#wanted to sketch something because i loved the pearls so much

[pinkbucks]

Even! More! Pearls!

+ I think a pearl belt would be a good look, too!

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

things that the sketch rebecca just posted on tiktok, involving rose & bismuth, mean for pearlrose shippers:

if people didn’t believe rose was sapphic before, they should know now. this will (hopefully) be the end of that argument we often have to have with folks who claim rose was straight. so tired of those jokes that are along the lines of “lol pearl fell in love with the only straight gem” like please stop

gem love !! gem relationships !! are not like human relationships !! pearl has no bitterness towards bismuth, in fact, it’s very much the opposite. things like polyamory and open relationships are not labelled, but everyone loves each other and there’s not even a hint of a love triangle. they all explored what love means and how to express it on earth, and pearl was comfortable with her place in rose’s life for thousands of years

this says a lot about pearl’s feelings toward greg. people see this as jealousy because “rose chose greg over pearl.” she uses that term as a gem because rose’s death is very confusing to her and it appears as if rose chose greg because she died having a child with him when pearl believed she would live with rose on earth forever. she doesn’t understand that rose’s death has nothing to do with who she loved more—the reasons behind rose’s death involve a lack of love for herself and her love for steven/the earth. and it takes awhile for pearl to process this. i think she would rather believe that the reasons behind rose’s death involve rose loving someone else more. she doesn’t want to come to terms with the fact that rose didn’t want to live and thought everyone would be better off without her. the thought of rose loving someone more hurts pearl, but the thought of rose not loving herself hurts pearl more. this tells us that pearl was not “controlling” or “possessive” or “needy” as her haters in the fandom say she is. hopefully people can understand why she feels the way she does—everything that happened between rose, pearl, and greg is SO much more complicated than “love triangle.” it’s about death and the differences of human relationships clashing with gem relationships and wondering why certain things happened

this rosemuth kiss can mean anything. i personally think it was something rose only recently learned, as it happened during the war, and she wanted to show bismuth some affection when she was stressed about something. it’s up to you to interpret it how you want, and in this case, there really are no right or wrong answers since the sketch never became part of the show & there’s no further canonical explanation

that being said, prepare for some exhaustion on some other platforms. you know how some people still think pearl + rose is unrequited ?? or that rose never loved pearl as much as pearl loved her, and they completely misinterpret what pearl’s love for rose means? despite all the canon evidence and confirmation that pearlrose was not unrequited?? pearlrose haters might use this sketch as “proof that they didn’t have a relationship” or “proof that rose didn’t care about pearl” and honestly, we’re so tired of this, aren’t we? at least this is a space where we think similar things about pearlrose, and the sketch really doesn’t prove anything other than poly rosemuth + bispearl would be very cute, it reinforces that rose was sapphic, & it proves that pearl’s dynamic with greg is more about bitterness related to grief rather than possessiveness or pettiness. again, gem relationships are different from human relationships, and they simply just love each other and don’t label things. there’s no “cheating” or “fumbling,” just issues such as communication or personal struggles impacting relationships. and those are exactly the issues that pearlrose dealt with. it was never because of any lack of love for each other or loving someone else more.

[theminecraftbee]

fic masterpost

last updated: august 2024

note that this masterpost does not include tumblr-exclusive fics, because i write those as effectively "sketches"; they're practice and meant to be easy for me, so i deliberately don't 'take them seriously' enough to list them here. (also, there are probably over a hundred at this point.) you can find the tumblr exclusive fics in the tag 'a bee fic' if you're looking for them.

additionally: for ANY of my fics, you can always DM me to ask me to give you spoilers if the tags and summary do not give you enough information to decide if you want to read the fic or if the fic might contain one of your triggers. just let me know in a way i can respond privately, and i will give you that information!

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multichapter fics

this is about a stuffed bird, hermitcraft, T (warning: a bordeline M), 78k. in which an apocalypse happens that turns much of humanity into horrible monsters, mumbo gets a distressing call from grian and decides to travel across the country to meet him. still my most popular hermitcraft fic and my second-most popular fic overall. heavy on body horror, themes of what makes someone a person, and also evil x is here. i still love the mumbo voice in this, and it even has a complete podfic by quackingfish if you prefer audiobooks.

the continued adventures of the boatem road trip, hermitcraft, T, 28k. a series of events that take place as boatem is trapped in the void together for three months after big moon. originally written as a series of vaguely-connected oneshots on tumblr, gathered here into one place. the ending is a little abrupt, but if you're looking for something with the highest concentration of some of my favorite jokes i've made sitting right next to some good old cosmic horror, this is the fic for you.

the last days of the free angel of carrows, hermitcraft, T, 79k. the angel joe hills and the zombie cleo, owners of the atsign agency, investigate a strange mystery brought to them by pearl, and must save their city as they go. a noir-inspired urban fantasy i originally wrote for a big bang, and still my longest fic! it's got some of my favorite worldbuilding i've done, a great joe-and-cleo plot, a pearl i'm still obsessed with, and so much angel symbolism. if you like aus or urban fantasies, this is the one of my fics you should read.

solving counting sheep, evo, T, 78k. blade-three, living weapon of the watchers, is stolen by martyn after martyn finds its command words and taken home to jimmy to try to rehabilitate. what neither the property police or three itself know is that three is the ultimate fate of grian, their friend who they presumed dead. a fic that is very VERY much about identity and learning who you are, and also plays into many of my favorite living weapon and watcher!grian tropes--as well as subverts them in some heavy ways. probably one of the most personal fics i've ever written, as well. my understanding is that both people who like watcher!grian and people who hate it like this fic, which i take as praise.

the carriers, life series, M, 40k. PET mail (the group made up of Pearl, Etho, and Tango) are mail carriers after the zombie apocalypse, as well as asymptomatic carriers of the zombie virus. when cleo, a person from pearl's past, asks them to bring her a package, they go on a journey that barrels through all three of their pasts. this one is rated M for two specific reasons (both violence) but if you're chill with violence this one turned out pretty well! it is a very me take on a zombie apocalypse, what with the fact that the remnants of heavy industry are almost as much of a threat as the zombies, and a fic that leans pretty heavily on the double life soulmate pairs.

san luis, dream smp, T, 23k, perpetually unfinished. after the other three members of sbi die, philza tries to put back together the pieces. it would be easier if he wasn't hearing their ghosts. this is a fic i'm unfortunately unlikely to finish because it just makes me too sad to write after irl events, but it has some of my best handling of grief, and i know it brings some people comfort. if you don't mind me at my most unrelentingly sad, or are looking for that, i might still recommend it.

in deference to saint george, original superhero work, T, 42k. superhero superball, aka jack harlan, starts dating a customer he meets at the coffee shop he works at, while at the same time dealing with the attacks of the villain dragon and natural disasters. a hero/villain fic with a very ME kind of ending, i am still SUPER PROUD of this. i think the worldbuilding and characters work and it's my proof to myself i can write ow! also, if you've always wanted to read a superhero au from me, good news: this may not be an au, but it's very much exactly that.

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long oneshots

consequentialism, hermitcraft, M, 5k. as the members of boatem start falling in the boatem hole, their own dead bodies start showing up. peak "WOULD THAT BE FUCKED UP OR WHAT" horror from me, and also the first hermitcraft fic i ever wrote! if you like my horror writing and aren't too squeamish, good news: this exists.

to convey a certain brilliance, hermitcraft, T, 21k. joe hills and zombiecleo slowly, and through many death loops, drag their way out of their collapsed base to try to survive after a lunar apocalypse. this is the second hermitcraft fic i ever wrote and i wrote it before we knew how moon's big would end, inspired by super hostile; people still tell me it has some of their favorite joe characterization.

cura te ipsum, hermitcraft, T, 15k. tango, in a world where the hermatrix is canon, wakes up on-board the hermethius after dying to the moon and has to try to figure out how to cope. still one of my favorite oneshots i've written, full-stop, and the culmination of all my big moon emotions. it can be considered fully canon-compliant, and it's mostly about all the big emotions something like big moon would cause.

jevin's egg disaster, hermitcraft, G, 7k. the eggs from the season nine egg hunt turn into real children. chaos ensues. this is technically sorted into chapters, and written as a series of very short ficlets on tumblr originally. it doesn't really "conclude" as a result. however this is me on pure crackfic and contains my favorite joke i've ever made (it's in chapter 7 if you're wondering) so PLEASE read it if all the rest of my 'everyone talks about their big feelings' is causing you to need a laugh because it WILL make you laugh.

attempt thirty-three, hermitcraft, T, 14k. joe hills experiences the thirty-third loop of the time loop he's been stuck in, trying to save the world from the rift. a fic exploring the idea of "what happens in that middle part of the time loop when you've been there a while, but don't have things solved yet?" if you like joe hills and you also like hurt/comfort, this is very much a fic with both of those things, and some of my best with both of those things.

a thing that is thicker than starlight, hermitcraft, T, 13k. after reuniting on an adventure through space, long-lost siblings cleo and gem return home and try to figure out where they're supposed to fit into each other's lives. written for recursive exchange and based on "out to the galaxy steady she goes" by thedepressedcanary, although this fic stands on its own. it's a vaguely treasure planet-like au, but it's also MOSTLY about the trauma your parents leave you and the feeling of knowing you're supposed to care about someone (but don't know how to yet). this is my sibling feelings fic, read it for sibling feelings.

the inner mechanism of a black box, dream smp, T, 14k. techno is trapped, isolated, in a horrible version of the prison with only his voices for company. still my most popular fic, and also the fic of mine that is most describable as 'whump'. i still really love the techno writing in this one; it may be the first complete thing i posted to the account but it's still good. written before we knew anything about the prison, and so the situation is entirely speculative; also written before 'techno in prison' really became a genre. you can tell both of these things, for both good and ill.

revenant, dream smp, M, 11k. jack manifold descends back into hell in order to drag tommy back up and out with him. written in a fugue state during the like, three days tommy was still dead. jack manifold is way cooler than he deserves in this fic (he is also EXACTLY as cool as he deserves). to be honest i don't remember why i rated this one M, but not stuffed bird? if you can read stuffed bird you can almost certainly read this. has some of my cooler weird formatting decisions in it and a WAY COOLER VERSION OF HELL THAN THE DSMP GAVE US I'LL STAND BY THAT.

bad beat, dream smp, T, 10k. techno goes to play a high-stakes game of poker against quackity, hoping to win insurance for his friends' lives. do you like card games? i like card games. most of this fic is a thriller in which they are playing poker. both people who like and dislike poker like this fic, though, because the thriller elements still work. also, my one take on casino quackity, so if you like quackity, give it a shot.

a kind of playing heartstrings, empires smp, G, 6k. jimmy invites scott to a cod empire gathering. an older fic of mine that's a cute take on empires flower husbands with a LOT of music culture worldbuilding for the codlands! this is just a fic that makes me feel cozy and happy. it is uncomplicated fluff.

survivorship bias, empires smp, G, 9k. an amnesiac jimmy is fished out of the water and into a surviving village that exists a few decades after the rapture, but still a great deal of time before empires season two will happen. a combination of worldbuilding of that transition period and emotions about jimmy, who doesn't remember why he's sad but certainly feels it. i enjoyed meshing different empires cultures together for this a lot!

the perils of updating your vault hunters server before even the public release (seriously who qa checks this), vault hunters smp, G, 9k. in which a bug on the vault hunters server turns all of iskall's friends into cute small children and he has to get them out of a vault again. this one is just an excuse for me to write endless Cute Baby Shenanigans, and if Cute Baby Shenanigans sound like they're your kind of thing, give it a read!

it's a long way down if you want to get up again, yugioh dm, T, 12k. mokuba tries to puzzle out why his brother is acting so strangely; as it turns out, this is because kaiba has recently time traveled. a fic shoving DSoD kaiba into the earliest parts of yugioh. he is very bad as a time traveler, and he's not necessarily making things better, but they aren't necessarily worse. also, a fic with a lot of my feelings about mokuba and seto's relationship, as well as their relationship with gozaburo. the kaibas will always make me feel things.

on burdens, yugioh dm, T, 11k. kaiba realizes that jounouchi is both more complicated than he gave him credit for and probably being abused, which changes his perspective on him. violetshipping, but mostly pre-violetshipping. another fic where i write people playing a card game! it is also as much about kaiba having the world's worst emotional intelligence as it is about kaiba and jounouchi both having shitty dads.

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selected short oneshots

a question for the dead, life series, G, 1.2k. a script-format fic interviewing the dead players of last life. one of my favorite experiments with formatting of all time, line after line of character study with no wasted words. read it.

different sort of soulmates, life series, G, 926. an aromantic mumbo jumbo hears about double life after the fact, and talks through with grian his fears that he wouldn't have been capable of having a soulmate. cute grumbo friendship and also some feelings about feeling disconnected from the people around you. a personal favorite ficlet of mine.

the long odds, life series, G, 1.8k. martyn is invited to the table with the other writers to play a game. a very meta fic in which martyn plays blackjack with watchers and listeners. this fic is like 80% metafiction and allegory by weight, and i like it very much.

a murder, life series, G, 483. before limited life, jimmy and joel realize it's coming via a flock of birds on empires. a fic both with jimmy and joel's unique friendship and a meta twist on the whole canary thing.

task: answer the following question: do you believe in curses?, life series, G, 1.2k. the surviving members of secret life explain their thoughts on curses. a spiritual successor to 'a question for the dead' and another one of my absolute favorite experiments with formatting. another one with no wasted words that hinges on the character voice of it all.

home, life series, G, 887. cleo and etho have a conversation about their new relationship after secret life, given that cleo's aromantic. man, i love cletho so much, and i also really like the idea of aromantic cleo, so this is my ficlet with both of those things.

do you even lift, bro?, hermitcraft, G, 2.4k. boatem fluff about who can bench press the most members of boatem. this fic is still really cute tbh, not much else to say.

like father, hermitcraft, T, 2k. grumbot prime decides he has to protect grian the same way grian protected grumbot in another world. the horror of being trapped by something you can't escape in a box designed to stop you from hurting yourself; also, the horror of your mistakes coming to haunt you.

forgetful, hermitcraft, T, 977. an interaction between evil x and xisuma near the end of season eight. a ficlet exploring some of my feelings about how season eight evil x can very easily be read as abusive and not even xisuma ever seems to acknowledge that. also, the horror of admin powers in minecraft.

to spite your face, hermitcraft, T, 980. a ficlet where joe gets to be mad about how he was treated by hermitopia during the crossover. i just think i still have so many crossover feelings about joe hills on empires, that's all.

as what you make becomes you, hermitcraft, T, 3.2k. decked out consumes tango, as seen from three perspectives. technically three separate oneshots collected into one fic as one story, the idea of decked out 2 'eating' tango is one of my favorite horror concepts from season 9. this is my execution of it.

missed the shovel talk so this is the next best thing, hermitcraft, T, 941. the rest of the NHO throws a party for doc and then interrogates him about when he even got married to ren in the first place. a goofy, funny fic about the hermits hanging out and being friends. this one is mostly jokes, but i think they're very funny jokes.

