#vs. not caring and just going with what you 'know'

[linkcharacter]

Love the difference from how Jimmy rejects the pills aggressively while it’s implied in canon Curly just tries to keep his mouth closed rather than hurt anyone. I also love how Curly thanks Jimmy for letting him help vs Jimmy complaining that he had to in canon despite never really being an asked more than once and talks down to Curly.

It’s an interesting difference in how they both take the duty from Anya where Curly is def trying to salivate her of having to take care of Jimmy due to every pre-crash and the guilt but also because that is his friend still. Just comparing it to Jimmy who only does it cause he needs to feel useful and asserting himself as more capable than Anya.

I know you likely wanna keep it vague or open to interpretation but since Curly acknowledged the pills aren’t doing much for Jimmy do you think he’s genuinely doing it just cause it does something even if little for Jimmy or to ease his mind? Sort of like how the crew mainly gives Curly his pills to keep him quiet and more so how Jimmy does it cause Curly’s sobs def mess with his crippling repressed feelings of guilt.

Very interesting how it differs. Also love how you still didn’t show the actual feeding of the pill

Oh yes the differences :) The whole time I was making the comic the 2nd audio of Jimmy feeding Curly the pills kept spinning in my brain. And yes, I didn't show the actual pill feeding, the game doesn't show it visually, so I didn't think there was a reason to do it here.

You are correct, I would like to keep it vague. It's interesting how you interpreted Curly's comment on the pills as just him thinking they aren't doing much for Jimmy, and I'm not saying it's wrong, but I see (and put) a couple of different meanings for his thoughts' text, all of which are valid, this one included.

As to why Curly gives him the pills, I'd say it can be both reasons at once. Curly does want to help, but he also wants to feel like he's helping. The thing about Curly is that he prioritizes doing what his own sense of righteousness dictates as doing the right thing, whether or not it's a smart or a helpful decision or not. Like how he decided to tell the crew about them losing their jobs. It wasn't a smart nor a productive decision, all it did was make the crew stressed and brought the morale down for the rest of the 8 months they were supposed to haul. But it was what Curly saw as 'what a good person would do', 'what a friend would do', that he "can't keep this form them all" because it gnawed on his conscience. He didn't consider consequences of telling upsetting news to his crew, or if he did, they didn't outweigh the importance to do right by his crew to Curly. To him it was the 'less scummy' way to go about it, the one that didn't leave Curly feeling like a bad person for "deceiving" his friends. But he means well at the end of the day too, he doesn't want his friends to feel betrayed, feel like they've been kept in the dark. He doesn't want to use his special treatment as a Captain while his subordinates are worse off than him.

And here with Jimmy, Curly wants to do his best to ease whatever pain his friend is in, but he also doesn't want to force him into anything because that would make Curly feel like he's undermining Jimmy's autonomy, whether or not Jimmy by himself would make a decision on medical treatment that was 'best for him', and whether or not the pills do jack shit at all. Curly tries to do good by everyone, because he genuinely wants to help and because he feels that doing a helpful thing is what he 'should' do. Curly's a complicated guy and it all comes down to what you personally consider as 'genuine want to help' and whether or not, to you, the actions a person takes matter more than the intentions behind them.

Thank you for your comments, as always very discussion engaging, I love it!!

[hustlemeanokay]

Solavellan vs Dread Rook? When did it become a competition? Ship all the ships, I say.

So as much as people like Solavellan (or whatever they call it) - I don't get why people don't like Solas x Rook. It's all there. It's perfect. The tension, the range, the enemies to lovers trope or hell, just the potential for so much writing to be involved. Like, okay... so okay... I go into my personal opinions about what makes each of their relationships different (just a few opinions not like power point presentation style or anything).

When I first played Inquisition, when it first came out, I naturally picked an elf and unknowingly romanced the bald dude. And Solas' romance is a good one. But it's only good because he leaves Lavellan. It's the first time that's happened to a player character in either DA or ME games. A legit breakup. With, at the time, no real reason! It wasn't until after the game, of course, that we were like "OMG!!!" But on the whole, there really wasn't a lot to their romance if you remember what actually happened in the game. But you have to ignore all the fan fiction and fan art that has been done in the decade since then. Just counting the game itself? Not a lot going on there. A couple of kisses, a couple of talks, and that's about it really.

