#was thinking of this again because of an old song im listening to in my language (it fucking slaps and its sappy and its like 13 years old

[rinsoap]

THE BIG SEIJOH FOUR'S MUSIC TASTE!

this includes : oikawa tooru. matsukawa issei. iwaizumi hajime. hanamaki takahiro.

note : REMASTERED FROM THIS POST! im back from hiatus! (maybe) please enjoy some music headcanons while i scrape together inspiration for some actual works :p

OIKAWA TOORU

!!? you cannot tell me he isn't OBSESSED with kali uchis. he's been an og fan since her por vida era. i've been pushing the kuchi oikawa agenda for three years and i've been RIGHT for three years! he loves latin music and found out about kali when iwaizumi showed him an odd future song she was featured on. i'm ngl guys, being an "og" fan gave him a complex... wdym "name ten kali uchis songs" she's got 30 million monthly listeners. be fr.

his favourite songs by kali uchis are:

☆ gotta get up - interlude on the isolation album. ☆ moral conscience on the red moon in venus album. ☆ no eres tu(soy yo) on the sin miedo album.

!!? daniel ceaser die hard fan. he loves his on the low bisexual rnb artists, what can he say? he'll listen to freudian on REPEAT, like all ten minutes just looping while he goes through the five stages of grief. iwaizumi called him immediately when he learned daniel was on the new tyler the creator album, they were GEEKED.

his favourite songs by daniel ceaser are:

☆ do you like me? on the NEVER ENOUGH album. ☆ take me away on the freudian album. ☆ LOVE AGAIN on the CASE STUDY 01 album.

HONOURABLE SONG MENTIONS: tonight by summer walker. 360 by charli xcx. get back by britney spears. WAR! by DESTIN CONRAD. sunshine by steve lacy & foushée.

MATSUKAWA ISSEI

!!? #1 frank ocean dick rider. he's actually so annoying it's crazy. type of fan to beg for him to make more music but has barely listened to his pre-blonde albums. type of fan to say "what do y'all know about frank ocean?". type of fan to say "frank ocean mentioned 🤓☝️" whenever someone says one of his song titles in everyday conversations (this might be me).

his favourite songs by frank ocean are:

☆ sierra leone on the channel ORANGE album. ☆ nights on the blonde album. ☆ songs for women on the nostalgia, ULTRA album.

!!? him and makki are crazy underground fans, it's actually not even funny. iwaizumi found out and was like "oh i love the underground, my favourite rapper is MFDOOM, whose urs?" and they were like, "umm Ken Carson 😄" what "the underground" technically is is genuinely a sore subject in the friend group LMFAO

his favourite songs by ken carson are:

☆ murda musik (ft. destroy lonely) on the X album. ☆ ss on the a great chaos (deluxe) album. ☆ yale on the teen X album.

HONOURABLE SONG MENTIONS: of course you won't by lucki. paper soldier by brent faiyaz. purity by A$AP rocky & frank ocean. forgiveless by SZA & dirty ol' bastard. father stretch my hands pt. 1 by kanye west.

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

!!? tyler the creator's #1 fan wdym?!!? goblin era apologist typa fan. "no guys, like, it was supposed to be his intrusive thoughts!" they faces killing me why no one gaf 😭 chromakopia glazer and he knows it! (valid) he was there during the odd future era, like dude was writing OFWGKTA on his desk in sharpie omg.

his favourite songs by tyler, the creator are:

☆ WILSHIRE on the CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST album. ☆ lone on the wolf album. ☆ A BOY IS A GUN on the IGOR album.

!!? are we surprised he's a kendrick lamar fan? this was so obvious to me like no other option. relatively new fan, but everyone thinks he's been listening to him since 2011 because he's so obsessed and knows so many songs by HEART. gets into daily debates with mattsun over whether gkmc or tpab is better.

his favourite songs by kendrick lamar are:

☆ DUCKWORTH. on the DAMN. album. ☆ momma on the to pimp a butterfly album. ☆ backseat freestyle on the good kid, m.A.Ad. city album.

HONOURABLE SONG MENTIONS: benzo by blood orange. sunday by earl sweatshirt & frank ocean. talk my shit by childish gambino, flo milli & amaarae. housten old head by a$ap rocky. CYANIDE by daniel ceaser.

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO

!!? charli xcx superfan dont play! he started listening to her through brat, but he enjoys her older songs better. he likes electronic type of music, but he likes to say he fucks with anything that "goes crazy". him and oikawa almost exclusively listen to charli when they're together and mattsun says it drives him crazy, but everyone knows he's mouthing the lyrics to to girl, so confusing.

his favourite songs by charli xcx are:

☆ claws on the how i'm doing now album. ☆ sympathy is a knife on the brat album. ☆ unlock it (lock it) [ft. kim petras & jay park) on the pop 2 album.

!!? like i mentioned, him and mattsun are annoying underground fans. so let me talk about their other goat, destroy lonely. these mfs are the type to try and start moshpits and fail miserably. they like to say "what do y'all know about lone?" but only like his most popular songs.

his favourite songs by destroy lonely are:

☆ VETERAN ft. ken carson on the NOSTYLIST album. ☆ bane (single). ☆ LUV 4 YA on the LOVE LASTS FOREVER album.

HONOURABLE SONG MENTIONS: glory boy by lucki. tears in the club by fka twigs & the weeknd. immaterial by SOPHIE. nightcore by ken carson. codeine vision by chris travis.

[starry-bi-sky]

realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards

*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then

[puppyeared]

uhh. uhhhhh

[oflgtfol]

he was only nineteen???? he should've been at the clubbbb

[09lover]

som any thoughts

[oldkamelle]

never forget of the art you're missing because of linguistic barriers

[chqnified]

I found a use for me having spent 11 years of my life learning Chinese. I can actually understand WayV lyrics

[seilon]

by no means do i regret cutting off my dad but. sometimes i remember experiences with him that are so novel i wouldnt ever replace them. specifically i am thinking about how he’d play this country song sometimes that i have no idea how he found about gay interracial cowboys in love. i never asked him about it. i think about it often

[ghostighostly]

anguish.

[selamat-linting]

WHY ARE YOU, A SHORT HAIRED WOMAN, WROTE A SONG ABOUT FORBIDDEN LOVE WITH NO OBVIOUS PRONOUN HM

[kissohee]

I keep thinking about you.

i keep thinking about you. loser!ex!friend!taesan x popular!fem!reader ☆ nsfw ; wc : 8.7k+ ☆ one-shot mdni! synopsis; taesan never would've believed that there would be a time where popularity would get in the way of you and him. but it wasn't just popularity, it was also your boyfriend. so when you needed an escape from your boyfriend, you found yourself with taesan. the problem is taesan is attached, and you have attachment issues. warnings; referring to taesan as dongmin, cheating, toxic relationship, mainly written in his pov, its literally just sex again and again, angst, oral sex (both m and f receiving), cum eating, both protected and unprotected sex, use of pet names (baby, pretty boy, angel, good boy), i know im a small dick taesan enthusiast BUT he has a big dick in this, taesans very vocal, cockwarming, taking virginity, dry humping, making out, male masturbation, jaehyun and leehan cameo, itty bit of crying. a/n; almost fully based on taesans self composed song "i keep thinking about you." a lot of inspo for this fic came from that, so thank you taesan! if u read the lyrics of the song, a lot of things in this fic might make a lot more sense 😭 listen to his song here ♡

For as long as Dongmin has known you, he believed you were an angel in disguise. And there was a moment where you two couldn't be separated. Every little thing about you was perfect, and he was so lucky to be by your side.

Until you drifted away from him. It was fully your decision,, Dongmin would never give up being close to you for anything. But there really wasn't anything he was able to do about it.

You had started dating this guy, and he became the number 1 man in your heart, Dongmin knew he couldn't be mad at you over it, you had found someone that you took interest in, and for the years Dongmin has known you, this has been a first. But him no longer being in your heart wasn't the problem. The problem was that you had gained popularity and started to pretend you didn't know him. He knew he wasn't popular like you, and he had little to no friends, but he never would've thought there would end up being a time where you would just give up on your friendship without hesitation. You met your boyfriend. And suddenly you were gone. Your entire friend group shifted, you only became friends with people who were just as popular as you, and you had started to also tolerate when your new friends made jokes about him or other people. He had no clue what happened to that angel he once knew. Dongmin especially felt his whole world collapse when you had found out that he liked you. He had watched your contact disappear from his phone, as well as you blocking him on all the social media accounts that you had owned. He believed life was out to get him, So instead of getting over you like every other human would do, he watches as you and your new friends have a very loud conversation in the library. He's sitting at a table alone, writing down whatever comes to his mind every time he steals a look at you. "What a slut." He overhears one of your friends say, "I mean she's practically slept with everyone." He assumes they're talking about some girl who probably doesn't deserve it, because it's all he seems to notice you guys do. "Well not everyone..." One of your other friends raises her eyebrows and tilts her head towards him, everyone catching him staring. He  immediately looks down embarrassed, fixing his headphones to pretend like something was playing. Your friend responds to her, "No one would sleep with Dongmin." She jokes, "He's really quiet, I bet he's a secret perv." He sees you laugh from the corner of his eye,,, you would never laugh at people talking about him like that. Well at least the old you wouldn't, the new you absolutely would. "Alright guys," You grab your bag from the library seat, eyes glued to your phone, "My boyfriend says I have to meet him at the lunch hall in less than 10 minutes or else he won't buy me food." You make quick eye contact with Dongmin and rush out of the library. Your friend looks at him one last time before rolling her eyes, "Can't believe she was actually friends with that guy." They both laugh about another comment made, and follow you out of the library. The library returns to being peaceful. Dongmin was very good at pretending like he couldn't hear people talk about him, which happened more than he liked. Your 'friends' also constantly make fun of you for ever being friends with him. He wasn't strange in the slightest, just kind of a loner. But you always used to tell how cool he was, and how you'll never be friends with someone the way you're friends with him. He hated the term friends. And if there was one thing Dongmin couldn't do, it was that he couldn't stop thinking about you. You have a boyfriend, and you treat him like shit, but you still occupy so much space in his head. How could he forget you so easily? How could you forget him so easily? He starts playing music in his headphones, looking down at the open page of his book, only a few words written down.