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i also have a number of other 'shorter' oneshots that aren't included here for the sake of the length of the post. to find all of my fics, including those left out of this masterpost, check my ao3! and, as suggested above, browse the 'a bee fic' tag on tumblr to find a collection of everything i've written, including things i either haven't yet transferred to ao3 or will not transfer there.

i hope you enjoy my writing!

[annabelle-creart]

Dear Trollhunters, Wild Robot, Dragon Prince and Rescue Bots fans

I have this concept of multiverse in my head where all the characters of series, games and movies I have watched exist in different universes, completely separated but united my magic

One of the many characteristics of this multiverse is the fact that some characters share something named essence, this is what souls, sparks and spirits are made, and if someone of another universe has your same essence, is because they are variants

What is my point?

I’m a fan of the four series and movie I just told you, and based in both canon and headcanons, I truly believe Arrrgh, Rozz, Aaravos and Boulder are variants

And the rest is pure headcanons, analysis and shit like the ships across the multiverse I did time ago, so, read if you can or want and if not, oks

I will also talk about Heatwave, Sissi and Salvage’s variants

Also, is stupid to say that this includes spoilers for the ones who doesn’t know about the other media

Ok, so, I think with Rozz, Boulder and Arrrgh is pretty obvious, the three of them didn’t knew a single shit about life, stayed two days and ended up liking it, even getting friends and families out there, so, why Aaravos? The motherfucker who, because of the death of his daughter, made an entire sea with his tears and later got up to fuck the lives of the ones who made that possible, including all the beings who crossed on his way

Well, it’s actually because of that

Let’s remember Arrrg wasn’t always a pacifist, he was a gum gum before, Rozz first was made to be just a robotic maid with programed responses and (mostly headcanons because we never got any info of the bots back on Cybertron) Boulder lived on a society that constantly denigrated the classes depending on the job, Aaravos literrally said “fuck you” to the system and did whatever he wanted, for both love and revenge, Arrrgh, Rozz and Boulder did the same, Arrrgh leave the gum gums and befriended Blinky, Rozz adapted to became mother of Brightbill and Boulder leave behind their past on Cybertron to start a new life painting and gardening, the difference is that Aaravos committed murder and magic crimes while Arrrgh, Rozz and Boulder preferred to be good people :v

So, yes, I truly believe those four are variants and I love them that way so much, and Aaravos could learn a lot about those three, same for the rest from Aaravos, I want to believe Aaravos can still be good but he gave so much priority to his plan revenge that forgot that and now uses his good part to manipulate people

Wrath: you can’t be actually serious

Writer: OH I CAN! WATCH ME, DRAWER!

Drawer: gimme a sec…

(Reminder this was made in a rush with 0 references or sketch, only quick lineart)

Drawer: Done!

Writer: IT’S SO CUTEEEEEE!

They also made a grupal therapy to see if they could help Aaravos with his angry issues!

Even Aaravos was puzzled about looking at Arrrgh act so chilly and laugh about his own trauma as a gum gum general, not even Boulder knew what to say or what to do about it. Rozz could only share a listener shoulder

But hey! They shared a lot of funny tales! And they even discovered their respective partners were also variants!

Because yes, I believe Heatwave, Fink, Blinky and Avizandum are variants too

Researcher: but Avizandum is not Aaravos partner

Writer: not their normal partner, their hate partner! Aaravos was so dammed angry when he found out he’s friend with Avi in another universes! Like, play it please!

——

Aaravos: you can’t be serious!

Boulder: why not?

Aaravos: because we’re not even friends! He caged me in a magic pearl at the button of the sea I did myself!! He’s egotistical and believes he’s more than anyone else for the mere fact he’s a damn dragon!!

Arrrgh: …am

Rozz: Well! Not because we are variants our stories are the same, haha

Boulder: exactly! I’m sorry Avizandum did that, but Rozz is right, my Heatwave would never caged on a pearl… it sounds weird when I say it out loud

Aaravos: I know, right? It took me some centuries to get accomplished to the fact and say it out loud normally

Rozz: Fink had the chance to leave me at my luck but he didn’t… well, whatever, the point is, yes, he did bad things and hurt you but now he can’t, right?

Arrrgh: the best is to let go

Rozz: Exactly!

Aaravos: …hm, you’re right, he’s dead after all, is not like he can do much

Rozz: Exactly- wait, he’s dead?

—

Drawer: Rozz definitely didn’t expected that

—

So… yes, that’s mostly of what I can say about them, I just think they’re cool and I love them, I wanted Rozz, Boulder and Arrgh to be friend and Aaravos deserves to heal. I mean, a domestic robot, an alien transformer, a troll and a touchstar elf in the same room is all I wanted to see today(their dynamic remembers me a lot of those comics where Bill Cipher is sent to Gravity Falls to pay for his shit and heal his traumas)

And also

Aaravos with braids and flowers in his head because of those three is so 🌟 🌟 🌟

And then we have Heatwave fighting the flames Mandrake made because Fink won in poker while Blink is hidden behind the table in the other room :v

And I decided to use Mandrake from the movie Epic instead of Avizandum because I truly believe he and Aaravos are the drama queens of the club and definitely I think they would be good friends (and they both lost a child, so…)

And also because Avi is dead

…

Writer: guys-?

All: no

Writer: But-

Researcher: THEY AREN’T EVEN FROM THE SAME STUDIO, MANDRAKE IS FROM BLUE SKY AND AARAVOS IS FROM WONDERSTORM

Reader: you’re intrusive crack ships thoughts scare me sometimes

Writer: WELL, WHATEVER! THE POINT IS THAT THOSE FOUR ARE SO DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER AND THAT’S FUNNY

Like, can you imagine the hothead of Heatwave, Blinky who is such a nerd, Mandrake who is an edgy bitch and Fink the sassy fox?

I just can think of them like (featuring Avi’s ghost)

And then we have Sissi and Salvage talking and playing Five nights at Freddy’s with Brightbill, Zym, Toby, Jim, Dagda and Leola because the fuck, the little girl likes terror and the teens had passed through a lot to get scared easily-

[bigchumpus]

your pirate au is everything, I just discovered it and. my heartttt </3 /pos your art style is incredible too, the way you draw hair and your design for Pearl's wings are both just. woah. mind blown. gorgeous.

Just want to point out a few things I love!! :)

The quotes from the sketches page: "how do you reunite with someone you thought was dead" <- MY HEARTTTT "almost died" "wings are clipped"

That one instance [screenshot from this post below] of Grian's eyes being depicted as purple after he joins Scar's crew (and presumably whatever incident left him almost dead/"injured and unconscious"), as opposed to the brown they were as a kid? The strong implication that something (or someone? the watchers perhaps? I'm assuming it's something to do with the old crew that took them in as kids) were responsible for it.

"...one day things go awry"

And excuse me again for taking a screenshot [from this post], but the one image in which Grian's eyes are obscured by a bandage, complete with a watcher symbol and a glowing purple eye?? And Pearl's eyes being purple too? And they're both dressed in purple robes... just. insane /pos

The watchers are typically depicted as an oppressive force, and yet they both look happy. IDK. Something something juxtaposition, childhood innocence versus the purple symbolising something that's very widely regarded as cruel or even evil.

All this is to say I really really love it so far!!

and also... absolutely zero pressure at all! but would you perhaps be willing to share some crumbs on the story? :)

SEFJJRHPORDHJ Awww gee! You've made my day! :D Never thought people would really notice the little details

I'm not very good at detailing moth wings which is why I went for more of a starry feel, so I'm glad you like it 😆

And since you've asked so kindly, I could share some ideas rotating in my head,

When you're a kid, I don't think you realize as much the cruelty adults are capable of. Especially when they've been treating you kindly for the most part, and the progression to harsher conditions and punishments is slow. (Pearl would've been the first to notice.)

Grian and Pearl were already stealing to survive, having nothing but each other, so when the given the offer to be spared from their decimated town, and leave as a pirate, they took it. Grian would regret that a lot later :D

I've also been pondering over the idea that no one, including Grian, realized he was an avian, because he wasn't born with wings. So was taken from his nest by hunters who'd thought he'd been stolen (hybrids aren't always treated well, and sometimes hunted down in this au, though by the time they're adults that seems to change a bit), and then taken to an orphanage (which he'd run away from) when they couldn't afford to raise him for very long.

On the other hand, Pearl was born with her traits and would live in hiding with her parents for the first few years of her life, before it'd just be her mother and her, and then just Pearl as hunters had gotten to them.

So when the two met, Grian would often use the fact that they look similar to his advantage, like "Well I'm her brother, do I seem like a hybrid? Then neither is she!"

I think in return for certain protection, Pearl would've taught him some of the basics of the alphabet and reading,

And later when they're recruited to be raised as pirates, maybe Grian would be better at the magic stuff, whereas Pearl would be better at the fighting aspect. Idk I just like the thought that they'd cover each other's bases :D

And during the beginning of the period of time where they're separated, I think there would be mishaps where they expected the other to be there, the way it'd always been.

Something something, survivors guilt and Grian maybe not being as kind and trusting as he used to be, and never making promises. Still loyal although all his presence has ever achieved is death.

Something something, Pearl still clings to the feather he'd once given her, keeps searching because she knows he's alive - he has to be alive, still wonders about if she had just been stronger—

and maybe Pearl sees a bit of her old sun in Gem, and maybe Grian learns to trust in others and himself again with Scar.

Iwouldrambleabitmorebutwe'rekindofinapickleatthemoment-

[aclowntiny]

Hongjoong + Firsts

Continuing my firsts series 🥰 thanks @xlli3 for also requesting to see this! Don’t mind me giving (y/n) & joong my dream pet for the man of my dreams 🤕

First Date: The first time you officially go out, Hongjoong takes you to a paint night! He loves the idea of you guys receiving the same prompt, hearing the same instructions yet creating something different- to him, this date will more deeply capture some part of both of your essence. He already knows you, so dating is just to strengthen that! The theme is nature and sure enough, you create very different pieces, his an intricate design of plant life while you sketched an animal portrait.

First Time Holding Hands: You’re a few dates in when the late night chatting starts, both of you on your backs stargazing. The sky is like a broken string of pearls, light scattered, and the beauty has your voices quiet with awe even as you spill your innermost thoughts. Insecurity blankets you, though, itching beneath your skin harder than the blades of grass poking through holes of the quilt you laid on. Your quiet voice fails. “I- I don’t know if that makes sense…” Warmth flooded you as Hongjoong’s hand fell atop yours. He sat up, eyes fixing on yours, a soft smile upon his lips. “Of course I understand.”

First Kiss: It’s a little longer before your first kiss, definitely not because he doesn’t want to, but just so the moment is right. It’s early in the morning- a rare, sudden open time in Hongjoong’s schedule that has you getting ready at the crack of dawn. Literally. The two of you stand upon a bridge watching the sunrise, commenting of course on its beauty. “I love getting to see a new beginning like this with you,” you comment, “it feels right.” Something breaks in Hongjoong the moment you say that, drawing him in until your lips connect beneath the day’s first faint rays.

First ‘I Love You’: This was a moment you two would share in private, one that would be special if Hongjoong had anything to say about it. And he did, setting up a rooftop dinner complete with fairy lights just for you. Meal complete, he turns on a speaker, extends a hand. “May I have this dance?” You oblige him, smiling at the extra affection he’s been showing, whether it was the way his hand trailed down your arm at dinner or the way he held you tighter than usual as you swayed. Soon, though, you’re barely moving as he’s pouring his heart out to you, telling you that you’re his muse, his heart. “I love you.”

First Fight: “One day! One day is all I’m asking!” “You don’t think I would give it to you if I could?” All you wanted was for him to show a little spine, get one day off for you but it looked like yet again that wouldn’t be possible. “I don’t know, sometimes I wonder if you even try,” you shoot back, turning away from him. “You don’t think I-” Hongjoong sighs, the intense dark of his eyes subsiding. “Can you not tell how much I love you?” You were ready for him to yell, to keep going back and forth or leech more venom into his words, so the soft entreaty caught you off guard. “I just…” You sighed, too. That wasn’t fair. You knew he tried- seen it in the things he made you by hand and dates he’d set up carefully as arranging a stage. “Sometimes with it all it just feels like I’ll never be as important as your job. I let that take over.” His eyes fluttered shut, one final shudder of frustration draining from Hongjoong before he speaks again. “I know, love. I’ll try. I want to try for you, I do.”

First Anniversary: It seems like a romance novel come to life when you finally lay your eyes upon the surprise Hongjoong said he had for you. “Everyone tends to do rings,” he told you, “so I guess I wanted to do something different.” ‘Something different’ being custom-ordering a unique pair of necklaces for you each, similar but not identical, just like your unique souls. You held the chain with one hand, gently caressing the pendant with the other. It was obvious how much thought had gone into capturing your personality, something that spoke your name. “What do you think?” Hongjoong asks, glancing with a smile of uncertainty that surprised you. “Of course I love them!” You reply, all but rocket-launching into his arms, the pendant lightly striking the back of his jacket. “Happy six months,” his voice rang out in your ear as his hand wrapped around your back, pulling you close.

First Pet: “Are you sure that’s not dangerous?” Giggling, you shake your head. “Nope, he’s just a baby. Worst he can do is a nick if he bites.” “He bites?” “Only if we mess with him. Come on, you liked the idea before. Having cold feet?” Holding up the small young snake plaintively slithering along your hand where he wrapped himself, you watched Hongjoong’s apprehension melt into a smile. “No, not really. You look so cute with him. Got a name?” “Snape.” “Snape the snake?” “Yep.” Hongjoong just shakes his head, chuckling. “Alright, professor. Welcome home,” he bends down to speak to your new baby.

[separatist-apologist]

Never Not Mine

Summary: Elain Archeron has been betrothed to the seventh born son of Autumn for as long as she can remember. With her family's reputation in the balance, Elain is resigned to her fate.

That doesn't mean she has to like it…or that she has to make it easy for him.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3| Read on AO3

Elain knew she’d gotten Ayla into some trouble. For a month, her friend had been locked away in her family's chambers and when she returned, Elain noticed she winced every time she sat down. 

You’re making a mess of everything, she thought morosely when Ayla wouldn’t make eye contact with her at all. Arina had retreated back into the library, leaving Elain to return to her overrun garden. She’d begun sketching it out crudely in a journal, trying to map out where things would go so she wasn’t planting blind. 

Elain’s garden was the only place she felt true peace anymore. Spending time around Lucien was beginning to feel unbearable—something hot built in her throat if they were around each other too long, spilling into angry words that she couldn’t take back. Elain didn’t know why she couldn’t just be nicer or why the sight of him frustrated her the way it did.

