#was gonna post this tomorrow but whatev im up now
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pcktknife · 9 months ago
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why was she so big
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venomgaia · 1 year ago
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Guys that go bump in the night
(minorly inspired by @karniss-bg3 's response to this ask)
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whumpy-wyrms · 10 months ago
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just spent 4 hours building Anton’s lab in minecraft and i’m done and it’s soooo cool you guys it’s just like how i imagined (obviously as close as i could get cuz it’s minecraft). gonna build Anton’s cabin above it next but i’ll probably post screenshots of the lab tomorrow so you guys can actually see how i imagine it (cuz it’s hard for me to draw it). if anyone wants to join my world and explore it (bedrock edition only, sorry) feel free to message me!!! like seriously i don’t bite!!!! i love playing minecraft with people :DDD
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oflgtfol · 7 months ago
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ok so i hate writing intelligent posts abt malevolent bc im scared of posting theories that are stupid and wrong but like. im feeling that the eponymous fallen star of the order of the fallen star. is john. like this is a cult not about the king in yellow like that in season 1, but instead about the “fallen star” that fragmented off the king. Augh
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the-kipsabian · 4 months ago
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took me six labels to print before i realized i could print these directly on sticker paper and skip like two steps in this process of getting them to be ready for shipping
im so smart rn
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#just an observation bc im avoiding working on stuff but i draw a lot and post basically everything i draw thst gets finished#and its v funny to me how u can tell how out of focus i was based on the quality of the drawing#or like when i post something and its like ok some of that was good but u def gave up halfway thru one of those lol#inconsistency i funny like that. its also funny to me that now a days i get comments like COLORS!!!#which is funny bc i notoriously haaaaaate coloring. like i will sit around whining and complaining when im home with my parents bc i dont#wanna color. its just so easy to fuck things up when u draw traditionally and it takes a million years so its a big ask lol#but i guess i dont hate is so much right now bc i kinda just slap whatever colors i want together like fuck it we ball#and thats kinda fun. reckless i suppose#its agony when u wanna try to do shadows and lights tho. like finding references ugh#or wanting to draw big ideas but then its like oh god its gonna take so long and if i dont do it all in one sitting i might die#im a lil better abt thst now bc it would b impossible but in my head i still hate it#ugh. all i wanna do is draw. theres another universe where i went to art school. or just like took art classes. and i wanna say id b happier#but thats def a lie XD i like learning too much and i dont have the attention span to hardcore learn genetics outside an academic#environment. and i got way too excited abt exploring the genetic traits of my cyano species#like i can make genetics trees for traits and look for. fuck. i forgot the word. how tf did i forget the word. oh god. horizontal gene#transfer. jesus christ its like theres a hole in my brain. well. i guess i did get only like 4hrs sleep. ugh im rambling.#i need to finish getting ready for Monday so i dont have to tomorrow and ill have time to draw. prob wont stop me feeling nauseous abt#teaching tho. OH FUCK. i just remembered i have a new office space now to decorate. fuck i need to hang up pictures and stuff#what would b the funniest way to put narut0 on my deskspace? idk ill have to think abt it. oh god im not ready#my head is like a handbell. one of the big ones when u ring it and it hits soft and u can feel the vibrations. someones wrung my head lol#unrelated
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hauntedtotem · 7 months ago
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I think the biggest red flag for me regarding the hopelesspeaches and lio convoy stuff, their entire group (especially lio) has near identical speech patterns and dynamics as my mom's online friend group. Which is less of a red flag and more of a raging wildfire tbh
#I listened to all the calls when they 'leaked' but I didn't know they were leaks I thought lio posted that stuff proudly#I didn't know that they weren't meant to be seen by the public until just now lol#Anyways I'm pleasantly surprised people are talking about how fucked up they were#Bc tbh when I was like 'oh this makes peaches (and everyone else) look like a bitch kinda' the first time I heard the calls-#I thought I was maybe being too judgey or sensitive or something?#But now everyone else is like 'yeah they are all being bitches actually' im like. Oh! So I understood right and wasn't just overreacting#Mostly bc lio was ranting about being a conservative Christian and weird 'nuclear family values' on one call and my immediate thought was#'oh gross Im too biased against this man to be able to look at this-#-discussion objectively. I'm gonna think he sucks regardless of the situation and therefore idk lf im a fair judge ?'#So it's cool to get confirmation from other ppl saying 'oh no ur right he sucks and here's why'#this is the 2nd time this week I got 'no youre not just overreacting. Other ppl are upset too' validation abt a topic. cool#//shade#I'm sure there's plenty of found family groups online that are great but so many of the ones i hear abt feel like a cult imo#My mom is in a group where this dude calls her and other women there his daughters like lio does to peaches and it feels gross to me idk#Ik everyone craves found family connections but. Idkk it feels weird to be taking that in a literal sense and calling them dad/my daughter#Feels like introducing unnecessary power dynamics.#Theres a difference between 'oh this person is like family to me because we're so close'#vs 'oh i am adopting this person and assuming a parental position over them'. that sounds unhealthy I think ?#Edit I just found out lio posted a response but it's midnight and I have a date tomorrow I'm not watching that rn lol#imo both him and peaches are bad and idc if one is worse than the other or whatever.#Peaches has been two faced for a while; lio might've taken advantage of her bc he's kinda creepy. They're both saying the other abused them#This is like jade and julian talking shit about each other to me. Idc guys I hate both of u srry <3#Iykyk
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sickmachete · 1 year ago
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what's happening tomorrow ? good luck for whatever it is !
