#watch me draw something for every single chapter of this amazing fanfiction!

[magical-mistral]

Ice Cream Date or “Phichit eats his ice cream like a baby T-rex” Illustration for the 2nd chapter of “When Sarcasm and Optimism collide” by the amazing @n3rdlif343va! --- Find me on Twitter // Instagram // buy me a coffee

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 38

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k - 4.9k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: nothing happened yet things happened? idk how i feel about this, i just hope you enjoy it, thank you guys for sticking up to this story ilysm!! oh and i chose this gif just because hes sweating lmao youre welcome! i hope this chapter gets more notes than the last haha

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : i added as many as possible lol i even got one WHILE i was writing and added it lmao!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 38 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

April 17th, 2018

"You know what people say when they see a fat girl run." I just let out, raising my nose in a grimace as I tied up my shoes.

"I'm not really the type to listen to stupid people's opinion." Niall replied, making me roll my eyes and sigh before getting up. "And you shouldn't either."

He had convinced me to go run with him and I regretted my 'yes' half a second after agreeing but the way his face illuminated told me that it was too late to go back. I hated running and he knew it, and I was pretty sure he was aware of the sacrifice it was for me. I normally always quote the movie "The Faculty" when he mentions running, because i believe there's no truer words than Casey's line at the beginning of the movie when he says 'I don't think that a person should run unless he's being chased.", even if it's sort of ironic since the characters end up running away from an alien who wants to infect them the whole movie. Well, I would probably run if an alien was trying to infect me, too. And apparently, I would also run if it made Niall happy.

"It's easy for you. You've always been popular and cute and all the girls were in love with you."

"That is a big load of bullshit." he chuckled, shaking his head. "I've been told 'no' many, many times."

"I would like to see the statistics of the number of girls telling you 'no' versus the number of girls telling you 'yes."

This time, he's the one who rolled his eyes but he still had a cute smile gracing his lips and it made mine curl, too.

My parents were spending the whole day at friends' house. It was planned before I told them I'd come and visit them and even if they told me they'd cancel, I insisted that they'd just go. I didn't want to ruin their plans, I knew it was some anniversary or something similar and I could spend one day alone with Niall. Easily. Hell, I wanted to spend way more than one day with him.

"The only statistic I care about is this one." he started, clearing his throat. "How much do you love me, on a scale of 1-10."

I let out a genuine laughter and it made his lips curl. "That scale reaches the sky and it's too far away for me to see any number but there's like, 10 digits."

He took a step closer and I moved my chin up as he bent down to press his lips against mine. It felt so good to be back into this, to have a routine together, and to be happy without stress. I wouldn't go as far as saying it was exactly how it used to be but If I took the time to really think about it, it was even better. Back then, he was a bit immature and I was extremely insecure. Those two flaws sort of clashed together and made our relationship so much harder to handle. Now, I was not as insecure, and he didn't seem immature anymore, and I really felt like it could work between us.

We walked out but started running as soon as we were down the stairs. I let out a short groan of annoyance and it made him laugh. I knew he was going slowly just for me and it made me feel a bit guilty. At the same time, I was doing this for him and because he insisted, so the least he could do was wait for me, right? I don't know how long we ran but I hated it. I hated the burning sensation and the dry feeling in my throat, i hated the sweat on my back, and i hated the pain in my legs. God, I hate running. But then I turned to look at him and something twisted in my stomach and I bit my bottom lip. I loved watching him sweat. There was something sexy in watching him like that but it was not really the time and place to jump on him, unfortunately.

"How's your asthma?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Tolerable." I said, glancing at him again. "How's your grandpa knee?"

He chuckled and shook his head, making me smile more. "Could be worse."

After a while, I just stopped, feeling a cramp hurting like hell on my side, and held myself on my knees. He stopped next to me and bent down to look at me. He looked amazing, how did he fucking look so good all the damn time?

"You okay? Enough for today?"

I nodded and he smiled but I held my breath when I felt his hand on my back. I was in it so deep but I secretly hoped that I would never have to hurt again. I had new limits that I wanted to respect but I wouldn't ask him about every single girl gravitating around him, or cry myself to sleep because of a comment online. However, I would still get pissed if he let an other woman who clearly wants in his pants put her number in his phone, and I wouldn't accept him flirting with random girls at bars. The first time we dated, everything seemed to get to me but this time, It would be different. I would choose my battles and not get insecure about every little thing I see. I believed in myself more and I was convinced it helped me believe in him more, too.

We walked back home quickly and from time to time, I could feel his fingers brush against mine. It's in times like these that I really just wished we could be a normal couple. I knew he would be unhappy if he didn't do music for a living, and it would be a shame if his talent and songs weren't heard by millions of people, but selfishly, sometimes, I wished we could just walk around hand in hand without being scared of the comments, the articles and the hate.

I unlocked the door and when I took my shoes off, I grimaced and groaned low, moving my toes and quickly pulling on my socks., leaving them by the door.

"Petal, you reek." he let out before I turned around, raising my eyebrows. He chuckled and shrugged. "It's true, you smell so bad right now."

"I know!" I finally admitted in a laugh.

"But hey, you don't smell as bad as I do." he added, making me laugh more.

"That's practically impossible." I joked as he stuck his tongue out at me.

I watched him bend down and rub his knees and I bit my bottom lip as I felt a wave of intense love for him wash through me. I took a step closer and he moved his body up before looking in my eyes. I tilted my head, nibbling on my lip again and reached for the bottom of his shirt, finally pulling it up. He moved his arms up to help me as we kept staring at each other. A small smile draw itself on my lips and I just licked them, letting his shirt fall in the floor. Slowly, I let my hands run on his chest, my fingertips brushing against his nipples and moving down to his stomach. I felt my heart hit so hard against my rib cage that I thought it was going to escape. I could feel the sweat on my fingers and for some odd reason, it turned me on even more. My hands stopped at the top of his shorts and he raised his eyebrows.

"Are you gonna take them off, too?" he asked in a low tone.

"You know what I really want?" I asked in a low tone, ignoring his question as my forefingers hooked in the sides of his shorts, pulling them down slowly. He raised his eyebrows to incite me to talk and I smiled more. "Your dick in my mouth."

He didn't answer anything but his lips parted slightly and I slowly got down on my knees, bringing his shorts and boxers with me. I took his cock in my hand and when I got closer, he quickly stopped me.

"Wait!" he let out. I frowned and looked up but he just sighed. "We really need to get in the shower, first."

I stared at him for a few seconds and finally let out an amused chuckle before finally getting back up. He smirked and moved his upper body closer, his lips dangerously close to mine, before reaching for the bottom of my shirt.

"I honestly don't want you to be disgusted by my dick forever." he let out, making me chuckle again.

"Can't happen. But you're right, we should get clean first. Then fuck. And then get clean again." I proposed, making him raise his eyebrows up and down.

"And then maybe fuck again, yea?"

I smiled more at his words and nodded. "Yes."

He moved closer and kissed me, taking a few steps my way and forcing me to move back. He took my shirt off, throwing it on the floor, and I started laughing against his mouth when I accidentally stepped on something and ended hitting my back on the wall.

"Fuck, I love your clumsy ass." he whispered, slithering one of his arms around my waist as the other reached for my breasts. "And your tits, too." His hand moved down and slipped in my panties, making my eyes roll back as I leaned my head against the wall. "And your perfect little fanny, too."

He crashed his mouth against mine too as he flicked his fingertip on my clit a few times, making me whimper before he just took his hand away to pull on one side of my pants. I helped him with the other and stepped out of them. We were both just making out naked against the wall at my parents' house and I couldn't remember the last time I felt this horny. Was that adrenaline or something?

"Mm, your parents aren't coming back soon, right pet?" he asked in-between kisses as he pressed his body against mine. "Because they probably wouldn't enjoy the trail of our clothes on the floor that leads to the bathroom."

I laughed and shook my head as he pulled away. My eyes roamed on his face and It just hit me again how much I loved him.

"No, they'll be gone until very late tonight."

"Good."

He kissed me again and after a while, he pulled me to the bathroom and I tried to keep my mouth against his in a failed attempt as he bent down to start the shower. We laughed against each other's lips and ended up under the stream. I shivered as he grabbed the soap and poured some in my hands before doing the same in his. I washed myself quickly, staring at his hands moving on his body and when he reached his half-hard cock, I felt my heart jump in my chest.

"Sit on the side of the bath." he told me, making me obey immediately.

I was grateful that he didn't ask me to get on my knees because there's honestly nothing more uncomfortable for the knees than a bath. He moved closer and I smiled more when I realized his cock was at the perfect height. I felt like I hadn't had his cock in my mouth for so long and I took it as deeply as I could, making him groan low. I felt him swell on my tongue and spread my knees apart, bringing one of my hands between my legs.

"Mm, don't stop darling, do that thing you always do."

I chuckled low and pushed on the skin of his cock just to run the tip of my tongue between it and his tip, making one of his legs shake slightly. I used my fingers too, touching exactly the same spot and his head moved again to look down at me.

"That feels like I'm just cumming over and over again, fuck!"

I kept going for a while and finally ran my tongue on his length until his balls. He grabbed his cock in one of his hands and started stroking himself. I stuck my tongue out and felt his balls rub and bounce on my tongue with every jerk of his hand. I moved closer and sucked on one of until he grabbed my hair and pulled my head away gently.

"Open your mouth."

I did as asked and gently, he pushed his had cock in my mouth until I choked and pulled slightly away. I could feel him throb on my tongue and I let two of my fingers rub my clit gently as I sucking him harder.

"Stick your tongue out."

I looked up at him a bit innocently and opened my mouth, sticking my tongue out for him. He kept jerking himself hard, brushing his tip on my tongue as he did, and after about a minute, he let out a low groan.

"Fuck, I missed cumming on that tongue."

My eyes closed for a few seconds when his cum spurted on my cheeks, lips and tongue but I moved closer to suck on his tip again, my hands reaching for his balls as he kept stroking himself until he got down from his high. I never really enjoyed the taste but Niall’s orgasms were different, and I knew it probably only had to do with the love I felt for him, but it didn’t matter. He tasted good and I loved pleasing him. He panted for half a minute and finally grabbed my arms to pull me up gently.

"Even if you look really good like that..." he started, bringing me under the stream. "Let me help you."

Slowly, he ran his fingers on my cheeks before moving down to my lips, taking the vestige of his orgasm off. My heart jumped in my chest when he kissed me deeply and I moaned in his mouth as his hands ran on my breasts.

"You need an orgasm too." he pointed out as I nodded. "Sit back down."

I did what he told me to and frowned a bit when he got on one knee, knowing how much it hurts. We could both feel the water falling on us but when he moved his lips to my neck, I let my head fall back and closed my eyes. Two of his fingers slipped inside me as he nibbled on the skin of my neck and he started fucking me slowly. His mouth moved down to my breast and the way he sucked and licked my nipples made my fingers rub against the bath in a weird and annoying sound.

"You're gonna let me fuck you hard later today, won't you princess?"

I shivered, realizing I hadn't heard that nickname in a while, and finally nodded. "Mmhm, whenever you want, wherever you want, for as long as you want. You know I'm all yours."

"Fuck, say it again."

He started finger fucking me harder and I felt my breasts press against his chest as he bit my neck harder.

"I'm yours, Niall, I'm all yours." I let out in a mix of a whimper and a whisper.

"Get up."

I felt a bit too weak to do it but I still managed and when I felt his mouth crush on my pussy, I leaned my head against the cold and hard shower wall. I brought on of my legs up on the side of the bath and focused on the way his tongue skillfully sucked and licked my pussy until I felt an orgasm hit me without warning.

"Oh fuck! Niall!"

I reached for his hair and pulled on it hard, making sure his face stayed between my legs and It took me all my strength not to literally let myself fall at the bottom of the bath. When he got back up, he wrapped his arms around me and I allowed myself to get weak close to him, making him laugh.

"Good?" he asked. I nodded, brushing my nose against his wet neck and whimpered low. "Hungry?"

                                                   ----

The park was not too crowded and the sun was slowly setting. We started eating the lunch we had prepared together and I surprised myself wishing every day would be like that. It was ridiculous and impossible, but a girl could dream, right?

"What do you think would have happened if we never broke up?" I asked, staring at my water bottle before looking up in his eyes.

He was staring at me, his eyebrows raised and his lips curled into a pensive expression. He looked adorable and I smiled fondly at him. He shook his head slightly and grabbed his fork, playing with his food for a few more seconds.

"I don't know. I like to think I would have matured anyway and wouldn't be a prick but you never know." he explained with a shrug.

"You think you would have cheated on me?"

His head snapped up to look at me and he shook his head harder this time. "No. I was a flirt, but I was not a cheater, I promise."

Obviously, we would never know, and from what I had seen of Niall, he normally broke up with the girl before giving in to anyone else... well, except with me. It made me realize he had cheated on two girls with me and I tried to push away the guilt invading me. After all, I had cheated on Dylan too. The fact that he knew and had decided to ignore it didn't make my action less painful, or okay. We both had cheated and there was no excuse for it.

"You cheated with me. I did too. We both cheated. On Heidi and Dylan, and that was so wrong."

"I know." he sighed. "We can't go back. I mean I wish I could say I regret it, but I don't. It lead us here."

I sent him a sad smile and nodded. I wanted so much for us and even if I still had a few doubts, I wanted us to work. I wanted us to make efforts into this, but I couldn't make them for him. All I knew was that I was going to do everything I could to make this work, and from the way he had been acting with me lately, I was pretty sure he would do the same.

"So what's gonna happen to us now, Niall?" I asked softly. "What's our future together?"

He looked down immediately and it made me frown. Did he have something to hide? I couldn't start thinking like that again, I couldn't start analyzing his every move. I breathed it and let it go, simply tilting my head.

"We'll love each other, become official whenever you're ready, maybe even start attending galas and shit together, perhaps." he proposed, shrugging a shoulder and making me laugh.

"Yea, that's not really your type of things." I pointed out.

"Well it's different with you. Everything is different with you. In a good way. In the best way."

Without thinking, I held myself on the grass between us and leaned my upper body his way to reach his lips with mine. He kissed me back and after a while, he deepened the kiss. I didn't feel nervous, or stressed, and I didn't give a fuck about who could see us.

"I love you. I want to spend my life with you." I whispered. "I know these words used to scare you... how do they make you feel, now?"

I pulled away enough to be able to look in his eyes and his lips curl into a genuine smile.

"Like the happiest man in the world."

My lips curled into a happy smile as something stirred in my stomach. "You're so full of shit, Horan."

He brought one of his hands to my cheek and I leaned against it without thinking.

"I mean it Liv. Trust me." he murmured as I felt his breath hit my chin.

I breathed in deeply and pressed my lips together before whispering too. "I do. I trust you."

                                                        ---

We ended up watching tv together in the living room after the sun was set and I knew my parents could be back any minute, making me wonder if we had time to fuck or if we should just wait until they would be in bed.

"I wish you'd come with me in Germany." he let out randomly, taking me out of my thoughts.

"You... you know I have to go back in California soon." I explained, feeling my heart sink in my chest. "I mean, we can survive a few weeks away, yea?"

He turned his head my way and sighed. "Of course we can. But we shouldn't have to. And.. I don't really want to."

"I know." I said in a low tone, trying not to cry and looking down at my hands playing with the fabric of my shirt. "I mean, I don't know what else we can do. I'll try to get more weeks off but I don't know when that will be. When's your next week off?"

"Uhm, mid may, I think, but then I have to go back to the UK for that radio show thing."

"Oh." I brushed my palms on my face, suddenly tired and a bit scared, not knowing when I could be with him again. "Tell me the exact date and I'll try to fly there for a few days."

"That's in like... a month, Olivia." he let out a bit annoyed or disappointed... or both.

"I know." I whispered, swallowing hard, trying not to cry.

He sighed again and made a quick head movement. "Come here."

He didn't have to ask me twice : I threw myself against him as he wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face in his shirt, letting out a sob that I desperately tried to suppress without success.

"Hey, it'll be okay." he whispered, kissing the top of my head. "We can do this. We're stronger than ever together. Distance is alright. A month is nothing. Remember my trip to Asia?"

It's not that it was a bad example but it was a rough memory and I sniffed, shutting my eyes tighter as I tried to move closer to him. I didn't want to be a month away from him but I knew it was probably going to happen and I didn't know how to handle it. I was about to answer something when both our phones beeped and I groaned. It couldn't be a good thing and we both knew it.

"I don't want to look." I admitted low as he rubbed my back gently.

"We have to. Let's do it and then go to bed."

I sighed again and nodded as we both grabbed our phones. The problem was apparently Heidi, who had posted a bunch of song lyrics on her instagram stories, and people started speculating about who it was about. After checking, though, I knew it was about Niall. And about me a bit, too.

SHAKIRA - DONT BOTHER She's been to private school And she speaks perfect French She's got the perfect friends Oh isn't she cool? Hey, hey So don't bother I won't die of deception I promise you won't ever see me cry Don't feel sorry And don't bother I'll be fine But she's waiting The ring you gave to her will lose its shine So don't bother, be unkind

THE WEEKEND - CALL OUT MY NAME We found each other I helped you out of a broken place You gave me comfort But falling for you was my mistake I put you on top, I put you on top I claimed you so proud and openly And when times were rough, when times were rough I made sure I held you close to me

JUSTINE TIMBERLAKE - CRY ME A RIVER You don't have to say, what you did I already know, I found out from him Now there's just no chance With you and me There'll never be Don't it make you sad about it?

SAM SMITH - IM NOT THE ONLY ONE I have loved you for many years Maybe I am just not enough You've made me realize my deepest fear By lying and tearing us up You say I'm crazy 'Cause you don't think I know what you've done But when you call me baby I know I'm not the only one

DRAKE - MARVINS ROOM I'm just sayin' you could do better Tell me, have you heard that lately? I'm just sayin' you could do better And I'll start hatin' only if you make me

KATY PERRY - PART OF ME I just wanna throw my phone away Find out who is really there for me You ripped me off your love was cheap Was always tearing at the seams I fell deep, you let me down But that was then and this is now, now look at me

LITTLE MIX - SHOUT OUT TO MY EX This is a shout out to my ex Heard he in love with some other chick Yeah yeah, that hurt me, I'll admit Forget that boy, I'm over it I hope she gettin' better sex Hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe Took four long years to call it quits Forget that boy, I'm over it

TAYLOR SWIFT - SHOULVE SAID NO You should've said no, you should've gone home You should've thought twice before you let it all go You should've know that word, bout what you did with her Would get back to me And I should've been there, in the back of your mind I shouldn't be asking myself why You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet You should've said no, baby and you might still have me I can't resist, before you go, tell me this Was it worth it Was she worth this

SUGARLAND - BABE What a waste Taking down the pictures and the plans we made, yeah And it's strange how your face doesn't look so innocent Your secret has its consequence and that's on you, babe Since you admitted it, I keep picturing Her lips on your neck, I can't unsee it I hate that because of you, I can't love you Babe What a shame, didn't want to be the one that got away How could you do this, babe?

BRITNEY SPEARS - PERFUME Do I imagine it, or do I see your stare Is there still longing there? Oh I hate myself, and I feel crazy Such a classic tale Current girl friend, ex girlfriend, I'm trying to be cool Am I being paranoid, am I seeing things? Am I just insecure?

I read her stories twice, three times, and I swallowed hard until I heard Niall curse under his breath next to me. It caught my attention and I sighed, licking my lips.

"She's right, you know. I don't know how she found out but, we talked about it earlier. We did cheat on them, Niall."

"Alright, but did she need to expose that on instagram?" He closed his eyes and groaned, throwing his phone on the couch and rubbing his eyes roughly. "Are you ready for the storm? You know our social medias are gonna fucking explode."

"It doesn't matter. As usual, we're just gonna stay quiet." I replied, shrugging and sighing an other time. "You should have never dated that girl."

"I know. I didn't know back then but now, I know." he confessed, shaking his head. "I didn't think she was that kind of girl."

I started laughing next to him and his eyes met mine. He raised his eyebrows an I pressed my lips together because chuckling more.

"I mean, seriously, Niall? She was always like that."

He remained quiet and moved his arm on the back of the couch before I leaned my head against it.

"I should have dated you when I was 13 and I tried to match you with Rian for no reason. I should have dated you when I was 16 and horny. I should have dated you when I joined One Direction and you messaged me all the time. I should have dated you after the Take Me Home tour, when I came back home and noticed how much you had changed. I should have dated you during our last tour, before you got attached to Harry. I should have dated you last year, when we were both miserable. I realize it's you I should have dated all those times. Whenever I dated an other girl, it should have been you."

I teared up but tried to swallow the emotions inside me but they were drowning me instead, making me dizzy and happy at the same time.

"Yea, you should have." I whispered, scared that my voice would crack. "What about now, Niall?"

"Now?" he asked gently, raising his eyebrows but his gaze never leaving mine. I felt his fingertips play with a lock of my hair and it made my heart twist in my chest. "Well now I'm here. I'm with you. And I don't intend or want to be with anyone else. Ever again."

[drshojo]

The World, My Childhood And My Hero Academia: Vigilantes

Hello friends!  

Its Dr. Shojo coming at you with a post that will be divided into three parts!

Part One: The world as we know it! 

The world has changed a lot since we last connected. For starters, TOILET BOUND HANAKO KUN HAS NOT ONLY A PHYSICAL RELEASE BUT A GORGEOUS ANIME! And not only that, but MY NEXT LIFE AS A VILLAINESS: ALL ROUTES LEAD TO DOOM! IS GETTING AN ANIME AS WELL! The last time I wrote about Katerina there wasn’t even an official English translation of that long-ass light-novel-title. And now?

A WHOLE ANIME. A BISEXUAL HAREM AWAITS! I am JAZZED!

Do you think it’s my fault? No matter, I’ll take all the credit. All the manga I talk about are getting anime adaptations. I’LL DO MY DUTY AND TALK ABOUT SOME MORE!

But first. Let us address the Covid-19 shaped elephant in the room

I deeply regret that it took a whole-ass pandemic to get me back to writing. In my defense, I bought an iPad and started drawing like 900 kokichi oumas. I was really busy with that. And then I started reading fanfiction. Then that got me thinking about how fanfiction such an interesting look into how people interpret fandom, use it for wish fulfillment and escapism, and good god is everyone OK cause that bulimia fan fic was super detailed....and I am officially on a tangent. Off track. Ahem.

We are all staying inside a whole lot more which means y’all probably need some reading material and Dr. Shojo has your back! Go read “Horimiya”! It’s amazing! Ahhhh, my work here is done! I'm serious, if you’re here for a Shojo rec, that’s it! There's also like 8 million more Otome Isekais to check out now. It’s like they’re multiplying like rabbits..............

As a Doctor, I must advise you to stay inside and read some manga and practice social distancing. Embrace your inner hikikomori. 

Allright? All good? Okay now one final disclaimer:

This post is going to be talking about something a little different than usual and I want to start by giving you some context about who Dr. Shojo is in real life. 

Part Two: Dr. Shojo Exposed 

You see, when I was little I was obsessed with Japanese media. This doesn't surprise you at all I can tell. Probably because I walk around calling myself Dr. Shojo and shout about manga that you should read.

Anyways, the reason why I was obsessed wasn’t because of the big eyes or the spikey hair or the interesting new culture. It was because it tended to have more character development and overarching plotlines than the media I was used to in Canada. Dexter’s Lab, Magic School Bus, pretty much everything I saw on TV was episodic in nature, so imagine how much my mind was blown when I saw Naruto and Card Captor Sakura, heck, even Pokémon had the Indigo Plateau! Here were kids that were learning more and more each day and got to see enemies become friends and vice versa. They lived and grew older just like me. Except they were cooler than me. And had more interesting lives than me. I gotta tell you, I was so sad when I was 12 and Kero didn’t tell me I had latent magical powers. But there was magic in my life and it was the magic of a complex narrative story. And not only that, it had a sense of movement and had cool costumes. I was hooked immediately.

Also, fun fact, at that age I happened to be a complete and utter tomboy! I loved pretending to fight my friends in the playground and was really worried that puberty would ruin my life because being a girl sounded so CUMBERSOME.

Which leads me up to my confession. Before I became Dr. Shojo, I was in fact......Dr. Shonen.

Bleach? Naruto? One Piece? I've read every single chapter there is.  

Hundreds of hours of watching fight sequences. Another fun fact, I only got into shojo because my aunt bought me volume 7 and 8 of Fruits Basket thinking “all mangas like the same right? Kids love comics?” It’s a tribute to how episodic western media was back then that she thought buying volume SEVEN and EIGHT was a REASONABLE PLACE TO START READING.

Now you might also say, Hey! Dr Shojo! Cardcaptors was a shojo! And you are right! but back then the anime was marketed to boys over here in the west and they actualy like, edited out episodes that they thought wouldn't interest boys?! Second fun fact, Once when I was in Grade 3 I was told I was not allowed to join a club under the stairs cause I was a girl and it was BOYS ONLY. The point of the club? To talk about how great Cardcaptors was! I Kid you not!

So anyways, your pall Dr. Shojo loves Shonen manga to this day!

The only reason I made this Dr. Shojo blog specifically about shojo is because, being a tomboy with no female friends, reading shojo manga was the first time I really thought about what it meant to be a girl and fall in love. And y i k e s. Shojo manga, like most media, fails miserably most of the time in displaying real world relationships. Or at least, it  doesn't prepare you for how disappointing everything can be. When I had my first kiss, I was thinking about how it didn’t feel at all like how I felt reading Zen and Shirayukis kiss in Akagame No Shirayuki Hime. Those were formative years, and shojo was one of the only places I saw romance being talked about for younger audiences. I liked reading romances where no one had any sexual experiences and were figuring out what love meant to them. But let’s shelve this topic for now.

