#was gonna log off but like. i still gotta post them

[strawberryblondebutch]

[okthatsgreat]

did anybody see the newest episode of danganronpa 52 lollllllll

#there is something deeply wrong with team dr im afraid #A DEATH SO SOON JESUSSSSSS where was the ult cardiologist at......... #dr52 liveblog #dr52 spoilers #lee chat

5 notes

🐻 dangronper Follow

Gonna try getting into the new season lol, I stopped watching at season 37. No spoilers please

🐻 dangronper Follow

Okay wow a lot has changed! Everything is so high tech now??? I kinda miss when they just kept it more simple and had them all locked in a school ngl but maybe thats just me liking season 1 lol. Im really liking Jiro so far Im hoping he at least makes it to chapter 3 because I really wanna know more about that guy

🐻 dangronper Follow

You've gotta be kidding.

#CHAPTER ONE? HE DIED CHAPTER ONE? #THIS IS WHY I HATE ALL OF THE NEW SEASONS SO FUCKIGN BAD #THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT SHOCK VALUE AND THEY DONT CARE ABOUT STORY #THAT DEATH MAKES NO SENSE THERE ARE YOU ACTUALLY JOKING #Im logging off.

4 notes

💀 youvegotthatrite Following

12,433 notes

🫖 nagitosleftleg Follow

just a reminder that wishing death on any of the danganronpa writers makes you a terrible person and all of your favorite danganronpa characters hate you if you do that! 🤗 this is danganronpa so a lot of them will die 🤗 that doesnt mean you get to be a dickhead to team dr 🤗 get over it! 🤗

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

oh my god can anybody in this fandom just be normal and not use this weird passive aggressive tone for every single post. the writers do not give less of a fuck and neither do the actors theyre all dealing with their own shit

#i hate this fandom istg. and stop calling them characters the flashback light doesnt make them entirely fake #theyre still actual people #with feelings #danganronpa 52

769 notes

🍀luckyguy Follow

this is NOT what ultimate hope makoto naegi would have wanted

#dr52 spoilers #lucky student killed first chapter <;/3 #shut up you [txt]

4,013 notes

🔧 sorryiwasbornstupid Follow

kazuichi sighted in the new post-season promo video he looks so g.ood .... . id let him do anything to me

🌸 neverminded Following

@kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial

🔧 sorryiwasbornstupid Follow

HELLO?

34 notes

🔪 danganronpa Following

Puhuhu! New episode of DANGANRONPA 52 out TODAY at 1pm JST! Make sure to bring your popcorn and your bagels, this episode sure gets.... despairful 👀You won't wanna miss it!

🍀luckyguy Follow

K

🔱 ultscubafan Follow

U

🎆 chickencoopexplosion Follow

N

🫖 nagitosleftleg Follow

G

🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

P

9,012 notes

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

can early season purists please get their heads out of nagito komaedas ass. he does not want to fuck you

106 notes

🎞️ kirigiririririri Follow

Waiittttt Jiro is so cute actually XD He keeps tripping over his shoelaces in the background of scenes LOL he's so smol ..............

🎞️ kirigiririririri Follow

I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF

#he's DEAD?????????????????????????????????

2 notes

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

keep in mind the danganronpa actors are still real people and they can see all of you thirsting over them ok. please be normal. just because they went through the effects of the flashback light doesnt mean its ok to be a fucking weirdo to hajime whenever he walks outside

🧊 kokoroicebox Follow

They're celebrities. People are going to find celebrities attractive, especially if these are people they see on screens and billboards every day. If you pick up the nearest magazine you find you're probably going to find Junko Enoshima in it. And maybe you should consider that those "weirdos" who are walking up to Hajime are simply fans that want to greet him. We've watched these people fight through hell, cry, laugh, and find hope along the way. Of course we are going to get attached to them, especially to those of us who have been keeping up with them for a long time now. You're basically asking a bunch of teenagers to close their eyes and pretend their favorite media doesn't exist.

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

i literally did not say that

🌀 cageofdeath Follow

have you maybe ever considered that maybe some people get hyperfixations??

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

oh my fucking god.

🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

anybody in this thread smoke weed

1,034 notes

🍊 hinataorangejuice Follow

OKKKKK WAIT WHY IS RANTARO KINDA 👀👀👀

#the way he got so serious while investigating.............. #wasnt a huge fan of him at the start but he's growing on me lowkey #dr52 #danganronpa 52 #dr52 #orange speaks!

29 notes

💀 youvegotthatrite Following

JIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#FUFUUUCUCKKCKCCKKKCKKCKC I REALLY LIEKD HIM!!!3!@!#(!# #FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK #ORUUGH WHY COULDNT HAVE BEEN MOMO #dr52 lb

8 notes

🍧minimarruuuu Follow

no chapter 1 death is ever gonna beat sayaka imo #girl

#it just really started the series off so well and no other chapter 1 victim has impressed me tbh #ugh but idk shes kinda annoying now with all of her interviewssss like girl its ok to not smile sometimes lmfao #sayaka maizono #dr52 critical #maru.txt

11 notes

🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

guy ists ok hes not actually dead hes just sleeping guys

#guys #danganronpa 52 #danganronpa 52 spoilers #<- ??? just in case

🔍 kirigiri Following

a

🍊 hinataorangejuice Follow

ok queen speak your truth i guess

🌸 neverminded Following

THIS MIGHT BE A CLUE THIS MGIHT BE A CLUE TO JIROS KILLER IM LOOKIGNGGGGG SO HARD AT AKEMI RIGHT NOW

🎆 chickencoopexplosion Follow

i think she might have just accidentally posted a draft lol

🌸 neverminded Following

I dont know............. team dr has done this before where they leave littel clues in places and this seems a little TOO coincidental

🔍 kirigiri Following

I hit the post button too early.

🌸 neverminded Following

KYOKO KIRIGIRI?

43,033 notes

🐰monomini Follow

okkkkk im kinda over rantaro already lmao. heres hoping we dont get another season of him

1 note

[heyyallitsbethfanfic]

dry eyes

A dead eye peered through the scope of the hecate sniper rifle.

BANG! Clink… A shot fired, and the casing rolled aimlessly away.

On the top of the clocktower, a depressed noir laid down, near motionless.

BANG! Clink…

The raven had been posted there for longer than they’d care to remember. All they wanted was release.

BANG! Clink…

“Full party down…” the black-cloaked figure sighed. “Guess this’s just been a buncha aim practice…”

Not a single fight. Not a single shot fired in their direction. Though it’s not like they cared. If someone fired, they wouldn’t move. They had no desire to fight. They wanted to give up.

“Footsteps…”

They had heard someone ascending the clock tower and were suddenly eye to eye with a familiar sight down their scope.

“Heh, guess I gave a lasting impression on ya Kirito. Never would’ve suspected you’d pick up the sniper mantle.”

Kirito stared up at the teal haired girl before her, his eyes tired and weary. A dull grey emptiness was set into them, where a purple shimmering light had been before. Sinon’s more playful appearance dropped as she saw the zombie before her. He slowly shifted his positioning away from Sinon before he fired the last shot in his clip ending another enemy player miles away.

“... I don’t wanna think about swords at all right now. Staying as far away as possible.” 

He remained focused on the scope of his rifle. He didn’t want to meet her eyes again. His voice was empty, quiet and strained like it was the first sentence he’d spoken that week.

“You okay Kirito? You’re not lookin’ so hot…” She trailed off. She knew he hated discussing himself but this was the worst he’d ever looked.

“Yeah… just some stress relief is all…” He looked aside for a moment, but still refused to meet Sinon’s empathetic stare. “I see why you love the sniper. Gotta always be on alert… Can’t talk. Can’t think… Can’t cry.” His eyes started watering at the edges.

“This is bad,” Sinon thought to herself. “He’s never like this…”

She lifted Kirito out of his perch, and propped him up next to her.

“Hey, you can talk to me.”

His eyes couldn’t meet hers. He couldn’t face her. His body ached. His heart felt like a worn and tired rope, just barely holding on by the thinnest of it’s threads.

“Hey Kirito. I’m worried about you. Nobody hears from you for a week after you logged out of ALO and now you’re here looking like you’re dead.”

Kirito finally looked to her and met her eyes. Sinon’s heart shattered as the boy who had so desperately tried helping her for so long looked as if he was one inch from the edge.

“... I…” he sighed out. “It’s been too long since I was playing solo… And now… I gotta remember how to do it…”

“Huh? You’re not making any sense?” Sinon tried holding Kirito’s hand, and she saw him fighting back tears as he pulled it away.

“Asuna… was the person who pulled me out of being solo… I’d always been alone up to then. Both in game, and out there… and she’s not here anymore.”

“Asuna? W-what’s going on? Is she alright?”

Kirito could no longer hold back any of the tears she’d been keeping these past days.

“Asuna got accepted at a college in the U.S… and she’s leaving. And… and… and…” his voice faltered and got weaker as he went on. “She wanted to break up. So that distance wouldn’t hurt.”

Kirito’s avatar’s mascara ran down her cheeks, staining them black, and beneath Sinon could see even on his avatar the dark circles that indicated Kirito hadn’t been sleeping.

Sinon clutched above her heart. She couldn’t believe that Asuna could do something so heartless to the poor boy in front of her.

“Hey, hey. I’m here now.” She pulled him into an embrace, stroking his hair as he sobbed into her chest. “It’s all gonna be okay. I promise.” She tried her best to reassure him, but how could she promise that? His wife had left him here like this…

“T-thank you Shino…” Her heart broke hearing him pleading out to her, not her avatar, but her.

“Hey, have you been sleeping?”

“I… I haven’t been able to. So I’d just log on here, away from everyone else…”

“Kazuto…”

“I still log out to shower and call Yui before bed… but it’s mainly just been… this.”

“Even after everything he’s still doing his best to be there for Yui…”

“Ki-Kirito have you eaten at all? And is Sugu not there?”

Kirito tried getting up, but Sinon pulled him right back into the embrace. 

“Sugu’s been on a class trip. She won’t be back til next week…”

Sinon saw the broken mess of a boy in front of her and wanted to cry herself. This was her rock. The one who held up their whole group, helping each and every one of them. He had held her as she cried, punching and kicking and saying things she’d always regret and yet he was steadfast, unflinching, just there for her when she needed it most. And he was crumbling…

“Hey Kirito… Listen… You need to rest, and you need to eat… Log off and shower… A-and I’m gonna be over as soon as I can. I’ll pick us up some food on the way…”

She’d dreamed of spending the night at Kirito’s before, but never like this. She wishes it could have been under better circumstances.

Kirito intended to protest, but couldn’t. He desperately wanted somebody to help, even if he wished he could be alone. Both of them embraced one final time before they logged out.

About 30 minutes later, Suguha gets a notification on her phone, from the motion camera at the door. “Why is Shino coming over at… 11pm?” She laid back down and passed out. “Tomorrow’s Problem.”

…

A knocking came at the door.

Kirito slicked back his still-damp-from-showering hair and sheepishly answered the door.

