It wasn’t a large room, an old refurbished closet really, and it was a bit tight for one person, let alone a second covered in beskar. You opened up the data station and pulled up the holos from earlier, trying to ignore the silent mountain of a man behind you. You could feel his eyes on your back, and you tried to suppress the shiver that ran down your spine. 

You found the correct timestamp, and enlarged the holovid, pointing to the figures on the screen. “This is when they entered.”

Suddenly, there was a large warm hand on the small of your back as the King stepped up behind you, his other hand coming down to rest on the surface of the table, caging you in as he leaned forward. He was peering over your shoulder, and you inadvertently sucked in a breath at the sudden closeness. 

The two of you watched the footage in silence. Unfortunately, you didn’t have audio to go with the holos, so all the King would have to go off of is the visual. 

“Is there anything distinctive about them that you can remember?” He murmured, the rasp of his helmet’s modulator doing nothing to hide the exquisite way his voice sounded in your ear. 

“Um–” You trailed off, trying to focus, which was especially hard with the King so kriffing close. “Uh, the Rodian? He spoke Huttese.” You could’ve smacked yourself. Of course the Rodian spoke Huttese, it was a common language bounty hunters learned, and Rodian’s were known for speaking it along with their native Rodese. 

The King let out a sigh, and just as you were about to apologize, he thanked you. 

“That– that helps. Thank you, very much.” His hand pressed a little more into your back, and you fought the urge to arch into his touch. You weren’t some child with a crush damn it, you were a village shopkeeper and he was your king. It would be entirely inappropriate, although your traitorous mind was quick to remind you that his touching you could be considered inappropriate as well. 

You told your mind to shut the hell up. 

“You’re welcome, my king.” 

There, that was a perfectly respectable answer. Now all you had to do was avoid embarrassing yourself any further, and–

“Please, darling. Call me Din.”

Well, there went that plan. 

You bit your lip and looked down at the keyboard, hoping that the King–Din, didn’t see your hands tighten at the sound of his voice when he called you darling. 

“Can you give me a copy of these holovids?” 

You nodded, grateful for something, anything to distract you from the peculiar man at your back. Copying the holos onto a drive unfortunately didn’t take very long, and when you turned to hand them to the Ki–Din, your eyes widened when you realized just how close he was to you. Your chests were practically touching, and you had to tilt your head up to be able to look at his helmet, which was aimed directly at you. 

He carefully took the drive, tucking it into one of the pockets on his belt, before stepping back, crossing one arm over his chest and bowing. To you. 

“You’ve done me a great service. I won’t forget it.” 

You swallowed harshly. For a moment, it had sounded like he’d said “I won’t forget you,” although it had to be wishful thinking on your part. He was your King, you were so far removed from royalty it wasn’t even funny. He was just being polite. 

“I’m just glad you were able to reunite with your son. He seems to love you a lot.”

“His name is Grogu. I was blessed with him as my foundling, and I treasure him greatly.”

You smiled. It was clear as day how much the King loved his son, and how the little one returned those feelings tenfold. To be blessed with a foundling was a great honor, and it didn’t surprise you one bit that your King had been blessed in such a way. 

He stepped back to make space for you to leave the small room, and you hurried to where the others were undoubtedly waiting, only just now realizing how long the two of you had been gone.

Fett and Shand were gone by the time you got back to the main floor of your shop. Just the woman and the little one–Grogu–stood their waiting. The King easily plucked Grogu from the woman’s grasp, and with a tight nod, she left your shop as well, leaving you alone with the King and his son. 

He turned back to you, his helmet once more trained on your face. “I must thank you again, for everything.”

You felt your cheeks grow warm at the gratitude dripping from his words. “It was nothing, my king,” you murmured, curtsying once more. 

As you slowly straightened back up, the King reached out and ever so gently lifted your chin, the leather of his glove pressing into your skin. You were forced to look at him, even as the fluttering in your stomach renewed with vigour.

“I’ve already told you, darling. Call me Din.” 

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[breakyeol]

Give Him a Show

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Genre: college au, friends to lovers au, suggestive, tiny pinch of angst

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: strong language, fuckboy!chanyeol being an complete asshole, !!! themes of harassment (not with malicious intent but it’s still not okay) !!! , mentions of drinking and marijuana use, mild groping, heavy making out

A/N ; hey guys. I feel like there is a slightly more serious topic addressed in this one shot. never let a man or woman or anyone treat you the way Chanyeol treats reader in this. don’t be afraid to put your foot down and tell them to fuck off. and if you don’t feel comfortable doing it then ask a friend or family member or anyone you trust for help. please be safe and don’t be afraid to say no ♡ also! this one shot in NO WAY portrays Chanyeol’s true character!! we all know that he is a respectful gentleman in real life thank you and goodnight

It was too often that you found yourself in places like this, surrounded by people like them.

Places like this being an entirely too crowded apartment, the scent of weed and sweat intertwining in the air, the deep bass of a song pulsing from unseen speakers causing the floor to vibrate beneath your sneaker clad feet.

People like them being your so called ‘friends’ who partied every weekend and got shit faced or cross faded every time an opportunity presented itself.

Don’t get it wrong, you knew how to get down and dirty with the worst of them. But tonight had been one of those nights— one of those nights that all you wanted was to sprawl yourself out in your bed and binge watch Scream for the gazillionth time while stuffing your face full of all your favorite snack foods. It hadn’t been the best day in the world, and just being able to sit back and unwind seemed like the most ideal use of your free time.

Unfortunately, that plan was abruptly negated when your friends got the brilliant idea of partying until their legs gave out. They found it of the utmost importance to drag you along as well, claiming dramatically it had been forever since you last hung out with them.

Since the beginning of the night, you had been tucked into the corner of the room on one of the unoccupied couches, pretending to nurse the cup of god knows what kind of alcohol, and wearing your best resting bitch face in hopes that everyone would just stay the fuck away. Thus far, the strategy had been successful. If someone started coming in your direction, all you had to do was shoot them an icy glare and they’d immediately spin around and walk in the opposite direction.

Though, there was one particular person that seemed to be completely oblivious to your blatant disinterest in being here.

“Y/n!”

You grimaced at the familiar booming voice, reluctantly tearing your eyes off of the window where you’d been counting the lights of passing cars on the street bellow. The one and only Park Chanyeol stood before you, signature lopsided smirk plastered across his face.

You’d known Chanyeol since high school, but you really only knew each other because of your mutual friends. In all honesty, you didn’t consider him much more than a good acquaintance. He was a sweet guy, funny and bright and very outgoing.

But, he was also one of the biggest fuck boys you’d ever met. And he was not shy in displaying the fact that he had wanted to hook up with you, to the point where you couldn’t even pretend that it was just your ego. Not-so-subtly eye fucking you whenever you walked into the room, constantly pressing you about your ideal man or what kind of guy you were interested in, finding any and every excuse to be near you or touch you in one way or another. It was all a bit excessive, especially considering that you just weren’t interested in him like that. Unfortunately, he couldn’t seem to get the hint— or, he just didn’t care.

All his indirect advances made it a bit uncomfortable for you to be around him. That was another reason you’d been subtly avoiding hanging out with the big group of friends, because he was always there. And every time you weren’t, he’d text or call you about it and you’d have to make up an excuse as to why you didn’t show.

It wasn’t even like he actually liked you, either. All that he wanted was to snag a quick fuck.

You’d told him straight up on several occasions that you just were not interested, when his advances got too much for you to put up with. He’d lay off for the rest of the night, and if you were lucky the rest of the next day. But by the next, he’d be right back to his flirting and excessive touching. The dude was relentless.

And it was honestly getting a bit exhausting.

But for tonight, you smile politely and just deal.

“Hey, Chanyeol.”

“I’m surprised you came!” He said, voice louder than usual, falling onto the couch beside you like it was where he belonged. You tensed at the feeling of his thigh pressing firmly against yours, and attempted to scoot away from him, only to be stopped by the arm rest digging into your side.

Shit. Did he not know about personal space? More than likely he did, but just didn’t give a fuck.

You only offered a mild nod of your head in response, lips tight, body rigid. He should have been able to feel it with how tightly he’d pressed himself up against you, should’ve felt the tension in your muscles, the uneasiness rolling off of you thick, heavy waves. But he didn’t even flinch, tossing a nonchalant arm over the back of the couch behind your head. You curled in on yourself as his fingers feathered over your shoulder, the corner of your lip lifting in an uncontainable grimace.

“Yeah, me too.”

For whatever reason, the stiff, grumbled response coaxed a round of guffawing belly laughter from the boy squeezed against you. Personally, you didn’t think it was all that funny.

“Well, I, for one, am very glad you came. But why are you over here all by yourself?”

You shrugged, sinking your teeth into the inside of your lip and turning away from him, opting to give your attention to the lack of stars visible in the light polluted night sky. “Just... not in the mood for all this, I guess.” The empty reply was intended to cut this one sided conversation short as soon as possible.

“Then... do you wanna get out of here?” He whispered the question against the shell of your ear, and you couldn’t help the way you lurched away from him. His breath reeked of vodka, the scent so strong that you couldn’t help the way your nose wrinkled in disgust. One thorough look at him was all it took to confirm your suspicions. His cheeks were flushed a deep red, his hooded eyes unfocused and bloodshot.

“You’re wasted, Chanyeol.” You deadpanned, arms folding over your chest.

“What?! N– no I’m not!” You could clearly hear the faint slur of his words now, only solidifying your point further. He was thoroughly shit faced. And if you weren’t too off base, you thought you caught a whiff of weed clinging to his plaid button up. “I’m fine, y/n!” He insisted, apparently lucid enough to catch the look of disbelief that flashed across your face. A sober Chanyeol was one thing, but dealing with him while he was cross faded? That was above your qualifications as an acquaintance.

“Listen, let’s just go somewhere, yeah?” He hiccuped and you almost hissed as one of his hands fell on your knee, and quickly pushed it away. A faint downward twitch of his lips was the only indication he even noticed it had happened, before he was covering it up with a wide grin and leaning in closer. “I know this great pancake place, open 24/7, most delicious milkshakes you’ve ever had in your life. Then maybe afterward we could... chill at my place. What do you say?”

You knew damn well that just ‘chilling’ was nowhere near being on this man’s mind.

“I say you’re drunk and need to lay down and drink some water.”

“Come on, y/n~” He whined at your blunt reply, and your brows furrowed in distaste as he tugged you closer, only to leap into your hairline when you caught his hazy gaze slip down to your mouth. He bit his lip, eyes fluttering. Fuck. Fuck. Was he going to kiss you? Shit. You couldn’t let this happen. But as you pulled away, he pushed further, and all at once you found yourself trapped against the wall. Fuck!

“I—!”

“Chanyeol.” Both yours and Chanyeol’s head turned, surprised by the sudden interruption. A soft breath of relief escaped your lips, though you also felt the familiar tug of embarrassment in the pit of your stomach.

“Sehun?” He mumbled, blinking in confusion.

“You’re fucked up, Chanyeol. Go drink some water.” The younger boy huffed, rolling his eyes.

“But I—”

“Seriously go, Chanyeol. Before you do something you regret when you sober up.” The exasperation in his voice brought a faint glower across Chanyeol’s face, but, to your relief, he pulled away. You watched with pursed lips as he stood on shaky legs and stumbled past his younger friend, roughly bumping his shoulder as he went.

“Fuck.” You cursed once he was out of ear shot, rubbing your palms over your face, frustration peeking.

When you looked up, Sehun was still standing there in his stupid leather jacket and ripped back jeans with his stupid black hair that fell perfectly over his annoyingly handsome face, pretty eyes narrowed into slits and focused sharply on you. You hated it when he looked like you like that. Hated the way your skin burned and your heart sped up in your chest. Hated the way your stomach stirred with butterflies. You hated it. But at the same time…

“What?” You sighed, grimacing at the faint quiver in your voice.

Sehun folded his arms over his chest. “You don’t have to put up with it, you know.”

“What?”

“It’s so obvious that you’re uncomfortable. Why don’t you just tell him to fuck off?” He asked, shifting his weight onto one hip.

“I have.” You groaned. “I’ve told him I’m not interested. He lets up for a bit but then he goes right back to pulling his usual shit.” You tried to explain, face twisting in irritation.

“Have you told him to go fuck himself?”

“Not in those words, exactly.” You admitted, rubbing at the back of your neck.

“Why not?”

“Isn’t it a bit mean? He’s an asshole but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or something...”

“Why the fuck should you care about his feelings when he refuses to consider yours?”

He wasn’t wrong.

Then again, Sehun is rarely wrong when it came down to things like that.

Even though he was the youngest, he always seemed to carry this strange sort of wisdom. He saw and understood things in ways your other friends, in ways most people just didn’t. He took the time to try and see deeper than most cared to look. You had always respected that about him.

While your other friends egged Chanyeol on, pushing you to get with him, Sehun saw past the fake smiles and forced laughter. He saw just how uncomfortable you really were. And he spoke up about it when he saw it going a bit too far. When Chanyeol got too touchy or too bold, he was usually the one to smack him upside the head and tell him to back off or pull you away. He was good like that. And it was nice to know that someone knew and was actually on your side.