ah !! thank youuu it's nothing big i just have a lot of things i needa get done before the weekend :-)
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helloidkwhatimdoing-0 · 2 years ago
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I've been trying to get myself to revise all weekend but im clearly burnt out and clearly struggling with my executive dysfunction so I know I should just give myself a break, but I left my revision till the last minute again, so if i don't revise now then I'll have to go into a test having done no revision, so I'll probably fail, and like, yeah it's only finance, but thats the problem, it's only finance, and its gonna make me sound like a stuck up bitch but thats why i can't fucking fail it, like failing any of my subjects already makes me want the ground to swallow me up, but failing finance??? Failing arguably the easiest fucking subject i do, the one thats nowhere near as important and difficult as the others? I think I'd throw up, I'd cry and I'd throw up and I'd be so mortifyingly embarrassed, but now i don't know if I'll pass or fail or what because i didn't do any fucking revision because I'm burnt out because I've had so many fucking tests for no reason and I'm so fucking tired and fuck
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vse-kar-vem · 8 months ago
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hihi vent post incoming (tldr im pretty sure everyone hates me and also im gonna fail all my exams)
#first off i did NOT end up studying! probable executive dysfunction went and got me again! i only managed to study a tiny but before and#now im procrastinating. again. killing myself ! 😁 im actually gonna fail rs tomorrow like who CARES about rs ofuhrkdkfkf it's bad. it's so#bad im in the trenches rn .....#i can physically feeling my brain shriveling the longer i spend online maybe if i finish typing i can get it together and start fucking stu#dying!!!!!!#second this whole i keep posting things then immediately getting second thoughts and deleting 😭😭😭 like its so embarrassing on twitter#discord tumblr everything????? can i not talk to people in a calm and measured fashion???? WHY do i keep typos ???? i am so socially inept#it's not even funny. im sooo fucked#maybe i am a teen going through and it's the hormones making me overthjnk everything buttt#i want normal pills!!!! i dont wanna get diagnosed for anything i just wanna try some medication and see if it fixes me !!! please!!!!!!!!#i.actually need to study or im fucked#so#uh#yeah#id much rather fail rs than history cuz i like history so i have to be normal by tomorrow wish me liuck!!!!!!!#ok so maybe this ventpost is not sad and upset more overwhelmed and angy at myself. whatever! I SHOULDNT HAVE WASTED ALL OF LAST NIGHT#DRAWING FUKDHFKDKFK#wish i could just undo today cant lie 😭 taken a WALK at least instead of languishing but now its 10 pm and im running out of time#im continueing to waste time on tumblr ok no. i AM going to study#vee rambles#proofread this .... also typo ridden! im stupid and i cant speak english someone pulverize me !#also my bried venture onto twitter .... disastrous . i think i've turned many people from neutral or even positive about me to firmly#irritated. great! classic me fikejfldlflslmglslf < keysmash of anger
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angelsofsmalld3ath · 1 year ago
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*SCREAMS*
look at the tags for context aka to see me at my big age talk about a horror game made for teenagers
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taxed-up-trotter · 8 months ago
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Bonus panel + info dumping
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i was gonna render this today but then i remembered i have finales tomorrow but i really wanted to post this today and then it hit me that i am bound by no rules and i can post whatever i want, finished or not JHJKHDSF (i will probably come back later tomorrow to finish this though)
OK SO ANYWAYS this is my first time posting anything story related about my hanahaki + amnesia au so lemme introduce it to you :P
So in this au lamb chose to give up the crown for narinders freedom, however he isnt happy about this, he knows he should but all he feels is guilt and the 2 got into a conflict of "This isnt right, i dont want you to sacrifice your life for me." and "My life is not worth your freedom."
long story short they both came to an agreement (to the cats dismay) and narinder guided the lamb to the afterlife, EXCEPT this isnt really the afterlife, but its sort of like purgatory, lamb cant rest yet cause they still have unresolved feelings for narinder so they had the option to either accept it, leaving them to the actual after life or deny it, leaving them to reincarnate. lamb ofc chose the latter
They wake up centuries later in an unknown place with their memories wiped out not too long after they stubled upon a graveyard of some sorts and found a cat holding a bouquet while standing next to a grave labelled "lambert"
lamb asked where they are and after a bit of shellshock from narinder he finally responded the 2 quickly became acquainted (though he doesnt tell lamb abt his true identity) w/ each other, narinder offers lamb a place to stay
JSHDKFD thats all i could tell u in this post for now, im not used to info dumping myself so im sorry if tis sounds confusing HDSF
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newtkive · 10 months ago
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shift shenanigans - s1 social media au
note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.
warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry
part two
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liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others
chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁
see all 8 comments
syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n
↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me
↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///
marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.
↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular
↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start
richietheking: Where am I?
↳ chefboyardee: ya motha
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liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others
richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.
see all 8 comments
marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.
↳ richietheking: You already know it man.
syd_adamu: this is actually crazy
carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.
↳ richietheking: Delete your life.
chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑���we are 🔛🔝
↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.
↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.
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WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩
[ 8:25 am ]
y/n:
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bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.
marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy
DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.
syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school
DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.
y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie
richie poo: ????? What
y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols
marcus: valid
syd: real
richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude
y/n: cuz you piss me off
and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday
richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.
syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?
richie poo: Fuck off.
y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.
marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n
y/n: don’t remind me
syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas
richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook
tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.
syd: hey! i’m just being helpful
y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings
marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares
y/n: great i’m gonna cry now
syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine
richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.
y/n: oh great
tina: Help us all.
syd: be nice you guys
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WORK
[ 9:15 am ]
carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression
y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳
syd: ok sounds good
richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media
tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??
carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts
marcus: facebook is crazy
richie poo: I can’t go private
y/n: he needs the likes
richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why
y/n: liar
richie poo: 😑I don’t like you
carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.
marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie
carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.
richie poo: Fine, whatever
y/n: carmy
carmy: What, Y/n?
y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real
carmy: I don’t care Y/n.
y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’
oh
syd: ? why the oh
y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes
carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later
y/n: OMG yes chef 😍
richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work
y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass
jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face
carmy: Stop
y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳
i heard your giggle tho
richie poo: Again with the schizo episode
syd: you can’t say that richie
richie poo: Oh sorry
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love-belle · 1 year ago
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i love u forever !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's a baker and he's in love — even with a few incidents involved.
or
for when you want to spend the rest of your life laughing with them. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // carlos sainz x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - hiiiii :) back in my active era mid term is OVERRRRR !!!!! will be posting max's version for how u get the girl soon <3 i love u sm thank you so much for reading :)
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, lilymhe and 785,527 others
yourusername not pictured - carlos almost dropping the cake with LIT candles on my lap
tagged carlossainz55
7,628 comments
username OH MY GOD
username why are u so pretty
username CARLOS PLEASE WHAT
username he should come with a hazard warning
*liked by yourusername*
username SHE'S SO ADORABLE WHATTFFUCJ
username i wanna keep u in my pocket and feed u berries
-> yourusername omg
charles_leclerc i thought you learnt your lesson after the oven incident
-> yourusername it was a moment of weakness, i have definitely learnt my lesson now
-> username the oven incident????
-> username don't be shy drop the details 😁
username that is so carlos of carlos
username NAHH THIS MAN NEEDS TO BE STOPPED
-> username FRRRR like i thought that spatula incident on her ig live would be enough to convince her
landonorris knowing carlos, i'm surprised he didn't actually drop the cake
-> yourusername he got so damn close to it
username she's so cute i wanna bite her
-> yourusername please don't
-> lilymhe yeah only i can do that
-> carlossainz55 say what now
-> yourusername my love LOOK AWAY
username lily and y/n never beating the gfs allegations
username SHE'S SOOOOO PRETTY LIKE
username omw to wife her up ☺️
carlossainz55 keyword ALMOST
-> yourusername there shouldn't be an almost at all
carlossainz55 so pretty
-> yourusername all you
carlossainz55 mi amor ( my love )
-> yourusername ❤️❤️❤️
carlossainz55 i love you but please stop making me your assistant in baking
-> yourusername i will stop at MUFFIN
-> landonorris i giggled
-> carlossainz55 no that was bad
-> yourusername LMFAOAOA SORRY
username hahahahah!!! hellO there
username died gone deceased six feet under decomposing rotting
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, danielricciardo and 879,625 others
carlossainz55 of course she had to stop and take pictures
tagged yourusername
7,829 comments
username AHHHHH SO CUTE
username actual parents
username OAKSJSJSHDJSISKSKDKS
username and i cried
username ME WHEN.
carmenmmundt love 💒💓
*liked by carlossainz55*
username SHE'S ADORABLE
username no bc my life's purpose is to go to her bakery like i HAVE to
username no bc they're THE f1 couple and i love them so ❤️❤️❤️❤️ and she's soooo sweet like hello
-> username NAH BC I MET HER IN LONDON AND SHE'S SOOOO SWEET LIKE AN IRL ANGEL
-> yourusername OMGGG UR THE GIRL WITH THE BLUE TOTE I LOVE U
-> username SHUT UP U REMEMBER ME
-> yourusername I STILL HAVE UR NECKLACE I WEAR IT EVERYDAY
-> username OMGJAJSJSKSKS IM GONNA CRY ILYSMSMSMSMSMS
charles_leclerc tell her i miss her and that she needs to bake those macaroons again
-> carlossainz55 she says no
-> charles_leclerc see i KNOW she would never say that
-> yourusername charles!!!!! come over tomorrow!!!!!! i'll bake whatever u want and bring alex 🤍
-> alexandrasaintmleux i love you 🤍
username i NEED to know if carlos is still her taste tester bc i know my man was suffering when she was still a beginner
-> username fr like he was out here fighting for his life everyday
username time to hug a tree at 283 mph
username seriously i deserve someone like this wtfff
username carlos ur catching these hands idgaf
landonorris please bring her apple pie
-> carlossainz55 no
-> yourusername yes******* i'll send some with carlos 🫶🏼
-> lilymhe you're not coming to the next race 💔💔💔
-> yourusername no im sorry my love💔💔💔💔
-> carlossainz55 no don't call her my love
-> lilymhe okayyyy stay salty
username listen im soooo happy for y'all but i DON'T need to be reminded that im painfully single every time i open this app
yourusername ofc i had to
-> carlossainz55 of course you did
yourusername why the last photo.
