#was Wylan ‘Did I kill Kaz Brekker?’

[catdoingblep]

I am catched by Wylan’s “You’re alive” line in s2e1, and I am thinking now about how many possibilities Wylan had to practice bomb making before Kaz hired him for the first job (none, since not like tutors would allow him and chemicals are expensive?) but Kaz is still crazy enough to hire him without any actual practice bc he ✨believes✨ in Wylan’s talent.

What Jesper imagined when he asked Kaz to hire a demo man:

Meanwhile Wylan (who has never done a real bomb before but knew how to do it in theory) mixing for Kaz phosphorus bomb which can be used against Darkling:

[achildfullofwoe]

So I'm re reading six of crows for the millionth time, and I just wanted to share Matthias's first impressions of the crows (not including nina because shes already met him but if you want me too I can) because I can't stop laughing. This guy has no chill. And I know these are here for our benefit too to give us more description for the crows.

-

Kaz: - "Gravelly voice" "Dark eyes" "pale demon with his black-gloved hands"

Inej: "small girl" "dark hair" "deep bronze suli skin"

Jesper: "long limbed boy" "bony knees" "deep brown zemeni skin and incongruous grey eyes. "He was built like a stork" 😭

Wylan: "Ruddy gold curls." "He's about twelve"

[bitchthefuck1]

It's always so funny to me when people call Kaz a serial killer or a murderer bc like. boy do I have news for you about the other crows.

[six-of-cringe]

hello yes i am Seeing i am Looking and i am Envying how succinctly you sum up what took paragraphs for my loquacious ass to get around to

kaz and wylan are very much foils, and while much has been said about their similarities and how their stories parallel each other, it’s also worth noting that while kaz gives up his rietveld identity to survive in the barrel, wylan clings to what makes him wylan throughout his time in the barrel. when kaz loses everything, he throws away goodness and honesty; when wylan loses everything, he clings to goodness and honesty because it’s all he has left. they have fundamentally different backgrounds which obviously influence their choices and outlooks on life, but it’s interesting nonetheless!

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Cause it’s you

a/n what the hell is it with Kazzle Dazzle that always makes me write a full ass story inside of a simple little blurb… chokehold.

request: kaz brekker x reader one bed trope on a heist 🙏🙏

warning: blood, injuries, touch aversion, one bed.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Kaz was tired. Bone deep tired. That kind of tired that made you drag your legs through the pavement. His cane was taking most of his weight tonight, and truthfully, Kaz was ready for the day to end. And end as soon as possible. “So… Who’s going in to buy the rooms?” Jesper let out a painful breath. His ribs had to be black and blue by now. He did cover for most of the team during the job, and the way he was leaning on Wylan clearly showed that the adrenaline was wearing off.

“I would, but if I moved even the slightest, they would see blood all over my dress," Nina’s sugary, venomous voice shouted as she glared at Kaz, clearly still annoyed that her perfect dress, not to mention that Kaz bought the said dress, was ruined because of the job gone slightly wrong. Inej didn’t even move from her shadows. She and Kaz had a falling out while the pack trotted through the damp streets, and neither wanted to let go of their grudges.

“I’ve got it, guys," you said softly, catching everyone’s attention. “We all need a hot bath and a good night's sleep." You rested your hand on Nina’s shoulder as you peeked out of the alley. “Flirt your way through it," Jesper whispered. “Get us extra perks, please." The rest of the team snickered quietly.

You were about to respond when Kaz’s cane blocked your way. “No one is flirting, and you’re not going alone." His voice was way sharper than he usually used when he was talking to you. “I can handle myself, boss," you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “Yeah, but a lady alone in the shithole like this... Would be too suspicious," Kaz breathed, stepping out and looking back at you.

A couple of hours later, you were finally drying your hands after patching everyone up. Girls had jumped into sharing a room and had walked you out while wiggling eyebrows that you greeted with a middle finger. Wylan was, of course, sharing with Jasper, who had been complaining about the single beds ever since he stepped foot into the room, so you had helped Wylan push them against one another.

It’s not like you hadn’t shared rooms with Kaz. You two grew up together in the slums. You were the one to pull him out of the water when he finally floated to the shore. He had his ever-going addenda of pushing you away ever since, but you had always stuck around. You had always tried to be his voice of reason. "Shit," you muttered once you flicked the light on. “No, no, no," you breathed out, rushing forward. This had to be a joke. What were the odds of getting three rooms and one of them having a double bed? Maybe you could pull them apart; maybe there were two. You yanked the duvet covers off. Fingers searching for a split in the mattress.

“What did that poor bed do to you?" A voice from behind you startled you, making you lose your footing and go face-first into the covers. “Great now, street grime is all over the sheets," he grumbled. “Well, if you weren’t sneaking behind my back, this wouldn’t have happened," you huffed, climbing off the plush sheets. “It’s my room," Kaz breathed out. Your gaze found him as you narrowed your eyes, “Our room, you mean?”.

He held your gaze. Strong. Unmoving. “I’ll take the chair," he muttered under his breath, stepping deeper into the room and starting to undo his jacket. “Like hell you will, your legs will be killing you tomorrow," you huffed, bending to undo your shoes. “And your shoulder won’t?”, Kaz huffed. “Speaking of which," his movements halted as he turned to face you. “Stand up and undo your shirt," he motioned with his hand. You raised an eyebrow at him. “Kaz Brekker, you’re trying to get me naked?”, you teased. Kaz simply tilted his head to the side, his face emotionless. Before he stepped closer, “You have two choices," he said quietly. “Enlighten me," you muttered under your breath. “You take it off willingly, or I will cut it off your body." You could feel his breath on your skin, making a shiver run down your back. “It’s nothing," you breathed. “Prove it," he dared you.

You held his gaze in silence. You knew that it was probably more than bad. You could barely lift your hand, and your shoulder blade was throbbing. It was almost funny how not the fact that you had to strip in front of him made you anxious but the fact that he would see you weak. You hated being vulnerable. When you finally clawed out of the street, you had sworn to never be vulnerable again. And Kaz hated weak investments. He didn’t do deals that weren’t beneficial to him. And now you...

You felt the cold metal tip of his cane slip between the two buttons right in between your breasts. "Hey," you jerked back, turning away from him. “Show me that fucking shoulder, YN," Kaz practically growled. “Or, I’ll...”. But he didn’t get to finish as your hands clumsily moved to undo the handful of buttons until you were practically panting from the panic cursing through your veins. Turning back to him, you yanked the dirty fabric from your body. "Happy," you hissed.

Kaz clenched his jaw. He didn’t even allow himself to blink as he looked at the crusted, angrily red cut and a handful of bruises littering your skin. He forced himself to put them all into his memory. Because this was all his doing. All his games had gotten you hurt. “Wipe those fucking tears off your cheeks," he huffed harshly. Too harshly, and he hated himself for it. But he couldn’t. Physically couldn’t watch you cry. It felt as if someone was carving out his chest. Your shaky hands clumsily wiped the damp patches beneath your eyes.

“You got out. We both did," Kaz muttered because he knew the demons that were clouding your brain now. He had met them too. You nodded. Wrapping your hands around your torso, it only just now hit him that you were standing in front of him topless. Kaz turned around so quickly that he nearly gave himself a whiplash before muttering, “Go, take a bath.”.

Your fingers were crinkling from the time you had spent laying in that hot water. You had hurried off the moment Kaz dismissed you. You knew he would never take advantage of you. And that bodies in general made him uncomfortable, but the way he had turned away from you. As if you were the most ugly creature that he had seen. Now your only salvation was that he might just be asleep by the time you stepped out of the bathroom.

Kaz, however, was far from sleeping. He had lost count of how many times he had walked up to the bathroom door to listen that you were still rustling around. He had lost his jacket and gloves. His hair was messy from all the pulling he has done. The slow turning of the key made him look up. Your hair was done up and still damp. Feet bare. You looked so small, like this. And that deep desire to keep you safe shifted gears without him even realizing it.

“You’re not asleep," you muttered, barely meeting his eyes. “It looks like I’m not," Kaz said quietly. There was no one else whom Kaz trusted the way he trusted you, yet here you two were as if you hadn’t spent the majority of your lives together. “Did you fix your shoulder?” Kaz asked, clearly stalling. You nodded, and he followed suit. “Then get into bed," "Kaz," you huffed. “I didn’t ask," he said, narrowing his eyes at you. You wanted to fight him, but you simply didn’t have enough energy to do so, “And you?”.

You saw something glistening in his eyes for a heartbeat before he swallowed, “I..." and let out a labored breath. “You can also lay down," you muttered. “I will keep to my side; we can put pillows in between." There was a note of hopefulness in your voice. One that held Kaz in a chokehold. “Lay down, woman," he said through gritted teeth. But you caught it. There was that part of him that he hid. So you wasted no time, doing right as he said.

He watched your every move. Watched your frame disappear between the sheets. Only then did Kaz step closer, his breathing hitching in his chest. The tide was rising. threatening to swallow him whole. “Kaz...”, and here it was with that same velvety voice. One that always pulled him right out. Chasing away all of his fears. He blinked a couple of times only to meet your beautiful eyes looking right at him.

“Close your eyes," he breathed, making you frown. “I didn’t know that you getting into bed was such a big secret," you teased. Kaz felt the corners of his lips turning upwards. "Smartass," he whispered under his breath as he swung his legs over the mattress. And for some reason, this didn’t feel too bad. It didn’t seem all that scary now that he was in bed. With you. You. It was because of you. Kaz turned his head to the side, watching you watch him. And for the first time, he let himself look. Not only look, actually see you. And fuck if you weren’t the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“You’re okay?”, you muttered, your fingers slowly moving toward the center of the bed. Kaz watched them getting closer, but he didn’t feel like stopping you. “When am I not okay when I’m with you?" A light gasp left your lips at his words, your lips disappearing between your teeth. “Don’t do that," he grumbled, his fingers only lifting and grazing yours, and you instantly pulled them away. Not wanting to cross his boundaries. "Sorry," you shook your head. “Not your fingers," Kaz protested. “Your lip," he pointed out, making you frown. “What about it?” You brushed your fingers over it, trying to see if you had bitten too hard and drawn blood. “Because if you’ll continue to do it, I’ll...", Kaz swallowed. “I might lose my restraint in holding back." And then he reached out, his shaky fingers brushing over your plump lips. It took all the self-control you had to not whimper at the touch. Savoring the way his fingers felt, you only let your eyes close for a second, and then there was nothing. As if you had imagined it. You had barely caught Kaz practically jumping out of bed. Reaching for his jacket and cane. "Kaz," you breathed, pushing the covers off your body. But your plea was met with a slam of the door.

[shaykappa]

Favourite/Funniest Line's from Crooked Kingdom

"Let's go." "Me?" "No the idiot behind you."

"How is-" "Nina is fine. Jesper is fine. Everyone is fine except for me because I am stuck with a gang of hand-wringing nursemaids."

"Now why can't people be this easily trained?" Kaz murmured as he crouched to oblige the dog with a belly rub.

"Did you know I am next in line for the Fjerdan throne? They call me Princess Ilse of Engelsberg." "There is no princess of Engelsberg. It's a fishing town."

"Has anyone noticed this whole city is looking for us, mad at us, or wants to kill us?" "So?" "Well, usually it's just half the city."

"Big, blond and blind. The Fjerdan way."

"If I live I'll buy you waffles." "You don't have enough money to buy her waffles."

"Do you know what Van Eck's problem is?" "No honor?" "Rotten parenting skills?" "Receding hairline?"

"Isn't that how things are done around here? We all tell Kaz we are fine and the do something stupid?" "Are we that predictable?" "Yes."

"It seems everyone is forming alliances." "They're called friendships Kaz."

"You are very welcome Nina Zenik. You may repay me in the costumary way." "Waffles?" "Lots of them."

"I need to do this. I've never been to my mother's grave. I am not leaving Kerch without saying goodbye." "Trust me, you care more than she does."

"You are stupid about a lot of things Wylan, but you are not stupid. And if I ever hear you call yourself a moron again, I am going to tell Matthias you tried to kiss Nina. With tongue." "He' ll never believe it." "Then I 'll tell Nina you tried to kiss Matthias. With tongue."

"Come on, let's do steal all my dad's money. "Isn't it your money?" "Okay, let's go steal it back."

"I think you 'd flirt with a date palm if it would pay you any attention." "If I flirted with a plant, you can bet it would stand up and take notice."

"Yes, yes, Nina Zenik is hungry. Now, will someone feed me before I am forced to cook one of you?" "Don't be ridiculous. You don't know how to cook."

"On a dare I ate a literal through full of waffles and nearly went back for seconds."

"Pick up the pace." "If I spill a single drop of this it will burn straight through the floor onto my father's dinner guests." "Take your time."

"I am Dunyasha, the White Blade, trained by the Sages of Ahmrat Jen, the greatest assassin of this age." "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Fate brought me here." "And does fate pay your wages?"

"My parents thought I would drown because I crawled into the sea as a baby, laughing." "Perhaps they were worried you would talk yourself to death."

"Kaz. You may not be glad we are alive, but we are glad you are alive."

"You are better than waffles, Matthias Helvar." "Let's not say things we don't mean, my love."

"Are you mad?" "I'd probably be happier if I was."

"You have to be the craziest bastard I ever met." "I'll take that as a compliment."

"My leg! My leg!" "I recommend a cane."

"What is wrong with him?" "Same thing that's always wrong with him. He's Kaz Brekker."

Jesper followed Wylan down the hall. "Hey." Wylan kept going.

"Jes, I 've thought about this-" "Thought of me? Late at night? What was I wearing?"

Wylan ran his tongue over his lips and spat in his father's face.

He was pale, with tufty orange brows and a hunched posture that gave him the look of a giant shrimp.

He felt bad for the guy. Not bad enough to wake him up and untie him, but still.

"I 've been shot!" He had not been shot.

"How about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim?"

"Tell you what. When the day comes, mark it on your calendars. I can think of a lot of people who 'll want to throw a party.

"Wait. Is my tie straight?"

[swanimagines]

A MISTAKE | KAZ BREKKER

Summary: Imagine doing an unsuccessful heist and Kaz taking it out on you.

The heist hadn't gone as planned. It was no one's fault, you had just been incredibly unlucky, but Kaz was still enraged at everyone and looking for a guilty one, accusing everyone on their turn before you stepped in.

"Kaz, stop it." You sighed, wrapping your arms around yourself. "We could have done nothing otherwise. Sometimes these things happen, it isn't anyone's fault. You made a brilliant plan, we all tried to follow it-"

"No," Kaz grumbled, glaring at you in turn. "A mistake like this can't happen without someone taking responsibility. You weren't much of an use either, or what were you doing there at the hallway when guards were rushing towards us? We could have hid, but you gave us away before we could. I blame you all the same for this failure!" He shouted, his eyes flashing dangerously.

Your face dropped at Kaz's words and you took a step back from him. His hands clenched around his cane as he glared at you.

"I didn't do anything wrong," you mumbled, trying to hold his gaze.

He snorted and turned away from you. "Yes, you did. This wasn't your first job, so why the hell did you think you could get away with going solo there?!"

You rolled your eyes, clenching your jaw. "I had to! They could have reached us and killed us all if I didn't slow them down!"

Kaz scoffed. "If you would have followed the plan, we could have had an opportunity to hide!"

"No," you shook your head quickly. "They knew exactly where we were, they would have surrounded us and either imprisoned us or killed us! For your information, I saved our lives so thank you so much for your fucking gratitude!"

"Kaz, they're right, we could have-" Jesper tried to intervene but Kaz interrupted him.

"This is between me and them, keep your mouth shut!" Kaz growled.

"Hey, let's just all take some time to calm down." Wylan murmured as he carefully approached you but Kaz still hadn't stopped.

"You're of no use," he snarled at you. "We don't need people like you during heists, maybe you should take up the broom instead or stay in your room, out of sight."

"Kaz!" Inej scolded him while the rest of the Crows stood dumbfounded, staring at Kaz in shock.

Your eyes became glossy, tears threatening to spill over. But Kaz still didn't seem to care. So you turned around and sprinted towards the Slat, letting the cold wind bite your face as your tears finally began cascading over your cheeks.

The Crows stood there for a while, seeing you disappearing to the crowd. Then they all laid disappointed looks at Kaz.

"Happy now?" Nina sighed and started walking faster, with no doubt of wanting to offer a listening ear for your once again broken heart.

They all knew you both had feelings for each other, but you didn't deserve to be treated like this by him. Kaz was usually cool and collected, but his conflicted feelings for you merged with frustration was never pretty to watch. But this was something worse than your usual bickerings, and Inej noticed the slight flash of regret in Kaz's eyes. He hid it incredibly well, but it was still there. She'd pop by his window in the morning and talk him into apologising to you like so many times before - you deserved to know he still cared about you, even when you had fights like these. She was just concerned about how many fights would you take before giving up on him...

---

Inej's presence floated in the air early in the morning. Sun had barely risen, and Kaz had once again stayed awake the whole night. You had usually made him sleep a little, even take a nap. Telling him his brains would be able to work harder if he slept and he wouldn't feel so frustrated.

