#was easy really. i chose the people not making me choose! they did not care i was friends with this other girl even if they didn't like her

[watercolorsam-arts]

Saw Sonic 3 tonight…. Holy Shit

I have a lot of thoughts, and a lot are really good, I had a blast watching it and I will be going to see it again.

I do however have one “complaint” I guess? Spoilers under break

I need to talk about Maria. But I want to start my little rant with *I did not dislike how Maria was handled in the movie* I quite enjoyed everything she was in. As a stand alone story in the movies, it was awesome (and personally seeing the movies as a sort of au makes the most sense for me). But I want to talk about how one character decision changed a significant amount of Maria and Shadow’s story. (Among other thoughts and things I noticed)

Maria was not explicitly stated to be sick,

It actually seems like she wasn’t sick at all.

Which I feel takes away a lot from Shadow’s creation/discovery.

Shadow in the games was created to be a cure for Maria’s N.I.D.S (Neuro-Immune Disorder Syndrome) his excess chaos energy was a byproduct of being created using Black Arms dna. He was never meant to be a weapon, he was meant to heal.

Maria cared for Shadow beyond just “this will cure me” she and Gerald saw him as himself. He might have been just a cure to Gerald at first, but Maria saw Shadow, not a weapon, or a cure, or an alien, she saw Shadow.

G.U.N saw a weapon, which is why they had to take him, and cut down anyone in their way.

By removing Maria’s sickness, you don’t have any reason for the Ark to exist, and you also don’t need to “create” Shadow. Shadow had to be dropped into the story (kinda literally as he fell from the sky) for him to have a reason to be there.

Maira and Shadow’s relationship in the movie doesn’t have quite the same impact. It even feels kind of… generic? I guess? That the “child” character doesn’t see the “monster/weapon” as one and befriends them. Maria being there isn’t nearly as justified as in the games. “Her grandfather brings her everywhere” and I get why, but still. Even if there was one line of “she gets sick easy, so the professor wants to keep an eye on her.” Instead of just “yeah they go everywhere together”. (Once again, I didn’t hate the version of their relationship in the movie, this is just a comparison to the games)

Maria not being off world also takes away from Shadow’s motivations. Maria wanted to see the world, she wanted to meet the people, and experience everything! She cared so much about a place that would cause her harm just by existing there. No matter what happened, she believed with all her heart that the people of earth deserved to live life to the fullest, even if she couldn’t. So when Shadow gets reminded that he was meant to protect and heal, he chooses to save the world Maria cared so much about.

Movie Maria’s death feels like she was caught in the crossfire for no reason, which, in its own way, has a big impact on Shadow’s arc. She had so much life to live, she was his sister, she didn’t have to die, which fueled Shadow’s hate.

Movie Shadow’s motivations for saving the day are different from game Shadow’s. His motivation is fueled by hate, and hurt, and by love. He hesitates when he hurts Tom after mistaking him for the General. He hurts watching Sonic live a similar horror to what he did. Just like Sonic has to learn, no one wins with revenge, everyone just keeps getting hurt, and he might have wanted to hurt them, make them pay for what they did, he doesn’t want to hurt. He still chooses to heal, and to protect. Maria haunts him in the way a dead star still shines for us, guiding him even though she’s gone, to show love instead of hate and hurt.

They’re both executed phenomenally, and both work in their respective stories, personally, I prefer how the game handled it, but that’s just me. And it’s so interesting to see how different yet similar the two are. The main take away is that all movie Shadow knew was that he was a weapon and chose to actively go against that, while game Shadow knew he could heal as well as hurt.

I will forever cry over the “they’re children!” Line, because… yeah… Shadow and Maria were children, who should have never gone through what they did, I need to hug them and put them back in their blanket fort with a new movie and some snacks.

And this is less of a movie/game comparison, but more so the representation of Maria’s illness. A lot of the time, we see Maria as full of life and energy, but various media like Gerald’s journal, dark beginnings, and the Shadow Campaign in generation has told us she doesn’t always have it that good. She has days where she can barely move, or she’ll need a mobility aid, or she’ll be incredibly sick even with the Arks gravity and atmosphere. Chronic illness’ don’t always impact you the same every day, but you’re still ill, even if you can’t see it, and Maria has become pretty good representation for that, which makes me kinda sad that it was dropped for the movie.

(I feel like my ramblings don’t make sense towards the end? So I think it’s a bit more just, thoughts about the movie and the game. Thanks for reading this far btw :) )

[thesweetnessofspring]

I was going to hate Gale the moment he was such an ass about Katniss wanting to bring Peeta and Haymitch when they ran away. Truly showed his colors right there.

[r3ynah]

Extended Family

DCxDP

An Au where, Maddie is Damian and Danyal, Biological mother besides Talia, Basically Talia and Maddie(+Jack) both grew up in LOA and were very best friends(lovers?? at some point including Jack). Talia wanted a natural birth for her son, as she was not really fond of the idea of a test tube baby. so she asked Maddie a favour to become a surrogate. which Maddie happily accepted. because of her experience with Jazz and Danyal's birth, Talia was sure Maddie can give birth to her son safely.

This was approved by Ra's Because he deemed Maddie as someone that could be trusted due to her becoming one of the most strongest and smart assassins in the LOA(He was fond of her, like really really fond.) So he accepted his daughter proposal for Maddie to become the surrogate.

And then Damian was born, Jazz and Danny basically loved Damian and would not go anywhere but the baby's side. Jack loved taking care of Damian due to Maddie and Talia not knowing how to take care of a baby with physical affection.(basically house husband behavior,).

As the kids grew they become closer through the years until you know, it wasn't safe for them in the LOA anymore so they helped Damian escape first to his Bio dad's place(They did let him pick though, if he wanted to stay with the fenton-nightangles or go to Bruce, he chose the latter because if something happened to them he'll have connections.) and then Maddie and Jack escaped with their children in a random town named Amity park. which turns out was a hotspot for Lazarus pits or Ectoplasm. (They decided to change the name cause everytime Jack hears the word pits he started laughing).

The children of course never severed their communication throughout the years. And Bruce never asked about his life at the LOA so he never introduced his half siblings.

Damian hated his older brother, Danyal with all his might. if you asked him to choose between his Half-sister Jazz or Danyal. He'll choose Jazz in a heartbeat.

He hated him, because of his foolishness and absolute neglect of his surroundings, making him a easy prey amongst people who wants to take advantage of him. He disliked Danyal's poor choices in life especially now.

The youngest wayne stood in the middle of one of the many hallways of his highschool as he stared at a certain, black haired and blue eyed girl, who was waving at him ecstatically, he contemplated if he should fight the girl head on or just run and escape.

Obviously in this situation he would pick the most desirable option to make sure his day wasn't ruined by his older brother, so he picked the latter. Damian dashed through the hallways, making sure to lose the girl before the third period started. He slowed down as he looked warily at his surroundings his back against the storage room incase he needed a hiding place from that test tube spawn.

When suddenly a pair of arms phased through the door embracing Damian as he tried to escape.

The girl giggled as she kept her hold on the older boy who tried to get her off him. "Hi uncle Damian!"

she greeted as she finally let go making space for the boy to take a step back.

"Danielle. Why are you here, Did Danyal send you to pester me?" He glared at his niece, as he kept his guard up.

"Kind of, mama sent me here to check up on you." She explained "You kinda went MIA when you stopped answering his texts and calls."

"This is absurd, I can take care of myself. him thinking something happened to me for not answering his calls is offending, I am not like him." Damian stated as he finally lowered his guard. And started to walk away expecting for Elle to follow to which she did.

"Eh.. You know him, His just paranoid he always is" Elle exclaimed as she looked at her schedule. "What's your next class Uncle?"

"Math."

"Ooh Yey! We're classmates, let's sit together!"

A groan left Damian as Elle chuckled and continued to look at her class schedule beside him, Peaceful quietness welcomed the two as they walked to their shared class.

——

"Do you have a apartment nearby?" Damian asked as he stood up from his table waiting for Elle as she packed her notebooks, only filled with doodles from both party.

"Nope, Mama requested that we move here for easier transport but i didn't wanna bother with all the moving stuff." Elle explained as she finished tidying up. "Beside I can just fly back and forth, what's the use of my powers if I can't abuse em."

"Your logic is as worse as Danyal." Damian exclaimed as they both headed out the door. "Follow along. you'll be staying at my manor this week."

"Why?" Elle asked suspiciously

"Because, It is a tiring job to use your flight ability for something so stupid." The boy explained.

"Is that really all?"

"Ofcourse not, As your uncle it's my job to keep you energized and unbothered, But as your mother's brother its my duty to annoy him for thinking i was in danger. so I'm basically taking you hostage at the manor." Damian grinned, as he took his niece's hand to make sure she doesn't get lost through the maze of hallways

"So basically kidnapping? I'm in."

——

"Master Damian, welcome home." Alfred greeted as he opened the front door. "And who might you be?"

"Hello Alfred, This is Danielle your Great-granddaughter." Damian said, making Alfred raise his eyebrows slightly before returning to his relaxed state.

"Well, nice to meet you Lady Danielle" Alfred greeted with a smile, as he shook her hand.

"Please call me Elle, Alfred" Elle brightly smiled

"Very well then Lady Elle." Alfred chuckled.

"Is father home yet?" Damian asked

"No not yet master Damian, you two may go to the living room as I prepare the guest room for Lady Elle." Alfred exclaimed as he headed to the kitchen to finish what he was doing.

Elle looked at Damian, Damian looked at Elle.

"I can feel my phone vibrating from my bag." She laughed. Her mother Danny was certainly going to be sad that his little brother kidnapped his daughter for a Uncle and niece Hangout.

[billfarrah]

One thing that’s really rubbing me the wrong way about some people’s reaction to the ending is the way people are talking about Wille. I see comments that essentially imply he is nothing without his privilege backing him, that he has no personality outside of his relationship with Simon and he’s gonna be in for a rude awakening after the ending when he realizes the attention on him isn’t gone just because he’s giving up the title of Crown Prince and life as a normal person isn’t going to be an easy or smooth road.

To me it seems like the message has completely gone over some people’s heads.

No part of me felt while watching the ending that everything is now resolved and Wille will live happily ever after without any adversity ever again… No?

The point is he finally has a choice where he ends up.

Wille literally explains this to the Queen in the final scene - that he’s never felt like he’s had a choice. He didn’t choose to be born into the royal family, and as he points out to his mother, neither did she. The public didn’t choose who inherits the crown. None of them chose it. Wille wants a choice. By staying in this role and doing what is expected of him simply because it’s his birthright is exactly what Wille is actively fighting against.

Another common thread I’ve seen thrown around is that Wille has no personality outside of Simon and I think people need to realize that one’s hobbies and interests do not define their personality. Wille very much has a personality and he had one before he met Simon - he’s always been the type to question the status quo and why things are the way they are. In season 1 episode 1, before Wille meets Simon, we see Wille scoffing at being made to mingle and pose for photos with people he doesn’t know and we see him telling Henry and Walter they’re allowed to have their own opinions when they mindlessly agree with everything he says. If anything, he starts losing this side of his personality because of the restrictions the crown puts on him. Wille falling in line with his expectations throughout the series takes him further away from this side of himself that’s always been there. We see how detrimental this is not just to his relationship with Simon, but with Wille’s relationship with himself. How exactly is Wille supposed to find what he’s passionate about when he’s consistently being told that these are the things he should care about, this is how he needs to look to the public? This is all a very intentional narrative choice to demonstrate why Wille staying in his role is detrimental to his mental health and his ability to grow personally.

The ending is not saying “everything is fixed now and Wille will have a totally adversity-free life with Simon.” Nothing is fixed and nothing is certain, but at least he made a choice. He’s going to stumble and he’s going to continue to make mistakes and a life path is not going to construct itself for him, but at least he now has a choice. He doesn’t have to pick a hobby or interest that’s considered suitable for him. He can get tattoos if he wants to. He can get married or not get married. He can have kids or not have kids. He can go to university and study whatever he wants, and yes, he will still have his family’s money. He’s not gonna be destitute and that is indeed a privilege that Wille is aware of. Should he stay in a role he doesn’t want simply and that makes him miserable because he’s privileged? For all we know, maybe his family will cut him off and he’ll literally be on his own, and that’s a risk he’s willing to take to be, in his mind, free.

The public is not suddenly going to lose interest in him, but at least he won’t have to concern himself with the royal court dictating how he and Simon act or appear. He will no longer feel like he needs to control how Simon conducts his social media presence. It’s very clear in s3 that Wille is not personally upset with Simon for posting the song or the picture with the little boy at the worker’s March - he smiles when he sees it - but that he’s worried what the royal court is going to think about it.

As far as the idea that Wille giving up the crown at the end was indeed for Simon because Wille has no identity without Simon, I really don’t think this is fair to say at all, because Wille was unhappy with his position even before he met Simon. He hated that he couldn’t even do something silly and reckless without issuing an apology. He hated that he had to uproot his entire life because he made a mistake and his family was trying to save his image in the eyes of the public. The thing is, before he met Simon, and before the events of the series, Wille didn’t feel like he had a way out, and funnily enough, that’s for the exact same reason people are dunking on him for now - because it’s the only way of life he knew. He didn’t see a way out and it’s through being with Simon that his extremely narrow view of the world gets challenged and he’s finally able to see a way out. Did Simon inspire him to do what he did? Of course he did. This entire concept is materialized through the scene where Simon tells Wille that he never had a choice who he was born as and that he sees how the monarchy makes him feel. To say that Wille gave it up for Simon implies, to me, that Wille would’ve been happy in the role if not for Simon, which I don’t believe is true. He’d still be miserable but perhaps feel less like he has the agency to do things about it. Getting to be with Simon at the end is certainly a big part of why he did it, but that also just kinda goes hand in hand with his own personal freedom, doesn’t it?

I find it kinda funny how much the internet preaches that it’s never too late to figure out who you are or what you wanna do and I see people acting like Wille is somehow doomed because he’s a 17-year-old without any interests or hobbies. Wille’s entire struggle is with having his life completely mapped out for him and it’s like with him giving up his role people are now questioning the fact that he doesn’t have an entire life mapped out for himself. I spent my time when I was 17 blogging on tumblr and doing nothing else and didn’t go to college until I was 24. I’m 29 now and I’m still learning what I’m passionate about. To treat Wille’s lack of hobbies or interests as some kind of moral failure or indicative of a lack of personality really, really bothers me and to me his lack of interests and hobbies has always been a very intentional writing choice, and the ending, if anything, gives him all the time in the world to figure that out. He might even develop an interest and then realize it’s not for him! The amount of people I know that went to college for what they thought they wanted to do then dropped out because they changed their mind, or graduated from school, couldn’t find a job, and then went back to school for something else is endless. This is all part of the human experience and it’s going to be an entirely new journey for him, but that part of his journey did not a part of this particular story, and in that way, the ending is open. It also helps that regardless of Wille’s wealth and privilege, education in Sweden is FREE.