-> carlossainz55 my favourite ❤️
-> yourusername bye
yourusername i loveeeee you
-> carlossainz55 same
-> yourusername 🤺 say 🤺 it 🤺 back 🤺
-> carlossainz55 i loveeeeeeeeeeee you
username sigh.
username alr me when 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱
*yourusername added to their instagram stories*
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kitashousewife · 1 year ago
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“m’gettin sick,” osamu sniffles from his cocoon on the couch. ever since he got home he’s been quiet and sleepy, cuddling up with a blanket despite being hot to the touch.
one thing you’ve learned about osamu, is that he is never sick. ma always joked about how despite every illness that passed through the twins’ schools, teams, or even work; osamu made it out perfectly healthy. you’ve found this to be true. even when you’ve been at your worst, osamu’s immune system has never faltered.
“i can’t be sick,” osamu’s mumbled voice is stuffier than normal, and his nose is a rosy pink. “i got work in the mornin’.”
“not like this, you don’t,” you pour some water from the kettle into his cup and dip the tea bag inside. he waves you off.
“what? just close shop for a day? i can’t do that,” he snatches a few kleenex from the box on the counter, turning around when you raise an eyebrow at him.
“you can actually, and you should.” you slide the tea over to him before heading towards your shared bathroom. “just post something tonight to give everyone a heads up.”
osamu shuffles behind you, tea in one large palm with tufts of kleenex in the other. he huffs when he feels hot once again, flinging off his sweat shirt as quick as he can.
“but kita-“
“kita can deliver to our house, baby. we can bring the rice over a different day.”
you fold your arms and stand by the bath as it fills. osamu copies you, leaning against the doorframe with a pout.
despite being sick as a dog, he won’t go down without a fight. out of principle, of course.
“what about the special i was gonna run?”
“you can do it next week,” you test the water with your palm before adding some epsom salt in.
“what will the regulars do when they head to the store?” osamu puts his palms up dramatically and snorts when you roll your eyes.
“im heading into town tomorrow, i can put a sign in the door. trust me ‘samu, i think they will appreciate you being closed. who wants to eat onigiri from someone with a runny nose?”
he doesn’t say anything. for a minute, you think he’s finally rested his case. after he slips in the bath and lets out a comfortable sigh, he decides to put one last ditch effort in.
“produce gets delivered tomorrow! i have to be there for that!” he’s comically large in the small tub the two of you share, knees folded up as he tries to sink in. you shake your head and he groans.
“fine, fine. okay. i’ll close tomorrow. ya happy?”
“thrilled,” you place a towel next to the tub and sit down. “you need to rest, samu. the shop will be there when you’re better, i promise.”
he pouts again, but this time it’s genuine.
“but i’m never sick,” he splashes water on accident when he leans his head back against the wall. “i take good care of myself! i take my vitamins, drink lots of water, get good sleep,”
your lips tug into a smile.
“and that will help you beat whatever you have even faster. but for now, let’s take it slow okay? get plenty of sleep, heal your body, and stay home.”
osamu nods, and let’s his eyes close. he soaks for a few minutes, relishing in the relief his achey joints feel for the first time all day. while he gets ready for bed, he can’t help but feel his heart swell as he watches you grab extra blankets for his side, knowing he will probably be chilly tonight.
“i’m probably gonna sore with all this shit in my nose,” he sinks under the covers, propping his head up on the extra pillows you set up for him.
“you snore anyway,”
“do not! ya liar,” he smacks your bum when you snuggle up next to him. “don’t touch me, i’ll get ya sick. i’m real contagious,”
you place a big kiss on his forehead before getting back to your original spot.
“i’ll take my chances,” you listed to osamu’s steady heart while he falls asleep. osamu is always taking care of you, grabbing your favorite things from the shop because he’s thinking of you. carrying you when your feet hurt from the heels he told you not to wear, bringing you glasses of water because he knows you aren’t drinking enough, and never asks for anything in return.
“i love ya,” osamu whispers, half asleep and hums when you squeeze him closer.
“i love you too, samu. sleep well.”