Sehun had been a fixture in your friend group since high school. You hadn’t been very close to him at first because he was more on the quiet side and didn’t go out of his way to talk to you. Not to mention, the kid was intimidating as hell with all his leather jackets and ripped jeans and sharp, penetrating eyes.

Put bluntly, he scared the shit out of you the first time you met him. But then you saw him smile for the first time, saw the sweet blush that coated his cheeks when the older boys teased him, heard that goofy, high pitched laugh that rang like the loveliest bells in your ears, felt that unfamiliar fluttering in your chest. And you knew that you were done for.

The two of you hung out a lot in your freshman year of college, going on late night drives and blasting music and just living. For a while you thought that maybe— just maybe there was something there. A spark. A chance.

But he never made a move, and neither did you. Then there was Chanyeol and his flirting and annoyingly persistent determination to fuck you. Things got complicated and nothing ever ended up happening between the two of you. You thought you’d at least keep up the same momentum in your relationship, but Sehun started pulling away from you. His late night visits became less frequent, his texts dwindling to almost nonexistent, and his presence in your life becoming less and less every day. It hurt. But what the hell were you going to do about it? It was frustrating at first, but you got over it.

... kind of.

... not really.

That’s besides the point.

When you didn’t answer, Sehun sighed, taking a few tentative steps before dropping onto the couch beside you. You weren’t too sure how to feel about the space he left between you. It almost felt representative of the distance that had grown between the two of you in the past year. You didn’t like it.

“It’s not cool what he’s doing to you, you know that, right?” He asked, tilting his head at you. Concern shone through his gentle eyes, uncertainty. You couldn’t ignore the way your chest warmed at the thought that he cared. He cared about you, about your feelings. He cared, and you couldn’t begin to describe the immense joy that ignited inside of you. But you bit your lip to keep from smiling, to keep from sighing blissfully and melting into the familiar comfort of his presence brought you. The seriousness in his gaze kept you upright and alert, the topic at hand pulling you down from the brief high and you nodded gently.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

Sehun pursed his lips, a thoughtful candescence falling over his handsome features. “I’ve known Chanyeol for a long time. He’s not a bad guy, but he is a fucking idiot and doesn’t always realize when he’s being a fucking idiot so sometimes you just gotta slap him in the face and tell him straight up to get his shit together. And he will.”

Just then, you spotted Chanyeol sauntering out of the kitchen, a water bottle gripped in his hand, a hazy kind of smirk on his face. You watched him toss an arm around Minseok’s shoulder and whisper something in his ear, tipping his head in your direction.

“You want him to back off?” You flinched at the unexpected closeness of Sehun’s voice, and made the mistake of turning to face him. He was close. So close. Close enough to count his eyelashes if you wanted. Close enough to see the faded pink of the scar on his cheek. Close enough to smell the subtle wisp of his earthy cologne. Close enough to feel the heat radiating off his skin. Your heart began thundering violently in your chest, a blazing heat blossoming beneath your skin.

“Yeah.” The word came out as less than a breathless whisper. You didn’t miss the way his eyes flashed down to your lips, before quickly snapping back up to your eyes, searching them with a tenderness that made your heart throb.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” There wasn’t a moment of hesitation, not the faintest hint of uncertainty. It was the truth. You trusted him.

He glanced out of the corner of his eye, and you followed his gaze to find Chanyeol standing across the room staring intently in your direction with brows furrowed. Gentle fingers pressing into the curve of your jaw drew your attention back to the man sitting in front of you. Ever so slightly, he tipped his face closer, his nose nudging against yours. Shallow, insufficient inhales swirled in your lungs as your eyes fluttered, utterly overwhelmed by the mere closeness of him.

“Then follow my lead.”

His lips met yours with a gentleness you weren’t entirely prepared for. They were light and cautious, waiting to see whether you’d push him off or pull him in. He let out a soft breath of relief at the feeling of your hand curling around the back of his neck, urging him closer. In an instant, he relinquished his restrains, melting into the warm pressure of your lips as you simultaneously melted into his.

You’ve experienced your fair share of kisses in the past. But something about this one — whether it was the slow, deep pace of it, or the lingering presence of ring clad fingers tracing the length of your throat, or the mere fact that it was with Oh Sehun, the boy that could set your heart ablaze with a single smile — there was just something about this kiss.

When he pulled away, you could still feel the phantom warmth, tingling on your skin. You refused to open your eyes, trying to keep the sensation alive as long as possible.

“Is that alright?”

Finally, you looked at him. And god, had you ever seen a man so beautiful? His cheeks were flushed a soft, endearing pink, deep chocolate eyes hooded and melting, lips just a touch darker in shade then they had been before. You were so awestruck by him that it took you an extra moment to realize that he’d asked you a question.

You nodded, tightening your hold around his neck in order to pull him closer and breathe the word into his open mouth before closing the distance completely, “Yes.”

Immediately following your consent, any and all of Sehun’s lingering reservations vanished. His hands dropped away from your neck, one coiling tightly around the curve of your waist and flattening against the small of your back, the other gripping your jean clad thigh and tugging it gentle over his lap. The new position ignited a dangerously familiar heat in the pit of your stomach, that quickly began to swell into something large and uncontainable, spurred by the delicious pressure of his fingers and skilled movements of his lips.

He groaned deeply as you tugged at his hair, silky tendrils clenched in a tight fist. The sound resonated through your body, vibrating in your chest and shooting straight down to your growing arousal.

“Fuck that was sexy.”

A low chuckle rumbled in his throat and you realized with an embarrassed flush that you’d said that out loud. But the buzz of nerve was quickly soothed when he mumbled breathlessly, “right back atcha.”

He emphasized his point by sinking his teeth into the sensitive flesh of your lower lip and tugging, eliciting a low, drawn out moan from the depths of your chest. Smooth flicks of his tongue soothed the afflicted skin, before he asked for permission to enter, not waiting a single moment to dive in when it was granted.

Feeling the burn of someone’s stare, your eyes flicked open for a moment, sliding lazily over to where Chanyeol still stood, seemingly rooted into the spot. His eyes were wide, lips gaping, cheeks flushed, though you couldn’t tell if it was from the alcoholic something else entirely. The grip he had on his water bottle had tightened substantial, and you couldn’t help the mild smugness that washed over you.

Without breaking to kiss, you kept your gaze on Chanyeol, making sure he was watching as you slid a hand around the front of Sehun’s throat, and captured his tongue between your lips, sucking gently. If possible, his mouth fell open even wider, eyes looking ready to pop out of his damn skull. Smirking to yourself, you cocked a brow at the gaping man. He visibly swallowed, before his eyes suddenly snapped down. You followed his gaze curiously and nearly scoffed in disbelief.

Of course he’d get a hard on from watching something like this. Nasty fucker.

“He still watching?” Sehun mumbled, detaching his mouth from yours only long enough to get the words out. You hummed softly in confirmation, shivering when you felt the slow upward curl of his lips. “Good. Let’s give him a show.”

In an instant, Sehun pulled you over to straddle his lap. Warm hands roamed over your body, though careful to keep a respectful distance from anything he thought you might not want him touching. You appreciated the sentiment, but with Sehun? You didn’t need respectful.

The younger boy faltered beneath you, chest swelling with a deep inhale when you reached around to grab hold of his wrists and slowly lowered them to the swells of your ass. He groaned roughly, fingers digging greedily into the jean clad flesh and pulling you flush against him.

You gasped when you felt him beneath you, hot and hard right between your hips. The rough friction made you clench and shudder, wetness spilling from your core and soaking through your panties. You probably should have been concerned about the heavy arousal seeping through the thick material of your jeans, but your mind was too far gone in the intoxicating warmth of his kiss that you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“Fuck, Sehun.” You hissed, hips rolling hungrily over his.

“Baby.” He purred in response, and you swear you nearly had a fucking aneurism on the spot. Baby. Baby. Oh Sehun just called you baby. How long had you waited to hear him call you that? Too fucking long.

A desperate whimper pulsed from your throat, so entirely unlike you that it took even you by surprise. He didn’t seem to mind, pulling you so tightly against him that your ribs ached. But the pain was welcome, melting into a delicious cocktail with the fierce pleasure pulsing through your every cell.

“I don’t think he’s watching anymore.” Sehun breathed, glancing over your shoulder.

“I don’t care.”

You weren’t concerned about Chanyeol any more, far more focused on how Sehun’s lips tasted like mint and honey, and not like alcohol. The fact that he hadn’t drank made you feel even better, if that were possible.

Honest to god you probably would have fucked him right then and there on that couch in front of everyone (and felt damn good about it too) if not for the gentle pressure of Sehun’s fingers digging into your rolling hips, forcing their slow grinding to come to an abrupt halt. You pulled away from him then, completely out of breath and more turned on than you’d been in your entire life. Sehun was in a similar state, panting and flushed, damn near throbbing in the tight confines of his sexy ripped jeans.

“What is it?” You asked, still panting.

He shot you a lopsided grin. “As much as I would love to fuck your brains out in front of all these self centered assholes...” a hand drifted up the line of your body, delicate fingers following the cut of your jaw to trace over the seam of your bottom lip. “I think I’d prefer our first time together to be somewhere a bit more… private? Intimate? Somewhere I can treat you how you deserve to be treated.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest, warmth spreading through your body in thick, invigorating waves.

“What’d you have in mind?” You asked softly, feathering your lips over his. He smiled.

“I know this great pancake place that’s open 24/7, best milkshakes you’ve ever had. Then maybe afterward we could... chill at my place. What do you say?” Laughter bubbled at your lips as he mimicked the same line Chanyeol had used on you earlier with a cheesy grin.

And yet, the feeling was entirely different.

Sucking your lips into your mouth, you nodded shyly, arms going slack over his broad shoulders.

“Only if you’re paying.” You hummed playfully.

“Fine,” he sighed dramatically, “I’ll make an exception to my ‘seniors always pay rule’ just this once. Only for you.”

Only for you.

You could definitely get used to that.

[themculibrary]

Ok so weirdly specific ask but do you know when in 2012 the avengers had just come out and the fandom thought that they’d all live in the tower as one big domestic family and all was good and that’s what like all the fics were about for a sec could you maybe find some of those please? If not just pre infinity war irondad fluff (I just need some feel good stuff lol)

Avengers Tower

Breaking News (ao3) - astolat steve/sam E, 10k

Summary: “I’ve sent you keys,” Tony said. “I’ve emailed, I’ve texted, I’ve called. Pepper called. There is an entire floor of Stark Tower waiting for you to move in. And instead here you are living in a two-bedroom shack out in the open with your — extremely hot, by the way, nice job there — boyfriend. The paparazzi are going to eat you alive, Rogers.”

In Deep Water (ao3) - itsallAvengers steve/tony T, 11k

Summary: The Avengers want a pool. Tony can arrange that for them. He can. The thought doesn't fill him with horrible, daunting dread and crippling fear. Not at all.

(Or maybe denial does more harm than good)

Some Things Shouldn’t Be a Chore (ao3) - scifigrl47 steve/tony, clint/phil T, 22k

Summary: Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick.

And some things shouldn't be a chore.

The Home Invasion (ao3) - Blue_Glass harley/peter N/R, 13k

Summary: Peter Stark, more commonly known as Peter Parker, just missed out on the secret Academic Decathlon field trip because he had miscounted his days absent from school. Well at least he gets to stay home for the day right? What happens next is purely coincidence, but really Peter should have expected this to happen.

To Be Modified as Necessary (ao3) - ignipes steve/bucky, jane/thor, clint/natasha, bucky/natasha T, 5k

Summary: They only need ten rules to ensure (relatively) peaceful cohabitation.

Pre Infinity War Irondad

A Little Hiccup (ao3) - Crazysnakelover pepper/tony T, 101k

Summary: While Peter was out patrolling as Spiderman, an incident occurs and something happens to him. Now he has to go to Tony for help, and their relationship will never be the same.

Breaking the Rules (ao3) - edibna N/R, 4k

Summary: Everyone who works at Stark Industries knows the rules to dealing with Tony Stark himself, and most hope to never meet him in person, unless they accedentally break those rules. College interns are on an even thinner ice. They can't mess anything up if they ever meet Mr. Stark, or else their internship is over.

So, why does Peter Parker keep breaking all of the rules, and why does Mr. Stark never seem mad?

Bring it Home (ao3) - duskblue G, 7k

Summary: It’s time for the Avenger’s Compound field trip for Peter and his Academic Decathlon team. Flash already knows that Peter knows Mr Stark, but does he believe him about the Stark Internship? How can Peter keep Flash at bay AND manage to stay under the radar at the compound? Is that even possible??

Scraped Knees Protocol (ao3) - ssssssssssssssssssspiderboi G, 9k

Summary: “Hey, hey, hey!” Peter yelped, barely avoiding the machines. “Watch it! You could really hurt someo--” The wind was then knocked out of him by one of the four arms, sending the Spider-Man flying face-first against the opposite wall. Peter hadn’t had enough time to react to his spidey-sense that attempted to warn him of the oncoming danger, but he had managed to stick his hands out to try and protect his face. It turned out to be a fruitless effort, because not only did Peter still hit his face on a brick that jutted out-- more specifically, his right eye and the area around it-- but his wrist made a sickening snap sound upon impact.

