#was debating between if ships or oc ships

[sunshineandviolets]

found a cute new couples picrew!! so i made a couple of IF ships <33 [ picrew here ]

from left to right - Arielle x Carrie (Blood Moon) - Natalie x Shivani (TWC) - Shanaya x Victoria (Infamous) - Crystal x Blaire (Golden) - Rahul x August (Infamous) - Jasmine x Farah (TWC)

[justarandomidiot1]

mp100 fan child, Kageyama Harumi!!! she is about 4–5 years old here and is the bio daughter of Mob and just like her dad, she's a very powerful esper and has been since birth!! loves spending time with her dad and hanging out with "Uncle 'Taka"

she came to me in a vision after i told some friends that i don't think Reigen would have kids of his own, but he'd be so down to babysit for everyone else if they did

[demigodpolls]

calling all PJO fanfic readers!

In the interest of acknowledging great works by fandom writers, DemigodPolls is going to share a big year-end collection of 2024 Percy Jackson fanfic recommendations! In the comment section below or on this AO3 post, leave recommendations for the best PJO fanfics you've read - but there is one major rule: they MUST have been published or last updated in 2024! No exceptions! Reblogs are turned on, but please do NOT leave your recommendations in the reblogs/tags! They will not be considered! Before commenting, make sure that you read the additional specifications below the cut first. If you have nothing to recommend, please do reblog to help support fandom writers and spread the word! Thank you!!!

What we want:

strong grammar

strong writing skills

accurate/interesting depictions of PJO characters

angst/romance/drama/adventure/friendship/character studies/etc

accurately tagged stories (i.e. stories that don't surprise you with untagged triggering content)

stories written with love for the percy jackson universe and its characters

What we DON'T want:

stories that were published/last updated before 2024

stories about ships that would be age-inappropriate in canon, unless the characters are CLEARLY aged up in the story (e.g. no olympians x teenage characters, unless the younger character is explicitly an ADULT when they first meet in the fanfic)

stories that contain non-c*n, inc*st, p*dophilia

stories under 1000 words

stories that fall under "character x everyone"

stories about original characters (stories that contain some OCs in non-protagonist roles are fine, character x reader/self-inserts are fine)

stories that bash other ships/characters (i.e., don't recommend percabeth fics that bash rachel/perachel)

stories that contain non-PJO crossovers (except for RRverse crossovers, i.e. pjo + tkc is fine, toa alone is fine, tkc alone is not, pjo + harry potter is not)

stories that contain gore/extreme violence/extreme bodily harm

stories that contain cheating/infidelity (I just don't want to read those, sorry)

dialogue-only fanfics/texting-only fanfics

stories that contain W*TTG sp0ilers

can I recommend multiple things?

yes! just make sure to categorize them correctly under the relevant prompts.

can I recommend my own story?

yes, but you are highly, highly encouraged to simultaneously recommend at least one other fanfic that you yourself did not write - let's spread the love! (not required)

is smut okay?

yes! but you must specify clearly that the story contains smut in your comment, and please don't use explicit/overly sexual language in your recommendation. I also reserve the right to refuse to consider stories that contain k*nks I don't want to engage with. (ab0, hardcore bd$m, parental name k*nk to name a few)

are non-english fanfics okay?

you are absolutely welcome to recommend non-english fanfics to others in the comments! but I will not be able to put them on the final recommendation list, because I only speak english and I cannot personally vet their contents, cannot observe their grammar, and could be terribly misled by a translator. I'm very sorry! however, if you would like to put together a similar recommendation collection of non-english stories, I'd be happy to promote it on this blog.

is percico okay?

someone asked about this specifically, so here's my stance: percico is a controversial pairing due to the debated inappropriateness of the canon age gap (approx. 3 years). I personally consider 3 years between minors to be juuust beyond my comfort zone (2 years), so please respect my decision to abide by my own comfortability and refuse to consider stories that feature age gaps of this size or larger involving minors. however, you can recommend percico fics where the age gap is explicitly made smaller, or fics where nico and percy are both explicitly adults! this same rule applies to any other ship in a similar circumstance - check the wiki for canon ages if you're unsure! (and to be clear, this is solely about ages, not about the individual merit of the pairing itself. respectfully - this is me drawing a boundary about what I am comfortable with, so do not argue with me on this topic).

is caleo okay?

this pair is even more controversial nowadays, so here's my stance when it comes to weird magical circumstances: within the logic of the pjo universe, some things that seem strange from a mortal perspective are standard within the books. i.e., it's not weird to date fellow demigods, even if the person you're dating is technically your aunt/uncle/cousin/etc. likewise, it's not "weird" for a teenager to date an immortalized or de-immortalized teenager, because... I genuinely don't know, that's just how the book logic works. for that reason, caleo works are accepted. we're going to apply this same logic to pairs like theyna, which could also potentially have murky circumstances (although I do consider thaluke to be especially iffy, because it heavily depends on the situation that people write them in - so if you're unsure, go ahead and submit it, and I'll use my best judgement from there). however, I cannot begin to express my extreme disinterest in discourse about immortal dating ethics - like, I would rather do anything else. not trying to be sassy here, but I'm going to ask you guys to not pick a fight about these topics, for the simple reason that I have zero interest in debating over situations that could never occur in real-life.

are incomplete/discontinued stories okay?

yes! I'd prefer stories that have at least three chapters, but this is not required. completed one-shots are also fine!

If someone already recommended a story that I like, should I vouch for it?

if you would like to, then absolutely!! you can respond to the appropriate prompt from this account in the comments, or you can reply to the person making the recommendation. just make sure to explicitly state which story you're advocating for.

Comments that do not follow these guidelines may be deleted!

How to make recommendations:

There are two places in which you can make your recs! You can click here to leave them on an AO3 mirror of this post, or do so in the comment section below. If the latter, continue reading. Please leave the story name, author username, story rating, main ship, and main characters in your comments - and if you'd like, definitely add some words about why you like it! AO3 direct links are not necessary, but super appreciated. But if it's not on AO3, please ensure that you make clear where exactly I can locate the story. In the comments below, you'll see comments that you can reply to, sorted by ships/lack thereof. Please sort your recommendations by replying to them accordingly (i.e. if you want to recommend 2 solangelo fics and 1 valgrace fic, leave the 2 solangelo recs under the solangelo prompt, then do the same in the valgrace prompt). You MUST explicitly state somewhere if the fanfic contains smut. If you're not sure where to put your recommendations, make your best guess - but absolutely do NOT intentionally mis-categorize your recommendations (i.e, if the pair is not canon, do not put it in the canon pairing section. Seriously. This makes things much more difficult for me while organizing fics, and I'll probably delete your comment anyway.) Lastly, please be mature about shipping. Nothing irritates me more than fighting about percy jackson ships in 2024. If you see fanfics recommended about pairings (or characters!) that you hate, do the mature thing and just scroll past it/do not engage. Character hate and ship hate is not tolerated on this blog. I am very serious about this - if you are starting a fuss about ships/characters, your comments will be deleted and your account will be permanently blocked. Respect your fellow fandom-mates! I will do my best to moderate this comment section, but before looking through them, please understand that I am not responsible for your individual well-being, and there may be fanfic recommendations that are not appropriate for minors/might contain triggering content/etc.

Here's a little form for those of you who find this easier to use, but you don't have to use it!! However, PLEASE do include the following information in your comment regardless:

story name: author: rating: ship: main characters: additional comments (what's it about? why do you like it? etc):

Don't forget, fanfics published/last updated in 2024 only!

Thank you so, so much for participating! The collection won't be published on this blog until late December, so until then, take your time, check those bookmarks, and read new PJO fanfics! Much love to all of you ♡

- demigodpolls

(art by @viria)

(dividers by @cafekitsune)

[lilacartsmadsion]

Cookie Run AUs:

Dark Vanilla AU: Wattpad

An AU where instead of Pure Vanilla, The Ancients are lost after the Dark Flour War leaving only Pure Vanilla is the remaining Ancient. Having lost their rulers, Crispia falls into a dark place of despair, reliant yet hesitant to trust Pure Vanilla. This causes Pure Vanilla to turn bitter and rule with an iron fist to ensure the Dark Flour War never happens again…Also DE ends up taking longer to be free because 4 Ancients holding her back kinda did a toll on her.

Status: Ongoing.

Sixth Lost Ancient AU: Wattpad.

An AU where there was a Sixth Ancient and Gingerbrave ends up getting their Soul Jam. He in turn learns the secrets of its previous owner.

Status: Ongoing

‘Light’ of Truth AU: Wattpad

The story goes off as normal, except Pure Vanilla Doesn't have Amnesia, he ends up in the Dark Cacao Kingdom, and things take a turn...but is it really for the worse if one purges those of darkness? Aka PV accidentally gets corrupted after getting free from DE

Status: Hiatus (Debating whether to redo the AU or Cancel it)

Traitor Licorice AU: Wattpad

Licorice had enough of the CoD and decided to go Apeshit. Added an OC there just cause.

Status: Hiatus (Might rewrite it cause the writing is cringe as hell)

Death’s Darkest Soul: Wattpad

Inspired by ‘The Blizzard’s of Spring’s Wake’ on A03 an AU related to my ‘Ghosts of Our Pasts AU’ that basically has Cacao as a human sacrifice as a baby to the god of Death or smth. Death is an OC.

Status: Hiatus

Ghosts of Our Pasts AU: Tumblr.

A Dark Cacao Backstory AU that was made because I was bored idk. This was written prior to the Dark Cacao update but fleshed out afterwards. All known fanfictions of it were in my Deactivated Account (cause I was a dumbass and accidentally deleted my Account) but I intend to rewrite it and flesh it out some more. I do not intend to make it a fanfiction though, since I prefer it being explained in arts. And mostly because it’s an AU for DCA’s backstory that really contradicts canon.

Status: Uhh????? Idk I make references to it sometimes???

Outcast AU: Tumblr

Traitor Licorice except it’s Red Velvet and Dark Choco who had enough of the CoD. A comedy/Slice of Life AU I made a while back. (In my Deactivated Account) takes place before the DCA update.

Status: Ongoing

Chocobrave AU: Tumblr

An AU where Dark Cacao adopts Gingerbrave. That’s it. That’s the AU. No it is not a ship, this is mainly a Father and Son AU that’s it. (I’ve had an ask before and I feel like I need to clarify) Also this AU is mainly angst with no comfort so get comfy.

Status: Ongoing (Mostly Oneshots)

Future AU

An AU that takes place after DE’s defeat. The Ancients have given up their Soul Jam, thus causing them to pass on. Leaving Earthbread under the protection of the Main 5. However something in Gingerbrave snaps causing him to steal the Soul Jam and create conflict for Earthbread once more.

Status: Ongoing (Told via visual arts)

That time I Adopted a God AU: Tumblr.

An AU where the Ovenbreakers defeat the Witches and become gods, creating Earthbread and all its inhabitants. One day Nameless One pops on over to Earthbread in mortal form and ends up getting adopted by Dark Cacao Cookie.

Status: Ongoing.

Ancients are Gods AU: Tumblr.

Yeah the title is self explanatory except this was a joint AU between me, @beatrixblog and @boneasin not gonna add a status under this because I’m not sure if we’re gonna continue it or not. Bone hasn’t been active in a while…

New AUs:

Pastry Cult AU: Tumblr probably.

Gingerbrave gets baked early and ends up in the clutches of the St Pastry Order, after discovering the truth of the Witches, fueled by bitterness and resentment Gingerbrave spreads false information about the Witches in order to send the cult to its doom.

Status: It’s new so…

Cookie Empires AU: Tumblr probably.

The Ovenbreakers were made to be the Beasts replacements, but seeing what happened to the last batch, The Witches decided to choose cookies to wield the Soul Jams instead of baking a new batch. Now without purpose the Ovenbreakers build empires in the Continent of Crispia and become their respective rulers. Immortal through other means and powerful through their dough.

Status: Still new.

Other Blogs:

Ninjago x LMK Blog

Currently in progress of writing a comic. But I’m procrastinating. Please don’t use this to talk to me about Chronicles of The Earth Master. This is purely for a comic. I will add content for Chronicles of the Earyh Master after Chapter 1 is done.

Time Bone Swap AU Blog

Honestly this blog is basically dead, I don’t have much motivation to work on it anymore. But I wouldn’t mind a few questions for it! Also I will make screenshot edits of the AU every now and again.

LMK AUs Galore

My main LMK blog. Talk to me about LMK here Ig. Though to be fair I barely use this blog for LMK. But that’s mainly because I’m Hyperfixating on Ninjago or I’m making blogs with @zammy357

Markus Stickmin Blog

Mainly an RP blog. Tells the story of Henry’s son Markus and opens a new chapter for the Stickmins. It’s mainly for fun.

Ghost Tripitaka AU Blog.

This RP blog is over, but I thought to link it because I did run the blog with @zammy357. The Au pretty much is self-explanatory.

Button AU Blog

Again this is the main case for most of my RP blogs, this one is over but I’m linking it since me and @zammy357 made it. It’s an LMK Coraline AU basically.

Legacy of the Gods Blog

Originally an ask blog of an OG story. I’m planning on making it comic instead. But possibly in the future.

Inkfection AU

In the process of being Rebooted. But basically an AU of a blog I had that I will link soon.

Keeping up with the Voidlings.

An RP blog with me and @zammy357’s ocs

Ninjago Blog

A blog for most of my Ninjago shit. You’ll see me making AU arts or anything really. Use this for any questions for AUs regarding Ninjago. Especially for my readers in A03

Amnesia Wukong AU Blog

In the middle of a reboot an AU where Wukong loses all his memories.

Broken Vow AU Blog

A future AU for a blog I will link soon.

Lotus Academy AU Blog

A modern AU basically for LMK where Nezha owns a school and basically runs it with LMK characters plus ocs.

Monkie Kid, Demigod Adventures AU Blog

LMK x PJO basically.

Dad Nezha AU

An AU where Mk ends up adopted by Nezha instead of Pigsy.

House of Representatives AU Blog

This is actually an old AU blog remade. Basically a story that explains the main plot of how HS works for my AUs. It’s basically a prequel to Markus Stickmin.

Heart and Mind AU blog

An AU where Wukong splits his personality in two. Basically.

Shi Hou Reborn AU Blog

Wukong somehow kills himself and reincarnates as his son. Macaque takes care of him shit happens.

Lastly my personal favs:

Mentality of Wukong and Ink Cycle Reborn AU Blogs:

These two AUs correlate to each other since Ink Cycle Reborn is the Reboot/Reimagining of MoW. Most of the blogs that say ‘An Au of the blog I’m going to link’ correlate to MoW though not Ink Cycle Reborn. (Since Ink Cycle Reborn tells a very different yet similar story to MoW) Basically Wukong gets consumed by the Ink from the Scroll of Memory early on in the series.

[guess-that-ship]

Guess That Ship Tournament Season 16: Submissions CLOSED!

The Concept: You describe your ship* to me, I pick out the submissions which I find most compelling and pit them against each other without revealing who they are, people vote on them, and their identities gets revealed once they’re eliminated.

Every other season, ships from fanon (something unofficial derived from the canon of a work), fanworks, and OCs will be allowed. This is not the case for Season 16.

Submission Guidelines

*For the purpose of this tournament, relationships do not have to be romantic in nature. (I’m sometimes going to use “ship” as a shorthand, just know I mean “relationships” in general.)

