#again i have zero reasoning for this
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no idea why but for some reason i feel like the next episode of dr who's gonna be one i'll especially want to be caught up for? again no clue why i feel that way since i'm currently behind - it's not even like i've seen the teaser for it yet or anything - but fwiw the last time i had that feeling was before fugitive of the judoon, and love or hate that episode i'd say i was right about needing to experience it in real time. i've never been one to care about spoilers much but i do very clearly remember making a point of staying off dr who related internet spaces until i got home from work the day that one dropped (and having any feelings that remind me of pre-pandemic 2020 is already a trip in itself wow) & i kinda think im about to wind up doing the same this weekend (since i already know im not gonna be able to watch it right away)
#i will however try to catch up now so im at the right point to watch it soon as i do get a chance (& thus return here)#oh & i should state for the record i am not one of the people who thinks jonathan groff is gonna be playing jack somehow#(i realize that could sound like the implication given the otherwise very random comparison i just made. trust me i meant it to be random)#to be honest i would love to see his character be something like the one jamie parker voiced in plight of the pimpernel#(i mean if it has to be like anything we've seen before that is. which of course it doesnt)#again i have zero reasoning for this#i mean aside from simply having enjoyed that audio#but who knows perhaps once i catch up to where rogue actually falls in the season i'll have taken that back#it was a rather dark twist i could easily see it not being appropriate to drop in the middle of just any old season#depending on what the vibes of the surrounding episodes are i mean#i get the sense the most recent one was about racism no?#so for all i know maybe now is actually the time for a lighter one#still cant believe how far into this season we are#then again i cant get used to these short seasons anyway & i dont intend to either#8 episodes is honestly disgraceful it does NOT get credit just for being longer than flux#at least that had an excuse#anyway on the off chance anyone's been wondering - this is why i've not been posting much about current who lately#i've been too busy to keep up but hopefully that changes this week#the david tennant specials i also watched far after the fact & never bothered to formally comment on them#i think i may have thoughts on the first & last ones typed up in my drafts somewhere but im p sure we're done discoursing about those#so i was planning on just letting it go for now anyway#we'll see
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The kids talk shipping with their sci-fi uncle, Ford meets up with some old friends, and Stan discovers the effects of leaving something untreated.
Overall, Stanley just really, truly, does not like any of this.
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#gf theseus’ guide#bill cipher#mabel pines#dipper pines#billford#i would like to say this is my favorite chapter . except . i know whats coming#but star trek my beloved#listen if you don't like star tek you can at least relate to stanley in this moment#a guy who hates that show for healthy & normal reasons . not at all related to growing up as a bisexual man in the 60's/70's#hi by the way i love stanley . yay#oh also you know what's great about writing fic . i can make up oc's who i have absolutely ZERO visual image of#genius and trip . my beloved oc's who will definitely show up again and definitely did not get blowed up forever .#stump art#stump fic
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[insp] [Alex]
Prince Henry of Edinburgh is accurate to the movie don't @ me
#red white and royal blue#henry hanover stuart fox#henry fox mountchristen windsor#alex claremont diaz#taylor zakhar perez#nicholas galitzine#rwrbedit#rwrb movie#rwrb source#the real reason alex whipped out his phone#do you know how many times i re-wrote whether arthur would be a duke or not#my poor flatmate does#maybe this is why the book had shitty research#i also changed my mind about catherine being princess of wales between alex's gifset and henry's#teeeechnically after the succession act in 2013 she could have been given the title?#but.... i don't see it happening#(yes i know she was in the book but once again the book put zero effort into researching anything british)#(and i'm not sugar coating my opinion of that lack of effort)
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More than just the Demon.
