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shadowed-dancer · 9 months ago

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I watched the Netflix atla and I have thoughts

I will break them down into positives, negatives, and assorted, but if you want the short version: it's better than the M Night Shyamalan film.

Positives

I like that Zuko's crew is the 41st division. It's a cute detail, and honestly I had always wondered how they chose soldiers to accompany an exiled prince

I actually liked Suki's characterization. Like yeah, I believe that girl has never had contact with outsiders. And I think her chemistry with Sokka is great! I can't wait for her to come back and see more of the world (her "thank you for bringing the world to me" line is cute when you consider he brought her an air, water, and fire bender... less cute that her village almost got destroyed but still)

Hot take: I don’t mind that they cut Sokka’s sexism arc. It was minimal in the original series to begin with, and with the pacing of the Netflix series it would have been pointless and rushed. I truthfully believe that if they hadn't mentioned the cut beforehand, 5 people at most would have noticed it was gone

Wow Koh the Face Stealer is SO MUCH WORSE in live action. So gross. His face BLINKS. 10/10 to whoever designed that, I hated it and recognize that it was perfect. I look forward to seeing it in my nightmares (also I don't mind the change of "don't show any expression". It still works)

Gyatso telling Aang that it wasn't his fault and that he wouldn't have been able to do anything was so sweet and important to me, especially with all the other adults in this series being turned into Grade-A assholes. It’s been a while since I watched the entire original series but were the adults THIS mean about it in the original? I know the occasional random townsperson would say "you abandoned us" but I don’t remember people like Bumi or THE OTHER AVATARS blaming him like that (I know this is the positive section but just to be clear, the positive is the Gyatso scene. Turning everyone else so mean will be touched upon in the negatives)

All of Gyatso's scenes were actually amazing. I cried. Also finding his body hit so much harder in live action.

Leaves from the Vine playing during Lu Ten's funeral and then again when Iroh chose to go with Zuko... I tearbended HARD at that one

I think they did a good job merging three story lines into Omashu. I know it may bother some fans, but for the time they had I thought combining all of those together within the city was clever. Plus, since we see the city get taken at the end of the season, we feel more invested since we spent more time there! (I'm also glad they didn't destroy the Northern Air Temple... that always bothered me)

The sets are lovely. They look so similar to the original show and it makes me happy to simply see these places come to life. I got so giddy seeing Omashu you don't even understand

I like the interpretation of Aang’s tattoo. That was actually the one thing I liked from the M Night Shyamalan film (intricate designs rather than a straight blue block) and I feel this is an even better interpretation (the designs are more subtle until he lights up)

The wink and nod to the great divide (and other episodes like the pirates) was cute. I do wish we got to see some adventures of the kids bonding, but boy am I glad they didn't feel the need to adapt the great divide

I liked that they sang secret tunnel a little early. The second the mechanist brought up the secret tunnels I burst into song on instinct, so it's only fair the characters do the same

I liked Zuko having a notebook on the avatars. Of course he would have made that. And I liked that Aang used it as a reference

I liked how they teased the "my cabbages!" line before giving us the real thing. Just a fun thing for fans of the original

Negatives

The first episode had so much exposition it actually felt exhausting. Also Zuko really came out of the gate swinging with his motivation, eh? No nuance or slowly unveiling why he wants to capture Aang? Ok...

Ozai confused me. After finishing the season I believe Ozai's motivation was "sacrifice the weak to become strong, use Zuko to fuel Azula to be better" but it felt so confusing to get there. There was a point where I thought he genuinely wanted to see Zuko grow and find the avatar, and while it's fine for Zuko to think that, it felt weird for us to be jerked around like that (especially the in-between point where it feels like he prefers his banished son to his spy-catching daughter).

I also don’t like the way he acts with Azula (again, I know it's an act, but it's a bothersome change). He calls her performance below average. What happened to "she’s a true prodigy, just like her grandfather for whom she was named"? When characters like Mai and Zhao have to tell us "he's just playing games" it feels like they are telling rather than showing. "She's a true prodigy" SHOWS US he has a very obvious favourite. "He's playing with you" TELLS US that he's lying, and we therefore need to just accept that Azula is actually his favourite even though nothing he has done supports that

I don’t like that Aang was heading North due to a premonition from Kyoshi. I always liked how "the avatar must travel the world and find their own teachers in order to care for the world". Why not let him look for teachers? It enforces the idea of the avatar needing to care for all nations in order to protect all nations. I feel like it was supposed to go for this new direction of “the avatar must do it alone” but unfortunately I don't like that message as much

I mentioned in the positive section, but so many of the characters are weirdly mean (specifically the adult characters). I feel like they are trying to go for a message like "childlike mentality isn’t bad and it’s this innocence that will succeed where adults failed" but it just comes across as every grownup but Gyatso being the worst. Why are Kyoshi and Kuruk yelling so much and blaming Aang for everything? I feel like the goal will ultimately be to prove them wrong, but I do not like this characterization

Zuko’s scar needed to be SO MUCH WORSE. Something I love about the original is that every time we look at Zuko, we get a horrific reminder of what kind of person the Fire Lord is. It didn't just make his skin a little red, his eye is stuck in a permanent squint. His ear is shrivelled. You can tell that it was BAD. Here? He could cover it with makeup if it bothers him that much. Where's the texture? Where's the ear and eye damage? Sometimes it looks more like a birthmark than a serious injury. At the very least, take away his eyebrow!

Sokka and Katara’s being trapped in the spirit world was lowkey a little dumb but I get what they were going for (it's more urgent than them needing to suck on frogs). It just makes it seem worse when Aang is sitting there chatting with Zuko about his brushes. Like I loved the conversation but the fact that Sokka and Katara's lives were in danger (along with the villagers) makes Aang seem weirdly dismissive in that moment

Also... I just realized while typing this, but did they give us an ending to Hei Bai being in pain? Did I completely forget the resolution to that or was it not shown?

I don't like that Zuko chose to fight in the Agni Kai. Seeing him on the ground begging forgiveness and THAT'S the kid Ozai scars and banishes is way more impactful than "he fought but didn't go all out"

This shit went off the rails in episode 7. Why is Yue a fox who just chills in the spirit world? What happened to Tui and La? Push and pull? Yin and Yang? I got confused somewhere along the way

Am I the only one who felt the Yue and Sokka kiss came out of nowhere? She literally said she called off her betrothal when she was 16 (before meeting Sokka) because that dude wasn't the right guy. But then the kiss immediately after implies Sokka is the right guy??? The guy you didn't know existed??? Or are we supposed to infer that she fell in love with him in the spirit world? Either one is so bad pleasssseee

I infinitely prefer Zuko trying to save Zhao and Zhao choosing to die out of sheer stubbornness, compared to Iroh killing Zhao to save Zuko. Like yeah, he'd do anything for Zuko, but I felt that crossed a line (and was less impactful)

Assorted Thoughts

They mentioned the mother of faces, are we gonna see Zuko’s mom get addressed at some point? Or was that just a wink and a nod for fans who know?

The kids are pretty good actors but Katara’s sometimes feels like she's… in a school play. For lack of a better description. She's not bad, it just doesn't always feel natural or as expressive as she could be

Yue's actress on the other hand... look I don't like insulting child actors but her performance was not my favourite

Meanwhile, I loved the casting for Zuko and Aang. I like this slightly-less-angry Zuko, and Aang's actor has such a sweet face that it hurt me to see him sad

I wish we got to see an Agni Kai between Zuko and Zhao. Simply because establishing it early helps introduce us to this idea. It makes it more impactful when Ozai declares Zuko must fight, since we now know what that entails

I feel like the series is at its best when it's doing it’s own thing (the Gyatso scenes, Suki's new characterization, Lu Ten's funeral) and is at its weakest when it's trying to copy the original

#atla #atla live action #natla #zuko #aang #sokka #katara #azula

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mxystan · 3 months ago

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recently revamped my "galaxy wangxian brainlist" all the way back from 2019. it's mostly mandopop. see below for annotations with references to specific lines from the novel, color coded for your convenience, because i truly went insane that summer

被遺忘的時光 - 蔡琴 (cover by sodagreen)

"Emperor's Smile! Hey, how about I give you a jar, and you pretend like you never saw me?"

Who is it knocking at my window? Who is it plucking at my strings?

梅西好朋友 – Crowd Lu

"Lan Zhan, let me ask you this: you really do find me vexing, don't you?"

And if we could become friends by the end of the week Like, the best of friends- Then we'll make sure the apocalypse never comes 'Cause it can't until I've taken you out to play!

Neptune - Sleeping at Last

"Wei Ying: you really are a vexing person."

I'm only honest when it rains An open book, with a torn out page And my inks run out I wanna love you but I don't know how

羨雲 - HITA

"You don't know how to say it? Fine, then how about this. If you can't say it, then can you sing? Sing a song for me, alright?"

If I trade a lifetime of wanting for just a glance in return I'll not be bereft once this dream ends

還是會害怕失去你 - Enno Cheng

"Come back to Gusu with me."

You said nothing lasts forever But have you already forgotten? I'm still afraid of losing you

Transcontinental, 1:30 A.M. - Vienna Teng

"When we arrived, you were vacantly sitting on a rock within the cave. Wangji was holding your hand, transmitting spiritual energy to you, lowly murmuring to you the entire time."

Wait, don’t let this line go slack I want to bring you back to where I know you Oh, wait, don’t give up on this yet I just want you to let you let me hold you

It Will Come Back - Hozier

"And from beginning to end, you only repeated a single phrase to him: Get lost!"

Don't let me in with with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

玉仔的心 - Enno Cheng

To drink that which he had drunk, to suffer the hurts he'd suffered. To this day, this wound has scabbed over for 13 years.

Your unchanging desire drowns in the chaos of the city But you still hold onto your jade rabbit heart

何以歌 - Aki阿杰

A specific melody rose to the top of his mind. He calmed himself, and played that different phrase.

Thinking time has already forgotten me I am but a melancholy traveller on this earth But just who has left sentiment behind? The cold breeze that blows over the old city Once again resounds like summons from a flute And in this moment, just what is this song for?

Funny Little Frog - Belle & Sebastian

"How strange, that such a boring person could make me so happy!"

I had a conversation with you at night It's a little one sided but that's alright I tell you in the kitchen about my day You sit on the bed in the dark changing places With the ghost that was there before you came You've come to save my life again

Shrike – Hozier

"I remember now, Lan Zhan. Just like this. I... did carry you before."

I was hushed by your warmth, thus transformed By your grounded and giving and darkening scorn Remember me, love, when I'm reborn As the shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn

Eric’s Song - Vienna Teng

"Lan Zhan! Back then, at the cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter, what was the name of that song you sang for me?"

Strange how I fit into you There's a distance erased with the greatest of ease Strange how you fit into me A gentle warmth filling the deepest of needs

月光備忘錄 - Crowd Lu

"If he catches me, I'll..."

Would you still indulge me in times of danger? You'll stay with me, quietly embracing me Truth lies in your hand holding onto my emptiness The moonlight protecting us as we sway to its rhythm

Pink in the Night - Mitski

"I adore you, love you, want you, can't bear to be without you, whatever you."

It's like a summer shower With every drop of rain singing "I love you, I love you, I love you!”

聽見下雨的聲音 - Jay Chou

Somewhere along the way, the soft rains had become a torrent. Outside of the Guanyin Temple, the lanterns had long been extinguished, drenching their surroundings in pitch black. Wei Wuxian could not make a sound. In the darkness, Lan Wangji had already drawn him into a fierce embrace, stopping his mouth.

So finally I hear the sound of rain And the world wakes up around me From the beginning, you've been within reach Quietly, steadily, you've been by my side

起風了 - 吳青峰

Just like before, Wei Wuxian smiled as he called to him, and he turned to look back. From that moment on, he could never have averted his eyes again.

And finally I've returned my youth to him Along with the midsummers played from my fingertips Every movement of our hearts gone with the wind

忘羨 – 吳恩，余夏

忘羨一曲遠，曲終人不散。

No matter when our song ends, let us not separate again.

#mdzs #wangxian #txt #this is truly the hardest ive ever gone on a playlist. i need whatever possessed me that summer to come back #i remember insisting on keeping a rain motif running to represent lwjs feelings. and i was so real and correct for that i was a genius #this is truly one of those things where if youre monolingual youre just gonna have to trust me. trust my vision. and my taste in music

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moononmyfloor · 2 years ago

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Not many Cdramas caught nor retained my attention in the 2nd half of 2022, but the few I did watch were pure gems. However I didn't think I have enough entrees to fill 30 days with, so I cut the number down and also conjoined some. Without further ado here we go!

My C-Drama Review of the 1st Half of 2022

(Concept loosely based on anniedelavoye' s. I did hers last year but then realised I simply cannot submit only one entry per day NOR wait a whole year to do a review. I do things by bulk 😆. So I broke the reviewing into two halves so I can do this with fresher memory and also more dramas will get the spotlight.)

1. First Drama I finished in the 1st half of 2022

Love Between Fairy and Devil! Lots of praises have already been sung about this show, I don't have anything new to add.🤭

2. New Favourite Actor/Actress

Zhai Zilu, Zhou Dawei, Wang Youjun, Chang Long.

All caught my attention this year, all very promising! I hope they have successful years ahead! (And please don't end up being evil people :( 🙏)

3. Best Performance

Wang Xiao and Yan Bingyan as Zhou baba and mama in Examination for Everyone. These two veteran actors brought this two characters and their dynamic to life SO realistically and endearingly, you could almost touch it. It was like seeing my own parents onscreen. Mad respect.

4. Favorite Drama OST

This is an odd answer but the first few seconds of the opening theme song of Fei Teng Ren Sheng captivated me. I was like: "Hold on. That's one BEAUTIFUL melody?" And I replayed and replayed that part over and over. The rest is good too but it was really the part before the verse that I felt was quite unique.

I also liked this song from Side Story of Fox Volant.

5. Most Watched Genre

I think I should remove this question here onwards. I never pick a drama by genre, I have no aversion to almost any. I do have a preference to Period dramas and Slice of Life but they are not really taken to account if everything else about the story doesn't appeal to me. So this question goes nowhere and indicates nothing in my case.

6. A Drama I Dropped

Light Chaser Rescue. Its first episode was one of the most annoying I have ever seen in my life. The ML cool-hero driving and the FL sassy-heroine force hitching a ride and the entire sequence of the car crash rescue had me 🙄. A show either has to own up the wackiness or should be full on realistic, for me. This was neither here nor there.

7. Favorite Character of 2022 2nd Half

I don't think there was anyone I fell head-over-heels for this time, but did like Madam Danchuan in New Life Begins a lot. I just love her aura of power, how fiercely protective she's of her women, AND how she will always allow you to have the final choice. She never forces her authority to make decisions for others, no matter how good she might internally think it'd be for you.

I also liked Bai Lu a lot, she's just a minor character but she stood out most to me among the Solar Term girls. She's sassy, and I think if I am to travel into NLB verse I'd like to be Bai Lu. Just like her I don't particularly care for men, I want to mind my own business and just chill with my jiejies lol.

8. Best Cinematography

I should remove this question too because I feel like I'm not professional enough for this, haha. Sometimes I love the visuals of some dramas only to find out that from technical aspects it actually sucked.

9. An Older Drama I Watched

Red Sorghum (2014). It's a CRIME that Red Sorghum's drama version has only ep 1 eng subbed, but also, having watched the movie I know how brutal it can get so maybe its a good thing only ep 1 is subbed, and after all ep 1 ends in a kind-of conclusive place so it does feel like a standalone story of its own, and I HIGHLY recommend watching it.

Do yourself a favor and watch this single ep because baby Zhou Xun and baby Huang Xuan are SO CUTE! Like toe-curlingly cute, I was squealing the whole time! 😍😍😍😍😍😍

Also it has some GORGEOUS backdrops!

https://youtu.be/zh55pwzBNag

10. A Drama that kept Me on Edge

Nothing really. I mean I did eagerly wait everyday for new eps of NLB and Da Kao but that's not the same.

11. A Drama Location I Want to Visit

I kind of want to visit Hengdian replicas of real locations, then visit the actual thing (such as Forbidden City) and try to compare and contrast lmao. I wonder how similar they are!

12. A Popular Drama I Didn't Enjoy

Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty. Not due to any particular fault of the drama itself, the production and visuals and aesthetics all were excellent, and all the ingredients were right there. I simply felt it didn't particularly offer anything I haven't already seen. The first ep reminded me strongly of Legend of the Demon Cat, which was a movie I loved a lot and still had a pretty fresh memory of. Sometimes strong acting and unique execution will carry a story that is otherwise pretty tried-and-tired, but unfortunately that was not the case here either.

13. Best Scriptwriting and Directing

Though I wouldn't say they were the best overall scripts, New Life Begins had the BEST female character writing I've seen in ages, and Da Kao (Exam for Everyone) had the most thorough writing of family dynamics.

Directing-wise, I liked what I saw but nothing that particularly blew my mind.

14. Best Production

The Long River. Even though I didn't get to properly see it yet, I heard they made an artificial Yellow river simulation for all the flooding scenes and there are LOTS of those scenes in this drama and... whew. It's not often you get a proper serious historical drama and when you do, it's usually difficult for any other drama to beat them production scale wise anyway😆.

15. A Drama that Made Me Laugh

Mr. Bad. The "character from a story comes to real life and messes with the other lead's life" premise will always be full of potential for unhinged shenanigans, and Mr.Bad doesn't fail. The main leads are so fun and the dynamic never boring, and Chen Zheyuan is SUCH a hoot with his expressions.

16. A Drama that Made Me Cry

NLB and Da Kao did, but they were more like tears of exhilaration. Instead lemme share this very good crying scene by Wang Yibo and Wang Jinsong in Being a Hero haha.

17. Most Satisfying Drama

New Life Begins owns my whole heart and soul! You can read my review for ep 1-14 here, and my current opinion of the drama remains the same if not better!

Even though it is a fluffy and ahistorical drama, lots of "proper" period dramas could learn from NLB about how to write your women as intelligent, dimensional individuals and not caricatures fallen victims to irrational jealousy and hatred. Since it's a feel good romcom everything always turn out for the better and that may not always be the case in history, yes. But this approach that these women tried to make a difference still holds valid regardless the genre.

You should learn that Past =×= 100% Oppression, 0% fighting back when it came to women, the same way Modern times doesn't mean 0% Oppression and 100% feminism (laughs in sarcasm). The foundations of how far we have come has been laid since centuries ago, AND there are lots of fronts that we have actually backtracked/regressed in compared to the past as well. Progressiveness is rarely linear.

