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prickly-bulbasaur · 1 year

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Atem's Last Adventure

Yugi was nervous, but it was nothing compared to the ache in his heart knowing that his spiritual friend Atem, who had been with him for several years, would have to leave now that Zorc Monster was defeated and return to the Shadow Realm.

Yugi, for the hundredth time, stop overthinking. It is hard enough for me to say goodbye soon when you flood me with your thoughts and emotions.

“S-Sorry. You and I have been together for years ever since I solved the Millennium Puzzle and I see you as a big brother of sorts. Hard to say goodbye to someone who is like family.”

A big brother? Atem chuckled as he gave it some thought. I guess that fits considering all the trouble you and our friends seem to get into.

“Hey! A good portion of it was because of your reincarnated enemies!” Yugi yelled back, huffing as he put on the choker. “Luckily, now that you have your memories you remembered a spell that lets others see you for 24 hours.” Yugi chuckled lowly, causing Atem to sweat nervously as his host blocked his ‘thoughts’. “You know Teia will be using that to her fullest.”

Atem chuckled nervously, aware that she was a plan demon and would create an entire itinerary in one day.

—

“You two are late!” Teia yelled, glaring at Yugi and Atem while Joey and Tristan snickered behind her, pointing at the duo. Yugi apologized profusely while Atem just gave an eye twitch of annoyance. “What took you so long?!”

“We happened to run into Kaiba and Mokuba on the way here,” Yugi said, removing his shoes before sitting on the picnic blanket. “He was saying goodbye to Atem in his own…unique way.”

Joey snorted and laughed. “If you mean giving a long-winded speech about losing one of his rivals and having a slight ego trip, then yeah, then that sounds like Kaiba all right! Always complicates things.”

“True but in a way it is refreshing. The Seto I knew had the same persona, and he was a dear friend to me. He may be crass, but Seto has a pure heart.” Atem replied and sat next to Yugi before being handed the sandwiches and drink. “So after this what do we have planned?”

Teia smiled. “Well, after this we will go to the amusement park, then shopping though I know it will be pointless since you won’t be able to take the items home, but there are a few outfits on sale I need to get, then the movies will be after this followed by dinner…” She continued to list everything in her planner, again causing Yugi and Atem to sweat nervously, and Joey and Tristan fell asleep within a minute of her monologue. “Then we can take an hour to two break before the night festivities in Kyoto before watching the sunrise at the Shrine!”

“Teia, we are supposed to give Atem a fun time not run him ragged,” Joey replied after waking up. “Besides, there are things we want to do with him, it wouldn’t be fair if we just use your list. I mean, I want to show him one of the best eating joints where I haven’t even shown Yugi yet.”

“Joey’s right, we should be mindful of others' choices, including Atem’s. After all, he will have to leave in a few days.”

The mood suddenly changed to something somber, their hearts aching at the thought of their friend leaving. They may not have known Atem as long as Yugi, but they have had so many adventures together that he was one of them.

Joey suddenly chuckled, remembering the day they officially met Yugi’s Alter Ego. “Remember the first time we met?”

Tristen snapped his fingers at the memory. “That’s right! We’d been trapped in our favorite cards by Yami Bakura and that was when we got introduced to Atem, or at that time Yugi’s Alter Ego.” Everyone chuckled at the remembrance.

“Yeah, a complete surprise to us all. Talk about a difference in personalities, and height! Itte!” Joey hissed in pain as Yugi slapped him in the back of his head, huffing at the height jab. He glared at Yugi before grabbing him in a light choke hold, bringing him close, and noogied his head. “You are the runt of the group, Yugi, even Yami/Atem here is a few inches taller!”

Everyone laughed as Yugi struggled to get free from Joey’s grasp before finally being released, huffing and glaring at the offender before laughing himself. “Yeah, it was definitely a weird experience, and feeling the magic of the cards was interesting. Atem protected us as much as possible too when our lives were put in a dangerous situation.”

“Don’t remind me,” Joey shuddered as he remembered almost disappearing from life and the Shadow Realm. “I was seconds away from that Reaper taking my soul. Monster Reborn was the Ace I didn’t know I needed.”

“Too bad it didn’t help improve your intelligence.” Tristen snickered, before leaning back as Joey went bighead.

“HEY!!”

Everyone laughed again at the interaction, and Atem was smiling at the familial rivalry the duo had, again reminding him of the rivalry between him and his cousin Seto a millennia ago. They battled constantly to improve their abilities to summon monsters, rivals even to this era.

“You know,” Atem sighed, getting the attention of his friends. “This has been an amazing adventure. From meeting Yugi and helping with not-so-normal duels, getting to know everyone and rediscovering my name, to saving the world from a millennia-sealed monster, I can’t think of anything more fun than dealing with challenges alongside my friends.”

“Hell yeah!” Joey agreed. “It beats a normal life any day!”

“Well, it beats my old life that's for sure.” Yugi looked down as he remembered the bullying in middle school. “I never had any friends until I solved the puzzle. You gave me the courage to stand up for what I believe in. I am blessed to have the friends that I have now and will have in the future.”

Atem’s lips slightly wobbled as an emotion tried to escape him before putting a hand on Yugi’s shoulder. “Well, now you have friends to continue your adventure. Mine will be in another Realm, but no matter what I will always have you all in my heart.”

Everyone hugged Atem, nearly crushing his ribcage from their monster strength. “I-I don’t think I want to enter the Realm this way, guys…”

Again everyone laughed before Teia looked at her watch and squeaked, yelling at them to finish and pack up before the movie started. She may not have been using all of her itinerary, but she was not going to let him miss the movie, no matter what.

#flufftober2023 #flufftober #yugioh #day 2 #friendsfamilylovedones

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blkkizzat · 4 months

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I've been following your blog for a while now, and I hope this isn't weird to ask but I think you may have the best answer since you're an amazing writer. My friend has been taking down their works and giving up on telling others they even write fics because they feel no one likes their writing. They think this because when they ask for feedback it's silence. They keep comparing themselves to other writers and I feel bad they don't believe they're a great writer. As a writer did you ever have these feelings or do you have them now at certain times? I just want to be a good friend and motivate them to keep writing.

Oh wow. Well first, thank you so much! That really makes me happy you 1) like my writing so much but 2) even coming to me with this question!

(this is a long reply sorry lol but two parts, advice for friend and then my own personal insecurities)

Advice for your friend:

First, who your friend is asking? Are they asking on their blog or to a group chat or dms to others? Even though it shouldn't seem like it asking for feedback on your blog is probably the worst way. People rarely even reblog nowadays so asking them to take the time to comment and give something meaningful isn't likely going to happen (also people could feel shy too!).

However, I would tell your friend to reach out to people who regularly interact with their content the most and ask them if they would beta read or provide feedback. It may seem a bit intimidating to ask especially if they don't know them but if the person is liking their content that much I'm sure they would be flattered at the ask. Or start interacting with other writers more whose work they do like. I wouldn't ask right off the back for tips and feedback but if they begin chatting with them regularly and become mutuals then it'd be okay to then ask. A lot of writers, myself included, love talking about writing.

But at the end of the day tell your friend to write for their own satisfaction in their own perspective. My thing is if it don't make me, cry, laugh, horny or any of the main emotions I want to feel while writing it I keep working on it. It's my fic and I can't get anyone to feel an emotion if I don't feel it when I am writing/reading it back. Thats also what gets me out of my funk cause I tell myself I will continue to work on it until i do like it.

I'm not saying here to not care about interactions (cause everyone wants feedback) but to just write until you personally feel good about it and to be honest about when that is. You will feel a lot better about the work you do put out when you write for your preferences alone and I feel more people respond to that as well. Even when taking requests, sure people are asking for something but at the end of the day they are asking for your version of it still. People don't want to read you trying to be someone else they want to read you! Think of it like this. Never doubt your idea. Your plot is rarely the problem because we all end up recycling similar ideas, nothing is revolutionary here. As far as technical skill you can improve your writing by being more descriptive, using a variety of different words (use word lists for smut/feeliings/etc), and tapping more into how the characters are feeling in the moment. About my insecurities:

I feel like its natural to be your own worst critic and I am definitely mine. You are never going to view yourself or your work as others view it which is a shame because I feel like people wouldn't struggle so much with insecurities if they could honestly tap into others true thoughts of them at will.

About mid-fic is where I notoriously hate every single fic I write and have to will myself to push through to finish it. I love writing but working on one story at a time can be fatiguing so I tend to work on multiple. That way if I am stuck and hating something, I can hop to another and give my brain a break as I am usually overthinking it/too deep in it and need to step back.

I honestly don't compare the quality of my work to others as I do like my style as much as the frequency of work I do. I am a very slow writer and I write in a very non linear fashion where I write sections and then weave them together and then comb over them 3-4 times before moving on to the next part and jump around. It stuns me how some writers say they never re-read their work because I will reread 10x times tweaking things here and there until my OCD is satisfied and I'm happy with it. I definitely get envious of writers who can just pump out quality fics like hot cakes and post multiple times a week. I'm lucky to get 1-2 done in a month haha. Especially frustrating when I have a ton of ideas (like almost 30 fic ideas currently) I'm dying to write and like 5+ half written fics cause I keep jumping around lol. To top it off I'm more of a descriptive writer so a fic being under 5k to me is a miracle lol.

I love reading others fanfics too (what inspired me to write in the first place!) but sometimes I have feel guilty and not been able to really enjoy because I'm like "I'm reading these when I could be writing mine and i have like 10 requests sitting in my inbox on top of that lol."

Clearly I'm long winded af cause I did not mean for this to be this long either lol. But I hope you got something from this that can help your friend. Keep being encouraging to them! I'm glad they have you in their corner!

#super sweet anons 🥹💖#kizzatanswers #kizzatanons #this gave me a push i needed to continue my fics as well!#my most popular fic took me 3 months to write cause I took breaks and wrote other things in between #so slow and steady if you need #or take it faster if you feel thats better #whatever feels best!

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accio-victuuri · 3 years

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CPN : the never ending Ximalaya saga Part V. 🍫

for bxgs only. not real at all.

(a sexy xiao zhan silhouette invites you in)

✿The Episode in question is Episode 123 uploaded on 1/20 at 8:05 AM. Bobo’s magical time. Lol. Then at 10:30, it was replaced with a different topic: Where are the flies in winter. 11:18 it returned to the Original episode 123. It took some time to take down the Audio and re upload it too. So what happened? He made a mistake, Bobo said those who sleep 8 hours have weaker bodies instead of 4.

CPN is:

1. It took 48 minutes to edit the sentence, meaning it was not a professional ( who works for xmly)

2. They can delete it entirely and re-record, but looks like Bobo wanted to keep the 8:05 time stamp. so they opted to just edit it.

3. During that Day, Bobo was at work from 8:30 to around 7:00 in the evening so he can’t be on his phone too much.

4. GG was the one who noticed the error and so he gave them the heads up. After all, he is allegedly using the same account. He also may have edited it personally and inserted the correct line. A clue for that is that the BGM ( for that episode ) used is a paid download from After Effects, a commonly used video production software. and GG’s recent Ace Troops last episode video used the same software.

Also, what else happened this date 1/20/2022? Yibo posted an Ad for Chunzhen at 10:04, and then Chunzhen posted it 10:05. Which is GG’s number. Same day last year, 1/20/2021, Mengniu posted about their new Ambassador Xiao Zhan. These 2 companies are under the same umbrella. Coincidence?

Now how about “123”. The most recent one we can recall was his Abby’s Choice fanmeet, he was asked to pick a number and he immediately said 123.

✿ Episode 101 posting time is 10:05 and the topic was about how “Starfish” eats. Starfish = Patrick = Spongebob. Which is their favorite. Episode 93, which is about how do stars “twinkle” posted 19:33 ( 33 is zhan zhan ). Star = Lonely Star = Kepler. ✨

There are other examples that I didn’t include cause it’s too 🤔 for me. It’s like as long as you clown hard enough, every post can have a cpn meaning. For example, Episode 107 was about cats and praising them — did he find that interesting because of Jianguo or it was just part of the list that he had to record? Who knows. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Another one is Episode 105 is about the slowest growing tree = The biggest feature of this type of tree is that it grows very slowly. It only grows 30 cm in 100 years. So GG’s magic number : 105 and 30 again ( GG’s age ). Some of us are just really sensitive with numbers and possible cpn connections 😂

✿ Episode 76, which is a other one that was uploaded and then deleted. Then the next day, it’s available again. No edits. The topic is what got us 👀 >> Human beings will not mature until 30 years old? . Who is 30 years old? GG. And the time stamp is 1947, in Kadian means I have a lifetime to love you.

NOTE: I’m late for this cause while doing the draft I had a feeling it was too cpn-y. lol. I was overthinking to the point that I can’t continue working on it. This is fun clowning and we’re not implying things about their professionalism. they both work hard. they have responsible teams - ybo & xzs that makes sure things go smoothly for them. the thought is, gg looks at web’s stuff, like the podcast so he noticed and since he cares, he’s open to help out if he can. It’s not like he cleans up after yibo or anything. or that he is somehow yibo’s keeper. I think him doing stuff like this is his love language to Yibo. That’s all. 🤍

sources:

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4728071578454702?