In the end, the message of the ending is exactly what Boris said to Wille in season 2: we can’t choose who we are born as, but we can choose how we want to live, and that’s exactly what the ending is saying, and that’s what Edvin meant when he said the ending is open. Wille’s road is not suddenly going to be perfect and easy, but at least all of his choices, including his mistakes and struggles, can be entirely his own.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for my ruined relationship with my soulmate?

[Author's note: some details are purposefully ignored or exaggerated for unreliable-narrator purposes]

I (F) have been trapped in a hunger-games sort of situation for the past six weeks. The way it works is that we all got three lives, green, yellow, and red, and when we were reduced to red we were taken over by... a sort of bloodlust. We also shared our life force with another, a soulmate who felt every pain we did. If one died, so did the other.

When the game began, an acquaintance M (M) and I went looking for resources to share with our soulmates. We went somewhere sort of dangerous in search of rare materials, but we were careful and returned safely.

Afterwards, we went looking for our soulmates. We found them- mine was S (M) and M's soulmate was C (F). I had the strangest feeling that we were friends in some kind of past existence, so I thought I could trust them... but I was wrong.

S and C said we'd abandoned and endangered them. They didn't listen to reason when I tried to explain that we were being careful and we just wanted to stock up early. They said they chose each other as their soulmates, and left, and then M blamed me for everything and he left too, and I was so alone...

I tamed a wolf, Tilly. If they wanted to choose their soulmates, then fine, I chose Tilly. I built myself a lovely tall tower to keep an eye on everyone who might ever want to hurt me. Tilly had a little fall while I was working but she was okay, she came back as yellow! Good wolf, she would never leave me :)

I visited a pair of acquaintances, B (M) and R (M), to play a little prank on them, just for a minute. R accidentally angered a monster while chasing me, and he got killed, so I tried to protect the things he dropped from S and C, who wanted to steal it all. But R didn't appreciate my efforts, he said it was my fault he died and called me all sorts of names and banished me from his house!

I was really upset at S and C, so I decided to get back at S by purposefully letting myself get frostbite and making him have to heal us. I guess rumors of what I had been up to spread, because soon enough, everyone thought I was crazy. It wasn't even that bad, it was only a little tickle really!

Some of the other contestants organized a little party, and we played a game where one of us swung the others around with a fishing rod. Another pair, J (M) and E (M) accidentally got hurt too much and died, so as a joke I decided to take the fancy armor they dropped. I was going to give it back, but they killed me before I even could, and then S yelled at me again!

Everything descended into chaos after that. People started burning each others' houses down, someone brought a giant monster up to the surface. S, C, and I were forced to team up to increase our chances of survival, even though they kept criticizing me and calling me the "crazy ex" the whole time.

I bred Tilly with a wolf that S found, and soon enough I had a whole army of wolves to accompany me. But S was stupid and got caught burning down another pair's house so they killed him and then I was red.

I left S and C since they clearly didn't want me there, and tried to get the other reds to let me join them, but they kept calling me crazy and trying to kill my wolves. So I took my revenge on the reds, I killed them with my axe, whack whack whack, and my pack and I laughed and ate and cheered.

After that, it was just M, C, S, and me. M and C tried to kill me, but getting rid of them was easy enough. But... then I realized that Tilly was gone. M said she was corrupting me, but I wasn't corrupted! All of them were, for being so mean to me!

I didn't even get to finally have a proper fight with S like I always wanted to... he blew himself up and then it was just me for only a moment before I died too and...

...I don't deserve this. Winning.

Maybe I really am a monster.

I'm so lonely.

[sunkissedchld]

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆

the piles go from left to right. therefore, pile one is the letter material, pile two is the pink heart lollipops, and so on and so forth.

this is a warning that these are not cutesy messages of love! if anything, they're more so messages about how you view love and interact with it and, really, what you need to heal when it comes to your view of love. at least, from how i felt when doing the readings. these are still important messages, so please don't scroll away because they're not the dreamy view of love, ya know? you may find these messages helpful anyways!

take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. lastly, please don’t be afraid to say if the message resonated or not. it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it’s “bad”.

good luck to you, reader 💖

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Black & White" by Todrick Hall

"Winter Wonderland / Don't Worry Be Happy" by Pentatonix

"Chaining Day" by J. Cole

"Burnin' Up" by The Jonas Brothers

"Work That" by Mary J. Blidge

"Feeling Good" by Ledisi & Metropole Orkest

Cards:

Six of Wands (Rx), Six of Coins (Rx), Ace of Knives,

Five of Wands, Son of Wands, Ten of Knives, Two of Wands

Reading:

Those who chose this pile are sabotaging their own relationships, in general and romantically. You may find that you crave external validation like an addiction but never really find it - at least not in the way you want it, if at all. You may have given up on the idea that you deserve love or will ever receive it. You may close yourself off from others because of these things. As a result of you closing yourself off because of past experiences, you set yourself up for heartache and failure. How can you expect love from others when you don't allow them to see you due the actions of others? It's ironic that the lyrics, "I need you to love me" from J. Cole's "Chaining Day" plays as I write this. With the specific deck I'm pulling from, the Six of Coins comes with the revelation that being open and welcoming towards others and being open to exchanging with other people is not necessarily an equal give and take, but instead doing so "sustainably and equitably". Reveal information and give resources of yourself to others sustainably - meaning don't give your last or until it's almost your last and equitably - when you feel that it's fair to based on what they have also done. Be willing to face your fears when it comes to receiving and giving love instead of hiding because of them. Remember to be aware of when people are not who they seem! Being open does not mean being privy to ignorance. 

Love is not meant to be an easy battle ground, but sometimes the battle is easier to fight than you make it. You may overthink people's intentions and be overly on-guard towards everyone when specific people have not given you a reason to go on the defense. This is part of what you do in making the process of receiving love harder on yourself. Be willing to take risks and receive blessings from it or lessons. You can never heal if you never push yourself to receive healing by going outside of your comfort zone. The many wounds people have wounded you should not allow you to lick at your wounds for eternity. The song "Work That" by Mary J. Blidge fits this vibe very well! When you're pushed to the ground, you have to be willing to process your emotions and keep going rather than allowing yourself to shut down. Show care for yourself even though others have not done the same. 

Feelin' great because the light's on me

Celebrating the things that everyone told me

Would never happen, but God has put His hands on me

And ain't a man alive could ever take it from me

Working with what I got; I gotta keep on

Taking care of myself; I wanna live long

Ain't never ashamed what life did to me

Wasn't afraid to change 'cause it was good for me

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Tiger Inside" by SuperM

"History Has Its Eyes On You" from Hamilton the Musical

"Given-Taken" by Enhyphen

"Airplane" by Stray Kids

"On It" by Jazmine Sullivan

"Songs About You" by Chika

Cards:

Father of Coins (Rx), Son of Coins, The Empress, The High Priestess, 

Ten of Coins, The Tower, Seven of Baskets, Daughter of Coins, Strength

Reading:

Pile two, you're being kind of greedy when it comes to love. You may be thinking of going the sugar baby route? Or you're seeking out those who are financially stable or rich when looking for love. This isn't inherently bad, but the way you're doing it is so. You may be wanting a lifestyle that you see often on TV that others have and envying them which is distorting your view of the emotion/action/idea of love. "Materialism" and "scamming" are literally mentioned in the deck I'm using. It's okay to be ambitious and to therefore want to be connected with ambitious people, but you can't just dream of receiving things for the sake of receiving. You have to be willing to work for what it is you want to receive instead of feeding off of others. I'm getting that maybe you weren't in a stable financial situation when growing up, and so you seek those who are now in order to comfort yourself now (and your inner child from then). The thing is that you have to be who your inner child needed when you were a kid - not necessarily others, if that makes sense. You may be used to hearing the word "yes" a ton. You may have tapped into your sexuality at some point and utilized it to gain things you may not have had access to before. You may be tapped into your intuition and spiritual forces, but do you actually use them to your benefit? Do you use them to heal the pain that's been festering within you for years now? Do you use it to be your own hero? 

Cowrie shells keep being shown in the cards for this pile; they represent wealth, abundance, prosperity, femininity, fertility, and things of that nature. The thing is that you're going to receive plenty of financial abundance on your own. You don't need to seek out others in order to gain it, so why let it taint your view of what love should be? You need a total upheaval of your idea of love. Whatever you think it is at this moment, erase it from your mind. If possible, think of how you saw love as a child - before you were able to worry about the necessity of money. What was the essence, the purity, of love in your eyes? The change in the definition of what love is for you is necessary to avoid heartache from settling into who you are. With the Seven of Baskets, this deck asks "do you know what you really want? What is truly going to bring you peace?". I'm gonna tell you the obvious that money is not going to bring you the peace or love that you want; it hasn't worked for anyone in the history of humanity, and it won't work now. Focus on developing a new idea of love and, in turn, a new idea of you. You are more than the people who love you. Please, have the courage to confront the debilitating view you have of who you are and what you deserve. It will be a tough road to navigate, but it will be better than the road you're taking now. 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by, 

And that has made all the difference.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Love Yourz" by J. Cole

"Hot Sauce" by NCT Dream

"**Flawless" by Beyoncé

"Saturday Drip" by NCT Dream

"Crush" by MCND

Cards:

Five of Wands, Daughter of Baskets, Justice, Two of Wands (Rx), Ten of Knives, 

Five of Coins, Ten of Coins, Seven of Baskets

Reading:

Those who chose this pile may be making love seem harder than it is. "Love Yourz" by J. Cole is a good first shufflemancy song as it literally talks about sort of envying what others have that you may not. The Five of Wands, in this context, talks of creating chaos when it didn't need to exist in the first place. You may be putting yourself into "bad" relationships because you want love so badly. You may be a little bit of an idealist or someone who loves love. You may always daydream about your future spouse or your crush or about people loving you and fawning over you. The idea of being loved is very appealing to you. Also, you might want to be taken care of. You might down yourself and your accomplishments and abilities because of the idea you have of romance and the way you think you need to act to receive it. "**Flawless" by Beyoncé along with Justice lets me know that you need to pull back on the idea of overly relying on others when it comes to your idea of love. Think of it this way: you don't need a significant other in your life to have love be present and given to you. You are totally capable of motivating yourself and hyping yourself up; you are capable of showing yourself the love you crave. 

The people who chose this pile may be scared of taking life by the reins for themselves. You may not think you're dominant or courageous or extroverted enough. You may think that you've fallen into this persona of being unlovable or being someone others don't want to be around or listen to, but you can't allow those former ideas and feelings keep you from becoming the best version of who you are. Some of you might have felt drawn to pile one because of the similar message! Despite your current situation, you can change in order to have more faith in yourself rather than depending on others to reward you with this love that you crave. Some of you may have big families, and they actually give you a lot of love - or they would if you allowed them. This could be literal family, friends, guides, ancestors, or anyone else! The thing is that love is already in abundance in your life in the little things; it's in you waking up every morning; it's in you going through periods of happiness; it's in you looking forward to things in the future. You have to make the choice to give yourself the love you want. 

But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage

And we don't teach boys the same?

We raise girls to see each other as competitors,

Not for jobs or for accomplishments, 

Which I think can be a good thing, 

But for the attention of men.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

Shufflemancy:

"You're So Beautiful (White Party Version)" from the show Empire

"Secret Secret" by Stray Kids

"N****s" by Kehlani

"Maverick" by The Boyz

Cards:

Father of Baskets (Rx), Three of Wands, Ten of Wands, Four of Baskets (Rx), 

Ten of Baskets (Rx), Judgment, Four of Knives, Eight of Knives (Rx)

Reading:

Those who chose this pile may "hate" love or hate the way love has been shown to them as of now. You may have been in many manipulative relationships where you were left insecure in yourself and who you are. You may have had your trust broken. I'm reminded of how some people have such a bad relationship that they will swear to never even date again. You're not really into the idea of rushing into love and a relationship again. For some of you, you've decided to put up walls around your heart. Others of you are purely in this mindset that you need to work on yourself more than anything before getting into a relationship. You're very much so in your self-care era! You're recognizing that you need to care more for yourself and fulfill your own ideas and wishes before doing so for others. 

I think the biggest thing to get across to this group, while you're realigning with yourself, your values, and your truth is remembering to stay true to yourself and (also) don't be afraid to ask for help. Be willing to look at exactly what it is you value in yourself, in others, in a potential partner, and do this same examination with other things in your life. Think about what it is you expect from each group of people in your life, including you. Be willing to talk with others about what makes you uncomfortable or what you'd like them to start doing in order for them to start being the people you want in your life. If they don't align with what you're wanting, then don't be afraid to drop them. Please exercise using judgment when discerning who is and isn't treating you well. Those who chose this pile should have a major focus on re-centering yourself and your spirit. Allow yourself to receive better by asking and demanding better from others. 

I'm not yours, never was, and

I really just can't be mad

I'm the one, I know, I'm the one, 

And I'm completely fine with everything that I am

Too damn strong 

To let you get the best of me

Took way too long

To find the light inside of me

[thesummerstorms]

I can acknowledge that the text SAYS that Annabeth Chase worked out her problems with her dad, that her stepmom seemed "nice", and that her "resentment" is described as seemingly unimportant in Blood of Olympus. I can acknowledge the text SAYS that Annabeth's family problems are resolved.

However. That does not mean that I actually buy it. If RR wanted me to accept that outcome, he should have done the actual work of proving it.

Yes we have the scene with the plane and Mrs. Chase telling Percy that Annabeth has a home.

But those two scenes in TTC don't actually work as a source of a resolution to that plot thread because they don't address the root of the problem- Annabeth being hurt by Frederick's neglect and her step-mother 's blame/callousness.

Even if they ARE trying to do better now (which to honest, feels like a cop out to me, almost as if RR just decided he no longer wanted to write that thread and cut it off quickly) the problem lies in what already happened in the past and how badly Annabeth was hurt by it.