And the whole time, he wasn't being who he really was. He was playing a part. He was Solas version soft-core, so to speak. Because while he may not have started calling himself the 'Dread Wolf', he very much is that person. Solas is prideful. He is a bit of an asshole. He is cold and calculating. The Solas we see in the memories in Veilguard was already turning into that person so the Solas that meets Lavellan is 100% already there. He uses her. The fact that he falls in love with her has very little to do with him using her, he can compartmentalize like that. As Cole says, it changes everything but it can't. But, point being, Lavellan never really got to know him. He always had a mask on. Was always so careful about what he said and how he said it as to not raise suspicion.

But with Rook? Oh, he's pissed. Gone is his careful way of speaking. Gone is his gentle tone and light smile. Rook gets Solas unfiltered. Solas without a mask. Solas the Dread-fucking-Wolf. There's still parts of him that are recognizable. But on the whole, he's more real. Because he's not worried about pretending to be something he's not. Rook knows what he is. Rook knows he's going to betray them, knows he's going to turn on them, is expecting it. (And Solas' manipulations are painfully transparent, with the exception of Varric). What he's worried about with Rook is keeping their blood-magic link in tact and molding them into someone the prison will accept (still not sure how that worked but w/e). But as far as when he talks to them? Sees them? Rook gets under his skin and he slips up and lets it show. He nearly misspeaks almost immediately and he does misspeak later. Rook does that to him. Because he's not keeping himself at arms length with them, he can't.

So the idea of Solas x Rook? Much more... real, as in 'keepin' it real', than Solavellan to me. Does that mean I have zero fics with Solas x Lavellan? Hell no. I have like at least half a dozen with different Lavellans x Solas. But! What it means is that the relationship between Rook and Solas is very intriguing and compelling and is definently fic-fuel. It means that I already have 2 separate fics WIP for them.

You don't have to stand on either side of this line, you can draw a big circle, stand inside of it and clutch both Solavellan and Dread Rook tightly to your chest with you. I'm not sure why there's this insistence that you have to pick one. You've never had to pick one. That's what having multiple OC's is all about. That's how that works.

[deadhands69]

A New End: Dust

Tomura Shigaraki x Reader

Spoilers: Kamino Ward through Overhaul's Debut Contains: gn/eventual afab reader, angst, canon typical violence, cussing, eventual smut in the series

previous - this is part 3 [series masterlist]

|\/\/\| dust |/\/\/|

A damp concrete floor meets your back. Someone's leg moves under your shoulder before another body lands square on top of you. The warp gate closes, leaving you in this dimly lit place. Everyone scrambles to extricate themselves. You’re still woozy from hitting your head and you think you might throw up. 

In the tangle of limbs, you see Shigaraki’s icy blue hair. In spite of his requests begs to stay and help, he was sent to this rundown building with the rest of you. 

“Is anyone hurt? Get off of me!” yells Twice. 

No one responds, which you take as a good sign. As soon as everyone's up and moving, you begin assessing the situation. 

The old hideout is compromised. 

You can't go back. 

Or maybe you can? Shigaraki's sensei will take care of it, right? 

The air is thick with tension as you all wait for an update, not really sure what you're expecting. Those of you who had phones on you are glued to them. 

It's live on every news site: All Might vs. All For One. Is that who Shigaraki’s master is? You've heard of him, but you can't quite place it. Your head is still pounding. 

“What's going to happen?” Shigaraki's gravelly voice echoes from across the massive warehouse. 

“I-I don't know yet.”

And that’s true. Your decisions and those of the people around you landed you all here. Your quirk always feels selfish, only showing you outcomes you will have an emotional response to. You can't say for sure what will happen to his sensei because you don't know him, but you'd be willing to guess it's not about to change the outcome for any of you. That's not something you're going to say out loud though. 

He senses your unease, probably knowing the implications but he tries to ignore it. 

Minutes later, a new headline flashes across your screens. 

That's it. 

You resign yourself to this new development faster than most of the others, there's nothing any of you can do about it right now. Dabi and Toga adjust quickly as well, you get the feeling both of them have survived a lot of massive changes in life. 

At least you're all wearing somewhat warm clothes. Still, you're glad it's summer and the cool nights aren't too harsh yet. 

