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eyeofnewtblog · 4 months

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Things that happen at home:

Asked my mom what she wanted for American Mother’s Day, and she said she wanted an empanada press. It kinda shorted me out for a second because she’s a white Irish (descendant) Catholic city girl, and she only ever makes Hispanic food with one person, who already has all the tools.

Me: Is Tia Lorenza teaching you how to make empanadas next time you see her?

Mom: Well, no, but I found a recipe online for her favorite kind. She says it’s pineapple. I’m gonna try it out before I give her some that I make, because she’s really picky, and even though she’s really nice about it, you can tell when she doesn’t like something. But I also want it because they’re perfect for making Cornish pasties and little French meat pies.

Me: Oh, that actually makes a lot of sense.

For those of you who want the tried and true recipe for wonderful Cornish pasties…google the recipe, it’s literally yummy meat wrapped in dough, you cannot fuck this up, season meat the way you like it and then press it into dough. The original idea was to reheat or re eat leftovers, so always look at your leftovers as “how can I pack this as a lunch for tomorrow”

Just to clarify, my mom met Tia Lorenza at church. Since I was 14 years old, my mom has been totally A Okay with Tia Lorenza nailing me in the back of the head with a shoe for doing Shit I Should Not Have Been Doing. She’s my Auntie in every way that matters. When I got my first apartment she showed up with three big boxes of cleaning supplies and made me go over every square inch of that apartment so that I knew how to keep it “properly” take care of my home, and then

#humans are space orcs #being hit with a shoe builds character #wash your walls #dough really is eggs and flour

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barksbog · 14 days

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one of the things i worried about before i brought Leon home was that i couldn't cope with the DogSmell but it's just a comfort smell now and i huff him to calm down

#also turns out if you wash your dog every now and than they barely smell and don't leave #so much residue that it discolors your walls and needs to be scrubbed off hands #pointing at my dad painting a dog high grey stripe on his wall instead of just washing his golden retriever sometimes #the poor thing had horrible mite and fungal issues and he still wouldn't give him baths #idk most of my neighbours dogs also leave some Thick residue #the smelliest leon time is when he is gassy

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nikoisme · 9 months

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Thinking hard so I have to share it with someone

Thinking about a man who's been suffering so endlessly only to return with more bloodshed he so desperately wanted to get rid of. How long will it take to clean those halls? How long until there are no longer blood stains stuck to every nook and cranny, or how long did the blood stick to him? Did it dry? Or did he desperately wash it off just afterwards because how could he ever embrace his wife looking like that?

Or was that who he was now? Did he ever accept the blood? Did he accept the fact it'll never leave him? Did he ever think the blood will follow him home?

oh my god. ohh my god. it's,, it's too early in the morning for me to think. now i'm thinking so hard. I am thinking so soo hard

thank you for deciding my thoughts for the day i am going to wither slowly and painfully now.

#did that blood EVER dry?#what happens when you ache to go home. somewhere where you can rest and be in peace #only to immediately spill blood on the floor.#did those blood stains ever come off? or are the walls still the color of rust.#did you wash off the blood and gore so your wife could recognize you.#or so you could recognize yourself.#asks #why must you do this to me. thank you.

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witchcraftingboop · 23 days

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I need the people who are on their "clean/stir with intention" shit to discover consecrated floor and door washes. Like I just wanna see them thrive on a good abre camino floor wash and their whole "intention is everything/enough" vibe switch up

#go to your local botanica and open thine eyes type shit #be not afraid the road is open #or like a wall of protection wash #sweet herbs and chinese ones are also p solid #but y'all just be 'intention stir/sweep' and leave it at that #I feel like Beyonce 'baby lemme upgrade you'#that or a local shady seller opening my coat to be like 'hey kids wanna try this on for size' but instead of weed it's bottles #boop's rambles #witchblr #road opener #abre camino

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batsplat · 3 months

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didn't really warrant a place in a post about 2012, but was reminded of marc being asked about his relationship with his three rivals in july of 2013

#'going quite well' 'good enough' 'really good'#'normal relationship' 'cordial relation' 'really good friends'#of course the obvious implication here is that marc didn't see valentino as his competition lol. that crept up on him #you're not HAPPY for your rivals when they win come off it #marc was regularly saying things that made it clear he thought valentino was SO washed #genuinely would've driven me up the wall lmao #//#brr brr

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dailykugisaki · 4 months

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Day 217 | id in alt

She's a county girl, Inumaki. Give her a break.

