#was literally just having a convo about this bullshit a few days ago | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

punkscowardschampions · 3 years ago

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Ruby & Cosmo

Ruby: Dying to know is every date colour coded? ❤️

Cosmo: Oh, God 😅 How unintentionally cringe

Cosmo: That sums up how well it went, sadly

Ruby: the quick reply had me thinking you were back early or answering in the middle of dinner

Cosmo: 🤫

Cosmo: I’d never!

Cosmo: It was a favour and I think that showed

Cosmo: She’s my cousin’s friend and just got dumped, sweet girl but perhaps not ready to be great company

Ruby: explains the 🌹

Cosmo: Not very personal or too basic?

Ruby: a nice try if it was your first date ever but I know it’s not

Cosmo: Thank God I didn’t get another bouquet 😏

Cosmo: They weren’t buy one get one free though, before you say

Ruby: they looked expensive

Ruby: she would’ve felt guilty throwing them back in your face

Cosmo: I told you I weren’t texting under the table, why would she need to?

Ruby: you told me why, they’re impersonal & basic

Ruby: & heartbreak makes you unhinged

Cosmo: I wouldn’t call her unhinged

Cosmo: at least not to her face, right

Ruby: 😅

Ruby: or your cousin’s

Ruby: Are you staying out in town or going home to change?

Cosmo: I don’t fancy showing up in the club in this

Cosmo: never mind hearing what my friends would have to say

Cosmo: What are you up to?

Ruby: the VIP area has seen worse, you don’t look like you raided the Gucci sale rail, eyes closed

Ruby: & your friends have worn worse, but I won’t say it to their faces

Ruby: I’m waiting for my own friends to be done making their own questionable outfit choices as usual

Cosmo: Careful, that was almost a compliment and not just a drag of the lads

Cosmo: not undeserved on their end but what did I do to make you decide to be nice to me?

Cosmo: besides entertain you with my dating woes whilst they redo their makeup, again

Ruby: You know how to dress, it’s a fact

Ruby: & I didn’t decide to be nice, it just happened

Cosmo: Not that you’re not usually nice in general

Cosmo: but here I am, feeling special, like 💖🤩

Cosmo: It’s also a fact, though not an impressive one, that I’m not lame enough to go in for that negging bullshit, so whatever I end up doing, calling you a bitch ain’t on the agenda

Ruby: there you were down in the dumps about your disaster date, I thought I’d try to help

Ruby: I wouldn’t, it only works for Mason when everyone’s too busy watching his feet move to care about his mouth & that’s not the audience you’ve got atm

Cosmo: I think I’ll survive

Cosmo: but I appreciate it

Cosmo: I’ve seen him get in trouble for his mouth plenty of times on the pitch

Cosmo: but referees aren’t ones to be sweet-talked so…

Ruby: your expensive roses are wasted on them 🥀

Cosmo: That is the real tragedy 💔

Cosmo: I reckon 🍷 could work on your dad though, whaddya think?

Ruby: aren’t we beyond bribes? I thought we were

Cosmo: You don’t have to go up for contract renewals

Cosmo: but I was joking, so don’t tell him he’s on a promise there

Ruby: oh yeah, it’s a joke you being worried you won’t get renewed

Ruby: he doesn’t shut up about you after a few 🍷’s with your dad

Cosmo: Sorry you’ve had to witness/hear that

Cosmo: can’t help my case

Ruby: it wouldn’t be realistic to entertain you or let you entertain me if he wasn’t on board

Cosmo: No?

Ruby: secrecy & sneaking around would be impossible unless we could both drop what we were doing at a moment’s notice, which we can’t

Cosmo: True

Cosmo: Neither of us has the time for that

Ruby: or the anonymity

Cosmo: You aren’t wrong

Ruby: 💖🤩 back at me?

Ruby: you’re being agreeable, above & beyond the Sunday roast standard you set when everyone was listening in

Cosmo: Agreeable from you I can take

Cosmo: I didn’t know any of you guys were going to be there, so if I wasn’t on top form

Cosmo: I’d love to have a second chance to do it better, of course

Cosmo: Somewhere more exciting than family dinner

Cosmo: and no impersonal and basic 🌹s

Ruby: I’d love to skip the club tonight, it stopped being exciting forever ago

Ruby: there’s your chance

Cosmo: Alright

Cosmo: I’ll make something happen and I’ll send you the place and the dress code

Ruby: pastel colours wash me out

Cosmo: What kind of place would be pastels only? 🤔

Ruby: [name drop somewhere boujee that you’ve been probably with your mum and godmother lol]

Ruby: you wasted the ❤️ on the wrong girl 💔

Cosmo: She wasn’t wearing red

Ruby: it was never going to work out

Cosmo: That might be for the best

Ruby: tbd

Ruby: but I’m not feeling like I’ll cry or talk about any of my exes so it’ll be better for you

Cosmo: And for you

Cosmo: not that you’re letting me be impressive with a bar that low but you know

Ruby: you’ll get over or under it if you want to

Cosmo: If I couldn’t rise to the occasion your dad definitely wouldn’t stand for it

Ruby: I won’t either

Cosmo: tbd

Cosmo: I heard

Ruby: another girl has beat me to denying you everything, I have no choice but to switch it up to keep things interesting

Cosmo: Has hard-to-get worked since the days of negging?

Cosmo: You’ve got all the choices, and no need to play any sort of game with me

Cosmo: Let’s have a good time

Ruby: it might have worked for people who want a different reputation than I do

Ruby: that’d wash me out too, the whole projection of intense cold bitch energy

Ruby: a good time is more doable

Cosmo: It wouldn’t get you very far, I understand

Cosmo: We all have to be some type of way to get to where we need to be

Ruby: yeah & talent has to be backed up with 😁✨

Cosmo: A winning personality, of course

Ruby: if I don’t have that both of my parents & coach are going to lose it, definitely

Cosmo: Well, you don’t need to worry about that, from my perspective

Ruby: from my POV neither of us will be worrying until the alarm wakes us early tomorrow & it’ll be too late to stress it by then

Ruby: the good time’ll have already happened

Cosmo: I’ll drink to that

Cosmo: [something that’s between the restaurant moment we just took Savannah to and the normal clubs they would go to, idk what that would look like, like a club that’s a bit sassier than the beyond standard ones footballers and WAGs would hang in]

Cosmo: but I won’t start without you, like

Ruby: not counting the 🍷 if the 🍝 soaked it up

Ruby: but what do you want me to wear? 🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎

Cosmo: ❤️ off the table then

Ruby: the bar hasn’t fallen through the floor, I’m not okaying you wearing the outfit you chose for her & me dressing to match it

Cosmo: 😅 I’ve gone home but alright

Cosmo: I want to see what you come up with, actually

Cosmo: I’ll show you I’ve got better than the jumper, don’t worry

Ruby: I’ll do better than a roast with the fam, talk about a low bar

Cosmo: I think you’re probably incapable of looking bad

Ruby: try keeping me up all night & you’ll see

Cosmo: I won’t be the first or the last to show up to practice feeling less than 💯 … are all the other ice skaters perfect 😇s?

Ruby: I’m not giving any details of who isn’t, you’re a date down tonight as is, I’m not getting ditched for someone even more 😈

Cosmo: About how that looks

Cosmo: ‘cos I know

Cosmo: We aren’t going to post anything are we?

Cosmo: I’m not looking to add to the poor girl’s 💔 and I know it’s a dick move to not even wait ‘til tomorrow

Ruby: 📵

Ruby: getting into a fight with your cousin over me is even more Romeo & Juliet than sneaking around behind my dad’s back, we all know how it ended

Ruby: drama in the routine is fine but off the ice it’s not cute

Cosmo: Drama on the pitch depends how you feel about diving

Cosmo: but I appreciate that

Ruby: how I feel about diving depends how much my brother has got to me & I want to get him back for it

Cosmo: 🟥 or 🟨 depending on the day

Ruby: 🟥 usually

Cosmo: I feel that

Cosmo: about my own, usually, not necessarily yours but I can see the how and why there too

Ruby: yours made an impression, not at all good

Cosmo: That’s his speciality

Ruby: 😬 brothers bring the mood down when they’re ours

Cosmo: Neither of them’s invited

Ruby: it’ll make a change not to see mine out

Cosmo: That’s unlucky

Ruby: but you’re on to a winner with the location, congrats

Cosmo: I had a good feeling

Ruby: I’ve got one too

Cosmo: 💖🤩

Ruby: a compliment to last until I get there

Cosmo: tbd 👋

Ruby: ❤️

Cosmo: [so obviously this night is gonna go better than the awkward date, though that’s not hard soz Savannah, but also a step above the standard club moment of every weekend hence we stay out longer than we usually do when we’ve got an early start tomorrow]

Ruby: [and equally as obviously if you found enough to talk about when you were around all your annoying relatives for that roast I’m not worried about you struggling for a convo tonight, you’re both cute and have things in common and there’s clearly a vibe]

Cosmo: [I don’t think anything needs to happen tonight but it’s obvious you like each other ‘cos you could both be bothered to show and do this]

Ruby: [agreed it feels legit to who you both are and your priorities to wanna take things a bit slower than that, like it’s clearly unlike her already to do this when you were literally on a date earlier and staying out later than planned is also something neither of you do a lot so]

Cosmo: [yes, we’re not that kind of boy, not saying you’ve never slept with anyone obvs lmao but we’re not a different gal every weekend energy at all]

Ruby: [likewise neither calling this gal a nun or a slag but I doubt she's been out with that many people cos of a) her busy schedule and b) the lowkey famous dad and brother thing that would make some lads wanna try it on for that reason]

Cosmo: [exactly dr phil, you wanna skip to the AM of it all?]

Ruby: [absolutely boo]

Cosmo: 🟥 or 🟨 for keeping you out past your bedtime then?

Ruby: Are you willing to take credit or am I blaming a messy friend’s man troubles?

Cosmo: That depends

Cosmo: we would have to find a friend we’d mutually not mind throwing under the bus and I’m not sure if my brain is capable rn

Ruby: it wouldn’t be taxing to mine to think up someone believable, if you’re keen to show up to my door with 💐 & fool my dad that it’s the first move you’ve made

Ruby: for rep’s sake

Cosmo: The 💔 is all around

Cosmo: a hangover will have you feeling that way

Cosmo: are YOU keen for me to show up at your door with 💐s, that’s the real question here

Ruby: I’ll start getting hangovers when I’m old, it’s a scare tactic before, not a real thing

Ruby: impressing my dad doesn’t necessarily impress me

Cosmo: 😂

Cosmo: That’s alright, I already have impressed him, so it’s definitely not my intention here

Ruby: let’s hear what your intentions are

Cosmo: Now you’re bragging about how un-hungover you are

Cosmo: How about you let me set up a second date and we can talk about it then?

Ruby: a brag would have a selfie attached, I was reassuring you I’m not suffering mild alcohol poisoning like most of our friends

Ruby: a second date for when?

Cosmo: I’m pleased to hear it

Cosmo: it doesn’t make for a pretty sight

Cosmo: [pisstakey shot of some of the lads dying in the changing room or wherever like ew lol]

Cosmo: Send me your calendar and I’ll see?

Ruby: 😬 lovely [but send him something similar of the girls obvs and then your calendar of course, I’m cackling because what if the only time they can both do is tonight so that looks really extra when you’re both not]

Cosmo: They’d kill us for that 😏

Cosmo: [we so could, lmao okay]

Cosmo: Well, it looks like either we double down and go for tonight or we give it a rain check and see in a couple weeks 🤔

Ruby: tonight works for me but it’s you who’d be doing the work to think of somewhere else with wow factor

Cosmo: Undefeated with two wins sounds a lot better than one

Ruby: yeah & I don’t want to talk about weeks on the bench

Cosmo: Be a bit of a dirty tactic to put the blame on you for not going out with me tonight if I get benched but

Cosmo: If it works I’m not above it

Cosmo: So, what kind of place are you looking to avoid tonight?

Ruby: do we need to avoid anywhere or flash photography? your cousin & the girl they forced you to date can’t stay mad forever

Cosmo: No, we don’t have to

Ruby: 💖🤩

Cosmo: Understood

Cosmo: I’ll get back to you

Ruby: 🚫🍷🥃🍸🍹 can be tonight’s rule if you need a break

Cosmo: I don’t

Cosmo: I just needed to know what you want to do, and now I do and I’m thinking

Ruby: I know you don’t need it to have or be fun, me either hopefully

Cosmo: I think you’re fun

Cosmo: and it’s definitely tragic if you have to rely on something like that, that’s not me

Ruby: it’s nobody I know or would count as worth knowing

Cosmo: Totally

Cosmo: Okay, I’m going on the pitch, send you deets later

Ruby: don’t mess up or I’m going to cancel tonight & I don’t want to so that’ll be us both in bad moods 😘

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library-with-tales · 4 years ago

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Bungou Stray Dogs Band AU that I spontaneously came up with like a second ago.

Based off the mobile game if you haven’t noticed. Someone probably already thought of this buuuuut I like my idea so here we go:

World setting

Port Mafia, Armed Detective Agency and The Guild are music agencies while the other smaller groups are just bands (haven’t read manga yet but I’m aware there are other groups). The Special-too-long-of-a-name people are the big boy cooperation (I am so uneducated with the music world why do I do this to myself).

Port Mafia are filled with talented people yes, but they have the habit of straining the music artists sometimes (this will be relevant in a bit) and are more focused on the monz. If you want a reference, their music are on the same level as your good ol’ big pop groups, the real famous on the radio ones.

Armed Detective Agency (in this case they’re called Armed Music Agency, yes they are still armed) is a smaller agency since they prioritize quality and feelings over quantity and catchiness, which makes them pretty indie tbh, They have songs that don’t particularly appear on the radio a lot, if not, not at all. Though they’re talented all the same.

The Guild are basically the equivalent to K-pop and J-pop, not quite famous in Yokohama, but definitely famous enough to go on tour there.

Atsushi’s arc

There were a few ideas for him (music school was in the draft but I dunked it faster than I pulled it up) but it boils down to one thing: Atsushi accidentally becomes a famous singer from an old video he made when he wasn’t fully into music yet. He, being the oblivious guy he is, suddenly starts gaining fans and is beyond confused yet appreciates it very much.

Though not sure why people are calling him the Beast below The Moonlight (Plot twist, you big stupidhead, that was the title of the old song you made). He goes along with it though, calling himself Moon Tiger, which is so him honestly.

Anyways it’s not Dazai if he doesn’t try to drown himself so while Atsushi’s vibing by the open canal he just sees him. Like canon, Atsushi saves Dazai. But the thing about Atsushi is; he’s camera shy and most of his videos have him covering his face and out of camera view, so Dazai doesn’t immediately recognize him as the famous youtube singer.

As thanks, Dazai treats Atsuhi to dinner with Kunikida, and Dazai has a hunch that Atsushi is Moon Tiger so they start a small convo about it. Atsushi’s all; “ERRRRMMMMMMM” and he wants to leave until:

��Y’know, whoever Moon Tiger is, I’d totally pay a lot of money to hear him sing.” Dazai hums. Kunikida kinda agrees to this, saying how talent like his shouldn’t come totally for free. Atsushi doesn’t ask for donations or get youtube money (because he dunno how :( ) so he’s almost flat broke, and this kinda perks his interest.