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ateezscupid · 2 years ago
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switch yunho x f!reader? 😁
𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 ✩ 𝗃.𝗒𝗁 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋
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plot - yunho has a problem, and to solve it, he needs to lose his virginity—to you.
genre + warnings - switch!yunho, switch!reader, non!idol au, college au, vanilla sex, aphrodisiacs used, humping, masturbation, oral, fingering (f receiving), handjob, blowjob, praising, light choking, overstimulation, unprotected sex, if i missed anything lmk!
wc - 4.3k (?)
tags - @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna
a/n - I JUST REALIZED MY TUMBLR GLITCHED WHEN I POSTED THIS? i missed an entire part, oh my god.
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“dude, hongjoong just gave me these weirdo blue cookies.” mingi shoved the box toward yunho.
“what the hell? i’d expect that type of shit from wooyoung, not joong.” yunho laughed as he plopped onto the couch. mingi walked over and sat down next to him, handing him the box.
“apparently they’re cookies that make you super horny. i don’t get why hongjoong needed them though since he’s…not dating anyone. and he doesn’t even have anyone to hookup with. i guess delusion is what keeps him going.” mingi chuckles to himself as he leans back.
“cookies that make you horny… like aphrodisiacs? dudee, we should put some of these in yeosang’s lunch box tomorrow. he’s gonna need them for his girlfriend!”
“does his girlfriend even know what he looks like without clothes on?” mingi raised an eyebrow.
“i dunno, but he needs them.” yunho sat the box of cookies on the coffee table and groaned loudly, leaning back on the couch so much he almost slid off.
“i’m so bored, there’s nothing to do.”
“well, i have something to do.” mingi cackled quietly. “this girl in my math class invited me over to study for a test we have tomorrow and i already know we’re gonna hookup. i’m bringing three condoms just in case.”
“why the hell do you need three condoms if you’re only going one round?” yunho asked him. he was so innocent.
“who goes only one round? i’m not surprised; you’re not familiar with stuff like that since you are a virgin. there’s not one girl in this school who’s willing to get laid by you.”
“i—i don’t wanna have sex with a random person! that’s a you thing, mingi. not a me thing.” yunho sighed.
“im just saying!” mingi stood. “why don’t you call your tutor over? what’s her name…y/n? you have a fat crush on her, invite her over and you’ll be fine.”
“if i invite her over here, she’s gonna force me to do work and i’m not in the working mood right now. i wanna lay down and binge watch cringey reality tv shows.” yunho rolled his eyes. mingi shrugs and turns around, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.
“well, if you do change your mind and invite her over, don’t do it on my bed. i just washed my sheets and i don’t want there to be cum stains or whatever.”
“dude, shut up!” yunho through a balled up piece of paper at him. mingi stuck his tongue out then left the dorm, leaving yunho alone.
he stares at the cookie box on the table and ponders. the box looked really beaten up and old, and when he shook it, it didn’t sound like there were many inside of the box. maybe mingi was playing a prank on him or something. yunho thought aphrodisiacs expired in 2010, but he was clearly wrong.
he picks up the box of cookies and opens it. the cookies were blue, not surprising. they did seem a title hard, but he didn’t know if it was because of the aphrodisiacs or if it was because the cookies were old. there wasn’t even an expiration date on the box.
“blue cookies…” yunho repeated to himself as if he didn’t believe it. “blue cookies that make you horny. he must be joking.”
so, out of curiosity, yunho digs his hand inside and takes out six cookies. he sits the box back on the cookie table and looks at the cookies in his hand. they did look delicious, and it wouldn’t be the first time he’s eaten something stale or expired. plus, he was craving cookies.
without hesitation, yunho eats the cookies one by one. he couldn’t tell if the aphrodisiacs had done something to him or not. he felt fine, and his body temperature remained normal. yunho chuckled to himself and shook his head, standing up and walking to his bedroom. he really just ate cheap cookies that hongjoong gave him and mingi. he knew it was too good to be true.
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yh: hey hongjoong, whered you get those blue cookies from they were good
hj: blue cookies? idk what you’re talking abt
yh: mingi said you gave him horny blue cookies? dude he told me earlier
hj: huuhhhh
hj: OHHHHH THOSE COOKIES
yh: YEAH THOSE COOKIES whered you get them from they were good
hj: … you ate them?
yh: they’re cookies, wtf am i supposed to do
hj: yunho those are aphrodisiac cookies they’re gonna make u hard as hell for hours
yh: mingi told me that too but i’m fine
hj: dude omg these cookies are different, u don’t feel it right away how many did you eat
yh: like 5 or 6
hj: i’m gonna fucking kill tou
yh: YOU CANT EVEN SPELL HOW ARE YOU GONNA KILL ME
hj: YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO EAT ONE, ONE IS ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU HORNY AS HELL OH MY GOD
yh: ohhh
yh: did i do a bad
hj: i’m gonna hurt you
yh: so basically what ur saying is i’m fine
hj: what i’m saying is you need to find someone to fuck, otherwise ur gonna be horny for days dude and that’s not good
yh: who the hell am i gonna fuck?? i’m a virgin im sure nobody wants me
yh: hongjoong?
yh: OH MY GOD ANSWER YOUR PHONE
yunho sighed to himself and threw his phone. he was starting to feel the effects of the aphrodisiac and knew he was in trouble. not only that, but he called you and asked if you come come over to help him study. he couldn’t study while being rock hard, he’d be distracted. that, and he’d be sneaking glances down your shirt whenever he could.
