#was somehow almost always having the moon shine through

[kunikame]

venus, planet of love. - mitsuki i.

warning(s) : hurt/comfort, mitsukis inferiority complex, i7 are the planets dont ask me why just read the fic, i love u izumi mitsuki u are so me w/c : 1619

you know love is real because izumi mitsuki exists, and he is full of it.

mitsuki loves many things – he loves iori, ZERO, re:vale, idolish7, his parents, the bakery, .. the list goes on endlessly, for izumi mitsuki is love itself. he is a lover through and through, he was raised with love enveloping him all around, and he spreads it around to everyone shamelessly and selflessly.

the only thing mitsuki doesn’t really love is himself – he is second. always, always second.

second to his genius younger brother, secondary to all his group members, always the kid picked last unless iori was the leader.

there was nothing particularly wrong with him that made it this way, he was, simply put, mediocre. a jack of all trades but master of none, if you will.

so you can imagine it didn’t quite surprise him to be less popular than his group mates by a huge margin. he didn’t stand out with anything, he had nothing for himself that would make him stand out – he wasn’t too likeable. he was aware of this, he has known this for a while – but it still hit him quite hard.

it was horrible, really, to see a light so bright become dim because it cannot see itself – it only sees the other lights, and becomes lost in their glow, mistakenly led to believe he does not shine at all.

it certainly does a number on the sight to gaze directly at the sun.

perhaps if he was brighter, if he was made of something different, he, too, would shine – would be loved.

you’ve always compared idolish7 to the planets in the sky, and fittingly so, as to you, a friend and fan, they are the center of a greater something. something only they can create, something that is tried and tested and truly theirs, because they shine brighter than all the stars combined, and because they deserve to have their place in the universe.

if nanase riku is the sun, a sense of purpose, then iori izumi is the moon, instinct. nikaido yamato is jupiter, expansion. nagi rokuya is saturn, responsibility. tamaki yotsuba is uranus, freedom. osaka sogo is mercury, adaptability. 

izumi mitsuki is venus, love.

for it is not love if it is not izumi mitsuki. it is not izumi mitsuki if it is not love.

you just wish he knew that.

which is exactly why when he got offers to mc on variety shows, you encouraged him to take them, to try them – maybe he’ll end up liking them. he is really funny, after all, a natural conversationalist. he is exactly the type variety mc’s like to interview the most, you’re almost certain he would be good at the job.

and he was – he was so good, in fact, he earned idolish7 their very own namesake show, with him as the mc.

he finally had something for himself, something that was purely his, something that defined and solidified his place in idolish7. something that made him irreplaceable.

seeing mitsuki try so earnestly and work so hard, you honestly didn’t know what to do. sometimes, you’d want to say “good luck!”, but other times you feel a “you don’t have to work so hard” would be better, as he was literally working himself to the bone to please everyone he possibly could – for what is he, if not love?

he never desired whatever side parts come with fame – he simply wanted to make people happy. that was his one true ambition, his goal. he doesn’t need anyone to love him, as long as they love the things he loves – as long as they love idolish7. it would sting, of course, to be left behind, to be unfavored, but he supposed he could live with that reality. he was finally accepted after all those failed auditions, he was doing what he loved, with the people he loved by his side.

he believed he could somehow get used to being disliked.

being disliked for doing something he loved however, that was a different story. 

he thought by mc-ing he could get closer to the others in popularity – and, from a certain point, it was true – his popularity did rise a bit, and he definitely did receive more fan letters and positive comments now, but the fated encounter and the unfortunate “he’s so annoying, i wish he would shut up” would continue to ring in his head for a long while to come.

he has just built up his confidence and stability like a fine tower of cards, fearing the slightest gust of wind lest it gets knocked off and tumbles onto his wooden desk in a messy pile – but instead, someone kicked the desk and the cards flew off and onto the cold, harsh ground, such a far distance off.

nagi had attempted to salvage the situation to the best of his ability, but lifting the cards off the ground isn’t going to rebuild the tower – mitsuki will have to do that himself.

handing him the cards while he does so was a simple act of kindness on your part.

“mitsuki?”

he startles mid stretch, an earbud falling out as he turns his head.

“[name]? what are you still doing here?”

“i was looking for you, then i ran into iori– he said i’d find you here,” you made your way over to sit next to him on the floor, sharing a look through the mirror facing you, “what are you doing here so late?”

“y’know, just practicing. gotta catch up and stuff, haha.”

“you’re already good enough as you are, mitsuki. you don’t need to chase after anything or anyone.”

he heaves an exhausted sigh, fiddling with the wires from his earbuds, “i do, though. i’m smaller than the others so i’m often off beat during the choreographies. i need to do more work to make sure i stay on.”

“you shouldn’t work so hard all the time. you’re tearing yourself apart trying to do this and that all at the same time – i understand your intentions, but i feel the way you’re going about them is going to bring you ruin in the end. as a friend first and fan second, i care for your health, and i don’t want to see you destroy yourself.”

“i’m not as good as them th–”

“yes, you are. you’re too absorbed in seeing them as the brightest lights to see yourself shining just as much as them. popularity polls don’t define who you are as a person, or how much you work, or how hard you try. the others know that, though, and so do i. we all see how much effort and care you put into your work, mitsuki – we know you pour out your heart and soul into everything you do, desperately trying to make it the best, trying to make people happy with you, and you do. the disapproving voices simply sound louder to you at this point in time, because those are the ones you’re most exposed to. it is however not hatred and dislike that kills entertainers, it’s love.”

the ginger listened attentively, taking your monologue in, dissecting it bit by bit. though he seems to disagree, he does understand your view and he respects it – he just doesn’t quite understand. he looks up at the mirror, staring in your eyes through it, and his seem to shimmer a tad more than they normally would under the studio lights.

“why love?”

the smile on your face feels a little melancholy, and again, he finds himself not understanding why.

“love can be overbearing and suffocating. sometimes we love things too much – so much we would kill just to keep them to ourselves. we destroy ourselves in an effort to make our loved ones happy or proud, completely blind to our surroundings becoming hazy and hard to navigate, and when you come to, you find you’re all alone in a room once filled with people. love changes, sometimes not in a good way. much like the stars burn up and disappear, the planets, too, will be destroyed by the sun,” you turn to him then, and there is a singular tear streaming down his face. you reach out to wipe it with your finger, and he blinks, “i don’t want to see that happen to you, because to me, you are love.”

“the destructive kind?”

“no, the beautiful kind. i see pieces of you in everything i hold dear, because i hold you dear.”

you see him smile for the first time that night, and it is beautiful, blindingly so – brighter than the white leds above his head. 

“i hold you dear, too.”

there’s a comfortable silence as you gaze at each other, the instrumental to their new song faintly heard from his long discarded earbuds on the floor.

“hey, did you know venus is the brightest planet naturally visible in the night sky?”

perhaps the planet of love itself was destroyed by being loved too much, but not izumi mitsuki – never izumi mitsuki.

izumi mitsuki loved many things. he loved iori, ZERO, re:vale, idolish7 – the list goes on. he was a lover, raised to love the things and people around himself.

“oh, really?”

but izumi mitsuki was also loved. loved by his fans, group mates, parents – by you.

the izumi mitsuki you knew had his love returned to him tenfold by his surroundings – be it the flowers his eyes linger on, the deep orange hues of the setting sun as they caress his face, the stray pets he feeds when he sees them – everything.

the izumi mitsuki you know is loved.

“yeah.”

maybe one day he will learn to love himself, too. 

ੈ✩₊˚TAGLIST : @gabirii //ask/comment or fill form to be added/removed! (if you’re in bold i can’t tag you)

[snazzymolasses]

also the patch of moonlight falling on my bed

patch of sunlight from the window save me

[ragingbookdragon]

Hanging By A Moment

Bayverse Transformers x Reader Blurbs

Word Count: 940 Warnings: None

Author's Note: I love TF so much. I miss it all lol -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Ironhide:

“This is…different,” she notes as she arrives into the darkened field; the veil of the moon blankets the land in an ivory haze, yet Ironhide’s sleek body is visible from even the edge. It’s remote enough that they don’t have to worry about being seen; she nears him with a curious look on her face. “Ironhide?”

His tailgate lowers and with a surprised expression that quickly gives way to a pleasant smile, she climbs onto the back, kicks her shoes off, and lays down on the makeshift bedding, resting her head on the pillow.

“Did you do this all for me?” she asks. “Aren’t you so sweet underneath all that firepower.”

“Have to treat my best girl, don’t I?” Ironhide teases back. “You’ve been working awfully hard lately. Even I know to take a break once in a while.”

She hums and curls into the blankets, almost feeling like they’re keeping warm and toasty. “No rest for the wicked, Ironhide. The Decepticons won’t wait while I rest.”

He grumbles, deep and low, and she can’t help but laugh. “Then you’ll rest, and I’ll kick ass.”

“Okay, bud,” she jokes, resting her head back on the pillow. “Take care of me while I rest.”

***

Rachet:

“When I said I wanted to spend some time alone with you, Rachet…this isn’t necessarily what I meant.”

His frame rumbles as he slows to a stop on the side of the canyon. “I can turn around, if you’d like?”

“You better not,” she warns and points a finger at the steering wheel. “You promised to take me out to the stars.”

She can hear the smile in his hum as he starts driving again. “When you mentioned you’ve always wanted to see the stars up close, I figured this would be the best I could give you.” He shifts back the roof, and her eyes widen at the expanse of bright stars above her.

“Oh my God,” she breathes, unable to help but stand up in the front seat, rising out of the rooftop. “Rachet, it’s…it’s incredible.”

He slows to a stop at the edge and stills. “It’s almost as incredible as you are. But somehow, their brightness can’t even come close to how beautiful you shine.”

Slipping back into the seat, she reaches forward and gently presses her lips to his steering wheel. “Thank you, Rachet. For doing this for me…for us.”

***

Bumblebee:

It’s almost one AM by the time they make it back into the city. Eerily enough, the roads are almost empty, and Bumblebee has a straight shot back to the facility, but he passes the particular highway that leads to it.

She notices from her sleepy haze in the passenger seat. “Bee? You missed the turn.”

He makes a noise that she recognizes as his answer of “Yes.”

“Where are we going?” she’s not worried in the slightest, knows that Bumblebee wouldn’t ever take her somewhere she could get hurt; she’s still curious though.

“Don’t worry about it,” a voiceover from a TV show filters through and she snorts tiredly.

“Alright, Bee, keep your secrets.” She shifts in his seat and reclines back, unable to help but trace the threading in the console. “You takin’ me home, Bee?”

“Take me home tonight!” he sings, and she smiles, gently shutting her eyes as the streetlights still shine across her face as they pass between shadows.

“I’m happy, Bee,” she murmurs. “You know that? I’m always happy with you.”

He’s silent for a long while and she wonders if maybe he didn’t hear her, but it doesn’t bother her as she curls up in the passenger seat and begins to drift off, only to hear quietly through the speakers, “I’m living for the only thing I know. I’m running and not quite sure where to go. And I don’t know what I’m diving into, just hanging by a moment here with you.”

***

Optimus:

“Sorry about the rain, Optimus,” she murmurs as they take shelter in the rundown warehouse. “I can’t imagine it’s going to let up…we’ll be here for a while.”

She watches as steam begins to flow from his body, fans in his processors blowing until the water is simply droplets here and there.

“That’s handy,” she jokes, and he meets her gaze with a smile.

“While rust isn’t a big a worry to myself as it is Ironhide, I’d rather not take any chances.”

She nods and takes off her jacket, wringing it out. “It’ll be dark soon. We should set up a perimeter.” The echoing of his transformation sounds in the warehouse, and she looks up. “Optimus?” His door opens and closes a few times until she gets the hint to climb in.

As she enters, the cab opens, and she slips further inside. It’s smaller than she imagined, given that outside he’s much larger but she assumes he’s somehow made some room for her. It’s a small bedding, smaller than a door, but enough that she can curl up on it, propping her arm under her head. She’s about to say it’s cold when the fans blow again and fill the cab with a warmth that feels like she wrapped herself in a blanket straight out of the drier.

And he knows it too as he asks, “Comfortable?”

“Mhm,” she murmurs and scoots back until her back is against the wall of his cab; it feels good to have him at her back, safe and secure. “I think I could lie here forever.”

“When there is peace, my spark,” he says. “We will lie forever.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” and she knows his words ring with truth.

[frxxxncx]

happy birthday - c. seungcheol

»idol!¡Choi Seungcheol x fem!¡reader.

»Summary: It´s midnight and you´re alone in your apartment for your birthday.

»Tags: smut (MDNI), oral (f. receiving), cunnilingus, pet names, establish relationship, idolau, fingering, countertop oral(?, body worship, dom!seungcheol, sub!reader, reader is mention to have her ears pierced, seungcheol is strong af.

»Words: 1.4k (idk)

note: i feel like as much as Cheol likes people to congratulate him on his birthday, he would try his best to do the same for his partner, idk, it was my birthday like three days ago and i just miss him so much ;c

note 2: Any typo or incoherence that you might find was completely intentional, it’s for the sake of learning about my mistakes.