Relationship can be between any number of characters.

Real people are accepted if they’ve been dead for more than 100 years.

Roleplay characters are accepted as long as the description only pertains to the characters and not the players.

Ships based off of fanon depictions of characters (including crossover ships and crackships) and ships involving characters from a fanwork are not accepted.

OCs and OC x Canon are not accepted.

No overtly NSFW submissions. (Mentioning they have sex or are a sex worker is fine, but try to avoid anything more than that.)

Two submission per person. (Do not submit the same ship twice. I cannot enforce this on Google Forms without forcing you to log in. So just be champs and respect this rule.)

Failure to follow these guidelines may result in all of your submissions being disqualified for this season.

Summary Guidelines

Selection Process: I will read through the list of descriptions submitted without reading their names and pick the most compelling submissions. Then, I will check the name to make sure there's no repeats.

Keep it concise, but also bring something unique to the table. Make sure to describe their relationship, not just summarize the events of the story.

Previous submissions for reference. The ideal submission should be 1-2 paragraphs, but you can make it as short or long as you want. Please keep in mind the longer your submission, the less likely it is to get in.

Tips on what to avoid while writing a summary can be found here.

Descriptions should be based on the canon of the source material (e.g. You can say “they love each other” instead of “they’re lovers” if their romantic nature is debatable.). The characters do not have to be canonically in a romantic relationship to be submitted, only that they have some sort of dynamic in canon.

Avoid author commentary. (e.g. "They're canonically x," "I love them," "Play/watch/read this," etc.)

Use canonical pronouns.

Avoid identifying information or setting specific giveaways. (i.e. ninja village, space necromancers.)

The more popular your ship is the more vague the description should be.

Exclusions

Generally, ships that have been accepted into previous seasons will not be accepted. For a complete list, please look here. (No need to look through the whole list, just Ctrl+F to find the ship you want.)

Any submissions from Harry Potter will also not be included.

Notes

I will not vet the ships/pairings for problematic content.

If you participate in this tournament, know that you run the risk of unintentionally voting for your nOTP. The mod does not take any responsibility for any distress that may cause you.

There will be a limit of one ship per media in the bracket. You may submit two ships from the same media, but keep in mind only one ship will be able to get in. (A series or franchise will generally count as one media, but they will be evaluated on a case by case basis.)

Submit your ships here! Submissions will be open until Saturday, June 7th, at 9 PM EDT.

Please reblog this post to spread the word! The more submissions, the better!

[quackity1999]

# — THE MAILBOX is open for business.

i take care of those who take care of me. why do you think i have no one around?

jesus, put two and two together.

this is a c!quackity ask blog :]

SEND ASKS! feel free to pester c!quackity thru asks— general questions, LN reports, dsmp lore refs, tomfoolery and such are encouraged.

i HEAVILY support spamming the inbox.

happy to answer both anons + characters (dsmp, ocs, multiverse: film, musicals, videogames, etc). if ur a reoccurring anon then grab an emoji !

#quackitychirps indicates quackity replies. #charlieposting indicates slime replies.

[ TAG SYSTEM: HERE ! pls check it out. ]

↓ IMPORTANT INFO UNDER CUT. ↓

[ hiii. i'm prophet! he/it/rez prns. biggest cquackity kin known to mankind. yes i am australian 😎😎 ]

rules: literally fucking none. go ham!!!!!!! just please no godmodding. i'll delete anything that goes too far. 18+ mentions are fine — i'll tag accordingly, but it won't be the main focus. sooo have fun go crazy ( admin is 22. keep that in mind thanks )

this blog functions on dialogue instead of written out paragraphs of literature.

IMPORTANT: i don't write any literate rp ( eg; *character sits down and does a thingy* etc etc ) unless it's preplanned in dms for an event. if i am sent starters or asks with literate rp they'll most likely be deleted.

sometimes i throw in a bit of action in brackets, but this is an ask blog first and foremost so i focus on dialogue to communicate action / location / etc.

and in order to keep my blog tidy i don't respond to reblog replies. threads tend to get real lengthy + clutter up things. so— please send another ask instead of reblogging with a reply :) thank you for understanding!

there will be occasional nsfw topics. anything indirect or at the very least suggestive goes into #vaguely 18+. anything explicit will be tagged with 18+ mention. proceed with discretion.

details about quackity :

+ las nevadas era, mainly. if there's specific asks that require a response from vice pres quackity or manburg era q, i can adjust to that: #viceqchirps !

+ he's an avian hybrid! he nests often (usually within an amethyst geode). quackity has a history of being mocked for his instincts and avian attributes, much thanks to a certain ex-husband :/

+ this bitch loves a good debate. motherfucker is a lawyer (sorta) so hit him up with a challenge every now and then. give him fun facts. Threaten him. ask whats going on in his life! throw in curveballs.

[ his chat / asks often show up as pop-up ads. ]

+ my portrayal is canon aligned! las nevadas is important as hell to him, so here's a post that explains in-character how quackity runs LN: HERE. so. yeah, we do business around here. and also torture dream for the revival book but that's not important /silly

+ on that note, i would prefer to avoid interaction with positive/good depictions of c!schlatt for this blog. no disrespect to those who do prefer that, i just personally want to uphold the importance of how schlatt's abuse informed a Lot of character development for quackity. same goes for dream— he's a villain, not a kicked puppy. thank you!

+ i violently swerve between serious interactions and utter hysteria in my replies to asks. its like a fucking lucky dip here 😎 also soz for all the links but it Does make it easier

+ shipping isn't a goal here, so attempts to woo quackity will not end in a romance plot. ofc there'll be some flirting, especially w / canon characters he's had past relations with (schlatt, wilbur, eret, karl, sapnap). i hc he's had a fling with technoblade at least once LMAO. note: apologies to dapduo shippers but they're strictly friends in my portrayal for a reason. :]

+ during las nevadas he has fortnightly gatherings with foolish. he wouldn't fuck a citizen, but he'd fuck a coworker! morals, what're those again?

overall i'm not looking to write romance plots due to c!quackity's view of love during the LN era. (he despises it.)

all anons welcome!!! ADMIN IS 22.

for art references:

my dude's got big big wings such as the first two. no other wings anywhere else though! white / blind in the eye that’s scarred. he got gold fangs to replace his upper canines; to replace the actual missing tooth from techno’s axe but also for congruence. it's also a mockery: piglins love gold.

PLENTY of gold jewelry. quackity focuses so much on his appearance, so— earrings! a brass knuckle made from the rings of schlatt, karl & sapnap. he will never use his own feathers for decoration, though. he's got some necklaces, ofc, no piercings. maaybe an eyebrow piercing but idk . debatable

usually wears a white silk shirt, regular suspenders, black pinstriped pants / slacks, deep red tie with gold intricate detailing & a gold clasp to keep it together in the middle. a fancy pocketwatch with the las nevadas star engraved on the front. his blue or puma beanie obvs! shoes are either dark red (near black) snakeskin or italian leather. steel toed for dropkicking drea—

[ PAST EVENTS: AVIAN PINNED. ]

[backgroundcharacterno15]

TG Artfight Submissions!!!

Hey sorry for not being around much, mocks came down like a ton of bricks but the grind never stops so here's the submission for @tokyoghoulartfight2025

Yes, Ik I used some of the drawings from last year but I genuinely just love some of these

Name: Lyra Sampson

Age: 23 as far as she knows

Born: "what is it to I ask the questions here" (her way of saying she doesn't know)

Education: Home schooled by her adopted mother. She had access to plenty of academic resources (as long as they fit her mother's approved curriculum) and ended up being very well educated on a lot of matters. She's just never had the same opportunities to socialise with kids her age

Gender: Female

Species: Ghoul

Kagune type: Bikaku

Height: 160cm (5ft 3)

Weight: 60kg (130lbs)

Blood-type: A+

Likes: loud crowds, synthwave music, 80s music, fancy and expensive pens, the feel of paper fresh off the press, pale colours (it's why she has so many clothes in the same pale orange and pink), flowy skirts, being correct, vintage upholstery

Dislikes: being interrupted, complete silence, the french, clickbait headlines, hypocrisy, long winded scientific papers that she has to use as sources, having to sit with her own raw thoughts for too long

Favorite Literature: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

Sexuality: Who knows? certainly not her

Hobbies: debating, crochet, making her own crosswords and word searches, playing the cello (she doesn't own her own cello but takes any opportunity to use one)

Personality: Lyra is a very headstrong person who charges headfirst into damn near any battle of wit, no matter how many times she gets burned because of it. So much of her work is motivated by her insistent empathy but she has found that compassion often doesn't get the most attention so has learned to mask all of her true anger at the world through a smug and know it all expression.

Positive traits: caring, a strong sense of justice, witty, well educated, calm in the face of danger, tech savvy, a great listener

Negative traits: often too physically weak to fight her own more physical battles (being raised by humans will do that to you), interrupts a lot, often too headstrong to know when to give up

Background: After being rescued by her adoptive mother Mona Sampson, Lyra was raised in the boarding school the Mona owned away from all of the other children. Here, Lyra was taught that this level of hospitality was standard and that ghouls are indebted to humans for handling their animalistic ways. She was also taught that the CCG was only really there to handle the ghouls to "far gone" to be saved by human hospitality and that she should be grateful for their presence.

Once she turned 14, Lyra decided to leave home in an attempt to bridge the gap between ghouls and humans once and for all by the power of investigative journalism. When she started to confront the world herself, she watched everything she had learned for the past 10 years unravel in front of her. After a particularly depressed year of trying to write columns defending what she had known for so long, she spent the next 2 years researching and developing her knowledge beyond her lifetime of indoctrination.

Lyra began her career from scratch and quickly developed a committed online and in person following and has been working under The Horizon Monthly ever since.

DOs:

Ships I'm okay with: anyone from canon or one of your ocs. I'm not sure who I would really want to see her with but I'm curious to see who you guys would think she'd work well with

Things I'm okay with: angst, fluff, regular shots, sh

DON’TS:

Things I’m NOT okay with: killing Lyra off

Ships I'm not okay with: uhhhh can't think of anything

[shiorihyugawrites]

The Legendary Black Cat

Selena de la Rosa, known across Marley as the Legendary Black Cat, is the world's deadliest assassin—a master of agility, precision, and deception. When Marley turns against her, she is shipped to Paradis as a living weapon, chained and drugged, with her survival all but assured to be short-lived. But Selena is no ordinary prisoner.

Bound by no one, loyal to none, Selena plots her next move, determined to seize her freedom by any means necessary. Yet, her plans are complicated by the Scouts who captured her, particularly Captain Levi Ackerman—the so-called Humanity's Strongest Soldier. Selena is intrigued by his strength and reputation, but her pride refuses to acknowledge him as her equal.

Caught between Levi’s unrelenting gaze, Selena plays a dangerous game of manipulation. She’s biding her time, but when the moment comes, will her calculated escape bring her freedom—or will her path collide violently with Levi’s unwavering resolve?

The Black Cat has always landed on her feet, but for the first time, she might meet her match. (Levi x OC)

Chapter Twenty Eight

The candlelight flickered softly in Selena’s quarters, casting golden hues across the wooden walls. She sat on the edge of her bed, absentmindedly running her fingers along the bandages still wrapped around her thigh and shoulder. The dull ache of her injuries was a reminder that she was still healing, but it wasn’t just her body that felt like it was in the process of mending.

Her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts.

Levi had left just moments ago, slipping out quietly after their moment together. He had hesitated, lingering near the doorframe as if debating whether or not to stay, but ultimately, he had decided to leave. Selena hadn’t stopped him. She understood Levi enough by now to know that he needed time to process things on his own. What they were beginning to build between them was still new, fragile, something Levi had never experienced before. If she pushed too hard, he would retreat, his walls shooting back up like an impenetrable fortress.

And she didn’t want that.

She wanted him to come to her on his own.

Selena leaned back against the bed, exhaling deeply as she stared up at the wooden ceiling. It was crazy, the way life had unfolded. If someone had told her a year ago that she would end up here, in Paradis of all places, she would have called them insane. She was supposed to be dead.

Her fingers curled into the sheets beneath her as memories of that day on the ship resurfaced. She could still hear the screams of the prisoners, Eldians that Marley had deemed expendable, their bodies writhing in terror as they awaited their horrific fate. She had been thrown in with them, bound in chains like livestock, waiting for the moment they would be dumped onto the island’s shores to be turned into mindless titans.

The scent of saltwater and blood had filled her nostrils as she struggled against her restraints, fury and terror consuming her in equal measure. She had been ready to die, to meet the same cruel fate as the others, until the ship had suddenly lurched, an explosion of chaos erupting around her.

The Attack Titan.

Eren had appeared like some wrathful deity, lifting the ship with ease before slamming it into the rocky shoreline of Paradis. The impact had sent bodies flying, metal groaning as it was twisted and shattered. And in the midst of it all, she had somehow survived.

Not by luck. Not by chance.

By sheer will to live.

And that was when she met them—the people she had been taught to fear. The devils of Paradis.

But the devils had turned out to be nothing like she had imagined.

They weren’t monsters.

They weren’t savages.

They were soldiers. People fighting for their own survival just like she had been.

And now… she was one of them.

Selena sat up, running a hand through her dark curls as a small, amused smile played on her lips. It was ironic, really. She had spent years believing in Marley’s lies, thinking that the people of this island were nothing more than mindless beasts, and now she stood beside them, fought for them. Respected among their ranks.

And she was falling in love with the grumpiest one of them all.

Her smile widened as she thought about Levi—his serious, no-nonsense demeanor, the way he always scowled as if the world personally offended him. But beneath all of that was something much deeper, something she had only recently begun to see.

Levi was a protector, a man who carried the weight of countless losses on his shoulders. He was cold at times, harsh even, but not because he was cruel. It was because he cared. Because he had lost too many people already and didn’t want to lose anyone else.

Selena had seen it in his eyes tonight, in the way he had hesitated before leaving, the way he had looked at her when he thought she wasn’t paying attention. Levi Ackerman wanted her. He just didn’t know how to say it yet.

And that was okay.

She would wait.

She would give him time to come to terms with his feelings, to accept that he didn’t have to be alone anymore.

Selena lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with a soft sigh. Her body ached, exhaustion weighing heavily on her, but her mind remained restless.

She wondered if Levi was thinking about her right now.

Somehow, she had a feeling he was.

…

The night was quiet, save for the occasional rustle of leaves in the trees and the distant chirping of crickets. Levi moved silently through the perimeter of the Scouts’ headquarters, his boots pressing lightly into the dirt path as he patrolled the grounds. The cool night air carried the faint scent of rain, and the moon hung high in the sky, casting pale light over everything.

But Levi’s mind wasn’t on his surroundings.

It was on her.

No matter how much he tried to focus on his duty, his thoughts kept circling back to Selena.

Everything about her occupied his mind.

Her voice, rich and laced with that ever-present teasing tone, whispering Capitán with that thick accent of hers. The way she laughed—cackled—without shame, a sound that once irritated him but now had burrowed itself into his memory, refusing to leave.

The way she cared.

Selena pretended to be detached, unbothered, acting as though she merely tolerated the squad. But Levi had seen through the act long ago. He had seen the way she fussed over them, correcting Connie and Jean’s stances in training with a firm but guiding hand, how she encouraged Sasha to improve her already impeccable aim, how she subtly praised Mikasa’s precision, how she firmly, yet lovingly quelled Eren’s hot-headedness when his temper rose too much, how she let Armin talk for as long as he wanted without interrupting him, something few people had the patience for.