“fuck fuck fuck,” he mumbled to himself and stands up, walking to the corner he threw his phone in and picking it up. 5:50. he knew mingi would be gone for a long time, and you were coming in ten minutes. he had time.
yunho kept checking the time while he walked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him and pulling down his pants and boxers. he shuddered just from the fabric sliding off his cock. he was that sensitive.
now he needed something to think about. he could’ve just jerked off and came right away, considering how sensitive he was, but he preferred thinking about something that would normally get him turned on. so, he thought about you.
yunho closed his eyes, wrapping his hand around his cock and flinching at the feeling. he couldn’t even stand the feel of his own hand without feeling the urge to cum. he knew it was going to be a long night.
he brings his hand up to his tip. he runs his thumb across the tip, leaning forward slightly and cursing under his breath. he needed more. his hand obviously felt good, but not good enough. he looks around the bathroom for anything that could help him, and sees his towel hanging on the shower rod.
yunho grabs it then leaves his bathroom. he shuffles back over to his bed and places the towel down, getting on top and aligning his hips. he places a pillow in front of him and lays down it, beginning to push and pull his hips like a mad man.
his fingers desperately gripped the bed sheets for some sort of support as he tried relieving himself. he already felt himself wanting to cum onto the towel, and all he was doing was thinking of you.
from your pretty eyes to your chest, where’d he’s sneak glances down your shirt from time to time. he’s always wondered what it would be like to just touch you. it didn’t matter in what way, he just needed his skin to be in contact with yours. your skin was so soft, and you always smelled like really expensive perfume. your smell was infecting him and he had no complaints.
“please, oh fuck, please…” he whines into the pillow in front of him, gripping the bed sheets the tightest he possibly could. he felt himself beginning to burst already, all he needed were a few more thrusts and he’d be good to go.
and he was right. a few more thrusts. a few more thrusts caused yunho to explode on the towel, his cum splattering onto it as he mewled into the pillow. his breath hitched in his throat and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. he needed that, but yet, he still needed more. he still felt hot.
so, he had no other choice but to force himself back down onto the pillow and continue thrusting. he obviously couldn’t ignore the overstimulation he felt, but he was willing to go through anything just to get rid of this feeling. as good as it made him feel, it was painful. the entire time, he was wondering how you would touch him. he couldn’t lie. he’s fantasized about you two doing intimate things a lot. so much so, sometimes he wouldn’t be able to focus during some tutoring session.
would you have palmed him through his pants? god, he could see you doing it. moving your soft, gentle hands over his bulge, rubbing your thumb over the wet spot in his boxers from his pre-cum. using your fingers to hold his cock and stroke his cock roughly. he could’ve came from these thoughts alone.
what if you had taken off your shirt in front of him? unbuttoning your favorite button up and letting him fondle your breasts. every glance he snuck down your shirt made him want you even more each time. your breasts were so pretty to him. he wanted to suck on them just once. he wished somebody you’d be in his bed, your hand in his pants or the other way around. god, he didn’t know if he wanted to pin you down, or if he wanted you to pin him down.
yunho came a good two more times before you arrived in front of his dorm room. he immediately jumps up, pulling his boxers and shorts up then sprinting to the door. but he needed to calm himself down. his face had sex splattered all over it, or he had the face of someone who had just eaten two jars of aphrodisiac cookies. speaking of the cookies, he may or may not have eaten two more just for the fun of it.
and in the heat of the moment.
there weren’t any words to describe the feeling he had. he was so sensitive, he could barely move but he tried his hardest. he opens the door and looks you up and down, not realizing he licked his lips at the sight of you.
“um, okay? i guess that’s a nice way to greet me.” you nod and walk past him, placing your backpack on the couch then sitting down next to it.
“i didn’t bring anything because i know you have some old worksheets somewhere. and you still have a computer,” you point at the one on the tv stand. “so we can use your computer instead of me going back to my dorm to get mine!”
“i’m, um,” yunho was definitely listening to you, but everything was registering to him slowly. “uh, uh, yeah! yeah,”
“you good? you’re sweating a whole lot and-“
“i’m fine! could never be better! you want a water? i’ll get you a water, you look thirsty! and uh, uh, i’ll get you an orange. we have oranges! you want an orange?”
“yunho, it’s fine. i brought my own-“
“i’ll get you an orange!” and with that, he rushes to the kitchen. he waits for you to avert your attention away from him before he rushes into the pantry. judging his behavior, something was wrong with him. you pat your hands on your knees and bite your lip. it shouldn’t take this long to get a drink.
when looking around the looking room, you notice a box on the ground. you stand and walk over to it, picking it up and looking inside of it. the box had a few cookies in it. you wanted to eat one but wanted to ask yunho. but before you even had the chance to do that, you saw the name on the box and heard a noise from the pantry.