As the door slowly crept open, two broken souls met eyes. The girl had been tightly holding onto her purse and the food she’d picked up for the boy, but they were abruptly dropped to the side in the doorway as she launched herself at the boy. His eyes were vacant, like his body was still here but the soul had long since left. She hadn’t seen him like this since that time in Underworld, where he was… gone. She couldn’t help it, she held onto him and cried into him.

“Kazuto… I was so fucking scared…” She could barely speak through her sobs. “The thought of you hurting… I’m so sorry…”

Kazuto lightly brushed his hand against the back of her head, stroking her hair.

“T-thank you Shino… I- I’m sorry you have to see me like this…”

“You have nothing to be sorry for- I should’ve reached out sooner.” She looked up from her place nuzzling his neck to his face. Beneath one of his tired eyes sat a scar cutting long across his cheek. She traced the faded mark, sighing out. “I’m sorry.”

They pulled away from eachother and Kazuto slumped down on the couch of the living room as Shino collected her things and placed her bags on the kitchen table.

“Shino- I… I don’t know why you put up with me.” The boy’s hands shook, and tears bubbled in the corners of his eyes.

Shino sat beside Kazuto and gently cupped his face in her hand. “I care about you Kazuto. I always have.” 

“All I’ve ever done is hurt people. I don’t deserve to be cared about.” His breath was brisk and harsh. He was fighting not her words, but the words he was holding back.

“Every day, that’s all I do. I left behind my family when I found out I was adopted- and I left them behind for two years in SAO- And then on my first day there, I abandoned Argo and Klein.”

His knuckles were white as his fists shook in rage at himself.

“Then I abandoned Asuna. I took Liz on a suicide mission and nearly killed her, and broke her heart. If I was quicker, I could’ve saved Pina for Silica. I let Yui die. And I was too weak… I let Kayaba kill Asuna. She died in my arms…”

Shino gripped onto Kazuto’s shoulders, but he wasn’t finished.

“And then I came home, and I was a burden to everyone. And all I could think about was her. Not my family or other friends. Just her. And Sugu-”

The tears flowed out.

“After everything- Sugu helped me. And I broke her heart. And I just stood there like a jackass and couldn’t say anything…”

“Broke her heart?...”

“I pushed myself away from her time after time and she still cared about me- and she fell in love with me- she cried herself to sleep at night over me in the hospital and I never gave her the time of day. I don’t deserve to be called her brother.” He screamed out the last sentence, his voice breaking.

“And then- and then I was in Underworld. And. And. If I were faster, Ronye and Tiese…”

He grit his teeth.

“And I failed you time and time again Shino. I used your trust. I hurt you. I embarrassed you. If it weren’t for me, DeathGun wouldn’t have even targeted you. And I let you get-” 

“Kazuto you saved my life. If it weren’t for you-”

“If it weren’t for me, ten more people would be alive right now.” His voice bit at her.

“The members of Laughing Coffin?...”

“No… The Moonlit Black Cats. Ducker, Sasamaru, Tetsuo, Keita… Sachi… I failed them all. I let them die. And Keita killed himself in front of me.”

He clutched his chest.

“Sachi… Sachi was so fucking afraid of dying in Sword Art Online. I promised her- I promised her she’d live. I’d protect her. That she and I’d make it out together…”

He wailed into his hands. Shino stroked his back.

“And then there was Eugeo… my best friend. I fought alongside him for two years. I… I loved him… and he died in my arms. I couldn’t save him. He was better than me. He was an actual hero, he wasn’t just some roleplaying dickhead who could never help anyone- I let him down… It’s my fault he died.”

Shino pulled Kazuto into a hug.

“Kazuto… none of them would blame you. They were your friends. They knew you’d do anything to help them, anything at all. That’s why you fought so hard for them, and fight so hard now. Since they’re still here with you…”

She pet his head as he sobbed into her shoulder.

“I- I was so scared when I heard about what happened to you. That the last Death Gun got you… I was so worried, and I hurt myself because I thought it was all my fault… You got hurt because you got caught between me and Shinkawa.”

She pulled back, and held his face so his eyes met hers.

“You saved everyone in Sword Art Online Kazuto. It’s because of you, everyone in the game could walk free. And you saved everyone in Underworld too. And now people like Alice and Yui can be here in the real world too. You’ve helped so many people.”

Kazuto looked in her eyes for a moment, considering her words, before closing his eyes. He didn’t want to see her as he spoke again.

“They said that of the ten thousand people who logged into Sword Art Online, six thousand survived, and the other four thousand… I always thought I should be a part of them.” Shino’s grip on the back of Kazuto’s shirt intensified. She was digging into him now.

“K-Kazuto?”

“Every day I’ve thought it would have been better if my brain was fried there. If I was one of the ones who jumped on day one… maybe it would have been better that way…”

Shino pulled him into her like a vice, holding on for dear life.

“Kazuto- never. Never say something like that. You’re… You’re the one who told me that nomatter who you are, your life has touched someone else. That there’s someone out there who loves you, and cares about you. You saved me then. And I wanna be here for you now. Kazuto… My life belongs to you. I’ll give it up for you. I wanna stay with you until the end. I’ll do everything I can.”

The tears stopped. Kazuto looked at me, and smiled softly. “And I promise to do everything I can do to protect you too, forever.”

He held onto her hand, and the two softly blushed.

“Kazuto… Could I stay with you for the night?”

The boy could only nod.

…

The two held onto eachother until they had recollected themselves. But neither wanted to let go as they got up to eat. The quiet slowly faded away as they chatted to eachother, the warmth in the home growing with each word. They eventually retreated to the couch, spending the evening watching movies together, curled under a blanket. They hadn’t noticed how somewhere along the way, they’d shifted into eachother, their bodies pressed together cuddling, as if it was natural for them. Two broken pieces fitting together, forming one single heart.

They slept on the couch that night, settling in at almost dawn, and neither would ever want to admit it, but it was the most peaceful sleep they’d experienced in a long long time.

…

The raven of the star-crossed soldiers were awoken by Kazuto’s phone ringing in the morning.

“Big brother- Why exactly is Shino staying the night at our place?” Her tone was accusatory, which Kazuto figured was entirely fair, given the circumstances.

“I’ve been having a really rough couple of days. Ever since Asuna left, I hadn’t been taking care of myself… Shino noticed and came over to help.”

“Asuna… left?”

Kazuto huffed out a sigh. “Guess she decided it’s on me to tell everyone. Asuna broke up with me. About the same time you left on your trip.”

“Jeez… at the same time I’m not there to comfort you- how cruel. I’m sorry big bro. I’ll be home soon to help you. I’m glad Shino was there to help.”

“I am too.” Kazuto combed the hair of the still sleeping girl beside him with his fingers. She murmured slightly in her sleep. “Kirito…”

…

Shino ended up staying at the Kirigaya residence for the next week, until Suguha got home. They’d spend the day together, cooking and cleaning for eachother, and playing GunGale together. Each night Kazuto insisted that he’d take the couch and Shino could sleep in his bed, yet nomatter where they decided upon sleeping, they’d still end up in eachother’s arms by the end of the night. Shino insisted that it was because she heard Kazuto stirring and worried he was having a nightmare, but Kazuto couldn’t complain either way. The gentle fondness she’d showed him made his heart flutter, and he was ashamed to admit, but every time he started worrying about Asuna, there would be a Shino in his imagination there to save him. His knight in shining armor. As they spent the day in GGO again, they ended up walking by a shop as a glimmer caught Kirito’s eye. He nabbed it before Sinon even realized what he’d done. 

…

As they cleared another mission together, they sat next to eachother in the same cave they’d shared their first night in. Kirito slightly anxiously shifted in his seat as Sinon went over their loot from the mission.

“Oh actually Sinon- there’s something that I wanted to share with you.”

“Oh did you get different drops than me? Anything good?” The boy twirled his hair nervously.

“H-hopefully…”

He tossed a small sphere at her.

“A present grenade?”

She looked up at him, slightly confused.

“J-just hit the button.”

He hid his blushing face in his hands as Sinon pressed the blinking red trigger. The sphere split open in two halves, revealing a pair of two rings, a deep galaxy purple and a bright ocean blue. 

Kirito swallowed his fears “I… I saw them and thought of us… consider it a thanks for everything you’ve done for me Sinon.”

Sinon blushed and hugged the boy beside her.

“You dummy! I love it!” She slipped on the purple ring, and took Kirito’s hand and slipped on the blue on.

“Eh? Sinon?” Kirito was slightly confused by her choice of color.

“It’s just like your sword and your eyes. It’s a nice thing to always remember ya, even when we’re not by eachother’s sides.” She smiled warmly and hugged tighter.

“Guess so. But I don’t wanna leave your side anytime soon.”

“Me neither.”

Sinon looked deep into Kirito’s eyes, the color returned to them, the sparkle was back. She leaned in to him and he followed, and their lips found a home together.

[readmypaws]

Hello folks of Tumblr,

Some of you are new here, so allow me to help you get started here. This tutorial is for mobile users cause im too lazy to log back on on PC rn...

Anyways,

Lets start with the simple part, how to navigate this place. Ive been here a year and it cam still feel likenan enigma sometimes but here are the basics:

1. Your feed is going to be made up of 90% of what you follow. Tumblr doesn't really have an algorithm perse, but more of a "heres is someone that someone you're following follows" or is stuff in the same tag. You can actually completely turn off what little algorithm there is in the settings if you like.

2. If you like a post, like it, but if you do just that, you'll never see it again. If you truly love a post, you need to repost it. Reposting it adds it to your blog, and you dont need to be stingy with reposting!

3. Scared something doesnt match your blog but you still like it? Well fuck it, reblog that shit! We love variety here

So thats the basics of looking at posts, but I can guarantee you that no one here, not even the p0rn bots dont post here. So I'm gonna teach you how to do that!

1. You will notice a blue button that looks like a pencil, click that and itll take you to the post creator.

2. Now the page is pretty blank, but that means you can do whatever you want with it! At the bottom of the screen (or if your keyboard is up, top of the keyboard) you'll notice 7 buttons. From left to right they are:

text formatting, the second is links, third is gifs, fourth is images, fifth is uh... I don't really know tbh lol, sixth is polls, and the seventh is uh... I also dont know that does lol.

Feel free to go crazy with these! Have fun :)

3. After writing your masterpiece, an autistic 3am rant about cheese, or a shitpost you're gonna wanna share it. If you immediately post it, it wont be seen by anyone except those who follow you. If you want people to follow it make sure that:

YOU TAG YOUR POSTS!

There is an add tags button above the toolbar, you gotta type what tags you want. Dont stress about making them completely match your post or what the "meta" is, its Tumblr, there is no meta for the platform that is just neurodivergent queer people lol. Share to wherever the hell you want so long as its somewhat connected to the post :). Add as many (up to 30) as you want! I recommend 5 at minimum. You can even write your posts as just tags!