Lucien had given her another gift just that morning—a pretty set of pearl combs she’d thanked him for before tossing them into a drawer that was increasingly becoming dedicated to the things he purchased for her. Lucien was trying, in his way. Everything he gave her was thoughtful and generous—Elain loved the simple elegance of pearls set into silver combs. 

They weren’t good for gardening, at any rate—that was what she told herself as she tied a scarf around her head and headed out, prepared for another long day of ripping out weeds until she couldn’t take the seeping cold. She wasn’t alone today. There, hanging around the gates, stood Tanwen.

“Come to help?” she asked, certain he wasn’t there for any particular reason. 

“Why not,” he replied, opening the iron for her before following just behind. “What do you need from me?”

“You could rip up that tree?” she suggested, pointing toward a sapling that was more weed than anything. “Or loosen up the soil with your magic?”

“Why not both?” he replied with a lopsided smile. For a while they worked in silence, digging up a pile of weeds they tossed in the center of the garden alongside all Elain’s ruined rocks. It was nice to have Tanwen there, if only to provide a little muscle when she didn’t want to exert herself so much. 

“So,” Tanwen began when the skies began to darken and a gloomy fog started to roll over the hillside from the cursed forest. “Have you seen Ayla?”

It took Elain a moment to absorb his words. “I see her, but I don’t speak to her. I think she’s angry with me.”

“Ah,” Tanwen said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I should take these to the stables, if you’ll…excuse me.”

Elain watched him go, hair blowing in a vicious wind. Was he asking because he’d been the one to carry her in, or because he wanted to hear more about her? Elain couldn’t be sure. It was wrong to meddle when she’d already been the cause of Ayla’s suffering and yet…

“Lucien,” Elain breathed later that night, greeting her husband sitting in a chair in the bedroom, book in hand. His eyes found her nails, caked with dirt and cracked again. Lucien’s mouth drew into a deep frown, though he said nothing.

Smart, she praised silently.

“Wife,” he replied, as if reminding her of exactly what she was to him. Elain knew they were on borrowed time—at some point she was going to have to get over herself and have sex with him. How long, she wondered? Another month, perhaps? Two? Lucien didn’t want her unwilling, but Elain couldn’t imagine a scenario in which she went to him gladly, either. 

“We never had a celebration,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed once she was done with her hands.

“Why would we?” he replied, turning the page of his book without looking at her.

“Why wouldn’t we? Everyone else gets one.”

Lucien glanced up. “You want to celebrate wedded bliss?” he questioned. 

Truthfully, no. It would require the two of them to be together all night, touching and dancing and smiling. Elain took a breath. “Yes, I want that. Will you ask your mother to organize it?”

Lucien stared long and hard, as if he could read her thoughts simply by willing it. Elain was careful to leave herself casual, though it did no good.

“What are you up to?”

“Nothing,” she replied, heart picking up speed. “I just…think it’s strange we haven’t.”

Lucien took a breath. “Does this mean I can expect you to crawl into bed with me that night?”

“I get in bed with you every night,” she snapped, immediately annoyed. Elain didn’t bother mentioning that they were getting a little too accustomed to sleeping beside each other. She’d woken in the middle of the night to find Lucien’s arm flung over her stomach as he drooled into a pillow. 

“You keep your night clothes on.”

They were in dangerous territory. “What are you demanding of me?”

Lucien ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I’m demanding nothing. You’re the one who wants to celebrate our marriage and I…” And he was simply a male. He wanted the right to touch her and perhaps considered this a good negotiation point. 

“Don’t host it, then,” Elain said, turning back to the bathroom as a means to escape him. She slammed the door behind her, back against the wood as she listened for his response.

“Cauldron boil me,” he mumbled, but Lucien did nothing else. Even after Elain took a long bath, hoping he might find some other way to amuse himself, but when she came out, hair freshly braided and mostly dried, Lucien was already in bed. He seemed asleep, back facing her as it rose and fell in a steady, fluid motion. He’d pulled his hair out of the strap he’d been wearing, allowing it to cascade over his shoulders and Elain considered, not for the first time, what it might be like to let him touch her. To be curtained with the waterfall of auburn hair, to feel the muscles of his back shift as he moved…

Touch him, a little voice whispered. Elain panicked, drawing her fingers into a fist before sliding them under her body to keep her from doing so. What was wrong with her? The urge had come from nowhere, the instinct to run her finger down the length of his spine so overwhelming that Elain’s hands shook from the effort it took not to touch him.

It was his closeness, she decided as she settled into bed. His male presence and her instinctual response. Nothing more. Still, it took Elain a long time to sleep as a familiar vision crowded behind her vision.

Go away, she demanded. She didn’t want another image of Lucien’s naked form writhing atop her as her mind forced her to contend with what might be if she just gave in. He didn’t want her and Elain would be damned if she made the first move. Or second…or hundredth, actually. She woke a little before him, dressed herself, and made her way down to breakfast before Lucien could speak to her at all.

So she was surprised when the Lady of Autumn came to her, face beaming with joy. “I heard you wanted a celebration,” she said in that sweet voice of hers. The voices in the room fell to a near whisper as everyone listened in, the excitement in the room palpable. 

“I would,” Elain said, wanting so badly to be the daughter The Lady of Autumn—Amera—wanted her to be. She saw the way Amera fawned over Arina, who allowed it with glowing cheeks and shiny eyes. Elain bet Arina let Amera throw her a party the morning after, even if she spent the night torturing Eris with a knife.

Elain didn’t want to think about the implications there. 

Amera clapped pale, delicate hands together. “Oh, how lovely. It’ll take a bit of time to put together…would you like to help?”

“Yes,” Elain breathed, forgetting why she wanted to do this in the first place. Her own mother could be cold, calculated and careful. There had never been much warmth even for her favorites, and Elain often felt intimidated around her mother. Amera exuded the kind of warmth she’d often wished for as a child. If Amera had asked her to commit a murder, Elain was certain she would have picked up a sword and marched beneath the Lady of Autumn’s banner. 

Not that Elain knew how to use a weapon. Perhaps Tanwen could teach her.

Or your husband.

“Should we get started?” Amera asked.

Elain couldn’t suppress her grin. “Nothing would delight me more.”

LUCIEN:

“How do you stand it?” Lucien demanded, interrupting Eris and Cadmus in their private parlor. 

“Looking at you?” Eris replied dryly, eyes flicking up from his cards. “I manage.”

Lucien growled, earning a laugh from Conall across the room. He sat on a sofa, the picture of bored nobility while Tanwen tossed a knife up in the air. They were hiding from Beron, who had woken up in a foul mood. It was only a matter of time before he came looking for his sons.

Better to make themselves scarce and wait for the storm to pass. 

“You’re very funny,” Lucien said flatly, pulling up a chair to sit with his brothers. “I mean with mother. How do you stand her fawning over Arina?”

Eris’s brows knit together. “I rather like it.”

Of fucking course he did. 

“Gets her out of your hair, does it?” Tanwen taunted, clearly bored and looking for sport. 

“Her mother is dead,” Eris snarled, eyes flashing dangerously. It hadn’t been more than a year since the bond had snapped and Lucien didn’t think Eris would ever stop chafing beneath it. Even a whisper of insult toward Arina was enough to set his teeth to snapping. 

“Elain is planning a celebration,” Lucien informed his brothers, sinking further into his chair as he swiped a decanter of whiskey from the ornately carved table. “All mother speaks of is how sweet and lovely Elain is.”

“She is sweet,” Connall goaded. “If she were my—”

“That’s enough!” Eris barked, unwilling to mop up blood. “She would never be your wife because that would require you to be a male with honor…which you are decidedly not.”

Tanwen chuckled as Cadmus only nodded, eyes flicking from Eris to a scowling Connall. Would Cadmus break them up? That was his usual role in moments like these. 

“I don’t have a wife because Elain and Arina electrocuted the only good option left to us. How is little Ayla doing these days?”

Lucien looked up at the ceiling, wondering why he bothered to talk to his brothers at all.

“She’s well,” was all Eris said, laying his cards down with a triumphant smile. Lucien, having the benefit of standing behind Cadmus, cracked a half smile knowing that Eris was outmatched. A scowl darkened Eris’s face as Cadmus chuckled, pulling coins toward his already sizable pile.

No one could outsmart Cadmus in a game of cards.

“If you’re so bothered by your wife, why not remove her from court?” Cadmus finally said, glancing over his shoulder. “Send her to the Mountain Palace, or the Seaside Palace, if you must. Send some of the ladies from court to keep her company.”

The room had suddenly become frosty, the temperature dropping by several degrees. Lucien could feel all of his brothers glaring at him, their disapproval plain. She’d won them over just as surely as she’d stolen his mother and Lucien was jealous. Elain had simply come in and charmed everyone while he’d been trying to win the approval of his family presumably from the day he’d been born.

His brothers acted as if they knew something about him he did not—he was kept just out of reach, tolerated but not one of them. They shared some secret language Lucien did not speak. It didn’t help that Lucien was also a century younger than his next oldest brother, and Eris was nearly three centuries old by the time Lucien had been a baby. They’d watched him grow up, but in his memories, they were all grown.

Why was it so hard for him and so easy for Elain?

“Enjoy yourself, little Lucien,” Connall said in that easy, flippant way of his. “If mother likes Elain, it means you’ve found yourself a keeper. From Spring, no less.”

“It’s just…”

Not what he wanted. Every eye in the room fell back to their hands, refusing to look at him. They knew, though. Even after Eris had sent Jesminda away, even after she’d told him to leave her alone, he was still holding out some sliver of hope that he was going to wake up one morning and it would be Jesminda's dark hair splayed out on the pillow.

Even after everything, he still wanted her.

Lucien knew he was a fool.

“Go to bed, Lucien,” Eris said, rising from his chair. “Go fuck your wife until you can think of nothing and no one else. And if that doesn’t work, take a mistress to amuse yourself.”

“Leave Elain alone,” Tanwen added, a sharp edge to his voice. When Lucien looked around, he found his brothers all looking at him again, their eyes matching Tanwen’s tone. 

Right. 

She was one of them, but he was not. Lucien strode from the room, determined not to take Eris’s advice. Cadmus’ held promise, though. What if he sent her away after the celebration? Eris would never agree to let Arina join her, but Ayla would likely be allowed. Hells, Elain could hand pick the ladies she wanted to accompany her. And if she picked up with some sentry, well. Lucien didn’t care.

I’ll kill any male who touches her—

Lucien exhaled with frustration, making his way back to his bedchambers where he found Elain seated at a table staring at several different color swatches. She looked up when he walked into the room and without thinking, offered him a pretty half smile.

“Come help me,” she said as Lucien stood there agape. Was Elain willingly asking him to sit in her company? She typically darted off anytime he walked into a room. Lucien walked to her, waiting for the spell to shatter and her to realize it was him and not one of the brothers she preferred.

“What do you need help with?”

“These different shades of pink,” she said, a frown tugging the corners of her pretty mouth. “I hate them all.”

“So do I,” Lucien admitted, drinking in the rosy, spring shades. “What is your theme?”

Elain’s cheeks heated. “Old meets new.”

Spring meets Autumn, he supposed. Elain fidgeted with one of the squares of cloth, unable to meet his gaze.

“Perhaps something darker?” he offered. “More maroon than pink?”

“I thought the same thing,” Elain admitted, setting the little square back on the table. “But your mother has this vision of pink and silver and I don’t want to disappoint her.

“Trust me when I say you’ll disappoint her far more if you let her dress you in something you don’t like.”

“She’s been so nice,” Elain admitted, chewing on her bottom lip. “She’s like my mother if…���

Lucien held his breath, waiting for Elain to finish.

“Nevermind,” she said with a sigh, gathering up her swatches. “I��”

“No,” he breathed, strangely desperate. “Tell me.”

“It’s nothing, I promise,” she said, but Lucien wasn’t going to be deterred. He’d take anything, any little piece of information that would give him a more solid footing with the stranger he called a wife. They’d been married for nearly two weeks and Lucien knew practically nothing about her. Elain didn’t give up her secrets easily and in her defense, Lucien hadn’t tried to make conversation with her, either.

“Tell me anyway.”

“You’re not going to let it go, are you?” she said, bracing herself against the table. Lucien scooted closer as Elain lifted herself atop it, legs swinging sweetly. He wanted to get on his knees, wanted to slide his hand up her slim calves and—

“No. So you may as well just tell me,” he said, flashing her what he hoped was a charming grin. 

“Your mother is like my mother if she was warm,” Elain managed, eyes latching on a painting across the room. 

“Your mother is unkind?”

“No, not unkind, just…” Elain bit her bottom lip again. “Spring is a lot like a vipers nest, and you have to think like one if you want to survive. My mother is queen of the vipers, I suppose. She wasn’t cruel, but…we all had our parts to play, clearly.”

“Why did you go first?” Lucien asked, giving voice to the question that had plagued him since she’d first been sent to him. “Why not your older sister?”

Elain sighed. “The High Lord delays the match. He’s angling for Feyre, but the humiliation of spurning Nesta would ruin all of us. I think mother wanted to see me gone just in case he decided to spit in the face of tradition.”

“Tamlin loves tradition,” Lucien said softly. “If he promised to marry Nesta, he will.”

Elain nodded, though it was clear she didn’t agree. Whatever was going on over there, Elain certainly knew it better. Still, it was nice to have some context to the marriage. Elain had agreed, even though she didn’t want to, to ensure her sister's futures, too. There was something strangely lovely about it.

Or maybe it was just the insight that Lucien appreciated. He didn’t understand Elain at all, especially knowing her father likely would have intervened if she’d begged. Sometimes, Lucien imagined that Elain had come simply to torment him, even if deep down he knew that wasn’t true.

She’d come because she loved her family. That made it a little harder to dislike her. Would Lucien have done the same for his brothers? He genuinely couldn’t say, though he suspected he wouldn’t have. Not that it mattered—males weren’t held to the same standards as females. If Lucien had ruined his engagement, Elain would have been tainted in the process but he would have come out unscathed. 

“If you want, I can talk to mother,” Lucien offered, wanting to do something for Elain that wasn’t half apology. He felt earnest—hopeful, even. “Soften the blow.”

Elain offered him a half smile that made her even more beautiful than usual. Lucien was terrified of the day she gave him a full smile, wholly directed at him. Would he survive it? Lucien wasn’t sure he’d survive any of this because Elain was his mate, and he had the terrible feeling that if he got to know her, he’d like her.

It was a constant war between not wanting her at all and wanting her so badly it made his teeth ache. It was going to be like this for his entire life. Lucien understood why so many gave in to the bond. A not small part of him wanted to. Wanted to throw himself at her feet and demand to know why she hadn’t told him if she felt it, too. And another part wanted…well. Wanted to know if she’d like her if he didn’t have that thread tugging in his chest. His heart pounded out a steady, consistent beat: mine, mine, mine.