“Actually, uh, I kinda know Moon Tiger. I didn’t want to bring it up because I thought you’d ask for autographs or something ha ha. I agree with the paying part.” Atsushi you’re low key greedy ngl, Pre-Bullshit Atsushi was greedy. Money-eyed hoe. “If you want I can get you to meet him, but he won’t wanna show his face so it’s gotta be somewhere he can hide himself while still being able to sing.”

“Done!” Dazai holds his hand out like it’s some sort of deal. “I know a place.”

I’m sorry Dazai, but I’m not smart or sexy as you, so I don’t know the place. Let’s go with the regular canon spot, yeah? And Dazai listens while Atsushi sings behind a big crate and when Atsushi is done, he expects money but he gets a thunderous applause instead and suddenly his identity is revealed and everyone is clapping and staring at him super amazed.

And Atsushi faints from being too overwhelmed.

Anyways, things happen, some parts are alike to canon, some parts aren’t. Atsushi’s main goal in this AU is to get over his terrible stage fright while simultaneously trying to avoid clashing with Port Mafia, who at first, wants to recruit him before he fully signs the contract with AMA.

I don’t know how battles would work in this, but they happen.

Dazai’s backstory

So my man Dazai amirite?

Not a surprise, he used to be under Port Mafia. At some point he does numerous collabs with free lancer Chuuya because Chuuya’s little sheep band had an issue with copyright with Port Mafia (oops).

Onto the main course though: Odasaku.

Ango is in charge of Oda and Dazai, who usually does music together because they’re friends (hurray). But Oda had long gave up on doing vocals because his throat just couldn’t handle it, he much prefers writing music and Dazai doesn’t mind because he never has extremely big ideas anyways.

A clash with Mimic happens and Mori’s all: We need more music we need to stay number one. And so -I dunno how- he forces Oda to finally use his voice to sing via Ango’s persuasion.

Oda completely loses his voice in the end, like he completely damaged it, and he can’t handle the music industry anymore so he leaves. And Dazai’s all: “Don’t go please.”

And Oda writes on his phone and holds it out for Dazai, “This agency. It doesn’t care much for music, does it? I used to sing because I liked singing, because there were feelings in it. But slowly this agency stopped me from being able to do that. Dazai. Don’t you think you should sing with feelings too? You’ve never made an opinion on my ideas, is it because you can’t or you won’t?”

And Dazai realizes he only likes doing music because of the people around him, especially Oda, and now that Oda isn’t in Port Mafia anymore, it just isn’t the same. He’s been making music to grab people’s attention and not much because he wanted to. So he decides to change and switches agencies.

(His relationship with Akutagawa is as straining as canon; “I don’t care about how you made this dumb song, it’s not good enough! How will anyone want to listen to this crap?” Now Aku’s music are catchy and all but lacking in meaning.)

Other things

Yosano’s music is pretty rough, but it literally lets all the feelings out, so it becomes pretty nice. So you know that music that cures this and cures that? That’s Yosano’s music, except it’s really hardcore. I don’t know how she does it, she just does.

Kyouka is the daughter of two big music geniuses and is expected to be the same, so she gets an immediate acceptance into Port Mafia and it nearly breaks her until Atsushi meets her. During a concert or something -because in the end, Atsushi’s still the fan boy type- Atsushi goes up to Kyouka and asks if she’s okay and stuff.

“I’ve made 35 songs, but I can’t...hear my own voice, my own music...” Your Lie in April ref do not hunt me please.

Ranpo is known to have serious in depth meaning behind his music, and a good 20% are just matryoshka songs (he gives out stuff if you find out if his song is an in depth meaning one or just nonsense that somehow speaks meaning while having no theme at all)

Poe’s are somewhat the same as Ranpo, except they’re more like stories to be honest, and his songs get numerous fan interpretation and so far, Ranpo always gets it right. The only one who ever does without missing a beat (ha ha got em.)

Debating if I should just make Kunikida an agent or a music artist that just likes writing songs rather than performing them.

Naomi could be an idol ngl but she’s not, she’s her brother’s number one fan! (She’s a secretary in the agency.)

Chuuya’s more famous for his pretty looks than his music at this point, but it doesn’t mean he’s a shit music artist though.

Higuchi is Aku’s agent.

Kenji’s songs are so happy and go-lucky it makes anyone listening to it feel pumped up. Hence his music are often used in AMVs or sports exercise (what a range!)

Yumeno’s music are those cursed type of songs that weren’t meant to be creepy or weird to begin with (e.g Tonight You Belong To Me, it’s an innocent song yet it can be taken as horror(?)) but end up becoming one anyways.

Dazai’s songs are so sad sometimes but they’re always upbeat. A weird yet perfect balance for his listeners.

That’s all I got! Honestly, don’t really know how to develop The Guild in this, maybe one day I will.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #band au #dazai osamu #atsushi nakajima #kunikida doppo #yosano akiko #odasaku sakunosuke #kyouka izumi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #yumeno kyuusaku #edogawa ranpo #edgar allen poe #higuchi ichiyo #kenji miyazawa #tanizaki naomi #nakahara chuuya

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thatadorkablegirl · 5 years ago

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Since 2019 is coming to an end, I wanted to say a couple things:

So I made this tumblr account wayyy back in 2014 (holy shit that was 5 years ago wtf acndksm)

I actually wanted to delete this account this year since I wasn’t using it anymore. When tumblr added group chats, I wanted to see what the hype was all about.

Who knew that in the gcs I’m in I would’ve never guessed that I would meet such amazing people and that I’m happy to call my friends 🥺 Also going from 3 followers to 63 followers... holy shit (wtf y’all actually like my reposts jkjk anfndjdj)

Beware: I may or may not get sappy with these paragraphs so bear with me 😳👈🏽👉🏽

Here are a few people I wanna shout out:

@sweetchaos-yk NANA I LOVE YOUUU SOOO MUCH LIKE YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND AKFNDNDND you are one of the sweetest people I’ve met in the gcs and I’m so so happy to call you my friend 💕 You’re funny, caring pretty, and you’re always the first one to send an infinite amount of hearts, love to everyone! Plus, your super supportive! I love talking to you and I hope we can talk more and I hope we’ll be friends for a long time. I hope to get to know you more too 💕❤️✨💖💜💗❤️💕💟✨✨💝💖💘💕💞💝✨✨💜💗🥺💖

@chippychee @defsigh FIRST OF ALL, YALL ARE ONE OF THE FUNNIEST PEOPLE I KNOW LIKE HOLY HELL okay so literally I love all of your crackhead nature to the point where I’m literally in tears at home reading messages 😂 also I love the fact that each and both of you guys have such a chill vibe to you that you’re both just loveable people from the get go. Everyone gravitates towards you both because you both have such a positive energy. Also I love how y’all can switch from being ultimate crackheads to being mature individuals too! ily my crazy,lovable boons! Hopefully I’ll get to know both of you a lil bit better in the future and I hope we stay friends too 👁👅👁🤟🏽❤️💛💚💙💓💞🤍💞💘✨💖💝💟❣️💜🤍✨💛❤️🖤

@lucyhasproblems @ethereal-bean MY SMARTY FARTY PANTS BOONS I love how you both are always there to help people who need advice.Like you both are so knowledgeable about almost everything and I’m always in awe when I read through your intellectual convos.I wish I can be like you guys akdnfjd Both of you are such wise individuals with bright futures ahead of you! I know it’s gonna be a long road ahead for you both but I wish nothing but the best in your career paths. I love you both with all my heart and I hope I can get to know you both better and stay friends too 💖💕💜✨💗🤧✨💜💕💚💜💖💜💚💚🤧

@sanownsmyheart BISH YOU ALREADY HEARD WHAT I HAD TO SAY BUT IMMA SAY IT AGAIN AKDNFJDJ Soo first of all I would’ve never guessed that we would be friends the first time we talked tbh but I’m super happy that I got to know you more and I just wanna say that I love you girl and you know if you wanna talk I’m here for you no matter what. Also don’t bring yourself down when things get tough, I know me saying that doesn’t really help much but just remember there’s always someone out there who’ll listen to you 🥺🤧❤️

@hell0stupid @dondielonie1 @wikihoeofgot7 @smoltrashcanfuk MY AHGASE BABES 🤧💚 First I just wanna say I love each and every single one of you even if we don’t know each other that well (feel free to message me or send gifs 🗿 to start a convo with me I don’t mind!) y’all make me soo happy when we’re talking or thirsting over the boys Who knows maybe one day we’ll all go to their concert together 🥺🤟🏽💚✨

And to all my new friends/mutuals I don’t know too well @honeymoon-changb @homeiswhereyoustoreyourlove @qtsoftie @henloimawierdobye @incoherent-piece-of-trash @fandom-queen-aka-trash @yeomjoo @nakamowoto @yeetyouhoes @sakurasangcl @bubbleskwan @chanswish @atinywoozi @aceforeverz @applejwoos @candle-lit-stars @stars-of-the-rainbow @cartier-co @forcing--happiness @gay4nct @iiasha @junhui @jihoonspout @kpopshennanigans @mindofthescattered @nubluko @veckvontour @fandomshavecollided @bbinie (and everyone else that I may have forgotten) I LOVE AND APPRECIATE EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU AND I HOPE I GET TO KNOW YOU GUYS/GALS BETTER 🥺🥺✨❤️💜💚✨💕💗💜✨💕💖✨❤️💜 Even though I may not be as close to any of you yet, I hope I could change that! I’m always open to have a convo so please feel free to dm me, text me, message me, etc. because I want to get to know you better. Don’t feel pressured that you have to message me or anything, do whatever you are the most comfortable with! Also if you need someone to rant/vent to I’m always here for you 😊✨💕💞💕💖✨💜💞💚❤️💘💝💚❤️❤️💖✨✨💞❤️

This year was absolute s h i t especially since this year was the year my depression was getting the best of me and I was very close to not being alive and typing this rn.

But with the help of all of you (both close or not) I want to say I thank each and every single one of you for just being you and being accepting of lil ol me! I appreciate the love and support you all have given me and I’m being serious 🥺🥺🤧🤧

If you think that you can’t help out or support anyone in life think about this you helped one person think about everything else except dying...this gal 🤧❣️ I know 2019 was a hard year for most of us but I hope that 2020 is a better year for not only our mental health but I hope it’s filled with love, positivity, opportunities, good vibes, and also seeing through the negative energy and bullshit that people may say or do as well.

I LOVE YOU ALL AND I HOPE EVERYBODY HAS AN AMAZING AND PROSPEROUS 2020 💙💗💚💓🧡💞💘💛💕❣️💓💗💝💟💕💝💞❣️💟💟💛💘💘💚💙💗💜❣️💕💕💟💗💓💕🤍🖤💟❤️💛💝💙💗💛💗🖤🤍💝💖💕💓❤️💛💚💚🤍💜💜💕💓💓💕💕❣️💜🖤🧡💚💚🤍💓💞💝💖❣️💞🖤🤍🤍🖤🤍💞💚💚🖤🖤💛💝❣️💓💞🧡💟💟✨✨💟💘🧡💓💓❣️✨💓💞💜💓✨💟💟💞❤️💖💜✨💜💓❣️✨💟💟✨✨✨💖💖❤️💝💕💟🖤🤍💙🤍💓🖤💕❣️💘✨💖❤️💝💚💜❤️💖❣️💘💓🤍💛💙✨💜💜💝💝💕❣️💘💛💓🖤🤍💛💟💞💝💘❣️✨💖❤️💜💞💚💞💝💞❤️💞❣️❣️✨💟💟💟✨💜💖💗💗

#my thoughts #2019 #it me uwu #yes i was jcrying in the jclub while i was typing this cnxndnznsn

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prorevenge · 6 years ago

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25 year reign of terror, a cane, and me sweet sweet revenge

We human will learn many lessons, in our lifetimes. Look both ways when you cross the street. Hot things will burn you. Don't pass out with your shoes on. But of all the things we learn, in our lifetimes, one stands out to me the most; it's the one's closest to you that will most likely stab you in the back.

This is something that I had to learn to hard way.

I've been in therapy for almost three years because of this horse shit, it really fucked me up. This is going to be a long and sad one, just be warned.

Some background

I grew up in a house with my mom, grandmother (GM), and my great-aunt G (AG); near the North Carolina/Virginia borader. My gm is the youngest of three sisters. AG is the middle child and great-aunt E (AE) is the oldest. I love both of my great-aunts, but my grandma is the scum of the earth.

I was her own personal punching bag from the age of 8 till 13. It only stopped because words like CPS and jail were being thrown around, by my doctor. No 13 year old should have the blood pressure of a 40 year old.

Now, you maybe thinking, why didn't my mom and great-aunt put a stop to the abuse. Mom was under Grandma's full control. She had some kind of dirt on my great-aunt. Enough to keep her quiet.

Too make things worse, I was bullied in school from 4th grade till my freshman year. By then I was tired of it all and tried to put a end to all of it. I failed seeing that you are reading this story, but sometimes I wish I didn't. (Story for another day)

Now on to the story.

Junior year meant thinking about your future, Junior prom, and all that BS. For me it meant that I was one year closer to blowing that popsicle stand. The one good memory I have my class rings.

I was told by my great-aunts, that I could order any kind if ring I wanted and they would pay for it. The ring I wanted was pretty standard, with one exception; I wanted my birthstone, a sapphire. As promised, I got what I wanted and it cost a pretty penny. The thing was my grandma wanted it. In her mind I didn't deserve something so nice. Trust me, she tried everything to get it and failed.

Graduation comes along and as soon as it's done, I high tail it to Virginia. I got a job and worked towards my personal goal, backpacking through Europe. (More on this later)

Two years later, my best friends younger sister was graduating high school and I was invited. After the ugliness of my freshman year, they became my second family. I worked in the families cafe and attended the oldest sister and my best friends graduations.

For the sake of the story os is older sister, bf is best friend, and ys is youngest sister.

The offer to stay with them was put forward to me, but I declined as I wanted to spend sometime with my little brother. "This was a big mistake." I was about to head out to ys's graduation party, when I have this conversation with my grandma.

GM: where do you think your going?

Me: I'm going to ys's graduation party. (By this time I had started wearing my class ring on a chain around my neck.)

GM: you aren't going anywhere with that.(pointing to my ring) We paid to much money for it, so you can lost it.

Me: YOU didn't pay anything for this ring. AG and AE paid for this ring.

GM: you aren't leaving this house till you give it here. (Head extended)

Me: oh yeah, you and what army? (As I turn to the door, I see mom blocking my way out.

Mom: hand it over and you can go.

Now the yelling and screaming starts. AG was also on the way out to do something, I don't remember what, but she puts a end to the fight quickly.

AG: ALL OF YOU SHUT UP! Give me the ring and I'll put it somewhere safe, if it means we can go about our business.

Smiling, I hand her my ring and wait for to put it up; so we can leave. Grandma following and yelling at her, all the way to her room. All is said and done; we head to our cars and go on our marry ways. I don't come back except to take my brother to lunch a few days later.

On the day I was to head back to Virginia, AG discovers my ring is missing. she thinks she may have moved it, but isn't completely sure. She tells me "when I find it I'll send it by CJ (her son my cousin). I agree to the terms and head back to Virginia.

A month has passed and still no ring. AG is extremely upset and I tell her, "don't worry, it'll turn up". It turned up, alright. A friend had ran into my mom in a pawn shop, with the ring. He calls me and here is the convo, as best as I can remember.

Friend: hey

Me: hey, it's been a while. How are you doing?

Friend: I'm good. By some chance, did you ask your mom to pawn your class ring.

Me: WHAT!

