#voldemort is a ding dong

[rudamaruda520]

31 october 1981

*ding dong*

James: *opens the door and sees a dark figure* Oh, gee whiz Pete- what an amazing voldemort's costume you've got here!

Peter: I know, right? I've been working on it the whole night!

THE END.

[nebulablakemurphy]

Through Love And By Love (Pt. 6)

Summary: Twenty-Two years ago, Draco Malfoy used the imperius curse to slow Voldemort’s rise to power. No good deed goes unpunished. Warning: this series contains mature subject matter surrounding use of the imperius curse, reader discretion advised.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Rosanna and Draco hadn't give much thought to co sleeping, before Leo was born. They thought, Draco in particular, that babies sleep in a crib; and nowhere else. But somehow, night after night, the baby finds her way into their bed. They use the proper spells, to make sure the little girl is safe while they sleep. She likes to be held and rocked against his chest. More over, she likes to use Rosanna as a human pacifier.

Draco wakes with a grin, rubbing sleep from his eyes. The morning sun peeks in, casting rays across the sheets and the infant beside him.

Draco stretches the arm that was under his pillow, over to card Ro's strawberry blonde locks. She looks peaceful, rested; still glowing in her own right.

She cracks open one eye to peek at him. "Creep."

"Can't a man admire his wife?" Draco scoffs.

"I’m not your wife." Rosanna says, smartly.

"Yet," He raises his brows, "you're not my wife, yet."

"We need to start planning, if you want to be married anytime soon." Ro nuzzles against her pillow.

"We could do a small ceremony," Draco traces the slope of her nose with his finger, "just us and a few witnesses."

"Draco Malfoy wants a small wedding?" She shakes her head, in disbelief.

"I want you," his eyes flicker to her plush lips, "the rest is unimportant to me."

"If we wait a year or two she can be our flower girl." Rosanna moves her gaze to Leo, stroking her white blonde hair.

"That's a thought." He chuckles, "although, I'm not sure I can wait."

"Impatient as ever, Mr. Malfoy." She feels Leo stir between them.

"Did Mummy wake you?" Draco asks, softly rolling the babe onto her back.

Leo grasps onto his nose as he leans closer. Her brown eyes barely open as she yawns.

"Don't let Daddy fool you,” Rosanna whispers to her daughter, “it's his fault."

————————————————————————

The little family is sitting in the living room, as rain pours over the windows. Curled up together watching television. A strange muggle contraption, gifted to them by Rosanna's grandmother.

Narcissa and Lucius are off on holiday, giving the young couple space, after their granddaughter's first weeks of life. Archer and Dixie stayed the first fourteen days as well. Everyone got along, both sets of grandparents rallying around their children to make sure they're settled, before finally stepping back.

Draco jumps at the sound of the doorbell, jostling Rosanna.

She giggles, "you're cute."

"I'll give you cute, you cheeky little-"

Ding Dong, the bell sounds again.

"Who the devil is carrying on like that?" He untangled himself from their shared blanket, making for the door on the first floor.

Rosanna stands, waiting for an update on the identity of their visitor.

"It's for you." Draco calls up to the sitting room.

"For me?" Rosanna moves toward the stairs. Leo now awake in the cradle of her arms.

Arthur, Molly, Fred, George, Ron and Ginny, along with Harry and Hermione, stand at the opposite end of the staircase.

"My savior," Fred trots up first, patting her head.

"Mum made tacos," George adds, following his brother.

"Yes, and gifts for baby." Molly smiles, drawing Rosanna in for a hug.

"You didn't have to-"

"Oh pish posh." Molly pulls away.

One by one the Weasleys fill the room.

"How are you, dear?" Arthur asks, clapping Rosanna on the back.

"Good, thanks." Ro is still surprised to see them, and here no less. "What are you all doing here?"

"Your mum sent an owl." Harry explains, they hold each other for a long moment, mindful of the baby in her arms.

"It's so good to see you." Rosanna kisses his cheek as they break apart.

"Not every day one of your best mates has a baby, you should have figured we'd turn up." Ron shrugs, moving to take Harry's place.

Hermione is last, both of them in tears when they finally meet in the middle.

"I know it's hard for you to be here, after the last time..." After Bellatrix.

"Don't worry," Hermione rubs circles against Rosanna's back, "I'm ok. We all are, somehow."

"Where can we set up? We've brought the works." Ginny asks, both hands full.

"Let me show you the dining room." Rosanna dries her eyes, waving them to follow.

"Massive house, not very homey." Ron says, no filter, ever.

"Don't be rude, Ronald." Hermione jerks the hand she's holding.

"Are they-" Rosanna turns to Harry with an arched brow.

"Brilliant, isn't it?" He confirms, following her down the hallway. "Where'd Malfoy run off to?"

"Don't tell me the bloke's too posh for tacos." Ron scoffs.

"You really think I'd procreate with someone who doesn't like tacos?" Rosanna shifts Leo in her arms. "I'll go grab him."

"Oi, the little darling can stay with us." Arthur suggests.

"Yeah don't hog her, no one's had a proper go yet." Ginny agrees, helping set up the massive table. The places are always done to perfection, although Rosanna has never eaten a meal there, until now.

"Who wants to-"

"Right here," Molly smiles, reaching for Leo gently, holding the babe close to her chest. "Look at those cheeks, my goodness."

"And all that hair," Hermione leans over, for a better look.

"Malfoy must be pleased." Harry remarks, with a slight smile.

Ginny elbows him, "she's lovely."

"I'll be right back," Rosanna hesitates near the doorway.

"Go on," Fred whispers, the only one to notice her nervousness, "she's with family."

————————————————————————

Rosanna eventually finds Draco in the library, sat in the high back leather chair, near the window.

"Hey, what happened?" She asks, leaning heavily against the door frame.

Draco doesn't look up from his book. "You wouldn't understand. You’d find common interest with any creature that crosses your path. Me? I'm Draco Malfoy, death eater."

"We all have things we're not proud of." The blonde sighs, pushing wayward hair behind her ears.

"I'm used to having things, objects, possessions, that are mine. You don't belong to me, I don't own you. It's very difficult for me, infuriating even." He turns a page, although he's not paying attention in the least.

"Will you stop pretending to read and talk to me?" Rosanna takes a step forward.

"I'm not pretending." He scoffs, indignantly.

"Ok," she rolls her eyes, crouching down and setting the book aside. "Wanna tell me what's really bothering you?" Rosanna squeezes his knees.

Draco’s icy gaze flickers up to the hair tie, holding the top portion her locks up. He scowls, adjusting the band. "I’d forgotten how unnerving it is to share you."

Rosanna chuckles, "I know that back at school, every time they’d walk into a room you'd walk out. But now, you can set the tone for how things are gonna be moving forward." She leans her elbows against his thighs. "So you can stay up here, if you want; or you can come back down stairs with me and have dinner, talk, maybe you'll even have a good time. Either way, I still love you. Either way when they leave, I'm still here with you.”

Where you go, I go. “Can’t very well say no to tacos."

————————————————————————

When they return downstairs, there are new faces around the table. Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy and Blaise, all sit looking mildly uncomfortable amongst Rosanna's friends.

"I hope you don't mind," Ginny says, "we heard them at the bell."

Rosanna forces a grin. "The more the merrier."

"What are you doing here?" Draco narrows his eyes at the four.

"Your parents sent an owl." Blaise shrugs.

"My parents?" Draco's brows furrow, why invite them all at the same time, knowing full well they don't get on?

"Yeah." Crabbe nods, eyeing the food that has yet to be served.

"Alright then." Draco takes his seat at the table.

"It'll be fine." Rosanna leans over to whisper, running a hand over his tense back as she sits aside him.

Draco is dressed down, sporting a black v-neck tee, and dark wash jeans. However his hair is still set to perfection, force of habit really.

Rosanna is a bit more comfortable, in an oversized quidditch jersey and leggings.

"She's got your hair." Pansy tells Draco. A tone of annoyance about her, as they are not the first, or only, guests.

"Never fancied babies, myself," Goyle notes, "they cry too much."

"Yeah, why's it being so quiet?" Crabbe tentatively looks toward the infant.

"She doesn’t cry much." Draco sniffs, missing the tiny baby in his arms.

"Is this right?" Harry asks Ginny, cradling Leo in his arms, nervously.

"I don't think you can do it wrong, mate." George chuckles.

"Unless you drop her." Fred chimes in.

"Hurt my daughter, and you're done for, Potter." Draco grimaces.

Rosanna swats the back of his head, some things never change.

"Shut it, Malfoy." Ron barks, "he's doing fine."

"Pansy and I brought this," Blaise extends the parcel to Draco.