“I can do it,” she said, rising from her chair while stretching out her neck. “I don’t want her to think I don’t respect her.”

“She wouldn’t think that,” Lucien assured her, though he appreciated Elain was willing to have a personally uncomfortable conversation. 

“All the same,” Elain said blithely, eyes still dancing even when her mouth had flattened into a neutral expression. She was so fucking pretty. 

“Well. Tell me the colors so I don’t embarrass you,” he said, hoping, once again, he was coming off as charming and not demanding. Elain glanced over her shoulder, a curl ghosting over her cheek.

“Whatever you say.”

She turned for the bedroom, leaving Lucien to trail helplessly behind her. 

ELAIN:

If everything went according to plan, Tanwen would ask Ayla to dance. They’d look at each other. Maybe even speak, assuming Tanwen could move both his feet and lips at the same time. Maybe they’d kiss, if the night went well, and Tanwen would realize he was madly in love with Ayla and Elain could spend the rest of her time arranging their marriage to take her mind off her own. 

The Lady of Autumn had gone all out—the ballroom was packed with people from a myriad of courts, including her own. She’d seen Nesta floating around in a gown made of spun silver—a match for the blue of her sharp eyes. If Nesta was there, Feyre was, too, likely exploring some hidden area of the palace she shouldn’t be in. Elain had seen a few Day Court courtiers flock to Arina, their eyes lined with kohl, dressed in bright, breezy linens that seemed strangely out of place around Arina. 

Elain had taken Lucien’s advice, told his mother she didn’t like the rose color that had been chosen and ended up in a blood red gown that she never would have chosen for herself, once upon a time. When Amera presented it to Elain, setting the silk gown gently on the bed, Elain’s heart had thrummed.

Feyre would have worn it. Nesta, too. Her sisters were bolder, less afraid of making a statement. She wanted to be the kind of female who wore things like that, though. It was modest enough, with the off-shoulder sleeves that revealed freckled skin and delicate collarbones without even a hint of cleavage. The bodice was tight, the sides embroidered in gold flowers that made it seem as if her waist was pulled in smaller, creating the illusion of real curves.

She’d pulled her hair off her face with the pearl combs Lucien had given her as a show of good faith given how nice he’d been over the last few days. Not friendly, exactly, but nicer than he’d been since they’d met. He was looking at her when he spoke to her, which felt like a major improvement.

She hadn’t seen him yet, though the night was still early—plenty of time for Lucien to embarrass her yet. 

Floating through the throngs of people, the smell of sticky pastries and wine in the air, Elain tried to find Ayla. Her friend had sworn she’d be there, as had Tanwen after a lot of cajoling and pleading. 

Who will dance with me? she’d asked, making her eyes big and round. Tanwen, unused to being manipulated by a female, had folded almost immediately though he’d grumbled that he didn’t dance. Not with her, perhaps—but someone else? Elain didn’t believe he was above courting entirely given the rumors she’d heard floating around.

The Vanserra’s had a reputation and if Elain had to guess, she’d bet she was one of the few people left that had no idea what it was like to be underneath one.

“There you are,” Lucien’s warm voice murmured as his fingers brushed the tops of her shoulder. Elain turned and immediately wished she hadn’t. Lucien had asked what color she was wearing and Elain had said red and yet somehow, he’d managed to coordinate his jacket to the exact shade of her dress.

Fuck him, she thought privately as she took in the well-tailored fabric fitted to his broad, muscular chest. His boots gleamed beneath the faelights, cut up to his knees before giving way to black pants that showed off powerful thighs. He wore a gold band around his ring finger and he’d half braided his hair off his face much like Elain had done with the combs. He looked…he looked good.

Beautiful, even, in a roguish kind of way. 

“Were you looking for me?” Elain asked, noting that Lucien was looking at her much like she’d just done. His eyes darkened, scent sharpening and oh. This wasn’t a good time for him to realize he was sexually attracted to her. 

Lucien cleared his throat, eyes returning to her face. “It’s our celebration, I figured we ought to be seen together. Happy,” he added with a frown.

Elain couldn’t help her laugh. The whole thing was absurd. “Well, you’re truly selling it.”

Lucien blinked. “Are you going to tell me what this is in service of, now?”

“You don’t believe I’m so incandescently happy?” Elain teased, gaze snagging on the High Lord. She hadn’t expected Beron Vanserra to come, but there he was, arm linked with his wife and brown eyes bright as he listened to her speak. Elain was terrified of Beron and his shows of temper, his violence, and the bruises Elain often caught on Amera’s body when her sleeves slid up her wrists.

And yet here, he was the picture of adoration. Was it possible to love someone you hated? Elain turned, catching her husband also watching with a disdainful expression on his face. He didn’t bother hiding it, and Beron didn’t notice. Elain had heard Beron was preoccupied with Eris and Cadmus, but paid little attention to Connall and Tanwen and practically none at all to Lucien. To Elain, that seemed like a best case scenario, but maybe Lucien resented his fathers disinterest.

Or maybe he resented the way Beron terrorized his family.

She’d never asked, determined not to make it her business. 

Lucien rolled his eyes, returning to their conversation as his fingers skimmed down her spine. He’d been touching her more often—absent gestures she wasn’t certain he was even aware he did. Every time his skin met hers, Elain’s whole body ignited with interest, which prompted her to try, desperately, to avoid his touch. What would Lucien do if he ever caught a whiff of her changing scent?

Elain knew she was on borrowed time, that eventually there would be questions about what they did when they were alone. The expectation of children would begin to arise and Elain would have to bow to the pressure and at least try. It had taken her own parents nearly five decades to conceive Nesta and Elain expected it would take her just as long, even if she and Lucien put themselves on a strict schedule.

What was worse was the thought that she might enjoy it. The vision persisted, lingering in her mind as it taunted. 

You could be happy if you made different choices.

Lucien's fingers stilled at the small of her back, as though he realized how far he’d drifted and knew he was in danger. 

“Tell me the truth,” Lucien murmured, leading the two of them through the throngs of people dancing to soft music played by musicians seated in elegant chairs. Cool air blew in from the open windows and some brave souls donned cloaks before sneaking out toward the garden for a moment alone. 

Elain would bet that's where Feyre was. 

“We deserve a little celebration, Lucien,” she said, turning abruptly for the garden just to see what her sister was doing. The last thing she needed was for Eris to find Feyre poking through something and start an international incident like that one time Feyre had been permitted to join their father in Winter. 

“Elain—”

“Why does it bother you?” she asked without malice, letting him trail after her as they made their way into the dark. A pillar half hid a couple furiously kissing, the smell of salt and desire half choking Elain. Lucien coughed, for all the good it did—the pair broke apart to look at them before deciding they didn’t care if they had an audience. Elain scurried toward the grounds when the male dropped to his knees, head ducking beneath a skirt. Behind her, Lucien muttered something she couldn’t quite make out, though it sounded disapproving. 

“What if I wanted to help whatever scheme you’re currently working through?” he responded, jogging up beside her. “Did that occur to you?”

Elain’s steps slowed. It hadn’t. “I’m trying to set up your brother.”

Lucien’s brow furrowed. “Which one?”

“Tanwen.”

He laughed, which annoyed her. “What?”

“Tanwen? Elain, if you want to set him up, you need to hide her in the woods for him to find.”

“He said he’d dance,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest as she faced off with Lucien. The grass was damp, the wet bleeding through the soft fabric of her shoes. Unlike Lucien who had layers beneath his jacket, Elain merely had the thin fabric of her gown. Lucien looked warm, and some part of her wanted to close the distance between them and fold herself against his body.

“Did you use your feminine wiles on him? Poor Tanwen,” Lucien teased, poking her in the stomach. 

Elain scented something strange just as she was about to retort—sea salt and citrus, wholly out of place in the Autumn wood. Lucien, too, caught the scent of it, his eyes flicking up over Elain’s head as one hand came out to half pull her against his body. She’d been right—Lucien was warm. 

A moment later, Feyre Archeron appeared looking dazed and pale. Elain’s sister had merely stepped out of a rip in the world, trailing star-flecked shadows behind her as she went. There was no one with her—just Feyre, who could apparently winnow. Elain had never known that. 

“Are you okay?” Elain asked when Feyre passed. Her sister started, eyes bright like the moon.

“Of course,” she said, her tone strangely breathless. “I was…lost.”

“Lost.” Lucien repeated, his tone rich with disbelief. “Where were you going?”

“I…out,” Feyre finally said, practically floating away from them. Both Elain and Lucien watched and she suspected if she’d turned to look at him, they’d be wearing matching expressions of confusion.

“That…was strange,” Lucien finally said, releasing Elain from his grip. She took a step away on instinct, desperate for a breath of air not tainted by the soft, masculine scent of him. “Is she always like that?”

Elain wanted to assure him that Feyre wasn’t, but… “Yeah,” she said with a sigh. It was pretty par for the course for Feyre to slip off and keep secrets about her magic. If Feyre could winnow and hadn’t told anyone, it was for a reason. Elain certainly wasn’t going to divulge that information.

“Come on,” Lucien murmured, and she swore when she looked at him, a faint glow emanating off the edges of his skin. She blinked and it was gone, fading to a memory she couldn’t quite recall. Had she seen it? Or had she merely imagined it? 

“You’re shivering,” Lucien added when Elain didn’t move, reaching for her once again. He couldn’t keep touching her—he was wearing down her resolve. One of these days Lucien might put his hands on her and she’d thank him for it.

Something in her wanted to make him work harder, even if it was inevitable. She wanted to like him, at least, before he took her clothes off her. And more than that, Elain wanted Lucien to like her, too. She was certain he didn’t—not really. What she found gazing back at her when she looked at him was merely acceptance. He’d made his peace with this marriage, something he should have done the moment he found himself standing at the priestesses altar, and was ready to get on with things. 

Elain followed Lucien back into the bright, dizzying warmth, eyes scanning the room for both her sisters and Tanwen. She found Ayla, dressed in rich burgundy chatting with a male whose name escaped her. She saw Connall leaned against a pillar holding court while a semi-circle of females laughed at something undoubtedly stupid he’d said.

Cadmus and Eris patrolled the edges of the room, talking among themselves even as Eris’s eyes continued to slide to his mate, giggling with some of the females that routinely came to Ayla’s card games.

But no Tanwen. Lucien must have realized it, too, because his fingers brushed the back of her hand. “Told you.” It was the wrong thing to say to her right then. His touch, combined with her own confusing mix of emotions, caused a rush of anger to flood through her. Elain’s attraction to him, the closeness of his body, the way she swore she saw him looking at her at times—all of it was too much.

“That was uncalled for,” she hissed, grateful when he didn’t follow behind her. Elain didn’t turn to look at him, either.

She knew he was watching.

She could feel it.

LUCIEN:

“You’re an asshole,” Lucien began, snatching the weapon from his brothers hand before Tanwen could take a swing. Tanwen turned, brows raised. 

“For what?”

“You told Elain you’d dance with her,” Lucien reminded him, almost telling his brother the truth of the matter. Lucien very much doubted Elain would be forgiving if she learned he’d messed up her little plan—even if Lucien thought it was ridiculous. 

Tanwen blew out a breath. “I don’t dance.”

“It was one dance.”

“You dance with her,” Tanwen retorted, reaching for the axe but Lucien held it just out of reach. They were matched for height and likely matched in strength, though Lucien knew from experience that if Tanwen wanted to hurt him, it would be relatively easy for him to do so. In his youth, he’d tried to take on all his brothers to disastrous results. Besides, if he limped back into the house with a bruised eye and busted lip, Elain would know that he’d been meddling to help her.

It might make her like him a little better…and Lucien didn’t want her to know he was trying as hard as he was. He couldn’t explain it—call it petulance, call it his own inner angst, but Lucien wanted Elain to simply wake up one day desperate and needy from the bond and court him a little, too.

“You made a promise,” Lucien pressed, tossing the axe to the damp, leafy ground beside his brother. 

“I fucking hate that shit,” Tanwen snapped, running a hand over his messy hair. “The people, the noise, I—” he took a breath. “I tried, alright? But someone tried to talk to me and I couldn’t do it. If you want me to make it up to your wife, though—”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” Lucien warned, temper flaring. Lucien was coming to the realization that he likely couldn’t spend another month sleeping in the same bed as his mate without touching her. He toyed with the idea of creating some kind of bargain between them in which he was allowed to have her in the evenings and she could do whatever she liked with the rest of her time. But Lucien’s treacherous mind betrayed him, conjuring images of her taking a lover and he became restless and angry all over again. In his mind, Lucien was allowed to have her however he wanted her, but ultimately bore no responsibility toward her as he figured out his own feelings.

To make matters worse, every time he pictured Elain, his guilty thoughts bled Jesminda into the image until Lucien was frustrated with himself—Jesminda had told him to move on. Move on. It was taking too long, the heartbreak making a fool out of him. How did people get over it? Did they ever? 

Or maybe you’re scared you’ll move on and be fine, a traitor's voice whispered in his mind. Maybe you’re afraid you’d be happy if you let yourself.

“Shut up,” he mumbled under his breath. 

Tawnen glanced at Lucien, rolling his eyes. “I’m sorry if I upset Elain,” Tanwen conceded, though he didn’t look too shamed. “I’ll make it up to her.” Lucien doubted it, though, given his wife was very much trying to set Tanwen up. He trusted she’d find some new little scheme to put them back in the same room. Begrudgingly, he had to admit the thought of Elain trying to set Tanwen up amused him, if only because Tanwen was the most oblivious of the bunch. If he had his way, he’d abandon court entirely for some cottage in the woods and live entirely off the land. Tanwen would have thrived as governor of the rural counties of Autumn, though that post belonged to Connall, technically.

Beron sent Tanwen to their biggest port city and forced him to oversee the people there, knowing Tanwen hated the politics just as he knew counting crops bored Connall to tears. It wasn’t about learning anything, either. He simply liked making his sons suffer for his amusement. Lucien wasn’t allowed any leadership positions—Beron said he didn’t have enough cities, though Lucien knew that Beron simply didn’t like him and did not want to nurture any potential High Lord qualities in Lucien that might unseat Eris or Cadmus. 

Lucien left Tanwen to his weapons, meandering even when he knew where he was going. He wanted the pretense of stumbling upon her, of seeing her with her hair tied off her face with a pink bandana, hands buried in soil. Lucien found her dressed in a rich purple, hem pooled around her knees as she plunged a little trowel into the earth.

She wore his gloves. Lucien’s heart raced at the sight of them, once tossed carelessly in a drawer along with everything else. She’d worn his combs the night before, his gloves today…Lucien took a breath. Elain was softening. Maybe he could bend a little, too. Pushing open the gate, Lucien made his way toward her.