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4727891683968173?

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4727666093855021?

#bjyx #yizhan #clowning and cpn bye #cpn thoughts

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soyouthinkucanwrite · 3 years

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The money thing (part 1/2) - Daniel Ricciardo

It's always the little things, isn't it? The smallest stupidest things make almost no difference and then make all the difference in the world. They make everything special, but they also have the power to tear everything appart.

You and Daniel fight about money for the thousand time and he's had enough of it.

Warnings: super angst, but with a happy ending :)

Guys, this turned out WAY BIGGER than I expected, so I'm just gonna do a part 2, okay? Okay, thanks for understanding!

Song that inspired me: A list by HVOB

You and Daniel had been dating for a couple months now, having met through a common friend and hitting off almost instantly. You lived in Amsterdam and he, well he lived all over the world really, but his "time off" (meaning not racing) was spent between Monaco and London (for work), and Amsterdam now too, of course.

The changes were small and subtle at the beginning, like your weekends being spent traveling to meet him wherever in the world he was and consequently spending almost all your savings on plane tickets. You never complained to him (you planned on spending the money traveling anyway, so you didn't see the point), but didn't accept when he offered to buy your tickets, either. There's been some awkwardness around the subject but it usually died on its own.

*beginning of flashback*

"You’d have gotten here in time if you'd gotten the early flight like I told you" you remembered him saying that time you got in the paddock after the qualifying session had begun and couldn’t kiss him good luck.

"Baby, I told you. It was crazy expensive! Absurd even!"

"(y/n) for god's sake! What are we saving money for? I told you, you have my credit card number, I've offered to get you one, this is ridiculous, I can't believe I literally earn millions and my girlfriend wasn't there with me because the ticket was too expensive! I'll fucking fly you private if I have to!" he was almost yelling in his driver's room. You could only stare from the corner.

He took a deep breath running his hands through his hair. "Sorry. It's just... it was crap out there. I needed you" you grimaced at his words.

"Sorry. I really am..." you tried to approach him. "I'm here now?" you touched his arm. "It can't have been that bad, you're still on the top 10 and we both know what you can do from the 8th car..." you smiled at him.

*end of flashback*

He started to spend much more of his time off with you at your place, so you decided to get a place by yourself (having a roommate was great for company and splitting the rent, but having a roommate there while you guys just wanted some much-needed privacy was not working). Then there were more traveling to meet him, furniture for the new place, clothing for all the events (GPs or not), uber rides here and there... all of that without mentioning that you weren't being able to get the freelance jobs you used to get to make some extra money, so yeah, to say things were tight was an understatement. You tried to do all your shopping alone, so he wouldn't offer and you wouldn't refuse or be awkward about it, but Daniel seem to be glued to you whenever you were in the same city (not that you’re complaining).

The thing is, you always had trouble dealing with money. Sure, you liked to pay for your own stuff so as to not owe anything to anyone (especially boys), but it was so much deeper than that. Ever since a kid, you hated asking for money from your parents, and sometimes even the thought of buying stuff that was a bit more expensive made you sick. You couldn't explain why, you just felt guilty having so much and knowing that most people have never even seen that amount. It's not that you didn't want to spend it and save for the sake of it, you just didn't handle the idea of money very well. Needless to say, dating a millionnaire was bound to cause trouble in the relationship for you.

You were currently at his place in Monaco. It was the summer break and you had decided to spend some days just chilling at home, just the two of you - which you were glad since going out means hair, makeup, clothes, accessories, shoes... and, let's be honest, the kind of places he usually took you is not the kind of places you just throw something together last minute (the Instagram models and other driver's girlfriends looking you up and down were enough to make you think about spending money you did not have to hire a stylist or something like that). The whole situation was really stressing you out and you knew you would have to be honest with him eventually, instead of only dodging the subject and refusing most of his offers to pay. You tried to. You kind of tried. You suggested staying at home, in bed, most of the time, and he gladly agreed, but that strategy wasn't gonna work forever. You had to be honest with him. But at the same time, you knew what he was going to say and do, and the thought of him spending money on you, even if just by handling the restaurant bill, wasn't something you were much more comfortable with. Besides, it was only a matter of time before the "gold-digger" term starts to fly around in the small world that was the F1's.

You were laying on his couch, the Olympics playing on the TV but you were too busy overthinking the money thing to pay attention. Daniel was laying with his head on your lap, absently caressing your thigh and watching the TV. His phone went off and he moved to pick it up.

"Hello?" you watched as he answered the phone. "Hey mate, how's it going? Uh nothing, we're just chilling at home. Getting some rest... Yeah, I'm getting rested, you dirty-minded son of a bitch" you rolled your eyes while he laughed out loud on the line with someone. "Yeah, I know... the 19th is it? No, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'll be there. Alright, mate. Thanks for calling. Have a good one! Bye!" he hanged up and leaned in to peck you on the lips.

"Good news?" you asked him.

"Not really. Just wanted to kiss you" he shrugged, smiling. You smiled back and hugged him, pulling him in for another kiss. He was always so caring with you, always finding an excuse to kiss or touch you. You knew some people didn't like it, but you loved it. Physical touch was definitely one of your love languages.

"What's happening on the 19th then?" you asked him once you guys set apart from the kiss.

"Gotta be in London. Gonna run some testings and other boring race stuff..."

"Hum..." you hummed in understanding.

"You know what would make it less boring though?" he asked and you just looked at him, you already knew what he was going to ask you and it wasn't that you didn't want to spend every minute of the day with him, but you simply couldn't afford any more traveling, especially not in such short notice. "If you came with me. Huh? What do you say? A week in the Queen's land? Then we can fly together to Spa and after the race, I can go with you to Amsterdam. The next one it's the Dutch GP anyway, I'll just get there sooner" he laughed. It was crushing you, the man of your dreams was literally beaming at making plans with you, talking about spending the next few weeks glued together and you couldn't say yes.

"Dan, I have to work" you smiled sadly.

"Can't you work from distance? Or, I don't know, I mean... I know it's tiring, but you could come to London and fly home a bit early, then just meet me in Belgium?" great, his solution includes even more flying. And the thing is, you really didn't mind the flying. You always slept during the whole thing anyway, so you never got tired and the jetlag was minimal. You could work from distance, sure. Your boss wouldn't mind, as long as you got there eventually to check in on everything. But the whole logistics were just too expensive. There was no way you could afford it.

"I... sorry, I don't think I can" you said sadly and watched as his face dropped.

"That's fine, baby. I get it. I'm asking too much, all this traveling... don't worry about it" he tried to mask his emotions but you knew better. He knew you could in fact work from distance, so he was probably thinking the reason you couldn't do it was because you didn't want to.

He got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. Meanwhile, you couldn't help but bury your face in your palms. This was so frustrating!

"You wanna go for a run or something? Maybe get something to eat?" he called from the kitchen, already moving on from the subject. You knew this whole thing was only gonna keep build up till he got tired of your excuses or you blowing up, probably the former, but you just keep going.

"Yeah, sure" you answered, getting up from the couch.

You and Daniel were both very active so going for a run, hiking, riding bikes, or whatever in the middle of the day was really routine for you. The Monaco summer weather was as beautiful as always and the sun was shining bright. You enjoyed the rest of your afternoon racing each other, kissing in the harbor, and just taking in the views, spending quality time together. Money wasn't even a thing in your bubble for a while.

"I'm getting hungry" he said on the way back home.

"Me too, and I'm super hot. I could go for a juice or something right now" you were all sweaty from the running, but you didn't care, he was too.

"You're always hot baby, I don't think juice gonna help with that" he grinned at you and you just rolled your eyes at him.

You passed by one of his favorite spots for food, nearby his place and he suggested getting some take-out, to which you agreed.

"Green juice, and a chicken wrap?" you tried to decide while the both of you waited in line.

"I'll never understand how you drink that"

"I've seen you drink that too, it's actually very refreshing"

"Because I'm forced to, I'm a high-performance athlete baby. But I'm on a break, so I'll have a coke, thank you very much" you laughed at him. He was holding your hand and tried to kiss you, wrapping his arm around you, you didn't dodge his kiss, you would never, but still laughed at the fact he wanted to kiss the sweaty mess you were right now.

"I'm gross, only you" you laughed.

"That's my baby, with no makeup she a ten" he rapped shrugging and grinning.

"Alright Lil Wayne, I know that one, don't even finish the verse" you laughed at him, making him laugh out loud, getting everyone's in the restaurant's attention.

"It's true, though"

"Sure..." You just shook your head smiling. Then you heard someone call his name.

"Hey! Daniel!" you both turned around to see Charles and Charlotte sitting in a corner, him waving at you two. You had met Charles a couple of times before but never spoke too much to him. They seemed to be leaving anyway, so they walked towards you guys, instead of towards the door.

"Hey mate, how's it going?" Daniel greeted him with a handshake. "Hey, Charlotte! You know (y/n) yet?"

"Hi! I don't think so, hi! How are you?" she greeted you smiling.

"Hi! Nice to meet you. Hi, Charles!" you said.

"Hey, (y/n). You're keeping him in line during the break? Char won't let me cheat my diet either" he laughed.

"Oh, that ship has sailed long ago! Daniel will just roll into the paddock if it's up to him" you laughed back.

"Hey! I think I've earned the right to some extra calories, we've been working out extra hard lately" Daniel said waving his eyebrows suggestively, making Charlotte giggle, Charles rolls his eyes and you go even redder than you were from the actual workout, while he just laughed out loud.

"I don't even want to know" Charles said. "Always great running into you mate" he was getting ready to say goodbye.

"Are we seeing you guys tomorrow?" Charlotte asked you.

"Tomorrow?" you asked her.

"Stefano's birthday" she said like it was obvious. Stefano Domenicali was the President and CEO of Formula 1, but you didn't know that yet - still, her tone made it seems like it was someone Daniel knew, so you just looked at him. He just rubbed his neck, looking a little embarrassed. "Oh, wait. Please tell me I didn't just said something I shouldn't" she looked at Charles.

"No, no. He invited me. Us, actually" Daniel reassured her. "I don't think we're going though, forgot to mention to you" he said looking at you.

"Uh mate, I wouldn't skip that if I were you. He didn't even invite all the drivers I heard" Charles said. "Maybe just stop by to say hello?"

"Stop by... a yacht... at the sea?" Charlotte said grinning at him. Daniel looked at you.

"You feel like going? It should be fun" he asked you.

"Sounds fancy... I mean, I don't mind if you go" you said.

"Common... I’m not going alone" he nudged you.

"I don't even have anything to wear, Dan" you told him.

"Oh! We can go shopping together!" Charlotte said and you had almost forgotten they were still there.

"Perfect!" Daniel answered for you. You could only imagine the types of stores she shopped.

"Tomorrow morning, then? Daniel can text your address to Charles for me? I'll pick you up!" she was being really nice about it.

"I thought you wanted to go today?" Charles said.

"That's when I thought I would have to go shopping with you, so I could use the extra time since you're the worst shopping partner ever!" she laughed at him.

"Burn!" Daniel laughed.

"His fashion taste is not the most reliable, let's face it" she laughed and kissed his cheek. "It's a date then (y/n)?" she looked expectantly at you. You didn't want to let her down, it was so hard to make friends with the girlfriends of other drivers, they were usually so... not nice. You could always just help her and find something to wear in your own stuff later.

"Yeah, sure! See you tomorrow, at 10?" you said simply.

"Perfect!" she beamed.

>>> end of part 1 <<<

#daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo fanfic #Daniel ricciardo fluff #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo fic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic

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adhd-asd · 3 years

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Anonymous asked: "i have ADHD and ASD, I don’t know if they really play a role in my difficulty to write scripts or outlines, but it seems like whenever i want to start a story project and visualise it into writing and art, it just…..doesn’t work? Like, i have story ideas, but the way they come out never meet my satisfaction or, at least, the way i write them, feels too restricting and….i don’t know?

writing scripts, the dialogue feels very bland and tedious - writing outlines is fine for me but i put too much thought into them to the point they are restricting. but, also, when i try to make up a story as i go with a basic plot in mind, i lose a massive sense of direction if i don’t have an outline or script. and i just feel very, very stuck."

If you're just looking for a short-form list of tips and tricks that might help make creating easier, I have a post here that offers advice on writing with ADHD that you may find helpful.

However, I found this question really interesting and wanted to do a more in-depth exploration of the topic of creating with ADHD/ASD and the difficulties that can come with that, as well. I have a lot of thoughts on the topic as an ADHD/ASD creator myself, so it got quite long, but I hope you might find some of them interesting or useful.

Do ADHD/ASD Play a Role?

Firstly, I believe that my ADHD and ASD affect just about every part of my life, including my creative process, and I imagine the same is likely true for you. It's entirely plausible (and I would even say likely) that they're playing a part in the conflict you feel when trying to create.

That being said, I also believe that there are ways we can accommodate or work around our unique challenges rather than putting effort into trying to overcome them or letting them get us down. I also don't think your difficulties are exclusively a result of ADHD/ASD, either, and I'll be discussing both points in more detail below.

