#voice dysphoria is real but I'm trying

[anne-is-ominous]

Ever wanted to hear Ranko's songs? Now you can...

I'm going live streaming on the Storytellers' Speakeasy, my Phoenix fan Discord server, in about 15-20 minutes! I'll be streaming for the next few hours, singing for you! C'mon in and make your requests! <3

[the-heaminator]

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[tractsecretion9]

how did I ever think I was an alto in high school. I sounded like a little glass bird. hang on I have to put the rest of this in the tags

[xxacidnekoxx]

it makes me so mad how much t-boys are infantilized and this whole time I guess that is one of those things I've been trying to learn to cope with in my art. I think I have reached a point where I am like... yeah.. that is just like.. the way things are.. I guess.. even if I became the biggest muscular man of all time or if I was a spooky scary guy people are still gonna talk to me like I'm a baby when they learn I'm a transgender man ... SIGHH.. but I actually was looking through my art and I really did feel a truly deep sense of love for myself and really confident now. I am really fucking cool, I have a lot of gender dysphoria so sad. everytime I start reminding myself I'm a man I'm a man I'm a man I'm a man and looking at pictures of sephiroth or something I cool off a lot and just feel comfortable with how much I crave to draw a rainbow angel fairy cat thing and what I cant control what I look like in real life... or my voice my voice gives me a lot of gender dysphoria but I keep thinking about like... vocaloid len and it makes me feel so much better

[thegnomelord]

If you're up to it, I would like to request FtM reader x dragon Price, reader can be dom or sub I just need more FtM things in life besides myself😞😞 -🐆

Sure, I wasn't in the mood for porn so have some fluff. fair warning I'm not all that confident writing FTM reader so ya'll tell me if this sucks lol

CW: SFW, gender dysphoria, fluff, non sexual nudity, cuddling, scar kissing

Most day are good for you. Most days you're able to get out of bed and go about your day to day duties with confidence.

Not today.

You wake before your alarm with an unpleasant feeling in your gut, tossing and turning for an hour in hopes of falling asleep but it's useless. The morning chill only amplifies the horrid sensation — your skin doesn't feel like your own, your body doesn't feel your own. It's like roaches are crawling beneath your skin, thousands of toothpicks stabbing your nerves every time the cotton of your boxers brushes against your flawed flesh. Old words of people you once considered friends ring in your head like church bells: You're not a real man, you'll never be.

All you are, is a badly made replica in the approximation of what you want to be.

Your bones feel like they're lined with lead, every cell in your body begging you to stay under the covers in the darkness of your room for however long it takes for this feeling to go away. But the sharp ringing of the alarm forces you to rise against your wishes. You don't look at yourself when you shower, but the small glimpse of skin you catch in the mirror makes bile burn the back of your throat. Usually you're proud of your torso and the muscles you've built, but all you can think now as you put on the tight fitting army shirt is how wrong it looks on you. You try to pull on the front a couple of times in an attempt to make it baggier around your chest, before just putting on a jacket regardless that it's the middle of summer.

Recruit duty makes a bad day even worse, adding a headache alongside the discomfort and anxiety that straddle your brain. You hate how snappy and agitated you are with them, running them through grueling drills until they regret being born and have probably called you every name under the sun in their heads. The all collapse when you're finally finished with them, stepping away from them. The day's heat made you sweat like a pig, another round of bile burning the back of your throat at how your clothes stick to you.

You flinch back when a hand grabs your shoulder, quickly whirling around to look who it is with a sharp retort burning on your tongue, only to fizzle out when you're met with Price's face.

Your name sounds so right when he says it, the scent of tobacco curling in your nose as he steps closer to you, wing stretching out to subtly hang over you. "What's going on lad?" Price asks, his voice low, like taking a sip of cool water.

The question makes you hesitate, unable to meet his gaze so you fixate on counting the little chips in the concrete floor. "Just one of those days." You grunt, your voice hoarse and scratchy from belting orders all day.

Price hums in thought and then you feel his wing bump against your back, "Follow me soldier." The deep timber of his voice silences some of the dark thoughts crooning in your ears, and you're helpless to do anything but follow after him like a lost lamb. He leads you back to his room (that you haunt most nights), the place blessedly cool and dark compared to the heat outside.

The second the door closes and locks he pulls you in close, wrapping his steady arms around you and pushing your face into the pillowy bosom of his pecs. You struggle for a moment out of pure instinct, but a single call of your name makes you stop like a puppet on cut strings. He repeats your name like a caress, rolling every syllable on his tongue as his chest rumbles with a deep purr.

You melt into him, nuzzling your nose into the deep valley of his pecs and breathing in his smell. He's more intoxicating than any drug you know; beneath the scents of tobacco, dark coffee, and manly musk there's always something that your mind associates with freshly cut grass and rain on dry gravel — Comfort.

"You're so smart and clever." He croons, resting his chin on top of yours, one hand tracing the curve of your back. "But by god are you a dumb muppet." There's no edge to his words, you don't even think of fighting his admonishments. "How many times have I told you to come to me if you feel like this?"

Too many times, to be honest. You're stubborn if nothing else, you always think you can handle this on your own, you don't want to burden him whenever your mind decides to be a dick to you. "I'm sorry." You mumble into his shirt, your hands slowly wrapping around his thick waist. It always does your head in how your fingers can't quite meet in the middle of his back with how broad he is, muscle and fat shifting beneath your hands.

"Sure you are." He tuts, evidently not believing you for a second. But he doesn't pull away, tail loosely wrapping around your leg and his scent and heat enveloping you, his chest vibrating against your face. "Going to let me take care of my boy, aren't you?" The way he phrases it makes it sound like a statement, and you're unable to resist it.

Your mouth goes dry, your body stuck between wanting more and abhorring any more physical contact. But you nod your head, grumbling something probably nonsensical. And any other day you'd laugh your ass off about the fact you're practically motorboating him, but not today. Today you barely have any energy left to think.

"That's my boy." He purrs, clawed fingers gently scratching your scalp. "Shower?" He asks.

You pause, trying to string together a tangible thought. You doubt you could handle that, not with how dark and heavy your head feels. "No." You croak and nuzzle further into his chest in an attempt to hide.

"S'alright, I'm proud of you." He hums, still holding you close as he shuffles across the room with you blindly following him. "Let's get you out of those sweaty clothes, yeah?" Getting a single nod from you, he starts to slowly take off your clothes, pulling back just enough to distract you with sweet kisses. You try to help in taking his clothes off, but you feel about as useful as a small child helping his parents cook, getting a few chuckles from him.

You wind up gently pushed down on your back, spread across his bed that smells just like him and naked as the day you were born. Before the discomfort can make you shy away and try to cover yourself, he's settling down next to you, claws scraping against your jaw as he pulls you into a slow kiss. You swear you can always taste a bit of eternity every time he kisses you, so unhurried like you'll last as long as him.