Friend: I'll take that as a no. Saw her at ABC pawn on main, yesterday. Just thought I'd ask.

Me: That bitch is so Dead! Thanks for the info. I owe you big.

After hanging up, with my friend. I was on the phone with AG and AE. I was told that they will handle Mom and Grandma. They were going to order me another ring, but I didn't want one. I wanted payback, but was told not to do anything I would regret and let it go. AE put some money in my account and I dropped it, for now

Flash forward a year.

The bullshit of my ring has passed and I'm about to apply for my passport. Now, I hope you remember me mentioning my bank account. My mom set it up for me, when I was young. Saving money for a rainy day and child support payments. I continued to use it after I moved away. Her name was still on the account, but it was never a issue.

On one of my phone calls to my brother,. I mentioned my Europe trip. He told Mom, not knowing any better. Which brought on the next round of horse shit. It was this round that literally broke me emotionally and mentally broke me.

I had recently opened a new bank account for the trip. I was going to withdraw the money and transfer it to my new account. I hope that you can see were I'm going with this. When I go to do this, i find out that it's all gone. Close to $25,000 gone and I flip my shit.

I call the bank to find out what the fuck is going on. They tell me that I withdrew it.

CS: Sir you withdraw the money a week ago.

Me: No I didn't. I have withdrawn from my account in months.

CS: It says here you withdrew the money from 123 Adams St bfe, North Carolina.

Me: Wait what, I haven't been to bfe in nearly a year. Son of a bitch. (Hang up on customer service and called home.)

AG: hey sweetie, how are you.

Me: PUT MOM ON THE PHONE NOW!

AG: what's wrong, sweetie?

Me: PUT MOM ON THE FUCKING PHONE NOW!!!

She puts down the phone and in the background i can, just barely her "I'm not letting him blow my hard earned money on some foolish trip." (I should add that my paychecks had been going into this account for years. Entitled bitch) By the time AG comes back to the phone I'm in tears and in no state to talk.

After I got off the phone, I was a complete mess. My roommate comes home to find me curled into a ball, crying. I must have worried her, cause she was trying to console me. The why me? I wish I was never born and I wished I was dead; started.

It was finally official, those cold hearted bitches finally broke me. The crying didn't stop and I was worrying my friends and colleagues. Then I stopped eating. Three later my best friend was there and their was no knocking me out of it. It was off to the hospital I go.

A month later Im released and my best friend is staying with me, for a bit. I was over crying, past pissed, and my rage was coming forth. I was long past getting even. I wanted my due revenge. Didn't care how long it would take, someone was going to pay.

I eventually return to work, a changed man. I was starting over when it came to my trip. Lawyers were suggested, but the law was not going to do. I wanted 10lbs of flesh.

Two years had to pass, before I saw my chance. I hadn't talked to those two people, in two years at that point. Things had gotten worse, back home for AG.

Grandma was acting like her shit didn't stink, literally. She was now sitting in the living room pissing and shitting, where ever she sat. The house reaked of shit and piss. She was being a bitch to AG and AG's friends stopped coming by. By this point, even Mom had enough of her and something had to be done.

I come home from work one night and who do I see sitting in my living room; my roommate, CJ, AG, my girlfriend, and mom. Soon as I see mom, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" and walked out.

My girlfriend,at the time(let call her R) follows.

R: honey, I think you should hear them out.

Me: AG and CJ yes but that bitch gotta go.

R: my name

Me: NO

R: they are going to put your grandmother in a home.

Me: She belongs at the bottom of a six foot hole.

She seemed quite shocked I would say such a thing.

R: hear them out for me, please.

I agree and I'm told of what was going on. A agreement is reached and I will help move the old witch.

Two weeks later R and myself are driving down I95 to bfe. We take our time, as I feel a disturbance in the force. A shitstorm is brewing. After stopping for lunch, we arrive around 2pm. We just arrived in the eyes of the storm.

They had dropped the bomb on grandma and she isn't happy. We can hear her in the car. That's how loud the was screaming. It is then that my sweet revenge, comes to me.

I grab my phone and call non emergency. I informed them of the situation and say I'm worried about my grandmas health and safety, a car is on the way.

Here is the thing about the town we lived in. If the police are called; it's either going to be the county sheriff or the highway patrol that comes, depends on who is closest.

I knew I had very little time, so I tell R to stay outside and wait for the police. I walk in and see the witch; keeping everyone at a distance by swinging her cane.

I'm laughing at this point. She's got everyone scared of her. Guess what, I'm not scared. I noticed that highway patrol has arrived. (Gotta do this quick) I walk up to her and tell her like it is.

Me: Look, you waste of space. The way I see it, you have two choices. You can go to the home peacefully or I can drag your ass out back and put you down like old yeller.

She chooses option three. Highway patrol and R walk in as the handle of the cane pops me below my left eye. I take the hit and feel the blood running down my face.

It's on bitch. Grab the cane and say "your turn bitch", but before I can swing; someone grabs hold of the cane. Trooper sternly looks me in the eyes and says "Go outside before you are in cuffs too"

I turn to go,but not before I get the last word.

Me: Krama's a bitch and it looks like she finally caught up to you. Enjoy your time in jail, I Know I will.

She had hit me for the last time and I got to watch her ride away in the back of a squad car. I had finally gotten my revenge and all it took was taking a cane to the face, in front of a cop.

Afterward

I had to get stitches. She got me good, one last time. Left a scar, as well. I dropped the charges on the condition that she get some mental help, go to the nursing home and never speak to me again.

Mom and I are back on non speaking terms. Bitch brought a new fucking car with my money, so I put a cider block through her windshield after I found out. She wanted me to replace the windshield.

Me: why don't you just use the money that you stole from me, to replace it.

That is how I put a end to a 25 year reign of terror. Hope that you enjoyed my little tale of revenge. Like mentioned in the beginning grammar isn't my strong suit, please be kind. Oh and I will post some pics of Grandma's handly work.

Peace, love, and rock and roll.

(source) story by (/u/prettyfly4adazedguy)

#prorevenge #by /u/prettyfly4adazedguy #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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princeleyjeans · 5 years ago

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Why Internet Justice is NEVER fair: An example-

TikTok, basically Vine and Musically’s derpy lovechild, yet as of recently, a place of rising tension, drama, abuse, and constant “My POV of the situation” videos. Mob mentality: prevalent in society both on and offline, basically whatever you do, say, see will be sliced into a number of pieces and divided amongst hundreds, thousands, perhaps millions and whether you were right, wrong, innocent or guilty, those people, will have an opinion and either take your side wholeheartedly or be against that side or even just not care and be on their own island of “Leave me the fuck out of it”. Can’t blame them, I’m the same most days, unless it’s juicy or I’m just bored and need something to read/judge because as you can tell by my blog, I do not get out much, even before Corona. The reason for this post? Because I’m pissed. Why? Because the internet, as always, well, social media, well, TikTok, Well, life generally but we can slap that ass later. Over the last week, I’ve seen posts about abuse, cheating, manipulation, harassment, all that, and while watching those coming out to present their evidence, I looked at the comments and saw all these people, dismissing them, their evidence, their physical proof/snapshots/convos/pics/etc, these users, were getting laughed at, brushed off, told they wanted/encouraged said abuse/harassment because of what they did for a living, what they didn’t, how they acted and spoke and dressed, even for characters they cosplayed, and I was just sat there, wanting to smash through my ipad and address these idiots because god knows if it was them, they wouldn’t be saying shit like “What do you expect when you make ‘insert character here’ content?” if it was them, and I get that, everyone can be a hypocrite but we do so much to help and support victims of abuse/harassment/assault to come out and get justice, that people thinking this response is fine is just, utterly astounding, it blows my mind how the internet can be so pro, yet also, incredibly, violently anti to anybody, anybody, ironically, mostly those trying to actually get help/support. The internet is as dangerous a place as it is amazing, and I guess, that’s the thing, pros, and cons, good and bad.....fair and unfair. Now lemme say a thing, lemme tell you a story that adds to this whole theme: A few years ago, I was a blog on here, left for so long and came back late last year after being away following a military-grade assault on my account via a bunch of rad stans who decided I was annoying/outspoken enough that they needed to get rid of me whatever way possible, which lead to me being hacked, accused of being a pedophile, assaulting one of their friends (On the other side of the world, even tho I was beyond broke, anxious af and could hardly stand human touch by anyone, including my own family), being a racist, gay fetishist, using my gender identity/sexuality to avoid justice, lying about my parents being dead (They liked to call me adopted/a runway/kicked out because nobody wanted me, lots of lovely things), sexualizing everything (Minors, animals, etc), these people went after my friends, some of whom, were victims of abuse/assault/violence themselves, they received messages similar to the comments in the Tiktok posts, one who was even a victim of child abuse, received sickening messages about how they wanted/deserved it, someone who simply refused to listen/be apart of the drama caused by these people and kept to themselves, they were attacked as viciously by so called “Justice bringers”. As the arguments went on, any post I made was cut up, repasted and turned into something entirely different, or used in alternate context when literally I could be talking about something made for lunch and somehow it would become sexual/racist/disturbing, I couldn’t sneeze without it being policed. Eventually, and not all that shocking, I left, after being broken down, hunted, mocked, abused verbally and dropped by people once known as friends, there were even threats of doxxing, which as you can imagine, did not aid my already shattered mental state. Despite no real evidence, and scraps the radical Stans tried to use against me being debunked quite quickly thanks to my depressed butt never going anywhere or doing anything other than posting online, people turned, a lot of people turned and treated me as though I was guilty, some even demanding I block them because of how disgusting/troublesome I was, despite everything my harassers had being proven as bullshit and obvious lies, their side was taken, users excused their behavior as simply “protecting other tumblr accounts”, doing the fandom a favor and stomping out trouble makers, defending those who couldn’t defend themselves. As you can understand, that event caused me lots of issues with trust and posting online, some I’m not over today, and even making this post scares me despite best efforts to laugh off everything with dark humor and a smug attitude. When I was accused, few took my side, those few I’m still thankful for today and cherish because it showed me who my friends were. But despite being innocent, I was treated as guilty. And on TikTok, those guilty are being treated as innocent, defended, supported while the sufferers of their abuse are attacked, mocked, treated like the criminal despite having evidence to back up their claims. Seeing that just hits a sore spot and so, I wanted to make this post. The internet isn’t fair, but speak up anyway, demand to be listened to and don’t let those who’ve hurt you get away with it, you’re loved, you’re special, you’re wanted, you’re going to be okay, and if someone doesn’t believe you, keep shouting, keep making noise, keep believing yourself. Get your justice. Nobody should go unheard.

#I need sleep #support #post #venting #kinda #bye #uhhhh my soul

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agentunwin · 5 years ago

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What do you think of infiteshawn?

ok by very popular demand dsjks i will finally explain myself regarding this

so the other day i called her weird and annoying and i still feel the same; for a few reasons.

one; when i first got here she and flickershawn were some of the first ppl i followed and she would always answer anons like “boring” i guess when the anon wasnt interesting enough so i was like ok thats :/ but ok whatever. after like a month or 2 we actually were friends for a while and it was cool o whateva but ill never forget this one text she sent me where she was basically telling me i had to read rm bc people were “losing their shit” over a certain part and it just felt rly weird bc it felt like self-advertisement but thats just how i interpreted that so i was like okay whatever again.

then the weirdness rly started when she started posting about her boytoys. i even enabled it for a little bit asking her q’s about him bc at that point we were still friends but then it spiraled tf out of control and i took a step back and was like what the fuck. sis was straight up posting his pics, saying his name and the area they live in, sharing all their private conversations.. all without him knowing. like yo selfies and all your personal convos are just OUT THERE for THOUSANDS of people and you don’t even know. that’s fucking creepy. after that i said

hm whats next. i guess ill dabble in a lil sumn sumn here; she’s obsessed w being the prettiest and only redhead on shawnblr and its super weird. like ignoring-people-until-you-think-they-threaten-your-beauty weird. thats all ill say about that

uhh i hate those holier-than-thou posts she always makes. (SHORT VERSION OF THIS STORY) someone told me of the time she went off and practically had her followers attack a writer over a stalker/creepy(?)!shawn story they wrote, saying its not appropriate (To each their own opinion) and that they needed to take it down and she highlighted all the parts she found disgusting but the person was asleep at that time so u can imagine how that went. but i just thought that was funny considering she then later voted on Nextdoor, my stalker!shawn story so what was all that attacking of that (way smaller blog) really all about.

you know what was also genuinely HILARIOUS to me? when her and fs would get into yet another argument and sarah would send april asks but april had the blog tracker on (which i also have- hi sarah) and she could see that sarah was the one sending her the anons but she still denied it like that shit really SENT ME and then she tried to play the victim tuh NOT IN MY HOUSE!

there is SO much im leaving out bruh but ive been typing this for so long lmaoo ill say this one final (not rly) thing;

Why the fuck has roommates been going on so long bro. Like honestly, why. What for. I get its cute o whateva but that series has literally been going on since before i joined shawnblr in September. That’s over 8 months. I thought it ended like 3 months ago and I would never have to see anything about it again but then the extra blurbs and shit like HO, MY GOD. I’ve never seen anything that dragged out in my fucking LIFE PLEASEEE. I blacklisted it and it still shows up on my dash all the time I cant escape.

some extras:

-the blurb she wrote that was just actually a detailed account of sex she had w some dude? wack

-the “queen of shawnblr” shit? like literally entering a gc saying “the queen has arrived” even IRONICALLY? even if its supposed to be funny? wack

-lying on shawns friend o whateva that bullshit was? wack

-the overly woke attitude she puts on sometimes?? wack

-the fact that so many people on shawnblr agree w me? great, amazing, lol. im not pulling this shit all out of my ass, yall. im not the only one.

as some closing remarks id just like to say:

i admit wholeheartedly to being a fake bitch towards the end of our friendship. in fact ill expose myself here:

I was lying my ass off in these so YES i was fucking fake i own that shit. but now we both have each other blocked and its a mutual dislike soooooo…. happy ending!

SEE YA!

edit: im not arguing with anyones son NOR daughter over this its my last day on shawnblr think i care!!!

#asks #whew. this took a lot out of me #and with that.... i think that marks the end of my time here on shawnblr #Anonymous

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codetrainwreck · 6 years ago

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Geass Movie Super Ultimate Final Summary Extra Mega Sugoi Version (2/2)

Last time on Code Geass, Lelouch of the Re;surrection: Shesthaal is very cute, Lelouch blows up Shesthaal with Bitool’s Sakuradite, Shesthaal cries out for his father as he gets blown up, and there goes my interest in this movie.

Tbf though, it’s a good death scream. Imagine what kind of noises he makes in bed... he’s def an uke...

Anyway, continuing on.

Lelouch and the gang split from the prison and the container of prison staff he Geassed to help with their getaway is seen being let go. Although it took him 728 days longer to rise from the dead, Jesus Lamperouge has learned mercy.

Back in the capital at Shamna’s temple, Shesthaal’s dad, Cmdr. Forgnar, comes in and goes, “Holy shit my son died let’s go FUCK UP THE UFN” and Shamna is like, “No, let’s not.” Whether you think he actually cares or whether he wants to use this as an excuse to fuck up the UFN is up to you. However, based on the dialogue about how Cornelia is a curse word in this region, and how Forgnar doesn’t talk about his son like ever again (even other characters who aren’t even from Zilkhstan bring up Shesthaal’s “disappearance” later), it comes off as more like... Forgnar just wants an excuse to go fight Cornelia.

