chaos-deimos-et-eris

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dr who’s on first, doctor strange is on second and doctor house is on third. theres no way theyre getting through a single inning

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My counselor, talking about psychology: “Our frontal lobe is what separates us from monkeys.”

Me: “You mean the part that doesn’t work properly in my brain?”

My counselor: “Right.”

Me: “Right.”

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one of the things my little brother and i do to each other is announce our presence by yelling HEWWO??? whenever we get home but. this has now caused our dad to also, upon getting home from work, throw the door open and yell. in the daddest voice possible. HEWWO???

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after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

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I haven't purchased a HP item in close to a decade - I use the books I already had as doorstops or to prop a laptop up for meetings nowadays.

There is NO "death of the author" with JK Rowling - she controls and continues to profit from her IP, and uses that money to fund hate groups.

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🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄

You! Have been visited by the gnome of executive function! Reblog to send them along to make sure they visit the next person in need!

🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄

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ok so i think they might have just taken a werid angle for a thumbnail because everyone looks weird. still dont like the animation but i think thats because i dont change rather then it being bad. the tiktok was heinous but not because of the "short lifespan of trends making it cringe" like some people are saying because shrek has done some pretty werid things that have WORKED. but they worked in universe. of course there is a fast food restaurant in the capital city of a kingdom. the place is well off and the scene is quick so we cant think about it for too long. of course a SENTIENT MAGIC MIRROR can bring up pictures and profiles of single ladies in your area even if it reminds you of dating apps. the mirror is presenting the information not the girls making is seem like the mirror is spying on them (plausible with magic) and not like the girls have access to a computer to set up a dating profile. local towns people harassing shrek. a more mordern problem (paparazzi) but its not like people cant ask for directions and walk. taxis are carriages. planes are your dragon friend giving you a ride. the baker is locked up. pepper spray is someone grounding pepper is your eyes. sexy shrek is just a pretty normal looking guy with a similar built to shrek even by early 2000s standards. of course popular evil fairy produces her potions in house and doesn't include dental. there have been unions since people have been working for other people so of course that what they snuck in as. i think the problem with tiktok wasnt that it was there, but rather that it wasnt like i dont know prince charming using it to spy on the sassy girls from king arthur's and swiping his whole arm up before the mirror come out to say hes acting creepy or something before going to rapunzel telling him to do something and him going oh shit. that tiktok was real world tiktok implying people on mass have electricity phones cameras wifi computers apps and editing software when they werent even at the printing press. some people having it could be acceptable, there is magic in this world, but its all for magic creatures or really rich people because its rare. the clear modern editing snaps suspension of disbelief. they might of even gotten away with a picture of shrek looking lovesick in the distance while the mirror sang in the background, to swipe only to be a different picture of shrek. this might be a good addition to a movie, but not a shrek movie because it is not working with established shrek lore.

shrek 5's teaser animation isnt bad you're just nostalgic for movies made in 2001

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Jason, texting Tim: at batburger rn. you want anything?

Tim: i’m in a meeting

Jason: okay

Jason: so what do you want?

Tim: the batburger deluxe without pickles and extra ketchup, as well as jorkerized fries and robin nuggets

Jason: okay fatass

LATER

Jason: come to lobby. i have your food. bitch ass security won’t let me come to you

[chaos-deimos-et-eris]

Tim: i would be mad but he did give it back

so, imagine Ra's trying to get Tim to join him, and Tim is like

Tim, arms crossed : last time I worked with you I lost my fucking spleen, no way I am joinning you.

A week later Tim wakes up, and he feels different. As in, he feels lighter. Anyway, he hasn't had coffee so nothing really matters yet (he doesn't question the slight cyan in his eyes or the lighter strands in his hair). Until eventually he gets stabbed and curses because infections. To later on realise that he has no surgery scar. He does some scans in the batcave, and indeed he is not missing his spleen anymore. Tim is honestly impressed and a bit curious on how Ra's even pulled that off, but hey, he's not gonna complain, no more antibiotics and less worry of dying from a cough! He just moves on, because really, there's not much he can do about it.

