#wait for 2013 it get's better

[batsplat]

do you have a favorite bit of motogp gossip that you either want to know is it’s true, or you just enjoy as a stand alone piece, no need for further investigation?

one of those where I initially stared at and like. lost all motogp knowledge in my brain. and then stuff did come back to me. this is all very much low hanging fruit and I'll add to it when I remember more interesting/quirky ones. BUT here are some things I want to know:

y'know how casey randomly suggests in his autobiography that valentino was sabotaged in the 2006 title decider? so, personally, I don't really buy this, because 'why' and also 'casey girl you are SO paranoid' - though, sure, if given the option I'd like to double check if valentino had a dud tyre (completely plausible) and also if somebody really deliberately gave him one (?? casey idk about this one). but what I'm REALLY curious about is... there's a change in his autobiography?? like I've seen this book excerpt float around online and the text is different from what's in my book!! mine's from the paperback version so I assume there may have been some edits for that, so that would make it the newer version... but like. this is a real editorial change. check this out:

version posted on the internet, from the hard cover edition???

version in my book, first paragraph is the same

But as soon as the lights went out Valentino was in trouble. I was one of six riders to pass him on the first lap and if you watch the footage you can see how much he is struggling to even keep up with us. His rear and front tyres were just not working together and on lap five the front inexplicably folded and he went down, right behind me. I couldn't help but wonder how he could be having such problems with his tyres. Could he really have been stitched up? It seemed so improbable, but I remember watching that race back in the motorhome that evening and thinking, Welcome to my world, mate.

this isn't 'gossip' because I haven't found anyone else who has spotted this, but like? that's a substantive change? if my one really is the newer one? ...?

let's set aside the fascinating insight you get into casey's knotty and at times bizarre valentino rossi complex with him adding the line "welcome to my world, mate" (oh my god. please just take him to dinner. I will crowd fund this I literally just need to be able to listen in. casey come on CALL him I NEED you to do the dinner thing, YOU suggested it not me). like we're not going to even touch that. but if my version really is the updated one, then he's kinda softened his stance, no?? "convinced he was stitched up" to "could he really have been stitched up"

what happened?? who wanted this change? casey? an editor? did dorna give casey a call? did some poor bloke from pr have to politely ask whether casey could please not state in his autobiography that the most popular rider ever had had a title stolen from him by the establishment?

(casey was talking about valentino's stolen tenth BEFORE it was popular. he did it even before valentino did, bless)

"there are a lot of commercial interests in the sport" also didn't make the jump to the 'new version', mind you. did Big America get to casey

come on you guys have to admit this is an odd change?? does nobody else thing this is weird??

okay fine moving on

Did Valentino Literally Curse Sete

(like. not literally as in did he curse curse sete, literally as in did he say it)

(though if he did literally literally curse curse sete, I suppose I'd also like to know that bit)

the commentators in 2003 brno say so and I'm inclined to believe them, but I need to double check whether sete and valentino really were partying on ibiza together right after that very painful valentino loss at the sachsenring. such a fascinating little detail, that's not something post-2004 valentino does I reckon

I mean, look, obviously a bunch of things from that time period I want to have fact checked. including valentino's friend hearing sete say in late 2003 that valentino wasn't going to be smiling so much after joining yamaha. classic bit of gossip, did it actually happen though

I've referenced this a few times before, but y'know how valentino said that marc's manager alzamora told him after sepang 2015 that marc had been angry at valentino for killing his title charge? I just want. to know. if this conversation actually happened. I don't think valentino would pluck a lie like that out of thin air, especially something so specific about somebody on marc's team, and he has known alzamora for decades but like. maybe almazora just said something valentino misinterpreted? I just find this such a bonkers thing from alzamora if it's true that I would like it confirmed for my own sanity, you know?

yeah look I would like to know if marc really did get casey kicked out of honda, obviously I've discussed this before and it's very he said she said but yeah it'd be fun to know the truth

this is literally peak gossip because I can't find a source for it but I swear a journalist did say it: the rumour is that marc blocked joan mir from joining honda in 2019. like, I'm only including this because I was explicitly asked for gossip as I just cannot find where it was said... but it is something that is. out there. and... again, just curious. like I buy it, but also it could be bullshit!

on a similar note, did he ever make clear to honda he didn't want either vinales or rinsy on his team circa 2016? was it just a vibe in the paddock or was this an actual demand from marc?

speaking of!! the whole thing about alzamora basically rigging the moto3 teammate situation between rinsy and alex marquez to ensure the latter won the title that year. what was that all about, how far did they go there

switching to valentino now. this doesn't quite fit the remit of the question because it IS something I've investigated. and my conclusion is basically a big *shrug*

did valentino block casey from joining yamaha in either 2005 or 2006, and did he attempt to block jorge?

there are completely contradictory sources on the timeline here that do make me feel like there's a chance yamaha was just fucking with casey at the very least in 2006 and valentino had fuck all to do with it, which a recent interview from casey did actually hint at too... he made it sound like maybe yamaha was just using him to try to drive down the price of another rider (which would then presumably be jorge)

I just want to know! and the thing is, it was a matter of open paddock discussion that valentino blocked casey (jorge explicitly references it in in 2007), but something doesn't quite add up between what jorge, casey, colin edwards, articles from the time and lin jarvis have said on the subject! my current pet theory is that valentino blocked casey in 2005 from joining the satellite yamaha team in 2006 (weirdly casey doesn't really imply valentino was responsible for this one in his autobiography, but whatever) but NOT in 2006 (casey does imply valentino was responsible here, you see my problem). and yamaha was fucking around with all four of valentino, casey, jorge and edwards in late 2006/2007. but. yeah. I have unanswered questions

the entire 'alex marquez blocked from yamaha' situation.... again. something is off there. you know the story from late last year about how he was blocked in 2019 from joining the petronas team in 2021? this completely threw me, because there was an entirely different story about this YEARS back in 2018!! I initially assumed the two stories were about the same event, but it can't have been! one's him being blocked in 2019 for 2021, one's him being blocked in 2018 for 2019

from the descriptions of both there's also no confusing them. the 2018 story has to be about the 2018 contract cycle because that's quite literally when it was published, and the 2023 story has to be about the 2019 contract cycle because it explicitly references the space fabio would create by moving to the factory team for 2021, which obviously wouldn't make sense before fabio's actual rookie season. like they have to be about different stories

and in that same 2018 story, marc said that back in 2016 lin jarvis told him no marquez would be joining yamaha:

again, this was in 2018!!

plus, he did say back in 2016 that he'd spoken to jarvis, which kinda backs up this is a conversation that did happen and marc isn't just misremembering the timeline/lying (the notion of marc joining yamaha in 2017 is fantastic, what an absolutely horrendous idea):

now what marc says in 2018 about his conversation with lin jarvis is very similar to petronas yamaha boss razali saying in 2023 that he'd been told by yamaha no marquez was allowed at yamaha. suggests that this is a thing that did happen!!

but again... razali was told that in 2019... after marc had already been told the same thing three years before that, and the exact same deal had already been blocked one year earlier... does nobody else think this is weird?? like, I'm not saying yamaha hq covered themselves in glory here, but is it not a little strange the satellite yamaha squad had basically almost signed a contract with the younger marquez again without checking in with yamaha, just ONE YEAR after this same contract had already been blocked???

again this isn't actually gossip because I'm apparently the only person going ?? about this but I'll say it: ??

kinda been annoying me since december last year, like I know it doesn't matter but I'm just curious about it! why's nobody else talking about the 2018 story!

idk my best guess here is that petronas yamaha was faffing about and playing weird games with the factory team, that the deal was never as likely to happen as they made it sound to the marquez camp. zero proof, that's me spreading rumours yeah... time to create some of my own unfounded gossip

(also of course I'm curious if valentino did have any actual involvement in this. like if lin jarvis was telling marc this in the year of our lord 2016, I'm assuming valentino didn't have to explicitly say to jarvis that 'inviting marc to the team for 2017' wasn't exactly high on his christmas wish list. it is interesting that marc frames it as jarvis making this about. like. all the marquez's way back in 2016, and again, would this really have been on valentino's radar at the time? that feels a bit...? alex marquez was thirteenth in that moto2 season? would certainly be very... thorough for valentino to already have had that particular talk with jarvis)

(mind u there's a fun moment in a 2019 presser where valentino is sitting between the two marquez brothers and the younger marquez is being asked about his contract situation, the implication being he'd had a motogp deal and no longer had a motogp deal. and he's answering and marc's doing his freak stare and valentino is Right There sitting between them... I <3 mess)

man did valentino actually ever fucking block anyone from joining his manufacturer #notmygoat. I still think he didn't know about jorge until the deal was basically done, had nothing to do with the younger marquez, at most blocked casey the one time but then yamaha wasn't actually seriously intending on signing casey in 2006 and was just using it as a play in their jorge negotiations, which.... idk. bit disappointing if true icl. I hope he blocked someone, I'll say it

(also. okay. I don't want to sound awful here because I do have a lot of sympathy for baby!casey but. ignoring the morality for a second, I do LOVE the idea that valentino blocked casey from getting a satellite yamaha seat fresh off his 250cc runner up season because it would conclusively prove valentino did ABSOLUTELY rate casey!! like he didn't even want casey to come close to being his teammate!! not even a sniff at his data!!) (genuinely this is the rumour I'm choosing to believe, I know there's a chance valentino didn't successfully block anyone and was just a complete flop but I want the 2005 one to be true. it really adds something to the rivalry idk... like ugh valentino saw how dangerous casey was proper early when much of the paddock wasn't yet convinced... cute)

moving on

there was a rumour in 2015 that valentino approached dani after aragon to complain about how sturdy his defence was, like moaning about denying him points and shit. now, there's exactly one article about this in marca that is the sole origin point for the rumour, and it says that valentino also interrupted a honda party after phillip island to complain to marc. this does not match up at all with anything either marc or valentino have said since then - and would mean you have to believe that marc wasn't actually blindsided by that presser... also feels a bit unlikely we would have heard NOTHING from any other source if vale was really gatecrashing a honda party

of course, neither dani nor valentino have spoken about this supposed post-aragon 2015 meeting either, not even when dani was kinda accusing valentino of hypocrisy during sepang 2015, but I suppose you could say maybe dani's just not the type of guy to bring it up again. however.... I do reckon occam's razor kinda applies here and if one of these stories is bullshit then they probably both are, plus it's not like marca is exactly a neutral source. still would love to be certain!! instinctively I don't really think that's valentino's style at all, but of course it'd be intriguing if the story were true because it'd be a sign of how 2015 kinda messed with him. but I still feel 2015 is more about him falling back on past tools he'd mostly discarded - rather than, like, acting wildly out of character, which again... well, this brings us back to how that kind of behaviour isn't really valentino's style. basically, I don't buy it, but that's kinda why I am so curious about it? because I feel like it would be really interesting and quirky if he had actually done that. does this make any sense

speaking of, again this doesn't really count because I did kinda investigate it last year.... but you know when valentino in that podcast referenced a conversation with marc around the time of sepang 2015, where marc stared blankly at him? I have a hunch about when that conversation happened, want to know if it's right. this also isn't really 'gossip' because this is a conversation I'm having with myself but

y'know when bez was injured on the ranch late-ish last year? a bunch of journalists pointed out how hush hush they were about what actually happened to bez - like they repeatedly drew attention to that because god knows THEY love some gossip lol. which probably means nothing, but I'm curious what the journalists' theory here is, like do they think it was an embarrassing injury?? OR. look. I suppose the conspiracy theory would be that pecco caused it (obviously accidentally!!) and everyone at the ranch knew it'd be a terrible look if they admitted that because of the whole title fight situation. call me casey stoner because those dots are not real and definitely have not been connected

okay, you know how there were rumours in the spanish tabloids bez said some real ugly stuff to marc at valencia last year, and bez didn't directly address it but freaked a little and did a sort of blanket denial that he'd said anything that bad? I don't actually think he did tbh, but again. would just like to check!

while we're already on bez, there was one report that the switch to aprilia was partly motivated by marc to factory ducati. again, not entirely sure I buy that this would factor into his thinking beyond the obvious 'this means the route to that factory ducati seat looks even more closed than it already did' angle'.... it's very much down my list of priorities but I'd quickly confirm/deny it if given the chance yeah

that's all for now lol

[redshoes-blues]

I’m literally buzzing, my parents bought me tickets to see The 1975 for my grad present, and my best friend is going to try saving up to fly here and go with me, which would be AMAZING if it happened!! Especially because we were meant to go see them together in 2020, but we all know what happened then lmao

[sebnameyourcar]

wait would you u want to explain the context of multi 21?

MULTI-21: A HISTORY LESSON

MODERN ASSUMPTIONS:

it has been over a decade since the 2013 malaysian grand prix. as the years have gone on, people have forgotten, or smoothed out, the minutiae of it.

when people talk about multi-21 nowadays, it tends to fall under three headings:

• evil supervillain seb was addicted to winning and didn’t care about his team. selfish emotionless robot. got booed for a year and deserved it

• cunty brat seb was a disobedient child and refused to listen to his team and faced no consequences ever because he was red bulls special little boytoy

• poor mark webber was betrayed by his team as he had been for five years. the win was his and seb stole it

but of course, nothing is ever so simple

BACKGROUND

by 2013, sebastian and mark had been teammates for 5 years, and part of the extended red bull “family” for 7.

when they became teammates in 2009, mark was the older, more experienced head. seb was the young wunderkind who already had a race win under his belt, more than mark had.