#ffxiv#digital art#zenos yae galvus#venat#endwalker spoilers#will forever be fascinated with this man#look guys look- the literal embodiment of wol's wings of hope LOL (and me going hehe about that and footfalls)#the part of me that adores digging into the nuance of character writing (intentional or otherwise) is just latched onto zenos#and venat-- they cant just give us two characters who get really important 1v1 duels#and ask really important questions#and love the MC and are willing to risk themselves so unconditionally#and have them not live rent free in my brain#--and maybe this tiptoes into the realm of crack theory so beware there will be a lot past here--#but I cant help but think zenos is akin to an oracle or warrior of light but was tempered/corrupted by zodiark#or some strange happenstance of varis (who shares visual traits to golbez before 6.0 ever came out and the dark mana burst)#and carosa (who it seems zenos got his looks from- and he already looks like he has ties to venat and argos like minfillia does)#was he a result of the eternal chess match between the two parties' machinations? or just some strange twist of fate?#another day of him being “emet's successful experiment” (again- intentional or no) making me thonk#theres something so strange about the final days dreams and how dark aspected he is- that his void abilities are more tied to him tbh#yet his mannerisms beyond just what he's been through almost reminds me of light corruption and the uncanny calmness#we see in most beings associated with the light in any significant way and like second phase eden shiva#he almost has all the marks of someone who shouldve already had the echo or blessing of light but for one reason or another#was unable to hear hydaelyns call#of course it doesnt help i mentally associate him with connections to zero and how she was corrupted before she was even born#and durante- who states uncanny ability and connection with light and darkness and yet favors dark magic more#i simply live with the idea that zenos' soul was an eternally faithful companion to wol's and#this time the cardinal sin of separating the pair finally happened to rather dire consequences lmao
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You know what makes me soooo excited for the next phase of Fadel and Style's relationship? It's that they will finally slot into the CORRECT relationship dynamics because this whole time, it's been flipped.
From the beginning, something felt off, and I think it's because Style's true desire is to be pursued. We are shown this pretty much in Style's introduction when he blatantly puts his body on display with the Crop Top Stretch. Style wants to be approached, wants to be propositioned, wants to be desired. Also, remember how he initially flirts with Fadel when his only motivation was his own attraction? He pinned the Heart Burger badge onto his chest to create an opportunity for Fadel to put his hands on Style's body.
Of course Fadel wasn't pursuing Style; was in fact, actively trying to get away (for reasons OTHER than a lack of physical attraction to Style), so it is the plot that has to drive our lovebirds together using Kant's request and partly Style's own desire to get some revenge.
But throughout their interactions, we constantly see glimpses of Style's desire to be pursued: every single time Fadel even shows a HINT of wanting Style, he immediately falls pliant, like he can't wait to let Fadel take the reins. And nothing shows this more clearly than the absolutely blissed out look on Style's face in Ep 4 when he thinks Fadel has finally admitted that he wants Style.
(Fucking hell, just look at how dazed and almost euphoric Style looks here? It's like Style has been starving for the barest hint that Fadel truly wants him.)
Which is also why we've gotten so many fake outs. Because although Fadel IS attracted to Style (Ep 2 made that...abundantly clear), he isn’t remotely ready to pursue anyone. Not only is Fadel nursing a broken heart, barely beating, he also has very justified suspicions about Style’s connection to Kant and Style's unnatural persistence.
So it's Style that has to pursue - he dodges Fadel's footsteps, and bullies his way into Fadel's life; but in between the frustration and annoyance, Fadel's walls begin to crack. And I think it's SO COOL that the first significant evidence we have of Fadel's walls crumbling is because Style puts his body on display for Fadel. Because Fadel responded to something that was naturally part of the way Style operates before he even met Fadel. And there are other, more compelling reasons why I think Fadel begins to fall for Style, but that's not really the point I'm trying to make here.
When Fadel said "If I like you, I'll do the pursuing", it wasn't just to get Style to back off. Because now that Fadel has finally chosen to explore something real with Style, we are seeing Fadel's words in action. I know some people have said Fadel's switch to flirting so blatantly with Style in Ep 4's gym scene came out of left field, but I think it may well be confirmation that this was always the dynamic they were meant to be in. Fadel likes pursuing and Style likes being pursued. They fit, they match, they're perfectly compatible.