But yesterday, from obvious reasons, you hadn't come to talk him into going into bed for a little while. It had felt weird, but Kaz knew the reason. Nina had taken food with her at the evening and headed towards your room, laying a glare at Kaz as she passed him but didn't say anything.

Kaz had sensed Inej long before the shadow passed his desk and Inej's soft steps approached him.

"Kaz," she sighed. "You owe them an apology."

Kaz ignored her. "What time is it?"

"Early."

"Is anyone else awake yet? We need to start working on a new plan."

"No. We need to talk about your fight yesterday with a certain Dreg."

"Why?" Kaz asked, irritated.

"When will you go and apologise to them?"

"There's nothing to apologise for."

"You had them cry in Nina's arms for an hour. Nina had to help them to fall asleep. So yes, you do have something to apologise for."

"It's fine, Inej."

"I'm serious, Kaz."

"They'll get over it."

"If you want them to hate you forever."

"They already hate me," Kaz muttered.

Inej sighed, staring at Kaz for a moment. Kaz ignored her accusatory look and just continued working with the plan. Suddenly, Inej's hand appeared on his way.

"Saints, Kaz!" she exclaimed suddenly and Kaz's eyes met hers for the first time today. "You need to think about their feelings for once."

"I don't have time to think about whether someone gets hurt from things I say, in the Barrel, you have to be tough and if you aren't, you're screwed." He huffed.

Inej sighed. "We all know you care about them more than you care about the rest of us. We know you have feelings for them."

Kaz paused then, letting a long breath through his nose. "I don't have feelings for them."

"You do. We all have seen how you look at each other. Nina has heard your heart when you look at them. You both are just so stubborn and won't act for it. It's getting ridiculous."

"It's not like that."

"You say it's not like that, but still everything points the other way."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Kaz growled, his fingers tapping the desk.

Inej groaned. "Kaz, you know you want to go to apologise. Swallow your pride for once.."

He huffed. "Dirtyhands being soft for someone doesn't fit the picture."

Inej laughed and rolled her eyes. "I know that while living in the Barrel and being a crime boss, it's necessary. But I know you. This is just petty, and you don't want to lose them. Go apologise. Or I'll drag you there."

Kaz looked at Inej for a moment longer before he took a big breath in and stood up. "Fine," he grumbled, "I'll go talk to them."

---

Kaz didn't know how long exactly he had stood in front of your room. He couldn't help but think that you would be too angry at him to speak - and Inej's claim of you having feelings for him.

It wasn't possible. Kaz's feelings for you were hardly possible, so yours would be even less. And you'd deserve someone better than him anyway.

Kaz tried to convince himself of this, but a little voice echoed at the back of his head.

What if they do like you back?

He stared at your door for a moment longer before finally bringing himself to knock.

A groan was heard and then your groggy voice, "Coming..."

The door opened and Kaz's heart started to beat faster the moment he saw you. You squinted your eyes at the light and when you recognised him, your expression immediately transformed into a scowl.

"What do you want?" you snapped, your hands on your hips and your hair messy from sleep.

Kaz opened his mouth but then shut it again. You were angry, he was sorry but he didn't know how to word it. He sighed.

"I thought we should talk this through," he finally said, taking a step forward.

You didn't say anything and just stared at him for a moment. "Oh, mighty Dirtyhands wants to talk now."

Kaz groaned and was quiet for a moment. "I owe you... an apology."

"I don't want to hear it," you said and attempted to slam the door shut, but Kaz got his cane between it and pushed himself inside to your room.

"We need to talk," Kaz said, moving his cane into your way again. "And I won't leave until we do."

"Stop that," you snapped.

"Why?"

"Because I'm trying to be mad at you."

Kaz bit back a smile at that. "If you want to be mad at me, you need to have a proper reason for it."

You huffed and crossed your arms. "Fine, then talk."

Kaz sighed and laid his gaze on his hands gripping the cane. "What I said last night was needless and inconsiderate. I..." He clenched his jaw and cast his eyes downwards for a moment, and then met your eyes again and continued. "I apologise for it."

He glanced up at you, expecting to still see your anger, but instead, your expression was confused.

"Well, I wasn't expecting that."

Kaz smirked at your confusion. "I know how to be an asshole, but I'm trying to be a good boss, too."

You chuckled. "I've gotten used to you being an asshole even when I know you care about me- care about us, I mean, so... it's weird to hear you apologise."

Kaz huffed with a small smile, his heart thudding. He smiled at you, and you were smiling too, and he felt his heart jump at that.

"Have you slept at all last night?" you asked him.

Kaz shook his head. "No. I had work."

You sighed and rolled your eyes. "Work can wait, you go have a nap right now."

You opened the door for him, and you began ascending the stairs together. Kaz smirked at your order. "And if I won't?"

You laughed. "I'll knock you out and drag you to bed. Your call."

---

Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[stray-kaz]

Memento Mori : a Kaz Brekker x f!reader oneshot

A/N: A request! Thank you for this idea!

Summary: Reader is poisoned by a rival gang leader hoping to force Kaz to his knees by taking you down. Kaz is afraid and murderous, a fatal combination.

Reader’s nickname, because of her profession, is Bee. (And it’s just easier sometimes to allow use of some kind of name instead of being constantly vague).

Memento mori: remember you must die.

Warnings: Violence, blood, near death. Poisoning. Kaz near breaking point.

Inej flew up the stairs in the Slat to Kaz’s quiet office, Jesper tearing after her, coattails flying out behind him. Matthias waited at the bottom of the flight, your limp, still form in his arms. Nina stood next to him, sweat beading on her forehead as she pressed both hands hard down against your heart.

“I am not a healer, I am not a healer, I am not a healer” she kept muttering.

“You’re all she has” Matthias reminded her gently. “Just keep going.”

Kaz looked up from the ledger he was filling in, irritation written all over his features, when Inej and Jesper burst in, panting. They had run all the way from the bottom of the Barrel.

“What is it?” he demanded.

“It’s Bee” Jesper managed to gasp out. “Talyss stung back.”

Kaz stood with such force his chair skidded away and toppled over. He grabbed his cane from its position leaning against his desk and pushed between Jesper and Inej, making his way down the stairs faster than they’d seen before.

He didn’t make a misstep and he didn’t stumble or fall, but when he saw you, Kaz wondered briefly if this was what death felt like. His hands shivered inside his gloves as he raised a hand to remove an errant curl from your forehead. Nina stared; it was the tenderest thing she had ever seen him do. He loved you.

“My room” Kaz rasped, and stepped aside so that Matthias could carry you upstairs, Nina edging along the banister so she could keep your heart going.

Inej was just finishing preparing Kaz’s bed when you were laid down gently on top of it. She covered up to your waist with a heavy blanket and Nina sank down beside you, her skirts rustling around her.

Kaz hovered like a ghost in the doorway of his own bedroom, watching your face, wan and lax. Your eyes rolled beneath their lids, and just as he was about to bite his tongue, come closer and hold your hand, Wylan skidded into the room and did just that. His knees slammed onto the wooden floorboards and, bright eyes wild, fluffy hair in disarray. He squeezed your hand and you whimpered, still unconscious.

Kaz took a threatening step into the room, but Jesper moved to block him, shaking his head firmly. Kaz glared at him, but for once, Jesper didn’t flinch.

“He’s her friend” he said quietly.

It was true, and Kaz knew it. Wylan was his chemist, bombmaker, demo man. And you were his poison maker, his sting, and the love of his abominable life. You worked with Wylan most days and were more now like brother and sister. He loved you, too.

Wylan looked up at Jesper then, an idea sparking in his eyes. 

“You can take the poison” he said, looking suddenly a little feverish himself.

Jesper glanced uneasily around the room as he suddenly felt all eyes on him. He rocked back on his heels, met Kaz’s implacable gaze.

“I’ve never done it” he beseeched, spreading his hands out wide. “This is what killed my mother, Kaz.”

He felt a tug on his hand and glanced down at Wylan.

“You wouldn’t need to take all of it, Jesper. She practices with poisons every day, taking small amounts to build up immunity, always with an antidote to hand. Tonight, you are the antidote. She just needs enough gone for her system to start fighting on its own” he told him.

Jesper looked at Kaz again; he said nothing. Jesper sighed quietly and gently nudged Inej out of the way so he could sit opposite Nina and clasp your other hand. He closed his eyes and concentrated, feeling his way along the channels of your veins, almost able to taste the metals in your blood.  Fine dark veins rose on the back of your hand and your eyes flew open to stare at Jesper. You tried to pull your hand away, but he held fast, swallowing hard against the pain.

Kaz’s jaw clenched so tight he thought he felt a tooth crack when your first cry rent the air. Tears spilled over your lashes and onto your cheeks, and you tried again and again to pull away from Jesper, but he was stronger than you and could sense the end of it.

Wylan held tightly to your other hand and Matthias stood sentinel behind him, a stony set to his jaw, though his eyes were worried. Kaz had never seen you cry tears of pain. He had never heard the animal sounds wailing out of you, howling at the walls and the window. He had never seen you break.

He tightened his grip on his cane. He was going to find Talyss and his band of thugs, beat him nearly to his grave and then pour his poison down his throat to send him the rest of the way.

As he turned to leave, he felt a hand lightly brush his sleeve and looked to see Nina. He raised his eyebrows impatiently, waiting.

“Bee is strong enough” Nina said steadily. “There is hope for her, Kaz.”

He merely shook off her hand and spoke over his shoulder as he walked away.

“Hope is dangerous, Nina.”

As Dirtyhands made his way to the bottom of the Barrel, gutter dwellers avoided eye contact and leapt out of his way, edging back into the shadows. He heard the whispers as he passed, cold fury and determination disguising his limp. There were those nearby him who knew why he was there and those who had no idea and were terrified to see him. Either way, both types of people hid their faces and did their best to remain undetected.

The door to Talyss Novak’s converted warehouse was locked, which didn’t surprise or deter Kaz. Normally, he’d go quiet and careful, but tonight he didn’t care for quiet or careful. He didn’t reach for his lockpicks, he simply hefted his cane in both hands and swung it at the door handle. It crunched under the weight of the crow’s head and the inner lock clattered onto the floor on the other side.

Kaz pushed the door out of his way with the toes of one shoe and stepped across the dark threshold, cane still gripped tightly in one fist. His other hand had slipped into his pocket, gloved fingers tightening slightly around the vial of poison he had picked up from the workshop you shared with Wylan along the way. He had no idea if it was the same poison or what it did, but judging by the thick red “!!!” on the white label, it would hurt.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he twisted out from under it, wrenching slightly but not caring. He swung the cane like a truncheon and felt something give wetly under his strength. There was a strangled scream and then they all came out of nowhere, trying their best to take down the bastard of the Barrel. But Kaz would not be taken anywhere tonight. He could smell blood, and he wanted it all, the sounds of your pain still ringing in his ears.

When there were bodies heaped around his feet, some still and noiseless, some groaning pitifully, he reached down and grabbed the coat collar of the most alive one. He moved in nice and close, face blood stained and dripping.

“Your boss” he hissed, teeth bared. “Now.”

A weak hand pointed towards a twisting stair shaped shadow and Kaz dropped him back to the hard concrete floor and stepped away, the men already forgotten.

The staircase was quiet and he could hear the soft sound of blood on his glove slipping on his heavy cane. He reached the top and moved silently along the landing, again reaching for the poison in his trouser pocket. A door at the furthest end of the hallway stood ajar. His instincts screamed that the worst of Novak’s men would be behind that door, but he could not bring himself to care. They would all die.

As he approached the dark side of the door, he heard his name spoken.

“Brekker.”

The door swung open and a single lone man appeared, backlit by the interior. With a flick of his thumb, Kaz released the tiny vial stopper and circled finger and thumb around the glass neck.

“How’s your girlfriend? Still breathing? Or dead as a dormouse?”

Kaz walked forward slowly, clenching his teeth against the pain of hiding his limp. Peripheral room checks told him he was alone with Talyss. The man was a maniac, or stupid. Kaz was betting on the latter.

“Did you really think you could take me down by removing my sting? Novak, I don’t need anyone. You made a mistake thinking that I do.”

“Then why’re you here, Dirtyhands?”

“To make you pay for that mistake.”

Kaz decided to temporarily forgo use of his cane; instead he struck with his other hand, shoving the vial with its contents into Novak’s mouth, swallowing hard against the bitter bile that rose in his throat as his gloved hand forced the man’s jaw up and shut and he heard the splintering of glass plink against his teeth. 

Novak screamed through closed lids, Kaz’s hand tightening even harder. Thirty seconds dripped past and Novak finally wrenched himself away, opening his mouth to spit glass and a damp pinkish mist. He coughed, choking, and Kaz realised enough glass had been inhaled to perforate his lungs. Talyss Novak was drowning in his own blood, before the poison even did its work.

Kaz helped him along a little; he lifted his cane and lightly prodded the older man in the centre of his chest with the solid flat end. It didn’t take much prodding before he was flat on his back on the cold rough concrete, rasping blood soaked air in through piecemeal lungs.

Kaz stepped closer and leaned over him, watching until his eyes started to stare and his chest stopped spasming. Then he turned and walked out the way he came, blood and fear pounding in his ears.

When Kaz finally staggered back in through the doorway of his bedroom in the Slat, he saw you sitting up in his bed, leaning heavily against Jesper’s chest but rosy cheeked, damp hair sticking to your forehead. Your eyes were opioid bright, glossy and damp looking, but they focused on him with the ferocity he was used to, and something loosened inside his chest. He opened his mouth, and what came out surprised all of them, but most of all him.

“Please.”

Nina held you up while Jesper eased out from behind you, then plumped several pillows up behind your back and shoulders. Inej briefly touched your shoulder and Wylan blew you a kiss. Nina leaned hard on Matthias as they walked out of the room, followed by the other three.

Alone finally, Kaz shed his cane and coat and almost collapsed onto the bed next to you. He retained his gloves, which you understood; in your current state, sweating and clammy, the touch of your skin on his would remind him too much of Jordie. But he wrapped his arms around you, drawing you down onto his chest, and held on as tightly as he thought you could cope with. 

You sighed.

“Is the problem dealt with?” you asked quietly, your voice sounding uncomfortable and hoarse.

Kaz scoffed a chuckle and nodded.

“Yes. The problem is dealt with. No more stinging the stinger.”

“Good. ‘Cause it pretty much sucks.”

Kaz tipped your chin up slightly so he could see your eyes, his expression serious.

“You will improve your immunity” he said, a statement and not a question. “I do not want to do that again.”

What he meant was: I will not survive your near death again. If you die, I will also.

You gazed back at him and nodded.

“I will” you promised. “Never again, Kaz.”

He nodded back, leaned his head on the wall of pillows and closed his eyes, settled for now with the knowledge of you safe in his arms.

Tagging: @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r​ 

[futurecorps3]

Hello my love! I have heard your call for Kaz requests and I have an idea rattling around in my head!

Could you maybe do a Kaz x fem!Reader where they're in their early 20s and have been together for years and overcome Kaz's touch aversion (bc our poor boy deserves some healing 😭)? But that's not the idea, the idea is that the reader hasn't been sleeping for a few nights and ends up getting hurt because of it? Could be from fainting and hitting her head, slow reflexes on a job, etc. I trust your brilliant mind!

I can't wait to watch you grow as a writer!!!! ❤️

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐧𝐮𝐦

Masterlist<3

Summary: The lack of sleep Kaz has been warning his girl about finally has consequences. Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem!reader Warnings: Mentions of overwoking, lack of sleep, blood, a very angsty moody angry sad Kazzle, mentions of blood and lost of conscience. The usual crow violence! Lmk if I missed any. Word Count: 3.5K whoops Requested: Yes

A/N: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! :( I love the prompt, however and am very excited to work on this. Hope u like it nonnie and that last thing means the absolute world! <3

˚ · • . ° .

Now he knew he was in no position to demand her to rest. Kaz Brekker was known in his close circle for two things; killing whoever disrespected his love and always scheming. The electricity his brain consumed when plotting the next heist didn't even allow him to sleep when being tucked in with Y/N laying over his chest. But she never had the same issue before!

That's how it worked. She got mad because he wasn't sleeping and would reproach his ears off until he folded and left his papers to join her in bed. So, it was safe to say Kaz was startled when he noticed the absence of steps approaching his office. The clock read the time to be a quarter past midnight. He learned by endlessly scolding from you the hard way it was no use staying up late for a job when he had pretty much everything prepared, so he dropped everything and left to his room.

"Darling, are you-" his question was answered as he opened the door and saw her drawing on the little desk he got for her. "Hmm, hi love. It's quite early. What are you doing here?" Kaz wanted to laugh at that. Had she really lost notion of time that badly? "It's past midnight now, Y/N. What are you working on?" His shirt was discarded in some chair, along with his coat.

He was now in his dress pants and a black sleep blouse, leaning over the back of her chair to see the canvas. It was a picture of the sea, surely an image she hadn't been able to get out of her head after the quick trip you took to the docks with Wylan to ensure a better hiding spot, in case things went south on Saturday.

