#wait I’m back in my silly comic era

[cynderrfall]

silly au where genya is also a full time demon

[andhumanslovedstories]

I am not closely following the election results tonight, but I am occasionally seeing flashes of them out of the corner of my eye. The most obvious sign that things aren’t going well right now is the complete lack of celebrating on my dash. I know what tumblr looks like when it’s happy. Maybe I’ll go to bed tonight and see something different in the morning. I hope to god that is the case. But I’m thinking about the way I’m thinking right now, and I want to get some stuff down before the future kicks in.

In 2016 I was in a period of my life I affectionately refer to as as my fuckup era. I wasn’t even fucking up really. More just chilling out and falling short of the vague expectations I’d had about what I was supposed to be doing after I graduated college. While my friends from college rented apartments in the city and got jobs that didn’t supply you with a uniform shirt, I lived at home and worked as a barista at a fancy movie theater. That’s a real job you can do for almost five years. I didn’t have a clue what the back half of my twenties should look like. The only long term plan I had in my life was moving out west with my best friend, and my plan for finding a job once I was out there was basically to cross my fingers and hope.

Those days weren’t bad on the whole, but it felt like I was not actually living a life so much as I was goofing off in the waiting room. Sometimes that felt embarrassing, sometimes it felt fun, and sometimes it felt like I was completely pointless to the world.

On 2016’s Election Day, I went to bed early. After watching the votes come in, I needed the night to be over. I woke in a world that felt different than it had been the night before—not just in the actuality of who would be president but down to its foundations. I realized for the first time how much hope I’d had in human nature because now I didn’t feel it anymore. It’s almost silly when I think about it—so many horrible things had already happened that year, people had done horrible things as long as there have been people, and I didn’t think I was naive to that—but something clicked into place that morning.

It felt the same way my world had changed a year earlier, in 2015 during my last semester of college. My college victory lap felt like a prolonged downward spiral. Very early in the morning on a Monday, after pulling an all-nighter and overwhelmed by self-loathing that I could not just motivate myself to work on a paper that had been my only thought all weekend, I self-harmed for the first time in a way that was impossible to pretend it was anything else. Earlier that weekend, I’d tried staving off the urges drawing or writing on my arm, something that did (and does) usually work. I’d written this quote in silver sharpie on my forearm: “Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.”

I picked that quote from the Ms. Marvel comics and liked the words so much, I thought that I wouldn’t be willing to purposefully mess it up by hurting myself there. Didn’t work. They just made me feel more ashamed of myself as I did it.

That was the worst I had ever felt. Then, on the Friday of that week, a friend of mine was senselessly, brutally murdered.

It doesn’t feel now like there was ever a time before her death. My memoir class is now where I wrote about her. My favorite professor is now the one who held me as I cried. My final thesis, the culmination of my history degree, never got finished and certainly never got polished. I turned it what I had and got an A minus. Sometimes I think of rereading that paper to see if that’s the grade it actually deserved. We hadn’t been the closest friends, but my name was still on the email admin sent to professors, listing students who might be emotionally affected by this tragic event. Grace’s murder hangs over every memory I have with her and everything she ever touched. It feels like its own type of obliteration to leave her reduced to her death.

Grace wanted to be a lawyer because she believed in justice and also liked arguing. She could be rude when she wasn’t interested in what you were saying. When you caught her attention, you felt like the most fascinating person in the room. She was so proud of being Jewish. I watched her become proud of being gay. She was so universally friendly that it took me a year to realize that she actually liked specifically me. She had a somewhat silly laugh and an astonishingly luminous smile.

I thought less of the world and the people in it because of how she died. Trump’s election in 2016 felt like that.

After he won, I left stasis. From November through December, I thought harder about my future than I ever had before. Who did I want to be? What did I most value? What did I think was worth protecting? What work wouldn’t kill me to do? At one point, in presumably a fit of madness, I thought, “what if I got into politics.” Epiphany eventually hit me. By the time of Trump’s inauguration, I was already enrolled at community college, getting my pre-reqs for nursing school.

Now it’s election night again, eight years later. I live on the west coast with my best friend, in a house that we bought together. I work as a nurse in a hospital in a city where there are homeless encampments off every highway and someone begging for change on every corner. Meanwhile, there’s Palestine. Meanwhile there’s Sudan. Meanwhile refugees drown in the sea and border patrol shoots jugs of water. Even hurricanes have human cruelty now.

I don’t think people are inherently good or the universe inherently kind. But I am very good at tricking myself into thinking it for a little while, and when I do, I can remember the a specific feeling from Friday of my senior year, from that morning in November— how fucking hard the disappointment hit me because I had expected people to be better than this. It makes me want to be better than that.

I believe, and hope that I always will, that we can make a better world. I don’t know what it looks like, but I think I will see it in my lifetime. Those of us who can believe such things owe a bit of that naïveté to the world—not to excuse atrocities or think them impossible but to believe that we can stop them at all. You have to have a couple people sprinkled around who are genuinely shocked when people do bad things. It’s not that the pessimists are wrong, but you need the occasional counterbalance. I want to be a reasonable cynic’s pleasant surprise.

Every shift, I interact with people at their lowest and worst. I see the direct pipeline from pain to anger to violence, and how fragile that pipeline can be. So many situations can be changed by things as small as a warm blanket or a kind word. Violence can be quite easy to avert. Crises can be quite simply to resolve. Even when I know that whatever I do that shift will not change the circumstances of a person’s life, I think that what I do that shift still matters.

I’m lying in bed, writing this post instead of looking at the news. I wonder how tonight will change me. Been thinking about what I’ll do if Trump wins. Been thinking about how whatever I think I need to do under Trump will still need to be done if Harris clutches out a victory. I guess this is a pessimist’s optimism: to a degree the election doesn’t matter. Good is not a thing you are. It is a thing you do. Our better world will always take a lot of work.

But please god please, why can’t it be just a little easier to do it?

[sharpace]

Now I HAVE to know more about Jayvik's Divorce and then Reunion.

What are their whole feelings on the situation? Do they miss eachother often but ignore those feelings? Are there times where they have a fluttering of love for the other and then squash it out?

How do they come back together into having a relationship again?

SO SO many good questions... I actually can't wait for the Divorce Era + Reconcile comics when they come out (speaking of which, are they going to be Ko-Fi exclusive, or do you plan on eventually releasing them out on tumblr or some other platform?)

Love your silly little AU 🥺 it hurts to think my boys will separate at some point but at least it will be silly </3 the amount of petty shenanigans they must get up to in the Divorce Era.. Amazing

So I’ll go more in depth in the illustrated timeline (it’s 13 handwritten pages 😬) but i can expand on some info I’ve shared in other asks. Jayce is still very much in love and trying to be so cool about the divorce and Viktor is still very bitter and wants to close the door behind him. However, Jayce is also incredibly frustrated with the path Viktor chose and Viktor misses having someone truly understand him inside and out.

Yes, they do love each other but they are also pulling at different directions and were at a crossroad where there was no path together.

Ummm, tbh, I wrote it down but keep changing it up so I will leave that up to you until I lock it in with the last bit in the illustrated timeline.

For platforms, I’m deciding! The main function is to be the bonus content for my subscribers so I want to respect that and need to think it over how I want to put it together. Determining the timeline for release will also help.

Thank you!!! It means a lot!! Sometimes it can be isolating writing things and then setting them up on the queue and just… hoping y’all like it because I can’t check messages until a few hours (or days) later. So thank you!! And yeah as sad as the Divorce Era, they are so petty and stubborn and DO have to share custody with Rio.

[scottwbeattie]

Review: Iron Man Epic Collection 11: Duel of Iron

A bit sillier than I remember, but great nevertheless

My previous reviews have all been for Epics where most (if not all) of the issues are new to me, however, I'd already read all of the single issues in Duel of Iron prior to owning the Epic. So I think my perspective has altered slightly based on reading these for the second time.

I had forgotten (or had been so caught up in the good parts) how silly a lot of the villains are in Iron Man 11. In general, and, I say this as a massive Iron Man fan, Iron Man's rogues' gallery isn't great considering he's a founding Avenger and has been around since 1963. Even graded on a curve, many of these antagonists in these issues fall short. Foes like the Brothers Grimm and Vibro are basically goofy, one-off Silver Age villains, except that these comics are from the 80's not the 60's. There's also the cartoon-ish Zodiac crime organization, which tries to kill Iron Man in ways that feel like they'd be more at home in Looney Tunes (putting TNT in the van engine! Blowing up a bridge!) than the serious title that this was intended to be.

That said, the issues in this collection work, because the true conflict is actually James Rhodes and Tony Stark battling their own inner demons. Carrying on from the previous collection, James Rhodes is still serving as Iron Man, however, the armor seems to be giving him increasingly severe headaches which, in turn, make him more erratic. Meanwhile, Tony Stark, having lost literally everything in his battle with Obadiah Stane, is living on the streets as a homeless alcoholic. Tony's alcoholism reaches a turning point in the harrowing #182 (one of my favorite Iron Man issues), and he eventually attains sobriety. Yet when he joins Rhodey, Clytemnestra and Morley Erwin's fledgling tech startup company, it triggers Rhodey's sense of jealousy and his behavior becomes even more unpredictable and violent. Eventually, Tony is forced to don an older version of armor in order to stop his friend in the excellent #192 (another favorite of mine).

I love the way that O'Neil writes Tony and Rhodey. It's quite clever how the Iron Man armor represents something that gives them purpose and maybe even happiness, but both also believe that it's the source of their inner demons. The reader saw in this volume just how far he had fallen, and it makes sense that, since he thinks the armor exacerbated his personal problems, he would also be terrified to put it back on. When he finally does (albeit briefly) 10 issues later, the moment is that much more powerful. I’m less in love with the way that O’Neil resolved Rhodey’s headaches, but I did like that he sought out Henry Pym and Shaman of Alpha Flight to help him. I love when characters appear in other titles without it becoming a crossover. Those types of small interactions are what the Marvel Universe does best.

I knew penciler Luke McDonnell from the great Suicide Squad comics of the late 80's long before I read any of these issues. He's a very solid, no-frills storyteller. Given his clear, straightforward layouts and reliability (he even draws the Annuals in addition to the regular issues), I can see him being a favorite of Jim Shooter-era Marvel.

Duel of Iron is a great read, although I'm not sure how much you'd get from it if you hadn't read the previous volume (Iron Man: The Enemy Within). If they're read together, it makes one of the best character deconstructions ever done in comics, especially since O'Neil cleans up his own mess and puts a mentally stronger Tony back in the suit by the end of his run. We're still waiting for the conclusion of O'Neil's run with Iron Man 12, but would it also be too much for to ask for a reprint of Iron Man 10?

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1975

The X-Men, those super dramatic mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 94 - 96) - by Chris Claremont, Len Wein and Dave Cockrum

You think I won’t automatically be able to include a powerful Storm-moment in every instalment? Watch me. Claremont is a much bigger Storm-fan than I am. (X-Men 96)

So, originally, the plan for the All-New X-Men would’ve been very different: the series would have remained Giant-Sized and it would’ve come out four times per year. This format would have allowed enough room to split focus between thirteen team-members. However, when the Krakoa-issue turned out to be crazily uncannily astonishingly popular, the series became a bi-monthly series. This necessitated some changes, especially in the roster.

Also, there’s this new writer? Chris Claremont? idk man, he seems a little dramatic

The first thing this new kid on the block does, is clean house: he jettisons almost all of the original X-Men, except for Cyclops. In a tear-filled goodbye, we finally get our first on-panel kiss between Jean and Scott. Fucking finally, only took you twelve years, but also: aw.

C’mon Scott, you can try long distance! Consider the benefits, like not having to look at your girlfriend dressing like a Hart-of-Dixie villain. (And don’t think you’re off the hook, Lorna. You look like a Christmas ornament) (X-Men 94)

Sunfire, surprising no-one, also leaves. (For real this time.) I’ve always wondered what the original plan for him would have been, but considering there are two other grumpy and angry rebels on the team (Thunderbird and Wolverine), I understand why Shiro would be a little redundant. It is a shame that it’s a POC that gets discarded, especially considering what happens later.

No time for absent souls, let’s get into the plot! Thunderbird desperately wants to prove himself, while Scott wants him to show some restraint. They butt heads and T-bird gets hurt during training. Despite his injury, he insisting he joins the team on their next mission! Because it’s the Avenging Ex-X-Man Beast who calls for aid.

I love that Beast brushes aside this almost entirely new team of X-Men just as easily as my aunt brushed aside the new boyfriend I brought home for Christmas. (X-Men 94)

As an aside, I’m assuming y’all know what happened to the Beast: in the Avengers, he experimented on himself and turned himself furry and blue. One of his most iconic moments! (And it didn’t even happen in an X-Men comic.)

Count Nefaria has once again allied himself with a team of silly super-villains and invaded the NORAD (North-American Air Command) in order to ransom the entire world with nuclear weapons. When the X-Men approach, Count Nefaria shoots them from the sky and we get one of the hallmarks of Claremont’s writing: the sometimes unnecessarily DRAMATIC CLIFFHANGER! Because the issue ends as the X-Men plummet to their FOR SURE INEVITABLE deaths…

Except, you know, Colossus doesn’t really do falling damage and Storm and Banshee can fly.