Emptying your pockets, you have a phone but no charger. $14 in cash. And a key to the building none of you can safely return to. 

The others are doing the same, minus Dabi who has never seems to have more than a phone on him at any given time. 

Shigaraki is counting his hands. His fully visible face somehow looking both repulsed by them and concerned for their safety. You're not sure what to make of that. 

No one has any medications. It doesn't take your quirk to know that's a recipe for disaster in this group. There are already talks between Dabi and Magne about robbing a pharmacy. 

The shock persists over the next few hours before it's decided you should all try to get some sleep. You lay on the ground near Magne and try to get some rest. 

Instead, the silence only gives you time to overthink. This is the type of situation your boss has you around to prevent, but you couldn't predict the decisions that led here in time to do anything about them. Still, he didn't send you away. Shoving you through the gate to safety instead. In spite of his coldness, he at least cares enough to keep you alive. Or maybe he still just sees your quirk as potentially useful. Regardless of why he did it, you want to thank him, but tonight hasn't felt like the right time.

He's been uncharacteristically quiet, mostly keeping to himself all night. Now, carrying the guilt of being the reason for his master's downfall. You hear him mumbling in the small stints of sleep he does get. How he should have done better. Not gotten caught. If only he'd been there in the last moments of the fight. 

You wish there was something you could say to make him feel better. But no magical words come to mind and morning arrives quickly. 

In the light of dawn, you can see that this is an old factory that's no longer in use. While exploring, you find a bathroom to wash up in but without toiletries or fresh clothes to change into, there's no use. 

As much as you've spent your life trying not to overvalue material objects, you have to admit that you quickly find yourself missing a few things. The hoodie you got at a concert last year. The worn underwear that fit your hips just right. The ticket stub you'd been using as a bookmark for years. Books you haven't finished. Your toothbrush. Anything resembling hygiene or skin care for that matter. 

You can’t replace everything, but you’ll try to find substitutes for some of it. The group comes up with a list and nominates you and Compress to go to the store (the two least recognizable with the most useful combination of quirks for the job.)

Over the next few weeks, life begins to normalize - if you could call it that. With a few adjustments, your makeshift shelter becomes more habitable. You have some time to explore the abandoned buildings nearby. Most of the others resume recruiting new members. And the all too familiar feeling of dread overtakes you once more.

The cold, damp space has taken its toll on everyone’s health. There’s constantly someone coughing, it’s become background noise at this point. The illness has even infected your dreams, filling your half-sleepless nights with visions of a medieval plague doctor. You aren’t the only one who struggles to sleep though.

Prior to this month, you thought you’d gotten to know the league pretty well. At least, during the day. You’ve recently been finding everyone’s tiny habits and schedules are drastically different when you’re all placed in the same cavernous room together. Toga clicks her pen repeatedly while considering what to write next in her heart-covered diary. 

You’re sitting on your thin roll-up bed, trying to read a book you picked up on your last store trip. You’ve been trying to read it for a week now, making it 34 pages from having to go over every paragraph at least three times with the amount of interruptions you’ve encountered.

“Stop clicking,” Magne finally snaps, “I’m trying to *cough* sleep here.”

Everything is silent for a moment, with the exception of the water dripping from the leaky roof. You’ve come to appreciate Magne, the more you’ve gotten to know her. She’s usually pretty laid back but keeps everyone in check when needed. 

Nights are easier. Most of the league is out at night anyways, making it a bit more quiet. Compress always has somewhere important to be. Dabi never gets home before four am. Not that he makes much noise, you’ve surprisingly found him to be one of the more quiet ones.

Shigaraki resumes shuffling around the space. Lately, he’s been doing this every night instead of sleeping. Sometimes he’ll sit near you, not making conversation, just existing. You don’t mind, in spite of his prickly personality having him around is oddly comforting. Plus, as much as you’ve been trying to bury your feelings, he’s been wearing the hands less when it’s just a few of you around and you’re not about to complain about getting to see his face more often.

Like every night, Twice gives everyone who’s still awake a quick wave and flips you off before walking out the door to track down the new recruits he’s mentioned. 

“I get a bad feeling every time he leaves,” you mutter to Shigaraki, whose evening pacing brought him to your corner.

“Just a feeling?” he asks, looking more bored than concerned.