She could have died so, so easily, and even if you want to argue perfect intent for the Chase adults (which I don't) she was emotionally fucked up by what happened for years. This has already happened.

But there's not even a hint of an apology or actual reflection on what caused those events and how things need to be moving forward. It's just assumed that TTC automatically fixes everything.

And yes, I actively have a post going around about how an author has to pick and choose their narratives and what they want to focus on for what characters.

But I would argue that RR already chose to make that plot line an important part of the plot- given how it drives Annabeth's motivations and actionals on an emotional level for pretty much all of TTC- it's just that he handled it badly.

If it was going to be addressed, especially if it was going to be "fixed", then we needed more to convince us that Annabeth had reason to trust her parents again. And again, for me one plane scene that doesn't go into what Annabeth has already experienced doesn't work for me personally.

Especially when you look at things like how Annabeth was still living in boarding schools full time, her description of the night she ran away in HOH, her persistent fear of abandonment.

And before anyone brings it up, I do actually have some sympathy for Frederick Chase. I personally am deeply adverse to the idea of having children of my own, so putting myself in his shoes of having been given a whole infant I never wanted and didn't know was a possibility, freaks me out a little too!

BUT. That doesn't change the fact that he had a responsibility as an adult-

to either choose to raise Annabeth fully as his child and accept the responsibility that entailed

OR

to find someone who could take care of her the way she deserved if he was not emotionally or mentally able to fulfill those needs.

I'm not saying any of it would be easy, but he did in fact have a basic obligation to make sure Annabeth was receiving care from SOMEONE. That's basic decency as an adult with some form of power over a child even if he DIDN'T want to be her father.

But his refusal to actually commit to either path just did MORE damage in the long run.

And he's free to try and make amends, I guess. People can change.

But I just don't feel there's enough to show that he really has long term, much less to give ANNABETH reason to believe he has.

[heartsteellerr]

How they comfort you during a scandal

Request; Hi! I see that you’re requests are open! Can I get a reaction of Heartsteel member’s s/o feeling insecure about dating a celebrity, seeing false dating rumors about the members they are dating and just generally worried about idol scandal stuff because of them? how would the member comfort them about it? A/N ✎: Hi nonnie!! Sorry this request was taking FOREVER for me to do but 🙏 I got some of it done! I decided to split the request into parts for (partly) MY SAKE cos lately i've been busy and I didn't exactly want to prolong it, and also because I didn't want the post to be that long?? So hopefully you're fine with that! Enjoy! Content; Hurt/Comfort, leaning more towards hurt Warnings; GN reader, reader isn't an idol Characters; Ezreal and Kayn

It's honestly on him for not being discreet about your relationship, or 'the' relationship that no one knew about (aside from the other Heartsteel members) until a photo leaked of him with someone. He didn't seem to mind it though, brushing it off as something that'll soon blow over eventually with the media news. But you on the other hand, did in fact mind it ⎯ more than him actually. As you weren't a famous, sensational popstar like he was or had any social status within the media, you were just... Someone standing beside him, and that sort of mindset grew onto you the more you looked into the false dating rumors circulating around him. Seeing the pictures of numerous celebrities that people speculated were in the photo with him and then comparing yourself to them, or the way some fans were picking apart the 'mysterious partner' as someone not worthy of being with their bias, or⎯ but then your phone gets snatched right out of your hand. Taken and tossed aside as he held you in his arms.

Ezreal

He'd be pissed at himself for being so careless and even more pissed at seeing you degrade yourself when he loves you so. No words can properly explain how he feels in that moment, or how he wants to convey that he was a big giant idiot for not taking your feelings into account ⎯ but with the way he held onto you, unmoving and refusing to let go so you wouldn't be able to see his face, it's clear how much he regrets putting you in this position.

In a way, it's almost laughable to him how you'd think of yourself as unworthy of him when that's how he feels when he's with you. Idol or not, you can easily express yourself without a care of the media attacking or slandering you for your comments, or the way you dress comfortably for yourself and no one else, even the littlest details about you were so... loveable to him, that he does find himself to be a bit envious of you sometimes.

How he chooses to handle the scandal will depend on what you also want him to do; ideally he'd want to make it public that he's taken but won't (ever) be revealing his partner's identity for personal reasons (obviously) and would make a serious comment that the public and his fans shouldn't dictate who he dates ⎯ it's for him to decide, and the person he chose is you.

Kayn

He's an idiot. He'll say it out loud and not-so proud for the whole world and even the media to hear because truly, thats who he is. He really didn't see that this whole thing would blow up in his face, especially when he was so in the moment of loving you to even notice the backlash he'll be getting ⎯ which, incidentally, was totally and completely on his part. But could you really fault him for it? Somewhat. BUT in his defence it genuinely felt that way, like being with you for hours when it only felt like minutes for him.

He'd say something like how you made him feel like a normal human being instead of a freak, or an idol put on a pedestal by his fan ⎯ and even though it was good at first, it limits so much things he wants to do. An easy example: Loving you.

Again (like Ezreal) when he makes his statement to the public it also includes what you want him to do with your relationship; he can come out public with it or keep it under wraps, saying everything was false, all while making sure his anger was very present ⎯ because for one, how dare they butt into his business and two, for making you think so lowly of yourself.

[nabipumpum]

CAN I BE THE FIRST?-05 ᴹⁱⁿʲⁱ ˣ ᶠ!ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

Pairing - Kim Minji X f!Reader

Genre - Fluff, angst, written + smau

Warning - mom and daddy issues, self-acceptance problems, homophobic parents, Y/n doesn't know how to deal with feelings

Synopsis - Y/n always tried to manage on her own, especially with the family she had, but after becoming a trainee she realized that not everyone hated her. After the debut she still tries to deal with her feelings, but everything becomes even more confusing after having to approach NewJeans for better coexistence in the company.

A/N: I changed the way of narration from this chapter onwards

Previous | Masterlist | Next

—

2 months ago…

After seeing the message you couldn't help but smile a little, but it was short lived, of course, you and Minji became colleagues and would hang out as colleagues.

Just putting on a sweatshirt over her Hello Kitty shirt and clean sneakers seemed fine for this situation, when you left the room you saw Soorin and Hari sitting on the couch while sharing a bucket of popcorn while Barbie butterfly was playing on the TV.

“Are you going out with Minji?” nodded in agreement. “Be careful, can you buy some snacks?” another nod.

“Don’t forget your mask and glasses.”

"I am not going."

“First complete sentence of the day, congratulations.” you just rolled your eyes at Hari as you picked up the mask, glasses and your headphones from the table and headed for the door.

When you arrived at the entrance of the building you saw Minji standing looking at the street, with slow steps you approached and lightly poked his shoulder to get her attention.

“Hey.” you muttered.

“Hey…” Minji looked at her outfit for a bit. “Your hoodie is cute.” She pointed with her index finger while fixing her mask and cap with her other hand.

“Ah… Thank you, why are you dressed like Batman?” Minji looked at herself before laughing.

"Serious?"

"Yes."

“I guess I should protect you then, what do you think?” your body heated up when you heard that as you laughed lightly to try to hide it.

“Okay, should we go now?” the girl agreed and indicated for you to follow her.

“Do you have a specific place in mind?”

“I think we can go to the one at the end of the street, it has several varieties and is empty at that time.” Minji nodded as she watched intently as you spoke. She looked too much.

“Do you go there a lot? I didn’t know there was this one at the end of the street.”

"No. I don’t like going out.”

"Why not?"

“Lots of people.”

“You don’t like that?”

"I am scared."

“Oh… That makes sense.”

“Aren’t you afraid?” an exchange of glances was made, but this time you didn't look away, probably because the mask and glasses would hide if you blushed or embarrassed.

“I think so, we don’t know what people can do.” you both stopped in front of the store, you waved for Minji to go first. “Mary-unnie told me to let you go ahead because it’s easy to get lost.”

"She said?" you made a mental note to complain to her later. The girl laughed a little at your indignation. “It’s not true, why did you believe her?”

“She’s known you the longest, I just thought I should trust.” You sighed and went in first, you really got lost often.

After guiding Minji to the freezer, you look at her waiting for your choice, the girl watches for a few seconds until her eyes stop on one that indicates it has chocolate coverage and chooses it. As soon as she chose it, you got the same one you always asked for when your members went out to buy things, “unicorn” flavor, you don't even know what it is exactly, but it's good, that's what matters.

"Unicorn?" you smile.

“It’s good, that’s what matters.” she agreed.

“Have you eaten anything yet?” you shook your head slightly as you raised your gaze to her. “Let’s get it before we eat the ice cream.” you waved lightly as you went to grab some packets of snacks for yourself, Hari and Soorin. “Isn’t it better to get something that keeps you from feeling hungry for longer?”

“I… I already ate an hour ago, thanks for worrying, Unnie.”

Minji felt her body heat up at being called “Unnie”, her members always called her that, but it sounds different coming from you.

“It’s nothing, are you going to eat all of these?”

“They’re for Soorin and Hari-Unnie, they use me as a servant.” the taller one couldn't help but smile at your matter-of-fact comment. “I think that’s all, what caught you?”

“Just a nigiri and water.”

You waved as you turned around to go pay.

Now you and Minji were sitting after eating while talking about the last few days, movies, music, anything that came to your mind, being with her ended up awakening an extroverted side in you.

“Haerin took a CD from her when we went to this store, but she gave it back.” Minji felt her body freeze a little.

“Has she never seen it?”

“I don’t think so, you couldn’t see her face on the cover, after all, her songs are good.” the girl smiled as she nodded “I noticed you felt weird when I called you Unnie, do you feel uncomfortable?” she blinked and stared for a few seconds before finally speaking.

“No, it’s just that I was surprised that you called me that all of a sudden, it’s not a big deal I know, but I just didn’t expect it.” You nodded and laughed a little.

“That's cute.” I'm going to fiddle with the candy wrapper in your hand.

The moment of silence lasted for a while, you couldn't tell if it was uncomfortable or slightly comforting, Minji being around was comforting, maybe it was because of the ease in which she made you comfortable and understood that you didn't always want to talk, maybe because of the way her round eyes are always attentive while you ramble about something you like. Minji is good company.

“You are a good friend.” you said without thinking “I mean, I think we’re friends, right?” she laughed and agreed.

“If you think we can be considered friends, then we are.” you agreed as you adjusted your glasses on your face.

"Thanks."

"Why?"

“For coming with me here, thank you.”

“That was nothing, you’re good company.”

You've never heard anything like this before. Your mother used to talk about how annoying you were and that she wished you hadn't been born, so you got used to it.

“I don’t think so, but thank you.” Minji frowned.

“Why don’t you think so?” You looked at her, not knowing if you should tell her or not, was she trustworthy?

“Nothing, I just think”

“Then I’ll make sure you stop thinking that.” You laughed a little at the way she said it in a determined way. Minji thought it was beautiful how his eyes closed a little.

“Okay, I’ll wait for it.” another exchange of glances.

Minji felt butterflies in her stomach as she looked into your eyes, you were charming her without doing anything, you charmed her without doing anything, but you just think she's a good friend. And you don’t like girls.

“I think we gotta go.” you warned her when you remembered that the two had members waiting for them at home “But first, can you give me your number?” she felt her body warm.

"Yes of course." you opened your phone and wrote it down as she spoke.

The two of you left the store together, the streets were less crowded than before, but still full, which made you stay closer to Minji for fear of getting lost as you listened carefully to the girl talk about wanting to go to the beach.

“Unnie, can we go into this bookstore?” you asked as soon as you passed in front of a small bookstore surrounded by flowers.

“Oh, sure” you smiled and pulled her in excitedly, she laughed at how excited you seemed about it “Do you like reading?” she asked as soon as you stopped at a romance novel shelf.

“Yes, I used to reread the books I had just to have something.”

“Did it take long to buy new ones?”

“Actually, I only got it from colleagues, my mother didn’t like buying for me.” you ended up letting go and regretted it later, which made you shrink your body slightly, the girl next to you noticed this.

“I understand, but now you can buy it, right?” you nodded, mentally thanking yourself for not having to answer any more questions. “What do you like to read?” you looked at her, eyes shining, she thought

“I’ve been enjoying reading thrillers, they’re really cool, it seems like a bit of a mystery.”

“Mystery is good.”

“Mystery is perfect.”

The two of you were sitting at the end of the bookstore facing each other as you opened the book you just snuck in while adjusting your glasses, you skimmed the first page and fixed the earphones in your ears so you could listen in case someone approached you. approached.

“Do you think she would fight me?” you smile as you read the first page.

“Not if she doesn’t notice.” You smile and continue reading the page.

“I’ll take that one.” you smiled as you stood up and Minji followed.

“Do you want me to talk to her for you?” She nodded at the cashier, who looked scary to you. She looked like her mother.

"Yes." you agreed so quickly that she had barely finished speaking, you handed her the book and followed her to the register. You watched as she grabbed a bookmark that was on the shelf next to the payment counter.

“Just these two?” you took your card and handed it to Minji, who kindly declined “The total is 11 thousand Won” the girl handed over the money as she received the bag.

“Unnie, you don’t have to.”

“Don’t worry, I want it.” you felt your body heat up again.

When you left you stopped her.

“I will pay you.”

“No, really Y/n, you don’t need it, consider it a gift.”

“Why would you give me a gift like that?” you bowed your head slightly to the side, which Minji found adorable. “It’s not an important date.”

“Gifts don’t just have to be given on important dates.”

"No?" she smiled and shook her head as she watched his confused look. “Thank you, really thank you.” you bowed slightly and she could see your eyes curl from your smile.

“You’re welcome, just tell me if it’s really good, shall we?” you agreed as you tried to grab the bag “I’ll hold it for you until we get there.” The two started walking again.

“You’re really cool Unnie, I think I like you more than Haerin.” She laughed and you followed her. “Don’t tell her I said that.”

“I promise.”

Minji made sure you entered the apartment before heading back to the elevator. When you arrived, as always, everyone was in the living room, but this time playing a board game.

“You’re back!” Miya stood up and ran to hug you “How was your date?”

“It wasn’t a date, but it was nice, Minji-unnie gave it to me as a gift.” you indicated the bag with the book “I also brought what you asked for.” you turned to Soorin and Hari who got up and walked over to you to get the bag.

“You didn’t get lost, did you?” Mary asked, still sitting on the couch.

“No, why did you say that to her? It was shameful…” the eldest laughed in response.

“I just care about you, don’t be mad about it.”