Look, realistically, all of them would’ve hit the ground somewhere around Kurt’s second sentence. (X-Men 95)

When everyone is safely down, Nightcrawler teleports inside the base and lets the rest of the X-Men in. Colossus gets to shine by protecting the rest of them from bullets, while Storm washes the hypnotized soldiers away with a quick flood. They fight the Ani-Men but the two X-Men who haven’t had the time to shine… are promptly knocked out.

“Gort wanted to take out that mutant, so Gort just threw the first thing Gort could find.”

“Which was?”

“Another mutant.” (X-Men 95)

Banshee and Thunderbird perform pretty poorly, while the other X-Men try and stop the Doomsday Clock that Nefaria started.

It’s a little confusing how the clock is stopped - somehow, all the fighting and ruckus in the base stopped the clock from going to zero, preventing the launching of the nukes? Seems like a design flaw, US government! Anyway, the Doomsday Clock is not the focus of this story, not really: this is a story about John Proudstar and his desperate need to prove himself. In order to stop Count Nefaria from escaping, the heretofore useless John jumps on his plane and begins tearing at it.

It’s a foolish plan. The plane ascends and begins to smoke while John keeps pulling off bits and pieces. Banshee gives chase, screaming at Thunderbird to get the fuck off that thing (laddie). But…

Just like John, Charles doesn’t recognize a hopeless situation when he’s right in the middle of it and is just as unwilling to let go. (X-Men 95)

Now, John Proudstar is not entirely unproblematic as a character. With Storm, they get things mostly right, especially considering what decade this was and how white Marvel was. Thunderbird, on the other hand, veers dangerously close to becoming a nasty indigenous stereotype, especially considering his outfit and attitude. Claremont will redeem himself in the future by writing much better characters that are Cheyenne and Apache - Forge, Mirage, Warpath - but as it stands now? John is barely a flat character and it’s a shame that, after writing out Sunfire, the first character to die is also a POC.

And yet, despite the fact that this storyline is Claremont’s first X-Men attempt, and despite the fact that it’s uneven, over-dramatic and has a silly villain, it still takes balls to kill a member of a barely established team. (Especially considering the time and age.) And, while the plotting is a bit thin, the moment where Xavier feels Thunderbird die is pretty effective.

The next story is a lot more typically Claremont, and a lot better. Back in Westchester, Emo!Scott, in all his failure-as-a-leader, someone-died-on-my-watch anguish, damages a cairn when he lets loose. Randomly, this is a capstone to some demonic dimension and Scotty accidentally unleashes a demon.

Can´t you imagine this scene being a lot funnier if the yellow panels are just Claremont shouting at Cyclops? Can’t you?! Can’t you?! (X-Men 96)

Meanwhile, Stephen Lang, an anti-mutant army-man, wants to kick off Project Armageddon, which builds on themes established by the Trasks. Michael Rossi, a colonel who gets imported from the Ms. Marvel-lines Claremont was working on before, wants to hear none of this, so Stephen has a little accident arranged.

Back in the mansion, a surprise new addition to the cast arrives!

Maybe housekeeper was one of the identities Moira X had tried out in a previous life, before quickly realizing that being a scientist would better suit her purposes. (X-Men 96)

Her welcome is rudely interrupted by the arrival of the demon!

More like Unholy Hannah, amirite? (X-Men 96)

Both Wolverine and Storm get their chance to shine, before Storm manages to restore the cairn and lock out the demon invasion. And this is where Claremont actually shines. He’s great at building concurrently running storylines, teasing future plots instead of making it a mishmash of X-Men being attacked by random villains. Furthermore, he actually uses action scenes to further the plot or give depth to his characters. Deftly, he introduces Wolverine’s berserker side and teases at Storm’s claustrophobia. Check it out:

Hey, James, I think your barbarian just unlocked the berserker rage feat. (X-Men 96)

Sure, Claremont sometimes makes the X-Men little more than a superhero soap opera, but he does it so well. We’re truly in a new era now. I can’t wait.

For Whom the Death Tolls: Thunderbird. One of the few X-Men for whom death is actually a sort of permanent state. Has he been spotted on Krakoa yet?

What could have been: Imagine X-Men if Sunfire or Thunderbird had taken the place of ‘angry loner’ on the team, instead of Wolverine. Also, I wonder why Claremont never bothered to connect the demons under the cairn to Limbo - the N’Garai are an entirely separate dimension. Maybe Westchester is just a hotbed of demonic activity.

What to read: None of it is truly pivotal, but X-Men 94 and 95 are hallmarks for the death of Thunderbird. X-Men 96 should be on your reading list if you’re a fan of Wolverine and Storm.

[breakingbadfics]

Kamen Rider: Power Rangers older slightly more mature cousin

So okay, I'm gonna preface this with a little pre-amble.

Kamen Rider was previously inaccessible in america, making it so that the only means to watch it was through streaming sites, but only recently did the franchise begin licencing distribution to america through Shout Factory dvd sales and the TokuShoutsu channel on Pluto TV. So while if you know where to look you can very easily find any entry in the franchise through alternative methods, I would be remiss to say that if you have any chance to support the franchise legally to please do so. And with that out of the way...

Kamen Rider!

In May 1938 Action Comics number 1 unveils to the world SUPERMAN. An alien from another world sent to defend Metropolis Fighting for Truth, Justice, and The American Way.

Nearly a year later in March of 1939 Detective Comics number 27 brings us, Batman. who fights corruption, and crime on the dirty streets of Gotham City so that no one ever have to experience the pains he once did.

50 years ago on april 3rd of 1971 a new show was created. It was not the first in it's genre but it would go on to become one of the monoliths with in it.

The Original Kamen Rider is the story of how Takeshi Hongo was abducted by the evil organization SHOCKER forcefully made into a cyborg, but before he can be brainwashed to do their bidding he escapes and chooses to use the abilities given to him by shocker to fight them and prevent them from taking over the world.

The original Showa era of Kamen Rider was all connected and would run through 9 series additions to the franchise along side 3 original films.

meanwhile, in the modern day of the Heisei and Reiwa era's there are now a total of 20 and 2 series for the two respective eras. All unconnected, but occasionally move crossovers occur

In the spirit of the original each series follows a protagonist who acquire great power from the same source as his respective antagonists, he proceeds to use these these powers for justice and righteousness.

it is kinda like power rangers and in certain series they actually directly cross over once or twice. however Kamen Rider sort of bends in the direction of the 13 and up set, where power rangers and Super sentai are kinda more geared to the 10 to 12 set (though, real talk, age demographics are kinda bullshit, just watch whatever you want friend) People have died. VIolently during the storytelling in Kamen Rider.

The main characters are often goofy, usually relatable and a touch childlike in demeanor. The bad guy is TERRIFYING. typically the Kamen Rider has a couple companions, then eventually a second Rider to fight along side them. along the way they're either collecting or happen across things that will inevitably be sold to the demographic as toys.

It's formulaic, but formulaic isn't bad so long as there's passion in the execution.

Anyway, it's time for the reccomendations part of the essay.

Kamen Rider Fourze For those of you most familiar with the original mighty morphin power rangers and want something bent in that direction. This is your point of entry. Gentaro Kisaragi wants to make friends with the entire world, and no one is going to stop him. Every one of the 48 episodes are split into a series of two parter's making the show feel much shorter than it is, it rarely gets especially serious, and has so much going for it that I feel like going to deep into it's very basic plot gives too much of it away.

Kamen Rider Ex-Aid: So the world is being plagued by a deadly viru-WAIT NO COME BACK I PROMISE IT'S NOTHING LIKE....real world....Ex-Aid was release in 2017...okay, sit down? okay I'll keep going. So Emu Hojo is a doctor who gets wrapped up in trying to figure out how to cure The Bugster virus, a video games disease that infects people and then eventually becomes a monster that can kill you. Emu teams up with the people of the Computer Rescue team at his hospital and discovers the secrets of how the virus came to be and then some. This is one of the series that look far more Silly on the cover but is like...way more deep than expected.

Kamen Rider Gaim: Did you like Madoka Magicka? Well Gen Urobuchi was involved in the writing for Kamen Rider Gaim, one of the writers of the Dagonronpa series was involved too. So you probably know what to expect from this. Everything is a metaphor until it stops being a metaphor

Kamen Rider Build: TO THIS I OWE BIAS. Build was my point of entry and for that this entry in the reccomends may be longer.

The story begins 10 years ago. The first expedition to mars has successful returned a mysterious stone box named Pandora's box (no. it isn't subtle at all.) Upon touching this box A GIANT STONE WALL splits japan in three with members of Japans government shcisming off and making their own three states and naturally they're in a state of coldwar (because this is not a subtle show). In the modern day Ryuga Banjo has been framed for murder, he meets our protagonist Sento Kiryu, They live in a coffee shop and are very gay together. They fight the evil organization Faust (not subtle) and it just keep going from their.

You should really watch Kamen Rider

[dribbonart]

Steven Universe Rewatch: Kindergarten Kid

This is a weird episode. Obviously it’s a Roadrunner homage, but it also has an important moral about people with disabilities. It feels... disjointed.

If you’re concerned about Peridot’s changing size, I think this is the episode with the most extreme examples. There are times she’s not even three heads tall. I don’t think it’s a problem.

This episode picks up cleaning the mess of the previous season. All of Jasper’s captured gems have to be double-captured in bubbles. They say that it’s better for the gems to be bubbled than living free, I’m not entirely convinced by that.

I like this gem’s design. the triple tongue is cool. Their “real form” gets a very simple sketch in End of an Era. It would be too much to hope that they get a full narrative arc. They don’t even get a gem type.

Peridot stepping out from under the injector to get hit by falling rocks is pretty good; the injector falling on her for no reason is very good. I’m not a fan of this kind of comedy, but this is done so well it still works.

This is a good idea. I like that this plan fails because Peridot shows off the cannon but forgets to reload it.

Of course, in this kind of cartoon, once a plan fails you’re not allowed to try it again. This kind of cannon could have been useful in future episodes.

It’s been a long time since I first saw this episode, so I don’t remember when I realized this is an homage, but you can’t miss it at this point.

Steven’s objection is totally legitimate for this, and every other scheme like this. Peridot’s tone of “I’m way past my breaking point!” is perfect.

I like the delicate touch the gem uses to push the boulder.

This is just pure silliness.

Just references all over this episode.

Here comes the moral.

I like this moral. People that would otherwise seem “normal” enough to get along can be pushed by extremity into acting out in ways that seem monstrous. We aren’t seeing their side of the story, so they seem insane, or dangerous, or inhuman. I don’t think a kid watching this episode would really “get” the moral, but kids are smarter than we think, maybe they would.

Trying to pry a gem out of someone’s living body still seems gross. It’s so visceral, like tearing a bone out of someone by main force.

It’s not clear if the CG’s were hiding and observing everything they did, or if they just waited in this canyon for them to show up. Either way is pretty funny.

The first (and I think last) time Peridot bubbles. 

I remember the first time I saw this. It still makes me emotional. There’s something profound about the idea of “home”, and finding a new home on Earth. She’s making a life with Lapis, in a way that wasn’t possible in gem society. (They could use bubbling as a superfast form of travel, if you had gems with distant homes.)

This is the second appearance of “Pretty Hairstylist,” after its appearance in “Crack the Whip.” This version of the book is very similar to the first appearance, but just different enough that it’s possibly a different volume of the series. The back is identical, but that can happen with series. With conservation of detail in cartoons, either is possible. If Lapis moved her hand we could see the volume number. Its thickness makes me think it’s a YA novel, not a comic.

This is a weird episode to start a season with, but seasons in this show are nonsense anyway.

[stvlti]

2020 Creator Wrap

I was tagged by @irolltwenties to do the 2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works tag! Thank you, lovely (*˘ ε ˘*)

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Before I begin, let me just tag some friends:

@reaperlight @3dnygma @drowthelynes @transdankovsky @fantomn @lawliyeeeet @dressed-to-keehl @setfa @0akdown @reidsnor @clubolive @mermaides

No pressure, but it would be fun if you guys share some of your works this year ( ˘︶˘ ) let’s see those fics and edits and artworks!! Get the clicks and views y’all deserve 💕 💕

And now, onwards to my 2020 Favorite Works List!

I didn’t write nearly as much as some of you guys did. And though I did exceed my goal of putting out 1 fic per month, I don’t have 5 solid ones I’m proud of. So I’ll just list 4 fics here:

01 // Growing Pains

I’ve always been very nervous about reccing this one, because it broaches a topic that I don’t really have a right to claim? I’m not transgender myself, but I simply adore the trans Dick Grayson headcanon so much it singlehandedly brought me back to the DC fandom and restarted my fanfic-writing habit for 2020 😂😂 plus the writing quality isn’t half bad, and I still really like the idea/metaphor this little story started with and grew from. 