Peter groaned and moaned as he fell off and onto the ground below, almost seeming the bounce a little as he hit. “Ow…” He knew he should be getting up and trying to web up the doctor, but god, did everything ache.

You caught me at just the right time (until you couldn't) (ao3) - 14million_constellations N/R, 19k

Summary: “I thought Spider-Man didn’t get sick,” Tony said, smiling.

“And I thought Tony Stark didn’t care,” Peter says, now not only looking like death but sounding like it, and Tony frowned. Peter noticed. “Sorry. You do care. I know you do.

--or--

The 5 times Tony realized Peter was sick, and the 1 time it was almost too late.

- Tori

[jostepherjoestar]

Patience is a virtue (Risotto fic 4k)

NOTsfw!! // afab reader // neutral pronouns

warnings/notes: 18+ content, minors dni, s3xual stuff, very vanilla though, slowburn-ish, fluffy and sweet Risotto wants to treat you and indulge you

The only sound in the room was the soft clacking noise of the plastic pen cap Risotto kept twisting and untwisting from its holster. Another long night spent in his office, the workload still not finished. He really ought to learn to ask for help he thought to himself. As the word “help” entered his mind, you came up. Always eager to help, never complaining about the amount of work or even the pain you had to endure during missions. Your adorable smile entering his thoughts, the small one you gave him to silently assure him you were alright. 

Just like many late nights spent working, sitting alone in his old leather desk chair, for once not hunched over his papers but tentatively leaning back while soft creaks came from the chair with every movement. He could always ask you to help him sort out the leftover pile, maybe it would be a good excuse to spend some time alone together, cooped up in his office and quietly talking about nothing or anything together. The stoic man’s feelings gnawed at him, sure that it was a mistake to feel his pull towards you grow stronger every day. Why did you entangle his every thought? Was it the way you dressed? No. Well of course you looked lovely in your usual outfit, revealing your stylish side tremendously but still that wasn’t your biggest asset. Was it the way your natural looks seemed to require little to no effort, offering maximum payoff? Even though he could spent an eternity staring at your soft skin, those glittering eyes filled with passion and kindness, even during battle he knew that fervour helped you along. You were so lovely on the outside but it was truly the way you treated others that enamoured him so. Being surrounded by his team was nice and pleasant, many moments of laughter were shared between the men but still there was this unconditional kindness and understanding you offered so selflessly, expecting nothing in return. The way you manoeuvred the many offhand comments of your teammates, trying to poke and see how much you could take. But you never gave in, always ready with a witty retort or a quick change of subject, not letting the comments bother you. The strength you possessed, it almost seemed like you conquered pain itself. At least that’s what it looked like to your capo when he reflected on your behaviour, just like he’s doing tonight. You’d get beaten and bruised on missions but never so much as let out a peep, the pain seeming to be more of an inconvenience than a feeling. Many times you’d offer your help to a hurt teammate while you yourself were barely able to go on, but still you persevered. The silver haired man even caught you not as much as flinching when you were making breakfast one day, hot oil splatters that would make anyone yelp didn’t even phase you. Merrily continuing cooking and shaking the pan. 

But as he kept on thinking it occurred to him that he’s never seen you do something completely selfish. Even as much as watch the movie you wanted, always opting to let other pick instead. As much as you mastered strength and kept your cool in stressful situations, did you master pleasure? Didn’t you ever indulge in your own selfish requests? Of course he can’t know what goes on behind your closed bedroom door but he wondered so often what you enjoyed to indulge in. Did you read? Was there a collection of cd’s filling your bookcase? Never the one to invade other’s privacy by snooping, he could only wonder until you invited him in. Through the crack of your door he never saw much, only ever coming by to ask if you’d come and join the meeting they were having, you always offered great advice. But through the little bit your door opened he smelled your heavenly perfume, like the room was just as much a part of you as you were of it. He never thought of himself as a coward, he’d made it a point to get what he wanted through the simplest means necessary but the hesitation to ask you to spend time together baffled him. Had he gone soft on himself? Maybe it was just the way you made him feel, and in all honestly he only hoped you returned even just a slither of what he felt for you. Enough was enough, he thought to himself, even though it’s late he knows not much sleeping was being done in the shared headquarters. As he got up, the chair creaked after being released of the mans weight, soft steps on thick black socks made their way to the door. He’d at least put on a some more comfortable clothes working these long nights. Opting for a black sweater that hid his toned figure but fitted sweatpants that still held his shapely muscled legs. He rarely even though about if he looked appealing, he likes his usual look and outfit but he doesn’t particularly wear it to impress anyone. But right now he hoped he exuded a welcome aura, relaxed and inviting. That’s what he needed it to be at least. 

Without too much more overthinking he brought himself to your door, knocking a familiar pattern to alert you of his presence. After some scuffling on the other side the door slid open a little, your head popping out to see the expected figure. Risotto stood in place for a moment, silent and not moving. Seeing you so cutely, awaiting his words with that small smile on your lips. “I hope I didn’t interrupt you sleeping but if you have some time, would you mind helping me finish up for the night? It won’t take too long if it’s the two of us.” He asked politely, moving his hand to lean it on the doorframe. “Oh of course I don’t mind Risotto, I’d love to. Is it ok if I meet you in just a second though? I have to finish something…” You trailed off with a soft twinkle in your eye that made your capo’s heart beat faster. After assuring you it was fine and he’d go fetch you some tea to enjoy, you scuffled back over to your computer quickly shutting off the game you’d been playing, the fans stopping to whirr letting silence take over the room. You felt a bit excited to be able to work with your capo, rarely getting some alone time with the large figure. As you stared into the mirror placed on your wall you assessed yourself for a quick moment, adjusting your shirt and comfortable pants to look more tidy, fixing some loose strands of hair back into place. You grabbed the matching zip up hoody, remembering how chilly Risotto’s office was the few times you entered. You felt yourself in need to hurry, not wanted him to think you were dragging this out longer than need be. 

It had been an hour already since you started working at the paper stack on the oaken desk of your superior. It had dwindled down quite a lot, only one or two documents left to finish. During the process you’d chatted lightly with the dark eyed fellow, not really sure what you could even talk about. He seemed a bit broody since you entered, his earlier mood had seemed to fade. Although you wondered if it was your fault, but upon some self reflection you’d figured it was just the need to work so late into the night quite often that brought your capo down a bit. “Ah, we’re finally done. Good work Risotto.” You praised him as you let out a little squeak as you stretched your limbs. Unbeknownst to you the flattery went to straight to his heart. He’d never been one to strive off of commendations but when they came from you he felt so light and like the work he did was actually worth it. He’d been so caught up in his own thoughts about what to chat about he ended up being more quiet than he’d hoped to be. Sure that he was quite the bore to be around. “Thank you for your help, I’m glad I can always count on you.” His voice getting warmer as he met your eyes, looking up at your standing figure. He couldn’t help but notice your matching little track suit, the shirt poking out under the hem of the jacket. But he couldn’t linger long, he needed to think how he could make you stay longer, your presence offering a peaceful feeling he rarely experienced without you near. “I… I have a question for you.” After accepting his thank you, silently waving it away you were surprised by his question. You’ve never heard him hesitate, was he nervous? He didn’t look it. “Sure, shoot!” you smiled back, curious to know his answer. “Would you want to show me your room? I’ve seen all of the others’ and unfortunately they weren’t that exciting,” he huffed out a small chuckle before he continued. “of course if I’m not intruding.” He was so polite and careful with his words, his thoughtfulness making your chest tighten. “Of course! Sorry if it’s a bit messy though, cleaning isn’t my favourite activity.” You returned cheerily, already opening the door to the hallway to commence the tour. How exiting! Even though it was well over midnight you felt energised by his request. 

You quietly stood in the middle of your small room, hands twisting into each other after having straightened some things as you both walked in, awaiting a reaction from your tour-mate. “So, was it as good as you expected? Does the colour palette please your eyes?” You joked to ease the tension that seemed to radiate Risotto. He looked around thoroughly, his eyes scanning the environment, making sure to take in whatever was visible. “It’s surprisingly cute. Not that you’re not. Or-“ he commented, the words seeming to spill out of him. You couldn’t help but laugh at his choice of words assuring him you understood what he meant. God, why were you so kind. Even after that little hiccup you still retained your composure while he was trying not to break apart. Reminding himself of who he was he straightened his back, not being too far away from the ceiling of the small room. He had noted the books on your shelves and the stickers on the blocky computer, the fluffy slippers under your bed and the picture of a cute cat wishing you a good day. It really was a cute room that showed off who you were, completely engulfed in your soft perfume. “So what do you do for fun?” Risotto felt like he had to say something, the silence lasting too long as you allowed him to let his eyes wander around the room. “Oh!  Let me show you! I just got this new game, I was actually playing it before you came by.” You excitedly hopped over to your desk as you turned the pc on again, the familiar starting sounds popping up. “See, you build your character and then you live your life, you can get a job, get married and have hobbies. I know it’s a bit silly but it’s nice to enjoy the little things. Sometimes in our line of work they get lost.” As you sat on your desk chair Risotto loomed behind you, bending over to see what was going on. You felt the warmth on his body hoover over your frame, it felt so nice to be close to someone. But you scolded yourself for relinquishing in his body heat, but the ache of not having been near another held on stronger. Before you could give it more thought you felt a heavy hand lean on the back of the chair and another move to your desk, caging you into him on one side. It surprised you but as usual you kept your composure, trying your very hardest not to lean back too much, as Risotto would catch your figure if you did. “Why’s that cat named Ghiaccio?” An obvious hint of amusement in his gravely voice. You let out a little snort, the sound going straight to the looming man’s heart again. “Well, he’s white and a bit grumpy, he reminded me of White Albums so only felt right to name him Ghiaccio.” You explained as you saw the small dimple in Risotto’s face as you came to face him. You felt so small sitting on you desk chair, his figure caging you in like a bird. But it felt safe, no threat to be near, like he wasn’t doing it for his pleasure but yours. As your eyes lingered on his features, he finally looked down from above to meet your stare. Those dark and moody ones feeling like they’d swallow you whole, but if you were honest with yourself, you’d let them. His movements were slow but deliberate, making his way down closer to you. Only a few centimetres apart, his breath leaving warm invisible clouds around you as he breathed out calmly. He felt intrigued to see your reactions to his movements, but you didn’t seem flustered just yet, maybe a little taken aback by his move but still so curious to find out when you’d let yourself go and unravel. “What else do you like to do?” He hummed against you as he slowly blinked, waiting to see what would happen, analysing your eyes for an answer. You didn’t really know how to reply, like all words had lost meaning and they would no longer serve their purpose once they got spoken. The intensity of his gaze and the way you longed to be held again, to be cherished by another, just for a little while to make you feel appreciated again. 

Risotto was pleasantly surprised when you moved to close the distance, stretching out to meet him those couple of breaths away. Carefully placing your lips on his, they felt like soft pillows welcoming him in comfort. Just like you worked your missions, you continued with fervour, bravely keeping the kiss going. Risotto entering your mouth with his tongue, taking the lead and moving further. As you waltzed with each other, moving in tandem but one was in charge you stood up from your swivelling chair, pushing it aside with your foot as you clasped an arm as far as you could over your capo’s neck. Soft wet sounds from lapping at each other were barely audible as you moved against him, his arms now holding you firmly into him as his craned neck was kept down by the kiss. Somehow you had to come up for air, not even close to wanting to surface this lake of pleasure. But alas you both had to, cursing his lungs for needing air, he let go of the kiss but still remaining close by your puffy lips. Oh how he wished he could stay enclosed in them forever. “When was the last time you had someone else be kind to you?” He breathed in between words, letting you regain your breath as well. “I’m not sure I know.” You replied honestly, breathing starting to even out, it wasn’t something you paid much mind to, the feeling of being near the ones you cared for was enough for you. “Let me treat you tonight, if you’ll have me?” His warm baritone awakening tingles in your body you had almost forgotten about. It had been so long since you even took care of yourself, touched the places that were so sensitive and sweet. Too busy with work and life to even engage in your own pleasure. His hand had moved its way up to your neck, gently holding up your head as you stared back at him, you knew the answer was yes of course, but felt again like they had no use. “Yes, please…” You sighed out as he caressed your jawline with his thumb. Still Risotto was intrigued that you’d finally given in and allowed the return of all the love and care you so easily gave away. There you were, still not letting yourself get truly lost just yet. 