"Look at you." He hums as you part, his hands sliding down your shoulders and arms to your hips. "My handsome boy." He tilts his head to kiss all over your face, trailing his lips from your brows to your eyelids, cheeks, nose, chin to wherever else he can reach. His beard is soft against your skin, evidently he'd used that beard care product you'd given him. "So strong and capable. My strong knight."

That gets the first vestige of a chuckle out of you. "Does that mean I get to lay the dragon?" You ask, your lips tugging into a small smirk. You've made that joke god knows how many times, but despite his gripes, Price loves it.

"Cheeky wanker." He huffs, his cool clawed fingers trailing along the curve of your muscles up your torso. "Later, if you're good."

A low sound escapes you when his thumbs brush the even scars beneath your pecs. "Good?" He asks, waiting for you to nod before tilting his head down, horns gently poking your skin for a second before he starts kissing along your scars. His touch is gentle like you're a precious treasure in his hoard, his lips velvet soft against the rough scar tissue. Every brush of his lips makes your skin tingle like a live wire, fire simmering in the place he kisses as he trails from one side to the other, laying equal attention on every inch of your scars.

It's pleasant. Beyond pleasant. It leaves your chest feeling so warm and full like your heart will burst through your ribcage.

You feel like a melted puddle of goo by the time he pulls away to kiss you on the lips again. You don't struggle as he lays down on his side and pulls you to him. A pleased sigh escapes you as you feel his wing drape over you like a blanket, tail curling around one of your legs and arms wrapping around your waist; like he's making sure you can't escape (not that you'd want to.)

Dragons are strange, the scales cool against your skin but his core is hot like a furnace, the duality of it calming your mind. "How are you feeling lad?" He asks, the low timber of his voice vibrating his chest.

You hum and nuzzle into his pecs, the ample chest hair tickling your face. "Better." You grunt, blindly kissing what inch of flesh you can reach. You can't keep your hands from wandering, petting the dark hair of his happy trail as your other hand traces the scales on his side. "Could feel better with a bit more attention though."

A snort leaves him, his breath ghosting over your ear. "You're insatiable." His words would be a lot more insulting if his chest didn't vibrate with a continuous purr, his tail tightening for a second before relaxing.

"You're to blame." You feel better as the words leave you, your chest light as a feather as you get to share a small laugh with him.

"Get some rest, my boy," You hum, your eyelids already starting to feel heavy as you feel him nuzzle his cheek into your hair. You don't doubt the whole base will be able to smell him on you tomorrow. "We'll see about laying dragons later."

"I love you." You murmur into his flesh, his pecs becoming the world's best pillow as you nuzzle closer. You stay awake just long enough to hear him murmur his love for you in your ear.

[genderqueerdykes]

hi um. i’d like to ask you for some advice, since it seems like a lot of people come to you when they need it. i’m a trans girl who’s been taking estrogen for 2.5 years but. i’m just so disappointed and unhappy with what hrt has done for me. i feel like i’ve been completely taken over by doomerism from me constantly comparing myself to other transfems both online and irl, and from spending too much time on trans reddit (i’m sending you this ask instead of writing another vent post on r/mtf). through this i’ve convinced myself that i will never be happy with my body, or that i’ll never have real boobs or a feminine body at all. i really really don’t want to give up hope, but it just seems so far out of reach, and i’m stuck down here in this inky abyss. what do you do in dark times when you need to regain hope, but you can’t do it yourself?

first of all, i wanted to say i'm sorry that you're feeling this way. medical transition is a very finicky thing. there is no way to predict what will happen and when, so it's okay to feel just. completely bummed the hell out when you're not seeing the changes you hoped for yet. i definitely see how it can be crushing, especially when you know your body needs to look a different way for you to be happy. it's important to consider people look a lot different irl than they do in photos and videos. camera lenses can only capture so much. pictures and videos can be edited. it's hard to compare yourself to something like that

& i did want to say that you're definitely not alone! there are a lot of girls in your exact situation. with everyone responding to HRT differently, you'll see girls who get changes right away, and girls where it takes a long time. changes with HRT generally happen very slowly, way slower than the eye can perceive, so it's okay if you feel like nothing is happening. your body just may need more time to adjust

have you ever increased your dose? if not, that is totally an option! you may also want to look into progesterone if you find that you're not happy with your breast growth after some time. it's best to look into progesterone first to make sure it's right for you, as it will affect more than just breast growth, but i wanted to throw it out there as an option! if you're not on an androgen blocker, this could also potentially help you

for both estrogen and testosterone HRT, it can take a minimum of 5 years for people to begin seeing the effects they were desiring. 5 years, minimum! that's a very long time, comparatively, you are very early on in your journey. the effects you want to see may just come along further on down the road. i know it's easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. it's good to remind yourself that they are not you, they do not share your genetics. they look like them. you look like you. it's okay that you don't look like those people- they're not you.

it doesn't make you any less of a woman just because you haven't seen these changes yet. there are plenty of women who look just like you, cis, intersex, trans, genderqueer, and otherwise. there are many cis and intersex women who don't "pass", and it doesn't make them any less of a woman: the same applies to you, and every trans girl. dysphoria can be a real pain in the ass and make things harder than it needs to be. it's okay to not be content with where you're at now. it's okay to be frustrated that you're not seeing the changes you want to right now. many, many trans people feel just the same way you do.

you may feel awkward and uncomfortable right now because you're literally in a transitional phase. think about when teenagers go through puberty, about how awkward they look and feel. cracking voices, bodies that are "in the middle" and not fully developed. that's what you're going through at the moment, and its okay. it just takes time for things to fully settle in.

what i would suggest is trying to find ways to do some self care that affirm your gender that don't involve your appearance. validating yourself in other ways is extremely important. building yourself up takes time. if you feel insecure about how you look, it's okay. you can start building your confidence in your identity and gender in other areas of yourself, first, then move on to your appearance. try to spend time with people who respect you for who you are, no matter how you look. try to surround yourself with people and things that affirm you

i hope you start seeing those changes you want to see soon. if you need more advice, feel free to ask! if any other trans girls on E have any advice for the asker, or relate to the experience, please feel free to chip in with some feedback on this ask, or by sending an ask! due to being intersex, i was taking estrogen and progesterone despite not wanting to, so i was not cataloguing what was changing or anything like that, so i can't speak from personal experience there despite having been on E HRT in the past.

take care of yourself for now. try to go easy on yourself, you're still in your coocoon. the day where you emerge as a butterfly is on its way, it just takes a little time. please feel free to come back any time. i hope we can get some good insight for you

