#wait i hope this was a joke

[xoluvx]

The fact i'm not the only one who finds harper to be a little weird 👀

Praying for your safety boo

harper is my little weirdo 💖 leave her alone!!

she totally didn’t make me type this i promise .. 🙂

[motherofoompaloompas]

Please vote ❤️

[solarmorrigan]

Silly idea I talked about ages ago with @azure7539arts, inspired by a similar event my workplace hosts every year. Would minors be allowed to participate in such an event? Probably not! But then again, it was the 80s, who can say for sure. Anyway, it's my birthday and I'll post nonsense if I want to <3

-

“I need you to buy me.”

Eddie looks up from his notebook, effectively jarred from his campaign-plotting fugue state by Steve’s declaration.

Steve is standing at the other end of the dining table, staring at him expectantly.

“Y’know, this is the part where someone usually follows up their completely bonkers demand with an explanation,” Eddie says slowly.

“At the charity auction,” Steve clarifies. “I need you to bid on me, and I need you to win.”

Ah, yes, that weird Rent-an-Athlete charity auction the school runs every year; anyone on any Hawkins High sports team could volunteer to be “auctioned” off in order to raise money for said sports team, to spend a day at the beck and call of the highest bidder (within reason, supposedly). It’s generally restricted to students, but occasionally, prominent alumni are invited to participate – and Steve certainly fits the bill, especially after the story the government spun about his heroism in the face of “serial killer” Henry Creel last spring.

“And what, deny all those pretty girls a chance to get at you?” Eddie asks drily (he’d never turned up at previous auctions himself, but you could hardly avoid gossip in a school their size; it had usually been some cheerleader bidding with daddy’s money who won a date– that is, a day with Steve Harrington).

“It wasn’t always a girl who won,” Steve says, crossing his arms over his chest. “One time it was Mrs. Dalton – you know, the lady on the school board who lives on my block? I just spent the day doing yard work for her. She gave me lemonade. That was pretty cool.”

“Right,” Eddie drawls. “And I’m sure she definitely didn’t sit outside and stare at your ass while you were working.”

“She did not– she– I mean she was on the porch, but, like– she wouldn’t have– she’s, like, seventy, Eddie,” Steve splutters, and it’s all Eddie can do not to laugh.

“Older gals have needs, too, Steve,” Eddie says, giving in to a smirk. “So she was checking you out from the porch, huh?”

Steve goes red. “Shut up, that isn’t the point. I’m trying to ask for your help.”

“Right, right, your absolutely reasonable request for me to buy you at market. Why, again?” Eddie asks.

“The kids are planning to bid on me,” Steve says gravely.

Eddie blinks at him. “Okay?” he says, when no further explanation is forthcoming. “You basically do most of what they ask, anyway, so…?”

“Okay, believe it or not, I actually say no to at least half of what they ask me to do. I would literally never get anything done if I gave in to all their demands.” Steve jabs a finger at Eddie, who holds up his hands in mock surrender. “Anyway, this is all Henderson’s fault.”

“It usually is,” Eddie agrees, nodding sagely.

“He decided that he was going to bid on me and then use that day to finally make me play your nerd game with you–” Eddie snorts, and Steve shoots him a look, “but Wheeler doesn’t want me to play, so he said he was going to bid against Dustin and make me do anything but sit in on a session with you guys.”

“So let Wheeler win.” Eddie shrugs.

“No! I can’t let fuckin’ Mike win, he’ll probably make me do something even more ridiculous!” Steve exclaims. "He’ll make me play chauffeur for him and El on a date, or something, and he’ll probably include the stupid hat.”

“Wait, I thought El broke up with him,” Eddie breaks in.

“No, they’re on again,” Steve says absently, shaking his head. “Which is why Max has been in a bad mood lately.”

Eddie bites back the reflexive need to ask “How can you tell?”, going instead with, “I thought she and Sinclair were on again.”

“No, they are. That’s why no one’s been actively murdered,” Steve says.

“How do you keep track of all of this?” Eddie asks, squinting at Steve.

“It’s a natural skill. And we’re getting off track,” Steve says quickly. “Normally, I wouldn’t be that worried, because Dustin regularly blows his savings on weird science gadgets or whatever, but then Lucas and Will started taking sides.”

“This is getting very involved,” Eddie says.

“So you see why I’m stressed!” Steve insists, smacking a hand to his forehead (personally, Eddie thinks Steve is stressed for many other reasons, but he figures pointing that out just now won’t be appreciated). “Lucas is on Dustin’s side, and that kid does odd jobs like nobody’s goddamn business; he actually has shit saved up. And usually I’d have faith in him being more, like, sensible than to spend it all on this, but the little shit is really fucking competitive.”

“Wonder who he got that from?” Eddie mutters.

“Okay, we do remember that I’m not actually biologically related to any of these idiots, right?” Steve snaps.

“Well now we’re just getting into nature versus nurture–”

“Eddie.”

“Right, sorry, continue.”

“Well, Will took Mike’s side–”

“Shocking.”

“Right? But anyway, I don’t know if the kid has much saved up, but between him and Wheeler, they might be able to win.” Steve sighs, looking far more world-weary than Eddie feels the situation really warrants.

“You know you don’t actually have to do what they ask you to, right?” Eddie points out.

Steve rolls his eyes. “If an auction winner complains to the school that the person they bid on didn’t fulfill their end of the bargain, they can get their money back. It’s a whole…” he waves his hand vaguely, “thing. Happened once when I was a sophomore; Deacon McNab. Lost a good chunk of change for the football team, and they vandalized the shit out of his car.”