“I’m not…” you made your way to your room while taking off your mask and headset, throwing them somewhere on the bed.

Taglist 🏷️ (open): @gtfoiydlyj @cloudinwjns @yncoreee @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @ourlovesarang @saysirhc @yuyuy90

[joshsindigostreak]

I See Hell in Your Eyes

Chapter Ten

“Flash your teeth though the inside hurts.”

Vampire!Josh x Vampire!Reader

Authors Note: Happy Valentine’s Day my loves!! The nature of this chapter absolutely called for being posted today, and I had a blast writing it. Enjoy!!

Word Count: 8,589

Warnings: SMUT, 18+, Minors DNI, blood play, cum play, hand jobs, biting, swearing, descriptions of blood, I do believe that’s it!

The next night, you were awoken by a freshly-turned Vampire kissing all over your face. 

“Sweetheart…it's after eight…,” he whispered against your cheek. Your nose crinkled and you blinked your eyes open, only to find your favorite dark brown irises inches above yours. 

“Yeah? So?”

“As nice as this place is…I miss my bed, and I miss having you in it even more,” he grinned at you. 

You sat up and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, “you got me there..I should probably go let Dimitri know we need to get-”

“Already taken care of, sweetheart,” he said as he pecked the side of your mouth. 

You looked at him in confusion, “what do you mean?”

“While you were still asleep Dimitri came around and asked if we needed anything, to which I politely explained we needed to be on our way and after a little back and forth everything was settled and he’s got a car waiting for us downstairs to take us back to your apartment.” 

You arched an eyebrow at your Vampire, “what do you mean ‘a little back and forth’?”

Josh’s eyes twinkled at you while the previous conversation ran through his head.

The new Vampire had woken up before you did, and turned towards the door when he heard it open after a soft knock. Dimitri dipped his head in and gave Josh a nod as he walked in. 

“Good evening, dear Joshua,” he greeted warmly. 

“Hi Dimitri,” he replied stiffly. 

“I hope you are comfortable here, despite the circumstances.” 

Carefully, Josh replied, “you’ve been very generous…all things considered, but I think we need to go home soon, if that's possible.” 

Dimitri nodded, “of course. I didn’t plan on keeping you here longer than necessary, but I didn’t want to just toss you out as soon as you were turned. I can have both of you driven back, it's the least I can do.”

Josh looked at him gratefully, “that would be great, thanks.”

The older Vampire glanced at you, still fast asleep, “it's funny, twenty-four hours ago I came to check on you and she was the one watching you sleep. She needs her rest, though.” 

Josh nodded in agreement and looked down at your sleeping form, “she absolutely does.” 

“I wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for your decision, and saving not only yourself, but her as well.” 

“It was a no-brainer.”

Dimitri eyed him curiously, “You know that wasn’t the first time I’ve offered a hunter the opportunity to be turned?”

“Really?”

“Oh yes. Your…people aren’t as stealthy as you think. Many of them get too cocky and end up being caught. So naturally I give them a choice. Death…or new life as one of us. As someone who grew up in that environment, I’m sure you know that many willingly chose death rather than to ever know the true decadence of blood. I’m sure on your end it's spun to make it seem like choosing death was the “better” choice. That it’s more “noble” to die a human than to live as a Vampire.” Josh looked down at his lap, knowing what Dimitri said was true. “But I’ll tell you right now, dear Joshua, that you? You were the first to ever say yes. The immediate agreement, to lay down your human life just to save…her. To give up the sun? For her. A fool would have watched our conversation and said that you weren’t thinking, that it was impulsive. But I saw your eyes. I saw how you clutched her hand, rubbed her knuckles, and I saw how you didn’t even hesitate. You committed the ultimate sin as a hunter to save the Vampire you love…So don’t downplay what you did. Being turned isn’t an easy process by any means, and agreeing to it is not a small decision. I know it wasn’t easy for her, either.” 

Josh looked over at you again, and gently took your hand that was resting over the covers, “I know…” 

“Now, I’m not one to spread other Vampire’s business, as it's not my story to tell, but I’ve known her long enough to know what she’s been through,” the older Vampire eyed Josh pointedly, hoping he’d get the hint. 

“She’s alluded to some things,” he replied distantly. 

“One doesn’t live for over three centuries without being put through the wringer. When I met her in 1923, she was very lost, and clearly hurting. She’s come a long way since then, Joshua.” 

Josh nodded slowly.

“Don’t ruin that.”

“I don’t…I don’t think I even have it in me to hurt her,” Josh said softly. 

Dimitri breathed through his nose and nodded, “good. I’d hate to have to give you a guided tour of the tunnels underneath this house.” The two Vampires maintained eye contact for nearly a minute, coming to an understanding. The older of the two relaxed his shoulders and smiled at Josh. “Now, the other part of our deal will begin in two nights.” 

Josh raised his eyebrows, “the other half?”

“Yes, the two of you making appearances at my other Blood Den establishments?” 

Realization crept over his face, “oh…that.” 

“Don’t sound too excited, Joshua. You will have VIP status at every Den you visit, along with transportation and sleeping arrangements. I’ll spare no expense.” 

Josh furrowed his brow curiously, “what do we…what do we have to do?” 

Dimitri threw his hands up, “honestly, not much. Your presence alone will garner enough attention. At the most you’ll just answer the same questions over and over again from patrons wanting to know your story from your perspective.” 

“My story?” 

He gave Josh a flat look, “yes, your story. How you loved your Vampire so much that you renounced your entire hunter bloodline to save her and be with her forever. You’ll quickly find out that Vampires love a classic love story, and trust me word travels fast with us.” 

Josh was skeptical, but he had no choice in the matter, “ok…” 

Dimitri’s tone was significantly lighter than before, “excellent. I’ll have a car pick you both up at her apartment. You’ll use my private jet.” 

Of course he had a private jet, Josh thought. His thoughts wandered as Dimitri prattled off the itinerary. He’d only have two nights before his next “chapter” would begin. Which meant he only had two nights with Jake before he took off…again. Fuck. He knew without seeing him that Jake had been a wreck this whole week, he didn’t even need his ‘twintuition’ to know that. He knew how Jake was, and how much Jake despised sudden change. Especially this kind of change. 

“...and the last week of October you’ll land in New Orleans. That Den isn’t necessarily new by any means, but it's currently under renovation and will be ‘reopening’ that week, just in time for Halloween!”

Josh blinked as he refocused, “is Halloween a big deal for Vampires?” 

Dimitri wobbled his head, “not necessarily but we love a good theme. Plus it makes it a lot easier to walk around the city covered in blood.” 

“Makes sense.” 

“Anyway, I’d best get going while the two of you continue to rest. I’ll text you further details soon.”

Josh was once again confused, “how do you have-”

“Oh my dear Joshua, I know so much more than you think,” he flashed him a smile before swiftly exiting the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. You rolled over with an incoherent mumble, and the newly-turned Vampire stared at your sleeping form, deep in thought. 

“The point is, we have about two nights before we’re off on our next adventure,” he kept his tone light, not wanting to worry you. He gave you a brief rundown of the plans Dimitri had, but he left out the part of the conversation where he discussed your past. 

“...so we only have two nights to pack and essentially be ‘on the road’ for the next two months?” 

“At least, yeah.”

“Are you ok with that?”

“I mean…we don’t really have a choice do we? It was part of the deal.” 

You looked off for a second, deep in thought, “sure…are you ready for your new life to begin, Boy Scout?”

He smiled, flashing the tooth gap, “as long as you’re with me.” 

You feigned an eye roll, “if I must!” Smiling yourself, you lifted up to rest on your elbows and gave him a secure kiss, relishing in how he melted into  you. 

~!~

The ride back to your apartment was a lot smoother to say the least, which led Josh to believe that Dimitri’s men drove like maniacs on purpose that first time. Knowing that you were in a time crunch, the two of you took a completely G-rated shower, and redressed as quickly as you could. 

You could tell that Josh was anxious to get back to his apartment, the gravity of the last few days catching up to him. He took a few turns a little too fast, and ran a couple red lights, but you just reached over and took his hand, comforting him while he drove. 

He wanted to call Jake, or at least text him, but he was at a complete loss for words. How would he even start the conversation, ‘hey bro i’m still alive…sort of…be there in ten?’ Any type of conversation starter fell flat and clunky in his head. It sounded shitty, but showing up in person was his best bet. 

The block of his apartment came into view, and thankfully a space on the curb was free. In probably the worst parallel parking job he’d ever done, Josh’s Jeep pulled to a stop. He nearly jumped out of the car, not even noticing he had used his new-found speed to circle it to open  your door. You gave him a sympathetic look, and squeezed his hand as you stepped on the sidewalk. He appreciated the gesture, knowing what you were trying to silently say: that it would be alright. But as sweet as you were, he still felt like he had a rock sitting at the pit of his stomach, sinking lower and lower as he ascended to the third floor where the attic stairs started. He looked down at his phone and noted that it was after eleven o’clock, nearing midnight. But he knew Jake would be up. In fact part of him wondered if his twin had slept at all these past few days. 

With a final breath, he gripped your hand and slowly made his way up those narrow stairs. Every familiar creak and groan of the wood normally would comfort him, but as of now it just made his anxiety worse. Finally you two made it to that top, barely-there landing, with only two inches of wood separating him from his other half. 

Because of his sharp hearing, he was able to decipher several voices from the other side. Familiar voices. He gave you a curious look before trying the door, finding it unlocked. With a shaky hand he pushed the door open all the way, fully unprepared for the sight on the other side. 

You were also frozen in place, as you did not know two of the faces that greeted you in your Vampire’s apartment. Sitting on that beat-up sofa, was a rather muscular man with a dark mane of curly hair. His dark eyes were fixed at the doorway, his mouth slightly agape. 

Standing in the middle of the room, was a rather Jesus-looking individual, with long skinny legs and equally long arms. His dark brown sanpaku eyes were darting between the two of you, as if he was unsure of what he was seeing. 

“Josh…?” the one that looked like Jesus said softly. He blinked a few times before rushing over and nearly tackling him in a bone crushing hug. You took a few steps down to give them space on the landing. Josh squeezed him back just as much, burying his face into the taller man's neck. 

“Hey Sammy…,” he muffled. 

So this was Sam, his little brother. Well, little in age only. He had nearly half a foot on Josh. The realization made your eyes water, as the memory of Josh leaving that voicemail echoed in your mind. 

Sam pulled back, just enough to rest his hands on Josh’s shoulders. 

“You’re ok…,” his voice was still soft. 

“Yeah…yeah I am,” Josh said, nearly whispering.

Sam turned to go back inside, his hand still on his brother’s shoulder, but an invisible force kept Josh from following him across the threshold. Because the owner of the building was human, and Josh was only renting, he’d have to be invited into his own apartment. It was a weird technicality that you yourself still didn’t fully understand, but you couldn’t change it. 

Josh looked up at Sam, hoping he’d remember this bit of Vampire lore. His cheeks flushed slightly out of embarrassment, another bit of reality sinking in.

 

Quick on his feet, Sam put two and two together fast enough that he very smoothly went, “hey come on in, Danny’s here!” 

Josh’s shoulders relaxed instantly and he followed his little brother through the doorway. He was grateful that Sam was on top of his creature lore, or as his fancy degree was called: cryptozoology. He graduated second in his class, bested only by some girl he always complained about in his phone calls home, but her name escaped Josh at the moment. 

Since you were already invited into this apartment, you had no trouble following the two men inside and shutting the door behind you. 

The other man, who you assumed was Danny, had stood up from the sofa and slowly walked over. He was even taller than Sam, but not by much. His curly hair fell just past his shoulders, and his hazel eyes and striking nose had you nearly transfixed. Josh had never mentioned Danny to you personally, so you wondered what relation he was to the rest of them. But something…something else was different about him in particular. For one, he smelled different than the rest, and two, there was this energy behind his eyes that was very peculiar. He wasn’t human, that was clear. But what was he? You studied him, and he seemed to catch on to your stare, and he met your gaze briefly, the color of his dark iris flashing an amber color so fast you almost missed it. Did his eyes just flicker? Or was it the light? No. He wasn’t-, you thought, it had been a good few years since you had run into one of them. 

Werewolves, that is.

“Good to have you back, man,” Danny said as he gave Josh a warm hug. 

As heartwarming as this scene was, it was interrupted by the sound of slow, stomping boots. Jake. 

Josh looked behind Danny, and saw his twin approaching with his arms crossed, an unreadable expression on his face. They stared into each other's eyes.  As tired of a cliche it was, it really was like looking into a mirror. But Jake's eyes were tired, the circles underneath them were even more prominent than normal, and the question on whether he had gotten any sleep lately was answered. 

This time it was Josh who nearly tripped on his feet to get to him, wrapping his arms around Jake’s shoulders and burying his face into his neck. Jake stiffened at first, and after a few excruciating seconds, slowly uncrossed his arms and wrapped them around Josh’s back. They almost looked like puzzle pieces this way, perfectly fitting together with their same height and builds. 

Even from the other side of the apartment, you could hear the shaky breaths the two were taking, as if both of them were trying to keep it together. But neither could fight it anymore, and the shaky breaths tumbled into full on muffled sobs. 

You had to turn away, it was too much for you. Quickly you found a spot on the floor, a scratch in the hardwood to focus on. But as emotional as it was, you were glad that Josh was able to see his brothers before whatever Dimitri had in store for you started. 

However, the spot on the floor couldn’t stop your ears from hearing Josh whisper to Jake, “told you I’d be ok…” After a few minutes, the twins pulled apart and quickly rubbed their eyes dry. 

Josh seemed to snap right back into “lighten the mood” mode and immediately formally introduced you to both Sam and Danny. 

Sam, it seemed, had inherited a charm very similar to his oldest brother, and gave you a warm smile as he shook your hand, “so you’re the Vampire from the file…,” he threw a look at Josh, “that he stole.” 

Seizing the opportunity, “oh, the file that was almost entirely incorrect?” 

Sam’s smile fell slightly but he recovered, “if that’s the case I’d love to correct it.” 

Josh watched the exchange, and noticed that Sam was still holding your hand. He arched an eyebrow as he looked from you to Sam. 

“Anyway, this is Danny, Sam’s childhood best friend,” he said loudly to get you to look over at him. 

“More of a brother, really,” Sam corrected, his eyes twinkling playfully at you. 

“It's lovely to meet you,” Danny said, his low voice causing you to turn your attention to him and shake his hand. His pulse was different from a human’s; faster, and his hand felt significantly warmer. 

