#watch me drop it after one week
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school driving me so crazy im boutta write a book
#no i have not forgotten the 4 people that still have event requests#but like bro fnaf book#just shh and think#no time like when youre going fkin crazy am i right#or am i right#exactly bro#hehehhe#hahaha#lol#.#watch me drop it after one week#kidding im NOT#or am i#will i finish the book or will the book finish me stay tuned
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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The fucking disconnect is so real.
#theo's thoughts#Story time for the people who love reading tags bc I love sharing things in the tags#So I work at a therapeutic day school and this past school year like four school days before Thanksgiving break I was asked a question#The question was if I would be willing to step up and be a long term sub in a middle school classroom#To me this was less of a question and more of a hey we need someone to do this and you're who the assistant teacher asked for#Which cool yeah fine I'll give it a go I really like that person (the assistant teacher who asked for me) and I trust her judgement on this#I was asked and accepted on Thursday. Friday‚ Monday‚ and Tuesday happen. Then three day Thanksgiving break#When we got back from break I was the teacher and it was rough at first and it sure as hell was never easy but I enjoyed it#My formal teacher observation was my boss basically going like so I see you doing all the things and the basis is there#But it's not being followed through on because of behaviors from the most unmedicated classroom I've seen in all my years working education#And now for the summer they're changing 2/3 staff that were in the room and who even knows who the teacher will be (a new hire? Maybe?)#If there truly is a new hire coming in (fed to the wolves immediately btw what a dick move) but that new hire will be the fourth teacher#These kids have had in a year? A year and a half max. The fourth. After the only thing I've been repeatedly told by admin for months#Is that we need to be stable and consistent because we may be these kids' only reliable source of that consistency and stability?#So you're going to have me come in and tell me I've done such a great job and then tell me you're moving me to 'give me a break'#Trauma informed care my fucking ass. I hope those kids raise fucking hell over it.#The brutal satisfaction of watching your own crops burn and knowing that the invaders will starve is great and all but these are kids!#They're barely just about to be teenagers (11 at the youngest and 14 at the oldest) and this is what you're going to do to them?#Yes they can be complete assholes and are often dicks to one another but they're in our school for a fucking reason? I don't get it.#Then two hours later after being told abt the change‚ the clinical director puts me as one of the three main recipients in an email#Saying that there's going to be a new student starting in that room in the summer and the real icing on the cake?#This all happens on last day before summer break. we're out of session for two weeks now and you're just dropping these changes on us now?#God I'm so fucking tired
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nano day 2 & 3 update
day 2
Total Word count: 1689; 1421 towards a fic, and 268 towards my main wip
Did a lot of handwriting so I wasn’t able to see exactly how much I wrote until I typed it up today (hence the late update)
day 3
Total Word count: 1603; 901 towards a fic, and 702 towards my main wip
I did two sprints towards my main wip and got ~350 words for both 20min sprints, im kinda proud of that ngl
I’m making steady progress and for the most part on track for that 50k which is kinda neat! (still not what I’m going for tho so i can’t let it get to my head lol)
but overall I’m feeling really good so far I’m excited to see what I accomplish tomorrow :D
#bet you all thought I gave up after day one huh#but no!! i was just too busy last night to give an update lol#‘you all’ being the three (3) people who know I’m doing Nano#the fic writing kinda dominated the past few days#Im hoping the oc brainrot will kick in at some point bc I really do want to prioritize that#‘i just need to get this fic out and then I’ll be good’ I say but then watch me say it again next week with another fic#it’s okay tho I’m not in a huge rush for cryptids wip#like i kinda should be if I’m aiming for 2025 but it’ll be okay#i don’t want that pressure at such an early stage#anyway I don’t expect to get a lot of writing done tomorrow bc we’re having Guests 😬#but i will try my best#my drawing will also be dropping SIGNIFICANTLY this month#i say as if it hasn’t already the past several months 💀#but Im not feeling that bad about it compared to before bc there’s no Events that are adding pressure to my creating#any time I do draw will be in my sketchbook. it’ll be a nice break from digital#i Can finally make some progress on those jojo spreads I’ve been dying to make#and by make progress I mean I’ll barely finish one lol#(i dont mean that negatively. I’ll be having fun the whole time I’m just making fun of how slow I am)#anyway#dahl does nano 23
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I'm like. actively being abused at home. What do I even do about that.