[froggywritesstuff]

dysphoria | angel dust

ship/pairing: Angel dust x trans!male!reader (reader has a uterus and still gets his period)

fandom: Hazbin Hotel

request: Can I request Angel Dust comforting his trans boyfriend when he gets his period and is extremely dysphoric and depressed about the whole thing. This whole week has been a shit fest of dysphoria and crying.

warnings: maybe ooc idk , I didn't clarify in my writing but first confession of love i guess, periods, gender dysphoria, swearing, crying, emotional breakdowns, petnames (reader gets called baby), rushed ending, bad sex joke

word count: 758

A/N: sorry this is really short i have zero motivation to do anything 👍 fem and cis readers dni

You didn’t even need to tell Angel what was happening, nor did he need to ask. The second he saw your face contorted into one of discomfort, he was all over you. He hung up a dozen ‘do not disturb’ signs on your hotel room door (though it was basically a shared room at that point), prepared to verbally or physically attack anyone trying to disturb you. Before you could even mention cramps he had a heat pack fresh out the microwave for you, checking every five minutes if it was still warm or if you wanted it reheated. He would cuddle you tightly, him and Fat Nuggets doing their very best to cheer you up. Angel showed how much he truly cared for you. You couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend than him. However you felt nothing he could do would make the dysphoria you felt go away. He’s an amazing boyfriend but unfortunately he can’t stop your period or give you a dick. (he could do the second one if you asked him nicely)

”Ok I think this is all the chocolate in the entire hotel, I refilled your water, and I got you some of those snacks you like.” Angel listed as he sat on the bed beside you, dumping the food in your lap before readjusting the pillows wedged between your head and the wall, wanting to make sure you were as comfortable as you could be.

”Ange, you didn’t have to do all that.” you mumbled despite knowing it was pointless and he would continue to insist on helping you. 

He pulled you closer to him, letting you rest your head against his shoulder, “I told you it’s fine. I want nothin’ more than for you to be happy.”

You lazily snuggled up to him. Dealing with your period and the gender dysphoria that tagged along with it tended to drain your energy, "Thanks. I really appreciate you helping me with this."

Angel's arm snaked around your waist, holding you close to him, "Of course baby. But of the list of things I'd do for you, this is pretty mild. If your period was a person I swear I'd fuck 'em up real bad. Make 'em regret ever makin' you feel this way."

You couldn’t tell if it was just your hormones going batshit or not, but Angel’s words had you burst into tears. You quickly buried your face in the crook of his neck as he pulled you into a tight but comfortable hug.

”You’re ok babe, I’ve got you, just let it out,” his whispers comforted you as his hand gently rubbed up and down your back soothingly, not even caring that your tears were staining his shirt. 

Shaky breaths left your lips as you cried, “I'm grateful you're helping me. But I hate this. I hate my body. I hate it so fucking much.” your voice cracked as more tears rushed down your face. Angel was quick to pull out of the hug and cup your face, his eyes on you as his thumb caressed your cheeks. “It’s not fair.”

Tears brimmed Angel’s eyes, his heart breaking at your words, “I know baby. And you're right, it’s not fair. And you don’t deserve to feel this way one bit.” he pressed his lips to your forehead, “You hear me?" you gave a small nod as his thumb wiped away your tears, "And you're not your body. You're the hottest, the funniest, the kindest, the strongest, and the most handsome - yeah you're the most handsome and hottest man I’ve ever met, who also happens to be the best boyfriend in the world. And I wanna do anythin' to help you with this pain."

A small smile grew on your lips as you listened to him. He was so genuine and sincere, a big contrast to his usual sarcastic and snarky demeanour. On a day you felt like dying only he could make you feel like living, "I love you. So much."

He smiled ear to ear, feeling his heart swell at your words, "I love you too baby." he handed you one of the snacks he had brought, "Do you wanna eat something? And then you can talk more about what's botherin' you, or we can watch movies, or we can just nap. Whatever you wanna do."

You nodded, taking a bite of the snack, "That sounds good." Angel shifted on the bed so he was beside you again, one arm around your shoulders, while the other wiped your remaining tears.

[abyssal-author-and-artist]

oh shit i just realized i forgot to post the trans dipper essay

oh well, better late than never!

Introducing - Why Mason "Dipper" Pines is Trans and Why that Matters - an essay I spent more time on than I did my actual college project today

Mason "Dipper" Pines from Gravity Falls is trans. Trans masculine, to be specific. Do I believe this was intentional? No. Do I believe that there's a seriously convincing case to be made? Fuck yes.

So first off, he's just like me frfr, which is pretty compelling in and of itself. But that's not enough for a whole essay, so we move onto our second point - character designs. Dipper is designed like, well, like every modern-era trans man I've ever drawn who isn't goth. The shorts, the one shirt in the one color, the absolute insecurity. He even does the hunch of the back! Also, I think I heard somewhere that the vest is to make his shoulders look broader, which I'm not entirely sure is canon but I am accepting this whole-heartedly. It's such a trans move of him. He's too young (and it's summer so it's too hot) to wear a dysphoria hoodie so he picked a vest. (I say too young because dysphoria hoodies usually cover your chest and Dipper and Mabel probably haven't hit puberty.)

The second part comes directly from science. According to this article, and many others, sex in identical twins is complicated, but most identical twins will be born the same sex. There are cases where this isn't true (which might be the case for Mabel and Dipper) or they might be fraternal, which is also pretty likely. However, looking at them when they were younger (and listening to their very similar voices), it's likely they were identical and both girls. That's not to say I dislike trans Mabel - every trans woman I draw dresses like her, so I do love her being trans as well and them hitting the age of like. 10. and swapping genders is incredibly funny and adorable to me.

So, we can't reliably use the aforementioned evidence, then, can we? After all, identical twins can be different sexes, although rare, and we don't have any proof they are identical beyond their visual (and when they were younger, audible) similarities. Well, first off, I'd say that's pretty compelling evidence already. In a cartoon, especially one as detailed and beautiful-looking as Gravity Falls (the art is good and I will die on this hill), visual language makes up for a lot. And Alex Hirsh has gone on record saying that he very much wanted Jason Ritter and Kristen Schaal for Dipper and Mabel respectively, to the point where he would have canceled the show if Kristen hadn't signed on, so I wholeheartedly believe every character (with the exception of Grenda and any other characters who had last minute va's picked) had their voice actors picked very specifically. I can't find whether Jason Ritter voiced younger Dipper, though, so that's a dead end.

Now, that's all well and good, but it's a lot of visual language, isn't it? Why don't we move into something more based in the writing itself?