(ironically, mark won his first race in germany in 2009. seb wouldn’t win his home GP until 2013. seb has since called mark’s 2009 german gp win as one of the most impressive drives he’s ever seen.)

anyway. let’s go back in time. it’s japan. it’s 2007. and it is raining. it’s lap 45, under the safety car after alonso crashed out. the rain is TORRENTIAL, and mark (red bull) is running in 2nd. he’s so sick that he’s vomiting in his helmet. seb (toro rosso baby. 20 years old) was 3rd. hamilton was leading, and braked quite dangerously. seb was caught out by this, and crashed into the back of mark. both of them had been running in the podium places, and both had to retire. mark called seb a kid without experience fucking it up. seb cried in his garage. this is the first time they crash. mark later referred to it as the first time they made love on track because he’s a freak

fast forward to turkey 2010. they are teammates now, and have been for over a year. fuji 2007 had largely been forgotten. water under the bridge. they are fighting for the championship against ferrari and mclaren. mark got pole, but around lap 40 seb had caught up to him as mark had to save fuel. they “merged towards each other” (generous). mark didn’t give seb enough space, seb was too over-eager. people will have different opinions. unless you’re helmut marko, who will always back seb, since seb is a product of the red bull academy whereas mark wasn’t. mark went on to finish on the podium, seb had to retire. seb was PISSED! (sexy). this is seen as the start of the “rivalry” by many.

britain 2010. aka the mark-webber-slams-water-on-desk moment. seb was given the new front wing from marks car for qualifying because he was a better qualifier because his had broken in fp3. he would ultimately get a puncture in the race, whilst webber with the old wing came first, and graced us with the “not bad for a no.2 driver” radio message.

so, where are we by summer 2010 and spring 2011? fuji was no one’s fault really, turkey was six of one half a dozen of the other, but mark felt the team favoured seb. britain made that feeling CONCRETE in marks mind. then seb won the title in 2010 after not leading until the final race of the season. in the press conference before abu dhabi 2010, seb kept getting asked if he’d let mark past it if would win mark the championship, and he kept evading the answer. see, mark had been ahead in the championship, but he qualified 7th while seb got pole and won. so, come 2011, webber was convinced the team favoured seb. however, seb was by far and away the better driver.

so. britain 2011. an underrated moment of the vettel webber rivalry. mark qualified on pole, with seb p2. seb quickly took the lead in the race. later on in the race after some botched pit stops and drama, mark was close to seb. red bull told mark NOT to pass seb.

mark ignored this team order. he tried to pass his teammate, but ultimately failed to do so. it’s often forgetting in vettel/webber rivalry lore that mark was the first of them to ignore a direct team order. the difference was he just wasn’t able to make the overtake. here are two interesting quotes from just after the race:

and now. brazil 2012. another forgotten multi-21 backstory. it was the last race of the season, and seb was fighting for his third straight championship, only alonso could possibly beat him. mark qualified 3rd, seb 4th, and alonso 8th. seb had a rocky start to the race, which resulted in him being hit from the back & spun around. he pulled off the mother of all recovery drives to win the championship. alls well that ends well right? wrong. horner admitted a few years ago that seb felt that mark was to blame for the rocky start by forcing seb into the wall. horner even went as far as to say that this lack of teamwork was directly in sebs mind when malaysia 2013 came around. that that was seb’s revenge.

conspiracy theorists will say that mark forced seb towards the wall because he wanted his mate alonso to win the championship over his teammate. definitely possible but not confirmed.

so. here we are. malaysia 2013. it’s been 5 years of crashes, ignored team orders (mark), favouritism (seb) and finally an almost championship-ruining shove towards a wall.

seb qualified on pole, mark 5th. but mark took the lead after the first round of pitstops. around lap 46, seb was gaining on mark, who was on old hard tyres. team orders came through for seb not to fight mark. multi 21 literally means that car no 2 should stay in position ahead of car no 1. just as mark ignored team orders in britain 2011, seb ignored them here. the only difference was seb actually got past. mark was furious (“yep that’s good teamwork!”) seb, a bad liar, was hilarious (“i was really scared… all of a sudden he was moving… i had to…”) horner was regretting most of his life choices (“this is silly seb come on.”)

seb won the race. the most awkward of all cool down rooms ensued (“multi 21 seb. yeah? multi 21”) seb chugged an entire bottle of water. poor lewis hamilton just trying to disappear into thin air. underrated moment is you can see a clip of seb trying to explain something to mark and neither of them are having a good time. on the podium interviews after mark said “seb will have protection from the team as always” - harkening back to his long-felt belief that the team favoured seb, yet ignoring his own history of ignoring team orders, and ignoring brazil 2012.

seb would later apologise.

…

three days later seb would rescind that apology.

(“i was racing i was faster i passed him i won.”)

at this stage, seb had been the dominant driver for four years running and some crowds had grown annoyed at him, so used this as an excuse to boo him at basically every race for the summer swing of the season. seb spoke at the end of 2013 about how hard this was for him, and how he was thankful for the support of his family and girlfriend during the hard times. it’s important to remember that seb was only in his mid 20s when all this booing and controversy was happening. it’s a lot to shoulder, especially when you’re only doing what you’ve always done, what you’re being paid to do: winning.

mark would retire at the end of the 2013 season, though apparently he had already made up his mind before malaysia.

seb would stay at red bull for one more year before moving to ferrari.

when asked in 2022, seb said he wouldn’t change what he did in malaysia 2013. and in my opinion, he’s right.

unlike the mclaren clusterfuck of hungary 24, there was YEARS of history between vettel and webber before multi-21. grudges, crashes, hurts, pride, friendship, rivalry, championships lost and won. this was the cumulation of their entire careers to date, all of their mistakes and their motivations for better or for worse.

basically, it was never so simple as “seb ignored team orders because he was an arrogant brat” or “poor mark the team never liked him” it’s… well it’s all of the above. cheers for reading. fuck me i went on a bit

[lets-steal-an-archive]

Screenplays (so far):

In the Heat of the Night (1967)

Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song (1971)

Shaft (1971)

Blacula (1972)

Cooley High (1975)

Car Wash (1976)

The Color Purple (1985)

She's Gotta Have It (1986)

Disorderlies (1987)

Coming to America (1988)

School Daze (1988)

Do the Right Thing (1989)

Harlem Nights (1989)

House Party (1990)

Mo' Better Blues (1990)

To Sleep With Anger (1990)

Boyz n the Hood (1991)

The Five Heartbeats (1991)

House Party II (1991)

Jungle Fever (1991)

New Jack City (1991)

Boomerang (1992)

Candyman (1992)

Malcolm X (1992)

Sister Act (1992)

Menace II Society (1993)

Poetic Justice (1993)

What's Love Got to Do With It (1993)

Blankman (1994)

CB4 (1994)

Crooklyn (1994)

Jason's Lyric (1994)

Low Down Dirty Shame (1994)

Bad Boys (1995)

Clockers (1995)

Dead Presidents (1995)

Devil in a Blue Dress (1995)

Friday (1995)

Higher Learning (1995)

Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

Waiting to Exhale (1995)

Get on the Bus (1996)

Girl 6 (1996)

Set It Off (1996)

The Nutty Professor (1996)

A Thin Line Between Love and Hate (1996)

The Preacher's Wife (1996)

The Watermelon Woman (1996)

B.A.P.S. (1997)

Booty Call (1997)

Eve's Bayou (1997)

Love Jones (1997)

Miss Evers' Boys (1997) *new*

Soul Food (1997)

Belly (1998)

Beloved (1998)

He Got Game (1998)

How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)

Players' Club (1998)

Slam (1998)

The Best Man (1999)

Life (1999)

Love & Basketball (2000)

Baby Boy (2001)

Training Day (2001)

25th Hour (2002)

Barbershop (2002)

Brother to Brother (2004)

D.E.B.S. (2004)

Beauty Shop (2005)

Inside Man (2006)

I Think I Love My Wife (2007)

Notorious (2009)

Precious (2009)

The Book of Eli (2010)

For Colored Girls (2010)

Pariah (2011)

Middle of Nowhere (2012)

Sparkle (2012)

12 Years a Slave (2013)

Belle (2013)

Dear White People (2014)

Fruitvale Station (2014)

Selma (2014)

Bessie (2015)

Creed (2015)

Dope (2015)

Miles Ahead (2015)

Straight Outta Compton (2015)

Birth of a Nation (2016) *new*

Fences (2016)

Hidden Figures (2016)

Moonlight (2016)

Detroit (2017)

Get Out (2017)

Girls Trip (2017)

Mudbound (2017)

BlacKkKlansman (2018)

Black Panther (2018)

Creed II (2018)

The First Purge (2018)

The Hate U Give (2018)

If Beale Street Could Talk (2018)

Sorry to Bother You (2018)

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Widows (2018)

Harriet (2019)

Queen & Slim (2019)

Us (2019)

Da 5 Bloods (2020)

The Forty-Year-Old Version (2020)

His House (2020)

Ma Rainey's Black Bottom (2020)

One Night In Miami (2020)

Small Axe: Mangrove (2020)

Sylvie's Love (2020)

Candyman (2021)

Judas and the Black Messiah (2021)

The Harder They Fall (2021)

King Richard (2021)

Passing (2021)

The United States vs. Billie Holiday (2021)

Zola (2021)

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)

Master (2022)

Nanny (2022)

Nope (2022)

Till (2022)

The Woman King (2022)

American Fiction (2023)

The Color Purple (2023)

Creed III (2023)

Origin (2023)

Rustin (2023)

Rye Lane (2023)

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

They Cloned Tyrone (2023)

Nickel Boys (2024)

The Piano Lesson (2024)

[wonderjanga]

Ships 🚢

Flash, Superman, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), and Captain Marvel get invited to a little show. Marvel didn’t really want to go but GL and Flash convinced him with the promise of food after. Supes came because he thought it would be a great team bonding activity (he wants to hang out with his friends). By the way, the order they’re listed is how they’re sitting from left to right. Now, if any of them are being honest, none of them had a single clue what they were going to be doing on the show. They didn’t realize this until the host gave them tablets opened on Ao3 and told them they would be looking at their ships with other heroes.

Flash: “Why do I have so many with Marvel?” *scrolling through their tag on the tablet*

Marvel: “I think it’s because we both have lightning bolts.”

Flash: “Cap, that does not make it better.” *still sounds a little horrified*

GL: “I thought you had a girlfriend?”

Flash: “I have a wife!”

or

GL: “Why do you have so many with Spooky?” *leaning over to look at Clark’s tablet*

Marvel: *floats over to see*

Flash: *also leaned over to look at Clark’s tablet* “Bondage kink as a tag is insane.”

Supes: “WHAT. WHERE DO YOU SEE THAT??” *frantically scanning the tags of a story*

Flash: “That one.” *points to a different story*

Supes: “Oh my god.” *covers mouth, reading all the heinous tags on that post* “Oh my god.”

Flash, GL, and Marvel: *exchanging glances of concern*

or

Marvel: *scrolling his tag with GL* “Why do I have so many with Lantern?” *pauses to hold back a laugh* “Is this because of that time I had to carry you down when your ring lost charge?”

GL: *also scrolling their tag* “It better not be because of that.”

Marvel: “Or wait, do you think it’s because- wait can I tell them that?”

GL: “Tell them what?”

Marvel: *leans over to whisper in Hal’s ear*

GL: *mortified face* “Absolutely not.”

Supes: *thousand yard stare because he can hear them*

I’ll let you guys decide what he whispered to Hal. Please, pretty please tell me your suspicions. I love reading comments and a lot of you are really funny!

Marvel: “Wow. There’s a lot of Mary and Junior…” *sounds agitated*

Flash: “They aren’t dating?” *is joking*

He gave him the most judgmental side eye. It was almost as good as this.

I was inspired by this when I saw a fic that had a Clark and Billy ship tag. After being momentarily baffled and disgusted, I got the idea for this. I honestly didn’t think those were actual fics for some reason. I just thought y’all maybe saw it on deviantart in like 2013 and still talk about how disgusting it is.

[cruel-as-sin]

what happens when you say “i hate you” to different versions of logan (gender neutral) (smut version)

inspired by a conversation with @lostinlovingrevery, hope you all enjoy!

70s!logan

you’ve been having a really bad day. a really, really bad day. the last thing you need is logan brushing you off because he’s “got shit to do, doll.” so you say it, with a stomp of your foot for dramatic effect. you don’t mean it, he knows that. but you aren’t expecting him to also know exactly what you’re asking for, rough hands grabbing you by the hips and shoving you down onto the couch. he grumbles curses under his breath, fumbling with his belt buckle, and you can’t even process what’s happening before he’s pushing into you. the stretch, the burn, the overwhelming fullness, cause your eyes to roll back into your head. upon seeing this, a pleased expression comes to his face. your mind goes blank within moments, no thoughts except the man pounding into you, cigar still perched in his mouth, smoke blurring your vision as he grunts. “there we go. finally fuckin’ quiet.”

origins!logan

you don’t hate him, you hate the grocery store and those assholes at work and the guy who cut you off when you were driving home. but it just kind of slips out- you’re stressed, anxious, and your sweetheart of a boyfriend unintentionally becomes your punching bag. you’ve barely gotten out an apology before he’s wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him. he studies you with a serious expression, hands rubbing circles against your hips. “you hate me, huh?” you try to reassure him that no, of course you don’t, but he won’t listen, the playful glint in his eyes betraying his true intentions. “seems like we oughta fix that.” despite your protests that you’re fine, he carries you to bed with ease, laying you down and using his tongue to work as many orgasms out of you as you need to be happy and satisfied. “feelin’ better, sunshine?”

animated!logan

it comes after he’s slammed you into the danger room floor for the twentieth time that day. you’re utterly exhausted, just wanting one fucking win, but he’s not letting up. he doesn’t take it easy on you- never does. you have a lot of respect for him for it, but goddamn does it piss you off. that was probably the wrong thing to say, though, given the way he’s staring down at you right now. “hate me? that’s harsh, bub.” something predatory flashes in his eyes. “must not wanna touch me then either.” you get to your feet, glaring daggers back at him. he draws it out with a smug smile, waiting for you to admit the truth- it’s not about if you give in, but when. you’re too proud to admit it- so instead you drag him to the nearest closet, sinking to your knees and unbuckling his belt. his hand fists itself in your hair, guiding your pace as he fucks your throat. he makes you take all of him, forcing you down to the base, grinning when you choke on his cock. “don’t worry. i’ll take this as an apology.”

trilogy!logan

you’re play fighting in the kitchen- a common occurrence as he tries to interrupt whatever you’re doing. today it borders on arguing, which is why the exasperated words direct themselves his way, punctuated by a “so much” for emphasis. he just looks at you, with his gorgeous face that has your stomach doing flips, taking a few steps closer until he’s invading your space. “that’s not what you were saying last night, baby.” the memory of last night, his touch and his filthy words in your ear, brings heat to your cheeks. his breath hits your skin, his mouth tantalizingly close to yours, the proximity making you squirm. before you know it, you’re upstairs, a smug smile on his face as he makes you fall apart with his fingers, begging and pleading for more. the way you writhe underneath him confirms what you won’t confess, and he hums in fake contemplation. “guess you don’t hate me that much after all.”