(Fadel looks almost faintly amused by how "flustered" Style is. Because he doesn't know that Style is actually afraid of him - why would he, when Style has evidenced zero fear so far? So this comes across like Style is getting shy in response to Fadel's unexpected and more overt approach. And possibly this is Fadel starting to remember how much he enjoys the chasing.)
Unfortunately, Kant's revelation is going to screw allll of this up. But, we are finally going to see glimpses of how they work when they're aligned correctly in their dynamics! And while it will take a journey (and oh, it will be gloriously painful, won't it?), our boys are finally on the road to something lasting and I am sooo glad we get to come along for the ride. <3
#fadelstyle#fadel#style sattawat#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thk meta#<my posts>#Also I think one of the reasons why Style's anger in ep 4 seemed much more INTENSE is that he really DID think#that Fadel missing him meant something real had shifted between them.#And he was GENUINELY hurt - potentially for the first time; more even than when Fadel punched him after they had sex.#Because he could tell - even during the act - that Fadel's heart wasn't in the encounter.#But the kitchen scene in episode 4... that was Style thinking he'd made a breakthrough.#And Fadel dangled what Style wanted the MOST and then also MOCKED him for it.#Which is why Style lashed out at the support group AGAIN.#// also I do think it was a GOOD thing that Style had to step outside of his comfort zone for this relationship to even start#because in a way it shows that Style does want something real with Fadel at the end of the day#he's literally the only person with ZERO actual real stakes in this game other than his loyalty to Kant; if he really wanted he could bail#/// ALSO even if fadel IS planning something with his sudden change in behaviour#i think its also possible that he's having fun with it because its what he'd like to do anyway#like they don't have to be mutually exclusive approaches#because yeah fadel's last look at style's retreating back was very... contemplative#<- thoughts that didn't really make sense with the point i was trying to make but came up while I was thinking it through
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I don't remember if you answered this question, but did you go to art school or are you self-taught? Have you studied from YouTube videos?
nah, I never did art school. I learned a few things from books when I was a kid and got signed up for a short summer art class one time, since I was thinking about being a professional artist and my parents were trying to help me along. I learned how to use digital art programs from tutorials when I was a teenager, but I haven't used tutorials much besides that. pretty much everything I know has been from observing other artists online and experimenting. so yeah, I guess that means I'm self-taught, haha.
I went to school for music and vocal performance, but I could tell a long story about the university I went to, how they weren't really qualified to train musicians and how I dropped out. I've already been working professionally as a performer for 7 years, working with a private teacher and as a teacher myself, and I have tons of experience that I never would've gotten at school, so it's all working out really well.
#this is a tirade but I think that college singing programs are generally pretty flawed#there are educational elements to being a singer but experience is SUPER important and colleges give you next to no experience#and you're so freaking busy in college that you have zero time or energy to even practice your craft#like the reason young artist programs exist is because they don't do that stuff in college#people spend a load of money on a college education that will make them fill their degree with useless GEs and electives#and then they have to spend even more money getting actual necessary stage experience#uh oh. I'm having opinions again#barring that college kind of sucked for me specifically lol#school and I didn't get along#asks
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peter bringing mayday with him to do spider stuff because yeah, he had things to live for before--but now he has a child and he is going to raise this child and be there for her and maybe if she’s there, strapped to his chest, he’ll be more careful. he’ll consider his life almost as precious as hers. maybe bringing mayday to work is a precaution.