“aphrodisiac cookies…” you mumble to yourself then whip your head toward the pantry. those weren’t just random noises, those were moans. you facepalmed.
“is he really jerking off in the pantry…” you shake your head and drop the box of cookies, walking into yunho’s kitchen and opening the door to the pantry. you couldn’t have been any more correct. he was leaning against the wall, pants down to knees and his hand wrapped around his cock. he was too caught up to realize you were standing right there.
“jeong yunho!” you yelled his name, causing him to jump and look at you. “how many of those fucking cookies did you eat?”
“i-i—look, i didn’t know those cookies were gonna make me horny! i-i thought they were regular cookies! if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame hongjoong!—“
“that’s not what i asked you. i asked you how many cookies you’ve had.” you squint your eyes.
“i-i had like—six or eight? i don’t know, i can’t remember, i feel like i’m gonna burst. y/n please help, everything hurts—“
“i…” you groan and pull him out of the pantry. he rushed to pull his shorts up as you dragged him toward his room, though he didn’t have to since they were gonna be off in the next few minutes.
“you really have me sucking you off because you ate some damn drug cookies.” you scratch your head and push him onto the bed.
“stop talking and do something, please,” he begs. your eyes trail down his body and make it to his cock. one thing was for sure, he was big. “fuck, did you always smell this good? you smell really good.”
“i didn’t even put on perfume today, what are you smelling?” you say as your hand moves against his cock softly, fingers poking his tip. his entire body tensed from the feeling.
“i smell everything. y/n, stop teasing me and do something, i feel like i’m gonna die! i could die! i-i could die if we don’t do anything!”
“jeong yunho, i will leave you in this bedroom with blue balls if you don’t shut up.” you stare him dead in the eyes and immediately curl your fingers around his cock. yunho lurched forward and moaned loudly, thighs shaking and his lips trembling.
“fuck fuck fuck, i’m gonna-“ he came all over your hand. you backed up a bit since you didn’t want any to get on your shirt.
“yunho, i didn’t even move my hand yet.” you sigh and take your hand off of him, bringing it up to your mouth and licking the cum off of it. “i assume that’s all you needed, right?—“
“that’s not even the only time i’ve cum, please. i really can’t- i just- please let me feel you.” he reached his hand out and grabs your wrist, pulling you closer and making you straddle him. he wraps his arms around your waist and begins kissing you all over your neck and chest.
“yunho, calm down-“
“cant, i need you, please…” he dug his nails into your shirt, whimpering quietly with each kiss he gave you.
“okay yunho, okay. what do you want me to do? or, what do you wanna do to me?”
without saying a word, he turns around on the bed and throws you down. his hands ran all over your body. god, he couldn’t get over how soft your skin was. he was so obsessed with you in the best way possible. his hands move underneath your shirt and he starts fondling your breasts, his thumbs pressing down on your nipples.
you held onto his wrist for a few moments until he went down your body and started unbuckling your jeans. once down, he pulls them down and throws them elsewhere before diving in between your legs. he didn’t bother taking your underwear off. he pushed them to the side and dove in, lips attached to your clit.
“holy fu—“ a tingling sensation coursed through your body. yunho made sure to look up a few times to catch your expression change. this was way better than what he’s been thinking about.
“y-yunho, slow down! f-fuck, i’m not going—oh my god,” you couldn’t even form a full sentence. having him stick his tongue between your folds made you spill incoherent words out of your mouth. he had you wondering how many other women he’s been with to be this good. but, it couldn’t have been many women? you could’ve sworn he was a virgin? unless he was lying.
“please, yunho please,” you begged, hands tangled in his hair. “fuck, i’m gonna cum…”
“please do it.” he mumbles against your clit. the pleasure had become too much and you literally exploded on his face, back arching off of the sheets with your face scrunching from the power of your orgasm. but even after cumming, he still needed more from you.
he throws your legs over his shoulders and locks his arms around them, attempting to hold you still while he continued eating you out. he just never caught a break. you were sensitive after your orgasm and knew he was going to overstimulate the hell out of you. you pushed his head back and stared at him for a moment. just looking into his eyes, you could tell he was desperate.
“how…fuck,” you had to catch your breath before speaking. “how many girls did you have to sleep with for you to be able to do that…”
“none.” he said quickly, bringing his hand up and sticking two fingers inside of you without warning. your body jolted and you looked down at his fingers, moaning softly due to the feeling. “can you squirt? i wanna see if you can squirt.”
“y-yunho, wait—“ your thighs begin to shake as yunho hums against your thigh, fingers moving at an accelerated pace. he wanted to make you cum, he wanted you to cum on his fingers so he knew he was doing a good job. yunho could tell you were close because of your moans growing louder and louder.
“f-faster, please!” you cry out. he did so without hesitation, curling his fingers to press on your g-spot. just by that one action, the knot in your stomach begins to unravel. you feel yourself beat up as your thighs clench around his face, trapping him between them as a large amount of liquid left your body. he helped you through your orgasm by moving his fingers faster, his free hand on your stomach to feel you.
once you came down from your high, he took his fingers out of you and sucked on them. he crawls up and kissed you, littering your face and neck with kisses. while he wasn’t looking, you use your hand to grab his cock, gently rubbing his tip and watching his face contort in pleasure.