2013!logan

you want to go out into the city, he tells you it’s not safe. it’s a debate that’s been going around in circles for days until you finally let the words slip. his silence, paired with the flash of anger in his eyes, tells you that was a mistake, but it’s too late to take it back now. not that you would dream of it as he drags you to the bedroom, one rough hand grabbing your chin and forcing you to look in the mirror as he sinks you down onto his length. the other lifts your hips up then drops you back down again, a slow but brutal pace. it’s too much, and you feel lightheaded as he growls in your ear. “what do you say, sweet thing?“ still, you’re coherent enough to remember your manners, babbling incoherent thanks and apologies, reduced to a basic vocabulary as he impales you on his cock over and over. tears begin to stream down your face, and his firm hold keeps you there, made to see the way he wrecks you completely, the way you fucking love it.

dofp!logan

you’re tied down to the bed, silk rope binding your wrists and ankles. he’s been teasing you for hours. logan always likes to play with his food- slow, methodical, taking his time with you. and god, you enjoy it, but you’ve been good today and you just want your reward. the words are muttered, frustrated, and you’re grateful when he keeps going. you think must not have heard you by the way he’s bringing you closer and closer to that delicious peak, until his gravely voice is right next to your ear. “careful.” he takes your chin, making you look at him as he pulls his hand away from where you need it most. his eyes are serious, his tone a warning, one that only further turns you on. a whine escapes you, your hips bucking at just how close you are, how much you need this. “don’t want me to leave you here, do you, honey?” he smiles in satisfaction when you immediately shake your head, begging him not to do that to you. “that’s what i thought.”

old man!logan

you know you shouldn’t have said it. of course you know you shouldn’t have said it, but that didn’t stop you from doing it anyway. logan doesn’t move from the armchair he’s sitting in, whiskey bottle lowering from his lips. he raises an eyebrow, looking up at you with an unamused expression. “you done?” meekly, you swallow and nod, mumbling a sorry and thinking that’ll be the end of it. but you think wrong. he sets the bottle on the table, turning to face you again, something serious in his eyes. “c’mere.” he pays his lap. you move to sit, but he stops you with a firm hand against your thigh. “bend over, sweetheart.” your heart races as you realize what your punishment will be. you do as he says, and soon enough, your eyes are filled with tears from the spanking he delivers you. “you know better than to pull that shit on me.” he grumbles, clearly disappointed in your attitude. “don’t do it again, y’hear me? got enough to worry about without you bein’ a brat.”

worst!logan

you’re standing outside the door of your apartment when it happens. you’ve been lamenting to wade and vanessa about how much logan drives you crazy, with his stupid face and huge muscles and unfairly sexy voice. unbeknownst to you, logan is just down the hall, coming back from the grocery store. looking back, you’re fairly certain both wade and vanessa knew he was coming before you did, deciding to leave you to your cruel fate. it isn’t until you feel strong hands on your hips and warm breath on the back of your neck and a suspiciously familiar sexy voice in your ear that you realize the trap you’ve stepped into. “you’re hurting my feelings.” you turn around and are met with a fake pout. who knows where wade and vanessa went, all you know is that he’s backing you up against your door, continuing to get closer even as you stumble through apologies. “that’s it? you’re sorry?” he flashes a toothy grin, something predatory gleaming in his eyes. “come on, angel. i know you can do better than that.” he’s cornering you: nothing to do, nowhere to run- except, of course, his lips. so you give in, tongue crashing against yours, his body enveloping your senses. and trust me, he’s gonna make sure you never think a single damn bad thing about him again.

patch!logan

you’re in the casino, begging him to let you get in on a game. he says your job is to just “sit here and look pretty, darlin’,” but you’re getting really fucking bored. the moment the words cross your lips, you regret it. not just because you don’t mean it, but because you can see immediately that logan is pissed. he gives you a look the likes of which he’s never given you before, and nearly shoves you off of his lap. you wait by the edge of the table until the place empties out for the night, thinking maybe he just needed to get it out of his system. but even when the two of you are alone once more, he still doesn’t say a word, just leans back and spreads his legs- a command, and you must obey it. so you do. crawling towards him on your hands and knees, reaching up to undo his belt buckle. as you pull his cock out, beginning to stroke him, the tip of his boot presses against your thigh, and you realize what he wants you to do. you’ll do anything to make it up to him, including sacrificing your pride. so you do: grinding on his boot, pathetic whimpers leaving your lips, muffled by the way your mouth is wrapped around his cock. all the while he says nothing, staring down at you with a menacing expression, and the only thing you can do is pray that you’ll be good enough that he’ll show you mercy.

cowboy!logan

you don’t even remember what you were fighting with him about. no, that left your head the second the unimpressed expression took over his face and the words “that so?” left his lips. you nod- stupidly, you nod. then you step back, but it’s too late, his lasso wrapping around you and tugging you closer to him. “ooh.” he sucks air in through his teeth, shaking his head with a heavily disappointed expression. “that’s gonna be a problem, isn’t it?” he doesn’t let you answer, pulling on the lasso a little harder and sending you stumbling to the ground. he leans down to be face to face with you, jerking his head toward the empty farmhouse a few hundred meters away. “you’d better find a way to make it up to me, sugar. and fast.” when you still don’t move, don’t say anything, he frowns, clicking his tongue at you. “get to it.” and now his voice has that commanding tone, and suddenly you are letting him pull you towards the dirty mattress in the farmhouse, tying your wrists to the bedpost as he cages you in.

[dear-ao3]

hey wait im also new to f1 but i saw the other ask and i was curious abt what you meant when you said no one will ever do it like nico rosberg?? also retiring after your first championship win is insane lmao what a power move

nico rosberg is just. he’s insane. he’s cunty. he’s wonderful. he possesses sass and audacity unlike any other. we unfortunately do not have time to get into his whole story (my lunch break is only so long) but here’s some highlights:

-technically he’s a nepo baby. his dad, keke rosberg, won the world championship in 1982 and they remain one of the Few father son duos to both win a world championship (don’t ask me who the others are idk but i know they exist)

-he and lewis hamilton met when they were kids in the late 90s sometime and were gokarting teammates at some point in i think the early 2000s? (not fact checking i don’t have the time rn) and they were Besties. they’ve talked about this before, mostly in older interviews, but the gist is that both of them were outcasts from the other karting kid in opposite ways (nico was the son of a champion and rich and lewis was from nothing and pretty much the only poc most of the time) and that drew them together and they were Menaces according to legend. everything was a competition and they trashed hotel rooms and ate pizza and ice cream and kellogg frosties and went to greece and dreamed of being in f1 together

-nico signed with williams in 2006. his teammate was mark webber. and nico had long flowing blonde hair (this is important). he crashed at one race and mark webber said “britney’s in the wall” cementing the nickname britney, like britney spears. jenson button (another driver) said later on that they called nico britney because he was “very pretty” (do with that what you will)

-he was just. insane. cunty. constantly looked like a european bond villain. wore god awful shoes. whole bit. once he stayed in his car when it got craned off the track cause he didn’t want his hair to get wet. which is insane cause he’s wearing a helmet it would have gotten equally as not wet had he gotten out.

-anyway, lewis made it to f1 in 2007 and they had their first podium together i think that year (?) and it’s cute and fun and oh boy you’re not ready for what these two have coming

-lewis won the championship in 2008 (but he almost won in 2007, his rookie year) at mclaren.

-nico went to mercedes when they recentered the grid in 2010. his teammate was michael schumacher, who was fresh out of retirement. (yes the michael schumacher, 7x world champion). michael fucked with nico endlessly according to legend, including making him piss in a bucket pre race because he would hog the bathroom until the last possible second. nico still out preformed him most of the time, and the car was mid as hell.

-michael retired part 2 at the end of 2012. and who replaced him but lewis hamilton

-so the two of them were teammates again. the cards were absolute Stacked against them. because yes they were besties yes they’d known eachother forever but the first person you’re judged against is your teammate. and you’re trying to beat your teammate. and lewis already had a championship. nico wanted a championship.

-2013 was relatively chill. the car was kinda mid. they did well but not fantastic and did some fuck ass pr (highly reccomend looking those videos up)

-2014 they had a car that could win. and they started fighting eachother for wins. they played all kinds of mind games against eachother and withheld stats and nico ran illegal engine modes (supposedly) and lewis said they were no longer friends after nico supposedly wrecked his monaco qualifying one year but they claimed they still supported eachother and were friends off track. lewis won in 2014 and in 2015. but nico was right behind him and he wanted to win a championship, he didn’t want to be a number 2 driver

-so in 2016 nico did some insane shit. he stopped sleeping with his wife so that he could get better sleep or something, he did weird things to cut weight, he basically did everything and then some to win. and then he did. he won the championship and then at the prize giving ceremony announced he was retiring. he didn’t tell lewis this.

more after i get off work :)

[sommerbueckers]

𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜

➪ 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐀𝐮𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝, 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝. 𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐝. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫’𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞.

______________________________________________________________

YOU STOOD IN THE hotel bathroom, slightly bent over the counter in attempts to be closer to the mirror. You carefully applied a red lip liner to your lips, trying your best not to get distracted by the buzzing blonde beside you.

"I better have mind-blowing sex tonight ," she spoke for the tenth time that night.

You paused your actions, "You fucking will, it's your birthday."

"I wanna fuck into the new year, that'd be sick," the blonde said.

"That'd be hard. Everyone's gonna be looking for you to say 'Happy Birthday' at twelve on the dot."

"Ugh," she threw her head back in frustration, "that's so shitty."

You finished your lips off with a smooth Pop! before capping the liner and slipping it into your clutch. You ruffled your hair a bit, the usual tight coils now hanging down your shoulders in a loose body wave.

Your best friend giggled, "You look slutty."

You gave her a cheeky wink through the mirror before the both of you were joined by her boyfriend, Jackson.

"Cara are we doin' more birthday shots or what?" he raised his brows.

The blonde gasped, "Duh! Nadja lets go."

You followed the pair into the kitchen where the last member of your group was idly sitting on the couch, he released a heavy sigh when the three of you entered.

"How are you gonna be late to your own party?"

"Relax Christian, I can show up at whatever time I want," she reassured the boy, dismissing him with the wave of her hand.

Christian turned to you and shook his head, "Remind me why I hangout with the two of you."

"Because i'm your sister and you love me, and me and Cara are a package deal."

"And who else is gonna be our personal bodyguard?" Cara added with a smirk, twisting off the cap to an almost empty Titos bottle.

She proceeded to fill four shot glasses to the brim and gestured for each of you to grab one. She drunk what was left in the bottle and disregarded it on the other end of the counter.

"What are we drinking to?" she asked.

"To another year of life, and the longest night of our lives."

...

A spotlight greeted the group as you all made your way through the penthouse. People Cara hadn't even seen before were there to wish her a 'Happy Birthday,' thrusting drinks at her and smiling crazily. The blonde eagerly pulled you along, only settling once the two of you had reached the bar.

"Free drinks for the birthday girl," the bartender smiled flirtatiously.

"My best friend too," she added, slinging her arm around you and grinning from ear to ear.

"What can I get y'all?" he asked.

"Can I do a martini?" Cara yelled over the music.

"Vodka or gin?"

"Vodka, definitely."

"And for your friend?"

"A white russian," you said.

The man nodded and moved away to make your drinks. Cara smiled with satisfaction and excitedly shook you.

"This is going to be the best fucking night Nadja, all these fucking people! You're gonna get laid, I know it."

"Please stop saying 'laid,'" you laughed, "it's not 2013 and you're not Channing Tatum."

Cara threw her head back and laughed, "Fuck off!"

As you waited patiently for your drink (you were practically on top of the counter trying to see how much progress the bartender had made), Cara's hand flew to her mouth and she let out a gasp that was drowned out by the party.

"What is it?" you tried to follow her gaze.

"Paige Bueckers just walked in," Cara adjusted your head slightly and that's when you spotted her.

The basketball star was making her way through the crowd with a few of her teammates behind her, each of them holding a cool look upon their faces. After spotting Cara, the group immediately made their way over.

"Birthday bitch!" Nika exclaimed, tightly embracing the blonde.

"Holy fuck Nik! What're you doing here?!" Cara exclaimed.

"The team had a little break in the season, thought I'd visit New York and shake things up a bit," the brunette replied.

Turns were taken as the girls wished Cara their best and then moved to greet you. Now holding onto your drink, you gave each of them a hug paired with a wide smile.

"How are you?!" Nika yelled excitedly.

"I'm fucking great! How are you?"

"I can't complain girl," she laughed, "I saw that pic of you on the cover of Vogue, bitch that shit is hanging above my bed!"

"Shut the fuck up!" you drunkenly laughed, shaking your head.