He finds himself writing yet another song about you.

Making songs was Dongmins therapy. Which is why he's hunched over his computer, trying to get rid of any thoughts of you from today. And it seemed helpless considering every lyric he wrote down today traced back to you. Somehow he was able to hear the doorbell ring, despite his headphones being on full volume. He places them on his keyboard, leaving his room to open the door. And the last person he expected to be there, was standing right in front of him. "What are you doing here?" You smile at him, glad to finally see his face up close for the first time in a while. "What? I can't see you anymore?" "Aren't you like banned from ever being in the same room as me?" He says sarcastically, not moving his body an inch. You look up at him before looking at your shoes, "No.. Well yes. But I'm willing to make risks." He takes a deep sigh, knowing he'd most likely regret his actions but he moves his body out the way and holds the door open for you, welcoming you inside. Once you enter, he locks the door and heads to his bedroom. You follow him after taking your shoes off, "Are your parents home?" "They're never home, you know that." He responded without looking at you, which you take as a sign to be quiet. You close his door behind you and look at his computer before he slams it shut. "Were you making a song?" "No." He shakes his head, closing his lyric book before putting it away. You tilt your head, "Cmon you can tell me, I know you have a passion for music. I support you.!" He looks at you with a straight face, "I was just messing around with the app." "I don't remember you being so secretive." "That makes two of us." The silence was getting unbearable, Dongmin watches as you fidget with your fingers, knowing this was just as awkward to you as it was to him. "Why are you here...?" "He cheated on me." You blurt out. You weren't sure who else to go to about this, "He doesn't know that I know. But I found out." Dongmin's face softened as he approached you, wrapping his arms around your body. "So why don't you break up with him?" He asks, "Why'd you come here instead?" "I don't really know.." You look up at him and let out the cutest giggle he's ever heard, "I'm not upset, I mean I'm not even surprised. Guess I just needed to tell someone." You both stand there, his hand now caressing your back, "You still care about me right, Dongmin?" Now it's his turn to laugh lightly, "I don't want to. But of course I do." "I'm such a terrible person." You frown thinking about the way you've disregarded him. He wasn't sure if you were trying to gain pity from him, you didn't need his pity, you had him no matter what. "No you're not." He lifts your face up so you can see him. "Your boyfriend is. He's a very unpleasant person. I don't know why you're drawn to him." He smiles at you, "And don't pretend he's not, we all know he is." You stare into his eyes and hold back a smile, "He is, isn't he?" Dongmin just nods back, taking glances at every feature of your face. How are you so beautiful? You place your hands on both sides of his face, "Can I kiss you?" He wants to, more than anything, but he hesitates, "What about your boyfriend?" You lean closer to his face, staring at his lips, "Let go of him right now, it's just us." You place your lips onto his, immediately noticing how soft they are. This is everything Dongmin has ever dreamed of. Maybe not in this particular situation, but the kiss was just as perfect as he imagined it. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer into him. He pulls away and your eyes softly open before you're staring into his eyes, "I want more."

Anything you want. He places his lips on yours again, this time a little more desperation shines through, you're backing him up to his bed, sitting him down so you can sit on his lap, all without breaking the kiss once. His hands are exploring every part of your body, still unsure if this is actually happening or not. What if it's just another one of his wet dreams? When you bite down on his lip, he's more than positive that this is actually his reality. The bite making him let out a moan. "You sound so pretty," You chew on his lip, "My pretty boy." The pet name sent shock waves all throughout his body, forcing him to freeze. He dreamt of the day you would say something like that to him. He had dreamt of a lot of things. "Don't say things like that." He whimpers, "I can't handle it." You run your fingers through his hair, feeling his bulge grow underneath you. "I can tell." You tease him, moving your hips against him to see his reaction. "Oh fuck.." He holds your hips, covering his face on your shoulder. It's embarrassing for him when he gets needy like this, especially in front of you. "How far are we going?" "As far as you want." You smile at him, looking down at his boner. Just the thought of fucking you already had him up, "Do you have condoms?" He presses his lips together, holding onto the hem of your shirt. "No." "Buy condoms next time." You brush the hair out of his face. "Next ti-?" He's cut off with you grinding against him, shutting his eyes closed. His nightmare would be cumming in his pants before even getting to third base with you. "Dongmin, have you ever had sex before?" You ask, not stopping your hip movements. He shakes his head and you start feeling bad. You'd feel horrible if you took his virginity when he was hoping to lose it to someone he had a relationship with. "Hey, than maybe we shouldn't do th-" "No." He puts his hand over your mouth, "I want to." You take a deep breath and nod. Your lips are back on his as you proceed your grinding on him. Dongmin is starting to get impatient, the grinding not enough for his painful boner. He starts unintentionally thrusting up against your clothed cunt, and a whimper escapes from his mouth with each thrust.

Your boyfriend is nowhere near as cute as he is. You can tell he's starting to get more desperate with his humping, trying to actually gain satisfaction out of it, and that's when you suggest you both remove the clothes in the way. Finally seeing his cock outside of his pants made reality really sink in. He's bigger than most cocks you've seen, and it surprises you. But you're determined to get genuine pleasure so you line him up with you. Dongmin's very lucky that his first time is raw. The second he enters, you immediately feel like his dick was made for you. It was the perfect size, bigger than average but not an uncomfortable size. "Oh god you're so big Min," Your grip on his shoulders tightens and he moans from the compliment alone. You adjust yourself to a comfortable position and look in his eyes, "I'll do the moving since this is your first time, okay?" He nods, resting his hands on your waist, he's so excited that you feel him twitch inside of you. You lift yourself up and down, taking notice on his facial expressions and noises, unable to stop yourself from smiling, "You're so cute." His cheeks become a shade of red, his cock twitching again. "You respond to compliments huh.?" "Not on purpose.." He says, trying to rid himself of embarrassment from being unable to control his cock. "I know," You pat his head, slowly feeling your energy go down as you get closer to your climax. "But it's okay because you're being such a good boy." And just like suspected, his cock twitches again. "So cute." You whisper under your breath. "Are you getting close? Cause I am." He doesn't respond, but instead starts lifting his hips up into you at a faster rate, taking control over you both. His hips twitch, and you feel it. His cum inside of you. And the thought of it brings you to your own orgasm. You moan his name out, and grip onto his hair. Hearing you say his name in such an explicit way makes him cum a second time. For the first time in months, you actually had a really good orgasm. "You're so much better than him." You touch his cheek softly. Dongmin almost cringes at you bringing up your boyfriend after just having sex with him.

"Break up with him, please." He whispers.

Dongmin won't lie and say he wasn't heartbroken when he saw you with your boyfriend again the next week. His arm wrapped around your waist, as you talk to your friends. He couldn't understand how you could happily continue going out with him even after sleeping with Dongmin. You cheated on him. Granted he did cheat on you first but still. Despite all that, you stayed. Why? He's only watching you from a distance. He wants to approach you, or at least just wave, but he can't move. So instead he's creepily watching you and he only then realizes it's a problem when your friend nudges your shoulder and points at him. Now he's more than aware this could turn into a problem. So he waves, because he thinks it might be able to justify why he's looking. Instead of waving you back, you take a deep breath, raise your eyebrows at your boyfriend and look back at him. Dongmin starts biting the inside of his cheek, opting on putting his headphones on and just walking away. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, and yet it's still just as awkward as the first time. And he's about to leave before he sees you speed walk his way. "Can I help you?" You look at the ground behind him, playing with the strings of your bag. He shrugs, now feeling awkward, "Just saying hi." "Yeah well don't" You respond quickly. He's back to biting the inside of his cheek, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his sweater. "I'm confused on why we can't be friends.." "Friends don't sleep together." You say, face deadpanned as you make eye contact with your boyfriend, far away enough where he can't hear you. He sighs, you've put him in such an odd position. You're not his friend but you're also not his lover? "So that's it? You sleep with me once and I'm not allowed to talk to you?" He looks back at your friends who are staring at him harshly, almost burning a hole in his skin. Your boyfriend however is on his phone, trying not to get too upset over the fact that you willingly wanted to talk to Dongmin. He hears you sigh loudly and you stand in front of him so he's forced to look at you, "It's much more complicated than that, okay?" You copy him and glance at your friends too, "If it was up to me, things would be different." And that's all you say before walking away from him.

-

Dongmin's just had the most boring class of his entire life. Mainly because he was yawning the whole time, trying his hardest not to fall asleep in case the professor decided to say something worth hearing. There's no one to blame Dongmin's tiredness on except himself, he hasn't been able to sleep well these past few days because of you. Every time he closed his eyes to fall asleep, the exact same moments with you would replay in his head. Thus, lack of sleep. So he's pretty happy when the class is finally over, he can go home and maybe, hopefully, take a nap. So he grabs his stuff in a hurry and walks out the classroom, all to see you standing there with your arms crossed on the other side of the hall. Maybe he's hallucinating, or maybe you're waiting for someone else, so he just walks away, not willing to embarrass himself anymore. "Dongmin? Hello??" He hears you call out to him, until eventually your arm is on his shoulder. So maybe you were waiting for him. "I needed to talk to you." He's not upset in the slightest, in fact he's actually really happy that you actually want to talk to him. "How'd you know I was in that class?" "Oh uhm." You say, taken aback by the question, "I asked around to see if anyone had any classes with you and eventually someone did and so yeah uh.." You had gone through all that trouble, for him? "Look," You start, "I really needed to tell you that I did enjoy that night with you. And you know, if you're down, maybe we could do it again?" Again? He swears his heart is going to explode. "When were you thinking?" "Tonight,,, maybe.?" Your voice had a little shake in it, exposing you for being a little nervous about asking him if you guys could sleep together again. Dongmin smiles softly with a nod, "Sure." He does his absolute best to play it cool in front of you but the thought of you and the past few restful nights finally coming to end makes his heart pound. And so the moment he gets home he's kicking his feet over the thought of you coming over again. Deciding on ways for the time to pass by quicker, he decides to clean his entire room. Like yes, you've seen his room at some of his messiest times, but that doesn't change the fact that he wants to be impressionable on you. But even cleaning his room didn't take up that much time, and he finds himself looking at the clock every minute. He probably should've asked you for a more specific time. He's just really excited to have you with him again. He's willing to get hurt if it means being able to be close to you somehow. He wants you any way that he can. Why was it taking an hour for each minute to pass? It must've taken another hour of staring at the ceiling before the ring to his door was pushed. And it took a lot of self control for him to not run to the door to see who it was, despite knowing it's most likely you.