“Likewise…” 

Exasperated, Josh guided you over to the sofa. CiCi had made her way over and sat to your left. You barely knew her, but her presence was a comfort to you already. You couldn’t decide who was more calm, her or Danny. Sam wedged himself between you and Josh after pulling a black notebook out of his bag.

“Not that fucking notebook…,” Josh said with an eyeroll. You looked at Josh confused and he answered, “he writes everything in those things. You’ve been through, what, forty of them by now?”

“Fifty-six, actually,” Sam retorted while flipping to a blank page. 

“For…what?” You asked. 

“Important scientific research of course!”

Josh leaned forward and gave you a look, “he wants to be the Jane Goodall of supernatural creatures.”

 

Sam’s lips parted in offense, “Jane Goodall is a hero.” 

You turned to CiCi and whispered, “is it always like this?” 

She nodded, “just be glad they haven’t tackled each other yet.” 

“Yet,” Danny said with a shake of his head and a small laugh. 

Sam, undeterred by his older brother, leaned over to you with curious eyes, “so…do you have a favorite blood type?”

“You don’t have to answer that,” Josh leaned forward to cut in.

You chuckled and smiled at Sam, “A Negative is always a good one.” Instantly Sam scribbled down your answer, nodding his head. 

The mood in the apartment remained light, despite the circumstances, but you felt eyes on you every so often. Eyes that were identical to your boyfriends. Jake hadn’t fully joined in on merriment, preferring to sit at the little table across the room with a beer. Danny sat across from him but Werewolf was fully engaged in the conversation. Jake remained quiet. 

Sam distracted you from it all by bringing over the file he had made about you and nearly grilled you on things that he “somehow got wrong.” He gave Josh a look when he saw the handwritten, favorite color: purple, note on the first page. But seeing it again made you look at Josh with warm eyes, remembering when he had you up against that tree. 

“...Natasha is going to be so jealous when I get back,” Sam mused quietly as he crossed out sections in the file and made corrections. 

“Since when are you talking to her again?” Josh asked. 

Sam squirmed slightly and chewed his lip, “we’ve been…we’ve been working together…”

You looked at them confused, “whose Natasha?”

 

“This girl Sam went to college with that he’s had a thing for forever,” Josh laughed. 

“What do you mean, ‘working together’?” Jake finally spoke.

Sam’s face was getting redder by the second, “she needed help for a research project and I…volunteered to help and she’s been helping me organize a lot of my archives ever since.” 

“That’s one way of putting it…,” Danny said. 

Sam gave him a hard look, “that's all we’re doing. It’s completely professional.” 

Josh looked at Danny, knowing the Werewolf would know the truth, “really?”

“Oh I stay far away from whatever it is they get up to in the basement,” he threw his hands up in defense. 

Josh gave Sam a disgusted look, “really…in the basement?”

“Oh my god that’s not what happens!” The room quickly dissolved into laughter at Sam’s embarrassment, with the exception of Jake, who fell back into silence. 

In the lull, Josh looked over at you, a little nervous about telling his brothers that he was going to be leaving the following night. Sam leaned forward, writing in his notebook, which let you reach behind him to gently twirl some Josh’s curls in your fingers. He still couldn’t get over how much your touch soothed him. 

With a deep breath, Josh looked around the room at everyone, “I umm…well we…have something to tell you.” Four sets of eyes turned to you specifically, wondering what Josh was talking about. 

“What is it,” CiCi asked. 

“We’re umm…we’re leaving tomorrow night,” he said quickly.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Jake’s voice was sharp and bitter. 

“Part of the…deal…was that if Josh was turned, the two of us would make a few appearances at some Blood Dens that Dimitri owned,” you answered. 

“Why?” 

“It's kind of a marketing thing, and it’s only for a few months-”

Jake cut you off, “are you fucking kidding me? Not only do you get to turn him into one of you but now you have to parade him around like some traveling freak show?” 

“That’s not what this is,” Josh cut in, giving Jake a warning look. 

“Oh, please enlighten me how it’s not, Josh,” he replied with an eyeroll. 

Josh scoffed, “look, it's only until the end of October, and then I’ll be free to do whatever I want.”

Jake straightened his shoulders, “not everything,” the implication was heavy in the air. He looked down at his watch, and then looked up at CiCi, “I think it's time we get to the hotel.” 

“Jake…,” Sam tried but he was ignored. 

Josh stood up at this, “what do you mean the hotel?” You looked around and noticed that the air mattress was no longer on the floor, and that their bags weren’t there either. 

“When Sam and Danny got here yesterday I got a room at the same hotel they were staying at. My back couldn’t take the air mattress anymore.” 

Josh deflated a little, “you don’t…you don’t have to do that there’s plenty of room here.” 

Jake stood and waved his hand, “it’s fine. It’s almost 1 AM anyway.” 

Before anyone could protest he was out the door. You needed to talk to Jake, you needed to explain. You stood up and went after him, distantly hearing CiCi apologize to Josh on Jake’s behalf. 

You followed him all the way out to the street, before he turned around and gave you a hard stare. 

“Can I help you?” 

“Jake please just let me-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” he shoved his hands in his pockets and turned his head to look down the street. He turned back to face you, “you know we’re five minutes apart, right?” 

The chilly night air nipped at your ankles as you silently listened. 

“There was a running joke that Josh pushed me out of the way to come out first and he’s held it over my head our whole lives,” he looked down at his feet and twisted the toe of his boot into the sidewalk, “five minutes. Five minutes older. Five minutes wiser. And now?” He looked up and locked eyes with you, “Now I’m 48 hours older than him and it doesn’t feel right at all.” He mumbled the next bit, as if you weren’t supposed to hear it, “I’m not meant to be older.” 

Jake turned away from you for a moment, nearly turning around so you couldn’t see his face, but the small sniff and the way he quickly rubbed at his face was a dead giveaway. You felt like absolute shit. The guilt was still eating away at you, even if Josh tried to reassure you that he was fine. It was more than Josh, and you couldn’t help but blame yourself.

Eventually, after a few tense minutes, he turned back to you. Dark, red-rimmed eyes looked at you in pure disgust, “all I’m saying is…you better be fucking worth it.” 

Before you could open your mouth you heard the rest of the group make their way downstairs and through the front door of the building. They filtered out onto the sidewalk one by one, trying to not let the moment be as awkward as it already was. You looked at Josh who was trying his best to look unbothered, but you could see through it. 

CiCi gave you a small hug and whispered, “he just needs time…,” referring to Jake.

You nodded and hugged her back, before looking over at Sam who had files tucked under his arm. 

“Are you going too?”

Sam nodded, giving you a sympathetic look. He turned and gave Josh a hug, mumbling something about finally getting his files back, and to text him later. Danny stood there rather awkwardly, but he looked at you, and flashed his eyes again quickly. It was a small formality that Werewolves did, they were very big on nonverbal communication. But you understood it, and nodded as he turned to get into his car. 

Jake pulled Josh into a final hug, not as intense as the one earlier, but almost. He pulled away and like Sam, told Josh to call him later. The four of them got into their respective vehicles and drove off to whatever hotel they were staying at, leaving you and Josh alone on the street. His eyes were fixed on Jake’s car in particular, watching it drive off until it took a left and disappeared out of sight. 

You turned to your Vampire, taking his hand into yours, “are you ok?”

“I just…let's get back inside…”

Later on in the night, the two of you were cuddled up in Josh’s bed. He had been quiet after everyone left, and you tried to distract him by helping him take down his evidence wall. Sam had collected everything that Josh had “stolen” but there were still other photos and notes left behind. Everything was carefully put in a spare box in Josh’s tiny closet, next to his old crossbow. 

Now, he laid against your chest, letting your arms circle him and your hands gently twist the curls at the base of his neck. Occasionally he’d leave lazy kisses on the forearm closest to his face, working his way up to your palm. 

“He’s never looked at me like that before,” he mumbled into your skin. 

“It’s a lot all at once, Boy Scout,” you whispered to him. 

Josh nodded, “I know it’s just…it’s Jake, you know?” 

You reached up to his face and stroked his cheek with your thumb, “he’ll come around.” 

He readjusted himself to lie fully on top of you, face hovering above yours, “I wanted to tell you something the other night, before you- before I…before I was turned.”

You tilted your head curiously, “tell me what?”

“The first night at that bar, when I was watching you,” he started, suddenly nervous, “it was more than your outfit and general demeanor that let me know who -or what- you were.” 

“I’m confused…”

“I walked in, and I took one look at the crowd and found you instantly. You weren’t paying attention to anything but your phone, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”

“But you…you hated me that night…”

His cheeks reddened, hating how it sounded, “I know…and I’m sorry, I think that's what pissed me off even more.”

Josh was being so vague and not getting to the point, but you played along, “and what was that?”

“That you were the most beautiful creature I had ever seen,” he said, his shoulders visibly relaxing, brown eyes softening even more, “it was like two sides of my brain were fighting each other. On one hand, I had a voice in my head reminding me of ‘why’ I was there, and why I was looking for you in the first place. That you were one of them. But the other part of me, in all my years of hunting, had never realized that Vampire’s could be as pretty as you. I never looked at any twice before that night. They were just numbers and jobs. But you? You almost looked…familiar. I stood at that pool table trying to think if I had ever come across you before, but I didn’t. I would’ve truly remembered if I did.” His fingers traced patterns on your cheek, “I couldn’t help but think, there you are, at the sight of you. And not in the way that I had found my target, but in the way that I was seeing you again for the first time in a long time.”

You were truly at a loss for words, having never had someone speak to you so beautifully, “Josh I-”

“I remember what I said the other night, as well.” 

You licked your lips, eyes shining with tears, “...and what did you say?” 

“I think you know,” a smile formed on his face.

“Then say it, Josh,” you teased. 

He lowered his face to brush his lips against yours so softly that your heart stuttered, before pulling away just enough to look you in the eyes, “I love you, sweetheart.” 

You grasped his cheeks in your hands, “I love you too, Boy Scout,” before pulling him back down to kiss him again. Instantly, he melted into you and smiled against your lips. 

In a flash, the little clothing you both had on was thrown in different directions, leaving you naked on those blue plaid sheets. Your legs wrapped around his waist as your tongue pushed its way past his lips. He moaned into your mouth and grinded into you, nearly gliding his cock through your folds with how wet you were. You rolled him over with ease, kissing along his jawline and down his neck. Out of habit, you were still being careful with him, not wanting to bet too rough. 

Josh seemed to sense that you were holding back and as you were kissing your way across his adam’s apple, he said, “what are you holding back, for?”

You paused, while you were very much aware of his new state of being, you were so used to your hunter being a human that the thought of throwing him around like you truly wanted to still seemed out of the question. With a shrug, you fiddled with the hair on his chin with your fingers, not looking up at him. 

He sat up slightly, resting on his elbows, “I’m not that delicate anymore, you know.” 

This caused you to look up at him, staring into those perfect brown eyes, “you’ll always be delicate to me, Boy Scout.” 

His eyes softened, appreciating the sentiment while he reached up and stroked your face, “and I love that, but we’re both Vampires now, show me how it really goes…”

A wicked grin spread across your face, “you want me to be rough with you, Josh?”

He nodded, eagerly. 

Your eyes darkened at him, and using your strength you pushed him back down onto his back, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss. His hands gripped your hips to the point his fingertips turned white. You moved down his jaw once again and onto his neck, sucking hickeys that stayed for just a couple of minutes before healing. Your nails dug into his hips, and this time you weren’t as concerned if they broke the skin or not. 

Your fangs hadn’t lowered yet, but you were biting your way down his body, enjoying his flesh between your teeth. He threw his head back onto the pillow, mouth agape and eyes closed. Your hand wrapped around his cock as your tongue licked a stripe where his thigh met his body. Your Vampire was an absolute mess of cusses and moans, and he didn’t even know what you had in store for him. You took the head of his cock into your mouth, lapping up the precum and smiling around him as he nearly shouted at the contact. His hands were gripping the sheets, with the very real possibility that he could rip them at any second. You worked your way down his cock, taking every inch of him in your mouth until your nose brushed against the curls at the base. Your tongue worked the underside of him as you bobbed your head.

But before he could get close, you pulled off of him and trailed light kisses down his right thigh. The sigil that he had been given was still there, but was no longer warm or pulsing due to him no longer being human. For now, it was just a pretty tattoo, and a reminder of his past. The real prize was the artery just below it, its pulse singing in your ears as you left open mouth kisses around it. 

“Do you remember when I mentioned drinking from someone's thigh?”

Josh sat up a little at this, and in his lust-fueled haze he nodded. 

“I never got to do this with you when you were human, and in all honesty I was afraid it would get out of control if I did. But as you said, you’re not human anymore, are you?”

His eyes darkened as he stared down at you, “no…not at all…” 

“Would you like me to show you?”

He trapped his bottom lip between his teeth, and his cock twitched in your hand at the thought. 

“Please…,” he breathed. 

With a smile, your fangs lowered in place, and you went back to his thigh, grazing his flesh with them. You pinpointed exactly where you needed to bite, and with a deep breath, your teeth broke the skin and sank into his flesh. One of your hands continued to pump his cock, heightening the sensation for him. The strangled sound that left Josh’s throat was music to your ears as you took your first pull of his blood, his taste flooding your mouth. That flavor that was so uniquely him, and if you were being honest, the best you’d ever had. 

The flashes began as you pulled, not as many as the last time, but still welcomed glimpses into his life. The first was from when he was a teenager, arguing with Sam over breakfast, while Jake stood at the table completely unimpressed. It was such a normal, brotherly moment that you wished you could’ve seen more of it before it flashed to another memory.

 The next was more recent, but his hair wasn’t shaved on the sides, and he hadn’t grown out his facial hair either. It was daytime, and he was waiting outside of what appeared to be a normal looking house. Suddenly, the front door burst open and a younger Jake was shoving a Vampire over the threshold and into the sunlight. The immediate screams and sizzling filled your ears before the memory went dark and you were back in Josh’s bed, your teeth still hooked into his thigh. 

Your hand worked his cock in tandem with your mouth, pumping him while you continued to drink. Within a few minutes, his cock twitched and he cursed up at the ceiling as he came in your hand. Slowly, you withdrew your teeth from his skin, watching the puncture wounds close up and heal on their own. You gave him a final kiss on the area as you sat up on your knees, bringing your cum-covered hand to your mouth to lick off the mess he made. His pupils were so blown his eyes nearly looked black as he watched his cum meet your blood stained lips. You smiled around your fingers, looking up at him through your lashes. 