Your hair tickled on the back of your neck, the soft air of the night making it dance on your skin.

In this particularly cold night, you looked at the moon with a solemn expression in your face, you were sitting in the balcony... alone, with the big and shining sphere who has always been the witness of your bittersweet nights filled in loneliness, but also bystander of those you spent with company.

The memories of his warm body beside you, tugging you into a warm hug seem very distant, like they have been only a long and wonderful dream.

You closed your eyes trying to imagine your boyfriend being there, his hoarse voice congratulating you for your birthday as soon as the clock hits midnight like he always used to do.

Filling your face with kisses and caressing your body with softness, but he wasn't there.

It's been four months since the last time you saw him, his schedule always filled to the brim, presentations, concerts, interviews, flights, pre-recording, you didn't know what to do, you talk all the time, texts, calls, FaceTime, but it's not enough, it's just to little of him for you.

You hugged yourself and the clock rang announcing midnight.

"Happy birthday to me" you said while an uncontrollable tear slipped through your reddened cheek.

You got up, and palmed the dirt of your shirt to get inside the apartment. Dragging your feet, you threw yourself in your bed, crashing into the mattress, hurting your back with the tv controller that was laying there before.

You took the controller from behind your back, to settle in the bed hugging your pillow tightly, arching your back making your shirt -your boyfriend's shirt- lift.

"Fuck, what a nice view" the velvety yet masculine voice of your boyfriend rang in your ears, and startled you sat in your bed.

There he was, standing in the door frame, with a big box of chocolates, a bottle of wine and a cute bouquet of your favourite flowers. His pearly smile lighted the gloominess in the room, making your heart flutter.

"Happy birthday, baby" he said sweetly but with an apologetic smile, maybe thinking you were upset by his tardiness.

You wanted to cry big time, you were certain that he was extremely tired from his rehearsals, but yet you were so happy that he took the time to come.

Euphoric you got out of bed, running to him and jumping on his arms, pinning your legs on his hips and locking your arms in his neck. Seungcheol, was in a tough position, his arms were full with the gifts and now you were clinging onto him like a tick, he has to admit it, his core balance is pretty sick.

Your face rested in the crock of his neck and the woody smell stroke your nostrils, and with that you were sure that him being there was not a dream.

You raised your face, his eyes were like two shining stars and his sweet smile almost made you melt in his arms. With his hands still very occupied, he managed to hug you back and give a loud kiss on your temple.

"I missed you so much" he whispered in your ear, his soft lips caressing your earlobe sending shivers down your spine.

A chill ran down your body making you tighten your grip on his neck.

"I missed you too, Cheolie"

Seungcheol, who was somehow still lifting you, got out of the room and went straight to the kitchen, putting everything in place, the chocolates in the table, the flowers in the pot and the wine, well, the wine in the wine fridge. When his hands were free he decided to sit you in the aisle in the middle of the kitchen.

Your legs and arms untangled from his figure, but he didn't move an inch, with your legs on each side of his hips, he started to leave kisses in the soft skin of your neck, sweet kisses in the freckles of your shoulders, but biting and sucking your collarbone.

His black shirt which you were using was starting to get in the way and quickly he got rid of it. He admired your bare chest, your beautiful and delicate skin, your breasts that fit in his hands just perfectly.

He kept kissing your skin while his hands were now fondling your breast enjoying the soft moans that escaped your mouth. A loud whimper dance away from your mouth, when his lips started to give pecks at your breasts.

He missed you so much, he just wanted you to touch you, draw your whole body with his fingers, engrave every curve of your body in his memory.

The tips of his fingers were now caressing your thighs doing imaginary figures, stroking with care. His kisses got to the base of your stomach, your fingers were starting to curl thrilled.

"God, you're so perfect" he whispered against your belly, making you shiver.

Your hands squeezed tightly the edge of the isle, knuckles whitening at the action and almost losing feeling in your fingers. You laid, your body suddenly feeling heavy, a whine slipped from your lips as Seungcheol’s fingers ran over your clotted cunt, just a little caress over your clothes making you shiver, not even directly and still it felt so good.

He tugged with his thumbs in the elastic of your underwear, stroking faintly with his fingers the journey to your ankles, making your skin burn exquisitely.

Now with your underwear long forgotten in some dark corner of the kitchen, Seungcheol's fingers travelled through the inside of your thighs once again.

As his digits got closer and closer to your core, he stopped, gripping the soft flesh of your legs tightly, making you moan.

Seungcheol put his rough palms in your knees, and testing your flexibility he pushed as much as he could without hurting you, his eyes travelled from your eyes to your cunt, licking his lips at the stirring view, your core sopping in your arousal.

His breath was hot against your wet and puffy lips, how was it even possible for you to feel this worked up when you haven't even started yet?, you were eager to know what was about to come next.

Like two petals the kisses were soft and silky, lips dancing skilfully on your cunt, making you chant his name in an obscene mantra, he drank till the last drop of your arousal, like it was one of his favourite wines.  

His tongue strokes over your sex, drawing fat strips with the hot muscle, enjoying your exquisite flavour like a starving man, but also pleased for being able to make you moan just like a porn star.

You could feel his hot tongue inside of you, his nose bumping with your clit, making your toes curl, you are not sure if it is because you love him so much, but Seungcheol is just so fucking good at giving you head, he knew where to touch, where to suck, he knows your body like the palm of his hand and that makes you even wetter.

And when he pressed his big hand onto your belly you felt how the coil that has been building up started to erupt, like firework exploiting inside of you, and when your orgasm washed you over, he drank it all, leaving you a trembling mess, receiving more pleasure from hearing you become such a mess just from giving you head, ignoring completely the hard on pressing painfully against his jeans.

His blonde hair felt soft against your thighs, when he lifted his face to looked at you, you could help but let a pathetic cry slip your mouth, his lips were bright red and glossy, chin covered in your arousal, he was panting, expression denoting adoration, making your heart melt in the spot.

His eyes looked at you lovingly, his tongue licking what it could from your excitement from his lips, his face got close to yours, lips kissing your earlobe feeling the cold metal of your piercing in his lips.

"I love you"

Your chest tightened, happiness overflowing your body, you stole a soft and innocent kiss from Seungcheol, making him laugh.

"I love you too"

"Happy birthday"

"Well now I'll go get your present" he got up and started to walk towards the door but you were confused.

"Wait" you said and he stopped in the door frame to look at you with a smile, head tilted to the side "My presents weren't the chocolates, the wine and the flowers?" the disorientation in your voice was obvious.

"No, that was just a small gift" he furrowed his eyebrows still smiling, yet his expression was showered in disbelief "Do you think I'm broke or something?"

[schrodingers-romy]

You Don’t Gotta Hold Me Down, Baby (I Know How to Sink) [Shidou Ryusei x Reader]

Pairing: Shidou Ryusei x GN!Reader Word Count: ~1800 [Ao3 Link]

Summary: Ryusei is used to feeling empty at the end of the day; at least, until he has you.

Warnings: crying, some light depression i think from shidou, kisses, reader and ryusei are both lonely and weird idk what to tell you, no gendered pronouns/terms used for reader, gratuitous petnames, some innuendo but nothing sexual/heated happens

Notes: I read in the character book line where he 'cries at the end of the day when he becomes nothing' and I haven't stopped thinking about it. I sincerely hope it's in character but idk. I love him anyways tho and I had fun writing this <3 Title is a lyric from RELAX AFTER WORK WITH A DRINK by Lilyisthatyou.

At the end of the day, Shidou Ryusei becomes nothing.

During the day, lit by the radiance of the sun, he was something. He was in control of his own destiny, a daredevil chasing the high of the next explosion. Whether that explosion came from kicking a soccer ball or kicking some slime’s face in was irrelevant; it was the rush of endorphins it gave him that was important. He was in peak form, the predator at the top of the food chain, devouring the opportunities the world had gifted him, glutting himself on whatever adrenaline high presented itself. But it never lasted; the explosive energy he had faded to nothing at the end of the day, pleasure slipping through his fingers like smoke in the wind, escaping him with the escaping daylight. After sunset, he was left empty, void of any sort of vitality; like a combustion engine with no fuel to light, he was left stiff, and cold, and useless. Forgotten.

He didn't even bother trying to stay up much past sunset, most days. Even with the sun’s lingering warmth rising from the earth during the night, it was always too cold for him, without the light shining on him. He was a photosynthetic organism, relying on sunlight to create his own sustenance in the form of his explosions.

Ryusei liked to think that the faster he went to sleep, the faster he would see the sun again.

It even worked, sometimes.

But sometimes it didn't. Sometimes he lay there for hours, too tired to do anything, and too tired to sleep. It was a bone-deep exhaustion, one that made his joints ache dully, and his eyes stay stuck open, as tears dripped freely down from them onto the thin and faded material of his pillowcase. Those nights, he desperately waited for the sun to return, so he could come back to life. So he could go back to seeking some way to make himself feel. And maybe he would be lucky enough to somehow make his mark on the world, so he would no longer fade from it every night like a mirage.

But he hadn’t made a mark on the world yet. He had yet to make something of himself.

So, at night, Shidou Ryusei would cry as he became nothing.

-

You were both a particular brand of lonely.

Something in the both of you had noticed each other; like calling to like. You were too close for people who had known each other for such a short period of time; it would be concerning, if either of you cared. But you didn’t, so you spent your days attached at the hip. Gorging yourselves on the attention of the other, desperate creatures starved for the acknowledgement and understanding that you had only ever found in each other.

It wasn’t an understanding borne of explicit conversation; the two of you had discussed almost everything under the sun and moon, but you both excelled at skirting the razor’s edge of baring your issues fully. Whether it was because neither of you understood your own mind yourself, or because some sort of animal instinct in you just understood each other without having to spill the gore of your worst feelings, it was unclear. It didn’t really matter, anyways. You were two sides of the same corroded coin, two pieces of a defective puzzle that could only ever fit together.

-

It was past midnight, and you were exhausted. The noise from the television was nothing more than the canned background hum to Ryusei's presence. The true focus of the scene was his flickering gaze and the hot press of his thighs against yours. You were sitting so close you could nearly count every single one of his numerous blond lashes. The shadows they cast on his cheeks were hypnotizing to you, and you found yourself leaning into him, with a combination of your own sleepiness and the dizzy, floaty sensation you always felt when you were this close to him casting you off balance. You could not help yourself from leaning further in, until you were falling into him. Your cheek landed pressed onto the warmth of his exposed collarbone, where his oversized shirt collar had slipped down to reveal tanned skin. You let out a heavy sigh, nuzzling into him, as he wrapped his arms around you to pull you ever closer to his heated body.

“Tired, babes?” he asked, the uncharacteristic deep, slow tone to his voice betraying his own sleepiness.  

“Mhmm hmm,” you mumbled. “Too tired to go home. I’m staying here tonight.”

With anyone else, you wouldn’t have been so bold as to invite yourself to stay the night for the first time. But everything was different with Ryusei. You could be as bold as you wanted, take what you wanted, without fear of ridicule or rejection or anger. He would just give you a particular feral grin, when you asserted yourself, that made you feel confident and on top of the world.

It’s only because you’re so close that you felt the slight hitch in his breath. He covered it nearly seamlessly with his usual attitude. “Of course! I’d love to have you spend the night with me, sexy~”

You nipped lightly at his collar bone, chastising. “Just sleeping, Ryu, no innuendo intended.”

“Aww, how can you say that, after putting your teeth on me,” he whined, teasing. “You know that gets me going, sugar…”

“I want you to get going. To sleep,” you retorted. “I’m tiredddd.” You let your voice trail into a childish whine.

“Can’t have that, can we?” Ryusei shifted, sliding one arm underneath your thighs and one behind your back to lift you up into a bridal carry. “Do I have Your Highness’s permission to take you to bed? I promise not to have my wicked way with you there. Knight’s honor.”

“Ah, why would I not trust my most loyal knight? Take me away, good sir.”

Ryusei grinned wide enough to show gums, before carrying you out of the living room with surprising gentleness.

(Though it wasn’t entirely surprising, to you.)

-

The room was dark, aside from the weak, silvered light of the moon and stars that leaked from Ryusei’s uncovered window. It was just bright enough for you to see the faintest details of his face.

He looked softer, hair down, kohl washed away, venomous pink eyes half-lidded; a sort of physical representation of how he bared himself to you. You were compelled to pull him closer to you, until you could bury your face into his product-free hair. You let out a contented hum at feeling the abnormal silkiness of it.

You were so comfortable; you felt like you were melting into the mattress. It had been forever since you had gone to sleep feeling so relaxed (and safe, and not alone); you couldn’t be blamed for nearly drifting off the second you laid down with Ryusei in your arms.

You were almost gone, slipping into dreamland by the pull of the gentle hands of Morpheus, when you felt Ryusei begin to tremble in your arms.

It was like a switch had been flipped, removing sleep from the edges of your mind like the swipe of an eraser on a chalkboard. You were immediately focused on him.