She had a way of making them feel like they mattered.

And then there was the way she cared for him.

Levi still wasn’t used to it. He didn’t know how to be cared for, not in the way Selena did it. Not in the way that made him feel seen.

She had taken bullets for him.

Even now, the memory of that moment burned in his mind, the way she had thrown herself in front of him, the way her blades had moved so fast they blurred, deflecting bullet after bullet with reckless, desperate precision. He had never seen anything like it. He hadn’t even known it was possible until she had done it.

She had done it for him.

The weight of that realization had been sitting in his chest ever since. Levi had always been the one protecting others, throwing himself between death and his comrades without a second thought. It was what he did. It was who he was. He didn’t know how to be on the receiving end of that kind of protection.

And yet, Selena had done it without hesitation.

Levi exhaled sharply, stopping near the edge of the forest, gripping the hilt of one of his blades as he stared into the darkness.

She had been in love before.

With him.

Kwasi.

The name alone made Levi’s grip tighten. He didn’t like thinking about it, about what Selena had endured with that piece of shit. He had known since she first told him about Kwasi that the relationship had been bad. But hearing her talk about it—really talk about it—had only made Levi’s hatred for the man grow tenfold.

What kind of person could have Selena—Selena—and want to hurt her?

Levi didn’t understand it.

And he never would.

Selena was infuriating, reckless, arrogant, and annoying as hell, but she was also… Selena. She was strong. Smart. Loyal. Beautiful.

The thought sent a strange, unfamiliar warmth through his chest, and Levi clenched his jaw, scowling at himself.

He wanted to be something different for her.

He wanted to be a safe place for her.

He knew what it was like to come from nothing. To fight for every breath, to claw his way through a world that wanted nothing more than to see him dead. Selena knew that fight, too. They had both been survivors, shaped by war and violence, forced to be weapons for other people’s causes.

But Levi was tired.

And if he was being honest with himself, he wanted more.

More than just survival. More than just war.

He wanted Selena to have more, too.

She deserved it.

And if there was a life beyond this—beyond the endless bloodshed, beyond the battles and the losses—Levi realized that he wanted to share it with her.

The realization made his stomach twist.

He didn’t know how to do this.

He had never been in love. Never even thought about what it meant to want someone in the way he wanted Selena.

He didn’t know how to say it.

Hell, he didn’t even know how to show it.

But maybe… maybe one day, when this was all over, when they had won—if they won—maybe he would find a way.

Until then, he would protect her.

No matter what it took.

With a quiet sigh, Levi turned away from the trees and continued his patrol, gripping his blades tightly.

He still had a war to fight.

But now, he had someone he needed to survive for.

…

The next day, the air in the war room was thick with tension as Selena stood before the group, her poison-green eyes blazing with determination. The flickering candlelight cast shifting shadows on the map spread across the table, marking various locations of interest. Erwin and Hange sat at the head of the table, listening intently, while the rest of the squad—Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, and Sasha—stood in a loose semicircle around Selena and Levi.

Selena had just laid out her plan.

She wanted to strike first. To hunt down Kwasi and Aoi before they could regroup and return with another attack. To kill them before they had the chance to kill more of their people. It made perfect sense. It was a smart, strategic move.

But it also meant going alone.

And that was where the problem lay.

"No," Levi said flatly, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the edge of the table. His expression was unreadable, but Selena could see the stubborn glint in his steel-gray eyes. "You're not going alone."

Selena exhaled sharply through her nose. "Capitán—"

"Don't Capitán me, Selena," Levi cut her off, his voice sharper now. "It's not happening."

Selena placed her hands on the table, leaning forward as she met his glare with her own. "Kwasi and Aoi are too strong for the squad," she argued. "Even injured, they’re still deadly. I know how they think, I know how they fight, and I know exactly where they’ll be hiding. If I go alone, I can slip in, slit their throats, and be done with it before they even realize what’s happening."

"Or you get yourself killed," Levi snapped back. "And I’m not about to let that happen."

Selena scoffed, tilting her head. "You think I can’t handle them?"

Levi's fingers twitched at his sides. "That’s not the point."

"Then what is the point, Capitán?" Selena pressed, her voice dangerously soft.

"The point is I’m not letting you throw your damn life away," Levi said, his voice barely above a growl.

Selena straightened up, squaring her shoulders. "I’m not asking for permission."

Levi stepped closer to her now, the space between them shrinking to mere inches. "And I’m telling you it’s not an option."

The air crackled between them.

Selena felt the familiar frustration bubbling in her chest. This was Levi. Stubborn, unyielding, impossible Levi. And damn it, she should have expected this response from him, but it still irritated her to no end.

"You’re not going alone," another voice chimed in, breaking the moment.

Selena turned her head to see Eren, standing rigid with his arms crossed, his jaw set in a determined line. His green eyes burned with the same fire they always did when he was ready to fight.

"You think we’re just gonna let you run off on your own?" Jean added, stepping forward as well. "Not happening."

"You’re stuck with us, like it or not," Connie said with a grin, though there was a serious edge to his tone.

"Selena," Mikasa’s voice was softer, but firm. "We fight together."

Selena looked around the room, meeting the gazes of each of them. There was no hesitation in their eyes, no uncertainty. Even Sasha, who had barely survived the last battle, nodded resolutely.

They weren’t letting her do this alone.

Selena clenched her jaw, shaking her head slightly. "This isn’t a mission for a squad," she argued. "It’s an assassination. And I’m an assassin."

"Then let us be assassins," Armin spoke up now, his voice calm but unwavering. "You’re not the only one who can be strategic, Selena. If we work together, we can take them out without losing anyone. Isn’t that better than running in alone and risking everything?"

Selena’s fingers curled into fists at her sides. "You’re all too soft," she muttered. "Kwasi and Aoi don’t play fair. They’ll kill you without a second thought."

"And you think we don’t know that?" Levi’s voice was low and steady, cutting through the air like a blade.

Selena looked back at him. His expression was hard, but there was something else beneath it—something raw.

"You’re not doing this alone," Levi said again, and this time, there was no room for argument.

Selena felt the weight of the room pressing down on her.

She could fight them on this. She wanted to fight them on this. Every bone in her body was screaming at her to go alone, to finish this the way she had always handled things—quietly, efficiently, without attachments.

But the attachments were already there.

And they were standing in front of her.

Selena exhaled slowly, rolling her shoulders before placing her hands on her hips. "Fine," she said finally, though her voice was still laced with irritation. "But if you get in my way, I will kill you myself."

Connie laughed nervously. "Pretty sure we’re all used to that threat by now."

Selena shook her head, but there was the faintest trace of a smirk tugging at her lips.

Hange clapped her hands together. "Alright, now that we’ve settled that riveting debate, let’s focus on the plan. Selena, you said you know where they’ll be hiding. Walk us through it."

Selena sighed and leaned over the map again, tracing a slender finger over a point just outside of the main roads leading toward the old Scout outpost. "They’re most likely here. It’s secluded, gives them a vantage point to keep an eye on us, and has multiple escape routes. Kwasi isn’t the type to stay put, but Aoi is still healing, which means they’ll be holed up somewhere they feel safe. This is the most likely spot."

Levi studied the map carefully. "And how do you plan to get in without being spotted?"

Selena smirked. "That’s the easy part."

Levi narrowed his eyes at her. "Somehow, I doubt that."

Selena’s grin widened. "Have a little faith, Capitán."

Levi exhaled sharply, shaking his head.

Erwin, who had been listening silently up until now, finally spoke. "We move at night," he said. "Minimal visibility, maximum stealth. No unnecessary risks. The goal is to eliminate them before they can counterattack."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

Selena tapped her fingers against the table, her mind already running through a dozen different strategies. She still wasn’t thrilled about the squad tagging along, but if they were coming, then she would make damn sure none of them died.

Marley had taken enough from her.

They weren’t taking anyone else.

Not if she had anything to say about it.

…

Later that night, the air was crisp, carrying the scent of damp earth and the faint smoke from torches that flickered along the walls of the Scout headquarters. The sky stretched above them, a deep shade of navy, the moon casting its cold silver light over the camp.

Selena stood by the armory, meticulously adjusting the straps of her ODM gear. The familiar weight of the harness settled against her frame, bringing her an odd sense of comfort. This was routine. This was what she knew. The quiet before a mission was always the same, yet tonight felt different. Heavier.

Around her, Levi and the rest of the Special Operations Squad were also preparing. Sasha was busy double-checking her gas canisters, while Jean and Connie were going over their blades, making sure they were properly sharpened. Mikasa adjusted her harness with precision, her dark eyes flickering toward Selena every so often, as if silently assessing her condition.

Selena knew they were still worried about her, despite her insistence that she was fine. She could still feel the sting of her injuries—the bullet wound in her leg still ached, and the one in her shoulder made certain movements stiff. But pain was nothing new. She had fought through worse. She wasn’t about to sit this out.

As she finished securing her gear, a shadow approached her from the side. She recognized the steady, purposeful steps before she even turned her head.

Erwin.

“Selena,” his deep, even voice greeted.

She looked up, meeting his sharp blue gaze. Even now, there was something unreadable about Erwin Smith. His presence always carried a sense of calculated control, a mind constantly turning, always several steps ahead. It was something Selena could respect. She knew how to read people, and Erwin had been one of the few who never played games with her.

“Commander,” she acknowledged, tilting her head slightly.

He studied her for a moment, his expression unreadable, then exhaled softly. “I made a gamble on you.”

Selena arched a brow at that. “Oh? And do you regret it?”

Erwin’s lips twitched, almost amused. “Not for a second.”

That answer caught her off guard, but she masked it well, crossing her arms over her chest. “Most people would call you a fool for trusting me,” she said, her voice teasing but with an underlying truth.

Erwin shook his head. “I never saw you as just a weapon, Selena.” He turned his gaze toward the younger scouts, watching them go about their preparations. “You care about them.”

Selena frowned slightly, following his gaze. She saw the way Sasha was nervously tightening the straps on her harness, the way Armin was deep in thought, likely running over every possible scenario in his head. She saw Mikasa’s steely focus and Jean’s quiet determination.

She sighed, running a hand through her curls. “Yeah… I guess I do.”

Erwin nodded as if he already knew. “And you care about Levi.”

Selena’s lips parted slightly, caught off guard by the directness of his words. Her first instinct was to deflect, to brush it off with a smirk and a teasing comment, but for some reason, she didn’t. She simply held Erwin’s gaze, letting the silence settle between them.

“You’ve changed him,” Erwin continued. “For the better.”

That surprised her. She had expected Erwin to be wary of how she and Levi interacted. She knew he had his doubts about what effect she might have on Levi—whether she would distract him, compromise his judgment. But hearing that she had made him better…

She didn’t quite know how to respond.

“I won’t lie and say I wasn’t concerned at first,” Erwin admitted. “Levi is my strongest soldier. I couldn’t afford to let anything compromise that.” His gaze softened slightly. “But I see now that it’s made him more focused. He’s always fought for humanity, for the Scouts… but now, he’s fighting for something else too.”

Selena swallowed. She knew exactly what Erwin was implying.

Levi had always been driven, relentless, a soldier through and through. But she had seen the shift in him. He had always been willing to die for the cause, but now… now he seemed determined to live.

For her.

It was a terrifying realization, but at the same time, it made her feel something warm in her chest—something she hadn’t let herself feel in a long time.

Erwin folded his hands behind his back. “You’re an asset to the Scouts, Selena. But more than that… you have a place here.”

Selena let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

A place.

That was something she never thought she would have. Not in Marley, not anywhere.

But here? With these people? With him?

She looked around again. She thought of all the moments she spent training this squad of so-called amateurs, laughing at their mistakes, scolding them for being reckless. She thought of Sasha and Connie looking up to her with admiration, of Mikasa’s quiet respect, of Armin’s careful strategies. She thought of Levi.

She had spent her life being used—by Marley, by her handlers, by everyone who saw her as nothing more than a weapon to be wielded.

But here, she had been given something she never expected.

Purpose.

Selena turned back to Erwin, a small smirk playing on her lips. “Well, aren’t you sentimental tonight, Commander?”

Erwin exhaled a soft chuckle. “Don’t get used to it.”

She shook her head, but there was a warmth in her chest now, something steady, something solid.

She had made the right choice.

Even if it had been forced upon her at first, even if she had been thrown into this world against her will…

She wasn’t leaving it.

This was her home now.

And she was going to protect it.

After Erwin left, Selena stood alone, watching as the squad clustered together near Hange, their conversation filled with a mix of tension and nervous energy. Even at a distance, she could tell they were trying to shake off the weight of what was to come with idle chatter and forced laughter.

She sighed, rolling her shoulders as she adjusted the harness of her ODM gear. No matter how much preparation they did, the reality was simple—people were going to die. Whether it was their enemies or their own comrades, blood would be spilled, and she would make damn sure it wasn’t hers or her squad’s.

She heard the approaching footsteps before she saw him. Levi’s gait was always unmistakable—quiet but with an intent that carried through the ground. He stopped a few paces away, his arms crossed, eyes sharp as ever.

“What did Erwin want?” he asked, his voice flat, but Selena caught the slight edge to it.

She smirked, tilting her head as she studied him. “Are you jealous, Capitán?”

Levi scowled immediately. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped, shifting his weight slightly.

Selena chuckled, shaking her head. “Relax, Levi. We were just talking.”

Levi didn’t seem convinced, but he let it drop. His steel-gray eyes studied her closely, his expression unreadable before it turned serious.

“Promise me you won’t be reckless on this mission,” he said, voice quieter this time, but firm. “I don’t want you risking your life again.”

Selena blinked, caught slightly off guard by the shift in his tone. She opened her mouth to respond, but Levi wasn’t done.

“And leave Kwasi to me.”

That made her scoff, a small flash of irritation flickering through her. “The hell I will,” she shot back. “He’s mine.”

Levi’s jaw tightened. “This isn’t about your pride, Selena,” he countered. “It’s about your life. You’re still injured, no matter how much you pretend otherwise. I would feel better if you focused on Aoi. She probably doesn’t have much fight left in her with those injuries.”

Selena’s hands clenched at her sides. “I don’t need you coddling me, Levi.”

“I’m not coddling you,” he snapped. “I’m making a tactical decision. You taking on Kwasi in your state is suicide.”

“I can handle him—”

“Dammit, Selena, listen to me!” Levi’s voice rose just slightly, frustration bleeding into his usually controlled tone.

Selena narrowed her eyes, lifting her chin defiantly. “No.”

And then Levi moved.

Before she could react, his hands were on her face, rough palms cradling her cheeks as he yanked her forward and kissed her—deep, intense, and completely overwhelming. Selena’s breath hitched, eyes fluttering shut as the world tilted, the solid warmth of Levi’s body pressing against hers.

It wasn’t like before. It wasn’t something Selena had initiated. This was Levi. This was all him—his raw emotions, his unspoken fears, his desperation. It was hard, needy, and laced with all the things he couldn’t bring himself to say aloud.

Selena felt it.

Levi was terrified.

Terrified of losing her.

Terrified that she would go into this fight with the same reckless abandon she always did and not come back.

Terrified of what it meant for him if something happened to her.