“Planting?” he asked, noting the bed of weeds had been cleared out of the space. It must have taken her hours to do it.

Elain glanced up, a bead of sweat sliding down her brow. He wanted to taste it. “Your brothers helped clear this place out,” she said sweetly, rising up to sit on her heels. “It’s made things go faster.”

“What are you planting?”

“Here? Aster,” she said, showing him the little trays of budding plants she’d clearly been growing herself. “I’ve mapped it all out. Would you like to see?”

“Yes,” he breathed, coming close enough their knees brushed when he lowered himself to the ground. Elain pulled out a little journal and a rolled up piece of paper that she spread out for him.

Lucien recognized Cadmus’ work, sketched out beside Elain’s looping, pretty handwriting. 

“Your brother painted it for me,” Elain admitted, running her fingers over the pretty watercolors that graced the page. I showed him my layout and he put it together.

“We should frame this when you’re finished,” Lucien murmured, thinking it really was lovely. 

Elain’s eyes were bright. “Really?”

He didn’t like that creeping hope in her voice—her belief that he wasn’t a kind male, and didn’t care about her at all. It wasn’t true, though Lucien knew he’d done very little to disabuse her of the notion.

“Of course,” he replied, trying to keep his voice light and nonchalant. “You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished.”

Elain tucked a curl behind her ear. “It’s just a garden, it’s not as if—”

“It’s important,” Lucien interrupted, tone gentle but firm. “Beautiful, too.”

Elain’s cheeks flushed, eyes slipping back to the ground. “That’s…thank you, Lucien.”

“Can I help?” he asked, deciding to push his luck. What did it hurt, he reasoned, to try and get to know his wife? His mate? 

Biting her bottom lip, Elain nodded. “That would be nice.”

“I saw Tanwen this morning,” Lucien said, adopting a lighter, more gossipy tone. Elain’s eyes lit up.

“Did you tell him he ruined my night?” Elain demanded with a grin. “Winston occupied nearly all of Ayla’s time.”

“Winston,” Lucien grumbled, though in truth he had no issue with the lord. Winston was perfectly polite, in a bland kind of way. He was the kind of male Ayla could boss around and dominate, which wasn’t the worst position to be in given how Autumn viewed females. It was the closest thing to autonomy Ayla could hope for.

“Right?” Elain agreed, taking one of the little plants from him to nestle it gently in the dirt. “He’s so…”

“Agreed,” Lucien replied, heart thudding in his throat. “Could I offer you some advice?”

“Please,” she replied, eyes darting to him again. The urge to push her into the dirt and cover her mouth with his own reared through him with an intensity so hot that Lucien could feel his cock stir in his pants. 

Calm yourself, he ordered. 

“Consider an activity that Tanwen is interested in.”

“Like what?”

“What is the game you, Arina, and Ayla are always organizing on the lawn?”

“It’s a bit like tag, but less rough,” Elain admitted, cheeks flushing again.

“So why not a larger game?” Lucien suggested, mind racing with possibilities. “Or, perhaps something more akin to hide and seek. That could be romantic.”

Elain’s brows raised. “You’re quite clever.”

He grinned. “I’ll take the compliment.”

“How would we ensure we get them alone?”

“Easy enough. You and I will hide somewhere together—somewhere only I know,” Lucien added, his heart picking up again. He knew the exact tree he’d put her in, ancient and hollowed out by a High Lords son long since dead. Lucien had spent years hiding there as a child, reading and writing and otherwise daydreaming about more interesting adventures. With Elain, the space would feel smaller…perhaps he’d take the opportunity to truly touch her. Run his knuckles over her cheek, his nose along the curve of her neck.

“And Arina?”

Lucien snorted. “Eris won’t be able to help himself.”

Elain wrinkled her nose, scrunching the little freckles adorably. “Ew.”

“And Tanwen considers himself an expert tracker. Finding Ayla will be easiest, because she won’t be masked by another male's scent. And maybe, once they’re alone…”

Elain clapped her hands in front of her chest, giving him an excuse to look at the soft swell of her breasts. Elain was far too appealing, mate or not, and Lucien had the sinking suspicion he’d want her even without the cord currently wrapped around his throat. 

Squashing his guilt, Lucien took a breath. 

Unaware of his inner torment, Elain offered him a smile. “Okay. I like this plan—give me a few days to put it together so it seems natural and not too suspicious.”

“Naturally.”

“And you’ll join?”

“Nothing would amuse me more than to see Tanwen fall prey to the very court scheming he loathes.”

“You make it sound so sinister. I merely want him to find happiness,” she said, unaware that Ayla was the kind of female Tanwen had made a habit of ignoring. He could see her with Cadmus, perhaps, if Cadmus ever deigned to smile or have a moment of fun. Connall was too busy fucking his way through Prythian to ever consider a wife and truthfully, was likely to make someone very unhappy given how little he thought of commitment. 

“And you think Ayla is his happiness?” Lucien questioned.

Elain only shrugged. “Maybe. It doesn’t hurt to try, does it?”

Lucien began digging out Elain’s next chalk mark as she carefully replanted, not willing to look at her. “I suppose not,” he murmured, feeling as if she were speaking to him as well. You’re not trying at all, he swore her voice accused which wasn’t true. He’d given her gifts, hadn’t he? He was sitting outside despite the biting chill, hands without gloves, dirt gathering beneath his nails. 

Lucien wondered if she couldn’t sense his hesitation, his indecision. What did she feel? He was desperate to know. Experimentally, he pulled on the bond just to see what she’d do. Elain’s brow furrowed, hand flying to her chest to rub.

“Are you well?” he asked. Tell me you feel what I feel.

“I may have strained myself,” she admitted, hand falling to her lap. “Or perhaps I’m coming down with something.”

Lucien bit back his sigh. She felt it, but didn’t realize what was happening. Perhaps that was a blessing, then. He wondered if the snapping had felt different for her, or had been masked by her other emotions, lost to the swirl of fear and anxiety. How did he tell her without upsetting her? Could he? 

“You should take it easier,” he murmured, unsure how she’d even go about doing that. “Rest more.”

Elain bit her bottom lips, gaze far away. “I feel like all I do is rest. I garden, I go about with my friends, I eat, I sleep. Hardly exerting.” Interesting. “What would you like to be doing, then?”

She considered this, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “Travel?”

Lucien’s whole body tightened. Was that it? His disbelief must have shown on his face because she quickly added, “I heard the continent had tulip fields as big as a sea.”

“I’ve never seen them,” he admitted, mind racing, “I’d like to, though.”

“Maybe we could go?” she suggested.

Lucien resisted the urge to crush her against him. “Whatever you like.”

It was a start.

[hestzhyen]

Volume 4 Extras and Da Vinci Interview Yap: Names Edition

Not going to post screen caps since the extras are considered an incentive to buy the volumes. But I will definitely talk a bit about the info we got!

Names!

Braidbro's given name is Enji (円慈). 円 (en) means "circle" or "round" and is also the kanji for the Japanese yen. It's chosen for a baby to convey a sense of being valued, successful, and surrounded by love. Hm. 慈(ji) means love (in a parent-child sense), mercy, or compassion, and is chosen for it's direct meaning. HM. Wonder why he was the one Shiba talked to about honoring Tenri's memory by making sure none of the other kids followed his footsteps... (not). [circle of compassion] perhaps?

Sazasis is Tamaki (珠紀)! 珠 (tama) means "pearl", chosen for purity, beauty, and grace. 紀 (ki) means era or chronicle to remember special moments or events, the family's legacy and history, and/or to follow rules and regulations. [pearl chronicle] is a pretty name!

Birthdays

Kerfluffle over Hakuri being 17 aside, not much stands out. Unless you're into zodiac signs and Western birthstone interpretations I guess- go wild if so.

Well, actually... Sojo being confirmed 30 years old is pretty funny. Dude legit had beef with an 18-year old because of his parasocial relationship to the kid's dead dad. LMAO. He must have been so happy to have been born a day (and like 10 years) after Kunishige too.

If we want to take holidays into account, Chihiro was born on Mountain Day (8/11)! It's a fairly recent holiday that was only enacted in 2014, ostensibly to promote appreciation of the many mountains in Japan. I don't think there's any special meaning to this beyond the trivia value, as it was probably a coincidence if anything.

Hakuri's birthday falls on an unofficial holiday- Sakura Day (3/27). It was created in 1992 by the Cherry Blossom Association to promote interest in the tradition of hanami, or cherry blossom viewing. Probably another coincidence but we take these. It seems to suit him somehow!

Spring and summer, what a wonderful combination~ Don't think too hard about how Kunishige probably had New Year's sex based on Chihiro's birth date though. Don't imagine sexy Kunishige. Don't do it! Stop that!

SoTen?!

There was a little sketch of Soya talking to Tenri (thanks to Hella for the TL!) in the extras. It mentioned that Soya had a slight inferiority complex towards Tenri due to how fast his youngest brother surpassed him, which led him to fixate on Hakuri instead.

SoHaku folks are going a little nuts over this as you'd expect. Can't blame them though since several prominent artists in and outside of that circle had thought this might be the case. To have it confirmed in canon is pretty satisfying for all those who believed in it.

I never gave it much thought from the Tenri perspective, but it makes sense. Soya seems like he was supposed to be That Guy but was found lacking for some reason. He was lurking in the background every time Kyora was talking to Tenri and Hakuri side-by-side, completely unnoticed. And the stuff with his name, of course... So yeah. Hakuri really was Soya's punching bag because Soya felt he wasn't good enough. Thank goodness Soya is dead and definitely never coming back. Clothing Mysteries Revealed

There were also simple sketches of Hakuri and Chihiro's top layers to basically confirm what we already knew thanks to Chapter 45. Chihiro wears a plain long-sleeved black shirt, a track coat, and a trench coat that is a pain for Hokazono-sensei to draw. He might change the trench coat for something else later but wouldn't count on it for now. Hakuri wears a long-sleeved black turtleneck under a dress shirt and a haori that he tucks into his pants (cute!!!). The biggest surprise is that the dress shirt has a breast pocket I guess?

I'm happy for all the fan artists out there who will find the references useful, but... THE STRAPS? HELLO??? WHY THE STRAPS ON THE PANTS?! I insist this insignificant detail gets elaborated on. I require it. Is it his own fashion sense? If so, he didn't have them the day Ice Lady died despite the half boots, pants, and haori-undershirt combo remaining intact. At least a day passed (maybe) between her death and him being kicked out- he has a different style of dress shirt on the second layer compared to when we see him in the present day. So Hakuri had time to change but why add the straps? Where did they come from??? I cannot let this go. HELP.

Da Vinci Magazine Interview

Hokazono-sensei provided a long interview to the magazine that was published to help promote Volume 4's release. Brasilbro posted a lightly edited Machine TL of it, which has caused some buzz (my soul withers at the prospect of trying to do it myself...). As expected there's a lot of love given to Naruto, John Wick, and depicting blood splatters. He also references JJK and CSM as other manga that tell a faster story than previous shounen series. I've seen a lot of manga in recent years try to emulate Fujimoto-sensei's style, but I think Hokazono-sensei's done it the best because he's also a film buff. You can tell he loves action movies and has a movie director's PoV when he's composing the scenes (and especially the fights). Not that other styles are bad- I love me some more traditional shounen like Wind Breaker and HxH too. It's just if you're going to try and copy the feel of a Fujimoto manga, you need to be as insanely in love with movies as he is.

That's why the pacing in Kagurabachi is so fast, too- he doesn't want to lose reader engagement by slowing things down and having longer arcs with a few "dead" chapters here and there. He acknowledges that this makes the manga a very dense read at least. And I'm fine with it. I wish it was a smidge slower, but I still wouldn't change the pacing. I just hope it doesn't go any faster than this because every week is like a whirlwind already.

Kind of interested, kind of worried that he's using up all his prepared ideas as fast as he can to try and create new ones. Won't call it arrogant but maybe... idealistic? Creation is hard, man. Especially working at the brutal pace of a weekly serialization. I just hope he can keep up without compromising his health like so many other mangaka are forced to do. He mentions in the next paragraph that he's starting to feel the pressure. Not surprising in the least with all the extra art he's had to make for cover and color pages, volume bonuses, and re-draws.

I'm also really, really glad that I can put my worries of a sudden introduction of yokai or mythical beings as enemies to rest. He confirmed that he wanted Kagurabachi to be about people versus people. Yay! I wouldn't drop the manga if we changed course into fighting a supernatural threat, but I could get that pretty much anywhere. I'm invested in Kagurabachi for the storytelling about the human vs. human conflicts more than anything else. Keeping the cast and foes entirely (or mostly) human helps sell the extremely personal nature of Chihiro's revenge mission IMO.

Then there's this...

You wanted Hakuri to add some cuteness, huh?! Oh boy did you nail that one, Hokazono-sensei. These two are going to be fruity as heck to the end I can tell. But I'm also reassured as a HakuHiro shipper that Hokazono actually wanted Hakuri there and likes the character (he also mentioned that he likes drawing him in the Vol. 4 extras). I didn't believe the bad-faith accusations of Hakuri being the result of executive meddling for one second- don't sell me that short. I've read all of Hokazono-sensei's oneshots so I know he loves his color-coded SasuNaru expy duos. But sometimes I feel the relationship he's written between Hakuri and Chihiro is too good to be real. If he REALLY wanted them to come across that sus, though? Okay then! I won't worry about the wellspring drying up any time soon.

In general it seems like Hokazono-sensei's pretty put-together (for a memelord) and happy to be drawing Kagurabachi. I'm really, really glad for him and It's exciting to see his series finally get the recognition it deserves. Kagurabachi's on the big come-up now with all the extra promotion since winning the Tsugimanga award. Become the future of WSJ!

It's late. I've yapped too much today. If you read this- thanks. Say something nice to yourself, alright? And take care.

[ladykailitha]

Oh For a Muse of Fire! Part 12

Thank you so much for the love this story has been getting. I love every comment and tag. You guys are the best!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9 Part 10  Part 11

*

“They want us to record a demo?” Jeff asked for the hundredth time since the agent had talked to them.

They were in the garage they used for practice the next day. They still were on the high of suddenly having an agent. Something that they certainly wouldn’t have had without The Queen’s Crown.

“Holy shit!” Gareth said, his voice high from the excitement. “They want us to record a demo.”

“Hell yeah, they do!” Eddie said clapping a poor stunned Brian on the shoulder.

They sat in stunned silence for a couple of minutes.

“This doesn’t mean we’ve made it,” Brian said softly, barely above a whisper.

“No,” Eddie agreed. “But making a demo to shop around to all the labels is a hell of lot closer than we were two weeks ago.”

Gareth let out a shuddering breath. “I thought that song would do it for us, you know. That it would put us on the map.”

“Hey,” Jeff said. “It still might. We just have to knock the recording out of the ballpark too.”