Having moved to your bed, letting him gently take off the layers you’d been wearing one by one, being left with nothing but your adorable underwear and bra that hugged you breasts and curves so nicely. You let the silver haired man take in your figure while you were lying under him, his gaze soft and appreciative, like he’d finally been able to see what he got for Christmas. Before he could continue his plans that are still unbeknownst to you, you gripped at the hem of his sweater. Offering the display of his toned torso, you’d seen it on a daily basis but never appreciated the sight more than now. Raking a soft finger across the natural lines like you were completing a maze, maybe one that you wouldn’t mind being stuck in. But your indulgence was cut short, Risotto continuing on his mission to treat you. He placed soft kisses on your skin, leaving a tingling trail behind as he started from your forehead working his way down in gentle kisses and touches. His hands roaming your waist, softly massaging the plush skin. You were enjoying this, stopping soft moans from leaving those soft lips, not ready to let go of them yet. Your hands roamed Risotto’s back and arms, caressing and exploring the muscled shapes while he continued on your neck and chest. As his lips and touches reach your mounds he admires them, offering soft swipes with his thumbs on your sensitive nubs, rousing them from their softness. Through the soft fabric of your delicate bra you felt the meaning behind his ministrations, telling you to relax into them, let yourself get engulfed and not care about the consequences. “You are absolutely beautiful.” He whispered as he placed multiple kisses on your shoulders moving down the straps of the bra, undoing the clasps with a couple of swift motions when his hand moved behind your back. You were relishing in his warmth, soaking it all up, if only he knew how long you’d ached for this tender love. His mouth had taken in one of your nipples, soft little tugs and swirls of his tongue while the other got attention from his hand. Still you weren’t ready to let go of your moans, just that one smidge of pleasure more, maybe afraid to let the others in the house know you were enjoying yourself. The thought only springing more excitement in your lower tummy. You pinched Risotto’s upper arm after a particularly cheeky bite on your breast, making him hum a chuckle against your sensitive skin, springing goosebumps to life. “When are you going to let go, mhh? Be selfish for once, indulge.” The words rolled of off his tongue with ease like a warm knife cutting through butter. “When your treat gets to the next step perhaps?” You said with a hint of playfulness and that cute reassuring smile he loved. It was his sign to continue his path downwards. A single finger hooked on the hem of your delicate panties adorned with flower appliqués. Slowly he started pushing them down, almost a teasingly slow pace, but every movement felt like fireworks on your skin until finally your panties were slid off and thrown on the ground. The wet spot not going unnoticed to your capo who’d grown a hungry grin, showing off his dimple. 

He’d moved down between your legs now, arms hooked over your thighs to keep you in position and perhaps the pressure of being kept down only added to your excitement. You could feel his breaths on your inner thighs as he snaked over them with his mouth, sending a shudder through your system as his delicateness tickled you. He knew what he was doing, trying to only push you further and further to the edge. He wanted to hear your sweet moans and breathless whispers of pleasure. And he’s determined to make that happen. He was glad to see your tender folds already glisten in the low light, you looked so inviting to him. He wasn’t planning on wasting any more time, he wanted to please you so badly. Perhaps a bit surprised at his feelings to be so kind and giving. 

A wet kiss was placed on the mound of your heat, he continued down following your natural curve. His hands were close enough, spreading you open so he could look even closer at the warm place he’d put all his attention into for as long as needed. His wide tongue moved flat over your lips, grazing your clit sending electric quivers up your body. Your hand was grabbing onto his silver locks, taking a handful and gripping it hard as he began. It only motivated him to continue as he heard you sharply breath out, you were finally starting to unravel. His tongue worked his way around, rhythmically sucking and moving around your most sensitive spots. Occasionally he’d move his tongue to your aching pit to drink you in, telling you how good you tasted. Your hips couldn’t stay still, bucking upwards at his motions, his arms still holding your hips and thighs in place where he wanted them. “Please…” you panted, “please just fill me.” The words came out without even thinking, followed by a moan that had been aching to release. Risotto’s grin grew bigger, glad you finally accepted the pleasure fully. He moved his right arm away from your thigh, the pressure releasing from your skin. Wetting his fingers with your essence he slid one inside of you while working away at your sensitive clit with his mouth. You felt your walls tighten around him, welcoming the added sensation with another moan, even louder than the first one. As you slowly felt the pressure build you felt ravaged by the feelings, only wanting more and faster. “More, please god more Risotto!” You panted loudly now, fully giving in as Risotto had only hoped. He moved faster, curling his fingers as he added another finger inside, reaching that far spot inside of you that only further proved how skilled he was at making you reach your summit. As the tension inside you built more and more, your pants and moans only grew louder, not even caring if your housemates knew what was happening. The faster he moved his fingers in and out of you, the more lewd noises filled the silent room, the squelching of your juices and the lapping of his tongue and how he so skilfully sucked on your clit. Not much more movement was needed and you felt your pleasure finally erupt into orgasm. Tingles spread all over you, your walls convulsing around his fingers, heat spreading through your limbs as Risottos slowly let your ride out your orgasm as he drunk in your juices, happy to have pleased you. 

As you regained your breath and felt your muscles relax, still relishing in the afterglow, Risotto moved away from your heat. He admired his work, wiping away at his chin and mouth that had been covered in your essence. “You know what you just did?” You asked while your bare chest was still moving up and down heavier than usual. “Well I ate you out…” he answered with a confused look, a smirk still visible. “Well yeah but you did something kind capo.” He could feel his heart swell at your choice of words. “But don’t you want me to take care of that?” You pointed at his crotch, his obvious excitement showing through the sweatpants. “No. Not tonight, my next gift will come tomorrow. You just rest up.” He answered as he rubbed your legs. “Making me wait huh?” You teased as you got back close to him, embracing his muscled torso with your bare one. “Patience is a virtue my dear.” He jokes back letting you take him in for another kiss. He was already looking forward to tomorrow, feeling that his generosity would last a lifetime with you around. 

[machine-gun-casie]

Blood And Water

anon: Hey! I just read your guidelines and I was thinking if you could do a fic in which the reader is Dom's sister and she kinda doesn't like Colson that much because she thinks he is going to "corrupt" her baby brother? Idk, just it can go anyway you want, I'd like to see this hate/love relationship between the two

a/n: it kind of turned out platonic but i still really like it and i hope you do too :)

wc: 4k

Knocking was the last thing on his mind as Colson opened the door. Dom said the first door next to the stairs, but there was one on the left and one on the right. How was he supposed to know which one it was supposed to be?

“Hey!” You yelled out, scrambling to cover yourself with a towel. “You ever heard of knocking?”

“Ah!” Colson quickly covered his eyes as he backed out. “Sorry, sorry!” He closed the door and let out a deep breath. 

“Shit.” He mumbled to himself as he walked over to Dom’s bedroom, the one to the left. He grabbed a phone charger from the nightstand and dashed back downstairs. Upon seeing his friend on the couch, he let out a laugh. “Didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.”

“What?” Dom looked up at Colson as he jumped over the last few steps on the stairs. “What girlfriend?”

“The girl upstairs?” Colson said, plopping down next to Dom. 

“Oh no, man.” Dom laughed. “That’s not my girlfriend, that’s y/n.”

“y/n?”

Before Dom could explain, you came down the stairs. Fully dressed, Colson noted. You didn’t even glance towards the couch and headed straight to the kitchen. You grabbed a glass of water from the cupboard and looked over the island to where they were all sitting in the living room. “Dom, who the fuck just walked in on me naked?”

Colson grimaced and raised his hand slightly. “That would be me.”

“You walked in on her naked?!” Dom asked Colson. 

“It was an accident!” Colson defended himself before turning to face you. “Look y/n, I’m really sorry. I swear I know how to knock.���

You were standing in front of both of them with a glass of water in hand at this point. “What’s your name?”

“His name’s Colson.” Dom explained, standing up to come and face you. “Listen, we’re working on a song. You wanna help?”

“I’d love to, Dommy, but I’ve got that thing from last night I’ve gotta edit.” You explained with a frown. You loved helping Dom with song writing, it was your favorite thing. But you needed to show him that you took this job seriously, because it was really no joke. “I’ll come down when I’m done, okay?”

“Alright, but don’t take too long.” Dom said as you walked away.

“I’ll try.” You smiled back at him.

As soon as you were out of earshot, Colson giggled. “Dommy?”

“Oi, don’t start!” Dom pointed at Colson. “You’re the one that walked in on her naked. If she hears you making fun of me, she’ll tear you to shreds.”

“Why?” Colson asked with furrowed eyebrows. You weren’t his girlfriend according to Dom. You were clearly not his sister, both looks and accent showed that.

“She’s my sister.” Dom explained as he sat back down and saw Colson’s confused facial expression. “Adopted. Moved into my parent’s house a while back. Been living with us ever since.”

“She moved in?” Colson asked. “Why?”

“Long story.” Dom sighed and when Colson didn’t stop him he continued. “Her mom’s a piece of work. She was actually living with her here in L.A. before she moved to Doncaster. She found her dad there but one thing led to another and she ended up living with us by the time she was twelve.”

“Holy shit.” Colson raised his eyebrows. “So she’s pretty much blood at this point.” 

Dom tsked and shocked his head. “Blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood.” 

Before Colson could ask, there was a knock at the door. Dom jumped up with an ‘I’ll get it!’ and ran off leaving Colson with some answers but more questions.

-

A few hours later, you finally finished editing the pictures from Dom’s appearance from the night before. You had begged Dom for months on end to let you work for him, you told him you’d take anything. You were staying with him in the house his label was renting for him in L.A. and you didn’t want to feel like a leech. He finally caved and let you be his official photographer.

You would follow him to his appearances, whether that be radio shows or late night talk shows, and take some pictures while he was in action. A few masterclasses on how to professionally take and edit photos and you were off.

Throwing your head back, you let out a groan as your muscles finally moved out of their hunched over position. A cup of tea would do you good right about now. You skipped over the towel on the floor and tried to suppress the memory of Colson seeing you naked as you left your room.

The laughter and music from downstairs became louder and louder as you came closer. Once you hit the landing, it was clear as to why.

Dom was nursing a bottle of beer while Colson was guzzling down the last shot from a previously full bottle of vodka. You knew because you saw it on the table earlier that day. In the corner was Travis who was just enjoying the show.

“Hey, it’s y/n!” Colson exclaimed, pointing at you.

“y/n!” Dom smiled. “You took ages! We’re celebrating!”

“Did you guys finish the song?” You asked.

“No.” Colson hiccuped. “We’re celebrating the fact that we’re not done.”

“Yes, yes we are.” Dom agreed. “You see, if we were done, which we’re not, then we would have nothing to do. And then we’d be bored. And being bored is the worst thing on planet earth.”

“I think you just wanted an excuse to drink.” You giggled.

“Hey!” Dom shouted with furrowed eyebrows. “You are absolutely correct.”

You ruffled Dom’s hair and sat in an armchair next to Travis. “Hey Trav, how are you?.”

“I’m good, how are you?” Travis smiled at you.

“Never better.” 

“Hold up.” Colson sat up straighter and looked between you and Travis. “You two know each other.”

“Yeah, Ash introduced us.” Travis explained. “11 minutes.”

“Ah, that makes sense.” Colson leaned closer towards Travis, yet he was still very far away. “I saw her naked, you know?” He whispered, very loudly.

“What?” Travis barked out in laughter. “Did you two hook up?”

“We did not!” You snapped. “He just doesn’t know how to knock.”

“I said I was sorry!”

-

Dom had a radio interview the next day, but he apparently forgot to tell you that Colson was going to be there. He mentioned it right as he killed the engine in the parking lot.

“What?” You hissed with wide eyes. “You tell me this now?”

Dom huffed and shook his head. “Yes because I knew you’d drag your feet if I told you earlier.”

“And you would’ve been right!” 

“He said he was sorry!” Dom said.

“But then he told Travis! What kind of asshole-

“He’s not an asshole, he was drunk.” Dom cut you off.

“But-”

“No, no buts. Get out of the car, we’re not fighting about this anymore.” Dom opened the car and slammed the door shut. 

“Ugh!” You groaned and followed him out. 

Silence enveloped only one minute of the five minute walk to the building. You sighed and reached out to loop your arm through Dom’s. “I’m sorry, I’ll try not to be rude to your friend.”

“Try?” Dom chuckled lightly.

“Do you even know this guy, Dom?” You asked. “I don’t wanna generalize but he’s covered in tattoos, he reeks of weed, and he drank a full bottle of vodka in one sitting.”

“You’re kind of generalizing.” Dom snickered.

You looked down at your shoes and sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just worried about you. My Hollywood star big brother. Don’t wanna lose you.”

“Don’t get all mushy on me.” Dom pulled his arm out of your hold and put it around your shoulder, pulling you close. “I’ll always be the same kid you’ve known since forever. Blood is thicker than water.”

“But love is thicker than blood.” You continued the phrase, smiling up at him. “Love you.”

The automatic doors of the building opened when you stepped up to them, leading you into the main reception. You followed the signs with Dom to the third floor where his interview was going to be broadcasted.

When the elevator doors opened, you saw Colson sitting in the waiting area outside of the studio. He got up to greet Dom and you kept your distance.

They spoke for a few minutes before Dom was called to start his interview. You rolled your eyes internally knowing that you’d have to stay outside with Colson until Dom was done. He had told you that the pictures could wait until the end and you told him you didn’t mind waiting outside. Boy were you wrong.

You slumped down on the couch next to Colson and hoped for the best.

“Did Dom drag you up here?” Colson asked. You were kind of glad he was starting a conversation because an awkward silence would be… well, awkward.

“No, I came out with him. Part of my job, you know.” You explained, lifting up your small camera as you spoke.

“Your job?” Colson asked.