"Thanks." Draco turns his nose up at the pair.

Blaise nods. "Now Potter, let's see the little bird." He rises to his feet.

"Have you ever held a baby?" Pansy puts a hand on his arm.

"If Potter can do it, so can I." Blaise reasons, making his way around the table.

They each have their fill of holding Leo, before the infant begins to fuss. Rosanna nursing her, beneath the knitted pink blanket, the Weasleys gifted.

"These tacos-" Crabbe breaks off, mouth stuffed, pointing both hands at his plate, "are fantastic."

"My Molly makes them from scratch." Arthur replies, fondly.

Crabbe gives a thumbs up, "well done."

"You sure it can breathe under there?" Goyle flicks his fork to indicate the blanket.

"She, not it, you imbecile." Draco replies, sneaking a quick glance beneath the fabric. Leo has never been fed beneath a cover, so he has to be sure. "She's breathing just fine."

"So tell me Draco, how's fatherhood treating you?" Arthur asks, taking a swig of his drink.

"I'd like to think I'm doing a decent job. But generally speaking, I'm useless; because I haven't got any-" Draco let's his hands drop to his lap, realizing he's been making the crudest gesture to represent breasts.

"Bazingas." The twins offer in unison.

"Exactly." Draco huffs a laugh.

"No matter, surely you've been changing your fair share of nappies." Mrs. Weasley says. "It's all about team work."

"And what about you sweetheart?" Mr. Weasley inquires. "Good labor?"

"Once I got the potion, it was pretty easy." Ro nods, stealing a second dollop of sour cream.

"Terrifying, really." Ron swallows.

"Hopefully everything rights itself," Harry scratches the back of his neck.

"Shall we have dessert then?" Molly asks, trying to save Ro anymore embarrassment.

"Yes please," Pansy nearly shoots out of her chair at the opportunity to switch gears.

"Cherry pie should do the trick." Mrs. Weasley moves quickly to her feet.

"On second thought-" Pansy averts her eyes.

"Oh bloody hell." Ron looks like he might be sick.

"Literally." The twins again in unison.

————————————————————————

A month later, things have begun to settle. Just in time for Draco to be served with papers to stand trial. He's not alone, Lucius and Narcissa are facing their own legal troubles.

"You'll likely be summoned by the ministry, to testify against me-"

"Against you?" Surely Rosanna's heard him wrong. Attempting to read the parchment over his shoulder.

He can't look at her as he hands the document over.

She skims it, 'use of memory altering charms, providing unauthorized access to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, attempted murder of Albus Dumbledore, abduction by means of the imperius curse and false imprisonment by means of the imperius curse.’

Rosanna clears her throat, taking a seat aside of him on the loveseat. "We have a month before the court proceedings. If we start building your case now-"

"I've done all the things I'm accused of." Draco cuts her off.

"Yes, but I think the reason why is equally important. We were trying to stop Voldemort." She reminds him.

"There's no we Rosanna, I did this!" Draco roars, in frustration. "I took your memories, I made you leave Hogwarts. I held you here. You conceived, and carried our daughter for five months, without choice. I deserve to rot in Azkaban for what I did to you alone.”

"It was my idea.” Her heart shatters. “Everything you did, was for me."

The corner of his mouth twitches, "does it then follow, that my actions are any less deplorable? What I've done to you is unforgivable."

"No, it's not." She takes his hands with conviction. "We were trying to do the right thing. I never meant for you get hurt."

————————————————————————

For simple trials, the officers of the court vote on scene, by a show of hands. This particular case requires more deliberation. Rosanna is asked to leave the room, Draco joins her in the waiting area just outside. He's hunched forward slightly, staring down at his shoes in his perfectly tailored suit.

Rosanna in a similarly colored knee length dress. Without a word she takes a seat on the bench, pulling Draco into her arms. Stroking his hair until she feels him relax into her.

"No matter what happens, I'm with you." She assures him. "I love you, we'll make this right. I'll never stop fighting for you."

"No," he pulls back, holding her face in his hands. "If I get sentenced to Azkaban, you have to let me go. Swear to me." Draco insists, his blue eyes shining with tears.

"I can't."

"You deserve a life. You deserve happiness and someone who can be there for you. You saw what the dementors did to my father, he was never himself, even after he left that place. I don't want you to see me like that. I don't want Leo to see me." He breaks off to collect himself. "You tell her that I love her, everyday. Tell her that I wanted to be there. Tell her that I'm sorry."

"You can tell her yourself." Rosanna replies, fiercely. Before kissing him, attempting, for the first time to push her stream of consciousness into his mind.

It must work, when they break apart, he looks astonished at her feelings for him. He is at peace, in this moment with her.

"If you ever start to lose yourself, remember this, remember me. Remember that I love you, and that I'll never stop." Ro wishes she could offer him more than that.

In the end, the case is dismissed. For reasons of: Draco Malfoy's age at the time of his actions, extenuating circumstance, and the unwillingness of the only surviving victim to press charges.

Draco is still in shock, frozen in the center of the courtroom. He can hear Rosanna's voice at his ear, as she wraps her arms around his neck, with such force he stumbles backwards. His shaky hands find their way to her, fisting in the material at the back of her black dress. Pressing her closer to him, knowing he'll never let go.

Part 7

[myrammmortal]

Chapter 39, either the writing has gotten better or this is the hacker chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own the HP series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.

AN// I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.

And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, the American retail wearing british-german vampire Sue, coughed up blood.

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."

Satan sobbed. "I love you Paul Darkness Omnipotentia Brick Face Landers."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

Frau Schneider suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers' lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Daddy Till, Mcgoogle, and every single gothic person she could think of. It was a long, long, long, long, long, list. Still not sure why her parents old neighbours were here.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN//I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened. EN: thank goodness because I don't want to know) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Richard and Frau Schneider fled the scene and got married.

Meanwhile...

Down in hell, Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion.

And then it occured to her...

For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers supressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it. Every polo more preppy and pink than the last.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here.

Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers slit her writs and mumbled to herself, "Omigod."

/End Crap Fic.

AN// Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it tomorrow

Editors Note: Thank you to whoever added the smallest bit of sanity to my perfect hell. I wish the whole "story" would've ended here but then again, I can't live without Daddy Till, Evil Twin of Flake, Sometimes Flake, Frau Schneider, Oliver Who Was Once Named Navel, Richard and Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers.

[skynetgilesbie]

Chapter 39: I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz

Note from ChatGPT user: I am posting the hack content separate from the contents of the document manager. And chatGPT removed the chapter title, but i added it back in

Disclaimer: The following chapter was written as a trolling attempt and does not reflect the original author's intentions or the quality of the story.

AN// I am an extremely immature, pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I cracked this girl's password for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble, which I probably deserve because I'm being a troll right now. Meh.

And I present to you my crappy part in this story. (And take note, I haven't even finished reading this fic yet but instead skipped over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, the American retail-wearing British vampire Sue, coughed up blood.

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do to fulfill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."

Satan sobbed. "I love you, Ebony."

"I love you too. I'll... I'll see you in hell," I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

Bloody Mary Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and every single gothic person she could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround Ebony's body. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly, and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late. The Sue became nothing more than a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and was temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN// I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gothic power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong, the Sue is dead...' Well, that is until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon-like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione fled the scene and got married.

Meanwhile...

Down in hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down at her pale body and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion.

And then it occurred to her...

For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said "Live Your Life" written all over the bag.

Ebony suppressed the urge to scream. Here she was, decked out in clothes preppy to the extreme, wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo. Ebony frowned and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocritical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here.

Ebony slit her wrists and mumbled to herself, "Omigod."

/End Crap Fic.

AN// Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it here:

[Original content intentionally omitted]

[highqueenofelfhame]

the entire world celebrating biden’s election win is literally like in harry potter when word spread that voldemort was dead following his attempt to murder baby harry.

[amorremanet]

day 8,794: I love the whole idea of using math to show how, by the end of DH, Voldemort has less than 1% of his own soul in his body (it’s about 0.78% of a soul), and frankly, it could have been great and almost redeemed how he is otherwise one of the most painfully stupid villains ever…… except for how somebody (Joanne) didn’t put it in the books or apparently think of it at all (aside from the, “blah blah, increasingly dehumanized, blah blah, that is why he looks fuck ugly” thing), and instead just let everyone run with the idea that all Tom’s Horcruxes would be equally powerful (which is really glaring in the case of Hermione, because of all the characters on Team Harry, she should have gone, “wait, that does not add up” because she loves logic and math [arithmancy] almost as much as she loves going to the library)

[fanartyfan]

ding dong!, it’s over!

