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hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?

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cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

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Walmart has a surprisingly good dvd selection if you're ever in a Wal-Mart for whatever reason. I got Doctor Who Series 1-4 there for like 15 bucks a while back

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Jason and Dick falling back into being brothers after Jason gets resurrected except both of them keep forgetting that although Dick is still older, Jason is now very much not a small little Robin anymore.

Dick, pointing to an ugly old guy on TV: that’s you

Jason, gesturing to a pug: that’s you

Dick: *flicks the side of Jason’s head*

Jason: do that again and i’ll smash your face in

Dick: bring it on, little wing!

Jason: *jokily shoves Dick off the couch*

Dick: *flies two feet and smashes through a glass table*

Tim and Damian watch Dick try and sneak up on Jason from behind to shove him in the pool but Jason doesn’t even budge, and they see Dick’s eyes widen in regret before he gets judo-flipped into the water. Jason tries to jump in after but forgets how big he is and manages to both land directly on Dick’s flailing body and cause a wave big enough to drench Alfred standing at the other edge. Damian turns dead eyes onto Tim,

Damian: promise me we’ll never be that immature.

Tim: we can learn from their stupidity

Alfred, dripping onto the tiles, Jason and Dick struggling in the background: please see that you do.

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Hi new Tumblr users

Please know this sites hashtagging system is categorical and NOT clout based

Aka if I look up the “Wendell and Wild” tag, I should find clips, media, art and posts related to Wendell and wild ONLY. Same with any other random tag searched

If I spy a selfie, a random neighborhood, or any other kind of “insta” post trying to take likes for a popular hashtag, I’m reporting you for spam. Most other long term users will too and your acct will be fast tracked as a spam blogger and blocked.

You will not ruin the last non corporate site for us, especially by trying to treat this site like influencers matter. If you get popular, it’s bc you’re a clown w a skill not bc your hot or rich or skinny, got it?

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The Curious Case of Phantom

It starts during patrol.

At first, Tim barely notices the small, white blur with eerily green eyes trailing behind him as he scales rooftops and darts through alleys. Gotham’s stray population is no joke, so he figures it’s just another cat—until it keeps happening. Night after night, the same cat follows him like a shadow, no matter how far or fast he goes.

He tries to lose it, but somehow, it always finds him. And soon, he realizes the cat isn’t just following him—it’s helping.

One night, the cat leaps from a rooftop and claws a mugger who’s sneaking up behind Tim. Another night, it leads him to a drug deal in progress, meowing insistently until Tim follows.

It’s eerie how good the cat is at finding trouble, but it’s also undeniably useful. Tim names it Phantom, mostly because of its hauntingly white fur and the way it moves like a ghost in the shadows.

He’s not ready to admit that he’s started looking for the cat on patrol, waiting for it to show up like some unofficial partner.

———

Then Phantom starts showing up at Tim’s apartment.

The first time, Tim finds the cat sitting on his fire escape, staring at him through the window. He brushes it off as coincidence. But then it happens again. And again. Every night, Phantom is there, waiting.

Tim tries ignoring it, but Phantom doesn’t scratch or meow—it just stares, patient and expectant.

Eventually, Tim gives in and lets the cat inside. Phantom struts in like he owns the place, jumps onto Tim’s desk, and curls up right on top of his notes.

“Guess I have a cat now,” Tim mutters, scratching behind Phantom’s ears.

Phantom quickly becomes a fixture in Tim’s life.

He lounges on Tim’s lap during stakeouts, naps on his keyboard, and somehow always knows when Tim needs a break. Phantom is weird, though. His movements are too precise, too deliberate, and sometimes Tim swears he’s glowing faintly green.

But Tim doesn’t question it too much. Phantom’s good company, and Gotham’s seen stranger things.

———

The family eventually notices Phantom soon enough.

“You adopted a stray?” Dick asks when he visits Tim’s apartment. He crouches to pet the cat, who immediately swats at him. Dick recoils, laughing. “Okay, wow. Even the cat thinks I’m beneath him.”

“He doesn't seem to like new people,” Tim mutters, watching Phantom hop onto his desk like nothing happened.

Steph is obsessed. “He’s adorable! Can I post him?” she asks, taking a hundred photos of Phantom lounging on Tim’s keyboard. “He’s like your spooky little sidekick.”

Jason, on the other hand, has a reaction.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?” Jason yells the first time he sees Phantom.

Tim frowns. “It’s a cat, Jason. Calm down.”

“No, it’s not! That thing is glowing green, Tim! It’s haunted or radioactive or something!”

Tim rolls his eyes. “He’s just a cat.”

Jason isn’t convinced, but Phantom doesn’t care. He just glares at Jason like he’s the dumbest person in the room and stretches out on the couch.

Damian, though, reacts... differently.

The second Damian sees Phantom, he freezes.

“This cat,” Damian says, voice trembling with reverence, “is extraordinary.”

Tim barely has time to blink before Damian has his hands full of silk-lined cat beds, imported food, and custom collars engraved with “Phantom, the Great.”

“He’s my cat, Damian,” Tim says when Damian tries to scold him for not brushing Phantom’s fur properly.

“You are unworthy of him, Drake,” Damian snaps. “This is a creature of unmatched perfection, and you’re treating him like a common house pet.”

Tim sighs, but Phantom climbs into his lap and starts purring loudly. Damian looks betrayed.

“Traitor,” Damian mutters at Phantom, who clearly doesn’t care.

———

But Phantom isn’t just a cat.

Danny Fenton—currently stuck in his ghost form as a cat and unable to shift back—has been following Tim for weeks, hoping the smartest Bat could help him figure out how to fix his situation.