She asks Bitool how long ago Shesthaal died and Bitool replies it was in the afternoon, at 11am. Since it’s out of the 6 hour time limit (we’ll come back to this later), she apparently can’t do shit. Shamna says that with her prophecy, even if they’re Geass users, they can beat anyone. It shows Nunnally on the ceiling in some kind of tank. And also she has new clothing but isn’t wearing underwear because in Zilkh culture, they don’t wear underwear. This might read like a joke sentence, but it’s a 100% serious sentence.

At the UFN HQ, Schneizel is wearing glasses and looks hot. That’s all you need to know. There’s also a convo related to the plot and sending people and supplies to Zilkhstan including Lancelot’s new fortress frame coat, but I’m just gonna explain this in the next bit.

Back to the Good Guys, Sayoko observes some drop ships. Cornelia, who is now a general in the UFN (which makes her a Black Knight) has shown up with a small team of Black Knights and a Rag Tag Band from the TV series - herself, Guilford, Ohgi, Tamaki, Cecile, Nina, Anya, Jeremiah. The 8 of them, combined with Lelouch, CC, Kallen, Suzaku, Lloyd and Sayoko, plus Cornelia’s BKs, are going to save the fuck out of Nunnally.

Now, you might be asking yourself, “Why these specific people?” HMM WELL YOU SEE. None of them, aside from Cornelia and her few soldiers, are actually BKs anymore. Kallen is only a reserve member as she’s attending university. Basically, Schneizel can’t formally be like, “Wow send 1000 people to rescue Nunnally and mobilize the Black Knights” which is why he’s sending people who are mostly not involved with the Black Knights on this SUPER SECRET MISSION. (They talk about this back when CC first meets up with Kallen/Sayoko/Lloyd.)

And you might also be asking yourself... “Wait, what about Tohdoh, Gino, Xingke”, etc. What about those other Black Knights? HMM WELL YOU SEE. Xingke died, and the rest aren’t very popular characters, so plot-wise they stuck with the Black Knights giving the story and animators excuses to not include them in the main plot except for something really brief later.

Anyway, Lelouch has taken up the Zero costume again while CC is upset they haven’t run away to fuck like rabbits yet so she drinks a martini. And Cornelia is the only person with a brain, so she is like, “Dude, what the fuck? Am I supposed to be OK with this while Euphy and Darlton are dead?” Everyone else is like down to help Lelouch and Cornelia is not having this shit. Lelouch convinces her by taking off his Zero mask and sincerely asking his older sister for help.

Cornelia is like, “Hell yeah we’re gonna save Nunnally” after this but first since no one has seen each other in a while, they need to party first. Kallen and CC have some girl time finally but then proceed to fail the Bechdel test and talk about Lelouch.

Ohgi gives Lelouch a USB drive from Kaguya then tries to kill himself even though he has a wife and a child at home. Lelouch, without turning around, knows Ohgi is trying to kill himself so he forgives him and say it’s okay because he is merciful Jesus now. It’s chilly at night in the desert and Cornelia’s outfit is like sleeveless and zettai ryoiki so she’s walking around in the Zero jacket and gives Suzaku a drink.

Honestly, just let Cornelia be Zero.

Lelouch signals Suzaku up to the water tower, where they talk about how Lelouch understands the plot regarding his resurrection as well as the viewer (as in he doesn’t) and as far as he knows he could roll over and die at any time. Then an extremely misplaced Ali Project insert song plays while Lelouch watches a video from Ohgi’s wedding with lots of characters conveniently gathered at once... one of which happens to be Nunnally.

Also, Cornelia’s tits are one of the most well-drawn things in this movie next to Shesthaal’s hair when he’s in the cockpit. Honestly, I appreciate you, Sunrise.

SO, keikaku time. Instead of trying to explain this chronologically, I’m just gonna explain it... not chronologically.

Shamna’s Geass is to send her memories back in time 6 hours when she dies, so she effectively knows what’s going to happen and Zilkhstan can prepare for it. In an interview, Lelouch’s VA Fukujun compares this to “uploading her memory to Cs’ World and then downloading it” since Cs’ World has no concept of time. So, basically, the reason why Zilkhstan has been successful is because Shamna is fucking save scumming.

It is implied she already reset time at least once in the movie by now. The first is that at the start of the movie, Shalio remarks about how Zero moved to the place that Shamna said he would, so Shalio and the other KMFs are able to set up a trap under Suzaku in advance. I don’t know why she can’t chain this 6hrs -> back another 6hrs.

Lelouch and co initiate their plan. Lelouch successfully outmaneuvers Zilkhstan at every single place possible: Suzaku and Kallen are on the flats in Strike Freedom and Infinite Justice and wipe out all of the mooks. Everyone else is also able to make it to their destination. Zilkh soldiers have been Geassed to blow up their bases, Bitool can’t make it to his Guard Scorpion mech, etc.

Finally, Lelouch rides up to Shamna’s temple on the Mahoraba (the one Suzaku didn’t wreck at the start of the movie). Shamna goads Lelouch by hitting a button that auto-kills Nunnally in her tank. Lelouch responds by gunning Shamna down immediately. Shamna sends her memories back in time 6 hours.

Shamna is bathing with Shalio when she has a “prophecy”. We see she has a Code on her lower belly in this scene. She calls up Forgnar and explains the plot to him. This time around, Zilkhstan is prepared for all of Lelouch’s bullshit. Lelouch starts to despair and is almost shot down in the Mahoroba when Anya and CC show up and rescue his dumb noodle ass. Lelouch and CC co-pilot the Gekkoei. Lelouch has an existential crisis as he freaks out about his plans not working while everyone around him also freaks out about the plan not working and asks him for further instructions. And I mean like, literally everyone except for uhmm Cornelia? I think?

There’s a scene in R2 where Suzaku debuts the Lancelot Albion. Bismarck is there in Galahad and uses his Geass to fight Suzaku. Lelouch then rings up Suzaku and goes, “Dude, this being broadcasted worldwide, don’t fucking embarrass me”. Suzaku then goes on to use his live Geass to somehow overpower the Knight of One.

If this were a scene in the movie, it would be like, the Knight of One dodges one of Suzaku’s attacks or something and then Suzaku freaks the fuck out and goes, “OH NO, THE KNIGHT OF ONE HAS A GEASS. LELOUCH, WHAT DO I DO? MICROMANAGE ME AND GIVE ME SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS.” That is honestly what this whole sequence feels like.

Eventually, CC puts a gun to his head, out edgelords him, and convinces him to get his shit together. Lelouch gives her orders to give to everyone else because Geass doesn’t work on her. Thanks to Tamaki’s stupidity, he then uses the Zilkh public channel to declare that it’s time for the final phase of this mission. Suddenly, everyone becomes competent again and CC starts issuing commands to people. CC asks him what “final” means, and Lelouch replies it means nothing.

We then go through 30(?) implied time resets. While it doesn’t show time resetting literally 30 some times, it is implied that Lelouch gets 1 plan to work, then Shamna resets time and is ready for his new plan next time. We know it’s 30-ish because Lelouch has 8 folder plans he gives to CC, and also has 22 theories about what the enemy Geass user’s Geass is and he goes down the list eliminating them.

Something that I think English viewers missed from the American theater screenings is that CC does not retain their memories because Shamna’s Geass only affects herself. So, essentially, from Lelouch’s POV, he’s just going down the list until something works. From Shamna’s POV, she goes back and prepares to counter him every time she sees his next move.

On the last loop, Lelouch’s last ditch effort to figure out Shamna’s Geass is to bluff her by saying, “I have the same Geass as you”. Shamna freaks the fuck out and tells her guards not to kill Lelouch. Lelouch can tell from this reaction what her Geass is, so he Geasses her to sleep, and also sets a bomb that will go off in 10-11-12-whatever hours. (E.g. even if Shamna resets time, she’ll be back in time but it’ll be when she’s sleeping.)

Lelouch and CC try to wake Nunnally but she isn’t responsive. CC deduces that her soul/KOKORO/whatever is not in her body. However, they set Shamna’s temple to blow up in [X] hours. Lelouch and CC use Shamna’s system to enter the metaphysical world. CC goes to confirm something, then she will leave to move their bodies so they don’t die IRL.

CC confronts Shamna and learns the plot: “I want to remake the world.” Recall that in R2, Marianne and Charles needed 2 Codes to fuck Cs’ World. Shamna has 1 Code on her womb. Charles is dead, she doesn’t know Lelouch has one. Seemingly, she tried to use Nunnally has a make shift second Code due to her connection to the magic world cause of her family. (Her “wavelengths” are the same as Charles’s.)

Ah, yes, an older sibling with a Geass who has a younger wheelchair bound sibling tries to fuck the whole world. Hmm NEVER HEARD THAT PLOT BEFORE. Shamna wishes to stay in the metaphysical realm so she can see Shalio as he passes by. CC warns her not to “leave her [heart/essence/whatever] behind”. Interpretation is that CC is saying, “Can you please not fuck this up like how Charles did” [by leaving himself behind].

In the real world, CC, Tamaki and Ohgi have moved Lelouch and Nunnally’s bodies away from the temple. Lelouch finds Nunnally. The two get swallowed by black particle bullshit until Lelouch confesses that Geass is his sin (or something... I don’t actually remember what he says before the “uhh this is my sin” part). After, rainbow fucking magic hands appear to “catch” them, and Lelouch remarks that these are the people who helped earlier. (Earlier as in, when CC reached for Lelouch.)

The sub-plots that occur during all of these time resets are as follows:

Ohgi and Tamaki steal a KMF by distracting the pilot with camels crossing the road then getting on top of the KMF and beating the pilot up. Then they make hot pot while waiting for orders from Zero.

Sayoko ditches Ohgi and Tamaki to meet up with the science crew who can’t escape the city because Qujappat is after them. Cecile gets shot during the skirmish (all 30 fucking times) and Nina kills Qujappat by disconnecting her KMF’s energy filler power lines and dropping them in water to electrocute him and the other assassins to death.

Gino and Tohdoh (and others) are trying to talk to Zilkhstan official politic-y people about the Nunnally and Zero being MIA thing as members of the Black Knights. Gino asks to know why Zilkhstan’s Official Elite Bodyguard Captain Something Something Rich Pretty Boy PR Person Shesthaal is mysteriously missing from this meeting as he was supposed to be there. Milly, who is watching events unfold at the TV station, also asks about where he went.

Suzaku fights Shalio with his new Lancelot (ugly as) siN and its thicc frame coat. Shalio beats him in the frame coat. Suzaku purges the frame coat and then beats Shalio. However, by this point, Shalio’s body is seemingly at its limit (he’s bleeding out of his eyes), and honestly it feels like a free kill. At one point, Suzaku asks Shalio, “Why the fuck did you ruin peace etc” and Shalio replies that he has to be the ultimate warrior (implied: for his sister) so he can’t do this hand-holding peace shit and his country has nothing but fighting.

Kallen gets trapped by Bitool’s guard scorpion mech in the Guren Special Type (also thicc). She purges the frame coat and magical warp speed jumps out of the energy sphere she’s trapped in, then blows up Bitool with her good ole laser knife.

Cornelia and Guilford are on the bridge. Cornelia fights Forgnar, who then tries to sacrifice himself and orders his troops to kill both him and Cornelia. Cornelia encourages him to find a peaceful solution.

After all of this bullshit resolves, Shamna’s temple blows up and we see a visual representation of her being exploded inside of the Thought Elevator where CC last saw her. In the real world, Lelouch and Nunnally chat about being together again. The scene between them ends without you hearing his response to her. CC skips town, but not before Kallen gives CC her bootleg Cheese mascot.

Lelouch catches up to CC (out of breath, ofc). CC says something about going to find other Geass users like Shamna (I don’t remember the exact details cause Shesthaal has nothing to do w/this scene, sorry). Lelouch goes with her, taking up the name LL to match CC’s non-human name. CC pauses, then blushes and makes a moe anime waifu noise.

However, it is nowhere near as cute as Shesthaal’s “umu” or when he asks where Zero is in the prison (”Zerooooo?”). Lmao fucking get rekt CC he’s cuter than you and also has long green hair.

In the post-credits scene, Lelouch and CC have clothes from a 2000s Hot Topic - CLAMP-looking black gothic outfits. Something that like... no one has mentioned so far is that Lelouch is wearing a rose choker that matches Shirley’s rose earrings from the ending cards. Shirley also showed up in a mall earlier in the movie. Shirley... was shopping at Hot Topic for Lelouch and CC and bought herself earrings while she was there? Idk.

Lelouch recites the same Power of the King speech that CC gave him in the first episode of the anime, but with a couple differences. He says the power MAY isolate you, not that it will, and also that if you suck at Geass, he’ll take it away from you.

~ ThE eNd ~

OKAY YEAH SO I didn’t really enjoy this movie a lot. You have about 5 seconds to mourn Shesthaal before Daddy Schneizel shows up in glasses. It’s like you’re eating a cute little salad and you’re not done when your entree shows up. (Your entree. In glasses. And looking hot and appetizing as fuck.)

Pretty boy stuff aside, my opinion is generally that the main plot stuff is a bunch of “whatever” but the smaller stuff is good. Like... Tamaki and Ohgi making hot pot in a KMF after knocking out the pilot by distracting them with camels crossing the road (semi-foreshadowed earlier when Tamaki and Ohgi were hiding out near some sleeping camels) was some pretty great character interaction that actually led up to Lelouch’s, “Yo, final phase” speech on the open channel.

Shalio knowing that Suzaku is Zero BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING SPINKICK was pretty great too. There are lots of small things that have nothing to do with Lelouch and CC that I found way more memorable and Code Geass-y. Even just reading interviews is fun - Nobbu is a good VA and there’s an interview where he’s like, “Taniguchi told me, ‘Your dad is Akio Ohtsuka’ and I instantly understood”... lol...

The stuff with, “Everyone is useless, good thing Lelouch is here” was kind of physically painful to watch. From a thematic POV, we see the compare/contrast - Nunnally able to live without Lelouch but Shalio unable to do the same without Shamna. And also with how Zilkhstan are a bunch of headless chickens without Shamna micromanaging them with her prophecies yet all of the old TV cast magically become competent again after Lelouch says their plan is now entering the final phase.

E.g. we see how a ~decorated war hero~ like Cmdr. Forgner was also reliant on her explaining the plot (maybe it’s for the best poor Shesthaal died before finding out everything about his dad and his country were big fucking shams ;_;). However, just because I understand why it’s in the movie doesn’t mean I have to like it. ‘_>’

It was like watching uh, idk, Advent Children or Nadesico: Prince of Darkness or something. Which was also about the expectation level for this movie, but I actually felt fatigue kick in around the 1hr 20min mark...

#code geass #Lelouch of the Resurrection #summary

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myunknownsource · 5 years ago

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Parental Alienation

Hello,

I am sure you're curious what this would bring you to. And I would love to get right to the point. TLDR at the bottom.