He couldn’t take it anymore and in a speed he could only recently achieve, he had you pinned down on the bed. His mouth claimed yours and he reviled in the combination of his own blood and release that met his tongue. 

“My turn…,” he announced in a low, gruff voice. He kissed his way down your body as you had done to him, biting and nipping at your skin. He stopped at your breasts and took his time in giving both of them attention. His tongue swirled around your nipple while his hand pinched and squeezed the other, and he switched to the other side before continuing down your torso. 

His lips skipped right past where you needed him most, zeroing in on the same spot on your right thigh. He looked back up at you through his long lashes, and you nodded at him, breathing out a yes. Looking down at your thigh, he concentrated and his fangs lowered into place a lot easier this time. You couldn’t help but smile, proud that he was getting the hang of it. 

He roughly bit into your flesh, sinking his fangs deep into your thigh. You weren’t kidding when you had told him that feeding from the femoral artery was a lot faster than the neck or wrist, as your blood flooded his mouth so quickly he nearly choked. But he used this to his advantage and swallowed quickly before taking a true pull. Your cherry-flavored blood was all he could think about. It was so sweet, so you, that he wanted to taste you every single day for the rest of his life. 

In his mind's eye, a memory of yours came into view. It was dusk, and you were being risky in the remaining sunlight, keeping yourself under the awning of a building on the street. It looked to be sometime in the 1800’s, given the carriages and clothing. Your eyes were fixed on a man sitting with his son on a bench across the street. He recognized the man from the other memory he had seen the other night, the one you called “Colin.” The one you had been in bed with. You were watching the two of them, sadness filled your eyes and your hands twisted your gloves. Colin and his son were oblivious to your presence, and you made no move to make yourself known. 

The memory flashed to another scene, this time it was noticeably later, maybe the fifties going by your hair and attire. You were chatting up a few friends at a bar, lighting a cigarette and laughing at one of their jokes. It was such a stark contrast to the memory before it that it almost gave him whiplash. 

As he came back to reality, his hips ground into the bed, already hard again. Hesitant that he wouldn’t be able to stop, he pulled his fangs from your thigh, licking at the bleeding wounds as they healed. 

Over the next few hours, he took you against any available surface he could find. A round against the wall, another on what little kitchen counter space he had. There was even an attempt at using that tiny poor excuse of a table, but you may or may not have pushed him a little too hard against it, resulting in one of the legs to give out and send you both to the floor in a fit of giggles. 

Eventually you ended up back in his bed, wrapped up in each other and in the now completely ruined blue plaid sheets. It wasn’t until the sun was peeking through the curtains that you two collapsed in exhaustion, letting sleep wash over you as you laid in each other's arms. 

The next night, Josh awoke to a few texts from his brothers. There was a selfie from Sam, showing he and Danny sitting next to each other on a plane, with an accompanied text that read, “on the flight home, promise I won’t clap when the plane lands.”

 

He laughed softly and then opened the text from Jake, which was short and sweet, “just got to Memphis”. There weren’t any other messages or missed calls, and went back and forth with himself on what bothered him more about it.

Instead he distracted himself with cleaning up and packing. He started by picking up his poor lamp that had somehow landed on the floor during your escapades and making sure it wasn’t too damaged. He organized his suitcase while you took a shower, his cheeks warming at how domestic it all felt. 

When it came time for the two of you to leave and head back to your place and wait for Dimitri’s car to pick you up, Josh couldn’t help but feel a little sad in leaving the tiny apartment. It was only for a few weeks, but he had grown rather attached to the place recently, and he was going to miss it. 

Back at your apartment he helped you pack multiple suitcases.

“Are you really only putting shoes into this one?”

You looked at him confused, “and what about it, Boy Scout?” 

He threw his hands up, “no reason…no reason at all…” 

“One thing about me, I never travel light,” you remarked, kissing him on the cheek before venturing back into your closet to grab more clothes. Centuries of traveling had made you an expert in packing, and even with all your little tricks to get more into a bag, you still always traveled with a bunch of suitcases. 

Within an hour, you had six different bags next to your door. Dimitri had sent you a text stating that his driver was on his way to take the both of you to the jetport. All you were waiting for now was a knock on the door. 

Josh stood next to you, slowly lacing his fingers with yours in anticipation. 

At his touch, you turned and looked at him, “hey, we’re going to have fun,” you reassured. “Dimitri will take good care of us. All we have to do is look pretty and in love.” 

Josh tried to hold back a smile, causing the dimple in his cheek to show, “does this make us Katniss and Peeta?” 

Your eyes widened in mock offense, “this is not the same and you know it!”

A smile fully cracked on his face, his tongue between his teeth,  “how many districts -i mean- Dens do we have to visit?” 

You playfully pushed at his chest, “not twelve!” The both of you dissolved into giggles, enjoying these last few moments before your next adventure began. 

Catching your breath you said, “Besides, can you even bake?” 

“What?” 

You gave him a serious look, “Bake. Peeta was a breadmaker, so have you ever made bread?” 

“Woah woah, who said I’d be Peeta in this situation? You’re the one who's all gungho on this telling me to play along and smile like the Capitol wants…” He planted his hands on his hips and looked down at the floor dramatically, “I’m the one who was plucked out of his normal life, away from his family…and technically I am an archer by trade…”

 

You rolled your eyes, “Katniss used a regular bow and arrow, not a crossbow, so that doesn’t count.” 

“Whatever you say, Peeta.” 

“You little sh-”

Bang!

Bang!

The cute moment was rudely interrupted by an equally rude pounding at your door. 

Time to go. 

Now you were in the backseat of the same SUV that had picked you up those few nights before, but this time you weren’t fearing for your life. You made it a few blocks from your apartment before a thought occurred to you, and you leaned forward to speak with the driver. 

“Hey, can you make a right up here?” 

“I’ve been told to take you to the jetport, miss.” 

“I’m aware. But please make a right,” you said tightly. 

With a huff he obliged, turning down the side street. 

“Ok just pull over on this block.”

“Miss I really-”

“Just give us five minutes, I promise. I’m sure Dimitri has plenty of other henchmen on standby if we take too long.” 

“Five minutes,” the driver repeated, giving you a stern look in the rearview mirror before he pulled up to the curb.

You grinned and took Josh’s hand and got out of the car. 

“Sweetheart where are we-”

“I just…I wanted you to meet someone before we left!” You pulled him down the street and turned into an alley, and a familiar heavy door came into your view. Josh was still completely bewildered as to what you were up to, but he trusted you. You flashed him another smile before banging on the door. 

The door swung open, and a rather annoyed New Yorker stood on the other side. 

“Now what the hell- Kid!” Les’ eyebrows raised in surprise, and then furrowed in concern, “you in trouble again?”

“No no, I just…I wanted to see you before I took off again for a little bit.” 

“Oh, well, come right on in,” he sidestepped to give you space, but when Josh followed behind you, he blocked his way. “Now who is this?” 

You turned and tried to hold back a smile, “oh this is…Josh…” 

Les stared at him, looking at him up and down and quickly analyzing him. 

“He’s not human…so he can’t be your dinner…you gotta be invited in?” He looked down at Josh. Les was easily over half a foot taller than Josh, and he used his height to his advantage. 

Josh gulped, totally caught off guard by your friend. Behind the intimidating man, he noticed several different weapons lining the walls and he felt his fangs threaten to come down in defense. 

“Les, he’s with me he’s fine.” 

The corner of Les’ mouth twitched but he motioned for Josh to come in anyway, “well why don’t you come inside then.” 

Josh quickly crossed the threshold before Les shut the door behind him.

Les wasn’t through with his questions, “you got a last name?”

“Les,” you sighed before standing next to Josh, taking his hand. 

“Now, now Kid, he's a big boy, he can answer for himself.” 

Josh squared his shoulders, “Kiszka.” 

There it was. The lightbulb went off in Les’ head, and his eyebrows raised again. 

“A Kiszka…just had to be invited in?” Oh, now he was connecting the dots. He turned to look at you, trying to hold back a smile, “so I was right?” 

You opened your mouth to make a smart ass remark, recalling when he had made the suggestion that the hunter who cuffed you was a bloodline hunter, more specifically a Kiszka.

“...maybe.” 

Les turned back to Josh and took a full step forward, “so you’re the one who put her in those cuffs? You didn’t even see the shape her wrists were in when she got here.” He pointed over to his work bench, his voice cold, “took hours to scrub out her blood from my bench.” 

“Well…about that,” you started, before giving Les a rundown of the last few weeks. The range of expressions he had on his face as you told your story was comical. After you finished, he was quiet for a few moments. 

He looked at Josh sympathetically, “the Council are a bunch of assholes, damn. So where does Dimitri have you running off to now?” 

“First stop is Chicago, at his new Den.” 

Les nodded, “Chicago is decent…but their pizza sucks. If you can even call it that.” His mouth twisted in disgust, “more like a casserole than anything…guess it's good you can’t eat it anyway.”  

You laughed, “I’ll remember that.”

Les turned and pointed his head toward the wall, where a familiar pair of cuffs were clean and hanging on a nail, “I wasn’t going to anyway, but you’re really not getting those back.”

Josh replied lightly, “that's perfectly fine. You can keep them.”

The arms dealer narrowed his eyes, “oh I wasn’t asking for permission. Finders keepers and all that.” 

Josh gulped again. 

“Now come on, give me a hug,” he said, holding his arm out to you.

You nearly leaned back, “since when do you hug?”

 

“I’m only going to ask once, Kid.” 

You smiled and wrapped your arms around his waist in a full hug. The gesture warmed your heart, as you had never seen Les be affectionate to anyone, let alone you. 

As you pulled away, you whispered, “I really like him, Les…” 

He gave Josh a warning look over your shoulder before replying, “if he puts one finger out of line, you know how to reach me.” 

“Les,” you warned again. 

He chuckled slightly, “ok, ok. Now get outta here, you have a plane to catch.” 

He opened the door, and you waved at him before nearly bouncing out the door. Josh followed behind you, but was stopped by a large hand on his shoulder. 

Les leaned in close to his ear, “I meant what I said. You ever hurt her like that again, Dimitri’s little goons and his tunnels will be the least of your problems. I know a lot more than Vampires.” 

Josh nodded, “understood.” 

“Now run along…it's almost Blue Hour, you know,” his voice was ice cold, driving home his point. 

Without looking back, Josh caught up to you in the alley, walking towards the SUV. 

“That was twelve minutes,” the driver said, his voice laced in annoyance. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, whatever we’re back,” you rolled your eyes as you and Josh slid back into your seats.  

The rest of the ride was relatively quiet, and eventually the jetport came into view. The SUV drove directly onto the tarmac, pulling up to the stairs up into the plane. 

This was it. 

The inside of the plane was as luxurious as you expected. Leather seats lined one side as one massive couch, with fixed chairs and tables on the other side. You took your seats on said couch, the both of you feeling a little out of your depth at this point. 

It didn’t take long for the plane to take off, and when you reached altitude, an older gentleman came out of a pair of doors towards the back of the plane. He had a decanter filled with blood in his gloved hands, along with two crystal wine glasses. 

The sudden smell had Josh snapping his head in that direction, his eyes fixed on the decanter. You squeezed his knee, in reassurance, knowing that he was still figuring out how to properly react in the presence of blood. 

The gentleman stopped in front of you, “Dimitri sent his regards, and as a thank you, he sent over a supply of a French vintage, a classic 1972, A Negative.”

You looked at Josh and looked back at the decanter. Yeah, you could definitely get used to this. 

To be continued…

Tag List:  @dannyandthekiszkas , @readyforthegarden , @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine , @wideminded-dreamer , @runwayblues , @wildbluesorbit , @llightmyllovee , @rhythm-of-space , @sacredthefran , @writingcold , @alwaysonthemend , @wetkleenex-gvf , @josh-iamyour-mama , @lightsofthe-living-gvf , @gvfcinema , @sacredthethreadgvf , @losfacedevil , @jakekiszkasbuttsweat , @shutupdevvie , @hearts-hunger , @gretavanfleetposts , @ascendingtostardust , @mackalah , @andromeda-raine-gvf , @jake-kiszkas-smirk , @gracev0609 , @sacredjake , @earthlysorrows , @gvfpal , @myownparadise96 , @itsafullmoon , @gvfmelbourne , @twistedmelodies , @that-witchy-pan , @gold-mines-melting , @texas-bbq-pringles , @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface , @sadiechar , @char289 , @stardustvanfleet , @sunfl0wer-power , @holdingup-fallingsky ,

[bestjeanistmonster]

hey I always wandered why do you chose certain characters in roles for your DC au like sonic as Harley Quinn or knuckles as bat man?

also I love your content btw!

usually i just choose what character roles i think would be interesting to explore for that character, or just what would be most fun

like when you think of Sonic in the dc universe you would instantly think ‘ok he would be the flash’, and its true that he would probably make a pretty good flash and a good story could come out of that, or maybe making Amy ‘harley quinn’ and again lots of character stuff you could do with that

But those options kinda just. write themselves tbh, its a bit too easy for me to just choose those options and call it a day cuz just looking at them you’d get their entire deal.

So when im choosing character roles im basically asking myself, not just ‘what sonic character would fit in this dc role the best’ but ‘what would this specific sonic character have to do/go through to become some version of this character’ or ‘what how would this dc role have to be moulded to fit this sonic character’

lets take Shadow for example!

he was the first person i made Shadow would obviously be batman, just looking at him and his backstory he would make an amazing batman, he fits that pretty well no question

but at the time i made Shadow poison ivy, i was reading the the comic series ‘Poison Ivy: The Virtuous Cycle’, it went into detail into Ivy’s hatred for humanity and how they’re destroying the planet, and how she plans to kill all of them off (including herself) in order to save it. It was so interesting to think about her hatred for humanity this way, so interesting that my brain was like ‘wow if when shadow woke up from his cryostasis and learnt all this he’d probably wanna kill humanity even more lol’

then i thought about it more, Poison Ivy cares deeply for the environment and basically wants to kill all humans cuz they’re destroying the planet and giving Shadow that role kinda adds another layer to that because human’s are destroying the world that Maria so desperately wanted to see and he can literally feel the planet dying cuz of that plant connection + the fact that he was created artificially in a lab by humans (plus alien deadbeat) away from the planet and having that intrinsic connection to that planet below the Ark his whole life, a direct connection to the planet that Maria loved so much, a connection that he would’ve never fully known the extent of if GUN hadn’t raided.