The point is that gender roles are dumb and if you have an open mind there's a world of stories out there for you. Take this time inside to read something you wouldn’t normally. Critically think about the ways that the worlds you see in stories and how you experience the world differ. What are the messages a story is trying to tell you? And why do you like the stories you do? Reflect on how the stories you tell yourself color your view of the world. Even mindless entertainment leaves an impression on us. Anyways.

Whilst you're doing that, I'm going to absolutely lose my hecking mind over the Shonen Jump series MY HERO ACADEMIA: Vigilantes!

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Part Three: I downloaded the one month free trial of the Shonen Jump app and made you read all that, so I can tell you that today Dr. Shojo is going to rant about a spin-off of a shonen manga

THAT’S RIGHT, OF COURSE I READ HERO ACA AND YES I DID PICK UP THE SPIN OFF SERIES. SHONEN JUMP LETS YOU READ ALL THE NEW CHAPTERS FOR FREE ON THEIR APP. KIDS, IF YOU LIKE SHONEN AND YOU’RE PIRATING ON A SCANLATION SITE STILL GET OUT BECAUSE YOU DON’T NEED TO SEE THOSE WEIRD PLASTIC SURGERY AND DENTISTRY ADDS ANY MORE.

SHONEN IS HERE AND ITS LEGAL AND ITS FREE FOR YOU. GET OFF MANGA FOX OR MANGA ROCK OR WHATEVER THE KIDS ARE USING THESE DAYS.

OK, so by this point in the article you have learned two very important things about me: 1) I love Shonen manga and 2) I read a lot of fanfiction.

Specifically, I read an absolutely biblical amount of My Hero Academia fan fiction and let me tell you, A solid chunk of it is vigilante/ Deadpool / criminal with a heart of gold themed.

So when I saw Hero Aca had a spin off, and it was about vigilantes, I was NOT SURPRISED IN THE SLIGHTEST. Ao3 sure is powerful.

Now, if you will permit me a tangent in a post full of tangents—HOLY CRAP, THERE ARE TOO MANY VIGILANTE AUS. I CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF EM. IT’S THE ISEKAI PROBLEM ALL OVER AGAIN. I GET AN EMAIL A FIC HAS UPDATED AND I’M LIKE IS THIS THE FIC WHERE DEKU HAS AN ABUSIVE MOM OR THE ONE WHERE HE HAS SPLIT PERSONALITY DISORDER OR THE ONE WHERE HE’S VIGILANTES WITH HITOSHI. OH WAIT, nvm, it’s the one where deku has a healing quirk.

OH WAIT WHICH OF THE 6 DEKU WITH HEALING QUIRK VIGILATE AU FICS IS THIS ONE?! ARGH WHY DIDN’T I WRITE A DESCRIPTION IN THE BOOKMARK FOR THIS!

My gripes aside, there's a reason why there's such an abundance of vigilante story telling—

Deadpool made like an absolute buttload of money and people love sass and memes.

People have a desire for a story in which they see themselves. Or, how they think of themselves.They like a story about someone who maybe came from nothing. Someone who has less money, maybe someone who is unlucky and had some bad breaks. Someone who never learned they had magic, never got their Hogwarts letter, never saw Kero, someone who never got that God-level quirk from All Might. And if your on Ao3 They want someone who also has seen a lot of memes and kind of wants taco bell and is also questioning their sexuality a bit?

Enter our new hero VIGILANTE DEKU.  

But the cannon can't do this, cause hey, Deku is the chosen one. Albeit, chosen by All Might, He’s got his own thing to do. But how can we still cash in on a vigilante story?

And thus enter our New-New hero KOICHI HAIMAWARI—code name Nice Guy and then later The Crawler. True to his relatable roots. He’s just a dude in an hoodie who can go about as fast as a bike.

First off, I love Koichi. He wants to be a hero and fight crime, but most of the time he has to run away because at the end of the day he's just a dude.

He’s cute but not wildly good-looking, A bit of a nerd but not like an extreme okaku. He’s got a part time job and hates violence.

And this is where Koichi really shines—in every day stuff. He helps out wherever he can. Often, that just means listening to people complain and maybe helping his friends out with whatever they’re going through. He’s the kind of guy who smiles, not because he's especially brave, but because he just takes things one at a time and doesn't sweat the past. I think it’s really telling that he missed getting into hero high-school because he skipped the entrance exam to help someone. He’s the kind of person who lets us experience the superpower of human decency and empathy. And you know what? That’s something the world need desperately.  

This theme of human decency is really the driving force of Vigilantes—it’s a manga about how the laws are there for a reason but sometimes they unfairly impact the poor and vulnerable. It's about how a lot of criminals are just people who fell into bad social circles or on bad times. People have the capacity for cruelty and violence but that’s never all they are.  

Now, speaking of crime, the entirety of Hero Aca falls into some murky water when it comes to its evil doers. Much of the fandom has a huuuuuge problem with how much the franchise is willing to sweep under the rug in the name of redeeming their baddies. RE: people getting mad about forgiving Endeavor’s child abuse, or Bakugo’s suicide baiting. Or Mineta’s blatant sexual harassment.

But this theme is in Vigilantes even more than it ever was in the main series. To start off with, there’s this guy who tries to rape Pop Step early on, and the later he later winds up befriending everybody. It becomes a running gag that each new villain winds up befriending the other villain guys and then they all open a cat café together.

Using jobs as a way to lift people out of lives of crime is great and all but in the story there is no nuance or consequences for past wrong and well.....it feels very weird.  It's like Vigilantes plays at having an opinion about moral ambiguity and the complexity of human existence and then just.......lets everyone get along because who has time to get into all that. Make of that what you will but it sits weird for me personally.

Anyway, let's move on and talk about POP STEP our main girl!

I love pop stars and I love vigilantes and a guerrilla performer is defiantly a character I could get behind. And I think they do a good job with Pop. She is actually kind of shy, but has this secret edgy persona she puts on when she performs. She is every girl on tumbler in the early 2000s. I also looooove that they make her not that great a singer. SHE’S GOT PASSION AND CHARISMA and maybe not born talent but like why should that stop you! Talent can be earned through practice and this is a great lesson to show people.

Unfortunately, Pop is also a great example of everything wrong with romance in Shonen.

It’s established early on that Pop loves Koichi because she is the girl he rescued all those years ago and yada yada yikes we’ve heard this one before. Many times before.

Sure, it's fine that they’ve met before, but gosh am I sick of damsels in distress. It's like she can't love him just because she respects what a great guy he is in her life and in the community at large, no no, she just needs to be rescued on top of that. And LOLOLOL isn't it funny he never noticed she was a girl because she was a child with short hair?! Once he realizes she has boobs now they will for sure fall in love! That’s how love works!

She's just with him all the time—nothing romantic ever happens she just gets a little tsundere.

I am never ever going to believe Koichi likes Pop because he spends like sooooo much time with her and they never have like, a moment. The first time he considers her is when Makoto is like, ‘hey I would love to get together with you, but have you thought about if you are crushing on Pop’. (Also this entire plot point is suspect—she's arbitrarily falling for Koichi cause he.......is the protagonist?)  

Say what you will about shojo, they give you the emotional conversations, the moments where you think.....ahhh I can see why she is falling for him. They give you context! Shonen likes to just say HERE’S A GIRL YOUR AGE. YOU CAN DATE LATER WHEN THE ADVENTURE IS DONE.

Just when they might get together, Pop suddenly turns evilllllll. The evilllll beeeees made her eeeevilllll (and more sexy).

*Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

Because why on earth would they get together if Koichi didn’t get to rescue Pop one more time?

I’m tired. These troupes are tired. I’m sure you are too. HOWEVER! If your still with me, Let’s move into why I'm really writing this post. Let’s get to the part that got me screaming to my friends, who by the way, don’t even care bout Hero Aca….but listened anyways. May you all find nakama like these my friends.

Anyways,

HOLY FUCK ERASERHEAD’S ENTIRE BACK STORY IS IN THIS AROUND CHAPTER 60 AND IT IS WONDERFUL AND ABSOLUTLY HEARTBREAKING AND IS ONE OF THE BEST CHARACTER BACKSTORIES I HAVE EVER SEEN AND IS THE REASON WHY THIS SERIES IS A MUST-READ FOR MAIN SERIES FANS.

AND BY ALMIGHT.  

WHY. IS. IT HERE.  

I present to you my late night text messages to my friends

ALSO, AIZAWAS TEACHER IS PRINCE?!?!?!

AHEM, so as you can see, I kinda lost my shit.

And now, I would like to formally defend my claim that DESPITE HOW AMAZING IT WAS, ERASERHEAD’S BACKSTORY HAD NO BUISSNESS BEING IN THE VIGILANTES SPIN-OFF MANGA.

Eraserhead, aka Aizawa Shouta, is a side character who is working with the police on some crime stuff. He is not a main cast member in this spin off. He’s a guest character that fans of the main series will be like OH COOL. GRUMPY CAT MAN LIKES CATS ON HIS OFF HOURS TOO. LOVE THAT FOR HIM.

So, my imagine my absolute surprise when Aizawa runs into Koichi and the following happens:

It starts to rain, so, like in any good manga, this means some great FORCED BONDING TIME

Except no. It doesn't because rather than start talking, Aizawa JUST STARTS REMEMBERING—ABSOLUTLY SILENTLY TO HIS OWN PRIVETE SELF—HIS ENTIRE TRAGIC BACKSTORY.

AND THIS GOES ON FOR CHAPTERS.

THIS GOES ON LONGER THEN ARC ONE IT FEELS LIKE.

I LOVE IT, BUT KOICHI IS ABOUT TO JOIN ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA IN THE DUBIOUS CATEGORY OF “PROTAGONISTS THE SERIES FORGOT ABOUT IN LIEU OF COOLER SIDE CHARACTERS”.

AND LO IT HAS NO BEARING ON THE REST OF THE PLOT, CHARACTERS, OR STORY

What the ever-loving-just WHY?

WHY?

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

SURE, IT’S A COOL TIE-IN.

YES, OF COURSE I LOVED IT. I SHIP ERASER MIC, I DREW THIS FOR HECK’S SAKE:

AND YET I AM ANGRY.

I AM ANGRY BECAUSE MY FRIDAY WAS RUINED BECAUSE VIGILATES SUCKER PUNCHED ME WITH AN AMAZING STORY THAT REALLY WASN’T PLOT RELEVANT AND PROBABLY SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THERE.  

IS THIS WHY THEY TOOK LIKE NEXT-TO-NO CARE WITH POPS ARC?!?

I mean its ongoing, so it’s too early to say but—

In conclusion—

Excuse me one more,

AIZAWA WAS TAUGHT BY PRINCE!?!??!?!?!?!? PURPLE RAIN PRINCE!?!??!?!?!? WHAT!??!?!?!

It’s so ABSURD that I HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I HAD TO WRITE PARAGRAPHS TO JUSTIFY YELLING ABOUT THIS ONE THING. WHAT THE ABSOLUTE—

Ahem,

Anyways, I hope you liked this weird rant/personal-story/random-diatribe in three parts.

If you’re reading this, thank you, stay safe, and I’ll be back with more shojo manga next time.  

Ciao!

Dr. Shojo

(aka Dr. Shonen)

[adverb-slut]

To Be Human (Fanfiction) Part 3/?

Gah, this chapter ended up being really long for some reason, again. Anyways, thank you for your suggestions! I definitely will try to incorporate them into future storylines (perhaps the "demons getting arrested" one pretty soon ... y'know, since Mammon exists.) 

Real quick, here are some things to know about all the chapters from here on out:

Every chapter will begin with a Lucifer-Michael flashback, because he will be a really important character later on, and it's good to have a bit of background on him and how he used to be.

Not every chapter will be from Lucifer's perspective. The first three chapters were from his point of view because I thought his was rather neutral (for the most part) and therefore good for setting up all of these scenes. Anyways, yes, all the brothers will definitely get their time to shine in all of the various plotlines in this story.

As per the usual, here is the link for the chapter on AO3.

Title:

To Be Human

Summary:

When a mysterious force attacks the Devildom and destroys it, the brothers are forced to turn to their Father in the Celestial Realm for answers and assistance. However, the Almighty is still miffed at the seven due to their involvement in the Great Celestial War, and sends them to seek asylum in the one place they have yet to make their mark—the Human World.

Without the help of their beloved MC, the brothers must learn to assimilate into this strange new world, all while trying to figure out who is responsible for the destruction of the Devildom and take back their home.

Rating:

T

Word Count:

5003

Previous Chapter:

Read Chapter 2 here!

-

“Oh, Lucifer!” Michael’s voice reverberated through the House of Great Elation’s kitchen.

Lucifer, who had just been burrowing through the ill-stocked cabinets for something to eat, called back, “What now?”

“Look what I’ve got!” Michael exclaimed.  He pranced into the kitchen, holding a blond, baby angel over his head.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow.  Typically, when Father created His angels, they were fully grown, so that as soon as they were birthed, they could immediately begin their duties.  However, sometimes, when He was feeling spontaneous, the Almighty created angels that were mere infants, granting them the greatest gift of all time—the ability to grow up and have a childhood.  

Of course, as angels were infinitely busy creatures, there usually was no one available to parent them, and the baby angels oftentimes were brought up collectively by the entire Celestial Realm—that is, unless a specific angel volunteered to rear them.  

With that, a terrible thought dawned on Lucifer as he watched Michael rifle through the kitchen drawers with the child clinging on his back.

“Michael,” Lucifer began carefully, “why do you have that?”

“He’s cute, right?  A regular cherub!” sung Michael cheerfully, and it was not lost on Lucifer that he had avoided the question.  “Father gave him the name of Luke!”

Lucifer ran a hand down his face.  “Please, don’t tell me you’ve adopted him or something.”

“Then I won’t tell you anything.” Michael beamed.  He wrangled the baby Luke off of his back after procuring a frosted manna cake from the drawer and handing it to him.  

Luke cooed, an enormous, toothless grin growing on his face as he sucked the icing off of the cake.  He pat Michael’s shoulder playfully as if to show his appreciation.  

Lucifer watched, unamused at the interaction.  “Michael.”  The other angel ignored him, utterly absorbed in the baby’s itty bitty socks to pay any attention to his housemate.  “Michael, look at me.  I understand that this infant is cute, but you’re an Archangel—not to mention the General of the Heavenly Legions.  You’re at the barracks or down in the Human World, all day; there’s no way you can take care of a baby.”

Michael stared at Lucifer, his golden eyes widening for maximum cuteness.  “C’mon now, Luci, don’t be such a sourpuss.  Here, you hold him.  Once you see how cute and adorable and perfect he is, you’ll definitely want to keep him, too.”

Lucifer shook his head adamantly at the offer, but Michael wouldn’t take no for an answer and shoved Luke into his arms, anyway.  

He raised an eyebrow at the baby, who just a minute before, had been nursing Michael’s thumb and his cake, giggling happily.  Now, cradled in Lucifer’s arms, the child was silent and stared at him, appearing to size up the older angel.  A moment later, he closed his eyes with a pretentious air, stuck his teeny tiny nose in the air, and magnanimously offered Lucifer his now-soggy manna cake.  

“Thank you,” Lucifer replied stiffly, “but I’ll pass.”  He sighed when the baby hmphed and went back to sucking on his treat.  It appeared that the child wasn’t too fussy, and it especially seemed to get along with Michael.  Nevertheless, could the laid-back Angel of Destruction really be trusted to take care of something so tiny and helpless?  He did have a penchant for accidentally destroying things …   

Michael, who had seen the dubious stare on Lucifer’s face, reasoned, “Don’t look at me like that, Luci.  I’ll bring him to the barracks with me every day, and Simeon even volunteered to watch him on days I have to go down to the Human World!  You won’t even have to see him!”

“The fact that I have to see him isn’t the issue,” Lucifer assured.  He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  Simeon was an infinitely more responsible angel, and knowing that he was looking after Luke, too, was reassuring.  He groaned.  “Fine … I guess you can keep him here in the House of Great Elation.”

The Angel of Destruction clapped his hands gleefully.  “Yes!  You won’t regret it, I prom—” 

However, his celebration was cut short, when Luke, who had realized that he had licked off all the sugary frosting on his manna cake and was left with a sodden biscuit, began wailing.  

Lucifer could only raise an eyebrow as Michael sheepishly whisked the baby away from him, and put a finger over his lips to hush him.  

“Shh!  Shh!”  The angel noticed the offending manna cake in Luke’s hand and his eyes lit up.  “Oh, so you like sweets, do you?”  He perched the baby over his shoulder and began to walk out the door.  “Well, here, I’ll take you to Simeon’s—he makes this amazing dessert called ‘Simeon Rolls.”  They’re like spirals of baked dough with, like, an absolutely divine cinnamon filling and they’re covered in this icing stuff that you seem to like so much!  We kind of lost the recipe to humans—they’re dumb and took his name out of the title and call them “Cinnamon Rolls,” but the original Celestial Realm recipe is …”  His voice trailed off as the door shut behind him. 

Lucifer shook his head and smiled, turning back to pilfer once again through the cabinets for a snack.  Perhaps it was good that Luke had found Michael.  

After all, this child seemed to be one of the first angels who weren’t absolutely petrified of the Angel of Destruction. 

-

“God is dead,” Asmodeus glowered, “because I’m going to kill Him.”

Satan cleared his throat.  “In that case, God will be dead, since you haven’t killed Him yet.”  He stared at the structure before them and frowned.  “But let me know when you do, because I want in on that action, too.”

“A hovel!” Mammon wailed. “He wants us to live in a hovel!”

Lucifer shook his head at his brothers’ tendency to overdramatize things.  However, as he turned his head to the house that their Father had chosen for them, he decided that for once, maybe, their theatrics were warranted.

The edifice that stood before them was paltry, compact—almost shoebox-like—with no decorative (or even functional) exterior furnishings that could draw anyone’s attention.  It was if the house, too, was ashamed of its meagerness, and had tucked itself away to be as inconspicuous as possible.  Lucifer would have been less surprised had this building been a stable for his Father’s Royal Steeds, rather than a home for seven adult males.  

“You’re sure that this is the place?” Lucifer raised an eyebrow at Simeon, who had been relieved of his duties for a spell to deliver the brothers to their new home in the Human World.

Simeon nodded sheepishly.  “Yes, this is it.”  He read the address from the paper of information that Father had given him, before slipping it into his pocket.  “35 West Orville Court, Cedar Bridge, Wisconsin.”

Leviathan scratched his head.  “Please tell me that we’re somewhere in Japan.  It’d be so cool to actually live in the country that some of my favorite anime and manga took place.”

“Unfortunately, no, Levi,” Simeon apologized.  “We’re actually in the United States of America.”

Lucifer sighed.  “It doesn’t matter where we are.  What matters right now is that there’s no way that all seven of us can share that small of a house.”  The other demons chorused their agreement.    

While he most certainly loved his brothers, he shuddered at the prospect of living in such close quarters with them.  Back in the massive House of Lamentation, everyone was usually off doing their own thing; the only time they convened as a family was to eat meals.  If this house was really as small as it appeared on the outside, then he would have to see his brothers with sickening regularity (perhaps “sickening” was a strong word, but …).

“I’m hungry,” Beel muttered.  “Is there any food inside?”

Simeon looked thoughtful.  “I’m not sure, but since we’re going to have to go inside anyway, let’s go check.”  

“I can’t wait to see if the inside matches the outside in sheer stupidity,” said Belphie, rolling his eyes as the group followed Simeon to the dull gray front door of the house.

The seven demons and angel huddled at the entrance, where Simeon fiddled with his pocket until he procured a single key.  He handed it to Lucifer.  “You’re the oldest.  You do the honors.”

Lucifer blanched.  Only one key?  The first order of business was definitely going to a locksmith to get copies made.  Shaking his head, he took the key, inserted it into the lock, and turned, revealing unto them the inside of the house that their Father had “graciously” granted them.  

As soon as he saw the interior, his eye twitched, and he had nothing to say but, “Who would like to go back to the Celestial Realm and kill a god for me?”

Ignoring the chorus of “me’s,” that came from the group, Simeon shook his head and spread his hand over the entrance.  “Don’t condemn it before you’ve set a foot inside!  Here, let’s take a tour.  And try not to judge the décor too harshly—some of the Junior Guardian Angels were in charge of the design and they were on a budget.” 

“No kiddin.’” Mammon grumbled as Simeon led them across the threshold.  “This place is the pits.”

Lucifer had to agree.  The interior of the house from where he could see was sparsely furnished and the yellowish-white of the amenities gave everything a dingy air.

No sooner had they all stepped into the orange-carpeted entryway—which was so small that it could hardly fit the eight of them—Simeon took a sharp right.

“Since you mentioned you were hungry, Beel, this is the kitchen.”  Simeon gestured around the tiny room.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow.  This was it?  There was barely enough room for two people to stand comfortably, and there were hardly any appliances: simply a stove and a refrigerator, which Beel immediately rushed to.

“This is the smallest fridge I’ve ever met,” Beel sighed.  His frown grew even deeper as he pulled the door open, revealing it to be completely empty.  He looked down at his growling stomach, a fire raging in his eyes.  “Father will pay.” 

“Oh dear, I figured that’d be the case.  It looks like you seven are going to have to do your first round of human grocery shopping soon,” mused Simeon, looking at the unfilled fridge.  “But more on that later.  In the meantime,” he pulled out from his pocket another manna cake for Beel, “here you go.”

Beel stared at the angel dreamily as he took the cake.  “Do you always keep those on you?”

Simeon merely laughed as he walked deeper into the kitchen, which opened up to a dining room of sorts.  Lucifer assumed that the room had been built for a smaller table rather than the massive one that could seat the seven of them which resided in it now.  He wrinkled his nose at the water-stained wood that they were to dine on and the understuffed yellow cushions that adorned the dining chairs.

After several scathing remarks on the abysmal state of the décor from Asmo, Simeon led the group past the petite dining room into the living area.

“At least there’s a computer.”  Levi pointed to a laptop that sat on a comically enormous desk and shook his head sadly.  “Although I don’t think it’s the kind you can game on.”

Next to the desk were two mismatching sofas that looked as if they’d been plucked out of the Victorian era, and across from them was a dark brown TV stand with an old, boxy TV.

“What year do those Junior Guardians think it is?” Satan demanded, poking the television suspiciously.  “Half of this stuff belongs in a different century!”

“Like I said,” Simeon replied sheepishly.  “They were on a budget.  Come on, now, let’s go see the rest of the house.”

“I don’t know if I wanna,” muttered Mammon.  “‘Cause if it’s anythin’ like what we just saw, it’s gonna be C-R-A-P—crap.”

Lucifer silently agreed with the secondborn as Simeon now took them down a hall attached to the living room.  On the right side of the hallway was a single door, which Simeon explained to them was a closet.  To the left were two more doors, one of which was a paltry laundry room (it simply consisted of a washing machine and a dryer stacked atop each other) and the other, a bathroom.  

Asmodeus screamed when he saw the smallness of it, and there was a collective tantrum when Simeon said that it was the only bathroom in the house and that they would all have to share it.  

The biggest offender of the house was the room that haunted the end of the hall—the bedroom. 

 Singular.

“How nice of the Junior Guardians to line up seven twin beds for all of us,” Belphie deadpanned.

Lucifer blanched.  From the outside, he had known that the house was small, but not so small that all seven brothers would have to share a room.  

He’d always accredited the seminormal peace in the House of Lamentation to the fact that each brother had had their own space, whether it be to cool off from an argument in, or just relax and take some time for themself.  In this house, there was no such space, and he could already envision the cesspool of conflict that their home would become.

“I’d rather live in the burning Tartarus that is the Devildom than here,” Satan decided.

Lucifer nodded.  “I know that we’re supposed to be demons, but Father is the real demon for expecting us to live in this shed.”

“I say,” said Mammon, “that we go back to the Devildom, anyway, and see if the House of Lamentation is still standin.’” 

Simeon shook his head.  “Going back to the Devildom is impossible right now.  Because of this whole mess, Father’s shut down the border indefinitely.”

“Well, tell Him that we’re not staying here,” growled Asmodeus.  “We’re just going to have to get a bigger house.”

Again, Simeon shook his head.  “Don’t you see?  Father chose this place on purpose.”

“And what kind of purpose would that be?” snapped Belphie.  “To torture us?”

Simeon let out a body-shaking groan.  “Everyone, please sit down.”  He walked over to the dining table, and the brothers followed him begrudgingly.  “Take a seat.”

“These chairs aren’t too comfy,” Beel noticed, shifting back and forth in his seat.

“No kiddin,’” agreed Mammon.  “My poor rear end!” 

Leviathan rolled his eyes.  “You guys are weak!  I’ve sat in gaming chairs far less comfortable than this for hours! ”

“Why is he proud of this?” whispered Satan to Asmo.

Before Levi could snark a reply,  Lucifer hushed them by clearing his throat.  “If I recall, Simeon had something important to tell us.”  He gestured toward the angel, who nodded and pulled out the letter he had earlier from his pocket, as well as an envelope.  

“So first and foremost, I need you seven to fill out these forms.”  From the envelope, Simeon procured seven folded sheets of paper and handed them, as well as a pen to Lucifer.  “It’s just some information about your human persona.  From that, the Celestial Realm will have bank accounts and credit cards opened in your name, as well as ID cards made.  There’s only one pen—sorry—so, Lucifer, why don’t you just fill everything out?  We’ll start with that.”

