#was I supposed to send an eggplant?

[andrevalias]

In case you wanted to know:

Strawberries

Onion

Potato

Steak

Tuna

Oil

Green bags

Soap refill

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Quick! Info dump about your favorite blorbo!

König headcanons

NSFW content below the cut, 18 + only (These apply to yandere König as well, the toxic stuff is marked with a red flag 🚩)

Does like 50 crunches and 50 pushups first thing in the morning when he wakes up, as he has done since he was a teenager.

Will fix everything from cars to furniture. If the door is creaking he will oil the hinges immediately. Actually, he will treat every single thing in life as a problem... A problem he will fix.

He's great at math and physics and has vast amounts of knowledge about mechanics, thermodynamics, even things like quantum theory and other complex astronomy stuff.

He's completely clueless when it comes to following trends and memes. You have to explain every other tiktok to him. He rarely uses emojis but when he does, it's awkward and slightly intimidating because König doesn't know the hidden meanings behind them. If you send him an eggplant or peach emoji he asks if you need veggies from the store.

Loves your cooking (even if it's just microwaved mac and cheese). If you start to feed this man, you'll never get rid of him.

This is your classic mama’s boy who never had to learn how to cook and then went to the army and got used to the facility taking care of him so… yeah. Doesn't know how to cook but will try to help in any way he can! König is very excited to see you’re making food and wanders into the kitchen like “What are we making today?” You can try and give him a chopping board, an onion and a knife, but this poor man doesn't even peel the onion unless you tell him he has to remove the outer layer first...

Eats like a horse. Is secretly afraid that you run out of food. Goes to the fridge and if it's half full, he will not take the snack he was supposed to have, only comments: "The fridge looks empty." (It's not a passive aggressive statement, he's just worried.)

Also: everytime there's a crisis somewhere – he follows the news neurotically – König starts to prep. There's a month's worth of food stashed in one of the cupboards at all times. He also preps fuel, propane, medicine and the like.

Ruins all the fun when you're playing board games because he fusses about the rules so much. König holds the rulebook in his hand through the whole game and double-checks every single thing.

He's very clumsy, sometimes hits his head on the door frame when he's in a hurry or visiting a new place. He can't stay still either, always shakes his leg when he’s sitting. König needs a lot of exercise when he's not deployed to get all that energy and frustration out.

This has been discussed earlier but yeah, König even drops his mags sometimes in the field because he's too excited. He's a very capable martial artist though. Has done Savate, Escrima and Pekiti-Tirsia Kali and is very agile and precise with the double kali sticks he carries to field sometimes. Suddenly his clumsiness disappears when he has to knife someone, kick someone in the head or beat them to death with those sticks.

This is the reason König fucked up his sniper dreams too: having to control his breath, lie still for long amounts of time, then take aim and shoot a rifle vs. aiming during an adrenaline high, giving a tight spurt or two with his SMG… The latter just comes naturally to him! If you ask him how he managed to take down a human trafficking cell all alone König will say he simply "got carried away."

König goes to the gym a lot. Gets back super pumped and with an urgent need to make love. But not before he's had a cold shower! It's almost like a ritual: he has to torture himself with weights and cold water first before he can have his prize (= access to a woman)

Wakes you up in the middle of the night because he started to worry about petty, stupid things and then got a lil horny. Humps your leg or your back very, very slowly while grunting in your ear: "Hey... Hey. Are you sleeping…?" (Like. Yes, König, I was but I'm not anymore, thanks for asking)

Asks what kind of fantasies you have all of a sudden while you two are cuddling. Asks very detailed questions about them too. If you ask him what kind of fantasies he has in return, König will tense up and then say he doesn't really know, perhaps something like… a blowjob in the forest… And somehow you just know that his real fantasies are so perverse you don't even want to know more about them.

If you "nag" or yell at him, he might get a boner.

If you notice and get offended, ask: "Are you even listening to what I'm saying?!' König will freeze and look at you with a bewildered, obsessed stare and go: "Ja..?" while the boner situation in his pants gets visibly worse.

🚩 Would never go to bed before you've settled your argument. The problem is that it's very difficult for König to apologize because he always thinks he's in the right and that you simply need some time to come to that conclusion too. If you give him the silent treatment he will eventually come to you, gets all touchy and asks surprisingly demurely: "Are you still angry with me?"

🚩 The minute you forgive him or decide it was a stupid argument anyways, the demure puppy act disappears. König thinks he won and that it's time for some makeup sex ❤️

Has like the longest cock known to man. He has actual trouble finding comfortable underwear to fit that beast into. It's beautiful but intimidating, uncut, smooth and sleek. Not too thick but certainly not thin either. He likes to keep himself tidy down there too so the lack of hair makes this murder weapon look even bigger.

You two occasionally break furniture while having sex. It's mainly his fault (he gets carried away). He's very upset about it afterwards though, looks at the destruction he caused, muttering "Scheisse…" while rubbing the back of his neck. Then he tries to fix it while you're still there with your legs shaking and in need of aftercare.

If you remind him that he has other duties first, perhaps whimper his name in frustration, König will apologize and carry you to bed. He gives you that precious aftercare with unwavering passion and attention every time you ask for it ❤️ He's just a little clueless sometimes (König is also neuroatypical, either has AD/HD or falls somewhere in the autism spectrum)

🚩 Hates condoms with an intense passion. You're practically forced to take birth control pills or whatever so that he can cum inside you. This man's whining will ultimately gain a level that's absolutely ridiculous if you don't.

The first time you do it without the rubber, he sounds like he's about to cry. He tells you a hundred times how good it feels, and won't pull out until he grows soft and is kind of forced to do so. For a man who's never even heard of a breeding kink, he seems vehement about keeping his load inside you.

🚩Grunts and whispers loving but obsessive things in your ear while making love to you. You're mine, Say it, Promise that you're mine, I don't want to live without you, Why do you feel so good? at first… but as he approaches his peak, König switches to German. You have no clue what he’s saying, but from the way he spits those sentences through gritted teeth you get the feeling that it must be something desperate and that perhaps it's a blessing you don't understand his native tongue...

🚩🚩If you leave your phone on the table he tries to stalk it and check the notifications. He's so jealous it's unreal, if he sees you receive a message from some other guy König will start a circus. He needs to know all about your connection with this man. After that, he wants you to go through your contacts and show him how many guys there are and tell him what your affiliations are with them. If you're on social media König wants to go through your friends/those you follow. You have to give an account who they are and why you follow them.

🚩🚩🚩 You get a feeling he's forming a list of people he has to kill if you don't tell him they're just a cousin or something 💀

[rainybubbles]

How do you accidentally confess to COD men ?

Soap, Ghost, Alejandro, Gaz, König, Alex, Price

(Sorry in advance for my mistakes, English is not my mother tongue. So sorry if it's badly written)

S O A P :

-"I can't lose you, Soap. Shit, you're important to me," you say while crying.

-"...I'm flattered, but can you focus on fixing my leg first?" he says.

-You blinked awkwardly.

-Let's start over and try to understand this, shall we?

-Well, you were a nurse working on a military base.

-When all the doctors asked you to wake up at 3 AM, you knew something had happened. You ran to the infirmary and saw Soap.

-He was heavily injured.

-Your heart skipped a beat.

-You and Soap had known each other since his enlistment.

- You were just an apprentice nurse, and he was a cadet. He always burnt something, and you were there to look after him, even when he accidentally burnt the ass of his sergeant.

-You had a crush on him since that time, but you decided a long time ago not to act on it.

- Soap was clearly not interested in you, and he had gone out with a lot of people.

-You can definitely say you're not his type at all, and you like your bond the way it is.

-But now, seeing him like this, it was different. Your heart was overwhelmed, and your mouth spoke before you could filter what you said.

-"I can't lose you, Soap. Shit, you're important to me," you say while crying.

-"...I'm flattered, but can you focus on fixing my leg first?" he says.

-You blinked awkwardly.

-"Yes, I'm sorry. I'm not ethical at all. You need help, and I'm talking nonsense."

-You helped the doctors and quickly went outside when you finished, in order to think about what had just happened.

-"Shit, it was so awkward. I really thought we were in a movie or something," you said, angry at yourself.

-"Well, honestly, it was fun to see you like that. I mean, it could have been the climax of a movie if Ghost had started to play the violin, and a slow-mo started on your face," a voice joked.

-You turned around and saw Soap.

-"You're supposed to lay down. You can't walk."

-"What can I say? Seeing you make miracles," he says with a smirk.

-You sighed and walked towards him, offering your arms to lead him to a bed. He smiled.

-"I'm sorry for what happened. I shouldn't have said that," you said.

-"But you mean it?"

-"That's not the point. It was not the moment, and I know the answer. It was just cringe."

-"...damn, loving me is cringe?" Soap said teasing you.

-"That's- you know that's not what I mean."

-"Yes, I know. I feel the same, by the way."

-"But you..."

-"It's been three months, I realize. I know it's longer for you."

-"You noticed," you realized, all these years thinking you were good at hiding it were in fact obvious to him.

-"Yes, but you decided not to tell anything, so I never acted on it. But I...I feel the same now, and you almost confessed, so can you give me a chance?"

-"You mean when you can take me on a date and not bleed to death?" you said, looking at his injuries.

-"Yes," he chuckled.

-"Okay," you whispered, scared that it was a dream.

-"Okay," he repeated with a smile.

G H O S T :

-"WHAT DO I DO NOW ?!" you screamed and looked at your friend.

-"Just...explain to him."

-"Oh yeah and how do you explain why I send him a fucking eggplant emoji at 4 AM without anything ?" you screamed panicked

-"Tell him the truth." your friend casually says.

-"He won't believe me. Like 'hey I sent you this emoji not because I want to fuck you, but because my brother sent me a lot of memes with eggplant so every night we sent this emoji to each other laughing. And I made a mistake and sent this to you, not him. Nobody does that. He won't believe me." you sigh."Oh fuck, he rode the text."

-"Well...he's your crush no ? I mean you talk about him often so if anything happens it could be good."

-"Yes he is, but I don't want to confess, not now. Fuck, I only met him like three times and only thanks to Soap. We're just acquaintance. I only have his number because I'm Soap's emergency contact."

-"And now he thinks you want to fuck him." your friends resumes

-"Thanks for your help." you say sarcastically."Shit he's writing, what would he say ?"

-"Well I bet on a peach emoji."

-You looked at your friend and showed them your middle finger.

-"What if I make things awkward and-"

-"You are always awkward."your friend interrupts you.

-"...thanks for your support." you said ironically.

-"I mean the worst is that he says no and when you'll meet again the only thing he remembers will be this fucking emoji. That's fine."your friend says.

-"No. I don't want to be the eggplant emoji in his mind."

-"It's too late."

-A ring interrupted your conversation.

-"It's him." you said looking at your notification.

-"And ?"

-"He sent a comma."

-"A comma?" your friend asks lost

-"Yes."

-"what does it mean ?"

-"I DON'T KNOW ! Does it mean he stops to breathe, or I should breathe or-"

-"Or he made a mistake and typed wrong."

-"No, he's good with his hands."

-"I don't want to know how you know that." your friend says looking at you

-"...I wasn't implying anything weird. He's a fucking military." you answered.

-"Ok. So what do you do ?"

-"I could send a comma too ?"

-"Yay revise your punctuations with Y/N and Ghost." your friend says ironically.

-"I...oh fuck, he sent another text."

-"And ?" your friend asks

-"Does the eggplant be used to convey a desire to meet me or is it some weird shit like Soap does usually,"you read out loud his text

-"he texts like a grandpa." your friend comments

-"Fuck you." you say.

-"Calm down, I'm just saying the truth. You should answer it's because you want him."

-"No way, I told you we're acquaintances. I have a crush yes, but we don't know each other well and I-"

-Ting.

-Another text from him.

-"Because it's okay in both cases." he texted you.

-"Oh fuck." you say with your eyes widen.

-"You can say that again !" your friend laughs.

A L E J A N D R O :

-Being a soldier means living in a community. And even if sometimes you're lucky and have your own little room, it's obviously not a hotel.

-So when Alejandro was doing a patrol to check everyone was asleep, he didn't expect to overhear you.

- But it was normal, the walls were thin and he could hear Rudy's snore from here.

-So yes, he heard you talking in your sleep.

-Except it was a fever dream you were having, and it was his name you were whispering.

-He froze.

-He didn't want to intrude, so he stepped back, but it was too late.

- He heard you clearly because of those thin walls.

-The next morning, when all his soldiers were eating together and you were present he couldn't stop looking at you. He didn't know what to do.

-He was not a moron, and he didn't want to confront you about that, but keeping this silent was also horrible.

-"Everything is good, Ale?" Rudy asks.

-"...I overheard something."

-"Let me guess, two soldiers making out? It's like the fourth time this week. Are they rabbits or what?" Rudy sighs at the new cadets.

-"No, it was not two soldiers," Alejandro answers.

-"Oh." Rudy realizes, "oh. Well...it's also common to do it solo. Why are you making this a big deal?"

-"Because they say my name."

-Rudy chokes on his bread and starts laughing.

-"Why do you find this funny?" Alejandro whispers angrily.

-"Because you seem all flustered. You're usually a smooth talker, but you seem so shy about it. It's not the first time a soldier has a crush on you, Alejandro."

-"I know, but it's different."

-"And why is it different?"

-"It's them."

-Rudy smirks.

-"I see."

-"But I can't say I overheard them, but I want to tell them I feel the same. How do I do this when all I could think when I see them is this memory?"

-"Be honest, you don't know how to lie. You're an honest man, Alejandro."

-"You're right, I have to tell them," Alejandro says. He's brave, he can do that.

-"They're coming, good luck," Rudy says and winks.

-You sit at your usual place, greeting everyone, and look at Alejandro.

-"Is everything okay?" you ask him when you notice his expression.

-"I overheard you," he says blankly out of nowhere.

"...can you be more clear, because I have no idea what you're talking about?" you say lost.

-"Last night, I was checking if everyone was asleep and I overheard you saying my name in a feverish dream."

-You raise your eyebrows and smirk.

-"Is that so?"

-He notices the smirk.

-"Why are you smirking?"

-"Because I was on cleaning duty this night; it's Mina who was in my room."

-"Oh."

-"Yes. I guess you have to talk to her," you say.

-"You're right. Sorry, I didn't know."

-"That's okay, but if I may ask, what were you planning to do after telling me this?" you tease him.

He notices your playful tone and smirks back.

-"That you don't need to dream, you can have me in real life."

-"Smooth, really smooth, Alejandro."

He smiles.

-"So it's a yes?"

-"Yes, but you still have to talk to Mina. I wasn't joking; it was her in my room last night."

G A Z :

-It was a night mission.

-You were waiting with the 141 for the order to go.

-It's been hours since you were waiting, and you knew after this mission you probably couldn't see the 141 again.

-Because you were in a different unit, and your collaboration was only for this mission.

-So you knew it was probably the moment to shoot your shot with Gaz.

-You inhale and go to his figure lying in the dark.

- "Gaz, I know we get along with each other. I can't count how many nights we spent just talking to each other on the base or even how many times we laugh together.I...I'm interested in you in more of a friend way. I know it's horrible to say that now, but afterward, it will be too late. So yeah." You say.

-Silence.

-You only hear silence as the figure doesn't move.

-You feel your heart aching.

-Shit, is he rejecting you in silence without saying anything?

-You look at the ground.

-"I think you should activate your vision nocturne, soldier. Gaz is at your right."

-Shit.

-Shit, shit, shit.

- You open your eyes wide.

-You...you just confessed to Price thinking it was fucking Gaz.

-"Shit, I'm so so so sorry. I didn't mean that obviously. I-"

-"Calm down, soldier. And go talk to him. We still have time here, but look at who you're talking to." Price teases you.

-You nod and walk towards Gaz ashamed.

- "Are you okay?" Gaz asks.

-"I just made the worst mistake of my life."

-"What did you say? Did you say to Price he had a nice ass or what?" Gaz jokes to light up the mood.

- You stay silent.

-Gaz opens his mouth. "No, you-"

-"It wasn't his ass. But yeah, I basically confessed to him, because I mistook him for someone else. ?Because obviously in the dark without night vision you can't see anything."

-Gaz laughs.

-"Stop laughing, it's horrible. I'm the worst, he probably will report me."

-"No, he knew it wasn't for him, didn't he ?"

- "Yes, but it...I'm feeling so ashamed."

-"With who do you think mistake him for?" Gaz asks.

-"I don't answer that question. I have made enough confessions for today."

-"Come on, tell me."

-"Nope."

-"Let me guess then."

-"We're only five here, I don't want to let you guess."

-"Soap?"

-"Gaz, I said no."

-"Because if it's him, I don't think he-"

-"You. It was you." You say to shut him up. "Happy, now?"

-He stays silent. You look at him.