Ok I digressed. Back to review 🤭.

18. Most Dissapointing Drama

Hu Tong. Life in Beijing hutong neighbourhood across eras told through 3 women of 3 generations of a family is quite possibly one of of the most interesting premises I've heard, but the first episode dissapointed me thoroughly with its unconvincing, in your face and over the top characters and storyline. Such potential, gone down the drain. If the drama didn't take itself seriously, neither would the audience.

19. Favorite Wardrobe

Hao Jia's wardrobe in NLB and Dongfang Qingcang's in LBFAD. The fine details and embroidery are 😘🤌. 100% would wear both styles, depending on the day lol.

20. A Drama That Deserves a Shoutout

Our Times. An omnibus type of drama where you'll be told slice of life stories of people in such interesting and niche jobs that you rarely get to see portrayed realistically in dramas. Such as traditional Chinese theatre dancers, or a sports coach in a rural area with minimal facilities. Also if you get uninterested with one story you can jump few episodes ahead to the next, so that's kind of a plus too, haha.

21. A Drama that Taught Me New Things

Are You Safe. Taught me lots of valuable tips about cyber safety. Unfortunately that was the only positive thing about this drama and I think it won't be presumptuous to say literally 99% people who watched it will agree with me.

22. Best Relationship

The care and nuance all the families were written in The Examination for Everyone was through-the-roof excellent. Unnecessarily stereotyped toxic Asian family portrayals out, empathetic and 3D Asian parent-children dynamics in! Gosh, I saw myself, my family, my society, my culture in this drama. Thank you and much love.

23. A Drama I Wanted to Watch but Couldn't

The Long River. No subs 😭

24. An Upcoming Drama that I'm Excited for

JoL 2 and Under the Microscope! 🤩 (Please come 😭)

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joyride-time · 15 days ago

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Lucrezia/Aaronev Playlist

Celebrating the evil grandpa face reveal with another playlist. They really did match each others' freak... I wonder if it was a "she loved lots of people" situation or Lu didn't care.

Red Flags - Tom Cardy Sub in "Human Centipede" for the whole mass wasping plan.

"I like it for the plot." Tell me what the plot's about "German doctor sews three people ass to mouth." (cool) Human Centipede, please, God, save me I think that's a red flag, I don't want to get stabbed

Mary - Alex G "She's hot, she's scary, she's the only one for me" in song form.

Give it to me, baby, I feel good I wanna feel whatever you think I should / Mary is the girl that leaves you to rot She says, "I am real, and you are not"

Feed the Machine - Poor Man's Poison This is less about their relationship and more about their plans.

Something's going on, just look around Fear is on the rise and there's blood all over the ground Let's all just blindfold the poor, we must remind them what's in store We got 'em now, just break 'em down a little bit more

Rule #18, Lion - Fish in a Birdcage I think this suits the particular brand of obsession that was going on.

If you are the music, then I am a craving If you are a surgeon, well, I'll keep you waiting If you are a liar, I saw the cover If you are a family, then I am your lover

Time Out Of Mind - Steely Dan Aaronev finally found the Holy Child. Good for him.

Children we have it right here It's the light in my eyes It's perfection and grace It's the smile on my face Tonight when I chase the dragon The water may change to cherry wine And the silver will turn to gold

#girl genius #luhelm #aaronev sturmvoraus #lucrezia mongfish #songs

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pastorfutureletthembe · 2 months ago

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My opinion is that both Dive back in time and VORTEX aren't from the POV that we are led to believe. The plot twist at the end of season 2 gave sense to the lyrics but I'm still clinging to the idea that there is so much more to be revealed. We know what Lu Guang is doing but we don't know why and what happened in Lu Guang's original timeline.

OVERTHINK's visuals show us that Lu Guang is the one who left everyone behind to pursue another reality, while VORTEX puts Cheng Xiaoshi through painful repeats and reverses. While the second one's lyrics are hinting that this is all just a role reversal, that one of them already went through this madness before ("just like you did for me" is the verse right before the reversed chorus), the first one shows an unsatisfied Cheng Xiaoshi.

Lu Guang probably leaves one timeline for another, Cheng Xiaoshi and he are not facing the same direction, CXS's eyes are serious and not looking at his target as he takes the picture; a door through time.

Indeed, there are multiple mentions of lies. The Tides is one example:

Both Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling hurry Lu Guang to enjoy the moment and stop worrying. Life is now.

youtube

321. Whether everything changes or not, I'll be waiting for you to come back, Three, two, one, counting down to the moment of clapping, I choose to sing for us.

And this is only the dots we can connect according to what has already been revealed: Lu Guang's pov.

My headcanon is that it's not a matter of who is going back in time to do what. It is hinted that they both have the ability and the madness to do so. They probably both did it, will do it again, are maybe doing it.

There is more to say about other songs but I'll stay on topic.

My wish for season 3 is to have an actual reversed version of VORTEX, revealing the actual truth hidden inside one's mind. Maybe with different lyrics the way they did for Keep in mind.

Keep in mind. Sounds like someone is finally coming to some kind of realization. I always thought one version was LG's and the other CXS's.

Several songs in the LC verse imply that what Lu Guang is doing is going against Cheng Xiaoshi's wishes and that he should just let things be but I'm out of time today.

Okay so I know we all subscribe to the Dive Back in Time is on Lu's perspective but I would like to raise to you that the chorus actually reads more like it's Cheng's perspective -

In the lyrics of the chorus we get the line:

"Something secretive hidden inside your mind"

- which would be a weird thing for Lu to say in regards to Cheng considering that we know Lu thinks of Cheng as genuine and impulsive - two things that do not lend themselves well to secrecy

We also get the line:

"Come back from the dive back in time"

- Now if we are assuming this to be Lu's perspective, and we are recognizing Lu to be the one who has gone on an extremely dangerous reality altering dive then why this line? A line that feels like it's begging someone to come back? sure that would make sense. but a line that is specifically begging for someone to come back from a dive? that's a little trickier. Now, we Know that Cheng Xiaoshi can only dive for 12 hrs, but it is heavily implied that Lu Guang's dive was more permanent and time loopy.

#时光代理人 #link click #lu guang #cheng xiaoshi #shiguang dailiren #qiao ling #meta #link click music #Youtube

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oss-punishment · 2 years ago

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Prologue-Music Box of Recollection; Scene 4

Original Sin Story: Punishment, pages 17-26

Late into the night, when the moon began to rule the sky in stead of the sun--

Nyoze stood alone at the place where the castle had once been.

In his hand he gripped the black music box that the man had given to him.

The thing that Alicegrad had been guarding…That was what the man had said.

Nyoze guessed that he’d been referring to where the queen lived, the “LeviaBehemo temple”.

That was what the castle had originally been built to protect, if you looked back at the history.

But that temple had vanished from the ground world now.

There was nothing there—not even any dead bodies.

Compared to the other buildings that castle should have been the strongest above all.

That destructive light had been enough to completely wipe it out.

So, doesn’t…look like there’s much chance of me finding any clues…

He could just cast away what that man had said as the ramblings of a madman.

But at present it seemed that Nyoze had nothing left he could turn to except this music box.

He took out the windup key, and, steeling himself, put it into the music box.

Then he slowly wound the spring.

Lu li la.

Eventually music began to play from the music box.

It was a different tune from the one that he’d heard that day.

Its stiff tone etched out a melody that felt somewhat strained.

I wonder…what sort of title this piece has.

As he pondered this, Nyoze waited for something to occur next.

“…”

There was no change.

The song merely continued to play through the dusk.

A melody that only Nyoze was listening to.

…Heheh, that’s right. That man directed me to listen to this music box here…But I guess he didn’t say anything about something occurring as a result of that.

It wasn’t that he’d been lied to.

He’d just made an incorrect assumption all on his own.

He decided to begin his search again once the sun had come back up. If he could collaborate with the other soldiers of the cavalry unit he might very well be able to find something--

It happened right as Nyoze started to move to turn back.

“—Another castaway of time.”

A woman’s voice.

He couldn’t be sure of where he was hearing it from.

It could be a shout from far away, a whisper in his ear, or even music resounding inside Nyoze’s mind.

This voice without a gauge for its distance murmured once more:

“Welcome, to this happy country.”

In that moment, the scenery around him transformed.

Nyoze was encircled by countless small lights.

Are these…horses? …No. They’re not real horses.

These wooden horses ran, entwined with lights.

They were endlessly circling around the same spot.

Above his head he could hear what sounded like gears turning.

When he looked up he could see an enormous windmill with a box suspended at its top, slowly rotating as it made that noise.

A world of varying things going around and around.

And at some point, Nyoze found himself lost in the center of it all.

“My my, how sad…You’re bound in chains.”

Again, there was that woman’s voice.

Nyoze shouted, in defiance to her, “I am not bound by anything! Who are you!? Show yourself!”

“Show myself? …Such a thing accomplishes no meaning here. Still…if you wish.”

From within the darkness appeared a single woman, both of her arms bound in shackles.

--Or rather, perhaps the woman’s form took shape in a space where before there had been nothing.

At any rate, it seemed this was the owner of the voice.

“Now then, castaway. What do you wish for?” the eerily white-skinned woman asked Nyoze. “Destruction…Rebirth…Or maybe the path to Angolmois?”

“I…just want to know the truth! I want to know the reason that the Magic Kingdom Levianta was brought to ruin!”

“The ‘wrath of the gods’ that was to come one day arrived…That’s all it was.”

“But the time of the ‘Gear of Twilight’ hadn’t arrived yet! The catastrophe occurred much sooner than the queen predicted! Why was that!?”

“Sigh…What a waste of time. Such a thing is little more than a tiny discrepancy.” The woman shook her head, as though disappointed. “If you came here for such a trivial thing as that, then there is nothing to be done with you.”

“W…Wait just a second! It might seem that way to you, but to me it is crucially important!”

The woman glared down at Nyoze with an imperious bearing.

“Then you should ask someone else. Another castaway here.”

“That—"

“He shall appear here before long. Enjoy your conversation with your brother.”

“…My older brother Gammon is here!?”

“That was his name, was it? Not that names have any real meaning here.”

“…You still haven’t answered my first question. Who…are you? Your name—"

“I’m quite sure you just heard that names have no meaning here. Still…if you desire, you shall have a temporary name to use.”

“…”

“We are Madam Merry-Go-Round.”

Merry-Go-Round…It was the family name that the successive generations of queens went by; or to put it conversely, it was a name that no one outside of the queens were allowed to use.

Before Nyoze could ask her if she was a relative of the queen, her figure disappeared, as though melting into the darkness.

Simultaneously, all of the lights around him also vanished. Nyoze was shut up in total darkness.

“…”

He could do nothing but wait. She had told him that Gammon would eventually come here. He had no choice but to believe in her words.

…Finally, with the clack of footsteps a human being tinged with a faint light approached him.

“—Gammon.”

It was none other than Gammon, Nyoze’s older brother.

And yet, this reunion was not necessarily a happy one for Nyoze.

“I…suppose I can’t rejoice that you’re alright.”

There was a plain and obvious reason why Nyoze would say that to him.

His older brother shouldn’t have been that much removed from him in age.

The last time they’d seen each other, before he’d left the country…Gammon’s face had been lined with deep wrinkles, and there had been white growing into his hair. Proof that his long years of hard work was beginning to show an effect on him.

Yet the Gammon that stood before him now looked much younger than his true age, as though he were a youth just barely into his twenties.

His brother was no longer a human of this world—that was something Nyoze understood the moment he laid eyes upon him.

“Nyoze…So, you did come here after all.”

“You don’t sound very welcoming.”

“That’s not true. I’m very happy I got to see you again. But at the same time…this means that you too have become a ‘Castaway of Time’.”

“The woman from before said that too. What is she? And what is this place—"

“Madam Merry-Go-Round. I myself can’t completely explain what she is. She is a manager of time, an amalgamation of the generations of queens, an Irregular…Something along those lines.”

That had been a barrage of phrases that Nyoze couldn’t understand the meaning of, but even so he could make some conjecture from it.

“Are we…inside the LeviaBehemo Temple?”

“We are. Rightly speaking, only candidates for queen are allowed to enter here. Though the temple is no longer standing, the space inside it continues to remain like this. This is a threshold of time where not even gods can interfere.”

“That’s curious. That there should be a space inside a temple that venerating the gods that the gods aren’t able to interact with.”

“The gods aren’t omnipotent. Just as a child isn’t a perfect puppet of their parents neither can the gods completely take hold of humanity’s deeds.”

But the gods really had brought their country to destruction, by their own hand.

Humans were powerless before the will of the gods, were they not?

“Gammon, what I want to learn is…Why did the gods destroy our country, in the end? Do you know the answer to that?”

“You’re a bit mistaken in your premise, Nyoze.”

“…?”

“The ones that created the source of our country’s downfall—were people. Yes, what we truly ought to fear is humanity…the desire that lurks in human hearts.”

“I don’t understand…I don’t get it. People witnessed the dragon god destroying our country. Yet you say the catastrophe was the work of humanity?”

“You’re smart, so I’m sure you’ve already noticed several things that are unnatural about the catastrophe, haven’t you? The senate was in the process of achieving the gods’ demands.”

“…The new queen had already become pregnant with the ‘Twins of God’. We just had to wait for her to safely give birth to them.” Then those twins would become the avatars of the gods…And through their power, the world would be saved. “And yet...Why did the gods not wait for the ‘Gear of Twilight’? There was still time left before the prophesized deadline.”

“Desire. As a result of two desires joining together, the catastrophe came much sooner than planned…Though it was brought about in a different fashion than someone anticipated.”

“Please be more specific.”

“Don’t be so hasty. I’ll need to go through this step by step. If I don’t…You won’t be able to leave this space again.”

“What?”

“Madam Merry-Go-Round is a ruthless woman. She has a policy that those who come are welcome, and those who leave are not regretted…But she is not so kind as to pave the way for you herself.” Gammon pointed to the music box that Nyoze was holding. “You came here by way of the ‘Clockwork Lullaby’ playing from that box. But that song is a one-way passage. I fear you can’t escape from here just by playing it again.”

“…Did that man set me up?”

“Well, who knows? I can guess who it was who gave that to you, but he wasn’t insane yet when I had met with him.”

“Is he an acquaintance of yours, Gammon? That man.”

“…? I’m sure that you must have recognized him too…? Ah well, let’s save that for later. If we don’t go through this according to the gears of time, the door to escape won’t open. Without a key, you have no other method available to you.”

He still couldn’t grasp anything of what he was saying, but Nyoze at the very least understood that he had no choice but to do as Gammon told him.

Several small lights began to float up from the darkness around Gammon.

When he looked more closely, he could see that they were all in the shape of gears.

These various gears of light, both large and small, began to turn in the space around him.

Gammon took one of the gears in hand.

“This, Nyoze, is a gear of your memory. Let’s start from here first…From that day that served as the catalyst for that ugly, mutual slaughter.”

Gammon let go of the gear, and it once more floated into the air.

Its light grew stronger, until it had driven away all of the darkness in their surroundings.

“This is…”

A familiar scene had burst into Nyoze’s field of vision.

The reception hall of Alicegrad castle.

The grave solemnity it had in the old days, before the catastrophe had occurred--

<<prev------directory------next>>

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tiny-katara · 2 years ago

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let's start this out with a definition of empathy: "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another."

with that out of the way, let's go through the lead up to sokka and zuko breaking into the boiling rock.

sokka pulls zuko aside to ask him where prisoners go. zuko doesn't tell him initially, saying that "knowing would just make you feel worse." that is zuko using empathy. he is putting himself in sokka's shoes and understanding that sokka holds himself responsible for what happened to those people during the invasion. at this time there is no mention of hakoda. it's just prisoners from the invasion.

sokka then says his dad was taken prisoner. zuko tries to convince him to not get clarification, but sokka insists. zuko tells him and that's about the end of the conversation.

from this zuko is able to gather that sokka is going to break into the boiling rock, so he waits for sokka. if zuko had truly just wanted sokka to like him, he would have suggested they go to boiling rock. in fact, it makes less sense for him to attempt to stop sokka if his goal is just to gain sokka's good favor.

until sokka says "it's my mistake, and it's my job to fix it. i have to regain my honor." zuko does not go along with this plan at all, actively trying to discourage sokka's rash behavior. this line is literally meant to remind us of zuko before joining the gaang by using his classic phrase. it is telling us that in this moment zuko knows exactly how sokka feels, so of course he would want to help him. zuko knows what it's like (once again demonstrating empathy), so he makes up his mind to help sokka.

now you aren't wrong. zuko does join the gaang because his father did not make him happy, however, your conclusion from that information is completely off. if you accidentally fell asleep during book 2, that's alright. i will fill you in. zuko spends the entirety of book 2 struggling with his identity. during this we see zuko struggle between his sense of morality and the desire to be selfish.

zuko's arc goes through 3 character phases: villain, anti-hero, and hero. we will mostly be discussing zuko's anti-hero phase, which takes place in book 2.

during book 2, zuko steals from people. he steals the ostrich horse from song, he steals from the man who mocked his uncle, he just takes. it's undeniably selfish and wrong and it's supposed to be. you are supposed to be screaming "zuko no!!! why would you do that!?!" and you're supposed to be able to tell that this is not truly him.

this is where the anti-hero part of zuko comes in. despite all the stealing and wrongdoings, you are supposed to be rooting for zuko. you want him to change and you want him to realize that what he's doing is wrong. and do you know why that is?

it's because we've seen the good in zuko. we've seen zuko give up on his goals, the very thing that's driving him, for others. the storm all the way in book 1 explicitly establishes that underneath his facade and ambition, zuko cares about people and can express empathy for them. we see this in book 2 as well, when he goes back for lee in zuko alone, an episode that goes out of its way to remind you again and again of zuko's empathy. after azula makes a comment about their uncle dying, zuko turns it back around and says "how would you like it if cousin lu ten wanted dad to die?" that comment can only be made if he's able to put himself into another person's shoes. zuko is even able to extend his empathy to zhao, sparring his life in their agni kai and trying to save him at the northern water tribe after zhao literally tried to murder him.

and as the original post i made states, zuko's entire journey is derived from a moment of empathy, a moment in which he stands up for others. zuko does not know a single recruit in that battalion and he does not gain anything from speaking out about it. he is first and foremost thinking of others in that moment. all that saying zuko is selfish proves to me is that you do not understand the basic underlying proponent of his entire character arc.