“Yeah, did Dom not tell you?” Colson shook his head. “I started working for him like last month. I take pictures of his appearances and edit them for his socials.”

Colson hummed and nodded. “Makes sense, my team is all family too.”

“The best kind of team.” You felt your phone ring in your pocket as you replied. You pulled it out and saw that it was an unknown number, so you declined. “You got an interview?”

“Nah, I booked a recording booth upstairs with Mod for a couple hours.” Colson explained, glancing at his watch. “Got a few minutes before I can head in”

“I’m surprised you don’t look like a zombie after last night.” You chuckled. “With the full bottle of vodka and everything.”

Colon leaned back and chuckled. “I’ve done worse.”

“Like walk in on a girl without knocking.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“But then you went and told Travis.”

“I was drunk!” Before you could reply and make it worse, you laughed at yourself. “What’s funny now?” Colson groaned.

“Nothing, I- I just had this exact same argument in the car with Dom.” You laughed. 

“You were fighting about me in the car?”

You nodded. “A little. I promised Dom I wouldn’t start this again. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I know it’s a weird first impression.” Colson laughed. “It’s been good talking to you, but I’ve gotta head up to the fifth floor.  I’ll see you around?”

You looked up at Colson as he stood up, noting how incredibly tall he is. “Yeah, see you around Colson.”

-

The next time you saw Colson was a couple weeks later at a recording studio downtown that Dom dragged you to. The song needed some backup vocals and a few redos in terms of recording before it went into the final phase of production. 

You’d helped Dom with the song quite a bit at home, but you never went out of your way to attend every studio session with the rest of the team. And you usually loved helping out, especially with backup vocals, but today just wasn’t it. You liked helping out with songs when you didn’t have to drive for an hour and a half to a studio.

You groaned as your stomach flip-flopped from the car ride. “I’m going to throw up if we don’t get there in time.”

“Oi, hold it! Two more minutes, I promise. Fookin’ traffic, I swear.” Dom mumbled. “Col’s going to be there. Will you be good?”

“Hey, I was civil last time.” You defended yourself. “He’s not so bad, I’ll give you that.”

“So you’ll be fine if you’re stuck with him while I’m in the booth.” Dom asked, pulling up in front of the studio next to a purple car.

You nodded. “I’ll be okay, no need to worry about me.”

Dom chuckled as he unfastened his seatbelt. “I always worry about you, pudding face.”

“I thought Dad told you to stop calling me that.” You rolled your eyes as you opened the car door. Your first introduction to Justin’s pudding as a twelve year old left you with a face full of it. Dom found it to be the most hilarious thing back then and proceeded to honor you with the nickname ‘pudding face’. He loved it, you did not. 

“Dad’s not here, is he?” Dom called to you over the roof of the car. “That’s a fookin’ sick car, innit?”

“It is.” You agreed. “Is it Colson’s?”

“Yep, he’s waiting inside.” 

You followed Dom into the building where he clearly knew his way. You nodded and smiled politely to everyone he greeted with excitement.

Upon opening a door marked ‘studio 7B’, you followed Dom in and saw Colson on the couch with one other guy. Once all the guys hugged it out and introduced who needed to be introduced, Dom turned to you.

“Boys, this is my sister.” Dom motioned to you.

“Hey.” You smiled. “I’m here to take pictures and do some backup vocals.”

“Ay, backup vocals team!” The guy who was introduced to Dom as Rook reached out a hand for a high five.

“Yeah, but she’s mostly here for emotional support.” Dom chuckled as you high fived Rook.

“That too.” You laughed. 

Not long after the introductions, Dom and Colson made their way into the recording booth leaving you with Rook.

“So you’re his sister?” Rook asked, not surprising you.

“Adopted.” You answered and he nodded. “You’re doing drums too, right?”

“Yeah, but only ‘cause Trav couldn’t come today.” He explained. “He’s a fuckin’ god on the drums, that guy.”

“Tell me about it.” You gushed. “Watching him play is insane.”

“That’s what everyone says when I play.” Rook said with a smirk.

“I bet.” You nodded. “Drums are just like that.”

“Mhm.” Rook hummed in agreement before chuckling. “Kells told me about the idiot move he made when you guys first met.”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. “The biggest idiot move.”

Rook laughed and darted his eyes towards Colson in the booth. “Don’t be too hard on him though, he felt really bad after.”

“It’s alright.” You shrugged. “Only gave him shit for a little bit. Enough to keep him on his toes.”

“Good.” Rook nodded. Before he could continue, Colson popped out of the booth and slumped down on the couch next to you.

“Rook, you good for doing some vocals with Dom?” He asked, voice sounding somewhat pained.

Rook nodded and tossed him a ‘yeah, sure’ before heading into the booth. 

“You feeling okay?” You couldn’t help but be concerned.

Colson raised an eyebrow at you and laughed. “What? You don’t hate me anymore?”

“Pfft, you know I had to give you some shit about that.” You said light heartedly. “But seriously though, you don’t look too good.”

“I’ll be fine.” Colson brushed you off. “Got some chest pains. It’ll pass.”

“You sure?” Colson nodded. “Damn, you musicians always got me worried.”

“Why, Dom getting in trouble?” Colson chuckled. 

“No, but I gotta keep him in check.” You glanced up through the glass at Dom and Rook in the booth and giggled. “Like right now.”

The two of them were throwing around drumsticks at each other and not doing the backup vocals they were supposed to be in there for. You hopped up and leaned over the control panel and hit the button under the mike and spoke directly into their headphones. “I thought you were supposed to be doing backup vocals, not whatever this is.”

Dom looked up and made eye contact with you and laughed. “Come in and do ‘em yourself if you want ‘em done!”

You rolled your eyes and sat back down, choosing to ignore your brother. Soon enough, the light sound of them singing the chorus seeped into the room through the glass.

As you sat down, you felt your phone in your back pocket start vibrating. You pulled it out and saw the same unknown number that had been calling for a couple days. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before declining the call.

“You need to take that?”

“What?” You looked up at Colson and shook yourself out of it. “Oh sorry, no I don’t. Anyways, what were we talking about?”

-

The world was tuned out as you walked around the set with your headphones in. It was the last day for the music video shoot and the vibe on set was pretty relaxed. They were doing a few reshoots and crowd shots, simple stuff. And since your appearance wasn’t necessary, you decided a little walk to that smoothie place down the street couldn’t hurt anyone.

One last turn near Colson’s trailer before the exit and then you heard… screaming? Someone was shouting so loud at the gate that you could hear them through your music. You paused your playlist and listened closely to try and decipher the words.

“My daughter is in there! You can’t be serious!” A voice you almost forgot screamed.

“Ma’am, you can’t be here. You can wait for your daughter outside.” You heard the security guard say.

You stayed hidden behind Colson’s trailer when you heard the door open. You heard Colson’s boots hit the ground as he approached the lady.

“Can I help you?” Colson asked. Ugh, Colson! You knew he was only trying to help, but now? With your- this lady? Of all people, this lady?

“You!” You heard the lady say gleefully, no doubt pointing directly at Colson. “You’re exactly who I need right now! Listen young man, my daughter is on this set and I need to see her. It’s a family emergency. Her name is y/n.” 

You didn’t hear Colson say anything, clearly gauging the situation himself. He knew enough to know that this was not your mother. At least not anymore. Before you would have to struggle through a response, you decided to leave your hiding spot and face her before shit got ugly.

“She’s about this tall and she’s got- Oh, there she is!” She gleamed when she saw you. You felt your stomach churn when you laid eyes on her for the first time in years. “y/n! y/n, over here!”

Colson held you back by your shoulder before you approached her, making you look up into his eyes. He seemed to be asking if you really wanted to do this and you nodded, but you didn’t want him to leave. “Stay?” You whispered, and he nodded.

He stayed a few steps behind you as you approached your mother.

“Oh y/n! Look at you, so gorgeous.” She breathed out, sending shivers down your spine. You couldn’t count the number of times she had complimented before you left her because she never did. “You look just like your momma.” 

“What are you doing here?” You asked, not playing along with her little act.

“Like I was saying to that fine man over there,” She pointed at Colson and smiled, “we’ve got a family emergency.”

“What do you need me for? I’m not family to you.”

“Don’t be silly, of course you’re family. I’ve been calling for you ages, but you never pick up.” She spoke through gritted teeth. “Don’t cause a scene, stupid girl.” She whispered and leaned forward, grabbing your wrist with a tight grip. She pulled you towards her and reached up to pull at your hair like she always did when you were a kid.

Before she could yank your hair, you pulled your hand away and stumbled backwards into Colson who grabbed you by the shoulders. “Don’t fucking touch me!”

She gasped loudly. “How dare you scream at your mother?!” She walked towards you and slapped you across the face.

“What the fuck, are you insane?!” Colson yelled, pulling you away from her.

“And who the fuck are you, huh?” She spat at him, sickly sweet cover up gone as quickly as it always did. 

“I’m your worst fucking nightmare.” Kells seethed. “If you don’t leave right now, I’m calling the fucking cops. You hear me?”

“You think I’m afraid of some cops?” She laughed. “Call ‘em. See if I care.”

Colson stared her down before turning to the security guard. “Can you please escort this lady off the premises?”

“Sure thing, boss.” He nodded and grabbed her arms and held them behind her back. Her screams and yells became background noise as you watched Colson turn to you.

“Are you alright?” He asked, pulling your hand away from your cheek and wincing at the sight of your swollen red skin.

“I’m fine.” You sniffled. “Please don’t tell Dom.”

-

Dodging sweaty bodies right and left, none of them were the person Colson was looking for. He wasn’t expecting you to come to the wrap party after what happened earlier, but Dom told him that you had arrived with him.  

Knowing why you didn’t want Dom to know, Colson promised you he wouldn’t say anything. Dom was letting loose and celebrating the end of their hard work. If he had seen what happened a few hours ago, he wouldn’t be as carefree and happy as he is now. Colson sent him a nod and a smile from afar as he continued his search for you.

Every room, bathroom, corner, nook, and cranny was searched, but to no avail. His house was packed with people, but not to the degree in which he couldn’t find a specific someone anywhere at all. He pulled out a joint and lit it in frustration. He puffed out the smoke as he bound up the stairs two at a time. He needed a breather, and the best place for that was his balcony.

The party was almost completely shut out once Colson shut his bedroom door, yet he could still feel the bass of the speakers in his feet. He stepped over piles of clothes and dodged three suitcases from his last three trips to the airport. Pushing open the balcony door, he felt the fresh air hit him.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and stepped out into the moonlight.

“Hey.”

His bedroom balcony is not where he expected to find you after everywhere he looked.

“Fuck dude, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Colson sighed, coming to lean against the railing next to you.

“Sorry.” You said softly. “Needed a breather. After what happened.”

“Me too.” He said before taking a drag from his joint and letting it out from his nostrils. “That was fucking heavy.”

“Tell me about it.” You chuckled darkly. “Glad it’s over.”

“When was the last time you saw her?” Colson turned to you.

“I’m not really sure.” You mused. “I think I was eleven.”

“Holy shit.” He said, eyes wide.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “There was the court stuff when I was thirteen, but I don’t remember much of it.”

“I get it.” Colson said. “Mine came over every couple of months after she left, but I don’t remember any of it. Good thing, too. I don’t wanna remember that shit.” 

“Blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood.” You said the phrase out of instinct, not really thinking of it. It was the catchphrase of the Harrison family as soon as you moved in with them, everyone said it at least once a day.

“Why do you say that all the time?” Colson asked.

“What?”

“You and Dom.” Colson motioned to the back where Dom was downstairs. “You always say that. I’ve heard it almost every day since we started writing this song together. Blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood. Why?”

“It’s this song. Dad would play it for me every night for the first year I stayed with them.” You smiled and recalled the lyrics. “Our family never shared the same last name, but our family was a family the same. And they say blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood. Kind of turned into our catchphrase.”

“It’s a good catchphrase to have.” Colson nodded. “You don’t just get to be called family, you earn it.”

Colson held out his joint towards you and stood up a bit straighter. “To our fucked up childhoods.”

You laughed and took the joint from between his fingers. 

“To our fucked up childhoods.”

[indistinct-echo]

2020 Fic Masterlist

I just hit 300 followers last night, so it’s the perfect time to do a fic roundup! As I started writing fic in January of this year, below the cut you can find all of the fics I’ve published so far :) Can’t wait to see what’s to come in 2021!

‘G’

Concrete Bird (G / 410 / Oneshot) [Introspection / No Dialogue / pre-Dan]

It's difficult feeling like the only one. And, once he finds people like him, Phil learns that decoys can't give him love.

i'd rather be at home (G / 860 / Oneshot) [Fluff, Early Relationship]

Home means a lot of things, and it means a lot to Phil.

We Kept Them All (G / 1k / Oneshot) [Epistolary / Established Relationship / Reflection]

Remember the promises we made? We kept them all. While packing house, Dan finds and considers an old list.