#://#Today she said I am disgusting and unapproachable and will never have friends or find love because I make everyone I meet uncomfortable#Because I don't shave my legs#When I told her I keep blacking out from my chronic pain she said 'that's a little dramatic'#When I told her I should probably go to the hospital for that she shushed me because she was trying to watch her fuckin. Fringe show#Always with the shushing. Every time I speak :((#She said I should go out & do something and quit being so lazy. So i said I would ride my bike but the tire is flat#She said 'why are you so useless' :((#When I was projectile vomiting for three days I told her I had a 104°F temperature and she said 'darn'#I asked if she wanted to watch Ponyo with me and she said 'oh my god I don't want to watch your stupid crap shit'#When I dropped a cup of gatorade and mopped it up (agony for chronic pain btw) she felt where it was still sticky and said#I'm so stupid and it's my fault we have ants (we do not have ants)#So I said 'yeah mommy I think my fine motor skills are getting worse I can't hold things or swallow very well'#She said 'have you tried paying attention??' :((((#I told her I had a sunburn and it hurt and she said 'youre so needy'#I got beat up in middle school and I was crying about it and she said it was all my fault because I was annoying#I was also sexually assaulted that same week but after the way she responded to that I was not going to tell her#One time when we were at the doctor and checked yes for suicidal thoughts she started screaming and crying#About how much we hate her and think she is a bad mother and how ungrateful we are#If I read this list to her she would say I was making it up and trying to make her look like a bad evil person#Because she is!!! She insults and belittles me so much I genuinely wish she would just beat my ass instead#I'm 20 years old why are you talking to me this way#I know it's all verbal abuse but. I'm so fucking miserable I want to die living here#Oh wait one time she strangled my little sibling because they complained about finding blood in their can of tuna
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when you were trying to girlboss but ended up being the one needing to apologise … wtaf i want a refund
#like i thought i was right @ the time but like ??? idk now#like in the heat of the moment i deadass thought i was right#okay so this is what happened:#me n one of my besties are essentially in a fwb sitch#n like we’d been planning to have a night in for a week#so come day of … all is going well .. he picks me up from class; takes me back to his and we … engage#then i had a meeting so he said he’d use the time to decide what we’d be eating#but once my meeting was over he says ‘oh i didn’t realise tht it’s y’s birthday (one of his besties) and i have his present and we’re#going to watch john wick…’ n my face deadass visibly changed#and he came towards me put his arms around me n went in for a kiss and i pushed him off of me and he asked what was wrong n i said nothing#but like when we got out of his apartment i said ‘you don’t need to drop me off; i’ll walk’ n he said no bc he was going tht way anyway but#i just stormed off … bc i felt like i was just meat to him#but like thurs night i was on a bit of a bender and was out until 4am#and wasn’t responding to my parents#and so THEY FUCKING CALLED HIM#and he just said ‘no; she’s not w me’#and like i had tried to reach out a few times after and he kept ignoring me#but today when i apologised for my parents calling him he responded#and so i said sorry for storming off as well … and tht i wanna be friends again :(#but like yh … was i wrong to storm off? idk someone help me lol#beebs.txt
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People are always so willing and eager to help at the start but when you don’t get better right away when they realize this is a life long thing you have to deal with they sure do disappear fast
#they stopped visiting me after the first week at the psych ward#they kicked me out of iop when they decided I wasn’t improving enough#most therapists don’t even last one full session before turning me away#everyone offered a place to crash but when I’m not magically on my feet and okay right away they want me gone#and I’m fuckin sick of everyone thinking I’m not trying#you’re not sat with me messaging the suicide hotline three times a day just trying to stay alive#you aren’t the one on three different antidepressants plus vitamins and supplements#you aren’t there when I walk six hours a day only to be paid a fourth of what I was promised#you aren’t the one covered in bruises from working#you aren’t the one watching how much you’ve dropped in weight when you were already underweight because now you can’t afford food#You don’t see me living in a dark closet and by this time tomorrow back in an abusive house#no shit you don’t see any changes cause you aren’t around for it and I’ve spent the last 20 years hiding how bad it all is#ghost rambles
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I always forget this wasn’t a thing everywhere but my high school had a fun and innovative way to torment us in PE. They got heart rate monitors. It was this awful strap that went under the bra line and paired to a watch. The first day was great cause we got to set our resting heart rate. We did this by laying in a dark room and napping.