Fave moment (besides the obvious):

"Ka-Pow!!" The boy ventriloquised. Lego Robin sailed through the air in his fingers. One stubby, outstretched leg made contact with a Lego henchman, knocking all the surrounding baddies over like bowling pins. "Sorry Mr. Bad Guys, guess it's way past your bedtime too!"

"Good job, Robin." The boy lowered his prepubescent voice and tried to affect Batman's gravelly timbre as much as possible. In his other hand, he walked Lego Batman across the floor of the crime scene. "How about we round them up and leave it for the Commish? It's getting quite late."

"Oh oh! Can I have cookies on the ride back?"

The boy swivelled Lego Batman's grinning face around. "I don't see why not."

Another night out in Lego Gotham City, another day saved by the Dynamic Duo. This called for a celebration indeed. The boy set the pair of heroes down by the Lego Batmobile and reached over to his own plate of Alfred's after-school chocolate chip cookies. He took his sweet time with the last piece, savouring each bite, sighing at the way it melted on his tongue.

02 // Transference 

This is my best-performing fic in terms of the kudos to hits ratio, so I feel validated in being proud of this one :’) It’s a pretty good marker of the distances I’ve covered since getting serious about reading the comic source material end of 2019, as you can see from the much broader and varied cast of characters I focused on for this story. It also definitely cemented - to me, at least - the fact that I can write action scenes. When I went into “Second Chances” (a fem Jay fic) earlier this year, I was so nervous about writing the action sequence there, because I’ve never written a serious action scene up until that point! To me, this fic definitely showcases the growth I’ve experienced as a writer this year ^_^

Fave moment: (CONTAINS SPOILERS, PLEASE READ THE FIC FIRST IF YOU HAVEN’T!)

When the trio return, Ivy takes her place at the meeting table with a severe expression on her face. She chooses her words carefully, when she speaks. "The odds aren't pretty. We just accepted 100 refugees over the weekend, and the Green is still repairing itself after last week's attack."

Rose exchanges a glance with Jason. He gives her hand a reassuring squeeze, though he's not looking any better than she feels.

"But, each and everyone of us stayed behind to defend the Garden, because we all believed in giving a sanctuary for the civilian survivors out there.

"So bring them here. I'll take them in."

No sooner has Ivy finished the sentence, than Zatanna and Constantine have fired up their teleportation portal, and Harley's cheerful "Good luck!" is lost to the mad dash off to the rescue mission. The rest of the Shadowpact scramble after Rose as she launches herself through the portal—

—and slams into Arsenal, pushing him out of the way seconds before a meteoric explosion of green fire incinerates the very spot he'd been standing in.

03 // Paying It Forward

This one is important to me if only for the reason that it’s the first time I’ve written character dialogues that flowed. And I didn’t even need to plan them out meticulously beforehand! Do you know how rare that is for me as an ESL writer? Dialogues have been the bane of my existence since I started writing as a wee teen. Luckily, the Titans TV show has some solid character dynamics for me to fall back on. And from there I started reading NTT era Dick & Donna, and I just fell in love with their friendship. And now, I can turn to this fic as proof I still got it whenever I doubt my abilities as a writer c:

Fave moment:

Dick glanced at her, eyebrows raised. "She ran out on you?"

"No, no, we never really... I don't think it counts as running away if it never led to anything more."

"But you wanted it to be more." Dick paused, taking in Donna's silence, which would've fooled anyone else but him. "You still want it."

"I-- yeah." Donna sighed and held her hands up as if to say you caught me. "I'm... Sorry? For stealing your girl?"

Dick laughed, bemused. "She was never mine. She knew what she wanted, what she needed - and I wasn't in the right place to give her that."

"And you? You think I'm what she needs?"

"Better you than me. You're Donna Troy. Older, smarter, prettier..."

Donna gave him a deadpan stare.

"... And you know who you want to be. She likes that in a partner. I'm still figuring that one out for myself." Dick stretched his arms up and then leaned back into his seat, lacing his fingers behind his head as he stared up into the ceiling.

04 // When I'm down on my knees, you're how I pray

I’m including this one just to showcase I got the range, babey. And honestly, the fact that I was able to write this fic and actually receive positive reviews for it was a surprise to me too!! This was the first time I ever attempted to write a real darkfic with dead dove subject matters, and I managed to nail the emotional manipulation, somehow ;__; It was a real learning experience too, learnt so much about Catholicism just to write about Dick’s guilt issues in an AU setting nobody asked for 🤡

Fave moment: (dead dove warnings apply)

"Not at all, Richard," Roman said. The boy would come to him, eventually. "Now, it's getting late. If that's all, I'll have Jason fetch your room keys. Seven Hail Mary's before bed, and think about everything we've just discussed. Tomorrow we'll do a proper debriefing."

"I... Okay." For a moment, Dick sounded like he had more to say. Instead, Roman heard a muffled sniffle, one that Dick likely tried to disguise with a hand over his mouth. Silly boy.

"Thank you again, Father," Dick said, after a beat.

"All in a day's work, my child." Roman unlatched the door and stepped out of the booth. He nodded at Dick as the younger man ambled out of the booth after him. "Goodnight now, Richard."

As he set off for the living quarters, Dick called out. "Wait!"

Roman turned around, inclining his head.

"Will you stay?" The candlelight chased shadows away from Dick's face, and for one glorious moment, Roman could see the depth of the desperation shining in Dick's blue eyes.

"Guide me through my prayers. Please."

Roman smiled.

-

Oh did you think I was done? 😂 It did say Favourite Works and not just Favourite Fics, so I gotta include this one on the list too:

05 // 2020 Jason Todd Birthday edit

I said Robin Jason deserves better and I meant it! 👏👏 This edit took me 12 hours and 67 layers ‘cause I made a mistake on like my 8th hour into the editing process o__o but it ended up being my most popular serious graphic edit, so it was worth it. I guess! 

I mean the likes to reblog ratio is still fucked but hey, I broke 1k, which is more than I can say for any of my other edits

[thatoldijivibe]

YashaHime Episode 5 Iji Ramble

What I thought was just going to be a “Queen Kags got shoved into Kikyou’s shadow :|” two para turned into a bit of a ramble so.. incoherent rambling under cut. 

Will Kagome ever not have her worth be directly tied into the fact she’s a reincarnation of a GREAT PRIESTESS KIKYO? How about, I don’t know, Moroha was born from the great priestess who traveled through time, tamed the wild InuYasha, destroyed the Shikon no Tama and saved the world versus being likely corrupted by it like ANOTHER PRIESTESS WE KNOW? Am I the only one who noticed this? 

Why are our kids being stepped over for Taisho and Kikyou as far as recognition? Wat? WAT? 

And the rouge of Moroha’s. I don’t remember that being a thing in the Manga, but I thought InuYasha gave that rouge to Kikyou in the Anime series as a show of affection to her, saying it was one of the last remnants of what he had of his mother, Izayoi. And I remember Naraku showing that he had the rouge and crushing it in his hand as InuYasha to drive home his betrayal to her. 

I’m HOPING if it was restored that it was by Kaede and she gave it to Moroha after InuYasha and Kagome poofed for reasons still strangely unexplained because she knew it had been InuYasha’s, which is still a little odd that she’d give a gift he gave her mother’s essential rival as a show of devotion, but it’d be even more strange, imho, for InuYasha to have either given it to Kagome or Moroha after he’d given it to Kikyou. 

“Here you go, Kagome, Love of my life, bringer of my peace, completion of my world - Here is rouge that is the last remaining remnant of my human mother that I cherished so much I was nearly drowned over if you hadn’t stopped me from falling into the trap of her image.”  “It looks used?”  “Yeah, that’s probably from when I gave this to Kikyou, love of my life, bringer of my peace, completion of my world who I nearly tortured you with the thoughts that I would abandon you for her at the end of our journey and let her drag me to hell because of residual feelings for her and personal guilt. Just ignore those :)”

And, again, I’m probably thinking too much here but I’m so confused as to why Kags who fought so hard to be known in her own right and to be considered powerful outside of Kikyou’s shadow is nowhere being given her dues. Moroha’s blood having more taste of Taisho’s and the rouge being able to make her taste moreso like it? When her dad’s, his son didn’t taste as good or as alike to him? Is Kagome’s blood doing that? How does that even work? I know it’s magic and demons and all fantasy but this basic stuff MAKES NO SENSE!? HOW DOES BLOOD TASTE SKIP GENERATIONS? TELL ME SUNRISE, EXPLAIN YOURSELF!

Setsuna and Towa are the same as they always have been to me. I think even if I was a SessRin shipper I’d be pretty meh about these two. Towa, the fighting fiend, wanting to just apologize to a literal monster who sucks out the bones of living men and animals alike? Just apologize and move on? What? Even Kagome didn’t think like that and she was pretty pacifistic. Setsuna is everything about Sesshoumaru I didn’t enjoy so that’s a no brainer that I’m waiting for their scenes to be over so we can get on with the plot. ‘I’m not so weak I need to uproot my life to get the ability to sleep back. Leave me alone, annoying sister who came to the warring states era to essentially just help me with that one task.’

Moroha’s ingenuity still gets me and has me grin. The purification salt in her mouth for the demon was pretty awesome as far as smarts. Would like to know what her debt is about. Her silliness gets ramped up a little too much sometimes. I think they want her to fill too many roles to keep the trio interesting; smart and expositiony, aggressive and foolhardy, and a hint comic relief. Sometimes it works, but this episode I was kind of meh for me. She felt a little flat until the fight, but they all kind of did so I think maybe that was just an issue with an episode for me? 

Hearing her belt out InuYasha’s attacks was total fanservice and I was there for it, tbh. 

I hadn’t intended this to be a full blown rant about the episode, especially given that for all of the balls it rolled into motion it didn’t really feel like a lot at any given point. It moved at a breakneck pace, like they all have, as if they’re playing catch up to something and yet every episode really doesn’t have -that- much happen to it. It all gets crammed into the second half and is done quickly. I don’t remember the episodes of IY feeling like this, but maybe that’s just nostalgia goggles. I remember thinking as I was watching “This kind of a fight, if it’s part of such a big aspect of the coming plot, feels like it should have had an episode or two of build up and a few touch and goes with the enemy to signal its significance to the over arching plot.” Kind of like how some of Naraku’s minions would have an episode or three arc of a grand scheme that moved the team closer to their end goal or a revelation before being shooed off or how a major development/fight between Sesshoumaru and InuYasha would have an episode or two building up to them running into each other. 

InuYasha has always beaten you over the head with concepts but you could still get completely blindsided by something or they’d say JUST ENOUGH to get you interested or curious. Here, stuff that seems important isn’t given much time or energy narratively, stuff that doesn’t seem important is given a bunch of attention (Setsuna learning how to play violin really had to happen in 3 days? She couldn’t have had that been a developmental thing throughout and something to grow with?) and we’re getting bombarded with exposition about things but nobody seems to be talking about anything... interesting? 

 I can see them not necessarily ‘dancing around’ the subject of the inu tachi, if they all know why they’re gone and they’ve been gone for years then they wouldn’t be talking about it because it’s common knowledge; that’s natural. Narratively for the audience, though.. Why would that be obvious not to talk about but Moroha’s blood and lineage need attention? That’s where the logic breaks me. We already know Moroha is a 1/3 demon. We know who her parents are (We can’t go long anymore without someone comparing her to one of them anymore, which is getting old and repetitive.). They know who her parents are. Why do we need to spend a half of an episode of Myoga expositing about -who- her family line is and less about their being missing? Myoga talking about how she tastes better than her father, but no mention of ‘I miss him’ or ‘Poor Lord InuYasha, I wish I knew where he was’ or ‘He was gone from us too soon, Lady Moroha. You would have loved him.’ or anything like he used to go on about Taisho to his sons? He clearly was endeared enough to either InuYasha or Moroha to be hanging with her to the point he didn’t meet up with Setsuna to determine she was Sesshoumaru’s kid before now. 

The same thing goes for how Kohaku and Miroku and Sango’s boy (I can not remember his name for the life of me) Didn’t know about Sesshoumaru and his daughters or that Setsuna was related to him and, for all intents and purposes, Rin - who Kohaku had traveled with for some time? The lack of details or discussion around these things is feeling more contrived than natural at this point seeing as they clearly remember these people, they’ve interacted with them as adults (Setsuna’s memory of Miroku now confirmed) so the memory wipe thing seems... odd. Unless it’s a situation where they’re all enchanted to remember their existence but placated as to not to go seeking them out. Or maybe they searched and didn’t find anything but again.. Miroku talking to Setsuna and her not knowing who he was despite growing up in the same village they settled down in? Was that just an illusion? What is up with this timeline? 

I kind of hope we’re not going to get our fix of the old group through sequences like Kohaku and Sango’s son where each character hits a milestone or a type of demon and someone who knew the original group gives a “Oh, when your Mom/Dad fought that during their journey they learned/defeated it by doing this!” InuYasha got it a few times, but often that was because he was having to learn a new skill via Tetsusaiga, or Kagome needing to learn to do something Kikyou once did, but it was always handled with an almost sense of reverence and feeling of a new challenge, not so much ‘Here’s a clip that the audience would remember that this character will likely shrug off or seem weird learning because they don’t really care about people they don’t remember (All three) or even like (Setsuna).’ 