The two of you were then joined by Paige and KK, the shorter girl staring up at you with wide eyes.

"Why the fuck is everybody here so big?" she laughed.

"No, no it's the heels. I'm six foot with these on but i'm actually like 5'6," you shook your head, rubbing her arm with your free hand.

"Oh my gosh Nadja Clark is touching me right now, i'm finna freak out," KK admitted.

"Oh no don't do that! Are you okay?" you asked with a look of concern etched on your face.

You had to admit that all the alcohol you consumed before arriving to the party was definitely having its effect on you. You laughed with the girls while they laughed at how tipsy drunk you were. Paige's hand found the small of your back to grab your attention, her scent drawing you in as you leaned in for a hug.

"You look like you're havin' fun," she smirked.

"So much! Are you?"

"Well I jus' got here, but yeah," she nodded.

"Good, that's good."

"Nadja!" Cara yelled, "'M gonna find Jack!"

You nodded and turned your attention back to Paige.

"How many drinks have you had?"

"Only one," you smiled cheekily, holding up a finger. "And a couple shots but that was earlier..."

She laughed, amused.

"Be careful tonight Nadj, I mean it."

You bit your lip teasingly, keeping your eyes on her as you backed up into the herd of people. Her gaze remained glued on you until you became surrounded by so many people that she couldn't see you anymore. She leaned back against the counter, a smile ghosting her lips, she could already predict the morning you'd have.

...

You were dancing with two guys whose names you couldn't remember for the life of you. They were YouTubers though, that much you were sure of. The entire place was practically shaking as people moved their bodies to the music, jumping from furniture to furniture, pouring bottles of alcohol on each other, rubbing their sweaty bodies against other sweaty bodies.

You allowed yourself to be fully consumed by the music, your movement becoming restricted as the guys pressed themselves against your back and your front. Your eyebrows slightly furrowed, not because you didn't like it, but because it was far too hot to be sandwich dancing.

As though your thoughts were being put on full display, the two bodies moved away from you and were replaced. This time there was only one, and their touch felt a lot more familiar than you would've thought. The big hands moved up and down your sides, squeezing possessively at your hips and holding you close.

You rubbed your ass against their front, your own hands playing in your hair. Everything about the encounter felt recognizable, the dance, the touch, the scent. The second you smelled that perfume you knew exactly who it was. Even in the drunken state that you had found yourself in, you knew that perfume anywhere.

You leaned your head back onto Paige's shoulder, closing your eyes in content. Her arms moved to wrap around your waist.

When the song ended you pulled away and faced her, "Hello there," you smiled.

"Hey Nadj," she looked at you with hazy eyes.

"You're drunk," you poked her chest.

"So are you."

Another song started, this one slower and sexier than the last. Midnight The new year was approaching, and the urge to go out with a bang was overwhelming. You laughed and leaned in closer, "Do you wanna go upstairs with me?"

The blonde smirked, "You can't go by yourself?"

Shrugging innocently you said, "Maybe i'm scared."

Your hand found hers and you led her toward the stairs, guiding her up to the grand office you knew was at the end of the hallway. You both stumbled occasionally, your laughter cutting through the silence. The music grew fainter and fainter the closer you got to the large double doors, and after checking to make sure you hadn't been followed, you pushed one open and entered.

Flicking on the lights and dimming them, the two of you were greeted with an office the size of an entire apartment. Two steps led down to two identical leather couches that faced each other in the middle of the room. A glass coffee table resting on top of a bearskin rug had a bottle of whiskey on it, accompanied by two glasses. Beyond that was a large desk with full length windows behind it. It was as if you could see all of New York and the hopes and dreams that came with it.

The same song that played on the main floor could be heard through the speakers on the ceiling, though it was much quieter.

"This shit is amazing," Paige mumbled in awe.

You nodded in agreement. Without the effects of the alcohol and the closeness of everyone else mixed together, the two of you discovered that you had become quite grounded. Now slightly sober, you made your way to the couch and sat down, Paige doing the same on the opposite one. She rested her arms across the back of it, still admiring her surroundings whilst you admired her.

You pressed your thighs together at the sight. Her legs were spread open and her lap looked inviting, but you fought the temptation. Instead, you reached down to take your heels off.

"How do you walk in those things?" Paige laughed.

"My favorite thing to do when I was little was wear my mom's heels, i've been doin' this for years babe."

"Lemme see 'em," she said, reaching her hand out.

You placed one of the large heels in her grasp, then massaged your feet with your hands.

"They're heavy as fuck. How much?"

"I got 'em on sale for $850."

"Damn Nadja, that's an expensive ass shoe."

"Every pretty thing comes with a big price," you said.

Paige raised her eyebrows and carefully set the shoe down, "Yeah?"

You nodded.

'What's yours?' the blonde thought silently.

"Come over here," Paige gestured her head to the space beside her, and you tried your best not to look too eager.

You slowly walked around the table and took a seat a few inches away from her. You frowned when she scooted away, your confusion then dying when she brought your feet into her lap and began to work her fingers into them. You bit your lip to hide the intensity of your smile, leaning back onto the soft cushions.

Your eyes glanced at the clock on the wall, 10:02. Two hours until midnight, two hours left to do something batshit crazy, something you might regret but would certainly never forget. Paige was staring up at the ceiling, her hands taking turns massaging each foot as she contemplated starting a conversation. Still a little tipsy, she feared she'd either say something stupid or forward. She wasn't even sure what it'd be, but if she said nothing, it could be neither, and she decided that was best.

"Wanna play a game?" you questioned her, leaning up on your elbows.

Paige's ears perked up, and keeping her head resting on the couch, she turned it to look at you.

"A game?"

"Yeah."

"What kinda game?"

"Truth or dare," you suggested.

Paige had a feeling where the night would go if she agreed, and yet she did it anyway.

"Sure."

...

Half a bottle of whiskey and roughly ten rounds of truth or dare later, the two of you were laughing uncontrollably, you wearing only your dress and Paige in her bra and boxers. You had lost your tights about six rounds ago and your panties went soon after that. Shaking your head with slowly dying laughter, you set your empty glass down.

Paige watched you intently, her own laughter ceasing.

"My turn?" you asked, to which she nodded.

"Okay, truth or dare Paige?"

"Truth."

"You're so boring!" you complained, dragging out the 'g.'

"If I pick dare again, i'm gonna be naked."

You narrowed your eyes at her, "Fine. But if you go truth then you can't drink on this one, you gotta answer the question."

The blonde nodded, "Deal."

You nodded and fell silent as you thought about what to ask her. She had to answer this question, she had no choice, so you knew you had to make it something good. You tapped her fingers against your leg, tossing a few of your options back and forth.

When you had finally decided on one, you had wasted no time going to ask her, but something had stopped you. It was the way she was looking at you, with that sinful glint in her eye. Her lip was taken in between her teeth, her eyes low as they ran over your body. You felt yourself grow hot at the sight, at Paige lusting over you.

The entirety of it pushed you to ask a different question, one that without the alcohol, or the urge to do something wild, or the fact that both of you were already halfway naked, you wouldn't have ever even considered.

"How long is it gonna take you to finally make a move on me?"

She wasn't shocked by the question, at least she didn't appear to be. She just smiled and tilted her head, still shamelessly checking you out.

"I wanted to make sure I wasn't reading this wrong," she admitted.

"And now that you know you aren't, what're you gonna do about it?"

"Well I can show you better than I can tell you."

______________________________________________________________

a little smth to keep y'all hungry but not starved

[fall0utmind]

thinking about marc never having had aftercare before pr maybe just never having it after valentino was angry with him that everything was always meaner after marc misstepped on track

pecco realizing that that little 22 year old with starstruck eyes was being treated like shit back then

marc being like uhm ill just head out and pecco going no??? sit down you can barely stand??? and marc just not understanding

OUGH

Yes!!!! Omg anon, yes!!!!

So this is 100% what I'm thinking. Marc never got aftercare with valentino. Back in 2013, their hooking up was never cruel. But after the ranch visit, it took a turn, bitterness seeping in. And marc knew no better, so he just took it, and it was HOT. But their was no aftercare, as things got worse, Valentino would just leave (or make Marc leave), or ignore marc. Would degrade him, but never follow it up with praise, would bruise him, but never soothe him after. It was cruel. Vale didn't even realise what he was doing was awful, but he was gradually getting worse - bitter and jealous about marc. Until, finally, it all came to head and sepang happened, and then nothing, no more hooking up, no conversations, no acknowledgement at all from Valentino.

So, Marc, poor, doe-eyed marc just thought it was all normal, didn't realise that he needed aftercare. He was just left floaty and adrift after sex- sore and slightly humiliated, even as he dragged himself back for more. (Valentino, as per usual, was completely insane about it all - didn't think about the consequences, too busy convincing himself that Marc was evil).

Now imagine, just like you said, pecco realising what happened. Maybe one of the first times he and Marc try that dynamic - pecco accidentally makes marc all spaced out; Marc underneath him babbling incoherently, his eyes glossed over.

Afterwards, not 5 minutes after Pecco has rolled off him, marc goes to get up, his eyes still glassy, legs unstable. Pecco watches as he stumbles to his feet, blinking rapidly as if trying to get himself to focus, reoreintaring himself in reality.

Pecco reaches out a hand automatically.

To reach out. To stop him.

"Hey, hey, where are you going?" He asks.

Marc wobbles, turning his wide eyes to pecco.

"Um, I'm going. Thats what you want right?"

Pecco gapes, unsure of what to say, what part of his behaviour had given marc that impression.

He properly reaches out, then, standing up only to tug marc back into his arm, pulling them both onto the bed.

"I can't let you go like this, angelo" he hums, the nickname slipping out. It only serves to drag marc back under, blinming slowly at Pecco.

The younger man sighs, running a hand through his hair and resisting the urge to press their lips together again. He doesn't want to overstep.

"Why not?" Marc slurs, even as he does, pecco notices the way his body relaxes subconsciously, sinking into Pecco's embrace.

"Because you're still completely out of it, it would be irresponsible, I need you to come back to me properly. Come on let me clean you up" he pauses,

"Let me take care of you," he whispers, holding his breath, waiting for the negative reaction he is sure will come.

Marc frowns, it's endearing when he's like this, still deep into subspace. Pecco is slightly shocked he can talk.

"But, what? Normally, I just left. You don't have to do this"

"Do what, marc? Because to me this is important."

Marc frowns harder, "be nice to me" he whispers.

Pecco's heart shattered. Then he registers marc's earlier statement.

"Hold on? You said that you used to leave. Leave who? Did someone let you go like this, with no aftercare?" He asks, trying to tamp down his rage.

Marc tilts his head, and yet again, it's incredibly endearing. Oh fuck, pecco thinks. He doesn't want to let Marc go. Like ever.

Before he can get too far down that habit hole, marc answers.

"Vale. Also, what's aftercare? And what do you mean you cant let me go, " He says softly.

Which firstly gross. Pecco does not want to think about Valentino right now. Expect, secondly, he kind of does because WHAT THE FUCK. Vale used to do this, let Marc go after and by the sounds of it never give Marc aftercare. Well suddenly a lot of things make sense. Anger bubbles inside of him, but he pushes it down.

Marc is staring at him, guileless and sweet. And pecco just can't, not right now.

"Don't worry about it, amore. Stay for me?" He begs.

And marc, he simplt agrees, content to be held for some tkme longer.

Pecco will deal with the other things later, for now, he has Marc In his arms, satiated and content. That's enough.

----

Well I just kinda wrote that???

So i hope you like it haha!!! Lmk

[theoddest1]

Let's Actually Talk About The Issues With Vivziepop

Okay, first off, hello you beautiful people! Sorry about this foreboding title, but I needed to catch y'all attention on this so I can break down the issues that I and many have with "Hazbin Hotel" and "Helluva Boss" creator, Vivienne Medrano. Now I am sure you all on here are already aware of at least a couple of the controversies that revolve around this particular creator and if you have seen my posts floating around already, some have been greeted with the problems surrounding her social media presence and just her overall as a person. I know seeing another callout on her seems very very tiring at this point, but I felt that a lot of the current callouts missed key details that were not at all addressed or properly delved on. I plan on shedding light on my issues with her and I hope you get where I am coming from when I say that she sucks.

BULLYING

Okay, I am starting off with Vivienne's blatant use of bully mentality, her agreeing or encouraging her fans to call people who see flaws in her works sub-humans or harass those who find issue or simply jest about her works trademark cussing and and overcrowded designs. She has had this issue for YEARS and refuses to grow up and act her age despite many telling her, even her own fans at times, that she shouldn't be acting so unprofessionally. Clearly, she doesn't care and thanks to her fanbase caring more about her feelings than her being better she feels as though she doesn't need to change or do better. This goes for her friend group as well, who defend her tremendously and act as though she is never in the wrong. Name one time a friend of hers called her out for acting childish, I'll wait.

Now, you're probably wondering, "Wtf could they have done to warrant such a response?"

Criticism...That's all they did. (White Text is random peeps they would speak with or maybe mutuals)

Keep in mind...they used to be a fan as well. They were also a minor at this point

But, Viv doesn't care, this person's critical yet harmless tweets about her shows is what lead to her painting them in a horrible light and making them out to be someone who has attacked her personally and as "nasty".

Rich coming from Viv since she is completely fine doing exactly that for "Ava's Demon". Not only does she criticize it, she takes a shot at the creator as well, but GOD FORBID others do the same towards her.

And according to someone who knew her well, it's all cause they felt creeped out by her.

Her hatred for criticism is so prominent that Ima makes that a section of its own. But let's get back on the topic of bullying.

Vivienne has a fanbase filled to the brim with pushy and overall annoying individuals who have harassed, threatened, disrespected, and wished harm on many people, all cause someone had a negative thing to say about Vivziepop's mid af show. One of the earlier known instances is the one revolving around a MEME of all things.