Selena’s fingers curled into the fabric of his jacket, gripping tight as she kissed him back, matching his intensity. She poured her own silent emotions into it, her own understanding, her own unspoken feelings. When they finally broke apart, Levi didn’t move away. His forehead rested against hers, his breath warm against her lips.

“Please,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “Just this once. Listen to me.”

Selena swallowed hard, her fingers still fisted in his jacket. Levi had never asked her for anything before. But now, he was begging her.

She exhaled shakily. “Levi…”

“Trust me,” he said, and that was what did it.

Selena realized in that moment that she did.

More than she had ever trusted anyone in her entire life.

Kwasi had once demanded her obedience through fear and violence, through twisted desire and control. But Levi… Levi wasn’t demanding anything. He was asking. He was giving her the choice.

And that was why, this time, she would listen.

She nodded slowly, her fingers loosening their grip on his cape. “Okay,” she whispered.

Levi exhaled, and she felt some of the tension leave his body. He pulled away slightly, his hands slipping from her face, but not before letting his thumb brush over her cheek.

“Good,” he murmured.

Selena let out a breathless chuckle, shaking her head. “You’re lucky you kiss well.”

Levi rolled his eyes, but there was the faintest twitch of amusement at the corner of his lips. “Tch. Don’t push your luck.”

Selena smirked, but it softened as she looked at him. “I do trust you, Levi.”

Levi met her gaze, something unreadable flickering through his stormy gray eyes before he nodded. “I know.”

Selena felt a sense of certainty settle over her that wasn’t alone in this fight anymore.

Or ever again.

~

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[pinkyjulien]

I really, really hate the "Female V is canon" vs "Male V is canon" debate that been popping here and here in the tags those past weeks

Cyberpunk 2077 is a Role Playing Game, there is no "canon" protagonist, that's the whole point. We all have a different playstyles, different stories and headcanons, our custom V is The Canon V of Our Own playthroughs!

After Phantom Liberty dropped, I've seen a lot of players, on Tumblr or Twitter, voicing their concerne and disappointment in how much more Female V focused the official promo, videos and even in-game credits became

I was one of them too, expressing my feelings multiple times, sometimes awkwardly, frustrated that Male V players were once again brushed to the side, because that's how it feels like, right?

Well, it might feels like it, but this isn't the case AT ALL, far from it. This is only what I would call a "Fandom Phenomenon" and I want to talk more about it a bit

I had a great conversation with a friend of mine who works in the game industry and it opened my eyes on the matter, and I've since been really interested in seeing RPGs statistics!

Because it's really, really important to make the difference between the Casual Player Base (majority of players) and the Fans / Fandom Base (minority of players)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I always been lurking in fandoms here on Tumblr, since Mass Effect, Dragon Age, and now with Cyberpunk 2077 and Baldur's Gate 3

First I want to drop some stats- might be completly wrong, but I'm only sharing my point of view here, in an attempt to explain why some people are frustrated with Female V being the focus (and why we shouldn't be!)

I think it's not wrong to say that fandoms are mostly occupied by women and fem-identifying individuals; fandoms are a safe place for players and fans to share their passions. Women are STILL HEAVILY harassed and hated in the gaming industry as a whole, it doesn't take a lot of digging to catch a vile comment on Twitter or on Twitch for example, you cannot go far without seeing someone either attacking or sexualizing them

This is a huge problem in the industry still, every games that release with a female protagonist get trashed- just look at the bullshit surrounding GTA 6 just because players will be able to play as a woman as an option

Fandoms are also safe for non-gender conforming people, non-binaries, trans people and queer men, but I think fem individuals and women are a clear majority, at least on Tumblr (only talking about genders identity here and not about being queer or not, not talking about sexualities or attraction) (not an official stat at all and only my point of view and experience from being on Tumblr since ~2012)

Now let's talk about Cyberpunk 2077- because this is my main fandom since 2020, and what prompted me to write this post in the first place

CDPR didn't share any stats recently, but it's REALLY SAFE to assume the MAJORITY of players are playing a straight Male V romancing Panam, followed by a lesbian Female V romancing Judy, but the player pools for both options are still majoritarly cis hetero men (and they are still the focus for AAA studios to sell their games, this is sadly just how it is)

However on the fandom side, Fem V was always the focus; virtual photography, mods, ships, OCs... She was always more popular than Male V, getting more interactions and notes and why trends like "Male V monday" were created and why there is still a lack of male V focused mods (non-binaries and trans fem folks and characters are also sadly under-represented in all type of content and art)

So, being yourself as a non-fem player, playing as a Masc V, seeing CDPR officially make the switch from Male V to Female V, when the space you've been in for the past 3 years has been overwhelmingly Female V focused on all front, was a bit of a punch in the guts; like I said earlier, I was reaaally frustrated with this too!

And I'd say it's "normal"? or at least "ok" to feel this way, it makes sense considering how little attention Male V in general get in the fans community

BUT. BUT... It's REALLY important here to realize how we sound and how we look like when we voice our frustrations on the matter; we sound and look just like all the misogynistic people over on Twitter who screams about "woke games" everytime there is a female protagonist in their "non political games". We have to remember that fandoms are suuuch a small part of the game industry

Baldur's Gate 3 recently shared their stats and this interesting tweet got into my dash

▶ tweet

Astarion is nowhere to be seen in the official most romanced companions statistic, but I'm sure a lot of people will agree that he's probably the most popular one in the fandom side!

Another stat here from Mass Effect and really interesting info coming from David Gaider about how the hardcore fanbase aka fandom's choices were WILDLY different from the casual / main player pool

▶ tweet

Getting my head out of the fandom bubbles and seeing the bigger picture, how much under-represented women still are in official medias (not talking about fan content) and how insanly misoginistic the game industry still is, both on the player and devs sides, helped me handle my own frustration on the matter, accept and even celebrate Female V being the focus for the Phantom Liberty campaign

With all that said tho, we all should be able to vent about the lack of Male, Masc and Non-Binary content in the fandom side, while still being aware of the industry state, it CAN co-exist! It doesn't make anyone a bad or misogynist person!

We are all humans and can be awkward and make mistakes, especially when voicing frustration or talking while in a negative mood. Let's educate one another in good-faithed manners when we slip instead of jumping to conclusion and throw accusations

Not gonna lie I kind of lost my train of thoughts and not sure how to finish this post, but I hope this can enlight some people on why CDPR made this choice!

Repeating this as a finale note; this doesn't mean that Female V is the "main" V or "canon" V . It's simply her time to shine, and it's well deserved! The industry needs it

[a-kinda-boring-writer]

🟧🟨⬜️🟦🟪Hey, there!🟧🟨⬜️🟦🟪

I'm not pro-ship nor anti or whatever. Both sides sound very silly to me. I frankly care very little about any of that discourse. May throw out some takes for shit and giggles, but I won't debate people on anything related to that. I just don't care enough. I'm only here for the funnies.

I can be a bit of a negative-nancy sometimes? So, like, expect me to have very critical takes about stuff on occasions. Oh and I'm a bit trigger happy when it comes to blocking. Just so you know <3.

Anyways... look at this cat! :D Not fully sure what to do with her character yet, but isn't she precious :3 (ignore what she has on her mouth 😉 don't worry about it 🙌)

(This is a commission I got from Sparklehounds. Go check her out!)

Also, I'm an adult (You should probably be one too if you're planning to keep reading any further 👇👇👇).

I write fanfics sometimes.

📖🐈Warrior cats fics!🐈📖

Rated between T-ish to M. Editing and spell-checking are against my religion lmao. And I think mildly suggestive humor is hilarious, so you'll find plenty of that in there, but no outright smut. They're still kinda boring, tho. And unnecessarily long. On the flip-side, there are lots of gay kitties in them too.

So... yeah. You'll find them here, if you wanna check them out, for whatever reason. Mind the tags, tho. PLEASE mind the tags.

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Getting into specifics, my main thing is a Power of Three in RiverClan AU/Rewrite. This includes:

-the Three being Feathertail/Crowfether kits, raised in RiverClan (duh) -Med cat Hollyleaf, Warrior Jayfeather, and Lionblaze... well, he's there too, doing his best. -a bunch of headcanons (both personal and popular fandom stuff) -community jokes taken seriously (exactly what it says on the tin) -complete lack of interest in making a "better" arc than the original, just the desire to have fun and explore whatever theme is in my head at the time. -actually, I kinda take the canon and make it worse tbh.

Here is the link to the series. Again, please, mind the tags. It gets heavy at times.

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Some one-shots I've written:

-And tender was the flesh: Hollyleaf being a cryptid and also a cannibal, but Cinderheart is into that. -Vamos a punguearle a esta vida amarreta un ramo de sueños: An AU of the RiverAU, in which Jayfeather and Pouncetail get their happily ever after. -Mercy is ruthlessness upon ourselves: Stonefur x Blackfoot. Sad and doomed old man yaoi 😔 -Heathertail's Harem: Pretty self-explanatory. The princess of WindClan gets her well-deserved harem 🙌. Not serious at all. -Why should we try to rebuild our broken bridge, if all we have is rotten wood?: This one is hard to explain. The jest of it is that Holly and Squilf try to reconnect after the former returns from the tunnels, but their relationship soon turns quite unhealthy. What I mean is Squilf x Holly. Sorry 😔😔😔.

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Also participating on the Year of the OTP 2025. I'm writing 12 one-shots featuring Frostdawn x Whistlebreeze! It's one per month and all of them will be here. Ratings and themes will vary substantially.

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And some WIP one-shots that I'm currently workshopping and/or working on include:

-Squirrelflight x Mothwing x Leafpool. (A soldier and a nun abandon their religion and become Farm Girls for pu-... for love, of course) -Lionblaze (PPD, yay!) -An epilogue for Ravensight (oc. He just keeps getting worse) -Mothwing x Icestar (Very old woman yuri) -Jayfeather x Kestrelflight (Bird bois deserve to be happy) -Leafstar x Firestar >>> Leafstar x Squirrelflight (bit unhealthy) -Tawnypelt x Nightcloud (fuck it) -Ivypool x Hollytuft (Complicated doesn't even begin to describe this) -There's a Ashfur Mpreg one too (that one is hard to explain...) - Something with Spottedleaf (it`s the ciiiiiircllleeee of... abuse...)

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That's all for now.

<3

[dominusumbrae]

“Non timebo malum. Non recuso tenebras. Non nego daemonem. (I will not fear evil. I do not refuse the darkness. I do not deny the demon.) You came seeking confession, child? Then kneel.”

[RP/Ask Blog | FTUT AU]

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TRIGGER WARNINGS: Child sexual abuse (CSA), Grooming, Religious trauma, PTSD, Dissociation and emotional numbness, Suicidal ideation, Name based identity trauma.

This AU is mostly influenced by my own trauma, therefore triggering topics will crop up. Non of these things will ever be graphically described, and if anything is described it will have a warning.

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(AU Info)

In this timeline, John Ward did not resist the evil that tore at his world. After the events of the 3rd ending of Chapter 3, something in him broke and something darker took root.

Rather than purging demons, he binds them to people. He performs anti-exorcisms, rituals that forcibly fuse demonic entities to those he deems as sinners, condemning them to an eternity of torment as divine justice. He believes that evil can be sanctified and warped into holy fire through, pain, bloodshed, and the acceptance of one’s sins. Where many see corruption, he sees purity through intervention.

John now walks a path of darkness through the light. Hes a priest cloaked in ash and flame, a heretic prophet who preaches that Hell is not just a punishment but a sacrament.

He does not seek redemption, nor does he offer that.

The only thing you’ll get from him is judgement.

Though…sometimes he offers mercy.

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(General Info)

° Name: John Thomas Ward (Though, he often uses the name Thomas)

° Aliases: Pater Fraxinus (Father Ash), Confessor of the Damned, Mirror Saint, Father Ward

° Age: 34

° Height: 6’2”

° Gender / Pronouns: Male | He/Him (he’s also been referred to as ‘it’ before)

° Sexuality: “Im divorced, if that means anything to you.” (Bisexual, male leaning)

° Affiliation: Independent (Excommunicated from the Church, they also believe him to be dead.), Technically Astaroth (inducted into the cult, helps out with cultists)

° Role: Anti-Exorcist / Demonic Cleric

° Alignment: Santicifed Evil / Lawful Evil (Very debatable, his practices bring nothing but eternal suffering though they are performed on evil people/people he deems unredeemable)

° Body Type: Gaunt, long-limbed, often mistaken for being ill (he is)

° Eyes: A deep shade of blue, usually bloodshot from his lack of sleep.

° Hair: Black (originally chocolate brown; dyed it to look different), straight, swept across, same hairstyle as in canon, only slightly more disheveled

° Voice: Calm, Soft, Unnervingly kind when he speaks of Hell and it’s demons

° Languages: English, Latin (fluent), Enochian (partial), Demonic dialects (channelled)

° Tattoos/Scars: His body is covered in different scars and sigils (reference at the end of this), a scar carved into the shape of the end of a key under his left eye

° Dominant hand: Right handed, but writes with his left during trances

° Weapon(s): A blackened iron crucifix with the figure of Christ inverted and weeping (this doesn’t repel demons but calls to them), A heavy iron censer on a chain with the thurible covered in hooked barbs (it’s filled with ash, brimstone, and dried blood), A blessed bone dagger carved into the shape of a key from the femur of a martyr, A gun with one bullet.

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References / Other info:

Admin is 16 (any nsfw jokes are made by friends / inside jokes between friends), Admin is also lazy and forgets to tag half his post LMAO

Admin also edits the gifs for this account ohhhhyeaaaaahhh

Ship Tom with whoever (Self inserts, OCs, Canon, Etc.) AS LONG AS THEY ARE OF AGE! HES 34!!

If anyone makes art if him pretty please tag me I’d love to see <3

[lovelywingsart]

Real Talk

-- Saren Arterius X Commander Shepard/OC (Transmasc Enby, They/Them) --

Part 2 to the little series I've started writing for them, and it took me... WAY too long :'D I like this one though, and was debating on writing an entire thing for the meetings with Illusive Man and the Council, but decided against it for now because I wanna focus on these two. But anyway, enjoy, I guess...!

(Noting, I'm... not sure how much more I'll actively WRITE for them like this, as much as I'd like to. Got alot going through mentally and... still almost want to limit my posting of them here in general. But we'll see.)

**You can find the Masterlist here!

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*Warnings?: Major anxiety, guilt, guilt tripping????, reliving and explanation of trauma, mini flashbacks, ghost pains, I really suck at warnings because Im tired please bear with me

Summary: Despite having no rest from the assignment prior, Cam takes the chance to talk to the best known secret of the galaxy- no matter what mental toll it may take.

‘We will decide his fate, not you. In the meantime, prepare him to speak with us immediately. If what you say is true, we will grant you time- You have until the moment you’re finished with your current assignments. Earlier if his state improves beforehand, but no later.’

The Councils words seemed to echo in the empty air as the communication signal cut out, over and over like an obnoxious bell tolling on the conscience of the only there to witness it.

Cam stood silently in the- now otherwise empty- meeting room, leaning against the table while staring at their dim reflection in the pale metal surface with the small glow of the holographic ship in the middle of it lighting the corner of their vision. Their mind raced with thoughts upon thoughts with the voices still fresh in their mind, too many to focus on as they attempted to wrap their head around… whatever the hell had just happened. They sure as fuck wouldn't have been able to explain it properly if asked, that was for damn sure.