additionally, zuko never craved iroh's love over ozai's. no, zuko realizes during book 3 that his father's love is conditional and flimsy. it's not really love. it's not what he thought it was. zuko realizes that iroh was someone who truly loved him, wholly and unconditionally.

besides that, the entire point of zuko going home is that the earth kingdom is an afterthought! zuko choses what he think will make him happy over everything else because he thinks it's right, which it isn't and he learns that during his time in the fire nation. even though he is in the fire nation, zuko says "the people of the earth kingdom are proud and strong. they can endure anything, as long as they have hope." which indicates an admiration and respect for those people. furthermore, he is horrified by his father's plan and literally helps the very people trying to prevent that from happening.

also what??? the agni kai only happens because zuko wants to put azula in her place???? buddy, you do realize that azula on the throne is disastrous for peace in the world? zuko's task is necessary to ensure that the hate and war stops. don't be ridiculous.

someone can also have empathy and fail to use it. i don't know if you have siblings, but i do and it's pretty damn difficult to empathize with them sometimes and it would be a thousand times more difficult when trapped in the golden child and scapegoat dynamic that azula and zuko were forced into by ozai.

zuko also has no idea what's going on with azula. he says she's slipping, but that doesn't mean he understands the extent of it. he went to solve a war and end her reign. "putting her in her place" isn't about azula personally, it's about putting an end to a rule that perpetuates violence and imperialism.

disregarding that, i think you completely missed the last few frames of the agni kai, when zuko and katara are looking at azula while she's chained down. this moment is the one in which zuko truly realizes azula is a victim of his father too. up until this moment he is unable to recognize her as a child just as he is, which is fair considering she was abusive to him and manipulated him. maybe this is news to you, but zuko doesn't owe people who abused him anything.

azula definitely did not live the perfect life zuko assumes she did. azula was groomed into ozai's weapon, someone who would do his bidding without question. even when zuko was home, he and azula were not treated as equals or the same, thus why he does not think "oh my god she's just like me!" he does not understand that they were both absued by their father until the end of that agni kai, when he's the victor looking down at a wounded child. i personally believe that zuko would extend his empathy and care to azula, but let me reiterate that he is in no way required to since azula was abusive to him.

disregarding all of that, what did you want zuko to do upon seeing azula like that??? azula was not going to be receptive to anything zuko offered her. she was not going to back down lol. being offended that zuko didn't like pull up a chair and have an impromptu therapy session with her is one of the silliest takes i have ever heard.

also are you going to call katara selfish for wanting to help zuko and not fighting for the earth kingdom??? i feel as though you may have forgotten that they believed aang was going to go solve that problem lmao.

overall, your post has a severe lack of empathy for zuko. he is, as you said in your own tags, a teenager. teenagers often make mistakes and allow their personal feelings to conflict with their empathy, but that does not mean it doesn't exist. people's good and bad qualities ebb and flow. pointing out that zuko makes mistakes and doesn't always choose the correct choice in a situation says a lot more about your absurd expectations for a child than it does about him.

think about that. and if you need more help comprehending the basics of zuko's arc i am quite certain you'll find good explanations from @sokkastyles (who you failed to reblog from despite mentioning their lovely addition).

do we as zutarians talk enough about how zuko and katara are defined as characters by their empathy??? zuko's entire redemption arc is derived from a moment of empathy he shows to people who will never even hear of it. zuko doesn't even have a moment to think before he chooses the wellbeing of others, and katara is the same, constantly doing the dumbest shit for others like getting captured and going to prison with no real way to defend herself. these characters are driven by this internal care and urge to help the people around them. it is their goodness that makes them a beautifully crafted match.

#zuko #pro zutara #i guess??#pro zuko #azula critical #not EVEN TBH #im just playin it safe #the final agni kai

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carladuquette · 2 years ago

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since it’s pride, and i haven’t updated close your eyes in a while, i figured i’d share a season-appropriate snippet 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩1️⃣💋 (from ch. 27, so spoiler alert if you’re not there yet)

She had insisted on coming to Kapital over Rebe's complaints that too many college students hung out there on Saturday night. Sure, most of the people crowding the floor of the main area were younger than them. But Lu had a good reason for wanting to be there. In her last phone call with Omar, he had mentioned that a friend of his who DJ'ed at Kapital had told him about a secret performance. When Lu had heard the name Rosalía, she'd interrupted Omar with a short scream.

Now she dragged Rebe through a throng of people, up a seemingly endless stairwell until they were on the rooftop terrace that was covered by a metal roof. The beats made the floor below them vibrate, but the terrace was emptier than the main area they had just come from. For now, Lu thought. She saw that already, more people were coming up the stairs, while a couple of burly guys were setting up mics on the stage at the far end of the terrace.

"Was there a reason you made me climb 17 flights of stairs?" Rebe asked her, still sounding slightly out of breath.

Lu grinned. "Just you wait. But let's wait over there." She pulled Rebe until they were standing almost right in front of the stage. The feeling of the other woman's hand in hers still made Lu giddy.

The terrace was filling up rapidly now. "What is going on?" Rebe turned to her. "This isn't a coincidence, right? Did you know someone was playing here tonight?"

Suddenly the room went pitch-black, and Lu leaned closer to Rebe so she could be heard over the excited screams from the audience.

"Bitch, I know everything."

The first bars of La Fama, one of Rosalía's old songs, started playing and Rebe squeezed Lu's hand harder. She could tell Rebe was repeating "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" from the way her lips moved, even though she couldn't hear it. Then a spotlight turned on, the singer stepped out onto the stage and the room went wild.

Rebe threw her arms around Lu and lifted her a few centimeters off the ground. Lu was pretty sure she was shouting "this is amazing," but what mattered more to her was the expression of pure elation on Rebe's face. This was exactly what she'd had in mind for tonight. Lu threw her head back and laughed. Then she lifted her hand that was still holding Rebe's and twirled.

During the next two or three songs, she saw Rebe throw her incredulous glances every now and then. Eventually, after a Kapital employee had come onstage and announced a 5 minute technical break, Rebe pulled her close. "You're incredible," she whispered so close to her ear that Lu got goosebumps.

Before she could reply, there was a loud crackling sound coming from above their heads. Lu looked up and saw the retractable roof above them open up. When Rosalía started playing again, they were standing under a clear night sky, illuminated by the stars.

The song was a cover of a Kodaline song Lu loved, All I Want. Her breath caught in her throat. Before she had time to change her mind, she pulled at Rebe's hand. When she was looking at her, Lu stood as tall as she could.

"Rosalía, this song, all of this," she moved her hand in a sweeping gesture above them. "It's so freaking romantic, you really should finally-"

kiss me, Lu thought as Rebe's lips met hers. And then she stopped thinking.

She felt the warmth of Rebe's hand on her face, her thumb caressing her cheek. She breathed in the summery scent of the orange blossom body spray Rebe used year-round. And when she opened her mouth and let her tongue meet Rebe's, she got a faint taste of the beer Rebe had been drinking.

There were sparks running through her entire body. Lu got on her tiptoes to be even closer to Rebe, who chuckled into their kiss. Eventually she broke away for air and rested her head on Rebe's collarbone, the other woman's hand in her hair. When she tilted her head up, she found a pair of blue eyes already looking at her.

"Wow," was all Rebe said softly.

Lu smiled. "Definitely worth the wait."

For the rest of the concert, the two of them stayed with their arms slung around each other, standing under the stars.

#happy pride!#lu x rebe #elite #lucrecia montesinos #rebeka de bormujo #wlw #first kiss #fanfiction #close your eyes #rosalia

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ilikemesometaetaes · 4 years ago

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Don’t Hold Your Breath ~ jjk

Chapter Six (M)

•••> Author: @ilikemesometaetaes

•••> Summary: As the CEO of an international government security company, you have the world at your fingertips. Living life lavishly and extravagantly has become the norm. Behind closed doors, however, you host a past that renders you lonely and, quite frankly, miserable. It’s only a matter of time before your past comes back to bite you right in the ass.

•••> Pairing(s): Jungkook/Reader, Taehyung/Reader (slight)

•••> Inspo: This fic is inspired by the song “SAVAGE ANTHEM” by PARTYNEXTDOOR. Thank you to @dariangarcia, @btssmutgalore, and @junghoseokit for supporting my work. To my mamas, Kaitlin, Adora, Lauren, Lanie, Lu, and Sher.

•••> Word Count: 7.81k

•••> Rating: 18+

•••> Warnings: angst, dirty talk, sexual teasing, heartbreak, cursing, pining, depression, breakup, emotional instability, arguing | Warnings are written specifically to chapter.

Taglist: @dariangarcia @apurpledheart @itsgottabeyoo-ngs @hytibm @namjinsbaby @ggukkieland @fan-ati--c

If you’d like to be added to the taglist, say so in a comment to this chapter or the DHYB Main Page, or send me an ask!

NAVIGATION: Chapter Five (M) <- | -> Chapter Seven (M) -> Mini-Masterlist -> Series Masterlist

•••> Official Playlist

~#~

“I put the dirt into dirtbag. Still got your jacket in my bag.”

THEN.

“Kookie!” You screamed in between breaths, eyes watering at the struggle. “Stop! Please!”

“No way!” His laugh was buried in your hair as he pressed his face against the back of your head. “Apologize!”

“For what?” You wheezed, attempting to get away from the curling fingers that tickled your ribs relentlessly. His long legs were wrapped around your body, restricting your movement and effectively taking away almost any opportunity to escape.

“For calling me a singing demon!” His hands continued their assault, sending you into another laughing fit. You fought helplessly against his tattooed arms.

You wanted to bite back, but the lack of air in your lungs prevented you from doing so. Your heart beat wildly, adrenaline spiking and arms flailing against his grip. Desperation flooding your mind, you wrapped your hand around the one that caged your neck and dug your nails into his flesh in hopes that the pain would get him to weaken his hold.

Jungkook only laughed again and hummed teasingly. “Oh, just like that. Harder, baby.”

Squirming didn’t help much, but when you shifted your hips and felt something poking into your spine, you huffed with defeat on the horizon. His obvious boner signified that he liked your struggle- a clear indicator that there was no way he was letting you go any time soon.

Unless…

With another shift of your hips to grind your ass upwards on him, seating his dick between your clothed ass cheeks, you let the situation take over your body with your brain rewiring into a horny mindset in order to distract him.

“Jungkook,” You whispered through a gasp, hoping the change of pace would throw him off. It was a stunt you always pulled; whether it be during an argument or sex, changing the pace would unfocus your boyfriend’s attention and give you the upper hand.

Sure enough, Jungkook’s embrace around you loosened so that he could give himself more room to slide his manhood against you.

“Oh, baby...” He grunted into your ear with a sliver of surprise tainting his lust.

Slowly, so as to not trigger him, you slid one hand down his stomach and slid two fingers below the waistband of his shorts. With your body on top of him, you couldn’t go further inward, so you settled on harshly scraping your nails across his hip while you dug your other hand harder into his forearm.

“Please.” You said with more air in your lungs. Finally, you could breathe.

“Are you begging for me to fuck you?” His dick twitched against you, desperate to bury itself between your thighs. “Or are you pleading for mercy? Tell me, Y/N,”

Jungkook flipped the two of you over so that your chest pressed into the bed and his entire body pinned you to the mattress with a swift cant of his hips. “Which one is it?”

For a moment, you rolled your eyes and struggled to look at him from your compromised position. It wasn’t until your eyes caught sight of the numbers on the clock sitting on the nightstand that you began struggling with a new burst of concern in your mind.

“Jungkook!” You wheezed. “The time!”

“Answer my question, Y/N. I can stay here all night. The stage can wait.”

“But you’ll be late!” Your voice increased in volume.

“Only if you continue avoiding my question…” Jungkook trailed off for a moment before he leaned down to murmur softly in your ear. “Well, I’ll only be late if you refuse to let go of your pride to ask for mercy and beg for my cock instead. I will rearrange your guts if that is what you’re asking for.”

You huffed in frustration, the desire to fuck your boyfriend dissipating with his words. You knew that Jimin would be through the roof by now, searching high and low for the lead singer of BTS to dress him properly.

“Mercy.” You finally grumbled in defeat, not wanting to delay him any longer.

Almost disappointedly, Jungkook grunted as he removed his weight from on top of you. “Fine.”

“I’ll go turn on the car.” You got up and swiped the keys off of your dresser, thankful that you were still dressed in your internship clothes.

“You go do that.” Jungkook chuckled whilst sliding his shorts off of his body to reveal a very obvious boner tenting his boxers that you pretended to be oblivious of. “You’re a master at turning me on so I trust you with that.”

“Ew.” You grimaced at the poorly-delivered joke. “That was terrible.”

“No, it wasn’t. It was clever.” Jungkook chided.

“Not at all.” You quipped. After you watched him slide a pair of jeans up his muscular legs, you turned to leave. You just needed to make sure he got dressed. “I’ll be in the car.”

~#~

Jimin’s knowledge of art always mystified you. His prowess wasn’t the type of intelligence like knowing how Picasso depicted the loss of innocence in Guernica or how the melting clocks of Dali introduced surrealism to the world of art- no, that was Taehyung’s strong-suit.

Jimin knew how to create his own version of art that left viewers wistful and in absolute awe by making a stage the vessel of his masterpieces.

As you sat on the balcony, overlooking the crowd while they all thrashed and jumped to the beat of Hoseok’s bass drum and the duo of guitars that was Namjoon and Jungkook, you just had to sit back in your chair and stare at the composition that was Jimin’s show.

Flashes of blue and red lights swept across the crowd, printing themselves temporarily into the crowd’s retinas so that when the opposite color came back, a light hue of purple was brought into the experience for a fleeting moment. Short puffs of fire whenever Namjoon strummed a power chord warmed your face, even from the distance in which you sat from the stage, and lasers shot through the crowd every time Yoongi penetrated the sounds of his group with the keys of his keyboard.

Graphics on the jumbotron behind the band, which were also of Jimin’s creation, outlined each member with curls of dark, tentacle-like wisps that matched the purple hue of the crowd with its raven color.

The last song of the setlist, Blue and Grey, was one you were all too familiar with. The lights faded to a soft blue for a moment as Taehyung began the first strong notes with his bass and the crowd in the venue whooped and hollered in excitement- Blue and Grey was BTS’ most popular song. A year and a half into their journey of being a band and they already had a crowd favorite.

As Taehyung continued his bass line with his guitar and tattooed strumming arm put on display by Jimin’s spotlight, Jungkook leaned into the mic and began strumming his own guitar.

“Where is my angel?”

You sighed and leaned forward in your seat, loving the way Jungkook’s voice carried throughout the performance hall.

Taehyung accompanied Jungkook with the intro until Hoseok joined in to transition into the first verse with his high hat and snare drum.

Once the chorus hit, you couldn’t help but stand from your seat as you began to feel the power of BTS’ music rocking the venue.

“I just wanna be happier. To melt the cold me.”

Jungkook’s neck veins bulged from his skin as he belted out the notes, sweat dribbling down his temples from exertion. Even as he huffed for breath in between his lines, the image of him dressed in all black and owning the stage while ripping his fingers through his guitar strings was one you could never get tired of.

The songs were full of angst- the dark, unspoken feelings that not many people talked about- and you loved how you heard them from Jungkook through music. If only he were this honest when it was just the two of you.

“Don’t say it’s okay, ‘cause it’s not okay.” Jungkook closed up his lines with a heartbreaking tone that every fan in the crowd sang along with as Namjoon prepared to sing his part. For a brief moment, your boyfriend met your eyes across the large venue.

“Please don’t leave me alone. It hurts too much.”

~#~

NOW.

You walked into your building, grateful for the warm protection it offered against the freezing winter of New York City.

Noticing the lack of staff around, being that there was only the elevator operator and the receptionist sitting behind the marble counter, you glanced at your watch to check just how long you spent working.

20:17, your watch read. You had been working in front of computer screens and reading contracts for almost 9 hours.

“Greetings, ma’am!” The receptionist stood from his chair. “May I be of any service to you this evening?”

You shook your head to the man and continued on your path to the elevator where the other employee in the lobby waited to take you up. “None needed. I’ll be leaving momentarily.”

“Very well. Please let me know if you need anything.” He sat back down and turned his gaze to the computer in front of him.

The sound of your pumps echoed against the vast but empty room until you stopped in front of the elevator where the woman already had the doors opening in preparation.

“Good evening, ma’am.” She said lowly.

“ ‘Evening.” You responded, stepping inside without another word. The woman kept the conversation at that, which you appreciated, so you smiled at her in gratitude after you placed your key in the penthouse slot. She returned your smile with her own before the doors closed to encase you in silence.

The ride up was quiet, warranting you to pull out your phone so that you could read over your conversation with Taehyung again.

Why am I wearing think socks? I hate thick socks.

Read at 8:01 pm

Trust me. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

Is that so? Why?

Read 8:03 pm

Just wear the damn socks, Y/N.

Are you gonna tell me where we’re going?

Read 8:04 pm

Negative, captain

Why am I a captain now

Read 8:04 pm

Cuz I said so. Now stop talking or you’ll make me give away my position

Alright.

Read 8:05 pm

I said stop talking

…?

Read 8:05 pm

Fucking hell.

You let a small giggle slip past your lips at how normal the text conversation was. It was as if you never stopped talking to him, slipping into the normalcy of having Taehyung back in your life as quickly as it had been to cut him out of it. You zoned out for a moment in thought.

The strange sensation of friendship didn’t take any getting used to as it settled itself back into your bones and filled your heart with warmth like it never left- like the ice covering the beating organ was only temporary. As you stood alone, staring shallowly at the increasing floor numbers, you smiled in content.

The elevator slowed as the cabin came close to reaching the top floor, bringing you back to your senses. Sliding your phone back into the pocket of your slacks, you looked up once the elevator doors opened, only to drop your briefcase to the floor loudly.

Jungkook sat against the wall beside your door with his knees tucked under his chin and his arms wrapped around his legs. At the sound of your clumsiness clattering on the ground, his gaze snapped to you as he scrambled to stand up.

Anger flooded you immediately. You wanted to backhand him and rip his hair out. You wanted to scream and cry and lose your shit. However much you wanted to hurt him, though, you could not afford catching an assault charge on the man who defaced you once before.

There was a break of silence as you stood staring at him, unsure of how to handle the punch in your mood while the memories were forced to surface in your mind.