But then once a week we’d have to strap on these monitors and go running. The monitors were old tech and didn’t always pick up your heartbeat, so you’d have to use cold water between it and your skin to get a better connection, gods know why. Warm water never worked. After the day our watches would be collected and our efforts recorded.
The idea was that if your heart beat too fast you were supposed to stop, and if it was too slow you’d speed up. In practice this was ridiculous, staying in the green zone all class was ridiculously difficult.
Even people like me who were stubbornly resistant to running the mile couldn’t stand the horrific constant beeping and made attempts to placate the reviled machine. It was always fairly miserable. I had PE first thing in the chilly morning, dashing cold water on my skin before running around half awake was the low point of my week.
But for some unknown reason, the teacher insisted that no play could happen on these days. We were given the freedom to run all over campus but woe betide us if we tried to make a game that actually made this enjoyable.
We’d initiate games of tag only to get yelled at for not just… running. Any kind of play was forbidden. On one memorable occasion someone got a kickball and we started an impromptu soccer game with it.
If someone’s heart rate got too high they’d drop to their knees to wait out the shrieking of their watch so an extra element was added to the game of trying to win without going too hard. I remember being absolutely delighted, the thrill of that game still lives in my heart, hoping I could score a goal before my heartbeat betrayed me to the hated watch.
When the PE teacher found us we were soundly scolded and the ball was confiscated. Our happiness burst like a soap bubble and we turned our back to the enchantment of the green field and resumed slogging along in a grey haze as expected.
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Im watching a video on how to replace the slider rails for the joycons on a switch cuz thats whats wrong with my switch and they sell replacement parts on amazon but the dude recording the video is only using manual focus AND IS NOT FOCUSING THE FUCKING CAMERA ON WHAT HES DOING
Like
Bro
Just use fucking auto focus in that case at least that will focus on what its supposed to SOME of the time.
Like.
*moves switch towards camera* "as you can see there's some structural issues on this switch."
NO I FUCKING CANT
ITS FUCKING BLURRY
Then. Then. He'll focus the camera on it. Alright cool. AND THEN PUTS THE SWITCH BACK DOWN SO ITS BACK OUT OF FOCUS
MY GUY
#like i understand this isnt your day job and in most cases i dont care about shoddy camera work in a youtube video#but youre trying to SHOW how to disassemble and switch out parts on an expensive device#its not super helpful if the whole video is out of focus#like im trying to not break my switch here#hence why im watching a video instead of just reading the instructions online#this is something that i require visual aids for#i mean im prepared to buy a new switch if it comes down to it (like tbf i didnt take great care of this one for a few years there)#but id rather try the solution that only costs me like $10-$20 max first before dropping $200 on a 7 year old game console#but its getting to the point where its almost unplayable if the joycons are connected to the switch itself#and for zelda playing with them disconnected is fine. its not my preference but i can see whats happening from a distance#but its not as cozy and its harder to play outside my room when i need a surface to set my switch on while i play#wiping it down with rubbing alcohol worked briefly but after a few weeks it's almost worse than before
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I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha
I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.
I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.
It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.
Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?
And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.
The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.
These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?
Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.
The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.
After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.