This was what started it all, and it led to both parties blocking each other and people being mad pushy and calling them an idiot and the like over their opinions. Now look, their take and you're opinion on said take is fine so long as you stay respectful and humane about it all, but don't dogpike someone all cause they think HH sucks. And while Viv can not control her fanbase, for they are not a hivemind (some of y'all act it tho, ima keep it real) she is seen here ENCOURAGING the behavior. Tell me how someone who doesn't even like your trash ass show has the sense to tell people not to harass others, someone with a smaller following, but not your grown damn near 30 year old ass?

Oh, but people wanna act like she can handle criticism, is a sweet person, and grew from her past experiences. Fam, she was 27 in this screenshot [December 16, 2019] and has shown no change from 2013 to fucking 2024. Over a decade of the same petty ass behavior, and keep in mind, according to several of her old friends and workers, she is worse behind close doors. WORSE. She's already acting like she got no damn sense out in the open, imagine behind closed doors.

Last but not least, a glimpse into her outright blatant slander towards Dollcreep, a once good friend of hers that she even visited and spoke with frequently!

She stated that they fetishized pedophilia yet according to the victim and friends of the victim who were once friends with Viv as well, Viv actually threatened to end their friendship if he hadn't drawn NSFW art of her character and his character having sex [Addi was 15 at the time this was drawn]

On top of that, she liked the post, something she didn't need to do. The art also depicted things she had regularly drawn on her own. Addi being tied up forcefully, being sexualized, being harmed to some degree through bondage, etc. The claim that she forced DC to draw this out is backed up by her own art depicting similar elements. Also, if my memory serves me well, Viv and Doll were 17-18 years old [Doll was 17 Viv 18] and have a 1-year age gap. The way Viv frames things here is as if DC was way older and imposed some sort of power over DC, which sources say otherwise. If anything, Viv had a LOT of control throughout all of this drama, which deserves its own section.

I'll be making posts that talk about the different issues regarding Viv, so one post isn't too long (this one is already lengthy enough) and that you can just pick at one post targeting certain issues around this creator.

[crownics]

The curious “love triangle” between Paul, John and Brian (A long sequence.)

“This was the state of play in the music business and wider world on the day the Beatles had their arranged second meeting with Brian Epstein to discuss management — the day they said yes. [...] John, George and Pete arrived, Paul didn’t. Five minutes passed. Ten. Fifteen. Brian became edgy. [...] Beyond this, Paul’s non-arrival made things awkward — Brian wouldn’t want to say everything twice, so they waited for him to show… and waited. 

Brian’s irritation couldn’t be suppressed. [...] ‘I was a bit put out’, Brian said two years later, more coolly collected. ‘I thought, ‘This is the first meeting, they want to do something about management…’. He had every right to wonder what was going on. Paul was patently ambitious, liked to impress, and the Beatles needed a manager, so why was he doing this to the one person trying to help him, probably the only man in Liverpool who stood any chance of getting him everything he wanted?

After three-quarters of an hour, Brian suggested George phone Forthlin Road to establish when Paul had left for the bus. He returned saying Paul had only just got out of bed, was now having a bath, and would be along when he was done. Brian blew… but ended up being charmed and laughing, the usual Beatle mix.”

“It’s unlikely Paul arrived much before six, when Brian finally got to explain in detail the London meetings he’d had on their behalf. [...] Brian was, in several ways, the ideal manager for Paul. [...] However, John remembered Paul’s attitude to Brian being very different. John was always emphatic that Paul didn’t want Brian as the Beatles’ manager and presented obstacles to destabilise him, to make his job difficult, like turning up late for meetings.

‘Three of us chose Epstein. Paul used to sulk and God knows what. [Paul] wasn’t that keen [on Brian] – he’s more conservative, the way he approaches things. He even says that: it’s nothing he denies.’

Paul’s stance may in part have been a reaction to John’s, who always made snap judgements and leapt right in. It was a major and constant difference between them. As Paul says:

‘John said to me once, ‘Look, imagine you’re like on a cliff-top and you’re thinking about diving off. Dive! Try it!’ I said, ‘Like bloody hell I’m gonna dive. You dive and give us a shout and tell me how it is, and then if it’s great I’ll dive.’ John always had a strong instinct to do that, but it’s not my personality.’

Paul has confirmed that he asked Brian most of the questions about the contract: there had to be a signed agreement between them, but there wasn’t one yet because Brian was still looking into it. Paul says they didn’t know the going rate for a manager’s commission — ‘We had a little discussion about percentage, whether it was going to be 20 or 15 or maybe 10 perhaps, you know, because isn’t that what they charge? We were pretty naive then’ — but, having mixed with other artists for the best part of eighteen months, they surely had some idea.”

“The decision, of course, was John’s. This democracy had a leader and only he approved the moves. It was time for another of his big decisions. His first was to bring in Paul and his second was to allow Paul to bring in George. This was the third. Should he admit Brian Epstein into their partnership, or not? [...] Brian was a man who might achieve it for him. Of all the characters he knew in Liverpool, no one better suggested the possibility. It was plain that Brian had a fragile personality, but he was also intelligent, cultured, a fellow reader and thinker, generous, smart, civilised, cool, edgy, arrogant and, most vitally, a risk-taker. There was enough here for John to decide, and to disregard Paul’s games. In time, he’d subject Brian to a few tests of character, to find out how he really worked — but, for now, John had seen and heard enough.”

— “The Beatles – All These Years – Extended Special Edition (Tune In: Vol. 2)” by Mark Lewisohn (2013)

“[Brian] was to love them in a platonic, almost paternal way, calling them ‘the Boys’ until well after they became men, and dedicating himself to their welfare and protection.

But he was in love with just one. Not with Paul, the most obviously attractive, but with John, whose tough-guy exterior hid a middle-class upbringing not unlike Brian’s own, and who’d needed an all-protecting father figure since the age of six. So, yet again, a back seat for Paul — one which this time he took with some relief.”

“On the Beatles’ side, there was never any doubt that being managed by such a prominent local businessman, for whatever reasons, would be a major step forward. But, as lords of the Mathew Street underworld, they had developed a super-sized attitude from which even their most career-conscious and punctilious member was not immune. When an exploratory meeting with Brian was arranged at the NEMS store after hours, Paul failed to turn up. George telephoned 20 Forthlin Road to ask what had happened to him and learned he was taking a leisurely bath. [...] At further meetings which didn’t clash with Paul’s bath-time, Brian set out what he’d do for the Beatles if they put themselves in his hands. [...] Paul was the one who questioned Brian most closely, asking if the plan involved changing the music they played or the way they played it.”

“Living on the fringe of Liverpool’s underworld as they did, the Beatles knew all about Brian’s secret gay life and quickly guessed his fixation on John. (Strangely, none of their families ever seemed aware of any of it.) [...] John wasn’t the only Beatle to arouse Brian’s ardour: Pete Best has since claimed to have been propositioned by him on a car journey to Blackpool while John and Cynthia were sitting in the back. But never once would he show the tiniest flicker of attraction to Paul.

‘I think Brian felt a bit guilty because he ought to have fancied Paul, but didn’t’, a former NEMS employee recalls. ‘That always seemed to make him a bit uneasy around Paul and try extra hard if he ever had to do anything for him.’”

— “Paul McCartney: The Life” by Philip Norman (2016)

“The Beatles spoke directly to the conflicts in Brian’s soul. Here were oddballs who exuded a shameless candor; here were rough-looking young men with the blithe arrogance of a charmed circle. It was as if Brian’s nocturnal life and daylight fantasies had met and fused on the Cavern stage. Epstein’s enthusiasm for the Beatles has been glibly explained by his sexual attraction to them, and to Lennon in particular. This rather begs the question of who, in that club, regardless of gender or sexuality, didn’t fancy the Beatles — they were polymorphously captivating. It is true that Epstein was sexually magnetized by Lennon, but it’s also true that he fell in love with the Beatles as a group, and it was this that led him to offer them a style of management unprecedented in the pop industry: one based on devotion rather than profit-seeking.

The Beatles agreed to a meeting with Epstein at his Whitechapel store, on Wednesday, November 29, after a lunchtime session. They regarded him as a serious player, a successful businessman with music industry connections — an ‘expert’, as Lennon put it. They knew Epstein was ‘queer’ too, which didn’t bother them much, although McCartney was alert to what it might mean for the balance of power within the group.”

“Epstein fixed a follow-up meeting with the Beatles for Sunday, at 4:30 p.m. This one was nearly disastrous. John, George, and Pete arrived on time; Paul did not. Half an hour went by. The small talk ran out. Finally, Brian suggested George call Paul at his home. George returned with news from Jim McCartney that Paul had just got out of bed and was in the bath. Brian was angry now and only somewhat mollified by the others’ good humor. (‘He may be late’, said George, ‘but he’s very clean.’) Eventually Paul turned up. [...] Brian was already thinking of America as well as Britain. ‘You’re going to be bigger than Elvis’, he said, a prophecy they found outrageous and thrilling. They agreed to be represented by him. Lennon later claimed to have made the decision himself, over Paul’s objections: ‘I make a lot of mistakes, character-wise, but now and then I make a good one… and Brian was one.’

We should be wary of John’s retrospective tendency to present himself as the driving force of the band, but Paul’s lateness to the Epstein meeting is well attested. Why did he throw a spanner in the works? He seems to have been uneasy about what Brian’s appointment would mean for him. Paul, who like John was a close reader of people, could see that Epstein was besotted by Lennon. He understood what that felt like. As he put it later, ‘I’m sure Brian was in love with John. We were all in love with John, but Brian was gay, so that added an edge.’ What worried him was John’s power over Epstein, and therefore his power over the group if Epstein became their manager. His concerns were not groundless. In his first months as manager, Epstein treated John as the most important Beatle, running any proposed changes by him before talking to the others. Lennon reveled in this role. He later said, ‘I was pretty close to Brian because if someone’s going to manage me I want to know them inside out.’”

“As for McCartney, he had given over school and the prospect of becoming middle-class for a career in music, against the advice of his father. He would have felt responsible for his family’s economic security. He was ambitious. Given how much was at stake, the idea he might become a backing musician for John Lennon was not worth contemplating. In the contract that the Beatles signed with Epstein there is a clause that says the manager may split up ‘the Artistes… so that they shall perform as separate individual performers’. Epstein’s assistant Alistair Taylor claimed that this was inserted at Paul’s request. Taylor recalls Paul saying, in an early meeting, that if the group didn’t work out he would pursue a solo career.

Despite his initial hostility, and one occasion when he sorely tested Epstein by skipping a show, Paul’s problem with Brian — or John and Brian — largely resolved itself. Brian learned to consult Paul, and his efforts on behalf of the group began to pay off.”

— “John & Paul: A Love Story in Songs” by Ian Leslie (2025)

“They knew [Brian] was homosexual, but that was all. John was the only one I discussed it with, as he was quite interested, but Paul I think was upset by it. Brian realized this and was always especially concerned about pleasing Paul, giving him the biggest presents. Brian’s staff told me that he worried most about keeping in with Paul and always answered his calls first.”

— Hunter Davies, “The Beatles: The Authorized Biography”, 1968 (Revised Edition)

“I heard there was an English guy drunk in the next-door bar, who I first thought must be a musician. But when I go in there, I find Brian Epstein sitting up at the bar, passed out cold with his head on the counter. So I go back into the Star-Club and tell John to come and help me get him out of there. When John comes into the place, he just picks up a half-empty glass of beer from the counter, pulls back Brian’s collar and pours the beer down his neck. I asked him if that was any way to be treating the Beatles’ new manager. ‘It’s OK’, John said to me. ‘I already gave him one up the ass.’”

— Horst Fascher about when The Beatles went to Hamburg for open the Star-Club on April 1962. (“John Lennon: The Life” by Philip Norman, 2008)

“Toward the end of April 1963, Lennon went on an eleven-day holiday with Brian Epstein to Barcelona — the one he informed Cynthia about at the hospital. It’s not clear why he chose to go with Brian rather than staying with Cynthia and Julian (‘what a bastard I was’, said John in 1970, recalling this), or why, if he was determined to go away with friends, he didn’t go with Paul, George, and Ringo, who all went to Tenerife. His decision may have been about consolidating his status as the Beatle who was closest to the manager. That was Paul’s theory: ‘John was a smart cookie. Brian was gay, and John saw his opportunity to impress upon Mr. Epstein who was the boss of the group.’

John was curious about Epstein’s sexuality and perhaps his own.”

— “John & Paul: A Love Story in Songs” by Ian Leslie (2025)

“LENNON: I was on holiday with Brian Epstein in Spain, where the rumours went around that he and I were having a love affair. Well, it was almost a love affair, but not quite. It was never consummated. But it was a pretty intense relationship.

It was my first experience with a homosexual that I was conscious was homosexual. He had admitted it to me. We had this holiday together because Cyn was pregnant, and I went to Spain and there were lots of funny stories. We used to sit in a cafe in Torremolinos looking at all the boys and I’d say, ‘Do you like that one, do you like this one?’ I was rather enjoying the experience, thinking like a writer all the time: I am experiencing this, you know.”

— “All We Are Saying: The Last Major Interview with John Lennon and Yoko Ono” by David Sheff (2000)

“Although Paul was the friendly one, within the setting of the band he was always slightly apart from the others, on his own. It was triggered by the fact that Brian Epstein was in love with John, so Paul felt isolated. Even after Brian had gone, it was something he always felt.

I remember after they had a Number One hit with ‘She Loves You’ in 1963, they came out to stay with me in my father’s house in Tenerife. Paul, George and Ringo. But no John: he’d gone on holiday with Brian. While George was busy trying to befriend the girl in the shop down the road, showing her the cover of the single, and Ringo drifted through the days, Paul resented John going off. It showed.”