#disclaimer: it's like 2am and i don't know what i just wrote because my brain won't function enough to read it over again#i also have read like zero spiderman comics so if this doesn't make sense because canon already speaks on it#i'm sorry#atsv spoilers#spiderman: across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse#peter b parker#mayday#i am having thoughts#PLEASE BLOCK APPROPRIATE TAGS IF YOU DON"T WANNA BE SPOILED PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU#miles morales#into the spiderverse#spiderman#spiderman spoilers#this thought came about because i think swinging around with a child is the stupidest/coolest thing ever#and i feel like peter wouldn't do it without a reason#anyway sorry for the random change in fandoms i saw the movie tonight and it was fantastic#also#catch me crying in the theatre because peter wants his daughter to turn out like miles#OKAY IM DONE SPAMMING THE TAGS NOW BYE#across the spiderverse spoilers#spiderman across the spiderverse
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Maybe I need to reread the stories with him in it but I genuinely don’t understand why souma can’t sing anymore like. Did he sustain lung damage or smth?? I am like 90% sure nothing like that has been mentioned at least in any detail. Cuz I get it if he can’t perform quite yet cuz he doesn’t have the stamina/strength but they’re acting like it’s a never again thing or is it just them being abelist cuz he can’t walk and that means he will never be able to go up and sing again and is incapable of getting the crowd going. Cuz genuinely I don’t know how losing your ability to walk from a car accident can make you unable to sing or make you any less of a quality performer.
#if they actually put effort into saying what kinds of disabilities saki and souma had this wouldn’t be a thing to bring up#there is zero detail and they barely even tell you what his injuries were just smth about paralyzation#idk the treatment of souma genuinely pisses me off#sure right now he can’t preform. but why can he never preform again? it’s not impossible I can genuinely not fathom a reason that with what-#-info we have he would lose the ability to preform completely#sorry for ranting but I’ve been sitting on this thought for awhile and it’s late and I’m tired#pjsk
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idk what it is but I'm feeling distinctly unholy today
#many possible reasons including but not limited to:#the dumb antibiotics I'm taking#writer's block#not enough sleep#took a nap and that's always a bad idea#stupid irl drama I wanted zero part in and have now been dragged into#feeling guilty for letting DMs pile up#writer's block again#beating myself up because I feel like no one likes my fics only to immediately switch to beating myself up for having low self esteem#and beating myself up for forgetting that fandom is not a competition and therefore I can't be losing it#even more writer's block possibly related to the previous two problems#and so on and so forth#I'll probably delete this once I no longer feel like shit because it got personal and I hate vulnerability#not a cry for help or reassurance just a vent#seriously#clown hours
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chapter 1 of reassassination's nearly done script-wise! hopefully the next chapters won't take like 6 months of on-and-off work to complete lol
#but i have GOOD REASON as to why it took so long#1. i had no clue how exactly to write the characters and they literally swapped characterisation with every scene#luckily now i've solidified krankenstein as a paranoid control freak#and octavia as a superficially cool girl with a sailor's mouth and zero social awareness#honestly its so hard to explain her chara. basically: character who seems stoic and cool and mysterious but is actually just super autistic#2. i had NO CLUE how and when to expose information#now chapter 1 only gives a superficial look at krank and octavia's characters and the most basic info about postmortem#and the “rules” of octavia (perfect pendant etc)#and 3. i was writing it like a standalone for a while#i had to put a lot of changes into the script in order to turn the chapter into the foundation for a few opening “mini-arcs”#of which will give a lot of characterisation and purpose into postmortem highschool characters#like onion and jaundice#rather than being kind of disconnected like before#anyway now that im nearly done all i need to do is FINALFINALFINALise the designs#(which will probably have a shit ton more changes to make em actually drawable over and over again)#and design environments and props (like krankenstein medical clinic and postmortem as a whole)#even so i only want to start releasing the comic when at least a quarter of the scripts are done and the story is 100% finalised#i have a lot of freedom being out of school right now so i want to write as much as possible#so i guess it will release around late 2025 or mid 2026 in the best case scenario assuming something insane doesnt happen to me
