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The colors of the sky

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MAEVE HII dropping by to say i hope you’re well !! imy <33

ANGEL OMGG TYSM FOR STOPPING BY 😭 missed u too !! going to try to be more active from now on and i’m doing okay at the moment hbu <33

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so uh… hello !

sorry for literally vanishing for like almost two months? (ㅠ﹏ㅠ)

at some point i had so much going on and when i did remember I haven’t been on here then i like,, got nervous to log in for whatever reason ? :,) now i finally got myself together and here i am

still not sure how active i’ll be or if i have time to write since i got into a new school and definitely want to focus on it ! also really happy that i finally have a chance to learn psychology !! :D but i’ll try to post some stuff since i’m still very much into bsd and miss talking to lovely people here <33

so yeah i hope that kind of explains why i was inactive, i’m back now (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

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🍓

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pinky promise i’m going to work on the requests next 🙏

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chuuya values evenings after work more than anything because no matter how late it is, you’re always at his apartment, the only person he wants to see after a long day of dealing with missions and paperwork.

most of the time you’re asleep by the time he comes but the other times you’re not. the thought of you greeting him with your tired smile and tender kisses already makes him yearn for you, even when his work day has barely started, which happens more times than he likes to admit.

the moment he can fall into your arms, its like the time itself pauses. he doesn’t have to think about anything else but you and your calmly beating heart. chuuya wouldn’t see himself be as content as he is without you. you somehow always know what he needs or wants when you get a good look at him, it still amazes him how effortlessly you see through him, showing him how much you care.

which also makes him feel a little guilty at times. you do so much for him while he half of time doesn’t get to do the same for you since he already is exhausted by the time he returns, sometimes too tired to shower you with the affection you deserve. and you know that. and you’re okay with that. chuuya believes he will never fully comprehend why you are so understanding while you clearly deserve more than that.

after meeting you chuuya can’t imagine spending a night without you. your existence has completely altered his brain chemistry and his body itself craves for you more than he realises.

home isn’t his apartment where he has spent countless nights at, rather it’s something he cherishes so much, something so valuable that it's barely comparable to anything else he has. he knows that his home will always be you.

sighhh this is so short but it's better than nothing i guess (,,>﹏<,,)

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the way i keep getting fic ideas but have barely written anything 😞

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but heroes often fail

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i love swimming during summer so much 🫶

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decided today that i’m gonna join art fight this year for the first time :3 nervous and excited for it at the same time hahah

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HELP not weird at all dw i’m happy to hear you like my writing :,) and ah my theme, rip to her because i’m changing it soon 😭😣

OOH but i bet it will look just as good, can’t wait to see it ! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

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hi new mootie i adore your writing :) <3

HI HII thank you sm !! <3 i really hope this doesn’t sound weird but after checking your blog i realised you’re the author of one of my favourite dazai fics ever !! ( ˶°ㅁ°) !! love love your writing and theme, so glad to be mutuals with you ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

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Pop your pérignon — d. osamu

synopsis. so what if he doesn’t care about his own birthday? you still wanted to make him feel special

content. gn!reader, fluff, idk the ending seems rushed sorry :(

notes. the silly doodle is drawn by me <3 and happy happy birthday to our sweet, adorable, charming dazai !!! mwah mwah ! ���(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

you have been mentally counting the days to his birthday.

dazai has told you about his birthday once and you’ve told yourself to not forget it since. he doesn’t really care for it, thinking that there’s little to no point celebrating his age growing by one, a mere reminder that he’s managed to live through yet another year. or so he told you and it makes you a little sad when you think about it. most people you have met get excited or at least look forward to their birthdays so seeing him be so indifferent about his own is unusual for you.

that doesn’t mean you were going to keep it that way. while you had nothing grand planned, you still wanted to surprise him and that in itself turned out to be a much more difficult task than you expected. dazai knows you really well and because of that you can’t afford to make even a single slip up. 

now the hardest part was actually figuring out what to gift him. you didn’t want to get him just something random and expensive, you wanted it to have a meaning for him. you found the amount of time you spent thinking about it embarrassing because who doesn’t know what to give to their own boyfriend? but in the end you did get an idea. a simple but sweet idea. whenever dazai went on a longer mission or had to be somewhere, you used the chance to work on it and put it together. and of course afterwards making sure it was hidden well, under the bed behind many boxes to be exact.

getting a cake was trickier. at first you thought about making it yourself but then you’d have to make it a day before his birthday with no way of knowing if he was going to be away somewhere or not. so if he were to stay with you then making a cake without him noticing is near impossible. with that in mind you chose to buy one and that wasn’t easy either. to somehow get a cake in the fridge a day before without him suspecting anything? yeah you couldn’t have done it alone. that’s when you decided to ask tanizaki for help.

you told him exactly which cake to get and when the time was right, you sent tanizaki a message, a sign that he could enter since you had intentionally left the front door unlocked for him. you were laying bed with dazai when he came in and you didn’t even hear him open or close the fridge. his ability was the plan b in case if dazai happened to suddenly go there. in the end everything went smoothly and you couldn’t feel more relieved. you made a mental note to yourself to pay him back for the cake later.