“Think of it as a campaign,” Eddie suggested. “You found the magical item, now you just got to get to the final boss. There’ll be other adventures along the way, but we’ll get there.”

They all nodded.

*

Steve was set to start his painting. Eddie was strewn out on a bed of red satin, his hair a halo around his head, his body beautifully stretched. Steve yearned.

He yearned to press his lips on the indent of Eddie’s collar bone. To taste the line where hip met leg. To run his fingers through those dark locks. To bring a flush to those pale cheeks.

Steve bit down on his lip. He couldn’t fuck this up. Not like what he did last year. He had to paint the whole thing. His face, his thighs, his cock. Steve couldn’t cover anything up or place anything in the frame that cover any part of Eddie.

Everything else? Was completely up to interpretation. He could Lucifer fallen from heaven (if you wanted to torture yourself with painting wings). He could be fair Lysander asleep from Puck’s flower. He could be from any myth, legend or story.

Steve had chosen Eros asleep when Psyche comes to him the first time. Because if there was anyone who fit the god of desire and love, it was Eddie.

He got to work on sketching Eddie’s outline. Choosing the scene carefully. And then when he was home he would work on painting the bed, using an old catalogue as reference for the four poster bed he wanted.  

Every time Joyce walked by when he was painting Eddie, she would nod her approval and walk on.

*

“Fuck, Chrissy!” Eddie cried, burying his face into the throw pillows on her sofa. “The way he looks at me makes it very hard not to get aroused. And I cannot get aroused. I’ve tried thinking of horror movies, cataloguing my band t-shirts in order of when I got them, or even Jeff in a tutu!”

She patted his head gently. “Is this beer, ice cream, or Chinese food freak out?”

Eddie raised his head thoughtfully. “Chinese food.”

Chrissy nodded and went to go make their order. She squeezed onto the sofa between his head and the armrest. She began threading her fingers gently through his hair.

“Do you think he’s doing it on purpose? Like to fuck with you?” she asked softly. “Or you think he has the hots for you so bad it’s leaking out all over the place?”

Eddie slowly sat up next to her and put his head on her shoulder. “I want to believe it’s the latter. But we really haven’t done much except grab the occasional coffee. We text and call all the time, but I don’t know what means.”

“Have you told him you’ve had a crush on him for awhile?” Chrissy asked. Her and Pearl spent most of their shifts together complaining about how their best friends were morons that kept making googly eyes at each other.

“No...” Eddie said with a sigh, dragging his hands over face. “Because of the nude thing.”

“What’s up with the nude thing that prevents you from going after what you want?” She shifted on the sofa to prop her head up on her fist, her elbow on the back of the sofa.

“It’s already hard enough keeping everything down,” he gestured vaguely below his waist, “but add actually knowing what he tastes like, knowing what his skin feels like under my hands, my lips, my tongue? It would take all of two fucking seconds of him looking at me with those bedroom eyes and I’d be harder than that god damn concrete floor.”

Chrissy giggled. “Yeah, I could see how that would be a problem. That’s the best part about being a woman, when we get aroused, it’s a lot harder to tell.”

Eddie scoffed. “Which also makes it the worst part about being a woman because then it means the other person is fucking clueless.”

“Mostly guys,” she agreed.

“Are you glad you’re a lesbian?” he teased, going into tickle her sides.

She squealed with laughter and batted him aside. “Knock that off.”

Just then the doorbell rang. “That’s our food. Saved by the bell.”

Chrissy hopped up to get the food and paid. She set their food on the coffee table and began going through the boxes.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Eddie said. “I could have at least covered the tip.”

Chrissy laughed. “Babe, you’re working part time as model and getting paid by the gig. Save your money. I get paid $15 an hour plus tips. Believe me when I say, I’ve got this.”

He kissed her cheek. “I’m glad the Queen’s Crown is working out for you, sweetie. You seem so much happier since you’ve started working there.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “And Diamond is thinking of hiring a third bartender things are going so well. It used to be that they only needed the one on week days and two on Fridays and Saturdays, which is when Diamond would step in and help. But with how well Garnet and I get on, we have more people coming in on the week days and we’re getting better tips, too. So Diamond wants to bring in a third so that Garnet leaves we’ll still have two at the bar.”

“Wow,” Eddie said. “I’ve been stuck in the same place for so long...” he spread out his hands, “I forgot what freedom was. We’ve been in the studio recording the last couple of weeks working on our demo to be shopped around.” He sighed heavily. “I’ve writing every moment I can. Hell, most of my best lyrics come from me just lying there for three hours. Well...the ones that don’t have Steve in them, anyway.”

Chrissy laughed. “Oh, I’m sure the lyrics that come from those classes are way to risque for radio.”

Eddie blushed and shoved hair in front of his face. “Shit, Chris. I don’t know.”

She ate her food thoughtfully watching Eddie push his food around. She nudged his shoulder with hers. “So what’s the real problem?” He looked up at her confusion. “I know you. There is something else that’s bothering you, love. You’re wound up so tight.”

Eddie shrugged. “I don’t know.” He set his food down and clasped his hands together, looking down at his feet.

She bumped him again. “You just talked about the freedom to write music, to get the chance to really do something with your life. But I don’t see it in your features, babe.”

“What happens to Steve if I do get a record deal and have to start touring?” he muttered mournfully. “What happens if we’re more than friends when we leave? I just feel torn apart. Having to chose between the life I’ve always dreamed, and my man of my dreams. I don’t know if I would chose touring with the guys if it came down it.” He threw his arms around her. “I would chose Steve every time and that scares me.”

“Oh.” She set her own food on the floor and wrapped her arms him. “Oh, sweetie. That’s why you have to talk to him. Because it sounds to me like those questions have answers only he can give.”

Eddie let out a sob. “What if the answer is that he doesn’t want to try because he doesn’t want to be left behind?”

She kissed the top of his head. “How would you be leaving him behind? Just because he stays in one place while you tour, doesn’t mean you’ve left him behind. It just means you’ve given yourself a home to come back to.”

Eddie looked up at her in awe. “Oh.” He snuggled in close. “You’re the best friend an idiot could ask for.”

She poked his side until he squirmed. “You’re not an idiot, Eddie. Anymore than you were an asshole about Steve. You can only work with the knowledge you have. And yeah, maybe some of your choices were pretty fucked up, you were able to move past it and become friends.”

Eddie let out a shuddering breath. And then another. “I love you, Chrissy.”

“I know, sweetie,” Chrissy murmured, kissing the top of his head.

*

“You wanted to know who Garnet is,” Jonathan snapped. “So that’s why we’re here.”

Nancy sighed. “Doesn’t this go against the bar’s rules or whatever?”

Jonathan threw his arms in the air. “I don’t care at this point. They all know who I am and I know who they are. Because shit happens outside of work sometimes and it gets revealed.”

Nancy rolled her eyes. “I’ll just go to the bar tonight like Onyx suggested.”

Jonathan furrowed his brow. “No. Absolutely not. Because if you do, you’ll get upset and if you get upset, you’ll make a scene and if you make a scene Diamond will ban you.”

It was Nancy’s turn to throw her arms in the air. “Can’t you just tell me who it is?”

“Because you wouldn’t believe him,” a warm, gentle voice said behind her.

She whirled around and gasped. “Steve!”

Steve smiled sadly. “Hey, Nance.”

She looked back and forth between Jonathan and Steve in shock. “He’s Garnet?”

Both men nodded.

“Pure coincidence,” Jonathan said. “I had been working at the bar for a year when we needed a new bartender. Steve came in with Robin and they were both hired.”

Nancy’s eyebrows shot up. “Robin works there too?”

“Yup!” Steve said with a smile. The smile slowly slid from his face. “Look. I know me turning out to be gay was hard on you. Especially with how it all came out. But just remember, I didn’t come out because I wanted to, it was because I forced to.”

Nancy buried her head in her hands, she looked up at him, anger sparking in her eyes. “If you hadn’t tried to be a hero...”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t just hear you say that it would have been better for a girl to be raped and not realize I’m gay over what I did,” Steve snarled.

She opened her mouth to refute him but no sound would come out.

“I’m sorry it ruined your life, Nancy,” Steve said. “But it wasn’t just your life that was ruined. Do you know long it took for me me to walk down the street without people whispering behind their fingers? How long it took to be able to look at myself in the mirror because of the scars around my neck? I’m sorry I’m the reason you can’t trust Jonathan, but fucking hell Nancy, you aren’t as big as the victim you are making yourself out to be.”

Jonathan touched her elbow. “I didn’t know you felt this way. You need to talk to someone, Nance. That was some pretty messed up shit I just heard.”

Her lip began to quiver. “I didn’t mean that. I swear I didn’t. Because you’re right, that was so mess up.” She let out a shuddering breath. “The newspaper has someone...I’ll give him a call.”

Steve reached out and held open his arms to her. Nancy wavered a moment, looking to Jonathan. He nodded and she ran for Steve’s arms. He wrapped her up in a fierce hug.

“I’m sorry, Steve,” she whispered. “I’ve just been so angry for so long.”

He kissed the top of her head. “You’ve got a good boyfriend there, Nance. Take advantage of that, okay?”

Nancy nodded. “Okay.”

He gave her a brief squeeze and let her go. “I’ve got to get to class. But you take care of yourself, you hear?”

She smiled and let Jonathan lead her away.

Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17 Epilogue

Tag List: @artiststarme @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @itsall-taken @m-owo-n @zerokrox-blog @runyousillydetective @grimmfitzz @wonderland-girl143-blog @sapphirecobalt-1 @scheodingers-muppet @victor-thee-corvid @apricottree @bookbinderbitch @sleepyboosstuff @biatcgh @pixiefallingupthestairs @grtwdsmwhr @thepainisspicy @carlyv @eboyawstenn @bisexualdisastersworld @bidisastersworld @abstractnaturaldisaster @evix-syne666 @nerdsconquerall @lololol-1234 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @a-little-unsteddie @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @elluminis @tailsfromthecrypt @danili666 @plyerice27 @alittlegreyfish  @n0-1-important @no-upper-limit-to-stupidity @maya-custodios-dionach @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @heaven428 @thedragonsaunt @ceaselessly-watching @imfinereallyy

[acolorboom]

!!! you have a JJK au :0

do you have a plot for it or is it just unconnected doodles? either way! i love the art you've made for it, so ig use this ask as an opportunity to talk about it if you want?

Yes!!! Thank you so much!!! It came to me in a vision while I was watching JJK (I’ve been obsessing over it since June smh)

For now it’s just very rough sketches that I’m trying to make sense of, but here’s what I have so far, (but be warned though it’s very unpolished) :

- story

It follows Hypno, a fully fledged grade 1 sorcerer as he tries to survive slaying curses. He’s still based in whatever version of Jujutsu High there is in this universe, however he’s mostly out on missions with his work partner XB.

On one of these missions the two stumble upon an injured kid with marks on his back that suspiciously resemble the ones of the Watchers, who, in this universe, are a group of highly skilled sorcerers that are so powerful they are regarded as gods.

The kid, Grian, doesn’t remember a single thing that happened to him before he went unconscious, and some of the sorcerers begin to suspect there’s something deeper going on.

Hypno gets reluctantly paired up with Grian as his student, and, along with several other sorcerers they try to figure out what is wrong with the Watchers, and the inner workings of their universe.

-

It also merges some aspects of the Minecraft universe (ex. Mobs and some lore points) with JJK

-

Unfortunately for now it’s all in rough doodle and loose note format, but I have some designs :D

—-

You probably already are familiar with Hypno’s design. I didn’t change it much since I thought it already fit the design standards of JJK, I mainly added more weapons and slightly altered his outfit. I imagine he customized it a bunch because he canonically doesn’t like symmetry (?), also matching his schtick as sort of a death & sleep deity I have going on for him.

-

I’ve mentioned it already but XB’s design is mainly inspired by diving suits and just the ocean in general. I imagine his powers include water manipulation and summoning of sea creatures.

-

Pearl,Scar,Mumbo and Grian are the students!

I mostly got notes on Pearl and Grian, who are half - siblings whose powers complement each other (moon and sun) and who are separated at the start of the story, while as I imagine Scar and Mumbo being the “veterans” (they’ve just been at the school for longer but them and the Skyblings are all in year one)

-

I still have more hermits I am planning to add but Tumblr has a file limit so that’s gonna have to be it lol

As always feel free to ask more questions :p

[periwinklemoonlight]

I AM VERY INTERESTED I LOVE HEARING THOUGT PROCESSES AND ITS SO CLEAR HOW MUCH PASSION AND CARE WAS PUT INTO YOUR ZINE PIECE

AHH THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! i have so many thoughts i dont know where to begin LMAO ill start with the outfit designs first!!

to start things off, every design has one specific colour in mind to represent that hermit! pearl - blue, gem - green, impulse - yellow, doc - black/gray, and grian - red! (everyone's nails are painted their colour) every design was deliberately punk-inspired, since during the king arc the soup group was a force of resistance against the monarchy's tyranny :P therefore, the soup group are the main focus of the art and their designs are intentionally made so that they stand out more from the other two, though i made sure they were all unique in one aspect or another :] let's go character by character now! (i'm including all my initial design sketches + some inspo photos too)

pearl - she's the lead singer of soup group, along with playing the electric guitar! her design features a double tank top + low rise big pant combo, moon motifs of course, and two distinct shades of blue! The darker one is seen throughout her hair and outfit, while the lighter one in her moth antenna is reflected in her guitar. the main inspiration for her look was avril lavigne, which is also what influenced me to add those fun blue hair streaks :D on her shirt i wanted to have a sort of skeletal moth/butterfly design!!

gem - the keytar! i wanted to make sure that gem and pearl's designs looked very distinct from each other, so i went for a slightly different vibe with gem's! her design is based more off of the plaid skirts, big boots, and fishnet looks i found while looking through early 2000s lip service magazine scans (as well as some hayley williams looks!!) :D additionally, shes got vine tattoos over her body to call back to her nature elf vibe this season!

impulse - the drummer of course!! for his look, i wanted to go a little more anarcho-punk (since its a much older punk style and hes the oldest member of soup group LOL), so his vest jacket has got a bunch of diy additions like patches, pins, paperclips, and chains, along with a bunch of spikes!! in my mind, the back of his jacket has probably got a whole lot more patches, spikes, and studs :] beyond that, i made sure to give him lots of piercings (though my options were limited since s9 impy has a beard lol), and stretched earlobes for fun!! ideally his pants would also have a lot more patches and fun bits, but since his legs would be entirely covered by his drums in the final piece i went for something simpler

doc - an opener and feature on the song! since he's not part of the soup group, his design is quite a bit simpler than the others in terms of both look and concept :] his look is monochrome save for his robotic red parts and green skin, but still looks interesting thanks to that fun leather jacket :D his look is purposefully more reminiscent of a 50's style greaser, i wanted to go for an older fashion style to make him look more intimidating/mature, as well as set him apart from the look of soup group since the perimeter was an independent nation in the king arc!

grian - another feature/opener! design wise? hes literally just green day i can't even lie like the pun was perfect and also the black shirt + red tie combo is iconic and also fits his look so effortlessly it had to be done LMAO also, if you look closely in the final piece you can see he's wearing eyeshadow! this of course is again because hes grian day /silly. but to be real, i think this style also fits him really well since the tie + spikes & studs combo gives the look that sorta rebellious vibe that was all over his videos during the king arc :]

AND NOW FOR THE INSTRUMENTS!! this segment is thankfully much shorter

pearl's guitar is of course a nod to my design for her and her moth wings! butterfly guitars are harder to draw than you'd think LOL

gem's keytar has got a vine design all over it to match her tattoos

impulse's drum set has got the soup group punk band logo! the logo design may honestly be my favourite part of the piece, i feel like i really nailed what i was going for :D

and thats it! i'll edit this post or rb with any details i missed if they come to mind! thank u for reading anyone who has made it this far <3

[pikatrainer99]

Sinnoh Trio character analysis (headcanon supportive) SPOILER WARNING FOR A POKÉSPE MANGA ARC THAT IS OVER A DECADE OLD AT THIS POINT BUT STILL, JUST IN CASE! 😅

This post is a follow-up to my post where I drew the Sinnoh Trio as TBH (autism) creatures. That is my personal headcanon and today I'm going to analyze these kids, and go more in-depth on why I hold this headcanon. I'm going to focus on one character at a time here, followed by a scene analysis of a particular important moment...so this will be a long post because these kids are SO neurodivergent and I love them so much.