Ronee (candle-jacked) told you all a bunch of lies. The first one being that her ex had abandoned them in October. We had their son for Christmas 2 months after he supposedly abandoned them. We didn't even start dating until December.. And then she told you that he called her on new years eve to tell her they needed to break up even though they had been broken up for many many months at this point. Trust me he was extremely occupied new years eve. The only reason I can think she thought they were together was because at some point before we started dating his roomates girlfriend at the time was thinking about leaving and getting her own place and he wanted to see if Ronee would be open to the idea of him, her, their son, and his other roommate in getting a place. He only wanted to do that so it was easier for him to see his son. He ultimately changed his mind when he was skeptical of her getting a job and pulling her weight evenly, which had never really happened well in the past, the only time it did money was held over his head while he watched and took care of their son. Justin and I started dating at the beginning of December after dating for 2-3 weeks in November. We hit it off extremely well and seeing that we have been together for 4 years says a lot. I’m sure you all know and support someone who started their relationship extremely quickly and if you're ok with that it would be very hypocritical of you not to be ok with this. Which is exactly why I didn't quite understand why Ronee herself freaked out when her entire relationship with justin not only started while she still had a boyfriend but it became a sexual relationship before they were ever bf and gf. Not that I would ever care or judge something like that. I think the next lie we can talk about would be the “paramour”a lover, especially the illicit partner of a married person” shit. Justin and Ronee weren't married, they were not engaged, they weren't even dating. Its just yet another spiteful name she felt the need to call me, alongside bashing my sexual history (which seems pretty anti feminist to me) as well as telling people I sold my body for money (i wouldn't have even been 18 so lets thank god thats not true) and that i frequently fist fought my mother and my brother, also not true you can literally ask them lol. I have an amazing relationship with my mother who i was actually just visiting in AL where they moved and my brother who just got back from fighting for your freedom just left my house like 2 hours ago. SO yeah.

Another lie she told me herself when she was trying to get me to turn on Justin was that they were engaged when we started dating. Did she tell you guys about that or just me? Apparently because she didn't like traditional rings she didn't have one to prove it to me because he was designing one specifically for her.. Im sorry guys and no offence to justin but he doesn't care about stuff like that, its weird for him and I have come to accept that. Now on the other hand if she had told me that he asked her to design it I would have maybe believe her because thats more his style. She also told you guys his own family disowned him, that isnt even close to true. She even tried to say it was because I assaulted his sister? Whos was a minor at the time and still is now. SOO lets poke some holes in this story shall we? Justins mother and I are arguing about who knows what, I really cant remember and her daughter is behind her on the stairs (im in the basement with justin) the argument is getting heated and Donna (justins mother) decides to come about 15ft forward until there's about 3ft between us. (his sister is still on the stairs) but apparently mid argument I freak out and punch his sister? Whos 20ft away from me, past his mother? Maybe Ronee can clear that up for us. On top of that if I assaulted a minor that would have been an easy instant phone call to the police and I would have a very easy to find record in Missouri. Yet I dont. Because that didn't happen. Also why did we move back in with Donna when we had to abruptly move to missouri per instructions from our GAL (mareks lawyer from the courts) because otherwise Ronee would get the visitation she wanted which was supervised (though she had no evidence to be granted that) for 4 hours a few times a month. Despite the fact that we lived 4 hours away. Anyways, where were we? Ahh yes. Donna welcomed us into her home because at the time we were her chance at seeing their son (her grandson). I got a semi sincere apology from her for punching me in the face that night and we moved on from it, becasue im a good person. Ronee still says his family hates him but lets do a headcount. Justin, his brother, his mother and his sister, also 2 cousins. WHo doesnt like Donna? Justin, his brother, and his 2 cousins because they all also know what their parents told them about their shitty aunt. Even Ronee herself said she was a shitty mother and that Diane was there for justin more than his mom.

Now its time for court. Ronees lawyer approached us. We found out that had we not shown up the judge would have granted what Ronee wanted (the 4 hours supervised a few times a month) which is funny because when justin called Diane (Ronees mother) she boasted how she wouldn't let Ronee take Marek away if justin couldn't make it and wouldn't let Ronee do the supervised visits because she knew he was a good dad. BULLSHIT lol. He also specifically asked us to not talk to her about what we wanted in the visitation plan because when we did she would call him crying about how she didnt want Justin apart of anything…. HE TOLD US HE DIDNT WANT TO DEAL WITH HER BS TOO! Eventually we hired a cheap lawyer who we were told wasn't the best but at this point her lawyer won't communicate with Justin even though he was representing himself and we needed someone who could file these documents when we couldn't. We had to explain to the GAL that justin hadn't seen his son in over a year and we had to show him the texts we had from a prepaid phone to Ronee where she REFUSED to let Justin talk to his son for unknown reason (jk we all know why) and he ordered that we get him that day and would start an every other weekend schedule until things got worked out with the courts. She sent her mother to bring hsia son that day and this woman has the audacity to tell Justin that this all could have been avoided.

But I think one of the most important pieces of information I can give you is that Justin has tried to pay her support for the last 9mo-12mo after he had to quite the job where his money was being garnished. We have the venmo receipts after it took her 5 months to finally agree to accept payment from, then he was laid off for 3 months per his work contract which we also have on file and he sent her about ⅓ of what he was ordered to pay (he had no job and he sent her most of the spending money he got that I budgeted for each of us from my paychecks) about half way through his lay off he asked her something about how he thought it would be a good idea if she reported the CS payments every 6 months to the CS office. It would have been free but she was the only one who could do it. It wasn't even a demand but a suggestion that could have been talked about, we legitimately thought we had finally rounded a curve and we all could start co parenting together, but apparently he wasn't aloud to give her suggestions because she blocked him on venmo, went off on him on talking parents (the app she forced him into using despite the fact that shes in contempt of court for doing that) and specifically told him she would never report the money. We also have snips of that convo if you guys want it. Justin hasnt talked to his son in about 6 months. The few times he “has” it doesnt sound like a 9 yo and its demeaning things that Ronee herself has said in the past. About a month ago he got a call from Marek and was actually getting somewhere after he started to explain things to him. He even told his son about how in June he was parked in front of his house to get him for his 2 week summer vacation and Ronee hadnt let him get him and his son told him in a very said voice that he never knew that. Then the line went dead. Ronee texted from his sons phone saying this isn't the time to talk about that and hes been blocked ever since.

TLDR; Ronee Halsey (candle-jacked) is abusing her power as a co parent with my fiance and abusing their child through parental abuse.

P.S. I know I will receive backlash from her closest friends who think they know the story and thats ok because I cant sit here for one more minute while she gets away with this(I will block you though). I would be more than happy to supply everyone with any and all evidence I have.

P.P.S OMG I almost forgot the worst part. Ronee decided one day she was going to accuse Justin of abusing their son. I knew it was going to end up happening (i grew up with a dad who had a high conflict ex wife) so every single time we picked up and dropped off their son i would discretely ask him to pose for pictures either by himself or with me or his dad. Not even Justin knew I was doing this but thank the lord I did. Because Ronee Halsey crossed that line you should never cross and accused someone of actual physical child abuse. But because shes a mother in the state of MO nothing came of it. Despite the pictures I sent to her lawyer and the GAL he supposedly met with their son and he came to the conclusion that he did infact have a black eye and busted lip but he got it while wrestling his dad. DESPITE THE FACT THAT MY PICTURES OF HIM WITHIN MINUTES OF GETTING IN AND OUT OF M Y CAR FOR THAT WEEKEND SHOWED HE DIDNT HAVE A SINGLE MARK ON HIM. The saddest part is that when I recorded the conversation Justin had with Marek the next weekend he told Justin that he never saw or felt pain from them, he said his mother told him they weren't the kind he could see. I will gladly send snips from those emails to you guys.

@chewybitart @notlemha @karygurl @sushichan24 @eagleoverlord @thementalwayfarer @angelsdoexist @saltwaterhermit @candle-jacked

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vanaera · 6 years ago

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Missed Calls

Synopsis | Namjoon realizes everything is amiss right after you dropped the greatest plot twist in his life. Now terribly confused about what he’s supposed to do, he starts to just avoid everything that may connect him to you. Luckily, you’ll never get tired to remind him he’s missing something important: he doesn’t have to be alone and that...he doesn’t have to watch your face on TV screens anymore when he can have all of you for himself in a single call.

Genre | Fluff with humor and a tinny bit of angst

Wordcount |3,776

A/N | This is a sequel to Unread Messages (I’m tagging you @spiicyari as per your request!) This will be another drabble series of mine, so expect random updates on this one too! (I will edit a header for this once I finally have a free time). Majority of this fic is inspired by the recent events in my life. Enjoy reading!

Namjoon wakes up in his dark bedroom with the heavy silence pressed against his chest. He doesn’t need his glasses to see the pitch-black screen of his phone by his side, unlit with zero notifications. He turns to the other side of the bed, tearing his eyes from the said gadget. The unfamiliarity of the black screen being just black for too long taunts him to open it and just ask you if everything was a desperate mirage of his mind or not. It’s strange, too surreal, too good to be true that his Sun that talked with him through his every struggle is the same person as the Y/N he’s been dying to at least greet with a “hi”. And Namjoon knows anything that is too good can only exist in fantasies and dreams, such as him and Y/N finally, actually talking to each other.

He closes his eyes and buries himself deeper in his sheets, with hopes that it can also drown the thoughts surrounding you and the factual probability of you actually writing a song about him. Needless to say, he woke up too soon for the hours to lift the heavy bags off his eyes along with a sudden urge to consume two mugs of caffeine to get him through another tiring day.

“I didn’t imagine you’ll be this fucking handsome, god, I should have fixed myself.”

“Namjoon?”

“Huh?” Namjoon sits straight up, papers and pen dropping onto the floor and before he can kneel down to pick them up, he nudges his phone off his desk. Jimin saves it for him just in time.

“Jesus Christ hyung, what’s with you recently?” Jimin hands him his phone, forehead furrowed in concern.“You look like you just woke up from death.”

“Wow, thanks for the compliment,” Namjoon mutters, eyes fleeting to the notification bar of his cell. Still blank and black as always. He tucks it in his pocket. “I always look horrible, no need to point it out.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jimin seats himself across him, chin jut out against his crossed arms. “You’ve been too…disoriented lately. I mean you’re always disoriented but this week was really different. You even walked into a pole yesterday. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, just…woke up from the wrong side of the bed.” Yeah, probably he did, Namjoon thinks.

“Alright, if you say so,” his friend turns to the front just the moment their Philosophy professor enters the room.

Namjoon heaves a sigh. It’s not that he didn’t trust Jimin with his problems; the kid has been with him through thick and thin (even when he’s literally thinning out last year because of his schedule and Jimin religiously have to get into his thick skull that he has to eat). It’s just… Once you’re presence has become tangible to another, it becomes easier for them to map out who you are which also makes it easier for them to nitpick each part of you. And Namjoon can’t let his friends see him as a burden. That’s why he prefers talking them with you. Everything is easy for him – relaying his embarrassing stories and exploding outbursts through a digital screen with no condescending eyes to judge him; entrusting his secrets to a person on the other end of the world which is completely detached from his own; baring himself open to an unknown face he can just hit up with a message without being that vulnerable in front of another person.

But now, you have a face in his mind, a face too familiar, a face everyone knows, and he doesn’t know if he can look at you the same way as before. How can he? He didn’t imagine the girl he loved in his own little fantasy will be actually you, the first female friend he had a platonic relationship. You even said so when you first exchanged names!

SunnyY/N 8:30 PM

Platonic relationships are so underrated.

MonJoon 8:31 PM

Yeah, I second that!

MonJoon 8:32 PM

I’m Joon btw. What can I call you?

SunnyY/N 8:34 PM

Just Sun! ☀ ☀ ☀

“Just Sun?” Hell yeah, you’re the Sun to every fan like him, Jimin, and everyone else that loves you and your craft. Thinking about it, everything you made up perfectly coincide with everything Y/N does. You travelling around with “your parents” and Y/N’s promotions overseas also start the same time frame. You being hella busy “with your folks that you can’t even touch your phone” is in the same schedule as Y/N’s concert tour. You being unable to meet up when you’re in Korea just in time when Y/N is currently in Korea for an encore concert. You spamming the convo space about your loneliness the same day Y/N received tremendous backlash on the release of No More You.

Fuck it, Namjoon slumps his head against his desk. A loser like him is a million miles away from a star like you. You’re able to reach thousands of other better people out there so why settle on a plain joe like him? How did he manage to actually make friends with you? But most importantly, why did you let him be?

“Namjoon, care to tell what’s so interesting with your notebook?”

Fuck. Why now?

“Y/N, seriously get off the phone, you’re going on live in two minutes.”

“Wait manager Kang, just a minute,” you pulled your cerise lips in a tight smile before looking back at your phone, fingers somewhat numb from the minutes spent on it pressed against the screen.

Kang Solmi just turns away, already used to your antics. You’ve always been stuck to your phone since she handled you two years ago and until now, she can’t understand your fascination in the illuminated screen that have kept you up all night and all day.

Well, it was different in other days, you usually tell her. “Just a message I have to check,” “Just one more look!” and “This person is important to me” - all of these already worn out on your tongue but you wouldn’t choose otherwise. You can’t open to her that you’ve been craving a normalcy in your life and this online friend of yours happened to give you just that. You can’t just blurt out too that you’ve been telling a stranger about things you’ve promised to keep exclusive only for the company, much less things you didn’t disclose even to your family and friends. And most importantly, you can’t tell her that stranger has been your muse for one year now that you can’t even control the rapid thrumming of your heart whenever you wake up to his “good morning, hoe.” For god’s sake, it doesn’t even sound romantic!

But all of the things you can’t do, you can’t drag the screen down enough to change the things you sent in your convo space with MonJoon. It’s still frozen to the last message you sent him.

SunnyY/N 1:04 AM

But I can’t wait that long, what if I say I want to meet you now?

Shit, you must have freaked him out. You haven’t met him personally in the first place and you already scared him off. You bite your lip and scrunch your face in annoyance. “Why did I have to be drunk that day? Out of all days – and his birthday too! Why, why, why?! What did I even tell him that in the first place?!”

“Hey, Namjoon, You’re idol’s performing live.”

Namjoon passes by Seokjin, eyes immediately looking at the mini television they bought with hard-earned money to see the very reason of his sleepless nights singing her heart out to My Only Friend.

The TV they bought was to satisfy Seokjin’s need for Netflix and his need to watch you on a larger screen without the possibility of him shattering it into shards. Well now, he could actually hear a resounding crack on his chest. It’s not real - you’re both born to be in different worlds, it’s just your imagination. “Yeah, okay,” Namjoon shrugged, legs fast as he heads for his bedroom.

“’Yeah, okay?’” Seokjin looks at him perplexed, tone incredulous making him stop midway. “What have you eaten? You’re usually salivating just the moment your eyes land on her.”

“I do not!”

“You do!” Seokin presses, expecting to see the weird expressions his friend will put on his face.

However, he didn’t expect to see the man huff in annoyance with an indignant scowl on his face. Namjoon only looks this scary when he’s really annoyed. Seokjin immediately drops the act and turns off the TV to follow his friend’s trudging.

“Hey, what’s wrong, Joon? Sorry I was just teasing you.”

Namjoon only turns on his back mumbling, “Nothing, I’m fine.”

However, unlike Jimin, Namjoon knows Seokjin doesn’t entertain any bullshits.

“Seriously, just tell me what’s bothering you. You look like a zombie these days, you almost finished our stack of coffee, and you’re being moody as hell like a 14-year old pubescent girl. What’s really up with you these days?”

Namjoon looks away. He can’t just tell Seokjin the one he’s watching on the screen a few seconds ago was the same person he’s been going on and on to their friends as “Namjoon’s online girlfriend.” His friend will laugh his ass off and that’s the least he wanted to have in his shitty day before he goes for the night to tutor some brats.