[keijislove]

Happiness: Harry Potter X Muggle!Reader

Ding dong

The bell at Number Four, Privet Drive rang.

‘Boy, scurry off!’ Petunia growled at Harry; afraid he would do something to the person who was at the door.

Harry hid inside his old broom cupboard.

Even after spending two whole years at Hogwarts, and about to start his third, the Dursleys never let him come and see whoever was at their door.

It’s not like I’d stun them, Harry gloomily thought. I’ve got better things to do.

In truth, he really hadn’t.

Which is why he peeked through the small crack in the door to see who was there.

Petunia opened the door.

‘Er, yes?’ Harry heard her say.

‘Mrs. Dursley, good afternoon!’ a voice spoke.

The voice was gentle and sweet, a great variation from the Dursleys’ harsh, barking tones towards Harry.

It was the voice of a girl; one he did not know.

‘How may I help you dear?’ Petunia smiled.

‘Er, well, Dudley took my maths book yesterday, and I-I have a test coming up day after, so could you please ask him to lend it back?’ the voice asked.

‘Of course.’ Petunia smiled. ‘Come in, dear.’

That was when Harry finally saw the owner of the calming voice.

It was you.

Looking ever so beautiful and elegant with a halo of politeness surrounding you.

Petunia went upstairs to retrieve your book.

He did not know why exactly, but Harry felt like he had to talk to you.

He had to.

And if he didn’t, then the chance would be lost forever.

He walked out of the cupboard.

‘Oh!’ you exclaimed in surprise.

‘Er, sorry.’ He muttered, feeling foolish.

‘No, no... quite alright... I’m Y/N. Y/N L/N. you are?’ you asked, holding out your hand.

‘Harry. Harry Potter.’ He said, shaking your hand.

You frowned slightly. ‘Potter... I’ve heard that before... you’re Dudley’s cousin, aren’t you?’ you asked.

‘Er, yeah.’ Harry awkwardly said.

For a moment, a small flash of fear took over your face, but you tried your best to hide it.

Harry noticed it anyway.

He felt anger bubbling up inside him.

‘I don’t go to St. Brutus’ if that’s what’s scaring you.’ He said with more venom than intended.

You looked positively nonplussed. ‘Oh? Oh dear, I’m terribly sorry. It’s just that... Dudley says such awful things about you... I’d started thinking you were a mad hooligan!’

‘Dudley says a lot of things that aren’t true. For instance, he beat up a toddler and told me he’d won a boxing match.’ Harry shook his head.

You giggled slightly.

‘So... you’re his friend, then?’ Harry asked.

You looked down. ‘Uhm... well, no. I’m afraid he’s not very nice to me. I don’t think he likes me much.’

Harry felt yet another wish to strangle his cousin.

‘Why’d you lend him your book, then?’ he asked in confusion.

You sighed. ‘I didn’t. He took it from me when we were out during recess.’

‘Prat.’ Harry muttered.

When they heard Petunia’s footsteps, Harry jumped back inside the broom cupboard.

She was wiping fake tears, mumbling.

‘Diddykins, always such a gentleman. Asking for a girl’s book so politely.’ She mumbled.

You had to look away in order to roll your eyes.

-------------

Needless to say, you and Harry became friends since that day.

The Dursleys would always kick him out, and this used to annoy him, but now he had somewhere to go, so he used to leave without a word.

You two would meet up in the nearby playground and do one of the things Harry considered a big privilege.

You’d talk.

Nothing in particular, you’d sit on the swings and just talk.

Harry deeply wished he could tell you about Hogwarts, how Voldemort was a huge threat to his existence, but what would you think?

You’d call him mad.

You still followed the same routine.

You’d talk, everyday you’d talk and talk and one day he would leave, leave you behind, lonely.

Things however, changed quick after that.

He had just gotten home from third year, and was spending the summer there.

You had met up as usual, and he’d excitedly told you how his best friend, Ron Weasley, had invited him to stay over that Sunday for the rest of the vacation.

‘Oh... you’re leaving so soon?’ you had asked, and Harry thought he had heard the slightest bit of sadness in your voice, but that couldn’t be.

You wouldn’t be sad if he left, he wasn’t even on your priority list.

Which is what he thought.

To you, Harry was that cute boy whom you could consider one of your closest (and only) friends.

So, upon hearing that piece of news, you were jealous of this Weasley person.

No, that wouldn’t be right. You thought. He’s been at that school for three years; you’ve just met him. Why would he want to stay because of you?

You had been lonely that summer, and when Harry came back, it was unusual.

When he came back from his fourth year, he was a mess.

He’d jump at the slightest things, like a cat or a stray dog, and would hyperventilate a lot.

One day, he’d had a particularly bad panic attack.

You were on your swings, as usual, when Harry started rolling around on the floor, clutching his head.

You had gotten used to this, so you crouched next to him.

‘Ssh, Harry, breathe.’ You’d soothingly whisper. ‘Focus on your breathing, take deep breaths. Yes, that’s better, isn’t it?’

Harry was more grateful to you than he could have been.

Despite you not knowing the reason his scar hurt, you didn’t poke in further.

You left it at that and helped him whenever he needed help the most.

Your heart sank when Dudley’s gang came marching.

You hurriedly propped Harry up on the swing, before sitting down yourself.

‘Come on a date with a girlfriend, have you?’ Dudley sneered at Harry, his mates laughing loudly.

Yet another surge of anger passed through Harry’s body. ‘Beat up another ten year old, Dudley?’

‘This one deserved it.’ Dudley nonchalantly replied.

‘Five against one... that’s nice.’ Harry snapped.

Dudley’s lips curled over his teeth in a snarl. ‘At least I’m not afraid of my pillow! Don’t think I don’t hear you moaning in your sleep!’

A muscle was jumping in Harry’s jaw.

‘Leave it.’ You whispered.

‘Oh, don’t kill Cedric!’ Dudley mocked. ‘Who is Cedric, your boyfriend?’

More laughter issued as you held onto Harry tighter.

‘Mum, he’s gonna kill him!’ Dudley went on. ‘Where is your mum? Where is your mum, Potter? Is she dead? Is she dead?!’

You had released Harry; however, it was not him who went up to Dudley.

‘Pathetic!’ you snarled in his face. ‘What do you think you’re playing at, joking about his mother’s death? Absolutely pathetic!’

Dudley had given you a half smile, gesturing to his friend.

One of the boys held you and slammed you against the roundabout, making you hit your head as you groaned.

Harry jumped up and pointed his wand right at Dudley.

It was at that moment, that the skies darkened, as if a storm was ahead.

In mid-summer.

You and Harry walked home, Dudley following behind.

Suddenly, you felt cold.

Not because of the lack of warmth, but because it became really, really cold.

You heard a scream as your vision darkened.

Harry choked for air as a Dementor held him in place, desperately searching for his wand.

He saw you collapse to the floor, panting heavily.

With great effort, Harry grabbed his wand and managed to croak out.

‘EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!’

A silver stag rose out of Harry’s wand tip and fought off the Dementor holding him in place, before heading to you.

The Dementor instantly dropped you, almost scowling, which it would have done if it had no face, and glided out of the alleyway.

Dudley looked sick, but Harry didn’t care.

He rushed to your side immediately.

‘Oh my god, oh my god, cloaks.’ You whispered. ‘Cold air, c-cloaks, I saw my father die... all o-over a-again and i-it was so c-cold, all over...’

Harry shushed you, smiling understandingly at your rambling, disgusted at whoever sent those stupid Dementors to harm somebody as innocent as you.

---------------

‘So... he’s a wizard.’ You clarified, looking at the batty woman whose living room you were sprawled across.

‘And a ruddy good one at that, I mean, a corporeal Patronus at his age-’ she said.

‘Mrs. Figg.’ You interrupted. ‘He’s... he’s going to come back next summer, isn’t he?’

‘Of course, dear, whyever not?’ she looked at you as though you’d gone mad.

‘Those things... Dementors, as you said... were they trying to harm Harry?’ you tentatively asked.

‘Yes dear, sadly, yes.’ Mrs. Figg distractedly muttered. ‘Mundungus Fletcher, when I get my hands on that little squat again, I swear!’

You were trembling.

Something was after Harry, something terrible.

And you were in no power to help him.

----------------

‘Is something the matter?’ you asked, trying hard to keep a straight face.

‘Have you ever tried macaroons; I reckon they’re brilliant.’ Harry mumbled, ignoring you.

You rolled your eyes. ‘Harry.’

Sighing, Harry looked at you. ‘Hm?’

‘What’s wrong?’ you repeated.

‘Nothing.’

Lies.