“Okay,” said Lucifer, pulling out a form.  The first line asked for his “full legal name.”  As he was about to pen down, “Lucifer,” Simeon stopped him.

“Lucifer isn’t a common name in the Human World,” Simeon said.  “Perhaps just write ‘Lucius.’  That name is also not incredibly common, but at least it won’t get you as many strange looks.  And maybe as your surname put … eh—I’m not sure, actually.  You all need to have the same last name, so I suggest doing that last.”

Lucifer nodded and wrote what the angel suggested down.  The next few questions were simple—his height, his weight, allergies, blood type, medical conditions, and the like.  He filled out the form with ease and handed it to Simeon.  “Now for yours, Mammon.”  

The secondborn demon nodded.  “I want my name to be written down as ‘The Great Mammon.’”

After a round of groans from the demons, Simeon laughed and said, “Again, that’s not a human name—or at least, not an American one.”  Simeon rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  “What about ‘Marvin?’  It kind of sounds like ‘Mammon.’”

Mammon groaned.  “Ugh, that’s gotta be one of the lamest names, ever.  Why do I gotta have a name that sounds like ‘Mammon,’ anyways?”

Lucifer could see the logic behind the name, and answered, “That way, if we ever have to go out in public, it’ll be easier for us to remember what our ‘human name’ is if it sounds like our demon one.”

“Not that it matters for Mammon, ‘cause who’d want to go out in public with him, anyway?” snickered Asmo. 

Mammon, whose face had turned a beet red, shook his fist at his brother and reached over the table toward him.  “Wait ‘till I get my hands on you, Asmo, I’m gonn— ”

“—And now it’s Levi’s turn!” announced Simeon cheerfully.  “I suggest just keeping his name as ‘Levi,’ as that’s not too uncommon in this realm.”

Leviathan’s bottom lip trembled.  “You—you mean I can’t have a cool Japanese name like, like, Sasuke or—or—Ichigo?”

Lucifer stifled a smile as Simeon put his hand on Levi’s shoulder and said, “There, there.  Think about it, Levi; ‘Sasuke’ and ‘Ichigo’ don’t sound much like your real name, do they?  Why not make it easier on your brothers to remember and just keep your name as is?”

Leviathan consented by putting his hands over his face, muttering, “Why did I have to be named ‘Levi?’”

Lucifer pat his shoulder consolingly before flipping to the next sheet.  “Okay, Satan, your turn.”

The fourthborn demon crossed his arms and simply answered, “I’m keeping my name as ‘Satan.’  I’m not ashamed of it and don’t think it's necessary to assume an identity that I don’t have.”

Simeon smiled tolerantly.  “‘Nathan,’ it is.”

Satan’s face turned an unholy shade of red as he opened his mouth to berate the angel, but Lucifer cut in smoothly, “‘Nathan’ is good—sounds like ‘Satan.’  Next is Asmo.”

“I—I’m not goi—I refuse—no … ‘Nathan?!’” was all Satan could screech before Asmo chirped, “I’d like to be called ‘Adonis.’”  When the group simply stared at him, he gestured toward Levi, rolling his eyes.  “Oh, like ‘Sasuke’ was any better.  At least mine makes sense!”  He flipped his hair.  “I am the handsome Adonis of this group, after all.”

Satan, who had yet to recover from being given his new human name, darkly muttered, “Hopefully you get gutted by a wild boar like your namesake, as well.”

Ignoring Satan’s spiel, Simeon and Lucifer shared a look, before the eldest demon shrugged and wrote Asmo’s name of choice down.

Simeon turned toward Beelzebub and Belphegor.  “I’m sorry.  At the moment I can’t think of any human names that are similar to yours.”  He pointed behind them to the computer table.  “Perhaps you’d like to look some names up?  The internet is already connected—simply click the red-green-yellow circle icon and a screen with a search bar should pop up.”  

As the two meandered off to find suitable names for themselves, Simeon took the other forms that Lucifer had already filled out and reviewed them.  He nodded before handing them all back to him  “These look good, but Lucifer, you need to change all these allergies—more than half of the foods and plants listed here are all from the Devildom.  And ‘regurgitated by a giant sea monster pet and experiences minor movement issues’ has to go.  Getting eaten by a Kraken isn’t something most humans would live through, much less survive long enough to experience medical issues from.”

"It's a real issue!" Leviathan pouted.  "It's the only reason I'm bad at sports, I swear!"

Lucifer nodded, ignoring his brother.  He’d filled out dozens of forms for his brothers back in the Devildom, and he had just written in the information on these sheets as he had then.  He hadn’t stopped to think that not only would the names have to be adjusted to fit human standards, but the actual data, as well. 

As he took the papers back from Simeon, the angel raised an eyebrow and added, “And I’d change your and everyone else’s birthdays, as well.  While June sixth is a fine date of birth, the year ‘when the universe was first spoken into being’ isn’t … entirely possible for a human.”

“Then what year are we s'posed to put, then?” Mammon asked, holding up his hands in confusion.  “Besides Satan, we were all born around that time.”

Simeon hummed thoughtfully.  “Subtract thirty years from the current year and then choose from that range a birthyear that symbolizes which order you were ‘born’ in.”

“I see.”  Lucifer kind of wanted to ask the angel how exactly old he thought he looked when he chose the number thirty but decided to not put him on the spot, considering how helpful he was being.  He corrected the last of the completed documents and turned to Beel and Belphie, who were still huddled over the laptop screen.  “If you two aren’t done yet, I’m coming over there.”

“It’s okay, I’ve made my decision,” Beel said.  He turned to his brothers and announced, “My human name should be ‘Oreo.’”

A buzz of agreement went up from the seven demons, but Simeon stared at the group with a confused air.  “‘Oreo?’  I’m not sure that’s a human name.  In fact, I believe it’s a brand of cookie, as well as a common name for pets.”

Beel shook his head.  “It can’t be.  I typed in ‘good names’ in the search bar and that’s one of the names that showed up.”  

“And it looks like the computer auto-populated your search with ‘good names for dogs, ’” Levi, who had meandered over to the twins, read off of the computer.

“Aw, Beel, you’re just a great big puppy dog, aren’t ya?” Mammon laughed.

Beel looked down and muttered, “I didn’t know it was a dog name.”  He turned back to the screen to do another search and read one of the first names that popped up.  “How about … ‘Eli?’”

Asmo nodded.  “It has the same long e sound as ‘Beelzebub.’”

“‘Eli’ it is, then,” Lucifer decided, writing down the name.  He looked up at the seventhborn demon.  “And you, Belphie?”

“I don’t want any stupid human name,” Belphie said defiantly, staring at his eldest brother in challenge.

Lucifer put his palm to his face.  Why did he always intend to be so difficult?  “If you don’t choose a name, Belphegor, I’ll choose for you.”  When Belphie didn’t respond, Lucifer turned to Simeon.  “What’s the worst human name you can think of?”

“Any normal name spelled with ‘e-i-g-h,’” Simeon answered immediately.  

Lucifer nodded.  “That sounds terrible.”  He penned it down as Belphegor’s first name and turned to the rest of the group.  “It’s time to choose a surname.”

“How about LuciferNeedsToDie?” suggested Belphie, who glowered at the firstborn.

Satan grinned deviously.  “I second that.”

“I’ll agree to it only if we change it to LuciferIsAnEvilLord,” said Levi.

Lucifer shot his brothers a look.  “If you continue to talk like that, I’ll show you just how much of an ‘evil lord’ I can really be.”

“I have a suggestion,” Beel announced, still scrolling through the computer.  “Maybe a good last name would be ‘Daemon.’  It means ‘demon’ in Latin.”  

Lucifer tested the word on his tongue.  “‘Daemon.’  I like it.”

“A little obvious,” admitted Simeon, “but it’s not the worst.”  He took the last of the forms Lucifer handed him and the brothers watched in interest as he pulled out a few more items from the envelope.  “A few last things before I go.”  He handed Lucifer a shiny black card, pointedly ignoring the dreamy look Mammon gave it.  “This is my personal debit card for when I’m in the Human World.  It’s currently loaded with five hundred dollars for you seven to buy groceries for yourselves.”

“Five hundred?” Mammon exclaimed, his tan face paling.  “That’s not gonna buy as anythin!’”  

Asmodeus’ brow furrowed in worry.  “For once, I agree with the scumbag.  We’d be lucky to get even a cheap bottle of hand lotion.”

Lucifer shook his head.  His Father had said that He’d send them “provisions,” but he supposed that he should’ve known that Father wouldn’t be much help.  He felt the pit of anger in his stomach grow; how incredibly typical of the Almighty.  How in the world were the brothers supposed to make ends meet with this meager an amount of money?

“Please don’t spend my money on hand lotion, Asmo,” Simeon pleaded.  “It’s for food only, right now.  And don’t worry, lambs, the only reason why it appears I’ve given so little is that U.S dollars are worth a lot more than Grimm.  One dollar is equivalent to twenty thousand Grimm.” 

“So … essentially you’ve given us ten million Grimm?” Satan asked, his eyes widening.  “Simply for groceries?”

“Are you crazy?” Belphegor demanded.  “That’s not going to feed Beel for very long.”

Beel nodded in agreement.  “It’s true.”

“See, we in the Celestial Realm knew that your group of seven would have quite a few expenses, which is why Father chose for you such a small house.  He’s already paid for it so all you need to pay is property taxes and utilities, both of which will be quite low in a house this small in suburban Wisconsin.  That way, once you begin to start working and making money, as little of your income as possible will go toward the house.”  Simeon pushed the debit card closer toward Lucifer, who pocketed it before Mammon could snatch it.  “Father trusted you seven enough that you’d be able to find your way in this world, so the five hundred dollars is simply a gift from me.”’

Lucifer raised an eyebrow.  Could it really be that their Father had had their best interests at heart in assigning them this hovel?

The brothers sat in silence for a moment at Simeon’s words, before Asmo wondered, “Okay, I get the whole I-made-My-sons-live-in-an-actual-shack part, but if Father’s so amazing and wonderful, why doesn’t He make us live in an actually nice house, considering He’s supposed to be the ‘King of Kings’ and can do whatever He wants?”

“And how come he’s not actually supportin’ us?  Financially, I mean,” added Mammon.

Simeon laughed.  “Would you have accepted His help if He had?”

“Absolutely not.”  There wasn’t a note of hesitation in Lucifer’s voice.  His animosity toward his Father had subsided somewhat during this whole debacle but he would never forget the Almighty’s unfeeling and dead eyes as He hurled him and his siblings out of the Celestial Realm.

“I expected as much,” said Simeon, nodding.  “Anyways, here, taking Beel into account, I’ve composed a list of cheap but healthy grocery items to buy when you go shopping.  Some of the ingredients are already ones you’ve used in the Devildom, but there are some delicious new ones for you to try, as well.  Additionally, later in the week, I’ll come by and drop off an estimate of all the bills you’ll have to pay, as well as the credit and ID cards I promised earlier.”

“Simeon, how is it that you’re so knowledgeable of things in the Human World?” asked Satan.  “I thought all you did nowadays was guard the gates.”

Simeon smiled sadly.  “Back when I was an Archangel, I’d come down here, posing as a human, to direct and advise my little lambs.”  He gestured toward the debit card, which stuck out of Lucifer’s pocket.  “I’ve kept in touch with all the trends and changes going on in this world, should … Father ever reinstate unto me my former position.”

Out of respect for Simeon, the group bowed their heads and maintained silence for several moments, before Lucifer spoke up.  “Regardless of your status, thank you for helping us through this change, Simeon.  We’re all very grateful.” He turned toward his brothers with a stern look.  “Aren’t we?”

“Oh, yeah, totally,” Mammon began, and the other five chorused their agreement.

“You’re very welcome.” The angel beamed.  He handed Lucifer the prospective grocery list, as well as another sheet of paper.  “This is simply a record of some potential jobs for the seven of you to take up, as well as some phone numbers to call.”

Simeon began to walk out the door, leaving the brothers to their own devices, but before he could shut the door behind him, Belphegor called out, “Wait—how are we gonna call those numbers?  I’m gonna assume our D.D.Ds don’t pick up any human cell service and besides, they’re all dead, and we didn’t get a chance to pack their chargers.”

The angel’s smile was strangely cryptic as he replied, “Ah, I almost forgot to mention.  Your mobile phones will be coming later in the week.  For now, use the landline that’s on the desk.  As for cell service—and internet also—it’s being provided and paid for by the Celestial Realm’s own private company.”  Without another word, he shut the door behind him.  

“Huh,” Mammon said.  “The Celestial Realm goin’ capitalist.  Never thought I’d see the day.”

Satan rubbed his chin.  “It’s pretty nice that they’ve decided to give us all that free of charge.”  He paused for effect.  “Almost too nice.”

“Guys,” Levi began, biting his nails nervously, “did anyone consider the fact that because the Celestial Realm’s gonna be providing us with their own internet and cell service that they might be able to spy on us?”

Lucifer’s eyes widened at the realization.

That … was a terrifyingly real possibility.  

He groaned.  Just when he thought his Father had relinquished some of His control-freak tendencies.  

[waywardwonder]

HOWDY YA”LL!!! Wayward here!!! 
This is my first post on tumblr and also my first time doing digital art. I’m actually REALLY happy with how this came out!!! It’s not that detailed or anything but I think it’s pretty good for a first time thing. 
But I don’t know much about drawing
or coloring a lot of things like skin/shading/rotten flesh and the like which I’m going to try to work on. If anybody knows any videos or channels with good tutorials for digital art (mostly on the basics) I would be so grateful if you could comment the links. Personal tips and tricks you might have are also welcomed. I use firealpaca just so you know but I’d love some other program recommendations if anyone has any (please only recommend free ones because I have no money T_T). 
This is a fan art of The Plague from Dead by Daylight who I absolutely never play as but I had this idea of The Doctor and The Nurse standing 6 feet apart with masks on yelling about to social distancing (Sally wouldn’t yell but Herman certainly would). I also imagine one of the killers (probably Michael) getting to close to The Doctor’ and Herman uses his static field to stun them while shouting “SIX FEET APART!!!!” and then Micheal proceeding to try and stab him which eventually led me to thinking about the other killers and how they would act, mainly Adiris (The Plague) and how she would low key purposely get closer to Herman just to irritate him so yeah, that’s how I came up with Addy wearing a #ProCorona shirt. Also I give nicknames to a lot of the DBD characters (and almost all other fictional characters) so I call Adiris “Addy” because why not :) ?
I might make the artwork of The Doctor and Nurse with the social distancing situation later and everything but I’m still really new to digital art and I’m going to experiment on firealpaca first. 
Also I’ve been in a HUGE dbd mood ever since I read the last chapter of my absolutely favorite fanfiction of all time In Living Memory by @ziracona. It’s a literal work of art like UGHHHHH HOW CAN SOMETHING BE SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!! My only complaint in the whole thing is that no matter how hard I try I can’t chose a favorite character. I love my boys Joey and Michael and my gals Meg, Kate, and Laurie but I also adore my cinnamon rolls Quentin, Claudette, and Phillip but I also love Frank because I love the legion as a whole and the characterization @ziracona has done for them in spectacular and amazing. I also love the Dads Jeff, Tapp, and Ace and Mama Anna. The family fluff literally made all my teeth rot and I regret NOTHING. I just love the whole story so much, I can’t even watch the muppets or listen to Rainbow Connection without being taken over by the uncontrollable need to reread it. Every chapter is absolute perfection. Their isn’t a single character that is lacking in personality or story. Anybody who sees this post (which with my lack of followers is probably going to be no one honestly) should read this fan fiction. Here are some reasons. 
- The references to literally everything (AND I MEAN EVERYTHING) - Canon personalities and stories (the research the author does is on point and god do I wish this whole entire thing was canon) 
- Phillip doing his absolute best and everyone giving him love he thinks he doesn’t deserve but he does 
- Phillip and Claudette sibling duo 
- Laurie and Michael bonding and reconciliation (which for the record is my favorite part of this fanfic right next to Legion character development and bonding with Jeff) 
- Laurie and Quentin sibling duo 
- Laurie, Michael, and Quentin sibling trio 
- Meg’s talk shows, vine reenactments, and movies ( Welcome to Hell with Meg Thomas is everything) 
- Laurie being a bad-ass 
- Kate being a bad-ass 
- Frank’s backstory and character development 
- Suzie and Meg being so cute together 
- Jake and Dwight being cute together 
- Nea and Feng being cute together 
- Jake’s pet crow 
- Survivors as a family (Phillip is an honorary survivor) 
- Jeff being way to good of a person and forgiving everyone and being a great Dad 
- The legion members and their insane and amazing character development 
- Tapp being a good Dad - Ace being a cool weird uncle and a awesome Dad 
- ANNA BEING BEST MOM 
- Adam writing beautiful stories that literally made me cry (I’m not exaggerating, it just really hit me in the feels) - Dirty Dancing (Read the fan fiction and you’ll
know what I’m talking about) 
- Michael Cat 
- Singing 
- Birthdays 
- Cake 
- Claudette’s cookies (I want one or maybe a lot of them) 
- Jane Romero being a great therapist 
- Rin (Just Rin in general, read it for her) 
- Claudette being team mom 
- Dwight being team dad 
- For Christ’s sake stop reading this long (and madly out of order) list and read the story already, you will not regret it and if you’re anything like me you’ll probably cry on multiple occasions but for the record it has a super happy ending so don’t worry to much about character deaths because there is not a lot (other then some obvious antagonist of course). 
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15928223/chapters/37136930 
Also follow @ziracona 
WOW, I went on a unplanned tangent but oh well. Worth it. Anyway, please treat me nice but feel free to give me constructive criticism on my art.

[ilikecowsnstuff]

CHAPTER ELEVEN!!!

SUMMARY:  UA Hero Course - Third Year. Shigaraki Tomura and Dabi have been classmates and rivals since their very first day at UA. But with new feelings developing how will they cope given their history of fragile and often violent encounters? Their dance begins after a partnered training exam goes wrong, leaving Shigaraki wounded and Dabi feeling guilty. AU.

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For AO3 – Click Here

For FanFiction – Click Here

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CHAPTER ELEVEN - EXTRAORDINARY DAY

 ~ MORNING ~

 Shigaraki arrived just before the bell. This was very atypical of him - and he was especially flustered because in the mad rush to get to class on time he had left his hoodie in his room. He felt exposed without it. And cold.

 Unfortunately, and to add to his already growing level of discomfort, his usual seat at the back of the room had been usurped by another student taking advantage of his tardiness. Shigaraki frowned, hesitating in the doorway, not sure where to sit. Noticing his uncertainty, Kurogiri mouthed a quick apology for not being able to keep Shigaraki’s usual seat and he shrugged his shoulders. 

 Shigaraki scanned the classroom, his eyes finally resting on the front of the room by the window, where Dabi usually sat… And was sitting, smiling when their eyes met. He inclined his head slightly to the left, trying to draw Shigaraki’s attention to the empty desk - save where Dabi’s bag was sitting, seemingly holding the seat for him.

 Exhaling, Shigaraki passed the first row of desks to take his seat, catching a nasty glare from Takami who had been relegated to stare at the back of Dabi’s head. Dabi reached a long arm over, removing his bag so Shigaraki could slide into place - which he did with an irritated scowl. Dabi grinned, leaning in.

 “Hi.”

 “Hi.” Shigaraki mumbled, trying his best to remain polite despite falling right into Dabi’s perfectly laid trap.

 “You look exceptionally disheveled this morning, Mop Head. Have a rough night?”

 “Shut up.” Shigaraki grumbled, trying to ignore his desk neighbor, which was easier said than done. Even though they were just sitting nearby - nothing inappropriate, Shigaraki couldn’t help flushing at the proximity.

 Fortunately, no one seemed to be paying them any attention, like it wasn’t unusual for them to be sitting together. Half the students were already nodding off.

 Planting his elbow on the desk, Shigaraki rested his chin in the palm of his hand, and kept his gaze focused on the front of the room. Mr. Aizawa arrived not a second too soon and immediately began the morning's lecture.

 A piece of notebook paper slid in the way of Shigaraki’s open book. He started, glancing up in confusion. Then over, realizing the note had come from Dabi.

 Dabi was waiting, smiling faintly, though not looking directly at Shigaraki. He nodded his head, gesturing for Shigaraki to look down again.

 Shigaraki did reluctantly, reading the note.

 I had a dream about you last night.

 Shigaraki glanced back up, making a face. He didn’t need to know this, and even more importantly, he did not want to hear or talk about Dabi’s lewd dreams. And especially not in class. He could just be jumping to unfair assumptions, though. Maybe Dabi’s dream was not as indecent as Shigaraki was anticipating. It was unlikely, but possible.

 He scrunched up the piece of paper and moved it aside, deciding it was better to avoid the note than start something with Dabi.

 A second later, another note slid across again. Shigaraki’s pen skid across his book before he realized, and he breathed in sharply, frowning in disapproval.

 Dabi wrote: It was really really good. I didn’t get ANY sleep afterwards.

 Shigaraki blushed, his pen poised in the air. His hand shook a bit. He didn’t know how to respond to that.

 Maybe keep it to yourself. He quickly scribbled out, returning the paper to Dabi. He leaned forward and bent his arm across his desk, semi-hiding and wishing he had his hoodie.

 Without fail, the note crinkled its way into his line of vision.

 I wish it was last period, this is going to be the longest day of my life. Want to come to my room after class? We can recreate my dream.

 Gritting his teeth, Shigaraki looked up to make sure Mr. Aizawa’s back was turned before he quickly wrote back: Sorry. No thanks.

 He saw Dabi grin from the corner of his eye. Then he was writing again. He passed the note back.

 Damn. I guess I will have to take care of business myself. Shame. I swear I am going to get carpal tunnel from all the jerking off I’m doing. I thought you cared about my well-being Mop Head? Help me out.

 Shigaraki wrote back immediately: No. And seriously, is that all you think about?

 I am a normal teenage boy so basically yes. Don’t you? Dabi replied, adding a winky smiley emoticon to the end of his note.

 Shigaraki’s face heated even further, his pen frozen, reading over the last reply. He should have never started replying to the note, he had regrets. No. I guess I’m not normal.

 After scanning the note, Dabi physically shifted his shoulders, turning to look at Shigaraki who pretended not to see the movement. He had one brow arched. 

 “Hey.” He whispered.

 “What?”

 “Did you decide about my party?”

 Shigaraki sighed and dropped his chin against his arms - which were folded neatly on top of his desk. He wanted to say no of course, but Dabi looked so hopeful and eager. Truthfully, he, Kurogiri and Kai had already agreed to go to the party together, but he still wasn’t one-hundred percent sure about it. And he wasn’t ready to make that final commitment, least not to Dabi. Not yet. But how could he say no?

 On the flip side, Dabi had dropped the obscene subject of their prior conversation which was a welcomed change. Shigaraki would run with it.

 “If I come, I'm not staying long.” He muttered, heat flooding his face once again. He glanced quickly over at Dabi whose grin had grown wider. Shigaraki was amazed how something so small like agreeing to go to his party would make Dabi so happy. So stupid. It was such a simple gesture.

 Dabi nodded and pushed the note they had been passing back and forth over to Shigaraki.

 Meet me at the bleachers at lunch. Shigaraki noticed the roughly drawn heart before he could scan over the text. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and then balled up the note, tucking it out of sight.

 “Okay.” He simply replied, eyes fixed forward.

 Distracted from note passing and the mostly non-verbal conversation, Shigaraki jumped when the bell rang. Dabi snickered under his breath, reaching over and stealing the trashed paper back from Shigaraki. When Shigaraki glanced up dazed, Dabi was getting up to his feet, his vibrant blue eyes twinkling. “I’m keeping this.”

 Shigaraki narrowed his eyes.

 “I won’t share it with anyone. Don’t worry.” Dabi quickly added. And as Shigaraki came to his feet, he felt the shock of Dabi’s warm mouth touch his cheek and pull away again, a brief kiss that hopefully no one noticed.

 Shigaraki scowled and shoved him aside. He wanted to curse and chew the other boy out for his daring but didn’t want to draw any unnecessary attention. And they had to get to the gym to change for their practical training class, they didn’t have time to loiter about.

 “Try that again and I’ll rip those piercings from your face.” He grinned manically. Annoyed at how Dabi was looking so pleased with himself and the stolen kiss.

 “Kinky.”

 “Tch. Go away.”

 “Mmk. I’ll see you at lunch.” Dabi snickered and brushed his hand, thumb stroking the inside of Shigaraki’s palm, teasing the skin. And then he was moving away, jogging to catch up to Takami who was huffing and storming off ahead of the rest of the class, still bitter about his uprooting.

 Shigaraki stood there awkwardly, hovering just outside the doorway, and surprisingly - though hating himself for it - enjoying the way his hand tingled as he watched Dabi’s tall, dark head disappear down the hall.

 ~ LUNCH ~

 Dabi was late.

 Shigaraki checked his phone for what seemed like the hundredth time, chiding himself for being in such a selfish hurry to rush outside and avoid Kurogiri and Kai - who would’ve absolutely questioned him about his alternate plans for lunch. Now, he was standing alone beneath the bleachers, trying to cling to the tiny ray of sunshine that was peeking through the seats. He should have just met Dabi in the hallway, they could have gone outside together. What an idiot.