Final note: Where are the damned twins? I hope they have a boy crazy streak. Miroku was cringe at times with his groping but the girls being the flirty ones would be an adorable change of pace. 

[angelmichelangelo]

idk if this is discourse or something you dont want to get into but are garrett and shane still friends??

short answer: 99% sure they’re not. and i’m saying 99% because i obviously can’t be entirely sure because. i don’t know these people irl lol but in my head im like 100% sure they’re definitely not on speaking terms right now, and haven’t been in a loooong while.

long answer? and boy, it’s a long answer: i think garrett removed himself from shane’s circle (with the exception of andrew ofc) long before the drama kicked off. i don’t really recall because i didn’t watch them at the time but i do remember seeing garrett kinda.. disappear from videos around the whole j* era .

i think garrett made a choice when he thought about who he was hanging around with and whether he needed those people in his life. considering andrew was working for shane at the time still, i imagine it would have been hard? i guess? to just be like “yeah i don’t wanna hang out anymore except you andrew but you’re here like most days anyway”

which obviously in the end when needed, andrew took off too and both garrett and andrew created their own empire without shane lmao.

looking back, i don’t think shane even liked garrett that much. as much of an “empath” that he says he is (it gives me such bad second hand embarrassment to even write that lol) he really didn’t give a fuck about garrett. and people would and probably still do, argue that that’s just their level of friendship! lightly bullying your friend but knowing the bondries as to not ever really hurt their feelings.

but shane always pushed that boundary. he was downright cruel to garrett in some instances. and it’s not just the “harry potter is lame” jokes that garrett actually mentioned kinda suck, which they do! but garrett was treated like the comic relief in the group, because in shane’s little bubble he wanted everyone to be what he wanted to be.

you had shane: the hero of the story.

ryland: the sassy back talking witty one (though ryland has the personality and the wit of a broom so that didn’t really work did it)

andrew: the sweet, middle ground, quiet one.

morgan: the clutz thats hastag relatable

and then you have: garrett. the idiot fool who bumbles around, making a scene wherever he goes and is practically babysat by everyone else.

one thing that fucking IRKS me about this is that if you watch garrett’s videos, you know he’s goofy, funny, an insanely fun person. but he’s far from being an idiot. shane couldn’t have someone else besides himself (in his own mind) being funny AND clever (again, in his own mind) so he belittled him and acted like he was a burden to have to lumber around all the time, rather than just a silly, goofy friend that would joke around a lot.

one part of a video was when they were at an airport (i think they were going to Texas) and andrew and garrett are goofing off as they put benjamin in the bag and ryland literally goes “we’re all waiting, garrett,” with this.. snarky, shameful tone. AS IF THEY HAVENT ALL EMBARRESED EACH OTHER IN PUBLIC BEFORE like UGH the whole fucking bunny video makes my blood boil i can’t even get into it it makes me too mad lmao.

so i think garrett definitely decided at some point that he didn’t want to take that kind of abuse anymore, and i definitely think andrew saw it as well - because andrew and garrett were friends way before shane came along, so to me, i feel like andrews priorities always were always with garrett, and if garrett were to leave, i think andrew knew he’d leave to, job or no job, he cared more about his friends than money and fame (looking at you shane ryland and morgan)

shane doesn’t care about his friends or his “loved ones” or any of the people around him. he cares about money and fame and numbers and attention, even if it’s the negative kind. he’d joke that he KNEW he was treating garrett like shit and he’d use that as fuel to keep going, because he knew it drew more people in. plus, i feel like shane knew how popular garrett was getting. his channel exploded and he started making videos and people LOVED him. rightly so lol. nearly half the comments were about garrett; something he said and did, and rather than be excited for his “friend” shane took his anger out on him, almost, and again this is just my opinion, but in a way.. to control garrett.

i think it’s only human to think certain things, and i wonder if garrett had any worries that all his growing success and attention was because of shane and not because of himself. i wonder if maybe, deep down, he had some kind of fear that if he left, his subs would leave too. but obviously, he took the plunge, and everyone stayed and shane’s channel went up in flames lmao

garrett is one of those youtubers i think is very genuine. whilst everyone wears a certain mask online, which is fine, i feel like garrett’s is very thinly veiled. what you see is what you get with him, and the fact that his personality was used as an emotional punching bag by people he trusted and cared about, is really awful.

and i don’t fault him for sticking around shane. we’ve all witnessed toxic friendship/relationships, and im sure a lot of people understand how HARD it is to just get up and walk away. i think garrett tried his best to help shane and make him a better person, but i think it reached his limit, and he had a talk with andrew and they made the mutual desicion to move on without the rest of them.

AND THEYRE KILLING IT TOGETHER!!! i mean, fuck morgan for trying to shift blame on them for leaving, and fuck shane for obvious reasons and fuck ryland for no other reason that i hate him with an inch of my soul GOD he’s so fucking boring to look at. where’s the flavour???

i personally do not think that the nature of their friendship is something garrett is ever going to casually mention or make a sit down video about. i think the only information we’ll get is from shane’s pov either rather snarkily through rylands podcast or if shane ever attempts to come back to youtube, he might just mention them in passing OR they’ll all eventually all break the mutual on social media and that’ll be that. i feel like shane is the kind of person that won’t outright say anything on his own channel to hurt andrew or garrett because he’ll still want to keep up his uwu soft boy personality, but my god i can practically hear the fucking snide comments they’ll make on the podcast that don’t outright namedrop them, but they’ll probably make comments about “fake friends” or some shit like that, and all the brainless shane stans will use that as an excuse to be leave nasty comments on garrett and andrew’s stuff like they already do. so i guess we’ll just have to wait and see and know that hopefully andrew and garrett are prepared for any hate they’ll no doubt be receiving once shane tries to force his way back into the circle again.

so yeah, that’s my long answer lol. i don’t know if there was a discussion between them all but i have a feeling garrett just went away and kinda faded them out, and obviously im guessing there were conversations with andrew and shane since technically he worked for him, but yeah, there’s no way they’re all good friends behind the scenes. and im so fucking fine with that because andrew and garrett were 100% the reason i used to watch shane’s videos, and i’m glad they removed themselves from such a toxic environment where they went off and found success together without needing money or fame or any drama attached.

[alicedoessurveys]

Doctor Who Tag

yes im a nerd...

CHILDHOOD

1. Did you like DW as a child?

I was 10 when it came back on telly with Eccleston and the first episode with the autons scared me so much my mom wouldn't let me watch it again until a couple years later, but yeah my teens I was obsessed with DW... still am at age 25

2. Your age at the time of the revival?

10

3. First DW episode you ever saw?

‘Rose’

4. Did you have any of the toys?

I still have the eleventh doctor’s screwdriver... I used to have some of the figures but there in storage now somewhere

5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?

didn't play it on the playground

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?

all of them! the ones that still scare me now are the Cybermen and the Autons... genuinely cant walk past a shop mannequin without being suspicious 

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?

as a kid, any of the innuendo type jokes

8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?

idk I think I still have the same opinions

9. Who introduced you to DW?

parents

10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?

I LOVED SJA!! I miss that show, and Elizabeth Slade :(

DOCTOR

11. Who is your Doctor?

Ten was the doctor that made me fall in love with Doctor Who 

12. Your favourite Doctor?

omg why not just ask me who my favourite child is... (I don't have kids but you know what I mean) if I had to chose my top three are ten, eleven and thirteen

13. Least favourite Doctor?

purely just because he doesn't have enough episodes... nine...

14. Best regeneration?

none of them I hate regenerations :( they make me sad, im too emotionally invested in every single one

15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?

they're not my faves

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

I think nine maybe? or twelve?

17. Best multi-Doctor story?

the 50th anniversary special 

18. Best Doctor monologue?

“Hello Stonehenge! who takes the pandorica, takes the universe. but bad news everyone, cause guess who? HA! You lot you're all whizzing about- its really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING. Question of the hour is, who's got the pandorica? Answer, I do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on, look at me! No plan. No backup. No weapons worth a damn. oh and something else, I don't have anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the pandorica tonight... just remember who's standing in your way. remember ever black day I ever stopped you and then- AND THEN- do the smart thing... let somebody else try first.”

not copied and pasted, remember that from the top of my head... its always there waiting in my mind incase I ever need an epic monologue :’)

19, What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?

hopefully living his best life with Rose

20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?

ten and donna 

COMPANIONS

21. Favourite companion?

Donna, Clara, Amy

22. Favourite secondary companion?

is Mickey classed as secondary? idk

23. Least favourite companion?

Ryan

24. Best TARDIS Team?

Doctor, Amy and Rory

25. Most underrated companion?

Graham, but that may just be cause I love Bradders

26. Most overrated companion?

Rose... I like her but idk, I think she gets more hype than she deserves.. don't @ me

27. Favourite companion’s family?

Rose’s mom

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?

idk I cant think of anyone

29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?

Amy and Rory

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?

wasn't keen on Bill at first but by the end I really liked her, same with Rory

EPISODES

31. Favourite episode ever?

girl in the fireplace

32. Least favourite episode?

most of Chibnall’s episodes tbh sorry not sorry 

33. Which episodes do you skip?

the regeneration episodes

34. Best two-parter?

Human Nature - Family of Blood

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

I like them all in there own way but I think present is fave, then historical, then future

36. Episode that will always make you smile?

all of them

37. Episode that will always make you cry?

Rory and Amy’s last episode :’(

38. Best run of episodes?

ugh I cant answer this theres too many 

39. Best cliffhanger?

the end of Spyfall part one when the Master reveals who he is... I was SHOOK

40. Favourite Christmas special?

Voyage of the Damned

SERIES

41. Classic Who or New Who?

new who

42. Favourite series?

four or five

43. Least favourite series?

eleven, I just cant with the writing

44. Which series do you skip?

none

45. Favourite series opening?

eleventh hour

46. Favourite series finale?

Doomsday

47. Best series arc?

Bad Wolf

48. Thoughts on series 11/12?

I adore Jodie Whittaker and her doctor, and although I think 3 companions is too many I do love Yaz and Graham (Ryan is hit & miss). I just think theyve been massively let down by the stories/writing... they’ve tried to hard to tick certain boxes and completely missed what Doctor Who is about for a lot of people.. an escape from the real world into these outrageous unbelievable but lovable fun alien adventures 

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?

not a lot

50. Who should have had another series?

NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE 

MONSTERS

51. Favourite monster/villain?

the master 

52. Most creative monster?

Weeping Angels, whoever came up with monsters that look like statues and only move when you're not looking at them is genius 

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

Autons, Cybermen, the creepy dolls from Night Terrors, the ones from Waters of Mars, Weeping Angels

54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?

idk

55. Least favourite monster/villain?

absorbaloff

56. Monster you want to return?

The Master, I really hope that isn't the last we see of Dhawan

57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?

being genuinely scary, 

58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?

Weeping Angels

59. Best Dalek story?

Daleks in Manhatten

60. Best one time villain/monster?

my brain has gone blank I cant think of an answer right now 

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?

SJA

62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?

I haven't watched it all so I couldn't say 

63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?

again, not watched it all 

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

huh

65. Favourite SJA Team member?

Sarah Jane

66. Mr Smith or K-9?

K-9

67. Maria or Rani?

Rani

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?

Nope

69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?

n/a

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?

yes

DESIGN/PRODUCTION

71. Favourite piece of alien tech?

the sonic, I love how it is so multipurpose except for when it comes to wood 

72. Favourite piece of Murray Gold music?

I am the Doctor - gets me pumped every time 

73. Favourite TARDIS design?

Ten’s Tardis 

74. Has the 2005 era CGI aged well?

actually yeah, I was rewatching the ‘are you my mummy’ episodes the other day and my God when the gas masks emerged from the faces... ooooooof I was like omg how 

75. Favourite Doctor outfit?

eleven or thirteen

76. Monster with the best design?

not really a design more of a costume.. I live Dhawan master’s costume. that shade of purple, oof he so stylish 

77. Best show runner?

idk

78. Best writer?

Gatiss

79. Best opening titles?

eleven’s titles where the Tardis is flying and being zapped is cool but thirteens music hits different 

80. Will DW age well/stay popular in the future?

I hope so, I feel like its lasted this long surely it can last forever.. if the writers don't fuck it up... 

IF YOU WERE IN THE SHOW

81. Time period you’d want to go with the Doctor?

whatever time means Id get to wear the most beautiful costumes

82. Planet/place you’d want to go with the Doctor?

Galifrey, pre-desctruction

83. Doctor you’d most like to travel with?

any of them, please and thank you

84. Companion you’d most like to travel with?

donna, sceso a good laugh but also I feel like she’d look after me 

85. Monster you’d like to defeat/fight?

The Master 

86. If you could go back on your own history (like Father’s Day), where would you go?

back to when I was a toddler, I wanna see what I was like 

87. If you could ask the Doctor anything, what would you ask?

theres too many to ask 

88. Historical figure you’d like to meet?

Shakespeare

89. How do you think you’d meet the Doctor?

id probably be rescued from doing something stupid and then the doc would be like you know what the bitch clearly needs supervision she's coming with me 

90. Would you travel forwards or backwards in time first?

backwards

IF YOU MADE THE SHOW

91. Historical event would you like to see in DW?

Hamilton

92. Issue you’d like to see addressed in DW?

idk 

93. Who would you completely erase from the DW universe?

Ruth

94. One unanswered DW question you’d love to know the answer to?

where is Clara now?