“Y/N…” Jungkook trailed, breaking the tangible barrier of tension. He took a step forward whilst obviously hesitating. “I-”

Instead of screaming at him, you went for the more sophisticated and controlled route to keep your lividity at bay whilst stopping his sentence in its tracks.

“How did you get up here?” It was a sensible question to ask. You just wanted to prevent him from deepening the conversation.

“I pulled some strings.” He murmured, looking down almost shyly, before piping up with more confidence. “But listen, I-”

“Save it.” You cut him off again, unable to control your facade much longer. “Get the fuck out of my face.”

His anxious expression turned worried- desperate. You didn’t miss the way his eyes became more expressive than you’ve ever seen them. “Please, Y/N.”

“Please what, Jungkook?”

“Please just give me a moment to speak.”

For a beat, you pondered his request. Taehyung’s words weighed heavily on your mind. We needed to talk.

Fuck talking. You have been done talking for ages.

“Wow.” You scoffed coldly, ice barriers slamming back into place over your heart. Taehyung had been able to melt them away, but Jungkook put them right back with fierce determination to completely ruin you. “You just want to take everything from me, huh?”

“Y/N, what-“ He blinked cluelessly, caught off-guard by your sarcasm.

“I gave you years to speak, Jungkook. I gave you everything.” You stepped forward, the boiling rage overtaking your body, and came to a stop in front of him with the fury of a charging bull. You wanted him to feel small and vulnerable.

“What else could I possibly give you? I have nothing left.” He took everything. The veins in your body were emptied and exhausted of every single ounce of energy to fight for someone.

You were unaware of the way Jungkook’s fists were clenched so tight that his knuckles turned white and his nails dug into his palms.

You failed to notice how much he trembled under your gaze, physically struggling to protect his butterfly from your wrath.

Your vicious swings at the dainty being of hope were nothing compared to what he, himself, had done to it. Jungkook found it ironic that you gave him an aspect that he was just barely strong enough to protect yet took the darker things from inside him and destroyed them as if they were mere placeholders- as if you were his puppeteer.

You were too stressed to realize the toll it took on Jungkook to keep his act together. He needed to keep the door open long enough to be your friend. Anything to prevent losing you. Earlier, his demons swooped in and overtook him, suffocating him to silence once again, but for the first time, they ebbed away at the mere thought of you.

As he walked down the street with his stage persona flowing, the simple thought of your name empowered his butterfly to beat its wings so fiercely that it blew away all of the impending smoke and dark tentacles of smog that threatened to overtake his vision.

Once he thought of you, he thought of everything.

Your anger was justified. He understood that now. Watching you huff breath after breath following your question was somehow relieving- you still cared enough to be pissed off. Jungkook forced himself to look on the bright side of the encounter with you; he made himself see that you were still passionate about the past. You were passionately upset and he couldn’t be happier.

He had seen you with Taehyung. He saw the way you were happy again. Jungkook wanted a part of that because he was too selfish to back off and stay dormant in your life- too determined to make you silence his demons.

Even if it was just as a friend. He could deal with that.

“You’re right.” Jungkook stated.

You paused in your tracks at the concession. Anger no longer blazing- staying right where it was- you quirked an eyebrow at him. Any time the two of you fought, he would never come even close to alluding that you were right.

“You’re right and I’m sorry, Y/N.”

An apology.

Words always seemed minimal to you. Unless to communicate information, you found that words filled with feeling didn’t mean much from someone you didn’t know.

After Jungkook, anyone that told you they loved you was promptly deemed a liar. Kate worked hard to make sure you were aware of the fact that she would actually take a bullet for you because of how much she loved you. She spent moment after moment proving to you that she cared deeply even though she didn’t have to put up with you.

Your parents, despite not talking to you much, expressed their love and gratitude whenever you sent them money. You knew they were hard workers like you and didn’t have time to worry about trivial things like words. Instead of taking the easy way out by simply telling you that they loved you, they showed you.

But Jungkook, who claimed to love you in the way that a lover would- the only person to actually do so- lied.

You could never trust the words in that way again.

Still, you couldn’t help but be taken by surprise.

“I’m right? Really?”

“Y/N, you’ve been right since the beginning. I took and took and just stopped giving back. I understand that you’re angry and I want to fix it so that you don’t hate me anymore. I want to make it right.”

You were silent. You hadn’t expected him to admit his fault so easily. Jungkook changing the pace of your conversation ruined your momentum, sending you stumbling and scrambling for thoughts.

Jungkook sighed for a moment, pressing his lips into a thin line as he let his eyes drop to the floor in your silence. He wasn’t about to lose the opportunity to elaborate further, though.

“Look, I know I fucked up. Bad. I know you can’t possibly forgive me right now, but I want you to know that I’m sorry for the things I’ve done to you.”

Your automatic reaction to being emotionally pushed came back, closing you down and disguising you as a cold woman.

“What the fuck do you know? What the fuck do you know about how badly you fucked up? I don’t need your lame-ass apology, Jungkook. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. Stop pretending that you do. Sure, we fucked a little and kissed a few times, but that’s all that it was.” You grit out the last few words, lying through your teeth. “Now please move. You’re blocking the door.”

Shockingly, Jungkook obeyed. He stepped aside and clasped his hands behind his back without another word, allowing you to walk to your door and open it.

Don’t look back. Don’t look back.

No matter how many times you repeated the words in your head, commanding yourself to abide by the mantra as if it were law, the emotions in your head managed to break through and force your head to turn back after stepping through the doorway.

Jungkook stood as still as a statue, staring at you with a blank expression that was almost eerie. You glanced down quickly, unable to maintain the eye contact, and noticed that his knuckles were clenched.

It was almost as if he was a completely different person because of the fact that his appearance was drastically different from that of BTS Jungkook. The man that stood in front of you was no rockstar. He was not an idol nor a role model that millions looked up to.

He was a scared boy. The fear that riddled his eyes was extremely difficult to miss and it made him seem almost small whilst standing in the small junction between the elevator and your penthouse.

You shut the door in his face impulsively, hoping that you wouldn’t have to see him again.

Backing away from the door slightly, you waited until you heard the elevator signal that its doors were closing before going to look through the peephole. You finally released your breath and slumped against the door when you saw that he had left.

Without his presence putting you on edge and keeping you on your toes, you could finally reflect on the conversation that just transpired.

He admitted his wrongdoings and apologized for them. He showed you his belly and became vulnerable. He admitted defeat.

Jungkook wasn’t an apologetic person in the slightest; he wasn’t a forgiving one either. In all the years that you had known him, he was headstrong and stubborn- if you looked past the part where he closed himself off and cheated, of course.

This Jungkook, the one you had just spoken to, was not the one you remember. Maybe you were right. Maybe you didn’t know him anymore.

Your phone vibrating in your pocket distracted you from pondering any further over the epiphany, prompting you to pull it out and fumble with it to get away from the confusing subject. You were thankful for the distraction.

Kim Taehyung (BTS)

I’ll be out front in 15 mins

Cursing internally, you left the idea of Jungkook behind you and rushed to change into clothes better suited for the cold weather.

It was a given that a small smile pulled at the corner of your lips when you slid thick tube socks over your ankles. You hadn’t actually worn tube socks in ages because they didn’t exactly go with your usual professional style of suits and heels.

You zipped your coat up about three-fourths of the way before turning to look at yourself in your mirror with a huff.

Suddenly, you were bombarded with a memory as it flashed before your eyes.

“You know you look good, babe.”

You giggled as Jungkook came up behind you to look at you in the reflection, setting his chin on your shoulder while he used his tongue to toy with the hoop pierced into his lip.

“Thanks, Kook. Just want to look my best is all.” You met his eyes in your bedroom mirror, smiling softly.

“Well, you look beautiful.”

You were left staring at the empty space where his face was, unsure of how to react as you stumbled back from the intrusion. Another meaningless scene came barging into your senses before you could process the first.

“Wow…” You trailed off as you looked at the angry red spot on Jungkook’s chest. A brand new tattoo, the size of your hand, raised out of his skin and shined under the luminescent light of the tattoo parlor. With the tattoo artist cleaning up his station behind the two of you, you were left to admire his beauty in his reflection.

Jungkook stood shirtless in front of the full-length mirror as he smiled brightly at the last tattoo to complete his set. Your eyes drank in the way each exhibit of inked art contrasted with his smooth, caramel expanse of skin while you stood behind him.

The new piece, which was almost large enough to touch the Chinese characters stamped onto the side of his neck and the back of his ear, was a depiction of an angel falling from the heavens. The detail in the blackening feathers attached to the angel’s back was mesmerizing, drawing all of the attention from the rest of the tattoos covering Jungkook’s chest.

“Is there any special meaning behind it?” You asked, knowing that your boyfriend had a few meaningless tattoos that were part of his ‘woke-up-and-it-was-there’ collection.

For a moment, Jungkook stayed silent as he studied the work of art in the mirror. It wasn’t until you called his name again that he answered your question while meeting your gaze in the reflection.

“Nah. It just looked really cool to me.”

You pressed your hand to your forehead and looked away from your mirror, wondering why- now, of all times- you just had to remember those small memories.

You didn’t miss him- you know you didn’t. But something within you twisted at the thought of being with him- the memory of how it felt to be his.

The disconnect between the feelings of your heart and the thoughts of your mind, ever so obvious, shifted. His apology was unexpected, to say the least, but it was also surprisingly heartfelt and pulling on your need to forgive.

Saved by the bell, your landline phone began to ring.

You rushed to the bedside table and grabbed the phone from its dock, pulling it to your ear.

“Ms. Y/L/N? It’s the front desk. Mr. Kim Taehyung is here and waiting for you.”

“Got it. Thank you. I’ll be down in a moment.” You hung up the phone and grabbed your wallet and keys before shuffling over to your desk to grab your briefcase on instinct.

“Wait,” you spoke aloud, laughing at yourself and withdrawing your reach. “I don’t need that.”

As you opened the door to your penthouse, the sound of something lightly hitting your door had you looking down.

A small, navy blue bag, the size of your palm, swung from the doorknob and hit lightly against the wood from the momentum of you opening your door. Confused, you unhooked the loop from the doorknob and looked inside the bag to find a familiar-looking box inside.

Gingerly, you pulled it out and opened it. In the way of the box’s contents was a folded piece of notebook paper with your name scrawled across the top in Jungkook’s messy handwriting.

You held your breath after reading the note and looked down at the small charm.

Since you gave me yours, I’ll give you mine. -jk

In the fabric of the satin display lay the familiar gold chain that Jungkook gifted you those few years ago, but, instead of the small J that you were so familiar with, lay your own initial.

You knew Jungkook’s way with words well enough to know that the small note connected his intentions to the chain. You were instantly pulled back to the night that he gifted the necklace to you in the first place.

“It’s beautiful. Happy one-year, babe.” You whispered onto his lips with a smile.

After you sat back into your seat, Jungkook walked to your side of the table to put the chain around your neck. “I obviously have the describe how much this necklace means so that you never take it off.”

You laughed. “I wouldn’t even dream of taking it off, Kook.”

“I still need to explain. It was like a message from heaven when I saw them in the jewelry store.” He pouted, returning to his seat. “So the idea with these is that we’re wearing parts of each other. You’re wearing the part of me that belongs to you and I’m wearing the part of you that belongs to me.”

Jungkook continued as he raised his glass. “So even though you think this necklace is yours because it’s your letter, it’s actually mine.”

You cocked your head in confusion, struggling to understand the concept. “What are you talking about?”

“It sounded so much better in my head, I swear.”

You understood the idea now.

Push off the emotions. Don’t think about them.

You were hellbent on ignoring the weakness, knowing full well what path you would go down if you let them get to you.

Instead, you made your way down to the lobby with the bag gripped tightly in your mitten-clad hands, heading to the desk with determination furrowing your brow. Even as Taehyung stood from the small sofa in the lobby upon seeing you, you did not spare him a glance.

Forcefully, you thrusted the bag into the receptionists’ face, internally wincing at your rude gesture.

“Please put this in the lost and found. I have no idea where it came from.”

The receptionist did well at hiding his expression, however, you could still see a sense of somber recognition behind his eyes. You decided not to press him seeing as you want to avoid the topic of Jungkook like the plague.

“Understood, ma’am.” He took the bag from your grasp before you had the chance to rethink addressing his slip of emotion, placing it in a drawer by his knee. He looked back up and gestured to Taehyung after locking the drawer. “Mr. Kim is here for you.”

You sighed in a mild sense of accomplishment, forcing yourself to shut out the regret and sadness for giving away a formerly precious memory, before turning to face Taehyung with a small smile to mask your inner turmoil. Your smile faltered when you noticed that Taehyung mirrored the same expression on his face that the receptionist wore.

“What?” You asked, walking to him.

“I just-” He looked down for a moment, scowling, and you noticed he had placed his small barbell back into his eyebrow. “-nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Why won’t you tell me anything?” The two of you had walked to the door, stopping before going out into the cold so that you could finish your conversation.

“Like I said before, it’s not my place to say or judge.”

Taehyung opened the door to an icy gust of wind before you could protest, chilling you into a mind-numbing stupor as you whispered, “Holy fucking shit.”

“Good god, it is freezing.” Taehyung mumbled, linking an arm around your body and ushering you towards his SUV across the sidewalk.

Once sat inside the warmth of the cabin, you shivered in satisfaction at the heat gracing your body.

“Please tell me we’re not going to be outside for whatever we’re doing.” You pleaded to him. The light from the city was filtered by the darkened car windows, however, you could still see Taehyung’s shoulders moving up and down when he chuckled.

“Unfortunately, we are, but fortunately, I brought some heat packs for us.”

You whined in protest, looking up to the GPS screen in front of the driver to see if you could identify where the two of you were going. Without a route plotted, you were left even more curious.

About twenty minutes of small talk and a brief roast session targeting Hoseok later, you sat in front of the ice skating rink at the Rockefeller Center.

“We’re ice skating?” You asked, suddenly in shock. You hadn’t been ice skating since-

No. Stop it. Your mind warred with itself as it suppressed the memory threatening to spill over into your eyes.

“You’re quite the detective.” Taehyung’s sentence was drenched in sarcasm, functioning as the perfect distraction, and prompted you to lightly shove him with a giggle as you exited the vehicle.

“I thought I was a captain.” You pouted against the cold, pulling your hat down on your head even further in hopes of retaining your body heat and warmth from the van.

“You are.” Taehyung laughed again. “Captain Detective.”

You only rolled your eyes at his playfulness before you turned to face the rink from the sidewalk. A person passing behind you and bumping into your back lightly had you cursing New York City’s busy and bustling population.

Seeing all of the people on the rink, you instantly remembered that you did not inform Jay of your whereabouts.

“Do we have security?” Worry riddled your brain as you turned to look at him with your eyes widening in a panic. You became hyperaware of all of the possible outcomes to Taehyung being identified in such a crowded place.

Taehyung sighed as he walked you up to the ticket booth. “We don’t. I just want to have a normal and plain but fun time with my friend- without someone glaring at me like they don’t want to be here while they breathe down my neck.”

Despite understanding his statement, you couldn’t help the automatic stress to being in public without any form of protection.

“Taehyung,” You warned, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Y/N,” He mocked your tone childishly before leveling it to his regular voice. “Relax, weirdo. We’re here to have fun and people are too busy having their own fun to notice us.”

“I doubt that.”

It wasn’t until you got your rental skates tightly secured onto your feet and began walking toward the ice that Taehyung mentioned a vital detail that he definitely should have mentioned prior to arriving at the center.

“You what?” You were baffled to say the least.

“I can’t skate.” He sheepishly brought his hand to the back of his head and adjusted his trapper hat under your scrutiny.

“Then why did we come?” You were almost yelling at that point.

“Because Brian told me that you liked ice skating!” Taehyung gripped at your fingers tightly, anxiety getting the best of him.

Fucking hell, Brian.

“Did he?” Your laugh was almost hysterical because of how wrong he was. You were becoming increasingly hesitant about giving your personal assistant a raise now.

Still, it was worth the effort. Brian was just trying to help the world’s most popular bassist when he came to him in need of information. It was a decent attempt.

“Yeah,” Taehyung huffed. “He did.”

“Well, Tae, I’ll have you know,” You moved towards the ice rink with determination. “I haven’t been ice skating in ages and I hardly like it. Hopefully, I still have muscle memory.”

“Oh god.” Taehyung groaned, tipping his head back as the feeling of imminent and utter chaos ensued. “Fucking hell, Brian.”

As soon as you stepped on the ice, you realized that you were still perfectly coordinated enough to complete the task.

Taehyung, on the other hand, clung to the walls like the world was attempting to swallow him into the ground. Dutifully, you stood next to him with a cautious hand on his back in the case that he went tumbling.

The sight was one to behold.

Kim Taehyung, hard core rockstar- the physical definition of a stereotypical ‘bad boy’- with tattoos littering his skin and a glistening eyebrow piercing that was winking at you from under his gray trapper, stood hunched over and afraid as he moved baby step-by-baby step to proceed further around the rink. You couldn’t help but giggle as the man who possessed the prowess of an elegant panther on stage adopted the likes of a stumbling newborn giraffe within the span of five minutes.

You were still concerned for him despite how funny it was. Tentatively, you reached your hand to grip his shoulder and urged him to look at you.

“Tae, are you okay? We can do something else if you’d like.”

“No, it’s okay.” He wheezed in effort. “I got this.”

Making a show out of how brave he was, Taehyung stood up straight on shaky legs and began progressing forward by attempting to walk on the ice.

“I can show you how t-” Taehyung cut off your offer before you could finish it.

“I’ve been shown countless times how to skate and the best I can do is walk and maybe slide forward a little. I’m a lost cause, Y/N.” Even though he seemed upset, Taehyung couldn’t help but crack a smile at how clumsy he was.

You smiled pitifully at your clumsy friend before you stepped in front of him. “Here, hold onto my shoulders and we’ll slide forward together.”

All Taehyung could do was begrudgingly agree, hating the idea of having to lean on you for support but wanting to remain close to you for the majority of the night. Once he placed his hands tightly on your shoulders, you moved.

At first, you skated slowly so that Taehyung could adjust to the feeling of being pulled forward. Once he got the hang of keeping his legs locked so that you could move around easier, you skated at a normal speed.

After about ten minutes of joking around and catching Taehyung’s slipping form a handful of times, your mind was left free and without defense.

You hadn’t realized how vulnerable you were because of it.