So thats your post done! Thats the jist of Tumblr, theres also customizing your blog but I'll deal with that later :)

Have fun here!

[bromcommie]

🤡 ✅ for the writer asks!

Hi hii, thanks for the ask! :) ✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Hm. I feel like I haven't posted enough writing for this to be nearly as relevant as it should lol, but: dream sequences, for sure. Humor, sometimes, even if I’m writing something heavy. And I feel like I tend to come back to mythology a lot. Or maybe not mythology specifically so much as storytelling done within the confines of the story in general? Like as thinly veiled parallels for the characters and what they're going through, sure, but also maybe even more so I find interesting just how different characters might tell, or interpret, different stories. Or what the stories they choose to tell or pay attention to are and why - about their own life or those that stick with them. The stories they tell themselves vs. others. It's also kind of an exposition crutch sometimes, so I've been trying to tone it down or reshape it in certain instances, but yeah.

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

This is an unfinished scene that really doesn’t contain any kind of serious characterization nor historical accuracy. But consider: it's funny to me personally. So who cares. Absolute crack below the cut if you’re interested:

“I am going,” Barnes is hollering from somewhere when Gabe jolts back into consciousness with his face a mere foot from the crackling fire, sweaty and confused, “to kick the shit out of you, Rogers! I’m gonna—“ the rest of the threat gets abruptly cut off when he hits the ground with a heavy thud, all the air knocked out of him. Gabe blinks.

There's gotta be a nicer word for the way Rogers grins with his knees locked around Barnes’ torso, he thinks, other than feral.

“Yeah? Lemme see you follow it through, motherfucker. Lemme see you try.”

Gabe scans their little circle: all of them still battered or bored or battling a variety of illness, and all of them distinctly disinterested in the chaos happening not fifteen feet away.

Whatever the ruckus is, an emergency it ain’t. He stretches with a soul-deep yawn, cocking his head in the direction of the noise. “What’s all that for?”

“Maman et papa se disputent,” Dernier points out flatly from his place across from him, frowning down at the stack of cards precariously towering by Morita’s knee. With a flick of a wrist he throws a card out from his noticeably smaller deck and tuts when Morita immediately trumps it and swipes both cards off the damp log-turned-table. “Ah, putain.”

“Yeah no shit, I can see that. What about?”

Dernier shrugs. “Who se fuck knows. Se mistress?”

Morita lets out an undignified giggle. Gabe squints at the sweaty back of his neck, then down at the conspicuously unlabeled, conspicuously empty bottle by his feet.

“Are y’all drunk?” He glances at the blurry mess of limbs tumbling in the dark. “Are they drunk?”

“Who can tell at this point.”

Gabe watches the two indiscernible shapes in the flickering light that reaches further into the grassy field. There also has to be a better phrase for the mud-covered state they’re both in other than pigs in a pen, but it’s escaping him at the moment.

“What happened to them?”

“Sarge went out to check that house we saw on the way and get firewood. Steve went after him,” Dugan elaborates with a resigned expression, his words running together a little. “Came back looking like two prissy cats the flood just spat out. Something about a mudslide and whose fault it was.” He reaches behind him to pull out a miraculously still only half-empty bottle and tip it his way. “Rogers found us some French brandy, though. It’s shit, of course, but that was awfully nice of him.”

Gabe sits up to accept the bottle, plucking a stray twig out of his hair with a grimace along the way. “Where’d he get that?”

Dugan shrugs. “From a Frenchman, I imagine.”

“All very lovely, except then I believe there was a, uh—” Falsworth jumps in from where he’s propped up on what's left of a nearby fence, nursing his half-empty pipe and an even emptier expression. “Disagreement, if you will, over—“

“Gorizia," Dugan and Morita chorus in unison. Dugan trails off into a mumbled sing-song that Gabe’s pretty sure doesn’t contain any actual words, nor much mention of Gorizia itself.

"Gorizia, yes, and the bullshit with the—“

Gabe groans. "The goddamn barn? Still?"

"Yep. Cap's not letting that one go anytime soon.”

“Oh, and Rogers being a wiseass to Philips when he wanted to bench him last week, don’t forget that," Morita croaks, voice rusted over with the cold but otherwise relaxed. Dernier curses under his breath when his last card lands and digs into his pocket with an expression of a man at his utmost limit. "Or getting his fool ass shot in the first place. One of those."

“—Rogers’ fool arse, yes yes, that too,” Falsworth continues, “which, as you can imagine, didn’t take too kindly to the, uh, constructive criticism. Then Barnes called him an unreasonable fuck so he,” he points with the pipe at where Rogers has Barnes in a headlock, “naturally, brought up something from oh, ten years ago? Ten years ago. That’s about when Barnes tried to tackle him, by the way. And then they started shouting about someone called John — Jimmy—“ He turns to Morita with a series of sluggish finger snaps.

"Jackie Van Wijk," Morita provides helpfully, plucking the stubby cigarette out of Dernier's grudging hand with little sympathy and sticking it behind his ear. "How are you so bad at this? You ran a gambling hall."

"Yes, for poker." Dernier downs the bottom of his cup and grimaces with distaste. "Chemin de fer. Not — children games."

"Jackie Van Wijk, that's right," Falsworth finishes. "And somebody else’s sister who might or might not have been a prostitute, that part’s unclear. I think that about brings us up to now.”

"Are you—" Gabe tries, and fails. "I can't tell if you're fucking with me. How long was I asleep?"

“Oh, about 45 minutes. And you forgot the thing with the coppers,” Dugan mutters over his cup, checking his watch like he's bored out of his skull and has somewhere, anywhere else to be. “And the three dollars.”

“Ah, yes. Sarge owes Rogers three dollars.” Falsworth observes them quizzically for a moment, chewing on the pipe. “Or the other way around, I can’t be too sure.”

“She was a hooker, idiot!” Bucky’s voice carries over again as he uselessly tries to pry Rogers’ hand away from where it’s digging into the side of his face. Gabe can’t tell if he’s laughing or if he’s choked on enough mud by now that it’s permanently affected his speech. “What were you gonna —“

“So what, huh? It was Sands Street, so fucking what, everyone’s a hooker on Sands — I had two more drinks, I coulda been a hooker myself —“

“Are you hearing yourself? Do you ever — stay still, you fuckin’ — do you ever hear the words that come out of your mouth?”

"Y'know," Dugan muses, "if I'd wanted to hear alley cats going at each other all hours of the night, I woulda just stayed in Boston."

"Shut the fuck up, like we don't all know you got the draft."

“Gossip," Dugan protests. “Downright slander.” He whacks Morita's shoulder with probably more force than is strictly necessary. "Hey. Gimme a puff."

"Blow me, Aloysius." It comes out in four parts, vowels dragged out kicking and screaming: Ay-low-see-yus.

Absently, Gabe wonders how much of it is the actual brandy and how much might be a concussion from this morning.

"Sure I will, if you gimme a puff."

Somewhere in the distance, Rogers swears loudly. Barnes cackles.

Gabe stares at them. It really is like being back home, in a way: two of his younger brothers making an awful ruckus first thing in the morning and waking the whole house up over the grand total of jack shit, seemingly hellbent on inflicting as much damage to each other and the surrounding landscape without anyone actually ending up in the hospital. Usually, Gabe’d be the designated first responder in breaking it up, more often than not because he was the only one actually willing to risk getting between them physically. It’d earned him a bump on the head and the grousing nickname “St. Gabriel” more than once.

Jesus, he’s homesick.

He looks back to Falsworth. “So, what, it got so bad they fighting over a girl now?”

“No,” Morita sighs with all the gravity of the long-suffering, voice raising in volume and cracking a little as he turns to look at them over his shoulder. “They’re fighting because they’re two five-year-old fucking morons who are gonna land us in so much shit we’ll be wishing for goddamn latrine duty. Hey,” he shouts over the noise when they both completely ignore him, “Hey! Abbott and Costello — with all due respect, sirs, shut the fuck up.”

“Should we…do something?”

“Hey, you hear that? War’s over! We all take turns pissing on Hitler’s ball-less corpse and then they ship us back!” It falls on deaf ears. Morita throws his hands up. “See? Be my fucking guest.”

“How long before they tire themselves out, d’you think?” Falsworth muses.

“I dunno,” Dugan says with resignation. “Cap is still pretty keyed up from today and I think Barnes runs on pure spite alone at this point, so. An hour? Two?”

They watch the graceless grappling slow for a hopeful moment before Rogers mutters something unflattering about Barnes’ mother and Barnes snorts like an enraged bull, throwing him off.

Morita laughs, the sound quickly derailing into a rattling cough. “That man got a congressional medal last month. Stroke of tactical genius, they said.”

“Yes well apparently out of the two of them, Barnes used to be the voice of reason. See how much that tells you,” Falsworth comments. Dugan’s eyes bug a little.

“Reasonable? Barnes? Sergeant I’m gonna mouth off to the guy with the big stick until he decides to crack a rib or two Barnes? That one?”

“I never said it was a good assessment,” Falsworth replies sedately as the man in question finally gets the upper hand and sends Rogers toppling headfirst into the muck. “It is quite possible, of course, that they have both just lost their damn minds.”

A sage nod ripples through the rest of them. In all honesty, it has been that kind of week. Gabe would be buzzing hard himself if he weren’t so goddamn tired he could feel every single one of his bones rattling around in his body like dice in a tin cup.

“That’s great,” Morita drawls around his smoke. “That’s just dandy. I die dropping into Holland next week, I want my affairs dealt with well, you hear me? I want my tombstone to read: I died for my fellow man, and because my fellow man and CO lost their — Dugan, I swear to Christ, you try to take it one more time I’m putting it out in your ear — lost their marbles at the worst possible time. Over Jackie Van fucking Whoever, no less.” He nods grimly at the clearing. “And then I want those two assholes to pay for the arrangements.”

“We will do our best, mon ami,” Dernier says, passing him the reshuffled deck with a sympathetic hand like an olive branch. “But we will probably also be dead.”

[numbuh-72]

Artist's Message/Update

Hey everyone! Artsy_Lexi here!

Hope everyone has been doing all right and staying safe out there!

I have some stuff I would like to say in regards to Numbuh 72's blog and the plans for what's to come in the future, so buckle up and grab a can of soda!

First off, I wanna thank the people who've been around to support me and my work ever since I returned to Tumblr under Numbuh 72, you guys are all amazing and I've been having a blast starting to know some of you guys, through my fellow mutuals~. I will say, ideas continue to develop in my head for stuff to draw and interact with you guys and have some fun with our characters!

With that in mind, I'm already almost to 25 followers on here! I do plan on doing a small celebration for this milestone that's already about to be achieved, so once I hit it, stick around for a DTIYS art challenge and be on the lookout for a new hashtag that I will put for my oc, Gianna Chavez!

Aside from that though, allow me to give yall an update for what I plan to do to...better organize this blog;

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I have a lot of ideas for this blog that's been running around my head for ages now and I've been struggling on what idea to do first; This would include

Alternate Universes (FNF, Roblox, Little Brother, etc.)