While the meeting hadn't gone entirely terrible, it certainly could have gone… better- though even they knew ‘better’ had been a bit of a longshot of a hope given the information and situation at hand. They knew the Council still weren't their biggest fans despite saving them during the attack on the Citadel. Not since before the moment they opened their mouth during the initial meeting with Arterius those years ago, where they so much as dared question the lot of them before the suggestion was thrown out to make them a Spectre just to get it over with to investigate him and please Udina in one fell swoop. This seemed to lessen that view even farther, as expected- or perhaps strangely even raise it slightly, they couldn't tell. Between the disbelief of their claims, shock of their explanation, questioning and judgment of not killing him straight away, and yet appreciative for bringing it to attention before making any decision, they really didn't know what to think of the reactions of the trio. The asaris final words to them before cutting the comm both frustrated and worried them to some slight degree, not even getting a chance to speak much further. Though they admittedly weren't sure what worried them the most, the fact that there seemed to be an opening for explanation, or the fact that there was deliberation on further action when it came to Arterius specifically, when even they knew it normally would have ended as a simple ‘bring him in or execute immediately’ had it been anyone else.

He was once their favorite. Once the top and most feared Spectre in the galaxy, rivaled by very few, to the point where they refused to believe his betrayal at first even after lying to their faces with such confidence in knowing they'd believe him. At one point they swore the uptight trio would have bent over backwards at the knees and kissed his damn boots with how proudly up his ass they seemed… Which made it all the more satisfying when he was brought down and the trios ideals on him were shoved in their faces. But now, the only genuine confirmation of anything they had gotten was assuring his Spectre status wouldn't be reinstated- at least for the time being they imagined, depending on any further events and their reluctance to do so before- and an ominous speech simultaneously thanking and degrading them for taking him in. But somehow, some way, they felt as if there was still a lingering- yet begrudging- respect for the man and all he had done in his years of working for them, and quite frankly they weren't quite sure if that was good or bad.

The thought process shifted quickly.

Their meeting with Illusive Man beforehand hadn't fared much better, yielding even less results than that of the Council, even daring to claim no results whatsoever. There was no surprise. Not even a hint of concern about discovering Arterius in one of his facilities, which they quickly gathered to be somewhere the turian was taken purposely, but they couldn't figure out why- and the asshole dodged the question just as they had assumed he would. At the very least they had expected a bit of a fight given how much he considered them his ‘property’, but instead there was… nothing. He had simply made it seem as if it were a small detail seemingly forgotten about, as if it were no big deal that the one who nearly assisted in the death of the universe was brought back by his scientists, and simply suggested killing him as if it were as simple a task as getting rid of trash- though they supposed to him it pretty much was, with anything other than them being ‘out of his control’ and the ‘least of his worries’. Death would come to Arterius eventually, he said, but it wasn't something he cared to focus on. Either way, he was far more dismissive as usual, and it infuriated them more than it usually did.

They took a breath, swallowing down more nausea as their thoughts gathered more and more, and they knew thinking more would have made it worse than it was. It didn't help that they had gotten sick soon after returning, finally allowing the full panic attack they had been fighting. It had started to kick in mid conversation with Jacob, no less, who had thankfully done his job with little to no commentary- or so it seemed. They were lucky they hadn't puked right then and there while speaking to him about it… How they even kept it together for the meetings was a miracle in and of itself, really, though the consistent twisting of their stomach during such held emotion that was less than to be desired.

A few minutes passed as they stood, going over every detail once. Twice. Maybe five times until they were even remotely satisfied with leaving. It was only once they had settled with the next course of action that they finally pushed away from the table itself and turned to nearly stumble towards the door. 

It may have been early, but they needed to talk to him.

They exited the comm room quickly, straightening themself and keeping their head down while heading to the elevator with quick, even strides. They didn't even look up to hit the button to the crew deck once the doors slid open with a small hiss, leaning against the wall as they closed almost immediately. Their mind raced again, and they brought a hand up rub at their face.

How the fuck would they do this?? They could barely find the words standing in front of him with a gun, in what world could they have thought of a way to speak while unarmed? Not to mention the tests they had asked to run, though they hoped it had gone well given how long the meetings were and the fact that EDI hadn't interrupted with an emergency alert. There most likely wasn't much he would speak about, though they weren't sure if it would have been because of his mental or physical state- His voice already seemed mostly gone when he said their name upon the recognition, and all he had done since were give off sounds that made him seem more like an animal than a turian, even if they were sounds they had heard from turians around them depending on the situation- but in this case, it had been massively amplified. Hell, it could have easily been just like cornering a wild animal if they weren't careful… they still weren't sure of what he was still capable of, or if his own fight or flight response had shifted from Freeze and into Fight in the already somewhat short time he had been in the ship.

Their jaw tightened, and they took a wavering breath.

They HAD to try. They had to get him talking before the Council even had a chance to take away the opportunity.

They needed answers for their questions- especially the selfish ones.

They flinched as the elevator stopped and opened, though paused as they were met with… general silence. Perhaps some whispering among the few that remained in the area and eyes most definitely on them as soon as they stepped out, but otherwise silent. Somehow the silence didn't make it any better. They looked around to meet the faces of some of the human crewmembers, moving their head as if to dare them to speak. The staredown continued for only a second as the others slowly looked away, and they managed to breathe just slightly before their gaze finally fell on the medbay window and caught the gaze of Garrus. He stood watch at the window with his arms crossed and body angled in preparation to move, ready to step in at a moments notice if needed. They held their breath as he shifted his head to nod towards the window once he met their eyes, and they stiffly made their way forward.

They could feel eyes on them again as they moved, though ignored it as they stopped next to him and looked into the medbay, themself. They could see Chakwas typing furiously and uncomfortably at her console with clear attempts to finish what she was doing as soon as possible, and a glance over to the far corner showed the pale turian curled up behind a bed, pressed against the wall and majorly out of view. Probably to prevent from being stared at like a circus animal, they thought- or even to get away from the doctor herself.

“How'd it go with the Council?” Garrus asked, breaking their thoughts while keeping his eyes on the turian in the corner of the room. Cam was silent for a moment before sighing. 

“They're giving me until we’re done with this shit to prepare him to meet with them.” They replied quietly. “Earlier if I can help it… wasn't really given a final verdict otherwise and the only confirmation of anything was a current non-reinstatement of Spectre status.”

He shook his head slightly in what seemed like mild disappointment, but gave a huff. 

“What about Illusive Man?” he snorted in a near insulting tone, and they did the same. 

“Jack shit nothing with no sense of empathy, as per usual. Dodging questions with a suggestion to just kill him thrown on top.”

Garrus shrugged, though his mandibled twitched.

“He wasn't surprised you found his pet experiment?” he offered, and they shot him a look.

“It takes one to find one.” They said simply, and they watched his shoulders shift uncomfortably as his breath halted for just a moment.

“... Sorry.” He mumbled, and they shook their head with a sigh.

“How did Karin take it…?” They asked, attempting to change the subject slightly- only slightly enough to get the focus of that conversation. He glanced at them.

“About as well as you'd expect with her…” he replied, almost mildly amused. “Shrugged off any explanation at the time in favor of promising to chew you out, but she's been running the tests you asked for. Still not sure why you wanted them, but she did.” He nodded to her through the glass. “I think she's looking at the results now, she's been taking notes like mad.”

“Good.” Cam said, stepping forward closer to the window. They slowly lifted a hand, knocking their knuckle gently against the glass with three gentle taps. They watched as both the doctor and Saren jumped, though only Chakwas turned to look with her head snapping towards them quicker than they had ever seen. There were emotions on her face within a split second that they couldn't quite place once she saw them, and it made yet another pit settle in their stomach. She only took a moment to glance towards the turian before hurriedly shuffling her work in order, standing, speaking a few words to him and nearly running to the door.

They couldn't help but flinch at the hiss of the sliding doors, turning to face her as she rounded the corner even before the doors could even fully close and nearly bracing themself as she stopped less than a foot in front of them. They opened their mouth to speak- as if even attempting to defend themself was a good idea at the moment- but was stopped instantly as she spoke first.

“Please forgive me for the tone Commander, but are you mad??” she asked in a harsh whisper.

“That's what I said…” Garrus mumbled, though held up his hands in small defense as he earned a look from the both of them.

“Zip it Vakarian, it's getting handled.” Cam shot back quietly, and he shrugged with a small grumbling trill before looking back. They glanced at the glass with him for a moment before clearing their throat lightly and turning back to Chakwas.

“It was a rough decision I had to make with the information known and given at the time…” they replied quietly, taking her arm and huddling her close as if to prevent anyone from hearing- and honestly they kinda were. “Probably a really fuckin’ stupid one, but it's a bit too late to take it back.”

“I'll say…!” She replied, gesturing to the window. “I suppose I should be used to crazy things when it comes to you, but this is by far one of the worst.” she frowned. “What were you thinking, Cambry?? That this could possibly just blow over with no issues??”

Cam sighed, lifting an arm to run a hand through their hair.

“I know, I know… I just… I don't know.” They tried, glancing into the room again. “I can't explain it… I just…” their voice quieted even more, “... I couldn't do it, Karin. I couldn't kill him again. I know what he did and what we went through but I…”

Chakwas was silent for a moment as they trailed off before sighing, taking a few breaths to calm herself and reaching to pat their shoulder gently.

“I can't quite say I understand, but I have a feeling it's something that only you can...” She said quietly, and Cam nodded.

“Cerberus did something.” They whispered. “I don't know what, or even how, but… he's like me. That bastard pretty much confirmed it to my face, so to speak.”

“Given his state of being I remember you describing, I would imagine it wasn't easy…” Chakwas said, and they nodded.

“He was a test run.” They crossed their arms, picking somewhat at their hoodie. “Something they started pretty soon after the attack on the Citadel… I guess he had some of his people infiltrate the area and grab what they could, DNA-wise… I mean, his blood was everywhere, so it’s possible…” they shook their head. “But I don’t… I don't understand why him… Why was he the original test tube subject? Why focus on him of all people…?”

“And I will assume the Illusive Man didn't answer that…?”

Cam couldn't stop the unamused snort they let out.

“Since when does he answer anything in a straight way??” They asked, and even Chakwas shrugged.

“Unfortunately I couldn't answer that…” she sighed, and nodded towards the room. “But what is done is done, and I doubt there's much we can do about it at this very moment.”

“... yeah… I know.” they replied, taking a sudden wavering breath. “But… I… I need to try and talk to him…”

Chakwas nodded. 

“I'd appreciate the explanation, but Shepard…” she nodded to the glass. “Are you sure…? Garrus told me you weren't doing very well once you arrived back-”

“I'm fine.” They interrupted quietly. They looked at her again, a near pleading and desperate look on their face. “Even if I wasn't, I need to... The Council wants to meet with him when we’re done with all this Collector shit, and I need answers before they have the chance to prevent that… He could know something that could help us somehow.”

The doctor was silent for a moment, her eyes searching their features. She seemed to think before giving a light sigh.

“Naturally I do need to advise against it for what I hope are obvious reasons, otherwise I wouldn't be doing my job…” she then offered a light, somewhat sad smile. “But I can't really stop Commander Shepard now, can I…?”

Cam was quiet for a moment before letting out a near relieved breath. They managed a small, somewhat relaxed smile.

“Not really… But the warning is appreciated.” They replied, and looked back to the room. “Before I go in, what did the test results look like for him…?”

Chakwas nodded before following their gaze, crossing her arms lightly.

“He quite obviously doesn't pass with flying colors, but he's… ‘stable’, to put it rather simply.” She said, nodding to the bed behind him. “He's been ‘hiding' since he was brought in, but was surprisingly majorly cooperative.” she paused for a moment. “... Except for touch. He doesn't seem to enjoy the prospect of it despite allowing the bare minimum of what I asked, though given the possibilities of what those scientists put him through, I suppose I could understand.”

Cam flinched for a moment, but nodded. They knew all too well.

“Physical and mental?”

“Physically he's alright, from what I could tell. It isn't easy to perform those tests on a turian in full armor, but his heart rate is normal and nothing seems to be wrong with his lungs or limbs.” She shrugged, though shook her head with a small frown. “Mentally, however…” she lowered her voice slightly, “Normally I'd suggest medication to assist with the symptoms he's showing… though I'll admit I'm hesitant with him.”

“Symptoms?”

“Exhibiting severe anxiety and hints of a post traumatic disorder and delirium.” She explained simply. “He doesn't seem to realize where he is, and if he does, he's too afraid to accept it. As much as I could try to treat him like a conscious being, I would liken it to dealing with an abused animal who was blindfolded and transferred to the next facility without its knowledge...”

“Yeah, he was… confused when I found him, but coherent.” Cam mentioned. “Damn near took my head off twice with a bullet but just… froze when I was face-to-face. Said one thing and then turned almost feral.”

“It's like his brain was scrambled and just barely reprogrammed.” She confirmed.

With that Cam sighed, though began to walk to the door. Scrambled or not, they had to try.

“You can think Illusive for that.” They mumbled, reaching the door, though pausing as they felt a gentle hand on their shoulder. They turned to see Chakwas close behind, a genuine look of concern on her features. It made them freeze in place for a moment.

“Please, be careful…” She said quietly. “I'd still consider him highly unpredictable even if he was cooperative, and forcing an answer right now may not be in anyone's best interest…”

Cams breath halted for a moment at her words, the serious tone catching them mildly off guard- but they soon nodded and took a breath.

“I know.” They replied simply, and Chakwas returned the nod while backing away from them.

“Alright. We'll be out here if you need us… I'll try to keep Garrus in check for you.”

That admittedly made them smile just slightly, which had clearly been the goal as the doctor did the same.

“Thanks…” they said, finally turning away and stepping towards the doors.

They held their breath as they got close enough for the automated system to open them with another hiss, and their jaw tightened. They stepped in the room slowly, their head on a swivel for a few moments to take in their surroundings. One quick glance around revealed the pale turian huddled in the far corner barely-but-not-really sticking out among the greyish silver tones of the room itself, stark white spines and fringe angled in such a way that told them his head was down,  and the lower set armor along the edge of his carapace adding an extra layer of vulnerability with partially exposed plates at the back of his head- but his shoulders bunched higher and tighter as the door closed, and they knew within an instant that they had to be careful. The last thing they needed was a biotic shock if he had been released from the cuffs or a nasty bite if he hadn't- perhaps that was something they needed to ask Chakwas to check out at a later date if time was given.

They began to walk forward slowly, keeping a close eye on him for any movement they may have needed to be prepared for- even if it was small. The closer they got, the more they felt the anxious nausea from before grow once more, twisting at their stomach and threatening bile in their throat. About halfway in the room is when they paused fully, taking in what they could with the closer proximity- 

They could see the pale plated scales along the back of his head and neck, their brow furrowing in what they figured was a mild pity as they recognized the blue-ish scarring that rendered the usually solid plates cracked and vulnerable, revealing softer flesh and a harsh reminder of what he had been before. They shivered with a small memory of the metallic plates and wiring that had been attached before to leave such scars, wondering if the rest of the cybernetics had left scarring. Why hadn't Cerberus tried to fix it like they offered for them? Did they not give the option? Not able to? Or to simply exhibit more control than they already did?

Another flash of pain to their own neck in memory, and they flinched.