 Shigaraki was in the process of turning around and heading back to the main building when Dabi approached him, his tall head blocking out the sun, at least from where Shigaraki stood. He looked almost Angelic haloed by the light, but Shigaraki knew that was all very deceiving. Dabi was literally the devil. But that didn’t stop Shigaraki’s cheeks from flushing with heat at the sight of him, however. Dammit. Why was he so attracted to Dabi? He didn’t get it all. Especially because whenever the zombie boy opened his stupid mouth Shigaraki wanted to hit him. On the flip side, those eyes, damn those hypnotizing blue orbs lured him in every time.

 He thought maybe those conflicting sentiments maybe proved that there wasn’t really anything for Shigaraki to get, maybe there was no rhyme or reason for why one person was attracted to another, just like the way Shigaraki couldn’t help his interest in Dabi.

 His fascination grinned, eyelashes lowering when he met Shigaraki’s annoyed gaze and without a single word of greeting Dabi stepped into Shigaraki’s personal space and reached for his chin, angling Shigaraki’s face up for a kiss.

 Shigaraki almost forgot where he was and that they weren’t supposed to be doing this. It wasn't just about how self-conscious PDA made him. It was more because he felt so out of control when Dabi kissed him, like he wasn’t thinking straight. His hands were always so restless. Not to mention other students were passing them, walking across the field close to them. Too close to them.

 As these thoughts trickled into Shigaraki’s awareness, he blocked Dabi’s mouth just before their lips touched with a quickly raised hand. Dabi immediately drew back, and sensing his unease smiled before laying a hand on Shigaraki’s shoulder. The warmth of his palm did make Shigaraki feel a little better.

 “Why are you so cruel?” Dabi whispered through an amused grin. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you since last night. Well, obviously I want more but i’m pretty sure what I actually want would be crossing a definite line. At school anyway.”

 “Tch.”

 Dabi’s grin grew wider and he swept his hand slowly down Shigaraki’s arm.

 “Why are we out here, Dabi?” Shigaraki grumbled, scratching at the side of his neck just above the collar of his shirt. “It’s fucking cold.”

 “Do you want me to hold you?”

 Shigaraki huffed, making a face at Dabi before jerking his head away.

 “I’m very warm.”

 “No. Thank you.” Shigaraki said. Scratch, scratch, scratch.

 Dabi’s brow furrowed and he placed his hand over Shigaraki’s - stopping him from drawing blood with his blunt nails as he raked them roughly over his skin.

 “I wanted to ask you something. I was going to wait a bit longer but… after my dream last night, and then seeing you this morning… I need to ask you now.”

 “I swear if this is about your party again i’m…”

 “No.” Dabi interjected, chuckling. “It’s not about the party.”

 Shigaraki waited, his neck tingling. He wanted to scratch so bad. 

 “I want to go out.”

 “You want to go out? Right now?”

 “Yes.”

 “Where do you want to go?”

 “No, that’s ah... that’s not what I mean.” Dabi’s lip twitched. “I want to go out with you. Like officially. You and me.”

 Shigaraki stopped breathing and immediately resumed his frantic scratching. He just needed something to do, he was so anxious. 

 “You’re not serious?” He pulled away from Dabi, taking a step back and forcing Dabi to drop his hand. He frowned a little.

 “I am. Absolutely, completely, and utterly serious.” Dabi replied, brows drawn. He hadn’t expected this kind of reaction. He thought maybe if he showed Shigaraki how serious he was, it would make him more comfortable with the idea of being in an actual public relationship with him. Apparently, he had been wrong.

 “Don’t you want to give it a try?”

 “Why? What’s wrong with what we have now?”

 “Shigaraki,” Dabi started in a low soothing tone. It was that velvety voice that really got under Shigaraki’s skin too. He really was the devil.

 Dabi stepped in closer, and Shigaraki tried to lean away. “I really like you. And it’s not just about sex or…”

 “Oh God. Stop.” Shigaraki cringed, looking away, and he rubbed at his forehead with the heel of his hand.

 “So... you do want to have sex?” Dabi asked, brow arched. Shigaraki scoffed in return. Dabi had misread his reaction.

 “No, I didn’t…”

 “What are you so afraid of?” Dabi added, “Is it because I am a guy? If I had a pair of tits would you be okay with this?”

 “You really are an idiot.”

 Dabi’s mouth settled into a hard line. Silent for a moment as he stared at Shigaraki.

 “Kurogiri knows, you know.”

 Shigaraki lifted his head with a snap. “What?”

 “I didn’t say anything. He figured it out on his own. And he seems pretty cool with it.”

 “What exactly does that mean? What does he know?”

 “About us.”

 “There is no us.”

 “I want there to be.” Dabi reiterated. “You like me, don’t you?”

 “Dabi…”

 “Answer the question.”

 Shigaraki scowled but couldn’t keep up the facade. He wasn’t naive, and he knew that they were cultivating something more meaningful than just a friendship but it was still hard for him to come to terms with it.

 “I… like you.”

 Dabi smiled and slid his hand beneath the light hair at the side of Shigaraki’s face, stroking his smooth cheek. “I want people to know that you are my…”

 “I need some time.” Shigaraki cut him off, stepping away but Dabi reached out and took his forearm, trying to stop him from leaving.

 “I understand.” Dabi said, stepping closer again. “And I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, but I had to make my move. We don’t have much time left at UA, and I don’t want to miss…” Dabi shook his head, letting that thought trail off. “We’ve already wasted so much time already. I want you to be my boyfriend.” He said, almost pleading.

 Shigaraki’s brows pulled tightly together. He was trying to stare at Dabi’s skewed tie, a desperate effort not to look at his face - even though they were so very close. 

 “Look at me.” Dabi beckoned. Still speaking softly, but it was a stern command.

 Shigaraki shook his head stubbornly then turned his cheek away, reeling away from Dabi’s touch. Then the heat of the other boy’s hand fell away. It was quiet, save for their uneven breathing. Dabi didn’t say anything. He might have been frowning. Shigaraki couldn’t be sure -  he was looking down at his sneakers. Pathetic. 

 “If you don’t want the same thing that I do then… you should just tell me now and I'll… stop.” Dabi mumbled. He brushed the light hair away from Shigaraki’s eyes and then slowly turned, walking away, gravel crunching below his shoes. 

====================

Chapter One – Accidental Attraction

Chapter Two – After Care

Chapter Three – Dazed and Confused

Chapter Four – I Like You

Chapter Five - Friends and Enemies

Chapter Six - Confrontation!

Chapter Seven - Transfer Student

Chapter Eight - A Period of Learning

Chapter Nine - Work and Play

Chapter Ten - Friday

[eloquenceassassinated]

I’m Leaving Tumblr: A Farewell to my Followers

I haven't been very active on this blog lately. If you're observant, you've probably noticed it. If I really wanted to, I could probably just leave it that way; everyone would eventually take me off their followed list as an inactive blog and absently wonder where I went. But I don't really want to do that.

In his poem “The Hollow Men,” T. S. Elliot wrote, “This is how the world ends: not with a bang, but with a whimper.” In my case, though I'm not a popular blog by any stretch, and though this arguably isn't a website that deserves the fanfare, I don't want to leave with a bang, but at least with a whisper: “Thanks for the memories. I'll be on my way now.”

To do that properly, I have to take you on a little ride. 

In my time on this website, I:

Joined tumblr in June of 2017 for the purposes of posting art.

Proceeded to not post a lot of art.

Found the Captain America, Voltron, and Ninjago fandoms on here and got swept up in those instead.

Got my first 100 notes on a post about Dr. Julien. Dabbed in celebration.

Made a post about Shiro and Bucky maybe being friends.

Bought a mug from mintmintdoodles—and liked it!

Went on a missions trip. Came back.

Reblogged a LOT of fandom stuff.

Saw Wonder Woman, which was good.

Celebrated my first Steve's Birthday—I mean Fourth of July on the site.

Made lots of Clone!Shiro theory posts. 

Made a dumb “who in Voltron likes anime?” post. 

Fell in love with Matt Holt.

Started posting “Grass Whistle”, my first multi-chapter fanfic. 

Got a job, which kinda put the kabosh on the fanfic for a bit.

Bought a print from mechinaries.

Found a bunch of my other fandoms on this site including Lord of the Rings, How to Train Your Dragon, and Hamilton.

Celebrated my first Christmas on the site. 

Participated in the Ninjago Secret Santa, where I actually got my friend Candaru's prompt and it was hilarious.

Kinda ghosted through the first winter months of 2018 as my job occupied more and more of my time. 

Resumed posting Grass Whistle in the spring of 2018 and finally finished it, to a wonderful reception.

Saw Black Panther and loved it!

Started posting “The Run and Go”, to a better reception on FF.net than this site.

Saw Thor: Ragnarok and wished we got to see that hug.

Witnessed the best season of Voltron (S6) before everything went downhill.

Went on vacation. Came back.

Wrote and posted “Brother”.

Posted art celebrating Candaru's story “Several Dead LEGOs Play Cards”.

Went on the missions trip again. Came back.

Saw Infinity War and was in DENIAL.

Reconnected with a friend with whom I'd been through a really rough patch over the past couple of years, and began to mend our friendship.

Posted a really long queue of LotR stuff for no particular reason.

Watched Voltron end; it was terrible.

Started a new year and continued to keep the blog busy with lots of queues.

Watched Alita: Battle Angel and it was AMAZING.

Posted a really long How to Train Your Dragon queue for no particular reason.

Continued to dread Endgame.

Watched Endgame. Stayed in denial.

Fell behind on Ninjago seasons.

Watched the Voltron and Ninjago blogs I follow fade into inactivity until I was left with nothing but gifs of Endgame and my own sadness.

Kept the charade going until the summer of 2019 hit and I realized that I'm doing out of obligation what should be for fun.

I don't really know how to state this in a kind way, but neither the circumstances that brought me here nor the conditions that kept me here exist any longer. This is a fandom blog, and it's a tough break when you've fallen either out of step or out of love with your fandoms. Keeping up the queue is the only way that my blog stays active on my work days, but it isn't fun. This blog stays inactive because upkeeping it is a chore—a chore that I keep putting off, and a chore that no one asked me to do.

2 Timothy 2:20-21 says, “In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.”

I never really understood that. What does Paul have against common things? Does he have beef with clay? But I think I get it now—it's a simple matter of removing clutter. Cleaning out what's unnecessary so that the only things that remain are the best ones.

I'm not leaving tumblr because I have any anger against the site or any one person or fandom or whatever. I'm not leaving because something cataclysmic happened, or because I was abducted by aliens and their planet has bad wifi. I'm leaving because I've had some time to think, and I've decided that it's for my best mental health that I leave this chapter behind. Plain and simple.

Those who know me personally probably know that my prayer for 2019 has been centered around a single word: Restoration. The past few years have been hard ones for me, and it's time to rebuild and restore what's been broken. Sometimes repairing a house means tearing out the moldy walls first. Sometimes being your best self means eliminating distractions.

Because that's what these are—distractions, layered on distractions. Marvel distracted me from the real world, and Voltron distracted me between Marvel movies, and Ninjago distracted me when Voltron turned sour. When those fell through, I turned to old fandoms to distract myself. And when I finally extricated myself from that mess, made amends with some people, looked up, and faced my situation for what it is, I realized that it's not something I can maintain.

I'll still keep the blog up. I won't deactivate it, because deactivated blogs make me sad and wonder if there's some tragedy here that I don't know about. Especially since the platonic prompts post continues to make rounds, I want people to be able to come back to this blog if they wish and see what the original poster was like—someone who loves friendship in fandoms, celebrates it, and spent two years creating a safe haven of nothing but positive, pro-bromance content. If this blog was ever a safe haven for anybody, I want them to still have it available in its entirety. Even if it should never have been work, I did work hard on this. I don't want that to go to waste.

As for those I follow, there will still be some blogs that I check on from time to time—particularly the ones that my personal friends run—but I likely won't be interacting with the posts. If you know me in real life, you can still contact me through email or my fanfiction account. I'll be there.

But starting today, I'm taking the tumblr app off of my phone. I might come back sometime, but I don't see it happening. No offense or hard feelings to anybody—I'm just done for now.

If I ever made anyone smile, I think this would all be worth it. If I made someone laugh, or think, or cry, or if I inspired them to write something or draw something or create something that had never existed before, I think it would all be worth it. If I can truly say that I was a positive Christian influence in my short time here—that I touched somebody—I think it would be worth it.

After all, life isn't about followers. It's about friends. It isn't about notes. It's about whose lives you touched, whose day you made just a little bit better. And I know that all of you (except for the pornbots) are real people, and I want you to know that, to the best of my ability, I care about every single one of you. I want all of you to live happy lives, and I hope that God makes Himself very, very real to you and fills you with a love that words can't explain and a joy that our hearts can't contain and a hope that our minds can't imagine in our wildest dreams.

I wish all 119 of you well. I wish everyone who has ever crossed my path through this blog well. I hope I could make you smile. It's been fun, and I've met some great people and made some wonderful friends, and I'm glad to have been here.

Thank you to my friends. Thank you to anyone who ever liked or reblogged my art. Thank you to everyone who reblogs the platonic prompts post—it's just over 3,000 notes as I write this, which is about the size of my church, and while that isn't terribly a lot I guess it's still wild to think about.

I especially want to thank the Ninjago community for always being so enthusiastic, warm, and wholesome my whole time on this website, from giving me my first 100 notes on the Dr. Julien headcanon post just a few days into my time here to your staggering and sincere support of Grass Whistle a year later. Never stop being your wonderful selves—it was wonderful to interact with all of you.

Thanks for the memories. I mean that.

Here's a picture of one of my hermit crabs, Clover, on a tiny boat I got in Michigan. Peace out!

—Sincerely, EA

[thdorkmagnet]

Light of the Sun and Stars Chapter 13: Questions with No Answers

Summary: His whole life Marco Diaz has been raised by monsters, living under the cruel rule of their leader, Toffee. But one day Marco escapes into Mewni where he meets a magical princess and Mewman like himself, who begins teaching him all about her world. Together they will learn about life, love, and the lights within each of them, as they change their world forever.

Chapter Synopsis: Marco, now desperate for answers about the truth the Monsters hid from him, begins trying to find out what he can. That is until he learns of an odd word that everyone seems weird about discussing with him. So the big question is what is a “kiss”?

Check out my other stuff on Fanfiction! 

Disclaimer: Star vs and all its characters are owned by Daron Nefcy and Disney. All rights go to them.

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“Mr. Candle?” Marco called, banging his fist as firmly against the door as he could in an attempt to draw the make-shift counselor out of his office. “Mr. Candle I really need to speak to you! It's important!” the boy tried again, but there was no response and Marco sighed in defeat.

“Where is he?” Marco asked himself, before noticing the note hanging above the door, reading : Gone away on important business. Will return indefinitely. The boy sighed loudly. “What does that even mean?” he asked, feeling at a loss of what to do now. He had really needed some guidance, his life feeling way too complicated right now without Mr. Candle's help.

First, there was the monsters and whatever checkered past everyone seemed to be keeping secret from him. It was getting harder and harder not to tell somebody about the incident, his mind almost constantly plagued by his troubling thoughts, always fearful someone would discover the truth. But the boy had no idea where to even begin to unravel the mystery and make sense of the disjointed puzzle pieces, his only hope being that somehow Mr. Candle might be able to help him out, the boy willing to include him in on his secret if it meant figuring all this out. But it seemed like it was a dead end, the boy now back to square one with no backup plan to go off of.

And then, there was Star. It had been a few days since the Orphan's Ball and the last he had really seen of the girl had been that long, disheartening confession about her past suffering, not exactly the most pleasant memory shared with his bestie. Though she didn't seem torn up over it anymore (which he was grateful for) she had seemed awfully distant of late, as she had seemed to throw herself into her work with raw determination, which Marco should be proud of her for, if it wasn't for the fact that if Marco didn't know any better he would swear she was avoiding him. Which he was starting to wonder if she was, the little time the two shared together Star kept herself at a distance, very rarely making eye contact and seeming like she was forcing her voice to sound more formal and uptight around him. He didn't mention it, partially because he thought it might all be in his head and partially because he figured if she was acting that way it was only because she was feeling awkward after telling him her darkest secret. So now Marco wasn't sure what to do or say or even if he should do or say anything, terrified he might set her off again or make it worse.

Marco sighed loudly as he walked off down the hall, looking defeated as he buried his hands in his hood pockets, his eyes glazed over with depression, that was until he spotted a girl a short distance away. She was leaning out a window, looking through a pair of binoculars with a smile on her face. Marco curious, decided to stand beside her, his eyes following her own lingering gaze, as he realized he was looking out into the lush palace gardens, feeling quite surprised when he spotted Star talking to the gardener about something. Confused, he tried to see any other points of interest below, but the girl was definitely watching Star, her gaze matching up with her perfectly. “Oh my gosh, are you Marco?” The boy swerved as he saw that the girl had finally noticed him next to her, lowering the binoculars enough so that Marco was finally able to get a good look at her.

The girl in front of him was not a maid or servant, at least not one he had ever seen. She was a teenager, about Marco's age, with short black hair done up in twin ponytails, a pair of obviously fake horns pocking up at the top of her head. She wore thick, red wire-framed glasses, her eyes shining with wonder as she stared at Marco with huge grin on her face, showing off her braces. Her face was covered in small heart dots, though Marco couldn't tell if they were stickers or some kind of Mewman-based acne, her real purple hearts contorting as she gave the boy a wide, creepy grin. She wore a plain purple t-shirt with fake wings glued to her back, a little star printed on the front, a blue skirt and dark purple leggings, matched with a pair of purple sneakers.

“Umm, yes. Who are you?” he asked, cautiously looking her up and down.

“Oh my gosh,” the girl replied, pulling a camera out of nowhere and taking a picture of Marco, rendering the boy blind for a moment as the flash made Marco flinch at the sudden intrusion on his senses. “I can't believe Star took another one of them in, I mean she's just the coolest!” she continued, looking at the digital render of the photo on her camera.

Marco rubbed his eyes, trying to clear his vision, before staring at the girl with a lost look. “What are you-”

“And look,” the girl said, turning the camera so Marco could now see the digital photos as she sorted through them. “I have a whole bunch of pictures of you with Star, like this one,” the camera showed a picture of Marco trying on one of his prized hoodies, Star giving him an approving smile, a sloth taking his measurements behind him, though part of the picture was obscured by what seemed to be a piece of fabric in the way.

“Wait was that in Quest Buy?” Marco asked in shock.

“Uh huh,” the girl replied, before flipping to another picture. “Oh, oh, here's one with you in it.” The girl was right, Marco was in this shot as well, collapsed into Star's arms holding her tightly as behind them a group of panicked guards tried to put out a flaming corn field. Again the picture was slightly obscured, this time by what seemed to be the inside of a bush.

But before Marco had a chance to comment the girl had already gone on to the next picture. “And here's one of you two hugging, and here's another one of you two hugging, and here's well... you're hugging in most of them.” Marco blinked as picture after picture flashed by on the small screen, every single one showing Star and Marco together (hugging mostly) and all of them either blocked by something or far out of range, as if the girl was taking them from odd locations.  

“How did you get all of these?” Marco asked, trying to recount ever seeing the complete stranger in front of him before.

“Oh I sneak in here all the time,” she said simply, never taking her eyes off her camera as she continued to flip through picture after picture.

“But aren't there guards and stuff?”

“Yeah, but I can sneak past them pretty easily, I have all of their routines completely memorized, as well as Star's complete princess schedule. It's really nothing for Star's biggest fan. I mean they don't call me StarFan13 for nothing.”

Star has fans, Marco thought. And one of them actually calls herself StarFan13? But what he actually said was, “Isn't that kinda dangerous?”

The fan girl shrugged. “It's worth the risk to get to see Star.”

Unfortunately, as strange as it was, Marco was inclined to agree, guards or not, he would do pretty much anything himself if it was for Star. Still this did seem a bit weirder considering Star wasn't aware of the almost constant presence following her all through her day it seemed. “Does Star know about this?” Marco asked.

“Of course! Star knows everything!” the girl replied with admiration, looking up some from her camera as her eyes twinkled. This did ease Marco's mind a little.

“Wait look!” StarFan screamed, grabbing onto Marco and pulling him closer so he could see what she was seeing, the two now watching as Star used her wand to try and repair a couple of flowers and plants that had apparently been destroyed, Marco noticing that the spot looked like the same one he and Star had been at the night of the dance. The girl took this opportunity to snap a couple of pictures of Star's incredible display, Marco's eyes just shining in admiration as his bestie confidently waved her wand, instantly repairing all damages done to the flora around her.

“Wow, Star is so amazing!” Marco sighed.

“Oh my gosh, yes! And now I have even more pictures of Star using her magic!”

“Can I see?” Marco asked excitedly, holding out a hand for the camera. StarFan nodded vigorously, handing over the camera.

“Sure just be careful not to-” There was a bright flash, Marco screaming as he went blind once again, nearly losing hold of the camera. “-blind yourself,” she finished needlessly.

Marco waited until his vision cleared, before looking over all the photos, impressed with how many shots he was able to take of his bestie. “Wow these are all really good, StarFan!” He paused, the name still sounding somewhat fake and strange to him. But he quickly snapped out of it, as soon as the next picture rendered. “Oooh, here's one of the dance!” Marco's eyes shined as he stared at a picture of him and Star all dressed up, twirling around the room, a bright light making both of them glow, the smile on Star's face, making Marco's whole chest flutter. “Wow, she looks so beautiful,” he said to himself, more than to the fan girl looking over his shoulder.

“That is one of my absolute favorite pieces,” StarFan said, proudly. “See everyone else got their pictures from their magic mirrors, but I actually got mine in real life.”

“Well, it all looks great!” Marco praised, handing the camera back over to the hyper girl. “You've got a picture of pretty much everything here.”

“Awww, that's so sweet of you to say,” StarFan said blushing. “Now all I need is one of you and Star kissing and my collection will pretty much be complete!”

Marco blinked. Kiss? “What's that?” Marco asked the girl, his curiosity peaked. He was sure he had never heard the word before, but it sounded like it was something he should be doing with Star.

StarFan's mouth dropped open in shock, leaning in super close to the boy, making him feel instantly unsettled. “Oh my gosh, you don't know what that is?!” she asked, unable to hide her joy as her eyes started to shimmer, Marco practically able to see the wheels turning in her head.

“Ummm, no...” he asked hesitantly, feeling put-off by the girl's bizarre behavior. “Should I?”

Before StarFan could respond, the two teens heard the sound of shuffling feet, echoing off the cold stone steps, and a voice yell, “I think she went this way?!”

“She's not getting away this time!” another voice shouted, sounding close. There was a short moment of silence between the two, as Marco and StarFan shared a quick look, the fan girl still ridiculously close to the boy, who was leaning back awkwardly. Then suddenly she shouted, “Gotta go!” snapping another picture of the boy, the boy going blind for the third time that day, rubbing his eyes as he tried to clear his vision.

Meanwhile, StarFan13 quickly ran over to the nearest laundry shoot, throwing it open and jumping down, sliding all the way to the subbasement, where no doubt Sir Lavabo would be awaiting her for three o'clock tea.

The guards finally made it around the corner, Dex (who was in the lead) took the opportunity to pounce the intruder, knocking both of them to the ground, the trespasser releasing a girlie scream on the way down. “Ha,” the guard gloated his victory, turning his captive over onto their back, grinning ear to ear with satisfaction. “We got you this time, you little- MARCO?!”

Dex did a double take as he saw not the face of their frequent girl intruder, but instead the princess' young hoodie wearing friend, looking dizzy and dazed from getting thrown uncomfortably to the ground. Jak and the rest of the guards caught up with their companion, Jak's mouth dropping open in shock. “Marco! You're the intruder!”

Dex sighed, face-palming. “No, Jak, we got the wrong person,” he explained, standing to his feet and helping the flustered boy up. “Sorry about that, Marco. We thought you were someone else.” He tried to dust the boy off as best as he could, Marco just blinking as he tried to get his still-spotty vision back.

“Ugh, what hit me?” he asked groggily, rubbing the back of his head tenderly.

“Dex did,” Jak explained, his fellow guard shooting him a glare.

“Did you happen to see a young girl pass through here?” another guard asked the flustered boy.

“Ummm...” Marco considered telling the guards the truth but thought better of it, not wanting to get the girl in any trouble. “No. Haven't seen anyone. Just been standing here, alone, in this hallway... all by myself.” He gave them a wide grin, chuckling nervously, every guard raising their eyebrows suspiciously, except for Jak who simply nodded in understanding. “Okay let us know if you see anything,” he said.

“Well,” Dex sighed. “Looks like we'll just have to continue our search elsewhere. Come on, guys.”

With that, the guards marched off, preparing to search another part of the castle, leaving Marco on his own. He looked out the window surprised to see Star had already left, the gardener returning to his normal tasks, the royal moving on to her next pressing matter. His thoughts were blubbing around in his head, trying to make sense of the new word the girl had mentioned to him. What was a kiss anyways? He felt a need to know, needed at least one of his pestering questions to finally be answered. If he couldn't learn anything else that day, at least he could find out what that word meant. Marco smiled to himself.

And he knew just the person to ask.

…

“What's a kiss?”

Jackie did a spit take, spewing her drink half-way across the room, Marco flinching at the strange reaction from his normally calm skater friend. She coughed for a second trying to clear her tight airways, her face the picture of startled. “W-What?!” Jackie managed to cough out. The two had sat down for a quick bite to eat at Marco's favorite restaurant, the hooded boy asking her if he could talk to her about something, alone. Or, more specifically, without Janna, the hooded boy concerned about how his creepy friend would react to his question, even though it seemed he should have been more concerned about how Jackie would react. Then again he had blurted it out the second the two had gotten comfortable, his bad timing putting Jackie half-way between a gulp of water, making her choke on her drink from the unexpected question.