— Klaus Voormann, “Who Killed John Lennon?: The lives, loves and deaths of the greatest rock star” by Lesley-Ann Jones (2020)

“‘Actually Pete’, he said softly, ‘Something did happen with him one night.’

Now that wiped the grin right off my face. Had I even dreamed there might be any truth whatsoever to the rumors, I would never have made light of the subject in the first place. Still — as John surely knew — I would have stood by him, and let the rest of the world handle the business of passing moral judgement, even if he had just told me he’d committed murder. And John would surely have done the same for me.

Which, after all, is what true friendship is all about.

‘What happened’, John explained, ‘is that Eppy just kept on and on at me. Until one night I finally just pulled me trousers down and said to him: ‘Oh, for Christ’s sake, Brian, just stick it up me fucking arse then.’ And he said to me, ‘Actually, John, I don’t do that kind of thing. That’s not what I like to do.’ ‘Well’, I said, ‘what is it you like to do, then?’ And he said, ‘I’d really just like to touch you, John.’ And so I let him toss me off.’ 

And that was that. End of story.

‘That’s all, John’, I said. ‘Well, so what? What’s the big fucking deal, then?’

‘Yeah, so fucking what! The poor bastard. He’s having a fucking hard enough time anyway.’ 

— Pete Shotton, “John Lennon: In My Life” (1983)

“John told me he had a one-night stand with Brian, on a holiday with him in Spain, when Brian had invited him out, a few days after the birth of Julian in 1963, leaving Cyn alone. I had alleged this brief holiday in the book, but not what John had alleged had taken place. Partly, I didn’t really believe it, though John was daft enough to try almost anything once.”

— Hunter Davies, “The Beatles: The Authorized Biography”, 1968 (Revised Edition)

“John admitted to [Hunter] Davies that he had slept with Brian ‘to see what fucking with a guy was like’.”

— Peter Brown, “The Love You Make: An Insider’s Story of the Beatles” (1983)

“Lennon’s sexuality has long been a subject of fascination for Beatles acolytes. [...] ‘It’s kind of well-known that Brian and John had some sort of fling, the extent to which we will never know’, Leslie says. ‘But it happened — probably. John was such a mess in so many ways; I think it’s been underestimated just how much of a mess he was. The others in the band continually had to manage him in order to keep him in the band.’”

— “Beatles biographer Ian Leslie on John Lennon and Paul McCartney’s ‘erotic’ bromance” by Nick Duerden (AOL, April 2, 2025)

“I changed the subject and told [Brian Epstein] that the few times I’d seen the Beatles, I’d found them so powerfully emotive that I almost felt I could have screamed along with all the crazy 14-year-olds.

‘Me too’, he agreed. ‘In fact, once I actually did. One night I pushed my way into the middle of ten thousand screaming kids, right in the middle of the chaos, and let myself go in a falsetto voice. I went absolutely berserk and it was the most erotic thing I ever did in my life. Like the first time I got to kiss John after I’d been crazy about him for ages. But afterwards I was incredibly ashamed of myself. I felt really guilty, as if someone might find out.”

“He obviously fancied me, and I made use of it to ask dozens of questions about his business and personal relationship with The Beatles.

‘There’s real love between all five of us’, he told me.

‘Despite the giggling guru?’ I asked, remembering that at that very moment all four Beatles were in North Wales with the Maharishi.

Brian looked hurt. ‘I never minded other people being around. I’m not jealous. Not of girlfriends, wives, even other boyfriends, but the Maharishi seems to want to kill their affection, not for anyone specific, but affection in general. He wants them to feel uninvolved with anyone or anything, but of course that’s a fallacy because they’re all completely involved with him, especially John. At the moment I feel I’ve completely lost him.���

It was obvious that it was losing John that hurt the most.”

— Simon Napier-Bell, “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me” (2005)

“Lonnie Trimble: He sat me down once after he’d gotten rid of Diz. It was the first time I ever went into his bedroom when he was actually in bed, and he said, ‘Sit down. I want to talk to you. I want to tell you about this and that.’ I said, ‘Wait a minute, now. Do you really want my opinion of what you’re gonna tell me?’. He said he did and I made sure to ask him three times if he really wanted my opinion. So eventually I laid it on the line.

I said, ‘Diz is in California now. Leave him there out of harm’s way’. Then Epstein said, ‘Oh, I’m gonna make him a star. He wouldn’t harm me’. It was during the same discussion that he told me that he and John Lennon had been lovers. Now that’s too much for me to take on. We’d never talked about his personal life before, so I left the room.”

— “In My Life: The Brian Epstein Story” by Debbie Geller (2002)

“Former Beatles manager Brian Epstein engaged in homosexual acts with one member of the legendary band — the gay pop mogul’s ex-aide claims in a sensational new book.

Joanne Petersen is working on ‘There’s A Beatle In My Closet’, which will expose ‘revelations of intimacy’ with at least one of the Fab Four, but she refuses to reveal which member.

Epstein, found dead by his devoted assistant after an overdose in 1967, was tormented by inner demons and had a hopeless crush on John Lennon, leading many to conclude the mystery lover was the Imagine star.”

— Irish Examiner: “Book to reveal Epstein’s ‘homosexual acts’ with former Beatle” (20 April, 2005)

“Paul McCartney loved John Lennon, who loved Brian Epstein, who loved Paul McCartney. All the whole London music scene knows this, and there, the famous suspicion about Paul’s ‘death’, which originated with an American DJ, didn’t catch on.

The ‘death’ theory is well-constructed, but the true story (the one about their faggotry) makes much more sense. And it’s much spicier. I prove what I said:

Everything was going great in the John-Paul-Epstein triangle. Everyone loved each other, they adored jelly beans, everything was rosy, smoke and mirrors, etc. Ringo and George Harrison were always on a different page. The duo was Lennon and McCartney — they sang together, composed together, did everything together. Together with Brian Epstein, of course, who was openly queer and quite relaxed about it.”

— “It’s queer!” by Nelson Motta (O Pasquim, 1970)

“Q: Have you ever fucked a guy?

A: Not yet, I thought I’d save it till I was 40, life begins at forty you know, though I never noticed it.

Q: It is trendy to be bisexual and you’re usually ‘keeping up with the Jones’, haven’t you ever… there was talk about you and PAUL…

A: Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein… anyway I’m saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc… etc…”

— “INTERVIEW/INTERVIEW WITH BY/ON JOHN LENNON AND/OR DR. WINSTON O’BOOGIE” by John Lennon (Interview Magazine, November 1974)

“Paul, with all his charm, knew how to bend people to his will. Tony Barrow, who saw Brian interact with all the Beatles in the London offices, recalls how John’s attempts to bully Brian never found an erotic charge in John’s bully-boy personality, but it was Paul, Barrow said, who knew how to seduce him. Platonically, but still. ‘Paul used the fact that Brian was gay to get his own way. He’d come in and put on his bedroom eyes. He’d use his own sex appeal to manipulate Brian into doing what he wanted the band to do.’”

— “Paul McCartney: A Life” by Peter Ames Carlin (2009)

“I found a love letter from Brian Epstein in Paul McCartney’s Aston Martin DB6… It was a love letter from Brian to Paul. It was begging… I don’t need to say anymore than that…”

— Francie Schwartz, BBC documentary “The Beatles’ Biggest Secrets” (2004)

“PLAYBOY: Pop historians spend a lot of time analyzing ‘the Beatles phenomenon’ and the dynamics of the band — your personalities, Brian Epstein’s secret love of Paul...

LENNON: It’s irrelevant. He wasn’t in love with Paul. He was in love with me. It’s irrelevant, you know.”

— “All We Are Saying: The Last Major Interview with John Lennon and Yoko Ono” by David Sheff (2000)

[freckliedan]

Wait you reblogged something about dnp getting outed before the height of the careers? Did I miss something lol when were they outed

oh my god. i love that this is not something everyone knows anymore. but it's also absolutely fucking insane to me that this knowledge could potentially be lost. it's the biggest piece of context necessary for understanding them.

they were outed in 2011 on a smaller scale and again in 2012 on a massive scale, both times by the same video.

on september 17th of 2011 there was a platform wide glitch on youtube where, at random, a bunch of videos that had been uploaded and listed as private were suddenly unprivatized.

one of the videos that was unprivatized was a deeply earnest private message to dan that phil uploaded on february 13th of 2010, because dan was in india with his family and it was their first valentine's day together. there are a lot of intimate details about their early relationship in this video.

it gets called the vday or valentine's day video by phannies because it was titled ":3".

it was only up for a couple hours, but there are posts from phannies within that span. they reached out to people asking that it not be circulated with a poor cover story (that it was a prank they thought better of because it would be too mean).

people did not publicly circulate it for a period of time, but on halloween of 2012 it got posted publicly and got spread everywhere immediately. that's the second and more major outing.

in the years of like, 2013 thru the end of tatinof era at least but likely longer than that? if it got posted anywhere publicly it would get copyright struck by phil and removed. i don't have a definitive end date but the copyright strikes aren't still happening.

the leak is absolutely what lead to the peak era of dan and phil's closeting. understanding their need for control and how momentous it is that they trust us with anything requires knowledge of this context, imo.

i don't reccomend watching it. i haven't in some time.

i am open about the fact that i did watch it as a teenager in november of 2012, back when it was still circulating on tumblr. when i returned a couple weeks later to rewatch it, the entire blog i'd originally seen it on had been nuked for copyright infringement, and that wasn't uncommon for the era.

it was a really bad time in the phandom. dan briefly made a "customer service" sideblog & vehemently shut down people speculating on his sexuality/relationship with phil.

all of the archival information we have on dan and phil—the dailybooths, the formsprings, the old tweets, the videos they've taken off their channels, liveshows, vyous, etc? so much of that information was saved despite dan and phil trying to eradicate it in the immediate aftermath of the leak.

it's incredible that we still have it all, and even more incredible that images from phannie archives have made it into their videos several times from 2019 onward. their relationship with us has changed so drastically since 2012, in ways beyond what we could've imagined at the time.

yes, they were outed. that's the context for everything.

[ultimateempath]

Pokemon Legends Z-A is already extremely precious to me but I can't quite describe the feelings its invoking, so I'm gonna explain it with a true story instead:

It's 2013, I'm only eleven years old, and the entire year has been absolutely awful for me. My beloved grandma had passed away from cancer that summer, so I struggled with that grief for the entirety of my first year of middle school. It didn't help that I only had like one genuinely good teacher, so I was left with a combination of fresh, painful grief from a recent loss and aggravated stress from unpleasant teachers.

Holiday break comes along and it's our first Christmas without Grandma, so I'm feeling worse than usual. I unwrap my gifts and brighten up when I find that my dad's present is..

..a pink Nintendo 3DS and a copy of Pokémon X. My very first Pokemon game, given to me when I needed it most.

I play it for hours every day, only taking a break when I get stuck on the elite four (though I did eventually beat them). I escape into the Pokémon world, finding comfort in the gorgeous scenery and relating to AZs own grief. I adore my pokemon team, pampering them in pokemon-ami and giving them all the love I possibly can. I explore every inch of Kalos, my beloved Fennekin by my side. I feel genuinely happy and relaxed for the first time in a long while as I take in everything the region has to offer.

Many years pass, it is now 2025 and I'm a grown adult of 23 years old. I'm doing much better, my past grief now a faint thrum that only makes itself known every now and then. Pokemon Legends Z-A was announced the previous year and Pokémon day has arrived once more, bringing with it a brand new trailer.

I see Lumiose City in the future, having grown alongside me over the years and now ready to be explored once more. I see AZ thriving with his Floette and deeply wish to greet him like an old friend, but I must be patient. ...I see the wild zones and wonder if maybe, just maybe, a wild Fennekin will be waiting for me when the time comes.

I'm coming home Kalos, I'm coming home....

[mrschwartz]

Alex Turner for Rumore Magazine (September 2013)

Seventies Heads and Modern Loves or I Don't Know What I Want But I Surely Want You

by Elia Alovisi

Until he opens his mouth, Alex Turner looks like he stepped out of the Nevada desert. Leather loafers, a belt, slicked-back hair, sunglasses. But as soon as he starts talking, between “summat” instead of “something” and “me” instead of “my,” he transforms back into a boy from Sheffield who grew up on cocktails and DJ sets. The discrepancy between the way he looks and the way he speaks is strange: you would expect a cocky and arrogant rock star, but instead you have before you a relaxed and thoughtful boy who carefully measures his words, but does so with a smile and not a frown. The lyrics of AM, the fifth album of his band, mainly revolve around difficult and elusive women. There are many questions. “Do I want to know?” “Are you mine?” he says; “Why do you always call me when you’re high?” she says. There is no shortage of desires: “I want it all,” “I want to be yours.” Absent, however, are the answers. We tried to get a few out of him.

How was it to be back at Glastonbury as a headliner five years after the first time?

Fantastic. Absolutely wonderful, this time it was very natural. Everything was harder in 2007, we had done a lot less shows and had a lot less songs. Now we have learned to move better.

After the experience of Humbug, you collaborated again with Josh Homme.

Yes, Josh is on Knee Socks, towards the end of the piece. We gave him carte blanche and he decided to sing a sort of counter-melody that reminds me a lot of Bowie.

Are knee socks your favorite piece of underwear on a woman?

[Laughs] What do you think?

If she has the right legs.

Exactly, yes. The best is the garter. But then they would not be Parisian anymore, right? And then they are thicker than women's stockings. However they are not my favorite underwear, I go with the push-up.

In the lyrics of Arabella you talk a lot about the universe.

I wanted to use that linguistic palette to try to describe a woman. There are many songs that use those sorts of words… galaxy, interstellar, constellation, things like that, but usually they are used just for the sake of being used. Instead I wanted to make them an active part of a description, they are images that I find very interesting. In England, on the BBC, there is this program called Wonders of the Universe, with Professor Brian Cox. And it is one of my favorite programs [smiles, pleased].