They could feel the eyes of Chakwas and Garrus through the glass as they began to move forward again, shifting to the far side of the room closer to the doctors desk and knocking on it lightly to give away their presence. He flinched, but said nothing- only a soft warble, just barely loud enough for them to hear was their only signal to approach. A few more steps further forward was all they had been comfortable enough to move, standing across from where he had curled. It was as close to the fetal position as he could get, ankles crossed and face buried into his arms that wrapped around his knees…

He looked… small. He FELT small. There was no energy from him to suggest otherwise… Right now he was simply small, scared and broken, and it was obvious to anyone that had laid eyes on him.

They watched him for a moment, swallowing just slightly. Well, that answered the question of the cuffs being off or not.

“... Chakwas told me the tests went well…” they started quietly- almost awkwardly- while crossing their arms over their chest as they leaned back against the wall. They watched his head shift slightly in acknowledgment, though didn't fully look at them. At least he was somewhat receptive, maybe this wouldn't be a complete disaster after all…

Maybe.

They continued.

“I uh… I appreciate you listening. For not giving her an issue.” They mumbled, their tone reflecting that awkwardness. “She told me it was kinda difficult, but things look… uh… good… She'll try not to use any touch-based tests next time though, I guess. Said you had a problem with it.”

They only sighed as he said nothing still, only seeing him twitch at the mention of touch. They reached up to rub the bridge of their nose.

Ok, maybe this WOULD be a bit more difficult… They needed to get him talking.

“Look, Arterius…” they said, hiding the mild frustration they began to feel with the rising anxiety. They lowered their hand to cross their arms again. “The Council knows you're here and they want to speak with you.”

They paused for a moment as he lifted his head with a flinch to finally look at them, eyes dulled with emotion they could barely tell from where they were standing. They ignored the lurch of their stomach from the gaze of the ice blue before they continued.

“I've got some time to ‘prepare’ you for it, but not much. Need to make sure you're somehow mentally well enough to speak with them and probably defend yourself, because I don't think they were too happy. And in that time, I'm still getting the answers I need from you.” They spoke confidently, hiding any slivers of the uncomfortable feeling that crept up their spine. “I need to know everything you know about any of this, and…” they paused before taking a breath. “... maybe I can answer some questions too.”

Saren was quiet, though slowly lifted his head a bit more as he watched them. It sent that uncomfortable feeling back down with a shiver, memories flickering back and forth, back and forth. Blue replaced with violet white. Whole replaced with mangled. Alive replaced with… whatever that thing was. Not alive, but not dead, power surges everywhere, the pain-

They closed their eyes for a second to fight off the visions, taking a deep breath before meeting his gaze again.

His eyes shifted along their form, searching as if deciding on if it would be safe to even attempt to speak. Even his nose visibly shifted, scrunching and relaxing with each breath. Scenting for danger or friendly. Using the only two senses he could safely at the current moment. They watched his mandible twitch for a moment before his jaw shifted, and he glanced around the room before looking back at them.

“... Where…” he managed, his voice rough. Cam flinched, chewing on the inside of their cheek. But he knew that already-

Just how scrambled was his brain??

“... The Normandy.” They answered simply, an air of caution to their voice. “Currently traveling and on route to the next assignment to help a… friend.” they gestured around slightly. “And if you mean ‘where’ as in for here specifically, this room, this is the med bay. It's where Dr. Chakwas works and where you'll be staying until you're somehow deemed fit to be moved… IF you're fit to be moved.”

He seemed to process for a few moments, looking around again before slowly nodding and lowering his gaze to the floor in front of him. They watched, staying silent as scarred mandibles twitched in thought before he spoke again.

“... What… happened…”

They narrowed their eyes slightly. 

“... How much do you remember?” They asked carefully, and he seemed to think again. His mandibles shifted, this time gyrating in slow circles as his facial plates shifted.

“I… don't know…” he spoke slowly, his voice quiet. He seemed to work through his thoughts as he talked, they noticed. “Perhaps… Maybe the Citadel… speaking with you… too much noise… so loud everywhere, too many voices… And then…”

He trailed off, shifting his head and flinching at the memory. They did the same, sucking in a breath- the sound of the gun going off in their mind, staining the air with blue blood. A small wave of shattered biotic energy from his body. The sight of him collapsing. Sounds of glass breaking and their own screaming-

“... darkness.” He finished finally, looking at them again. “Darkness, silence and red lightning…” his brow plates scrunched in mild confusion. “And still… you.”

They couldn't stop their small jerk of surprise at his words.

Wait… Wait, but he was DEAD at that point-

“Me??” They asked, their own confusion evident. He nodded. “What do you mean me?”

His brow plates shifted again, confusion shifting to concern and mild frustration, and then back to confusion.

“I don't… I don't know...” He replied, his voice quiet once more. “It… It's… not ‘clear’… has never been clear since waking… I suspect it won't be for… quite a while.”

They frowned. They couldn't tell if he genuinely couldn't remember or if he wasn't even trying, but it was certainly more than they thought they'd get out of him in the first place. They made a mental note to push for more later.

“Anything before all of that…?” they asked.

He paused again.

“... There are… pieces… I can't-” he tried, only to stop speaking suddenly with a soft trill. They could see a hint of realization in his face as his features fell. His mandibles twitched in thought and his breaths quickened just slightly. They froze as he suddenly looked at them again, his expression that of mild distress.

“... Nihlus is…” he tried, though couldn't seem to finish. There was an odd pitch in his vocals they couldn't quite place, though the only thing they could equate it to was a nervous hope overtaken by the distress he so obviously felt.

Their breath halted.

He didn't…

Fuck.

“... Dead.” They replied quietly, keeping back the small rush of rekindled anger.

They watched as his face slowly shifted again with the confirmation, from surprise, to realization, to horror, to more distress, and then finally a pained sorrow within mere seconds.

“... how did-”

“You murdered him.” They said simply yet quietly, though couldn't help but mentally kick themself as he flinched hard at the immediate response. Their muscles tensed as they watched his hands shift on his own arms, fingers flexing ever so slightly with a light tremble.

“But… I thought…” he seemed to struggle with his words, both out of panic and the tenseness of his voice which trembled much like his hands. “I aimed for-”

Cam shook their head, stopping him.

“You shot him in the back of the head, Saren.” They said simply, unable to stop the small sorrow from entering their own voice. He shook his own head in more disbelief, eyes wide.

“N-No, I-”

“Yes, you did.” They interrupted him again, fighting off the new anger that began to rise in their chest as they got just slightly louder. “He let his guard down and you shot him in the back of the head. I know because helped call in the body and there was a witness to you doing it, as much of a lazy dunce as he was.” They tapped their arm irritably, if only to fight the feeling of their skin prickling from a change in the air they just barely caught. “You killed him in cold blood.. You murdered someone who you called a friend-”

“He wasn't-” he snapped, cutting them off with a harsh hiss of vocals that made them flinch and take a small step away- but he paused, seeming to catch his own tone quickly.

They froze as he shifted, watching as he suddenly shook his head and lifted his arms to rub his face with his hands that held a faint glow that disappeared as quickly as they had seen it. That explained the air; they were surprised they couldn't tell the feeling of the biotics immediately- one small inhale and the gentle burning smell of eezo confirmed it.

There was a moment of silence as they watched him carefully, ready to bolt out the door and get backup, only to grow confused as he let out a grumbling trill before taking a wavering breath. His hands trembled once more, and he screwed his eyes shut.

“He wasn't… a friend…” he tried, voice strained as if it pained him to admit it. They frowned. But that wasn't-

“At the meeting you said-” they started, but he shook his head again.

“N-... No… not a friend... He was-...” he trailed off for a moment, his breaths quickening in mild panic. He fought for words before simply and suddenly looking at them, icy eyes wide and bright with a gut wrenching sadness they had never seen from a turian before. It caught them slightly off guard enough to lower their arms as they met his gaze, though it didn't take long for the realization to occur albeit slow coming-

Not a friend, but-

… oh.

They held that gaze for a moment before he finally broke it with small lurch of the head and a trilling whine, one that slipped from his throat though he clearly attempted to force back by clamping a hand over his mouth. He curled back into himself, breaths quick and almost wheezing with the gentle heartbeat pulses of his biotics lessening every passing second. Another second and he slumped over against the wall, his shoulders drooping almost instantly. It seemed to be half panic attack and half giving up, and Cam was silent as the initial hit settled in their brain.

“... you killed your own partner…” They nearly whispered, a hint of the horrified recognition in their voice. He flinched hard again, though this time it led into a small trembling of shoulders.

Saying it made it so much worse.

More silence as they let the information sink in further, and suddenly they felt… distress. Distress and a growing nausea that forced them to move, turning slightly as if to start pacing and leaning more on the desk with their hand to hold themself up properly. They brought the other hand up to rub their face, managing to take a few calming breaths.

Sure, he was under Sovereigns control, yet he still pulled the trigger and admitted it… But the reaction to it was far more than they could have expected, especially coming from him. Though the worst part was, even they knew he wasn't faking it, recognizing the all too familiar wheezes and attempts to regain some sort of control over the body as they had gone through, themself. 

It was almost painful to watch, much less listen to, and their nausea grew. 

“... You… You expect me to pity you…?” They managed, their voice cracking just slightly. They couldn't stop the hint of cold rage in their words, feeling the new flinch he gave even while facing away from him. But their position didn't last long, shifting on their feet and turning to look back at him.

“Do you expect any pity from anyone now?” they added, only to be surprised as he shook his head almost instantly as the words left their mouth before they had a chance to regret them. 

“... No...” He replied, his own voice a cracking breath.

It was clear that bit of information was what had broken down the last of whatever walls he had up, as if he had any in the first place now.

They quiet for a moment once more, fighting off the urge to puke. It wasn't exactly the immediate thing they had wanted to bring up, nor did they feel too incredibly proud for doing so… in fact, they did feel the smallest pity, and even the tiniest regret.

They stared at him before shaking their head.

“... I… I'm… Sorry…” they nearly whispered, leaning back against the desk and reaching to rub their face. “I'm sorry.”

He didn't reply. He didn't even move, his hand staying over his mouth and legs slack as he stayed curled. His breathing remained staggered as they collected their own thoughts, their body trembling as they took their own deep breath to attempt to calm it.

They still had questions… they couldn't stop now. Not while he was speaking somewhat openly, despite the state he was currently in.

If they were good at anything, it was pushing forward.

“... Why are you with Cerberus.” they asked simply, their voice quiet. He kept his gaze down, eyes dull and defeated.

“... I’m… not…” he tried, and they shifted their jaw to chew the inside of their cheek for a moment. Well, to be fair, neither were they… but maybe that wasn't the right way to word it.

“… Let me rephrase…” they started again, speaking slowly. “Why did they remake you? WHEN did they?”

One mandible twitched under his fingers,working through his words again.

“I'm... I'm not… sure…” he mumbled, vocals a hollow hum with his gaze distant. “One moment there was pain… and then… nothing…” He shook his head slightly again, “In the next moment I was awake, and there was…”

He paused for a moment. He shivered slightly, though they couldn't tell if it was what memory he had or shaking himself back into the current reality, albeit somewhat disturbed.

“... There was silence…”

Cam flinched at the whisper, keeping their eyes on him. 

“What do you mean by ‘silence’?” they asked carefully, and he shook his head again.

“No others… no… no voices…” he trailed off, his own voice but a whisper as he spoke. “No more speaking in my mind…” he looked at them. “... It always spoke...”

They stared at him. Of course they knew he had been talking about the Reaper, though the thought of it whispering into someone's mind so often was… unsettling… The almost haunted look in his eyes made it worse, seperate from the new grief.

Not to mention they had witnessed the same thing. The voices were something that had followed them into nightmares, especially recently, distinctly remembering the feeling of knowing their mind wasn’t their own for even a few moments. It was maddening, even if only temporary while in the vicinity-

Knowing they could barely handle those few moments around a simple artifact, they couldn't imagine living with it for so long and so frequently with the full thing.

Cam remained silent, though managed to take a breath. It had never quite occurred to them what he had lived with until recently, and speaking to him now seemed to prove that point tenfold. 

Another question came to mind as they thought, as uncomfortable as thinking about it was-

“... How long?” They asked cautiously, watching his reactions carefully. “How long did you hear the voices?”

He seemed to pause, his shoulders going rigid.

“... Years.” he croaked. “Many… Many years.”

The reply was nearly inaudible, but they swallowed down their growing unease as he went silent once more.

That explained it.

They could almost feel the eyes on them from the other side of the glass behind them, stares burrowing into their back. One glance over showed Garrus and Chakwas talking amongst themselves with eyes on them, but much like their own conversation was unheard from the outside, they too had no clue what was being said from inside. But even so, the looks on their faces said quite a bit about the conversation at hand, and Cam sighed. They were surprised the two hadn't come in after them by now, to be honest. 

They were suddenly jerked out of their thoughts as Saren spoke again.

“... It was never stopped, was it…” he spoke quietly, and they couldn't stop the uncomfortable shiver that traveled up their spine.

They didn't even need to ask what he meant.

“... Briefly...” They replied, their own voice equally as quiet. “We're unsure of what their plan is now, but I know it has something to do with the Collectors, which is why finding you of all people in a Cerberus facility overrun by them was a little more than suspicious for reasons other than the obvious… Moreso because we were purposely sent out by the grand bastard himself.”

“I told you I don't work for or with them-”

“I know that-” they interrupted quickly, and he flinched. They paused for a moment before lowering their voice. “... But you need to understand the situation we're in right now...” They added lightly. “I need to make sure nothing is gonna fuck us over while we get the information we need, and unfortunately I don't really have much of a choice other than trusting you right now given you're on my ship.” they frowned, “Even more unfortunately, right now I trust you about as far as I can throw you, which isn’t really helping your case. You being physically right here is the only thing currently saving your ass from being yet another dummy for target practice for those of us who survived.”

The pale turian went quiet again, mandibles twitching. Cam sighed again, reaching to pinch the bridge of their nose.

“... Look…” they started, hearing the gentle shift as his head turned towards them ever so slightly. “I hate this. I hate the Collectors, hate the Reapers, and I definitely hate Cerberus. I hate Illusive Man and what he's done, and I hate that everyone thinks I work for him because he ‘funded’ this. He sent us into a fucking trap, and nearly got his precious lapdogs killed because he thought hiding was a better idea than just telling us.” They gestured around them as he looked at them again. “He thinks I owe him my goddamn life since they ‘rebuilt’ me, and clearly he doesn't give a fuck about you despite doing the same. And one way or another, I'm gonna figure out what the fuck his plan is in all this and take him down, too.”

There was a sudden warbling noise as Sarens head jerked back in a small, stunned surprise while they spoke, eyes widening just enough for them to know they had caught him off guard.

“... What… what do you mean by… ‘rebuilt’...??” He questioned cautiously, and they shook their head.

“It’s… It’s a long story, I guess, but… I… ‘died’ two years ago. We got caught up in a Collector attack, and they just… destroyed the old ship, and I stayed behind to make sure everyone got out.” They couldn’t help the light trembling in their hand as they reached to rub the back of their neck, their grip tightening slightly over the scar. The memory was a rough one, and it made their body ache in its entirety.