“A-A kiss,” Marco repeated, leaning a little away from the white-haired girl, looking both confused and a little grossed out by her reaction.

“Umm,” the two turned to see Kelly standing over their table, holding a tray of food, giving Jackie a concerned look. “Is everything alright here?”

“Yeah, we're fine. Thanks Kelly,” the boy responded cheerfully, Jackie still too busy coughing to answer.

“Really?” Kelly said, raising an eyebrow at the boy. “Cause your friend just sprayed one of the other customers.” The girl pointed to a dripping wet Mewman behind her, both Marco and Jackie giving her sheepish looks.

“Miss!” the Mewman yelled to Kelly. “Towel please!”

“In a second, sir,” Kelly politely responded, shooting him a smile before turning back to her two friends.

“Sorry for the trouble,” Jackie apologized, having finally gotten her throat clear.

“Yeah, it was more my fault than anything,” Marco added, rising from his seat and grabbing his napkin. “If you want I can help you-”

Kelly silenced him, grabbing onto the boy's arm. “That's not necessary. Cleaning up other people's messes is my job. Just maybe be a little more careful next time, okay?” She eyed them both, questioningly. Jackie and Marco nodded, the boy taking his seat once again.

“Misssss!” the customer yelled rudely, quickly becoming upset at being ignored. “Towel?!”

Kelly rolled her eyes. “Unbelievable, some people,” she muttered under her breath, before turning back to the customer with a smile. “I will be with you in just a moment, sir. A little patience, please.”

“But I'm soaking wet!”

“And I'm in the middle of a conversation,” she responded, her voice losing some of its sweetness. “So please wait your turn.” The man crossed his arms, huffing with annoyance.

“Not much for customer service, are you?” Jackie asked, trying to hide her smile.

“Well it has been a day,” Kelly sighed, leaning against the table. “And despite the fact that both me and Tad technically work here, I always end up covering his shift for him.”

“Where is Tad?” Marco asked, looking around.

“Same place he always is,” Kelly said, her eyes jumping up to the top of her head, Jackie and Marco just now noticing the snoring face of Kelly's boyfriend.

“You could always wake him up, y'know,” Jackie pointed out.

“Yeah I know, but he's so adorable when he's sleeping,” Kelly said, with a loving sigh. “Besides at this rate, I'll be promoted to head chef in no time.”

“Wait, you're a cook!” Marco shouted, excitedly.

“Yep,” Kelly said, proudly. “Someday soon... hopefully. I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with rude customers like that guy.” She pointed behind her.

“I can still hear you!” the Mewman yelled with annoyance.

“Mind your own business!” the girl shot back.

“H-Huh?” Tad groggily said, all the yelling waking him from his slumber. “What's up, babe? Is our shift over?”

“No, Tad,” Kelly said sweetly, shooting her boyfriend a sugary smile. “Just some jerky customer.”

“HEY!” the customer screamed.

“Want me to take care of it for you, so you can talk to your friends,” Tad offered, the two ignoring the Mewman's outburst.

“Really, would you?” Kelly asked, with a relived sigh.

“Sure, babe. Anything for you.” With that, Tad floated off to try and console the angered customer.

“So anyways, what were you two talking about?” Kelly asked, taking the opportunity of a break to get a quick sip of water.

“Oh right,” Marco said, regaining focus on their conversation once again. “I was just asking Jackie what a kiss was.”

Kelly spit out her drink, coating the already soaked Mewman with more liquid, as Tad needlessly tried to dab it up with a towel. “Oh come on!!” the man screamed, rising out of his seat and sloshing out of the restaurant.

But the attention returned to the skater once again, as the door slammed shut and Tad went back to moping up the mess, both teens eyes digging into her skin, awaiting her answer. “Well...” Jackie started, trying to think of the best way to respond.

“Don't you think you're asking the wrong person?” Kelly pointed out, interrupting Jackie. The white-haired girl gave her a questioning look, until the other shot her a wink.

“What do you mean?” Marco asked, not seeing the little exchange between the girls.

“Well, no offense to Jackie or anything, but this just seemed like something you would be asking Star,” Kelly said with a shrug.

“You think?” Marco asked, cocking his head to the side.

“She does have a point,” Jackie said, playing along. “She would explain it much better than I ever could.”

“Well I was going to ask her,” the boy explained. “But she's been so busy lately.”

“Come on, she can't work twenty-four seven. Isn't there some time you two could just sit and talk?” Kelly asked.

Marco thought for a moment, before realization hit him, jumping out of his seat and slamming his hands down on the table. “What time is it?!” Marco asked, looking between the two girls quickly, who had leaned back away from the table and were giving him confused looks from his sudden outburst. Kelly partially recovered, as she pulled out her cell phone, checking the time. “Umm, almost seven,” she said.

“It'll be sunset soon,” Jackie added, catching on what Marco was onto.

“I gotta go,” Marco said hurriedly, excusing himself as he headed for the door.

“Wait, you haven't even ordered anything yet!” Kelly yelled after the boy.

“No time!” Marco shouted back, not even bothering to look back. The rushing boy slammed the door to the restaurant open, which accidentally knocked into one of the empty outside tables, sending one of the discarded drinks flying, where it landed directly in the face of the same drenched Mewman from before. Marco yelled a quick apology over his shoulder, his eyes on the darkening sky in front of him and his thoughts on Star. The victimized Mewman released a loud scream, yelling in frustration, “That's it! I'm going back to the Kingdom of Unlikely Spider Bites, where it's safe!” With that the frustrated Mewman stormed away, leaving a trail of liquefied footprints in his wake.

Meanwhile, inside Jackie and Kelly just stared at the restaurant door, Kelly in clear shock. “Well that was certainly strange, even for Marco,” Kelly said, trying to break the tension. “Where's he off to in such a hurry?”

“He and Star meet up every evening to watch the sunset together,” Jackie explained.

“Aww,” Kelly cooed. “How romantic. No one wonder he took off in such a hurry.”

“Yep,” Jackie agreed. “But do me a favor and don't mention our little conversation to Janna.”

Kelly hesitated before answering. “Wellll, that's gonna be a little bit difficult,” she finally said, shooting the skater a guilty look.

Jackie gave her hairy friend a blank stare, before saying in an unamused tone. “She's been here the whole time, hasn't she?”

“Yep!” Janna said, setting down in the seat next to Jackie's with a smirk, putting her feet up on the table and leaning precariously back in the chair. “She has.”

“You were spying on us,” Jackie said, in a scolding tone, which caused Janna to scoff.

“Not much spying needed. I could hear you three from the other side of the restaurant,” she said, munching on a breadstick.

“So I suppose you want me to give you the twenty bucks right now,” Jackie said.

“You could,” Janna said with an unamused shrug. “Or we could go see how our little set-up pays off.”

Jackie gave the smirking girl a level-headed stare, the two matching wits for a moment, before Jackie questioned, “Ours?”

“Who do you think told me to come over here in the first place?” Kelly pointed out, putting a hand on her hips, Jackie shooting Janna a glare. “Which by the way, about my payment?” Kelly added, with a hinting tone.

“No worries, Kells. I'll get you that forbidden recipe you asked for,” Janna said, shooting the green-haired girl a reassuring smile.

“Uh babe, little help?” Tad called, surrounded by hungry customers all begging and demanding supplement from the usually chill hair, who was now feeling overwhelmed with too much responsibility.

“Welp, duty calls,” Kelly said to the two, confidently pulling out her pen and paper with a flourish. “So will you be taking your order to go, ladies?”

Jackie and Janna shared a look, the creepy girl giving her reluctant roommate a shrug, letting her know it was her call. Jackie took a deep breath, before giving the young waitress her answer.

...

The sun had already begun to set as Marco made it up to the large balcony he and Star always met at, surprised to see the girl already there. Star seemed like she was in a daze, her eyes lost in the bright red of the evening sky, never even turning to indicate she heard him as he approached. “Hey Star!” he greeted, placing a hand on her shoulder. She screamed smacking his hand away and turning, wand already glowing with magic energy. But upon seeing the startled face of her bestie, she instantly dropped her guard, putting a hand to her pounding heart.

“Marco, please don't sneak up on me like that!” she managed to choke out, in between gasps of breath.

“S-Sorry,” Marco apologized, still slightly unnerved by Star's reaction. “Your getting better with it, though,” he added and Star gave him a quizzical look.

“Better with what?”

“Your wand,” he explained, pointing at the magical device. “You seem a lot more confident with it now.”

Star gave him a shy smile, immediately hiding the heirloom inside her cloud purse. “Well I don't know if I'd say that,” she muttered, her cheeks just barely tinted pink, giving a nervous shrug. But she was rendered speechless as Marco took her hands into his own, giving her a smile that sent shivers down her spine. “I would,” he said softly, his bright brown eyes staring deep into her own, making her whole heart flutter. Knock it off, Star, she mentally scolded herself. Before he catches on.

“Thanks,” she squeaked with embarrassment, trying to will her blush away, but it only made it worsen as Marco took the seat next to her, Star able to feel the warmth coming off of him, just the slightest bit of space between them... Stop, she reminded herself, trying to convince her heart to slow it's pulse to a more normal level.

She had been like this ever since the other night, since she realized her feelings toward her bestie, every little interaction from the boy leaving her a nervous, fluttering mess. She had done her best to keep a distance from him, well as much as she could from her super clingy Marco, still feeling unsure with all the new (or perhaps they were old) emotions she now had toward her best friend. Oskar's words never once left her mind, his suggestion to tell the boy outright making her feel lost. She did want to tell him, now that she knew her feelings for him were real, but she wasn't sure how. She was having trouble working up the nerve to do so, her constant blushing and fast-beating heart making it very difficult to say anything around him now, much less confessing she had a giant crush on him.

Still he didn't seem to notice, acting like his normal, cheerful self as he settled himself down next to her, his eyes shining as he stared at the red, fast-darkening sky before him, his hand absentmindedly landing on her own, making Star's whole arm tingle with the sensation of his soft skin. But she made no move to stop him, just letting herself enjoy the moment, her heart slowing a little as the two just watched the sunset in silence.

What Star didn't notice was Marco kept casting glances at her every so often, trying to work up the nerve to ask her the one question that was on his mind, wanting to avoid Jackie's reaction if at all possible, best to ease her into it gently. The problem was, he had no idea how to go about doing that.

Finally, he took a deep breath. “Star?”

Star jumped at the sound of her name, turning to see Marco staring at her with a questioning gaze and she felt her heart thump away in her chest once again, threatening to escape her small frame. “Y-Yes?”

“So, I met someone today, a girl, StarFan13, she said she knew you,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Oh yeah,” Star said thoughtfully, nodding, remembering her biggest fan who she often caught sneaking into the castle, she was sweet and well-meaning but she could come on a little strong to people who didn't know her all that well. Star hoped she hadn't been too much for Marco. “I do know her,” she hesitantly admitted. “She can be a bit...” Star bit her lip, trying to think of the best way to phrase it. “Crazy. I hope she didn't act too wild.”

Marco shook his head. “Nah. She was pretty cool, actually,” he admitted with a shrug. “Strangeee, but cool.”

Star smiled. Of course he liked her, Star thought, remembering that Marco was always friendly and open-minded, if a bit shy, towards others. Should have never have doubted him.

“Anyway, she said something to me and I wanted to ask you what it meant,” he continued slowly, looking anxious about telling the girl, Star able to feel his fingers nervously twitching from on top of her own.

Oh no, Star thought, feeling slightly concerned. Could she have told him about Star's crush? She did always seem to know everything about Star, a fact she would not hesitate to point out. Or worse, could she have told him something about the monsters? Though if she had, she doubted Marco would be acting like his usual, cheerful self. “O-Okay, shoot,” she said, with a tiny nod, a lump implanting itself tightly at the back of her throat. The boy took a deep breath, obviously preparing himself to ask the question, Star unknowingly holding her own.

“I was wondering what a kiss was?” he explained, keeping a close eye on her for any negative or strange reaction. But the girl had no reaction at all, her whole body freezing up, her eyes wide, but blank, and her mouth sealed shut. She was obviously not expecting the question, as her whole face grew redder than his hoodie.

“W-What?!” she finally stuttered, her face retaining its red hue.

“Umm, a kiss,” he tried again, sounding even less sure now than before. “She asked me if I had kissed anyone yet, and I wasn't sure what she meant by it.” He purposely left out the part about Star, unsure about mentioning it to her for some reason. There was an awkward pause as Star just stared at him blankly. “Sooo, do you know what it means?” he pressed, feeling awkward and impatient in a strange mix.

“Y-Yeah, right,” Star finally said, recovering some from her initial shock, managing to will her blush away some and form comprehensible words once more, trying not to act too thrown off guard by the unexpected question. “It's when two people put their lips up against one another,” she quickly added, mentally trying to calm her racing heart.

Marco's mouth dropped open, his eyes wide with fear. “Does it... hurt?” he asked, with concern and Star couldn't help but laugh at his cuteness, feeling some of the awkwardness fading some as a familiar warmth filled her insides.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “It's supposed to feel good, actually. It's a way for people to show how much they care.”

“Oh,” was all Marco said, his brain trying to wrap itself around this new information. “Have you ever kissed anyone before?” he finally asked, his brown eyes studying her face quizzically, making it hard for her to breath.

Star hesitated, before answering. “No, I haven't actually.”

“Why is that?” Marco asked, sounding genuinely confused and Star merely shrugged in response.

“Haven't found the right person yet,” she answered, while in her head she added, Except for you, but I'm too afraid to ask. Star grew quiet after that, trying not to think of how much she wanted to kiss him right then, the urge almost overwhelming as her gaze remained trapped within Marco's bright brown eyes, feeling a pull toward him and his soft, smiling lips, already beginning to close the distance between them. But she finally regained control of herself, pulling away from him quickly and turning back out to the fast-setting sun, her smile dropping instantly, feeling anger at herself, though she was unsure what she was more upset about: the fact that she had just tried to kiss her friend or the fact that she hadn't had the guts to go through with it.

Marco took a long look at his bestie, unable to stop himself from worrying over her and her strange behavior. Maybe it was just him, but a second ago, she had seemed like she was leaning in toward him. But before she could go through with whatever it was, she had instead turned away, pulling her hand out of his grasp and refusing to meet his eyes, staring out at the sun with a troubled look in her own eyes, leaving Marco concerned she was upset. “Star?” he said, trying to regain her attention, but she didn't even turn her head in his direction.

“The sunset is really beautiful tonight, huh?” she whispered nervously, giving a little awkward chuckle, obviously trying to change the subject, Marco instantly feeling his heart pound in response. She was upset. But why? Was it because he had asked about the kiss? Was she sad because she had never gotten one? It was obviously something special, considering how all the girl's had reacted at the mere mention of the act, was Star feeling hurt and unappreciated because no one had given her one yet? Marco definitely didn't want her to feel that way, she was so special and amazing, and she deserved to know that.

“Star?” Marco said again, softer than before, this time managing to capture the girl's attention as she looked over to him. And as the two locked gaze once more, Marco found himself lost in his friend's  bright, blue orbs, as a gentle breeze sent her golden hair tumbling behind her, the light of the red sky reflecting off of it beautifully, making his heart skip a beat.

“What is it, Marco?” Star asked, stunned by the determination she saw in his eyes. But he didn't answer, instead taking in a deep, shaky breath before he leaned in toward her, closing the distance between them completely.

Time seemed to slow as Marco's lips enclosed around Star's, the girl's eyes widening in surprise, unable to believe that this was really happening to her, that her best friend, her crush, her Marco was kissing her. It felt unreal, almost like some big dream. But dream or not, Star couldn't deny it felt amazing, loving every second of the breathtaking experience, relishing in the taste of Marco's lips against her own. And so rather than fight it, she gave in, closing her eyes and losing herself to the new and wonderful experience.

Marco as well, was loving every second of the kiss, that same, warm emotion that he had been feeling for weeks, now spread through him, making his whole body tingle and his heart feel like it might burst with joy. He felt amazing, his every nerve alive and super-charged, his brain sluggish and slow, unable to function as Star's lips began to move gently against his own. Both were so caught up in their combined act that neither noticed their twin hearts and suns simultaneously glow white, the bright light matching that of the forgotten sunset behind them.

Finally, after what felt to the two like a lifetime, Star pulled away, putting a hand to her tingling lips, her eyes wide and her cheeks still blushing bright red. As the two separated, their cheek marks returned to their normal hue, both too dazed by what just transpired to even notice. For a few glorious seconds, they just stared at each other, a million emotions flowing through both of their startled bodies at once.

But Star recovered first (kinda), asking in a breathless daze, “What was that?!”

“I-” Marco started, but found his throat too tight to continue, his eyes wider than ever, just staring at Star's blushing face, completely stunned, all his startled brain able to think, was how great that kiss had felt and how much he wanted to do it again. “You said you'd never had one, so I just thought...”

Star was stupefied, unable to believe that that had actually just happened. Marco had just kissed her! After all that time of fighting the urge, Marco had been the one to make the first move. It felt crazy, it felt insane, it had to be a dream. And yet, the tingling in her lips and pounding in her heart seemed to prove that all of this was real. Marco was her first kiss! She felt overwhelmed, her heart threatening to overflow with all the emotions running rampant through her fragile body. She needed to get away, needed time to think and work out her feelings and slow her racing heart and she couldn't do that with the boy's bright stare burning into her skin. Without even thinking, she jumped to her feet, keeping her eyes off of the boy as she muttered with embarrassment, “I-I have to go. It's getting late. See you tomorrow.”

Before the boy could even respond, the girl turned and ran, disappearing from view as she exited off the balcony, leaving the flustered boy alone with his thoughts.

He hesitated for a moment, maybe two, his legs so wobbly and unstable it took him a bit before he was able to stand again, as he started off after the girl, her reaction unexpected and slightly confusing to the boy. Was that a normal way girls acted after you kissed them? Regardless if it was, he needed to catch up to her and make sure everything was okay.

“Marco.” Marco froze instantly recognizing the voice behind him, as he slowly turned, shocked as he looked into the three familiar faces he had been sure he would never see again. There, hovering over him, was Beard Deer, Bearicorn, and Spikeballs, who were all giving him elated smiles.

“Guys!” Marco screamed, throwing his around the nearest monster he could find, which turned out to be Beard Deer, all thoughts ceasing in that moment, the boy just overjoyed to see his family once more. “I can't believe you're all here! How did you even find me?”

Beard Deer lovingly ruffled Marco's hair, as he simply answered, “We'd never let you go so easily.”

But the sweet moment ended, as Marco backed away, feeling guilty, the three monsters sharing a look of concern, upon seeing the Mewman's sad face. “Marco, are you okay?” Bearicorn asked.

“I'm... I'm sorry,” Marco muttered, keeping his eyes on the floor rather than them, trying to hide his rising tears. “Please don't hate me. I didn't mean to leave. I-”

“It's okay, Marco,” Beard Deer interrupted, putting a claw on his shoulder and bending down so he was level with the boy. “We're not angry with you.”

Marco sniffed, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his sleeve, looking up at the monster with hopeful eyes. “Really?”

“Of course not,” Bearicorn supplied. “It's not your fault Buff Frog teamed up with the Mewmans to kidnap you.”

Marco took a step back, pulling out of Beard Deer's grasp, giving all three a confused look. “What?” he squeaked, feeling a nervous energy begin to build inside him. What were they talking about? “That's not... what...” His voice drifted off, his mind tumbling as he tried to make sense of it all.

“Look it's okay, everything will be alright,” Beard Deer said with a reassuring smile. “We're here to take you back now.”

The deer monster took a step closer, reaching out a claw, but Marco stepped back, shaking his head, shocking the three monsters, Beard Deer freezing in place. “Marco?” Bearicorn whispered, his voice shaking slightly.

Marco flinched at the hurt tone, but made no move closer. He wasn't sure what he should do, suddenly overwhelmed with decisions he didn't want to have to make. If he went back that would mean facing Toffee, Marco felt his gut clench of the thought of seeing the lizard again. And if he left, he would never see Star or the others again, that realization followed by an even tighter twist to his insides. But still, he didn't want to hurt his family. They were important to him, he had been missing them so badly, more than he had even realized. They just seemed to have their story mixed up a little, maybe if he could clear all this up for them and help them realize it was just a big misunderstanding they would let him stay.

“Look, I appreciate you guys coming all the way out here for me,” the boy started, trying to keep his voice level and steady. “But I'm not in danger and I wasn't kidnapped. Buff Frog helped bring me here so I could meet the other Mewmans and now that I have I'm not sure if I want to leave. They're all really nice and... I met someone who I really don't want to leave.” Marco blushed at the last bit, his eyes twinkling like his bestie's namesake, as he thought of her and the kiss they had just shared. “Speaking of which I need to catch with her so...” He turned to leave, only to stop seeing Lobster Claws and Three Eyed Potato Baby behind him, blocking his exit. He felt his heart begin to pound in fear as his realized that the monsters had just purposely surrounded him, trapping him between them. But why? “Um, guys,” Marco said, trying to keep the nervous edge out of his voice. “What's going on?” He turned to Beard Deer for an explanation, but the monster in question refused to look at him, his eyes on the ground, his claws clenched into tight fists.

“So he was right after all,” the deer monster muttered and Marco felt his heart stop at the seriousness in his tone, all signs of friendliness gone from the group.

“Who was right?” the boy asked.

“Those rotten Mewmans actually hypnotized you with their magic, just like Toffee said,” Beard Deer continued.

“Hypnotized?” Marco whispered, his whole body trembling, taking a few steps away from the clearly upset monster. But the monsters just ignored the boy, all sharing looks with each other, an uncomfortable tension filling the area.

“What do we do?” Lobster Claws asked with clear concern, though he already knew the answer. They all did. Marco turned in the crustaceans direction, shooting him a pleading look, which the lobster did his best to ignore.

“We take him with us,” Beard Deer responded, his tone hard. Before Marco could even think about the statement, Beard Deer and Bearicorn surged forward, moving so quickly that Marco didn't even have time to scream before he was lifted off the ground held firmly up by the two strong monsters. Marco became frantic as the initial shock wore off, kicking his feet uselessly above the ground, trying to break free from their iron grasp. “Let me go!” the boy screamed, his mind screeching to him to get away and his heart pounding in agreement. Star. Jackie. Someone! Please come help me out of this!

The other monsters tried to shush the screaming child, looking around nervously, afraid he would attract the attention of the Mewmans. “Shhh, Marco, calm down,” Lobster Claws tried, but Marco was too panicked to listen.

“No! Help! Sta-!” the boy started to cry, but was quieted as Bearicorn reluctantly clapped a claw over his mouth, muffling the hooded boy's screams. The two tried to hold him as gently but firmly as possible without hurting him, but he was squirming so much they were having trouble keeping him in place.

“Marco, please,” Bearicorn begged the boy, feeling guilty for scaring him so much, even if he wasn't in his right mind. “Don't make this more difficult than it has to be.” But the boy continued to struggle, his muffled screams escaping from beneath the bear's paw as he desperately called out Star's name, hoping she would somehow hear him and come running, while in his mind he still couldn't believe any of this was real. One moment he had been sharing a blissful moment with his bestie, the next he was in a nightmarish situation as his own family turned on him, trying to kidnap him and forcefully drag him back to Toffee. With that thought, Marco struggled anew against the iron grasp that held him, as Beard Deer addressed the rest of the guilt-stricken monsters, trying to keep his own face from showing the hurt that was eating away at his insides, barking, “What are you idiots just standing there for, get that portal opened, asap!”

Suddenly there was a loud scream behind them, all the monster turning to see Spike Balls, collapse to the ground, as a beanie-wearing girl stood over him, her arms crossed as she glared at the group of monsters in front of her with no fear. The monsters were of course in shock at this new development, unable to believe that a tiny little girl had just knocked down their strongest monster in half a second, Marco stopped his struggling as he found himself unable to think of a time when he was happier to see his creepy friend, as Janna's eyes narrowed on the two monsters holding the boy. “Alright I'm gonna give you all two seconds to let go of my friend, before I start breaking bones,” she hissed, cracking her knuckles menacingly.

None of the monster knew how to react to that, the monsters holding Marco taking an uncomfortable step back, trying to keep their fear from showing, Marco feeling their grip tighten on him slightly. “Yeah, well, it's four against one, girlie, and you're outmatched,” Beard Deer stated, trying to keep his tone sharp, as he glared at the girl.

“Yeah,” Lobster Claws pitched in, side-stepping between the captive Marco and his rescuer, Three Eyed Potato Baby doing the same, as the crustacean snapped his claws at the imposing girl in a threatening manner. “So why don't you just turn around and pretend like you never saw us... or else.”

But Janna didn't seem at all frightened by the weak threat, as she clicked her tongue, shaking her head in disapproval, saying nonchalantly, “Guess I'm taking the 'or else'.” With that she began stepping closer, every step making the monsters more and more anxious. But their anxiety was quickly replaced with disbelief as the girl's body began to transform, her hair and fangs growing in length and her skin turning purple, her narrowed eyes glowing an alarmingly green color, digging into the monsters' skin and making them all shudder.

“She's an Impure,” Beard Deer said shakily, finally realizing the dire situation they had just found themselves in.

But Lobster Claws tried not to show fear as he surged forward with a yell trying to grab her with his pincers, but the girl side-stepped the attack, punching the crustacean right in the face, sending him flying backwards, the last thing the lobster thinking before he blacked was how strange it was that a girl that small could pack such a big punch. The other monsters were thinking the same thing, as they watched the lobster collapse to the floor, unconscious, the girl not even batting an eye as she turned back to the rest of the monsters with a hard glare, her eyes glowing a dark, evil green.