-"Yes," he says, smiling. "Even though I'm jealous that Price got the whole speech, it felt like I'm only having the crumbs." He teases you.

-"Shut up," you smile.

-"But I'm happy, I feel the same."

-"Good, because I have enough rejection for today."

-"Ohhhh, Price's rejection is not a good experience?" He jokes.

-"I could never again look at him in the eyes," you say.

K Ö N I G :

-"I thought you were just getting to know him," Soap says.

-"Yes. And that's why I was doing."

-"So could you explain how König ended up with his vest burnt if you were just talking ?" Gaz says skeptical.

-"I...well I was lighting the vanilla candle and he was here, with his eyes and I-"

-"You were checking him out and didn't pay attention to the matchstick, isn't it ?" Soap asks.

-"I was absorbed by his eyes ! They're like so beautiful and he was so close, I-"

-"You burnt his vest." Gaz says.

-"Thanks for the reminder, Gaz. I know now my chances are ruined with him. Shit. The worst is that I can't tell him why I accidentally burnt his vest, so now he thinks I hate him."

-"Well you could find an excuse." Soap says.

-"What excuse could explain a burnt vest, Mr. explosion ?" you asked.

-"You wanted to test if his vest was fireproof." Soap tried

-"..." you said.

-"..." Gaz said.

-Soap sighed.

-"Ok it's not a good one. But I'm trying to help, okay ?"

-"I have to tell him the truth. I don't want him to think I hate him. He's so gentle with us."

-"He's here. Go !" Gaz said as he pushed you.

-You opened your eyes wide. You didn't expect you would have to do that so soon.

-You walked anxiously towards him.

-When he saw you, he stepped back a little.

-It hurt you, but it was fair after the incident.

-"Hey, König, I- I wanted to explain what happened."

-He looked at you and just nodded, waiting for your explanation.

-"In fact I burnt your vest because I was admiring your eyes.I was gazing at you. And I didn't concentrate at all on the candle and I let the matchstick fall. I'm sorry."

-He opened his mouth. He didn't know what to say.

-"I- you were gazing at me ?"

-"Yes, I find you beautiful. But it's not an excuse for what happened. I should have paid more attention to the candle" you said honestly.

-"Thanks for the compliment and the apology"

-"I hope that you don't have any grudges, or you don't think I hate you. I wanted to make it clear."

-"Oh no, well, I know it was an accident. You seem..." he stopped himself to find the right word to described how much you were screaming and scared "terrified ?"

-"Yes." you confirmed.

-"So I knew it was not intentional, but I didn't understand why. But now I know."

-"Cool, so we're okay ?" you asked.

-"You don't want to know ?"

-"Know what ?"

-"If I find you beautiful too ? If I'm gazing at you sometimes ?"

-"Oh, no. I mean I didn't expect anything, so don't feel pressured or anything and-"

-"Because I do." he interrupts you.

-"Oh."

-"Yes."

-"So if I ask you on a date ?"

-"Yes."

-"Cool, cool, cool," you said anxiously but happy

-"Tonight ?" he asked.

-"YES ! I mean, yes of course."

-He smiled under his mask and left. You walked back to Soap and Gaz.

-"So ?" Gaz asked.

-"I have a date."

-"WHAT ?" Gaz said.

-" WHY DID Y/N HAVE A DATE WHEN THEY PUT HIM ON A FIRE AND I CAN'T EVEN HAVE ONE ?!" Soap whined

-You laughed. You didn't know why, but you definitely knew you were lucky he said yes.

A L E X :

-You were a barista at a coffee shop. You were taking Alex's order as usual, since he was a regular when your colleague interrupted you.

-"I prepared the order of the regular hottie you were talking about."

-You looked up at Alex.

-You looked at your colleague.

-He opened his eyes wide.

-"Oh shit" your colleague said.

-"I'm sorry Alex." You said, "This one is on the house and the next time my colleague will serve you. Sorry again." You gave him his coffee and left in the backs now not only your chances were ruined, but you could be possibly fired.

-Shit, it was unprofessional to talk with your colleagues about your crushes on some clients.

-But this was worst because the said client knew that now.

-He knew he was the hottie.

-"Hey", your colleague said after few minutes "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

-"That's okay you couldn't guess he was here. In fact you could because it was his order, but yeah..."

-"But I'm happy."

-"Happy ?" you said a little angry by his remarks now.

-"He let you that." he said giving you a paper.

-"What..." you took the paper and saw a number :"glad to be called a hottie by a hottie, call me."

-"oh wow"

-"It's like a romantic movie !"

-"Absolutely not."

-"YESSSSSSSS" your colleague teased you.

-"I'm just glad to not be fired right now."

P R I C E :

-You were an interpreter. During a long, boring brief, you were chatting with Gaz.

-"Nikolai, Lasswell, Price. Kiss, marry, kill," he says.

-"Lasswell is married, Gaz." you answer.

-"Then Ghost."

-"I kill Nikolai."

-"You dare to kill him!" Gaz says shocked.

-"I mean, I like him. He's a good guy, but I don't know him well. So yes, kill him, kiss Ghost, and marry Price."

-"Your judgment is so biased," Gaz says laughing.

-"Biased?"

-"You only marry Price because you like him."

-"Yeah, that's the point of the game. It's based on preferences, Gaz," you say.

-He smiles.

-"You don't deny what I say."

-"It's because that's obvious, I have a thing for him. Plus, everybody knows Price is like the perfect husband material."

-"Hmm, thanks for your comment," a voice says.

-You and Gaz look at each other.

-The whole room is staring at you.

-Lasswell points the microphone at your right, which is still on.

-"Fuck," you say and your voice echoes throughout the room.

-"Sorry about that," Gaz says, and he switches off the microphone.

-"We are so dead," Gaz says.

-"I am so dead, you mean. I'm surprised if they don't replace me with another interpreter at the end of the day."

-The meeting ends, but as Gaz and you are leaving, you hear Price calling you.

-You hesitate but walk towards him.

-"You know what I'm about to say."

-"Yes, Sir, it was inappropriate, and we should have paid attention to the brief. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. As you can guess, my goal was not to let this slip," you answer.

-Price nods.

-"Good. You can leave."

-You leave the room.

-You thought it was the end, Price clearly rejects you.

-Yet a few weeks later, when the mission ended, Price approached you.

-You were sitting at the bar with the 141 celebrating the success.

-"So you're not working with us anymore," he said.

-"Yeah, that's the end of my mission." You answered, smiling.

-"So it's not inappropriate if I ask you on a date?"

-"A date? Wait, you-"

-"I keep my work and personal life separated."

-"Shit, so if you didn't say anything, it was because we were colleagues."

-"And because it was fun to see you defeated," he chuckles.

-"You're mean." You laugh. "But that's a yes."

If you want more my Call of Duty masterlist : here

My masterlist : here

[lee-lucius]

Fatherly Love

Summary: Zeff isn't used to dealing with kids, especially not one like Sanji.

Word Count: 5,630

Warning: Mild spoilers for Sanji and Zeff's backstory (The Baratie Arc)

There is nowhere near enough content for Sanji and Zeff, and I had to do something about. I've only seen the live action and started reading the manga (hopefully it isn't too ooc 😅), but I'm already unreasonably attached to these two. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! 💙

Zeff never saw it as anything complicated. When they finally did get off that godforsaken rock, Sanji had nowhere to go. And, well, he'd already given up a leg for the boy; he didn't see why he shouldn't give up piracy as well.

So they started over. Neither of them were ready to give up the sea, not until they found the All Blue, and Zeff always enjoyed sharing a meal. So they opened Baratie. 

Maybe it wasn't the best place for a kid to grow up, on a ship full of angry brutes, but the little eggplant got on well enough with the crew—Zeff made sure of that—and he seemed content enough. At least, better than he had been after their rescue. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't horrible, either.

But there were still moments that shattered their illusion of peace, like right now. Sighing, Zeff pulled off his sheets, slowly sitting up and slipping his legs off the bed, taking a moment to steady himself. It wasn't as easy as it'd been in his younger years. He didn't think he'd ever get used to the wooden leg, or the little eggplant's muffled cries that kept him up almost every night.

It was odd, considering what a deep sleeper Zeff had been when he was younger, but it was almost as if he had a sixth sense for when Sanji needed him; when he'd wake up, shivering and sobbing over his latest nightmare, Zeff woke up as well, lumbering over to his room to provide what little comfort he could for a boy who'd been through far too much.

Knocking lightly, he waited for Sanji's muffled consent before entering and closing the door softly behind him. He didn't know why he'd bothered giving Sanji his own room when Zeff spent the night there more often than not. Something about a growing boy needing his privacy; how simple he thought it'd be.

"Just me," Zeff said, as if they both weren't already used to this routine. It still made something stir uncomfortably in his chest every time, seeing Sanji's small figure curled up in his bed, blankets huddled around him like a faulty shield, head tucked into his chest to hide his tear-stained face, though Zeff still saw the way his shoulders trembled and heard the pained, hiccuping gasps Sanji tried to hide.

Zeff didn't say anything else. There was no reason to bombard the boy with pointless questions, especially when it only seemed to send him slipping further into a panic. 

He never knew what he was supposed to do in situations like this. He liked to think his presence helped; after all, he was the only who'd been there with Sanji, though Zeff thought his issues began with something long before the shipwreck, and Sanji never stopped letting him in. But he'd never quite been a smooth talker, save for with women, and always found himself tongue-tied in situations like these. Zeff wasn't one for emotions, and Sanji was perhaps the most emotional boy he'd ever known.

There wasn't much to do besides perch on his bed, sitting as far away from Sanji as possible to give him space, and frown, trying to act as if his heart wasn't ripping in two at each muffled cry.

It must have been an especially bad night. Zeff realized that as his cries slowly quieted and his small, trembling frame steadily inched closer. Finally, Sanji's knee, barely a fraction of the size, touched his own. He was tense, more than before, and skittish, as if any wrong move from Zeff could send him running. It probably would. So Zeff did nothing, allowing Sanji his own time to decide.

They'd never been affectionate with each other. Zeff had never been affectionate with anyone, really, except for in the brief way that sailors met with women, something as intimate as these moments with Sanji but in an entirely different way.

Zeff had only ever used his body for that and fighting, which only made this harder. It wasn't like the other times Samji had reached out for him, right after the rock, or even in the midst of it, when he threw himself at Zeff in a moment of reckless grief, while Zeff wrapped his arms around him, trying to offer comfort in a way he didn't know how.

This was different. Slower. Intentional. Calculated, even. 

It wasn't a helpless boy blindly reaching out to soothe the ache in his heart, but it was a helpless boy reaching out to him.

Sanji wanted him.

Zeff waited. Sanji continued to creep closer until he leaned into Zeff's side, and finally, slowly, gently, slower and gentler than he ever thought he could be, Zeff wrapped his arm around him, pulling Sanji into a hug.

Sanji buried his face in his chest, his own clumsy arms wrapping around Zeff, clutching handfuls of his shirt as if he was afraid to let go, afraid this would end.

"You're alright now," he said, voice gruffer, and a bit more emotional, than he intended. He lifted one hand, stroking his hair, the other rubbing his back, trying to remember what soothed him all those long years ago when he was a boy. "That's over. You're alright."

Sanji held onto him all night, crying until he finally slipped back into sleep, and Zeff stayed there, awake and cursing the growing ache in his back, until it was time for morning prep, when he shook Sanji awake, squeezing his shoulder one last time before leaving him to get ready for the day. 

-

Neither of them spoke about what happened.

They barely spoke at all, save for a mini-screaming match when Zeff tried to drown Sanji's dish in oregano before it was sent out to his patrons.

It was a busy day, but at least they had had a functioning waitstaff for once—thank god for small mercies. Zeff didn't have the time to babysit Sanji, not anymore than usual, when he had to try and keep the rest of his rowdy crew in line, though he figured the reason at least half of their customers were there was in hopes of seeing the rumored fighting pirates.

There was hardly even a moment for him to sit down, rest his leg and back, and get some shut eye, though the sips of alcohol he savored between the lunch and dinner rushes helped.

But at the end of the day, he was more drunk on exhaustion than anything else, practically stumbling over his feet as he stalked through the kitchen, ensuring every surface and every dish was up to his standards. On days like these, the last day before they hauled up their anchor and moved on, his men tended to get lazy, a problem he could never solve no matter how many times he yelled at them. Except for one, who shared his dutiful dedication to maintaining a clean kitchen.

"Shouldn't you be heading off?" Zeff asked, glancing at Sanji as he silently swept the floors. "A growing boy needs his rest."

"I could say the same. Doesn't a shitty old man need his beauty sleep?"

He grunted. They both knew why he was so tired, and they both knew why Sanji didn't want to go to sleep, but they both said nothing. Didn't matter much tonight, anyway. They could both sleep in, supposing Sanji managed to stay asleep for once. Zeff put a kettle on the stove. Tea usually helped Sanji get through the night.

"Come here, kid," he called, after the tea was brewed. Sanji always preferred it sweeter, so he added a dollop of sugar and spoonful of honey, while he added something a little stronger to his.

Zeff kicked a stool in his direction, and he sat down, gratefully taking the mug that came along with it and enjoying a long sip. 

"Not as shit as usual," he said, which was about as good a compliment as any, coming from him.

Leaning against the counter next to him, Zeff took a much needed drink of his own, glaring down at him. "You don't need to help me down here every night. Not that you're much help."

"'Not much help'? I'm the only reason people come to this shithole!"

"Mm. Are you then?" He didn't have the energy for this now. Damn kid.

"I'm the only half-decent chef you have!"

Zeff would never understand where his arrogance came from, not that it was entirely unwarranted. He had made Sanji his sous-chef for a reason, and it wasn't just his fondness for him.

"And who's the one that taught how to make those fancy little dishes, eggplant?"

"It doesn't matter when you drown everything in oregano."

"It's a delicacy!"

"It's for savages!" He slammed his empty mug on the counter, his one visible eye glaring daggers at Zeff, who had to resist the urge to laugh. It'd be a good few years before Sanji got anywhere close to intimidating him.

"You're too young. Palate hasn't developed yet," he waved him off, collecting his glass to wash it in the sink. No need making the kid do it, not when he was practically about to fall off his stool.

"No, you're too old. Can't taste shit anymore."

Zeff rolled his eyes. He didn't know why he always started a fight. Just his attitude, he supposed. He had to take in a kid with the worst personality imaginable. And it didn't help that he was eerily similar to how Zeff had been at that age.

"I can still see well enough, and you're done for the night."

Sanji stumbled to his feet, knowing he was right but not wanting to agree with him. "You look worse than I do."

"Mhm. Then let's both get to bed," he said, because Sanji was right too, and he couldn't bother to keep up with any more banter.

Nudging him in the back, Zeff wasn't prepared for Sanji's violent flinch that almost sent him toppling over. He resisted his instinct to reach out and steady him, figuring that would only make things worse. Instead, Sanji's fingers dug into the countertop, clutching it so hard his knuckles paled, and he turned towards Zeff, eyeing him wearily.

They stared at each other for a moment, silent, before Zeff sighed. 

"Go on. Up to bed."

Sanji only nodded and trudged along. Zeff supposed they hadn't made as much progress as he thought. He'd have to be more careful next time.

-

Zeff always preferred days when Baratie was sailing. As much as he enjoyed the regular hustle and bustle, serving whatever customers had washed up that day, he enjoyed these quiet moments more.

It was good, standing on deck and watching the ship bob in the water, breathing in the sea breeze that was never the same when they were stagnant. He craved the movement, the sailing. And the quiet. Which made him feel like the old man Sanji always insisted he was. As if he was coaxing into retirement and savoring easy days on the sea.

But there was never anything easy on Baratie. 

After he'd assembled his men to yell at them about their lazy behavior yesterday and lack of respect, they were dismissed and shuffled out of the kitchen, grumbling among each other but knowing better than to stand up to Zeff.

They'd be really punished later, but a light scalding was enough for now. Especially when he had other plans.

Sanji crept into the kitchen, eagerly buzzing around with a frantic energy Zeff rarely saw. That was another good thing about it. On days like these, Sanji was more excited than Zeff had ever seen him.

It was like there was finally life in the kid. His cheeks flushed, eyes bright, and joy palpable. He couldn't shut up either. The whole time he was rambling, trying to spew out his mess of ideas all at once that had been building up in his head since the last time they did this.

It really wasn't anything that special, and it always led to more than one argument between them, but Sanji liked to offer his input to these menu changes, even when most of his ideas consisted of trite, over-inspired pieces of shit. Though Sanji felt the same way about most of Zeff's dishes. 

After gathering up all of his ingredients and managing to form his ramblings into something coherent, Sanji prepared his sample dishes with Zeff watching closely, correcting his mistakes or suggesting alternate techniques. Sanji was always surprisingly receptive to his advice, though he was always an enthusiastic student, and Zeff thought he preferred it when they were alone like this. Even if he still protested oregano coming anywhere near his food. Damn rebellious kid.

