#was this too harsh?
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Your son: What are unholy things?
Zeke: Why don't you ask your dad? He does a lot of unholy things to your mom.
Levi: Mind your language in front of my son if you don't wanna get chopped by me. You bearded piece of shit!
Son: Dad you're not supposed to say that! That's a horrible thing to say.
Zeke: (mocking chuckle) Being a father must be fun, you can take lessons from your son
Levi: Too bad you'll never experience the fun. Since no female would like to put your kid in their ovaries.
Zeke:.......
Wanna laugh more? Checkout the masterlist of Funny Minishots hopefully they'll make you laugh too!
#was this too harsh?#lol#levi ackerman#levi#levi x you#levi x reader#levi x y/n#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman x reader#levi x reader fluff#levi ackerman x female reader#levi ackerman x fem! reader#dadvi ackerman#daddy levi#dad levi#levi aot#captain levi#levi heichou#levi vs zeke#zeke jaeger#zeke yeager#aot zeke#aot incorrect quotes
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my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.
i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.
point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.
i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.
i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.
i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.
(i think i was...six?)
anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.
(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)
so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?
so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.
the compost pile was full of worms.
she then told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and go to heaven, and be able to talk to the worms face to face. that i'd be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident, driven only by excessive Love, and that she was positive they would forgive me because worms have six hearts and no malice.
at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.
and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.
but because she loved me.
#anecdotes#memories#worms#moms#the hazards of recreationally lying to children#dont treat my grandpa too harsh#story time#stories#babylon#animal death#religion
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#today is my bday#yaaaaaaay#let's celebrate it with something new because I'm learning how to make animations#please don't be too harsh this is my first gif👉👈#simon ghost riley#simon riley#cod#call of duty#mw2#661ave
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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gourmrolllll
reblog to gourmroll your mutuals <3
#rainworld art#rain world art#rain world animation#rw animation#rw slugcat#slugcat#rw gourmand#rw downpour#i am very proud of this it looks nice#it's a little too much texture and i think the facepalm is too harsh#but i still like it#:]#the frames on this bad boy are so silly i got reaction images out of this#might turn this into a few stickers for myself#the birds rainworld art
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I'm pissed off to see that Palestine is not trending on here. I know that we all have interests we want to talk about, but this week is another global strike, Palestine should be the number one trending, and it's not even number 10. You can put aside your interests for one week. Bisan and so many others are begging us to use our voices to pressure our governments to put an end to this genocide. MILLIONS of people are counting on us, PLEASE don't look away no matter how upset and tired you are. We have the luxury of being able to just put our phones down and going off to do something to feel better. But just this once, for ONE WEEK, you can put aside your discomfort and SPEAK UP. How many people have to die for you to care.
#im sorry if this comes off as harsh but im just so. tired.#how hard is it for you to stop buying from shit companies that actively fuel genocide#how hard is it for you to stop publicly posting about your interests and speak up#obviously you can take time to yourself and talk about your interests in private#but this is TOO IMPORTANT#free palestine#free gaza#eyes on palestine#eyes on rafah#hands off rafah#palestine
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Listen to me Suzanne Collins did not have to give Katniss and Peeta a history before the games. She did NOT have to do that. She could have just had their story begin when Peeta's name was called. She could have had them be total strangers until the moment of the reaping.
Like: "And the boy tribute is... Peeta Mellark!" Katniss: Who's that? Or she could have made them vaguely familiar with each other! Peeta's name is called and Katniss just thinks, Oh, I know that name! He's in my class, actually. Poor boy... Anyway!
Either way, SC could have written the rest of the story exactly the same! I think many authors would have done that! Because if Peeta's purpose in the book was to be Gale's competition, to be one of the 3 corners of a love triangle, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE WAY TO DO IT!! But that's NOT how she did it because that's NOT what Peeta is.
And who is he? To Katniss, Peeta's someone who saved her and her family and received nothing in return except a beating. Peeta's someone she has had her eye on but has never worked up the courage to talk to. Peeta's someone she associates with kindness and hope. And all this before the start of the events of the book! Just because WE, the READERS, met Gale before Peeta and immediately felt a connection with him does NOT mean that was Katniss's experience! And that's what SC is trying to tell us!
To dismiss Katniss and Peeta's past as unimportant or inconsequential compared to whatever Katniss and Gale have in the present is to fundamentally misunderstand Katniss as a character and, as a result, condemn oneself to never fully understand the choices she makes in the future.
Suzanne Collins wrote it that way on purpose because she had something to say. And no one will ever be able to convince me that something wasn't "It was always going to be Peeta".
#thg#everlark#peeta mellark#katniss everdeen#the hunger games#sorry i hope this one's not too harsh#i just has to let it out lol#I'm not saying people only like gale because they misunderstand SC's writing#obviously everyone has preferences and that's great snd normal#but SC wrote Katniss to have preferences too?#and those preferences are pretty subtle at times I'll admit#but sometimes they're so glaringly obvious#i struggle to empathize with people who don't understand these books and honestly that's a me problem#but it really is difficult when people seem to hate Katniss because she didn't make THEIR choices#okay rant over
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perhaps...skyward sword zelda? 🙇♂️ or midna!
both...