“Now let's try that again,” the half-monster hissed, her smirking, cocky nature fading as she glared glowing daggers of hate at the group in front of her, quickly losing patience with the annoying monsters. “Let Marco go or...” She  took a threatening step closer, every monster gulping in fear, but neither Beard Deer or Bearicorn released their hold on the boy, not even the threat of facing the terrifying Impure able to make them give up their young charge again.

Beard Deer looked over to Potato Baby, shouting, “What are you waiting for, idiot?! Get her!” The monster in question pointed at himself, with a look of fear, giving a confused garble. “Yes you!” Beard Deer barked, the intention in the monster's tone clearer than his words. “Keep her distracted so we can get Marco away!”

The potato-like monster turned to the girl with a new determination, willing to make the sacrifice for Marco. He stepped closer to the girl, vowing to not let her get the upper hand on him, giving a threatening and long-winded speech about protecting Marco and how he wouldn't fall so easily, which unfortunately only Marco could understand, Janna simply raising an eyebrow at the speech-inclined monster. “I have no idea what you just said,” she admitted. “But you're in my way so you need to move.” She got down into a fighting stance.

The monster gave a quick, declining garble.

“Okay that one I caught,” she said, before she took a quick swing at the monster, her opponent barely having time to duck out of the way to avoid the super-charged fist.

The fight continued, Potato Baby struggling to hold off the girl as she continued her assault doing his best to avoid her punches and kicks trying to stall for as long as he could, while meanwhile Beard Deer turned to Bearicorn in a panic. “Quick open up a portal, now!” he hissed and Marco started to struggle again, screaming for Janna from beneath the bear monsters paw, trying his best to stall for time. “Marco, please st- OW!”

Suddenly, Beard Deer felt a heavy weight smashing into the top of his head, releasing his hold on Marco as he collapsed to his knees with a scream. He turned, anger and rage fueling him as spotted another girl this one with white hair and freckles, determination shining in her eyes. But he barely had time to process this as she swung something at his face, the world disappearing in a flash of bright colors.

Jackie took a step back, panting, as the monster fell unconscious at her feet, trying to keep her nerve as she continued to hold her skateboard up like a make-shift bat. Bearicorn, who was now struggling to keep a good hold on Marco, holding the boy only by the paw clapped over his mouth, reached over and grabbed the girl's arm, pulling her closer and making her drop her skateboard. “Hey who do you think you are?!” he growled in anger, Jackie trying to pull her arm free from the monster's iron grasp, Marco feeling anger and fear as he helplessly watched his friend getting taken too.

The hooded boy didn't even hesitate as he stomped down as hard as he could on the unsuspecting monster's foot, ignoring the short spurt of regret as the bear cried out in pain, releasing both Marco and Jackie at once, grabbing onto his now throbbing foot tightly and hopping around the battlefield, all other thoughts forgotten as he continued to scream in pain, “Ow! Ow! Ow! Owwhh! My sensitive bear paws!”

The two teens seeing their chance, turned to one another as Jackie yelled, “We got to get inside!”

“What about Janna?!” Marco asked, his answer coming a second later as they heard a garbled, pain-filled yell behind them, followed by a crashing sound. “Never mind,” he corrected himself.

The two made a sprint for the door, Jackie only taking the time to grab her skateboard and tucking it securely under her arm. But this didn't go unnoticed as Bearicorn finally started to recover, the pain in his foot subsiding a little, as he spotted Marco and Jackie leaving. He growled again, about to chase after them, until he felt a tiny tap on his shoulder, turning in time to see the smirking Impure giving a little wave, her face almost friendly, her fangs gleaming in the starlight. “You don't want to do that,” she said, her voice hiding just a hint of a cryptic tone.

The monster panicked, cowering in front of her, begging, “I'm sorry! Please don't suck my blood!”

The girl sighed in annoyance, rolling her eyes, as she muttered, “Where did they even come up with that rumor? That's so disgusting.”

“Wait so you're not going to hurt me?” the monster asked, hopefully. But his fear returned as the girl gave him an evil smirk, leaning in a little closer to him.

“I didn't say that.”

Beard Deer and Lobster Claws sat up with equally pain-filled groans, both rubbing their sore heads tenderly, as they tried to make sense of their world once again. “Owww, did we win?”

Suddenly, they heard a loud scream, the two monsters shocked as the raised voice seemed to be getting closer, both turning to see Bearicorn hurtling at them, knocking into both monsters, all three laying in a pile on the floor, groaning in pain.

Janna wiped the dust off her hands, looking quite satisfied with the condition of her opponents, saying smugly, “Well that handles that.” She turned, checking on the condition of her friends, pleased  to see Marco and Jackie watching safely from the doorway of the balcony, Jackie making sure to keep Marco protectively behind her, before returning to the beaten monsters. “So, boys, round two or are we going to call it quits for tonight?”

Potato Baby who had finally regained consciousness, gave a quick persuasive argument via unintelligible garble. “What did he say?” Bearicorn asked the bruised crustacean currently crushing him with a strained tone.

“He said we should retreat for now,” Lobster Claws drunkenly relayed, his head still spinning from getting thrown about... twice.

“I'm with Potato Baby,” Spikeballs pitched in from his position on the floor, raising a spiked hand in the air to show his agreement with the plan.

“Okay fine,” Beard Deer said, pushing the other two monsters off of him so he could stand, rocking uncomfortably from side to side, as he tried to give the girl the most threatening look he could. “But don't think this is the last you'll be seeing of us. You can't hide the kid forever. Marco belongs to us and we will be taking him back.”

Janna said nothing, as the monsters hastily opened up a portal, shuffling uncomfortably through it, as they all disappeared within the swirling vortex, the girl not moving an inch until it closed for good. Finally, she turned, saying to her two friends as they approached, “So...” Her quizzical eyes landed on Marco who looked quite shaken by the events, his eyes filled with emotion, his face a guilty frown, keeping his eyes on the floor as tried his best to ignore both her and Jackie's equally questioning gaze. Finally he risked a look up, his eyes locking with Janna's as she raised an eyebrow at him. “Want to explain what all that was about?”

…

The five monsters panted as they all tried to catch their breath, all of them tenderly massaging their bruises, as they contemplated their failed mission. Beard Deer grunted loudly, slamming a clawed fist into the nearest wall. “Darn it! We were so close!” he shouted in frustration.

“What do we do now?” Lobster Claws asked, worriedly. “We can't just leave Marco there.”

“We're not going to,” Beard Deer said confidently, refusing to give up so easily, his fist shaking with anger.

“What do we tell Master Toffee?” Bearicorn asked.

The deer monster opened his mouth to respond, only to jump hearing a voice call from the shadows, “Tell me what, Bearicorn.”

Every monster turned in fear to see Toffee slither into view with a blank look, his eyes narrowing to slits on the monster he had questioned, who was becoming quite nervous with the killer's eyes on him and him alone. “T-That w-we...” Bearicorn stuttered, afraid of answering honestly.

“We failed,” Beard Deer finished for him, trying to keep his nerve as the lizard turned to him. “Marco refused to come with us, he's under their control just like you said.”

“Then why didn't you take him by force, like I told you you would need to,” Toffee said in a hard tone, Beard Deer almost able to see him smirking from beneath his passive mask.

Beard Deer kept his face emotionless at the comment, but his claws were clenching into fists as he answered, “We tried but some of the Mewmans got the drop on us.”

“One of them was an Impure,” Lobster Claws pitched in helpfully.

“Really,” Toffee said thoughtfully, before going silent, every monster holding their breath, afraid of what their leader was going to do to them. Finally, the lizard spoke. “Well in that case I obviously can't trust you with this mission alone. This is far too important and I can't risk another failure from all of you.”

Every monster flinched at the word 'failure' but Lobster Claws risked a question. “So does this mean we're going after Marco again?”

The lizard smiled, every monster shivering as the room seemed to grow colder. “Yes. Only this time... I will personally oversee his capture.”

[fancyfrey]

Castor, the Six Star Hero

an OC centric BNHA fanfiction

Chapter 2

Touma wants to become a pro hero. He trains every day and studies the special moves and techniques of pros and sidekicks alike at his part time job. But there’s one thing in his way: In a world were 90% of the population had some sort of super human ability known as a quirk, Touma was one of the 10% that didn’t. Touma was quirkless, but that won’t stop him from pursuing his dream of working in the hero industry like the rest of his family. This is the story of how Castor, the Six Star Hero became the first quirkless pro hero.

It was a week less one day since the U.A. entrance exam and his anticipation was swelling. He felt some strange mix of disappointment and relief when he opened his mailbox and found nothing had come that bore the school's logo. Shifting through the mail he found only bills and started on his way back home. 

"Hey! Hoshi!" Not a second passed before he felt the impact of a soccer ball knocked him to the ground. He started to pick himself up but a foot landed firmly between his shoulder blades and pushed him into the dirt again. "I think I saw you at that U.A. entrance exam the other day. Don't tell me you actually tried to get into U.A." his classmate Ame taunted him. He could hear Ame's friends jeer at him as they kicked dirt into his eyes. Touma tried to remember if his classmate was there, was he assigned to a different part of the arena? He struggled to get up but Ame ground his heel into his back and continued, "I got 50 points! Those 3 point enemies were easy as shit!" He boasted. "I bet you spent the whole 10 minutes trying to take down a 1 pointer! Hahaha!"

"Hey, isn't there a written test to? No doubt the quirkless scum failed that too! How stupid do you have to be to get held back twice?!" Ame's friend joined in on the verbal attacks."Try as you might, but your mom and money can't buy you talent!"

Touma clenched his fists and started to lift himself up by his elbows. "Leave her out of this!!" Ame's foot stamped down on him again, the force of gravity emanating from his quirk threatened to sink Touma into the ground and crush his lungs. Touma gave up and tapped the ground twice, calling for mercy. 

"I thought so! Some quirkless nobody can't even defend themselves against people younger than him." Ame spat. He lifted his foot off of Touma's back. Touma stayed where he was and hid his face, he didn't want to give Ame any satisfaction by showing his wet eyes. "If you really want a quirk, go kill yourself and hope you'll be born with a quirk in the next life." Ame and his friend walked off, leaving Touma in the dirt. 

"What's in the mail?" Hotari asked when Touma returned home and tossed the mail onto a growing pile on the table. "Touma! What happened to your shirt?" She fretted when she saw stains and wrinkles on his chest. "Nothing, mom. It's fine." He swatted her hand away and avoided meeting her eyes so she couldn't see how puffy they were."It was that Omoi Ame again, wasn't it?" His mother hissed."I'm fine mom, please don't worry about it." Touma said and he retreated up to his room.

Touma barely touched his dinner that night and he didn't get much sleep. Even the peanut gallery kept their comments to a minimum. 

At school, it was much of the same. All his other classmates were excited about graduating, the younger students eagerly showed off and practiced their quirks between classes or during lunch period. The halls parted as Touma passed through.At the end of the day, he found his locker broken into. His note books full of heroes' quirk analyses and blueprint sketches for new gear were ripped and vandalised. His gym clothes were torn and his protein bars were stolen.

Down the hall, Ame and his friends were gathered, watching him. They sprayed the crumbs of his stolen protein bars as they pointed and laughed.

  "How was school today, Touma?" His mother called from her home office when Touma walked through the door.

"Fine." He hung his jacket up in the closet.

"Your karate instructor called, you didn't show up to practice?"

"Yeah I told told her I wasn't feeling up to it today." He kicked his shoes off and flopped onto a couch in the next room. "Can we go out and buy another set of gym clothes some time?" His mother came down, a number of measuring tapes around her neck and a pin cushion and some spools of thread on a belt hung loosely on her waist.

"What happened to your old ones?" She asked.

"I think I forgot them on the train home. Sorry."

"It's fine," she sighed. "I'll let your uncle know." She waved it off, "by the way, something came in the mail for you." She pointed to the table, cluttered with blueprints, tools, a couple small batteries and some loose wires. There, on top of the whole pile was a single white envelope with the logo of U.A. clearly printed on it.

"Do you...want to open it now or later? With me, or alone?" His mother asked slowly in attempt to bring him out of his shocked expression. "Hello, earth to Touma--"

"Now. ---alone." He grabbed the envelope and rushed up to his room. He shoved things around on his desk and found a small knife. With one fluid flick, the envelope was open and the letter was on his desk. 

He quickly skimmed the introductory address, the school's self praise and the explanation of points and the minimum required for admittance. He scanned the bottom where he found his points listed in two columns. 

Enemy Points: 44 Rescue points: 56

What were rescue points? He didn't know about those, but he had a total of 100, much more than the minimum required! He was in! He did it! A spark lit in his chest and his breath caught in his throat. Finally, nearly his whole life of dreaming of working with his family, more than 10 years of training and 2 whole years dedicated to this exam had paid off. He felt tears stinging his eyes the edges of his mouth turning up and digging deep dimples in his cheeks. He jumped up from his chair and pumped his fists in the air. Far away, he heard whoops and applause. 

He wiped his eyes of blurry tears and read the last line of the letter, expecting congratulations, 

We regret to inform you your application to the Heroics Course was rejected on the grounds of using an unauthorised aid.

Touma's shoulders dropped and his heart fell into his feet, struggling to find purchase on his desk, about to fall over. This couldn't be.

'Now that ain't right' a voice sneered in his head, nearly spitting the name of the school.

fekking snake

I'm not surprised though...

He took the letter in both hands and for a second of rage and desperation, thought of ripping it."Don't do anything stupid." A voice scolded him from behind."Shut up!" He yelled. He crumpled the letter into a tight ball and threw it at the wall. The next few moments blurred. He was down the stairs and out the door. He didn't know if the voice calling for him was his mother or the voices in his head. Probably both. 

He somehow found himself on the edge of a marina in a park near his uncle's office. The water below him was a deep blue, but it was calm. Stay calm. Breathe... he sat on the marina and let his legs dangle off the edge, as if tempting fate.

"What are you thinking of doing?" 

A woman a few years older than him with a thick accent he couldn't place, light violet eyes and nearly platinum hair said in a voice dripping with concern.

"Nothing...I just, need to calm my nerves." Touma sighed. He sat cross legged on the marina and started doing breathing exercises.

"That's good. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you." The woman breathed, voice calm and cool.

"I wasn't going to jump." Touma said just to dispel any more concern from the lady. She nodded her head and sat down beside him.

"Do you know how to swim?" She asked.

"A little."

"That water looks deep." She said. Touma could just see the outline of sharp rocks near the marina, though they didn't look close enough to the surface that he could stand on them. The blue water grew darker as its depths swallowed up the rocks.

"That's why I'm not jumping. I can't give Ame that kind of satisfaction." He said sternly.

"Is that the only reason?"

'I still want to be a hero,' he thought, but instead he said, "Why are you talking to me?"

"Because, you're like me." she said slowly, looking for the right words. "We've been where you are, because we're quirkless too. And we gotta stick together, right?" Touma looked at her sideways, how did she know he was quirkless?! And then he just looked at her. It was fairly hot outside, but it looked like she was in a damn parka, a scarf and gloves and a hat and thick boots with snow stuck on the tops of her toes and in her soles.

"Who the fuck are you?" He demanded.

"I saw your blueprints and drawings." She dodged. "Did you design that bow staff all by yourself?"

Touma was taken aback, but she didn't seem like she was going to answer his question any time soon. He sighed and answered her, "yeah. With some help from my uncle of course."

"That's amazing. Your mom and uncle, they work for Innovation Enterprises, right?" The lady asked, gesturing to the sweater Touma wore, the Innovation Enterprises logo emblazoned on its shoulder. Touma nodded. 

"I would help out in the lab. Since I was nine, that’s how I spent all my summers. Take measurements, record readings when they did tests. Pass them wrenches or drill bits." Touma said fondly, glad to focus on something else other than UA High. "That's good. That's really good." She picked up a small rock by his feet and skipped it across across the water."--past couple of years I've been tinkering around, making things." Touma shrugged."Like that bow and arrow? That staff?"

"And a few iterations of some gauntlets, boots...helmets and goggles..."

"That's amazing...Is that what you want to do when you finish school?" She sounded genuinely interested. Her Japanese had a strange lilt to it but it felt good having someone to talk to.

"That, or something like it." Touma said.

"That something, being a hero?" the lady asked. Touma sighed.

"Yeah, but there are no quirkless heroes." He resigned.

"Yet. There are no quirkless heroes yet." She pat him on the shoulder for added encouragement but he didn't feel it. "You're a fighter too, aren't you?"

Touma nodded.

"Then, you should know that uh," she scrunched up her face as if she was trying to remember something. "There's this old movie, how did the quote go?" She put on some fake gruff accent and said "It ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward--that's how winning is done!" She exclaimed. Touma smiled. "Do you want to start heading back home?" She got up and gestured in the general direction that he came. Her accent was back to normal. Touma nodded.They walked in silence through the city that was just starting to settle down after a long day. 

Cute! The platinum haired woman stooped over a potted plant in front of a restaurant and pointed to the base, into the small weeds and dirt. A girl about her age with short dark hair picked up a small mouse from the pot and for some insane reason she let it crawl into a pocket on her gym bag

 "What?" Touma exclaimed. She only placed her index finger over her lips in response.

'You forgot a notebook at school. Let's go get it.' A gruff voice suggested in what he swore was German. Touma flinched as he thought he felt hair brush up against his ear. The woman with snowy boots and the dark haired girl nodded. Touma shrugged but decided to play along. 'Let's give Ame what he deserves.' the gruff voice said.

A security guard let Touma in, there were still clubs going on, so getting into his locker wasn't that hard. 'Where's this Ame kid's locker?'

Touma walked up to Ame's locker, but he didn't know the combination. "I can't do anything."

'You can't, but I can.' The gruff voice spoke up again,  it belonged to a blond man about Touma's age. He appeared beside Touma, looked over his shoulders in case someone else was coming by, and carefully started turning the lock on Ame's locker, his ear pressed close to it. He smiled and stepped aside, and presented the opened locker with a flourish. The dark haired girl smiled and let the mouse scurry out from her pocket and into the locker as the snowy boots lady folded her arms and shook her head but was grinning the whole time. Touma opened the wrappers of his stolen protein bars and the mouse started nibbling on them. The blond man nodded and close the door and locked it again. Far off, Touma heard giggling that didn't stop until he got back home.

"Touma! Touma, I've been worried sick!" His mother nearly tackled him once he walked in his front door. She pulled him into a tight embrace and he thought she would never let go. Then she took a step back and smacked him across the face. "Don't you go out without telling me like that again!! You left your phone, I was about to call Mr. Nishiya to go and find you!" She pulled him into her arms again. He felt tears on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Touma. That wasn't fair, they should have let you use your bow. Mr. Yamada told me you got the highest score of this year but---"

"It's fine mom..." Touma tried to stroke her hair, tried to calm her down.

"No it's not. Just because you don't have a quirk the administration---"

"I'm over it, mom. I'm not going to let this stop me. I'm going to keep moving forward."

She straightened herself and looked him in the eyes. Her amber eyes were sparkling with tears, the same tears he felt pushing against his own eyes. She smiled. "I'm so happy, Touma. I'm so relieved you feel that way."

She finally let him go and dusted the both of them off. With a deep breath she collected herself and said, "clear the table, I'll go get us something special for dinner, okay? Will you be okay here?"

"I'll be fine mom, thanks." Touma smiled. He started clearing the table and gathered up the mail to set it in her office. As he walked up the stairs, an envelope slipped from his grasp and landed on the floor. When he picked it up, he saw this also had the U.A. logo on it. He dropped the rest of the mail and immediately picked this one up. Carefully, hesitantly, he ripped open the envelope and read what it said.

Your application to the U.A. support course has been accepted.

The next day at school, Ame got quite a shock when he opened up his locker and found a mouse in it. All the notebooks and assignments he'd left in there had been chewed to bits. Touma tried to contain his laughter until lunch.

'I've never used chopsticks before.' A quiet voice said in German when Touma took out his lunch.

I suck at them. Someone else said in heavily accented Japanese. Touma rolled his eyes and put his lunch back in his backpack. He went off to look for another place to eat lunch, if only to escape from the voices in his head and the strange looks he was getting from other students. When he made it to the courtyard, he saw the snowy boots lady sitting on a bench. If there was no escape from the other voices, at least this figure was a welcome one. He took a seat beside her, eating his lunch and sketching new designs for support gear between mouthfuls of rice. She was reading a book in a script he couldn't read but registered as Cyrillic.

"Who are you, exactly?" Touma asked the snowy boots lady.

She rested her chin against her hand, and twirled a lock of silver hair. She pursed her lips and stared at a spot somewhere behind him, like she was tasting the right words to explain herself. Her next words were as calm and soothing as everything else she’d said to him so far, but they nearly made Touma choke on his lunch.

"I'm your quirk." the lady said with a sweet smile on her face.

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[hforhonesty]

Book Review #2 | Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

“Cath and Wren are identical twins and until recently they did absolutely everything together. Now they’re off to university and Wren’s decided she doesn’t want to be one half of a pair any more – she wants to dance, meet boys, go to parties and let loose. It’s not easy for Cath. She would rather bury herself in the fanfiction she writes where there’s romance far more intense than anything she’s experienced in real life.

Now Cath has to decide whether she’s ready to open her heart to new people and new experiences, and she’s realizing there’s more to learn about love than she ever thought possible…” [Official synopsis of the book]

Alternative title: “Ode to our Inner Fangirl” or “Every fangirl must-read”.

This book was pretty popular when I was still active on my fandoms but I, uhm, refused to read it.

(Because I’m disturbed)

(Ask anyone)

Seriously, though. I was only 14 at the time and I was going through that phase that didn’t let me read books outside the fantasy genre, given my not-so-little obsession toward Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, The Mortal Instruments, Hunger Games, and so on.

I bought my first copy on July 2014, during a fortnight study holiday in Dublin. I also got something like ten other books and had to purchase a carry-on because they wouldn’t fit in my luggage, but that’s another story.

Anyway, as soon as I started Fangirl, I decided to read only a few chapters for each night instead of finishing it in a glorious one-night-stand. You need to know that I have always been a fast-reader, but this time… I really didn’t want to finish it; instead, I wanted to enjoy every single line and make the book last as long as possible.

Before we start talking about Fangirl, you need to know that it is set in an alternative universe where Gemma T. Leslie is the actual author the Simon Snow Series, which is worldwide famous. Since the eighth and last book of the series is about to be published, most fans seized the day and decided to write on the Internet their own versions of the story, so that they could all have a say in the matter regarding the end.

“The whole point of fanfiction,” she said, “is that you get to play inside somebody else’s universe. Rewrite the rules. Or bend them. The story doesn’t have to end when Gemma Leslie gets tired of it. You can stay in this world, this world you love, as long as you want, as long as you keep thinking of new stories...” “Fanfiction,” Levi said.

“Yes.”

Cath Avery is undoubtedly Simon Snow’s #1 FAN. She loves the books so much that she owns something like every gadget of the series: posters, drawings, t-shirts, commemorative busts of Simon and Baz...

Just take a look at the fanart of her room made by Simini Blocker:

However, if someone asked Cath if there were something about the series that she wanted to change, the answer would be the most affirmative yes in the history of yes-s.

Because in Gemma T. Leslie’s version of Simon Snow, he and Baz Pitch are just enemies... And Snowbaz is a CRACK SHIP.

I mean, only G̶e̶m̶m̶a̶ ̶T̶.̶ ̶L̶e̶s̶l̶i̶e̶ a monster would write about their amazing chemistry and THEN DELIBERATELY CHOOSE NOT TO MAKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP ROMANTIC.

I need five minutes to calm down.

Inhala, exhala.

Inhala, exhala.

Inhala, exhala.

Okay. Fine. Fine. I’m cool. I’m fine.

So sorry you had to witness my wig snatching. Anyway...

Since R̶a̶i̶n̶b̶o̶w̶ ̶R̶o̶w̶e̶l̶l̶ Cath is also Snowbaz’s #1 FAN, she has to do something about this contempt of court, so she writes several fanfictions using the nickname Magicath and becomes beyond popular. People all around North America read her fanfictions, and she’s pretty well-known in Japan, too.

She’s currently working on her latest fanfiction, Carry on, which is her own version of the eighth book.

Wait a minute, you say. Is her fanfiction the same as Rainbow’s book?

The answer is no. Rainbow herself said that her book and Cath’s fanfiction are pretty much different, so you don’t have to worry about spoilers while you’re reading Fangirl. Moreover, here’s the link to my spoiler!free review/analysis of Carry on, which can be read by both newbies or og members of the fandom.

Anyway... As you can see, Cath loves writing – and she loves it so much that not only she’s majoring in English, but she’s also convinced her advisor to let her take Intro to Fiction-Writing, which is a class only for junior students.

Intro to Fiction-Writing is taught by professor Piper, whom I consider one of the best fictional-teachers of all time. One of my favourite scenes of the book is set during her very first lecture, when she asks her students why people write fiction.

The first time I read Fangirl, I remember putting the book down for a moment and asking myself how I would have answered if I had been one of those students. I probably would have kept the answer for myself, but the point is that, as I was getting lost on my thought, I couldn’t come up with an explanation of why I write.

It’s a tricky question for a writer, isn’t it? I bet that we could all come up with replies that couldn’t be more different from each other. We have a urge to write and we try to get along with it, but where does this urge come from? And what does it say? Does it speak a universal language?

Five years later, I think I’ve found my answer.