(Right to left💥)

#dailykugisaki #jjk #kugisaki nobara #zenin maki #inumaki toge #Kugisaki didn't have time to doom scroll like everyone else did. she knows fashion she knows her shoy #if you say shibidi toilet at her she'll hit you in the throat #just for everyone to be aware. my Kugisaki is not bisexual she dosent like men she's a fucked up comp het lesbian #i was gonna add itadori instead of Inumaki but he dosent have the mental capacity to remeber or look up that people said gay to mean happy #so Inumaki it is for your everyday needs #I really took the novel saying that Inumaki is the “best to talk to” to heart bc what the fuck #Inumaki is everywhere here now what the fuck #my fav way of drawing maki is joyous #shes too damn serious all the time when i see her i need her to look like a freshly washed plushie y'know #op has never owned a plushie in their life #i like to think that Maki stares at Kugisaki and its basically the equal of running full force into a wall and getting hit by 15 planes #maybe more. absolutely #i am the napper i take naps

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micamicster · 4 months

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Just had such an intensely annoying experience i instantly lost all further motivation to do shit today

#trying to do laundry in my new building for the first time #put the load in try paying with my credit card where it says Insert Card Here #keep getting ERROR back #try with different cards #no luck #machine used to have coin slots but they have been removed so no way to put cash into it #finally spot ‘refill your card!’ box on the wall of laundry room #this machine only takes cash. says it takes $5 $10 $20s #luckily I have cash in my pocket. try to put $5 in #machine spits it out. WRONG BILL. INSERT $10 #ok so there’s a minimum i need to pay #leaving my laundry in the washer run upstairs to get more cash. I have some 20s and some 5s and some 1s #ok trying a twenty! machine spits it out. WRONG BILL INSERT $10 #machine literally only accepts 10s #try asking a guy in the lobby for change he’s got $3 total #have to leave my laundry leave the building run to the (get this) laundromat next door #ask for change for a 20. am eyed with suspicion #laundromat next door has exactly one 10 dollar bill in the place #am able to go back and buy a card (this cost $5) and put money on it and pay for the washing machine #this building is run by sick freaks

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pirateswhore · 1 year

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watching American home-reno shows, and every time they don't include a hand-held shower head, I die inside.

#FUCK OVERHEAD SHOWER HEADS #fuck fixed shower heads #HOW am I supposed to properly wash my ass n feet ?#by the time the water drips from my head down its gonna be dirty #how do you wash your crotch ? you don't.#hand held shower heads with wall hangers >>>>>

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rimouskis · 1 year

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so I've gotten into perfume

#or rather I've gotten into phlur lol #i asked my very fashionable and of-the-moment sister for perfume recs for my birthday a while back and she gave me:#1. the missing person travel size 2. the nest golden nectar travel size and 3. the replica by the fireplace travel size #and I BLEW through missing person I loved it so much I had to get the full bottle #I got the travel tangerine boy as a summer scent and while I think it has poor lasting power I love the smell and plan to rebuy #I got the travel father figure just yesterday lol I wanted to try a fig scent #I bought the ellis brooklyn sunfruit travel size for my eurotrip this year and mostly used it up there #and juliette has a gun's not a perfume superdose is another recent purchase. I couldn't smell the normal perfume well #but I like skin scents and gave the superdose a try and could smell it!#i want to test out some diptyque scents... I walked into a diptyque store in london but the scent wall was being monopolized by someone els #so i didnt end up testing anything lol #anyways... what are your favorite scents???#missing person is MY SCENT i adore it and really want to branch into using the body wash/lotion/candle #also im ignoring the imaginary authors tiny tester bottles to the right... i bought an exploration kit from them A YEAR ago and honestly...#I didn’t like a single scent :/

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tankgotstuckinthecircusgate · 10 months

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"Why didn't you stop me?" by Mitski

#quick cringy thing bc i have no time to draw these days but my brain is rotting for them #they're mitski coded your honor #“washing machine heart” is Lee coded af #thompkean #lee thompkins #barbara kean #sorry ok ??#also im so deeply in love w s4 bc all characters are so different from the beggining khjjjjjjjj #gotham fox #gotham #they make me punch walls. literally #totally normal about this scene (lying)#avart

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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 4 months

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So apparently clothes need fresh AIR to AIR dry. I found that out because I WonderWashed all my boxers and hung them over the shower curtain without opening any windows and left them there for two days while I took care of a baby bird Elsewhere, and now they smell like gym shoes suffering from a yeast infection

#hoo sweet baby jesus #Yeah. Kids…. When you get your own place; don’t do what I did LOL #Gonna have to get Command wall hanging stuff and a clothesline so I can hang whatever I wash in front of an open window #It is NASTY

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toytulini · 6 months

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but also @ prev post dont care for the shaming. have you maybe considered the correlation of depression and not changing sheets often might have a Different Connection?

#toy txt post #'no wonder yall are depressed' you mean maybe 'youre all depressed no wonder its hard to change your sheets!'? maybe? just maybe?#that said i beg you dont do a bare ass mattress. if nothing else try a mattress protector please #it doesnt have to be a crazy one like i now have that encases the whole bed you can do one thats just like. a fitted sheet #i just have had my pets be so so gross and then on top of that my fucking wall????? gets wet?????? in the winter??????????????#so. full mattress encasing waterproof mattress protector it is #no but i really should do laundry today #and if our guest is gone i should strip the bedding on that bed and wash it so its ready for my friends to visit. unless my brother comes #home? still unclear on that. boy what are you DOING.