---

(weeks later in the medbay, batcave)

Dick, exhausted and so done : You really have to be more careful Tim. That stab wound could have been really nasty if Cass hadn't been here in time.

Tim, high on pain meds : It could have been wooorse. If I still didn't have my spleen I would have died there, so it's fiiiine.

Jason, staring at Tim : The fuck you mean 'if you didn't have your spleen' ?!

Tim, still high on meds : It's all good nooow. Ra's had it but he gave it back.

Jason : What the fuck ??

Tim, looking at Jason as if he didn't understand something simple : You know, with the pit and all ??

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( <= green bean

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( <= green bean

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obsessed with how fixable society is, on a structural level.

obsessed with how all you need to do is throw money at public education and eliminate most standardized testing and you will start getting smarter, more engaged, kinder adults. obsessed with how giving people safe housing, reliable access to good food, and decent wages dramatically reduces drug overdoses and gun violence. obsessed with how much people actually want to get together and fix infrastructure, invent new ways of helping each other, and create global ways of living sustainably once you give them livable pay to do so. obsessed with how tracking diseases, developing medicines, and improving public health becomes so much easier when you just make healthcare free at point of use.

obsessed with how easy it all becomes, if we can just figure out how to wrench the wealth out of the hands of the hoarders.

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Bruce: *bored as fuck and is literally willing to do anything*

Hal: Hey Spooky, you look like you could use some fun. Why don’t you let me take you out for dinner? *wiggling his eyebrows, very clearly joking to get a rise out of Bruce*

Justice League: Oh fuck, I always knew Green Lantern had a death wish *they’re all exchanging looks, ready to grab Hal just in case Bats decides to break his no kill rule*

Bruce: *has found the perfect opportunity to fuck with everyone* Sure, I like to be wined and dined. You’ll be paying for dinner. *walks out before anyone questions him*

Hal: … *turns to face the rest of the Justice League* Huh, who knew it’d be that easy?

Clark: *gritting his teeth* Yeah… who knew

Barry: *scoots away from Clark due to danger feeling*

Hal: Oh my gosh, what if this is a plan to murder me! *sweating, hands gripping his hair in fear*

Clark: *under his breath* Let’s hope he gets to you before I do *glowering*

Barry: *even more scared*

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ok but no one is talking about baby Steph. Like she has no reason to have known the family as a baby, much less get a Damian nickname. my proposal, she got introduced through spoiler like usual but has recently been deaged by wild evil wizard and is now being taken care of by the Batfam. whether or not this is permanent is dealers choice

More baby Tim au, but what if Damian was 13 and Tim was a baby

—-

Damian: Father, it seems to be trying to eat Alfred’s (the cat) Food. *pointing at baby Tim who just started crawling grabbing a handful of cat food*

Bruce: WHAT

—-

Damian laying in bed, holding Tim above him in the air.

Damian: Mother said I was a cute and smart baby, you wouldn’t meet her standards.

Dick *who was walking by*: DAMIAN!

Damian:

Tim: *baby noises*

Damian: *whispering* you meet my standards.

—-

Bruce, panicked: Damian, if you babysit Tim while I’m gone I’ll pay you 100 dollars. And allow you to get a new pet

Damian: sure

Also Damian: would’ve done it for free

—

Damian: this is Steph, can you say hi?

Tim, being held by Damian: *baby noises*

Steph, also a baby: *baby noises*

Damian: uh

—-

Damian is a really good brother to Tim, as Tim gets older his brotherly skills develop a lot more.

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there are only two genders btw. people who are alive and people who are fucking dead

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Knowing a fic author through AO3 is like attending someone’s thesis presentation and politely clapping at the end, knowing a fic author through this hellsite is like going over to their house at 3AM to watch them eat mayonnaise out of a jar

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Learning to knit turned out to be an early step in remembering my own small powers.

No good sweater options? I'll knit my own. Pants don't fit quite right? I'll alter them. Hole worn in my favorite pajamas? I'll patch it. Shoes don't match my clothes? I'll dye them. Cabinet not exactly what I hoped for? Paint.

As much as these are small things, I think it's genuinely transformative to take ownership of your space and your things in this way.

Maybe next I can work to transform my relationships, my gatherings, my communities.