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It’s so difficult for me to grasp or believe the idea that there are good people out there who don’t want to hurt me. lol
#I don’t know if my trust in people will ever be restored but I highly doubt it will#I have zero reason to trust a single person after what’s happened to me#but I deserve love#ugh#it’s frustrating idk how to navigate this I don’t want to be alone but I also don’t want to be used abused and abandoned#again
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gertrude robinson is like joan of arc to me. agnes montageu is like saint lucy to me. i could go on but you'd die
#local quirked up atheist once again comparing fictional characters to saints and martyrs#actually the reason i can't go on is because i have absolutely zero deeper knowledge of religion. whoopsie#tma#the magnus archives#gertrude robinson#agnes montague
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aye can i get a fuckin uuuhhhh
break. on my burger
#shit chat#family cw#got sicker than i have been in years my bank closed my checking account on accident work is nightmarishly busy#and my mother is sending strings of long voice memos in the family group chat again#i simply will not be listening to them. at most i'll ask my dad or brother for the sparknotes version#bc her pattern for the better part of this year has been radio silence. no attempt at communication whatsoever#and then BAM like 5-10 min worth of voice memos screaming crying sobbing shaking#I DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET MY CHILDREN TO FORGIVE ME. I'M CRAWLING ON MY KNEES ON THE DESERT FOR A HUNDRED YEARS REPENTING#WHAT THE FUCK IS FAMILY FOR YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I'M SUFFERING SO MUCH AND I'M ALONE BECAUSE#MY FAMILY ABANDONED ME. I HAVE NO ONE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I'M BEGGING. I NEED HELP I NEED MY KIDDOS AROUND ME PLEASE I'M DYING#followed by several minutes of sordid updates on her shitty miserable life#which is tbf pretty shitty & miserable. she's extremely physically disabled & mentally ill#her partner had a severe stroke a couple months ago and is still recovering. they've both been in & out of hospital#neither working. partner's adult son who lives with them is the only income in the household#partner's permanently disabled mother also lives with them. plus 2 large dogs 6 cats and 3 each of chickens & ducks#they're in court suing their landlord bc he's trying to evict them but the property is an uninhabitable shithole to begin with#but like. whenever i do make the mistake of responding to one of her groupchat tantrums#she's just like 'oh you know me im a survivor :) i just miss yous is all :) now that you're here i'm gonna bitch about my life for an hour#and ignore everything you have to say and show active disdain & boredom whenever you tell me anything about yourself or your life :)'#and if i offer help she refuses it#like it's just a bid for attention. expecting unconditional love and absolution and salvation from us bc That's What Families Do#she doesn't actually seem to give a shit about any of us as real people. just this ironclad delusion of unconditional family support#that she frankly has not earned#my brother actually did go visit her in the hospital on thanksgiving. driving 2hrs out of his way to do so#and she was a raging passive aggressive bitch to him and threw the gift he'd brought her back in his face#ma'am i know you're Going Through It but so are the rest of us & frankly you've given me zero reason to want to interact w/ ur caustic ass#plus this is petty but yet another way in which she doesn't listen to me & makes no attempt whatsoever at genuine relationship#i've told her numerous times that responding to groupchat voice memos is hard for me. that i love & miss her#and if she wants to see me or needs help or whatever to please contact me one on one either by call or text#nope. refuses to respond to/initiate individual contact. ONLY traumadumping in the fam chat. TLDR MY MOM IS A DISFUNCTIONAL TOXIC NIGHTMARE.
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Zenos viator Galvus and him trying to deal with actually feeling things for once (Even if he doesn't really understand how to handle the comfort he receives from others for it)
I am also giving this man a dad that actually cares, because this brainworm have gotten me and there is no saving me from them.