It took the entire day and only two fights that escalated so far Zeff worried Sanji would grab the knife on the cutting board and stab him, which was better than usual. They'd sampled enough dishes that neither of them were hungry, nor the rest of the crew, not when they called in a member or two for a third opinion, or a witness when their fights got especially heated.

The kitchen was a mess, but it wasn't their problem. Zeff wanted to head in early, and his crew had to be punished for their mess yesterday, so making them deal with disaster was only fair. With all of them working together, it wouldn't take too long anyway, unless they got into a fight—no, until they got into a fight, forcing Zeff to straighten them out again.

But until then, he pulled Sanji with him above deck to relax for a change.

The sun was already beginning to set; the sky fading into a pinkish-reddish color as Zeff sat down to watch it. Now he really was acting like an old man. Maybe he should start thinking about retirement. 

He glanced at Sanji, but he seemed to be enjoying himself as well, even with something as simple as this. It seemed they both savored these little, simple moments.

Now would be a good time to continue their other training. Zeff had been teaching the boy to fight, only simple moves so far, though their progress was slowed by Zeff's own efforts to adjust to his new leg. But it was late, and they were both tired, even if yesterday was one of Sanji's better nights. He'd put it off for another day.

Zeff was so absorbed by his thoughts that he almost didn't register the movement in the corner of his eye. Not until Sanji was noticeably closer to him.

It was different this time. Maybe it was because of his excitable attitude today, or maybe he was starting to feel just a bit more at ease around him, but Sanji, in one quick, casual motion, pressed into Zeff's side, leaning against him. 

His body was stiff, no matter how nonchalant he tried to act, and when Zeff looked at him closely enough, he could see the slight shake in his hands. It took a few minutes before Sanji began to relax, his tense muscles easing into the touch, and in another act of courage, he leaned his head against Zeff's shoulder.

He was warm. That was the first thing Zeff noticed. He wasn't used to being touched like this. Besides Sanji's fits after his nightmares and consoling his men who managed to survive the battle but not much afterwards, he hadn't been this close to someone since he was a child. Even then, no one ever reached out to him, curling up beside him the way Sanji did.

It was oddly comfortable, and Zeff found himself enjoying the affection more than he should. This was something he never could've imagined, not at his age. 

While he never disliked children, he'd never been particularly fond of them either. And as much as he respected women, he never found one that interested him; no men either, so he never imagined settling down with someone, starting a family, not when his first love was cooking. But here he was, with Sanji. And he couldn't deny his growing affection for the boy, even if he was as rude and shitty as most of the grown men Zeff knew and more traumatized and disturbed than any child should be. He couldn't be sure—it was something he'd never experienced before—but Zeff thought his affection must have been something like that a father felt for his child.

It was a troubling thought that was becoming more persistent, and he had no clue if Sanji felt the same, but that was a problem for another time.

Now, it didn't matter. He simply shifted, leaning his own head against Sanji's to reciprocate the touch and imagined the nervous smile on the kid's face that he must've been fighting so hard to hide.

-

Maybe this had gone too far, Zeff realized, far, far too late to do anything about it.

It started simple enough. 

Sanji had always been a fidgety kid, a fact that Zeff and practically anyone who knew him more than an hour could realize. He was never still, always moving, always squirming. And clumsy, too. He was prone to tripping over his own feet, something that their training had made marginally better so far, but Zeff still held onto the hope that he'd fall out of it with age when the rest of his body grew into his long legs.

Zeff didn't mind; truly, he found it more entertaining than anything else to see the boy bounce around the kitchen. It never interfered with his work, Sanji was far too professional for that, but there were times when Sanji's body moved and fidgeted around so quickly Zeff swore his limbs would fly off, and Sanji swore that he'd die of boredom if something didn't change. 

So Zeff came up with a solution. A rather practical one, he liked to think. Instead of twiddling with his fingers or tugging at the strings of his apron or furiously flapping his hands, Zeff, like a practical seaman, taught him how to tie knots. Figured it'd pay off, considering how much of his life the boy spent on a ship.

He'd bring him up to the deck, show him the ropes and give a brief explanation, then show him how to tie every knot just right and send him off with a smaller scrap to practice.

It seemed to help, though they never talked about such things. Sanji simply practiced his knots, asking Zeff when he wasn't sure if he'd gotten it right, and he'd whip it out and practice anytime he got bored, during lulls between the dinner and lunch rush or at night, in bed, when he was trying to fall asleep.

Zeff didn't know how it ended up like this. He'd noticed Sanji's habit, how he'd begun to unconsciously twist strands into his complicated knots, like his apron or the loose fibers on his cheap blanket. It'd escalated fast.

Sanji must've known it would be another bad night, because he didn't bother going to his own room, instead silently teetering after Zeff to stay with him. He didn't like to be alone on bad nights.

There hadn't even been any sign of it, any indication; he simply leveled a heavy stare at Zeff and not asked, ordered him.

"Stay still. I need to try something."

"What are you planning?" He asked warily, recognizing that glint in Sanji's eye that was only there when he got up to mischief, an occasion that was becoming less and less rare.

"Quiet. I need to focus."

Then Sanji was sitting cross-legged in front of him as Zeff sat, back pressed against the headboard. He had to lean down an uncomfortable amount for Sanji to, much to his horror, reach his mustache as he began working on whatever convoluted idea he had.

Zeff wasn't sure what he was doing, as his eyes were firmly closed—and Sanji began yelling at him anytime he so much as tried to peak them open—but it seemed as if Sanji was styling his hair, hands working with a surprising gentleness and expected hurriedness, though it seemed as if his rush ruined his work, judging his heaving sigh every few minutes as he straightened out Zeff's mustache to start over. Always a perfectionist.

It was annoying, like Sanji always was, but Zeff found he didn't mind the intrusion as much as he thought he should. Not that or the tedious ache once again spreading through his back or the feeling of pins-and-needles in his legs that had fallen asleep under Sanji's weight, who sat precariously on top of them.

Perhaps he couldn't complain because he knew what Sanji had been like mere weeks and months before, and that boy never would've afforded Zeff with this casual closeness, one that made an unsettling happiness grow in him, because he knew that they were getting somewhere, that this makeshift ship was becoming closer and closer to the little eggplant's home, and that did, ashamedly, make Zeff happy.

"Okay, I'm done," Sanji finally announced, and Zeff let out a sigh, of relief or disappointment he wasn't sure.

"On with it then," he opened his eyes, this time without any urgent protest from Sanji, and shifted his good leg with a smile too fond for his liking. "Up so I can look."

Something resembling a scowl appeared on Sanji's face, but it was gone just as quickly as he scrambled off of him, rolling onto the side of the bed. Zeff took his time, ignoring Sanji's protests, to stand up, letting feeling come back into his limbs as he stretched before trudging over to his drawers, accompanied with a small mirror hanging above it.

It was about what he'd expected. Zeff's mustache was styled into two somewhat unkempt braids, tied up with his usual blue ribbons. It wasn't half bad, not for the eggplant's first try, and Zeff didn't recall teaching him any braids. He wondered where he'd learned how to do that, but now wasn't the time for questions.

"Right. We done here?"

Sanji's cheeks puffed out slightly, tinged red as his face morphed into a pout. He always did wear his emotions on his sleeve, no matter how much he tried to hide it. Reluctantly, he nodded and stood from the bed. 

Zeff turned out the lamp, settling back down into his bed and sparing a glance at Sanji. "You layin' down or not?"

There was a moment of awkward shuffling, Sanji's head darting back and forth between Zeff's bed and the door, looking as if he wished he had that rope on him to give his body something to do and soothe his mind.

After an uncomfortable amount of time passed, Sanji perched himself at the edge of the bed, slowly laying down, as if he was scared Zeff would change his mind and yell at him to scram.

He didn't. He had an extra blanket and pillow, so he didn't mind at all, though if he had to, he knew he would've given his own to Sanji to make him comfortable—the kid hardly got enough sleep as it was.

"Night," he grunted, then added, far too impulsively, "Didn't do half bad with the hair."

For a moment, he thought he imagined Sanji's muffled sounds of joy, but then he only laughed quietly to himself, thinking about all the trouble this dumb kid brought with him.

Zeff was going soft, and he couldn't bring himself to care.

-

Morning was quiet. Zeff woke up first, squinting at his window, watching the faint rays of light trickle in.

It was early, but he wasn't ready to go back to sleep. Instead, he carefully shifted in the bed, turning on his side to face Sanji. He was still sleeping, lying curled up on his stomach. Zeff didn't realize how much he moved in his sleep, not until Sanji woke him up more than once in the night with a flying limb.

He'd seen him sleeping before. After Sanji had crossed to his side of the rock and discovered Zeff's secret, there was less distance between them. Less reason to hide. And Sanji seemed to, for whatever reason, like the company of bitter old men, apparently as much as Zeff like the company of snarky young kids. But there were some nights when Sanji fell asleep there, with Zeff. He'd moved around too then, violently, thrashing so much Zeff feared he'd fall right into the ocean. He was prone to nightmares then too, but he didn't have any more tears to cry by then, just hiccuping gasps that sounded so painful coming from his dry, aching throat.

He wasn't having a nightmare now. His face was relaxed, not curled up in an aching knot of dread like it usually was. His chest rose and fell with calm, steady breaths. Zeff couldn't see it clearly, not in the dim light, but he heard it, and the noise was a comfort.

Another impulse. That's what Zeff wanted to blame it on. Say that his arm had a mind of its own; that he acted without thinking. He didn't know if that was better or worse than the truth.

But he did know what he was doing. And he wanted to. That was the reason. 

That was the reason he reached his hand out, with a touch lighter and gentler than he ever thought he was capable of, combing through Sanji's hair to fix the disheveled mess.

It was soft and void of any obnoxious clumps, both traits he attributed to Sanji's fixation with his appearance. Just had to look good for the ladies, apparently. Not that any took interest in him. The little eggplant had about as much charm as one.

Hair straightened, his hand trailed further down, rubbing gentle, soothing circles into the back of his neck. It was something he normally only did after a nightmare, when Sanji cried and clung to him, but it seemed appropriate now too. He thought it was good for Sanji. He always slept better when Zeff held him.

Except now. Sanji twitched, and Zeff worried he'd wake him, so he lightened his touch, fingers barely grazing the skin, and that's when he heard it.

A giggle.

The noise was muffled by the pillows, but it was unmistakable in the quiet of his room. Something high-pitched and boyish and utterly unexpected. 

Zeff's hand stilled, staring intently at Sanji. His body was still and breathing steady. He'd heard Sanji talk before in his sleep, but laugh? That seemed odd. Unless it was something else.

Curiously, he continued his light movement, holding back a laugh of his own when he noticed Sanji squirm, twisting back and forth but trying so hard to hide it. 

So he was awake. And Zeff didn't see why he shouldn't have his fun.

He changed tactics, switching to scratching at Sanji's neck, touch still light, using just his blunt nails.

There was another noise; this one was more like a muffled whine, low in his throat and barely contained. One of his arms shifted, trying for a subtly he had never been gifted with, and pushed the pillow further into his face, hiding his wide smile. 

How stupid did Sanji think he was? He wasn't sure he actually wanted to know after this. And if Zeff said something, he knew it'd ruin the moment. He didn't want to.

He didn't, so he continued tickling the boy who he'd become uncomfortably fond of.

His hand drifted, grazing across the side of his neck in a way that made Sanji's shoulders scrunch up. He couldn't contain himself anymore, and soft giggles poured out of him. The kid was oddly cute like this, and that fond feeling he had for Sanji only grew.

Zeff was careful. They'd never done anything like this—he doubted Sanji'd ever even been tickled before—and they were still in a somewhat precarious position surrounding the kid's tolerance for any touch at all. He wasn't one to be playful, but Zeff figured this was the closest he'd ever get as he moved to new spots.

Sanji chortled when he scratched under his chin, and seeming to have given up the act of pretending to be asleep, kicked his legs when Zeff's fingers prodded at his ears. The strongest reaction came when he scribbled at his back—Zeff hadn't even known backs could be ticklish—making an alarmed high-pitched sound that Zeff could only call a squeal, grip around the pillow tightening, trying to hide his embarrassment or laugh or something, Zeff figured.

After a few more moments, Zeff stopped, pulling his hand away and waiting for Sanji to collect himself. It took a long time for his laughter to calm down, but Zeff only watched, unable to help his own amused smile.

Finally, Sanji removed his face from the pillow, looking up at Zeff. His face was completely flushed, and he had a large, dopey smile on his face that Zeff had only ever seen when he was talking to a girl. Dumb kid.

"Um…" Sanji brought the pillow to his chest, hugging it tightly and partially obscuring his face. "What was that?"

"Tickling. Ever happened to you before?"

He shook his head, eyes flitting away from Zeff with a sad look. He was quiet, seemingly lost in thought, and Zeff watched him, waiting for Sanji to gather himself. 

It took a few minutes before he dropped the pillow, propping himself up. There was still a trace of sadness, but there was something else, something Zeff couldn't quite place.

His eyes were big and droopy, fatigue weighing down his lashes and a smile, albeit faint, dragged across his lips. In the quiet of these late nights and early mornings, there was something different about Sanji, more tender. Like the darkness of the sky cloaked them in a veil of security, wrapping around his shoulders and tucking him in with the same comfort of a loving parent.

Leaning closer, a yawn breezing past his lips, Sanji shifted further towards Zeff, mumbling, "'t's nice."

"Guess so," he grunted and, seeing the expectant look on his face, reached back out, curling his fingers into Sanji's side until he burst into another fit of giggles.

Zeff supposed it was quite nice.

-

Sanji, by some miracle, had actually managed to fall back asleep after crying for mercy. 

Zeff wasn't tired, but he stayed, figuring Sanji wouldn't like waking up alone, and there wasn't much work to be done today anyway; he could let him sleep in. He grabbed a book at random from his shelf, biding the time by staring absentmindedly at the pages, his attention always somehow drifting back to Sanji. It was almost annoying, the grip that the kid had on him.

When he did wake up, scolding Zeff for letting them stay in that late and wasting so much of the day as if Sanji was actually the adult. It was stupidly endearing.

Zeff, like always, brushed away his concerns. "Then stop complaining and help me get ready."

"Help?" Sanji asked, indignant, and Zeff sorrowfully remembered what an attitude he had on him. "What do you need now, old man? A diaper change?"

Sighing, he only gestured to his face, watching the confusion spread across Sanji's face and sighing again. 

"The braids," he huffed, untying the ribbons. "They need to be redone."

Sometime during the night, or perhaps during his horseplay with Sanji, the hair had become wildly unruly, strands unwinding and sticking out at odd angles.

Sanji stared at him for a long moment like he was stupid. Then asked, in an oddly anxious voice, "What?"

"You heard me. Get on with it."

He couldn't bite back his smile. His whole face lit up, and no matter how hard he always tried to hide it, Sanji still always wore his heart on his sleeve, and his joy was infectious. Shuffling closer, he carefully reworked Zeff's mustache, hair now slightly curled, into a neat braid, redoing them both a few times until he was satisfied with his work, staring at Zeff proudly.

It was better than the ones yesterday; Zeff had to give him credit for that.

"Good work, little eggplant," he said, staring at himself in the mirror. "Now you go get ready. It's late."

Sanji, ever the dutiful worker, hurried out, but Zeff caught the blinding smile on his face before he left.

It was worth the odd stares he got from the rest of his crew, and none of them had the courage to say anything after Zeff stared down the first person who'd so much as uttered a word about it.

Unless it was a compliment, which he tolerated in silence only because it brought that bright smile back to Sanji's face, and the kid deserved the praise. 

The day was slow and calmer than Baratie had any right to be. 

There was an odd lightness in Sanji; Zeff didn't know if it was because of him, but he was glad.

And he was even happier when it seemed to persist into the next day and the next. 

They still bickered, of course—the kid—his kid—just had to bitch about every little thing. They spent long days cooking together, sweating and struggling in their somehow always understaffed restaurant. They trained together on those off days, splitting time between cooking and fighting. And in those early mornings, late nights, and all the time in between, they regarded each other with a new softness, with the playful and affectionate touches Sanji had become accustomed to, the ones he craved.

And Zeff, forever worn out by the rude, annoying kid he'd ended up with, always indulged him, his little eggplant.

[rodricksfilipinagf]

Muffins and Morning Sex Part 2 (Jamie Tartt x Reader)

      Jamie takes me to the London Eye, even though I tell him I have the most intense fear of heights. He uses his clout (and bribes the operator) into getting us a private compartment. Jamie uses one of my Hermes scarves to blindfold me, and we spend the entire ride having sex.

        When he gets off, he has to sign a few autographs and take pictures with some tourists. He’s kind and patient with them, rather than acting like they’re beneath him or he has better things to do. He also tells two starry-eyed little boys that they could be like him one day if they work hard, and lets them hug him, which was heart-meltingly adorable to watch.