‘Harry, something is very much wrong, and you know it.’ You disapprovingly said. ‘What is it?’

Harry sighed. ‘Its just... he’s growing stronger, you know. I... I fear there might be a day where I go to Hogwarts and never come back.’

Your heart sank into your stomach.

‘Its... cmon, Harry.’ You spoke. ‘We can’t... if you think like that, then, you’re not going to fight very well, are you? I’ll have you know, I am always here for you, and I have absolutely no intentions of letting whoever kills you live in peace.’

Harry chuckled at your scathing threats.

‘I’m gonna miss you, Y/N/N.’ Harry mumbled, intertwining your fingers with his.

You sighed. ‘I’ll miss you too Harry.’

More than you can imagine.

-----------------

‘Harry Potter, open this door!’ you screamed, banging furiously, not caring it was raining and you were sopping wet.

‘Harry, I swear, I WILL BREAK THIS DOOR!’ you yelled, ripping your throat raw.

The door hesitantly opened, as a certain boy stood before you.

Choking an enormous sob, you pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.

Sobbing into his shoulder, you melted into his touch.

‘Ssh Y/N, ssh.’ He mumbled soothingly.

‘Harry Potter.’ You croaked. ‘You had best returned from this war ALIVE.’

‘I’ll try Y/N/N.’ Harry whispered. ‘I’ll try.’

Your sobs were growing uncontrollable, and Harry did the only thing he could think of to shut you up.

He kissed you.

Slowly and carefully, his lips took in your own, as you melted into the kiss.

Not caring about the salty tears you could taste, you gently stroked his cheek.

When you pulled apart, you sniffed. ‘Good luck, Harry.

----------------

The rain beat down on your house heavily, as you sat near your window.

Something was wrong, you could sense it.

He’s alive... God, no, he’s alive, please.

Each thought, each dream, showed you endless ways Harry would be dying.

You hated it.

After many days of crying, a knock on your door made you jump.

‘Y/N!’

That voice.

That amazing voice.

Trembling, you opened the door, seeing a messy haired Harry standing there, tears painting his face.

‘My God.’ You gasped. ‘You’re alive. Oh, Harry!’

After yet-another hug, Harry came inside.

‘I reckon I should’ve made this more special.’ He said seriously. ‘But I can not wait any longer.’

You watched, confused, as Harry took your hands.

‘Y/N L/N, the moment you came into my life, I have felt nothing but pure happiness. I love you with all my heart. Will you marry me?’

You gasped, hand flying to your mouth.

Sobbing harder, you hugged him.

‘Yes.’

[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

Draco Falling in love if you were in Gryffindor Pt2

Warnings: Swearing. Angst.

You were there for the last trial and some anxiety just fucking hit you like a bus

Something was wrong. You knew this and you tried to voice that.

Draco could tell you were nervous for your two friends that were in this

Most of the trial was spent trying to calm you down, Fred and George also trying to distract you

That's when Harry came back and you stood up and saw it

"No." You whimpered.

Draco couldn't see what made you react like that until he realized that Harry was on top of Cedric.

You buried your face in Draco's jacket and just sobbed

Fred and George couldn't believe this happened.

Hermione and Ron watched as Mad eye Moody walked away with Harry sobbing

You were left to hear Cedric's poor father screaming over his dead son's body.

The next few days were hard

No one dared to separate you and Draco.

Which finding him asleep on the couch with you in his arms in the Gryffindor common room was now a regular occurrence.

Mcgonagall never questioned shit.

You helped Harry through his grieving and he helped you with yours.

You spent the summer again with the Weasleys

Fred and George's business was surprisingly well

Something strange happened though.

Mid-day, all of you were sitting around having lunch and there was a knock on the door.

Draco was standing there with this shocked look.

"Draco? Sweetie what's wrong?" Molly asked.

"I've uhm..." He walked in and ran a hand over his face. "I've been disowned." He said making everyone stand up.

"What!?" You asked.

"My uhm.. my family called me a blood traitor for being with you and uh..." Draco blinked a few times.

"They disowned me." He repeated.

"Good lord!" Arthur gasped and you hugged him.

"You've got us Draco... We're not going anywhere." Fred said putting a hand on his shoulder.

"If I see Lucius in public can I kick his balls?" Ginny asked making everyone turn to her.

"What? I'm just saying! A swift kick to the--"

"OKAYYY GINNY!" Molly said putting a hand over her daughter's mouth making you all laugh.

Draco stayed with all of the Weasley's too.

Molly found him sitting outside one night and she sat next him.

"Are you alright?" Molly asked.

"Couldn't sleep. I give Y/n so much crap about staying up late but I'm the one who can't sleep." He chuckled.

Molly put a hand on his shoulder and he sighed.

"We love you Draco. Just the way you are and we wouldn't change a single thing about you. You're not a blood traitor." Molly said.

Draco hugged Molly and she gained a son that day.

The school year started with Umbridge.

That damn woman and cats. What the fuck was with her and cats!?

You hated that woman more than anything and when Fred and George pulled a bunch of fireworks out you were like "Right on!"

Course when they were expelled it pissed you off more than you could possibly say.

For some reason Draco was loved by this woman though and he used that to his advantage.

When he found out about her hurting Harry you actually had to restrain him from killing her.

When centaurs took her you wouldn't stop smiling.

You kept singing "ding dong the bitch is gone" and everyone couldn't stop laughing.

Draco's parents did try to convince him to leave you and come back home to which he responded with a simple "No. Fuck off."

You guys joined the order

You stood by Harry every step of the way and when Arthur nearly died Draco was pissed.

Like he had some murderous rage in him

You all worked with Harry and Sirius though

Sirius actually loved Draco

Like yeah, the kid's dad is an unbearable asshole but damn this kid's got a spark!

Draco actually thought Sirius was awesome too.

When he found out the two of them were related they were like "Hey! Disowned buddies!"

But everything came to a screeching halt when you helped Harry

and ended up in that battle.

Shit hit the fan and of course Draco's father was there.

It all happened so quickly, flashes of light going by you as Tonks tried to get you and Draco to safety.

Then you heard it.

Bellatrix's killing curse.

You turned around and saw Sirius stumble and your heart dropped.

You broke away from Tonks, sprinting to Harry.

You had to pull him back as he let out this hauntingly sad scream.

When you finally got out of there Harry was of course having a meltdown.

Draco was there for him though listening to it all

It was almost hard to believe that Draco hated him at one point.

Draco made him laugh at one point

"Did you see my father's face when the thing actually broke though? I think he almost cried"

Harry was glad he had this guy as a friend

The school year was of course hard on Harry

Ron could see the poor guy's mental state just deteriorating

Draco no longer had to worry about things getting back to his parents, so you bet your ass Harry sat at that table every fucking day.

"Wait wait wait. You're telling me that his cane is also his wand?" You asked about Lucius's cane.

"Yeah he pulled out at the ministry, that's why he carried it with him? I always figured it was because he was a pompous ass who wanted to look official." Harry said making you all laugh.

When Albus died all of you were in this state of shock

Like holy shit this is bad.

Like it was bad before but now it's bad.

When Snape took over Draco genuinely could not tell if he was evil or not.

He was literally the only one in the group who was automatically like "He's evil dude"

You guys didn't realize how bad this would get until you had to bust into Bellatrix's vault

You were more of a look out of sorts

And uhm

All of you ended up at the Manor.

"Seriously, is your dad goth or just a fan of black?" You asked.

"Personally I think he takes the whole evil thing too seriously." Luna said.

"See Luna gets it." You said.

Then they chose a prisoner... Or two.

They figured the quickest way for information was to ask Draco while hurting you.

And boy it almost worked

You screamed bloody murder as she carved into your arm

He had to restrained by two people as you screamed.

Even Lucius thought this was too extreme, for fucks sake you were children.

Harry finally got free though and you all left

You were crying like crazy, you couldn't catch your breath as Draco held you.

The two of you were so scared then and damn it only got worse as that final battle approached.

You told your family to run and do not fucking look back and they did

Molly hated seeing you come home that day

You looked so exhausted and you just hugged her crying.

Fred and George both hated seeing you like this.

I mean: yes you spent your past few years here in the burrow but damn it that was your family.

You finally got to that battle

You fought strong and hard the whole time

Any death eaters near you or your friends went down in seconds

Draco saw Fred in danger and saved his life.

"You just saved my life!" Fred panted.

"Anything for a friend." Draco said also out of breath.

"We're not friends Draco." Fred breathed. "Sorry I--" "We're brothers." He finished.

And damn it Draco fought even harder because the Weasleys became his family.

When Ginny and Molly were in trouble he was not having that shit.