“Yeah, but -”

“I can’t do anything with a feeling. Tell me when it’s less vague,” he says before walking away.

Closing your book, you lay down, resigned. You try to focus on the sound of his steps. The resuming of Toga’s pen clicking. Magne’s echoing coughs. The sound of your own breath. Yet, you still can’t get it out of your head.

What if it’s too late?

The next afternoon, you’re sent out shopping again. This time, by yourself. Even Compress has been getting recognized more often lately, so it's up to you to gather supplies for the group. You walk around the room, collecting small scraps of paper with people’s lists on them. Compress, Spinner, and Magne are the first to finish theirs. Toga’s is bulleted with hearts. Twice scribbled a few things in writing you are still learning to make out. Dabi is curled up on one of the platforms hanging from the rafters, fast asleep. You let him rest, his list is always the same anyways: soba noodles and a bottle of aloe vera.

Taking some cash out of the stack of charred wallets Dabi left by the door when he came home this morning, you glance at Shigaraki to see if he has a list. He never does. Instead, he walks you out.

“Try to get green tea, if you can,” he says as you exit to the almost too bright road, “and ohagi, if they have it anywhere. It’s still early.”

“Yeah, I’ll look,” you say, admiring how nice he looks in the sunlight. “Anything else?”

“Nope,” he responds before turning abruptly and closing the door behind you.

With how far out of town you are, the walk takes a while. The sun is setting when you begin the return, hands now filled with shopping bags. Your fingers are raw from the handles digging into your skin. You’re about five blocks out when you realize the feeling in the pit of your stomach has been getting worse all night. That has to mean something. Quickening your pace, you break into a run.

Suddenly, your vision is clouded and there’s nothing but the plague doctor from your dreams and dust? Something worse. Every bone in your body is aching with grief. It takes all your will to not throw up. The supplies lie forgotten near your feet as you clumsily dial the numbers on your phone through your tear blurred vision. 

Shigaraki. 

Dabi. 

Twice. 

No one answers. You call Magne, only for it to go directly to voicemail without a single ring. Having already seen what that means, you fall to the sidewalk sobbing. 

It’s only September, but the cool night air sends chills across your skin. You should have worn a jacket. Even now, you should walk back to the warehouse. It’s only a few blocks to go, but you don’t have it in you to make it there. Not yet.

A while later, a shadow looms overhead. 

“Get up,” Shigaraki grumbles. “We’ve all had a long night and you need to get out of the cold.” You glare up at him. With a sigh, his shoulders drop. “Come on,” he groans, “let’s talk about it.”

Decaying the door behind you in an instant, he pulls you to your feet and pushes you through the entry. His red eyes peer into yours, waiting for you to say something. 

“I could have stopped that,” you cry, “I told you I had a bad feeling about this.”

He kicks some debris out of the way to walk further into the room.  

“I’m doing my best, but you have to actually listen to me!” you scream, knowing you’re probably taking more out on him than necessary but you can’t find a way to stop yourself. He makes no attempt to quiet you. 

“And you’re always harsher on me than everyone else, why?” you continue. You know you won’t get a satisfying answer out of him, but the words keep spilling out. “Do you hate me or something?”

“Why does it matter?” he spits back at you.

So many thoughts come to mind, most telling you to drop it. But the question still hangs unanswered, taunting you. You know he’ll continue to deflect until you have a solid logical reason.

“My quirk only works for events I have an emotional tie to, it helps to know where I stand with people. It helps me decide what’s relevant,” you say as calmly as you can manage, voice still wavering.

The silence between the two of you is thick. 

“No,” he pauses to consider his next words carefully, “I don’t hate you.”

“Could have fooled me,” you mumble. After another moment of silence, he glares at you then continues.

“I really don’t hate you. It’s - there’s something about you that makes me wish my life was different. And it pisses me off.”

“Oh?” What the fuck does that mean? “You’re here tonight though and you haven’t dusted me, so I guess I don’t piss you off too much.”

“Guess not,” he flinches before shrugging, still not looking directly at you. 

“What exactly do you mean when you say I make you wish your life was different? Did I fuck everything up for you that bad?”