“Ryusei? Are you okay?” you whispered, a sliver of panic slipping into your voice.

You could feel him shaking slightly in your hold, arms wrapped in a vice grip around you, face pressed tightly into your neck, hiding his expression from you. You felt a drip of wetness fall onto your skin and slip down.

He was crying.

“Baby,” you murmured, hugging his lax body even closer to yours, like you could tuck him away into your ribcage, safe and sound. “Ryu, darling, what’s wrong?” You felt off-balance, perhaps for the first time since you had met. Your understanding did not extend to this, not when he had so carefully pirouetted around any true pain he felt when you talked.

He gripped you tighter for a moment, fingers digging into your skin hard enough to leave bruises, before he relaxed his hold. “Nothin’s wrong.” He lifted his head to look at you.

The tear trails on his face were lit up like liquid drips of mercury in the moonlight. But he didn’t look devastated, as you expected; instead, he had the smallest, softest smile you had ever seen him wear. Even in the half-light, his gaze was soaked in so much affection, he looked love-drunk. It rendered you speechless.

“Y’know,” he laughed wetly, “I usually cry, at night. When I become nothing.” He took a deep, shuddering breath.

You lifted one hand to his face, wiping away the fresh flow of tears that leaked from his glittering eyes. Your eyebrows were creased, a pang going through your heart at his words.

But he wasn’t done, pausing only to nuzzle his cheek further into your hand, like a housecat. “Still cryin’, tonight, but I’m not sad. Y’see babes? I’m not sad. I don’t feel like nothing, I feel happy. Happy tears, sweetheart, just cause tonight I’m with you.” He giggled, hiccupping slightly as his laughter caught on the tears still welling up.

You gaped at Ryusei for a moment, before you yanked him into a kiss. It wasn’t the best kiss ever, still wet with his tears, barely more than a firm press of mouths together before you release him.

He grinned at you for a moment, before dropping back down onto you, boneless. “I feel drunk. Like I’m high. Crossfaded. On you, babe!~” he blabbered, sing-song. “It’s not an explosion, it’s a bonfire inside of me! Shit, this might be better than playing. Or fighting. I might even be a little horny right now, I can’t tell.”

“God, you’re so weird, Ryu.” You punctuated your statement with a firm kiss to his forehead, making an exaggerated ‘mwah’ sound that drew a giggle from the man on top of you. “I love you. I’m gonna be with you forever. I’ll move in, and we’ll sleep together every night, you’ll never feel like nothing again.”

“Maybe I AM horny…horny off of love…emotionally horny?” he rambled. “Fuck, I don’t know, babe, but I love you too, and I’m never gonna let your pretty ass go now, y’hear?”

“Perfect. We’ll become one organism. Symbiosis. Like lichen,” you breathed.

Ryusei let out a lovesick sigh. “Love it when you talk sexy to me.”

You felt one of his hands drift down to squeeze one of your ass cheeks.

You let out an exasperated, but fond sigh. “Ryusei. Go to sleep.”

“Okay honey~” he said, letting out a little giggle into your collarbone.

(And for the first time in years, neither of you fell asleep feeling empty, or lonely; and you would wake up to find joy in the sunrise together.)

[hannahluvsbillie]

causal.

pairing: billie x reader

a/n: this is my first time writing a blurb like this! sorry if it’s lowkey messy and confusing, let me know if it is 😓. i came up with this idea half awake at 1 am and i thought i’d post it here!! ok bye im talking too much

warnings: none (maybe angst if you squint)

“this’ll be casual right?”

billie says, looking into your eyes. the moon shining through the windshield of her car, giving the car a type of lighting that can’t be recreated, especially as it’s shining on her.

you nod. you’ll regret nodding in the later months. when everything doesn’t feel casual. especially these car rides you two have. where she picks you up, then somehow you two end up in the backseat, her between your legs, praising you like your the only woman that really matters to her.

“yeah. causal.” you say under your breath.

billie just nods, smile still lingering on her face as she backs up out of the parking spot and starts to drive back to your apartment.

i tried to be the cool girl that holds her tounge and gives you space.

you and billie were driving, again. it’s become a weekly routine of yours. she picks you up, then she drives to nowhere in specific. then you end up in a parking lot, in the back seat. every. time.

suddenly, her phone lights up. out of pure instinct you look down at it, seeing a DM from instagram. you immediately recognize the username, that’s the girl you saw in her following. it was almost like the username lit up with red light to you.

billie glances over and sees you looking down at her phone, she casually puts her hand over the phone and flips it over to where you couldn’t see it. of course she’s hiding it from you.

whatever, it wasn’t like you two where exclusive. no matter how much you wished you two were, it would never happen.

a few weeks later, you two where in the same spot. the same thing happened. her phone lit up with the same username.

it may of been the lack of sleep you got last night, but you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“who’s that?” you say softly, glancing up at billie.

“hm?” she hums, her hand resting on your thigh. she looks down at her phone and if you weren’t staring at her, you wouldn’t of seen it. but the slightest bit of anxiety crosses her face.

“oh, just some girl.” she says, as if it’s the most obvious thing.

she does the same thing she did last time, and the time before last. she flips her phone over.

“are yall two… like a thing?” you say softly, your voice dripping with anxiety.

“don’t worry about it mama.” she says, looking over at you for a split second.

you wanted to chuck her phone out the window at that moment, irritated by her causal response.

you take a deep breath, this could either lead to another argument or to just a brush off response from her. deep down you hoped for the latter.

“how many girls do you talk to bills?” you say, your tone comes off annoyed. your true emotions showing.

her hand grips your thigh just a bit harder, and her eyebrows raised at your tone.

“whys it matter?”

“we aren’t exclusive.” she says the last sentence under her breath.

that last sentence felt like she just stabbed you in the chest. even though you knew deep down that was the truth, you had found yourself believing a false reality, that maybe she did want more with you. that you could be her one and only.

“oh- i was just wondering.” you say, sounding small. she always had a way to make you feel like you were in the wrong.

but no, it was all just a game to her. your just another one of the girls she talks to. you always will be to her.

[niki-phoria]

月光绽放在 midnight / 心跳漂浮起来

pairing: kamo choso x gn!reader (no pronouns used) genre: fluff word count: 709

notes: i am a long haired choso enthusiast i make no apologies, not proofread !! pls forgive any mistakes, inspo from this prompt list by @me-writes-prompts, title from wayv - after midnight

midnight. the moon shines brightly in the sky, casting a silver glow on the world below. the night is quiet; the silence is only occasionally broken by faint chirps from crickets and tree leaves bustling in the breeze. 

“it’s late,” KAMO CHOSO says as he quietly steps into the light. moonlight shines in through the window, just barely enough to illuminate the tiles of your kitchen floor. “why are you still awake?”

you spare him a brief glance over your shoulder, softly smiling at him in acknowledgement. his curse mark is barely visible in the darkness. it looks like little more than a shadow that stretches across his cheeks. choso’s hair cascades down his back in waves, ending just before his shoulders.

“i couldn’t sleep,” you reply. turning your attention back to your window, your gaze studies the glints of stars that litter the sky above. “i thought some stargazing would help.” 

“stargazing?” he repeats. choso’s footsteps echo throughout your kitchen as he wanders over to stand beside you. his tan robes hang loosely from his frame, missing the usual purple gi wrapped around his torso. stray strands of ink black hair frame his sharp features, free from their usual high buns. 

you nod. “i think it’s relaxing - looking at the moon.”

choso quietly hums in acknowledgement. his attention shifts, following your gaze to look up at the sky above. the stars are just barely visible in the sky. they twinkle in the darkness. from so far away, the moon is little more than a small, glowing light.

“have you ever been in love?” you ask. your voice is quiet, cautious about disturbing the tranquility of the moment. 

“what do you mean?” choso shifts, turning to face you. he’s standing next to you now; his body is so close that you can feel his knuckles ghost against your own when he reaches up to brush his bangs out of his face. 

“you know, romantically,” you shrug. you turn to face him, studying his features in the dim light.

choso pauses, contemplating your question. his fingers find the hem of his robes, toying with the fabric. “i’m not sure. i’ve only ever loved my brothers,” he replies after a brief moment of silence. “have you?”

“it’s been a long time,” you chuckle sheepishly, almost a little embarrassed. “but i thought i was. i wanted it to be love, anyway.”

he nods. choso’s attention momentarily returns to the moon. it shines brightly in the sky, drowning out the light of the stars around it. “what did it feel like? to be in love?”

“it’s…” you pause, searching through your head for the right words. “it’s like unconditional trust. feeling safe with someone, no matter where you are. being with someone and knowing that somehow everything will be okay, as long as you’re both together.”

a comfortable silence falls over the room once again. choso fidgets with the hem of his robes, absentmindedly rolling the thin fabric between his fingers. he mulls over your words in his head. 

curses are the antithesis of humans. they’re born from negative emotions, like fear and anger. it was unheard of for a curse and a human to interact without bloodshed; choso’s own existence was still heavily contested by sorcerers. 

he was used to being met with cruelty and scorn, even when he helped exercise curses himself. but you were different. you were always kind. you greeted him with a soft smile and ensured that his technique was healing his wounds. you held his calloused, bloody hands in your own when you stood against the higher-ups. you made him feel safe - like everything was going to be okay.

choso turns to face you. the stars seem to reflect in his dark eyes; you can almost trace the various constellations in the sky looking back at you. blood rushes to his face, tinting his curse mark a deep shade of red. his ears burn from the heat spreading across his cheeks. 

“y/n,” he murmurs. choso reaches up, hesitantly resting a hand against your face. his thumb strokes against your cheek. his touch is slow and careful. the intimacy of the moment sends butterflies swarming throughout your stomach. “i think i might be in love with you.” 

taglist (open! send an ask/dm to be added): @sunoooism @vaxmpi @sad-darksoul @kamote-kuneho @dog55teeth

if you liked this fic, please comment, reblog, or leave feedback !! and if you want to support me, check out my jjk masterlist <33

[chaiifluuf]

•°. *࿐ What if all i need is you? — d. osamu

synopsis. after going underground for the time being to leave the port mafia, yours and dazai’s friendship starts to feel like something else

content. gn!reader, spoilers for the dark era/season 2 ep 4, lowercase, comfort, fluff, hcs + one-shot, clingy dazai, lowkey bad writing??

notes. i don’t think i’ve ever been this nervous about posting something ( ; ω ; ), anyways first post and first time attempting to actually write smth so this most likely has grammatical mistakes…

dazai who, after witnessing his best friend’s death, arrived at your doorstep at midnight and without a second thought asked you to run away with him.

dazai who tells you everything that happened and why he is willing to make a change, hoping you will come along with him.

dazai who is deep down desperate for your comfort and touch, your soothing words that somehow always manage to find a way to his heart.

dazai who at one point couldn’t hold it together anymore and spends many nights silently crying into your shoulder, for the first time allowing himself to be vulnerable around you.

dazai who believes he will never be quite enough to deserve your endless amount of care and affection.

dazai who was able to have a full night of near peaceful sleep in a while, all thanks to your warmth and mere presence next to him.

dazai who realises how much you truly matter to him, how he can’t ignore the warm feeling in his chest whenever he sees you, how his body craves for you.

dazai who slowly starts to think that maybe with you he can do this and become the better person who odasaku wished him to be.

the full moon was shining brightly tonight, slightly peeking through the curtains of your shared apartment. the weather is calm, only a soft breeze passing by at times. it’s almost been half a year now since you and dazai went underground and it’s been quiet to say the least. with some help from ango, you were able to find a small temporary apartment in the suburbs, away from the main city.

the first few weeks after agreeing to go with him were rather rough. dazai was uncharacteristically quiet most of the time, his eyes seeming even duller and more distant than usually. it was clear to you how much odasaku’s death had really affected him and you can’t blame him. the best you could do was to tell him it was going to be okay and be there for him in any way needed, a reminder that you’re here to stay.

Another thing you weren’t used to was how clingy he would become.

despite the two of you not being in a relationship, it was almost unreal how touchy you got with each other. Sleeping and basking in each other’s warmth, the lingering touches when the other had to go elsewhere, the small caresses were like a second language for him at this point. and it never made you uncomfortable.

as of now you are finishing watching a film, one that has been sitting in your watchlist for a while now. the ending of it left you a little disappointed but overall it was more than enough to cure your boredom. with a soft sigh, you turn the tv off and place the remote control away.

your gaze drifts down to your chest, a view of familiar brown and soft hair snuggled up to you. he has been practically in the same position for the whole duration you watched the film, a pair of arms securely wrapped around your waist and his head resting against your chest. it's a serene sight.

judging by his steady heartbeat and slow breaths, he seems to be asleep. which is rather rare since the only time he gets actual sleep is late at night if even that. you briefly check your phone and it's barely ten pm. your hand finds itself in his hair, gently brushing through it as you untangle a few knots. it really was beyond your understanding of how soft it is. if you could spend your whole day just caressing his hair you would.

you can’t help but take notice of his features when you brush some of his bangs to the side. he looked absolutely ethereal and it made your heart beat faster without you realising it. you wish he could see himself the way you do. but then again he has said the same thing about you so that’s that. you will never get tired of his peaceful state though, looking as if there is not a single worry on his mind.

more often than you would like to admit, you wonder what you two are. up until running away, you were just close friends with him, friends who got along well. sure there was the typical dazai flirting and petnames here and there but you didn’t think they meant anything further than that. however, overtime you can’t deny the fact you might just have fallen for him.

but now you don’t know. do friends hold each other so intimately? do friends make most of your meals because they know you won’t eat anything else? does a friend look at you so longingly, even if it’s for a split second? and once you ponder about that, you start doubting if he feels the same. what if he doesn’t see you like that? what if he’ll get bored of you eventually? what if—

a small movement from dazai was enough to snap you out of your thoughts. he slightly shifted his position, letting out a faint exhale afterwards.