So what if wanting to destroy the planet, he wanted to save it and to save it he had eradicated a certain ‘infestation’, humanity.

that was super interesting to me to explore as a concept so Poison Ivy!Shadow, the first character in my dc au was born!!!

it’s important to me that though im making Shadow and Ivy have the same role im not just copypasting Ivy’s backstory onto Shadow, they’re different characters and those backstories aren’t necessarily interchangeable, different things happened to make them who they are and one might not work for the other.

And if i do make the backstory similar, i wanna make changes so i can justify why they made these choices, like with what i did Sonic

Sonic’s dc au backstory follows similar beats as Harley Quinn’s backstory, but i added some details make it more believable for me to understand how Sonic could ever became what Harleen Quinzel became. So i started him out Nicky from the sonic manga, an insecure, weak, nerdy kid that’s easy for people to beat up and pick on, so he’d be someone with vulnerabilities and insecurities. Then i had Tails and Amy be his number 1 protectors cuz he can’t protect himself, his insecurities deepening cuz of this (not only can he not protect himself, he doesn’t even have the strength to protect them), he lived in the worst place in gotham, etc. Basically a lot of stuff that Eggman could use to exploit and manipulate him.

this made it really interesting and fun for me to delve into his mindset and see how he would tick!

then from Sonic’s kidnapping came Tails and Amy’s motivations to become vigilantes, to save their friend, people like their friend and to stop people like the joker from hurting them

other times times i just make the choices based on vibes and what would fit the plot <3

this character exploration and thinking process is why i personally don’t allow ppl to make character suggestions for any of my aus, cuz its really a personal process of picking out roles and dissecting them in my brain

but yh that’s pretty much why i picked who i picked lol

ty for the question!

[sunkissedchldrecon]

⋆𓍼𓍼ꕤ⌕ ﹅ꕤ⋆ 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆

the piles go from left to right. therefore, pile one is the letter material, pile two is the pink heart lollipops, and so on and so forth.

this is a warning that these are not cutesy messages of love! if anything, they're more so messages about how you view love and interact with it and, really, what you need to heal when it comes to your view of love. at least, from how i felt when doing the readings. these are still important messages, so please don't scroll away because they're not the dreamy view of love, ya know? you may find these messages helpful anyways!

take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. lastly, please don’t be afraid to say if the message resonated or not. it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it’s “bad”.

good luck to you, reader 💖

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Black & White" by Todrick Hall

"Winter Wonderland / Don't Worry Be Happy" by Pentatonix

"Chaining Day" by J. Cole

"Burnin' Up" by The Jonas Brothers

"Work That" by Mary J. Blidge

"Feeling Good" by Ledisi & Metropole Orkest

Cards:

Six of Wands (Rx), Six of Coins (Rx), Ace of Knives,

Five of Wands, Son of Wands, Ten of Knives, Two of Wands

Reading:

Those who chose this pile are sabotaging their own relationships, in general and romantically. You may find that you crave external validation like an addiction but never really find it - at least not in the way you want it, if at all. You may have given up on the idea that you deserve love or will ever receive it. You may close yourself off from others because of these things. As a result of you closing yourself off because of past experiences, you set yourself up for heartache and failure. How can you expect love from others when you don't allow them to see you due the actions of others? It's ironic that the lyrics, "I need you to love me" from J. Cole's "Chaining Day" plays as I write this. With the specific deck I'm pulling from, the Six of Coins comes with the revelation that being open and welcoming towards others and being open to exchanging with other people is not necessarily an equal give and take, but instead doing so "sustainably and equitably". Reveal information and give resources of yourself to others sustainably - meaning don't give your last or until it's almost your last and equitably - when you feel that it's fair to based on what they have also done. Be willing to face your fears when it comes to receiving and giving love instead of hiding because of them. Remember to be aware of when people are not who they seem! Being open does not mean being privy to ignorance. 

Love is not meant to be an easy battle ground, but sometimes the battle is easier to fight than you make it. You may overthink people's intentions and be overly on-guard towards everyone when specific people have not given you a reason to go on the defense. This is part of what you do in making the process of receiving love harder on yourself. Be willing to take risks and receive blessings from it or lessons. You can never heal if you never push yourself to receive healing by going outside of your comfort zone. The many wounds people have wounded you should not allow you to lick at your wounds for eternity. The song "Work That" by Mary J. Blidge fits this vibe very well! When you're pushed to the ground, you have to be willing to process your emotions and keep going rather than allowing yourself to shut down. Show care for yourself even though others have not done the same. 

Parting Lyrics:

Feelin' great because the light's on me

Celebrating the things that everyone told me

Would never happen, but God has put His hands on me

And ain't a man alive could ever take it from me

Working with what I got; I gotta keep on

Taking care of myself; I wanna live long

Ain't never ashamed what life did to me

Wasn't afraid to change 'cause it was good for me

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Tiger Inside" by SuperM

"History Has Its Eyes On You" from Hamilton the Musical

"Given-Taken" by Enhyphen

"Airplane" by Stray Kids

"On It" by Jazmine Sullivan

"Songs About You" by Chika

Cards:

Father of Coins (Rx), Son of Coins, The Empress, The High Priestess, 

Ten of Coins, The Tower, Seven of Baskets, Daughter of Coins, Strength

Reading:

Pile two, you're being kind of greedy when it comes to love. You may be thinking of going the sugar baby route? Or you're seeking out those who are financially stable or rich when looking for love. This isn't inherently bad, but the way you're doing it is so. You may be wanting a lifestyle that you see often on TV that others have and envying them which is distorting your view of the emotion/action/idea of love. "Materialism" and "scamming" are literally mentioned in the deck I'm using. It's okay to be ambitious and to therefore want to be connected with ambitious people, but you can't just dream of receiving things for the sake of receiving. You have to be willing to work for what it is you want to receive instead of feeding off of others. I'm getting that maybe you weren't in a stable financial situation when growing up, and so you seek those who are now in order to comfort yourself now (and your inner child from then). The thing is that you have to be who your inner child needed when you were a kid - not necessarily others, if that makes sense. You may be used to hearing the word "yes" a ton. You may have tapped into your sexuality at some point and utilized it to gain things you may not have had access to before. You may be tapped into your intuition and spiritual forces, but do you actually use them to your benefit? Do you use them to heal the pain that's been festering within you for years now? Do you use it to be your own hero? 

Cowrie shells keep being shown in the cards for this pile; they represent wealth, abundance, prosperity, femininity, fertility, and things of that nature. The thing is that you're going to receive plenty of financial abundance on your own. You don't need to seek out others in order to gain it, so why let it taint your view of what love should be? You need a total upheaval of your idea of love. Whatever you think it is at this moment, erase it from your mind. If possible, think of how you saw love as a child - before you were able to worry about the necessity of money. What was the essence, the purity, of love in your eyes? The change in the definition of what love is for you is necessary to avoid heartache from settling into who you are. With the Seven of Baskets, this deck asks "do you know what you really want? What is truly going to bring you peace?". I'm gonna tell you the obvious that money is not going to bring you the peace or love that you want; it hasn't worked for anyone in the history of humanity, and it won't work now. Focus on developing a new idea of love and, in turn, a new idea of you. You are more than the people who love you. Please, have the courage to confront the debilitating view you have of who you are and what you deserve. It will be a tough road to navigate, but it will be better than the road you're taking now. 

Parting Words:

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by, 

And that has made all the difference.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Love Yourz" by J. Cole

"Hot Sauce" by NCT Dream

"**Flawless" by Beyoncé

"Saturday Drip" by NCT Dream

"Crush" by MCND

Cards:

Five of Wands, Daughter of Baskets, Justice, Two of Wands (Rx), Ten of Knives, 

Five of Coins, Ten of Coins, Seven of Baskets

Reading:

Those who chose this pile may be making love seem harder than it is. "Love Yourz" by J. Cole is a good first shufflemancy song as it literally talks about sort of envying what others have that you may not. The Five of Wands, in this context, talks of creating chaos when it didn't need to exist in the first place. You may be putting yourself into "bad" relationships because you want love so badly. You may be a little bit of an idealist or someone who loves love. You may always daydream about your future spouse or your crush or about people loving you and fawning over you. The idea of being loved is very appealing to you. Also, you might want to be taken care of. You might down yourself and your accomplishments and abilities because of the idea you have of romance and the way you think you need to act to receive it. "**Flawless" by Beyoncé along with Justice lets me know that you need to pull back on the idea of overly relying on others when it comes to your idea of love. Think of it this way: you don't need a significant other in your life to have love be present and given to you. You are totally capable of motivating yourself and hyping yourself up; you are capable of showing yourself the love you crave. 

The people who chose this pile may be scared of taking life by the reins for themselves. You may not think you're dominant or courageous or extroverted enough. You may think that you've fallen into this persona of being unlovable or being someone others don't want to be around or listen to, but you can't allow those former ideas and feelings keep you from becoming the best version of who you are. Some of you might have felt drawn to pile one because of the similar message! Despite your current situation, you can change in order to have more faith in yourself rather than depending on others to reward you with this love that you crave. Some of you may have big families, and they actually give you a lot of love - or they would if you allowed them. This could be literal family, friends, guides, ancestors, or anyone else! The thing is that love is already in abundance in your life in the little things; it's in you waking up every morning; it's in you going through periods of happiness; it's in you looking forward to things in the future. You have to make the choice to give yourself the love you want. 

Parting Lyrics:

But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage

And we don't teach boys the same?

We raise girls to see each other as competitors,

Not for jobs or for accomplishments, 

Which I think can be a good thing, 

But for the attention of men.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

Shufflemancy:

"You're So Beautiful (White Party Version)" from the show Empire

"Secret Secret" by Stray Kids

"N****s" by Kehlani

"Maverick" by The Boyz

Cards:

Father of Baskets (Rx), Three of Wands, Ten of Wands, Four of Baskets (Rx), 

Ten of Baskets (Rx), Judgment, Four of Knives, Eight of Knives (Rx)

Reading:

Those who chose this pile may "hate" love or hate the way love has been shown to them as of now. You may have been in many manipulative relationships where you were left insecure in yourself and who you are. You may have had your trust broken. I'm reminded of how some people have such a bad relationship that they will swear to never even date again. You're not really into the idea of rushing into love and a relationship again. For some of you, you've decided to put up walls around your heart. Others of you are purely in this mindset that you need to work on yourself more than anything before getting into a relationship. You're very much so in your self-care era! You're recognizing that you need to care more for yourself and fulfill your own ideas and wishes before doing so for others. 

I think the biggest thing to get across to this group, while you're realigning with yourself, your values, and your truth is remembering to stay true to yourself and (also) don't be afraid to ask for help. Be willing to look at exactly what it is you value in yourself, in others, in a potential partner, and do this same examination with other things in your life. Think about what it is you expect from each group of people in your life, including you. Be willing to talk with others about what makes you uncomfortable or what you'd like them to start doing in order for them to start being the people you want in your life. If they don't align with what you're wanting, then don't be afraid to drop them. Please exercise using judgment when discerning who is and isn't treating you well. Those who chose this pile should have a major focus on re-centering yourself and your spirit. Allow yourself to receive better by asking and demanding better from others. 

Parting Lyrics:

I'm not yours, never was, and

I really just can't be mad

I'm the one, I know, I'm the one, 

And I'm completely fine with everything that I am

Too damn strong 

To let you get the best of me

Took way too long

To find the light inside of me

[lostyesterday]

My top ten favorite B7 scenes

B’Elanna/Seven is my current favorite Star Trek ship, so I wanted to make a list of my personal favorite scenes featuring the two of them in Voyager. These scenes aren’t necessarily good (although I do think some of them are), and they’re not necessarily the scenes that provide the best “evidence” for B7 as a ship (which isn’t something I care about all that much to be honest). These are just the scenes that I personally enjoyed and have thought about the most.

10. Someone to Watch Over Me

This episode is terrible, but given how much I’ve thought about this particular scene, I couldn’t not include it. This is the Voyager scene that most clearly demonstrates how obsessed Seven is with B’Elanna and particularly with her romantic relationships. To me personally, this screams oblivious gay crush taking the form of jealous obsession. Obviously, B’Elanna is right and Seven is stepping way out of line here. This is probably the worst thing Seven ever did to B’Elanna and she’s so justified in being mad about it.

9. Survival Instinct

I really enjoy this scene because it’s an example of both B’Elanna and Seven trying to change the adversarial nature of their relationship. B’Elanna is trying to help Seven here even though she has difficulty with her. Seven immediately regrets her defensive response to B’Elanna’s attempted helpfulness. I think it’s interesting to see how the two of them have fallen into a pattern, responding defensively to each other because they’re used to their dynamic being adversarial, when they both theoretically have the capacity to understand each other better than most other people understand either of them.

8. Infinite Regress

The infamous cheek bite scene. Is this scene good? No, probably not. Has it lived in my head rent free since I originally saw it? Yes, absolutely. Technically, you could call this the only intentionally sexually coded Seven/B’Elanna scene in the show. Mostly, the thing I can’t stop thinking about is the two of them joking about it afterward. B’Elanna jokingly asking if this qualifies as their second date… I will think about that line forever.

7. The Voyager Conspiracy

I love everything about this. Seven immediately calling B’Elanna as soon as she thinks she’s found a problem with the ship’s systems regardless of how early it is in the morning. The tone of B’Elanna’s response implying this probably isn’t the first time this has happened. B’Elanna actually investigating the problem even though she’s rightfully irritated at Seven for being so annoying. I love them.

6. Course: Oblivion

It’s so, so easy to interpret this scene as Seven being jealous of Tom’s relationship with B’Elanna. Me when the person I have a crush on just got married: Monogamy is stupid, and it would make way more sense and be better if everyone (you) would have sex with anyone they want to, whenever (me, right now).

5. Human Error

Ignoring my issues with this episode, it’s so interesting how one of Seven’s major attempts to become “more human” is to try to connect to B’Elanna in this way. I think she chose B’Elanna here because she’s someone Seven genuinely wants to connect with at this point in the series, but she still struggles with how to make that connection. Also, I cannot stop thinking about Seven thinking in detail about how B’Elanna does her hair. Given the rest of the scene, I think it makes sense to say that she didn’t choose this question/compliment/terrible flirtation randomly and has genuinely just admired B’Elanna’s hair a lot. Which sure is something. And of course I love B’Elanna’s confusion here. She can tell Seven’s trying really hard to be nice, which is so not like Seven that she can hardly believe it.