        “So that’s what it takes to get you to be nice?” I tease him later on while we’re in his car. “Be a fan?”

        “Pretty much, yeah.” Jamie throws me an easy smile. “They know how lucky they are to be around me.”

        “Wow.” I roll my eyes.

        “For instance, this restaurant I’m taking you to is mad expensive, but they’ll offer to let us eat for free if they post a pic of me eating there,” Jamie explains.

        “Wow, you’re sure you don’t want to check if you look good first then?”

        Jamie scoffs. “I always look good. And I’m paying.”

        “Why?” I ask. It isn’t a date. It’s not like I’m expecting him to pay, or will be disgusted with him if he uses his celebrity status to get us a free meal.

        “Cause I can,” Jamie answers simply.

        When we get there, I order truffle mac and cheese, and Jamie makes fun of me relentlessly about how I thought it would be dotted with chocolate. He ordered steak for himself, of course.

        “Thought you were supposed to be the posh one,” he mocks. “How do you think something that stupid?”

        “Sorry for being a literal thinker…is it so weird to have chocolate on your mac and cheese?” I defend myself.

        Jamie laughs. “Maybe not to you. Is that common in America?”

        “No,” I say.

        “Then you’re the weird one,” Jamie says.

        We somehow get through the rest of the meal without killing each other, and maybe even having fun.

        Tristan would be coming back home soon from his sleepover, so Jamie drove me back shortly afterwards.

        “Thanks…for today,” I say awkwardly outside his apartment. “I don’t know if you treat all your hookups like this…”

        “Not really,” Jamie replies. “Just the annoying American cockblocking ones.”

        I scowl. “Jamie, I swear to God…..”

        He chuckles. “Getting you worked up never gets old.” He gathers me into his arms, and gives me a kiss I’m sure to be thinking about once I return to my own place. “Feel free to text me nudes,” he suggests, and snickers when I give him a dirty look.

        “Fuck you,” I say.

        “I’ll be thinking of you naked tonight,” Jamie brazenly informs me. “You can use my number in other ways then. Later.” He winks at me before swaggering into his apartment.

        Seriously? He’s inviting me to sext him? He is unbelievably cocky.

        After I put Tristan to bed, I can’t help but think of Jamie. How sexy he is, and how unbelievable it is that he’d be thinking of me right now. My phone buzzes with a text.

Jamie: Any second thoughts ab showing me your tits? ;)

Me: You see them in person or not at all ;)

        I wonder what he’s going to say to that.

Jamie: You saying you want to come over, then?

Jamie: We know your track record for keeping quiet when I’m inside you.

Me: I hate you smmmmmmm

Jamie: Are you picturing me naked too?

Me: Yes

Jamie: Touch yourself. I’m doing the same.

Me: No thanks. I want to wait for you to touch me yourself.

Jamie: Aww you’re sweet

Me: Good night, Jamie.

        Jamie sends me the tongue emoji, multiple eggplant and nut emojis.

Jamie: Gn love ;)

[desertfangs]

Swipe Right - Chapter 5 - The thrilling and sexy conclusion

After more radio silence and uncertainty, Daniel reaches out to Armand again to ask him on a date and things go better than he could have hoped.

This is the last chapter, but there is a lot of potential in this world for a sequel and more intrigue: Daniel meets Marius? Armand and Daniel have a threesome with Louis? Lestat enters the chat? IDK.

But either way, I had a blast writing this human dating app AU and I appreciate everyone who's commenting and cheered me on. I hope you enjoy the ending!

Short Excerpt:

After work, he came home and sat at his computer, where he worked on editing his own podcast until late in the evening. Then he headed to the bar for dinner and a drink, and if he was lucky, maybe he’d find someone to interview. 

Unfortunately, tonight the Pink Baby was deserted. The drag bar down the street had Thursday Karaoke and most people who were out on a cold autumn work night were there. Daniel checked his phone. Nothing. 

He hadn’t heard from Armand since their sexting last week. He’d texted him a few times, but gotten no response. He was so hot and cold–-mostly cold–-and Daniel didn’t know how to feel about it, other than bummed Armand didn’t seem very eager to see him again. 

A coworker had invited him to a show on Friday. His girlfriend’s band was playing and Daniel looked them up, and then scrolled aimlessly around social media for a bit. 

On a whim, he checked the dating app. No new matches. He looked for Armand’s profile and realized it was gone. His pulse raced and his stomach churned. He’d deleted it. But why? Had he gotten back with Louis? Had he found someone else? 

Daniel thought about texting Louis to ask but didn’t know how to word it without sounding crazy, and besides, it wasn’t really his business. He didn’t dare ask Armand, given that their last conversation about his other relationships had not gone well. 

But he could ask him on a date. His heart hammered as he typed the text message: “Hey, a friend’s band is playing tomorrow night. Want to come to the show with me?” 

He hesitated, taking a long swig of his beer, before hitting send. His pulse raced and he stared at his phone. Nothing. He finished his beer and ordered a second. Someone messaged him on a social media app and Daniel thought his heart was going to explode until he saw it wasn’t Armand.

By the time he got home, he’d given up all hope. Whatever Daniel thought they had, bedroom blowjobs and weird sexting aside, Armand clearly had no interest in him. 

He put on pajamas and got into bed. His phone buzzed on his nightstand. He grabbed it so fast he nearly knocked it onto the floor. 

It was Armand. Daniel swallowed uneasily, eyes moving over the text: “Yes, okay, I suppose I owe you one.” 

Daniel smiled. “Yes, that is how dates work,” he typed in reply. He hit send and then immediately regretted it, wondering if Armand would appreciate the sarcasm. Maybe he should have just replied with something more chill, like “Cool, see you tomorrow.” He agonized over it until his phone pinged again.

“In which case, I believe you owe me.” The text was followed by an eggplant emoji. “But perhaps I’ll reward you again if things go well.” 

Daniel laughed, relief washing over him. “Happy to pay up,” he replied. 

Read the Rest on AO3

[elvenbeard]

Spinning

Cyberpunk 2077 Fanfic Summary: V and Kerry try to figure out if they're living the real "mayor candidate of Night City" lifestyle. After the tension of the last days, weeks, and months though, some well-needed stress relief is in order, too. (Post-Sun-Ending, mostly canon-compliant, Chapter 5/?, 4818 words, Kerry Eurodyne/V, rated E for eggplant-emoji) - author's notes at the end!

>> Previous Chapter >> Read from the Beginning

“Um, I’m really not sure if this is safe!” Lee called down to them over his shoulder, clinging to the narrow ladder with all his might. His shiny blue-and-gold-striped blazer fluttered like a weathervane, while his perfectly styled bright-blue pompadour sat on his head like a helmet… only that it wouldn’t prevent his skull from cracking should he fall.

“Just keep goin’, dammit, you’re almost there!” Kerry annoyedly gestured him to hurry. Lee swallowed audibly, then looked back up towards the roof of the penthouse and continued at an agonizingly slow pace.

“Should’ve let me go, he’s gonna piss himself any moment now,” V muttered as he watched the scene play out, standing by Kerry’s side.

“Abso-fuckin’-lutely not,” Kerry shook his head vehemently, arms crossed, “You’re not climbin’ anywhere anytime soon.”

V sighed. He would have managed somehow, for sure, but Kerry had already refused to let him search for any signs of Blue-Eye’s tech inside the penthouse. He had been banished to the sofa, then the bed, doomed to rest himself and take it slow, only giving directions and pointing Kerry to places that could have been bugged or otherwise tempered with in the way he’d seen it done it in the mayor's apartment. They really had been thorough, and Kerry was taking this as seriously as V. But still, he didn’t know if he should be relieved or not, having found nothing suspicious yet. At the Peralez’ place there’d been that communications system on the rooftop, and since Kerry simply didn’t want to climb up and V couldn’t, it was now up to Kerry’s manager to make himself useful. V had been hesitant about getting Lee involved, but on the other hand he would simply do what Kerry told him without asking questions.

“I did it!” Lee yelled from the rooftop ecstatically, straightening up with his hands on his hips, “Wow, the view from up here is something…”

“You don’t have to yell for fuck’s sake, we can hear you over the holo!” Kerry rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. After a short pause he turned to V with his voice much calmer again, his expression softer.

“Any second thoughts?”

“The painkillers they gave me are pretty good,” V shrugged, “Doubt this is gonna make it worse by much. And I don’t trust that he knows what he’s supposed to be lookin’ for on his own.”

The biggest downside of this plan really, but admittedly, V didn’t have a better idea at the given time either. And he sure as hell wouldn’t be able to wind down without being at least somewhat certain they weren’t being monitored here.

“Alright,” Kerry sighed, then raised a finger at V, almost like a scolding parent, and much to V’s amusement, “But you stop if it gets too much. I just gotta give him a call and we’ll send him back up again anytime. Okay?”

“Promise,” V smiled at Kerry, who finally relaxed his shoulders a bit and then fully uncrossed his arms to take V’s hand.

“Uh, I’m ready whenever!” Lee yelled, double thumbs up, and Kerry groaned, muting himself of the holocall.

“Fuck, dunno where he gets the energy from…”

“Drugs?” V shrugged.

“Whatever he’s takin’, I want some.”

V chuckled, regretting it immediately at the sharp pain shooting through his chest – dulled from the meds, but not gone. Then he focused his scanner on Lee and hacked into his optics, unmuting himself at the same time to be able to direct him around.

“Oh, wow, that was weird,” Lee gasped as V’s vision glitched and he found himself on top of the penthouse too now, looking down at himself and Kerry, while still feeling Kerry’s touch giving him stability. He’d never get used to this.

“Alright, turn around,” V said, “Gimme a walkaround of the whole rooftop area, so I get an overview of the layout.”

Lee nodded.

“And don’t… do that. Don’t move your head around too much.”

“Oh, understood!”

Then Lee did as he was told, slowly walking around the roof and following V’s instructions to a T. He had decent Kiroshis, but still not the software and modifications that V was used to, so it took him a couple of minutes to just adjust to that as well, on top of looking through another person’s eyes. It was frustrating that he couldn’t scan some of the tech installed on the roof in the way he wanted to, had to manually instruct Lee to do this or that, look closer at certain panels, follow wires, or open up compartments that shouldn’t normally be opened by people who didn’t know what they were doing. Lee’s constant babbling and whining didn’t help.

“You still good?” Kerry asked after about ten minutes of intensive search, “You’re… swaying a bit.”

“Lemme take another quick look at the AC unit,” V said, but that sentence alone cost him a lot of strength, words coming out only somewhat slurred.

“Vince, don’t overdo it. You promised.”

Kerry’s voice was stern and simultaneously so full of worry, V could downright see his face before him.

“Okay. You’re right… sorry.”

He disconnected from Lee’s optics, and it was good that Kerry was still holding his hand, otherwise he might have just keeled over.

“Woah, shit!” Kerry gasped and V clung to him, stumbling slightly, falling into his arms more or less.

“I’m good, I’m good,” V caught his breath, but he was glad to be able to lean against Kerry for support, “Gimme a minute, my head’s spinning a little.”

“Told you not to overdo it,” Kerry muttered and helped him sit down on one of the nearby deck chairs. After a few deep breaths the dizziness already started to fade again. V grinned at Kerry, and it made his frown slowly melt and change into a soft smile as well.

“Can… can I come down again now?” Lee asked and Kerry and V both sighed deeply, paused to look at the other, then started laughing.

“Yeah, move your ass back down,” Kerry said and sat down next to V on the chair, ending the holocall.

“Love workin’ with amateurs,” V said, and Kerry scoffed.

“Fuckin’ tell me about it,” he said, “Should see him scuttle about the studio like a headless chicken. Wonder which of the label bosses’ dicks he’s sucked to get hired in the first place.”

“Maybe he’s someone’s nephew,” V suggested, and Kerry groaned.

“Good ol’ nepotism, even worse! Fuckin’ and suckin’ your way to the top at least involves a little bit of effort and initiative…”

Kerry let out a long, frustrated sigh, rubbing his face with both hands and pausing for a couple of seconds before turning back to V.

“Anything at all?” he asked, voice lowered, nodding in the direction of the roof. V carefully shook his head.

“Nah. Not sure if I’m relieved or not,” he said with a shrug.

“I’m relieved, for sure,” Kerry said calmly, his posture straightening again, “That’s gotta be worth somethin’, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is,” V nodded, and before he knew it Kerry had his arm around him, holding him close, fingers gently rubbing a tense spot on his upper back. V looked at him, and the way the midday sunlight bounced off of the silver lines on Kerry’s cheeks, the little gold plates, refracted across his freckles, was a sight he could never get enough of. His pretty blue Kiroshis were such a stark, cold contrast to his warm skin, their intensity mesmerizing as Kerry looked him over briefly as if to make sure he was really here with him. A gentle smile curled at the corners of his mouth, the distinguished grey in his beard adding to his radiance, and V’s heart skipped a beat or two. He couldn’t resist pressing a quick kiss against the small golden implant just below Kerry’s cheekbone, much to Kerry’s amusement. Then they just sat quietly, side by side, and watched Lee shakily climb down the maintenance ladder at the backside of the penthouse. It took him even longer to get down than it had taken him to get up, and while V couldn’t hear him, he could see that he was mumbling to himself the whole time.

“Since when is his hair blue?” he asked eventually, a little scared of the answer.

“Not that long, walked in like this last week or somethin’,” Kerry said, “Why?”

V sighed with relief.

“Just a reality check, I guess.”

Another brief pause, the silence between them drowned out by the howling wind announcing a sandstorm already towering in the distance, gunshots and police sirens on the streets below, AVs breezing above their heads. It was like any other day in Night City, and this realization was strangely comforting to V. Some things would never change, no matter how hard you fought them… and that was okay. The world would keep on turning, no matter what became of him, or Kerry, or anyone else.

He looked back at Kerry, who made a frowny face at whatever Lee was doing. V held his thought to just admire the view for a moment, Kerry puzzled and annoyed at the same time, surely a hundred insults at the tip of his tongue about how much he hated the guy – although not nearly as much as Kovachek. Kerry realized he was being watched quickly, as usual.

“What?” he asked with a grin, meeting V’s gaze.

“Nothin’,” V said almost automatically. He leaned into Kerry’s embrace a little bit more.

“I really never told you about the Johnny thing? Seein’ his reflection? Because I was so sure I did…”

Kerry shook his head gently.

“No, promise. That’s definitely something I’d’ve remembered,” he said.

V began to peel at the plastic seam of his cast again. Along the edges the material was kind of rough and a tiny pointy bit stuck out that had been annoying him the whole time already, poking and scratching him. It was too short to properly pinch it, but too thick to just clip it off without a tool. He sighed.

“I’m just… Makes me wonder what else I didn’t actually tell you that I’m sure I did. Y’know…” he hesitated to even think about it.

“Hm?”

V looked up from his hands at Kerry again, eyes big and questioning, but still an encouraging smile on his lips, making V’s heart flutter. On some days he was so numb from all that had happened, but these little moments reminded him he was still able to feel something after all. If he had the guarantee that the only emotion left in his body was his love for Kerry at the end, he probably wouldn’t be so scared of the things to come.

“It’s kinda sick to even think it,” he then said quietly, keeping an eye on Lee who had finally made it to the end of the ladder, “But I was hoping we’d find something. Inside, or up there.”

Kerry frowned, but even before V said it out loud, realization began to dawn in his eyes, his shoulders slumping, his lips parting slightly, but he said nothing just yet.

“’Cause if it’s not Blue-Eyes and his people messing with my head… Maybe this is just me really beginning to lose it. My mind. Myself. Like Alt predicted,” V said quietly.

Kerry seemed to want to say something, but after struggling with words for a few moments he just resorted to moving closer, bumping their foreheads together gently. V closed his eyes, basking in the comfort of Kerry’s presence.

He hated all of this so much, and even more he hated to put Kerry through it as well. Maybe he should’ve listened to Johnny… to not give into his feelings, that is, imagining a long-term relationship with Kerry when even back then his future had looked anything but rosy. On the other hand… he didn’t want to think about in what mental state he’d be now if Kerry wasn’t by his side. Whether he’d still be around at all.

Kerry moved away just enough to be able to look at V properly again, both opening their eyes. Kerry still had his left arm around V’s shoulders, his right hand reached up to cup V’s face, and he melted into the touch. Fuck, he’d been gone for how long, two, three days? And he’d missed this closeness, their quiet intimate moments so much, where neither of them had to say anything. They just understood the other’s pain and thoughts, so well sometimes it scared V a little bit. He could see it in Kerry’s eyes, the same fear sitting deep in his chest, the same worries in the lines on his forehead, his clenched jaw, the tension in his muscles and every movement.

“One day at a time,” Kerry then quietly said, “And positive thinking.”