“Y/N, slow down! I can’t go that fast!”

Your breathing came to a halt at the voice that echoed in your ears.

“Here, hold my hand and we’ll skate together.”

Panicking, you rushed your mind to shut it out. No. Stop.

Unknowingly, the chaos in your mind and the desperate need to get away from the memories had you gradually increasing your own speed to subconsciously escape your thoughts.

Taehyung’s nervous laugh and call of your name in warning fell on deaf ears while you furrowed your eyebrows in concentration.

“See? It’s easy. Just step and lean. Step- and lean.” His hand clutched yours as if he was trying to squeeze all of the blood from your fingers but you only squeezed back in reassurance.

“Don’t let me fall, please.”

Taehyung’s skate crashing into the back of yours served as the perfect distraction, yet it only lasted for a split second as the two fo you went tumbling to the ice in a hauntingly familiar manner.

In the process of falling, Taehyung had managed to wrap his arms around your waist and twist his body so that he could take most of the impact from the ice. Landing on top of him with an ‘oof’ reminded you of the last time you went ice skating.

Even with your face mere centimeters from your friend’s, all you saw was him.

Taehyung’s small puffs of air against your lips were an indicator of how close you were to kissing him. Truly, you could kiss him if you wanted to, needing only to relax your neck and let your head fall to close the rest of the minimal gap between you. He looked up at you with wide eyes, holding onto your gaze with an unreadable expression on his face.

All you saw, however, was a small mole dotting the underside of his lips. Fuck, you wanted to kiss Taehyung and rid yourself of the nightmare, but you couldn’t shake the sensation of how wrong it felt to kiss anyone but Jungkook.

“Y/N,” Taehyung called your name cautiously and pulled you from your thoughts. Instantly, your eyes welled with tears at the realization of how fucked you were.

You yanked yourself from him with abandon, needing to get far away from the reminder that you couldn’t move on.

Kim Taehyung was mature. He was kind and respectful- everything you could ask for in a man- yet the thoughts of Jungkook and the good memories you had with him outweighed the bad, preventing you from truly letting go.

Before Taehyung could protest, you stood and left him on the ice, making for a quick exit. You wanted to go back and help him up so that he wasn’t in danger, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at his face in this setting.

Instead, you skated off the rink and walked to the skate rental area, plopping down on the bench weakly to untie the laces. Once you did so, you set them on the counter and waited for your boots with your eyes on the ground. You didn’t want anyone to see you on the brink of crying.

“Y/N!” Taehyung’s voice was loud and attention-grabbing. You had half the mind to be concerned that he would cause people to notice him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as you finally got your boots and rushed to put them on. Taehyung was finally off the ice when you slid the first boot on.

“Y/N,” He called your name again, awkwardly approaching you with the blades still on his feet. “Please, talk to me.”

You could only sniffle in response and continue to put your boots back on, a fresh wave of tears welling in your eyes and threatening to spill onto your cheeks. You’d kept them at bay thus far but Taehyung was making it extremely difficult as his comfort approached you. The welcome yet heartbreaking aura he exhumed paired with your teetering emotional stability wouldn’t fare well in such a public setting.

Without hesitation, you stood and walked away once you were done securing your shoes back on your feet. Again, you felt the urgent need to be alone.

And again, Taehyung was right behind you as he ran without putting his shoes back on.

“Y/N!” He grabbed you as he called your name more sternly, forcing you to face him. Your eyes met his briefly before you looked back down to the pavement and cursed yourself once a tear slipped out. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Because I-” Your breath caught in your throat as it constricted due to the beginning of a sob building in your chest. You cleared your throat and struggled to breathe your way through your response- one you had trouble communicating. “-I just can’t.”

Taehyung grimaced, looking around with concern, before he ushered your body to begin walking away from the busy area.

Once you were a good distance down the street, he grabbed both of your shoulders and forced you to face him once again. Away from the well-lit area of the ice rink, the only light that shone in the middle of the dark night was that of the street lights. With bated breath, you looked up at your friend with your mouth closed tightly so that the sob in your chest wouldn’t come barging past your lips.

The pain was nearly unbearable. It anguished you, knowing that you were stupid enough to think that you could eventually move on from Jungkook. It pained you, being aware of the fact that Taehyung had offered himself to you and you did nothing but continue to look at Jungkook.

But most of all, it hurt that you still wanted Jungkook.

If only you could reach into your chest and tear your heart out so that you couldn’t feel anymore. If only you could shut off your feelings so that it didn’t agonize you like this. If only it were that easy.

Under the light of the street lamps with Taehyung’s look of pity- the one he held as he looked at you across the club on that dreadful night those few years ago- on you, you broke.

As you began sobbing, Taehyung pulled you against his body and backed up into the darkness to give you the privacy to cry without being seen.

The pain stabbed your heart repeatedly; quick blows, shallow at first, became increasingly deep as you drowned in the memories of what once was.

Falling so passionately in love became your biggest regret. For so long, you hated the idea. You hated the fact that you still loved Jungkook notwithstanding the things he had done. You denied the fact until you started seeing the good memories again- until it was an unavoidable and objective truth.

The truth that you still loved him.

As Taehyung held you tightly in his embrace while you held your hands to your face and dug your nails into your skin, you sobbed uncontrollably at how completely and royally fucked you were.

“W-why-” You blubbered into your palms. “-why do I-I still lo-ove him?”

“Because your heart wants what it wants, Y/N. You have no control over that.”

At this point, you had to tell him how you felt- how you truly felt.

“I w-wish that it wa-anted you. I’m so sorry, T-Tae.”

“Hey, now. Don’t say that. It’s a waste of time to wish for things that you have no control over. Don’t waste a wish on something stupid like that.” Taehyung pressed his face to the top of your head, pressing his lips there to leave a small kiss. “Besides, I have someone waiting for me back home so you don’t need to worry anymore.”

Instantly, you looked up at him in shock while still hiccuping. “You do?”

“Of course.” Taehyung laughed warmly, smiling down at you. “I wasn’t gonna be stuck on you forever. One way or another, you move on.”

“It’s been years since I’ve even seen him, Tae. The fact that I still haven’t moved on despite that has to tell you something.”

“Which is why I told you that you still need to talk to him. You can’t move on or do anything about the way you feel unless you communicate it.” He pulled back to bend his body to become eye-level with you so that he could look you in the eyes as he spoke. “There’s things you don’t know.”

For a moment, you weighed his words in your mind. If they’re things that Taehyung can’t tell you because they’re ‘not his place’ to say, then you figure that the matter must be a serious one. Your curiosity was getting the best of you. It wasn’t long before you gave in.

“Yeah…” You trailed off in hesitation, suddenly regretting shutting out Jungkook. “I guess I do need to talk to him.”

“Please just… take your time and be patient with him.” Taehyung winced slightly. “He’s hot-headed but he’s a lot better than he was before. I promise you that.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Taehyung.” You scowled as you backed out of his embrace.

“You know I don’t. I would never suggest that you talk to him if he was the same as he was before.”

A few beats of silence passed before you asked the question that had been nagging at your mind since your revelation of remaining love for the lead singer of BTS.

“Do you think we still have a chance?”

Taehyung answered immediately. “That’s not my place to judge. All I know is that you guys did something sad like being broke up even though you had life.”

“Good god, Tae,” You huffed out a laugh. “Are you quoting Lil Dicky right now?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.” Taehyung crossed his arms and let out a small ‘hmph’ as he lightly stomped his foot onto the sidewalk. “And you can’t stop me.”

For a while, Taehyung let you catch your breath and calm down while looking up and down the street. It seemed as if he was planning something.

Before you could process what he was doing, Taehyung took you by your arm, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, and began walking across the street. You looked up in the direction of your path and noticed that you were heading towards the quaint coffee shop that seemed to be the only open place at the current hour.

Your eyes hurt from crying. Your chest ached from sobbing and hiccuping. Your heart and head hurt as they came to blows with each other. You were slowly beginning to freeze as the calming of your emotions slowed your heart and cooled your body. It was so fucking cold.

You could use a coffee right about now.

~#~

Thank you for reading, reader! If you’d like to check out the rest of my work, feel free to visit my Masterlist!

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dangermousie · 4 years ago

Text

2020 End of Year Post - cdrama edition

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2020; if I had to make a post about all the cdramas I watched this year, I would still be doing it in three months...

Overall it’s been a fairly decent cdrama year (certainly better than the very lacklustre kdrama year.) It’s no miracle that 2019 was (so many excellent dramas!) but overall pretty solid.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

44 The Legend of Jing Yan - the worst cdrama I have seen this year, and possibly the worst drama of 2020, period. The hero and heroine were both uncharismatic, incapable of acting and saddled with such shrilly moronic characters, the only suspense was how they haven’t both perished long since from forgetting to breathe. Nor was anyone in the rest of the cast much better; the screenplay was written by a lower mammal and the cinematography was the best a third-rate wedding cinematographer could offer. Stay the HELL away from this one.

43 Unicorn Girl - the only unicorn about this bland yet irritating piece of pap was the fact that I was supposed to believe the leads are hockey players.

42 Autumn Cicada - I like spy stories, Allen Ren, and Republican Era settings. I can tune out Communist propaganda with the best of them. Yet, the propaganda ate the story to such a degree that there was nothing left; pre magic change Pinocchio was less wooden then this narrative.

41 You Complete Me - no you do not.

40 Skate into Love - the only positive thing I can say about this is that at least it’s better than Unicorn Girl, if for no other reason that only one of them is supposed to be a hockey player.

39 Irreplaceable Love - how do you make a story about fake siblings with a mad mother falling for each other boring? I don’t know, ask the makers of this.

38 Eternal Love Rain - I hate to rain on their parade, but these two actors cannot act, have about as much chemistry as a piece of bread, and are trapped in a story perfect for entertaining the mental abilities of the leads of Jin Yan.

37 For Married Doctoress - ummmm, you could do worse I guess. It only made me break out in mild hives. The sadistic ending did make me laugh though.

36 Dance of the Sky Empire - why you get Xu Kai and waste him in this insipid mess of a story is beyond me.

35 Love Designer - it’s inoffensive except to my sense of entertainment. There is nothing wrong with it but oh God is it bland.

34 Love a Lifetime - It felt like a lifetime watching this, but I didn’t love it. The story is incoherent, the actors have no chemistry and it’s all an epic waste of time.

33 Love is Sweet - so sweet it gave me diabetes. I like Luo Yunxi and Bai Lu, but there is literally no plot. I don’t need to sink into a plotless morass to watch pretty people engage in PG-rated make-outs. I am an adult with access to stronger stuff if I am thus inclined, though to be fair they could get x-rated and I still wouldn’t be able to sit through so many episodes of plotlessness for that.

32 Fake Princess - I love Zhao Yi Qin, but the guy needs to pick better projects. The female lead in this one has the voice and personality that can strip paint but the story is also doing nobody any favors.

31 The Changan Youth - I lost my brain checking this out. I had to go and read a dense treatise on medieval coinage or Mayan farming to try to recover it.

30 My Dear Destiny - kinda cheesy fun. It honestly shouldn’t be as low except it really feels like community theater.

29 Handsome Siblings - why is the Nic Tse version so good and this one so bad? True mystery for the ages. Chen Zhe Yuan is the sole reason this isn’t lower, because that kid tries SO HARD to make this drama bearable and almost succeeds. I can’t wait to see him in Sha Po Lang which actually will give him something to do.

28 In a Class of Her Own - see my comment on The Changan Youth. But at least Song Weilong is gorgeous to look at.

27 General’s Lady - inoffensive, pretty and so utterly pointless.

26 The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion - those two leading actors are a no go to me but at least they considerately acted with each other instead of ruining two dramas for me. It’s very pretty though.

25 Jiu Liu Overlord - it’s a mess and I bailed, but I placed it this high merely due to the fact that Lai Yi finally gets a leading role and he’s sexy as fuck and I am shallow. Whoever styled Bai Lu should never work again except at a circus, however.

24 Cross Fire - not my genre and Luhan will always look too much like my cousin for comfort, but it’s a surprisingly gripping and dark drama. I liked it!

23 God of Lost Fantasy - if you want to watch a mediocre wuxia/xianxia, this is not a bad choice. Probably better than Legend of Fei actually, because at least it doesn’t have an A-list cast to waste and gives us Sheng Yilun himbo and shirtless.

22 Renascence - the insane cuts (it went from 70 eps to 36!!!) made a fairly cheesy story into a total mess. But I had a good time until I finally bailed mainly because of the male lead (Chen Zhe Yuan yet again carrying a not-good 2020 drama on his shoulders; the guy should be nicknamed Atlas) and the insane but in a fun way story. The female lead (both the character and the actress) were not up to par but oh well.

21 Legend of Fei - only this high because objectively there is nothing I disliked it. But there is nothing I liked either. The most uninspired drama on the list. If you could eat cardboard, this is what it would taste like.

20 Ever Night 2 - compared to EN1, it’s a waste of film. On its own merits, it’s not very good (the cast replacements are uniformly inferior and Dylan Wang is so wrong for Ning Que I cannot even put it into words; the script is useless.) But it had some parts I loved so very VERY much (all the shippy stuff was perfection) so I don’t feel too bitter.

19 Castle in the Sky 2 - a lovely if not too complex fairy tale. It is inferior to its prequel because it doesn’t have Zhang Ruo Yun who elevated it, but it’s still a solid bit of fun.

18 The Great Ruler - it’s very high fantasy, very pretty, and surprisingly involving.

17 (tie) Legend of Two Sisters in the Chaos - the secondary couple steals the show but the rest is not too bad if not too involving.

17 Legend of Awakening - a solid bit of fun with a seriously BDSM streak (theme this year apparently - but come on, the lead’s powers only activate when he’s in extreme pain!) It’s a bit generic and the costuming is done by a blind person, not to mention the OTP is a NOTP, but the rest of relationships (romantic and platonic) are wonderful (I live for the found siblings story in this one) and I like most of the characters.

16 Consummation - a rare modern cdrama I liked; a sweet coming of age story (and love story) even if wrapped in a pretty weird virtual reality concept.

15 Oops the King is in Love - this is how you do a low budget, sweet, silly piece of fluff. Our heroine pretends to be a eunuch and crosses paths with a powerless young king and they are adorable, even more so than the drama.

14 Song of Glory - pretty solid, though draggy and I didn’t love the toothpaste filter. But A+ cast, excellent leading couple chemistry, Li Qin being a BAMF and a leading man (Qin Hao) who is actually an adult.

13 And the Winner is love - objectively kind of a mess (and the heroine has the brainpower of a gnat), but the OTP chemistry is excellent and Luo Yunxi fighting and flirting with a fan as finally a leading man is worth the price of admission.

12 Miss S - snazzy and snappy and stylish and whatever else starts with S.

11 Eternal Love of Dream - I don’t know if it would work for you as well if you weren’t a hardcore shipper for this OTP in Three Lives but I was and this was such a darling, wonderful, shippy delight; plus I love this type of high fantasy.

10 (tie) Maiden Holmes - solid and sweet and a wonderful OTP. Proves that functional doesn’t have to mean boring. If you watch one cross-dressing drama this year make it this one.

10 Qin Dynasty Epic - srs bsns history epic. I am not far into it but it’s so good and smart and visually stunning (if you love battles, this one is for you.)

9 Love Lasts Two Minds - I adored this so much more than I should objectively have, but it’s so beautiful (and no I am not just referring to Alan Yu’s face) and the OTP has wonderful chemistry and the story is solid, and the whole trope of her memory being wiped but falling for him all over again while he’s constantly and utterly devoted is a fave; plus he’s in pain and semi-dyng for most of it so sluuuurp (happy ending, don’t worry)

8 To Love - yes, a modern drama is this high! But it involves intensity, tragedy, genuine adults and sexiness that is Lin Gengxin. And there is an actual plot and darkness OMG!

7 Legend of Xiao Chuo - so beautiful, so fun, so full of gorgeousness of Shawn Dou. Plus, Liao is a rare setting for a cdrama and there are a lot of characters and stories I liked a LOT. Less ship content than I wanted but more than I expected.

6 The Romance of Tiger and Rose - so so delightful. I was literally laughing out loud. I have no idea if it will work as well if one isn’t a seasoned watcher of period cdrama/reader of web novels, with bonus for watching/reading Goodbye My Princess, but it was a complete delight for me (and yes, I shipped for real, as well. Best of both worlds.)

5 Twisted Fate of Love - Jin Han gets a leading period drama role! And he’s enjoying it to the hilt, excellent as a smart, twisty bastard who is also charming and so madly in love with heroine. Sun Yi is beautiful and tough and her chemistry with JH is on fire, the story never drags, and it’s so twisty and fun and just awesome.

4 Love In Between - the most underrated drama on this list. It has no big names or big budget, but it’s wuxia that’s clever, driven, tragic, hopeful and so beautifully shot. Three separate (amazing) OTPs, a leading man who is so not typical (a doctor who cannot fight and who never acquires this ability) and who is intense and smart and damaged, a heroine who puts her quest ahead of her emotions, an unhealthy degree of involvement by yours truly. This is a drama Fei should have been.

3 Love and Redemption - such a lovely, addictive, utterly romantic fairy tale. I was obsessed with it for a reason. All the tropes you love and some you didn’t know you did, a star-crossed OTP to the nth power (and a secondary OTP I hardcore love), a twisty yet coherent plot, some insane chemistry and so much whump and hurt/comfort they must have bought blood packets in bulk.

2 Go Ahead - yes, I can’t believe it either. A contemporary slice of life cdrama made it this high on my list. But the way it feels so real, the found family perfection, the characters I love and loathe, the perfect cherry of a wonderful OTP that hits my narrative kinks on top, and just a perfect storm of loveliness all around with this one.

1 The Wolf - is that any surprise to anyone who’s checked out this tumblr for the last couple of months? Tragic, intense and gorgeous; so romantic and angsty and passionate it made me lose my mind (though some of it was gone the moment the camera panned to Darren Wang) - all my favorite tropes and then some; this is a drama that may not be perfect but it is 100% and then beyond perfect for ME.

FAVORITE DRAMA

The Wolf - I have seen objectively better cdramas; even this year. But it has been literal years since I have been this hardcore obsessed, this utterly pleased, this emotionally catered to and devastated at once. A beautiful dark fairy tale that manages to own me despite the storytelling gaps due to censorship, it took me for one of the biggest emotional roller coaster rides of my drama watching career. Visually gorgeous, poetic, intense, and so romantic it took my breath away, this is not just my favorite cdrama of 2020, it’s my favorite drama this year period, and the one cdrama this year to make it into my permanent Top 10 cdramas list.