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simplyghosting · 2 years

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Person: You’re so quiet all the time.

Me: *biting my tongue for the past 3 hours, trying not to be a clean freak or insulting by asking if I can redo all of their laundry*

Me: haha you think so?

#ghost posts #mom I know cleaned everything on quick wash #including heavily spoiled baby clothes #bc she didn’t have time to run regular loads regularly I think #but everything smelled like urine and I wanted to fix it so bad #but I didn’t want to make her feel bad so I kept holding my tongue #like put me in that room for a week I will fix everything #I should just be like my grandmother and be a maid #like sit down I know you are tired I will fix this #put me in a room with dawn dish soap and I toothbrush you’ll be able to see your reflection on the walls #anyway when that same mom was out i moped all of her floors and scrubbed the toilets

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againstme · 10 months

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you white people and your interest in grimy people with piss stains all over their carpets and shit stains on their mattress because they don’t have sheets and don’t wash their ass is insane. “but the dick is so good” but is it clean. is the dick clean? please

#please raise your standards please please #inb4 people also call me ableist for this… that is NOT what i mean #i mean a grimy kyle who has one horrible looking toothbrush that he barely uses #and hair all in the drains and on the shower wall that doesn’t wash his towels and they’re crusty #shit stains on the toilet type of shit.#depression and the lack of being able to take care of urself bc of it is different #at least to me because it’s not purposeful #this type of guy KNOWS he can change it but willingly chooses not to #and doesn’t want to use a condom because his dick is soooo big and he wants to Feel Everything type of guy

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fingertipsmp3 · 10 months

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Just remembered another fucked up paint story (will put in tags because idk I like talking in tags more than actually in the post)

#so my friend works in a shop in which they do a lot of stuff with tools. and they’ve recently moved location so they didn’t have a tool #board or anything. so she’s there by herself this one day; it’s a quiet day (because they’ve just opened and no one knows they’re there)#and she’s like ‘i’ve got this giant plank of wood; i’m going to make a tool board i can mount on this wall’. so she gets it sized #how she wants it and idk.. cuts and sands it. don’t ask me i’m not good at carpentry. but then she’s like ‘i want to paint this black so th #tools will show up better and it’ll show up against the wall and look good’ so she finds some black acrylic paint in the shop #quickly she realises that the shit is watery as fuck and it will probably take 6-7 coats to be opaque and she’s like.. i don’t have that #kind of time. i work 7 hour shifts. i have to serve customers and fix stuff with my tools #so she calls up this 83 year old man that she randomly knows? i still don’t know how she met this man. not that it’s weird to know an 83 #year old man but i still don’t know under what circumstances she met him or why they continue each other’s acquaintance. anyway.#she rings him and he’s like ‘i’ve got this black paint that was my granddad’s. it’s yours if it’s still functional as paint’#so she takes him up on that and he drives to the shop (no idea if this man has a license or can see or even should be driving btw)#and drops off this gigantic tin of pre-war black paint. she opens it and it’s rock solid. the brush doesn’t go in. she has to stab it with #a chisel. however once she does that; the paint underneath is like a dream. the texture is perfectly smooth and opaque in one coat #she finishes painting though and her hands and forearms are COVERED in the stuff. and it doesn’t wash off #by the time she came to see me and told me this story she’d showered three times and scrubbed her arms and most of it was still on there #i was like ‘you realise that you are going to die of lead poisoning from this pre civil war lead paint right?’ and she was like ‘yep’#‘but look at the tool board!’ ‘fuck the tool board does look great actually’ ‘right??’#so that’s the story of the fucked up paint. what made me a little crazy is that that century old paint dried faster than whatever paint my #dad gave me to paint that model bomb shelter. how does that shit make sense #it didn’t dry up in the can over the course of a hundred years but it dried on the board. explain #personal

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septiccoffeefreak · 11 months

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Apparently when someone asks what you listen to to relax, Tool and Nirvana are NOT the right answer.

Like maybe it's my adhd but I'm straight up vibing, and i'm sorry if you aren't down to chill out to the Prison Song by SOAD but buddy, they're trying to build a prison. They're trying to build a prison. For you and me.

#like i'm sorry but you don't feel encased and comforted by the wall of sound???#you don't let it wrap around you like a blanket???#wash over you like a tidal wave???#you don't experience the peace of feeling overwhelmed and oversaturated? of feeling your thoughts melt away and there is only music left?#im listening to metal and grunge and feeling like coming home #in a loud and messy kind of way #in the way that there's dirt under your fingernails and blood in your teeth but you're here with your people #your pack #your crowd #and you collapse on the old worn couch your grandmother used to have and turn on the television #like you don't feel that???? is that just me?????#full disclosure I also listen to them to jam out #I'll listen to them anytime #but I just. I guess i never realized how removed I am from how other people experience music.#original posts

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