And you it was. "Hey." he says, trying his hardest not to smile super hard, opposite from you, who is smiling. "Hey you." You poke his shoulder, walking into his house. "I couldn't stop thinking about you." He couldn't be happier. Dongmin closes the front door, motioning for you to kick off your shoes so you can go to his room. "How about we continue that hm?" He says before leaning slightly down to kiss you. Just like expected, you return the kiss, making sure you can taste every bit of him. "Your room, now." You say against his kiss and he nods slightly, grabbing your hand and walking urgently to his room. You automatically sit down on his bed and wait for him to close the door so he can sit down next to you, which doesn't take him very long because he's just as needy as you are. His hands find their way into your hair, and you're as close as you can possibly be to him. He breaks the kiss to be able to place them down your neck, "Careful about leaving hickies." You warn him, earning a groan from him against your neck. It doesn't stop him from pulling your shirt off so he can plant kisses across your chest, some getting close to your tits. You're holding onto one of his arms so hard he feels like your fingerprints will be engraved on it. "Did you get condoms?" "Not yet," He looks down at you, "I'm nervous to buy them." That part's entirely true, he's way too nervous to have someone actually watch him buy a pack of condoms. Like yes, it's normal but that doesn't change the fact that he's also way too scared.

"Okay so new plan." You sit up fully, confusing Dongmin, "I'll suck you off." His ears immediately go red, and his heart starts racing. His lack of words make you nervous, "Only if you want. I don't have to." He shakes his head semi-violently, feeling his cock react to your words. "I-I want you to." His response makes you smile, unzipping his jeans so he can get out of them. You're eventually face to face with his boner, which makes you happy, especially when it moves from just you looking at it. You barely even touched him at all and he's already super hard. He moves his hips closer to you, hinting at how badly he wants to be touched, "Relax Dongmin, I'll get to it." You pat his thighs softly, making him thrust up into nothing. "Oh? Are you sensitive there?" He doesn't respond, slightly embarrassed by it, but you think it's cute. You place a hand over his covered bulge, rubbing his cock through the fabric, as your hand travels up and down his thigh. "I need you to be a good boy okay, Min? That means no moving, let me handle everything." He nods, resting against the pillows on his bed.

The moment your hands touch his bare cock, Dongmin swears he won't listen. He wants to do what you ask, but it's hard when you're inches away from his cock. Your hands travel up and down it, pumping him in preparation for your mouth. He's biting his tongue so he doesn't make noise too soon. But when you lick his tip, he groans. Probably the deepest you've ever heard him yet, so it's obvious that you're driving him insane. And you enjoy that, which is why you lick around his tip, just slowly. His fists ball up, and they clench even harder when you take him entirely inside your mouth. "Oh my god," He moans,, what did he do to deserve this from you.? You don't respond but instead bob your head at a pretty reasonable starting pace. He's struggling to keep his hands in one place, moving them anywhere he can but nowhere seemed comfortable for him. That is until he places his hands in your hair, trying his absolute hardest not to move your head any faster. Dongmin can't believe how close he is already, but considering the circumstances he's currently in, he's surprised he's lasted this long. He's starting to feel more sensitive, which doesn't get better when he feels your tongue travel down the slit of his tip You know you're driving him crazy, and you're enjoying every second of it. His hips start twitching from how hard he's trying to not let them move like you had asked, but ultimately finding himself unable to when he thrusts up into your mouth. Nothing comes out of your mouth about it, knowing he can't control it which is why you let him push your head down with his hands. His head falls back and his eyes are shut. You stare at him in awe as whimpers pour out his mouth, some mentioning how he's close and can't hold it even if he tried. He looks back at you, and the sight of you looking up at him with his cock in your mouth sends him over the edge. His hips twitch as loads of cum gets shot into your mouth, and he watches as you swallow it all, making him moan.

You knead his thighs softly as he calms down from his orgasm, and when he finally regains consciousness, he lays you down in his place. Neither of you exchange words and yet you understand him entirely. It's your turn now. "No panties?" He comments when your pants are fully off. "None for you." You smirk a tiny bit, sinking into the mattress of his bed as he spreads your legs open. Dongmin starts feeling nervous when he looks at you, he's never given a girl head before. What if he messes up, or what if he isn't good? But he also wouldn't know unless he tries, so with a deep breath he finally places his tongue on your pussy. You wiggle into his mouth, liking the feeling of his hot spit on you. "Dongmin, please.." Your small beg for him, gave him all the motivation that he needed. He licks your clit until he's more comfortable exploring the rest of your pussy. Attempting to cover any places that might bring pleasure to you. He feels your fingers in his hair, similarly like how he was with you, except you don't move his head, you're just keeping them there for support. And so he goes back to sucking your clit, doing his absolute best to make sure he's able to give head right. Dongmin loves the way you're a moaning mess because of him, praising him while also babbling about how good it feels, and he's taking pride in that. Everything sent blood right back to his already aching cock. You feel the bed rock slightly, realizing it's because Dongmin is moving his hips against the surface to the pace his tongue is moving. And just on cue he moans into you, sending pleasure up, making you moan loudly as well. You've officially lost it when Dongmin uses his thumb to draw circles on your clit while using his tongue inside of you. You've never felt so good in your entire life, not with anyone else at least. He's doing his absolute best to focus on you only, so he doesn't even notice that he's unconsciously humping the bed until he feels another orgasm creep up. But he wants to get you there before him, so he speeds up his pace against you, watching as your back arches in a way he hasn't seen before. Your grip against his hair tightens, which makes him moan again, and you swear you're seeing stars. And before you know it, you're cumming against his mouth, rubbing against his tongue as much as you can to let the feeling last. Dongmin cums practically right after you, holding onto your thighs as hard as he can until he's cumming for the second time in an hour. He licks up all of your cum around his lips, smiling at you after. "Oh my pretty boy, that was so good," You smile back at him, voice low from tiredness. His heart pounds extra loud upon hearing your praise for him. He lays down next to you, exhaustion catching up with him, and with the way your eyes flutter, he can tell exhaustion caught up with you too. He takes an extra long look at you beside him, your eyes finally rest shut, and he moves a piece of hair out of your face and behind your ear. He's so lucky.

He's kissing you again. He swears he's addicted. Whenever you aren't with him, his lips feel bare. You're like a drug to him. He just can't get enough. He can't get used to the feeling of your hands in his hair, tugging on a few strands as you dig your tongue into his mouth. A small whine leaving his mouth as he brushes his bulge against you desperately. "Eager pretty boy?" He's unable to respond, so he just moans into your mouth, just the thought of entering you again makes his stomach churn. "I finally bought condoms," He says between breaths, "Took a lot of courage buying them." You wrap your arms around his neck, unbalancing him so he's laying down with you above him, "I love you." You love him.. "You know I love you too," His hands snake up under your shirt, lifting it off. "You're so good to me.." You say, kissing his neck, feeling his hips lift up into yours. You hold onto his hips, rubbing down on them, the friction between clothing causing Dongmin to moan. He loves any contact with you, just the feeling of you pressing against his dick makes his tummy flip. He's not sure what to do with his arms, eventually placing them on your thighs, feeling your body shift above him. You start undoing his sweats, gently pushing them down as he watches. You keep eye contact with him as you remove your sweats too, having less clothes keeping you away from his bare skin. You were feeling too lazy to actually remove the rest of the clothing so instead you just remove his dick from his boxers, and pushed your panties aside. Without breaking eye contact, you held his dick in your hands before sliding his tip against your folds. His eyes flutter shut, hands returning to your thighs. You circle your clit with his tip, your chest rising and falling. Dongmin letting out whimpers from the torturous movements. "Condom." You tell him in a quieter voice, you need him inside of you now. You watch as he messes with a box on his nightstand, pulling open the package. "You wanna do it?" You nod and grab the condom from him, slipping it onto him quickly. You take a deep breath before sinking down on him, biting your lip. Feeling Dongmin's hands tighten on your thighs, holding you down on his dick as deep as it can go. He pushes up into you, feeling your hands quickly hold him down. "Wait," You stop him from thrusting up into you again. "Let's just stay like this for a little bit." He doesn't respond, but he holds you tightly, as if you were about to float away. "I want this to last forever." It can. He can make that happen. "Angel.." Dongmin starts, kissing the top of your head, "I'm waiting for you.. I want this to last forever too, but I'm not sure if that's what you want.." You close your eyes, feeling the wetness from your tears, "It is what I want. I want you. I only want you." Dongmin's never been so conflicted. How can you want only him,, but not accept it when he's giving his all to you? He doesn't respond, he just does his best to ignore the aching pain coming from his dick, trying to enjoy the only intimate moments you give him. He's not sure how much more of this he could take.

He unclips your bra and slips it out between the two of you, loving the feeling of your tits against his chest. A tear unknowingly falls down your cheek and onto his chest, which he felt, "Are you okay?" "Mhm." You nod, face not showing in his direction, "You can,,,, go now." He thrusts up into you, placing kisses all over your skin. You whip away any leftover tears, and sit up. You put your hands on his chest for support, whispering his name under your breath. He's also moaning your voice, his senses heightened whenever he's with you. "I'm yours, right?" Dongmin continues to thrust into you, "Tell me I'm yours.." "You're mine baby." A small smile appears on your face after looking down at Dongmin, his cheeks are red and his eyes are glossy, "All mine." He's determined to make you cum first, holding in his orgasm for you. You're his priority, you're his #1. "Min I'm close-" You say, now grinding on him as he thrusts up, looking at the way he's breathing heavily. "You're close too aren't you?" He nods, not opening his mouth or else he wouldn't be able to control his words. He's now slamming his hips into yours, closing his eyes and opening them just in time to watch as your entire face mirrors the intense pleasure of your orgasm. He came too. But he hardly noticed over how focused he was on your effortless beauty. You got off of him, laying down right next to him as you kissed his lips softly. He's staring into your eyes when your phone starts ringing. "Fuck," You get up and grab your phone as he watches, "Hey babe. No yeah I'm on my way." You hang up and go searching for the close sprawled on Dongmin's bedroom floor. He's just looking at you, watching you gather your clothes. "He needs me to come over, and he sounds pretty angry too." You smile at Dongmin before placing a kiss on his cheek. "Do you know where my panties are?" You frantically look around his room for them. "Leave them here." He holds himself up by his arms. "You don't need them." You look at him and tilt your head, "What if he finds out I was here with you?" "So what?" "Dongmin.. He can't find out." Dongmin's such a fool.