In his silence, Seokjin keeps his intense stare on him before he sticks out his index towards him. Namjoon waits, feeling his lungs squeezing -

“Don’t tell me…you’re in a fight with your online girlfriend!”

Oh right, Seokjin may not tolerate bullshits but it’s fine if he’s the one who gets to do so.

“Damn you.”

Namjoon closes his door, a relieved sigh escaping from his lips as he hears Seokjin’s laughter echoing behind him along with the sound of the TV turning on to show a different artist taking the stage.

Well, he can’t blame Seokjin from making that conclusion when it’s true he’s been like this when he’s going through arguments with you online. The first one was last year when he insensitively sent you “you’re lucky you get the hell out of school because of your parents” in his sleepy haze while writing excruciating six essays he has to pass the next day. He immediately knew he fucked up when you didn’t reply for the next two days even though he knew you read his last message. Cue then the next three days he’s been quite snappy and sulky before Seokjin demanded him to get his shit straight and make an apology message for you. It was easily resolved. You forgave him and you went back to the same lively internet friend of his.

The second fight you had was still fresh in his mind. It was eight months ago when you asked him “Why are you letting yourself become an underdog to them?” in the middle of his rant about the bullshit of Yoomi, the bossy bitch classmate of his in Arts who thinks what she comes up with should always be followed by everyone. It offended him way more than anyone has thrown insult at him - probably the most offensive remark he received from someone - and it really hurt that it came from you, the person he regarded the only one who can really really understand him. The cold silence ensued for only two days before you immediately messaged him “sorry, it was really an asshole move on my part,” and though Namjoon finds it hard to easily forgive anyone who does him wrong, it was that day he realized how he can easily soften up to you and unknowingly let you settle yourself back in your special place in his mundane-as-ever life.

But this time – this time, it’s different. He’s not even dealing with any cold war with you through the screen, but the moment he taps the icon of Send Me, he just finds himself stuck frozen with tingles running down his spine. You don’t message him after the bombing video call that threw him off his every expectation of the actual you behind the screen and – and it’s already been a week. Are you mad at him? Did you regret what you did? Or did you suddenly want to disentangle yourself from the mess of his life? Namjoon doesn’t know but at this moment he wants to cry. And so he does, sobs muffled by his clenched fist as he seeks comfort in his bed. He knows he’s gonna break down sooner or later and he’d rather do it now before he goes off to teach some spoiled brats later to fill his sad piggy bank for his MonStudio.

Another week passes with Send Me still silent on the other side. Namjoon doesn’t have the guts to check it from time to time recently, afraid he’ll send something that will worsen the situation. And though that helps him to put his personal turmoil at bay, it doesn’t help him with the disarray of thoughts and pent up feelings filling the expanse of his inner calmness to the brim. You’ve been his support system for two years now and Namjoon knows it’s partly his fault why he’s like this when he’s the one who put you in the pedestal as the only one person that can really understand him. But he can’t help it when you really do as what his title on you says.

You helped him get through heavy workloads with constant checkups you slipped while staying awake with him until he finished all his requirements.

SunnyY/N (2:35 AM)

Hey, you still up?

SunnyY/N (3:45 AM)

Don’t you dare sleep on me, let’s finish this!

SunnyY/N (4:01 AM)

We’ve done it, hoe! Now pass it! I’m gonna catch a shut-eye now. ;DDD

You gave him advice how to start reaching out from his introvert shell little by little just so he can make life easier for him

SunnyY/N (7:31 PM)

You don’t have to become an extrovert! Just step out a little in the open, I promise it will work.

SunyY/N (1:20 AM)

Don’t hate yourself too much. You know you can’t have everything under control, right?

SunnyY/N (3:56 PM)

I’m gonna send my love to you in hopes you’ll love yourself a little more each day, hoe. Here’s some ♥ ♥ ♥ from me :D

And when he feels like giving up, you’re always there to push him back in his game.

SunnyY/N (12:37 AM)

Hey, you have to continue this. You have to shift to Music after this!

SunnyY/N (11:58 PM)

Joon, you know you have to endure this. Mon Studio, remember?

SunnyY/N (2:21 AM)

I’ll come to your studio someday and make great songs with you, so just hang on, okay?

And now that you’ve been quite absent in his life, Namjoon knows he may easily just...burst, give up - lose control on the things he tries to keep at bay, especially now when he doesn’t need to have everyone know how much of a sorry loser he was.

“Namjoon?”

Namjoon’s eyes shot open at the recognition of Johnny’s voice on the other line. What the hell does their block’s president have to tellhim at fucking eleven o’clock in the fucking night?

“Hey Namjoon, do you hear me? I have a favor to ask you about the upcoming event in the uni.”

What the fuck, it’s already eleven o’clock and they’re calling me about school? Why did I even answer –

And then he hears the goddamn voice of Yoomi. “Namjoon, do you actually know what you will do?”

“Huh, what?”

“Don’t pretend you haven’t seen it. You ‘seen’ the reminder I sent on Messenger thirty minutes ago.”

Oh shit. The reminder Namjoon tapped on but didn’t actually read because the wonky internet suddenly caused the app to crash. Goddamn it, why does he and Seokjin have to forget to call the network –

“Hey Namjoon, you there? Speak up!”

Namjoon scrambles for his glasses, feet almost tripping on one another as he stands up. “Wait, wait, I’m getting up. I’m sorry I didn’t see the reminder; my net was shitty. Anyway, what is it that I have to do?”

“So basically, we had each group assigned to make their own tagline they’ll post in their Facebook update for the event, but we’re unsatisfied with what they made up so we’re gonna ask you to redo them instead – “

Wait, what? So this is the extra unnecessary event the block presidents planned? It’s not even graded, why do they have to stress on it too much? And why the hell should he redo the other’s work?!

“It wouldn’t be too much on you, right?” Yoomi rattles on, “given that you score perfect in most of our essays in class, hmm?”

Namjoon could already hear the warning bells of “this is bullshit” ringing by his ears and he could already imagine you scream “fucking hell no, bitch!” along with him to this whole bullshit scenario. But instead of voicing out his denial of the task suddenly thrust into him without his say in the matter, he finds his throat clogged up, unable to let the words be heard in the simple line connection. The cloudy haze in his sleep-deprived mind is also not helping in the situation. “Uhhm, uhh-“

“You don’t understand, Namjoon? You don’t understand? You just have to do this and then-“

He can’t deal with this right now. He presses the red icon of end call and puts the number in his phone’s blacklist. He knows it’s unnecessary but the panic in his veins doesn’t subside. It wasn’t until he pressed “leave the groupchat” where that damned task was messaged in was he finally able to sit down and breathe properly. His fingers are shaking, head suddenly pounding with long-withheld aggravation to these assholes who always have to disregard his consent in these activities –

“Why are you letting yourself become an underdog to them?”

Namjoon couldn’t take it anymore. He has to reach you.

Tapping the icon of Send Me, he presses the profile pic with your username to go into your convo space. He’s about to type everything that’s happening now but then – but then there’s missed calls and messages you sent earlier…this day?

SunnyY/n (5:26 PM)

Hey, Joon, I’m sorry I’ve been off the radar for two weeks. I’ve been thinking about the things I should say to you so as what happened the last time we talked wouldn’t turn that shitty but I guess I won’t be able to do so. I’m already shitty enough so I’m sorry you have to bear with me.

SunnyY/N (5:27 PM)

I’m sorry for shocking you that way. I didn’t intend to shake you out of your wits which probably scared you off from messaging me again.

SunnyY/N (5:30 PM)

I’m sorry again. I’ll be calling you until you pick up and I apologize this may come off irritating, but I just have to really talk with you again face to face.

A notification now pops up.

SunnyY/N is requesting for a video call. Accept? Decline?

Namjoon has never given out a reply so fast in his life.

The screen changes to the same room he has seen in the last call. But today, there’s no bottle in the vicinity, and Y/N – you are looking at him straight in the camera, face bare and eyes clear of any tears.

“Jo-Joon.”

At the sound of your voice, Namjoon knows it’s time to let out the things he’s been withholding for too long. It’s his turn to cry now and as the tears run down his cheeks, you immediately do what only you can do to him – keeping him grounded. You let him rant out the things he’s been enduring all on his own – one of the spoiled brat he tutors stood him up in the library they’re supposed to meet, the scholarship he feels he’s about to fuck up with his recent unsatisfactory grades, and the shitty call of Johnny and Yoomi which is just so unfair on his part. He doesn’t mention his problem with you but you know it’s already implied when he looks at you beneath his lashes in sequences before he continues his words. It unsettles you that he has to have his guard up in front of you when you’ve been open to him for a very long time now. Anyway, you’d rather have him finally within your reach than have him completely disappearing for the worst two weeks of your life.

“I-I’m sorry for looking like this,” he sniffs, fingers frantically wiping his wet cheeks. “I probably look like the typical pitiful underdog, I just-“

“Joon, listen to me.” And Namjoon does. “You’re not an underdog, okay? You’re just doing your best at the moment, you always do. And these things – they’re just obstacles, okay? We’re gonna get through all of them, remember? You told me so in that long textpost of yours in Tumblr! Do you want me to go there and make a Namjoon protection squad?” you roll up your pale yellow sweater to show some “biceps” you wished you were actually working on, and this makes Namjoon laugh a little. You smile wider. He’s been defending you far too long, it’s your turn to have his back now. “‘Cause everyone’s been indirectly attacking you; I need to defend my hoe!”

“No need, I’m – I’m gonna be fine,” Namjoon shakes off, his form calming down from his sobs. You always know how to make him smile again right after another breakdown. Letting his eyes meet yours from the screen, he still feels everything is a dream conjured by his wild imagination. It’s still too good to be true that the person he watches from afar now watches him and only him in the middle of the night. He simply can’t wrap his head around the actual possibility of everything that’s happening is actually real.

You must have caught on his prolonged stare. “Are you – are you still weirded out this…is actually me?” You murmur but Namjoon still hears it. How can he not, when your voice was all that connected him to you when he hasn’t found out you’re actually SunnyY/N.

“I’m not weirded out. I-I’m still shocked.”

“With-with my bare face? I know I look horrible without make-up on and look-“

“You still look as pretty as I’ve ever known you.” And this shuts you up.

Namjoon takes in the image of you flushed and cheeks tinged in pink, the color making its way to his own blushing face. He can’t believe you’re actually blushing because of him. He’s still shy looking at you so closely so he casts his gaze down. “I-I don’t know if this is actually a dream or not – I-I don’t even know how to properly talk with you again- ‘cause I mean I’m your fan, and before you called me, you were just a fan, like me. By the way, I’m still fascinated how you just fangirled with me over you.”

Your chuckles resounding from the other line makes Namjoon think he’s in cloud 9. “I swear I actually enjoyed doing that with you. One of my best stress-relievers.”

“Fangirling over yourself?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Okay, noted.”

“But anyway, Namjoon, the friendship I formed with you with SunnyY/N is real and I hope you won’t change how you treated me through that convo space now that you know who I really am. I – I missed the normalcy I once had before my career suddenly put me in a place hard for me to personally reach anyone and – and I didn’t expect an online friend would give that comfort to me.”

Namjoon smiles. “Of course. I’m just shaken up, I just have to get used to talking to my idols face to face.” You chortled at that along with him. “I wouldn’t want to be suddenly hoe-less just because I’m shocked you were actually the only person who gets me in so many ways.”

“Promise me, you’ll be there for me just like how we used to for two years?” You put up your pinky in line with the camera.

“Promise me you’ll tell me anything beforehand before you surprise the hell out of me again.” Namjoon also puts out his pinky leveled with yours.

With a chuckle of “Promise!” just like how you type your promises in the convo space, the warmth Namjoon feels as he presses his pinky against the screen to meet yours felt too real.

“Also, promise me that you won’t snitch my account to random people. I don’t wanna get hacked.” And at that, Namjoon giggles along with you.

“Promise.”

Everything still feels like a dream. But your warm smile and comforting presence on the other side makes it hard for Namjoon to turn his back away from this one hell of an opportunity fate has given him.

It’s really good that this is real. He knows he has to bask longer in his side of paradise along with his sun.

Post A/N | Follow up! I’ve been working on requests recently so expect some of them to drop within the following weeks. Thank you for all your support! :D

137 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

Text

China & Bobby

China: Hey, have you heard

Bobby: ?

China: Your girlfriend is setting up private rehearsals with that kid Louie

Bobby: I know they’re running lines together, yeah, and you know she’s not my girlfriend

China: If that’s what you want to believe

China: that’s not what my sister reckons it is

China: or Jake, actually

Bobby: 👌 Well, I’ll believe what’s actually coming from Libi

China: 😂

China: Have fun waiting for that

China: hardly going to tell you, is she

China: I’m just warning you, so you don’t look like a total cuck

Bobby: what’s funny is 1. the idea you’re looking out for me and 2. that I’d need that when it’s Libs we’re talking about 😂

China: Yeah he said she was probably frigid

Bobby: I’m SO glad I can’t usually understand what either of you are saying

China: Ignorance is bliss

Bobby: when you’re talking that much nasty bollocks it is

China: Um, it’s her you’re actually mad at, not me

Bobby: No, it’s you I’m fed up of

China: I’ve done literally nothing to you

Bobby: You’re a bit busy with Libi as a target for now

China: How am I?

Bobby: You’re only talking to me to try and stir up trouble and make her look and me feel bad

China: Oh, because I’M the rude one here 👌👌

Bobby: Yeah, unless you wanna say sorry and start over

China: I don’t owe anyone an apology

Bobby: Alright, I’ll see you in rehearsal then

China: You mean the actual rehearsals we all go to, or the cliquey one your girlfriend organized?

Bobby: Depends if you’re gonna turn up there without an invite

China: I wouldn’t come even if she wasn’t excluding half the cast

Bobby: so it’ll be left to Ms Howe to referee, lucky her

China: She literally started it, if it’s annoying you, you should bring it up with her

Bobby: I just said, you’re the one annoying me

Bobby: whatever massive scandal you reckon is going on must’ve passed me by

China: *you wanna pretend it isn’t happening

China: whatever, that’s on you

Bobby: I don’t know what you’re talking about, that’s real

China: Jesus, get with it

China: thought you weren’t meant to be slow

Bobby: She wants to do a good job, so would you if the lead had been given to you

Bobby: the rehearsals with Louie are just that and we’re having our own without you and your mates ‘cause you say stuff like that and think it’s okay, you have done since we were kids, don’t start pretending you don’t get why when it’s not a new thing

China: I didn’t say you were slow, I said you were acting it

China: you use it as a get out of jail free card for everything, if you’re looking to be offended, then you will be 🤷‍♀️

Bobby: I have stuff to do that’s not this

China: So?

China: Go do it

China: Being salty with me isn’t going to change anything

Bobby: don’t worry, I wasn’t relying on you to change Mullan’s mind about the casting or anything

China: Yeah, I’m blatantly not the only one who didn’t get the role they wanted

Bobby: That much we could’ve agreed on, except it’s too weird

China: I didn’t actually think that whole deaf plot was a terrible idea

China: neither of you deserved leads, but if he’d made her the maid or something, it could’ve been a subplot

Bobby: She did deserve the lead, sir got that bit right at least

China: 🙄

China: her and Jake look ridiculous together

Bobby: Yeah, that’s why they need extra rehearsals together too or the whole play is gonna fall apart

China: Well she hasn’t asked him, that’s my point

China: She clearly fancies that kid, God knows why

Bobby: No she don’t

China: How would you know? 😂

China: She’s giving him favourable preference

China: or maybe she thinks it’ll make Jake jealous, tragic

Bobby: We’re best mates, there’s nothing she wouldn’t or don’t talk to me about, but even if she didn’t wanna, I could tell ‘cause I know her inside out

Bobby: she’s not into Louie or Jake

China: When you were both children maybe

China: boys and girls can’t be friends like that after the age of whatever the fuck she is

China: 10, 11

Bobby: How did you work that out?

