#i don’t care abt being aromantic but it’s just little specific things like this that sometimes get me

[jonsrolling]

actually processing the fact that for the rest of my life i know i’ll probably never get to be physically affectionate with someone in a way that’s more than occasional hugs during emotional conversations or happy reunions. i can’t bring myself to be in a romantic relationship with anyone even if just for the casual intimacy but. just processing that i’ll probably always be longing for more than i have. and it’s not for any reason other than that i am myself.

[letsfluxshitup]

FLUX YOU MAD LAD YOU ACTUALLY DID IT!!! THE MARRIAGE CRACKFIC HYPE IS REAL AND THE REALITY DOES NOT DISAPPOINT!! i rly wanted 2 send u an ask as soon as I got the ao3 email but i held myself 2gether and actually read the current content like a Normal Person so!! This’ll be disjointed and incomprehensible but we’re both up at midnight right now so </3

Okay. Right. First of all: I love how comfortable ur writing is!! Like I know I’ve commented on it before but Techno n Quackity are just Very Comfortable with one another and there’s no stilted sort of ‘oh but it’s platonic’ clarification needed! They just genuinely feel safe in one anothers presence and that is wonderful <333

Also,, the description and use of the ‘mutually unrequited’ tag is ENDLESSLY amusing 2 me like yes,,, that’s so them,,, how did I not connect the dots before. Ur literally a genius

I love Mr. Quacks :]] his indignant protectiveness of Quackity that Big Q barely seems to notice? Him quickly registering Techno as a safe person bc of Quackity’s concern for him? Wilbur having issues with A Literal Chicken, Somehow? Mr. Quacks is my new favourite character in the Dream SMP sorry kings that really is how the cookie crumbles

I’m very satisfied by the fact that u let Quackity talk a little bit abt his issues with Schlatt!! And the way you write dialogue is so natural?? Like, Quackity doesn’t rly convey his specific issue super well bc he’s never been great at the whole feelings deal, but it’s super clear he’s trying to get across the emotional manipulation (even if Q doesn’t rly recognize it like that) and Schlatt’s obvious abuse of power over Quackity as his president AND husband. Very proud of him for his efforts :,] and Techno’s automatic response being to just go murder the man? Like YES KING LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

I don’t know how you manage to do it but you make me more invested in their friendship w/ each thing you write :,]] Quackity’s very easygoing demeanour and active expression of affection through physical gestures and pet names pairs v well with Techno’s more stoic personality that gives way to casual shows of affection and fierce protectiveness of the people he cares about?? Your characterization is literally just a dopamine factory I will never get over how good you are at dynamics aasndmdkfkd

Also I love how ur including more SBI dynamics!! Your Wilbur is friendly but still like. Vaguely Unhinged and I appreciate that you didn’t completely get rid of his Issues(tm) in favour of the family dynamic. You woke up 2day and gave us both! As a treat. And I really love how you write Tommy as a whole :] he’s a bit of a brat and the teenage vibes are ever so present but you do kind of want to give him a hug anyways. I love and care them,,,,

You’ve sparked my thoughts abt your various quacknoblade AUs again!! And also dormant thoughts abt the TMA quacknobros AU I thought briefly abt where Techno was Jon n Quackity was Martin,,,,, honestly ur ability to create brainrot is insane ily king

- Saturn 🪐

OH SATURN I GENUINELY BLEW KISSES AT MY PHONE WHEN I REALIZED THIS WAS FROM YOU. you have such a distinct way of sending asks that I knew it was you right away actually it's really funny amksmdmdkdkd ilysm

Also WOW CALLED OUT YEAH ITS MIDNIGHT YEAH WE'RE FEELING INCOHERENT ❤️

ALSO THANK YOU;;; I channel my aromantic energy into my fics by just not registering things as romantic in the slightest ❤️ I am unstoppable ❤️

Ok wait it's kinda funny bc I feel like at a time I was like "gotta make sure everyone knows this is platonic" but now I've reached this point where I'm just "if you don't get it that's on you" KSKSKSKSKDKKDF

YES THE MUTUALLY UNREQUITED TAG;;; I saw a post abt it on Tumblr, I think I tagged it as #marriage crackfic bc that's literally what it is listen;;; it fits so fucking well oh my God