If he's left with his thoughts anymore, he might go insane. It's been going on for 4 weeks, but it's been 6 days since he has last seen you. According to you, your boyfriend suspects something is up, but Dongmin's the last person on earth he'd think you were cheating on him with. You weren't responding to his texts or calls either, he's starting to wonder if he's lost you again. You kept posting about being at parties with your boyfriend for the past few days, you told Dongmin you couldn't see him cause you were busy with school workload. Dongmin offered to help you with work, he even told you that you'd do it for you, and you still said no. He needed to fill that empty space you had been occupying, which is why he's standing in front of the door to a classroom that was currently holding the school's 'aspiring artist' club. He's been meaning to attend for quite a while now, but never had the actual courage to show up. He just needed something, anything, to get you out of his head.

When he opened the door, the classroom was empty. Did he have the wrong time? "Hey man, can you hold the door open for us?" He turned around to see two guys rolling a cart of instruments towards the door, he immediately moved out the way for them to get into the classroom. "Thanks. Are you here for club?" Dongmin just nods, the other boy putting the instruments in the back of the classroom. The first boy holds his hand out with a smile, "I'm Jaehyun and the one back there is Leehan." Dongmin opens his mouth to respond but Jaehyun continues, "It's only us here today because the other members had other things to do. But you're welcome to stay!" "I'm Don-" "Are you here cause you want to make music?" Jaehyun looks at Leehan, "We also want to make music! We love composing and all that, do you like composing?" "..." "You seem like you'd be more into writing lyrics, maybe even both." Jaehyun tilts his head, "Not much of a talker are you?" "He's not talking cause you're not letting him," Leehan playfully pushes Jaehyun out the way, "And I'm Donghyun not Leehan." The two of them stare at Dongmin, waiting for him to say something. "I'm Dongmin.. And I do enjoy composing and writing." Jaehyun looks like he could explode with happiness, "Would it be too invasive of me to ask if I could hear something?" Dongmin doesn't like showing people his music, not that he has many people to show it to, but what if the people he's showing it to doesn't like it? What if they're too judgmental? Thankfully Jaehyun and Leehan were very nice about it. They both had to cover their mouths from opening and made many comments about how talented he was, and that everyone should listen to it. "The girl you wrote the songs about is very lucky hm.?" Jaehyun attempts to make small talk. It would've worked literally any other day but Dongmin was here specifically so he didn't have to think of you,, and now he's forced to think of you all over again. He smiles at Jaehyun, helping set up the drum set they were unpacking, "I guess," He shrugs, "She has a boyfriend." "She has a boyfriend and you're writing a song about her?" Leehan raises an eyebrow, "Does he know?" Dongmin looks up at Leehan, "Her boyfriend? No he doesn't know.. But she does." Jaehyun and Leehan exchange a look before Jaehyun puts the parts of the drum he was holding down and grabs his computer, "I think you should upload your songs." Jaehyun opens the soundcloud website, "Make an account." "Why?" Dongmin asks, taking a seat next to Jaehyun. "Look man, you clearly have unfinished business with this girl, and we can't help you with it." He sighs, "But the music you're making about her is actually really good, and you may be able to benefit from your feelings if you upload your music." Dongmin takes a seat next to Jaehyun, staring at the website, "I won't be able to upload them right now." "So do it later," Jaehyun pushes his computer towards Dongmin, "I just don't think these songs should be for our ears only." Maybe Jaehyun's right, Dongmin has always wanted to make his music private, but he's always been too scared to. This was probably a sign that he should, and so he puts his artist name as 'Taesan,' creates the account and makes a mental note to actually do something with the account later. "You're like a male heartbroken Avril Lavigne," Leehan mentions, cleaning up the mess of instrument cases, "Maybe except a little more heartbroken." Dongmin actually smiles at that, sinking in the uncomfortable chair. Maybe he's a little glad he met Jaehyun and Leehan. And who knows? Maybe he'll go famous and you'll fall in love with him then. -

The moment he finished uploading all his songs onto his newly created soundcloud, there was a knock at the door. And when he opened the door, he couldn't be happier. It didn't even take you two seconds before you were shoving your tongue into his mouth, slamming the door behind you. "I have 15 minutes." "Only 15 minutes?" Dongmin repeats between kisses, guiding the two of you to his room. You remove your hoodie, holding his face in your hands, "I have a date." He holds your hands in his and presses kisses down your neck, "Yet you're here.?" "I've felt very Dongmin deprived." You let out a low groan when Dongmin kisses the sensitive spot on your neck. "Yeah cause you haven't seen me in a-" He's interrupted with you moving your hips against him. He mimics your actions, hands moving to hold onto your ass, "Just shut up okay?" You say quietly. And he listens, because he will always listen to you. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, leaning on his shoulders for stability, still grinding your hips on him at a comfortable pace. He closes his eyes, just focusing on the slight release he's feeling from his cock because of you. You kiss all over his neck, sucking on a spot under his ear, feeling his hips hit up into yours. Feeling more desperate, you speed up, earning soft moans from Dongmin. You keep looking at the time and right as he's reaching his orgasm, you stop. "Fuck, I have to go." "Are you kidding??" Dongmin groans as you get off his lap, picking up your hoodie from off the floor. "I'm sorry," You pout, palming his bulge once before kissing him, "I can't stay longer." You check the time one more time before quickly making your way out of his room. "Why can't you.?" He follows your hurried body into the living room, watching you put on your shoes, almost losing balance and falling. You search for your purse, "Because we are dating." "You're cheating on him." He brings up. "Don't start with that." You flare your nostrils, "That's not fair." Dongmin's voice gets smaller, "Yeah well it's not very fair on me either." "I thought of you while having sex with him." Is the last thing you say before opening the door and walking out. He could just die. For multiple reasons. 1, you left. 2, you just told him a piece of information that he will think about every second of every day. and 3, his cock is still hard. And he never got to cum. He's patting himself on the back for keeping your panties that one time. He also has zero intentions on returning them. So maybe he is a perv. He takes them out of one of his drawers and drags his thumb across the crotch of it. So thankful he never gave them back to you. Just looking at them made him remember that night, the way you looked, the way you felt. All the thoughts flooded back to his cock, pressed against the cotton fabric of the same sweats he wore that night with you. You. That was all he could think about.

It seemed like all he was doing was thinking, even as he was ridding himself of all clothes in the way of his cock. Laying down on his bed, wanting you on top of him like you always are. He wraps the fabric of your panties around the tip of his cock before moving it in circles, his hips immediately jolting at the feeling. "Fuck.." Your panties feel really nice against his skin, especially when he starts thrusting into his hand, releasing moans from his throat. He's desperate for whatever release he can get, especially since he's only been relying on you for the past few weeks. You. It's all he can think about. It's all he's imagining,,, He's imagining that you're the one surrounding his cock, and not your panties. He's imagining that you're with him. Knowing it's your panties touching him only makes his dream feel real, and he speeds up his, knowing he's been wanting to cum since he was with you. The way his hand moves around his cock causes him to breathe heavily, noticing his long awaited orgasm approach, making him go faster. He's repeating your name in-between 'sorries' as cum shoots out of his cock. His chest falling as he opens his eyes, reality setting in. He stares at your panties in his hand, now covered in his cum. He really hates your boyfriend.

Dongmin knows he can't keep fueling this. He knows cheating is wrong and yet he's helping you cheat. His heart doesn't know any better. At the end of the day, he's the one making you cum, he's the one taking care of you, so he really can't understand why you just wont end your relationship. I mean you let him cum inside of you the very first time you guys had sex. So obviously it meant something for you.. His brain just can't seem to overpower his heart no matter what he does. He could honestly just cry. He's starting to feel bad for himself. Your words don't match your actions, and he still doesn't exist to you outside of the privacy of either one of your bedrooms. But he keeps doing this to himself, he keeps entangling himself with you. And he's about to do it again. Your boyfriend just left, and you had asked him to come over. Normally people who know they're in a bad relationship, or whatever you can call this, would say no and turn around, and maybe even go home. But he's Dongmin. Someone who is so in love with you that he would do anything. Even if it meant just being a fuck buddy. Even if that meant helping you cheat. It takes you a moment to open the door, smiling at the sight of him. "Sorry, I was just tidying up a bit." "For me?" He can't help but smile, especially when you plant a kiss on him right after too. You make a small pout with your lips and softly caress his cheek, "Of course for you, silly. Who else?"

Dongmin loved everything about you. But if he had to dislike one thing, it would be the way you lead him on. How you pretend like you like him, but only when it's just the two of you. How you acknowledge your boyfriend is nothing compared to him, and yet you stay with him. Why? "I've wanted you so bad." He says, wrapping his arms around your waist. You look up at him, smile slowly fading as you stand on your tippy toes to kiss him again. Not speaking back, just responding with your actions. And he knows you've wanted him just as bad when you bite in his bottom lip so you can sneak your tongue into his mouth, earning a groan from him. "How badly?" You finally respond, batting your eyelashes, not taking your eyes off his. He leans in to kiss you, "So badly." He whispers before placing his lips on yours, holding your head up with his hand gently. You manage to wrap your legs around his waist, feeling his hands come to hold you up without breaking the kiss. He could kiss you forever.