First up, we have Pearl, who is my favorite of the Sinnoh Trio and the one I relate to the most. My personal headcanon for him is that he is AuDHD (both autistic and ADHD). I also headcanon him to have an anxiety disorder (specifically GAD) because he is constantly freaking out over pretty much everything (which is so relatable as someone who has GAD myself). There's so many panels that show his anxiety that I honestly can't pick ones to include here...

Anyway, on to the ADHD, Pearl exhibits many traits. He is constantly on the move and impatient and loud, and wants everything to be done immediately. He's energetic and much faster compared to Diamond and Platinum, even to the point of always being the first one to wake up every morning. This is, in my opinion, the ADHD side of him, it reminds me a lot of my ADHD brothers who act like this often. Because of these traits, I personally feel like Pearl has the hyperactive type of ADHD rather than the inattentive type, as he is shown to be not scatterbrained and is capable of focusing on whatever he's doing quite well, even able to go into hyperfocus mode at times, which is an extremely ND thing to do (and is common in both autism and ADHD). He is also the most rational of the trio, which I always found interesting that they actually gave the Barry counterpart the brain cell. So yeah, he's hyperactive, but to me he doesn't seem to have many issues with his attention span.

Now, onto Pearl's autism, which I feel more confident to talk about because I'm autistic myself and I know what to look for in terms of traits and behaviors, and the first thing I noticed with Pearl is that he has a CLEAR special interest in comedy. He's INCREDIBLY passionate about it, he's the one who decided that he and Diamond should become a comedy duo, he's the one who writes all their scripts and all their sketches, he's the one who always initiates practice time, and he's DEFINITELY the one who takes it the most seriously out of the duo, to the point where he had (what seems like to me) a legit meltdown about how Diamond didn't stick to the script and how awful their performance in the comedy competition was because of it, complete with yelling, nearly bursting into tears, and being afraid that Diamond was breaking the promise they'd made to become comedians all the way back when they were 4 years old. Looking back on it now, I think THAT was his biggest problem with the whole situation and what caused him to completely explode like that in the first place, because once Diamond reassures him that he's not breaking the promise, Pearl IMMEDIATELY cheers up and tells him "No use moping about today then!" when that was EXACTLY what he was doing just seconds ago. He then initiates practice time for NEXT MONTH'S comedy competition, his mind ALREADY hyperfocusing on their next opportunity...and this is their INTRODUCTION SCENE! This all LITERALLY happens within the first few pages of volume 1 of the DP arc! Here's the scene I'm talking about.

Also in regards to his special interest in comedy, there's something he does with Diamond that I've gotta talk about...and that's using the comedy routines as their own special way of communicating. They use it almost as if it's their own language, they use it to process things, they use it to give hints to Platinum when she's battling, they even use it when they meet someone new as kind of a judge of their character (in the minds of these children, if they make the person laugh, the person can be trusted, if not, stay away...that kinda thing). He even outright tells Platinum that he uses it to communicate through rhythm. I always found it interesting how they used the comedy like that, and it definitely helps with my belief that it is in fact, a special interest for them, as special interests do actually be like that, I speak from experience. Here's some examples of this usage of the comedy routines.

Another thing about Pearl that I noticed is he's REALLY not good at communicating how he's feeling or what's on his mind. He also is (brutally at times) honest, speaks his mind, and doesn't sugarcoat things. He can come off as rude and bossy because of this, even though he's really a good kid. This is something I relate to because I'm the same way, I also struggle with communicating my thoughts and feelings, and I'm also brutally honest, speak my mind and don't sugarcoat things. I have been perceived as rude and bossy so many times in my life it's not even funny. Another thing I find relatable about Pearl is that he can't lie to save his life (neither can I), here's a good example of such a moment.

(Uh-huh...SUUUURRRREEEE ya did, Pearl XD)

Also, while we're on the topic of expression, Pearl is VERY hyperexpressive, which is once again, very much an ND thing (I am hyperexpressive a lot of the time myself)...he almost always reacts to basically anything in an over-the-top, exaggerated way, compared to Diamond and Platinum's more calm and composed approach to things...I'm seriously thinking of doing a post of all of my favorite Pearl expressions because he's got so many great ones!

Pearl seems to exhibit low empathy (a stark contrast to Diamond's hyperempathy), but he really does care about his friends and will even help wild Pokémon. The wild Luxio that he helped in the chapter titled "Extreme Luxio" is one of my favorite Pokémon in the whole manga and his dynamic with it is very wholesome. He figures out that it's being ostracized by its pride because of the fact that it's disabled - its claws are too short, which makes it harder for it to communicate with the others in its pride. Pearl helps it out, and even says to the others, "Listen all of you, it's got a disability, and can't communicate as clearly as the rest of you! That's no reason to reject it!" He was quite angered by this situation and when you put my headcanon into perspective here, it's quite easy to see why. But anyway, point is, he went out of his way to advocate for and help a disabled Pokémon, and it leads to one of the best Trainer/Pokémon bonds in the series in my opinion, as the Luxio comes back later, now a Luxray and the leader of its pride...and decides to become one of Pearl's Pokémon. That moment is so sweet and wholesome and I'll just leave the picture of their reunion here for you guys. Look at them hug! They're so happy to see each other again!

Pearl also seems to have hypersensitive hearing (as do I), as demonstrated when he hears someone who's basically lost his voice calling out for help from a ways away.

He also experienced what I can't help but percieve as sensory overload in the Old Chateau when all the Gastly were hovering around the place making vibrations that were so loud it shook the room and it overwhelmed him a lot. I get it Pearl, that would be too much for me too...just look at his reactions here, he's clearly in pain.

I also sometimes can't help but feel like Pearl is unaware of his own strength, like when he hits Diamond in their comedy routines...I get the feeling that he doesn't quite understand that he's hitting Diamond way too hard, as he seems shocked and taken aback when Diamond finally stands up to him and tells him he's not happy with everything he's been doing lately. Diamond makes it a point to make Pearl aware of how much getting smacked by him hurts...all I can say is, good for Dia, but judging from Pearl's reactions to his best friend's words...oof...just look for yourselves...

My takeaway from this scene is that Pearl was being made aware of all this for the first time, and not only felt like a bad friend, but also, he was once again afraid that Diamond would leave him...which he really REALLY didn't want, and I totally get why, considering how long they've been friends and how much like brothers those two are (though Pearl is SO parentified during their journey it's insane and it's another HUGE stressor for him which does NOT do his anxiety any good). And now that I've decided to open THAT can of worms, I might just do a post about it as well. Because...yeah it's not good considering the fact that HE IS 12!!! Still very much A CHILD!!!

At least Pearl learns from his mistakes, which I really love his development. After his and Diamond's fight, he learns to mellow out a bit (that says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about his anxiety though). You can really tell that losing Diamond's friendship...that is one thing he absolutely DOES NOT want, and he makes a conscious effort to improve his treatment of him. He starts by not hitting Diamond in their comedy routines anymore, and even letting him come up with his own joke instead of always doing it himself and forcing his own ideas onto him. While he still yells a lot, it's mostly out of worry for his friends now rather than pure anger towards them. He even learns how to put himself in Diamond's shoes at one point, during his fight to protect Azelf from Team Galactic. I love this moment btw, it's a great moment of realization for him.

All in all, in my opinion, Pearl is an amazing AuDHD character who goes through a great character arc (and unfortunately, a trauma arc as well, as per usual with PokéSpe protags...there's NO WAY he doesn't have PTSD after all he went through in both the DP and PT arcs, I refuse to believe he's fine after all that), and I absolutely wholeheartedly love this child like he's my own son. Now for the next member of the Sinnoh Trio...Diamond!

Diamond, in my opinion, is EASILY a hyperempathic autistic child...his Dexholder title is literally "The Empathizer" and he is associated with Mesprit, the Pokémon known as the Being of Emotion. He is the only member of the trio with more than one special interest from what I can see. His are comedy (which he shares with Pearl, but his interest is to a lesser extent than Pearl), cooking (which he's extremely good at and takes very seriously), and a TV show called Proteam Omega (which his enthusiasm for it is way too adorable honestly).

Diamond is the most impulsive member of the trio, which like how they gave the Barry counterpart the brain cell, I find it interesting that they made the Lucas counterpart the impulsive one. He possesses a strong sense of justice and wants to do what he believes is right, including stand up to Cyrus, much to Pearl's dismay (this was actually the catalyst for their big fight in volume 4). He is very intuitive, his emotional intelligence is mostly intuition to him and he's also much, MUCH more perceptive than he lets on, for example he knew the whole thing with him and Pearl being Platinum's bodyguards was a misunderstanding from the beginning, but he didn't say anything about it because he was enjoying their time together and didn't want it to end. Here's that scene where he reveals he knew all along.

Diamond is a very calm, laid-back, "go with the flow" kind of kid. But I think this is because he's constantly feeling A LOT...he's extremely empathic, so he picks up on others' emotions easily and it happens so much he just keeps it all in and resorts to being incredibly calm throughout it all. When he DOES get upset or serious though, he's like a whole different person. He's hard to anger, but he is absolutely capable of getting angry. His anger though, is the tranquil fury kind. He's not explosive like Pearl, but rather, he gets much more serious and intense. Here's an example of angry Diamond.

(He angy boi.)

Diamond is also an easy crier, of the Sinnoh Trio, he's the one who is the easiest to bring to tears...which I can't stand...everytime any of these three cry it breaks my heart...and we'll talk about the scene that's the biggest offender of that soon. I guess what I'm trying to say is, Diamond is the one who's most in tune with his emotions, compared to Pearl and Platinum, who struggle with that. It makes sense though considering his hyperempathy. Also, can I take a minute to mention that he has the type of big eyes that are similar to the TBH creature...? Yes...? Okay. He does. I saw a post about this recently and it's so true! His eyes are so similar to TBH it's not even funny! And it makes total sense too, that's the best part!

Diamond is more of a pacifist than Pearl and Platinum. He's a pure, sweet soul who can do no wrong. He doesn't like conflict, he much prefers to make people smile instead. I love this about him, I don't think there's a PokéSpe protag that actually acts their age as much as Diamond does. In my opinion Diamond is a precious autistic bean and I absolutely love him like a son as well. Now for the final member of the Sinnoh Trio...Platinum Berlitz!

Platinum is definitely a masker, she's incredibly good at passing for NT (probably because of her upbringing). But there are definitely cracks in that mask that I've picked up on. First, her special interest, which is learning and experiencing new things. She says that back home she always read a dozen books a day, but seeing her actually experiencing the things she'd read about and having so much fun is great, she throws herself wholeheartedly into everything she tries, it's honestly adorable. She is also a bad liar, though she at first "lies" all the time, even though Pearl sees right through it and catches her everytime. Here's some examples.

Platinum is a stimmer. Plain and simple. She moves her arms up and down really fast when she's excited about something, and it's often accompanied by her saying "New experiences! New experiences!" in a sing-song voice.

(Why is she so adorable?!)

She is also an infodumper...a MASSIVE infodumper...just look at this scene with Thorton as just one example.

Platinum is also not the best with words, and finds that writing is the most effective way for her to organize her thoughts and feelings, as well as communicate them (relatable). She says so herself in volume 5, after finding out the truth that Diamond and Pearl are not her real bodyguards, and the scene of her reading the letter is so wholesome I love it so much!

Another thing I've noticed with Platinum is that she is a mimicker (something I myself did A LOT as a child), despite all her attempts to deny it. She often copies things she sees the others doing, even mimicking...SMACKING HERSELF...at one point, as seen here, complete with quietly saying to herself "Stop it! Stop it!"

She also has the capability to hyperfocus, particularly on details (when she thought that Diamond and Pearl were her bodyguards because green and red scarves were what she was told about them and since the boys had green and red scarves she immediately latched on to that specific detail despite everything else about them screaming that they're just kids). She also hyperfocuses when she's playing the slot machines in the Veilstone Game Corner in what is probably one of my favorite scenes in the manga, it's so funny! Because of that intense focus though, she is INCREDIBLY good at the slot machines which is hilarious to me considering she is like the richest person in Sinnoh and yet she still becomes addicted to gambling. I dunno, that scene is just funny, okay? I mean, look at her! She's so hyperfocused on it and it's just great!

Platinum is my favorite rich girl character in any media ever, and the fact that she's autistic coded in my opinion really helps with that as well. But she's also just a sweetheart who loves learning things and is just such a precious child. They're all precious children and I love them all so much. They are my fictional children and I would die for them.

Now, time for the scene that gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME...the scene where they split up to try and protect the three lakes. Pearl goes to Lake Valor, Diamond to Lake Verity, and Platinum to Lake Acuity. On their first morning separated from each other, they wake up and realize everything is so different now that the Pokédex isn't beeping. They all talk to themselves about their morning routine, Pearl gets up first, and is always the first in the lobby, then Platinum comes down afterwards, then Diamond comes after that...and the Pokédex always beeps to let them know that everyone's there together...but now it's not making a peep. Once they realize that, they all start crying and breaking down...and it's heartbreaking to read every single time. Just look at these poor kids...