95. Actor/actress you’d like to see play the Doctor?

Phoebe Waller Bridge (or Lin Manuel Miranda)

96. Actor/actress you’d like to see play a companion?

Andrew Scott (yes I did just basically recast fleabag and hot priest)

97. Is DW “too political”?

series 11 got a bit like that 

98. Which characters fate would you changed?

Danny Pink

99. What about DW could be improved?

I think ive made my options about Chibnall pretty clear... 

100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do

bring back Jenny, the Doctor / Daughter adventures they would have. I’m actually writing a fic about it if you wanna read.... here

[freddiesaysalright]

Peace Like A River Part 4

A Gwilym Lee x Reader Story

Summary: Reader is a stand up comic with a pretty dark past. She has a three new lights in her life: her daughter, Violet; her anonymous correspondent, Dear Friend; and Gwilym Lee.

Word Count: 3.2K

Tag List:  @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @simmisblog, @assembledherethevolunteers, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @readinghorn, @riddikuluslypotter, @doingalrightt, @misslolasworld, @lemurian-starship, @ravenedges-lies, @painkiller80, @imgonnabeyourslave If you’d like to be added let me know!

A/N: Alright, the big reveal! I hope you guys enjoy it! Don’t worry, there’s still some shit to go down before this story is over!

Part I  Part II  Part III

Part 4 here we go!!!

“You’re going to meet him right?” Stacy questioned.

You trembled at the thought. This man, Dear Friend, was probably the love of your life. To meet him would mean to take actual steps toward being happy. That terrified you. The last time you put that much trust in someone, you got burned. Sometimes quite literally. Logically, you knew that Dear Friend wasn’t like that. He couldn’t be. But your body remembered all too well. So did your heart.

“I - I want to,” you managed to say. “I just don’t know if I can.”

“But, Y/N, what if it’s your only chance?” she pressed. “He lives in the UK. Who knows when you’ll have another opportunity to meet without a hefty expense for one or both of you?”

“You’re right,” you admitted. “But the truth is, I’m a coward.”

Stacy sighed and looked at you in disbelief.

“Are you serious?” she questioned. “You’re one of the bravest people I know. You left your husband and kept him away from you. You’re raising your daughter all on your own. And you took a shot at a career in comedy, which is highly competitive, especially for women. And look how it turned out for you!”

“This is different,” you said.

“How?” she demanded.

“It just is,” you insisted. “It involves love, it involves another person.”

“Do you want to hurt him?” she asked.

“No, of course not,” you said.

“Then go,” she replied. “If you don’t, he’ll be crushed.”

You looked at the letter again, hesitant. 

“Take a chance, Y/N,” she pressed. “You deserve to be happy.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but the bathroom door beside you opened and Violet poked her head out. 

“Mommy, I’m ready for my bath now,” she said. 

“Right, sorry, baby,” you returned, shaking your head. “I’ll be there in one second.”

“Okie dokie,” she replied, and closed the door again.

You turned back to Stacy and handed her the letter. “Put this on my desk. I’ll answer it once Violet’s in bed.”

She sighed. “Alright, then.”

You didn’t answer and went into the bathroom to help Violet in her bath. The water was full and warm and you’d added bubbles like she liked. You lifted her up and placed her in the water as she giggled. You reached for her shampoo and began lathering it in her curls. She was talking to you, but your mind was on Dear Friend. Were you really ready to take that step?

“Mommy,” your daughter said seriously, calling you back to her. “Are you hurting somewhere?”

“No, honey,” you replied, brow furrowing. “Why?”

“You seem sad,” she said simply. 

You brushed her cheek with your thumb. “You are very sweet to worry about me, but you don’t need to. I’m okay.”

“Do you miss Mister Gwilym?”

You blinked with surprise, but recovered quickly, and smiled.

“A little,” you said. “You like Mister Gwilym, Vi?”

She answered with an exaggerated nod. “I do. He’s nice, and when he’s here, you smile a lot.”

“He is a good man,” you agreed. 

Without warning, she slammed her toy boat into the water with a massive splash. Bubbles and water freckled your face before you could draw back. You sputtered to get the suds out of your mouth and gaped amusedly at your daughter. She giggled mischievously. 

“You rotten girl!” you teased and tickled her sides.

She shrieked with laughter and splashed around some more as you tickled her. You stopped and she caught her breath. You pinched her cheek gently.

“Mommy, can I have a mohawk?” she requested.

“Sure thing, sweetie,” you returned and used the suds and water to style her hair.

“I love you,” she said suddenly. “I want you to be happy and smile all the time.”

Your heart melted. You were surprised there wasn’t a puddle on your chest.

“I love you too,” you told her. “More than anything in the world. You’re my biggest reason to smile.”

She beamed at that. “But you should have other stuff too! I don’t know what Miss Stacy said you need to do, but you should do it if it makes you smile!”

It really was that simple. You couldn’t let fear hold you back. To get what you wanted, you needed to be as open hearted and trusting as your three-year-old girl. You kissed her wet forehead.

“You’re right, sweetie,” you said. “I will.”

“Good!” she chirped. “Is my mohawk ready?”

“Yeah, check it out,” you said, grabbing the hand mirror from the counter.

She made an angry face in the mirror before breaking into fresh bits of laughter.

“I look funny,” she said, giggling.

You hummed in agreement. “Come on, silly girl. Time to dry off.”

You wrapped a towel around her and carried her out to the room to get her clothes. She picked out her favorite pajamas and you helped her get them on. Then you had her brush her teeth while you combed her hair. Then you got in bed and she snuggled close so you could read her a story. As you read, you thought how crazy it was that she had imparted such simple wisdom on you.  

When she was asleep, you went to your desk to answer Dear Friend. Your pen shook in your hand as you wrote. 

Dear Friend. It is time we meet. Perhaps by fate, I’m going to be in Atlanta for work that week. I know a place there that has great coffee…

You organized a date, time, and place. It made you feel in control which eased your nerves. You also decided how you were going to know it was Dear Friend. You would both carry a copy of Pride and Prejudice with a pink carnation in it. You were going to meet Dear Friend. See his face. Hold his hand. Maybe even kiss him. With all the worry that clouded your heart, excitement began to peek through.

I await our meeting eagerly. I’m trembling now just thinking of seeing you. Touching you. Loving you truly. Until then, your Dear Friend.

You put the pen down and read it over again, making sure you had every detail right. This was the chance of a lifetime and you could not afford to mess anything up. 

From Chicago, you went to DC, where you had two shows. From DC, you headed to Charlotte for one night and then from Charlotte you went to Atlanta. That city felt like the big leap. Every step you took, every mile traveled brought you closer to Dear Friend. On your night in Charlotte, you received a letter from him confirming that he would be where you suggested at the time you suggested. You could feel his excitement through the ink. 

I can’t believe I’ll be able to hold you in my arms at last, he wrote. I desperately want to feel you close to me. To come together as our hearts already have. I love you. I look forward to seeing your lovely face. Yours, Dear Friend. 

It would have been touching if it didn’t make you so nervous. And for the first time, you did not need to write a reply. That made you a bit sad. Was this your last letter from Dear Friend? It was the end of an era for you. But, who would need a letter when you had him next to you? 

Violet also complicated things. You would have to tell him about her, and right away. You were fairly certain he would have no objections to your child. He knew you were married before, after all. But it was still a nerve wracking thing to go over in your head. What if it did change how he felt about you? It would be so easy for him to walk away at this point. 

As you touched down in Atlanta, your stomach did a flip, and not just because of the shaky landing. This was really it. The place you would meet Dear Friend, and probably change your life forever. One way or the other. 

You were meeting him after your second show in Atlanta. The whole evening, you felt like you were hardly present on stage. You heard the audience laughing, but you couldn’t remember by the end of it how it went or if you had even done a good job. You hated that you had probably let some people down, but you had this massive event hanging before you like a storm on the horizon. It was unavoidable. 

After the show, Stacy was waiting for you. Violet was already in the stroller, asleep. The cafe was close to the venue, so you were just going to walk there. The weather was nice since it was fall, and you didn’t mind the exercise. It would help you to clear your head. 

“Stacy, I can’t do this,” you said when you were about halfway there. “I’m gonna throw up.”

Really, you felt like your stomach was jumping around inside you. Any second now, you were sure you would lose your dinner right there on the sidewalk. 

“Y/N, listen to me,” she said, taking your hand and making you look at her. “You’re going to be fine. This man, Dear Friend, has never disappointed you. You have something real. It’s worth exploring. It’s worth the risk.”

You remembered telling Gwilym back in Boston about risk taking. You realized now that was much easier said than done. 

She held your hand all the way to the cafe. A large window was in the front, where you could see the customers, but you didn’t look. You turned your back and covered your eyes. 

“He’s the one with Pride and Prejudice with a carnation in it,” you said. “I can’t look, Stace, you have to do it for me.”

Stacy scanned the patrons and then you heard her gasp. “There he is!”

Your mind and heart were racing. He was so close now. You could feel him. Somewhere, just feet away from you, he sat. Was he sipping a coffee? Was he just looking around waiting for you? Was he everything you’d ever imagined him to be? You thought you might explode from all the questions and emotions coursing through you.

“What’s he like?!” you squeaked out.

“Well, you find Gwilym attractive, right?” she wondered, and you heard concern in her voice.

“Sure, why?” you returned, narrowing your eyes at the street in confusion. 

“Because…” she trailed off. 

“Does he look like Gwilym?” you pressed. 

“You could say that,” she answered vaguely. 

“Stacy, just tell me!” you cried. 

“Y/N...it is Gwilym.”

“What?!” you gasped, whipping around. 

You gazed through the window and saw him. Your friend Gwilym Lee, alone at a table, a copy of Pride and Prejudice beside him, with the carnation. Worlds collided and for a moment, you were ready to leap with joy. Of course Gwilym was Dear Friend. It all made sense now! But, as quickly as happiness came, it departed. A voice that sounded like Henry’s ran through your mind and crawled over your skin. Unworthy, it hissed to you. 

You recalled all the ways Gwilym had described the girl he was in love with. Smart, well-educated, lovely, beautiful. You couldn’t measure up to the version of yourself you had presented to him in those letters. All you really were was a disappointment. You were sure of it.

Stacy eyed you, a smile threatening to part her lips. 

“This is great!” she said. “Right?”

Her happiness faltered when she saw it leave your face. 

“What is it?”

“I’m not the girl he’s in love with,” you said. 

“What the fuck?” she returned. “You’re Dear Friend, of course you are.”

You shook your head. “No. I’m not. I was who I want to be in those letters. Not who I am. I don’t…” you took a deep breath. A lump the size of a chicken egg had formed in your throat. “I don’t deserve him.”

“Y/N…”

“Take Violet back to the hotel,” you said. 

“Are you going in?” she asked. 

“Yeah, but...I can’t tell him,” you said. “It would only upset him.”

“I think he’ll be more upset to think he got stood up,” she said. 

“I’ll work it out, just please, take Violet and go.”

With a sigh, she obeyed. You watched her disappear around the corner. You stuffed the book into your purse, and flower as well, ensuring they were deep inside and couldn’t be seen, even from a distance. You blinked back your tears quickly and heaved a sigh. It was time. 

You walked in and strolled up to the counter casually, as if you were just popping in after your show with no real sense of purpose. You looked at your phone as you waited for the barista to acknowledge you. 

“Y/N?” Gwilym’s voice came from the table. 

“Oh, hey Gwil!” you said brightly. “I didn’t know you were in Atlanta.”

“I didn’t know you were,” he returned. 

“When I get my drink, can I join you?”

He glanced at the book, then at his watch. A frown just barely crossed his mouth and then he smiled at you. 

“Sure,” he said. “That’s fine.”

You ordered and when you had your cup, you sat across from him at the little table. 

“Are you meeting someone?” you asked casually. 

“How’d you guess?” he replied. 

“Not exactly the most subtle check of your watch there, dude,” you teased. 

He chuckled. “I suppose not. But yes, I am waiting for someone.”

“Your girlfriend?” you wondered, taking a sip. 

He hesitated. “I suppose.”

“What’s up with the book?”

He sighed. “It’s all a bit silly, really. You see, the woman I told you about...I’ve never actually met her. We’ve been writing letters for a year or so now and we were supposed to finally meet tonight. I don’t even know her name. We call each other Dear Friend. Is that completely insane?”

It was like he’d taken a nail gun to the glass of your heart. It cracked and then when Dear Friend came from his mouth, completely shattered. 

You looked at your hands around the coffee mug. “No, not completely.”

“I’m glad someone thinks so,” he said. “The guys have all been giving me hell for it.”

“They’re just jealous,” you said with a shrug. 