On Meeting Your Own Expectations

I think, at least to some extent, your first paragraph could apply to most creators, regardless of ADHD/ASD.

Very rarely do I find that my works end up matching what I visualise in my mind, and it can often be frustrating and demotivating when what I produce seems inferior to the hypothetical version I had planned or envisioned. And I've seen this same sentiment expressed by a lot of artists and writers.

When those feelings crop up, I try to remind myself that it's okay, nobody else has seen the hypothetical 'perfect version' of what I was trying to create that's in my mind, and they'll be judging the work on its own merits instead. I think an important part of being a creator is consciously working on accepting that things will almost never go exactly as envisioned, and that's okay. It's not a reason to abandon the work, and the more you keep creating, the more practice you'll have getting your ideas down.

It's definitely easier said than done, but as with all creative pursuits, feeling beholden to perfection will ultimately prevent you from getting anything done or growing as a creator, and sometimes you have to just let things go and keep moving forward. A work doesn't have to be perfect to have value and be worthy of praise.

On Perfectionism

All that being said, I wouldn't be at all surprised if your ADHD and ASD were compounding on this common experience to a degree. It's very common for people with ASD to be inflexible and extremely detail-oriented, and many an ADHDer can struggle with perfectionism (which I've briefly discussed in the second half of this post). Falling into the trap of obsessively tweaking things until they're just right is pretty easy.

The good news is that I think when you're aware that these are pitfalls you're likely to experience, you can better notice them and implement measures to help you work around them. Better understanding your symptoms and being kind to yourself when you experience them can make the situation less hostile, and researching how to cope with/compensate for them could help not only with your creative process, but other areas of life as well.

On Finding Your Creative Process

A big part of creating is finding a process that works for you.

Some people plan in meticulous detail while others fly by the seat of their pants; some prepare outlines and tough drafts and follow the steps in order and others bounce around and make it up as they go.

From the way you're describing things, it sounds like your current process isn't working for you, and you may benefit from changing your approach to creating entirely. You already seem to be consciously aware of the parts that are causing the most difficulty and frustration for you, so the next step is to brainstorm how to modify them to make your creativity more accessible to you.

I, for example, write scenes out of order and constantly go back and add to them as I get new ideas. I also draw my lineart in random sections, moving on to a new one anytime I get bored (even if the current section isn't finished) until it eventually comes together like a patchwork quilt. These are some ways I've found to keep things interesting and keep me engaged in the work, and they may seem weird, but they sure do work!

So Let's Do Some Brainstorming

If you overthink your outlines and then feel stifled by them, try deliberately limiting how much detail you allow yourself to include. It's not an 'all or nothing' situation, and you can practise and experiment with varying document layouts and amounts of detail until you've found something that feels more approachable.

If you're currently writing paragraphs, try bullet points, or a flow chart, or sticky notes that you can rearrange. If you plot out every detail, try starting with only the most major events so you always have some direction for where the story is going but still allow for more freedom and creativity. If you spend hours on an outline, try setting a timer so you only have a set amount of time for each point.

And remember that you can change your outline as you go! If you're so caught up in following your outline that it's stifling your creativity, maybe it's an issue of perspective rather than process. Remind yourself that your outline is a tool to help you and that you're free to adjust it whenever it's not serving its purpose.

I don't know what your current process looks like so maybe these specific examples aren't helpful to you, but hopefully they can illustrate how to look at the areas where you're getting stuck and find a way to change them so that they suit your needs. Even if it seems unconventional or doesn't align with the process other people use or have told you to use, it's important to do what works for you.

In Summary / TL;DR

Creativity in general often comes down to experimenting until you find a method/process/style that works for you, and that's true for anyone. It's also true that art rarely goes exactly as planned, and sometimes you just have to accept that you've done well enough and move on.

But when you're a creator with ADHD/ASD, it can be extra difficult to do so because of our unique challenges related to internal motivation, perfectionism, and staying focused and flexible. Being aware of your symptoms and the challenges that they might present, and specifically tailoring your workspace and process to account for them while being kind to yourself when you find yourself struggling, can allow you to create with a lot less frustration.

None of these changes will happen instantaneously, but hopefully being aware of them and making the effort over time will help you to start seeing a difference in your work. Good luck!

#adhd #asd #actually adhd #actually autistic #autism #Brady answers #tips

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thevirgodoll · 4 years

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hi! i was wondering if you have any tips to stay organized and stay on task? i’ve been doing a short online course this year and have really struggled to ACTUALLY bring myself to do the work, as assignments and lessons are not under any time constraints i just don’t do it. i also have adhd so get bored or distracted easily. do you have any tips for me?

This is really close to me because I also have ADHD. I have both inattentive and hyperactive type. *As a result, this academic tip guide will be a guide for people with ADHD and not neurotypical people, without disability. There is a difference.*

I am doing online as well this semester.

1. I create a schedule. If I do not create a schedule, I will be unproductive the entire day. So, what will help you is to do things in orderly fashion.

For example, at 12p - I will do this assignment/watch this lecture. You have to dictate what time you’re doing everything. Then, you also have to block out technology distractions while you are working.

-> Even if you’ve gotten halfway through the day with no schedule, write down or block off times on your digital calendar for what you are going to do at each time. ADHD is easier to tackle if you break things down into smaller tasks.

*Pro tip that I almost forgot: before you do anything, wear your day clothes. Don’t wear pajamas. Actually getting dressed or even doing hair/makeup changes things.

2. Download the Forest app after you have created your schedule. I consistently recommend this because it works in increasing productivity. It allows you to set it for however long you’re doing this task, say 30 minutes.

-> Why?: It will block all apps on your phone for (insert time here) to plant a tree, and if you leave the app your “tree” will die. Eventually, the more sessions you do, the more points you will gain to plant different plants, and eventually plant real trees around the world.

3. Have a list (& a planner) as well. Not only is the schedule creating structure, but the list creates even more structure so you know what you need to get done for the day. It also helps you not fall victim to the classic symptom of forgetting. Each day, you should write down what you WANT to get done and create your own times to look at lecture and assignments. Have goals for the day.

For example: complete assignment 2.

If you do not have expectations with yourself before the day begins, your ADHD will kind of take over and do something else. I have structure to my day. I set a timer to wake up at the same time. I take my ADHD medicine 90 minutes before my final wake up time, and I do my morning routine once it kicks in. Having the same routine helps.

-> Focus on your goals. Don’t be super harsh about the times.

-> Don’t overwhelm with how many things on to do list. Again, break it up into small tasks. For example, one part being: Wash dishes or fold laundry. It makes it less overwhelming to your brain and gives you a choice of which task. Typical non ADHD people just tell you to prioritize tasks but that doesn’t work for us. Do it in a random order and it gets the job done.

4. TAKE BREAKS! The other side to this is making sure that you give yourself adequate breaks.

*For hyperfocus, wait til your hyperfocus has started to wear off. Use it to your advantage for peak productivity. It is no joke.*

-> The misconception is that some people with ADHD are lazy and as a result, some ADHDers won’t take breaks. You can take a break. Healthy, long breaks do more for you long term.

-> Have a timer set. For example, after a 45 minute session or an hour session, I will take a break to do another task that has nothing to do with studying, like laundry, eating a snack, or stretching. Then after that task is done, I will go back to studying.

5. Have a workspace. Only do work at this space. I do schoolwork at my living room table and it is perfect. I do not study in my room because that is my sanctuary for relaxation and rest, not productivity. Make an effort to make the workspace clean, with your supplies - laptop, notebooks, pens, etc - readily available.

-> Once I get to my workspace, everything for the morning is already done. I’ve done my morning routine, so all there is left to do is hydrate while I study.

6. Recognize if you have adequate energy to do the task. Sometimes, with ADHD you may neglect your needs. If you are not getting enough rest, here are some tips:

•Bed should be for rest only.

•Blackout curtains

•Lavender essential oil, I have a diffuser but you can also put it on your pillow

•Background noise: pick what you want, lo fi music, rain sounds, binaural beats, singing bowls

•If all else fails, ADHD is often comorbid with other illnesses, meaning you could have a form of depression causing insomnia for example. This should be considered if you are having long term issues and symptoms.

7. Don’t overdo it. We are not neurotypical. Executive dysfunction is real - meaning our brains actually shut down when it perceives a task to be mundane.

-> You do not have to fit everything into one schedule for the sake of being “productive”. Each day should be what you know you can do, and there are different days to tackle different goals.

-> When you feel like you cannot continue, which is literally a symptom of ADHD, sit still for a few minutes.

8. Have a “What I Did Today” List. Because of how ADHD actually makes us feel, we don’t realize how much work we have put in. ADHD actually can be explained easily, we have about 2 dopamine workers showing up to work while most people are at maximum capacity. We are working overtime to do our best, even on medicine. So, acknowledging what we did today is good and encouraging, or at least reflecting in a journal.

9. Play music. It’s recommended to play study music without words because with ADHD we will submerge ourselves into the playlist of nostalgic 90s R&B. I recommend lo fi hip hop on YouTube, video game instrumentals, classical music, or jazz instrumentals. Whatever gets you going just do it!

General ADHD tips:

•Rewrite lecture notes and type the lecture notes.

•Color code with bright colors and pretty drawings or calligraphy

•Instead of telling yourself “I need to take notes” which usually leads to procrastination say “Rewrite lecture notes and emphasize main points” ... this is useful in your to do list but in everyday goals

•Generally try to get your assignments done ahead of time if there is structure to certain courses, if not, again, stick to the schedule. If you slip one day off your schedule then don’t beat yourself up. Breathe!!!

•Side effect of most ADHD meds is that you’re not hungry so buy easy things to eat like muscle milk or yogurt and granola or smoothies so you can sustain yourself

•Get a dry erase board to show what you need to do for the day and put it on the fridge with command strips

•To avoid forgetting things, put them at a table near the door where you leave your apartment/dorm/house.

•Don’t overthink the time it takes to get ready, often that’s why ADHDers are late. Better to be super early than late though - have a routine set so you know how long each task takes - for example “I know a shower takes me 15 mins, washing my face takes 60 seconds and a few more including sunscreen/moisturizer, etc...”

•In that same grain, set timers for going to the bathroom, showering, etc just in case you one day hyperfocus and push yourself too far

•Open the blinds!!!!

•Clean your room and tidy up your space. A cluttered space impacts your mental health in a really negative way. Your space reflects your mental state at times as well, so check in with yourself. Have a specific day where you know you’re going to clean, but ADHD sometimes gives us bursts of cleaning so take advantage of that as well.

•Anytime your water bottle empties refill it. Have your water bottle or mason jar next to your workspace, and drink 5-10 gulps. Seriously. ADHD depends a lot on hydration, especially if you are on medicine which naturally dehydrates you. If you do not stay hydrated, you’ll get that massive headache mid day and crash sooner. A lot of times, lack of productivity can be due to not drinking enough water.

•If you don’t take medication, then sometimes you may notice you love coffee, and that’s because it’s a stimulant. Too much of anything is not good, but balance it with water. If you’re going to use coffee to kinda “medicate” then do it close to when you’re going to be productive.

•Setting yourself up to do a task rather than envisioning the overwhelming act of doing the entire action. “Okay, lets just get up and get the first step down, such as opening the laptop or wetting the toothbrush.” Baby steps.

•Take advantage of accommodations! Your college more than likely has an Office of Disability Services. Also, email your professors...they’re actually just as stressed as you about classes being online.

•Remember that you’re already trying as hard as you can, so don’t listen to the narrative of “try harder”, “you’re *r word*”, “you’re cheating by using medication”, “just do it,” “it’s easy,” “what’s so hard about it?” or “you’re lazy”. Anyone telling you that, even yourself, is wrong. And DO NOT allow anyone to be ableist, even yourself.

•Validate yourself. Don’t let anyone to do the “I experience that too”/“I know what you mean”/“we ALL have trouble with this!” and they don’t have ADHD. No. It’s our experience, it’s valid, and unlike anything on the planet. If you’re reading this and you don’t have ADHD - no, you do not experience any of the things in my next bullet point.

•Don’t be hard on yourself if you stumble along the way getting this right. ADHD completely changes your executive functioning.

We see the task, but our brain blocks it.

We have something marked down as “important” but our brain tosses it out in the “trash”.

We watch an entire episode of a show, but our brain ignored the entire thing. Our brain picks and chooses what is stimulating, our brain changes our interests.

We have sensory overload, we have no dopamine, we have bursts of curiosity that cannot be contained (often inconvenient) and if interrupted, our brains cannot take it.

People often discount how many things ADHD actually changes because it’s widely misunderstood. I want to take the time to acknowledge that ADHD, formerly known as simply ADD, has different types: primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive-impulsive, or combined which is what I have. So it’s not “hyper” and “relatable”. It is also not a buzzword to use to describe things. I must put stereotypes and misrepresentations of ADHD to rest.

It impacts us emotionally as well, which most people don’t know... such as rejection dysphoria — extreme sensitivity to being criticized to where our brains self destruct. Our brains don’t regulate emotions well.