#wafflesart#requests#legend of zelda#skyward sword#twilight princess#midna#zelda#midzelink#groozelink#I believe impa's arrival and rescue for sksw zelda was much too close a call and the reason why impa was super harsh on link#should have put scars on the both of them aha
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bed hair (feat. depression ™)
#Hazbinhotel#Hazbin hotel Lucifer#hazbin hotel#lucifer#lucifer Morningstar#vivziepop#vivziepop fanart#depression#waking up in the middle of the afternoon is a mood#not liking your reflection too#we both need a therapist luci#goddamnit#being a fallen angel sure seems harsh
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Rwrb Marketing: enemies to lovers!
Rwrb in reality: absolute fucking idiots to lovers
#maybe my definition of enemies is too harsh or something#but I just never saw it that way ever#Alex is just a stubborn stubborn oblivious man#and Henry is Henry#anyway I should sleep#it’s 1:30 am#rwrb#red white and royal blue
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I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.
Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.
The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.
#critical role#cr3#orym#dorian#dorym#text post#cr discourse#'dorian deserved that actually and is being stupid by agreeing with ludinus'#'orym was too mean and needs to be quiet about his trauma'#just say you don't understand their characters#or that they are characters#you don't have to agree with them. they can make decisions you wouldn't make and disagree with#its good tv regardless#dorian didnt deserve that and orym was too harsh#dorian needed to be reminded of the consequences of indulging those ideas and viewpoints and orym is tired of this discussion happening#these things can coexist#neither of them have the whole picture here. we can't judge them based off of what we as viewers know#dorian didn't see first hand what the ruby vanguard has done. only what the spider queen did so thats on his mind more than anything#orym didnt see first hand (nor hear many details) about opal and cyrus. only what the vanguard has been doing to them for months#let them bicker and argue#its the best part#only going near the discourse because i have been waiting years for more of this and bitches on twitter are complaining about it#and often from people who don't even like orym (or sometimes dorian). go back to ignoring them and let me enjoy this moment in peace#i know i am adding to the discourse but i needed to find other people who want more dorym relationship drama before we get more fluff
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Why is that? You know the reason. I'm asking if you know it.
#the rings of power#tropedit#rings of power#galadriel#elrond#elrondedit#elrond peredhel#galadrieledit#ropedit#tolkienedit#robert aramayo#morfydd clark#galadriel x elrond#*mine#gifs#ringsofpowerdaily#ringsofpowersource#dailyflicks#filmtvcentral#cinematv#nenya#middle earth#s2#i love sassy but maybe too harsh elrond
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oh god there's two of them now
#click for better quality guh i made this so small my bad#here quick shitty yaoi drawing#i only played the remake for 1 hour and oh god.....it's actually great so far....perhaps i treated bloober too harsh.....#i havent draw harry in a while :( he looks weird sorry#silent hill#james sunderland#harry mason#sundermason#<--- if you MUST!#treqaww
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Down time
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Lovingly tucking your rival’s hair behind his ear and telling him you hate him: Akechi’s attempt to make sense of his contradicting feelings
#persona 5#shuake#akeshu#shuakeshu#akechi goro#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#ame draws#based on a tweet#man I… I just love them#akechi dragging his hand softly on akira’s hair as he’s trying to make sense of what he’s feeling and he#blurts out harsh words but his face doesn’t follow and he just looks Like That#we don’t talk about akira’s crisis but oh boy is he going through one too
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What if Ratio's s/o is feeling a little insecure about herself and Ratio's like "Are you saying I have bad taste? 🤨 Quite dumb of you to say. Allow me to show you how much I adore you..."
Fingers his s/o to the point where she squirts, and then stuffing his cock inside her cunny while whispering about how much he loves her...
"perfection is not defined by arbitrary standards imposed by society. true beauty emanates from authenticity, and you, my love, possess an authenticity that shines brighter than any star in the cosmos."
CW; insecure reader, fingering, squirting, overstimulation, penetration (v)
he'd be offended (lowkey) because he thinks very highly of you! so don’t blame him when he frowns, a slight downward tilt on his lips as he asks why you would ever feel / think this way
"are you saying I have bad taste? quite dumb of you to say so." despite his harsh words, his tone is soft and comforting, wrapping his arms around you in the process, head resting on your shoulder
you are literally the most amazing person he's ever met (I would say perfect but he knows nobody is perfect), he just couldn't wrap his head around your reasons for being insecure, but he understands that everybody has their low days, and it just so happens to be yours!
and what good is he as your boyfriend if he doesn't cheer you up and show you just how beautiful you are to him?
plants kisses on the side of your neck lovingly, and you giggle softly as his hair tickles you, making him chuckle between his kisses. separates himself from you before grabbing your wrists and leads you to the bed, gesturing for you to lie down
"god, you are beautiful."