So the first and most prominent example of Dipper being transgender is the episode Dipper vs Manliness. You know it, you probably have emotions on it, it's the episode where Dipper is trying his hardest to be a man's man. The episode was supposed to be about toxic masculinity and how to be a real man is to stick to your morals. It's a good lesson and in my opinion, holds up even in 2024. Pretty good. Does a great job of what it wants to do. Now, Dipper vs. Manliness has been dissected to hell and back already as a transgender allegory, so I'll keep this brief: the episode centers around Dipper being mocked for not being manly. While Mabel and Stan still see him as a man, albeit an effeminate one, it gets to Dipper. He proceeds to do anything to prove himself a real man. If viewed as a trans allegory, Mabel is teasing her brother and not realizing how deeply it actually hurts him (whether accidentally because she fails to realize how insecure he is over it or because she hasn't been there before, depending on how you want to headcanon it). As for Stan, I like to pretend he's supportive but regularly forgets Dipper was ever a girl, so he makes a serious slip up because of that (and/or he's regurgitating stuff said to him. That hits harder if you also headcanon trans Stan, which I am warming up to). Dipper proceeds to try and prove himself a man, crying when he takes even one more blow to his self esteem/sense of identity as a man, and eventually gets comfort from his family when they realize just how BADLY they messed him up. He is affirmed as a man and the episode ends. Everything that can be said, has been said - including that you don't have to act toxically masculine - or even masculine at all - to be a real man. Remember this part, it will be important later.

So, other trans moments for Dipper come a little sparser. Dipper vs. Manliness is the example for a good reason. But still, there's other moments. The short Voice Over from one of the short story compliation episodes is another one that's commonly referenced as a metaphor for voice dysphoria. Yes, Dipper's voice is cracking in ways common for a cis pre-teen boy his age, but the pitch and tone of his voice can also be seen as his more feminine voice peeking through. Taking the potion can be seen as taking testosterone or other hormones. Granted, this falls apart when you consider that Dipper is later discouraged from taking the potion, because that could be read as Dipper being discouraged from transitioning, but on the other side of the spectrum, it could be read as Dipper being affirmed as a real man despite his voice. From that perspective, his family prevents him from taking (possibly dangerous) homebrewed hrt. Also, the euphoria he gets when it does change his voice is just. Absolutely adorable.

Now, my favorite resource for Dipper acting trans is in the episode Headhunters. He's asking Manly Dan questions and Manly Dan calls Dipper a girl. And MAN the discomfort on Dipper's face. He immediately attempts to correct Manly Dan, but is shut down and the episode moves on. I think that for such a short moment, it does a good job of making Dipper seem trans, though. He is called a girl and feels extreme discomfort around it. He does not like being called a girl. He is not a girl. But he's not shocked or surprised or even really offended - he's resigned. He's used to being called a girl. Sure, he hates it, but he doesn't cry or scream or anything. Sounds to me like a trans man who's absurdly used to being misgendered but still hates it. That pain never goes away, but sometimes all you can do is flinch in discomfort, try to correct and move on, like the episode does.

For a (mostly humorous) video of more of Dipper acting trans, check out this video.

So I think we've made a pretty compelling point for Dipper Pines being trans masc here. Looks pretty good, yup, this is a great essay, let's wrap it up. Oh? What's that? The name of this essay?

Why Mason "Dipper" Pines is transgender and why that matters.

Well, let's dive into section two of this essay - why does Dipper being trans matter?

Someone could easily say it doesn't matter. Just fun fandom headcanons, that's it, wrap it up now. Nothing more to say. Dipper is trans and that's just a fun reading of his character.

But I don't think that's the case. I think that Dipper being trans means so much - to trans fans of the show, to fans who have never seen or spoken to trans people before, and to queer fans of Gravity Falls and similar shows. (I personally am a Steven Universe fan who really valued the representation there, so Gravity Falls and all it's queer coding means a lot to me.)

First and foremost, I'm not going to keep you in the dark as to why you're remembering my earlier point. As a recap, it was this: Dipper vs. Manliness, and by proxy, Gravity Falls as a whole, says that you don't have to be traditionally masculine to be a real man. For a show that spends a lot of time mocking a kid commonly headcanoned to be a trans man, that says a lot, and a lot of stuff I think more people need to hear.

You do not need to act like your gender to be your gender.

You do not need to present like your gender to be your gender.

You do not need to fit some rigid box that society enforces to be who you are.

If you are a man, you are a man, trans or cis, regardless of how you act. (And the same goes for women and nonbinary people! You don't have to fit a mold.)

You don't owe anyone anything.

You don't owe people masculinity. (Or femininity or androgyny for that matter.)

I think that's part of the reason Dipper vs. Manliness ages so well. Dipper reads as trans, especially to queer fans, and his story in that episode tells us that we don't have to be someone we're not for people to take us seriously as who we are. At the end of the day, the really masculine thing is staying true to you - a sentiment echoed and reversed in The Last Mabelcorn, where the most feminine thing you can do is to stay true to yourself. I can't find it right now, but I could swear that there's a That GF Fan video explaining my point a little better. The point is, there's nothing that makes you more of whatever your gender is than staying true to yourself.

Additionally, if Dipper really is trans and someone sees themself in him, that can help them explore their gender or explain it to other people. Young kids who have never interacted with trans people before can see Dipper and grow up to connect the dots - or grow up to have him crack their eggs.

I know I'm new to the fandom and I was already out before watching the show, but he really helped me explore my gender. I like dressing like him - he's very relatable, even though I'm old enough to be in college now. I see him as a very anxious, slightly paranoid trans kid, and I see a lot of myself in him. He has a lot of issues, and a lot of issues that aren't trans specific but definitely hit harder when you are trans. He makes me feel seen on a level that I never thought a cartoon character could do.

Honestly, here would be a good place to put a rant about representation in kids media - queer kids under the age of 12 exist and struggle. I liked a girl (before realizing I was trans) in fifth grade, so about 9 years old. There are kids who experiment with their gender when they're younger than that. We're here and we exist, and every single time a character in children's media is made and is prevalent, another kid is able to really see themself.

That's really the point of this section. Dipper is trans. That matters. People - mostly queer kids but people of all ages - see themselves in him. He's here and we see him as queer because it's validating. It feels so good to hear Stan affirm him at the end of Dipper vs. Manliness, because it proves that at the end of the day, you don't need to present as super masc or femme or androgynous to be who you are.

Gravity Falls, through coding Dipper as trans, sent a message:

You are seen. You are loved. You are valid.

Thank you for reading this all. Trans Dipper means a lot to me, and I love writing him and seeing him in general. I want more of him because Dipper being trans means the world to me.

I love you all. Have a wonderful day. Remember to stay true to yourself.