"GET AWAY FROM MY MOTHER YOU PRAT!" he said before fucking destroying her.

Molly managed to find a smile in such a tense situation.

Ginny also thought "This guys an asshole. But he's my brother so it's fine."

You and Draco fought together at one point against his parents

Oh God Draco was a wreck as he was arguing with his father.

"YOU COULD'VE BEEN WITH US! YOU COULD'VE HAD THE WORLD WHY DIDN'T YOU WANT THIS!?" Lucius screamed as he threw attacks.

"I JUST WANTED YOU TO FUCKING LOVE ME!" Draco answered, knocking Lucius on his feet.

"Go. Don't you ever show your face again!" Draco told him.

And Lucius booked it with his mother.

Then the battle reached a halt when Harry was dead.

Draco took it hard, burying his face in your shoulder as Hagrid held Harry.

Hermione and Ron both couldn't believe this was happening. This was their best friend.

You listened to Neville's big "Fuck you" to voldemort before noticing Harry's leg twitch.

You touched Draco's shoulder and Harry finally fell out of Hagrid's arms and Draco grabbed the wand and threw it to Harry

The battle was so bright it looked like the light from it was fucking melting

And then Harry won

It was over.

Everyone was cheering until their throats gave out

You hugged Draco and the Weasleys hugged you guys.

When you finally let go Draco let out a laugh.

"Y/n I have a question." He finally said.

"What is it?" You asked.

"Will you marry me?" He asked.

Everyone in your vicinity went dead silent before you said

"YES YOU IDIOT!"

Your wedding was awesome by the way

Molly made the cake

Later down the road you had kids

And you spent every holiday at the Burrow because the kids loved their grandparents

Course they also loved their uncles who gave them free stuff from their shop.

Everytime you went to King's cross you and the group would get dinner together.

You became a journalist, Draco worked at the ministry alongside Arthur

You absolutely loved the people sitting at the table.

Because damn it: This was family.

And it wasn't going anywhere.

[read-4-life]

Hp Headcanon

Headcanon that after Harry defeated Voldemort (the second time) the witches and wizards again run around the muggle world, yelling with glee. Eventually, Aunt Petunia sees a young wizard on the street chanting, “Voldemort is dead!”

Aunt Petunia marches up to him and asks, “Harry. Is Harry alive?”

His eyes become wide with surprise, but he still answers her, “Harry Potter? Of course he is! Who did you think defeated Voldemort?” And with that, he disapparates.

A tear trickles down Aunt Petunia’s cheek, because no matter how much she tried to push him away, she was glad a part of her sister still existed.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

I hate Cursed Child so much, but I can't help but feel like it had *some* worth as a story... And as of late I've been repeatedly overcome with the urge to try to write a better story for Delphi... One where she was raised in a far better environment, because I feel like she had potential to be a far more fun and interesting character if she'd just had a better life...

The concept of Delphi is not a terrible one by itself. 

It would be difficult as hell to have it realistically happen, because Voldemort...not only could he not love, but he was planning to be immortal. To go on forever. He would have no need for an heir, and probably wouldn’t want one because he’d see them as competition. The most likely situation is Delphi being an accident, but even then I find myself doubting that Voldemort would have any interest in sex. Sure, Bellatrix would give herself to him in a heartbeat, but I feel like he’d have more important things to do. Then again...he apparently told Barty Crouch Jr all about his father. He crossed that personal line. It could be that Voldemort was aware that Barty was projecting onto him as a father figure, and fed that instinct to seal Barty’s undying loyalty. And he might have done the same thing with Bellatrix. Okay, Delphi’s existence can be justified.

The main thing about her that I didn’t like was that she was just a one-dimensional wannabe Death Eater. She was heartlessly evil, and while it was cool to see another secret villain, I could have lived without her flirting with a fourteen year old boy. I said before that Voldemort wouldn’t want an heir, and Delphi is deluding herself if she thinks that the “Augurey” would be a thing. Even if she genuinely had no intention of taking the spotlight, Voldemort wouldn’t trust that and he wouldn’t care. He would kill her. Seriously, they could have done something so interesting with Delphi, tied it in with the themes of Scorpius and Albus trying to deal with their family’s legacies. But instead they just made her evil because she was Voldemort’s daughter. That’s morally ignorant, and it’s fucking boring. 

I’ve been playing with this idea too, if it wasn’t obvious. A fix-it fic for Cursed Child, because you’re right, the story did have some worth. Scorpius’ character in particular, and his bond with Albus. I thought Albus was a decent character too. There were a handful of really good scenes in there. The bedroom scene with the old blanket, despite being a Chekhov's Gun for something really stupid...it got emotional. Hell, I don’t even mind the “Sometimes I wish you weren’t my son.” Line. Everybody hates that line with a passion...I don’t. This is Harry James Potter we’re talking about. He nearly killed Draco with an untested combat spell. He is nothing if not impulsive. I can believe he’d say that to Albus. I don’t believe he would mean it, but he would totally say it. Seriously, the way he treated McGonagall bothered me way more. 

I think I know how to fix Delphi.

Concept: It’s the first war. Yes, the first war. Voldemort is gathering more and more followers. Saying what he needs to say, to secure their loyalty. Discovering what buttons he needs to press, and they pressing them. Preying on Snape’s loneliness. On Barty Crouch’s daddy issues. And he realizes that the quickest way to keep Bellatrix starry-eyed is to let her believe he “loves” her. So he sleeps with her. Ding dong, there’s a baby at the door. This baby is not Delphi. But Bellatrix lets everyone believe it’s her husband’s child. But before she can tell Voldemort the truth, he meets his downfall at Godric’s Hollow. Not long after, the Lestranges are arrested, and little baby Jane Doe becomes a Ward of the Ministry, eventually adopted out to...the Diggorys. She grows up calling Cedric “cousin.” At some point, she discovers the truth about her heritage, and eventually has a daughter of her own. She names her daughter Delphi, and Delphi is born in the same year as Albus, Rose, and Scorpius. 

So let’s look at what’s changed - Delphi is now Voldemort’s grandchild. Admit it, that one little thing makes it sound so much less ridiculous than “Voldemort’s daughter.”  which sounds like it’s straight out of a bad fanfic. Delphi is now in Albus’ year. This allows her to parallel better with him and Scorpius. I still prefer Scorbus, but there’s something to be said for a romance between Harry’s child, and Voldemort’s grandchild. That’s an interesting take, and now it can happen without being god damn pedophilia. (Seriously I know Delphi was just manipulating him but it was still predatory behavior, what the hell.) Instead of being insane and thinking it’s her destiny to bring Voldemort back, she can wrestle with her identity and if she believes there was any merit to what Voldemort wanted. At no point is the idea of him actually returning ever discussed, because his role in this story is over, god damn it. She wouldn’t be the villain, neither would her mother - let’s call her Aquilla because it sounds cool. But Aquilla and Delphi could reconnect the same way Harry and Draco reconnect with their sons. Delphi, Albus, and Scorpius could literally be a silver trio. As for who is the villain? I dunno, it’s not especially important. Could be Theodore Nott I guess? As long as it isn’t someone resurrected though bloody time travel. 

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 21-25

almost halfway done lads how we feelin'

episode 21: the red glow

ah yes barry

"i'm alphonse elric!!!!!" yes u r baby!!!

who just popped over the wall

scar im assuming

"i kill therefore i am".....barry spouting descartes rn

it was scar haha

um

hi greed

thought i saw you earlier

WHY DID THEY DRAW HIS ARMS THAT LONG

ope he found the chimera crew...

jerry jewell's evil laugh gets me every time lmao he's so great

ed has deep philosophical talks bro

also ed is chaotic but his personal morals are unshakeable

who are these prison guards gonna release

oh hey kimblee

oh hey squad

ed take out ur pokeball

um wth is that

OH MY GOD TUCKER WHAT

EW

I THOUGHT IT WAS A GIANT YODA OR A SWAMP MONSTER

he looks FUCKKEDDDD

bro of all the things i was not expecting him

oof ishval flashbacks

young scar why is your hair brown

why is it white now

WHY IS HE NAKED

whos her

lust 1.0 im assuming

ew omg tucker is literally so fuckin nasty lookin idk

idk why but he's worse than rod reiss titan for me

wait a damn minute

wait a damn fucking minute

goddamnit

what is GOIN ON

i need tucker to stop whispering he sounds like fucking voldemort on the back of quirrells head

jesus

episode 22: created human

hughes' pajamas look like armin's futon from aot junior high

the bad place???? was that greed's prison gluttony was lookin at?

im still shook af over tucker and tbh its been like 24 hours since i watched episode 21

STOP WHISPERING TUCKER

driving me up a wall

my poor son looks so tired :(

those moral principles at it again

bradley.......

ewww the way tucker walks STOP

hi envy!!!!!

so all of those prisoner guys gonna get flattened by some alchemy

hey kimblee!!!

so did greed escape with the homies???? cause i feel like he would have made his presence known already....

i feel like im missing a lot because im a ding dong

musty prison kimblee is kinda...hot....physically speaking..oops..personality wise obviously there's MUCH to work on

so envy knows hohenheim

ED BABY

he won't do it

oh no alphonse

oh god memory implants

al's identity crisis CONTINUES

they wanna become humans??? huh....doesnt really make sense for their characters...(maybe envy but more on that at 11)

is ed gonna kill these guys for al

some1!!!!!! hold!!!!! me!!!! im so stressed

is he pretending to do it and he's got another plan up his sleeve!!!!????

honestly he's so depressed i cant even tell

those unshakable moral principles at work again i see

the red water can turn ed into a god???? wtf ed doesnt want to be a god he wants to punch god

oh theres the greed squad! i found them!!! is kimblee joining up with them

maria girly!!!!!!!