China: I’m not giving you a biology lesson we all had 5 years ago

Bobby: She’s not my only mate who’s a girl, I’d have to fancy them all, are you gonna go into the subject of polyamory or something like Miss never did?

China: That’s why I said mates like that

China: There’s a difference between BFFs and a girl you hang out with on occasion, duh

Bobby: whatever, it’s not true anyway

China: If you’re this upset, you should really say something

Bobby: I’m not that bothered that Mr Mullan can’t recognise a decent idea when it’s handed to him, I still get to be in the play

China: Yeah, so what I meant

Bobby: You’re the last person I’d tell anything personal to, not THAT slow

China: It’s pretty obvious

China: everyone knows

Bobby: *thinks they do

Bobby: but it’s alright there’s loads worse they could be saying than I’m going out with Libi or want to, least they reckon I’ve got good taste

China: You’re sickening, truly

China: don’t tell me all about your 😍s when she’s the one that don’t give a fuck

Bobby: You’re the one going on about it

China: You bang on about each other constantly, it’s gross

Bobby: yeah well

Bobby: I’m not gonna say or be sorry, especially not to you

China: Do something about it or shut up

China: before everyone else gets as tired of it as we are

Bobby: We’re not kids doing the nativity now, you can’t push me about or get mardy and automatically get your way

China: Ugh, I’m giving you advice to help you

China: fuck knows why

China: you lose all your mates then, girls or otherwise

Bobby: There’s no need

Bobby: but tah, the offer’s decent of you

China: Don’t take the piss

Bobby: I’m not, it’s a headfuck but cool of you to try and help me sort what you think is going on

China: Don’t be a freak about it

Bobby: 👍

China: I’m sick of her bullshit, you were the only other person who might’ve been too

China: but of course not

Bobby: I can only agree with you that Mullan is a dickhead, she hasn’t done anything to me

China: Perhaps not yet

China: I disagree

Bobby: ‘Course you do, whatever makes her the bad guy

China: I can just see what you don’t want to already

China: She’s all over both of them

Bobby: My 👀 are fine

Bobby: they’re both being full on with her but it’s not like she’s encouraging either of them

Bobby: she’s just 😳

China: Of course, she’s totally innocent

China: get real

Bobby: You and I both know she don’t look at Jake with 😍 and all she’s ever said about Louie is he’s alright, totally uninterested is what I’m saying

Bobby: maybe they’ll become mates after spending loads of time together, that’s up to her, she’ll know him better than I do by then, but there’s no real 💘

China: and maybe they’ll get together

China: it’s just as possible and you’d be able to admit that if you weren’t so butthurt about it

Bobby: What are you gonna try next, opposites attract? This is stupid

China: I’m not trying anything

China: Plus I hardly think bland v bland is opposites

China: Jake is ‘opposite’ I guess

Bobby: Calling him bland has helped a 🤏 putting aside you also said she was

China: I knew you were jealous 😏

Bobby: That I don’t get to spend as much time with her when that’s what I signed up for and we already don’t have lessons together, yeah

Bobby: I never said different

China: I don’t miss my friends when I can’t see them for a few hours a day

Bobby: I get why you don’t, loads of them haven’t been great recently

Bobby: and you’ve got more than me, it’s not gonna be as deep

China: You don’t get it, you don’t know anything about me or my friends

Bobby: as much as you know about me and mine

China: except one of your friends is my sister and the other is her little boyfriend, so nah, actually

Bobby: Which is how I know what’s going on, how else, I can’t hear the gossip just going around, can I?

China: And you believe my sister, the infamous liar?

China: that’s solely a you problem, not a me

Bobby: I also believe what I saw when he busted up your party we were at, but okay, no heart to heart happening

China: Yeah, no

China: my ma has a shit boyfriend rn, so what

China: you should really be having that heart to heart with your girlfriend about her mess of a family

Bobby: Her nan isn’t very likely to get a shit boyfriend anytime soon, she’s alright

China: Oh, you mean her great grandma, that she lives with

China: because her teen parents died

China: yeah no she’s probably grand

Bobby: She’s got loads of people around her making sure she is

China: Won’t be long before they peg it

China: who then, her incest loving auntie, perhaps?

China: I guess her actual grandma, who’s younger than my mum, cool, cool

Bobby: Feel better yet?

China: Like I said, worry about her

Bobby: there’s no need, I said, and nothing lost in translation when we’re both on our phones

China: yeah right

Bobby: You don’t want much do you? Tell I love her and slag off her family in the same chat

China: I’m not asking you to do anything, I’m pointing out the obvious

Bobby: 😂👌

China: Fuck off laughing at me, state of you two

Bobby: I’m laughing at what you’re bothering to point out

China: Well I don’t see how you’ve got any room to laugh when it’s about you and your bestie

Bobby: ‘Cause it’s stupid and you’re way off

China: 😂👌

Bobby: I dunno how you’ve got any room to tell me how I should react to such a weird convo

China: It’s not weird, you’re weird

China: if you reacted appropriately it’d be fine

Bobby: maybe it’s just ‘cause it’s you

China: what’s that meant to mean?

Bobby: I could count on one hand the amount of times you’ve spoke to me since I moved here and every word’s been rude

China: You’re too sensitive, still

Bobby: Piss off, you know it’s not on

China: So cry about it

China: you’re calling me rude, don’t see me moaning

Bobby: I could’ve called you loads worse but then I’d be as bad

China: Heaven forbid

China: 😇 wouldn’t love you then

Bobby: Not being a massive dickhead is a choice I’m pretty happy with for everyone who has to put up with me and not something I’d want even if Libs and I had never met

China: You want a round of applause?

China: you’re both so righteous, it’s ridiculous

Bobby: Only if you sign it

China: Ha ha

Bobby: I know you know it from assembly

China: If you see me hitting one hand into the other, you know what that means

China: why would you need a sign, you just want special attention

Bobby: Why does French have le and la? I didn’t invent the language

China: It’s not a real language

Bobby: Bit awkward for all the people who use it

China: If you wanna be a snowflake about it

China: Language is about more than just functionality, that’s all sign language is

Bobby: I wanted a way to communicate when I was too young to write, I don’t see how that makes me a ❄️

China: And that’s nice for you and your family

China: there’s no reason I need to know it, it serves no purpose to me, and loads of people who will never need to talk to someone like you

Bobby: Nobody’s forcing you, school doesn’t even offer it to people who want to

China: Then what’s your point?

Bobby: I’m just answering you

China: I don’t want to talk to you

China: this has a point, pointless as it has ended up being

Bobby: Alright

China: Enjoy then

1 note · View note

dr-gloom · 6 years ago

Text

Fall Apart

Ch 2

Pairing: platonic Analogical, mentions of past Prinxiety

Fandom: Thomas Sanders, Sanders Sides

Tags: Human AU, Asexual Virgil, mentions of a breakup, mentions of depression, very brief mention of self-harm

Words: 3,512

A/N: It’s based off of my personal experience with my most recent breakup. Convos are nearly word-for-word, Logan is my friend, my ex is Roman, and I’m Virgil. Please Enjoy! :) Fic is under the cut to save space on your dash. <3

Read it on AO3

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Virgil sat on his bed, staring at the screen of his laptop with a soft numbness that had settled in his bones hours ago when he’d first realized what happened. It was 11 PM and he’d been sitting in his room, in the dark, since he’d woken up to the messages on his computer.

It was summer break - well, as much of a break as you get between summer semester and fall semester, which was 3 weeks - and he’d barely heard from his boyfriend the past couple weeks. He knew that Roman had gone out of state to visit an old friend for a week, so he’d been expecting the week-long disappearance. What he hadn’t been expecting, what hurt, was that once Roman came home he ghosted Virgil for nearly two weeks. Virgil sent him messages occasionally, telling himself that Roman was just busy, or maybe he really hadn’t come home yet. Only small messages, like ‘hey, hope your day’s going well’ and ‘message me when you have the time. i love you’. He’d scarcely get a response, maybe a ‘sorry, been busy, school’s starting soon’ and that was fine. He understood. He could wait.

At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself. In the late hours of the night his anxiety whispered to him, telling him ‘he’s cheating on you’ ‘he doesn’t love you anymore’ ‘he never loved you’ . He’d chase these thoughts away with Disney movies (something they both loved) and the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack blasting through his earbuds. When the rest of the house was dark and his mother asleep, the anxiety would chew at his stomach and make his head fuzzy. ‘He finally realized that you’re not worth it. That you’re never going to put out. You knew sex was important to him and you let him lie to you because you loved him too much. It’s only a matter of time before he tells you the truth.’ He’d make the voice shut up by scrolling through their messages and reading over the countless times Roman told him that he didn’t mind that Virgil was ace, that he loved him for him, not for his body, and he didn’t mind being best friends with his left hand (something Roman’s theater friends teased him with relentlessly, but it was all in good fun; they liked Virgil and were happy for Roman).

'You’re clingy. Annoying. You try too hard. Or do you not try enough? Maybe both.’ He’d turn off the lights, close his laptop, and cry himself to sleep because they wouldn’t stop until he finally fell unconscious.

Almost two weeks of silence, and then, a message sent 4 hours before he woke up.

after all the thought. i can't string you along into my bullshit anymore. i just can't. i realized it's just always going to end up like this. and yeah it sounds shitty, and yeah this really fucking sucks. but honestly, i'd rather be the bad guy rather than constantly stringing you along and hurting you in the process. it's not fair to you, it's not fair to anyone. no matter how much i like you, it just can't be, unfortunately. and by all means hate me, vilify me, anything you want. i'm just not going to do this anymore. just no more of this. i'm not running away, far from that. i'm facing this rather than hoping that maybe something will change, anything, so that i can continue like nothing is wrong. i can't do it. you don't deserve this. i'm ending it before it gets too far and you get even more hurt than you are now. so this is it. this is the last time. i'm not doing this again. and you won't have to either.

Virgil had felt groggy when he opened the messenger app on his phone, but not even 20 words in, he was wide awake. He stared at the message for what felt like hours before frantically typing, his heart racing and one thought in his mind; ‘ no no no no no not this please anything but this’ .

What are you talking about? Are you breaking up with me because you're gonna be busy??? Cause that’s not a problem, I get that people get busy, I’m willing to wait. Whatever this is we can work through it, can’t we? You haven’t even talked with me about it.

He felt like his world was caving in. He sat up in bed and grabbed his laptop, shakily pulling it into his lap and opening it up. The first thing that he sees once his screen lights up is Roman’s message on his Facebook tab, and he immediately opens Tumblr to distract himself. He ignores the few tears that slip, and the trembling in his hands. He tries to ignore the thoughts in his head, his doubts, how his mind screams at him ‘you knew this would happen, you knew and you did nothing.’

It takes a couple hours of Tumblr and putting on Pocahontas to make him clam down, but he isn’t at peace. He’s numb. He watches three more movies, sitting with his laptop in front of him, and lets his mind wander.

The call had come out of nowhere. Virgil had been distracted on Tumblr, occasionally switching tabs to answer Roman on Facebook. It was a pretty normal chat, just talking about their day. Roman had spent all day with his theater friends at dress rehearsal and unwinding at one of their houses and Virgil had gone to his summer classes. He hated that he had to take them and waste his chance of a summer with Roman, but if he wanted to get his Associates next spring it had to be done.

Roman said something about calling, and Virgil had agreed, not really paying attention as he went back to tumblr. Then, his phone vibrated beside him and he picked it up, answering immediately when he noticed it was Roman.

“Hey.” He went back to scrolling as Roman replied. “Hey, Virge. I wanted to talk about something pretty serious.” Virgil hummed, sharing a post.

“Well, you know that you’re ace, and... I’m not.” Virgil blinked and paused. ”...Yeah?”

There was a pause, and Virgil could imagine Roman nodding to himself on the other end. “I just wanted to... Talk about boundaries.”

Virgil clicked the down arrow on his keyboard, sharing some picture drawn by an art blog he loved. “Oh. Yeah, sure.” He didn’t understand why it was an issue. They'd been dating for six months, Roman knew Virgil was sex-repulsed, knew he wasn’t going to put out or reciprocate or even want to be... touched like that. Hell, Virgil used to vent to Roman when someone would get into that debate with him, or when a guy would break up with him over it.

“I just want to make sure that I don’t... Do something wrong. So... What’s okay to do?”

Virgil sat back on his bed for a moment, chewing his lip. “Well... You know sex is out of the question...” There was a hum on Roman’s end. “And... I don’t want anyone to touch my downstairs mix-up. Just, no. I’ll never touch anyone’s... stuff either. Uh..... make-outs and cuddling are okay...”

“Okay. I just... Didn’t want us to be... y’know, and then suddenly you’re like ‘whoa, where’s that hand now?’... I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

This was kind of weird for Virgil. He’d never heard Roman so hesitant and serious. Well, he’s heard the other being serious, when it really mattered, but the way he was talking, it seemed like he was afraid to offend Virgil. “It’s fine, really. If you ever did anything I’d tell you. You know that.”

He sits up and goes back to Tumblr while Roman talks. “I guess I just ....” The rest faded out as Virgil got distracted by his laptop, not paying much attention. In the back of his mind, he felt bad. He’d never tuned out the other when they talked before; he loved hearing Roman talk. He shook his head and tried to focus on what his boyfriend was saying.

”-and I just don’t want things to get bad, or weird.” Virgil hummed and thought of what he could say. He didn’t want Roman to know he wasn’t listening... “Well... I mean, you’re seriously one of the most considerate people I know, and you know what my whole ‘deal’ is, so.. I guess I just don’t see why this is so important?” He was honestly kind of lost as to why this was a Serious Talk, capital S T, when it was old hat for them.

“I get why it’s not super important to you, ‘cause this is all old news to you, but... It’s important to me. I want to do right by you.”

The next few minutes are a blur to Virgil. He can’t remember what was said now, and he doubts he even knew what was said in the moment. He’d been such an ass, tuning out Roman like that when he was obviously stressing.

“Well... Given what we’ve talked about and everything.... I think I’m going to need time to think. I’m sorry, I’m going to have to cancel our movie date tomorrow, and I’ll be going to visit a friend out of state next week, so I can’t make that date either.” They’d had a weekly movie date since they’d gotten together, and they were rarely cancelled, since the two spent a lot of time apart, going to different colleges and all.

Virgil feels his heart sink, but he keeps his tone casual to not let Roman know. “Yeah, okay. Let me know when you’re free.” And then they hung up. Neither had said goodbye, or ‘I love you’, which they always, always did. At the time, Virgil hadn’t thought much of it.

Virgil scrolls through their Messenger chat silently, reading over the messages, trying to think of where he went wrong, what he missed. He scoffs at an unanswered message he sent a few days before their talk.

fucking-

I’m literally in tears rn because my mom yelled at me

I was trying to talk to her but she was blasting the tv 'cause apparently she’s partially deaf when she sits in front of the tv or whatever

And I asked her to turn it down so she yelled

And I’m crying like a little bitch

Roman hadn’t answered until the next day, saying sorry for missing the message and sorry that Virgil had to go through that.