[scarlivings]

sometimes i hate being transfem, because even if i find hope to look pretty on the outside, my insides are still so viscerally ugly and there's literally nothing anyone can do to clean them. i go to gym class, see that pretty emo white cis girl and think "if i don't look like her soon i'll harm myself." i open youtube, see a fellow trans girl who passes as cis and think "why can't that be me?" i feel like i'll never get there, and even if i do get there, the process in between will open even more bullshit for me to deal with. i'll spend years looking like a jarring compromise, two faces overlapping like the local58 sleep video. i won't be able to pick a bathroom, clothes, etc. whether i pick boys or girls. and even other trans people will mistake me for a fetishizer or mockery of some kind, i'll look like a shitty caricature drawn by some twitter blue checkmark neonazi, hours spent on nails and makeup falling apart upon the slightest regrowth of my beard.

when i'm older and shapeshifting in real time, i'll have to worry about just barely putting myself together, hoping somebody from afar doesn't notice my beard clashing with my eyeliner and try to physically attack me. i see a trans guy complain about getting weird stares or getting mistaken for a child and think "he has it so much easier." and i know it's wrong, and it makes me scared of unknowingly being a bigot with a fetish or something. i wish my constant paranoias were as small as "i hope nobody asks for my id!" instead of "i hope nobody curb stomps me for having a slightly deep voice!" carrying my phone in public with the google search result for 911 in the background in case this ever happens, covering my camera with my paw at all times so nobody thinks i'm some pervert taking creep shots of them.

my gender dysphoria manifests as the culmination of every toxic, two-faced cishet white locker room gossip girl i've ever encountered, chastising me for not fitting the unrealistic standards they impose on themselves. everything about me is so masculine. my personality is so typical of a teenage boy, wasting hours in video games, obsessed with music. completely ignore the fact said music is experimental noise made by trans women, because that makes my taste a trans stereotype, which is even worse for me. nobody will take me seriously as a girl if i'm just like every other trans girl. i'm already a lot like every other trans girl, i have that chronically online sense of humor, the interests

my build is too manly, too blocky, certainly not curvy. everyone says i'm average weight but my stomach still looks bloated when i lie down. i was built to be some professional sports player, that's what everyone says, which totally isn't racially motivated! and on that topic, racial stereotypes exaggerate my masculinity even further. black traits are considered stereotypically unattractive and masculine, even on cis women. and you know what's especially masculine and a black stereotype? being this fucking angry.

sometimes i hate being transfem.

[katiekatdragon27]

Thanks for 100 followers, take these as a gift :) My silly goofies.

First, aircorn being cute lol. Airy is strong, it's a given he's made of metal. Popcorn by physicality should be weaker, but she's not of this world sooooo f logic. Also, gurl be careful cuz if you drop him it's so over.

Ugly ass gijinkas.

Some old interview things I made a bit ago. Basically, me summing up what they see in each other and someone (probably Liam maybe) explaining why it's a poor choice in a partner. (Liam don't know the Popcorn lore yet >:) ).

There's gonna be Popcorn lore and more doodles below the cut.

[TW for creepy eyes ig???]:

For those who don't know, this is based on that one post about brown and blue eyes. It fit them perfectly, so here's a shitpost about it.

Also yeah, when I was developing my Popcorn lore, I knew she was gonna have scuffed eyes, but I wasn't sure what (I considered the current ones at first but I wasn't sure.) Then I saw some posts of him having Algebralien eyes and I thought "what if I made it scary?" Hence this.

Here's more bullet points about Popcorn to think about (I think I wrote too much oof):

She's not an object. She just feels most comfortable in the body she has right now (he's had some serious dysphoria in the past).

Although she has no real "sex", he goes by she/he.

She does not have a "real" name either. She just goes by whatever object (or other creature) she happens to be.

She is a shapeshifter, but it has limitations. Violent limitations. Her current body? He killed an empty bucket of popcorn and is basically wearing his skin. All her other morphs (including the non-object ones)? Killed them too. Her plethora of voice imitations? DNA takings, usually through violence.

She stole the 3D glasses from a store during her first week on Earth.

She has two very different personalities when he has the 3D glasses on and off.

When the glasses are on? Silly goofy. A ball of chaotic sunshine with little to no consideration for her or others' wellbeing.

When the glasses are off? She is incredibly angry and full of anxiety. He is incredibly violent and super unapproachable for the most part. Only a very small amount of people can see him with her glasses off and be okay. *cough cough* Airy *cough cough*

The only thing that remains consistent about all their morphs are the eyes.

Speaking of eyes, she's scared of eye contact because she loses control of her body when staring at someone. It's like a conscious form of sleep paralysis. She can only control her body when staring at someone if they're scared of her and actively trying to flee.

Also, since Airy really likes her eyes, they stare at each other a ton (even if Popcorn is sometimes uncomfortable). Airy gets good at reading Popcorn's eyes after a couple of times of that and learns when to look away for her sake. Airy probably stared at her for 10 minutes the first time he saw Popcorn's eyes and made her not want to look at him for a while after that.

If any of these intrigues any of you, feel free to adopt these headcanons into your own. I'm open about that 👍

Have a nice day fellas :)

[buterccup]

Could you perhaps write trans!male reader getting some validation from the 141? Platonic or nah, I just need the validation because the transition is so far away from me it hurts :(((((((

I live for your writing and it helps with the gender affirmation

Of course! I understand how hard it can be with validation and dysphoria so I hope this helps you and thank you so much mate^-^

I may have added some things that happened to me too- I hope you don't mind!

He will always be accepted

Summary: You were having a hard time with your body and kept it to yourself for a while leaving your team unaware until they finally catch on and give you all the validation you deserve and assure you, even without having the operation yet that you are a man. And they will always see you as one and be there to support you.

Warnings: A little bit angsty, dysphoria, trans!Male reader, he/him pronouns, fluff, comfort at the end, short

Character(s): Task force 141 x Trans! Reader

FEM ALIGNED DNI

It was a normal day back at base, well as normal as it can be for the task force. Price was looking over some paperwork, and Ghost and Soap talking about something while Gaz was talking to you. Everyone seemed to be doing well. Apart from you.

The way you have been feeling has been going on for a while already but never told your boys about it. Not finding the right time to tell them. But at this point, they could all tell something was up with you. You were just silently nodding or letting out hums most of the time and when someone commented about your body, good or bad, you would just strain a smile and nod to whatever they said, maybe say an awkward 'Yeah..' or 'oh' here and there but not as much as you normally would.

Gaz would just give you a soft smile before looking back at the other guys, wondering if he should bring up why you were so quiet to be met with Price looking at him with a stern look that said 'Do it you numpty'

"So..." Gaz then started, the awkward dragging of the word making you focus on him, a soft and comforting look on his face as he leaned closer to you, "We started to notice that you weren't...acting yourself. You do know you can tell us anything."

That's when the room went quiet for a while, the shuffling of Price's papers and the moving of Ghost and Soap being the only sounds that could be heard. They were ready to listen to your every worry and insecurity.