He carries you to your bedroom like this, placing you on your bed as he stands between your legs. He wishes he could kiss you forever. You grind your hips against his, feeling his cock grow against you when you grab his hair. He's kissing you as if he's never kissed you before. Like he wants what he can't have. He can't have you. So he takes whatever time he can get with you, through all the obstacles in his way, even if it's a secret. As long as he gets some of you,, a little piece of you,, at least. He removes your clothes slowly, admiring you again, dragging his fingertips across any part of your body he can touch. Your hand grabbing his, "Dongmin." You snap him out of the trance you put him in, and he realizes he's the only one fully dressed. But he's frozen. He can't move. He doesn't want to move. Normally you would tell him to snap out of it, but today you don't feel like doing that either. Instead you help him out of his clothes, placing a soft kiss on the middle of his stomach. "Come on Min," You shake his arm, speaking in a very soft tone, "I'm sure whatever you're thinking about can wait." You. It's all he can think about. It's all he's ever thinking about. "Sorry," He let's go of your hand, heading to your dresser for a condom. He knows all too well about where you keep them. He pumps his cock a few times before sliding it on, going back to you. "My pretty boy..." Is all that you say before he's entering you, making your back arch. Your pretty boy. He will always belong to you. He holds onto your legs as he thrusts into you, watching as you hold onto your bedsheets, your fists balling up. Despite his head making him unable to think straight, he's still keeping up good momentum. He notices a tear fall from your eyes, voice breaking every time he thrusts into you. He doesn't know why you're crying,,, how could he know if you don't even know.? Yet it makes him cry a little too. And he still doesn't know why,, but the air in the room today is heavy, almost suffocating. Why does he feel like he's losing you? He thrusts into you with more force, but not at a faster pace. He's taking his time. Moving his hands from your legs to your waist, so that way he could look at you from above. The way every part of your face reacts, the way your eyelashes look with your eyes closed, and even the dried up tears on your cheeks. Those dried up tears. He's sure his tears dried up too. You start grabbing at his arms holding your waist, fingers digging into them. "Oh shit, Dongmin." You open your eyes, wanting to look at his face while you approach your orgasm.

And he's approaching his too, with the way he's speeding up his hip movements. Watching as he bites his lip really hard,,, he doesn't feel like making much noise right now. He only wants to hear you. You both reach your climax at the same time, feeling his cock twitch inside you. Remembering the way you moan his name every time he makes you cum. He swears the sounds only get sweeter and sweeter. He rubs soft circles on the skin of your thighs, comforting you through the intense feeling after your orgasm. Waiting until you're breathing returns to normal before pulling out. Dongmin removes the condom and makes an attempt to throw it right at the trashcan in your room. And he puts his boxers back on before collapsing on the bed next to you. For the next few minutes you just lay in comfortable silence, your arm wrapped around his stomach. Your grip on him tighter than he's ever felt, and you look like you're contemplating saying something. "Are you Taesan?" You finally ask, watching as his face drops. He doesn't even look back at you, "What?" "Are those songs about me?" "No." He lies. That's the first time Dongmin has ever lied to you like that. You sit up, placing a hand on his, "You can't lie to me, Taesan." Now it's his turn to sit up, "Who told you about it." "A friend of mine. She found it and sent it to me," You play with your fingers, "The lyrics were oddly familiar." "I can't deny it.." When you don't say anything, he continues, "You know I'm in love with you." You quickly respond, "You can't be." "Why not?" Dongmin says grabbing his clothes, handing you yours, "I know you're in love with me too." You take the clothes out of his hand, putting them on, "I'm not." "Yes you are,, You can't lie to me either... I know you are." Dongmin's voice gets slightly louder, a small quiver appearing. "I can't keep waiting for you." You place your hands on your face, "This was such a mistake." "What?" You try to talk but all that comes out is a deep breath, "I'm sorry Dongmin. This never should've happened." He can't believe this is happening. You stand up, opening the door to your room and leading him to wear his shoes are. "But it did. It did happen. Multiple times." Dongmin says following you, "And you liked it. That's why you still slept with me just now, knowing I wrote songs about you, knowing that I really like you." He sensed this the moment he walked through your door. He knew something was wrong, that's why you cried. That's why he cried. He somehow knew it would be your last time together, but he didn't even realize it. You open your door, watching as he puts his shoes on and steps outside, looking back at you. "You're right, I did know.. and I did like it. I loved you." You look down at your feet, sniffling, "I just wanted to be with you one last time." He's unable to say anything, his throat is clogged. He has so much more he wants to say, yet he's scared. "I'm sorry. Goodbye, Dongmin." You make an attempt to smile, not being able to hide the tear falling down your cheek. He went from looking at your face to now suddenly staring at the front of your door. Out of the 8 billion people on earth, why him?

© kissohee this fic is deep in my heart, hope u enjoyed it as much as i did. (not sponsored by soundcloud), i also cant write endings so im sorry 😭

[starkeyboy]

how to be a heartbreaker

luke castellan x aphrodite!reader

this ate when i was 9 and it still eats

the moment the pink aura radiated off my skin was when i knew. i had been claimed by aphrodite. everyone looked at me in awe as the acne on my face washed away, the kinks in my hair straightening out and turning into a blowout. i caught eyes with a boy who had been training me since i got here. the boy i didn’t know that would be a target in a game called love.

***

5 years later

“now listen, y/n, being a daughter of aphrodite isn’t easy,��� silena beauregard, my half sister, said. i sat in a chair looking at myself in the mirror as she stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders. “now that you’re old enough like me, we have one rule.” i looked at her confused when she sighed.

“just one? how is that hard?” i said. she looked at me in the mirror with her eyebrows raised.

“our mother, the goddess of love, sex…heartbreak pretty much. for us to find the one, y/n, you have to break the first one’s heart,” she said. i grew confused. “pretty much just find someone, make them fall in love you and drop them, and then your set to fall in love with the one.”

“so i have to destroy someone’s heart for mine to fall for someone else? what if i end up falling for that one?” i said as i turned to face her. she smiled and shook her head.

“you won’t, i promise, because if you follow these rules, you won’t fall in love with them.” she turned around and pulled out a piece of paper.

“Rule number one is that you gotta have fun

But, baby, when you're done, you gotta be the first to run”

i huffed as luke pushed me with his foot to the ground once again. he smirked at me as he walked over and stood above me.

“i thought you were supposed to go easy on me,” i winced as i sat up. he chuckled and held out his hand to help me up.

“well i thought you were gonna be busy doing makeup once you got claimed but apparently not all aphrodite kids are the same, so im gonna make you the best,” he said as his hand didn’t let go of mine. i looked up at him and i realized. he was my target.

i took a step back and i smiled. “how am i gonna be the best when you are, castellan?” i asked as his cheeks blushed. “or are you just wanting to get close to me?” his eyes widened as he stammered over his words. he shook his head trying to deny it.

“i’m joking, hero, im trying to have fun.” i smirked at him.

***

i looked at silena as she said the first rule, my eyebrows raised.

“did apollo help her write that?” i asked jokingly as she laughed a little.

“now that i’m reading it out loud, it does sound like a song,” she laughed out.

“Rule number two, just don't get attached to

Somebody you could lose

So le-let me tell you”

i walked into the arena, seeing luke cutting a dummy’s head off. i stood in awe for a second and then remembered why i was here. i needed attention.

“i’m starting to think those are real people in your head, hero,” i said as i walked closer. he stopped what he was doing and looked at me.

“i can only imagine if they were,” he said as he picked up the head full of hay and threw it out. “what are you doing here though, thought silena said cabin 10 was off limits tonight.” i shrugged and put my hand on the sword of his.

“that’s the cabin you’re talking about, not me,” i said as he loosens his grip on the sword slightly but gets a grip on it once he notices. “and i was hoping if i could get some private lessons from the best swordsmen.” i smiled at him as he had this dazed look into his eyes. i got him.

“yeah, i guess i could do that,” he said as he smiled slightly. i took a step back and grabbed a sword from a nearby rack and stood in place.

as we were swinging at each other, i noticed that he had lost some of strength and was going easy on me. i knew deep down that it was the daze in his eyes and he was pretty much enchanted. but i was kind of hoping it was him just being tired. shit…i didn’t wanna curse the boy…just break his heart real quick.

my arm collided against his chest as he fell back. i huffed out some air and walked over to him. he was breathing heavy and looking at me in shock. i smirked at him as i held out my hand. once he stood, i patted his chest and placed it there.

“well, hero, looks like the training is working.” i smiled at him. he just smiled and shook his head.

“i was just going easy,” he denied. i chuckled as i took a step back. his face dropping slightly.

“whatever you say, hero.” and i sauntered off.

i took a deep breath out as i left the arena. maybe i should’ve picked a different boy.

i think i’m falling for him.

***

silena smiled at me as i walked into the cabin. i immediately went to her.

“i can’t change who i break, can i?” i asked as she furrowed her eyebrows. but then she realized.

“you’re falling for him, aren’t you?” she said as i sat down on my bed. she sat down next to me and put her hand on my shoulder.

“you said this wouldn’t happen if i followed the rules.” i stated. she sighed as she reached into my drawer and grabbed the paper that she given to me.

“maybe a few more days and you’ll forget you even looked at him in that way.” she looked to me and gave me the paper and pointed to rule number 3.

“Rule number three, wear your heart on your cheek

But never on your sleeve, unless you wanna taste defeat”

i took a deep breath as i saw luke sitting on the beach. i walked over and sat next to him, playfully pushing his shoulder.

“looks like you need some company, hero.” he smiled at me as he nodded his head.

“only if it’s your company,” he smirked at me. i blushed but immediately looked away. i couldn’t let him get to me. i was in control of this game.

“what are doing out here anyways?” i said as i looked out to the sea, trying to not make eye contact. it was silent for a sec and i looked at him to see he was just staring at the ocean.

“i’m tired of the gods not taking initiative to claim their kids,” he said. he turned his head and looked to me. “my cabin is a mess,” he smiled. i smiled back and laughed softly.

“maybe if you sweet talk annabeth and silena, they’ll give you at most 3 out 5 for trying.” i said as he chuckled. his eyes stared into mine and i got lost in his. i could feel the heat rush to my ears and cheeks. i looked away, shyly. but i looked back for only to luke bring his hand up and brush some hair away from my face.

“i’m really glad you’re here, y/n,” he whispered. i felt my heart flutter but i could hear my moms voice.

“you’re cheek sweetheart, not sleeve.”

i smiled at him and shrugged. “that’s what friends are for, right?” i said, lying straight to his face. i looked away and i could see his face fall slightly but he sat straight and nodded.

“of course, you���re always right.”

***

silena walked into the cabin and gave me a knowing look.

“you tell luke to sweet talk me to giving his cabin 3/5?” she said smirking. i shrugged and laughed slightly.