ADHDers - do not fall victim to how everyone else operates and call yourself a failure. We have to work twice as hard and the results actually come out brilliant especially with our determination and imaginative ideas that are also seen in autistic individuals, honorable mention!

There’s good days and bad days. There’s literal changes in thinking that other people do not experience. We all collectively know wouldn’t be who we are without ADHD, but we all recognize the challenges. However, it makes me happy to see messages like this so that I can make a difference and hopefully help one person with ADHD, especially of color, at a time stop being so hard on themselves. 💗

#answered #mental health #adhd #actuallyadhd #studyblr #save

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noroi1000 · 2 years

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May I request for a match up with jjk men

I go by wolf I'm a female , straight,4'9, my body type is a hourglass figure. I have brown eyes and brown hair that is super curly and wavy thanks to my native Indian & Spanish hertiage it tends to turn a little red in the summer when I'm in the sun I have freckles. That are sometimes an insecurity. I have adhd and suffer from anxiety and depression. I am also legal deaf. I have been in out of doctors my all life due to me being born prematurely with very little chance of survival. So I have had surgeries so I have scars I have one that is from when I was born it's on my stomach my medical conditions and issues have never been anything I have felt ashamed of. (Which all of these things caused me to be bullied and left out in activites I remember crying thinking it isn't fair it's not fair I just want to play and have a friend). Moving on

Personality type: "The Advocate" INFJ-T

My hobbies include playing with my 3 rescues dogs, cooking,baking, trying new restaurants, reading, writing, sleeping, shopping,and crafting

I like watching shows such as anime, criminal minds, NCIS, law & order special victims unit, any criminal documentary, friends.learning about my heritage.

I dislike bullies Lairs vegetables politics narrcisst,People who abused the young and elderly,School, fake people,drama,

I can be a lot to handle at times especially with my anxiety and depression. And I get frustrated very easily. I'm not the best at communicating and often keep things to myself. I hate asking for help. I refuse to cry in front of others unless I feel comfortable enough around you. I tend to overthink the tiniest things. I push myself to my limit often times passed my limit. I read people pretty well, always willing to give a helping hand even if I myself am having a hard time but will not dare ask for help. I'm a lone wolf. A lot of folks say I'm hard to approach because of my resting bitch face lol it's just my face. I'm honest and that's why many people don't want me around I hate drama. From a young age I have always been able to read between the lines and find a deeper meaning, think outside the box, immediately sensing someone's emotions especially snice I'm an empath. I've been told it's a gift it is in a way but some days it feels like cruse. I enjoy learning about different cultures, myths, legends. Along with enjoying the simpler things in life.

Random facts

My aesthetic (s) : Dark Academia. Country.

Favorite Animal: Wolf

Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

Favorite Food: Depends on what I'm in the mood for

Favorite Quote : To many to list

Favorite Time Of Day: Night

Music I listen to:

Genres: Folk,Country,Rap, Pop, Rock & Roll

I think your Jujutsu kaisen matchup is

Yuta Okkotsu

Yuta is a person who… He wasn't liked very much by people. Actually, he wasn't liked at all. People had rejected him themselves, regardless of his feelings.

He never wanted to be spurned, and he wanted friends. However, he could not have had them for a long time. Even if he wanted to have someone to talk to and also meet, he couldn't. He was harassed. Like everyone at school, he had people who bullied him. There are mean people everywhere who hate the weaker and laugh at them. He hated people like that, and he still hates them. Therefore, he was afraid of the world, and actually did not want to go anywhere. He had a really bad life.

While his world changed a little, he too changed.

He was not afraid to live and also smiled when he made friends.

However, he had some behavior left.

He got nervous quickly, and especially when someone was hurting his relatives, he was still hesitant to people and did not talk to strangers often, and when he tried, then he suddenly stopped, not knowing if he could continue talking. When something bothers him, he hides it even under a smile. He will not pass on bad things to someone else.

He tries to help everyone he can, but he will not ask for help in his problems. He will not burden someone with his own affairs, but in the meantime he burdens himself, and prefers to take care of it himself. But his every friend, or just a person he knows, can ask for help and he will definitely get it. He is just a nice person who cannot refuse to help. He liked it already. He also enjoys seeing a smile and listening to someone thanking him. Then he felt needed, as if he was really important to them.

important And he can also finally say that he has friends. And even someone closer than a friend.

He would never show his weaknesses. He will really cry for various reasons or because he is struggling, but when someone calls him to come, no matter what, he does everything quickly not to look like he is crying and sad and comes out with renewed energy. In everyone, he only cries in situations where he cannot stop it. Then he would hide his tears anyway.

He, too, would like to be comforted. When he comforts someone, he does it in such a way as to cheer him up as quickly as possible. When he cries, he just wants to hide. Whether alone or in the arms of a very trusted person. Just to think about it all.

He tries to express his feelings honestly, but doesn't want to be mean to anyone.

He is always feeling someone else's emotions. He thinks about it, and may even figure out what happened to make someone sad. He analyzes the time that the person spends to find out everything. Then he will try to change the mood to comfort as only that person could want.

Headcanon:

• He is an honest person who also hates false people. He often feels obligated to put you in a good mood. He would never put himself above you, and he will take care of everything.

• You don't have to tell him you want help. He knows when to help you. But when you don't want it at all, you can tell him directly that you don't need his help. Then he can only smile sadly and say that he would like to help you. Not everyone may want this from him, but he would like to give you a break. After all, he can do what you want to do for you. But he doesn't want to talk you into something you don't want.

• He will help you learn more about whatever you want.

• I think your time to spend it together would be something like movie nights. He'll watch every genre, but don't make it watch horror movies. Anything but that.

He could lie in bed with you and gently hug you or roll his fingers over your skin. Watch the movie with a smile and think only about what is happening in your surroundings at the moment.

• He doesn't see any problem with your style, but sometimes he gets scared by too much darkness.

• Since you both like dogs / wolves, and also know Megumi, what's wrong with going out for walks with his dogs? It is quite a nice activity and also quiet. Plus, these creatures are so cute.

• You can define his smile as the sun, but the moon itself is, in every sense.

• It is normal to think about sleeping and all the activities you can do together. He loves you by your side, so why can't he stop what you like to do with him? He himself will be happy to try to cook something. Even if he can burn it by accident. He would like you to be his good teacher.

• What he wants most is your depression. This is definitely not nice. He knows this feeling, and will try his best to add more and more happiness and love to your life.

You gave it to him, so he will give it to you.

The names he calls you: "My life" , "My happiness"

• He doesn't care as long as he's with you. No rules. Just to make you happy.

"(y/n)-chan, how are you? You're fine, right? Please be okay. Always. At any moment. I want you to smile at me. You are My happiness. My life. Be happy always, okay?"

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen matchups #anime matchup #jjk headcanons #yuta okkotsu #okkotsu yuta

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wolfish-trickster · 3 years

Text

Liar

final part (I like number 7, let's end it at number 7)

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 2,9K

Warnings: angst, typos (not when drunk gods are talking, those are intentional), drunk god bros™, hangover

Tag list:@gaitwae @lucywrites02 @hard-to-be-the-bard @birdgirl90 @laramoonworld @belovedadam @mascaracoffee @serebrum @myworldgoesboomz @lokis-leah @nickkie1129 @getyoutmoon @forevernthensome

A/N: thank you so much for reading this unexpected mini series❤️

Loki swayed from one side to another. His question still hanging in the air. Thor was struggling to get back up on his feet. When it looked like he's making progress, he fell down on his knees again and had to start over.

"Has any of you ever seen them like that?" Steve whispered.

Everyone shook their heads. Your eyes remained glued to Loki. He never drank. Well, if he had to he drank fine wine or some other 'fancy' alcohol from Tony's stash, but he never drank to the point of being drunk. Only slightly tipsy.

You remember the first time you saw him drink. It was a long time ago. Tony made him. He said it will make him 'turn that frown upside down'. You saw him drain the whole bottle that day and it did nothing to him. Only tainted his pale cheeks with slight pink. You've seen him drink more than a bottle since then, but it was never enough to make him stumble through his words, or sway around like Jack Sparrow. How much did he had?

Anxiety gnawed on you again. 'He drank because of you. Because of what you told him. Your words pushed a literal god to drink his sadness away.'

"Weeeell?" Loki asked again. When Thor fell down with a thud on the floor again Loki rolled his eyes and was at least pretending to help him stand up. You swear you heard him whisper something along the lines of 'get up you outgrown lightning mouse, don't embarass me in front of her', but that could've been just your imagination.

"For god's sake, how much did you guys have?" Sam asked and Bucky stole Rex from his lap while he was distracted.

Thor while leaning on the back of the couch was counting his fingers. After a while he gave up. "A lot. We made our anescesterors proud," he bared his teeth in a proud grin.

"You mean ancestors, right?"

Thor's head turned to Nat. "Yes! We had a whoooole barrel. One for me," he hugged his brooding brother around shoulders (more like leaned on him with his entire weight) "and one for Kiki," the childish nickname earned Thor a massive shove to the side. "Do not call me dat!"

Bruce facepalmed. "Guys, what are we gonna do with them?"

Clint pulled out his phone, recording everything. "Enjoy while it lasts."

You smacked his phone away, a sudden need to protect your (hopefully still) friend's dignity roused inside of you. "You can't!" you said louder than you wanted.

Clint just shook his head. "You're no fun Y/N," and put his phone away.

You frowned at them. "I know. I know I'm no fun, and I am annoying sometimes, and weak and dumb compared to all of you. I know all of that! I don't care!"

Bucky stared up at you. "What has gotten into you doll?"

"I'll tell you what. I was a bitch, okay? I was overthinking everything ever since I had that argument with Loki. His words started something inside of my head. I started to think they were true, that when my best friend thought those things what must all of you think. And even when I knew they were lies those thoughts stayed up here," you pointed at your head, "and I hate myself for still keeping them there. And just when I thought I'll finally make up with Loki and everything will be good again I fuck up!" you wiped an escaped tear, took a breath and continued.

"It's my fault he's like this. He was drinking because of what I said. All of this is because of me," you hugged your arms to comfort yourself a little. Everyone stared at you, including the drunk brothers.

What you were letting out of your mouth probably didn't make sense as a whole. They were just your anxious thoughts getting free, they didn't care in which order. All of that stress, everything that has been rotting inside of your chest is out now. You feel a little better.

"Daaaarlin', 's not your fault," Loki interrupted your train of thoughts, reminding you that just because you talked your heart out, it didn't fix your mistake of hurting him.

"Yeah, and whose then?" you said calmly.

Loki stood up straighter while still swaying a little. "The univers! She won't let us be toge'er, thas why I haf to make up with 'er," his british accent got deeper.

You slowly walked towards him. "No Loki, this is my fault. And I'll fix it too," you took him by his arm and slowly lead him away. To his bedroom. However, he protested.

"Wait! We have to give 'er flowerz," he leaned down to Thor and yanked some of the flowers along with his golden hair from Thor's head. "Y'kno, to makup."

You shook your head and walked with him a little faster. "You don't have to. All you have to do is go to sleep now."

When the Avengers finally came to their senses Bruce shouted after you. "Hey what about Thor?"

"He's all yours," you shouted back from the elevators and pressed button leading to Loki's floor.

'He's heavier than he looks,' you think as you get closer to his bedroom door.

He's been leaning on you for support the whole silent (mildly uncomfortably silent) way to his bedroom. He groaned and mumbled something undecipherable here and there. You wished to be already in his room, put him in his bed and dissappear for few hours. You felt so awkward helping your friend who can barely stand after he drank because of you.

"Can you lean on the wall please?" you asked him when you both stood infront of his locked door. He unhooked his arm from around your shoulders and practically threw himself onto the nearest wall.

"Lean, not fall!"

He chuckled. "Sorrey, is the gravity," he mumbled.

You rolled your eyes and fished out a key from his bedroom door from your sweatpant pocket. When the thin metal slid into keayhole Loki threw his arms around you and gently squeezed you. "Are ya real?"

"Eeeh, yes? Why are you asking?"

"Because," he squished your cheeks together, "you're nice to me. And you're cute," he giggled.

You chuckled and removed his hands from your cheeks. "Thanks, but this isn't you. You need to sleep."

"Not me?" he asked, confusion all over his face. He ran his hand across his torso and settled on his face. "But this is my body and my face! It has to be me!"

"Yes, it is, but the acting isn't. Now come," you took his hand and gently lead him through his open door.

You pushed him to sit on his bed and wanted to walk out, but he won't let go of your hands. He studied them like a little child, turning them, looking at them from every angle. You blushed. He hasn't been this tender for a long time.

You cleared your throat. "You need to sleep. You're gonna have a massive hangover tomorrow."

His eyes left your hands resting in his and bore into yours. But they weren't as clear as usual, they were clouded and lost. "Why?"

"Eeeh, because you're drunk?"

"Why?"

"Because you drank?"

"Why?"

"Because-" no, you can't tell him. "It doesn't matter. Just sleep now," you tried to push him to his bed, but even in this state he was strong and unmovable.

"I don't wanna sleep. I need to find Univers!"

"Well, you can find your universe after you sober up."