“Ah, right. Forgot we went to school with literal psychopaths,” Eddie hums.

“So, I just need you to bid on me and win, so I’m not stuck wasting a Saturday on whatever the hell the kids are going to try to make me do. Or not do. Or– whatever,” Steve says.

“Okay, not that I don’t understand your predicament here, but I think you’re forgetting something kind of important, Steve,” Eddie drawls.

Steve’s brows draw together in question. “What?”

“I’m fucking poor.”

“Oh.” Steve shakes his head. “I didn’t mean– no, I will give you the money, you don’t have to spend a dime, man, I just need you to get me out of this.”

“Why not have Buckley do it?” Eddie asks.

“That was Plan A, but she actually has a date that night, and it’s kind of a big deal, so I don’t want her to cancel,” Steve says. “But I assumed you wouldn’t be busy.”

“Wow, rude,” Eddie scoffs, and Steve sighs.

“Fine, sorry, I just really hoped you wouldn’t be busy.” Steve gives him the most lethal set of puppy dog eyes Eddie has ever seen, as if there had been any chance from the beginning that he’d be able to say no. “Please?”

Just for show, Eddie lets out a long sigh, falling against his chair and letting his head flop over the backrest like he’s deflating.

“Fine.”

“Thank you,” Steve groans, sounding so genuinely relieved that Eddie almost feels bad about how quickly his thoughts dip into the realms of the inappropriate. “Oh my god, I owe you.”

Eddie glances back up at Steve, tongue darting out to wet his lips almost unconsciously. “You know I’m not as easy to appease as a couple of fifteen-year-olds, right?”

Steve’s eyes drop for just a second—maybe down to Eddie’s lips, maybe not; who can say?—before he looks back up, cocking an eyebrow at Eddie. “I think I can handle it.”

Slowly, Eddie grins. “We’ll see.”

[royalarchivist]

Fit: So as many of you are aware– our good friend Tubbo is in a boxing match here in Florida in June. Our friend Tubbo is going to be participating in a boxing match. Well... I messaged him the day of the announcement... We've been talking about this–

Fit: Since I'm going to be in Brighton in May, Tubbo and I are gonna spar, since I used to do boxing. He's gonna- he's gonna spar me so we can get him ready for his fight. You know, I think– I think I'll be a good challenge for him. No, 'cuz think about it– because he's gonna be fighting someone that's a little taller than him and weighs more than him. I'm taller than him, and I weigh more than him, and I have boxing experience, so I'm going to be a good test for him. I'm gonna be a good test for him. It's gonna be fun– yeah, I'm pretty sure we're gonna film it. I dunno if it'll be a stream, but it will at least be filmed.

Fit: But... since I used to do– like basically, I trained for a year and a half under a professional boxer myself. I'm n- I'm by no means like, amazing, but like, I can go toe-to-toe. I guarantee you though... I know Tubbo, I've hung out with him. He might be sandbagging right now, he might actually– he might actually be really good at fighting and is just hiding it, but we'll find out. We'll find out, because once he gets in the ring with me, you know, we're– Obviously we're not gonna hurt each other, it's just sparring, it's just for technique and what have you, but... I mean, I'm not- I'm not gonna cower away. If you're throwing a punch at me, I'm just gonna take it! [Laughs] You know what I'm saying? I'm just gonna take it.

Fit: But it'll be fun, it'll be fun. You know, I think it'll be a great way to get him ready for his fight. So... but yeah, no- I'm not- we're not gonna kill each other, don't worry. Don't worry. But then, hopefully I'll be at ringside to support him.

Dono: the girls are fighting!!

Fit: [Laughs] No, it'll be- it'll be entertaining. It'll be entertaining. And it's for charity, right? I- I dunno what charity, but it's for charity, supposedly, so... That's good. [Thanks a sub] But no, it'll be fun. 'Cuz– we originally were just gonna hang out, but then this announcement came, I'm just like, "Bro, let's put the gloves on! Let's see- let's see what you got."

[vanicahgg]

LOVE AND DEEPSPACE GIRLIES👏 YOUVE HAD AN HOUR SINCE THE DROP👏

👏WHERE👏ARE👏THE👏FANFICS👏👏👏👏

[keokartoffel]

Ho Ho Ho, Chaos Control Happy Holidays! 🎄

[aychama]

WHAT.

Lmao watch him wobble his way outta there

Previous / Next / First

[finifugue]

something something Logan "my best friend on the grid is Oscar" Sargeant

and Oscar "I know Lando the best" Piastri

and Lando "Oscar doesn't play golf or Padel (like me and Carlos)" Norris

and Carlos "most physically affectionate with Charles" Sainz

and Charles "my best friend on the grid is Pierre" Leclerc

and Pierre "why are you all so weird about your teammates I fucking hate my teammate" Gasly

[screwpinecaprice]

Infinite kisses

[merlins-strawberriesandroses]

The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.

[liauditore]

this mf really took one look at the etho situation this season and went obsessed?? let me show you obsessed and i appreciate that

[ghoulishtomato]

Dave Strider would be proud of me.

[ratatatastic]

Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...

Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)

[aux-barricades]

So when your friend Jonathan Harker goes on a trip and tells you all the details about the places he visits, he's an "adorable dork" and you "can't wait for his next email", but when I, Victor Hugo,

[royalarchivist]

[princeofcyberpunk]

hi motorcity fandom is this anything

i was not expecting the cartoon about teens with cars to genuinely change how i view the world