“i have no idea what you’re talking about,” i said shaking my head. she sat down next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder.

“silena?” i said as i looked ahead, the feeling sinking in.

“yeah?” she looked up and looked worried. i guess the tone in my voice wasn’t too happy.

“i think i love luke”

“Rule number four, gotta be looking pure

Kiss him goodbye at the door, and leave him wanting more, more”

the apollo kids sang as i sat with luke, annabeth, percy, grover, silena and charlie around the campfire. my head was elsewhere, my mind just thinking of the curse of a rule. i felt a hand go on my back, i looked over to see luke looking at me worried.

“you okay?” he said. i admired his face as it glowed with the fire. his scar making him look even more of a hero than anyone else.

“will you actually walk me to my cabin? i’m really tired,” i sighed out and he immediately nodded. he got up and held out his hand for me to take. i took it and walked away with everyone’s eyes on us.

we walked in silence until we got to the door, never noticing our hands still locked. we stood in front and i looked back at our hands. my other hand took initiative as it worked its way up his chest. i looked up to him and i could see what he was feeling. lust. love. my hand snaked to his scar on his face as i leaned up.

our lips met for a brief moment when i pulled away, his chasing mine. i smiled and i kissed his cheek and whispered.

“i’ll see you in the morning, hero,” i kissed him again and walked into my cabin, leaving him going crazy.

***

tears fell down my face as i looked to the ceiling. the door to the cabin opened as silena and my other siblings walked in, but they immediately stopped seeing me.

“y/n?” silena said as she walked over to me. she sat on the edge of the bed and put her hand on my shoulder.

“i can’t do it,” i whispered, shaking my head. more tears spilled from my eyes as i thought of him.

she sighed as she smoothed my hair down. i could tell the others were looking at me with sympathy as i cried.

“i know it’s hard, y/n, it’s okay,” she said. i sat up as anger rises in me.

“that’s the thing silena, it’s not okay, because i’ve fallen in love with him. you promised i wouldn’t if i followed four simple rules. it’s been weeks, silena,” i said as i sobbed. “what’s the point of doing all this!” i yelled as i punched the bed. she flinched but proceeded to grab the paper. i nearly ripped it out of her hands because it was stupid. this whole game was stupid. but she moved it away and flipped it over.

“we do whatever it will take, 'Cause girls don't want our hearts to break in two, so it's better to be fake, can't risk losing in love again.” she said as she folded the paper. i threw the blanket off of me as i stood up and stared at her. i held out my hand for her to give me the paper. she handed it to me.

this is how to be a heartbreaker written on top in pink with hearts around it. how ironic. i then proceeded to rip the paper in pieces. i heard everyone gasp as i tore it more and more.

“i’m done playing her game, because in the end, it’s not gonna be me breaking his heart. it’s gonna be me breaking my own,” i said as i threw the pieces on the floor and stormed out.

***

it was just an hour before curfew when i knocked on the hermes cabin door. hearing voices dial down as the door opened. chris stood confused as he stared at me.

“whatcha need? the stoll brother steal something for you?” he said as he smiled. i shook my head and looked around him. luke no where in sight.

“where’s luke?” i asked as he chuckled.

“i’d figure that was the real reasons why you were here, he’s at the shore,” he said as he took a step back. i nodded and immediately went to him.

when i stepped foot on the shore, i saw him with his knees pressed to his chest. i could feel his feelings. betrayal. hurt. love.

i sat next to him and instead of playfully pushing him, i only slightly touched his shoulder to mine.

“you look like you could use some company, hero,” i said quietly as i tried to make him smile. he only looked out to the water as i sighed. i knew he knew.

“can i ask you a question?” he said as he looked over to me. i nodded as i searched in his eyes for anything. “when were you gonna do it?” he asked as my eyebrows furrowed. “when were you gonna do rule number 5?” he clarified. i felt my heart break in half. i looked away as i played with the rough sand.

i shook my head and took a shaky breath. i felt angry at my mother. how can a goddess of love be so cruel. i shifted and faced luke.

“i wasn’t gonna do it,” i said as i reached up to his cheek. he had tears in his eyes as i looked at him. his hand went up to my wrist. i felt tears in my own eyes. “if i broke your heart, i would’ve broken mine too,” i said as i rubbed my thumb on his cheek.

“you mean that?” he asked quietly. i leaned my forehead on his and nodded. i leaned in slightly, scared he was gonna leave. he pulled me closer, bringing my body to his.

“i’ve loved you since the day i got accepted by you, luke castellan,” i whispered to him. his lips ghosted mine and i could feel him smiling. his lips pressed into mine and his hands pressed into my hips. my hands went to his neck and tangled my fingers in his curls.

he pulled away and looked at me. “i love you too, y/n,” he said as kissed me more. but he pulled away again for a second as he grimaced. i furrowed my eyebrows. did i do something? “call me hero though, luke doesn’t sound right,” he laughed and i smiled and laughed with him.

“of course, hero. my hero.”

[s1llydr3amscape]

LET ME OUT

Looks like someone failed the captcha test to many times!

Anyways I always wanted to doodle this specific pose from Toyless' animation why because I can :]

Extras under the cut :

This was the specific screenshot I based the pose off I love hands grabbing head!!! :

The original video ^ (I'll be real with yall I was shocked the original song was poppy playtime because my only experience with it was that all my baby cousins loved that franchise. And they would show me vids off it at family gatherings because I was the babysitter. One of em even debated me abt fnaf like chill out bro you weren't even born when it came out!!!!!)

Glitchtrap rambling time woohoo let's go!!!!

-I redrew em again because I think I'm almost 100% happy with its design!!!! Like I don't wanna change their face so much because the way his face is shaped is my fave!!! Like they have the same style of muzzle as sonic characters!!!!!! I just made it rounder cuz its their early days before this au lore

-I just wanna achieve the unnaturalness with their design. Like they don't belong here. They want to get out. LET HIM OUT. type vibe basically like that's why it has like those kind off teeth instead off the rabbit ones. They get those later in the au.

-I fucking love Glitchtrap so much you don't understand they're so peak!!!!!! I jokingly hate him because I despise what it did to Vanny.

-I was a fan since day 1 bro is just so unique like woah a non animatronic for a change?!?!? STRAIGHT UP A FURSUIT!??!?! Color me impressed!!! I love zooming on it its model and seeing everyy little detail!!! Like omg bro is crying and drooling on the suit!!!!! There's also a patch of uneven stitching pattern on the top of their head compared to their mostly symmetrical design!!!

-I was so fixated on em like my level of obsession for him was bad bad!!!! Like yeah it was still there when Vanny came around during the curse of Dreadbear DLC but you don't understand it surpassed all my Foxy art!!! The first fnaf character I fixated on!?!?? Like what and yall can ask my IRLS bro had lots n lots of art!!!!! I have so much trad art of glitchy it's embarassing!!! Atleast I improved tbh!!

-I just really really loved the fan animations were bro got to time travel to the older fnaf animations and fuck em up!!!! Causing them all to glitch out like hello PEAK!?!?!?! No im not biased to rabbit characters with whiskers shhhhh... SHHH...

-Because I know all those animations already and it's like omg omg OMG Glitchtrap kinda expanded my music taste imma be fr... Fnaf autism is so bad I omfg I only listened to fnaf songs and the only time I listened to other franchises songs is because someone animated fnaf over it... like yeah I was an animation meme kid but even then I only remember the lyrics and titles to songs if I saw fnaf on them (cringe!!!!) So yeah thank u Glitchtrap <33333

-I think Malhare is the cooler name but the Glitchtrap name is cool too because when the names end in trap like this it makes me think they're like warrior cats adjacent. So in this one they just fluctuate between either Malhare or Glitchtrap

-Also another reason he's my super fave is because my brain predicted it's gloop form!!!!

-Like no joke literally the same character I dreamt about during the early days before Princess Quest.

-Except mine was a shadow like the shadow animatronics. More wispy than gloopy. I think the reason I dreamt it was because Shadow Toy Chica and fan made shadow animatronics were getting popular!! But legit same character and colors!!!!!!!

-Just a big dark mass with purple eyes surrounding it like literally the same character my brain came up with and I'm just wow <3333 minus the fact my design had really big giant swirly white eyebrows

-However my Shadow Glitchtrap was kinda more wack to say the least. Like heheheh cuz Glitchtraps a fursuit there's no denying that I changed the dream design a bit. In my old Glitchtrap designs they'd have a zipper and so what would happen was they'd unzip and flip their insides into outsides to reveal the Shadow Glitchtrap thing which was hiding inside them.

-Like those plushies that you can unzip to reveal a different plushie design basically!!!!

-TBH I prefer Glooptrap because yeah!!!!! Amalgamation of hate let's go!!!!!! I think with how gloopy he is its just fun to draw I love the fact that the weird Glitchtrap blockers look like that it fits too much with my own preestablished AU lore.

-I feel like Glitchtrap turns into Glooptrap from like the seams of their suit. Like you see that each part the suit got stitched just turn black as black liquid pours out like ohhh that shit haunted!!!! Bursting outta the seams like oh this guy has no one inside they're all just black sludge!!!!

-In this AU specifically (The one with my millions of Vanny designs) is actually a spoof fnaf AU where everyone lives!!! Like I have 3 AUs technically one of them being the fnaf cast in my oc world where they become my ocs basically called Rabbit City. My other one which is my more serious canon adjacent fnaf AU where no silly stuff or shipping happens, and it's just more overall following my own formed understanding of the canonicity and the series of events with me trying to keep the animatronics more game accurate (I dont think ive posted any of that here due to me feeling like my style limits the nit and grit I wanna go with it). And this one I mainly post on here where everything is just silly and bends to my command and everyone lives because I love everyone <333333 Literally playing with my toys type AU where I do what I want which is why a million vanny designs are in this AU specifically. I usually tag it as this 🦭🩷🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐯 because the original name of this au is self indulgent and I'm embarrassed but it's too iconic to change it.

-Glitchtrap in this AU is just much more goofy and silly infecting people like a zombie virus and possessing them for his own gain. Weird eldritch horror that came out of a fnaf fangame. Anything goes in this AU so if I wanna make Glitchtrap a mind controlling zombie warlock wizard so be it!!!! Sorry I love zombies soo much you will have to take this trope out of my cold dead hands!!!!! I love rot!!!