“Yeah,” V nodded briefly.

In the next second though, much to their annoyance, their little moment was interrupted by Lee’s silhouette blocking out the sun as he approached. He was smiling awkwardly, not sure what to do with his hands, rummaging in the pockets of his blazer. Reluctantly Kerry lowered his hand, but not without brushing his thumb across V’s lips briefly, making him shiver in a good way for once. They both turned to look at Lee who cleared his throat, voice a little shaky as he began to speak.

“Well, that went well, right? I hope? Or… or not?” he asked, looking at them expectantly for a moment, but after receiving no answer, he just continued.

“Kerry, while I’m here… did you, by any chance, have a moment to look at the info I sent you yesterday? Regarding the Crystal Palace gig?”

V didn’t have to let even the faintest noise escape his lips before Kerry turned to look at him. They came to a silent understanding within not more than a second or two, both their expressions neutral to not give too much away in front of Lee. Their eyes spoke all the words necessary. Kerry turned back to his manager.

“Skimmed through it, yeah,” he said briefly.

“Ah, great!” Lee could barely contain his excitement… or rather, he tried everything in his power to mask his nervousness somehow, V got the impression. This guy was really gonna have a hard time in the corporate media world.

“So… what do you think? I can call them back right away, set a date, discuss specifics… Oh, was anything unclear I should ask first, do you have any questions about the conditions they stated?”

Kerry stared at Lee intensely, then threw another brief glance at V.

“Gimme a couple more days to think about it. I’ll call ya, or see ya at the studio or whatever,” Kerry decided and with a waving hand motion gestured him to leave.

“Oh, um, okay, well,” Lee stammered, “Sure, we can do that! Whatever you say! I uh… I’ll find the way out myself.”

“Lee,” Kerry said in a warning tone as he was about to turn around, “Remember: you weren’t here today. You saw nothin’.”

“Ah, yes, uh, of course!” he stammered, stumbling slightly as he turned around to eagerly nod.

Both V and Kerry looked after him as he then walked off, back inside and towards the direction of the elevator.

“Think he’s maybe just a little bit scared of us?” V grinned at Kerry. That finally brought Kerry’s smile back, cheeky, with a little mischievous glint in his eyes. He saw him like this too rarely lately and couldn’t help himself but reach out with his healthy hand, stroke his cheek, run his fingers along his cyberware, through his beard. Kerry closed his eyes and leaned into V’s hand now, in return causing V’s heart to bounce around like crazy. How dared he be so gorgeous?

“Not as much of us as of gettin’ the Kovachek-treatment if he gets funny with me,” Kerry said quietly, eyes still closed, and V chuckled.

“He got a yacht?”

“No, and he wouldn’t dare get one!” Kerry laughed, then blinked up at him and bit his lip, “But the pay bump he got for signing me just bought him a brand-new Caliburn. Or so I’ve heard.”

“Ohoho, interesting, interesting…” V mused, but before he could finish the thought Kerry leaned in and captured his lips in a kiss. It was chaste almost, for Kerry’s standards at least, just the softest nibble, the faintest flick of his tongue. V’s hand slipped to the back of Kerry’s head, across velvety buzzed hair, fingers massaging encouragingly. In contrast to the almost careful, gentle movement of his lips though, Kerry’s breath was hot and needy, and when he slowly, reluctantly pulled back, his cheeks were flushed, and his eyes wandered back to V’s mouth, his neck, his chest…

“Still up for a shower?” he then asked, and V didn’t have to say a thing before Kerry got up and pulled him with him.

They left a trail of clothes on their way inside, across the living room, up the stairs, laughing and whispering and peppering kisses on exposed skin in-between. V was still slower and more unsure in his movements than he would’ve liked, too stiff to get out of his shirt on his own, struggling to open the zipper on his pants, but Kerry was more than happy to help with both. The last piece of clothing dropped just before they reached the bathroom. Kerry’s kisses became greedier, devouring almost, and V let himself be guided to the shower blindly, arms around Kerry’s shoulders, Kerry’s touch purposeful but gentle, hands trailing down V’s sides, then coming to a rest on his hips. Hot water began to rain down on them as they stumbled into the shower, and V broke their kiss just for a moment, gasping at the sudden heat and the downpour of water on his bruises.

“All good?” Kerry asked out of breath, pupils blown wide with desire and V wanted to just lose himself in their beckoning darkness. He didn’t reply, instead pulled Kerry back against his mouth, a little awkwardly with only one healthy hand. Their teeth clashed briefly, eliciting an amused groan from Kerry. His grip on V’s hips grew tighter, but before long his hands wandered to the small of his back, sliding across wet skin down to his butt, leaving no air between their entangled bodies. V gasped, moaned into Kerry’s kiss, at the slight pain each touch, each of their movements caused him… but also at the realization of just how hard Kerry had gotten already, just from undressing and touching, holding and kissing each other like this…

“Vince,” Kerry gasped, the rawness of his voice causing V’s skin to tingle, and when Kerry then slipped his hand between V’s legs, V’s head began to spin.

“Oh, fuck… Kerry…” he didn’t even know how he was still talking, capable of forming words, teasing fingers knowing exactly where and how to touch to drive V crazy, circling, sliding, probing, with just the right amount of pressure. Hand digging into the soft skin and flesh of Kerry’s back, V’s hips instinctively bucked into Kerry’s rhythmic movements, and Kerry adjusted his own stance to grind himself against V’s leg. They’d broken their kiss, and instead now Kerry’s tongue was trailing down V’s neck. Kissing, gently biting along the edges of his chrome, Kerry did the same V loved to do him, because he knew how raw and sensitive ‘ganic skin could be around the edges of a piece of cyberware.

V relished in all the sensations… the hot water engulfing them, washing away the sweat and badlands dust that still stuck to him, Kerry’s touch and kisses, his soft moans and heavy breathing against V’s neck, wet sounds and grunts echoing from the bathroom tiles. The impressions took over V’s thoughts completely, the blissful pain and the soft warmth of Kerry’s skin, the slight scratch and tickle of his beard, the slowly fading but still distinct scent of his cologne… His own racing heartbeat, the tingling heat pooling deep inside him as Kerry got him closer to the edge with every touch, ground against him with intense lust, pushing away all the fear and hurt and worry. Even if it was only temporarily, V embraced all logic and concern leaving his body for this.

When Kerry pulled his hand away all of a sudden, V grunted in protest. Kerry’s fingernails dug into the sides of V’s thighs, and he glanced up at him through long dark eyelashes, out of breath and lips plump and so goddamn kissable… V couldn’t restrain himself, wanted to taste and devour him, lick into his hot wet mouth, breathe his air, become one with him. Kerry moaned against V’s lips, breath shaky, voice startled almost, but once more melting against him. His hands grabbed V’s hips harder, pinning him in place against the shower wall, and his hard, hot cock slipped where his hand had been before. V groaned, whimpering a curse and Kerry’s name against his mouth, and Kerry chuckled between moans and kisses.

They clung to the other like their lifeline, grinding and gasping with pleasure against each other, Kerry picking up the pace and V meeting his every movement.

“Fuck, you feel so good, Vince,” Kerry whispered against V’s neck, raspy voice almost drowned out by the rushing water, but still enough to nearly send him over the edge right then and there.

“I love you so much,” V gasped, and Kerry moaned his name, burying his face against the crook of V’s neck as his body tensed up against him and spilled his hot, sticky release between V’s thighs. It didn’t take much more for V to come, feeling so wanted, cherished, his profession of love of all things letting Kerry climax… V’s legs were shaking, his voice hoarse as he pulled Kerry against him, riding out his orgasm for as long as he could stay on his feet before the heavenly weight of the afterglow took over and they both sank down to the shower floor. Breathing heavily, they still held on to each other reassuringly, kept lazily kissing, were happy to just exist in this moment together without words, enjoying the warmth and silence. For a couple of minutes, the world seemed to have stopped turning after all.

“I’m gonna feel that tomorrow…” V chuckled as they laid in bed in each other’s arms shortly after, hair still wet and tousled, wrapped up loosely in a big soft towel together.

“Just not in the way you wanna, probably,” Kerry grinned, but then he frowned, “Hope I wasn’t too rough.”

“You know I like it a bit rough,” V teased.

“Yeah, but still.”

Kerry’s eyes wandered to the bruises on V’s chest again. He’d really been careful about not grabbing him too roughly there, but in the heat of the moment…

“I won’t break so easily,” V said, “And I didn’t realize how much I needed that.”

Kerry’s smile returned and he inched a little closer.

“Always happy to serve,” he purred, fingertips light as feathers trailing down V’s arm, all the way to his cast-covered hand.

“Aw crap, keep forgetting about that,” he mumbled, resorting to wrap his arm around V’s waist instead of lacing their fingers like they normally would. Outside, the sandstorm was just about to hit, dulling the sun and creating a strangely soothing, cozy orange glow around them. V was close to just dozing off, Kerry had his eyes shut as well, but he managed to not slip away just yet.

“Kerry?” he asked quietly.

“Mh-hm?” Kerry hummed without opening his eyes, not just looking but also sounding half-asleep already.

“I love you, no matter what happens… no matter how this all goes down. Even if I don’t show it or can’t say it anymore,” he said, managing not more than a whisper.

Kerry’s eyes fluttered open again, glistening slightly, glowing almost in the dimmed light. He looked away for a moment, then back at V.

“I know,” he said quietly, “And I’ll love you, no matter what comes next or what you decide. I’ll be there for you.”

“Yeah… I know.”

V let out a deep breath and at least a little bit of the tension that had taken a hold of his body again faded. Kerry’s thumb circled V’s hipbone absentmindedly.

“Well… what comes next?” he then asked after a short pause, “Wanna look around the house more later, or…”

“No, I wouldn’t know where anymore,” V said slowly, “I think all we can do now is wait for Mr. B’s call, I guess. See if he keeps his promise.”

“I swear, if the guy tries to play you, or comes around the corner with even more demands…” Kerry grumbled, “I’ll guarantee for nothin’ anymore.”

“Love it when you’re getting’ all protective of me,” V chuckled, but Kerry remained serious.

“I mean it,” he said, “I dunno, but… just let me know what he does and what he wants. Let me be a part of it this time.”

V hesitated, but he also had to remind himself that Kerry was a sly dog with many connections. He was not to be underestimated, not your typical plastic idol that was more a product than a human being, that needed constant protection… at least not from others.

All of a sudden, he realized that that could be a reason weighing a lot heavier than the convenience of only having to manipulate V, not Kerry as well, by driving a wedge between them. Mr. B had continued to tell him to not let Kerry in on any details of their plans, every step of the way, even after V had repeatedly reassured him that he would not, that he never talked about sensitive client matters with outsiders, especially not while they were still in the planning phase. He had mistaken Mr. B’s requests as simple mistrust at first, then as a reminder to not to mess or disobey him and his people or face according consequences. The good old “if you don’t do this, something might happen to your loved ones” approach.

But maybe… Mr. B had actually been scared that Kerry would smell bullshit, had V let him in on all of this earlier. Kerry wasn’t dying, he wasn’t at anyone’s mercy. And he’d lived in NC long enough, played in the city’s games many times over, and recognized their patterns. V had grown up and lived in the corporate world as well but… It was always hardest to see the whole web – or the spider – when you were caught up in the middle of it. Just how Kerry hadn’t realized that Kovachek had been playing him, while V smelled the media circus from 10 miles away, V hadn’t seen through Mr. B’s schemes this clearly until he was given Kerry’s uninvolved outsider’s perspective. Only slowly he began to see the full extent of his manipulation now, and he might never have if it wasn’t for Kerry... The true irony though was that, if he was correct in his assumptions, Mr. B had played himself now by excluding Kerry from the equation so consistently. The one question remained though… was this only about getting V to do their bidding, was he really that good of an asset to them? Or was there even more to their agenda that warranted all the scheming?

“V, you okay?” Kerry asked, and V realized his thoughts had been trailing off for quite a while, “Hope Johnny’s not back now, too.”

“No, no I’m good,” V said, moving closer to give Kerry a quick kiss, “Better than I’ve been in a while.”

“Well damn, I should start marketing shower sex as the newest miracle cure…”

V laughed, flinched in pain again briefly, but continued to smile at Kerry fondly.

“I guess sometimes I just need my brains fucked out to see clearly again,” he joked.

“Good, good, write that in the pitch!” Kerry egged him on.

“Can’t see clearly anymore at your stressful corporate job? Try to… get fucked!” V said in his best commercial voice and they both burst into laughter. Their voices echoed from the gallery and filled the walls of the penthouse with desperately needed joy.

Sure, in the end, there were no such things as miracle cures. At least not without strings attached or coming at a high price. V was only too aware. And sure, once his and Kerry’s high wore off, and reality came crashing down again, things would probably start looking a lot grimmer again. But in this moment at least, V did not dread what was to come as much anymore, knowing there was no way in hell Kerry would allow him to go through it all alone again.

(aösdfjdaösfasdf thanks for reading here all the way! I don't normally write smut and was hella nervous about posting this at all, I hope this wasn't too awkward xD but I also wanna continue sharing this story, as long as at least one of you wants to continue reading it! and some fluff and happiness was necessary after 4 chapters of angst so far. also would love to hear feedback and thoughts in regard to where you think things might go on from here, cause I have stuff planned (that might all become obsolete depending on the ending Phantom Liberty adds but oh well!! for now The Sun is my canon at least XD))

>> Next Chapter

also, a little bonus for everyone who's made it this far:

This is a random corpo NPC I came across in AMM some time ago - his hair isn't exactly how I picture it, but yeah - that's what Lee looks like in my head, just fyi XD maybe I'll mod a proper appearance for him some time (picture him with the same hair color, but Rachel Casich's hairstyle instead XD and dressed a bit more fancy than this)

Poor Kerry is not amused xD so yeh, if you ever come across him somewhere in Night City, he's probably on some shady errand for Kerry and Vince again, tsk tsk xD

[calliedion-dungeon]

𖤓Sore Kisses

Chapter 13. These Vultures

Read on ao3 here

Warnings: MDNI +18 [I fucking mean it] Smoking, Heavy Drinking, Fluff and Angst Swearing, Crossdressing, Adult Content, Eventual Smut, Blonde Mary Goore!! Everyone is a Little Shit in here, later it gets all Soft and Smutty, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Trope, Slow Burn Romance

Summary: After a failed date, you find yourself free to see Mary after weeks without being able to be together, thanks to your new life after the move. A day in this new routine is suffocating, but the sky opens a little to give you a little light, although not in the way you want.

I'll post this one full length since it's nothing but SFW

A couple of weeks have passed after your move, you have been so busy that you have not even had time to feel bad about it with total freedom, you just go from one place to another, from school to work and from work only to sleep at home and repeat. There are times when it seems like Mary only exists on your phone, at least it's not like talking to a bot, they always keep you up to date with the nonsense that Nick and Frank do, their late night thoughts keep you awake when you have a school project to work on. You both always talk about how one day they’ll keep you company until dawn, but you never actually ask them to come, you’re sure you will do anything except do homework with Mary on your side, or so you assume.

You were behind on some deadlines, but you bought time to hand in your work, you were waiting for a colleague who was supposed to help you with some photographs, you needed someone with narrow shoulders and long hair, you have a very specific idea of what you want the scene to be like; after waiting half an hour in the lobby of your school, you call her non-stop to find out where the hell is she, internally praying that she hasn't forgotten about the appointment. After a few calls that she didn't answer, she sends you messages that she is incapacitated due to a hernia on the back, you can't get mad at her for that, it's out of her control, but you still curse your bad luck and resolve to go back home.

Along the way home you smoke two or more cigarettes, bought yourself a drink, frustrated at not being able to make progress on your tasks, you had even asked for a week's vacation at work to be able to do it, for all to come to nothing, you snort as you approach your door looking at the phone, Mary has sent a text in response to your morning message, an eggplant emoji and a lips emoji next to it, classic, especially when your text was “What did you dream about?”

Many times, when you have a little moment to think, you feel kind of bad for having pressured yourself into doing something physical with Mary. Only because you knew you wouldn't have time later, once you left. But you can't keep punishing yourself for something so superfluous, especially when they still show you that they think about you in the most depraved ways you can't imagine.

In a brief message, you tell Mary your annoyance about what happened with your colleague. For what they answer you.

"Does that mean you can come tonight?" they write back.

"Sure, where to?" you respond while eating something and regret smoking that much.

"To the gig??" the text hits you like a train.

You didn't even have time to feel bad for not remembering, of course, the good side of every bad thing, at least now you have the night free to see them, finally. Your heart jumps out of your chest when it finally dawns on you, the path to the bar is blurry in your memory, because you can't wait.