YEAH YEAH MR QUACKS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. I was a bit stuck on writing for a while and then iwnas like "wait what if quackity befriends that chicken from the creepcident" and now we're here skskmdmdmdmfk

ALSO YEAH WILBUR AND MR QUACKS S RELATIONSHIP IS V IMPORTANT TO ME

I'm really really glad you like the dialogue abt schlatt. Tbh I think that's like, one of the oldest parts of the fic. I've been writing it on and off for a while now and that was one of the first things I wrote, and I still absolutely adore how it came out. Idk! That bit of dialogue just came out fucking Perfectly for me and I'm still very :]]]]!!!! About it and I'm delighted you like it too!!!!

ALSO YES TECHNO MURDER POG <3

EVERYTIME YOU COMPLIMENT MY DYNAMICS I WEEP;;; I'm just very into characters who are Very Different getting along super well ok. im super duper in love with big stoic and chaotic small and that dynamic lives in my head rent free so you KNOW I gotta write about it as much as possible

YEAAAH THAT BIT WITH THE SBI BOYS WAS A JOY TO WRITE I REALLY REALLY LIKE IT A LOT;;; also yes! Wilbur gets to be unhinged <3 as a treat! AND YES FERAL TOMMY IS SO GOOD. HE IS A TEENAGER AND HE IS READY TO THROW HANDS CONSTANTLY. I imagine rough housing is a very popular way to show affection in the sbi household and tbh I'm a bit feral as well. projecting on to tommy by making him wrestle with techno. KAKAKKSKDKDKF

Ilysm your asks are always such a treat to read I'm very :>>> rn!!!

Also idk anything about TMA but I am looking intently!!! Share your infinite wisdom!!!

[nonbinaryresource]

ive been thinking abt this for a little while & have been needing to ask someone abt it. i am nb & have always considered myself trans but recently ive not been vibing with the trans label bc i am so sick of seeing ppl exclude & invalidate nb ppl. ik that i shouldnt stop doing smth just bc other ppl r being assholes but its so tiring to see ppl constantly say how u dont belong or arent valid. srry this is long & kinda rambly i just dont really know how to feel abt it

I will directly address your ask, but I’m going to start by telling you a story about my journey with identifying as asexual and queer.

.

When I was about 11, my friends suddenly started drooling over magazines and calling people hot, and I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I did not feel whatever it is my friends were feeling.

Until I was about 16/17, this part of me remained a mystery to me and to my friends. I never had crushes, I never found people hot, I never liked complimenting people physically, I was uncomfortable with sex on TV, and I didn’t even like platonic touch. Now my group of friends were all repressed and closeted queer folk, so I didn’t have to deal with “being left behind” as my friends dated. But the later we got into high school, the more my friends began discovering and exploring their sexualities.  A freshman became a part of our friend group and was openly trans and gay. One friend came out as gay. Another as bi. They started commenting more and more about other’s looks and having crushes.

Still, there was nothing on my end. My friends used to think I was just being vague and secretive because this is what I tended to be like. I don’t think they’ve ever realized how much of it was that I truly didn’t know or understand what my lack of sexual feelings meant or that it could even mean anything. I used to just consider it a “nothingness” of myself. Until, by complete chance, I came across the term asexual. I immediately connected with it. It explained so much that I didn’t even know I needed explained.

I came out quickly after that and I was really excited and happy and proud to know who I was and what how I felt meant. My friends were great and supportive. My mom was a little ignorant but overall supportive. AVEN was great and a community for me. But if I tried to talk about it anywhere else online…

Well, the effects of how people treated me would fester for years. See, I came out as asexual before exclusionism (the specific movement of anti-aro and anti-ace erasure and gatekeeping from lgbt+ spaces) was a movement or a named thing. Yet exclusionist attitudes were exactly what I faced. My queer friends all completely accepted me as one of them and I helped co-run our school’s new GSA with the rest of them. But online, as a teen, I was facing 30+ year olds telling me I wasn’t queer and that I was just trying to seem special and that I needed to shut up about my asexuality and my experiences and that I wasn’t valid and that asexuality wasn’t a real thing and that even if asexuality was a real thing it wasn’t valid and it certainly didn’t matter.