-That's why it's wrinkly because they too me are like a rotten banana (Even though his associated smell to me is lemongrass). Imagine squeezing a banana still with it's skin on. That's how I imagine bro turns into glooptrap if they didn't open the zipper in time. Also because I love the design trope of rotting and withering sue me. I love when the flesh sags across the body. Wrinkles are great bro theyre so real!!!!! Also because back then people kept drawing him as skinny as a twig??? Even though they have fat??? So I made them fatter mostly because like I love the gloop part of it hiding inside <3333

-They're more green pink and purple because imma be real my fave color combo ever <33333

-I wanna do an xray piece with them soon to show their insides but I'm still uncertain if I have the art prowess to concoct it exactly like how I envision it yet. Like I need to squash and scretch them more. They need to look more decrepit and horrible!!!!! something like the unknown from dbd!!!!

-They can't actually emote properly stuck in a permanent smile

-Glithctrap and Vanny’s dynamic is like Lord Hater and Commander Peepers in this one. There's more character adjacent to the dynamic between them concocted in my head but I wanna draw a comic abt it :]

-Like yeah one second they're besties and the next they're at each other's throats ready to strangle eachother. Vanny reluctantly trying to help him at first like how she was first called.

-Oh also in this specific AU Glitchtrap isn't connected to William in the slightest more just it's own thing!!!!

-He's like an AI that wants to be human. It believes it is human. They've mimicked people too much that they don't know what they are anymore. Or what it wants anymore. What do they want.

[nsoulnet]

🎧- e.w mindbreak

summary: in which ellie gifts reader an odd pair of headphones, and weird things start to happen.

warnings: MDNI!!!!, dom!ellie, sub!reader, manipulation, smuttt, mindbreak, hypno, bdsm, smoking blunts/ weed use, freeuse, exhibitionism, probably more that i forgot to list

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my first ellie fic- enjoy! (tips and such are appreciated)

you're at work one day, humming at your desk as you finish up a task when your coworker ellie comes up to you.

you both don't talk much, but she's always been nice to you. its kind of weird, since she's cold to your other coworkers, but you don't think too much of it.

"hey, i got these headphones and customized them for my friend, but it turns out she doesn't really use them. your old pair broke, right? so i guess you could have these." she says, smiling. such a sweet gesture!

"oh, thank you! ive been wanting a new pair!" you say, returning the warm smile, and ellie hands you a box with some black headphones on them.

you're surprised when you open the box to find pink headphones, and they seem to be a little modified. ellie is long gone so you can't really ask, but you assume it's because the headphones were supposed to be for a friend of hers.

you put the headphones on, and they fit comfortably, so you decide to just start using them. you play some music, but are confused to realize something's wrong. there's an odd frequency playing.

so you just play a different song, except you keep hearing that same frequency. you stop playing the music to see, and think everything's normal again until you listen close and the frequency is still there.

you were raised by a family that was against waste, so you decide to just suck it up and use the headphones anyway. plus, after wearing them for a few days, you find every time ellie sees you with the headphones on, she just looks so excited. probably just really happy to see you using her gift.

however, odd things begin to happen. suddenly, every time you see ellie your panties get all sticky and you just want to follow her around like a lost puppy.

plus, you're getting worse and worse at your job. you start to forget things, or just simply ignore them. because now, all you spend your time at work doing is looking for ellie. she seems to already know you're getting dumber, and she helps with all the 'big girl things' you just can't do anymore.

"hi, angel, you need help right?" she coos every time you come find her to do something for you. "im so proud of you for coming to get me, i know you can't do it by yourself. it's okay..." and her gentle praise only makes your cunt leak more.

your boss sees how you don't really work anymore and gets angrier, much to ellie's advantage. one day, she takes you into the washroom and shows you a video.

one big, sparkly pink spiral is plastered on her phone screen, and she connects your headphones so you can hear the audio -

"you feel so good with your little pussy all wet, all you want are some orgasms right? you don't think any more, you only get dumber and dumber..." and the video trails off.

it feels like hours that you stand there staring at the screen, hypnotized. you feel her hands on your body, touching your nipples and squeezing your boobs. "you want an orgasm right? wanna cum so bad, but you can't do it yourself? come with me, ellie will help." she coos, and your horny broken mind only wants to listen.

ellie takes you to her house, something she's been wanting to do for a long time, "just had to make sure you were dumb enough," she thinks to herself.

she brings you into her room where there's a little cage all perfect for you, with your new favourite color: pink. she ties you up, all pretty, with an even prettier pink ball gag. you squirm a little, confused. you're not completely dumb yet, and ellie's annoyed by that fact.

luckily, there's a good solution. "it's okay princess, ellie will break that mind of yours, alright?" she says, teasingly. now that she has you all for herself, she doesn't need to keep up the nice act.

ellie leaves you to struggle briefly, before coming back with a small egg-shaped vibrator. she tapes it right on top of your clothed clit, before continuing to play hypno files.

you squirm, even though it hurts with all the tight ropes, at the feeling of the vibe. not only have you gotten soo much dumber, you're also needier. without really meaning to, you mumble a series of broken pleas through the gag. you don't care that ellie hypnotized you and is actively trying to break you. all you want is to cum.

ellie smiles when she notices you moving your hips, desperate for more friction. she presses down on the vibe before sliding her hands up your shirt to rub your nipples. the look in your big, teary eyes makes her clit throb.

"come on, know you wanna cum your brains out, so just do it. cum for me angel," she teases, and it sends you over the edge fast. finally, you break, her dumb little nympho toy.

she unties you quickly and removes the gag before taking all your clothes off. "good girls don't wear clothes if they don't need to... right, baby?"

"yes ellie!" you respond, nearly drooling from how good your last orgasm was- and how badly you want another one. ellie immediately takes her pants off when she hears how you say her name. she wants to fuck you soo bad already

shit, and the look in your eyes- like not a single thought passes through your head, ever. that's how she knows you're broken.

ellie lights a blunt fast, and you find yourself practically humping the floor at how hot she is when she smokes. the air in her room seems to get heavier, and it's greenish-yellow tinted. long puffs, and she takes a few hits before turning to you. "always wanted to do this, since the day i first saw that stupidly cute little face," she whispers, chuckling.

she takes a hit, and this time she blows it in your face. you cough, disoriented by the sudden sensation but you love every second of it. and you're happy to be obedient because maybe that means another orgasm- fuck, you just want to cum again.

lucky for you, ellie does too. she picks you up and throws you on her bed, kissing your pretty lips until you can't feel them. she stops momentarily, opening her drawer and getting her strap, a vibrator, and something else you can't see.

you realise what it is when you feel your nipple get pinched harshly, ellie put nipple clamps on you. you whine a little, but come to be... okay with the sensation. you just want to please ellie, after all.

and anyway, being so good for her pays off. you know for sure when she's 8 inches deep inside of you, stuffing your face inside a pillow with one hand and rubbing your clit with the other.

"you gonna make a mess, hm? you gonna make a mess for ellie?" she says, leaning over to kiss your swollen lips. "mhm, yesyesyesyes, 'm gonna make a mess for ellie, fu-u-uckkk, els," you whimper, and you know it's exactly what she wants to hear.

the base of the strap absolutely abuses ellie's clit, and it's not long before her movements become frantic and she gets even meaner. "yeah, you gonna cum your brains out again like a little whore? yeah?" she groans, slapping your ass harshly.

"say it, say you're a stupid whore for ellie," she says, when she doesn't hear a response. she's right about to cum, she just needs to hear you admit it.

"i-im a stupid whore for ellie!" you whine, having your third- or was it your fourth? orgasm since ellie broke you. it didn't matter how many you had, you just wanted more.

ellie nearly felt the same way. having her own little toy, it was too good just thinking about the possibilities.

after that day, ellie tried out all the things she'd been wanting to do. she brought you to work with her, except now you went so you could be the cum dumpster of the office, going under tables to eat your former coworkers out until they came all over your face.

she took you to the park, so she could humiliate you by making you hump random things. she took you to the library, so she could make you ask the female staff about books while controlling the vibrator in your panties,

even at home, ellie humiliated you by making you clean or do gardening outside with a skirt and no panties. anyone sensible would have been way to embarrassed to keep doing these things.

except you didn't really have a problem with your new life, because you always got orgasms, and that was all your dumb, broken slutty brain ever wanted.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩.✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

this account supports palestine 🇵🇸❤️

do not buy any tlou games! neil druckmann, the creator, is a zionist who's funding a genocide! do not give him your money!

https://www.tumblr.com/sulfurcosmos/732456971539775488/how-you-can-help-palestine

[strwberri-milk]

Midnight Blues

Rafayel x Reader || Mild Insomnia, Comfort || 1 184 words

a/n: my toxic trait is pretending im a singer and compiling songs into albums and naming them and midnight blue is the name of the hypothetical album that encapsulates falling in love with rafayel and i guess i could make a playlist bc thats the normal thing to do but i just name fanficitions after them ig. also this is based off his treasure secret time - idgaf about the mensturation i only care about the fact that hums your ass to rest and the lore drop that is rafayel calling you at night when the two of you first start met bc it would help you sleep

You can hardly remember what nights were like before without the sound of his voice in your ears.

You sigh as you sink into your bed, staring up at the ceiling after doing another quick lap around the house to try and tire yourself out. Your body is tired, you know it is. You just wish that you could sleep, not at all excited about the prospect of having to go to work tomorrow after being unable to sleep all night.

You’re about to start your nightly routine of tossing and turning when your phone suddenly starts to ring. A smile makes its way onto your face as you recognise the caller ID, putting your phone against your ear and humming lightly to alert the other side to your presence.

“You’re still awake, huh?” Rafayel’s teasing tone asks through the phone. The two haven’t known each other long but that didn’t seem to bother Rafayel in the slightest.

“Yeah,” you sigh, putting your phone on speaker next to you on the pillow.

All it took was falling asleep one time in a conversation with him for Rafayel to pounce on that and decide to take advantage of it. You swore up and down that it was a mistake, that it wasn’t because of Rafayel that you fell asleep but deep down you know that something about that silky smooth timbre of his voice made your worries go away. You’d never slept so soundly, mortified at the teasing text that he sent you when you read it in the morning.