It took a lot of obstacles and time to get to the bar. You couldn't take the subway because it was too late, taking a vehicle made you quite afraid, you were too far away to be able to call someone to give you a ride; you’re sure that something higher must have been taking care of you because you cannot explain how you arrived at the bar safe and sound, nor why you did not bring something with you to defend yourself, even so, it is always better not to have to use them in mind and just exist with ease, so, even if you have to crawl, you’re determined to be there until it’s over.

As you pass through the people of the crowded place, you stop looking for another familiar face other than theirs, suddenly, someone lifts you into the air, you hit enraged whoever dared to take you like a sack of potatoes over their shoulder; it wasn't for long that you recognized the shirt on the back of the person who carried you. When they put you down and you see that it was indeed Mary, you give them a fake slap while you laugh, they were already ready for that and quickly grab your thighs to pick you up again, you gladly jump and wrap your legs on their waist and your arms around their neck.

“Hi-” you tried to say, touching noses, but their lips interrupted your greeting. You're glad to know that not only you were starving for kissing them, their mouth attacked you sloppily, most likely they also tasted what you ate for breakfast by how deep their tongue got, they were being rough but not as in hurtful, as if he had forgotten how to do it more comfortably, Mary seemed too desperate to care.

You giggled when they go lower to your neck, you’re aware that no one was watching the two of you, although not for long because they soon push you against a wall, pressing with his hip, trying to get as close to you as possible.

“Not here-” you hide your face in their shoulder, coyly trying to remember that you’re not alone in the bar.

Without saying anything yet, Mary slowly lowers you from their arms, not without taking advantage of groping every inch of your legs, without letting go of their neck, you hug them sweetly, fondling your fingers on the back of their head.

“I’ve missed you too, beautiful” It feels like you haven't seen each other in months, maybe longer.

"Oh no..." Only then do you begin to notice his beer breath and his damp hair and shirt “Am I late?”

"Just a little, we're done playing, but we were planning to stay here a little longer."

"Mary, I'm sorry, I didn't realize the time, I came as fast as I could, apart from having forgotten..." you regret out loud.

"It doesn't matter, you're here, now." They hold your face, joining your foreheads, then they guide you by taking your hand to where the others are, already deep into their drinks, there was only the bandmates and their friends, Frank wasn’t there.

Thanks to what they had already been drinking, everyone was much more expressive than usual, even the people who didn't know you celebrated your arrival when Mary shouted out to everybody, you saw Nick too busy counting Cami’s molars with his tongue in a stool far from the table and the sight made you laugh, you were way behind them in terms of intoxication, although, the atmosphere is already pretty hazy.

It was definitely a surprise how Mary was so cheerful as you see them stretching out their arm to take a picture of you two, just when you notice and get closer to hug them tighter, they get distracted by a hand that takes theirs, you two turn around, the strange hand does not let go, it caresses Mary’s arm, you both look at a girl who smiles at Mary, said smile fades when she looks at you holding their arm.

"I'm sorry, are you a couple?" asks the girl as she hesitantly lets go off their hand.

"Something like that" you answer very confused.

"Yeah" Mary drawls, it takes them a while to react and they turn to look at you.

"I mean, yeah?" you try to rectify.

"No?" Mary inquires looking at you confused also.

“Let me know when you’re done riding that, then” says the girl at you when she leaves giving you a side eye. Your face contorted at those words.

Despite being sober enough to not be as expressive in how you feel, you couldn't hide your face and your reaction from Mary. They hold your chin, trying to get your attention, but you turn your face away, not sure why you feel humiliated.

The bar was too noisy to be able to think, much less express yourself as you wanted and you can't do it if you don't think first, you give Mary a hand sign that you'll be back in a moment and then head to the bathrooms of the bar, that long hallway in which the two of you had your first kiss, you almost managed to open the door when they pulled on your arm, asking you what was wrong, unfortunately, no words come out of your mouth.

“You know I don’t care about labels.” They whisper, hinting what you got in mind.

“Me neither, but it’s easier to choose one than having to explain”

“We don’t have to explain shit to anyone, we know what’s up, that matters most.” They hold your arms soothing with their fingers along.

“…I guess” your voice came out hoarse, not letting you say more.

“What’s wrong? You having doubts?” you shake your head vehemently “Hey, if somebody asks, we can just say we’re together. Isn’t it enough?”

“Yeah, sorry, I must be tired. I just didn’t like what that woman said…”

“What did she say? I didn’t hear”

“To tell her when I’m done with you, like… as if I’m the one in shift or something like that”

“Why does it bother you? We don’t have to prove anything to anyone…”

“I know that, damnit! it’s just…” You sound upset.

“Just…?”

“It only reminded me that we haven’t even…” you only sighed as if could be understood by that what you mean “And we haven’t because we barely see each other, I know it’s stupid, but if I keep thinking about that… and I don’t want to ruin the night talking about it”

“Hey, listen, nobody is gonna steal me from you, and vultures are everywhere. Don’t let it get under your skin, sweetheart.” They start giving you little kisses on your face, trying to make you smile. “I mean… we could just go, ya know?” they waggle their eyebrows a couple of times.

“Where?” you ask already getting nervous, making your frustration evaporate in seconds.

“Not my place, Frank’s there, snoring like a bear. Is Jenn back?” Mary smirks at you with impure intentions.

“They were supposed to come back today, but very late” you remember with a curious smile.

“So… what do you say? You think we got time?” they stick to your body, searching for your neck with their teeth.

“I don’t know, aren’t you drunk?” You say unsure, because they’re not making that grimace with his mouth that indicates that they’re getting lost.

“Nuh-uh!” Says in a dramatic tone and laughs afterwards.

“Liar, I don’t believe you.” You tease as you drag each other outside the bar without saying goodbye to the others.

…

During the way there was a small struggle between the two of you in the car because they were trying to put their hands in your pants, the idea of the driver seeing you and taking you out of the car made you too nervous. From a distance it might have looked like they were drunk, it was just that Mary was extra playful tonight, tickling you, kissing your neck in the elevator, "picking" a lint off your blouse or "shaking the dust off your pants” and straight up pinching your butt. You made sure to smile, so that the very few people who saw you, wouldn't think badly that this young metalhead with face paint wasn't bothering you and ruin the night.

Mary wouldn't even let you open the door, because their desperation was such that they pushed you against it to kiss you passionately, and honestly, the closer you were to entering the more you stopped caring, it was almost a mistake to turn around while they were still stuck at your neck like a fly sucking, barely without getting your hair out of the way, they were just already grunting softly, giving you goosebumps, with his arms wrapped around your waist pushing you from behind as you turn the key to the apartment to enter.

“Hey guys! Watcha doin’?” Jenn asks cheerfully from the living room, as soon as you get inside the apartment.

“Jenn! Thank goodness you came back, everything alright? How-how was your thing?” you say in a booming voice, barely stopping yourself from screaming, Mary at least you have the decency to halt.

“You mean work? Meh… boring” says your roommate as they eat a bowl of cereal and watching tv.

“Yeah, night shifts suck, am I right?” says Mary awkwardly hiding their crotch behind you.

“Don’t even get me started, I’ll just devour this and go to bed. You staying the night?” Jenn asks regarding Mary.

“Uh… yeah, you know just… sleep” says Mary in a very fake tone, trying to appear sane “Talk about, uh… the geopolitics during the cold war, ouch!” You elbow them on the ribs.

“If it’s ok with you, I know I didn’t tell you in advance, I thought you were staying late at work” you explain a little calmer.

“Alright, just a reminder that I am a very light sleeper.” You can tell Jenn’s comment has several layers to it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll put on some duct tape on her… Ow!” Mary was about to laugh at their own joke until you interrupted with another violent nudge and push them towards your room before they kept talking.

“You crazy kids, goodnight then” Jenn, comprehensive as always, doesn’t meddle much.

“Why don’t you ever shut up?” you tell them as you close the door of your room which is separated from Jenn's room by the kitchen and the living room.

“Why don’t you fucking make me?” says in a flirtatious tone, pulling the hem of your blouse up. In response, you grab them by the chin squeezing their cheeks and kiss them forcefully.

They were moaning because of your bites on their lower lip, you could feel the vibrations of their voice, you guide them towards your bed to sit without removing your lips from them, you tenderly take them by the thighs, they quickly take off your blouse and their shirt. Without giving you a break, they lower their head a little to pull the straps of your bra with their teeth, playing with them a little, both of you giggling. Suddenly you hear them wanting to burp but doesn't, a second later it seems like they’re having trouble breathing, you grab their cheeks, raising their head to ask him if they’re okay, you couldn't do it for a long time because they run off to kneel in your trash can and start vomiting.

“You did lie to me, you’re drunk.” You kneel next to them to brush their hair out of their face.

“I’m sorry, beautiful, I thought I was better than I felt.” They say not facing you yet.

“It’s alright, but don’t ever do that again. Let me help you get up” They didn't really require your help, but either way you wanted to get them cleaned up and forget what happened as quickly as possible, you couldn't help but grumble a little, which they noticed right away, making them feel guilty.

They lament while you accompany them to the bathroom so they can use your mouthwash, they manage to capture your melancholic look in the mirror over the sink while you wipe their face from the paints, shortly after, you get out of there to change your clothes into light pajamas.

“I just wanted to be with you so bad…” Mary whines as they get out of the bathroom, now only wearing their briefs.

“I don’t want it if it’s like this.” You get closer, resting your hands on their shoulders.

“Sorry…” They keep saying. At least Mary lets you guide them to the bed so they can sleep with you, funny enough, you ended up doing what Jenn was told.

“It’s fine, you big moron.” Your voice sounds calmer and happier, you get them to snuggle up with you, carefully you cover them with the blanket.

“Can I get just one little kiss?” Mary says pouting, a face you can't resist, you peck a kiss on their lips, wary that it doesn’t lead to anything else.

In the end you can't say that you're upset, just a little snubbed, but it's not wasted time being with them, the mere fact of being there together is something that at the beginning of the day you didn't have planned, so spending any time with them, especially the entire night is enough to be grateful; you hug their head against your chest and give them a few kisses on the forehead until they slowly fall asleep as they hug tightly your torso.

[fixfoxnox]

I'm in LOVE with your Jackson and Gaz stories idk how to articulate how much I'm obsessed

I'm in love with writing Jackson/Gaz its my favorite thing ever. Please accept:

Shovel Talk - Jackson/Gaz, Price

Jackson peered at his phone again, looking at the number of the conference room he was supposed to be looking for. He thought it was a little odd that Gaz wanted to see him in a conference room of all places, but he wasn't going to question his boyfriend. Not when there was a tempting emoji of an eggplant and water droplets that had followed minutes after his first message.

He continued down the hallways of the unfamiliar base, stopping once he'd finally found the room number that he'd been sent. He tucked his phone into his pocket, taking a moment to straighten out his clothes and try to slick down his hair. He gave a puff of his breath in his hand, smelling it and giving a small satisfied nod at the knowledge that the mint he'd put in his mouth ten minutes earlier had done its job.

With that all checked out and a growing feeling of excitement in his veins, he reached forward, pressing into the conference room. "Sorry, I'm late Gaz, I had trouble finding the," he stopped in his tracks.

Sitting at the table, papers spread out in front of him, was one Captain John Price. Gaz's Captain. Roach's Captain. The man they both looked up to. The man who looked after them like they were his children.

He looked up at Jackson carefully, giving him a short, manufactured smile and motioning to the seat across from him, "Sergeant Jackson. Please take a seat."

"Captain Price," Jackson responded, trying to keep his voice steady, "Sorry, I must have the wrong room! I was looking for-"

"Gaz?" Price questioned with a tilt of his head. "No, you have the right room." He motioned to the chair again and, after a few moments, when Jackson didn't move he gave a stern, "Sit." The word was bitten out between clenched teeth that were pressed into a false smile. Jackson's body moved on instinct, his mind screaming danger.

He moved to the chair, sitting in it carefully, watching Price for a moment. Finally, he worked up the courage to say, "Uh, sir, I really should go, Gaz is expecting-"

"Gaz isn't expecting you." Price tilted his head down, "I had Laswell send that text to you from Gaz's number. He doesn't even know a text was sent."

Jackson felt himself freeze. This was not good. Not in the slightest. "Why," he cleared his throat, his words having gone high pitched, "why would you do that sir?"

"So that I could finally get a chance to speak with you," Price leaned forward slightly, "You've been avoiding me quite well."

Jackson winced, his heart ratcheting up in speed. It was true, he'd been avoiding Price like the plague. Why? Because the man was terrifying.

"Now," Price leaned back in his seat, picking up a file from the table and opening it, "Why don't we get started."

Jackson squinted at the man, his eyes barely able to make out the words written on that Manila folder, "Is that my file?"

"Yes," Price didn't look up, "I wanted to see exactly who you are. Your records seem good." Jackson shifted in his seat, growing more uncomfortable by the second, "The only issue I can see in your past is that it seems you've already held a relationship with one of my Sergeants." Price dropped the folder to the table, "Why did your relationship with Sergeant Sanderson end?"

Jackson leaned forward quickly, "Sir you should know that Roach and I-"

Price cut him off with a raised hand, "I don't care. What I care about, is that you're dating my Sergeant." Jackson swallowed hard, shrinking into his seat at the piercing glare that Price sent his way. "Sergeant Garrick is an adult, he can decide who he dates. However, this is my base and he is my Sergeant. So we're going to establish some ground rules, alright?"

"Sir-"

"It isn't your turn to speak, Sergeant Jackson." Jackson snapped his mouth closed, nodding rapidly as he shrunk into his seat. "Good. Here are the rules. You can do whatever you want when you are off base with Gaz, but in this base there is to be no groping, grabbing, or extensive kissing. Pecks on the cheek or mouth and hand holding is the extent of what I want to see. Nod if you understand."

Jackson nodded rapidly, trying to keep his breathing steady as Price continued to give him a harsh glare. "Good, I'm glad you seem to follow instructions. Both on and off base I expect to see you treating my Sergeant how he deserves to be treated. I expect him to feel like the center of your universe. Nod." Jackson nodded. "If I see tears or hear cries, they should not be because of you. Nod." Jackson did as he was told.

Price tilted forward then, his hands slipping against the pile of papers in front of him as he stood from the table, "If I find out that any of these rules have been broken. If I find out that my Sergeant has been hurt in any way," in a flash he pulled a knife from the stack of papers, twirling it in his fingers, "It will not be pleasant for you. Nod." Jackson pushed himself as far back into his chair as he could, nodding his head rapidly as he watched Price twirl the knife in his hands. "Now then, it's your turn to speak." Jackson opened his mouth, but he was cut off, "You get three words and two of them should be "I agree." For your own sake."

"But-"

"Thats one word. Two more Sergeant."

Jackson stared at him with wide eyes before giving a hesitant nod, "I agree."

"Very good," Price stabbed the knife into the table before plopping back down into his seat with a more genuine grin. "You're free to go now Sergeant. I look forward to getting to know you better over the course of your relationship with Gaz." Jackson blinked at him, watching frozen for several moments as the man picked up one of the several pieces of paper in front of him and started looking it over. After a moment, Price looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, "Leave."

The words sent Jackson scrambling from his seat and rushing out of the room, trying hard not to let his heat beat out of his chest as he collapsed against the wall outside of the conference room. He stood there for several moments, trying to work out in his mind if what just happened was real or not.

"Paul?" Jackson turned, his wide eyes meeting the adorably confused eyes of Gaz. "What are you doing here?"

Jackson took a deep breath before giving him a small smile, "I came to see you! Maybe take you to lunch? Got a little lost though."

"Oh!" A smile lit up Gaz's face. He came forward several steps to press a kiss to Jackson's cheek, "That sounds amazing. Let me just drop these papers off to Price, then we can go, yeah?"

Jackson nodded, trying not to show too much fear on his face as Gaz opened the door to the conference room and practically bounded over to Price, "Got those papers for you Captain. Gonna take a bit of a break, Jackson's here. He's taking me to lunch."

"Oh," Price turned to watch him in the doorway, a smile on his face, "How nice. You two have fun."

"We will!" Gaz responded with a grin. He started toward Jackson, his back turned from Price. This meant that he missed the way that Price lifted his finger and ran it across his neck, mimicking slashing a throat. Meant for Jackson's eyes only. "Babe?" Gaz asked curiously, "You're a little pale, everything okay?"

"Yup," Jackson responded, his voice high as he brought his attention from Price to Gaz, "perfectly fine. Just a little hungry."

"Well," Gaz wrapped his arm in his and started pulling him from the room, "lets go then, I'm starving!"

Jackson let himself be pulled along by his boyfriend, his mind flooded with continued fear as Price's threats rang in his mind. He let out a shakey breath as he and Gaz stepped from the building. He didn't know a lot, but there was one thing he did:

Captain John Price was one terrifying man.

[esmealux]

Grocery shopping.

Takes place in my roommates au.

“Lucifer, would you please get the- Lucifer,” Chloe hisses through her teeth. One second he’d been walking beside her, complaining about how terribly tedious grocery shopping is, and now he’s standing by the vegetables, studying an eggplant and a zucchini, probably comparing which one best resembles a penis.