#It's not that I think everything has to be character driven or take a lot of care about dynamics#Death Note for instance works well without it. There's juice in the dynamic between Light and his father and the role of Matsuda there#and it works well with Light's views and their evolution and the whole Kira situation. It isn't much. It doesn't need more#But Death Note doesn't truly drop something as big as Gojo and Megumi to then do barely nothing about it#('But L and Watari' not the same at all. That was deepened in the anime and besides Watari is not one of the main characters)#Or Megumi and his sister. If we see barely nothing of Megumi and his sister other than shiny flashbacks of her#how am I to feel moved by it all beyond superficial emotions? I don't know. It just feels so like cardboard to me#And it annoys me! It annoys me a lot! Because Jujutsu Kaisen has amazing potential! The dynamics and characters could be amazing!#But I don't trust they'll live to their full potential and the potential existing for nothing is ruining this for me xD#Jujutsu Kaisen#Sorry this time I'm tagging it. I want to find this and see if I was right when I'm finished. I think I'll read the manga too#The condescending filler breakfast comment by my friend was ironic considering the Kramer vs. Kramer breakfast scenes exist#Breakfast can be so telling. And besides he loves the Chainsaw Man coffee scene so I don't get why not breakfast#But truly some small daily life moments can tell us a lot about a character that we could recognise later on in high stakes scenes#such as how they deal in tense situations‚ what makes them snap#how they go about dealing with a problem.#Sometimes it could be smaller moments or conversations what makes characters reconsider things‚ not just having Sukuna rip their heart out#In Pandora Hearts the conversation between Elliot and Oz about the book series they love and their favourite characters becomes key#Oz's development and how he regards things‚ his own person‚ and how he deals with situations will be shaped later on by this conversation#till the very end. The entire main character's development is shaped by a 'filler' conversation.It's not filler. It's just not a fight scen#Shonen manga readers find everything filler except for fights which is ironic considering that many fights in shonen feel unnecessary#Breakfast is unnecessary. Just filler. Fighting thirty seven secondary monsters or chapter after chapter of physical training is not. Okay#Things can be small but plot relevant. If it shapes and fleshes out and deepens a character or a relationship it is not filler#And mainly MAINLY for the love of everything good if you're going to make a fucked up or Meaningful Beyond Everything dynamic#give it time and care. Actually write it. Don't give me two panels and one conversation after some life and death situation. It's not enoug#Especially if I'm to believe they are important. Make me believe they actually are#I don't know... This issue with not trusting the development of very well set potential in Jujutsu Kaisen#has not only been keeping me from thoroughly enjoying the series‚ but actively keeping me from watching for weeks#It makes me doubt if I want to spend my time in this at all since after all time is limited and we can but spend it in a handful of things#A pity. I really love some things and I really think Megumi and Gojo could be everything to me haha the Heathcliff/Hareton vibe gets me
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nanami knows that his dick is good. that his dick can turn a 2/10 day to a 10/10 week. that even though you hated giving head to your ex-boyfriends, you’d gladly drop anything to suck his dick.
nanami watches you, letting out short groans and whines as he watches your mouth move up and down his dick. whenever, wherever, he’ll let you have it. he’s yours and you’re his! ofc he’ll let you have him anytime <3
nanami who dicks you down anytime you’re horny, stressed, or just plain wants it. he’s ready when you are! he’s suck a gentlemen with it too, cleaning you up after you suck him off or take his dick, gently cleaning you with a damp towel or the wipes he keeps in the dashboard of his car.
nanami doesn’t believe in condoms, well, he did but after you let him hit it raw once, he was hooked for life. he’s such a gentlemen though, so if you want him to wear one he will but you both know it feels better when you’re skin to skin.
nanami who, even though he loves receiving, loves giving even more. he’ll have his head in between your legs, sucking on you like his life depends on it. even when you tug on his dirty blonde, salt and pepper hair, he shakes his head.
“‘m not done, sweetheart. need to finish eating, yeah? you gonna let me?”
nanami who looks at you from between your legs, lovestruck after you pass out from rounds of head from him. his eyes never your head is laying against the pillow as if you’re deep in a peaceful sleep, a contradiction to the events that just conspired before.