And if you were going to be painfully honest it made you tear up. Of course, they always helped you whenever they could especially when it was because of dysphoria but it always made you feel so happy when they did listen to you.

"Well...it's just knowing how far the transition is away from right now is just making me feel..." You started as Price placed the paperwork down to listen to you properly. "It just made me feel like I wasn't enough like I wasn't doing enough. What I'm trying to say it that I feel hopeless..."

"Aw...mate, I can't imagine how hard it is for you right now." Gaz says as he places a hand on yours and rubbed it gently.

"Why don't you come over here real quick." Soap then said, beckoning you with his hand to come over to the couch next to him, Ghost and Price with Gaz. Which you didn't hesitate to do. You trusted him. You trusted all of them.

"I know things may be hard for you right now but remember, operation or no operation, you will always be a man to us. It will never stop us from calling you what you want to be called or how you want to be seen." Soap said, his voice overflowing with comfort and confidence in what he was saying as he placed his hands on your shoulders as Gaz sat down near by on a chair.

"If you take it this way," Ghost then starts making your glossy eyes look over to him, "If you saw Price for example, with a... bun-"

"A man bun??"

"Shut up, I'm making a point- As I was saying, if Price had a man bun, you would never call him she or her, not unless he told you specifically would you?" he then continued, not waiting for you to respond since he knew you. "Exactly, of course having the surgery will help you a lot but whatever body you have at the moment will never stop us from calling you what you want us to. And it will never stop you from who you want to be."

"Plus, we all know how strong you are kiddo, we know you can stay strong until then, and if not we can always have talks like this." Price's voice then said in a fatherly tone as he gave you a smile. "Don't forget how proud we are at how far you've gotten as well [name]." Gaz's voice then pops up, even if you weren't looking at him you could see the warm smile he had on his face.

All of their words felt as if they were giving you a massive bear hug but for your heart and you could help but cry. Even a little bit.

"Thanks...Thank you so much."

"Anytime [Name]."

Requests: Open

[elliots-an-idiot]

Dimitrescu Sisters comforting dysphoric trans masculine s/o and reacting to him coming out!

My first dimi sister work inspired by @muffinsin :3 I’m a transgender man so this is mostly self indulgent lmfao, I hope you enjoy!! I’ll do a smut version if anyone’s interested!!! (@muffinsin has the best stories ever!!!)

Bela

“Love, baby, what’s wrong?” Bela wipes the tears from my face as I wept, feeling so wrong in my own body, “little one, come here.”

I lay on the bed and curl into her arms sobbing, my dysphoria had already been kicking my ass today but with the dance coming up it was getting worse. The crimson dress Bela had chosen made her look effervescent, even more than usual. I haven’t seen the dress she chose for me yet, but the pit in my stomach told me it was similar to hers. Her dress, one suitable for a princess, and mine? I sobbed at the mere thought of being stuck in one for the night.

“B-bels I can’t-“ I took a shaky breath, trying to calm myself, “I can’t do this anymore.”

“What?” She looked down at me with a pained expression, “what are you saying love? Are you brea-”

“No! I can’t do this anymore, I can’t keep pretending to be someone I’m not. ” I grab the material of the skirt I’m wearing and feel more hot tears stream down my cheeks, “Bels I’m not a girl, I’m sick of trying to be one and I-”

“Love, I know, I’ve known since we met. You have the body of a woman but, your blood, it’s not female. You’re a man my love, a real man. No matter what anyone says.” She grabs my face before I can speak and gently kisses me, “I love you nonetheless, if you’re worried about the dance, stop. I chose your outfit for you remember? Do you want to see your outfit for the dance baby?”

I nod, shocked by her love and acceptance. We stand and approach her closet, I turn to her as she grabs the most amazing tux I’ve ever seen. It perfectly matches her dress.

“Bels, darling,” I feel more tears well up in my eyes, “I fucking love you.”

“I love you too my pretty boy.”

Cassandra

“Hey pet- oh shit you’re crying,” Cassandra swarmed over and plonked on the bed in front of me, “who do I need to kill? What’s wrong doll?”

“Cass-” a sob cuts me off and I curl into her lap, the fabric of my bra digs into my back again and I claw at it to take it off.

“What are you doing? Why are you crying?! Also, what the fuck is going on!?!” Cassandra is practically fuming at this point, concern etched into her face. She grabs my hands and takes a deep breath, “Doll please talk to me, I’m here.”

I look up at her and tears well in my eyes, waves of fear and sadness crash onto me as I take a deep breath. Then blurt everything out at once, “Cassieimaboy”

“What?” A smile spreads on her face and she laughs, no, cackles at me, “Fucking-”

“Cass I'm so sorry I've known for a while but I love you so much and I didn't want to ruin anything and-" She purses her lips and puts a hand over my mouth.

“As I was saying, fucking finally dumbass, no shit.” she smirks down at me, and all I can do is stare back in shock "Are you almost done crying? I have a surprise for you and- hang on what?"

"Y-you love me?" She practically whispers the words before looking into my eyes with a mixture of confusion and glee. I get up and kneel above her, straddling her hips. I take her face in my hands and gently kiss her.

"How could I not?" I stare into her eyes awaiting her response Instead, she reaches into her pocket and grabs something.

"Um. I didn't really have anything planned but, uh, well. I made you this." She hands me a small box, a promise ring with the words I love you doll lies inside. "I'm not good with words but, uh, yeah.... I love you too, doll"

Daniela

"Hello, my love!" I hear Dani enter my chambers and call out to me in a sing-songy voice, before throwing something onto the bed "Are you excited for our date?"

"Y-yeah, I'm excited." Im lying, god I feel so shitty! My day was bad enough since the headmaid caught me out of uniform and practically forced me back into a skirt. Right now the last thing I want is for Dani to choose something overly feminine for me for our date today. I only really agreed to let her choose because I don't have anything other than commoner clothing. She comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist as she kisses my neck.

"My love, something is different about our date today. I chose your outfit again, but, I couldn't decide between these two! Which one do you like more?" She spins me around and grabs two outfits off of the bed, and I gasp. The first is a brown tux with a vest and the other is similar, except it is black with green specks of something shiny. The dress she's wearing is form fitting and gods she looks amazing in it "I figured since you are a man, you wouldn't want to wear a dress or anything, so I chose these! I like the brown on because it-"

"The black one. Please." I step towards her and press a kiss to her lips, "and thank you love, for everything. You look stunning by the way!!"

"Thank you my handsome pet." she giggles and hands me the tux before swarming away.

[meloethelavendeer]

Some of my Kris headcanons because they are my second favorite character

And also just cause I need to get these down on to paper (?)