"I don't know if I'm getting the blues right... you know how it somehow turns gray when the day's rainy?" she wondered out loud. "Don't throw it away altogether, I know you're already thinking about it" "I'm not!" Y/N giggled, knowing fully her boyfriend could read her mind. "Fix it in the morning. Let's go to bed now, yes?" Kaz tried, tilting his head to her right side and nudging his nose a little on her cheek as she hummed in response.

It had taken a long time, many years, to reach these moments. Years of hoping she could one day have his arms draped around her waist in security, head on his chest without a care in the world, because all that really mattered was they'd be keeping each other warm with their bodies. Y/N was patient, not minding the baby-steps and Kaz's constant need to push her away because he thought she deserved better. Truth is, there was no one better for her.

Kaz had a hard time wrapping his head around this fact. Did you love him for him? A limping criminal who was too weak to even bear the thought of embracing you when tears streamed down your cheeks on a specially tough day? Why? It took convincing, long talks, difficult moments and even worse fights... but you made it.

She felt his steady heartbeat as they lay together in their silk black sheets, indulging in the beauty of it. Their breathings became one, and she swore there was no better place the saints could come up with as heaven. "Everything's ready?" "Yes, I figured I should come here with you instead of overthinking it all. I'll tell everyone the plan tomorrow and revise it again the day before" he took a deep breath, turning to face her and leaving a soft kiss on her lips.

"It's late, you don't seem tired" Kaz noted, Y/N's eyes nowhere near closing as they usually would by now. Her boyfriend, on the contrary, was starting to hide that beautiful icy green his irises held, then came a yawn to confirm his fatigue. "Rest, my love. I'm sure I'm not too far behind," she assured him, pecking his head as he lay on her chest now.

"Goodnight, Kaz".

˚ · • . ° .

It may as well have been minutes, or hours, days, for all she cared to reason. All she knew was that she couldn't sleep for the life of her. Kaz moved a lot in his sleep and after he lost hold of her, the night became a non-stop tossing and turning in their shared bed. She could hear the faint sound of carriages passing down their street, surely carrying some rich merchant who just had the night of his life betting or in one of the pleasure houses.

It had been a while since she felt this way. Pretty much every night prior Kaz offered her a permanent position on the crows after she worked with them was like this. The clock in their room, hanging on a wall distant from her, kept ticking and if it got quiet enough, she could've been able to hear the gears turning. Three in the bloody morning and Y/N had luckily gotten by far twenty minutes of sleep. The girl sighed and lay down again, looking up at the ceiling briefly before closing her eyes in hopes of resting a little more.

She didn't, not even in the days ahead. Kaz pointed out how he could feel her moving way more than usual as his a light sleeper, not blaming her whatsoever but more concerned as to what was keeping her up. Y/N didn't know either, so she figured solving it with Jesper's coffee and quick (very ineffective) naps on the couches and tables at the slat so she could at least be aware of the task at hand; the job.

The day came, and she felt very optimistic about it all. Truth is, Y/N loved dressing up with pretty dresses and daggers hidden around her thighs. She found some kind of satisfaction in keeping this knowledge to herself, the men and women throwing looks at her, completely unaware of how dangerous she happened to be. People on the streets knew her as the wild child... ruthlessly gorgeous, is what Kaz called her.

The girl had a habit of getting carried away in a fight. Too much anger and resentment for the past had to find an exit. It did when she killed, leaving a scared Jesper to deal with an even more scared Wylan who wouldn't dare look her in the eye for weeks after she kept on punching a man's face she saw was trying to kidnap a little girl right after a job years ago. Kaz helped and understood.

His revenge was calculating and took years in which she was by her side, but Y/N just couldn't help herself when it came down to the people who did unspeakable things to her. With the years, she got a hold of herself even though her nickname on the barrel stuck, adding "the crow queen" when word got around she was Brekker's girl. Now, she was still ruthless but way more cold-headed and grounded, Kaz's doing.

She wore a pink dress with embroidered roses around the floaty sleeves. Inej had a blue set of dress pants and shirt, long-sleeved as well as Nina sported a hot red strapless dress with a lot of cleavage. "We're a smoke show! Those fuckers will barely be able to keep their eyes off of us." The last one squealed, adjusting her hair "That's the point" Inej giggled, agreeing clearly as she looked at herself in the mirror.

Y/N laughed at the thought and her head pained a little; Girls on those big houses did the very same thing they were doing now, with very different intentions. Those ladies wanted to find a rich husband, and they'd be set. Her friends were dressed to kill, and so was she. A little fucked up version of a cliché she, too, wished to live when she was little. "I hope these sleeves aren't an issue" she wondered, picturing them getting stuck on their knife or maybe being too tight to throw a punch.

"It's a simple job, love. There's nothing to be worried about! Also, I can bet on my life Kaz is going to be drooling over you when he sees." Nina smiled, playfully smacking her shoulder. "Even more so if you fight in that, he's going to go insane" spoke the Suli girl with a giggle "Kinky" the heartrender added, making the girlfriends break in a fit of laughter. Nina was right, Y/N knew, but decided against confirming her friend's assumptions.

Her eyes felt droopy from the obvious lack of sleep but nothing a cup of coffee couldn't fix, right? She walked down the stairs and into the makeshift kitchen they owned, heating up some. The smell filled her body with pleasant chills, and suddenly some more energy invaded her. "Wacha got there?" asked Wylan, who was quietly sitting behind her. How long had he been there? How did she not notice?

"Coffee, want some?" "Right before a job?" "Yes, I haven't been sleeping too well the last couple of days". Certain zemeni voice erupted from outside the room, exclaiming a brief "Neither have us!" that had the merchling blushing like he got some contagious disease. Y/N delivered a pat on his back, and coffee in hand she exited the room.

Kaz gathered everyone in the living room, to revise the plan once more. "...so make sure you cover that corn-" He stopped mid-sentence when Y/N came into view. Her hair looked polished, but she could be bald for all he cared. The dress complimented her figure beautifully, adjusting in the right places, which to Kaz was any place, really. Inej and Nina giggled and high fived. "Go on, love." She smiled, ready to listen attentively at his plan even though he made sure to walk her through it personally a few hours ago.

As Y/N brushed next to him, he grabbed her hand to make her stop right before she got seated. "You're stunning. Is it comfortable?" he whispered, looking at her with a certain glow in his eyes he once thought lost. "Yes, dear. Thank you" she pecked her boy's cheek and took a seat behind him. He went on with the plan, and everyone seemed pretty much ready to leave.

So they did.

˚ · • . ° .

"Darling, watch out!" Jesper exclaimed, shooting at a man behind Y/N. Things went south, they did. In the hiding spot Wylan and the girl had settled; some dreg must've ratted, they guessed. An ambush from some new-forming band trying to get known by stealing from The Crows themselves, pathetic. Inej had gotten there to help, but Y/N and Jesper insisted she went back and warned the others so to spare them from possible damage.

The wild child and Jesper were a great team, who knew a durast and an avid fighter could take down men three times their size and weight? They proved on many occasions to be useful for situations as these, so there was no problem. They'd be out of there in the blink of an eye. Around ten people had arrived at the scene, and four remained, Y/N realized as she took a kick in the gut and fell on her back, jumping back on her feet with a flip.

Jes' revolvers did the job for two others as she managed with the guy in front of her. "Come on, big guy, that can't be the best you got, aye?" she smiled wickedly, taunting the man with a daring hand despite the very much broken rib she could feel. The dress was ruined with blood she was sure wasn't hers, shreds ripped it off so largely one of her legs was now exposed.

He lunged forward, coming with a dirty blade to her throat, and she skipped it. Came again, now, aiming for her arm and she skipped it again, landing a kick on the throat that left him coughing on the ground. Y/N crouched to his level and grabbed him by the hair, sliding a knife in the same spot, careful not to cut. She noticed a tattoo on his neck, a beaver. Couldn't help but laugh. "You tell your boss not to mess around with us, or next time he won't get too lucky as to get less than half of his men in one piece. And change the tattoo, a bloody beaver? Seriously?"

The man nodded furiously, tripping on his way out of the warehouse. "A beaver? Their thing is beavers?" Jesper laughed, putting his babies back in place and making sure the painting they had stolen was still with him. "I know, couldn't pick a funnier thing" she answered, giggling. Looking around, something was odd. Yes, Y/N was not very well educated and lacked the month of college her best friend had, but she thought she counted four men remaining in this spot of the building.

The other six lay limp near the door, and there were two next to them, plus the one who ran with the message. One was missing. "Hey Jes I think we're missing one" "What do you mean? There's no one here". She stopped listening and her world went quiet when he met his yes. A lanky, tall figure could be seen next to a stack of boxes on her right, a flicking light revealing him for brief intervals of time. Ugly motherfucker carrying a gun that pointed straight at her.

The blood started gushing out of her leg before she could even react. "Too slow" she faintly heard. He wasn't stopping either; shooting at various places until one loud boom next to her made it cease. Was concrete always this cold? Oh, she was now feeling Jesper's soft suit. Warmer. "Is that wool?" Y/N asked and realized her voice sounded a little quieter than she meant. "Yes, it is doll. Open your eyes for me, okay? You can't die on me now"

She really tried. She really wanted to look at her best friends face and maybe hear him crack a joke or two. But her eyes felt droopy and her head felt heavy so she finally fell asleep.

˚ · • . ° .

Kaz arrived minutes later, Wylan, Nina and Inej by his side as they all rushed to a crying Jesper, desperately trying to wake Y/N up. "S-she got shot, didn't flinch.. like she didn't even see the bastard," he hiccuped, letting his boss take his place next to a limp body as his boyfriend helped him up and hugged him tightly.

Brekker's head spun. A thousand possibilities. There was blood all over the dress, and leaking over his clothes but he couldn't give a fuck. Not her. He couldn't bare it. Y/N was a piece of heaven in that saint forsaken island, the only saint he ever believed in and the angel that saved him from himself. If he lost her, there was no coming back for him. The water rose to his nose again for a brief moment.

It hadn't happened in a while. And he chose the techniques his lover taught him. He acted. "Nina" he mumbled, taking Y/N on his arms as the grisha girl assured him she had a pulse. His legs carried him to the slat, never too far from Nina, as she was making sure her pulse didn't slow down too much. He didn't even notice the pain in his bad leg. He felt a sting on his heart, so sharp it seemed as if pieces of broken glass would poke through it at any moment.

The boy sent Inej looking for whatever idiot decided it was a good idea to try and steal from them. Only information. He'd take care of them later. The Wraith left and was out all night, returning with a lot to say the next morning. Kaz looked over at Y/N's face and the utter peace that brushed over her features scared him even more. Not now. Not like this.

"Is she going to be okay? T-there was definitely something wrong with her back there" Jesper started once the girl was on the bed and getting healed with a few healers in the dregs and Nina. Kaz was sitting, head propped up in his hands as he stared at the wall opposite from him. "She didn't move! At all! He shot her three times and looked amused while doing it". The zemeni man had to stop if he wasn't trying to reunite with the other deceased blessed people on his bloodline. Kaz's stare hardened and his jaw clenched tightly.

"Wylan, I can't lose her. She was too slow a-" "ENOUGH" Kaz stood up, looking at him with murder in his eyes. "If you were more aware of the surroundings, she would be fine. Don't you dare call her slow. This is not her fault. You should've been there" menacing gloved finger pointing to his friend. "Oh, so this is my problem now?" Jesper countered in complete disbelief. "If you don't consider your best friend's life being at critical risk a problem you're much more of a superficial, incompetent and heartless bastard than I thought." Kaz spat.

He knew this wasn't Jesper's fault, maybe it was the lack of sleep or you just weren't on your element. But he had to let it out with someone. Anyone. Pain turns into anger and screaming at your brother when it's too strong. He knew that better than anyone and couldn't care to stop himself this time. "Kaz, stop" Wylan said, and then he noticed Jesper's puffy eyes with a sigh. Then he felt his own neck starting to tickle. He was crying. Kaz Brekker didn't cry.

"Out" "But Ka-" "I SAID OUT"

And out they were. Everyone who didn't need to be there to save his girl's life. He could hear Nina struggling between wrecked sobs, fast pacing around the room and a distant sound of water running non-stop. Hours passed, and he remained in the same position, in the same chair, with the same thoughts running wild inside him.

Not you. Please. I should've been there. I'm going to kill them. Please be okay. I can't do it without her. Please.

Kaz Brekker was repeating pleas, thinking out loud to whoever was listening. Let her live. Please let her live. This is not her fault. Not to a god, neither to those saints who proved to exist so many years ago. He didn't know who he was asking for help to. But he was screaming, please don't let her go. He was leaving with her if she did.

All sound stopped, and Nina emerged from the dimly lit room, drying her cheeks. The boy stood up, looking at her with the most terrified look he ever gave someone. Fuck the facade. He was utterly afraid. "She's okay, not waking up, but she will". He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and couldn't help but throw himself into Nina's arms in search for some comfort to his wrecked sobs.

His friend received him with open arms, careful not to squeeze him too hard, as she knew that could trigger him. "I can't lose her, Nina" he whimpered before pulling away. "You're not. Not now and not soon. She's okay, Kaz. Stay with her, will you? She could be a little startled if she wakes up in an empty room"

He almost scoffed at that. What else would he do? A quiet nod was delivered, and he stepped inside to accompany her in an uncharacteristically unsettling silence. There were dirty gauzes everywhere, her dirty dress discarded in a corner and a blanket covering her figure. Kaz stopped, looking at your chest. It rose and fell in a moderate rhythm. Good.

Taking a seat once again, he held her hand and brushed a thumb over it, grateful to whoever listened. And Nina.

Sun bled through the curtains, filling it all with a pleasant orange hue Kaz knew Y/N would appreciate. Jesper came by every few hours and amends were made. He understood how badly everything hit Kaz the day before and didn't need an apology. They were all under intense pressure the day before, couldn't blame him for a such a reaction. Wylan had brought flowers and Inej made sure everything was ready for when she regained consciousness.

His crows got it handled.

A whole day and a half had gone by and he was reading beside her when she woke up. Her hand moved and he could feel the twitch in his palm, looking up frantically to find those pretty y/e/c eyes looking back at him. "Finally, got some sleep," she joked and laughed at her own joke. Kaz laughed back. "Hello" he offered, kissing her hand and never really wanting to let go "Hi". "Are you feeling okay?" the boy asked, happy to see his lover once again awake.

"It hurts a bit but I'll live" "I'm counting on that, my love". ♡

[kazcreates]

Hunger Games AU

I’m rewatching the Hunger Games, which means you all have to see as I throw yet another HG AU into the world. No, there are not enough already.

Kaz Brekker won his games at 13 years old. He’d volunteered for his brother, Jordie. Jordie had been 17, just about to age out of Reaping age. And yet, his name had been called when those papers were drawn from that stupid glass bowl. Kaz’s name had been in there 53 times, Jordie’s only 10. Despite being the runt of the litter, even in the Barrel District, Kaz had volunteered. And he’d won. He fought like a wild dog, with his nails and teeth. When they pulled him out and crowned him Victor, he’d thought at very least that he’d be going home to his brother. That all of it would have been worth it. He arrived back home to an empty house and an unmarked grave. He’d torn the house to pieces, leaving hardly more than its four walls intact. It had been home for a Victor, and Kaz hadn’t felt like he’d won much of anything. He became a mentor after that, and a good one too. But the Capitol never did quite trust him.

Inej Ghafa won her Games the following year. She was Kaz’s first tribute; although she had not technically been born in his District, her name had been reaped all the same. She had refused to fight, those first few days in the training center. Kaz hadn’t forced her. But he showed her what would happen to her if she chose not to fight. Recordings of the Games were kept for tributes to study, and he had not spared her any detail, had not allowed her to look away from the screen. She agreed to learn how to use a knife after that. She spent most of her Games hiding. Well, maybe that wasn’t the right word. She was not hiding, not out of fear, she was stalking. Tributes would fall with silver knives sticking from their throats, knives that had seemingly come from nowhere. She’d suffered at the hands of the Capitol after being crowned Victor. No one could deny the Capitol their darling.

Jesper Fahey was Kaz’s second tribute. A farm boy with a knack for shooting. There were no guns in the Games, that’d make it too easy, but he could shoot an arrow well enough. Kaz trained him hard, even harder than he’d trained Inej. Because while Inej could rely on her ability to disappear, Jesper was difficult to hide. The Capitol enjoyed his charismatic jokes, which helped Kaz get him enough sponsorships to win him the Games. The life of a Victor didn’t suit him and his father, but the gambling halls kept his mind off the memories.

Nina Zenik was the District One tribute during the following year, which happened to be a Quarter Quell. She was trained to kill since she was a child. They’d supressed her powers before letting her loose in the arena. It would be unfair to put a Grisha against Otkazat'sya. Not that she’d needed luck. A begrudging alliance formed between the careers, just like every other year. But this year was different. This year, the last two standing, regardless of district, would go home Victors. She’d taken a liking to Matthias Helvar, despite the fact that he seemed very keen on betraying her, and was determined to win with him by her side.