"Noooo," he shook his head dramatically, his hair whiping around him. "I can't find my universe. YOU are MY universe," he held your hands close to his chest.

"But I need to find THE Universe! With the T'n'H'n'E infront of it," he started to ramble about Universe conspiring against him and you, but you didn't listen.

You stopped listening after he said 'you are my universe'. Did he mean it?

" 'Your' universe?" you asked and finally pushed him to lie down on his bed.

"Yea," he yawned, his eyelids became too heavy for him to keep open. "I know you hate me, but I.... I...," and he was gone. Off to the dreamland.

You stayed there for few more minutes in case he woke up and finished what he wanted to say, but no such thing happened. You could play on drumms next to him and he wouldn't move.

You softly brushed his hair from his face and covered him with his soft black blanket. "I don't hate you Loki. I never did. I just hope you'll be just as nice and calm when you sober up as you were right now," you caressed his cheek for the last time and walked to his door.

Before you closed, you looked back at him and softly whispered. "You are my universe too Loki."

Loki's head pulsed with pain. That's what woke him up, actually. Blindly, he felt around him with his hands, trying to find out where he was. Warm blanket, soft bed, his Asgardian armour still on. It was dirty from clay and smelled weird. Almost like.... alcohol?

'Oh,' he thought, 'that happened.'

He groaned and opened his eyes, only to instantly cover them with his palm. Light from the nearby window was stabbing his eyeballs causing him even bigger headache. All he wanted to do was get a big- no, giant cup of cold water and down it just as fast as he was doing with the alcohol yesterday.

But whenever he tried to use his magic only green and gold sparkles flew from his fingers and when he tried to stand up he got dizy and the whole room started to spin. He fell down onto his bed again. He felt as if his brother hit him with Mjolnir, his famous hammer.

If he wanted a cup of water, he will have to suffer through those few steps to his bathroom.

He reluctantly and slowly stood up and walking very close to wall he made his way for a drink. Or three, just in case.

After a long and unpleasant journey he fell onto his bed again, but not before he pulled blinds over the horribly bright window and rid himself of any dirty and uncomfortable clothes, leaving him only in his underwear.

With his head underneath his blanket, to block out any more light, he tried to remember as much of his actions from yesterday as he could.

From your room he went to gym to punch his frustration out. That's where Thor found him, interrogated him and then dragged him to Asgard to have a drink. Or a whole pub apparently. The rest is a blur. Something about garden, flowers and him and his brother crashing down to Midgard to look for someone. Who? He doesn't remember. Maybe you, since he remembered something about flowers. Maybe his drunk self thought it would be best to make up with you.

But that didn't make any sense, he had nothing to apologize for anymore. You were the one who told him those word. Where even were you anyways?

Just as he finished that thought he heard his doorknob move and his door creaked open.he slowly peaked out from underneath the blanket and in the dimness saw a familiar silhouette. You.

Carefully you put one foot infront of the other and walked straight towards him. You must think he's still asleep, that's why you're so careful. Oh, how he longed to pretend to be asleep and then jump at you and scare you. But he can't. He can't let his mischievious nature do that yet. Not when things between you two aren't like they used to be.

Instead he kept his eyes open and when you got close enough, he slightly moved. "Well look who showed up," he said.

You flinched a little. "Thank god you're finally awake. How are you feeling?"

"Horrible, to be honest," he rubbed his temples. "Why did you say 'finally awake'?"

You completely ignored his question. "Do you need anything? Water? Painkillers?"

"How about you give me an answer?"

You sighed. "You were out for two days Loki. I was starting to think you had alcohol poisoning and died in your sleep. I was checking up on you every few hours to make sure you're still with us," you confessed.

"Oh, alright. Thank you. And I don't need anything. I already obtained it," he pointed at his bedside table with three glasses of water.

"Still, your head must be torturing you. I'll bring you some painkillers," you ran outside before he could stop you.

You returned after few minutes with a small box of pills on one hand and a jar of water in the other. "So you don't have to stand up and go to the bathroom after you drink those three cups," you said and put the jar on his bedside table.

"Thank you. You are oddly kind to me," Loki pointed out.

You hummed and awkwardly stood infront of his bed, trying not to look at his naked torso. You fidgeted with the box for a while. "Just take one when you want," you said finally and put it next to the jar.

"Hey, can you tell me what happened yester- I mean two days ago? Was I and Thor a big disaster?" he asked, wanting you to stay with him.

"Well," you chuckled and scratched the back of your head. "It was a bit awkward and confusing. You and Thor appeared on the balcony and you were looking for universe for some reason."

Loki facepalmed. The pain from embarrassment was bigger than the pain his head was causing. "And let me guess, The Earth's Mightiest Heroes recorded everything, didn't they?"

You shook your head. "No, I didn't let them."

"Thank you," he smiled kindly.

You returned the smile. "Hey, can I sit here?" you pointed at the corner of his bed.

"Sure," he moved a little to give you more space. The bed dipped under your weight a little.

"I want to tell you few things," you said, your eyes watched how you fidgeted with your fingers.

"I'm listening."

"First I want to apologize for what I said. I was tetchy and I know it doesn't excuse what I said," you raised your eyes to his. "I just want you to know I didn't mean them. And I'm sorry. I would like to be your friend again. Please."

Loki bit his tongue from teasingly telling you 'no' and took a deep breath. "I would like to be your friend as well. I don't want us to argue anymore. So," he extended his arm towards you, "friends?"

You beamed at him. To him your smile shone brighter than the sun outside. You took his hand and shook it. "Friends."

"I'm glad," he squeezed your hand gently. He didn't want to let go yet. "And what about the rest of what you wanted to tell me?"

"Oh, right," you looked to the side. "You said something yesterday."

"Something offensive? If so, I apologize-"

"No! Not at all! It just..." you bit your lower lip and tilted your head, something you subconsciously did when you blushed. "Y-you said that... I am your universe," you said carefully.

Loki froze. Did he really say that? You didn't look like you were lying. Why did he tell you that? Why were you bringing that up? Did you possibly feel the same and want to be sure he wasn't kidding when he said it?

Loki must've took too long to respond, because you were trying to pull your hand from his and leave. This time Loki was fast to stop you. "I really said that?"

You gulped. "Yes, ehm did you mean it? Wait, you don't remember. Sorry," you chuckled awkwardly.

"If I said that while drunk, I meant it."

"Really?"

"Yes. I once heard 'alcohol reveals, who a person truly is', in that case I am a romantic," he winked and you giggled. He liked the fact you still giggle at his stupid jokes.

"For real now. You are my universe. My best friend. My partner in crime. And if you allow then I would like to add another title: my paramour. If you feel the same way, that is."

You smiled softly and intertwined your fingers with his. "You are my universe as well, Loki."

"Great," he lifted your joined hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to the back of your hand. "When I sober up and feel better I'm officially asking you out on a date."

"How long does it usually take for you to sober up?"

"A day or two," Loki shrugged and fell back onto his bed. His head started spinning again.

"That's too long," you said and layed next to him. "Can I watch over you while you sleep?"

"Sure thing love," he hugged you to him and kissed the crown of your head.

Bonus

"Darling, it's 2pm."

"Yes, so?"

"Aren't you supposed to take Rex out?"

"Bucky is training him."

"Oh, okay."

"You're so sweet to think of him."

"Hmmm."

*meanwhile*

Steve: hey, aren't you supposed to train him?

Bucky: *lying on the floor, Rex napping on his chest*

Bucky: uuuh, I gave him a break.

Steve: *raises one eyebrow*

Bucky: please don't tell her

Steve: only if I can join in

A/N: I was this close to write the angstiest ending, but I have a good mood today

#loki #loki odinson #loki x reader #the avengers #loki fluff #loki angst #loki x reader angst #drinking #drunk loki #drunk thor #hangover

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ofstoriesandstardust · 3 years

Text

enough for you-luther hargreeves

a/n: surprise, i’m back!! i started writing this while i was sad because i stay taking things out on my comfort characters. this is inspired by enough for you by olivia rodrigo because SOUR has me by the fucking throat. yes i do have about 14 other wip’s what about it. also, yes, i’m okay and my relationship is okay, but i was sad, and we all know i write when i’m sad. and i’ve been lacking on content lately, so here is this.

word count: 2,999 words (including lyrics)

warnings: toxic relationships, brief mentions of mental illness, kylie was big sad and overthinking when she wrote this

masterlist | prompt list

I wore makeup when we dated 'Cause I thought you'd like me more If I looked like the other prom queens I know that you loved before Tried so hard to be everything that you liked Just for you to say you're not the compliment type

It was quite clear when you had first started dating him that it wasn’t his first rodeo with a girl. You had been honest when you first started dating him that you hadn’t been with anyone before, that this was your first relationship. You were still young, in college when you met him, and in no hurry to find someone and settle down. You were content to be alone and with the fact that you had never been in a relationship... at times. But your insecurities crept up on you like anyone else and you often wondered why he stayed with you when he could be with anyone else. You wanted to be enough for him. It was almost as you watched from the sidelines as you watched yourself sacrifice your values, your identity, your passions, to fit into what he wanted and needed. So desperate to prove that you were not your worst fears, so concerned that this may be the only chance you got at love, you ignored what your friends said and continued to try, time after time, to be the slightest bit of enough for him.

And I knew how you took your coffee And your favorite songs by heart I read all of your self-help books So you'd think that I was smart Stupid, emotional, obsessive little me I knew from the start this is exactly how you'd leave

You always prided yourself on being a kind, thoughtful human being. It was one of the things you liked most about yourself. You’d remember everyone’s birthday, buy your friend’s lunch, compliment strangers. You hoped that the kindness you put out into the world would one day be returned to but you had yet to see it. When you met him, nothing changed. You remembered his birthday the first time he had told you, remembered his siblings birthdays, always sent him good morning and good night texts, and went out of your way to support him in everything he did. From beginning to end, you tried very hard to be the best girlfriend you could be. He always teased you for your care and concern, for your support and love, which was almost... hurtful after a while. You always shook it off, telling yourself that’s just how he was. But, and of course there was a but, there always was for you. You had let your guard down much quicker than you had expected, falling in love with him before you knew what was happening. And with letting your guard down came with the true picture of you. With the breakdowns and emotions and trauma-filled past. At first he was kind, receptive to each and every moment that you needed him but as time went on, it changed. You became too sensitive, emotional, unable to take a joke, the girl who worried too much. You felt another fragment of your heart breaking every time.

You found someone more exciting The next second, you were gone And you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong And you always say I'm never satisfied But I don't think that's true 'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough for you And all I ever wanted was to be enough for you

Despite how hard you had tried, you were still not enough. You watched as he slowly fell out of love with you. You knew you should’ve left long before you did, but you clung to the hope that one day things would change. You hoped that one day things would get better and you would have the love of your life back. You wanted this to work so bad, you fought so hard, and yet... it still wasn’t enough. Never would be, not for him. You watched as his eyes flickered towards other girls, watched as his attention turned to other passions and projects and people in his life. You suddenly became two strangers, neither willing to let go. You would never forget the night things ended, when your heart had crumbled. You had voiced your concerns and it had turned into an emotional argument as he dismissed everything you said.

“God, you’re never satisfied, are you? I give and I give and I give and yet- it’s never enough for you!” He had growled, and you had felt yourself fall apart. That had been the most painful cut yet, because really, hadn’t you given it all to never be enough for him? You knew in your heart that even if you were meant to spend the rest of your days alone, this, this wasn’t love.

And maybe I'm just not as interesting As the girls you had before But God, you couldn't have cared less About someone who loved you more I'd say you broke my heart But you broke much more than that Now I don't want your sympathy I just want myself back

“Let’s just call it.” He looked at you. “Neither of us are getting what we want here, so let’s just- let’s just call it.” You had spoken the words through the tears and you will never forget the way your body had flinched as he slammed the door for the last time. So here you were, getting ready to move to start law school into a town where you knew no one, with no idea who you were outside of this relationship that was now over. Your heart wasn’t just broken, it was shattered. You had lost yourself, sacrificed it, for this relationship to work, and it hadn’t been enough. You mourned the loss of the last three years of your life, the loss of the friends, the loss of the love you once shared, the loss of the girl you had once known.

Meeting Diego had been by accident. You were out at dinner with Eudora Patch, one of the detectives you had been working with as an intern for the town’s DA’s office. She was kind and witty and funny and had been your first real friend in a long time. She had taken you out to dinner, in celebration of your first completed semester of law school when her phone rang. There had been a new crime scene she needed to go look at, and she offered to take you home after her visit there. You agreed, eager to see things upfront and firsthand. You were so eager to learn and perform well in this new role that turning her offer down would’ve been a stupid decision. She was walking you through the crime scene, a minor break-in, explaining the process to you when a man in all black strolled by, trying very hard to look casual, and failing. Eudora stopped short, her eyes narrowing. She grabbed the back of the man’s jacket as he walked past and he grimaced. “Diego Hargreeves, what in God’s name are you doing?”

“Probably playing mediocre Batman again.” Another detective, Lucy, said from behind you. You turned and caught her playful smirk.