Barbarella also pops up in the text.

Yes, although I haven't read practically any of her comics and I've only seen a small piece of the movie. I don't really like B movies. To know her, you just need to have seen a poster, that's all you need. I just used her to make a comparison with the costume she wears.

How does the suite you sing about in Fireside relate to room 505 in Favourite Worst Nightmare?

Yes, I’m talking about a suite in my heart… or in her heart? Well, in someone’s heart. Room 505, in my mind, is something very concrete. I wrote that song on a train between Philadelphia and New York, my girlfriend was in a hotel waiting for me and I just wrote about that [Turner’s voice becomes increasingly whispered as the sentence progresses]. In Fireside, however, it’s all figurative.

So how much of your real self is in your lyrics and how much is just imagination?

There's no rule, sometimes there's a lot of me in the lyrics when you least expect it. I put little secrets in them. What I try to avoid is that people who listen to one of my songs say, 'oh, he's talking about that girl'. You know when you read a novel and, somehow, in your mind you see its characters with the faces of some of your friends, or your favorite actors? That's where I want to get to with my music, I want it to be like being in front of a story, not the evidence of two people with a name and a surname who are kissing. It's up to the listener to give them both a face. When I write I pretty much always have someone or something in mind, but it doesn't really matter.

How did you come up with the idea of ​​using John Cooper Clarke's words for I Wanna Be Yours?

We wrote most of the songs on this record on a four-track that I got for my birthday. I spent a while recording ideas on it, sometimes we'd loop a bass and drum melody for five minutes and the fact that it was on tape gave it an incredible color. Then I'd sit there with headphones and a microphone humming melodies, or making up silly lyrics to start coming up with ideas. One day, while I was jamming, the words I wanna be yours came out and I remembered that they were the title of one of his poems. I thought it would be cool to use someone else's words – and especially his, I'm a big fan of his. It's one of my favorite songs on the record, the lyrics alone make it different from anything we've done before. And then I love the juxtaposition of the slow, sexy, flirtatious music and his words.

The party you talk about in No. 1 Party Anthem seems a lot more laid back than the ones you’ve talked about in the past, like the house in This House Is A Circus.

That’s true, but the parties we go to are still pretty messy. They’re just twice as long.

Am I supposed to be imagining some sort of indie celebrity party?

Indie celebrity party? [Laughs.] No, no, no. The slow tempo of that song gives it a bit of a Los Angeles feel. It’s a city that I’m told is very similar to what we’re portraying on the new record, and I’m starting to think that might be true. Not that it sounds like the Eagles, you know.

It's like your sound is becoming more and more American.

Yeah, maybe. There's something special about that part of the world. Everything that came out of California owes something to '70s rock, the spontaneity of those rhythms also comes back in West Coast hip-hop. But then came the fucking '80s and… a lot of fucking bands that don't fit into that theory. I think there will always be something English in our sound, it's something we can never detach ourselves from.

How much does Sheffield still mean to what you do?

Well, you know… [he taps two fingers on a tattoo on the inside of his arm: the Yorkshire rose and underneath it the word “SHEFFIELD”].

There are three songs on AM whose titles are questions.

You don't notice things like that until you sit there and write the titles of the songs one after the other. I hadn't noticed until then, there are also a lot of wanna.

The protagonist of R U Mine? is wrapped up in a certain western imagery, you portray her as “a lone cowboy riding in an open space.” And in All My Own Stunts you talked about “watching cowboy movies on gloomy afternoons.”

I love the western style. The leather ties, the belts… Hey, look at this one I’m wearing! [He stands up and shows me his leather belt, turning his back: it has “TURNER” engraved on it, on either side of the horseshoes.] A friend gave it to me for my birthday, this year was really nice, between this and the four-track. I also love western movies, especially the ones about Butch Cassidy. I also love Ennio Morricone’s soundtracks, obviously.

How do you usually celebrate your birthdays?

They’re nothing too devastating. I have a birthday in early January, everyone is still recovering from Christmas and New Year’s, so the average response I get is usually “forget it.”

Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High? brings back the drunken text messages you mentioned in The View From the Afternoon.

We've all done that at least once, come on. Those lyrics might have come off the first record, but the music is fully invested in what we're doing now. I just wanted to write something simple.

While we're on the subject: when was the last time you got bounced at the entrance of a nightclub? It's not like From The Ritz To The Rubble anymore, is it?

Shit, that was like four weeks ago! [Laughs.] We were in Stockholm, we were trying to get into an area of ​​the nightclub and there was no way we could get in.

What are those Mad Sounds you're talking about?

That song is about those moments when you put on a song and it's like it's talking about exactly how you feel. It's a song about those songs, and I hope it can become one of them. I get that feeling from some songs by Lou Reed, John Cale, or Harry Nilsson. It's like sometimes they really understand how I feel, and you're like, "What the fuck..." and you almost tell them to go fuck themselves.

The point where the song explodes is when you start singing a series of ooh-la-la-la. What is the la-la-la moment that sticks with you the most from the music you listen to?

Definitely the do-dodo-dodo-do-do-do-do from Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed.

By the way, who came up with the idea of ​​calling a song The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala? What does that mean?

It came up one day when we were making up names for guitar pedals – sometimes they have crazy names. The Blond-o-Sonic Shimmer Trap  would be perfect for a fuzz, for example. The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala, however, comes from a bar we hung out in a lot while we were writing the previous record. The room was full of glitter and there were a lot of weird chicks all winking, like cougars.

The lyrics to Snap Out of It revolve around hypnosis. Do you think there's any real power behind it or is it just persuasion?

I've never been hypnotised, but it all seems pretty real when you watch hypnotists on telly. There's this show in the UK where this guy, Derren Brown, gets people to do all sorts of things. Crazy stuff like, "rob someone!" Nothing I'd want to be involved with.

In I Want It All you say, “Leave me listening to the Stones 2000 light years from home.”

I’m actually a Beatles guy, no doubt. But I like them both, I saw the Stones at Glastonbury and it was great.

Don't you think it's better for a band to go at the top of their game than to keep going and going and risk having nothing left to say?

What the Stones have managed to do is really extraordinary. I mean, they're seventy years old and they're still on stage. It's very difficult to have an opinion on something like this because I don't think I've reached that level yet. I'm very excited about the new album, we've reached the point of being a good live band and, speaking as an artist, I think I've reached a certain excellence this time. I want to build on that, explore new things. We still have a lot of places to go.

I think the main difference between AM and your previous albums is the small amount of guitars.

This time we didn't want to sound like four guys playing in the same room, while that's exactly what we wanted to sound like in Suck It And See. We immersed ourselves in a more minimalist idea. The guitars are perfect, sometimes they don't even sound like guitars from the way they're played, or from the effects we put on them. They sound a bit "spacey," they would be good for the stereo of a flying saucer. Then we came out with some bass and drum parts perfect to be played at full volume through the speakers of a car. We also worked much more with the vocal lines, especially with the choirs.

There are actually a lot of songs where you put backing vocals and backing vocals, especially One For The Road.

Matt, Nick and I do them. Jamie is the only one who doesn't want to have anything to do with them. It all started with R U Mine? , the part where we all start going: [hums the backing vocals]. As soon as we tried that part we realized how good it sounded, we especially liked the fact that it was something we hadn't done before. So we just went for it.

[puzzleshipping-library]

Any recomendations of Fics that's centered around the Post-Fire Arc? (After Yugi assembled the Puzzle in a fire) preferably based on the manga 👀

Wow okay, I thought I had one or two offhand, but ended up finding nearly TWENTY fics. Only one was specifically identified as manga-centric (see: Burning Hearts), the rest are a good mix of one-shots, missing scenes, and canon-divergences. Plenty of platonic/gen mixed in with the explicit stuff too. I didn't include any sweeping epics that re-tell the series because I think that's a lot of work to read if you're looking for one specific scene :')

Note: some of these fics are old enough to vote. Be sure to comment and give them some love if you read and enjoy them!

Anyway, here is what I've got, in alphabetical order for lack of a better option:

The Altruist by Bakura's Guardian Angel [Rated G, ~1.5k words, 2012]

The warehouse was burning, and Yuugi was burning with it. But as long as the Puzzle was complete, the Spirit had a chance. And Yuugi was the only one who knew how to put it together. So—no matter what happened to him—he had to fix the Puzzle.

Broken Pieces Amidst the Flames by Snafu Kazoo [Rated T, ~2k words, 2011]

Within the raging inferno, Yami nearly suffocates in darkness, and Yugi is willing to sacrifice his own life to spend his final moments with the spirit he loves.

Burning Hearts by Silvershadowfire [Rated, <1000, 2005]

(Manga-centric) Yami's POV when the Puzzle was smashed and Yugi had to put it back together.

Contact Your Doctor If You Have the Following Symptoms by kamenutehp [Rated T, ~6k words, WIP, 2020]

After risking his life to reassemble the Millennium Puzzle in the midst of a blazing inferno, it’s only natural that Yugi isn’t feeling very well. But over the course of a few days he seems to decline even further, and with the Battle City tournament just around the corner, he needs to figure out what’s going on if he wants to help Yami fulfill his destiny and save the world.

Day 1: "We've got you" by StarrySodaSkies03 [Rated T, ~1.5k, 2023]

Joey has a nightmare about the warehouse fire Yugi was lured into and almost died in. Yugi and Atem comfort him. (Note: This is Joey/Yugi/Atem, not strictly puzzleshipping!)

Episodic Puzzleshipping Companion Pieces by AuroraTenchi [Rated E, one-shot collection, see Chapter 1 "Forever", 2023]

I’d been avoiding him since I was discharged from the hospital.

lessons by elystia [Rated G, ~4k words, 2017]

Yugi shows the Spirit many things, after pulling him from his prison within the Puzzle. Anyone looking in from the outside probably wouldn’t believe it, based on appearances alone; what does Yugi Mutou have to teach a figure so imposing? They would all be wrong, of course, because only the two keepers of the Millennium Puzzle will ever know the extent of the lessons exchanged between them.

Heart of a Champion by DarkChao1663 [Rated G, ~4k words, 2014]

Thanks to his loyal friends, Yugi is safe from the warehouse after having his Puzzle stolen. With him in the hospital, Joey, Tea, and Yami reflect upon that day. Yugi also comes across thought-provoking ideas regarding friendship and everyone's talent to endure vigorous situations.

Hold My Heart by Faythren [Rated T, one-shot collection, see Chapter 5 "A Burning Warmth". 2019. Fem!Yugi]

Yugi grows a lot during her time with Yami. She helps him and he helps her and they just sort of fall through life together. Neither of them expected another kind of falling. They avoid acknowledging it, but that doesn't mean it isn't there, burning softly. That warm, unspoken thing, waiting for a chance to ignite.

I Will Never Be Free, Until You Come Back For Me by Onezumi Daisuke [Rated M, ~7k, 2013]

What happens when Yugi's puzzle gets broken…?

The Name of the God by DeathAfterDawn [Rated M, ~13k, 2013]

It all started because of that fire. Yugi feels depressed about almost losing the puzzle to an unknown enemy,as they both try to affront their fears, lost memories of Yami's past life become real when a single word is remembered.

phantom limb by killdoll [rated T, ~3k words, 2018]

In the hospital after the fire where Yuugi reassembled the Millennium Puzzle, Yuugi and his Other Self have a heart-to-heart.

Pieces by routavaurio [Rated T, one-shot collection, see chapter 7 "Wish", 2013]

Yugi Mutou had no idea what the puzzle he had worked so hard to finish truly held within. But when he finally figured it out, it was the start of a rather strange friendship. A series of one-shots focusing on the friendship between Yugi and his other self.

Sanctuary by Skye-Yue [Rated M, ~11k, WIP, 2012]

A puzzleshipping take on what happened after Yami Marik was defeated.

The Seldom Seen by clydeside [Rated T, ~44k (complete), 2020]

Yugi’s soul has gone missing after reassembling the Millennium Puzzle in the fire, leaving the Other Yugi to fill his place. As he tries to hide the truth from Yugi’s friends and family, he searches for his partner and the scattered pieces of his soul. But without Yugi at his side, he is losing control of the Puzzle’s power over the shadow realm… and the creature it contains.

Two AM by ErinNovelist [Rated G, <1000 words, 2011]

After the fire in the warehouse and Yugi nearly dying in the duel with Bandit Keith, the Pharaoh's worse fears get the best of him.

You'll Be In My Heart by Difinity [Rated G, ~2k words, 2002]

Yugi feels scared at the thought that he almost lost Yami in the fire after his duel with Bandit Keith in the old warehouse.

What's at Stake by Pleurez Mes Yeux [Rated G, ~1k words, 2014]

A little one-shot in the aftermath of the puzzle being smashed.

This last one is no longer available online, but absolutely deserves an honourable mention (there are copies floating around if you ask the right people *cough*me*cough*)

These Cherished Moments by spirithorse [2010, one-shot collection, see chapter 5 "Hellfire"]

Anything I missed? Feel free to comment, or reblog with your additions!

[tonicandjins]

all of the girls you loved before

CHARACTERS: lee donghyuck | haechan x fem reader

WORD COUNT: 3k

GENRE: best friends to lovers, all of the girls you loved before by taylor swift

WARNINGS: none, just fluff

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this has been in my drafts for way too long. hope you like it! please consider donating/tipping me

all of the girls you loved before is the fourth installment from 23 moments with donghyuck

lee naeun, June 2013 - July 2013

Lee Donghyuck’s first love turned out to be the quickest one.