Matthias Helvar was the District Two tribute during the Quarter Quell. He’d been trained to leave no survivors, regardless of District. The Quarter Quell would allow two Victors, and he was determined to go home with the second District Two tribute. He didn’t know her, but she was Fjerdan, he didn’t need to know her. Allowing Nina to watch his back, he’d planned to betray her once the numbers had dwindled. He hadn’t calculated falling for the District One tribute. They were both crowned Victor, and became mentors in their respective Districts. Matthias avoided Nina as much as he could, the guilt of losing his district partner to save the life of a Grisha weighing heavily on his shoulders.

Wylan Van Eck was Capitol-born through and through. He had grown up oblivious to the struggles of the Districts. But when he had been deemed a disappointment by his father, he was forced into becoming a stylist for the Games. He worked with the tributes from the Barrel District. As a stylist, he was forced to watch the Games, watch the violence and brutality. He’d watch alongside Kaz as the tributes fell. If the Bastard of the Barrel was feeling particularly charitable, he’d tell Wylan when to close his eyes and avoid the worst of it. He wanted the Games gone, but with a Gamemaker as a father, he didn’t have much of a choice but to do what he was told, unless he wanted to end up in the arena too.

[rainydaymiscellaneous]

I hate to ask again but I had and idea. Also the last one was so cute thank you. If you can can you please write a Kaz Brekker x reader where the reader is in love with this book but no one has read is so they have no one to talk to about it so Kaz reads it and starts a conversation about it with the reader and they get really happy and start ranting about it to him and he’s just happy to sit and listen to them and make comments from time to time

Dude, send me all the requests for our boy Kazzle Dazzle your ideas are so creative!

Book Club (Kaz x reader)

He needed an opening. Just one solid reason to actually talk to you. You had been in the Dregs for years now and Kaz was still struggling to even breathe around you. He had this crush on you that he refused to admit was there. Inej saw it, even dumbass Jesper saw it.

You'd assume that Kaz was mute if it hadn't been for your presence in the Dregs. You had been there for a long time but disappeared on a mission far off for three years. The room above Kaz had been vacant and then suddenly it had life. Kaz had no idea anyone even lived above him until you knocked on his door your first night back and asked him to join you for tea.

There you sat on a nice couch with a cup of chamomile. Kaz was perplexed by who you were and why the fuck you wanted to drink glorified leaves in water.

"Why am I here?" He asked.

"You tell me." You said, sipping from your cup. Kaz furrowed his brow.

"You asked me to have tea with you." He said, watching you with those daggers for eyes.

"You didn't have to say yes." You shrugged.

"I did."

"You did not." "I did." He said. "Okay then, why did you have to accept?" You asked. He sighed, looking at you with his gloved hands gripping his cane.

"Because I needed to know who was suddenly living in the room above me." He said. You rose a brow.

"You could've asked Inej to investigate." You said. He blinked.

"You know Inej?" He asked.

"I've been in the Dregs for three years, of course I know your main lot. Inej, Jesper, Nina, Wylan and that off-putting convict Mattias." You said.

Kaz was confused. How did you know so much but he was ignorant to you? How did he not know who you were?

"I'm a sharpshooter. I use that-" you pointed to a rifle on the mantle "rifle to kill whoever you want dead." You said.

"Why do I not know you?" Kaz asked.

"I was off in Shu Han for Haskell." You said. "For what?" Kaz asked.

"You do your business, I'll do mine." You said.

He liked that response. It meant you'd keep any secret that slipped through your ears. "I will work for you when you need me. Say the word, I will be there no questions asked unless one of ours is bleeding." You said.

"Why tea?" He asked. "We easily could've done this over something less detestable."

You chuckled. "You've not had the right tea then." You said with that smile.

That fucking smile. From that moment on Kaz was hooked. He couldn't help it. It was hard to not fall in love with someone like you. You were always there when he needed you, apparently you had taken some training on stealth from Inej, leaning to be one with the dark making you even more deadly.

But for the deadly persona that the streets simply knew as "the bullet", you were a gentle person. Kaz often noticed you with stray animals, seeing that kind smile. The one that made Kaz at a loss for words. You'd often make that same smile at Kaz when you'd pass him with a gentle "hi boss."

Sure, technically Per Haskell was the "boss". You however knew damn well Kaz was the brains behind everything. You had become close with the other members of the Dregs, including Inej who called you a sister. She loved being around you. You gave good advice and that was probably why the rest of the group would flock to you.

So there you all were, your head in Jesper's lap as you read. Kaz had noticed your sudden interest in this, everytime he saw you, you had that book in hand now. Wylan looked over at you.

"Care to join the game?" He asked.

"I'm good." You said, turning the page.

"You've been reading that for two weeks now, come up for air." Inej said.

"I need to know if Alistair lives Inej, the prophecy is strongly implying he will die and I don't think Cousland can handle him dying." You muttered, reading.

"None of that made any sense." Nina said.

"It'll make sense if one of you would at least read it." You said.

"We're all too busy. Kaz keeps giving us stupid b&e's.(breaking and entering)" Jesper said.

"Not all of you are busy though. Wylan?" You said.

"Kaz has been training me for lockpicking." Wylan said.

"He take you to the financial district?" You asked, looking up.

"Once or twice." He shrugged.

"Course he did. Best place to practice." You said before going back to your book.

"Alright, who's in?" Jesper asked.

Inej noticed Kaz at the bar, occasionally looking over at you. "I'm out." She said.

Inej made her way to him and he cleared his throat, turning back to his drink. It looked like scotch but the smell... it wasn't scotch it was tea.

"Didn't you say that tea was just leaves in water that is hot?" Inej asked.

"I hadn't drank the right tea." Kaz said, looking at the glass with vacant eyes. Inej recognized the expression. Kaz was at war with himself, as usual.

He never handled his innermost feelings well, especially the ones that left him vulnerable. And what was more vulnerable than love? You were a plague to his mind, always there. When it wasn't your face that he was smiling internally at, it was your laugh. When it wasn't your laugh it was your smile and so on. He wanted so badly to talk to you like he once did over tea but he didn't think it was a good idea.

You were just so perfect in his eyes. So beautiful, so smart. If he tried to converse, he'd make an ass of himself. He needed an opening something fierce. Something to give him a reason to talk to you instead of "hey, your face is anestheticly pleasing to look at, which I do. Frequently. Without you knowing."

"You're staring at your glass mighty hard there." Inej said. Kaz looked up. "You should just talk to her." She said.

"It's not that easy." He muttered.

"I do it all the time." Inej said with an eyeroll.

"Because you are friends. You know her. I am not that lucky." He said.

"You do know her." Inej said.

"Not like that. I know her from afar. Where it's safe." He said, drinking the glass.

"Kaz, she's right there. Just talk to her." Inej said.

You got up, stretching with a yawn. "I'm heading out " You said to Inej.

"Kaz will go with you!" Inej volunteered.

If looks could kill, Inej would've been six feet under at that moment Kaz glared at her.

"Alright..?" You said confused. Kaz sighed looking at Inej and then you before standing up.

He walked out with you, noticing the dark clouds that hung in the sky. "Looks like it might rain" he said.

"Good reading weather." You said.

"You're usually reading nowadays." Kaz said.

"It's a nice escape from things when they get too intense." You shrugged.

"What is it that you're reading now?" He asked.

If you were a dog, your ears would've perked up. "It's amazing- it's about this girl who joins this legendary army and has to rebuild what was-... Sorry." You cleared your throat.

"Why are you apologizing?" He asked.

"Well apparently everyone thinks I talk too much about this book." You said.

"Who said that?"

"Well Nina." He'd kill her

"And Jesper." He'd shoot him with his own guns

"And Inej." Wait what?

"And pretty much anyone who asks me." You finished.

"Wow." Was all Kaz could muster for words.

You shrugged. "I wish they'd just listen to me and read the damn book." You said.

"Why do you think they haven't?" He asked.

"They're all busy. They have their own lives and I have mine. It's nothing personal, I know. But I just wish sometimes I could talk to someone about it and have them actually know what I'm talking about." You said walking.

Kaz then realized this was it. This was his perfect excuse to get closer. "What's the name of the book?" He asked curiously.

"Rise of the Grey Wardens. Why?" You asked.

"I figured I could read it." He shrugged.

Your eyes lit up and Kaz felt intense joy. He made you happy. He actually made you happy. He didn't mean to but he did and my god were you adorable to him when you were beaming. "Then I know where we should go!" You said walking ahead of him.

Instinctively he followed. "Where are we going?" He asked.

You looked back, a breeze blowing your hair in such a beautiful way as you turned to him. "My favorite place in Ketterdam."

He asked no more questions after that, just following you quietly through backstreets. Kaz watched you approach a side door to a building, knocking on it rhythmically. The door open, an older woman smiling at you.

"Weren't you just here a few days ago?" She asked.

"I brought a friend." You said with a smile, stepping back and motioning for Kaz to introduce himself. Kaz couldn't help but feel a little giddy of your use of 'friend'.

"I'm-"

"I know." She said. She didn't say it with disdain though, which shocked him. "You're the reason we're still open. Come on in Mister Brekker."

He didn't know what that meant but accepted the invitation, walking in. "Do you have another copy of 'Rise of the Grey Wardens'?" You asked.

"I do, why did you burn through your other copy?" She asked.

"Mister Brekker wishes to read." You said with a grin. Kaz's eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room. Bookshelves lined the walls both on the first and second floor of the building. There must've been thousands of books in front of Kaz.

"Here you are mister Brekker." The woman said.

"Thank you er..."

"Miriam." She said with a nod and a kind smile. She gave off the feeling of a doting grandmother with how fond she seemed of you. "Right! Y/n dear, I made some sugar biscuits if you'd like to try them" she said. You seemed to have found your way upstairs when you responded back with a

"Be right down!"

You returned with a new book in hand and Miriam grinned as Kaz took the book. "I see you've found the sequel." She said. You had the biggest grin.

"I had no clue it was a series." You admitted.

"The second one tends to be slow but it is vital for the third." She said, handing you a cookie.

You smiled, taking it. "Thank you. How much do I owe you?" You asked.

"Nothing. It's on the house." She declared.

"Miriam, if you ever wanted to apply for sainthood, I do believe you to be eligible." You said making her laugh.

"Thank the saints you didn't know me in my youth." She teased making you laugh. Kaz couldn't explain it. Usually smalltalk annoyed him but something about this was nice to him. You and Miriam seemed to have a tight bond.

"We should go, it does look like it'll rain." You said, peaking out a window. Kaz nodded but Miriam held her hand up before handing you and Kaz paper bags.

"For the road." She told the both of you. You gave her a kind smile before walking back to the door. "One moment Mister Brekker." She halted. Kaz turned around as Miriam motioned for him to lean forward for them to whisper. "Keep her safe, will you? There's not many a good person in Ketterdam but she's one of them." She said.

Kaz with possibly the sweetest look of adoration he could muster simply said "I will, Miss Miriam." Before he followed you out. The two of you began your trek back to the Slat. "How long have you known Miriam?" Kaz asked.

"Going on ten years now. Saved her cat from a town fire, she's been grateful since." You said, opening the paperbag and pulling a cookie out. Miriam gave you both cookies. Maybe Miriam was just a village grandma.

"Has any of the others met her?" He asked.

You shook your head. "You'd be the first I've shown to the Archive." You said.

"Why me?" Kaz asked as a crack of thunder sounded off.

"Because you asked me about what I read." You said before walking into the Slat.

Kaz winded up spending a good week reading that book. You were right, it was an amazing story. When he finished, he had that same urge that you did to discuss it.

All of the crows were back in the club, this time Kaz and you both playing a round of poker. Jesper hated this. You were way too good at poker and kept winning, hand after hand. You had a nice stack of chips. Inej seeing your smirk as you leaned back in your chair.

"I win again!" You said.

"Why is this so hard?" Wylan asked.

"Because Y/n is way too good at this." Jesper groaned, smacking his head on the table. Nina sighed.

"I need a drink. A very large one." She said.

"I've got my own little army of chips." You said, stacking them.

"You could rebuild the Cousland estate with your winnings." Kaz said, you looking up slightly shocked. "Course, I could always pull a Howe and, y'know. Knock it down." Kaz added.

You looked bewildered as Inej rose a brow.

"Kay, is it just me, or did none of that make sense?" Jesper asked.

"You just made a reference." You said.

"I did." Kaz nodded.

"You finished it."

"I did."

"And!?"

"You were right. The book is fantastic, I could not put it down." Kaz said.

Inej and Jesper exchanged a look.

"Fuck poker. We need to discuss the book NOW!" You said excitedly.

"Yes! Put me out of my misery!" Jesper said.

Kaz looked at him and then you. "Let's have tea." He suggest. Nina's eyes went wide as she realized what was happening before her, her looking at Inej who had a smile on her face.

"I'm grabbing my coat! Let's go!" You said getting up. Kaz followed you as you practically bounced out the door with excitement.

Nina gaped. "How long has he been in love with her!?" She asked as the door closed.

"Oh a while now, like since she got back." Wylan shrugged.

Jesper and Inej looked at Wylan as he moved your chips.

"You knew?" Inej asked.

"It'd take a blind man not to see."

You ended up back at the Slat, sitting cross legged on your sofa. You two must've discussed the book for hours, Kaz loving every moment of it as he heard you passionately talk about the story.

You sighed with a smile. "It's funny, I didn't think you liked me." You said, looking at your empty tea cup.

Kaz rose a brow. "Why did you think that?" He asked.

"You just seemed so... I dunno. Angry that I returned." You said.

"I wasn't."

"But you seemed it."

"I didn't know who you were. I was on my guard" he said. You rose a brow.

"You're not anymore?" You asked. Kaz bared a gentle expression that made your heart almost explode inside your chest.

"I'm not. You're one of the few I trust. The only I'd trust with my entire being." He said. Kaz didn't have faith in a lot of things. But he had faith in you and it showed. He looked at you. "Do you trust me?" He asked.

You gave him a look of pure adoration. "Of course." You said. You had spent your life reading books about the greatest romances of all time. You'd get lost in those stories of how the man always loved the girl but she didn't realize it until a pivotal moment.

"Kaz... you said you trusted me." You breathed. "Please. Please let my intuition be right." You thought to yourself as Kaz gave you a questioning look. "Do you... love me?"

Your question hung in the air for what felt like the longest minute of your life. Kaz definitely seemed caught way off his guard by the question, his eyes widening the second he realized what was happening.

This entire time he has been hoping for an opening to talk to you. A moment to truly get to know you. Well he got one. And he fell in love with every bit of you. He swallowed hard.

"Forget that I asked, I am so sorr-" "I do." He said.

You blinked. "What?"

"I love you." He said. Your jaw must've hit the floor. You knew how guarded this man was. You heard that any semblance of vulnerability was practically impossible from Kaz and yet here he was. Being the most vulnerable he could be with you.

You looked at him before getting up. He thought his words might've done something bad. Maybe you didn't want his love. Maybe he had misinterpreted everything, maybe he was a fool for thinking there was-

You kneeled in front of him. "Kaz, may... Uhm... May I touch you?" You asked. With hesitation he nodded as your hand gently held his cheek. The touch of humans was deeply unsettling to Kaz. That feeling brought him back to a place he never wanted to be in ever again and yet somehow...

Somehow your gentle touch made him feel safe. If it had been anyone else he'd probably be in the process of murdering the fool who touched him. But it was you. You were like an angel on earth to him.

"When I look at you, do you know what I see?" You asked softly.

"No." He muttered.

"I see someone else who's been through hell and came out on the other side." You held his hands, Kaz looking in your eyes. "We've suffered long enough and we deserve to be happy." You said softly.

Kaz had a momentary loss of control. He kissed you, you leaning into his touch. He pulled away with wide eyes. "I am so sorry-" "shut up and kiss me Brekker."

The next day you were at the crow club reading at the bar next to Inej. Jesper yawned. "It's a boring day. Wish Kaz would give us something to do. By this point I'll take a fucking b&e." He whined.

Kaz, as if he were summoned, walked through the doors of the crow club, sitting on your other side. For once, Inej watched you put your book down as you gave a gentle smile to Kaz. "Hello" you said.

The dead give away that something had changed was the fact that Kaz smiled. He actually smiled back at you. "Hello." He said softly.

Inej and Jesper swapped shocked looks. "Y/n, do you mind helping me with this? It's a rifle mod and I wanna make sure I've got the measurements right." Wylan asked. You looked over.

"Alright." You said walking off.

Jesper and Inej looked at Kaz who now had a drink in his hand. "What the hell happened last night!?" Jesper asked.

"Nothing important." Kaz shrugged.

"We just had tea."