“‘samu?” you murmur as you stare at him for a little, expecting him to wake up but to your surprise he’s still in his slumber.

there is a certain glint of softness in your eyes before you close them and lightly bury your face into his hair, breathing in the familiar scent of his shampoo. despite your calm breaths, your mind was still running.

“…i love you.” your voice was barely audible. for whatever reason, you felt the need to say it, the very same three words that have plagued your thoughts for a while now. you know he didn’t hear it but at least that’s what made it easier to say. maybe one day you’ll finally let go of all your doubts and fears and confess to him, telling him how much he really means to you.

“you do?”

your heart drops. for a second you wondered if you really heard that or not. there was no way.

“what?” you respond quietly, almost in disbelief. dazai turns his head to get a better look at you as well as move a little closer. his eyes were half open but you can still see the glint of playfulness in them. a faint smirk was on his face. this man… is this supposed to mean that this whole time he was only pretending to be asleep?!

“you love me?” he repeated his question, a bit of teasing evident in his tone. god you wanted to smack that smug smile off his face. perhaps you should have never opened your mouth in the first place.

“ah, i just… i mean…” your words trailed off as your heart started to speed up. suddenly you didn’t know what to say but if he really heard your words earlier then the answer must be obvious. you’re sure you look flustered right now and you can’t even hide it from him since he’s right in front of you.

however, what he did next made your world freeze in time.

without a warning dazai slowly closed the distance and softly touched your lips with his. having you so distracted that you didn’t even notice when he moved his hand to the back your head.

the kiss lasted for about three seconds but it sure felt like an eternity. his lips were much softer than you thought, despite you not having enough time to fully react to the kiss. for a moment you can’t help but question if this was real or another dream you were about to wake up from.

his face still stayed close, his lips slightly parted as his warm breath hit your skin. “i think i love you too y’know..” he mumbled while gently caressing the corner of your jaw. his voice seemed more sincere when he said that.

and just like that all of you anxieties disappeared. you don’t what came over you but what you do know is that you captured his lips with yours once again. only this time you felt the need to go deeper, like you couldn’t get enough of him.

dazai welcomed your initiative warmly, letting out a quiet hum as you kissed him once again. you had no idea kissing someone could feel this good. you swear you can feel him smiling against your lips at some point and it makes your heart skip a beat. your hands wander through his hair, holding him close as your body relaxes.

you guessed all those times he bragged about being a good kisser turned out to be true after all.

when the two of you part to take a moment to breathe, he takes the chance to tease you again. “i’m still waiting for an answer to my question, bella.” he says softly.

yeah, this was definitely real.

thank you so much if you made it this far !<3 literally need to stop rereading this because it gets worse every time i do help

[greyyson-but-no]

good looking

somehow, even when he was dead asleep, arm lolled off the edge of the bed, jess was gorgeous. the moon was shining in through the curtain that neither of you had been bothered to pull shut when you'd gotten into bed that evening. it gave him a light, a shine that cooled in skin in the summer heat, making him almost ethereal.

you couldn't sleep. the rest of the day had been so incredible, you weren't able to stop thinking about it, and as a result, you had watched him fall asleep and been unable to follow suit.

first it had been a trip to one of the many cafes in the centre of new york, breakfast on him, then a day thrifting through record shops and bookstores together, getting together a good selection of both vintage books and vinyls for the both of you. then, surprise tickets to the strokes' one-off show where you spent the evening shouting the lyrics to reptillia and hard to explain with him wrapped around you, occasional kisses pressed against your neck.

the night had ended wonderfully, as assumed.

only now, you couldn't stop thinking about it. because there he was laying, fast asleep and peaceful. not a single worry in his mind at all. earlier in the day, he'd told you this was one of the best days he'd ever had. you knew a lot about his childhood, growing up, his mum, luke, everyone. he struggled.

but he didn't struggle anymore. it was looking like his book was going to be a hit, you both shared an apartment in new york and he was able to go and see luke whenever he needed.

he stirred, grumbling. "i can feel you staring, babe."

"I'm not..." you laughed, moving a hand to thread through his hair, breathing in the hum he let out at the contact.

"liar." jess smiled sleepily, forcing his eyes open.

you pouted, brushing a thumb against his cheek. "but my pants aren't on fire?"

"you aren't wearing any." he grins, peaking a look under the thin duvet, running a hand around your waist and pulling you close, his lips resting against your neck.

humming, you snuggled into him. "and whose fault is that?"

he squeezed your waist. "guilty, what can I say? you certainly enjoyed it, there's no denying that fact, sweetheart."

"i love you."

"love you too, and. thank you."

you spun around to face him, a hand against his jaw as your eyebrows furrowed. "why are you thanking me? you planned it all, I should be thanking you."

he shook his head, looking over your face in detail. "not just for today. for everything. you saved me."

sending him a warm smile was easy. "you saved yourself, jess."

"but you standing by me made it easier." he mumbled, tucking a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. "really, I mean it. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you."

"now I know that's a lie." you laughed under your breath, not quite understanding where this whole conversation was coming from, five minutes ago he was fast asleep and now... "you started the book before you met me, you were a good way through as well."

he paused for a second, breathing in deeply. "i probably would have given up if it weren't for you, you truly saved me."

"honey." you pouted at him.

"hmm, shut up, it's 4 in the morning, of course I'm acting like this, leave me alone." he grumbled, pulling a face at you. "woke me up with your damn staring."

you shrugged, grinning at him. "what can i say? you're good looking."

he laughed lightly, sitting up a little to see you properly. "how long until we have to be up and moving?"

"luke said he'd arrive at around 10."

jess hummed, rolling onto his back and taking your hand in his, staring at the ceiling as he thought. you watched him still, as his eyebrows twitched as the look in his eyes switched between confusion and reassurance. god, he really was gorgous. "so, that means we get up at 10. you know he'll be running late."

"as always." you paused, your face lighting up. "oh! is he bringing lorelai?"

he furrowed his eyebrows. "maybe? i can't remember what the message said now. he probably will."

you smiled, letting your head rest on his chest as his arm wrapped around your shoulder, bringing the two of you as close together as possible again. even with the thin duvet cover, his skin was still warm, and sent that same warmth through to you in the summer nightly chill. "i've still got that jumped I made for her."

"sweetheart, have you ever heard of this brilliant thing called a mail service?" he joked, the corners of his lips lifting.

"wouldn't risk a jumper." you frowned, shaking your head. "especially with the stories i've heard about the stars hollow mail service from everyone."

jess smiled, remembering all his years spent there. all the people met and hated, all the people he met and loved. everyone he ever said hello to and everyone he ever said goodbye to. "you would have really liked stars hollow, i think."

you sat up a little on your elbow, finding his eyes as he looked in detail at the expression on your face. "we could always spend christmas there one year?"

"christmas is a special time there."

"sounds like it would be." you murmur. "right, we've got six hours before we have to be awake. are we going to try and go back to sleep?"

he looked over at you. "you haven't slept yet, so yes. you need the sleep. don't think I haven't noticed how tired you've been these past couple days." he leaves a swift peck on your cheek before turning you over and wrapping an arm around your waist, nose buried into your hair.

"goodnight, my love."

"g'night sweetheart." he mumbled, letting the both of you delve back to sleep. life was pretty good. jess was pretty good (looking).

[paintingwhiteceilings]

❃How EXO acts around their crush❃

a/n: This is 10000% just for my own pleasure. I may have had this in my drafts for weeks... I am totally okay with all the Kyungsoo solo content and EXO ladder dropping. Totally. Super functional, delusional who?

ALSO to any EXO-L that are sharing Chen's LEAKED wedding photos. Please be respectful and either delete them or, at the very least, blur out his wife's face. Chen has gone to great lengths to safeguard her privacy, as she is not famous nor wants to be in the spotlight. Not to mention that there could be crazy sasaengs out there with ill intent. Sharing her info is basically doxing, and it is insane to me how many people shared these posts without much thought. Anyway, I needed to share my frustrations.

Xiumin/Minseok:

✾ He is a lot shyer than the other members; where most of EXO probably feels comfortable enough to act on their crushes, he is a bit more reserved. He wants to test the waters first, ascertaining whether the feeling is mutual. Whenever you are around and are talking to other people, he sits back silently, observing your reactions.

✾ Xiumin is smiling so widely around you that the other members worry that his muscles might start cramping up soon. The moment he sees you, his bubbly personality starts to really shine through, and sometimes you can't help but wonder whether this man truly is 33.

✾ That being said, from the moment that anyone offers Xiumin a couple of drinks, his confidence spikes, and he will start flirting with you. His flirting is still extremely sweet and cute; Xiumin can be incredibly charming when he wants to be.

Suho/Junmyeon

✾ He is such a gentleman around you, trying to make you feel at ease with his kind gestures. Whether it is him pulling back a chair or opening a door for you, he will do anything to make you feel like a princess.

✾ Being one of EXO's proud black card owners, he will casually buy you whatever you need. He keeps repeating that he wants to treat his friends when you try to interject. You can't completely refute it; he does spend a lot of money on the members. Yet, you can't help but feel like his gifts are slightly too expensive and excessive for 'just friends'.

✾ So. Many. Soft. Glances. Suho looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars; you catch him staring at you almost every time you look over. Conversations with him can, therefore, be a tad awkward. He doesn't always register what you are saying; he is so absorbed in watching you that he forgets to listen.

✾ The other members relentlessly tease him for it. If you don't catch on based on Suho's actions, you will definitely catch on due to his members' relentless teasing. Whenever he does anything remotely romantic around you, their faces light up like Christmas came early. The members are not subtle about it whatsoever, thoroughly enjoying putting their leader in a slightly uncomfortable position.

Baekhyun:

✾ The members didn't think it was possible, but Baekhyun somehow became louder. It is as if he wants to draw your attention simply by screaming, as he no longer has any volume control when you are around. Everyone can hear your conversation from across the room, and his laughter becomes borderline obnoxious as it overpowers any other sound.

✾ He is such a tease and a suggestive one at that. Considering he has no problem revealing intimate, not suitable to be aired on national TV, details about the members' bodies, he won't have any trouble suggestively flirting with you. Where Xiumin's pick-up lines are cute, Baekhyun's are far from it. Give this man some holy water, Jesus.

✾ He is so intense with his flirting that it sometimes crosses the line of sexy to parody, coming off as a joke. Baekyhyun has a very flirty personality and isn't above flirting with his friends. Even though he isn't subtle about his crush, he can accidentally fall into the "he flirts with everyone" category, making you question whether he genuinely likes you or is just being friendly.

✾ He really enjoys the chase when it comes to relationships. Thus, it will take him quite some time before he asks you out, simply because he likes the push-and-pull game.

Chanyeol

✾ There is nothing subtle about Mr. Park Chanyeol. The moment he sees someone he wants to date, he is going for it full steam ahead. Puppy Chanyeol is momentarily retired as he makes his way over to you; Chanyeol knows that he is handsome and sexy, and he is ready to show it to you. I hope you weren't interested in anyone else because the moment you return any of his interest, he will be flirting with you like there is no tomorrow.

✾ Internally, he is so excited to be talking to you, and sometimes, you will see glimpses of his cute puppy-like persona, especially once he feels like you are just as interested. Still, the words coming out of this man's mouth, Jesus part two. Please go and ask Baekyhun to pass the holy water.

✾ That being said, he will get embarrassed when the other members are around or slightly bashful when you return his flirting at full force. I don't think Chanyeol is used to anyone sharing his level of intensity, so once you do, he gets a bit flustered. He absolutely loves it, though. Your compliments got him grinning from ear to ear.

D.O./Kyungsoo

✾ Don't get me wrong, I adore this man to a delusional extent, but he is absolutely hopeless when it comes to communicating with his crush. He won't go anywhere near you if he can't help it; he prefers looking at you from afar. He is someone who favours being approached first over approaching you himself. It isn't that he doesn't want to talk to you; he simply isn't the type of person to initiate contact with his crush and tends to stay back when he can tell that someone else is interested, too. 