Taking my headcanon into account here, I see this scene as not only being sad that they're separated from each other, but also the stress of their routine being broken for the first time since their journey started. The way they all recite step by step how their morning routine always went when they were together, and then just start breaking down when the realization hits that everything's different now...yeah, I relate to that feeling, if my routines are broken, I get real thrown off, recite how it's supposed to be, and then break down...it's very similar to what the Sinnoh Trio are experiencing in this scene. I would analyze more scenes but this post is already way too long as it is, so I'll leave it at just this one.

Well, that's it for my headcanon supportive analysis of the Sinnoh Trio from PokéSpe! These three are my favorite characters in the manga and this headcanon is one I will hold till the day I die. My two main beliefs I hold about these kids are this headcanon, and "Do Not Separate Them!"

I hope you all can understand where I'm coming from with all this headcanon stuff. Also, headcanon deniers, you STAY AWAY from this and do not interact with this! I know it's not canon, that's why it's called a HEADcanon...I don't force my headcanons onto other people, I just talk about them, so I don't need headcanon deniers forcing their "canon" beliefs onto me!

Thank you for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed this analysis! Please feel free to let me know how I did in the comments, and if you support this headcanon and think I missed anything, please let me know what I missed! This is only my second time doing this in my life after all, so I'm not used to this kinda stuff and I'm pretty nervous about it honestly.

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

Picture this: Pearl going out to random forests and putting a ton of leaves in her gem, then bringing them back to the temple cave so that Rose can have really big piles of leaves to jump in. (But not inside the temple itself because then the leaves would get everywhere) 🍁🍂🍁🍂🍃🍂🍁🍁🍂🍁🍁🍂🍁🍂🍂🍁🍃🍁🍂🍁🍁🌿🍁🍂🍁🍁🍂🍁🍂🍂🍂🍁

i love the idea of pearl helping rose heal her inner child. i mean, in a gem sense. pearl has a good memory & pays attention to small details. in the movie she recalls pink playing in her garden for ages & in now we’re only falling apart, some specific moments that she remembers include rose throwing flower petals in the air and chasing butterflies. she mentions in three gems and a baby that “we never were kids.” she wished rose could have felt safe in their earlier years & knew how much rose admired humanity & childhood.

pink was incredibly playful & so was rose, but especially before the rebellion. in the kindergarten scene in now we’re only falling apart, she acts a lot like steven did in the early seasons. rose never lost her childlike wonder completely, but she definitely lost some after the war. self blame & guilt & grief & white’s please-stop-helping-them-you’ll-only-make-things-worse at the back of her mind.

pearl’s smart and she knows a lot about rose, she would notice this. sometimes when rose was quieter than usual, she’d sketch something & get some colouring pencils so that rose can colour, because she remembers the coloured pictures of the pebbles in her old room. rose & amethyst will watch the sunset on the beach & swim. there’s lots of light & they’re outside, so rose doesn’t feel trapped inside her room. later on, pearl will make her strawberry shortcake & knit something for her. pearl won’t explain why she has these ideas, but rose would find herself feeling so much better than she did at the start of the day.

but then, one random day in october, rose understands everything when pearl brings her home a big pile of leaves to jump in !

rose is so happy & her smile and laughter are so sincere, for the first time in awhile. she takes some leaves from the ground, throwing them in the air. just like the flower petals in now we’re only falling apart. she looks over at pearl, who looks so happy… and then rose gets some deja vu.

this memory means a lot to rose because it’s one of those moments when she realizes how much pearl cares for her & loves every part of her, past included. rose doesn’t say anything she’s thinking out loud (neither of them do) but she knows pearl wants her to feel safe as she brings out these pieces of her that rose thought were gone forever, pieces that were either hidden away or destroyed. & on homeworld, rose had been made to feel like she didn’t deserve to be loud & playful & enjoy things. it’s comforting because, even for a moment, her childlike wonder from before the war returns, but this time, she feels completely safe. of course she does, she’s with pearl!

thank you, phd <3

this is such a lovely headcanon that it inspired me to finish writing one of my own headcanons that i’ve had for months! i think that pearl has lots of pictures of rose from fall, too. rose in a pile of leaves, laughing with one of her eyes closed. pearl definitely has a whole photo album filled with pictures of rose & hffhfhffhjf when you sent this ask i had the picture in my head already i love this so so much

[days-until-burnout]

Chicken. Do with that what you will.

🐥🐥🐥

📧 Day 45 -

Characters - Cleo/Pearl Words - 880 Time - 30 mins Content - Hermicraft

“What is that thing?” Cleo asked, looking between the feathery thing in Pearl’s hands. White feathers, a yellow beak, a red wattle, and two black beady eyes. Pearl held it between them, like she was waiting for them to grab it as if this was an exchange. However, Cleo simply looked at it, then her, taking a not so subtle step back. 

“It’s a chicken,” Pearl said, all smiles and giddiness. Cleo raised a hand to cover her eyes from the sun beaming behind Pearl’s head, though she had no doubt Pearl could probably create light or something like that. In the back of her mind, they remembered their meeting with the Emperors all that time ago, the oddness from that Sausage guy and everything else. For now, she waved it off as Pearl continued speaking. “For you! I brought you a chicken, Cleo. Please accept this token of my friendship.”

Cleo was no stranger to shenanigans, hijinks and bits—and a random gift like this, even if live, was too suspicious.

“What’s this? You don’t want my friendship? Cleo! You hurt my feelings.”

Despite knowing her, despite knowing this situation, Cleo refused to accept the chicken. Instead, she took another step back, shaking her head as her copper curls swished in front of her shoulders. They sighed, hearing Pearl whispering reassurances to the chicken, and walked back into her base. She raised her arms to tie her hair into a messy bun, strands falling to frame her face, a very quiet wolf whistle behind her. Any other day, they would have turned and maybe gave a wink, a flirty smile, or maybe a simple look, but one thing stopped them. That damn chicken that continued to peck at her thoughts, piece by piece bringing them into a state of paranoia. 

She settled back in her chair, all her armor-stand bits sprawled out on her table in front of her. Not long after, casual footsteps entered her work-area, circling the room slowly as she grabbed their plans. As best as they could, they tried to focus on the plans, comparing the sketches against the models, the bases with wires, fingers grazing on wooden pieces that had not been sanded. Splinters grazed their fingertips, unconsciously repeating the motion, left to right, left to right, following the curvature of the wire-wrapping. Her mind pinned elsewhere, the occasional footsteps behind their chair, the quiet clucking alongside it. 

“What am I supposed to do with this chicken now?” Pearl asked suddenly, snapping Cleo out of their thoughts and finally putting the small stand down. There was no use working under these conditions, her mind so quick to distract. But it was Pearl, so of course she would be distracted, what even was the point pretending to work anyways?

“Oh, I am certain someone else would love your gift, Pearl. Have you tried that, hm?”

Pearl pouted, “But I wanted you to have it!”

With a deep sigh, Cleo pushed themselves from the chair, hands on the edge of the table as they stood up. Before she could even turn around, Pearl was already behind them, her long legs covering so much space so quickly. And when they finally turned, her momentary surprise broke with a chuckle, almost smitten as they let their guard down for a moment. 

Pearl smiled, raising the chicken a little but not offering it again, “Thought this might entice you! Sweeten the deal, you know.”

Cleo raised their brow, “Alright, alright, I’ll bite. What’s the catch, huh? Are you giving away someone’s pet? Is this one of Iskall’s Mission Possible tasks? Gift someone a pet? Or what? A prank? Are you gifting me one of my own chickens?”

Her smile was warm, Cleo thought, too earnest with sparkly eyes. And she was right too, because the room seemed to lighten up with Pearl in it despite being indoors. They sighed, hands on hips, giving her a warning look that had no effect on her. That, too, Cleo appreciated. Pearl was reckless as she was fearless, sometimes very empty-headed but definitely not someone to ignore. 

Pearl was unpredictable, Cleo decided, and they liked that. 

“Nope! Just a chicken, for you from me, a token of my honest friendship. Please accept it!” Pearl extended the bird again, and it clucked. Almost a greeting, maybe a plea. It did not matter, because Cleo finally accepted the gift with an air of defeat. Pearl only beamed, tilting her head slightly, her long brown hair sliding to one side. “Take care of it, okay? I haven’t named it, thought you would get attached to it better if you named it.”

“Mhm-huh.” 

“Okay! I will stop interrupting you then! Bye Cleo!” 

Before Cleo could reply, Pearl leaped forward and leaned down to press a kiss on their cheek, fleeting, before jumping back and practically skipping out of their base. It took a second to comprehend what happened, but by then, Pearl was long gone, only the echoes of fireworks in the distance. Cleo sighed again, looked at the door then the chicken.

“Now, what should I name you, huh?”

They shook their head, carefully taking the flower from its beak to place on her ear. The armor stands could wait, she had a chicken coop to set-up. 

🐥🐥🐥

pfft. okay. so like, idk. i have approval so i win at life. no one can hurt me

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Hey I really like your creepypasta stuff and I was wondering about general headcannons for Jane and clockwork ? Thank you!

I haven't gotten any clockwork requests yet! And i get very few Jane requests! Super excited for this one...

Thank you so much for requesting!!

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Jane

Very much into trad goth and romantic goth subcultures

Lesbian, she/her, 24 years old

5'8"

Her favorite band is She Wants Revenge

She lives in the manor, but she and jeff are kept far away from each other due to constant fights breaking out between the two

For a while, liu tried to help them work out their differences as a mediator, but that obviously didnt work

Jane, however, is actually good friends with Liu

She has a huge crush on nurse ann

I mean, who doesn't

Shes a very quiet person, generally

Very logical, ordered, scheduled

She is one of Sally's primary caretakers, along with Liu and EJ

Her ultimate fantasy is to have a date with her soulmate in a graveyard

Shes very interested in fashion, even designing some of her own fashion lines, but they are nothing more than sketches as she hasn't taken the time to learn how to sew yet

She's one of the very few creeps that keeps her distance from everyone else

She has a few close friends, namely, Ej and Liu, but other than that she doesn't really talk to anyone

She is polite and civil, but she doesn't go out of her way to be overly friendly

She is African American

Her proxy tattoo is on her thigh

I like to imagine her voice sounds like a deeper version of Amy Lee's

She likes having her nails done, and especially likes having acrylics with charms on them

Her favorite set (and the one she gets done over and over again) are black nails with silver crosses, pearls and chains

I feel like she has very intense PTSD from everything with Jeff, and refuses to be anywhere near fire, or men that she doesn't know for too long

And sure, it makes her work harder, but she's slaying so its not all that bad

As far as her work goes, she is normally used for spying and recon missions, as she is very stealthy, and even if she does get caught she can be very persuasive and manipulative

I feel like she would be the type of person to have very few tattoos and piercings

The tattoos she does have, they have meaning

For example, she has a rose on her left arm, and a daisy on her right arm, as these were her parents favorite flowers

I feel like she would use very high quality perfumes, like gucci and dior stuff

The best way to explain her signature scent is "expensive"

She is absolutely a boss bitch <333

Clockwork

Lesbian, she/her, 23 years old

5'6"

She's very butch <333

The best way i can explain her personality is Applejack from mlp

She's very extroverted and enjoys hanging out with people around the mansion

She wears so many flannels

Seriously. Someone needs to stop her from buying them

Flannels and blue jeans are her jam

I imagine that she smells like old spice, because she thinks all "female" deoderants smell too weak

Also, old spice fits her aesthetic better

Shes so gay for Jane

I feel like Jane would know at least a little about Nat's feelings

She wholeheartedly denies having said feelings though

She loves physical sport, and can often be found wrestling or sparring with another creep

As a result, she is tanned and buff

She has a septum ring, an eyebrow ring and has contemplated getting small gauges

Her proxy tattoo is on her shoulder

Other than that, i don't think she would have many other tattoos

I can see her having something like a star on her shoulderblade, or maybe a dolphin on her ankle, but thats about it

I would think that she's really close with Toby, Jane and maaaaybe Liu

Her proxy work normally consists of fast paced missions

If you need someone beat up quick, shes your girl

I feel like she would try really hard to be a plant person, but she just can't figure it out

She can also play the acoustic guitar

She only really plays it when Sally asks her too, though

When Sally first got in the mansion, Nat would help lull Sally to sleep by playing a song and singing softly by her bed

It really helped Sally warm up to the manor, and get comfortable living there

Ever since then, Sally and Nat have gotten really close, making Nat one of the first people she asks to play dolls with, asks to watch tv with, asks to dance with, etc

I feel like she would smoke every now and then, but its only to help calm her anxiety and she only does it when she knows there aren't any small children that could potentially be watching her

I feel like she would have BPD and maybe some OCD

[genderqueerfuri]

Guess who's crashing the first every GR⚡️D GALA? It's Kamen Rider Aguilera of course!

Keep on reading for Hana's outfit sketches, as well as very rough sketches for Orteca and Julio/Tamaki's outfits and a VERY LONG RAMBLE ON MY DESIGN IDEAS.

(also crossposted on twitter here)

onto the sketches! here's the original sketch of the final design, as well as a variant where the cape was much thinner and she had much longer end sleeves on her dress shirt.

i ended up scraping the long sleeves in favor of giving her the world's largest cape. the centerpiece for the cape was also meant to be a golden rose, but i wanted to pay homage to her relationship with Sakura (and also i didn't want to overwhelm with the gold) so it became a Sakura flower instead!

unfortunately, i didn't have time to fully sketch or render out Orteca and Julio/Tamaki's outfits. so instead, here are some very rough preliminary sketches!

this wasn't something i planned initially, but all three ex-deadmans ended up having some sort of corset piece (Hana with the classic corset, Orteca with a tentacle corset, and Tamaki has a metallic ribcage piece under the vest he's wearing), so i guess that's the tying accessory for all three?

they all also ended up wearing heels or platforms of some kind, but that's less thematic and more of just me thinking everyone should wear heels.

some quick notes on Orteca and Julio/Tamaki's designs:

Since Hana had the bee motif, I wanted to stick to the squid and wolf motifs for Orteca and Tamaki respectively.

For Orteca, this is mainly shown through the tentacle corset, plus the incorporation of pearls since they're associated with the ocean. i wanted his design to be equally as dramatic as the rest without doing big cape or big hat again, so backless shirt and hanging pearls it was!

For Tamaki, the highlight piece is the gigantic fringe hat because i love a good hat moment. Also I love his original deadmans outfit (sans the haircut) so much I wanted to replicate it with the hat and the ribcage corset piece.

I don't know if ripped jeans and giant punk platform shoes are appropriate for a gala but they definitely help with Tamaki's wolf motif! It's hard to see, but he also has a stag beetle belt buckle and two metal horn-like things protruding from the finger stripe gloves to pay homage to him as Over Demons.

i've never considered myself much of a fashion designer, so getting the opportunity to design some high fashion looks for my favs was super fun!

defo a big thank u to @itmethanh for putting this art event together, i'll definitely be back next year :)