Finishing up OC Ref sheets, well, updated versions of them-

RP Doodles for RPs that I'm doing as we speak

LOG Data (I've been typing away for days on some of these to catch up on the stuff-)

Creating my own Headcanon for Sector V and other canon characters (Basically a universe for Gianna-)

And so much more!!!!

Don't worry though, I'm gonna be taking as much time as needed to be able to properly organize all of these awesome ideas, though I think for the meantime, I'm gonna try and focus on Gianna's main storyline that involves her improvement on the Treatment Program and how she will successfully get out of it!

Most of her adventures she will have, I plan to maybe do them via roleplays or from doing asks with all my moots and at one point, involve them in the main storyline for Gianna! (That is of course, I get consent for those that see this~)

So the LOG Data you see, those are actual reflections from roleplays that I have completed or in progress that I think are considered worthy for Gianna to report, for this is part of her program to see if she has been improving or not during the course.

I might even at one point ask for help now and then from my friends to gib ideas and of course properly credit them since they are all amazing~

As far as how I will tell the story on here, I have some ideas of doing Arcs with chapters, following with illustrations now and then, or maybe attempt to do a comic series. Who knows, we shall see~

I'm hoping though to try and get more asks in her inbox since sadly it's been empty for the most part and I was hoping people were curious to know her more while I work on some stuff on the side.

Don't worry though! Everything's all good! I'm just pushing a gentle reminder that the Asks are open for Gianna and the ocs listed that are open for questions~ <3

Now inspired by the lovely @kandykatz's way of their organizing their master posts, I might go for that way of organizing my stuff properly, or might do some twists, who knows, still gotta figure that out-

I...think that's all I have for now in what's the plan for this blog, if anything comes to mind I will edit this post or maybe do a part 2.

Thanks guys for taking the time to read! I hope to continue cooking up in the kitchen with yall and have some fun here~

[hypersomniagame]

HYPERSOMNIA MAY DEV LOG : “COOKIN' IN THE KITCHEN”

Hi! For all of you who follow HYPERSOMNIA, you should already know what the gist is here yada yada yada,

if you don't know what this is or are confused on what hypersomnia is read the other dev logs i've said this like every time lol

Hey! Hi! Hello! Welcome to the dev log!

I'd like to apologize about last month, I was going through a big block on development and I got practically nothing done. I've also been focusing on real life stuff which has been strange!

OK! So, first things first. Some of you might've seen on our Twitter, the new trailer is DONE! It's been "finished" for a few weeks now but I went back and made some small edits and now I can fully say it's complete!

I'm insanely happy with how this one came out. I went all out on it and I think you guys will agree when it releases that it just completely blows all our other trailers right out of the water. From music, to editing, to visuals, presentation, everything.

I'm more than excited to show you guys this trailer, and hopefully you all will be able to see it soon! It'll be premiering in this years MOTHER DIRECT (as always lol), so be ready for that! Tons of great fangames and indies are gonna be shown off, along with other MOTHER projects, so if you're interested I highly suggest you keep up with M4E.

Now, onto a more direct game update!

As of right now, the demo is about 50% playable!

This month has been almost exclusively eventing and scripting for the game. That 50% doesn't mean the demo is halfway finished, but it means that we're halfway there to getting the demo playable from start to finish. There's still a lot I gotta do, but eventing is the biggest hurdle for me currently, so it should only be up from here.

Also,

Pigeonville got a bit of a makeover recently! I wanted to make the town look a bit more lively and urban, so I took the time to redo and add a few different buildings. I'm really happy with how it changed the look of the town, and I hope to use this as a base for other areas going forward.

This didn't come without some challenge though. Both the game's prologue and first chapter take place in Pigeonville, and because so many different events are used between the 2 sections, I've had PV split between 2 maps, one for the prologue and the other for chapter 1.

I initially did these edits on the CH1 version of the map, but while porting them to the PL version, I managed to completely screw up almost all the events in the prologue. So while it didn't have to be completely rescripted, I did have to do some playtesting for like a week just to make sure I caught everything that broke.

-

Speaking of bugs, there's been a bit of bug-squashing going on this month. My friend Muffins (Who helps write for the game) and I both sat down and tried to just play through what we have so far, and it was an experience to say the least. The game was NOT this broken in March, so playing through it just showed me so much stuff that broke, and some of it was absolutely hilarious.

I didn't record any of it though! Which is a shame! I'd totally post a montage or something of just the absolute funniest glitches we encountered but I guess it's for another time.

And that's all for this month! Sorry it's not much, but I figured it'd be better to give some sort of update then just oddly go silent. Things will most likely pick up during the mid-summer months, I'll have more stuff to talk about, these logs will be longer like they were back in January and we'll all be home on time for Jay Leno.

It's a bit hard to talk about scripting stuff out for the game since I only can talk about so much before I start spoiling stuff. Will June be better? Will there even be a log in June? Will I survive the summer heat? Only time can tell. And the weather man.

If this is your first log you're reading, or even your first time seeing ANYTHING relating to HYPERSOMNIA, I got a whole bunch of links for you to check out if you wanna know more about me and my stupid little game.

TWITTER

YOUTUBE

STEAM

UNIQUE INDIE RPG'S [SHOW US YOUR GAME!]

[PREV] [ABOUT HYPERSOMNIA] [NEXT]

[insidejizz]

ROBOTUS alpha-beta headcanons

first writing post is gonna be some general headcanons for everyones favorite robot =) feel free to request any other characters , or anything at all 

// he wont outright say it but he. has a bias against bears because of bearo now.

mostly he just makes like petty comments if he sees a bear or anything? calls them stupid and annoying

of course this would quickly change if anyone gave him something that was a bear.

hed make some comment about it, something about how "you must not know me very well if you thought this was a good gift" but also he. wont give it up no matter what.

like if they offered to get him something else? its instantly 'no takebacks live with your choices' because he refuses to genuinely say he likes something that is bear themed.   but he does.

// i think if he had access to more shows (reagan please give him access to ur streaming services PLEASE) he would still love lighthearted cheesy shit like sitcoms

like as much as he enjoys high stakes where humans all die (lol), he finds it a lot more fun to watch shows where its just a bunch of. harmless idiots existing.

the office, parks and rec, schitts creek, etc etc. 

of course this makes him. insufferable to any non-sitcom enjoyer but if you show him other things you can wean him off of it u just gotta find other funny shows

one time he compared reagan to sheldon from big bang theory. he didnt….. mean it to be mean? it was a simple observation, but it did NOT go over well with reagan 

other shows he would enjoy, imo;

the good place

game shows! he gets SO heated watching gameshows bc he will play along and get mad if he cant get the answers right shgsghjdsjgn

columbo

gravity falls

// does not know his own strength sometimes and will just like crush shit in his hand accidentally

like he doesnt. MEAN to but hell be holding something and then flex his hand a little to make sure its not locking up and WHOOPS he crushed that solo cup and now reagan has to fix a beer-logged robot arm

tries to hold a cardboard box gently and just rips holes into it trying to get the right strength grip on the box

with things that are more solid, hes just fine because he can stop when he feels resistance and know he's holding it firmly but not breaking anything

but with fragile things? there is no resistance and then its broken and hes like. aw fuck

// myc gave him a furby at one point. said he found it in storage and it reminded him of ab because it never shuts up and runs on batteries.

ab HATES it. absolutely loathes the thing. it sets a bad example for robotkind, its UGLY, its ANNOYING, and he CANT MAKE IT SHUT UP.

has taken out the batteries before . insists that it kept going even after he took them out so he just put them back in anyway

( in reality he took the batteries out, got lonely, and put them back in)

he gave it a name but its like. a WEIRD ASS name. its essentially just a glitch noise

said he did it bc "no human should ever be allowed to sully its name" which is. oddly endearing in his own way

if you are able to sneak up on him you might be able to hear him cooing at the furby. plots world domination with it like an evil mastermind and his cat

// WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT AND ONLY REAGAN KNOWS BC THEY SHARE THE SAME STREAMING SERVICES BUT…….. he LOVES my little pony. specifically equestria girls

cried watching the first equestria girls movie, refuses to admit he cried watching the first equestria girls movie.

he also… secretly imagines the gang as the mane six? it wasnt hard for him to decide who was who and he will just sit there during meetings like "haha that is SO rainbowdash of you myc…."

(if youre interested, his assignments are :)

myc ; rainbow dash

glenn ; applejack

gigi ; rarity

reagan ; twilight sparkle

andre ; pinkie pie

brett ; both spike and fluttershy. ab will argue for both and he will win the argument.

(btw he sees himself as sunset shimmer<3<3<3<3)

[sentientgopro]

So, the other day, I told the first other person I know IRL that I cracked, over a month after it happened, and it was, well, weird.

The reason for it being this person in particular was that I know, damn well, they get it. Hell, they're a massive egg themselves, their words, not mine. So I knew if I was gonna tell anyone, they had to be first.

I didn't wanna outright bring it up to them if I could avoid it, so I started with small hints every now and again, like being a little too careless with keeping my phone close to me while I had an r/egg_irl or r/traaaaaa... post on my feed. They commented on it when they saw egg irl, I told them Im not an egg, they looked at me as if to say "yeaahhh sure about that buddy" and I followed up by saying an egg is someone who hasn't realised it, And I realised a month ago.

Idk if I wasn't clear enough, it was kinda loud in the room, of whether they thought I was joking, but they didn't really react to it at the time.

It wasn't until we went on a walk to get lunch a week or so later, and they kinda got into something a bit personal out of the blue, and it really set the tone of "we dont normally talk about shit but we can do that right now." As it goes, the thing they were talking about could feed kinda well into me being more upfront with what I was trying to say. I repeated the same "Im not an egg" trick I did last time but clearer, and we had a back and forth exchange of

"But In a cis way right?"

"No."

"But in a-"

"No."

"...

...

...But in a-"

"no."

and it kinda seemed to catch them off guard a bit, being so upfront with what I was saying. As I said, they say themself that they're a massive egg, as a joke, ofcourse. But I think they were so suprised by me doing that because they feel the same way but are down so many layers deep in "in a cis way, still cis tho". And it kinda makes me wonder if me being so upfront and honest with myself about it will help them be honest to themself. Either way, I feel like I'm starting to read too much into someone elses emotions and make assumptions based on nothing.

Other than the initial suprise, they didn't really react much and have much else to say, and I really think thats a good outcome? Like, they get my situation, I can't start transitioning for a while, so they understand that I'm not really trans yet, Im just telling them how I feel, and kinda reacted like that was the case. The most they said was when I was talking about how I just kinda gotta manage it for now until I can move out and they said "Fuck it, we ball" and I was just like. Exactly, you get exactly what I mean.

So its weird, because while it feels like a massive deal to me and feels kinda anticlimactic, I dont really want to be treated like its a massive deal yet? Because really, nothing has or will change for a long time, and thats part of the reason I havent come out to more people yet, because its just gonna be awkward to continue like I never said anything afterwards. But this was good.