✾ Even if he finds himself near you, don't expect him to have a full-blown conversation with you. He already tends to be a man of little words, but when it comes to you, he is a man of not a single word. Being around you is enough to make him happy; he doesn't really need to have a deep conversation. 

✾ Nevertheless, his actions make more than up for it. He is such a gentleman, being the definition of preferential treatment. You don't have a chair to sit on? He will quietly offer you his. Your sweater got caught on something? He will silently help you get it out. Although he may not say much to you, he communicates his feelings through his actions. 

Kai/Jongin

✾ If you think Xiumin or Kyungsoo are shy, you have not yet met Kai with a crush. He turns into absolute mush the moment he sees you, giggling and blushing whenever you do as much as breathing. You can't even see him because he has resorted to hiding behind the other members, preferably Sehun or Chanyeol, as they are tall enough to obscure him completely.

✾ If he somehow musters up the courage to talk to you, good luck having it go anywhere because he can barely make it through a sentence without giggling. It is obvious to everyone around him that he is smitten with you; his laughs are awkwardly loud, and his eyes are literally shooting hearts.

✾ The moment he manages to ask you to dance, his shy demeanour completely changes. His movement… His expressions… The way he is smirking at you… Maybe you should go and ask Chanyeol whether there is anything left of the holy water he borrowed from Baekyhun.

Sehun

✾ He has one of two ways of acting around his crush: either he acts super bratty or becomes painfully shy. It depends on whether he has met and talked to you before. But, if you are complete strangers, he would be so quiet, hiding in the furthest corner he can find.

✾ He will pester the members to go over and collect as much information as they can about you. They will do it because he will whine the entire night about it if they don't and, repeat with me, what Sehun wants, Sehun gets. The members try to convince Sehun to go talk to you himself, but Sehun stubbornly refuses. Bro will be playing the Maknae card harder than he ever has in his entire life.

✾ In the end, he will drag Suho with him, trying to 'casually' strike up a conversation with you. The small talk is painful, and in all honesty, Suho, with his dad jokes, isn't helping in the slightest. At the very least, it provides the two of you with a new conversational topic: the teasing of Suho.

masterlist

[starryeyedjanai]

counting the days till i'm coming home

steddie | explicit | read on ao3 chapter 1 | chapter 2

Eddie gets up properly after laying there for a little while, thoughts still firmly placed on Steve.

He doesn't know what it is about him—he’s only met him once, and briefly. But he can't get him off his mind.

He thinks about going back to the lake, but feels like that’d be weird and a little desperate—jerking off thinking about him is one thing, but showing up day after day hoping to get a glimpse of him feels pathetic.

He did say he’d be at the lake a lot this summer, but Eddie still doesn't end up going back to the lake for another two weeks.

He and his band practice in the meantime, with little else to do in Hawkins over the summer. There’s supposed to be a new mall being built, but it’s not opening until next year, so they’re all stuck doing the same shit they always do during the summer—going to band practice, going to Skull Rock to smoke if they don't want to cram into Eddie’s living room, hanging out at Gareth’s house to watch movies.

It’s all the same shit and Eddie can feel himself sinking and drowning in the mundanity of it. Nothing ever changes around here.

Maybe that’s why he goes back to the lake.

Maybe it’s because he’s dreamed of Steve every night since meeting him, that same cryptic I’ll find you repeating over and over and over until Eddie can't take it anymore.

So he finds himself at the edge of the lake again, in his swim trunks and a loose shirt, hoping to see Steve again.

It’s right after dusk, the sun just having set, so he doesn't know what he expects, if he expects Steve to still be here if he came here at all today.

But being out in the open during the day felt scarier than this, he thinks, as he lifts his shirt over his head and places it on the ground beside him.

There’s no one here—he can't hear the sound of anyone in the water, and he can barely see anything at all, the moon hidden by the clouds right now.

But Steve said he’d find him.

And somehow Eddie believes it.

Something deep inside him believes that if he dives into the water, Steve will hear it and come looking for him.

So he does.

The water is cold as he dives headfirst into the water. When he comes up, the sound of the water sloshing is loud in his ears, almost as loud as the blood rushing past his ears as he remembers the whispers about a lake monster.

Some part of him always believed it, even though he’s never seen it, even though it’s impossible. So his heart beating this fast betrays his nerves about it somehow being true.

But Steve was here, and Eddie’s assuming he didn't get gobbled up by a monster.

Now that he’s in the lake though, he doesn't know what to do.

He treads water for a minute before swimming further out. He’s never been the most confident swimmer, though he did start taking swimming lessons at his old middle school because they were mandatory, but he moved out here to live with his uncle in the middle of the school year, so his lessons were incomplete.

And here in Hawkins, there aren't really many places to swim with a supposedly monster filled lake being one of the only bodies of water around.

But he can tread water and keep himself above the surface so that’s all that matters, he supposes.

He stops in the center of the lake and wonders what the hell he’s doing.

Did he really think Steve would hear a splash in the water from whichever one of these houses is his parent’s lake house and come join him? Did he really think he’d lose his virginity tonight, out here in the water with no protection like an idiot?

He really didn't think this through.

And with the temperature dropping and no sun shining on him to keep him warm, goosebumps prickle across his skin as he treads water in the center of the lake.

This was such a stupid idea.

He starts back for the docks and gets about halfway before something wraps around his ankle and calf and yanks him under the surface of the water.

His scream is muffled by the water, but whatever’s grabbing him lets go and he surfaces, breathing heavy and whipping around to find the culprit.

Steve's head pops up in front of him and Eddie blows out a harsh breath before wading closer and smacking him on the shoulder.

“You asshole!” he says, his voice more shaky than he’d like to admit. He must have had both hands around his leg because it felt like something was snaking up his leg. His thoughts of the lake monster must have really spooked him.

“Sorry,” Steve says, but his smile says otherwise. “You were leaving and I didn't want you to go.”

“So you thought you’d pull me under the water like a maniac? Where did you even come from?” he asks, trying to get his heart hate under control.

Steve shrugs and says, “I told you I’m always here.”

Something niggles in the back of his mind, the same way it did when Steve said he’d find Eddie if he ever came into the water. The goosebumps return to his skin as the words wash over him.

“When you say you’re always here,” Eddie says in a slow voice, but he can't get any more words out because he realizes how stupid he sounds.

There’s no way.

Steve is so close now, and Eddie can see the way the moonlight reflects off his skin. There’s something eerie about it, the way it glitters almost.

Eddie wades backward, putting more space between them, trying to aim for casual as he kicks his feet, knowing Steve could out-swim him no contest.

“You told me about a monster in the lake,” Steve says and Eddie nods, captivated by the lull of Steve's voice.

“And you said nothing had ever happened when you were in the water,” Eddie says, his heart in his throat.

There’s no fucking way.

The smile on Steve's face feels wicked almost. Eddie's hands clench into fists under the water.

“I told you nothing happened to me,” Steve clarifies, wading closer again, until only a foot of distance is between them.

Eddie's eyes close as he lets out a shaky breath.

When he opens them, Steve hasn't moved any closer.

Eddie realizes he’s shaking.

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” Steve says, and the sound Eddie lets out is close to a sob.

“I don't know if I believe you,” Eddie says, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that somehow, inexplicably, the boy before him is a monster. Does he shapeshift into something else? Is he some kind of a humanoid that drags people under the lake and eats them? Every thought running through his head leads to him dying cold and alone save for the monster before him.

But the expression on Steve's face turns sad, his mouth turning down as he looks at Eddie.

Steve wades further back again, faster than humanly possible, putting distance between them. “I didn't mean to scare you,” he says and Eddie can barely hear it over the ripples of the water. “You can go if you want. I like you and I don't want you to be scared of me.”

Eddie doesn't know if this is part of his game—if he wants to chase Eddie before he kills him.

But he keeps his eyes on Steve as he wades backwards, closer to Rick’s dock where he jumped into the lake.

He doesn't come any closer, watching him with sad eyes as he pulls himself up awkwardly onto the dock, backwards so he doesn't have to look away.

He’s shivering as he pulls on his shirt, as he watches Steve watch him.

He only takes his eyes off him when he’s stumbling back onto the grass behind Rick’s house. He beelines it for his van and speeds the entire way home, putting more and more distance between him and Steve.

He feels every mile stretching between them.

His heart rate only goes down when he’s in his bed, after he’s showered and washed off all remnants of the lake off him.

His hair is wet against his pillow as he lays there and thinks about what just happened.

He doesn't know if Steve was just fucking with him, is the thing.

He could just be some guy who’s here for the summer and decided to have some fun at Eddie's expense.

Or—

He could be the lake monster everyone talks about.

He never told Steve that the monster supposedly pulls people under the water—they barely spoke at all when they first met.

But that’s exactly what Steve did—wrapped his hands around Eddie's leg and pulled him under the water.

He could have asked someone, he supposes.

But nothing about that felt fake.

And was it his hands? It didn’t feel like it in the moment.

The way the moonlight hit his skin felt wrong, the way he moved through the water felt wrong, whatever wrapped around his leg felt wrong.

The skin of his ankle and calf feels tender and hot now, as he lays there still shivering a little from the encounter.

When he falls asleep, much too late into the night, he dreams about Steve again.

[muzansfangs]

Muzan with werewolf! reader while they're in that form sounds interesting-

Howling at the moon.

Starring: Muzan Kibutsuji x f!reader (werewolf reader)

Format: one-shot;

Warnings: nsfw, language, horror vibes, blood and graphic depictions of violence, body horror, gore, parents rejection, solitude, eating humans, werewolf!reader, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, possessive Muzan, dom!muzan, sub!reader, oral sex (Muzan!receiving), monster!fucking, reader has a tail, pointy canines, claws and wolf ears during the act, creampie, bitemarks;

Plot: since you two had met, a spiral of violence and lust had enveloped you. You were two monsters, you were both ‘cursed’ somehow. In a world where you were considered villains, you indulged into his bed every time there was a full moon to lead you to him. He saw beauty in you, you found a life-companion in him and it was enough to prove that monsters had hearts too.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

A full moon was shining brightly up above you, dimly illuminating your path. Not that you needed something to enlighten the road anyway, or a torch that could have granted you the chance to detect any dangers laying in the dark and waiting for you. The night around your village only meant one thing: blood running down the streets, demons lurking in the shadows to feed on poor, innocent men and women. Sometimes, on children too. Screams, agony and fear always flinged in the air when the night veiled the world with its dark cape. Every morning, when a dismembered body was found by the river, people screamed around terrorized.

You did not, though.

Passing by the crime scene, you merely glanced at the victim of the hour, sniffing the air subtly as to intercept either your scent, or a demon’s one on the rotten flesh. You always had no memory of what you did, when the beast inside you awakened.

You did not even know when it started, or how it happened. All you knew was that you were a toddler, the first time you acknowledged something was clearly wrong with you. The moon seemed to allure you during the nights, a primordial rage devouring you from the inside when the satellite sparkled up in the dark nightsky. You were a teenager stumbling back home, the dawn tinted the clouds in orange and red stripes, when you realized you were partially an animal. Blood dripped from your hands, your mind fuzzy, your ears furry and pointy and you clawed at the wooden door of your house.

Something was definitely wrong with you.

As the years passed by, you finally realized what you were. It ran in your family, apparently. The same family that had abandoned you in horror the first time you had confessed them you had not been able to stop yourself from murdering a man. You felt bad, when they left. Spending days self-deprecating because you had inherited a gene nor your mother, neither your father had, was your first and natural reaction.

From that day on, you howled at the sky, whispering your pain to the stars, while climbing on a cliff during the full moon nights. No one understood you and you started to come to terms with the fact that, even though you had accepted yourself, rejection was always going to haunt you. Who would ever love a monster, after all? If your own flesh and blood had pushed you away, how could you be loved by anyone else?

But life can change and the tables turn. It was a midsummer night, you were running through the woods wild and free, when you bumped into him. He was standing in the darkness, his plum red eyes boring into yours for a split second, as you instantly growled at him. He was not a human and surely not a member of your species. His pale visage almost made you question if he was even alive in the first place, but it was when he spoke that you spotted a pair of pearly fangs protruding from his gums. A demon, he was a demon.

“So they were right. There is indeed a werewolf roaming this forest…” the dark-haired dapper man said, staring you down in curiosity, as you retreated in the shadows to transform back in a more humanoid form. You were glad you had left a kimono in a nearby bush, just in case you had to turn back into a human while you were out into the wild.

However, you did not expect to come face to face with a demon that could do something more than roaring and hissing. He had to be a member of the Kizuki. The most important question now was if he was a threat to you.

“I’m glad to hear you know what I am. I assume you therefore are aware that werewolves are territorial. You have crossed the line and I am not particularly friendly, pal. I suggest you to leave” you replied, glancing at him as you made sure to have covered your naked body properly.

The demon did not seem fazed by your harsh words and bitter tone of voice. Maybe, he had been around for so long he had grown used to people throwing insults at him. Not that you cared, naturally.

“You are less scary than a nichirin blade is to a lower rank. — he flatly said, narrowing his eyes at you the moment your frame finally emerged from the darkness, the moon setting off your features with every step you took — I’m merely interested in studying your species. What’s your name, wolf-girl?” he asked you, quirking a dark eyebrow up.