She sends him a stern glare.

He ignores her. “Detective, which one do you think looks the most like a-”

“Neither,” she answers before he can finish the sentence. “Will you please come here and help me with the rest? We’ve been here for half an hour already.”

He gives the vegetables one last glance before he puts them down and half-runs to join her by her side again. “Eager to get home, are we?” He smirks, his face so close to hers she can smell his cologne.

Warmth spreads in her cheeks at the reminder of how close they’d been to… whatever would have happened if she hadn’t noticed the time and realised they only had three hours before their friends would be coming for dinner.

“We’re having guests in less than two hours,” she reminds him.

“We can still cancel, you know,” he tells her, not for the first time. And not for the first time, Chloe is tempted. When they’d planned this dinner, they didn’t know that they’d be… that it’d be only a few days after Lucifer had told her- shown her the truth, and everything changed between them. They didn’t know that there’d be nothing they’d want more than to spend the night alone with each other, just the two of them and this new, exciting thing between them, but-

“We can’t,” she tells him. “We planned this months ago. And besides, the cart is already half-full with ingredients for lasagna for six people and a baby.”

“I’ll make six lasagnas for you,” he offers. “And we can just tell them you’re sick.”

Chloe glances at him as she pushes the cart. “I thought you didn’t lie.”

“Well, you could just tell them you’re sick.” He smiles at her, that annoying, teasing, frustratingly irresistible smile that made it hard to get out of the house in the first place. “And then we can eat six lasagnas and drink that Barolo you like.” 

Chloe purses her lips around a smile. Butterflies flutter in her stomach.

“Look, it’s not because I don’t want to,” she assures him, stopping up to face him properly. “Because I really, really do.” 

A bright, yet soft smile pulls at Lucifer’s lips. His eyes twinkle with wonder.

“But we can’t bail on our friends just because we’re…” Chloe stops. She doesn’t know what they are, exactly. They’re roommates, and they’re definitely friends—best friends, now more than ever—and even though they haven’t talked about it, she knows they’re also something more. She can feel it. She just can’t put a name on it. Not right now, at least. In the middle of a grocery store.

Lucifer looks at her with big brown eyes, holding his breath.

“Just because you’d like to have me all to yourself,” she finishes with a coy smile.

He grins. “I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual, Detective.”

It is, Chloe thinks as she lets her gaze glide over him, over his face and his smile and the shirt that might have been discarded on their floor by now if they hadn’t invited their friends to dinner.

It really is.

“Excuse me,” someone says behind them. Chloe takes her eyes off Lucifer and makes room for the stranger to pass by.

“Should we…” she gestures to the still half-full cart, suddenly brought back to reality.

Lucifer blinks, and gives a put upon huff. "Yes, I suppose. If you're going to be stubborn about it."

They continue through the store, Chloe picking up things from their list and Lucifer pushing the cart, complaining about her cheap taste and picking out everything but things from the list. Exactly like it’s always been. 

Except that as Chloe’s reaching check-out and Lucifer rejoins her after having been off to God knows where to find something they don’t need at all—she lets their fingers touch and grabs his hand.

Not because he’s wandering off like a bored child or to stop him from buying something ridiculous or expensive, or ridiculously expensive.

But because she wants to.

He looks down at their hands immediately. Then he looks up at her, an unbearably soft look of surprise on his face. 

Chloe smiles at him.

A breathless chuckle slips past his lips, disbelief and happiness all in one. 

Almost carefully, as if trying it out, he strokes his thumb across one of her fingers and stands a little straighter. 

Chloe bites her lip around another smile, warmth settling in her belly. It’s a little silly, feeling so giddy over holding hands in a grocery store, like a teenage girl with a crush, but she can’t help it. 

She has a pretty huge crush on Lucifer, after all.

And from the smile he gives her, both now and when she grabs his hand again later under the table during dinner—the kind of smile she feels in her chest, pulling warm and tight at her heart—

She thinks he has a pretty huge crush on her, too.

[invinciblelikeu]

random dream facts that are ingrained in my head:

dream would’ve been a psychology major if he went to college

he had a collapsed lung

he doesn’t like coffee and chocolate, hates caffeine in general but drinks tea

he loves bubble baths, bath bombs, and candles

he sometimes puts tanning drops in his moisturizer

he loves banana pudding but only if his grandma makes it

he had a bet with his grandma that he would never drink (he lost)

dream was a massive bookworm - he used to read every single day

instead of going to school, dream would fall asleep in the garden

he had a roblox girlfriend

his first kiss was at the nickelodeon resort hot tub

he dyed his hair purple once

he painted his nails and walked around his neighborhood for a date/bet

movies dream has cried to: marley and me, everything everywhere all at once

he almost cried when he almost didn’t get to see spiderman no way home in theaters

he once cut his older sister’s hair as a prank

the most complex dish he’s ever made is eggplant parmesan

he wrote percy jackson self insert

he loves avocado on everything except sushi

he would eat olives straight out of the jar as a snack

he witnessed a fight at a denny’s

he loves broccoli on pizza

dream used to finish whole episodes of shows while working out

he wanted a quail coop at the dream team house

he was originally going to name patches "muffin"

he almost adopted patches' shelter sister

he once ran a red light with drista in the car, causing another driver to yell at him - to which he responded with a thumbs up, and made up for it by getting drista chick fil a

dream used to do contracting summer jobs in high school

he once got mustard on his clothes on a day he was supposed to work, and cleaned it off with sprite

his childhood home had a library

he watched anime’s that are recommended by his brother

he paid off his grandparents’ mortgage

he has a breathalyzer to use on his friends to make sure they’re sober enough to leave the house

he once cooked pancakes shirtless

he and george took the harry potter quiz together and he got slytherin

he prefers country taylor swift

his first album was of the jonas brothers

his mom caught him dancing to selena gomez’s naturally while he was cleaning his room

as a toddler, his dad would bounce him on his lap when they would watch OU games together

he once got a teacher fired because she pushed him off his chair

at one point in his childhood, his favorite color was pink

secrets is one of his all time favorite songs

he used to have bbh on call when he would go on long drives to keep himself from falling asleep

one time dream was speeding so much that bbh yelled at him on the phone

he once told ant and velvet that he thought they were gonna get married one day

he accidentally liked an ig post of a guy who was interested in alyssa

back in 2021, whenever sapnap would go skating, dream would tell him, “see ya later boy”

night changes is dream’s favorite one direction song

dream likes granny smith apples

dream used to collect yugioh cards

when his cat before patches passed, he immediately drove home from work and dropped to the floor by the door crying

that same cat once startled him enough to fall onto the lake while he was on a skype call with his friends

he has seen every single spiderman movie in theaters

his first real gf was his bff at the time and when she broke up with him, he cried under his bed - and kept it a secret from his parents

dream’s parents used to tease him about DNF

he ate cat poop as a toddler

he once had a whole frog in his mouth, and his mom didn’t believe it when his father told her until he took a picture

throwback to when i–

he has “george is gay” engraved on his ipad

he used to use a windows pc for gaming/streaming, and an imac for editing

dream uses film cut pro to edit his main channel videos, but uses adobe premiere to edit his dreamxd videos

the first person he told his youtube plans to was drista at a walmart parking lot

he used to send different publications his novels/manuscripts

he used to make football and skating edits and posted them on youtube

he once immediately cut ties with an online friend after they ddosed sapnap

dream and sapnap once had a falling out and stopped talking for 4 months

he once sharescreened himself editing manhunt in a discord call with corpse, techno, sykkuno, etc

dream was supposed to fly george out to america in early 2020

dream and sapnap almost met up 3 times prior to january 2021 )

dream and george used to be on call when george would go walk his dog

it was dreams idea to be the dsmp villain bc no one else wanted to be

dream would describe his writing style to be plot-driven

his favorite color is forest green but recently it’s been baby blue

he uses exfoliator and tree hut sugar scrubs

dream used to lift weights for more than an hour straight

he was going to get his ear pierced earlier than when he actually did it, but drista convinced him not to

he wants to get a 123 tattoo with sapnap

he used to be so reluctant to consume anime media that sapnap has tried and failed to convince him to read manga

he and george used to watch game of thrones together when it was still airing

he and bad watched prison break together

his favorite merch was the white hoodie with smileys all over

he donates a lot to the oklahoma sooners community

he has homeless kits in his car

he once paid off a cc’s gofundme to save their cat

he sent 5 dream fanartists free drawing pads

dream’s cosmetics in his makeup bag that we currently know of: blue garnier micellar water, charlotte tilbury blush, lip oil

he almost died in quicksand while geocaching

dream’s favorite planet is neptune

dream identifies himself as poseidon, sapnap as ares, and george as hera

dream types on his phone with only one hand

dream watches good mythical morning every day

dream once said “sorry i don’t speak australian” to a local in australia because he didn’t understand his accent

prior to the face reveal, dream has kept the fact that he was dream to several of his relatives

his cover when asked what his job was: advertising

he thought he failed his drivers license test after he accidentally knocked a stop sign - and begged his instructor to let him pass

he once injured his big toe after a football incident and almost refused to wear a cast until the doctors told him his big toe would grow to be smaller than the rest of his toes

dream has a porta potty under his bed

dream once got demoted from skeppy’s server

the longest dream has gone without showering was one week

dream was gifted a guitar when he was young and it was hung up on his bedroom wall but never got to play it

his love language is acts of service

he used to want a white picket fence marriage

he can find hidden minecraft chests using just the sounds

he helped sam build the dsmp prison by collecting a lot of the blackstone and obsidian

his mom accidentally got him and drista to drink alcohol as kids

his ring size is one size smaller than sapnap’s

his shoe size is 13.5-14

he was prescribed vitamin d pills after some of his hair had fell off

his favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla

he had to get carried as he was forced to ride a rollercoaster

he made duct tape wallets and sold them at school

he used to have a guitar hung on his wall but never used it since it was a gift

he once hacked all the computers in his school’s computer lab

[sabineelectricheart]

Blunder at the Farmers' Market

Summary: The moms send Jamie and Baxter to the market for some groceries. She gets distracted and makes a rather humiliating mistake.

Rating: K+ - Suitable for more mature childen, 9 years and older, with minor action violence without serious injury. May contain mild coarse language. Should not contain any adult themes.

Words: 2200

Notes: I’m changing my mind on Baxter. I’m kind of looking forward for his DLC, though I got some spoilers and I didn’t like what I’ve heard. Oh, well...

It was a nice, Saturday morning. Just perfect for a stroll at the farmer’s market, which the moms made sure to send out their youngest daughter to run that errand for them.

Luckily for Jamie, who hates driving, one of their neighbours also had half a mind to go out for some grocery shopping just as she was leaving. Not Cove, though, who was out in Nevada helping out his mother, Baxter was the one in need of some restocking to his fridge. He told her that he was glad to drive her if she was so kind to point him on the right direction and tell him the better stands over there.

Instead of the usual “divide and conquer”, they preferred to walk together, tackling neighbouring vendors at the time, with one ordering them for both households, electing to run the tally when they get home, for convenience. The young man had a small cart in which they could ferry their purchases without too much effort, and, should they elect to pack them separately, they might not fit too comfortably on the inconveniently-sleek car of his.

Jamie shifted her weight between her feet, as she starts to grow tired from walking, while she waits for the honey seller to finish packing up the jars she ordered. She twirled a pen on her fingers, she used it to mark down the price and volume of each purchase, making sure she both does not forget anything nor ends up short when settling with her neighbour.

After a few minutes, the middle-aged woman hands her the paper bag with a commercial smile.

“Will you and your husband be needing anything else?” The attendant asks, helpfully.

Husband. The word stops her heart and her movements. That was one big assumption to make about an admittedly-precocious nineteen-year-old and her twenty-one-year-old companion, but one not entirely unwelcome or unwarranted.

They had been involved over his time at Sunset Bird, and it would be fair to say that the thought of Baxter adorning such a title, as her husband or even something more casual, such a boyfriend or a date, has been in her mind as of late. It has been a while since she figured out that she had a bit of a preference towards him, a very strong preference, though the words have never been spoken out loud until now. A shame neither of them were the one to do it.

It was certainly something she could get used to.

“This should be it, thank you.” The girl responded.

Gripping the pen in her hand tighter, with a smile she could not suppress even if she tried her hardest, she returns to writing down the last of the items she was supposed to be ordering for her neighbour, as he remains busy talking with another merchant. They are mostly done, and could probably sit down for an early lunch as soon as he was done haggling the price of eggplants with the old man running the stall.

A sense of boredom takes over her mind. She leans on the small cart, filled to the brim with bags and boxes, and begins to doodle on the tiny notebook on her hands.

Soon, she finds herself signing a name. Jamie Ward. It has a sound to it.

Her heart flutters and her whole chest blossoms with warmth as she writes her name followed by a surname that did not belong to her. She stares at the letters on her own cursive and finds it quite fetching.

How perfect his name looks with hers. Someday, would that really be her name?

Oh, well, this is not something she really ought to be concerned with as of right now. Eggplants should take precedence on her mind. That, however, is a most boring topic, so she turns the page on her notebook and starts doodling once again.

Some three minutes or so later, Baxter finishes his conversation with the vendor and walks back to where his neighbour waited for him.

“Hey. Sorry for taking so long.” He greeted, cheery.

“Don’t worry. I’m glad you get such low prices on everything. I get to keep the change, you know?” She smiled in return. It was then she realises he was still empty-handed. “Where are the eggplants?”

“Ah, I got 75% off them, but only if I took the ones they thought they wouldn’t be able to sell. They got to pick them up from the truck, so it’s going to take a few more minutes.” He explains, rather sheepish, embarrassing for having a lady wait for him on the sun. “Can I have a piece of paper, please? To write down the order.”

“Sure.” She turned a page on the notebook, ripped it off and handed it to him.

“Sorry again for taking so long. Would you like to go ahead to the car? I can give you the key.” He offers.

The girl shakes her head. “No, no, it’s no problem for me. I’m just going to stand here for a little while longer, people-watching and doodling. Don’t worry.”

“OK, then. I shouldn’t take too much longer.” He said and walked off, back to the stand.

With Baxter still preoccupied with his discount eggplants, she decides to have a look around the neighbouring stands. A few storefronts down, a couple of local New Age communes were selling their products. It is filled with jewellery, crystals, books and other odds and ends, as well as a few cookie recipes that lacked flour, milk, eggs and just about anything that she would consider necessary to define something as such.

Jamie smiled. That is the fun about the farmer’s market, you never know what you are going to find. With the odd list of items her neighbour asked for, it is no wonder that they had to come here, even if it was a good few ways out Sunset Bird. She chalked up to his privileged upbringing.

As the young woman walks around and checks the merchandise at the stands, the little cart pulled behind her, she ends up hanging around her paramour as he impatiently waits for his produce. His conversation with the vendor had long ended and, as she stands closer, his arm snakes around her shoulders.

He pulls her closer and kisses the top of her head. “Are you too tired, Jamie?”

The sound of his voice, the small smile on his face that he often wears when speaking to her, pulls her in like a moth to a flame. She lets her hand lay on the other side of his hip, enjoying the soft heat he radiates warming the tips of her fingers. She is unable to not get lost in his eyes when they stare at her so softly and lovingly.

How Jamie become so lucky to receive such devoted, gentle love, she will never know, but she would always accept it for as long as Baxter was willing to give it to her.

She smiled bashfully. “Well, I wouldn’t say no to some lunch.”

“It shouldn’t take much longer now. Where would you like to eat?”

“Ah, nothing too heavy nor too hot. The sun is making me dizzy.” She complained lightly.

He smirked at her. “You really should’ve taken Liz’s hat when she offered it to you.”

The young woman made a grimace. “It’s too big! I’d look ridiculous on it.”

“Well, have some water if you feel sick, alright?” He offered, slightly concerned about her health. “Did you see anything…?”

His words are cut off by the merchant that helped him before. “Mrs. Ward? Here you are.”

Her arm is barely touching his, but even through such little contact, she can feel him stiffen the moment both of them hear the name listed on the order.

The older man carried a paper bag with a note stapled on the flap, written on the notebook sheet she had given Baxter a few minutes prior. On it, on a bold blue ink, was her practice signature.

Jamie Ward

A moment of silence falls between them as they try to wrap their heads around the situation. Embarrassment fill both of them.

“Ah, yes.” He tears his attention away from her and reaches for the paper bag the vendor has handed him. “Thank you.”

The vendor looks at them concernedly, likely predicting another round of haggling from the cost-conscious young man. “Does everything look okay with your order?”

The question goes unanswered for quite a while and she swears that the only noise in the whole market is the erratic beating of her heart as she watches her date’s porcelain skin burn red and brighter than the shirt on her back, from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. He seems so shocked he cannot even find it in himself to try to cover his blushing cheeks like he normally would and her own cheeks are not any better.

