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stop trying to suck me off i'm not done telling jokes

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just had a lesbian experience in a church parking lot???

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intermission updates:

dan as TSA: “why does this man have 13 sex toys and a golden pig in his carry-on?” Phil: “look. You need one for every month and then one bonus one”

Literally no lights on them invisible silhouettes for the first 20 mins

Pumpkins, clothes, bus, vegas

Dan “I love a good probe,” bends over, Phil pretends to probe. Phil begins normal sentence with the word “but…” and Dan bends over again. phil probes again. Dan: “sorry, he said butt so I bent over.” whole thing happens again 15 seconds later (don’t remember this bit from other shows???)

“I gentrified him” instead of “I colonized him”

Phil did a lovely little twirl through the fog after lawyer dan got burnt

Lots of piss talk…. Lots of piss talk

They keep gaslighting us into thinking there was a blizzard here and they sang lizards.mp3 but as blizzards

Also I love them wonderfully and dearly and the mullet absolutely FUCKS

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[x]

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PHOOKBOOK DELIVERED.

thank you so much to @leegallyeevil for the gorgeous art, genuinely so far beyond any dreams or expectations i had for the cover

i will post the full pdf for everyone to enjoy as soon as i get back from iceland! thank you all for not murdering me when i wouldn't stop complaining about this project. i'm sure i'll have more to say later and hopefully when i watch my m&g video back i don't think i was too cringe to share it because i really want to show everyone their reactions

they said they'll try not to burn their kitchen down, i'll believe it when i see it

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'dear mr and mr we/us pronouns' oh yall are BOLD

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Happy dnp kiss on stage day to all who believe

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they’re being cute again 😭😭

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February 7, 2025

are tits showing today?

TERRIBLE INFLUENCE TOUR IS SHOWING

the tits are out for their very last appearance in Reyjavik, Iceland tonight. we are facing imminent tit death (or perhaps tit rebirth 👀)

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What Dan & Phil Text Post Each Other (39/?) — Happy Final TIT 🩵

Congratulations DNP on completing their 3rd world tour together. Mr. and Mr. Games, it's an honor to be terrible influenced by you 🩵

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tatinof: Here we are!

ii: Here you are!

WAD: Here I am!

tit: Here we are, together!

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Kiki and Bouba yes I am familiar

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February 6, 2025

are tits showing today?

TERRIBLE INFLUENCE TOUR IS SHOWING

silly dan and phil, your nether regions are going to be the theme for the next tour. in the meantime, the tits will be showing in amsterdam, netherlands tonight

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not doomed by the narrative but saved by the narrative. yeah i know you'd rather die than keep suffering but the story doesn't actually care what you want. you have to keep going, even when it hurts. even being erased from existence won't stop you from being salvaged from the wreckage of un-being. get up. keep pushing. keep bleeding. keep living.

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honestly? i would welcome post-sims 25th birthday stream phannies with open arms. anyone unfamiliar with dnp who witnessed that freakshow and decided they wanted more would fit right in

you know what honestly that's so true WELCOME HOME BABY PHANNIES it gets so much worse <333333

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the best frame of every dan and phil video is the one where phil is doing something unbelievably stupid and dan looks at him like he hung all the stars in the sky

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hiii just out of curiosity does anyone have a google doc link for the story of tatinof??

cough