“No,” he swiftly dismisses the idea, hands waving in front of him. “It’s not like that, it’s just…”

He takes a step closer to you, cheeks dusted with a blush you hadn’t noticed until now. At this distance, all you can think about is how amazing his lips look. How easy it would be to lean in and kiss him. Part of you is upset for thinking about something so trivial at a time like this until you realize he’s staring at you the same way. Your vision clouds, but only slightly. Premonitions overlap each other, softly tinting reality like double exposed film. They’re all moving too quickly to catch any of the possibilities, nothing sticks.

“Hey,” Toga’s saccharine sweet voice cuts through the air, “we just came to, uhm, check on you.”

Twice jumps in without thinking, “We heard you arguing from down the street then it got too quiet,” before abruptly adding, “is [y/n] okay??”

Shigaraki groans. “Why does everyone think I’m going to- ugh fucking nevermind,” his fists tightly grip the sleeves of his jacket, sans thumb, as he turns and walks out the door. Quickly, you all follow, finding him pacing on the sidewalk while feverishly scratching his neck. 

Toga and Twice are happy to carry the groceries back while you trail behind.

The back of Shigaraki’s hand bumps your wrist, drawing your attention.

“I wouldn’t do that,” he mumbles under his breath, “just so you know.” It takes a moment to remember what he’s referring to. He has his fingers wrapped in his jacket, hands tucked close to him. For the first time, he looks almost uncomfortable with his quirk.

Suddenly, you realize what he meant when he said you make him wish his life could be different.

a new end masterlist - bnha masterlist

Taglist: @tomuratoucher

[quiet-admirer]

What you wrote about the shift in the online definition of feedism is interesting to me! I was exploring the online scene during that time (2011), too, and I feel a bit the same and a bit opposite. I saw “feedism” being used as a catchall term that folks lumped everything involving eating or gaining weight under. Stuffing and bloating were included under “feedism.” Even vore was occasionally under that umbrella.

I think now I see it as similar to the label of “queer” vs more specific labels within the queer identity. Queer itself can be an identity or an umbrella term. Like feedism can be a kink in its own right, or an umbrella term for other kinks. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry for sitting on this ask for ages, I was trying to find a few sources I *know* I have read with different definitions of fat fetish related terms, and I was curious to look back and them and see what they said. One was an older webpage and one a 2010s-ish? webzine, I believe, with like infographics and everything, but for the fucking life of me I cannot find them!

That's interesting, though! I agree, I have definitely heard feedism used as an umbrella term for as long as I've known it, I just don't think it was as common back in the day in my memory. It was (/is?) my impression that people who weren't as invested in the nitty-gritty of various terms used a looser definition, kind of like people now who don't distinguish between "feedism" and "feederism".

But with all of this kind of stuff I can never tell what might have been representative of the communities at large and what might have been a reflection of the specific slice of the Internet I happened to be exposed to, so who knows. The way feedism was always explained to me when I was learning about it was a feeding dynamic 🤷‍♂️ That's more useful for me personally but I don't make the rules about how other people want to identify, and I've kind of started seeing in the past year or 2 that if I really cared enough to make it a battle it would be a losing one lol, all the youths seem to be using it as an umbrella term to mostly mean weight gain kink at this point. I also may be 100% wrong and just made up the definition in my head without realizing it back in the day and have run with it for years!

I do think that it's worth being very intentional about how terms are defined and used in formal or academically-minded writing about ourselves, though, and making sure we're acknowledging the nuances in how the term is used, and I think my points I made in my reply to the post we're referencing still stand.

I once read a line in a paper or article or something that expressed the opinion that after so much research done on BDSM over the decades on what BDSM, what engaging in fetish dynamics and acts "means", the most solid conclusion that can be drawn is that the BDSM community are the worst people to ask about what BDSM means because nobody fucking knows and there is 0 consensus lol. I imagine it would be similar for our side of the tracks, too, there's a lot of variation and diversity among us.

What I really wish could happen is getting a huge sample of free-text submissions of terminology definitions from people in the fat/feeding/weight gain fetish realms just to see what everyone's similarities and differences were!

(and this is why we need to document and preserve and archive our shit, it sucks that it's so hard to go back and compare how we were defining ourselves in the past!)