Favorite colour is grey

Some other colours they like are blue and pink

15 years old

Loves halloween

Eyes are naturally red

Their knife is a gift from catti

Sort of struggles with being human, wishes they were a monster

Loves psychological horror games, especially indie ones

Autism

Their favorite animals are rats and cats

Looooves the aesthetic of plague doctors and masks in general

Nonbinary, this is quite obvious but still

Struggles with dysphoria a bit, alot of people see them as quite masculine when they just want to be androgynous

Some outfits include all black ones with fishnets and stuff, a cute pink and blue striped dress and a some neat accesories

Has alot of outfits in their wardrobe, just reaaaaally attached to that one sweater.

100% has tried to cosplay their dark world form

Fucking hates the government

Favorite drink is apple juice

Ex Christian (or whatever castle town follows), now an athiest (maybe pagan)

Likes emotional music and classical music.

Has pulled some pretty crazy pranks before, some even getting in the local papers

"A message written in toilet paper has been found in the middle of the road this morning, it spells LIGMA"

Figured out they were nonbinary with the help of monster teen, they were quite good friends.

Loves the moon and night

100% would be bullied and called a furry in human society

Right handed

Surprisingly agile, tries their best to keep athletic but doesn't really work out

Would absolutely adore ultrakill

Just says stuff sometimes, utters random phrases that don't make much sense

Big anxiety huge anxiety suffering anxiety

Enjoys doing stuff with both their hands and feet, has learnt to play games and write using their feet.

They use this to bully noelle for having hooves (light-heartedly, of course)

Paints their nails black

Tries to do make-up but fails miserably and it makes them really fucking sad.

Loves messing with people, irritating them. One might say trolling them

Their voice is quite unique. It's rather deep but they try their best not to have it sound masculine. They often talk quietly so it doesn't really have that gravel to it.

Oh btw amab kris

Grew up on Windows seven

And the ps3 as well

As a older sibling idk how younger siblings work so like no kris and asriel headcanons

Chill with most people unless they are assholes or problematic.

Trying to grow out their hair or at least make it a bit bigger.

Really really wants piercings but toriel refuses to let them have any (asgore has promised he will do his best to get them some for their 16th birthday)

Really jealous that they can't do magic, learnt magic tricks as a result

Pansexual

Gets more real world crushes then fictional crushes

Says really morbid things sometimes as "fun facts"

Wanted to be possessed by a demon and constantly joked about it

Now that it has happened they do not enjoy it at all , and nobody believes them when they talk about it. Except maybe susie.

They do appreciate it when the player tries to do best by them. Which is rare.

They still want us gone though.

Always talks about being evil but doesn't really want to hurt anybody, they care alot about their friends.

Yeah, that's all. A lot of these are projections, tbh but I'm glad I got it down.

[prettypinktulips]

I’m so gay for medic pls 🙏🏻 Medic with a trans guy reader headcanons pls,, how would he help him with his dysphoria?

OK HELLO IM BACK SORRY!!! yes medic is so nghhhh #notgay

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pair; Medic Tf2 x Trans!Male reader (I am a trans man so yes I do know somewhat about dysphoria)

~~~~~~

You sighed running your fingers through your (h/c) hair as you looked into the mirror, dull lights flicking in the back and nothing but silence filling your ears. "I don't know why it's so difficult for everyone else to understand how I feel." Teary eyes showing in the mirror, You stared even harder at your reflection as you started to lift your shirt up and took a look at your body. "I just wish.. sometimes, that I was a real man." You traced your fingers along the bandages that were binding your chest down and sighed.

"Y/N?" You heard that stupid German accent and immediately knew who it was, you hurried to pull down your shirt as you felt your heart race a bit. How long has he been in the room? You thought and looked over at the thankfully, closed bathroom door.

"Yes?"

"Could ya come out here for a second, ja?"

You rolled your eyes and unlocked the door, you looked over at the noirette and crossed your arms. "Can I help you, Ludwig?" He looked at your eyes and immediately knew something was wrong.

"What's with the tears, liebling?" Medic looked a little worried and walked up to your frame, his large hands intertwining yours as he looked up/down at you. Whatever he was going to talk to you about was completely down the drain, he was now focused on whatever was eating at you.

"Nothing, It's humiliating." You furrowed your brows and looked down at your intertwined hands, his hand was squeezing yours, not too tight to hurt you but tight enough that you could tell he was anxious.

"Please, let me know what's on your mind." The accent lingering around in your ears made it almost impossible for you to decline him a second time, you gave him a slight nod and huffed.

"Fine." You took in your surroundings to make sure the rest of the guys weren't around. You took in a deep breath, trying to hold back any tears that were threatening to fall down. Ludwig gave you a frown and laid his other hand on your cheek, wiping away any tears that snuck past your waterline. "I don't know, It's hard to explain. Sometimes I just wish I was a real guy. Not some wannabe man."

Medic's eyes widen at your harsh words and held your hand close to him, he made a somewhat pout look. Which is abnormal for him to do. "Why are you so mean to yourself, Meine Liebe?" He closed the space between you two and gave you a soft peck on the lips. "To me you are a real man, and always will be."

There you were choking back sobs again, how embarrassing. "I just want to look like how the other guys look! With their muscular bodies and stuff, it's just not fair!" Your voice cracked a bit at the end and Medic was listening to every bit of your ranting.

"Don't worry about how the other guys look, even if you were a cis male, they've been training for years." Medic looked to the side, letting go of your hand. "I'll tell you what, I'm sure I can figure out some 'crazy' metaphysical experiments for you." Your face lit up and looked into his eyes. How could you forget, he's like the mad scientist! If anything he could be the solution to your problem!

"That's sounds wonderful?!" You grinned and hurried to kiss him, his face flushed at the unexpected contact and kissed you back, grabbing both of your hands this time.

"Even if it doesn't work. You will still always be a man, at least to me. I promise." Ludwig caressed your thumb. "And if anything, you're the most handsome man I've seen in my life." Your face in a posthaste, was flushed.

"You really think so?"

"Ja."

~~~~~~~~~~~~`

SORRY if its bad im so tired mimis <333

[defilerwyrm]

I feel so stupid to say this but I'm a trans man, but I have a lot of learning disabilities so I'm trying to understand things better. I was born AFAB but I'm trying to understand how "bio sex" works and if it is even real. I've heard a lot of people say it isn't but that makes me feel sorta as if my transness isn't valid then. I do not agree w trans meds at all, they're terf lites and their "male/female brain" stuff is so wrong. But I'm curious since the brain isn't gendered, what makes us the bio sex we are? I get gender is different and it is WHO we are and how we think and present etc but can you explain bio sex please? :) I also really want phallo and top surgery and it makes me curious how gender which is a social construct has an urge to match up with biology somehow? Like how come my dysphoria feels so bad that I lack a dick..how does my gender want that?