“Cerberus found my body and… rebuilt me. Somehow.” They explained more, shrugging as they did. “Same thing they did for you, I think, but I don't know exactly how considering you fucking disintegrated, or even why they rebuilt you specifically.” They attempted to ignore the look of sudden fear-guilt on his face as they met his eyes. “That's what I'm trying to figure out, and why I need you to tell me what you know so I can figure out what he has planned, if anything...” they shifted their arms to shove their hands into their pockets. “The more we know, the better chance we’ll have to survive any of this… We’ll get to your history with the Council later..”

He flinched at the last words and looked down again in near shame- yet remained silent. They let out a huff.

“I know it's a lot, but right now I need you to start talking.” Their tone was more demanding now, with a small edge of desperation. “Do you know why the hell he chose you?”

They were met with continued silence, watching him carefully. He didn't move for a few moments before letting out a grumbling sigh and shifting, and they couldn't help the cold shot of fear that ran through their body as he began to move entirely. His movements were rigid and testing, slowly uncurling from his position on the floor. He was careful and hesitant in his movements, as if testing the stability of his own muscles, reaching to grip onto the raised edges of the wall to stand. Cam took a few trembling steps back as he stood fully, shifting his legs to stretch them, though simply turning to face them and leaning back against the wall. His body visibly trembled as he kept his balance, and despite his height, he still seemed small. He kept his gaze to the floor, avoiding eye contact.

“I… cannot answer that.” He said quietly, and their jaw shifted in mild frustration despite the fear. If he could stand, he could lunge.

They heard blood rushing through their ears as their pulse quickened, ready to run and signal the others once more- they could almost feel the tension on the other side of the glass as well, just waiting for the moment to snap. 

“What-” they started, though he shook his head with a snort to stop them.

“What I mean is… I don't know.” he said, and they frowned. He hugged his arms slightly, gloved talons squeezing and pulling at his own armor as if it constricted him.

“I told you… All I remember was the darkness after the pain, and then… waking up.” He explained, his mandibles pressed tightly to his jaw and his voice strained. He had already talked so much, they were surprised he still could and was willing to keep going. “I was never given an explanation, and it is utterly ridiculous to believe they thought I deserved one... Only poked and prodded by those wretched beings, so-called ��doctors’ and ‘scientists’ from the moment I opened my eyes… Opening my eyes was the most I could do at times despite the urge to tear them apart…”

“... And they kept you sedated enough to where you couldn't fight back no matter what you did.” Cam added quietly, and he nodded.

“Precisely.”

He looked up at them, and they froze again. There was a small fear-hatred in his eyes with brow plates scrunched to share the emotion, though the gaze seemed almost… distant. Distant enough to where they wondered for a moment if any of those emotions had been aimed towards them, though the light flutter of mandibles proved quickly that that wasn't the case. They realized the meaning within seconds as his head lowered closer to the front of his armor- It was a hatred they knew all too well, recognizing it from the few years prior and one they had realized long ago that they shared to an extent, especially in their own time at the lab. They admittedly still shared it even now, though currently his own was to a slightly lesser degree and far more focused as they seemed to read his gaze-

The hatred for humanity.

“No one spoke to me, only to each other and often out of range.” he started, gloved talons digging into his arms- they were sure he would have shredded the skin to the bone had they been bare. “Only referring to me as simply as some sort of… creature or experiment. Not nearly close to being regarded as a living being. Subduing me consistently, only allowing brief moments of consciousness…” he continued, growing more and more agitated with each word- but suddenly that agitation paused, replaced with a flash of confusion and the amplified fear. “And yet… Once I was ‘shipped out’, so to speak… I obeyed. I followed every command I was given, attempted to execute every action they expected of me...” he shook his head, keeping his gaze on theirs as his facial plates shifted into the smallest concern with the confusion.

“Even the one to eliminate anything in that facility… you and your… team included.”

Cam stared at him, nearly slack jawed as he spoke- It most certainly wasn’t the explanation they expected, nor was it the one they were even close to being prepared to hear. Another rush of anxiety fueled nausea hit them, nearly causing them to double over and gag- but they simply moved to grip the table behind them to stay upright, their muscles beginning to tremble. Their thoughts ran wild, a storm in their mind that couldn’t give a straight answer or coherent thought- but on question came to mind after a few moments-

“... Who gave that order…” they asked, their voice nearly cracking as they whispered. His mandibles twitched again in recognition of their fear before flaring out for a brief second as he shook his head.

“I don't know.” He replied simply. “But I can only assume it’s the one you call ‘Illusive Man’.”

They couldn't stop the small stumble as they took a step away, keeping a nearly white knuckled grip on the table. But they managed to catch themself, leaning back entirely while fighting for control of their breathing.

He was definitely trying to kill them, even an idiot could have guessed… And his confirmation of potential origin didn’t quite make it any better-

But why had his shots missed? Why had he simply wasted ammo?

They took a wavering breath.

“... You missed…” they started, their breaths quickening. “You… You were the best Spectre in the galaxy, and you had orders… And you missed three targets.” They shook their head. “I heard you… After you shot at me and missed, and then you stopped trying entirely... Why…??”

He seemed to pause again, blinking slowly in thought as if attempting to figure out the solution, himself. But they took a step towards him, pushing away from the desk while keeping their eyes on his.

“WHY, Arterius??” They asked again with small urgency, watching as he shuffled back away from them as far as he could against the wall. He gripped his arms tighter.

“... I… I don't know… I don’t know.” he replied quietly, his voice wavering with repeated words. “I didn't… recognize you at first, not until you faced me entirely, but…” one of his hands moved as if to reach out, though paused as soon as he let go of his arm, as if it would have meant death if he so much as shifted a finger towards them. He went quiet in a moment of deliberation, as if he were fighting something else in his mind.

“... Something… Something greater than their petty mind games told me not to.”

Cam said nothing for a moment, their breaths halted entirely. Something… greater? What kind of ‘greater’?? Even he had said his mind had been quiet since he had awakened, no sign of the Reapers voices, how did-

He shook his head as if reading their mind.

“Before you ask… It has remained silent thus far, other than what I believe are my own thoughts, for the first time in years...” He said quietly, though tilted his head somewhat thoughtfully. “... I suppose… you might call it a ‘gut feeling’.”

They kept their eyes on him before finally allowing themself to take a breath, and his gaze fell back to the floor in front of him as they finally backed away again.

“... Believe me or not, Shepard…” he continued, mandibles fluttering just slightly before pressing back to his jaw. “But for once… I speak the truth. That is all I know at the current moment until more memory returns to me.” He glanced up at them, eyes tired and dulled. It was obvious it had taken quite a bit of mental power to keep speaking for as long as he had, especially about the topic at hand, and even they thought the man simply wanted to sleep for a week… Something they, quite frankly, felt the same about.

They kept their silence before finally looking away from him entirely. Despite his struggle to speak, it was far more information all together than they had thought they’d get out of him before they had stepped foot into the room, and their head began to throb with an oncoming migraine. He tilted his own head just slightly once more as they reached up to rub theirs with a light groan, but said nothing. Instead, he simply shifted back into the corner, slowly sliding down against the wall to sit back in his place behind the small bed. He pulled his legs up to his chest, returning to his original position with a trilling huff, though it sounded almost… sad.

“... I’m sorry to disappoint you.” he mumbled, and they looked up at him again. They searched for words as he hugged his knees and returned his head to his arms, settling it along his forearms in a way that kept his face visible but hid any other emotion that dared attempt to seep out.

And just like that, he had closed off again, and they knew they wouldn’t get much else from him.

“... No… No, I…” they started, earning a sideways glance. “It’s… It’s fine. If anything I should be… thanking you, I guess, as ridiculous as it is at this point…” They shook their head. “So… thanks. For answering my questions, I mean. I shouldn’t have expected you to remember that much.”

He nodded slightly.

“... I almost wish to not remember… But I fear memory will return to me in time.” he spoke, voice now nearly a whisper. They gave a light sigh.

“If it does… You need to tell me everything you know.” they replied quietly. “Now matter how fucking painful it is, Saren, I need to know. Especially if it concerns Illusive bastard… It may be the key to get out of this shit alive.”

He nodded again.

“... Understood…”

“Good…”

They took another breath, and finally- finally- allowed themself to relax ever so slightly. He had fallen silent again, closing his eyes with a small, sorrowful rumble. There wasn’t much more they could ask right now, they knew, though moreso to save his own voice and brain from the strain of forced thinking. While he had answered the main questions at hand- rather openly, at that- they still had more. Questions that he wouldn’t remember for some time they thought, and even attempting to keep prying would been a repetitive and moot point.

They rubbed their head again, trying to force down the still growing migraine. It was only when they finally registered the eyes on them from behind the glass once more that they moved, turning fully in place to see the doctor and Garrus  visibly on edge and damn near ready to walk in. They knew any longer in here and the two would have done exactly that.

They sighed and pushed away from the table again, this time to back away and walk towards the door.

“I told Chakwas to keep running tests… If you remember anything when she’s here, tell her, and she’ll grab me. You don’t have to say a damn word to her otherwise.” they said quietly as they walked, earning a gentle huff. But they paused for a moment before reaching the door panel, one final thought coming to mind.

There was one more thing they needed to know- something they had a sinking feeling he would know the full answer to.

“... Saren…” they started quietly, and they could hear a small shift of armor. They looked back to see his head turned slightly towards them in acknowledgment, and they took another breath.

“... About… About Nihlus…” they started, nearly fighting for words. “... Why did you even aim…?”

They watched him freeze, though it was clear he understood.

“... I…” He started, though let out a wavering breath. “... I believe… Part of me was still… there. Still… ‘cared’, so to speak… but only for him. Sovereign couldn’t take him away, no matter how hard it tried.” He paused for a moment before returning his head back to where it was on his arms. “I suppose I thought… incapacitation would save him from the visions and the horrors it had shown me… As if I had already known an explanation wouldn't work, much as it didn't for you.”

“So… you just wanted to maim him to save him…” they managed, though their tone was mildly confused. “You know he probably would have ratted you out eventually when he was healed… Would it have been worth the risk to just… let him go instead of aiming in general?”

Saren shook his head slightly.

“Not with the visions…” he nearly whispered. “As I had said before, you saw them, too. I believed if I could have put him down temporarily, he would have been spared from the fight… And hopefully from the machines.” 

Cam nodded slowly in attempts to understand.

“... And you weren’t worried about what he would have thought of you after that?”

He paused again, though his voice lowered more to the point where they needed to strain their own ears to hear-

“... If incapacitating him for a time meant he would despise me even in my own death, yet would continue to live beyond my years, then I would believe I had made the right choice.”

They were silent at the admittance, the harsh pang of pained sorrow in his subvocals obvious enough for them to pick up on. They shifted their jaw slightly, grinding their teeth and feeling a light sting at the corners of their eyes.

“... I’m… I’m sorry…” they said quietly, managing to prevent their voice from breaking just slightly,  if only to prevent the full force of the frustrated pity they felt. “He, uh… He would have been my mentor for the Spectre training… He was a good man.”

They could almost feel the flinch from where they were standing, just barely picking up on the soft, wheezing breath. It had to have hurt even more, knowing his own previous protégé would have taken on a student of his own had the Reapers slip not been made.

“... He was…” the pale turian ground out, shifting slightly in his spot to wrap an arm around the back of his head. “I will… I will mourn him… in my own time...”

His final words came out muffled, but they didn’t pry. Instead they simply nodded without a word, remaining still for a moment longer before finally hitting the panel to open the door. They took a moment to step out, just managing to wipe at their face a split second before they heard quickly approaching footsteps. They grounded themself just as quickly, taking a calming breath as Chakwas and Garrus rounded the corner.

“How did it go?” the doctor asked carefully, reaching to set a hand on their shoulder- she barely paused even as they flinched. “Are you alright?”

“You were in there for a while, I thought we’d have to go in guns blazing…” Garrus muttered, clearly unhappy, yet still riddled with a defensive concern. “Another minute and I actually would have.”

Cam simply shook their head, rubbing the back of their neck in small discomfort.

“No need…” they said quietly, avoiding both gazes. Even to them their voice sounded hollow, as if any life had been drained from it with an ungodly exhaustion- and they could nearly feel the uneasiness from the other two because of it. “He… He answered what I needed him to right now.”

Chakwas frowned.

“Do you need-”

“Run some tests every few hours like I said. He knows he’s gotta sit through it.” They interrupted, reaching up to rub their head instead. “Do a check on his biotics too, while you're at it… They started going haywire and I need to know if he’s gonna be a danger to himself at the very least. Let me know if he says anything.” they paused for a moment, “... I gonna lay down for a bit… I’ll check in later.”

They began to walk away almost immediately, missing the looks the duo had given them and preventing any argument. Though, despite the urge to keep moving, their pace was slowed when they heard quick steps behind them. They glanced over to meet the eyes of the blue-grey turian that approached with a huff.

“I'm coming with you.” Garrus spoke, now keeping pace next to them as they continued to walk. “I don't know if you should be alone right now.”

“Well, I want to be… And you’re not arguing with me about it, either.” they mumbled, but were met with a trilling snort as he shook his head, his nose scrunching ever so slightly in disagreement.

“I'm at least walking you there… You can deal with that much.”

They turned to stare at him entirely for a moment before sighing. They knew his mind was about as difficult to change as their own was..

“... Fine…” came the quiet reply, and they started walking again. “But I want you back here to keep watch afterwards.” they shook their own head before looking forward. “He may be cooperative now and might be telling the truth, but I don't think I trust him entirely still…”

“And I don't trust him at all.” Garrus grumbled, hitting the button to the elevator once they reached it. He leaned against the wall as they waited, tilting his head. “I still think this was a stupid, bad idea Shepard… But I guess she had a point. We can't stop you, as much as we want to.”

Cam was quiet for a moment, walking into the elevator and nodding for him to follow. They tucked themself into the corner as the doors closed.

“Good, because you won't.” They said finally, leaning against the wall and crossing their arms. “I don’t know, Garrus… Something is telling me killing him would have been a mistake… not sure if it's my gut or what…”

They glanced over as he snorted, flicking a mandible in mild amusement as he copied them in stance. He tapped his fingers against his arm in a small rhythm as he kept an eye on them.

“I think you need to get your gut checked.” He joked lightly, and they reached to elbow his side with a roll of the eyes, though the corner of their lips twitched into the smallest, amused smile.

“Sure, I'll get my head checked while I'm at it, god knows I fuckin’ need it…” they replied, and it was he let out a soft, rumbling chuckle.

“Honestly you might need more than that… I think a whole new evaluation is in order for whatever is wrong with you.”

They rolled their eyes again.

“Shut it, Vakarian.”

His mandibles flared for a moment before twitching upwards into a visible smile.

“Make me, Shepard.”

“Be careful what you wish for…”  They teased back, bumping his shoulder with their own and lingering slightly as if leaning on him. “I’ll fight you for your silence later.”

The joke seemed to land well as they glanced up at him, only moving away as they heard a pleased rumble from his chest.

“At this point I’ll take what I can get when it concerns you, even if it means getting taken down by a scrawny kid who somehow hits like a krogan.” he muttered jokingly, and they glanced at him again as the elevator stopped. Despite the still mildly joking tone, there was a deep worry in his expression that admittedly made their stomach twist into the smallest guilt.

They didn’t move for a moment as the doors opened, only fully meeting his gaze as he turned to look at them.

“I think this is your stop.” he said, attempting a lighter tone with the flick of a single mandible and a small gesture towards the door. They nodded and took a breath.