Should Jamie just run away in embarrassment and hope he does not question her about it later? She would not be able to carry all the produce on the bus back to Sunset Bird, but she does not think her neighbour would just keep them, likely handing them over to her mothers. What if he is not okay with this? They have not discussed how it is going to be between them after the summer, lest of all something so big like marriage. What if he is not ready and she has seriously overstepped some boundaries? Well, overstep she absolutely did. The question now is by how much.

The longer Baxter stays silent, his ember eyes glued to the paper in his hands, the worse her anxieties grow.

Well, maybe Jamie should just take it lighter. It might be just her brain talking over her heart that is making her worried, all for naught. There is no doubt of his love and devotion in her heart or his own and, even though he is not saying anything at this moment, the beating heart in his chest is screaming in excitement, even if his face expressed clear surprise, not that she can really blame him. He had not excepted it and it can naturally send him through a whirlwind of emotions that are very hard to comprehend. She should just wait until he could express them to her privately and own up to her little mistake.

She is right that there is a whirlwind of emotion going through his heart, though not those that she expected. He has known for a long time that he wanted her to be his forever and that he would be quite happy to pursue whatever this is to its logical conclusions, whatever those may be. He is beyond grateful for the patience she has shown him until this point, with his flirty and flighty behaviour and skittish demeanour.

However, it does not mean that the idea was in any way pleasant to him. He appreciated being together, being “couple-y”, but he understands that this is not to last. He is selfish and he wants to take as much as he can get, but when Labour Day comes, he will leave California and forget all about these people, no matter how he feels about them.

If he was a good person, he would avoid them at all costs, behave like the ghost he hopes to be, but he is not good. He is bad, and so he pretends he means to stay, that he intends to be true to his feelings and his promises. Seeing Jamie believe in him makes it more real to him, it reminds him of what he is doing, and it hurts.

Even if it took him a while to open up, he feels that, ever since their dance at the country club so many years ago, his heart has always belonged to her, everything that was Baxter Ward was hers. Seeing his surname signed on her adorably round handwrit like it belonged to her only makes him think he has been foolish to think that he could just disappear from her life and leave nothing behind. If he wanted to have just a casual summer fling, he should really have picked someone else.

The air around them is almost uncomfortably hot, both of their blushes burning brightly on their skin. Jamie needed to break the tension before they both combust in a flame of awkwardness but, the moment she perks up to speak his name and ask him if he is alright, he clears his throat and finally answers the merchant.

“Yes, everything seems to be in order. Thank you.” The young man responds, an easy smile on his face.

His voice had that charming lilt as it normally had, even though his cheeks are still tinted a lovely shade of red and his lips are tugged into a usually unseen sincere smile. His free hand finds hers, long fingers slipping between the spaces of her own and squeezing tenderly.

“Come on, Mrs. Ward. Let’s grab some lunch.” He says, teasingly.

She rises to the occasion. “Lead the way, darling.”

Jamie and Baxter leave the market hand in hand.

*_*_*_*_*

Our Life Masterlist

[iamfruitie]

Anti and Mad sexting to Mare and Dark?

“How does sending an eggplant and a peach mean anything?” Mad asked, sitting on the bed with Anti as they both held their phones. They were leaning against the headboard and each other, both wearing some comfy clothes since it was late in the evening. They were texting Mare and Dark since they were out on a late job, and Dnti had suggested getting the two worked up so it’d be a fun ride home for them. 

“It’s supposed to be a dick and an ass.” Anti explained, pressing ‘send’ on Mad’s phone before doing the same to his own. Anti sent a combination of a tongue emoji, water droplets emoji, and an eggplant emoji. Mad had no idea what that was supposed to mean either, but saw it appear in the group chat the four of them had that they were sending the messages to.

“I still don’t see it.” Mad shrugged. “But how would sending that work them up?” 

“It’s only the beginning. Gotta start a little silly before getting into the good stuff.” Anti started typing up some more and sending it.

“‘I hope you two come here soon.” Mad read the message out loud. “You spelled ‘come’ wrong.”

“No, I didn’t.” 

“But you have a ‘u’ in it and forget the ‘e’.” 

“Mad, honey, I did that on purpose.” 

“How would they cum-oh!” Mad finally got it. 

“Let’s try something different for you,” Anti suggested, getting off the bed and grabbing one of Dark’s thin, white button-ups. “Take your clothes off” 

“Why?” Mad started taking his shirt off anyways, used to random instructions from Anti. 

“Because you’re going to send a fun little picture to Mare and Dark that’ll make them regret leaving us behind.” Anti had slipped into the bathroom and got the shirt wet so it would be see-through. He came back in after wringing out as much water as possible, he made sure to use warm water so it wasn’t too uncomfortable for Mad. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to do the picture? You’re a lot better at looking…sexy than I am.” Mad was now naked on the bed, waiting for further direction. 

“Now, you know that’s not true.” Anti sat the shirt on the bedside table before heading to Mad. He had planned on working Mad up a little for the picture anyway, so he didn’t mind using it as an excuse to get Mad to have some more confidence. “You are just as tempting as me, hell, you can be even more desirable than me without even thinking.” Anti placed his hands on Mad’s thighs and gave them a little squeeze, grinning when that and the words got a little whimper from Mad. “There’s a reason Mare and Dark are so weak for you.” His hands slid to Mad’s inner thighs and squeezed again. “I struggle to keep my hands off of you as well~” Anti started kissing Mad’s neck, hearing how Mad was already breathing heavily from this alone, and a glance down showed how he was already getting harder and harder. 

Perfect.

“A-Anti~” Mad squeaked when Anti gently ran his hand up and down the side of his cock a few times before finally pulling away when he was fully hard. “Anti.” That came out as a whine. 

“Let’s get the picture, and then I’ll give you all of the attention while we wait~” 

“Okay.” Mad agreed but had a bit of a pout. 

“Keep that pout.” Anti winked and grabbed the wet shirt, putting it on Mad and kissing him on the forehead. He stepped back and grinned when he saw that it was just how he thought it would be. The shirt pressed against Mad’s skin and would show the parts that touched the fabric. “We’ll have you kneel on the bed, jut your hips out a bit and hold one hand up towards your mouth while you put the other between your knees.”

“Um…” Mad made some noises as he moved, getting into position as Anti said. “Like this.” 

“God, you look delicious~” Anti praised, seeing that got more red to appear on Mad’s cheeks. “Stay just like that.” He took Mad’s phone, snapped a picture of him, and sent it to the chat. “And now, to play while we wait~” Anti giggled and set both of their phones aside to let Mare and Dark struggle for those last few minutes while he dove back on the bed and gave Mad that promised attention. 

[skylarmoon71]

Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)- Chapter 10

“You’re a big boy Leo.”

He groans at the words, placing his hand against the wall in the shower.

Everything is engraved in his mind.

He couldn’t believe that had actually happened last night. The following morning he’d stayed until you woke up. When you did he’d basically fumbled out of the room. You’d give him a kiss and send him a beautiful smile.

Leo groans again, this time leaning his head on the wall. You hand him right under your thumb and it was driving him crazy.

“I need to talk to her tonight. We need to set boundaries. No intimate activities until I at least take her on a date. “

That was the plan he’d already decided.

~~

“I got an A on the quiz, no surprise there. He always gives us a pop quiz on the first Thursday of every month. You would think people would prepare for it better.”

Peter is going on about some test, but you’re barely paying much attention. Lunches were spent on the bleachers chatting about world events and sneaky tests. You want to pay attention, but your thoughts are otherwise occupied. The image of Leo pops up.

“I like it when you touch me (Y/N).”

Your cheeks flush at the little daydream. If he’d ever said something like that it would probably break you.

“Peter, have you ever had sex?”

He spits out his juice comically, beating his chest aggressively as he coughs. You feel bad now for almost making him choke. When his airway is finally cleared, he looks at you stunned.

“W-Why would you ask that!!” D-Did Mary Jane say something to you!”

You shake your head. Now that the door is open, you have to explain. You lower your head, playing with the crease of your dress.

“I..I wanted to..I just..” The words weren’t coming out. His shocked expression softens into understanding.

“You’re asking because you’ve been thinking about it.” You nod a bit bashfully.

“I really want to, I think he does too but I don’t have any experience so it might be awkward.”

Peter laughs, scratching his head.

“You really caught me off guard. I didn’t see that coming.” You’re still fidgeting and Peter does his best to ease your nerves.

“I can’t speak for you or this mystery boyfriend, but if you both care about each other, then it doesn’t matter if it’s awkward. It’s your first time. It’s supposed to be messy.” His words give you a bit of ease.

“Just make sure you both agree that it is what you want. He may be afraid to tell you if he’s scared or nervous and the same applies for you. Consent should be present on both sides. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Peter looks a bit more relaxed.

“Now that we got that out of the way, we’re going to get you some condoms after school.”

“Condoms?”

Peter laughs at your confusion.

“Yes, protection. Remember the thing that ensures that you’re safe. As awkward as it is talking about this with you, you’re like my sister. I want you to be safe.”

His words are touching. You inch closer, reaching out and hugging him and Peter pats your back with a grin.

“It’s crazy that I was intimidated by you the first time we met. You’re so cute.” He rubs your head playfully, and you smile.

~After school~

As you browse through the section of condoms, Peter is behind you trying not to appear awkward but failing miserably.

The size you pick up surprises Peter.

“What the- how big is he!”

Your cheeks glow.

“You know what nevermind I don’t want to know!” He starts grabbing up two boxes, and he takes the one in your hand.

“I’m buying all of these for you. If this guy thinks he’s gonna run around with his huge eggplant and get you pregnant he’s mistaken!”

He drops the boxes at the cash register.

“We’ll take them all!”

The cashier turns to you.

“Blink if you’re in danger.” She says casually.

“It’s not for me!!”

He defends.

Yep, that’s some big brother energy alright. 

[awtistic-assassin]

A Day Before The World Ended

A day before the world ended,

I woke up as the first rays of the surreal sun hit the grieving glass of my windows.

When I sipped on my morning tea, I let a few drops spill over my knuckles to my elbows.

A day before the world ended,

I took a wistful walk down the lanes of the neighborhood I never explored before,

And bought a pack of Boomer bubblegum from the guileless grocery store.

A day before the world ended,

I strolled through streets surging with sycophants and alleys adorned with anarchists,

Reached the temple swarming with salvation seekers, and took a detour towards the cathedral.

A day before the world ended,

I positioned myself into one of the pensive pews and sat praying pondering,

And picked apart all my philosophies till my perspectives and postulates lost all meaning.

A day before the world ended,

I stalked a stray kitten till it reached the nearest dumpster and picked it off the ground.

We walked through racuous roads while there was nothing but chaos and confusion abound.

A day before the world ended,

I stepped foot on the flyover and caressed the rusted rail with no desire to jump off,

And let the pandemonium of the pandemic of panic conceal my calloused, cold coughs.

A day before the world ended,

I called up my first crush and told him that he was right and I was wrong.

I did end up falling in love again because I was supposed to fall in love with life itself all along.

A day before the world ended,

I wrote earnest, elegic emails to my family and friends and ended up sending only half of them.

I finally texted all my friends that I loved them, and ended each text with a "sorry once again".

A day before the world ended,

I finally completed the book I had left half-read back in seventh grade,

And cuddled with the cat I had picked off the street as the sun's final rays started to fade.

A day before the world ended,

I cooked eggplant for dinner because I didn't need to fear waking up with rashes the next day.

I put on a show from my extensive watchlist and went to sleep, finally not wishing to waste away.

[originalchibimonkey]

So, in recent weeks I've been FLOODED by bots who have been following my blog, sending me messages, and otherwise disturbing my simple existence as a shitposter. As I'm doing a minecraft and blocking them all, I've noticed that a lot of them have emojis and single word statements, which I shall now overanalyze and rate because I have homework I'm procrastinating on. Please forgive any spelling/grammar issues, English is my first language and I suck at it.

We start off strong with this blog, who right away let's you know what it's about with the eggplant and corn emoji. It's direct and simple, and combined with the gasping monkey and word "Hottie" really sells the whole 'adult bot blog' vibe. The one thing that throws me off here is the "20", Turkey emoji, and "Algeria". Is the turkey suppose convey a similar meaning as the eggplant and corn emoji? If so, wouldn't the chicken emoji be more effective? Furthermore, I sense the 20 is suppose to suggest the age here, but paired with the imagery of the turkey seems to suggest there are 20 Turkey running this blog, all of whom seem to be from the country of "Algeria". If this is indeed the case, then the eggplant and corn emojis lose their adult meaning and instead suggests that this is a blog dedicated to farming. The gasping monkey could be read as us, the viewers, being shocked by Algeria's agriculture as well as being attracted to it due to its economical value, hence the word 'hottie'. Unfortunately, this reading cannot be proven, as there is no pictures on this blog other than an image of a young woman for the profile, which was likely stolen from somebody's tinder. Overall, I give this a 6/10, as I feel like the usage of the vegetable imagery and term 'hottie' was straightforward, and it made me interested in Algerian agricultural.

This next one also has a turkey in it, which I feel has some sort of meaning that I'm missing because I am an idiot. So the major issue I have here is with the emoji choices. The smirking face next the word 'babe' is pretty good—I feel like it has a nice suggestive flair to it—but I'm confused about the mushroom. What is it suppose to relay here? Perhaps that this bot is a 'fungi' to know? Perhaps it is suppose to remind the viewer of the popular 'cottagecore' aesthetic? If we're going with the cottagecore aesthetic, I think it pairs nicely with the flowers, but with the turkey, I think whatever AI generated this should have gone with something like a dove or a toad, just to match the garden/feminine vibe that I often see with cottagecore. Utah is a rather 'meh' location, not incredibly exciting or exotic, but kinda simple and easy place to take it. In my opinion, it's a rather safe location to choose, because people from Utah often act like they are robots, so any awkward interaction with this blog can be dismissed as a real Utahian learning to communicate with other people. I don't know what the x between the flowers mean—perhaps it is suppose to be a mouth and the two flowers are the eyes? Perhaps the delicate pink petals contrasted with the hot pink of the background is suppose to imply some sort of suggestive imagery and the x is suppose to remind us of "X-rated" material? Idk. 5/10 for this one, the babe and smirking face go together, but I feel like the rest fall short of catching the attention of the viewer.

Okay, so I love the philosophical question this one poses. For as long as humans have existed, we have asked ourselves this question and have yet to come up with a solid answer. The fire and smirking face really portrays humanity's fiery determination and confidence to solve this riddle, although I will admit the repeated face of the smirking devils indicates a mischievous element to this problem. Perhaps those devils represent how the universe toys with us, dangling the answer to this question just out of our reach and laughing as we argue amongst ourselves. Perhaps they are suppose to represent the evils in this world that divide us, making us think one option is better than the other and turning us against each other. Again, the philosophical element of this bio is fantastic. I do not like the usage of the panda, tulip, or term 'billards'—they distract too much from the thesis. I think it would be better if the panda was replaced with a peach (reminding us of the rear we all fear yet desire) and the tulip being cherries (representing both the body part and the sweetness of victory as we finally solve this problem). I think Billards could be replaced with "Ponder this", as it strengthens the question. Thus, 9/10, Socrates would love this shit.

My biggest issue immediately with this is the location. Francisco is not in Idaho and the usage of the entire Earth just highlights the AI's incapability to accurately determine where the city is. Usage of emojis is completely random: blind monkey with coffee: perhaps a nod to the way society turns a blind eye to the price we pay for our consumption of goods? Thar could explain the earth, which is suffering because of our capitalistic ways. The yellow heart with Idaho implies some sort of love for the state, but since the bot obviously doesn't know what cities are in Idaho, I find the combination to be rather meaningless. Mushroom again, completely out of place here and, because of its location next to Franciso, makes me think of illegal substances, which only serves to further my dislike of this set up 3/10, poorly executed.

The last one and this one is confusing for me. First, we have the sentence "Fishing really bad babe". Now this makes me think of two things: 1 this bot is self aware how poorly it is catfishing humans and is making fun of itself, which explains the tongue sticking out in a playful manner. If the hands emoji are interpreted as a high five, this furthers the joke, as the bot is like "yeah I suck, high five bro!" 2: this is a message from a Marine Biologist to their romantic partner, sadly explaining that they are having poor luck at fishing. If the hands are seen to be clasped in prayer, it indicates that biologist desires for divine help in his activity. The fire and the smirking devil do well in strengthening the word 'bad' and pairs well with the black heart (which can be read as the biologist's darkening emotions as he continues to fail his task), but the orange just seems out of place here. Perhaps it is meant to represent both the bot and the biologist's desired fruit of their labor? I don't know really what to make of this line up, but I do feel like there is potential in it 6/10

Now if you excuse me, I have to continue procrastinating on the work I was suppose to do thirty minutes ago.