THE HOMUNCULI IN THEIR STUPID UNIFORMS I--

who's the lady. i need 2 know.

episode 23: fullmetal heart

alphonse is destroyed again

poor kid

"edward sir" brosh pls!!!

oh excuse me--- ***Bloch

The Ross Slap™

winry <3

pinako takes no prisoners

ed didnt you JUST tell brosh and ross they might be right that you needed to trust adults with more shit and now youre blowing off hughes

ed's DRAWINGS im-

hi sig hi izumi!!!

al is so sad over there in that corner

poor baby son

sometimes i feel like hughes and mustang are ed and al's divorced dads

the little arakawa avatar cows in the back im CRYING!!!!!!!

“bean”

snappy al

ooffffffff

omg hughes plz

elicia is precious though we love her

"dad's friend the bookworm" omg sheska

awwww gracia made edward a cake!!!!!!!

god catch me cryin in the club

CONGRATULATIONS

"whatever" al im crying he's so sad

AL MADE BROSH OR WHOEVER CARRY HIS DESTROYED ARMOR TO THE ROOF IM ACTUALLY YELLING

"you goof"

yes winry you are correct boy is a goof

sir you are being so dramatic

give that baby a hug

"so called brother"

so we all know that was a knife through the heart for ed

al just jumped off a FUCKING ROOF and ED TRIED TO FOLLOW

so im crying

i liked this better when they HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT AL'S FEARS AND MADE THE FUCK UP

episode 24: bonding memories

guess we're gonna play w my emotions again

sometimes like....one bit characters talk...like villager b ya know? and im like who are you i know that voice

so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again

and barry for some reason

aww poor al

youre real you are!!!!!!

i just feel like people would know people that wear sunglasses in the rain would be ishvalan

but what do i know

obviously they dont have the white hair thing in this version

poor ed is so sad

these boys need a hug 

let me just *pulls out adoption papers*

well if scar doesnt have queen mei to adopt in 03, he’s got this little toothless boy

dont lie al you do care

ew i dont like her

the drama of this boy

so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again part 2

apparently they are *mercenaries??? excuse me

i have some questions regarding this kid’s mom

well you know i can see why this kid feels this way about his mom

it does look like she ran off...

al and scar dream team up

HEY ED!!! HEY WINRY!!!

bout time

yall gonna have this talk now????

barry STOPPPPPP

brotherhood barry is the true king there i said it

damn scar you baddie

barry like....you already knew him

anyway

WHAT THE HELL

NO RICKKK!!!!!!

someone save this boy!!!!

oh good his mom “saved” him

ah damn thats pretty tragic

she didnt know they were right in front of her

ow

well my questions were answered

so she attacks with grape fanta. thats one way to do it

ed looks like such an angry gremlin right now this is a heartwarming moment sir please

why are ed and scar being so civil right now this is so weird

bye scar

we’ll see him again

see you later scar

episode 25: words of farewell

maes who let you buy that awful pink suit 

gracia please it better not have been you

mustang ew please

dont open the door lookin like that

what the hell are you doing in here 

so hughes WASNT in ishval here?

i think that takes a lot away from his character but anyway

bradley hangs around like a creep at every possible instant

why would bradley care about ishvalan refugees like hughes cmon

“unspeakable crimes” BRADLEY YOU LITERALLY CANNOT TALK

juliet douglas is this lady’s name

only took me 1000 episodes to figure that out

ED AND AL??? NOT DEALING WITH DANGEROUS THINGS??????? dont make me laugh assholes theyre lying thru their teeth

izumi time lets go

wow we’re still going to rush valley? wasnt really expecting that tbh

elicia i LOVE you!!!!!

ew kimblee “hi”

how did he lightning himself like that

if i were ishvalan i would not go to the south....yet ANOTHER war torn region of amestris but ok

okay

an amestrian desert biker gang rolled up to wreak havoc

HUGHES AHAHAHA 

tbh i wouldnt want to tell roy anything either stupid bitch

anyway

um why do i feel like its hughes’ death episode

he would not be shown tucking elicia in to bed otherwise 

please im not ready to be hurt again

oh no

yeah he just learned something about our girl juliet

ive been waiting for this information 

he’s gonna die before we learn anything helpful

yupppppp

hey lust figured you’d show up sooner or later

i too wish i could look that sexy pulling a kunai out of my forehead

SLOTH????????

did girly just say SLOTH

i- nothing about her seems particularly slothy but ok

u know what!!!!!!!!!!!!

ENVY HEYYY

DUMBASS ROY JUST HAAAAAD TO LEAVE

haha famous last words

oof it hurts every time

not the FUNERAL scene no!

time for me to go 

peace out homies im dead inside

yes my brigadier general 

NOT THE RAIN

COME ONNNNNN

hughes is sneezing six feet under

was ed supposed to be looking at hughes’ ghost

um....right

[the-witches-son]

I'm a real ding-dong, i just now realised that the spell Harry used to defeat Voldemort was a spell taught to him by Severus Snape ☆

Like, I've always known "haha, harry's signature spell was one that snape taught him," but i didn't connect the dots.

[magicalwardrobe-mw]

There Are Stars In Your Eyes: 3- Ding, Dong, The Dark Lord is dead

Summary:  Walburga Black hadn’t expected yet another pregnancy so late in life. Sirius and Regulus loved their sister to death anyway.

Rating: T (because I’m a bit paranoid).

You can also find it from the beginnin on AO3 or FF. And the Tumblr masterpost.

Ding, Dong, The Dark Lord Is Dead.

“What are you going to do now?”

Regulus looked up from the newspaper and blinked at his little sister. They were in the living room of his house, Regulus in the armchair and Cassia sprawled on the sofa. The book she was reading rested against her stomach as she eyed him with curiosity.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“The Dark Lord is gone,” said Cassia. “So we don’t have to hide here anymore, do we?”

Regulus folded the newspaper and sat up straight in the armchair. “I guess? The Dark Lord might be gone but most of his followers are still around.”

Since the death of their father Regulus had taken his sister into the protection of his house. He had offered the same deal to his mother, but she had refused to leave society. So they had cut themselves off from the world. Including their mother and Sirius, with whom Cassia had still been talking until then.

The two siblings had spent over two years in the house, almost never leaving. Regulus had taken up most of her education since they couldn’t tell Miss Dahlia and Mrs. Pyrites their new location.

“What are you reading now?” he asked trying to divert the conversation.

Cassia was the one in charge of sneaking into the nearest town, a muggle one, and shop while Regulus had, at last, learnt how to cook. Most of Cassia’s new books, in fact, came from one of the muggle bookshops. A fact that didn’t make Regulus very happy.

Cassia looked down at her book. “The Hobbit,” she said. “It’s an adventure and fantasy book. There’s dwarves and elves and a wizard,” she smiled. “It’s good.”

Regulus pressed his lips together. “It’s a muggle one, isn’t it?”

Cassia nodded. “Sometimes muggles make the best stories,” she said. “When are we going back home?” she added.

"You're not going to give this up, are you?" Regulus sighed.

"I just don't understand why we can't go back home," Cassia pouted. "I miss my bedroom. And Mother and Kreacher,"

Regulus couldn't explain his nine-year-old sister about how he was afraid of going back to that house. How he felt the guilt of their father's death would crush him if he even stepped a foot into the place. How he dreaded their mother's blaming stares and disappointed looks (it was ironic that Sirius had become the man their mother wanted while Regulus, who had been so close, now couldn't be further away).