and before you know it, the day is here. you lazily rubbed your eyes as the rising sunlight woke you up. you slightly shift your body, turning your head a little to see the familiar chocolate brown hair and his face nuzzled against your back. his peaceful state always managed to bring a subtle smile to your lips. but that soon falls as you remember something and god you should have realised this earlier.

how are you going to get out of bed?

the ideal scenario would be that you slowly manage to escape his grasp, placing a pillow in your place and then you would have the chance to get everything ready and surprise him before he wakes up. except it’s dazai that we’re talking about. asleep or not, this man refuses to let go of you easily and only whines about how cold it is without your warmth. and most of the time it works because you can’t deny how comfortable it is to relax in his embrace and forget about the world around you for a moment.

but right now you actually wanted no, needed to get up. you sigh slightly as you think what to do. you know he is going to wake up, dazai has never been a heavy sleeper so moving out of bed would definitely alert him. which leaves you one last option that has to work. you carefully start to shift your body, trying to move his arm, which is wrapped around your waist, out of the way. you were close to sitting up before you could feel dazai’s hold tighten around you, making your movements pause.

“where are you going..?” he mumbles against your skin, the sleep in his voice evident. i take a small breath and then respond. “to the bathroom, i’ll be right back.” your voice is quiet as you let one of your hands brush through his hair. you silently prayed for him to let you since you really have no idea what else you’re going to do otherwise.

you have to hold in an exhale of relief when his hold loosens again, giving you the chance to sit up. a sleepy ‘okay’ is all he says in return and you’re almost surprised at how effortlessly you managed to leave. it could be because he’s still half asleep. all that matters now is the cake and the present. as quietly as possible, you take out your wrapped gift and the cake from the fridge. a rather small cake because you know that he doesn’t have a really big sweet tooth. you wanted to put candles on it too but now wonder how many. definitely not the age he is turning because they wouldn’t all fit. without thinking too hard you just put three as it looked nice like that.

you took out a lighter and within a few moments, all the candles were lit. all that is left now is to go and wish him a happy birthday the way he deserves. you carefully take the cake and the present, approaching the bedroom door as small nervousness starts to grow. what if he doesn’t like it? the last thing you want to do is to make his own day worse for him. thankfully you don’t get to dwell on your thoughts too long because you don’t want the candle wax dripping down on the cake.

when you enter the room, dazai is laying on his back, lazily rubbing his eyes before he turns to look at you. the immediate confused look in his eyes made you smile.

“happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear osamu, happy birthday to you!” you sing softly while slowly sitting down on the bed, placing the cake beside him. you noticed the way he is blinking and dumbfounded as if he couldn’t believe this was real at first. you expected that kind of reaction.

“what?” he speaks up after you sing, slowly sitting up. seeing dazai so off guard is rare, even to you. “come on, blow out the candles!” you tell him with a chuckle. with some hesitation, he does as you say and your face beamed. you also decide to give him the present.

“i know you don’t really care about your birthday but i couldn’t let today just pass by either.” dazai seems like he’s speechless for a moment before focusing on you again.

“you seriously didn’t need to do this.” his voice is soft yet you could sense a bit of disbelief in it as he sees the wrapped gift for him as well. “but i wanted to and there’s nothing you can do to stop me,” you say back with certainty, leaving no room for argument.

you then encouraged him to open the gift, your anticipation for his reaction growing. as he removes the wrapping, a small book is revealed and as soon as he opens it, a couple of pages filled with pictures of him and you can be seen. basically a photo album. while dazai flips through the pages you can’t help but notice his lack of reaction, only a small smile coating his lips.

does he not like it that much? you had hoped that he would at least point out a few photos or something but he’s completely quiet, which makes you even more anxious.

“…is it okay? i’m going to be honest, for the longest time i wondered what to give you because i wanted it to be something special or meaningful to you. then i got this idea and thought it’s perfect, a photo album containing the memories of us. but if you don’t like it then i can—“ your unsure rambling is cut off by dazai as he presses a tender kiss on your lips. and suddenly everything seems okay again.

“don’t like it? my love, you have no idea how grateful i am for this,” he tells you, holding your face so that you’d see the sincerity in his gaze, “…i don’t think anyone has ever properly celebrated my birthday, including myself so you just going out of your way to do this for me? i don’t deserve it.” his words push you to give him a light kiss, relishing in the soft surprised sound he lets out.

“yes you do, osamu. i’ll make sure that today will be all about you.” you say to him with a sweet smile, warmth and fondness pooling in your eyes. you swear that for a brief moment you could hear dazai’s breath falter. it’s clear as day that he is not used to this but you are determined to change that.

he looks like he’s about to argue back before eventually sighing in defeat, cuddling closer to you as he buries his face into the crook of your neck and you almost miss his quiet words spoken against your skin. 

“god i love you so much…”

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WHY IS MY DAD’S NEW RINGTONE CRICKETS CHIRPING I’M CRYING

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いまに、ここから出ても、自分はやっぱり狂人、 いや、癈人という刻印を額に打たれる事でしょう。

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I’M FREE !!!! PASSED ALL MY EXAMS OMGG (  ≧ᗜ≦) hoping to get out a fic this week or on osamu’s bday !!