“Ah, Hargreeves, good to see you.” Robert, another officer, commented from your other side.

“I don’t know who this is.” You whispered to Lucy as Eudora rolled her eyes at the partners.

“Oh, right, you’re still new. This is Diego Hargreeves. He’s Eudora’s ex-boyfriend who’s trying to relive his glory days even though he isn’t part of the force anymore. Diego, this is (Y/N). She's one on the new interns at the ADA’s office.” Diego gave a tight smile and raised his hand in greeting. You waved back, quite confused.

“C’mon, (Y/N), I’ll give you a ride home. If you wait around for Eudora, you’ll have to watch her bicker with Diego the rest of the night, and you have plenty of time to be tortured by their arguing.” You laughed lightly. You waved goodbye to the other two detectives and Diego as you and Robert made your way to his car. You hadn’t thought much of the encounter with Diego at first, and certainly not at all over the next few days as you were busy with work and school. You hadn’t given it a second thought until you had looked up from where you were restocking sugar to meet his eyes. He gave you a brief smile as he and two others made their way to the counter.

“Well, if it isn’t troublesome Diego Hargreeves. What can I do for you?” You smiled, leaning up against the counter. He sat down, the people behind him trialing as they eye’d you cautiously. Ignoring your question, he pointed to the girl closest to him on his left, who you immediately recognized. “This is my sister Allison Hargreeves.” You nodded.

“Yeah, I know, my boyf-” You caught yourself. Not your boyfriend anymore. Not for the last six months. You cleared your throat. “My ex-boyfriend loved your films, made me watch them all the time with him.” You said, giving them a tight smile. She smiled back at you graciously and you turned back to Diego.

“And this is my brother Luther. We’ll have three chocolate milkshakes.” You nodded and turned to let the kitchen know. You walked to back to the counter, busying yourself with the sugar, not wanting to intrude or eavesdrop on their conversation. It was late, and Griddy’s had been quiet, and you had been longing for the company, but you would never overstep. Fortunately, Diego called your name and you turned to him. “So, waitressing and working at the DA’s office, huh?” you nodded.

“Waitressing pays the law school tuition bills. Hopefully it’s not forever.” You said, shrugging.

“Well, if you stay with the DA’s office, Patch will keep you busy.” Diego commented and Luther snorted.

“Yeah, you can spend the rest of your life watching Diego and Eudora argue endlessly.” Luther stated and you smiled at him.

“I don’t know, I think it’s kind of entertaining.” You said, smirking as Diego started in about how he does what he does to keep the city safe and Patch should understand better than anyone else. You shared looks of amusement with both Luther and Allison and as the four of you sat there and talked, you felt yourself laughing like you hadn’t in so long. When the three siblings left, you felt yourself almost... disappointed? at their departure. You had quite enjoyed talking to Luther, who was quieter than his two siblings, and you found yourself drawn to his company. You had hoped to see him but a week had passed and you had still yet to see his return to the diner. It wasn’t until you were working an early morning shift that he walked through the door again, the tinkling sound of the bell sounding like music to your ears with the guest it brought. You smiled at the blond and he smiled back as he sat down at the counter. “Luther, good morning. What can I get for you?”

“Uh, a coffee and some chocolate chip waffles sound amazing.” You nodded.

“Good taste. I can make that happen. Be right back.” You gave his order to the kitchen and made your way back to the counter, pouring him a cup of coffee as the two of you chatted. The conversation flowed easily over the next two hours and you felt a smile settle on your face. Luther continued to come back to the diner time after time, sometimes with his siblings, sometimes not. And as the next six months passed, you felt yourself falling for him in a way you weren’t sure you were ready to. Still, you couldn’t deny the chemistry between the two of you and the butterflies you felt in your stomach when he smiled at you.

You and Lucy were walking to the theaters one night. The two of you had become fast friends not long after you had met Diego. You had been re-telling a story of Luther and Diego from Griddy’s the other day when she cleared her throat, causing you to look up at her. “Speaking of Luther, are you two ever going to admit your feelings for each other?” You rolled your eyes.

“Seriously, Luce, come off it. Luther and I do not have a thing.”

“I see the way he looks at you. Everyone does.”

“Even if he did have a thing for me, it hasn’t been that long since... him. I don’t want to get hurt again.”

“But, Luther isn’t him! And it’s been almost a year.” You remained quiet. “If Luther tells you he does have feelings for you, are you gonna turn him down?” You shrugged.

“I don’t know.” You muttered.

“You deserve to be happy too.”

You were wiping down tables late one night, when the bell jingled. You looked up to see Luther. He sat down at his usual spot at the counter, looking kind of, well, nervous. You smiled at him as you made your way to him. “What can I get for you , Luther?”

“Um, actually, I came here because, well, I needed to ask you something.” He scratched the back of his head nervously as he talked. You nodded.

“Okay.” You whispered softly, biting your lip. You weren’t exactly sure what he was about to ask.

“Well, Diego thinks I should stop being a cowards and everyone else agrees, so here goes nothing, I guess. Would you like to go on a date sometime?” You froze, heart hammering in your chest. You mouth opened to form the words to let him down gently, to explain why, but Lucy’s words burned in your mind.

“You deserve to be happy too.”

“Luther, I-”

“It’s okay, if- if you don’t feel the same way.”

“No, Luther, I- I would love to go out on a date with you.” Relief spread over his face and the butterflies erupted in your stomach as he smiled at you.

“Great, great, how does next Friday at 6 sound? Dinner and a movie?”

“Sounds fantastic.”

Don't you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded? Don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing? But don't tell me you're sorry, boy Feel sorry for yourself 'Cause someday I'll be everything to somebody else And they'll think that I am so exciting And you'll be the one who's crying

You thought back on that night fondly. The first date had been amazing, and so had the next one, and the next, and the next. Your connection with Luther grew for the next two years and you felt yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with him. You waited with bated breath to watch your relationship crumble again, but Luther never once disappointed you the way he had. The night you had told Luther you had loved him had been unexpected but he had been telling you about his childhood, and you opened up about your previous relationship, and it had just kind of... happened.

“...And the reason I’m telling you all of this is because after him, I thought that was all I was ever going to get, that that was all I deserved. And you’ve shown me so much differently. I’ve never felt more myself than I have with you, and I never thought I’d feel that way again. Luther, I- I’m in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you too.”

The last two years with Luther had been so full of love. And now here you were, graduating law school with the most amazing boyfriend and group of friends to support you and cheer you on. It was the night before your graduation and you had all gone out to dinner to celebrate. It had been a great night and Luther was waiting outside the restaurant to head back to the Academy to continue the celebration with his siblings there. You made your way out of the restaurant’s bathroom and back out to the front when you saw a group of your friends from your undergrad and... him. You stopped by their table and their faces all lit up at the sight of you, including his. You gave them a tight smile. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We wanted to surprise you, for your graduation.” You nodded, your eyes drifting to him.

“Hey, uh, if you have a moment, do you think we could talk?” He asked. You shook your head.

“No. I have a boyfriend now, and uh, my life has moved on without you.” You watched as his face fell. “You said I was never satisfied and nothing you did was ever enough for me, but you know what? The fact of the matter is that I was never enough for you. And I’ve finally found someone who thinks I’m more than enough at my best and worst. So thank you for giving me the opportunity to find what true love feels like.” You raised hand in farewell to the table, and turned, making your way out of the restaurant. You met Luther, who looked up at your approaching footsteps. You kissed him before he could say much.

“Hey, hey, is everything okay?” He asked, hands moving down to their place on your waist as you watched the concern swim around in his eyes. You nodded.

“Couldn’t be better."

Yeah, you always say I'm never satisfied But I don't think that's true You say I'm never satisfied But that's not me, it's you 'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough But I don't think anything could ever be enough For you, enough for you, oh-oh No, nothing's enough for you

#luther hargreeves #luther hargreeves imagine #luther hargreeves imagines #luther hargreeves fic #luther hargreeves x reader

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biggest-g · 2 years

Text

who am I really friends with

Hopping on my computer cause this post is gonna take way too long to type out on my phone

This is just me projecting my thoughts without needing to confront anyone in particular. A lot of shit is going down and this type is all very new to me, not just because this is the first time I’ve felt this over an online platform, but also I’ve never really had this type of strong connection with a friend group.

My friend group for the longest time has used one major Discord server as our main form of communication. It used to at least appear like one big interconnected group of close friends. However, there's been a fair share of conflict and now it's a bit split after some people wanted to distance themselves from certain other people.

I know some people are bound to be closer than others, but for the longest time I've tried to avoid thinking about anyone on the server as less important than anyone else. My mindset went against anything I'd consider could exclusion because I've hated experiencing it myself, and I never arranged anything with just a smaller group instead of involving everyone. But obviously people who are more connected within the group will want to do things without literally everyone else being a part of it. I understand that, and maybe I feel a bit irrationally left out but obviously they’re close and it’s not right for me to be disappointed.

But I have much stronger thoughts when it comes to other Discord servers that consist of selections of people from the main group. At least in my mind, it makes it blindingly clear who exactly the server owner better friends with. I’m perfectly able to recognize that some people are closer to others, but now through this medium of basically invite group chats, its strange because it becomes immediate tangible in a list all the friends the server owner cares about more, and all they don’t care about as much. And that makes me overthink about why I might not be part of the server, if I’m not good enough, if I didn’t form a good enough connection with them. It sucks to have been friendly with someone for a while and end up double guessing how close you actually are. When I see who’s actually on the server, it becomes a comparison game in my head, “why that person over me?”. And I’m also left to think about what I’m missing out on, what conversations they’d want to be having without me. It’s especially weird when people I’m very close to might be on a server I’m not, and when it gets casually mentioned I just have to pretend like I don’t care that much.

I don’t think I’d care as much if it was like a small group of a few people, but when it’s a good amount of people from the server and it doesn’t include me, it does hurt, whether that hurt irrational or not.

Maybe part of the creation of these separate servers comes from trying to have such a large group of friends and unreasonably expecting them all to be very close. Maybe another part comes from turmoil in the group that encouraged people to create these enclaves in the first place.

Maybe I’m also just not used to this type of conflict and need to grow up.

And I don’t want to be intrusive. I don’t want to ask about it and pressure anyone to let me join. I’m posting this here because again I don’t want to confront anyone directly

But I miss talking to some people. I haven’t had a chat with one person in so long after they left and I really... miss them.

I’ll stop monologuing now

I’m just tired

edit:

so much happened today, and things are falling apart

what is going on

...

I should just go to bed

#vent

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irondadfics · 4 years

Note

Hey! Any fics where Peter is insecure about his relationship/thinks Tony doesn’t want to be around him or is embarrassed of him?

INSECURE!PETER REC LIST

Been awhile since we did a rec list! In this list we feature fics where Peter questions his role in Tony’s life for various reasons. ENJOY LOVELIES!!

And if you need a friend, then please just say the word by frostysunflowers @frostysunflowers

“Three cracked ribs, a broken wrist and a heavy blow to the head, along with multiple cuts and bruises.Not so bad as Spider-Man injuries go.So why is he driving like an absolute maniac towards the tower (a hastily repurchased tower to stand in place of the decimated compound) with a roiling churn of something bitter and painful in his stomach.Because before, Peter would always call him. Always.This time though…The kid called Happy instead.”

Delicate by Bean_reads_fanfic @the-reverse-mermaid

It starts here: Peter, in his Spider-Man suit minus the mask, caught deer-in-the-headlights-style in front of a person he’s never met before in the kitchen of his and May’s apartment.“You’re, uh, what’s-his-name –” The guy coughs a bit, swallowing. He points at Peter, his voice getting higher as he goes: “P – uh – Peter, right? You’re – you’re Spider-man?!”…One unfortunate encounter starts a chain of frustrating events; in the process of which, Peter’s insecurities are examined. Including but not limited to: his worries that Tony cares about Spider-Man more than Peter Parker.

Alone by Lost_And_Longing

Alone. Yes, that’s the key word, the most awful word in the English tongue. Murder doesn’t hold a candle to it and hell is only a poor synonym.- Stephen KingAfter four months with no contact between him and Mr. Stark, Peter finally comes to a conclusion he should have come to much, much earlier.Basically, Peter has depression. And no, not the romanticized version.

Learned to lose you, can’t afford to. by ironspidereilish

Peter Parker’s biggest fear is that everyone he loves dies, so when one of Tony’s jokes hits a little too close to home, Peter tries to distance himself from his father-figure/mentor/hero. Unfortunately, a mission going wrong and landing him in the Tower’s med-bay means he has nowhere to hide when Tony asks him what’s wrong.————————————“Jesus, kid, you’re gonna send me to an early grave,” the billionaire joked, still massaging his temples with his eyes closed. Because of this, Tony never saw how quickly Peter’s face paled as he stumbled back a few steps in dreaded realisation. The older man never saw the absolute terror in the boy’s eyes- eyes that were suddenly glistening with tears- caused by his thoughtless words.—————-(now with a cute epilogue, too!)

Memories by radioactive_storm @mala-sadas

When Tony snapped his fingers and saved the universe, there were consequences. Instead of losing his life, he lost an arm…and his memories. And Peter Parker may be the only person who can help him get them back.

