#was this too harsh?

[abiatackerman]

Your son: What are unholy things?

Zeke: Why don't you ask your dad? He does a lot of unholy things to your mom.

Levi: Mind your language in front of my son if you don't wanna get chopped by me. You bearded piece of shit!

Son: Dad you're not supposed to say that! That's a horrible thing to say.

Zeke: (mocking chuckle) Being a father must be fun, you can take lessons from your son

Levi: Too bad you'll never experience the fun. Since no female would like to put your kid in their ovaries.

Zeke:.......

Wanna laugh more? Checkout the masterlist of Funny Minishots hopefully they'll make you laugh too!

[inbabylontheywept]

my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.

i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.

point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.

i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.

i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.

i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.

(i think i was...six?)

anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.

(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)

so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?

so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.

the compost pile was full of worms.

she then told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and go to heaven, and be able to talk to the worms face to face. that i'd be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident, driven only by excessive Love, and that she was positive they would forgive me because worms have six hearts and no malice.

at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.

and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.

but because she loved me.

[shalmonsdraws]

princess duckduck

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Who is this sassy lost child?

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[cherrie-blue-s]

(PART TWO IS OUT!!)

The things they don't prepare you for parenting

Timberkon + Charlie

(1/3)

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[cupidsncheerios]

i don’t get how everyone talks about “possessive jayce” and “obsessive jayce” and uses the post hexyoghurt breakup scene as proof when like. jayce had the most NORMAL reaction to that shit

respectfully guys he almost got assassinated like a week ago and just found out that his nonconsensual necromancy WORKED and now his boyfriend is back from the grave and taller and purpler, what do you expect him to say when said freshly-not-dead boyfriend immediately dumps him?

“oh i’m sorry you feel that way, viktor. i treasured our time together and i hope the same goes for you too. would you like me to get your belongings from my apartment before you ride off into the distance with your purple asscheeks hanging out?”

[shinynewmemories]

Listen to me Suzanne Collins did not have to give Katniss and Peeta a history before the games. She did NOT have to do that. She could have just had their story begin when Peeta's name was called. She could have had them be total strangers until the moment of the reaping.

Like: "And the boy tribute is... Peeta Mellark!" Katniss: Who's that? Or she could have made them vaguely familiar with each other! Peeta's name is called and Katniss just thinks, Oh, I know that name! He's in my class, actually. Poor boy... Anyway!

Either way, SC could have written the rest of the story exactly the same! I think many authors would have done that! Because if Peeta's purpose in the book was to be Gale's competition, to be one of the 3 corners of a love triangle, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE WAY TO DO IT!! But that's NOT how she did it because that's NOT what Peeta is.

And what is he? To Katniss, Peeta's someone who saved her and her family and received nothing in return except a beating. Peeta's someone she has had her eye on but has never worked up the courage to talk to. Peeta's someone she associates with kindness and hope. And all this before the start of the events of the book! Just because WE, the READERS, met Gale before Peeta and immediately felt a connection with him does NOT mean that was Katniss's experience! And that's what SC is trying to tell us!

To dismiss Katniss and Peeta's past as unimportant or inconsequential compared to whatever Katniss and Gale have in the present is to fundamentally misunderstand Katniss as a character and, as a result, condemn oneself to never fully understand the choices she makes in the future.

Suzanne Collins wrote it that way on purpose because she had something to say. And no one will ever be able to convince me that something wasn't "It was always going to be Peeta".

[bee-sidebranch]

gourmrolllll

reblog to gourmroll your mutuals <3

[just-null]

You okay pookie it been while😞

Leader is alive!! just dealing with matters that're keeping me busy!!

But enough about that, I recently saw the new ufotable post and i thank them so much for the crumbs of demon food they give us. Fingers crossed they keep it going and give us more

[original!]

i'll kiss anyone on the mouth if you can tell me the flowers they're holding and their meanings pLEASE

[vashievoidz]

I'm pissed off to see that Palestine is not trending on here. I know that we all have interests we want to talk about, but this week is another global strike, Palestine should be the number one trending, and it's not even number 10. You can put aside your interests for one week. Bisan and so many others are begging us to use our voices to pressure our governments to put an end to this genocide. MILLIONS of people are counting on us, PLEASE don't look away no matter how upset and tired you are. We have the luxury of being able to just put our phones down and going off to do something to feel better. But just this once, for ONE WEEK, you can put aside your discomfort and SPEAK UP. How many people have to die for you to care.

[goingbybubble]

actually foaming at the mouth over people saying “can’t two women just have a strong friendship?” “or.. maybe we can just let them be friends?”

of course they can. but in reference to wicked, where it is stated by the author that elphaba and glinda had romantic feelings for each other, we’d like to fight to have that be more known/shown to the public.

we can let queer people have this win. i’m sorry if this means to you that you can no longer relate to these characters because you thought it would be like you and your bestie (WHEN OF COURSE YOU STILL CAN!! :D) but these characters have been written like this for years.

seeing these comments being hateful towards people when they talk about gelphie is so upsetting. even ariana has said and now posted about glinda and her sexuality and yet people think she’s coming out of left field.

this really shouldn’t be a debate when it is basically a fact. these characters were written and have been stated to have romantic feelings for each other and that’s that. it’s okay to like fiyero with either of them more than the two of them together, but please don’t erase the relationship that the LGBTQ+ community has been holding onto so tightly. strong friendships and bonds can still coexist with a romantic relationship <3

[sillysiluriforme]

Brain smooth like glass

So smart yet so incredibly dumb

[i-like-mint-tea]

I'd rather die cringe than live a hater

[dandeleon]

happy (very late) 10 years of ford!!!🎉

(moar stuff under read more👍)

^ lineart

^ unshaded

^ og screencap

[mysteryanimator]

I'll be coming for your love, okay?

The full can be watched here

Happy Valentine's Day! Also a marker for four weeks/a month of proactively improving my storyboarding skills haha