I graduated high school and went to college and was no longer really in touch with my group of friends. I therefore completely cut myself off from any lgbt+/queer community, even though a friend invited me to join the college’s queer association. I stopped participating so much in online asexual spaces. I become wrapped up in other things.

A couple of years went by and a lot of things in my life changed. By chance, mod applications for a blog about aro and ace headcanons for a fandom I enjoyed came across my dash. I had extra time on my hands and thought I could help, so I applied and was accepted. This increased my exposure to the aspec community again and thrust me back in… just around the time exclusionism was becoming a specific and named movement of bigotry.

At the same time I resisted these ideals, I was also still hurt and unhealed from what I’d gone through as a teen. I internalized a lot of the hatred and gatekeeping. I was so hurt and so tired. I just wanted to be able to exist in peace. And people I considered myself one of were harassing me and dismissing even my biromanticism. So I struggled with my identity and my asexuality. I did not specifically become an exclusionist, but I turned my back on the lgbt+ community and spaces. I did not consider myself lgbt+ because I learned that doing so only brought pain and upset and made me feel alone and isolated. I didn’t speak a lot on exclusionism or inclusionism, but at some point I did make a plea to my fellow aspecs to just let the larger community go and be our own community and accept that maybe we could be straight. I did it out of desperation and hurt, wanting to stop feeling targeted and attacked and to stop seeing the fighting on my dash and in the tags. I just wanted us all to be happy and feel accepted and supported.

On that post, one wonderfully kind and patient person opened up a discussion with me, explaining their own hurts over exclusionism and being so damn exhausted of them and fellow aspecs being targeted and excluded and written out and not supported and feeling like they had to split their asexuality from their other queer identities and how being asexual was a part of them and how it had strongly shaped their experiences, especially with realizing and coming to terms with the other parts of their queer identity. And through their raw honesty I came to realize… I had never stopped to process the harassment I had faced and the pain and hurt that cut me so deeply.

It was a changing point for me. I realized that I had handled my pain in a bad way and had ended up lashing out at other aspecs instead of the people who were actually hurting me. I realized how much I had hurt myself and held myself back and cut myself down and dismissed parts of myself trying to fit into the box exclusionists had laid out for me, as if I could ever made them happy enough to stop harassing me and just let me exist. I cut myself down for them, but the truth is that exclusionists don’t just want aspecs “out” of the community. They want to hurt us. They want us to hurt. They want us to doubt ourselves. They want to feel strong and powerful, and they feel they can achieve this through bullying us. Perhaps some, like myself, are trying to appeal to their oppressors by pointing out another vulnerable group they could target more/instead. They are passing on hurt instead of standing up to it and so they are actually festering in hurt instead of changing anything.

Today, I am a staunch inclusionist. I understand myself and the issues aspecs face much better. I am a more compassionate person regarding the confusion and upset aros and aces have over their identity and their place in the world. I feel more stable and confident regarding my identity as an asexual - and now as an aromantic - queer person who is lgbt+.

But it was a long, hard, difficult journey to get here. It was full of a lot of turmoil. I wish I would have had a happier journey where I felt more supported and accepted, and I hope I can help provide more stability and support for future generations to not have to go through what I did.

.

My point (or one among a few, anyway) is that I deeply and personally understand how you are feeling and the decision facing you now. As someone who went through a very similar experience, my advice to you is to take care of yourself and to prioritize your mental health.

It’s okay if you can’t handle identifying as trans right now. Maybe you do need some space from the label (and definitely from the hatred and gatekeeping). Maybe you need to pull back from certain communities or blogs or discussions.

However, I will say that not identifying as trans may not bring the peace you desire. It may end up making you feel even more isolated. Not identifying as LGBT+ certainly didn’t help me. It was reactionary and it only made me feel like there were less spaces for me. That said, you may find peace in this. But I think the bigger action to take is to separate yourself from those who are saying harmful things more than to separate yourself from a label you feel really suits you. Use your block button liberally. Don’t force yourself to partake in spaces where gatekeeping is allowed or encouraged. Follow and listen to more people who are inclusive.