WORST DRAMA

Legend of Jin Yan - see my write up for it for why as I refuse to waste more time on this stupid mess.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Wolfie, The Wolf - he is such a haunted, tormented, complex, dark mess; loving and violent, severely damaged and with a hidden yearning softness, longing and aloof. And the amount of charisma and sheer masculine sex appeal Darren Wang brings to the role is insane and not something I see much of in a cdrama. Plus, that character arc with its rapid fall and slow painful redemption is A++++

Runner Up: Sifeng, Love and Redemption - has a male lead ever loved more utterly and selflessly, suffered more thoroughly and beautifully, and managed to have such chemistry with both his leading lady and his leading man (that his leading lady temporarily turned into) at once? The answer is no.

Almost made the cut - Feng Xi, Twisted Fate of Love, Han Shuo, The Romance of Tiger and Rose, Qing Ci, Love in Between.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Xiao Qian, The Romance of Tiger and Rose - so funny, so much the reason this drama was such a delight. I adore her beyond words.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Murder Daddy, The Wolf - I am sad the censors robbed us of seeing him die on screen. He was fully human but nonetheless managed to be the worst monster in a drama full of literal ones.

Ling Xiao’s Mom, Go Ahead - I hate her so much I don’t want to look up her name. She abused the kid, the disappeared and came back to abuse him some more. I mean she literally gave her child mental health issues. She is the WORST.

FAVORITE SHIP

Xing’er x Wolfie, The Wolf - are you kidding me? Who else could it ever be for me? They destroyed each other and saved each other, sworn enemies and childhood lovers, soulmates and epic messes, they couldn’t live with or without each other. The longing, the passion, the intensity, the angst, the epicness. LIKE THERE ARE NO WORDS!!!!

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Si Yuan, Shen Manqing, Love in Between - I loved them as much and often more than the main OTP. So much angst and passion and a happy ending! She is a seeming sect darling (except the sect is horrible and also sexist so her only worth is as a marriage candidate) and he’s an information broker who is actually one of the members of a destroyed sect that’s blamed for the massacre of her family. That chemistry and yearning is insane. The scene where she touches his face when he’s unconscious was in serious running for my favorite scene of 2020.

NOTP

Legend of Awakening - I have never seen a couple that didn’t just have no chemistry but exhibited actual revulsion towards each other before watching Chen Feiyu and Cheng Xiao try to act as lovers in this one. It was almost entertaining to be honest.

FAVORITE SCENE

It’s a tie and both are from The Wolf. One is a sequence where Wolfie marches to the walls alone, seeking death at Xing’er’s hands and the whole sequence with the battle and rescue follows. The other is the intercut between Xing’er going to her wedding and Wolfie going to his execution, and the auto-da-fe being intercut with her wedding.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Wolfie, The Wolf - Ummm have you seen this tumblr lately, it’s basically a drool shrine to the man.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Yelü Yansage, The Legend of Xiao Chuo - I have loved this actor since The Myth and he continued to competently steal every scene he was in.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

To Love - come out of the coma, dammit!!!!!!!

NEEDS A DIRECTOR’S CUT

The Wolf - duh. It started out as 59 eps and got cut to 49. I reaiize some stuff is never gonna get put in due to censorship, but some of the stuff that got cut got for time reasons because they were deluded and hoping to get a TV broadcast so ep count had to be under 50. I mean I doubt the censors would care if they kept scenes of Wolfie building her a swing or whatever. I really really want a director’s cut the way Goodbye My Princess did even if like with GMP it’s only three extra eps. Hell, I will take extra three minutes, as long as those three minutes are Darren Wang shirtless or with a sword. Ahem.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

The Song of Glory - it’s a fairly solid drama but honestly it didn’t need to be as long as it was and kind of got draggy and I got lost interest. (I could have gotten snarky and said all the dramas I didn’t like needed scissors taken to them in their entirety but decided to play nice.)

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

There are a number of dramas I could complain about with regard to this (hi there, darling The Wolf!) but this award goes to Renascence - poor Renascence was never going to be a masterpiece, but it had the potential to be a bit of good cheesy fun until it had its run time cut by more than half and became an incoherent piece of insanity.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Dumb shrill innocent heroine who can’t tie her shoes - see basically all the cdramas I didn’t like this year.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Male lead torture - I mean it’s always open season on that in cdramas, but between Love and Redemption, The Wolf, Love Lasts Two Minds, Love in Between and so on, it was a banner year!

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Legend of Fei - what a waste of that cast; what a waste of our finite time on this Earth. What a waste of my intelligence to hope for something better and stick with it for a dozen eps. I have had stale wonderbread that had more personality than this drama.There is absolutely nothing that stands out about this drama in any way, from half-dimensional characters, to actors who are sleepwalking, to a plot that moves at the speed of an arthritic snail, to uninspired cinematography and direction, to lack of any chemistry between anyone in the cast. If paint-by-numbers was done by a group of particularly linear robots, it might come across the same way as this drama.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

The Wolf - honestly, I did not expect it to come out AT ALL EVER let alone to become my favorite drama of 2020. I was not familiar with the leading man (hahah), I liked Li Qin but wasn’t yet obsessed with her, and Xiao Zhan was excellent in The Untamed but I was hardly going to follow him from drama to drama (and I don’t do SLS any way.) And the trailer was enjoyable but unlike seemingly everyone, I didn’t think it was going to be some epic masterpiece. And then it came out and while it wasn’t objectively an epic masterpiece, it pulled out all the favorite tropes, shippy and narrative kinks from the deepest darkest recesses of my id. And I fell harder than I have in years.

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

Novoland Eagle Flag and Joy of Life - they are in my Top 10 dramas from anywhere now. They are quite different except being smart and giving me protagonists to obsess over.

ETA: Also The Untamed because @idlewilds3 pointed out I actually watched it in 2020 even though I didn’t think so because this hellyear has lasted about three decades.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

I am gonna limit it to dozen and leaving out ones that aren’t necesarily supposed to air next year (Joy of Life 2, Love in Flames of War, Novoland Princess from Plateau.)

Monarch Industry, Novoland Pearl Eclipse, Silk Washing Stream, Dream of Changan, Sword Snow Stride, Wu Xing Shi Jia, Ancient Love Poetry, Immortality, The Long Ballad, Mirror Twin Cities, The Imperial Age, Fall In Love

221 notes · View notes

michals · 3 years ago

Note

May I request some Luther & the showgirls working for Jack, as they seem to get along well. Though it seems like you already got quite a few requests, so feel perfectly free to ignore this. Hope the muse will become a bit more cooperative <3.

Thanks for your patience with this, sorry took a little longer than expected! Put a little bit of asexual Luther in here, hope that's okay. Also this is Gordo and this is Valentina.

Luther’s dinner is interrupted when a newspaper appears in front of his face.

“Look at this Lulu!” Patsy chirps over his shoulder as she holds it, “First woman in space! Can you believe it?”

“Not even long after the men,” Sandra says, leaning on the bar next to him, proud smirk on her face.

Luther takes the paper, acts like he’s surprised, like he didn’t already know. “Wow, look at that!” he says.

He’d learned about Valentina Tereshkova when he was just a kid, hell he’d been able to list all the Mercury Seven by the time he was four. He’d been upset, actually, that he’d been dropped at the tail end of December 1962 and had missed almost all their flights. At the very least he’d seen Gordo go up, the first to stay up for a whole day. Despite how he got here Luther’ll remember that as one of his favorite days of his life.

“A woman,” Marvin the bartender mutters as he sweeps up behind the counter, “and a Russian at that!” He scoffs and shakes his head.

Luther bites back a smile, Marvin’s gonna be real disappointed by a whole lot of things if he lives a lot longer.

“Hush, you,” Patsy says, shaking her hands at him, “you gotta start being more modern, like Luther.” He rolls his eyes and keeps sweeping.

“Nice to have some forward thinking men ‘round here,” Sandra says, leaning over the bar to grab a bottle of brandy. She was the one who’d given Luther a tour of the place, had teased him when he’d looked away as they passed the changing room.

She pours herself a glass, tips the bottle Luther’s way. He nods and lets her top off the glass at his elbow. He says, “Thank you.” They love how polite he is.

The girls all like him, or seem to at least. Luther’s never been anywhere that…well, anywhere, ever, especially where he’s around actual people. He acts how he’s sure he’s supposed to act and so far it’s working. This is still new, even months later; he wonders often if the day’s gonna come when he slips up and reveals a whole lot about himself they won't understand.

But he does like them, that's true. “How’s Bobby?” He asks.

“That lout!” Sandra says, rolling her eyes, holding up her left hand. “The day I get a ring on this finger is the day the saints come marching just for me.” She and Luther take a drink together.

Autumn bustles through the door then, gives a cheerful hello as she comes up to the bar, setting down a Tupperware container.

“Tell me those are lemon bars,” Patsy says, peering over them with a grin.

“Ma made ‘em this afternoon,” Autumn says, cracking open the lid to give her a peek. She points a finger at Luther, “And you’re gonna take some this time mister, none of that ‘no sugar’ nonsense.”

Luther gives an apologetic smile, “I have a fight tomorrow.” He’s always had a strict diet, his whole life, to keep in fighting shape. Sugar was a luxury saved for mom’s birthday cakes. He’s found it’s not all that different- training for dad’s missions or Jack’s matches. It’s alright though, he’s used to it, even if the lemon bars are tempting.

“Again, so soon?” Autumn’s expression turns concerned, “This hasn’t even healed yet!”

She reaches out towards him, to the cut that sits over his right eyebrow still sporting three stitches, but doesn’t actually touch. The girls are sweet, used to being flirty with patrons, but they’d learned within the first week that Luther was strange about physical touch. They’ve all been careful about it ever since, an unspoken agreement between him and them. He’s embarrassed by it, he tells himself it’s a stupid hang up to have, but it’s a relief and he’s thankful to them for it.

“It’s really not that bad,” he assures her. He heals fast, he can’t tell them why though. “I just won’t get hit there again.” He already knows he won’t, but he can’t tell them that either.

“Jack!” Autumn calls, looking over Luther’s shoulder and he turns to see Jack arriving, starting across the room to his office. He doesn’t look up from the papers in his hands.

“Yeah? What now?”

Sandra twists in her seat, “You gotta give Luther a break! You’re gonna ruin that pretty face!”

Luther ducks his head, tries not to blush. The only times he’s been called ‘pretty’ or ‘handsome’ was in some magazines when he got older. He doesn’t think of himself that way, especially now.

“Pretty face isn’t what keeps the lights on girls, it’s the muscles,” Jack says.

That’s always why Luther’s been useful.

Jack stops outside his office door, “Those lemon bars? Save a few for me.”

“Of course Jack,” Autumn says with a smile. The girls like Jack, he’s easy to work for.

Music comes on as Marvin puts a record on, a signal for the girls to start getting ready. Patsy whines that she wants to listen to Elvis Presley and Sandra says of course she does. Patsy gives Marvin doll eyes and he relents and the song switches, ‘There’s Always Me’ filling the bar with Elvis’s smooth voice. Luther likes it enough but some days he misses Cyndi Lauper fiercely.

“Promise?” Autumn says, still behind the counter, looking at Luther with a soft expression, “That you won’t get hit there again? It’s gonna leave a nasty scar.”

Luther gives his best reassuring look, “Promise.” He can’t tell her it’s all planned, every punch and kick. Luther spent 24 years of his life training to fight much worse people than some thugs in an dirt floor ring in a shack, every hit he takes is on purpose. Jack’s the only one who knows something’s a little off about Luther and he says he has to bleed a little, can’t make it look too easy.

Luther sees it as a requirement, a small sacrifice. He’s got a room and a job and free meals, and he knows he’s gonna win the fight anyway. What else is he supposed to do? He was dropped in the middle of nowhere, decades out of time, and dad…well, he won’t help. He tries not to think about how dad spoke to him that day, about the look on his face.

Autumn smiles like she’ll believe him for now, then takes the Tupperware with her off to the backroom to change. Luther finishes his dinner and drink alone at the bar until the first patrons show up, rubbing their hands together in excitement, eyes on the stage even as they order drinks. Luther starts his rounds.

It’s an easy job, he just mills around, warns the guys who get too loud, shoves out anyone who gets too rowdy or handsy. There’s strict rules on how exactly the men interact with the women and Luther makes sure everyone knows it. And he always makes sure Jack’s happy.

Luther’s not really interested in all the skin on display, he never has been. It’s another item he’s added to the list of ways he doesn’t quite fit; he’s supposed to like this kind of thing isn’t he? All “red blooded American men” like it, that’s what Jack says. Luther just nods, says, “yeah, of course”; something’s always told Luther it’s just not for him..

“You’re not a slobbering goon like the rest of the guys in this place,” Patsy had told him once after he’d thrown out some guy who got too bold, “You’re a real gentleman.” But he doesn’t understand how he couldn’t be, not with them, and that’s not even because of the other thing.

The night goes well enough, he only has to talk down a group of sailors who get too noisy but they get an eyeful of him and simmer down. Autumn makes her rounds, comes up to him at one point.

“Can I ask a favor Lu?”

“Always.”

“Well April borrowed my car yesterday and left it with a flat, didn’t bother to tell me-”

“Oh April,” Luther says, shaking his head. He’s used to these kinds of stories about her sister.

“I know right? That girl, I swear. Anyway, I was wondering if you’d walk me home tonight?”

“Of course,” Luther says, “I’ll check with Jack, make sure he doesn’t have anything for me at close.”

She beams at him, “Thanks Lu, you’re the best.”

He has to check with Jack because he’s got to put Jack first, it’s just part of the deal. He doesn’t have anything to do with parts of Jack’s business, parts that he doesn’t look into or think about too much. There’s an irony there about being a former superhero working for…whatever Jack is, but he has to run errands, sometimes even at 2 a.m. But tonight he’s free, Jack waves him off saying, “Yeah yeah, make sure my girls get home safe.”

Autumn’s waiting by the door in her street clothes when Luther finishes with Jack. Marvin locks the door behind them as they step out onto the quiet street.

Autumn gives a sly look as she opens up the Tupperware container, now half empty. “Come on now, you’re gonna make my ma real sad if you don’t at least try one.”

Luther purses his lip against a smile, sighs. “A bite.”

Autumn’s nearly giddy as he breaks off a piece, pops it in his mouth. She watches him expectantly. “Your mom’s an amazing baker,” he says and she grins proudly.

It is amazing, reminds Luther of a lemon cake mom had made when they turned 14.

The night is quiet and warm, the only place still open is the 24 hour diner down the road. Autumn says she likes their pancakes but other than that they don’t talk much. Luther finds it’s kind of nice that they don’t have to.

Her place isn’t far and he stays to watch her unlock the door and go in, she gives a wave as he stands at the gate.

It’s a longer walk back to his place from here but he doesn’t mind it. He never just walked around his neighborhood, back when he lived at the Academy. He wonders how different it might all be if he did. He tells himself it’s not a thought worth wondering though, he’s here, there’s no changing it, all he can do is make the best of it, but he’s got a few people who make it easier. He looks towards the sky, thinks about Valentina passing overhead.

#tua fic #umbrella academy fic #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #my fic #t.ua #i got one more prompt on the docket i haven't forgotten!

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chaos-deimos-et-eris · 3 years ago

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"I need to do this. Zuko, Z-zuzu you know, you understand. He will find this amusing. Father will give me more time." Her eyes were blown wide with fear, silent tears streaming down her checks. He remembers when she would come crying to him like this when they were children.

She had been tiny then, still whole, but oh so very strong. Head held high, she would wait until the servents cleared his rooms before collapsing into sobs. There had been precious little that could make her cry even then, and Father had started desensitizing them to death early. But Azula, so small, so young, hadn't taken well to the lessons, not yet.

Zuko's family was filled with monsters. He wasn't the exception. He had stared at her, with all the love an older sibling could give to a little sister, and broken her so Father couldn't, like he had done to him.

He remembers comforting her, fixing her crown and wiping her face, before taking her small hand into his and sneaking into the prison. He remembers bribing the guards at the end of every lesson with silk cloth, leather shoes, and embroidered bags of rice, and teaching her how to hurt humans so Father wouldn't have to.

His fingers curl on top of hers-so old, already fourteen and her hands are still so small-like they use to, giving her strength, guiding her blade. He leans forward, grunting a little as the blade slides all the way to the hilt, to whisper advise in her ear.

"Twist the blade until the edge faces up. A hole will be harder and more painful to heal then a tear."

Her breath hitches in the next inhale, but she does not sob like she use to. He feels so proud of her, of her strength and at her resolve when the pain in his abdomen flares white hot. Zuko stumbles, but he catches himself before he can fall on Azula because he refuses to let his little sister deal with more then what she has to before she needs to. He hates to break her even more at all but he needs to.

Father had broken him with his love, and raged and stomped on him when his sharp edges didn't poke out to hurt anyone but himself. Father had picked and prodded at him until his insides were glass sand, not big enough to break free but sharp enough to hurt with each step, to tear his lungs with each breath and scrap at his bones.

He couldn't have left Azula with Father. But he also couldn't leave her with Mother who picked up and dropped her glass children equally and without warning, disgusted by the shards they left behind. Or Uncle, who sanded down his edges for them, but who's shaving floated in the air to cut bite and sting nor their cousin who's molten glass center ran so hot that his sheer presence fixed him and unavailablity left a void so cold he broke all over again. He had broken her so Father wouldn't feel the need to, so Mother's love and indifference wouldn't leave her desperate to please and hurting, so Uncle's careless words wouldn't cut into her skin and bury into her heart, so she would keep herself at a distance with their cousin and not break at his very absence.

Azula, better then him at everything, had broken in a way to hurt others, she learned to fit the pieces of herself to walk without hurting, had lived under Father's approval without falling victim to it as he had. When Father had burned half of his face and cruelly given him hope in the form of an impossible task, he had chased even whispers of it, not to come back to his sister or people, nor had he after a twisted sense of loyalty to the Fire Lord but out of nessercery. He had needed to go back home to the fire and pain, where burns and words and exhaustion would melt the glass whole again and grant him rest until the next time Father had him shattered.

Blood slipped through his fingers and reached hers despite his best efforts. He hoped his glass wouldn't sting her too badly or for too long.

"Good," he praised. She had always needed praise when she got like this when they were little. She was still so small. "Now run the knife up and stop before the heart."