“y/n, y/n wait…” he whined, falling back on the bed and grabbing a pillow. he wraps his arms around it and hugs it. his pretty moans mixed with the slick, wet sounds coming from him rang in your ears. and you couldn’t get enough of it. it only encouraged you to move your hand faster. you smile and get on top of him, now using both hands.
“p-please, let me inside.” his hips were between your legs when you straddled him, his erection rubbing against your heat. you needed a few seconds to calm your body down before realizing what he meant.
“uh uh, my turn.” you hold onto his shoulders and use every muscle in your body to flip him over. he was on his back and you were on top of him.
“let me suck you off, then i’ll let you in.”
“please, fuck, i can’t wait any longer just-“
you put a finger to his lips. he shuts up immediately and watched as you go down his body, leaving kisses wherever you could. once his cock was right in front of your face, you couldn’t help but give it a small lick. he shuddered from your action.
“fuck, how sensitive are you?” you chuckle, now bringing your hand to wrap around his length. he didn’t bother answering. he threw his head back and groaned, his cock twitching in your hand.
the sight before him could’ve made him cum on the spot. seeing you lay between his legs, your feet swinging back and forth behind you, and the arch of your back made him hornier. you could feel his gaze on you as you licked all along his erection, giggling softly and sending vibrations through his body.
he completely melted in your touch, his groans echoing throughout the bedroom. he was using everything in him not to cum on the spot. you couldn’t lie, he tasted amazing. you’d do this all day if he let you.
“f-fuck, your mouth…i love your mouth, s’good…” he whimpers while sitting up on his elbows, head thrown back and his cock twitching constantly in your mouth. you gently take him out of your mouth and kiss his tip gently, now moving your hands to bring him closer to the edge.
“are you gonna cum? is my pretty boy gonna cum?” you smile. you stared at yunho intently, watching his body break down from the overstimulation. it wasn’t surprising since he said he’s came more than five times today.
“please,” he begged. “f-faster, let me cu—f-fuck, please! please please please,” his cheeks were flushed, and you couldn’t help but coo.
“go ahead and cum, pretty.” his hips violently thrust into your hand. those cookies were doing so much to him, he couldn’t focus.
“f-fuck!” he cries out. “c-cumming, i’m cumming—i’m gonna-“ he finally let go, cumming all over your hand. you slowed your strokes to not overstimulate him before backing away.
“you did so well for me, yuyu.” you spoke softly, gently rubbing his thigh as you waited for him to come down from his high. he slowly sits up and smiles at you. he was still hard, and still pulsing.
“are you sure you wanna keep going?” you tilt your head. “and, um, if this is gonna be your first time then, i don’t know, i think you should reconsi-“
he pulls you up from underneath your arms and sits you on his lap. “if it’s you, i don’t care. now please, i feel like my dick is gonna bust.”
“oh my god, okay.” you smile and lift your hips, lining him up then sinking down onto his cock. yunho watched as you swallowed his length entirely, it disappeared completely and he couldn’t help but moan from the sight. you almost collapsed on top of him trying to control yourself. it’s been so long since you felt this way. you needed this.
“can i move?” your hands run across his chest, lightly scratching. yunho didn’t say anything. he was focusing on not cumming inside of you, you sucked him in like a vacuum.
“yunho?” you lean down. “i’ll lay on my back, so you can move. okay?”
“wait, just—wait,” he moans softly. he finally pulled himself together and gripped onto your hips, flipping the two of you over again so he was hovering over you. your hands wrap around his neck and he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth.
“you feel so fucking good,” he groans. “fuck, i wanna stay like this forever.”
“we can, yunho,” you moan breathlessly. “please move.”
he didn’t start slow. just as you told him to move, he started snapping his hips against yours, the sounds of your skin colliding echoing around the room, just like your moans. you throw your head back and moan, pulling him down and pressing your lips against his. each time his cock drives in and out of you, his name slipped out your mouth.
the both of you were lost in the moment, moaning into each others mouths and chasing your high. yunho backs away from your face and pushes his in your neck, kissing and biting softly. everyone was going to know you were his, now.
yunho grabs the underside of your knee and pushes your leg back further, now thrusting at an angle that made you feel dizzy. your back arched off the bed and his movements became rougher. he was so close.
“y/n, y-y/n, where do i…w-where do i cum?” he pants in your ear. “f-fuck, i’m so close.”
“i-inside! p-please please please,” you begged. and with the last few stuttering thrusts, you feel him basically explode inside of you. you tightened around his cock as you came the same time, repeating his name as if you were a broken record.
you make sure to hold onto him the tightest you possibly could, taking in the moment while moaning loudly. you weren’t sure about what to say or what to do, it was like he fucked the breath out of you. he cuddles against your body, breathing heavily in your ear while trying to stop his body from shaking.
“y/n, please stay with me…” he whimpers in your ear. “love you so much, i love you, stay, please.”
“don’t worry, i’ll stay.”
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