“poor baby.. aww, don’t worry, i’m here”
nanami who cleans you up each time after he’s in between your legs. in the bathroom, he admired the white slick left on his face and chuckles as he washes it off. he’ll take a damp cloth and a glass of water from the kitchen before he comes back. sitting on the edge of your shared bed, he gently cleans you before closing your legs, pulling e covers on you
“see you when you wake up, love. i’ll be here”
#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x reader smut#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jjk nanami#nanami smut#nanami fluff#nanami kento x reader#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami#HE WANNA F R EEEE A K#rina thinking 📝
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no idea why but for some reason i feel like the next episode of dr who's gonna be one i'll especially want to be caught up for? again no clue why i feel that way since i'm currently behind - it's not even like i've seen the teaser for it yet or anything - but fwiw the last time i had that feeling was before fugitive of the judoon, and love or hate that episode i'd say i was right about needing to experience it in real time. i've never been one to care about spoilers much but i do very clearly remember making a point of staying off dr who related internet spaces until i got home from work the day that one dropped (and having any feelings that remind me of pre-pandemic 2020 is already a trip in itself wow) & i kinda think im about to wind up doing the same this weekend (since i already know im not gonna be able to watch it right away)
#i will however try to catch up now so im at the right point to watch it soon as i do get a chance (& thus return here)#oh & i should state for the record i am not one of the people who thinks jonathan groff is gonna be playing jack somehow#(i realize that could sound like the implication given the otherwise very random comparison i just made. trust me i meant it to be random)#to be honest i would love to see his character be something like the one jamie parker voiced in plight of the pimpernel#(i mean if it has to be like anything we've seen before that is. which of course it doesnt)#again i have zero reasoning for this#i mean aside from simply having enjoyed that audio#but who knows perhaps once i catch up to where rogue actually falls in the season i'll have taken that back#it was a rather dark twist i could easily see it not being appropriate to drop in the middle of just any old season#depending on what the vibes of the surrounding episodes are i mean#i get the sense the most recent one was about racism no?#so for all i know maybe now is actually the time for a lighter one#still cant believe how far into this season we are#then again i cant get used to these short seasons anyway & i dont intend to either#8 episodes is honestly disgraceful it does NOT get credit just for being longer than flux#at least that had an excuse#anyway on the off chance anyone's been wondering - this is why i've not been posting much about current who lately#i've been too busy to keep up but hopefully that changes this week#the david tennant specials i also watched far after the fact & never bothered to formally comment on them#i think i may have thoughts on the first & last ones typed up in my drafts somewhere but im p sure we're done discoursing about those#so i was planning on just letting it go for now anyway#we'll see
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today was. good. yeah. needed that.
#logbook#yesterday i went straight to rents after work and ate food and then napped until like. midnight lol.#migraine was soo bad. so i just stayed over. and then in the morn at like 6a i sat on the porch and listened to the rain and windchimes#and the birds were singing and the air felt cool and smelled nice.#ate breakfast hours later. finished an anime. then i drove to one of my local plant shops and bought carnivorous plants#and also some on sale terracotta. im going to make a bog i think.#and then picked up rent and drove out to a former coworkers nursery. bought a mountain mint we dont sell at work.#saw ducks and chickens and she gave me a pride sticker but as merch for the nursery!!! ahhhh so good.#uhhhh then went grocery shopping and dropped rent off at church. then drove to thee plant shop and got bugs for jael.#and also some isopods!! and then drove back home with crap i dont have space for yet but thats a okay. sooo close.#the connections you make with ppl. . .the owner of the one plant shop#her husband recognizes me now bc he helps out and we made eye contact while checking someone else out and smiled 🥺#and when i was next in line she grinned so big and was like heyyyyy so good to see you!!#oh and i saw a former coworker there too! she came in to shop. that was nice.#and the other coworker is doing soo good. shes been growing natives and her garden shop is filled with so much color. and regulars!#i wish she wasnt so far out id go there more often. i get to see her sometimes at work in the morning when she buys soil but.#she lit up when she saw me. like she does every time 😭#and thee plant shop. where i helped her run a plant swap. and i buy dubias from her every week just about.#and ive been shopping there since she first opened those years ago. she says hi and calls me by my name irl. and we chat more and more.#being human really is about connections and communication. at least for me. we are not meant to wander this earth alone.#did you know. that quote is from op 😭 i think abt that almost every day.#and then i watched some op with the ex. we're finally to little garden. soo close to alabasta.#happy first day of pride. and happy gum gum saturday!