 ‘T’

Incoming Call (T / 340 / Oneshot) [MSN Chatlogs, Getting Together]

DAN: i thought you said phone calls are lame PHIL: yeah, but talking to you isn’t

Doin' the Pigeon (T / 570 / Oneshot) [Magical Realism, Talking Animals]

Phil talks to animals. Dan doesn't quite believe him. *Steve hadn’t been named yet when I wrote this

transparency (T / 2.5k / Oneshot) [Introspection, Family Dynamics]

(a monochrome-universe fic) Dan and his parents have about as honest a conversation possible when none of them are quite willing to tell the full truth.

Bowling (T / 4k / Oneshot) [Fluff, Angst, Growing Up]

Dan and Phil have gone bowling a number of times throughout the years. 2009 - 2010 - 2012 - 2015 - 2017 – 2020

 ‘M’

Borrowed Time (M / 1k / Oneshot) [Introspection, Birthday Angst]

"Aging is certainly better than the alternative, but the weighted baggage of birthdays means that, today, Dan needs to exert a little extra effort to keep himself afloat."

Houndstooth (M / 2k / Oneshot) [Werewolf!Dan, Temporary Amnesia, Magical Realism]

Phil finds himself in a forest that feels familiar but that he can't quite remember. There he meets a man who is more than meets the eye.

Any Day (But Sunday) (M / 5k / Chaptered – WIP) [Angst, Superstition, Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsions]

Phil confronts his superstition of cutting his nails on Sunday. Rejecting tradition is never as easy as it seems.

 ‘E’

Wet [Dream] (E / 1.7k / Oneshot) [Sex Swap, Trope Subversion, Vibrator]

Phil wants to "secretly" watch Dan experience a wet dream. That requires a little more creativity when they're two men with vulvas.

in the dead of night (E / 1.8k / Oneshot) [Vampire!Phil, Mermaid!Dan, Smut]

"Merrow blood smells so much sweeter than human blood, masking a tartness that warns creatures like Phil that the being before them isn’t easy prey. He loves Dan’s blood for both reasons; the risk only heightens the pleasure."

Sensory Deprivation (E / 2k / Oneshot) [Handjobs, Blowjobs, (Minor) Watersports]

Phil buys another hour in the sensory deprivation pod. This time, he brings Dan along.

in full bloom (E / 2.3k / Oneshot) [Plant/Human Hybrids, Handjobs, Blowjobs, Size Kink]

Where Dan is a lace lily and Phil is seagrass. (Inspired by Phil's plant tour video)

Hold Your Breath and Swallow Three Times (E / 2.4k / Oneshot) [Blowjobs, Breathplay, Kink Exploration]

Phil gets the hiccups from giving Dan a blowjob.  Dan helps him get rid of them.

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee (E/ 5.4k / Oneshot) [Established Relationship / Omorashi / Desperation]

"His heart pounds from the caffeine and anticipation, but he holds and holds and holds. He wants to keep this from Dan just a little longer, wants to see how far he can edge himself before it becomes too much to bear alone." or Dan and Phil + 'just normal bathroom stuff'

refraction (E / 15.1k / Chaptered - Complete) [Anxiety, Introspection, Blowjobs, Dom!Dan/Sub!Phil]

(a monochrome-universe fic) Dan doesn't want to wait any longer: it's time to share with Angie and PJ his Fall Whisperer identity. This really isn't so scary... oh, who is he kidding, it's terrifying. Cue supportive-boyfriend Phil, amateur-therapist Dan, and a healthy dose of luck (+ bonus smut).

Nature's Call (E / 16k / Oneshot) [Getting Together, Omorashi & Watersports, Bed sharing]

When Dan goes camping, all sorts of limits get tested.

[beautyiswithinchaos]

Quiet Company

*** disclaimer: all new work is here @chaos-is-beautifvl ***

a/n: this is my first time writing for Jim and i think it’s one of my favorite works now

summary: sometimes quiet company is the best company...

warnings: mentions of drug use & alcohol use, mentally and emotionally abusive parents, so much angst (sorry not sorry)

word count: approx. 4K

Tagging you guys: @matildaofoz @prophecy-is-inevitable @rocketgirl2410

Palos Verdes. A town filled with plastic people, fancy clubs, and a never-ending ocean. Well, it wasn't never-ending, but boy did it stretch on for miles. If you could choose, this was the last place you wanted to be. Everyone here was so stereotypical but in the not so good way.

The only place you ever got any peace, quiet from the rest of this godforsaken town - was the beach. You didn't like the way the sand clung to your clothes or managed to get in your shoes and bag, but after a while, it became routine. You would go about your day and end your nights sitting on the sand, listening to the crashing of the salty waves as they collided with the rocks.

Your routine was the same today. You woke up, restless from getting little to no sleep, but that wasn't anything new. Everything else had followed suit per usual, and you found yourself back in your car, driving out to the beach. Stars filled the night sky, some shining more brightly than others. That's how it always was, in the sky, in the world, and especially in Palos Verdes. There were some people here who managed to outshine others, and it wasn't in an unsettling way. No, they were the stars that weren't like everyone else, conforming to their own rules.

Now, you sat on the sand, still warm from the harsh rays of the sun earlier in the day. You breathed in the salty air, inhaling it as a smoker would do with the smoke that infiltrated their lungs. Something was calming about it. Maybe it was the fact that it never changed - even if everyone changed, yourself included, this never would. The crash of the waves, grainy feel of the sand, all of it, it would never change. Maybe that's why it was comforting.

Someone came clambering down the slope, a curse leaving their lips when they stumbled. You sighed, your peace interrupted too early. You didn't move, though, keeping your eyes on the water as they settled down onto the sand.

The flick of a lighter sounded, and soon after, the smell of smoke reached your nose, making your face scrunch. "You know, smoking can kill you, right?"

You weren't sure why you said anything. When other people had disrupted your peaceful time, you stayed quiet, grabbing your things and leaving. Those people were the stars that shined too brightly, in a way that made you lose trust in the world.

"Well," they started, voice sluggish, "lucky day fo' me, isn't it? It's marijuana, not a cigarette."

You resisted the urge to turn to the person, "Still could kill you." Your response was simple, not needed, and probably not wanted by the person sitting next to you, but all in all, simple.

"Yeah, well, probably be doing everybody a favor."

---

The next morning, there was something different. You could feel it, but you weren't sure what it was. Throughout the day, that feeling crept around the back of your mind, plaguing your thoughts.

That feeling stayed with you as you settled down on the sand, pulling your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. The waves didn't have your focus as you laid your head on your knees.

The person came down the slope again, but this time, they didn't stumble. Well, not exactly. You caught a glimpse of brown hair as they came and sat next to you. When you didn't hear them flick the flighter or smell the smell of the marijuana burning, you spoke, "No drugs today?"

"Hey, now. Marijuana is not a drug, it's-" The brunette paused when you snorted, a soft laugh leaving your mouth.

"What's so funny?"

You shook your head, "Nothing."

---

The next few days were the same - you would be on the sand, watching the waves under the night sky, and down would come the brunette, whose name you learned to be Jim. You would quip a witty remark, and he would respond. After that, it would be silent. Neither of you saying anything.

Tonight, however, was different. You got to the beach later than usual due to a shift of plans that left you in a sour mood. Jim was already there, a dazed look on his face. He turned to you as he clambered up, stumbling like the first night you met. "Y/N, you're here. I was-" he hiccuped, "I was waiting for you."

You hummed, walking over to him, a vacant look on your face. Jim tilted his head, eyes cloudy from the drugs you knew he took. "What's- you look sad? Are you sad?"

"I don't know," you replied, honestly. Visits with your father never really bode well, but this visit was one of the worst. The words he said hissed at you before your mother made you leave reverberated in your mind, bouncing off every wall as the waves did with the rocks.

A laugh shook you from your thoughts. You looked up to Jim, his head thrown back as he let out a hearty laugh. You waited for his laughter to die down before speaking, "I don't see what's so funny about what I said."

He looked at you, a cheeky grin on his face, "It's just... you never know how you feel. I ask, and you say 'I don't know.'"

You mulled over that thought, and you realized that Jim was right. You never knew how you felt. You just went about the motions of the day without ever asking yourself how you were doing. Turning back to the brunette across you, you saw he was looking up at the stars, "How are you doing?"

"I don't know either."

---

That night, when you got home, you thought about what Jim had said. As usual, you didn't get much sleep, but this time, it wasn't because of the visit. No, it was because thoughts of the brunette with eyes like the ocean, who was always either high, drunk, or both, filled your head.

The next day, you got to the beach earlier. You didn't visit your father or your mother. You couldn't, not after what transpired the day before. Hours had passed, and while you weren't sure why, you missed the company of Jim. It was an odd feeling as you had never exactly missed anyone before. Well, that was a lie. You had missed people before, exactly four people. But only those four, well, now it was five.

With a heavy sigh, you grabbed your bag, brushing the sand off your clothes. You went up the slope when a yell caught your attention. Flipping your head in the direction of the noise, you saw someone bounding towards you. It was Jim. You knew that floppy brown hair from anywhere.

He came to a stop in front of you, a smile on his face. "Hey." You tried to hide your frown when his words came out sluggish, but luck wasn't in your favor. Jim's smile faltered, his bottom lip jutting out, "You look sad again."

"I'm fine, Jim." You looked down, biting down your lip, "I missed you over there." He looked over to your usual spot, one you now shared with him. "Sorry," he giggled out, "my friends - they wanted me to hang with them."

"Do drugs, you mean?" You weren't sure why you said that, and you regretted it once a frown replaced his half-pout. "I'm sorry. That was rude - god, what is wrong with me?"

He didn't reply, not that you expected him to. For some selfish reason, you wanted him to leave, to get mad, to call you a bitch. You didn't like the way he made you feel, and no, it wasn't that feeling people get when they fall in love with someone. It was the feeling that you could trust him, that you wanted to trust him.

"Come here. I want to show you something." He turned and started walking away from you. You faltered, unsure if you should go with him.

Walk away now, Y/N, you thought as you held onto your bag. It's easier to walk away now.

Jim looked at you over his shoulder, "Come on, Y/N. Live a little." Begrudgingly, you followed after him, pushing back the pessimistic thoughts that you would regret this to the back of your mind.

"You surf?" Jim asked as both of you stared out into the ocean. Your mind was like the ocean, a chaotic mess - something beautiful because of how disordered it was.

"Nope, but I'm assuming you do." Surfing wasn't for you as Palos Verdes wasn't for you. You didn't think it was for Jim, either. He was one of the better stars, the ones that shined more brightly than others in the best way.

"Yeah. Medina and I surf all the time, well, when we can. It's nice, you know? Being able to lose yourself in the waves."

You didn't know who Medina was, and you didn't ask. All Jim needed to be was quiet company, nothing more, nothing less. It was better that way. He didn't know much about you, and you didn't know much about him.

---

Two nights later, you found yourself back at the beach with Jim. It was routine, and you felt like you couldn't go without it. You were afraid of that, always afraid to get close to someone. You were even more afraid of getting too close to Jim.

You met him by the shore this time, right where the dry sand and the water met. It was a fine line, and it seemed as though you were crossing it. You knew that getting so close to him wasn't right, but just like drugs gave him a high, he gave you one.

"We should get in," he said when you came up beside him. You shook your head, laughing. "No, Jim. We are not getting in."

"Why? It's just water. Come on," he grabbed onto your wrist gently, and your breath hitched. It had been a long time since someone, anyone, had held you so gently.

"No, I can't, Jim." He didn't seem to understand, only tilting his head, "Why? Why not?"

"I can't swim," you said, crossing your arms over your chest. For some reason, you felt defensive. Good, you thought, it's better to keep my walls up.

"Then what the hell are you doing here?" Jim asked incredulously as if you had said something completely atrocious. "What do you mean by 'here'?"

He shook his head, spinning around with his arms wide open, "Here. In P.V."

"It's complicated," you stated, wanting the conversation to be over and done with. Jim wasn't up for it as he kicked at the sand, "That's what everyone says. They say it's complicated. But it never is. They just don't want you to know them."

You sighed, running a hand over your face, frustratedly, "You don't need to know me, Jim. And I don't need to know you. It's easier that way."

---

You were drawing shapes in the sand with your index finger as Jim laid beside you, taking a long drag from his cigarette. The smell of smoke filled your lungs like the first night you met, blending in the taste of the salty air. It was a weird combination, but it was comforting, something you had grown accustomed to.

"Do you live with your parents?" Jim had asked you personal questions before, and you had shut him down every time. It's easier this way. That's what you told yourself every time you pushed him away. But Jim was like the ocean, drawing you in and drowning you. He wasn't drowning you in a bad way, though. You realized then that Jim was an addiction, something you knew you shouldn't have but craved anyway.

This time, you gave in. "No, I don't live with them. Do you?"

"My dad is married now to Ava. She was our real estate agent. She and dad fell in love and boom." He brought the cigarette to his lips, "New family."

"We both have crappy families, huh?" Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to let Jim in.

"My sister is the best. Her name's Medina. You would like her."

---

You and Jim grew closer. Some nights you would talk for hours on end about anything and everything. Other nights, you would just sit together, listening to the crash of the waves.

One night, when you wanted to be completely free, you asked Jim to teach you to swim. You were nervous, but you trusted him more than you probably should have. But you were in too deep, out too far in the ocean.