So, this has been a fairly aimless log just generally talking about my first experience kinda coming out as trans (not my first experience of coming out, plenty of people know Im Ace) so I wanted to write down my thoughts on it. After so many posts like this, it still feels kinda silly, but I guess the whole point of blogs is that theyre kinda like public diaries? idk.

Its also worth noting this was part of one of my 3 goals for this year, to start kinda coming out to people. I doubt Ill tell anyone else, maybe one other person I can trust, but idk. As for the other 2, I really havent made a great deal of progress with planning my transition, but thats fine, its January. As for "100%ing Celeste to the best of my ability?" Kind already done after 40hrs and just over a month of having it. I thought thatd take me alot longer lmfao. So, update to that one, lets say, Strawberry Jam done up to expert lobby? Sure, why not.

[ohtobeleah]

Ya girl needs happy thoughts about ToE...so looking into the future, who teaches Dot how to drive?? And does she ever get to drive the Bronco?? Is she good at driving? Is she bad? Does she get her own car??

I feel like Bradley definitely takes on that duty for all three Bradshaw children. But of course it starts with Dot. And that’s not negating that you definitely do the odd lesson here and there when you’ve gotta run to the shops and Dots clawing at your ankles to let her drive you.

Jake does a couple too, purely out of convenience, he stops by Dots school. Parks the car, changes up where he’s post up, straps in for dear fucking life and text Amilia (Who is never ever allowed to teach anyone ever, how to drive)

But it’s mostly Bradley. And it’s still up for debate about the Bronco. That’s Bradley’s baby. So when Dot is dangling the Bronco keys in front of her dads face once Sunday morning when he’s very much enjoying still being in bed at a late ten thirty—Bradley is raising a brow, looking his daughter dead in the eye before he’s rolling over with a gruff.

“I’m old but I’m not senile—I’ve told you no.”

“Dad! Come on, the Bronco is so cool! You have to let me drive it just once!”

“You can’t drive stick shift—“

“Because you haven’t taught me!” Okay she had him there. So with a heavy sigh and far too much hesitancy evident in his tone of voice—Bradley is sitting up, Dot hates that her dad isn't like all the other dads she knows. He’s fit and tan and keeps himself in shape. It makes her squint her eyes shut and groan because he’s not wearing a shirt and the matching tattoo he has with uncle Jake is on full display on his right pec.

“Fine, go get your log book.” Dot beames. She’s so ecstatic that she gets to drive the Bronco. Bradley’s not so ecstatic as he reaches for his phone, calls his hire ups and asks if he can borrow one of the tarmacs because he’s got a teenager wanting to drive the Bronco and the last thing Bradley needs is for either him or Dot? Is to be charged with unintentional vehicular manslaughter. So to base they go, the last pace Bradley Bradshaw ever wants to be on his one fucking day off.

“Okay so—“ Bradley’s nearly in tears when he watches Odette climb up into the driver’s seat of the Bronco. They’re sitting on the empty runway. “You gotta put your foot down slowly, and when you see the needle climb, shift into second.” Bradley’s trying to explain but the information being delivered is just going straight over Dots head. “Odette, are you even listening to me?”

“I am, how do I shift gears?” Oh my god this kid is gonna ruin the gearbox for sure. Bradley can practically see dollar signs coming out of Dot's mouth as she speaks.

“You have to put your foot down on the clutch, and slowly release—“

When Dot starts up the engine, turning the key into the ignition, Bradley feels his heart drop into his stomach. He’s not ready to die, not yet. He holds onto the handle above his head to the right and prays to his parents that although he loves them dearly—he wasn’t ready to see them yet.

“Dad, you can open your eyes.” Dots chuckling, she’s seamlessly changing gears, from first to second and from second to third. “Uncle Jake drives a manual, remember? I was just fuck assing around.” Dot teased her dad, who’s looking whiter than Uncle Bob on Taco Tuesday. “I know how to drive stick—“

“Oh.” It’s almost instantly Rooster is letting the tension in his muscles go. “Well, alright then.” And for a while Dot does a pretty good job just driving around the tarmac at her dad’s instruction. Bradley’s guiding her around. Telling her to slow down, speed up, chuck a right and a left and it always goes pretty well. So well in fact that he lets her drive home.

You were expecting Brsdley to arrive home in tears. But when Dot pulled up in the driveway with a smile so bright smeared across her face your heart melted.

“She’s actually a pretty good driver.” Rooster calls out as Dot parks, his forearm is resting on the rolled down window. “Don’t let Amilia get anywhere near her, we don’t want her going backwards—“

You and Bradley meet Dot half way. She saves for half her second hand car and you pay the rest. But she usually just takes whatever car is in the drive until she gets her own.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**~

[lovecolibri]

Being upset is so valid, I know it’s just a show but WHATEVER, you should allow yourself to feel what you feel! And you should also be allowed to have opinions and share them on your blog lmao I’ll be honest, I have several friends irl who watch 911 and ship buddie and we aallll cannot stand this show anymore lmao and it’s very liberating to be able to speak your mind. Sadly fandom, especially Tumblr for some reason, seems to be hellbent on making passive aggressive comments on people who don’t like what they like? I totally agree with you, if people enjoy it good for them, I’m not gonna make posts about how you have to be stupid to like it cause I don’t think that’s the case?? We are just looking for different things in a show and that’s okay! However I am a blocking machine cause I don’t see the point in reading takes that are so different from mine 😂 but it is very frustrating that any negative comment needs to be censured or you become the devil and also you are not capable of understanding long form of media and also you should stop watching the show hskshdk I have stopped watching the show and I still like to check what happened and I still like to complain, what can you do about it 😂 anyway I hope you’re okay, and take care of yourself! I remember when Roswell made me soooo mad and I had to deal with it alone and it sucked 😔 and you don’t have to publish this if you don’t want to, I don’t mean to create drama or anything, just wanted to be supportive 😂

Hey, thanks Nonnie! I think for a lot of people (I'm for sure one of them, yay neurodivergency), when you find something that's a source of serotonin, it can be QUITE the crash when it stops, and no matter how low your expectations, if you struggle with emotional regulation, the rollercoaster can be rough. Curating your experience is a MUST, and knowing how to manage when your brain tries to get the best of you is also a must! Sometimes that means commiserating with others who are also unhappy (NOT going into the inboxes of people who clearly disagree with you. stop that), sometimes it means logging off and doing something else, sometimes it means reading or writing fic or making content that makes you happy about the thing, sometimes it means not looking at ANYTHING about the thing. At the end of the day, we're all just trying to do what works for us.

As a survivor of RNM, I thought I could handle this but I think RNM got SO bad SO fast that it was always a lot of "here are 3 good things that people will make AMAZING fics/metas/content about and 85 things you will need to ignore or you will start seething with rage". Where as 911 was so consistent for so long that watching it struggle so hard (across the board, not just with Buddie, though that seems to get the brunt of it on the "nearly unwatchable" scale whereas other stuff is more "meh. they could have done this better") has been really rough because there is already so much love for the show built up and we have SEEN what it can be when it's at it's very best. And disliking certain arcs or story choices doesn't necessarily mean throwing the whole show out! There are LOTS of things I love about this show, and I'm not at the point for me where I'm ready to let the show go and I've never really understood the "don't like, don't watch" attitude every time anyone brings up a single complaint. It seems very "you HAVE to love every single thing and choice or you can't watch the show" when most people have things they both like and dislike about pretty much everything! It's okay to not like every single choice! (though if you legit find nothing to enjoy about a thing then it's maybe not for you and that's okay!)

Thanks for checking in! I have a lot of other stuff going on right now so it's very much like "why is this the thing we are focusing on, brain? Why are we allowing ourselves to feel like this? It's a show??" but hey! Sometimes our brains do whatever TF they want and we just gotta manage as best we can. At on the bright side, tumblr has filters! You can block tags! You can block content within posts! this will let you remove certain stuff from your experience without necessarily having to unfollow people. BUT! You can also unfollow people! You can block people! Make your experience what you want! And learn what works FOR YOU to manage your disappointment. Some people are "gotta get the anger out to let it go" people, and some are "gotta find the positive spin" people and some are both or neither. Find what works. Do that. Don't be dicks in people's inboxes, and don't drag the cast/crew into the drama on public sm platforms, they don't plan out the storylines.

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Thunderbrush 6

How Do I Exclude My Scorpions?

A conwoman disguised as a noble and the delegation of university students studying her have arrived in the jungle city of Thunderbrush, ruled by ancient dryads and organized crime. Will they manage to stay uninvolved in shady conspiracies? (No.)

Story so far | Session log index | Previous session

Last time, Looseleaf very successfully mimicked her sister's appearance, which failed to fool her co-conspirator in the secret society- but it's fine, they had a nice talk anyway. Oh and the co-conspirator got robbed, but not by Looseleaf, and it's a big mystery!

After that, Looseleaf went back and met up with Saelhen and Oyobi and got some skewers, while Oyobi told them all about the rules and regulations and meta of the venerable sport of Warball. (I'm gonna make a post for that but it's gotta wait because I'm doing a thing that won't be done until later.) In the meantime, we soldier on, to... get some literal lab rats from the Zoology department, which surely couldn't turn into a disaster.

...I'm sorry, they what?

Uh, we'll get to that. First, they have to get there- and there's something in the way. It's not the huge, expensive, and anachronistic metal walls in the way, or the exterior stone wall, or the leather-armor-clad guards manning the gate. Those things they could just walk right past, because they're visiting students and the security isn't to keep people out.

No, the thing in the way is a goblin and two halflings, clad in ostentatious black-and-yellow robes, all glaring menacingly. The party, undaunted, walks right up.

Long-Arms, Student Council President of Thunderbrush Metropolitan University, has no patience for these interlopers.

Saelhen's approach here is to pretend like the Headmaster told them that the Student Council would be generously showing them around town, and acting oblivious to any hostility. Long-Arms insists he will NOT be showing them to tea.

Looseleaf has as little patience for this guy as he does for her, and attempts to just walk right past them. She asks the actual guards where to go to get lab rats, and they helpfully give her directions, likewise ignoring the Student Council. She heads straight inside, much to the consternation of Long-Arms, still being thoroughly fucked-with by Saelhen's false politesse.

Saelhen attempts to flick a ball bearing at one of the bombs to knock it away, but accidentally sets it off instead. Still, this disorients the Student Council just long enough for Saelhen to turn invisible and slip inside, losing the Council in the process.

They pass through a magic security checkpoint of some sort, which... goes off, when Saelhen invisibly goes through. The guard is flummoxed, though- he writes it off as a false positive, since none of his detection magic seems to be picking up on Saelhen's form of invisibility.

(While invisible, Saelhen hears... sounds, in the distance somewhere. Almost like whalesong. Deep, reverberating moans. Heard by no one else.)

The party meets back up and heads to the office of Ondere Groove, head of the Zoology department.