I think burnout like this is unfortunately pretty common. You do not have to force yourself to face this hatred or exhaustion because you think it’s the right thing to do. It’s okay to pull back and just take care of yourself. Just work on some self-care. Work on building up a community of people around you who don’t resort to bigotry and hatred and exorsexism and gatekeeping and identity policing. Engage only with what you can actually, honestly handle.

We will confront and move past this bigotry only by acting as a united front. The responsibility for improving things isn’t on any one person’s shoulders. And no one needs to be on the front lines 100% of the time, especially at the cost of their own wellbeing. Take care of yourself and rest now before you completely burn out and break down.

You do not have anything to prove, okay? I have both hope and faith that there is a lot more to your journey - a lot more good things and a lot more happiness and belonging. Take whatever time it is you need to help heal yourself and recover from the hurt and harassment that’s been plaguing you. You are important and you matter, much moreso than whatever label you use at whatever point in time. It will be okay.

I am here for you.

~Pluto

[queenofthefaces]

For character headcanons, Steven from SU?

1) sexuality hc: you know I’ve never really thought abt steven’s sexual/romantic identity, and I think it’s jus bc in terms of SU I focus a lot more on other characters with shipping, prob bc Steven and Connie is a ship I support and it’s essentially already canon, and I prefer shipping scenarios where I can explore a non-canon ship falling in love? I have very few ships where they’re already canon, even fewer where I engage in fan content w the ship if it’s canon :0

But with Steven, I think....well, maybe he’d be pan? I imagine Steven as someone who never really needed to think about his attraction, it just *was* and he just let it be/let it happen, so he wouldn’t necessarily label it hyper specifically if he labeled it at all. He’s attracted to he ends up being attracted to and doesn’t really think abt it. (Which is why I go w pan, bc for me at least a way to interpret pansexuality is jus like. Who are u attracted to? ¯\_(ツ)_/ whoever I’m attracted to)

2) otp: connverse!! The way those two are handled in the show is really wonderful ;;o;; I love how they’re close friends first, and the romantic stuff doesn’t feel like it stresses them out bc it’s smth they’re exploring together. Instead of having the pressure and fear of a crush on a friend, it’s this mutual, slowly blooming relationship of two ppl who care abt each other a lot and just want to be together in whatever way works for them

I can’t super see other ships w Steven, mostly bc his dynamic w other gems doesn’t really feel like they’re equals? Like I think I’ve seen Steven be shipped w peridot and spinel, and it feels like they’re unequal bc Steven was the one kind of....”fixing” them or he had the emotional upperhand, but with Connie they were both equals the entire time bc of how their relationship was founded (when they were both younger and just as lost/confused as each other)

(Plus I prefer those characters w other ppl lol)

And I also don’t think the show has enough development with Steven and someone like Peedee for me to think it’s believable as a ship, I just don’t know enough about peedee or his friendship with Steven, and considering how much I know abt Steven it again feels uneven—it feels odd to me for someone so uninvolved in steven’s journey to be the person I’d ship him with?

Though I can see the potential for an interesting ship in both cases, I just think connverse is the stronger contender bc of how well they were set up and developed :0

3) brotp: the relationship between Steven and amethyst developed really wonderfully and shows how much Steven has grown up ;;o;; in early seasons it felt like Steven was a little kid w a rambunctious sister who’s about a decade or two older than him—they goofed around but it wasn’t really a serious relationship between equals

And then as Steven grew older and developed further his relationship with all the gems matured—but his relationship with amethyst was recontextualized so that they’re both the underdogs together , and I love the concept that as Steven grew and learned to use his powers, he still looked to amethyst for guidance and support, which makes her feel important bc they can both support each other

Their friendship just means a lot to me ;;o;; 💕💕💕

4) notp: uh idk prob shipping Steven with garnet or pearl. With amethyst or some of the other gems (like the aforementioned spinel and peri) I can see someone having a dynamic of adult Steven + the gem and it being fine. It’s not my ship and I don’t really like shipping Steven with the gems but I can see it. But him with garnet or pearl feels really squicky to me, mostly bc those two felt much more parental in their relationship (esp with garnet) but also bc of their hangoups over home world/rose just would make a romantic relationship feel too messy for me. I personally hc garnet as aromantic, and I prefer pearl w amethyst bc I love a potential development between them where ame was someone pearl never idol worshipped and they could grow as equals