Jim wasn't just your quiet company anymore. He was your anchor, keeping you above the surface and away from the strong currents. One day, though, you would have to let him go. You didn't want that, but you knew it was coming. It's like when you're surfing, not that you had before, but that moment when you feel a big wave coming, and even though you think you're ready, you're never really prepared.

---

You sat in your car, fingers tapping against the steering wheel. You contemplated on whether or not you should get out. There were pros and cons to your decision - getting out had more cons, and staying in had more pros.

You decided on the former. Grabbing your bag from the passenger seat, you adjusted it on your shoulder, a sigh leaving your mouth as you walked into the building. When you reached the door, you sighed again and prepared yourself for whatever insults or accusations might come your way. Raising your hand to the wood, you hesitated. Did you really want to do this? Subject yourself to pain - time and time again. The truth was you didn't, but you still knocked on the door, awaiting a reply.

The door swung open, and you sent a gentle smile to the nurse. You swore that she was the only sane one in that room. Your mother and father were quietly talking, stopping when you approached. Taking a seat in the chair next to the bed, you took your bag off and set it on the floor.

"Hi, mom, dad." Your father grumbled, eyes boring into you with disinterest. This, much like you getting little to no sleep, wasn't anything new.

"What are you doing here so late?" Your father spoke, voice gruff and harsh as if scolding a child. You weren't a child, though. You had stopped being one a long time ago when the reality of the world came crashing down.

"I'm not too late. I had to work a little later than-" Your father's scoff stopped you from continuing. You looked down, briefly shutting your eyes, relishing this small moment of peace before his tyrant of hurtful words left his mouth.

"You don't have to lie, Y/N." It was your mother this time who spoke. You scoffed, turning your attention to her. She held your father's hand in hers, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. When you were younger, you thought it was one of the most intimate things, but as you got older, you realized that she was consoling him when he had done something wrong.

"I'm not lying, mom. If it's really a problem, and you don't believe me, then you can call my boss." And this is what you despised most about your visits. Your mother would defend your father when he would say something cruel or mean.

"Probably sleeping with him," your father grumbled yet again as he lifted his strawberry Jello cup to his mouth. From the corner of your eye, you saw the nurse, Julia, taking a step forward. You shook your head slightly, and with a defeated look, she went back to tending to the room.

"I don't do that. I would never-"

Yet again, your father cut you off, and you kept the tears filling your eyes at bay. "And you wonder why I'm like this." He gestured around the room. "I'm in here because of you! You and all your ways!" You flinched when his voice rose.

"Stop..." You shook your head, fingers digging into the arms of the chair. Your father acting this way wasn't new, but the way he yelled made your stomach churn.

"Do you know he thought about hurting himself because of you?" Your mother spoke, projecting her own guilt onto you. You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip as you shook your head, tears brimming in your eyes. It was like the ocean, teetering over the edge of the jagged rocks without actually going over.

"I haven't done anything." Your voice was shaky, and you knew that at any moment, you would break. You were like a levee, too much pressure, too much pain, and it would give way. And you would be drowning in your pain, all alone.

"Why do you even come here?" Your mother asked, standing up, a stern glare set on her face. You tried to ignore the little smile on your father's face. Of course, he's fucking enjoying this, you thought as you tapped your fingers along your thigh in an attempt to calm yourself.

"If you're going to act this every time I come here, then I'll stop coming." You were tired - that was an understatement. You were exhausted and worn out. Your parents only cared about each other, always double-teaming you. It was never playful banter; it was harsh.

"Maybe that'd be better for everyone," Your father said, and that's when you shut down. The roar of your blood rushing in your ears reminded you of the ocean. It reminded you of the way the waves rolled over on each other.

They kept speaking, but you didn't say anything. Your parents threw insults and hurtful words your way, and all you could do was sit there and listen. At one point in time, it would have broken you, but now, you were numb.

You stood up quickly and grabbed your bag. You mumbled a quick 'bye' before rushing out of the room. Tears fell from your eyes and down your face as you threw open the driver's side door.

A broken sob left your mouth as you started the ignition and began driving. You didn't understand. What had you ever done wrong? The answer to that was nothing. You had nothing, but for some reason, your parents treated you as though you had.

No destination was on your mind as you drove. You just needed to get away, get away from your parents, away from the pain. It was sad, really, how your parents treated you. Instead of supporting you, they belittled you. Every time you thought things were getting better, they would turn around and prove you wrong.

You blinked away tears when you stopped the car. You were at the beach, but it was day time. You got out of the car and headed down to your regular spot, hoping no one was there.

Unknown to you, your nighttime friend was there, intoxicated by the drugs and alcohol he took. Everything in his vision was hazy, but you weren't. He was you clearly, tears in your eyes as you rushed down to your spot. Jim stood up and started walking after you when someone tugged on his jacket sleeve.

Rubbing his eyes, he turned to see Heather tugging him back to her, "Where are you going?" Jim shook his head, his vision not as clouded as before, "I gotta- I gotta go."

"Jim," Heather called, a pout on her face. "Stay."

Once again, Jim shook his head, shrugging her off of him and walking after you. He found you, your knees brought up to your chest as you watched the waves.

"Hi." You didn't turn but responded with a soft, "Hi, Jim."

He sat down next to you, closer than before, "What's wrong? You look sad." He always thought you looked sad. You didn't notice, but there was always a vacant look on your face along with a frown. It was as if though you couldn't be happy without unhappy thoughts filling your head.

You turned to him, tears in your eyes, "I'm tired, Jim. I'm so fucking tired." He stared at you for a moment before patting his thigh. You raised an eyebrow, and he patted it again, "Come 'ere."

You scooted closer to him and laid your head in his lap. It was comforting, not the waves, but the warmth radiating off of him. Even though the sun was out, you felt cold. It wasn't until then that you realized you were always cold, in constant need of having someone's touch.

"Jim?" He hummed, fingers ghosting over the side of your face. "Do you hate me?"

He looked down at you, wanting to meet your eyes, but your focus was on the tumbling waves. "I don't hate you. I don't think I could ever hate you." Jim mumbled the last part quietly, more so to himself than to you.

"Everyone hates me. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe that's why everyone leaves."

"Hey..." he said softly, gently turning your head so that you were looking at him. In a way, you were still looking into an ocean because you felt yourself getting lost in his eyes.

"It's a selfish thing to ask, but would you leave me?"

He shook his head, "No, I wouldn't leave you, but you might leave me." You laughed, and he smiled down at you, "What's funny?"

"You."

"It's nice," he said, trailing his fingers along the side of your face, making your eyes flutter close. "Hmm, what is?"

"You talking. You don't talk much, always quiet, always sad."

"Parents suck." Jim laughed, and you swore it was one of the most calming sounds you had ever heard. "Yeah, they do. They're sort of hypocrites, you know?"

You nodded, reaching a hand up and pushing a lock of hair away from his face. You had never taken the time to look at him, but now, you didn't know why you hadn't before.

"You're good company. Did you know that, Jim?" You memorized every detail on his face, every little mole, the shape of his mouth. You knew that one day he would leave, just as everyone else had, and that's what scared you. Jim was the first person in a long time who made you feel safe.

"You're one of the good stars," you said sadly, closing your eyes and listening to the roar of the waves.

Jim didn't say anything, only continuing to trail his fingers along the side of your face. In his drunken and high haze, he didn't know what you were talking about, and it became quiet.

Just as before, like the first night you two met, it was quiet, a warm and comforting quiet. There were no words that needed to be said as the two of you basked in each other's presence.

When you opened your eyes, Jim wasn't looking at you anymore. His eyes were on the water. You turned your head and looked in the same direction.

You were sad. You knew this wouldn't last forever. The two of you being free from the rest of the world. You and Jim were those stars - the ones that outshone the others. Jim had a chance, a chance to get away. He needed to. This town didn't deserve him, and you didn't think you did either. He was too special, too good for someone as broken and screwed up as you to have.

So, for now, you would cherish these moments because one day, it would all end, and you'd be alone, drowning in the ocean of your pain.

—

a/n: part 2? if so, i have ideas in mind

[ateezmakemeweep]

richboy!seonghwa (part 22)

word count: 4k

angst, fluff, smut

(part 21) (series masterlist)

you had thought that after a few weeks, you and yeosang were gonna start to have hiccups. that your old banter and fighting and animosity towards one another would somehow rise to the surface, push past the sexual tension and attraction and show it's true colors again.

but your two-month anniversary was only a few weeks away and you two were still going strong. still exploring each other's likes and dislikes, annoying habits and quirks and finding out more and more that the unique magnetic pull between you two seems to be something very real.

if you guys weren't out on a date, walking through the park or trying out a new cafe, you were at his house, giggling and kissing one another before the night inevitability turned hot and heavy.

"you know, i don't think... we've ever finished a movie here," you tell yeosang breathily, the boy's strong hands on your waist as he kisses down your neck.

you had been testing him all night, curling yourself on his lap and wiggling with just a little too much purpose. wrapping your arms around his shoulders and ghosting your lips over his. running your fingers through his hair and letting your nails lightly scratch his scalp.

because you just love his reactions, love watching him smirk and try to ignore you until he eventually snaps. but he only hums against your skin, grounding you down more on his hardening groin causing you to let out a shaky gasp.

"maybe because you can't keep your hands to yourself," he says before pushing you down on your back, pressing his body against yours and taking your wrists in his hand.

you smirk at the sight of his red, puffy lips and messy hair; this is what you've been waiting for. his grip on your wrists as your arms stretch above your head, his ticking jaw and dark eyes shooting a jolt of excitement and warmth through you.

"you play with me on purpose, don't think i haven't caught on."

you lick your lips before pressing them into a firm line, attempting to show a look of indifference as you shake your head innocently. "i don't know what you're talking abo-"

his lips crash down on yours and you smile against them, arching your back in his hold before wrapping your legs around his waist. his hand tightens around your wrists ever so slightly at the new position, his tongue peeking out to invade your mouth.

you guys hadn't gone that whole way regarding sex but you've definitely done more than make out. because the amount of times his fingers have slipped inside your thong on this couch, your chest pushed flush against the fabric of the couch as you kneel between his legs and take his length in your mouth, was just a little embarrassing to think about. it had gotten to the point where he immediately invested in a set of blinds for the glass door.

and your teasing proves to be a success because, with your wrists still in hand, he's quick to pull down on your leggings and underwear with the other and circle around your clit. you moan out his name and it only spurs him on to apply more pressure before his pinky finger slides in your wet entrance.

"yeosang," you whine. because he knows that's not enough even though he already has your legs shaking.

"shut up," he growls, something hot and tingly burning deep in your stomach; it's incredibly ironic (and actually a little shameful) how quickly you listen to his harsh commands when you're under him opposed to in your normal day-to-day life.

"you do this to yourself every time, baby," yeosang mumbles, awarding you another finger when you do indeed shut up, before bringing his face to yours and placing a kiss on your mouth. "now you're gonna sit through the punishment."

"a punishment you say?" yunho says, throwing his arm around you as he guides you to your 4th period class that following monday. "and what exactly did that entail?"

"wouldn't you like to know," you tease, bumping into him playfully before squinting your eyes at him. "i'm sure mingi could show you it firsthand though."

you were 99% sure the boys were about to start dating and was 100% sure they both had crushes on each other.

because it was so sickeningly obvious, their banter and touches and gazes that always look far too sweet and loving for them to claim they're best friends. you had always noticed it but it became increasingly obvious after the day at the amusement park, when mingi had come back with seonghwa.

his gaze never left the boy, his rare hint of smile only appearing when yunho looked his way or said something funny.

"him giving me a punishment?" yunho laughs out, "i'd love to see him try."

"why?" you squeak, poking him in the side as you wiggle your eyebrows up at him. "because you have a crush on him?"

"no, my love," the boy says simply, humor in his tone as he watches you lean against the wall outside your classroom. he looks side to side, making sure the boy didn't somehow just appear, before he leans down to whisper in your ear. "because he's the biggest bottom i've ever seen."

a loud laugh erupts from you as you hit your friend in the arm, "yunho!"

"what! i'm just saying, y/n."

"so you've thought about it, then?" you ask, brewing with excitement at the budding romance between your two best friends. but he only rolls his eyes and shakes his head, insisting it was as easy to pick up on as the sky being blue.

"but...i couldn't tell that," you say, eyebrows pulled together in confusion and then even more when yunho throws his head back in laughter. "what is so funny!" you whine.

"nothing," he teases, biting his lip before a familiar looking face catches his eye. seonghwa passes the both of you quickly, your eyes meeting as he greets you both with a small smile and wave before he disappears into the classroom.

"yikes," the boy says under his breath. "and how's that going?"

you let out a sigh, shrugging your shoulders because that's the only way you can describe it. your relationship will probably never be the way it was before, just talking about anything and laughing with one another carelessly; because now you're lucky if you get more than ten words out of him when it's just you and him together.

"he'll say hi and stuff, ask how my weekend was and if i'm doing okay with my work," you tell him, "but apart from that...eh."

yunho quirks his lip to the side in dismay, frowning at the sight of you dejected. "it's still hard for him, i guess."