“That’s generous of you to say, but I know that it’s sort of stupid for me to hope on a thing like this,” he said. “Unfortunately, she’s a bit late.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you said. You meant this. He was about to get hurt and it was entirely your fault. 

“I’ll hold out hope for a little while longer,” he assured you. “What about you and your man? Going well still?”

You swallowed and shook your head. “No. It didn’t work out.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said gently, and reached over to take your hand. 

You looked into his beautiful blue eyes and almost confessed. But you held back as that voice returned and reminded you that you were undeserving of his kindness. 

“Really, I hate that for you,” he continued as he squeezed his fingers around yours. 

“Thanks,” you said, looking away again. 

Your eyes welled up unexpectedly as emotion overwhelmed you again. This was not how this was supposed to go. But - as you considered it - you were so nervous because you knew that no matter who Dear Friend was, you were never going to feel worthy of him. Now that you knew it was Gwilym, a person you loved and respected outside of the letters as well, it only made that feeling all the more intense. 

“Y/N?” he questioned. “Are you alright?” 

You sniffled. “I am so sorry, Gwilym.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” he said soothingly, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. “You don’t need to cry for me. If she hasn’t shown up, I’m sure it’s for a very good reason.” 

It made you let out a sob because that woman didn’t exist. Instead, she was you. 

“This can’t all be about me,” he said. “Is it your relationship as well?”

You nodded. “Yeah, sorry I’m so emotional. I just hate this.”

Your heart was breaking inside your chest. It was all over now. No more Dear Friend. 

“Do you want me to walk you home?” he offered. 

You shook your head and wiped your eyes. “No, you don’t need to do that. I’ll be fine.”  

“I don’t like the idea of you walking alone,” he went on. 

“Really, Gwil, I don’t need it,” you assured him. “I need the fresh air anyway. I love to walk. It helps me think.”

“Well, don’t overthink,” he said. “That’s where you’ll get into trouble.”

You tried to smile but couldn’t. You couldn’t believe this was it. The end of you and Dear Friend. And most likely the end of you and Gwilym as well. How could it ever be the same when you were in love with him?

It should have been obvious to you. That Tolstoy quote should have been a dead giveaway. When you thought about Gwilym and Dear Friend, it made sense that it was the same man. Gwilym was no one other than himself. You on the other hand, had a mask for every occasion. For the stage, for the letters, even for Violet. You took on the roles you felt each situation demanded of you. And in doing so, no one really knew who you were. You thought Dear Friend did, but realizing he knew you in another form made that line between your identities all the more clear to you. And he deserved someone whole. 

“I’ll try not to,” you said. 

You had to pull your hand away from his because it felt like he was burning into your skin. His pure intentions and goodness could sear a hole right through your layers. Even you weren’t sure what he would find if he made it through all of them. 

“Well, I suppose it would look bad if she showed up and found me with someone else,” he said, trying to lighten the mood. 

You forced a chuckle. “Yeah. I’ll head out.”

“I hope you feel better, Y/N.”

“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” you returned. 

His brow furrowed at that, but you stood up, not bothering to explain yourself. It was true. You hoped there really was a woman out there like the Dear Friend you had created for yourself. That she was his perfect match and could give him the life he deserved. That she could match his wit and depth and gentleness of spirit. 

You left him there in the cafe, and did not look back. You felt like you had just torn your own heart out. In a way, you had. Part of you wished for rain. A real downpour to hide the tears that streaked your face as you sobbed all the way back to your hotel room. 

When you came in, Stacy was waiting up for you. You told her everything. Through it all, you were wracked with sobs and shivering. You could tell she was confused at seeing this side of you. You had no jokes to downplay what you were feeling. All you could do was wallow in this grief. She held you in your bed, stroked your hair, and whispered words of comfort to you until you cried yourself to sleep in her arms. As your heavy lids closed, you couldn’t help but wish it was Gwilym’s familiar embrace around you. Dear Friend’s arms. 

[davidmann95]

Will the King/Gerards upcoming Adam Strange book overcome your hatred of the Man of Two Worlds?

It was this question that actually let me know about this! I literally screamed at the sight of it! Congratulations, you fucking monster!

jcogginsa said: So its looking like King/Gerads next project is gonna be Adam Strange. Which honestly seems like god playing a joke on you specifically

So my initial reaction to arguably the best creative team in comics right now making their huge blowout sequel to Mister Miracle we’ve been waiting for about my literal least-favorite character in all of fiction, my anti-Superman? I was not the very happiest of campers. Not that I thought for a second I wouldn’t buy it, it’s King and Gerads let’s get real here, but…really? For real really? Granted, as @deathchrist2000​ pointed out, this does have the upside of meaning King’s gonna put him through hell, but that hardly seemed like a fair tradeoff when Gerads’ initial teases made it seem as though it would be a Justice League project. My Twitter response was that this was a personal, deliberate attack against me specifically.

I had thought I was joking. And then they announced the third member of the team along with releasing the covers.

…so three responses to this.

1. It almost feels silly and borderline-condescending to refer to this as @evandocshaner​‘s breakout project. I think I’ve said it about a few of his gigs, and after being placed at the forefront the way he was with the company he was in for The Man of Steel, it feels fair to say he’s broken out and no longer should be spoken of as some kind of fledgling, wet-behind-the-ears young’un looking for his place in the industry. But there’s a difference between even something as big as kicking off a new era of Superman, and being an equal partner in the spiritual sequel to what many consider the best superhero comic of the 2010s. Absolutely could not be happier to see him here.

2. He knew. He knew. Doc follows me, we’re (SO I HAD BELIEVED) pals on here, he had to have known. He certainly knew as of at least yesterday when he faved my initial horrified reaction, and I assumed it was simply a light-hearted pat on the back/continuation of his merciless blood feud with Gerads. Joke’s over, because I 100% guarantee you that part of the creative team for the new Adam Strange title at least once during the process of putting this book together thought of me specifically and laughed his ass off.

3. I’m actually for-real interested now.

Not even simply for Shaner’s involvement - I had already loved the creative team, that wasn’t the issue, thought this sure doesn’t hurt - but because it’s now incredibly clear that there’s a lot more to having him and Gerads working on this together than ‘they’re both real real good’. If it’s tackling Strange from both ends, both the side of him with the dope suit and gorgeous retro sci-fi universe that manages to tap into a genuine pure sense of escapist joy, and the side of him I always come back to that’s a fucked-up nerd power fantasy in colonialist dressing? Whether that means dismantling the broken architecture of the latter to embrace the promise of the former, revealing the dream as a sham covering up a poisonous reality, or something more complicated still, this feels from two images alone like it’s acknowledging all of my own feelings about him as a character in a way that, heaven help me, has me really wanting to read this comic about Adam Strange.

So yes: this is in fact God playing a joke, and one way or another? It seems it really is on me.

[carriagelamp]

February 2020 Book Review

The Last Wish / Sword Of Destiny

Let’s start with the books that currently have me in a stranglehold. I apologize to everyone that actually follows me and watched me descend into fandom pits but whatcha gonna do. So, I was aware of the video game when it came out, but not being a prolific gamer I was intrigued but never bothered getting into it. Then the Netflix series came out, and I was again intrigued... but I suck at sitting down and watching shows. So what the heck I decided, it’s probably mediocre hypermasculine high fantasy but let’s try a book to see what the fuss is all about.

Good god. Guys. It’s real good. And so fucking different from the show. Geralt is actually a really emotional, well-meaning guy who’s starved for positive social interactions and is just trying to do his best. And the books’ consistent themes of colonialism, environmental destruction, forced extinction, and changing eras is... chilling and fascinating and honestly a little too relatable at times. These books have made me laugh and shout and frankly sob. Still a little sexist, cause 90s fantasy, but Geralt is so not the gruff, heartless, manly man character I thought he would be. I am so deeply into these and have just cracked the spine of the next book in the series. If you like high fantasy, I can’t recommend these enough.

The Silver Eyes

I just learnt that there were Five Nights At Freddy’s books, and honestly picked this up from the library as a joke for my brother. We’d played the games back when they first came out, and were into the lore, but lbr they’re more of a meme at this point. Anyway, we ended up reading this out loud to each other, a chapter a night, and I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. Probably wouldn’t have liked it as much on my own, but the main character was complicated and messy, and the book’s way or portraying trauma was neat. It was nominally horror, and did have the occasional chilling moment, or times it was fun to speculate, it over all it was pretty run of the mill middle grade fiction.

FRNK

Probably the best graphic novel I’ve read this month. 

I was howling with laughter while I read it. Good quality Belgium comics, always a treat. This story is about a modern day boy, Frank, who is accidentally thrown back into prehistoric times, where he’s stuck with a bunch of cavemen who haven’t invented the concept of vowels yet. Admittedly my French isn’t great, so it made trying to decipher words with half the letters missing a challenge to say the least, but plenty worth it. I really want to get my hands on book two. I believe there’s an English translation, and I’d recommend giving it a try.

Best Friends

A neat little graphic novel that addresses common growing up issues, about what it means to be friends, stay friends, how to cope with people changing and when it’s time to walk away. Anxiety, being yourself, fitting in, all that sort of stuff. It’s a quick read, very pleasant, and has nice art.

Karen’s Witch

Another cute graphic novel with charming art. I read this at the store while I was waiting for a prescription to be filled. It’s about this five year old (or thereabouts) who is absolutely determined that her neighbour is a witch and by god she is going to prove it or at least scare herself and her friend silly in the process. A fun little read!

Endling: The First

The second book in the Endling series, and all my praise for the first book apply here as well. A super unique high fantasy that gives extinct and threatened species a voice. The book explore themes of war, environmental destruction, sacrifice and loss. You really get to see how much Byx has grown and how much she needs to continue to grow. This book has me so excited for the third, I haven’t read such an emotionally rewarding quest novel in a long time.

Bleach

I found out my library has a billion books of this series and decided to jump into it again for the first time in over a decade. Honestly it’s even better than I remembered? The art is absolutely stunning, Ichigo is such a power fantasy hero, and it’s one of those series with a lot of really loveable characters and a lot of heart. Ichigo is a good guy who you actually feel good liking, which can’t be said for all shonen protags by any means. This is just such a classic and it holds up man. And if you like manga and have never read it? Jump in and enjoy a normal human getting supernatural powers and kicking absolutely enormous monsters’ asses.

Dinotopia: Sabertooth Mountain

This was my favourite Dinotopia book as a kid, and it was still fun to reread. The world of Dinotopia is one separate from the rest of the world, where humanity lives in perfect harmony with many prehistoric creatures that have managed to survive and evolve on the island of Dinotopia. This story is about a crisis brewing, as the sabertooths are cut off from their food supply and are in danger of not only starving but of bringing death to the rest of the mountain as well. While surveying the situation with his older sister, the main character finds himself falling from the airship in the middle of a storm, directly into the valley of starving sabertooths.

I read a bunch of this author’s graphic novels, and they are such feel-good queer lit. This was probably my favourite of the lot, but I also read Tea Dragon Society, Aquicorn Cove, and Princess Princess Ever After. Taking place in a picturesque mountain community, it’s about a girl meeting a guardian dragon who accidentally fell asleep in the mountains a century ago rather than watch over the village like intended. It’s about coming to terms with and loving yourself (and also about super cute little tea dragons).

Just Jaime

Another story that focuses on the complications of middle school, and how friends can grow and change, and when sometimes friendships become toxic and cruel. These are novel/graphic novel hybrids that are very visually appealing, and really do manage to tell very heartfelt stories. This one takes a side character from the earlier two books, and turns her from a very one dimensional, somewhat annoying character, into a fully realized person with her own issues and her own need for growth.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up / The Life-Changing Manga Of Tidying Up

Given that I’m not really a non-fiction person and DEFINITELY not a self-help book person, I really enjoyed these (though I didn’t read Spark Joy). I read the manga first, out of curiosity, but enough of it struck true that I decided to try the book as well. Have I cleaned anything up yet? No. But honestly, I can genuinely say that despite being repetitive at points I do truly feel like I got a lot of good out of it, and I feel much more excited and prepared when I do decide to do a big clean next. It really does reframe the relationship you have with your belongings and with yourself. I genuinely love the concept of “sparking joy”.

Bigfoot Boy: The Sound Of Thunder

Technically the last book of the series, whoops. Though honestly having read it I didn’t feel like I missed that much. It’s a Canadian graphic novel and I had... mixed feelings about it. Interesting and exciting in some ways, but the pacing was odd, and honestly I don’t think indigenous voices went into making it (I could be wrong but...) and it reads as kinda... eugh. Problematic. Having a none indigenous author write about a white boy being the guardian of a first nation totem and turning into a bigfoot isn’t a super cool optic.

Bloodchild

I was told “hey this is a really fucked up short story” so I read it, and guess what? It was a really fucked up short story. Would recommend if you want weird alien sex slavery bullshit-- it was a wild ride. And the overall themes obviously went a lot deeper than that, but honestly, it’s like a few dozen pages long if you wanna dig into all the philosophical shit, just give it a read! Uh, heavy content warning, tw tw tw, but a really bizarre, unsettling look at gender and power dynamics and oppression through a scifi lens.

Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIHM

I hadn’t read this book since elementary school so I reread it on a whim. It really is such a charming story. As far as animal stories go, this feels almost like the platonic ideal. Mother mouse is worried about her sick son and winds up compelled to seek out the mysterious rats who live in the rosebush for help, and is not only thrust into her own adventure but learns about the strange past her late husband shared with the rats of NIMH. It’s such a relaxing read, while still managing to be exciting and compelling.

Exploring According to Og the Frog

And one last animal story to round us off. I’d read one of the Humphrey books last month, and check out a couple more from the library for fun. I didn’t enjoy Mysteries According to Humphrey that much, but this one was charming, showing the world through Humphrey’s frog friend Og instead. The same charming type of adventure, but being a frog, Og has a very different attitude and view of the world, which was fun. Very cute elementary kid lit.

[ourladyofomega]

Close to the end of the year, and also when the semester ended, I looked forward in selling my books after finals so that I would get money back. I’d get a friend together to take me to Tower Records in Huntington. In a matter of one hour, that money would be gone. Right now I’d be very excited about what I would find in those bins. But due to the pandemic it hasn’t been the case and the euphoria of being in a store, any store at midnight, has been absent. During the mid-00′s, Tower Records went under and currently co-opting the former Huntington location is a third-rate clothing store.

One day as I was driving to work, people stood on the sidewalks of Route 110 holding picket signs like it was the end of the world. First advertised on those signs were 10%-30% percent off all merchandise at Tower. When passers-by and sidewalk shoppers took a closer look, they ended up in shock as they realized that it was an end of an era of some sort. A few days later, the stakes went up. 40%-60% discounts finally garnered Tower’s final audience and rush of shoppers. The final swan song came when all merchandise was down to a whopping 70%-90% percent off. That was when they had their biggest ever turnout because no one wanted to pay full price for music. (Not then when downloading broke, and still not now.) Music collectors and fans were reluctant to buy any new release or any title that was full price. Now they all jumped at the opportunity to clean out Tower’s shelves with a steal. Buyers hovered and tracked entire sections looking for that one shining crown jewel that made their lifetime.

As a music fan for years, I couldn’t begin to tell you how much Tower shaped my taste in music and style. Unlike FYE and Sam Goody, Tower was the one commercial music chain that had a lot of artists and titles that no other commercial store had. Think of what was the Port Jefferson Music Den (closed in 2002) where they were the one underground record store that had everything other stores didn’t even come close to carry. I remember summertimes visiting the Massapequa location picking up rare CD singles and imports as well as other rare hard-to-find and ahead-of-release-date CD’s and artists I picked up such as Autechre’s LP5 (1999) and EC8OR’s World Beaters (1998).

And being a fan of print media and graphic design, I also bought stacks of magazines every week. The magazine selection in Huntington was unrivaled, measuring at least several rows of 60-70 feet of anything and everything you could think of: Industrial Nation, Punk Planet, The Wire, Disruptiv, Mass Appeal, Mean, Vice, YRB, and art design magazines like LoDown, as well as hardcore zines Short Fast Loud!, Maximum Rock And Roll, Under The Volcano and other cult magazines I happened to be lucky to pick up (Lisa Carver’s Rollerderby, anyone?). Every month went at least $60.00-$70.00 total on magazines alone.

Yet towards the end of Tower’s presence I didn’t pick up on music as much because just like other buyers, I had to stand back at the higher-than-usual prices for releases. Compared to discount chains like Best Buy and other record stores, it wasn’t unusual to find a new release with no-frills to be priced at $19.99 or even $21.99. DVDs I noticed were priced at times to be five dollars higher than their competitors. Maybe some shoppers felt the same sentiment as I did.

Not only that, the forces of internet piracy and MP3 downloading of recent years proved to be too dominant and powerful to be stopped, and is currently but begrudgingly co-existing with other existing record stores this day and age. Consumers then re-routed the system right to their own bedrooms with no price to pay for their music. These factors, plus incurring debt that led the chain to bankruptcy proved to be too much for them.

Without Tower Records, it was less convenient for me to pick up whatever artist or movie title I wanted right away right after work. When Tower closed down it took a bite out of some of the physical record collecting I had. Yet, only they could have given me these experiences: no more magazines letting me know what the latest art direction was or who was in the spotlight. No more frantically walking around with a huge stack of everything and more in my hands still looking for one more CD. No more back room full of posters, sheet music, jazz, classical, hip-hop, techno, and soul. No more silly Hollywood memorabilia and comic-book fantasy merchandise. No more video games, no more characters hanging out in the store wearing goth, back-pack indie, or hardcore.

No more attitudes from the employees who treated customers like nothing because they felt like it. That was really the only problem I had with Tower Records, mostly in Huntington. The cashiers pointed people out with a huff and puff because they were given more than enough change or money, or how they rang up a transaction without even making an emotion or saying a word. Some stuck female cashiers had that flat out know-it-all act for no apparent reason. Sometimes I even renounced the shop because of its sometimes poor service, but that was not the case in the end as the attitude did improve, thank you.

And no more of where I had my first date with my Peruvian then-girlfriend. I would never forget wandering in that Huntington store looking for the next purchase when she walked in, greeting each other with open arms. We left when a thunderstorm knocked the power out but we returned after dinner and had a fun time, the first of many for months to come. This was also where I met a pretty pale Irish ginger who I later met again into at community college the following year.

What is now left of the record store scene on Long Island? A few of them which existed when Tower crumbled are still around (Cheapo’s, Looney Tunes, Infinity Records) and even new ones popped up (High Fidelity and Record Reserve to naming two). Some opened and either re-located (Record Stop) or said good-bye by the time you read this (Permanent Records and Vinyl Paradise). The majority of shops in total are still around because internet opinion made their case about the lack of quality, esthetics, art, and ritual of having the physical thing that you don’t get from digital or streaming; and the classic ritual and synesthesia of experiencing a record store and handling the format makes the case of cherishing these shops. On the online circuit, some titles are now being released in very limited quantity, mainly in the low thousands or even in the mere hundreds. It’s a huge drop-off from what the millions in print runs used to be. Naming your own price for digital downloads, streaming, or even buying from the label or artist directly is the way to go nowadays.

With my radio show, Omega WUSB, I do most of my music testing at home. My habits have been ruined by MP3s and streams as acquiring music is of very low cost and extremely ubiquitous. After all that, it hasn’t stopped me from going to record stores or celebrating Record Store Day to find breaks, samples, or dollar music to win it all. Yes, I still very much prefer to go out of town to buy music with my money which I support the artists and shops I like. Even to this day, I’ll be very happy spending $200.00-$250.00 on music just to have the artwork, colors, lyrics, pictures, ink, liner notes, credits, barcodes, and the entire release itself, because later on I will turn a profit in style points as time goes by, just like when people are hoarding and sharing their vinyl and cassette collections now.

That November was my last visit to Tower Records ever, a few months after getting a substantial check from a near-fatal car accident. Acquired would be some titles that made my pre-Omega shows and would be part of some personal seasonal mixtapes. Prices were 40% off on music and that was when I decided to go and treat myself. There comes a time when you just can’t wait and risk a good sale on music before they’re gone forever. The total spent on my last ever visit there was $200.00 on music and the Andy Warhol book at $75.00, originally $125.00 (have you ever carried a book so massive and so heavy?) I took my bags worth of music and magazines with me to the trunk of my car, never to return to the Tower Records experience again.

On another note, I’m still friends with M-Ro to this day, a former manager there. He moved on to become a lead of Hicksville’s Utopia further west before becoming a ticket broker at an independent movie house. He once had a show on WUSB and was a major figurehead and darling of the Long Island punk scene. You might also know his brother J-Ro, a master archivist who still has his own show with us and is known as a major record collector by practically everyone on the island.

[smitten-miqitten]

So, idk if you all remember my Butterflies chapter where Era had a spot of intimacy nervousness, but thanks to a certain delightfully enabling Discord server, it now has a much saucier lemon flavored followup. This is obviously not safe for workplace consumption (But I’m not the boss of you. Live your best life).

Ao3 Link

Butterflies Scattered

"I've made you wait so long, I think it's only fair you get to decide how we start."

"You've done nothing of the sort. You just needed time; I was never in any rush."

"You've still been waiting though, haven't you? Is there nothing you've been wanting to do? Nothing in particular, I mean? Any fantasies… or, or… you know." Era stammered, gesturing vaguely as if the action would account for words she wouldn't utter. "I'd like to do that first, really I would."

So she said, but Cid was of the opinion that bending her over the railing of the Excelsior and having his way might be just a tad bit too rough for Era's first time. So he went with his second favorite fantasy, one of the first he'd ever allowed himself of her, in fact.

"Well then, if you insist", he laughed, scooping her up and plopping her down on one of the ship's benches. She landed with an "eep!"; her eyes growing wide to see him kneel at her knees. "You want to do that?" She asked nervously, face flushing as he kissed his way up her thigh, his hands gently parting her hastily squeezed together legs. 

"Very, very much... but it can wait, if you're not comfortable…" Cid noted her furrowed brow and worrying lips.

"No, no, it's not... I want to try, I do… it's just… I can't return the favor." Era sighed, pointing to her teeth, specifically her canines, in response to his puzzled look. "I've been practicing, on...on fruit and the like, but I can't seem to avoid damaging them with my teeth."

 She what?

Cid struggled really, really hard not to laugh. She had been practicing? He was flattered beyond words that she would bother with such a thing for him, truly. But the idea of her doing that to various foods was far too comical an image. Giggling lightly despite his best efforts, he said "My darling, I appreciate the concern but I assure you I'm rather more substantial than fruit."

She flushed to think of his substantiality. "Well, sure, I mean... you're certain I won't hurt you?"

"Short of outright biting me, no, I don't think you will."

"That's… genuinely a relief. I don't like this disparity between us, I really don't. I want to be able to make you happy, Cid.  So no matter how silly or undignified it is, I wanted to at least make an effort."

"Era.." Damnit, how could he keep up his suave act in the face of something that genuine? Cid knew he was like putty in her hands, turning to mush at her heartfelt admissions. He leaned up to kiss her, hoping she could feel the love he bore for her as keenly as he did. "We could always try for a practical lesson later", he murmured against her lips. "Without the fruit."

"Cid~…" Heat radiated off her skin, his flirtations never failing to get a rise. 

At least I’m not the only one turning to mush, he thought. "Only teasing. Though the offer stands..."

She met his lips again to shut him up, clever tongue seeking entrance and being wholeheartedly welcomed. She had grown very adept at this of late, a quick study, kissing him senseless. For a few short moments their roles were reversed, Era holding all the cards, his heart in her hands.   But that wouldn't do. Not for what Cid had planned.  Her breath caught as his hands wandered back downwards, slipping underneath her skirt, fingertips coming to rest at the edge of her undergarments. Giving her a quick peck on the tip of her nose and a cheeky little grin, he followed his hands to his prize.  He would leave the majority of her clothes on for now, while they were on the deck at least; the chill in the Sea of Clouds was fairly biting. He was pleasantly surprised to find she had not worn her customary undershorts, his only obstacle a pair of lovely blue lace pantalettes (clearly worn with him in mind), already quite damp. 

He smoothed his thumb back and forth across her waistband, savoring the feel of warm, soft lace on skin, smile only growing. She had no way of knowing this, of course, and he'd never admit to it, but the skirt she currently wore was the very one that originally inspired this fantasy. It had been the first time he'd seen her wear such a thing, her toned thighs the most glorious display.

"Ready?"

She nodded, hands coming to rest on his shoulders, eyes shut tight and face crimson. Cid, perhaps knowing her too well, mercifully did not leave her much time to stew in her shyness, deftly removing her undergarments and setting to work.

Oh! Ohhhh gods...

His tongue was on her now, moving slowly across her folds, every lap culminating in a little flick at her clit, each one sending what felt like sparks throughout her skin. Era tensed at these new sensations, fingers digging into his shoulders and legs attempting to squeeze shut, ultimately thwarted by his firm hold on her thighs. She could feel…. something building in her lower belly. Something warm, each spark further igniting it, her veins filled with fire. She knew what, of course, but never imagined it to feel... anything quite like this.

 Seven hells…oh Cid...

Her breath came out in small, stuttered gasps, uttering a muted moan as he found his pace, quickening as if in time with her racing heartbeat. It was so quiet she thought he might not have heard, thought (stupidly) that she might escape the sheer embarrassment of it. That is, until she felt him smile.

A hand flew to her mouth to stifle the noise, but her attempts at modesty were fruitless. Without looking up from his task, Cid merely raised one of his own hands in response. Holding it out as if requesting something, fingers waving in a "give it here" motion, he didn't need words to say what he wanted. Hesitantly, begrudgingly, Era placed her offending hand in his, the cacophony of quiet gasps and moans that escaped her now undampened.

Heavens above and hells below, if this was him out of practice she couldn't begin to imagine what she was in for in the future.