He refused to leave her without instruction, to leave her alone while she was still so frail. He had always imagined himself a quick death, earth on the battlefield, the jumping in front of the blade of an assassin, tasting poison and warning his family before he passed, but for her he would hold on as long as he could. He curls up as metal tears his insides, muffling his scream on her shoulder to try to give her more time. Briefly, he stares at the ceiling and its glowing green stalactites and wonders when he ended up on the ground.

Her face is there, lips parted in shock, eyes bright with unshed tears. She won't let them fall again but he thinks it might of been nice for someone to publicly mourn him. He figures it won't matter to him for much longer anyway.

Her hand, still on the knife, shakes so he musters up the strength to lift his to hold to hers, but he forgets to factor in gravity and his vision goes white when he accidently shifts the knife inside him. Her eyes are dead when he comes back to, and part of him is comforted by the fact that in their three years apart, this part of her still hasn't changed. But his time is running out and he needs to tell her how to sell this to Father.

"Tell him... tell him-" his throat is dry and he can't shallow but he needs to finish this. Azula, so smart, so old, so small, sees and leans to hear better. He hears the screams and booms of battle but they sound far away from their little bubble. He wonders why the Avartar and his teachers haven't yet left.

"Tell him what knife you used. He'll ... he'll find it funny if you tell ... Uncle." It would hurt him to learn that the knife he gifted him would be the thing to kill him but-

"It will be enough to excuse my lack of fire," her eyes widen as realization sets in.

Azula was p e r f e c t; Uncle had betrayed their country, he could suffer the consequences.

The edges of his vision darken. He needs to hurry.

"Do," he tastes blood in the back of his throat. It feels like shards. "Do what you need to . . . to survive." Lie, steal, kill. Kill Father or the Avatar.

"You were always better the second time." These words come out like a whisper but by the widening of her eyes he knows she heard, can tell she understands. He hates doing this to her but the sounds of fighting are getting closer. They're almost here now.

"Lala, you're perfect."

Her face blanks. Azula isn't perfect, not yet, but she will tear herself and anyone opposing her apart for the next hour trying to be. As long as she gets out of this alive he doesn't care. Ty Lee and Mai have always been able to put her back together.

She stands smoothly, taking the knife with her. He barely feels it.

Blue eyes and dark skin replace her. He doesn't know his name but he can see him panicking. He wonders why. Pain flares up as he applys pressure to his wound and he no longer cares. Water Tribe can go die.

The scene starts moving and pain flares up periodically. Azula screams words. He doesn't know what she said but he wants to stay. He claws at blues and trys to summon fire but his inner fire is just dying embers now. He gets pulled in tighter. He wonders if the blue will let him go if he pukes.

Suddenly there is wind and stars and he is oh so very cold. Water smothers the last of his inner flames and agonizingly knits him back together. It hurts less as it continues. Zuko knows it is not a good thing. Water can heal but it cannot replace blood. He will die and Azula will be safe because of it.

Faces surround him with worry but he doesn't want them. He wants the sister he raised, the uncle that tried, the girls who already mourned him once and shouldn't have to again. He don't want enemies and strangers. But he never gets what he wants. He used up all his luck being born.

He looks at the stars and trys to will the sunrise. He knows it will not come. Zuko had been born at night away from Agni' presence. He was probably destined to die away from it too. He still hopes for the warmth of His rays.

His breath shallows. He hears Lu Ten's voice humming a song loud and clear and his mind fills in the lyrics of a soilder coming home from war. In the distant he notices the warm laughter of his lady grandmother, the grumbling voice of his grand sire, the quacking of turtleducks and the overwhelming sent of fire lilies. He briefly wonder about the whereabouts of Mother.

The sounds get louder. Home.

Over the sky of Ba Sing Se, the sound of sobs get muffled into warm bodies as faces turn to hide away from the glare of the rising sun.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #zuko and azula #Zuko #Azula #Ozai messed both of them up #Both of them are terrified of Ozai #Is Azula screaming in the background to Iroh about how he killed Zuko even if she was the one who stabbed him?#Yes. Yes she is.#Do I think Ursa loved her children just didnt know how to deal with them?#Yes #Do I think children that were raised to act differently depending on who they were with see her not acting consistently as sus?#Also yes #That last line was just there to confirm that Zuko died without the sunlight he wanted #fanfiction #because it was two am and I wanted to cry but ao3 didn’t have the exact thing I was looking for

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jokertrap-ran · 3 years ago

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(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Evan’s 6✩ Inspiration: Umbrae Secrets [繁荫秘语] Date Translation (Prologue)

“I saw Mr. Lu in the elevator just now! He was acting different from his usual self and the look on his face was absolutely frigid…”

*Light and Night Master-list | Evan’s Personal Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *This 6✩ Inspiration has 8 Endings!! *Evan’s tag will be #For Night, For Revolution

It was an ordinary day of work. I’d just gotten to the office when Li Man’man opened the door and entered the room.

Li Man'man: No way, no way! You’ll never believe it! I’m doing all of you a favour by reminding you to behave today.

Brother Mao: Huh? What’s gotten you into such a tizzy?

Li Man’man rubbed the goosebumps that had arisen on her arms, shivering as she recalled what she’d seen.

Li Man'man: I saw Mr. Lu in the elevator just now! He was acting different from his usual self and the look on his face was absolutely frigid…

Li Man'man: I thought I’d turn into a block of ice in no time flat the moment our gazes met!

MC: What?

Hearing her recollection, I couldn’t help but to suddenly think back to what happened yesterday during lunch hour.

❖☆———————————★❖

At noon, I’d compiled a set of documents related to jewellery designs, just as Evan had requested and brought it up to his office.

A voice sounded from within when I knocked on the door of his office. It sounded unusually indifferent.

Evan: Come in.

❖☆———————————★❖

Pushing the door open, I saw Evan leaning against his chair, his brows were furrowed, hanging low, and there seemed to be thick storm clouds brewing in his eyes.

He was still staring blankly out the window in a daze when I went up to his desk.

Evan: Just leave it there.

MC: Okay.

Hearing me, he turned. The dark look on his face instantly lightened up.

Evan: Hm? Oh, it's you.

Evan: Sorry, I was just thinking about something.

Recalling the unusual look he had on his face when I entered, I couldn’t help but step on eggshells around him.

MC: Don't worry about it. Here are the documents you requested. Are you… okay?

Before he could reply, however, the landline on his desk suddenly rang, interrupting our conversation.

MC: I'll leave you to it!

Evan nodded apologetically at me and I took my leave from his office.

❖☆———————————★❖

Did something happen to make him unhappy…?

With his personality, he wouldn’t tell anyone about his troubles even if something WAS troubling him, no doubt.

❖☆———————————★❖

When I got home at night, I switched on the TV. It was coincidentally broadcasting a camping-related program.

The lush green forest, the joyous chirruping of birds and their songs… Everything there was powered by Mother Nature’s power of healing, capable of washing away all exhaustion in one’s body and mind.

I didn't know why I thought of Evan again, but I did.

MC: There’s a gigantic forest at the outskirts of Guangqi City and it’s clear weather out all the time now.

MC: Maybe he might feel better if I can somehow get him out to the forest for a walk...

An idea popped into my head and I scrambled to fetch my phone, searching for the familiar name in my contacts.

I was just about to hit the call button when I suddenly thought of a plausible issue.

MC: I don’t think he’ll reject me regardless if he wants to go or not if I invite him directly like that.

MC: Maybe I should feel around for his thoughts about it so that I don’t unknowingly coerce him into anything.

After pondering it for a while, I hit the dial button.

❖☆———————————★❖

Evan: (Y/n)? What's the matter?

MC: … Evan, I… err, have gotten interested in coffee lately.

Evan: Really? What flavour of coffee do you like? I'll be glad to recommend you things.

MC: Oh… I haven't decided yet.

MC: Ahem, have you ever seen a coffee tree? I've never seen it myself with my own two eyes! I really want to go see one~

Evan: About that…

He sounded hesitant, there was no doubt about it. I awkwardly scratched my head.

Did I come off too strange by bringing up that question out of the blue!?

Evan: Coffee trees have strict requirements when it comes to the environment they’re grown in. And as far as I’m aware, the PH levels of the soil and the amount of rainfall here in Guangqi City do not fit their criteria.

Evan: So, I'm afraid it'll be hard for you to spot one in Guangqi City.

Evan: But we can go see one together in Africa during your next vacation if you'd like.

MC: Eh? Africa? No need then.

MC: Ahaha… then, how about...

When there’s a will, there’s a way. I saw a glimmer of light at the end of the dark path in my mind.

MC: Then, what about a bamboo pith?

MC: I had some bamboo piths while eating hotpot a couple of days ago! I find that it’s a very amazing fungus! I really want to see one growing for myself!

Evan: It is. Although information is now widely accessible, it still hits different when you see it with your own eyes.

Evan: When are you free? We can go check it out together.

MC: Brilliant!

That's what I've been waiting for you to say!

MC: Are you free next weekend?

Evan: Yes, my weekends are open.

Evan: You… Are you this happy just to go to the forest for a walk?

MC: Hahaha, yeah! Super happy!

Evan: I'll come fetch you in my car next Saturday at 10 AM. Will that be alright?

MC: Sure! We're all set then!

Evan: Then, have you ever hiked or camped out before?

MC: No… but don't worry!

MC: I’ve watched lots of videos about camping on the internet! I’ll prepare all the equipment we’ll need this time!

Evan: Alright. I'll be leaving it all to you then.

❖☆———————————★❖

Soon, the appointed day arrived.

When I came downstairs lugging along a rucksack that towered about half a person tall, Evan, who was waiting by his car, looked slightly taken aback.

Evan: You…

I found myself blanking out as I stared at Evan, standing not too far away,

This was my first time seeing Evan dressed in such a casual manner. The soft and form-fitting material of his clothes made his shoulders appear wider and him, much more reliable. It was reassuring, to say so in the least.

MC: Haha, did I bring one too many things? Actually, I think so too.

MC: In case we don't find a bamboo pith today, we can still camp overnight in the forest with this.

MC: Don't you think?

He smiled as he approached, taking the heavy bag off my shoulders.

Evan: Sounds good.

Evan: You must have fun and enjoy your first camping trip, if anything.

The tenderness in his countenance was the same as always. Where was that coldness to him that a certain someone had mentioned?

I secretly felt a wave of relief wash over me.

MC: Let's head out then!

❖☆———————————★❖

After driving on the suburban roads for nearly an hour, we finally reached an area near the forest on the outskirts of the City.

Evan gently took my bag out of the trunk, slinging it over his shoulder.

MC: That's pretty heavy. How about you let me carry it myself?

Evan: Since we're going to be travelling together anyway, how about we both give it our best?

MC: Alright then. Thanks!

❖☆———————————★❖

Stepping into the forest, lush green foliage surrounded us all around.

The ubiquitous noise and lights were all isolated from here, creating a secluded and serene atmosphere.

The air was warm, humid, and carried the sweet refreshing scent of vegetation. Relaxation was literally oozing out of my pores.

I turned around to look back at Evan. He was standing ramrod straight as usual with a blank expression on his face.

MC: Evan, we're here to relax!

Evan: Thank you. I am very relaxed.

MC: You can afford to be more relaxed. Here, follow me. Open your arms like this, take a deep breath, and go "Ahh…"

He smiled helplessly at me. Just when I thought he was going to refuse, he mimicked my stance, opening his arms wide.

Evan: Ahh…

MC: Hahaha. Yup, just like that.

I took out a map and a compass from the bag.

MC: I will be the leader for today! I’ve already marked all the routes we can take. Let’s see… let’s go this way first!

Evan: Alright. As you say, leader.

We proceeded through the forest according to the directions shown on the map.

We chatted about the animals and plants that we saw as we walked. Or more accurately, Evan was the one introducing them all to me.

Evan: Sorry. It must be boring hearing me talk about all these.

MC: Nope. I’m actually even more interested after hearing you talk about them.

MC: Also, your expression changes into something a little different from what I’m used to whenever you talk about something you like.

Evan: Something that I like? I’m not really sure if it constitutes as me liking it, but I think I’ll like it if you do.

He smiled in a manner as if he didn’t mind it at all, stopping as he took out some tissues and a bottle of water from his bag.

Evan: Here. Wipe your sweat and hydrate yourself.

MC: Thanks.

The soft bubbling of running water entered our ears as we stopped to rest.

MC: Looks like there's a small rover up ahead, just like how it's drawn in the map!

Evan: Looks like the leader's leading well.

❖☆———————————★❖

Following the sound of running water, we soon found the river.

The clear stream rushed across the pebbles, the crystalline liquid glittering under the golden light of the sun. The wind that blew past the waters was very cool and very refreshing. It felt great on my slightly worn-out body.

MC: The cool breeze here by the river’s really nice! And the sound of dripping water’s also very calming.

Evan: Looks like there’s a flat rock over there where we can sit.

Evan: Do you want to rest for a bit?

I want to…

After pondering for a while, I finally decided to…

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

✥ Choose your Ending:

END 1 | Choice: Do Nothing [都不做]

END 2 +3 + 4 | Choice: Call Out [呼唤] ⊹Speak⊹

END 4 + 6 | Choice: Approach [亲近] ⊹Touch⊹

END 7 + 8 | Choice: Heart-throb [心动] ☆Light & Night★

❖☆————— ⊹ For Night, For Revolution⊹ —————★❖

#光与夜之恋 #Light and Night #Otome #Translations #Tencent #陆沉 #Evan #For Night For Revolution #繁荫秘语 #Umbrae Secrets

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cheri-translates · 4 years ago

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[CN] Gavin’s Reflection of Beauty Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: Detailed spoilers for a date yet to be released in EN! 🍒

Phone call between Gavin and Mr Keller before the date: here

Candlelit Night Collection: Kiro // Lucien // Victor

Trivia regarding the name of the date:

This date is called 惊鸿照影来, which is part of a couplet from “Shenyuan”, a poem by Lu You written in the Song Dynasty

Rough translation of the full couplet: Alas, the green water under the forlorn bridge / Once reflected the charming face of my beloved one!

It was inspired by the poet’s own love story, where he was forced to leave his wife because his mother didn’t like her. Even so, their love never ceased. Ten years later, they met again in Shenyuan Garden (which was also the place he first fell in love with her). Lu You inscribed a poem on a stone wall, conveying his anger and sorrow towards their separation. A few days after seeing the poem, she died from depression :’<

“Shenyuan” was written later on as a memorialisation of his undying love. It conveys how revisiting old places makes one remember past lovers and sentiments

[ CHAPTER ONE ]

The date begins with MC and Gavin having a rehearsal for the sequel of the “Three Lifetimes” play

The audience had a deep impression of them in “Three Lifetimes”, so Mr Keller wrote them into the sequel as second leads

In the play, the town looks forward to the marriage between Lady Su (the female lead) and Swordsman Bai (Gavin)

But Lady Su is in love with Swordsman Bai’s friend, a scholar (the male lead)

Meanwhile, Swordsman Bai is in love with the character MC is playing (a high-ranking palace maid and a close friend of Lady Su)

After the rehearsal, Mr Keller gives them suggestions on how to improve, and tells Gavin to gaze at MC and hold her hand during a particular scene:

Gavin: ...all right.

[ CHAPTER TWO ]

Once the rehearsal is over, Gavin is a sweetheart as always, bringing water and a few bananas over to MC with this face:

Gavin: If it isn’t enough, I can get a few more?

MC: There’s enough, there’s enough.

Su Xuan, the actress playing Lady Su, tells them to change outfits for the photoshoot:

Su Xuan: I’ll help you put on some make-up first, then marry you off beautifully to your Mr Gavin. Come, close your eyes.

Without giving me a chance to explain or argue, she skilfully helps me with my make-up, as though she’s really helping a sister prepare for her wedding.

Su Xuan: Mm, that’s more like it.

She pulls me to my feet. After looking me over carefully, she tilts her head and smiles at something behind me.

Su Xuan: What does the groom think?

Before I have time to react, Su Xuan pushes me lightly, and I fall into familiar arms.

Gavin: Pretty.

Gavin, who has walked out of the changing room, is also wearing a matching set of red wedding attire.

The colour, which isn’t typically found on him, suits him unexpectedly well.

His easy-going independence has been toned down, replaced with fiery passion.

Gavin: What are you looking at?

MC: This outfit really suits you.

MC: ...very handsome!

Gavin: [coughs] ...you look very pretty in red too.

Gavin’s ears have a tinge of redness. He rubs the back of his neck, his eyes containing insuppressible surprise and warmth as he looks at me.

Su Xuan: All right, you two “newlyweds” can appreciate each other after the shoot! The photographer this time is quite picky.

As she speaks, she pulls our hands together.

The both of us stop talking, perhaps due to the dry air around us, or the warmth surfacing in our eyes.

Gavin holds onto my hand tightly.

[ CHAPTER TWO: A flashback ]

Location: Outside Lynn’s Kitchen

By the time Minor and Gavin leave the noodle shop, the sky is mostly dark.

Only traces of the sunset glow faintly from behind the tall buildings.

Minor: It’s so difficult to get tickets this Chinese New Year... I’m always struggling during this part of the year, and spending the New Year’s alone here is too cheerless. Gavin, what are your plans? Eh... why am I even asking - you’re definitely spending it with Boss.

Gavin is the same as always, letting Minor ramble on at his ear.

Only when he hears the final sentence does a corner of his heart feel a light tug.

Gavin: Mm. I promised to help Mr Keller with her.

Gavin smiles faintly without even realising it himself.

Minor: Huh? ...even though I find this method a little off, it’s not bad I guess! Boss has been asking everyone in the office what dishes they usually make for New Year’s. It made me curious... so you two are spending New Year’s together!

Minor’s words cause Gavin to recall the few memories of “spending the New Year’s” he has.

New Year’s should be a festival of celebration. There was a time when he looked forward to it.

It’s just that afterwards, this day gradually became no different from a normal one.

That is, until the girl reappeared in his life, drawing the link between this day and warmth.

It made him start looking forward to it again.

Minor: Bro Gavin? What are you thinking about? It’s rare to see this look on your face... I got it!

Minor makes an exaggerated expression, predictably receiving Gavin’s neither hard nor soft punch.

Gavin: Minor, are there places selling New Year goods near her home?

Minor: Bro Gavin, you want to... buy New Year goods?!

Gavin: What’s wrong with that?

Minor: Nothing nothing nothing...