However, you had to admit defeat and let the man do whatever he wanted. Even before you met him it was clear that Rafayel didn’t care much for whatever the people around him want. He does as he pleases and now, it seems that he’s convinced you won’t sleep without him talking to you.

“If you wanted me to call you all you had to do was ask,” he says after a while, letting you get settled in bed.

“I’m grown. I can take care of myself,” you reply, Rafayel imagining a slight pout on your features as you did so.

“Ah, I see. So you don’t need me to talk you to sleep then? I’ll hang up then.”

“Wait!” you shout quickly, shooting out of bed and grabbing your phone.

“Don’t…don’t go. Please?”

“Begging now? I guess if you’re that desperate for my company I’ll give it to you.”

You can hear how smug he is, rolling your eyes at how obvious his tells are. You wonder how Thomas hasn’t figured him out yet – Rafayel isn’t nearly as sneaky as he seems to think he is.

“Are you driving?” you ask after a second, settled back into bed again and listening carefully to his end of the call.

“I’m heading back from an exhibition. I could have booked a hotel but I didn’t feel like staying the night there so I’m making the long drive home. I called you to see if you’d keep me company.”

You tug your blankets around yourself, losing yourself in their warmth as you yawn. The exhaustion begins to sit on your shoulders again but this time, it feels more manageable. His voice swims around your head as he starts rambling about the exhibition. You’re glad to hear that it went off without a hitch, having declined his invitation yourself due to a more urgent task of the day.

“Are you even listening to me?” he asks, bringing your attention back to him.

“Hmm? Yeah, sellers bullying you, people hitting on you, same old same old,” you mumble, burying yourself further into your bed.

“If you didn’t like it that much, why didn’t you just make something up to get out of it?”

“I couldn’t bail on Thomas again. I felt bad for him constantly fielding off journalists and this show was supposedly a big deal so I decided to do him a favour. Plus, I blew off all the shows so far this month so I might as well make myself seen at a more important one.”

Leave it to Rafayel to make doing his job seem like a favour to someone else. Even if he acts like he’s got his head in the clouds you know he’s genuinely kind – if you’ve got the patience to go digging through the layers that make up the enigmatic artist. You feel thankful that the world brought you to him, even if you weren’t sure what the budding feeling in your chest is.

“You had a long day, huh? I can hear it in your voice.”

You give him another hum, not wanting to bother with any words.

“Even if I ask you a question you don’t need to reply. It’s getting late and I won’t be home for at least another hour. I really did just want your company you know. I’m glad that you answered my call. It would have been miserable if I had to drive home all alone.”

It doesn’t take Rafayel much time to start rambling at you again. You don’t know how he manages to find anything and everything to say to you and keep himself entertained, laughing at his own jokes and taking the soft noises you make as jumping off points to completely go on a new tangent.

When he hears your light snores and steady breathing, he smiles to himself. The sound of your breath surrounds him in his car and if he weren’t such a responsible driver, he’d close his eyes just to pretend that he’s laying in bed with you.

Normally, Rafayel was perfectly content driving home in silence, finding the long expanse of road the perfect opportunity to ground himself after all of the cameras and people in his face. Honestly, he only left when he did to make sure he’d be able to call you at the same time he did every night. Your inability to sleep well worried him and even if you didn’t fully understand the extent of his feelings towards you, he wouldn’t let that get in the way of taking care of you. You make him happy after all, especially when he hears you try to rouse yourself from sleep in a desperate attempt to show him that you’re listening to him. The mental image of your sleepy eyes trying to focus on his face makes his heart melt, impatiently tapping his finger against the steering wheel at the annoyance of being unable to call you his just quite yet.

Even when he gets home, he doesn’t hang up on you. He’s careful to do his nightly routine quietly, using the sound of your breathing as his favourite symphony and he settles down for the night himself. He even continues to speak to you softly, wanting to make sure that his voice lulls you into a truly restful slumber. He thinks about you a lot and being able to help you in any form always makes his heart feel so full.

He won’t admit that talking to you on these late nights makes him sleep well too, putting his phone on the pillow beside him before falling asleep to thoughts of you.

[beforeimdeceased]

IM SO HOOKED ON CRYBABY I NEED MORE OMG

CRYBABY! - (E.W) PT6

pairing: mean/cruel ellie x sensitive/emotional reader.

synopsis: you’ve had enough at this point.

a/n: the next chapter is already in the works and guys…things get so… like there’s no going back i think this is the end point 😭

i don’t care if it hurts

masterlist.

no one can get a word in before jesse breaks up the fight. “we go on in two minutes. get it together. fucking get cleaned up.” he pulls at ellie.

you’re baffled, really. such a silly word but it’s the only one you can use. abby never really got into fights, that you’d known of. she was one of your best friends. and you never had the heart to tell her about what ellie had done, so how did she figure everything out? why are you spiraling? ellie probably said or did something to get herself punched. maybe this has nothing to do with you?

“and i’m very excited to introduce our next performers. watching them go from garages, to performing on stages, to signing record deals has been a beautiful journey. i’m happy to say i’ve been here since the beginning. now please make some noise for, seattle revival!”

you and abby are sat backstage as you dress her wounds. you wait to hear a familiar string of notes from jesse as he starts their first song, but you’re surprised by ellie’s voice on the mic.

“guys i just want to start the show off by apologizing to someone very near a dear to me. a very special person in my life who i’ve hurt—“

“we love you ellie!”

“aww i love you too. i want to say i’m sorry to her because i did some really fucked up shit in the past and i hope that she can forgive me and that we can move past it.”

the crowd cheers.

“and go back to being lovey dovey girlfriends. please forgive me babe. it’ll never happen again.”

abby’s mouth falls so far to the ground you could stick your fist in it. her face has never turned red faster. “what the fuck is she talking about? you guys were—are dating?”

you frantically shake your head. “no abby she’s lying. i don’t know what she’s gaining from it either. i think we should go now.”

“and this next song is dedicated to her—“ she points to you, an employee tugs at you to make you more visible, pulling you to the stage. a spotlight falls on you. everybody’s phone is up. everybody’s flash is on. here come the waterworks, fuck. didn’t you say you weren’t gonna cry today?

and then a familiar string of notes plays. jesse and dina catch on quickly, and your heart seeps. there was no way she was playing this song right now.

“when you were here before.”

you’re taken back to that first rehearsal. stuffed in jesse’s parents garage on a gloomy day. you were sitting on a scratched up couch, petting his cat. ellie looked over to you with a smile on her face. “you listen to a lot of music?”

you nod. “i love music. i was honestly so excited to hear you guys are starting a band. i’ll be your first groupie! handmade merch and everything.”

she laughs before whispering something to jesse and dina, then returning to the mic. “we’re gonna dedicate this one to our first groupie.”

“couldn’t look you in the eyes.”

dina and jesse slipped off after that practice and you knew they’d gone to go fuck somewhere, so you stayed with ellie. “they have no idea how to be discreet about it.” you laugh. she shrugs. “good on them, atleast i’m not alone dealing with it anymore.”

she’d convinced you to grab icecream with her. nestled in the booth of the old restaurant over an icecream sundae. soft music playing from its speakers. it was nearly empty, and it had started to rain outside.

“so how long have you known jesse and dina?” you ask, dipping a spoon in your side of the sweet treat. she grabs a cherry from the top, popping it into her mouth. “since we were kids in highschool. those are my best friends. i’m excited to be starting a band with them, and i’m glad i got to meet you.”

you blush.

you’re crying now. onstage, you’re crying. you can feel the tears slipping down your cheeks and underneath your chin. you wipe at them but they just won’t go away. she was so sweet to you a couple years ago. she was the sweetest person you’d ever met. how could you even compare the person singing to you now, and the person you’d met back then?

then you get a glimpse of her. it’s in her eyes. you’re flashing back between that memory and now. her hand in yours, running through the rain. catching the bus back to jesse’s. staying up and watching movies all night. waking up the next day to the lovebirds apologizing, while you and ellie laugh about it so hard your stomachs started to ache.

and you’re conflicted because this is the same ellie that got drunk at a party and threw up all over you. twice. then the next day said, “atleast it was better than what you’d been wearing.” jesus, she was addicting. she’d hooked you in and completely destroyed you. your self esteem. and now she was trying to play nice?

out of the corner of your eye, before you can catch it, abby is walking onstage. she takes a moment to look at you, tears streaming down your face, and decides to turn around. she walks away and it takes you a minute to follow behind. calling for her. begging her to come back.

“abby stop. where are you going?”

“no, just stop. you’re pathetic. why do you take the shit she does? don’t you have any respect for yourself?”

you’ve never heard her speaking to you this way. between your head rushing from the crying and the whiplash you’re getting from her harsh words, you feel like you’re going to pass out. “i don’t just take it abby. how do you even know about that stuff—“

“because jesse and dina told me! i’m supposed to be your best fucking friend but you can’t even communicate the simplest of things. the things i know are hurting you inside. i was gonna— never mind. fucking forget it.”

and then she walks away, disappearing into a hallway. fading away slowly like a ghost. body blurred from your tears. you feel your feet get weak first, then you drop to your knees and onto the ground. huddling within yourself. letting all your tears fall.

the “seattle revival’s last show after party” is one you refused to miss. with everything happening between abby and ellie, you were more than prepared to let it all go. to get drunk or high or whatever the fuck, and stop feeling. this very thought picked you up off that floor, and led you to the dressing rooms. you enjoyed the rest of the show from there, wiping at your face so hard you felt like it would bruise.

when the band found their way into the dressing room, dina and jesse rushed over to comfort you. “i swear i’d bash her head in if it didn’t interfere with the tour. i’m sorry, i shouldn’t be apologizing for her but it’s the only way you’ll get a real one. i’m sorry.”

you had sat with the pain for long enough. you’d cried enough. you didn’t know where abby was or why she said what she did but it was your breaking point. if you were a house, she had pulled a loose brick. making everything collapse within itself. and tumble over everyone else in its path. you felt like…ellie. the world had darkened. the small light, the tiny bits of happiness in you, had melted away. you didn’t care anymore.

you get up to face ellie, her smile fading when her eyes meet yours. everything had left them. all that purity. all that love, was gone.

“honestly i’m over it. let’s go to the after party.”