Their job is to be a bureaucratic obstacle, but they're not interested in being a bureaucratic obstacle- they do some creative accounting to deal with the party's unusual situation as guests, and get some requisition forms for them to sign before sending them on their way. It's pretty painless- Blacksky University is apparently on the hook for the "losses" of the rats, but it's not the party's problem.

They head down to the basement, where the feed room is. Getting down there is a little more of an ordeal- Saelhen has to shake a Student Council tail by tripping them up with ball bearings, and there's a guard posted at a heavy locked trapdoor who has to run them by the rules of the ZOOLOGY STORAGE area. Long and short of it: don't let anything escape with you when you leave.

They head down a super deep stairwell, into a long corridor lined with huge glass windows opening into... holding cells? Terrariums?

There's a bunch of containment units for various monsters. Packs of wolf-sized feathered reptiles, a fifteen-foot-tall wooden marionette covered in wriggling runes, living distortions that look like jellyfish, a t-rex bobbledragon, a subtly-swaying silken cocoon, a collection of rocks stacking themselves on each other, and- to Looseleaf's considerable consternation, considering her species and an associated phobia- a giant spider.

The most notable specimen, though, is a few windows down, as they head down the hallway. And... this has gotta be a thing that's been in a video game, I bet I can google images it...

Okay, yep, cool, Monster Hunter done already did it so I don't gotta draw anything. Huge crystal scorpion!

Up on a catwalk inside the cell, holding a bundle of rags, is a terrified halfling girl, who seems deeply alarmed by the scorpion that she was surely already aware was in the room.

The scorpion seems to be targeting Saelhen in particular, for some reason. Looseleaf, assuming she'll be safe, attempts to use spirit magic to reinforce the glass... but fails. And Saelhen attempts to dance mesmerizingly to direct its strikes at less weakened parts of the glass... and also fails. Uh-oh.

The glass shatters, and combat begins!

Looseleaf starts by jumping up on its tail, the one place it can't sting. From there, she tries to improvise and restrain it with spirit magic- and, uh, fails again. She does, however, pick up on how most of the scorpion's body isn't part of the organism- there's some sort of shriveled internal musculature that's arranged some actual rocks into the shape of a scorpion.

Meanwhile, Saelhen attempts to keep the thing occupied. It's laser-focused on her, so she focuses on dodging, and expertly avoids its crystal hammerblows while occasionally tossing knives into cracks in its stone armor created by Oyobi's wild blows.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Are you even trying, gigantic scorpion?" Benedict (GM): It screeches a horrible grinding chalkboard noise. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "I will thank you not to speak of my mother that way."

Then... Looseleaf tries something. She has a thing called "Painread", a trick she learned by studying the torture wizard's notes, which allows her to simultaneously attack and learn the target's HP.

So, how does she advance Deep? Well... that connection she established...

Then it's Saelhen's turn to have a truly fantastic idea.

Normally, it's very difficult to send things to the other side. The other side wants to spit things back out. Things from this world don't belong there, and it takes the bracer's magic to keep them even partially submerged. There's resistance.

Benedict (GM): This thing? There is no resistance at all. It's smooth as silk, sinking into the other place with you. You've taken it back to where it's supposed to be. And it is screaming in terror. Do you want to stick around to see what happens to it, or head back?

The things on the other side swarm and devour the scorpion alive as it screams in panic and agony.

And meanwhile, in the material plane, the monsters in the nearby cages seem agitated, drawn to the same call, trying to push through the walls. Everyone is panicking about this, and the scorpion's disappearance.

Saelhen stays to watch for a bit- but it seems like the things that are eating the scorpion have started to notice her, and something takes a bite out of her leg. She pulls the plug and returns to the material plane- and the scorpion doesn't come with her. Looseleaf immediately treats the bite wound- which was full of nasty neurotoxin, and could've been fatal. Saelhen opts to store the extracted neurotoxin in a jar of honey.

The aftermath is pretty messy, but doesn't take too much remarking on. The Student Council shows up, demanding that they account for the disappearance of university property, and they stonewall 'em pretty hard. They get the box of one dozen rats they came for, no problem. As they leave, they go through security- and Evelyn shows up and verifies that Saelhen hasn't stolen the scorpion or anything. Long-Arms, cowed by his boss, is totally miserable.

The only real issue is- the girl in the enclosure earlier accosts them. Goldie Lightharvest, zoology student, was in charge of handling that specimen- it was her big term project, and now it's just gone? Where'd it go?

Saelhen stays pretty vague about this. She mentions she "sent it back where it came from" and provides no further useful details, much to Goldie's frustration.

This doesn't satisfy her, though, and it seems like she might be back later to make some trouble for the party for robbing her of her important zoology project.

Next time, though: it's time to do some science with lab rats to explore the limits of the bracer's abilities, spirit magic, and... uh, necromancy? Maybe???

-------

...That night: Looseleaf has a nightmare.

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███ ██ ███████ hurt. ███████, ██ ███████ hurt. ██ ██ ███ █████ █████ ██████ ████ ████ ██ ████ ████ ████ ██████ hurt. ███ ████ ███████ ██, ███████ ██████████ ████ ██ ███ █████ ██ █████ ████ ████ █████- ████ █████. ██ ██████ ███ ████ ███████ ██. ███████ ███████ ██ ████ ███████ ████ █████ ██ ████████ ███ hurt ███. ███ ████, ███ ████ ███ ████████ ██████ ███ █████, ███ ██████ ████ ████ ███. ██████ ████ █████████ ██ █ ██████, ███ ██████ ███████ ██ ███ ███- ███ ███ ███ ████ ████████ ██ █ █████ █████. ███████ ██ ███ █████ █████ ██ ██████ ██ ███ ███. ███ █████ ██ ██ ███ ███, ████████ ████ ███ ████████ ███████ ████████, ███ ██ ███████ hurt ███. ███ ████ ██ ████ ███ ████ ███ ████████ ██ █████ █████████. ███ █████ ████. ███ █████ ███ ████? ███████ hurts. ███████, ██████████, ███████ ██████ ███ ██ ███ ██ ███ ███ ███ ██ ████ ████████ ██████ ██ hurt ███. Panic █████ ████████ ████... ████? ███████. ███████ ███████ ██ ████ █████ ████. ██████ █████ ██████ ███ █████ ███████ ███ panic. ██ ███ ███. ███ █████ ████ ███ ████. ███ █████ █████ ██████ ████ ██ █████, █████ █████████ ██████ ██████ ███ ███ █████ hurt ███, ███ ███ ███ █████ ███ ████████ ███ █████ hurt. ███ █████ ████ ████ "heaven" ██, ███ ███ ██ ████ ████ ██████ ██ ███ ████ ████████ █████ ███ █████ ██. ██ █████████████- █ █████ █████ ███████ hurts.

███ █████ █████████ ████████ ███ ███ ████ ██ ██ ██ █████ ███ ██████ ███- ███ ████ █████. ████ ████ ███ ████ ███ █████ █████ ██ ███████ █████ ████ ███████ ████. ███ ███ █████ ███ ██ ███████. ███ █████ ██ ███ ██████- ███ ██████████, █████████ ████ █████ ███ ███ ████ ████ █████ ███████ ████ ██████ ██ ████ ██. ██ █████ ██ █████. ███ █████ panic, ██████ ████ ████ ████ ███ hurt. ███ █████ █ ████ ████ ████ ██ ████ █████. ███ █████ ██ ██████ ███ ████ ██ ████ ██████- ███ █████ ██ ███████ ███ panic ███ pain. ████ ███ ████ ███. ██ █████ hurt ███ ███████- ███ ███████ ███████ ████ ████████ ████████. ███ ████ █ █████ ████████ ██████████ ███. ██ ███ █ ████ ██ ███ ███. ███ ███ ███ ███ █████ ████ ████ █████. ██ █████ ██ ████ ███ ████ █████. ████ found you. ███ █████ ███ ██ ██ ████. ███ ██████ ████ ███ ███ ████ ███████, ███ █████ ████ ███ ███ ████ weapon. ███ ██████ and ██████ and ██████ and ██████ and ████ and ████ and ████ and ████. ████ too ████. ██████ █████ too ████. ███ ██████ panicking ██████. █████████, ███ ███ █████ ████ ██ ███████, hurts. ███ ██████. ███ ████ ███ █████ ████████ ██████ ███ █████████ ███ ███ ███ ███ ██████ ███ ██ ██ ███ ████.

███ ████ █████.

██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ███ █████ ████████ ██████ and ██████ and ██████.

██████████! ████, ███████ ███ █████ ████ ████ ██ ████ ███████ ████████████? ███████ ███ █████ ██ ████████ ███ ██████? ████ ██ ██ █████! ██ █████! ██ ██████! ███ ████ ███ ███ ██ ██████ ██!

███ ██████ ██████ ██ ██ ███ ███ ████ ████████ ████████. ███ ████-█████████, ███ ██████, ███ █████████ ████. ███ ███████ ██ █████ ██████ surround ███ drown ███. ███ ████ ███████ ██ hide.

███ ████ ████, ████? ████ ███ ████████. ████ ████ █ ████, █████ ███?

███ █████ ████████ █████ ███████ ███ ████ ███ ██████████, ███ e █ e █y █ █ █ n █ HURTS

She wakes up shaking, unable to remember the source of the panic wracking her body.

[spoopy-action-at-distance]

A Burnout Update:

I currently have limited modes of operation, which keep fluctuating over time. When I finally acknowledged that I was burned out, I had a single mode: Overwhelmed And Exhausted. Then I progressed to having two separate modes: Gotta Do Something and Crash. After that, I alternated between Sleep and Exhaustion for a while. I've now made my way up to having whopping four separate modes: Sleep, Exhaustion, Boredom, and Ache.

Right now I'm in Ache mode. This may have something to do with yesterday's mode being Boredom, which is, even when I'm doing better, a good predictor for "I'm gonna end up Doing A Thing that will entertain my friends later". I'm not impulsive, exactly - it's more like what that one post that's been going around is about, the one that talks about how disabled people also have the right to sometimes overdo it on purpose for dumb reasons. I might know I'm probably going overboard, but damn I am tired of sitting on my hands, so you get something like what follows.

I left home to go see a candle display in a park after sunset. A friend was supposed to also come, but was too knackered, so I was left to my own devices. This may have also contributed alongside the Boredom. See, as pretty as the candles were, I didn't feel like they had provided quite Sufficient an Experience for me not to be bored any more.

Wracking my brain for something else to do, I remembered that there was a nature path a few kilometres away. It goes around a small lake in the woods and is only about 3 km long, which seemed ideal at the time. I'd last been there some ten years ago so it wouldn't be overly familiar, either. But that also meant that I didn't remember the way very well, and did I mention it was already dark? Because it was dark already. But there might be lights along the paths, you know?

Spoiler: There were no lights.