Porcelain by macabre

She constantly calls Tony a child of excess and Peter a child of absence. It makes Tony cringe every time. “He’s not used to having all of these things, and the things that he was offered in previous foster situations came at a price. You know this. Just be careful.”

Becoming Belonging by sahiya

Peter barely remembered the week after he came back, five years and two minutes after dying on Titan. But he did remember this: looking at Morgan Stark and feeling––to his immediate shame––wildly, insanely jealous that Morgan had had those five years with Tony and Peter hadn’t.

Sunlight by ArdenSkyeHolmes221 @ardenskyedarcy221b

“Stop pouting and ignoring me. You’re giving me a complex.”“I am— I’m not pouting,” he sputters, avoiding his father’s gaze.“Oooh, but you are ignoring me.”***Or the one where Peter struggles reintegrating in his own life after his dad lived five years without him.

What We Lose in the Fire We Gain in the Flood by xxx_cat_xxx @xxx-cat-xxx

The universe is saved, Thanos is defeated, the Vanished are returned, and Tony has survived (though with severe radiation burns and one less arm). Everything should be good now - except that it isn’t.While Tony embarks on a painful and frustrating recovery, he wrestles with the fear that he’s no longer capable of caring for his family. Meanwhile, Peter tries to find his place in a world that just doesn’t feel like his own anymore.

From now on by peterparkr @peterparkrr

Peter’s fixating on the tie.It’s red. Hot rod red, Tony said. It doesn’t look right. Maybe it’s too long. Tony said it looked fine in the store. It doesn’t look like it had that day anymore. Peter can’t stop fiddling with it.ORPeter's sure that Tony and Pepper's wedding will change everything

I wouldn’t drink that if I were you, kid by Lequia

In which Peter Parker feels abandoned, Tony Stark manages to screw things up even more, and DUM-E may or may not have found another fire extinguisher.

breathe by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa

Morgan looks mortified. “What? No!” she exclaims, holding out her hand against Peter’s chest. “You can’t kill a spider.”Peter frowns, brow furrowed. He’s not spent a lot of time around kids, ever, but he’s never met one that actually likes spiders. Hell, he hasn’t met anyone who likes spiders. Peter himself doesn’t even like spiders, and a spider is the one that gave him a six pack. “Huh?”“They're good luck! Don't you know?”He's not sure he does.(canon-compliant, post endgame)

A Heart Grows (With More People To Love) by josywbu

When there's a newborn Stark on the horizon Peter starts to question his place in the family he has come to view as his own.Good thing Tony has an abundance of parenting books at his disposal and knows exactly (kind of) what to do.

A Tremendous Thing by ExpectoPatronum

“Daddy's read this to me hundreds of times,” Morgan confesses around a yawn, snuggling closer until she can see the first illustration clearly, “but he accidentally ripped out the ending, so it doesn’t have any pictures.”Startled, Peter flips ahead to the last chapters of the book -- sure enough, the final two chapters are missing. “Are you sure you want to read this one?”By the time Tony checks in on the pair of them, Wilbur is beginning to feel lonely in his pen, Peter’s arm is full of pins-and-needles and Morgan is fast asleep.——Peter spends Father's Day at the lake house. He tries not to overthink it.

#fic rec list #insecure!peter

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pillowbelphs · 4 years

Text

Happy Ever After

Genre: Angst (?), kind of sad, a little bit of fluff at the end :o

word count: 1.1k

@coalbuff0w0 asked: Can I get angst seven with asmo please!

Angst Prompt #7: “I love you.” “No you don’t” from this list

if you have any other requests, feel free to drop them in my inbox!!

xoxo moon

Asmo was a very loving demon. He had always loved everyone around him from the time he was young, and he was never afraid to show that he loved them. He gave them everything he had; he would give them physical affection, food, jewelry, anything their heart desired—anything for the ones he loved. He throws himself into relationships all too easily, and he’s never been afraid to admit that.

The thought of true love, though, had never crossed his mind.

Satan had brought the subject up to him one day, asking Asmo if he thought he would ever find his true love.

“I find new loves everywhere around me, Satan! It’s hard not to love me, you know?”

“I know, but I meant in a forever type of way. None of our relationships have ever lasted. Some demons are simply meant to be alone, and I don’t know if that’s me or if it isn’t.”

The thought had never came into Asmo’s mind; surely he would find someone who would want to spend the rest of their life with him, right? He would never end up all alone, there was too much for people to love about him, so surely he would find someone who would love him for him.

Right?

The thought of being alone plagued Asmo’s mind for the rest of the day. Sure, there were times he felt lonely, but he never felt alone or unloved. It was impossible to feel alone when he had so many people so ready to give him love.

He had called around old flames of his, wondering where he went wrong, or why the relationship didn’t last, and they all shared the same answer; it wasn’t that Asmo wasn’t lovable, but the complete opposite—Asmo was too lovable, and it made it hard for people to stay with him.

He had never thought that the aspect of his personality that he loved so much would be such a hinderance to him and his relationships.

He began to overthink, the many thoughts swirling in his head telling him all of the things he didn’t want to hear; who would ever love someone who never feels satisfied? What type of person looks at another while on a date with someone else? Who would love Asmo’s sin, when it made him almost unable to give his whole to someone willingly?

Who would ever love him?

It was a scary thought. For the longest time, Asmo thought that the love that he was given was fine; but in reality, it was just a shallow love to pass the time. He thought that one day, surely, he would find someone to settle down with, because it was impossible for him to perceive himself without his happily ever after.

Yet, when he closed his eyes now, he couldn’t see what he saw before.

Was he meant to be with someone? Or was he meant to be alone?

For the first time, he had felt alone.

He hadn’t risen from his bed by the time you came into his room later that evening.

“Asmo?” you asked, speaking into the darkness of his bedroom, “Are you in here?”

you turned on his light, which only caused him to groan. You walked over to his bed, taking his hand as he sat with head in his pillow.

“My love,” you said softly, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not your love.”

His voice had never sounded so cold. Not to you, anyway.

You had been dating Asmo officially for six months. It wasn’t a long time, but it was a long time coming in the eyes of the other brothers, who had been pushing you to accept his offer of taking you out on a date.

“What do you mean?” you asked, softly squeezing his hand. Without another word, he pulled his hand away.

You sat in silence for a second, not knowing exactly what to do in this situation. Usually, when he was upset, he would want you to hold him, but now, he was shying away from your touch. You didn’t want to upset him by touching him more, so instead, you decided to give him more vocal affirmation.

“I love you.”

“No, you don’t.”

You looked at him in shock complete shock, watching as he turned his back from you. “What do you mean by that?”

“Who could ever truly love me? You’ll end up getting hurt, just like everybody else has. You should just go before I hurt you, too.”

“Asmo, please tell me why you’re saying all of this,” you pleaded softly. “I have never thought once that you would hurt me.”

“But, what about my sin?” He said, now sitting up and facing you. His face was puffy, and his eyes were red—it was obvious that he’d been crying for hours, but he wasn’t trying to hide it like he normally would. “I can’t help but love other people. I look at other people, I flirt with other people. It hurts to be with me, doesn’t it?”

“I’ve never been hurt,” you said, scooting closer to him to rest your hand on his cheek. “I know that you have a lot of love to give, Asmo. I would never have said yes to you if I didn’t think I could handle it.”

“But, why?” you wiped away his fresh tears with your thumb, his words breaking softly as he diverted his eyes for your gaze. “Why do you love me? How can you love me?”

“I love you because you love everyone whole-heartedly,” you said, scooting a bit closer to him again, “You aren’t afraid to put your heart out on the line for people you love, and I find that very admirable. I don’t know who put the thought into your head that your sin was bad, but I love that you aren’t afraid to love. And I know that even if you playfully flirt with others, that at the end of the day, you’re going to be coming home to me and giving me all of the love you have.”

“But,” he said, his cheeks now flushing, “What about the future?”

“What do you mean, my love?”

He looked at you. “Can you see a future with me? A happily ever after?”

You smiled at him, nodding gently as your free hand went to his other cheek, “I wouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with you if I didn’t see a future with you, Asmo.”

Asmo felt his heart swell at your words; you completely contradicted everything everyone else, including himself, had told him—and yet, your words were so sincere and filled with love, he knew he could believe you.

Without another word, he pulled you into a hug. He couldn’t help but squeeze you, which made you giggle.

“Asmo, you’re suffocating me!”

“I love you, too,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

It was then he realized; he had found his true love.

#obey me #obey me scenario #obey me scenarios #obey me headcanon #obey me headcanons #asmodeus #asmodeus x mc #asmodeus x reader #obey me asmodeus #asmodeus headcanons #asmodeus imagines #asmo #asmo x reader #asmo x mc #asmo imagines #asmo headcanons

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hornime · 4 years

Text

hq as my discovery weekly | part one

warnings: this is completely sfw, combo of fluff and angst

characters included: kenma, akaashi, oikawa, suna, koganegawa, ushijima, bokuto, kuroo, hinata, kita, terushima, iwaizumi, osamu, kageyama, sakusa

a/n: this was a random idea i thought of but i think it’ll be really cute haha. maybe you guys’ll find some new songs in the process! totally encourage anyone to use this idea if they want cus this was super fun to write!

playing... one through fifteen / sixteen through thirty

↪ “cotton candy lemonade" by blu detiger: kenma kozume

i've been up too long, something's wrong / watch the rising sun / turning all my nights to days

i've been on my own, come find me now / i'm lonely to the bone / but I don't feel so low when you're around / let's run away from home

you'll bе my kaleidoscope, my color in this life / watching thе world fade away

kenma is not the most extroverted and he’s in his head a lot, so he’s someone that might not always see the ‘color’ in things that exist around him. but when it comes to you, well, you’re someone that makes him look up from his screen a little longer than usual.

↪ “love affair” by umi: akaashi keiji

don't overthink this is love / maybe it's just a crush

i hope what I feel is enough / maybe this is just lies

i wanna know how to feel, what to feel, what's right / i never know / 'cause when it gets real, I just run away / and hide from you

akaashi gets anxiety. he used to be certain about a lot of things—his intelligence, his skill, his happiness, but most important to him was his feelings for you. he’s overthinking again, he knows it, but he’s getting an uncontrollable itch that maybe this is all in his head; he doesn’t love you, he just think he does. but when you’re in his arms, breathing even and eyes fluttered shut, he remembers what you always told him: it doesn’t matter what he knows, it matters what he feels. and he feels like the luckiest man alive.

↪ “coke” by iii addicts, danice: oikawa tooru

come closer, i been eyeing you from way over / so it's time i come for some closure

had to let her know that you could lick this / shake it up, it's gonna probably gon' bust

why, tell me why / why am i not satisfied / every time i cross that line / i feel it, i feel it

oikawa feels like tantalus: a man constantly reaching for a goal just out of reach, straining his muscles and screaming his voice hoarse just for a glimpse of an unattainable destiny. he’s desperate to get ahead, and while he may be running at top speed at all times, the finish line doesn’t seem to be getting any closer. his worst fear is that, some time he’ll slow his pace and look back and realize he hasn’t gotten very far at all.

↪ “baby powder” by jenevieve: suna rintaro

i'll put up with you babe / there's somethings I won't take / baby don't feel me false / yeah that turns me off

you're making me so high now / you're everything I'd ever want / you're keeping me so dry now / you're everything I'd never want uh

plastic on the floor but it ain't for me / ima go up to the place that i'd rather be

suna is straightforward. he won’t deal with your bullshit, and he learns that you won’t deal with his either, which makes you so appealing. when he starts letting more and more of you in, he feels you slipping through his fingers. you wanted to be friends, so you treat him as one. he doesn’t remember when he started wanting more.

↪ “chandelier (instrumental version)” by paquin: koganegawa kanji

instrumental so no lyrics lol

koganegawa is bubbly. he’s a bouncer: he bounces between social circles, bounces colors behind his eyes, and bounces back after adversity. he’s an amiable guy, and it’s landed him plenty of friends and opportunities, but best of all, it’s landed him you.

↪ “l-over” by u.s. girls: ushijima wakatoshi

my lover has no heart / magic moving blood around that body / he's cool to the touch / i don't see him much / but when I do, he does nothing for me

can you imagine trying to get / some satisfaction out of a stone?

spare me any talk of your future life / i don't know what I'll do without you

ushijima is stubborn. he’s deadset on achieving his goals for the future, and if you can’t work with them, you better work around them. you’re tired of how he grounds you; you thought it was a blessing at first, having a guy that knew what he wanted and would always act as a constant in your life, but you’ve started to see that he’s not a lighthouse anymore, he’s an anchor. he’s an anchor that’s chaining you to the ocean floor and will drown you if you, even for a second, stop kicking your legs to stay afloat.