4. Message in a Bottle

I love how these two scenes represent both the adversarial tension between B’Elanna and Seven, and the potential ways they could relate to and understand each other with time. B’Elanna is clearly deeply frustrated with Seven, and yet she still tries to explain to Seven why people (not just B’Elanna) are reacting negatively to her. And B’Elanna can obviously relate to being perceived by others as rude, which makes her statement that she doesn’t expect Seven to change overnight, with the subtext that she understands deeply how difficult this situation is for Seven too, really fascinating. Seven initially appearing to ignore B’Elanna and then later saying thank you to her compliment is also great. Also, B’Elanna’s reaction to Seven shocking that guy is so fun.

3. Extreme Risk

This is a short interaction, but it’s so interesting. Seven initially tries to engage in their ordinary adversarial back and forth, but when B’Elanna doesn’t respond in the typical way, immediately asks if something is wrong. I love that Seven is the first person in the episode to notice that there’s something wrong with B’Elanna. It’s so interesting that Seven seems almost disturbed by the lack of any hostility in B’Elanna’s responses and by B’Elanna immediately putting Seven in charge of something she was going to do. I think that, in a way, Seven has grown comfortable with her adversarial dynamic with B’Elanna because it’s familiar. Maybe B’Elanna has grown comfortable with it to, to a certain extent, and her lack of willingness to engage in the typical verbal sparring of their relationship in this episode comes from the same place as her lack of desire to participate in the normal routines of her other relationships. I guess I’m suggesting here that maybe Seven and B’Elanna are both more important to each other than the show explicitly portrays.

2. Hope and Fear

The iconic “we’ll be outcasts together” scene. This is probably the single scene that best illustrates the parallels between Seven and B’Elanna – how both of them have been treated like outcasts and deep down expect to continue to be outcasts forever. How both of them feel deeply ambivalent about belonging – desiring it desperately and yet pushing away from it because they believe they can never have it. Also, B’Elanna’s defensive excuse that she was “joking” two seconds after she realizes she was accidentally way too vulnerable is so good.

1. Imperfection

Thinking about this scene makes me want to scream incoherently, but I’ll try to summarize my main thoughts concisely and analytically. This is probably the scene where B’Elanna and Seven genuinely connect and relate to each other most strongly. B’Elanna understands better than anyone else in this episode what Seven needs, and Seven trusts B’Elanna of all people to ask these questions to, to be vulnerable with in this way. B’Elanna saying that Seven’s made an impact on every member of the crew is… a lot. B’Elanna truly listening to Seven here and understanding what it is that’s bothering her and saying the exact right thing in response. The whole framing of this scene with the close-up shots on faces, the softness in B’Elanna’s voice. Fuck.

[cherrybomb107]

Hi guys! I wanna make(yet another lmaoo) post about why I think ppl feel the way they do about Heimerdinger. In my children’s rights class the other day, we talked about the water crisis in my city. (Technically the city where my school is, but I live in the dorms, so let’s just call it my city for simplicity’s sake). Okay, so, the water in my city is unsafe. The pipes aren’t well kept, and there’s a lot of lead in our water that leads people to experience medical complications and get really sick later down the road.

My city’s population is 40% Black, and 15% Hispanic. It’s pretty clear that environmental racism plays a part. But, let’s put a pin in this for a second and come back to it. After talking about the water crisis, we talked about the idea of “slow violence” and “neglect vs. harm” and which one is “worse” between the two. “Slow violence” is violence that occurs slowly and gradually and doesn’t become obvious until it escalates. Perfect example is climate change. We’ve known how bad things would be if we didn’t make changes for decades now. But politicians, corporations and media outlets spent time and money spreading misinformation and downplaying the truly horrible effects of climate change, only now can we see how harmful that was because of the destruction caused by Hurricane Helene and Hurricane Milton.

The act of spreading mis/disinformation and downplaying how horrible something is is bad, for sure. But the true severity of just how bad isn’t easy to see until later, which is why I think it fits the criteria of “slow violence”. Now onto “neglect vs. harm”. The dictionary definition of “neglect” is: fail to care for properly. The definition of “harm”: physical injury, especially that which is deliberately inflicted. Now, when we were talking in class about if we thought that neglect and harm could be put on the same level, I was surprised by one of my classmate’s answers. False consensus effect beat my ass for a second lol. Because I don’t think they’re on the same level. I think neglect is leagues worse than harm. I think there is no greater evil than having the power to step in and stop something and choosing not to. My classmate disagreed.

He thinks that while neglect is awful, it’s not on the same level as actively harming someone. And to my genuine surprise(I am a bit of a know it all, so I was actually shook) he, and I’m sure many other people, feel that way. Which brings me back to how people feel about Heimerdinger, and his neglect of the Undercity. A lot of people don’t like Heimer because of how he failed Zaun. And even among his fans, it’s pretty universally accepted that he neglected the Undercity. But, because of the idea of “slow violence”, and the fact that many people don’t see neglect on the same level as active harm, Heimerdinger gets let off the hook.

Because at a certain point, ignorance becomes willful imo. Heimerdinger had 200 years to pull his head out of the sand and actually pass some policies that would help EVERYBODY, not just the folks in upper Piltover. But he chose not to. He actively made the choice, over, and over and over again to ignore the Undercity. He didn’t even THINK to go down there until Jayce kicked him off the Council!!! Imagine if Jayce hadn’t been there to give Heimer that much needed reality check! How many more centuries would’ve passed before he finally woke up and decided to do better??? I don’t even wanna think about it tbh. The “slow violence” that he was responsible for imo, is his negligence. Because in the face of arrogant, materialistic, self serving, condescending politicians as members of his Council, Heimerdinger did…nothing. He did nothing to stop all the horrible policies/laws these corrupt Councilors were most likely responsible for passing that only served them and the citizens of upper Piltover. He did nothing when the Enforcers were brutalizing folks and throwing them in prison. He didn’t even care to open his eyes to see what was going on in the first place! Jayce had to force him to!

He. Did. Absolutely. Nothing. And that’s the problem! People like Silco and the Chembarons are much more active in the forms of harm they carry out. Having kids work in factories, flooding the community with drugs, grooming a child into becoming the worst version of themselves etc, are all obviously violent. But being a politician who can afford to have all the power and all the ignorance in the world and allowing people like Silco to thrive in the first place is the ultimate act of violence imo. Being a politician who can kick back and wax poetic about “progress” and “scientific innovation” while Enforcers like Marcus are able to kidnap kids like Vi and throw them in prison without a fair trial is violent to me. So yeah😭😭😭

This post is an essay, my bad y’all lmaoo🤭🤭🤭

[marshmallowprotection]

hiii hope ur doing well !! <33 it is me once again hehe

so i have this dynamic between seven and my self-insert-ish oc esias and got curious about something ! how would saeyoung react to an extremely affectionate s/o? :0 not in any way that actually crosses his boundaries but someone who is just really, really in love and grateful, a teeny bit obsessed in a good way and wants to spoil him always cuz he deserves it ( ～'ω')～

Saeyoung has never been adverse to affection. There are people who may think he is because of the way he reacts to the player during the apartment stay, but that has nothing to do with his desires. That has everything to do with the fact that he's paranoid about causing hurt to the player by loving them, after having seen what his choices did to his baby brother whom he loved dearly.

He pushes you away with zero regard to what his heart really wants because he doesn't want you to suffer like Saeran has, but his actions show just how desperate he is for love, YOUR LOVE, he just... needs you to give him space to come to that conclusion. He needs time to cool down that brain of his that's thinking of every horrible thing that might happen to you if you stay with him. His face... is what you'll find if you open a dictionary to the word "paranoid", after all.

The fact that you're mushy-gushy and attracted to him isn't a bad thing. He appreciates that you're open with your heart because he's never been able to be that kind of person. He had to forgo anything selfish in the name of protecting his brother, and he doesn't regret having to do that, but in the same vein, it eats away at him now and again as he learns what it feels like to be a man who's allowed to be happy any way he wants.

Learning how to have free will isn't as easy as it seems.

But, you make it feel like it could come easy.

There's nothing better than knowing he's allowed to be loved, and to love in return. He sighs happily every time you crawl into his lap and pepper his face in kisses. He eats it up whenever you flirt with him in the messenger, much to the chagrin of everyone else, because it's... it's proof he's allowed to be a normal guy. He's not afraid to be open with you. He can say what's on his mind, even if he's not sure of what those thoughts might mean, because you've helped him realize that being honest and open with his feelings includes the emotions that aren't always pretty, too.

That's what it means to be in a relationship... to be with someone who loves you and is willing to work with you if you need time to sit with yourself and breathe. Knowing that there's no reason to doubt your love for him affirms his faith in himself, and holds back most if not all of his insecurities. Sure, you could date someone who didn't come with as much baggage as him, but that's not what you picked. You chose him, and you love him.

You didn't hesitate to choose him, and you're not determined to have "something better".

You want to be with him... just as much as he wants to be with you. There's never been any doubt about that, even when he lied about that to himself. Because, the cat robot called him out in an instant. You don't design a robot to take care of someone in your place, only to have that robot tell you that you shouldn't be so down on yourself because you're with the person you loved enough to create for.

Smush his face in your hands, coo over how cute he is, treat him like you would a stuffed animal that gives you cuteness aggression, and see how long it takes before he does the same to you. You've seen the way he reacts to Elizabeth the 3rd, and she's a little kitty he wants to scoop up and cover in forehead kisses. But, you? You're his love and he won't hesitate to spin you around and toss you on the bed for the coziest make-out session of your life! You can toy with him as much as you want, this is Saeyoung we're talking about!

What's better than indulging in your love?

Literally nothing, says the hacker!

[www-jungwon]

to all the boys i've loved before.

a love letter to someone i hate

005 — dear heeseung,

tw. swearing, hate and love and mentions of kissing summ. you've written a love letter to every boy you've ever loved--secret ones you'll never send. except, what happens when they do get mailed, and every crush you've ever had receives one all at once? love letter. 500

dear heeseung,

i hate you. 

of course, i don’t think you care, not anymore. 

i hate that about you, too. that it’s so easy for you not to care. i think it’s because i care too much. i hate that we balanceused to balance like that. i hate that you don’t care, because i hate that you don’t care about me anymore.

it’s selfish, really. 

i hate that you think you’re so cool now. that it was so easy for you to stop caring about me like that, and then suddenly you decided you were cool. like i was holding you back. like i was the one who wanted you to kiss her that night, instead of hana. like i was the one you wanted to kiss that night, instead of hana. i know you didn’t. i know, because i know you. and you can’t just pretend like i don’t. you can’t just leave like that. you can’t just kiss me for no fucking reason, and then leave. what, do you think that just because you dyed your hair purple, it’s ok for you to leave?

i hate you.

it was so easy for you to not care about that kiss, and leave, like it meant nothing, when to me it changed everything. it was everything. 

it was my first kiss, but it was your second.

i was your best friend, but hana is your girlfriend.

it was everything to me, it was nothing to you.

i hate you, i hate you,

i hate you.

because to me, that kiss was what made me love you.

i hate you.

i hate you, because you don’t care about anything, you act like nothing affects you, you don’t care about me anymore. everything is easy to you. it’s easy for you to not care, it’s easy for you to make friends, for people to love you, to make my first kiss as unspecial and as special as it could be at the same time. i never thought i would love you, but i think you did. you think everyone’s in love with you. but i guess they are. i guess now, i’m just another girl who’s in love with you. but what have you done to deserve anything? kissed me, left, and dyed your hair. you think you can do whatever you want, but you can’t. you’re not fucking cool, you just think you are, so everyone else does too. but i know you, lee heeseung. and i don’t believe everything just because you do. not like hana does. i don’t know what you see in her, i just know that she’s who you chose over me. (although i’m sure you’ll have another girl you choose over her next week, like you do with all of “your girls” now.)

you don’t care about anything. you don’t care about school. you don’t care about me. you don’t care about hana.

i hate you. you don’t care.

i know you. you don’t care.

i love you. you don’t care.

i love you, lee heeseung.

i could do anything, i could blow up the whole world, and you wouldn’t care.

i hate you. i hate that. i hate that i need you.

i need you to care.

i need you to love me.

because when i think about you, it’s like there’s something crushing my lungs, and i can’t breathe. and i know if you loved me, it would go away.

you, lee heeseung, are like the part of my soul i will always need. and i think that’s why i hate you. i don’t want to need you. i didn’t ask for this, i didn’t agree to it. you just came into my life and then left, except you changed a lot of things before you left. i think you changed my whole life before you left. that’s why i hate you.

i hate how your eyes sparkle when you smile, how when i lost my book last year you stayed and helped me look, even though you would be late for practice, and you knew your coach would yell at you. hate how now that you’re cool, you’re always around but never there. hate how every time you dye your hair, it looks impossibly pretty. hate how i always felt so comfortable around you. hate how i wish i still do, because it was my favorite feeling and i miss it. hate how i miss you. hate how my heart feels empty when i think about you, and how you left, how you didn’t think about me when you left. hate how when you kissed me, the only thing i could think was that you were the only person i’d ever wanted my first kiss to be with. hate how when you kissed me, i felt dizzy and on fire and in love. hate how when i think about you, i still feel like that. hate how i wish you weren’t just my first kiss, i wish you were all my kisses. hate how it was so easy for you to just throw me away even though i’d felt like you were the only person who ever truly knew me until then. hate how i don’t think you thought about me at all when you threw me away. hate how you think everything is normal. hate how you don’t feel like you anymore.

hate that i love those things, that despite them, i love you.

hate that no matter how many times i say it, i will never, ever, hate you, lee heeseung.

i hate my love for you. i hate how i’m in love with you. i hate how all i want is to be loved by you. 

but i could never hate you.

i think that’s what i hate most.

that i could never hate you.

because i’m so, incredibly, stupidly, irrevocably,

in love with you.

y/l/n y/n.

an. help i might discontinue this smau like why is it flopping smmm </3 but i had rlly big plans for it so idk

tl. ( comment or send an ask to be added ) @mochamvgz @euncsace @cherrybeomm @sjyuns @rsmura @aerisdairy @illymontyshit @miniature-tragedy @mixtape-racha @oldjws @enhaz1 @stilesks @theskzvibe @infpistj @firstclassjaylee

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