#ffxiv#sketch#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#durante#zero#local man learns how to feel again... and is regretting it immensely-#as his old habits of “ignore” or “shut down” dont work that well anymore#because#at least from what I've personally looked into#unironically zenos' method of reaper contract was the smartest way to go about- he wouldnt have had the context that they used to be people#but I also write Zenos with the thought that he would abhor becoming anything like Varis-#and I dont think he'd like being directly responsible for turning another person into a weapon or a tool like how he was- intentional or no#and I think its just a neat point of tension between adventurer zenos and zero#and it just ends feeding into what I write one of his main hurdles being#his resignation that he may never change- or that he isnt worth compassion because of the circumstances he grew up in#and him being so ready to take blame and resign the possibility of apologizing because (given context) i dont doubt#that Varis had constantly blamed him for Carosa's death#and it also just gives me a bit of reasoning why him being called a monster (specifically thinking of the scene with Krile) sets him off#I also just like the idea of Durante taking him in as a hesitant mentor and accidently bonding with him- even beyond the theories I have#(and this is totally me being biased because I ADORE durante as a character)#but I think helping Zenos and the way Zenos and Wol would later interact with each other would give him a measure of peace#of being able to guide someone and be there for someone like it seemed golbez was for him#I also think zenos deserves at least one warm fatherly hug#and who better than the strange old ass voidsent who could honestly probably rotate him any moment his guard is down
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people (the rest of the hanza. not including geralt) often forget that cahir was 1. the guy that kidnapped ciri 2. an officer in the military
he’s literally so polite in geralt’s company you wouldn’t even guess he was the black knight. and yet. and yet.
i’m never certain exactly how to reconcile this tactful and strategic mind with the terrified young man
#geralt never forgot but everyone else (maybe also except dandelion) was like ?? but ?? friend ?? friendship????#i imagine him barking an order to dandelion once and dandelion straightened up and obeyed#opposite of when cahir was looking over dandelions shoulder lol#maybe joke but#in my idea where angouleme goes missing . geralt is like. what do you think we should do#cahir’s like why me. geralt’s like. well. she’s ciri-shaped#milva enacting clemency for cahir after geralt chases regis away is fantastic#regis saved you from the noose and you’ve chased him away. thats your business. but but cahir saved me. so we’re comrades >:(#geralt seething he’s going to kill him and then like nooo i can’t kill him idk why …#when cahir joined the rivian forces 😭😭 because he in no way resembled a civilian#each of the company members have insane backstories they really are the PCs of the d&d campaign#and angouleme is the one npc they pick up and adopt into the company and defend to the end#so we’re looking for this guy’s daughter he’s bound to her by destiny#this guy kidnapped said daughter but he said sorry for it later#milva worked with dryads to kill people and regis is a vampire that drank people#and this guy is famous like beyoncé#angouleme: [sniffs] ‘kay#the elbow-high diaries#i need her to keep regis humble bc regis is like dont worry i dont bite people 🥹 and shes like yeah ok dont care either way#geralt is like oh hell do not explain to her all of this again. we spent too much time on this already last book#you know you are the reason we have three stars on goodreads#regis like i know… 🙂 if i wasn’t here you’d snag us zero…
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I am so close to making a Hazbin AU where Angel is Niffty's dad because making this post and THIS vvvv
Fucking image made the idea go from "huh, funny coincidence" to full on brainrot.
#Angel is Niffty's dad now#im sorry for already going off the deep end#but its happened#I know it has zero canonical backing besides the speculated birth/death dates of these two#but it would be cute#and kinda sad#but cute!#Angel Husk Niffty and fat nuggets forming a little family unit#eventually getting redeemed and getting to meet aunt Molly#for angst you could have Alastor using this to manipulate Angel similarly to how he fucked with Lucifer#except Alastor actually has been more present for Niffty than Angel#and the fucked up extra edge of him owning Niffty's soul#not to mention that Angel 100% has no fucking clue he ever had a kid#like he's gay#and died in the 1940's#sure he's slept with women a few times for various reasons#but that was rare since again he's got no interest in women#so the chance of him having an illegitimate child was never even a thought#besides sex education in the '30's and '40's wasn’t exactly stellar#finding out he's a dad would be a complete shock and probably cause him a whole breakdown#meanwhile Niffty would either not care or just be excited to finally meet her dad#hazbin angel dust#angel dust hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin niffty#niffty hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel niffty
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