It was the first panic attack he’d had alone since they’d gotten together, but it wasn’t the last.

Virgil continued scrolling up, up, up. For days all he saw was him complaining. He’d been having a really bad month, and Roman had been busy with the coming play, so they almost never saw each other in person, and Virgil’s stress was making his depression and anxiety skyrocket.

‘Stupid, you’re so stupid. All you ever do is complain. No wonder he’s gotten sick of you. You’re a fucking depressing mess.' Virgil wipes his eyes and keeps going.

At the beginning of the month:

Virgil: Hey

Roman: yo, whats up?

Virgil: Watching Night at the Museum

Virgil: You?

Roman: on the phone with friends

Virgil: Oh should I let you do that then? No worries

Roman: ????

Roman: did you want something?

Virgil: I mean no, not really. Just wanted to chat

Virgil: But if you’re busy idm

Roman: i’ll call you up when i’m done

He never had.

Virgil felt like an idiot that night. He’d cursed at himself for bothering Roman so much, for being clingy when the other was a busy, happy, normal human being with more than three friends who liked to talk to him on a normal basis because he wasn’t fucked up like Virgil was. And yet....

And yet, that had been the first time Roman hadn’t immediately dropped what he was doing to talk to Virgil. ‘Karma’s a bitch’ he thinks as he keeps scrolling.

Virgil: I miss you too. ♥

Virgil: Definitely having movie night tomorrow

Roman: yeeeeee

Roman: honestly are you free rn?

Roman: can i just waste your time for a bit?

Roman: or nah

Roman: that's fine if nah because i'm chill

Roman: chiller than ice

Virgil: I’m free, totally

Roman: nice

He smiles slightly. Roman could be such a dork.

Virgil: I just got sad because I realized one day I’ll finish the Family Guy game

Roman: ....

Roman: i’m not judging

Roman: but honestly that’s so cute and silly

Virgil: omg

Roman: i shan’t tell a lie

Virgil: Lies.

Roman: pfffff

Roman: sure

Virgil: Mwahahaha

Roman: wow you’re in a silly mood

Roman: i love ur silly moods

Virgil: Yeah idk why honestly

Roman: lol rip

Roman: i want to experience this

Virgil: Rip

Virgil: Let’s see, what’d I do today?

Virgil: I drew a picture of an anemone

Virgil: Then I did math

Virgil: Then I got mad at shitty drivers

Virgil: Then I ate popcorn

Virgil: Then my mom got moody

Virgil: Then I ate dinner

Virgil: And a frosty

Virgil: Maybe that’s it

Roman: i blame the frosty

Virgil: lolol

Virgil: Guess what I just learned to play?

Roman: the thong song

Roman: gay bar

Virgil: lmao no

Roman: those are my only good guesses my dude

Virgil: Riptide

Roman: i was gonna guess that too but thought against it

Roman was the only person who never looked at him weird when he was actually happy. He'd been with Virgil as a friend when his depression was worse than it was now, talking him through tough nights. He was the only person who never got mad at Virgil for self-harming; Roman just told him that he was sad Virgil was hurting enough that he was doing this to himself. He'd been the first to tell Virgil that he loved all the things the other hated about himself. The first to make Virgil think maybe I'm not that fucked up after all. Virgil had finally seen himself through someone else's eyes and actually started to like himself, if only a little. Virgil wipes the tears that’d started to fall and looks at the time. It’s well past dinner, and Virgil hasn’t eaten, but he doesn’t really want to. At some point he’d noticed that Roman had come back online, but he never responded to Virgil’s messages. He feels a small flame of anger in his chest before it’s quickly doused, and his mind starts running a mile a minute.

‘He doesn’t love you, he never did. He’s so sick of you he won’t even respond. He didn’t give you a choice because he’s done with your shit, all the complaining, the depression, the anxiety attacks over nothing . You’re too clingy for him, and yet you’re too distant to be anything more than some ex-classmate he’d see in the hall. Who would want to be stuck with that the rest of their lives? Especially when he’s getting nothing out of it? Seriously, sex is such a huge basis of any romantic relationship, and you won’t even give him a handjob. You have nothing to offer him. It’s surprising he hasn’t left sooner.’

Virgil is crying openly now, breaths shuddering past his bitten lips like a breeze through an old shutter. Without thinking, he scrolls back to the most recent messages and rereads Roman’s message before writing frantically.

Is it because I’m ace? Because of that talk we had a few weeks ago? Or is it because I’m not a theater person? Or because I’m depressed? My anxiety? Was I too clingy? did I try too hard? Or not hard enough? What was it???

He hits send, but a window pops up on Facebook, telling him ‘this person isn’t available right now’. Virgil blinks as more tears fall, his chest tight. He hits send three more times, getting the same message. He’s confused; even if Roman’s offline he’s always been able to send a message. He notices his friend Logan online and opens a chat window. He’s smart, he’ll know what’s up.

Virgil: Have you ever tried to message someone on Facebook and it tells you “this person isn’t available right now”?

The reply is almost instant. Logan never leaves him hanging.

Logan: Yes. I believe it means the person has blocked you, though I cannot say with 100% certainty.

Virgil feels the world fall away, the only thing left being the bed under his legs and the laptop in front of him as he responds.

Virgil: Oh

Virgil: Okay

Logan: They could be on Do Not Disturb.

Virgil: That’s Skype, not Facebook

Logan: Then again, Facebook was once extremely “buggy”.

Logan: It would give me such notifications on my laptop, but not on mobile.

Logan: So don’t be too certain.

While Logan had been typing, Virgil had opened another tab and searched “what’s it mean when facebook tells you ‘this person isn’t available right now’?”. As expected, multiple sources state that the chat has been deleted and/or the person has blocked you. Virgil gripped his shirt with one hand, chest hurting, and went back to the Facebook tab to reply to Logan.

Logan: Who is it?

Virgil: Roman

Virgil: I guess we’re exes now?

Virgil: Though he didn’t give me a say in that

Virgil takes a deep, shaking breath.

Virgil: I just looked it up, he blocked me

Logan: ...

Logan: Wow, that was fast.

Logan: May I ask what happened?

Virgil: I have no fucking idea

Virgil: He messaged me while I was asleep

Logan: Oh. Well... I don’t know what to say.

Virgil: Hold on...

Virgil copy-pasted Roman’s last message to him into the chat with Logan and sent it. For a brief second he hoped it’d say “this person isn’t available right now” so that he’d know it was a glitch. The message sent, and Logan replied.

Logan: Oh. Shit.

Logan never swore. Ever. He was succinct, precise, only said what needed to be said in as few words as it took. He saw swear words as unnecessary. Virgil let out a choked sob before replying.

Virgil: That’s what I fucking woke up to

Logan: I am confused. Is this because you do not spend much time together?

Virgil: You know, I thought that wasn’t a problem

Virgil: The last conversation we had that was longer than a couple of minutes was about how he’s sexual and I’m not

Virgil: And he wanted to know my boundaries so he doesn’t accidentally pressure me

Virgil: So yeah

Virgil: Pretty sure it’s just another fucking person who can’t stand me being ace

A memory flashes behind his eyelids. Sitting on the opposite end of the couch from Roman, moments away from an anxiety attack because he was so nervous that this would ruin everything. His eyes shut tight, ready to be rejected, and flying open when he heard Roman’s soft laugh. Roman taking his hand and telling him, “I love you for the person you are. Not the body you’re in. So I have a libido and you don’t, it doesn’t matter. I’m perfectly fine being best friends with my left hand for the rest of my life.” Virgil had turned red, and Roman had laughed and kissed his forehead before they turned back to watch Mulan.

Virgil: He always said he had no problem with it, that his left hand would be his best friend, and me being comfortable was more important than anything

Virgil: I guess he changed his mind

Virgil: I’m just done

Virgil: I’m sick of people thinking they can handle this and breaking my fucking heart when they realize they can’t

Virgil: I’m done with relationships

He knew this was a lot. He knew it wasn’t fair to dump this on Logan, the one person he knew who didn’t really do emotions, but he was the person who was here, and Virgil needed to get this out before he exploded. Or did something worse. The little box in the drawer of his bedside table sang to him, and he was acutely aware of where it was in proximity to his body, as if it was all that existed outside of his immediate bubble.

Logan: Wait, was this specifically about sexuality?

Logan: Sometimes people think they can handle dating asexual people, and they realize what it entails.

Logan: I'm sorry, but I have to sleep soon. I'm heading to Bakersfield tomorrow. Stay safe and don't do anything irrational please.

Logan: Text me tomorrow.

Virgil: Ok

Virgil shut his laptop, staring up at the ceiling. He felt numb. He felt like he was being washed away by the ocean, like he was drowning. He felt like he was being torn apart and burned alive and so many other things he couldn’t describe.

He grabbed the box.

‘Don’t do anything irrational’.

Loving someone as perfect as Roman was irrational.

He let out a shaky sigh as the small glass shard split his skin.

He falls apart.

#prinxiety #platonic analogical #analogical #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #depression #mentions of self-harm #breakups #sanders sides fanfic

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dewprisms · 6 years ago

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ok so, it’s been a day, i think i’m ready to collect my thoughts on KH3

where to begin....the plot I guess?

So what....even happened. like, Xehanort seems to have done a change on why he’s doing all this, but i’ve seen examples that it’s not far-fetched but idk it just seems like poor writing if “i love darkness” xehanort was really trying to bring back the light...there’s stuff that never got explained with so many characters too so i’ll just

sora: him hiding his pain was always implied but a lot of people really are too dumb to realize that and called him OoC in this game, like Coded and DDD were leading up to all this. I joked that he died but then it turns out he really did fucking die. and then he died again to bring back kairi. and now he’s in shibuya??? do i gotta play twewy now cause i dont care about that game

riku: why did they not let him interact with kairi. why. their relationship got shafted hard. its like, are they even really friends anyway? or just with sora? the soriku in this game was strong af despite being the one where sokai was made canon

kairi: GOD WHERE DO I BEGIN Kairi I’m so fucking sorry Nomura did all this shit to you. Hype you up with keyblade training. helping with the final battle. then what happened? needing rescue, everyone getting hurt because you need saving. getting your ass beat by xion (at least in my game, jfc she died faster than donald ever did), getting kidnapped immediately after, again. then GETTING KILLED BY XEHANORT SO SORA CAN HAVE HIS MAN PAIN then having Sora die so he could bring Kairi back so she can cry about being lonely. why the FUCK isn’t she the one looking for him, why are they having Riku do it? why does nomura fucking hate her. she deserves better than this. i’ll never be over this even if Kairi gets redeemed in every subsequent game. they fucked up real bad with her and I’m so fucking pissed off.

roxas: my boy. where is the convo about him and ven. we just saw them notice each other but no words exchanged. this is the guy who’s been having an identity crisis since he was born. and nothing at all? come on.

xion: my girl her new outfit is so gosh darn f r e s h like damn son. but, why is she back? why was she with the orgxiii? how did they even get her when she was inside sora’s heart???

lea: i still dont like him. he kidnapped kairi and hurt her friends and he makes kairi call him axel, the name he had when he did all that, so he could project his faded memories of xion onto her. he was abusive to xion and roxas, i knew they were gonna reunite because they’re friends but he NEEDS to apologize for what he did to them, the constant lying, attacking xion because she ran away from her abusive situation because he didn’t want to be lonely, and the writers turned his threat into a heartwarming scene? no fuck that. everyone forgave him for everything far too easily.

isa: APOLOGIZE TO ROXAS AND XION TOO YOU FUCK. especially xion. now he’s suddenly friends with them? fuck that. he needs to make up for how he treated them.

x: it would’ve been great if they had brought her up in days, it just comes so out of left field that isa and lea were trying to find and save some girl who’s name they dont even know. why the fuck is Skuld even in the present, cause that’s likely who she is. more forced ties to the money hungry gacha game i can’t bear myself to leave.

ven: my son, i have nothing bad to say about him

terra: my son, i’m surprised the guardian = terra’s heartless theory was true, and like damn, he got messed up so bad his heart, body AND soul/mind got split? but, where was his interactions with riku. he did bequeath his keyblade to him. but nothing is said between them, they don’t even interact outside of a small race in the ending.

aqua: why do people say they wrote her bad? i mean yeah she just immediately gave up against the heartless swarm instead of fighting it but she was trapped in the realm of darkness and taken over by the darkness for 10 years like just a few hours before hand.....she still got off pretty good in the end.

namine: i swear i was worried they forgot about her, she helped LW find terranort which brought terra back, and she came back. that ending? she and xion are def dating.

replica riku: replinami is fucking canon i dont care what you say. im still sad, he could’ve had the replica body anyway, it was implied there were many more, and even could’ve just made more. roxas and ven, and kairi/namine/xion can exist despite being identical, why can’t he and riku?

demyx: what the hell even happened to him? he dropped off the replica body and ansem the wise then disappeared from the rest of the game. we legit have no clue what happened to him. all we know is that he got benched from the nort 13, then xemnas confirmed he was also a keykid in the age of fairytales, but even khux hasn’t revealed that yet, larxene just got revealed like 2 months ago. i feel like him being revealed as a keykid should have jossed the theory of him being the master of masters but people still going at it. then again....(far below)

luxord: also a keykid even though he looks too old (prob the beard), his characterization seems to be in line with days, how he resigned to his fate that he was just gonna serve the org til the end because he had nothing left. also what the hell was that “wild card” he gave to sora, it never got brought up again.

marluxia: he also forgot his past like them all too, only remembering when sora beat him. i’m guessing he’ll never find strelitzia, she was in the final world too so she’s def dead. although namine was there too.....

larxene: god i love this absolute bitch. saying “ugh xemnas” to his face is such bad bitch energy. all of her scenes were so good. she only went along because of marluxia though....and yet neither of them remembered their past as keykids but stuck together anyway. they’re canon hush.

ienzo: what a good boy. he’s really trying hard to atone.

vexen: i’ll admit i didn’t trust him, but he was sincere in wanting to repent.

aeleus/dilan: lmao the former got like 1 line and the latter got like 1 grunt and nothing else. they were just kinda there. weird considering what Xaldin was like in 2/days.

ansem sod: uh.....what was with the attempted redemption in his defeat, literally nothing ever implied he was wanting to quit because he suddenly always knew they would fail

xemnas: same as ansem, literally nothing implied he was sad over being lonely because nobody actually liked him or his authority

young xehanort: imagined getting burned by freakin woody of all people. also what was his deal. he’s like the only one who didn’t get some kind of sad or redeeming cutscene. and he was the one who implied sora would die if he abused the power of waking outta nowhere. idk, something about him seemed off compared to like. every other nort.

donald and goofy: donald straight up decimated Terranort in the first/failure timeline, like dude literally died from zettaflare

Mickey: I wish he had died instead of Kairi :/ just because she was already being treated like shit

Eraqus: He apologized to Aqua and Ven but not Terra :/ at least he’s with his boyfriend in the afterlife

Xehanort: All the fights were easy as shit and the finale was anticlimatic. I actually like him less because of the fucking Kairi bullshit. Also his new VA just doesn’t work. He suddenly has an accent, his voice is nowhere near as deep and he lacks emotion in most of his lines. And people thought Terra and Aqua’s voices were emotionless? At least Xehaqus is canon ig

braig/xigbar/luxu’s getting his own post

#kh3 spoilers /#kingdom hearts 3 spoilers /#kh spoilers /#kingdom hearts spoilers /#khIII spoilers /#kingdom hearts III spoilers /#playing: kingdom hearts #long post /

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