Gavin: ...your smile is a little nauseating.

Minor: I’m just happy! Then again, as compared to preparing in advance, there will be more of an atmosphere if you pick them out together!

Gavin: Makes sense.

Gavin nods, quickening his pace slightly.

Minor: Bro Gavin, where are you headed to next?

Several images flash across his mind - a warm light in the living room left on for him, a table with the home-cooked dishes he mentioned liking, and the girl waiting for him on the sofa, hugging a pillow.

Gavin: Home.

[ CHAPTER THREE ]

The photoshoot turns out to be more difficult than MC expected

Photographer: You must imagine - you two are about to elope, so it has to be dynamic! And yet have a tinge of... hesitation and worry! You’ve got to feel it! Change your pose!

MC and Gavin struggle to understand the photographer’s abstract descriptions

MC suggests they pretend to chat while sitting on the grass

MC: ...the weather is getting cold. Does Sparky need to be sent for maintenance?

Once the words leave my mouth, I’m filled with a sense of regret. This topic is too forced...

Gavin seems to be stunned for a moment, then the corners of his lips lift gently.

Gavin: Mm, I have plans to do so. We can find a day to go together.

MC: Ah, okay!

Gavin smiles, lifting his hand to tuck stray tendrils of hair behind my ear.

His amber eyes, which are filled to the brim with smiles, hold my blinking and grinning expression within them.

Photographer: Very good! That’s the right feeling! Could the both of you try lying down? Girl, close your eyes and lift your head slightly.

MC: ...all right. Like this?

I follow the photographer’s instructions and lie down at Gavin’s side, closing my eyes.

In the darkness, a familiar warmth encases me tightly, allowing me to have a peace of mind and lean into his arms.

We are very close to each other. His unique scent entwines with the reed grass that has been dried by the sun, reminding me of the summer we spent together. A breeze brushes past us.

It makes one want to draw even nearer.

Photographer: Very good very good. Can the man include some movements to add on to the idea of newlyweds interacting?

Gavin: ...uhm.

I hear Gavin’s breath halt for a moment, as though he’s deep in thought.

After a while, he seems to have thought of something, and he laughs softly.

Gavin: MC, don’t move.

Right after he finishes speaking, I feel a lock of hair near my ear being lifted gently.

I don’t dare to move a single inch, nor dare to open my eyes. I leave myself entirely to Gavin.

The frequency of my heartbeat increases, and a numbness travels from the roots of my hair to my spine. My hair seems to be gently held in his palm.

Gavin: ...let me know if it hurts. I’ve never tried this before.

Even though he says this, his actions are cautious and tender.

All I can feel are the slight vibrations from my hair, the lock of hair ascending and descending along with his fingers, and then falling by my ear again.

I purse my lips tightly, frantically trying to control my rapid breathing. I’m afraid that I might accidentally ruin this ambience.

The shutter continuously sounds. The photographer seems to be saying something again, but I can no longer hear him clearly.

Next to me, Gavin’s breathing brushes against my forehead and the tips of my hair. The breath, which carries a certain warmth, feels like a light kiss.

Even though this is just a photoshoot, I wish time would give us this moment for a little while longer.

The words he said during the Qixi Festival last year surge from the depths of my heart, and once again gather in the centre.

I can’t help but feel that even if our destinies entangle and cross, and fate only allows for fleeting meetings, we will ultimately accompany each other at the very end.

In my ear, the sound of his heartbeat is akin to him giving me a definite answer. One after the other, regular and resolute.

Photographer:

Gavin: MC, we can get up now.

I open my eyes slowly. The past few minutes have felt like a small, beautiful dream.

In Gavin’s hand are locks of our hair tied together with a red string.

Noticing my gaze, Gavin clear his throat unnaturally.

Gavin: ...when the idea of “newlyweds” was brought up, I could only think of this.

[Trivia: In Chinese culture, one’s hair represents one’s self. During a traditional Chinese wedding, the couple would each cut a lock of their hair and tie them together. This is called 结发 (”joining of hair”). It symbolises the couple becoming one flesh and blood, and how they would be connected forever... T^T]

I nod, not daring to meet his eyes.

His short sentence channels layers of emotions in my heart, converging into unstoppable ripples.

In a most straightforward way, his unembellished words leave a long and sweet aftertaste in my heart.

MC: Let’s go over there so the next group can use this place...

Gavin: Hold on...

Without waiting for Gavin to finish, I’ve already sat up. Only when I feel a light tugging sensation do I realise that my hair is still tied to Gavin’s.

MC: Ah-

Gavin: ...does it hurt? Don’t worry, I’ll untie the knot.

Gavin’s voice, which carries within it concern, is very close to the top of my head. In the next second, the strands of hair that are pulled are immersed in a tender warmth.

Gavin: ...I might have tied it a little too tightly.

MC: Let me try...

Gavin agrees with a sound, cooperating by bending down slightly to make it easier to untie the red string.

I try pulling at the end of the string, but the knot refuses to budge.

Gavin: ...

MC: It does seem a little tight... could it be a dead knot?

Gavin seems to have leaned in a little closer. Perhaps it’s just my misperception, but he seems even closer than he was during the photoshoot.

His temperature and breath make my face feel increasingly flushed. I focus on the knot in my hand, hoping he wouldn’t notice my flustered state.

MC: N-next time, don't tie it so tightly! Or else I’ll leave it to you to untie.

I pretend to be angry, wanting to break the atmosphere that makes my heart go into a frenzy.

Gavin: All right, I got it.

When I hear his voice in my ear, I know fully well that my attempts are futile.

When the red string is finally released and falls to the ground, I release a huge sigh, yet feel an inexplicable emptiness in my heart.

It’s as though my fate with Gavin has become untied.

They get called back to the rehearsal

MC: We should go over then.

Gavin: ...hold on.

Gavin pauses, then takes the red string from my hand.

In a slightly clumsy manner, he uses the string to tie a knot at the end of my plait.

Gavin: This is also considered joining of the hair.

Gavin looks at me, his eyes clear, as though he has seen through all my emotions.

Gavin: Let’s go.

While he speaks, he takes my hand and we leave.

I hold onto Gavin firmly, the red string on my hair swaying gently along with our footsteps.

We will never miss each other again.

[ CHAPTER FOUR ]

At 8pm, the play finally begins

On stage, MC is supposed to read a letter to Gavin

But when she opens it up, she realises there’s nothing on the letter even though her script is supposed to be on it

Gavin notices that something is amiss, so he steps in to calm her down while pretending everything is normal

MC starts reciting her lines based on memory, but starts panicking in fear of ruining the play

Gavin then takes the letter from her and pretends to read from it, reciting her lines perfectly

The First Act of the play comes to an end, and there’s an intermission

MC decides to thank Gavin properly after the play is over, but Su Xuan suddenly looks for her:

Su Xuan: MC, are you free now? Pass the silk ball to Gavin! I don’t know why, but the prop hasn’t been brought over yet.

MC: Okay! I’ll go now!

Thinking of the little time left, I grab the silk ball and run towards the other end without much thought.

In the next scene, Gavin and I are supposed to enter the stage from different sides, which is why I have to cross through the entire backstage to reach him.

The silk ball is an indispensable prop in the next scene. Also... I have a “thank you” to say to him in person.

With this in mind, I quicken my pace, and find a familiar figure afar off in the busy backstage.

MC: Gavin! I’m over here!

I stand on my tiptoes and wave at him, thinking of ways to reach him even faster.

Hearing this, Gavin raises his head. After seeing me, he immediately weaves through the crowd and walks towards me.

People are moving to and fro. Our eyes only have each other, and we go against the flow of people, walking towards our only focus.

Staff: Prepare for the second half!

When I’m only a few steps away from him, the countdown for the second half of the play resounds.

MC: Gavin, this is for you!

In my desperation, I lift my hand. The silk ball flies in a slightly shaky arc, landing steadily in Gavin’s arms.

[Trivia: In Chinese culture, the silk ball (绣球 - ”xiu qiu”) is used to symbolize love. Giving it to someone reflects the giving of one’s heart. If a woman is in search of a fated life partner, she will toss the ball high into the air in a crowd. The person who catches the silk ball would become the person’s husband]

MC: Gavin, about earlier...

Staff: MC? What are you doing here? Go back, we’re about to start soon. The snatching scene is next, and it’s very important.

MC: Please wait! I haven’t finished what I wanted to say...

The staff doesn’t give me a chance to continue, and pulls me to the other end.

I turn my head towards Gavin, and I have no choice but to swallow the words of gratitude I couldn’t say to him in time.

Gavin: [unintentionally sexy whisper] Wait for me.

Gavin stands in place and looks at me, mouthing those words to me.

The bell from the venue rings, and the noise from the audience gradually dissipates.

Staff: The Second Act! Begins!

[ CHAPTER FOUR: A flashback ]

Location: Gavin’s home

MC: “It’s good, and I doubt the lady would refuse, but...”

Gavin: Are you still looking at your lines?

MC: ...Gavin? Why are you here!

[Note: I have no idea why MC asks this since the backdrop is of his own house LOL]

Gavin walks over with a blanket in his hand.

MC: The rehearsal is the day after tomorrow, so I’m trying to make use of my time to familiarise myself with the script, especially the scene where I’m reading the letter. Even though I should be able to read straight from the letter on the actual day, I think it’s better to memorise it just in case... Gavin, why don’t you accompany me in going through the lines!

Gavin nods and sits beside me. After covering me with the blanket, he takes the script from my hands.

Gavin: From here?

MC: Okay!

Gavin and I go through the dialogue. Places I usually get stuck at become miraculously smooth.

Without realising it, we’ve gone through the entire script.

I flip through the script, marking out places requiring additional attention.

MC: I feel like Mr Keller has taken reference from the personalities of the actors when writing the lines. I keep thinking that the lines sound like what you would say.

While speaking, I let out a yawn.

Gavin: If you’re tired, rest. We can continue tomorrow.

As the year draws to a close, there are more things than usual to settle at work. And when I come home, I’d have to familiarise myself with the script. It’s natural that I’d feel fatigued.

MC: You don’t have anything on tomorrow?

Gavin: I don’t have work tomorrow, so we can practice our lines.

MC: That’s great!

A warmth gushes out of my heart. I shift closer to Gavin, sharing half the blanket with him. We look at the script together.

MC: This is so much warmer!

Gavin: ...do you still want to look at it?

MC: Mm, let’s look through the letter scene again. “If you lack medical knowledge... attach some... scattered silver... I hope to do my best...”

The words in front of me gradually become blurry and distorted. After a certain line, I lean on Gavin’s shoulder in a dazed state, giving up on my fight against sleep.

Gavin: MC? Are you asleep?

The girl, who loftily said they would look at the script together just a few minutes ago, is now leaning softly against his shoulder, sleeping peacefully.

Gavin doesn’t wake her up, and simply covers her with a jacket. He flips to the first page of the script, quietly reading the girl’s lines, and memorising them.

The city is asleep, but the room filled with the breath of two people is still illuminated with a tender light.

The all-knowing stars in the night sky are silent, and will guard the small world belonging to these two people.

[ CHAPTER FIVE ] The curtains are drawn slowly. I once again step onto the stage, following the script.

In this scene, Gavin will snatch the silk ball, and I will hand it to the male lead so he can bring his beloved home.

For the scene to be more realistic, the actors are allowed to walk around spontaneously.

As such, I have to run past various settings, weave through the crowd, and finally reach the stipulated spot.

MC: Swordsman Bai?

Panting slightly, I stand underneath the embroidery building, looking for Gavin.

[Trivia: In ancient times, women who were more socially well-to-do would do embroidery in embroidery buildings.]

The sense of deja vu blurs my perception of the boundaries between the play and reality.

A strong wind arrives as promised. Following the glint of a sword, a path forms in the crowd, interrupting my thoughts.

Gavin is dressed in red. One hand holds onto the silk ball, and the other sheathes his sword. He walks straight towards me.

Gavin: Trivial matters held me back, and I seek forgiveness from the lady.

The corners of his lips are curled into an open smile. His eyes are wilful and tender.

The setting of the blue sky, the red silk in the surroundings, and the startled magpie birds surround Gavin, who is donned in wedding attire. It makes one unable to look away.

At this moment, he finally stands before me again.

The crowd and the noise of the world - they no longer have anything to do with me.

Gavin places the silk ball into my hands steadily.

Even though I know this is a script, and that it’s part of the plot, I can’t help but feel that the red silk ball in my hands is akin to a solemn promise.

A greedy thought even flits across my mind - maybe it’d be good if the story ends like this.

On stage, the silk ball is finally handed to the scholar. The lady takes the silk ball and holds it with her lover.

Under the embroidery building, Gavin suddenly takes my hand.

Gavin: Perhaps this may be abrupt. MC, are you willing to marry me and become my wife?

MC: ?!

Was there such a line in the script?

I look at Gavin with confusion.

Gavin doesn’t say a word. He stares straight at me without a hint of evasion.

There are so many emotions within that pair of eyes, leaving me unable to make sense of them. I have no idea what to say.

Off-stage, the audience erupt in thunderous cheers.

I glance to the side. Mr Keller, who has been watching the entire play, nods in my direction, signalling that I should continue in my role.

My confusion dissipates when I see Gavin’s amber eyes, which are filled with deep, tender emotions and lingering affection. There is even an undercurrent of questioning and anticipation.

It’s as though the answer I give would be an entrustment of the rest of my life.

My heart beats loudly in my chest, feeling like it would leap out from my throat in the next second.

MC: I... I accept.

I blush and respond, not even sure if my words are loud enough to be heard by the audience off-stage.

However, every single word is heard by Gavin, who has received my feelings.

With a gentle laugh, he wraps an arm around my waist and lifts me up.

Gavin brings me up the embroidery building to stand alongside the male and female leads.

At the end of the play, there is thunderous applause from off-stage. There are even a few audience members who are fully immersed in the story, sending us their blessings.

In the midst of the applause, I tilt my head and lean towards Gavin’s ear, speaking softly.

MC: Gavin, just now... I don’t remember seeing such a scene in the script?

Gavin: Mm, it was impromptu.

MC: Why didn’t you tell me beforehand? I even thought...

Gavin doesn’t respond further, only smiling at me.

Facing the cheering audience, the four of us bow and thank them for watching, as though worshipping the vast sea of people.

After the play, everyone involved in the show gathers together to celebrate over dinner

MC: Gavin, thank you so much for today! It’s a good thing you saved the show! Back then... I really didn’t know what to do.

While I speak, I raise the drink in my hand, clinking it lightly against Gavin’s.

Gavin: You were looking for me just now to say this?

He raises his drink, making up for the delayed clink.

MC: Yeah. I wanted to thank you properly, but time was so tight that I couldn’t find the chance. Come to think of it, how did you know my lines...

Gavin: When we were rehearsing lines together, I just memorised them as well.

Gavin lowers his head and takes a mouthful of food, maintaining his usual casual attitude. Noticing that I’ve been watching him, he rubs his neck in slight confusion.

Gavin: Um... is there something on my face?

I immediately shake my head. A warm wave of emotions overflow from my heart. Countless words of gratitude are lodged in my throat, but I feel that no matter what I say, it would not be enough.

In the end, I silently fill a bowl of soup for him.

At the table, everyone is eating and drinking merrily, and the atmosphere is warm.

MC: After spending so many days with the crew, thinking of how we might not have the chance to get together like this again makes me feel quite reluctant to part with them.

I lean against Gavin, looking at the lively crew around us.

MC: Gavin, I suddenly thought about something from my childhood. My dad used to be busy producing programs, and would bring me to the recording site to spend the New Year’s. The site was always busy, but no matter how pressed they were for time, everyone would sit down together and have an especially sumptuous dinner. Once I grew up, I also started spending my New Year’s working. I still remember that the warm ambience back then was the same as right now.

Gavin: Mm, I can imagine. I used to spend New Year’s with my teammates, and it was very lively.

MC: Even though it’s not at home, it’s still a different kind of fun!

Gavin: Since we’re on this topic, [coughs]...

Gavin seems to have something very important to say, but he takes another sip of his drink and stops.

I blink, waiting for him quietly. I can vaguely guess what he wants to say.

In the end, he seems to become determined. He clears his throat and turns his head to look at me with a serious expression.

Gavin: Over the next few days, if you don’t have anything else planned....

Gavin: Spend the New Year’s with me at home.

His tone is light, but the look in his eyes tells me just how solemn this invitation is. Even the tips of his ears turn an unnatural shade of red.

I am very certain that, to the both of us, these words are the most precious and serious treasures from the deepest parts of his heart.

MC: Okay.

I nod heavily in response. Since a very long time ago, this answer has not changed.

The corners of Gavin’s lips turn up slightly. Those eyes, which always have an undercurrent of emotions, look like a glacier that has melted in spring, tenderly melting into a warm current.

Gavin: I’ll pick you up then.

MC: Mm!!

The way his lips are curled upwards is as though all the uncertainties in his heart have found a most potent answer.

I find myself smiling along with him.

MC: I recently learnt how to make a few New Year’s dishes, so we can try them.

Gavin: All right, I can help. My skills... have improved.

I freeze for a moment, making a sudden realisation.

MC: Have you been practicing in secret? Looks like teaching you how to cook was a wise decision.

Gavin: ...I occasionally tried to.

MC: I’ll have to check the results of my teaching this year then!

Gavin: No problem.

Gavin smiles, nodding his head with some measure of seriousness. He suddenly thinks of something.

Gavin: Oh yes, do we need to buy things like spring couplets?

MC: Mmhmm, we also have to buy the character “福”! It will only feel like New Year’s when we have these things pasted.

[Trivia: During the Chinese New Year, households paste an inverted red coloured square with the character 福 (“fu”, which means auspiciousness, blessing or happiness) on doors, walls, etc. to usher in such tidings]

I continue talking, listing on my fingers the items I want to purchase.

In my memory, my aunties’ fierce interrogations don’t seem that long ago. In just a blink of an eye, a new year has arrived.

[Note: She’s making reference to the Spring Festival Date!]

This time, we can leave our time to each other.

In a place belonging only to us, flipping open a new year’s calendar together.

The atmosphere at the dining table is just right. The sound of clinking glasses and celebration comes in waves. No one notices this small corner.

We clasp each others’ fingers quietly.

Our pulses, only separated by a layer of skin, call out to each other in the language of warmth.

I’m so lucky to have you by my side.

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc gavin #SOFT GAVIN #pardon the one billion screenshots of Gavin I included in this

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