Her hand grasped his tightly, the other fisting in his hair as she neared her peak. At least, she thought she must be, the tension in her belly growing stronger and stronger. Cid gave her thigh a little squeeze, a wordless "stay put, please". His touch left her for a moment, only to reappear at the entrance of her core. Gently he inserted a finger, crooking it juuuust so, making her back arch in pleasure. 

He's... trying to loosen it, right? I read about that..I read..ohhhh, I can't! She could feel herself teetering on the edge, an odd image of balancing on a brick wall coming to her mind. She was going to fall. Needed to fall. But it was too soon, he needed to add more for it to work, didn't he? She had to hold on, to be patient, she had… "Cid, I'm sorry, please, I can't...I need...ah!!" Era came with a shudder, body curling around what of him she could reach, clinging to him.

Huh. Her sudden release had caught him off guard, her cry and sharp tug of his hair startling him out of his reverie. So caught up in the act, he hadn't spotted the signs: how firmly she gripped his hand, the rising pitch of her voice, the thrashing of her tail. He hadn't expected Era to be quite so quiet, and assumed he had more time. Not that it matters, he thought, admiring the worn out, blissful woman before him, her glow more than achievement enough.

She relinquished her hold on his hair, a couple strands staying with her, his scalp stinging a bit with the loss. As Cid kissed the inside of her thigh, Era dimly registered how...damp his beard felt. That's strange...wait...oh seven hells. Cid issued a disappointed "tisk" as she buried her face in her hands. 

"There's so much, isn't there?" She cringed at the feel of the cool air on her damp skin. Damp. Urgh….

"Era, no, darling, it's fine." Cid hastily wiped at his mouth and beard, giving her a quick peck on the lips. "See?"

The flavor on his lips was odd, not at all like him. "Oh...do I really taste like that? It's... salty, sort of." 

"You taste fine, better than fine." He chuckled as she peeked out at him through her fingers, a little smile unmistakable.

"I ruined your master plan, Cid. Finished too soon, you only managed one finger before I…"

"My plan, my overly self-conscious sweetheart, was to get you off. Having achieved that -- spectacularly, I might add -- I count nothing as ruined."

Oh you silly, awful, wonderful man, she thought, pulling him into a languid kiss, tongue dancing with his, her taste mingled with his own. "Thank you."

"'Thank you'? For what?" Cid pulled a dumb face utterly ill befitting his genius.

"What? You know what!" She stuck her tongue out at him, his clueless, teasing facade cracking into an easy smile. "Oh no… Cid, the bench is such a mess", Era groaned, sitting up, again hiding her face in her hands. They hadn't thought to lay down a towel or anything.

"Ah, I wouldn't worry about it. Ever since her upgrade, the Excelsior's been overdue for a rechristening", he laughed. "This should serve".

"I'm not a bottle of wine!" Era chided, bapping him on the shoulder in embarrassment.

"Could have fooled me." Cid countered, waggling his eyebrows. "Now, the chill on deck does make what I have planned next rather difficult, what do you say we head below? While I must admit I'm very keen to get you out of those clothes,  I'll not have you freeze in the process."

Era stood, wobbling slightly, steadying herself against his arm. Cid triggered the hatch release, and the pair descended from the chilly deck into the bowels of the Excelsior. Unlatching a portion of the wall, Cid revealed a small foldout cot. He kicked a number of crates and containers underneath it to aid the rather spindly supports, claiming the bed’s legs would not be up to the task. “Not the most comfortable thing in the world I suppose, but you’re the one that picked the Excelsior rather than a proper bed.” Not that Cid would want it any other way.

They set to removing their clothing, or the rest of it, in Era’s case, smalls long since cast aside. Era saw little point in retaining any articles, modesty all but tossed out the window given he’d already become so well acquainted with her most intimate parts, but Cid continued to wear his smalls, perhaps in a gesture to calm her nerves. He also wore his goggles still, which Era proceeded to yank off his head. Damned goofy, to wear goggles during sex, she thought.

Cid was hardly restrained in his appreciation of her form, eyes wandering, drinking in each and every glorious curve. Era too, was guilty, though she tried to be rather more discreet in her admirations, eyes bashfully roaming his glorious musculature. Era adored in particular the fine, silver trail of hair that grew starting at Cid's navel, travelling downwards and downwards. She couldn't help it, it was fascinating. Perhaps it was the unfamiliarity of it, her own body hair, where there was any, being fine and sparse, the vast majority being on her head and tail. Or perhaps it was simply the implication; the thought of where the trail led, and the heat that arose in her loins in the thinking, that had her so enamored with this particular patch of hair.

He scooped her up, laying her on the cot with care, drawing her into an impassioned kiss, stealing her breath and leaving her woozy before moving to nibble at her ears. Okay, this is a good place to start. They had done this before, albeit with more clothing. This was familiar, comfortable: passionate kisses, bodies pressed together, hands roaming faces and shoulders and hips and...oh.  Cid’s fingers caressed the swell of her breast, Era letting out a little gasp of surprise. 

Of anticipation. 

Sensing no opposition, Cid continued, his palm enveloping it, massaging as his thumb began to stroke her now pebbled nipple. 

How heavenly, how...oooh. A familiar want grew, stronger and stronger as he rolled her nipple between his fingers, ever more so as he took its companion in his mouth, his beard soft and smooth and ticklish on her skin. 

 More, please…

As if he were suddenly a mind reader, Cid obliged, free hand finding her clit, small circles driving her wild. He was cognizant of her tells now, working her far more steadily as he dipped a finger inside. First only one, Era still too tense, still too tight, but so very wet. A second soon followed, crooking, hitting a spot that made her squirm, stars erupting behind her eyelids. He quite liked that reaction; Era could feel him grin against her chest as he repeated the move.

She tried to reach for him, barely thinking through her pleasure, fingers tentatively following the path of silver that led to him, wanting to do something, anything more than take. Cid groaned as she grasped him through his smalls, voice heady and deep, losing pace for a moment. Growing bolder, her hand slipped underneath his waistband, stroking the hardness she found there. Era hadn't the faintest idea what the hell she was doing, but surely it had to be something right, if his heavy breaths and muttered oaths were any indication. She hooked a finger underneath his chin, luring him to her, nibbling at his bottom lip.

She was close again, the pressure mounting, the tell-tale teetering feeling returning with force. Pleasure driving her to distraction, her hold on his manhood faltered, Era losing herself in his ministrations as Cid took her hand. But this, this wasn't how she wanted it. She wanted...

Era started to giggle, covering her mouth in an ill attempt to quell her sudden outburst. Cid looked up, his smile one part amused, one part confused, and one part a bit hurt. 

"Era, dear, if you're going to laugh, I do hope you'll tell me what about." He sounded a touch concerned. She patted at his arm reassuringly, wiping the corners of her eyes. 

"It's nothing, I just….hahaha...I just had the most idiotic thought. As lovely as this is, I can't bear for you to stop. And at the same time, I need for you to stop. Isn't that mad? It is, isn't it?"

"I think that depends on what you mean by ‘stop’. Have I done something? Are you uncomfortable?"

"No, no, no. I just...I want to move on. I need... I think I'm ready for the next bit."

Cid grinned deviously with understanding. "Oh? I'm not quite sure what you mean, love. 'Next bit?' I'm afraid you'll need to be a touch more specific."

"Must I? Cid…. I would like to...no, that's too crass, I won't say that. I want…"

"Go on…" Cid was kissing a highly distracting path up her neck to the underside of her jaw, lavishing attention there with teeth and tongue. He shouldn't tease her so, but she really did make it all too easy.

"I want you to...to make love to me." She muttered, shyly leaning away from his fervent affections, breathing heavy.

"Didn't catch that. A little louder, perhaps?" He was going to be in so much trouble later.

"Make love to me, dammit!" She griped, huffy and frustrated. Why must he bully her now?

Cid didn't mind in the slightest, enveloping her in his warm embrace. "As my lady commands", he laughed cheekily. "Perhaps it will be easier for you", he said, sitting up against the curved wall of the ship as best he could, "like this." Cid motioned her forward, pulling her onto his lap. "To give you more control of the pace. Then again, she's not exactly got the roomiest hull. You might bump your head…hmmm."

"If I'm careful", she murmured, leaning in close to kiss him just below his third eye, "it...it should be fine, probably. But I... I think I'd rather you be on top. If you're alright with that."

"Of course." Cid lay her gently down on the cot, hands making their way down her sides to rest at her hips, pulling them flush to his. He bit back a moan at the feel of her against him, wet and ready. 

"It's just... I'm a bit nervous, is all." Her heart was racing, pulse pounding at the feel of his length against her core, small rolls of his hips sending heat throughout, shivers following the path of his lips down her neck. "I...ah!...I can't...mhmph!"

Whatever it was she thought she couldn't do was lost as Cid claimed her lips, intent on drowning out her worries. If she wanted him to take care of her, he'd gladly do so; it was no failing on her part. Afterall, isn't that what she'd asked him to do?

Shy fingers trailed their way to the waistband of his smalls, pausing then tugging lightly. Cid broke their kiss, searching her eyes. "You're sure?" His voice was heavy with lust, undeniably eager to continue. But he had to be certain.

Era nodded, flushed but unashamed. "Please."

Removing them with haste, Cid lined himself up, Era bashfully looking anywhere but down at where they were joining. He kissed her once more, the ferocity easing her nervous mind as he entered.

He was much too large, surely. Or she was much too small. Era couldn't be sure which, and she couldn't bring herself to care with him kissing her so. There was no pain, thankfully his earnest preparations had seen to that, but Cid took her slowly all the same, giving her body a much needed moment to adjust to him. The stretch was the cause of some discomfort, unaccustomed as she was, but soon gave way to the oddest feeling. Fullness, warmth. With every ilm the feeling grew, and grew more pleasant for it. 

"Cid…" she panted, eyes half shut from the overflow of sensation. "Hmmm?" He had hilted, exercising as much restraint as he could muster waiting for her body to relax, his fingers digging into her hips from the effort. "I love you." She took his face in her hands, thumb caressing his lips. "So very much." "Era..." Words failed him. To be here, with her like this after all this time, he wasn't sure if he was more liable to sing or cry. Instead, he decided to show her. Love her in this way, that the depth of his feeling be undeniable. "I love you."

A tentative roll of Era's hips ushered him onward, starting with slow, intentional thrusts, mapping out her pleasure. Though she had little in the way of leverage in this position, Era rose to meet his every thrust admirably, greedy for the contact, savoring the feeling of renewed fullness with each stroke. She wanted so badly to kiss him, to be lost in him, but found it immeasurably difficult to take her eyes off of his beautiful face. He was a sight to behold, her beloved, awash with joy, powerful muscles flexing and glistening with the sheen of their mutual exertion. A curtain of silver shielded them from all the world as Cid rested his forehead on hers, third eye cooler to the touch than his searing skin.

Cid slipped his hand onto the small of her back, arching her ever closer into him, Era's breath catching as his touch grazed the base of her tail, said limb lashing about in answer. Stroking it, Cid found he could coax from her the most delightful whimpers, tenderly caressing the fine silken hairs to call forth even more of her lovely song.

Era, blessedly, was nearing her peak, hands fisting in his hair and clamoring at this back. Cid too, was struggling to hold on. It had been far too long since he had last done this, and she felt far too perfect around him, squeezing tighter and tighter as she neared release. He refused to be first, reaching between them to work her most sensitive spot, leaving her gasping for air. By his touch she was undone, unraveling around him with a soft cry. He followed after her, oaths muttered into the crook of her neck, having resisted longer than he could bear, spilling over into his love. 

Spilling.

And spilling.

… on second thought, he probably should have warned her...

Spent, they separated, fighting for air, basking in the afterglow. Their hands met, holding fast as they came down together. Looking over at Cid, Era thought he looked strangely... sheepish. "Era", he panted, "don't look down. It's nothing bad, there's just, there's a lot of… just let me get you cleaned up." 

A lot of what? She wondered, a odd trickling sensation answering her. Oh…

Cid rose from the cot wearily, utterly exhausted, rummaging through a nearby storage crate for a couple clean cloths and towels.

"No, I can do it myself, really, just hand me the towel!" She squeaked. She hadn't braved a look, but it was beginning to cool and she could feel it. They cleaned up in an abashed silence, Cid helpfully passing her another cloth when one proved insufficient.

"Cid?"

"Yes?"

"Is it always like this?"

"What? Ah... yes. Usually. Unless I've been.....Yes." His cheeks and ears were rather pink now. He nearly... there were some activities he'd prefer to keep to himself for the moment.

"Then I don't mind the mess."

"Oh?"

"It felt nice, frankly. It's a part of you. Also you're blushing."

"Am not." He was.

"Are." A mischievous grin spread across her face, as if it hadn't been she who was the blushing, stuttering mess not moments ago. "Do you think Vanu or Bismark or Sky Pirates will find us in the next bell or so?"

"I shouldn't think so, why?"

"I'd quite like a nap, if you'll join me." She patted at the cot beneath her, a towel laid over the worst of the wet spots.

"Good gods, a nap would be heavenly." He flopped down heavily beside her with a huff, pulling her onto his chest, promptly falling asleep. Era laughed, soon to follow.