#want these damn things off

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

[cozylittleartblog]

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

[musubiki]

.🖤🔄🤍.

[fuupan]

drew these for heart pirates day and uhhhh ep1115

[tubbytarchia]

Wild Life finale spoilers: It's seriously so tragic that the interesting themes and drama Wild Life was leading up to came to such a full-stop after struggling to get off the ground with all the hampering from the gimmicks

This isn't me being a girlie kicking my feet at yuri, I'm genuinely upset that Gem and Pearl didn't end up reaching any real conclusion or even any development, and based on what CC Pearl has been saying, I cant help but feel that things just didn't end up playing out the way she wanted. Remember when she said she had "plans" way back in episode 1? It feels like she's desperately trying to kickstart this at several points and especially in the last episode, only to come out of it calling herself and her finale pathetic. And that's just one example of a storybeat I wish were given the chance to go somewhere. I think what exemplifies this whole point well is Scar's rollercoaster, which didn't get a chance to be built till the finale, and even then it failed to kill anyone (aside from zombie Skizz) like he'd wanted since episode 2 before his own unceremonious death

This isn't the fault of any CCs but I do feel like the gimmicks being so intrusive can't be understated, there's nothing wrong with them in a vacuum but for anyone including the CCs seeking out a Life Series experience it's an obstacle. I'm happy for the player who won but I'm so sad that of all seasons they win the one with the least tension or meaningful viewer retention or investment in the characters. To call it underwhelming would be putting it kindly. In the end this has all just felt like bare explorations of interesting themes being presented and done, the series is over now. Nothing about Wild Life will keep me awake at night like the previous seasons aside from what COULD have been and that's really, really sad to me

[gothixm00nz]

my #1 toxic trait is that I actually really like Titans version of Jason Todd.

Like sure, he's not the best depiction of the character but god fucking dammit is it hard for me to not like him. Plus he feels a little more realistic??? Like just some fucked up kid from the streets who's broken time and time again and then manipulated and groomed by some fucking loser to be a villain????

plus he's my kind of guy

[ratatatastic]

Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...

Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)

[delyth88]

Trying to get back into writing one of my WIPs tonight. It's been so long that I had to read what I've written so far to remember where I was up to.

Now it's almost bedtime.

Sigh.

[beneathsilverstars]

the dissociaterrrr

(They're good enough at Tetris that a couple dollars in quarters will last them a decent amount of time, but sometimes they splurge and get the $12 all-you-can-play pass. The album they're listening to is harsh noise!)

[spicyraeman]

I could be having so much fun rn if I didn't fumble conversions like it's my profession

[avayarising]

No but let’s talk about the whole Apokalips thing in Our Worlds At War. Young Justice 1:35–37, Superboy 1:91, Impulse 1:89.

Kon really, really screwed up. His impulsive and insubordinate actions, expressly against Robin’s orders and in full opposition to the rescue mission they were engaged on, led directly to:

the permanent death of one team member (Slobo is not Lil Lobo even if he does have his memories, and neither are any of the other regenerated Lobos, most of whom also die; original Lobo remains dead)

the partial death of another (Bart is in a coma for over a week after experiencing the death of his speedforce duplicate)

the start of Greta’s corruption arc via Darkseid

and the torture and thorough traumatisation of the rest of team (they are held in VR worlds where they are forced to live through the deaths of their loved ones and their own deaths, repeatedly).

Tim leaves Young Justice over this. Bart stops being a hero altogether for a while.

And we never see Kon apologise.

Okay so yes he acknowledges to himself he is entirely at fault for this. He spends a whole issue agonising over what he’s done and yes, he resolves to apologise to Robin.

But he never does. He gets distracted by some fallout from the war and by Joker’s Last Laugh. Tim gets involved again in World Without Young Justice, when reality has been altered and none of them are who they should be.

And then after that, Tim, who is relieved that his identity has been revealed (something he wanted to do long ago) in a way that he couldn’t control or be blamed for, asks to rejoin the team.

And.

Kon and Cassie do this:

(I’m not blaming Snapper, Ray, or Slobo, none of whom were there when this went down even if Slobo does have the memories of it. They are just following Kon and Cassie’s cues.)

And Tim reacts like this:

Which is not the reaction of someone who has already received a heartfelt apology.

And yes, then they hug and welcome Tim back into the team. But I think Tim ends up fully internalising that his leadership (and his refusal to share his identity, like they have any right to it) is to blame for the whole debacle. And Kon lets him go on thinking that.

[quazikam]

when the fic has shuichi reach to pull down the brim of his hat only to remember it's not there and just gestures awkwardly for a moment >>>>>

[kebriones]

oh lord the "lets make a medusa retelling comic where i have the idea and you do all the work" is back. with a new sales tactic: telling me how rich we'll become.

[jonsrolling]

actually processing the fact that for the rest of my life i know i’ll probably never get to be physically affectionate with someone in a way that’s more than occasional hugs during emotional conversations or happy reunions. i can’t bring myself to be in a romantic relationship with anyone even if just for the casual intimacy but. just processing that i’ll probably always be longing for more than i have. and it’s not for any reason other than that i am myself.

[feroluce]

Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.

So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!

But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.

According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.

He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!

So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.

Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.

And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.

And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.

Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.

Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.

Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...

One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.

Gepard doesn't sleep that night.

Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.

Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.

She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.

"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.

Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.

His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?

“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.

Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”

“A plan?”

“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.

“We don't even know-”

“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.

“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.

It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.

The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.

“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-

Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”

“No what?”

“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”

Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”

Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed. 

Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.

“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”

“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.

From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light. 

The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.

He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.

Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.

Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.

Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.

In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.

Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.

He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.

He only hopes that it's enough.

[junespriince]

Winged heart au

Wally, open his front door, sees a very out of it Nightwing on his floor: finally decided to sleep like us common folks?

Dick, giggling: no, just high? I think? Are you real? Am I real? Are anyone of us real?

Wally:

Wally: oh no, not an existential crisis on my floor, that's for me to do wondering if I made the right decision and stuff. Why are you here anyways, ain't you heroes have places to go?

Dick: feel safe here, and a pretty man live here, he so pretty like, really pretty,,,, pretty.

Wally, senses DC bs they put Dick through: okay, let's uh, let's get you to bed so whatever you're on can get through your system... God, leave a family of fast healers now babysitting the to be determined human heros,,,, *picks up Dick far to easily* oh that's not good—

Next day

Dick, wakes up worried, frantic, not in his bed:

Wally, sleeping in the chair beside his bed unfortunately uncomfortable:

Dick, noticed everything still on him, nothing different, tries to leave but boy failed:

Wally, looking at Dick on the floor: finally awake Nightwing and was going to leave after I put your high ass to bed.

Dick: sorry...

Wally: save it, you want breakfast? The answer is yes, you're way too light.

Dick: uh thanks... Did we do anything?

Wally: I picked you off my floor, you passed out on the way to my bed, I tucked you in and watched you so you didn't die. Your family broke my other window, again, and my vase my mother picked out, and now you are awake. French toast or waffles?

Dick, shocked he didn't has his autonomy taken from him: um waffles.

Wally: cool, uh you can use my shower if you like, and I have these *sunglasses* Robin says the adhesive for your mask can get irritating soooo yeah, I'll make those waffles. *Leaves*

Dick:

Dick: I'm going to marry him.

Barbara, who bugged Dick so she can keep him safe: dude, the bar is in HELL.

Dick: don't care I'm wifeing him up.