What there was, instead, was a long dirt road that felt like it was going into Dead End Redneck Cannibal country, and an unexpected but adorable gaggle of city teenagers, who had very clearly come there specifically to play a game called "OoOoOoOoo Spooky Dark Forest, Who's Too Chicken To Go In?" One of them saw my bike's headlight when they were getting out of their car and promptly freaked the fuck out, so they were off to a great start. I couldn't really cast any stones there, though, since I was there for pretty much the exact same reason as they were. We went in different directions, but for a good while I could see their juddering phone lights across the water and hear them yelping and screeching at each other.

As for myself, I stumbled over rocks and tree roots for about an hour. I chose not to use my phone for a light because whenever I turned it on it made it much harder to see anything that wasn't directly illuminated. There was just enough wind to remove the "what was that noise" factor, and there were some low-hanging clouds, which reflected the lights from nearby settlements back down enough to give the scenery a sense of sunset colours faded into black. It let me see just enough that there was only one time I almost walked into a tree. Here's my attempt to photograph the pretty, if dim, lake:

Every now and then I would come across a duckboard, so I knew I was still on the right track. I lost my way just once, when the path forked in the middle of a patch of bare rock and the right path was hard to find in the gloom. The other path led away from the lake, into a large logging clearing.

That was also where I had my single instance of Proper Nerves during the entire adventure, because there was a Big Black Lump in the distance and I thought it might have been a moose. Now, a deer - that would have been mundane. A wolf sighting would have been incredibly cool and rare luck, and a bear would have commanded Respect. But a moose? That's a half-a-tonne antisocial tank on stilts. I backed off fast and left the lump, whatever it was, to its clearing, and fortunately found the right path after a more thorough search.

The highlight of my hike came when I arrived at a sparsely wooded little peninsula made of bedrock scored clean by the last ice age, with an unobstructed view over the lake. Unlike the last time I'd been there, it was furnished with a wooden table covered by a canopy, a grill, and an outdoors toilet. There were several good spots for a tent or a hammock, too. Someone else had recently been there, because the grill still held some glowing embers. I considered trying to heat up water for a cup of tea, but decided against it, because if it got any darker it'd take bloody forever to get back to my bike without accidentally pitching face-first off any surprise inclines. It was a shame, though; the place felt magical and I would've loved to stay longer.

The teens were long gone by the time I got back to the parking lot, so we sadly couldn't congratulate each other on beating ourselves at the Chicken Game.

Now I just gotta figure out how to convince some poor unfortunate soul to let me drag them there after dark, to share the experience with them.

Oh, and because I didn't get a single usable photo on the entire trip, here's me a couple of days earlier, enjoying the spoils of a camping stove - a cup of hot tea - in the middle of a bog.

[alwastakenofc]

RANT INCOMING.

WOWIE ZOWIE it’s a good thing that tumblr keeps u logged in for FOREVER bc i would NOT have remembered that this was my username LMFAOOOO.

anyways !!! i’m just here to rant now to see if it’ll still help me like it used to. just scrolled thru all my personal tagged posts and MAN was i going thru it from 2013-2016 LOL. im glad life is better now. different, but better. me and that guy that i posted abt a lot and would rant abt how he was hanging with that girl all the time broke up in 2016 THANK GOD, that was a sick and toxic and abusive relationship that went way longer than it needed to. i moved back home with my parents and got a few years with both of them before they passed away from different circumstances (fuck alcoholism and fuck cancer). now i live with my roomie/friend and she evicted the other roomie we had that was Toxic As Fuck and a literal Man Child so WAHOO! it’s been nice.

i’m going back to college this year i think, and im both so excited and also Terrified to finish. i only have 1-2 semesters left and then i gotta go get an actual CAREER.

being famous never took off, as expected LMFAO. i don’t stream to get popular anymore, it’s just a genuine hobby i enjoy that gives me an excuse to keep playing video games and having fun. but i don’t mind not having a genuine job off of it anymore; probably should’ve attempted streaming when i was posting abt it so much a decade ago, Honestly Probably Would have taken off a bit more and actually had a chance to make money off it BUT alas, i was too lazy and worried abt public perceptions lmfao

i still have that worry abt public perception especially since i now identify as non-binary (she/they). i wish to be perceived as an amorphous blob that moseys through life, ya know? i only keep the “she/her” pronouns bc a) i’m not fully out to Everyone, and b) i just know some ppl are more used to it and i Do Not mind. i would honestly probably say i don’t prefer ANY pronouns, call me he/she/they i just do Not care, but finding ppl that would reference me as “he” while being respectful just is daunting to think abt and i do not care enough, just call me whatever. but don’t perceive me as a woman exclusively ya know LOL. i don’t identify as a woman or man, i have more feminine days and more masculine days but calling myself a woman sincerely just feels … icky and weird LOL idk like i said. AMORPHOUS BLOB SQUAD, RISE! idk how else to explain it LMAO

also discovered asexuality is a thing like 6-7 years ago which has been LIFE CHANGING !! being told you are broken by ur partner for years, being made to feel like something is Wrong with you because you don’t get why everyone is All About Sex and why tf everyone actually Enjoys Sex…. MANNNNN when i discovered asexuality i don’t think ive ever had a moment in my life where i just said “oh my GOD. it’s ME. i GET MYSELF NOW.” (until i fully understood and embraced being nb about 2 years later lmao). idk i just feel so much more confident in myself and it’s great.

hmmmm what else… i guess i had a stint of struggling with alcohol and weed, but have managed to cut it back. currently on week 2 of no smoking, gonna go a couple more weeks then maybe i’ll buy a pen and edibles. NO MORE DABS! wax just Annihilated my tolerance and not even smoking 3 full joints or eating 250mg of edibles could get me high. it was BAD. but that’s what happens when u do Multiple dabs a day, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for 5+ years !! sooooooo that’s a thing too now. i try to Only drink on weekends now (and only 2 weekends per month, instead of Every weekend, is the new goal) and know i can’t trust myself to buy alcohol on a weekday and hold it to the weekend, which honestly Go Me for that self reflection and understanding that my brain doesn’t have the ability to Not drink alcohol/do shots if it’s in my fridge lol. well, not yet at least. maybe in a couple months i’ll be able to put some vodka in my fridge on a tuesday and be able to keep it there til the weekend without touching it, but for now i still don’t fully trust myself.

BUT! i’m trying to be healthy! i did get a treadmill and jump rope and even tho ive been neglecting jumping rope (maybe i will today idk maybe not LOL) i do still try to walk on my treadmill at least every other day!! i did a mile walk today and i was So Sweaty lol it’s crazy how outta shape i am but im hoping that cutting down on weed and alcohol helps with that too overall. i miss having abs. i miss not being flabby. i have awful body dysmorphia already bc of my boobs and getting bigger has made Them bigger too and it just makes me feel Horrified when i see myself in the mirror. or see my stomach, or double chin, or jiggly arms, or WHATEVER. i just need to be healthy again UGH. anyways.

MANNNNNNNNN i’m so scared of college LOL. i’m not double majoring anymore (also not even in art college anymore HELLO lmao, i dropped out of art school and got my associates degree from community college then transferred to a university where i was originally double majoring in International Relations and Japanese)! i just am gonna drop my Japanese major down to a minor so i still at least know Some Japanese. and ill study on my own post graduation (I HOPE!!!!!) and get better. i took a 2 year break when my mom died and its just so Daunting to think of going back LOL

i really, really… REALLY need to get better with procrastination and laziness and being at a standstill/comfortable. like, i KNOW there’s more to life but i just. UGH. idk. it’s so Hard after everything that’s happened these last few years. if i didn’t lose my dad in 2018 then my mom in 2022 i think it would be a lot better. HELL, if i didn’t lose my mom to cancer in 2022 things would be SOOOOOO different!! i would’ve probably graduated with my double major and had a kickass job and my mom would’ve seen me walk the stage UGHHHHHHHH ill never forget how i lit said “you prolly won’t see me get married but you gotta stick around to watch me walk the stage” and she said “WHERE ELSE WOULD I GO????” and IDK I JUST WISH I NEVER JINXED IT UGHHHHH. i have a lot of unaddressed trauma from both my parents’ deaths that im sure therapy would definitely help with but FOR NOW, i just gotta get thru college and see wtf is waiting for me on the other side.

ALLLLLRIGHT well this went on a LOT longer than i expected and …… idk if it helped??? idk if i feel any better after typing it all out but MEHHHHHHH. it’s nice to just throw it all out into the ether and not have a ton of questions or assumptions or embarrassment or shame come from feeling like im taking up space. i think that’s been the biggest thing ive struggled with since my mom died; i can’t even post my random thoughts on twitter anymore bc the anxiety of “well who even cares, who would even care about you saying anything, why would you even post at all? what’s the point?” just gets SO damn overwhelming. ive become a COMPLETE recluse and i haven’t done ANYTHING like this rant in at Least half a decade LOL. so. idk.

typing this all out therapeutic in a way but again, i just feel kinda anxious at the same time and idk if it’s really helped me out overall. bc why does anyone care? what’s the point?… but also WHY do i feel like People Need To Care ?!?! why can’t i just go back to my old mindset where i did not give a single fuck about what i posted bc i just liked throwing my thoughts out for everyone to read?!?! idk. maybe tumblr is gonna be the bridge to help me get better with voicing random mundane thoughts that don’t matter in the long run LOL. bc WHY is that so scary to me, man….

ANYWAYS i’m done okay. wowie. what a rant. PHEW.

hope u enjoyed reading about my last 6-7 years 😎

[derealfeelz]

My favorite PS3 video game (Kodoku's Lilacs, The Life of a Flowstar No. 5)

Dear friends,

Orrr dear random people...

Never mind, I ain't gonna start up a post like that, kinda cringe ngl, even Anne Frank is better doing that than me. I'll just start up posts like the previous ones lol.

Anyways, sorry about that irrelevant writing, I'm just bored. Yesterday, I talked about video games, or specifically consoles that I had growing up with. I guess while I'm here and I still have those consoles, I'll talk about my favorite video games on them, I'll start with the PS3.

On the PS3, I got a couple of favorites, but the one I'll choose for today is Minecraft. Rest in peace to the legacy editions by the way, I remember starting with the Xbox 360 version younger, then I got the PS3 in 2014 I think. After that, I got the PS4 and the rest is history. Right now, I'll talk about the PS3 edition.

Minecraft is one of the few games I grew up with. The earliest time I remember playing was when that one tutorial world with the big building filled with beds and also there was a ship with a creeper flag in the back of the map, that's when I started playing. That tutorial world was fun though, I believe there was two versions with one adding a building at the start, I miss that and tutorial worlds altogether.

I don't remember much stuff from that time, although I can remember one big thing I did, and that was in May of 2015 lol (I remember this because the dates are still there). My oldest brother lended me his account to play with because he couldn't play on the PS4 without me disconnecting him everytime I logged on from the PS3, and what he forgot to do was to disconnect his credit card information from his account. So I managed to use this to buy all the skin packs around that time and I don't think I got in that much trouble tbh. I'd be pissed off honestly, battle mode wasn't a thing in the game yet and I only bought cosmetics (well, mash-up world's aren't exactly cosmetics), stuff that doesn't even do anything, but then again, I was 8-9, still developing.