At first, it was desperation. Danny didn’t know how to communicate with Tim or explain what had happened to him. But then Tim let him in, fed him, and started treating him with such quiet care that Danny couldn’t bring himself to reveal the truth.

Phantom became his escape. For the first time in ages, Danny didn’t have to fight or run or worry about anyone discovering his secrets. He could just... exist.

And, okay, messing with the family was a bonus.

Danny knew he couldn’t stay a cat forever, but with the way Tim scratched behind his ears and muttered soft compliments, he thought, Maybe I can stay like this for a little longer.

Or maybe a lot longer. Phantom had a good thing going, after all.

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the funniest thing to come out of those batfam twitter au’s is the repeated gag of people getting mad at various batkids for insensitively ‘making fun’ of their dead brother by interacting with a ‘jason todd parody account’, and the kids don’t even try to defend themselves like ‘he’s dead idgaf’ while Totally Alive Jason Todd is in the replies like ‘i died just to get away from you’ and nobody ever mentions it outside of twitter. i think one day bruce is doing an interview when a reporter finally brings it up and he’s like ‘the kids are interacting with a what now’ and when he’s shown the tweets he just blinks a few times before going like ‘we all grieve in different ways,’ and then he pauses and squints at the screen before saying in a genuinely offended tone ‘does jason not follow me on twitter-!?’ and the reporter spends the next ten minutes trying to explain that it’s not jason because jason is dead while bruce completely ignores them just devastated that the parody account of his dead son isn’t following him on social media

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zuko is truly one of the most ridiculous characters ever invented. the fact that every single day for three years, iroh would be like “prince nephew it is time for your siesta and would you perhaps like a cup of your favorite calming jasmine tea to soothe your nerves” and zuko’s just like. vibrating from stress on the verge of throwing up hasn’t slept in 87 hours. “WHAT NERVES?? I’M DOING SO GREAT RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY. I DON’T NEED YOUR STUPID HOT LEAF JUICE , I NEED TO CAPTURE THE AVATAR.” and they do this every single day. like we happen to be introduced to him on the day that he does end up capturing the avatar (for all of five minutes) so perhaps he seems somewhat(?) more reasonable in that context, but rest assured. they have been having this conversation. every. single. day. for the past three. years. ridiculous.

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Iconic Brucie Wayne Lines:

“It’s good luck to spill a little with martinis.” — said right before spilling his entire cosmo in Lex Luthor’s lap

“Can I take this for my son?” — said about anything, including crime scene evidence, but said so charmingly that 80% of people just let him take whatever he’s holding

“Sorry I’m on the Bluetooth.” — said while gesturing to an ear that definitely does not have an earpiece, usually mid-conversation at a party

“No yeah, they get walks every day.” — said about his kids, no one can ever 100% tell if he’s joking

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I think some people forget that the kitty claws in the Batsuit’s gloves are necessary for the Bat’s survival. By declawing him, you’re making him more vulnerable to predators and potentially unable to climb up a building to safety.

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The Muppets are great but it's kinda sad how they killed the names Kermit, Grover, Gonzo, and Elmo

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“He would not fucking say that” is a Schrodinger’s phrase when it comes to Batman. There is probably Batman run where he would say that. There is also probably a run where Batman would kill the other Batman for saying that.

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[Wayne Enterprises Zoom call]

Bruce: Team, please come into the office at least once a year. Just check in. When we were fully remote, we found out that Tim had been working while he was locked up by the League of Assassins. I mean, his Wi-Fi was incredible.

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Jason: *dies again*

Tim: Timer starts now! When is he coming back? I say two months.

Stephanie: Bullshit. One month.

Cassandra: Nah, half a month.

Dick, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? JASON JUST DIED!

Damian, scratching his chin: One week.

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Bed against zero walls: You're a freak

Bed against one wall: Acceptable, but you can do better

Bed against two walls: Perfect

Bed against three walls: Do you live in a closet?

Bed against four walls: How???

Bed against five walls: What? That makes no sense...

Bed against six walls: Stop...

Bed against seven walls: I said stop!

Bed against eight walls: What are you doing?! That's too many walls!

Bed against nine walls: We've gone too far, I don't think we're in normal reality anymore...

Bed against ten walls: Hello? Is anybody there? How are there walls all perpendicular to one another?

Bed against eleven walls: We're definitely not in normal reality anymore

Bed against twelve walls: I think we're the only ones here. Just me and the bed.

Bed against thirteen walls: It's weirdly... cozy over here.

Bed against fourteen walls: Could this have been what I wanted all along? Solitude?

Bed against sixteen walls: Wait, Did you see that? We skipped 15.

Bed against twenty walls: No, this is definitely too much. Somebody get me out of here!

Bed against twenty eight walls: The skips are getting bigger, the walls are closing in...

Bed against forty walls: They're suffocating me...

Bed against sixty walls: Help...

Bed against one hundred walls: ...help.

Bed against two hundred walls: ...

Bed against five hundred walls: . . .

Bed against one thousand walls: . . .

Bed against five thousand walls: . . .

Bed against twenty thousand walls:

Bed against one hundred thousand walls:

Bed against five hundred thousand walls:

Bed against one million walls:

Bed against one billion walls:

Bed against one trillion walls:

Bed against one quadrillion walls: . . .

Bed against one quintillion walls: . . .

Bed against one sextillion walls: . . .

Bed against one nonillion walls: ...good night.

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died and came back right. there was definitely something wrong with me before? resurrection fixed me i think

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Asking Americans specifically: reblog and put in the tags how do you make tea.