(Can u tell I love ships where the characters are equals/on the same level in terms of emotions or power? Yeah)

5) first hc I think of: hm, again this one is kinda tough bc I don’t really engage in su the same way I do other fandoms and I think it’s jus bc of how story driven it is? So, hm. It’s hard to come up with a hc that isn’t me speculating on smth that I want to come up in the future episodes or that’s already accepted canon; and I think a big reason is bc Steven has a specific identify related character arc that’s ongoing rn, if we didn’t have su future I could prob have an easier time w this but yanno

Anyways I think one hc I have is the idea that Stevens like, never been to a traditional schooling system, and he was mostly taught by Greg and Pearl. I like to imagine he wouldn’t ever really need a formal education and wouldn’t ever get one, but maybe in the future he’d get his GED online bc of legal stuff esp w his relationship to Connie (marriage, buying a home, children etc) like it would jus make things easier but I don’t think it’s necessary

Or hc that there’s weird parts of his biology he’s jus never thought of? Like he doesn’t particularly need to brush his teeth bc he’s never had a cavity and can’t actually get cavities? Or his wounds healing too quickly, esp internal injuries—like Steven who’s had internal bleeding that just goes away in five minutes w/o him noticing. And on that regard, Steven having a literally inhuman pain tolerance

6) one way I relate to this character: I don’t think I’ve really related to Steven on a personal level, except for maybe the idea of “the loved ones you looked up to aren’t perfect and your relationship with them can shift bc of that” HAJSKDKFLG

7) thing that gives me secondhand embarrassment abt him: uhhhh....,I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve really gotten secondhand embarrassment from Steven since early early seasons where he was really young and naive and a little dumb. Now I’m just.....wincing in sympathy for him bc he desperately needs to talk to someone. Boy needs therapy BADLY

8) cinnamon roll or problematic fave: he’s a PURE CINNAMON ROLL. As in, he’s definitely got flaws, of course, but I think in interacting w him it’s more along the lines of “he’s a good person with a lot of issues and flaws to work through eventually”

I think I take this question as like, how do I prefer to portray him? And how tough am I on him w characterization and stuff.

(Send me a character and I’ll fill out one of these hc questionnaires)

[planetbass]

tell me all abt arospec moomin characters Cameron just go wild

oh FUCk alright.

What arospec identities do they have?

snufkin: demiromantic, definitely. it takes a lot for him to get a crush and it basically never happens. which is precisely why he has only ever liked moomintroll.

little my: aromantic. doesnt know what the fuck a crush is. might say she has one or pretends to like someone because she thinks that she’s just supposed to, and might daydream about the idea of romance for the same reason (like in that one ep, yknow the one, where she says she and snufkin should date). but really she was just trying to conform to society’s expectations and is aro as fuck.

the joxter: grayromantic. this guy lives to sleep and fuck w authorities. doesn’t really pay attention to/care for romantic gestures, but acknowledges the possibility of having Feelings. he basically goes around not giving a fuck ever but had one (1) Free Fall In Love coupon that lasted forever upon use. 

How proud of being arospec are they?

snufkin: he’s just chilling. kind of had a crisis when he realized he liked moomin, though.

little my: loud and proud, as mymbles are. 

the joxter: also chilling.

Do they prioritize their arospec identity over any others?

snufkin: in a sense, yes. it goes hand in hand with his nomad identity, living freely and not becoming too attached to people or things. 

little my: yeah, i think it’d be her strongest identity, the one she feels most attached to. little my said feral aro rights

the joxter: nah, i wouldn’t think so. he wouldn’t really go for labels, either. i see him as a guy that would be like, not prone to romance/doesn’t seek it out, but also acknowledges the possibility. like i said, he’s got One coupon and is going to use it wisely. 

Are they out? If so, how did they come out, and to whom?

snufkin: it’s a package deal with his general wandering philosopher character. so basically, yeah. it’s an easy assumption to make about him and not something he feels the need to come out and say. 

little my: yes. she doesn’t care what people think about her and therefore is not afraid to announce it whenever necessary. 

the joxter: he’ll say something about it if asked. maybe in an indirect way. to joxter it’s less of an identity and more of just how he is. 