He was bold, handsome, straightforward but, mostly, not scared of you. It was weird meeting someone’s gaze and finding out they were not disgusted by your very being, by your inner savage nature. Your presence did not offend him.

“My name’s Y/N. Who are you? I’m pretty sure you’re a member of the Twelve Kizuki” you retorted, crossing your arms against your chest, eyes travelling down his body as you studied his attire. He was a wealthy man, undoubtedly. Western clothes were expensive and the fabric embracing his fit body were surely the finest you had ever seen in your whole life.

The Demon King sighed, his lips curving into a grin as your eyes flashed yellow the moment he revealed his identity. If he could accept you, maybe, you had found your place in the world too. Your existence was not vain, you were not an abomination. That is why, two words, his name, changed your whole life.

“Muzan Kibutsuji”.

Now, as your bare feet touch the soft grass underneath you, the comforting sound of the dead leaves crunching with each step you took, you see yourself in a new light. He had made you realize that each being had the right to walk this Earth. Perhaps, not everyone would have accepted you, but you existed. You existed and he liked you.

Your first encounters were nothing more than you showing your abilities, your hunting style and the control you had over yourself. Muzan seemed genuinely interested in you, a different kind of monster. Your beauty, further more, enticed him. Sometimes, you tried to hide your fangs and ears, when you were merely talking, but he kindly chided you pointing out how you should have never hidden your true nature before him. He had allowed you to enter his Fortress, even though it was just to study your blood and system, at first.

But your relationship gradually changed. It was the way his predatory eyes soaked in your features, or the small gifts he gave you without a particular reasons, or perhaps your attraction was purely based on his gentle mannerism. You were not used to be accepted, let alone being the object of such courtesies and benevolence.

All you knew was that one minute you were watching hik scribble something down his notebook, admiring his elegant calligraphy, and the next you were struggling to breath, knelt between his legs, your lips around his shaft as you assiduously tried to please him.

It soon became an habit, a strange addiction.

The best part of it was that you could entirely be yourself with him. He loved your soft and grey ears poking from your hair. He admired them as you rode him, half-lidded eyes gazing at them as he absent-mindedly swept a thumb against your lips. You were perfect for him. He did not mind the way you ended up growling ferally, as he left bitemarks down your collarbone. He liked to watch you thrive to take the lead, almost eager to please him.

But now it was different.

As you finally found yourself in front of him, in his bedroom, safe from prying eyes, he shot you a demanding look that left nothing to imagination. His command was simple, his red eyes darting from you to the bed as his lips moved to strip you of the last shreds of morals left in you.

“On all fours” he sternly said, making shivers run down your spine.

It was weird to follow a new leader, when you had been your own master of the sea for years. You were your own alpha, you had never bent your knees to anyone before. Yet, you sensed he was different. He could easily make your knees buckle, break your spirit and crawl on the floor like a worm.

Your hands hastily undid your obi, your silky red kimono, another expensive gift from him, pooled at your feet as you stepped out of it and you presented your body to the Demon Lord.

Muzan seemed pleased by the sight of your naked formed, gloriously inviting him to take action, to mark as he loved to do. As you watched him fumble with the buttons of his white shirt, you let yourself go. Climbing on the bed, back arching as you settled your cheek against the puffy pillow of his bed, your wolfish characteristics kicked in. Your ears poked out, eyes glistening in a yellowish pigmentation typical of those animals and your tail wiggled in anticipation of what was yet to come.

“You know, that’s when I like you the most, when your free and comfortable with yourself. — Muzan praised you, the sound of his belt clinking as he unbuckled it, making you sink your canines onto your bottom lip — Howl for me. Let everybody know who is your new moon, the center of your gravity” he crooned then, as his fingers glided down your wet folds.

You sighed, eyes fluttering close as his fingere delved into you, deftly stretching you out for what was yet to come. Your legs quivered, soft noises left your lips as he thrusted his forefinger and middle digit into you at a steady pace. Breaking you was an art. He could have listened to your whimpers and moans for hours, never getting tired of the power he had over you. He would have never admitted it, never, but you were most likely the only thing that made him enjoy the nights.

The dreadful nights he hated for not being able to enjoy the sun.

“I bet you’re beutiful even in the sunlight. I’d give anything to see you run in a field of spiderlilies, while the your hair and skin are bathed by the warm light…” he ranted, taking you off guard as he witherdrew his fingers suddenly, before you could reach your climax.

You whined in contempt for the action, but his words were now stuck in your head, leaving you in a daze.

“I can love you under the moonlight. I can’t love in the sunlight, I can’t be myself when the sun shines. You are not there with me” you panted out, earning a bite onto the crook of your neck.

You mewled, blood running down your shouldersblades and breasts, staining the bedsheets underneath you as Muzan gripped your hips and slowly eased into you. He grunted, his tongue lapping at your wound as he bottomed out into you. Your eyes rolled back into your skull, mouth hanging open, while your inner walls squeezed him deliciously.

“Muzan—” you whimpered, his hips starting to move back and forth as he conquered you again, for the umpteenth time.

“Shut up. Shut up and let me possess you” he hoarsely whispered in your ear, his bloodied lips kissing the shell of your ear.

Moans, groans and the sinful sound of skin smacking against skin guided you to madness. Lust and hunger engulfed you two, when he increased the speed of his thrusts. When he finally came to a stop, Muzan pushed your head down by the back of your neck. His last thrust coming along a feral groan, his semen pouring into you, as he stilled and left one last kiss on your nape.

He pulled out slowly, after a few seconds, your eyes shut as you felt his essence ooze out of you. Your stomach was laying flatly onto the mattress, your eyes droopy as he ran one hand down your smooth back.

“Stay. Just for tonight, or for the rest of your life” he breathed out then and you could swear that something in your heart cracked for you were not alone anymore.

Not with him. Not with Muzan.

AUTHOR NOTE.

Hello there! This was an old request I never found a lot of inspiration to write for, but it’s october and the spooky season is officially here… Along with the kinky nature of the month. Therefore, I am glad to have fulfilled this small request, a little experimental too for me. I hope you guys can enjoy it and, since it’s a Muzan centered one, I think it is a good way to show why my username contains his name 😋❤️. Likes, comments and re-posts are always appreciated!

Until next,

x o x o

TAGS: @doumadono @mrskokushibo @yazzzmints I DID IT. I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, LMFAO

[writerfae]

Wow, I wrote something. And it’s even canon!

Well, of course it won’t be in the story word for word, but it’s a scene that somehow like this will be included. Yay!

Takes place after Aiden got freed from the Knights.

The night was full of stars and the surface of the starlight lake, too, was littered with the sparkling reflections of the same bright lights that decorated the dark sky.

Aiden sighed as he lowered himself deeper into the water, the cool sensation a boon for his heated skin.

It felt good to wash off the dirt from the last couple days. And to get a few minutes of quiet to clear his head.

He had always hated to be alone, but after the last few hours he almost found himself missing it.

His head was brimming with all the informations he was confronted with, with thoughts of his mother, his brother, of the insanity he found himself in.

Never would he have expected such a mess when he followed Halea into the other realm to find Henry.

Find him he did, but he also found so much more. It was almost too much to handle.

Aiden wanted to run. He genuinely planned to do so, to leave everything behind and go home to hide from the truth he learned.

And then the Knights had captured him and everything changed yet again.

With what he knew now, he couldn’t possibly leave. He had to warn Henry. To help him and the others.

He lifted his hand and let the water slip through his fingers. The water made his skin sparkle just like the stars above.

Whether he liked it or not, he was now right in the middle of this whole disaster and he had his part to fulfill. People were relying on him to help and stop Morena.

Only he could do it. After all, the sword had chosen him. After all, it was in his blood.

He stared at his fingers, at the starlight on his skin, then he clenched his hand into a fist.

Yes, he would stop this. He’ll warn Henry, stop the madness and when all of this was done, the two of them could talk.

When they survived, whispered a voice in his head, but Aiden decided to ignore it.

He wasn’t alone anymore. He stood a chance. They stood a chance. If only they worked together.

“Aiden,” a voice called to him. As he looked over his shoulder, he could see Talon standing at the lake side.

Moonlight caught itself in his light hair and made it shine almost like a saint’s halo, which was an irony Aiden didn’t miss out on.

He slowly rose from the water, making his way over to the other boy.

When the water barely reached his navel, he stopped, suddenly realizing that he was very much naked underneath the water surface.

Not that Talon would have noticed it if Aiden had broken the rules of modesty, since he still refused to look at him.

Aiden wondered when he’ll ever have the courage to meet him eye to eye.

“You should come,” Talon said, eyes lowered, his voice barely loud enough so Aiden could hear.

“Get some rest before we make our way back to court. Nyx says we are safe here, but we should make sure to leave before sunrise if we want to be there before them.”

Aiden nodded. “I will. Give me a second to uh…” he looked down at himself. “get dressed.”

Talon didn’t say anything to that. He just nodded quickly, before turning around a bit too fast and making his way back to the bonfire.

Did Aiden only imagine it, or did the fae’s ears seem a little red in the light of the moon?

He shook that thought off and made his way to the water’s edge to gather his clothes.

Talon was right, he’d need some rest. They had a long day ahead.

*

tag list: @andifthestarsweretodie @bloodlessheirbyjacques @bluehourskyeli @deadlycupid @dustylovelyrun @justafrogandherumbrella @ladywithalamp @magic-is-something-we-create @myhusbandsasemni @my-cursed-prince @phantasticdomains @rhikasa @sleepy-night-child @soupopoireau @theguywithnonickname @vampywriter @vsnotresponding @writing-is-a-martial-art (if you want to be added or removed from the tag list let me know!)

[jeonstellate]

in the dark: dusk

you ask the moon for an impossible before your inevitable marriage to an utter stranger.

๑彡 hong jisoo x afab!reader

๑彡 strangers-to-lovers!au, arranged marriage!au — angst(?), fluff

๑彡 paragraph format — 1.8K words

masterlist | in the dark: dawn

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

๑彡 title is taken from bobby’s in the dark.

๑彡 this is the first half of the two-shot, in the dark. you can find the link to the next part above :]

You had always known your marriage would be arranged by your parents. In a time where marriages were used as a form alliance between clans rather than a form of union between lovers, you never dared to hope that your marriage would be bound by love.

However, that particular knowledge didn’t prevent you from craving to experience how genuine romantic love feels like.

Hence your decision to sit by a tree just behind your village long after the sun had set. You weren’t waiting for a miracle, but you’d be lying if you say you weren’t hoping for one.

Under the pale moonlight, the cloak of darkness concealed the tears that the sun could not shine upon. Under the pale moonlight, you wordlessly wish for something that can never be.

But never did you expect for the moon to answer.

"May I know the reason for your tears, my lady?" A voice, soft and careful, suddenly filled the silence of the night. Although its appearance was unexpected, it miraculously didn’t startle you — as though, somehow, you had known.

You kept facing the moon as you answer, almost as if you were conversing with her rather than whoever just arrived. "Just trivial matters."

"Perhaps so, but you obviously care about it a great deal." The presence behind you felt closer, but still remained at a respectable distance.

"But I shouldn’t," you sighed. "There are dangers in dwelling on matters that are out of my control."

"But there are also dangers in bottling your feelings in, my lady," the person gently reminded you.

Silence then engulfed the two of you — which felt comfortable despite not knowing who exactly you were conversing with. The voiced words settled between the two of you, gradually creating something that could either build or destroy any relation that might form.

"I don’t know if I should trust you with my thoughts," you thoughtfully said after a while. "I don’t know who you are."

Your companion hummed in acknowledgment, "You can think of me as a shadow, if you wish."

"Why so?"

"You cannot confirm my existence until you look at me."

You started laughing. "I can very well just turn and confirm it promptly, my lord."

"Respectfully, my lady, but I advice against it," he replied almost immediately. "Please take comfort in knowing I am a stranger that cannot judge you based on anything you do not personally share — as I will with you."

You thought his advice through. Although you were concerned about revealing too much to an utter stranger, you couldn’t deny that he had a point. You live in a small village, after all — one way or another, everyone always hear about one family’s business and discuss them freely like it’s their own.

Every family in your village has their own reputation — which ultimately decides the esteem people regard each family with. If he doesn’t know how you look like, nor what your name is, then he can’t judge you based on the reputation of your family — nor can you have the fear of tainting your family’s reputation with each information you choose to disclose.

"Perhaps you are right," you agreed after a few moments of silence. "Though I do think you should just address me as Night from here on forward."

"Wonderful. Then, you can call me Suho."

You and Suho continued conversing the night away. Although he eventually chose to situate himself near you (after asking for consent), neither of you faced each other. You remained facing the sky, with your left arm millimeters away from the tree trunk and your back facing your village. Him, on the other hand, had his back against the tree trunk, his body facing your village, with his left arm inches away from yours.

"So what brings you in the dark like this?" Suho started the conversation after having enough of the silence.