Hoo boy. Biological sex is actually really complex. It’s made up of your sex chromosomes, sex hormones, primary sex characteristics developed as a fetus, secondary sex characteristics developed in puberty, and I think a few other factors I’m forgetting. All of these elements are not binary (meaning there are only two options), but instead bimodal (meaning there are two options that are the most common, but there are others).

So using myself as an example, my chromosomes are unknown because I’ve never been karyotyped (tested for sex chromosomes); my endocrine system is almost completely testosterone-based; I have zero “female” reproductive organs and most of the “male” ones (minus testes); and I have a few “female” sex characteristics (undeveloped hyoid (Adam’s apple), wide hips, narrow shoulders, smallish hands & feet) and many “male” ones (deep voice, broad jaw, flat chest, vascular hands, body hair, facial hair, male pattern alopecia, male fat distribution, lower body temperature, high sex drive). So without knowing what my chromosomes are, by all accounts I’m male.

The whole male brain/female brain thing has been pretty well debunked. There are only subtle differences between the brains of cis men and cis women at the population level, and those physical differences that do exist are most likely caused by differences in socialization for certain skillsets. In other words, if you teach boys and girls that they’re supposed to be good at different things as they’re growing up, their brains will develop to be better at those things that they practice from an early age—be that fine motor skills, or telling colors apart, or interpreting other people’s tone and moods, or being empathetic, etc. Obviously there are disabilities that can stand in the way or complicate matters, but there’s something called the Pygmalion effect where if you consistently tell a child that they’re good at a certain thing, they will BECOME good at it—and if you consistently tell a child they’re bad at a thing, they will do poorly at it.

Something I find really interesting, talking about the link between biological sex and gender identity, is the prevalence of PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) in trans men. The rates shown by studies varies a lot, but taking average rates, about 5% (1 in 20) AFAB people have PCOS, but about 60% (3 in 5) trans men have it. PCOS is an endocrine condition (and, arguably, an intersex condition) that has a slew of effects, and one of those is relatively high levels of androgens like testosterone. The REALLY interesting part is that PCOS medications that decrease testosterone and increase estrogen result in MORE gender dysphoria for trans men and LESS in cis women! I remember before I even figure out I’m trans, my mom told me I needed to get on metformin to decrease testosterone and boost estrogen, and the very thought of it made me nauseous and angry!

A possible interpretation of that is that there is an intrinsic link between our gender identity and our physical sex that opposes our primary sex characteristics. In other words, we’re MEANT to be men and our bodies know it.

(Now, things like this on the trans woman side, I will admit I don’t know offhand; you’d have to ask a trans woman who follows medical science. I would point you to my sister because she fits the bill, but we have an unspoken agreement to keep our online lives separate for privacy. That is to say, I don’t remember her blog name lmao sorry sis)

But yeah. The thing about top and bottom dysphoria is that it isn’t like social dysphoria where it depends on how you’re seen by others. It’s an internal knowledge—a gnosis, if you will—that something is WRONG regardless of what others think, say, or do. Speaking for myself again, sure you can be a man without a dick, fine, whatever, but I, personally, was supposed to have one. It wasn’t the social construction of what masculinity is supposed to entail that made me hate my tits and cooch, it was the fact that they felt horrible and wrong and I knew I was meant to have a flat chest, dick, and balls instead. And that feeling of wrongness started at a very young age, if I’m honest; I just didn’t have the vocabulary and knowledge to identify it until my mid-20s.

How does this relate to my PCOS? We don’t actually know. But don’t you think it’s interesting that the signs that I was trans were there long before my first puberty awakened the PCOS in the first place?

Gender roles are a fluid social construct. What’s considered masculine and feminine change with culture and time. But gender identity is, as far as medical science can figure, hardwired in the brain. For most people, by happy coincidence of sex and gender being bimodal, their physical sex (as complex as it is!) and gender identity more or less align, and they never really have to think about it. For others, there is a natural misalignment between the two—and it can take quite some time to figure it all out, because our cultures try very to force a bimodal spectrum into a binary box.

I think I’ve rambled enough, hey? Let’s see if my dogshit wifi will let me post this without losing everything.

[frownyalfred]

i've been going through your asks and really enjoying your thoughts on how certain things work in your a/b/o world and i'm curious about transness in your world? are ppl allowed to take suppressants/medication to change their secondary gender if they want? if jason really didn't feel like an omega and wanted to be a beta or alpha, is that something he could do? i know that's not the point of your fic but i wondered how something like that would be treated

Thank you anon! Good question. I think I answered a few asks when I first started writing ASOH back in the fall about this topic. The question came up in the context of in-universe trans-ness versus Jason's desire to be alpha versus gender essentialism (that I was trying to avoid while writing this trope).

Personally, I always thought that Jason's aversion to his gender mirrors Bruce's, in that they have no internal issue with the changes of their bodies or instincts, but are averse to the external expectations, pressures, and effects of being omega in an a/b/o universe.

In my opinion, that meant that Jason and Bruce's initial rejection of omegahood was less about a disconnect between their personal, innate gender identity and the world they live in, and more about a disconnect between expected gender expression and the world they live in. Essentially, if omegas were treated better in-universe and free of stereotypes and expectations, they would have far fewer, if any, objections to their presented gender identity.

But, I absolutely believe there are folks in the a/b/o universe I've built who do feel that identity disconnect, i.e., that if omegas were suddenly treated better and gender expression expectations disappeared, they would still experience dysphoria about their dynamic/presented gender. And yes, I imagine they would take blockers/suppressants to achieve that.

Jason, for example, likely could've lived unpresented and frozen right before his presentation likely indefinitely, on the right drugs. I imagine this is kind of like how puberty blockers work IRL. Bruce attempted to suppress his dynamic post-presentation, and eventually over-did the suppressants to the point where they stopped working. Basically implying that a pre-presentation suppressant routine is easier and more tolerated than a post-presentation suppressant routine.

As we saw in the fic, Jason's use of alpha pheromones did grant him alpha instincts and abilities, though slightly more limited than other alphas in some ways. He had an alpha voice and certainly the scent. When he was routinely taking the medication, he was recognized by others as an alpha (minus Clark, who has a super nose, and Lex, who also arguably has a more sensitive than average nose).

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, other than to say, yes absolutely. I really hoped, and continue to hope, that I manage to discuss these tropes and topics in a way that's respectful to trans folks and doesn't veer into genre/trope-specific gender essentialism.

I don't want Bruce or Jason especially to be viewed as examples of resolved gender dysphoria, because their root issue wasn't necessarily gender dysphoria as we understand it. Their problem was with the expectations and real consequences of being their dynamic, and their own internalized hatred for the dynamic (likely borne from trauma).

A lot of those expectations are subverted in this fic. Becoming an omega isn't what Bruce or Jason thought it would be, and mostly in good ways.