[petertingle-yipyip]

STRANGER (xi) - KAZ BREKKER

tags: @beekeepingageissome  @shadowzena43 @nikfigueiredo @mp-littlebit @starmansirius @hadesnumber1daughter @directioner5life @strvngestark @hostilityghost @ofmenanduhhhwellmen @justnerdystuffs @faeriepigeons // previously // next

Pairing: Kaz x Davina Rollins (enemies to lovers)

Word Count: 6,204

Summary: Friends become allies. Ghosts die again. War against her bloodline threatens more than her own Snakes. How much can the Dime Lions try to take before Davina truly breaks?

“I’m getting really tired of being here.” You complained and rested against the side of his desk. He stood across from you and ran a gloved hand through his hair. “We should meet in my office one of these days.”

“We should stop meeting like this in general.” He scolded and you frowned at him.

“I know you wouldn’t dare meet me under any other circumstance.”

Hurt flashed across his features and you regretted your words for a second. “Why are you here?” He asked instead.

“I just wanted to see your glowing smile, Kazzle.” You said sarcastically.

“Cute.” He rolled his eyes.

“I needed something from Haskell, and now I have it. Can I leave?”

“Haskell isn’t here.”

“Exactly.”

“So you stole it from his office?”

“Steal, borrow without permission. He won’t even notice. Who cares?” You shrugged. “It doesn’t involve you.”

“Everything that happens here involves me.”

“Does ‘here’ mean the Crow Club or Ketterdam?” You cocked your head. “Because when I asked you for help a few days ago, you said the Dregs weren’t yours. And if you mean Ketterdam, then what happened to Melli involves you too and you’re choosing to do nothing.”

Kaz tilted his face towards the ceiling and muttered a complaint before looking at you again. You straightened and raised your eyebrows expectantly, waiting for his response. He kept your gaze for a moment before his eyes dropped to your folded arms beneath your cloak.

You hugged the stolen bottle a little closer.

He made a small sound of satisfaction before he moved around you. You spun with his movements to keep him in front of you.

“What did you find out?” Kaz asked.

“What makes you think that?” You countered smoothly.

“You haven’t worn the cloak in weeks, Vina. Not since the night you came to the Slat.”

“I didn’t go to the Slat. I was near the Slat and you invited me in.” You corrected, as if it made that much of a difference.

“You also wouldn’t risk pissing off Haskell for nothing.” He tapped your hidden arms. “What do you need this for?”

You pushed off the desk and sat in the nearby chair. You kept one arm around the bottle and the other came free to flick some of the loose hair out of your face. Kaz watched you with vested interest and you couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. He watched your expression for something as he came and leaned on the desk beside you.

“Do you remember the cafe from when we were kids?” You asked. You attempted to sound casual but the context of the conversation gave your intentions away almost instantly.

Both you and Kaz knew it, though neither of you acknowledged it. He just nodded quietly.

“Well, I heard that Pekka has Melli there. I looked into it and the intel checked out. Two Lions I could see and at least four more inside.” You explained.

“Did you see Melli?”

“No…”

“And how did you come upon this information?”

“You remember Filip? Had the little wind-up dogs?”

He smirked slightly. “I killed him.”

You tilted your head quickly. You weren’t surprised in the slightest.

“That tracks.” You nodded. “Well, his son Vicente is a Lion and he told me.”

“You sought him out?” Kaz’s brows raised in accusation. “Could you be any stupider, Davina? Truly.”

“Thank you, for that.” You rolled your eyes. 

“What was it then? Just strolled by and he told you everything?”

“Absolutely not.” You laughed. “I didn’t even know he was still around, let alone with Pekka. He came to me, same as an interesting little demo expert.”

“Hmm. So that’s where Wylan ran off to.” He feigned disinterest.

“So it seems.” You shrugged with the same nonchalance. “Regardless, Wylan’s working on a couple things and I’ll make sure he’s fairly compensated. Trust that he won’t come back empty-handed.”

“I wasn’t worried about that.”

“So you admit you’re worried about something?” You teased and he half-smiled at you. “Does Dirtyhands have a conscience after all?”

“Not exactly… Vina, how do you know you can trust the Lion?”

“Kol asked me the same thing.” You confessed. “And honestly, Kaz, I don’t. But he can’t exactly waltz back into the Emerald Palace like nothing happened.”

“Why not?”

“I may or may not have carved off his tattoo.”

For a split second, he was surprised.

“It was his idea.” You defended. “He claims he wants to split for the Lions and head to Fjerda.”

“And if he’s lying to you, what will you do?”

“I don’t know.” You confessed. “I know I should kill him just to ensure he can’t double cross me, unless I keep his hostage until this is over.”

“That runs its own set of risks.”

“It’s possible he truly wants to leave, right?”

“He might.” Kaz nodded. “But it’s more likely that he was sent to the Rook to lure you to that cafe. Everything he said that checks out could just be a ruse.”

“I don’t have another choice. It’s the only lead I have and I’ve provoked my father enough. It’s a matter of time before he-“

Someone knocked hard on the door of Kaz’s office. You stood quickly, leaving the bottle of kvas in your chair. Kaz eyed the bottle for a second before looking back at the door. You drew the blade at your thigh and felt the dried blood crack against your palm as you spun it so the blade was parallel against your arm.

Another hard round of knocks and Kaz straightened. He took a step to be at your side just before the door slammed open. You felt a subtle hand at your back and you reached over to tap the back of your hand against his hip. 

You kicked the chair against the desk as two brawny men walked in.

Your grip tightened on your blade as they moved deeper into Kaz’s office. You barely registered Kaz putting himself in front of you, not until he reacted first. He slammed the top of his cane against the first man’s stomach and you sidestepped the altercation to take on the other man.

Immediately, you went for a slash. The blade cut a long, shallow line across the man’s chest and he staggered back. You immediately threw your shoulder against him and the force pushed him against the nearest wall. You moved closer but he reached out and got a hand around your throat. The action caused his sleeve to raise and you saw the edge of a tattoo.

Dime Lions.

You were slammed against the wall in his place. You gasped, feeling the man’s fingers digging into the sides of your neck. Daring a glance over his shoulder, you saw the other Lion slam Kaz’s head against his desk.

You wedged your knee between your bodies and the man simply chuckled. You smiled and flipped the grip of your knife.

The man threw a punch that made your head snap to the side. The taste of blood filled your mouth and your tongue ran along the spot on your cheek that you bit off.  When you raised your knife, the Lion’s free hand shot out and caught your wrist.

You smiled slightly as your other hand went under your cloak for the smaller blade. You freed it quickly before dragging it along the back of the hand around your throat.

He withdrew both hands and you stumbled to the side. You gasped for breaths, throat burning and head pounding. You could feel the warmth of blood flow returning to your head and you blinked away the dizziness. You felt his hand on your arm so you swung both blades wildly. The only indication that your blade made contact was his hiss, then he slammed both massive fists against your back and you fell to the ground behind Kaz’s desk.

You could hear Kaz struggling and your hands fumbled to recollect your blades. You sheathed the longer one at your thigh and clutched the smaller one tightly. You crept around the desk, readying an attack, when that damn voice froze you in place.

“Evening, Mr. Brekker.” Your father spoke and you crouched a little lower.

You used your free hand to tug your hood back into place. You spun carefully on your knee for a better view, strategically putting yourself behind Kaz. Both arms were pinned behind his back but you didn’t miss the subtle movement of his hands.

He was telling you to stay put. You glared at him for a moment, weighing your options. You could throw yourself into another fight, take on both Lions and potentially your father. But you recognized that that idea put Kaz at risk. He wasn’t exactly in a favorable position.

You could wait quietly, as Kaz instructed. It was safer for you both in theory. You saw it as Kaz being a sitting duck and a stubborn bastard. Then again, Kaz had been doing it longer than you had. He had a better mind for strategy.

So you obliged. You sunk down a little lower and listened carefully.

“Tell me what Davi’s planning and we’re even.” Pekka told Kaz.

“Not even close.” Kaz countered angrily. “And what makes you think I know anything?”

You heard a rustling of fabric. “The girl left a little gift in my office. And I know my daughter. Unless someone’s been putting ideas in her head. she’s not cruel enough for this. You, however…”

Vicente’s tattoo.

“Have you ever considered that you’re wrong? Maybe your precious princess isn’t so lovely anymore.”

Kaz groaned slightly and you peeked to see your father pressing the beak of Kaz’s cane against his throat. You tensed, considering your attack, but Kaz gave you the same gesture with a little more urgency.

Don’t. Move. 

“I’ll cave your head in with your own cane and dump your body in the Harbor.” Pekka threatened. “I know she turns to you. She thinks you can protect her.”

“I’d just as easily let her die as she would me.” Kaz spat.

Your stomach twisted at his words and you thought you understood why. Kaz was that little piece of your childhood you held on to, that minuscule tenderness that doesn’t exist in the Barrel. It was your assumption that Kaz held some sort of sentiment towards you, too. Hadn’t he told you so, or at least implied it?

In the moment, you weren’t sure, but it wasn’t the time to worry about it.

Pekka snorted in disbelief. “Tell me, boy. When was the time you saw her?”

“When did you?”

“I'm not playing games.”

“Clearly.”

“My men saw her come here a few nights ago. Why?”

“I. Don’t. Know.” Kaz emphasized each word. “I don’t answer her beck and call, nor do I keep tabs on Davina.”

“I do, and she seems to have a soft spot for this place.”

“I couldn’t care less about your daughter.”

A small commotion, another groan from Kaz, the faint metallic smell of blood. You leaned around to see and the Lion you were fighting earlier caught sight of you. You ducked immediately but it was too late.

You shot a mental apology to Kaz and acted.

You slammed your blade into the side of the incoming man’s knee. You twisted the knife and he shouted. You hooked the other arm around his leg and threw your body to the side so he fell to his back. You pinned your knee against his throat and met your father’s expectant stare.

“There she is.” He smiled.

You had unintentionally proved him right.

“What do you want, Pekka?” You spat, jamming your knee harder against the Lion’s throat.

“You.”

“And you knew I’d be here?”

“More of a hunch… Mellaney keeps asking for you.”

Your blood ran cold. You could feel Kaz’s eyes on you but you didn’t look away from your father. The Lion under your knee was limp so you stood. Your fingers twitched, itching for the other blade at your thigh, but you wanted to do it with your own hands.

You came around the desk and your father stood straight.

“Give me Melli and you can have Vicente back.” You offered flatly. It took everything to keep your rage buried.

“Is that who’s this was?” He nudged the bag at his feet. You glanced down and saw the bloodied skin that was Vicente’s. “This is war now, Davi.”

Your hands balled into tight fists. “No, it became war when I came to your Palace in good faith and you shot me. It became war when you came to the Exchange and bought Stadwatch to try and kill me. It became war when you ambushed me at Dryden’s to kill me again. When you took my lieutenant. It’s been war since I left your household.”

He scoffed slightly and crossed his arms. Kaz’s cane clattered between you two and you kicked it away, conveniently closer to Kaz.

“The only difference now is that I’m fighting back now.”

You threw the punch without thinking. Your fist connected with Pekka’s jaw and you heard Kaz engage in his own fight beside you. Your father was quick to throw a punch back and you barely dodged the heavy uppercut coming your way. You were just able to spin away.

When he righted, you threw your elbow back against his stomach. He doubled, allowing you to grab at the back fabric of his jacket. You held him in that position and drove your knee up once. Twice. Three times. On the fourth, he caught your leg and yanked so you fell to your back.

You coughed roughly as the air left your lungs. Your head turned to the side and you saw Kaz standing, blood soaking one of his sleeves. The second Lion was laying at his feet, rocking side to side in pain. Kaz and Pekka were staring each other down now.

“Soft.” Pekka taunted.

“Enough.” You rasped and pushed to your elbows. “He’s been less helpful to me through this than you have. Dirtyhands already told you he doesn’t care. It’s between you and me, Papa.”

“You know what, Daughter, I’ll offer you a deal. Just this once.” He offered you a hand to help you up and you batted it away. You climbed to your feet on your own. “When you send Vicente back, I’ll take you to Mellaney.”

Your instinct was to look to Kaz for his opinion, but you knew that’d only feed your father’s notion of you being soft for him. Instead, you looked at the floor to think.

“The deal expires when I walk out this door.” Pekka warned. 

“And you drag your men with you.” You commented before lifting your eyes. “Is she unharmed?”

“Better shape than Vinny, I bet.”

“Difference is I have a Healer, so I can cut him into little ribbons and put him back together.”

“Then he can put your precious lieutenant back together, can’t he?”

The rage you were burying was now burning between your ribs. You dug your nails into your palms hard.

“Fine.” You breathed, defeated. “Take your Lions and the pound of flesh. Leave the Dregs out of this and you and I will settle this.”

“You brought them into this, dearie.” He tapped his finger under your chin and you jerked your head away from his touch.

“And now they’re out of it.” You glared at him. “From tonight, every time you involve them will be another finger Vinny loses… He only has ten after all.”

Pekka offered a half smile and chuckled to himself. He motioned for the conscious Lion to gather the bag and their comrade. He pulled your blade out and threw it at your feet before they left.

You finally looked to Kaz, who was suspiciously quiet throughout the encounter. Your eyes returned to his bloodied sleeve and you saw the slice across his bicep. You knelt for your blade.

“I didn’t realize I was followed.” You admitted as you stood. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you going to go through with the trade?” He asked.

“I don’t know…” You shook your head and moved to his side. You gently touched his arm, your hand staying on his sleeve while you turned his arm for a better look at the slice. “Can I help?”

You brought your eyes to his and he was already looking at you.

Of course he was. 

He nodded slightly and you stepped back so he could move to lean against the desk. You used the small blade to slice his sleeve the rest of the way around before tucking it safely away. You tore it into two strips, gently using one to clear the leaking blood. You ignored the way your fingertips brushed his skin.

“For what it’s worth, I tried to stay out the way.” You said idly.

You wondered if he’d say anything about the contact. It had to stir something in him judging by the way his arm was rigid. You kept your eyes on the long, shallow cut, but you felt his eyes on your face.

“Was he right?” He asked and you froze for a second. “About your feelings for this place.”

“It’s complicated.” You answered and returned to your task. “Did you mean it when you said you’d let me die?”

“You tell me.”

You dropped the soiled strip over the chair and grabbed the clean one. You looked for confirmation, hovering your empty hand a few inches from his arm. He nodded, gently pushing his arm into your hands. With gentle pressure, you held the fabric in place with one hand and wrapped it with the other. You ran your fingers over it, ensuring it was flat, before tucking the end and giving it a gentle pat.

“If I knew what you were thinking, Kazzle, my life would be a whole lot easier.” You laughed slightly. “What would you do, if you were in my shoes?”

“Do you truly believe I don’t care about you?” He asked instead.

“I think it’s complicated, you and me. For now, that’s all it needs to be.”

Kaz stood tall and you tilted your head back to look him in the eyes. His hand reached for you then hesitated. You mimicked his gesture from earlier and put your arm in his hand. He squeezed your limb slightly.

“Does he know anything that can hurt you?” He asked. You looked up from his hold on you and Kaz was already looking at you very intently.

“I don’t think so.”

“Perhaps letting him go is better. It could be safer for Melli.”

“If it isn’t…”

“You have your Heartrender. You have Wylan and his tricks. I’m sure you’d even have Jesper if you needed.”

“But I don’t have you.” You said quietly.

He pulled you a step closer.

“If it was the other way around and you needed to bring Jesper or Inej home, would you come to me?” You asked in hopes that he didn’t hear your last comment. If he did, you two would only get more complicated and you couldn’t afford that.

“Vina…”

“Kaz…”

There was something he wanted to say. You could see it in his eyes, that minuscule softness that you’d only noticed in private. You could feel it in the subtle way his grip on your arm had tightened. His breathing had begun to shake a bit and you wondered if the legendary composure of Kaz Brekker was faltering.

You reached your other hand up and carefully brushed his hair away from his forehead. His eyes closed and he let out a shuddering breath. You couldn’t help but smile slightly to yourself as you retracted your hand.

“I wouldn’t let you die. You do know that, right?” You asked gently.

He nodded, eyes still closed. You took a small step back before looping a finger under the chain around his neck. You freed it from his shirt to see your ring, safely hanging on the end. You had given that to him with the intention of getting it back but maybe you should let him keep it. A way of always having a connection.

“And I don’t think you’d let me either.” You said.

“It’s a dangerous game we’re playing, Vina.” He spoke lowly, like all his focus was on something else, as his eyes opened.

“I may be soft and stupid, but I’m not completely clueless… Wylan’s going to try and get the stimulant out of that kvas and make it a gas. We’ll use it against the Lions at the cafe first and, hopefully, get Melli out without a fight at all. Then we burn it down.”

He cracked a half smile. “Wylan’s idea?”

“Mine.” You shrugged. “But he did light up at the idea.”

“If you truly need me, Davina…” He began carefully. He was considering what he wa about to say, and you could tell by his hesitation that it was not something to be taken lightly. “You know I’ll be there.”

Little did he know just how much you needed him.

In another life, maybe.

“What about Haskell?” Your brows furrowed.

“I’ll handle it.” He nodded. “I wouldn’t let you die either.”

“I think we’ve both lost enough for a while.”