"i guess," you sigh, "but i should go in. i don't want you to be late." he smiles softly at you, tucking a piece of hair that fell out from your ponytail before nodding. "i'll see you at lunch."

you nod your head quickly before walking into the room, taking your usual seat in the back and passing seonghwa who never did move back to the empty one in front of you. you sit down and take your books out, ready again to look at the board and ignore the sight of the back of the boy's head mocking you.

but if you thought that was mocking, your teacher's words ten-minutes later completely rendered you a speechless fool.

you had known about the presentation due the day before christmas break and you had known that it would be with a partner - but you didn't know that she'd be picking them and you certainly didn't know you'd end up with no other than:

"park seonghwa," you hear right after your name is announced. your eyes widen as your teeth sink into your lower lip before you notice the boy two seats ahead of you stiffen immediately. you know this is probably the last thing he wants and that he has every right to be uncomfortable but the reaction still hurts your feelings.

you hear the girl next to you let out an annoyed scoff, turning your head to see her eyes narrowed at you with a fire you were once so used to building behind them. it's been quite some time since you got bullied, everyone deeming you harmless and not worth their time for which you were grateful; you had even almost forgotten everyone and their mother thinks you're a poor beggar.

but perhaps that's because now they've switched up their material.

the teacher dismisses the class five minutes early, sharing far too much about the amount of drinks she had this morning and her weak bladder, leaving all the students free to chat and pack their things up before the bell.

and that's when the girl and her minion take their chance, sit on their desks and spin themselves around as they cross their legs in a lousy attempt to box you in.

"you must be pretty happy about your partner," one of them says, tone and smile sweet as candy but you know these antics far too well by now to think she's being genuine.

"and why's that?" you ask, not about to beat around the bush or entertain her juvenile behavior.

and apparently it pisses her off that you didn't go all doe-eyed and feign innocence the way you used to, hit her with a naive 'of course i am, seonghwa's one of the top students.'

"because isn't it time to bounce back to him now?"

your eyebrow raises at the comment in surprise, turning your head to the side in confusion. "what?"

the girls look at each other and share a snide laugh. "really? you were up his ass the first month and a half of school," the other girl chimes in, her eyes ghosting over seonghwa who's talking to the boy in front of him. "and then all the sudden you drop him and start dating yeosang, his best friend nonetheless?"

"i wasn't up his ass, we were just..we're friends."

but the sinister, bitchy smirks on their faces don't care to hear that.

"we were just innocent little friends," the girl mocks with a laugh before a hard, serious look crosses her face. "like you weren't a second away from dating him before another boy looked your way."

"sounds like you're a whore to me," the peanut gallery chimes in again.

"a total whore," the girl says, smirking as she looks at you with tears brimming your eyes as anger and hurt stir in your stomach. "it was very distasteful, y/n, playing the two of them like that. you could've ruined a friendship."

"i wasn't dating, seonghwa," you say quietly, the same way your mind has repeated that statement to you over and over and over again these past few months.

"but you would've," she's quick to add, "because everyone knew how much he liked you." the girl's eyes again graze over to seonghwa who's head is turned straight in his friend's direction. "but you really messed up with your whoring around, huh? since he's not over here defending you."

"how sad," the girl says, "but if he did, i'm sure she'd be with him next week."

"they share her. gotta making herself money somehow."

and that's when you've had enough, wiping a tear that's rolled down your cheek before your chair scrapes on the floor and you quickly make your way out the door. you text mingi and yunho, praying that one of them can get out so you don't have to have this breakdown alone.

and it's a breakdown seonghwa knows you're gonna have which is why he immediately jumps up from his chair and over to the girls, the look on his face so angry and full of rage they almost regret messing with you.

"how many times do i have to tell you bitches to leave her alone?"

their faces drop at seonghwa's profanity, looking to one another in shock that seonghwa can only roll his eyes to.

"we were just trying to stick up for y-"

"just shut the fuck up, how 'bout that?" the boy growls, "you two don't know shit."

the girl's look at him in fear, getting more and more nervous at the anger directed at them; but it does nothing to simmer the boy.

"she's been through enough from all of you and she doesn't need anymore. so just stop. fucking. talking to her."

the girls can only blankly stare at him, the rest of the class sensing drama and falling silent.

"do you understand me?"

the girls swallow nervously, not sure if seonghwa even noticed how much he got in their face.

"forgot how to talk?" his loud, harsh voice growls out.

and lucky for them, they remember how to and quickly rush out swears that they won't talk to you anymore. but he only rolls his eyes and sneers at them, plopping back down in his seat as his foot jerks anxiously in hopes to get out of this room.

and lucky for you, mingi gets out of his class immediately. he ushers you into the nurse's office where you spend the next period crying and venting to the boy. asking him if those girls were right and if you were using both of them during that time. because you've even thought to yourself how you were once so sure about liking seonghwa and convinced you'd want to be with him.

"you were allowed to be confused, y/n," mingi tells you softly, "you had one hot guy and another..cute-ish guy after you." you pout and hit him playfully when even during a pep talk, he still finds time to make a dig at yeosang. "and you hadn't even be here that long and they were both coming on strong. it was exciting and there was no right way to handle it."

you let out a tiny sigh, leaning your head on his shoulder as he pats your back in awkward but comforting mingi fashion. "you hadn't given yourself to either of them, you weren't indebted to be with seonghwa just because he was nice to you."

and deep down, you know that, you've known that. but it hurt hearing it from an outside source. which mingi is quick to clarify that they didn't know what they were talking about, that they only said those things to hurt you and that you shouldn't let it work.

"besides..." the boy says after a few minutes, after you've smiled and wiped your tears. "it's not like you kissed both of them or something."

your face falls when you see the shit eating grin on mingi's face, who's quick to take your face in his hand and squeezing your cheeks teasingly. "that was mean," you mumble out, words morphed by his hold on your jaw before you rip your face away.

"it was kind of funny," the boy says despite the smile not dropping from his face. you both hear the bell ring for next period and you watch mingi's eyes light up at the sound. "c'mon, are you hungry? i'll willingly share my food with you."

"fine," you grumble out, eyes narrowing at him as you pick up your things. "but like i'll get a chance, yunho eats all the fruit in two seconds."

a scoff leaves the redhead as he nods his head, throwing his arm around your shoulder as you both make your way to the library.

and in a sick, twisted fate, the two girls who attacked you in class pass you by. they're quick to look at mingi, his harsh glare and lip curled in disgust causing them to advert their gaze to his hand on your shoulder before looking you dead in the face.

"great, that's just great," you whine to the boy next to you, "and my body count raises to three. i can't wait for the shit they're about to say tomorrow, probably gonna tell the whole class i have an std or something."

a snort leaves mingi as he shakes his head and tightens his hold on you. "i love you but i don't know if i'd ever kiss you."

a sarcastic laugh leaves your mouth as you shake your head, being sure to look right at him when you say "that's because you're a bottom!"

he stops in his tracks and his arm falls from your shoulders when the words leave your mouth, a mix of shock, embarrassment and amusement on his face. "what..what did you just say to me?"

"don't think i don't know these things," you say to him, "it's as obvious as the sky being-"

"y/n."

the deep voice immediately causes you to turn around; you haven't heard him say your name like that in months. seonghwa's looking at you and mingi almost apprehensively, an unsure look on his face probably due to the fact he heard people ream into you about being a whore and using him...but who's to know really.

"hi, seonghwa."

the two of you hold each other's gaze amidst the busy, bustling hallway, the both of you waiting on the other to respond or say anything else. but mingi's quick to break the tension, despite his own confusion about being called out less than a second ago, telling you he'll give you two a minute and will see you in the library.

you and seonghwa both nod before walking off to the side, out of harms way from bustling students and oversized backpacks smacking into you. he's leaned against the wall, teeth between his lip as he watches you look at the floor and play with your hands nervously.

"are you okay?" he asks and the scene is so familiar, it brings the slightest pang of pain to his chest.

his eyes move further down, brows knitting as his stomach sinks because just the mention of this party has you nervous, has your hands folded into one another and fingers fiddling nervously; he feels the familiar feeling of guilt start to creep in his veins at that moment.

"come with me?" he mumbles suddenly, placing his warm hand over the both of yours and rubbing them calmingly before taking one in his grasp.

"are you gonna be okay tonight?" he asks quietly, taking a step closer to you and causing you to bite the inside of your cheek nervously, "i...we can do something else if you want."

a shy smile makes its way on your face, you heart warming at the gesture and the sincerity in his eyes. because it's so thoughtful and sweet and your heart continually melts when he shows time and time again how considerate he is.

but you don't wanna ruin the fun nor do you want that event to taint any other experience you might and will have. it appears though that even with your positive and strong thoughts, it doesn't translate to your body's natural nervous reaction. doesn't stop your stomach from feeling queasy or your mind start to race with the hazy memories.

you're suddenly very interested in the pictures on the wall behind him, eyes darting to take in the drawings and snapshots of the ski lodge throughout the years. the picturesque town, an overview shot from the ski lift at sunset, snow-covered tree, the-

his warm hand on your jaw moves your face ever so slightly so your eyes immediately fall back on him, your tongue darting out to lick your lips nervously and you don't miss the way his eyes follow it.

"y/n?" he hums, head cocked to the side as he looks at you, his gaze gentle and patient.

"no, i can...we can go, i'll be okay," you stutter out, your head turning to look at the table of excited boys throwing crumbs at each other.

"are you sure?" he asks, noticing where your gaze shifts and letting out a sigh, "they won't mind, you know."

"thank you," you say softly, turning back to him face, "but i promise it's okay, i...i think it'll be fun. we can dance."

a soft smile makes its way on his face and he has to suppress a laugh thinking about the kind of dancing you think is appropriate at a party.

"you're two left feet say otherwise," he quips, letting out a laugh when you smack his chest lightly.

"shut up!"

"yeah," you say quietly, ripping him from his memories as he finally notices your eyes on him. "i'm just...i'm sorry you had to hear that. it was embarrassing."

"they're just stupid," he says to you, the angry growl seeping back into his voice. "and they don't even know what they're talking about."

you swallow down the lump making its way in your throat as you nod at him, feeling grateful he's not standing here and yelling at you that they were, instead, absolutely correct. there's a few moments of a slightly awkward silence before a strangled giggle leaves your mouth.

"hey, at least they stopped calling me your poor maid."

and to both your surprises, he lets out a laugh as he shakes his head to the side. "i forgot you were my maid."

"hm guess i've been doing a shitty job, then."

another chuckle leaves his mouth and your eyes meet again, the guarded glint in his eye making you falter ever so slightly. but it only lasts for a few seconds, him quickly moving his gaze to the library before he mentions you guys being partners for the project.

"oh...yeah," you say, your voice dragging out at the end because you don't wanna say the wrong thing and make him feel weird. because is he gonna suggest asking the teacher to make a switch? or be completely fine and start talking about topic ideas and meeting places?

you don't wanna presume anything but then you're pleasantly surprised to find out it's the latter, him telling you it'll probably be best to meet in the library after school one day.

because he doesn't think it'll be...appropriate to have you back over his house or in his bedroom. and he also doesn't hate himself enough to try and put his weepy, fragile heart through that.

"so we'll start meeting next week after school?" you confirm, your bright smile causing his heart to constrict.

"yeah," he says, meeting your smile with one of his own and for a split second, you remember why your stomach and heart used to flutter to a dangerous degree.

you send him one last smile and take a few steps before he calls out your name again. you quickly spin back around to see his tooth in his lip, his hand on the back of his neck that you remember is a nervous tick.

"i'm not mad about anything," he tells you, "i know i've been awkward and distant lately but i...just need you to know i'm not mad at you, okay?"

you feel stupid tears sting behind your eyes, his soft voice and softer words causing you to smile and nod at him. and because you don't think you can get any other words out, you can only get out "okay."

"okay?" your voice confirms sweetly and a smile of his own finally makes it's way on his face. it's small but it's there and your stomach is fluttering at the sight of it.

"okay."

a tiny giggle suddenly bubbles out of you and he looks at you strangely, eyebrows furrowed but eyes holding a certain fondness at hearing you laugh after such an intense few minutes.

"did you see that movie?"

his eyebrow raises, eyes looking at you questioningly as he removes his hand from your face and a gasp falls from your lips.

"hazel and augustus? terminal cancer? the anne frank house?"

his look of confusion only deepens, looking at you as if you've spoken another language.

"i wish i had any idea what you were talking about," he says, sarcasm dripping in his tone and a scoff leaves your mouth as you roll your eyes.

"ugh and the stupid rich boy is back," you tease sarcastically, eyebrows shooting up playfully as you poke his chest daringly.

he smirks thinking back to you muttering to yourself in class with your flushed cheeks and babbling and he can't help but scoot a little bit closer to you in the bed.

you know the memory smacks you both in the face when your eye contact breaks, you taking a few steps back and him shaking his head as his gaze hits the floor. "see you tomorrow," he says gruffly and then before you can even respond, he's gone and around the corner.

you walk into the library with a sigh, plopping down in your usual seat and running your hands through your hair until yunho's bubbly voice pierces your ears.

"you told mingi he was a bottom? where did you ever get that idea?"

(part 23)