↪ “magic!” by リアムMAZE1981: bokuto koutarou

and when you smile at me that way / well you can warm the coldest day / it's magic

and all i have to do is think of you / to make the music start to play / then i dance down the street / and the people I meet stop and say hey hey

and when you want me you just clap your hands / and I'll be with you right away / then we'll float on a breeze / while the leaves in the trees softly say hey hey / magic ways, my friend / you love the girl with magic ways and it's true / i might as well give in

bokuto is bright. he tramps around the world with the light of the sun illuminating his face. there is nothing in the universe that could ever drag him down, especially not with you around. you’ve cast some kind of spell on him, he’s sure of it, because your very presence makes him certain that he’s immortal. he must be, because when he’s with you, he’s withstanding the heat of a thousand suns that erases the darkness in every shadow, corner, and crevice of his life.

↪ “i hope that u think of me” by pity party (girls club): kuroo tetsuro

i hope that you dream of me baby / nightmares are what dreams are baby i-i-i / i think I'm fallin' out of love

you tell me that it's easy to be / you tell me that it's easy to be with me but you lie-i-i / why do you lie all the time?

kuroo is focused. he takes note of everything when he’s working on a task, down to dotting the ‘i’s and crossing the ‘t’s. he often finds himself with tunnel vision, unable to think of anything but the current responsibility at the top of his every-growing to-do list. somewhere along the way, he lost track of you—must’ve loosened his grip on your hand and your fingers fell through empty space. he’d look for you, back in the void, but he’s busy. he keeps moving, unaware that you’ve turned back, walking in the opposite direction as him to find the life before him that you barely remember.

↪ “the leanover” by life without buildings: hinata shoyo

kiss me, break my mind, close the door / black steel, break my mind, close the door

if i lose you in the street / i say, i say, i say, i say, i say, i say / wassup, wassup with you? / wassup with your friends?

hinata is unfazed. he knows that, when things go bad, there’ll always be something there to right them. so when your paths diverge—maybe your schedules don’t work out, your dates get canceled, your nights home become more and more sparse—he’s not worried. not one bit. because at the end of the night, he knows that you’ll always find your way back to one another, and you’ll always greet him with open arms. and he’ll always do the same.

↪ “ladyfingers - edit” by funding secured: kita shinsuke

instrumental so no lyrics lol

kita is polished. he works hard during the day to be with you at night, dancing in little circles in the small kitchen of your shared home. he looks at you with fondness and appreciation, thanking his stars a million times over for granting him with someone like you. he’s a tree, stable in the harshest of gales, but even trees like to sway with the wind sometimes.

↪ “black madonna” by cage the elephant: terushima yuuji

makes no difference here, so let's be real / black madonna, my black flower / nowhere left to run, nowhere left to hide / you're not havin' fun, i think that you should ride

climb so high, don't hear a sound / don't you forget what goes around, comes around / climb so high, tell me how to feel

call me when you're ready to be real / black madonna, my hallelujah

terushima is hedonistic. he’s never concerned himself with thoughts of the future, or of the past, or of anything, really. all he can think about is making each moment as willing to be lived as possible. you, on the other hand, are practical, too practical in his opinion, and he wants you to let loose, lighten up a little bit. maybe in the long run, it won’t be the best idea to let him take you by the hand and on a midnight adventure, but you haven’t thought that far ahead yet. guess he’s already rubbing off on you.

↪ “mother nature’s bitch” by okay kaya: iwaizumi hajime

everybody / please give a warm welcome to / to this current mood

here i am / easy to please / here i am / okay with it

here i am / desperate for attention / here i am / being mother nature's bitch

iwaizumi is hardworking. he does the best he can with everything he tries; sometimes that amounts to something and sometimes it doesn’t. most times it doesn’t fulfill his expectations, as high as they are. when you’re around, his borderline hatred for himself disappears. when you’re there to tell him how great he’s doing, the tension in his shoulders dissipates.

↪ “smithereens” by rasharn powell, ab001: miya osamu

found my power / and my brethren / in a tussle with the world itself

see if I’m david, you’re goliath / there’s some power in defiance / put my heart in a slingshot / we been cycling away for days

searching for freedom always / likeness of an orgasm been had / empty with a peace that just don’t last / petite mort, then born again

osamu is pioneering. he opened a small business and eventually branched out, managing chains of his restaurant across the nation. it may not be a flashy job, but it’s a solid one, and a draining one. there are days of back-to-back shifts, afternoons overwhelming catering orders, and nights spent sleeping over on a cot near the kitchen. when he dreams, curled up with the smell of onigri still lingering in the air, he can only think of ‘what if’ he’d chosen another path, a path with a more obvious end, a more obvious definition of glory. but he still wakes up at dawn, conquering his own corner of the sky, knowing that his life, while it may be small, is not insignificant.

↪ “must be” by lou phelps: kageyama tobio

must be the henny on the ice / must be the diamonds that I buy / might be the shit that I write / whatever a n**** do and say, that's what I like

i'm on the cloud as i walk the front door / that's a boost, that's true, that's loo

yeah, um, i'mma need my space / 'cause you's a bum-bum, can't be standing next to me, uh / forgive me for my sins / don't tell me this is wrong if it feels right

kageyama is cocky. he’s good at what he does, amazing, actually, and he sure as hell knows it. he’s surrounded by people that make him better, people that he makes better, and he can’t think of a place he’d rather be. he’s on his way to carve his way into the moon and he’s not going to tolerate anyone that wants to keep him on earth.

↪ “jealous” by eyedress: sakusa kiyoomi

you could have anyone you want / why would you want to be with me? / you know, I'm nothing special

don't tell me about your problems / if you're not trying to solve them / don't ask me for my help

sakusa is independent. he’s not one to see himself as part of someone else’s orbit, opting to act like a random rock, floating in space with no origin and no destination. he’s worried that, if he gets too close to you, he’ll end up getting drawn in by your gravity and either crash land or burn up. neither seems appealing, and the idea of a safe encounter hasn’t even crossed his mind, so he’s going to keep moving on an endless trek towards the stars.

#haikyuu!!#haikyu #hq #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #kenma #akaashi #oikawa #suna #koganegawa #ushijima #bokuto #kuroo #hinata

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regrettablewritings · 4 years

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Peter B. Parker Pre-Relationship Headcanons

A/N: Why? Because it’s my blog, I love Peter B. Parker, and not enough people are still writing for him.

How did they first meet?: Normally, people in apartments prefer to keep to themselves. New Yorkers are especially not an exception. But it’s a little hard to avoid meeting someone whose crying you can hear going on through the thin walls of your cheap apartment -- no matter how much you may want to. Maybe the delivery person was tired and misread the address, but they wound up delivering an extra-large pizza to your door instead of the one to the right of your place -- the one where at any given moment, you could be hearing crying, a phone alarm clock going off for way too long, or an animal documentary playing. Pettiness told you to just keep the pie for yourself as revenge for him being such a weirdass, whoever he was. But the decent person you really were reminded you that doing that wouldn’t really accomplish anything. Besides: If the dude is already crying so often, why make it even worse by stealing his pizza? Sighing heavily, you shuffled over to your mysteriously somber neighbor to try to do the right thing . . .

What was their first impression of each other?: To be perfectly frank, not good. Peter had made his first impression to you before you’d even met him -- and you thought he was a weirdass! That, or really depressed. Given the apartment building you both lived in, it could very easily have been both. But when he opened that door, revealing himself to be a very tired-looking 30-something, you knew it was probably more the latter. And even though it was technically your third impression of him, the sour expression he wore with the equally unpleasant curtness over how you weren’t the delivery kid left a bitter taste in your mouth. The aftertaste stuck with you, tainting your thoughts of him for weeks on after. So it really shocked you when he reappeared after going silent for about a week, having seemingly done a complete 180. No, not seemingly -- had! As it turned out, his time in Miles’ dimension had caused Peter to become more introspective. Both on his life, and how he wound up treating others in it. Including you. He felt pretty bad for how things had started off. In hindsight, he was coming from a pretty dark and arguably even selfish place. Heck, the first thoughts he had of you (annoying, a nuisance) weren’t even based in reality: Rather, they had been muddled by his own cynicism and depression. And he really did regret that it never transformed properly beyond that, even during the scattered few times you would see one another as you left or returned to your respective apartments. When he tried to start over, being kinder, his impression of you was someone who was guarded -- as you had every right to be. It would take some time and a lot more mellowing before he learned that you were more of a shy, concerned person at the heart of things.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?: Peter honestly didn’t know how much he should let the others know about when it came to you. Was it really appropriate to use the cross-dimensional communication system to reveal that he not only was no longer involved with MJ on a romantic level, but also was potentially eyeing somebody new? No, but the disturbingly insightful Noir caught on and demanded that Peter come clean after using some detective mumbo-jumbo about how his pupil dilation indicated the presence of another woman in his life. Everyone to both Peter’s relief and embarrassment is supportive of this new chapter in his life, gently jabbing at how incredible it was for such an “old-timer” to put himself back out there. Even though the usage of “leap of faith” made his cheeks burn (how dare his own protégé once again use the phrase against him), part of Peter couldn’t help but wonder where such a leap might take him. Or if this was a leap he should even take. You, on the other hand, try to keep your budding attraction to your neighbor a secret from your loved ones. Yes, you’re a grown-ass woman, but that doesn’t make it any easier that you’re crushing a little higher than you normally do, age-wise. But eventually, the strain of bottling it up (coupled with your friends’ pestering) let to you coming clean. Of course, there were a lot of initial taunts on the matter but once that had calmed down, they were surprisingly supportive. “It’s New York,” they reasoned. “We’ve got some weirdo in a red suit swinging around and shooting webs -- you getting with your older neighbor is one of the most normal things that could ever happen in this city.” A fair point. But still, you had some concerns . . .

Who felt romantic feelings first?: You did, and the realization of it made you convinced you must have Daddy Issues floating around somewhere, though it was debatable to you if Peter could even qualify as a Daddy. You don’t even know where or when it started! (And frankly, you’re not sure if you want to because the chances that it happened when he was horking down on something is just too big a risk to take.) And even though you knew stranger things have happened, this was something you never would have guessed when you once humored the idea of meeting your “one true love” in New York City.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?: You both did, and both had a laundry list of excuses reasons as to why you did. Yours started with the age gap, continued with things such as being worried he saw you as immature, and didn’t so much end as it did thud to a conclusion at your inner conviction that his heart still belonged to his ex-wife. And Peter didn’t even know where to begin with his. Most would probably suggest the fact that he was Spider-Man, but he would beg to differ. Yeah, it was a big deal, but so was (at least to him) the idea of an age gap and coming across as a creepy old guy. And even beyond those was the fact that being a depressed 30-something living in a shoddy apartment with a newspaper job despite having a degree in physics. (So basically, he’s peak Millennial.) To him, it just wasn’t a good look. Besides, was it right of him to go after someone new? Was it fair to him or you? Or was that just intrusive thoughts doing the talking? Whatever it was, the poor fellow couldn’t help but feel he was at a bit beside himself. And at the end of it, the two of you were just overthinking things to the point of nearly exploding.

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?: Do you know how many strange things random people walking around New York have told the both of you? You’ve learned not to invest a whole lot of thought into it. Not gonna lie, the idea would petrify Peter on so many levels that it’s not even funny. For one, he’d spent all this time convinced that MJ was his one true love. And now the universe is telling him that there isn’t a one singular true love!? Besides, what if he messes this one up? He talked a big game about a leap of faith, but that was with familiar territory: He knew MJ and how to approach her and be with her. But you? You’re something else. Not a bad something else, but . . . not quite one he knows exactly how to approach, especially this far into the game that is his life. To be perfectly honest, he might actually try to keep some distance and hope that you aren’t aware of how the two of you are connected. He doesn’t mean to hurt you, but he doesn’t mean to hurt you, if that makes sense. Peter knows his alter ego can cause a lot of pain and strife, and it was hard enough just going through that with MJ; he doesn’t want to drag another person into that, not if he isn’t sure if they’d be ready for it. But he will keep a close eye on you. Not only because you’re a citizen of the city he swore he would protect, but now he knows you’re meant to be particularly special to him. If he can’t love you up close, then the least he can do is at least make sure you stay safe. Maybe even fed, as he sometimes knocks on your door, claiming that he ordered too much food and would like to give you some. Perhaps he leaves a bag on your doorknob full of spices you may have wanted or coupons for things he thinks you might need, knowing that you’re probably scrimping and saving just as much as he is. Just little things to assure that you’re fine, seeing as he surely couldn’t do so as yours. . . . Right? See, the funny thing about soulmates is that while it comes down to the individuals what they can try to do about it, the bond between them will always been inevitable, given the right circumstances. So it was always inevitable that the distance would be worn away by the man who put them there. It was always inevitable that Peter would enjoy your company, and you his. What wasn’t inevitable was the fact that Peter would be standing in the middle of a bodega, reaching for a pack of candy he thought you might like, pause, and then silently curse himself. Whether he knew it or not, he took a leap of faith. And now he was in far too deep to get out.

#peter b parker x reader #peter b parker imagines #peter parker x reader #peter b parker imagine #spiderman into the spiderverse imagines #spiderman itsv imagines #spiderman imagines #spiderman imagine #spiderman into the spiderverse imagine #regrettablewritings #character ship meme #character headcanon meme #as you can see i am clearly beating myself up in public -- save me spiderman!!!

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