leans down to kiss you passionately, tongue running along your bottom lip as he removes your pants, flinging it to the side of the room. you pull back to catch your breath a few seconds later, eyes flickering away from his intense gaze. his red eyes burning straight through the wall you built, staring right into the deepest part of your soul, and you suddenly feel incredibly vulnerable
"I'm not..."
your boyfriend's head shakes, a sigh leaving him, "then allow me to prove you otherwise, show you just how much I adore you." your eyes meet his once again, and you feel your cheeks heating up at his statement
with a small nod of head as consent, his hand reaches for your face, cupping your cheek for a moment before moving down to your neck, to your collar bones, his mouth following after the trail he left behind
you squirm in place, feeling extremely insecure about yourself, today really isn't your day. he notices this almost immediately, and distracts you by sucking on your nipple through your shirt, letting his warm tongue prod at the perky bud
whines leave your lips as his hands trail further down, dipping in your damp panties, drawing slow, sensual circles on your clit with his middle finger, "ratio..."
your body tenses when a finger slips in, "stunning. absolutely stunning." a breathy laugh escapes him as your hands fly to the back of his neck, pulling him down to kiss him fervently, "feels good, hmm?"
another finger joins the first, embarrassing squelching sounds fill the room as he pumps them into you with precision, hitting all your sensitive spots. it doesn't take long before you come undone on his fingers, and you feel a shudder run down your body when he smiles, "one more."
he doesn't give you the chance to calm down, plunging his fingers back in, and you clench around him, hard. the overstimulation making your head go empty, all negative thoughts of your body leaving your brain
when he hits that one spongy spot deep in you, your nails instinctively dig into his shoulders, successfully making your boyfriend smirk at your reaction
"wait— slow down! or I'm gonna—"
and of course he doesn't heed your warning, pushing and curling his fingers at a faster pace, thumb rubbing your clit, the occasional brush of his ring leaves your knees weak, your hips bucking on its own accord, trying to get that delicious friction again
a sudden warmth fills your core, your brain shutting down, and all you could hear was white noise buzzing inside you, your legs clenching together with his arm still between them
ratio curses under his breath at the sight before him — you with your back arched, eyes closed, mouth open, hips grinding against his hand as you ride out your high. he knew you were cumming, but he did not expect you to squirt, drenching his lower arm with your juices, the wetness shining under the bedroom light
your legs are pushed apart as you feel him climb between them, the clanking sound of his belt falling to the ground has you opening your eyes. you find yourself whining his name pathetically at the sight of him stroking his erect dick, the tip red and angry, curving at a slight angle with his veins looking like they may burst anytime
"apologies, my dear, but my patience is running out."
air gets knocked out of your lungs the moment he pushes all the way to the hilt, pulling a scream out from you. your body shakes uncontrollably from the overstimulation, hands desperately clawing at his chest and shoulders, trying to ground yourself with all your might
his hands grab at your hips, lifting you up slightly to thrust into you better as he kisses you again, this time so hard and rushed that your teeth clanks at some point. he'd pull away when you push at him, almost suffocating from the kiss, and you'd watch with tears in your eyes as he grits his teeth, jaw flexing each time he hits your cervix, soft grunts sounding at the back of his throat with each thrust
"you. are. absolutely. phenomenal." each word comes out hoarsely with each thrust, "every inch of you, perfection." tears stream down your face at his words, tiny gasps of whatever insecurities leave your body, "and don't you ever forget that."
you feel your pussy spasming around him, you're so so near to the edge, and you know he will he send you over with ease — angling his hips at the perfect angle, his own high approaching with each spasm of your warm gummy walls
"fuck— cum with me, please."
and you tense, gripping down on him like a vice, barely registering his groan of your name against your neck as you fall over the edge yet again. spurts of hot liquid fill your insides, leaving you a whimpering, crying mess under him. your boyfriend above you pants against your neck, his arms giving out slightly to press his body weight on you, trapping you beneath him, the weight and heat a comforting anchor for you to come back down
it takes a few minutes for the both of you to recover, and when you do, he's already kissing your collarbones, hands kneading your body softly, massaging at the red hand prints of his grip on your hips from before
sobs leave you unexpectedly as you wrap your arms around him, breaking down against his chest, wetting the fabric there. ratio's hands reach for your hair, pushing the fringe on your face back behind your ear, his thumb brushing the stray tears away from your eyes
soft tenderness appears in his own eyes as he leans closer to you, forehead touching yours, "while I may not fully comprehend the intricacies of your emotions, rest assured that my commitment to you remains unwavering. you are the reason my heart beats with such fervor, and you are cherished beyond measure."
you break into small giggles as more tears pour, and your hand reaching up to cup his face when you notice his nose and eyes turning red, tears welling in those beautiful shades of red and purple
"I love you."
#i took way too long with this#wanted it to be perfect because i know insecurities can be harsh on everybody#i also think he is the type to cry / be vulnerable whenever he is with his s/o#but that's just my opinion#if him crying at the end is ooc to you#sorry :/#🀥 lan’s writings!#☃︎ anons!#hsr#honkai star rail#dr ratio#dr ratio x reader#hsr dr ratio#veritas ratio#veritas ratio x reader
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