It was a whirlwind romance, like how he would describe it whenever you’d ask him. At thirteen, you and Donghyuck were finally catching up to the rest of your homeroom’s growing pains—both literally and figuratively. Your legs were longer now, albeit Donghyuck’s becoming longer than almost everyone else’s, and you were prettier than most. Letting your bangs grow was a wise decision in the summer, after all. Long gone were your chubby cheeks and you’d learned how to put on some lip tint before jumping on the bus to school. The internet was a better teacher when it comes to styling your hair; you’d never expected hairstyles come with face shapes. Meanwhile, Donghyuck, though his cheeks are still as round as they were in primary school, has learned that the hugs and kisses he used to give everyone in homeroom erupted butterflies all over.

You’d wondered, of course, because among everyone in class, Donghyuck’s probably given you the most hugs and kisses, yet you haven’t quite figured out what they meant when they say he gives people butterflies.

In the same year, Donghyuck learned consent. His mother and father gave him a lecture on why kissing people randomly isn’t ideal at his age and why consent is important. Hence, he’d stopped giving everyone random kisses. The last one he’d kissed you on the cheek was a week before summer started—not that you were keeping a record of all the stolen kisses—right when you were about to jump off the bus you and him were on.

Lee Naeun gave the first consent at thirteen. On the last day of classes.

She was moving to the US the next school year. Donghyuck made you wait by the benches as she packed up her duffel back after soccer practice.

She was taller than everyone else. Sporty and ambitious, Lee Naeun was every boy’s kryptonite. Just like how Lee Donghyuck was every girl’s.

“Can I kiss you?” Donghyuck asked. Naeun blushed like crazy. She was taller than Donghyuck, so when she’d nodded, Donghyuck had to go on his tip toes to reach her lips.

You looked away when Donghyuck got his first real kiss, wondering if the sudden pain in your stomach is the same as the butterflies that people get when Donghyuck kisses them.

kim haerin, August 2016 - January 2018

Kim Haerin was Donghyuck’s girlfriend all throughout junior high school.

Contrary to popular belief, Haerin pursued Donghyuck from the first week of classes. You and Donghyuck had moved to a different school after middle school as the one in your hometown didn’t focus much on arts, leaning towards STEM more, which, if you and Donghyuck were being honest, is the last thing you’d want to do in high school. This also meant that you and Donghyuck were new in town—the new girl and the new guy—and that people your age were particularly curious about you and Donghyuck that school year.

Oddly enough, the first thing they needed to confirm was whether you and him were dating. As soon as it was a clear no, you and Donghyuck received flowers left and right. You wondered whether this is what high school should be like and expected Donghyuck to feel the same, but that school year was different. The people liked the extroverted, friends with everybody Donghyuck, so it was easier for him to adjust to the new place and the new people.

They’d started dating the week after school started. Haerin was a part of a big group, the ones who’d studied in the school’s sister middle school down the road, and she knew everyone. She was nice, or so you’ve heard because you didn’t have that many conversations with her to confirm if she truly is, and she’d say hi to you when you passed by her by the lockers.

Donghyuck tried to take you with him whenever they’d hang out, of course, but his attempts could only do much because you weren’t into the same things as they were. Eventually, you’d found your own group and adjusted to the new school all by yourself. It made you worry about Donghyuck less whenever you’d see him all happy and loud like the person he is. While Donghyuck’s name stuck with Haerin’s all throughout high school, yours remain independent. You’d decided you’d start dating when you’re ready.

The only times you’d see each other, apart from the classes you shared, were weekends with your families. You and him talk, of course. Donghyuck at home is different from Donghyuck at school. But it was different. The memories of you and him going to and from school gradually blurred between all the people you’d met in high school.

Kim Haerin broke up with Donghyuck as soon as you all came back from Christmas break on the last year of junior high. She’d started dating the new guy from the other class who transferred all the way from Germany. She’d given Donghyuck a kiss in the middle of the empty gymnasium and told him she’d loved him but the sparks were gone.

Donghyuck waited with you on the bus stop that same day. To this day, he waits with you.

im jieun, November 2019 – December 2019

Im Jieun was one of a kind, and if you could pick, she was your favorite from Donghyuck’s long list of lovers.

She was a couple of years older than you and Donghyuck. How Donghyuck even got the slimmest chance of dating her, you have no idea. She was a freshman in college. You and Donghyuck met her at one of your seniors’ birthday party; they’d hit it off easily. They had the same personality, almost like twins, and were pretty much the perfect couple in your newly found friend group.

That year was the most life changing for him because Donghyuck lost his virginity with her, and for quite some time, similar to when he’d dated Kim Haerin, he disappeared from your life, and not that you’d cared at much at that time because you were also dating your first boyfriend, Na Jaemin.

Jaemin was everything a first boyfriend should be. Gentle and sweet, determined and future-driven, truly the kind you’d want your parents to meet. He’s been in the same class as you since junior high, but he wasn’t the kind to approach women that easily. He was brought up loyal and kind, and it showed with the way he treated you. He asked you out on a dinner for the first date, at an amusement park for the second, and a picnic by the park for the third—which was the same day he officially asked you as his girlfriend.

When Donghyuck had learned, he was as surprised as a best friend would be.

“You never told me you liked Jaemin,” he commented when you’d told him the news. He was sitting on the swivel gaming chair you and him bought as pairs right beside your bed, where you were still half asleep because he barged in at seven on a Sunday morning. Apparently, he learned it because he saw Jaemin’s Instagram story from your date with him last night.

“Because I didn’t,” you groggily replied. You squinted, trying to make up your mind whether Donghyuck’s a dream or not. “I mean, I like him now. But it didn’t occur to me until he started asking me out for dates.”

Donghyuck leaned his head against your chair, kicking his feet off the floor to spin himself around. “You never even told me you went out on dates.”

You giggled. “Are you sulking now, Donghyuck?”

He sighed. “I tell you all about the girls I date. Even the ones I dream on dating. And this one time you finally decided to start dating, I wasn’t there for you.”

You sat up, watching as your child-like best friend spins himself dizzy on your chair. “Check your phone. Every time Jaemin and I went out, I texted you.”

He sighed again, pressing his foot on your bedroom’s floor, stopping so he could look at you eye to eye. “You didn’t tell me it was a date. You said you were having dinner with him, going to the amusement with him, and hanging out with him at the park.”

“We’re 19,” you pointed out. “What would 19-year olds do alone together?”

Donghyuck tilted his head sideways. “You and I are always alone together.”

“It’s different.” You throw a pillow at Donghyuck, kicking off the blanket from your body and moving to give him some space to lay on. “Come here, you big baby.”

Donghyuck’s mouth formed into a pout but occupied the space on your bed anyway.

“I’m a big girl,” you reminded him as he rested his head on your chest. “I don’t need you to be there for me on my first relationship.”

“Ouch,” he mumbled.

“I will always need you in my life, Donghyuck,” you clarified, knowing well how Donghyuck hates being not needed. “Just, not for this one. I might actually, truly like Jaemin. He’s a good guy.”

Donghyuck hummed. “But I’m still your best friend, right?”

You laughed. Because it’s the most ridiculous thing you’d ever heard. Donghyuck will always be your best friend. You were certain no relationship would break that. You and him were past being insecure about your friendship.

“Always.”

Donghyuck broke up with Jieun before Christmas break. The reason, you have no idea. But he’d told you it wasn’t as fun as it was in the beginning anymore. And Jieun was in university, after all, and you and him had SATs to pass and college essays to ace before the school year ends.

You and Jaemin took him out for clubbing that night, in hopes of cheering him up. It was a mystery to you why he’d suddenly decided to end it when the relationship seemed like it was smooth-sailing. They’d even talk about Donghyuck going to the same university as Jieun next year. You didn’t recall any fights within the relationship, so you wonder why.

Donghyuck leaves the club without you and Jaemin.

lee naeun (again), February 2020 – April 2020

Donghyuck learned from Lee Jeno that his first love returned from the US to take her bachelor’s degree in Seoul on Valentine’s day. He found her wandering around SNU’s main lobby on the first day of the spring semester. You and Donghyuck were visiting the university after receiving your acceptance letters, looking for an apartment to share. Jaemin was going to another university, so it wasn’t wise for you and him to move in together, hence Donghyuck offered to move in with you to save up some money for rent and other expenses.

Lee Naeun stood there, still taller than Donghyuck, still the first person who ever kissed Donghyuck’s lips, still the first person you’d ever compared yourself to, wondering what she had that you didn’t.

Like the day they kissed in 2013, you looked away when Donghyuck finally reached to where she stood, wondering why, all of a sudden, many years later, the butterflies were flying all over in your stomach once again.

ginny williams, September 2020 – October 2020

Of course, the first woman that Donghyuck officially dated in university is from the UK. Jeno said he only dated her to show everyone he’s immensely improved in English.

The break-up was proof Donghyuck never improved in English. He didn’t even understand why she was breaking up with him.

park yesol, September 2021 – February 2022

You introduced Donghyuck to Park Yesol because it’s what she wanted for her birthday.

She had invited you to her 21st birthday. You and her, if you were being honest, barely know each other. You only shared a class in Literature once, so at first, it was a mystery to you why she suddenly invited you. When she’d asked if you could ask Donghyuck to RSVP with you, you’d known that it’s all she wanted from you.

Eventually, they’d start dating. Donghyuck, at that time, had been single for almost a year. He thought he convinced you that college was finally catching up on him hence he’d put a stop to his “demanding” dating life. However, Donghyuck is your best friend, and you could see right through him. You knew he liked someone he wasn’t willing to share with you, and he was probably working up the courage to ask that person out, which, when you thought about it, was new. Donghyuck was cunning and ambitious and he knew what he wanted and how to get it. He was never one to shy away from the people he liked, so it was a little suspicious that it took him almost a year to start dating again. You did not figure out who he liked, and you knew he’d only started dating Yesol to get you to shut up about it.

You and him knew it wasn’t a serious relationship because Yesol was dating other guys while she’d dated him. Donghyuck told you it felt like the relationship was just for sex because of his oozing sex appeal; you’d thrown a cushion at him when he’d said that.

Meanwhile, you and Jaemin were almost at pointbreak.

You didn’t want to spend Valentine’s Day being uncertain of the relationship would go, so you broke up with him on the first day of February. Jaemin had gotten an internship in Japan a few months ago, and the company that hired him liked him so much that they wanted to keep him while he finishes his degree virtually. You wished you could say the same, that you loved him so much you also wanted to keep him.

It was finally catching up to you and him, the distance. So, it was better you’d break it off before you and him start failing subjects just to keep a relationship steady.

Two and a half years together wasn’t enough. You and Jaemin wanted to spend the rest of your college years, at least, together. But like he said the night you’d ended it: it wasn’t worth it if it was compromising your mental health and studies. You’d cried so much that night, and you wondered if Donghyuck pretended he couldn’t hear you sobbing from the other side of the apartment.

Come Valentine’s Day, Donghyuck asked you to dress up, throwing a paper bag at you.

The place he “luckily scored” a reservation from, on a busy, fully-booked Valentine’s night, was nice. It was romantic and you were flushed and giddy from all the wine and all of the Donghyuck.

“Why are you here with me and not with Yesol?” you’d asked after the waiter filled your glass.

Donghyuck smiled at you. “I broke up with her two weeks ago.” Around the same time you did with Jaemin. “I figured if my best friend would be miserable on Valentine’s day, I should be, too.”

You laughed. “Well, you don’t look too miserable for a newly single man.”

“I’m not,” he confessed. “I’m never miserable when I have you.”

You reached out one hand, palm facing Donghyuck. He intertwined his hand with yours. And it fit perfectly. Just like the dress he got you.

your name, June 2022 – present (or alternately, sometime in 2005 – forever.)

“Lee Naeun, Kim Haerin, Im Jieun, Lee Naeun again, then Park Yesol,” you enumerate. “You were a ladies’ man!”

Donghyuck whines, begging you to stop as you go through his things in his room, particularly the notes and letters from the girls he’d dated.

You and him are moving out. Graduation is just around the corner, and you and Donghyuck decided to move on to a better place. Your boyfriend got a job in one of the biggest companies in his industry, while you’re yet to find yours.

“Don’t forget Ginny Williams,” he teases, throwing you a love letter from the bunch.

“You did not date Ginny Williams, Donghyuck. It was an illusion,” you scoff. “Tell me one conversation you had with her. A real one.”

“I swear to God, she loved me,” he answers. “Stop playing around and help me in here.”

You stand from the carpeted floor and walk towards Donghyuck as he sorts out the things from his study desk. Donghyuck starts with the tower of books and folders, organizing them alphabetically as he carefully places them on the box labeled as books. The other box is labeled as essentials; hence you start throwing his headphones and speakers and its chargers in. While doing so, you get a hold of a small box that contains what you thought were miscellaneous items mixed in with trash, until you realize what’s inside.

There are a few polaroid pictures of you and him from high school, including a picture of you and him on your high school’s graduation day, some receipts from, now you recognize, the places you’d gone to. There’s a receipt from when you and him took the subway to visit a museum at the other side of the country back in 2018, another from Valentines day 2022, when you and him celebrated being newly single, the old ticket from your senior prom when he’d gone with you, and so many more that you could recognize just from its dates.

“Donghyuck,” you whisper as you look at the box of memories. Donghyuck turns, eyes wide when he recognizes the box you’re holding. “Where… where should I put these?”

Donghyuck loved many girls in his life. You can recall their names in the order of when he’d dated them. You had your favorites and the ones you didn’t like that much. Some of your friends wonder if you’ve ever been insecure knowing you weren’t the first kiss or the first person he had sex with and if you were okay with knowing all of that. You weren’t the first and you wish you’d be the last. The only thing you’re certain of, is that he had always loved you, and that alone erases all the other thoughts.

If you could say so, you’re thankful for all of the girls he loved before because they made him the one you’d fallen for. Every dead-end street led him straight to you.

He smiles. “Essentials.”