"There's first a lot of things we have to do," he said. "A lot of people know that I'm a Death Eater and I have to clean my name. We have to add security to the house so nobody can get to us. I even have to get a job!"

Cassia huffed but kept her mouth shut. After a few moments of silence, when Regulus had already gone back to his newspaper, she spoke again.

"Can we get Miss Dahlia back?" she asked vulnerably. "I've missed her."

Regulus face dropped. "Of course we can!" he exclaimed softly. "I'm sure she has missed you too."

And Cassia's smile made going to that wretched place completely worth it.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

Some days before her eleventh birthday a big owl landed in the middle of the kitchen table while she was having breakfast.

Mother was already out, doing who knows what at Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy's house. Regulus had only lasted a couple of days in the house before going back to the Reef. He was working as a journalist on the Daily Prophet (though he had plans of starting his own newspaper) and Cassia usually spent the weekends at his place.

Since she was alone she had decided to eat in the kitchen with Kreacher keeping her company. As she did each meal she was left alone.

"An owl!" exclaimed Cassia with excitement. "And here it says it for me!" She bit her lip and looked at the house elf with wide eyes. "Do you think it's my Hogwarts letter?"

Kreacher shrugged. "The Mistress will only know if she opens the letter."

Cassia tore the envelope and squealed when her eyes found the Hogwarts crest. "It is!" she beamed. "It is! It's my Hogwarts letter! I'm going to Hogwarts!" she danced around the room with the letter held up high.

“Congratulations, Little Mistress,” the elf told her sounding a little bit sad.

Cassia knelt on the floor to hug him. “Oh, I will miss you, too, Kreek. I almost don’t want to go, but Hogwarts…” her voice was yearning.

“What does the Mistress wants to do to celebrate this?”

Her eyes shone. “Can we go to the Alley?”

He hesitated. “The Mistress knows she can’t go to the Alley alone.”

“I won’t be alone, I’ll be with you.”

He grabbed his ears. “Master Regulus will be so angry if he finds out. And the Mistress… No, Kreacher cannot do this.”

“Come on, Kreek,” she pouted. “No one else is here and I need to celebrate now. I have all this happiness inside I feel like I’m going to burst if I don’t do something.”

The elf sighed in the defeat.

 On the two years since He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s defeat, the Magical World seemed to have crawled out of the shadows. Diagon Alley was cheery, with people happily looking through the shops and a feeling of calmness in the air.

“FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!”

Well, mostly.

Regulus didn’t let Cassia go to Diagon Alley all that much. It was like he wanted to protect her from the stares and mutters of the people. As if she didn’t already know.

Cassia knew her family has been on the losing side of the war. She knew they all thought muggles were inferiors and they, purebloods, superiors. She even knew that her brother Sirius, who had been on the other side at first, turned cloak in the end and now was in Azkaban with their cousin.

Regulus always told her he believed Sirius had only joined Voldemort to protect the Potters, or maybe to even spy for the Order, but it had backfired terribly.

“He never believed in the pureblood superiority,” he had told her wrinkling his nose, as if believing him stupid for denying such an obvious thing. “And he loved James Potter like a, well, more than a brother. He would have never betrayed him.”

He still faced some prejudice. A couple of months after the war ended he went willingly to the Ministry and demanded a trial. “I became a Death Eater but I quit. They killed my father for it. I never killed anyone but still…I’m here to face the consequences of my actions.”

They sent him to Azkaban for two months (one for each year you’ve been on his service) and he came back pale, shaking, awfully thin and with emptiness on his eyes. It was only thanks to Cassia that he didn’t spiral into madness.

Cassia looked like a Black. With wavy black hair, grey eyes, high cheekbones and aristocratic face, she fit the part. She knew when people saw her they only thought «Look! There goes the mass-murderer’s sister», «Did you know her whole family has been in Azkaban?» or «Who knows what kind of Dark Magic they’ve taught her?». They didn’t see a girl, they saw a Black.

So that was why she wanted to sneak in, without anyone looking at her like she had murdered their family.

She turned to her elf. “Kreacher,” she said solemnly. “I order you to go back home and only come back when I call or if I’m in danger.”

Like she’d expected he opened his mouth to argue. “But Mistress-”

“Kreacher, go!”

Even if he despised it, no house elf can disobey the orders of his master. And so he disappeared with a loud crack, leaving the girl alone in the cold alley.

Cassia knew her way around Diagon Alley, it was easy. And her first stop? Gringotts. The goblins eyed her with scepticism but when she handed them her key it vanished.

Ten minutes later she was outside with her hair tussled and a bag of money on her hands. It was her first time in the Alley alone and she was scared but excited at the same time.

The January wind was cold so she burrowed her nose on her scarf and tugged her hat over her ears. Both navy blue and white, a gift from Miss Dahlia.

“You’re a Spurs fan now,” she had told her.

Where to go? The few times that Cassia had been in Diagon Alley had always been with Regulus or her mother and they always had a plan, knew where to go and in the right order.

Well, now it was her turn to choose.

Since she had left mid-breakfast and was hungry again she decided to go to Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour. She wanted some ice cream. Even if it was late January and freezing cold.

The man smirked at her. “Not really the time for ice creams, is it?”

Cassia just smiled at him. “It won’t make it any colder.”

Mr. Fortescue laughed. “Oh, at that you’re right. Should you be alone here?”

“My mother and my brother are working,” she shrugged. “And I’m old enough to look after myself.”

The ice cream vendor seemed to fight with himself for a moment. “Why don’t you come inside?” he said. “You will freeze out there.”

The inside of the shop was nice and comfortable. With pastel walls and pictures of landscapes, the soft smell of vanilla in the air. There was a red sofa and a coffee table. On the sofa a young girl was reading a heavy book.

“Hi, I’m Cassia.”

The girl looked up from her book. “Giorgia.”

“Your father let me in. Can I sit with you? What are you reading?”

Giorgia looked a bit taken aback by the other girl’s friendliness. “Um… it’s called The Red Boat.”

Seeing that the girl was answering Cassia took is as an invitation and sat on the armrest, leaning towards the girl. “What is it about?”

“Well, it’s about this group of kids who find an enchanted red boat and they start travelling around the world and having adventures and stuff. And there’s this evil guy who wants the boat for himself and keeps trying to steal it and they have to stop him all the time.”

She nodded with interest. “Whoa! It sounds pretty great. I’ll have to read it.”

“They have it on Flourish and Blotts so if you have money you can go,” Giorgia suggested.

Cassia grinned. “Great!” she said with such enthusiasm that Giorgia couldn’t help smiling back.

Mr. Fortescue appeared on the small hall with a hovering tray in front of him. The tray landed on the coffee table and Cassia saw that it carried two bowls of ice cream covered with chocolate.

“You look like a chocolate and strawberry kind of girl,” he explained as he gestured towards the bowl with the pink ice cream.

Her eyes widened with amazement. “How did you know?”

He tapped his nose. “It’s my job to know these things.”

The chocolate covering was hot against the cold ice cream. Cassia beamed at the first taste.

“Why don’t you join her on her shopping later, Gina?” asked Mr. Fortescue. “It would do you some good to get out the house.”

“Oh, I don’t know… I mean, she sure has already plans a-”

Cassia shook her head. “No, actually I don’t. It’s just… I got my Hogwarts letter this morning but there wasn’t anyone to celebrate with me at home. So I decided to come here. Come on! We can go to Flourish and Blotts and you can tell me about your favourite books!”

Seeing herself outnumbered the girl relented. “You’ll have to give me money, though,” she told her father.

Gina Fortescue was a tall girl for her age. With olive skin that looked almost yellowish from the lack of sun, dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. She walked fast and almost seemed to be in a bad mood. Cassia, though, had quickly learnt how to make her talk.

The girls chattered about books and spent hours at Flourish and Blotts, although in the end Cassia only bought two books and Gina one. Then they went at the Leaky Cauldron for lunch and they strolled through the Alley and the connecting ones (except for Knocturn Alley). When it was getting late, Cassia dragged her new friend to the pet shop to buy a cat.

“Owls are more useful,” Gina told her when she saw her making faces at the kittens.

“I want a pet, not a tool,” Cassia scowled.

Her brother burst into the shop with a fierce scowl and Kreacher by his side. Neither of them looked happy.

“Hi, Reg!”

His scowl deepened. “Cassiopiea Lucretia Black, what the hell were you thinking?”

Gina snorted. “Lucretia?”

“I know, I know,” she stuck out her tongue to her new friend. “Can you start the shouting once we get home?”

Regulus sighed but conceded eyeing Gina, the vendor and the people on the street. “Let’s go then.”