I’m an introvert. I’m loud and talkative when I’m with my friends, but I can’t even order a pizza on the phone — which is kind of funny, whatever.

Being an introvert also means that I have a hard time identifying myself with fictional characters. They are what I like to call the ‘Quiet Ones’, of course, but they seem to overcome their introversion, which is described as a huge problem that needs to be fixed, and gain tons of ““confidence”” (see: extroversion) toward the end of the book | series | movie | tv show, becoming totally different people.

So why do I write?

I write because I want people like me to know that they are not alone, that there’s nothing wrong with them, that there are people out there who think and feel things just like they do.

Because darling, we don’t need to be fixed.

We are just introverts.

Why do I write? Cath tried to come up with a profound answer – knowing she wouldn’t speak up, even if she did.

But she does. I mean, she does come up with an answer. More than one, actually. And while I was reading this scene, I was like, how is it even possible? How can I relate so much to a character that I’ve known for less than twenty pages?

“To explore new worlds,” someone said.

“To explore old ones,” someone else said. Professor Piper was nodding.

To be somewhere else, Cath thought.

“To set ourselves free,” a girl said.

To get free of ourselves.

“To stop hearing the voices in our head,” said the boy in front of Cath. [...]

To stop, Cath thought.

To stop from being anything or anywhere at all.

“Why do we write fiction?” Professor Piper asked.

Cath looked down at her notebook.

To disappear.

Cath can’t help isolating herself from everyone but her loved ones. Her father suffers from bipolarism, and her mother abandoned her and Wren because she wasn’t interested in motherhood.

When your family is incapable of loving you, it leaves a mark that lasts a lifetime. You’re afraid of rejection, you know that nobody will ever accept you for who you are, and you can’t stop thinking that if your own mother left you, then everyone else will eventually do the same.

So what’s the point in letting them break your heart any way?

“No,” Cath said, “seriously. Look at you. You’ve got your shit together, you’re not scared of everything. I’m scared of everything. And I’m crazy. Like maybe you think I’m a little crazy, but I only ever let people see the tip of my crazy iceberg. Underneath this veneer of slightly crazy and socially inept, I’m a complete disaster.”

Reading this quote was like watching my reflection on the mirror. I felt every single word of what she was saying, I felt her insecurities, her second-guessing, her fears. For a moment she was me... and I was her.

Fangirl made me realise that I’m not alone, that there is nothing wrong with who I am, that there are people out there who think and feel things just like I do.

So it’s pretty obvious that Cath belongs to the Quiet Ones. What makes her different, however, is that she doesn’t give anything up; instead, she accepts herself for who she is. And at the end of the story, she has gained more confidence, it’s true, but she’s still Cath Avery, which is one of the reasons why I love this book so much.

Thank you for reading my review. I hope you guys enjoyed it! :)

With love,

M.C.

Post scriptum: I can’t believe that my first review on Carry on got 102 notes! That’s insane, guys! I can’t believe it! Okay, enough with the exclamation marks. It’s just that... Wow. Even Rainbow Rowell herself liked it. I mean, RAINBOW ROWELL. For Heaven’s sake, I couldn’t be more thrilled.

So thank you, thank you very much. You’ve made my year.

[icypantherwrites]

Happy 2nd Birthday to Color, Happy 2-Year Anniversary to Me, and a Giant Wall of Text (and a message too) for You!

March 7 is a pretty important day to me these days. It is As Color Fades Away’s birthday, two-years-old now what a cutie, but even more than that it marks my two-year anniversary of not just entering the Voltron: Legendary Defender fandom but reigniting my passion for writing. Buckle in if you want to read this, apparently I’m writing a story here.

Up until that point from 2011 -- 2017 I had pretty much given up on ever writing anything outside of press releases or news stories ever again. I’d been told my writing wasn’t all that great, my plots and characters not engaging and getting a C in creative writing my senior year of college pretty much hammered all those nails into the coffin. I would be better off, said my adviser (who also gave me the above C and was an “accomplished” writer in both journalism and creative writing and so of course he knew what he was talking about) in putting my efforts into journalism where I “had a voice” and could use it.

So I did. And I gave up writing creatively and all dreams for my novel because obviously who would want to read it? 

I tried a couple times to get back into creative writing via fanfiction, writing little one-shots for an anime convention’s fanfiction contest. I tried to update one of my long-running Harry Potter stories (a sequel) that had had an amazing following. Almost none returned and the new audience to my one-shots was minimal. Every single time was just another nail, another “see? no one wants to read anything you write,” and I planned to close that chapter on my life for good.

In late 2016 while at anime conventions I kept seeing this show called Voltron popping up and congoers kept asking me if I had merchandise for it. I’m like, nope, never heard of it, but maybe I could watch it and see if it’s something I could draw for. First episode I wasn’t sold, almost quit. But for the sake of drawing fanart I kept on, figured I’d make it through a few more before I could say I “knew” enough to draw for it and call it a day. Let’s just say that the Fall of the Castle of the Lions happened exactly where it needed to as I fell head over heels that day for Lance. I binged seasons one and two without pause and was left sitting there wanting more.

And then something strange happened. I had a little tickle in the back of my mind that said write and I was like, no. Must draw. Write pushed harder and I said fine. I’ll scribble something down and move on with my life. The next day, March 7, I had the first chapter of what was the still untitled Color. I posted it after hemming and hawing over a title with very little expectation and there’s still the original author’s note on the bottom stating, “I'd love to hear what your thoughts are on the story so far; they'll let me know if I should be continuing this.”

Now granted I didn’t get like an immediate rush of commenters or readers. It was a slow trickle. But I knew going into this fandom from clicking through pages of stories that the commentetaorship was rather low. And the first comments I got were your very, very basic, “this looks interesting, I’d like to see more,” which weren’t very inspiring. But it was enough to get me to write a second chapter. And then another. And another. Somewhere in there I had the thought “I really like doing this, I’m having fun,”  And the rest is history. Or, er, fanfiction? ;p 

This isn’t meant to be a downer of a post, but more of just a way to show you where I’ve come from. This fandom and writing Color gave me back the passion and joy I once had for writing. It made me believe that someone out there did want to read my works and maybe, maybe, they’d someday want to read that original novel idea of mine. So thank you. Thank you for your comments. Your passion. Your excitement. Your support. It literally has changed my life.

The past several months have been hard; I’ve lost a lot of friends in both the fandom and fellow authors (of who I hope all are doing well and are happy) and my fanfiction and the amount of it I was producing began to feel more like an expectation by most rather than a treat. It hurt. I felt underappreciated. It culminated when the expectation I had for Color’s finale (after 430k words, over 800 subscribers, 80 chapters, I thought this last chapter would of course bring in all those lurkers, those people who had been absent for months and months but who I knew were still reading my works) didn’t happen the way I had hoped it would. I began to withdraw, began to plot my way to leave. I wanted to focus on my novel anyway. I had real life things that needed my attention. This was for the best. As of not even a few weeks ago that was still my game plan; finish posting the fics I had and leave.

But I couldn’t go. Even with all the drama in this fandom, even with how the series ended and decisions made throughout it, even with how it can make me feel because I get so invested and pour so much heart and myself into it and it hurts when that validation doesn’t rise to the levels I had hoped, I couldn’t go. I love you guys. I love writing fanfiction. I love and appreciate the fans and readers I still have, to the new ones who have joined me. So I’m still here ♥ I can’t say for certain how long but I hope for a good while still. I’m trying my hand at a Patreon to help financially support me some so I can justify spending the time to do so. If you want to help me out on that front, I’d be so grateful. Literally even $1 helps and to have that sort of monetary support means so much. 

So, happy birthday to Color. Happy anniversary to me. And not just a giant wall of text for you but my eternal thanks and love for helping me find my passion again.

Thank you ♥

AO3 | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Discord

[emiliachrstine]

Alright girly I went to a talk today from an author who came to my school and it was about getting stuck in your writing & why it happens/how you can fix it and I swear the entire time I was thinking of you because you say you've lost your muse for stories and that you have no energy to write for your babies (even if you're doing okay now, it's good advice for the future) and I hate to see you struggling like that so get ready because I am gonna learn you the things I learned today ~ 🕸 (1)

Writer’s block doesn’t exist, this author says. There are two reasons people get stuck: psychological and craft. Psychological reasons are like negative thoughts (not believing in yourself, someone saying your writing sucks), thinking you have nothing original to say, dealing with perfectionism/short attention span, that kind of stuff. Craft reasons are problems with the story itself. The most important thing to do is to figure out to what extent you’re blocked for both categories

You have to remember with short attention span (getting bored with a story) that you’re constantly changing as you’re writing the story, so sometimes your story needs to change too. She used the metaphor of soup. When you sit down to make soup, you gather all your ingredients and place them on the counter. Sometimes you gotta add some more spices into your soup to rekindle your interest in that (damn good, I might add) soup.

Almost every writer can quote word for word their worst reviews, but not their best. Why? Because bad reviews take up so much space in your brain. So just knowing that negative thoughts take up more space in your brain can be helpful because it helps you focus on the good and letting that outweigh the bad. She suggested keeping every encouragement, every positive note or comment on your writing, because if you don’t, you’ll forget them and the bad stuff will take over your brain space

Now, the bad comments. Picture whatever that faceless anonymous person said to you (or the negative things you keep telling yourself). Picture a rat saying that stuff. Then picture yourself picking up that stupid rat and dropping it in a jar. Do that with every single rat that you find. When the jar is full, lock it tight and throw it in a lake, and let it sink to the bottom with all the bad comments and negative, self-deprecating thoughts, never to be seen or heard again. 

Perfectionism. We all deal with it. Go on YouTube and look for a high-speed video of someone painting. They don’t start in a corner and paint a meticulous portion, then move to the next. They start with rough sketches, broad strokes in the middle of the canvas, then add the details. They keep going with the rough parts, they don’t stop there. You have to start bad and go over it and refine it before you can reach the “perfect” point you think you have to be at in the beginning.

Perfectionism has no seat at the table when you’re starting your story. It’s wonderful during revision and editing, but it should not be the driving force behind your writing. Also, if you worry that your ideas or words aren’t original enough, it’s okay. Originality will come through as you go, you can write your way there. It’s in the details, which you add after you lay down your foundation, your broad strokes in the middle of the canvas.

Now for the craft reasons you can get stuck in the middle of the story. It’s worth noting that you can’t solve these issues until you quiet down the negative voices of the psychological issues. Usually people get about a quarter of the way through a story before they hit a wall. From there you can either embrace the wall and take that time to think about the structure and architecture of your story, the shape of the whole thing, or you can back up and look at it.

You can only see so much of your story on your tiny computer screen. Sometimes you need to back up and look at the whole thing to see why you might be hitting that wall. You could draw out the rising action and climax and such. You could print out the whole story and look at it on your floor. Whatever it is, take a step away from the tiny section that’s been a pain in your ass and remember to look at the big picture.

Also, when you make a situation urgent enough, when you give the characters what they want just out of reach, it lends to the story momentum. Watch any movie and pause it with 20 minutes left. If the movie ended there, would you be satisfied with the ending, or would it tick you off because there’s still unresolved problems? If you’re stuck, ask if you’re bored because you haven’t given your characters high enough stakes. When they know what they want, you’ll know what happens next.

Wow that was a lot of asks. Sorry if that was too much information or if I overstepped at all. I did it out of love, I swear. It just kills me to see you and other authors struggling with something that should be fun and stress-free. I also just really appreciated the talk today and I wanted to share it because it’s really good advice that I also need to remember in the future. So those are your very long Positivity Asks™️ for tonight. Much love, sweet Emilia.

Okay I know this is quite a bit, but I feel like everyone should read this. I’ve just been reading these messages in my inbox over and over again, and honestly it really made me sit back and think. I started to think which of these could be the reason why my muse is just dying. I think trying to be a perfectionist and crafting is part of the issue, but I believe the biggest one is thinking that my writing is…well, crap. I read all of these amazing fanfics and am just floored by the talent people on here possess. And it does make me look at my own writing and I cringe. I often feel like my writing is poor, that my storylines/ocs are convoluted or just dumb. That my writing style isn’t strong enough to produce a good story. And, if I can be completely honest, that’s part of the reason why I don’t read a lot of fanfiction anymore. Because I know that I’ll eventually compare my writing to theirs and get so discouraged. It’s so stupid, trust me I know and I am trying my absolute best to grow out of that mindset. But it’s really hard. Especially when I struggle with reviews (that’s a whole other conversation I’m not in the mood to have right now). I’ve been coming up with more ideas to put into Renegades and it does get me insanely excited. But the minute I go to write more, I immediately go back into that mindset of not being good enough. That my words won’t convey what I’m trying to put out properly. It’s just a vicious cycle and I hate it.

But thank you nonnie for sending me these messages. It really has given me a lot to think about. I’ve been slowly chipping away at the next chapter for Renegades and I am hoping that this will give me some sort of boost! The fact that you even took the time to send me all of these messages really means a lot!! THANK YOU!!

[odaatlover]

Author Q&A

Q: What’s your sexual orientation? 

A: I identify as gay. 

Q: Which country are you from? 

A: The United States - more specifically the southeast. 

Q: Sometimes the level of detail and realism in the fic amazes me to no end. So I was wondering if you had taken inspiration on personal experiences or some real life people to write any scenes or describe some details? 

A: Thank you! I have taken a few things from my own life – most of it being the more sexual stuff – but for the most part I’m just putting myself into the mindset of these characters and just writing as if I am them. I’m a very empathetic person, and it’s incredibly easy for me to put myself into ‘other people’s shoes’, so to speak. So because of that, I am able to write as if I am actually Nicole, or Waverly, or whoever is speaking in the moment. I do it for every single character in my story. It’s kind of fun, because it’s almost like acting! I will say that the only character I feel that’s a little different in my story than in the show is Dolls. I think in the show he’s a little more “to the point”, but in my story he’s a bit more easy going and laid back. That wasn’t a conscious decision, it just sort of happened that way. But I feel like if he wasn’t an agent that was trained to eradicate paranormal forces, he would be more laid back like that anyways, so it works out! 

Q: Last movie you watched? 

A: The Miseducation of Cameron Post, and it was VERY good. Chloë Grace Moretz’s acting in the film is incredible. It’s very realistic and eye-opening, and I definitely recommend buying/renting it and supporting the queer woman who wrote and directed it! 

Q: What do you usually use to write your fanfictions? 

A: I use Word on my laptop, and when I’m out and get a sudden burst of inspiration I’ll pull up the Notes app on my phone and start writing. The Notes app is great because it’s linked to my laptop as well, so when I get home I can just pull up the app on my computer and everything is there from my phone, so I just copy and paste it into my Word document! Technology is great. 

Q: What does a typical day look like for you? 

A: I wake up, take my wife to work, go to my job where I teach some kids how to play percussion instruments, come home to do something creative (writing, creating music, playing an instrument, etc.), pick my wife up from work, do something with her – usually either watching TV or playing a board game, go to sleep. 

Q: What’s your favorite thing to write? 

A: Most of the time, smut. Which is why there’s so much of it in my story! But I also really enjoy writing the humorous stuff as well. 

Q: Favorite WayHaught kiss? 

A: Their first one…it was a really good first kiss 😏 

Q: Do you already have in mind other fics for the future? 

A: Actually, I’m in the process of writing one right now! It’s a WayHaught high school alternate universe story in which Waverly is a cheerleader and Nicole is a basketball player who transfers to Purgatory High in the middle of sophomore year (10th grade). The story focuses on Waverly and Nicole figuring out who they are as young adults, discovering their sexuality, and exploring their bodies – as teenagers do. The goal is to make it as true as possible to being a teenager in 2019, for all of the teens out there that are stuck in high school and need something to relate to. I feel like a lot of the high school fics are a bit outdated, or don’t “go there” enough to touch on the “uncomfortable” or “taboo” topics. And you better believe that this fic will! I’m getting close to halfway through with it – about 10 chapters so far – and have been working on it for the past month. I will begin posting that when I’ve completed it, so be on the lookout! If you’re interested in helping me out with some plotline ideas for it, you can fill out this survey here… https://www.opinionstage.com/odaatlover/wayhaught-high-school-fanfiction-topics-calling-all-teens-or-anyone-interested-in-providing-ideas 

Q: What’s your favorite holiday? 

A: Pride! …does that even count as a holiday? If not, then I’ll say Christmas. 

Q: What’s your favorite kind of date night? 

A: Something where we can converse pretty easily. Maybe dinner or walking around somewhere. 

Q: Do you brainstorm chapters before you write them? 

A: Sometimes I’ll have a layout. For example, this is the exact brainstorming layout I have written out in my notes app for the next chapter… 

Chapter 55 – (title?) 

- Dolls asks Nicole for advice on a date he has planned 

- Nedley asks Nicole to go “undercover” to find out what’s going on with Chrissy in her life 

- Waverly surprises Nicole with a romantic homemade dinner. They talk about their day, Waverly asks Nicole some questions about her past. 

There’s a little sneak peek for you guys 😉 But other than that, all of the dialogue just kind of flows naturally. There have been a couple of chapters where I didn’t have a layout at all and just let the words flow out of my brain, but most of the time I have an idea of the main plots of the chapter. 

Q: Waverly or Nicole? 

A: I relate more to Nicole, but I find Waverly to be more attractive. 

Q: Do you have any siblings? 

A: I have a sister who is 3 ½ years older than I am. 

Q: What color are your eyes? 

A: Blue. And they’re very sensitive to sunlight. I spend most of my life squinting. 

Q: Do you ever get writer’s block? 

A: Yes! Quite often, actually. Which is why your survey answers in regard to “The Grind” have been so helpful! Also, those who comment on my fic with ideas of things they want to see help too. Any time I get writer’s block, I’ll either read some fics to draw inspiration from, or I’ll just start writing something that’s completely different, just to get the creative juices flowing. Often when I have writer’s block and aren’t sure where to take the story, I’ll just do a random smutty chapter for the week. Hope you all are okay with that 😉 If you haven’t filled it out yet, you can find that survey here… https://www.opinionstage.com/odaatlover/the-grind-reader-survey 

Q: Lipstick or chapstick? 

A: If you’re asking which type of lesbian I am, chapstick. If you’re asking which one I prefer on my lips…chapstick. 

Q: Favorite concert you’ve ever been to? 

A: Blue Man Group! Although, I will say that I went to Taylor Swift’s Reputation tour back in August with my wife who is obsessed with her, and although I’m not crazy about her music, I’ll admit that the girl can perform. I thought I was going to hate it, but I actually really enjoyed it. 

Q: Is there a specific place that you write? 

A: Most of the time I just write at my house - either at the table or sometimes on the couch in my living room, but occasionally I like to go to the Barnes & Noble at the mall close to us and write there. My wife and I will go together and we’ll just sit at the same table – me writing and her reading a book – while we occasionally steal glances at each other and kick each other’s feet. It’s pretty great. 

Q: What superpower would you choose and why? 

A: Shapeshifting, because I genuinely want to know what it’s like to walk through life as other people, more specifically as a man 🤔 

Q: Windows or Mac? 

A: Mac. I have nothing against Windows, but everything I use is Apple and I’m used to it. 

Q: What’s a fun fact about you? 

A: I’m deaf in my right ear and wear a hearing aid, due to having had a lot of ear infections as a kid. Bonus round: I started wearing glasses at age of 2, but stopped needing them at 16 because my eye doctor said that my glasses corrected my vision and I didn’t need to wear them anymore, so now I’m glasses-free! 🤓 (<-- not me) 

Q: Favorite lesbian YouTuber? 

A: Rose and Rosie! They’re hilarious, and honestly remind me of my wife and myself. 

Q: Describe yourself in three words. 

A: Where’s my wallet? (Always using it, always losing it…) 

Q: What was the #1 song on the radio the day you were born? 

A: *searches song* Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot 😂 Classic. 

Q: What languages do you speak? 

A: English and some Spanish. I can understand Spanish better than I can properly speak it. My wife is fluent in both, but her first language is Spanish, so I’m exposed to it often.

Q: Are you a DomKat fan? 

A: I love them! I genuinely enjoy watching their interviews, including the ones with them as individuals (Just Dom or just Kat). I also enjoy listening to the podcasts they’ve been featured in, more specifically Tales Of The Black Badge. I don’t ship them as a couple like a lot of people think they secretly are, but I love their friendship. You can tell they genuinely enjoy each other’s company, which in turn shows through their WayHaught scenes on screen. I love both of them, but I’m a bigger fan of Dominique. She’s just so adorable! 

Q: Do you have any celebrity crushes? 

A: Dominique Provost-Chalkley 😍 But also, Emma Watson. 

Q: What is your favorite season of Wynonna Earp? 

A: I think season 2 is my favorite. I loved season 3, but I liked season 2 better. And season 1 was inevitably them trying to figure things out since they didn’t have any fans yet. 

Q: What’s your least favorite thing about Wynonna Earp? 

A: The violence. They’ve toned it down a bit, which is good, but it was a little too much in the first season, which made it kind of difficult for me to watch. I’m not a huge fan of violence 🙅🏻 

Q: Do you have any other lesbian ships that you like? 

A: Well, I’ve watched the supercuts of pretty much EVERY lesbian ship out there, but I am a big Hollstein (Laura and Carmilla) fan. Spashley (Spencer and Ashley) was the first teen lesbian ship I was exposed to, so that will obviously always hold a special place in my heart. I loved Sanvers (Alex and Maggie), but since it ended I kind of lost interest in that ship. Big Calzona (Callie and Arizona) fan, and am super sad they’re no longer on the show. And I’m currently getting hooked on Avalance (Ava and Sara) now that we’ve just finished season 3 of Legends of Tomorrow. Basically, I’m very gay… 

Q: Do you have any fanfic recommendations? 

A: “From Afar” – Avrilsky. I know it’s popular, but I really enjoyed that one. Also, “How do I wrap my heart up for Christmas” by breezered is short, but sweet. 

Someone asked for me to tell my coming out story, and I’m going to make a separate post about that one tomorrow where I’ll share my story. So if you’re the person who asked me that, don’t worry, your question was not ignored and I will answer it! 

Thank you to all who sent me questions! ❤️

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @bitsandbobsandstuff for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Kris, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

Looking back, my first attempt at fanfic was probably when I was 11-years-old and I couldn’t wait for the next ‘Babysitters Club’ book to come out, so I wrote my own story. I think it featured Stacey McGill and horses. I really fucking wish I could find it… But honestly, I didn’t really understand the world of fanfiction until I joined Tumblr. So outside of those little forays when I was younger, I’d say it was last year when I realised it was a thing I could do and people might be interested, so let’s say my 30s.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

When it comes to fanfic, I prefer Reader inserts. They feel more inclusive and frankly, even as a writer it can be easier to imagine myself in the shoes of the reader character (so I can understand their thoughts and feelings and motivations), if I don’t have a specific name attached to them.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

Either first thing in the morning (coffee and morning air are excellent inspiration) or Saturday afternoons.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Constant reading. I’m that nerd at the bus stop or waiting at the movie theatre or walking down the street with my nose in a book. I also try to draw on real life experiences/ situations when I can, it gives stories more texture.

7) In your Safe With Me fic, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

I’m going to be cheeky and say it’s a tie – the dance scene in Chapter 8 and the trigger scene in Chapter 15. The realisations they both had within the few minutes of their dance together felt like such a great payoff for everything up until that point, and I loved imagining Bucky in that black suit (and I just love that song ‘Run to you’). The trigger scene was so much fun just to  resurface and/ or create all Bucky’s memories, especially the ones with the Soldier…they were like mini-stories of their own.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Nope. Everyone has a different vision and every story is unique for a reason.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Clearly, I’m such a sucker for Bucky Barnes. 😊 His character has been through so many things over his lifetime, you can take him in a hundred directions and they can still feel true to source material (both MCU and comics). He can be a battle-weary soldier or a sassy little shit, and it all links back to some iteration of his personality at some point in his life – whether pre-WW2, Winter Soldier days, or now. I’d like to branch out and try others (or maybe other fandoms) at some point, but I’m content with him for now.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Safe With Me?

I knew I wanted the title to be a line of dialogue, because I like the symmetry of finding titles inserted in a story, and I knew I wanted it to be something ‘safety’ related, since that was the theme of the story. In Chapter 3, Bucky gives the reader a little speech at the end, telling her he’ll do anything he needs to protect her, and after re-working that a little, I came up with the ‘you’re safe with me’ line, and that became the title!

12) How did you come up with the idea for Safe With Me?

I wanted to try a series for a long time, but was always  so intimidated by the idea - I’m blown away by the writers on here who do so many series, the time it takes is nuts. For SWM, there were certain themes I personally wanted to find in a story - what it means to be safe, how sometimes evil people can live right next to you, the importance of mental health...all those concepts were used as foundations to the story and the colour was created around them. Sometimes things went in the direction I wanted, sometimes they took unexpected left turns as I was writing - I think you really have to be okay being led by your gut sometimes. Things like lemon drug or Tony’s tech or changing the purpose of the trigger words were random ideas that fell into place. My brain is a weird place to be sometimes.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I’ve thought about doing something else with ‘Bless me father’ (still the strangest, weirdest, dirtiest story I’ve written) maybe a prequel or sequel, but still mulling over ideas.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

There are so many on Tumblr I love, but three in particular I would point out.

@a-splash-of-stucky: Elsa is a literal poet. The way she writes, the images she conjures and phrases she uses, are beyond gorgeous.

@justreadingfics: Ally can set up a scene like you wouldn’t believe. I am also in continual awe of someone who can write so beautifully when it’s not their first language.