"I wanted to make a wish to the moon," you replied eventually after pondering upon how you should indulge his inquiry.

"You must’ve wished so earnestly that tears spilled down your cheeks."

His comment earned an almost soundless chuckle from you. "On the contrary," you started, "those were desperate tears from wishing the impossible."

"I’m afraid I don’t follow, my lady," you heard him shift his position, but the sound of his voice remained in the same distance.

"My parents have found me someone to marry," you said slowly as you thought about whether or not saying so would give away your identity, "but I wanted to experience having a lover first before I’m bounded to someone I have yet to meet."

Suho, in contrast to your obvious hesitancy, was quick to react. "I can be your lover, my lady, if you will allow me."

"I beg your pardon?" You stuttered in disbelief. "You shouldn’t utter words you don’t mean, my lord."

"I do mean them," he quickly insisted.

"How can you?" You expressed your doubt, "Surely there must already be a lady waiting for you back home?"

"I assure you, my lady, you shall be my only one."

You couldn’t reply right away — not because you were thinking his reply over, but because his response made you flustered. "Then, I suppose you would not mind courting me?"

Just like he had been doing throughout the night, Suho’s response came almost immediately. "I would court you as long as you wish."

You and Suho continued to meet with the moon being your only witness. During those nights, you would converse about anything your hearts desired. Slowly, but surely, then, you both learned parts of what composed each other’s constellations.

True to his word, Suho did court you every night that you met. He would alternate between telling you compliments, giving you flowers, writing you some poetry, or a combination of acts.

In return, to show your appreciation, you reciprocated his efforts in ways you knew how.

"Yes," you agreed out of the blue on the night of a full moon.

"Pardon?"

"Yes," you repeated, "I am now accepting you as my beau."

You and Suho had an agreement, beginning that first night when your peculiar arrangement was made. You both agreed, under no circumstances, would you try to catch a glimpse of each other’s faces. Thus, whenever you two met, you both ensured that you two were positioned in such a way that no one wouldn’t see the other’s face.

And somehow, you two still found a way to bask in each other’s warmth without breaking your agreement. "Thank you," you heard him murmur by your ear. "Thank you for trusting me."

You shook your head in denial, a smile ghosting your lips. "Thank you for coming into my life."

The word ‘bliss’ wouldn’t be enough to describe how you felt the following nights. Suho had always been sweet, but he became even sweeter after he became your beau.

Like he had already done, Suho had brought you flowers, written you poetry, and showered you with words of affirmation. On top of all of those, he occasionally brought you handmade gifts as well.

Despite already being your significant other, Suho still went out of his way to court you — even after you told him that he could stop. He claimed that it made him happy, as it never failed to make you happy, so you just let him do what he pleased.

"Have you ever thought about children?" You asked Suho one night as you lie on his chest, facing the moon.

Even with your improved status, you and Suho came to a consensus that you should uphold your previous agreement of keeping your true identities a secret from one another. Especially with your deepening relationship, it was crucial not to display any awkwardness nor unusual behavior if ever you two meet under the sun — to keep the eagle-eyed gossipers of your village from talking.

"Well, I am now," he answered before resting his hand on your hip, by your stomach. "Why?"

You two often talked about whatever came to mind, especially if you had finished filling each other about any shareable events that happened during the day. Albeit you both had nothing against silence, you liked to spend your limited time getting to know each other instead.

"As I look into the sky, I suddenly remembered how I took inspiration from it when I was unentertained enough to think of baby names."

You heard Suho let out an intrigued sound, "Let’s hear them, then."

"Hyewol for a girl, Hyeseong for a boy," you answered nonchalantly. "I also thought Chaewol, Seonghwa, and Haneul could be good to use as well."

Suho started murmuring to himself. Despite your proximity, you still couldn’t quite catch the entirety of what he was saying. However, you could’ve sworn that you heard the names you just mentioned being mixed in.

"What are you—?"

"Just testing how the names sound with my last name," he replied as nonchalant as you were then. However, with such simple words, you couldn’t help but to feel your cheeks flush. "So, five kids?"

"I," you stopped, suddenly not trusting yourself to speak. Nevertheless, after a moment, you managed to collect yourself. "Only if it’s with you."

You both knew, with your looming engagement, that that was a future out of your reach. It was a someday that could only exist under the cloak of the moon’s light, never to be touched by the sun’s rays.

And yet, despite that, you and Suho still dared to dream.

You knew this day would come, even before you crossed paths with Suho. In retrospect, this day was literally the reason why you met Suho in the first place. Had you not been crying that pivotal night about this particular day, you probably wouldn’t have him by your side at all.

Unfortunately, even your set up with Suho did nothing for the dreaded day.

"[First name], dear, come here for a minute," your mother called you over from your little corner with your cousins.

Today was her birthday and, to celebrate, she held a banquet in her honor — only inviting those that she truly got along with to keep the event drama-free. Not even her side of the family was in complete attendance, as some — if not most — of them clashed with one another over trivial matters.

It was your mother’s day, so you never thought it would double as the day you finally met your fiancé.

"[First name], this is Joshua," you mother started with an abnormally large smile etched on her face, "your fiancé."

You tried not to visibly freeze. As much as Suho was supposed to assist you to get ready for your married life, you weren’t ready to meet the person you were expected to spend the rest of your life with. Especially not when you already began wishing that your husband-to-be was Suho instead.

Joshua reached for your hand and kissed the back. "It’s my pleasure to be your acquaintance, my lady. I am Joshua Hong."

[braineater444]

“To Be Better”

Big Brother!Yoshida x Gender Neutral Reader

(Tw: Sexual Abuse, Rape, Incest, Mild Smut, Mental Health, Suicidal Ideation)

A/N: I told myself I would finish this today and I did against my better judgment. This is not fully proofread and a bit different in comparison to other things I’ve written. Not heavy on the smut but definitely heavy. Idk. This isn’t good. Goodnight <3

Your older brother Yoshida is the brightest star to ever shine in your family. He got into all of the top universities (and every school he applied to for that matter) he’s smart, he’s attractive and everyone loves him to pieces, even those he’s only said one word to. He’s that type of guy. Too charismatic for his own good. A revolving door of people interested in being with him. Not a single flaw on his pretty skin.

Then, there’s you. You’re born second, but that doesn’t make you any where near close to second to him. Somehow, even with there being only two of you, you fall further down. You’re not placing in a race with him. You graduated two years after him, but no one from your extended family showed up like they did for him. You had a few friends, but were otherwise known as Hirofumi’s younger sibling. Your existence felt like an inconsequential blip when you were so eclipsed by him in every aspect of anything you did. He is the sun, but to say you’re the moon would be a lie.

So, it felt nice to graduate. To leave the school where every one knew you as a his shadow and the comparisons never ended. It felt nice to go to a community college where no one knew you and forge your own identity.

Even with him out of the house two years before, you still weren’t as free from him as you have been recently. You’re healing as of late. His winter break visit has come and gone and you’re getting better. This summer will be better. There’s just you and sure, you still live with your parents who always compared you to him, but now your lives have almost completely diverged. They have to, after all the work you’ve put in to getting better about being his shadow.

Of course, it’s not as simple as him having disappeared at university forver, though. It cant be your happily ever after. He comes home over his breaks and this one is no different.

The summer air is hot. It’s unpleasant and almost inescapable. There’s three popsicle sticks on your desk and the ceiling fan of your room is going as fast as it can go. It’s working desperately to cool you down with its gentle whirring, but still, you’re sticky with a light cast of sweat as you lay silently on your bed in wait.

You know he’s here. His voice flows proudly all through the house as he greets your parents and asks where you are and why you haven’t come to see him. You can hear him padding down the hall. Your brother has a distinct walk. It’s heavy and light all at once, like he’s waltzing his way to your door. A distinct feeling of dread punctuates each and every step.

As the door to your room swings open, you’re greeted by that same gut punch of a smile that you hadn’t been unfortunate enough to see since winter. This time it’ll be longer. The summer is too long.

“What?” It’s not really a question. Just something to make him go away.

“What?” He repeats back to you. “You’re not excited to see me?” Hirofumi… his voice is like silk; like he’s got it all figured out. It’s no wonder he’s got everyone fooled.

…

Usually it’s the summer heat that keeps you up all night, but tonight it’s him. You can’t see him, but you know he’s there and for that reason you haven’t left your room all day. His presence is an ache in your brain and the dryness of your mouth. This was supposed to be easier.

For the first time since he’s been back, you walk as quietly as possible out of your room praying that he isn’t awake. When you pass his room there’s no light coming from under the closed door and not a sound to be heard.

He’s asleep. Thank god.

You take a breath of relief and hurry yourself through the house, but as you round the corner into the kitchen the lights are on and he’s there. Closing the cabinets after putting up one last dish. And there it is. That sickening smile as he spots you.

“You didn’t eat dinner with us.”

You ignore him and pull open the refrigerator. All of the foods been neatly wrapped up and nicely stacked in small containers. You don’t check them to see what’s inside. Instead, you pick at a bunch of grapes and shovel them into your mouth one by one. There’s nothing to be said. You’re dealing with this well enough.

The grapes are ice cold and pop deliciously in your mouth. This is the best thing to happen to you all day. You needed this. You deserve this. Until, it’s interrupted by a large hand on your shoulder.

You stiffen.

“Don’t-” You turn and smack his hand off of your shoulder.

“Why are you acting like that?” He asks. He’s trapping you between his body and the ice cold inside of the refrigerator. He’s so close. Too close. You can smell him. He smells so fucking good. It’s sweet like fresh cut grass and natural like the wind traveling over the sea. It’s sickening. He’s making you nauseous by being in your space. A headache is forming. He shouldn’t be this close.

Your hand shoots out between the two of you and pushes at his chest before you even realize you’ve moved. You retract your hand like you were burned. “Move.” It’s quiet but stern. He doesn’t budge in the slightest. A look of confusion paints his face.

“What is your problem?” He steels himself.

For a second you almost believe him. You almost believe he’s truly lost and he doesn’t know why you’re acting like this towards him.

“You were fine when I came back over the break in winter.”

Right. Winter. You don’t even want to think about it.

He pulls you away from the refrigerator with a tight grip on your arm. You here it click closed and your brain stops working at the sound. He’s been treating you like this forever. Like a rag doll. For a second you let it happen. You have half a mind to let him do what he’s always done, but with the better half you pull away from him. His hand feels like it should’ve left burn marks in every spot he’d touched.

“Leave me alone.” You want to scream but it comes out as a hushed cry. Your nails dig into his forearm and he lets you go. You stumble back into the counter and you don’t even feel the pain that accompanies it.

“You don’t like me anymore?” His smile is confused. His eyebrows are furrowed. He pretends not to know what’s wrong.

…

You’re dealing with this the best way you know how.

He’s not here, in your room, but somehow he’s everywhere. His smell lingers in there air. Somehow it feels like his hand is still wrapped around your arms. You can’t get rid of him even in the quiet of your own room.

You lock the door. You unlock it. You lock it again.

You flick the light on. You flick it off. You flick it on again. You leave it off.

You start to try to lay back down, but you can’t bring yourself to touch your bed. Not with Hirofumi all over you.

The only solution is a shower.

The water burns just right against your thigh as you step in. You needed this. You weren’t ready to see him again.

Your body is trembling. How long have you been like that? Are there tears in your eye? You can feel your throat tightening up and wetness streaming down your face. Why are you crying? He didn’t do anything to you.

Maybe you shouldn’t be treating him like this. You liked him in the winter. You liked what happened then. You’re fooling yourself into thinking you’re the victim. After all these years, you’re not the victim.

Like a bullet in the chest it hits you all at once. So many years of him fight to the forefront of your thoughts.

Even as you scrub your skin you can feel his hands all over you. You’re sure the soap smells like him. You hold the soap to your nose and the thought goes away. It doesn’t smell like him.

You think about the winter. Your unlocked door. An invite for him to come in. You scrub at your skin.

You remember the heat of his body against yours. When you would beg him to stop. You scrub.

His hands gripping at your chest. Your quiet discomfort as you let him. The tears that rolled down your cheeks and the the way he kissed them away. You’ll clean him off of you even if your skin turns raw.

You can’t breathe. The tightness in your throat is getting worse. You’re sure you’re bawling. You want this to end. To go away. You need to go away.

Your knees buckles under you and when they crack against the shower floor the world becomes clear again. You can hear yourself sobbing. You can feel that the waters too hot against your skin. It’s too much.

A knock on the door comes as you rush to turn the water off.

“Are you okay?” Hirofumi’s voice lingers on the other side. You can smell him again. “Y/N~” He sings your name out with the beat of his second round of knocks at the door. “Do you want me to come in there?”

You’re still crying. You can’t catch your breathe. Your pleads for him not to come in are stuck in your throat.

You hear him say your name again. Then, the door starts to inch open. He can’t do this. He can’t. He can’t. He can’t.

“GO AWAY!” You scream out before you knew you could speak again. The door clicks shut. Footsteps sound further and further until they disappear. Relief. You melt in to the wall of the tub. He’s gone.