[whatremained]

actually keep writing reactions i love reading them

and sorry for responding again. i really like this musical and ... just like talking about it when i can.

with you saying that me reading connor as autistic is a real take, i giggle. i mean i believe it, but i haven't heard many other people read him that way, and it's nice to see someone who agrees. and i do also argue a lot the cast is neurodivergent, and i would say... the main three characters we NEED to be focusing on and thinking about throughout the story (evan, zoe, connor), are all autistic.

though the authors grossly say that evan isn't autistic because "he wants friends…" obviously they don't know what autism is. most autistic people WANT friends, just like how most PEOPLE want friends. we're no different. evan… quite literally is read as autistic, not only to neurotypical people, but also neurodivergent people. (so much so that when i attended the show with my brother who had never seen it before, he turned to me after act one and directly asked if evan was autistic. he is neurodivergent, and it wasn’t an insult by the way he worded it and the way he expressed it. 😭) it REALLY sucks that the writers of the show said shit like that, but it doesn’t change how most of the audience perceives evan.

zoe just reads as autistic to me because of her very set mind and how she views the world. also... zoe can come off as bratty at times! and how she acts can be mistaken for genuine brattiness when she's just... trying to make a point, or say something. ex. her sounding pissed when evan was in connor's room, asking him why he was there. she wasn't hurt or anything, she just wanted to know. but it comes off as very sharp and harsh. she definitely does not understand tone and… i also don’t so yk! zoe's potential autistic-coded being so ignored messes me up. "women getting ignored in the mental health field" quota filled with this musical/book's fandom i guess. good lord, zoe is genuinely such an interesting character, and it pains me that she’s just… ignored all the time. it’s the fact that she’s so obviously a main character. i mean in the playbill, at least the one i have… the way the actors are listed, assumably, is by their status as characters, as in… main lead, and leads. and then supporting cast (as well as understudies & such).

(photo evidence of the listed cast lol)

(touring cast of this year. michael fabisch plays evan, hatty ryan king plays zoe, bre cade plays heidi, caitlin sams plays cynthia, alex pharo plays connor, jeff banks plays larry, gabriel vernon nunag plays jared, makena jackson plays alana… the rest are understudies & the voices we hear when social media posts appear. this… order objectively makes sense for character appearances imo. zoe is… in a bunch of the story and is a very important character. just rambling here though.)

zoe is a character that has a huge story in the show and… she’s ignored because??? idk? she’s a woman? and people in this fandom don’t care about women it seems!

i could go on for HOURS about connor because his symptoms really replicate mine, and it's VERY easy for me to point out, but i'll give my small little rant. from the very start, described by evan in the book, he knew connor from previous classes as children. obviously they were never close, but he saw him in grade school. he describes just knowing connor as basically the kid who… cried a lot. now crying a ton isn’t a neurotypical vs neurodivergent thing. it happens to both kinds of people. but the reason for crying may lead to the realization of “oh! this character might be autistic!”. for connor, as a younger child, we see the cause in one story for why connor may have cried a lot in school. this is the infamous “mrs g” story mentioned in the musical. he cried and got angry because he wasn’t line leader that day, mostly because of the fact he WAS supposed to be line leader that day, and the fact he wasn’t subverted his expectations. for a lot of autistic people, and for me, when things don’t go routinely, they tend to get upset. it’s smart to assume the crying would come from that, feeling overwhelmed day after day.

honest to god; i was going to type a lot more after this but i have about no energy to. my shortest explanation is read the book, connor’s parts. explains a LOT on why i think he’s autistic. i could probably tell you more later but i don’t want this ramble to sit in my drafts for five weeks so.

i also see how people could argue that alana & jared are autistic, but there’s the fact that we don’t really get to hear from them as characters all that much, so we can’t full determine it from there.

but alana i will go out and say, yes, she probably has autism. like her character really reads as autistic person trying their hardest to mask but kind of just… failing somewhat?

jared…? idk. he’s… i could care less man. i don’t want to analyze that asshole more than i have to. i can see the point people try and make with jared, and i can go “sure! yeah!” but. i don’t want to talk about him. he’s the bane of my existence i swear.

anyways yeah that was my little autism ramble i. am so sick and tired of typing rn 🙏

[zorlok-if]

Ima have to set Tommy up with a life long road map cause as we all know financial stability and worldly knowledge are really cool in this day and age

He would greatly appreciate that.