@4luvofall: Cristina nails the dialogue every single time. Her characters are always a little sassy and a little funny, and I want to go drinking with them (and her). Outside of Tumblr, my favourite book is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and I would be happy to read Harry Potter every day for the rest of my life.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

No stories, although sometimes I’ll read old dialogue or descriptions and roll my eyes a little! I think it’s important to read your old stuff and recognise how far you’ve come or how your style has changed.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

I have a writing playlist that is mostly Sigur Ros and Sleeping at Last, with a heavy dose of movie soundtracks like Lord of the Rings. But sometimes, I put headphones in and just listen to silence.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

I’ve gotten a little emotional at points, but never full on cried. I have sobbed like a baby while reading though, good lord.

20) Which part of your Safe With Me fic was the hardest to write?

I think the club scene in Chapter 12 was the hardest. The idea was to use the scenery and secondary characters and music to build the tension through the course of the night, until everything collapsed. Finding the right flow and making sure it didn’t feel too rushed was really hard, it took me a long time to work through.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I tend to make an outline. For one-shots, it’s never long – just listing out the key points and scenes I want to hit. For SWM it was long – the outline was more than 15,000 words. Admittedly, I’m somewhat Type A, so I need structure to function. 😊

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Probably my first Stucky story, ‘The language of a kiss’. I was hesitant to post it – it wasn’t long after I read ‘Not easily conquered’ which was one of the most mind-blowing literary experiences of my life. I love the story and have gotten lovely comments on it, but I think AO3 tends to be a better place for Stucky stories, Tumblr leans more toward Reader insert.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Yes! The reader for ‘Safe with me’ was based heavily on yours truly! Most of her dialogue came very easy because it’s how I speak in real life (full of F-bombs and insults that rarely make sense). Some of Bucky’s dialogue and sass was based on my husband, the way those two bickered in the story was pretty close to real life.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Some of the compliments I’ve received for ‘Safe with me’ have been genuinely unbelievable. Several people have said the story inspired them to write again, which I’m so excited to hear. The biggest compliment though, was probably someone telling me the story helped ease them through a depressive episode in their life. That hit particularly close to home and I can’t express how happy I was to hear that.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

My husband and a few close friends. The first time I told my best friend, who is not remotely into fandom, I gave her ‘Safe with me’ at chapter 12 and she read the entire thing overnight and by 8a the next morning I was getting texts saying “are you awake and if so are you writing because you can’t do this to me.” Hearing someone with no interest in Marvel say that was pretty fun.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

Definitely Riz in ‘Safe with me’. I picture him hanging out in his little kiosk in downtown Manhattan, playing Candy Crush and watching the world go by. He has to have some great stories.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Deadlines! I work so much better under pressure. If I ever had to write a thesis, I would wait until two days before it’s due.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

I think it was the ‘Worth Fighting For’ series by @serzhantkris. The plot was based on Mulan, and followed the reader who took her brother’s place in the army during WW2 - she went though basic and got deployed and captured as part of the 107th. She was a feisty and amazing character, and I’m always a sucker for 1940s Bucky. The story is broken out across the three Captain America movies and it is seriously breathtaking – sweet, cheeky, full of action, and completely heartbreaking.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I think I’m going with angst. I like being able to dig into something and maybe cause a little pain in the process. 😉

[bat-besties]

On Impossibility - 6

Chapter 1   Chapter 2    Chapter 3    Chapter 4   Chapter 5  Chapter 7  Chapter 8 Chapter 9

A popular!Logan and loser!Roman high school AU based on @2pointomg’s idea with eventual Prinxiety. 

impossible 

ɪmˈpɒsɪb(ə)l

adjective

·       not able to occur, exist, or be done.

Eg. It is impossible to fund both the sports and drama programmes with the school’s limited budget.

·       very difficult to deal with.

Eg. The situation which Logan Sanders, Student Body President, is in after he convinced the school board to cut the unsuccessful drama programmes is impossible.

·       (of a person) very unreasonable.

Eg. Roman Prince.

To Roman, nothing is impossible. Not following his older brother Patton to acting college, not being a loser taking on the school’s popular Student Body President and definitely not writing and performing an epic school play with no money and six cast and crew members.

Edited by @alpacasarethegreenestanimal, who has an amazing fanfiction on AO3! If you like superheroes, sarcasm and Virgil angst then you’ll love this

@toolazytothinkofcreativename

@entitydark

@romanasanders

@barclays-sides

@cashmeredragon

@jughead-is-canonically-aroace

@immacrazyfangirl

@narniasfinestavengingsociopath

@featuredfander

@what-a-catch-joe

@mightaswellenthuseaboutbooks

@candiukas​

@whatamessofwords 

@zoalis

So close. They were so close.

‘Then this I say, oh noble knight, if you let go of your anger then you could be great. Give up the light – it is so comfortable here in the dark. Vines to hold you close, the canopy to shade you, thorns to protect you. Does the light not burn you?’

Kyle had a blanket cape round his shoulders and was jutting his chin confrontationally towards Roman. His pose was perfect, he knew his lines inside out, and his emphasis was just as Roman had imagined it when writing the speech late at night in his bedroom.

Roman suddenly broke out of character, running his hand through his hair. ‘That was great – really, really. Could we run it again? There’s just – you’ve just got to really feel it.’ Roman hated to be that guy – Kyle had been great, and their priority was to get a feel for the new set and adjust their blocking for the stage. But he had to be perfect. Roman would make him perfect no matter what it took, for although he knew the role was one which stretched his friend he had faith in him to get it right. All through workshopping a boy called Raphael had dominated Ombretto, throwing him into dramatic confrontation with Rosso and drawing him back into introspective monologues. To be honest, it had hurt Roman greatly when Raphael left ‘due to creative differences’ and Kyle had to be pulled from the role of Giallo, but he much preferred his friend’s delivery because he had learnt from Patton the importance of an actor subordinating themselves to the character.  

It was six o’clock on a Saturday night and they had been there all day assembling the set, but Kyle ran the lines again - with more feeling. It wasn’t good enough for Roman, but then again hardly anything was. They moved on and he saw Talyn give Kyle encouraging finger guns from the wings. Kyle returned a small smile. Everyone was tired, but Roman had asked them to run through the whole thing again, so they had. While Patton’s entire year would go to the moon and back for him, Roman’s few friends would paint the Kuiper belt rainbow if he asked them to.

They should have gone home and caught up on homework after putting up the set, but the beauty of the set had transported Roman into ecstasies of inspiration, and he doubted Virgil would leave until the building was shut. The boy for once in his life was not scrolling through Tumblr, listening to music or fiddling with his sweater paws. He just sat starry-eyed in the front row of the seating, hunched forward in his over-sized hoody as he tried to hide a grin behind his hands.

The set Virgil had built was amazing. Fate had finally given the theatre troupe a helping hand as Dahlia’s neighbours had spare planks of wood from a loft extension they had not technically forbidden her from taking. Virgil had understood the aesthetic of Talyn’s designs and had decided to play around with the handmade nature of the set. Basically, it looked like the child of a Victorian toy theatre and the illustrations in a book of fairy tales raised by a goth/steampunk in the hedge of thorns from Sleeping Beauty. Or that’s how Virgil had pitched it. Originally there had been a scaffolding tower, but they had to improvise with the tall metal balcony from West Side Story Patton had once sung on so happily.

Virgil was weirdly proud of himself. He tried to be self-deprecating about his set, however he couldn’t help but be happy with it. Logan had always been complimentary about his work, but he did not have a great understanding of art, and Virgil had suspected the positive feedback was a key bullet point in the Word document ‘How to Get Self-doubting Friend to Apply for College.’ In contrast his new friends had very high standards, so a single nice word from Talyn would go around his head for days and days. Roman had been extremely exacting – a picture of the cliff from the Nightmare before Christmas had literally been ripped off Virgil’s mood board because the smoothness of it ‘didn’t fit the vibe, the emotion’ of the play – and now he was playing in the set like a kid in a candy store. Virgil understood it now, Logan and Roman’s drive for perfection. Oh sure, Logan was a textbook perfectionist and Roman was slapdash and confident in his own abilities, but in his own way the actor was just as meticulous about his work. The play – not yet named because there was not something which fit it well enough – was his baby. And while the set was a part of that brainchild it was Virgil’s own – baby was a weird comparison, it was just…he just had lots of feelings about it he hadn’t had for anything else before, OK? The exercise in 3D space was interesting.  

At 22:00, a janitor finally came around. He peeked his head into the auditorium, then walked into it fully. Kyle was perched on the balcony, which was festooned with sequinned purple fabric vines, and Roman was kneeling in centre stage entreating him to come down, framed by chaotic brambles the size of tree trunks and twisted metal spider webs throwing bizarre shadows onto the wall behind him, covered with sheer green fabric donated by Mrs Damon. He looked at Virgil, who was entranced by the scene.

‘Hey kid, you part of this?’ he spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb the actors. Virgil looked up at him and nodded with a grin.

‘Good on you, kid. I told you that you shouldn’t use your drawing skills for rude caricatures. And now look at you!’

Virgil was rapidly beginning to lose his sense of mystery and magic. ‘That…that was not me. I told you, and I told the principal that that drawing wasn’t by me.’

The janitor took off his hat and sat next to Virgil in a fatherly manner. ‘If you didn’t draw that cartoon, then why was it on your locker, heh?’

Trying to be absorbed into the tear in the seat covering, Virgil gave the man an exasperated look.

‘Well, I’m here to ask you guys to leave. You need to sleep!’ replied the janitor brightly, completely unfazed by Virgil’s silence. He leaned in even closer to him. ‘How long is there left?’

‘Fif-een min’tes.’ was mumbled from behind a wall of purple hair.

‘Fine. You guys promise to look up, then you can have the time.’

‘Thks.’

‘Careful of that balcony. Bit rickety.’ With that Malcom headed into the hallway again, marvelling at the impact that simple sentence of his had made on that punk kid. Permanent sharpie and Tipp-ex on that locker as well. Sometimes kids just need a bit of self-belief.

Exactly fifteen minutes later, Roman bounded off the stage and thundered up to Virgil. Ignoring the fact that Virgil was putting into practice everything he’d learnt trying to disengage Malcom, he grabbed his hands and pulled him to his feet. ‘A cheer for Virgil!’ he yelled to the others.

There were scattered cheers from the cast and crew as they cleared up. ‘Visionary, visionary!’ shouted Roman, throwing his hands in the air.

Virgil blushed. ‘What does that even mean?’

Roman threw himself down on the gangway, pulling the emo down beside him. ‘One who has unique visions!’

Virgil looked at him sceptically. ‘I’m sure that’s not the exact definition.’

‘We can’t all be the calculator watch, can we?’ The annoyance entering Roman’s voice was jarring.

There was a beat of awkward silence as Virgil refused to forgive Roman or defend Logan.

Brightly, Roman grabbed Virgil’s hand and admired his nail polish. He looked up at Virgil and whispered, ‘Visionary, visionary.’ Over his knuckles.

Virgil recoiled and stood up. ‘What the ever-loving fuck was that?!’

Roman face-palmed. ‘It was meant to be…friendly.’

‘It was really weird! And not friendly! That was not in the realm of friendly!’

Roman rocketed to his feet, ‘Sorry to break it to you Virgil, but just because I’m gay, it doesn’t mean that I’m flirting with every straight guy I talk to!’

‘How is that-? It wasn’t- I didn’t even know that! Anyway, I’m not straight either.’

‘Well, fine. I’m not.’ Roman put his hands on his hips.

‘Fine!’

‘Fine!’

The two stood angrily staring at each other before dissolving into laughter.

‘How could you think I was straight?’ howled Roman, ‘And you’re not either? Yes!’ he punched the air.

Virgil was bent over, clutching his stomach. ‘I…I didn’t want to assume…’

Dahlia came up the gangway halfway, since the rest of it was blocked by two dorks rolling around on the floor. ‘We’re going to head, if you guys could lock up.’ Breathlessly, Roman waved her on.

Once the two came to they sat up, lounging against the seating.

Roman studiously didn’t look at Virgil as he spoke to him. ‘Your set – I love it.’

‘I know.’ The emo smirked at him, ‘you spent all evening playing in it.’

Roman’s hand shot to his chest as he gasped, ‘PLAYING! How dare you? I was acting!’ he made a point to gesture dramatically to signal his thespian talent. He put his hand down and turned to Virgil. ‘I do, though,’ he said earnestly, ‘it’s beautiful, and dark, and creepy, and fantastical, and better than I could ever have hoped for. We can do this – we can put on this play.’

Virgil’s insides twisted as he looked at the boy across from him, his face desaturated and pupils dilated by the dark. He wasn’t so sure of success. The costumes needed to be big and bold, and that meant lots of fabric and shiny things in elaborate designs. They had asked to use the black fabric which backed the curtain but had unsurprisingly been turned down, and money from rainbow T-shirt sales had covered enough for a dirndl for Margherita bought online and a shimmery brown and green leotard for the malevolent fairy (nicknamed Bob) after the set had been built, but for now the magnificent hoop skirts of the Evil Queen and flowing robe of Ombretto were impossible to realise.

‘Virgil?’

The emo snapped his eyes from Roman’s face. ‘Yeah. Let’s not count on…let’s not give on up this.’ He made eye contact again. ‘I believe in you. Or whatever. Dork.’

Roman smiled to himself a little. ‘And here I was thinking you were some massive edgelord.’

Virgil raised his eyebrows. ‘You saw my Nightmare before Christmas poster.’

‘True.’ Roman grinned, ‘But you were too cool for my Randy Newman impression.’

Virgil giggled. ‘You had a cowboy hat. And a pink plastic radio. And you were fifteen.’

‘I took it seriously! I wanted to be your friend.’ Roman emphasised each word.

‘Well, I wanted you to stop singing before I cringed myself a six-pack.’

They sat in silence for a while, neither wanting to suggest leaving.

‘I don’t know what I’m going to do with my future.’ Virgil’s head was flung back to look at the set, and his voice was soft.

Roman rolled onto his stomach, supporting his head on his hands. ‘What do you want to do?’

‘This.’

Roman put his hand on Virgil’s and smiled at him reassuringly, ‘Then do it. This is good.’

‘I…’ Virgil took a shaky breath. ‘I can’t. I’m not good enough.’

‘Virgil. I have been to four Broadway shows and twenty-three shows in other towns. I watch bootlegs like other kids watch let’s plays. I read about this stuff. I think you could easily design for a smaller show, and once you go to college…Broadway, baby.’

Virgil felt something suspiciously like hope rise to fill his chest. ‘Why would they take someone like me? From a school like this, which isn’t particularly keen on the arts, if you hadn’t noticed.’

‘Virgil – you have Mrs Damon who would write a book about you, let alone a recommendation letter. You’ve got this production, which will make one hell of an essay. The school is academic, and your grades are good. Besides, Patton did it – my older brother.’

‘I guess. But wasn’t he like some genius or something?’

It was Roman’s turn to break eye contact. ‘Yeah, he is. But we don’t need to be scholarship holders like him or anything. Just good enough.’

Virgil sat up, ‘You’re worried about acting school, princey? Big brother in New York and half-a-billion extracurriculars. Please.’

‘No extracurriculars now. But yes, of course I’m worried. I want to go to the same place as Patton, when we went to check it out with him it was…magical. These past few years it’s like he’s living every single dream I have. And I’m happy for him! I am! I’m super proud, but I don’t want to apply and be rejected, and he’ll be super nice about it…you know.’

‘Do your parents compare you a lot?’

‘No, god no.’ Roman shook his head emphatically. ‘They’re incredibly proud of both of us. It’s me. I do. And I know I shouldn’t…’

He broke off and tried to hide the fact that he was crying. The emo scooted closer and awkwardly pulled him into a loose hug, at which point Roman attached himself to Virgil’s hoodie like a baby koala.

‘Aw, jeez. Come on, dude. Don’t make me give a heartfelt speech. Just like, know, that I think you’re - good.’

‘Huh! Yeah, I am pretty good! Thanks for reminding me, J-Delightful.’ Roman pulled himself up and punched Virgil in the shoulder.

‘Alright, dudebro.’

The boy slumped again. ‘Arggggg. Now you think everything is fine!’

‘You do not look like everything is fine.’

‘Well, yeah, no.’

Virgil just wanted to paint and listen to emo music and be left alone. Why the hell was he landed with looking after overachievers?

‘Wanna come to my house tonight? We could watch Disney, or whatever. My parents would be happy I have someone to invite over.’

‘I would love that! I’ll text the old parents…Odin’s eyepatch! It’s eleven already! We’d better hurry!’

That night as Roman was spread-eagled on his bedroom floor, Virgil tried not to think of the lack of money for costumes, but they joined the usual procession of Logan’s eye bags, situations in which his set would collapse and his plan for the future which marched round his head whenever he tried to sleep.

Increasingly old-school Disney songs sung in bass, a voice passionately and loudly delivering lines or unaffectedly and quietly trying to explain ideas had echoed around his darkened bedroom too, but he preferred to not think about that.

[working-on-becoming-a-better-me]

Day 253—Mar. 23, 2021

Okay, so the numbers for my previous consecutive posts were off by a day (like a day ahead) and February 7′s math was way off, but I googled this! so from here on out, we will be accurate! let’s go bois!

BIG UPDATE BOIS! Essentially? I’VE GOTTEN BETTER! Mental health is better, habits are better, outlook on life is better, productivity... isn’t as high as it was when I first started the blog, but it’s doing MUCH better than November and even January.

coping with minecraft:

So, I’m still addicted to the dream smp minecraft fandom. my friend got me a dream hoodie, bucket hat, and a georgenotfound hoodie for my birthday. but! I’m coping better. I’m behind on streams, and am now catching up during Spring Break. For a while, I was pushing back school work to watch and catch up on streams. I promised myself that during free periods I would work since I was catching up on streams at home, and then... yeah. ANYWAY! I’ve gotten a lot better at that recently by noticing that even fanart accounts (accounts dedicated to mcyt-ers) were talking about how they didn’t watch a phasmaphobia stream because they weren’t interested in it, or talking about how they were behind on streams... it really helped me accept the fact that I can be a real fan and not watch every single stream.

cultural convention:

My international school does events with other international schools but because of covid, we can’t travel. I act and made varsity drama (we call it a different name, but yeah!) and we had virtual conferences. I was incredibly friendly and loud and there were tons of zoom calls. Our schools kinda known for being... uh, stuck up? and kinda elitist. Not like I was being fake, but I was making an effort to talk during calls and be active on group chats made. I joke-flirt a lot and focused my attention on one person. A whole thing ensued, but some of the other actors in my school (there were only 11 of us) were joking abut sending me to “horny jail” and one girl kept apologizing for me. During “lounge sessions” I would interject with what I thought were funny comments and she’d say “again, I’d like to apologize for her behavior” and... uh... I cried at school. Cuz I’ve heard way too many times from too many different people about how I’m embarrassing... BUT.

What really helped was the fact that there were late night zoom calls and I was one of only three kids from my school the first night on a call with around 25 people. Other people said I helped give them a really good first impression of our school, especially considering all the things they’d heard previously. The guy I joke-flirted with (I previously dmed him asking if he was okay with it and he said he was) said on a call that I was one of the funniest people he’d met in a while. It was a huge confidence booster in knowing that the efforts I was making were paying off :)

confidence:

Since starting this blog, I’ve been trying to be nicer to myself. I’ve been practicing more positive self speak and have recently realized the difference between the way I speak about and to myself and how some other people do. Being nicer to myself out loud has helped a lot in feeling better and more comfortable.

I wanted to try wearing black masks, but my mom bought the wrong kind. They had patterns and I was really nervous because I didn’t really want to stand out. I used to not care, but... I dunno. Teenagehood and whatnot. We wear uniforms too, so the only differences are in accessories, hair, etc. I’m not sure why, but I was really nervous to wear the new mask patterns to school. But I told myself it was an experiment, to force me to be more confident. I actually forgot I was wearing it until I saw myself. And since I’d posted on my private story saying I was doing this to try and be more comfortable, some of my friends came up to me and told me it was actually cute. Shows that I really had nothing to stress for. Not that it was really self-expression, but for me, and anyone else who needs to hear this, no one cares. Maybe they even wish they had the courage to wear different things as well.

mcyt mantra:

I have a mantra now! adapted from something drunk Wilbur Soot said during Quackity’s livestream, I think. I repeat it when I’m happy and when I’m nervous or scared and I guess... I dunno, I’m like classically conditioning myself? Except not really since I’m doing it out of order. But yeah! get yourself a mantra!!!

character day:

more with confidence! spirit week is just an excuse for kids to not wear their uniforms, but I put a lot of effort into an Ace Ventura outfit I put together. I only saw around two or three other people actually dressed up as characters, but I had so much fun and thought I looked amazing. I was proud that I wasn’t a normie ;]

Also... it’s so humid in this country and the rubber bottoms of my boots actually stuck to the pavement and fell off. I spent the day without the bottoms of my shoes and it was so funny. Even my mom laughed after (she laughed for so long, it was adorable) and she said only I could pull it off and that the friend I walk to school with everyday is lucky to have me as a friend. My mom was telling me about how she never had a friend like me growing up, just so weird and goofy. And it made me happy to think that I can bring so much... zaniness to people’s lives

ao3:

been writing a lot more recently! haven’t been posting on my writing blog since it’s all fanfiction, but it’s helping me write! I update one of my stories every two weeks. When I feel like I’m not doing enough, it’s a nice reminder that I actually can be consistent. I may be getting better... who knows :)

nehs:

been editing lots of papers even though I don’t need to anymore since I made vp of my school’s nehs chapter. but it’s helping me learn too! I’m very instinctual when writing, but obviously when I’m editing I can’t just ask them to change something because “it doesn’t sound right”. So I google explanations and then tell the people who’s papers I’m editing. It helps both them and me!

ipad/drawing:

got a new ipad for my birthday. been messing around with procreate. been doodling in class (only dream team characters so far lol). might be getting better... hopefully I am!

also have a sticky notes app on my ipad and been creating to-do lists! yay!

teaching:

been teaching students in cambodia! last year I had a teaching partner who guided lessons mostly. this year I’m the leading teacher. It’s helping with my fear of leadership and responsibility.

social:

still not the most social, but more active on snapchat now with keeping in contact with some of the cultural convention kids. covids made it harder to keep in contact, and I’ve been trying to reach out more to my closest friend who I’ve not hung out with in a while. not that we don’t see each other at lunch every other day, but I walk to school with, share a class and after school study hall with another friend. so comparably, I’ve spent less time with my closest friend.

recently had a spa day with my small neighborhood gang! my friend painted my other guy friend’s nails! yes! we used face masks as well :)

general update:

- went to the pool the other day and now I’m hecka burnt

- yesterday I wrote letters for honor society points, caught up on math hw, wrote a reflection and plan for a class, reviewed chinese with my mom, met up with my “mentor” for a class

- have been helping a lot of people! am currently a part of two people’s pieces for their theater class and I have a rehearsal later today!

- was doing a lot of work as an officer of thespian honor society—I’m likely going to be on the officer team again next year and, until a few weeks ago, I hadn’t felt like I’d been doing much and was feeling unworthy. but then I was proactive about something and updated our sponser (school’s drama director) on what we as officers decided. felt... prettyyy goooodddd :)

- !!! yesterday I went on a walk and brought money and my student ID, ready to buy bubble tea, but then... I mustered up what little willpower I had and then didn’t buy it. Instead, I bought surprise lilies for my mom (and some groceries she asked me to get)   - been trying to cut out unnecessary sugars and foods. if I’m not hungry, I shouldn’t eat, but also... I listen to my body and if I’m feeling really snacky, I’ll indulge   - recently been craving ice cream, but not the flavors in my fridge so instead I’m just not eating ice cream at all and ate an apple once as a substitute :D

- not sure if I’ve been sleeping more, but it kinda feels like I have been?

- started taking pictures of the world when I think it’s pretty one sunny afternoon when I was laughing lots with a friend... especially right after cul con, I was taking a lot more pictures...

- just been more active (not physically... though occasionally, when bored, I’ll stretch some... but I should try and get more active (I mean... the walk yesterday?))... creatively speaking (ao3, with art), socially online (cul con kids), in person (making plans over spring break!)...

- I just feel like I’ve been putting more effort into life

of course, there are the down bits, like for one project based class where the end product is due in May-ish and it focuses on the “process”... I’m just... not... process-ing. I chose a writing project (why). I’m focusing a lot on my side projects, but not my class writing one :/ as well as that, when assignments pick up, I do too, but when I get down time I feel like I deserve it (which I do!) but I don’t work ahead. I’ve been really busy though. Teaching got cancelled because the school in Cambodia shut down unfortunately due to covid. But before spring break, I was teaching, editing papers, writing my own for lang, doing cul con and then catching up on work I missed because of cul con, studying for tests, attending rehearsals... there’s a lot going on and I need to recognize that I am doing so well, especially compared with a few months prior when I was in a much darker place.

mostly stress has been my plague, but yeah! also in the span of one week, two classes bumped up a grade (or half a grade... we have letters and + system (no -)) so my previously low gpa became slightly less low! It gave me confidence that I can end the semester strong!

procrastination: another plague. I keep delaying setting up college counseling meetings and have delayed this update for a while now... and the project-class...

also have babysitting jobs again so we gon get some monnaayyyyy! (job is not from people we met at the pool, but we did meet people at the pool and their kids liked me so much they asked me mom to get me to babysit them... another boost to confidence! yay :) I’m a likeable person :] )

thanks for sticking around! I’m glad I’m getting this update in because I’m doing... really well :D hope you guys are also doing well or that it gets better!