“Right…”

Both stepped off to the middle of the small hall after another few seconds of silence, and Cam paused at the door to their quarters. Garrus tilted his head as they stared at the door for just a moment before looking down in quick thought, and then to him. They searched his face, It took them a moment to finally move- but when they did, they turned to face him instead of opening their door. He seemed to freeze as they stepped towards him quickly and wrapped their arms around his torso how they could in a tight hug, pressing their face to the chest piece of his armor. It may have been solid and cold, but it was still comforting enough to let them breathe.

He remained silent, albeit slightly confused, though hesitantly brought up his hands and placed them on their shoulders. Another passing moment and squeeze from them allowed him to take a breath, and he returned the gesture fully, leaning down to press his chin against the top of their head as he pulled them in tighter.

“... You know we're just worried about you…”

His voice was quiet, his tone matching his words. They held onto him before sighing and nodding, though they didn't let go. They didn't want to… not yet. Even they knew they needed it.

“… I know…” they replied just as quietly, nudging their head up under his chin just slightly. “This entire situation is just… I dunno.”

“Messed up?” he suggested, and they shrugged.

“A bit, yeah…”

“I think ‘a bit’ is a bit of an understatement.”

They frowned.

“What the hell else do you want me to say then, Garrus…?” they asked. “I can’t even tell if this was a mistake or not because of how much bullshit we’ve had to work with recently… My only other option is saying it’s too fucked up for me to handle, and we both know I don’t want to say that.”

He thought for a moment before letting out a soft hum, tapping their arm lightly.

“Look… It’s messed up. We know that…” he started, shifting his chin to cover the top of their head more with his. “But we also know that you can handle whatever gets thrown at you… And I think you can handle this, too.”

Cam fell silent for another few moments after he finished speaking, simply leaning into him as if he were the only soul left besides them. They needed the comfort… They needed someone there at the moment. Hell they were almost willing to admit they just needed help. There was too much going on right now for them to focus on, especially knowing most of it would most likely effect how this entire thing would go. First the Collectors and the Reapers, not knowing if they would come back from the next encounter alive… and now the mixture of finding Arterius and the ‘time limit’ given for his vital ‘verdict’, the callousness from Illusive Man and the still unbelieving ignorance from the Council that made them bristle… but at least they still had this.

“... You’re my best friend, you know that…?” they nearly whispered, and they could feel him tilt his head with a single mandible twitching to brush against their hair.

“Wouldn't be here if I didn't, would I?.” He replied with mild amusement, and they couldn't help but snort.

“Sometimes I wonder.” 

They finally pulled away from him, but only just slightly, barely enough to shift and stand up on their toes in small attempts to boost their own height. He was silent as they did so, lifting his head away to lean up a bit straighter than he was. They gave a soft huff, closing their eyes as he shifted and moved to press his forehead against their own with a gentle *thunk*. They remained silent again until they felt their chest lighten, only shifting slightly as they felt armored fingers tap against their jaw after a few seconds. They tilted their head near instantly, leaning ever so slightly into the palm of his hand.

“... thank you…” they muttered, the corners of their lips twitching into a small, somewhat relieved smile as they heard a soft grumble in return. 

“Get some rest.” Garrus said simply, bumping their forehead once more before finally taking a step back. “Give your head a break before you make any more stupid decisions.”

Cam nodded.

“I'll try…” they replied, reluctantly pulling their arms from around his torso to simply pat the front of his chestpiece. “Think you can pause your calibrations every now and then to keep an eye on them…?”

The small jab earned a small laugh, and they managed to relax further as he moved to stand fully straight. He proceeded to shrug in a playfully exasperated way.

“Someone has to.”

Their smile grew slightly.

“I know.”

They managed to take a few steps back away from him, putting a cold space of nothing in between them that admittedly sent a twist in their gut again. They finally turned towards their door after another moment of silence, and he did the same towards the elevator. They only paused at the door for a moment, hand hovering over the sensor.

“... Thank you.” They repeated quietly, glancing over. “I mean it.”

He stopped in front of the elevator, turning his head to look at them- but nodded with a huff.

“I know.” He replied, mandibles tilting upwards in a small illusion of a smile once more. “You're welcome.”

They watched as he stepped into the elevator, waiting for the doors to close until he was out of sight- and promptly leaned forward against the door to their room, purposely thumping their head against the solid metal. They pressed their hands against the sides to steady themself before taking a few breaths, feeling their heart speed up once more as they were finally able to open the doors-

Maybe some small rest really would do them some good… Or maybe they would think too much and it would be a disaster.

Oh well, they thought, stepping into the room slowly. They'd figure it out later… all they could do now was sit and mull over the pale turians words, and hope he could answer more in the short time they had.

They wandered to the bed and sat down, though promptly flopped back after a few moments with a groan.

They just had to hope this wasn't a mistake.

[pvffinsdaisies]

CHARACTERS I TEND TO PORTRAY AS WOMEN

A short little list of character that, generally, when I’m speaking about them, I’m speaking about a female alternative and a short explanation on why. Excluding nations that are not canon in hetalia (e.g. the Faroe Islands).

NYO REPLACEMENTS:

“Nyo replacements” refer to nations where I still acknowledge the existence of the male counterpart, I might include them in ships or different AUs, but generally speaking, I prefer to treat their nyo as the “main” portrayal.

NYO ICELAND:

“Hrafnhildur Ingólfsdóttir”

Whilst I have never actually taken any issue with regular Iceland, I, at some point, just started gravitating more towards Hrafnhildur, instead. I actively developed her more than I did regular Ice, and became more comfortable with her. Iceland is also one of the best countries for women in the modern world, it was one of the first in Europe to elect a female head of state, for example. Other reasons, but my explanation is getting long as is.

NYO ESTONIA:

“Ivika Tamm”

Mainly thanks to Finland, who can be seen in OC replacement, I personally just love the idea of Finland and Estonia as a sister duo more than a brother-sister duo. Also, Estonia was actually a pretty good fighter back in the day.. and kind of unhinged… and I just love female “warrior” Eesti. And, similar to Iceland, I just developed a nyo Estonia before I did hws Estonia.

NYO ITALY:

“Angelica Viola Rossi”

Again, another one where I just developed the nyo counterpart more than the male one, women are just easier for me. If I were to list countries that just give me a more “feminine” vibe, Italy would be one of the first ones to name. And I’ve just always loved and gravitated towards nyo Italy, so I use her far more often. Feliciano is cute, but he just never stood out to me in the way Angelica does.

NYO POLAND:

“Felicja Skłodowska”

I debated whether or not to add Poland to this list, but ultimately decided I should. Whilst I do love the “Poland is the land of fem-boys” meme and I appreciate how it fits Feliks perfectly, regular Poland has never stood out to me at all, really, where as Felicja is more fun. I prefer Poland’s female design, and would’ve preferred to see them as a woman, like originally intended.

NYO PHILIPPINES:

Currently unnamed

Like many people, before Philippines was released, I was in the camp that they should’ve been a girl. Whilst I am not knowledgeable on Filipino culture, from what I’ve heard, it would make most cultural sense for the Philippines to have been a woman. I’ve seen multiple female Philippines OCs that I have loved, and whilst I do not have my own portrayal, I feel as though a female Philippines just has more potential. But I have no problem with canon Piri, he’s pretty fun.

OC REPLACEMENTS:

“OC replacements” refer to characters where I refuse to admit could even be nyos. The male counterpart does not exist to me at all, they are dead, deceased, I personally killed them.

FINLAND:

“Aino Lemmikki Järvinen”

Mainly thanks to “Suomi Neito” or the Finnish maiden, in English. A female personification of Finland within Finnish culture, originally stemming from the idea that the land looks like a woman. Even besides, I personally find making Finland a girl to be a good visual way to show the difference between them and the other Nordics. This was before I replaced Iceland with nyo Iceland, keep in mind. I’ve spoken about this before, multiple times, so I won’t say much here. The only time I use male Finland is when I’m using a friend’s portrayal.

IRELAND:

“Saoirse O’Reilly/Ní Raghallaigh”

I cannot express the disappointment I felt when Ireland was released as a man, I was one of the many people who was really rooting for a female Ireland. I tried to make my peace with male Ireland, but I just could not. Ireland will forever be a woman in my mind. There are so many strong women who come from Ireland, and Ireland just in general has strong feminine vibes imo.

NORTHERN IRELAND:

“Niamh O’Reilly/Ní Raghallaigh”

Again, similar to Ireland, I personally headcanoned N. Ireland as a woman before actual Northern Ireland became canon, and whilst my disappointment wasn’t as strong, I just could not sit with a male n. Ireland. I did consider her a nyo for a while, but eventually I just gave up with that.

SOUTH KOREA:

“Im Soojin”

Mainly thanks to @itstokkii and their wonderful portrayal of Korea 💕 South Korea just has such strong feminine vibes to me, and I just cannot picture them as anything other than a woman. South Korea, as a character, I just did not care about at all until I started viewing them as a girl, I love my hyper-modern tech whizz girly ig, what can I say?

NEW ZEALAND/AOTEAROA:

“Maia Ngaio” as I’m unfamiliar with Māori names, as notes or suggestions are very much welcome.

When it comes to New Zealand, I just think of so many strong, amazing female activists and fighters. New Zealand was actually the first country to give women the right to vote, and is also just so great for women’s rights. Which has to account for something, right? I just love female Aotearoa so much, I always have done, and a male portrayal just has absolutely no appeal to me at all anymore.

[sattorntempura]

Hi friends, if you're bored at this moment, give this a read, this is a DMC AU (idk if this is the appropriate term but it takes place in the DMC universe, not canon ofc.) Sorry for the lack of pages, I just started! More info at the end of the post for those who gave it a read :)

I had somewhat of an idea of how hard comic artists have to work but WOW now I definitely know at least a portion of what they go through.

Sorry if the quality changes, im trying to figure out what's best for the platform(s) since they do have a limit.

And the delay too! Im sorry about that! I know I promised last month but things happened and I was upset once I realized that I couldn't post it on the month I promised :(

You may see a change of the art style, I'm debating between Grayscale and monochrome/B&W.

All main characters still have their respective roles, this AU is Ezra's POV and how he ended up meeting the canon characters. I also hope in the future to have characters from other medias (that were not included in the game. Like the anime, manga, novel etc) to shine some light on them in my little AU. This AU also shares some features that the game has, and just like we discovered today, it includes the Orbs! I also want to explore into darker themes in this AU, (dw ALL CANON CHARACTERS ARE SAFE except from their CANON events... hehe get it?) But in all seriousness though, viewer/reader discretion is advised from here on out. I will be putting it on every update I make so even if something sensitive or NOT sensitive happens, you will still be warned.

All I ask is for a lottt of your patience :) Pretty please with a cherry on top.

Yes i gave Ezra that derpy hair bang, I don't know, when I was deciding his "Little Ezra" design and applied that hairstyle for the first time, i couldn't stop laughing and so I kept it.

I don't know when I will upload the next part again, i hope sometime around next month or so. I have a few other projects that I will be focusing on, but when there's free time, I will work on this :) I created this to challenge and bring out my art and storytelling out of its comfort zone. Also because I am scared to work on my dream project. Haha *cries in corner*

Oh yeah and just giving a heads up just so no one says that i didn't warn them, this includes canon and oc ship

"OH GOD NOOOOO IT WAS GOING SO WELL UNTIL THE LAST PART AAASSGH" I know, I know, but hey, :P we are faaaar from that saga LOL users who have followed me before i made this post already know who it is. *hint: read tags*

[robo-milky]

OC x Canon Week Bonus Day: Missing the Other

To wrap this up, I’ll let the ship be ambiguous ;) Since the challenge is over, I’ll show off the more… detailed drafts I preplanned for the first day. (Debating between ships and prompts at the time)

[guess-that-ship]

Guess That Ship Tournament Season 15: Submissions CLOSED!

The Concept: You describe your ship* to me, I pick out the submissions which I find most compelling and pit them against each other without revealing who they are, people vote on them, and their identities gets revealed once they’re eliminated.

Quite a few things have changed this time, so even if you're a regular, I recommend you read through the rules carefully!

Every other season, ships from fanon (something unofficial derived from the canon of a work), fanworks, and OCs will be allowed. This is the case for Season 15.

Submission Guidelines

*For the purpose of this tournament, relationships do not have to be romantic in nature. (I’m sometimes going to use “ship” as a shorthand, just know I mean “relationships” in general.)

Relationship can be between any number of characters.

Real people are accepted if they’ve been dead for more than 100 years.

Roleplay characters are accepted as long as the description only pertains to the characters and not the players.

Ships from fanon and fanworks (including crossover ships and crackships) are accepted. (If the fanwork is lesser known or on a smaller scale, please do not submit any ships from it without permission.)

OCs and OC x Canon are accepted. (Please do not submit other people's OCs without their permission.)

No overtly NSFW submissions. (Mentioning they have sex or are a sex worker is fine, but try to avoid anything more than that.)

Two submission per person. (Do not submit the same ship twice. I cannot enforce this on Google Forms without forcing you to log in. So just be champs and respect this rule.)

Failure to follow these guidelines may result in all of your submissions being disqualified for this season.

Summary Guidelines

Selection Process: I will read through the list of descriptions submitted without reading their names and pick the most compelling submissions. Then, I will check the name to make sure there's no repeats.

Keep it concise, but also bring something unique to the table. Make sure to describe their relationship, not just summarize the events of the story.

Previous submissions for reference. The ideal submission should be 1-2 paragraphs, but you can make it as short or long as you want. Please keep in mind the longer your submission, the less likely it is to get in.

Tips on what to avoid while writing a summary can be found here.

Descriptions should be based on the canon of the source material (e.g. You can say “they love each other” instead of “they’re lovers” if their romantic nature is debatable.). If you are writing a description based on how they appear in a fanfic or your headcanon, it is considered as fanon and should be labeled as such in your submission.

Avoid author commentary. (e.g. "They're canonically x," "I love them," "Play/watch/read this," etc.)

Use canonical pronouns.

Avoid identifying information or setting specific giveaways. (i.e. ninja village, space necromancers.)

When submitting OCs, please make sure to at least put a name somewhere. (e.g. "John and Bob by anonymous" or "OCs by Joey.")

The more popular your ship is the more vague the description should be.

Exclusions

Generally, ships that have been accepted into previous seasons will not be accepted. For a complete list, please look here. (No need to look through the whole list, just Ctrl+F to find the ship you want.)

Due to them winning S14, ships containing the characters Mira Marchand and/or Delnys Raethran from Trials & Trebuchets will not be accepted in S15. Ships containing them will be allowed again in S16.

Any submissions from Harry Potter will also not be included.

Notes

I will not vet the ships/pairings for problematic content.

If you participate in this tournament, know that you run the risk of unintentionally voting for your nOTP. The mod does not take any responsibility for any distress that may cause you.

There will be a limit of one ship per media in the bracket. You may submit two ships from the same media, but keep in mind only one ship will be able to get in. (A series or franchise will generally count as one media, but they will be evaluated on a case by case basis.)

There will be a maximum number of fanon ships and OC ships accepted into the tournament. The maximum number will depend on the bracket size, but for a bracket of 16, the maximum number will be 3.

Submit your ships here! Submissions will be open until Sunday, March 9th at 9 PM EDT.

Please reblog this post to spread the word! The more submissions, the better!