How do they feel about romance? Romance-favorable? Romance-neutral? Romance-repulsed? Or does it fluctuate?

snufkin: fluctuates a lot, depending on his mood. like i said, goes hand-in-hand w his entire schtick – he can easily start to feel trapped and forced into things, to which he becomes more repulsed and reclusive. when in a good mood, he’ll be more favorable. (that’s not to say he’ll always be repulsed when in a bad mood - sometimes when he’s upset, hugging moomintroll will always do the trick). 

little my: when it comes to herself, repulsed. doesn’t want anything to do with it. when it comes to couples around her, she’s mostly neutral and can deal w it. if couples are being too lovey-dovey, though, she quickly tells them to stop it cuz it’s gross and makes her uncomfortable. 

joxter: neutral-favorable. might be heard saying the phrase, “i’m not one for romance usually, but you never know.” if someone else shows interest in him he’d be quick to shut them down (in the friendliest but most curt way possible, i’m sure, as he’d probably immediately lay down for a nap to end the discussion). knows and accepts the fact that he may well fall in love with someone, though doesn’t expect it to happen.

Have they ever experienced arophobia? If so, how?

snufkin: for whatever reason, people like to pressure him into finding/forming relationships. or assume he has a partner. if he tells him that he’s not interested in such a thing, it’s quickly dismissed. “you’ll find someone you’ll want to settle down with someday” is a common one. which makes snufkin very mad for many reasons. 

little my: will often get comments from adults about how she’ll “never find someone” if she acts “like that” (as in her regular feral “”unladylike”” character), to which she exclaims GOOD, because she wasn’t looking for someone anyway. she has also mauled snork on several occasions for similar reasons. 

the joxter: not really. the fact that he’s super lowkey about it combined with his general openness to romance prevents people from reprimanding him about it (or at least his aro identity specifically - he still gets berated for being lazy, unhelpful, and uninterested in just about everything). 

How do they show their arospec pride?

snufkin: in a really low-key way, if at all. perhaps he writes a song about it, but doesn’t really tell anyone what inspired it.

little my: by Making A Point whenever possible. 

the joxter: by ignoring any person who shows interest in him, ever

Do they actively try to combat amatonormativity in their daily lives or elsewhere? If so, how?

snufkin: yes. when the opportunity presents itself he will preach about how you shouldn’t need a partner to feel fulfilled and yadda yadda

little my: absolutely. will go off whether it’s necessary or not.

the joxter: he’ll make his point but not spend too much effort doing so. he’s not gonna waste time and energy arguing about something. 

Was it easy for them to label themselves arospec, or was there a long period of questioning? How many labels did they have to try before landing on the one they use now?

snufkin: he’s heard and tried many labels on his travels. he doesn’t actively like to label himself, of course, but it’s helpful to go through that process anyhow. it’s something he didn’t realize wasn’t normal. he thought it was weird that people fell in love so easily, and with people they hardly even knew. upon this realization he got mad that he was the one forced to label himself as different. he tends to stay away from labelling himself because it’s against his general beliefs, but puts demi in his back pocket just in case. 

little my: i think so, yeah. she’d discover the label and quickly realize, “oh yeah, that’s me.” it may not have been immediate but it wasn’t a slow process, either. 

the joxter: goes most of his life content without having a label. one day he finds out there’s a word and he’s just like “yeah” and that’s that.

Would they be interested in a QPR? Why or why not?

snufkin: i think so, yeah. he’d have one with moomintroll if he wasn’t comfortable with saying he’s “dating” or had a “boyfriend.” partner is a very suitable word to snufkin and people can make of that what they will. i think to snufkin, a qpr is basically the same thing as his idea of dating, just in terms he’s more comfortable with.

little my: perhaps. most likely not. she can’t imagine herself like that with anyone, really. she loves and cares for her friends/family but can’t see herself as that intimate with someone.

the joxter: i don’t think he’d see the point, since he’s open to romantic partners.

Final thoughts?

i love them and thank you for giving me this chance to go ham

send me a character for aro headcanons