You patted his chest before turning away to recollect the bottle. You turned and offered Kaz a salute, which he shook his head in amusement at, before you practically skipped out the Crow Club.

When you got back to your office, Kol was keeping an eye on Vicente while Wylan worked. You placed the bottle near Wylan and he jumped. You stifled a giggle when his eyes met yours, solely because the way his goggles exaggerated the shape of his eyes.

“I don’t drink while I’m working.” He shook his head and you laughed.

“The hallucinogen.” You explained. “It’s in the kvas. Can you work with it?”

He made a noise of interest and examined the bottle, blindly handing you a list. You patted his shoulder as you accepted before moving to your desk, where Kol was leaning against.

“He give you anything else?” You asked and pulled your cloak from your shoulders. You winced slightly but ignored the ache in your back.

“He tried to say something about you, how you matured but I put him under. If I hadn’t, I probably would’ve knocked his teeth out.” Kol answered.

“Maybe you should’ve.” You laughed slightly

“You were gone a while. What happened?”

“Pekka.” You sighed and dropped into your chair. “Brekker caught me so we were chatting and dear old dad came to bully information out of him.”

“He say anything?”

“Kaz is the last person who’d tell Pekka anything. You don’t have to trust him, but trust that much.”

Kol shrugged before he turned to you. “You have a lot of faith in Dirtyhands.”

“Neither faith nor Dirtyhands are going to get us through this. Even when we have Melli, we’re going to be fighting the Dime Lions until someone runs his empire into the ground.”

“That someone being you?”

“Not on my own.” You shook your head. “And not anytime soon. Go home, get some rest. I’ll stay here with them.”

“You’re not alone in this, Davina. I hope you know that.”

“I know.” You smiled softly.

It took five days for Wylan to have his concoctions ready. It would’ve been sooner but you had to send Kol to Little Ravka for some of the components. You had asked Wylan to go to the Slat that day Kol was gone, just to check in and make sure the Dime Lions hadn’t tried anything.

You were glad to know Pekka was keeping to himself, at least for the time being. Wylan also came back and very cryptically explained he had a conversation with Kaz. What it was about, he wouldn’t say, so you didn’t know why he told you to begin with. He was also very excited to tell you that Jesper said hello.

When the night came, Kol kept Vicente close and you traveled with Wylan. You went with him to dose the perimeter with the accelerant and set the glass jars with the gas at the windows. You worked the locks and cracked them open, while Wylan snuck it inside and nestled it safely against the frame.

You met back with Kol and Vicente in the alley across from the cafe.

“What now?” Wylan asked.

You all had fabric across your mouths. It wouldn’t keep the gas out yet, not until you used the slings of water to soak it. Wylan rested a hand on the borrowed pistol at his hip. Kol was his weapon. You had two blades at your thigh and one under your cloak with a pistol at your back. Vicente was unarmed for the time being.

“I’ll take Vicente.” You and Kol switched positions. “Kol and Wylan, you two had around back. Break the first jar when you find her.”

Wylan nodded, determination in his eyes. “No mourners.”

“No funerals.” You answered and he smiled. “Blink last.”

“Die tomorrow.” Kol nodded before grabbing Wylan and disappearing into the shadows.

“I should have a weapon.” Vicente muttered as you dragged him with you.

You rolled your eyes. As you headed into the street, you noticed how empty it was. You looked around, realizing it wasn’t like that when you were working with Wylan. Before you could try and signal to Kol, Vicente slammed his elbow into your ribs. 

Your grip faltered and you staggered away from him. Immediately, you drew a blade. Vicente laughed, stalking around you like a predator.

“You know, Davi, I didn’t think you’d be this stupid.” He mocked and you straightened, turning in time with his steps to keep him in front of you. “I really thought you’d be smarter than this, but I guess your daddy was right.”

“I should’ve killed you.” You spat. “I will.”

“No, you won’t.” Condescension dripped off his words and your anger began to thump in your blood. “I used to have such a crush on you when we were kids, know that? Then you met those little farm kids.”

“Shut up.” You threatened. “What have you done?”

“That night you let me onto your gambling floor because ‘Someone will keep an eye on me’ -“ He mocked and you nearly threw the blade at him. “Your Snakes don’t pay as much attention as they should…”

“They were right.” You scoffed. “You didn’t just show up at the Rook. You were sent.”

He finally stopped walking and shrugged with a smile.

“Is she even in there?”

“Oh, she’s in there.” He laughed, pointing to the building behind you. In the circling, the cafe ended up behind you. “Just not sure how intact she is.”

You felt it then. Your control snapped like a taut elastic in your chest. It vibrated around in your rib cage and guided your actions. You quickly drew your arm back and flung the knife.

It dug into his shoulder and your next attack was quick to follow. You slammed your fist against his face.l before jerking the knife out. He made a move to kick out your knee but you were able to raise your foot and knock the attempt away. You spun so your cloak wiped across his vision and you tried to dig the knife into his stomach.

He jumped away and caught your elbow. He bent your arm at an unnatural angle, causing a burning sensation to shoot through your shoulder. You winced and dropped your knife for your other hand. You jammed the knife up and it cut across his leg before his knee hit your chest. You coughed roughly before letting out a scream.

He had dislocated your shoulder.

You heard glass shattering in the cafe so you turned. Before you could figure anything out, Vicente’s arm came across your chest from behind and your own blade was against your neck. You jerked in his hold but all that did was move the knife against your skin. Hot blood began to leak out and down your shirt.

“Stupid.” Vicente hissed.

“I’m not the one who let me mutilate him.” You laughed while your eyes stayed locked on the door to the cafe.

Another glass, followed by gunshots.

“They’ll die. And it’s your fault.”

Your good arm moved to one of the knives at your thigh. Your fingers were closing around the hilt and you felt the knife tip trailing from your throat to the center of your chest.

“Saints save them.” You whispered and carefully pulled out the knife.

“What do you say, Davi? You wanna watch them die?” Vicente taunted in your ear and you jerked your head away.

You took a deep breath, gripped your knife firmly, and jammed it over your shoulder. His hold on you dropped and you spun away quickly. You saw your blade buried to the hilt in his eye socket.

Over your shoulder, another knife came flying in to slam into his chest. He gasped, sputtered for air, then fell to his knees. You pushed him to his back with a foot against his chest before you leant down to retrieve your blade. The weapon came back with his eye stuck to the edge.

You made a face and flicked it until it fell off with a wet thump. One last glance at Vicente told you he was dead.

Seeing him dead didn’t have the same feeling as it did the first time you killed a Lion. You decided it was because he deserved it.

You wiped a stream of blood from your neck before you spat on the ground.

“Are you alright?” A familiar came from your side. You turned your head and saw Inej beside you.

You nodded, ignoring the pain in your limp arm. “Dirtyhands send you?”

“No.” She collected her own blade. “He came with us.”

“Us?” Your brows raised.

“You didn’t think I’d skip on the fun, did you, Love?” Jesper came up to Inej’s side with a grin and his pistols ready. “Nina should be here soon, too.”

You sighed in relief.

Kaz appeared next, barely sparing Vicente’s body a glance. He went right to your other side and you shifted your body to try and keep your dislocated limb out of his sight.

“We can catch up on how you knew later.” You nodded, silently offering Kaz your thanks, before you unclipped your sling. You tilted your head back and soaked the fabric. “Wylan and Kol have already set off the gas. Once we’re all clear-“

“Trust me.” Jesper spun his revolvers around his fingers. “I know where to shoot.”

“Never had a doubt.” You winked then spared a moment to turn to Kaz. “Haskell?”

“Too drunk to notice we’re gone.” He nodded.

You returned the gesture, remembering Kaz saying he’d handle it if you needed him. It still left you wondering how he knew but you figured Wylan’s mysterious conversation was a ploy to get his trio of friends to show.

Before anything else could be said, another round of glass and gunshots. You ran into the cafe.

The front room was full of smoke and the smell of gunpowder was creeping through your mask. You tightened the grip on your blade and used the other hand to wave the smoke from your line of sight.

You wanted to yell for them but you had no idea what you were running into. Instead, you just trusted your feet and what little you could hear. You made it through the front to the kitchen and found a hallway just as the last glass shattered.

A new wave of gas came from the wall and you heard shouts of orders. You flattened against the wall before sticking your head through the doorway.

Five Lions were huddled at the far end of the hall. Other fallen bodies littered the path and you realized it was a worse trap than you thought. Your stomach sank at the thought of what you and your friends had walked into.  A hand on your shoulder made you jump.

You slammed your good shoulder against them so they hit the wall. As you faced them, you realized it was just Kaz. He gave you a small smirk and you rolled your eyes. You stepped away and pressed yourself back against the other side of the entry to the hall. You silently winced at the pressure on your shoulder and could practically feel Kaz’s questioning look.

You waited a moment before moving.

You crept into the hall, swatting the gas away. The Lions were all fallen, some twitching or muttering in their hallucinations. You stepped carefully over the bodies until you found Kol and Wylan.

Kol was kneeling over Melli, hands moving quickly. Wylan was kneeling beside them with his pistol aimed. Your hand went up in surrender and he quickly lowered his weapon. Tucking your knife, you hurried to Melli’s other side.

You couldn’t stop the tears in your eyes. She was alive. Her left eye was bruised, as was her jaw. There were various splits in her skin, likely from punches after she stayed silent, and you vaguely heard Kol mention broken bones. You brushed the loose hair away from her forehead and a relieved laugh fell from your lips as she stirred.

“We have to go, Davina.” Kaz said and his voice was all that snapped you back.

“Right.” You wiped your eyes. “Can you two get her up?” You looked between Wylan and Kol.

Together, they got her to her feet. She mumbled your name and your heart twisted. You sniffled slightly and Kaz took a gentle hold of your hand.

“This is my fault.” You whispered.

“She’s alive, Vina. That’s what matters.” He offered and you heard an unmistakable kindness in his voice. “This isn’t over.”

“Help me take him down.” You turned to him. You didn’t care to be cryptic. You didn’t care to be nonchalant. “I don’t care what it takes. I need you with me.”

His eyes scanned your face and softened a little more every second. Everything in you was aching, yearning, for him. You needed him by your side for more than just revenge. You needed him as your friend, as your first crush, as the only person you felt knew the deepest truths of who you were.

Kaz saw right through you, and you both knew how dangerous that was. To care for someone in the Barrel was a target on both of your backs. To need someone was a death sentence, easy leverage against you. It made you weak, vulnerable, soft and stupid. 

But that didn’t stop you from needing Kaz with everything in you. It didn’t stop that spark in your chest when you thought about him feeling the same way.

“Brick by brick.” He nodded, squeezing your hand.

You were so relieved you almost hugged him.

Instead, you squeezed his hand back and gently tugged him to follow you out.

All hell had broken loose outside.

Jesper and Inej were back to back, fighting off six Dime Lions. Nina had arrived and she was beside Kol, both blocking Melli’s barely conscious body. Wylan was watching for you to exit so he could spark the accelerant.

You drew your pistol and was about to enter the fight when Kaz grabbed your arm. You turned quickly and saw him point to the rifleman on the opposite roof. Their rifle was pointed directly at you and Kaz. You dared a step and a bullet hit the cobblestones at your feet.

The cafe ignited behind you, heat slamming against your backs.

“What do we do?” You asked Kaz.

Kaz whistled sharply. Jesper’s head turned to the roofs at the signal. You heard him laugh when he caught sight of

him before returning to his initial fight. You tilted your head in confusion before you watched him and Inej flawlessly switch positions for her to take the last Dime Lion. Jesper shot down the rifleman without so much as a glance.

Your mouth slightly fell open in shock. You knew he was good but you had no idea he was that good.

You turned to Kaz and he was staring at something across the way. You looked but saw nothing.

“Kaz?” You asked carefully.

Dread gripped your heart.

“Kaz.” You tried again, putting a hand on his arm.

He went for a step and fell against you. Immediately, you put your hand against him to help steady him. You bore as much of his weight as you could while your mind was reeling. You looked to your friends for help. Jesper was checking Inej and Nina was kneeling with Kol over Melli.

You looked and saw the blood seeping across his shirt.

Wylan was the first to notice.

“What happened?” He came running over and helped you get Kaz, who was in too much pain to argue, to the ground.

“The rifleman.” You realized. You didn’t even hear the second shot. You glanced at your hand and saw it was covered in his blood too.

“Kol!” You screamed desperately.

[lookwhatyoumademedohaha]

The One Where Kaz Brekker Considers His Life Choices

Summary: Kaz Brekker is a deadly Barrel Boss who has the most dangerous task at hand... To deal with the chaotic shenanigans that you pull with the Crows.

Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Reader, Six of Crows X Platonic! Reader.

Warnings: Lots of humour, fluff, chaotic energy of our Crows.

A/N: So I'm down with a terrible cold and fever and in my delirium, I came up with this story inspired by John Oliver and B99. I hope you like it. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Happy reading!

"Dammit." muttered Kaz under his breath as he searched for your face through the Crow Club because he was a hundred percent certain that you were responsible for his present headache as he controlled himself "No, I love Y/N, she's my friend, she's my friend who is good at her job..."

Kaz was fairly certain he looked like a lunatic but finally he spotted you at the Crows private table laughing with your friends.

He marched up to you with his stony expression as he overheard Jesper announcing his plans "I think I might customize my revolvers."

Wylan immediately interjected "What? How are you going to do that?"

"I was thinking really bright colours like purple,pink and orange to match my outfits and maybe engrave my name." said Jesper thoughtfully while all of them rolled their eyes and laughed "I mean, it's going to be so much fun!"

"Oh yes! So fun! Absolutely fun!" you mocked Jesper in a high pitched tone as you smirked at him "Or when you commit murderer, a grave oversight on your part. Good news Chief, we found Fahey's revolvers at the murder scene."

Jesper stuck out his tongue at you childishly while you replied sarcastically "We do not know what motivated him to go on a killing spree but he had a lot of fun with it."

Kaz stood behind you "Y/L/N"

"Ah Kaz, you're looking very happy today." said Nina brightly as she greeted him infuriatingly "Let us guess what happened based on your facial expression. You got offered a job with a lot of Kruge and high stakes?"

Inej joined in the fun "Pekka Rollins finally died?"

Maththias' smirked "He found a life of charity and prayer."

Everyone nodded in agreement and Wylan grinned "He's about to reveal that he's actually Nikolai Lantsov!"

"Saints! Wylan, he's about to reveal that he's secretly married to me and has secretly raised my baby!" cried Jesper dramatically as Kaz thought of resignation from this life.

"All of these options is probable. But I know the Captain. He's having a meltdown." you announced dramatically exasperating Kaz who hadn't got one word in since this conversation started.

Matthias looked at you pointedly and then at Kaz "What are you talking about? The demjin looks the same as he always does."

"To you perhaps. But I have mastered the art of reading his emotions. His lips are tightly sealed, he's gripping onto his cane as if he's trying to control himself and he's blinking at his three second intervals as opposed to his nine." you observed Kaz closely with a knowing smile surprising Kaz who was tongue tied and speechless that you could easily read him "Therefore, he's having a meltdown!"

Wylan intervened as he shook his head at you fondly "That seems excessive."

You grinned "No, I'm impressive."

Nina knew that you were telling the truth based on Kaz' heartbeat she heard as she queried sweetly "So Waffles, is everything okay?"

Kaz glared at Nina and then at you "No. I'm having a meltdown."

Wylan and Matthias gasped at you as if you were a Saint "Wow."

Kaz decided to speak before anyone could interfere "Who the hell is responsible for the mess?"

"You have to be more specific about which mess given out daily life experience." retorted Nina sassily.

Kaz eyebrows furrowed deeply "Alright. The slogan outside the Crow Club and the Slat? Who did it?"

There was silence as everyone pointed toward you who looked unremorseful as you smirked at Kaz who was fuming in rage as he turned his dangerous gaze upon you "As I suspected. Now you better have a goddamn good reason as to why you would do such a silly, stupid, idiotic act?"

You looked completely calm for a person who was about to feel Kaz Brekker's wrath "Clear communication and marketing to our customers."

Kaz couldn't quite comprehend what you said as he stuttered "Excuse me?"

"Well Kaz, to tell you the truth, people in Ketterdam weren't really clear on where we were coming from... you know our main objective as to why we steal,maim and kill so much." you explained nonchalantly and calmly that made Kaz feel as if he was the idiot in this conversation. "So we put up a slogan to educate everyone in Ketterdam, our objective in pursuing destruction and crime."

"It's rather a genius slogan, Y/N." praised Inej with a kind smile "The ones we came up with were sloppy and funny but Y/N understood the assignment."

Kaz realized that you had come up with the goddamn slogan yourself as he literally let out all his exasperation out "Yes but did the slogan of the Dregs have to be BECAUSE DEATH IS THE UNDENIABLE FUEL OF LIFE!'"

"I think it's very classy, professional and straightforward conveying the necessary message." commented Matthias with honest admiration for your work and grinned at how red the demjin was "People won't like it but at least they'll understand and respect where you come from."