I just hope your Z could come up with something practical and applicable to the modern world rather than something like: "kill a noble and usurp their title and land" or "become inhumanly skilled at hunting and earn the respect—nay, worship—of a small village." (/kidding, mostly)

[skateboardtotheheart]

there is just something about the difference between edwin's love interests and having the cat king's reaction to edwin in hell being "i'll be waiting when he gets back" vs charles "no version of this where i don't come get you" rowland convincing a powerful trans-dimensional being to open a door to hell just so he could get him back

i am insane

[nicorobinphd]

stg, being an enjoyer of jane twdg is like being forced into an expert-level course on the way misogyny manifests in video game spaces.

god forbid a woman be complex or difficult or provably mischaracterized (see tags) at the end of her arc to service the culmination of a man’s storyline.

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

20/10 stars little guy

[miscgallery]

relationship web of the 7 sillies that are occupying my brain's storage space

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

I think fans want Jason to be a good person or be becoming one. To have a character that is well meaning and compassionate but decided murder is ok and to stand against main heroes who’s beliefs and actions go against the people he cares about and wants in his life. It’s confusing for people. People want their fav characters to be happy. But Jason can’t have his family’s support and follow his moral code. He’s cares about people and Gotham, and he’s an asshole who kills. It’s messy. It’s not black and white. I don’t even think Jason cares about being a good person or in the right anymore. I think he cares about what will save the most people instead.

Oh my goodness gracious I’ve been bamboozled

Batman’s definition of Good is not synonymous with absolute good/right no matter how much dc insists it is. Torture, battery/assault, surveillance, those are all condemnable actions too. I won’t get into the exhausting and frankly dumb debate of comic book morality wrt killing because I’ve already reblogged plenty of posts from other people who explained my thoughts on the matter far better than I ever have the patience to sit down and articulate. I also just think the notion that there’s something to be done about fictional characters who kill nazis and senseless murderers is stupid. Jason’s point is that the “main” heroes’ sanitized definition of right has its unaddressed holes and flaws which ultimately result in more preventable fatalities, and that he’ll work to correct those missing spots.

He doesn’t not care about doing what’s right. What he doesn’t care about (at least during his Winick characterization) is whether Batman thinks he’s right or wrong, because he sees the flaws in Batman’s methodology (and since he has a mind of his own). Batman’s methods alone cannot address Arkham’s revolving door and the rogues that come and go through those doors who have no intention (or capability from the doylist pov) of ever changing or undergoing redemption. Jason knows that he’s minimizing the number of preventable deaths by killing his targets, typically Characters Who Simply Do Fucked Up Shit Just Because, Why The Fuck Not?

Secondly, Jason is compassionate … to a fault. That was his fatal flaw. If he wasn’t so hell-bent on saving his potential birth mother he just met from that bomb despite everything she did to him prior, he could have protected himself instead, however slim his odds of survival were. What about his relationship with his other parents? He was a caregiver during his early childhood years for Catherine, until her death. Even mature adults who are financially stable find being a caregiver to a dying parent to be extremely burdensome on their bodies and minds, but he never complained about it or resented Catherine for being unable to care for him. Despite how none of his parents have really been what he needed them to be, he doesn’t blame them for their failings, and even continues to think highly of them (Bruce included).

And post-death? Enter Lost Days. Despite being dead set on plotting his revenge on Bruce, he constantly sidelines this in order to save other victims who are helpless like he once was. His own anger, trauma, and mission don’t remain his priority. (Sound familiar? Something something my own trauma above my son’s, mission above all else, etc.). Why would he waste precious time and risk his own life to do this if he wasn’t empathetic towards these victims or didn’t care about doing the right thing. He is simultaneously horribly traumatized and full of rage, and also incapable of ignoring what’s happening to victims around him (even as he claims that it’s indeed not his priority). And in that same vein, the entire premise of his rebirth outlaws run was that he doesn’t care if the public views him as a villain, an outlaw, so long as he can protect Gotham. And anyway where is this portrayal of him not caring about being in the right anymore. Almost every modern Jason story is about him grappling with where he stands with Bruce/Batman. During the early 2000s was probably the last time he did not care (hello, tentatodd??).