There's not really that much I do remember, so I guess I'll talk about the modes. Survival, I didn't play that much when I was younger. I was a creative kid then, just blowing up stuff and exploring the world (although PS3 worlds were really short). Creative, I'd always play this to build stuff I think, I know I'd like blowing up though lol. I also know I'd try to do glitches on there since I'd always look up glitches for BO1 zombies, but that might be because I remember BO1 glitches more.

I don't play Minecraft anymore as I basically gotten bored of it since after the new nether update. I'll play it once in a while since I also got it on my PS4, but I don't think I'll get it on the PS5. I'll admit though, it's really one of the only games that has me be creative thinking, making me want to create stuff, especially with friends. But as time goes by, we got to try different games, and I salute Minecraft for being a game I grew up with, especially with those parody songs.

Before I go though, sorry I'm making this post really late, I forgot I was doing these as I'm not use to doing this lol. I gotta set an alarm everyday for when I got to make one of these posts, so I can look back.

Anyways I'm gone, hope to see yall tomorrow!

Sincerely, Kodoku.

[nathaniacolver]

sidon!!!!!!! bro got purifying powers now

bruh idk where toto lake is .......maybe down the waterfall??

bruh screw the zora rn imma go explore akkala actually

hudson construction site!!!!!

BRO the steering thing makes everything so much easier oh my goodness the devs said "let's make this easy on them and hard on us"

beep beep the bus is coming through!!!

BRO IT'S KOLTIN okay hold on a sec while i go deal some drugs

got the moblin mask now, exciting, AND some mystic armor!!!

(can you get negative rupees in this game?????........hm/mmm)

gonna get the tower.......in just a sec.......there's a shrine

BRO this shrine is so hard. i've died like 10 times

okay so i've resorted to just hiding behind the wall so the constructs can't see me, and then just letting the homing constructs do their thing. so far so good

iOH frick the constructs booted them off the side

idk they are still dealing damage so idk

it's been like 5 whole minutes but i am not letting naked link die again

wait did they flip over on their own????? bruh

FINALLY I'M EDONEEE

CANNON SHIELD LET'S GOOOOO

oh okay so another stable. nice. oh yeah someone gave me a sleepover card!!!!! so cute of her

bro i just chucked this cucco into the well and the other one laid an egg. idk what that means about mating rituals but whatever

speaking of.........are cucco genderless??? asexual?????? bruh

one shot the thing????? girl............okay i'll come back later

cucco prophetess????? okay go off queen

bro WHAT why can't i let tulin help me

okay getting to the top of the stable took me like 10 tries and the logs took me 1. what does that mean

YIGA CLAN CUCCO LOLLLLLLLLLLL BRO. BRO.

not penn being like "i didn't think cuccos could talk.........(they are lower-intelligence aves)"

okay let me actually go get the tower for real now

floating over to sky islands.......as per usual .........

oop flux construct IIs are a bittttt harder than Is. let's get that old map though

bro i need to get all the vows asap so that they all help me fight bc having ghost warriors on your side is op and tulin keeps critting this construct

YO I JUST CAUGHT ONE OF THE STAR FRAGMENTS THAT DIVE WITH YOU FEOM THE SKY LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO

another day another shrine (i think that's literally the rate that i do them in in-game)

oh so THAY'S what sneakstrike is. wow learned something new....okay now I can put these yiga swords to good use

shooting a brightbloom into the chasm and chasing after it

FKAJFKSJFWJFKKEJF FRICJJJJJKKKKKK BRO THERE'S A MASSIVE FROG THING IN AJKALA CHASM DO NOT FO IN THERE I REPAT DO NOT GO IN THERE

octorok lake......what is this rock puke in the middle .....

haha meant rock pile but that's fine too

what is the point of making the fight music play when wolves are around? they don't even attack you really....

me meeting up at every stable with penn........he's luckily he's a rito that flies or else i'd be suspicious as to how he always is there before me

*sighs* yes.........i'll go fight the monsters on that dreaded spiral thing

MALANYA'S A BOY NOW????? WAIT WAS HE ALWAYS??????

Ohhhhhhhh different beach......oh bruh so i have to go on those pirate ships????

JENGA SHRINE?????????

bro so i got the 2 chests and then i just made the Jenga tower slightly topple and i just caught the ball with ultrahand.

wait lol you didn't even have to Jenga it.......lol

bro this dude's name is "traveler???" ......yeah i don't believe that

WAIT.........frog statues.........

BRO DID THE YIGA CLAN TAKE OFER THE ANCIENT TECH LAB??????

okay lemma save real quick

wait they were so easy to beat up with my 36 damage captain III spear......🙈🙈

but does this REALLY mean i'm allowed to go inside now.....

THERE'S A CIVILIAN IMPRISONED HERE????? konba baby i'll make sure nothing happens to you

ooh traveling medallion???? okay gotta report back to robbie

i finally saw that pic of link that everyone's been posting lol

now tell me why i gotta use ascend in this tower bc they blocked off the stairs.....

is this frog looking somewhere important

bro okay so if i return can i fight the yiga again????

why is this fairy- oh it's the male malanya

BRO YOU JNOW HOW MANY TIMES BEEDLE EAS SERLING ENDURA CARROTS AND I NEEVR BOUGHT ONE?????

tried to float up to the upper maze but my time rune was not long enough i guess :/

Boujee!!!! show me the way

LOL I MEANT BLUPEE XD

BRO THERE WAS ANOTHERRRRR BLACKKKKKK HORRIBLIN ARE YOU SERIOUS? bro i almost peed my pants QUICK EAT SOMETHINF and a blue one.....this must be a GOOD good cave

BRO THE LIKE LIKE JUST ATE TULIN?????!!!??!?!???!? ARE YOU OKAY BUD

A BLACK HINIX????????? OH BRO NOT RIGHT NOW NOT RIGHT NOW I'LL COME BACK AT THE END OF THE CAVE SHEESH

okay again my construct III spear took care of the hinox so easy

DIAMONDS HAVE 25 FUSE ATTACK POWER?????

dang this cave is LONG it went all the way to the island

BRO NOT GLOOM HANDS NOPE. UEETING MYSELF DOWN THE HOLE

bro this cave is so lonnggggggggggg gotta go do the shrine now

oh nvm console is low battery. okay gonna go watch some cleaning vids for a bit

need to live tweet my playing of totk but don't wanna be annoying on my irl so i'll just do it here. this is the first bit:

BEWARE: TOTK SPOILERS BELOW

"i know i'll be ok with you link" okay they are IN LOVE

WHERE IS LINK IN THE CUTSCENE. THEY HAVE TO SHOW HIM IN THE NEXT 10 SECONDS OR I WILL FRET

ZONAI????!!?!!?!??!?!?! (Listen i forgot the gameplay trailer)

me walking at a respectable pace as to not leave zelda's side

BABE THERE'S TOO MUCH MALICE HERE WHY ARE WE STILL GOING

just talked to zelda and she was like "i'm so excited!!!!" GIRL DO YOU NOT HAVE AN OUNCE OF SELF-PRESERVATION

swinging the sword swinging the sword

WAIT WHY DO I HAVE 30 HEARTS WHYYYYYYY DO I HAVE 30 HEARTS

THEY JUST ADDED AN INSTRUMENT OR TWO OH FRICK AND IT'S GETTING LOUDER oh i already love the sound engineering

GLOWY SPIRAL????

DON'T PICK UP THE TEAR BABY oh frick oh frick

OH THAT'S WHY I HAD 30. FOR THE DRAMA

CAN'T LOOK AT MY TYPING I'M WATCHING THE CHTSCENE

OH FRICK IT JUST SHATTERED OH FRICK

gamer lean on x games mode rn

mans said screw it i'm out. fly you fools

BRO I WAS TYPING THE ABOVE WHEN HE LUNGED AND I GOT SO NERVOUS THAT I'D HAVE TO FIGHT FJSKDKJSJDAHHDLADG THE JOYCONS ARE FLOPPING AROUNS ON MY ARMS

THAT TEAR BETTER PROTECT HER I HOPE THAT'S WHAT THAT GLOWY YELLOW WAS

BRO WHAT. THE BLUE GLOWING IS GOOD. this is so anakin skywalker of him btw

baby don't you worry i'm gonna make link level up so fast so he can come and get you

oop naked link again AND HIS SHORTS ARE SHORTER????

nice mani link

A MAN'S VOICE???????? WHO IS IT WHY DOES EVERYONE KNOW THEIR NAMES

okay so The Voice just gives him an arm. okay

the malice or whatever stopping just at the triforce is Symbolic, i think

is it really a master sword or is it a master Dagger

i rly be taking screenshots of everything like i'm a tourist

okay green hand thing go off!!! oop give it a high five and it turns blue and goes behind you as a save point

*taking notes* okay cogs are cogging.......gears are gearing..........

now why the frick did it have me dive like that. what was The Reason

i Forgor that link can tread water indefinitely. swimming king

not me searching every nook and cranny like there's gonna be secrets in this Cave

PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARCHAIC PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wait i put them on and now he looks like a gladiator.......cardboard skirt & Jesus sandals........ok shirtless king

oop just noticed his hair animations & the layers are CRAZY but it lookin good

wait so they was underground......and now in the sky...................i have Theories

they said aerial view shot once again but i mean AERIAL

ope no climbing, you're already too high in the sky

the lighting looks SO GOOD!

it's so silent up here i love it.

the MUSIC AHHHH

WAIT EVERYTHING'S AN ISLAND???? OH WE WAY THE FRICK UP IN THE SKY LINK. HOW CAN YOU BREATHE THAT THIN AIR

this game is making me fall In Love. with Silence

TREE BRANCH YES THE WORLD IS HEALING

apples. i could Cry

is that a broom?????

wait so the soldiers are bad and the stewards are good. it's just like real life!

why do i have the feeling that this is a /different/ princess zelda that left this to him.......oh nvm it's just the purah pad. what happened to the sheikah slate???

is link gonna look at pics on it and get emo

wait so. garden of time (ok Christianity reference). so zelda has lived through some trash already and is like poor link in the past. let's give him this

aw it's lonely :(

YES WE'RE GETTING ZELDA RIGHT AWAY I COULD CRY

ooh the purah pad looks slick (i'm so sorry but why does that sound like a tampon brand LIKEEEEE)

high five!!! oh wait high fives have OTHER FUNCTIONS???!?!

now why did the bridge have to do all that fancy stuff. (ik it's for stability or whatever don't @ me engineers)l

just smashed some pots. link's Primeval Urge

ok so linear path for Diving. got it.

that's a hot-footed frog.......................i could cry. i AM crying

picked up a rock. now i just have to see some Chickens

there are Grates in the ground and you can peek below. idk why i like that so much.

i am hunting these ostriches like i might die

THAT GUY SNUCK UP ON ME SO SILENTLY. I DECIDED I HATE FLOATING MACHINE ENEMIES (don't worry i was fine)

why did i try to light a frog on fire