There’s no telling how long you stayed there; a mess of sopping wet hair and skin, but you eventually pull yourself together and rush to get your pajamas on. The long pants. The long sleeves. They tug against your wet skin and make you sweat already.

You look in the mirror; into your bloodshot eyes.

You can never brush your teeth enough. It’s like his tongue is always in your mouth. The taste of his breath lingers. The inside of your mouth feels like his. Too much like his. Your lips are so chewed up trying escape the feeling, they crack even more when you brush your teeth. You brush until your gums bleed. Until your mouth feels as raw as your skin. Until the taste of iron replaces him. Until you can sleep at night. The taste of him will come back. It always does.

…

Your parents don’t sit down for breakfast unless he’s around. Your mom doesn’t cook unless it’s for him. You don’t exist outside of him.

You push your food around your plate and tune them out. He’s sitting across from you and you’re not looking up unless you have to. You’re not hungry this morning. You don’t want to be here.

“Why don’t you want to learn how yo drive?”

The question sounds pointed at you. You stop, to listen again.

“You know…” You stop hearing his voice, but you’re sure he’s still talking. You keep looking down at your plate. “…really, I’m your big brother I should.” You can hear that fucking smile in his voice.

“That would be great, wouldn’t it, honey?” Your moms hand rubs soothingly over your thigh. You almost get the urge to cry again, but you can’t. “Hirofumi could be a great person to teach you?”

You look at her, confused.

“He can teach you how to drive. You should really learn. And maybe look at his new car.”

“It’s really nice.” Your dad cuts in.

He has a new car.

“It’d be great. To make new memories and stuff, right?” Hirofumi looks so endearing. The sun coming in through the window surrounds his body in soft morning light. Of course, he’s glowing. He casts a shadow over your breakfast plate.

“I’ll learn to drive on my own time.” You stuff your mouth with eggs.

Your mother insists that you let Hirofumi teach you. She’s like that. He’s her favorite. He does everything right the first time.

You leave breakfast early and leave them to their golden child.

You lock your door. You unlock it. You lock it again. You check the handle. It’s locked.

Your pajamas are suffocating you. It’s only going to get hotter from this point in the day, but you can’t change. You turn your ceiling fan on. You can breath.

You open a book and try to forget.

By the afternoon, the house falls silent. You leave your room and check all around the place. For each room you flick the lights on and of again and again. Not a soul. Tension relieves itself in places you didn’t know you had it. After checking all the locks, you sprawl out on the couch. Let them be gone forever.

…

You’re burning up. You’re sweating. You have a headache. The tv is on, but there’s some other noise. The couch suddenly feels too small.

“Do you want to go in my room?” Hands tap your cheeks to wake you. Your eyes struggle to open. Your mouth doesn’t move. Again. “Do you want to go in my room?” His face is far above yours, there’s brightness in his eyes, but they remain pitch black. His bangs are still too low. “It’s cooler in there. You’re sweating a lot. C’mon.”

He grabs you. Hoists you in to his arms and you latch on to him. You let him carry you. He loves to carry you. You’re so easy. So so easy. Why are you letting him do this.

“Hiro-”

Nothing.

“Hirofumi…”

“Hm?”

“Please take me to my room. I don’t want to do this.”

“It was fine a couple moths ago. Wasn’t it?”

You shake your head. You never liked it. That time you thought if you tried to enjoy it you’d hurt less. If you finally smiled and gave him what he wanted willingly it wouldn’t be as bad as all of the times before. It worked in the moment, but like every time before it came back to haunt you. You can’t do it again, but you don’t argue.

You let him lay you down on his bed. You go limp. You can’t run. You’ve never been able to stop this.

You think you say his name out loud, but if you do, he doesn’t answer. You ask where your mom’s at. Nothing. Your pajama pants are off. You hear yourself say stop. His hand smooths over your underwear.

There’s a moment of darkness and suddenly you’re both naked. You’re pushing at his muscles. His mouth is leaving wet kisses down your body. You swear you’re begging him to end this. There’s something of a cry for help in there. He can’t do this again.

“You wanted this last time, remember?” He breathes over your sex and drags his tongue across. Your body reacts as if you were struck by electricity, but you feel nothing. There’s just a strange wetness between your legs.

He can’t seem to remember the times before when you said no. All the times that came before the winter. When his hands traveled down in to your uniform. When you told him he didn’t need to kiss you before his graduation speech for good luck. When you said you didn’t want to know what he’d taste like. There were so many rejections, but he just can’t be a good brother.

He can only remember when you begged for him at the park last winter. When you let him climb in your bed and rub himself against the curve of your ass. When you licked his semen off the palm of your hand and kissed him hungrily. He can only remember last winter.

You were so scared. You thought you could face your demons head on.

He’s inside you. He’s so deep inside you. His tongue lick’s at the salty tears and sweat on your cheeks. His lips interlock with yours and you don’t kiss back. Not this time. You feel nothing and everything. Every vein dragging in and out of you. Every fingernail digging into your waist. The muscle in his chest where your hands aren’t pushing any more. Every breath he steals from you. But you don’t feel it.

You’re trapped eye to eye under him. His bedside lamp is dim, but you can see his face so close to yours. He’s tearing you apart from the inside. You have to be dying. You want to die.

“Hiro… I’m going to kill myself.” You manage between tears, broken moans and unstable breaths. “Please stop. I’m going to die. I’m going to kill myself.” It all pours out of your mouth like a flood.

“No. I’ll take care of you,” He says as he lays kisses along your throat.

“No. I’ll die.” You sniffle. “I’ll just die. I promise. I can’t do this. Please stop.” You might be screaming. There’s no way for you to tell. He’s slamming in to you harder. You can see it. You can’t feel it, but you know it hurts. Then it all stops. You can’t see anymore. There’s nothing. Again.

He’s there. Laying on your stomach when you come to. You feel sticky. Like your body’s covered in slime. Gross. Like you’re wrapped in spiderwebs. Like your brother’s been inside of you. Like this has been going on for as long as you can remember.

You try to push him off of you. You’re still naked. You don’t want your pajamas back anyway. You just want the shower. You push at his head and try to slide your body from under him. His scalp is wet with sweat.

You just want to shower. He won’t budge. His smell is seeping deeper into your skin by the second.

He turns to face you.

“Mom and dad are out all night. We have time.”

You give up. You’ll never be clean again.

[imogenkol]

— UNRAVELED

pairing: Imogen Kol (oc) x Bix Caleen words: 1.3k rating: mature warnings: mentions of child murder tags: angst, break-up

READ IT ON AO3

summary: Imogen thought the darkest parts of her past were bared and accepted by the only person she ever grew to love. But there was still one stone left unturned — one mission she had not thought about in many years — and it may be the catalyst she always feared

note: this is a collaborative one-shot with the extremely talented @e-the-village-cryptid who provided the Bix parts (and also the title) <3

Imogen entered to an immediate and palpable tension lingering in the air like an invisible mist. Bix sat at her makeshift workbench, tinkering with scrap to keep her hands busy, but there was a distinct unrest to her movements that Imogen noted — the mechanic’s shoulders were stiff and her jaw set in a firm line. The tension grew thicker the closer Imogen approached, like a noose becoming taut, and it stopped her short. “What is it?” Imogen carefully asked.

Bix didn't respond, but the tidal wave of emotion that hit Imogen through the Force almost knocked her a step back. Grief, rage, terror, more she couldn't even name. She'd been hit with these surges before—days when bad news arrived from Ferrix, nights when Bix would suddenly jolt awake, breathing hard, fighting a battle she was not privy to—but not like this. Something was different this time.

“Bix,” Imogen gently called with more insistence, and reached out. As soon as the tips of her fingers made contact, Bix flinched away from her. 

“Don’t touch me,” she commanded, her tone a mixture of sharp fury and heavy sadness. 

It was then that Imogen realized she was somehow the source of conflict in Bix’s warring mind tonight, though she could scarcely reason why. Still, Imogen retreated from her lover obediently as her brows knitted together. She waited for an explanation.

"Utapau Moon. 3642 ATC. Unidentified girl, age 7-9. Unidentified boy, age 4-6," Bix recited. Her tone was level, almost monotone. But when she raised her eyes to meet Imogen's, they were dark and shining with grief.

Imogen went utterly still. She could hear the low hum of her lightsaber — see its deep crimson light reflected in the watery eyes of the young girl as she feebly placed herself between Imogen and the frightened little boy behind her. The screams of their parents outside of the hut echoed in her ears, even after they were cut short by blaster fire. 

Imogen felt very little sense of pride or accomplishment that night. There was no sport in killing children, but at the time she had been sent to complete a task to the best of her abilities and judgment. And so she did. Force sensitives at that age were of no use to her and would have been seen as a threat to the Emperor. They were better off eliminated. It was a mercy, really. 

Not that Bix saw it that way. It only took a brief moment of thought to piece together exactly how she came to know of this, and Imogen felt ire replace the hot flush of guilt in her gut. 

“It seems Cassian has been entertaining himself with pointless research and sharing his findings.”

Parts crashed to the floor as Bix stood abruptly, her chair toppling backwards, rounding on Imogen in white hot rage. "You think this is about CASSIAN—" Bix cut herself off, eyes flashing from fury to disbelief to betrayal to something new, looking at Imogen as if she'd only just seen her for the first time. She stilled. 

"You do, don’t you?" Bix's voice was suddenly quiet, her eyes boring into Imogen's with a strange expression Imogen had never seen before. Bix took a step forward. "Remembering— that— and all you can think about is Cassian." Another step. And belatedly, Imogen recognized the look in her eyes, in the disgusted turn of her nose, in the curl of her lip. 

Contempt. 

Bix, standing before her, staring at her like she'd never seen such a despicable sight.

That look cut Imogen deeper than any blade could have, but she swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and clenched her fists as if her own rage were something tangible to grasp onto and wield like the hilt attached to her belt. 

“What do you want from me?” She snapped coldly. “To grovel at your feet and weep for those children? To tell you that if I could go back and change their fate, I would?” She shook her head and scoffed at the ridiculous notion — at the position she found herself in when she had tried so hard to get Bix to see what she was before. Imogen believed they were well past that acceptance, but it is always the blow you don’t see coming that hurts the most. 

Imogen continued “Even if I wished to, nothing will change the past. Remorse is as useless and cumbersome as an anvil tied to my ankle. So, yes, forgive me if I find myself irritated that Cassian once again feels the need to drive a wedge between us!”

Bix scoffed disbelievingly, blinking rapidly as if she could conceal the sheen of tears welling in her eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do want you to grieve them. I want you—" She broke off, searching Imogen's gaze for something that wasn't there. The disgust returned to her expression as she broke the eye contact. "You can’t understand that? You can’t understand that Cassian just wants to protect me— to warn me about— about the kind of monster—"

“And you knew already,” Imogen interjected, struggling to keep her tone level. Her chest tightened at that last word. Monster. Imogen was very familiar with that word. She had been addressed as such more often than her own name at times, but to hear it come from the lips of her lover made the next few heaving breaths out of her lungs painful. “You have known what I am from the start, I never pretended to be anything else. Do not act shocked when you hear the details.”

"I didn’t know about the children," Bix said quietly. All the fight seemed to have drained from her body. She began collecting the parts strewn across the floor, reorganizing her table with shaking hands. "The rest of the cell will see the document tomorrow. You should be far away from here by then."

Bix knocked all the air out of Imogen’s lungs with that last sentence. She swayed on weak knees, opening and closing her mouth as a cacophony of panicked thoughts stormed in her mind. 

She wanted to beg. What can I do to fix this? Please tell me how I can fix this. I will atone for those murders in any way you ask of me. I cannot lose you this way. 

She wanted to threaten her. How dare you? I will not run. I will not be sent away like some disciplined dog. I will kill them all if they attempt to arrest me. Then you will see what a monster I truly am. 

Yet, Imogen had no fight left in her either… She simply stood there, numb and lost as Bix refused to look at her again. 

“So, this is what you want?” she asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

"No," Bix replied flatly. She turned to face her again, eyes blank, mouth set in a hard line. "Nothing about this is what I want."

They stood a moment, facing one another. The space between them was so hollow that it ached, the familiar threads of tension that once bound them lying loose in tatters on the floor. Then Bix turned and passed the threshold into the back room, closing the door behind her. She did not look back.

Imogen nearly ran after her, not understanding how it could all have fallen apart so swiftly in her hands like dust. A large part of her refused to accept the finality of her beloved’s exit. Bix felt so vital to her and Imogen had been so consumed by the dozens of different ways she might be ripped out of her life, but had not considered this — what her chosen absence would feel like — until now. 

It felt like the light of the galaxy dimmed around her, sucking her back into the emptiness that was once her home. 

Where else would a monster belong besides darkness? 

Without another word, Imogen unclipped the lightsaber from her belt and let it slip from her hand. It clattered onto the floor and she stared at it with the same emptiness as the void roiling within her before she turned and left the room altogether.

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