All of them exchanged mischievous glances as they saw Kaz close to spontaneously combusting and had to hand it to you. This was the best prank they played on Kaz and honestly at this point, you should be appointed as the Prank master General of the Dregs.

"I can't believe you would do something so stupid!" burst out Kaz in despair and anger.

You remained completely unfazed while Nina, Matthias, Wylan, Jesper and Inej snickered in unison "Can't you?"

"Shut it! I know you lot encouraged her to do this." snapped Kaz in frustration as he pointed at the rest of his friends who grinned

Kaz looked at you once again as he took a deep breath "And why did you place this slogan in bright and glittering colours as bright as Jesper's irritating fashion sense?"

"Because people are more attracted to bright colours and like glitter. Like if I saw that message in black, I'd be afraid but since it's in pretty bold sparkling colours, everyone kind of digs it." you said smartly while the rest of the Crowd clapped proudly for you "They are not like afraid. They are more like... Oh my god Kaz Brekker is about to murder me. Go right ahead Kazzle Dazzle, just whack me -"

"Alright thank you, that's enough." interrupted Kaz hastily and briskly because he did not want to hear the end of the sentence.

Amidst the Crows loud laughter, Jesper hooted "They're like... I'd die for Kaz Brekker and honestly he'll let me. Brutal!"

"The way I consider murder illegal but if Kaz Brekker is doing it, make me the victim." replied Wylan with a teasing smirk.

"CHOKE ME TO DEATH DADDY BREKKER, HALLELUJAH!" you yelled loudly as you raised your glass while Kaz was completely red in the face, embarrassed by his friends drunk shenanigans and chaotic energies.

"Daddy... It's a kink isn't it? It's like a paternal thing?" explained Nina with a wink to Maththias' who had inquired about it.

"Alright Freud." retorted Kaz rolling his eyes at Nina who laughed as he hoped to shut down this conversation quickly "I don't understand why you chose that particular slogan. It sounds like an excerpt from a letter of a serial killer!"

You looked at Kaz with a deadpanned expression "How many killings does it take for a person to be a serial killer?"

Kaz was slightly taken aback but answered nevertheless "Er... Five?"

"Great. We're all serial killers." sighed Jesper dramatically as he looked pointedly at Kaz who obviously had the highest body count.

"Not me." stated Wylan with an innocent smile.

"Bitch please!" chorused everyone together in disbelief as they glared at Wylan who was hiding a grin and you added "You have the second highest body count and you're relatively new."

Jesper grinned as he placed a kiss on Wylan "Well that's my man! He's spectacular at everything he does!"

Kaz gave up. There was no point talking to you.

"Fine. Those slogans are to be taken down tonight -" began Kaz when Rotty came toward them

"Sorry to interrupt boss but there are more than eighteen people and some other gang members queued outside waiting to be initiated as part of the Dregs."

You smirked into your drink as you heard Kaz retort "What is the meaning of this?"

"Uh... The new slogan is real popular boss. People want to be part of the Dregs because we showed them out vision and they like it." said Rotty vibrating in excitement "Also, the customers are pouring in more boss! I think it's the glitter they like -"

"Thank you Rotty. I'll attend to it. Dismissed." said Kaz as he felt your infuriating and insufferable smirk burn a hole through his skull.

"Oh Captain... I believe it's time to say those very special words." you crooned sweetly as you watched Kaz' lips twitch once.

"Y/L/N... you're a genius." stated Kaz in a deadpanned expression and watched in amusement as you nearly choked on your drink while the rest of the Crows were checking their drinks for toxin trips.

You squealed in delight "OH MY GOD! YOU ACTUALLY SAID IT! IT'S REAL!"

"I heard you practicing it to yourself in your room last night." said Kaz calmly and deadpanned as he smirked at how your enthusiasm slightly faded but you were still grinning.

You nodded "That makes more sense. So are you like now going to give me a raise, or a -"

"You're an idiot, Y/N." said Kaz with a subtle exasperated and amused smile and walked away.

"THANK YOU? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY THANK YOU CROWFATHER!" you yelled out loud in exasperation and amusement as everyone laughed.

Inej smiled "Honestly, I didn't expect the prank to turn into something profitable."

Jesper frowned slightly "Yeah it kind ruins it all, doesn't it?"

"Never fear my friends. Kaz is a prankster's delight." you replied with a delightful smile, mischief glinting in your eyes.

Before anyone could ask what you meant, Kaz Brekker's mad voice rumbled across the Crow Club "Y/N Y/L/N! WHAT ARE ALL THESE CONGRATULATORY LETTERS I'VE RECEIVED FROM DIGNITARIES ALL OVER THE WORLD ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM TO BE MARRIED TO THAT STRUTTING PEACOCK ZOYA NAZALENZKY AT THE CHURCH OF BARTER IN KETTERDAM IN TWO DAYS?"

"What?" exclaimed Jesper in amazement

Nina, Wylan, Inej and you exchanged amused stares "Who's going to tell him Zoya is in on this and is actually coming here tonight?"

"You know what, never change, Y/N." said Matthias looking at you affectionately and then looked alarmed because he saw the demjin marching toward you "But you better run or you'll be in trouble with the demjin!"

"Trouble?" you laughed as you winked at your friends "You're only in trouble if you are caught!"

Kaz caught you before you could flee "Gotcha!"

"I'm in trouble." you mumbled and then grinned widely at Kaz Brekker who looked like a bull who had just been kicked as you bit him making him let go of you and you took off running "Congratulations on your nuptials, Captain! You're going to be a lovely bride!"

[lady-ashfade]

Just a pawn

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Notes: kinda wanna make a part two..but maybe I just will leave it here.

Warning: Angst, heartbreak, no comfort, short, cursing, I wanna hug the reader.

This was exactly what you signed yourself up for, you tried to stop it. Telling yourself to bury the feeling deep down so you couldn’t get hurt, you hated feeling weak and this was exactly what you expected. You knew he would crush your heart, that you would wait for the end of time for him, just for him to feeling anything…

Anything other then anger.

“Don’t you walk away from me!” He shouted from behind you as your back was turned. You bit the inside of your cheek ready to cry and scream in anger. Spinning yourself you glare at him, his face dirty and sweat dripping and he looked as miserable as always. “Or what, Brekker?” You stepped closer, never letting your anger slip.

“Because we both know you can’t afford to let me go, who else would you have to throw in harms way? Inej, oh not your wraith. Jesper? Not him, your charming shooter. Nina, wylan, Matthias? Because for fuck sake he risk anyone he doesn’t care about!” You shouted as loud as you could, actually hoping everyone could hear you in ketterdam.

“Don’t you shout at me, this wasn’t my fault. We got the job done so stop yelling like this.” He groaned out. You laughed and put on a smile, “Oh thank the saints! We got the job done, so glad my almost death was worth it.” You cheered while putting your hands up.

Kaz looked at you with a glare and stood up straight not having the slightest bit of amusement from you. “For fuck sake, I had a plan. Yes you almost died but that happens on jobs like these. You came to me remember? You signed yourself up for this.”

You sighed yourself up for everything.

“No, I did not. If jesper wouldn’t have acted fast I would have fell from the building, nothing under me or could stop me from hitting the ground. I knew i could die on these jobs,” you went quieter and your eyes become heavy and flickering with tears, “what I didn’t know is that I would be used as a target to just toss around. Each time it’s always me who almost dies and you tell me to do it.”

He glare softens and his jaw unclenches it self. “I don’t toss you for you to die. You know that.” But did you? Did he ever give you a reason to believe that? “I actually don’t, kaz. I know nothing of what you feel or care about other then yourself.” The words cutting him like a knife. She wasn’t yelling or shouting but speaking to him in such a hurt tone.

“I know you know how I feel about you, kaz. I tried to hide it but it was just too hard, and I thought when you looked back at me- That you felt the same way I did.” You laughed and wiped the tears rolling down your face, “Funny huh? It was pathetic of me to believe that. Because you never could care for me like I want you to, you can’t even treat me like something other then a pawn.”

He couldn’t say anything, couldn’t do anything as she broke in front of him. She didn’t know that it was her he cared about the most and it scare him how deep his feelings went. He pushed her away each time to not let the feeling take over, always yelling at her or moving her around. And it killed him to know he could never pull her close and touch her skin.

“Nothing to say? Fine, I’ll talk for the both of us. I’m leaving and when I come back we will forget this ever happen. You wouldn’t speak to me other then on a job, no glances from across the room. Nothing but acquaintances.” Speaking clearly with her mind made up.

Kax watched her walk away to the door and all he wanted to do was go after her and make her stay with him, tell her just how much he cares for her. But she could never know, he could never give her what she deserves. He stepped closer and his body moving on its own, but he forced himself still. You turned around and looked at him half way out the door, a sad smile on your lips and glossy eyes.

“Goodbye, kaz.” And then he lost sight of you and his heart shattered. He knew this was your way of saying goodbye to the way it was between the two of you. It was never going to be the same, a goodbye to him as yourself. He huffed and turned around to clear his deck of everything on it in anger. He shouted and slammed his hands on the table knowing it could very well be goodbye forever.

“You never were a pawn.” He sighed to himself like he was talking to your ghost. Everything he wanted to say.

[modelbus]

This might be more on the angst side… oops? Also, this is like 3k words… There are POV switches!! And this was inspired by an ao3 story with a similar premise but that was with Kaz and Wylan so there’s that.

There is alcohol and suggestiveness in this! Be warned, it’s a bit different than my usual!

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x gn!Reader

Flufftober 4 - It’s All An Act (Spies)

"Sorry, what?" You stare at Kaz, and he stares back evenly.

"It's a simple mission. You don't have to do anything."

"Then why do you need me?"

He sighs, gloved hand tightening and loosening on his crow cane. Without a doubt, he was upset at you for not getting it, but forgive you for being a little startled when he asks you to pretend to date him!

"It'll be too suspicious if I show up alone. All I need you for is pretending to date me. But carry some weapons in case things go... awry."

"You want me to go with you to a party, pretend to date you, and... that's it?"

"That's it."

You stare at him for a few more moments, trying to figure out if he had any other angle. Most times, Kaz Brekker kept his crows in the loop. But there were times when he didn't, and you knew him too well to not try and figure out if it was or wasn't.

Although you were the second newest crow (thanks to Wylan for taking the newest title) you and Kaz actually somewhat got along. You’re certain it's because he values you ability to kill without hesitation. That's what you are to him: his assassin. Your role, your one job, was to kill and to kill efficiently. 

He didn't question why you were able to kill so easy, and you didn't question his aversion to touch and water. You got along, and things were fine.

Or, they were, until you had to go and start noticing stupid things about him. Like the way he looked mid-fight, slamming his cane into someone. Or the way his lips would barely twitch when one of them said something particularly funny. It took you a bit to realize, but when you did you knew you were royally fucked.

Because, of course, you started to develop feelings for Kaz Brekker. Feelings that, as long as you were sane, would stay quite hidden. Which only made this whole job harder.

He wanted you to pretend to date him. It might just be the hardest thing he's asked of you yet, and he doesn't even know it.

"Take the job. Wish I could go to a party." Jesper grumbles, and you glance at the sharp shooter sitting next to you.

"Unfortunately, no one in their sound mind would believe we were dating." Kaz says cooly. "That, and everyone knows your face around here."

You grimace. Your own insurance, coming to bite you in the ass. Most people only saw you face before you killed them. It was easier to sneak around in plain sight that way. Obviously the crows were the exceptions, and maybe a few others out there.

"You're sure nobody else wants to do this?" You try.

"Wylan and Jesper are far too in love for me to take Wylan, Inej is out hunting slavers, and Nina..." He shakes his head. 

"Fine. Whatever. I'll do the stupid job."

You sigh, knowing this job very well might be the death of you. Emotional death, that is. But then again, it was Kaz. Surely he wasn't the type to be a touchy fake date, not with his touch aversion.

"Good. Meet me down here at nine sharp tomorrow night. Dress nice, have concealed weapons."

Kaz walks off, not waiting for you to confirm you understood his directions. You scowl at his back before sighing. 

"This will be a disaster."

"I'm sure it'll be fun!" Jesper exclaims. "It's a party, how bad can it be?"

"I have to fake date Kaz Brekker." You deadpan.

"Yeah, but he wants you for arm candy. To draw the attention away from him. That's the closest to a compliment you'll ever get out of him."

You can't help but sigh again. "We take what we can get with him, don't we?"

-

Kaz is waiting for you outside the Crow Club when you arrive. He isn't dressed any different from his normal, except a pocket watch with a fancier chain than you’re used to. His gaze is level as he gazes at you as you walk towards him.

And you knows you looks good, but that isn't why he's looking at you. You’re in a nice outfit for once, flowing sleeves down to your wrists, and black gloves up to your elbows nearly. The gloves and long sleeves were carefully planned, knowing exactly what role you’d be playing tonight.

"How many knives do you have?" Kaz asks, looking behind you, almost like he's checking to see if you were followed by anyone. 

"Seven." You grin. You may be a pretty distraction tonight, but you’re just as dangerous as you are pretty.

"Good." He nods. Not approval, but close enough. "Let's go."

You walk next to him as they go through the streets of Ketterdam, slowly heading to the more expensive places. The streets widen, becoming more and more lit as they go, and you realize that maybe you should've asked whose party this was.

"So, Brekker. Lovely night, isn't it?" You ask conversationally. From the very start You’ve always used his last name, and haven’t even thought of changing that despite how he always ground his teeth at it.

"What do you want?" He snaps.

"Come on, be nicer to your date." You can't help yourself. Kaz might not react much, but it's funny when he does react.

"This was a bad idea."

"But we're too far into it now."

Kaz's jaw clenches, and you can't help but laugh quietly. "So, the plan?"

He sighs, and you wait a moment. Although he's sometimes an asshole, and mostly keeps things to himself, he's always told you everything you needed to know in a plan.

"Just look pretty and act stupid. Do what I tell you, for once." He finally says.

"Oh, yikes, that'll be really hard. I mean, listening to you?" You joke.

Kaz pulls up short, slamming his cane out in front of you. "I mean it, assassin." 

And just as you called him Brekker, he called you by your job. Assassin. 

"You can't call me that tonight." You respond calmly. "It'll give us away."

"Say it." 

You groan. "Fine. I'll listen to you."

He nods sharply, continuing on. "Good."

"You're a little paranoid, don't you think?"

Kaz doesn't even justify you with an answer at that one, leaving you to walk alongside him quietly. 

"This is it." He announces suddenly, and draws up short.

You let your eyes flicker over the building—tons of windows—then return to him. "...are you sure?"

"Yes. Inside. Now."

The second you take a step in, you shrink yourself. Shoulders curling in, angling yourself towards Kaz. You can feel his eyes on you as you do so, raking over you.

"Loosen up." He instructs you in a low voice.

"Easy for you to say." You murmur back. "You're not the one pretending to be the crow's whore."

"Someone's said that to you before."

It's not a question. Of course it isn't. Kaz's eyes sharpen, hardening into something mean in front of you.

"Not now." You say dismissively.

He glares at you but gives you a curt nod, and together you walk into the party. You, just for tonight, let yourself revel in the eyes being drawn to you. You give a taunting grin to someone they walk by, playing up your role a little.

Look pretty? Yeah, you can do that.

"Mr. Brekker." A merchant says, his eyes sliding from Kaz to you. "And..."

"Alex." you purr, tilting your head.

Like hell you’re giving your real name out to anyone here. Instead, Alex, a random name, will have to do.

"My date." Kaz cuts in smoothly. "Don't mind them."

"Pretty." The merchant says appraisingly. You should be flattered, but you’re more disgusted.

Kaz tilts his head, studying you. "Yes." He agrees coldly. "Get a drink, we're going to talk business. Loosen up."

You pause, but this certainly isn't the time to mention that youve never drank before. Instead you give him a graceful nod, floating off through the crowds. 

The bar is an open bar, you can tell that from the lazy way the bartender is flashing his watch. Nobody here is expected to get drunk, or to steal it. Unfortunately for them, you and Kaz are here, so no watch is safe.

"I'll have a drink." You say lightly, leaning on the counter.

"Of?" The bartender asks, snorting.

Shit.

"Make me what you're best at." You answer, looking at him through your eyelashes. It should be a safe answer.

By the way the bartender smiles and starts to make something, it is. A second later a glass of something is slid your way. Here's to hoping this won't fuck with you too much.

-

Kaz Brekker

He's starting to get a little worried. Not too much, he knows you can handle yourself perfectly fine, but it has been a while since he sent you off. You weren’t at the bar: he's been checking it every few moments.

It's starting to piss him off. One job, one easy job, and you can't even follow that. There was no point in bringing you if you was just going to vanish. 

"Come on, Assassin." He murmurs, still scanning the crowd.

Truthfully, he shouldn't be calling you that here. Alex was the name you gave the merchant earlier, and Alex was the name he should be calling you by. He isn't sure where Alex came from, actually.

It doesn't matter. What does matter is what he came here for, and finding you. 

Of course, right as he's about to turn back to the real reason he's here, there's a clatter of decidedly sour guitar strings. Most don't turn towards the noise, but Kaz does. And when he sees, his entire body freezes.