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The Joker is Dead (and always has been)
Danny is attending Gotham U and gets caught up in a Joker escapade and realizes the clown is, in fact, a ghost.
Suddenly everything makes an insane amount of sense: the fact that no one has killed a psycho with seemingly human-normal abilities yet, that Arkham can’t keep him for more than a week, the obsessive behavior, the appearance.
Honestly, Danny should have clocked this before he even met the spook.
And Danny doesn’t want to step on any toes, really. The Bat and the Joker have A Thing going on. But, the Batman just isn’t equipped to really put a ghost away. No wonder there’s a breakout from Arkham every couple of months. How many other Gotham rogues are obsessive ghosts haunting the city?
Joker doesn’t display any of the usual ghost powers he associates with his own “rogues”—who’ve really become more like unwanted relatives over the years what with their dropping in uninvited, making a mess, and then ditching before they had to help clean.
It strikes Danny, as he’s being tied up by the clown-costumed goons, that maybe the Joker doesn’t know.
Huh.
How does he broach the topic in a sensitive way?
“Hey, uh. Not to be rude but… You know you’re dead, right?”
Danny winces. Not like that, probably.
The Clown Prince of Crime stops in front of him, the crazed light in his eyes dimmed slightly by confusion. He glances back and forth between Danny and the students around him who are shying away from their insane classmate. (Which is. Fair.)
A menacing giggle warbles from the specter’s throat. He leans into Danny’s bubble, that eerie grin stretching somehow wider.
“Ohhhh really?” The clown draws it out and Danny can hear the crackle of static in the high notes. Honestly. How did no one figure this out before? “And are you gonna kill me, hmm? Have I got a widdle hero in my bait tank?”
“No, no, I mean, it’s not… you’re not… like? You’re not alive,” Danny rambles, trying to clarify and failing utterly. “You’re already dead.”
The Joker tilts his head, eyes dilating and glowing toxic green. He considers what Danny said, then throws his head back and cackles like a hyena.
The ghost doubles over, even, laughing so hard it sounds like he’s gonna bust something. He puts a white-gloved hand on Danny’s shoulder for support and squeezes, just shy of hurting.
After an uncomfortably long moment, the ghost wipes imaginary tears out of his eyes and pats Danny on the back so hard he stumbles and falls to his knee.
“You’re a riot, kid! If I didn’t have a date already planned…”
He trails off and ambles away, still chuckling and muttering to himself. “And they say I’m crazy! Wait til Bats hears about this!”
Danny watches him go, despondent.
It’s always harder when they don’t know.
This is gonna be a mess.
#dc x dp#fandom fusion: dpxdc#writing prompt#story ideas#new hyperfixation#basically Danny is like trying to exorcize Gotham to get an education#no idea where it goes from here
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🍉
#everytime i see a viral video from p/alestine i get so fucking paranoid that in two weeks im going to see an update that is/real dropped#a bomb on their house and killed their entire family#part of me wonders whether all of the killings are planned like that one grandma that went viral and was shot by a sniper but the other part#knows that p/alestine is g#etting bombed so frequently and indiscriminately that the colonizers could have no fucking clue who's in those houses beyond the fact that#they're p/alestinian and that's enough to murder them#everyone is getting killed in such a blasé manner i can't even tell if its targeted or not its all so fucked up and western power sits#watching its lapdog destroy another country full of innocent brown people who did nothing but exist in the way of colonial expansion#and i hate it because- how'd that one post go#if we dont stop this- in 200 years p/alestine will get a day of remembrance maybe and half meant apologies#and the cycle of racist colonial violence will keep spinning unchanged even after the deaths of another people millions strong#and the white people in power will pat their kids on the head and say ''oh hun that was centuries ago. it was terrible but we've progressed'#and somewhere else another population will be screaming out as their crushed for existing just a bit to inconveniently for capitalism
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