“Wait!” she turned back to Gina. “My birthday is this Saturday. I guess my mother will make me a party with family members and stuff but maybe later you can come?”

Gina smiled. “Yeah, sure. And you can come visit anytime.”

“Brilliant.”

Regulus tried not to look warmed by the scene. Cassia hadn’t had a lot of chances to interact with other kids her age, so it was nice to see her making friends again.

Still… “Can we go now?”

“Just a moment,” the girl rushed to the counter. “I want that one.”

 “Of course you had to get the one that was missing a leg.”

Cassia hugged the cat close to her body. “Nobody was going to get him! And look at him! Look at this face!”

The cat was mostly grey and fluffy, the kind of cat you wanted to nuzzle all day long. His almond shaped eyes were a mix between yellow and green. His left hind leg was missing; he got ran by a car some months ago. It was young, not even two years old, and the lady of the shop had told her had made a nice recovery. She had even given her some advice to better take care of him.

“Mother won’t be happy that you’ve bought a cat,” said Regulus. And even less when she saw the cat hadn’t even a drop of kneazle blood and, on top of everything, was broken.

Cassia scratched the cat behind its ears. “I will keep him away from her and she won’t mind. Now I just have to think of a name. Umm…”

“You will clean the litter box on your own and without magic.”

She ignored him. “The lady said he came from Greece, so how about a Greek name?”

“You’re not going to call him Zeus.”

She beamed. “Helios! It’s the sun god.”

Her brother just sighed.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

The next few months things changed a bit around the house. Miss Dahlia and Ms. Pyrites only came in the mornings, leaving her afternoons off to goof around or go to Diagon Alley to hang out with Gina.

During her childhood Cassia had made some friends with the other pureblood children around her age that always ended up stuck with her on the parties and such. Then the war had worsened and the parties had stopped, and then Cassia had gone into hiding with Reg for two years. By the time she’d gone back into society it was like she didn’t know those kids anymore and they all seemed so different from her… They didn’t have anything in common.

Still, Cassia tried to be friendly and keep the peace on those dinners. She hated every second of it, but she bore it with a smile. Luckily those events weren’t as common as they had been once upon a time.

Cassia read, played with Helios, wrote to Gina and obeyed her teachers. Miss Dahlia took her on excursions and she got to meet Tina Hopper, the girlfriend. They took her to a football match, Tottenham Hotspur versus Arsenal (5-0), to the movies, skating, bowling… Miss Dahlia bought her muggle records when she learnt that nobody used her father’s old gramophone, and Tina took her to a U2 concert and promised many more afterwards.

Cassia liked Tina.

When summer came, Regulus took Cassia on a two week holiday to the south of France. She ended up sunburnt everywhere but had lots of fun. Regulus even made a lady friend on the trip and she got to tease him a lot afterwards.

During one of her numerous trips to Diagon Alley to see Gina she also bought some Potion’s ingredients, her school robes and her wand.

Mr. Ollivander had needed almost a full hour to find her perfect wand and, once he did, he kept looking at her strangely. “Pear and unicorn hair,” he muttered to himself. “I think this is the first time I’ve ever sold something like this to a Black,” and he stared at her as if expecting her to jump and announce that, actually, she was adopted.

She and Regulus shared a look. “Alright…” he cleared his throat. “Seven galleons, is it?”

The wandmaker snapped out of his trance. “Right, seven galleons, yes. I believe you will end up surprising the whole world, young lady.”

Cassia was very relieved to leave the shop. “Is he always like this?”

Her brother was frowning. “Yes, he’s always been a little… intense.”

And after that all there was left to do was wait. Wait until September 1st came around and she could finally go to Hogwarts. Reg couldn’t stop teasing her, saying that maybe he’d changed his mind and didn’t want to part with her so he’d ask Ms. Pyrites to keep coming.

He didn’t see the flying pillow until it was too late.

Even her mother seemed to be sad about Cassia leaving her for most of the year, but Cassia couldn’t be sure. She’d never been really close to her mother, always a Daddy’s girl, and when she and Reg had gone into hiding for two years it was like coming home back to a stranger. Not that her mother spent much time home afterwards.

But now at Hogwarts things would change and she couldn’t wait.

[emperorren]

Why do so many people on here agree with the idea that the Rey and Kylo dynamic is automatically equal to Harry and Voldemort, though? Like of course any post disparaging "hetero goggles" will get many notes on Tumblr, but I would've thought that some people could at least distinguish the two dynamics, even if they hate Reylo as well. (Also, I think the premise of the post is fundamentally false, because if Rey and Kylo were both men, Tumblr would love the ship and it would be more popular.)

I think the premise of the post is fundamentally false, because if Rey and Kylo were both men, Tumblr would love the ship and it would be more popular

ding dong we have a winner

seriously tho. that post succeeds at the remarkable task of misunderstanding both how tropes work, and how FANDOM works. 

and while I can blame the former on systemic illiteracy, there’s zero excuse for the latter coming from a generation who spends half a day on tumblr.

[amorremanet]

Okay, I’m just saying: the “Mother Mae-Eye” episode of Teen Titans is about 1,000 times more unsettling to me, personally, than anything the show ever did with Trigon’s treatment of Raven, or with Slade acting like the world’s absolute worst combination of abusive parent and sexual(ized) predator toward Robin, Terra, and to a different extent Raven Like, at least with Trigon and Slade, you know that they are horrible and they know that they are horrible, and they just don’t care that they’re horrible because they enjoy being horrible and they enjoy hurting people just because they can (and trying to end all life on Earth as we know it, in Trigon’s case, or on the other hand, enabling and helping Trigon out with that because Slade only truly gives a fuck about Slade and Trigon was all, “Do my dirty work and I’ll resurrect you for real”) But Mother Mae-Eye genuinely seems to have convinced herself that being manipulated and mind-controlled into acting like caricatures of themselves, then being baked into pies and eaten…… is legitimately the best possible thing for the Titans (for any children, really, since the Titans are only her targets for the one ep) — and abusers who believe their own bullshit and really believe they’re doing the right thing for their victims are infinitely more horrifying, for me, than abusers who know they’re abusers and go, “lmao so what, like I give a fuck that I’m hurting people” (To be fair, Teen Titans!Slade is definitely more of a liminal case than Trigon. Not that saying so necessarily means anything, since Trigon’s MO is literally the destruction of all life on earth and using his daughter against her will to make that happen — but Slade walks on a really wobbly, ill-defined line between knowing that he’s totally awful and just enjoying it, and seeming to really think he’s helping Robin and Terra, because he sees things like love and friendship as flaws and weaknesses, and it’s just…? Sometimes, it’s kinda difficult for me to tell whether Slade honestly buys his own bullshit and feels like he’s helping his victims — at least, helping Robin and Terra — or he is just using them for his own benefit and knows it and does not care as long as he improves his own lot in life, or what the balance here is if he’s doing a bit of both) idk, it’s a lot like one aspect of why Umbridge is a much better villain, and a more terrifying and narratively effective antagonist, than Voldemort, over in HP Land (aside from the part where Tom Marvolo Riddle is just an absolute dunderhead who sucks at being a dark lord in all the possible ways, and on a meta level, you know it’s a Thing because JKR would much rather dehumanize her villains in the name of her own comfort, and in so doing sacrifice so much of what was allegedly important to her and her story — but on an in-universe level, it’s hard to actually take him seriously bc the guy is fucking USELESS) Basically, both options here require a fuck-ton of callousness and disregard for the emotions, health and wellbeing, and basic-level rights and dignity of other people, and both options are horrifying in their own ways, neither more nor less horrifying than the other option but simply different (despite some overlap because they have the common ground of being abusers) But, personally, I’m way more unsettled by the people who can do such awful things to others as torture like Dolores Umbridge, and literally drugging teenagers into loving you so that you can magically feed off of that affection, then baking said teenagers into pies and then eating them, a la Mother Mae-Eye — and come out the other side still truly believing that they were 5,000% in the right and their victims were wrong and terrible for daring to stand up to them —which I think is partly how I react because, for the most part, most of the people who’ve hurt me before have fallen into models that are much closer to Umbridge and Mother Mae-Eye than they are to Voldemort, Slade, and Trigon. But I also feel like part of this reaction is based in how, in my experience and observations, more real-world abusive people are closer in behavior and their thoughts to Umbridge and Mother Mae-Eye than they are to Voldemort, Slade, and Trigon. But, at the same time, all of this is just a bunch of subjective opinions, anyway, so? TL;DR: Mother Mae-Eye is creepy and deeply unsettling as fuck, and personally, I would much rather deal with Slade and Trigon. Also, I wish the dog were here right now, since I could seriously use puppy cuddles after that ep