Because where else would you be except talking to the guitar player. And, from the looks of it, flirting with him.

"There you are." Kaz says, striding to you, feeling like yelling. "I've been looking for you."

"Sorry." You chirp, grinning brightly at him.

At that, he falters. When was the last time he saw a smile that bright, that genuine? Actually, scratch that, when had you ever apologized to him?

He leans closer, whispering in your ear, words coming out more as a snarl than anything else. "What are you doing, Assassin?"

"Me?" You ask, looking genuinely surprised. "I'm talking to the guitar player! I used to play guitar, you know, before my father broke it."

He flicks his eyes over you. Not once have you ever divulged information about your personal life, and not once did Kaz ever ask.

"You're drunk?" He asks, incredulously.

"Me? Drunk?" You gasp, stumbling.

With a lurch, he grabs your arms to stop you from hitting the floor. Even through his gloves, it sends a jolt up his spine.

"Three layers." You slur, and he realizes you’re comforting him while drunk. "Don't panic."

"How much did you drink?" He demands lowly, dragging you to a darker corner.

"Three. Maybe four."

"Three what?"

Only three drinks shouldn't have messed you up this much, not unless they were straight vodka or something ridiculous.

"I don't know." 

He stares at you. It isn't like you to be so... careless.

"What do you mean you don't know?" He snaps.

"I've never drank before." Kaz's jaw goes slack. You’ve never drank before? This is your first time drinking? Ever? "Hey, anyone ever tell you your eyes are nice?"

"Shut up, I need to think." Kaz growls, drawing a hand down his face.

His eyes dart around, landing on a nearby door. Without a second thought, he shoves you in, closing the door behind you and locking it. It's a bathroom, and for that he's incredibly thankful.

"Splash yourself with water." Kaz orders, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms.

"Why?"

"To sober you up."

"Will it really?"

Kaz is starting to like you a lot more when she's sober.

-

You

An explosion rockets through the building, shaking the walls a little. "Woah." You laugh. It’s funny for some reason. "One of ours? Wylan's?"

"Yes." Kaz says, eyes flicking between you and the door. "Water, now."

"Why are we bombing the party?"

"Near the party." He corrects you impatiently.

There's a sudden pounding on the door, and Kaz swears under his breath violently.

"Anyone in there?! Open up!" 

You lift yourself onto the bathroom counter, sitting next to the sink. You watch Kaz, his scheming face on.

"What are you doing?" He asks, still glaring at you.

"Get over here."

"What are you doing?"

"Kaz." You raise your eyebrows. "Get caught or get over here."

Kaz clenches his jaw, striding up to you. "Now what? You're drunk, we're in a bathroom."

You run your hands through your hair, messing it up. You move back further to lean against the mirror, spreading your legs.

"Hands on either side of my head."

Immediately, Kaz stiffens. "Pardon?"

"We either make it look like you're about to fuck me or we get caught." 

His eyes go cold, but he leans in, placing a hand to right of your head. His left hand, though, goes to your waist.

"Three layers." He murmurs, almost to himself. "You're drunk, which means I'm yelling at you later for this."

"Please don't-" You cut yourself off with a gasp when the door slams open. You’re close. Not enough to touch Kaz, your mind isn't that foggy, but enough to certainly imply some things.

"Oh." A strange voice says. "Oh. My- my apologies, I didn't-"

"Get out." Kaz growls, turning his head away from you to glare at whoever is at the door.

The door shuts quickly with a loud "thud" noise. Both Kaz and you stay there for a moment, waiting to see if the intruder was actually gone.

"Wasn't that fun?" You say weakly.

"No." Kaz snaps, turning his head back to glare at you.

"Don't be pissed at me. I just saved our asses." You complain, meeting his eyes.

"Who said I'm pissed at you? Frustrated, certainly. I can't fault you too much for being drunk when I asked you to get a drink." 

"You have a nice voice." You say honestly.

"Close your mouth before you say something you'll regret."

you stare at him for a moment, mind swirling with thoughts you can't truly sort out.

You’re suspended for another second, neither of you having moved from the quite intimate position. You wasn't a short person, but you were smaller than Kaz, meaning he's practically covering your body with his right now.

"Could you get off me?" You say quietly.

"You're the one who put us in this position." He responds, raising his eyebrows. "If you were uncomfortable with it, you shouldn't have done it."

Either way, he removes his hands, but doesn't step back. Your head swims, having entirely forgotten his hand was on your waist in the first place.

"No, it's because I liked it too much." 

Kaz closes his eyes, rubbing his temples with gloved hands. "This is why I don't deal with drunk people."

"What, drunk people are too honest or something?"

"No. Secrets get spilled that nobody wants to hear."

"You don't want to hear my secrets?" You pout, a little upset. You must truly be nothing to him if he didn't even want your secrets to use against you.

"Why are you sad at that?" Kaz asks, and if you didn't know better you’d think he sounds incredulous.

"Because that means I mean nothing to you, which is depressing."

"Where did you get that idea?" His eyebrows furrow.

"You want everyone's secrets." You point out, still leaning against the mirror while sat on the counter. "Why not mine?"

"Trust me, I want them. I just want them out of your own free will."

Hell if you know what that means, but... "Nobody is holding a gun to my head."

"You're drunk. You have no filter."

"Correct. And? When did you care about morals?"

"I don't." He levels his cool gaze at you. "But when it comes to you... I know I wouldn't want my secrets getting out because I'm drunk." 

"When it comes to me?" You echo, jumping on the lose thread in his words.

"Get off the counter."

"Explain."

An unstoppable force meets an unmovable object, what happens? A collision so grand, so huge, that everything else pales in comparison.

But they aren't unstoppable or unmovable. You are drunk, Kaz has his own problems.

So he steps back, and you slide off the counter, fixing your clothes.

"Let's go." Kaz says gruffly.

But even now, even in the dim lighting of a bathroom, even with a foggy mind that is slowly clearing, you know. Hell, you both know.

Something has changed.

[the-sound-of-her-wings]

We Have the Past to Bury

❀ Premise: A traumatic figure from your past reappears, causing you to reveal yourself as an Inferni to the Crows for the first time. They try to comfort you after you win the fight. Based on this ask. ❀ Pairing: Fem!Inferni!Reader x Kaz Brekker ❀ Word Count: 2,211 ❀ Content Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Nightmare Sequence Involving Fire, Death by Fire, People being burned alive, Angst to Fluff

Everything is on fire. The floor, the ceilings, the walls. You are in the center of it, wailing, trying not to catch fire. You stumble to the floor. A flaming beam falls next to you and you scream. The fire begins to slowly encircle you, growing ever closer. You bury your head in your knees, too scared to move. Suddenly, there is a loud wooshing sound, followed by footsteps.

You hear some adults talking but you don’t recognize their voices.

“It’s okay, little one.” You hear.

You look up and see kind, dark eyes looking into yours. The man has crouched down to your level in order to make you feel comfortable. He holds out his hand to you, and you take it.

You gasp for breath as you awaken from the nightmare. Thankfully, the tent you share with Inej is already empty. You take a few deep breaths to slow down your heart rate before preparing yourself for the day ahead.

“You’re up rather late today, something keeping you awake at night?” Nina asks with a wink and a sly glance at Kaz.

“Just needed more rest,” You lie.

Kaz gives you a look, but you just shake your head. You'll talk about it another time.

“I saved you some breakfast,” Inej says, throwing you an apple.

“Thanks,” You reply, catching it.

“We’ve got one more day of travel until we reach the intercept point,” Kaz states, gesturing to a map laid out on a table in the center of camp.

“You know, it’s a little unfair that we have to travel on foot when Alina gets a horse and carriage,” Jesper comments.

“Horses aren’t good spies,” Matthias retorts without elaborating.

“She needs to be obvious. We don’t,” Nina adds.

“Doesn’t make it any less fair,” Jesper says.

“Wylan, is our path clear?” Kaz asks, ignoring the conversation.

“Kaz…” Wylan says, his binoculars showing the number of troops vastly outnumber their small team, “I think the Darkling’s army took a detour.” He did not pack enough explosives for this.

“He’s here?” You ask, your stomach dropping.

“Does anyone know how to defeat the Darkling without the sun summoner?” Jesper asks.

“We don’t need to defeat him. We just have to stall.” Kaz replies, taking the binoculars from Wylan and taking a look for himself.

“Can we ambush them?” Matthias asks.

“There’s too many,” Kaz says.

“Do they know we’re here?” Inej asks.

“The heartrenders do. There are at least two of them- they appear to be guarding the Darkling,” Nina says.

“Do we have to engage?” You question, swaying back and forth to try and quell your anxiety.

“We don’t have a choice,” Kaz states.

You grip the lighter in your pocket- the lighter they don’t know about- and release it, “Okay,”

It starts with an explosion. Wylan’s able to wipe out about a third of the Darkling’s forces before the battle even really begins. You, Inej, and Matthias all run in ahead of the others. You’re able to take out about ten people on your own with just your knives. Everyone tries to hold their own, but there are too many people.

The Darkling walks toward the group, leisurely. His two heart renders have a hold of the group, attempting to knock everyone unconscious to make them easier to kill.

“Pathetic,” He says.

The others aren’t sure what happens at first. There is a flash of light, so bright, so hot, they're not sure they saw anything at all. When it fades, the two heartrenders are lying on the ground, covered in black soot. You are standing in front of the Darkling, sleeves completely burnt off. You storm towards him, putting up a circle of fire around the perimeter, preventing him from leaving and any of your friends from getting in.

“Y/N!” Kaz yells after you. He backs away from the flames, knowing there’s no way to reach you now.

“Hello, y/n.”

“You do not get to speak to them like that.” You reply, dagger pointing towards him.

“Oh, get rid of that silly thing,” He rips it from your hand with his power. “You’re much more powerful without it.”

“Am I?” You retort, “Or am I just more useful to you like this.”

“You shouldn’t repress your nature. It’s unhealthy,” He says.

“Why are you doing this?”

“They have taken everything from us. They have abused us and used us, and hated us for far too long. The Otkazat'sya deserve nothing.”

“As if you have not used me. As if you did not use Genya. As if you have not sacrificed thousands of us in pursuit of your justice. Can you even call it that, with everything you’ve done?” You taunt, drawing out the lighter you keep in your pocket for emergencies.

“Freedom doesn’t come without sacrifice. Every choice I made was for the betterment of the Grisha.”

“Do not justify yourself to me,” You say, thumb pressed against the lighter, ready to light it at any second. “Do not think you can win me over with your words. Our people have suffered because of you.”

“They would have killed all of us,” The Darkling says. “This is the only way to show them we are stronger. That they should never dare to lay a finger on us.”

“You’ve lived so long and you are still trying to rule with fear. Grisha die every day. They are abused every day. And you think the solution is to make them hate us more?”

“They will hate us regardless.”

“You are a fool, Aleksander,” You say. The world around you erupts in an explosion of flames and darkness. When the dust clears, all that remains are the charred remains of the people you killed.

You put out the ring of fire, and see your friends still fighting. They are holding their own, those left behind being abandoned by their leader, but you don’t care.

The bullet Jesper had intended to kill the person he was fighting melts before it can hit them. The person is also gone, turned into ash. He stares after you when you walk past him, having never seen you do anything like that before.

The Grisha surrounding Nina aren’t as lucky. They erupt into flames, despite a tilemaker being among them. The air is too hot to hold any humidity. You have made the air hostile to water. The Grisha scream in agony, begging you to put out the fire as their flesh becomes rilled with burns- you ignore them.

“Y/N?” Nina calls.

Inej looks up, removing her knife from the last Grisha she had been fighting. She watches as a man tries to attack you, but you simply put up your hand- and then his head is gone. Matthias sees it too. He knows the power you are exhibiting is the reason his culture hates witches. Inej glances back at Nina, Jesper, and Wylan who are staring at you, concerned.

The knife in Kaz’s hand melts as it goes into the skull of the last standing Grisha. His glove catches fire slightly, but you put it out instantly. You do not put out the last Grisha.

“Please… please..” He pleads.

“You were made from dust. Return to it,” You hiss. His ashes float away in the wind.

You offer your hand to Kaz, who stumbled backward once the knife was melted. He takes it, and when he stands, he gets close to your face. You immediately drop his gloved hand and begin walking away. You give yourself a light one more time and scorch the earth behind you with the symbol of the crows.

“We’re done here,” You state, making your way back to camp. Tears begin to roll down your face as you walk.

XXXXX

You stare deeply into the fire, holding your knees to your chest. Inej and Nina sit on either side of you.

“You’ve done that before,” Matthias states, sitting on the opposite side of the fire. Nina shoots him a look.

“Many times.” You reply, “You never get used to the screams.” You feel Inej’s hand on your shoulder, but you are too tired to shrug off her affection. Nina tries to pick the ashes that still remain out of your hair.

“You don’t,” He agrees.

“Do you remember the first person you killed?” You ask.

He nods. They don’t say it, but Nina and Inej remember, too.

“Do you regret it?”

“No. Do you?”

You say nothing, just stare deeper into the fire.

“They would have killed us. It was self-defense.” Matthias replies, unsure of how to comfort you. No one’s really sure how to comfort you, but they are all trying their best.

“I know,” You say.

“Are you sure you don’t want something to eat? Jesper and Wylan made a soup for us,” Nina asks.

“It is edible,” Inej adds. It was distinctly not edible the last time they tried to make something, so you appreciate the addition.

“I’m fine, thank you.” You respond.

“Well, we all know that’s a lie.” Nina retorts. “Eating might make you feel better.”

“It won’t. But you’re right, I should eat.” You relent.

Nina gets up from her seat and pours you a bowl of soup. It is decent.

“Thank you,” You say, partially uncurling from your position to allow you to eat easier.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Inej asks.

“Not particularly.” You respond.

“Oh, are we wallowing in despair over here?” Jesper asks, mildly drunk, holding a mug of vodka in hand. Wesper is attached to him at the hip, considerably drunker. You reduce the size of the fire just in case one of them might hurt themselves.

“Maybe a little,” You state. “Thank you for the soup.”

“You melted one of my bullets. It was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.” Jesper compliments.

“The wall of fire was pretty cool, too,” Wylan adds.

“Uh- thanks?” You reply.

“I think we should celebrate. You kicked ass today,” Jesper says.

Wylan nods in agreement.

“It wasn’t just me.” You say, reducing your own contributions.

“Then there’s even more reason to celebrate! We sent the Darkling running.” He cheers before taking a big swig.

“There’s always time for a little dancing, isn’t there?” Nina says, smirking at Matthias.

“A drink wouldn’t hurt,” Inej comments, trying to convince herself to participate.

“I think I’ll just get some rest. I’ll celebrate tomorrow,” You state, standing up. You place the bowl on the table and head to your tent, not paying attention to whatever’s going on behind you.

Kaz is waiting for you when you enter. He’s holding all the knives you left in people’s skulls on the battlefield- the one’s that he thought were your only weapon until you started turning people to ash.

“I’m sorry.” You say, reflexively. You’re not really sure what you are apologizing for. Sorry I didn’t tell you I was an inferni this entire time? Sorry I didn’t tell you that I know the Darkling? Sorry I burnt your glove and melted your knife?

“We all have our secrets.” He dismisses. “I wanted to make sure these got back to you.” He says, handing you the knives with the hilt pointed toward you.

“Thank you, Kaz.” You say, putting them in your pocket.

“You haven’t treated your wounds,” He states, noticing cuts and scrapes on your arms and the ash built up around your fingers.

“It’s nothing,” You reply, “Nina took care of the most severe one’s already.”

Kaz glances behind you outside of the tent to see the others dancing with no music. Nina is teaching Matthias how to Waltz, while Wylan and Jesper are taking turns twirling each other. Inej is swaying back and forth, supportively.

“They seem to be in a good mood,” He comments.

“I suppose they’re just happy to be alive.” You state.

You stand in silence, not really sure what you want to say to each other.

“I don’t like using the small sciences.” You say.

“I won’t make you use it,” Kaz replies, even though it’s the wrong option strategically. Everyone saw how powerful you were.

"The Darkling used to make me use them. He used to make me do all sorts of things I didn't want to do. He said they were necessary. He said-" You ramble.

"What he said doesn't matter. You're not under his control anymore. You're not his." Kaz retorts, making a fist.

"He said we were pathetic. And it made me so angry. I don't want to be that angry ever again." You vent, tears in your eyes. "I almost hurt you."

"You didn't." He states.

"But-"

"Y/N, you didn't hurt me. You didn't hurt any of us." Kaz interrupts. He takes both of your hands to try and calm you down.

“I’ll get you another dagger. To replace the one I melted,” You promise as he lets go. You wipe away the tears from your eyes with the back of your hand.

“You’ll need a new dress.” He responds. “You burned the sleeves off of this one.”

“Thank you,” You say.

Kaz nods and walks past you to leave.

“Kaz? Could you stay here tonight?” You ask. “I don’t… I don’t think I want to be alone.”

“Then you won’t be,” He replies.