Jason has very evidently been portrayed as a kind and compassionate character. He is also simultaneously a calculated killer who doesn’t hesitate to kill when he deems necessary, and does so without remorse. It’s called being a Complex Character With An Edge™ that as you said, people so often claim to love. However when he fulfills that latter part, that seems to upset people because “killing bad”, and they then try to shave off and round out all his edges and claim he shouldn’t be that angry. In that case I guess you should just stick to liking traditional one-dimensional characters instead of claiming to like Jason but then encouraging his character assassination attempt by dc. Lol.

Lastly, who said anything about the batfam making Jason happy? Just because he’s written nowadays to want acceptance from Bruce (a shoddy attempt at forcing a non-existent nuclear batfamily), doesn’t mean that it’s a sound decision or that it does his character justice. I certainly don’t empathize with the idea that Jason needs the family’s approval or acceptance to be happy. (And anyway he has enough outlets for angst and pain aside from the batfam hello explore his other sources of trauma and do more deep dives into how he thinks when he’s alone). I don’t want them to magically make up and become one big happy family. This is not disney Lol. Besides, there are plenty of stories from dc that have that type of “wholesome” (hate that word utilization) characterization for Jason (Li’l Gotham, Tiny Titans, wfa, and even new stuff like the brave and the bold mini) and that is sufficient imo. Jason fans who are invested in the character deserve accurate, nuanced characterization and well-written stories, whether they be from his robin days (e.g., Batman: The Cult) or as red hood.

[knifekris]

every day i struggle to make choices

[fingertipsmp3]

Maybe I did this to myself but it does irk me when people see me knitting and they ask who it’s for and I say it’s for me and the immediate reaction is “you should sell it” yeah… let me spend at least a week’s worth of my free time making an item I like, want, and would wear just to sell it on etsy, making at most a £2 profit on materials and not being compensated for my time whatsoever 👍🏻

[player1064]

carraville core beliefs (aka things I am Always keeping in mind when writing them)

Gary:

always busy. always talking. genuinely one of the most annoying people alive. his friends often mute him on whatsapp

easily bribed with chocolate

too rich to have any concept of what things should cost or how anything works

has a Type and that type is tall muscular men

related to his type: likes to be Held. (make of that what you will)

was in love with becks when they were young and everyone who knows him knows this

Jamie:

very much a lads lad and so probably a bit of a bastard but unconsciously acts soft around Gary

loud and over the top especially when he's joking around. VERY touchy-feely but only with people he's comfortable with

does not like sweets. does not like coffee.

loves a paycheck

doesn't have a type he's just insane about Gary. so insane about him that he doesnt necessarily have to actually like men at all to like HIM

completely utterly whipped

as a pair:

always the most insane people in any room they're in and always the most intense

bullying is their love language and they're suspicious if they're being nice to each other

genuinely stupidly fond of each other. what was it I said the other day they just delight each other so much

the reason they delight each other/click so well is BECAUSE they're always the two most insane people in any room they're in

everything is a competition and once they're together they STAY together bc they are both determined to Win at their relationship

[foulfeast]

Ohhhh i now remember why i got shy about talking abt ocs

24/7 fear that someone will tell me my ideas are cliche/stupid/bad in some other and it will hurt more bc these are my own creations and not just fun and play

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

see its the same issue i have with genloss and horror. and not to bring up genloss again and get a wave of people blocking me for it. but like. its the same issue! i understand that dsmp was a lot of peoples first fandom experience and naturally this will bleed through into the tangentially related medias. but like. its SO painfully obvious a lot of people have just. Never Actually Experienced any better movies/shows/books. and its really sad! bc theres so many awesome things out there and its just upsetting to see people place these mediocre 20-somethings men on pedestals expecting perfection from them because they will ALWAYS be disappointed. genuinely in the nicest possible way i can say this. some of you just need to go read a book written by a woman. or watch an ap show run by queer folks. go listen to spirits or pale blue pod who are run by really smart really funny professional women. go read the murderbot diaries which explores identity in a way i have genuinely never experienced before in a piece of fiction and includes crazy awesome sci-fi action and environments and also uses neopronouns in a way that is so nonchalant and casual that i didnt even notice them at first. if youre set on youtubers/streamers. go watch holly hollowtones or penny snapcube who are extremely funny and talented and creative trans women and have equally as funny and creative friend groups. like. theres so many better things out there.